"1","films adapted from comic books have had plenty of success , whether they're about superheroes ( batman , superman , spawn ) , or geared toward kids ( casper ) or the arthouse crowd ( ghost world ) , but there's never really been a comic book like from hell before . 
for starters , it was created by alan moore ( and eddie campbell ) , who brought the medium to a whole new level in the mid '80s with a 12-part series called the watchmen . 
to say moore and campbell thoroughly researched the subject of jack the ripper would be like saying michael jackson is starting to look a little odd . 
the book ( or "" graphic novel , "" if you will ) is over 500 pages long and includes nearly 30 more that consist of nothing but footnotes . 
in other words , don't dismiss this film because of its source . 
if you can get past the whole comic book thing , you might find another stumbling block in from hell's directors , albert and allen hughes . 
getting the hughes brothers to direct this seems almost as ludicrous as casting carrot top in , well , anything , but riddle me this : who better to direct a film that's set in the ghetto and features really violent street crime than the mad geniuses behind menace ii society ? 
the ghetto in question is , of course , whitechapel in 1888 london's east end . 
it's a filthy , sooty place where the whores ( called "" unfortunates "" ) are starting to get a little nervous about this mysterious psychopath who has been carving through their profession with surgical precision . 
when the first stiff turns up , copper peter godley ( robbie coltrane , the world is not enough ) calls in inspector frederick abberline ( johnny depp , blow ) to crack the case . 
abberline , a widower , has prophetic dreams he unsuccessfully tries to quell with copious amounts of absinthe and opium . 
upon arriving in whitechapel , he befriends an unfortunate named mary kelly ( heather graham , say it isn't so ) and proceeds to investigate the horribly gruesome crimes that even the police surgeon can't stomach . 
i don't think anyone needs to be briefed on jack the ripper , so i won't go into the particulars here , other than to say moore and campbell have a unique and interesting theory about both the identity of the killer and the reasons he chooses to slay . 
in the comic , they don't bother cloaking the identity of the ripper , but screenwriters terry hayes ( vertical limit ) and rafael yglesias ( les mis ? rables ) do a good job of keeping him hidden from viewers until the very end . 
it's funny to watch the locals blindly point the finger of blame at jews and indians because , after all , an englishman could never be capable of committing such ghastly acts . 
and from hell's ending had me whistling the stonecutters song from the simpsons for days ( "" who holds back the electric car/who made steve guttenberg a star ? "" ) . 
don't worry - it'll all make sense when you see it . 
now onto from hell's appearance : it's certainly dark and bleak enough , and it's surprising to see how much more it looks like a tim burton film than planet of the apes did ( at times , it seems like sleepy hollow 2 ) . 
the print i saw wasn't completely finished ( both color and music had not been finalized , so no comments about marilyn manson ) , but cinematographer peter deming ( don't say a word ) ably captures the dreariness of victorian-era london and helped make the flashy killing scenes remind me of the crazy flashbacks in twin peaks , even though the violence in the film pales in comparison to that in the black-and-white comic . 
oscar winner martin childs' ( shakespeare in love ) production design turns the original prague surroundings into one creepy place . 
even the acting in from hell is solid , with the dreamy depp turning in a typically strong performance and deftly handling a british accent . 
ians holm ( joe gould's secret ) and richardson ( 102 dalmatians ) log in great supporting roles , but the big surprise here is graham . 
i cringed the first time she opened her mouth , imagining her attempt at an irish accent , but it actually wasn't half bad . 
the film , however , is all good . 
2 : 00 - r for strong violence/gore , sexuality , language and drug content 
"
"1","every now and then a movie comes along from a suspect studio , with every indication that it will be a stinker , and to everybody's surprise ( perhaps even the studio ) the film becomes a critical darling . 
mtv films' _election , a high school comedy starring matthew broderick and reese witherspoon , is a current example . 
did anybody know this film existed a week before it opened ? 
the plot is deceptively simple . 
george washington carver high school is having student elections . 
tracy flick ( reese witherspoon ) is an over-achiever with her hand raised at nearly every question , way , way , high . 
mr . "" m "" ( matthew broderick ) , sick of the megalomaniac student , encourages paul , a popular-but-slow jock to run . 
and paul's nihilistic sister jumps in the race as well , for personal reasons . 
the dark side of such sleeper success is that , because expectations were so low going in , the fact that this was quality stuff made the reviews even more enthusiastic than they have any right to be . 
you can't help going in with the baggage of glowing reviews , which is in contrast to the negative baggage that the reviewers were likely to have . 
_election , a good film , does not live up to its hype . 
what makes _election_ so disappointing is that it contains significant plot details lifted directly from _rushmore_ , released a few months earlier . 
the similarities are staggering : 
tracy flick ( _election_ ) is the president of an extraordinary number of clubs , and is involved with the school play . 
max fischer ( _rushmore_ ) is the president of an extraordinary number of clubs , and is involved with the school play . 
the most significant tension of _election_ is the potential relationship between a teacher and his student . 
the most significant tension of _rushmore_ is the potential relationship between a teacher and his student . 
tracy flick is from a single parent home , which has contributed to her drive . 
max fischer is from a single parent home , which has contributed to his drive . 
the male bumbling adult in _election_ ( matthew broderick ) pursues an extramarital affair , gets caught , and his whole life is ruined . 
he even gets a bee sting . 
the male bumbling adult in _rushmore_ ( bill murray ) pursues an extramarital affair , gets caught , and his whole life is ruined . 
he gets several bee stings . 
and so on . 
what happened ? 
how is it that an individual screenplay ( _rushmore_ ) and a novel ( _election_ ) contain so many significant plot points , and yet both films were probably not even aware of each other , made from two different studios , from a genre ( the high school geeks revenge movie ) that hadn't been fully formed yet ? 
even so , the strengths of _election_ rely upon its fantastic performances from broderick , witherspoon , and newcomer jessica campbell , as paul's anti-social sister , tammy . 
broderick here is playing the mr . rooney role from _ferris bueller_ , and he seems to be having the most fun he's had since then . 
witherspoon is a revelation . 
it's early in the year , it's a comedy , and teenagers have little clout , but for my money , witherspoon deserves an oscar nomination . 
and once campbell's character gets going , like in her fantastic speech in the gymnasium , then you're won over . 
one thing that's been bothering me since i've seen it . 
there is an extraordinary amount of sexuality in this film . 
i suppose that , coming from mtv films , i should expect no less . . . 
but the film starts off light and airy , like a sitcom . 
as the screws tighten , and the tensions mount , alexander payne decides to add elements that , frankly , distract from the story . 
it is bad enough that mr . m doesn't like tracy's determination to win at all costs , but did they have to throw in the student/teacher relationship ? 
even so , there's no logical reason why mr . m has an affair when he does . 
there's a lot to like in _election_ , but the plot similarities to _rushmore_ , and the tonal nosedive it takes as it gets explicitly sex-driven , mark this as a disappointment . 
"
"1","you've got mail works alot better than it deserves to . 
in order to make the film a success , all they had to do was cast two extremely popular and attractive stars , have them share the screen for about two hours and then collect the profits . 
no real acting was involved and there is not an original or inventive bone in it's body ( it's basically a complete re-shoot of the shop around the corner , only adding a few modern twists ) . 
essentially , it goes against and defies all concepts of good contemporary filmmaking . 
it's overly sentimental and at times terribly mushy , not to mention very manipulative . 
but oh , how enjoyable that manipulation is . 
but there must be something other than the casting and manipulation that makes the movie work as well as it does , because i absolutely hated the previous ryan/hanks teaming , sleepless in seattle . 
it couldn't have been the directing , because both films were helmed by the same woman . 
i haven't quite yet figured out what i liked so much about you've got mail , but then again , is that really important ? 
if you like something so much , why even question it ? 
again , the storyline is as cliched as they come . 
tom hanks plays joe fox , the insanely likeable owner of a discount book chain and meg ryan plays kathleen kelley , the even more insanely likeable proprietor of a family-run children's book shop called , in a nice homage , the shop around the corner . 
fox and kelley soon become bitter rivals because the new fox books store is opening up right across the block from the small business . 
little do they know , they are already in love with each other over the internet , only neither party knows the other person's true identity . 
the rest of the story isn't important because all it does is serve as a mere backdrop for the two stars to share the screen . 
sure , there are some mildly interesting subplots , but they all fail in comparison to the utter cuteness of the main relationship . 
all of this , of course , leads up to the predictable climax . 
but as foreseeable as the ending is , it's so damn cute and well-done that i doubt any movie in the entire year contains a scene the evokes as much pure joy as this part does . 
when ryan discovers the true identity of her online love , i was filled with such , for lack of a better word , happiness that for the first time all year , i actually left the theater smiling . 
"
"1"," "" jaws "" is a rare film that grabs your attention before it shows you a single image on screen . 
the movie opens with blackness , and only distant , alien-like underwater sounds . 
then it comes , the first ominous bars of composer john williams' now infamous score . 
dah-dum . 
from there , director steven spielberg wastes no time , taking us into the water on a midnight swim with a beautiful girl that turns deadly . 
right away he lets us know how vulnerable we all are floating in the ocean , and once "" jaws "" has attacked , it never relinquishes its grip . 
perhaps what is most outstanding about "" jaws "" is how spielberg builds the movie . 
he works it like a theatrical production , with a first act and a second act . 
unlike so many modern filmmakers , he has a great deal of restraint , and refuses to show us the shark until the middle of the second act . 
until then , he merely suggests its presence with creepy , subjective underwater shots and williams' music . 
he's building the tension bit by bit , so when it comes time for the climax , the shark's arrival is truly terrifying . 
he doesn't let us get bored with the imagery . 
the first act opens with police chief martin brody ( roy scheider ) , a new york cop who has taken an easy , peaceful job running the police station on amity island , a fictitious new england resort town where there hasn't been a murder or a gun fired in 25 years . 
the island is shaken up by several vicious great white shark attacks right before the fourth of july , and the mayor , larry vaughn ( murray hamilton ) , doesn't want to shut down the beaches because the island is reliant on summer tourist money . 
brody is joined by matt hooper ( richard dreyfuss ) , a young , ambitious shark expert from the marine institute . 
hooper is as fascinated by the shark as he is determined to help brody stop it -- his knowledge about the exact workings of the shark ( "" it's a perfect engine , an eating machine "" ) make it that much more terrifying . 
when vaughn finally relents , hooper and brody join a crusty old shark killer named quint ( robert shaw ) on his decrepit boat , the orca , to search for the shark . 
the entire second act takes place on the orca as the three men hunt the shark , and inevitably , are hunted by it . 
 "" jaws "" is a thriller with a keen sense of humor and an incredible sense of pacing , tension , and horror . 
it is like ten movies all rolled into one , and it's no wonder it took america by storm in the summer of 1975 , taking in enough money to crown it the box office champ of all time ( until it was unceremoniously dethroned in 1977 by "" star wars "" ) . 
even today , fascination with this film is on par with hitchcock's "" psycho , "" and it never seems to age . 
although grand new technology exists that makes the technical sequences , including several mechanical sharks , obsolete , none of it could improve the film because it only would lead to overkill . 
the technical limitations faced by spielberg in 1975 may have actually produced a better film because it forced him to rely on traditional cinematic elements like pacing , characterization , sharp editing , and creative photography , instead of simply dousing the audience with digital shark effects . 
scheider , dreyfuss , and shaw were known actors at the time "" jaws "" was made , but none of them had the draw of a robert redford or paul newman . 
nevertheless , this film guaranteed them all successful careers because each gave an outstanding performance and refused to be overshadowed by the shark . 
scheider hits just the right notes as a sympathetic husband and father caught in the political quagmire of doing what's right and going against the entire town . 
 "" it's your first summer here , you know , "" mayor vaughn warns him . 
dreyfuss , who had previously been seen in "" american graffiti "" ( 1973 ) and "" the apprenticeship of duddy kravitz "" ( 1974 ) gives a surprisingly mature , complex performance for someone who had literally only played kids and teenagers . 
however , most outstanding is the gnarled performance by robert shaw as the movie's captain ahab , a performance sorely overlooked by the academy awards . 
bordering of parody , shaw plays quint as a grizzled old loner whose machismo borders on masochism . 
he's slightly deranged , and shaw's performance is almost a caricature . 
however , there is one scene late in the film , when he and brody and hooper are below deck on the orca comparing scars . 
quint is drawn into telling the story of his experiences aboard the u . s . s . 
indianapolis , a navy ship in world war ii that was sunk by the japanese . 
his tale of floating in the water for more than a week with over 1 , 000 other men while swarms of sharks slowly devoured them them is actually more hair-raising than anything spielberg put on screen . 
shaw delivers the story in one long take , and it is the best acting in the film . 
of course , we can't leave out the shark itself ; with its black eyes , endless rows of teeth , and insatiable urge to eat , it is basically the epitome of all mankind's fears about what is unknown and threatening in nature . 
a shark is such a perfect nemesis it is real -- having survived sinch the dinosaurs , great whites do exist , they can be as large as the shark in "" jaws , "" and they are a threat . 
every one of spielberg's subjective underwater shots makes us feel queasy because lets us see how we look to the shark : a bunch of writihing , dangling , completely unprotected legs just ready to be chomped into . 
the shark in "" jaws "" was actually a combination of actual footage and five different mechanical sharks ( all nicknamed "" bruce "" by the crew ) built to be shot from different angles . 
many have forgotten , but "" jaws "" was a sort of precursor to "" waterworld "" ( 1995 ) , a movie's who soggy production and cost overruns had universal studios worried about a bomb . 
but , as we can see now , spielberg overcame all the obstacles , and delivered one of the finest primal scare-thrillers ever to come out of hollywood . 
"
"1","moviemaking is a lot like being the general manager of an nfl team in the post-salary cap era -- you've got to know how to allocate your resources . 
every dollar spent on a free-agent defensive tackle is one less dollar than you can spend on linebackers or safeties or centers . 
in the nfl , this leads to teams like the detroit lions , who boast a superstar running back with a huge contract , but can only field five guys named herb to block for him . 
in the movies , you end up with films like "" spawn "" , with a huge special-effects budget but not enough money to hire any recognizable actors . 
jackie chan is the barry sanders of moviemaking . 
he spins and darts across the screen like sanders cutting back through the defensive line . 
watching jackie in operation condor as he drives his motorcycle through the crowded streets of madrid , fleeing an armada of pursuers in identical black compact cars , is reminiscent of sanders running for daylight with the chicago bears in hot pursuit , except that sanders doesn't have to worry about rescuing runaway baby carriages . 
but like the lions star , jackie doesn't have anybody to block for him . 
almost every cent that's invested in a jackie chan movie goes for stunts , and as chan does his own stunts , the rest of the money goes to pay his hospital bills . 
this leaves about 75 cents to pay for things like directors ( chan directs ) , scripts and dubbing and supporting characters , not to mention the hideous title sequence . 
this also explains why the movie was shot in odd places like morocco and spain . 
 ( chan's first release in this country , "" rumble in the bronx "" , was supposedly set in new york , but was filmed in vancouver , and in the chase scenes the canadian rockies are clearly visible . ) 
heck , jackie doesn't even have enough money for a haircut , looks like , much less a personal hairstylist . 
in condor , chan plays the same character he's always played , himself , a mixture of bruce lee and tim allen , a master of both kung-fu and slapstick-fu . 
jackie is sent by the un to retrieve a cache of lost nazi gold in the north african desert , and is chased by a horde of neo-nazi sympathizers and two stereotypical arabs ( one of the things i like about jackie chan movies : no political correctness ) . 
he is joined by three women , who have little to do except scream , "" jackie , save us ! "" , and misuse firearms . 
the villain is an old nazi whose legs were broken in the secret base so that he has to be carried everywhere , and he's more pathetic than evil . 
en route , we have an extended motorcycle chase scene , a hilarious fight in the moroccan version of motel 6 with the neo-nazis , and two confrontations with savage natives . 
once at the secret desert base , there is a long chop-socky sequence , followed by the film's centerpiece , a wind-tunnel fight that's even better than the one in face/off . 
this is where the money was spent , on well-choreographed kung-fu sequences , on giant kevlar hamster balls , on smashed-up crates of bananas , and on scorpions . 
ignore the gaping holes in the plot ( how , exactly , if the villain's legs were broken , did he escape from the secret nazi base , and why didn't he take the key with him ? ) . 
don't worry about the production values , or what , exactly , the japanese girl was doing hitchhiking across the sahara . 
just go see the movie . 
operation condor has pretentions of being a "" raiders of the lost ark "" knockoff , but one wonders what jackie could do with the raiders franchise blocking for him -- with a lawrence kazdan screenplay , a john williams score , spielberg directing and george lucas producing , condor might be an a+ movie . 
however , you've got to go with what you've got , and what you've got in jackie chan is something special -- a talent that mainstream hollywood should , could , and ought to utilize . 
"
"1","on june 30 , 1960 , a self-taught , idealistic , yet pragmatic , young man became , at age 36 , the first head of government of a newly independent african state , formerly the belgian congo . 
two months later , he was ousted from his powerful position and hunted by government troops until he was captured and brutally murdered along with two aides . 
this little-known story of this meteoric rise and fall is told my international filmmaker raoul peck in "" lumumba . "" 
patrice lumumba's ( eriq ebouaney ) story has been told previously by helmer peck in his 1991 award winning documentary , "" lumumba - death of a prophet , "" virtually guaranteeing that his new , fictional account of a patriot remains true to its subject . 
peck , with co-writer pascal bonitzer , begins at the end of the story of the young political leader . 
we watch as two white men perform the gruesome task of dismembering the bodies of three black men . 
images of hatchets , saws and fast-emptying whiskey bottles accompany the grisly image . 
jump back a few years to a meeting among the black leaders in the belgian-owned congo . 
a third class postal worker , lumumba , speaks his mind to heads of the most powerful tribes , proclaiming himself not tribal , not regional , but a national leader . 
his small , mobile party , the congolese national movement ( mnc ) is gaining prominence and patrice leaves his clerical job to sell beer , and get his face known , in the bustling capital , stanleyville . 
at a time when the colonial empires are falling down around the world , lumumba is in the right place at the right time and , through political savvy and chess-like manipulation , achieves a position of leadership of the mnc . 
as the date for independence approaches , he tactically positions himself to be the new nation's first prime minister and defense minister , supporting the presidency of joseph kasa vubu ( maka kotto ) . 
the coalition he created soon starts to fall apart as the former belgian masters continue to exert influence on the struggling nation as they strive to maintain economic hold on the country's vast natural resources of copper , diamonds , gold and more . 
lumumba won't seek the help of the us , knowing that they would try to create de facto american control of the fledgling government . 
his initial investigation into soviet assistance immediately tags patrice as a communist and his integrity is overshadowed by the cold war threat of russian domination . 
the situation goes from bad to worse as the army mutinies , the remaining whites begin to evacuate or arm themselves , belgian troops violently intervene , the lucrative katanga province succeeds under the leadership of rival moise tschombe ( pascal nzonzi ) and lumumba is refused access to his own country when he returns from a conference abroad . 
this tumultuous and little known period of modern african history saw a score of nations struggling for independence from the sometimes-odious colonialists who have ruled much of the world from their european seats of power for centuries . 
peck focuses his story on familiar material that strives to give an honest portrayal of patrice lumumba , his friend and foes and the independence movements that gripped africa in the 50's and 60's . 
 ( during the time the story takes place , many new nations , including nigeria and somalia , were born , with varying degrees of success and failure , usually dependent upon which country colonized them . 
some colonial masters were better than others . ) 
the effort involved in "" lumumba "" is quite ambitious as peck and his crew before and behind the camera strive to bring to life this slice of world history that might have gone unexplored for decades , if at all . 
production values are first rate on what must be a small , by us standards , budget . 
the period feel and realistic african settings are nicely maintained in a production that traveled from zimbabwe to mozambique . 
the screenplay covers a lot of ground and does yeoman's work in providing a great deal of detailed history while trying to do justice to the story of lumumba's life . 
the political side of things is evenly told in a linear , straightforward manner that teaches , not preaches . 
it concentrates on the good deeds of the man , if a bit as a stalwart saint , but doesn't embellish on a larger than life persona . 
the family side of patrice's life is handled in several , perfunctory and brief interludes that show him talking to one of his children , embracing his wife or lamenting the death of his child . 
i know the intent is to flesh the man out , but too short a shrift is given to the family man side of lumumba . 
the story , as such , has a lopsided feel about it . 
high marks go to eriq ebouaney as the title character . 
the actor gives a convincing , charismatic performance as the multifaceted , politically deft patrice lumumba who has the good of his people and his country as the force driving his own ambitions . 
in true docudrama tradition , the supporting cast does not outshine the star , complementing his good efforts , instead . 
 "" lumumba "" is a solid , interesting , educational and honest docudrama that should appeal to film buffs and politicos , both . 
it has more intelligence in its telling than anything i've seen out of hollywood for months and i give it a b+ . 
"
"1","apparently , director tony kaye had a major battle with new line regarding his new film , american history x . i don't know the details of the fight , but it seems that he is not happy with the final product , and nearly removed his name from the credits altogether . 
i've heard about this kind of thing happening before , and it makes me wonder how much input a studio has over the films they produce . 
as it is , i found american history x to be an extremely good film , not just because of tony kaye's focused look at the touchy subject of racism , but because of a powerful , charismatic performance from edward norton . 
it's hard to believe that it has only been two years since norton's fantastic role in primal fear , but , here he is now , starring in his own film and making himself a star . 
norton is one of those performers who becomes his character , and his work in american history x is one of the very best performances this year . 
he plays a young man named derek vinyard , a skinhead living in venice beach with his brother , danny ( edward furlong ) , mother ( beverly d'angelo ) , and sister , davin ( jennifer lien ) . 
the film opens with a flashback , in which derek brutally kills two black men vandalizing his car . 
we find out that this lands him in prison , and the film from that point is seen through the eyes of danny . 
in the present-time of the film , danny is in high school , and eager to follow the footsteps of his brother . 
much of the film is told in flashback , and we see the path that leads to derek's adoption of white supremacy . 
when derek is released , having served three years in prison , he finds that his brother is now a full-blown skinhead ; derek , however , has given up the violence , and tries to get his brother to understand why racism and the violence that comes with it are bad things . 
what makes this all interesting is that these two young men are not stupid , thoughtless people -- they are intelligent and articulate , and voice their beliefs in disturbingly straightforward terms . 
it's hard to make a controversial movie and not preach , but kaye has found the right note for his material . 
because american history x is a mainstream film , there has to be a redemption phase for our main character -- some people may think that this is the only way to make him sympathetic . 
i partially disagree with this , because , although i do not advocate racism in any way , it's interesting the way kaye presents derek -- he is a loud , obnoxious man , but he's also very smart . 
the reasons for why he becomes a skinhead are believable -- his father was arbitrarily killed by a group of black men . 
it's clear that he's passionate about his beliefs , and that he's not just a punk looking for an excuse to beat people up . 
of course , it helps that kaye has an actor as talented as norton to play this part . 
it's astonishing how frightening norton looks with a shaved head and a swastika on his chest . 
in addition to getting the look just right , he's perfect for this role -- derek requires intelligence , depth , and a whole lot of shouting , and norton does it all with ease . 
even when he's at his meanest , derek has a likable quality to him , and that's a gutsy approach when telling a story about a skinhead . 
what adds depth to the story is a subplot in which the principal of danny's school ( avery brooks ) becomes obsessed with purging the hatred from danny . 
the other performances are all terrific , with standouts from furlong , d'angelo , and lien . 
visually , the film is very powerful . 
kaye indulges in a lot of interesting artistic choices , and most of them work nicely -- lots of slow-motion and strange camera angles add to a moody atmosphere . 
but , like a lot of movies lately , american history x skims past greatness in the last few minutes . 
although the climactic scene is very moving , the picture ends with a pretentious , preachy resolution featuring a brief narration from a character who was killed . 
for a movie so smart a subtle up until that point , it felt like a slap in the face to be hand-fed a theme in such a simplistic way . 
it makes me wonder what , exactly , tony kaye disliked about the final version of his film . 
perhaps this last scene was the problem . 
it's hard to imagine any director not being at least partially pleased with a film this good -- in a time when so many movies are timid and weak , american history x manages to make a compelling argument for racism without advocating it any way . 
"
"1","one of my colleagues was surprised when i told her i was willing to see betsy's wedding . 
and she was shocked to hear that i actually liked it . 
her reaction was understandable when you consider that the film revolves around molly ringwald , who hasn't made a worthwhile film since 1986 . 
but the fact is , betsy's wedding is also an alan alda film . 
and while ringwald has been making duds for the last four years , alda has been involved with several noteworthy projects , including crimes and misdemeanors and a new life . 
written and directed by alda , betsy's wedding is a vibrant slice-of-life , mixing a few dramatic moments into a big bowl of whimsical humor . 
alda's comic elixir is smooth and refreshing--and a welcome change of pace from the usual summer fare . 
as bride and groom , molly ringwald and dylan walsh are the pivotal characters in the film , but they are by far the least interesting . 
walsh is a nonentity , with all the screen presence of a door knob . 
ringwald is simply unbearable and is easily the weakest link in the chain . 
she looks hideous with her short-cropped orange hair , red lip-stick and grotesque outfits . 
she's supposed to be a dress designer , but she looks more like a clown . 
and to make matters worse , ringwald's performance matches her appearance . 
thankfully , alda keeps ringwald's screen time to a minimum ; he is far more interested in the colorful periphery characters . 
the wedding is just a device to bring together the bride's working-class , italian family and the groom's rich , gentile family . 
ringwald's folks are homey and down-to-earth , with alda as her free-spirited father , madeline kahn as her practical mother , and ally sheedy as her lonely sister . 
walsh's clan , on the other hand , is prim , proper and ostentatious . 
when the two families meet and mingle , the movie becomes a story of culture clash , or as one character puts it , "" money versus values . "" 
ally sheedy , in a wonderfully understated performance , is one of the film's most pleasant surprises . 
sheedy expresses more with just her eyes than ringwald does with her entire body . 
it's anthony lapaglia , however , who seizes the spotlight . 
lapaglia plays stevie dee , a suave , overly polite mafioso who is formally courting sheedy with old-fashioned chivalry . 
lapaglia's sincere but dim-witted character is a riot . 
and what's uncanny is that lapaglia is a dead ringer for robert de niro , with a little bit of alec baldwin thrown in for good measure . 
lapaglia seems to have attended the de niro school of gangster acting , and his inspired performance is partly a tribute to his role-model and partly a rip-off . 
i don't know whether to say a star is born or a star is re-born , but i do know that lapaglia's over-the-top performance should not be missed . 
the scrumptious comic acting , however , extends well beyond sheedy and lapaglia . 
joe pesci , in particular , sinks his teeth into his role as alda's unscrupulous brother-in-law , a slum lord with mob ties , who is cheating on his wife ( catherine o'hara ) . 
alda , faced with challenge of both directing and acting , somehow finds just the right comic touch as the bride's financially-strapped father , a carpenter whose dreams are bigger than his wallet . 
the film adopts alda's psychological point of view as he tries to one : plan the wedding , and two : pay for it . 
as a filmmaker , alda's style of humor is remarkably restrained and tasteful . 
and while he doesn't have the comic genius of a woody allen , alda does possess the inspiration to make movies which are ten times more entertaining than the slop which usually passes for comedy . 
"
"1","after bloody clashes and independence won , lumumba refused to pander to the belgians , who continued a condescending and paternalistic relationship with the congo . 
their officers , particularly general janssens ( rudi delhem ) in the force publique , the congo's army , caused rebellions , undermining lumumba , who was outraged at the rape and murder of belgian nationals . 
with unrest building , moise tshombe ( pascal nzonzi ) and the province of katanga , which contained 70 percent of the country's resources , proclaimed secession . 
lumumba replaced janssens , making mobutu a colonel , and went on a pacification 
tour with congolese president joseph kasa vubu ( maka kotto ) , but it was too late . 
'when you want to drown a dog , you say it has rabies , ' prophesies lumumba of his own fate . 
peck and bonitzer do an exemplary job telling a complicated tale with a myriad of players , although they frequently succumb to cliche , particularly regarding lumumba's private life . 
peck's script illuminates bantu sayings like 'the hand that gives , rules' when lumumba uses it with the american ambassador . 
peck's direction is less assured , with many scenes unfortunately playing like standard television fare . 
he's served well , though , by his casting of ebouaney in the title role . 
ebouaney is dynamic , radiating his character's fierce passion for his people and his country . 
lumumba's intelligence and ability to strategize , even as he's cornered by insurmountable odds , are given life by ebouaney . 
peck's subject and lead actor elevate his film above its mediocre production . 
 "" lumumba "" is a story that deserves to be told and ebouaney's performance makes the tragedy personally felt . 
"
"1","the american action film has been slowly drowning to death in a sea of asian wire-fu copycats . 
it's not a pretty death , and it's leaving the likes of schwartznager , stallone , and van damme wearing cement galoshes at the bottom of a kung fu sea . 
sometimes , the mix results in a mind-blowing spectacle unlike any other . 
quality action with amazing and exciting stunt work , as in 1999's the matrix , can be a real gem . 
but too often hollywood gets it wrong , even when they pay off chinese directors . 
flying ninjas and floating karate masters have been replaced by soaring bronx detectives and slow motion kicking scientists . 
mostly it's laughable . 
in hollywood's rush to emulate the success of the matrix , trademark asian stunt choreography has become more of a joke than an art form . 
but iron monkey , the latest asian import , shows us how to get it right . 
iron monkey ( actually a reissue of a 1993 film ) is the story of a 19th chinese vigilante ( rongguang yu ) , fighting with his own unique style of shaolin kung fu for the rights of the oppressed and the bellies of the hungry . 
but it is also a piece of the narrative of legendary chinese film hero wong fei-hong , most recently seen in one of the most overlooked , and possibly best films of 2000 , drunken master 2 ( released in the u . s . as the legend of drunken master ) . 
unlike drunken master 2 , which stars jackie chan as an adult fei-hong , iron monkey finds a much younger fei-hong ( sze-man tsang ) and his father wong kei-ying ( yen chi dan ) thrust into the middle of iron monkey's fight against oppression . 
iron monkey succeeds as no kung fu film since drunken master 2 . at times , fighting styles , especially that of monkey himself , do devolve into the ridiculous twinkle-toed floating of films like crouching tiger , hidden dragon , director yuen wo ping eventually remembers to bring his action scenes back to earth . 
iron monkey is at its heart a hardcore , kung fu action film rather than any kind of drama a la crouching tiger . 
however , there are brief moments of profoundness shared between characters , such as those that pass between our outlaw hero and his good-hearted but misguided enemy , chief fox . 
in those moments , and in others , iron monkey manages to transcend its mindless kung fu nature to touch the hearts and minds of its audience . 
while in no way the equal of a masterpiece like drunken master 2 , iron monkey dances quite nicely to the invading kung fu tune . 
aka siunin wong fei-hung tsi titmalau . 
"
"1","after watching "" rat race "" last week , i noticed my cheeks were sore and realized that , when not laughing aloud , i had held a grin for virtually all of the film's 112 minutes . 
saturday night , i attended another sneak preview for the movie and damned if i didn't enjoy it as much the second time as the first . 
 "" rat race "" is a great goofy delight , a dandy mix of energetic performances , inspired sight gags and flat-out silliness . 
hands down , this is the most fun film of the summer . 
the movie begins with zippy retro-style opening credits that look like they were torn straight out of a '60s slapstick comedy , featuring animated photos of the cast attached to herky-jerky bodies bounding around the screen . 
then comes the setup . 
donald sinclair ( john cleese ) , the extremely rich owner of the venetian hotel and casino in las vegas , enjoys concocting unusual bets for his high rolling clients . 
to that end , he places a half dozen very special tokens in his slot machines . 
gathering together the lucky token holders , he explains , "" today you have a chance to play a game where the odds of winning are one in six . "" 
the competition is simple : each contestant gets a key that opens a locker in silver city , n . m . , containing $2 million in cash . 
there is a transmitter in every key , so that sinclair and his cronies can keep track of who is ahead . 
the race has no rules ? whichever contestant reaches the locker first gets the money . 
since it would be wrong to spoil any of the jokes , let's use the next few paragraphs to profile the racers . 
decked out in flashy , trashy clothing and sporting big hair , vera baker ( whoopi goldberg ) is in town to reunite with the daughter she gave up for adoption as a baby . 
she finds that grown-up merrill ( lanai chapman ) is erudite , conservative and more than a little bit wary of this stranger trying to jump into her life . 
thrown together , it becomes clear that both women share a fierce competitive nature . 
owen templeton ( cuba gooding jr . ) is currently the most hated man in america . 
an nfl referee , he cost gamblers all over the country enormous amounts of money by blowing a call in a high-profile game . 
after escaping from a vengeful cab driver , owen gets to new mexico by masquerading as the driver for a busload of lucy ricardo impersonators heading to a convention . 
mr . pollini ( rowan atkinson ) is a cheerful , odd little italian man on holiday in america . 
he also is narcoleptic and falls asleep at the most inopportune times . 
pollini hitches a ride with zack ( wayne knight ) , a hyper-tense ambulance driver carrying a human heart across country for a transplant operation . 
randy pear ( jon lovitz ) promised his wife beverly ( kathy najimy ) and two kids a fun-filled vacation in las vegas . 
fearful that beverly will be angry over his involvement in the race , he claims that he must travel to silver city for a job interview . 
beverly insists the family stay together , so they hop in the mini-van and tear off into the desert . 
brothers duane ( seth green ) and blaine ( vince vieluf ) cody are young , crooked and stupid . 
blaine has a speech impediment due to his poorly self-done tongue piercing , and duane is the only person who can come close to understanding him . 
the boys will stop at nothing to reach their goal . 
finally , nick shaffer ( breckin meyer ) is a no-nonsense lawyer-in-training who recruits helicopter pilot tracy faucet ( amy smart ) for the journey . 
at first glance , they seem blandly wholesome , but all that changes when tracy buzzes the home of her boyfriend shawn ( dean cain ) and spies him swimming with another woman . 
director jerry zucker ( "" airplane , "" "" ghost "" ) leaps from racer to racer , periodically returning to las vegas where sinclair and mr . grisham ( dave thomas ) , his personality-impaired right hand man , continue cooking up bizarre bets for the gamblers . 
as with any zucker production , a few jokes fall flat , but the momentum of the comedy zooms past those missteps . 
high points for me include a bit involving kathy bates as a roadside squirrel salesperson and an intricately set up gag that carries jon lovitz and family from a bizarre museum to an outdoor rally , with an utterly tasteless and screamingly funny pay-off . 
had i been part of the filmmaking team , i would have ditched a joke where a key is dropped into a baby's clothes and instead had the key get lost in the cleavage of a dozing society matron . 
it would have drawn the same laugh without the squirm-inducing hint of child molestation . 
i also would have selected a different band for a concert sequence . 
my god , do we really need yet another movie with smash mouth performing "" all star ? "" 
but enough carping . 
 "" rat race "" is a riot , with terrific no-holds-barred performances from the diverse cast . 
see it , see it again and when the dvd comes out , buy it , because a movie this hilarious will surely have outtakes to die for . 
"
"1","i've noticed something lately that i've never thought of before . 
pseudo- substance - hollywood faking deep meanings in their films . 
have you ever seen a movie that you really enjoyed , then when you look back , you realize there was something missing ? 
more and more , filmmakers seem to be putting out well rehearsed , melodramatic films that evoke strong connotations of being a great film , but if you step aside and reflect on your movie going experience , you may just discover nothing more than elegantly presented fluff . 
i'm not trying to say city of angels is that bad . 
it had a lot going for it , but somewhere along the way , it faltered . 
somehow , underneath the seemingly poetic beauty of it all , there was a gigantic hole somebody covered with iridescent performances and glossy cinematography . 
the predictable ending that shattered our hopes ( even though we saw it coming ) only added to the disappointment . 
but for over an hour , city of angels is well worth the time . 
nicolas cage is seth , a guardian angel who , like hundreds ( likely thousands or even millions ) of other angels , spends eternity watching over the citizens of mortality ; humans never aware of how much celestial intervention occurs in their life . 
meg ryan , in her most subdued performance yet , plays maggie , a doctor who begins to ponder exactly who it is we're fighting against when we fight to keep someone alive . 
after losing a patient on the surgery table , these questions envelope maggie , and seth , the angel who was there to oversee the patient's transition into the afterlife , is immediately captivated by the doctor . 
he begins following and observing maggie , falling more and more in love with her everyday . 
angels , who we quickly learn are not and never were humans , can not experience human sensations such as taste and touch , but they do have the ability to make themselves seen to anyone they desire . 
seth's adoration is too much to resist , and eventually he does appear to maggie , quite regularly , although such a thing seems taboo among the angelic community . 
the angels are interestingly presented , all of them dressed in black and more reminiscent of hitmen than traditional glowing white entities , but it's a nice touch that never seems like a mere attempt at uniqueness . 
cage is a wonderfully versatile actor ( think face/off , raising arizona , and it could happen to you - what a combo ! ) who slips into the role of a heavenly agent quite nicely but threatens sappiness more than once . 
it's nice to see ryan pick up roles like this and the one in courage under fire . 
the two aren't very comparable to each other , but they both deviate from her usual "" intelligently ditzy "" romantic comedy roles , and it's an impressive side of ryan movie goers rarely have the chance to enjoy . 
but even though the two leads do an impressive job , it is dennis franz who grabs us with his interpretation of a hospital patient who knows more than meets the eye . 
it's a shame that with so much going for it , city of angels falters so much in its final stages , leaving us with the realization that an emotionally incredible movie was out there , they just didn't know quite how to get to it . 
they struggle for an impacting conclusion and wind up with painful thud rather than an exhilarating high . 
filmmakers should know your final impression will be the one you linger on , remember , and convey to others thru word of mouth , so after telling us for 60+ minutes that this film is a glorious masterpiece , they sure leave us with a disheartening taste of mediocrity in our mouths . 
based on the german film wings of desire ( that being the english title , of course ) , city of angels is ninety percent success , enough to make most people forgive its shortcomings , even the devastatingly disappointing ending . 
most movie goers , the non-cynics anyway , will be too wrapped up in the surreal atmosphere to give criticism to that which needs to be criticized . 
nonetheless , city of angels is beautifully captivating , which is probably enough to satisfy those poetic viewers who will appreciate a delve into rich emotional territories . 
"
"1","synopsis : bobby garfield ( yelchin ) lives in a small town with his mirthless widowed mother ( hope davis ) . 
bobby's world revolves around his friends , especially the spritely carol ( boorem ) . 
then one day , a new boarder arrives at bobby's house . 
ted brautigan ( hopkins ) is an enigmatic man to whom bobby takes an immediate liking . 
as the bond between bobby and ted deepens , bobby becomes privy to ted's great secret , an event which will change both of their lives forever . 
review : a small but enchanting movie , "" hearts in atlantis "" easily recalls another king-inspired coming-of-age film , "" stand by me "" , both in terms of its setting and the sentiment it conveys . 
 "" hearts "" is a tribute to the magic of childhood , to those summers when the days seem neverending , and nothing means more than your closest friends . 
unlike "" stand by me "" , there is a supernatural element to "" hearts "" , but although it is key to the plot , it is not prominent . 
like "" stand by me "" , this is a mostly character-driven film , and as such it benefits greatly from superb casting . 
yelchin is very good as bobby , finding a good mix of innocence and resignation . 
more splendid still is boorem , whom i praised highly for her work in "" along came a spider "" and who is simply radiant here as carol . 
and then there is hopkins , who despite playing such a quiet , introspective character as ted , nonetheless commands our attention every time he is onscreen . 
less successful is davis , whose strident elizabeth comes across as overly cartoonish . 
i also found it odd that bobby and carol's other friend , sully ( whose death as an adult sets up the movie's flashback framing device ) , is paid virtually no attention . 
but hicks' direction is lovely without being cloying , and despite the movie's general lack of incident , it never ceases to weave its spell over the audience . 
"
"1","synopsis : in this movie , steven spielberg , one of today's finest directors , attempts to spice up the 1800s story of a long courtroom battle over the fate of prisoner cinque ( djimon hounsou ) - - a young angry man from sierra leone who was kidnapped into slavery - - and his fellow prisoners . 
cinque and friends have landed a ship on the shores of america after escaping spanish slave traders , but since the americans don't speak cinque's language , the black men are hauled into court to determine whether or not they are legally slaves . 
technically , since the international slave trade was outlawed at that time , people like cinque couldn't be kidnapped into slavery ; one had to be born a slave to be legally considered a slave . 
lawyers baldwin and adams ( matthew mcconaughey and anthony hopkins ) must prove cinque and the others were captured into slavery , rather than born slaves , in order to get them out of prison as free men . 
three lengthy court cases are portrayed with spielberg's trademark panache - - flashy beginning , lots of facial close-ups , big music , and dramatic imagery . 
a final speech by adams is followed by an anticlimax where subtitles show what eventually happened to the various characters . 
opinion : making a fictional movie is easier than making one about real life . 
in fiction , one invents purposeful , clear-cut good guys and bad guys , puts the fictional characters in conflict , and takes the tale to its exciting conclusion . 
real life , however , consists of long stretches of boredom with a few dramatic moments and characters who stand around , think thoughts and do nothing , or come and go before events are resolved . 
spielberg gives us a visually spicy and historically accurate real life story . 
djimon hounsou and anthony hopkins turn in excellent performances . 
"
"1","the police negotiator is the person with the entirely unenviable job of going into ground zero and attempting to talk a dangerous criminal out of doing whatever he or she intends to do . 
lives are often at stake , and the criminal is usually armed and most likely mentally unstable , prone to turn on the negotiator at a moment's notice . 
the negotiator must therefore be something of an actor , psychologist , and sham artist , in addition to being a police officer ; he must be able to think on his feet and either work toward the goal of ending the confrontation without violence , or failing that , must be prepared to facilitate the conclusion of the crisis through firepower . 
most of all , the negotiator must be able to enter a situation with as little intelligence about the scenario as possible , and quickly gain control of the situation , dominate the conversation , and influence the perpetrator into thinking that the end of the conflict is what he really wants . 
it takes a pretty smart person to do that . 
but what if the hostage-holding criminal is just as smart ? 
what if he's also able to think on his feet ? 
in fact , what if he also knows all the tricks to turning the situation to his favor ? 
it is this circumstance which forms the basis for f . gary gray's the negotiator . 
in this film , police negotiator danny roman ( samuel l . jackson ) is tipped off by his partner to corruption within the chicago police force . 
when his partner turns up shot to death and internal affairs finds incriminating evidence in roman's home , roman becomes the prime suspect of both embezzling from the police disability fund and murder . 
faced with the scorn of most of the police department , and under close scrutiny by the media , roman is forced to turn in his badge in one of those typical scenes in the captain's office . 
i don't quite remember if the captain actually said , "" i hate to do this , but . . . "" , 
although it wouldn't surprise me if he did . 
luckily , the film soon shakes off the conventionalism and concentrates on the interesting premise mentioned above . 
after being offered a take-it-or-leave-it deal by the district attorney , roman resolves to prove his innocence by walking into the office of internal affairs inspector niebaum ( j . t . 
walsh ) , taking him and others hostage , and proclaiming he has been framed . 
although roman's actions seem forced due to the compressed nature of his motivational build-up , gray redeems himself by involving us with the negotiations between roman and fellow police negotiator chris sabian ( kevin spacey ) which soon ensue . 
jackson , while a superb actor , is miscast in the role of roman . 
the actor has become so popular , and so often identified as a protagonist ( notable exceptions can be found , such as in jackie brown ) , that we as an audience have a difficult time believing he will carry out his threats . 
the script also clearly sets him up as the good guy who is only trying to prove his innocence . 
how can we believe he's going to shoot a hostage , no matter if the hostage tried to kill him earlier ? 
unfortunately , this preconception saps the film of some of it's would-be suspenseful moments , and anything good left in those scenes is largely attributed to jackson's acting ability . 
almost every time he's in a scene , jackson steals it without looking back . 
when spacey appears , the film has already run about a third of its course . 
his is an interesting character . 
made out to be some kind of negotiating superman , our first look at him has him hopelessly trying to get his family moving to set out on vacation . 
 "" i can talk a man out of blowing up the sears tower , but i can't talk my wife out of the bedroom or my daughter off the phone , "" he says . 
when he gets the call to action , however , he quickly changes gears and becomes the man we expect him to be . 
soon , his character has to negotiate not only with roman , but also with the swat commander ( david morse ) who is itching to send in a team to take roman out , all the while keeping wary of the fbi agents who are waiting to take over the operation , should negotiations fail . 
this complex set of pressures are reflected well in sabian the negotiator and spacey the actor . 
as the second protagonist , spacey measures up nicely . 
gray really lucked out with this cast . 
david morse as commander beck , ron rifkin as commander frost , and john spencer as police chief al travis are all more than competent , and can hold their own in scenes with jackson and spacey . 
the only problem is the bit of typecasting that results from these choices : morse played a similar role in the rock , rifkin played the d . a . 
in l . a . confidential , and spencer played a police detective in cop land . 
with the level of acting , however , this can be forgiven . 
also in the supporting cast , paul giamatti as rudy , one of the hostages , is notable for the comic relief he provides . 
his character is initially so slimy , and giamatti himself just looks so shifty , that you expect to laugh before he even says anything . 
fortunately , this doesn't distract from the seriousness of the rest of the film , but instead provides some nice breathers from the level of tension which gray manages to sustain throughout . 
j . t . walsh , as the suspicious internal affairs inspector , clocks in with one of his final performances . 
sadly , the talented but underrated actor passed away in late february of this year , and the soon to be released pleasantville will mark his last film . 
walsh appeared in dozens of movies such as good morning vietnam , backdraft , and nixon . 
for one of his best performances , check out sling blade , in which he plays a mental patient sharing a ward with billy bob thornton . 
when jack nicholson accepted his best actor oscar in march , walsh was one of the men to whom he credited his success ( the actors performed together in a few good men ) . 
the negotiator is actually dedicated to walsh , and while inspector niebaum may not have been his best role , it certainly characterizes the type of character for which walsh had become most famous for playing . 
in the end , the negotiator has a plotline that parallels it's reality . 
we're served with the premise that two equally deft negotiators are battling each other to resolve the conflict in the manner which will suit each of them best . 
as an audience , we're also given a situation where two wonderfully talented actors are thrown into a movie , and we'd like to see if one will dominate the film . 
both provide some pretty good entertainment . 
"
"1","plot : a young man who loves heavy metal music and especially the band steel dragon , to whom he's devoted a tribute band in which he sings , gets launched into stardom when the real group get rid of their lead singer and call on him to take his place . 
critique : i'm a sucker for movies like this . 
a young man with a humble background and lofty dreams , works hard , devotes the time , the energy and the patience , and ultimately hits it big-time . 
in the case of this film , our boy loves a certain heavy metal band and as luck would have it ( yup , luck always finds its way into these types of equations , although generally tied very closely to hard work ) , they need a new singer . 
his entry and adaptation to the whole "" rock 'n roll "" lifestyle fills the rest of the film and is really fun to watch . 
although i will preface this by saying that one thing that would definitely enhance your appreciation for this film is your own love ( or past love ) of heavy metal music and the whole scene around it . 
metal was one of my first loves as a teen and even though the genre of music isn't that prominent anymore , i still check out my motley crue , twisted sister and anthrax cds every now and again . 
that's not to say that you won't like this film if you don't like the music , but the music and live performances from the band , play a big part in the movie , and i for one , had a blast watching and listening to it all . 
but the even greater draw in this film is the standout performance given here by mark wahlberg . 
wow , hand this fella some major props , as he totally becomes this heavy metal geek/god ( incidentally , metal god was the film's original title , and a much better one if you ask me ) . 
he is this movie and i was quite taken by his character pretty much the whole way through . 
he came off like a regular guy with extremely passionate goals and work ethic , who was willing to do anything in order to fulfill his dreams . 
aniston was also surprisingly good as the girlfriend ( and the romance angle between them was sweet ) , but she didn't pull me in hard enough during their emotional scenes . 
i was also impressed by some of the "" real "" musicians who played in the film ( zakk wylde from ozzy osbourne , jeff pilson from dokken , stephan jenkins from third eye blind , blas elias from slaughter ) , but actor dominic west as kirk cuddy made the biggest impression among the band members . 
it's to note that this film was based on a real-life tale of a young man who used to sing in a judas priest cover band and then went on to become their actual singer ( their original singer also admitted to being gay , as in this film ) . 
just for the record , i'm certainly not recommending this film for its originality or surprise elements , since most of this stuff has already been covered in some way or another in other movies , but because it's a fun , uplifting , well-paced movie with a solid central showing by wahlberg and energetic live performances . 
oh yeah , and for those who dig the "" heavier "" side of music , the soundtrack also rocks ! ! 
you see . . . dreams 
can come true . . . 
where's joblo coming from ? 
almost famous ( 8/10 ) - blow ( 8/10 ) - boogie nights ( 9/10 ) - detroit rock city ( 8/10 ) - girlfight ( 6/10 ) - goodfellas ( 10/10 ) 
"
"1","carry on matron is the last great carry-on film in my opinion . 
made in 1972 , it still features most of the regulars of this genre . 
sid james plays the head of a gang of crooks intent on stealing contraceptive pills from the local maternity hospital and selling them off to make a profit , kenneth williams is sir bernard cutting , head of the hospital but also a hypochondriac , hattie jacques re-takes her role as matron , and charles hawtrey is the psychiatrist dr . goode . 
the jokes come in fast and so do the laughs , with humorous antics between the matron and sir bernard . 
this time , williams is after matron ( jacques ) when he needs to prove himself that he is a man after visiting dr . goode . 
the doctor ( hawtrey ) is sworn to secrecy : - "" i assure you , that anything you say to me today will go in one ear and straight out of the other ! "" 
bernard thinks he is having a sex change and needs to prove himself . 
there are great cameos from joan sims , an expectant mother who is many weeks overdue and is eating constantly in every scene , and from kenneth connor as the expectant father who still thinks he's at work ( at the railway station ) . 
sid james' gang including cyril his son ( kenneth cope ) try to find out where the pills are by getting cyril to dress up as a nurse and live in at the nurses home . 
he has to share a room with nurse ball ( barbara windsor ) and she soon sees through him ! 
the film ends with the attempted robbery of the hospital's pills with panic ensuing . 
there are good performances by hattie jacques as the matron , however her character seems a little more subdued and quieter than her previous 'matron's' . 
williams is , as usual , on top form , but sid james isn't given a very good part in this movie and i would forgive anyone to forget that he was in the movie at all . 
the same does not go for charles hawtrey , for although he only first appears in the movie after 30 minutes gone and has scarce screen time , he seems to steal every scene he is in . 
by not making use of sid james and barbara windsor's talent to full effect , the film seems to flounder , but it certainly makes up for it with it's good storyline and it's other appealing characters . 
this film is genuinely funny and i could watch it again and again and not get bored ! 
"
"1","the ultimate match up between good and evil , "" the untouchables "" is an excellent movie because it looks deeper into an already examined rivalry . 
based on the 1959 television show of the same title , "" the untouchables "" may be an exaggeration of the real life events that took place , but it fits together perfectly with some beautifully filmed action sequences , some excellent acting , a memorable score , and a clever script . 
the film takes place in chicago during the prohibition era where mobsters led by the ruthless al capone run an underground market of liquor to the demanding public . 
elliot ness and a small force of men known as the untouchables attempt the impossible by trying to stop capone and trying to maintain peace and order . 
however , as ness soon learns , in order to stabilize peace , you have to bend a few laws . 
the fact that capone is evil is very apparent from the first few scenes . 
the film begins with capone , played perfectly by deniro , declaring that he is not a violent man and he is a firm believer in following all laws . 
the film then quickly transfers to the next scene in which one of capone's men bombs a restaurant that contains many innocent people including a little girl . 
from this point we know capone is evil , not only because he kills without hesitation , but also because he is a lying bastard . 
right from the first five minutes of the film , de palma has created a hatred towards capone and he shows that this man must be brought down at all costs . 
this developed hatred is before the film's hero , ness , is even introduced . 
i found this approach to be very clever because in a small duration of time there is a great amount of admiration for ness and an equal amount of hatred for capone . 
the film only gets better from this point . 
with the formation of the untouchables , there is a group of men wearing long , dark overcoats and hats . 
they walk in unison and they only look forward . 
as they walk down the streets they are observed and feared by citizens . 
holding shot guns and pistols in their hands to stop criminals , this image of vigilantes must have influenced future films . 
one that comes to mind is "" the matrix "" when neo , morpheus , trinity , and the rest of the gang first come into the virtual world . 
wearing more futuristic outfits of the same 1930's style , the similarities between these two are countless . 
 "" the untouchables "" has some of the hippest , bravest heroes in any action film . 
the four members were the only ones willing to go against capone's army . 
each member of this special group also had their own characteristics that separated them from others . 
elliot ness , played with perfect ingenuity by kevin costner , is a character that surely grows during the course of the film . 
he begins as a man who is determined to follow all laws no matter how unfair they may be . 
however , as the film develops so does ness . 
his beliefs involving the law are shattered when he realizes that those he trusted are actually members of the other side . 
he also begins to lose his stability when his adversaries begin to murder his friends . 
his anger becomes so thunderous that he can no longer hold it in . 
sean connery , who won an academy award for best supporting actor in his role , plays malone , an aging cop who decides to make one final run as a member of the untouchables . 
malone acts as a mentor to ness . 
he teaches him "" the chicago way "" to do things ; when they attack with a knife , you attack with a gun . 
connery plays his character with the exact amount of wit and experience needed . 
andy garcia does a wonderful job as george stone , a young man who is just becoming a police officer . 
as ness grows , he begins to teach stone some valuable lessons that malone once taught him . 
charles martin smith is also fantastic as the final member who attempts to use an income tax offense against capone . 
smith is perfect for his role as he adds some valuable comic relief to the film . 
the action scenes are also some of the most beautifully choreographed i have ever seen . 
also very similar to "" the matrix , "" they are exciting and intense . 
>from a western-like battle to the famous confrontation at the train station steps , the scenes are well thought out and well executed . 
the score during these scenes ingeniously adds to the excitement . 
its pounding drum beats act as a rhythm for the actors . 
the combination of image and music is very impressive and also very effective . 
although the real life untouchables may have been excessively glorified , this film is pure entertainment and contains a unique blend of great acting , great directing , and great action . 
some scenes ( capone and the baseball bat , the train station ) have stuck in my mind for years and seeing them again will only make them more vivid . 
"
"1","having not seen , "" who framed roger rabbit "" in over 10 years , and not remembering much besides that i liked it then , i decided to rent it recently . 
watching it i was struck by just how brilliant a film it is . 
aside from the fact that it's a milestone in animation in movies ( it's the first film to combine real actors and cartoon characters , have them interact , and make it convincingly real ) and a great entertainment it's also quite an effective comedy/mystery . 
while the plot may be somewhat familiar the characters are original , especially baby herman , and watching them together is a lot of fun . 
the story begins in hollywood in 1947 . 
cartoon star roger rabbit is blowing takes and having trouble keeping his mind on work , so hard-boiled private detective eddie valiant ( bob hoskins ) is called in by studio head r . k . 
maroon ( alan tilvern ) to try to help get roger's mind back on work . 
maroon thinks that roger's wife , jessica's , possible unfaithfulness to him might be the cause of distraction and tells eddie to get some photos of her in the act before it costs him any more money in reshoots . 
valiant takes some photos of jessica playing , `patty cake' with marvin acme ( stubby kaye ) , the owner of toontown ( where all of the cartoon characters live ) and takes them to maroon . 
upon seeing them , roger is emotionally destroyed and soon after acme is found dead and roger rabbit is the prime suspect . 
the rest of the movie follows valiant and roger as they run around town ( and eventually toontown ) trying to clear roger's good name . 
along the way they meet judge doom ( christopher lloyd ) a judge-jury-and executioner type who's out to get roger and has discovered the one and only way to kill a `toon . ' 
`who framed roger rabbit' won 4 academy awards including a special achievement award for richard williams for animation direction and creation of the cartoon characters ( williams and his teams went through the film frame by frame and hand drew the cartoon characters in ) . 
director robert zemekis must be given an equal amount of praise for overseeing the entire production , which included hundreds of animators . 
also bob hoskins' performance should be credited . 
he , in addition to the rest of the human cast , finds the right note to play in all of the scenes with his cartoon co-stars . 
according to the internet movie database , hoskins studied his young daughter to learn how to act with imaginary characters and i guess his hard work paid off . 
`who framed roger rabbit' is a rare film . 
one that not only presented a great challenge to the filmmakers but one that can be enjoyed by the whole family ( although some very young viewers may be a little scared by judge doom ) . 
do yourself a favor and rent it , `p-p-p-p-please . "" 
"
"1","there's something about ben stiller that makes him a popular choice among casting directors these days . 
stiller currently has three projects in circulation , and what other actor can lay claim to that ? 
he's in "" there's something about mary , "" which i * still * haven't seen . 
and he's in the acerbic "" your friends & neighbors , "" playing a talkative , sexually-frustrated drama coach called jerri . 
now there's "" permanent midnight , "" in which stiller plays another jerry , this one a heroin-addicted television writer , last name stahl . 
there's also something about this industry that pushes bankable stars like stiller into doing drug-addiction pictures the minute they've proved themselves commercially . 
ewan mcgregor springs to mind who , after successful turns in "" emma "" and "" brassed off , "" received greater respect and admiration for his mind-blowing realization as renton in danny boyle's transatlantic junk-fest , "" trainspotting . "" 
the philosophy appears to be a simple one : if you want 'em to be taken seriously , make 'em do drugs . 
 "" permanent midnight "" is based on the true life experiences of jerry stahl , a successful hollywood writer who , in the mid-eighties , had a $5 , 000-a-week job churning out plotlines for disposable tv sitcoms and a $6 , 000-a-week heroin habit . 
a habit , in stahl's own words , "" the size of utah . "" 
as stahl , stiller contributes a commanding performance . 
unlike "" trainspotting , "" which was successful in having it both ways by chronicling both the highs and the lows of heroin abuse , "" permanent midnight "" instead focuses on the concept of drug addiction as maintenance . 
one of the earliest observations in the film is a casual reference to "" naked lunch "" author william s . burroughs who , when asked why he shoots up first thing in the morning responds , "" so i can shave . "" 
stahl rarely appears to be puncturing veins for the thrill of it all in "" permanent midnight "" ; it's so he can talk to his mother on the phone , show up for work on time , even pay his bills . 
while the film itself occasionally wobbles around along with stahl , the writing ( adapted from stahl's autobiography by director david veloz ) is controlled and pointed . 
 "" permanent midnight "" shows how stahl moved from new york to l . a . to--again in the author's words-- "" escape the drug scene "" ( yeah , right ) ; why he entered into a convenient marriage with a british tv exec ( elizabeth hurley , so impossibly polite you'd swear her single profanity was dubbed ) ; and that he conceived a child in between his random hirings and firings . 
stahl narrates all this in a motel bedroom to a sympathetic lover called kitty ( norristown's own maria bello ) with whom he spent some rehab time . 
janeane garofalo is wasted--and miscast--as a heavily-bespectacled hollywood talent agent who fails to get her hooks into the doped-up wordsmith , and that's stahl himself playing a jaded clinic counselor . 
stiller , unshaven ( burroughs take note ) and with lots of mascara around the eyes , has stahl stumble through the film looking like a train wreck but , to his credit , never once pushes his pill-popping , needle-jabbing performance over the top . 
the ubiquitous stiller is the reason to see "" permanent midnight "" ; a dark , comic , and strangely absorbing study of assisted living . 
"
"1","by phil curtolo mel gibson ( braveheart ) gave a gripping performance as the father of a young kidnapped boy in ron howard's ransom . 
gibson plays tom mullen , a wealthy business tycoon whose past actions are coming back to haunt him as a deranged psychopath , played by gary sinise ( forrest gump ) , and his band of low-life thugs kidnap his only son for $2 million . 
tom and his wife , kate , played by rene russo ( tin cup ) were instructed not to inform the police , but they contacted the fbi . 
minutes later , an elite team of agents led by delroy lindo ( broken arrow ) are in tom's house and wiring every phone . 
the plot sounds average , just like most other kidnap movies that you've already seen , and it was nothing more than that . 
that is until about half-way through the movie . 
suddenly , tom goes to the fox 5 news room and makes a live broadcast saying , "" this is your ransom . 
but this is as close as you will ever get to it . 
instead , i am offering this money as a reward on your head , dead or alive . "" 
at this point , the plot thickened , and the unusually slow start of the film turned into a suspense-filled action film with great stunts . 
the last half of the film is very well done . 
another thing that carries this film are the superb performances by gibson and sinise , as they collide in a game of wits over their cellular phones for most of the movie . 
owen gleiberman of entertainment weekly commented on the subject : "" it makes you wonder what kidnappers did before cell phones . "" 
before this movie , sinise played mostly "" good guys , "" first in of mice & men , then in forrest gump , and most recently , in apollo 13 . 
but he was surprisingly devilish and cold in his portrayal of a cop-gone-bad . 
gibson , of course , was just being gibson , in an oscar-worthy performance . 
although most of the scenes were quite predictable , ransom is a very entertaining and suspenseful film . 
 , 
"
"1","one can not observe a star trek movie and expect to see serious science fiction . 
the purpose of star trek is to provide flashy , innocent fun . 
sometimes the stories are compelling . 
sometimes they're not . 
but , with the exception of the first film in the series ( which provides little more than endless shots of amazed faces ) , i've never been bored by any of the enterprise's numerous missions . 
star trek : insurrection is no exception . 
the film has gotten some negative reviews ( a friend of mine actually thinks it's the worst in the series ) , but i'm not really sure why . 
it's an exciting , often hilarious movie that engaged me and left me ready for the next star trek film . 
some say it's a bit too light , and more of a long episode than a film . 
others say the special effects are cheesy and that it's boring . 
i simply enjoyed the film . 
insurrection , which is the second film to feature strictly the next generation cast , introduces us to a race of people called the ba'ku ; the ba'ku are very old ( most of them are about three hundred years old ) , but they actually appear younger with age due to strange radiation in the rings of their planet . 
of course , these peaceful people can't horde this fountain of youth all for themselves ? leave it up to their archenemies , the son'a , led by ru'afo ( f . 
murray abraham ) , to mess everything up . 
the son'a , who are horribly disfigured and rely on daily reconstructive surgery to be aesthetically acceptable , strike a deal with the federation to move the ba'ku elsewhere and exploit the secret to keep their race from dying . 
that's when captain picard ( patrick stewart ) steps in : he realizes that moving the ba'ku would kill them ( it also helps that he falls in love with a ba'ku woman ( donna murphy ) ) . 
so , with his trusty crew , picard defies the federation to keep the ba'ku in their natural habitat . 
when dealing with a series with as much history as this , it's not entirely necessary to re-introduce your characters with each episode . 
this is why i believe non-fans have a hard time getting into star trek ; in order to enjoy it , one has to understand how to approach it . 
insurrection , however , does a surprisingly good job of us new aspects of the characters . 
stewart is bold as always , a magnetic screen presence and perfectly capable of holding an entire film together . 
jonathan frakes , who also directed , is funny as commander riker ; a subplot with data ( brent spiner ) discovering his lost childhood is fairly interesting ; and abraham makes a perfect star trek villain , overacting like crazy . 
frakes showed similar aptitude for direction in first contact ; insurrection is an exciting film , with some really attractive special effects and a lot of good action . 
this is apparently the first star trek film to utilize computer animation , and the result is very pleasing to the eye : particularly in the climactic scenes , in which the son'a employ a giant space ship to suck up the rings of the ba'ku planet , the special effects have a clean , impressively sharp look . 
if i have any complaint about the film , it's that it tries to take a moral stance when it's not very appropriate to do so . 
i don't think it's that big of a deal that the federation wanted to move 600 ba'ku in order to save the lives of thousands . 
better yet , why couldn't they have co-existed ? 
insurrection feels a little to light to spring these kinds of big moral questions on the audience . 
with it's inherent camp factor , the star trek series doesn't seem well-equipped to deal with issues like this . 
i prefer to just enjoy the spectacle . 
"
"1","a fully loaded entertainment review - website coming in july ! 
>from ace ventura to truman burbank , jim carrey has run the whole gamut of comic , yet sympathetic , characters . 
1996's the cable guy was supposed to be his big "" breakthrough "" role from zany humor into darker , more dramatic acting . 
as most everyone knows , the results were , well , less-than-stellar . 
not only did the film not do so hot at the box office , but it was also panned by critics . 
as far as i know , gene siskel and i are the only ones willing to admit that we dug it . 
the first time i saw the cable guy , in theatres , i was in super critic-mode , and didn't really like it . 
however , due to the fact that hbo shows the movie every single day , i've had time to lean back , relax , and take in the film . 
and to my surprise , it grew on me . 
the plot is rather simple : broderick plays a guy named steven who befriends his cable guy , played by carrey , then is stalked by him when steven tries to break off the relationship . 
see , steven's been having some problems with his girlfriend , robin ( leslie mann ) , and he doesn't think he has any more room in his life for a new friend . 
also , some of the cable guy's antics have been creeping him out . 
carrey , as the cable guy , gives steven various aliases , which later we find out are all tv characters : larry tate , chip douglas , ricky ricardo , etc . he apparently lives in his cable van , and while many critics didn't enjoy this newer , darker , less-manic performance from carrey , i thought it was interesting and rather well-done . 
for me , its not the movie as a whole that's enjoyable , but rather several individual scenes : a karaoke jam at steven's apartment , a medieval fight at a theme restaurant , and a bathroom beating ( a la liar , liar ) , just to name a few . 
perhaps the fact that more of carrey's humorous side comes out during these scenes is what makes them so funny . 
and if you really want to see something , you've got to hear his version of jefferson airplane's "" somebody to love "" , sung at the aformentioned karaoke jam . 
the cable guy has its bad spots , like most any movie . 
i didn't particularly like steven's girlfriend , and i felt that more focus should have been used on the relationship between steven and his best friend . 
also , the ending , while having you fooled for a moment , is rather contrived , and somewhat dissapointing . 
still , i found the cable guy to be a worthwhile venture ; if you're at the video store and can't think of anything to rent , i suggest you try it out . 
or if you have hbo , just wait till it comes on ( you won't have to wait long . ) 
hell , that's what i do every day . 
"
"1","when bulworth ended , i allowed myself a sigh of relief : ? it is possible for me to enjoy political satire . ? 
there have been several recent political films that didn't do a whole lot for me -- wag the dog , for instance , i found to be an intelligent but heartless film , while primary colors is unbearable and unwatchable in its awfulness . ? 
bulworth is a far better film than these , both in its execution and lasting impression . ? 
it's a tremendously funny and intelligent picture , but it also has an emotional center -- writer/director/star warren beatty allows the audience to identify with his character , and , in turn , we like him and actually care about the story . 
 ? 
beatty plays incumbent democratic senator jay billington bulworth ; the film opens and we see bulworth sobbing as he watches his television spots over and over again . ? 
he hasn't slept in days , nor has he eaten , and , almost instantaneously , he goes insane . 
 ? he's not stark raving mad ( not outright , anyway ) , but he's definitely bonkers . 
 ? it's the final weekend of his campaign , and his assistant , murphy ( oliver platt ) has written him a speech to feed to a group of black people in a church in the ghetto . 
 ? bulworth begins the speech , but suddenly goes off track and just starts being honest . ? 
 "" you mean , "" one lady asks , "" the democratic party doesn't care about the african american community ? "" ? 
 "" well , "" he shouts , laughing , "" isn't that obvious ? "" 
the story is propelled by a device in which bulworth puts out a contract on his own life ( he muses later that it's a bad thing to make decisions when you're suicidal ) ; he keeps seeing a man in sunglasses ( graham beckel ) whom he believes to be the hitman . 
 ? bulworth also meets nina ( halle berry ) with whom he becomes infatuated . 
 ? suddenly , in the short span of this weekend , bulworth's no-nonsense "" truth in politics "" methods become a national sensation , and he shoots ahead in the polls despite the fact that he's appearing on television wearing gang clothes and spewing more profanity than coherent sentences . 
beatty's work on both sides of the camera is excellent . ? 
his script and direction are both extremely sharp , as is the surprisingly strong characterization of bulworth himself . ? 
here is a man who's reached his limit , and his way of lashing back is by screwing over the entire political structure . ? 
i like that the film doesn't take a clear shot at any of the political parties or affiliations , but at politics in general and how everything is run by the rich ( although the anti-rich sentiments do get a bit tiresome by the end of the film ) . ? 
some of the segments are simply hilarious , such as a lengthy rap that he delivers at a luncheon dedicated to him . ? 
much of the film is completely absurd , but that's the fun part about it . ? 
it's an angry , serious film at the core , but the package that beatty has created is so much more accessible than recent attempts in the genre . ? 
what adds to this feeling is beatty's portrayal of bulworth ; this is a performance that deserves recognition on a higher scale . 
 ? beatty is so much fun to watch here -- he's always funny , but he's also subtle in ways that flesh out his character without dialogue or hugely noticeable actions . 
 ? beatty is so good that bulworth , despite his shortcomings as a human being , is an entirely sympathetic and likable character almost from the beginning . 
the supporting cast is vast and colorful . ? 
berry is luminous , as always , and adds to her repertoire of solid supporting roles . ? 
don cheadle has a good role as a drug dealer who uses gun-toting toddlers to do his dirty work . ? 
oliver platt is an actor who should be careful , for someday i fear he may induce a heart attack with the intensity of his acting ( though he's very funny to watch ) . ? paul sorvino adds the southern accent to his list of mastered inflections . 
is bulworth offensive ? ? 
i suppose some may see it that way . ? 
i wasn't offended by the film , but then again , i hardly care about politics . ? 
i think that people who find this film offensive will just be blindsided by the honesty of the story . ? 
the film isn't perfect , of course -- the ending didn't quite work for me , and the a few of the scenes between bulworth and nina feel forced ( although the eclectic dance sequence is fantastic ) . ? 
but these are minor quibbles about an otherwise brilliant film . ? 
bulworth is a smart , uproariously funny picture that proves to me that political satire can scratch far deeper than the surface . ? 
"
"1","call 911 for the cliche police if you must , but the eyes are the window to the soul . 
the finest actors working in films are those who can command the screen with a gaze : paul newman , ralph fiennes , anthony hopkins , morgan freeman . 
you look at these men on screen and you can tell without them saying a word that there is something going on in their minds , that the characters they play are real human beings . 
we will never have a chance to discover if tupac shakur could have been a great actor , but he had that unique quality in his eyes . 
in gridlock'd , an oddly effective combination of gritty drama and social satire , shakur and his co-star tim roth take sketchy characters and make them exciting to watch through the pure energy of their talent and chemistry . 
shakur and roth play ezekiel "" spoon "" whitmore and alexander "" stretch "" rome , two detroit buddies who share a spoken word/jazz trio , an apartment and a drug addiction with cookie ( thandie newton ) . 
when a new year's eve party ends with cookie comatose after a drug overdose , spoon and stretch begin to wonder if they are living on borrowed time . 
they soon make a new year's resolution to get into rehab , but that proves to be easier said than done . 
as though the temptation to fix were not hindrance enough , spoon and stretch also find their attempts to get clean hitting a road block of bureaucracy , confusion and red tape . 
the government might be the least of their obstacles , however , as they find themselves suspects in the murder of a drug dealer , and on the run from a nasty thug ( vondie curtis hall ) . 
in order for you to buy into gridlock'd at all , you have to accept it as a surreal odyssey rather than as urban realism ; unless spoon and stretch sleep through an entire day at the hospital after bringing in cookie , they are going to government offices on new year's day , in which case they should be thankful they get any help at all . 
gridlock'd may actually be a response to the fatuous social commentary of another urban odyssey , 1991's falling down , which found a besieged middle class white male venting his righteous anger against the system during a trek through inner city los angeles . 
in falling down , michael douglas' d-fens ( the character's personalized license plate , echoed in gridlock'd by the drug lord d-reper's plates ) whips out a gun because he can't get breakfast at mcdonald's ; in gridlock'd , spoon and stretch are unarmed against the demands placed on them before they can get into a rehab center . 
and where the unhinged d-fens became a heroic surrogate for audiences , writer/director vondie curtis hall refuses to let spoon and stretch off the hook for their own part in the situation . 
one bureaucrat responds to a tirade from stretch with the question , "" do you expect the world to stop . . . just 
because you picked _today_ to clean up ? "" 
the world in gridlock'd is just as frustrating as the world in falling down , but the cathartic moments yield no easy answers this time . 
hall has some interesting things to say about what we expect from the system , but perhaps not enough of them . 
a significant chunk of gridlock'd is devoted to spoon and stretch's flight from d-reper and from the police , and those sub-plots serve up some thoroughly predictable moments . 
in one scene , stretch scares off d-reper by getting chummy with a police officer ; another presents that old chestnut of the two mistakenly-suspected heroes in a public place watching a television news report of the crime which shows their pictures . 
the entire sequence of events seems designed merely as an excuse to get spoon and stretch running , while the other primary plot has them standing in line or sitting down much of the time . 
hall also plays with gratuitous inserts of drug paraphernalia and flashbacks to the day before the film's main events , perhaps making a particular effort to point out the talent the characters are wasting through self-destructive behavior . 
oh , the irony of it . 
tupac shakur made a career in music and movies playing the hard case , and living the life to back it up . 
in gridlock'd , shakur gets the chance to play someone who has seen enough of the way his life could go to know that it scares him . 
spoon is an idea for a character at best as written by hall , but shakur displays an intelligence and survival instinct which struggle with his addiction . 
mostly it comes through those eyes , eyes with none of the hardness you might expect from the infamous gangsta . 
it is spoon who plays conscience to stretch's pure appetite , and roth plays stretch with a gleeful self-destructiveness ( he reveals that he is hiv positive even as he is preparing to shoot up again ) which is as much an obstacle to spoon's goal as any agency or enemy . 
gridlock'd's most cruelly comic scene finds stretch "" helping "" spoon get into an emergency room by repeatedly stabbing him with a tiny pocket knife , and it becomes an appropriate symbol for how the company he keeps has slowly drained the life out of him . 
with friends like that , spoon doesn't need enemies , and shakur looks at stretch with the tired eyes of a man who has seen too much . 
the tragedy now is that we won't get more chances to see those eyes again . 
"
"1","hilarious , ultra-low budget comedy from film school dropout kevin smith chronicles a day in the life of two convenience store slackers ( brian o'halloran and jeff anderson ) . 
they spend most of their day ignoring customers while discussing everything from fellatio to self-fulfillment . 
the premise is strictly sitcom and the photography is grainy as all get-out , but you could spend ten times the film's budget ( a reported $27 , 000 ) and still not get dialogue half as good as this . 
originally rated nc-17 for language . 
not recommended for viewers with sensitive ears . 
killing zoe =========== 
remake reservoir dogs as a french art film and you're halfway to killing zoe , writer/director roger avary's slow-moving story of a failed bastille day bank robbery . 
eric stoltz stars as an american in paris who gets in * way * over his head when hooks up with a band of nihilistic bank robbers . 
he's the safecracker who's blissful unaware that the bank job is a botch job from the word go . 
though intriguing on all fronts , the film is paced at half the speed of pulp fiction , which avary co-wrote with quentin tarantino . 
in english and french . 
the road to wellville ===================== 
based on the novel by t . coraghessan boyle , the road to wellville doesn't go very far . 
bowels , bowels , and more bowels are explored by dr . john harvey kellogg ( a buck-toothed and bespectacled anthony hopkins ) , who , in the early 1900's , advocated abstinence , vegetarianism , and frequent defecation . 
he also invented the cornflake . 
really . 
checking-in to kellogg's battle creek sanitarium are matthew broderick and bridget fonda , just two of the many well-known faces in this failed comedy . 
leave your laughter at the door and you can marvel at the unfunny antics of john cusack , michael lerner , lara flynn boyle , john neville , and dana carvey . 
the art direction is impeccable and some of the early sequences are amusing , but the novelty quickly wears off as writer/director alan parkers tries his darnedness to turn doo-doo into drama . 
what he ends up with is something that i can't print here . 
phew ! 
stargate ======== 
lawrence of arabia meets star wars . 
this epic sci-fi film is more sheer spectacle than anything else . 
director roland emmerich ( universal solider ) shamelessly rips off lucas and spielberg and just about any other cosmic cliche that he can lay his hands on . 
the film is overlong , the characters are cardboard , and the script is filled with some of the most laughable details in modern sci-fi history . 
that said , there's still plenty to watch here . 
sci-fi fans should enjoy the sculpted sands , the morphing headdresses , and a surprisingly spunky james spader . 
he plays the egyptologist who gets to prove his theory that that "" somebody else "" built the pyramids . 
less interesting are co-stars kurt russell and jaye davidson of crying game fame . 
star trek generations ===================== 
trek fans may be more forgiving , but , for the rest of us , the sluggish star trek generations is a mixed bag at best . 
the story is interesting , but each scene goes too long . 
the cast is earnest , but the direction lacks punch . 
and so on . 
 ( the best example of the latter is a klingon comeuppance that delivers none of the impact of a similar scene in star trek ii . ) 
original enterprise captain james t . kirk appears on both ends of the story , though they cut the scene where shatner turns to the screen to plead "" get a life . "" 
remarkably unremarkable . 
miracle on 34th street ====================== 
in a season of the specialist and pulp fiction et al , maybe a remake of miracle on 34th street * is * necessary . 
john hughes certainly believes in santa claus and his les mayfield-directed production does nothing to tarnish the memory of the 1947 original . 
the romance between costars dylan mcdermott and elizabeth perkins doesn't work too well , but the film makes a strong case that richard attenborough is the definitive kriss kringle . 
his chemistry with children can moisten any eye . 
no claus for alarm . 
junior ====== 
arnold schwarzenegger pregnant ? 
sure , billy crystal did it before in rabbit test , but the sight of schwarz with a bulging belly is a casting coup comparable to dustin hoffman in tootsie . 
what should be nothing more than a one-joke premise actually gets better as it goes along . 
director ivan reitman ( dave , twins ) wisely keeps the farce to a minimum , so the first hour moves slower than you might expect . 
don't expect too many yuks from danny devito , but you can't beat those early romantic scenes between emma and arnie . 
how's * that * for a collision of acting styles ? 
"
"1","for those of us who weren't yet born when the 1960's rock 'n' rolled around , monterey pop affords an affectionate glimpse of the music that influenced our parents to be hippies . 
from otis redding to jimi hendrix , janis joplin to the mamas and the papas , and jefferson airplane to the who , this documentary is jam-packed with contagious energy . 
but i give fair warning that i will reveal the ending , which does not do the rest of the film the justice it deserves . 
shot in 1969 at an outdoor concert that precluded woodstock , the film defies the stereotype of the general population at the time . 
sure , some have painted their faces and smoke joints , but d . a . 
pennebaker ( the war room , moon over broadway ) surprisingly chooses to show a broad spectrum of the audience . 
no matter who is watching , it all comes back to the talented musicians that stir your soul . 
the excitement starts before the music even begins . 
a young girl is cleaning thousands of seats and when asked why by an interviewer , she replies that she feels lucky to do so . 
there are moments of organized craziness as john phillips , leader of the mamas and the papas and one of the concert organizers , tries to get in touch with dionne warwick . 
and when one band is tuning up , a member remarks , "" finally , a decent sound system ! "" 
you can tell just by watching these first few moments that this show isn't about vanity , it's about playing the music you love to those who have an appreciation for it , a two-way street . 
this interaction between audience and performer continues throughout the film and becomes infectious to the audience . 
it's impossible to tear your eyes away from janis joplin as she belts out her ballad about love being a ball and chain . 
and while the lyrics to "" wild thing "" may not be all that complicated , watching jimi hendrix mime having sex with his guitar is as captivating as otis redding singing about love . 
even if you don't recognize every band you see on stage , you can imagine being as enthralled by their work as the public sitting in those seats . 
the only drawback to the film is the ending , which unfortunately i must reveal . 
all the other bands , big names then and still today , got approximately 7 to 10 minutes of screen time . 
in contrast , the last band on camera , a wholly forgettable one , gets an entire 18 minutes of screen time . 
for a film that's only 78 minutes long , that's too large of a chunk , especially when previous acts are much more stimulating . 
all in all , monterey pop is a precious , rare look at a time period that still holds sway over us . 
the variety of music , as well as the beautifully shot performances , are easy to become immersed in . 
if there was ever any question as to why most of these bands were so popular , this is quickly dispelled . 
it's almost depressing to think that music this moving doesn't get made much anymore . 
instead we're stuck with * nsync , the backstreet boys , and jennifer lopez , all of whom should have stuck with modeling . 
"
"1","the most common ( and in many cases the only ) complaint against francis ford coppola's 1972 masterpiece the godfather is glamorising of mafia , which is presented as an institution guided by ancient tradition and virtues like honour , loyalty and solidarity more suitable for some gentler , kinder ages . 
martin scorsese , another italoamerican moviemaker , confronted that perspective with his own , more down-to-earth vision of mafia in 1973 mean streets , movie that dealt with lower echelons of organised crime . 
unfortunately for scorsese , his film was unspectacular and too artsy to compete with coppola's influence on mafia portrayals in the movies . 
seventeen years later scorsese returned to mean streets of new york with another film that dealt with darker side of american organised crime . 
this film was goodfellas , epic black comedy which is today considered as one of the best and most influential films of 1990s . 
goodfellas owes some of its initial success and popularity to the fact that it was based on the true story , told in best-seller book wiseguy by nicholas pileggi ( who would co-write the screenplay for the film ) . 
the book , as well as the film , chronicled thirty years in the life of henry hill ( played by ray liotta ) , irish-italian criminal from new york . 
at the age of 13 he gets recruited in the criminal organisation of paulie cicero ( played by paul sorvino ) , local mob boss , and gradually climbs up the ladder starting with small errands . 
after couple of years , together with his best childhood friend tommy de vito ( played by joe pesci ) , he joins the crew of expert thieves led by jimmy conway ( played by robert de niro ) . 
three of them spend years as best friends and associates , gathering enormous wealth from their criminal enterprises that would culminate with one of the most spectacular robberies in american history . 
wealth , influence and privileges of men connected with mafia are enough for henry hill to seduce his future wife karen ( played by lorraine bracco ) , who would afterwards remain loyal to her husband despite infidelities , domestic abuse , arrests and would even be accomplice to his own private drug dealing business . 
but the perfect world of "" wiseguys "" gradually begins to fall apart - tommy's unpredictable outbursts of homicidal violence , jimmy's reluctance to share his part of the loot with partners and , finally , henry's own drug habit would lead to his downfall and make him question his loyalty to the friends . 
goodfellas is an excellent example of a film that represents work of a film genius in his full glory . 
scorsese managed to create a vision which is effective and complete despite being full of contradictions that would ripped the film apart in the hands of less talented filmmaker . 
world depicted in this film is both ordinary and fascinating . 
scorsese spares no effort to show us all the violence , hypocrisy and inherent paranoia of organised crime , yet it manages to make it both seductive and funny . 
after being exposed to two and half hours of the film and three decades of criminal history ( based on some notorious real life events ) , the audience understands why the characters chose such dangerous life paths , trading the superficial and short-lasting glamour and prosperity of a criminal to the dullness and poverty of honest citizens . 
scorsese also manages to break viewer's moralistic inhibitions by showing truly revolting material - scenes that depict personal tragedies , broken homes , human depravity , violence , bloodshed and murder - in all their uncompromising reality , but in a manner that would make it amusing and funny to the audience . 
with the use of ironic soundtrack , manipulative shots , character's dialogue or narrator's commentary , goodfellas represents the new standards of black humour that would became very popular few years later during tarantino era . 
even if we don't pay attention to skills with which potentially disturbing material becomes eye pleasing and entertaining , we should admit that scorsese displays his talents of truly original and creative filmmaker . 
first , we might notice unusual structure of the plot - relatively minor subplot is used as movie's ironic prologue . 
then , instead of single narrator , scorsese switches to the second character as narrator in the middle of the film only to switch back to the original shortly afterwards . 
this multiple points of views , both in terms of narration and various subjective shots , only lengthens the ironic distance towards characters and their situation . 
same ironic distance comes with extremely effective choice of soundtrack . 
nostalgia for good old times is illustrated with easy-listening 1950s pop songs , while depression , paranoia and bad times find their expression in more neurotic rock songs of late 1960s and 1970s . 
but the soundtrack is most effective when it is used as ironic comment - almost pastoral , easy listening tunes make strong and very ironic contrast to the scenes of violence and bloodshed . 
however , thing most associated with this film is couple of continuos shots that feature characters moving through large rooms and interacting with dozens if not hundreds of people . 
such scenes , although they require very great skill and patience during their shootings , became very popular among other directors in 1990s . 
fragmentary character of the screenplay , which doesn't have straight plot and instead bases film on series of loosely connected vignettes , gives another interesting opportunity for scorsese . 
he uses this structure of film to experiment , and most successful of such experiments is hilarious "" a day in life "" segment near the end of the film . 
another essential element of goodfellas is large but superb collection of great acting talents . 
the most respectable among them is robert de niro , but his character , who happen to be most quiet and business-like member of criminal trio , gets overshadowed by two of his friends and colleagues . 
joe pesci deserved his "" oscar "" for supporting role of homicidal psychopath tommy , and his lines , including ad-libs , probably represent the most memorable element of the film . 
ray liotta , although equally talented , perhaps doesn't look as the best choice for narrator and nominal hero of the film . 
liotta's henry hill looks somewhat too hollywoodised and glamorous among this bunch of low-level street thugs . 
liotta , on the other hand , improves general impression by very realistic and menacing portrayal of drug addiction . 
lorraine bracco is , on the other hand , very effective and believable as karen hill , wife who gradually descends into same moral cesspool as her husband . 
paul sorvino is also very effective as patriarch mafioso , and among the supporting cast most memorable is chuck low as pestering small-time gangster who unknowingly digs his own grave . 
as a combination of clever sociological study , black humour and innovative filmmaking goodfellas became something only the truly great films could do - work of art and excellent popular entertainment in the same time . 
because of this achievement , and also because of the great influence on future filmmakers , this cinematic gem deserves its rightful place among the best films of 1990s . 
"
"1"," "" the blair witch project "" was perhaps one of a kind , a unique film that played completely on its own merit , managing to scare even the most experienced horror fans out of their senses . 
its success made a sequel inevitable , but this is not the sequel , i suspect , anyone much wanted . 
after the release of "" the blair witch project "" , tourists have practically invaded the small town of burkettsville , in order to get a glimpse of the blair witch . 
locals have turned this mass hysteria into a great business opportunity , selling twig-sculptures , stones and dirt like those in the movie , and the exasperated local sheriff patrols the woods with a bullhorn , shouting , "" get out of these woods and go home ! 
there is no goddamned blair witch ! "" . 
jeff ( ) is one of those people , who has used the sudden popularity of the small town to his advantage . 
after he got released from the mental institution , he created a mobile business that attracts thousands of customers through the internet . 
as the movie starts he is leading one of these groups into the woods , on the "" blair witch hunt "" . 
among the five strangers is stephen and his girlfriend , the pregnant tristen , who are writing a book on the hysteria caused by the film called "" the blair witch : history or hysteria ? "" , and kim , who dresses in black and has some psychic powers . 
the last member of the crew is erica , a young beautiful witch-wannabe , who constantly quotes from the wiccan lore , saying "" the first rule of wicca is , do no harm , because whatever you do will come back to you threefold . "" 
this strange group plunges into the woods , where they begin to argue about their different approaches to the experience . 
on the very first night that they decide to spend under the stars amidst the ruins of parr's abandoned house , strange things start happening . 
when they wake up their equipment is gone and only the tapes remain . 
after a while they discover strange markings on their bodies . 
they are somehow lost in time , as it loops uncontrollably back and forth . 
they are all haunted by hallucinations and horrible nightmares and soon they can not see the difference between dreams and reality . 
the only thing that they are sure of is that they have brought something or someone with them from the woods . . 
documentary director joe berlinger ( "" paradice lost "" ) helms "" blair witch 2 "" , leaving the creators of the first film ( dan myrick and ed sanches ) in the background . 
the opening scenes--the documentary showing the townspeople affected by the first film-- is a more promising approach , because instead of trying to cover similar ground , it goes outside the first film and makes its own stand . 
but soon the movie gets confused and sidetracked by its own story , that is never resolved and ends with a very anticlimaxic epilogue . 
in a way , this is a typical hollywood sequel . 
more money has been spent and more people have worked on a project that was doomed to fail . 
the horror and suspense of the original simply could not be repeated . 
of course in these situations , quantity is more important than quality and profit is more important than the artistical values . 
from its opening scenes when the camera gracefully panes over the bloody-red forest , with carter burwell's ( "" being john malkovich "" and "" fargo "" ) musical score in the background , you realize that with the exception of its title , this film has absolutely nothing to do with "" the blair witch project "" . 
 "" blair witch . . "" 
was filmed by handheld videocameras and nfeatured acting that was mostly based on improvisation . 
in the sequel the technical aspect of the film is close to perfection , creating a completely different atmosphere . 
with its graceful cinematography , production design and flashy editing , the film has a very polished look , which is impossible to associate with the first installment . 
and though berlinger directs his film with an energy and pace that makes the adrenaline rush through the body a couple of times , he has obviously misunderstood the nature of his predecessor . 
the key is simplicity . 
 "" blair witch project "" had a story which was incredibly simple . 
that allowed the audience to fill the gaps with our own imagination . 
the film was practically an empty screen , on which we projected our most frightening nightmares . 
the effect was incredibly powerful , lasting and entir e everyone , but in a different way . 
 "" book of shadows "" feels incredibly controlled and restrict . 
here , very little is left to our imagination and the story is so complex and "" clever "" that the screenwriters are the first to get lost in it . 
there is is no book of shadows and no conclusion that we can be satisfied with . 
this is simply a less artistic film that doesn't have the talent and originality of its predecessor . 
it resorts to fancy cinematography and special effects to create the right effect and doesn't always succeed . 
but most importantly : it stands on its own ground and has almost no connection with the first movie , which doesn't allow it to destroy the original . 
in the end , i can't call it a bad effort . 
it's less artistic , not so scary and less original , but certainly not bad . 
it's simply different . 
in fact , if you haven't seen "" the blair witch project "" , you might like this film for what it is -- a cross between "" the blair witch project "" and the "" scream "" -films . 
the only element that remains constant and similar between the two films is the solid acting ( jeffrey donovan and tristine skyler should be mentioned ) and incredible sense of surrealism . 
but it's a common knowledge and experience that , with a few exceptions , every movie sequel is worse than the original and some are even not worth making . 
to me the story of "" the blair witch project "" seemed completed , but there are obviously no limits to commercial success that "" the book of shadows "" is certainly assured . 
and it's already time to look forward to "" blair witch 3 "" . 
"
"1","seen may 31 , 1999 on home video ( rented ) . 
one of the best things about the movies is that they can make you really start to wonder and analyze things in your own , everyday life that you might not have thought much of otherwise . 
with some films it might be just a secondary issue , but with `dark city' what we get is nearly an entire film committed to philosophizing and theorizing about human memory and how it defines who we are , which is a poignant theme made through an absolutely beautifully-constructed film with the kind of story and setting that could only happen in a movie . 
there's an old role-playing computer game called `d ? ja v ? ' wherein the player takes on the role of a man who can't remember who he is , where he is and how he got there . 
the goal is to gather as many clues as possible to figure that out and along the way overcome a conflict . 
the premise to this film is not unlike that game , only this time we don't have control over the protagonist . 
we begin by meeting a seemingly ordinary man living in an extremely dark and dirty city ( actually , it's more than just the city , it's the whole reality ) that isn't just that neo-gothic look ( a la `batman , ' `blade runner , ' ) , but is so fully developed it's almost a different genre completely . 
later he will learn that his name is john murdoch ( sewell ) , but for now he has no idea what's going on other than the fact something is not right . 
the fact there's a dead body in the corner goes to enhance the feeling of paranoia and a mysterious , hurried call telling him to leave immediately is also very chilling . 
this opening scene alone goes a long way to define the setting of the film and its bizarre , horrific tone . 
the man doesn't know who he is nor where he's going and it's interesting to follow him since we the viewers have no idea either we can sympathize and identify with him . 
in fact , this is the way all stories begin since it's impossible to know the history of a character , their feelings , values , morals , etc . until after we've observed them for a while . 
but in this case , the total feeling of amnesia is an excellent tool towards characterization , developing the mood and outlining the story . 
eventually , some semblance of a plot begins to unfold as it appears that john is a serial killer wanted by the police . 
we met inspector frank bumstead ( hurt ) , a quiet , unemotional , soft-spoken deadpan man who appears to have been on the trail of the killer for some time . 
two other important characters are also introduced : dr . daniel p . schreber ( sutherland ) , a neurotic psychiatrist who claims to be john's doctor ; and emma murdoch ( connelly ) , a jazz singer dolled up to look like a caraciture right out of the old dick tracy serials or any given leading lady of the old film-noir movies . 
it was schreber who contacted john for reasons that are continually revealed throughout the course of the film . 
he also contacts emma , which further helps the film reveal what is seemingly a complex , mysterious back story . 
but absolutely nothing is as it appears to be in `dark city , ' which is what makes it so fascinating throughout its continual scenes of confusion and vertigo . 
everything the filmmakers want us to see has some significance - considering how intricate the detail is to every single shot , its lighting , art direction and overall production design , they don't seem to be able to afford any gratuities . 
however , that might also be what's keeping it from reaching its maximum potential . 
by continuing to follow john as he wanders around this strange place , so much unlike the real world we know , we come to realize that it's all a hoax . 
everyone in the city is the subject of an experiment being conducted by a race of aliens to understand what makes humans tick in their efforts to somehow save themselves from extinction . 
but , as the film's tagline says , `last night , one of us went off . ' 
for reasons that are never clearly explained , it appears that john possesses telekinetic powers to can do pretty much whatever his mind can conceive ( a process known as `tuning' ) . 
the aliens , which look like very old bald human men with pasty skin , also possess the power en masse and use it to change the city every night at midnight . 
at the same time all the humans fall asleep and after the changes are made , they awake and either continue where they left off or begin a new life they have no idea they did not have until then . 
this premise certainly is interesting and director and co-screenwriter alex proyas is able to keep the film consistently mysterious in this regard . 
he does provide some explanations such as that dr . schreber is an assistant to `the strangers' because he somehow could synthesize memory into chemical form . 
the aliens mix and match the memories of the city's population to see who will change and who will not . 
in the process this creates for a good deal of deep , thought-provoking philosophies that could be applied to the real world . 
however , where the film errs is by not playing up the idea of memory versus the human heart as to what makes a person who he or she is . 
the main characters are all closely intertwined within the seemingly complex murder mystery which never actually happened , yet when they start to go through some of the expected emotions it comes off as distant , static and cold ( mediocre performances by hurt and connelly don't help either ) . 
for example , john realizes emma is not and probably never was his wife so he does not feel an emotional bond to her , yet in some scenes crucial to the film's plot , we are expected to believe they do have a genuine love for each other , which is also part of the film's climax and ending . 
and that's what proyas seems to be inferring with the film , but never quite manages to convey in its fullest sense . 
ironically , this is what made his first film `the crow' work so well , which had a similar theme of struggling to find hope and the human spirit within a nearly identical , dark twisted world . 
with `dark city' the messenger seems to be mistaken for the message . 
still , the film is by no means bad and is consistently entertaining and enjoyable . 
there's a lot to like here , most notably the sheer visual look and style of it all which accounts for at least half the reasons the film is able to tell the story it does . 
the story as a whole is one of the most original to come out of hollywood in years . 
`dark city' is what the movies are all about - the escape from the real world . 
"
"1","linda fiorentino disappeared off the radar after a deservedly heralded turn in the cable pic the last seduction , and her being cast as dogma's lead is nothing short of inexplicable . 
she's still in fine form as bethany , an abortion clinic worker who's lost her faith . 
one night , a visitor from heaven makes a fiery entrance in bethany's bedroom . 
he is metatron ( alan rickman ) , the voice of god , and he needs her help : she must stop two fallen angels from entering a new jersey church-the fate of the universe depends on it . 
god would do it him/herself , but he/she is . . . missing , having taken up human form somewhere on earth never to be heard from again . 
bethany is joined on her road trip to the garden state by the "" prophets "" jay ( jason mewes ) and silent bob ( kevin smith , doing double-duty ) , the slacker minstrels who have appeared in all of smith's films thus far . 
at some point , rock drops naked out of the sky as rufus , the undocumented ( and very black ) "" thirteenth apostle "" , and offers his assistance , as does divine stripper serendipity ( salma hayek ) . 
it's a wild ride . 
they're in pursuit of loki and bartleby ( damon and affleck , respectively-this is probably the sharpest either has ever been ) , who were banished from heaven to wisconsin and have discovered a dogmatic loophole that will enable their return . 
loki decides to wreak havoc along the way with the knowledge that his sins will be absolved at the pearly gates . 
at one point , he terrorizes a boardroom full of suits with an angry combination of words and bullets . 
it's a nasty , guiltily enjoyable little scene that asks , "" how corrupt are you ? "" . 
wings of desire this ain't . 
since debuting with clerks , smith has grown as a director , particularly in terms of working with actors . 
 ( chris rock is this film's only weak link-between jokes , he's wooden . ) 
his no-frills visual style hasn't changed much over the years , though ( dogma's widescreen compositions at least have blockbuster affectations ) , nor has his writing-his characters still sit around delivering one caustic , hilarious speech after another . 
dogma chips away at big religious issues-namely , the hypocrisy that accompanies any organized system of beliefs-eloquently and articulately , but a few of the monologues sound too much like blatant exposition . 
as well , the verbal introduction of each new person seems to take forever . 
any movie with this much weighty talk would have a hard time maintaining momentum ( hurlyburly , anyone ? ) , and eventually dogma's pacing goes slack . 
a long diatribe from bartleby late in the game , in which he laments the destiny of celestial beings , comes at a point when we've heard enough . 
because his change of heart ( bartleby is initially the good cop to loki's bad ) drives the climax , said rant is given a great deal of screen time . 
sure , affleck deserved a big moment ( damon steals their scenes together prior ) , but it ultimately makes the film and us feel bloated . 
like tarantino , smith was a video-age sponge who became a sample-mad indie filmmaker . 
dogma pays welcome homage to an eclectic batch of movies , including indiana jones and the last crusade , with silent bob doing his best harrison ford , and weird science-a shit demon attacks our heroes ! 
smith also has a kitchen sink brand of humour : his dexterous maneuvering between the satirical ( a cardinal played by george carlin attempts to mount a publicity campaign with the slogan "" catholicism wow ! "" ) and the scatalogical ensures that no lover of comedy will leave dogma feeling malnourished . 
i bust ( ed ? ) a gut on several occasions . 
proceedings also get off on the right foot with the opening with the funniest disclaimer ever . 
it's a disclaimer unlikely to put protestors at ease , for to read it , one actually has to see dogma . 
the prerelease ballyhoo is in the tradition of the last temptation of christ's , martin scorsese's 1988 adaptation of nikos kazantzakis' controversial novel , in that it is not directly linked to the picture's content but to rumours and heresy . 
there's a famous anecdote about fletch director michael ritchie inviting picketers of the last temptation of christ into a screening on his dime , just so they could know for certain what they were rallying against . 
 ( not one of them had watched it . ) 
every single person refused . 
smith and scorsese have a lot in common , and so do the two films in question , because both smith's bethany and scorsese's jesus are hollow shells without their faith . 
in fact , dogma's denouement ( which follows a thrilling showdown that's worth the wait ) is a catholic love-in , a veritable recruitment poster . 
 ( i felt sentimental about a religion i don't belong to . 
now that's powerful filmmaking . ) smith is nothing if not sincere about his own devotion to god , and that spirituality shines through . 
it's enough to make me forgive dogma for its editorial sins . 
my religion is movies . 
when the catholic league beats on dogma for imaginary crimes against a doctrine , in a roundabout way they're attacking what i live for : freedom of expression through celluloid . 
i therefore feel that , although i'm no bible-thumper , i'm at least as qualified to criticize dogma as william donohue and his followers . 
"
"1","you've heard all the hype . 
you've seen all their faces - natalie portman ( the professional ) as queen amidala , liam neeson ( schindler's list ) as qui-gon jinn , ewan mcgregor ( trainspotting ) as obi-wan kenobi , and jake lloyd ( jingle all the way ) as young anakin skywalker . 
if you've read any reviews , you've also probably heard that this movie fails to live up to the magic and humanity of the first trilogy . 
you also may have heard that this one's too kiddie-friendly , and doesn't have enough content for adults . 
believe the hype . 
the effects are stunning , the digitalized creatures are amazingly realistic , the lightsaber duels are amazing , and queen amidala's sumptuous robes are fit to be worn by queen elizabeth . 
but there's something missing here , and it isn't budget or effects - it's everything money * can't * buy . 
the actors struggle as best they can to flesh out broad-stroked and flat characters . 
the most successful at this is liam neeson who , as qui-gon jinn , a jedi master to young obi-wan kenobi , has quiet dignity and a wise , commanding presence . 
he is the anchor to this movie , as he is the one character who george lucas apparently spent some time fleshing out . 
portman's queen amidala and mcgregor's obi-wan kenobi don't fare nearly so well . 
amidala , the future mother of luke and leia and the queen of a peaceful planet being invaded by the trade federation ( ? ! ? ) , comes off as stoic , stilted and caricatured ( it appears as though she was a vulcan geisha in a former life ) . 
and obi-wan , although mcgregor makes him very endearing , has so little screen time that he's nothing but a robin to qui-gon jinn's batman . 
however , mcgregor does struggle manfully to infuse this surprisingly small supporting role with a spark of genuine insight and humanity , and he does a good job . 
he also absolutely nails alec guiness' ( obi-wan in episode 4 - 6 ) scottish accent , and that really makes his presence in the film more profound than it might have been otherwise . 
in fact , lucas seems to bank on that preexisting knowledge quite a bit , and that's one of the problems with this film . 
i would never call myself a "" star wars "" fan - especially not considering what it means to be a fanatic these days - but i've always enjoyed the films along with everyone else in america . 
however , if you are the one person in america who * hasn't * seen the films at all or even recently , or who doesn't bother to brush-up on the names of obscure characters , you may be hopelessly lost . 
for example , one of the film's main ( nefarious ) characters is senator palpatine . 
for those of you not recently steeped in "" star wars "" trivia , emperor palpatine is that scary hooded apparition who was darth vader's master in "" return of the jedi "" and "" empire strikes back . "" 
so , obviously , his appearance in "" phantom menace "" is meant to stir some echoes of his later role in the series , thus making his role here more meaningful . 
a lot of the movie is like that . 
r2-d2 and c-3po make token appearances , and it's obvious that lucas is banking on the audience's pre-existing fondness for them . . . 
because he doesn't do much to add to it in any way . 
same goes for jabba the hutt , who doesn't look as much mean here as he does corpulent and lazy . 
even * planets * make foreshadowing guest appearances in this film - tatooine ( the desert world where luke grew up ) , coruscant ( the cloud city from "" empire strikes back "" ) , and alderaan ( leia's home planet - which we never actually see - that gets blown up in "" star wars "" ) show up or are mentioned briefly in passing . 
what's the result of tying so many plot points and characters to future films ? 
the answer is that this one seems surprisingly empty . 
there's no meat - no substance - that makes you want to love the characters as they are , not as they will be . 
another problem is that there are actually * too many * alien characters in the film . 
i was distracted by the fact that two of the main evil characters - strange looking aliens who looked like gila monsters - had mouths that barely moved , making them look more like muppets than actual characters . 
and jar jar binks , a silly roger rabbitish amphibious character , is intended as comic relief , but what he really becomes is annoying - and fast . 
unlike chewbacca and c-3po , who got their humanity ( if you'll pardon the expression ) from their interactions with the human characters , jar jar is often left to interact mostly with others of his kind , at times making the movie seem like nothing more than a very expensive "" teenage mutant ninja turtles . "" 
furthermore , the dialogue is often stilted and corny , and sometimes downright infantile , thereby rendering some characters into nothing more than bystanders to the plot . 
oddly , this isn't just * my * judgment - lucas has said that he designed this film for kids . 
well , he's done a good job . 
the hero of this film , of course , is young anakin , but it was very hard for me to feel any kinship or identify with an eight-year-old boy . 
that's not jake lloyd's fault , though - he does a good job of being a cute kid , which is apparently all lucas asked of him . 
that's another mistake , of course , because the cute tyke becomes darth vader . 
warning : spoilers ahead ! ! ! ! 
in my opinion , there was not nearly enough foreshadowing of anakin's future evil in the film . 
the boy is all blond flowing hair and rosy cheeks , and there's nothing more than a spark of aggression in him throughout the entire movie . 
he has a doting mother ( pernilla august , making her first english- language film ) and is a slave to a gross flying gnome on tatooine . 
but the only indication the audience gets that this kid isn't all hearts and roses is yoda's hesitation in allowing him to train as a jedi under qui-gon jinn . 
his explanation ? 
 "" his future is clouded . "" 
 ( warning : major spoiler ahead . 
enter at your own risk . ) 
of course , the noble qui-gon dies at the hand of darth maul , a scary-looking sith lord who excels at the jedi arts , but has turned to the dark side . 
this dude has maybe two lines in the entire movie , but he establishes his presence through his amazing moves with his double-sided lightsaber , and his scary facial makeup . 
because qui-gon never gets a chance to train the young anakin in the ways of the force , obi-wan , qui-gon's young padawan apprentice ( one level below knightdom ) , must take over the training himself . 
so , at the end of the movie , we end where the saga actually begins - with obi-wan kenobi and his young apprentice , anakin "" darth vader "" skywalker . 
did this story need to be told ? 
i would say no . 
but is it a worthwhile movie to see ? 
absolutely . 
if you don't enter the theater with jedi-size expectations , and you simply want to be treated to an enjoyable visual spectacle , then this is your movie . 
the tatooine pod races are a triumph of effects and computer animation . 
the digitalized backgrounds on some of the planets are an astonishing sight . 
and yoda and young obi-wan are worth seeing for their origins in a simpler , happier time . 
above all , this is a fun movie . 
not deep , not meaningful , and not profound . 
but fun . 
maybe next time , lucas will hire lawrence kasdan to co-write the script , and the guy who directed "" empire "" will direct . 
because if lucas does the next one himself , it will be lacking the one thing it needs the most - potential . 
 : ) 
"
"1","as african american detective vergil tibbs questions a suspected white murderer inside a jail cell , there is a wonderful , eye-catching shot which instantaneously presents the main message of the entire film . 
the shot has tibbs' face completely covered by the shadows of the prison bars . 
to see these bars blocking his face , we see how separated tibbs is from the rest of the characters in the film . 
as a black detective conducting an investigation in a southern town full of violent white bigots , no matter how innocent tibbs is , he is still seen by these bigots as a threat simply because of the color of his skin . 
the bars show that tibbs has not been given a fair chance to show exactly who he is , instead others have chosen him as different and dangerous . 
this one shot amazes me because it captures a whole theme in a matter of seconds . 
it perhaps may be the most powerful image i have seen in a film . 
 "" in the heat of the night "" was the first and the best of the three films norman jewison directed concerning racism in america . 
jewison has a very keen style of displaying various cases of racism as he is neither pedantic nor overly sentimental . 
in these three films he does an excellent job creating very detailed equal analyses of characters from the abused to the abusers . 
he is also not afraid to tell the absolute truth about how corrupt society was in the past and is in the present . 
preceding the very original "" a soldier's story "" and the recently released "" the hurricane , "" "" in the heat of the night contains some classic lines and some very memorable characters . 
the film , which won best picture in 1967 focuses on vergil tibbs , played superbly by sidney poitier as a fearless african american police officer from philadelphia who refuses to give up on an investigation in a white town where is he not wanted . 
tibbs is a man who rarely loses his temper and that is worth mentioning because he is constantly facing abuse from those around him . 
as a hero who is not afraid to face off against five men with chains , tibbs is the perfect protagonist . 
poitier also gives an excellent , noteworthy voice to his character . 
never nervous and always commanding , his speech patterns are very manipulative as they range from stentorian to soothing . 
however , unlike "" the hurricane "" where denzel washington dominated over the rest of the cast , poitier shares the spotlight with rod steiger , who won best actor for his excellent performance . 
as a sheriff who helps tibbs and warns him of the dangers around him , steiger shows a great amount of skill in his role . 
he starts off as racist and blind as the other townspeople . 
he would refer to tibbs as "" boy "" and would always suspiciously keep an eye on him . 
as the film progresses though , there is a very gradual change in the sheriff . 
he begins to see the hardships tibbs faces and he sees the foolishness of his own neighbors . 
what i really enjoyed about steiger's character was that he did not completely abandon his friends or connect with tibbs at the end of the film . 
he still could not refer to tibbs as mister tibbs or officer tibbs but rather settled for virgil . 
instead , it was apparent that he was eventually going to see the world differently in the future . 
most movies would have a character reversing all of his beliefs and influences in a matter of minutes . 
this action would not have been realistic at all since it is nearly impossible for someone to believe something one day and believe something else the next day . 
jewison's determination to make this film as realistic as possible is very obvious here and also very appropriate . 
 "" in the heat of the night "" shows the difference between the north and the south or a major city and a small town in the united states during the 1960's . 
it displays this perfectly . 
however , the actual investigation , although it is not the main focus of the film , lacks interest . 
it seemed rushed especially towards the end as if jewison had given his message about racism and did not feel like giving a credible explanation involving the murder victim . 
there were way too many characters added during the last fifteen minutes and some of the scenes during this time period were inane ( police officer sam being a suspect was not needed ) . 
also , it is given that tibbs is a vigilant homicide detective who is the best at what he does , but some of his discoveries came out of nowhere and how he found out some of the important case details towards the end were never answered . 
the rushed ending was the only mistake of this otherwise memorable jewison classic . 
 ( a congratulations has to be given to actor scott wilson . 
he managed to be in the two best movies of 1967 , "" in the heat of the night "" and the even better "" in cold blood . "" ) 
"
"1","in wonder boys michael douglas plays an aged writer \ professor with such lived-in naturalism that i believe it may be his best performance . 
ever since wall street , douglas has spent the greater part of his career playing variations on the shark in a suit gordon gecko character he personified in the mid-80's . 
in those performances he tended to exaggerate the vehemence of cutthroat businessmen , with much frothing at the mouth while projecting all his bad intentions to the world . 
you'd think such a man would keep his evil wrapped tightly underneath a good-natured veneer , but from gordon gecko to nicholas van orton , douglas played the role straight and out in the open . 
in wonder boys his performance isn't showy or a tour de force , it's simple yet truthful . 
he embodies grady , a craggy old writer with a predilection for pot and pink bathrobes . 
grady instructs a writers workshop while working tirelessly on a follow up to the novel that put him on the map . 
when we first encounter this curmudgeon in the midst of his workshop , we hear his sardonic narration on the soundtrack as students bombard one of their own with unfair criticisms . 
grady points out , in his narration , that they only do so out of jealousy . 
their target is the very writerly named james leer ( played by the always understated tobey maguire ) , a student full of potential and one whom grady develops a mild affection for . 
leer is the kind of youth who seems to mechanically block out emotions . 
he speaks in an intellectualized monotone with just a hint of dry wit around the edges . 
he's portentous and gloomy , as if modeling himself after the great depressed writers , though his act is a little too calculated . 
he reminds me of the self-imposed outcast film director , jim jarmusch ( dead man , ghost dog ) . 
whenever i happen to catch jarmusch in an interview i see the man speaking in a toneless manner ( the monotonous drawl supposedly masking depth or contempt for his interviewer ) , exclusively dressed in black , and with his spiked hair dyed snow white . 
leer is similar , a guy who equates quirks with depth . 
tobey maguire fits well in the role . 
with his round , sweet-eerie face he resembles bud cort from harold and maude . 
but unlike cort , maguire is easier to warm up to ; he's a messed up kid reaching for artistic credibility . 
katie holmes plays hannah , a beautiful , talented writing student just itching to get in grady's pants . 
this is a plot line i had trouble with . 
douglas , in his old age , is beginning to resemble jerry springer , a man who has actually paid for sex on numerous documented occasions . 
at first i found it extremely difficult to believe that someone as beautiful as hannah would desire grady ( maybe it's because i'm jealous , and wish holmes was throwing herself at me , after all i may just be a lowly internet critic but at least i still have all my teeth ) , then i think of douglas's real life companion , the breathtaking catherine zeta jones . 
seeing those two together looks a lot like a kidnapping . 
suddenly my mind has shifted from the task at hand ( that being reviewing this completely wonderful movie ) and i'm pontificating on why the hell jones would desire douglas . 
there is a movie in there somewhere . 
grady , rather chivalrously if you ask me , resists the charms of hannah for sara gaskell ( a droll frances mcdormand ) , who is his age , but also married to another professor . 
okay , maybe not so chivalrous . 
there is a great line in the film spoken by douglas about sara where he says , "" she was a junkie for the printed word . 
lucky for me i manufactured her drug of choice "" . 
robert downy j . r plays a bisexual editor who makes his entrance with a towering transvestite on his arm . 
downy has mastered the gleefully dry hyper articulate wit of many a hipster intellectual . 
he's arrogant but completely likeable in his utter arrogance . 
the actor is perfectly cast here , and remains a joyous movie presence somewhere between a typical tom hanksian comic leading man and edgy character actor . 
i wish wonder boys had more of him . 
searching for a plot among the elements of wonder boys would be pointless , for it meanders through its running time , but that's part of its charm . 
and maybe i'm a bit biased towards the film because it takes place in a haven of literary academia , a place i'm greatly fond of , and a place rarely explored in american cinema . 
everyone has a sub-genre ( be it war films , westerns , dance movies ) that they happen to be privy to . 
i'm privy to films about literary types i . e . 
those individuals enthralled by the written word , and if you are not so inclined it may be wise to knock my above grade down about half a notch . 
the direction by curtis hanson is more akin to a european film with its leisurely pace and situations that grow from the characters , rather than generic mapped out story points . 
sometimes the dialogue is too clever , but that's a problem i wish i found with films more often . 
another minor quibble is that early on the film seems a bit too introverted , like its characters , but as the story progresses it begins to open up . 
for me wonder boys works as subtle drama because of its insight into artistic types , and as a low-key comedy for its chuckle-worthy throwaway gags . 
the gags are like those in the great robert altman ( m * a * s * h , the long goodbye ) movies , where jokes exist as asides on the fringes , like jokes in life often do . 
the broader comedy such as the killing of a blind dog , and incessant smoking of marijuana isn't ineffective but not nearly as memorable as the little things . 
curtis hanson , who before his last film , la confidential , toiled about with exploitation fare like losin' it ( an early tom cruise sex comedy ) and the hand the rocks the cradle , has graduated to more meaningful films . 
he directs wonder boys in an appropriately dour style , the comedy coming from the false gloom his characters put up . 
the morose crooning of leonard cohen would seem an odd song for the background of any party , but in a wonder boys party , it fits . 
the film is like a piece of literature put up on the big screen . 
it's the cinematic equivalent to a good read , novelistic in its approach with themes rarely found in american movies . 
many will find it slight , but i found much to savor among its subtleties . 
"
"1","plot : derek zoolander is a male model . 
he is also very dumb and impressionable . 
for that reason , he is secretly hired and trained ( so secret , that even he doesn't know about it ) by an underground fashion syndicate to assassinate the prime minister of malaysia , who wants to abolish child labor in his country . 
will zoolander fulfill the dirty deed ? 
will zoolander ever grace the world his new "" look "" ? 
is this a funny movie ? 
find out below . . . 
critique : there's a place in our world for "" stupid comedies "" . 
films which don't pretend to take themselves seriously , are based on idiotic premises and filled with dumb jokes . 
there's also a time for them and many would argue that this difficult period of our history , might be an ideal circumstance during which to "" relax "" by watching something so completely frivolous . 
well , if you're in the mood for some seriously mindless entertainment , ben stiller and his cast of many have assembled one of the more original dumb comedies in some time . 
of course , comedies as such are usually very subjective and i could see how some will see this film simply as stupid and unfunny , while others will grant them the "" stupid "" , but consider it funny instead . 
i personally enjoyed it for the most part , cracked up loudly during a couple of specific sequences and loved the derek zoolander character and the unrestrained whipping they released upon the fashion industry . 
snap ! 
it was also nice to see several real-life models with small roles in the movie , not taking themselves too seriously . 
and if you're the type of person who likes celebrity cameos in films , well , don't look any further because dozens of famous faces show up here including vince vaughn , billy zane , winona ryder , christian slater , david duchovny , natalie portman and many , many others . 
i especially liked andy dick's complete make-over as the masseuse . 
hi-larious ! 
but with all films of this type , there is bound to be some stuff that simply doesn't work . 
a few particulars which didn't strike my fancy included the bulimia and "" orgy "" sequence with christine taylor , the break-dance fighting , and i also never get why they use real countries in plots like this ( why not just "" make up "" a country , instead of zeroing in on a certain people ? ) . 
i also could have done with less of the taylor character in general , since she wasn't all that interesting and seemed to slow things down every now and then ( more zoolander , dude ! ) . 
but those few missteps were nothing compared to some of the more memorable scenes which definitely did work for me ! 
i almost pissed myself during the "" gas station "" disaster , absolutely adored the "" walk-off "" contest ( with david bowie as the judge , no less ) and appreciated many of zoolander's moronic one-liners ( "" i was a merman . . . a 
merman ! ! "" ) . 
and i dare you to get his "" monkey "" photo shoot out of your head after seeing this movie ( "" you're a monkey , derek . . . a 
monkey ! "" ) 
i also really liked the soundtrack and the pace of the film , both of which zipped and zagged , and established a nice rhythm to it all . 
again , it's to note that this movie is dumb and not for everyone , but my guess is that if you laughed at the trailer , you will likely enjoy many of the quips in the actual picture as well . 
if you thought the trailer was dumb , skip this dodo bird and go rent austin powers again or something , a film from which there is an obvious influence here . 
blue steel , baby . . . yeah ! ! ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
austin powers ( 7/10 ) - austin powers 2 ( 7/10 ) - deuce bigalow ( 7/10 ) - dude , where's my car ( 7/10 ) - freddy got fingered ( 5/10 ) - jay & silent bob strike back ( 8/10 ) - joe dirt ( 5/10 ) - meet the parents ( 8/10 ) - say it isn't so ( 3/10 ) 
"
"1","unzipped is a cinematic portrait of isaac mizrahi , an artist whose palette is fabric . 
ostensibly , the film is a documentary , but use of that term requires stretching its meaning . 
many scenes appear staged , and a great deal of cutting-and-pasting has been done in the editing room . 
the cinema verite effect is a conceit -- genuine spontaneity is at a premium , and everyone is aware of and playing to the camera ( especially would-be actresses like cindy crawford ) . 
director douglas keeve ( who was mizrahi's lover at the time ) freely admits that he "" couldn't care less about the truth "" but was more interested in capturing "" the spirit and love in isaac and in fashion . "" 
despite violating nearly every rule of "" legitimate "" documentary film making , however , unzipped is a remarkably enjoyable piece of entertainment . 
while it sheds only a little light on the behind-the-scenes world of the fashion industry , it presents a fascinating , if incomplete , picture of designer mizrahi . 
this man is the perfect subject for this kind of study -- he's funny , energetic , and eminently quotable . 
he has unusual views on just about everything , from fashion ( "" it's about women not wanting to look like cows "" ) to mary tyler moore ( "" between her and jackie kennedy , they shaped this country "" ) to style ( "" it's almost impossible to have style nowadays without the right dogs "" ) . 
unzipped also gives a glimpse into the creative process by which mizrahi turns an idea into a dress . 
it's almost certainly different that anyone would imagine . 
the designer draws on a variety of sources for his look , including nanook of the north and old bette davis movies , then enlists the aid of a ouija board to help form the collection . 
in particular , unzipped traces mizrahi's development of his fall 1994 line from its inception in the spring to the final fashion show , which highlights a number of prominent models , including cindy crawford , naomi campbell , kate bush , and linda evangelista . 
on the technical side , a number of interesting choices were made in filming unzipped . 
a variety of film stocks were used : super 8 , 16 mm black-and-white , and 35 mm color . 
there is a purpose to this beyond simple artiness -- the stock often serves as an emotional key to the movie , and , during the climactic fashion show , color is used to show the audience's perspective , while black-and-white is for the behind-the- scenes sequences . 
nevertheless , some viewers will be put off by this treatment . 
while unzipped isn't an expose on the fashion industry per se , keeve has enough clips of petulant models to make the viewer realize how tame robert altman was with ready to wear . 
overall , however , this movie is far more about mizrahi than anything else , and only when viewed from that perspective does unzipped succeed . 
when the designer declares that "" everything is frustrating except designing clothes -- that's beautiful and liberating , "" it fits perfectly with the image of him that unzipped has constructed . 
"
"1","dora ( fernanda montenegro ) sits behind a make-shift desk at rio+s major train station . 
she , in her colorful demeanor , offers a service that is unheard of in the states . 
she writes letters for the illiterate , who pass through , to try to find lost relatives , find love , or search after lost debts . 
she+s quirky , she+s elderly , she+s caring . 
totally trustworthy , right ? 
not a chance . 
once home , she never sends these letters , saving money on postage , and relishing in the drama contained therein with her neighbor irene ( mar ? lia p ? ra ) . 
one of the letters is sent by a young mother with her nine-year old son , looking for their father . 
shortly thereafter , she gets hit by a bus , and the son is orphaned . 
days go by , and the boy , named josu ? , roams around the station , hungry , desperate , and somewhat clueless to his predictament . 
through a series of circumstances too precious to elaborate upon , dora somehow takes a responsibility in trying to find josu ? +s father . 
this means leaving the security of rio , traveling to the outskirts of brazil , where unpaved roads , religious devotees and the poverty-stricken become commonplace . 
films like this remind me as to what i enjoy about some foreign films . 
it is an opportunity for me to get a fresh breath in another part of the world , so distant from my own . 
it does so entertainingly , and so heart-wrenchingly . 
and yet , it+s backdrop is merely that . 
the focus is on the minute transformation of dora , of how she learns to love this little kid , without being cloying or sentimental . 
the most interesting backdrop is the amount of religious dedication is in the film . 
dora being an amoral scam-artist , could care less about the amount of bickering between the candle-lighting of the catholics versus the bumper-sticker mentality of the evangelicals . 
but neither side is trivialized . 
she even begins to develop an affection for a non-drinking evangelical , who sees the problems with dora , if not initially . 
fernanda montenegro surprisingly got an oscar nomination for this very delicate performance , but the true marvel is that of vinicius de oliveira , who plays josu ? . 
he , like the discoveries of j ? r ? mie renier ( _la promesse_ ) and giorgio cantarini ( _life is beautiful_ ) , prove that the true acting discoveries may be outside of the united states . 
he is a natural , and never once grating . 
send a memo to jonathan taylor thomas . 
"
"1","the event of events is upon us . 
people have waited twenty-two years for the prequel to star wars and die-hard fans have been camping out at theaters for months to get tickets to see it . 
i don't think that america will ever actually recover from what this hurricane of a film has caused . 
it is not a bit of an exaggeration to say that this is the most highly anticipated movie in history . 
anyone who tells you "" it's just a movie "" is either lying or clueless . 
it is clearly obvious that after the waiting and the hype actually seeing the movie will be anticlimactic . 
the second coming of the lord could not live up to the kind of buzz ( which is far too weak a word ) that star wars epsode i : the phantom menace so effortlessly generated . 
but that does not mean that the film itself is bad . 
in fact , it is terrific . 
i strongly suspect that many of the people who were dissappointed by it have simply surrendered to the media machine and the inevitable backlash . 
it is set some decades before the events of the original 1977 star wars took place . 
the film focuses on the fledgling republic of planets and the conflict that is raging : the trade federation , angry at some tax raise that was recently put in place has invaded the small , peaceful planet of naboo . 
the republic sent two jedi knights ( people that can actively communicate with what is affectionately known as "" the force "" ) , qui-gon jinn ( liam neeson ) and obi-wan kenobi ( ewan mcgregor ) to negotiate . 
unable to stop the tide of events that was about to occur , the jedi and the queen of naboo ( natalie portman ) escape naboo and head for coruscant to try and get the republic senate to intervene . 
on the way they get sidetracked to a planet called tatooine , where they meet the movie's real focal point , young anakin skywalker ( jake lloyd ) . 
he is an innocent slave boy , but "" the force is strong with him "" so qui- gon is determined to take him with them to the jedi counsel and get him trained as a jedi . 
as any self-respecting star wars fan should know , anakin will grow up to be darth vader and give birth to luke skywalker . 
>from the beginning it is evident that this is not an actor's movie . 
around 70% of the characters , if not more , are computer generated in one form or another , and though the effects are seamless , the movie lacks soul . 
i think that although the computer has played an incredibly instrumental part in moviemaking this decade , cinema should still be a human art and the phantom menace nearly defies this . 
this is the lightest installment in the star wars saga thus far , with plenty of broad comic relief to go around , much of it courtesy of an irritating knew character named jar-jar binks . 
he's essentially a computer-animated sidekick who says things like "" exqueeze me ? "" 
and "" mesa go now , okeday ? "" , and although it is often amusing it is also inherently annoying . 
the visual effects are astounding ( although director george lucas often chickens out by cutting away from them ) and the movie is a thrilling triumph . 
if it lacks in plot and in acting it makes up for it through imagination and excitement . 
the climactic lightsaber battle ( oh , come on , as if you didn't already know ) , among other things , is outrageously entertaining and defines the term "" popcorn movie "" . 
what made me surrender and give this movie * * * 1/2 stars was the score by john williams . 
even though it does seem like the man scores every single movie that comes out these days , his work here is nothing short of brilliant . 
his use of opera during the climax really does add a punch and his ingenious way of utilizing the imperial march as a sort of prophecy is chilling . 
the phantom menace is probably most effective as pop nostalgia . 
when you see "" a long time ago , in a galaxy far , far away "" , when the familiar music plays , when the words "" star wars "" appear on screen , you'll feel a tingle even if you didn't see the movie when it first came out in '77 . 
it feels oddly exciting to be introduced to young anakin , a boy whose innocence , we know , will be taken away and who will soon cross over to the dark side . 
it is the perfect example of dramatic irony to see the jedi masters aspire to get him trained in the jedi arts ; we know that it will do more harm than good , but they do not . 
we not only feel more involved in the story , but we feel like we're seeing the beginning of a saga that we have cherished for years . 
the phantom menace , although lacking in human aspects of the story , is a very worthy installment in the star wars . 
it works as an action flick , visually eye-popping and often paralyzingly exciting ; it also works as an elicitor of memories , a piece of exquisite nostalgia . 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov&#137 ; 
"
"1","sometimes a movie comes along that falls somewhat askew of the rest . 
some people call it "" original "" or "" artsy "" or "" abstract "" . 
some people simply call it "" trash "" . 
a life less ordinary is sure to bring about mixed feelings . 
definitely a generation-x aimed movie , a life less ordinary has everything from claymation to profane angels to a karaoke-based musical dream sequence . 
whew ! 
anyone in their 30's or above is probably not going to grasp what can be enjoyed about this film . 
it's somewhat silly , it's somewhat outrageous , and it's definitely not your typical romance story , but for the right audience , it works . 
a lot of hype has been surrounding this film due to the fact that it comes to us from the same team that brought us trainspotting . 
well sorry folks , but i haven't seen trainspotting so i can't really compare . 
whether that works in this film's favor or not is beyond me . 
but i do know this : ewan mcgregor , whom i had never had the pleasure of watching , definitely charmed me . 
he was great ! 
cameron diaz's character was uneven and a bit hard to grasp . 
the audience may find it difficult to care about her , thus discouraging the hopes of seeing her unite with mcgregor after we are immediately sucked into caring about and identifying with him . 
misguided ? 
you bet . 
loveable ? 
you bet . 
a life less ordinary was a delight and even had a bonus for me when i realized it was filmed in my hometown of salt lake city , utah . 
this was just one more thing i didn't know about this movie when i sat down with a five dollar order of nachos and a three dollar coke . 
maybe not knowing the premise behind this film made for a pleasant surprise , but i think even if i had known , i would have been just as happy . 
a life less ordinary is quirky , eccentric , and downright charming ! 
not for everyone , but a definite change of pace for your typical night at the movies . 
"
"1","that thing you do ! 
 ( r ) tom hanks's screenwriting and directorial debut , that thing you do ! , has all the qualities you would associate with the most beloved screen actor of the moment : fun , lively , and oh-so-nice . 
it is the latter quality , however , that becomes a hindrance , for this '60s nostalgia trifle is so nice and sweet that it teeters on becoming bland milquetoast . 
that thing focuses on the wonders , a teen rock band from erie , pennsylvania that is suddenly thrust into the national spotlight in 1964 when they score a major dance hit called , of course , "" that thing you do ! "" 
the group's members are , naturally a diverse group : there's brooding lead singer and songwriter jimmy ( johnathon schaech ) ; girl-crazy lenny ( steve zahn ) , the lead guitarist ; a goofy , geeky type known only as the bass player ( ethan embry ) ; and the film's center , guy ( tom everett scott ) , the drummer who has aspirations in jazz . 
along for the wonders' ride to success is jimmy's perpetually neglected galpal , faye ( liv tyler ) . 
hanks proves to be a capable writer-director , deftly recreating the innocent spirit of 1964 , which hanks calls "" the last innocent year . "" 
the spirit is not only reflected in the period clothes and settings but also in the music , which , like the other recent period music film , grace of my heart , was expressly written for the film ; hanks himself had a hand in writing four of the tunes--but not the infectious title cut by adam schlesinger , which is guaranteed to stay in your head long after the end credits have rolled ( it's still playing in my mind as i write this ) . 
it should come as no surprise that hanks the director works well with the actors , eliciting charming , likable work from the entire cast , most notably hanks lookalike scott and tyler , who is remarkable in delivering the film's biggest and best dramatic moment . 
the work of the young ensemble is so natural that they truly convince as teens of the early '60s ; they do not appear to be '90s grungers playacting "" retro . "" 
yet for all the light , frothy charms of that thing you do ! , it's nearly nice to a fault . 
while this unbridled innocence in film is a refreshing change from all the sinful cinema around these days , there is not enough conflict to keep things consistently interesting . 
everyone is so happy , basking in the glow of overnight success , marvelling at it all--except toward the end , but even then the tone quickly reverts to sweetness , ending on an appropriately feel-good note . 
there isn't much of an edge throughout that thing--the only thing that is remotely edgy is hanks's turn as the wonders' manager--and thus becomes in danger of being so nice it's bland . 
but a little niceness goes a long way these days , and there's no denying the entertainment value of that thing you do ! ; it's just about impossible to hate . 
it's an inoffensive , enjoyable piece of nostalgia that is sure to leave audiences smiling and humming , if not singing , "" that thing you do ! "" --quite 
possibly for days . 
to paraphrase a passage from the song : though i try and try to forget that song it is just so hard to do every time they play "" that thing you do ! "" 
"
"1"," "" he's back , and it's about time . "" 
was the motto for this television series pilot ( i call it a pilot , i don't care what fox network says ) revival of the cult classic british tv show , doctor who , that spawned no series , which means there are no smart network execs out there ( not exactly news to a lot of people , i know ) . 
the motto was well chosen . 
the series was simple , it was about this time lord scientist called the doctor with thirteen lives who traveled around in a type forty spaceship called a tardis outsmarting all kind of alien baddies , including the evil daleks , and the master , who appears in this feature , played very badly by eric roberts . 
as good as this revival was , there is something missing from it to make sure it was really doctor who . 
is it the acting ? 
hell , no ! 
paul mcgann is just as good as any of the other seven guys who've played the doctor ( including his predecessor and off-screen friend sylvester mccoy , who appears once more for the regeneration scene ) . 
he looks right for the role , is a brilliant actor , and slips effortlessly into the role , the way my two favorites jon pertwee and tom baker would . 
daphne ashbrook brings class to her role as dr . grace holloway , the doctor's first companion that he kisses on screen , she is not your typical female companion who screams , and spends her free time making coffee for the doctor , she is a tough , spunky american , and ashbrook shows this well . 
young yee jee tso shows promise as chang lee , and i've seen him in other stuff in which he usually plays the punk kid who dies at the end ( this film included ) , which , imho , wastes his talent . 
the only problem with the acting is eric roberts . 
one time he had to say to mcgann's doctor , "" i always dress for the occasion . "" 
but he broke it up , and said it so slowly that it wounded up sounding like a song lyric , "" i always . . . 
dress . . . 
for the occasion . "" 
you need an actor less slow and less reliant on moving his hands to act , and who's also british , like mcgann is as the doctor . 
executive producer phil segal said he was casted because fox insisted on having one american star in the role . 
i dunno who thought of casting him , but if they're reading this : news flash : eric roberts is * not * a star ! 
he rides on his sister's coattails , and any hit movie he makes has nothing to do with him . 
is this problem the kisses to the past ? 
they have references to the show so subtle that non fans would not notice them , only whovians would , and they're good . 
is it the script or the movie as a whole ? 
the script is a classy piece of work , featuring a master who can spit slime out of his mouth and nice dialogue , and the movie as a whole is one fans will love , and it is a good stand alone viewing for nonfans to enjoy the series . 
so what is it ? 
simple : no plot . 
the master , on his last legs , sends for the doctor to rescue him after the daleks put him on trial on their planet skaro and exterminate him . 
the doctor attempts to take his remains back to gallifrey , but they accidentally land in san francisco , 1999 , december 31 , where the master , with young street hood chang lee's help , opens the eye of harmony , which will suck the earth through it at midnight if the doctor , with the help of female surgeon , dr . grace holloway , doesn't close it by then . 
virtually no plot . 
i was told the movie would've featured the daleks on screen and started with more of a courtroom drama between the master and the daleks , but a lot of rewriting went on on the set . 
that shows how smart people are , as it would have made the movie a hell of a lot more interesting , and that would've gotten a four star rating out of me . 
"
"1","dreamworks pictures presents a jinks/ cohen company production kevin spacey annette bening "" american beauty "" thora birch allison janney peter gallagher mena suvari wes bentley and chris cooper co-producers stan wlodkowski alan ball music by thomas newman costume designer julie weiss film editor tariq anway chris greenbury production designer naomi shohan director of photography conrad l . hall , a . s . c . 
produced by bruce cohen & dan jinks written by alan ball directed by sam mendes 
 "" both my wife and daughter think i'm this gigantic loser . 
and they're right . 
i have lost something . 
i didn't always feel this sedated . "" 
with that piece of dialogue , we are fully introduced to lester burnham ( kevin spacey ) , a 42 year old man trapped within his own life . 
lester works for an advertising agency . 
his growing dissatisfaction with his job is only one of the mid-life crisis he is suffering . 
estranged from both his wife and his daughter , lester starts to crack under the stress . 
his life becomes nothing more than a series of mastubatory fantasies , and sullen apathy . 
carolyn burnham ( annette bening ) , is the prototypical career woman/ homemaker . 
she carefully tends her rose garden , decorates her home with the best furnishings . 
but inside she is desperate . 
unsuccessful at her profession as a real estate agent , she drives herself into states of denial and self loathing that only feed her growing resentment towards her family . 
the third member of this anti-family is jane burnham ( thora birch ) , lester and carolyn's daughter . 
a young girl going through the typical stages of adolescence , but having to also come to terms with her families growing dysfunction . 
this funny ( and frightening ) slice of life is refreshingly simple . 
not one character is given less than is needed to identify him or her . 
some of the most telling characters are those that serve to highlight other characters . 
most notably is barbara fitts ( allison janney ) , the almost catatonic wife of retired marine colonel fitts . 
she has almost no dialogue , and seems to be either recovering from a stroke or suffering from one . 
colonel fitts ( chris cooper ) is an angry and frightened man . 
his rage directed almost singularly at his son , ricky ( wes bentley ) who has just moved with his family to the same neighborhood as the burnham's . 
in fact they are the next door neighbors . 
anymore detail into the personalities of these marvelously diverse characters would deprive one of the many pleasures and surprises to be had in "" american beauty "" . 
alan ball , who was the co-executive producer of the hit tv series "" cybil "" and creator of the new sitcom "" oh grow up "" , has fashioned one of the most insightful and expertly tuned screenplays to have hit the screen in the past ten years . 
not one character in this film rings falsely . 
and the depth of personality in each , is achingly honest and insightful . 
the plot detailing the last year in the life of a man as he tries to find his own self worth is so resoundingly cliched and at the same time original as to bring to mind such marvelous film work as "" the graduate "" or "" lolita "" . 
kevin spacey turns in one of this years most pragmatic performances . 
his lester burnham is an everyman caught up in the middle of a life that is spiraling into old age . 
finally unable to deal with the lost soul that he has become , lester tries to return to his youth . 
he quits his job ( actually blackmailing his employer for one year's salary ) , starts smoking pot , fantasizes about his daughter's girlfriend angela ( mena suvari , in a marvelous performance here ) , starts working out , and finally takes a job at the local fast food outlet . 
mr . spacey's performance is so remarkably subtle and ingenuous , that we can be certain that come oscar ? time , we can be assured to see him name among the five nominees . 
annette bening also turns in what may be the best performance of her career . 
carolyn burnham is a woman who has become so insecure as to be caught up in maintaining the facade of normalcy . 
unable to cope with her growing disillusionment , she forces herself to maintain her demeanor , driving her further and further into desperation , adultery and possibly murder . 
ms . bening makes the character of carolyn so compelling as to be identifiable to almost anyone . 
the slow and methodical turn from happy home maker to charnel house martha stewart is too frightening to express in words . 
thora birch holds her own against the talents cast with her . 
jane burnham is both an innocent girl caught up in what is a dysfunctional family , and a rebellious child ready to abandon them at any moment . 
her growing distrust and isolation from her family is something that many parents should view as a warning . 
she is the prototypical trophy child . 
when carolyn praises her daughter after a performance by her cheerleading team ( "" i'm so proud of you , honey . 
you didn't screw up once ! "" ) , the bitterness and resentment are palpable . 
thora birch is a young actress to watch . 
praise must also go to chris cooper who brings yet another angry father role to life with depth and resonance . 
colonel finn is a man in complete denial . 
his military upbringing masking a desire he is too repulsed to even comprehend . 
wes bentley as ricky finn is fine as the enigma . 
the boy next door who may be more foe than friend . 
a deceitful and calculating young man , whose voyeuristic proclivities mask a deeper and more profound understanding of life than any of the adults around him . 
mr . bentley's performance is the one troublesome note in the film . 
that is simply because the character is such a grand and complete liar , that one almost faults the performance for it . 
director sam mendes handles all of the particulars of the cast and the settings with a sure and composed style that is neither intrusive nor subtle . 
scenes of carolyn walking through the rain , carry an ominous fission that calls attention to the emotions of the character . 
the subtle cinematography by conrad hall is wonderful , capturing the season in all of it's harsh beauty ( fall has never looked so inviting , yet depressing ) . 
every nuance of "" american beauty "" begs it's audience to think and examine . 
it is a film that will be discussed and debated for years to come . 
and well it should , as it is simply one of this years best . 
"
"1","will hunting ( matt damon ) is a natural genius . 
for a movie character , that's usually a death sentence . 
it's a trait associated with what my brother calls "" too good for this world "" movies , like phenomenon or powder . 
forgive me for spoiling the ending , but will doesn't die . 
this is no formula movie . 
in fact , it's quite fresh and original . 
it's a character study more than anything , and that's not surprising , considering it was written by two actors : damon and co-star ben affleck . 
will works whatever kind of job he can get . 
first he's a janitor , then he works construction . 
off-screen he speed reads books on any academic subject that interests him . 
on-screen he hangs out with his friends , picking fights in robust , romanticized-hemingway fashion . 
lambeau ( stellan skarsgard from breaking the waves ) , a math professor , learns that the janitor ( will ) is a genius with a special talent for advanced mathematics . 
having confirmed he's not a fluke or a savant , he does what he can to get will into the education system . 
he is firmly rejected . 
finally , will lands in jail for one of his fights . 
lambeau can get him probation instead of prison time as long as will agrees to therapy sessions and to discussing mathematics with him . 
will ( barely ) decides to go for the therapy over prison . 
lambeau treats will like a son . 
he's proud of , and amazed by , will's accomplishments in mathematics . 
he encourages will and tries to give him structure , knowing that , with a little discipline , he could be bigger than einstein . 
will isn't really interested in academia . 
he knows he would be the best in his field , and therefore spend all of his time in an office , explaining math to people like lambeau . 
he would rather work construction , which breaks lambeau's heart . 
meanwhile , will attends his mandated therapy sessions . 
it's not long before he shreds all the therapists on lambeau's "" a "" list . 
will has read enough psychology to know the tricks of the trade , and how to keep them from affecting him . 
shrink after shrink refuses to return after will's mockery . 
lambeau's last hope is his old college roommate , now a psychology teacher at a small-time community college . 
knowing that will is going to try to shred him too , sean ( robin williams ) agrees to take him on as a favor to lambeau and for the chance to meet this next einstein . 
true to form , will finds sean's emotional weakness and attacks . 
but unlike the other shrinks , sean knows what he is in for and continues the sessions . 
like a foster mother with a fussy child , sean knows that the attacks are defensive and is able to take them in stride . 
like the foster mother , sean knows that time and quiet patience is the only approach . 
robin williams is excellent in this role . 
he's not an actor with a great range , but in the right roles he has great depth . 
in this movie , as in awakenings , there comes a point when the quiet , shy man accomplishes something of great personal importance , and a smile of pure joy spreads up to his eyes . 
williams is the only actor i can name who can make an audience cry just by smiling . 
i have compared will to a foster child and that's not entirely fair . 
emotionally , he has a lot to learn , but he is not a child . 
he has thought about his life and made rational decisions about what he wants . 
sean , his girlfriend , his pals , and lambeau all help him grow , but he didn't start out asking for , or particularly needing , help . 
his exceptional gift singled him out , and those who love him kept pushing him in the right direction . 
if i had to say anything bad about good will hunting is that it walks the line between drama and melodrama . 
it's too sentimental and uplifiting for a straight drama , but the emotions are too subtle for melodrama . 
it is emotionally engaging , but it's not quite larger than life . 
this isn't a problem per se , but at times i didn't know quite how to take it . 
but this is a relatively small complaint about a very good movie . 
a good movie allows its characters to learn and grow . 
it doesn't just happen ; it takes a good script , good acting , and good direction . 
good will hunting has all three . 
if you are at all inclined to see it , by all means , go . 
"
"1","if there's one thing in common about all of hollywood's major studios , it's that their productions are moving toward mainstream more and more . 
although twentieth century fox and new line cinema have spawned subsidiaries which specialize in independant or controversial motion pictures ( fox searchlight and fine line respectively ) , it's obvious there's no significant movement underway to promote inventive ideas at the theater . 
so when a movie like gary ross' pleasantville comes along , wrapped in a blanket of innovative ideas and served up on a platter of fine production , it's a welcome change of pace for all who frequent the cineplexes . 
although the atmosphere and buzz about the movie are cheery and lighthearted , pleasantville should not be mistaken for a no-thought movie . 
quite the opposite is true , in fact , as director ross skillfully brings a narrative with intense and intelligent undertones to the screen . 
the story , both about the joys of living life to the fullest as well as the social ills of segregation , captures the essence of statement-making in the cinema . 
not in recent memory has a movie carried such weight of theme into widescale distribution , and even if mass audiences fail to see the ingenuity of ross' work , it is still a testament that his picture was considered worthy enough . 
kudos to both he and his production staff for putting together this fine picture . 
it stars tobey maguire and reese witherspoon as two nineties teenagers who , through quite a bit of luck , find themselves zapped into a fifties sitcom named "" pleasantville . "" 
maguire , as the reserved bud parker , is perfect for the pseudo-world ; but the rebellious mary sue ( witherspoon ) is not at all made for the father-knows-best times . 
it's not long before she sets the town of pleasantville on end , and begins to teach the townspeople - in a quite unlikely way - what life is * really * like . 
soon hues of color creep into the black and white world , and while some embrace the change in the passion of realism , others fear the strangeness . 
at one end is a soda shop owner-turned-painter named mr . johnson ( jeff daniels ) and at the other end is a close-minded mayor ( j . t . 
walsh ) and his chamber of commerce ; but the two sides are simply fronts for a clash of ideas that soon involves the entire town . 
fine performances are turned in all around . 
maguire and witherspoon are effective as the leads , but the true complements go out to jeff daniels and j . t . 
walsh ( in his latest and final posthumous performance ) . 
daniels brings an atmosphere of awe , inspiration , and hope to his character , whereas walsh simply drips of sinister closemindedness - almost to the point where you can sense gene hackman's envy . 
for daniels , it's his most commendable performance of the last three years - or more - and for walsh , it's a complementary exclamation point on a fine career . 
also of lesser note is the supporting role by joan allen , and in viewing the entire cast works well together from start to finish . 
there's not much to dislike about pleasantville , and its dynamic nature makes it the perfect movie for those who want serious as well as those who don't . 
"
"1","what do you get when you slap together a movie based on a story by the legendary george lucas , directed by virtuoso director steven spielberg , and starring one of the biggest box-office stars in the world , harrison ford ? 
you get one hot-fudge-rockin' good time , that's what you get ! ! ! 
plot : professor/archeologist indiana jones sets out to find the long-lost mystical ark of the covenant before the nazis get their grubby fingers hands on it . 
adventures , snakes , romance and mucho action ensues . 
critique : astounding movie packed with non-stop action , stunts galore , an interesting story line , great one-liners , a solid cast , a catchy musical score , and all the fun and adventure that you could squeeze into a two-hour thrill ride . 
if you don't enjoy this film , then you just don't like action movies , period ! 
if you're young , you'll enjoy its humor , its cool action sequences and its gross-out factor at times . 
if you're a little older , you'll appreciate the interesting plot line , the romance , and yes , the mountains of adventure . 
watching this movie made me feel like a kid again , dreaming and fantasizing about fighting the bad guys , travelling to different countries , making the impossible , possible ! 
harrison ford is perfect as the every-man with the brains of a scientist and the brawn of an outdoors adventurer , and spielberg manages to achieve the ideal balance of action , fun , adventure and humor . 
now if you really want to have a good time , check into this movie on the same night as its two sequels , rent a jug of iced coke , truckloads of nachos and salsa , an adventure hat and whip , and prepare to gag yourself into a world of action-movie heaven ! 
little known facts about this film and its stars : this picture was nominated for eight 1981 oscar nominations , including best picture . 
it lost that award to chariots of fire , but did manage to win for best art direction , best special effects , best film editing and best sound . 
actor tom selleck was originally cast as indiana jones , but was committed to his hit tv show , "" magnum p . i . "" . 
in filming the well of souls sequence , the producers scoured every pet shop in london and the south of england for every snake they could lay their hands on . 
hence there are snakes that are identifiable from many different geographical areas . 
however , once all the snakes were on set , it became clear that there were not nearly enough of them , so spielberg had several hoses cut into lengths , and these were used as well . 
looking closely , you can tell which are the real snakes and which are not . 
an early draft of the script had indy travelling to shanghai to recover a piece of the staff of ra . 
during his escape from the museum where it was housed , he sheltered from machine gun fire behind a giant rolling gong . 
also in the same script , indy and marion flee the chaos caused by the opening of the ark in a wild mine-cart chase sequence . 
both of these scenes were cut from the script , but ended up in 1984's indiana jones and the temple of doom . 
this film begins with a shot of a peak in the jungle which is reminiscent of the paramount pictures logo . 
the same type of opening is present in its sequels . 
jock's airplane at the beginning of the film has the registration number "" ob-cpo "" . 
this is a reference to obi-wan and c-3po from george lucas' star wars ( 9 . 5/10 ) . 
also , the hieroglyphics in the well of souls include engravings of r2-d2 and c-3po . 
they can be seen on a post to the right of indy and sallah as they remove the ark . 
the script originally included a long fight between a swordsman and indiana with his whip . 
as legend has it , actor harrison ford was suffering diarrhea at the time , and asked if the scene could be shortened . 
spielberg said the only way he could shorten it was if indy pulled out his gun and just shot the guy . 
the entire crew laughed and that's how it was filmed . 
when indy first falls in the well of souls and is face to face with the cobra , you can see the snake's reflection on the glass dividing it and harrison ford , also some fingerprints and stuff like that . 
when indy is dragging along the ground , hanging onto the nazi soldier's truck with the ark inside , you can see the pad that he's being dragged on . 
"
"1","`we run tings . 
tings don't run we . ' 
-sound advice from capone ( paul campbell ) to his squaddie ( or partner ) , floyd ( winston bell ) . 
jamaican film , shot entirely on video , featuring a standard cop movie plot mixed with a dash of john woo-styled brotherhood morals ( and a little gunplay ) . 
capone , a tough as nails super cop , gets a transfer back to his hometown of kingston after successfully taking down some gangsters that have broken into his home ( while he was with his lady ) and killed his partner in front of him . 
when he arrives , he discovers that the ghetto where he grew up has gotten worse , thanks mainly to the crime boss wonie ( jamaican film veteran carl bradshaw ) , so named because his left hand has been amputated and replaced by a grasping hook ) . 
capone discovers that wonie has been smuggling guns inside shipments of charity supplies for the area churches and , much to his disappointment , also finds out his childhood friend ratty ( mark danvers ) has been helping him . 
torn between doing his job and protecting his best friend , capone must make some hard decisions in order to make things right again . 
directed deftly by first time jamaican filmmaker chris browne ( assistant director for such american films as how stella got her groove back and instinct ) , one hardly notices the film was shot on video after a while . 
shots are handled so efficiently that they quickly take on the nuances of the aforementioned john woo films , although the action isn't as hyperkinetic as most of woo's films are . 
the action scenes are handled with a kind of flair though , and eventually begin to take on a life of their own ( beyond the hong kong films that they are obviously patterned after ) . 
the make-up effects are particularly good in these scenes as well , with flawless squib work on display from the effects team . 
the cast is superb and listening to their dialogue , spoken with thick jamaican accents ( half of which have to be subtitled because of their extensive use of slang ) , just adds to the interest . 
paul campbell , as the `loose cannon' capone , essays his role perfectly , displaying the right amount of menace and compassion at the right times . 
mark danvers evokes sympathy as ratty , the part-time gun smuggler who is also trying to help the community by building football fields and organizing block parties to bring people together . 
unfortunately , carl bradshaw is given the least to do and his character as the crime boss seems ineffective ( largely because his underlings seem to run all over him ) , but then again , that could be the way his character was intended to be portrayed . 
the music in the film is composed of all reggae songs , and the soundtrack was produced by grammy award winning artists , sly and robbie ( who have worked with the likes of the rolling stones , maxi priest , bob dylan , james brown , grace jones , herbie hancock , bootsy collins , and carly simon among others ) . 
the end credit song , `we run tings' , by the group red dragon , is pretty decent and carries on the theme of the movie established early on by the quote that opens this review . 
oddly enough , desmond ballentine ( who plays the character deportee ) is well known as a pioneer in the realm of `gangsta' reggae as the performer ninjaman , and he doesn't contribute a single song to the film ( that i could see ) , which is virtually unheard of here in the us . 
at the time of this writing , third world cop has been put into limited theatrical release in the us , coming off of a six-month box-office breaking run in jamaica , where it holds the position as highest grossing film of all time ( bringing in $21 million in jamaica , which is roughly $500 , 000 us ) . 
palm pictures ( the company that released the offbeat , but entertaining six-string samurai ) is the company releasing the film and considering that their main focus is the dvd market , i can imagine that a disc will be available once the film has left theaters . 
chris blackwell , founder of palm pictures , was also involved in the production of another jamaican box-office smash in 1981 entitled countryman , so i'd say he has a pretty good track record . 
overall , third world cop is a pretty entertaining homage to the films of john woo , ringo lam , tsui hark , and many other action films by directors from hong kong . 
if action films are your thing and you don't mind intermittent subtitles , then you can't go wrong with this film . 
the performances and the story are solid ( if only a little cliched ) and the action is tight . 
i'm not sure what the other jamaican films released in that country are like , but apparently third world cop's honors are well deserved . 
"
"1","at first glance , it appears that the home alone movies are brainless slapstick intended for those with minds of 8-year olds . 
that's true of home alone 2 and i'd bet money that it's true of home alone 3 ( opening soon ) . 
but home alone actually has a lot going for it , and the cartoon slapstick doesn't get in the way . 
the mcalisters , all 15 of them , are going to france for the holidays . 
four adults and eleven kids are spending the night together before heading to the airport en masse . 
the littlest kid , kevin , is the victim of the older kids' cruelty . 
kevin's patience runs out when he learns that his plain-cheese pizza has already been eaten , and he's going to have to starve . 
he attacks his big bully brother buzz , who had been teasing him . 
the fight disrupts the already-chaotic dinner , spilling milk and soft drinks all over the table , a few cousins , and an uncle . 
the knee-jerk reaction is for everyone to blame kevin . 
nobody came to his rescue when he was being teased , but they all point their fingers when he fights back . 
the ultimate punishment comes from mom ( catherine o'hara ) who sends him up to the spare bedroom in the attic for the night . 
on his way up the stairs , he tells her that "" families suck "" and that he hopes never to see any of his family again . 
that night the power goes out , knocking out the alarm clocks , so the mcalisters wake up in a big hurry to get to the airport . 
in a surprisingly plausible setup , kevin is mistakenly accounted for , and the family heads off without him . 
it's interesting that , in a subtle way , his parents never noticed him missing because of their deliberate desire to separate themselves from their children . 
first they delegate the headcount to an older sibling , and second , they put all the kids in coach while they fly first class . 
they're two-thirds of the way across the atlantic before they realize they are missing a child . 
meanwhile , kevin believes that somehow his wish has come true . 
he's finally rid of his family ! 
life is a dream come true . 
he can jump on the beds , watch r-rated movies , eat gobs of ice cream and potato chips , and dig through his big brother's secret box . 
slowly , the novelty wears off and he settles into the mundane . 
he grooms himself , he does the laundry , he goes shopping ( "" i bought some milk , eggs , and fabric softener "" ) . 
he also starts to miss his family , not just for their company , but for the security they bring . 
the furnace in the basement is a scary monster , the old man next door is a snow-shovel murderer , and two crooks are trying to break into his house . 
macaulay culkin is cute but he isn't much of an actor . 
still , we can see that kevin's character grows , thanks to some good direction and editing . 
for example , acting has little to do with the emotional impact of the scene where kevin searches out a seasonal santa at night , just as "" santa "" is getting in his car . 
kevin asks the man to pass on his request - he wants his family back - to the real santa . 
he learned how to deal with the furnace . 
you turn on the lights and it's not so scary anymore . 
he goes to a church one evening and there he sees the snow-shovel murderer , who actually turns out to be a nice man . 
they talk about their fears and kevin learns that age alone does not make you less afraid . 
finally , in the last 20 minutes , kevin confronts his last fear - the bandits , head on ( literally ) . 
this last act is full of violent comedic slapstick , and after the movie's genuine dramatic setup , it is dessert . 
it's a lot of fun , and it doesn't overwhelm the rest of the movie . 
on the whole , home alone is a great holiday movie . 
john williams' original score has the sound and feel of holiday music without the disadvantage of being overplayed at the malls , and the christmas setting can put you in the mood for those family gatherings . 
but it does have its flaws . 
the smallest problem is that culkin doesn't act very well . 
as i said before , he is cute , but repeated viewings reveal more about how columbus covered himself than about culkin's insight into his character . 
the biggest problem is that during the cartoony coda , the villains threaten kevin's life about five times . 
instead of "" i'm gonna get that kid "" they say "" i'm gonna kill that kid . "" 
some might argue that the tone is the same , but i strongly disagree . 
mixing comedy with specific and viable threats of murder is a sociopathic faux-pas . 
i'll probably never see home alone 3 , and i wish i had skipped home alone 2 , but i do enjoy home alone almost every year . 
don't let your impressions of the others detract from the original , which has much more to offer than cartoon slapstick . 
"
"1","-- comedy , rated pg , runs about 1 : 40 -- starring : john goodman , kathy moriarty , and a bunch of teenagers -- directed by joe dante and written by charles hass -- 
summary : lawrence woolsley ( john goodman ) brings his new horror film mant ! 
to premiere in key west during the height of the cuban missile crisis . 
he hopes to capitalize on the tense moment by providing an escape for the town . 
we see most of the events through the stories of four teenagers and how life affects them . 
quick and easy review : i really enjoyed matinee . 
the mixture of comedy and tension blended nicely . 
unlike many comedies this film tries , and succeeds , in getting past the stage of doing anything for a laugh . 
the makers of the film also cared about telling an intelligent story . 
the performances of all the principals are right on the mark , particularly john goodman as the schlock master . 
so i would definitely recommend this film to anyone looking for a light hearted , yet interesting way to spend a couple of hours . 
longer , more detailed review : [beware of spoilers] 
the primary reason i enjoyed this film was , that while being a comedy , the film also had an intelligent story to tell . 
too many comedies today subscribe to the the notion that a comedy need only make you laugh . 
you watch the movie , laugh a lot , leave the theatre and take nothing with you . 
matinee is not like that . 
i left the picture thinking about what i would do faced with the cuban missile crisis . 
i found myself wondering what would happen to the characters of the film . 
but most importantly , i found myself caring about what would happen to the characters . 
the comedy of the film centers around goodman , his character , and the film he brings to key west . 
i believe that goodman is one of the finest comedic actors in the business today . 
he is highly expressive both physically and vocally . 
i felt he at least deserved an oscar nomination for his work in barton fink . 
the other characters are often lost in a scene with him due to his commanding nature , however , while the star , goodman is actually not at the center of the film . 
the movie is really the story of the four teenagers , discovering who they are and what they want , against a background where at any minute it could all end . 
i thought the kids reaction were highly realistic . 
they tried to block it out , they tried to escape from the concerns of their world . 
unfortunately it kept creeping back in , particularly with the fear , and the chaos of the time . 
while the comedy centered on goodman , and the drama on the teens , there was a great deal of overlap . 
several aspects of the panic are shown in a humorous light . 
one example is a scene where people are fighting each other for the the last cans and boxes of food in a grocery store . 
if you think about it the threat of nuclear annihilation seems hardly to be the backdrop for a comedy , but it works here . 
another reason i like this film is that i like b- science fiction movies . 
one of my favorite films to go watch is plan 9 from outer space . 
 ( note i did not say it was one of my favorite movies , but one of my favorite to see . ) 
while mant ! 
never got made , many films like it were , and mant ! 
serves mostly as dante's homage to the b-films he loves . 
so again i would like to recommend matinee to anybody looking for a good , humorous story . 
this isn't a gag film like many other comedies but an intelligent , well-thought out , film about real people with real problems told in an often hilarious way . 
enjoy ! 
"
"1","when _star wars_ came out some twenty years ago , the image of traveling throughout the stars has become a commonplace image . 
when the millenium falcon moves throughout the stars , we see constellations , meteor showers , and cool space-ships . 
when han solo goes light speed , the stars change to bright lines , going towards the viewer in lines that converge at an invisible point . 
cool . 
_october sky_ offers a much simpler image--that of a single white dot , traveling horizontally across the night sky . 
was it really only forty years ago , when sputnik was launched , and that before then , no satellites ever existed ? 
have we become so technologically advanced that we have forgotten that it was nearly two generations ago where people stood outside to breathlessly see a then-technological achievement , even though it was from the russians ? 
it sounds hokey , but when that scene occurs near the beginning of _october sky_ , i found myself caught up with the enthusiasm of homer hickam , played by jake gyllenhaal . 
determined to make a dent in the space race , he becomes transfixed with his desire to make a rocket that could fly like the best of them . 
it is films like this that we know the ending as we buy the ticket . 
when lovely teacher miss riley ( played by laura dern ) , suggests that he enters his findings into the national science fair , we know exactly who is going to win . 
but the joy in a film like this is in the little details . 
for example , homer is clearly not the strongest student in his class . 
if he has any strengths whatsoever , it is an undeterring vision , and a good organizer . 
it means that he may have to lose his reputation by associating with the nerdiest kid in school , who knows more about rocket science than he does . 
it means that if his father forbids him to shoot rockets on company property ( that is , the entire coal-mining town ) , he must walk eight miles one way , just to set up the rockets , which will fail , fail , fail , and fail again . 
homer+s dad is played by chris cooper , a favorite actor of mine since _lone star_ . 
here he plays the antithesis of the character he played in _matewan_ : instead of organizing union rallies , he is the head of the coal-miners , who is constantly wringing his hands against the unions . 
this is will be one of the great unnoticed performances of the year : note how multi-dimensional his character is . 
he is his son+s last nemesis , as one who most likely interferes with his son+s dreams . 
but he truly loves his son , and wants to see him succeed the only way he knows how . 
through coal-mining . 
because of his character , we can see how far we+ve come . 
the revolution of modern technology has allowed for us to see society advanced at a rate far faster than any generation before us . 
we don+t understand that there were the generations from the industrial revolution who knew of no other way to raise a family . 
the paradigm was shifting under the father+s feet , and he knew of no other life . 
so _october sky_ , far from being merely a feel-good inspirational film , offers much food for thought . 
and this is the best type of inspirational film ; the one that you take something with you . 
btw , the final image of the film is just as simple , is as strong a contrast as the aforementioned horizontal-moving white dot against the night-sky background . 
another commonplace image , to be sure , but it must have been breathtaking forty years ago . 
"
"1","warning : contains what the matrix is . 
rated r for sci-fi violence . 
starring : keanu reeves , laurence fishburne , joe panteliano 
some may be disappointed with the matrix . 
i'll tell you i was . 
i sat there and sat there and sat there waiting for something to happen . 
now wait wait , i know most of you loved it , and i'm not saying i didn't like it . 
what i'm saying is the first half was extremely slow . 
now seeing the trailer it makes you think the whole entire movie is one big special effects show . 
don't be fooled , this movie has a big story . 
and big chunks of talky moments . 
but i will admit the special effects and the acting were above par , deserving the rating above . 
ok now to the story . 
well this may take a while . 
ok first of all , our world we live in now , is not the real world , actually we live inside a computer generated world known as the matrix . 
a man played by keanu reeves is about to find that out , when is kidnapped and almost coaxed to go into the real world . 
he does so , and finds out that he can do anything , be anything he wants to be . 
but he has to fight a 'matrix skipping' bad guy , who wants to send him back to his own world or destroy him . 
laurence fishburne , his guide of sorts plays his character well as does keanu reeves . 
but i sat in the theatre for over and hour wondering where all the special effects were . 
yeah there were some in the first half but not enough . 
the trailer for this movie was really decieving making people think that this was a special effects laden movie . 
now for the second half , it is explosive , and saves the movie . 
some of the special effects and fighting were breathtaking . 
the sound , the music , and all the effects were effective , and the last hour kept us entertained . 
but with a running time of 2 hours and 20 minutes , this movie is at least 40 minutes too long . 
one would have wished for a better 'matrix' , but i do have to say , i did like it and i was entertained . 
"
"1","national lampoon's animal house , made in 1978 and set in 1962 , remains one of the -- no , fuck that noise -- * the * funniest movie ever made . 
and this isn't just my opinion , either ; everybody knows this , and that's why about a gazillion inferior rip-offs have been made , trying to duplicate its success . 
 ( pcu anyone ? 
and the first person to bring up glory daze gets decked . ) 
animal house takes place at the fictional faber college , circa 1962 , where the omega frat calls the shots . 
these guys are wholesome , clean-cut , model-citizens . . . 
i . e . 
a bunch of assholes . 
greg , their leader , is going out with mandy pepperidge , but since the silly bastard doesn't believe in pre-marital sex , their relationship never goes further than a quick jack-off under the stars . 
neidermeyer is the supreme-bozo of the bunch , walking around with his dick out kicking freshman ass and trying to impress the muff . 
also hanging around these losers is babs , future universal studios employee and serious bitch . 
now let's just take a peak next door , at the delta house . 
over here , anything goes : you wanna throw shit out the window ? 
okay . 
you wanna crush a bunch of beer cans on your forehead and pour honey-mustard all over your chest ? 
go right ahead . 
the frat's leaders are otter and boon ( tim matheson and peter riegert ) . 
otter is the ladies' man , going out with another girl every night , and boon is the comedian . 
he's got a steady-date , katy ( karen allen ) , but she's sick of playing second-fiddle to a bottle of j . d . 
then there are the others : pinto , a wimp ; flounder , a blimp ; d . day , a biker ; stork , who may or may not have brain-damage ; and last but not least . . . 
bluto ! 
bluto , played by the late , great john belushi , is the man . 
he's the kind of guy who slugs back entire fifths of whiskey then proclaim , "" i needed that . "" 
the kind of guy who puts a cream-filled snowball into his mouth , puffs up his cheeks and spits it out , and then says "" i'm a zit -- get it ? "" 
the story is as follows : the omegas are getting the deltas kicked off campus . 
the deltas , knowing that fighting the omegas is stupid , decide to go out with style , throwing a wild toga party and ruining the homecoming parade . 
this is the fucnniest movie int he history of the world . 
do yourself a favor and go see it . 
"
"1","every year , hollywood crowns a new "" it boy "" --a young actor pegged for major movie stardom . 
inheriting the mantle from last year's "" winner , "" matthew mcconaughey , is matt damon , and , like mcconaughey , he proves to be more than just a fresh young face , as evidenced in two radically different projects currently in release--john grisham's the rainmaker and good will hunting . 
damon has his first major starring role , a la mcconaughey , in a john grisham adaptation--in this case , francis ford coppola's take on the rainmaker . 
damon plays wet-behind-the-ears attorney rudy baylor , who , immediately after passing the bar exam , finds himself representing the mother ( mary kay place ) of a terminally ill young man ( john whitworth ) in a big-league suit against a negligent insurance company . 
while rudy's ( and the film's ) main concern is this case , he also finds time to protect a young wife ( claire danes ) from her abusive husband ( melrose placer andrew shue , in a mercifully brief role ) . 
written for the screen and directed by coppola , the rainmaker is the best grisham film yet mostly because it does not take itself too seriously . 
coppola's most notable--and effective--contribution to the tried-and-true grisham formula is a sense of humor about itself , which largely comes in the presence of danny devito ( as rudy's unlicensed co-counsel ) and golden globe nominee jon voight ( as the insurance company's hotshot attorney ) . 
the inclusion of the battered wife subplot feels rather superfluous , but danes is as superb as always . 
then , of course , there is damon , who nicely juggles the weighty ( the insurance case , the spousal abuse ) and the humorous ( rudy's often comical naivete ) requirements of his role without missing a beat . 
as good as he is in the rainmaker , damon showcases the depth of his talent in good will hunting , directed by gus van sant and written by actor ben affleck and damon himself . 
damon plays the title character , will hunting , a troubled young construction worker/janitor at mit who also happens to be a supergenius . 
in an attempt to steer this brilliant young mind in the right direction , an mit math professor ( stellan skarsgard ) taps his old college friend , community college psychologist sean mcguire ( robin williams ) , to counsel the abrasive , standoffish will and try to help him come to terms with his turbulent life . 
good will hunting is the touchy-feely enterprise its plot synopsis suggests , but to simply dismiss it as that would be to discount the true emotional chords affleck and damon's intelligent script touches . 
even though no one ( and , if so , _very_ few people ) can directly relate to will's burden of superhuman intelligence , the insecurities he suffers are universal . 
the material is brought to life by the terrific ensemble of actors . 
williams delivers a nice dramatic turn ; affleck , a hot up-and-coming actor himself ( chasing amy ) , turns up in a warm and charming performance as will's best friend ; and the ever-appealing minnie driver shines as will's harvard-schooled love interest . 
the clear standout in the cast , though , is damon , who bravely does not soften will's prickly nature but has such a natural ease with the audience that it is hard _not_ to care for him . 
so many names come and go with the fluctuations of the hollywood hype machine , but based on his impressive work in john grisham's the rainmaker and especially good will hunting , it is a safe bet that matt damon is one name we will be hearing a lot more of in the years to come . 
"
"1","synopsis : leonard shelby ( pearce ) is a former insurance investigator on the trail of the man who killed his wife . 
leonard has only a few clues to the murderer's identity ; to make matters worse , he suffers from a condition which inhibits the creation of short-term memories , meaning that leonard is always forgetting what happened just minutes earlier . 
because of this , leonard is forced to rely on notes he leaves for himself . 
 "" memento "" traces the investigation back in time from its apparent culmination . 
review : "" memento "" is the sort of movie i wish i'd written ; i can think of no higher praise than that . 
i am envious that nolan has concocted such a brilliant , involved , original movie as this . 
an instant film noir classic , "" memento "" is virtually flawless . 
the script is unlike any i have ever seen -- a notable achievement in these days of recycled hollywood homogeneity . 
although the idea of starting at the "" conclusion "" of the plotline and then moving backward in time to the "" start "" is not entirely new , never before have i witnessed it executed with such flair and coherence . 
 "" memento "" is endlessly exciting and inventive , a rare story which keeps the viewers guessing during the film itself , and mulling over its connotations long after leaving the theatre . 
and it is not merely an exercise in cerebrality ; there is plenty of action and an unexpected dose of humour to keep the proceedings lively . 
nolan's direction is equally effective , never losing its crispness and clarity despite "" memento "" 's challenging gimmick . 
and to top everything off , all the performances rise to the occasion . 
pierce is terrific as the troubled leonard ; moss shows great range as enigmatic natalie ; and pantoliano's teddy achieves a splendidly affable yet sinister quality . 
 "" memento "" may be the year's best screenplay , and is certainly amongst the top theatrical attractions of 2001 . 
"
"1","earth is a harsh , unconsoling drama about the time when india gained independence from britain and the ensuing turmoil that engulfed the subcontinent . 
people who supposedly loved the same land and the same god found themselves in bitter conflict , as the country divided into factions fighting in the streets : indian and pakistani ; muslim , hindu , sikh , parsee . 
the story takes place in lahore , which was indian before partition , and pakistani afterward , regardless of what its citizens might call themselves . 
the action is seen through the eyes of lenny ( maaia sethna ) , a young parsee girl , but it is really about her nanny , shanta . 
shanta has a small circle of male admirers . 
two of the men are suitors : hasan ( rahul khanna ) , a hindu , and dil navaz ( aamir khan ) , a muslim . 
the others--sikh , hindu , muslim--are older ; some are married ; but all appreciate shanta , who is played by the stirringly beautiful nandita das . 
 ( she also starred in deepa mehta's previous film , fire , the first part of a thematic trilogy which will conclude with water . ) 
in an early scene , the men are sitting in a park talking with shanta and lenny ; political tension in the country is growing as the day of independence nears . 
one of the men remarks , jokingly , that their little group is probably one of the last places in the city where the different religions can still get along . 
he is wrong : the men make barbed little comments to each other , spoken like jokes , but with an undercurrent of fanaticism . 
the tenor of these exchanges grows darker and more bitter as the movie progresses . 
it is easy to perceive , in these squabbles , the trajectory which ends in mass violence and slaughter . 
the group around shanta represents , in a sense , a united india , and shanta herself the ideal motherland--one which all love , which inspires hindu , muslim , and sikh to live peacably together . 
but the circle around shanta is sundered , as is the state . 
a sikh is persecuted , hides , then flees . 
another man is murdered . 
the group of friends will not meet again . 
the movie is rife with images of breakage and destruction : a plate shattered on the floor , a stuffed toy torn apart by an upset child , and , most brutally , when the tension escalates into violence , a man is held down , tied between two cars , and ripped in half by the opposing movement of the vehicles . 
it is a visceral and effective metaphor for a country which is being destroyed just as painfully . 
the crux of earth's plot is the transformation undergone by dil navaz . 
his sisters are killed in brutal fashion , by hindus , because they are muslim . 
dil navaz seeks solace from shanta , and asks in desperation that she marry him . 
but she loves hasan , and tenderly refuses dil navaz's offer . 
the combination of familial anguish and romantic rejection twists inside him , and it is easy to see how he is seduced by the growing mob mentality : the muslim cause gives him a motive to vent his anger and hate . 
despite the things he later does , it is to the credit of earth that it does not simply denounce dil navaz and those like him , but shows how circumstances can make decent enough men do monstrous things . 
the conclusion--the consequence of dil navaz's transformation--is rather abrupt . 
the story earth tells does not end . 
it just stops . 
it is an appropriate finish : giving us closure would have imparted , at least on an aesthetic level , a sense of resolution , of satisfaction . 
but there was no resolution for india and pakistan--they have been at war , on a small or large scale , for decades . 
since the personal dramas in earth mirror the political struggles of a nation , it is only right that those dramas should have no terminus . 
there is no healing to be had , no closure , on any level ( despite the needless , tacked-on ending , with voice-over narration from lenny as an adult , framing the story ) . 
earth is , in some ways , an unexceptional movie . 
it does not reinvent the wheel , following instead the standard pattern of historical dramas . 
but deepa mehta's directon is assured , and the issues she addresses run deep . 
earth does for india what movies like zhang yimou's to live and tian zhuangzhuang's the blue kite did for china : they show us the agonies endured by unremarkable people who had the bad luck to be caught up and smashed in the crucible of history . 
such films strike me as inherently valuable , even when flawed . 
they may be biased or inaccurate , but they bear the weight of human hardship , and this confers on them a nobility and gravity which other , more inventive films , often lack . 
it is notable that all three movies were banned in their native countries : the events shown may have happened decades ago , but they still touch a nerve . 
the issues tackled in earth have a particular urgency in light of the nuclear test bombings that took place last year . 
in the near future , india and pakistan may launch nuclear missiles at each other . 
at the time of the tests i had some understanding of the reasons why this might happen ; after seeing earth , i have a much , much better understanding . 
"
"1","up until about a year ago , john travolta's career consisted of those "" look who's talking "" movies ( notice how they never called them look who's talented ) and the 1991 bomb shout ( which was bad enough to make most people scream ) . 
but somewhere along the line , travolta got the starring role in the tarantino masterpiece pulp fiction and his career soared once again . 
weird how someone whose career was on par with the bee gees back in 1978 would experience fame and fortune once again , while barry , robin and maurice gibb could do no better than a 1993 straight-to-the-cutout-bin album aptly named "" size isn't everything "" ( and of course , they learned that sales are everything ) . 
but now travolta's back on the hollywood scene once again , and i think we all know why . 
four words : contract with the devil . 
and this has nothing to do with newt gingrich's "" contract with america . "" 
no , satan is much more humane . 
anyway , yes , travolta has sold his soul to the hairy host of the netherworld . 
how do i know ? 
i own the document in question . 
amazing what you can buy at those collector's shops for a few hundred dollars , isn't it ? 
get shorty continues in the vein of pulp fiction , with travolta as crime minion chili palmer . 
he goes to collect some of the mafia's money from a b-grade director ( gene hackman ) and suddenly finds out he wants out of the mob game and into the movie game . 
sure , a ruthless criminal like him is far too honest to make it in hollywood , but i guess that's beside the point . 
palmer is determined to get hackman's next project made , so he sets out to convince big star martin weir ( danny devito ) to star in the movie , bringing along down-and-out horror actress karen flores ( rene russo ) , who has already had affairs with hackman and devito . 
it doesn't take a las vegas odds-maker to predict that she and travolta will soon be hitting the sheets as well , after the customary sexual tension and denial , which has been used in every comedy from "" who's the boss ? "" 
to speechless . 
it works in this case , unlike "" who's the boss ? "" 
although it's interesting to note that tony danza has signed a contract with the devil also . 
complicating matters somewhat are the mobsters who have backed hackman's other films and want in on this one too , along with travolta's mob boss trying to track him down for defecting . 
get shorty is by no means on the same level as pulp fiction , despite the obvious similarities . 
this movie doesn't have near the amount of originality or depth as pulp fiction but it is definitely one of the most entertaining movies i've seen this year ( yes , even better than halloween vi ) . 
get shorty is my kind of movie , one that mixes intelligent humor with action and violence . 
i'm definitely going to have to check out the novel it was based on . 
are you getting this , shorty ? 
"
"1","i was fortunate enough to attend an advance screening for the upcoming thriller conspiracy theory . 
this was , of course , a big deal for me because reviewing movies is basically just a hobby for me and i never get a chance at something like this . 
not only did i get to see an advance screening , i was able to see an advance screening of a * very good * movie . 
the very fast-paced film stars mel gibson as jerry fletcher , a fast-talking , witty , comical taxi driver in new york city . 
gibson's performance is terrific , and his character is similar to that of martin riggs in the lethal weapon films . 
gibson again teams up with richard donner , as he did in the lethal weapon films and maverick , and this time around , the combination works even better . 
the character of jerry fletcher is indeed unique . 
try to imagine a toned-downed version of travis bickle who , this time around , is a jittery guy with knowledge of government conspiracy cover-ups . 
if you can imagine that , then you've basically got jerry fletcher . 
in many ways , i was surprised by this movie . 
to begin with , i was surprised at how good it was . 
don't get me wrong , it's not going to be accepting any gold trophies next spring , but it was a very enjoyable movie . 
secondly , i was surprised at mel gibson's performance . 
he provided a fantastic performance . 
the previews of this film led me to believe it was an all-out action flick , which after viewing , it was almost the opposite in a certain sense . 
gibson's character has an almost uncountable number of one-liners , hilarious situations , and his character is one that the audience tends to side with throughout the film . 
for instance , jerry's apartment ( and especially his security ) is memorable . 
and last , i was surprised at how good the plot is . 
writer brian helgeland has created a terrific story , and when watching this film , you are left to wonder if all of jerry fletcher's far-fetched ( or so they seem at first ) conspiracy theories are helgeland's own opinions . 
mel gibson isn't the only stand-out in the film . 
julia roberts is very good in her performance as alice sutton , the department of justice employee who can't seem to stay away from jerry fletcher , who continually visits alice in hopes that she will do something about his theories . 
he also seems obsessed and in love with her . 
but whenever he approaches her with another one of his theories , she shrugs him and his beliefs off , continually noting that one day she is going to slap a restraining order on him . 
jerry , obviously determined to continually seek out the truth , continues to research information for his next conspiracy theory , which will be printed in his newsletter ( same title as the movie ) . 
although he only has five subscribers , he puts a large amount of time and effort into his work , and publishes his next edition . 
very soon after he does so , he is abducted and tortured by a sinister man who refers to himself as dr . jonas ( patrick stewart ) . 
after barely escaping alive , jerry is forced to turn to the only person he can trust : alice sutton . 
the remainder of the film is almost always fast-paced and full of action and suspense , with jerry's life being constantly put into jeopardy . 
and more along the way , the audience ( and alice ) learn more and more about jerry's life . 
many things are explained throughout this film , both to the characters and to the audience . 
for instance , the meaning of the book "" the catcher in the rye "" and its ties to assassins , the reason lone gunmen have three names ( e . g . 
lee harvey oswald and james earl ray ) , and the real truth behind the grateful dead . 
make sure listen closely throughout the film , as jerry is constantly throwing out interesting tidbits such as the above . 
definitely , when conspiracy theory hits theaters august 8th , make sure you are standing in line to see it . 
i am nearly positive everyone should enjoy this film , especially if you are into an action-thriller with witty dialogue and numerous suspenseful situations . 
and even if you aren't , you should still like this film . 
"
"1","the disney studios has its formula for annual , full-length animated features down so pat that it's hard to remember which one you're watching at any given moment . 
 "" mulan , "" their 36th animated adventure , is the latest case in point . 
once again we have a tale focused around a strong central character ( female as usual ; disney is one of the few studios whose heroines--ariel , belle , pocahontas , and now mulan--get equal screen time with their heroes in recent years ) . 
add the requisite love interest and a wise-cracking sidekick or two , pep up the soundtrack with a handful of strategically placed show tunes ( an introspective number by a pool or looking in a mirror , a rousing anthem , a cutesy , montage-backed crowd pleaser ) , pose a few threats to our engaging lead , and tie things all up neatly by the closing credits . 
bob's your uncle ! 
better make that walt's your uncle . . . 
kids will no doubt go ga-ga over "" mulan "" ( or at least the fast food tie-ins ) , but familiarity can , after a while , leave grown-ups--this reviewer included--wishing for a little more . 
maybe an animated feature without--shock ! 
horror ! --the 
songs , for example ? 
or maybe a film in which a cheeky chihuahua called pepe longs to become a matador from trinidad ? ? 
how about simply ditching the sidekicks altogether ? 
it isn't gonna happen . 
like disney's previous entries , "" mulan "" is slow to make its mark . 
the animation tends to suffer from some slackness in the early going and the humorous element , a madcap dragon wannabe ( in the guise of a loquacious lizard with a case of dry mouth , courtesy eddie murphy's animated vocal talents ) , plays like an inappropriate if necessary ( formula-wise ) afterthought . 
however , after about an hour everything comes together and the formula , like it or not , clicks . 
highlights include a spectacular cavalry charge on a snow-covered pass ( which , due to the sophistication of today's computer-generated imagery , is hard to tell from the real thing ) , a memorable , show-stopping musical interlude ( "" i'll make a man out of you , "" penned by matthew wilder and david zippel ) , and last but not least , mulan herself . 
voiced by ming-na wen , mulan is disney's strongest female character to date . 
when hordes of huns pour over china's great wall and threaten to overthrow the imperial palace , the emperor decrees that every family in the land dispatch one man to serve in the imperial army . 
since mulan's father is infirm , but proud , the high-spirited mulan steals her father's armor and , incognito , signs up to face the mongolian menace . 
attracted to , but not distracted by , her commanding officer shang ( b . d . 
wong ) , mulan outmatches her fellow combatants in smarts , wit , and physical ability . 
she's a woman of the '90s a couple of millennia ahead of her time . 
"
"1","i had been expecting more of this movie than the less than thrilling twister . 
twister was good but had no real plot and no one to simpithize with . 
but twister had amazing effects and i was hoping so would volcano 
volcano starts with tommy lee jones at emo . 
he worrys about a small earthquake enough to leave his daughter at home with a baby sitter . 
there is one small quake then another quake . 
then a geologist points out to tommy that its takes a geologic event to heat millions of gallons of water in 12 hours . 
a few hours later large amount of ash start to fall . 
then . . . . it 
starts . 
the volcanic eruption . . . . 
i liked this movie . . . but 
it was not as great as i hoped . 
i was still good none the less . 
it had excellent special effects . 
the best view . . . the 
helecopters flying over the streets of volcanos . 
also . . . there were interesting side stories that made the plot more interesting . 
so . . . it was good ! ! 
"
"1","disney's 35th animated feature-- a retooling of the olympian legend crossed with , well , the superman story-- is surprisingly soft at the center . 
great wit , great art , and a great villain ( james woods as hades , lord of the underworld and local lounge act ) can't quite stifle the yawns induced by a bland hero , his colorfully monotonous sidekick ( danny devito as the satyrical trainer phil ) , and a largely unremarkable soundtrack . 
 ( none of the alan menken/david zippel tunes are particular- ly noteworthy . 
some lack lyrical snap . 
others need more memorable melodies . 
boring ballads we expect , but boring production numbers , too ? ) 
so , hercules is a bit of a long sit , but you won't stay bored . 
the highlights include a nifty round of animated action ( herc battling a cgi hydra ) , a steady stream of anachronisms ( "" somebody call ix-i-i "" ) and pop references ( "" let's get ready to rumble ! "" ) a la aladdin , and several long-overdue jabs at the mouse's marketing and merchandising depart- ments . 
while not as rock-solid as hunchback , it's a still a new world of improvement over pocohontas . 
directed by ron clements and john musker , with voice credits including tate donovan , susan egan , bob goldthwait , matt frewer , samantha eggar , paul shaffer , and , as lighting bolt zeus , rip torn , who's having a very good summer , also appearing in trial and error and men in black . 
"
"1","the computer-animated comedy "" shrek "" is designed to be enjoyed on different levels by different groups . 
for children , it offers imaginative visuals , appealing new characters mixed with a host of familiar faces , loads of action and a barrage of big laughs ( including numerous gags related to body functions and yucky substances , apparently a requisite in contemporary family films ) . 
for adults , it's a fractured fairy tale packed with rude jokes that will sail over the heads of the kids . 
all in all , "" shrek "" is a snappy ride , although there are a couple of points i found disturbing . 
but first the basics . 
based very loosely on a 1990 children's story , "" shrek "" follows several momentous days in the life of the title character , a rotund green ogre voiced by mike myers in that pleasant scottish accent he is so fond of using . 
shrek is a grumpy fellow living a solitary life deep in the swamp , until a local nobleman disturbs his peace . 
petty tyrant lord farquaad ( take away the "" awk "" in the middle and you have the basis of a string of impolite one-liners ) owns the land on which shrek resides . 
he proceeds to turn the ogre's yard into an ellis island for storybook characters when he banishes the fanciful beings from his castle . 
as a result , shrek finds himself surrounded by legends like the three blind mice , pinocchio , the big bad wolf , the seven dwarfs , and the three bears , to name but a few . 
an enraged shrek storms to the castle , only to find farquaad ( john lithgow ) ready to bargain . 
lord obnoxious wants to become king and the magic mirror from "" snow white "" has shown him the way . 
all he has to do is rescue a damsel in distress and make her his wife . 
the mirror unveils three choices in a presentation straight out of "" the dating game "" ( when snow white is shown , the cheeky announcer purrs , "" even though she lives with seven men , she's not easy ! "" ) 
farquaad selects the lovely princess fiona ( cameron diaz ) and offers shrek a deal : if the ogre snatches fiona from the dragon-protected , lava moat-filled castle in which she is held captive and brings her to the throne , the lord will allow the fairy tale pests to move back on his grounds . 
shrek reluctantly agrees and sets off on his quest , accompanied by a motor-mouthed donkey ( eddie murphy ) determined to make the green grump his best friend . 
they finally hook up with the princess , only to learn she is not the helpless maiden they expected to meet . 
for the matter , the dragon offers a few surprises as well . 
the movie references a great many other flicks , from "" babe "" ( "" that'll do , donkey . 
that'll do "" ) to "" the graduate . "" 
but the lion's share of the jokes come at the expense of the wonderful world of disney . 
the public-domain characters made into icons in various disney films take their hits ? pinocchio is referred to as a "" possessed toy "" and when shrek spies a sleeping snow white in his cabin , he bellows , "" get that dead broad off the table ! "" 
 ? but the biggest slams come when shrek visits farquaad's royal domicile , which closely resembles a certain magic kingdom , from its souvenir stands and queue lines to a display of animatronic figures that sing the palace rules in a relentlessly peppy tune that sounds a lot like "" it's a small world . "" 
which brings me to disturbing point number one . 
i laughed at all the disney swipes , but found the mentality behind them a bit sad . 
the acrimony between dreamworks honcho jeff katzenberg and disney big wheel michael eisner is well known . 
for years the two companies have tried to sabotage each other's film and video releases by issuing similar competing productions on the same day . 
and now we have katzenberg using an entire movie to attack his former employer . 
here's a suggestion for the two boys : grow up ! 
put the past behind you ! 
there's room in the sandbox for both of you and if you farquaads can't play nice , then go to your rooms ! 
the other area i found troubling came in the portrayal of lord farquaad . 
beyond all the irreverence , "" shrek "" actually has a message : people should learn to look beyond physical appearances , because true beauty lies within . 
it's a lovely notion , but the film betrays its own moral by incessantly taking cheap shots at farquaad's diminutive stature . 
do we really need a family film reinforcing the idea that mocking short people is acceptable ? 
the pompous , selfish behavior of farquaad is enough to make him a target for zingers . 
adding short jokes is simply mean . 
still , "" shrek "" is a rollicking good time . 
the computer animation is mostly impressive ( although several key characters look like animated rubber squeeze toys and the human movements are often jerky ) , the voice work is strong ( particularly from eddie murphy ) , the laughs come fast and furious , and the moral , tainted though it may be , is a good one . 
to trot out a clich ? , "" shrek "" is fun for all ages . 
parents , though , should remind their young ones during the ride home that taunting others because they are short , tall , skinny , fat , etc . is a bad thing . 
"
"1","after watching the first ten minutes of this japanese film , you will never eat a bowl of ramen the same way again . 
there is a scene where an old man is teaching a young one how to eat the soupy bowl of noodles , as a master would teach an eager apprentice . 
 "" you caress the noodles with the chopsticks , "" he says , "" then put the roast pork on the side of the bowl and apologize to it by saying , 'see you soon . ' "" 
of course , it's meant to be a parody , but there is an earnestness underneath the silliness that makes you take it with a certain degree of sobriety . 
you begin to appreciate the food as not merely something you eat , not something you like , not something you enjoy , but rather something you experience . 
experiencing it is a process which engages all of the senses , fulfilling each one on its own terms and weaving them so that the total is a pleasure that is more than the sum of its parts . 
trust me , you really want to go find a noodle shop at this point . 
juzo itami's tampopo brings the same sense of the serious parody of food to the forefront by making the story follow the pattern of an american western , set in modern day japan . 
a stranger , goro ( tsutomu yamazaki ) , comes into town and finds tampopo ( nobuko miyamoto ) , the proprietor of a small , hole-in-the-wall noodle shop , trying to fend off the insults of the local strongman , pisken ( rikiya yasuoka ) . 
goro , to defend the honor of this woman and her noodles , gets into a fight with the ringleader and his henchmen , emerging bloodied , but victorious . 
goro finds that tampopo's ambition is to have a shop that people would flock to from far away , just to eat a bowl of her ramen . 
the problem is , her fare is something less than popular , and less than appetizing . 
however , goro agrees to help tampopo in her quest , and in the process they seek the wisdom of an elderly noodle expert , enlist the aid of a wealthy patron , and make friends with the former enemy . 
this film is filled with many little scenes which are absolute gems . 
take , for example , when tampopo tries to buy the recipe for a delicious soup from another shop owner . 
the price is too high , but the owner of the store next door will secretly sell it to her for a more affordable sum . 
tampopo meets him at his store late at night , and he leads her to a back room . 
she protests , thinking that perhaps this man has ulterior motives , but he insists . 
just when she is about to bolt for the exit , he shows her a small gap in the wall adjoining his store with the noodle shop next door . 
she peers through and takes notes as she watches the cook make the soup for the next day , her face filled with a joy that can be felt by the audience . 
this scene , while comical , is very effective at filling the viewer with a sense of trepidation , then of relief and discovery . 
there's also an interesting scene where goro introduces tampopo and her son to a bunch of street people who , despite their economic trappings , are all gourmets and master sommeliers . 
we even watch as one of them sneaks into the kitchen of a restaurant and expertly prepares a french omelet . 
the scene is meant to bring a laugh , but it also says that no matter whether people are rich or poor , food is something which everyone has in common , and the enjoyment of food is an experience shared by all . 
there are also a number of unrelated vignettes appearing throughout the film , which help to illustrate and accentuate the role of food in people's lives . 
a particularly effective one involves a wife and mother being tended to in her home by a doctor . 
surrounded by her children , she is obviously in her last hours of life . 
her husband comes home , and seeing her worsened condition , demands that she get up and make dinner . 
the viewer knows the husband's intention is not to be mean ; he is desperate for the normalcy of which he and his family has obviously been deprived , and the wife making dinner is an essential part of this . 
in a near miracle , the wife drags herself to the kitchen and prepares a quick meal , then brings it to her awaiting family . 
as the family eats , she looks on them and smiles . 
preparing food for her family is a joy and a comfort to her , and for a brief moment , she too enjoys the normalcy . 
then she falls over , dead . 
for a moment , the family is stunned , but then the father yells at the children , "" keep eating ! 
this is the last meal your mother ever made ! "" 
crying as they do so , the family finishes the meal . 
the scene is comical , awkward , moving , and beautiful . 
by including the vignettes , itami ran the risk of creating a disjointed film , but surprisingly , they do not interrupt the pacing of the main storyline . 
instead , they even help contribute to the idea that tampopo's goal of being able to serve exceptional food is worthy and even noble . 
because the film parodies a western , the construction of the plot is fairly predictable , but is still enjoyable as we watch the familiar way in which the "" good guys "" come together for the final showdown . 
in this case , the showdown is against the ramen . 
if they eat tampopo's ramen , soup and all , tampopo knows she has succeeded . 
it's pretty obvious what the outcome will be , but when a film changes your whole perspective on something you consume every day of your life , you can afford to cut it a little slack . 
"
"1","there's an old saying that states something about leaving the best for last . 
george lucas certainly followed that adage when crafting the original star wars trilogy . 
return of the jedi , the final installment of the series , is easily the most innovative , action-packed , and entertaining of the three films . 
the dark , eerie atmosphere that oozed from every frame of the empire strikes back is gone . 
instead , for return of the jedi , we have good triumphing decisively over evil , a resolution to a love triangle , and walking teddy bears . 
even darth vader doesn't seem very intimidating this time around . 
with the arrival of the emperor ( an apparition-like creature played by ian mcdiarmid ) , vader has turned into somewhat of a henchman . 
return of the jedi picks up at an unspecified time after the conclusion of the empire strikes back . 
luke skywalker ( mark hamill ) , princess leia ( carrie fisher ) , lando calrissian , ( billy dee williams ) , chewbacca ( peter mayhew ) , c3p0 ( anthony daniels ) and r2-d2 ( kenny baker ) are on a rescue mission to luke's home planet of tatooine . 
their goal : to save han solo ( harrison ford ) from the clutches of the intergalactic gangster jabba the hutt . 
it is at jabba's home , a creepy-looking stone fortress guarded by hog-nosed beasts , that most of the added special effects come into play . 
from a hysterical scene involving a music group to the dreaded beast outside jabba's sand barge , the effects are top notch . 
as soon as han is freed from his cryo-freeze and rescued from the clutches of the evil jabba the hutt , it's back to outer space , where the rebel alliance is about to face the empire's newest threat : a second , more powerful death star , that , if activated , could spell doom for anyone who stands against the emperor . 
so , while the fleet prepares for the final battle , luke and company travel to the forest moon of endor to knock out the shield that defends the death star against all attacks . 
there , they are befriended by the ewoks , the teddy bear-like native race , and luke , fearing that his presence is endangering the group , turns himself over to vader . 
return of the jedi has some interesting elements . 
the scenes which pitted luke against the emperor and vader are suitably tense and well-acted . 
from a technical point-of-view , the space battles are amazing , easily hindering anything depicted in the previous films . 
not only are there many , many more ships , but their speed and range of movement have been dramatically improved . 
on one level , return of the jedi is almost worth watching for the special effects . 
in the special edition , even more ships are added , making the final space battle incredibly fun to watch . 
the acting in return of the jedi is stronger than in the previous films . 
by now ( or then - 1983 ) , mark hamill , harrison ford , and carrie fisher have all matured in their on-screen personas . 
the chemistry amongst the trio is terrific . 
as in empire , billy dee williams gives us another human hero to root for . 
newcomer ian mcdiarmid plays the emperor as a suitably creepy , cunning , and evil creature , although he's not as imposing as vader was in star wars . 
although it was great fun watching star wars and the empire strikes back on the big screen , return of the jedi generates a greater sense of enjoyment . 
with the spectacular , new special effects , the adorable ewoks , the sinister jabba the hutt , the evil emperor , the same old millenium falcon , darth vader's incredible betrayal , the destruction of the new death star , and the always lovable yoda , return of the jedi concludes one of the greatest trilogies ever made with a huge bang . 
congratulations to george lucas , whose innovative mind entertains us now and will continue to entertain generations to come . 
 , 
"
"1","why do so many children's films treat their target audience with utter contempt ? 
too many of those who write or direct for children's movies assume that the kids just can't handle serious , thoughtful discussions on meaningful issues . 
 "" the iron giant , "" which was directed and co-written by brad bird , late of such animated series as "" the simpsons "" and "" king of the hill , "" assumes that not only can children handle such discussions , but that they can do so while being entertained at the same time . 
 "" the iron giant "" holds absolutely no contempt for the young people in the audience , making it a film that's enjoyable for both children and adults alike . 
hogarth hughes ( voice of eli marienthal ) is a spirited young lad who lives with his hard-working single mother , annie ( jennifer aniston ) , in a small town in maine . 
after staying up late and watching scary movies on a night his mother is away , hogarth treks out into the forest to investigate what has stolen his antenna and ruined his tv reception . 
he comes across a giant robot ( vin diesel ) from space that eats metal for food . 
after saving the robot , nicknamed the iron giant , from electric shock , hogarth befriends the creature and takes him in as a pet of sorts . 
because of damage he suffered upon landing , the giant has forgotten what his original mission was , so he just follows hogarth around like a lost puppy . 
realizing he can't just keep the giant in a barn all the time , and that the giant needs food , he takes him to a junkyard owned by dean ( harry connick jr . ) , an eccentric artist who assembles sculptures out of scrap iron in his spare time . 
it soon becomes apparent that dean and hogarth can't keep the giant a secret forever , because a government spook named kent mansley ( christopher mcdonald ) has been brought in to investigate mysterious sightings in the surrounding forest area and considers the giant a threat to national security . 
he suspects hogarth knows something about the giant , and takes up residence in hogarth's house as a lodger . 
meanwhile , the giant begins to exhibit ominous behavior that suggests he was built to be a weapon of some kind . 
 "" the iron giant "" is exactly what family films ought to be , because it doesn' t talk down to its audience . 
the story is simple , very simple , about an alien being that drops out of the sky and befriends a young boy . 
it's very similar to the spielberg classic "" e . t . , ' and such comparisons are actually deserved in the case of "" the iron giant . "" 
the film holds many of the better elements of spielberg's film , such as the ability to be sentimental without turning sappy . 
the film delivers several serious messages , the most important of which is one's ability to choose one's own fate . 
hogarth teaches the giant to go against his programming and become what he wants to be : a hero . 
the final sequence is touching and appropriate , though i won't give it away , i will say that very few will be disappointed . 
the animation , while not up to disney standards ( what could be , after "" tarzan "" ? ) , is good enough to make you forget you're watching a cartoon . 
the giant is computer-animated , while the human characters are all hand-drawn the old-fashioned way . 
the characters' faces are done quite well , drawn realistically enough to make the personalities credible , but the features are exaggerated so as to allow for the cartoonish expressions that provide for comic relief . 
fine voice work is turned in by young eli marienthal as hogarth , and jennifer aniston is surprisingly convincing as his waitress mother . 
harry connick jr . does a nice characterization as dean , and i really enjoyed the voice work of john mahoney ( of tv's "" frasier "" ) as an army general called in by agent mansley . 
unlike several cartoon features , each character is actually a developed personality , rather than a stereotype , and is actually integral to the plot , rather than being a superfluous comic-relief sidekick ( a clich ? disney still hasn't ditched ) . 
dean , for example , could have been a stereotypical beatnik ( his character profile seems to suggest that ) , but he is presented as a character with real emotions , thoughts , and motivations . 
even the heavy , agent mansley , is not a villain who does bad things simply because he wants to , but out of his own fear and paranoia . 
a lesser animated feature would have drawn up paper-thin stereotypes and figure the kids won't mind , but "" the iron giant "" has clearly put a little work into making the characters real , and it pays off . 
the film isn't only around to deliver heavy-handed messages , though . 
it's also very funny , and the humor is of the kind that both children and adults will enjoy . 
the scenes in which hogarth teaches the giant to do certain things , such as dive into a pool , are handled well , and director brad bird clearly has a sense of comic timing , having worked on "" the simpsons "" for many years . 
a sequence where hogarth and mansley attempt to "" outlast "" one another by trying to stay awake is very nicely timed , and also extremely clever . 
the film even takes some jabs at america's nuclear paranoia during the early stages of the cold war , satirizing the lame safety films shown to grade school students that tell them to "" duck and cover "" in the event of a nuclear attack . 
 "" the iron giant "" has much more of a satirical edge to it than most family films , and the edgy humor is actually quite refreshing . 
instead of seeing people get bonked on the head , we get well-timed , clever gags that seem to have required some imagination to come up with . 
when you get right down to it , "" the iron giant "" is no more than the story of a boy and his robot . 
the story is so straightforward , so quaint , that it ultimately becomes charming . 
though i enjoy the complex plotting of film noir as much as the next person , when it comes to family entertainment , simple is the way to go . 
it's akin to one of those bedtime stories your father told that had you hanging on his every word , but it's not the story that sets the film above others of its kind , but rather the elements that go into the story , namely real characters and thoughtful dialogue , which "" the iron giant "" has in spades . 
"
"1","susan granger's review of "" the closet "" ( miramax films ) 
in this hilarious french farce , a shy , boring accountant ( daniel auteil ) named francois pignon discovers he's going to be fired from his job at a condom factory . 
lonely and distraught , he contemplates suicide . 
but then he runs into belone ( michel aumont ) , an elderly homosexual neighbor , who suggests a "" sex discrimination "" lawsuit to intimidate management . 
as evidence , belone concocts provocative photographs of pignon locked in a leather-clad embrace with another man and mails them anonymously to pignon's boss . 
when the racy snapshots start circulating around the factory , not only does pignon get his job back but he suddenly finds himself the focus of attention as an openly gay man . 
his lusty supervisor ( michele laroque ) is so intrigued that she wonders if , perhaps , she could change his sexual preferences . 
even his ex-wife ( alexandra vandernoot ) and indifferent teenage son ( stanislas crevillen ) drop their disdain . 
but not everyone is enchanted . 
a mucho macho co-worker felix ( gerard depardieu ) , a self-righteous homophobe , is stunned and repulsed when he's forced by the pr director ( thierry lhermite ) to grovel and court pignon's friendship or risk losing his own job . 
writer/director francis verber artfully milks the farcical comedy as he dissects the hypocrisy of political correctness , veering off-track only occasionally into pedophilia . 
daniel auteuil ( "" the widow of saint-pierre "" ) is delightful - particularly with a blown-up condom perched on his head , riding on a float in a gay pride parade - and gerard depardieu delivers one of his most restrained , and effective , performances . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" the closet "" is a frankly sexual , adult 8 . 
it's so clever , in fact , that hollywood is already planning to re-make it in english , like "" la cage aux folles . "" 
"
"1","roman emperor marcus aurelius ( richard harris ) chooses his trusted general maximus ( russell crowe ) as his successor . 
however the emperor's evil son commodus ( joaquin phoenix ) murders his father before the announcement can be made , and maximus ( as well as his family ) is sentenced to be executed . 
maximus is able to escape his executioners , but is later captured and sold as a slave to proximo ( oliver reed ) . 
proximo is looking for gladiators to earn himself money ( he being a former gladiator himself ) , and maximus reluctantly uses his skills to prove himself a powerful gladiator . 
when emperor commodus announces that new games will be held in the colisseum , proximo takes his gladiators there to do battle . 
maximus sees this as his chance to exact revenge on commodus . 
gladiator begins with a great battle sequence between the roman army and germania , and actually is able to maintain interest during the now required "" 40 minutes of exposition after a kick ass opening sequence "" style of moviemaking . 
the only downfall of the opening sequence is the editing style used . . . 
it's choppy slow-motion which is unsettling and distracting . 
it's similar to the opening sequence in saving private ryan , but nowhere near as effective . 
the actual gladiator battles are thrilling , but also a bit disjointed . 
many times it's unclear as to exactly what's going on . . . 
all the audience can tell is that blood is being spilled . 
we're not sure who's blood or by who's hand though . 
there's an instance of this earlier in the film too that's disappointing . 
it's comes when maximus escapes his executioners . 
some flashes and a few quick cuts later and maximus is free . . . 
but i still don't know exactly how he did it . 
russell crowe should have become a major star after his gleefully over the top role as a computer generated serial killer in 1995's virtuosity . 
for whatever reason his stardom never arrived . . . 
but he should have it now . 
from here on moviegoers should now be able to say , "" let's go see the new russell crowe movie "" . 
he gets the best scene in the film ( and one of the best moments of all recent movies ) when he reveals his identity to commodus in the colisseum . 
it's both rousing and chilling . 
joaquin phoenix does a very effective job of making commodus a person and not just a cartoon character ( which could have easily happened ) . 
commodus is conniving , sneaky and whiny , but phoenix never lets the character get silly . 
it's a very good ( and very creepy ) performance . 
oliver reed died during the filming of gladiator , and it's a huge loss to the acting world . 
i've always been fascinated with reed . . . 
he's one of those very talented performers who once had a fine career but ended up in direct to video junk during his twilight years . 
it's ironic that this film probably would have gotten him back into real movies again , as he gives a fun and sincere performance . 
the film is dedicated to him , and he will surely be missed . 
reed's death presented the filmmakers with an obvious problem , as he still had scenes to be completed . 
rather than recast the role ( and end up reshooting a great deal of footage ) , a digital version of oliver reed was created at a reported cost of 2 million dollars . 
ironically , that was probably more money than reed ever earned for a single film . 
anyway , this digital effect is only used in one scene that i am aware of ( for about twenty seconds ) and if you aren't looking for it you won't even be able to tell . 
some of the other digital effects are less convincing however . . . 
and like i always say , noticable digital effects take me out of a movie immediately . 
it's sad that such a good film has these distractions . 
movies like the fall of the roman empire and spartacus seemed to do okay without the use of computer effects . 
keep in mind that gladiator is based on real people and real events , but is entirely a work of fiction . 
however it's a work of fiction that's great entertainment , and another film to add to the list of damn fine flicks released in 2000 a . d . 
"
"1","what a great film . 
what a stunning , touching , heart-wrenching , heart-warming , life-affirming , miraculous film . 
>from its opening moments , _life is beautiful_ walks that fine line between serious tragedy and uplifting comedy . 
a car with no brakes speeds through the town , and guido ( roberto benigni ) motions people to move out of the way . 
they mistake him to be the fascist president , traveling to their town that day . 
heil ! 
heil ! 
huh ? 
shortly thereafter , the president drives through , and people stare , with blank faces . 
this is standard , but somehow fresh and postmodern stuff : the clown who is also a jew , triumphs over the anti-semitic society in which he = lives . 
granted , _the great dictator_ comes to mind--charlie chaplin+s almost masterpiece . 
i think lib ( which benigni wrote and directed ) trumps gd in one essential point : chaplin+s jewish barber gives a great speech at the climax , but to do so , he had to break completely from character . 
benigni is given a similar situation : he is mistaken as a fascist dignitary , and must explain to a classroom filled with schoolchildren = on how scientists have concluded that aryans are the superior race . 
benigni+s guido stays in character , and delivers the speech , keeping = the subject matter intact while showing the absurdity of its concept . 
it = is one of the great satirical scenes in modern cinema . 
there are many other scenes , especially in the first half , which are bright and loopy and funny and silly . 
slapstick reigns , and although the film is subtitled , there was no doubt that a universal language was being conveyed . 
and although it+s focus is on the courtship of guido = to dora ( played by nicoletta braschi , benigni+s real life wife ) , a silent undercurrent creeps in . 
this is clearly a racist society , evidenced by the aforementioned scene and others , and it will soon affect him and = his family . 
the second half of the film takes place five years later , in an unnamed concentration camp , where guido , dora ( by her insistence ) , and their five-year old son , giosu=e9 ( giorgio cantarini ) , are deported . 
guido , seeing the horrors , is desperate to protect his wife and child . 
for = his wife , who is separated from him , he must find ways to communicate to = her that he is all right . 
for his son , ( and this is the most controversial part of the film ) he convinces the youngster that this is all one big elaborate game : it+s rules include hiding , being very quiet , and learning to not ask for seconds . 
which raises the big questions : how do we deal with pain ? 
with persecution ? 
with injustice on the worst level ? 
it+s said that tragedies bring out the best in people , finding strengths they did not realize they had . 
other times they deteriorate , become overwhelmed = with little strength or incentive to swim . 
sometimes even , people giggle in these moments , as if there were a vacant emotion behind them , yearning for some brightness to soothe their wounds . 
benigni+s guido realizes this . 
he is the clown , but he is not a fool . 
he sees the slurs and the vandalism , and while feeling the weight of = the verbal attacks , he still has the audacity to see if everyone around = him , perhaps even the antagonists , laugh . 
his liberty is stripped , but not his dignity , and certainly not the dignities of those around him . 
it+s obvious from the onset that here is someone who is very much against fascism and the preposterousness of an aryan nation , but does so with a grinning , joyful demeanor . 
perhaps that is a form of denial . 
perhaps his alternate reality is all that he could muster ( not unlike the very different _brazil_ ) . 
or . . . 
perhaps this is an example of great fortitude , with no weapons but = wit . 
whatever his purposes is subject to debate , but also a sure sign that this is one of the great three-dimensional characters , stranded amidst = a terrifyingly risky concept . 
surprisingly , it works . 
it is an important footnote that this film was not intended to be an accurate reflection of the holocaust . 
it+s not that the atrocities are trivialized , far from it . 
they don+t have to be broadcast and explicitly shown to muster the same horror--less is more . 
i believe = that benigni was cautious to preserve the tone , and i like the theory that = it is guido+s alternate reality that we+re seeing . 
however , any criticism that this is rewriting history , that the holocaust wasn+t as bad as it seems , is simply off-target . 
benigni+s film has won audience awards at cannes , at toronto , and is a definite shoo-in for best foreign language film ( hopefully for best picture as well ) . 
he has been made an honorary jew by a jerusalem film society . 
it swept the italian academy awards . 
controversy notwithstanding , it is one of the great films this year , and as of this writing , the one to beat for best film . 
masterful . 
miraculous . 
a must-see . 
"
"1","ingredients : starving artist lusting after a beautiful woman from his childhood 
synopsis : great expectations ( 1998 ) is a modernized version of a charles dickens novel . 
in the original charles dickens classic an orphan boy named pip learns about life through his friendship with an escaped convict , his relationship with a bitter old lady named miss havisham , and his hopeless lifetime infatuation with havisham's snobbish adopted daughter , estella . 
the gist of the story is that an anonymous benefactor sends pip to london for pip to become an upper class "" gentleman . "" 
pip leaves for london with "" great expectations "" to be groomed into a gentleman so that he can one day be classy enough to marry estella . 
but life has a way of complicating things . 
pip becomes an arrogant s . o . b . 
until he learns just who his secret benefactor is . 
in this new 1998 version of great expectations a poor florida lad named finn ( ethan hawke ) with a talent for drawing has an early memory of helping an escaped convict ( robert de niro ) . 
but soon the focus of finn's life becomes romance , as he develops a lifelong infatuation with estella ( gwyneth paltrow ) , an upper crust girl with some psychological and emotional issues due to being raised in a dysfunctional environment . 
estella was raised in wealth by ms . dinsmoor ( anne bancroft ) , an eccentric , aged and embittered , man-hating single aunt whose groom left her abandoned at the altar on the day of her marriage . 
this causes estella to 'fear the daylight' of relationships , but finn thinks it's just a case of snobbery . 
when finn becomes a young man , an anonymous benefactor sets finn up in new york with the connections and publicity to be groomed into a famous artist . 
finn leaves florida with "" great expectations "" to be a successful artist so that some day he might become classy enough to marry the snobbish estella . 
what will happen to all of finn's "" great expectations ? "" 
opinion : if you're looking for a romance with a happy ending , look no further ; you've found one here . 
ethan hawke is romantic lead . 
 ( he romanced winona ryder in reality bites . 
he romanced julie delpy in before sunrise . 
he romanced uma thurman in gattaca . 
now in great expectations he gets to chase gwyneth paltrow , a rail-thin blonde . ) 
hawke plays a lovestruck , earnest and unchanged finn throughout the film . 
meanwhile paltrow portrays estella as alternating between infuriating tease and ice princess ; estella's whole purpose is to get men to fall in love and then hurt them rather than become intimate . 
anne bancroft goes a little overboard as the deranged and pessimistic ms . dinsmoor , while robert de niro carries off the convict part suitably . 
the difference between the classic dickens novel and this 1998 adaptation is that the dickens novel is ripe with deep and timeless themes about class struggle and love , whereas great expectations ( 1998 ) is more artsy , less complicated story about a 1990s artist dealing with a lifetime tease . 
"
"1","you've seen this moment before , recently : a particularly troubled character senses danger of the paranormal kind when the room temperature inexplicably plummets to below freezing . 
the difference is that when it happens to lili taylor's nell in the haunting , we don't care . 
the hero of the sixth sense , a young boy named cole , is a rich creation , and we wish nothing more than for the ghosts who haunt him to take a hike . 
the seasons have changed since an ex-patient shot jaded child psychologist malcolm crowe ( willis ) in the comfort of his own bedroom . 
desperate to get his career back on track , even at the expense of his crumbling marriage ( to williams , of rushmore ) , malcolm councils the deeply troubled cole ( osment ) . 
the preteen displays all the quirks of malcolm's would-be killer : scars on his body ; antisocial behaviour ; and the reluctance to reveal a big secret . 
only after cole is locked in a closet by some bullies ( and hospitalized as a result ) does he divulge to malcolm , in a spine-tingling scene , that he sees dead people walking among us , all the time . 
malcolm assumes , and given his profession , reasonably so , that cole is schizophrenic , not psychic , but the sincerity in cole's anguished confession prevents the doctor from taking drastic measures . 
he will instead pursue the supernatural angle , becoming a kind of surrogate father to cole ( who lives with his single mother , lynn ( collette ) ) in the process . 
the sixth sense has more in common with ghost than poltergeist . 
 ( though shyamalan does , somewhat unforgiveably , crib the self-rearranging kitchen business from the latter . ) 
it's far more heartwarming than frightening , and the film would be none the worse for wear without its few pulp shocks . 
cole attracts the dead for reasons unknown , but they're not out to harm him , really-they just want to be heard , even if it means scaring the bejesus out of the innocent gradeschooler . 
perhaps the apparitions seem more ghastly to us , at first , than they really are because we're looking at the situation through the eyes of an eight-year-old . 
that's right : willis , for the first time in years , gives up the spotlight to his costar . 
we appreciate malcolm's domestic dilemma , but we identify with cole , recalling our fears of the bogeyman or the closet monster or the thing under the bed . 
both actors deliver immensely likable performances , and their dynamic is manifest . 
willis convinces us that he's a doctor , something he was unable to do as a horndog shrink in the overheated color of night . 
osment is phenomenal , a true professional who resists mugging for the camera like some child stars with too much experience in television commercials do . 
the sixth sense ( atmospherically shot by the silence of the lambs' cinematographer , tak fujimoto ) is actually a drama-its spooky , effective ad campaign is misleading . 
only because i was expecting something different did i notice-rather , feel-the movie's running time , which is just shy of two hours . 
the story unfurls slowly but engrossingly ; its unexpected finish is definitely worth the wait . 
i'm not sure said big twist ending is bulletproof , but i admired its audacity . 
"
"1","hollywood has really done the whole dracula thing to death ( no pun intended - honest ) . 
it's a shame , too , because the good count was probably the most frightening out the old b-movie monsters . 
i mean , come on . 
are people really going to get that scared over a big green guy named frankenstein that moves at a speed of five miles per hour ? 
hell no . 
and not only was the idea of a vampire frightening as hell , but it also carried with it a kind of sensual feeling as well , not commonly associated with horror films . 
and not only has the idea been done too many times , but with the possible exception of from dusk 'till dawn , has not been done very well lately , either . 
this is precisely why it was so much fun for me watching the original nosferatu . 
i got to go back to the times when making movies ( even horror movies ) was considered an art form , and not just done to make cash like nowadays . 
and that is exactly what this film is ; art . 
i've been a horror fan since i was eight years old , and to this day i have not seen any horror film cover the intellectual ground that this film covers . 
let me backtrack a minute . 
when i say "" intellectual ground "" , i don't mean that nosferatu tackles philosophical questions or anything like that , i just mean that in order for the film to work the way it was intended to , a little bit of thinking is involved . 
with most modern slasher movies like friday the 13th and what-not , you can just simply sit back in your chair and be frightened by the gore that is shown . 
those movies could have been made by a fifth grader with a good makeup kit ; movies like this require the viewer to actually pay attention and ponder what is happening on the screen . 
you see , this movie has barely any violence in it and even less blood or gore . 
this is a thinking man's slasher flick . 
the "" nosferatu "" of the title is orlock ( max shreck ) , a strange , hermit-like count that , as the film opens , is looking for a new home to buy . 
he employs the help of hutter ( gustav von wangenhein ) , a real estate salesman ( or something to that effect ) who has a nice home and even a fiancee named ellen ( greta schroeder ) . 
upon orders from his boss , hutter treks to the transylvanian mountains to visit orlock's castle and speak to him about his new home ( which just happens to be right next door to hutter's ) . 
the next morning , he wakes up to find teeth marks on his neck . . . not 
really a good sign . 
he then discovers through some reading that the count is a "" nosferatu "" , or vampire , one of the undead that feeds off the blood of living humans . 
but by the time he pieces this together , he is too late ; orlock has already embarked to hutter's hometown via boat . 
will hutter reach his destination in time to save his fiancee from the deadly clutches of count orlock ? 
the character of orlock is , of course , dracula . 
the only only reason his name was changed was because this was an unauthorized account of bram strocker's novel . 
just thought that was an interesting little side note . . . 
probably the only way you will get to see this fine film is by purchasing a copy of arrow entertainment's digitally restored cut , now available in stores . 
however , this version is quite different than maunau's original masterpiece . 
the movie is now sporting a new soundtrack by band type o-negative and color tinting , much like the 1984 version of lang's metropolis . 
now , i really appreciate what arrow entertainment is trying to do here , bringing a classic like this to the attention of a wider audience that might have otherwise just skipped this one . 
but alas , i like watching movies the way they were originally intended to be seen . 
but that's just my bag ; you may like the newer , more "" modern "" version better . 
either way , i suggest investing your money in a copy . 
if you like what they have done with it , pop it in the vcr and enjoy . 
if you're like me , just do what i'll do during future viewings ; turn the color all the way down on your television , hit mute , turn on some bach or mozart or whatever , dim the lights and prepare to view what is truly one of the greatest films ever made . 
"
"1","stendhal's syndrome : a condition where , in the presence of art , a person becomes engulfed in a painting and hallucinates and may afterwards suffer symptoms such as depression , suicidal behaviour and personality disorder . 
grim stuff , to be sure , but the subject of a remarkable film from italy's master of the horror thriller dario argento . 
boasting an unforgettable soundtrack from the grandfather of film music ennio morricone , the stendhal syndrome is a quite magnificent return to form for argento . 
it follows his disappointing american debut trauma ( 1992 ) , the patchy opera ( 1987 ) and several mediocre films he produced for young italian director michele soavi in the late 1980's . 
based on the novel by graziella magherini , the film stars argento's daughter asia as young roman police inspector anna manni in pursuit of a brutal rapist-killer . 
visiting florence to follow up several leads , she is lured by the killer alfredo ( thomas kretschmann ) to an art gallery , a favourite haunt where he hopes to identify exactly who is on his tail . 
at the gallery anna is overwhelmed by a painting and faints . 
posing as a bystander , alfredo briefly comes to her aid and having now identified his pursuer , a strange game of cat and mouse begins . 
a gripping story evolves , and a coherent one , too , which may surprise those familiar with argento's often lumpy narratives . 
the stendhal syndrome is not a simple cop-hunting-killer scenario . 
it is a disturbing and often compelling study of the central character's psychological disintegration . 
the script explores its psycho-sexual themes with intelligence and candour , perhaps too much so for more sensitive viewers . 
but as dark as its themes are , the stendhal syndrome emerges as one of the most artful and effective european thrillers of the last ten years . 
argento is once again working in his native italy , and he fully exploits the opportunities to use art and architecture for both symbolic statements and as departure points for several brilliant hallucinogenic sequences . 
effects whiz sergio stivaletti serves his director well here , and the cinematography by giuseppe rotunno is consistently excellent . 
the film's opening 20 minutes segues between hallucination , flashback and real-time with tremendous style . 
proof that , at his most inspired , argento remains one of the world's most exhilarating filmmakers . 
the cast is generally good , though marred at times by dubbing into english that renders speech all but emotionless . 
asia argento's performance is by turns risky , awkward and fascinating . 
it's a difficult role , and given her relative inexperience on screen she deserves applause for her efforts . 
thomas kretschmann is chillingly effective as alfredo , and marco leonardi ( of cinema paradiso , and possibly the most gorgeous looking man in italy ) does okay as anna's work colleague and increasingly confused love interest . 
but perhaps the stendhal syndrome's single most striking element is ennio morricone's soundtrack . 
active since the 1960's , morricone has scored over 100 films in his career and this must rate as one of his finest efforts . 
it's mostly a variation on the one theme : a slow circular melody for strings and wordless female vocal possessed with an extraordinary , haunting beauty that lingers long afterwards . 
it's been three decades since argento and morricone worked together . 
this is a long welcome reunion . 
if the film has a fault , it is that the last half hour drags a little and the film doesn't quite reach a completely satisfying climax . 
but by the closing scenes , the stendhal syndrome has already offered us enough to qualify as one of the very best films of dario argento's career . 
 * note : see the uncut print from japanese laserdisc if you can . 
dubs of this version are available from various video dealers on the world wide web . 
"
"1","close your eyes for a moment , if you will , and imagine the sound of stephen rea's gaelic brogue , silky smooth and irish like a pint of guinness . 
a lackadaisical , naughty little schoolboy voice that flirts and gambols . 
an acerbic , sing-song metered voice that evokes the startling imagery and language of anthony burgess' "" a clockwork orange . "" 
a voice that deliciously conjures scenes both porcine and puerile , like those out of "" delicatessen , "" or "" the tin drum . "" 
imagine all of that , and you'll get a good sense of what you can expect from "" the butcher boy . "" 
imagine that and more . 
neil jordan's latest film "" stars "" rea in more ways than one . 
rea , the accomplished irish actor most notable from his star turn in jordan's "" the crying game , "" contributes a restrained and managed performance as da brady , a small town drunk in an unnamed irish community in the 1960s . 
but it's his wall-to-wall narration as the butcher boy of the title , da brady's son , francis , that makes rea's "" performance "" worth watching , worth listening to . 
and that's only half the fun . 
playing the young francie brady is newcomer eamonn owens and he is , without a doubt , a revelation . 
for as much as rea's voiceover permeates almost every scene of "" the butcher boy , "" owens commands virtually every frame . 
it's impossible to take your eyes off him . 
with his crop of carrot-colored hair , ruddy complexion , and overall grubby appearance , francie brady is an unlikely hero , refusing to be done in by his alcoholic , trumpet-playing father , his depressive , suicidal mother , or the neighboring , bespectacled monster known as mrs . nugent ( fiona shaw ) . 
in fact , everything was ok until "" the nugent "" came to town . 
now , she poses as much a threat to the safety and security of town bully francie and his best pal joe ( alan boyle ) as the looming commie menace ( "" the butcher boy "" is set at a time when the fear of nuclear obliteration is first and foremost in the minds of many ) . 
 "" pigs ! "" screams mrs . nugent at the brady menagerie . 
 "" you're all pigs ! "" 
it's the start of many a related image . 
after ma brady is shipped off to the "" garage "" for psychiatric observation and da brady downs one bottle of whiskey too many , francie finally loses grip of his fantasy world of cowboys and indians , the lone ranger , and other comicbook characters . 
squealing like a stuck pig , francie does "" the likes o' that "" on the nugent's living room floor , and is himself whisked away to a very catholic remand home for "" boney arsed bogmen , "" where his ever fertile imagination--and clever chicanery--runneth over . 
director jordan's vivid treatment of pat mccabe's nightmare novel produces a sometimes disturbing , dark comedy littered with surreal touches ( such as sin ? ad o'connor playing the virgin mary ) . 
it's not as outlandish as the trailers make out ; instead , this remarkable film focuses on the effects external influences have on the friendship between two boys ( schoolboy chums in real life ) , allowing us to empathize with their plight in the presence of extraordinary behavior . 
it's bleak and it's black but it's fundamentally very funny . 
rea talks us through it , beautifully , and owens drags us though it , admirably , and , in tandem with jordan's sure hand , theirs are contributions to make "" the butcher boy "" a film worth savoring . 
"
"1","zero effect gets its title from the main character , daryl zero ( bill pullman ) , although we don't understand what it truly means until the very last line of dialogue in the film . 
zero is a private investigator , perhaps the best private investigator who ever lived ( at least he'd like to think so ) . 
however , he's a socially inept being , and eccentric in every possible way -- this fact certainly makes his talents as a private eye even more bewildering than they already are . 
zero's accomplice is steve arlo ( ben stiller ) , a "" normal "" guy who does the business side of the job -- he's the one who actually speaks to clients and explains zero's greatness as an investigator . 
the opening scene has steve explaining the many virtues of zero's talents to soon-to-be client gregory stark ( ryan o'neal ) . 
it turns out that stark has lost a key to a safe deposit box , and is now being blackmailed for something that he apparently knows nothing about . 
zero takes the case , and the plot thickens . 
his path leads to a young , pretty paramedic named gloria sullivan ( kim dickens ) . 
despite her luminous and seemingly-harmless presence , she turns out to be the one blackmailing stark . 
through his investigations , zero learns why , but not without developing feelings for gloria -- feelings that , because of his reclusive behavior , are new and confusing to him . 
i have no particular affinity towards the mystery genre of film . 
i can idly enjoy movies about private investigators , and , every once in a while , a film like chinatown comes a long that blows me away ( actually , no private eye film has ever reached chinatown's greatness ) . 
zero effect , which is jake kasdan's first effort as writer/director , is a film about a private investigator that succeeds in all attempts : it's an original , funny , and completely involving motion picture . 
with so many cliches available to this genre , i find it amazing that kasdan avoided all of them . 
but he didn't just successfully avoid flaws : he has created a great film here , one that had me interested and fascinated from the first shot to the final moment . 
take , for starters , the great cast of characters . 
pullman is terrific as zero , showing a comic flair that i really haven't seen from him since spaceballs . 
zero is the kind of guy who seems at ease switching personalities so frequently as he does here ; the fact that he's an almost exaggeratedly twisted , emotionally unstable man outside of his profession is not at all difficult to believe . 
pullman's performance is much more layered than it might seem at first glance , and the occasional voice-over as he's going through the motions of his job are insightful and often hilarious . 
ben stiller is also a very funny individual ; he's the kind of comedian who makes normal lines sound funny . 
 "" i'll shoot you , "" he says to stark at one point . 
 "" i have a gun , and everything . "" 
his character is also well-drawn , with an interesting subplot involving his girlfriend ( angela featherstone ) who is not happy with the extensive amounts of time he must spend away from her due to the unpredictability of his job . 
o'neal also gives his character a bit of depth ; and kim dickens , last seen ( and underused ) in mercury rising , gets a chance to show us her talent here , giving gloria the realism this kind of character really needs . 
i find zero effect to be an immensely funny and witty film . 
kasdan's humor is of the best kind -- soft spoken , and mostly dialogue-driven ( though there are some great visual jokes ) . 
it's the kind of humor that's funny even after you've seen it five or six times . 
there's one scene in which zero talks about how detached he is , an how that makes him such a great detective . 
what we see during this narration are various shots of him sitting on a bed , or standing motionlessly , with his hair destroyed and an utterly blank look painted on his unshaven face , his eyes pointing to something off camera , but obviously to nothing in particular . 
i can't convey to you how funny this is , but what makes it great film making is that it has a point -- scenes like this are frequent , and they provide solid characterization of zero . 
as a side note , i don't consider myself an average viewer when it comes to comedy ( not to sound elitist ) -- i find things funny that many do not , and vice versa . 
there was a clump of people near me in the theater laughing uproariously through this film , and the rest of the theater was relatively silent through most of it . 
i have a feeling the humor here won't appeal to everyone , but there's certainly enough story and character development to keep anyone's interest . 
jake kasdan , son of writer/director lawrence kasdan , is only 22 years old . 
i found this out after seeing the film , and i can't remember ever being so impressed with a film maker . 
his direction is stylish without being pretentious , and his writing is mature , full , and developed . 
zero effect is the kind of film that i'll buy for my collection -- smart , original films like this are rare as it is , but this one actually has a heart and a soul . 
at the end of the film , i was involved in the characters , and i was satisfied with the outcome . 
and , with kasdan's undeniable talent at such a young age , all i can do is hope to see a lot more from him in the future . 
"
"1","the long kiss goodnight ( r ) meryl streep tried it and failed . 
even pamela anderson lee made an attempt but fell flat on her well-bared assets . 
however , geena davis could very well become the first bankable american female action star with the long kiss goodnight , a preposterous but incredibly fun action thriller directed by her husband , renny harlin . 
davis plays samantha caine , a mousy suburban school teacher and mother whose memories only go back eight years . 
with the help of ethically questionable private detective mitch hennessey ( samuel l . jackson ) , she slowly remembers--and reclaims--her past as charly baltimore , tough-as-nails cia operative . 
needless to say , with the reappearance of samantha/charly comes the appearance of an assortment of no-goodniks out to erase more than her memory . 
shane black netted a cool $4 mil for his script ; i'm not so sure if his prose is truly deserving of such a hefty price tag , but for what it's worth , it delivers the goods . 
like black's previous work , such as lethal weapon and the last boy scout , the script juggles some impressive action scenes with funny , quirky dialogue . 
the humor especially works well in this case , for the story is so preposterous that the laughs help to keep things from taking things too seriously . 
but there's no argument that the more unbelievable sequences are original and entertaining as hell : who can resist the sight of davis tossing her daughter from a hole in her house into the nearby treehouse or chasing after a car . . . 
while ice skating ? 
jackson and davis make a good team . 
jackson is funny as ever as ever ; in fact , his spirited line deliveries , especially when he first appears , are more than reminiscent of his work as jules in pulp fiction . 
as good as he is , the one who should benefit the most from this project is davis , who shows much promise as an action heroine . 
what makes her so effective and why she should succeed where streep and lee failed is that she doesn't take herself too seriously . 
she is obviously in on the joke , slyly taking jabs at herself and at the situation . 
this is not to say that she doesn't need work--sometimes she lays on the "" toughness "" a bit too thick and comes off too much as a caricature . 
but should the public embrace the film and , in turn , the notion of a kick-ass female , davis could have found her special niche . 
it seems as if davis and harlin's first collaboration , the middling pirate epic cutthroat island , was just a dress rehearsal ( albeit a very costly one ) for long kiss , in which the wife-husband team hit their action stride . 
anyone simply looking for a fun , escapist entertainment that requires little-to-no thinking will find this film to be a more-than-welcome kiss . 
"
"1","screen story by kevin yagher and andrew kevin walker . 
screenplay by andrew kevin walker . 
inspired by the short story the legend of sleepy hollow by washington irving . 
directed by tim burton . 
starring johnny depp , christina ricci , and casper van dien . 
special appearances by christopher lee and christopher walken . 
synopsis : investigator ichabod crane journeys to 1799 sleepy hollow to investigate a series of murders involving decapitation . 
townspeople believe the spirit of a dead german mercenary is threatening them . 
cute blonde katrina and a listless orphan help crane solve the mystery . 
comments : tim burton has directed a number of entertaining and groundbreaking films over the years . 
batman , of course , is perhaps his best-known film and led to a string of less successful sequels . 
he's done biographical work ( on the director ed wood ) , children's movies ( nightmare before christmas ) , and a homage to alien invasion movies ( mars attacks ! ) . 
sleepy hollow , his newest feature which fans have been anticipating for a while , shares the similar dark and atmospheric style of his earlier work and counts among his better movies . 
sleepy hollow quite obviously draws its inspiration from the old period horror films of the 1950s and 1960s , especially hammer studios' reworkings of dracula and frankenstein , and american international's series of movies based on the works of edgar allan poe . 
christopher lee , in fact , star of many hammer productions over the years , appears at the beginning of sleepy hollow as a judge who sends ichabod crane out to investigate the murders . 
the movie also borrows from the universal monster movies of the 1930s . 
one of the climatic scenes involves a windmill and obviously takes its cue from frankenstein . 
i mention these allusions for a reason . 
seasoned horror film fans , including myself , will smile at their inclusion in this film . 
with the recent disappointments in theatrically released horror movies , especially the blair witch project ( the most overblown turkey of the decade ) , we needed a film like this . 
not only does it have a sense of history , but burton's skillful use of setting and mood make this an entertaining exercise in horror . 
the film's eerie landscapes and foggy towns , indeed , overshadow the actors and the plot as the most noteworthy aspect of the movie . 
johnny depp , a veteran tim burton actor who has appeared both in ed wood and edward scissorhands , plays ichabod crane , who has apparently changed occupations from irving's original story and is now an investigator . 
depp is adequate in his role . 
no more ; no less . 
equally adequate is christina ricci , who plays the love interest in the film . 
she's a good witch too . 
how cute . 
one of the few weak parts of sleepy hollow is the wooden and cliched dialogue between the main characters . 
the two actors , however , carry the movie well enough , but the supporting cast is what makes this movie shine . 
veteran actors such as jeffrey jones and michael gough ( who played the butler alfred in all four recent batman flicks ) are terrific as the aging townsfolk involved in the conspiracy which depp uncovers . 
while i do not wish to reveal crucial plot points , i can say that the storyline becomes quite confusing . 
you have to pay attention . 
andrew kevin walker wrote the screenplay . 
he's the one who also wrote 8 mm and seven . 
walker is quickly becoming one of the premiere suspense writers in hollywood , and sleepy hollow certainly doesn't hurt his growing reputation . 
as one might imagine from a gentleman like walker , sleepy hollow is quite graphic . 
there's a lot of blood and a lot of beheadings . 
this is definately not a flick to take the young kids to . 
a lady in front of us took her two young sons to see it and spent about 25 - 30 minutes covering the youngest's eyes with her hand . 
he was obviously upset by the movie's intense violence . 
if you're looking for a good scare , however , sleepy hollow is definately recommended . 
"
"1","mpaa : not rated ( though i feel it would likely be pg , for martial-arts violence . ) 
with three movies already ( re ) released theatrically in america , and at least three more on their way , jackie chan is one of the newest "" hot properties "" in action adventure stardom , and it's just about time . 
for over twenty-five years , jackie's been starring in martial arts and action movies in hong kong , thrilling audiences with both an incredible grasp of acrobatics and martial arts and a wonderful sense of comedy . 
 "" drunken master "" has the distinction of being the first jackie chan movie to "" make it big "" --this is the movie that supposedly set jackie up for big stardom in hong kong . 
i'm not entirely sure why , exactly . 
in many ways , "" drunken master "" is similar to most of jackie's other early films , such as "" fearless hyena "" i and ii , "" master with cracked fingers "" , "" half a loaf of kung fu "" , "" spiritual kung fu "" , and others . 
in fact , looking at all these early films together , one gets the impression that they were stamped out , cookie-cutter style , at a rate of four to six per year , all using the same casts and telling very similar stories . 
to be honest , i think that early jackie chan movies are something of an acquired taste . 
they're quite different from action movies as we know them in america . 
these films tend to be set in the chinese countryside in an indeterminate period sometime in the distant past , with fairly slow plots that often meander far afield and sometimes seem to exist only for the intention of stringing comedy and fight scenes together . 
 "" drunken master "" , though its plot is tighter than some , is no exception . 
 ( as an aside , "" drunken master "" was the first jackie chan movie i ever saw , and i saw it the way it was meant to be seen . . . in 
a movie theater in seattle , as part of an asian film festival . 
at the time , i didn't really think it was anything special . . . but 
after having seen more films like it , it's kind of grown on me . ) 
 "" drunken master "" 's storyline is very similar to that of other early jackie chan movies , such as "" fearless hyena "" i and ii and "" master with cracked fingers "" --slacker martial arts student is taught the martial arts by a harsh-seeming master , and has a big fight with an evil bad guy in the end ( a formula that has been "" adapted , "" to put it kindly , by american films such as karate kid ) . 
more specifically , jackie chan plays the part of wong fei-hong , aka "" naughty panther , "" a fun-loving , practical-joking kung fu student who is too good at kung fu for his own good , but not _quite_ good enough . 
after embarrassing his instructor's assistant by beating him roundly , then beating up a bully in a marketplace , wong fei-hong tries to hit on a pretty girl , but discovers that she , and her mother , can hit back , better than he can . . . and 
is further chagrinned to discover that the two women are his cousin and aunt , respectively . 
his father , wong kei-ying , is unhappy about this , and is further annoyed when the father and brother of the bully show up to sue for damages . 
kei-ying soon institutes a harsh regimen of punishment , which fei-hong does not like at all . 
while escaping from this punishment , fei-hong meets up with a drunken old man , who proceeds to thrash him soundly , then take him on as a student and thrash him some more . 
this turns out to be su hua-chi , a legendary master of drunken-style kung fu . 
he assigns fei-hong a series of bizarre tasks , such as filling jugs with water while hanging upside down from a frame , cracking walnuts with his hands , and other such exercises , that seem like more pointless cruelty but are actually strengthening him up . 
then , when he's ready , he teaches him the seven styles of drunken kung fu . 
unfortunately , the lazy fei-hong only practices six of them . . . 
 "" drunken master "" features some wonderful martial arts sequences , with jackie winning some fights and losing others . 
it's been said before , but i'll say it again--these fights don't just _happen_ , they're as carefully choreographed as any ballet performance , and it shows . 
in his fights , jackie often makes use of objects found in his environment-- benches , jugs , cups , bowls , fruits and vegetables--often in new and surprising ways . 
the fight scenes , particularly those toward the end of the film , are unparallelled in most american films . 
whether jackie wins or loses , it's really something to see . . . and 
it's often as funny as anything , too . 
and funny is the other thing jackie chan is very , very good at . 
there's very little that's new in this movie--jackie winning fights , jackie getting beaten badly by a master , jackie going through punishment or training . . . these 
schticks have all been seen before , in any one of several dozen similar jackie movies from the seventies and early eighties . 
but they're still hilarious as ever . 
likewise , jackie has a _great_ supporting cast , many of whom were also in other early jackie films , and they're often the source of plenty of hilarity on their own . 
the really big thing about "" drunken master "" , though , that inspired several copycats ( including a couple starring jackie himself ) and a sequel fifteen years later , was the drunken-style kung fu . 
i'm not certain whether or not this is actually a genuine style of kung fu , but the principle behind it is to imitate the wobbly movements of a drunkard to lull the enemy into a false sense of security . . . and 
it apparently helps if you're drunk while you're doing it . 
genuine or not , i have to admit , there's just something incredibly fun about watching a fellow who looks utterly sloshed wading into a group of startled opponents and making mincemeat out of them before they even realize what's going on . 
come to think of it , perhaps this element is what accounts for this film's success over any of the other jackie films . . . it's 
not just martial arts , it's the kind of martial arts that makes you stop and go , "" whoa . . . "" 
on the negative side , the cinematography in this film is nothing special , the film stock is rather primitive , the plot is often rather slow , and the subtitles are sometimes extremely hard to read against the background . 
 "" gone with the wind "" , this isn't . 
still , if you like martial arts films , or like what you've seen so far of jackie chan and want to see more , give it a shot . 
it's much more "" real "" than chuck norris or jean-claude van damme . 
you might very well like it . 
another interesting thing about "" drunken master "" has to do with its video availability in the us . 
 "" drunken master "" is the only early jackie chan movie that i know of that you can find in its original , letterboxed , hong kong subtitled form , commercially available on vhs ( from magnum video , in a gold box , for about $10 ) . 
there are plenty of other early jackie films around , but these are typically either in dubbed , pan-and-scanned form or else import tapes priced for rental instead of purchase . 
thankfully , "" drunken master "" , at least , is available in the aspect ratio in which it was meant to be seen , at a very affordable price . 
if you like "" drunken master "" , take a look at the numerous other early jackie chan films that are out there ( even the dubbed ones aren't really _too_ bad . . . if 
nothing else , you can enjoy the martial arts choreography while making fun of the dialogue ) . 
i particularly recommend "" spiritual kung fu "" , "" half a loaf of kung fu "" , the "" fearless hyena "" movies , and "" snake & crane arts of shaolin "" . 
also , the mostly-unrelated-storywise sequel , "" drunken master ii "" , will hit theaters in american release sometime later this year ( though what its american-release title will be is still uncertain ) and comes _highly_ recommended by this reviewer . 
also , for a rather different interpretation of the character wong fei-hong ( who is in fact a popular figure from chinese folklore ) , i've been told to suggest the "" once upon a time in china "" series starring jet li ( though i haven't personally seen any of them yet ) . 
if you choose to watch "" drunken master "" , i really hope you enjoy it , and i hope it starts to open your eyes to the wonderful world of asian cinema that's out there . 
all in all , i give this film an . 
"
"1","well , i know that stallone is 50 years old now , but in daylight he doesn't look it ! 
daylight is a great disaster movie . 
if you've seen cliffhanger , you'll know stallone's character already . 
a guy with a bad past , but is in the right place at the wrong time . 
a tunnel connecting new york and new jersey has both sides collapses when a group of robbers collide with a truck carrying * very * flammable toxic waste . 
a dozen or so people survive the collapses and the incinerating fireball ( and what a fire ball it was ! ) 
stallone , a former emergency medical service man , is chauffeuring a rich couple around , when they reach the outside of the tunnel , before the explosion . 
then , 30 minutes into the movie , boom ! 
>from here on , the plot takes a back seat , and we are treated to some of the best camera work and action staged . 
most all the action is plausible and will hold you at the edge of your seat . 
there are a few melodramatic parts here , but , they tend to work out well . 
there is no general antagonist in this film , but the action and suspense makes you forget all about that . 
daylight is a great film , i saw a non-matinee showing of it , and i thought it was worth every penny . 
the characterizations are mostly flat , one dimesional , but they have enough in them to get you to care for some of the characters . 
rob cohen ( dragonheart ) does a great job with this film . 
"
"1","logical time travel movies are a near-impossibility . 
considering that the skeptic's best argument against the possibility of time travel is the idea of altered realities , writing a script that deals with this problem is an imposing task . 
occasionally , we get a film that does manage it . 
terry gilliam's "" 12 monkeys "" was one such film . 
but more frequently , we get films that don't much deal with it at all . 
there is one question to ask in this case : does the film have other virtues that override the existing logical inconsistencies ? 
the "" terminator "" films made up for them with exciting action , "" back to the future "" did it with an entertaining story , and the new film "" frequency "" pulls off the trick with a strong package of its own . 
is "" frequency "" filled with plot holes ? 
yes . 
does it matter ? 
not really . 
the film opens in october of 1969 . 
firefighter frank sullivan ( dennis quaid ) puts his life on the line every time he suits up for his job , then goes home to his loving wife julia ( elizabeth mitchell ) and son johnny ( daniel henson ) . 
the double-pronged story flashes forward to 1999 , where johnny ( now jim caviezel ) is all grown up and working as a police detective . 
a strange occurrence -- the appearance of aurora borealis over new york city -- allows father and son to communicate through the same ham radio frank used in '69 and that john has found in the present day . 
though both are initially skeptical of the idea , john eventually takes this opportunity to warn his father against his impending death in a warehouse fire , and he succeeds in saving frank from certain doom . 
now flooded with memories of a full life with his father alive , john is initially overjoyed , until he discovers that the changes to the timeline have been disastrous : a serial killer that would have died has instead lived to kill seven more women . 
frank and john now must work together to set things right , with john using the information he has gathered in the future to instruct frank on what to do in the past . 
the premise of "" frequency "" is unusual , and requires getting over one very important mental hurdle to fully accept : john and frank are the only ones conscious of how the timeline has been changed as a result of their actions . 
this isn't explained ; you just have to go with it . 
when frank doesn't die in a fire , john is the only one who remembers it differently , while everyone else remembers it the new way . 
the concept also runs into problems concerning just how synchronous the two realities -- 1969 and 1999 -- are to each other . 
sometimes frank's changing the past results in something happening right away in john's world , and sometimes john gets the changes ahead of time . 
now , the filmmakers might have perfectly good explanations for this , and i could probably come up with something fairly convoluted ( but nevertheless logical ) if i thought about it hard enough ( for example , the reason john gets advance information of the serial killer's murders was because the change had already happened in frank's world , and john is only witnessing the * projection * of that change ) , but explanations aren't really the point . 
when "" frequency "" gets cooking , it's a riveting little thriller , even if it is confusing . 
what matters to a film like this is if the plot makes sense in the moment , and "" frequency "" works as long as it keeps moving . 
the film manages to be engaging despite the logical confusion . 
director gregory hoblit and screenwriter toby emmerich structure "" frequency "" as good hollywood entertainment , establishing decent , likable characters , making us care for them , and setting up a goal to be reached and a conflict to be resolved . 
i liked many of the creative touches : the split screens , allowing us to see how the universe is being affected in both realities , and the greater framework of baseball to drive the action forward . 
it actually uses the 1969 mets-orioles world series ( the one that featured the amazin' mets ) to great effect -- frank uses john's advance knowledge of the series outcome to convince his friends to believe him . 
 ( admittedly , this device may only be of interest to a baseball fan like myself . ) 
i even liked the final scene , which features frank and john both fighting the same man simultaneously in different time periods . 
some may find this scene blindingly confusing , as the reality shifts start coming fast and furious , but it does make sense if you think about it ( and give the script a lot of leeway ) , and let's face it : it's a darn cool way to end the film . 
there are enough surprises and plot twists in "" frequency "" to keep you on your toes , and as a result the movie avoids growing stagnant . 
the other major thing to appreciate about "" frequency "" is the handling of the father-son relationship . 
quaid and caviezel carry off their parts easily ; it's a rock-solid job from both actors . 
the relationship is instantly credible because they find the human truth behind the high concept : how would one react to being able to communicate with a dead relative , or with a future descendant ? 
watching the exchanges between frank and john will give you a pretty good idea of how to answer that question . 
the credibility of the human relationship is absolutely crucial to the rest of the film ; if we don't believe in the characters , we don't care about the outcome of the thriller plot . 
here , we do care , because we like the lead actors . 
i also liked some of the supporting cast members . 
elizabeth mitchell gets stuck with two thankless roles , playing julia the doting wife * and * mother , but still performs admirably . 
andre braugher , late of the television show "" homicide : life on the street , "" gives a nice supporting turn as frank's best friend and future colleague of john . 
he has a lovely scene in a diner in which he tries to explain the situation to julia while frank's world series predictions come true before his very eyes . 
braugher strikes the perfect facial expression here , simultaneously dismayed and amused . 
perhaps the only thing i didn't like about "" frequency "" is the overly sentimental coda , during which the camera's focus goes a little too soft and the baseball theme gets carried overboard . 
but that's only because the film had already earned a poignancy without resorting to cheap tactics . 
i freely acknowledge that "" frequency "" may best work as a "" guy "" movie , since it focuses on the very male-oriented idea of father-son relationships ( echoes of "" field of dreams "" can be easily heard ) , but the underlying concept is universally applicable . 
who wouldn't want to speak with a long-dead parent ? 
or see how their children turn out ? 
 "" tell me about your life , son "" -- excuse me while i mist up . 
and don't call me a sissy . 
"
"1","blade is the movie that shows that wesley snipes really can live up to his potential as one of hollywood's premier leading men . 
blade is based on the comic book character of the same name and has that comic book kind of feel to it . 
it is a very stylish movie and for the most part that style works very well . 
although , at a few points i thought i was watching a music video as opposed to a movie . 
the ideas behind blade are good , as is the basic plot of the story . 
but at times , things seem to get a bit muddled , and the writers appear to want to do too many things at once . 
that really doesn't take away from the story too much , but it does hurt it a little bit . 
blade ( snipes ) is half man , half vampire . 
his mother was bitten by a vampire when she was pregnant with him and as a result he has many of the classic traits of a vampire . 
including a thirst for human blood that must be kept under control by a special serum which quenches his blood lust . 
blade has spent his life hunting down and killing vampires as a sort of revenge for the fact that one of their kind killed his mother . 
but this isn't as easy as it seems , because the vampires in blade's world are more sophisticated than the ones that you find in most films . 
the government and other authorities know of the existence of vampires , but they let them feast of the population at large because they are taking bribes from the vampires . 
where do vampires get money ? 
well , in blade , they run multinational companies in order to finance their vampire organizations . 
i personally thought that this whole secret corporate world run by vampires to be a very clever idea , and a great addition to the movie . 
blade runs up against the evil deacon frost ( stephen dorff ) a maverick in the vampire community . 
he isn't content to live among humans , and is convinced that the vampire race is the superior one and he means to insure its superiority . 
he has managed to translate the ancient vampire scrolls that tell of the method of making him an all-powerful vampire -- rendering him virtually unstoppable . 
it's up to blade to see that this doesn't transpire . 
admittedly , blade is style over substance through and through . 
the story is a relatively forgettable one , but it is fun none the less . 
the acting in blade is just about what you would expect from a movie of this type . 
this isn't a film that is going to win accolades for its performances , and the actors know this . 
the movie is played for fun and nobody seems to think otherwise . 
it's a popcorn movie , and no one involved has any illusions otherwise . 
blade's production values are as slick as any that you will find in your typical summer blockbuster . 
the combat sequences between blade and his vampire targets are incredibly well done . 
although , the mtv-style cuts did get on my nerves after a while during long sequences . 
blade is a fun movie with an interesting take on the vampire genre . 
this is not the movie for those of you who like your vampires in tuxedos and living in coffins in the basement of some gothic castle . 
what blade excels at is bringing the classic lore of the vampire into the next century with a fresh outlook on life . 
very cool . 
"
"1","the truman show ( paramount pictures ) running time : 1 hour 42 minutes starring jim carrey and ed harris directed by peter weir after a long wait , jim carrey's dramatic debut finally makes it to the big screen . 
in case you've been asleep for the last few months , the plot centres on truman burbank ( carrey ) who leads an seemingly idyllic life in the beautiful town of seahaven . 
his life seems so perfect , however , because it's controlled by christoff ( harris ) creator of the truman show , the program burbank is unwittingly the hero of . 
that's right , burbank's life is being broadcast live to the american public , and seahaven and all it's inhabitants are inclosed in a massive sound stage . 
the film takes the jerry springer format one step too far . . . 
with an idea so different , it would be easy for the director and screenwriter to dumb it down and appeal to the lowest common denominator . 
luckily , the film remains sensible enough to appeal to all ages , yet never seems to be a dumb carrey movie . 
talking of carrey , he's perfect in this movie , enjoying the best role in his career . 
his character is a re-inforced stanley ipkiss from the mask ( 1994 ) and is completely suited to carrey's persona . 
he occasionally falls into ace ventura mode , shrieking and being silly , but generally the audience is watching subdued carrey . 
he's not completely dramatic like the film promises , however . 
ed harris brings an extreme intensity to christoff , the megalomaniac creator of the show . 
quiet and well spoken , he burns an image into the viewer . 
unfortunately , he's barely in the film , and for the first hour dosen't appear at all ! 
also disappointing is natascha mcelhone's character sylvia . 
she plays the role well , but her character is sadly underwritten and is pushed to the sidelines just when the audience is used to her . 
the supporting cast is excellent , and the town of seahaven looks delightfully perfect , so perfect it's creepy . 
the philip glass soundtrack is also superb , and is used to great effect during the film . 
peter weir keeps the film going , clearly having fun . 
the film is far more upbeat than his previous films dead poets society and green card . 
although it is slightly slow to begin with , about half an hour into film the pace really picks up , and when christoff is introduced fully the film is on a roll . 
sadly , though , the film is practically over when the film is in full steam . 
also , concerning the ending , it is slightly too ambiguous , which was disappointing . 
the screenwriter , andrew niccol , who bought us gattaca ( 1997 ) delivers an entertaining script , and manages to keep the plot in trim . 
while christoff's plans to keep truman in do get increasingly silly , they never go over the line , which would have been easy for niccol to do . 
also , there's some funny gags involving product placement and the people who watch the show . 
overall , the truman show is excellent entertainment . 
certainly different from the usual crap hollywood produces , it should be viewed by everyone . 
it offers something to every member of the audience , and you would almost certainly not come out disappointed . 
overall rating= 
review by david wilcock ? 1998 
 "" you know , for kids "" - norville barnes 
"
"1","no film in recent has left me with such conflicted feelings as neil jordan's harrowing , humorous , horrifying adaptation of patrick mccabe's novel about young lad francie brady's ( eamonn owens ) descent into madness in 1960s ireland . 
on one hand , it was difficult for me to become invested in francie's story because he is such an unsavory character , unjustifyably venting his rage at his nosy but otherwise harmless neighbor mrs . nugent ( fiona shaw ) . 
on another hand , i found it difficult to laugh at some of francie's darkly comic shenanigans because he obviously is such a sick , needy child , having been raised by a drunken father ( stephen rea ) and a suicidal mother ( aisling o'sullivan ) . 
on yet another hand , i also found it difficult to completely sympathize with francie during his more emotional scenes because some of his , for lack of a better word , "" bad "" deeds are so incredibly shocking in their brutality and the malicious glee in which he performs them . 
however , the butcher boy's power is undeniable , and the film as a whole is unforgettable--perhaps because it is so disturbing . 
what makes it so unsettling is the francie's overall wink-wink yet matter-of-fact attitude about everything , expressed in a cheeky voiceover narration delivered by the adult francie ( rea again ) . 
think heavenly creatures played largely for laughs , and you'll sort of understand . 
anchoring the whole film is the astonishing debut performance of owens ; love francie or hate him , you cannot take your eyes off of owens . 
the butcher boy truly is a twisted , unusual film that is bound to make just about anyone uncomfortable . 
in the lobby after the screening , i overheard one man raving about how great yet disturbing it was ; i also heard one particularly offended woman say with disgust , "" that movie was so unfunny ! "" 
 "" i didn't know what to expect . 
it's like something you chase for so long , but then you don't know how to react when you get it . 
i still don't know how to react . "" 
--michael jordan , on winning his first nba championship in 1991 . . . or , 
my thoughts after meeting him on november 21 , 1997 
"
"1","just how inseparable is the team of sgt . 
martin riggs ( mel gibson ) and sgt . 
roger murtaugh ( danny glover ) ? 
let's just say that when one partner asks the other partner to strip to his boxer shorts and then further asks him to run out into the middle of the road , flapping his arms while feverishly cackling like a chicken just to create a distraction , his partner actually does it ! 
the familiar lethal weapon family is back , including rene russo , who is now the expectant mother of riggs' child and joe pesci as the soprana-like , foul-mouthed former accountant who has decided to become a private eye . 
new to the team is chris rock , also a fast-talking , up and coming detective . 
trouble seems to follow the two veteran detectives where ever they go , and in this film , that is no exception . 
even when they are just taking a leisurely boat ride , they somehow manage to collide with a freighter ship . 
we here some ominous music , which clues us that a confrontation is about to happen . 
gunfire ensues , and when it's all over , the detectives want to learn more about this freighter by questioning a chinatown crime lord . 
although they don't know what they're looking for , their inquisitiveness causes the bad guys to take some action . 
and there's plenty of action here for two movies . 
led by fighting sensation jet li , whose martial arts skill is nothing less than impressive , he does what he can to make sure that no one finds out what they are up to . 
li is ruthless in his approach , will kill anyone just to make a point , and develops enormous disdain for the two detectives . 
there are terrific car chases , explosions and gunshot galore . 
it's a summer action recipe followed to the letter , and the result is nothing less than pure , unadulterated summer fun . 
but even too many explosions can get boring . 
to counter that , we are treated to several amazingly choreographed fight sequences with jet li . 
luckily , he'd rather fight hand-to-hand instead of firing off guns . 
meanwhile , when the detectives aren't reloading their guns or running from fireballs , they're engaged in sophomoric banter and silly conversations that provide a nice diversion from the hail of bullets . 
everybody gets in on the shtick . 
russo screams during her delivery , the crime lord has a few funny bits when he's being interrogated while being given laughing gas , and pesci and rock are very funny as they go at it discussing the drawbacks of having cellular phones . 
gibson and glover are always in sync and the film moves at a brisk pace to get to the final and terrific mano a mano . 
score one for the old guard . 
"
"1","since 1990 , the dramatic picture has undergone a certain change of style . 
now , instead of emphasizing feel-good stories replete with characters of noble virtues , the screenplays and direction point toward human struggle and sorrow . 
this realist tendancy can be inspiring at times , as 1993's schindler's list shows . 
most of today's mainstream drama , however , creates an overabundance of emoting that can turn off members of the audience . 
that's why pictures like october sky , which are a throwback to the good ol' dramas of yesteryear , are such a welcome relief in contemporary cinema . 
the movie is based on the true story of homer hickam ( jake gyllenhaal ) , a teenager in the 1950's company town of coalwood , west virginia . 
it's a well-known fact that the only boys to make a name for themselves are the ones that get out of the town on football scholarships ; the rest grow up to work in the coal mine . 
the mine , which is run by homer's father ( chris cooper ) , is not the place for homer , however . 
after watching the soviet satellite sputnik shoot across the october sky in 1957 , homer feels a connection with the outside world -- as he puts it , "" anyone in the world could look up and see the same thing i did . "" 
drafting two of his best friends and the brainiac outcast , homer begins to construct rockets . 
with the help of their history teacher , miss riley ( laura dern ) , and several mine workers , the four are soon bound for great things . 
october sky is a skillfully crafted film , and most of that credit must go to director joe johnston . 
johnston -- whose career in the film industry includes everything from directing well-known titles like jumanji and the rocketeer down to an uncredited role as a death star trooper in star wars -- certainly knows what he's doing here . 
he molds characters which are true to life and also fun to watch into a plot that is straightforward and robust . 
he does not push any barriers , but instead adopts a conservative style of filmmaking which enhances the film's charm . 
his finesse brings out elements which might otherwise be lost -- such as the relationships between homer and various mine workers , or the silent struggle between homer's mother and father . 
the cast is well chosen , although the true bright spots are the supporting roles . 
laura dern ( jurassic park ) lends a strong performance in the role of the history teacher , giving the boys the support and guidance they need . 
her role is instantly likeable . 
chris cooper ( the horse whisperer ) , as homer's father , is less likeable -- even downright despicable at times -- but his turn here gives gravity to the movie . 
he's definitely a driving force in homer's life , and his more humane moments give the piece a certain dynamic that is commendable . 
the script is generally cheerful , projecting the boys' endeavors in a lighthearted manner . 
there are moments when it becomes predictable -- such as the train tracks scene -- and there are moments when it sacrifices orginality for the need to come up with an emotional plot twist . 
it highlights the essence of youth , however , and for its exceptional job at this it can be forgiven other missteps . 
october sky should be a success with audiences . 
although it doesn't have the appeal of current teen flicks like varsity blues or she's all that , it certainly holds an undeniable quality that older crowds will lean towards . 
it's a welcome change to the dramatic genre , and one that everyone should see . 
"
"1","a big surprise to me . 
the good trailer had hinted that they pulled the impossible off , but making a blues brothers movie without jake blues ( john belushi ) is such a dumb idea i really had no hope . 
they replaced him just fine . 
not with john goodman , he didn't do much of anything , but with the brilliant actor joe morton , who can really sing . 
the fourth blues brother is j evan bonifant , who's ten . 
this was another of my fears for the film , but he's a really good dancer , and plays a mean harmonica ( although he may have been dubbed ) . 
things that intellectually had bothered me before , like no mission from god , everyone being richer , it not being filmed in chicago -- gave me no problems at all . 
i'm quite pleased that there were less car pile-ups , because they meant less music , and john landis seems to have lost interest in the whole thing . 
there's a few early crashes , and then one huge pile-up , but after that it all stops . 
it's just the music . 
one of my problems with the first is that cab calloway's song is so good the actually blues brothers look dull after him , but there's no problems with this . 
the music is all as good as ever , tons of great musicians showing up -- with the exception of johnny lang , who can't sing , all the musicians do a great job . 
the only real problems i had was the special effects . 
these were superfluous and a waste of money . 
since the film isn't doing very well , they could mean we have no possibility of another sequel , which i want to see . 
the bluegrass version of riders in the sky is even better than rawhide . 
-- http : //www . geocities . com/hollywood/academy/8034/ 
remove no spam to reply . 
 "" drive carefully but recklessly "" , mama , child's toy "" the only excercise i take is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise . "" 
peter o'toole 
"
"1","after having heard so many critics describe "" return to me "" as an old-fashioned hollywood romance , i kept asking myself going into this movie : what exactly is an old-fashioned hollywood romance ? 
what made "" return to me "" old-fashioned and old-hollywood ? 
was it the tunes from sinatra , etc . , legendary singers the senior citizens in the film constantly harp on ? 
was it the glamorous , sophisticated feel ? 
the charisma of the two leads ? 
even now i can't say that i have gotten any closer to the real answer , because i haven't see that many old-fashioned hollywood romances . 
i don't think any of the romances i've seen have been classified as such . 
which leaves me the option of vaguely agreeing with my fellow critics -- "" return to me "" was old-fashioned in the sense that it reminded me of the way the younger generation perceive venerated old hollywood magic , the way i perceive cinnamon spice and apple cider . 
it was traditional , magical . 
we knew it couldn't be too daring , or have any surprising plot twists that many cynical modern romances are apt to throw in . 
it was a romance told with such endearing simplicity , tenderness , and love ( from director bonnie hunt ) that it couldn't help but sparkle with charm despite its shortcomings . 
the film owes a lot of what it has to bonnie hunt's direction . 
from the very first bird's eye view of chicago , zooming in slowly toward the insignificant bob rueland ( david duchovny ) , accompanied by the "" return to me "" ballad ( by whom ? ) , we can tell we're in for something sweet . 
the scenes between the characters are endearing , truthful , with just a hint of fantasy . 
real people don't act that way ; real people aren't that nice . 
we know all this , and yet we want to believe in these folks' existence . 
the premise itself seems to have sprung out of a fairytale , but hunt's rooting the fairytale in common chicago folk simultaneously lends credit to the scenario and tinges everyday urban life with a hint of the ethereal . 
everything is ordinary--yet beautiful--in this film . 
>from the festive little family restaurant to grace ( minnie driver ) and bob's wardrobes . 
from the eloquent , not-in-a-hurry to progress storyline to the dainty watercolors that grace paints . 
from the animal stars to the way all the characters interact on screen -- the most beautiful part . 
 "" return to me "" has done an excellent job of assembling together a group of actors who blend in effortlessly as a family : the audience has no trouble at all believing that this rambunctious family actually does exist . 
we care for them , laugh with them , cry with them ; we're concerned that the little boy will pick up cursing from his father . 
whatever hunt did , she brought out the naturalism in all of the actors . 
disappointingly , david alan grier's charlie , however much i like him , was the most flatly-written . 
duchovny here does a laudable job of shaking off his fox mulder persona -- with the help of his fellow co-stars rarely do we see any hint of special agent fox mulder . 
instead we have a normal guy who when he falls in love shows more delight than fox mulder will show over the span of an entire season of "" the x-files . "" 
duchovny , who is excellent at understatement and self-deprecation as an actor showcases his considerable comedic talent on screen . 
minnie driver is engaging as always as the sweet , innocent grace with nothing but a good heart to offer . 
though an unlikely pair , duchovny and driver gradually warm up to each other as the movie progresses . 
while "" return to me "" functions remarkably as a laugh-out-loud comedy , a romantic scenic tour through chicago , and a tearjerker , the story is set up so the film ends up having nowhere to develop . 
the entire climax of the film hinges on when and how grace is going to tell bob that she actually was the recipient of his wife's heart . 
we already know that there's going to be a happy ending ; we feel like we spend the entire film , however enjoyably , in a straight line going towards that point . 
as a result bob and grace click almost too quickly--yes , i know she's supposed to have his ex-wife's heart and everything--it seems too effortless . 
the main subject is a love story , and the family scenes i love so much unfortunately are overused and distract from the turmoil of the two main characters ( whose story might not have that much meat after all ) . 
however , in the spirit of "" return to me , "" it won't do to be too picky about how "" old "" hollywood tells its stories . 
i loved knowing that this was a labor of love for bonnie hunt . 
it shows . 
the bottom line : "" return to me "" is nothing remarkable , and yet its sweetness , sincerity , and charm might touch your heart in ways that you hadn't imagined . 
"
"1","wild things is a suspenseful thriller starring matt dillon , denise richards , and neve campbell that deals with all the issues ; sex , love , murder , and betrayal . 
the setting of the film is a town named blue bay . 
it consists of many swamps and slums and , on the other hand , rich estates owned by the town's different benefactors . 
the film opens just before the beginning of a senior seminar at the town's ritzy , expensive high school . 
it is here that we meet all of the core characters . 
there's guidance counselor sam lombardo , police officers ray duquette and gloria perez , dark mysterious senior suzie toller , and the popular head cheerleader kelly van ryan . 
we first see that all of the senior girls are smitten with the handsome guidance counselor , but none more than kelly . 
throughout the first portion of the film we see how far kelly will go to get sam until she accuses him of rape . 
shortly after , suzie , too , confesses that sam raped her as well . 
this pushes kelly's sex craving mother , sandra , to stop at nothing until sam is convicted . 
during the trial , kelly gives a teary confession of how sam raped her . 
however , it is later revealed by suzie that sam never raped either of the girls , it was all a vengeful plan against the guidance counselor . 
after sam is cleared , kelly's mother pays sam a very substantial amount of cash in order for him not to sue her . 
it is then revealed that sam , kelly , and suzie were all in on it together . 
it is here that the film starts to reveal just who is being honest with each other and who has their own hidden agenda . 
matt dillon stars as sam lombardo . 
sam is the kind of guy that every woman would like to sink their claws into , and sam obviously knows it and uses it to his own advantage . 
he isn't the obvious best of actors , but dillon does give a convincing performance . 
however , his talents seem to be rendered useless near the end of the film , making it look as though his character has lost all of his ethics and principles , although he never had many to start out with in the first place . 
neve campbell , who most people relate to scream and scream 2 , plays blue bay outcast suzie toller . 
suzie obviously has some serious issues to deal with which are obvious from her first scene in the film . 
campbell is very successful with this character , adding the slightest bit of charm to a seemingly repulsive character and making her fun to watch . 
playing kelly van ryan is denise richards . 
kelly is your typical , rich , sexy , head cheerleader who thinks she can have any man she choses , like her sexpot mother sandra . 
one of the most interesting things about this film is how it compares and contrasts the relationship between kelly and her mother . 
denise richards , still hot off the press from starship troopers , gives the most interesting performance in the entire film . 
in the beginning , kelly looks to be a paper thin character , but richards adds a little more spice and ultimately makes the character not only sexy , but dominating as well . 
kevin bacon gives one of his fair performances as ray duquette . 
this character looks to be one of the most boring , predictable in the film . 
however , it is a relationship revealed between him and suzie that adds depth to his story . 
still , the film doesn't seem to gain much from bacon's performance , only his name . 
in the supporting cast , theresa russell plays the much oversexed sandra van ryan , daphne rubin-vega gives an unappealing performance as cop gloria perez , and bill murray shines as sam's lawyer , ken bowden . 
hats off to murray for adding the perfect touch of comedy to the film . 
although wild things was displayed by the press as being an erotic thriller , the eroticism , which is portrayed with good taste , is kept to a minimum and focuses more on the plot and the relationships between the characters . 
this is truly a very good film worth seeing if your looking for a movie with a thick plot filled with it's share of twists . 
"
"1"," * * * * * * minor plot spoilers in review * * * * * * * * * * * * no major spoilers are in review * * * * * * 
the previous two "" alien "" films have each had their own unique styles to them . 
the ridley scott's alien was very much a stylistic suspense film . 
james cameron's aliens was much more of an action film . 
and i liked each film separately for which it was . 
now alien 3 is out . 
and it is it's own film in the same right that alien and aliens were . 
unlike aliens , alien 3 requires that you have seen aliens . 
this is very important as the story picks up exactly were aliens left off . 
the survivors of the expedition to lv-426 are returning home after battling and beating the aliens . 
the climactic fight scene between ripley and the mother alien on the sulaco in aliens left behind one item , an egg . 
in the opening sequence we see the egg hatch , find its quarry , which leads to a fire aboard the sulaco when the facehugger is injured , an leads the sulaco to jettison the hypersleep tubes in an escape vessel . 
this vessel crash lands on fury 109 . 
everyone in the vessel is killed , except ripley . 
the facehugger is jettisoned with them and survives the crash . 
fury 109 is an ex-mining/maximum security prison . 
when closed down , some of the lifer prisoners decided to stay and live out the remaining years on the planet . 
all the prisoners are men who have not seen a woman in many years . 
ripley's arrival sparks a problem with the inmates . 
as for the new haircut that ripley and the prisoner's sport , there is an infestation of lice on the planet . 
being an ex-prison means that there is no way off the planet and no weapons . 
so the prisoners and ripley are off to face the alien on their own . 
i will not go into detail , but you can guess what happens here . 
the alien is loose and no one believes ripley's outstanding story . 
she finds comfort in the arms of the colony's doctor . 
yes , after 57 years ripley has sex . 
it is not gratuitous , in fact , we don't even see them kiss , but it is just as well . 
a sweaty sex scene would not have worked in the context of the film . 
there is a lot more gore in alien 3 . 
in fact i would guess to say that there is more in alien 3 than either of the earlier two . 
it also sports a new alien with 4 legs ! 
i won't say how , but it leads us to believe a few new things about the alien and its cycle , which i am sure will be explored in alien 4 . 
sigourney weaver is back as ripley and provides another excellent performance of this character . 
her scene during the autopsy of newt is enough to garnish her another academy nomination . 
the rest of the cast is also quite good . 
notably , charles dance as the doctor with whom ripley finds momentary escape from fury 109 . 
alien 3 has a very distinct look . 
this is due largely to its director , david fincher . 
mr . fincher , who until now has only directed music videos and commercials , has done an incredible job here . 
his direction is excellent and makes this film come to life in ways no "" alien "" film has before . 
for mr . fincher , i see a long prosperous career ahead of him . 
the music was also done by a newcomer to the film industry . 
elliot goldenthal has created a deeply moving score which lends itself to the claustrophobic setting that the "" alien "" series been set in . 
this time the score is not so much a rip off of star trek ii ( james horner's aliens ) . 
this score has a choral back up at times and even lends itself to the old style of ennio morricone scoring . 
this is a great score . 
the ending to alien 3 is quite good . 
there were times i thought that hollywood would come in and screw it up , but it played very nicely . 
i will not ruin the ending for you . 
go see the film . 
i consider it to be a much more involved film than any of the other films released so far this season . 
alien 3 is a worthy successor to aliens and alien . 
and when they make alien 4 , perhaps they will be able to find yet another new direction to take it in . 
"
"1","are you tired of all the hot new releases being gone by the time you get to the video store ? 
wafflemovies . com is dedicated to finding those hidden gems that lie on the shelves . 
everyweek , wafflemovies . com 
reviews independent film and big studio pictures that deserve a second chance on video . 
here is a sample review : 
welcome to sarajevo 
in light of america's recent intervention in kosovo , welcome to sarajevo is a reminder of the horror america and the world ignored for years . 
set in sarajevo 1992 and based on actual events , this picture examines the human and societal casualties of war . 
the picture opens with a family escorting their young bride to her wedding . 
as they make their way down the street , a sniper shoots the mother of the bride . 
yet another reminder that daily life in war torn sarajevo can never escape the horror of war . 
in this scene , we meet joe flynn ( woody harrelson ) , an american reporter who stops reporting to help a priest carry the mortally wounded mother into a church . 
joe is cocky , but also good at heart as he continues to carry out kind deeds for people he doesn't even know . 
his fellow reporter is the british michael henderson ( stephen dillane ) . 
michael is quickly growing tired of the horror that surrounds him and the world's lack of interest . 
henderson is haunted by the memory of an altar boy who witnesses the mother's death as well as a young girl who he finds orphaned in a hospital after a mortar attack on citizens waiting in line for bread . 
he decides to take action when a united nations' delegation descends upon the area to declare yugoslavia the fourteenth most dangerous place on earth . 
henderson begins a series profiling an orphanage located on the front lines . 
he finds children of all ages living in fear and taking care of each other with the help of one adult . 
during his visits , he befriends a pre-teen girl , emira ( emira nuseric ) who serves as surrogate mother to baby roadrunner . 
he promises to get emira out of harm's way if he gets the chance . 
after the un delegation leaves the country without rescuing any of the children , henderson loses hope . 
however , his reporting has grabbed the attention of nina ( marisa tomei ) and her children's aid group that helps to find homes for the yugoslavian orphans . 
unfortunately , only babies are wanted for adoption , so henderson pledges to take emira to england . 
the group of children , nina and henderson depart the front lines on a dangerous escape for italy . 
can they complete this dangerous trek through the war torn countryside and avoid hostile troops gathering up muslims for concentration camps ? 
the movie was beautifully and sensitively made . 
director michael winterbottom and screenwriter frank cottrell boyce vividly express the societal destruction that has occurred . 
they show the destroyed lives , families that have been split up , and the desolation that everyone attempts to cope with . 
this is best exemplified by the group of yugoslavians henderson , his producer and flynn have befriended . 
the group of twenty-somethings reside in a bombed out bar without life's simplest pleasures and amenities . 
one of them is an accomplished musician who spends his days playing the piano and promising to play a concert when sarajevo is declared the most dangerous place on earth . 
like the rest of those deeply effected by the war , this small group tries to survive instead of trying to live . 
winterbottom brilliantly intersplices scenes with actual news footage to give the film the feel of a documentary and keeps the viewer aware that many of these horrors are being carried out thousands of miles away as you sit safely in your living room . 
the picture is also bolstered by beautiful cinematography that captures the devastation of this city that hosted the 1984 olympics . 
winterbottom and boyce also produce a realistic portrayal of the reporters covering the atrocities . 
this portrayal is much more flattering to reporters than earlier wafflemovies . com 
selection mad city . 
we watch them struggle to cover the horror , while trying to remain professionally detached . 
however , they are human and question the reason behind it all , why no one cares , and how they can get out . 
stephen dillane is wonderful as henderson . 
he portrays the character as an everyman caught in the middle of extraordinary events . 
dillane avoids making the character overly heroic and preachy . 
henderson realizes that he cannot save the world , but he can help a few . 
it is a wonderful opportunity for dillane after he had to suffer through the denis leary-sandra bullock disaster two if by sea . 
woody harrelson continues to prove that he is one of the finest , most versatile actors of his generation . 
harrelson plays the cocky celebrity reporter with a heart of gold by allowing the character's caring nature and vulnerability shine through . 
harrelson is equally adept at taking on roles as zany leading men ( cheers , white men can't jump ) as well as excellent supporting roles such as this one . 
this ability will serve him well and give him a long , successful career . 
america's involvement in this struggle comes seven years after the events of the movie take place . 
for those who do not have a full understanding of the history of the conflict , the entire movie , most importantly the opening scenes , provide a history lesson . 
war is a foreign concept to most of us in america . 
battles are fought thousands of miles away among people we have no attachment to . 
televised images of the gulf war are all the experience most of us have with war . 
this picture brings it right into your living room and makes you think outside of our own small world , something we don't do enough of in 90's america . 
"
"1","many people dislike french films for their lack of closure . 
while possibly shallow , i've often had a desire for a sense of epiphany , or at least a resolution , in the films which i view . 
there is no revelation in un coeur en hiver in the traditional ; however , the film is incredibly successful in its passionate dramatization of a passion-denying protagonist , stephane ( daniel auteuil ) . 
stephane ( daniel auteuil ) is a master violin maker . 
he is passionless about all that which surrounds him except his craft and the music which his craft is responsible for producing . 
even the relationship between he and his boss , maxime ( andre dussollier ) is a controlled , and almost manipulated association , highlighted by the fact that stephane permits maxime to win close squash matches . 
in the beginning of the movie , stephane is a closed , solitary individual and the audience is carefully left to wonder about the depth of emotion behind this enigmatic man . 
camille kessler ( emmanuelle beart ) is a master violinist and the new love of maximes . 
maxime is so much in love with camille that he plans to and does leave his wife . 
like stephane , camille is outwardly very controlled and reserved , sacrificing all thought and emotion to her violin and the music which emerges . 
when stephane and camille meet , there is a recognition of a bonding by both individuals . 
however , whereas camille submits to the wild interplay of emotions which she now feels for stephane , stephane only admits that camille is attracted to him . 
stephane ignores his feelings for camille , which the audience cannot help but to see is present . 
as the movie progresses , the two characters become more and more polarized in their views and emotions for one another . 
these two people , with very similar approaches to life initially , react to their new circumstance very differently . 
stephane becomes even more rational and controlled , while camille becomes more tempestuous , until she almost borders on suffering a nervous breakdown due to the inability to consummate their relationship . 
however , their approach to each other is perhaps not surprising considering their vocation . 
the audience is led to believe that stephane may have been a genius as a violinist as well , due to his relationship with a master violin teacher . 
however , apparently , he could not be a violinist due to his intolerance for flaws in his playing . 
consequently , stephane becomes a precision craftsmen with the instrument and no longer plays . 
in contrast , camille had almost given the violin , years earlier . 
however , with the aid of her manager , she has progressed to being almost one of the world's finest , successfully submerging herself to her playing . 
during the course of the movie , we see both characters evolve as they struggle to meet the challenge of their new emotions . 
stephane attempts to remain unchanged . 
however , we do see subtle hints of his transformation . 
one of the most obvious is when he defeats maxime in squash . 
the development of all of the characters , many of which is not included in this synopsis , is incredible . 
american movies , with rare exceptions , have not and i would daresay cannot approach foreign films in character development . 
in its essence , this movie is about the development and growth of the characters , camille and stephane . 
the portrayal of all the other characters in the movie , including a death , is to further the development of camille's and stepahne's characters . 
i am not sure why berardinelli says , "" at times it becomes difficult to determine whether stephane should be pitied or vilified , and it is to auteuil's credit that he manages to maintain this uncertainty . "" 
this movie is not about judging stephane's actions as being right or wrong , but about viewing their growth and accepting the characters as who they are . 
i find the ending appropriate ; unfortunately , i found the last ten minutes which led up to the final scene to be very unfulfilling . 
this portion of the film is where the "" sense of closure "" could have been successfully accomplished . 
unfortunately , there is a hurried and almost a soap opera-type surge of emotions from all of the characters . 
while ravel may not be quite as accomplished as schubert or mozart , ravel has his day in this film . 
the synergism of the tension of ravel's music and tension on the screen is the best i have ever seen . 
the directing in this movie is wonderful . 
the actors and actresses are excellent , each playing their part with great sincerity and warmth . 
emmanuelle beart's personality is beautiful . 
and needless to say , i must say that emmanuelle beart , herself , is beautiful . 
besides the near ending , the only other criticism of the movie which i have is that the movie is almost too cerebral . 
i almost left with the sense little happened because almost all the changes which occur in the movie happen in deep in their psyches and little in their personalities or the situations which they end as part of . 
the one question which i am left with is while they have accepted their lot , has their attitude towards love changed ? 
i have several possibilities which i believe the movie hints at , but i am unsure of which the director is espousing . 
in summary , this movie is solely about the character growth of two characters who almost develop a relationship . 
in the process , we see their attitude towards life and other people . 
in itself , i do not believe un coeur is a complicated movie . 
where it does become complicated is when we juxtapose the scenes of the movie into the greater walk of life where we , as americans , have preconceived american notions of relationship , love , and people . 
i do wonder how the movie translates when viewed within its native french culture . 
however , i , bringing my american preconceptions , enjoyed the film . 
i would welcome any comments about this movie from any who have seen it . 
"
"1","the keen wisdom of an elderly bank robber , the naive ambitions of a sexy hospital nurse , and a partnership that blossoms between the two are the fine components that make up a modest , little caper adventure entitled `where the money is . ' 
the elderly bank robber is henry ( paul newman ) , a famous criminal that was only recently caught . 
he has pulled off dozens of successful heists and has probably stashed away a small fortune . 
always the shrewd thinker , he begins working on a plan to get out of jail . 
this involves years of studying buddhism and self-hypnosis . 
when he is prepared to execute his plan , he uses what he has learned to fake a stroke . 
now a seemingly twitching vegetable , he is temporarily transferred to a state-run home . 
carol ( linda fiorentino ) is the nurse that cares for him . 
she's a very bright person with a good heart . 
yet , her life is a miserable waste of time . 
the most exciting thing to do in town is to fix cars . 
her days at the hospital facility are spent leading wheelchair calisthenics . 
worse , she's in a dead-end relationship with high-school sweetheart wayne ( dylan mcdermott ) . 
they became a couple because they were king and queen of the prom . 
to her , this made sense long ago . 
but now , it's a different story . 
wayne seems equally bored with his life , but is content enough to stay put . 
wayne's greatest ambition is to become a night shift supervising foreman . 
carol feels as lifeless as many of the other hospital patients , but she's never been anywhere else and doesn't see many other opportunities in life . 
however , when henry falls under her care , her outlook begins to change . 
the medical reports may state that he suffered a massive stroke . 
carol , however , begins to grow suspicious that henry may just be faking it after all . 
maybe she can get through to him , and maybe she can learn something about the money that he has stashed away . 
the opening 30 minutes are filled with hilarious attempts of carol trying to bring henry ? back to life . ' 
and what are some of carol's resuscitation techniques ? 
perhaps an erotic lapdance might stir his senses . 
if that fails , maybe she'll try a little shock therapy by pushing him off a 20-foot high pier into the cold lake below . 
when he finally comes out of his state of self-trance , the movie's direction changes , though it remains equally if not more entertaining . 
carol sees that henry is filled with charisma and self-assuredness . 
she is invigorated by his commanding presence and refreshed by his vibrancy . 
this , of course , puts wayne in an odd situation . 
henry and carol's bond grows stronger when they enter into an agreement to rob an armored car . 
henry needs this heist because he is unable to retrieve his original stash . 
meanwhile , this is carol's ticket to a better life . 
wayne is uncomfortable with the situation , but helps out nonetheless . 
however , his lack of commitment threatens their success . 
the heist sequence is suspenseful , well paced , and casts the uneasy feeling that something will horribly go wrong . 
`where the money is' does more to spotlight newman and fiorentino than it does to showcase a story about a nifty heist . 
newman is the real joy of the film , adroitly showing that at age 75 , he's still really hot stuff . 
he possesses a sly smile , displays a dominating attitude , and a projects a demeanor that is undeniably attractive . 
fiorentino is also a fun presence . 
you root for her despite her sense of amorality . 
sure , she wants to commit robbery and has little compunction about pushing a wheelchair-stricken man into a lake , but we can see that to escape her dead-end world , she needs to do something drastic . 
with two charismatic characters such as these , it's hard to ignore that `where the money is' is where the fun is . 
"
"1","robert benton has assembled a stellar , mature cast for his latest feature , twilight , a film noir mystery set amid the fading stars of hollywood . 
paul newman stars as retired detective harry ross . 
harry has spent the last couple of years doing odd jobs for jack and catherine ames ( gene hackman and susan sarandon ) , a pair of married actors who have fallen from the limelight . 
when jack sends him on a routine delivery job , however , the old instincts kick in . 
soon , harry is wading through a mystery where friendships and lives are on the line , and he no longer knows who to trust . 
there are plenty of familiar faces throughout twilight , in addition to newman , hackman and sarandon . 
james garner plays raymond hope , a former cop and one of harry's best friends . 
stockard channing plays verna , harry's former partner , and possibly a former love interest . 
reese witherspoon is mel , the distrustful daughter of the ames' , and liev schrieber is her scuzzy boyfriend . 
giancarlo esposito appears as harry's bumbling detective protigi , and john spencer is a suspicious police captain . 
with a cast like that , it's almost worth watching twilight just to stargaze . 
luckily , there's more to the film than some sort of actor's recognition ceremony . 
twilight has a solid film noir-ish plot . 
it may not have as many twists and turns as some of the classics , but it has much more than a lot of what passes for film these days . 
the major cast members all deliver strong performances , as can be expected of their caliber . 
however , none of them have that little extra oomph which would make them memorable . 
the supporting cast is enjoyable , if a little underdrawn . 
stockard channing's character , in particular , is a cipher . 
there's more to her character than the film takes the time to describe . 
it's a minor , but irritating , flaw . 
with a solid cast , and a good plot , there's a lot to recommend about twilight . 
it's biggest flaw is actually its short running time . 
at a slim 94 minutes , there's a lot of stuff that's packed into an awfully small package . 
still , the chance to see newman , sarandon and hackman working together is worth a cramp or two . 
"
"1","warning : anyone offended by blatant , leering machismo had better avoid this film . 
or lots of blood & guts , men against men and mano-et-mano stuff . 
in other words , it's a walter hill film ! 
with a john milius script ! 
i always picture these guys getting together and producing a movie between arm-wrestling matches . 
these films always contain male characters i have a very hard time identifying with , probably due to the likelihood that any meeting between them and me would result in my arm being ripped off and then my subsequent death by beating with said limb . 
and we got tough guys galore , here ; drug-running banditos by the dozens , all dirty and sweaty and pretty ill-tempered , overall ; a secret task force of army commandos who are in the area to cover-up ( supposedly ) any connection between the government and the drug runners ; and lots of shit-kicking texas dirt farmers who'd as soon shoot you between the eyes as look at you . 
in particular , we got nick nolte as one hard-ass texas ranger , powers boothe as the drug kingpin , michael ironsides as the leader of the secret army , and rip torn as the local sheriff . 
torn is the sympathetic figure of the group ; he smiles before shooting anyone . 
as to women . . . 
well , i've never seen jane fonda or meryl streep in a walter hill film , and at this rate , i doubt i ever will . 
women exist here to look good , comfort the man , and get argued over . 
gosh ! 
just like the old days . . . 
frankly , this is a pretty good movie , if you can accept the premise and can take the macho stuff . 
the cinematography is excellent , the cast of characters is broad and has texture , the script is quite good , and the film lets you keep up with what's happening yourself , without spelling it out to you . 
i appreciate a film that makes me have to think to keep up . 
finally , there's lots of sam peckinpah slow-motion shoot-ups . 
"
"1","accepting his oscar as producer of this year's best picture winner , saul zaentz remarked that his cup runneth over . 
one could almost say the same about his much-prized film . 
rarely is the screen so overflowing with potent imagery , symbolism , ideas and metaphors , complex and literate storytelling , all possessed of an intelligence that invites -- even demands -- constant scrutiny , an acuity of perception and observation that must somehow yield the truth . 
in short , the antithesis of all things hollywood . 
yet this surfeit of signals is made to serve a rather pale and thinly realized love story whose emotional impact is as dry as a desert wind . 
ralph fiennes is the title character , an amnesiac burn victim whose gradual return to memory , and particularly the memory of love , is the ostensible focus of the film . 
but despite the use of numerous flashbacks to help put the pieces of this personal puzzle together , we never learn enough about the man to feel much empathy for him . 
his emotional life before the story begins is an essential clue that remains withheld . 
the same can easily be said for every other character in the film , of which there are too many . 
juliette binoche's nurse comes as close as this film gets to an emotional heart . 
at least we learn early on that she is scarred by the deaths of those close to her , and so we understand why she is eager to escape the company of her comrades in order to seek refuge in the convalescence of a mysterious , disfigured , dying stranger . 
even this information is imparted so quickly and in such cursory fashion , however , that it verges on the comical . 
with so many characters enjoying so little screen time , the film's 160 minutes can be taxing . 
yet there is something so captivating about the sensibility behind the camera that i couldn't help but feel that greatness was in the air . 
hints of it were everywhere -- in a man who hates ownership but wants desperately to possess his lover ; in ancient cave paintings of swimmers copied casually by a modern-day swimmer in the sahara ; in the way the shifting sands of time obliterate everything more completely than a world war . 
there is enough latent meaning to supply college film students with paper topics for years . 
but ultimately the emotional truths writer-director anthony minghella was grasping for were never revealed . 
in the end , i was left with the impression that i had witnessed quite an oxymoron : a haunting bore . 
bore is perhaps too strong a word . 
but after drinking in the rich production values , the cup remains only slightly over half-full . 
"
"1","a bleak look at how the boston underworld operates , a film which was based on the best-seller by george v . , higgins . 
it is seen through the weary eyes of a 51-year-old , small-time hood , eddie "" fingers "" coyle ( mitchum ) . 
he got the nickname when a mob boss in his underworld element shut the draw on his hand as a punishment . 
his current dilemma is that he got caught running illegal booze by truck and faces a 3-5 year stretch in new hampshire , something he feels will be a life sentence for him since he doesn't think he could survive prison at his age . 
he is also concerned that his wife and three kids will have to go on welfare . 
he could have cut a deal and gotten off , if he turned his boss over to the d . a . , but he figured he would never live if he did that . 
he is currently gun-running for a gang of very successful bank robbers led by scalise ( rocco ) . 
the masked bank robbers operate by always first going to the bank manager's house and holding his family hostage and then they go to the bank and force the manager to open the vault for them or else his family gets it . 
on one of the heists , they kill a bank officer who pushes the alarm . 
coyle's best friend is dillon ( boyle ) , a hit man for the mob , working as a bartender . 
he is a permanent stoolie for the treasury agents , as an aggressive young agent named foley ( jordan ) , who likes to be called uncle , gives dillon breathing room to operate some of his low-level crime activities and to work the bar even though he has a prison record , as long as he keeps getting valuable info from him on things happening with the gangs . 
with the sentencing date closing in on him , the already convicted coyle is out on bail and looking for an angle to cut his jail time . 
he contacts agent foley and gives him a few inconsequential tips and then decides to do something that goes against his grain . 
thinking he made an iron-clad deal with foley to get his sentenced squashed in new hampshire , he gives him the place where a sale of machine guns is going down , knowing full-well the young hustler ( keats ) selling the guns is a lot like he was as a youth and when arrested will be facing a life sentence . 
but foley tells him after he arrests the gun-dealer , that new hampshire wants more before they take away his jail sentence , they want him to be a full-time informer . 
warning : spoiler follows in next paragraph . 
the bank robbers are setup and caught in the act and the mob boss is convinced coyle did it and gives dillon the contract to take care of his friend . 
the contemptuous dillon befriends coyle and treats him to a steak dinner and takes him to a bruin hockey game while getting him boozed up . 
coyle takes a look at the young bruin star bobby orr from his upper deck seat and says , "" to be young like that and have his future , he's the greatest hockey player in the world . "" 
dillon then takes the drunken coyle for a long drive and executes him mob-style , having a kid who works for him dump the body in some bad section of boston . 
this is a great atmospheric film due to the realistic noir mood it sets , of the hopeless situation the low-level criminals are in , and how they are forced to live with fear and the uncertainty of what horrible thing will happen next . 
the city streets are ugly , the gangsters are shown to be capable of any action to defend their own interests , whether it is betrayal or murder . 
there is a fatalistic feel about their lives , something robert mitchum wears as easily as others put on a hat . 
mitchum gives this film all the intensity and purpose it needs , as it overcomes a thin plot . 
it makes you see the characters for what they are without any false sympathy for them . 
mitchum is a loser ; and , that he lived so long , is a tribute to his skills as a survivor . 
but in the end , he even loses the respect he had among his underworld friends as a standup guy , as he wrestled with his code of honor and lost even that battle . 
"
"1"," "" footloose "" has only one goal in mind : to reel in an audience with cheesy sentiment and feel-good antics . 
and i hate to admit it ; i fell for it . 
the movie is about a teenager ( bacon ) who moves to a small town from the big city , and discovers that dancing has been banned by the local reverend ( lithgow ) . 
he ends up falling for the preacher's daughter ( singer ) and showing the whole town what the magic of dance can do . 
as mentioned at the beginning of this review , "" footloose "" is an extremely hokey and predictable teen drama . 
there are virtually no surprises , and the writing is second-rate . 
so why did i enjoy it so much ? 
for one thing , the cast is great . 
kevin bacon oozes charisma in an early role . 
we're rooting for him right from the start , and , unlike most films of this genre , bacon doesn't play him as the "" rebel without a clue "" sort . 
yes , he does rebel , but he's also polite when he needs to be . 
and he never broods . 
the rest of the cast is equally impressive . 
john lithgow , seen here playing a normal guy for a change , is playing a man who would normally be a flat out villian . 
but lithgow plays him as a concerned father who is trying to do what he feels is best for his daughter . 
by the end of the film , we feel a genuine sense of love and understanding between him and the lori singer character . 
another nice touch is the music . 
we see the parents of the kids complaining that the music they listen to is filled with "" sexual innuendos "" , but that's not true at all . 
the title track , performed by kenny loggins , is upbeat and fun . 
during the final sequence , i was overcome with the urge to get off the couch and start dancing . 
of course , i soon realized that would be a little pathetic . 
anyway , "" footloose "" is a charming little surprise . 
don't let the premise prevent you from watching it . 
it sucked me in , and it'll do the same to you . 
"
"1","as i walked out of crouching tiger , hidden dragon i thought to myself that i had had just seen a great film . 
with the passage of a few hours i tempered my enthusiasm and started pondering the question of whether a masterpiece must implicitly be a "" great "" piece of work and viceversa . 
attempting to make a distinction may be a matter of splitting hairs . 
i avoided a commitment by appealing to etymology . 
as the word implies , a masterpiece is any work which embodies the skills of a master . 
as such it should suffice to say that it is a product of exceptional quality . 
crouching tiger , hidden dragon fits comfortably in that category . 
crouching tiger , hidden dragon immerses the viewer in an idealized world of oriental folklore , with the requisite blend of legend , fantasy , magic and mythology . 
it is reminiscent of a wagnerian epic with characters which might as well be half-gods - greater than life , purer than life , stronger than life , physically invincible and able to accomplish superhuman feats , but with a human soul that makes them ultimately vulnerable . 
all the classic elements of the oriental mystique are thrown into the mix , including the art of contemplation and the concept of martial dexterity as the physical equivalent of spiritual advancement . 
the classic struggle between good and evil is the inevitable backdrop , with advanced masters of each and a golden pupil , which must choose between the two . 
it is the gifted pupil who , under the influence of the evil master steals the holy grail in the form of a magic sword which is the focus of the conflict at the heart of the legend . 
the elements of romance at two different levels of enlightenment ( a pair of masters and a pair of youngsters ) are poignantly represented . 
the paradox of oriental restraint existing side by side with all consuming passion in the same breast is projected effectively . 
the fight scenes are stunning balletic tours-de-force , not to be taken literally but clearly to be enjoyed as superb cinematic art , as are the prodigious leaps and flights to , from and between rooftops , the martial combat at the top of swaying bamboo branches and the combatants skipping like pebbles along the surface of a lake . 
there need be no question of suspended disbelief when one is in the presence of poetry . 
as in a wagnerian opera there is a substantial story line , which takes place at an ordinary human level , yet the entire project is to be accepted as a work of art rooted in fantasy . 
do not assume , however , that the art is limp-wristed . 
for those who are put off by the "" art "" label this film can be confidently recommended as engrossing entertainment at the levels of adventure , action and romance . 
there are no weak performances in this movie . 
michelle yeoh imbues her character with depth , humanity and wisdom . 
chow yon fat projects dignity and purity of heart . 
zhang ziyi is a budding superstar . 
she is radiantly beautiful and totally persuasive in a multifaceted role . 
cheng pei pei as the evil master and chang cheng as the bandit prince acquit themselves admirably . 
kudos to screenwriters james schamus , wang hui ling and tsai kuo jing , choreographer yuen wo-ping , photography director peter pau and music director tan dun , each of which contribute quality components to this extraordinary film . 
ang lee as the director , co-producer and mastermind of the project gets the lion share of the credit . 
this is destined to be one of those films that everybody likes , including those who hate martial arts movies . 
don't miss it . 
"
"1"," "" crazy/beautiful "" suffers from the damned-if-you-do , damned-if-you-don't syndrome . 
after a spate of flighty , cookie-cutter teen films , the romantic drama addresses alcoholism and parental loss along with its love story . 
but rather than applaud the production , early reviews have dismissed it as an overblown "" afterschool special . "" 
even worse , in the wake of federal trade commission hearings that blasted the industry for marketing violent and sexual movies to young people , the studio got a case of the heebie-jeebies and forced director john stockwell to re-shoot scenes and cut footage to "" tone things down . "" 
needless to say , the filmmaker was frustrated . 
 "" we were trying to make a cautionary tale , "" he told newsweek , "" and we couldn't show the behavior we were trying to caution people away from . "" 
regardless , the film works , thanks to exceptional performances from its lead players and a script determined to transcend stereotypes . 
 "" crazy/beautiful "" is quality fare , good enough that i half-expected the summer movie crap police to walk into the press screening and confiscate the print for "" failure to incorporate explosions and poop jokes . "" 
set in pacific palisades , calif . , the story follows the burgeoning relationship between two teens . 
every morning and evening , carlos nunez ( jay hernandez ) takes a two-hour bus ride in order to attend pacific high school . 
an honor student and star athlete , carlos is responsible , modest and focused as he works on securing a place in the naval academy . 
all is well until he meets nicole oakley ( kirsten dunst ) , the daughter of a rich congressman ( bruce davison ) . 
nicole is a drunk apparently hell-bent on self-destruction . 
carlos is smart enough to recognize the danger in getting involved with her , but he is only human and she has the greatest smile . 
plus , as her father notes , she has a real knack for drawing others into her downward spiral . 
as with "" save the last dance , "" "" crazy/beautiful "" ( god , how i hate lower-case titles ) takes situations that look stale on paper and makes them seem fresh . 
while noting the racial and social differences between the kids , the screenplay dances around most of the clich ? s ( there are still several mtv moments , though ) . 
the filmmakers make a point to give characters that crucial extra bit of shading that turns them into individuals instead of stereotypes and the actors take it from there . 
cute-as-a-button dunst forces the viewer to share the pain beneath nicole's behavior . 
she is credible enough that when dad urges carlos to get away from her before she drags him down , i hoped the boy would listen . 
as carlos , hernandez is a revelation . 
hunky without looking like the product of a hollywood design team , the young man can really act ; we will see a lot of this guy in the future . 
aside from its title , the biggest problem with "" crazy/beautiful "" is its ending , which wraps everything up too fast and too tidy . 
after carefully presenting credible characters and situations , the conclusion feels rushed and lazy . 
still , this is the kind of film that deserves accolades from critics instead of cheap shots . 
 "" afterschool special "" my ass ? "" crazy/beautiful "" is the real deal . 
"
"1","everyone knows someone like giles de'ath : stuffy , arrogant , set in his ways , and at war with anything that could in any way be associated with "" progress . "" 
giles is a writer , but the product of his typewriter is the kind of scholarly stuff that is immediately put onto library stacks where it can gather dust until some graduate student needs another reference for his or her thesis . 
his house looks like an immaculate museum ? with no television , microwave , word processor , or other technological gadgets , only the electric lights betray that he's living in the twentieth century , not the nineteenth . 
this is the kind of role that could easily be turned into a flat stereotype , but john hurt , in what is certainly his best performance in a decade and possibly the most impressive of his long and distinguished career , turns "" erstwhile fogy "" giles into a three-dimensional human being . 
despite his tunnel vision , it's impossible not to like the man , especially after his entire being is transformed by that singular affliction to which no one is immune : love . 
and , as giles discovers during the course of this amusing , warm-hearted motion picture , it's possible to find the object of one's affection in the most unusual places . 
giles , who is a widower and a recluse , does not frequent the cinema , but when he learns that an e . m . forster film is playing at the local theater , he screws up his courage and decides to go . 
what he doesn't realize is that the movie house is showing two films : the forster adaptation and a teen exploitation flick called hotpants college ii . 
a nonplused giles ends up sitting in a darkened room watching buff male and female bodies in various states of undress . 
just as giles is about to leave , however , he notices ronnie bostock ( jason priestley ) , and , suddenly , it's love at first sight . 
giles is enraptured , and the moment hotpants college ii is over , he beings to scour stores for bostock memorabilia , including teen magazines and video tapes . 
 ( in order to watch those tapes , giles must buy a vcr , but he initially doesn't realize that he needs a tv to use the vcr . ) 
eventually , not satisfied with being the world's foremost authority on bostock , giles boards a plane and travels to long island , where his idol's home is located . 
bostock is away when giles arrives , but the wily englishman manages to befriend ronnie's supermodel girlfriend , audrey ( fiona loewi ) . 
eventually , the actor arrives home and , impressed with giles' demeanor and intelligence , he begins to rely on the older man's advice . 
but , while giles' affection runs deep , ronnie's feelings are less constant . 
love and death on long island is a comedy , and a very funny one at that . 
in fact , for its first half , the film is nearly-perfect . 
it suffers a fall-off once giles reaches new york , and the ending , with its none-too-subtle homosexual overtones , is a little too overbearing for the lighthearted material that precedes it . 
in his gently satirical approach to popular culture and movie stardom , writer/director richard kwietniowski , adapting from the novel by gilbert adair , is 100% on- target . 
in the process , he not only creates a truly likable and memorable character in giles , but says a few things about the transforming power of love , even if it is unrequited . 
from start to finish , this is clearly hurt's movie ? he's in almost every frame . 
it's a role that the veteran actor must have relished , because he makes giles an unforgettable motion picture figure , and does so by means of dialogue delivery , body language , and ever-changing facial expressions . 
jason priestley , cashing in on his beverly hills 90210 image , is surprisingly effective as the shallow ronnie . 
he is charismatic , and it's not hard to understand why giles is attracted to ronnie . 
meanwhile , solid support is provided by the appealing fiona loewi and the always-reliable maury chaykin . 
love and death on long island is many things wrapped into one : a social commentary ( it tackles the thorny issue of film as pure art versus film as mindless entertainment ) , a buddy picture/love story ( ronnie and giles have one of the most interesting relationships found anywhere on a movie screen these days ) , and a "" fish out of water "" tale ( victorian relic giles forced into the modern world ) . 
yet , despite the many laughs love and death offers , it never takes cheap shots . 
it has a vibrant , beating heart ? and that makes the comedy all the more worthwhile . 
"
"1","for many people , procrastination isn't a problem to overcome , it's a high art . 
we'll do just about anything to put off a task . 
when the deadline for this column nears , it's the only time during the week dishes get washed and the bed made and laundry done and plants watered and . . . 
eventually , hopefully , sometimes , there's a breakthrough and we actually get down to work . 
amazingly it's almost always easier than we dreaded and after finishing , that sense of oppressive apprehension melts away . 
and then , the next time , we do it all again . 
english professor grady tripp ( michael douglas ) is a master . 
seven years ago , his first book was a hit . 
he's been working on his second -- a short 200-page piece -- since then . 
fearful that he can't live up to the first , he can't bring himself to finish it . 
no writer's block , he's nearing 3 , 000 pages with no end in sight . 
now he's having a particularly difficult day . 
the college's annual writers conference is bringing in accomplished novelists reminding tripp that other people are finishing _their_ books . 
during the first day , his wife has left him , his married girlfriend informs him she's pregnant and his agent is in town with a six-foot transvestite in tow . 
by the evening , our besieged writer is driving though the snow-covered streets of pittsburgh with a suicidal student beside him , a stolen jacket that marilyn monroe wore on her wedding day in the back seat and a murdered blind dog stuffed in the trunk . 
this could be a pivotal point in his mid-life crisis . 
and then there's the next morning . 
there's a lot to like about this movie . 
there are no huge explosions , shattering glass or computer-generated dinosaurs to distract from the very real human issues . 
grady is caught up in the curse of people who accomplish great things early in their career . 
in the world of "" what have you done for me lately ? "" , he knows his second book has to be better than his first . 
instead of finding out , he drifts , comfortable in the insular cocoon of academic peter panhood . 
he doesn't have much of a life and neither does his star pupil james leer ( tobey maguire ) . 
james may be suicidal and psychotic . 
certainly everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie . 
he makes up a past of working clash anguish because the truth of wealth and comfort just isn't interesting enough . 
as the weekend progresses , they are both forced to fully engage life . 
that's the question they must face : comfort or real experiences ? 
the film takes some interesting chances . 
non-traditional relationships are presented as matter-of-fact . 
extra-marital , gay , interracial , professor-student : here they aren't judged , merely choices . 
the actors are all first-rate . 
douglas triumphs , playing against type as he spends most of his time disheveled , unshaven and clad in a pink women's house robe . 
maguire's disengaged alienation works perfectly here . 
robert downey jr . as grady's agent livens up his scenes . 
director curtis hanson ( "" l . a . 
confidential "" ) makes a few missteps . 
the women are underused . 
frances mcdormand does a good job of her limited role of sara , grady's married lover but we never understand much of who she is . 
the chemistry between the two of them is non-existent which makes some of the ending unconvincing . 
katie holmes is a student with a major crush on the professor , but her character goes nowhere . 
we never even see grady's exiting wife . 
this is very much a guy's film . 
the varied relationships between the men are much more convincing than any of the others . 
grady's alternating mentoring and rejection of james is the centerpoint of the film , not him and sara . 
as the boomers age , expect to see more mid-life crisis films to catch the attention of that demographic . 
eventually it'll probably become cliche , but right now we've got a winner . 
i'll finish this in a second . 
right now i have to grab some paint . 
i noticed some trim in the other room that needs a little touch-up . 
 ( michael redman has written this column for so long that he's made mid-life crisis a career choice . ) 
"
"1","meet joe black ( reviewed on nov . 27/98 ) 
starring brad pitt , anthony hopkins , claire forlani 
in "" meet joe black "" , brad pitt plays death . 
that's all that really needs to be said , but nevertheless , i will provide the three of you that have seemingly been living in a cave with a plot description . 
death decides to take a holiday , what with all the rigors of soul-collecting and all , and forces anthony hopkins into showing him what it's like to be human . 
death assumes the body of brad pitt , and from there , much trouble ensues . 
for one thing , death-as-pitt falls in love with hopkins daughter , played by claire forlani . 
obviously this enrages hopkins , because really , what can death offer ? 
besides eternal damnation , of course . 
there is also a sub-plot about forlani's ex-boyfriend ( she dumps him for pitt ) trying to take over hopkins company . 
 "" meet joe black "" runs just under three hours . 
i've always thought that such obscene running times should be limited to historical epics . 
 "" meet joe black "" is neither historical nor is it an epic , though i get the feeling martin brest ( the director ) desperately wants it to be . 
every single scene in the movie goes on about 3-4 minutes too long . 
and the ending takes about 20 minutes longer than it really should . 
a severe editing job could have made this movie excellent , instead of just good , which is what it is . 
pitt , an actor i normally loathe , is actually quite engaging as death . 
i believed his performance , and i could see why forlani's character would fall in love with him . 
i have to agree with roger ebert , though , who found it hard to believe that an entity that's been around for all time wouldn't know what peanut butter was . 
that has nothing to do with pitt's performance , of course , but it is a little distracting . 
hopkins gives his usual excellent performance . 
he's able to portray the angst of a man who knows he has very little time left , without making him an obnoxious whiner . 
and in her first major studio role , claire forlani is surprisingly good . 
she has a sweet tenderness that allows the audience to instantly root for her . 
so , "" meet joe black "" is a good movie hampered by it's ridiculous running time . 
had the film been cut by an hour or so , i have no doubt that i would be calling it one of the best movies of the year in this review . 
"
"1","call it touched by a demon . 
gregory hoblit's fallen is a serial killer movie with an unusual , horrific twist . 
if marketed properly , this film could have crossover appeal for both those who appreciate supernatural tales like the prophesy and those who crave grim , dark thrillers like silence of the lambs and seven . 
in fact , there's even a little twin peaks to be found here , albeit with the lion's share of the weirdness distilled out . 
 ( remember bob ? ) 
the biggest failing of fallen is that , although it's consistently interesting , it's not always as edgy and suspenseful as one might hope . 
a serial killer ( elias koteas ) has been on the loose in philadephia , but detective john hobbes ( denzel washington ) , the noblest man on the police force , has brought him to justice . 
now , during his last hours on death row awaiting his inevitable date with the gas chamber , the mass murderer cryptically tells hobbes , "" what goes around really goes around . "" 
shortly thereafter , he begins to sing "" time is on my side "" as he's taken on his last walk . 
minutes later , the state of pennsylvania has carried out the execution and edgar reese is dead . 
but for hobbes , the nightmare is just beginning , because reese wasn't a normal psychopath ? he was the host body for a mythical dark angel named azazel . 
and , with reese's death , azazel is free to hop from body to body , murdering and wreaking havoc at will . 
only hobbes and a pretty , female theology teacher ( embeth davidtz ) have an inkling of what they're up against . 
the rest of the cops , including hobbes' partner , jonesy ( john goodman ) ; lou ( james gandolfini ) , a newcomer to the department ; and lieutenant stanton ( donald sutherland ) , don't have a clue , and , as a result , they are in mortal danger . 
as depicted by hoblit ( primal fear ) and cinematographer newton thomas sigel , philadelphia is a dark , dreary place ? a gothic city rather than a modern one . 
no skyscrapers or other monoliths of current architecture or technology are shown . 
the most famous landmark to appear isn't the liberty bell or independence hall ; it's geno's steaks . 
shadows and night scenes abound . 
the days are cloudy and unpromising . 
this is the kind of setting where it's easy to believe that fallen angels walk among men . 
fallen's plot is brimming with potential , not all of which is realized . 
somehow , i would have expected a more frightening tale to emerge from something with this kind of premise . 
but the level of terror , like that of gore , is kept in check . 
nevertheless , there are several creepily effective scenes as the spirit of azazel moves from body to body when people bump against each other on crowded city sidewalks . 
the film also boasts a chase sequence of a kind that can best be described as unusual . 
of the several dozen actors to play azazel , the best is by far elias koteas ( exotica , crash ) , who , despite only being on screen for about ten minutes , gives a fantastically charged performance . 
john goodman also seems to be enjoying himself , although his role for most of the film is relegated to that of a burly sidekick . 
sadly , however , these two are the only ones who excel . 
everyone else , including denzel washington , is boring . 
washington's flat performance is the most disappointing surprise of the film . 
it's not that he's bad per se , but he's not very interesting . 
there's no real sense of vulnerability or desperation in the way he portrays his character , and that keeps us distanced , however slightly , from hobbes . 
as circumstances become progressively more dire for the cop , and as his life-or-death chess game with azazel approaches the point of checkmate , i expected to be more on the edge of my seat than i was . 
washington's subdued approach is part of the reason for this ; i never felt a sense of urgency . 
however , at least washington was believable , which is more than can be said for embeth davidtz ( schindler's list ) and donald sutherland . 
to be fair , the flaws in their characters aren't all acting-related ; neither stanton nor gretta milano are well-written . 
that said , however , there's nothing inspired about either davidtz's or sutherland's work . 
both appear to be sleepwalking their way through the parts , as if they know that their contribution to the film is one of advancing the plot rather than developing a multi-dimensional individual . 
narratively , fallen has a few glaring weaknesses . 
although the plot proceeds with a convoluted , game-like structure , it uses a denzel washington-supplied voiceover to overexplain matters . 
at times , this is actually helpful , and it has a use beyond the obvious , but there are occasions when ponderous lines like "" i like the night ? sometimes you come face to face with yourself "" become a little hard to swallow . 
in addition , fallen is saddled with the same kind of disgustingly bland , generic theology embraced by numerous movies and tv shows like touched by an angel . 
however , despite the negatives , i'm still recommending fallen on the strength of its complex plot and especially its ending , which i loved . 
the final scenes are startling , audacious , and unexpected . 
it's not often that a plot development takes me by surprise the way this one did . 
at a time when most movies fall apart in the last ten minutes , fallen manages to buck the trend and redeem itself . 
this is not a great motion picture , but , considering how bad most january releases are , it's a reasonably entertaining way to spend two hours . 
and , whatever you do , don't walk out on the film before the end credits have begun to roll . 
"
"1","james l . brooks , one of the developers of the simpsons and director of broadcast news , returns to the big screen with this entertaining , if slightly flawed comedy . 
nicholson plays melvin udall , probably the most horrible person ever on the screen . 
he's racist , homophobic , and never has a good word to say to anyone . 
so , nobody talks to him , except waitress carol conelly ( t . v 
sitcom star hunt , who was last seen in twister , 1996 ) . 
naturally , udall , conelly and gay neighbor simon bishop ( kinnear ) who nicholson hates , all hit it off in the end . 
like good will hunting ( 1997 ) and titanic ( 1997 ) , even though the outcome is completely obvious , as good as it gets is an enjoyable , funny and warm comedy . 
nicholson is hilarious as melvin , churning out insults with superb relish . 
only nicholson could get away with the lines that melvin delivers . 
hunt is also good as waitress carol , and easily rises to the challenge of nicholson . 
there's also ( thankfully ) a bit of chemistry between them . 
kinnear , as the gay neighbor , seems to have a slightly underwritten role , he's more of a plot convience than a character . 
although his performance is good , his character just seems to exist to help melvin and carol come together . 
in fact , the scene stealer is simon's dog , who is funnier than nicholson . 
but then again , pets are always cute on screen . 
providing solid support is cuba gooding , jnr ( jerry maguire , 1996 ) and yeardly smith ( who is the voice of lisa simpsons in the simpsons ) although gooding isn't as good as is character in maguire , he is still fun . 
he overacts a little , but not so much as to be annoying . 
smith is also good , although she has a fairly small role . 
even director lawrence kasdan ( body heat , 1981 ) makes an appearance as a doctor . 
but this is primarily nicholsons film , and every scene he's in , he's steals it . 
he's character is so hateful , though , it's amazing that anyone talks to him at all , especially carol . 
and this is the films main problem . 
it's totally unbelievable that carol would ever consider liking melvin . 
she doesn't fall in love with him naturally , the film forces her to fall in love with him . 
also , melvins character seems to go too nice , too quickly . 
i would doubt anyone with a character like melvins would be able to turn back to a nice , loving person . 
it would take a helluva long time , much longer than this film would like to make out . 
brooks direction is good , though , if a bit average , but he usually manages to get an emotion out of the audience . 
he handles the comedy scenes better than the sentimental ones ( he tends to pile on to much schmaltz ) but generally he's good . 
there's also a nice soundtrack by veteran composer hans zimmer . 
but , generally , as good as it gets achieves what it sets out to do , which is to make the audience feel good by the end of the movie . 
the movie is a bit overlong , but nicholson is such good fun that the running time passes by pretty quickly . 
overall , as good as it gets is a fun movie , even though it may be unbelivable , and certainly worth seeing ( if just for jack nicholsons performance . ) 
not quite as good as it gets ( pardon the bad joke ) , but still good fun . 
"
"1","after a stylistic detour with mrs . 
parker and the vicious circle ( which , despite its uncomfortable tone , was close to being a conventional movie ) , director alan rudolph has returned to his unique brand of film making with afterglow , a romantic black comedy about love , betrayal , and self-absorption . 
while these may not be the most unusual themes to fashion into a motion picture , rudolph's atypical approach to the characters and their situations makes for an intriguing , if not always pleasant , movie . 
it is said that rudolph is a polarizing director ? meaning that most viewers either love his work or hate it . 
until mrs . 
parker , i had not been overly impressed by his movies . 
i found equinox , his last pre- mrs . 
parker effort , to be irritating and frustrating . 
i was somewhat surprised , therefore , to discover that i liked afterglow . 
there are several reasons for this , but the paramount one is that rudolph seems to have muted some of the most strident , mannered aspects of his approach . 
the characters here are more like real people with genuine problems , the story is absorbing , and the acting is top-notch . 
in short , rudolph has created a world that it's worth spending two hours in . 
afterglow introduces us to two unhappily married couples . 
jeffrey byron ( jonny lee miller ) is a cold , seemingly-heartless businessman who is sexually indifferent to his young wife , marianne ( lara flynn boyle ) . 
for her part , marianne is so obsessed with having a baby that she never attempts to interact with her husband on a human level . 
all she's interested in is seducing him during those few days when she's ovulating . 
after he refuses to make love , she decides to find someone else to play the role of sperm donor . 
the other couple , lucky ( nick nolte ) and phyllis mann ( julie christie ) , are an older pair , but they're no more content than jeffrey and marianne . 
a mysterious fracture in their past relationship has driven them apart . 
they remain married as a matter of convenience , but , since phyllis won't allow lucky to touch her , they have an unspoken agreement whereby he can fool around as much as he wants provided that no lasting bond is established as a result of these affairs . 
the landscape of emotional pain between them is palpable . 
the four characters begin interacting when marianne hires lucky as a handyman to fix up the inside of the apartment she shares with jeffrey . 
the two of them are immediately attracted to one another , and it doesn't take long before they're lounging together , naked , in her pool . 
meanwhile , jeffrey , who is captivated by older women , runs into phyllis in a hotel bar , is smitten , and invites her to accompany him on a weekend retreat to the mountains . 
the romantic couplings of the characters are interesting in that they illustrate the multiple faces of love . 
sex means something different to everyone ? to jeffrey , it's an unpleasant chore , a loss of control ; to marianne , it's a means to a maternal end ; to lucky , it's an enjoyable distraction that blocks out his marital troubles ; and to phyllis , it's a method of establishing or denying emotional closeness . 
ultimately , none of these characters appears to love anyone else as much as they love themselves . 
the greatest strength of the film lies not in the script , but in the performances . 
jonny lee miller is perfect as the selfish , callous , suit-and-tie businessman . 
those who recall him as sickboy in trainspotting will find that he is almost unrecognizable here as the image of conformity . 
lara flynn boyle , who wasn't impressive in rudolph's equinox , is greatly improved , making marianne a jumble of sexiness and vulnerability . 
nick nolte is delightful as the uninhibited lucky , and he manages to deliver some of rudolph's most pregnant lines with practiced ease . 
the clear standout , however , is julie christie , who is nothing short of delicious as the world-weary phyllis . 
her often wry , occasionally cutting asides are the source of much of the film's humor , and there's hardly ever a moment when she doesn't steal the spotlight from her co-stars . 
i don't know if afterglow is the film to convert rudolph- detractors , but it seems that this movie is a little more accessible than some of the director's earlier productions . 
enough of his trademark style remains , however , to reassure his supporters . 
afterglow is basically a four-pronged character study . 
the plot is not especially compelling , but the character interaction is , and that's the real reason to see this motion picture . 
rudolph has painted an able picture of the non-romantic side of love -- the one that has more to do with tolerance and familiarity than with affection and attraction . 
"
"1"," "" the fugitive "" is probably one of the greatest thrillers ever made . 
it takes realistic , believable characters and tells an exciting story that's totally believable throughout . 
this isn't an over-the-top action flick for the sake of action , this is an intelligent adventure story with a real sense of mystery to it and it works perfectly . 
harrison ford stars as dr . richard kimble , a man who is wrongly accused and convicted of murdering his wife . 
the entire premise of the story revolves around this murder , but is not told in a straightforward manner . 
we constantly see flashbacks to the murder from kimble's perspective . 
hints are dropped from various times of the night kimble's wife , helen ( sela ward ) was murdered . 
we don't get to see who the killer is until much further into the story . 
in fact , we might even have a little doubt about kimble's innocence ourselves . 
the film doesn't spend much time on the details of kimble's trial and conviction as it is not the point of the story . 
one of the greatest action scenes ensues as we get a botched escape attempt by his fellow inmates which leads to a fantastic train wreck . 
but it does not at all seem gratuitous or formulated , it is actually suspenseful to watch . 
this movie is so incredible because it's able to take elements like these and make them wholly original and believable . 
tommy lee jones almost steals the show as deputy sam gerard , a u . s . marshall who is an expert in hunting fugitives . 
from the moment he appears we know a huge game of cat and mouse is about to occur . 
kimble and gerard are equally matched as there is no way to tell how one is going to outsmart the other . 
most of the film deals with richard's complex investigation as he tries to find the one-armed man who killed his wife . 
ford does not have a lot of lines here , so it is stuart and twohy's script and davis's outstanding direction that make the film as great as it is . 
just watching richard use his keen intelligence and wits , disguising himself , and doing his own detective work is very interesting . 
we know just as little as he does as to why his wife was killed , so as he learns more so do we . 
meanwhile gerard and his staff are using all their skills to hunt him down . 
at one point they run into each other and a great chase ensues , but richard is just too smart for them . 
he leaves clues for gerard to show his innocence and to help him solve the mystery . 
one of the greatest charms to the film is its sense of humor . 
there is a great sense of comradeship between gerard and his two closest deputies cosmo renfo ( pantoliano ) and biggs ( roebuck ) . 
they are trying to catch what they believe to be a dangerous murderer , yet they constantly start up small talk with each other , making funny wisecracks and one-liners , but not in any kind of distracting manner . 
the final act concludes with another terrific chase . 
richard figures out who the killer is and confronts him , and although we get a typical fight scene , the case is far from solved . 
the man who ordered the murder has been under our nose all along , and we don't realize this until the end when both richard and gerard put the pieces together . 
maybe the finally scene is a bit much , but it still has a believable atmosphere to it . 
we're so relieved when justice is served . 
it's not the plot is that makes "" the fugitive "" great , it's all the motions the characters go through to make for an intriguing story . 
watching a seemingly average man go through as much as this is what makes the movie so adventurous . 
if only hollywood could produce more movies like this . 
 ( 10/31/96 ) ( 1/29/97 ) ( 6/13/97 ) [see also : "" nick of time "" ] 
"
"1","i think that any competent member of the human race who's ever seen a movie--any movie--could probably predict just about every turn in the wedding singer . 
even though i try very hard to not predict films as i'm watching them ( especially not romantic comedies ) , the plot of this particular film just advanced before me seconds , and sometimes minutes , before i actually saw it happen on screen . 
but i don't care . 
not even a little . 
my reasons for this are simple : 1 ) adam sandler is great . 
2 ) drew barrymore is great . 
3 ) the movie is so funny . 
there are parts that left me gasping for air because i was laughing so hard . 
i haven't laughed this hard in a movie since austin powers . 
sandler plays robby hart , a wedding singer who once had dreams of being in a rock band and writing his own music . 
in the opening scenes , he seems like a happy-go-lucky wedding singer , at least partially enjoying his profession and doing a rather good job of talking down a really drunk individual ( steve buscemi ) who decides that his brother's wedding is a good place to tell the whole world that his life , up to that point , was utter pointlessness . 
a week later , at his own wedding , he is left standing at the altar by his ex-fianc ? e , linda ( angela featherstone ) . 
with his life in complete disarray , he meets julia ( barrymore ) , a waitress . 
she is engaged to glenn ( matthew glave ) , and is to marry him in about three months . 
julia and robby become good friends when she enlists him to help with the wedding plans . 
soon ( and predictably ) it becomes pretty clear that glenn is a jerk , and that robby and julia really love each other . 
oh sure , it's trite . 
and if anyone making this film expected us to , like , feel suspense or something while watching the wedding singer , then they truly underestimated their audience . 
what makes the story bearable , aside from the terrific costumes and 80s music , are the performances . 
barrymore is simply adorable here ( i've never seen her look so close to the way she did in et ) . 
not only is she pleasant to look at , but her acting job here really is a good one--and it doesn't hurt that the character is likable and adequately well-written . 
and the jerk , played in full-force by graves , is just as despicable as any villain in any romantic comedy i've ever seen . 
naturally , the true star here is sandler . 
i think the guy is flat-out hilarious . 
he can say something that just isn't funny , and his delivery makes me laugh . 
his comedic performance here equals that of happy gilmore , but in this film he goes much further and proves to me that he can , indeed , hold his own as a leading man in a romantic comedy . 
whereas his roles in his previous films kind of had sandler playing sandler , the wedding singer gives him a character that , for the first time , he actually has to fit into . 
as far as i'm concerned he succeeded , and this film is testimony that he does , in fact , have some range in his talents . 
and the movie is just so funny . 
perhaps the best moment is when he sings a song for julia that he claims is a little uneven because he began writing it while in a good mood and finished it after his fianc ? e abandoned him . 
this is the part that literally had me groping for a breath of air . 
and while the film , like all romantic comedies , takes a hiatus from laughs towards the end because the plot has to finish up , there are more than enough truly hilarious moments in the first hour that make up for any slumps in progress during the second half . 
my formal complaints for the wedding singer aren't very important . 
the film is predicable , but who cares ? 
the characters are extremely likable , the movie is ridiculously funny , and the experience is simply enjoyable . 
in addition to this , i can't imagine anyone seeing the preview and not wanting to see the film . 
in that order , i conclude that it is pointless for me to even have written this review . 
i just want everyone to know that i laughed . 
a lot . 
"
"1","based on the boris karloff's classic by the same name , the mummy starts off with the high-priest of osiris , imhotep , who murders the pharoah for his mistress and is punished by being mummified in the most horrifying way possible -- bandaged up , having his tongue removed , and being covered in flesh-eating scarab beetles , then entombed . . . all while still alive . 
recap a few thousand years later , where a soldier named rick ( played by brandan fraser ) aids a young historian named evelyn ( played by rachel wiesz ) and her brother , jonathan ( played by john hannah ) in finding the book of amon ra , in the process inadvertently freeing the mummy . 
problem is that the mummy wants to revive his mistress , using evelyn as a sacrifice . . . 
walking in with relatively low expectations , i thought this movie was actually pretty good . 
the visuals and cgi are astounding , and obviously not cheaply done at all . 
they pack a ton of detail into the images , especially during scenes involving mummies rendered completely by cgi . 
the computer special effects makes for some brilliant scenes , such as unnerving moments involving flesh-eating scarab beetles and moments where the mummy goes after the people who freed him ( after all , those who took his artifacts are cursed ) . 
unfortunately , the film attempts to be way too much in such a short span of time , becoming a tug of war for control between genres . 
on one hand , it is a fast paced action film . 
on the other , it's a frightening horror film . 
and on the side , it's a hilarious comedy . 
ideally , for it to be successful , the film would have to focus on one the more action oriented aspect , with one character serving as the comic relief ( that would be johnson ) . 
the problem with this film is that it has at least three characters serving as comic relief , with rick occasionally delivering his witty one-liner . 
if they were trying to make a horror-action-comedy , it would have helped if it were established early on in the film , but unfortunately , with the backstory of imhotep's entombment , that would be impossible . 
and then there's the slapstick fight scene between a sword-wielding rick and an army of mummies . 
while really well done , it had the feel of slapstick comedy . 
replace the sword with a chainsaw and you'd effectively have ash fighting zombies in army of darkness . 
while entertaining and funny , it feels really out of place . 
but at least it's a break from the naive heroes that brendan fraser has been playing a lot of . 
on the whole , the movie is pure popcorn fare from beginning to end , entertaining the audience . 
but i must end my review with a plea to movie theatre owners . . . turn 
the sound down ! 
while a lot of theatres have good sound systems , my ears were almost ringing as i walked out of the theatre ( the sound is particularly irritating and will make you crap your pants if you're not careful ) . 
when they were showing the trailer for the upcoming schwarzenegger film , "" end of days "" , it was so loud i couldn't make anything out . 
"
"1","on re-watching italian writer/director dario argento's much lauded murder mystery tenebrae , i was struck more than anything else by how many sins he commits as a storyteller and manages to get away with . 
in emphasising style over matters of plot argento is somewhat notorious in cult film circles , but some aficionados still praise tenebrae as the greatest of his "" giallo "" murder mysteries . 
while it's certainly not perfect , repeated viewings reveal it to be nonetheless a densely plotted and terrifically stylish thriller . 
the story follows a promotional visit to rome by famous american mystery novelist peter neal ( anthony franciosa ) where he discovers that a serial killer is on the loose inspired by his latest book "" tenebrae "" . 
with the police on his back for leads , he decides to take a personal interest in the case and he soon becomes drawn into a mystery where all is not as it seems . 
the film benefits enormously from a fine central performance by franciosa . 
he brings grace , charm and a deceptive benigness to his character which provides an interesting foil to both the violence of the books he writes and the unfolding real-life horror around him . 
the film is awash with a fascinating psychosexual tension . 
argento peels back the facade of showbiz and jetset lifestyles to reveal an amoral , ambivalent , shadowy world where desire in all its forms has become a dangerous business . 
tenebrae is perhaps the most multi-layered of argento's scripts to date and there is much bubbling underneath the surface here . 
it may take at least two or three viewings to appreciate all the psychological themes at play . 
in that respect it strongly recalls his previous giallo deep red/profondo rosso ( the full-length italian language version ) and fans will enjoy spotting the recurring themes . 
needless to say for argento fans , there is no denying the director's brilliance as a stylist . 
many of the action and murder sequences are directed with his characteristic finesse and feature plenty of intriguing camerawork . 
they are all the more impressive for the fact that in this film argento creates mood by filling his scenes with light , rather than the dark shadows and deep rich colours of earlier works like deep red and suspiria . 
instead , tenebrae's set design and lighting paints a sleek , clinical , chilly vision of a vaguely futuristic urban world . 
and the soundtrack's mix of electronic atmospheres and gothic rock by frequent argento collaborators goblin is the perfect accompaniment . 
so tenebrae has much to recommend it , no question . 
still , constantly nagging at the back of this viewers mind is several lumps in the narrative . 
some critics argue that logic doesn't matter in argento films , but damnit , it matters in all films to the point where viewers don't deserve to feel cheated . 
by the way , if you don't want to know the solution to the mystery then skip the next three paragraphs . 
about an hour into tenebrae the story takes an unexpected twist which , properly handled , could have proved ingenious . 
we witness the murder of the serial killer himself by a man who , we later discover , is none other than the author peter neal . 
he is insane , apparently . 
the murders then continue for the remainder of the film as neal decides it's time to settle some personal business involving his neurotic wife . 
he is finally revealed to us as this "" second killer "" in the film's bloody climax . 
but argento muffs the twist , both technically and narratively . 
you see , we are supposed to be tricked into thinking that during this scene peter neal is actually an innocent witness who was crouching in the bushes nearby the whole time and spying on the killer's house . 
but thanks to poor editing , its had to believe neal could have murdered the killer anyway . 
bad cutting puts the timing way out . 
in other words , he's almost in two places at once . 
during this crucial scene we are also thrown a ridiculous red herring . 
by the film's end you realise that for the sake of an alibi neal must have self-inflicted a nasty injury in this earlier scene to make it look like he was attacked by a fleeing assailant . 
the injury ? 
he banged himself on the head with a bloody great rock ! 
thus , the revelation of the "" hero "" as a killer ( and anti-hero ) in the final scenes may still prove shocking , but its all somewhat implausible by the time the end credits have rolled . 
helpfully , in the end we do learn that the bizarre flashbacks of personal humiliation and murder that have permeated the film belonged to neal all along . 
but there too is a problem , as the explanations offered for his motivations are psychologically fuzzy to say the least . 
the story owes us a better understanding of franciosa's mind , his concealed madness and his sudden murderous rampage . 
tenebrae is also marred by annoying little inconsistencies . 
for instance , a teenage boy and girl leave a hotel room and minutes later we see the girl riding off on the back of a motorbike . 
we would assume the rider is the same boy , but it turns out to be some male character we aren't even introduced too ! 
that's careless filmmaking , pure and simple . 
why , you may ask , do i go on about the story's flaws ? 
because when it comes to visuals and set pieces , argento is one of the most exciting filmmakers in the world . 
take one of the extended scenes in tenebrae . 
an upset girl wandering the streets at night needlessly taunts a guard dog to the point where - almost unbelievably - it jumps a high fence and chases her across town . 
finally , as she desperately seeks escape from this crazed canine , she accidentally stumbles on the serial killer's lair . 
it's an absolutely masterful sequence , tense and exciting , and communicating a wealth of information through visuals alone . 
and that's exactly the kind of thing that makes the flaws so frustrating . 
too often , it seems , argento's films as a whole are less than the sum of their impressive parts . 
mind you , if you love murder mysteries then tenebrae is still worth a look . 
and if you're a fan of argento's unique style of giallo thriller then it's essential . 
see the uncut widescreen version if you can and drink in some of the wonderful cinematography by luciano tovoli . 
it's a stylish , great-looking and quirky film despite the problem narrative . 
a shame , because it doesn't have to be that way . 
take argento's more recent stendhal syndrome ( 1992 ) , where with the aid of co-writer franco ferrini he fashioned a solid storyline without sacrificing any of his surreal weirdness or visual panache . 
proof that he can do it , if he tries . . . 
"
"1","as any sociologist will attest , your childhood and the types of parents that you have will heavily influence your happiness as an adult . 
parents that are supportive and environments that are nurturing will yield children who will embrace the values and norms that can allow them to live healthy and productive lives . 
but if your upbringing is marred with violence , hate and dysfunctionality , then your journey towards a happy adulthood will be saddled with psychological obstacles almost too great to overcome . 
`affliction' explores how a man never truly escapes the grip of an unforgivingly nightmarish childhood . 
the man in question is wade whitehouse ( nick nolte ) . 
here is a man who is like any other citizen on the surface . 
he is a productive member of the community and goes about his daily routine much like you and me . 
but as you scratch beneath the surface , something scary and evil begins to rear its ugly head . 
we see that he is a mean-tempered person . 
he has a hard time taking control of his emotions , which usually gets the better of him . 
he is quick to apologize for his actions and wants to be a gentle person , but something is sparking a tendency towards violence . 
he also has tremendous problems with relationships . 
he is divorced and his only connection to love is his daughter . 
but his bearish persona and stature alienates her . 
he is visibly shaken by her rejection even though she says that she loves him . 
his demeanor also puts his relationship with a local townsgirl ( sissy spacek ) at risk . 
she tries to remain true to him and supportive , but for women unlucky enough to attach themselves to this kind of person , relationships will ultimately end like sentences ending with an exclamation point . 
finally , he is spiteful and vindictive . 
as a rejected father , he initiates a custody battle that seems hopeless . 
as the town's only police officer , he issues a speeding ticket to a man whose father has just died . 
we can see that this is a man that is both afflicted and living with pain . 
he is a prisoner and a slave to it . 
he is moving towards a level of madness and insanity that defies comprehension . 
what kind of force can move a man to the edge of his emotions and beyond the reach of people who genuinely care for him ? 
we learn that the answer is his father ( james coburn ) . 
this is the kind of father that every son would be ashamed to have and that any woman would be afraid to meet . 
he is an overbearingly misogynistic and frequent drunk who rules with an iron fist . 
we see his tyrannical behavior through flashbacks . 
to heighten the father's churlishness , the flashbacks are shown as home video footage taken by a very frightened person . 
very effective . 
today , wade's dad is quite elderly , but still manages to instill fear into a grown man . 
the influence that the father possesses is inescapable , and its unsavory effect clamps down hard on the tortured wade . 
the result is every son's nightmare ? becoming like the father that one has always dreaded to be . 
this is a terrifically presented piece of psychological drama , and nolte turns in a strong performance as a man whose pain seems to become a detriment as well as a necessity . 
he's a hulking person who is still reduced to whimpers when in the presence of his father . 
coburn displays heft as the bitter dad . 
but , it's most certainly not saturday-night-friendly fare . 
there's nothing light or fluffy about this film . 
that may turn many moviegoers away . 
but it's certainly worth noting that this is a well-acted drama showcasing nolte's and coburn's raw acting talents . 
"
"1","is evil dead ii a bad movie ? 
it's full of terrible acting , pointless violence , and plot holes yet it remains a cult classic nearly fifteen years after its release . 
explaining why this movie stands out from others with similar plots ( including the original evil dead ) is extremely difficult . 
`well what's it about ? ' 
`five people stranded in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere struggling to survive vicious attacks from a variety of ugly , hairy , wart covered monsters . ' 
`come on i saw a movie just like that on monster vision last week . 
why should i see it again ? ' 
`no evil dead ii is different , it's funny . ' 
`it's funny to see people die ? 
are you sick or something ? ' 
maybe i am and maybe director sam raimi is as well to create such an enigma of a movie . 
his unique execution is as sarcastic as subtle , as disturbing as it is hilarious . 
an example of raimi's odd approach : a monster ( formerly protagonist ash's girlfriend of all people ) is cut in half by a chainsaw and a tidal wave of blood comes from the open wound . 
sure it's over-the-top , but it is so over-the-top that it is laugh out loud funny ; just try watching ash with a straight face as he unexpectedly is showered with ten gallons of blood , staining his face and knocking him back a few feet . 
the whole movie is like this , watch ash get beat up , watch ash defeat the monster , watch ash get beat up again by another even zanier monster . 
the more repetitive and unrealistic the movie gets , the more amusing it becomes . 
no matter how sick it may sound , it is funny to watch bruce ampbell's ash get his butt kicked every five minutes . 
and raimi takes advantage , he has ash tormented by the head of his girlfriend , by the body of an old lady , even by his own right hand . 
like the less superior idle hands , we watch ash uncontrollably hit himself over and over again until he is forced to cut off his own body part . 
but it doesn't end , ash now has to fight his severed hand which now moves with the same celerity as thing from the addams family . 
all of these events , thrown at you from minute one with roller coaster- like camera movements , at first become shocking , then inexplicably funny . 
raimi expects the audience to laugh and as the film progresses , he seems to be enjoying himself even more by borrowing the classic mirror scene from the marx brothers' duck soup , then bringing more characters into the picture to comically kill them off . 
with a running time of less than an hour and a half , raimi gets away with the impossible , making a horror film with more gore than plot and intentionally more laughs than scares . 
ending evil dead ii with an opening for the third film in the series , raimi obviously had a lot of fun making this movie and couldn't wait to make it's sequel . 
"
"1","it's rather strange too have two computer animated talking ant movies come out in a single year , but that is what disney and pixar animation ; s latest film represents . 
while a bugs life isn't nearly as deep as it's predecessor , dreamwork's antz , it is just as funny . 
a bug's life centers , appropriately , around the life of an ant , named flik . 
flik , cutely voiced by newsradio's david foley , hates sticking too tradition and attempts too find new ways of harvesting food and other task . 
when one of his inventions causes the offering too be completely lost , the leaders of the colony send him out on a mission too get him out of the way . 
the offering is food that a vile group of grasshoppers force the ants too harvest for them . 
the leader of the grasshoppers is hopper , who is fiendishly voiced by oscar winner kevin spacey . 
when the offering is lost hopper is very upset and he vows to return shortly too retrieve double the amount of food . 
when the leaders of the ant colony send flik out on his mission , they never dream he will be successful , they just hope they can get him out of the way so they can harvest the extra food . 
flik's mission is too hire some warrior bugs too fight off the grasshoppers when they return . 
instead flik accidentally hires circus performing bugs , who he mistakenly assumes are warriors . 
when he returns with the `warriors' , the town is ecstatic until they find out the truth about their heroes . 
a bug's life has animation that is simply stunning . 
the sheer uniqueness of the day to day bug life is very imaginative . 
together with the great voice acting , this film is the perfect holiday family film . 
its main weakness is that it couldn't beat antz to the theaters , making it seem like stale material . 
"
"1","not since oliver stone's natural born killers has there been a movie this incendiary , and not since david cronenberg has a so-called mainstream director been this willing to repeatedly tiptoe the fine line between pointed social commentary and outright social irresponsibility . 
while fincher's films have never suffered from a lack of shock value ( his major character killings in both alien 3 and seven are fine examples ) , fight club marks the distillation of his pitch-black comedic sensibility ( see 1997's the game ) into something like a definitive statement . 
jack ( norton , acting as both narrator and protagonist ) is your typical cubicle clone , whose disillusionment is amplified by a seemingly incurable insomnia . 
on the offhand advice of a doctor , he sits in on group-therapy sessions for everything from blood parasites to testicular cancer . 
here he meets bob ( marvin lee aday , aka meat loaf ) , a cancer-emasculated eunuch with profound gynecomastia . 
strangely , the release he finds while sobbing on bob's breasts allows him to sleep at night , at least until a fellow group-therapy "" tourist "" named marla singer ( carter ) comes along to ruin things for him , forcing a grudging compromise that recalls monty python in its dark hilarity . 
later , he meets tyler durden ( pitt ) , a soap salesman with a decidedly subversive outlook on life . 
one night , after his ikea- furnished condo explodes ( don't ask-- you'll just have to see the movie , awright ? ) , he is goaded by tyler into a fight , and damned if it doesn't feel good . 
it is pure , raw existence , a brief moment of clarity and purpose that makes his dreary workaday life pale in comparison . 
he moves into tyler's squalid abandoned mansion , and they form the titular organization , an underground therapy group where men bond with bare-knuckle savagery and very few rules , the first two of which are "" don't talk about fight club . "" 
armed with charisma and an attractive anti-corporate philosophy , tyler assumes leadership of the burgeoning membership of white-collar slaves and dead-end mcemployees . 
resentment creeps into jack's heart , made worse by the fact that tyler is also regularly and noisily boffing the hated marla . 
funded by a frivolous lawsuit , tyler begins molding his devotees into an army dedicated to mischief and mayhem . 
their initially juvenile pranks ( like pissing in food and putting spike belts on roads ) quickly evolve into something more like sedition , and jack fears that things have gone sour . 
it is after this point , when you are plenty uncomfortable and wondering just how far fincher will go to say something original , that the film uncorks a disappointing plot twist . 
it is so contrived-- and so conventional compared to what precedes it-- that everything which follows ( including the ending ) becomes far less interesting . 
it's a major ( though not fatal ) flaw , and for a director as notoriously unpredictable as fincher , it feels like a cop-out . 
fight club is going to be misconstrued by a great many people . 
in the early going , it has a downright dangerous feel ; it seems to be saying that violence and civil disobedience are good for the soul , and this is undoubtedly the message that a few moronic punks are going to take from it . 
i'll be mightily surprised if imitation fight clubs don't spring up here and there , and i'll be even more amazed if fincher isn't vilified for it by the same humorless witch-hunters that are currently after oliver stone . 
they needn't bother , because fight club is less a message movie than fincher's elaborate attempt at a joke . 
tyler durden , for all his dionysian allure , is really nothing more than the logical ( and far less hypocritical ) extrapolation of all those self-help gurus who constantly show up on oprah to preach their me-first gospel of self-actualization . 
in this context , the joke works , but like the latest columbine joke , some people will get it and enjoy a good laugh , and others won't . 
hopefully , though , their silly moral outrage won't spoil the joke for the rest of us . 
"
"1","plot : a bunch of bad guys dressed up as elvis impersonators rob a vegas casino during a presley convention . 
the boys eventually get together to split the money , but as plans change , double-crosses occur , dealing and wheeling goes down and the crew set up for the road . 
who's on the up and up , who's the real bad guy and who's gonna get to bang courteney cox are just a few of the questions which will be answered by the rest of this movie . 
critique : the funnest movie that i've seen so far this year ! 
it's got style , it's got tough guys talkin' shite and it's got plenty of bullets to go around . 
a definite hunk-a-hunk-a burnin' adventure ! 
a guy's guy movie through and through , and one that'll set your jollies to high if you dig on the rough stuff . 
it's not very original , it goes on for a little too long , but costner and russell make it happen , as two shite-kickin' elvis lovers , who don't stop till they , more or less , drop . 
this movie's got some pretty intensive shoot-out scenes , one of the coolest robbery scenarios that i've ever witnessed , featuring several elvises with guns a blazin' and the king's music playing in the background , and a decent helping of double-crosses , sharp dialogue and funny moments . 
in fact , even though the cast is filled with many name actors ( b-actors as they might be for the most part ) , most of them do their bit and succeed well in passing the torch onto the next victim . 
but the true glue that holds this film together , other than the spirit of elvis himself , is costner and russell , who play their badass characters to the t . sure , russell's been down this road before , but costner surprised me with his nastiness . 
i guess he's pissed at all the box-office bombs that he's been in of late , but he sure played a great unstable elvis impersonating robber here . 
in the end , the bottom line with this movie is having fun , kickin' ass and making sure there's enough bubblegum around to chew afterwards . 
and smoke 'em if you got 'em , folks ! 
there is also this one really great show-down scene between costner and a cop , that'll have you crackin' up and lovin' it all at the same time . 
the violent scenes in this movie are violent and the entire film is wrapped in a soundtrack that'll kick your arse from this end of the theatre to the next . 
it should actually come to no surprise to anyone that the director of this movie comes from a music video background , with plenty , and i mean plenty , of camera tricks , cuts and edits , but for this kind of flick , it actually works . 
the film is not perfect though , it starts off with a pretty big bang , but then pulls a way of the gun on us , and slows the pace down somewhat in the middle , while characters intermingle and disperse . 
i was personally kept in the game despite some soft spots , and enjoyed the overall ride for what it was as well . 
and did i mention that courteney cox looked mega-hot in the movie ? 
no . . . okay , 
well i just did ! 
i coulda done without her whole "" romance "" angle , but to be honest , it doesn't take up much of the film , which is generally covered in blood , explosions , guts and elvis nods . 
try to see how many "" inside "" connections to the king you can guess . 
of course , it's no secret that i am quite a big elvis fan myself so please take this whole review with that grain of salt in mind . 
i also like these types of "" guy "" movies a lot , and even though the film doesn't bring much originality to the table , it does offer a pretty coherent story , some nice twists and turns , humor and a big ol' helping of whoop-ass coming straight from costner and russell's respective boots . 
probably not a film for everyone , but definitely for those who enjoy the guns , the charismatic bad guys and a fun , if entirely disposable , adventure . 
now see how many elvis songs i've used to pun my way through this phony review below . 
the elvis songs also recommend this movie ! 
so whether you're lonesome tonight or any other night , remember to pack the teddy bear with bullets , leave your little sister at home , bring your bossa nova baby and rock out of that jailhouse , cause this movie ain't one to return to the sender . 
i really beg of you , whether you're stuck in the ghetto or crying in the chapel , to slap this cinematic ring around your neck and love it tender . 
and no suspicious minds either , folks , cause i got stung by this movie , i mean it really shook me up , and unless you're the devil in disguise himself , i think you won't be able to help falling in love with this lucky charm either . 
so don't be cruel , don't turn away , don't curl up with your latest flame tonite ( whether she be a hard-headed woman or not ) and surrender to the hound dog of movies that is this film . 
it's now or never , folks . 
trust me , i did it my way and the heartbreak hotel of crappy movies that i'd seen so far this year is far behind me . 
joblo has now officially left the sanity of his mind and this building . 
thank you . . . thank 
you very much ! ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
get carter ( 7/10 ) - heat ( 8/10 ) - honeymoon in vegas ( 9/10 ) - payback ( 8/10 ) - reindeer games ( 5/10 ) -reservoir dogs ( 9/10 ) - way of the gun ( 6/10 ) 
"
"1",">from the commercials , this looks like a mild-mannered neil simonesque tale with mary tyler moore baring her bra touted as the highlight . 
instead it turns out to be a hilarious film running in high gear from beginning to end . 
the concept is deceptively pedestrian . 
an adult adopted son is looking for his biological parents and encounters eccentric characters along the way . 
the movie demonstrates just how far a good script and actors can take a mundane idea . 
the son and his wife take off on the search accompanied by a woman from the agency who located his parents . 
following one dead end lead after another , each funnier than the previous , they eventually end up in new mexico with his real biological parents : alan alda and lily tomlin . 
it's difficult to condense the mile-a-minute plot . 
seemingly hundreds of scenes jump on top of each other without giving you a chance to recover from the last one . 
without giving too much away , one of the better episodes involves a gay federal alcohol , tobacco and firearms agent attempting an arrest while tripping on lsd as his bi-sexual partner is upstairs licking the armpit of a woman while her husband is in the next room seducing their traveling companion . 
and it's all done in a fairly clean , almost ( well , maybe not exactly ) family fare manner . 
a grand cast ( tomlin , alda , moore , ben stiller , patricia arquette , tea leoni , george segal ) interacts in a seamless parade of laughs . 
drawing from a more hyper woody allen style , the film succeeds beyond expectations . 
"
"1","i'm not quite sure how best to go about writing this review . 
i must admit that i was a little disappointed by barry levinson's political satire "" wag the dog , "" but in retrospect , this has less to do with the film itself than with false expectations i had going into it . 
quite a few of the reviews i have read led me to believe that this film was absolutely hilarious and would make me laugh out loud the whole way through , and it didn't do that . 
they also led me to believe that it would deliver a vicious and all-too-true attack on the way the american political media works , and it didn't quite do that either . 
a few of them even suggested that it would prove a worthy successor to stanley kubrick's "" dr . 
strangelove "" in the tradition of political black comedy , and it most definitely didn't do that . 
that said , "" wag the dog "" is actually a very clever satire on the shady manipulations of political figures and those who assist them . 
the story revolves around the attempts of political spin doctor conread brean ( robert deniro ) to distract the american public from the accusations that the president , who is up for re-election in two weeks , sexually harassed a young girl in the oval office . 
the accusations , the script suggests , are probably untrue , but as brean so pointedly puts it , that isn't particularly relevant : the scandal is likely to derail the president's campaign regardless of its truth or falsehood . 
brean , along with his assistant ( anne heche ) , decide to contact hollywood producer stanley motss ( dustin hoffman ) to enlist his help in concocting enough propaganda and special-effects trickery to make it appear that the u . s . is going to war with albanian terrorists and thus propel the president to victory on a wave of patriotic fervor . 
as i said , "" wag the dog "" is not quite as laugh-out-loud hilarious as i had expected , but there are some genuinely funny moments to be found here , such as when , in an echo of a familiar movie clich ? , the camera pans out over an urban sunset to the strains of uplifting , inspirational music , then cuts to a studio to reveal that the singing is coming from a group of musicians whom motss has assembled to perform "" we have the right to fight for democracy . "" 
another scene shows us how , with modern editing equipment , an actress running across a sound stage with a bag of potato chips can be turned into a frightened young girl and her kitten fleeing a terrorist attack on her village . 
the most consistently effective gag revolves around the propaganda team's attempt to forge a fictional war hero out of sgt . 
william "" old shoe "" schumann ( woody harrelson ) , an ex-military officer who turns out to be a first-class psycho . 
of course , not everything goes as planned ; the cia , for example , realizes what's going on and strikes a deal with the president's electoral opponent to report to the media that the "" fighting "" has ended , forcing motss and brean to come up with a new angle on the supposed albanian crisis . 
still , even with the cia's involvement , the film falls a little short in terms of making this scenario believable . 
regardless of the official word from the president or the cia , wouldn't the major media outlets have eastern european correspondents who could verify that there is , in fact , no fighting going on in albania ? 
the film never addresses this question , nor does it show the reactions of the american public to the news of the apparent war except for a few scenes which border on the farcical , such as when basketball fans litter the court with shoes in support of the aforementioned sgt . 
schumann ; we are apparently meant to assume that everyone is buying it . 
there was also an instance , towards the end of the film , in which one of motss's forced reinventions of the story seems to contradict what he and brean had been selling to the public thus far and could conceivably have given the game away . 
with these plot holes , "" wag the dog "" doesn't quite work as a satire of american politics , but it does send up the mentality that might lead to these kinds of machinations in the first place . 
brean and his advisors never seem concerned that what they are doing is unethical ; rather , they worry about how convincing it will be and whether or not they have enough money to pull it off . 
the film takes a decidely dark turn towards the end , as we learn how far they are willing to go in order to keep the propaganda campaign a secret . 
motss and his hollywood buddies , meanwhile , seem completely out of touch with the rest of the world and just see this undertaking as another creative project . 
in fact , one of the sources of conflict in the film is motss's increasing restlessness with the idea of not being able to take credit for producing the fake war ; in his mind , it is the greatest work of art he has ever created . 
i think it's fair to say that "" wag the dog "" underachieves a little bit : more attention to the public reaction and tighter plotting might have made this into a four-star film and a classic satire . 
still , the issue of an american president using war and patriotism to distract from scandals or domestic unpopularity is a very real one . 
wag the dog takes the issue one step further and asks , what if the war wasn't even real ? 
with this premise and the talented cast , the film still delivers more consistently than most , whatever its flaws . 
"
"1","the sheer horrific audacity of the nazi plan to exterminate the jews of europe is almost incomprehensible . 
people may make documentaries about it for another hundred years and still not understand the organized , methodical hatred . 
five concentration camp survivors from the last days of world war ii tell their stories in the last days , the first documentary from steven spielberg's survivors of the shoah visual history foundation . 
the five interviewees are linked by their hungarian ancestry . 
as the introduction explains , even as germany started to lose the war , the nazis stepped up their extermination of the jews in europe . 
in 1944 , hungary had the last big population of jews within germany's reach , and they became the last target of hitler's "" final solution . "" 
each of the five tells his or her story . 
their stories are intercut chronologically , starting from normal life in pre-war hungary . 
they recall the nazi invasion of hungary , being sent to "" work "" camps and their realization that they were actually in death camps . 
they recall their horrible , precarious lives in auschwitz and buchenwald ; the deaths of their family and friends ; their loss of hope . 
each recalls his or her unfathomable , eventual liberation . 
and finally , the last days shows their cathartic , pained , modern-day return to their old homes and the camps . 
needless to say , their stories are horrifying , amazing , and emotionally draining . 
by themselves , the stories would be forceful testaments , but by cutting them in parallel , their impact is multiplied by five . 
the last days is a talking-heads style documentary -- it's mostly pictures of people telling their stories , intercut with period photographs and newsreel footage . 
in this kind of movie it's almost impossible to get archival pictures from the same time and place being discussed on-screen , but director james moll made a better effort than most at finding specific , or at least relevant , images to go with his subjects' narration . 
the liner notes ( one of the many nice features of this dvd ) indicate that there is some never-before-seen historical footage in the last days . 
it's not clear which scene it is . 
it could be one of two that i hadn't seen before , both powerful . 
one is rare color footage , shot by an american , of piles of victims in cattle cars . 
there is something jarring , something unsettling about seeing the pictures in color , when so much of the footage from world war ii is in black and white . 
another segment shows walking skeletons ; survivors who are so starved that they hardly look human anymore . 
there has been a glut of holocaust movies and i was skeptical that a new documentary would have anything new to say . 
but by focusing on hungarian jews during the last days of the war , moll told a specific part of the story in a new way , in greater detail . 
and i'm glad he did because his careful filmmaking stands up well compared to other movies on the same subject . 
the transfer to dvd is rich and beautiful . 
x-mozilla-status : 0009f words for a holocaust documentary , but some of the interviews take place in europe in late spring , when skies are blue and trees are green . 
also , the movie was shot on 35mm film ( and not video ! ) , 
so the richness and detail are impeccable . 
the dvd's features are plentiful and well-chosen . 
there is a theatrical trailer for the movie , which is a great introduction to the subject matter . 
there are about fifty still photos , both from the production crew and from the private collections of the survivors . 
also , the disc has two complete versions of the movie ( widescreen and full screen ) , both on the same side . 
one of the more interesting dvd features is an outtake segment for each of the survivors ( plus one for the crew ) . 
you'd think outtakes would be inappropriate in a holocaust documentary , but they're not bloopers . 
instead , they are solid , moving segments that were probably cut from the film only for length . 
one of them continues a confrontation that was only touched on lightly in the film . 
renee firestone ( one of the five ) spoke on camera with dr . hans m ? nch , a german doctor who ran the medical clinic at auschwitz . 
firestone was aggressive , questioning the doctor about what his children thought . 
the doctor was evasive and clearly uncomfortable . 
another of the outtakes showed bill basch saying a prayer for his dead friends at auschwitz . 
he ends his prayer by saying "" . . . forgive me for surviving . "" 
it's ambitious to shoot a documentary on 35mm film . 
it's ambitious to make it on a subject that has saturated cable , television , and movies . 
it's ambitious to make it 54 years after the events it covers . 
but the last days handles all these potential obstacles very well . 
it's only fitting that the dvd , with its wealth of interesting and relevant features , would also be ambitious and successful . 
"
"1","it is easy to label something sentimental or tear jerking when one has not experienced the heartache of losing a child ? whether that may be in life or in death . 
after having said that , i will also say that this movie does all of the above very well . 
one gets that choking sensation in the throat ( because of grief ) when one brother forgives another for a costly mistake , or when a husband hugs his wife after a long estrangement . 
there is no ocean , no drownings and it does not conjure up memories of yet another ? ordinary people' . 
in fact the only thing remotely connected to the ocean is probably tap water and the toilet flushing ( not that this literally happened in the movie ) . 
so what are the lessons learnt : 1 . 
don't take your children to class reunions . 
2 . don't leave them alone in the lobby , not even for a second . 
michelle pfeiffer once again plays the role of a highly-strung wife and mother , a trend that started with ? a thousand acres' and ? one fine day' . 
my comment is that she is exceptionally fine strung in this movie , so much so that when she has a nervous break down , the veins on her temples bulge impressively . 
whoopi golberg also puts in an understated performance , playing a lesbian cop , with a name that makes one want to reach for a lollipop . 
lastly , who are the ideal companions for this sort of movie ? my grandmother comes to mind . 
"
"1","i know that "" funnest "" isn't a word . 
 "" fun "" is a noun , and therefore cannot be conjugated like an adjective . 
but that's the word that came to me right after viewing "" chicken run . "" 
no wonder : this is the kind of movie that reduces you to childish expressions , like "" that was the funnest movie i've ever seen ! "" 
so to hell with webster's -- "" chicken run "" is one of the funnest movies i've seen in a while . 
i can't remember the last time i've seen anything funner . 
the chickens at tweedy's farm are up to something . 
living in a concentration camp-like atmosphere , they are led by one plucky hen called ginger ( voice of julia sawalha ) who continually comes up with plans for escape -- and always gets caught , subsequently spending day after day in the coal box . 
one night , a brash american rooster flies in over the fence , calling himself rocky ( mel gibson ) , famous flying rooster and circus performer . 
rocky promises to teach the chickens how to fly , and the situation grows more desperate as the nefarious mrs . tweedy ( miranda richardson ) decides to abandon the farm's egg-selling plan for a pie-selling plan . 
she orders a huge pie-making machine , cackling , "" chickens go in ; pies come out . "" 
what sort of pies ? 
chicken pies , of course . 
co-director nick park and his studio , aardman animation , produced three oscar-winning short films : "" creature comforts , "" "" the wrong trousers , "" and "" a close shave . "" 
the latter two were the second and third installments of a trilogy starring the delightful team wallace & gromit , a man and his dog famous for getting themselves into increasingly peculiar adventures . 
part of what made the "" wallace "" films brilliantly entertaining was park's uncanny ability to make an old story seem new . 
 "" the wrong trousers , "" for example , pulled out a lot of old hitchcockian suspense tricks , and "" a close shave "" owed a great deal of inspiration to classic detective stories . 
but in the hands of park and his team , the stories felt fresh and inspired , and not the least bit contrived . 
now teaming with co-director peter lord , park has created a similar creature in "" chicken run . "" 
the plot is largely lifted from "" the great escape "" ( watch for a quick reference to the ball-bouncing scene ) , with some spielberg-inspired action sequences providing the excitement . 
thing is , the film doesn't feel like it's been lifted from somewhere else ; "" chicken run "" feels fresh , alive , like nothing else ever done . 
part of it is the original idea : who in the world came up with the idea to make a prisoners-of-war movie starring chickens ? 
park and lord milk the incongruity for all it's worth : the characters treat their situation as if it were dead serious , and to them , it is . 
but they're * chickens * , so it's funny to us . 
another thing that helps "" chicken run "" ( and most of park's films ) succeed is the animators' subtle way of giving nods to the very films they're cribbing . 
there are references to "" the great escape , "" obviously , and "" stalag 17 . "" 
the chase sequence inside the chicken grinder parodies both "" raiders of the lost ark "" and "" indiana jones and the temple of doom . "" 
there's even a nod to "" the blues brothers , "" if you can believe it , and the filmmakers even get in a little light-hearted ribbing at the expense of their star voice actor , taking a couple of very subtle jabs at mel gibson's nationality and film history . 
the "" braveheart "" reference is a hoot if you catch it . 
when you consider just how fine a line resides between a funny parody and a redundant one , "" chicken run "" is downright brilliant in its execution . 
consider this : since july of last year , i've seen dozens upon dozens of "" blair witch project "" parodies , on television , on the radio , and online . 
out of all those , maybe one or two were amusing , the rest tiresome . 
why ? 
because once you got past the thought that "" they're parodying that&#8216 ; blair witch' movie , "" most of the parodies had nothing to offer -- no insight , no original idea , no greater purpose . 
they were only funny if you had seen the movie ; otherwise , you got nothing . 
conversely , "" chicken run "" doesn't lean on its parodies -- the film references are never the sole focus of any scene . 
if you've never seen "" indiana jones , "" the chase sequence is still fun . 
even if you have no idea who mel gibson is , rocky remains an interesting character . 
park , lord , and screenwriter karey kirkpatrick realize that an audience does not need a parody shoved in their faces before it's understood , and as a result , "" chicken run "" is filled with visual and verbal jabs that are never too obvious , but not quite vague either . 
enjoyment of this movie doesn't require knowledge of film history , but if you've got it , "" chicken run "" is that much richer . 
the voice cast turns in uniformly lively performances , and the characters they play are given so many subtle nuances that it's hard not to fall in love with every one of them . 
ginger is perfect , spunky and opinionated , but with a soft heart that forbids her to leave her companions behind , and julia sawalha ( known as the cute mousy girl on "" absolutely fabulous "" ) nails it . 
she has warm , human chemistry with gibson , whose rocky hides his personal doubt under a brash gung-ho veneer . 
the characters' inevitable romance doesn't feel contrived , but sweet . 
poor mr . tweedy ( tony haygarth ) suspects the chickens are organizing in some way , but his limited intellect prevents him from figuring things out , and his overbearing wife certainly isn't any help . 
jane horrocks delivers a lovely voice characterization as tragically optimistic babs ( a hen that runs away with most of the best one-liners , all while perpetually crocheting a sweater ) , and two supply-trading rats that seem to have walked straight out of a monty python sketch nearly steal the show during the lively central swing-dancing sequence . 
they even come up with an inspired riff on something that's baffled scholars and theologians alike for decades : the chicken vs . egg dilemma . 
one might have expected this inevitable joke to come off as wearisome , but as with most of "" chicken run , "" it comes as a delightful surprise . 
the film manages to cross all barriers ; it should be accessible to both children and adults , brits and yanks , rats and chickens . 
the animation is first-rate . 
remember that this was all done the old-fashioned way , with actual humans moving clay figurines around on a tiny set bit by painstaking bit , and you see just how truly remarkable "" chicken run "" really is . 
this movie possesses that same quality that makes pixar studios' animation great : precise and unwavering attention to detail . 
as in such top-notch family fare as "" a bug's life "" or "" toy story 2 , "" "" chicken run "" has something to offer in nearly every frame . 
certainly a passive viewer can enjoy it as a straightforward story with a worthwhile moral and some surprisingly touching scenes , but a active , attentive viewers will enjoy it even more because they'll catch all the details . 
anyway , the movie's just a boatload of fun . 
funnest damn movie i've seen all year . 
"
"1","capsule : a short punchy action sequel to the two dinosaur films made by steven spielberg . 
joe johnston directs a straightforward story of an excursion back to the island of the dinosaurs . 
it lets us see some new dinosaurs ( is that an oxymoron ? ) and gives us a nice and generally reasonably written adventure . 
the film is neither ambitious nor pretentious . 
i had a good time . 
 , low +2 ( -4 to +4 ) 
here goes my credibility . 
this is a film on which i expect to be in a minority . 
i liked the third jurassic park film . 
i even liked the second jurassic park film . 
in a lot of ways jurassic park : the lost world was a creative three-way braiding together of michael crichton's novel the lost world , arthur conan doyle's novel the lost world , and the classic silent film version of the doyle . 
jp2 was an adventure , as doyle said , "" for the boy who's half man or the man who's half boy . "" 
that is what all the jurassic park films are . 
expecting them to give the viewer insights into the human condition is like expecting your car to vacuum your house . 
the classic adventure films like gunga din or king solomon's mines had under-written characters also . 
jurassic park iii is an all out adventure on an island inhabited by dinosaurs . 
the characters are a little more complex than they at first appear to be , and even that is a little more complex than i was expecting . 
some of the characters who start out looking stupid and useless prove to be neither as the film proceeds . 
that degree of complexity combined with those very realistic looking dinosaur effects is just about as much as i require . 
i feel i got my money's worth . 
the story opens with eric ( played by trevor morgan ) and friend parasailing near the forbidden island of isla sorna off costa rica . 
this was the research island where the dinosaurs were created for the now defunct jurassic park . 
they hope , no doubt , to get a look at the island's dinosaurs from a safe height . 
the height is safe , but driving the boat in the water is not . 
the two soon find themselves in trouble and have to ditch their parasail onto the island where they do indeed get a better look at the dinosaurs than they had intended . 
flash to the united states and someone is offering to fund paleontologist alan grant ( sam neill ) in his research if he will go and fly over isla sorna and act as a guide . 
he has said that no force on earth or heaven could get him back near real dinosaurs . 
but again money convinces him to drop what he is doing and go . 
doing the convincing is a wealthy and eccentric couple ( william h . macy and tea leoni ) who has been just about everywhere else in the world and wants the adventure of seeing real dinosaurs . 
they too plan to see the island from a safe height grant is relieved to learn . 
he will fly over this island at a safe altitude just this once . 
right . 
guess what happens next ? 
jp3 probably functions better as a sequel than jp2 . 
first it has alan grant and ellie sattler ( laura dern ) back rather than the much less appealing ian malcolm . 
sattler has a much smaller part in jp3 , but is still present to tie this story to the first . 
curiously each film seems to arrange to have a signature scene with characters holding on to some large metal object that is about to fall some great distance . 
one thing that does not quite fit with the earlier films is just as grant discovers that raptors may be able to talk to each other , suddenly they seem to be doing it all the time . 
they did not appear to be conversing in the previous films . 
of course , these raptors look a little different also , so perhaps they are a different related species . 
not only are they more intelligent than in the past films , they are also more sympathetic . 
in this story they are not just killing machines , they have reasonable motives for what they do beyond nutrition . 
this time around they may be a little too anthropomorphized . 
each new film in the series introduces us to some new dinosaurs , of course . 
in this film a major threat is from a spinosaurus , not as common or as popularly known as a tyrannosaurus , but larger and presumably more nasty . 
it has a crocodile's head and the body that looks like a dimetrodon walking upright . 
perhaps as an economy measure or just to create a mood the visual effects team frequently obscures our view of the dinosaurs . 
sometimes they just move too fast to see . 
occasionally darkness or fog obscures our vision . 
a few times we get unconvincing matte shot , particularly of the laboratory . 
but there is less money on the screen in terms of dinosaur effects than in the two previous films . 
the musical score by don davis borrows heavily from john williams's score for the first film . 
joe johnston , who directs , already has to his credit two very good films i recommend the rocketeer and october sky . 
a team including alexander payne and jim taylor known for election writes the screenplay . 
the film they have made is a long way from great cinema , but it still is fun . 
if you get a thrill from seeing what look very much like live dinosaurs alive today , the film is for you . 
i rate it a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low +2 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"1","just look back two years ago at the coen brothers' comedic gem the big lebowski , change the actors , take away the bowling alley , add a record store , and you've got high fidelity ( or maybe the other way around since nick hornby's novel high fidelity came first ) . 
either way , it's been done before , a trio of losers cracking jokes and complaining about their failed romances , yet it remains consistently funny . 
why is this ? 
maybe because you know your life is much better than this , you know these guys are more pathetic than you are , and you know its ok to laugh at them because they're fictional . 
director stephen frears , possibly not intentionally , has created a movie that makes you feel good about yourself and even that ostensibly no good uncle who watches television twenty four hours a day . 
when watching high fidelity , expect to laugh at someone else's pain , realize what you are laughing at , and then laugh again . 
i laughed at dick ( todd louiso ) , the shy , timorous , steve buscemi character of lebowski , who seems to know what he is talking about but either can't put it into words or is harshly rejected by his friends . 
i laughed at the john goodman character barry ( jack black ) , an exact replica of the comic bookstore owner on the simpsons , pudgy , egotistic , and obnoxious at the same time . 
and i laughed at rob ( john cusack ) , the jeff bridges type , whom the story revolves around . 
rob is the character easiest to relate to , but he is nothing like you at all . 
he uncontrollably cheats and lies , then is unable to realize why he can not hold onto a woman . 
and like his other miserable friends , pop music is where he inevitably goes for comfort . 
he spends the afternoons at his job quizzing his coworkers with obscure trivia or listening to new music and either deriding it or praising it . 
whatever human emotions the clash , aretha franklin , and bruce springsteen records hold , rob and co . 
grasp them and help fill voids in their social lives . 
rob has built an extensive collection in his record store as well as his home and he organizes them depending on what mood he is in . 
during this confused stage of his life in which the movie focuses on , rob is trying to cope with numerous rejections over the years by visiting past girlfriends and eventually asking why they dumped him . 
but these aren't any girlfriends ? these girls made the all time top five break ups in the history of rob ( rob's incessant use of lists show how pop music has played a major role in his life ) . 
the plot in three words is : women and music . 
the approach director stephen frears takes by having the charismatic rob speak directly to the camera is very effective . 
it gives high fidelity a quickly paced , informal structure , adjectives which perfectly parallel rob's own lifestyle . 
it also helps open the viewer's eyes as to how annoying barry is . 
jack black steals the show with a hilariously realistic performance as a total sleaze ball . 
just listening to him speak for five minutes makes the audience immediately sympathetic for rob , who must work with him every day of the week . 
what frears does so well is that he makes us feel sorry for rob while laughing at his misfortunes . 
john cusack plays his character convincingly but it is the strong supporting cast , consisting of big stars and character actors , that really defines rob . 
now instead of rob just talking to the camera , after he explains something , the remaining cast members physically and humorously create what he is trying to say . 
the only problem with high fidelity is that it doesn't end when it should have ended . 
instead the movie goes on for a torturous twenty minutes that seem a lot longer than that . 
also bruce springsteen is completely wasted in a brief cameo halfway through the movie . 
high fidelity is a cheerful , old fashioned comedy with a voluminous soundtrack and as many laughs . 
i just hope hollywood keeps creating losers on the big screen , they make everyone look and feel great . 
"
"1","plot : a human space astronaut accidentally falls upon a planet ruled by apes . 
he is taken prisoner along with some other humans , and tries his best to escape his simian captors . 
oh yeah , and did i mention that the apes can talk ? 
kewl ! 
critique : despite this film not looking like a "" tim burton movie "" or its lead human character showing any signs of being a human being himself , i did find myself generally entertained throughout most of this film and do recommend it as fun , summer fare . 
although the thing that sets this movie apart from all others is definitely its incredible ape make-up jobs and characterizations . 
i mean , i was completely convinced that every single one of these apes was for real ! 
i also have to "" give it up "" to all of the actors inside the costumes , not only for waking up at three in the morning every day to get make-up slobbered all over them for 2-4 hours , but for coming through their costumed exteriors and selling us their characters on the screen as well . 
i especially enjoyed bonham carter's performance , who i believed to be the most developed character in the entire film ( human or ape ) and tim roth's bad guy , who chewed up scenery and oozed evil in every scene in which he took part . 
plot-wise , i liked the beginning of the film , the whole build-up once wahlberg got into the village , the escape and most of the fight scenes , but once things got out into the deserted area ( and the final battle sequence ) , i kinda lost a bit of my interest . 
i was much more intrigued by the interactions between the characters and the whole idea of "" human beings as animals "" then i was about the end battle sequence , which just seemed a bit too typical for this kind of film . 
i also hated the "" kid "" character who just got on my nerves and didn't really care for the way that the battle sequence was resolved ( i won't ruin it here but c'mon guys . . . you 
coulda thought of something a little more plausible than that , no ? ) . 
but the thing that held this movie back more than anything else was its lead character , his cold demeanor and the zero chemistry that he shared with either one of his inter-species love interests . 
this dude didn't seem to give a rat's ass about anyone but himself and i ultimately didn't really care about what happened to him either . 
now i'm not sure if this was the fault of the actor or the script , but the film suffered because of it . 
visually , the movie was also nice to look at ( especially the apes ! ) , but i definitely expected greater coolness from tim burton . 
the "" surprise ending "" that highlighted the original planet of the apes film back in 1968 , felt a little tacked on here , and despite being interesting , didn't really make all that much sense to me ( unless you look at it from a sequel point of view ) . 
so overall , i loved the whole "" feel "" of the planet , the apes that ruled it , the manner in which they treated the humans , screamed , shouted and reverted the entire evolution chain , but didn't appreciate the film's lack of human character development ( why was kris kristofferson even in this movie ? ) and the fact that its lead male and female humans were just plain boring . 
but i would still recommend this film as a fun , summer movie with laughs , creepiness and a really cool premise . 
ps : for anyone who has seen the original , i cannot believe that they didn't at least bring back the scene in which the lead human character ( in this case , mark wahlberg ) goes nuts at the world in which he's suddenly been thrust ( "" this is a mad house ! "" - 
type of thing ) . 
the guy in this film barely seems to be "" put off "" by the fact that he's surrounded by apes who can speak english ! ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
the arrival ( 8/10 ) - battlefield earth ( 7/10 ) - godzilla ( 4/10 ) - instinct ( 6/10 ) - mission to mars ( 3/10 ) - pitch black ( 7/10 ) - ( 1968 ) planet of the apes ( 9/10 ) - sleepy hollow ( 8/10 ) 
"
"1","disaster films have a tendency to be very formulated and very cliched . 
to see a disaster film with actual originality , or at least a decent plot twist , would definitely be a welcome surprise . 
unfortunately , folks , it's not likely . 
dante's peak is cliched , and at times corny , but also pretty decent . 
to be honest , i wasn't very interested in seeing this film , and word of mouth , as well as several reviews , didn't make it sound promising . 
so i was pleasantly surprised that to find that this movie wasn't bad at all . 
it's pretty run of the mill , but it's not something i would say is merely "" ok "" to watch . 
in case you don't know , dante's peak is about a volcano and the city which lives in it's shadow , dante's peak ( who would've guessed , eh ? ) . 
pierce brosnan plays the volcanologist sent to study the volcano and , perhaps more by hunch than actual scientific proof , is determined that the volcano will be arupting in the very near future . 
due to the lack of more substantial evidence , nobody warns the small town , and when they finally do , it's in the middle of the town meeting that the volcano finally blows . 
brosnan , all around good guy , will , of course , save the day . 
 . 
 . 
or at least the mayor of dante's peak ( linda hamilton ) . 
naturally the two will become infatuated with one another . 
 ( if you think i just ruined a plot development , you haven't seen very many movies ! ) 
there's also the virtually neccessary kids and pet dog to tug at your heart strings . 
and of course , the kids or the dog ( at least one or the other ) will do something heroic . 
 . 
 . 
but hey , i don't want to ruin all the surprises ! 
if there was a part of you that was hesitating seeing dante's peak merely because it was rumored to be a waste of time , i urge you to watch it and decide for yourself . 
it's not brain food , but it succeeds at what it's meant to be . 
 . 
 . 
an enjoyable , suspenseful movie about the fury mother nature can unleash ! 
"
"1","in brief : best bleak comedy film since heathers . 
full of wonderful swipes at the fifteen minutes of fame mentality that feeds so much of modern american pop culture . 
go see it ! 
so , i prepared for this film by watching a moving interview on "" hard copy "" with pam smart , the new hampshire media teacher who was convicted of engineering the death of her husband back in the 1980's . 
 "" hard copy "" 's diane diamond asked smart what she thought about nicole kidman's fictionalized portrayal of her in the new film to die for . 
smart replied that she thought kidman's character came off as a dumb , vicious tramp and she thought that the publicity the new movie generates might just hurt her chances in her latest court appeal . 
 ( smart was convicted and given a life sentence for her part in the murder of her husband . ) 
smart's got a point . 
it wouldn't be the first time that the public took the better scripted and well-acted movie version of an event as the absolute truth over the duller and far less artistic real life version . 
however , given a choice between the mass media 'happening' of the real event and the fictionalized movie , i would definitely opt for the later . 
real murderers rarely have dialogue as witty as what buck henry has written for this movie and smart , while pretty and alluring , is no match for the cinematic charms of nicole kidman . 
to die for begins in a town called little hope , new hampshire , the archetypal dry and intellectually barren american suburb . 
the story concerns the ambitious suzanne stone and how she tackles the obstacles between her and her life long ambition of being 'on tv . ' 
of course , one of those little obstacles turns out to be her dull and unambitious husband larry , played by matt dillon . 
but , with a little imagination , some charm and raw sex appeal and a rather novel approach to junior achievement , our heroine manages to overcome the nay-sayers in her life , at least temporarily . 
kidman triumphs in the trashy role of suzanne . 
i have never really been all that fond of this actress but she shows a wonderful flair for comedy in this picture . 
her portrayal of the incredibly shallow and dumb femme fatale resonates . 
kidman knows a star-making role when she sees it and she plays the conscience-deprived suzanne as the ultimate career driven , post-feminist uber-temptress from hell . 
she is ably abetted by wonderfully demented comic dialogue , which kidman delivers in a unselfconsciously funny way . 
at one point suzanne is expounding on her knowledge of world events to her future husband and sister-in-law . 
 "" you know , "" she knowingly exclaims , "" gorbachev would still be the leader of russia or whatever , if he had just had that ugly purplish thing removed from his head . "" 
her husband beams at suzanne's profound knowledge of world politics and then proudly proclaims that this qualifies her to be the next barbara walters . 
this is very close to pop culture bashing heaven , folks . 
the other standout performance in the film is delivered by joaquin phoenix . 
he plays jimmy , a burned out teenager who becomes addicted to suzanne's sexual favors . 
kidman's character , vapid though she is , is a sort of suave beacon of success to jimmy and his lost friends russell and lydia , winningly portrayed by casey affleck and alison folland . 
phoenix looks like the very embodiment of gen-x slackerhood ( as envisioned by tabloid tv , of course ) . 
his jimmy has the dead eyes and demeanor of a kid who knows that he ain't going anywhere , ever . 
phoenix reacts to the sexy suzanne with a sort of obsessed amazement and he makes us believe that a loser character like jimmy really would be willing to kill for someone like suzanne , someone who actually noticed him . 
gus van sant ( drugstore cowboy , my own private idaho ) direction is first-rate . 
he keeps the pacing in this not-quite-thriller snapping along . 
van sant rightly keeps the focus of this movie on the amoral suzanne and doesn't stop to proselytize the audience about the rightness or wrongness of her actions . 
van sant trusts his material and trusts his audience to 'get it' without stopping to explain what is funny about this all-american story . 
the screenplay , by buck henry , is absolutely great and includes some of the best bleakly comic lines i've heard since heathers . 
henry's story is a blast against the shallowness of the american media and the mindlessness of fame , yet the screenplay delivers this sharp message by focusing on just a few characters . 
henry ably manages to avoid diluting his story by aiming at too many targets and the result is a crisp and funny mini-classic . 
danny elfman did the original music for this movie and he delivers another eccentric , loopy score that strongly echoes his themes for edward scissorhands . 
either film score would make wonderful background music for halloween trick-or-treat parties . 
all-in-all , a wonderful production , well worth your seven bucks ! 
to die for : a columbia pictures release directed by gus van sant . 
written by buck henry score by danny elfman starring nicole kidman , matt dillon , joachin phoenix based on the book by joyce maynard . 
rated r - for language and mature themes . 
 ( respect the r , not for under 14's ) rating ----- stars . 
go see it . 
"
"1","i relish those rare opportunities when a talented screenwriter can make me feel like a fool . 
i spent the first hour of forces of nature slowly stewing over its grim attitude towards marriage , grousing to myself about its transparently planes , trains and automobiles plot machinations , and waiting for the inevitable hollywood denouement . 
this was a mass market romantic comedy , after all , a genre which has been taken over by teenagers and , even in its best days , worked hard to perpetuate the romance = infatuation paradigm . 
then marc lawrence did something wonderful , something which made the entire film click into place : he showed me a comic love story about grown-ups . 
it certainly didn't look that way from the outset , which introduces groom-to-be ben holmes ( ben affleck ) at his bachelor party , surrounded by friends and family whooping over his "" last night of freedom . "" 
ben loves his fiancee bridget ( maura tierney ) , but the doom-and-gloom pronouncements of everyone around him have him questioning the meaning of this 'till death do you part business . 
then , on an ill-fated flight from new york to his wedding in savannah , ben meets sarah lewis ( sandra bullock ) , a free-spirited woman with a string of failed careers and relationships behind her . 
as transportation troubles thwart them at every turn , ben and sarah begin a three-day southward journey in which their connection grows ever stronger , ben seeing in sarah the chances he's never taken and sarah seeing in ben the stability she's never had . 
forces of nature gets off to a solid enough start , setting up the characters and the situations with plenty of witty dialogue . 
ben is an ideal role for affleck's easy-going charm , and he plays the straight-laced straight man without forced exasperation . 
sandra bullock , for her part , is more loose and appealing than she has been in her last half-dozen films combined , avoiding her recent habit of playing any semblance of character depth as moping . 
the two performances -- part of a great top-to-bottom cast -- are effective and connected from the start , yet the script's apparent sympathy with the marital horror stories ben hears makes it difficult to enjoy the romance completely . 
lively and funny though it may be on a consistent basis , forces of nature leaves a bitter taste that feels like self-justification . 
the kicker is that those acidic anecdotes serve exactly the opposite purpose , leading to a surprisingly emotional resolution . 
forces of nature isn't about a man developing a fear of commitment ; it's about a man learning what commitment means _to him_ , learning that it's not what he thought it was . 
lawrence's script feints and dodges before reaching its happy ending , an ending which is happy because people make the choices that make the most sense . 
earlier scenes that might have felt like throwaways take on more resonance , and that bitter taste sweetens into something fresh and genuine . 
though one too many plot contrivances keep ben and sarah together through the film , and they do exchange the obligatory mutual character analysis of bickering screen couples , forces of nature wraps up so perfectly that you'll end up remembering the humor and the simple wisdom . 
that is , provided you're not put off by the ridiculously busy direction of bronwen hughes . 
for a brisk romantic comedy , forces of nature comes loaded with some of the most over-directed scenes of the year : teetering hand-held shots , why-not low or high angles , sweeping pans . 
occasionally the hyper-real approach works , with cinematographer elliot davis creating a world of fantasy romance ; far more often , hughes refuses to let a scene be what it is , covering it with flourishes so thick you almost can't find what's underneath . 
a script this smart and mature deserved a more restrained director , but even hughes' excesses can't spoil this unique concoction . 
forces of nature may restore your faith in romantic comedy as something with the power to enchant , something that can make you happy to be proved wrong when you expect a tale for and about adolescents . 
"
"1","warning : this review contains some spoilers for the 1964 film "" fail-safe . "" 
if you haven't seen the film yet , proceed with caution . 
nutshell : a relevant , intelligent , suspenseful drama . 
still powerful today , even after the end of the cold war . 
-------------------- "" fail-safe "" ( usa , 1964 ) drama , 111 minutes 
screenplay by walter bernstein based on the novel by eugene burdick and harvey wheeler produced by max e . youngstein directed by sidney lumet 
review by jamahl epsicokhan -------------------- 
the most ironic aspect of nuclear war is that it doesn't have a winning side and a losing side . 
in a nuclear confrontation , everybody loses , and the aftereffects have devastating effects that impact the entire world--assuming the world survives . 
the idea--and perhaps the only real option--is to avoid war at all costs . 
this is the theme of sidney lumet's "" fail-safe , "" a fictional drama based on the novel by eugene burdick and harvey wheeler . 
 "" fail-safe "" takes place during the heart of the cold war ( the actual film was released two years after the cuban missile crisis ) , when the united states and the soviet union were in static discord over an issue that can be summarized in a single word : communism . 
the premise centers around a combination of accidents and operation flaws . 
five u . s . bombers carrying nuclear warheads are ordered to set a routine course for moscow after an unidentified aircraft is spotted heading toward america . 
the unidentified aircraft turns out to be a commercial airliner , but a mechanical failure strikes the military base that commands the bombers . 
suddenly out of contact , and with standing orders to remain on course until receiving new directives , the bomber pilots cannot be recalled , and they proceed to moscow with the intention of destroying it with a nuclear strike . 
a great deal of "" fail-safe "" 's plot follows various characters as they attempt to devise ways of stopping the u . s . bombers from reaching russia's borders--at any cost . 
the plot is compelling , and the story creates urgency and dread by painting the grimmest of worst case scenarios . 
the reality sets in quickly as one attempt to turn the bombers after another fails . 
general bogan ( frank overton ) , taking orders directly from the president of the united states himself ( henry fonda ) , is powerless--the fate of the world lies in the hands of an automated , pre-programmed system that may not be stoppable , simply because the creators of the war machines were too efficient in their task to make a no-win situation winnable . 
the events in "" fail-safe "" are fascinating because they're anything but predictable , but the real reason "" fail-safe "" works is because it understands more about nuclear war than what exists within the confines of its plot . 
a key ingredient to the film is its ability to create an ongoing polemic about nuclear war , communism , the cold war , and the united states' role in all of it . 
most of this is through the film's use of the character groeteschele ( walter matthau ) , an arrogant civilian theorist of nuclear weapons use who , incidentally , is on the president's advising staff for analyzing the statistical plausibility of waging a nuclear war . 
many of the film's most pointed messages arise from discussions where groeteschele is one of the key voices . 
early in the film , he hosts a dinner party where he explains the importance of "" strategy "" in a nuclear assault to "" minimize "" casualties . 
 "" what's the difference between 60 million and 100 million dead ? "" 
a guest asks impatiently . 
 "" forty million , "" groeteschele responds wryly . 
the problem with groeteschele's mindset is that he * believes * nuclear combat to be a viable method of war . 
the only difference to him between nuclear armageddon and conventional warfare is the raw data and the casualty totals . 
groeteschele realizes that these weapons can destroy the world several times over . 
yet his answer to the arms race is not to slow down and try to cool the situation off , as general black ( dan o'herlihy ) has often recommended . 
on the contrary--according to groeteschele , that would lead to russia having * more * nuclear weapons than the u . s . , which would clearly put america at a disadvantage . 
such a stance was perhaps the central paradox and misguided practice of the arms race . 
 "" fail-safe "" clearly sees it as one of the central issues of the cold war , and , likewise , it becomes a central theme in the film . 
why continue to build such machines of mass destruction while already possessing enough of them to destroy the world several times over ? 
is it wise ? 
is it even logical ? 
no , not really . 
although "" fail-safe "" is more about the issue of nuclear weapons than it is about the political ramifications of communism , there is a scene in the film that deals with communism in an intentionally superficial , one-sided sort of way . 
again , this is achieved through groeteschele , who is easily the film's most important character in terms of the larger-theme significance . 
in addition to providing the central "" pro-nuclear war "" voice that the film warns against , he also makes key remarks about communists that show just how much fear and resentment people of the period were prone to when it came to communism . 
the context the film uses suggests that this hatred was often glib . 
one of groeteschele's "" logical "" trains of thought ventures so far into fantasy theoretical prediction that it's merely absurd . 
he labels the average marxist an "" unfeeling , calculating machine "" that will do whatever it takes to preserve itself . 
groeteschele takes it so far as to say that if the u . s . drops the warhead on moscow , the soviets will * instantly * surrender , for to retaliate would invite counter-measures that would further destroy russia's home soil--which must be preserved at all costs . 
groeteschele seems to forget these people are human beings with emotions ; general black quickly reminds him that the soviets would attack out of revenge--as any normal person would . 
the irony here is groeteschele's own mechanical theorizing . 
he is so quick to judge the enemy that he doesn't even realize his own seemingly programmed thought patterns . 
once the film makes it evident that turning the u . s . bombers will be impossible , the question becomes what the * consequences * of destroying moscow will be . 
just how will the soviet union's leader react , and what can the president do to convey his best intentions ? 
 ( just * how * does one pass off the deaths of millions of people as an * mishap * ? ) 
with the help of his translator buck ( larry hagman ) , the president negotiates at length with the soviet leader , in scenes that prove amazingly taut and powerful in their simplicity , with lumet's long takes of fonda and hagman in the same frame , exchanging the dialog between the president and the soviet leader . 
without getting into too much detail , i will say that the compromise they ultimately reach is very costly , yet necessary and as sensible as possible under the circumstances . 
 ( that is , as sensible as a nuclear "" incident "" can probably be . ) 
it does accomplish what it must : it avoids an all-out war , something that simply isn't possible because of its all-too-real consequences . 
dramatically , the ending is quite powerful , and the use of o'herlihy's character as the symbolic "" matador "" ( providing a bookend to the film by ending the story while tying into his dream sequence from the film's opening ) , is particularly appropriate . 
 "" fail-safe "" is a production of a major hollywood studio ( released by columbia pictures ) , and it has the structure of a high-tension suspense thriller that one might expect from a hollywood film . 
nevertheless , under lumet's direction and walter bernstein's intelligent adaptation of burdick's and wheeler's novel , the film continues to have a lasting effect even after the events on screen have unfolded . 
the film often warns that the automation of war is something that may make nuclear holocaust an unintentional consequence of such mass arming . 
but it was the conscious , human choice to * initialize * this automatic arming that "" fail-safe "" also finds dangerous . 
in retrospect , the arms race seems to be one of the most puzzling exercises in futility of the century . 
it's just fortunate that both sides were finally able to come to their senses and slow down , rather than continuing groeteschele's dangerous approach of speeding up and causing a possible meltdown . 
"
"1","andrew lloyd webber's musicals , preferably his early work with lyricist tim rice , present a musical which is totally unlike any musical before its time . 
webber and rice do not subscribe to the gaity of such musicals as "" oklahoma ! , "" or the slapstickness of shows like "" a funny thing happened on the way to the forum . "" 
they instead tackle hot issues from our past , and view them differently , and pack them together with redundant , catchy music , as well as thoughtful lyrics . 
like "" jesus christ superstar , "" which examined the rise and fall of jesus in his last days from a fame perspective ( in the cool tune "" superstar , "" a dead judas comes back from the dead to ask jesus why he didn't spread his message wider ) , "" evita "" takes an inventive stance on its topic , this time being the famed wife of argentinian dictator , juan per ? n , eva , who slept her way to the top and became famous chiefly because she got attention , much like the woman playing her : madonna ( although i think madonna did rise to the top for her musical talent , among other things ) . 
 "" evita "" deals with the rise and fall of eva per ? n , a woman who captured the heart of the nation after marrying juan ( jonathan pryce ) , then died at the young age of 33 , creating an international stir of mourning not unlike that of princess di ( the two do share a bit in common , although it wasn't like di slept to "" the top "" ) . 
webber and rice sure chose bizarre topics for their musicals , but they always have a point for doing it . 
here , they wish to expose her for what she is , but still show that despite all of her many drawbacks , her lying , and covering up for her fascist husband , but show that she was still a good woman with fairly good intentions , and her death was very sad . 
it's also a musical , with almost no words not unsung . 
the film plays like a rock opera , much like their "" jesus christ superstar , "" with many giant musical sequences just like the old musicals , even if they do possess very intelligent lyrics , which create not only an intellectually enlightening experience , but also a very entertaining one . 
after all , this is a musical , and webber's musicals never undermine this . 
they are a balance of energy and intellectual depth , walking on a fine line between the both , and never stumbling on either side . 
this is why the beginning of "" evita "" is kind of a let-down . 
okay , it is a let-down . 
i'm not saying the opening moments are bad , because they're pretty good . 
but what comes after is a lifeless , un-entertaining , and totally unrewarding sequence where she cons a singer ( jimmy nail ) into taking eva to buenos aires after a one-night stand . 
in the musical , it's a fun , energetic sequence , culiminating in the show stopper , "" buenos aires , "" which is also lifeless . 
then a punch is pulled as we see eva being screwed over by the singer , instead of her leaving him , where she ends up singing the sad tune , "" another suitcase in another hall , "" which was meant for a later character , screwed over by eva . 
the portrayal of eva in the beginning is too soft , seeming like parker and oliver stone , who adapted it for the screen , are afraid to present her for what she is , even while it's being narrated by a hater of eva's , the omnipotent ( antonio banderas ) , who presents her in a negative light . 
for a while , it looks like alan parker can't pull it off . 
however , the film pulls itself together in a flash , and after that song is over , and the giddily nihilistic song "" goodbye and thank you , "" where we see eva go through a long line of lovers who help her ascend , is magnificent , darkly comical , and just gleeful . 
from this point on , the film is hypnotic , satisfying , and satirical . 
no more punches are thrown , and the basic outline of the original musical are in tact . 
we see eva woo and marry juan , get him out of jail , rise to stardom , falter a bit , come back , and then gradually die of cancer ( i think it was because of cancer ) . 
more importantly , many of the themes from the musical carry on with this , as well as some filling-in-the-gaps reconnassaince work . 
juan , who is pretty underwritten in the musical , is given some extra scenes , and exposed as what he was for eva : an accessory . 
a muted scene where he tries to visit her respective room but is shunned allows us to learn more about juan , and understand his sadness more than we did before . 
>from the "" goodbye and thank you "" number on , the film shows eva trying to cover up for the horrible government by doing cheap and petty things which wooed a nation , and saved a government , even while it left the nation's people downtrodden . 
but despite this , the nation still loved eva , and when she slipped into death , the world mourned her because she was a star . 
that's when our narrator , ch ? , comes out to show that she wasn't the great woman she really was , and expose her fame . 
describing this character is difficult , mainly because he has no real realistic background ( he's said to be based on the revolutionary ch ? guevera , but the two probably could have never met , like they do in the film ) , but he serves as a perspective on eva , but even his perspective can't help us from feeling bad when eva dies a pathetic death . 
alan parker , no stranger to bizarre musicals ( he's done "" fame , "" "" the committments , "" "" bugsy malone , "" and "" pink floyd the wall "" - the latter which is absolutely brilliant ) , nails the film , exposing everything for what it is . 
we cry for evita at the end because we feel we should , by the way it is presented . 
his direction is manipulative for a reason : to show the mourning for what it is . 
and there is energy throughout , with lots of bright colors , and scenes which are cinematically entertaning , as well as enriching and deep , such as the balcony scene where she sings "" don't cry for me , argentina , "" and her death sequence , which is poignant becuase of how sad it is . 
madonna's golden globe winning performance is much like the movie : starts kinda downhill then goes up quickly , remaning there for the rest of the film . 
at the beginning , she looks like she's too busy concentrating on her singing to act , but she eventually gets it right , though never really getting the presence of , say , patti lupone ( who did the role in its american premiere back in the late 70s ) . 
her death , though , is brilliant . 
her singing could be better though . 
i know she took lessons to improve her range and all , but it still sounds like she's trying to hard . 
she sounds way too soft in several places where she should be comanding ( like . . . patti 
lupone - i heard her sing on an old "" evita "" cd , and you could just feel her stage presence without even seeing her ) . 
but it's generally very good , although not up to the brilliance the role really requires . 
antonio banderas , who is almost like a guilty pleasure these days ( i'm one of the few people who thinks he rocks ) , is extremely comanding in his performance , presenting a lovable narrator . 
his singing is very good , though nothing compared to the original , mandy patinkin . 
he does have a pretty good singing voice , and a great range . 
and jonathan pryce is pretty awesome , although very brief at times , in his role as juan , seeming to put on a poker face for his melancholy facade . 
although it gets off to a rocky start ( "" rocky "" 's polite for what it really is ) , it soon picks up and becomes a wonderully poignant musical . 
like the other musical released in '96 ( woody allen's "" everyone says i love you "" ) , it's a reminder that the hollywood musical may be dead , but it can come back every now and then for a brief performance . 
"
"1","there's more to a quilt than fabric and thread--each patchwork design has its own unique story ( or stories ) to tell . 
in how to make an american quilt , the first hollywood release from australian director jocelyn moorhouse ( proof ) , we come to understand how the tales of the seven makers imbue their creation with passion and vitality . 
all the sorrows , joys , longings , sufferings , and loves of these women are sewn into their quilt and , as their bittersweet memories are given expression , one young woman applies these lessons of the past to her own uncertain future . 
motion pictures are filled with male bonding rituals ; how to make an american quilt presents a distinctly feminine alternative . 
the "" quilting bee "" consists of seven members : sisters gladys ( ann bancroft ) and hy ( ellen burstyn ) ; sophia ( lois smith ) , a woman known for frightening children ; emma ( jean simmons ) , the timid wife of a perpetually unfaithful man ; constance ( kate nelligan ) , who has been having an affair with emma's husband ; anna ( maya angelou ) , the leader of the group ; and marianna ( alfre woodard ) , anna's daughter . 
the project they're busy with is the wedding quilt for hy's granddaughter , finn ( winona ryder ) , who has just become engaged . 
she's spending the summer with hy and gladys , and away from her fiance , to decide whether a lifelong commitment is really what she wants , and whether it's better to marry a friend or a lover . 
one of the greatest pleasures of how to make an american quilt comes from watching an array of fine performances by an impressive ensemble cast . 
from winona ryder , ann bancroft , ellen burstyn , and maya angelou to minor players like rip torn , claire danes , and kate capshaw , this film is overflowing with realized talent . 
the performances are good enough , in fact , to cover up many of the script's weaknesses . 
how to make an american quilt is basically an unremarkable , if affecting , tale of love across the generations--a sort of truncated american version of the joy luck club , with a dash of fried green tomatoes added . 
there are probably too many characters . 
so , instead of really getting to know a few of them , we are presented with quick glimpses into a single defining event in each of their lives . 
we learn about the root of the smoldering resentment between gladys and hy , and are told the reasons why emma stays with her husband and sophia is so irascible . 
there are other episodes as well : the love of anna's life , marianna's soul mate , and a look at the reasons why constance entered into an affair with her friend's husband . 
the sum total of these tales is meant to provide the framework for finn's story : whether to go forward with her marriage or dally with a hunky stranger . 
there is no emotional epiphany in how to make an american quilt . 
the stories are all well-told , but it's difficult to really connect with the characters--their moments pass so quickly . 
while we certainly feel something for each of the eight principals , our emotional investment is tenuous . 
there isn't enough depth to pull the viewer in all the way , and many of the personalities and relationships feel half- formed , like a quilt with patches missing . 
to put it bluntly , while i enjoyed watching this film , it didn't "" do much "" for me . 
on the whole , how to make an american quilt is a nicely-understated drama that has a lot to say about love , passion , and monogamy in relationships . 
finn's segment is by far the most compelling , because she's the focal point : her actions are shaped by everyone else's experiences . 
the other patches of this american quilt are successful only to varying degrees . 
if there's a disappointment here , it's that the script doesn't have more resonance , but the privilege of seeing such a fine cast in top form allows a viewer to enjoy this picture even if the story is somewhat conventional . 
"
"1","mimi leder is probably best known for her stunning work as a director of the hit tv-show er . 
her mast famous episode , "" love's labour lost "" , dealt with the ordeal of doctor mark greene as he tried his best to save the life of a pregnant mother and her child . 
the way she moved the camera and created tension throughout every scene was amazing . 
there was more excitement and adrenaline rushed suspense than just about any of hollywood's big blockbuster movies . 
so it's only natural that leder would get to direct her very own hollywood blockbuster . 
and i have to say , after a shaky beginning , she does not disappoint . 
peacemaker deals with the theft of nuclear weapons by terrorists , which is obviously nothing new . 
the first half hour goes into detail , way too much detail , about how the weapons are stolen . 
despite a few good images , including a train collision and a very impressive explosion , none of this was very coherent . 
it's long and drawn out , and i would have settled with a more implausible beginning that would have moved the story along better . 
once george clooney and nicole kidman enter the picture , it begins to take off . 
george clooney is an air force colonel with connections all over the world . 
he has a nice sarcastic wit and the rough edges that you expect from most clooney characters . 
nicole kidman is head of a white house team on weapons smuggling . 
there is the usual flirtatious banter between the two , but that is dispensed with quickly . 
the story takes clooney and kidman across the globe , trying to figure out who has the weapons and where they are going with them . clooney 
goes through bouts of sarcasm , frustration , determination , and revenge while kidman works against her own insecurity and self-doubt . 
this is when leder starts to show her true stuff . 
she starts us off with a nifty little car chase as an appetizer . 
then we get clooney doing heroics in and out of a helicopter . 
then that leads us to the brilliant final showdown on new york city's crowded streets , and a madman with a nuke walking among them . 
mimi leder is a natural at creating suspense . 
she reminds me of wolfgang petersen in her ability to make the most routine action sequences exciting and breathtaking . 
nicole kidman is an intelligent female action hero . 
you're not gonna find her falling down so clooney can come back to save her . 
george clooney is a real movie star . 
many of you may have hated him as batman , but this guy is for real . 
he has a natural screen presence , and an ingratiating personality . 
he'll be around for a while . 
dreamworks is off to a satisfying start with peacemaker . 
"
"1","i have to say it . 
tim burton's retelling of planet of the apes is more fun than a barrel of monkeys . 
ok , that's off my chest . 
no more monkey puns , i promise . 
seriously , though , planet of the apes is one rip-roarin' summer outing , filled with thrills , action , adventure , wit and bits of funny ( dare i say , monkey ) business . 
i know , i know , i promised . 
and for those film buffs who are fond of the original , burton's version includes a couple tips of the hat to that movie . 
mark wahlberg stars as capt . leo davidson , a deep-space pilot whose ship gets drawn into a magnetic field and hurled into the future . 
he crash lands on a planet where apes are the dominant species and humans are hunted , captured and sold into slavery . 
despite being darker than the original , burton's film is not as heavy handed nor as sanctimonious . 
some of the movie's flashes of humor are surreal as well as typically burton : an organ-grinder ape with a midget or an elderly ape taking off a wig and removing false teeth as he prepares for bed . 
then there are the parents who buy a little girl as a pet for there young daughter . 
the seller advises the parents to get rid of the girl before she reaches puberty : "" one thing you don't want in your house is a human teen-ager , "" he says . 
you don't have to be an ape to realize the truth in that statement . 
touches such as these are what stamps this movie with burton's brand . 
lines that hearken back to the original movie are sprinkled throughout : the first words spoken by an ape to davidson as the astronaut is regaining consciousness and grabs the simian's foot to try righting himself are : "" take your stinking hand off of me , you damned , dirty human . "" 
anyone familiar with the first version of the film will , of course , recognize the irony in that piece of dialogue . 
another of burton's in-jokes is to have charlton heston , star of the original , play the chimpanzee father of tim roth's gen . thade . 
the young chimp goes to visit his dying father . 
both have one thing in common , a hatred of humans . 
with his dying breath , the elder spews out his vile : "" damn them , damn them all to hell , "" he says before expiring . 
that is the famous line heston's taylor shouted at the conclusion of the original after discovering the planet's terrible secret . 
the performances throughout are top-notch . 
wahlberg plays davidson not as some gung-ho hero , but as a confused and somewhat frightened explorer who only wants to return home . 
he is reluctant to lead the human rebellion ; his only objective being to find a way off this upside-down planet . 
this hesitation is what makes his character believable and vulnerable . 
roth is ferocious , cunning , cruel and savage as the fascist chimp who wants to rid his planet of all vestiges of humanity . 
he leaps and bounds as if he had springs on his feet . 
it is a masterful turn . 
helena bonham carter is ari , the chimp who believes that apes and humans can live in peace and as equals . 
hers is a smart , compassionate characterization . 
michael clarke duncan is big and brutal as attar the gorilla aid to thade who blindly follows his leader until his faith is shaken . 
a fine comic outing is given by paul giamatti as limbo , the ape slave trader making a living off the misery of the humans he captures . 
as the battle between apes and humans looms , the cowardly limbo pleads , "" can't we all just get along , "" echoing the words of rodney king . 
much of the success of planet of the apes goes to burton's technical crew , especially production designer rick heinrichs and the legendary rick baker who created the ape makeup . 
burton's musical collaborator , danny elfman , provides another fine score , though it is not as memorable as his work on batman or sleepy hollow . 
the movie's only letdown comes at the very end where burton tries to outshock the finale from the 1968 original . 
he comes close , but falls short . 
otherwise , planet of the apes is what a summer movie should be : an amusement park ride filled with lots of action , stunts and a few laughs . 
this is one feature in which the expectations lived up to the pre-release hype . 
"
"1","urban legend surprised me . 
based on the last few films the genre has produced ( including but not exclusive to the likes of i know what you did last summer , disturbing behavior and the disappointing halloween : h20 ) , i was positive that i was in store for another mildly entertaining but silly and ultimately boring rehash of the scream phenomena . 
thankfully , legend rose above it's soggy premise to become not only a hip , scary and stylish entertainment , but also what will probably become one of the best films of the year . 
you're all familiar with the plot ; a bunch of overly horny teenagers get systematically slaughtered by a masked maniac who's identity is not revealed until the closing moments of the film when it turns out to be , you guessed it ; everybody's favorite veteran of the whodunit flicks . . . the 
only person you didn't suspect ! 
however , just because legend doesn't really break any new ground as far as literary or even technical achievements go does not mean that it can't qualify as first-class entertainment . 
it was , believe it or not , one of the funnest times i've had at the movies all year . 
the thing is , i'm not really sure what made this particular stab ( pardon the pun ) at the genre seem so fresh and alive . 
maybe it was the above-par performances by the movie's two leads ( jared leto and "" cybil "" actress alicia witt ) . 
or , it could have been the on- target direction by jamie blanks . 
more likely , though , it was because of the inspired premise . 
i don't think i need to tell you that a killer hacking people up ala urban folklore is much more frightening than a killer fisherman . 
urban legend begins with a sequence that reminded me of the classic scream opener , not so much in plotting as in attention to detail that makes for an absolutely chilling teaser for the rest of the film . 
a pretty young coed is driving down a deserted road when ( gasp ! ) a gas problem ( hee-hee ) forces her to stop at an equally deserted gas station for a refill . 
one problem , though . 
would you want to stop at a station run by brad dourif ? 
i thought not . 
predictably , the attendant ends up coaxing her into the main building to sort out a problem with the credit card company . 
it's odd , though , when you pick up a phone to realize that nobody's on the other line . 
naturally , the potential victim escapes into her car and drives off . 
and the when we least expect it . . . whack ! ! ! 
a decapitation . 
it turns out that the creepy looking attendant was just trying to warn her about the maniac in the back seat of the car . 
so who is it this time ? 
the obvious candidate is the slightly off-kilter professor at the college the girl went to ( none other than freddy kruger himself , robert englund ) , who teaches a class on urban legends . 
a-ha . 
or could it be the fame-hungry local journalist ( leto ) looking for a meaty story to put on his resume ? 
like all movies of this nature , one of the chief pleasures is trying to guess whodunit . 
and it turns out to be , of course , the one you didn't suspect . 
i'm not going to pretend urban legend is anything more than it is , but i must give credit where credit is due . 
and this flick definitely deserves credit for being what not many other recent horror films have been . . . fun . 
 * complimentary movie ticket courtesy of valley cinemas in lodi , ca 
"
"1","capsule : the verma family is having a wedding and all the relatives will come for the multi-day festivities . 
mira nair's film is pleasant enough with a little human drama , a few family secrets , some sadness and some happiness . 
you have seen it all before , but perhaps not from india . 
the photography is colorful and the music is very agreeable . 
 , low +2 ( -4 to +4 ) 
mira nair previously directed salaam bombay and mississippi masala . 
her newest film , written by sabrina dhawan , is very similar to previous films like betsy's wedding but it is set in new delhi . 
a wealthy family is having a wedding . 
an indian wedding is a multi-day affair as much a family reunion as a nuptial . 
even more than in the us , it is an excuse for a lavish and extravagant family get-together . 
the film shows us what the family does together and at the same time follows several family members' individual story lines . 
aditi verma is marrying hemant , an indian engineer working in the us . 
she had previously had a relationship with vikram , her supervisor . 
latit , her father ( played by naseeruddin shah ) , is juggling many problems , not the least of which is worrying about the caterer has hired pk dubey . 
dubey is a rather eccentric man with a taste for eating the marigolds he uses for decoration . 
even dubey will soon be romantically entangled when he becomes interested in alice , one of the family servants . 
several family members arrive giving rise to several plotlines involving sex , family secrets , or both . 
there are heartbreaks and there are people falling in love . 
some of the subjects covered are probably near taboo for indian films . 
western audiences will appreciate a look at unfamiliar indian customs like women painting their hands with henna . 
on the other hand it was not clear ( to me at least ) if scenes like the family singing together are typical of indian culture or if they are a convention of indian musical films . 
this seems a particularly westernized family with the father wearing american designer sweaters and the family speaking mostly english . 
the latter will , however , help with an international release . 
sabrina dhawan's screenplay is vibrant with witty dialog . 
we have seen films with plotting very much like this , but the indian setting makes a great deal of difference . 
director mira nair calls the film an affirmation of life . 
i rate it a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low +2 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"1","the love for family is one of the strongest driving forces in any man's life , especially for those who have fostered their family under precarious circumstances . 
thematically in cinema , love for family has been used frequently and emphatically to highlight more abstract aspects of characters ; it is rare , however , for it to develop as outstandingly as it does in roberto benigni's neo-classic drama , life is beautiful . 
through a central cast of father , mother , and son , benigni demonstrates the wonderful , undying love that a family shares in the best of times and the worst of times . 
life * is * beautiful for guido orefice ( roberto benigni , directing himself here for the sixth time in his career ) , an italian jew , master con man , and aspiring waiter extraordinaire . 
living in 1930's italy , he lives a carefree life of good fortune ; it is made even better when he happens upon a pretty schoolteacher named dora ( nicoletta braschi ) . 
although dora is already engaged , guido manages to sweep her off her feet and persuades her to marry him instead ; the two have a child named joshua ( giorgio cantarini ) . 
unfortunately for the happy family , the third reich and its nazi minions occupy italy and imprison all jews in work camps . 
it is after the movie takes this dramatic turn that the movie's theme of family love becomes the strongest . 
although prior to this turning point benigni plays guido with a sort of goofy charm , he relaxes the role to ensure his son's happiness . 
now , instead of awkwardly seducing the sweet dora , he constantly reassures his son that everything will be all right . 
benigni's performance is truly a well-rounded one , and certainly one of the more fluid turns all year . 
the supports are all strong as well , but the movie truly excels in its script . 
life is beautiful is a self-proclaimed fable , one which tells its story in grand , two-part fashion . 
in certain parts it manages to sink to the level of a "" saturday night live "" spinoff -- a number of humorous skits connected by a token plot -- but in the movie's second half the script's circular nature becomes admirably obvious . 
characters make reprise appearances in fine form , and certain events which are intially curious become critically linked to the plot's outcome . 
in all , fans of foreign film will see this as a memorable motion picture , and novice movie-watchers may take this opportunity to see their first "" artsy "" film . 
life is beautiful is an artsy movie by convention but easily accessible to everyone , and above all is a fine thematic picture . 
"
"1","while watching wes anderson's rushmore , it may be surprising to think that the role of max fischer , the film's anti-hero , was not written with jason schwartzman in mind . 
the young actor , making his film debut as a 15 year old student at the exclusive rushmore academy is so perfect in the role that it comes as a shock that anderson auditioned some two thousand other prospective stars before discovering schwarztman . 
schwartzman plays max , a student who is more interested in his extra-curricular activities ( such as writing edgy plays like "" serpico "" and being president of the rushmore beekeepers ) but sees his grades suffer as a result . 
on the brink of being thrown out , he lands himself in even more hot water when he falls for first grade teacher rosemary cross ( olivia williams ) and enlists the help of millionaire acquaintance herman blume ( the great bill murray ) to build an aquarium ( on rushmore's baseball field ) in her honour . 
unfortunately for everyone involved , blume finds that he has feelings for miss cross as well , which gets in the way of max's plans to woo her . 
max is one of the best-written characters we've yet seen in the 90s , and schwartzman plays him to perfection in one of the finest comedy performances ever given by someone of his age . 
as everyone else has probably already pointed out , he is reminiscent of a young dustin hoffman ( although i was reminded more of paul from "" the wonder years "" , from a visual standpoint , at least ) . 
hopefully , if he avoids typecasting as weird , quirky loner-types he should earn himself a good career . 
bill murray is his equal as blume , displaying a depth we haven't yet seen from him . 
while this isn't his best performance ( that honour goes to groundhog day ) he is still terrific here . 
williams isn't given much to do except react to schwartzman and murray , but still does fine work . 
rushmore seems to go just a little too long but , while it isn't a perfect film , it is a definate must-see for anyone who wants to see that rarity , an american coming-of-age film that actually works well without an excessive amount of sentimentality . 
anderson has created a modern classic with a star who should , with any luck , rise to even greater success . 
"
"1","no , i did not read the novel by thomas hardy , "" jude the obscure , "" his final novel ( final because this film created such an outrage that he never wrote again - see : i did do some research on it ) about a man who is plagued with bad luck throughout his entire life . 
but , after watching the movie , i can imagine how incredibly depressing it is . 
 "" jude "" is a satirical film from start to finish about society's way of spitting out and chewing up those unwanted in its system , but what's remarkable is how timeless this film is . 
the film takes place in the late 19th century ( or early 20th - wasn't really sure ) , but its story could even be retold today in modern form , although it'd be kinda different ( a given ) . 
it tells the story of jude ( christopher eccleston - the psychotic accountant from "" shallow grave "" ) - a simple , dim-witted young man with big dreams . 
in its bleak , foreboding opening , shot in grainy black and white , he gets a lesson from phillotson ( liam cunningham ) , his teacher : as they stand upon a mountain , looking upon a city in the distance , he says all you have to do is work hard and you can have anything in the world . 
after marrying and divorcing an immature woman named arabella ( rachel griffiths ) because they frolicked in the hay ( literally ) but did not ultimately share anything in common , he moves away to a town with a giant university , with a chance to learn more , and get ahead in life . 
taking a welding job , he works hard while studying constantly for his college bars , reciting latin over and over again , and training himself . 
but when he sends his application for the school in , he is bluntly told to just remain a worker . 
another reason for going to this town was because someone in his family lives there : sue ( kate winslet ) , his cousin and a very intelligent but kinda mischevious young woman who wants to be a school teacher . 
she and jude click eventually and become very endearing friends , so much that when she spends the night at his flat after running from her apprentice teacher job ( for none other than phillotson at the local school ) , there are rumors that she and jude did some nasty business ( nudge nudge ) . 
several twists turn in the storyline , and eventually jude and sue do do some nasty business ( an interesting scene , to say the least . . . ) , and are soon born into a controversial non-wedlock , as she eventually gives birth to their baby , and jude inherits his son from arabella , who turns up again after awhile . 
because they aren't married , and because they're cousins , they run into problems with every place they go to , carrying around two children everywhere , and only staying in lodges for a very brief period of time , then moving on . 
if you didn't think this was harsh enough , wait till you see what happens later on . . . 
the sad truth is that jude is one of the miserable people who can never get any luck in this world . 
he will never gain any true happiness , and any happiness that happens to him will be fleeting , and will probably bring more horrible instances to his life . 
part of it is his fault - he's too optimistic , and too gullible . 
but society has a way of taking these people , and hurting them until their death . 
the ending of "" jude "" is bleak because it has to be ( although i hear the ending of the novel is even worse - guess i'll have to read it now ) . 
 "" jude "" offers a satirical view on society's cruelties , but shows no way of curing this , and thank heavens it doesn't . 
there's no way to relinquish the selfishness of society , and any solution would be too small to cure such a mass problem . 
satire has always been one of the few ways of changing certain people's minds , and that's what "" jude "" is . 
sure , it's one hell of a downer , but it needs to be . 
the film also posesses two fantastic performances from its two leads , and some good supporting work along with it . 
christopher eccleston ( slightly resembling richard edson with his new look and dumb expression ) plays jude wonderfully , sometimes bringing a big dumb smile to his face , and making him kind of child-like at other times . 
kate winslet , in a pre- "" titanic "" performance , is brilliant , nailing every psyche of her character , and creating someone who's troubled but very seductive with her personality . 
kate may be the best actress in her age group ( if you don't believe me , see "" titanic , "" branagh's "" hamlet , "" "" sense and sensibility , "" and "" heavenly creatures , "" the latter one being my favorite performance of hers ) . 
in the supporting roles , liam cunningham is a wonderfully flawed teacher , exposing all his bad parts , but ultimately being a pretty good person ; and rachel griffiths is wonderfully immature as jude's wife , whom he never divorces . 
 "" jude "" moves at a very slow pace , and keeps taunting its viewers with chances of happiness for its protagonists , which would drive some people nuts . 
but those who appreciate good social commentary with their films , no matter how slow or downright depressing they are ( this one is both ) will appreciate "" jude , "" though i doubt anyone truly enjoys it . 
"
"1","quaid stars as a man who has taken up the proffesion of dragonslayer after he feels he is betrayed by a dragon early in the movie . 
he runs into the last dragon in existence , and there is a genuinely amusing battle between the two which results in a standoff where quaid is in the dragons mouth , but has his sword pointed at the dragons brain . 
eventually , they decide to call a truce , and they work out a deal . 
since he is the last dragon , he will pretend to die and quaid will be able to get paid for it . 
their scam works at first , until they come to a town without any money . 
instead the town sacrifices a girl to the dragon , but of course , draco is a nice droagon , so he won't eat her . there is however a very amusing scene where draco is hitting on the young girl . 
of course , as you can probably tell by the plot , this is a silly movie , but it does know when to take itself seriously at the right times , unlike eddie , which was serious all the time . 
you could probably call this a medieval comedy , because there are more laughs here than in eddie and spy hard combined . 
dennis quaid makes a fine hero . 
pete posthlewaite provides some ghreat comedy as a monk who journeys with them . 
dina meyer is appealing as the sacrificed girl . 
but lets face it , the movie is really about the dragon , and what an amazing creation he is . 
connery's voice and ilm team up to provide us with a truly magnificent dragon . 
so , if you are going to see this movie for a strong hard core medieval epic , you are going to the wrong movie . 
if you are going because of the dragon , you will not be dissapointed , and you will be provided with plenty of laughs that smooth out the boring parts in the script . 
"
"1","it has been 20 years since a terrence malick film hit theaters . 
his new film , the thin red line , is a strange , beautiful , enigmatic mess of a movie . 
the first thing that jumps out to one when they see the advertisements for this film is the huge cast . 
it is filled with above-the-title stars . 
the cast , for the most part , gives great performances . 
john travolta , whose role is nothing more than a cameo , seems not to have attacked his performance with that much verve . 
george clooney , whose role became a cameo in editing , gives a strange performance . 
one wonders if he knew that his performance would become the object of ridicule through a character's narration . 
the rest of the cast , especially nick nolte and elias koteas , are unambiguously fantastic . 
these actors ( and they are , with two exceptions , men ) were lured by the name of malick . 
terrence malick is a cinematic legend . 
he has often been called "" the j . d . salinger of cinema . "" 
his two previous films , badlands and days of heaven , are spectacularly beautiful and obscure motion pictures . 
after he made them , he disappeared for 20 years . 
this film marks his return . 
what he's made with the thin red line is a film that seems less concerned with plot than with the emotion of the moment . 
the narration which fills the film ( and perplexes many ) not only lets us hear the narrators ( the characters themselves ) pontificate , but also lets us hear such of-the-moment thoughts as "" i'm scared . "" 
the rather simple plot of the thin red line is used as a canvas on which many stories are painted . 
the plot couldly simply be boiled down to an assault on a hill . 
a plot synopsis for the thin red line is difficult , because the story is fractured . 
many stories are here , from the clash between the lieutenant ( elias koteas ) and the savage colonel ( a voracious nick nolte ) to the private ( ben chaplin ) who uses his love for the woman he left behind to keep him going . 
the fracturing of the story is ultimately a fault . 
it is as if an artist spent an incredible amount of time artfully sculpting tiny statues and then threw them into a box , shook the box , and poured the results onto a table . 
this basically creates a mess , but the stories can be discerned and enjoyed . 
i'm not declaring that the film has no structure . 
while saving private ryan used warfare to bookend the plot , malick uses reflection and glorious shots of nature to bookend about 90 minutes of combat . 
the battles in the thin red line are astonishing and display a mastery of filmmaking . 
the astounding cinematography in this film must also be given notice . 
this film uses color and light in such a fantastic way , that it will be sad to see it degraded when it has to bee transferred to video . 
ultimately , malick has crafted a film that is a movie that enjoys looking through the treetops more than regarding the war that rages below them . 
the film is filled with nature photography and the regarding of nature . 
while some have said that the anti-war message and pro-nature tubthumping was juvenile , it was done with so much complexity and thought , that it cannot ever honestly be called childish . 
after seeing the thin red line , i was haunted by it and am quite ready to see it again . 
"
"1"," "" stuart little "" is one of the best family films to come out this year . 
it's a cute , funny and very good-natured film that has nothing for parents to squirm over except a few mild cusswords . 
though i read the book a long time ago and i really do not remember what it was about , i do know that this film does not disappoint . 
finally a movie gets released that is as good as the trailer makes it to be , with a few surprising twists , some very funny moments , and a few sentimental moments all mixed in to one great little movie . 
stuart little is a mouse . 
he has finally gotten a new home after being put up for adoption , he now lives with the littles . 
a nice little ( no pun intended ) family that lives in their apartment next to central park in new york city . 
they have a little boy george ( played by the adorable jonathan lipnicki ) and now they have a new son . 
at first stuart takes a while but he finally adjusts to being part of the family and even getting along with the pet cat . 
george doesn't take too well to having a mouse for a brother at first , but once the two play together they instantly bond . 
stuart however is missing something , and he wants to know who his real parents are . 
the littles try and find his parents and one day they show up on the doorstep wanting stuart back . 
hesitating the littles know what's best for stuart and so does snowball the pet cat , he and his friends try to get stuart but in the end we find out the truth about stuart's past ending up to a sentimental and very heart-warming ending . 
one thing i noticed about the film instantly was the fantastic special effects . 
just like in "" star wars : episode 1--the phantom menace "" stuart little and his family are all computer generated and they look fantastically real . 
from the detail of their fur , to the detail of the way the walk ; the special effects team put a lot of time and effort on this $90 million dollar film and it shows . 
another movie that this has in common with is "" babe "" with it's talking animals and people understanding them . 
it has a family friendly atmosphere and is never really scary or suspenseful enough to even scare the youngest of kids . 
michael j . fox does the voice of stuart himself and just like in the "" homeward bound "" movies does a fantastic job and brings more out of stuart than anyone else could . 
he to me fits the character perfectly and ends up making stuart even more lovable . 
another gem of the film is nathan lane as snowball . 
when he was timon in 1994's "" the lion king "" i would have sworn he was a comedian , and now in "" stuart little "" he brings the most out of snowball and makes him one of those characters we love to dislike . 
for the human actors geena davis who never gives a bad performance does not disappoint here as well . 
she fits nicely in her character and there is a good chemistry between her and hugh laurie who plays mr . little . 
both make us believe they are happily in love and married and jonathan lipnicki as their song is even more adorable than he was in 1996's "" jerry maguire "" . 
even though stuart little is completely cgi , the human characters and stuart have a nice chemistry together and even makes us believe they really do care for each other . 
 "" stuart little "" is ideal family entertainment for this holiday season and will not disappoint youngsters or adults for that matter . 
we get entertainment , laughs , cries and more fun at the movies this season than probably any other movie . 
its nice to see a pg rated movie out at christmas that everyone can see . 
even though it has a $90 million dollar budget i'm sure it will make over that or just below it respectively . 
for all you parents out there trying to find a good family movie , i have yet to see bicentennial man as i write this but as far as i know "" stuart little "" and "" toy story 2 "" are by far the best family films this year . 
a winner . ? 
"
"1","as with his other stateside releases , jackie chan's latest chopsocky vehicle , mr . nice guy , is contrived , blockheaded , and lacking in narrative logic . 
but also like those other films , it is a highly enjoyable ride . 
once again , chan's screenwriters ( here edward tang and fibe ma ) have taken the easy way out and named their star's character simply jackie , with no last name . 
this jackie is a world-class chef who co-hosts a popular cooking show on australian television . 
of course , jackie also happens to be a talented martial artist , and these skills come in handy when he becomes involved in an ambitious reporter's ( gabrielle fitzpatrick ) expose of a drug dealing ring . 
other plot details , involving a videotape and a biker gang , are irrelevant ; in fact , as is the case with most chan films , the plot itself is just about irrelevant . 
the sole purpose of mr . nice guy's existence are chan's comic fight scenes , and those here do not disappoint . 
director samo hung ( who has a cameo role ) , a longtime collaborator of chan's , does not waste any time putting chan in action , diving head-on into a wild chase/fight/shootout after a brief cooking show prologue . 
other impressive set pieces follow , most notably a chase in a mall , which directly leads to some frenzied , if cliched ( can you say fruit cart ? ) , business involving a runaway carriage ; and an extended late-film sequence at a construction site , in which a hilarious pursuit through a maze of blue doors culminates in some exciting fights involving boards , cement mixers , and a deadly buzzsaw . 
none of the action sequences in mr . nice guy are as spectacular as supercop's thrilling helicopter-train finale or rumble in the bronx's daring leap between two buildings ; nor is anything as inventive as the ladder fight or air tunnel climax in first strike and operation condor , respectively . 
but the action delivers , even if the energy peters out before the film's end ( the finale , as spectacular as it is , is a letdown for fans of chan's athletic prowess ) . 
filmed almost entirely in english ( even so , the voices of some english-speaking actors are laughably dubbed ) , mr . nice guy hints at jackie chan's latest transition to hollywood productions ( he made ill-fated attempts with 1980's the big brawl and 1985's the protector ) ; next in the pipeline is rush hour , a stateside production co-starring chris tucker . 
hopefully that film will be a mere diversion in tinseltown , and chan will continue with exuberant hong kong productions such as mr . nice guy , for his unique charm and reckless abandon are sure to be diluted by american hands , much like they have been before . 
"
"1","the premise of wag the dog is so simple that it's adequately explained by the commercials . 
with 11 days to go until the election , the president ( who we never see ) calls in political dirty-tricks artist robert deniro to distract attention from a burgeoning sex scandal . 
deniro enlists hollywood producer dustin hoffman to produce a "" pageant "" , a phony war against albania , fought on the blue screens of hollywood and the recording studios of nashville , with woody harrelson as the reluctant , psychotic hero . 
and if there wasn't anything more to the movie than this , it would be a second-rate heist comedy at best , enlivened by great actors -- like sneakers goes to washington . 
 ( a heist comedy ? 
yup . 
deniro and hoffman are "" stealing "" the election , so to speak , and the movie is more about how they do it -- and the fun they have doing it -- than anything else . ) 
wag the dog succeeds because it's based one great truth : the american people are stupid . 
ok , maybe it's not "" love thy neighbor as thyself "" or even "" two plus two makes four "" , but a truth nonetheless . 
 ( any average person who thinks that they're really smart about the two things this movie satirizes -- moviemaking and the political process -- is invited , nay , challenged , to spend a week either watching a movie actually being made or 48 hours straight watching c-span when the house is in session . ) 
and because we're so utterly , predictably stupid , hollywood knows that a certain percentage of us will go see hard rain or magoo , washington knows that we won't notice a few million dollars spent here and there on porno art grants and cigar subsidies -- and deniro's character knows that american geography skills are so weak that we won't be able to locate albania on the map . 
the beauty of wag the dog is that it isn't a light , meaningless comedy about politics ( like speechless , the michael keaton - geena davis picture ) or from the level of light-hearted politcal satire to near-greatness . 
nor is it a hard-edged cynical look at the manner in which a morally-deprived , ethically challenged baby-boomer connives his sleazy way into the white house ( like primary colors -- and yes , i am a little disappointed in the way the last two elections turned out , thanks for asking ) . 
instead , david mamet's script strikes that delicate balance between comedy and cynicism needed for satire . 
it does this by keeping us in a fantasy world where most of the schemers' schemes come off beautifully , and fail only in entertaining and humorous fashion . 
deniro is playing a variation on his al capone character from the untouchables , without any of the violent rages . 
it's all : "" what do i love ? 
what is it that brings me joy ? 
baseball , "" minus the savage bloody beating with the bat . 
he threatens a lot of people , mind you , but he's doing it in a very nice , polite way . 
it's a very mellow , restrained performance , which fits in with the air of gamesmanship in the script . 
hoffman , on the other hand , is giddy , exuberant and joyous . 
this kind of thing is what his character lives for , and he's so excited that he can't even shut up . 
even on the edge of disaster , he's bright-eyed ( behind oddly tinted sunglasses ) and positive . 
insiders note that he's basing his character on some powerful-but-anonymous producer -- which may or may not be true , but hoffman still exudes the kind of lets-put-on-a-show electricity that you figure a producer needs to have . 
the best part and the most frustrating part of wag the dog is in the supporting cast . 
the characters are so well drawn and so well acted that we want to see more of them , listen to them talk in that wised-up mamet dialogue , get to know them better -- which we don't . 
anne heche , is dead-bang-on in her portrayal of a political press aide -- cool and composed on the outside , panicked and frenzied on the outside . 
denis leary ( one of my favorite actors -- see the ref ) is the "" fad king "" , who handles the profitable "" back-end "" -- t-shirt tie ins and shoe contracts and other creative , innovative ways to separate a fool from his money . 
they could make a whole movie , just about the fad king , and i'd go see it . 
willie nelson and merle haggard handle the musical end of things fabulously , from the upbeat gospel chorus theme song , to the weepy country waltz , to the hilarious "" ballad of the green berets "" parody . 
woody harrelson has a brief , but memorable part as the overmedicated "" hero "" of the albanian conflict . 
craig t . nelson , as the opposition candidate , and the ever-reliable william h . macy , as a wacky cia agent , are given surprisingly short shrift . 
 ( one of my small gripes is that we never see what the spin doctors on the other side are doing . ) 
wag the dog is a funny movie about serious problems : the trivialization of american politics , the role of the press in dumbing down the issues , the impact of hollywood in creating campaign commercials , the reduction of all things political to soundbites and sidebars -- the list goes on . 
we can solve most of these problems by taking a greater role in our national life and educating ourselves as voters and citizens . 
wag the dog reminds us of what can happen if we don't . 
"
"1","as the film opens up , expectant unwed mother sally ( played by drew barrymore ) encounters her baby's father in a fast food drive-through window . 
after he gets his milkshake , he drives off , only to be pursued by a military helicopter . 
from this moment forward , you know that this isn't going to be your run-of-the-mill romantic comedy . 
home fries tells the tale of the relationship between sally and dorian ( played by luke wilson ) , a helicopter pilot who has a different kind of connection with sally . . . more 
than he would care to admit ( hint : it has something to do with the father of sally's unborn child ) . 
after taking a personal ( and professional ) interest in her , he finds work at the local fast food restaurant at which she works , and the fun goes on from there . 
this movie is a lot of fun . 
it is comedic on two levels , as a romantic comedy and a dark comedy . 
the romantic moments are sweet , yet not sappy . 
one of the more poignant moments is when dorian accompanies sally to lamaze classes . 
however , the dark comedic moments are more memorable . 
this is also a tale of revenge , and a funny one at that . 
the father of sally's unborn child also happened to be a married man , whose wife is played by catherine o'hara . 
she does a wonderful portrayal of a jealous wife who is targeting the person who had an affair , and is not above getting other people to do her dirty work . 
 ( my apologies if this sounds cryptic , but there is too much of the plot to give away ) . 
rounding out the cast are jake busey as angus , dorian's overzealous brother and daryl mitchell as roy , dorian's trainer at the fast food restaurant . 
the dialogue is sharp and not filled with sappy overtones , even with the romantic nature of the plot . 
if there are any complaints , it is over drew barrymore's performance . 
while she does light up the screen , there are moments when she doesn't seem all that convincing . 
the movie was filmed in texas , and most of the characters have southern texan accents . 
drew barrymore's accent tends to come and go ( luke wilson doesn't seem to have this problem ) . 
as well , she seems awfully agile for a woman that is eight months pregnant . 
still , this movie is one that will please many viewers . 
with plot twists galore and hilarious dark moments , this is sure to entertain . 
"
"1","the second jackal-based film to come out in 1997 ( the other starring bruce willis was simply entitled the jackal ) , this one stars aidan quinn and donald sutherland , and is directed by a man who hailed from joblo's own alma matter , concordia university in montreal , canada . 
the story is based on the exploits of the real terrorist known as the jackal , but does not pretend to be 100% factual . 
plot : naval officer ramirez ( quinn ) gets called upon by the cia to impersonate the international terrorist known as the jackal , in order to put an end to the actual militant's radical activities . 
he is chosen for this role because he physically resembles the real terrorist to a tee . 
ramirez reluctantly agrees to take part in this "" assignment "" , and soon finds himself wrapped up in a true web of international terrorism , intrigue and double-personality syndrome ( which does not sit well with his uninformed wife and kids back in the states . ) 
critique : great premise is executed with enough style and thrills to keep the piece interesting throughout its close to two-hour runtime . 
admittedly , i wasn't a huge fan of any of the main actors in this film , and didn't expect much from this movie beforehand , but surprisingly it did have its thrilling moments , as well as a mostly plausible and absorbing story line . 
the first hour is mostly just a build-up of things to come , and does offer a great characterization of the jackal , but the second hour is the one that really cranks in the cool scenes and a sweet ending . 
quinn was adequate in both roles as naval officer ramirez and the real jackal , but didn't offer anything extraordinary , in my opinion . 
sutherland and kingsley seem to be playing the same role that they've played in both of their respective careers of late , but nonetheless , appeared to relish the cold-heartedness of their chosen characters . 
i didn't like performance put forth from quinn's wife in this flick , but then again , she doesn't show up in most of the film , so that wasn't so bad . 
i did however enjoy director duguay's interesting style and cinematic vision . 
this thriller could easily have been boring during many sequences , but duguay always seemed to find something interesting to show the viewer . 
i thought that was neat . 
having said that , i didn't think the first hour needed to be as long as it was , and the film did have me tinkering on the bridge of believability when the "" fake "" jackal met with the "" real "" jackal's girlfriend without much retrospection on her part , but all in all , not too many complaints in a movie that could easily be enjoyed by all those who take pleasure in the spy and terrorist thriller genre . 
little known facts : ben kingsley's real name is krishna banji , he stands 5 "" 8 , was born in scarborough , england , and won the best actor honor in 1982's academy awards presentation for the title role he portrayed in ghandi . 
many scenes from this film were actually shot in montreal , canada ( joblo's haven of restfulness ) . 
donald sutherland has fathered actor kiefer sutherland , is canadian , and apparently still owns a place in the north of montreal . 
"
"1","one of the last entries in the long-running carry on series , carry on behind is very similar to carry on camping in that it involves a group of holidaymakers descending on a 'caravan' site . 
professors anna vrooshka ( elke sommer ) and roland crump ( kenneth williams ) and a group of archaeology students stay in the caravan site owned by major leep ( kenneth connor ) so that they can explore the nearby roman settlement remains . 
anna has a little trouble understanding english and sometimes people get the wrong end of the stick : - for instance , when anna is asking for 'scrubbers for dirty caravan' , she means that she wants a scrubbing brush to clean the caravan ! 
arthur upmore ( bernard bresslaw ) and his wife linda ( patsy rowlands ) take her mother daphne barnes ( joan sims ) and her minah bird on holiday with them . 
mother-in-law jokes prevail . 
furthermore , the trouble that joe and norma baxter ( ian lavender and adrienne posta ) have with their large irish greyhound allows for some comical moments between the two families . 
fred ramsden ( windsor davies ) and ernie bragg ( jack douglas ) leave their wives ( liz fraser and patricia franklin ) behind for a fishing holiday . 
however , they have more in mind than fishing when they catch sight of two young girls , sandra ( carol hawkins ) and carol ( sherrie hewson ) . 
the story involves the disruption caused by the archaeological professors of the day-to-day running of the camp , the search for the minah bid and greyhound , the major , fred and ernie's desperate need of a woman , a misunderstanding leading to a striptease at the caravan park's pub , and a shock in store for daphne . 
the partnership between sommer and williams is very effective and amusing . 
this is what binds the movie together . 
joan sims stands out as the demanding mother-in-law , bernard bresslaw and patsy rowlands work well together as husband and wife , and carol hawkins and sherrie hewson are a welcome addition to the cast . 
on the other hand , there are low-key performances from kenneth connor and peter butterworth as barnes the handyman , and there are very poor performances by windsor davies and jack douglas who spend far too much time on the screen ! 
even though there is no real plot to speak of and the jokes are getting bluer due to the new scriptwriter dave freeman , there are enough truly comical moments and bright and breezy performances to lift this carry on above many of its predecessors . 
although the regular cast is depleted , the ones that remain show that they can still make a good carry on film . 
a relative flop at the cinema , this movie deserves a lot more recognition . 
"
"1","the cryptic teaser trailer has been unspooling in moviehouses for quite sometime now : "" it mu5t be found . "" 
so what , exactly , is the fifth element ? 
after seeing luc besson's ambitious , much-shrouded-in-secrecy science fiction fantasy , i could not help but be let down by the actual answer , which is not nearly as exciting nor clever as one would think . 
but what is far from a letdown is the film as a whole , a wildly imaginative feast for the senses that does what all the best science fiction films do--create a universe unlike any other presented on the silver screen . 
the biggest irony of the fifth element is that the one thing that has been kept under such tight wraps--the actual storyline--is the most conventional , dismayingly so , element ( pun intended ) of the film . 
speaking in the vaguest possible terms , the basics of the plot are as follows : in the year 2259 , a great force of evil threatens to consume the earth , and only the four elements--earth , wind , fire , and water--united with a fifth element can stop it . 
figuring into all of this are new york cabbie korben dallas ( bruce willis ) ; a shady , southern-drawling entrepreneur by the name of zorg ( the hilariously hammy gary oldman , picking up where he left off in besson's the professional ) ; a priest ( ian holm ) ; and a mysterious creature named leeloo ( milla jovovich ) . 
all of the pieces come together in a tidy and somewhat underwhelming--and unsurprising--fashion , but there is no denying that this basic story holds some intrinsic interest . 
what remains interesting and exciting , however , after brief glimpses is the fascinating world besson has created with production designer dan weil , director of photography thierry arbogast , visual effects supervisor mark stetson , and the crew at digital domain . 
the look is absolutely mesmerizing right from the opening moments to the last . 
the frenzied cityscape of new york , with its vibrant day-glo colors , tall buildings penetrating high into the clouds , and the swarm of cars , cabs , and other vehicles flying through labyrinthian skyways , is absolutely breathtaking to behold , especially in a wild car chase sequence early on in the film . 
but it would not have been a completely captivating vision if the people inhabiting the settings weren't equally as interesting , and are they ever . 
in addition to the exotic menagerie of alien creatures that populate this world , from bulky robots to dog-like mangalores , the humans are outfitted in costumes by eccentric designer jean-paul gaulthier , best known for creating madonna's pointy bustier get-up in her blonde ambition tour . 
gaulthier's outlandish creations , such as a number worn by leeloo made entirely out of white straps , feel more at home in besson's futuristic vision than on any fashion runway in the world ; they add to the sense of otherworldliness about the film . 
while besson's bold vision is the biggest virtue of the film , it also could be its biggest obstacle to reaching a mass audience . 
for all its imagination , certain things about the film may be a bit too quirky and bizarre . 
i really do not know what middle america will make of the most outrageous character of the film , ruby rhod ( chris tucker ) , a flamboyant disc jockey who makes dennis rodman look conservative--he makes a raucous entrance dressed in an animal print dress , sporting a blonde hairdo in the shape of a hair dryer , speaking in high pitches at rapid fire speed . 
at first this character's hyper energy is funny , but the act wears out its welcome very quickly . 
not irritating , but just as strange , is a musical number by blue-skinned alien chanteuse diva ( maiwenn lebesco ) , who sings--and dances--an aria that is an unlikely blend of classical opera and techno . 
the tune , as with the entirety of longtime besson collaborator eric serra's innovative score , is haunting , but it is also completely jarring . 
then there are the campy touches of humor besson and co-scripter robert mark kamen sprinkle throughout , which too often are silly and forced ; a comic sexual encounter between ruby rhod and a flight attendant is highly distracting and not very funny , to boot . 
the story's weakness shines through in the climax and conclusion of the fifth element . 
while still visually and aurally spectacular , the events detailed are not as exciting nor powerful as they should be . 
the big , serious dramatic climax was met with more than a few snickers , and it ambitiously strives for a profundity which the film had not even begun to work toward . 
as such , at the end there is a sense that there was something bigger at work here , that there was still more left to be said about this story and these characters . 
this suspicion was confirmed by besson himself , who told me in the lobby following the screening ( imagine that , the filmmaker watching the film with the "" enemy "" --the critics ) that what had made it to the screen was really just the first half of the lengthy original fifth element screenplay and that the second half--now titled mr . shadow--is still waiting to be made . 
still , despite the story problems , the fifth element is an artistic triumph for luc besson ; rarely does a filmmaker's original vision come to the screen in all its audacious , undiluted glory . 
it is a fascinating example of how of one artist's fervid imagination can transport an audience into an intoxicating fantasy world generally seen only in dreams . 
"
"1"," "" very bad things , "" is the most delightfully morbid film of the year , a movie that goes so far over the deep end with its outrageousness and violence that i couldn't help but be won over by the material . 
the film starts off with five friends leaving their homes in los angeles for a bachelor party in las vegas . 
the groom-to-be is kyle fisher ( jon favreau ) , who is about to be married to the controlling , wedding-obsessed laura ( cameron diaz ) . 
the other friends are real estate agent robert boyd ( christian slater ) , quiet charles ( leland orser ) , and brothers , michael ( jeremy piven ) and family man adam ( daniel stern ) . 
after a wild night of gambling , boozing , and drugs , a stripper ( carla scott ) who was paid for by robert comes into their hotel room , but after a freak accident , to everyone's terror , she is killed . 
as robert puts it : "" there are two options : go to the police and go to prison , or bury her out in the desert where no one will ever find her . "" 
after a security guard enters into the hotel room unexpectantly and sees the body , robert is forced to kill him as well . 
 "" okay , there is only one option now . 
you can forget about calling the police , "" he says . 
by the time the five friends return home and as the wedding draws nearer , most of them are overcome with guilt , which sets off an even more elaborate series of event , that includes much , much more murder , double-crosses , and the inevitable wedding from hell . 
 "" very bad things , "" which is actor peter berg's feature film directing debut , is the shockingly perverse and wicked comedy that , "" there's something about mary , "" wanted to be . 
it pulls out all the stops to create something fresh , original , and hilarious , even if that requires surprisingly graphic violence , gore , and a slew of truly hateful characters that all get what they deserve by the end . 
the screenplay , also written by berg , is , to put it mildly , very funny and courageous . 
during the second act of the film , some of the fun was beginning to slightly dwindle due to so much death , which was beginning to undermine the humor , but it eventually recouped itself with a climax that has to be seen to be believed . 
the dialogue is edgy and inventive , and this film proves that a movie doesn't necessarily require likable character to be extremely enjoyable . 
there's more fun , i think , in showing ignorable people getting their just desserts . 
cameron diaz gives her best performance to date here , and has a lot of fun in playing the hateful laura , who eventually turns out to be more crazy than any of the five male friends . 
diaz puts so much overblown energy to her character that i really do think she deserves a supporting actress oscar nomination come next january . 
by the time she is beating someone to death with a coat hanger , and reciting lines like , "" stuff him in the crapper and get your ass upstairs , "" i couldn't help but crack up at how "" balls-to-the-wall "" this film had become . 
jeanne tripplehorn creates another character original , as daniel stern's wife , who late in the picture , we discover , is a tough kick-boxer that should not be messed around with . 
it is at this level that , "" very bad things , "" was so entertaining and surprising . 
just when you thought you could predict what was going to happen , there would be a little twist involving the characters that would be absolutely wacky . 
the last sequence was perfect and managed to go even further over-the-top . 
although i enjoyed the film immensely , let me make this clear : "" very bad things , "" is not a movie for everyone . 
it is more tasteless than anything i have ever seen , it is more violent and bloody than a r-rated film usually is , and it is offensive . 
luckily , these are elements that i would prefer in a comedy , since it clearly shows the filmmakers were set on making a no-holds-barred , politically incorrect comedy . 
the fact that this film slipped through the cracks of the usually mainstream and "" safe "" wide-releases coming out lately , still gives me hope for the hollywood film industry . 
"
"1","it is hard to imagine that a movie which includes abortion and incest as prominent plot devices could be so sensitive , so delicate , so insightful and yes , even so enjoyable . 
somehow , the cider house rules manages to keep an even keel in the face of the harsh subject matter and allows a substantial amount of heart to shine through . 
set in the 1940's , the film tells the story of a unique young man named homer wells ( tobey maguire , ride with the devil ) . 
an orphan , twice rejected as an infant by possible adoptive parents , he grows up in the care and under the tutelage of dr . wilbur larch ( michael caine , little voice ) , father figure to the orphans of st . cloud , obstetrician or abortionist to the unhappily pregnant women who come there seeking his help . 
figuring that as long as homer was going to stay at the orphanage , he might as well be of use , dr . larch begins teaching him all he knows about obstetrics . 
soon homer is delivering babies like a professional . 
he refuses to perform abortions , instead wondering why the couples just didn't behave more responsibly . 
larch , too old and experienced to have such youthful ideals , marvels that homer "" continues to have such high expectations of people . "" 
such is the result of an insulated upbringing . 
though skilled in certain medical procedures , homer remains woefully naive and ignorant about most everything else . 
he finally figures that in order to find his place in the world , he must go out into it . 
befriending a young couple who had come to see dr . larch , he hitches a ride with them and parlays that into landing a job as an apple picker with a group of black migrant workers at the orchard where they lived . 
thus , homer begins his worldly instruction , with new friend candy kendall ( charlize theron , the astronaut's wife ) a willing tutor . 
tobey maguire is well cast yet again as an inherently good man who is seeking answers to life's questions . . . 
many of which he was unaware needed to be asked . 
he demonstrates a quiet strength and thoughtful curiosity that is both warm and appealing . 
michael caine is , in a word , brilliant as the caring caretaker of these orphans , many of whom he helped to bring into the world . 
calling them "" princes of maine , kings of new england "" in his ritualistic goodnight , mr . caine manages to communicate the love and commitment larch has towards these children without becoming maudlin or saccharine . 
delroy lindo ( a life less ordinary ) has many powerful moments as mr . rose , the strong and charismatic leader of the apple pickers whom homer joins . 
director lasse hallstrom ( what's eating gilbert grape ? ) and screenwriter/novelist john irving ( the world according to garp ) , who adapted his own work for this movie deserve much of the credit for the balanced approach to the sensitive subject matter . 
regardless of one's personal stand on the divisive matter of abortion , it is hard to imagine anyone becoming offended by the evenhanded treatment used by these filmmakers . 
the title is a reference to a list of rules posted in the quarters of the illiterate apple pickers . 
figuring the rules didn't apply to them since they didn't have a hand in writing them , they decide to ignore the list and make up their own rules as they go along . 
dr . larch , in his own way , acts similarly . 
there is a danger in that line of reasoning . 
god has also given us a set of rules . 
unlike the list posted in the cider house , god's rules , if followed , promise us benefits beyond our imagination . 
and yet , many continue to ignore his "" rules "" preferring to make up their own as they go through life . 
 "" trust in the lord with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding . "" 
proverbs 3 : 5 [kjv] 
just as a builder follows a designer's blueprint or a conductor follows a composer's score , why shouldn't we follow the rules of life given to us by life's architect for our own blessing ? 
"
"1","known as the most successful , highest-grossing romantic comedy in history , director garry marshall apparently struck gold with "" pretty woman , "" which opened quietly during the summer of 1990 but , thanks to positive word-of-mouth , was able to reach upwards of $175-million in theaters alone . 
the question of why it worked so well lies directly with the film's two charismatic stars , richard gere and julia roberts , since the story itself is none too original or even believable . 
the other winning element that makes "" pretty woman "" so entertaining is its genuine sweetness and innocence , which is rarely as palpable in today's films as it is here . 
edward lewis ( richard gere ) is a suave , extremely wealthy business mogul who , at the start of the picture , breaks up with his girlfriend over the phone after a nasty argument , and abruptly takes his friend's car and gets lost on hollywood boulevard while trying to find his hotel . 
stopping the car along the street , he asks a woman , obviously a prostitute , for directions . 
agreeing to get in his car and show him for ten bucks , edward ultimately accepts , they strike up a conversation , and before long she has been asked up to his penthouse room on the top floor . 
this meeting does not lead to sex , however , as edward confides that he'd rather just have someone to talk to , and offers her $300 to spend the night . 
just as well , since the hooker , named vivian , is a beautiful , generally upbeat young woman who is the type of person that can lend an understanding ear . 
the meeting between these two completely opposite people does not end the next morning as planned , when edward finally offers to pay vivian three-thousand dollars if she will stay with him for six days and nights while he is in the area , keeping him company and acting as his companion to business dinners and get-togethers . 
since vivian firmly tells edward at the beginning that she will do anything with him except kiss him on the lips , which always leads to unwanted intimacy when dealing with her customers , the obligatory rule of the genre says that by the third act , edward and vivian will finally , truly , kiss . 
allegedly planned as a grim , downbeat drama until garry marshall came on board as director , "" pretty woman "" has been transformed in all senses of the word into a classic fairy tale , a la "" cinderella . "" 
the premise is hardly believable and its portrait of prostitutes hanging out on the streets of hollywood boulevard is just about the most idealized portrayal that there could have possibly been . 
you honestly don't need a high-iq ( or any iq , for that matter ) to guess how the film will end , and the story is as old as my great great grandma bertha . 
the supporting characters are almost all sketchily written and less-than-gratifying , and the screenplay is no award winner . 
and yet , amidst all of these qualms and flaws , "" pretty woman "" is an astoundingly charming motion picture , and it is definately easy to see why it became such an overnight sensation with moviegoers . 
you'd actually be amazed how far bemusement can go , and there are a few select moments ( not even whole scenes , mind you ) that are as romantic as anything i've seen on film in the 1990's . 
additionally , the film belongs , and its success can be attributed , to two people and two people only , and they are richard gere and julia roberts . 
playing sex symbols throughout the '80s with such pictures as "" american gigolo "" and "" an officer and a gentleman , "" gere branches out here to play a more quiet , almost shy , but still alluring , character that believably could sweep julia roberts off her feet , and vice versa . 
julia roberts , in her breakthrough role after 1988's well-received "" mistic pizza "" and 1989's "" steel magnolia , "" for which she was nominated for an academy award , is radiant and funny as the wordly vivian , who surprisingly could be a role model for impressionistic viewers , not for her line of work , but more for her sheer intelligence . 
it would have probably been easy to have written vivian as merely a flake , but screenwriter j . f . lawton clearly cared too much about his central characters to do such a thing . 
after "" pretty woman , "" roberts , along with meg ryan , became the reigning queen of romantic comedies ( with her latest being the just-released "" runaway bride , "" which repairs gere and roberts together once again ) , and no wonder . 
roberts has continually proven to not only be a strong actress with a flare for comedy , but also one who can efficiently do drama , and in almost every film she appears in , it is difficult not to fall in love with her along with her male co-star . 
an especially strong scene that gere and roberts do together takes place after edward foolishly tells one of his co-workers that vivian is actually a prostitute , and he then approaches her , making sexual advances . 
no only does this make vivian feel cheap , especially since she had previously been posing as a more professional , eloquent young lady , but it also maddens her that edward would demean and betray her in such a way , and ultimately causes her to question where exactly her life is leading , and if she likes this particular path . 
on the more dreamy side , the film is filled with romantic scenes that are simply effervescent to behold , especially one in which edward enters into the hotel's lounge to see vivian turn around and not only reveal her marvelous cocktail dress , but also her inner ( and outer ) glowing beauty . 
another subtle moment has vivian lovingly blowing a kiss to edward , who is asleep , and placing it on his lips , since she still is unsure if she should be getting attached to this man who may very well be out of her life forever in a short couple of days . 
 "" pretty woman "" does not blatantly step wrong until the very last scene , which is a happy ending ( as you'd expect , and wouldn't have it any other way ) that somehow does not work , perhaps because of its undeniable contrivances . 
this one misstep does not put a damper on the rest of the film , though , because there is just far too much magic at work here to disaffirm such a petty problem . 
helped along by a warm , memorable supporting performance from laura san giacomo , as vivian's best friend and roommate , and a fabulously catchy soundtrack , in which all of the songs prominently aid in the movie's overall fulfillment , "" pretty woman "" is a sparkler of a motion picture , and has what it takes to act as a blueprint on how to make the quintessential romantic comedy . 
"
"1","the dramatic comedy cousins has all the necessary ingredients : a witty and whimsical script , inspired performances , a great sense of humor , a large and wonderful cast , and the beautiful scenery of vancouver . 
it's a movie of weddings , marriage , family , infidelity , and--oh yes--love . 
like 3 men and a baby , cousins is an americanized version of a french film : 1975's cousin , cousine . 
the plot is complicated , but it goes something like this . 
larry and tom are cousins , each of whom is not-so-happily-married . 
tom starts an affair with larry's wife , tish , and to get even , larry and tom's wife , maria , pretend to have an affair of their own . 
soon the pretending turns to love and cousins is off and running . 
cousins is populated by a wide assortment of interesting characters and caricatures . 
the acting is first rate down to even the smallest supporting role , and virtually every performance deserves mention . 
ted danson ( in his first starring film role ) finally gets to play a character with some depth and sensitivity . 
while larry may be confident and charming like sam malone on "" cheers , "" he is also complex and vulnerable , with more between his ears than empty space . 
as maria , isabella rossellini is a joy to watch ; she is shy , sensuous , and immensely alluring . 
sean young is perfectly cast as larry's picture perfect wife , tish , a superficial and trendy make-up consultant . 
keith coogan , from adventures in babysitting , is wonderfully weird and eccentric as larry's rebellious son , mitch . 
and finally , lloyd bridges in a tour de force performance is mitch's rambunctious grandfather ; he provides some of cousins' best lines and laughs . 
like moonstruck , cousins is a mix of drama and comedy . 
the film is larger than life and has a keen sense of the absurd . 
it understands human nature extremely well and milks it for every possible laugh and heart-tug . 
how often do you see a movie where you believe that two characters truly and sincerely care for and love each other , as friends and as lovers ? 
well , to its credit , cousins is just such a movie . 
let's hope the french continue to provide us with the inspiration to make films like cousins 
"
"1","this remake of "" la cage aux folles "" features a gay couple pretending to be straight in order to pull the wool over the eyes of their son's future in-laws . 
the couple ( robin williams and nathan lane ) are about as archetypal , or as the less kind might put it ? stereotypical , gays possible . 
williams owns a nightclub featuring drag queens where his partner performs as the featured star . 
they live above the club in what could not possibly be mistaken as a heterosexual abode . 
williams is excellent as should be no surprise . 
gene hackman as right-wing potential father-in-law is refreshing in one of his few comedic roles . 
the real star is lane . 
his attempted transformation from one of the most obviously gay men in the world to the straight-shooting uncle is hilarious . 
perhaps it is a personal failing on my part , but the crying and screaming drag queen faux high drama just grates on my nerves and the first few minutes of this film are filled with it . 
luckily ( for me at least ) , it doesn't last long and the rest of the story focuses on the relationship between the men , their son and the deception . 
the question of stereotypes is a touchy one . 
these guys personify the homophobic gay image . 
you can almost hear the swishing . 
if you think that they are supposed to be representative of every gay man in the world , you'll be outraged . 
but if you can accept the view is that this is a movie about gay individuals , you'll love it . 
your choice . 
"
"1","seen may 19 , 1999 at 5 p . m . at the crossgates cinema 18 ( guilderland , n . y . ) , theater #1 , with my brother john for $8 . 50 . 
[theater rating : * * * * : excellent seats , sound and picture] 
 ( critic's note : this review is the longest i've ever written and still only scratches the surface . 
i'd recommend this be read only by those who have seen the film as a form of critical analysis . ) 
as my friend and fellow film critic ted prigge said in his review of `the phantom menace' - how do i even write this review ? 
never mind the fact that i've been waiting for a new `star wars' movie since i was seven years old . 
never mind the fact everyone on the internet had already dissected and discussed the movie before it was even released . 
never mind that there's so much going on in this movie in terms of plot , action , special effects and long-term story that to analyze every aspect would take a lot of time and energy and still wouldn't cover everything . 
and also like ted does in all of his reviews , i'll try to review this in a way different from my usual reviews and instead write as casually as possible as if i was talking directly to you , the reader . 
before we can begin analyzing the specific aspects of the film , many of the most general and most significant factors must be considered ( to get the specifics of the film , skip this and the next four paragraphs ) . 
as has been made obvious for the last several years , another trilogy of films will be produced to account for the [missing] initial three installments of the `star wars' series ( the first of the films was actually episode four , not one ) . 
george lucas , the creator of the series , has probably just assumed most people know the first-produced trilogy ( `star wars , ' `the empire strikes back' and `return of the jedi' ) is actually the second trilogy , chronologically . 
in media interviews in the past he has explained why the movies were made out of order , but i can't recall his reasons . 
with this new film he as writer and director has also assumed viewers are at least vaguely familiar with the storylines and significant plot points of the first trilogy ( err . . . 
second trilogy . . . 
well you know what i mean ) . 
and in order for this review to be thorough many of those significant points must be mentioned which , unfortunately , may serve as spoilers so proceed with caution . 
[critic's note #1 : it is one my personal policy not to intentionally analyze spoilers because i would like my reviews to be able to make sense to the reader both before and after viewing the film reviewed , but it would be nearly impossible to do the film justice here without breaking the rule . 
critic's note #2 : reviewing this film also breaks the universal critics' law of reviewing movies , which as roger ebert coined , `it's not what a movie is about , but how it is about it . ' 
because so many outside factors come into play in the film's plot and significance as part of a trilogy , and just considering modern society , it again would be difficult , if not impossible to simply review the film as a completely autonomous story . ] 
first of all we have to catalog what we know about the film before even going into it . 
we know that young anakin skywalker will grow up to become the evil ruler darth vader who is also the father of luke skywalker , who will lead a successful revolution against him and his empire . 
we know obi-wan `ben' kenobi was the trainer of anakin in the ways of `the force' in attempts to become a jedi knight , but would fail and thus anakin would fall to the `dark side . ' 
we also know something about `the force' itself , that it is some kind of universal force which determines fate and can be manipulated by those whose minds are expanded enough to believe in it and feel it ( the jedi ) . 
what we don't know for sure is the history of the ruling of the galaxy , which is most likely much longer and more complex than any government we have had here on earth . 
to me , this was one of the most fascinating aspects of the first three films because there seemed to be a subtle , definite order to all the complexity . 
also , it seems that we're supposed to be familiar with a few other details about the story which have come out of the thousands of comic books and paperbacks published in the years since the movies ended . 
most notably , details regarding the emperor from `empire' and `jedi , ' and that he was once a senator and his last name is palpatine . 
for those who haven't kept up with all the `star wars' paraphernalia over the years , there is still a way to know these details simply by recognizing an actor ( or his voice at least ) . 
with `the phantom menace' being the first chapter of a long saga , one would assume the basic groundwork would be laid , including the history behind all the major factors of the series , especially `the force' and the jedi knights . 
unfortunately , this film does more of the opposite as it simply builds on top of what must be a history so long and detailed it could never be explained . 
i didn't liked that aspect to this film and is one of the reasons it falls just short of greatness . 
if you're going to tell a story from the beginning - tell it from the beginning ( is it possible that after this trilogy is complete there could be another trilogy of episodes -1 through -3 to clarify the back story even further ? ) . 
but i digress . 
i've said so much and yet i haven't even touched on the specifics of the film itself . 
all these necessary `disclaiming' elements should go to show just how vast the story of the `star wars' series is and this individual film itself . 
what we get here is a movie not unlike any of the other three we've come to know and love since the late 1970s . 
its similarity to the other films helps to keep the spirit of the series familiar , but at the same time seems to be a flaw in the filmmaking process itself since it sometimes rings of unoriginality . 
the basic story is rather sorted , complex and even confusing at times . 
we're told that an army known as `the trade federation' has set up a blockade around an seemingly insignificant planet called naboo . 
we're not given too many details to clarify the back story of what the federation is and what their purpose is , instead the film opts to get its story moving quickly . 
we're introduced to two jedi , the master qui-gon jinn ( neeson ) and his apprentice obi-wan kenobi ( mcgregor ) . 
the two are acting as ambassadors of some sort in hopes of ending the obvious hostility between the federation and the planet's queen , amidala ( portman ) . 
the leader of the federation , an alien called viceroy , is following the orders of a strange , mythical character - an older human man whose face and body are covered and shadowed by the black robe and hood he wears . 
he is referred to as lord sidious but considering his appearance , and especially that creepy evil voice of his , he is a obviously one of the most significant characters in the series . 
sidious communicates to viceroy only through digital transmissions and never in person . 
clearly his actual whereabouts are something he wants to keep secret because that would also reveal his identity ( which is never openly revealed in the film , but should be clear to most viewers . 
i have a feeling we'll delve into his background in the next two films ) . 
but it doesn't take the film long to spring into action and within minutes our hero jedi are fighting for their lives and the film's story begins to move along . 
the film doesn't have one specific plot and works in the same manner as the other films in the series where as what we get is one mini-plot and adventure on top of another . 
there are so many of these mini-plots-within-plots in this film i would not describe them all because it is what gives the movie its hook . 
the other films have relied on this type of storytelling , but because of the limits of the technology at the time , the films' screenplays were also limiting . 
the sense of limitlessness here is what gives `the phantom menace' its unique traits . 
as we already know , the film takes place at least a generation or two before the original `star wars' trilogy which means a lot of the background which was unclear and/or unexplained may be cleared up here as it is the beginning of the vast epic story . 
and here the most significant storyline is that involving the discovery of 10-year-old anakin skywalker ( lloyd ) , by qui-gon jinn and his introduction to the jedi council . 
to briefly summarize the story , jinn stumbles upon skywalker in an attempt to buy parts for queen amidala's spaceship which was damaged in efforts to free her from the federation . 
their meeting on tatooine is mostly chance but of course jinn chalks it up to the will of the force . 
jinn can feel that skywalker has a great natural power in the force , and through another sub-plot involving a bet on skywalker in a fantastic race he will enter , more and more details of his significance begin to reveal themselves . 
this also provides for a new elaboration and explanation of the force which has never been mentioned before . 
in fact , it seems to be something so important it is upsetting it has never been mentioned before . 
the element seriously undermines the mystical aspect of the force and transforms it into something more physical and scientific which is completely unnecessary . 
by the film's third act all the major significant elements become tied together in a rather familiar execution of the plot . 
it's funny how the reality of the `star wars' world seems so embedded in mythology , new age-like philosophy and religion and yet the solution to all the major conflicts in the series has been violence . 
not that this technique hasn't been used in movies and in real-life situations countless times throughout history . 
and at least it's all in the spirit of the ultimate powers of good versus evil in a fun and exciting matter . 
it does border of the cartoonish sometimes , but that's just the film appealing to our inner child , which is the basic reason the entire saga exists and has become such a big part of our modern society . 
`the phantom menace' delivers exactly what you'd expect from a `star wars' film which is why it succeeds as well as it does but is always why it never truly achieves greatness . 
so many things in the film we've seen before and done with more heart because the filmmakers concentrated just a bit more on story and character because they were limited . 
but this film is far from bad because it at least embraces the spirit of sheer fun at the movies . 
"
"1","the story of us , a rob reiner film , is the second movie this fall that touches the viewer in a way they are rarely touched by a film , as they can see their everyday lives in the usually once in a year films . 
well , 1999 has two of them , the other being the instant classic about a very dysfunctional family , american beauty . 
the story of us , a film about the highs and lows of marriage and family , is a well written , heartbreaking and insightful film that made the majority of the audience , including myself , cry . 
the story of us tells the story of ben ( bruce willis ) and katie ( michelle pfeiffer ) jordan , and asks the question , "" can a marriage survive 15 years of marriage ? "" 
the film is about two individuals who have come together , spent a good chunk of their lives together , and shows when our main characters are "" him "" and "" her "" ( during the bad times ) , and when they are "" us "" ( during the good times ) . 
the story of us is about their entire 15 years of marriage that is collapsing day by day . 
ben and katie now only see and live with each other because they don't want to devastate their children with the fact that their parents no longer , or at least say they don't , love each other anymore . 
ben , a cartoonist , and katie , a crossword puzzle writer , have grown apart during their fifteen years of marriage , as they have grown to follow different views on life , family , and marriage . 
katie is the more organized , sophisticated type , who wants to plan everything out , while ben is a spontaneous , adventurous individual who doesn't mind doing things differently than they were planned . 
the story of us plays out nicely , as the film opens with ben sharing his story with a therapist , told to the viewer through flashbacks . 
as the film progresses , it switches between ben and katie talking to their therapist , with their stories being told with flashbacks of their marriage . 
this method is highly effective , as we see the characters changing from year to year , slowly growing apart . 
through the flashbacks , we get to see the story of them through both of the character's eyes , and this gives us a strong sense of what their characters are really like , as the story of us has three dimensional , believable main characters . 
the screenplay , written by jessie nelson ( stepmom ) and alan zweibel ( dragnet ) , is a touching , down to earth work that hits a chord within the viewer , much like another one of nelson's films , stepmom . 
the script has an open honesty and outlook on life , one that is so realistic , you feel uncomfortable at many times , because so many situations the characters are in are undeniably familiar , as most families these days most go through the hard times , as ben and katie must . 
if it wasn't for the first 15 minutes that the writers wrote , which are rugged and certainly flawed , the story of us would have been this year's best picture . 
bruce willis , a usual action/adventure star , has certainly turned himself around in the past year- he went from being a man who was being typecast to the same role in action movies , to a distinguished , sophisticated actor , as in last summer's the sixth sense ; and now in the story of us , willis shows the world what he can really do if he is fed a good script . 
although i wouldn't pick willis as the choice actor for ben jordan , willis handles himself nicely , and shines in a few of the film's most powerful scenes , enough that make his performance a definite contender comes awards season . 
where to start about michelle pfeiffer ? 
pfeiffer's performance is spellbinding and ultimately strong , as she brings her character to life with such charisma and emotion , you wonder how , how it is possible for someone to portray a real person with such realism . 
pfeiffer's performance is one that if not recognized by the academy next spring , will be in the heart's of any viewer that has watched this moving film . 
the story of us is one of 1999's most real , yet funny films , as the razor sharp script evens out the laughs and the tears to keep the viewer hooked . 
superb acting , direction , writing , story , and soundtrack that always sets the mood for the film , which is beautifully composed by eric clapton and marc shaiman , make the story of us a touching , unforgettable motion picture that will touch the hearts of viewers across the country- and will certainly become one of the most talked about movies of the fall . 
the film's major high points are the fights between ben and katie , as the two constantly accuse of each other of whose fault it is that their marriage has collapsed , and although they also say things like "" it's over , "" or "" i hate you , "" you can tell the two still share a deep connection , and that inside , somewhere , they are still an "" us . "" 
the bottom line : a wonderful , enchanting , and heartbreaking film . 
one of the most realistic , heartbreaking films in recent years . 
"
"1","warren beatty returns to the screens in the funniest , craziest and hard hitting movie in his career . 
based on a story concocted by himself , and also written by beatty , bulworth gives a good insight of what beatty thinks of the american government system . 
beatty stars as senator jay bulworth , who's going through a nervous breakdown . 
after hiring someone to kill him , he completely changes his campaign strategy and tells the honest truth about what's _really_ happening in american politics , much to the annoyance of assistant dennis murphy ( platt . ) 
instead of everyone hating him , the american public love him . 
however , inside his party , more people want to kill him than just the hired assassin . 
and he also strikes a relationship with black girl nina ( berry . ) 
it's remarkable that this film was released at all . 
much more open than the rather subdued primary colours , bulworth barely gives the american politic system a good name . 
the outrageous remarks bulworth makes to his potential voters are very funny , and also somewhat true . 
it's great that beatty isn't afraid to let loose on a subject . 
talking of beatty , he's excellent in the role of the demented senator , clearing having fun . 
and seeing warren beatty have fun is a rare sight indeed . 
even in dick tracy , he was the most straighten face actor . 
 ( then again , he was the only characters face we could completely see . ) 
the film gives an opportunity for the 61 year old beatty to indulge in some rapping , which he does with gusto ( and also quite well . ) 
and seeing beatty as a 'homeboy' has to be seen to be believed . 
it's nice to see that beatty can laugh at himself . 
second best is oliver platt as the flustered , coke snorting assistant , who goes over the top when he finally snaps . 
halle berry is fine , and sexy , as the intellectual nina , who comes to like the senator . 
also popping up in the supporting cast is paul sorvino wit h a strange accent , laurie metcalf as the exact same characters she's also played , and christine baranski of cybill fame as bullworths wife , who all contribute to the fun . 
and , this being a political film , the ubiquitous larry king makes an appearance , as , * shock * , himself . 
the writing and directing , both by beatty , are above par . 
the direction is very nearly sitcom like , but suits the film perfectly , and both the politics are gangland parts are handled well . 
the script is funny , and the raps are actually well produced and humorous , and quite clever . 
they're not cringe inducing , at least . 
the script makes many points about society in america today , and isn't afraid to make any bold statements about what is a flawed system . 
best of all , the film is thought provoking , but directed and written in such a way that the film feels as light as a feather , and is very entertaining . 
there's also a great rap soundtrack with some well chosen tunes . 
bulworth is a film with many advantages , and few flaws . 
perhaps it could be somewhat embarrassing to see a 61 year old man rapping , but beatty does it so well it's irrelevant . 
in fact , there's very little against bulworth , except for the language which is very heavy , but then again it should be expected . 
bulworth , then , is well worth watching . 
a david wilcock review ? 1999 
 "" you know , for kids "" - norville barnes 
"
"1","the long and illustrious career of robin williams , which has included both forgettable turns like mrs . 
doubtfire and flubber , was punctuated with the actor's first academy award in 1998 for his role in good will hunting . 
it was his first truly dramatic role since 1989's dead poets society , and critical remarks were unanimously positive . 
his next role , that of a deceased pediatrician in what dreams may come , was unfortunately lackluster . 
and so , after a six-year stint as a comedic actor , the proof on whether or not williams can cut it in the dramatic league has come down to patch adams . 
williams is the title character , hunter "" patch "" adams , sporting scruffy facial hair that falls between the clean-shavenness of dreams and the grotesque hairiness of will hunting . 
we're introduced to patch as he commits himself to a mental institution because of his suicidal tendancies . 
it's at the institution , however , that he discovers a latent talent for relating to people . 
he removes himself from the institution and enrolls at the university of virginia's medical college , where he finds that medical doctrine is a calculating , impersonal trade . 
his attempts to inject humanity into the profession result in several bouts with expulsion , and the movie climaxes with patch's appearance before the state medical board . 
the characters are well-defined in an oscar-worthy sense . 
although the script does not perform well as a narrative -- there's little story to be told outside of patch's skit-length experiences -- the script does go a long way toward building the relationships of characters . 
at medical school , patch meets up with truman schiff ( daniel london ) , an outsider like himself who relishes patch's zest for humanity . 
the two instantly become the best of friends , and it's easy to see why . 
monica potter plays patch's love interest , a young woman who personifies the things that patch hates about medical school . 
for some reason he's attracted to her , and although it never gets said , the audience understands from an intrinsic point of view . 
the script -- based on hunter adams' own story -- works well this way . 
the rest of the cast , bob gunton as the villain professor in particular , is solid . 
director tom shadyac ( liar liar ) leads us in and out of patch's life in a sound , intentional manner ; combined with williams' presence on screen , the movie rarely becomes boring . 
patch adams' lack of purpose is its major shortcoming , and for the first ninety minutes out of two hours , there's little feeling of continuity or the passage of time . 
nevertheless , it's an emotionally moving picture , and patch adams looks to be one of the more memorable of the holiday season . 
it succeeds at everything it tries , and only fails at the stuff it doesn't try in the first place . 
by and large there may be another oscar nomination herein for williams , but more importantly , it's entertainment for the entire family . 
"
"1","in recent years , harrison ford has been such a grave screen presence , scowling through the likes of tom clancy's jack ryan series , _the_fugitive_ , and last year's smash _air_force_one_ , that one wonders if the rogue charm that made him such a superstar had been completely drained from his system . 
apparently , it was just lying dormant . 
with ivan reitman's enjoyable romantic comedy/adventure _six_days , _seven_nights_ , the lovable scoundrel is back , giving audiences a fresh reminder of why ford is one of the most enduring and popular modern screen icons . 
ford plays quinn harris , a carefree and slightly slobby ( endearingly so ) pilot in the tropics whose broken-down plane crashes in a storm , stranding him and his charter , new york magazine editor robin monroe ( anne heche ) , on a deserted island . 
of course , the sophisticated robin and the salt-of-the-earth quinn are at odds long before the plane goes down , and all manner of hostile repartee is exchanged between the two from their first meeting . 
while some of the lines fall flat , the formulaic motions work because of the unexpectedly electric chemistry between ford and heche . 
both actors , who have largely done serious works as of late , seem liberated by the lack of dramatic weight on their shoulders , and they deliver their zingers , as weak as they sometimes are , with beguiling abandon . 
naturally , there's nothing like a life-threatening crisis to bring two people together , and quinn and robin's warmup to each other is sped up even further by the arrival of some bloodthirsty pirates . 
granted , some conflict needed to be introduced on the island , but this tacked-on development from writer michael browning is a bit too obviously thrown in for the purpose of adding gratuitous action scenes . 
but the point is to get the two together , and their newfound affection causes complications for both , but mostly robin , who came to the islands on a vacation with her fiance frank ( david schwimmer ) , who frantically awaits her return on the home island . 
reitman , and old , reliable hand at breezy comedies , keeps the pace brisk and capably handles the more action-oriented sequences . 
his big accomplishment , however , is bringing the old , smiling ford back . 
as appealing and charismatic as he always is , ford hasn't been quite this charming and affable in years ; he's obviously having a blast , and the audience cannot help but have one along with him . 
holding her own is heche , whose scrappy character never becomes the screaming ninny she initially promises to be ( as the plane goes down , she frantically pops stress pills ) . 
she can take her lumps , physical and otherwise , just as well as quinn , making her a formidable foil and ideal match . 
formulaic and light as a feather , _six_days , _seven_nights_ could be cited as a classic example of the summer "" popcorn "" movie season's lack of substance . 
it's certainly fluff , but it's unpretentious , undemanding , and--most importantly--fun fluff that goes down as easily as a frothy pina colada on a balmy tropical beach . 
pass the popcorn . 
"
"1","near the end of 1996 , analysts remarked that the year would be the last in which disney would stand alone as the animation king . 
the following year , 1997 , saw the first sleeper entry into the genre from a studio other than the magic kingdom : twentieth century fox gave baronial russia to the masses in the form of anastasia . 
at best , that's all it was -- a sleeper hit , designed to surprise but not shake the industry . 
in 1998 , however , things have been decidedly different . 
there have been a number of pushes on disney's death grip on the market , and fifty-one weeks into '98 , a new champion has emerged . 
dreamworks' the prince of egypt succeeds where all of the other conventionally animated products have failed . 
the other two contenders , warner brothers' quest for camelot and disney's own annual entry , mulan , lacked inspiration and drive respectively . 
although camelot was borderline-abysmal , and can't really be considered a shot at the title , mulan had the makings of winner . 
unfortunately , it was saturated with traditional , disney-cute animation , and lost points against the rapidly-changing face of the competition . 
in making the prince of egypt , dreamworks has strayed from all of these hallmarks and created a genuinely unique product . 
the animation is flawless , and , aside from a bug's life , is the best-looking movie to date . 
the animators have nimbly mixed both flat and spatial effects , and the 2d/3d combination is something that artists from disney and fox have heretofore struggled with . 
the key to success , however , was that the visuals were used not just because they looked cool but also as a method of advancing the plot . 
namely , some of the most important action sequences ( like the parting of the red sea ) were done almost entirely in 3d . 
dreamworks is the first studio to prove that they've got the stuff of success , and that they're capable of challenging disney . 
the story is also well-written , and the characters voiced with talent . 
for the most part , the plot follows its source material -- the book of exodus -- although only in the most general sense . 
the writers took a few creative liberties , and most do not damage the story in any way . 
in fact , the shakespearean relationship between moses ( val kilmer ) and the pharaoh rameses ( ralph fiennes ) makes the story more interesting if anything . 
moses , a hebrew , is saved from the slaughter of the firstborn sons by his mother when she sets him in a basket on the nile ; he floats into the pharaoh seti ( patrick stewart ) 's palace and is taken in by the royal family . 
moses grows up but learns of his heritage and flees into the desert , where he discovers the burning bush and is commissioned by god to return to egypt and free the slaves . 
by this time , rameses is now pharaoh , and the two brothers , now on opposite sides of the line , face off in a battle of wills and divine intervention . 
the cast of voices is most impressive , and also includes such noteables as sandra bullock , jeff goldblum , danny glover , and steve martin . 
the script does not have a lot of one-liners in it , and god is reduced to a voice that might well be mistaken for the same one that spoke to kevin costner in field of dreams , but overall the story is exciting and interesting . 
it's decidedly for an older crowd , and the tykes who haven't had a few years of religion class will be hopelessly lost . 
but for those who make the bid , the prince of egypt can be a great watch . 
"
"1","capsule : a rock and roll fable , indeed . 
like a hubert selby , jr . novel filtered through equal parts damon runyan and bruce springsteen , and a ton of fun . 
streets of fire bills itself as "" a rock and roll fable "" , and the description is perfect . 
this is a stylish , great-looking , and breezily enjoyable movie that feels like a hubert selby , jr . , novel with a damon runyan rewrite , irected by bruce springsteen . 
noir is one of the few truly american movie genres , aside from the hollywood musical and the western . 
this is post-wwii brooklyn noir , for lack of a better label , with a generous injection of rock 'n roll and an all-around confrontational attitude . 
it all works . 
the plot is simplicity itself : rocker ellen aim ( diane lane ) is kidnapped by a vicious street gang , led by a bloodthirsty fellow named raven ( willem dafoe , very nasty ) . 
her old soldier flame ( played by michael pare ) comes back into town to save her , but doesn't count on a whole bunch of things going askew . 
that's about the entire plot , save for the spats with ellen's manager ( a hilarious rick moranis ) , an encounter with a doo-wop group that winds up becoming ellen's supporting act , and a whole gang of other fun little touches . 
but in movies like this , when is the plot important ? 
the movie is all style , all visuals and attitudes , quotable lines and posturing -- and it delivers all those things consistently and with great brio and pacing . 
no surprise that it was directed by walter hill ( 48 hrs . ) , who understands this kind of macho romanticism perfectly , and has put together a movie that's a mixture of times and sensibilities , but perfectly unified in tone . 
when was the last time you could say something like that about a movie , especially a movie where it seems like someone gets decked on the jaw ( * and * passes out ) every 2 . 63 minutes on cue ? 
streets of fire isn't the greatest movie ever made , but it occupies a totally unique little niche , and enjoys the position it has . 
anyone with a weakness for doo-wop , neon , motorcycles , rainy streets , the el , studebakers , gang pictures , lonely heroes , and a great-looking gal giving the microphone both lungs will eat this movie up . 
i did . 
"
"1","jack nicholson has a funny way of playing characters with very few redeeming qualities , but whom you end up liking anyway . 
in as good as it gets , the character in question is melvin udall , a successful novelist with obsessive-compulsive disorder who seems bent on having as little contact with people around him as possible , except when he feels like being a royal pain in the you-know-where . 
he's mean . 
i mean really mean . 
the opening scene shows him shoving a little dog down the trash chute of his manhattan condominium . 
every day , melvin eats at the same cafe , sits at the same table , and gets served by the same waitress . 
you can tell that this is his favorite place to be a vicious nuisance , when his waitress carol ( helen hunt ) tells him he can just go sit in another section , and all the other waitresses just cringe . 
one day , melvin makes a comment that goes to far , and carol , genuinely hurt , comes down on him like a ton of bricks . 
at that point we find that she is not only the only person who can put up with him as a matter of course , but is also the only person who can get to him , too . 
another person who often crosses melvin's sights is simon ( greg kinnear ) , an artist who lives on melvin's floor . 
aside from the fact that he lives near the terror of the city , simon has the added benefit of being gay , making him a prime target . 
simon's friend frank ( cuba gooding , jr . ) , also gay , does not fare much better . 
when simon walks in on a pair of men robbing his apartment , he is brutally beaten and sent to the hospital , and frank , who has grown tired of seeing his friend take the verbal abuse dished out by his neighbor , intimidates melvin into watching after simon's dog while he convalesces . 
this is the same dog melvin had earlier shoved down the garbage . 
an interesting thing happens when melvin takes this dog in : melvin gets to like the dog , and the two develop an attachment which is the catalyst to melvin's softening up to the world around him . 
it doesn't happen overnight , but throughout the film , he bites his tongue here , cares a little there , and most miraculously , falls in love . 
one of the best elements of this film is watching melvin try to express feelings which are not the usual negative ones he so often shares with others . 
he's traveling terra incognita here , and it shows . 
good performances are turned in by all principal players in this film , especially by nicholson and hunt . 
they play well off of each other and have a genuine chemistry which makes it a pleasure to watch them on screen . 
greg kinnear , who is becoming known for his supporting film roles , is also very good at playing the vulnerable simon . 
he gives a short monologue about what it means for him to be an artist , and delivers it with such inspiration and conviction that you actually get to feel some of what he feels . 
cuba gooding jr . performs with a hyped-up level of energy which contrasts nicely with that of kinnear , and comes through with a near constant comic performance . 
the screenplay , by mark andrus and james l . brooks , is clever , touching , and funny . 
the best part about it , however , is that it is filled with characters we care about because they are actually interesting . 
melvin is a man we can't quite figure out , but whose mannerisms and quirky qualities capture our attention . 
carol is a working woman living with her mother , trying to take care of a child with a debilitating respiratory problem . 
simon is a man who is a success in his circle of peers , but who is still not accepted by much of society . 
combined with the talent of the actors , these characters make the film . 
the one noticeable area where the film is lacking , however , is the absence of cuba gooding , jr . through the second half . 
his character makes an exit which is supposed to be temporary , but the film ends before his return , leaving his relationship with simon and melvin unresolved . 
i would have liked to have seen more of his character in general , in addition to a part in the film's conclusion . 
there's one actor , who will probably not be recognized by any awards , but who contributes greatly to many of the movie's best scenes and who deserves mention . 
this is that little dog . 
he plays such a pivotal role to melvin's character development , actually serves to forward the plot , and has some absolutely scene-stealing moments , that it is hard to believe he is simply an animal . 
award or no , however , when even the dog puts in a good performance , you know you've got an outstanding movie . 
"
"1"," "" i've been told by several people , 'you're old fashioned . 
you want to do everything by hand , ' "" topiary gardener george mendonca complains , defending his continued resort to hand shears in trimming his intricately privet-sculpted animal creations . 
 "" this is the only way you can do it and do it right . "" 
snip , snip . 
 "" some people believe that we are gonna replace ourselves by building these machines , and that may be , "" muses mit robot scientist rodney brooks , who builds robots that run on instinct . 
 "" there may not be a place for humans in the future , if we're really successful . "" 
 "" you feel that there's a and looking directly into errol morris's camera . 
 "" i know you are . 
you know i am . "" 
in some ways the slickest film yet from nonfiction auteur morris ( the thin blue line , a brief history of time ) , fast , cheap & out of control is reportage of the highest order . 
journalism students should dream of making connections like these . 
cross-cutting among interviews and filmed segments , morris traces the lives of four disparate professionals who seem to share nothing but an immersion in their work , and then threads them around one another in an intricate quadruple helix . 
the fun is settling into your theater seat and wondering just what the hell one story can possibly have to do with the other . 
what morris manages is something akin to an intellectual magic trick , an interrogative sleight of hand . 
one of the things that feels different about an errol morris documentary -- besides the always-striking visuals -- is the interview style , where subjects seem to look directly at the viewer . 
weary of pressing his cheek against the camera lens to get this effect during conversations , morris developed an elaborate double-camera gadget he calls , half-jokingly , the interrotron . 
through a rig that uses a pair of teleprompters to project video images of the interviewer for the subject and vice versa , these folks talk , startlingly , right to the camera -- to the video image of morris , and by extension to the audience . 
the gardener wonders whether , after his death , anyone will be interested in maintaining the garden that he's devoted half his life to tending . 
the robot scientist is more than a little pleased to note that his creations may be primal examples of what an insect or even an animal is -- a complicated set of sensory receptors . 
the mole rat specialist is delighted to catalog the ways in which these vermin animals behave like insects , and notes that they may be more suited to long-term survival than people . 
and the circus trainer pines for a long-lost ideal that was exemplified by world-renowned trainer and showman clyde beatty , who starred in such serials as zombies of the stratosphere ( excerpted at some length here , with affection ) . 
starting to detect the patterns ? 
fast , cheap & out of control contains a multitude of parallels and tiny intersections , culminating in what feels like an elegy ( the film is dedicated to morris's late mother and stepfather ) . 
the film is balanced on that airy precipice dividing the already musty past from the alternately exhilarating and terrifying space that is the future . 
 ( the title is taken from brooks' wish that nasa would send a payload of hundreds of expendable robots to scurry about the martian surface , creating a sort of road map for the terrain -- fast , cheap , and out of control . ) 
with able assists from editors karen schmeer and shondra merrill and cinematographer robert richardson ( oliver stone's longtime collaborator ) , this becomes a cinematic contraption that's a wonder of narrative divergence and coherence . 
 ( further enhancing the picture's wacky intellectual mood is the playful score by alloy orchestra founder caleb sampson . ) 
different story threads inform and comment on one another with the serene inscrutability of a kieslowski film , or a surrealist dream . 
by cobbling together out of these motley musings a thesis on the nature of craftsmanship , invention , and existence itself , morris reveals the presence of cosmic themes -- creation , evolution , death -- in earthbound lives . 
at the same time , and just as significantly , he pays tribute to a consuming passion for one's work . 
this breakdown of the dichotomy between the everyday and the extraordinary is likely as profound as anything you'll encounter in pop culture this year , and the visuals cry out for the big screen . 
don't miss it . 
-------------------------------------------------------------- directed by errol morris edited by karen schmeer and shondra merrill cinematography by robert richardson music by caleb sampson u . s . , 1997 -------------------------------------------------------------- 
"
"1","the deer hunter , directed by michael cimino , is truly one of the greatest movies ever made . 
a captivating drama about the lives of a group of friends from a small russian-american pennsylvania community , the deer hunter promises to be one of those movies that you will never forget . 
in this academy award winner for best picture of 1978 , outstanding performances are turned in by all actors , and cimino's brilliant directing provides the perfect vision into the character's lives . 
the first act of the film provides us with an inside look into the lives of a group of men from a small community who work and hang out together . 
michael , portrayed perfectly by robert de niro , is shown early on as the natural leader of the group . 
after a days work , the men leave their jobs at a factory to head down to the local bar , where john ( george dzundza ) works . 
three of the men , michael , steven ( john savage ) , and nick ( christopher walken ) will be leaving shortly for vietnam , but not before steven gets married . 
after the marriage , the group , including axel ( chuck aspegren ) , spend one last day on a hunting trip , one of their favorite past-times . 
this sequence of events enables us to view the lifestyle of a normal group of men , who will be suddenly and permanently affected by the ravages and separations of war . 
the wedding scenes , although criticized by many as being quite long , actually enhance even more the purpose of the first act . 
the outstanding performances by de niro , walken , streep , savage , and cazale , who died very shortly after the filming of the movie was completed , really begin to shine through and promise not to halt in the near future . 
the second act of the movie begins with the trio of men on the front lines in vietnam , stationed in a south vietnamese village being attacked by the viet cong . 
the men are eventually captured and held in a floating prison on a river . 
this prison , run by the v . c . , 
initiates the horrifying scenes in the movie , where the prisoners are forced to play russian roulette against each other . 
steven , who is emotionally marred by this turn of events , is secluded in a tiger cage with water up to his face when he refuses to participate . 
michael shows his leadership again by convincing nick that the only way that steven will survive is if the two friends play against each other , and moreover , they must play with 3 bullets in the gun . 
personally , i felt that de niro's absolutely gripping portrayal really was displayed in a brilliant way in these and the following scenes . 
the men are eventually able to escape , but are separated . 
michael is able to get steven , who ends up losing his legs , to medical care , while nick finds his way to saigon and a u . s . army hospital . 
michael returns home and does not feel at all like a hero . 
he wants to avoid the celebrations and recognition that his friends would like to bestow upon him . 
he assumes that nick is still lost in vietnam . 
the third act concentrates more on walken's character , who eventually stumbles upon a small gambling operation where the game is , again , russian roulette . 
only in this game , you play for money . 
michael has learned that nick is possibly still alive and returns to saigon to attempt to find him . 
the two narrowly find each other at the russian roulette games , but do not link up until michael discovers nick participating in the games and tries to bring him home . 
a very emotional , and , for many , a very disturbing movie , the deer hunter is a truly magnificent movie that should not be missed . 
the greatest performances possible are turned in by all actors , and cimino's directing , which is considered to be at his all-time best in this film , is equally dazzling . 
do not miss this film , it will captivate and astound you . 
"
"1","with storytelling this compelling , who needs books ? 
based on the book by author james ellroy , l . a . confidential is probably one of the best piece of work produced by hollywood in recent years . 
together with director curtis hanson ( the hand that rocks the cradle , the river wild ) whom ellroy corroborated closely throughout the shooting of the film , resulted in a movie with a plot and and script so tight , an atom would have to squeeze itself through . 
set in the 50s , the story revolves around 3 policemen of vivid personalities . 
jack vincennes ( spacey ) is the cop who is more concerned on busting with fame and stardom ala hollywood style , concentrating heavily on work which will attract him media attention . 
there is also the young hot-shot rookie , ed exley ( pearce ) , fresh out of the academy and all-out to carve a name for himself in the footsteps of his legendary cop father . 
the tough and unnerving bud white ( crowe ) , a cop who believes in justice , the swift and violent way . 
3 policemen , distinct in their characters and paths but all of them working in a place where there is no real distinction between good and evil . 
when his partner is murdered on the day of his resignation , bud sets out to find the people responsible but unwittingly delved himself into something more than just a simple robbery murder . 
even after exley receives a promotion for his work on the murder case , happenings began to link itself to the murder . 
the 3 eventually reach a point of convergence when what actually began as a personal investigation turns out to be an uncovering of a complex web of organised-crime in hollywood . 
the last time i remember a film so clever and compelling was when i watched the usual suspects . 
in l . a . confidential , you do not get the shock and cleverness as the former but it has a lot more of `story' going for it . 
there is not a single moment in the film in which i felt was slow at all . 
surprisingly , though spacey did a very convincing job as the street-wise vincennes , the movie was carried mostly by the two rather `unknowns' , pearce and crowe . 
pearce's exley is cool and calculative in his actions and there is a slight hint of val kilmer in his appearance . 
crowe's bud white is the most impressive of all ; head-strong and temperamental , he should obtain some sort of recognition for his work here . 
superb acting . , wonderful storytelling and one of the best climaxing gunfights ever . 
easily the best hollywood piece for 1997 . 
"
"1","synopsis : committed to an asylum , the marquis de sade ( rush ) continues to publish pornographic literature , aided by young maid madeleine ( winslet ) . 
abbe coulmier ( phoenix ) , who runs the hospital , disapproves of the stories , but humours him in the hope of achieving a cure . 
de sade's craft and life are threatened when the emperor dispatches dr royer-collard ( michael caine ) to stop the marquis' work , permanently . 
review : "" quills "" is an exploration of the marquis de sade : his madness , his cruelty and his perversion , his obsession with sex in any form , no matter how obscene . 
but "" quills "" also details the marquis' determination : to write in spite of the obstacles put in his path , and to propagate his words to the masses . 
the extent to which de sade is willing to go to practise his trade is amongst the movie's most intriguing elements , as when de sade scribes a story in his own blood , or narrates a tale via of a chain of fellow inmates , cell to cell . 
to provide a contrast with the marquis , wright involves him with two very different characters . 
one is the abbe , a handsome , charming and kindly man whose desires are stymied by his oath to god . 
the abbe lusts for madeleine , but it is the wizened marquis who is able to have her . 
and then there is royer-collard , a hypocrite who in truth is as sadistic as any of the marquis' motley creations . 
rush is splendid as de sade , utterly inhabiting the character . 
kaufman's direction is fine , and he is able to bring a sense of bizarre humour to the grim proceedings . 
the plot itself is rather mundane and plays out unsurprisingly , but this is virtually unimportant . 
for two hours , "" quills "" acquaints us with the marquis de sade -- and , more frightening still , allows us brief insight into his scatological soul . 
"
"1","with more and more television shows having gay characters , and even the infamous "" ellen "" sitcom being centered on the life of a lesbian , the movie industry too seems to be gaining more and more homosexual based plot lines . 
the birdcage was critically acclaimed , as was this years chasing amy . 
then along came in & out , and all three of these films are on my top ten list for the years in which they were released . 
it's also noticeable that this "" alternative lifestyle "" becomes less and less taboo as the years go by , and it seems that using comedy as a medium is proving a worthwhile effort . 
while it's a very serious issue to many , it is the comedies that people are flocking to see and that are gaining notoriety . 
but the way we're using comedy to present homosexuality is also changing quite dramatically . 
while the gay community was once very stereotyped and used to laugh * at * , it is more and more becoming something we laugh * with * , and when a movie like in & out comes along , it is something that both heterosexuals and homosexuals should be able to thoroughly enjoy . 
it doesn't poke fun at the lifestyle , it simply uses it to all it's comedic capacity , just as love , sex , marriage , birth , death , and anything else has been . 
the idea for in & out was born the day tom hanks won his oscar for portraying an aids-afflicted gay man in philadelphia . 
if you remember , during his acceptance speech , hanks gave a highly emotional tribute to the gay community , and even sighted a former gay teacher of his as a major inspiration in his life . 
it's a serious and touchy subject , but producer scott rudin viewed it as the setting for a potentially hilarious comedy , and pitched it to screenwriter paul rudnick . 
it's true that if this same film had been written by a heterosexual , it may have been more controversial , but because it was written by an openly gay writer , the prerogative was set . 
kevin kline , who only seems to become more and more acclaimed , stars as howard brackett , a high school english teacher in the small , picturesque town of greenleaf , indiana . 
after a three-year engagement to fellow teacher emily montgomery ( joan cusack ) , a wedding date has been set , and the hubbub surrounding it is almost as big as that surrounding another huge story - greenleaf high graduate cameron drake ( matt dillon ) is up for a best actor oscar . 
the small town eagerly awaits both events , and both seem quite astronomical , but little does anyone know how much one will affect the other . 
when cameron drake is announced the winner , the excitement is heightened as he pays tribute to his high school english teacher , mr . brackett . 
everyone is cheering back in greenleaf - that is until cameron tacks on those three calamitous words , "" and he's gay . "" 
the town becomes silent as the entire population joins in a simultaneous jaw drop . 
the thing is , nobody , including howard , can understand how cameron came to that conclusion , and such wild and unexpected news can only wreak havoc in such a conservative american haven such as greenleaf . 
naturally the questions pour from howard's fiancee , parents ( debbie reynolds & wilford brimley ) , students , and the high school's principal , tom halliwell ( bob newhart ) , and the evidence starts to become more and more obvious : howard is clean , neat , honest , sincere , a romantic , and perhaps the most incriminating fact , he loves barbara streisand . 
the frenzy isn't helped any when camera crews from every conceivable news magazine and "" entertainment tonight "" wannabe show up at greenleaf high the very next morning . 
one particular reporter is peter malloy ( tom selleck ) of "" inside entertainment "" , who unlike the collage of other reporters , wants to spend a whole week in the life of howard brackett , including coverage of his wedding . 
the intrusion is all but welcome by howard , who is going more and more out of his mind with each passing minute . 
it seems that no matter where he turns , a camera is being shoved in his face and questions regarding homosexuality are being tossed to him like frisbees . 
the dominoes begin to tumble as howard's closest friends begin acting different and principal halliwell hints at a possible termination of employment should howard indeed be gay . 
it all sounds very devastating , and it would be if it weren't presented with near-perfection by one of this year's most delightful ensemble casts . 
kline seems only to improve with age , and he is downright perfect here . 
the great thing about this film is that every single character has a moment to shine , and they use it wonderfully . 
every single actor turns in one of their best performances ever . 
dillon has never been so likeable , cusack has never seemed so perfect for a role , and brimley , reynolds , and newhart all provide huge laughs when they're up to bat . 
rudnick's script is heavily laced with wit and humor , and you'll likely find yourself laughing out loud for a solid ninety minutes . 
while in & out doesn't carry enough to give it four stars , it remains one of the best done films of the year , all-around . 
the script is exuberant , the actors are absolutely top- notch , and we're allowed just the perfect blend of heart-tugging so as not to bog down the laughs . 
it remains a solid comedy throughout its entirety , yet we're still allowed a sappily touching ending . 
despite it's subject matter , and one scene that comes almost too close for comfort on explaining gay sex , this is a movie that everyone could , and should , enjoy . 
frank oz , best known as a voice talent for muppets , directs this film quite delightfully , using all the potential rudnick's script has to offer , which turns out to be quite a bit . 
check this one out . 
you'll have a gay old time . 
"
"1","with his last two films - shine and snow falling on cedars - australian director scott hicks has proven his cinematic flashbacks to be some of the best out there , and his latest , hearts in atlantis , is no different . 
its structure - beginning and ending in present day with one long flashback in the middle - is similar to the green mile , which is a bit ironic considering both were based on stephen king books . 
the parallels don't end there , either . 
atlantis was adapted by william goldman , who had previously penned the big-screen version of misery and is in the process of working on the script for king's dreamcatcher . 
even the film's content is a bit reminiscent of mile . 
in fact , it's the perfect blend of the feel-good '60s nostalgia of stand by me ( also by king ) and mystical power hokum of mile . 
king's atlantis is a book comprised of five related short stories , but the main focus here is on the first ( and longest ) tale , called low men in yellow coats ( the film's title comes from the second chapter ) . 
it's set in 1960 harwich , connecticut , where 11-year-old bobby garfield ( anton yelchin ) lives in a boarding house run by his cold , self-centered mother elizabeth ( hope davis , joe gould's secret ) , who seems to care more about her wardrobe than her son . 
bobby spends his time with his two closest friends , john sullivan ( will rothhaar ) and tomboy carol gerber ( mika boorem ) , who become something like the kevin , paul and winnie of harwich . 
when a new tenant moves into the vacant room , the fatherless bobby finds a male role model in ted brautigan ( anthony hopkins , hannibal ) , a mysterious stranger who is vague enough about his past to make bobby's mom suspicious enough to at least momentarily turn her head away from the mirror . 
ted teaches his young neighbor about the wonders of literature ( after his cheapskate mother gives him a library card for his birthday ) , dispenses prophetic words of wisdom and even pays bobby one dollar a week to read him the local newspaper and keep his eyes peeled for the low men , a group of people chasing ted to exploit his special powers . 
i won't go into what these powers are , but they're considerably toned down from the book ( and don't involve black stuff flying out of ted's mouth , a la mile ) . 
atlantis' present-day setting which bookends the film is based on the novel's final chapter , titled heavenly shades of night are falling , and features david morse ( in yet another connection to the green mile ) as a married , middle-aged bobby who learns of the death of both of his childhood friends and returns to the dilapidated boarding house in which he spent his formative years . 
atlantis is nowhere near as flashy as hicks' cedars , which is disappointing but understandable considering the switch from the completely amazing robert richardson to the occasionally amazing piotr sobocinski , the oscar-nominated cinematographer behind krzysztof kieslowski's red . 
the acting is solid from everyone , including hopkins , who never once makes you think of dr . lecter . 
most impressive are youngsters yelchin and boorem , who both had tiny parts in along came a spider . 
while i didn't really have much of a problem with goldman's screenplay , i do need to point out at least one inconsistency . 
goldman , for those of you who don't read premiere , writes what seems like an annual criticism of everybody else's films , carefully explaining why they all suck , make no sense and insult their audiences , while somehow failing to mention the crap that he's penned ( like the general's daughter ) . 
it's mean-spirited but fun to read , mostly on account of nobody else in hollywood having the balls to say anything remotely negative about anybody else in the business ( including michael jackson , o . j . 
and robert blake ) . 
in atlantis , which is supposed to be told through the eyes of young bobby , one would assume he would have to be in each scene in order to have the memory to which to flash back . 
well , he's not , and it doesn't make sense . 
1 : 41 - pg-13 for violence and thematic elements 
"
"1","corey yuen's latest film , "" hero "" is notable on two fronts . 
first this is the film to bring back the shaw brothers studio back to the forefront of film production . 
secondly , the film is the re-discovery of yuen biao . 
the film opens around the end of the qin dynasty , when many immigrants were making their way to shanghai . 
poverty and crime rule most of china . 
a young man , ma wing jing and his brother enter the fabled city and become laborers at the pier . 
tam see is the most powerful gangster in town , having control of the center of the city and having an alliance with the british army . 
wing jing and see become friends during a confrontation . 
their friendship grows as both men start to realize their dreams , wing jing's to be a powerful and wealthy man , and see to settle down with a woman he can truly love . 
wing jing meets the singer at the club ( jessica hester ) and falls in love with her , not realizing that she is the star attraction . 
after stealing her picture from a display , wing jing and his brother plot to impress her . 
first they rob two foreigner's of their money and cloths , and set up a midnight rendezvous . 
unfortunately , wing jing has run afoul of a rival gangster , yeung seung who has bribed the police in an effort to gain control of see's night club . 
the two bothers are arrested and held until they manage to escape just before dawn . 
jessica , having waited outside in the cold with her manager all night , gives up and returns home . 
see decides to retire , he gives the night club to wing jing , as repayment for saving his life during an attempted murder . 
see arranges the trade and ask his lover ( valerie chow ) to take care of wing jing . 
unfortunately , she has sided with yeung seung . 
the performances in the film are all top notch , with fine turns by takeshi kaneshiro as ma wing jing and jessica hester and valerie chow . 
the comic turn by yuen wah , previously known as the mad vietnamese in samo hung's "" eastern condors "" , is a marvelous surprise . 
his gift for comedy is marvelously understated and hilarious . 
the stand-out is by yuen biao who returns to the screen after a string of disappointments , with a stellar performance . 
his tam see is a triad boss who knows that his time is coming to an end but still has the cunning and craft to uphold his pride . 
his gangster is almost non-violent , in that he only retaliates , never instigates violence . 
but when the time comes to fight , yuen biao has never looked better . 
corey yuen directs the film with a maturity and a sense of pacing that has been lacking in hong kong movies as of late . 
the lighting , cinematography and staging of the film are beautiful to watch . 
the action scenes do not disappoint either . 
this is the most aggressive and inventive martial art choreography i've seen in some time , actually surpassing jackie chan's work in both 'rumble in the bronx' and 'first strike' . 
the special effects team deserves praise for a fantastic job of making the impossible look possible . 
an early fight between takeshi kaneshiro and yuen biao on the back of a horse is to be seen to be believed . 
also noteworthy is the score for the film , done in a marvelously lush orchestral style , not representative of most hong kong fare . 
i would dare to say it ranks as high as the scores for both "" titanic "" and "" rosewood "" as best of the year . 
all in all , "" hero "" marks a grand return to filmmaking for shaw brothers . 
this is the film that gives us faith that hong kong cinema is alive and flourishing . 
"
"1","synopsis : in this cultural exploration , a chinese american computer engineer named fang ( peter wang ) decides to take a month-long vacation to visit his sister mrs . chao ( shen guanglan ) , her husband mr . chao ( hy xiaoguang ) , and their teenage daughter lili ( li qinqin ) in beijing after 30 years of separation . 
fang brings his asian american wife grace ( sharon iwai ) and his college-aged son paul ( kelvin han yee ) along , both of whom don't speak chinese . 
the encounter between the two families allows the audience to compare the eastern and western cultures as well as the ambitions of individual characters . 
opinion : sometimes a film is plot driven . 
sometimes it's a character sketch . 
a great wall ( 1986 ) can be called a culture sketch , as opposed to a character sketch because it gently compares a chinese american family to a beijing family . 
fang's family is thoroughly americanized . 
fang is an upper middle class professional who enjoys jogging and argues with his boss . 
his wife can't cook chinese . 
his son has a white girlfriend and complains of racism when fang encourages him to befriend an asian girl . 
meanwhile fang's beijing sister advocates absolute loyalty to the 'work unit . ' 
her husband is a retired official who has heard rumors of american depravity ( homosexuals running the streets ) , and her daughter lili longs for american freedoms in a youth culture where studying for college entrance exams is the most important thing in life . 
the two families spend a month slowly learning about each other . 
there is no ultimate 'answer' or final comprehensive understanding after the month-long vacation . 
the film is neither here nor there ; it's a neutral , meandering , gentle , portrait of life on both sides . 
"
"1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
on december 20 , 1996 , amidst all the year-end oscar bait releases from the major studios , miramax's genre label dimension films quietly released a sly little ensemble slasher flick titled scream . 
although the teen horror market had been given up for all-but-dead in recent years , the film shocked industry observers by scoring consistently high box office returns , eventually topping $100 million domestic and becoming one of the most successful films of its type in history , while delighting audiences by finally presenting a set of knowing slasher flick protagonists who were aware of the all the standard cliches associated with the genre . 
the sleeper success of scream sent shockwaves through the industry -- suddenly , everybody was looking for hip , inexpensive fright films that might be able to reap similar fortunes . 
the strategy of casting young tv stars to draw the youth demographic was given a boost . 
scream director wes craven , previously best known as the creator of new line's a nightmare on elm street film series , was thrust back into the limelight . 
and scream's rookie scribe , kevin williamson , burst onto the film scene in stunning fashion . 
it's hard to understate this last point . 
mr . williamson has , based upon his produced screenplays as of this writing ( scream , i know what you did last summer from october 1997 , and now scream 2 ) , enjoyed a meteoric rise to fame , quickly become the most well-known screenwriter amongst the entertainment weekly-reading , box office figure-watching youth culture since -- well , since that quentin tarantino guy ( whom , it is said , has also achieved some renown as a director ) . 
indeed , in a singularly freakish oddity , it is the screenwriter , mr . williamson , and not the director that has been receiving the lion's share of acclaim for the success of scream , and the print advertisements for scream 2's theatrical release are similarly indicative of his increasing prominence : while the traditional "" a film by wes craven "" drapes the film's title in the ads , right below it ( in equal sized font , yet ) reads "" written by kevin williamson "" , an affirmation of the screenwriter's contribution to the project which may be unprecedented . 
 ( i can envision the board of wga , licking their chops at this coup and counting the days until their goal of "" a film by "" is attained . ) 
and , much like mr . tarantino's screenwriting , mr . williamson's work is vaguely unconventional , incorporating both contemporary pop culture references and allusions to other films into the dialogue of his characters . 
in scream , they satirically discussed other horror films ; here in the sequel , the characters discuss the relative merits of film sequels . 
scream was written in 1995 during the infamous bob dole rampage against hollywood , and mr . williamson's rejection of this tirade clearly influenced the writing in both that film and this sequel . 
while the sequel was planned from the outset -- a treatment of scream 2 was included when mr . williamson sold the screenplay for scream -- the basic premise for the film and the reunion of the surviving characters nevertheless seems extremely artificially contrived , and it's only at about the film's midway point when it becomes engaging . 
like its predecessor , scream 2 opens with a splashy , eye-grabbing prologue which only vaguely ties into the film's principal narrative ; this time around , we're following the exploits of a young couple ( jada pinkett and omar epps ) attending a riotously gleeful sneak preview screening of stab ( a running film-within-a-film gag where the "" true life "" events behind the first film has been turned into a movie ) . 
however , although it tries hard and has some good ideas -- the nightmarishly enthusiastic audience in the film vaguely reminded me of the one i was sharing the theatre with , and i was certainly thinking about gutting the overly-noisy person a few seats away myself after about fifteen minutes -- the prologue is a pale imitation of the bravura opening sequence in the original with drew barrymore ( where her performance not only convinced me that she * could * act , but was so good that it would rank among the best performances in a horror film that i've ever seen ) . 
there are too many knowing , hip pop-culture references crammed into the scream 2 sequence , and the setup isn't nearly as cleverly frightening as scream's ; while the first film's preface dizzyingly built up to a final shot that was exhilaratingly terrifying , the payoff here is almost campily theatrical . 
flash to the campus of a smalltown ohio college , where returning characters sidney ( neve campbell ) and randy ( jamie kennedy ) have relocated for their studies and to escape the notoriety from the events in the first film . 
the murders which open this film result in reuniting the survivors -- single-minded tabloid tv reporter gale weathers ( courteney cox ) roars into town to cover the breaking story , while ever-awkward former deputy dewey riley ( david arquette ) flies in to protectively guard over sidney . 
they're joined by cotton weary ( liev schreiber ) , who was falsely accused of homicide in a cameo appearance during the first film ; his role here is significantly expanded . 
the film incidentally provides surprisingly little backstory , although i suppose a good case can be made that it really isn't necessary -- not because so many people have seen the first installment , but because this is , after all , a sequel to a slasher film : what do you * think * happened to these characters in the prior movie ? 
there's a lot of new faces on the scene too : sidney's new boyfriend , derek ( jerry o'connell ) and her new roommate hallie ( elise neal ) , randy's fellow film student mickey ( timothy olyphant ) , gale's newly-assigned nervous cameraman joel ( duane martin ) , omnipresent local journalist debbie salt ( laurie metcalf ) , co-ed cici cooper ( ms . buffy herself , sarah michelle gellar ) , and a pair of simpering sorority sisters ( rebecca gayheart and sirens' portia di rossi ) . 
any of these characters could be the killer -- or for that matter , could be the next victim . 
as is seemingly becoming a regular staple of a kevin williamson screenplay , the narrative is once again framed around the increasingly-flimsy premise of a whodunit . 
one problem that scream didn't have was keeping you interested in the identity of the killer . 
here ( and to some extent in i know what you did last summer ) , mr . williamson's screenplay seems slightly hampered by trying to turn the identity of the killer into a mystery . 
the film occasionally becomes so bogged down with misdirection that you can sense it straining at the seams to try and drop red herrings left and right at the expense of its thriller elements . 
 ( it doesn't help matters any that the killer's alter-ego is fairly obvious from the get-go . ) 
indeed , the finale plays as full-out camp when the villain is finally unmasked , frothing at the mouth with glazed eyes . 
this is one of those cases where the villain goes on such an endless diatribe about their machinations , scheming , and motivation , that you actually get bored listening and just want them all to get on with it . 
while the basic setup and premise for the film is fairly contrived , the aspect where it's head-and-shoulders above its predecessor is in its suspense sequences . 
they're staged much more imaginatively here ( save for the first post-prologue murder , which is handled in such a mediocre , conventional fashion that it seems to be culled directly from the predictable 1980s slasher flicks that the first film satirized ) , and are much more fun to watch . 
it's hard to hold back a smile during a giddy scene where sidney and her companion have to climb over the incapacitated killer in order to escape from a car wreck , and a cat-and-mouse chase involving gale and dewey in a campus sound lab is very nicely staged , although its ultimate resolution is hilariously overblown . 
in terms of its characters , the strong part of the film is the interesting relationship between gale and dewey ( who ambles onto the screen accompanied by his very own theme music ) . 
their verbal sparring at the outset provides much humour -- an exchange where dewey defensively rebukes charges of a perceived aura of incompetency is well-written -- and there's a curiously endearing aspect about their relationship amidst all the mayhem and bloodshed . 
on the other hand , sidney is pretty dull here . 
she doesn't have any compelling presence , and there's nothing particularly interesting about her this time around to make us care about her other than that she's the returning heroine . 
given this , and the fact that there's no strong second banana character for sidney ( elise neal's role isn't nearly substantive enough to adequately fill rose mcgowan's shoes ) , it's no wonder why the roles for gale and dewey have been significantly augmented for this installment of the film . 
what surprises me the most about scream 2 is its zealousness in decimating its cast . 
the film's mounting body count bears out the fact that * no * character is safe ( well , * almost * ) ; while in principal i applaud this bold policy , at some point you've got to be wondering about just how many characters will make it to the next sequel . 
 ( i was particularly surprised with the untimely demise of one in particular , whose casting for the next installment of the series would've seemed obvious . ) 
but hey , as rose mcgowan's character said in the first film : "" no , please don't kill me , mr . ghostface -- i want to be in the sequel ! "" 
look what that got her . 
"
"1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
it's startling to consider that it was only a few years ago that film distributors would worriedly rearrange their summer release schedules in order to give the annual disney animated feature juggernaut a wide berth . 
the lion king had just cracked $300 million domestic in gross to become one of the most profitable ventures in film history , continuing to build on a sturdy base left by prior flicks aladdin and beauty and the beast . 
since then , though , disney's animated features have shown an unbroken string of diminishing returns , with pocahontas , the hunchback of notre dame , and this year's hercules successively proving less and less potent . 
with the once seemingly-impregnable disney stranglehold on the market share suddenly looking mighty vulnerable , and faced with their first serious competition in the animated film market from fox's anastasia , disney has brought xmas home early by dusting off the feature which sparked the modern revival of feature animation , the little mermaid . 
while the animation for the film is , as is typically the case for disney films , unquestionably top-notch , the magic in the little mermaid is not its animation , but the wonderful innocence of its story and its rousingly superb music . 
the film's storyline is fairly straightforward -- young teen falls for handsome man , father disapproves and assigns hapless chaperone to his daughter , teen disobeys father and goes to desperate lengths to win her man -- except in this case , the chaperone is a crab , the teen is a young mermaid , and the object of her desire is a human prince . 
what makes the little mermaid so affecting and so emotionally resonant is the richness and charm of its characters and the sheer clarity and honest simplicity of their emotions . 
from the moment mermaid ariel lays her eyes on prince eric , she's resolutely smitten , and she's such a pure and endearing character that one can't help but invest their heart with her . 
this simple but touching love story , coupled with a healthy dose of smart humour , makes the little mermaid a remarkably captivating picture . 
one of the interesting things about the little mermaid is something which now curiously dates it : the voices cast for its motley crew of characters . 
this film was produced just before the distracting concept of using celebrity voices became in vogue , which started to a certain degree with beauty and the beast and was irrevocably exacerbated by robin williams' much-heralded turn in aladdin ; by the release of the lion king and henceforth , the majority of characters in the animated films were voiced by celebrities . 
while it's understandable that animated features lacking the name-recognition or drawing power of disney ( say , balto's use of kevin bacon and bridget fonda , or even anastasia's showcasing of meg ryan and john cusack ) would be forced to turn to this strategy in order to hype their products , it's unfortunate that even disney has embraced this policy . 
do we really need to hear , say , demi moore as esmerelda in the hunchback of notre dame ? 
is the film's entertainment value really augmented by hearing a recognizable voice , rather than a voice which best suits the role ? 
 ( i'm not exactly on the edge of my seat for eddie murphy in the upcoming mulan . ) 
fortunately , the performers who voice the characters in the little mermaid , although perhaps more obscure , are impeccably cast . 
chief among them is jodi benson , a 1992 tony nominee for her stage work in crazy for you , who voices the film's heroine ariel to perfection ; with a wonderfully expressive speaking voice full of youthful vigor , and gorgeous singing voice , ms . benson provides a most engaging anchor for the film . 
 ( she's the only reason i'd even consider catching flubber . ) 
similarly , samuel e . wright is terrific in the showy role of sebastian , the weary guardian crab . 
he easily milks his lovable character's comic moments for all they're worth , and his rendering of two of the little mermaid's big tunes -- "" under the sea "" and "" kiss the girl "" -- have become the stuff of legend . 
pat carrol is deliciously villainous and vampy as the evil sea-witch ursula , while kenneth mars' booming voice conveys the stern yet affectionate authority of ariel's father , king triton . 
in large roles and small ( edie mcclurg as dotting busybody carlotta is ideal , and rene auberjonois has great fun with his exuberant french chef ) , the little mermaid is impeccably cast . 
of course , the little mermaid will probably be best remembered for its remarkable collection of songs composed by the songwriting team of alan menken ( music ) and howard ashman ( lyrics ) , who had created little shop of horrors and would go on to compose beauty and the beast and aladdin for disney before mr . ashman's untimely death . 
not only are mr . menken's tunes unbearably catchy , but mr . ashman's charming lyrics are fully integrated into the film's storyline so that the songs are a virtual extension of the character's dialogue , and consequently work wonderfully within the context of the film . 
mr . menken's score for the film is equally top-notch ; the sequence where eric ( voiced by christopher daniel barnes ) and ariel tour his kingdom in a horse-drawn carriage becomes magical and wondrous with mr . menken's fine score . 
it appears that most people prefer the delightfully colourful production number for the calypso-styled "" under the sea "" as joyfully crooned by mr . wright , which won the academy award and golden globe awards for best song -- indeed , one of the many little joys in screening the film during its re-release was listening to children scattered throughout the audience singing along with the tune -- but my favourite is ms . benson's heartfelt rendition of the ballad "" part of your world "" , an achingly beautiful tune of yearning and hope ( wonderfully lyricized by mr . ashman ) which , accompanied by the film's most dazzlingly polished animation sequence , packs an emotional wallop which literally brought tears to my eyes . 
during the song's reprise , which builds to a crescendo with ariel arching on a rock as a wave crashes in , the cumulative effect is nothing short of breathtaking , and one becomes acutely aware that this single instance is one of the finest in animation history . 
as of this writing , november 1997 has come to an end , as has disney's limited 17-day re-release of the little mermaid . 
there's no question that the primary motivation for , if not the film's reissue itself , at least its timing , was to reinforce disney's dominance in the animation market and provide direct competition to fox's costly new upstart animation division and their first major venture , anastasia . 
in every respect , the re-release of the little mermaid appears to be a success -- the film's 1997 grosses have pushed its cumulative domestic gross over the magic $100 million mark ; the little mermaid proved to have remarkably strong drawing power for a film initially released only eight years ago and in many homes on video , pulling in close to $10 million in its opening weekend ; and although nobody could possibly expect the little mermaid to possibly defeat the aggressively-marketed anastasia in head-to-head competition , it siphoned enough from the fox film's opening weekend totals to keep anastasia from the coveted weekend leader spot , allowing for disney's odious flubber to sweep in on the subsequent week and wrestle the family demographic market share away . 
but although disney's motives in the reissue of the little mermaid were self-serving and protectionist , the real winner is the public . 
any reason to put this film back into theatres is a good one , and it's a true joy to see this heartwarming gem back on the silver screen . 
the little mermaid is the best film to come out of the disney's modern animation renaissance , and one of the greatest animated films ever made . 
"
"1","this christmas , little ralphie parker ( peter billingsley ) wants nothing more than a red ryder bb gun under the tree . 
although cautioned by many that he will ? shoot his eye out' , ralphie remains optimistic , conjuring up a detailed scheme to get on the good side of his parents and teachers . 
it could be possible that no one has ever wanted anything with more passion than ralphie wants this bb gun , and the story of his eternal struggle is a charming one . 
`a christmas story' is a favorite among many during the holiday season , and boy , it is certainly easy to see why . 
ralphie's endless desire for the bb gun may transport you back to your childhood , when you were craving a certain gift for christmas and the anxiety was almost indescribable . 
evoking pleasant childhood memories is only one of the many things `a christmas story' does so well . 
here are a few features that make this film such a charming little package for everybody during the holiday season : 
1 ) period detail . 
this film is based on the memoirs of late humorist jean shepard , who shares his experiences as a young boy living in the 1940's with loving detail . 
shepard narrates from a first person point-of-view , divulging his various adventures one snowy december , in which visions of taking aim with his new bb gun replaced that of sugarplums dancing in his head . 
shepard's first-hand commentary of several situations is not only downright hilarious , but also witty and warm , with various metaphorical meanings that ring perfectly with the essence of comic timing . 
on top of that , young billingsley's stupefied reactions to each predicament is absolutely perfect in contrast with the narration . 
director bob clark captures the look and feel of the era with wonderful technicality . 
i can hardly imagine a more accurate depiction of what christmas for young ralphie must have been like . 
2 ) mom and dad . 
both melinda dillon ( as mom ) and darren mcgavin ( as ? the old man' ) are perfect in their roles . 
it's hard to fathom a more agreeable pair for the requirements of a story like this one , with each possessing at least one memorable trait that instantly separates them from the wooden caricatures that could have been featured . 
for instance , he is a bloodthirsty turkey hound , and she is forgiving and understanding when it comes to some serious issues . 
in portraying the writer as a persistent but mild-mannered young lad , peter billingsley has struck quite the chord . 
his performance is richly textured , making all of the humorous situations he stumbles into radiate with flavor and enjoyment . 
which brings us to . . . . 
3 ) the comic situations . 
there are plenty of memorable moments in `a christmas story' . 
moments that undoubtedly will improve in comic potency upon each new viewing , with so much more to explore and to cherish . 
i am particularly partial of the ? f-word scene' , in which ralphie blurts out the shocking four-letter obscenity while helping the old man in the yard . 
again , shepard's method of handling this amusing scenario is nothing short of comic wizardry . 
the numerous sequences that stick in one's mind include , of course , the famous department store santa scene - in which billingsley has some problems in telling old saint nick what he wants under the tree . 
i could go on , but i'll finish on this note : `a christmas story' is a standout among holiday movies , because it captures so much in a meager 90 minutes . 
not only is it funny , it's often genuinely hilarious . . . . not to mention warm , fluffy and touching in all the appropriate places . 
i plan on making `a christmas story' a christmas tradition . 
why don't you ? 
"
"1","in intolerance , d . w . griffith told four different historical stories at the same time , cutting from one to the other . 
each of the stories builds to a fast-paced climax . 
in magnolia , paul thomas anderson tells several stories each just tangentially connected to the others . 
yet the stories and where they are going are all independent . 
what is strange about these stories is that they are all synchronized . 
each story builds to a tense moment ( or what appears to be intended to be a tense moment ) but then lets the tension dissolve . 
while the tension dissipates one character starts singing a song and in each plotline the major characters sing along , even though they are not in the same scene . 
then toward the end the stories each build to a tense moment again . 
it is almost as if the characters are somehow psychically linked . 
this creates some strange effects . 
the stories are about empty desperate people with dysfunctional relationships . 
the strands have varying degrees of bizarre content . 
we have the story of a dying man earl partridge ( jason robards ) wanting to get in touch with his son and make amends . 
phil parma ( philip seymour hoffman ) is his nurse who is frantic to help partridge achieve his final goal . 
partridge's young wife linda ( julianne moore ) is getting more and more anxious as partridge dies , but for an unsuspected reason . 
frank mackey ( tom cruise ) runs the kinds of self-help seminar that businesses like so much , but he aims his at teaching disaffected men how to be real shit-heels in dealing with women in an angry backlash to women's lib . 
officer jim kurring ( john c . reilly ) is a patrolman who has a need to feel he is making the world a better place . 
jimmy gator ( philip baker hall ) hosts a popular children's tv quiz show that really exploits and destroys children as we see from the stories of current quiz kid stanley spector ( jeremy blackman ) and former quiz kid donnie smith ( william h . macy ) . 
the film juggles all these stories for over three hours , but even after all this time not one story is resolved satisfactorily . 
each story moves toward a single bizarre common climax , but it is not one that seems to do much but derail each story . 
the common climax itself is ambiguous in many ways and it fails to really tie up any of the stories . 
the film seems to be built around strange events and weird history , but it really has little to do with the content of the stories , though they all are connected in part by one weird event . 
magnolia will probably bring some much deserved attention to paul thomas anderson , though in my opinion his two previous films , hard eight and boogie nights were better told stories . 
it is interesting that one starts to look forward to actors from anderson's company . 
john c . reilly seems to be a standard fixture . 
particularly notable is philip baker hall who gave a mesmerizing performance from the first scene of hard eight . 
here he several of the characters are mesmerizing , but that characteristic is not really used . 
as studies of characters these stories are each worth following . 
as well-rounded stories with a beginning , middle and end , they leave something to be desired . 
but the film is willing to do the unexpected and that helps make the film worth sitting through . 
i rate it a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low +2 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
heavy spoiler . . . 
heavy spoiler . . . 
heavy spoiler . . . 
heavy spoiler . . . 
during the strange climactic event of the film we get multiple messages from the filmmaker that the event we are seeing really does happen . 
and in actual fact , it does . 
since biblical times rains of frogs have been interpreted as signs of displeasure of the gods . 
it is , however , a perfectly natural , if somewhat unnerving , phenomenon . 
the cause is associated with whirlwinds . 
we know that tornadoes over land can rip up land and even objects of some size from the ground and hurl them into the air , holding them aloft . 
the reader may remember the unfortunate cow in twister . 
smaller objects can be hurled high into the atmosphere and then be kept aloft by the updrafts for surprisingly long periods of time much as hail and chunks of ice are . 
when the whirlwind is over water , animals near the surface , frequently fish and frogs , may suffer the same fate . 
essentially they are vacuumed up by the whirlwind , held aloft by updrafts , and finally dropped elsewhere . 
so while the rain is possible , some doubts do creep in . 
the rain of frogs depicted in this film may be of greater scale than i had pictured for a rain of frogs . 
it seems unlikely the frogs would still be alive when dropped . 
it is not clear that geographic conditions are right for los angeles to have this sort of phenomenon . 
 ( frankly i have no idea on these points . ) 
otherwise the event was quite believable . 
what we see in this film is much more credible than the phenomena we saw in volcano . 
in the film it is left ambiguous if the rain is a sign from god since there are many references to exodus 8 : 2 . 
 "" and the frogs shall come up both on thee and upon thy people , and upon all thy servants . "" 
however a rain of frogs , though it feels biblical , is most definitely not a biblical portent . 
note that the previous verse says "" and the river shall bring forth frogs abundantly which shall go up . . . , "" 
so the bible is referring not to a rain but to an infestation from the river . 
the only other reference to frogs in the bible is as a symbol for uncleanness in revelation 16 : 13 . 
"
"1","contact is the 1997 movie i've seen the most - five times to be exact . 
four of those times were on the big screen , but even on a tv , it's a very impressive film . 
the same can't be said for films like independance day , but that's because contact is a rare example in sci-fi filmmaking where the story is treated more importantly than the special effects , and all of us know looking back that id4 didn't offer much outside of some one-time delightful eye candy . 
contact's wonderfully presented story deals with ellie arroway ( jodie foster ) , a radio astronomer whose preference of study involves the outdated technique of "" merely listening "" to sounds out in space . 
her interest in the field of astronomy developed at a very young age , encouraged by her loving father , ted ( david morse ) , who let ellie use a small ham radio to pick up on frequencies and communicate with people as far away as pensacola , fl ( that was , of course , before the days of internet chat rooms ) . 
while everyone else uses modern technologies to aid them in the search for extra-terrestrial intelligence ( of which the program seti is an acronym for ) , ellie prefers to pop on a pair of headphones and see what she can pick up on , keeping the youthful magic and intrigue strongly alive . 
ellie's strong scientific basis essentially makes her an atheist , a belief likely influenced by the death of her father while she was still quite young . 
in puerto rico , she meets palmer joss ( matthew mcconaughey ) , a writer examining the effects of technology on the world's overall happiness ; a one- time seminary student who describes himself as "" a man of the cloth , without the cloth "" . 
despite the vast differences in opinion regarding a "" supreme being "" , ellie and palmer hit it off , and even take the time to sleep together . 
it's a weak and hurried relationship , but director zemeckis needs it to add to the plot later on . 
meanwhile , dr . david drumlin ( tom skerritt ) , who has authority over seti but finds the program a frivolous waste of time and money , is ready to pull the plug on any and all seti funding . 
this leaves the passionate ellie searching for new sponsors , eventually finding a setup in new mexico and leaving palmer with no explanation , and only a one night stand to remember . 
it is in this nm city where , several months later , ellie finally picks up on a strong signal from outer space , perhaps the most profound discovery in the history of science . 
when the signal is closely examined , many new developments spring up , and before long , drumlin is stepping in to take over the operation he once scoffed at . 
eventually , it is concluded that information in the signal may be blueprints for a transportation device used to teleport an earthling to vega ( where the signal seems to have originated ) . 
the media swarms , fanatics go further off the deep end , scientists clamor for new information , politicians huddle in discussion of appropriate actions to take , and presidents are morphed into a celluloid reality ( remember when zemeckis couldn't get enough of this in forrest gump ? ) . 
as if that weren't enough , ellie's discovery leads her to the nation's capital where she again runs into palmer . 
contact is based on the novel by carl sagan and deals heavily with the subject of science vs . religion . 
the impressive thing is how well both aspects are presented , with no signs of bias . 
arguments for both sides are intelligent , solid , and thought-provoking . 
when palmer joins a selection committee to choose an ambassador to vega ( of which ellie is a leading candidate ) , personal convictions play a more important role than love interests . 
the question is , can a person who doesn't believe in god truly be the best representative of earth when 90% of the planet * does * believe in a higher power ? 
even when the film wraps up , it's uncertain whether it's meant to play as an advocate for religion , science , both , or even neither , and in our modern day society where "" right and wrong "" is only opinion ( at least speaking "" politically correctly "" ) , the ambiguity is an incentive . 
don't get me wrong . 
as much as it sounds like it , contact isn't merely a theology class rolled into a reel of film . 
it's a * highly * enjoyable two and a half hours . 
despite its seemingly heavy issues , it's not a tedious undertaking to watch this film . 
the special effects are outstanding , though ( warning ! ) 
highly depreciated on the small screen . 
even so , some of the subtle visual effects ( that will likely go unnoticed by many ) are even more impressive than ones more recognizable as "" sci-fi "" . 
the storytelling is rich and complete , and although there are moments in the film that feel quite pretentious ( and at times , even hokey ) , it's easily one of the best 1997 films , and one of the best sci-fi films i've ever seen . 
this is zemeckis' best since back to the future , and for those of us who actually know that forrest gump was astronomically overrated , zemeckis now has real reason to boast . 
"
"1","roberto benigni is a clown in the tradition of chaplin and keaton . 
this italian film star , best known in the united states for the poorly received son of the pink panther , has done the near impossible by creating a comic fable about the holocaust . 
but benigni's life is beautiful ( la vita e bella ) is not so much a story of the holocaust as it uses that monstrous outrage against humanity as a backdrop to tell a story of familial love , devotion and sacrifice . 
the movie starts out as a typical slapstick farce with benigni's guido arriving in the small tuscan town of arezzo in 1938 to fulfill his dream of owning a bookstore . 
like many of the slapstick clowns who preceded him , most notably the almost-forgotten harry langdon , benigni's guido has a childlike innocence . 
he ignores the growing anti-semitism of the fascist government . 
instead , guido ardently falls in love and persues dora , a local school teacher who already is engaged to a local fascist official . 
in benigni's tightly wound script this is the same fascist official with whom guido had an earlier unfortunate - yet slapstick - encounter . 
guido wins dora . 
they marry . 
fast forward about five years . 
guido , dora , and their 5-year-old son , giosue ? ( giorgio cantarini ) are a happy family . 
guido has finally fulfilled his dream of opening a bookstore . 
but racial and anti-semitic tensions are on the rise in italy , and guido has determined to do his best to shield his son from these harsh realities . 
the task becomes even the more difficult when the family is deported to a concentration camp . 
here , guido must use all his skill and imagination not only to shield his son , but to keep him from being exterminated . 
it is at this juncture in life is beautiful may tend to offend those whom the holocaust has touched . 
for the scenes in the concentration camp lack the horror , the pain , the unimaginable suffering of a schindler's list . 
true , many italian jews were not deported until the war was nearly over , and most were not sent to the death camps , but to work camps where they were used as slave labor . 
unlike steven spielberg , benigni is not out to tell the story of the holocaust . 
his story is about family and the lengths a parent will go to protect a child . 
for guido , to save his son , transforms the entire experience into an elaborate game . 
giosue ? must follow the rules without question to amass 1 , 000 points . 
the winner takes home a tank . 
therefore , guido tells him , he must remain hidden in the barracks . 
he cannot make a sound nor allow the guards to see him . 
guido explains this during a hilarious sequence when a german guard barks the camp instructions to the newly arrived inmates . 
guido , lying that he understands german and can translate for his fellow prisoners , instead lays down the rules for his son to allow him a chance to survive . 
throughout their imprisonment , guido's quick thinking continually keeps his son from harm's way . 
ultimately , the allies rescue the camp . 
in a poignant scene , giosue ? comes out of hiding just as an american tank rolls into the compound . 
the boy goes wide-eyed with wonderment and delight , thinking he has won the game . 
the price for his victory is most high . 
benigni has succeeded in using the blackest moment in human history to prove that even in hell , a ray of hope and salvation can penetrate the darkness . 
life is beautiful is a fantasy , a fable . 
it is not to be taken as a record of the holocaust . 
those who object to it are missing its point . 
and that is simply where there is hope , where there is life and where there is love , the spark of humanity will never be extinguished . 
committed to lifelong learning through effective communication 
"
"1","larry flynt is a self proclaimed smut pedlar and the owner/publisher of the multi-million dollar hustler publications company . 
the people vs . larry flynt is the story of larry flynt's fight for the freedom to circulate and sell his pornographic magazine , hustler . 
based on a true story , the film is almost a documentary in that it's a very vivid and detailed look at larry flynt's life . 
woody harrelson gives an excellent performance . 
he conveys flynt's peculiarities and his character with depth and focus . 
by the end of the film the audience actually finds themselves , somewhat grudgingly , liking larry flynt . 
this is some feat given flynt's apparent lack of any morals or ethics and his extremely smutty and childish behaviour in court . 
however , flynt has a number of things going for him , he's rich , he's funny , and most importantly , he says exactly what he means . 
larry flynt's wife , althea leasure is played by courtney love . 
larry meets althea at one of his clubs , and they fall in love ( a very sexual and open love ) . 
both of them indulge in a world of too much sex , and eventually too much drugs . 
flynt had been taking an excessive amount of pain killers after being paralysed from the waist down ( which was especially upsetting for him ) by an assassin . 
althea had joined him in taking the drugs . 
following an operation flynt decides to stop taking drugs , althea does not have any such plans , nor the determination to follow them . 
as the film progresses we see her become increasingly frail and sick . 
courtney love obviously has a great understanding for althea's situation , as she is brilliant in portraying althea in every respect . 
it's extremely sad to watch althea literally wither away . 
edward norton plays flynt's lawyer , alan isaacman . 
again , this is a solid performance . 
the audience finds it easy to sympathise with isaacman who somehow puts up with flynt's courtroom antics . 
flynt is not only childish in the courtroom , but downright rude to the judges , and lands himself in a lot of trouble ( and even in a mental institution ) because of it . 
isaacman is very easy to like , and great at proving ( in quite clever ways ) his points to the court . 
milos forman has done a great job in directing the people vs . larry flynt . 
it is not really an exciting or thrilling film , but instead a highly interesting portrayal of a true story . 
due to larry's character it is also , at times , a very funny film . 
however , it is much more than that . 
it is about the fight for freedom of speech , anti-censorship , and the right to be able choose for oneself what to see and buy . 
an excellent look at flynt , his life , and his story . 
keep a look out for the real larry flynt who makes a cameo as judge morrissey . 
"
"1","virtual reality is a topic that has almost defined its own genre . 
since 'dark city' ( 1998 ) , films about alternative universes and parallel worlds have been coming one after another . 
the most popular and original of them all has been the matrix . 
all the films released after it , have been less successful . 
david cronenberg's existenz , released only a couple of months after the matrix , was accepted and even appreciated ( by some ) , but the hype was gone . 
and when 'the thirteenth floor' aired this fall , it was completely overseen and ignored . 
i admit that this issue has become something between tiring and annoying , feeling like eating the same meal over and over again . 
it was therefore i was less than excited , when i went out to see to 'the thirteenth floor' . 
however , i was positively surprised by josef rusnak's latest picture . 
matrix was an entertaining thrill ride through dreams and reality , combining the best of hollywood's action and effects with an intelligent story . 
existenz was a violent , gory and unsettling journey through reality and virtual reality , ending in blood and madness . 
'the thirteenth floor' is somewhere in between . 
instead of going after the crowds - the action audience ( like the matrix ) , or aiming at the horror fans ( like existenz ) , 'the thirteenth floor' presents a more intelligent plot , witch will provide a less entertaining and more serious experience , that the true science fiction lovers will find rewarding . 
in a near future . . . on 
the thirteenth floor of a classified building , a genius scientist , hannon fuller , has created a simulated world , his personal dreamworld , where every inhabitant is a complex , selflearning program that only believes it is real . 
right after the first testing of this world , fuller ( ) is found murdered . 
douglas hall ( ) , his closest friend and business partner , immediately becomes the prime suspect and must enter through the thirteenth floor in search of the truth . 
a beautiful woman ( gretchen mol ) who suddenly appears on the scene may hold the key to the mystery , which might unravel the horrifying truth about his own existence . 
the first "" download into simulation "" is impressive . 
it is the creator's first visit to his world , his creation . 
in order to enter this virtual universe , you have to take over someone's identity , become another person . 
this is called conciseness transfer , and this is part of the tragedy in the film : people "" wake up "" in unknown places and strange things start happen . 
they start to doubt in their own sanity . 
these innocent people pay for the mistakes of their "" users "" and creators with their sanity and their lives . 
it is a frightening reality ; the fact that all the people in the simulation ( the program links ) are living out their lives , oblivious , not knowing that they are puppets in someone's fantasy . 
with an appealing ( "" blade runner "" - type ) of detective story , this film presents the beauty and possibilities of virtual reality and the lurking danger that is always present . 
our modern world is metal and glass -- cold , unfriendly , impersonal . 
the thirties are different -- colorful , beautiful , elegant , virile . 
this contrast demonstrates a wish for change . 
virtual reality is here portrayed as a magical , enchanting power that seduces you into its endless possibilities . 
to some it is just a journey to their personal paradise , to some a personal playground -- a life without any consequences . 
for others - a way to start over and "" correct "" their mistakes , by living in an illusion of their past . 
virtual reality is a wizard that transforms your hopes , dreams and fantasies to life . 
at least that's how it is all beginning . 
but when you're waking up from your dream , the real world seems worthless and unreal and all you can think off is returning to your personal paradise . 
this , almost narcotic effect , soon turns into confusion and ultimately madness . 
some important and interesting philosophical questions are raised -- what is real ? 
what is thought ? 
who are we ? 
if these were answered , this film would be the greatest science fiction ever made . 
they are off course not answered , but posed in an intelligent manner . 
the visual aspect of the film is one of the key elements , since it portrays the contrast between these computer-simulated universes . 
kirk m . petrucelli has done a marvelous job with the recreation of the thirties with its glamour , grace and color ; and setting this world in opposition to our own -- an almost caricatured recreation of the nineties . 
there are some honest and decent performances by an almost unknown cast and harald klose's moody musical score that is at in right place at the right time . 
a rather unusual thing about'the thirteenth floor' is the almost complete lack of special effects . 
there are no cgi animated creatures , no bullets in slow motion . 
this is a more philosophical approach , reminding about the european way of filmmaking . 
this is off course a major disappointment to the audience that is used to endless gunfights and mutated amphibians , but the more serious science fiction buffs and 'dark city'-fans will be pleased . 
this film is interesting and inspiring . 
it has everything existenz doesn't , but it lacks the immediacy and intensity of the matrix . 
and then there is a happy end which , like in 'dark city' , completely alienates it from the rest of the story and context . 
the plot itself is not as original as the filmmakers want us to think , since they have virtually sucked out all information from the best science fiction classics , including blade runner and 'dark city' . 
with this in mind , 'the thirteenth floor' doesn't make an oscar candidate or a film that will be remembered a year from now , yet this is a beautiful , elegant and intelligent take on virtual reality . 
"
"1","i don't know what movie the critics saw , but it wasn't this one . 
the popular consensus among newspaper critics was that this movie is unfunny and dreadfully boring . 
in my personal opinion , they couldn't be more wrong . 
if you were expecting airplane ! -like 
laughs and agatha christie-intense mystery , then yes , this movie would be a disappointment . 
however , if you're just looking for an enjoyable movie and a good time , this is one to see . 
honest , it is . 
this story is about a 4th network , wbn , taking to america's airwaves in 1939 . 
penny henderson ( mary stuart masterson ) , the station owner's secretary , must deal with her overbearing boss , an unimpressed sponsor and writers ready to quite on a moment's notice , partly due to the fact that they haven't been paid in weeks . 
among the mayhem , she must also deal with her soon-to-be ex-husband , roger ( brian benben ) who desperately wants her back . 
unfortunately , her problems only get worse as the night goes on and the body count rises without explanation . 
while trying to woo penny back , roger must deal with the police and try to find the killer that lurks at wbn . 
mary stuart masterson does well in her role as penny ( i'm trying to be unbiased so i won't tell you how amazing she looked ) , although brian benben gets most of the screen time . 
along with the two leads , are several recognizable faces , including corbin bernsen ( l . a . 
law ) , michael mckean ( laverne & shirley ) and bobcat goldthwait . 
the special effects are amazing , and fooled me ( which some may argue isn't very difficult to do ) in many scenes . 
although the movie sometimes goes overboard with the physical comedy , it more than makes up for those mistakes throughout the movie . 
overall , i gave it , or an , depending on what system you use . 
some comments collected from friends : 
"
"1","it was with great trepidation that i approached +mary+ , the farrelly brothers+ latest film . 
i knew the film would be funny--the trailer alone had me laugh harder than the actual comedy i went to see . 
but i also knew the film would be an equal-opportunity offender , attacking the sensibilities of the politically correct with reckless abandon . 
i figured the film would be raunchy , maybe another lucky escapee from nc-17 hell . 
i may laugh , but would i feel better in the morning ? 
i needn+t have worried . 
+mary+ is the sweetest , warmest , all-out laugh-and-grossfest this side of _animal house_ . 
surprisingly , the farrelly brothers have walked that very tight line of making a touching romantic comedy on the side , and filling the details with five or six outrageous howlers . 
they make laughter , the toughest job for a filmmaker to do , look easy . 
the plot is typical . 
thirteen years ago , geeky ted ( ben stiller ) lucked out in having dazzling mary ( cameron diaz ) go with him to the senior prom . 
as luck would have it , on that very day , he was hospitalized . 
why , i shall not tell , but i assure you , it isn+t pretty . 
he hires a private investigator to find her : pat healy ( matt dillon ) . 
he becomes one of the great comic villains . 
upon finding her , he too is lovestruck , and so pursues her , lying about his occupation and getting his teeth capped . 
it is only a matter of time before ted finds out that he had been double-crossed , and goes to get her for himself . 
would the geek get the girl ? 
puh-lease . 
the ending is pure hollywood ; no surprises there . 
but the absolute joy in this film is how this simple premise allows for humor in zippers , hair gel , the mentally disabled , the physically handicapped , interracial marriages , homosexuals , skin conditions , serial killers , tanning , and drugged-up dogs . 
the dog on speed sequence alone is worth the price of admission , and belongs in the film comedy hall of fame . 
and yet , for all the targets that are hit , the film maintains its sweet tone . 
mary , playing the straight role , is as sweet and caring as she is beautiful . 
she is totally devoted to caring for her mentally handicapped brother , warren ( w . 
earl brown--miles away from the cameraman in _scream_ ) . 
mary+s sunniness carries the film here--it compliments the below-belt gags that come at you . 
cameron diaz makes her totally charming , and the audience respects her , even though women in general do not usually undress before an open window . 
ben stiller also fares very well , totally changing his image from his _reality bites_ and _flirting with disaster_ straight men to being a , ( how to say it ? ) , a complete loser . 
braces , greasy long hair , not too bright , and very very funny . 
dillon is exceptionally creepy , especially with his capped teeth . 
and rounding out the cast is ted+s friend dom ( chris elliot ) , tanning addict magda ( lin shaye ) , modern troubador/greek chorus ron lichman , and mary+s sweet mom , markie post ( where has she been ? ! ) . 
not everything works . 
chris elliot+s role , skin blemishes and all , becomes merely tasteless and boring . 
there+s lousy dialogue about eight-minute vs . seven minute exercise tapes . 
and there are long stretches without much going on . 
but the wait is worth it . 
when those extraordinary sequences hit , the entire theater erupted with howls , tears . 
belly-aches , that in some sequences carried over to the following scene . 
the farrelly brothers have finally done it . 
yes , there are some raunchy bits , but when it is all over , it+s not nearly as bad as it could have been . 
while tasteless , it didn+t cross any lines , at least not with me . 
while raunchy , it wasn+t nearly as bad as _porky+s_ or _boogie nights_ . 
and it is sweet enough to be considered a date flick . 
after the funny but sour _kingpin_ left a negative aftertaste in my palate , comes the funniest sex farce since _a fish called wanda_ . 
approach this with an open mind , and you will reap the benefits hugely . 
"
"1","a standoff . 
a man holds a woman , a diplomat's daughter , hostage in his embrace , a gun pressed to her head . 
a cop , impaired by drink due to his wife's philandering , trains his gun on the man's nether regions , threatening to shoot . 
another cop holds his gun to his partner's temple , forcing him to disarm . 
the scene unfolds like a foursome bidding in bridge--upping the ante , signaling tacitly , going for game . 
the second cop retrieves the first cop's weapon , the suspect lowers his , and the woman caught in the middle moves--in slow motion--to safety . 
it is then that the intoxicated officer makes his move , grabbing for the assailant's gun . 
the room turns upside down , a shot rings out , a cop is down . 
shot in the back and paralyzed for life . 
the young man who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time is sent to prison for six years for a crime he didn't commit . 
storytelling has always been one of pedro almod ? var's greatest gifts and in "" live flesh "" he gives us a twisting , turning , compelling tale peppered with well-written , colorful characters . 
characters who find themselves , more often than not , in carefully-constructed scenes like these . 
characters played by actors we might not know , but who look strikingly familiar nevertheless . 
take the ruggedly handsome victor plaza ( liberto rabal ) , for instance . 
before he gets out of prison he could easily be mistaken for that almod ? var favorite , antonio banderas . 
when we first meet elena ( francesca neri ) , the woman in the middle of the nervous shakedown , she looks like spice girl barbie with her frizzy shock of orange hair , but later tones down her look sufficiently to pass for juliette lewis . 
elena's husband david ( javier bardem ) is the cop crippled in the shooting and he wears david schwimmer's bemused expression throughout . 
playing the inebriated cop and his cheating wife are jos ? sancho and angela molina--no lookalikes spring to mind , but they round out the excellent cast . 
it's a credit to almod ? var's craft that these five individuals cross paths and intertwine with such credulity . 
 "" live flesh "" begins and ends with a live birth and the film's contradictions come almost as often as the contractions . 
between the two childbearings , coincidence , irony , and a hefty dollop of sex form the key elements of this thoroughly entertaining film . 
although based on a ruth rendell story , "" live flesh "" is brimming with the acclaimed spanish director's high-heeled flourishes . 
women are at times alluring and repulsive , their extravagant hairdos and animal print coats providing colorful highlights to the intricately-woven drama , an eye bruised by an abusive husband here , a mouth bloodied by an impromptu delivery there . 
while in prison , victor learns bulgarian from an inmate and learns to love the bible , quoting from deuteronomy thereafter not unlike the way by which david and sancho refer to themselves as "" guardians of a sick flock . "" 
victor's pre-fab inheritance is a shambles in a slum resembling sarajevo . 
 "" dear son , i got cancer "" his mother writes to him in jail . 
she dies before he is released and it's at the cemetery that victor is reacquainted with elena--redemption , ultimately , substituting for revenge . 
"
"1","with stars like sigourney weaver ( "" alien "" trilogy ) and academy award winner holly hunter ( the piano , raising arizona , etc . ) together in a single hollywood production , one would immediately identify the film as a potential academy award hot shot . 
sadly for copycat , though tightly scripted and nicely plot , is still at heart , a typical hollywood thriller . 
helen ( weaver ) , after a traumatic near death encounter with a serial killer , darryl ( harry connick jr . ) , has developed a phobia for being outdoors , so to speak . 
incidentally , helen is also an expert on the subject of serial killers , which make her a juicy target for serial killer wannabes . 
a year has passed and strange deaths begin to terrorise the city of san francisco . 
detective monahan ( hunter ) and getz ( mulroney ) , baffled by the unorthodox methods of killing used by the killer , seeks the professional help of helen , who , as expected was reluctant at first . 
copycat "" borrows "" a lot from silence of the lambs and in most cases , it did work . 
but copycat tries to be a little bit more by immersing the audience into the lives of its main characters to give them more believability , this was rather unnecessary as the scenes seem to disrupt the mood of the entire film and also . . . 
much of the time wasted could've been used to build up the suspense and injected with drama . 
even so , weaver and hunter act very well in their own departments . . . 
weaver being the vulnerable yet strong-within character ( as in aliens ) and hunter being the short , tough , texan speaking cop ( as in raising arizona ) . 
harry connick jr . , a very good jazz singer , shines as the imprisoned serial killer a la hannibal lecter . 
which comes to the moment of judgement ( drum roll please . . . ) . 
copycat is a good thriller . 
although the plot is highly predictable and one can actually predict the rest of the movie after about 45 minutes into the show , copycat survives from the moments of anticipation where the audience are held on to their seats , in anticipation of the killers next immediate move . 
this worked pretty well and will offer audiences a couple of unexpected jolts . 
nice movie to bring your girlfriend to . . . . 
"
"1","no , it is not a bad film , in fact it is so good in achieving its purpose , i actually wished for the film to end itself quickly . 
event horizon is not your run-of-the-mill sci-fi film , i'm sure many who have watched this will agree with me . 
it is not even original in that sense , and it does borrow heavily from films like alien , hellraiser and even blade runner . 
the magic of this film lies in its unorthodox setting and methodical build-up that makes it wonderfully horrifying . 
the story brings us to the year 2050 , where space travel have since enormously progressed . 
the event horizon is actually a ship built for a secret experimental purpose ; it has the ability to fold time and space thus making it possible for travelling distances not reachable in a man's lifetime . 
the ship disappeared as soon as it went into operation but after 7 years , it reappeared again within the orbit of neptune . 
a search and rescue team led by miller ( fishburne ) is given the task to check for survivors of the event horizon . 
the designer of the ship , dr . weir ( neill ) follows along to satisfy his curiosity on what actually happened to his otherwise technologically impressive ship . 
event horizon is a sci-fi horror film , much truer to the word than say , alien would ever be . 
while in alien , the crew has to cope with a ferocious creature while encased within tight spaces , in event horizon , the forces which goes against the crew is undefined but yet so powerful and horrifying . 
the story unfolds itself slowly and the suspense buildup is superb , up till the point where i really felt like saying out loud `enough ! 
i can't stand this anymore ! ' . 
there are more than enough jolts to send your adrenalin pumping overtime . 
the story in itself is not exactly something very exciting and also , the acting is only at most , average by most commercial standards . 
even so , the essence of horror is carried out very well in this film , thanks to its well-paced storytelling , disturbing set designs and some really gory sequences ( which incidentally , has been quite generously removed by our censorship board ) . 
director paul anderson ( who did mortal kombat ) and his team of `atmosphere' creators have done well in keeping event horizon within the bounds of the term `horror' . 
this picture did not do very well in the us box-office most probably for the dread-factor impact it has on most audiences ; people will not see it again and not many would recommend their friend to watch this . 
although on the face of it , event horizon is mostly molded for mass-entertainment ; many thrills , spills and suspense to keep audiences in focus . 
however , the offbeat horror element which it ultimately convey audiences is very disturbing . 
my friend and i could not say a word to each other for quite a while after going through the `experience' of event horizon . 
i guess it was just the immense feeling of dread which the film had cast upon us . 
be forewarned , this film is not for the faint-hearted nor for pure entertainment . 
be prepared to be disturbed if you should decide to watch this film ! 
event horizon is highly recommended ? ? but at your own risk ! 
it has been a long time since good-horror embraced the big screen , and event horizon is one . 
"
"1","capsule : earthy , experimental , difficult , shockingly frank ( even for 1997 ! ) , and ultimately refreshing story of a black man on the run from the cops . 
the first few minutes of sweet sweetback's baad asssss song ( yes , i checked -- that's the correct number of ss ) are without dialogue , just eerie montages of sounds . 
a young boy , obviously malnourished , is taken in and fed up by several loving mother-surrogate figures . 
then one of them takes the boy to bed for a sexual initation ( underneath the title credits ) that's far more confrontatory and shocking than any ten basic instincts -- probably because it has the directness and clumsiness of real life , something we're not used to seeing on screen . 
this is one tough movie to swallow , no matter who you are , but that probably reflects more on how pallid and unchallenging movies have gotten lately . 
 ( i suspect the sex scenes in movies like el topo and salo would probably melt the synapses of most modern audiences . ) 
the plot is simple but not simpleminded . 
sweetback , hassled by two white cops who are apparently just looking for an excuse to beat up on a black man , breaks his bonds and runs like hell . 
along the way he moves through a good many of the kinds of environments that we are only just now being seen in a more serious light in the movies -- or at all , for that matter : the slums , the missions , the ghetto . 
in other , lesser , movies , sweetback would be machine-gunning everything in sight and the end credits would roll over a pile of bodies ; in this one , we get taken on a kind of a tour of the depressing and anarchic world that sweetback takes for granted . 
ssbas first appeared in 1971 and was promptly rated x ( "" by an all-white jury "" , as director melvin van peebles crowed in his legendary ad campaigns ) , and it's hardly surprising why . 
there's a good deal of sex in the movie , but it's handled in a way that's unsettlingly frank -- a frankness that spills over into the rest of the movie . 
in one scene , sweetback visits a friend's house in the hope of getting sanctuary there , and the other man chats him up while on the toilet . 
we're not used to coming this close to people in real life , let alone in the movies -- especially not people who are not made out to be glamorous . 
the movie is also full of experimental stylistics that are relatively unused today , but probably because of that seem curiously fresh and new in van peebles' hands . 
one scene , in which a man is interrogated by the cops , is loaded full of menacing energy as they fire off a gun inches from his ears , and suggest his deafness through a cleverly edited soundtrack . 
another note : ssbas is not so much anti-white ( that would be too easy ) as anti-authority , and as the movie goes on to demonstrate , authority exists in many forms -- governments , churches , and even the paranoid inside of one's own mind . 
ssbas is ultimately about thirsting for freedom -- and it looks like we could use a little more of that in our movie diet , god knows . 
"
"1","a fully loaded entertainment review - website coming in july ! 
i didn't really expect very much when i rented stuart saves his family . 
the movie bombed at the box office , and i had never really liked the saturday night live sketch on which the movie was based . 
my real concern , though , was the general reputation of snl-related movies translating to the big screen with less-than-stellar results ( half-baked , anyone ? ) 
i was surprised to discover a truly entertaining , often hilarious yet also touching little film . 
it is an al franken production through-and-through , who not only created the title character but also wrote and starred in the picture . 
for those of you who don't know , al franken plays a guy named stuart smalley , who has a really annoying show on a public-access station about increasing your self-esteem , etc . although not a licensed therapist , stuart smalley is , as the program proudly boasts , "" a graduate of several 12-step programs . "" 
stuart is doing well enough with his tv show , but he keeps getting distracted by family troubles . 
stuart's relatives are a mess : his dad and brother ( harris yulin and vincent d'onofrio , respectively ) are alcoholics , his sister is overweight and getting over another divorce , and his mom is in constant self-denial and solves all perceived problems by baking . 
then , disaster strikes . 
stuart accidentally insults the manager of the station and gets his show revoked . 
he is forced to move back in with his family after he can no longer support himself , and there the comedy truly picks up . 
franken wrote all of the characters not just as cliches or stereotypes , but as sharply-drawn , real people . 
although smalley's dad has always imbibed too much , stuart can still recall times when his father seemed like an okay guy . 
also , after an accident towards the end of the movie , both stuart and the audience learn that there is more to his mother than previously thought . 
although filled with small , very funny scenes , stuart saves his family also has its share of dramatic moments , especially towards the conclusion . 
for a lightweight comedy , it handles these scenes especially well , often better than many so-called "" serious dramas "" of today . 
all the more amazing is that such a movie comes from a saturday night live sketch that is essentially a one-joke bit . 
if you feel like renting a comedy , and you haven't seen this film , i definitely recommend you try this one out . 
you'll laugh . . . you'll 
cry . . . . it's 
all there . 
"
"1"," "" oh my god , i sounded just like a mother ! "" 
mrs . pascal , played with devilish wickedness by genevieve bujold , tells her son . 
 "" didn't i sound just like a mother ? "" 
 "" you are a mother , "" her son marty tells her disgustedly . 
 "" i know , but i still can't believe it . 
i look at you people and wonder , how did you ever fit in my womb ? "" 
marty , you see , is a grown-up twin . 
although his sister , who thinks she is jackie-o , is certifiably insane , marty fits right in with the rest of this highly dysfunctional family in the witty black comedy the house of yes . 
mother and daughter , played in a brilliant performance by parker posey , are both varying degrees of wacko . 
most dysfunctional families in the movies are more angry and mean-spirited than diabolically abnormal as this one is . 
the daughter's fantasy of being jackie-o is probably the most sane part of her being . 
mrs . pascal is the sort that will not let jackie-o keep a hairbrush downstairs since food is kept on that level . 
she explains to marty's new fiancee , lesly ( tori spelling ) , soon after their first meeting that jackie-o was holding marty's private part when she came out of the womb . 
the dialog by wendy macleod , based on the play by mark waters , is so sharp and biting that it seems in danger of cutting through the celluloid at any moment . 
the script , reminiscent of a david mamet play , flows smoothly with its fast paced intelligence and mesmerizing set of bizarre characters . 
the exaggerated setup has lesly and marty arriving at the family's out of the way mansion during a thanksgiving day hurricane . 
in this storm are two sane individuals . 
the fiancee is a giddy , school-girl type , embarrassed by everything , a complete contrast to her rival jackie-o's bitter pseudo-sophistication . 
as the two twins' younger brother , anthony , freddie prinze jr . plays the all-america boy type whose only foible is his explicit obsession of bedding his brother's fiancee that night . 
 "" we all have our secrets , "" jackie-o tells her potential sister-in-law , and boy , does she have a few . 
this is a house filled with them . 
 ( when lesly calls it the family's "" home "" to mrs . pascal -- they've never had a visitor before lesly -- mrs . pascal becomes discombobulated until she realizes that lesly is talking about their "" house . "" ) 
in a film that gives new meaning to the phrase , "" made for each other , "" the twin's biggest , but not their only secret , is that they've had a long-term incestuous relationship . 
they don't like to discuss it , although they are not particularly ashamed of it . 
perfect for viewers who can appreciate perverse comedy , this story never pulls its punches . 
jackie-o tries in many ways , few subtle , to show that she is a better match for marty than that ditzy fiancee of his . 
in one scene marty and lesly are playing chop sticks together on the piano when jackie-o pushes her aside and starts playing a challenging classical piece for four hands . 
marty joins her as his fiancee looks on with envy . 
the chemistry between parker posey and josh hamilton is nothing short of amazing . 
they put down their little brother and most of the other sane people in the world . 
their ripostes are engaging filmmaking at its best . 
director mark waters keeps the show's energy level high and lets the leads sling zingers at each other at a furious pace . 
his crisp direction ensures the movie has nary an ounce of fat on it . 
jackie-o is temperamentally incapable of being nice . 
and being jealous , she cuts lesly down mercilessly . 
 "" were you poor ? "" 
jackie-o asks her when she finds that lesly committed the crime of growing up impoverished . 
 "" did you eat pies ? 
chicken pot pies ? "" 
 "" pancakes actually , lots of pancakes , "" lesly replies with her usual sincerity . 
 "" a donut king , so is she like the queen ? , "" 
jackie-o cattily inquires of marty when she learns that lesly works at a donut king . 
 "" are we entertaining royalty ? "" 
with rolfe kent's whimsically sinister music it never seems clear where the story is headed . 
will it end in a big emotional explosion , a murder , people slowly cutting each other up with words , a familial catharsis , a weather disaster or what ? 
the emotionally charged play is clearly going somewhere , and the engaging characters captivate the audience with their spell . 
i'll not say more except that the ending is perfect and a bit of a surprise . 
the house of yes runs a blazing fast 1 : 25 . 
it is rated r for sexual situations and conversations , mature themes , violent overtones and some profanity . 
the movie would be fine for older and mature teenagers , i . e . , treat the movie as it were rated nc-17 . 
"
"1","i don't know how many other people have had the idea cross their mind that their life could be an ongoing television show watched by another world of people , but it's something i used to wonder about when i was younger . 
i can't decide if i first thought it because i watched a lot of tv or because my brother hit me in the head with a baseball bat , but i'm pretty sure andrew niccol , screenwriter for the truman show , has had the same curious thought . 
the truman show is about a man ( jim carrey ) whose entire life has been engineered by a corporation and marketed to the public . 
since birth , he's been living in the fictional island town of seahaven , fla . , which actually exists as a giant domed set just beyond the hollywood sign . 
all the people in truman burbank's life are actors , and the anonymous townfolk paid extras . 
people watch truman's life 24 hours a day , live , with no commercial interruptions . 
revenue comes instead from product placement , a staple of contemporary hollywood , with truman's friends and relatives describing their consumer items in cheerful and optimistic tones . 
the sun rises and sets on cue and everyone likes everyone else . 
even if you haven't seen the truman show , you've probably learned most of the crucial details from the commercials , the trailer and other promotion blitzes . 
if anything i've written so far is a surprise to you , then i pity you for making me a primary source for your entertainment news . 
either way , you should probably know the premise of the truman show going into it , because otherwise you'll probably think it sucks . 
it begins with jim carrey looking into a mirror , reciting the crucial "" eat me "" scene from alive , wishing his neighbors a good day , afternoon and evening , and living in domestic bliss with his wife ( laura linney ) . 
but weird things start happening . 
a stage light comes falling out of the sky , truman hears people tracking his movements on the radio and he swears he sees his dead father . 
we learn through a flashback that his father drowned when truman was a child , sailing through a rainstorm . 
the death was staged by director christof ( ed harris ) , who wanted to put a fear of water into truman to keep him from leaving the island . 
similar cruel manipulations keep him from stumbling upon the truth , not the least of them truman's best friend marlon ( noah emmerich ) , who assures him he's not in on any conspiracy because the last thing he'd ever do is hurt him . 
as truman's trusting eyes tear over , christof fades up emotional synthesizer music for a worldwide audience of people who apparently never watch anything else . 
there's even a daily behind-the-scenes update from harry shearer that captures the highlights of truman's existence . 
the key to a movie like this is in finding the right balance between humor and drama , because a premise like this has its obvious implications in both directions . 
and it all hinges on carrey , who has to balance comic naivet with a real sense of longing and drive to find out what the hell is going on . 
he's come a long way from talking butt cheeks in ace ventura . 
most fundamentally , it's just plain interesting to follow along as director peter weir shows us just how they can capture a person's life without the person realizing it -- how they coordinate extras , hide cameras and feed automatic lines to actors . 
the most interesting thing about the truman show is that most of us can probably imagine some ambitious director pitching a show like this . 
sure , the most interesting tv genre of the '90s has been reality programming and jerry springer's popularity is through the roof , but those people deserve to be humiliated for turning their intimate details over to the airwaves . 
and when news shows use hidden cameras , it's done in the name of the greater good , not entertainment . 
but merge the two and you've got the truman show . 
right now , it's implausible -- i mean , the fcc won't let you say the s-word on the air ; do you think they'd let you broadcast every detail of a man's life to the entire world without his consent ? 
one day , though , it could happen . 
and , even though it would mean the end of privacy , people would eat it up . 
you know they would . 
"
"1","no filmmaker deconstructs a story as well as atom egoyan . 
i'm referring , specifically , to the narrative form . 
in the sweet hereafter , egoyan tells his story in a similar framework to his exotica or the adjuster . 
said story , of a fatal school bus accident in the small town of sam dent , british columbia , that shatters the morale of the locals , is told in a most unstraightforward manner . 
when the film opens , the accident has already happened , and stephens ( the wonderful holm ) , a polite ambulance-chaser , has arrived with the promise of a lawsuit that will eek out the truth of what really occurred that fateful morning . 
throughout , we get to meet the parents of the dead , broken souls who follow stephens like "" the pied piper "" ( passages of which are read during the film ) . 
but there is one living passenger , the paralyzed nicole ( polley ) , whose dark secrets of a life before the accident may affect her decision to testify . 
we finally do see the accident , about three quarters into the film , which is a stunning visual effect . 
a horrific long take that shows the bus sliding , then stopping , then collapsing into a frozen lake , is the best digital trickery in any movie this year and , perhaps , ever , in a motion picture . 
the fractured narrative also intercuts a preoccupied stephens on an airplane , traveling to meet his hiv-positive runaway daughter , as well as glimpses of the artificially happy lives these people led pre-accident . 
i have a problem not with the story or story structure , but with egoyan's heavy- handedness behind the camera . 
for the first hour or so , i can quite honestly say i was on the verge of tears ; these are miserable , miserable people . 
but that's just the problem : so anguished are these folk that sympathy wanes after a while , when a lot of sadness becomes too much . 
also , a subplot involving incest rings untrue . 
perhaps it wouldn't feel so contrived if it weren't shot in such a tasteful manner . 
there are two characters who are father and daughter ; when they first appeared i thought they were lovers . 
i was half-right . 
nevertheless it's worth-seeing . 
the delightful critic geoff pevere recently wrote that "" american films are about action , canadian films are about consequences , "" hence a recent wave of films about the effects of shock and death from toronto directors , including crash and kissed . 
the sweet hereafter is much better than either of these two films , simply because it's not boring or , in the case of kissed , afraid of its own material ( necrophilia ) . 
egoyan is a fine , fine , postmodern storyteller , whose work is entertaining , edgy and smart , if a bit too intellectual at times . 
though i harped on the weightiness of the material , i was always absorbed , engrossed , and surprised by the sweet hereafter . 
"
"1","i know what i would do with $4 . 4 million if i found it in a previously undiscovered airplane crash site , especially if i were with jacob and lou . 
 ( huh ? ) 
well , in any event , that is the situation hank ( paxton ) finds himself in . 
he and his dim-witted brother jacob ( thorton ) and tubby friend lou ( brent briscoe ) come upon a large bag of cash inside a plane wreck . 
against his better judgement , hank decides to go along with the idea of keeping it rather than going to the authorities . 
the rest of the film is a question of who is going to die to keep this a secret , and is it worth it ? 
a simple wish lies along the lines of very bad things , clay pigeons and even fargo , and is kind of wrapped all into one little dark bundle . 
oh , and its much better than any of those . 
sam raimi took a departure from his normal freak-show horror-monkey films and made this stylish and intriguing picture . 
he really lets the audience sit back and watch the events unfold rather than force them down our throats as many directors prefer to do . 
i think raimi knew he had a winner on his hands and decided to direct the picture on a natural flowing course . 
one of the film's components can be linked to a recurring theme in terrence malick's the thin red line . 
in malick's three hour bore-a-thon , he makes an interesting attempt to link mother earth to his war story . 
it seemed nothing more than an occasional pretty cut to a field of flowing grass , a small bird , or a flowing body of water . 
sure , there were obvious metaphorical connections , but there was no subtlty to his efforts . 
raimi does a fine job of tying in a fox in a chicken coop and birds of prey to signify the future of the characters . 
i think most viewers may miss the comparison , but it is a very intriguing ingredient in the film . 
and then there's billy bob thorton , who is proof that the independent film industry is vital to the life blood of hollywood . 
if it can continute to produce people like thorton , hollywood will be ok . 
he gives a fantastic and devastatingly deep performance here . 
it is not as engrossing as his carl childers character in slingblade , but is is just as complex , if not more so . 
jacob is slow and simple , and yet we so often see him deep in thought . 
i wondered if he was thinking about things that he would never say ( or didn't know how to say ) or if he was just taking a long time to think about the thing he just said . 
here he really proves his worth as one of the best character actors in the industry . 
though the plot is somewhat unoriginal , it has a very appealing new twist in its characters . 
paxton gives one of the better performances of his career as the straight and serious leader of the group ( a far cry from chet in wierd science ) . 
perhaps bridget fonda is miscast as his advice-giving wife , but she certainly doesn't do anything ruin the picture . 
a simple plan can be included in the group of recent small hollywood films that is just dark and pretty un-redeeming . 
but at least this one has an important message , unlike so many of its counterparts . 
"
"1","i saw simon birch in a basically sold out theater , on a sunday afternoon . 
when the movie was over and the audience was exiting , i didn't hear one negative comment , and i didn't have any to offer . 
simon birch is primarily about the friendship of two twelve year old boys , simon ( ian michael smith ) and joe ( joseph mazzello ) , and what destiny holds for both of them . 
simon is a dwarf , who was not supposed to last through the night after birth due to a weak heart . 
surprisingly , he does , and now constantly reminds everyone that he is a living miracle . 
simon thinks god has a plan for him , a purpose for his life , and his condition , he just doesn't know what . 
joe is an illegitimate child ( referred to both comically and dramatically throughout the film as a bastard ) , who's mom ( ashley judd ) won't tell him who his father is . 
simon has more than just dwarfism as a problem , the people in the town don't really like him , because he isn't "" natural "" . 
even his own parents don't care about him , and are disappointed they didn't have a "" normal "" son . 
he is also harassed in church by the local pastor , rev . russell ( david strathairn ) and simon's chain smoking sunday school teacher played by jan hooks . 
the only person , other than joe , that really cares for simon is joe's mom , who he also looks up to as a mother . 
it would be just simon's luck , that he would accidentally kills joe's mom , something you are told at the beginning of the movie . 
joe , now motherless as well as fatherless , feels the need to find out who his real father is . 
with the help of ben ( oliver platt ) , the local drama teacher and joe's mom's current boyfriend ( before her death ) , he will attempt to locate his dad and get in a little trouble on the way . 
most of this trouble is laugh out loud funny , although not all of it is . 
simon will also look for god's plan for him , although he loses a little faith along the way . 
starring in the first ( and last ) five minutes of the film is hollywood's newest dramatic actor , jim carrey . 
jim plays the adult version of joe and does a impressive job starting the film off , and then tying it up just right . 
this is the first character jim has played that is not over the top in anyway , and he does a commendable job . 
simon birch is written and directed by mark steven johnson , this is his first film as director , but he has written several films , including the grumpy old men series . 
he does an outstanding writing and directing job here , the film's structure is flawless and its flows together perfectly . 
the dialog goes from extremely funny to morose without missing a beat . 
the cast is excellent . 
joseph mazzello gives the stand out performance . 
joseph is outstanding for someone of any age , not alone someone who just turned 15 . 
ian michael smith , in his film debut , has such a strong physical presence that you believe he is simon without any hesitation . 
other great performances are turned in by the rest of the supporting cast . 
i loved this movie , it is far and away one of the best films i have seen all year . 
take your whole family to see simon birch , it is a magnificent film- an american masterpiece . 
"
"1","the saint was actually a little better than i expected it to be , in some ways . 
in this theatrical remake of the television series the saint , and its series sequel the return of the saint , val kilmer plays simon templar , an elusive thief who makes a living by stealing things from others for others . 
this movie closely resembles a james bond flick . 
it has the classic bond symbols : a man who can do just about anything and get away with it , a woman whom the man persues , a villain out to achieve something for himself who kills anyone to reach this goal . 
kilmer actually provides a rather good role in this movie , although at times you are left to ponder how he actually gets out of the many tight situations . 
the movie begins in his childhood in a strict school run by catholic priests . 
as a young boy , kilmer's character enjoyed magic and would often journey away from his schoolwork . 
that is until his school teacher finds him reading a book and demands that the young boy proclaim his name , that of a catholic saint . 
he refuses to do so and instead announces who he wishes to be . 
this leads to a devestating mistake , which is something that will stay in his mind throughout his life . 
kilmer's first mission that we are shown is to steal a microchip from ivan tretiak , played by rade serbedzija . 
during a press conference , he must make his way into a heavily guarded vault area , avoiding guards , cameras , and many other potential obstacles . 
once his mission is completed and he is safely home , the fee is paid . 
when he logs into his bank account and finds that he is only a few million dollars short of $50 million , he decides to carry out only one more mission , then retire . 
dr . emma russell , portrayed by elisabeth shue , has discovered a way to produce energy by way of cold fusion . 
this new advancement would change the world and save thousands of lives in the areas of russia , where millions are without heat and are freezing to death . 
the only problem is , tretiak would like to have this for himself and use it to gain power amongst the people . 
this presents the option for kilmer to achieve his goal . 
tretiak hires him to steal the equations , small pieces of paper , from shue . 
one of the enjoyable features in the film is the disguises that kilmer dawns to complete his missions . 
they are very convincing , not only to the characters in the movie , but to us . 
kilmer utilizes one such disguise to lure shue's character into getting to know him even more , which would provide him a means of stealing the energy formula . 
when the two meet , and end up having a sensual experience , kilmer's character is seemingly falling in love with emma russell , as she is falling in love with kilmer's alter-ego , a traveling artist . 
yet , he must reach his goal of $50 million , which requires him to steal the energy formula , putting his feelings aside . 
shue's character is eventually able to track down simon templar by putting the pieces ( the names of the catholic saints ) together , something no one else is able to do . 
when she finds him , they are left to team up and reclaim the energy formulas from tretiak . 
the saint is very action-packed , with few slow points . 
the sound was very well done and added to the many intense moments . 
along the course of the movie , there are even a few , although brief moments of comedy . 
these moments are almost always thanks to kilmer's extraneous , very convincing disguises and personalities . 
all in all , a rather enjoyable movie with nearly non-stop action . 
"
"1","the thirteenth floor , the third in what i would call "" the reality check movie series "" , is very similar to the other reality check movies released this year , the matrix and existenz . 
all three made you think , made you wonder what is real , what isn't , and if our world is just a huge game . 
the thirteenth floor doesn't reach the level of originality , creativity , and curiosity sparked by the matrix and existenz , but it certainly gives a great shot at it . 
in the matrix , we were told that the humans are simply a virus . 
in existenz , we learned that our life could be just a game . 
in the thirteenth floor , we learn that we are just electronic devices , living under another world of electronic devices . 
there is just one world on top of another , and everything in them are fake and electronically generated . 
the thirteenth floor took a huge , risky turn that i didn't expect it to take , and i'm not very sure it was such a great turn to make . 
rather than focusing just on the reality parts of the film , the thirteenth floor becomes a murder mystery that ends up tying in with the different worlds . 
after the mysterious murder of computer program designer hammond fuller , played by armin mueller-stahl , douglas hall , played by craig bierko , a man that worked under fuller for many years , must travel through an electronic computer device that fuller was using , to the year 1937 , which consists of computer generated characters only . 
the simulation of 1937 is just like it was back in the olden days . 
all of the people involved are just characters , or are they ? 
douglas strongly believes that a character traveled through the transport from their world to ours , and killed fuller . 
along the way , douglas interacts with many different potential suspects , and a woman who claims to be the daughter of fuller , jane fuller , played wonderfully by a talented young actress , gretchen mol . 
the thirteenth floor is a plot driven movie from the time the film gets going , and doesn't use spectacular special effects and big sound to keep the viewer's interests . 
i was worried that this film would be too much like the matrix and existenz , and i wouldn't enjoy it , but there were enough twists and turns to keep me thinking and attentive to the film . 
unfortunately , many potential would have been great scenes were thrown away with predictable content , letting the viewer know the outcome of the scene long before it happened . 
the scenes that aren't original or interesting seem to go absolutely nowhere , leaving you wondering , "" what is the point of this ? "" 
sometimes it was hard to believe that this story , with terrible dialogue , some bad acting , especially from craig bierko , and scenes that go absolutely nowhere , are actually true . 
i know this isn't a true story or anything , but a film should be able to make you think that it is . 
on the plus side of acting , we get to see the missing from main character action since the film masterpiece shine in 1995 actor , armin mueller-stahl . 
in the thirteenth floor , he is back and is still giving believable and amazing performances . 
another plus is gretchen mol's realistic performance , creating her character with depth , not just staying in the one-dimensional phase . 
don't expect the intensity of the matrix or existenz to come out of the thirteenth floor , just expect another film that messes with your mind for awhile , and shuts you down like any other movie would . 
thrills , chills , and spills aren't what you will get in this film , but you will just get another trip to send your mind on , scrambling it until you've had enough . 
the bottom line- let's hope this is the last of the "" reality check "" based movies for awhile . 
"
"1","i tried hard not like this movie without succeeding . 
it contains parts of bringing up baby , any hepburn/tracy film , part of the plot of war games , cary grant and rosalind russell in his girl friday , elevator shaft action , train action , and murder . 
it is cute , funny , suspenseful ( a little bit ) , sexy ( a little bit ) . 
one of the bad guys was a surprise . 
the pace is fast enough , there are some "" action "" scenes . 
i think that this is a reasonable family summer movie for families with older kids who have already seen maverick . 
julia roberts and nick nolte are fine separately and together . 
i really identified with the julia roberts character ( wishful thinking , i know ! ) , but i do have better hair ! 
her hair , a very dull dark brown , has no color . 
she could use some highlights . 
they both do fine with their roles : he's a bored columnist with the chicago chronicle and she's a hotshot "" cub "" reporter with the chicago globe . 
they have great fun trying to out scoop each other to solve one case throughout this movie . 
i like the one story focus . 
other actors include charles martin smith as roberts' boss , olympia dukakis as nolte's coworker , nora dunn also with the chronicle , and marsha mason as a congresswoman . 
basically this movie is reasonably fun . 
there is a serious mystery to solve , and i enjoyed following a fun couple solving the mystery . 
it is a pleasant change of pace from movies that take themselves seriously . 
i do give successful comedy high marks . 
"
"1","plot : jet li is a chinese cop asked to help some french policemen nab a bad guy . 
but one thing leads to another , and the next thing you know , li's being chased by the same french cops with whom he was supposed to be working . 
a lot of ass-kicking , face-whippings , gun fights and . . . okay , a little more ass-kicking ensues . 
critique : very cool ! 
now here's a movie that gives you exactly what you're looking for , if what you're looking for is kickass action , a palpable good cop/bad cop story line , some hardcore stunts and jet li slam-dunking everyone in sight ! 
the film also moves fast ( a mere 95 minutes ) , develops a certain "" cute "" chemistry between fonda and li , has nice surroundings ( paris , baby ! ) and gives us one of the best bad guys that i've seen all year . 
tcheky karyo is the devil incarnate in this film . 
he is pure evil . 
they should have called this movie bad lieutenant 2 as keitel has nothing on this man . 
what a great , great monster ! 
my favorite line of tcheky's was when li was explaining the whole "" kiss of the dragon "" thing to him and he cut him off by saying "" kiss my ass ! "" 
pure action movie poetry . 
anyway , other than him , jet li also handled his "" acting "" pretty well in this film , with very little real dialogue to say , but enough to make us believe his character . 
actually , just looking into the man's eyes generally tells you a lot . 
fonda was also pretty good , despite playing one of the most trashy and abused women that i have seen in quite some time , but i still felt kinda bad for her , so i guess she did her job okay . 
but in the end , nobody goes to see this kind of movie for oscar performances . 
we go to see jet li movies because we want to see jet li kicking a lot of ass from side to side , and this film delivers gangbusters on that front . 
and yes . . . they have no wire-fu in this movie . . . i 
say again . . . no 
wire-work , no bullshit stunts with li floating around in mid-air for over a minute . 
it's all straight action , fist to fist , boot to face and all around cool stunts . 
if that's what you're looking for , i don't see how you will be disappointed with this film . 
yes , it's not very original in plot ( just take luc besson's own la femme nikita and mix in plenty of his own the professional et voila ! ) , does have an annoying hip-hoppy soundtrack that just got on my nerves after a while ( i also would have gotten rid of the whole acupuncture thang . . . ) and will have anyone not willing to restrain their disbelief , rolling their eyes all over the place . 
but was i entertained ? 
thoroughly . 
does the film feature more gunplay , martial arts and over-the-top kills that most recent action flicks ? 
yes , again . 
does this sound interesting to you ? 
well , the answer to that question is entirely up to you . 
one thing that i would definitely recommend is , as jet li pointed out himself on his website , that you leave the kids at home for this one . 
in fact , you might even wanna leave yourself if you can't handle the more violent of sequences . 
all in all , a rippin' , roarin' fun time ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
black mask ( 5/10 ) - blade ( 7/10 ) - la femme nikita ( 8/10 ) - lethal weapon 4 ( 7/10 ) - the matrix ( 8/10 ) - the professional ( 9/10 ) - romeo must die ( 3/10 ) - rush hour ( 7/10 ) - shanghai noon ( 6/10 ) 
"
"1","i've never been a member of the robin williams fan club . 
a little bit of his improvisationaly schtick goes a long way , and i sometimes feel as though i'm watching a 40-year-old class clown . 
in his films , williams has often tried to balance his mania with touchy-feely emotion , leading to wildly uneven performances . 
mrs . 
doubtfire seemed ready-made for the same problems , but instead it proves to be williams' best comic screen project yet . 
while it still contains some characteristic self-indulgence , mrs . 
doubtfire is nonetheless an engaging belly-laugh comedy served up with high energy . 
williams stars as daniel hillard , a cartoon voiceover artist with a penchant for irresponsible behavior . 
one such incident proves one too many for wife miranda ( sally field ) , and she files for a divorce . 
unemployed , living in a disastrously unkempt apartment and faced with limited time with his three beloved children , daniel decides to respond to miranda's ad for an afternoon housekeeper . 
he turns to his brother frank ( harvey fierstein ) , a theatrical makeup artist , and emerges as euphegenia doubtfire , a matronly 65-year-old englishwoman . 
daniel uses his access to the house to keep an eye on miranda's flirtation with a wealthy client ( pierce brosnan ) , to spend time with the children , and to learn something about responsible parenting , all the while trying to keep his identity hidden from the people who know him best . 
mrs . doubtfire has to overcome a mountain of implausibilities to work , and basically it does so . 
the most crucial is that no one in the family recognizes daniel , and thanks to the fantastic special makeup that's instantly believable . 
it may be one of the most convincing transformations ever committed to film , making dustin hoffman's dorothy michaels look like milton berle . 
more problematic was a series of calls daniel makes to miranda posing as nannies from hell ; it's a bit hard to swallow that she doesn't recognize any of the voices as her husband's . 
perhaps the biggest contrivance we're asked to swallow is that daniel could make a quick change into mrs . doubtfire in a few minutes . 
there's more to realistic makeup than slapping on a latex mask . 
fortunately , these are inconsistencies which only attract attention as the credits roll . 
during the film , i was generally too busy laughing . 
after getting off to a slow start involving too much of williams' riffing , mrs . 
doubtfire kicks into high gear once the wig and pads are in place . 
daniel's frantic attempt to fool a court officer is wonderful , as is the climactic restaurant sequence , even though i saw the resolutions coming a mile away . 
clearly , most of the credit for doubtfire's success goes to robin williams . 
it took putting him in drag , but for once he plays a comic character that isn't just robin williams with a different name . 
he thoroughly inhabits euphegenia doubtfire , and seems to relish the scenes in which he gets to play her as blunt and foul-mouthed . 
wisely , he never aims for saintly . 
his responses to the intrusion of new suitor stu are often petty , but the kind of thing most of us might do with the benefit of anonymity . 
it's one of mrs . 
doubtfire's charms that neither daniel nor miranda is perfect , just people trying to be better . 
as miranda , sally field is solid in a background role , and pierce brosnan is nicely understated as stu . 
the children are also good , although mara wilson is almost oppressively cute as the youngest . 
the supporting players merely step aside and allow williams to do his thing . 
it's easy to see mrs . 
doubtfire as little more than tootsie warmed over , and it's true that there are both broad themes and specific details in common . 
but mrs . 
doubtfire manages to carve out its own space , particularly through the surprisingly honest moments involving a judge's decision and the ultimate status of daniel and miranda's relationship . 
there's nothing dazzlingly new in mrs . 
doubtfire , but there are plenty of laughs , and good comedies are always in short supply . 
and it's nice to see robin williams just act for a change . 
"
"1","weir is well-respected in hollywood for turning scripts with difficult subject-matter into deceptively simple , powerful films , the mosquito coast ( utopia ) and fearless ( post-traumatic stress disorder ) among them . 
in the truman show , weir essentially breathes life into the now-tired concept of media-manipulation by tackling the material from the inside-out . 
it certainly helps that he has an underrated performer in top-form playing the title character , truman burbank . 
by now you must be aware of the premise : unbeknownst to him , truman ( carrey ) is the star of his own tv series , a 24-7 peep-show in which he is surrounded by actors and placed in loosely scripted situations ; people around the world tune in for the voyeuristic thrill of his genuine reactions to fictitious stimulants . 
`seahaven' , his hometown , and the show itself , are the brainchild of christof ( harris ) , who presides over his creation in the base of a fake moon , directing over 500 cameras and hundreds of actors and extras . 
for 30 years , truman suspects nothing-`we accept the reality we're given , ' poses christof-but a desire to break free of the sunny town and visit a long lost love in `fiji' ( mcelhone , who was actually an actress fired by christof for trying to break the confidentiality agreement ) overwhelms him . 
thus , christof and his team suddenly find themselves working twice as hard to keep the veneer of seahaven intact , lest truman discover the world outside and put an end to the highly-rated program . 
in a few broad strokes , weir creates a convincing second-reality , and he has the good sense not to bring christof into the picture until almost three-quarters through . 
this allows us to comprehend and accept truman's world before we contextualize it . 
for all his madness , christof has shown the world a place without violence and hardship , and demonstrated that a human being can function well within it . 
truman is an inspiration to his audience because he grew up to be , well , so darn nice ; like a sibling ( or , perhaps more appropriately , a caged animal in an interactive zoo ) , they want to see him succeed . 
the surrealistic soap opera is completely plausible thanks to a tight screenplay and a sympathetic carrey-he really is an everyman here , abandoning his facial contortions in favour of a credible , wide-eyed bewilderment . 
cinematically , the truman show is impeccable , stylishly photographed by peter biziou and littered with symbolic images . 
as well , it employs wojciech kilar's piece "" zycie za zycie' masterfully and beautifully . 
if the film has any flaws , one may find them in laura linney's characterization as meryl , truman's "" wife "" ( i doubt that betty crocker impersonation would fool anyone ) , and in a subplot involving truman's `father' , which feels curiously incomplete . 
there are a few stupendous sequences , and the film pulls off a wonderful trick : we become truman's audience as much as the loyal viewers in the film . 
they wear buttons asking `how will it end ? ' 
i couldn't wait to know myself , though i didn't exactly want it to end , for this inspired movie is possibly the best-and most complex-summer picture in years . 
"
"1","synopsis : it's 1977 in a small italian american neighborhood in new york . 
disco music is popular , and the sexual revolution is on , but the people of new york are not happy . 
in fact , they're terrified . 
as in spike lee's do the right thing a heat wave has the city in its grip , and peoples' tempers are flaring . 
the cool of night offers no respite : the neighborhood is being terrorized by a nocturnal psychotic killer who calls himself the son of sam . 
no one knows who the son of sam is , and no one is safe . 
all around new york people are different . 
aside from cultural groupings and ethnic neighborhoods there are differences between individuals . 
in the italian american section of town a philandering husband named vinny ( john leguizamo ) tries to hide his trysts and sexual behavior from his long suffering newlywed wife dionna ( mira sorvino ) . 
vinny's friend ritchie ( adrien brody ) hates disco , works at a gay strip club and doesn't want any of the neighborhood folks to know . 
ritchie's girl ruby ( jennifer esposito ) is trying to escape a reputation as a slut . 
everyone's different , but nobody in the film wants to be framed as "" alien "" to the community . 
unfortunately , the killings help create a climate of suspicion pits neighbor against neighbor . 
opinion : director spike lee's summer of sam is not about a psycho killer . 
nor is it about cops trying to apprehend him . 
it's about differences and how , given the right conditions , even close neighbors can fan the hostile flames of irrational suspicion . 
one thing i found interesting in summer of sam was the use of sex . 
in other movies sex is glamorized . 
for example , james bond gets a sexual reward for winning . 
or boring made-for-video "" suspense "" movies are spiked with gratuitous lingerie scenes just to keep the audience awake . 
and every movie or soap opera character in these flicks seems to have expert sexual prowess . 
not so with summer of sam . 
in a very gutsy move director spike lee shows sex without fantasy . 
sex is there , but it isn't gratuitous or titillating . 
in fact , some of the main characters are downright lousy in bed . 
sex is in the film because ( sexual ) deviance is part of the film's major theme of "" difference "" breeding hostility . 
in my opinion this kind of movie sex is cutting edge for 1999 , as rare and thought-provoking in american cinema as showing a spanking . 
"
"1","part one of "" the strangest movies ever made "" series at www . mediajunkies . com 
by scott watson 
[light spoilers , nothing you shouldn't read] 
existenz has been called "" a gooey matrix "" , and while this is a correct description in some ways , in others it is completely off . 
the only thing the two films have in common is the idea of a virtual reality that is indistinguishable from normal , "" real "" reality . 
a major difference is that "" the matrix "" has a base reality that is obviously the true reality , while existenz does the impossible and makes us accept the most bizarre reality ever as true . 
and oh what a reality it is . 
david cronenberg has shown us before that he knows how to create strange movies ( naked lunch , crash ) , but this one is one of the strangest . 
maybe it's because of how the mundane is mixed with the bizarre . 
technology is organic , but only some of it . 
cars are normal . 
gas stations are the same . 
cell phones are glowing bug like appendages . 
you jack into a virtual reality game using a quivering pink gooey animal like apparatus ( referred to simply as a "" pod "" ) . 
high technology has been replaced with organic creatures , and it provides a truly surreal setting for the characters . 
a famous game designer , allegra geller ( a fine looking jennifer jason leigh ) , flees a demonstration of her latest game , existenz , after an assassination attempt . 
she is on the run ( from who , i'm still not sure ) , and has to save her pod by playing her game with "" someone friendly "" . 
that someone friendly is her dubious companion and security guard , ted pikul ( jude law ) . 
unfortunately he is lacking a fundamental requirement for playing , a bioport . 
sort of a hole in your spine ( ok , exactly like a hole in your spine ) , a bioport allows you to plug the vaguely entrail-looking wires from the pod into you , allowing you to play the game . 
luckily a bioport can be installed easily ( they install them in malls ) , so off they go to get one . 
after a crazy series of events at the local country gas station , they are able to plug in and play existenz . 
the plot itself is a surreal melding of conspiracies , reality distortion , chinese restaurants , and multi appendaged amphibian things ( "" it's a sign of the times "" ) . 
but the plot , while cohesive in it's own creepy way is secondary to just trying to figure out what the hell is going on in this universe . 
cronenberg just slaps this weird organic-tech world into the viewers lap , and it's up to you to figure out how all these things work . 
and that's the true joy of this film , entering the vaguely nightmarish world in which existenz takes place . 
you learn a little bit piece by piece ( oh , they make pods out of those ) , and it's just enough to get you to accept the world that is presented to you . 
there are all kinds of twists and turns as the characters wander around , including a fantastic scene in a chinese restaurant that will leave you trying to assemble something out of your moo goo gai pan for months afterwards . 
also the bioports are occasionally used for things other than porting into existenz , the specifics of which i will leave for you to discover . 
there's lots of little things that set off the weird-o-meter , like the little tiny pods that you can buy in the video game store , the two headed amphibian creature , and why that guy at the gas station's name appears to be "" gas "" . 
it all adds up to a supremely far out trip , and given the choice i think i would rather live in the matrix's virtual world . . . 
oh wait , i already do . 
"
"1","good films are hard to find these days . 
great films are beyond rare . 
proof of life , russell crowe's one-two punch of a deft kidnap and rescue thriller , is one of those rare gems . 
a taut drama laced with strong and subtle acting , an intelligent script , and masterful directing , together it delivers something virtually unheard of in the film industry these days , genuine motivation in a story that rings true . 
consider the strange coincidence of russell crowe's character in proof of life making the moves on a distraught wife played by meg ryan's character in the film -- all while the real russell crowe was hitching up with married woman meg ryan in the outside world . 
i haven't seen this much chemistry between actors since mcqueen and mcgraw teamed up in peckinpah's masterpiece , the getaway . 
but enough with the gossip , let's get to the review . 
the film revolves around the kidnapping of peter bowman ( david morse ) , an american engineer working in south america who is kidnapped during a mass ambush of civilians by anti-government soldiers . 
upon discovering his identity , the rebel soldiers decide to ransom him for $6 million . 
the only problem is that the company peter bowman works for is being auctioned off , and no one will step forward with the money . 
with no choice available to her , bowman's wife alice ( ryan ) hires terry thorne ( crowe ) , a highly skilled negotiator and rescue operative , to arrange the return of her husband . 
but when things go wrong -- as they always do in these situations -- terry and his team ( which includes the most surprising casting choice of the year : david caruso ) take matters into their own hands . 
the film is notable in that it takes this very simple story line and creates a complex and intelligent character-driven vehicle filled with well-written dialogue , shades of motivation , and convincing acting by all the actors . 
the script is based on both a book ( the long march to freedom ) and a magazine article pertaining to kidnap/ransom situations , and the story has been sharply pieced together by tony gilroy , screenwriter of the devil's advocate and dolores claiborne . 
the biggest surprise for me was not the chemistry between crowe and ryan , but that between crowe and david caruso . 
dug out from b-movie hell , caruso pulls off a gutsy performance as crowe's right hand gun while providing most of the film's humor . 
ryan cries a lot and smokes too many cigarettes , david morse ends up getting everyone at the guerilla camp to hate him , and crowe provides another memorable acting turn as the stoic , gunslinger character of terry thorne . 
the most memorable pieces of the film lie in its action scenes . 
the bulk of those scenes , which bookend the movie , work extremely well as establishment and closure devices for all of the story's characters . 
the scenes are skillfully crafted and executed with amazing accuracy and poise . 
director taylor hackford mixes both his old-school style of filmmaking with the dizziness of a lars von trier film . 
proof of life is a thinking man's action movie . 
it is a film about the choices men and women make in the face of love and war , and the sacrifices one makes for those choices -- the sacrifices that help you sleep at night . 
"
"1","i must admit i'm going to be a bit biased in my review of the new romantic comedy serendipity , because that also defines how i met my current girlfriend . 
the magic and mystery of our fated encounter is also embodied in the quirkiness and freshness of the very funny and very romantic serendipity . 
i am not a big fan of the romantic comedy genre , but something drew me to this film . 
maybe it was the casting of the underrated jeremy piven in a supporting role , and the hilarious eugene levy . 
maybe it was my hope that john cusack would get the redemption he justly deserves after such crap as high fidelity , con air , and pushing tin . 
but maybe it was because i feel as giddy as a school kid right now with this whole romantic thing currently in my life . 
the story of serendipity is simple . 
two people , john trager ( john cusack ) and sara thomas ( kate beckinsale , looking ever so hot ) , have a chance encounter over a pair of gloves -- with buck henry smack dab in the middle . 
charmed beyond repair , these two knuckleheads grab a sundae together at a caf ? called serendipity , talk about that irresponsible thing called fate and the avenues it leads people down , and spend a few hours at the local ice skating rink . 
but with each of them already involved with other parties , sara has john write his name and number on a $5 bill and she writes her name and number on a copy of love in the time of cholera . 
sara declares that if this "" thing "" -- let's just call it love -- is destined to happen , fate will bring them together in the future . 
years later and on opposite coasts of america , john and sara -- both engaged but still unsure whether they have found their soul mates -- decide to seek each other out to rest their doubts . 
what happens then is an enjoyable and often hilarious cat-and-mouse game with the fates - involving such items as mistaken identity , a graduate homage , john corbett as a freaky new age musician , and eugene levy as an irate and crazed salesman -- to find out if that "" thing "" was right after all . 
fortunately , first-time screenwriter marc klein has sketched strong , well-rounded , characters to propel a predictable and corny narrative . 
coupled with deft directing by michael chelsom ( director of the very unfunny town and country and the very funny funny bones ) and the use of time-lapse camera work to illustrate the passage of years -- the film comes off with genuine believability and sincerity . 
both piven and molly shannon make nice sidekick characters 
on the flipside , films such as you've got mail , made in heaven , and even high fidelity are the quiet inspirations for the film's main journey at hand . 
but it's what happens to the unexpecting characters left behind in the romantic wake after john and sara find happiness this is the most unsettling part of the picture . 
"
"1","in some regards , making a movie is like trying to stretch a rubber band as far as you can without breaking it . 
try too hard , and it snaps ; but too much reservation means someone else will come along and pull it farther . 
in simon birch , director mark steven johnson shows us just how to master the technique : he takes advantage of caution and poise , but also risks his movie with a few bold steps . 
in the end , he's not only holding an unbroken band , but he makes the audience appreciate the lengths he went to direct such a fine feature . 
there's no doubt about it : the film that johnson has crafted is rich . 
he chooses for his setting the quaint town of gravestown , maine - leaves turn bright orange in the fall , the grass is a lush green , pure white snow falls in the winter , and the sky goes on forever . 
the characters continue that turn : our two leads are simon birch ( ian michael smith ) and joe wenteworth ( joseph mazzello ) . 
simon is the smallest baby ever born within the records of the local hospital , and by age twelve he's only two feet tall . 
joe is the bastard son of rebecca ( ashley judd ) , and by age twelve he's ready to know who is father is . 
naturally , the two outcasts become good friends and share many adventures together , from disrupting sunday school to doing community service to playing little league baseball . 
in a wonderfully executed performance by ian michael smith , simon birch is convinced that he's god's instrument , and there must be a reason he's so small . 
joe doesn't quite buy it , but he sticks by simon ; the two tough it out through the worst of times and are each other's only true friends . 
early on , the two meet up with ben goodrich ( oliver platt ) , rebecca's new boyfriend , and although the bond isn't immediate , ben and the two boys develop a liking for each other . 
both platt and judd give solid performances that lend their characters a deep likeability . 
the audience cares about them as much as they do about joe and simon , a testament to the acting jobs of both . 
finally , jim carrey gives a cameo as the adult joe in the present day , and his few minutes here are relatively more impressive than his entire performance in the truman show . 
mark steven johnson's sense of drama and writing is fantastic . 
the script is loosely based on john irving's novel , a prayer for owen meany , but it's so far off the source material that irving actually requested the credits be changed from 'based on' to 'suggested by . ' 
along those same lines , it's almost unfitting to compare the two ; johnson uses tension , humor , atmosphere , and suspense to create an original drama of forrest gumpian proportions . 
by no means has he developed a project of similar popularity - gump made over 300 million dollars while birch ought to pass out of sight in a few weeks - but the winning idea remains the same . 
simon birch is a different look at a different life , and one that will most likely be studied in film school classes in decades to come . 
in the present , however , it's an enjoyable little picture that everyone ought to take a look at . 
"
"1","on the basis of this film alone , i never would have predicted that , in two years , quentin tarantino would become the country's biggest hotshot director . 
reservoir dogs has hints of the tarantino brilliance that emerged in pulp fiction , but is a much less substantive , more conventional crime story than the big pf . 
here's what the two movies do have in common . . . 
--scenes of intelligent , amusing dialogue with no relevance to the plot --a story that jumps back and forth in time rather than going in a logical , chronological sequence --graphic yet necessary violence --an engaging crime story --dialogue liberally spiced with swear words and racial/gender slurs --three of the same actors ( harvey keitel , tim roth and steve buscemi ) --a mexican standoff ending , although this one is considerably less optimistic than pf 
reservoir dogs is an entire hour shorter than pulp fiction because it's only got one story to tell rather than three . 
crime lord joe cabot ( veteran actor lawrence tierney ) has assembled five criminals who have never even met each other to pull a diamond store heist . 
the five are instructed not to reveal their real names or personal details or anything the cops could use if one of them was captured and interrogated . 
instead , they are all given code names off the color chart -- mr . white ( keitel ) , mr . pink ( buscemi ) , mr . orange ( roth ) , mr . blonde ( michael madsen ) , mr . brown ( tarantino ) and mr . peach ( tarantino's chin ) . 
most of the movie's running time is spent with mr . white and pink waiting at a warehouse for the others to arrive . 
mr . orange , meanwhile , is on the floor , dying from a gunshot wound . 
the police had arrived at the scene of the crime way too soon , leading white to believe one of the five was an informant . 
the story's background unfolds through a series of flashbacks , of the crime itself and the meetings between joe and the criminals prior to the crime . 
eventually , blonde arrives with a police officer hostage , and what follows is a truly brutal , uncomfortable torture scene . 
let's just say picasso would be inspired by what blonde does to the cop's ear . 
a lot of the time , reservoir dogs seems like your typical gangster heist-gone-wrong movie , but there are a few sequences that are uniquely tarantino . 
the opening scene in the coffee shop starts the movie off on a high note the rest of it doesn't live up to , as the criminals plus joe have a conversation on , among other things , tipping philosophies and their interpretations of madonna's "" like a virgin . "" 
another scene involves roth's lengthy manufactured story about running into a group of cops and a police dog in a bus station bathroom while carrying a giant bag of marijuana . 
neither of these have much plot relevance but are given ample time to develop , like the captain koons gold watch speech in pulp fiction , only here these sequences are more enjoyable than the rest of the movie . 
reservoir dogs is good but it's no pulp fiction . 
"
"1","it's a fact that a good thriller or action movie doesn't need violence to be good or worth watching . 
all it takes is potential violence to make the audience bite their nails . 
and what kind of violence could be more efficient than a global thermo-nuclear war ? 
and potential violence is the premiss wargames is built upon . 
a computer whiz-kid , david , is usually contended with hacking into the school computer to change his grades . 
but after having read an advertisment for an upcoming computer game , he wants to be the first to play it . 
instead of getting into the computer at protovision software he accidentally comes to the frontgate of norad . 
with the help of jennifer , a girl in his biology class , he starts to play a nice game of nuclear war with wopr , war operation plan response ( a top-notch computer at the time , but now hardly faster than my own computer ) 
i remember being 12 and watching this at the cinema . 
it was very efficent at giving you a scare in those days and that hasn't changed . 
of course , a nuclear war seemed to be much more of something that could actually happen back in 1983 . 
i wouldn't be surprised if this gave people nightmares . 
i hope it still does since you still hear about school kids hacking into the computers at pentagon . 
broderick and sheedy are just fine as the young teenagers ( although her interest in david remains a mystery ) . 
but the rest of the actors are , by no fault of their own , restricted by the script to play one-dimensional grownups . 
david's parents are the same kind of parents that populate all these college comedies from the 1980s , movies like secret admirer , porky's or zapped and the norad general beringer is straight out of dr . strangelove . 
if for no other reason , you should see this movie to enjoy how far the computer technology has gone since those days . 
david uses the same telephone for calling friends as calling other computers . 
the modem is some kind of device that he puts the headset on . 
far from any 56k modem my guess is that it's some kind of 2400 bps modem , the kind of technology you now find at your local technical museum . 
the big computer at norad has a lot of flashing lights ( just like those you see on star trek or any old sf-movie ) but it's hardly impressing compared with what you can get today . 
what are the lessons we can learn from wargames ? 
1 . 
make sure there are no secret backdoors into military computers . 
2 . thank you , whoever it was , for giving us a graphical user interface when we use our computers ! 
"
"1","there exists a litany of differences between a successful action movie and a successful suspense movie . 
action movies are typically devoid of plot other than a simple byline which can string together several explosive sequences , while suspense movies hinge on plot and subtlety and the ability to bring everything full-circle . 
for fans of both genres , however , realism is key . 
action fans want to know that the weapons and methods their heroes are using are authentic , and suspense fans want everything to fall into an explainable framework by the movie's end . 
on this advice , director john frankenheimer ( the island of dr . 
moreau ) strives for realism in an interestingly dynamic balance of suspense and action for his latest thriller , ronin . 
the depth of intrigue in ronin is quite amazing , considering the fare that's fallen into the same category over the last few years . 
the script , written by j . d . zeik in his big-screen debut , approaches levels of complexity that had people spinning away from mission : impossible two years ago . 
a certain number of people will be lost by this , but afficianados will appreciate it all the more and return multiple times . 
frankenheimer masters the script with poise , and tells us a dark but stoically realistic tale of a group of post-cold war mercenaries working to earn their paycheck . 
his ability to convey feeling and character while promoting explosiveness and tense atmosphere works well here , and ronin becomes a better movie because of it . 
robert de niro headlines this cast of noteworthies in a performance that is the most outstanding of his in quite some time . 
he takes command and offers much gravity as the ex-spy sam , a man who's called to france to help a shady operations controller named dierdre ( natascha mcelhone ) recover a package . 
the package becomes the central motivator for the entire cast , especially once the requisite double-crossing begins , and its role is skillfully penned by zeik . 
at times , however , zeik's tale becomes almost too reminiscent of mission : impossible - de niro might easily become tom cruise , the package might become cruise's computer disk . 
fortunately , the focus here is almost entirely on the package , whereas in mission the script was more concerned with the double-cross and why it happened . 
the action content is impressive , and it lives up to the hints given in previews . 
the only fans who will be disappointed are those who expect full-blown combat scenes and instead are forced to suffer through moments of slowness . 
ronin does take a degree of intelligence to follow all of the nuance from start to finish , but even the uninitiated will be able to keep a grasp on most characters mand subplots . 
the suspense tapers off considerably by the end , a bit of a drawback because of its height at the movie's open . 
considering these factors it's good to see that ronin was a project that turned out well , and it's another good bet this month . 
since quality is usually sparse during the early fall months , it's definitely worth the visit . 
"
"1","jay and silent bob strike back , kevin smith's swan song to his two most famous characters , is the best received comedy that i've seen since there's something about mary , which is a tea party in comparison to the foul-mouthed humor in jay and silent bob strike back . 
the audience didn't just laugh ; they went wild with boisterous laughter and heavy applause throughout . 
in short , if you like really raunchy humor , you may find it , as i did , to be the funniest movie of the year . 
 ( on the other hand , if you are one of those who walked out in disgust with smith's dogma , then jay and silent bob strike back is not the movie for you . ) 
in one of the fastest paced movies of the year , the story has jay and silent bob ( jason mewes and kevin smith ) , a pair of card carrying drug dealers , traveling from their new jersey convenience store home to hollywood so that they can stop a movie . 
it seems their comic book alter egos , bluntman and chronic , are being used in a movie without jay and silent bob's consent . 
jason biggs and james van der beek are slated to star in it . 
jay and silent bob strike back has more and better used cameos than just about any movie that i've ever seen . 
among others , they include carrie fisher as a bible-toting nun , mark hamill as a comic book version of his famous alter ego and gus van sant as a director too busy counting his money to yell , "" action ! "" 
best of all are ben affleck and matt damon who mock themselves and their movies . 
the film stops several times to make fun of itself and of the audience who was "" stupid "" enough to buy tickets to this movie . 
 ( actually , purchasing tickets to this film is extremely smart given that it delivers more laughter per dollar than anything in recent memory . ) 
the film even skewers people who write about movies on the internet . 
guilty . 
although it's filled with inside jokes , you'll still be laughing even if you only get some of them . 
it's easy to understand enough so that they are still funny . 
jay is a motor mouth who hasn't met a subject that he couldn't vulgarize . 
his favorite topic is oral sex , but , being an equal opportunity profaner , he's willing to make crude jokes about absolutely anything . 
but it is his buddy , the aptly named silent bob , who is responsible for most of the movie's success . 
his reaction shots , with his wildly exaggerated eye movements , are comedic gems . 
the story's main subplot concerns four animal rights activists , justice ( shannon elizabeth ) and her three sexy buddies , sissy ( eliza dushku ) , missy ( jennifer schwalbach smith ) and chrissy ( ali larter ) . 
these charlie's angels types give a ride to our heroes on their trek to lalaland to stop the picture . 
jay tries to put the moves on justice , but he doesn't stay in command of the situation for long . 
one of the funnier sight gags has the women using a pink , clam-shaped , birth control case that contains high tech gadgetry . 
granted , it's not the movie for everyone , but , if you like kevin smith's brand of humor , you'll find that this is his best . 
and , as i said earlier , it's the funniest movie of the year thus far . 
no , wait . 
forget , `thus far . ' 
it's bound to be the funniest movie of the year . 
in a time when almost every movie feels obligated to come in at pg-13 so that they can rake in the maximum cash , it's great to see a filmmaker with the guts to target only a mature audience . 
jay and silent bob strike back runs a lightening fast 1 : 35 . 
it is rated r and contains pervasive crude humor and language and sexual situations . 
it would be acceptable for high school seniors and older . 
the film opens nationwide in the united states on wednesday , august 22 , 2001 . 
in the silicon valley , it will be showing at the amc and the century theaters . 
"
"1","damn those trailers . 
had it not been for the advertising of this film , which reveals far too much about its contents , i would have been glued to `under the sand' . 
as it is , the film retains some value , thanks to an excellent performance by charlotte rampling , and a more mature francois ozon in the director's chair . 
marie ( charlotte rampling ) and her husband jean ( bruno cremer ) lounge on the beach . 
she takes a nap while he goes for a swim . 
when marie wakes up , jean is nowhere to be found . 
she contacts authorities , but they can't find him either . 
did he disappear to start a new life ? 
was he killed by accident ? 
did he commit suicide ? 
marie still asks herself these questions a year later , and in order to move on with her life , she must find some answers . 
it's a fine premise , and this little movie uses it to the limit . 
the film moves at a leisurely pace , a bit slow , but relaxing . 
it's a very visual story , and you can pretty much just sit back without reading the subtitles . 
this is mostly thanks to the excellent camera work by antoine heberle and jeanne lapoirie , who shot the film in a dreamy haze , and the lead performance by rampling . 
rampling is so expressive in her portrayal of marie , you connect with her character instantly , despite that she's delusional . 
the scenes where she interacts with her husband , who she still believes is alive , are heartbreaking . 
she can't quite get over him . 
they've been married for twenty-five years . 
the other actors , particularly jacques nolot , are excellent too . 
the sex in the film is rather unneeded , but compared to ozon's `criminal lovers' , it's the disney channel . 
likely to cause some discussion afterwards , `under the sand' is a fine movie going experience . 
while it's hard to recommend as entertainment , it's a fine adult alternative about how we deal with loss . 
ozon seems to ask what you would do , and that's certainly a hard question to answer . 
"
"1","bob the happy bastard's quickie review : 
rush hour 
so what's the problem with 48 hours clones these days ? 
they always try for the same thing that eddie murphy and nick nolte had . 
that was the problem that plagued these clones , not to mention the actual sequel : another 48 hours , a complete waste of film . 
but , at last , someone has a different take on the matter , and it's director brett rainer . 
rush hour features jackie chan in his first u . s . action movie , playing a chinese detective who's being flown to the us to investigate the kidnapping of the chinese consulate's daughter . 
of course , the fbi is upset that he'll be interfering in their investigation , and stick him with an lapd office with a big mouth- of course , that's chris tucker . 
what makes rush hour work so damn well is the chemistry between the energetic chan and the absolutely hilarious tucker . 
tucker mouths off to chan at every given opportunity ( "" i'm michael jackson , you tito . "" ) , and chan delivers a few zingers of his own , as well as some terrific fight scenes . 
the story's pretty much your average fare , but with a decent twist involving the main villain , a highly clouded figure named jun tao . 
at least it's entertaining , and the concept is excellently realized . 
a particular fight scene in a chinese office , where chan and tucker duke it out with the bad guys , is funny and energetic at the same time . 
and the finale's a real treat as well . . . chan 
delivers yet another fantastic stunt for the fans with a 10-story drop . 
rush hour is just the sort of film you'll get a kick out of on any night of the week . 
just make sure you don't look for anything culturally different and you'll be fine- drunken master ii this ain't . 
"
"1","this sunday afternoon i had the priviledge of attending a private screening at the sony astor cinema in new york city , of james cameron's most heralded film , titanic . 
postponed from last summer , with an escalated budget that makes it the most expensive movie in history , this was one film i was eager to preview . 
so , is this movie going to sink or swim this holiday ? 
my best guess . . . . it will sink , though with many awards attatched to its hull . 
no doubt , titanic is the most elaborate disaster movie ever made . 
it boasts the most amazing effects that i have ever seen done to date . 
to see a ship fall apart , with actual people running across the ship , flying across the deck , and falling to the water , is just amazing to look at . 
the effects are so stunningly realistic , you would swear you were looking at actual footage . 
but titanic is more than a disaster movie , and that's where the problem lies . 
there is a love story attatched that nearly ruins the entire premise . 
i'll give a capsule summary of the story without spoiling anything for you : 
the film begins with a modern day excavation of sorts of the sunken titanic . 
we see actual footage of the sunken ship , as cammeron had set up special cameras to film the wreckage on the ocean floor . 
bill paxton leads the expedition , in search of sunken treasure . 
what he finds instead , leads him to a mysterious old woman who recounts her tale of the titanic voyage . 
we meet rose ( kate winslet ) , a young woman , who comes from an upper-class family . 
rose is to be wed to a man she does not love . 
we meet jack ( leonardo dicaprio ) , a young man , who comes from a poor financial background , and wins a ticket aboard the titanic , in a poker game . 
the two meet under interesting circumstances , and the love story begins . 
add in a jealous fiance , and a not-so-nice law officer played by david warner , and you have a story that , well , gets a bit overplayed and oversappy . 
i must add , at this point , that the most likeable character in the movie is played by kathy bates , as a woman with "" new money "" who is a lot less uptight than the other rich folk on the ship . 
she is a pleasure to see on screen . 
when the ship does hit the iceberg at exactly 1 : 40 into the film , and eventually sinks , you never really feel for any of these characters . 
the film is just loaded with unlikeable rich snobs and other folk you never really get a grasp on . 
the effects are tremendous . 
from the roars of gears and pumps in the engine room , to a doomed ship cracking at the seams , this is an effects picture that looks and sounds like no other . 
we saw titanic in dolby digital surround , and by far , it is the best sounding movie i have ever seen . 
my friend commented it was the best sound mix he has ever heard . 
when people are in the water , at film's end , you are surrounded by the voices of lost soles . 
titanic runs far too long . 
the movie is 3 hours and 15 minutes in length . 
and , while most of the first 2 . 5 hours runs very fast and well-paced , the final 45 minutes almost comes to a sudden stop , and you realize that this sappy love story has to finish itself out before the movie finally ends . 
don't get me wrong about titanic . . . . it's 
not a bad as i am making it out to be . 
it really is an exceptionaly well-made film . 
the costumes and sets are incredible , and true to the time period . 
the ship is painstakingly created exactly true to form , as we see actual pictures of the modern-day wreckage , transformed into the movie depiction . 
this film will certainly win on effects , costume , set design and sound . 
cameron has certainly made his best film to date . 
unfortunately , titanic is not a best picture candidate . 
it just doesn't have a strong supporting story . 
it's an exceptional disaster film with sappy filler inside . 
it just doesn't have the emotional impact that i suspect mr . cameron was shooting for . 
i predict that titanic will open to likeable reviews . 
it is a film worth seeing . 
i predict that it will only do moderately well at the box office . 
with its extreme running time , and lack of enough robust to get substantial word-of-mouth , i expect that it will do even better on home video . 
this will certainly be the definitive ac3 movie for all you home theater enthusiasts . 
titanic opens december 19th , and is released by paramount pictures and twentieth century-fox . 
i give titanic 3 stars ( . 
that's not bad . 
ron epstein 
riginally posted in home theater forum === 
"
"1","a common complaint amongst film critics is "" why aren't there more literate scripts available ? "" 
quiz show gives signs of hope that the art of writing isn't dead in hollywood and that we need not only look to independent films for thoughtful content . 
paul attanasio's script takes what could have been a tepid thriller ( the quiz show scandals of the late 50s ) and delivers a telling parable about the emptiness of the post war american dream and the golden bubble that surrounds and protects tv networks and their sponsors . 
the film is riddled with telling symbols ( e . g . 
a '58 chrysler , a radio announcement of sputnik ) but is never heavy handed . 
deft direction by robert redford and keen performances by ralph fiennes , john turturro and rob morrow dovetail perfectly with the carefully honed script . 
redford departs from the usually overlight , "" cable tv quality "" sets and camera work so common in recent 20th century period pieces . 
quiz show perfectly captures the colors and textures of the eisenhower years . 
although i was only 4 years old when the "" twenty one "" scandal broke , enough of the 50s icons survived throughout my childhood for me to recognize the authenticity of redford's almost tangible palette . 
from plastic covered furniture to carefully coifed contestants , the images ring true from that era of rampant consumerism , of a generation that had gone through 15 years of depression and world war without "" disposable income , "" before the manifestation of its american dream . 
the film deftly weaves several themes together , from assimilation and exclusion of jews from "" the good life , "" to the lengths that a scion of a literary family will go to to match his father's fame . 
though the 50s audience that is "" rocked "" by this scandal may initially seem naive to us , they should appear all too familiar , with our current national passion for the rise and fall of icons like michael jackson or tonya harding . 
charles van doren and herbie stemple were the overnight mega celebrities of their day . 
the tv audience is almost a fourth main character , always at the center of the decisions being made on their behalf . 
at the film's end , the credits roll past slow motion footage of that same 50s tv audience , mindlessly laughing at some piece of fluff . 
like the distorted mirror that captured a blurred swastika at the end of cabaret , this "" mirror "" may reflect an image we're not all that comfortable with . 
"
"1","whew . this film oozes energy , the kind of breakneck , no- holds-barred , in-your-face risk-taking filmmaking that is seldom seen on screen these days . 
like the marginal , motley bunch of post-apocalyptic youths director danny boyle tries to depict , trainspotting veers on the edge of utter mayhem but ultimately retains its footing and control . 
the result : a movie that is a delightful example of how the medium is the message . 
the message : a bunch of losers with loser names , mark renton ( ewan mcgregor ) , spud ( ewan bremner ) , sick boy ( jonny lee miller ) , tommy ( kevin mckidd ) , and begbie ( robert carlyle ) . 
bored , aimless and restless , their routine consists of getting drunk at the local pub , grooving to techno or glam-rock at the local disco and getting shots up the arm at the local den and procuring cash through a variety of methods , some ingenious , others plainly dumb and desperate . 
not part of the daily dose if obtained , sex is a bonus . 
you can find these characters as they are , foul-mouthed , dirty , pathetic , ugly perhaps but definitely interesting , in irvin welsh's cult novel of the same name . 
what makes the film a completely different experience is how director boyle uses every tool at his disposal to make the filmic medium synchronous with the message . 
one of the first things you'll notice is how the camera seems to dart around restlessly . 
it'll truck into a character's pimple , just as soon as it will dolly out to an establishing shot . 
distracted and curious , it'll maintain a character's eye-level or drop right to the ground to show the doped-out-eye-view . 
you'll even find characters peering into the camera , their faces smeared across the wide-angle lens . 
this film camera is just another one of the guys . 
tiptoeing that indistinguishable line between fantasy and reality , boyle employs a healthy dose of surrealism to get the message across . 
bored kids daydream and bored kids deprived of a heroin fix have nightmares . 
i don't want to give too much away , but if you cross chuckie from child's play with some of the wacky fantasies in heavenly creatures , you might have an idea just how fun or pants-wetting scary the alternate state of consciouness can be . 
that said , this film has a good share of drugs - consumed , vomitted , defecated , pissed off , exchanged , bought , sold , injected , smuggled , enjoyed and regretted . 
if that isn't your cup of tea , nobody forced you to see the film . 
stay at home and rent up close and personal . 
and what's a buzz without tunes . 
from pulp to iggy pop ( yes , he's still alive ) , the aural landscape is as engaging as the visual energy permeating the film . 
good and bad vibrations tangle like the conflicting desires and values of the message . 
every once in a while , a film comes along with the kind of energetic filmmaking that matches the intensity of its characters it hopes to depict . 
trainspotting is that shooting star that burns across a sky littered with static constellations . 
dom is a part-time filmmaker who graduated from northwestern university's radio/tv/film programme not too long ago . 
he has laboured on various music videos and short films in and around campus and chicago . 
nowhere town , a 26min short film that he shot , co-directed and co-produced recently scooped up the grand jury prize at the charleston international film festival for best student production . 
he is currently finishing a couple of small projects . 
with his minute amounts of leisure time , dom does nell impersonations . 
"
"1","steven spielberg's "" amistad , "" which is based on the true story of a group of africans who revolted on board a slave ship , then were captured and taken to america where a legal dispute ensued over who "" owned "" them , is concerned with several different aspects of this story . 
first , the film addresses the issue of the inherent evils of slavery . 
second , it deals with the historical involvement of several american politicians in the case , including president martin van buren and former president john quincy adams ( anthony hopkins ) . 
last , and most importantly , it examines the cultural confusion experienced by the africans who were forced into slavery and the damage done to their native culture in africa by the slave trade . 
 "" amistad "" succeeds at least partly with all three of these elements . 
i have to admit that i was a little skeptical as to how much i could really get out of another "" anti-slavery "" movie . 
having seen several other movies and documentaries about slavery , i doubted that there was much i didn't already know about it . 
fortunately , i turned out to be wrong . 
for one thing , spielberg's camera never once gets near a southern plantation and instead sticks to the slave ships and the slave traders' operations in africa , so "" amistad "" was dealing with a different part of the history of slavery from the very beginning . 
and some of the images here are , in fact , much more harrowing than what we usually see in movies about slavery . 
one scene in the middle , in which the crew of a slave ship dispose of some of their "" excess "" slaves by throwing them overboard to drown , has to be one of the most disturbing film images of the year . 
spielberg digs farther into the evils of slavery than i was expecting he would , and in fact he probably goes about as far as a movie director can without getting an nc-17 rating . 
the stark suffering of the africans is contrasted sharply with the shallow luxury of the politicians , such as president van buren and queen isabella of spain , whose naval officers were involved in the legal dispute and who was only a small child at the time . 
exposing politicians as narrow-minded , opportunistic hypocrites is fairly standard stuff , of course , but spielberg and writer david franzoni do it well enough that it still comes off as something more than just a simple exercise in audience manipulation . 
the film also examines the contentious nature of the slavery issue at the time , such that john quincy adams ( and probably other politicians like him ) , who clearly disapproved of the practice , was reluctant to get involved in the case until it was appealed all the way to the supreme court . 
the biggest success of "" amistad "" is probably the characterization of cinque ( djimon hounsou ) , who emerges as the de facto leader of the kidnapped africans and struggles to communicate with baldwin ( matthew mcconaughey ) , the lawyer who represents them in court . 
through cinque , we are given a window into the native culture , as he and the displaced africans try to explain to the prison guards what they need for a proper burial of a dead tribe member , or find an illustrated version of the bible and try to understand the story of jesus christ . 
cinque sees the dispute with a clarity and simplicity that , again , contrasts with the technicalities and mechanics of the legal process and of the political squabbles . 
 "" what kind of country is this , where laws 'almost' work ? "" he asks baldwin in bewilderment , when he learns that the case must be re-tried before the supreme court . 
spielberg's direction tends a little bit towards the manipulative side at times , such as when he adds a heavy orchestral swell to cinque's angry outburst in the court room . 
still , there isn't enough of this for it to be a serious problem . 
the main flaw in this film , which prevents it from earning four stars , is that it seems like spielberg and franzoni can't quite handle all of these issues at the same time , so instead they settle for addressing each one separately and simply editing the results into the same movie . 
this summer's contact , for example , dealt with several issues at once , but each of them was somehow present in almost every scene and , most importantly , all of them were resolved at once . 
 "" amistad "" tries to pull it all together in the end with a speech from adams , but it somehow feels a little forced , and in any case the speech itself , which lasts almost fifteen minutes , wears out its welcome about halfway through . 
perhaps the best way to describe it is this : "" amistad "" is three four star films edited into one . 
almost every individual scene works , but the final product is lacking the necessary focus and coherence , and thus is less than the sum of its parts . 
however , i can't honestly say how it could have been done differently , and in any case the story comes through with enough raw emotional power that it is still a very good film , and thus i recommend it to anyone who can handle the disturbing imagery . 
"
"1","he has spent his entire life in an awful little apartment , raised and cared for and imprisoned by his domineering mother . 
she inspires his love and his fear , and instills in him a similar love and fear of jesus . 
he has a rudimentary grasp of language , mouthing monosyllables and repetitions of his mother's phrases . 
he is taught that the world outside is fatally poisonous ; his mother dons a gasmask whenever she goes out the door . 
he is 35-years-old in body , but a child in mind and spirit . 
he is the premise for bad boy bubby , a defiantly original australian movie about a man called bubby ( nicholas hope ) who has spent his entire life in an awful little apartment , etc . , etc . then one day his father ( ralph cotterill ) appears . 
his father is a shabby down-at-heels priest who appears to have permanently misplaced his religion . 
unsurprisingly , he is not thrilled with the way "" his "" boy has turned out . 
he is , however , rather pleased at renewing his acquaintance with the mother ( claire benito ) , and , more to the point , her ample breasts . 
soon they are copulating on the dingy couch , while bubby crouches , confused , in the next room , acutely aware that the mother who had devoted all her attention to him has a new interest . 
bubby's relationship to the world may be warped , but it is at least stable . 
the father's arrival disturbs his precarious balance , causing an oedipal conflict which ends--freud would be pleased--in violence and , as a result , freedom . 
bubby intuits from his father's arrival that the air outside is breathable : he leaves the apartment , his past , his world , behind . 
so far , so good . 
the first thirty minutes or so of bad boy bubby , which bring us to this point , are quite brilliant . 
the movie is at its best when its stays within the constraints of bubby's hermetic two-room universe . 
it follows through unrelentingly on the implications of its premise : bubby is used by his mother for sex , he unwittingly suffocates the pet cat with cellophane , he is terrifed by the notion that jesus will beat him senseless if he sins . 
it is grim and savage and appalling , but also strangely tender--de heer , having imagined a life as bizarre as bubby's , does not exaggerate for comic or grotesqe purposes , but simply empathizes . 
he observes what it might be like . 
the intensity of these opening scenes , with their minimalist mise-en-scene , immerses us in a claustrophobic environment which seems to be a decayed stratum of our own world , and owes much to david lynch's eraserhead , not least the ambient industrial white noise of the soundtrack . 
for thirty minutes , the movie maintains the feel and mood of a reality that does not seem far removed from our own . 
then de heer lets bubby out , brings him into contact with our world , and the film never quite recovers . 
our unlikely hero finds himself in port adelaide , where he wanders the streets and meets people , where he suffers and learns and survives . 
he is seduced by a young woman from a salvation army band ( how an anti-social half-wit with no sense of hygiene manages to get laid mere hours after his escape is not the sort of question the film encourages , wisely ) ; he is given free pizza by a sympathetic waitress ; he insults a traffic cop and is punched in the stomach ; he shares a few beers in the back of a truck with a rock group ; he is imprisoned and raped ; he becomes a translator for mentally handicapped people whose speech is impaired beyond comprehension ; he is loved by a motherly large-breasted nurse ( carmel johnson ) . 
 . 
 . 
it goes on , by turns inventive , silly , tasteless , endearing , and sometimes all of these things at once . 
de heer never seems to be sure how bubby should interface with the real world : the tone shifts , uneasily , from fable to realism to satire and back again . 
the scenes which try to touch base with a believable version of reality are the weakest ; the film is best understood as a kind of parable , and , indeed , the religious implications of bubby's experiences are foregrounded : icons of jesus on the cross hang from the mother's walls , bubby dons a priest's collar stolen from his father , a church organ-playing atheist lectures him on the necessity of unbelief , the woman who redeems him is named angel . 
the manifold stresses of our world do not shatter bubby's mind , do not fragment him into psychosis ; rather , the world accomodates him , and heals him . 
although de heer's touch is at times overbearing , bubby's salvation is touching ; what seemd at first a harsh lesson in the damaging effects of the social construction of reality becomes a na ? ve humanist tale of improbable hope . 
a hapless rock group write a song about bubby and sing it for him and so give him the gift of community . 
he returns the favour when he steps on stage one night and becomes their frontman , turning the fragmented impressions of his experiences into performance art , and turning the band into a popular draw . 
innocence triumphs . 
bubby becomes a holy fool , an idiot savant , and graces us with wisdom . 
it's a strange turn of events , but by now we shouldn't be surprised , because bad boy bubby ain't like other movies . 
"
"1","being that it is a foreign language film with no known names with a select number theaters showing it , "" shall we dance "" won't be seen by that many people . 
and that's a shame - this is a funny , enchanting , and goofy movie full of laughs , surprises , and wonderful dance sequences . 
the surprising thing about "" shall we dance "" is the universal appeal of the story . 
a us version is in the works , and it's no wonder - it's not really all that culture specific . 
although there is a narrated set-up that adds some extra resonance to the proceedings ( about the view the japanese culture has about ballroom dancing ) , the movie is so rich in character and appeal that this added layer isn't at all necessary to understand or enjoy the film . 
the only important unexplained japanese-specific reference that may leave some a bit puzzled is that 1000 yen is roughly $10 ( when you see the film - and you should see this film - you'll know why ) . 
a middle aged company man realizes that achieving all the goals he set for himself in life ( a house , a child , and good marriage ) still doesn't translate into a fulfilled life . 
after glimpsing a melancholy beauty looking out from a dance studio window while on the train home from work , sugiyana ( koji yakusho ) decides after some trepidation to take up ballroom dance lessons in order to meet the woman who has stirred something in himself . 
after finding the weekly fees for private lessons from the elegant and beautiful mai ( tamiyo kusakari ) too rich for his blood , sugiyama opts for groups lessons simply to be near her . 
we then meet the players in this gem of a movie , who all have their own reasons for joining the class . 
later on , we meet aoki at the dance studio ( naoto takenaka ) , a co-worker and all out weirdo and one of the laugh riot highlights of the film . 
the story , laughs , and touching scenes evolve as the movie goes along . 
it's a pleasure to watch such a wonderful film that is propelled almost solely by the characters and performances . 
it's difficult to explain the charms of the film without revealing too much - the movie abounds with little revelations that subtly shape the characters , and in the end , each one is that much fuller and more understood by the time you leave the theater . 
it's one of those movies that only the french seem to make anymore - no big plot , no special effects , no gunplay , no tragic consequences , no forced examinations of the nature of love , and no insights into the nature of evil . 
just a warm , funny , endearing film that will charm the pants off of you . 
when was the last time you left a theater feeling all warm and fuzzy inside ? 
 "" shall we dance "" will do that to you without any treacly aftertaste . 
"
"1","when i first heard of contact , the hype was building it up as a sci-fi blockbuster . 
now , with that in mind , coupled with the knowledge of jodie foster's involvement in the project , i thought "" what in the world is foster doing in a sci-fi blockbuster ? ? ? "" . 
as it turned out , my expectations were completely nullified and turned topsy-turvy . 
robert zemeckis , back from the euphoria created by his last film , forrest gump , once again proves his mastery in fusing tales of adventure with along the endearing lines of human spirit . 
don't get me wrong , contact is sci-fi ? but with a definite difference . 
based on the late carl sagan novel of the same name , the story delves itself in questions on science and god ; fact and faith . 
allie ( foster ) is a radio astronomer . 
she spends her time listening to the stars , via ultra-huge communication dishes in search of intelligent life beyond the solar system . 
her passion for `long-distance communication' is the result of her younger days being spent avidly in front of a ham-radio system ( a hobbyist radio communication device ) which her late-father bought for her . 
a scene which particularly strengthens the audiences' view of the passion is when she asked her father whether she could contact her late-mother through the ham-radio system in which her father replied "" not even the most powerful radio in the world can do that , now "" . 
allie's research is based on the seti project ( search for extra terrestrial intelligence ) , in which she listens to radio emissions from other galaxies in the hope of finding one which would suggest intelligent manipulation . 
her work has never been off the scrutiny of the us government , which considers it a waste of taxpayer's money and politically unviable , her supervisor ( tom skerritt ) pulls the plug on seti . 
undaunted , allie managed to gather a loyal group of `believers' and eventually found funding from a large private corporation . 
the following months were treacherous to their hopes and research as they are contantly pressured by the government but all that changed when one day , she caught an emission of a seemingly intelligent repeating sound-wave . 
the news of her find attracted hordes of alien believers , cultist , the media and of course , the government . 
the situation became intense upon her discovery of pictorial plans on building a form of transport which were embedded within the repeating sound emission . 
as the world join forces to build this transport , allie is desperate to be the one to go . 
she enrols herself among a few hopefuls , to represent the world when the transport is ready for operation . 
her eligibility for the spot failed when she is questioned on her beliefs in the existence of god by the president's spiritual advisor ( mcconaughey ) ; allie , being an atheist , a result of her belief in fact and science , refuses to budge upon questioning . 
at this point the movie plot thickens considerably as she is romantically involved with the president's spiritual advisor . 
a strong point which propelled the movie is the depth of its main characters played by foster and mcconaughey . 
from the very first meeting scene , it is obvious that the two of them was sort of kindred spirits but they were worlds apart in almost all aspects , foster being a person drawn to science and facts and mcconaughey being one who believes in faith , hope and the power of the unseen . 
the meeting of their worlds , added with the situation which they are put into makes the entire storytelling process near flawless . 
many people who read the synopsis of this film would find it a tad too ridiculous , but by actually immersing yourself in it , gives you an entirely different perspective ; one which is free from bias and pre-conceptions . 
zemeckis and his team of screen writers have done a remarkable job in telling this tale through film . 
contact works by not delving in controversy but rather , touches the thinking audience , urging them to ponder upon the questions raised in the film concerning fact and faith ; whether one can actually find compromise within . 
i consider contact as one of the must-sees for this year . 
"
"1","you've got to love disney . 
no matter what they serve up , it is a guaranteed success as long as it's animated . 
kids have to go see the movie . 
then they have to get the toys . 
oh , the video came out ? 
got to buy it , or risk little billy's temper tantrums for the next month . 
all of this culminates in the childhood equivalent of a pilgrimage to mecca : a visit to the magic kingdom . 
stay at the disneyland hotel ! 
buy a disney t-shirt ! 
eat an ice cream mickey mouse on a stick ! 
it's both a vertical and horizontal monopoly when you think about it . 
dale carnegie should have had it so good . 
what's most amazing is that all this success is in spite of a severe lack of originality . 
you see , disney animated features these days have two components : theme and plot . 
the theme changes with each new movie ; the plot does not . 
the plot is a mold into which the characters of some ancient fable are dropped , and try as they might to rise above the characters of previous features , they are nearly always destined to do no more than the same . 
however , while the success of a disney animated feature is generally a given as far as box-office receipts , merchandising dollars , and glimmers in the eyes of little children , critically they are as varied as anything else that hollywood has to offer . 
luckily , disney's latest animated offering , mulan , manages to be engaging and refreshing , even while rife with formula . 
the film starts with the invasion of ancient china by the huns , led by the imposing shan-yu ( miguel ferrer ) . 
soon , china's emperor ( pat morita ) mobilizes his armies and decrees that one male from each family in the country shall serve to fight in china's defense . 
when the fa family is served notice , it is the elderly father , fa zhou ( soon-tek oh ) who must answer the call , as there are no other males in the household . 
fearing her father will surely be killed in battle , fa mulan ( ming-na wen ) disguises herself as a man and sneaks off with the royal orders to join the chinese army . 
mulan , based on a chinese epic poem , is a classic tale of the triumph of the ugly duckling . 
mulan herself is a disgrace to her loving family , as she has a difficult time fitting into the traditional woman's role , and in a very amusing scene where a matchmaker attempts to assess her value to a potential husband , we see that "" grace "" is not one of her strong points . 
very early on , we are presented with the high importance of bringing honor to one's family , and by botching her chance at gaining the favor of the matchmaker , mulan fails at that task . 
by leaving home to fight in her father's place , she may not only spare his life , but bring honor , too . 
as is the case with most disney musicals , the songs are first rate and pervasive throughout the film . 
i'm not sure if they will get much airplay , but at least one of the songs will no doubt receive recognition come oscar time . 
both lea salonga , who provides the singing voice for mulan , and donny osmond who sings for shang , the captain of mulan's army unit and obligatory love interest , are more than competent , although salonga's voice translates much better to animation . 
you have to hear it to understand . 
interestingly , the musical numbers which are so often done with big flourishes are surprisingly muted in mulan . 
there is no significantly big number , which is customary as the second or third song in a disney film , but this does not detract significantly from the rest of the movie . 
it is , however , an expectation which has been built by disney's own formulaic history , and some viewers may feel as if something is missing . 
artistically , the animators have chosen to adopt the more subdued pastels of chinese artwork , and although this may not live up to the vibrance so associated with many of the other disney works , it helps to contribute a more authentic , and therefore more credible , nature to what otherwise may be seen as a typically "" disneyfied "" ethnic tale . 
there are also a couple of visually standout scenes , one involving the charge of shan-yu's hun army , which utilizes the same computer-enhanced imagery disney animators have employed since the chandelier in beauty and the beast . 
the other scene worth mentioning is so quick you might miss it . 
when mulan resolves to take her father's place , she dons her father's old battle armor , and unsheathes a sword . 
as she does so , you can see her reflection in the polished metal . 
it just left me thinking , "" that was really cool . "" 
a wonderful range of performances delight the audience throughout the film , varying from the straight , such as soon-tek oh as fa zhou , to the comical , such as harvey fierstein as yao , a gruff , pugilistic member of shang's conscripted army . 
even more outrageous is eddie murphy as mushu , the diminutive guardian dragon sent to look after mulan . 
although an obvious attempt to relive the chemistry brought forth by robin williams in aladdin , murphy nevertheless distinguishes himself with his own winning performance . 
i found the choice of b . d . 
wong as shang a little strange ( you may remember him as martin short's wedding planner assistant in the father of the bride ) , but they used robbie benson for the voice of the beast in beauty and the beast , so i guess anything's possible . 
in any event , wong performs admirably as well . 
one character which provides a significant amount of humor is grandmother fa . 
she deserves recognition not only because of the levity she brings to the movie , but also because she is voiced by two very remarkable people . 
june foray , who supplies grandmother fa's speaking voice , is a venerable voice actress who may be best known for her work as rocky the squirrel and natasha fatale ( as in boris and natasha ) . 
marni nixon , who provides grandmother fa's singing voice , is the same vocalist who dubbed the voices for anna in the king and i , maria in west side story , and eliza in my fair lady . 
with this in mind , hearing grandmother fa is like listening to a little piece of history . 
mulan is the latest disney animated feature to get away from some of the eurocentrism which for so long dominated disney films . 
in an effort to be culturally sensitive ( and to avoid a "" miss saigon "" -type debacle ) , disney has also wisely chosen to employ many asian-american actors for both lead and supporting roles . 
in addition to the actors already mentioned , the cast includes such ubiquitous talents as james hong , gedde watanabe , james shigeta , and george takei . 
i guess clyde kusatsu wasn't available . 
at a running time of slightly under an hour and a half , mulan moves quickly and provides solid entertainment for both children and , happily , adults . 
this is the kind of disney feature that makes you wonder what they will do next , rather than hope that the next one is better . 
"
"1","with three pre- to mid-teen children and an aging father-in-law to care for--cooking and cleaning and laundry , drop-offs at little league practice and pick-ups from ballet practice--margaret hall's life is rife with complications . 
and with her naval officer husband stationed somewhere in the north atlantic , virtually impossible to reach by telephone , margaret leads the crazed life of a single parent . 
but margaret's hectic world is about to get a lot more complicated . 
her teenage son beau , a talented trumpet player with strong prospects of being accepted into wesleyan university's music program , has fallen in with the wrong crowd . 
his mother drives from their idyllic , lakeside community of tahoe city , california to the sprawling urban metropolis of reno , nevada , with its imposing concrete superstructures and seedy neon-lit nightclubs , to confront the 30-something man who has befriended beau . 
 "" stay away from my son "" margaret warns darby reese . 
her words , however , appear to fall on deaf ears as reese turns up drunk at the family homestead later that evening , urging beau to join him in the boathouse . 
there are words and advances and some pushing and shoving and beau runs back into the house , passed his startled mother , as the crack of a wooden railing giving way breaks the cold blue silence and an intoxicated reese tumbles out of sight . 
the next day , on her morning walk , margaret discovers reese's lifeless body lying crumpled on the shoreline , a boat anchor impaled in his chest . 
with her maternal instincts working overtime , margaret quickly ferries the body out into the lake , weighs it down , and dumps it overboard . 
but margaret's life is about to get a lot more complicated . 
soon after the body is discovered , snagged on a local fisherman's line , margaret is paid a visit by an attractive-seeming blackmailer in a red nova . 
alek spera threatens to hand over compromising videotape of beau to the police unless margaret comes up with $50 , 000 by 4 o'clock the next day . 
but margaret's life is about to get a lot more complicated , for alek turns out to be something she never expected . 
based on elisabeth sanxay holding's novel "" the blank wall , "" "" the deep end "" is a well-crafted thriller written and directed by scott mcgehee and david siegel ( "" suture "" ) . 
it makes the most of a talented but not particularly well-known cast--goran visnjic plays alek with a suave likeability , jonathan tucker shines as the conflicted beau , peter donat is amusing as grandfather hall , and josh lucas has an equally small but effective role as the hapless darby reese . 
the film is also lovingly photographed by giles nuttgens and features an evocative score , courtesy peter nashel . 
but it owes everything to british actress tilda swinton . 
swinton , whose pale-faced ethereal beauty has graced many of derek jarman's films ( "" caravaggio , "" "" edward ii , "" "" the last of england "" ) , plays margaret hall in "" the deep end "" and , like charlotte rampling in this year's "" under the sand , "" turns in a commanding and accomplished performance . 
margaret is a devoted mother who is willing to risk everything to protect the ones she loves , and swinton captures every frustration , every fear , every subtle examination and every fervent realization and every nervous oscillation of her being . 
the role calls for an extremely wide range of emotions none the least of which is simply playing a mother beset with a multitude of domestic responsibilities . 
many can relate to that , of course ; it's the murder cover-up and the blackmail and the fear of losing one's son that swinton so gracefully , so graciously , makes resonate with the truest of colors . 
the end is deep all right , and there isn't a single shallow moment in tilda swinton's canon . 
"
"1","i hate to burst your bubble , but after all the star power , mega bucks , screenwriters , directors , and cool trailers , men in black is not the best movie of the summer . 
it's pretty good in it's own right , yes , but i would probably split the "" best movie "" honors among face/off , spawn , con air , and maybe event horizon . 
it's main problem is that it's quickly forgettable , and i can't remember one truly good scene from it . 
from con air , it was the scene out in the desert when they were digging the plane out from the dirt . 
in spawn , it was the "" living room hell "" conclusion at the end . 
in event horizon , it was the video of the event horizon crew being taken over by hell's forces . 
and all of face/off was pretty dang good . 
but as for men in black , the only scene i still recall is when will smith is squishing all those giant roaches . 
i remember it not for it's humor but because i am hate roaches with a passion and was pretty disgusted . 
and yes , i did see mimic , which is something i'll touch on in a later review . 
back to men in black ( is it just me , or does that sound funny ? ) 
i remember first hearing about men in black back when i was a comic geek in the 7th grade and read magazines like wizard , etc . ( for those of you who aren't comic-geeks , wizard is basically to comics what car and driver is to cars , what the new yorker is to high society , what boy's life is to boy scots . 
okay , that one was pretty pathetic . ) 
few people know this , but men in black is based on a very obscure comic book that was , while not honest-politician-rare , very hard to find . 
this was after the release of the high-grossing batman forever , and it said that tommy lee jones and chris o'donnell were being considered for the roles ( in the comic book , there were no black men in black . 
kind of weird , huh ? ) 
all i can say is , thank god they didn't cast chris o'donnell . 
i know i can't be the only person on the planet who thinks he's an annoying , preppie little snot . . . 
sorry . 
my apologies to o'donnell fans . 
i actually had a 7th grade teacher who was a big comic collector and was set to buy some of the comics from him , anticipating rather craftily that , if the movie was a big hit , it would drive up the price of the comics rather nicely . 
he decided not to sell them to me , because they were "" innappropriate "" . 
hmm . . . . 
so now you're probably wondering why i've wasted about 5 paragraphs with lame anecdotes from my junior high years . 
good question . 
i'll move on to the movie now . 
as you probably already know , will smith and tommy lee jones ( agents k and j , respectively ) belong to a top secret agency known as divison 5 , or it's nickname mib ( men in black . ) 
men in black is a reference to the black suits and sunglasses the agents wear , and they're mission is to investigate reports of alien landings and keep the aliens under control while they're here on earth . 
not to get too technical or spoil the plot for the 6 people in the world who haven't seen this movie , but a basically-big-roach-type-bug lands in a redneck farmer's yard , inhabits his body , and attempts to destroy the entire universe . 
not bad , eh ? ( i have no idea why i just typed that . 
i'm not even really paying attention anymore . ) 
the special effects are good yet dissapointing in men in black . 
i found their main headquarters to be boring , as were the "" cool weapons "" they had . 
the noisy cricket just plain sucked , no matter what anyone said . 
and the movie definitely surprised me in tone , although it probably shoudln't have . 
it's director , barry sonnenfield , is known for "" black humor "" , directing both addams family movies . 
this movie was basically a "" black comedy "" , not an action/sci-fi like i expected from the trailers . 
don't get me wrong on what i think of this movie . 
it's not bad , i gave it * * * . 
it was mostly entertaining throughout it's run , and had a very good ending , although i think i was the only person in the theater not amazed by it . 
my diagnosis for this picture : a good weekend rental , but not worth a movie ticket . 
of course , the movie is now long gone from theaters , but that's beside the point . 
i think . 
"
"1","susan granger's review of "" osmosis jones "" ( warner bros . ) 
if the farrelly brothers taught anatomy & physiology in school , no one would cut ever class . 
this hip , live action/animation story begins as a monkey snatches a hard-boiled egg from frank , a zookeeper ( bill murray ) , who grabs it back , drops it , then gobbles up the contaminated morsel , explaining , "" if it hits and ground and you pick it up within 10 seconds , you can eat it . "" 
like "" fantastic voyage "" ( 1966 ) , the pseudo-science animation then takes over when his body's immune system contacts traffic control as an ingested virus hits the digestive system : "" be on the alert for illegal organisms ! "" 
eager to right "" a stomach evacuation mistake "" he once made , a cocky , clever , courageous white blood cell ( chris rock ) declares , "" this is a crime scene ! "" 
and teams up with a conscientious "" phi beta capsule "" 12-hour cold remedy called drixenol ( david hyde pierce ) to chase down and destroy the deadly "" red death "" virus ( laurence fishburne ) that's determined to take frank down in 48 hours , beating ebola and e . coli to a medical record . 
watch out for mucus mudslides , chaos in cerebellum hall and the detritus from booger dam ( runny nose ) , along with comic turns from molly shannon and chris elliot , plus the voices of william shatner and brandy norwood . 
peter and bobby farrelly , along with writer mark hyman and animation directors piet kroon and tom sito , have turned their penchant for gross-out comedy , encompassing flatulence , festering sores and "" popping a pimple without a permit , "" into a funny , farrelly-funny family film . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" osmosis jones "" is a wildly imaginative , original , explosive 7 . 
and perhaps , as they're laughing , kids will learn where to find their uvula , along with nuggets about nutrition and hygiene . 
"
"1","i must say from the outset that i have never been much of a kurt russell fan . 
i've seen some of his films ( silkwood , backdraft , unlawful entry ) and while he gave adequate performances , i have never been impressed with his work . 
breakdown , then , is something of a surprise . 
russell gives a fine performance , as do most of the cast , one that is not upstaged by the action orchestrated in the second half of the film . 
to say that he holds the film together would not be completely true , but he does it no harm . 
russell plays jeff , one half of a married couple travelling with his wife amy ( kathleen quinlan ) cross country to san diego to start a new job and a new life . 
while journeying through the desert their car breaks down and , left helpless and stranded , jeff waves down a passing truck driver ( j . t . 
walsh ) who offers to take them to a nearby diner to call for a tow truck . 
because of a nasty incident earlier with a couple of ruffians , jeff decides to stay with the car while amy gets help . 
that , it seems , is the last time jeff ( or anyone else ) sees her . 
breakdown has been compared to several movies : george sluizer's the vanishing ( the original , hopefully , not his appalling hollywood remake ) , steven spielberg's duel and any number of hitchcock films . 
as with these , breakdown does not , for the most part , stray down the conventional path of the american action-thriller . 
jeff does not become a gun-toting vigilante on the hunt for his wife , but instead becomes a scared , confused everyman who has no idea what the hell is going on . 
when we do find out what has happened to amy , it does come as a slight disappointment , if only because it's too early in the film ; i for one could have done with an extra twenty minutes or so of mystery and bewilderment , but this affects the film little . 
russell , as mentioned earlier , is very good in his role , and kathleen quinlan is nowhere near as annoying as she was in apollo 13 . 
j . t . 
walsh , as the possibly evil truck driver , is terrific ; he is one of the best of the fine batch of character actors hollywood doesn't seem to know what to do with , but director jonathan mostow is on the right track here . 
the reason he makes such a great villain is that he actually looks like a real person , one anyone would be able to trust , which makes the plot that much more believable . 
breakdown is what hollywood doesn't make enough of , a great thriller with believable characters and scenes that do , indeed , have viewers on the edge of their seats . 
one of the most genuinely exciting films i've seen in a long time . 
"
"1","with the success of the surprise hit alien , directed by ridley scott , a sequel was inevitable . 
in fact , after watching the first film , a sequel was wanted , particularly by this reviewer . 
handing over the director's chair to recent box office gem james cameron , who had only made two films previous to this one ( pirahna ii , a surprisingly dull film , and terminator , making cameron a household name ) , the alien series got a face-lift of immense proportions . 
instead of being a suspense/science fiction film , cameron alters the series and changing it into an action picture . 
what results is one of the most terrifying films ever created . 
a film like aliens comes along only once in a while , and when it does , audiences are usually unprepared for it . 
i never saw this movie in theaters , but i wish i could have . 
the terror and fright must have been unimaginable , most likely with audiences members literally shrieking in fear . 
aliens is an action film unlike any i have ever seen . 
with a science fiction plot , cameron gives aliens added testosterone , pumping up the action and fire power from the original film . 
in fact , aliens is one of those few sequels which tops the original . 
perhaps what makes the alien series so impressive is the hero--or heroine , as the case may be . 
never have we had a more sympathetic hero in an action film , and never have i seen such an impressive acting job done by the main character . 
sigourney weaver is possibly the only actress who could play this character and make her realistic enough for us to care about . 
placing a woman in these situations would sometimes seem unusual , but because of weaver's presence , a woman is the only suitable hero . 
aliens begins 57 years after alien ended . 
lieutenant ellen ripley ( weaver ) is discovered in hypersleep on the nostromo and is awakened . 
she explains how she is the only survivor of her past encounter with the aliens , but "" the company "" is doubtful . 
they explain that a colony of families is flourishing on the same planet from which she just left . 
despite stern warnings from ripley , the company remains rigid and won't call the families back . 
however , when the company loses contact with the colony , ripley's story seems much more feasible . 
one of the company's directors , carter burke ( paul reiser ) , wants to gather a team to travel to the planet . 
this team includes a buff private vasquez ( jenette goldstein ) , a questionable corporal hicks ( michael biehn ) , and a loyal android bishop ( lance henriksen ) . 
burke tags along with ripley as they fly to the planet in order to locate the members of the colony . 
arriving on the planet , the team finds most of the human life extinguished in a cocoon-type environment . 
the only survivor is 12 year old rebecca "" newt "" jorden ( carrie henn ) . 
ripley finds this a chance to be the mother she never had the opportunity to become , and she becomes newt's surrogate mother . 
ripley and newt are the only ones who knows what has happened , and soon , all hell breaks loose . 
aliens not only multiplies the thrills and suspense from scott's version , it also multiplies the number of aliens in general . 
alien focused on one alien in particular which systematically killed each crew member , except ripley , who managed to jettison the alien out of the nostromo . 
aliens focuses on an entire race of these aliens , and as a result , the chills are incredibly heightened . 
then again , this is james cameron , the guy who has given us true lies and terminator 2 : judgment day . 
he is the best action director out there ( topping renny harlin , who directed cliffhanger ) , and only he could create something as terrifying as this film . 
it seems that every alien film seems to have some memorable scene or scenes , and aliens has the motherload . 
with perhaps one of the most astonishing endings ever created for an action film , aliens climax never seems to hit until the viewer is nearly pushed to extreme exhaustion . 
i can't recall another film ever to sustain this level of intensity throughout , never dropping for a moment . 
just when you think the movie is over , something else will occur , and it starts right back up again . 
with a seemingly endless conclusion , aliens ends with one of the greatest moments in film history . 
this scene is usually the one remembered most from the film , as lieutenant ripley steps into one of the lifting machines to fight the alien queen . 
using flawless special effects , the climax is exhausting , leaving any audience member drained from extreme anxiety . 
of course , for a film of this genre to work properly , the technical aspects must be realistic enough for us to believe what we see . 
aliens is completely realistic , even a decade after its initial release . 
the special effects are wonderfully seamless , with a terrifying alien to go with them . 
one of the most overlooked aspects of this film is the music , composed by cameron-regular james horner . 
horner has created a terrific score , receiving an oscar nomination for his work . 
not only that , horner has also created one of the best scores for any action film , or science fiction film ever ( and that includes 2001 : a space odyssey , which was mainly a compilation of well-known composers ) . 
in fact , the climax music is also some of the most recognized of film music . 
the production design is incredible , which also happened to snag a nomination from the academy . 
dark corridors lit by red lights are very impressive , but more impressive is the amount of terror which arises from well-lit locations . 
normally a film will be very dark in order to scare a viewer ; aliens uses lights to scare the viewer . 
then , of course , is the cinematography , which uses point of view shots , along with video feeds in order to build suspense . 
some of the scariest scenes involve the perspective of ripley . 
surprisingly , the acting is not only above average for this genre , but some of the best . 
sigourney weaver received an oscar nomination for her portrayal of ripley , incorporating the right amount of sympathy into her hard-edged persona . 
weaver soars above the rest in this film , but she is supposed to . 
carrie henn gives an above average performance for a child , developing a three-dimensional character from her quiet attitude . 
lance henriksen is terrific as bishop , showing that androids don't always have to be flat characters . 
jenette goldstein shows a fair amount of enthusiasm with her role , and steals several scenes of her own ( though her personality becomes slightly annoying when she isn't fighting ) . 
michael biehn gives a very nice performance in the most obligatory role of the film . 
however , biehn does a good job , making it seem original again . 
paul reiser may seem like an odd choice to play the sleazy corporate director , but reiser manages to pull it off quite well ( however , i still see him as paul on tv's "" mad about you "" ) . 
a very good cast ( which also includes bill paxton and william hope ) highlights this action film , making it stand out from others . 
aliens is rightfully rated r for violence , gore , language , and terror . 
aliens is sort of the redefining moment of the science fiction genre , as alien was more of a suspense/horror film . 
aliens pumps up the stakes , and cameron directs it with professional quality . 
cameron certainly knows how to make a good action film , but here he proves how he can create some truly horrific moments on screen . 
technically astonishing , aliens' only flaw is small characters who are only there to get killed . 
aside from this , you probably won't experience anything like aliens for quite a while . 
"
"1","ingredients : neophyte lawyer , legal situations , corrupt insurance company , 
synopsis : rudy baylor ( matt damon ) is an ethical kid fresh out of law school who must juggle three legal situations at the same time . 
rudy's girlfriend is attacked by her violent husband ; rudy's elderly landlady wants to arrange her will so that her children are excluded , and ; the family of rudy's friend with leukemia is suing the corrupt insurance company that wouldn't pay for a bone marrow transplant . 
rudy is new to being a lawyer and is thoroughly outgunned , but luckily he is aided by a sleazy ambulance chaser ( danny devito ) who has failed the bar exam six times as well as by the kindly presiding judge ( danny glover ) . 
jon voight plays leo f . drummond , the intimidating and arrogant leader of the all-powerful insurance company's team of lawyers who will do anything to oppose justice . 
will rudy defeat leo ? 
will he enjoy being a lawyer ? 
opinion : the good news is that this movie has a happy ending , and it features a guy trying to do the right thing . 
director francis ford coppola does this film a little differently than the stereotypical law movie . 
in the typical lawyer movie there's one big case and the movie focuses on solving it , and somewhere along the line surprise witnesses and motives turn up before the good guy wins ( after lots of gripping courtroom drama ) . 
however , coppola's movie is deliberately more low key . 
'the rainmaker' plays out like a personality sketch of young rudy as he gets emotionally involved with and tries to save various little quirky side characters . 
in the background rudy's voice narrates his feelings and makes half-cynical jokes about the legal profession in general . 
two factors combine to make this movie less heavy than it can be . 
first , rudy's time is split juggling three cases , rather than concentrating on a single high-stakes case . 
also , rudy's use of voice narration in place of acting makes the film lose some of its dramatic edge . 
the end result is an entertaining low key law movie where the good guys win , and rudy narrates his way into coming of age . 
"
"1","in one of my many videos i have attained from the local library , casablanca was my third classic in some weeks . 
the others being citizen kane and vertigo ( yes , i am trying to see as many of afi's greatest movies ever made as i can ) . 
but , casablanca stood out from the rest for me : it was actually watchable . 
what most hail as the greatest american film ever , casablanca isn't so much a love story as a political frenzy with a love triangle thrown in . 
it seems that star humphry bogart spend about 85 percent of the movie with various leaders of the nation instead of with ingred bergman . 
that annoyed me , as did the ending . 
why didn't the plan turn around ? ! ? 
surprisingly , i enjoyed the film . 
i liked bogart's character and his acting ( not over the top as most actors in his era ) . 
i once read about if you had a choice to be in a movie , which one would it be , and a women said casablanca . 
at first i was thinking to myself "" why ? "" 
then , as i watched the film again , i understood why . 
the movie is very well done and the script top-notch , although i doubt i understood more than half of the political mumbo jumbo . 
casablanca is , in my mind , no classic ( like solaris ) , but it is a good film and stylishly shot . 
hey , hollywood , how about this : a remake with harrison ford and anne heche ? 
now that would be a classic . 
"
"1","capsule : suprisingly more of a comedy than a straight action flick , which isn't necessarily a bad thing . 
not exactly oscar caliber , but one helluva bullet-riddled good time . 
extended review : you know , i remember when hitmen were evil , murderous scum . 
alas , the times are a-changin' . 
in a recent string of movies , hitmen are suddenly wise- cracking , fun-loving killers-with-hearts . 
this brings us to hong kong director kirk wong's first american feature , the big hit . 
oddly enough , about the same time last year a similar film , grosse point blank , was released . 
advertised as a quirky comedy with hints of action , it turned out to have a suprising dosage of it . 
the big hit is quite the opposite . 
it was hyped as "" the new film from producer john woo "" , so one would it expect lots of stylized killing and action . 
however , there's a sore lack of it , which is about the only thing wrong with the big hit . 
the film starts out with mel smiley and his cohorts doing a job on a white slaver . 
mel , played by mark wahlberg in a dopey , milquetoast role , is a killing machine ; he flips , spins , even breakdances whilst popping caps . 
sadly , he doesn't get a chance to do much of it . 
except for the beginning set piece and the last 20 twenty minutes or so , the film is in comedy mode . 
the action , at least what there is of it , is prime cut stuff . 
wong , after numerous hong kong features , makes quite a nice u . s . debut . 
however , his pacing is a bit off , with the action sequences only bookending the movie and not lasting long enough . 
they start off electrifying and fresh , but just kinda stop . 
normally , this would hamper a movie to the point of being unenjoyable . 
luckily , we have ben ramsey's screenplay , a bitingly funny piece of work . 
the only problem is there might be too much humor , one joke makes you laugh so hard you miss the next few . 
some of best gags include an oriental film maker down on his luck and one of mel's hitmen pals that has just discovered onanism . 
the only problem is how some of the minor characters are handled , some being there only for a laugh , which sometimes works , sometimes doesn't . 
overall , the big hit may have it's flaws , but it makes up for them in a stylishly directed , gut-wrenchingly funny joyride . 
definately one of the better ways to spend two hours . 
"
"1"," "" when will the devil take me ? "" he asks rhetorically in lulling voice over . 
the spoiled title character of _onegin_ ( pronounced oh-negg-in ) is waiting on death to relieve him after a lifetime of rapacious behaviour . 
martha fiennes' debut feature is ( quite literally ) filmed poetry ( it's based on an epic russian poem by alexander pushkin ) , a profound study of regret , of how we confuse shame with guilt . 
when we first meet eugene onegin ( ralph , acting for his sister ; another brother , magnus , composed the score ) , a philandering aristocrat from st . petersburg , he has just inherited his uncle's estate . 
with plans to sell it , onegin pays a summer visit to the manor , which is located in an underpopulated russian countryside , and not long into the trip he meets a neighbouring family of blue bloods . 
smitten with olga larina ( headey ) , he befriends olga's fianc ? , vladimir lensky ( stephens ) , while olga's sister , tatyana ( tyler ) , romanticizing his flippant attitude ( he's a nineteenth bad boy ) , falls for onegin . 
in one sweaty , inky torrent of passion , tatyana writes him a love letter . 
he is at least intrigued by the note but rejects her affections , it is implied , because he can . 
soon after , tragedy strikes , and onegin makes himself scarce . 
when we catch up with him , six years later , he has just returned to st . petersburg , where at a grand ball he discovers that an old friend ( donovan ) has married a more womanly and wordly tatyana . 
this time , onegin finds her irresistable . 
what is most amazing about ralph fiennes' performance is his subtle physical transformation from dashing snob to miserly grouch . 
overwhelmed by a top hat , the onegin who pines for tatyana seems smaller in stature than the one who brushed her off , an ebeneezer scrooge trapped in christmas past . 
the actor has been constricted playing heroes for too long now-there's room to breathe in a role that's made up of shades of gray like "" onegin "" . 
petula clark sang of a universal phenomenon in "" parking lot "" : "" you don't know what you've got ? til it's gone . "" 
onegin's about-face on tatyana speaks for those of us ( read : most of us ) who need confirmation that someone or something is wanted by others before we want it as well . 
what the character feels is not jealousy but remorse , embarrassment , even , at having let her go . 
out of identification we feel empathy for onegin , a callous bastard . 
tatyana's emotions echo a thousand ditties , but that makes them no less vital . 
she changes , too , from a girl in crush to a woman with divided loyalties . 
tyler acquits herself surprisingly well among her uk co-stars , filling in sketchy gaps by expressing base sentiments in a series of wanton stares . 
they both have faces , mr . fiennes and ms . tyler , capable of conveying archetypal russian misery . 
_onegin_ could have added up to little more than a distinguished episode of "" masterpiece theater "" , even with its current cast of thoroughbreds intact , were martha fiennes not at the helm . 
an mtv background ( she cut her teeth directing rock videos for xtc and others ) has positively influenced her sense of pace ( though , thankfully , not her shot lengths-no spasmodic cutting here ) ; at just over 100 minutes , _onegin_ clicks along like a brisk walk through valleys of despair . 
the film has an atypical period look , as well . 
absent are the sumptuous tableware and antique furnishings that stand in for plot and character in those drippy merchant ivory productions . 
the sets are almost expressionistically bare , echoing the loneliness of the protagonists . 
 ( cinematographer remi adafarasin often allows space to engulf them ; i'm reminded the climax , which unfolds in a sea of white . ) 
martha fiennes has a clear command of cinema , and her spare , often painfully human visual presentation of "" yevgeny onegin "" is arguably the most lucid translation of pushkin's difficult text yet . 
ms . fiennes may be the most exciting female presence behind a camera since jane campion . 
"
"1","bruce barth's mellow piano plays in the background as conflict erupts in a little country town of florida . 
ulee's gold feels like another fonda creation- on golden pond : it has a soft , calm surface with a tempest brewing underneath , the cinematography creates a place of gold , yellow , and olive colors , the music is stirring and tranquil . 
both deal with the hardships of family life . 
peter fonda gives his undoubtedly best performance in victor nu ? ez's new film and patricia richardson ( home improvement star ) shows she is worthy of big screen attention . 
nu ? ez is probably independent film's greatest asset , along with john sayles , and he proves his talent with a slow pace and undulating , heavy tension . 
peter fonda's performance borrows from his father henry fonda's in on golden pond- there is a great vulnerability that he gives the character ulee jackson and just like his father , peter fonda is quiet , emotional , and weary in this exceptional role . 
ulee jackson , the film's protagonist , is struggling . 
pressure is mounting at the wrong time . 
he is a beekeeper and this is his "" busy "" season . 
he has to deal with his two granddaughters' needs and erupting hormones , he is forced to pick up his daughter-in-law in orlando who is strung out on drugs and take care of her , and he is faced with a challenging task : unsettled business his son , who is now in prison , has left behind . 
he finds his daughter-in-law , helen , with the two men his son robbed a bank with . 
she has apparently told these two men that the money that resulted from the robbery is with her husband . 
that is why he got caught- the police found him with the money . 
now the two men are demanding they get the cash , or they will come after ulee's two granddaughters . 
ulee promises he will bring it to them and takes a deranged helen back to his serene little home where her two children that she abandoned scrutinize her with contempt . 
ulee is a man who lost his pals in war- he was the only man in his platoon to survive . 
he refuses help from anybody and does not respond to affectionate gestures . 
he is a bitter , closed-off man whose only passion is his beekeeping , his granddaughters , and his dead wife . 
connie , his next door neighbor , finally gets through to him with friendly favors . 
she is a nurse and helps helen get through her turmoil with drugs . 
ulee's gold is the story of a man who believes he is fine as he is- until the truth is revealed painfully to him : he is cold and unfeeling . 
of course , in the end , ulee softens up , but his journey is absorbing and we have fallen in love with his tiredness and weariness . 
what is admirable about the movie is peter fonda's winning turn as ulee and the story that feels like nobody's fool but , in the end , ends up in a class of its own . 
"
"1","susan granger's review of "" big eden "" ( jour de fete ) 
it's utopia , this tiny town tucked away in the timberland of northwestern montana , where old codgers lounge on the porch of the general store to pass the time away and the local matchmakers ( nan martin , louise fletcher ) eagerly pair off the young people , regardless of sexual preference . 
there's nary a homophobe or bigot around , much to the surprise of henry hart ( arye gross ) , a successful but lonely manhattan artist who returns home to care for sam ( george coe ) , the ailing grandfather who raised him . 
and with the simultaneous re-appearance of his best-friend from high-school and object of his unrequited love ( tim dekay ) , now divorced with two young sons , the fact of his homosexuality must be faced . 
to complete the triangle , there's the tall , taciturn native american ( eric schweig ) who owns the general store and lovingly yet secretly prepares gourmet meals for henry and sam . 
this fable about home and family is a major debut for first-time film-maker thomas bezucha ( a former designer for coach and polo/ralph lauren ) who is meticulous about minding details , using ballads like "" welcome to my world "" and "" achin' , breakin' heart "" to set up the concept of our universal longing to find a place in which we can love and be loved . 
in the paradise of big eden , what you are doesn't matter as much as generosity of spirit , respect and kindness . 
sure , the plot's implausible but it's a good-natured fantasy so allowances should be made . 
and rob sweeney's photography of glacier national park is spectacular ! 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" big eden "" is a charming , quirky , off-beat 7 . 
it's a heart-warming romantic comedy about a gay man who doesn't die of aids or wind up alone at the end . 
"
"1","when you go to the movies as much as i do , you unfortunately end up seeing certain movie trailers one too many times . 
such was the case with frequency . 
every time i went to a screening , there was the frequency preview . 
it looked awful . 
it looked cheesy , sappy and ridiculous . 
it looked like a flop . 
well , whoever put that trailer together should be fired , because in terms of pure entertainment , frequency is one of the best of the year thus far . 
frequency boasts a compelling story line . 
an occurrence of freakish solar activity allows police detective john sullivan ( james caviezel ) to speak to his fireman father frank sullivan ( dennis quaid ) through a ham radio , despite the fact that frank has been dead for 30 years . 
john is able to give his father information that prevents his death in a warehouse fire , but by doing so causes other changes . 
somehow , a serial killer's reign of terror , which in the original timeline had been stopped at three murders , extends to ten victims . . . 
including john's mother . 
this is director gregory hoblit's third film ( the other two being primal fear and fallen ) . 
with all three , he's managed to attach himself to great scripts ( this one by toby emmerich , whose only previous movie experience was as a music supervisor on numerous new line films ) and add equally great direction . 
also , he apparently likes to have his films wrap up with a kick-ass ending . 
frequency is no exception , the ending is unpredictable and incredibly satisfying . 
hoblit is three for three , and i hope he can keep it up . 
now everyone can argue logic this and logic that all you want with the sci-fi elements of frequency . 
but the fact of the matter is that time travel has never been achieved . 
who's to say how something works and how it doesn't when it's never happened ? 
is it because we've become accustomed to time travel "" laws "" from other places like "" star trek "" and the back to the future trilogy and "" quantum leap "" ? 
yes , if you sit down and think about it , certain plot elements in this film probably won't make any sense . 
most films are like that . 
don't let that dissuade you from seeing this fantastically entertaining film however . 
when frequency was over , it made me wish i had seen it with my father so i could have given him a hug ( okay okay , shut up ) . 
when you break it down past all its sci-fi elements and serial killer antics , frequency is simply a movie about a father and his son and the bond that they share . 
it's touching , it's sincere , and it's what ultimately makes this movie work . 
[pg-13] 
"
"1","it must be tough to be a mob boss . 
just ask paul vitti ( robert deniro ) , a man who finds his job as mafia head to be rather stress inducing . 
i can believe it , too - one can't even begin to fathom the turmoil he must go through when he's forced to choose between an ice pick , baseball bat or sledgehammer to torture victims with . 
suffering from reoccurring panic attacks , paul decides he needs to consult some professional help . 
and who better than billy crystal . 
after appearing in bottom-of-the-barrel flops , father's day and my giant , crystal finally finds a reliable costar and some very promising material here . 
playing vitti's private shrink , the two very different stars strike an unorthodox , but interesting relationship that carries this enjoyable comedy on a steady wave of laughs from start to finish . 
casting robert deniro as paul vitti is something of an in-joke , i think . 
placed in this mobster's shoes , deniro gets to spoof characters he himself played in films like the godfather , part ii and casino . 
it's obvious he's having a lot of fun doing so . 
the man behind the camera is harold ramis , whose credits include ghostbusters ( as writer and star ) , and his best directing effort , the bill murray vehicle , groundhog day . 
ramis has a knack for drawing laughs because he simply knows what's funny , and here he manages to accentuate the strengths of nearly all the actors . 
the only character who weakens the payoff is crystal's bride-to-be ( lisa kudrow ) . 
playing the same dumbed-down role as she does in friends , kudrow is amusing , but doesn't fit into this comedy mold as well as the director may have hoped . 
the supporting cast sparkles . 
joe viterelli is hilarious as jelly , vitti's pea brained right-hand man , and chazz palminteri is a show stopper playing a fellow mobster who's in desperate need of the definition of `closure' . 
the movie manages to maintain consistent chuckles throughout , putting the emphasis on 3 or 4 really big laughs that will have audiences grasping their sides . 
the situation is just too cute to resist . 
it's unfortunate that the language gets somewhat out of hand . 
but hey , if you're in the mafia , using obscenities probably comes naturally . 
and near the end , seeing billy crystal attempt to walk and talk like a mob boss is truly a special treat . 
"
"1","the caveman's valentine starring samuel l . jackson , ann magnuson , aunjanue ellis , tamara tunie screenplay by george dawes green , based on his novel directed by kasi lemmons 
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a strange mixture of _shine_ , _basquiat_ , _angel heart_ , and grant morrison & dave mckean's graphic novel "" arkham asylum "" , _the caveman's valentine_ is a feverish tale of a homeless madman-cum-detective who , on the morning of february 14th , discovers a "" valentine "" just outside his new york cave : one of ella fitzgerald's strange fruit , stuck in the crotch of a tree--a young male model murdered and frozen to a branch . 
believing at first that his imagined nemesis stuyvesant , shooting evil rays into his mind from atop the chrysler building , is responsible for the murder , romulus ( samuel l . jackson ) is put on the trail of an avant-garde photographer in the mapplethorpe mould , david leppenraub ( colm feore ) . 
his minor sleuthing interrupted by the occasional delusional fit and bouts with an ecstasy of creation ( romulus was a brilliant julliard-trained pianist prior to his psychosis ) , romulus uncovers clues and harasses suspects on his way to convincing his police-woman daughter ( aunjanue ellis ) that even though he's a nut , that doesn't mean that he can't solve a high-profile society murder . 
every moment an exhausting workshop of ideas , and every character the same , _the caveman's valentine_ is a concept so "" high concept "" that it suddenly became clear to me that the film fits into the comic book genre of entertainment , with romulus's "" caveman "" a slightly more mundane version of todd mcfarlane's urban noir hero , spawn . 
with a long-vanished wife ( tamara tunie ) acting as a spiritual guide , the occasional social caste commentary , the secret base in a cave , a divergent genius personality with a network of informants and supporters , and a wickedly colourful arch-enemy , the film piles on the lurid comic book details and dizzying slapdash colours to such a lavish extent that i was vaguely surprised that the blue police cars weren't inscribed with "" gotham pd . "" 
that being said , _the caveman's valentine_ can only really succeed as a heroic fantasy , a frank miller graphic novel that has the audacity to portray the blood staining a field of virgin snow expanding to form the shape of a heart . 
the difficulties with the film spring from the misunderstanding that it somehow adheres to the conventions of a thriller or a police procedural when , in fact , _the caveman's valentine_ is a superhero fable that takes on the cause of the homeless ( again like mcfarlane's spawn ) while attacking the entrenched ruling classes in government and the arts . 
it is no small detail that our hero , romulus , is not only named for a member of the ruling class who lived his life ( in legend ) without knowledge of his royal birth , but also that our romulus has turned his back on the comforts of the literati in favour of a mystical existence living in a cave in a park . in the romulus mythology , signs of romulus' royal blood is brought by twelve vultures , while in the film , the call to action for our hero comes in the form of not the carrion birds , but of the carrion itself . 
whether or not romulus of _the caveman's valentine_ will found a nation , or , in the case of novelist george dawes green , upon whose novel his own screenplay is based , a franchise , the fact remains that _the caveman's valentine_ is easily the most misunderstood film of 2001 thus far . 
it , along with m . night shyamalan's _unbreakable_ , is a mature cinematic extrapolation of the graphic novel format which has , since miller's seminal "" the dark knight returns "" , redefined the comic medium as one suitable for mature ruminations on psychologically sticky topics . 
readers of sam keith's brilliant "" the maxx "" comic series ( or of mtv's short-lived animated adaptation of the same ) are already familiar with the idea of a homeless man placed in the position of knight errant and king of his own twisted demesne . 
the failure of both "" the maxx "" tv show and of _the caveman's valentine_ ( not forgetting the initial backlash against _unbreakable_ ) suggests that the public may not be ready for america's surprising contributions to dark fantasy . 
luxuriantly lit , brashly saturated , and comic-panel framed with a virtuoso grace by cinematographer amy vincent ( _death in venice , ca_ ) , while inhabiting robin standefer's ( _practical magic_ ) mesmerizing sets , _the caveman's valentine_ is an unremittingly gorgeous film . 
kasi lemmons , following up her brilliant 1997 debut , _eve's bayou_ , which played on similar themes of manufactured realities and mysticism , fulfills much of her immense promise with a tale of seraphs and lost boys , artists and suffering . 
_the caveman's valentine_ is an elegant and piquant expression of hope for justice in a tilted landscape . 
clearly not for every taste , when approached with the correct paradigm , it is one of the most stunning and intensely fascinating films of the year : a redefinition of the hero archetype for a post-modern audience with urine-stained wool trench coats in place of blue tights and red capes . 
_the caveman's valentine_ is a fine and a courageous film , crazy enough to suggest that the delirious yammering of an idiot savant is the best and truest paladin of order in the chaos of eliot's rat's alley wasteland . 
"
"1","expand the final fifteen minutes of home alone into a feature-length film and you've got baby's day out--an agreeably amusing children's comedy about a bumbling band of kid kidnappers who are unwittingly outwitted by an innocent infant . 
the plot tracks a trio of crooks-posed-as-photographers ( mantegna , pantoliano , haley ) who steal nine-month-old bennington august cottwell iv , aka baby bink , from his old-money home . 
but the plan goes awry when baby crawls out an open window and into the streets of downtown chicago ! 
following the path of his favorite story , called "" baby's day out , "" baby rides a bus and visits the zoo and winds up at a skyscraper construction site . 
while baby stays unscathed , the crooks fare worse for the wear . 
the stooges get hit by boards and dropped from roofs and , of course , suffer multiple crotch injuries . 
 ( john wayne bobbitt should probably steer clear of this one . ) 
like he did in planes , trains , and automobiles , john hughes again demonstrates his mastery of the simple set-up and extended execution . 
here , he's aided and abetted by a director , patrick read johnson , whose choreography could rival a coen brother . 
best bit : baby crawling across a busy city street . 
baby's day out has only two emotions--awww and ouch--and the actors play them accordingly . 
forget the cartoon concern of lara flynn boyle or cynthia nixon , disposable as mom and nanny , respectively , the ones to watch are the ones who are wincing . 
joe mantegna is a great head stooge , barking lines like "" that little doo-doo machine is my retirement money . "" 
brian haley has a great scene with a gorilla , while joe pantolianto plays curly to mantegna's moe . 
 * he * is funny . 
needless to say , twins adam and jacob warton are adorable beyond belief . 
"
"1","waiting at the train station near the beginning of fury , joe says : `after all , we're human . ' 
in the context of events to transpire , joe's line is prophetic , foreshadowing the internal conflict of the protagonist in the latter half of the film . 
does being human necessarily imply humane behavior ? 
through the baseness of human character exemplified in the formation of a mob , fritz lang prompts the viewer to consider whether our inclination towards impulsiveness supersedes our civility . 
expressing his abhorrence towards the rise of nazism in his homeland , lang takes great care in creating a sense of discomfort during the scenes of mob hysteria . 
in the scene prefacing the lynching , the mob achieves critical mass at the bar . 
deputy meyers is brought in as an exalted informant , but when he is unable to augment the mob's myth of joe , he is quickly renounced from his position as town gossip . 
we see in a shot where two bar patrons are arguing that the deputy looks around nervously at the growing monster and then carefully slips out of the bar . 
what is quietly horrifying is the realization by both the audience and the deputy that the crowd no longer exists within the confines of reason and has succumbed to what the barber referred to as impulse . 
what once was excitement to the deputy has turned into fear with the realization that he is now powerless . 
to the audience , the deputy's quiet exit concurs with their own sinking feeling of uneasiness as the mob's delirium crescendos . 
lang educes this discomfort not through movement of the camera , but rather its stillness . 
the shot's composition places the audience equidistant and directly across from the pair of arguing patrons and the deputy effectively becomes a mirror to our own apprehensions . 
as the intensity of the mob closes around deputy meyers , it does so around the viewer as well . 
the stationary camera in this shot heightens our fears because when the deputy escapes , we are deserted by our reflection and the viewer becomes the sole proprietor of sensibility amongst a swarm of irrationality . 
because the camera does not track the deputy's movement , we are left with an amplified perception of desertion and vulnerability . 
as the bar scene progresses , the camera pans 180 degrees to reveal the fury of the mob . 
this shot is unique because it is a point-of-view shot where the audience , not a character in the film is the subject . 
while a long , or dolly shot may objectively reveal the size of the mob , panning from the mob's belly distorts the audience's spatial reference and exaggerates the claustrophobia of the scene ; we feel we are at the epicenter of something infinitely large . 
we see close shots of people's faces , contorted by their rage . 
with the pivot of the pan being in the center of the mob and angry members within a short radius of the pan , lang offers the viewer a sense of what it feels like to be the subject of a lynching . 
in this shot the audience is at the mercy of the mob ; lang's camera makes us feel vulnerable and powerless as joe must have felt in the jail . 
in some greater sense , it must have been what lang felt when he saw his countrymen overcome with unjustifiable hatred towards their own humankind . 
lang's observations of his fellow man succumbing to mob behavior left him with an indelible image of malevolent human behavior . 
as joe faces his peril , trapped in his burning cell , his dog rainbow rushes to be by his side . 
lang makes rainbow a martyr to contrast his humanity against the recklessness of his human counterparts . 
using his camera to create shots that elicit disturbing images of mob mentality , lang depicts man's volatility and `impulse' towards inconceivable cruelty . 
reprising joe' s line at the train station , we are induced to question why our primeval impulses so easily transcend our humanity . 
"
"1","because the press screening of "" planet of the apes "" was one day past last issue's deadline , i was afforded the opportunity to see the film a second time , listen to audience reactions and read a heap of reviews before writing this piece . 
the chief complaints of those who disliked the futuristic adventure appear to be that the movie focused on visuals instead of substance , that the story was thin , that mark wahlberg's character was colorless and that the surprise ending sucked . 
to those people i would like to say ? what the hell did you expect ? 
this is a tim burton movie , boys and girls . 
tim burton movies have great art direction and thin , clunky stories . 
for the blissfully nasty , disjointed and underrated "" mars attacks ! "" 
 ( jonathan rosenbaum of the chicago reader and i were two of the only critics in america to praise the movie ) burton reportedly tossed vintage "" mars attacks ! "" 
trading cards onto the floor and based his story on the ones that landed face up . 
burton's re-imagining of the 1968 story of an astronaut that lands on a planet where apes rule men looks great . 
the apes , courtesy of make-up magician rick baker , are dazzling and ape city is a wonder to behold . 
like astronaut leo davidson ( wahlberg ) , the film hits the ground running , whisking viewers through a head-spinning series of solid one-liners and engaging vignettes and establishing a sense of thrust that carries us through the more traditional fight scenes that come later . 
as for wahlberg , consider what burton does with his character . 
from his start as a filmmaker , burton has shown his fascination with colorful misfits ( pee-wee herman , the joker , ed wood , the ack-acking martians , etc . ) and lack of interest in standard issue heroes . 
so leo davidson spends most of the movie getting the living shit kicked out of him before the biggest guilt trip in history is dropped on his shoulders . 
as for lack of color , remember , leo only launches into space to get his monkey back . 
he doesn't want to lead humanity and he isn't looking for romance from a pretty , but dull human ( estella warren ) or a dynamic ape ( helena bonham carter , terrific as an equal-rights activist ) . 
as a man who just wants out , wahlberg is focused , subtle and sly . 
the surprise ending provides the requisite shock ( and some more dandy visuals , particularly of the approaching authority figures ) , but admittedly isn't nearly as satisfying as the one in the original . 
for the original ending to work , we only had to make one simple connection , for this one , we have to write a whole new screenplay . 
the 1968 "" apes "" boasted a handful of great scenes , cool looking monkeys , a deliciously hammy performance by charlton heston ( who appears uncredited here as an aged chimp on his deathbed , re-delivering a classic line ) and a killer ending . 
but viewers had to suffer through numerous dull stretches punctuated by social and political messages delivered with the grace of a wrecking ball . 
the 2001 "" planet of the apes "" offers a different set of great scenes , much cooler looking monkeys , fine acting from wahlberg , bonham carter , paul giamatti and tim roth , and a not so good ending . 
it also gives us another chance to experience the skewed vision of tim burton and that's nothing to complain about . 
"
"1","in 1977 , something never though possible happened . 
the film star wars was released , with extraordinary , never seen before techniques of special effects . 
the film set a new standard for special effects in film . 
not only did it set a standard for the special effects , it set a standard for film itself . 
the plot is one of the most creative i heard ever . 
the legend of star wars starts long ago with the jedi . 
the jedi were warriors who were wiped out by the dark side . 
darth vader is the leader of the dark side . 
ben obi-wan kenobi , played by sir alec guinness , was one of those jedi who is still alive today . 
darth vader was once a jedi , until he turned to the dark side . 
years after the killing of the jedi , darth vader is still around causing trouble . 
r2-d2 and c-3p0 are both what we call "" driods "" , or robots that are of assistance to humans . 
while an attack on the ship that princess leia , played by carrie fisher , is aboard , she inserts a message to r2-d2 , who is also on the ship . 
to obi-wan kenobi pleading for help . 
the princess is captured by vader , but r2-d2 and c-3p0 get away on an escape pod that eventually lands them on the remote planet of tatooine . 
the jawas , or small creatures who sell droids , pick r2-d2 and c-3p0 up to sell . 
they are bought by luke skywalker's ( mark hamill ) family . 
while luke is cleaning the droids , the message from princess leia is found . 
luke finds this obi-wan kenobi , and learns that obi-wan was a friend of luke's father , who is now dead . 
luke also learns his family was a jedi . 
after luke's family is killed by tropps from the dark side , ben decides to put luke through training to stop the dark side and destroy them once and for all . 
ben wants to create a new jedi . 
first , the two must find princess leia and serve her . 
han solo , played by harrison ford , and his sidekick chewbacca , played by peter mayhew , are consulted about providing a ship to complete the tasks necessary . 
after meeting up with leia , the film really picks up . 
luke continues his training as a pilot and to become a jedi , ben kenobi confronts darth vader , and many other interesting events occur . 
star wars is an amazing epic . 
the plot is so original and amazing , i cannot believe it . 
the special effects , especially for its time , are wonderful and realistic . 
the space scenes in particular are the most fun to watch . 
the ships flown by all are very unique and creative . 
the costumes are also out of this world . 
the scenery is so different from anything i have ever seen before . 
there are a variety of different very memorable set pieces that will stay with me forever . 
the entire premise of star wars is amazing . 
the creatures and droids that we see throughout the film are one of a kind . 
even the human characters are different . 
every character is extremely likable and different from characters from other sci fi films . 
the acting on everyone's part is great , especially that of sir alec guinness's . 
even though the concept is not realistic at all , it is pulled off very nicely . 
the acting , setting , effects , costumes , and sound make it work . 
if any of these were messed up , star wars would have come off as one huge joke . 
the ending works very well , and left it very open to the sequels that came afterward . 
in early 1997 , a special edition of star wars was released . 
the film was re-mastered so it looked better than it did in 1977 . 
a few creatures were added here and there , and even an entire deleted scene with han solo and jabba the hutt ( seen in return of the jedi ) was added to the film . 
think that's enough ? 
on may 19 , 1999 , star wars episode i : the phantom menace will be released , followed by two more films that will reveal what went on before a new hope . 
with this , star wars is bound to become the greatest tale told in our time . 
"
"1","if you want some hearty laughs , then rat race is the movie for you . 
this unpretentious little comedy , which sneaks into theaters today with very little hype , will have you bouncing in your theater seat . 
and while the film fits neatly into the low-brow , slapstick school of comedy , one refreshing aspect is its lack of mean-spiritedness . 
the plot follows a group of people chosen at random by an eccentric las vegas casino owner ( john cleese ) who must race from vegas to a bus station locker 700 miles away in silver city , n . m . 
inside the locker is a duffel bag containing $2 million . 
the first one to open the locker , gets the bag and the money . 
what the group of participants doesn't know is that cleese's donald sinclair ( "" i can do anything i want - i'm eccentric ! "" ) is staging the race as a betting game for a group of high rollers at the hotel . 
the participants include vera ( whoopi goldberg ) and merrill ( lanai chapman ) , a newly reunited mother and daughter ; disgraced pro football referee owen templeton ( cuba gooding jr . ) ; italian tourist mr . pollini ( rowan atkinson ) ; randy pear ( jon lovitz ) and his family ; the bumbling con men duane and blaine cody ( seth green and vince vieluf ) ; and cynical young lawyer nick shaffer ( breckin meyer ) . 
various amusing encounters and mishaps befall the participants en route to silver city . 
screenwriter andy breckman adds a nice touch by not having the racers try to sabotage one another . 
the most side-splitting situations involve vera and merrill's encounter with the squirrel lady , a nice nutsy cameo by kathy bates ; owen's commandeering a charter bus full of lucille ball look-alikes on their way to a lucy convention ; the cody brothers misadventures with a hot-air balloon , a flying cow and a monster truck ; and the pear family's stopover at a barbie museum , which turns out not to be what they think it is . 
the pear family situation is a fine example of the way breckman's script builds the laughs . 
without going into detail , this bit segues from the museum to hitler's touring car , to eva braun's dark lipstick , to lovitz burning his tongue , culminating at a ceremony honoring world war ii veterans . 
rat race's cast is first rate . 
cleese is wonderfully devilish and madcap ; lovitz is , at first , a bit whiny , but his character grows on you ; gooding is having a fine romp ; and dave thomas almost steals the show as cleese's deadpan assistant , a man "" born without a personality . "" 
the film is directed by jerry zucker , who knows something about comedy . 
along with his brother , david , and friend jim abrahams , he was responsible for such hits as airplane ! 
and ruthless people . 
a throwaway subplot , which is good for some laughs , features cleese and his buddies , betting on a series of outlandish situations , including one dealing with a hooker and pepto-bismol . 
this is a fun little feature . 
the only letdown comes at the finale , which is too touchy-feely and sweet , almost negating what came before it . 
rat race is a summer sleeper , but it will keep you awake , as will the laughter of those watching around you . 
"
"1","i had a chance to see a sneak preview of city slickers ii on campus last night . 
i went in with the expectation of a film with the similar flavor which made the original such a success : personal growth and insightful humor about life . 
i came away somewhat disappointed in this regard , getting some of the latter and not much of the former . 
the basic plot revolves around billy crystal , who plays mitch robbins , turning forty . 
he's now become the station manager of the radio station in which he worked in the original . 
he's given a job at the radio station to his best friend , played by daniel stern , out of sympathy while stern's character works through his divorce . 
his loser younger brother ( john lovitz ) comes to mitch's house to bum a money and place to live , all while mitch and his wife try to celebrate his birthday . 
during the celebration , mitch discovers what appears to be a treasure map in curly's ( the cattle drive leader in the original played by jack palance ) old hat . 
after a business trip to las vegas , crystal , stern , and lovitz stay a few extra days to go off in search of the treasure . 
on the way , they run into curly's twin brother , duke , played by ( you know who ) jack palance . 
first of all , the cinematography was beautifully done , especially the outdoor scenes in the desert . 
the scenes are such that i would like to see some of those sights filmed myself . 
there is some character development during the film . 
the actors remain true to their characters and play them well , without overplaying the jokes . 
the movie is a good basic adventure , with enough plot twists to provide for an ending that is difficult to predict . 
the movie is paced well , but with a couple slow spots in the middle and towards the end . 
humor-wise , the film has a good number of jokes which maintained my interest throughout the film . 
there are memorable moments like when stern is bitten by a snake , but there are fewer jokes to laugh at in the sequel ( surprise , surprise for a sequel , right ? ) . 
however , the slight bitter aftertaste i have with this film has to do mainly with the film's manipulation of the audience . 
the film tries to pull your heart-strings too much regarding how close the characters are to each other , like when mitch had decided to suck the snake marrow out of his best friend's butt . 
this is done again when the gang meets up with some members of the cattle drive group from the original . 
there were also some parts which appeared unrealistic , like whether the stampede would start in the way it did or why they didn't worry more about water while tromping around the desert . 
some strenuous stretches of the imagination are required here . 
since the objective of the gang is to find gold and get rich ( unlike finding themselves in middle age like in the original ) , i also found it harder to empathize with the characters during their journey . 
overall , i'd say that the film is an entertaining and humorous adventure with some story-line deficiencies making it less worthy than the original . 
it may be worth the full price of admission , but a matinee would be a better bargain . 
"
"1","the "" submarine "" genre of movies seems to be one of the most intriguing and compelling types of storytelling there is . 
think about it . . . 
these films are completely based in reality , yet only a handful of people have ever been on one , making them fascinating to the general public . 
they aren't like movies that take place on a plane or a train , as anybody can get on one of those . 
and they aren't like movies that happen in outer space either , because no one's done any of that stuff yet . 
when a new one comes out , you don't hear anyone say "" ugh , another submarine movie "" like people tend to say "" ugh , another boxing movie "" . 
look at modern movies that involve submarines : das boot , the abyss , the hunt for red october , crimson tide . . . 
all are well regarded as top-notch entertainment . 
gladly joining that bunch is u-571 , which stars matthew mcconaughey as the executive officer of a u . s . naval submarine during world war ii . 
we learn he has been denied a recommendation for his own command by his superior ( bill paxton ) . 
mcconaughey's crew then receives orders that they will be boarding a disabled german submarine to steal the enigma , a german communications encoding device that has stumped allied intelligence . 
the mission goes horribly wrong however , and as a result , mcconaughey and only a handful of his crew ( as well as a captured german ) become trapped aboard the u-571 in enemy waters . 
the first great thing about u-571 is the film's opening sequence . 
the german crew of u-571 are under attack , which sets the events of the rest of the film into motion . 
it's tense , exciting and fascinating . 
and i applaud the filmmakers for not copping out and instead keeping the entire sequence in german with english subtitles . 
most movies with a scene this long would have panicked and had the german crew speaking english right away . 
once the plot gets moving , u-571 gives us action sequence after action sequence , making the audience wonder "" ok , now how do they get out of this ? "" . 
the stakes keep raising ( much like in executive decision , an excellent action-thriller ) , and even though the audience knows how the film will end , it's a lot of fun getting there . 
i only have two minor complaints about the entire film . 
the first comes from the scenes which follow the opening sequence . 
while their purpose is to introduce us to the characters and to get the story going ( which they do ) , i feel as though it could have been done much quicker , and less conventionally . 
i mean , did we really have to see the ship's crew at a wedding ? 
because of that , you now know exactly what's going to happen to the groom ! 
my other gripe would be during the film's finale . 
there's an explosion which ends the film that is one of the weakest looking cgi effects since the president's plane crashed into the ocean at the end of air force one . 
i cannot stress this enough . . . 
until a cgi effect can be made to look like a model effect , stick with using models . 
yes , u-571 is historically incorrect and there are surely some specifics in the plot that people who have been onboard a submarine will tell you "" that couldn't happen "" , but the overall point of this film is entertainment . 
it succeeds fantastically . 
[pg-13] 
"
"1","we share the descent into darkness of a talented boy pianist . 
years later we see his subsequent resurfacing ; in the mid 80's a damaged man walks out of a rainstorm and back into the world . 
the movie charts the causes of his mental breakdown . 
based on the life story of david helfgott , this australian film is a rich exploration of the pressures drilling in upon a child-genius , compounded by the looming shadow of a domineering father . 
in the 1950's helfgott emerged as a child prodigy . 
the film traces his relationship with his father , whose encouragement comes at the cost of demanding david have no life beyond that of the black and white keys . 
david is offered places in the usa , but his father refuses to let him leave australia . 
the effect this has upon helfgott is cleverly told via a single reverse tracked shot ; david is sobbing on the front doorway of his music teacher's house . 
he is well lit via the external house lights . 
his teacher isn't home . 
we pull back and see that the dark front room's window has it's curtains open . 
there , in a pool of blackness , is a grand piano . 
david's fall over the dark cliff has begun . 
instead of being told in a linear mode , shine jumps around in time , ala "" pulp fiction "" . 
this narrative device works well ; we see david as a boy , teenager in london and mental-patient in various snippets . 
the film then neatly loops back for its uplifting conclusion . 
adult-helfgott's return to the light is told in linear fashion . 
the lead role is played by 3 different actors , with the teenage-david ( taylor ) and adult-david ( rush ) standing out . 
whilst rush is known for his tv work in australia , i think this is his first major cinema work . 
his david , whilst clearly damaged - he keeps quoting his "" daddy "" in a babbling word torrent , cuddles strangers and grabs women on the breasts - is both touching and funny . 
taylor's teenage-david is the more sympathy producing role . 
we are mute witness to his gradual breakdown as the pressures just keep on building . 
his father wants him to play the very demanding rachmaninov's 3rd , whilst his teacher wants to start him with a simple mozart . 
technically this is a beautiful film and a lot of thought has gone in to the production . 
i particularly like the use of slow motion and sound effects . 
one scene has adult-helfgott happily babbling in a car in the rain . 
the sound of the windshield wipers fades up over his voice . 
with a clever subtlety , the wiper sound appears to morph into a rhythmic thumping , but of the same beat . 
the image dissolves and we realise the thumping is the slow motion applause of a crowd . 
but it's us being clapped . 
we are young-david walking up to the stage for our first public show . 
the music , as you would expect from a film of this subject matter , is critical . 
and it works very well . 
the 'miming' of the actors piano playing is faultless ( apparently rush didn't mime ; he really did play ) 
helfgott's life is certainly not without it's sympathetic people . 
indeed his return to the 'normal' world is accelerated by his chance meetings with two very special women . 
his ultimately uplifting story is a magic piece of theatre craft . 
it shows that with the 'help of god' we can all find our way back home . 
"
"1","today , war became a reality to me after seeing a screening of saving priivate ryan . 
steve spielberg goes beyond reality with his latest production . 
the audience is tossed about the theatre witnessing the horror of war . 
please keep the kids home as the r rating is for reality . 
tom hanks is stunning as capt john miller , set out in france during ww ii to rescue and return home a soldier , private ryan ( matt damon ) who lost three brothers in the war . 
spielberg at time takes us inside the heads of these individuals as they face death during the horrific battle scenes . 
private ryan is not for everyone , but i felt the time was right for a movie like this to be made . 
the movie reminds us of the sacrifices made by our ww ii fighting men and women . 
we must not ever forget them as many gave the ultimate sacrifice , their lives so that we may live in freedom today . 
for this i thank them and for steve spielberg for making a movie that i will never forget . 
the academy will not forget tom hanks come april 1999 , as another well deserved oscar with be in tom's posession . 
"
"1","well , i'll admit when i first heard about this film ( which was before dante's peak ) i could just smell what 'twister' had started . 
so now it seems that we're in a full fledged return to the '70's disaster film era . 
with 'twister' , 'dante's peak' , 'volcano' and soon 'flood' and james cameron's extremly expensive 'titanic' 
i'll say first off i enjoyed 'volcano' much more than i did 'dantes peak' . 
part of that is just being biased as i usually enjoy anything that tommy lee jones appears in . 
i've been reading a lot about the movie being 'cheezy' or 'hokey' and really didn't see or think that once during the entire film . 
i get bored easily and this film didn't bore me for a minute . 
another thing , and boy am i bitching today ! , that bothers me is when critics and such go on about "" well thats not really possible . "" 
you know what ? 
i couldn't give a bloody damn if it's possible or not , really i couldn't . 
it's a freaking movie and i don't want reality thrown in my face . 
i want to be able to see the impossible , the all might "" what if "" to many reviewers have seen one to many movies ! 
the special effects are the second star to this feature . 
they are so amazing that i found it hard sometimes to believe they were indeed fx and la was was not burning to the ground . 
they did an incredible job and come oscar time ( if they remember ) some notice better be thrown there way . 
"
"1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
during the three years since the release of the groundbreaking success pulp fiction , the cinematic output from its creator , quentin tarantino , has been surprisingly low . 
oh , he's been busy -- doing the talk show circuit , taking small roles in various films , overseeing the production of his screenplay from dusk till dawn , making cameo appearances on television shows , providing a vignette for the ill-fated anthology four rooms -- everything , it seems , except direct another feature-length film . 
it's been the long intermission between projects as well as the dizzying peak which pulp fiction reached which has made mr . tarantino's new feature film , jackie brown , one of the most anticipated films of the year , and his third feature film cements his reputation as the single most important new american filmmaker to emerge from the 1990s . 
things aren't going well for jackie brown ( pam grier ) . 
she's 44 years old , stuck at a dead-end job ( "" $16 , 000 a year , plus retirement benefits that aren't worth a damn "" ) as a flight attendant for the worst airline in north america -- and she's just been caught at the airport by atf agent ray nicolette ( portrayed with terrific childlike enthusiasm by michael keaton ) and police officer mark dargus ( michael bowen ) smuggling $50 000 from mexico for gun-runner ordell robbie ( samuel l . jackson ) , who has her bailed out by unassuming bail bondsman max cherry ( robert forster ) . 
the loquacious ordell , based out of a hermosa beach house where his horny , bong-hitting surfer girl melanie ( bridget fonda ) and agreeable crony louis gara ( robert de niro ) hang out , operates under the policy that the best rat is a dead rat , and he's soon out to silence jackie brown . 
meanwhile , the authorities' target is ordell , and they want jackie to help them by arranging a sting to the tune of a half-million dollars . 
only through a series of clever twists , turns , and double-crosses will jackie be able to gain the upper hand on both of her nemeses . 
although jackie brown marks mr . tarantino's first produced screenplay adaptation ( based on the elmore leonard novel "" rum punch "" ) , there's no mistaking his distinctive fingerprints all over this film . 
while he's adhered closely to the source material in a narrative sense , the setting has been relocated to los angeles and the lead character's now black . 
in terms of ambiance , the film harkens back to the 1970s , from the wall-to-wall funk and soul music drowning the soundtrack to the nondescript look of the sets -- even the opening title credit sequence has the echo of vintage 1970s productions . 
the opening sequence featuring ms . grier wordlessly striding through the lax , funky music blaring away on the speakers , is emblematic of films of that era . 
the timeframe for the film is in fact 1995 , but the atmosphere of jackie brown is decidedly retro . 
of course , nothing in the film screams 1970s more than the casting of pam grier and robert forster as the two leads , and although the caper intrigue is fun to watch as the plot twists , backstabbing , and deceptions deliciously unfold , the strength of jackie brown is the quiet , understated relationship developed between jackie and max ; when they kiss , it's perhaps the most tender scene of the year . 
tenderness ? in a quentin tarantino film ? 
sure , there've been moments of sweetness in his prior films -- the affectionate exchanges between the bruce willis and maria de madeiros characters in pulp fiction and the unflagging dedication shared by the characters of tim roth and amanda plummer , or even in reservoir dogs , where a deep , unspoken bond develops between the harvey keitel and tim roth characters -- but for the most part , mr . tarantino's films are typified by manic energy , unexpected outbursts of violence , and clever , often wordy , banter . 
these staples of his work are all present in jackie brown , but what's new here is a different facet of his storytelling -- a willingness to imbue the film with a poignant emotional undercurrent , and a patience to draw out several scenes with great deliberation . 
this effective demonstration of range prohibits the pigeonholing of mr . tarantino as simply a helmer of slick , hip crime dramas with fast-talking lowlifes , and heralds him as a bonafide multifaceted talent ; he's the real deal . 
this new aspect of mr . tarantino's storytelling is probably best embodied in a single character -- that of the world-weary , sensitive , and exceedingly-professional max cherry , whose unspoken attraction to jackie is touching . 
mr . forster's nuanced , understated performance is the best in the film ; he creates an amiable character of such poignancy that when he gazes at jackie , we smile along with him . 
much press has been given about the casting of blaxploitation-era icon pam grier in the lead , with the wags buzzing that mr . tarantino may do for her what his pulp fiction did to bolster john travolta's then-sagging career . 
as it turns out , ms . grier is solid in the film's title role , although nothing here forces her to test her range . 
i do have to take exception to the claim that this film marks her career resurrection , though -- she's been working steadily over the years , often in direct-to-video action flicks , but also in such recent theatrical releases as tim burton's mars attacks ! 
and larry cohen's original gangstas ( where she first teamed up with mr . forster . ) 
of course , it's true that her role here was a godsend -- a meaty a part as this is rarity for * any * actress , let alone one of her age and current status in the industry . 
while jackie brown may disappoint those looking for another pulp fiction clone , it marks tremendous growth of mr . tarantino as a director whose horizons are rapidly expanding , and whose characterizations have never been better . 
and while the film's narrative doesn't really warrant a running time of 155 minutes , it's filled with such sumptuous riches , ranging from the brashness of the vivid soundtrack to entertaining , inconsequential conversations between the characters , that there wasn't an unengaging moment . 
with an impressive trio of feature films under his belt , it'll be interesting to see what he tries next . 
"
"1"," "" last night "" could have an "" aka "" tagged on the end of it that says , "" it's the end of the world , and we feel fine "" . 
 "" last night "" is about just that . 
the last night of planet earth's existence . 
the world is going to end at precisely midnight , january 1st , 2000 . 
how scientists were so accurately able to predict when this catastrophic event would occur is never explained . 
nor is the event itself . 
throughout the entire movie , no explanation is given as to why this is happening . 
in doing this , mckellar ( who also wrote and directed the film ) seems to be trying to transcend the genre . 
he's attempted to make a film about people , and how each of them deals with their last night of life . 
the film contains no science fiction elements , which allows the viewer to concentrate on the feelings and actions of the characters . 
mckellar is largely successful in his attempt to rise above his material . 
the film is set in toronto , and follows several people in their various escapades on the last night of existence . 
there's mckellar , who plays a man who just wants to be alone when the moment occurs , but keeps getting interrupted by a woman ( sandra oh ) in search of her husband . 
her husband , played by david cronenberg , is spending the day working at the gas company , informing people that they will attempt to keep providing gas right up until the end . 
finally , there's mckellar's friend , played by callum keith rennie , a man who has spent his final months trying out every sexual perversion you can think of . 
mckellar has crafted a gang of the some of the most interesting characters i've seen in a film in months . 
these people all felt real to me , especially the character played by sandra oh . 
we can see her desperation , her utter need to be with her husband in the final hours . 
rennie is good , too , as the man who wants to literally try everything before he dies . 
he exudes such charm and likeablity , it's not surprising that we're rooting for him to get what he wants . 
but for me , the biggest surprise in the movie is mckellar . 
i knew that he was a talented director , but i had no idea he could act as well . 
his insistence to be alone , much to the dismay of his parents , is something that most people would find difficult to understand , but as played by mckellar , we can understand his reasons . 
he doesn't buy into the whole notion that just because everyone's going to die , he should immediately find some companionship . 
he realizes the relationship would be forced , and they would only be together for the sake of being together . 
mckellar gives a brilliant performance , and i hope he alternates between directing and acting . 
my only quibble with the film is that we never find out why the world is ending . 
i really wanted to know , and my need to know was hanging over the film at all times . 
i appreciate the fact that mckellar didn't want the material to rule the film , and that he wanted the movie to be more of a study in human behavious . 
however , in not telling the audience what the cause of earth's destruction is , he's left a big question that is in their minds throughout the film . 
another problem is we never see anybody panicking . 
i would imagine if the world was ending , and there was nothing to be done about it , a large segment of the population would be going out of their minds . 
instead , we are treated to shots of a giant crowd partying like it's new year's eve . 
i just didn't buy the fact that everyone had completely accepted their fate . 
no one had the urge to "" rage against the dying of the light "" . 
despite these small problems , "" last night "" is one of the best movies of the year . 
as opposed to the moronic "" armageddon "" , "" last night "" treats the subject at hand with maturity and believabilty . 
and bruce willis never shows up to save the day . 
"
"1"," "" a bug's life "" may not be "" toy story , "" but it's more close than "" antz "" was . 
i really liked "" antz , "" basically because , yes , it is clever and witty and intelligent ( and it has the temerity to take a chance and put woody allen in the lead , perhaps the year's most inspired casting ) , but there was , in fact , something missing from it , and i'm the first to admit that . 
maybe it's that it never totally lets go and takes off into real innocent fun - it's too obsessed with its orwellian message to become totally engaging , and if it weren't for woody allen , it would have been just a really clever good-not-great flick . 
 "" a bug's life "" has a similar premise , and it also has disney to insure that it's g-rated and not totally over kids' heads like "" antz "" was ( not a bad thing , believe me ) , but what it also has is a tone that's completely innocent even when it's also remaining perpetually clever . 
 "" antz "" is still the more witty film , and i love it for it , and "" a bug's life "" is more for general consumption , but it's also more entertaining . 
it broadens its horizons , and when it really moves from the ant colony , it really shows us a whole new world we've never seen before , and it's take on the evolution of bugs is a lot better than the one in "" antz . "" 
it's also light and clever . 
the visuals are , instead of earth tones , bright worldly colors , and still gives the amazing visual technology of "" antz "" at least a worthy contender . 
the characters are also nicely realized - though watered-down for broad consumption , they still carry more wit than the contemporary disney animated films . 
the lead character , flik ( voiced by dave foley ) , is nothing more than a slightly-less neurotic z from "" antz , "" but foley makes him nearly as engaging as allen made z . instead of gene hackman playing the villain , we get the much more menacing kevin spacey as the lead grasshopper , the nicely-titled hopper . 
and for the romantic lead , we don't get spacey sharon stone , but intelligent and hard-to-get julia-louis dreyfuss , who doesn't even come around until the very final frames . 
not that the plot's really any better than the one in "" antz "" - it's basically yet another redux of "" the seven samurai , "" with an ant colony under the control of giant grasshoppers forcing them to produce a product for them or else . 
when flik , a bone fide inventor , creates a time-conserving apparatus that accidentally destroys the season's donation , he puts them all in risk , and is sent away so that he won't screw anything up with the pretense that he is searching for help to fight the grasshoppers . 
he runs into a group of "" warrirors "" who are , unbeknownst to him , a group of carnival bugs , and they agree to help under similar false pretenses . 
these bugs are an equally wonderful assortment to anything in "" toy story "" : foppish walking stick slim ( david hyde-pierce ) , german caterpillar heimlich ( joe ranft ) , quick-tempered and insecure male ladybug francis ( denis leary ) , pretentious praying mantis manny ( jonathan harris ) , his assistant butterfly hypsy ( madeliene kahn ) , spider rosie ( bonnie hunt ) , and two fleas , tuck and roll ( michael mcshane ) , who speak in undiscernable jibberish . 
the writers lightly touch on each bug's place in bug society and the malleability thereof while making a wisecracks at everything they can , and blowing the audience away with wild visual treats . 
grasshoppers jumping in unison seems like a menacing earthquake . 
a small bird becomes an ominous mortal threat , whose usual mild-mannered squeal is a scream of death . 
the bug city is a modern-day metropolis , complete with fireflies temping as traffic lights and a fly sitting on the curb , holding out a cup , with a sign lying next to him that says "" kid tore off wings . "" 
and a rainstorm is like a giant flood , with each drop acting like a small bomb dropped at millions of miles per hour . 
around this , the pixar animators stage several large set pieces , like a resuce mission halfway through that is as wild and entertaining as anything this year , and a wonderfully exciting action piece at the end , a chase scene at night through the labyrinthine branches of a small thicket . 
meanwhile , each character gets the spotlight to be completely idisyncratic and interesting , something "" antz "" couldn't do , and by the end , over the end credits , "" a bug's life "" pulls it's final punch , out clever-ing "" antz "" with a series of incessantly hilarious faux-bloopers that come just at the right time , when those who leave immeadiately after the final frame of a film have left , and you can brag that you were one of the elite who stayed and got the full money's worth of entertainment . 
still , it's no "" toy story . "" 
that film , maybe above any animated film i've ever seen , encompassed almost true perfection in story , character , and wit . 
it proved that it didn't need to brag about it's cutting edge technology to really soar ( it's the least visually striking of the three computer animated films thus far , but is still the most satisfying ) , and created a perfect world of idiosyncratic delights and innocent fun . 
yet "" a bug's life , "" as well as "" antz , "" are still amazing films , and prove without doubt , that if you're gonna make a computer animated film , send it to the guys who created these three flicks , evne if they're not working under the same roof . 
"
"1","when i saw the trailer for "" the sixth sense , "" i didn't expect much from it . 
my snap judgment was that it was a watered-down version of "" the shining "" or possibly a late-entry in the glut of angel-related movies/tv shows of a couple years ago . 
but all the buzz motivated me to give it a shot . 
it turned out to be one of the most satisfying movie experiences of the year . 
bruce willis plays child psychologist malcolm crowe . 
at the beginning of the movie , he is admiring an award the city has given him for his work , but he is soon confronted by vincent , a patient malcolm failed years earlier ( donnie wahlberg-former new kid-in an impressive cameo ) . 
a year passes , and malcolm is treating another child with the same symptoms vincent displayed . 
cole sear ( haley joel osment ) is a withdrawn kid who is called "" freak "" by the other boys in the neighborhood . 
weird things seem to happen around cole-his mother ( olivia williams ) leaves the kitchen for a moment and returns to find every cabinet and drawer open even though cole hasn't moved-and cole seems to know things that a kid his age shouldn't-for example , that there was once a gallows in his school . 
he steals religious icons from churches to build a chapel in a pup tent in his bedroom . 
the trailer gave away the movie's first major plot twist . 
if it hadn't , the first hour of the movie would be more engrossing because we wouldn't know what's wrong with cole . 
if you're lucky enough to have not seen the trailer , stop reading this review right now and go see "" the sixth sense . "" 
anyway , since the trailer gave it away , i figure it's fair game to discuss here . 
once malcolm gains cole's trust , cole reveals his secret : he sees ghosts everywhere . 
dead people wander around not knowing that they're dead , invisible to everyone except cole . 
malcolm gradually begins to realize that cole is telling the truth . 
the box office success of "" the sixth sense "" has generated a lot of press about how horror movies rule the box office this year and lots of theories about why that's so . 
i hate to burst anybody's bubble , but "" the sixth sense "" isn't really a horror film . 
at its core , "" the sixth sense "" is a touching story of how a troubled kid and an emotionally-scarred adult help each other to move past their problems . 
some scenes with the ghosts are wonderfully creepy , though . 
one that really got to me : the ghost of a boy says to cole , "" i'll show you where my dad keeps his gun "" ; when the ghost turns , we see the bullet wound in the back of his head . 
osment gives the best performance i've ever seen from a child actor . 
it's hard enough to find a grown-up in hollywood who can give a subtle , realistic portrayal ! 
although willis gets top billing , cole is really the protagonist of the story , and osment truly brings the complex kid to life . 
if only willis' work were as impressive . 
accustomed to delivering catchphrases rather than dialogue , willis is stiff and awkward as malcolm , his most challenging role to date . 
 ( this is a bad omen for his next movie , "" the story of us , "" which chronicles the ups and downs of a marriage ) . 
writer/director m . night shyamalan has a light , poetic touch that goes to the heart of the viewer without seeming sappy or trite . 
he's also a skillful storyteller , as the movie's ending demonstrates . 
only when the final secret is revealed do you realize that shyamalan has been hinting at it throughout the movie . 
look for a cameo by the director as a doctor who treats cole . 
bottom line : osment should get an oscar nomination , and you should go see this movie . 
"
"1","near the end of frank capra's holiday classic , its a wonderful life , george bailey ( jimmy stewart ) is feeling down . 
he has devoted his life to others , and never fulfilled his dream of leaving his small supburb town , bedford falls . 
standing upon a bridge above stormy waters , he looks down , contemplating suicide . 
he has potential he hasn't fulfilled -- yet , he has done so much for others . 
as a young chap , his ambition was to leave his hometown of bedford falls . 
but times and ambitions change . 
things happen , and he's stuck . 
his guardian angel is there , and shows him that . . . it's 
a wonderful life . 
in a whirlwind tour of the town , george sees what life would be like without him . 
he learns the moral lesson , that to live is a gift . 
his earthly problems are solved . 
the climatic scene is a marvel . 
frank capra's film is a centenial classic -- watched and re-experienced by every generation . 
wonderful life is one of the few pictures of times gone by that seems as fresh , maybe fresher , then it did when it was first released . 
many films of the thirties through seventies have aged poorly . 
but this one is a near flawless example of how well a perfect script and timing can mesh with first-rate acting , wit and suspense , glorious music , and terrific set peices . 
the only even slightly dated scenes are those at the begining in which god has a long chat with clarence , george's guardian angel . 
they aren't all that bad , but they remain corny and a little out of place . 
nevertheless , this is one film that deserves its place in time , cinema history , and our hearts . 
it can be equally appreciated by anyone of any age . 
here is one genuine masterpeice , a classic that reaches heights and ambitions near perfection . 
this crackling good mixture results in a film which is at once funny , exciting , moving and uplifting . 
the film itself is almost a reversal of the life of george bailey -- there isn't too much to it , but capra and the gang ( various screenwriters , composers , actors ) plumet the material to its fullest potential . 
the result is a film -- though not at first intended to be pigeon-holed as a holiday film -- that will always be remembered , celebrated , and loved . 
"
"1","jerry springer has got nothing on "" wild things . "" 
john mcnaughton's new thriller tackles more tawdry themes in less than two hours than springer's notoriously sleazy talk show broadcasts in two weeks -- bisexuality , threesomes , poolside catfights , slutty rich bimbos , even redneck gator-wrestling , they're all part of the movie's raucous , complex storyline . 
but even trash tv topicality can't drag "" wild things "" down -- this crazy campfest plays like something you'd find late-night on the usa network , only infinitely more palatable and with a solid ensemble cast . 
despite a smattering of needless scenes ( most of them sexual in nature ) , there's wicked fun to be had here . 
 "" wild things "" would be a guilty pleasure , only there's no guilty feeling involved in having a good time with it . 
high school guidance counselor sam lombardo ( matt dillon ) is well-liked in the town of blue bay , especially by pretty , popular kelly van ryan ( denise richards ) , whose family name is among the florida yachting enclave's most financially prominent . 
hoping to take her crush to a physical level , kelly seductively slinks into lombardo's house after washing his jeep for a fundraiser , but , the very next day , tearfully admits to her trollop mother ( theresa russell ) that she was raped . 
before long , blue bay detectives ray duquette ( kevin bacon ) and gloria perez ( daphne rubin-vega ) are listening to similar allegations from kelly's rebel classmate suzie toller ( neve campbell ) . 
lombardo , who maintains his innocence , hires neck brace-sporting , opportunistic lawyer ken bowden ( bill murray ) to defend him in court . 
the previews give away the following revelations , so if you haven't seen any of the movie's spots on the television or in the theater , you might want to skip to the next paragraph . 
while cross-examining suzie on the witness stand , bowden gets her to break down and admit that the alleged rapes never took place -- that kelly had concocted this entire scheme because she was angry that lombardo was sleeping with her mother and not with her . 
to pay lombardo for the damages , kelly's mother breaks her daughter's trust fund and gives him $8 . 5 million . 
but lombardo , kelly and suzie are actually all working together , and plan to take the money and run as fast as they can . 
duquette and perez , however , begin to suspect that there's more afoot to the case than just false accusations . 
if there's a major drawback to "" wild things , "" it's that it's oversexed to a fault . 
the much-talked-about hotel room menage-a-trois between dillon , campbell and richards is a turn-off . 
it's also cut short ( sorry , guys ) , and should have been cut shorter -- the movie grinds to a halt for pure titillation once too often . 
what we don't see is far more effective than what we do . 
another example of this is kevin bacon needlessly going the full monty in a shower scene . 
er , no thanks . 
also , bacon's duquette feels simultaneously underdeveloped and overwritten . 
daphne rubin-vega , from broadway's "" rent , "" tries to compensate for a superfluous character . 
theresa russell is just plain wooden . 
and when , in the end , all is out in the open , ask yourself if certain scenes involving these three were really necessary . 
but what keeps the movie from being throwaway junk is an engaging chain of surprises ( some predictable , some not ) that never seems to end . 
 "" wild things "" has more twists than a crate full of corkscrews , and most are so gleefully , over-the-top nasty that you can't help but be charmed by their absurd showmanship . 
a great deal of amusement also comes from watching bill murray in a supporting part that appears to have been written for his sly comedic talent ; murray's a stitch , especially when pulling up beside the van ryan limo after winning lombardo's case and flipping them off . 
and don't leave when the closing credits hit the screen , or you'll miss the film's best part -- four bonus flashbacks that smooth over plot holes while offering a few more tiny turns , plus a final scene that caps everything off with a great stunner of a bombshell . 
speaking of bombshells , denise richards , who plays almost every scene in a blue bikini top , does the teen tease thing with a malicious allure that she was never allowed to flaunt in "" starship troopers . "" 
matt dillon flexes his sleepy-voiced sex appeal , and pulls off personality changes with chameleonic precision . 
neve campbell , lovely as ever except when sporting a blond wig , gives suzie a vengeful vulnerability that makes her the most interesting member of the conspiring trio . 
re-edited and toned down a bit , the dynamics between these three actors could have carried the film to greater lengths . 
but what we're given works well enough . 
 "" wild things "" is highly entertaining and , indeed , very wild . 
"
"1","the happy bastard's 30-second review 
big daddy 
happy gilmore as a father ? 
of course ! 
that's the latest scenario presented by adam sandler in the new movie big daddy , a movie that's passable but isn't really considered some of sandler's best work . 
he doesn't actually play happy gilmore in the movie , but a variation of him . 
he's sonny coufax , a man who's living off a settlement he got for a cab running over his foot and his one-day-a-week gig as a tollbooth man ( tollbooth willie ? ) . 
his girlfriend ( kristy swanson ) is fed up with his lifestyle and demands a change before she leaves him . 
enter a 5-year old kid , who's mysteriously dropped at his doorstep and intended for his preppy roommate ( jon stewart ) , who's off in china on a business trip . 
from there , coufax basically acts as the kid's father , teaching him different things like peeing on the side of a building and tripping up skateboarders with sticks . 
he even manages to use the kid in a sort of con game to get the attention of a beautiful law office worker ( joey lauren adams ) , but , somehow , he also garners the attention of social services , who aren't particularly pleased with coufax's actions , as he pretends to be his roommate to keep the kid . 
the reason i say it's not really sandler's best work is because it gets really sappy towards the end of a movie , showing some odd feelings that somehow didn't really belong in a sandler vehicle . 
i mean , it fits the movie's tone and everything , and sandler handles it well , but it's just oddly placed , that's all . 
fortunately , it doesn't destroy the goofy glee path it's been following and it still makes you feel good . 
sandler does a good job here , as he does in most of his movies . 
rob schneider , however , is irritating as his friend , an immigrant delivery boy who can't read . 
stewart , in his minor time on screen , is great , and adams remains a joy to watch . 
look for steve buscemi as well as a homeless bum . 
he's a hoot . 
directed by dennis dugan ( director of happy gilmore ) , the movie remains a good couple of hours to pass the time with . 
again , there are faults , but , hey , everyone needs to get emotional sometimes . 
"
"1"," "" six days , seven nights "" is a summer movie that gets the summer movie experience deliciously right , a commendable achievement considering the season thus far has been littered with some pretty uneven fare . 
here's a genuinely fun fluff piece that knows it's fluff , recognizes it's fluff and is admittedly proud to be fluff . 
of course , the casting of harrison ford in the broadly comedic lead role plays a sizeable part in the movie's success ; ford is such a concentrated dramatic actor that it's easy to forget what a funny guy he can be . 
as his female counterpart , anne heche also deserves a big pat on the back for her sweet , goofily charismatic performance . 
the age difference ( ford's 56 , heche's 29 ) matters not -- these two click in a charged way that's hard to come by . 
the story is a no-brainer -- ford stars as gruff but loveable island aviator quinn harris , while heche is career-minded but loveable new york magazine editor robin monroe . 
robin , on a tropical vacation with fianc ? frank ( david schwimmer ) , gets assigned to supervise an emergency photo shoot in nearby tahiti , so she reluctantly hires quinn to fly her there . 
the plane crashes during a terrible storm , and they immediately find themselves stuck in a deserted paradise with few ideas on getting back to civilization . 
a series of unpleasant , often hilarious catastrophes leaves little choice but for both members of this unlikely odd couple to fall for each other . 
meanwhile , back at the resort , frank is tempted himself by quinn's shapely female tagalong ( jacqueline obradors ) . 
that subplot obviously exists to get us rooting for the quinn-robin pairing , and while it makes for a few good laughs early on , it eventually becomes a contrived distraction from the far more engrossing misadventures of quinn and robin . 
and since the film spends most of its time with the castaways , this flaw is only a minor inconvenience . 
director ivan reitman keeps the pace brisk . 
at a slim 101 minutes , "" six days , seven nights "" never wears out its welcome , where a lesser film could have felt like it was as long as its title . 
michael browning's clever screenplay allows for plenty of notable one-liners ( my favorite , taken in context , is "" you mean _arrrgh_ pirates ? "" ) , and though it essentially boils down to one mishap after another , they're all quite engaging . 
even the movie's more "" serious "" moments are played with a wink . 
heche has been under undeserved fire over whether or not her private life with ellen degeneres would affect the "" believability "" of "" six days , seven nights "" ' heterosexual pairing . 
 ( so she's a lesbian . 
so what . 
deal with it . ) 
of course it doesn't , and here , her naysayers are proved wrong in a big way . 
in fact , her chemistry with ford is what really makes the film click ; these opposites attract with the utmost , endearing electricity . 
at one point , when the two are discussing the likelihood of romantic interest , heche asks ford how old he is . 
after several wrong guesses ( "" forty-five ? 
_fifty_ ? "" ) , he whispers his age to her . 
 "" you still look good , "" heche stammers . 
 "" i still _am_ good , "" ford replies . 
she's good too , and together , they make "" six days , seven nights "" one memorable ride . 
"
"1","the release of dolores claiborne into wide release this weekend adds another entry into the long list of film adaptations of stephen king's work . 
this slow-moving character study provides some outstanding acting performances by the principals , but suffers from a tepid conclusion , inconsistent direction , and may not have wide commercial appeal . 
when the maid , dolores claiborne , is found brandishing a rolling pin standing over the bloody and dead body of her employer , it seems like an open-and-shut murder case . 
upon hearing of the death via a mysterious fax , dolores' estranged and bitter daughter , esquire magazine writer selena st . george , returns from new york back to her tiny island village childhood home . 
as the two clash horns , the story behind the mysterious death of dolores' abusive husband two decades ago , ruled an accident despite the protests of detective john mackey , is revealed . 
did dolores kill her husband ? 
and did she kill her employer ? 
dolores claiborne is certainly more of a character study than a suspense thriller . 
consequently , it is fortunate that their cast includes some of hollywood's finest character actors , such as bates , leigh and strathairn . 
kathy bates plays the film's title character , and gives a sensational lead performance . 
dolores claiborne is essentially a showcase for the talent of bates , as her character has a huge amount of screen time . 
she dominates the screen , producing a character that is compelling and arresting , as we watch the character go through two decades of history via flashbacks . 
kathy bates' performance is award-calibre stuff . 
the rest of the cast is also very good . 
jennifer jason leigh plays the perpetually sour , bitter helena st . george well , and christopher plummer seems to be enjoying himself as dolores' ever-present nemesis , the determined detective john mackey . 
david strathairn is particularly interesting and suitably smarmy and despicable as dolores' husband , joe st . george . 
judy parfitt is fine as dolores' tyrannic socialite employer , vera donovan--it would have been interesting to see , say , meg foster in this role . 
child actor ellen muth is also worth noting as the young selena during the flashback sequences ; she is very impressive . 
the direction of dolores claiborne by taylor hackford wildly varies throughout the film , ranging from some parts which are quite clever in their own right , to parts which are embarrassingly hokey . 
the segues between flashbacks and the present are very hit-and-miss in terms of effectiveness . 
the pacing of the film tends to be numbingly slow , which tends to undermine any suspense which might be built up . 
however , the cinematography by gabriel beristain is wonderful--i particularly like the chilling ice-blue hue permeating the present-day scenes , contrasting well with the many nova scotia ocean shots--and danny elfman provides a surprisingly understated score for the film . 
it would seem that the commercial potential of dolores claiborne is limited . 
none of the performers in the film could be classified as a big draw , and its pacing may be a turn-off to those expecting a gripping suspense film filled with twists and turns and car crashes and axe-wielding psychopaths . 
although being essentially the only film in its genre in release now , it may also be hurt by the negative perception of king works , even with the recent critical success of the shawshank redemption and the stand . 
dolores claiborne suffers from a very unsatisfying conclusion , and moves very slowly . 
however , the performances are uniformly excellent , particularly kathy bates , and the film has its moments . 
on my four-star scale , i give dolores claiborne three stars . 
"
"1","seen september 13 , 1998 at 4 p . m at rotterdam square mall cinema 6 , theater #2 , with chris wessell for free using my sony/loews critic's pass . 
[theater rating : * * 1/2 : good seats , average sound , picture unstable] 
 "" rounders "" is exactly the kind of movie parents don't want their kids to see . 
it's not that it's a drunken orgy of sex and violence , but because it's a film that flat-out says you can make a career out of gambling . 
and to take make things "" worse "" it proves this through its original , fascinating story . 
there have been countless crime films both past and present that evoke the "" noir "" mood , that is , the dark , shady atmosphere where the vices of the world become more fascinating on screen than they would in real life . 
this film starts off in the tradiational noir style , introducing us to the underworld of modern gambling where the stakes are high and so is the price for losing . 
matt damon stars as mike mcdermott , a 20-something law student in present-day new york city who tells us how the game of poker is really played . 
damon narrates throughout the film , but the entire opening scene is voiced-over so perfectly to completely and totally define the setting . 
mike's about to go up against teddy kgb ( malkovich ) , a russian gangster who looks like a serial killer . 
but then again , he practically is one and the film does everything to convey that sense - the look in his eyes , his slow movements , his intricate mannerisms - all combined with the classic noir cinematography of isolated brightness within the darkness of the underworld ( literally ) . 
damon in the flesh might seem a little out of place with his expensive clothes and perfectly-groomed features , but his narration is what brings it all together . 
he never sounds like he's reading from a script , nor that he's trying to embellish anything , it just comes natural to him . 
the screenwriters use the right words and phrases to describe the mood , from the smell of the air , to the logic involved in reading the other guys' faces and cards , and all without sounding remotely trite . 
immediately we get the sense that poker isn't for gamblers , but for near- geniuses with nerves of steel . 
the game is a quiet war , with strategies just as complex and the same sense of honor among the soldiers . 
the gangsters mike plays against are the same ones that might kill someone for scratching their car , but when it comes to the game of poker , all respect is due to the winner because he is truly the better man . 
the film does an excellent job in establishing its atmosphere during the first act . 
it concentrates so much in this aspect that the background and the progression of the story stumble a bit . 
we learn only a little about mike , both past and present . 
presently we know he has a girlfriend named jo ( gretchen mol ) who he constantly argues with over his gambling . 
they go through a few break-up/make-up cycles until mike's childhood pal and fellow rounder "" worm "" ( norton ) is released from prison . 
it's not at all surprising worm owes thousand of dollars to the mob , but what is surprising is how the film is able to take such a predictable element and execute it the way it does . 
technically , the plot isn't unlike many children's sitcoms in which the "" good "" kid's "" bad "" friend gets the good kid in trouble and yet the good kid remains friends with the bad kid . 
what this film does is use a different medium to tell that story . 
mike and worm have been in over their heads their entire lives , but both share a passion for out-thinking the other player who is trying to do the same to them . 
where as worm prefers to go the sleazy route of cheating ( hence his jail time ) , mike always takes the cards he's dealt and works with them . 
sometimes they pay off ( i . e . 
his ability to pay his way through law school on his gambling money ) , but other times they don't ( i . e . 
the fact he takes himself out of the game and works a steady job after dropping $30 , 000 on a single hand ) . 
once things start happening the film is able to expand and develop its plot into an intricate web of detail and mood . 
mike and worm bob and weave through all kinds of games at all kinds of places , from socialites' mansions , to taking the tourists at atlantic city , to outwitting the gangsters that control it all . 
everything they come into contact with is a big poker game in that everything's a battle against the cards destiny deals . 
one scene demonstrates this perfectly in which mike is told by a judge ( martin landou , in a perfectly cast and performed role ) that destiny is everything and yet nothing at the same time . 
matt's good at gambling but he's also got potential to be a great lawyer . 
he could go professional as either , but with one he could lose everything or win big , but with the other there's stability but not much risk involved . 
can someone who's gambled his entire life really cash in his chips and leave ? 
if the film had been just a subtle lesson in poker-playing , then the ending is our test . 
everything is told from mike's perspective , but we're finally able to recognize some things on our own . 
this makes the final , against-all- odds showdown seem like just that . 
it works just like the game it revolves around - showing us some of the cards , but still evokes the element of the unknown , and the consequences thereof . 
what separates "" rounders "" from most other films about games is the fact the challenge and the skills are more important than winning in the end . 
"
"1","there was a lot riding on this movie . 
everyone even moderately interested in the "" scream "" series was dying to know how it would end . 
what would be the "" final act "" ? 
this is the end of an era for them , a movie which has kept them up nights searching for clues on the internet , talking and tossing around rumors with their equally enthused buddies , and , for kids under 17 , those elaborate plots consisting of buying a ticket to one movie and hopping into "" scream "" while narrowly escaping those menacing ushers who are only a year or two older than themselves . 
no need to worry ; "" scream 3 "" is endlessly inventive and entertaining , a fine epilogue to the series that made kevin williamson a household name , reinvented the horror genre , and continued in the self-referential , post-modern tradition of quentin and co . 
so , how does the story go ? 
as opposed to what some fanatical internet sites would have you believe , sidney prescott ( neve campbell ) , now all-grown-up and constantly dealing with her pass in the constantly tormented sector of her psyche , is not living in hollywood fulfilling her dream to become an actress , but rather in upstate california , living , understandably , alone in the confines of fences and vast security systems . 
she works at home as a crisis center affiliate over the phone . 
but that ? ? ? s not where the movie starts off . 
instead , in a tactic that reminded me of the somewhat similar , and conceptually horrifying , sequence in "" eye for an eye "" ( 1995 ) , cotton weary ( liev schreiber ) , now a big star , drives home to his girlfriend in traffic when the killer calls , demands the location of sidney ? ? ? s home , and , when he doesn ? ? ? t get it , threatens the life of cotton ? ? ? s girlfriend christine , and cotton can ? ? ? t do anything to stop him . 
the rest of the sequence is particularly clever , setting up a constant throughout the picture : the killer has a high-tech electronic voice-changer that tops that of the first two . 
not only does he sound unmistakably like talented voice-over artist roger jackson ( ha , ha ) , he can now easily duplicate the voices of the lead characters , including sidney , and the returned gale weathers ( courtney cox arquette ) and dewey riley ( david arquette ) . 
at the same time , stab 3 , the third film-within-a-film based around the characters and events of woodsboro and windsor college , has taken a less authentic approach this time around in return to woodsboro ; whereas the account of the first two films was true , the franchise within "" scream "" has now become totally fictional . 
nevertheless , we learn , cotton made an appearance in the movie which is now in production , as himself to be killed off in the first scene . 
so , it seems that the real killer is offing our heroes in the order in which they bite it in the movie ? ? 'either the actor portraying them , or the real thing . 
sometimes both . 
clever , indeed . 
but , who goes next ? 
no one knows . 
three different scripts were penned , we ? ? ? re told , to keep the true finale off the internet ( a nod to the "" scream "" 2 fiasco a few years back ) and no one knows for sure which one the killer read . 
still , all the while sidney stays concealed in her home , only visiting dad for the first half-hour of the film , while also having horrifying visions of her mother , which takes us back a bit to sidney ? ? ? s fear of becoming what her mother was ? ? 'or , at least , what her mother was secretly . 
when sidney finally ventures out to hollywood as the murders become more prevalent , she ? ? ? s chased onto the set of stab 3 , wandering through "" woodsboro , "" written and directed as an odd , surreal , nightmare indeed , this is one of "" scream 3 "" ? ? ? s finest moments . 
okay , over the years , i ? ? ? ll admit that i ? ? ? ve become quite the "" scream "" fan . 
no , i don ? ? ? t have the ghostface costume or the director ? ? ? s cut laserdisc , but i often find myself compelled to pop in the dvd of either member of the preceding duo , and can get quite caught up in the dramatic element of these films ( yes , i said "" dramatic element "" ) , sometimes debating with family and friends the possibilities and endless theories that have become quintessentially affiliated with "" scream "" . 
throughout the film , though , i noticed a much more subtle approach than the other two films . 
granted that there ? ? ? s stabbin-a-plenty going on throughout , but there ? ? ? s considerably less blood , less gore . 
honestly , i like this approach . 
it ? ? ? s more classical , more rebellious , constantly demonstrating the capable direction of wes craven . 
he knows when to hold back and at the same time makes the movie ooze with energy , illustrating the delicate poise flowing from his years of experience . 
some critics have noted that "" scream 3 "" seems to take itself more seriously this time ; maybe so , or maybe screenwriter ehren kruger ( arlington road ) , who took over after williamson had scheduling conflicts , saw an opportunity for true irony ? ? 'maybe even a little bit of satire ? ? 'if the film worked in a few more clich ? ? s . 
what puts a damper on this otherwise exceptional and creative film , i ? ? ? m afraid , is the ending , or , rather , the identity of the killer . 
it does the job , i guess , accomplishes what it should , bringing the three films full circle , but upon my first viewing it seemed rather dissatisfying because it appears a little too contrived , too arbitrary ; after a second viewing , which i endeavored upon due to this recurring disapprobation , the killer ? ? ? s identity still seems a little too random , but his motivation came across more sound this time around , and the eventual conclusion was ultimately more satisfying . 
all in all , "" scream 3 "" does not fall victim to the most lamented principle of a trilogy : it is not the worst of the films . 
as a trilogy , "" scream "" was a lot of fun ; refreshing , humorous , offbeat . 
almost sad to see it go . 
but then , it does seem best to quit while you ? ? ? re ahead , and "" scream 3 "" does a fine job of providing closure to its characters . 
for now , "" scream "" holds the title as the finest series of horror films to be committed to celluloid . 
not too shabby . 
"
"1","ingredients : pouring rain , small flooded town , damn about to burst , bad guys going after millions of dollars 
synopsis : at one point in the story townsperson karen asks hero tom what happened to her church . 
he replies something like : "" the church is flooded but at least the floodwaters put out the big fire . 
well , the fire wasn't that bad , since , while the church was burning , looters apparently thought it was safe enough to break through all the priceless stained glass windows . "" 
in hard rain a small town is nearly deserted due to flooding . 
everyone has had to evacuate because it's raining , and now floodwaters are rising so high that buildings are being submerged and the nearby dam is about to break . 
enter a working class smart-alecky new armored car driver named tom ( christian slater ) . 
suddenly his security truck carrying over three million dollars gets stuck on the flooded street and is waylaid by armed looters . 
tom has no choice but to grab the bag full of money , hide it , and swim for his life . 
this makes for an action movie full of jet skis , speedboat chases , and gun battles , as tom tries to evade and outsmart corrupt cops and armed looters until the national guard can answer his distress call . 
he is befriended and aided by a spunky churchgoing young woman from town named karen ( minnie driver ) . 
but unknown to tom and karen , the national guard never heard tom's initial distress call . 
will tom and karen survive the natural and manmade disasters ? 
opinion : don't expect thought-provoking issues or dramatics . 
there's not much more to this movie than hiding , running , swimming , shooting , and saving handcuffed heroes from drowning , but that's what makes it escapist and fun . 
relax , take your shoes off , and break out the popcorn . 
"
"1","although many people have compared this new gangster comedy to the hit hbo drama 'the sopranos , ' analyze this is witty and entertaining enough to be a good movie in it's own right . 
billy crystal plays wiseguy shrink ben sobol , who new 'patient' happens to be gangster boss paul vitti ( de niro . ) 
ben wants nothing to do with vitti , as he's about to get married to laura macnamara ( kudrow ) and having a gangster as a patient wouldn't really help . 
but ben is soon drawn into vitti worlds , and reluctantly helps vitti to sort his life out . 
all done in a comic fashion , of course . 
although never brilliant , analyze this is also never rubbish , which makes for a fun ride . 
billy crystal , who hasn't had a good role since city slickers way back in the early '90's , is given a role that lets him fully exploit his wiseguy act . 
he's pretty funny while he does it , and although his character is a little close to his character in city slickers , he's pretty funny . 
robert de niro is hilarious as vitti , playing it dead straight but coming off as really funny . 
he's a serious gangster unaware that he is a comic gold mine . 
lisa kudrow , barely seen as crystals' estranged wife to be , basically reprises her phoebe role from t . v series friends , which is getting rather tiresome , and doesn't come off well on the screen . 
the supporting cast is apparently made up of the entire cast of casino and goodfellas , and are all funny caricatures , especially vitti's bodyguard jelly ( joe viterelli . ) 
the film genuinely plays like a proper gangster movie , but with laughs instead of hard ass talking . 
it sometimes gets a little bloody for a light hearted film , but it strangely fits in . 
spoofs are made of famous gangster movies , including a nice parody of the godfather . 
the italian tunes playing throughout the soundtrack contribute to the fun . 
there's also some odd plot points : fbi guys appear and suddenly disappear for no apparent reason . 
it is true that analyze this has had a somewhat chequered production history , and perhaps the plot points were expanded in a earlier version of the script . 
unfortunately , this is hollywood , so we will never know . 
harold ramis , best known as egon from ghostbusters , has a deft touch with directing comedy , as shown in the immortal groundhog day , and the less immortal caddyshack . 
all the comic potential in a scene is dug out and presented to the audience . 
the script , written by ramis along with peter tolan and ken lonergan , starts off funny , remains funny for the most of the film , but sadly peters out somewhat during the last twenty minutes where it wrongly enters more serious territory . 
the film is short , however , and just before audience interest is waning the film suddenly goes into a rather rushed and unsatisfying ending and the credits roll . 
analyze this is a good comedy , and is certainly worth watching . 
robert de niro sobbing is reason enough to watch it , even though it does seem forced , or like a parody ( although i think this was intentional . ) 
crystal is his most likeable in years , kudrow is given as little screen time as possible , which is a good thing , and de niro is just awesome . 
it's no goodfellas , and it probably won't be remembered as much as groundhog day , but analyze this is a well done comedy that won't leave you feel cheated . 
"
"1"," "" being john malkovich "" is the type of film we need to see more . 
today's films are either blockbusters that entertain us with tiresome formulas , or those that have similar themes . 
malkovich falls under none of these categories , and it's quite refreshing to see that occur . 
this strangely provoking story , is actually somewhat understandable . 
john cusack plays a puppeteer trying to make it to the big time . 
his wife ( cameron diaz ) supports the both of them by working at a petstore , which explains the obscure pets they keep in their apartment . 
when cusack finally realizes he needs to get a job , he finds an ad for a filing clerk . 
when he reaches the building , he arrives at a 7 1/2 floor . 
it's there that he discovers a secret portal that leads to being john malkovich for 15 minutes at a time . 
meanwhile , cusack meets a business partner ( catherine keener ) , in which he falls madly in love with her . 
the only problem is , she has no interest in him what so ever . 
the whole portal thing , isn't just a toy , in fact , it becomes cusack's dream . 
being inside malkovich's mind , gave him the opportunity to basically control mlakovich , like a puppet , and to fulfill his fantasies . 
i don't want to give away too much , but cusack becomes too attached with his discovery . 
in my opinion , this idea is absolutely brilliant . 
it's really quite scary to think that someone could become you , control you , be you . 
it makes you wonder why we act like we do , and why sometimes we blurt out things or act out something out of the blue . 
even if the script is super sharp , i can't help but find the ending displeasing . 
it could have lead up to something more , or at least an amusing conclusion . 
it tried to explain a mythology about the portals , that made it seem rushed . 
other than that , i had a very enjoyable time . 
the acting was quite delightful as well . 
john cusack has finally been given a chance to prove his ability , and he does it well . 
he's by far the most underrated actor due to a lack of popularity , but i'm hoping that will change . 
cameron diaz was her usual charming self , although i felt that part was wrong for her , but she pulled it off . 
john malkovich himself continues to creep out people with his eerie facial expressions and tone of voice . 
who else's mind would be better to explore ? 
the director , spike jonze , who appeared in last month's three kings really catches my attention with this project . 
i knew he was bizzare , but not to this extreme . 
he too is likely too receive media attention . 
 "" being john malkovich "" isn't an excellent film , but it is definitly entertaining and will eaisly become a cult favorite . 
what's even better is the film's puzzling message . . . am 
i nick lyons ? 
"
"1","as feel-good formulaic as it may be in its own way , shall we dance ? 
also demonstrates a kind of charming restraint you don't often find in american films . 
this japanese import tells the story of a middle-aged accountant named sugiyama ( koji yakusho ) whose mundane life is shaken up one night when he spots beautiful mai kishikawa ( tamiyo kusakari ) in the window of a dance school . 
intrigued by her melancholy demeanor ( and slightly infatuated with her ) , sugiyama signs up for weekly classes at the school -- and , much to his amazement , ends up as attracted to dancing itself as to his young sensei . 
meanwhile , sugiyama's wife ( hideko hara ) becomes suspicious of his late wednesday nights , and sets a private detective on her husband's trail . 
in a hollywood film , you can bet that sub-plot would be turned into a stream of slapstick comedy and crazy misunderstandings . 
in shall we dance ? , writer/director masayuki suo dispenses with it in a matter of minutes , using it to set up later character interactions rather than letting it overwhelm the story with pratfalls . 
neither does he make the climactic moment of victory a competition between the hero and some mean-spirited token rival . 
suo gives his comedy the graceful movements of his subject matter , allowing the humor to flow from the characters rather than forcing it upon them . 
an opening prologue in shall we dance ? 
goes to some effort to place the film in a sociological perspective , explaining how contrary ballroom dancing is to the japanese sense of propriety . 
it's a forced message in a story which doesn't need such a culture-specific angle . 
the dance school in shall we dance ? 
plays the role of a singles' mixer , with everyone vaguely embarrassed to be there yet taking the opportunity to try on new personalities . 
most amusing among these new personalities is the one adopted by sugiyama's co-worker mr . aoki ( naoto takenaka ) , a balding systems analyst who becomes a fiery latin lover when he dons a frizzy wig and begins to rumba . 
sugiyama's awakening is less overt , but koji yakusho does a wonderful job showing a transformation of small steps . 
it's a delicate performance with a huge heart . 
shall we dance ? 
is a fairly lightweight experience , which makes its final half hour rather a long sit . 
suo crams a lot of exposition into very little time , including an unnecessarily detailed back-story for mai , resulting in a sluggish march towards the resolution . 
it is here that shall we dance ? 
feels most hollywood-conventional , attempting to blind-side the audience with a truckload of emotional catharsis . 
suo might have been better advised to conclude with the small gem of a scene in which sugiyama and his wife take their first tentative dance steps together . 
that's the real joy of dance shall we dance ? 
conveys : its ability to create an intoxicating mood of romance which can soften the stiffest shirt . 
"
"1"," "" the tailor of panama "" is a different kind of spy movie . 
despite the presence of pierce brosnan , there is nary a hint of james bond flash here . 
instead of big action scenes , leering super villains and empty-headed femme fatales , we get interesting characters and an intriguing situation . 
based on the novel by john le carr ? , who also co-wrote the screenplay , the film offers viewers something rarely seen in theaters this time of year : a solid , well-told story . 
brosnan plays andy osnard , a british operative walking on thin ice . 
his british superiors ship him off to panama , making sure he understands that he had better not screw up the placement . 
osnard arrives in the tropics virtually oozing contempt for his new co-workers and his new home base . 
when shown the bridge of the americas by a person marveling over the fact that , since the creation of the panama canal , the structure is the sole connection between north and south america , he barely keeps from yawning . 
brosnan clearly relishes the chance to be the antithesis of 007 , investing the suave spy with a distinct reptilian quality coupled with an air of indifference that irks his fellows to no end . 
searching for a way to get information on the government , osnard sets his sights on harry pendel ( geoffrey rush ) , an unctuous tailor serving the panamanian elite . 
harry claims to be a transplant from britain's renowned saville row , but osnard knows his secret : the tailor is an ex-con who served five years in prison after torching his uncle's shop in an insurance scam . 
he also knows that harry is up to his ears in debt , having spent a fortune on an unsuccessful farm . 
osnard offers harry a way out . 
he will pay for information harry has gathered from his upscale clientele . 
eager to comply , harry offers what he knows , then starts concocting tidbits to keep the money flowing . 
before long , he is forced to spy on his loving wife , louisa ( jamie lee curtis ) , an aide to the canal director . 
harry's little lies build , eventually taking on a life of their own . 
osnard turns in reports about the "" silent opposition , "" a group threatening to upset the balance of control over the canal . 
the bogus revelation proves explosive , leading to meetings in washington d . c . over how to best protect the vital waterway . 
meanwhile , osnard wallows in his newfound status , enjoying the best the city has to offer and wooing an attractive co-worker . 
and harry grows ever more fretful , fearing the consequences if his clients , not to mention his wife , learn about his lies . 
geoffrey rush is wonderful as harry , fawning over his customers by day and savoring his rich family life in the evenings , all while playing secret agent in the off hours with his new benefactor . 
rush makes harry a credible figure , presenting the various levels of the character so effectively that he remains sympathetic despite his duplicity . 
after gaining fame playing larger than life characters , rush flips everything around for this role , using his energy to depict the quiet desperation of a man slowly realizing that the solution to his troubles may be worse than the original problems . 
although she gets far too little screen time , jamie lee curtis imbues louisa with a depth greater than the screenplay provides her . 
of the central characters , she is the only one that exhibits maturity and genuine self-confidence . 
curtis is one of my favorite female actors ; whiplash smart , sultry and charismatic , she deserves more than supporting roles . 
speaking of supporting characters , there are some great ones here . 
harold pinter is amusing as harry's uncle benny , who pops up throughout the story in a number of creative ways . 
also shoring up the proceedings is jon polito as a corrupt banker and dylan baker , who is a riot as a united states general straight out of the dr . strangelove school of armed patriotism . 
but the most important secondary performers are leonor varela and brendan gleeson , both outstanding as two wounded activists . 
their presence adds weight to the story , reminding us that beyond the charades of the leading men , there are real people that have suffered greatly over the politics connected to the canal . 
director john boorman adds additional verisimilitude by shooting the film on location . 
instead of using panama city merely as a colorful backdrop , he adroitly weaves in footage of all aspects of life there . 
the metropolis , described by one character as "" casablanca without heroes "" pulsates with life , underling the folly of the two foreigners playing dangerous games that could have a disastrous impact on a great many people . 
 "" the tailor of panama "" succeeds because the principals behind it were bright enough to make it more than a simple entertainment . 
"
"1","perhaps it's time for me to say a little about my reading habits . 
i really do like to read , and i've enjoyed many books in my lifetime . 
my problem is that i'm a slow reader , and not very dedicated -- i'll enjoy portions of a book and then set it down for months at a time ( it's taken me the last six weeks to get through the first one hundred pages of anna karenina , even though i'm loving the book ) . 
in addition to this , i typically don't read anything created after the 19th century . 
the only reason i bother with this bit of information is because i feel bad admitting , time after time , that i haven't read any of the books on which these films are based ( the only exception , i believe , is great expectations ) . 
however , i don't think it should be necessary to read the book beforehand in order to judge the quality of the film . 
needless to say , i haven't read the elmore leonard novel out of sight , on which steven soderbergh's new film is based . 
i can't say how faithful of an adaptation it is , or if it lives up to leonard's vision . 
i can say that it's a terrific film , with sharp acting , great dialogue , and pumping full of energy and style injected by soderbergh . 
it's certainly a nice distraction from 1998's lineup of brainless blockbusters , all hopelessly wishing that size mattered . 
out of sight proves that it doesn't . 
i had originally written george clooney off as a one-note actor , incapable of depth but occasionally showing a little flair . 
after seeing his latest performance in this film , i've changed my mind -- this guy can act , but he also has that forceful presence that most certainly will make him one of those $20 million superstars . 
here , he plays jack foley , a middle aged guy who robs banks for a living . 
he does it because it's fun , i think , but the film opens with him getting caught because his car won't start . 
he goes to jail -- which is interesting -- only to break out five cinematic minutes later with the help of his friend , buddy ( ving rhames ) . 
we're then introduced to karen sisco ( jennifer lopez ) , a u . s . marshall who , conveniently , is waiting with a shotgun as jack escapes . 
fortunately , they take her hostage , and she and jack spend some quality time in the trunk together as buddy drives them to safety . 
the central conflict arises when both jack and karen become obsessed with one another , though their respective jobs make them superficially incompatible . 
we soon learn that the film is not told in sequence ( and , since this is a gritty crime comedy , flashbacks of pulp fiction should arise ) . 
at first , i kind of felt that it was a gimmick , but i guess it was a gimmick in pulp fiction , too . 
it's a fun gimmick , though , and soderbergh treats the material with enough humor that everything comes off naturally . 
i've only seen a few of soderbergh's films ( i was impressed both with kafka and sex , lies , and videotape ) , but i think he's excellent at what he does . 
he's an artist without making it obvious , and without being pretentious , which is always admirable . 
he uses tricks , yes ( lots of freeze-frame stuff here ) , but it all adds to the smooth and quirky currents in the film . 
as i said , clooney is terrific , and he's matched by lopez . 
lopez is , of course , beautiful , but she can act , too . 
i can sense that she's honing in on her skills , for she comes off more natural here than she has in any of her previous ventures ( not that stone gave her much help in the loathsome u-turn ) . 
the two actors have arresting chemistry with one another -- the best scene in the film , by far , is the seduction scene . 
the brilliance of this scene is also due , in part , to soderbergh , for he cuts back and forth from their quiet discussion in a bar to the physical act which takes place a few minutes later . 
the scene is a series of soft nuances and glances , layered upon light dialogue , and the result is one of the better love scenes in recent cinema -- meaningful and engrossing . 
the supporting cast is strong , led by the always-reliable ving rhames . 
dennis farina , who plays karen's father , is good , as is don cheadle as the profoundly stupid villain . 
steve zahn , who plays jack's nearly-brain dead accomplice glenn , steals all of his scenes ( and that's in a film where every scene is already at a high level ) . 
all of the actors are helped by the dialogue and the intelligently-constructed script by scott frank . 
out of sight is certainly a light film , although there are a few heavy moments that will linger in the memory . 
overall , i can recommend it simply as great entertainment . 
not every film has to change your life , and it's nice to see a movie that uses the art to tell a great story and simply to entertain its viewers . 
as for the book , this film is good enough to make me believe that there might be something in the text worth looking at . 
"
"1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
among my fanatical ticker tape-worshipping friends , there's one who happens to share the same philosophy espoused by the central character in darren aronofsky's darkly original pi : the entire stock market can be reduced to nothing but a series of patterns which , through analysis , will produce information to accurately forecast future behaviour . 
 ( an example of the mentality involved : if the stock price goes up like this , and then down like that , and then sharply up this way , it then will go * this * way . ) 
while i freely admit that i know less than nothing about the market ( knowledge check : prices up -- good ; prices down -- bad ; most of the time , at least ) and hence really couldn't comment with any authority , it's always nonetheless struck me as an incredibly naive oversimplification of an astonishingly complex system ( and besides , if it were that simple , no doubt somebody would've already figured it all out ) . 
the difference in this case is that while my colleague ( an otherwise assuredly realistic individual ) truly believes in this in and of itself as a valid forecaster , pi uses this ideology as a device with which to investigate its character's psychosis . 
it's also vastly more convincing with its argument . 
 "" mathematics is the language of the universe , "" insists genius protagonist maximillian cohen ( sean gullette ) in a cool , mantra-like voice-over which repeats throughout the picture . 
since nature can be expressed in numbers , and there are patterns everywhere in nature , he reasons with eminent logic that finding the patterns will allow him to predict anything -- the ups and downs of the stock market , how many games the yankees will win this year , the flavour of jam i'm going to put on my toast tomorrow morning . 
obsessed with finding the proverbial key to the universe , max lives in paranoid , self-imposed solitude in a seedy nyc chinatown apartment , single-mindedly toiling away with his monstrous homemade computer system . 
sullenly withdrawn and plauged by debilitating migraines , the elusive pursuit of a mysterious 216-digit number his machine spits out one day is driving him into madness . 
the story , then , is basically an eccentricity , but it's a clever , astute eccentricity , perceptively zeroing in on the modern mistrust of mathematical reductionism ; in an age where a dominant societal phobia is one's individualism being replaced by a series of numeric identifiers , max's all-consuming penchent for numbers at once creates a lingering , unsettling mood . 
it helps matters that he's not a particularly likable protagonist . 
all attempts of friendliness from neighbours are curtly rebuffed by max , a spindly , neurotic-looking individual who hasn't the time to indulge in pleasantries . 
for a film which puts its lead character front and center ( mr . gullette appears in virtually every scene ) , pi takes a refreshing and effective approach in avoiding conventional aesthetics ; because of our ambivalence with max , we're not so much avidly rooting for him to triumph with a moment of epiphany as we're following him through this plot with a sense of mixed dread and morbid fascination -- it's more disturbing journey than quest . 
still , we do care about max's fate . 
teetering on the edge of dementia , he winds up being pursued by two different groups which want to pick his brain , both fronted by deliciously perky , resolutely cheerful representatives with inevitably duplictious intentions . 
as we know , in films where paranoia is a dominant element ( see the truman show's laura linney character ) , or for that matter , in real life , it's always the ones who never stop smiling at you and are overly friendly that are the ones of which to be wary . 
pi , a film that addresses patterns , itself intentionally adheres to an identifiable pattern cycle -- headache scene ; important revelation or bit of plot development ; pill-popping montage ; hallucinatory nightmare ( with decidedly cronenberg-esque undertones -- few other directors are as equally adept in bridging unsettling concepts and body-themed horror ) ; nosebleeding reality . 
the repetitiveness , far from being tedious , is effectively maddening ; more than anything , the picture aims to get under our skins and take in events from max's claustrophobic perspective . 
in this regard , it wildly succeeds due to mr . aronofsky's striking direction . 
it's a rarity that a film so completely immerses itself into a protagonist's warped perspective of his surrounding , and high contrast black-and-white cinematography combined with constant usage of extreme close-ups lend a heightened sense of paranoia to the proceedings . 
 ( in some scenes , the stark composition in conjunction with the lumbering approach by mr . gullette make his character curiously resemble a latter-day max schreck , from nosferatu . ) 
using savage , jittery lensing and rapid cuts to create a sense of disorientation , the picture is often dizzying to behold , and max's effective isolationism is emphasized by shots from the so-called snorri cam , which keep him in plain focus while the environment races by in blurred bursts . 
pi's raw , aggressive visuals are reminiscent of david lynch's early work ( in particular , eraserhead ) . 
the film's sinister tone splashes onto the screen immediately with a dazzling opening credit sequence ably backed by a sly electronic score by clint mansell , and gradually increases in intensity . 
still , amidst all its kafkaesque qualities and overall dispassionate mood , pi does occasionally display a sense of humour . 
at one point , marcy dawson ( pamela hart , great fun ) entices max with the offer of an invaluable treasure : a one-of-a-kind . . . 
computer chip . 
 "" isn't it beautiful , "" she coos . 
a showcase for mr . aronofsky's technical virtuosity ( made for $60 000 , it's since gone on to capture acclaim at the 1998 sundance film festival ) , pi is an intriguingly cerebral story which , ironically , is perhaps the most purely visceral film of the year . 
"
"1","upon arriving at the theater during the opening credits , i took my seat and prepared myself for what appeared to be "" hellraiser meets the crow "" . 
but as soon as kiefer sutherland began speaking the narrative monologue , describing "" the strangers "" and their reasons for contacting human beings , i was hooked . 
there was something especially compelling about the nature of his voice . 
i knew from the start that i was going to witness the actions of his character rather than the actor attempting the character . 
sutherland played the role as a true veteran . 
upon the completion of his monologue , the camera arrives on sutherland in such a fashion that you can only wonder how long alex proyas spent on cinematography . 
i would imagine , for a film of this caliber , that maximum hours of work were spent where they were needed the most . 
the film flowed beautifully . 
as i was being taken through the intricate regions of the "" dark city "" , a clever plot began to unravel , to the point where the last time i had seen such clever plot twists were in "" the usual suspects "" . 
not to mention a series of special effects that would make james cameron literally turn green with envy . 
but if you're not exactly the biggest sci-fi fan , caveat emptor . 
get ready for the atmostpheric darkness of "" 12 monkeys "" or "" the crow "" without the boredom or depression . 
the concept of the plot is as mindstretching as "" 12 monkeys "" was , however , so be prepared and be sophisticated . 
and imagine a picture that finally does justice to the comic-book-gone-feature-film fad that hollywood has recently become abusive of . 
dark city simply puts "" spawn "" to shame . 
in fact , during the climax of the film i couldn't help but feel the strong presence of an "" akira "" -esque explosion throughout the general feeling of the movie . 
so my initial predictions were wrong . 
this film is anything but the meloncholy of "" hellraiser "" parts one through five . 
i'm never one to base a film entirly on special effects , so know that when i give dark city 
it's actually because the film contained all of the neccessary ingredients to keep me entertained and awake from storyline to plot twists to camerawork to even ( tsk , tsk ) special effects . 
not since contact have i recieved such deep insight into the way the human mind operates and never this year have i been so blown away . 
the best film i've seen all year , and easily one of the best i've ever seen 
"
"1","kadosh means sacred in hebrew . 
amos gitai's fictional work , after spending most of his career doing documentaries , is a grim story about a failed hasidic marriage , even though the marriage is a loving one . 
the marriage will symbolize the clash of cultures in modern israel between the native israeli's modern viewpoint toward religion and the political savvy hasidic's intolerable one , as both groups are vying for control of the secular government . 
gitai ( devarim/yom yom ) is a labor party leftist , who believes that if the rigid hasidic ever got control of the government , it would sound the death knell of israel . 
the emphasis of the film is on how the ultra-orthodox jews of that sect live by the letter of the torah in everything they do and how they subjugate the women to accept their vision of god's law from only the male's view . 
that if they ever got control of the country , their intolerant attitude would subjugate the country the same way the women are . 
the story takes place in jerusalem's jewish quarters called mea shearim , where we are taken down sinewy back streets with placards pasted on the walls , and into the crowded apartments and prayer rooms where the protagonists live out their idea of the proper jewish life , which is much different than the way most jews live in israel . 
this is a controversial film , in that the women are unhappy and the male attitudes are to such an extreme patriarchal ones , that the film is bound to anger most viewers , no matter their belief . 
it is a slow-moving , meticulous film , that grabs hold of you by the collar and never lets go . 
the force of what is seen , though filmed in an objective manner , never taking a cheap shot at the hasidim , is nevertheless bound to leave questions about the nature of such a practice of strict observance . 
the film is meant to be critical of such a rigid people , as it implies how they kill the spirit of everything they touch and with their extreme phobic attitudes , it makes it impossible for them to unite the country when they can't at present live in harmony with their own people , and it would be even more impossible to imagine them living with their arab neighbors in peace . 
the film opens as meir rises at dawn and goes through his prayer ritual , where every prayer is made to the virtues of god . 
he even thanks god that he didn't make him a woman . 
his wife rivka accepts the fate she was born into and looks at him from the next bed where she sleeps separately according to hasidic custom . 
she looks at him with glistening eyes , not questioning the laws or rebelling against her secondary role and how her religion keeps her from studying the talmud and having all the modern conveniences of life , and from seeing movies and tv . 
meir is a talmudic scholar . 
his father ( abu warda ) is a rabbi at the yeshiva . 
he has been married for ten years and his wife has not been able to give him a child . 
since the hasidim look upon a woman's role in life being only to conceive children , and cook and clean house for the man , while the man's role is to spend his time in prayer , therefore there is an insurmountable problem in this otherwise loving marriage . 
she receives an anonymous letter that states "" a woman without a child is no better than dead . "" 
meir's response , is that it is written like that in the talmud . 
meir's father tells him that the marriage contract must be broken : "" a man who dies without progeny rips a page from the torah . "" 
all the blame is placed on rivka , who is thought of as unpure as the reason for her being barren . 
she will go through countless ritual baths to cleanse herself , as her rigid mother ( koenig ) dunks her in the holy water and says a ritual prayer for the 12 times she is dunked as an homage to the 12 tribes of israel . 
their religion doesn't permit them to be examined extensively by a doctor . 
rivka goes on the sly and finds out that it is her husband who is sterile , but she cannot tell him that because of their religion . 
so when meir's father chooses a younger woman for his son , she is exiled to live alone in a cold apartment in the same jewish quarters . 
rivka's spirited younger sister malka does not want to get married but wants to live a more liberated life . 
she has a long time romantic relationship with a fellow hasidic yaakov . 
but , because of the way they were both raised , she is still a virgin . 
when yaakov joined the israeli army to fight in lebanon , something his sect is not allowed to do , he is thereby banished from the sect even though he is still a believer . 
he now works as a singer in a nightclub . 
malka's mother is worried that her daughter won't get married , so she arranges with the rabbi for her to marry yossef , someone whom she doesn't love . 
yossef is a very stern follower of the order , he is also a political activist who drives around the city in a sound-truck with a bull-horn urging jews to stick together and fight their godless enemies . 
the two sisters are close and languidly discuss their options , with rivka telling her sister to accept the marriage , it will make her happy ; but , while malka is reluctantly forced into accepting it , she has other plans to ruin this bogus marriage . 
the harshest scene in the film is on malka's wedding night . 
yossef prays to god for a child and then robotically gets malka to spread her legs , and without the least bit of affection , only a nervousness shown on his part for the function he supplies , as he goes inside her and rams her hard , thrusting away until the act is completed and then retiring without a word or gesture of love . 
the sisters have choices , like everyone else in life does . 
but the choices are obliterated by one's beliefs , circumstances , and inward nature , and how difficult it is to carry out those choices if it goes completely against the way one is brought up . 
for the sisters , the choices are life or death ones . 
gitai by closing in on the daily rituals , tight living quarters and close-knit community , has shown how difficult these choices are for those who have never seen another world and have been kept in the dark all their life . 
the film ends with the forlorn malka walking atop of jerusalem and looking down upon it as an outsider would , and everything seems strange to her , all the things she once thought of as being set in stone are now harsh memories , as she has made her choice , and the price of that choice is very heavy indeed . 
"
"1","the film "" magnolia "" can be compared to a simple flower as its title and movie poster suggests . 
the dozens of characters introduced and developed are like the petals on the flower . 
they all come from the same stem and as the flower begins to develop they grow farther and farther apart . 
the numerous characters in the film are all closely connected no matter how different they are from one another socially . 
from a humiliated but kind cop to an aging game show host , each one of these characters is suffering the same kind of pain . 
they are each seriously lonely and seek the perfect companion to end this loneliness . 
whether this companion is a distant family member or a spouse , each character begs for one and spends the whole film searching for the perfect one . 
 "" magnolia "" is a clever , well thought out film from prodigy director-writer paul thomas anderson of "" boogie nights "" fame . 
the detailed character analyses and the powerful script make "" magnolia "" memorable . 
however , what really is impressive is that even though there are tons of characters in several unrelated stories , the film is never confusing . 
anderson's control over transitioning from one story to another story is masterful . 
he also knows exactly when to cut to another subplot since not one of "" magnolia's "" scenes drag on too long . 
any three hour film that does not deliver even one uninteresting scene is definitely worth recommending . 
from the fascinating beginning to the risky yet surprisingly satisfying ending the film just doesn't get boring . 
it is obvious that anderson put a lot of time into connecting each subplot . 
this is the ultimate game of six degrees of separation . 
every character is connected to every other character by at the most two degrees . 
for example , cop john c . reilly is connected to game show host phillip baker hall through hall's daughter melora walters who once went on a date with reilly . 
the fact that each character is so different from the others yet so similar shows that there are universal pains that all classes , races , and genders suffer . 
anderson's explanation to prove this point is both accurate and convincing . 
the only mistake anderson made in trying to connect his characters was by making his actors all sing an aimee mann song simultaneously . 
this was foolish not only because it was unbelievable and hilariously erroneous but also because it had a broadway musical feel to it and this movie is about as far apart from your typical broadway musical than you can get . 
the performances in "" magnolia "" are perfection . 
this is a classic example of flawless casting and flawless ensemble acting . 
anderson allows many of hollywood's best supporting actors to blossom at what they do best , character acting . 
all of the main characters in each story are perfect because they are able to reveal more emotions and attitudes in their brief time on the screen then most movie stars can do in a feature length film . 
worth noting is tom cruise , who stepped out of his usual superficial starring role and into a funny but depressing tour de force performance . 
he was probably noticed more than the other actors in the film by award givers because his role here is so much different and impressive than those in the past ( however any actor in this film could be nominated for best supporting actor without any complaints ) the only problem i had with the acting was that a few of the characters felt seriously edited down such as melinda dillon's character as phillip baker hall's wife . 
she seemed to be thrown in towards the end and i felt very little sympathy for her because i had not seen her enough earlier in the film . 
 "" magnolia "" uses several effective metaphors to describe its characters . 
anderson has the talent to make the audience sympathetic towards numerous people in only a few hours . 
to see that anderson is able to perfectly portray this many different types of people shows that he has a keen sense of diversity . 
diversity is what makes a director successful for a long period of time . 
i predict a lot of diversity and success from anderson in the future . 
"
"1","no humans were harmed , tested or tasted in the making of this film . 
all recipes are fictions . 
twentieth century fox does not condone cannibalism . 
a psychological thriller that will scare you to the depth of your soul ! 
director/writer antonia bird shows us that the most terrifying horror is not provided by giant beasts , but instead by monsters lurking in ourselves . . 
 "" . . they were a party of settlers in covered wagon times and they had to resent to cannibalism in order to stay alive . . "" 
this true story , briefly mentioned in "" the shining "" , has no turned into a 143 minutes long motion picture . 
in 1847 , the united states was a land of pioneers , of gold-starved americans making their way west . 
it was a period of manifest destiny , the inevitability of the country extending its boundaries , stretching out its arms and consuming all the land it could . 
capt . john boyd ( guy pearce ) has become both a "" hero "" and a victim during this period of relentless consumption . . . 
in ways he could never have imagined . 
boyd's journey to hell begins when he is awarded for an act of cowardice during a horrific mexican-american war battle earns him banishment to a desolate military outpost , a waystation for western travelers in the barren and icy sierra nevada mountains in california . 
upon his arrival he is greeted by a small , motley group of soldiers , including his commanding officer , hart ( jeffrey jones ) , a previously intelligent and sophisticated man who has lost his aristocratic origin in the heat of battle and has pretty much given up on life ; toffler ( jeremy davies ) , the fort's personal emissary to the lord ; knox ( stephen spinella ) , the veterinarian that plays doctor , who never met a bottle of whiskey he didn't like ; reich ( neal mcdonough ) , the no-nonsense soldier of the group ; and the seriously "" over-medicated "" cleaves ( david arquette ) , a cook whose meals are inspired more by peyote than culinary ambitions . 
into this cold , bleak and bizarre world staggers a stranger , colqhoun ( robert carlyle ) , a half-starved scot who had been traveling with a group of settlers until they became snowbound . 
seeking refuge in a cave , they soon ran out of food - and were forced to consume one another . 
colqhoun barely escaped becoming an hors d'oeuvre himself . 
our heroes then decide to journey through the mountains to find the survivors , and colqhoun tags along to help out . 
soon it becomes clear that colqhoun's tale has ramifications beyond cannibalism and the will to survive . 
it involves an old indian myth called weendigo , which states that a man who eats the flesh of another steals that person's strength , spirit and very essence . 
his hunger becomes an insatiable craving : the more he eats , the more he wants , and the stronger he becomes . 
there can never be enough , and death is the only escape . . 
it's all fairly sickening and you have to have a healthy stomach to see the whole movie through . 
as professionally made as the movie is , you have to wonder who they thought would come piling into the theater to see this . 
teen-age horror fans won't care because none of the soldiers look remotely like neve campell . 
older folks might show up when they hear that the movie is actually a satire about the pioneer spirit , but they'll be disappointed once all the raw meat starts getting waved in their faces . 
but jokes aside , this is a film that is well worth watching . 
it has wonderful and mature characters , that few horror film s can boast of and a strangely effective story that continues to electrify you till the end . 
the two main characters are also the most interesting . 
boyd is a simple , honest man tiered of war , killing and fear . 
his sacred wish is to live a normal , quite life away from gunpowder and blood . 
colqhoun is different . 
he proves that a man , on the brink of death , would do anything to stay alive , including sacrificing his own soul . 
he believes so much in this indian myth that he starts to change physically . 
it is the power of the human mind and conviction that make miracles happen . 
the atmosphere in "" ravenous "" is macabre and bizarre , scary and surreal . 
completely isolated from the rest of the world , stands fort spencer . 
here time stands still , and nothing changes . 
the inhabitants are soldiers driven by war and pillage . 
they are all somehow losers of society that have been banished -- men that are used to killing and have not done anything else in their entire life . 
men that are nothing , and has nothing to loose . 
the result is some sort of cabin fever . 
cannibalism is more like a sick game for them . 
since they find no pleasure in living , they find some excitement in killing and dying . 
it's like "" who's going to die first ? "" 
the unchangeable icy landscape , where birds do not sing and even wind doesn't move the leaves on the trees , resembles kubrick's "" the shining "" . 
it's hard to not get mad here ! 
one of the scary aspects of the film is a strange connection that the viewer establishes with the characters , and starts to understand them , although they have turned into half crazed killers . 
music is another factor that strengthens the atmosphere . 
a strange musical score , composed by michael nyman ( the piano ) and damon albarn , that often seems out of place , and in complete contrast to the image , somehow reflects the characters' twisted reactions on the world and their situation . 
the director herself stated that it was "" ok to laugh "" during the picture . 
and i must admit that it is often very funny , in a strange way ( such as the wonderful quote : "" . . it's 
lonely being a cannibal . 
you don't get that many friends . . . "" 
or when colqhoun is quoting ben franklin , saying "" eat to live . 
don't live to eat . "" ) . but 
mostly it is frightening and shocking as it goes deeper into the minds of these strange men and we witness their psychological change . 
every actor does a great job . 
especially robert carlyle as the sinister and intelligent cannibal , and guy pearce as the moral and honest soldier , nagged by his undeserved honor . 
this strange couple resemble lestat and lois in neil jordan's 'interview with the vampire' . 
actually there are many amusing parallels and connections to vampire movies , since the topics are so alike . 
 "" ravenous "" starts wonderfully and continues to shock and scare until it gets to the finale , where it looses focus and gets too primitive and rather boring . 
however these little failures don't diminish the impression . 
this is a bizarre dark comedy about the human mind and its change in different situations . 
it is a scary fable about the monster that lurks in everyone's soul , a dark side which we're all trying to hide -- but it's there -- always . 
it is one of the most frightening and successful horror films since "" the shining "" . 
 "" . . i said no food . 
i didn't say there was nothing to eat . . . "" 
- colqhoun , ravenous 
"
"1"," "" good will hunting "" is two movies in one : an independent take on the struggle of four boston pals and a traditional hollywood , "" prodigy child "" film complete with upbeats , downfalls , sporadically moving situations and plenty , plenty of shtick . 
unusually directed by gus van sant , "" good will hunting "" overcomes the banalities of its story by affirming the emergence of fresh , new talent . 
the film stars matt damon as will hunting as a mathematical , rebellious whiz kid inadvertly discovered by a college professor ( stellan skarsgard ) , who places him under psychological supervision with robin williams . 
in a nutshell , that's it . 
the core of the "" good will hunting "" is damon , who infuses the script ( co- written by "" chasing amy's "" ben affleck ) with just the right amount of warmth , sensitivity and humanity to accentuate his position as a refreshing multi- talented performer . 
but it's the acting that hits the mark , and damon hits all the right notes , flying over robin williams' deja-vu role ( "" awakenings "" was written all over this ) as a devastated shrink who has closed all contact with society due to his wife's tragic death . 
damon effortlessly blends the carelesness of a gregarious , confused thug with the absorbing ingeniousness of someone like einstein . 
his rich , complex character is the pulp of "" good will hunting . "" 
everything else pales in comparison . 
 "" good will hunting "" exposes the lack of profoundness of deliberately schmaltzy storytelling , but , unlike "" little man tate "" or "" phenomenon "" , it doesn't set up its story in a black and white , point a to point b be manner , but as the saga of an extraordinary individual whose feasibility for success doesn't automatically signify he must make easy , familiar choices , like the protagonists in the aforementioned . 
"
"1","curdled is a deliciously dark and witty black comedy , but its humour won't appeal to everyone . 
to be specific , let me give you an example . 
do you know in pulp fiction where jules and vincent go on brain detail after marvin and his head accidentally get separated ? 
if you thought that was completely tasteless and unfunny , don't see curdled . 
on the other hand , if you found that sequence to be pretty funny , you have the sense of humour that curdled is aimed at . 
our film's heroine , gabriela , played by angela jones , is a woman obssessively curious about murder and serial killers ; she even keeps a scrapbook of news articles . 
luckily for her , miami is being plagued by a serial killer rampage - her scrapbook is getting pretty big . 
the killer's nickname in the press is the blue blood killer , because he preys on older rich socialite women , and he's played by william baldwin ( this is not a spoiler ) . 
one particularly striking m . o . 
on the blue blood killer is his propensity to decapitate his victims . 
gabriela is watching television one day when she spots an advertisement for a firm whose line of work is perfectly attuned to her interests . 
she immediately quits her job , and signs on with pfcs , which stands for post-forensic cleaning service . 
no points for guessing what they do . 
her workmates are confused by gabriela's fascination with murder ; to them , it's just a day job . 
there's a hilarious locker room scene where they debate whether decapitated heads can talk , and what they would say . 
gabriela's partner , elena , played by mel gorham , is particularly perturbed by gabriela's wide-eyed fascination , and becomes really upset when gabriela volunteers them to clean up the blue blood killer's latest scene - they're the messiest , you see . 
unbeknownst to them , the last victim left something on the scene which would id the blue blood killer , so he's also heading over there . . 
the comparison to pulp fiction earlier on was not accidental - quentin tarantino executive-produced this film , which began life as a short film he saw at a film festival . 
apparently tarantino was so impressed that he helped braddock convert this into a feature-length film . 
there are other parallels - the star of curdled is angela jones ( the top billing goes to william baldwin , but really , jones is the central character ) , who's probably best known for her role as esmerelda villalobos , the death-obssessed taxi driver in pulp fiction . 
that role was written specifically for jones based upon her similar character in the aforementioned short film , curdled jr . 
jones is great in curdled - she's wonderfully funny and maintains an amusing wide-eyed naive curiousity about murder without compromising her character's innocence or likeability . 
she can express so much with one lift of her eyebrow . 
it's a great performance . 
reb braddock's direction is extremely sharp and clever , toeing the line between black humour and bad taste . 
the best scene in the film is an outrageously funny sequence involves jones and dancing - any more than that would be a spoiler . 
the opening credit sequence is also inventive and amusing . 
of course , it's impossible to really take this stuff seriously , but then again you're not really supposed to - braddock knows the audience is in on the joke , and makes it a fun little romp as a result . 
the one drawback of curdled is that it was based on a short film , and it feels like it ; the material is just stretched too thin in order to fulfill a feature length running time , and some parts just seem to drag . 
while its running time is already a short 94 minutes , it could really stand to lose twenty minutes or so to give it better pacing . 
curdled seems destined to be a nice cult film for miramax . 
it'll be interesting to see if it will appeal to mainstream audiences as well . 
"
"1","it is often said by his fans that hal hartley movies are an acquired taste . 
indeed . 
while perhaps less dangerous than tequila shooters or bungee-jumping , they require no less amount of physical stamina and concentration . 
i felt rewarded at the end of henry fool ; this movie creeps up on you-at a slow 139 minutes , i mean creeps-and despite the final shot's ambiguity , i left completely satisfied . 
henry fool ( "" used to have an ? e' "" ) arrives at garbageman simon grim's house , claims the vacant basement apartment , and almost instantly inspires simon ( urbaniak ) to take up writing-henry ( martin donovan look-alike ryan ) is an ex-convict , a once-great author who has been "" exiled and marginalized "" by the publishing community because of his criminal activity . 
simon's poetry turns him into a local sensation , as it causes mute women to sing , high-school girls to swoon , and councilmen to rile against its "" pornographic "" content . 
meanwhile , henry seduces both simon's dependent mother ( porter ) and immature sister ( sundance queen posey ) with philosophical babble ( which is by turns brilliant and inane ) and breathy animal lust . 
these story elements result in climaxes both inevitable and unpredictable ; the teacher-student relationship formed between henry and simon eventually reverses itself . 
henry fool is sprinkled with hartley-ian flourishes : simon drinks milk from "" udderley's "" ; the big teen hang-out is called "" world of donuts "" ; simon wears his garbageman's uniform throughout ; the editing style is decidedly elliptical . . . 
 ( which is key to the conclusion's said ambiguity ) . 
the performances by the three leads are abrasive at first , self-consciously "" quirky "" ; the introductory scenes are a chore . 
these people do grow on you because they convey genuine passion , a belief in themselves , and because they have long-term goals ; henry and simon may drink a lot of budweiser and hang out on the streetcorner , but they aren't pop slackers . 
the story is rather classical : the tutor is a better talker than a doer , raised on books ; the timid tutee has innate talent his master only dreams of . 
 ( shades of film school . . . ) 
the finished film is epic in its proportions for a story so small , and the final third does test one's patience , yet henry fool is tight , hardly excessive in its length . 
how refreshing to see a movie this long in 1998 devoted entirely to character . 
and unless i nodded off , not a single building exploded . 
this , hartley's seventh feature , is contemplative about "" the artist "" ; fortunately , we never get a sampling of simon's work , and it's a testament to the actors and the screenplay that by the end we can surmise what sort of thoughts would pour from these writers' pens . 
"
"1","most people fit into two different categories : you either love woody allen , or you hate his guts . 
my family , for the most part , hates him and his movies . 
i think he's very funny , but his shtick has gotten forced and contrived over the years . 
so maybe taking his body away was the best decision any producer could have thought of . 
unrestrained by physical boundaries , allen's humor comes shining through . 
those who had problems with his physical appearance will be able to join the rest of us in laughing at allen's intelligent observations of life . 
those who had problems with his verbal comedy may want to skip this one . 
in 1995 , a film was introduced to audiences which sparked their imaginations and showed them something they'd never seen before . 
toy story used state-of-the-art computer technology and presented a world of toys who would come alive when no humans were present . 
many critics will call that a better film , but i believe they only say that because it was a completely original motion picture . 
antz , however , has upped the ante considerably . 
disney's a bug's life isn't due out for another two months , and dreamworks seems to have received the better end of the deal . 
by beating disney out , they have satisfied the audience's thirst for computer-animated films . 
but don't let that fool you : disney is definitely not scared . 
in the past two years , competitions have broken out between studios . 
in 1997 , it was the volcano duel . 
in my opinion , dante's peak came out way ahead of its predecessor , both in time and in quality . 
volcano had an original premise , but destroyed that with some very ridiculous situations . 
in 1998 , there are twice as many competing films . 
first was the comet competition , and armageddon blew away it's cheesily dramatic competitor deep impact . 
but now , it's even more interesting , as one beloved studio ( disney ) goes up against the newcomer ( dreamworks ) . 
who will prevail ? 
time will tell , but i'm sure that mr . mouse has nothing to fear . 
this may sound like i didn't like antz ; on the contrary , i'd put it up there with toy story . 
but due to it's pg rating , many parents may be put off by some of the dialogue which shouldn't appear in disney's version . 
some of the dialogue in antz pushes the envelope for a family-oriented film . 
sexual innuendoes and profanity pop up occasionally , which makes dreamworks' animated feature geared more for an adult crowd . 
the humor is also written especially for adults , though many kids were laughing in the theater i attended . 
this is the type of film that should be made for families more often : entertaining for kids and entertaining for parents . 
antz begins with a hilarious monologue which seems a meld between woody allen's shtick and franz kafka's metamorphosis , the short story of a man who wakes up to discover himself as a bug . 
z ( allen ) is a troubled ant , believing he was not made to be a worker . 
 "" when you're the middle child in a family of five million . . . "" he comments about his neglected childhood . 
one night , z is sitting in a bar with his friend weaver ( sylvester stallone ) , discussing his pathetic place in life . 
in walks princess bala ( sharon stone ) , whom no one recognizes without a crown . 
bala asks z is he would like to dance , and they engage in a pulp fiction-esque dance while everyone else is following the leader . 
after discovering that she is the princess , z falls in love , but there's a problem : bala is getting married to general mandible ( gene hackman ) , a ruthless leader who merely wants to control a better and stronger colony . 
in order to do that , he must eliminate not only the queen ( anne bancroft ) , but the weakest of the colony , namely the worker ants . 
but to get rid of the queen , he needs to get rid of the loyal army ants who would be willing to die for her . 
he and colonel cutter ( christopher walkin ) come up with a plan to send the loyal ants off to battle , where they will surely be killed . 
the queen is reluctant at first , but decides it is best for the colony . 
meanwhile , z wants to meet bala again , and he asks weaver , an army ant , to switch places with him . 
so z gets sent off to battle , but he manages to survive the slaughter by the termites . 
the battle sequence is absolutely stunning , though you may have flashbacks to starship troopers , which contained a very similar sequence . 
however , antz and that 1997 film were both in production around the same time , so the similarities are merely coincidence . 
the second half of the film revolves around z's kidnapping of bala , and their search for a mythical place called insectopia . 
there , an ant can be his own boss and have all the food he wants . 
the adventures z and bala get into are surprisingly high in tension , especially one involving a magnifying glass . 
looming over the targets like the spaceships from independence day ( in fact , i'm just going to assume that the producers referenced id4 intentionally ) . 
the ants look up in awe , and then a beam of fire blasts into the ground . 
visually , it's an exciting rush of adrenaline . 
but don't be fooled . . . 
little kids shouldn't see this , as they may just try and copy it . 
after seeing antz , i vowed never to intentionally step on an ant again . 
hopefully , children will learn that killing ants is rather cruel . 
as an animated film , antz is probably the best you will find to date . 
visually , it's as stunning as what dreams may come . 
the best aspect of animation is the fact that the characters aren't limited by gravity . 
they can take ridiculous situations and make them seem plausible . 
one great moment involves a mass of worker ants bunching up to form a wrecking ball . 
the animation is so perfect that you can virtually see every single ant on the ball . 
however , the most exhilarating scene involves bala getting stuck to the bottom of a young boy's shoe . 
it's truly a great example of film making at its finest . 
with computer technology , the animators have carefully made the ants' faces look similar to the actors providing the voices . 
the best example would have to be barbatus ( danny glover ) . 
at one point , you can even see the pores on his face ( although , i doubt ants have pores . . . 
do they ? ) . 
barbatus also has a touching but rather gruesome scene as he has his final words with z without a body . 
young kids may be disturbed by the site of a dismembered head , but a good deal of humor is derived ( more appropriate for adults , of course ) . 
disney's a bug's life looks good , but i don't know if they will be able to best dreamworks' newest animated feature in terms of animation . 
if not , then dreamworks will have done something no other studio could do : go head to head with the big mouse , and knock him down ( yes , anastasia was good , but not nearly as good as even the worst of disney ) . 
vocal talent is always essential to an animated feature , and antz has one of the best line-ups seen since toy story . 
in fact , it far exceeds that one . 
woody allen has always been funny , but here he transcends most of what he's done in the past few years . 
without a body , his comic timing is the most noticeable thing . 
in fact , i'm pretty sure that the writers let him improvise a lot of his lines . 
sharon stone as bala shows off some of her comic ability , though for the most part , stone works best as a dramatic actress . 
sylvester stallone ( teamed up with stone once again ) is beginning to solidify his statement that he wants to be an actor , not a typecast action star . 
after a snub at the oscars last year , stallone is proving himself as the serious ( or comedic , as illustrated here ) actor that he is . 
gene hackman is superb as the gruff-talking general , almost doing another take on his crimson tide persona . 
christopher walkin is probably more noticed by his voice , and so many people will remember him from such hits as batman returns . 
anne bancroft has a minimal role , but she's effective nonetheless . 
danny glover has a small role , but he does a very , very good job . 
dan aykroyd and jane curtin also lend their voices as two lovesick , euro-trash bees--both are very unrecognizable , especially aykroyd . 
jennifer lopez plays a worker ant who falls in love with weaver , although most people won't recognize her voice either . 
many people will recognize grant shaud's voice as the foreman . 
he played miles on the tv show murphy brown . 
this is definitely a huge cast with some high-profile names , and it will definitely help it's grosses . 
of course , you can probably tell where a lot of the $60 million budget went to , also . 
directors eric darnell and lawrence guterman are relative newcomers ( though guterman did direct a 1994 feature , headless ! ) . 
but both show an incredible talent for this type of a picture . 
tense at times , and very funny throughout , the two hold this film together like professionals . 
the screenplay by todd alcott and chris weitz is quite simple in plot , but it contains a lot of subtlety that makes the film more suitable for adults . 
kids will delight in the animation , while parents can laugh heartily at the humor . 
most of it will go over young children's heads . 
does that mean you shouldn't take kids to see it ? 
not at all . 
they will have a lot of fun watching this one . 
what is great is the themes that are given to us . 
part social commentary , part romance story , and part moral drama , antz gives everyone something to talk about , whether it be the animation , or the discussions of individualism and community . 
thankfully , it's not subtle in either aspects . 
antz is rated pg for mild language and some intense action . 
sometimes the language can be pushing the limits for a family movie , but the violence is what should keep kids at home . 
the battle scene has ants melting in acid , and bugs being speared to death . 
and the magnifying scene shows an ant disintegrate in the beam of sunlight . 
but other than that ( and some sexual innuendos ) , it's a perfect choice for some wholesome fun at the theaters . 
i doubt many children will understand the sexual innuendos unless they are old enough , but it's still advisable to leave really young children at home . 
have i confused you enough ? 
if you do take your kids , i recommend seeing the film with them , because more than likely , you'll enjoy it the most . 
"
"1","that's the question i asked myself when venturing nervously into "" the wedding singer , "" the latest film to star the saturday night live alumnus . 
does he draw laughs from his sad , puppy dog expression and don't-hate-me-for-being-a-simpleton observations ? 
or do fans giggle when he screams at the top of his lungs at people ? 
or is it just the fact that he sings songs with silly lyrics that bowl audiences over ? 
well , there's a little bit of all of that in "" the wedding singer "" and while i exited the theater still not one hundred percent sure of mr . sandler's thing , i did have a surprisingly good time . 
that's because , in a nutshell , "" the wedding singer "" is one of the sweetest movies you're ever likely to come across . 
that's right . 
sweet . 
the humor in the film runs the gamut from dumb to mildly amusing to laugh-out-loud hysterical but the tone ? 
well , it's just lovely . 
i have to admit i was half-expecting farting armpit humor , gratuitous nudity , superfluous , cloying subplots , and some nasty , unnecessary violence . 
instead ? 
well , i've said it before . 
sweet . 
the year is 1985 and sandler plays robbie hart , the eponymous wedding singer , a job aspiring rock stars often settle for . 
when robbie's fianc ? e dumps him at his own altar , robbie gets depressed and turns to a plucky waitress called julia ( drew barrymore ) who has some problems of her own ( she's marrying a hunky junk bonds dealer who , unbeknownst to her , isn't that big on monogamy ) . 
it isn't giving anything away to say that robbie and julia fall in love . 
aww . . . 
sandler and barrymore are a good match and they're assisted by some terrific cameo appearances , including steve buscemi and jon lovitz , whose individual scenes are perhaps the funniest in the film . 
writer tim herlihy ( with uncredited assistance from carrie fisher ) keeps the story bubbling along to its predictable conclusion . 
it doesn't all work but it's handled with such light-heartedness that robbie and julia coming together generates more smiles than groans . 
herlihy and director frank coraci have done a great job of recreating the sights , sounds , and affectations of the 1980s . 
the soundtrack--an ever-present force in the film--is packed with wall-to-wall hits of the period , new wave upon new wave of songs from billy idol's "" white wedding "" to the smiths' "" how soon is now ? "" 
to culture club's "" do you really want to hurt me ? "" 
the mix of music and fashion would make "" the wedding singer "" a great double feature with "" boogie nights . "" 
if you grew up listening to the cure and a flock of seagulls and the psychedelic furs , then "" the wedding singer "" is bound to put a nostalgic hop in your stride . 
if you're a fan of the lovable , laughable adam sandler , well . . . 
let's just say that "" the wedding singer "" might well be the only film in recent memory to make * me * want to rent "" happy gilmore . "" 
"
"1","jarvis cocker of pulp once said that he wrote common people after noticing mike leigh box-sets on the video shelves -- he had a feeling that economic deprivation was becoming a tourist experience for the well-off . 
maybe it's a classic case of displacement : it's easier to see jarvis' own lyrics ( obsessed with acrylic and wood chip on the wall ) as a fetishization of lowlife , rather than leigh's films . 
but it's worth being reminded that drab interiors and a couple of working-class characters don't make for a guarantee of 'authenticity' , let alone a good film . 
it's the triumph of secrets & lies , then , that it goes beyond gestures of sympathy for the common people into a probing of just what it means to seek 'authenticity' and honesty in everyday lives . 
following her adopted mother's funeral , hortense , a young black optometrist , sets out to find her birth mother , and is disturbed to find out that she is white . 
it is cynthia , a factory worker who lives in a shabby house with her perpetually moody daughter roxanne . 
cynthia's younger brother maurice is a successful photographer who has not seen his sister for ages , largely because of his wife's animosity towards her . 
hortense calls up cynthia , who initially breaks down in tears and refuses to see her . 
but their mutually suspicious meeting gives way to a warm friendship eventually . 
cynthia invites hortense to come along to a party , which maurice is hosting . . . 
secrets & lies has a simple enough theme at its heart -- as one character puts it , "" best to tell the truth , isn't it ? 
that way nobody gets hurt . "" . 
but if the film delivers much more than a trite message , it's because we are also shown how hard it can be to face up to ugly truths , even while the evasions and unspoken grievances slowly choke us . 
hence , cynthia's difficulty with acknowledging ( first to herself , then to others ) that hortense is her daughter . 
one of her first reactions to seeing hortense is a sincere denial that she has ever "" been with a black man "" , before a long-suppressed memory seizes her . 
at the party , cynthia's pretense that hortense is her factory co-worker leads her to ever more convoluted lies , as agonizing as they are funny . 
little lies seep into every corner , like maurice pretending that he's "" just dropping by "" when he visits cynthia after much deliberation . 
maurice's job as a photographer gives the film opportunities for side comments on the main theme - a sad-looking bride that maurice coaxes to smile , a couple who pose awkwardly with a prominent wedding ring and argue about his spectacles . 
one of the most startling images is of a beautiful woman with large scars on her face : she says she needs the photo to look "" as bad as possible "" to collect insurance money , yet the short scene leaves you wondering about what untold story lies behind the scars . 
there are occasionally hilarious moments , as when cynthia attempts to give her daughter some unwelcome advice on contraception , "" i've got a dutch cap floating about somewhere upstairs "" ; or when cynthia stares at her own rather pedestrian legs and tells roxanne , "" if you've got it , flaunt it , is what i say . "" 
as played by brenda blethyn , cynthia comes close to being a caricature , with her nervous , somewhat disconnected way of talking . 
but she's really just right for the role of someone who inspires sympathy and yet strains the tolerance of those around her , precisely because she's so needy of love , perhaps . 
indeed , the whole cast gives warmly rounded , detailed performances . 
the script was developed partly through improvisations , and the fusion of cast , script and director shows best in the party scene - seemingly everyone is talking at the same time , and yet many subtle observations are being made throughout . 
in a very different way , but also using a long single shot , the scene of hortense and cynthia's first meeting in a lonely caf=8a achieves a touching intensity , all the more for their reticence and unspoken feelings . 
the film's climax - with all the secrets and lies finally spilled out in ibsen-esque revelations , and everybody hugging each other - is the one thing that seems false about this film . 
however , it's a film that truly earns its happy ending after the misery and repression of the character's lives . 
when cynthia says near the end , this is the life , innit ? , you get the sense that , following the cynicism of his last film naked , leigh has rediscovered that life can be sweet after all , without comforting illusions . 
the flying inkpot's rating system : * wait for the video . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"1","richard linklater's "" slacker , "" made in 1991 for a budget of only $23 , 000 , immerses itself in the twentysomething , college-town culture of austin , texas . 
most of these characters are either unemployed or work jobs that are apparently too menial to be worth mentioning . 
their lifestyle is a sort of passive resistance to the idea that people should go out and actively pursue a career after graduation ; they seem content to sit around spouting off about the inadequacy of american democracy , the pervasiveness of slave morality , the subtle messages in pop culture , and such . 
ask them what they've been doing lately , and they'll more likely than not reply , "" oh , you know , just hanging out . "" 
linklater uses an interesting technique to examine these characters : the camera follows one person for a few minutes , then someone else walks by and the camera follows that person , who walks into a diner just as another person is walking out the door . 
 . 
 . 
 . 
it's certainly a lot of fun listening to these characters talk : some of them are clearly very intelligent and have some genuinely insightful ideas , some of them are just plain weird , and some of them think their ideas are a lot more profound than they really are . 
the opening monologue , delivered by linklater himself to a taxi driver , tosses around ideas about alternate realities that nicely set up the meandering structure of the film . 
other characters along the way offer observations about everything from dating relationships to the history of anarchist philosophy , while groups of pseudo-intellectuals kick around ideas about the nobility of sitting around and doing nothing or the subtle bribery-based morality in "" scooby-doo . "" 
for the most part , however , the best moments are the ones involving the slightly unhinged types . 
near the beginning , a paranoid man follows a pedestrian for several blocks , warning him about government conspiracies involving everything from global warming to secret colonization of mars . 
another man seems to be collecting televisions , keeping at least fifteen sets running at the same time and playing tapes of a graduate student who recorded himself having a nervous breakdown and destroying the camera . 
and in a scene that drew a big laugh from everyone present when i saw the film , a man tries to achieve closure after a failed relationship by reciting poetry on a bridge and then throwing a typewriter into the creek below . 
the only problem with "" slacker "" is that it starts to run out of steam towards the end . 
since linklater only spends a few minutes with each character , the introduction of the new characters gets repetitive after a while . 
there are only so many times you can hear , "" hey , what's going on ? "" 
 "" not much , what are you up to ? "" 
 "" nothing really , just hanging around , "" before it gets on your nerves ; the film might well have benefited from a slightly slower pace and a little bit more characterization . 
and the dialogue in the second half of the film is by and large not quite as interesting as that in the first half ; a jfk buff , for example , seems like a pale imitation of the previous conspiracy theorist , and many of the characters just generally aren't as weird or unique . 
instead of depicting a city populated by mostly normal people and then showing us the strangeness that we might not have noticed at first , linklater shows us the oddballs first , then stops and reminds us that ordinary people live there too . 
 "" slacker "" is a good film and a wonderfully offbeat and entertaining comedy , whatever its flaws , and its status as a cult classic is well-deserved . 
i just can't help but think it might have been even better if linklater had slowed down a little bit and filmed these scenes in reverse order . 
"
"1"," "" a breed apart "" casts rutger hauer as a crazy , bird-loving recluse who picks his feathered friends over kathleen turner . 
a bit hard to swallow ? 
that's only the first of many improbabilities in this film . 
hauer stars as a man obsessed with keeping the birds on his island safe , while boothe plays a guy hired to steal a couple of rare eagle eggs by a rich egg collector . 
turner is the woman caught between the two men . 
 "" a breed apart "" isn't a bad movie , exactly . 
indeed , i found myself rooting for both the hauer and boothe characters , even though their goals couldn't be more different . 
the problem with the film is that there are just too many inconsistencies . 
for example , early on in the film , hauer physically assaults two drunken rednecks shooting at "" his "" birds . 
later on , the rednecks come back for revenge with four other people , and hauer kills a few of them . 
i have a tough time believing that the police wouldn't get involved at that point . 
another problem is the silly love-triangle that develops . 
i didn't care one way or the other who ended up with turner . 
i was more interested in finding out which of the two men would be victorious in their respective missions . 
however , despite this uninteresting sub-plot , turner did manage to give a great performance as the woman who reminds the two men that sometimes there's more to life than money and birds . 
as for hauer , he's an actor i've always admired . 
he has a penchant for picking strange and unusual characters . 
and this one is no exception . 
he's frequently seen riding around his island on a white horse , wearing pirate's clothing , and holstering a cross-bow . 
despite all his eccentric mannerisms , though , hauer always manages to let the human side of his character shine through . 
for example , there's a scene in which he barks at turner and her son because they came onto his island a day early . 
he comes off as crazy loner in that scene , but a few minutes later , he is apologizing to turner , and we believe his intentions . 
soon after , we find out he's a vietnam vet , and his actions become fairly clear to us . 
 "" a breed apart "" isn't a great movie by any means , but it does contain good performances by all three leads , and it's worth seeing for that reason alone . 
"
"1","titanic is so close to being the perfect movie it's upsetting that it isn't . 
the film , which cost $200 million+ to make and could of put 20th century fox into a lot of finicial trouble if it 'sunk' ( pun intended ) is a labour of love for cameron , who wrote and directed the film . 
we all know that big budget dosen't mean great film ( see waterworld ( 1995 ) ) but titanic is far superior to kevin costners waterlogged epic . 
but sadly , titanic just misses the mark of masterpiece ( although it is one of cameron's best films ) 
the film starts with present day explorers searching the runied titanic . 
they find a safe , and inside a picture of a woman . 
the woman in the picture ( an old winslet ) tells the explorers that the picture is of her . 
the explorers invite her over , and she then tells her story of titanic . 
in the flashback , dicaprio plays poor boy jack dawson , who , after winning a poker game , wins two tickets to board the grand ship titanic , leaving liverpool to go to america . 
also boarding the ship is rich woman rose dewitt bukater ( winslet ) who is being forced into a marriage with a man she dosen't love at all , cal hockley ( zane ) so her family can remain rich . 
she nearly commits suicide on the ship , but jack comes to the rescue , saves rose , they fall in love , and cal gets jealous and eventually tries to kill them . 
oh yeah , and the ship sinks . 
and that is the main problem with the film , and which stops it from being a work of genius . 
the story and script ( both by cameron ) are both weak . 
the story is full of cliched characters , ( the creepy man who the nice girl has to marry , the poor boy with heart , the stuck-up mother ) and poor dialogue ( the script consists of lots of in-jokes of how the boat won't sink , and most of the dialogue is pretty basic ) it's a shame really , as the audience does have to sit through 3 hours of this film . 
without good dialogue , a film could become a very long , very boring film ( like camerons own terminator 2 , 1992 ) but , luckily , there are some redeeming features that make the story and dialogue problems just disappear . 
firstly , there's cameron's direction . 
there are some great sweeping shots of the titanic , and some clever fades between the flashback titanic and the ruined titanic . 
but the scenes cameron directs especially well are the disaster scenes at the end . 
there is a lot of mayhem and panic , all done very well by cameron . 
it's a scary sight , watching bodies fall from great heights into the watery depths below . 
thanks to cameron's direction , then , the audiences attention is held for the full 3 hours 15 minutes . 
to support the directing are the excellent cast , working very well with their underwritten characters . 
dicaprio is good , although he only looks 16-17 years old . 
his performance of a over excitiable , yet also well mannered boy is excellent , and he also has some funny lines . 
winslet is great also , and her transistion from a well mannered rich girl to a rebelous young adult is pretty smooth . 
zane is deliciously evil as cal , saying every line with a sneer and a flicker of the eye lash . 
the audience really does come to hate him . 
he may be playing the same character he plays in every film he's in ( like dead calm , 1988 ) but he does it really , really well . 
also worthy of note is kathy bates ( edward scissorhands , 1990 ) as a loud mouthed american . 
finally , the icing on the 'great things' cake are the special effects . 
cameron is a whiz with effects ( just watch aliens ( 1988 ) , terminator 2 and true lies , 1994 ) and they are used very well throughout . 
the sweeps of the ships are awesome , although digital domain , who did the effects , cannot animate human movement too well . 
the humans seem to move to 'smoothly' , there's just something odd about them . 
you can tell that they have been animated on a computer . 
of course , the ship sinking scenes are awesome , with bodies flying all over the place , and the scene where the ship splits in half has to be seen to be believed . 
titanic is one of the only films where effects have reinforced the film . 
titanic , then , is a wonder of directing , acting and cgi , but not writing and story . 
again , like most of camerons films , the editing is loose ( cameron edits himself ) , and the film could of come in under three hours with a few more cuts . 
titanic , then , although not the godfather of movies it could of been , is a wonderful attempt at creating a work of genius . 
enjoyable , scary , and even sad , titanic is a film cinema was invented for , filling the screen with incredible images , and assaulting the ears with awesome sound . 
a superb film , but sadly not perfect . 
overall rating= ( 
"
"1","on seeing the outrageous previews for bulworth one wonders what plot could possibly allow beatty get away with making those statements ( in case you missed it , warren beatty plays a politician on the campaign trail . 
he says to a black congregation "" . . . if you can't cut down on malt liquor and chicken wings and get behind someone other than a running back who stabs his wife , you're never gonna get rid of me . "" ) 
well , there is such a plot , and it works very well in this comedy . 
beatty plays jay billington bulworth , a long-time democratic senator from california . 
the movie opens on a painfully repetitious montage of bulworth's latest commercials condemning affirmative action . 
the montage is ironically intercut with pictures of martin luther king and bulworth in his youth working with jack kennedy . 
when we finally lay eyes on bulworth he is morosely weeping in front of his tv , having gone without food or sleep for days . 
his campaign is entering the final weekend before the primaries but his depression has sunk in too far for him to care . 
first he calls a lobbyist from the insurance industry to get a bribe - a $10 million life insurance policy in his daughter's name . 
then he calls an associate to arrange for his own assassination . 
his assistant murphy ( oliver platt ) is oblivious to bulworth's suicidal state and drags him to his speaking engagements . 
bulworth halfheartedly reads his speech at an african-american church , then takes questions from the audience . 
he is hit hard with questions about his voting record . 
he had promised money to help rebuild the community after the riots , and it hasn't shown up . 
since he's a dead man anyway , he figures he'll answer truthfully : he and bill clinton and newt gingrich came to l . a . for the photo opportunity . 
they made some promises that improved their public image for a while , and then counted on the media and the public to eventually forget about the promises they made . 
the shock and outrage from the congregation grows , the questions keep coming , and he keeps shooting back honest , if ugly , answers . 
 ( before i go further , i'd like to make a distinction that the denver post failed to make , and that is that characterizing african-americans as malt-liquor drinking o . j . 
fans is not part of bulworth's "" truth . "" 
that line is in the trailers but it should not be praised like the other political confessions he makes in the movie . 
when the critics praise beatty for speaking the truth about politics , this line is not what they're talking about . ) 
the experience is liberating . 
with nothing left to lose , bulworth is no longer restricted to burping generic platitudes out of both sides of his mouth . 
he can say whatever he wants because he's going to be dead anyway . 
why not tell the people the truth about being a sleazy politician - that he is bought and paid for by lobbyists , and that racism among the populace protects politicians from being the target of charges of classism ? 
bulworth's candor wins him three volunteers from the church , one of whom , nikki ( halle barry ) , he gets a crush on . 
he feels so good afterwards that he actually eats something . 
chicken wings , appropriately enough . 
bulworth shows up late for his meeting with some movie studio executives . 
when one of them asks where he stands on government regulation of movie and tv ratings , bulworth drifts to the topic of the quality of filmed entertainment . 
with so much money and so many talented people working so hard , he wonders , why can't hollywood make a quality product . 
 ( you go , warren ! ) 
when they become indignant and ask why he's talking to them if he has such a low opinion of their product , he callously admits that it's because they are rich jews . 
that night he drops the three african-american volunteers at their nightclub , and he decides to go in with them . 
he stays up all night drinking , smoking pot , dancing , falling in love with nikki , and learning to scratch turntables and rap . 
the next day , he shuns his prepared speech and instead raps to the suit-and-tie fundraisers . 
from then on , at all of his political appearances , he raps his political truth . 
his rap is not bad for a middle-aged white guy . 
he's not very good , but it is his first try and at least he's not embarrassingly bad . 
his lobbyists are not amused , but the rest of his constituency seems to like the new bulworth . 
eventually , the movie's plot ( remember he hired a hit man ? ) 
overtakes the politics , which is too bad . 
screen time is spent with bulworth trying to cancel the request for his assassination while the hit man seems to be closing in on him . 
there are even a few gratuitous chase scenes , bulworth fleeing his killer . 
these scenes may have been necessary to keep the events of the film moving along , but it distracted and detracted from bulworth's political ranting , which was much more interesting than the ever-present , obvious-looking assassin . 
still , most of the movie is original and very enjoyable , and beatty deserves most of credit for bringing it to the screen . 
as the story and screen writer , he came up first with a good structure , then with good dialogue to back it up ( jeremy pikser co-wrote the screenplay ) . 
as an actor , he was able to convincingly portray bulworth's depression , then liberation and rebirth . 
as a producer ( there were four others ) he was able to keep the movie free from hollywood's indulgent formulas ( except for those inexcusable chase scenes ) . 
someone else probably could have directed , but since he was there anyway , what the heck . 
it's too bad that there aren't more movies like this around - movies that tackle political corruption in a way that challenges viewers to pay more attention to real politics . 
after all , much of the inspiration for bulworth is straight out of the news . 
just a little perception and insight and you could write your own bulworth rants . 
just don't expect to be popular with the insurance companies . 
"
"1","american pie acknowledges a cold , hard fact that most movies don't : it is very difficult to get laid . 
its four virgin heroes are jim ( biggs ) , a chronic masturbator , kev ( nicholas ) , who desperately wants to deflower his girlfriend ( reid ) , oz ( klein ) , a lacrosse player whose approach requires some fine tuning , and finch ( eddie kaye thomas ) , a germphobe ( his crass nickname is hilarious , but i won't spoil it here ) who pays a classmate to spread rumours about the size of his member . 
jim , kev , oz and finch attend a high school in suburban michigan full of so many impossibly beautiful women it's no wonder they're horny all the time . 
after a party at their studly friend stifler's ( seann william scott , in the film's sharpest performance ) house leaves them sexually unsatisfied , the quartet make a pact : to "" lose it "" by graduation-specifically , prom night , which is only a few weeks away . 
american pie is in the tradition of bachelor party or revenge of the nerds . 
almost every conversation these characters have revolves around makin' whoopee . 
all women are there to be ogled . 
 ( alyson hannigan's perky music student is the only memorable female of the bunch . ) 
situations abound that defy logic only to arouse and/or amuse its core audience , adolescent boys . 
 ( to arouse : nadia's ( shannon elizabeth ) internet striptease-an unexpectedly raucous ( and guiltily pleasurable ) sequence . 
to amuse : jim's lusty encounter with a hot apple pie . ) 
what differentiates american pie from those dirty eighties comedies , aside from a very nineties obsession with bodily fluids * , is a cast that's light years more appealing than that of , say , just one of the guys . 
two more standouts : klein and "" sctv "" 's eugene levy . 
klein plays a kind-hearted athlete for the second time in a row , after alexander payne's underappreciated election . 
i hope to see more of this warm actor with the disarmingly honest face very soon . 
levy's is the most crowd-pleasing performance , and indeed , it's nice to see him back on the big screen in a role that makes wonderful use of that expressive brow . 
american pie also wants to emulate the teen flicks your parents _would_ let you watch growing up . 
it skillfully employs a broad mix of pop tunes , much like john hughes' movies did , and even pays homage to the breakfast club a couple of times , most evidently when the prom band covers simple minds' "" don't you ( forget about me ) . "" 
the picture ultimately has a healthy , if obligatory , attitude towards safe sex-even at their most libidinous , american pie's protagonists first whip out a condom . 
the filmmakers prove that socially responsible raunch is possible . 
for its familiarity and for its charming leads , i recommend american pie , but the buzz on this film had me expecting something . . . fresher . 
as far as the new teen cinema goes , it's at the top of the heap . 
 * don't say i didn't warn you about the party scene . 
"
"1","the 1998 summer movie season is still in its infancy . 
but after diasappointing films such as "" godzilla "" and "" fear and loathing in las vegas "" , it would be nice to see a really good film . 
but i doubt you could have expected this . 
the truman show is one of the most unique films i have ever seen , and it deserves a spot on the "" decade's best "" list . 
there is no way to isolate any single component of this picture and proclaim , "" yes , that's what makes this film great . "" 
the blend of peter weir's masterful ( and in many ways brilliant ) direction , peter biziou's stunning photography and jim carrey's performance is what makes this film work so fantastically . 
there is something strangely beautiful about every shot in the truman show . 
it may be the use of color or the placement of characters in the frame , but everything about this film looks intentional and perfect . 
carrey has made a very wise choice . 
by playing mild-mannered truman burbank , he allows himself enough room to be comical , and therefore not alienating his true fans , while still showing a vulnerable and human side . 
that is a side which has been missing from nearly every major character he has played in his numerous commercial successes . 
truman burbank was born to an audience of millions . 
he was chosen before birth to be the focus of a 24 hour television show . 
everything in his environment is controlled by a team of technicians , led by the show's director , christof ( played by ed harris ) . 
everyone in truman's life is an actor or an extra . 
they are all being watched by millions of people around the globe , people who can tune in at any time of the day to see what is happening in truman's life . 
but he is the only person that is not aware of it . 
the classification of the truman show may be tricky . 
the audience reacted to many of truman's revelations with laughter . 
i did not laugh much during the film because i was so emotionally wrapped up with the character . 
the things that made the audience laugh gave me glassy eyes , because what was happening to him , indeed what had been done to him his whole life was wrong . 
so is this going to end up labeled as a comedy ? 
a drama ? 
it really depends on the audience . 
but to me , the truman show was a touching , sad tale about the extents to which a corporation will go to exploit human life for the entertainment of others . 
but above all else , the truman show was a stunningly beautiful picture with humor , heart and scary realism . 
oscar predictions in june are pointless , but if the truman show had been released on schedule in late fall or winter of 1997 , as originally planned , james cameron would be oscar-less . 
"
"1","one way of telling if a film is good or not is by the length . 
if a film is only 90 minutes , but feels like 300 minutes , then it's crap . 
but if a film last 2 1/2 hours , and feels like 90 minutes , then it's excellent . 
boogie nights falls into the latter catagory . 
the director , anderson , delivers a funny , hip , yet sometimes violent film , which flies along . 
mark whalberg , a . k . a 
marky mark , plays eddie adams , a seventeen year old with a certain 'gift' in the midriff area . 
jack horner ( reynolds ) is a adult film director , who decides that eddie would be great in the adult movie business . 
after running away from home , eddie joins jack , changes his name to dirk diggler , and starts making erotic movies . 
in the movie business , dirk meets a whole load of characters ( which the film introduces very quickly and slickly ) such as scotty ( phillip seymour hoffman ) , rollergirl ( graham ) amber ( moore ) and floyd ( phillip baker hall ) , and little bill ( william h . macy ) all the characters are well written , well played , and the audience gets to know them pretty well , thanks to the excellent script . 
we learn about ambers grief about not being able to see her child due to a divorce , rollergirls hard time at school , and little bills wife , who sleeps with everyone except her husband . 
but the best thing about the excellent boogie nights is paul andersons direction and writing . 
the direction is fast , thrilling , and never holds up . 
there are some great shots , some lovely steadiocam and handheld camera sequences , and lots of other neat directional touches . 
the writing is fabulous , with some intelligent dialogue , some funny dialogue , but none of the dialogue is crap , like most hollywood films ( such as the lost world : jurassic park ( 1997 ) , or tommorow never dies ( 1997 ) . ) 
boogie nights really is a spectacular feat of direction and writing , on par ( and sometimes betters ) quentin tarantino's films resevoir dogs ( 1992 ) and pulp fiction ( 1994 ) 
the soundtrack is also excellent . 
like american graffiti ( 1973 ) , the film features some great old songs on the soundtrack , which heightens the atmosphere , and gives the film an extra lift . 
also , the costumes are great . 
the clothes really do look like what people wore in the seventies and eighties . 
the film , although excellent , does have some flaws . 
firstly , wahlberg , although excellent , cannot do highly scenes which require him to be angry . 
in both scenes where he has to act angry , his acting is so 'off' , the scenes tension and anger is lost . 
but the rest of the cast are excellent . 
burt reynolds is brilliant , julianne moore shows real emotion , and william h . macy is great aswell ( but he always is . ) 
another flaw with the film , though , is that the ending seems a bit tacked on . 
it seems anderson saw the film was going on a bit , and needed to wrap up quickly . 
it's a shame , really , as the rest of the film is perfectly paced . 
but they're small niggles really . 
boogie nights is an excellent film . 
superb directing , writing , acting and music , all combine to make one spectacular film . 
whatever you do , do not miss out on boogie nights . 
"
"1","it's ironic that the best films in cinema history are invariably the original director's cut of the film . 
films such as aliens , the abyss , the wild bunch , blade runner , and terminator 2 are all prime examples of a filmmaker's integrity , later chopped up or mucked with by the studio . 
the advent of the dvd format has provided a more accessible way to get these original cuts to the public and provide to film freaks like myself the ability to become further enraptured by the extension of such classic films . 
the dvd release of the original international version of luc besson's 1995 masterpiece the professional , which is known as l ? on around the world , is a prime example of how a good film can become an instant classic as a director's cut . 
for years , i have heard of an "" international "" version available only in laserdisc format , which has eluded me for years . 
i even bought a laserdisc player from my uncle don for 100 bucks just to watch certain directors' cuts - including l ? on . 
but after countless searches in laserdisc stores , i could never find it . 
until now . 
the film follows the story of l ? on , played by jean reno , a professional hit man for an italian mob crew run by danny aiello . 
he lives next door to a ferociously independent 12-year-old girl named mathilda - played by then newcomer natalie portman , whose father is involved in drugs and crooked cops . 
one day , a crew of the cops - lead by gary oldman in an over-the-top performance - kills her entire family while mathilda is out buying groceries . 
taking pity on her , l ? on hides her in his apartment when she returns to save her life . 
mathilda learns of l ? on's hit man profession and decides to follow in l ? on's footsteps as a "" cleaner . "" 
she then falls in love with him and manages to reawaken emotions within l ? on he has kept locked away as part of his profession . 
at this point , the differences in the american version and the international version really kick in . 
the international version contains an additional 24 minutes of footage that pertains directly to the relationship of l ? on and mathilda , footage that american censors deemed "" too explicit . "" 
i assume that american censors feel that defining character development is too much for american audiences to handle . 
the best part of this extra footage is that gives better understanding of both mathilda's and l ? on's motivations pertaining to later actions involving oldman and his crew of bad cops . 
there's even a previously unseen cameo by the great french actor jean-hugues anglade - star of queen margot , besson's la femme nikita , and killing zoe . 
with these additional scenes replaced , l ? on and matilda's relationship brings you emotionally closer to the film and draws stronger bonds between the characters that were murky in the american version . 
the most ironic thing about the international version of the film is that with the inclusion of the missing scenes , the film becomes primarily a heavy , emotional drama punctuated with big action scenes at the beginning and the end of the film . 
the film betters reflects the serious drama of french cinema but is laced with pieces reflecting the brutality of american cinema . 
my advice to everyone out there is to throw away your copy of the professional , throw down twenty bucks , and pick up this newly restored cinematic masterpiece . 
director/writer : luc besson producer : luc besson , claude besson starring : jean reno , natalie portman , gary oldman , danny aiello 
"
"1","while it was part of former yugoslavia , my country , croatia , used to be almost completely ignored by western films in general . 
words "" croatia "" and "" croatians "" were unheard , even in movies whose plots actually took place on croatian locations . 
the rare exception was the dogs of war , 1980 adaptation of frederick forsyth's bestselling novel , yet that rare occasion only added insult to the injury , by mentioning croatians in most unflattering context . 
in a single line they are referred as a bunch of mean people , probably terrorists , who happen to remove parts of arm dealers' stomachs when they are unsatisfied with the quality of merchandise . 
same line also illustrates the milieu where the movie takes place - dark and violent world of shady international deals with the blurred boundaries between business , politics and crime . 
the movie protagonist , shannon ( christopher walken ) is a mercenary who spent the best years of his life fighting numerous little wars all over the globe . 
his latest job is a intelligence mission for powerful mining corporation that demands information about political climate in west african nation of zangaro . 
shannon arrives in that country only to find oppressive regime of president kimba , bloodthirsty madman whose brutality crushed any opposition and scared almost any westerners away . 
after being arrested and tortured by kimba's secret police , shannon leaves country with a help of british journalist north ( colin blakely ) . 
upon return , he is approached by mining company again , but this time they want him to plan and execute the coup d'etat against kimba . 
shannon reluctantly agrees and assembles small group of his surviving mercenary friends who begin meticulous preparation for another small war . 
thing that separates the dogs of war from conventional action movies , especially those made in 1980s , is its authenticity , almost close to documentary . 
it shouldn't surprise anyone , because the author of the novel , frederick forsyth , made reputation by blending fiction with real life , thus creating interesting , exciting yet very believable plots for his books . 
those plots were also responsible for few very successful 1970s thrillers , and one of them , zinnemman's the day of the jackal , is now considered a classic in that genre . 
this one deals with soldiers of fortune , ancient tradition that was resurrected in great turmoil of 1960s and 1970s and filled the void left by vanishing colonial empires . 
unlike wild geese , that used it as a pretext for conventional action adventure , script by george malko and gary de vore ( author whose death last year became real life mystery ) is serious , and instead of action puts emphasis on characters and prosaic details of their work . 
the movie doesn't try to romanticise the mercenary profession nor glorify mercenaries as some kind of superheroes ; they are simply shown as deadly yet expendable tool of powerful forces with questionable agenda . 
christopher walken played in many movies , yet very rarely we can see him in a leading role . 
his performance in this film perhaps isn't breathtaking , yet adequate . 
his notoriously expressionless face is perfect illustration of the disillusioned , world- weary man whose alienation from the "" normal "" way of life becomes complete and only remaining ideal is loyalty to the shrinking circle of friends . 
although the movie doesn't lack capable actors , their roles are miniature compared with walken's , and only colin blakely as cynical reporter has opportunity to portray his character . 
however , those who look familiar faces would find them plenty in the dogs of war - tom berenger , paul freeman , jo beth williams , victoria tennant ( in brief cameo ) , and biggest surprise is ed o'neill ( of married with children fame ) as shannon's reluctant colleague . 
this was the first major production for john irvin , and it shows why he earned the reputation of capable , yet second class director . 
with the good script he can make very good movie , with the bad script he can make real mess . 
luckily , the dogs of war had a good script . 
irvin's direction was very ascetic and it gave the movie almost documentary feel . 
the only distraction is dramatic music of geoffrey burgon , used on the wrong places . 
in the final battle scene , where we can see mercenaries at work , irvin shows us that modern warfare means superior firepower and tactics , unlike 1980s ramboesque fantasies that rely on macho superheroes . 
unfortunately , by making battle realistic irvin made it somewhat less attractive and his sloppy editing also didn't help . 
but , despite those shortcomings , this movie remains interesting and rare combination of action thriller and gritty , realistic political drama . 
"
"1","the happy bastard's quick movie review 
analyze this 
how does one do a comedy focused on the mob ? 
well , a few years ago , there was a sly little comedy called the freshman , which had marlon brando doing a romp of a send-up of his famous don corleone character and , recently , the utterly stupid ( in a bad way ) movie mafia ! 
failed to really get the joke . 
this time around , however , warner bros . may have gotten it right with analyze this , a movie that hits its targets more than it misses . . . and 
for plenty of reasons . 
the story goes like this . 
a mobster ( robert deniro ) finds himself receiving several panic attacks as of late , fueled by the stress of an upcoming mobster meeting and a near-death following a drive-by shooting . 
it's these attacks that prompt him to hire a psychiatrist ( billy crystal ) who's mostly reluctant to take the mobster's case for two reasons . 
first , of course , he's a mobster , but secondly , he's trying to get married and enjoy a quiet honeymoon with his wife ( lisa kudrow ) and kid . 
and , of course , he can't rest worth for a moment because the mobster's goons are always needing the shrink for something , be it a quick consultation or dream analyzation . 
fortunately , the movie is played out for plenty of laughs . 
director harold ramis ( who also helmed the comedy multiplicity , which wasn't half bad ) keeps the tone peppy and light , even if it's sometimes sprinkled by slight dramatic moments ( shootings can't always be taken for laughs , you know ) . 
deniro does some of his finest comic work since the king of comedy , giving off a somewhat similar performance to his role in goodfellas , but with a bit of a lighter heart . 
 ( a scene where he tries to display his anger over the phone and fails miserably is hilarious . ) 
crystal plays an excellent straight man to deniro's character , uplifting him from such bombs as father's day and my giant . 
kudrow is also a hoot as crystal's wife-to-be , who's on the verge of a breakdown thanks to deniro's presence . 
is the movie perfect ? 
not really , thanks to a simplistic ending and some slightly wasted moments with a character portrayed by chazz palminteri ( he's a comic actor , too , come on , give him some more ! ) , but it is an enjoyable romp that lets deniro do something different but same for a change , taking his dramatic act to a new field of comedy . 
kudos to crystal and kudrow for not just making it his show , either . 
line of the movie : crystal : "" when you said you needed family therapy , this is not the family i had in mind ! "" 
"
"1","this is a film about secrets , some that are innocent like those of a cute little farm girl , frances boyd ( ashley ) . 
others that are between a married couple that is impacting their relationship , like the problems of infertility affecting this upwardly mobile couple , geoffrey gaines ( stephen ramsey ) , the medical researcher working for a big corporation called fex and striving to get a patent for his experiment and become recognized in his field , and his artist wife , lillian ( miriam healy-louie ) , who reluctantly stands behind her husband suppressing her natural artistic tendencies in order to make the marriage work . 
and , still other secrets that have a greater implication for the world and are deadly in a political sense , of science carried out by the big corporations like it was a business run for the bottom line . 
receiving a summer grant to study "" chemo-electric therapy , "" geoffrey and his wife are hoping that a summer spent away from the intensity of the big city will bring back the romance that is dwindling from their marriage and that the casualness of the country atmosphere will give them more time together , as their three-year marriage has become shaky because he is more interested in his work than he is in her . 
he has slyly managed to keep his work as secretive as possible by locking himself in the lab , which is off limits to her , as he secretly goes about conducting experiments on rats and mice , convincing her that what he is doing is to benefit humanity with possible new treatments and cures to illnesses . 
his main argument is , that this is what the public wants , they don't want to hear about how some animals had to die because of these experiments , they just want the benefits of science . 
that he is depicted as a monster creating another monster , much like frankenstein was created , is the argument skewed by the director against his bad science ( science as a business ) as opposed to the good science ( science that cares about the small farmer ) , which is represented by the handsome and almost perfect gentleman , alex vine ( david ) , a young ecologist who chooses to work in the field , trying to get the farmers to go back to organic farming . 
he is hired by the university to monitor the dangers of pesticides and all the chemicals the farmer is almost forced to use to survive financially , as it is doing irreparable harm to him and the consumer because of all the health risks attached to this new way of farming , methods that have just come about in the last thirty- years and are being pushed by the big companies to enhance their profit margins . 
the third view in all this is the artist's , represented by lillian , who points out that the artist's work is shown in public and scrutinized constantly , "" why shouldn't the same be true of the scientist ? "" 
she argues that the artist is the watchdog for the public , questioning what is good or evil in society , something that bad science has completely ignored . 
geoffrey , impatient to get ahead with his research , feels bogged down by the bureaucrats in his firm who fail to provide him with the three chimps he needs to experiment on , as he contacts one of the company's higher ups to argue his case , but decides he can't wait any longer for their help , so he sets an animal trap in the countryside and catches chester , the gorgeous pet dog of frances , a dog that means so much to her and her family because he saved her life . 
while out in the field with the bloodied trapped dog already in the back seat of his car , he is spotted by alex and one of his co-workers , and nervously invites them to dinner with his wife , afraid that alex will spot what he is doing , as he rushes away from the area . 
in the dinner scene that was , unfortunately , flatly done , but was nevertheless the heart of the film , as all the main characters get a chance to speak out from the point of view they represent as they eat meat , a means of getting protein that the radical scientists have eschewed since they became so politically correct about everything . 
the scientists engage in a rational argument , highlighting their different points of view , while lillian reacts in an emotional way , siding mostly with david's view but coming at it from a much different angle . 
it was as if the actors were puppets on strings that the director controlled and they just spewed out their generalized philosophies . 
that the director's point of view is absolutely right , is beside the point . 
the point is that the characters lost their humanity and became one-dimensional characters . 
geoffrey was likened to a hideous monster , alex vine was likened to his last name , the one who holds fast to the ground ensuring that the plant has stability , while lillian was likened to the muse of poetry and art , the inspiration for goodness and beauty . 
alex has been spending a lot of time together with lillian , as these two seem to share the same views and are physically attracted to each other , but when the time is ripe for an affair to take place between them , lillian changes her mind and decides not to go up to alex's apartment . 
geoffrey is already suspicious of alex and considers him an enemy , and the marriage seems to be coming apart and all his cunning tricks to possess her are no longer working , as it is now impossible to see any good in him and there becomes no reason why she would remain with him . 
the relationship has disintegrated way beyond the point of her just feeling lonely . 
the dog is discovered by alex and her in a deplorable state after geoffrey is seen by them electrically shocking it , and mercifully the dog dies . 
the only thing left for her to do is walk out of the marriage , but she also fails to respond to david's loving gesture for her to stay with him , instead opting to head back to the city . 
the farmer whose dog was tortured to death comes into the scientist's lab and knocks him cold while he was in the middle of a phone conversation with one of the higher-ups who told him all the animals he needs are on the way . 
what is progress ? 
what can one expect out of life ? 
is the small farmer about to become extinct ? 
the answers to these questions can best be answered by either good science or art , which are both closely related to the american natives vision of a world entrusted to mankind so that he can respect it and take care of it and enrich it with his creations to benefit mankind in a peaceful way . 
that this work fails to be subtle and polarizes opinions , leaving no room for deeper arguments , is the shame of this decent and smart film , that tried so hard to say what it felt it had to say but said it so loudly without trusting its audience to catch on to its message by not making everything seem so black and white . 
no telling said a lot about the harmful trends it sees science going in ; it probably said too much and would have been better off if its vision was more poetical and less didactic . 
there is something about listening to a lecture that turns off the rebel in me , as i don't like being hit in the head with the truth but prefer to have it presented in the form that leads to inspiration or told metaphorically . 
that is not to say that i found the film without considerable merit , that inspite of its shortcomings , it was worth seeing because of its visual statements , though they were also not too subtle , they were at least effective in setting up the intense mood that the film needed to show that there is a mental war going on currently , of those who believe one way is right and others who differ with them , and that anyone who is neutral must be considered an enemy because of their indifference . 
the stakes in this ecological struggle are that high . 
perhaps the most powerful visual statement in the film , was the dead cow from pesticides shown in the opening scene . 
it was the image that lillian spent her time painting all summer and had the same affect for her as did the animal faces in picasso's guernica had for him . 
both artists envisioned the horrors that man could do against the world , and represented this unspoken pain on the faces of the animals so that anyone who cares to really see what is going on , will not mistake which side of the fence he or she should be on . 
the pain that lillian feels , as she forgets about her desires to raise a family , and she stares at her painting of the cow and the song , "" make the world go away "" blares out from the background , after she has learned that frances' beautiful and loving dog has been brutalized by her monster of a husband , all in the name of science , had a raw power to it that personalizes the dangers of bad science . 
perhaps , the most pertinent question the film asks , requires an answer that must be resolved by the farmers and the consumers who are most caught in the changing world and its new way of doing business , as the question becomes , can science be happily married with art ? 
"
"1","this british import follows the ( mis- ) adventures of a group of heroin crazed scottish youths . 
there is marc renton ( who narrates ) , spud ( the dim-witted one ) sick boy ( the sean connery obsessive ) , and begbee ( the violence obsessive ) . 
powered by a top rate , but not top name soundtrack ( iggy pop , sleeper , elastica , lou reed . . . ) the film follows renton who gets clean , gets back into heroin and gets clean again . 
some of the wit in this movie is sharp and pulp fiction-esque , and some is just dumb & dumber gross ( the bed sheets ) and stupid ( the bb gun ) although the film starts out on a comic note , it takes a sharp term in the middle , and becomes almost depressing . 
the film is based on an irving welsh novel bearing the same title . 
i can honestly say that this is one of the best movies i have ever seen . 
it is an obscure gem that has been over shadowed in the us by such movies as mission impossible and id4 . 
the film is hard to follow with the heavy accents of the actors . 
this is a very original film , as far as films go today . 
it definetly deserves multiple viewings ( partly because of the slang and accents ) jeremy dennison mr . orange@centuryinter . net 
"
"1","you may not have heard of lucas , or if you have , you might not think much of it . 
probably because it stars corey haim , or maybe because it's about a little geek who collects insects , or maybe because it doesn't feature slick one-liners or the chart topping soundtrack albums that were almost a requirement for teen films in the 80's . 
however , you have been missing out on a true masterpeice , the best film of 1986 , and the best film about adolescent life ever made . 
corey haim stars as lucas bligh , a tiny 14 year old with scruffy hair , thick glasses , and an interest in insects and other outdoor life . 
one day he stops by the tennis courts and sees what must be an angel to him . 
her name is maggie , a 16 year old who certainly is a beauty , with lovely red hair and a sweet , innocent complexion . 
maggie seems to be a little disturbed by this little kid watching her , but somehow he interests her , and soon they are talking and getting to know one another . 
they gradually become good friends , and spend the summer together doing various things , such as studying insects ( namely locusts , who come out of hiding once every 17 years ) , playing tennis , and listening to a symphony orchestra through a manhole cover . 
lucas is obviously in love with maggie , and while she is charmed by him , it's clear that she would never consider him anything more than a very good friend . 
this is not clear to lucas , however . 
he still beleives that maggie is his soulmate , and he dreads the impending start of school because he knows what's about to happen . 
we soon find out why in a painful scene where lucas is humiliated by the jocks during a pep rally . 
they throw him on stage , right in front of his beloved maggie . 
surprisingly , he turns the tables on the jocks with some clowning around , but he takes it too far , and is embarassed in front of the entire school . 
the next scene is brilliant . 
maggie follows lucas outside of the pep rally . 
she tries to talk to him as if nothing happened . 
he rails back against her , in a cruel unfair fashion . 
in lesser movies this would've turned into a confrontation between the two characters . 
but maggie is written smarter than that . 
she understands what lucas is feeling and knows exactly what to say to console him . 
next we are introduced to another great character named cappie ( charlie sheen ) . 
he is a jock with a typical cheerleader girlfriend . 
what's interesting about him is that he sticks up for lucas and protects him from the other jocks . 
of course anyone with a brain can tell what's gonna happen next . 
cappie will cause conflict in maggie and lucas' relationship . 
this begins in classic scene in the school laundry room when cappie and maggie are alone . 
she's been assigned to show him how to operate the washer/dryer so he can clean his shirt . 
maggie is charmed by cappie's tender undertsanding demeanor , not to mention his shirtless body . 
this scene is so delicate and sweet , but cappie still has a girlfriend , preventing either one from acting on their desires . 
desperately trying to puncture the tension , cappie begins to kick basketballs around the room . 
it's not long before cappie does break up with his girlfriend ( in the films only subpar scene ) . 
lucas finally figures out what's going on when he tries to pick maggie up for the dance . 
this causes him to take severe actions to prove himself to maggie and himself , such as try out for the football team . 
the last third of the film revolves around this attempt . 
while the idea seems cliched , the way it is executed is not . 
there are many surprises during the last half hour which lead to an ending so emotionally involving it should make the most heartless of cynics get choked up . 
dave grusin's memorable score , played at the perfect moments , certainly helps . 
lucas is filled with great performances . 
forget everything you know about corey haim . 
back in 1986 he had talent , and that is proven here as he delivers a perfect fully 3-dimensional performance filled with anger , humor , and pain . 
kerri green is very appealing as maggie , showing us why she cares about lucas so much and why he is so attracted to her . 
sheen's cappie is almost too good to be true , but sheen makes him beleivable , especially when he explains the reason why he protects lucas . 
there are other wonderful minor characters such as ciro popitti's ben , a friend of lucas , whose diminutive stature does not mean he will take crap from the jocks . 
also turning up in a few key scenes is winona ryder as rina , the girl who admires lucas from afar . 
when people talk about the great teen angst films of the 80s , you hear john hughes this and john hughes that . 
lucas seems to be lost among the crowd of his so-called classics . 
but hopefully , like with heathers and say anything , lucas can begin to find it's own loyal following and help people realize there were more to the 80s than anthony michael hall and molly ringwald . 
it deserves more than that , but i don't want to be greedy . 
"
"1","in arguably the most anticipated movie this century , george lucas has achieved a very mixed reaction to a sure blockbuster . 
despite the fact the script and plot is a bit of a let down , the entire movie on the whole can be considered a milestone in technical excellence , in the sound and special effects department . 
in terms of characters , by far the most outstanding and interesting is queen amidala ( natalie portman ) , whose mature performance far exceeds her tender 14 years of age . 
she is one ? hot' babe who defines true ? woman leadership' . 
she not only has a presence , but knows how to take command of the situation and save her planet from ruination . 
no thanks to the jedi knights who although led by the force , lack leadership qualities in terms of thinking up a plan to do anything . 
the young obi-wan kenobi ( ewan mcgregor ) who has a bad hair day in every scene , gets to kill a bad guy in the end , but lacks a love interest to make him a desirable sort of hero . 
in fact all the jedi knight are a bit asexual - there must be something about the force which makes them all hermits and loners . 
i mean it would be interesting to see yoda's girlfriend for a change , if he has one . 
not much better is qui-gon jinn ( liam neeson ) who mostly broods , and has a better hair do than obi-wan , but only to find the young anakin skywalker and make the biggest mistake of his life . 
also fascinating is george lucas ? metoclorian' theory , which claims that micro-organisms live within our cells and tie us to the fabric of the universe . 
and it is the high concentrations of these organisms in an individual which make them particularly powerful in the force . 
more humerous are the claims to the immaculate conception of darth vader , no doubt a concept stolen from the christian faith , except there will be no christmas to celebrate the birth of this dark emissary of the force . 
overall an experience which is not to be missed because of the very fact that it's predecessor almost command a viewing of this inferior successor . 
by all means not the pinnacle of the star wars phenomena but an adequate addition to the clan . 
watch out for the next one , it should be one steamy encounter between queen amidala and anakin skywalker - who i believe should be portrayed by ? leonardo di caprio . 
"
"1","felix ( sami bouajila , "" the siege "" ) lives a contented life with his boyfriend daniel ( pierre-loup rajot ) in the little town of dieppe in northern france . 
when he is laid off from his job , after discovering the address of the father who abandoned him before he was born , he decides to journey to marseilles , in the south , to find the man he never met in "" the adventures of felix . "" 
writers/directors olivier ducastel and jacques martineau made their debut with the musical comedy "" jeanne and the perfect guy , "" embracing that typically american genre . 
their second effort , "" the adventures of felix , "" once again borrows from america with a tale of a young man who hits the road to find himself . 
felix is happy with his life in dieppe , but when the ferry company he works for falls prey to the economics of the chunnel , he is out of a job and at loose ends . 
when he goes through his late mother's papers he learns that the father he never knew is living in marseilles , hundreds of miles away . 
felix makes the snap decision to journey to the south , puts together a supply of "" cocktails "" for his hiv virus , kisses daniel goodbye and heads off on foot . 
he refuses to use trains and wants to avoid big cities as he hitchhikes across france to find his destiny . 
along the way , a series of chance encounters with various strangers teaches felix that family is not always made up of blood relations . 
on the road , he witnesses a race-related mugging that turns into murder and , frightened for his own safety , runs away without telling the police . 
following this harrowing experience , he has his first chance meeting that begins the unconscious construction of his ideal family . 
his journey brings him to rouen , and the film's first title section , "" my little brother , "" where he meets jules , a young art student who becomes smitten with felix . 
they steal a car and develop a chaste , brotherly affection before felix must move on . 
he next meets elderly mathilde ( patachou ) , in the chapter titled "" my grandmother , "" and soon learns that she , too , has a fondness for the same tv soap opera that felix has grown addicted to . 
she wants him to stay with her , but he must continue on his way to find his father . 
in the weakest chapter of felix's road trip , titled "" my cousin , "" he meets a railroad worker ( philippe garziano ) and has a brief sexual encounter before heading off , once again , toward marseilles . 
he next helps a stranded lady motorist , isabelle ( ariane ascaride ) , and shags a ride with her and her three kids ( each with a different daddy ) in the sequence titled "" my sister . "" 
he is torn by the inner turmoil of not going to the police about the murder he witnessed and isabelle comforts him just as a sister would . 
on the final leg of the journey titled "" my father , "" he meets an older man , a fisherman ( maurice benichou ) , who enlightens him about the real facts of life and family while they fly felix's kite , just like a father and son . 
 "" the adventures of felix "" has a number of things going for it as we follow felix on his journey of discovery . 
first and foremost is the charming performance by sami bouajila as felix . 
he is a likable guy , fighting his hiv with his doses of "" cocktails , "" and lights up the screen as he makes the long walk , often with dance and song , to find his father and himself . 
as he encounters each member of his new family , promising each that he will send a postcard when he arrives at his final destination , he grows a little bit more spiritually and emotionally . 
bouajila does a terrific job holding center stage on the screen . 
the cast of characters making up felix's new-found family are nearly as charming as the star , each in their own way . 
patachou , especially , is wonderful as the grandma character and a kindred spirit to felix . 
ariane ascaride , along with her kids , gives a perf that really makes you think of her as the sister that the young man never had . 
only the "" cousin "" chapter lacks the emotional depth of the rest and feels like a perfunctory addition to felix's "" family . "" 
 "" the adventures of felix "" does not reinvent the road movie , but it does provide a charismatic telling of a young man's journey to find himself and , to his surprise , his discovery is dramatically different than he expected at the beginning . 
it helps that cinematographer matthieu poirot-delpech's crisp lensing compliments the story perfectly as felix moves across the french countryside . 
i give it a b+ . 
"
"1","i know that "" funnest "" isn't a word . 
 "" fun "" is a noun , and therefore cannot be conjugated like an adjective . 
but that's the word that came to me right after viewing "" chicken run . "" 
no wonder : this is the kind of movie that reduces you to childish expressions , like "" that was the funnest movie i've ever seen ! "" 
so to hell with webster's -- "" chicken run "" is one of the funnest movies i've seen in a while . 
i can't remember the last time i've seen anything funner . 
the chickens at tweedy's farm are up to something . 
living in a concentration camp-like atmosphere , they are led by one plucky hen called ginger ( voice of julia sawalha ) who continually comes up with plans for escape -- and always gets caught , subsequently spending day after day in the coal box . 
one night , a brash american rooster flies in over the fence , calling himself rocky ( mel gibson ) , famous flying rooster and circus performer . 
rocky promises to teach the chickens how to fly , and the situation grows more desperate as the nefarious mrs . tweedy ( miranda richardson ) decides to abandon the farm's egg-selling plan for a pie-selling plan . 
she orders a huge pie-making machine , cackling , "" chickens go in ; pies come out . "" 
what sort of pies ? 
chicken pies , of course . 
co-director nick park and his studio , aardman animation , produced three oscar-winning short films : "" creature comforts , "" "" the wrong trousers , "" and "" a close shave . "" 
the latter two were the second and third installments of a trilogy starring the delightful team wallace & gromit , a man and his dog famous for getting themselves into increasingly peculiar adventures . 
part of what made the "" wallace "" films brilliantly entertaining was park's uncanny ability to make an old story seem new . 
 "" the wrong trousers , "" for example , pulled out a lot of old hitchcockian suspense tricks , and "" a close shave "" owed a great deal of inspiration to classic detective stories . 
but in the hands of park and his team , the stories felt fresh and inspired , and not the least bit contrived . 
now teaming with co-director peter lord , park has created a similar creature in "" chicken run . "" 
the plot is largely lifted from "" the great escape "" ( watch for a quick reference to the ball-bouncing scene ) , with some spielberg-inspired action sequences providing the excitement . 
thing is , the film doesn't feel like it's been lifted from somewhere else ; "" chicken run "" feels fresh , alive , like nothing else ever done . 
part of it is the original idea : who in the world came up with the idea to make a prisoners-of-war movie starring chickens ? 
park and lord milk the incongruity for all it's worth : the characters treat their situation as if it were dead serious , and to them , it is . 
but they're * chickens * , so it's funny to us . 
another thing that helps "" chicken run "" ( and most of park's films ) succeed is the animators' subtle way of giving nods to the very films they're cribbing . 
there are references to "" the great escape , "" obviously , and "" stalag 17 . "" 
the chase sequence inside the chicken grinder parodies both "" raiders of the lost ark "" and "" indiana jones and the temple of doom . "" 
there's even a nod to "" the blues brothers , "" if you can believe it , and the filmmakers even get in a little light-hearted ribbing at the expense of their star voice actor , taking a couple of very subtle jabs at mel gibson's nationality and film history . 
the "" braveheart "" reference is a hoot if you catch it . 
when you consider just how fine a line resides between a funny parody and a redundant one , "" chicken run "" is downright brilliant in its execution . 
consider this : since july of last year , i've seen dozens upon dozens of "" blair witch project "" parodies , on television , on the radio , and online . 
out of all those , maybe one or two were amusing , the rest tiresome . 
why ? 
because once you got past the thought that "" they're parodying that 'blair witch' movie , "" most of the parodies had nothing to offer -- no insight , no original idea , no greater purpose . 
they were only funny if you had seen the movie ; otherwise , you got nothing . 
conversely , "" chicken run "" doesn't lean on its parodies -- the film references are never the sole focus of any scene . 
if you've never seen "" indiana jones , "" the chase sequence is still fun . 
even if you have no idea who mel gibson is , rocky remains an interesting character . 
park , lord , and screenwriter karey kirkpatrick realize that an audience does not need a parody shoved in their faces before it's understood , and as a result , "" chicken run "" is filled with visual and verbal jabs that are never too obvious , but not quite vague either . 
enjoyment of this movie doesn't require knowledge of film history , but if you've got it , "" chicken run "" is that much richer . 
the voice cast turns in uniformly lively performances , and the characters they play are given so many subtle nuances that it's hard not to fall in love with every one of them . 
ginger is perfect , spunky and opinionated , but with a soft heart that forbids her to leave her companions behind , and julia sawalha ( known as the cute mousy girl on "" absolutely fabulous "" ) nails it . 
she has warm , human chemistry with gibson , whose rocky hides his personal doubt under a brash gung-ho veneer . 
the characters' inevitable romance doesn't feel contrived , but sweet . 
poor mr . tweedy ( tony haygarth ) suspects the chickens are organizing in some way , but his limited intellect prevents him from figuring things out , and his overbearing wife certainly isn't any help . 
jane horrocks delivers a lovely voice characterization as tragically optimistic babs ( a hen that runs away with most of the best one-liners , all while perpetually crocheting a sweater ) , and two supply-trading rats that seem to have walked straight out of a monty python sketch nearly steal the show during the lively central swing-dancing sequence . 
they even come up with an inspired riff on something that's baffled scholars and theologians alike for decades : the chicken vs . egg dilemma . 
one might have expected this inevitable joke to come off as wearisome , but as with most of "" chicken run , "" it comes as a delightful surprise . 
the film manages to cross all barriers ; it should be accessible to both children and adults , brits and yanks , rats and chickens . 
the animation is first-rate . 
remember that this was all done the old-fashioned way , with actual humans moving clay figurines around on a tiny set bit by painstaking bit , and you see just how truly remarkable "" chicken run "" really is . 
this movie possesses that same quality that makes pixar studios' animation great : precise and unwavering attention to detail . 
as in such top-notch family fare as "" a bug's life "" or "" toy story 2 , "" "" chicken run "" has something to offer in nearly every frame . 
certainly a passive viewer can enjoy it as a straightforward story with a worthwhile moral and some surprisingly touching scenes , but a active , attentive viewers will enjoy it even more because they'll catch all the details . 
anyway , the movie's just a boatload of fun . 
funnest damn movie i've seen all year . 
"
"1","after the press screening of "" moulin rouge , "" i stood in the lobby of the theater listening to the reactions of my friends and colleagues . 
everyone seemed a bit numb , understandable after sitting through a barrage of often-incongruous sounds and images . 
a pal of mine simply said that he loved the film and could hardly wait to take his wife to see it . 
another enthusiast immediately began to analyze the production , while a woman who flat-out hated the movie gave him the skunk eye . 
when one fellow quietly stated "" i've never really been a fan of musicals , "" the statement surprised me because , even though the story is told almost completely through song , i didn't think of it as a musical . 
there is so much going on in "" moulin rouge "" that "" musical "" seems too small a term to cover it . 
 "" moulin rouge "" is the kind of creation that sends critics scurrying off to the big tub o' adjectives in search of proper words to describe the experience . 
australian director baz luhrmann , the man behind "" strictly ballroom "" and "" romeo + juliet , "" fills the heads of viewers with unique camerawork , opulent imagery and songs ranging from "" the sound of music "" to "" smells like teen spirit . "" 
sumptuous and beautiful , vulgar and overdone , "" moulin rogue "" travels through the looking glass while an ethereal stereo loaded with 50 years worth of catchy tunes operates on the "" random "" setting . 
oh , and it has a story as well . 
 "" it was 1899 , the summer of love . . . 
 "" christian ( ewan mcgregor ) is a penniless young writer newly arrived in paris , "" to write about truth , beauty , freedom and love , "" where he encounters a group of bohemians , led by henri de toulouse-lautrec ( john leguizamo ) . 
christian meets satine ( nicole kidman ) , a courtesan from the legendary moulin rogue , and his world transforms from black and white to technicolor . 
at once fragile and vivacious , the dazzling red-haired woman sweeps him off his feet without even trying . 
christian instantly falls in love with her and satine finds herself smitten with him as well , which is quite a hindrance for someone in her profession . 
working with the bohemians and moulin rogue impresario harold zidler ( jim broadbent ) , christian writes an opus modestly named "" spectacular spectacular . "" 
zidler quickly finds a backer , the wealthy duke of monroth ( richard roxburgh ) , but there's a catch ? the duke also wants the hand of the fair satine . 
as if all that isn't enough , satine has a cough , and while a cough in the real world probably indicates a cold , it rarely turns out to be anything that simple in movie land . 
like a teeter-totter , "" moulin rogue "" moves up and down between the ridiculous and the sublime . 
one of the loveliest moments comes as christine and satine commune outdoors at night , becoming part of a defiantly unrealistic parisian cityscape straight from a book of fairy tales . 
together they dance , while serenaded by the man in the moon ( alessandro safina provides the vocals ) , apparently transported from the classic georges m ? li ? s silent film to guard the nocturnal sky . 
other scenes merely traffic in everything-and-the-kitchen-sink overload . 
the cavorting of toulouse-lautrec and his comrades gets strained at times and some of their overt comedy , accompanied by cartoon sound effects , is overly reminiscent of the frenzied farce that sitcoms like "" bewitched "" beat into the ground . 
of course , sensory overload was exactly what baz luhrmann had in mind . 
 "" we never heard from baz to turn it down , "" one of the actors told the los angeles times . 
 "" it was always , 'more ! 
more ! ' "" 
the director even sent a note to his cast reading , "" i dare you to make me say you've gone too far . "" 
the musical numbers reflect his attitude . 
one knockout piece , the "" elephant love medley , "" incorporates the beatles' "" all you need is love , "" u2's "" in the name of love , "" dolly parton's "" i will always love you "" and elton john and bernie taupin's "" your song . "" 
need more ? 
how about "" diamonds are a girl's best friend "" spiced with portions of "" material girl ? "" 
luhrmann's cast offers a wide variety of approaches that , together , add up to something messy , but often wonderful . 
ewan mcgregor is extremely likable as christian , emphasizing the sincerity of the love-struck poet . 
mcgregor's singing voice is robust and adds vigor at just the right moments . 
once labeled the "" ice queen , "" nicole kidman melts that characterization with a sizzling , yet tender , performance . 
she handles the songs adroitly , although her voice sounds a bit thin in the upper range . 
veteran character actor jim broadbent is suitably larger than life as ringmaster zidler ? wait until you see him perform "" like a virgin . "" 
as the buffoonish duke , richard roxburgh proves to be the film's weakest link , although i'm sure he was simply following instructions . 
i suspect "" moulin rogue "" will be one of those love-it-or-hate-it films . 
while i didn't completely love it , i most certainly liked it a lot . 
over the course of a year , i see well over 300 movies , and most of them look like xeroxes of each other . 
 "" moulin rogue "" is an original , and an original , even a flawed one , is a thing to be cherished . 
"
"1"," "" living out loud , "" is the type of motion picture we don't often see : it is a film about mature , intelligent adults , instead of the usual american film , in which children basically dress up in grown-up clothing and parade around acting like immature seven-year-olds . 
judith ( holly hunter ) , a fortysomething living in new york city , has been having a difficult time with life lately . 
she is extremely depressed about her recent divorce to her husband ( martin donovan ) , who had been cheating on her . 
she cannot sleep , haunted by terrible memories , often imagines off-the-wall things to try and make the world seem like a better place , and the only place she can really go to feel happy is to hear one of her favorite singers , liz bailey ( queen latifah ) , perform at a local club . 
judith's life does start to brighten a little when , one night when she gets home to her apartment late , strikes up a conversation with the elevator operator , pat ( danny devito ) , a lonely man in his fifties whom has lost his daughter recently . 
both of them create a sort of emotional connection with each other , seeking comfort with the other person , but while pat starts to form a deep love for her , judith only wants to remain friends . 
 "" living out loud , "" which was written by richard lagravenese ( "" the bridges of madison county "" ) , who is also making his directing debut here , is a wonderful film from beginning to end , one that is honest , genuinely funny , and poignant . 
the three central characters , that of judith , pat , and liz , are all written to be free-thinking , complex human beings , and are all likable , but flawed , people who are constantly interesting , as is the film itself . 
one highly original element of the film is that judith occasionally imagines things occuring in her mind in the way she wishes they would happen . 
sometimes it results in comedy , and sometimes it turns out to be subtle and truly touching . 
one sequence that stands out is when judith is at a restaurant by herself , reading a novel . 
an older woman comes over to her , mentions that that is a great book she is reading , and then goes over to join her own friends . 
as the woman sits down , she looks over to see judith by herself , and motions for her to come join them . 
instantly , we realize this was simply in judith's mind , as we see the same woman just sit down at the table and begin talking to her friends . 
holly hunter and danny devito both give the performances of their careers here . 
hunter , of course , was brilliant in 1993's "" the piano , "" for which she won an academy award , but in this film she is even better , i think . 
she finds the right note for each scene and holds it . 
and devito has never had such a humanistic role before , which i was surprised about . 
usually he is used as the butt of a joke , or as a caricature , but in this film , has a living-and-breathing , sympathetic person to play . 
topping it all off is latifah , also a singer , who is quickly turning into a respectable actress herself , and has a juicy , natural supporting role as , in some ways , judith's role model . 
another joy of the film is that it does not somehow form a contrived , "" happy "" ending , but , in staying with its realistic tone , manages to be upbeat , but truthful . 
the last shot is an especially powerful image . 
nothing is said , but just the image of someone walking down a sidewalk says it all . 
the relationship that results between judith and pat is true-to-life and sincere . 
as we watch these two people talk , and get to know each other , all that we wish for them both is to be happy , even if that does not include for them to become romantically involved . 
and as , "" living out loud , "" which is one of the best films of the year , proves , sometimes a friendship is the strongest bond anyone could possibly ask for . 
"
"1","`oh behave ! 
felicity shagwell is one shagadellic babe . 
do i make your horny ? 
female fembots with breasts that require gun controlling . 
anything that resembles bananas and two balls of icecream . 
the nut-biting finale between mini me and austin . 
all that body hair is a real turn on , it's a pity more leading men don't wear it on screen . 
anything that vaguely resembles sausages and eggs . 
fat bastard . 
the love scene between felicity and fat bastard , that redefines sex . 
the wrongly implied love scene in the tent that redefines anal sex . 
the love scene between austin and ivana humpalot , that redefines chess and oral sex . 
the love scene between dr . evil and frau farbissina , that redefines weird sex . 
the love affair between austin and felicity , that does not happen , because his mojo goes missing . 
the relationship between dr evil , himself and mini me which redefines a solo love affair . 
the unique relationship between dr evil and his son scott www . com . zip , that says a lot about our relationship with our children nowadays . 
weanies , johnny , richard , dick etc . ' 
this movie is every bit as silly and crazy as the first . 
there are moments that will make your sick , which are probably best forgotten , but overall mike myers has redefined what it means to be an international spy and leading man . 
"
"1","written by john grisham and robert altman ( as al hayes ) 
directed by robert altman 
some time ago , a young director was given the opportunity to direct the screen version of a popular novel . 
the novel was a summer smash , topping best-seller lists across the country and already drawing speculation as to which popular actors of the day might play the leads . 
the only problem : the novel wasn't very good . 
it was far more pulp than pulitzer . 
but the director realized that , no matter how pedestrian the prose , this book really grabbed people - that the author , while not a great writer , was a fantastic storyteller . 
so he took on the project , convinced he could make something happen on screen . 
the director ? 
francis ford coppola . 
the book , of course , was mario puzo's the godfather . 
the rest , as they say in showbiz , was history . 
by bringing up the godfather , i don't mean to suggest that robert altman's the gingerbread man is destined for that level of greatness . 
but the parallel does suggest that it is possible to create great cinema from questionable source material . 
can you get any more questionable than john grisham ? 
depends on whom you ask . 
but there's no question that grisham's work grabs people . 
like puzo , grisham is a better storyteller than a writer - unlike fellow hack michael crichton , who is a good idea man but who can't tell a well-constructed story from a can of spam . 
so something in grisham's unpublished story of a cocky savannah lawyer who gets involved in a deadly family squabble drew the attention of robert altman , who at 73 years old remains one of america's greatest living filmmakers . 
the result is a gripping thriller that , while falling short of classic cinema , deserves its place in the altman canon . 
>from its opening shot to the closing credits , the gingerbread man is permeated with a sense of dread , with a fear of the natural destructive forces of the universe . 
this terrific sense of mood is a classic altman touch . 
witness said opening shot : we see an aerial view of coastal georgia with its writhing , undulating landscape while the soundtrack grumbles ominously in our ear . 
we roll over the hills into the town of savannah , then zoom in close on a red sports car speeding over a bridge while its driver chatters oblivious on his cell phone . 
right away we know that the driver of that car is in for a few surprises . 
pay attention , boys and girls - this shot was not conceived by john grisham , but by altman . 
this is what a great director can do for questionable source material . 
the sports car belongs to rick magruder ( kenneth branagh ) , the aforementioned hotshot attorney who specializes in police brutality cases . 
magruder has just won a high profile case and celebrates that night with a catered party at his office . 
outside after the party he meets one of the waitresses , mallory doss ( embeth davidzt ) , just as she realizes her car has been stolen . 
driven by southern chivalry , a driving rainstorm and his unspoken attraction to the fragile waitress , magruder offers her a ride home . 
there he learns more about mallory's life than he bargained for . 
her car was stolen by her schizophrenic father dixon ( robert duvall ) , a ted kyzynski-style whacko who has been stalking and terrorizing his own daughter . 
magruder , perhaps influenced by mallory's decision to strip off her wet clothes in front of him , is sympathetic to her plight , and offers to help her get her father committed - right after he sleeps with her , of course . 
this simple offer of help leads magruder down a dangerous path with a black end . 
he succeeds in having dixon incarcerated in a mental hospital , and for a moment all appears well . 
but then dixon's crack team of homeless commandos bust him out of the lockup - and suddenly magruder finds himself , mallory and his own children in danger . 
the cops won't lift a finger to help a liberal attorney . 
his only allies are his faithful assistant lois ( daryl hannah ) and his bumbling private-eye sidekick clyde ( robert downey jr ) . 
if this predicament wasn't bad enough , hurricane geraldo is bearing down on savannah and throwing the world into chaos . 
altman may provide the atmosphere , but branagh's performance holds the gingerbread man together . 
an accomplished actor when he isn't directing himself in vanity productions , branagh does a fine job of making rick a sympathetic hero while casting doubt upon his motives . 
is his offer of help to mallory an act of kindness , or of egotism ? 
magruder is so sure of his place in the world that he never considers that he has bitten off more than he can chew until he has to swallow it - and by then it's too late . 
as the plot unfolds , magruder learns that none of us are as secure as we think we are . 
and life is never so bad that it can't get worse . 
if you're familiar with altman's work , you'll recognize several of his signature techniques . 
characters are not introduced in establishing shots , but rather are allowed to wander in the background of scenes until their importance becomes apparent . 
crucial scenes are shot from the outside through windows , making the audience unwitting voyeurs of the action . 
dialog overlaps and the actors seem to slip naturally into an improvisational style . 
and of course there's my favorite altman technique - the obligatory nude actress shot . 
thanks to altman , here are some of the actresses i've had the pleasure of seeing naked : sally kellerman , julianne moore , madeline stowe , even frances mcdormand . 
and now i can add embeth davidtz , who looks quite healthy in the altogether . 
the naked actress shot has become as ubiquitous to the altman film as the director cameo was to the hitchcock film . 
is it old-school sexism , or a clever in-joke ? 
you be the judge . 
but back to the picture at hand . 
in the hands of a mere mortal , the gingerbread man would have been a routine thriller , no better or worse than the countless others we've all endured . 
in the hands of a master like altman , it becomes an exercise in existential doom , in its own way far more successful than scorsese's cape fear remake , which tried for the same result . 
what may prevent it from enduring with altman's greatest work is a weak third act - in fact , there really is no third act in grisham's story , so it appears that altman had to throw in the hurricane just to jazz things up . 
but there are true moments of riveting suspense , and great performances by branagh , davidzt and downey jr - more than enough to see you through . 
that polygram so hated this picture that they tried to steal final cut from altman , and then buried the marketing campaign when he won it back , should tell you how utterly clueless of quality most studios are . 
they probably wanted it to look more like a time to kill . 
and that , my friends , should make you very afraid . 
"
"1","october sky is a rare oddity in cinema : a self-proclaimed "" uplifting "" film that is actually uplifting ! 
based on the autobiographical book by homer hickam , rocket boys , october sky tells the struggle of four boys reaching for their dream . 
it's 1957 , and for the boys of coalwood , west virginia , there's not much hope of a rosy future . 
coalwood is a coal mining town , and , except for the few lucky ones who manage to escape on a football scholarship , most of coalwood's boys are destined to work in the mine . 
but , in october 1957 , an event happens that sparks one boy to dream . 
the launch of the soviet satellite sputnik sets homer hickam ( jake gyllenhaal ) to dream a future of rocketry and space travel . 
of course , homer's parents ( chris cooper and natalie canderday ) aren't quite sure what to make of their son's unusual interests . 
homer gets his strongest encouragement from miss riley ( laura dern ) , a teacher in his school who also informs him about the scholarships offered to the winners of a national science fair . 
and so , with stars in his eyes , and thoughts of scholarships in his head , homer enlists the help of three other boys ( william lee scott , chad lindberg and chris owen ) and begins to build a rocket . 
but , do these four backwoods boys even have the slightest hope of escaping their destiny ? 
there is a lot that could have gone wrong with october sky . 
nearly every sequence flirts with becoming syrupy and cliched . 
however , miraculously , october sky avoids nearly all of these pitfalls , making the exact right moves at the exact right times . 
a film emerges which manages to be powerful and moving without slipping into the gauzy haze of nostalgia or sliding down the sugarry slope of sappiness . 
jake gyllenhaal is outstanding as the kid at the center of this film . 
>from the outset of the film , he is immediately likable , and never seems too corny or brainy as to alienate the audience . 
unfortunately , while october sky focuses on homer , the other three kids get the short end of the stick . 
they remain little more than placeholders reading "" insert friend here "" . 
of the adults in the film , chris cooper is the most fully realized character . 
the film never paints him as merely the villainous parent standing in the way of his child's dreams , but , instead , shows the multihued portrait of a man who wants the best for his family and town , but is too stubborn to realize what that is . 
director joe johnson deserves much credit for successfully navigating the many obstacles that october sky manages to dodge . 
however , there are still a few occasions when he allows things to proceed just a step too far . 
scenes which were natural and inspiring start to become contrived and artificial . 
however , these lapses are minimal , and johnson quickly steers the movie back on course . 
the problem with many so-called "" uplifting "" films is that they attempt to force their mediciney goodness down your throat . 
october sky never resorts to that level , and yet , manages to become a truly uplifting film purely on its own merits . 
"
"1","this three hour movie opens up with a view of singer/guitar player/musician/composer frank zappa rehearsing with his fellow band members . 
all the rest displays a compilation of footage , mostly from the concert at the palladium in new york city , halloween 1979 . 
other footage shows backstage foolishness , and amazing clay animation by bruce bickford . 
the performance of "" titties and beer "" played in this movie is very entertaining , with drummer terry bozzio supplying the voice of the devil . 
frank's guitar solos outdo any van halen or hendrix i've ever heard . 
bruce bickford's outlandish clay animation is that beyond belief with zooms , morphings , etc . and actually , it doesn't even look like clay , it looks like meat . 
"
"1","while watching boiler room , i was constantly reminded of last year's masterpiece fight club . 
both films consist of a predominately male cast . 
both films follow young men as they illicitly fight the traditional system for their own desires . 
and both films are seen through the eyes of one narrator , who eventually realizes that these men have to be stopped . 
while boiler room writer/director ben younger does not get his point across as well as david fincher does for fight club , he does contribute another impressive work to a series of films aiming to represent the new generation . 
a generation which has seen the internet prosper and where everyone wants to be a millionaire . 
paying homage to oliver stone's 1987 classic wall street , younger is almost modernizing the tale by using younger , hipper actors to play the greedy villains as opposed to the older , more experienced types . 
as is true in real life , younger minds are becoming richer and richer from their knowledge of more standard technology . 
boiler room dismisses the notion of ingenuity and shows that greed and desire for power come in all ages . 
another similarity with fight club is that both films are not action flicks . 
some people are convinced that an all-male cast automatically means there must be gory violence , here is proof that this is not true . 
if you want to see an action movie starring ben affleck , go see reindeer games this weekend . 
if you want to see a smart , insightful film with excellent acting and a clever script , see boiler room . 
giovanni ribisi gives an outstanding performance as the film's narrator , seth . 
after dropping out of college and running a lucrative gambling center for college students in his apartment , seth is offered a high paying job by a wealthy man ( nicky katt ) . 
he agrees to take the job ( in which you are guaranteed to become a millionaire within three years ) of selling stock to well-off americans from the mid-west over the telephone and begins to fit in quite well with his co-workers . 
learning tricky techniques to deceive innocent people into buying shares of a good in production , seth figures this is too good to be true . 
after stumbling into a room at the wrong time , he knows there is something no good about this company . 
at this point , seth is left with the ultimate choice ; continue with the american dream and make millions or tell the authorities that something fishy is going on . 
ribisi is believable as seth especially when he shares scenes with ron rifkin , playing seth's dad . 
the two have perfect chemistry as a troubled father and son trying to impress each other and simultaneously impress themselves . 
the transitions from anger to sympathy that these scenes contain are the standout segments of the entire film . 
the supporting cast of greedy co-workers is also flawless . 
ben affleck shines in a short but sweet performance as a recruiter for the company , nicky katt is fabulous as the ostensibly friendly boss who eventually becomes extremely jealous of seth , and vin diesel gives his best performance of his career as the foil character of nicky katt . 
the energy of the cast as a whole makes boiler room well paced and never boring . 
the only major error in the film is that nothing major happens . 
there is no big plot twist or climatic point to make the film more memorable . 
due to the lack of a major event , boiler room never finds a suitable genre to fit into . 
the movie is not intense enough to be a thriller , the romantic segments involving seth and abby ( nia long ) are not properly finalized , and the dialogue isn't funny enough to make it a comedy . 
in having trouble to characterize the movie as a whole , boiler room is slightly confused at times . 
it doesn't seem to know which category to fit itself into . 
one satisfying concluding scene could have changed the whole film for the better . 
otherwise , the movie is fun to watch thanks to its lively cast of young actors . 
"
"1","ok , let's get one thing straight right away : maximum risk is no battleship potemkin ( although it does have some russians in it ! ) , but it's not too bad , really . 
it's the new film from ringo lam , the latest hong kong filmmaker to defect to hollywood , and stars that minor league schwartzeneggar from belgium , jean-claude van damme ( who , you will recall , also starred in john woo's maiden hollywood effort , hard target ) . 
in lam's film , van damme plays alain moreau , a french cop ( at least his accent makes more sense here than it did in hard target ) who discovers that he was separated shortly after birth from a twin brother who was adopted by russians . 
these russians defected to the united states and moved into a black neighbourhood in new york ( where , i suppose , they thought they wouldn't be noticed ) . 
this brother , mikhail suverov ( played in his few scenes by . . . well , 
you know ) , becomes deeply involved in the russian mafia and the fbi ( almost the same thing , i guess ) , and is killed in france ( in the movie , things happen so fast that you don't have too much time to think about how weird this all is ) . 
moreau does what any good surviving twin brother would do and goes to new york to find out why mikhail was killed , and why everyone in france who knows anything about him is also being killed ( we wonder the same thing ; i still do ) . 
in little odessa , he meets mikhail's girlfriend , alex ( natasha henstridge , last seen in species ) , who helps him solve the mystery and adds immeasurably to the mise-en-scene ( she has very nice breasts , and we get to seen them briefly in this movie ; it was rated r in the us but is pg here , so they must have seen more of her breasts than we do ) . 
this film lacks the gloss and high production values of such other action movies as broken arrow , the fugitive , hard target , or anything starring arnold , but that works to its benefit , i think . 
after all , one thing that's been missing from woo's hollywood films is that certain hong kong funkiness that we all know and love ( well , some of us do ) . 
movies like this shouldn't be too pretentious , and that is part of the problem with some of these other films : they try to be too "" big "" in terms of special effects and sheer spectacle . 
maximum risk has its share of car chases and explosions , but they don't overwhelm the movie or detract our attention from the narrative ( not too much , anyway ) . 
the emphasis throughout is on the characters and their interactions ( even if , at times , they don't make a hell of a lot of sense ) . 
in fact , one of the more interesting aspects of the film is a minor character , a rather overeager new york cabbie ( frank van keeken from tv's "" kids in the hall "" ) , who begins as something of a joke but becomes an important part of the story . 
unfortunately , by the time we have come to really get interested in him , he . . . well , 
you'll see . 
the movie also features some set pieces of the type that we have come to expect from lam and his hong kong compatriots . 
one is a fight in a russian sauna , with lots of sweaty , muscular male flesh ( this one will appeal to certain parts of the audience more than others ) , bullets in heads , and vodka . 
another , my personal favorite , is a fight in a meat packing house , featuring pig carcasses and a chainsaw . 
and even the predictable car chases are more hong kong than hollywood , as they trash those quaint french cafes , vegetable carts , and , well , french people that , we all know in our hearts , deserve trashing just for being so damn quaint . 
of course , the movie does have its share of silliness . 
for example , while beating the crap out of an obnoxious russian thug who obviously deserves what he's getting , alain stops long enough to look at his own reflection in the cracked mirror with which he has been whacking the guy on the head . 
in an unnecessarily dramatic moment , he apparently is shocked at what he sees , at what he has become . 
but what has he become ? 
a tough cop who beats the hell out of a guy who tried to kill him ? 
doesn't sound too unreasonable to me , considering the genre . 
but let's face it , any time van damme tries to be dramatic , he looks silly . 
so maximum risk is a little different from most other action films . 
while watching it , i was surprised , and a little disappointed , in the relative lack of pyrotechnics . 
but watching some of these other action films is sort of like experiencing a sugar rush ; after the initial excitement , there's not much left . 
although it's short on spectacle , lam's film leaves a better and more lasting impression , i think . 
i'm more impressed by it now than i was while watching it , and to me , that's a good sign . 
go see maximum risk , but don't expect a typical hollywood action movie ; expect a sort of funky hong kong-hollywood action movie . 
the flying inkpot rating system : * wait for the tv2 broadcast . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
dr t . white teaches film at the english language and literature department of the national university of singapore , but we don't hold this against him . 
"
"1","trailing the success of brit humour in the movie industry with the likes of the semi-dramatic the commitments and the nearly slapstick a fish called wanda , the full monty is one film which delivered the depth of the former and the humour magnitude of the latter . 
the film opens with a narrated documentary reel showing the improving economic and living standards of sheffield in the 60's , then cut to the harsh reality of the present . 
sheffield has become some sort of a semi-slum with the only visible increase in anything was the amount of layoffs from steel-factories ; a once flourishing industry . 
gaz ( carlyle ) spends most of his time in the worker's club , a sort of place where jobless people sit around to wait for job offers . 
he and his `plump' friend dave ( addy ) as well as their former foreman gerald ( wilkinson ) have been sitting around the club for months without any `call for duty' . 
what seemingly was just a passing hard time for gaz suddenly transformed itself into desperation when he cannot afford the 700 pounds of child-support money to his ex-wife . 
suddenly finding himself facing the possiblity of losing custody of his son , he goes on to concoct an enterprising wild-idea to get the money he desperately requires . 
dave and gerald too have problems of their own . 
on top of his lack of employment , dave is also faced with the paranoia of his wife leaving him because of his current financial state as well as his`plump' appearance while gerald have been cheating on his wife by not telling her of his layoff for as long as 6 months , leaving home for `work' when he was actually a long-standing member of the worker's club . 
there we have it ; people with real problems and a not-so-practical solution for them . 
gaz manages to get the support from them and sure enough they managed to get a few other poor jobless blokes to join in their gag : to perform a strip-act at the local pub . 
in gaz's own words while looking at an add for a strip-act featuring hunky `beautiful' men , `if women are willing to pay for this , they sure as well will pay for real-men' . 
the full monty is very simple in nature and not a trace ambitious at all . 
it is a small film which delves in the harsh-reality of unemployment and the desperation it drives people to . 
it also is a very light movie to watch despite the theme it delves in because it has a lot of human-factor going for it . 
never for once , was it trying to be manipulative at all , the full monty was true to itself all the way . 
while the hilarity level of this film soared unexpectedly high , audience will find that they are in no way being cheated of a laugh , something lacking in many comedy films ( wannabes ? ) from hollywood . 
other than carlyle , who acted as the psychotic begbie in trainspotting , the rest of the actors were definitely very new to me on-screen . 
however , the acting presented in this film is more than satisfying . 
carlyle's work here is a stark contrast to his character in trainspotting , implying real acting skill and flexibility on-screen . 
kudos to the people involved in this film , especially to director peter cattaneo for being able to put together an excellent film which is has so much potential in ending up as your just-another-striptease . 
already a critical and financial success for such a small film , the full monty is a humble film which deserves applause throughout . 
while titanic managed to feast the eyes and soul in an epic way , the full monty gives one the same satisfaction ? ? . in 
half the time . 
"
"1"," "" you'll go ape over tarzan because it's more fun than a barrel of monkeys ! "" 
okay , there's the quote in case disney wants to put something in their ads for the movie . 
disney's latest animated feature throws us right into the action from the very beginning , skipping the usual main title sequence and putting us on pitching waves as a small family attempts to escape from a sinking ship . 
father , mother , and infant somehow make it to shore amidst a rousing song by phil collins , and have soon built a treehouse which would impress the swiss family robinson . 
it's amazing , the kinds of things you can do when you work to a soundtrack . 
before you know it , an unfortunate set of circumstances put the baby in the hands of kala ( glenn close ) , a mother ape who recently lost her own baby to a predatory leopard . 
against the wishes of her mate and family leader , kerchak ( lance henricksen ) , she takes on the infant boy as her own . 
tarzan is not so much a story about a human boy surviving in the african jungles as it is about one who does not really fit in either humanity or the wild . 
much of tarzan's young life is spent trying to become one of the apes in the eyes of his peers and his "" father , "" which occasionally gets him into trouble no matter how well-meant his attempts . 
all he's looking for is acceptance , perhaps a goal easily identifiable by young viewers , but one which will ring true with a lot of adults . 
when you really think about it , this story fits right into the disney formula of the outcast that triumphs in the end . 
look back on past disney animated features and you'll see the trend . 
growing up , tarzan ( voiced by alex d . linz as a child , and by tony goldwyn as an adult ) has a couple of friends . 
one is an ape named terk ( rosie o'donnell ) , and the other is a paranoid hypochondriac of an elephant named tantor ( wayne knight ) . 
both provide the requisite comic relief ( timon and poombah from the lion king immediately come to mind ) and perform the usual hijinks as prescribed by the disney mold . 
i'm beginning to think anyone can write the screenplay for one of these films . 
just fill in the blanks ! 
can you see it ? 
 "" now we have to have a couple of zany friends for out hero who might get him into mischief , but cover for him or come to his rescue when he needs it . 
we've already had a fish and a crab , and we've had a candle and a teapot , a genie and a dog , a few stone statues . . . . have 
we had an ape and an elephant yet ? 
well , there we go ! "" 
of course , there's gotta be romance somewhere along the line , so jane ( minnie driver ) gets introduced about halfway through . 
together with her father dr . porter ( nigel hawthorne ) and the big game hunter clayton ( brian blessed ) , jane is on an expedition to find and study the wild gorillas of africa . 
she discovers the man raised by apes and is enchanted almost immediately , and soon shares an amusing version of the compulsory "" you tarzan , me jane "" scene . 
thankfully , those aren't the exact words . 
however , i found it distracting that tarzan is going "" ohh ohh ee ee "" one second and then tells jane his name in this manly voice with perfect diction . 
how does he tell his name to another ape ? 
 "" ohh ohh ee - tarzan - ee ee ohh ? "" 
well , regardless of my picky nature , the romance actually works as only disney romance can : purely contrived , but for some reason rather believable . 
but hey , tarzan's a young adult . 
do you think he dated a few of the female apes before meeting jane ? 
isn't that illegal in most countries ? 
oh , well . 
i don't think disney will be using my quote anymore . 
tarzan departs from the usual disney feature in that this one is not a musical . 
there's lots of music to be sure , but not a single character song in the whole hour and a half of running time . 
we instead get more of a phil collins concert , as no less than five of his original songs are used as interlude material . 
this isn't really a bad thing , as the songs are very high-energy and catchy ( i found myself singing one to myself for most of the following day ) ; it's just different . 
do yourself a favor and see this film in a theater with a good sound system , because the music will come through astonishingly well and really enhance the movie . 
with each new feature , disney animation gets even better . 
not necessarily by leaps and bounds , but since they put out a new film each year , a steady rate of improvement is apparent , and this definitely shows in tarzan . 
there are a couple of scenes where the animation achieves a near 3-d effect , and a number of scenes which feature tarzan moving through the trees are absolutely dizzying . 
the way he slides down tree limbs and trunks is very reminiscent of skateboarding and rollerblading maneuvers , and had me thinking this isn't just tarzan , it's "" extreme tarzan . "" 
however , tarzan does not seem to have what i call its "" chandelier scene , "" which is the one scene to which the animators have chosen to devote an inordinate amount of effort , utilizing a computer-assisted process that makes the animation absolutely breathtaking . 
lasting but a few seconds at most , it's been the signature of nearly every disney animated feature since beauty and the beast , in which the castle ballroom chandelier was rendered in stunning detail . 
as usual , the voice talent is up to snuff , convincingly make you believe in the convictions of animated characters . 
the one poor choice in casting , however , was rosie o'donnell . 
going into the film , i didn't know she was even a part of it , but when terk started talking , i recognized her voice immediately . 
her performance was fine , but through the rest of the film i kept thinking , "" that's no boy ape , that rosie o'donnell . "" 
distracting to say the least . 
i'll admit i've never read the edgar rice burroughs story "" tarzan of the apes , "" so i couldn't tell you how true this film stays to the book . 
but unless you're a purist , you should have few objections to this film . 
with solid performances , action , adventure , a bit of romance , and great music and animation , tarzan should appeal to the kids and to the kid in all of us . 
note : when i wrote my review of mulan a year ago , i went off on the promotional and merchandising tie-ins prevalent with the release of a disney animated feature . 
this time , i'll just say that i went to mcdonald's yesterday to treat myself to a mcflurry , and tarzan was on the cup . 
'nuff said . 
"
"1","you've got mail is a timely romance for this impersonal , computer-driven decade . 
two people who've never met confide in each other via e-mail without revealing their true identities . 
nora ephron's contemporary update of the shop around the corner retains the basic plot : two people who despise each other unwittingly become enamored with each other through their anonymous correspondence . 
ephron , who co-wrote the film with her sister , delia , as well as directed it , knew what she was doing by reteaming tom hanks and meg ryan as the at-odds couple . 
ryan is kathleen kelly , owner of a small children's bookstore , while hanks is joe fox , who heads up a chain of mega bookstores ( think barnes & noble ) . 
their charm and chemistry are the glue that binds this film , even through some of the script's rough spots . 
for the ephrons invested so much effort in their protagonists that they give short shrift to the talented supporting cast , including parker posey , greg kinnear , jean stapleton and steve zahn . 
yet no one is really going to complain because the ephrons know their audience - and what the paying public wants is hanks and ryan . 
and the two are kept busy . 
one , the other or both are in nearly every scene . 
hanks has his decent guy routine down pat , yet each time he does it , it seems effortless , spontaneous and fresh . 
ryan smoothly moves between spunky and vulnerable , with a sexy touch of winsomeness added to the brew . 
their scenes together sparkle , even though they lack the nostalgic romanticism of sleepless in seattle . 
and the shadow of that earlier hit hangs over you've got mail like dried-up mistletoe . 
the sparks created by the earlier movie are , by necessity , not evident here . 
true , these are two people seeking true love , but you've got mail is more comic and less poignant than its predecessor . 
the ephrons' script is witty and sharp . 
however , as a director nora ephron is a bit uneven . 
some scenes drag , while others , especially when hanks and ryan are revealing their souls via e-mail , are crisp and tidy . 
also , the script gets sloppy toward the end with characters merely disappearing from the story . 
a nice , romantic soundtrack adds to this date-night special . 
overall , you've got mail is a lush and cute outing , taking advantage of the star appeal of its two leads . 
it's a nice holiday movie , one for holding hands and snuggling . 
committed to lifelong learning through effective communication 
"
"1","according to hollywood movies made in last few decades , life in small town is one of the worst things that could happen to a human being . 
even worse fate awaits those who were unfortunate to grow up in those dark , god-forsaken places and later forced to live forever traumatised by the experience . 
on the other hand , it seems that something more than atlantic ocean divides europe from america , because one of the most popular and beloved european films takes exactly the opposite view . 
this film is amarcord , 1974 comedy by famous italian director federico fellini , which later gave inspiration to numerous imitations and homages , and even led few american screen artists to adopt its heretical views about benefits of small town life . 
the film is based on the screenplay by fellini and tonino guerra and it lacks the plot in usual sense . 
instead we follow one year in 1930s italian summer resort town of rimini through the series of short vignettes that depict various local events and customs , as well as series of local , often very colourful characters . 
although many of those characters occasionally take the role of narrator , movie concentrates on its nominal protagonist , 14-year old boy titta ( played by bruno zanin ) and chronicles his sexual frustrations , obsession with local beauty queen named gradisca ( played by magali noel ) , problems in his lovingly dysfunctional family , as well as troubles his father ( played by armando brancia ) have with mussolini's fascist regime . 
amarcord was often noted as the ultimate nostalgia film , and it probably explains why it is very popular , even among those people who actually don't like federico fellini's work very much . 
every member of its potential audience would find part of himself or herself in this film , because fellini in this film clearly illustrates natural human desire to paint past in the best way possible . 
distortion between actual past and its subjective interpretation could be found even in the title of the film - word "" amarcord "" is nothing more than badly pronounced phrase "" i remember "" in local italian dialect . 
in the same way the word is distorted , so is the past in memories of those who remember it . 
after the premiere , fellini rejected any claims about autobiographical character of this film , but it doesn't matter whether rimini of amarcord actually resembles rimini of fellini's childhood or not ; any place and any time could resemble characters and situations of this film . 
fellini's views on nostalgia are clearly illustrated with a way he mixes reality and fantasy in this film . 
even the most naturalistic scenes are laced with dark humour and grotesque images . 
characters look like caricatures , actors playing them often deliberately overact , and women , especially those who fuel titta's sexual fantasies , often have certain body parts with gargantuan proportions . 
every now and then , scenes that depict 1930s reality gradually slide into fantasies of movie's characters and rimini becomes almost indistinguishable from the magical place in characters' visions . 
because of that , almost everything in this film looks different , and in most cases better , than it would have looked in the real life . 
even the fascism gets fellinian make-over - fellini views mussolini's totalitarian regime as nothing more than visual spectacle ( explaining why similar regimes enjoyed such popular support throughout history ) and opportunity for comedy . 
when fascists finally show their true colours and begin torturing their opponents , even this becomes opportunity for scenes of macabre humour . 
unlike many of his italian colleagues in 1970s , who had used 1930s period setting to explicitly condemn fascism and serve fashionable political agenda , fellini doesn't care that much about politics . 
lack of self-righteous moral perspective is compensated with fellini's humanistic approach to his characters . 
each of them , regardless of age , gender , social class or physical appearance , is given opportunity to express his or her views , dreams and fears . 
fellini treats all those characters with warmth and affection , even when he paints them as grotesque caricatures of real people . 
because of this warmth and democratic spirit , amarcord could be viewed as one of the most humane films of 20th century , and it keeps its general feel good atmosphere despite depicting having many uncomfortable , melancholic and even tragic moments . 
fellini couldn't produce such effects without using his own directorial talent that gave a very personal touch to this movie . 
vignettes aren't memorable because of the characters only ; fellini uses camera , painting film in bright colours , especially in the scenes that depict character's fantasies . 
fellini also knows how to use locations , whether such location happens to be luxurious hotel , bright-coloured beach or rural countryside . 
even the down-to-earth streets of rimini , where everyone knows everyone , gets magical dimension during the snowfall . 
on the other hand , lack of credible special effects somewhat diminished the same effect during the ocean liner scene . 
this atmosphere is also provided by incredible talent of composer and fellini's long-time associate nino rota . 
his amarcord theme is probably one of the most recognisable , most popular and most relaxing and uplifting pieces of film music ever produced . 
that music alone should be the reason to view amarcord as one of the indisputable classics of seventh art . 
"
"1","written by mark rosenthal and lawrence konner 
starring charlize theron , bill paxton , david paymer 
as reviewed by james brundage 
i'm beginning to get fed up . 
over my four years as a critic , the thing which has kept me going is the moderate balance of films . 
the good balances the bad . 
i try to see both in equal proportions . 
but disney's mighty joe young remake marks the fourth week in which i haven't seen a truly terrible movie . 
it's a backwards machismo , i suppose , the urge to see the things which you so loathe ; but i need to see a bad film every once in a while . 
and , you know what , mighty joe young doesn't qualify . 
far from being bad , mighty joe young is actually a family fun movie . 
it's enjoyable , appropriate , cute , cuddly , and all of those other things that i've been seeing in every movie since a bug's life . 
mighty joe young tracks a 2 , 000 pound gorilla in the wilds of africa that is taken to a reserve in . . . 
california ? 
 . . . 
for safe-keeping . 
okay . 
a little unrealistic , but who ever said a kid's movie had to have the slightest hint of realism . 
the first half of the movie is a gorillas in the mist-esque hatred of poachers woman-of-the-wild motif . 
the second half is a straight up parody of king kong , awestruck onlookers and all . 
mark one down . 
i'm feeling relaxed . 
it is , as a point of fact , an extremely un-creative movie . 
but , as a vetern , i can say quite honestly that creativity doesn't count for as much as it should . 
so that saves mighty joe from my wrath , although my colleagues and cohorts and surely bashing this film at this very moment . 
this is not the film to take a girl on a date to . 
it's not the film for you . 
it's the film for you and your family . 
when you're right alongside your kid , all of the normal rights and wrongs slip away . 
the same thing happens when you watch a horror movie or an action flick . 
it becomes fun . 
all you have to do to enjoy mighty joe young is shut up and watch . 
"
"1","notting hill's trailer is awful : a laughless , schmaltzy montage . 
the movie was desperately marketed to the anti-phantom menace crowd , the same lovelorn females who ignored the love letter . 
and it apparently worked . 
perhaps the presence of julia roberts-whose allure beyond those perfect teeth still escapes me-had a lot to do with notting hill's opening weekend success , but the film's staying power is based on word of mouth . 
allow me to spread some more good buzz for notting hill . 
grant stars as william thacker , a travel-bookstore owner who works and resides in a tiny english district called notting hill . 
into his shop one day wanders famous actress anna scott ( roberts ) . 
a common thief , some spilled orange juice , and some stilted conversation leads to their first , highly impetuous ( or is that improbable ? ) , kiss . 
days later , william sneaks into her hotel suite under the guise of a magazine journalist , and so begins a passionate , albeit surreptitious , affair . 
 ( aside : notting hill's portrayal of press junkets is deadly accurate . ) 
only anna's celebrity-or william's lack thereof-threatens to drive a wedge between them . 
richard curtis has tapped into fantasy we all have considered , and for at least its first half-hour the picture's "" beauty and the beast "" -like scenario is ( romantic ) escapism of the highest order . 
as with groundhog day or pleasantville , while watching the high-concept comedy notting hill one constantly imagines him/herself in the lead ; it's william's ordinaryness that entices the spoiled and bored anna . 
curtis ( who previously penned four weddings and a funeral ) is also smart enough to know that the unlikely couple's situation is not enough to fuel two hours' worth of entertainment , so some of notting hill's finest moments revolve around william's eccentric friends and family . 
by now , dear reader , you've probably heard a lot about rhys ifans' performance as william's imbecilic welsh flatmate . 
yes , he's a crowd pleaser , a walking sight gag , but his character is not nearly as involving as the wheelchair-bound ( and appropriately named ) bella ( mckee , the anguished waitress of naked ) or max ( tom mcinnerny ) , her lousy chef of a husband . 
in the movie's best sequence , william , anna , and company sit around bloated from max's latest concoction and hold a contest : the last brownie on the table goes to the diner with the saddest life . 
the scene ends only as a british writer would end it . 
if anything , fantastic bits like these dull the main plot's dramatic impact . 
roberts and grant , especially , are appealing , but their relationship is convolutedly interrupted too many times ( four weddings' suffered similar flaws ) , and william and anna ultimately only have one thing in common : they're lonely . 
 ( worth noting in roberts' and grant's favour : the ubiquitous "" i'm just a girl , standing across from a boy , asking him to love her "" episode is not nearly so syrupy as it appears in clips , and it features some of the best emoting either actor has ever done . ) 
notting hill is nonetheless enjoyable ; on the visual side of things , i especially appreciated michell's playful changing-of-the-seasons number . 
if only ( and this is a surprisinly minor gripe ) he had lopped off the egregious epilogue ; for a story that thrives on what we bring to it , the filmmakers work too hard to tidy things up , leaving our imaginations in the lurch . 
"
"1","[note that followups are directed to rec . arts . movies . current-films and rec . arts . movies . startrek . current 
only , not to rec . arts . sf . movies . 
-moderator] 
star trek : first contact a film review by michael dequina copyright 1996 michael dequina 
star trek : first contact ( pg-13 ) anyone familiar with the series of star trek movies knows of the "" even-odd pattern "" --the even-numbered installments of the series are good while the odd-numbered ones are , well , not-so-good . 
the pattern continues with the new star trek : first contact , an energetic sci-fi adventure that ( coincidentally ? ) is the eighth entry in the hugely popular series . 
in this first trek feature to feature only cast members from the late star trek : the next generation television series , captain jean-luc picard ( patrick stewart ) and the rest of the 24th-century crew of the starship enterprise--commander will riker ( jonathan frakes , who also directed ) , android lt . cmdr . 
data ( brent spiner ) , lt . cmdr . 
geordi laforge ( levar burton ) , lt . cmdr . 
worf ( michael dorn ) , dr . beverly crusher ( gates mcfadden ) , and counselor deanna troi ( marina sirtis ) --travel back to 21st-century earth while doing battle with the borg , a race of cybernetic beings that share a collective mind with the borg queen ( alice krige ) . 
the borg intend to alter history and assimilate all of humankind into their race--starting with the earth-orbiting crew of the enterprise and a 21st century stowaway ( alfre woodard ) . 
this is an interesting plotline that is sure to mesmerize trekkers everywhere and engage everyone else , but , unfortunately , it only makes up the star trek half of the script by brannon braga and ronald d . moore . 
the other half of the title--first contact--refers to a subplot that takes place on 21st-century earth , where riker , troi , and laforge meet legendary scientist zephram cochran ( james cromwell ) , who is about to embark on the first warp speed flight in human history , which directly leads to the first contact with extraterrestrials . 
while this story does tie into the main plot and pays off interestingly in the end , it is nowhere near as involving or exciting as the borg battles on the enterprise . 
not helping matters is the tiresome cochran character , an eccentric whose drunken schtick starts out funny but becomes too one-note after a while . 
in the end , though , the first contact subplot doesn't detract from the enjoyment of the film as a whole . 
the story is typical sci-fi fantasy , but the conviction of the cast--most notably the always-phenomenal stewart--makes you believe and care . 
frakes , making his feature directorial debut , keeps the action swiftly rolling along and delivers the action goods , even upping the violence a notch ( this is the first trek film to bear a pg-13 rating ) to greater effect . 
st : fc has a bigger budget than the last trek outing , the middling star trek generations , and it definitely shows on screen--the production design and especially visual and makeup effects are outstanding ( in particular those involving the borg queen ) . 
braga and moore's mostly sharp script will please both trek devotees and the rest ; the references to the borg storyline in the tv series , the continuity with the previous film ( e . g . 
the ongoing saga of data's emotion chip ) , and a fleeting star trek : voyager crossover will make trekkers squeal with delight , but such points are made easily accessible to those less familiar to the trek mythos . 
paramount was reportedly worried about the staying power of its trek franchise with the next generation cast now carrying the helm . 
based on the entertaining success that is star trek : first contact , i'd say the studio has nothing to worry about ( at least not until this cast retires and the crew of the wan star trek : deep space nine takes over . . . ) . 
"
"1","slavery is bad . 
after hundreds of years , we've finally figured that one out . 
this almost universal belief is the both the strength and weakness of director steven spielberg's latest "" serious "" film . 
during the late 1830s , a portuguese slave ship carries a cargo of black men and women kidnapped from their home on africa's west coast to cuba to be sold into slavery . 
fifty-three of them are stuffed into the "" la amistad "" ( from a spanish word for "" friendship "" ) by their new spanish owners . 
freeing himself from his chains , senge pieh ( djimon hounsou ) , renamed cinque by his masters , leads a bloody revolt . 
after killing most of the crew , the africans force the remaining sailors to return them to their home - or so they think . 
instead the ship heads up the coast to the united states . 
the amistad is boarded by an american naval ship and the revolutionaries are put on trial in connecticut for murder and piracy . 
the legal question becomes are they free men fighting justly for their freedom or are they property . 
if they are property , who do they belong to ? 
their masters ? 
the spanish government ? 
salvage rights of the officers who captured the ship ? 
the us government ? 
the defendants are pawns in several games . 
abolitionists theodore joadson ( morgan freeman ) and lewis tappan ( stellan skarsgard ) want to free them , but tappan sees them primarily as a means to further the cause . 
their lawyer roger baldwin ( matthew mcconaughey ) views the case as a simple one of property rights and a chance to make his share of legal fees . 
south carolina senator john c . calhoun ( arliss howard ) pursues the case for the political advancement of the southern states . 
president martin van buren ( nigel hawthorne ) is willing to force the result towards his own political ends . 
when the verdict looks to free the africans , van buren replaces the judge with one more sympathetic to his wishes . 
even that doesn't work and the new judge frees the kidnap victims . 
at the urging of calhoun , the president then appeals the case to the supreme court , populated by a majority of slave-owners . 
this little-known ( try finding it in any history text book ) incident from america's past would have gone down a darker path were it not for former president john quincy adams ( anthony hopkins ) who is persuaded to argue the case before the supreme court . 
the slavery issue is easy pickin's for spielberg . 
much like his "" shindler's list "" ( which followed "" jurassic park "" as this follows "" lost world "" ) , the moral sides are not difficult ones to choose . 
nazis and slave traders : both treat groups of others as less than human . 
it's not hard to see who the bad guys are . 
without that question to ponder , the director's job is more difficult . 
he has to make the story interesting . 
spielberg succeeds for the most part . 
the visual aspect of the film is beyond reproach . 
where the movie falls down is a bit more subtle . 
there are very few _people_ in the tale . 
in fact , cinque is the only character who is fleshed out . 
tappan and joadson are "" abolitionists "" : symbols but not humans . 
van buren is a weak politician but nothing else . 
the rest of the "" slaves "" barely exist other than dressing for the set . 
like many other films about people of color , almost all the major players are white . 
the film's salvation lies in the acting strength of everyone involved and the powerful presence of hounsou . 
the former model's first major role is a winner . 
without speaking more than five words of english , he conveys more emotion than most actors with a thousand lines of dialog . 
the other stand-out is hopkins who seems to be making a career out of portraying american presidents ( he also played the title role in "" nixon "" ) . 
the impassioned speech by the doddering old man who phases in and out of rationality is among the best court-room drama ever on the screen . 
there are some other great moments . 
especially impressive are the african's struggle to understand what is going on in the strange land . 
their interpretation of the bible based solely on the pictures and their own experiences is poignant . 
as grand as the epic is , it would have more impact had it focused more on the experience from the point of view of the africans . 
more humanity in the fight for humanity would have made it a four-star film . 
 ( michael redman has written this column for a real long time and is just now getting around to seeing some 1998 films . ) 
"
"1","reflecting on "" bedazzled , "" a lively comedy about the devil who seeks to possess the soul of a pathetic loser , one sinful thought remains in my mind . 
if hell means having to spend an eternity with elizabeth hurley ( who portrays the fiery demon ) , then use that pitchfork and point me the way . 
with her pouty lips , irresistible british accent , and wild display of haute couture , hurley crackles with naughtiness and fills your mind with temptation . 
it's practically impossible to turn this beelzu-babe down . 
her next target is elliot ( brendan fraser ) , a tech support geek who is clumsy , awkward , and just too eager to please . 
to aptly picture him , you would have to remember a saturday night live skit featuring "" steve the copy guy "" who effortlessly irritated his co-workers with his unpolished social skills . 
eugene , thus , is loathed and feared by his co-workers , who do their best to stay out of his way . 
yet , beyond his annoying mannerisms , he's a lovable oaf . 
he wishes that he could get closer to allison ( frances o'connor ) , a co-worker with whom he is infatuated but who has never taken notice of him . 
however , the odds of him getting together with her are about the same as a snowball's chance in hell . 
 "" dear god , "" he prays . 
 "" i would give anything to have that girl in my life . "" 
guess who then shows up ? 
she makes an offer that is too hard to refuse . 
 "" seven utterly fabulous wishes for one piddling little soul . "" 
there's even an escape clause . 
if elliot's wish doesn't go exactly the way he likes , he need only 'beep' her ( one guess as to what the three-digit number is ) and he gets to start over . 
the remainder of the film consists of elliot's various fantasies that incorporate his personal desire to have enormous amounts of wealth , power , fame and allison's love . 
but when he makes sweeping statements such as "" i want to be very , very powerful and very , very rich and married to allison "" , he'll soon learn that the devil is in the details . 
for example , ( and we've seen this several times in the trailers ) , he is granted his wish , but finds out that he's a columbian drug lord and that allison , while married to him , has her eyes on someone else . 
apparently , the devil is just as eager to skew his fantasies as she is to possess his soul . 
his other wishes also end up with some strange but funny twist that short-circuits his new life . 
soon , elliot wishes that he had never made that deal . 
given the mischievous nature of the devil , "" bedazzled "" has many amusing moments . 
a lot of the credit goes to fraser who turns in a great comic performance . 
he ably assumes various personas . 
his funniest segment is when he wishes that he could be the most sensitive man in the world . 
allison becomes so frustrated with him that she practically urges him to take advantage of her . 
hurley also heightens the humor quotient , especially in the transitional scenes when fraser waits to start his next wish after bailing out of the previous one . 
it's clear that she's having a good time with it all . 
yet , while the filmmakers work hard at creating funny scenes , they conspicuously avoid developing the allegorical underpinnings between good and evil that could have added more heft to this story . 
but that would be playing with fire . 
what they've got works , so you can easily accept it for the pleasant little comedy that it is . 
"
"1","the muppet movie is the first , and the best movie among the ever-growing list of muppet movies . 
the muppet movie tells the story of how our hero , kermit the frog , came to be a star . 
a delightful movie for all ages , the muppet movie is * bursting * with cameo appearances by countless hollywood stars of the 80's and today . 
the muppet movie begins in a movie theater , where all of the muppet stars are anxiously awaiting the first showing . 
once everyone is settled down , the movie inside of the movie begins . 
it starts out with kermit in a swamp , playing his banjo and singing ( this shot required jim henson to spend hours underwater ) . 
kermit is discovered by bernie , a big-time hollywood agent who happens upon kermit by accident . 
bernie believes that kermit holds much potential to become a big star in hollywood . 
kermit ponders the idea of becoming a big movie star , where he could "" make millions of people happy "" . 
kermit decides to leave his swamp and make the trip out to hollywood . 
along the way , kermit befriends his now famous muppet companions , beginning with fozzie bear , who had been spending his days doing stand-up comedy at the el sleezo cafe , owned by james coburn . 
the two decide to team-up and continue on their way to hollywood . 
but , doc hopper ( charles durning ) , the owner of a chain of french fried frog leg restaurants has a different idea . 
he wants kermit to be his spokesman , but kermit is humiliated at the idea and spends the movie avoiding him and his assistants . 
the trip continues , with kermit and fozzie meeting miss piggy , rowlf , gonzo , the electric mayhem band , and more muppets who all share the same wish : to make it to hollywood . 
oh , and even more celebrities continue to appear . 
kermit and miss piggy continue to get to know each other a little better , including a rather funny scene at a restaurant with steve martin as the waiter . 
eventually , kermit and the group make it to hollywood . 
that is , after kermit is finally able to elude doc hopper and proclaim his freedom . 
lord lew , a big-time hollywood producer portrayed by orson welles , gives kermit his shot at stardom and gives him the go-ahead to produce a movie . 
the muppet movie is definitely a movie that is fun for all ages . 
it is also a sure-deal as one parents can watch , and enjoy along with their kids . 
"
"1","all great things come to an end , and the dot-com era embodies that perfectly . 
beneath a mound of bankruptcy paperwork lies the remains of a former dot-com darling , the company kozmo . com , 
an online convenience store stocked with ice cream , porn videos , and other basic necessities of a urban dweller , all hand-delivered by couriers within an hour . 
designed in 1997 by two college roommates -- joseph parks , a 27 year old goldman sachs banker , and yong kang - kozmo flamed out in three short years , raising more than $280 million in venture capital funding and from partnerships with such bigwigs as starbucks and amazon . com . 
by december 1999 , the company boasted 4 , 000 employees in 11 cities , its barking ceo park attracting all kinds of media attention . 
the company was set for an ipo in may 2000 . . . 
until april 14 , 2000 , the day the stock market took its first big dive , ending the internet era . 
by april 13 , 2001 , kozmo was out of money and ceased operations . 
unlike the earlier , similar documentary startup . com , which chronicled the rise and fall of another dot-com , govworks , e-dreams focuses both on its original founders , especially park , and on the common folks that ran the day-to-day operations . 
the contrast is amazing , showing how a cult persona can convince anyone that any idea is the next big thing . 
the film's director , wonsuk chin ( too tired to die ) , expertly juxtaposes upper management company meetings with on-the-spot interviews with the bike messengers , general managers , and floor staff that kept kozmo humming . 
the film's images give a backbone to the company and provide an emotional edge to its ultimate demise . 
the most satisfying part of the film comes in understanding , to a degree , the expectations of numerous ceos commanding these titanic-type businesses . 
in the film's final interviews with park , we learn what happens when the money dries up and backers don't return phone calls . 
in the end , the name of the game was profit , and if you couldn't make money , even the dreamers got the axe . 
screened at the 24th annual mill valley film festival . 
"
"1","since their film debut in 1984 with the tightly wrought texas thriller "" blood simple , "" joel and ethan coen have been one of the most eclectic , original , and downright fascinating creative teams in modern hollywood . 
their films are highly stylized , deeply embedded in a particular time and place , and their characters are more often than not everyday people who get caught up in highly unusual circumstances . 
in "" the big lebowski , "" their first cinematic offering since the multiple academy award-winning "" fargo , "" the action takes place in los angeles during the gulf war , and the hero of the story is jeff lebowski , aka the dude . 
the dude is played by jeff bridges -- one of hollywood's most underrated actors -- in the best stoned performance since sean penn stumbled through the halls of ridgemont high . 
the dude is a simple man who has never quite made it out of the sixties . 
he has shaggy , shoulder-length hair , a grizzled goatee badly in need of a trim , and he wears mostly stained tee-shirts , long shorts , and gellies without socks . 
he smokes a lot of pot , drinks a lot of white russians , and is more than content to spend the majority of his time bowling with his two buddies , a slightly psychotic vietnam vet named walter sobchak ( john goodman ) and donny ( steve buscemi ) , one of those guys who always wants to be part of the conversation , but never quite makes it in . 
one day , the dude is confused with another jeff lebowski ( david huddleston ) , this one being a millionaire philanthropist whose trophy wife , bunny ( tara reid ) , owes a lot of people a lot of money . 
the main plot and all its accompanying side-plots and coenesque diatribes are far too complicated to get into here . 
suffice to say that the dude becomes deeply involved with the big lebowski when bunny is kidnaped and the dude is asked to be a courier for the ransom money . 
by the time all is said and done , walter has become deeply involved , as has the big lebowski's daughter , maude ( julianne moore ) , a feminist performance artist , a pornographer named jackie treehorn ( ben gazzara ) , and a group of german nihilists led by peter stormare , who was so great as the silent but deadly kidnaper in "" fargo . "" 
 "" the big lebowski "" plays like an amalgam of all the coen brothers' earlier efforts . 
it shares their previous films' strong sense of time and place , as well as their send-ups of movie genres and political and cultural ideologies . 
 "" lebowski "" has the same kind of crazed caricatures that made "" raising arizona "" such a hoot ; it has surrealistic dream sequences ( one of which involves a busby berkley-like dance number ) that characterized the ending of "" barton fink "" ; and it has the same kind of cartoonish look and feel that pervaded "" the hudsucker proxy . "" 
the film was shot by veteran cinematographer roger deakins , who has worked with the coens on three other films , "" barton fink , "" "" the hudsucker proxy , "" and "" fargo . "" 
deakins always gives the coens' films a distinctive visual style , and here he does a brilliant job of capturing the bright colors of seedy los angeles in the early nineties , whether that by the obnoxious blue bowling suit worn by the dude's main competitor jesus quintana ( john turturro ) , or the strikingly manic dream sequences , one of which involves the dizzy spectacle of watching a strike from a bowling ball's point of view . 
if "" fargo "" was the coen brothers' most restrained effort in years , "" the big lebowski "" marks their return to over-the-edge filmmaking . 
it is overflowing with style and attitude , which helps make up for the scattered plot fragments that never quite come together in the end . 
the coens fill the screen with lighting , set design , music , and hilarious performances from all the leads , especially bridges and the always reliable john goodman , who shows real comic timing in his untimely 'nam-inspired outbursts and his intense dedication to his adopted judaism . 
with joel directing , ethan producing , and both writing , the coen brothers seem limitless in their capacity to turn our world inside out . 
their talent lies not in their ability to reflect the norms of reality , but in their potential to dig out the darkest corners of life and bring them to light . 
the coens rejoice in the oddballs of the world , and they put them center-stage to show that it's not just guys like the dude who are nuts , but the entire planet . 
"
"1","lean , mean , escapist thrillers are a tough product to come by . 
most are unnecessarily complicated , and others have no sense of expediency -- the thrill-ride effect gets lost in the cumbersome plot . 
perhaps the ultimate escapist thriller was the fugitive , which featured none of the flash-bang effects of today's market but rather a bread-and-butter , textbook example of what a clever script and good direction is all about . 
the latest tony scott movie , enemy of the state , doesn't make it to that level . 
it's a true nineties product that runs like greased lightning through a maze of cell phones and laptop computers , without looking back . 
although director scott has made missteps in the past , such as the lame thriller the fan , he's generated a good deal of energy in pictures like crimson tide and top gun . 
that vibrant spirit is present here , shown in well-timed and carefully planned chase scenes that give the movie an aura of sheer speed . 
enemy of the state also features an unprecedented use of amazing cinematography -- director of photography daniel mindel throws a staggering amount of different views , angles , lenses , and film stocks at the audience that goes a long way toward involving the audience in the movie . 
enemy is truly a visual experience , and that's only one of the reasons it's such a fun watch . 
the movie lights up with an aging senator visited by nsa deputy chief thomas reynolds ( jon voight ) . 
reynolds wants a new communications act passed to allow the government free reign in the use of surveilance equipment , but the senator plans to bury the bill in committee . 
reynolds has the senator offed , but not before the murder is caught on a naturalist's camera . 
by an extremist chain of events , the tape ends up in labor lawyer robert dean ( will smith ) 's posession , and it's not long before he's running from reynolds' cronies . 
it's only with the help of an ex-spook named brill ( gene hackman ) that dean is able to get to the bottom of things . 
the acting is top notch , and the three principles - smith , hackman , and voight - are generally more mature and excellent all around . 
smith puts aside the wisecracking act and becomes a normal human being ; voight tones down the amount of sneer he puts into his character for greater ominpotence ; and hackman is simply over the top in the mysterioso role . 
smith's regular joe comes off particularly well , as he runs from authorties for reasons that he knows not . 
the supports are also in fine form , lending credibility to the main roles and advancing the plot in key areas . 
this is , for the holiday crowd , the hot ticket ; as well as anyone looking for a serving of genuine action in a market that is otherwise lacking . 
"
"1","this film is based on the campy tv show from the 1960's under the same appellation . 
mind you , most people ( including yours truly ) who will see this movie will not have seen any episodes from the original series . 
the movie is really a stand alone in that regard . 
the family robinson . . . lost in space . 
plot : set in the year 2058 , the family robinson is chosen to sail out into space in search of other planets that might contain the natural resources earth needs in order to survive its future . 
a colonization process , if you will . 
they are joined by able pilot west ( leblanc ) , and evil uninvited stowaway ( oldman ) , who does not want to see the trip conclude on a successful tip . 
eventually , their trek goes awry , and all are "" lost in space "" . 
 "" how do get back to earth ? "" 
is the question that infests the rest of this sci-fi epic . 
critique : this film reminded me a lot of the fifth element ( 6 . 5/10 ) from the summer of 1997 . 
it's a film with a lot of flash , but very little actual substance . 
admittedly , there isn't an annoying character like chris tucker from the other film , but this film does run a little too long , and did lose me in regards to its complex time-travel / multi-dimensional story line . 
having said that , the special effects in this movie were amazing , and the overall look and feel were also way above average . 
you really felt like you were in the future , and riding through space with these poor souls . 
unfortunately for this chosen family , their 10-year old son is the smartest one in the group , and the father is too wrapped up in his work to notice the rest of his family ( ever heard that one before ? 
yawn ! ) . 
the acting is ok , and i was especially surprised at the solid performance by tv friend's matt leblanc who shows us all that he's definitely more than just a pretty face . 
on the down side , the family riff-raff that cuts through most of the picture is lame and time-consuming ( even though we gotta give them credit for "" trying "" to develop characters in a sci-fi pic ) , the story line is hard to follow , the evil character in the movie actually tells people that he's "" evil "" , and the movie goes on for about 20 minutes too long . 
on the slick side , many of the special effects are really cool ( the sequence in which the family is "" paralyzed "" during the hyper-drive is awesome , and the animated monkey that joins the family halfway through the flic is mucho cool ) , the credit presentation at the end of the film is slamming , and the adventures that they fall into are somewhat thrilling ( i will also admit that "" somehow "" they got me to semi-tear up near the conclusion of this picture . . . . very 
odd . . . . . ) . 
overall , if you're a big sci-fi fan , check this movie out for the special effects and challenging narrative , and if you're not , i would still suggest seeing this movie , but then you could probably wait until it comes out on video so that you forward past some of the boring parts . 
little known facts : this film will always be remembered as the movie that knocked titanic ( 7/10 ) out of the top spot at the box-office after 15 straight weeks at number one . 
garry oldman is british , and was once married to uma thurman for about six months . 
mimi rogers was tom cruise's first wife . 
"
"1","1992's alien3 marked not only the death ( by suicide ) of its popular protagonist , ellen ripley ( sigourney weaver ) , but , in many ways , the alien franchise itself--box office receipts were anemic , thanks to poor audience word of mouth ; and the critics who rallied around the first two installments , 1979's alien and 1986's aliens , savaged david fincher's slog of a sendoff ( myself included ) . 
hence , weaver , director jean-pierre jeunet , and the others behind alien resurrection faced a two-fold challenge--not only somehow resurrect ripley , but also rescue this once-profitable series from the scrap heap . 
despite the odds , they have succeeded , even if the entertaining new installment does not measure up to the excellent first two . 
writer joss whedon devises a quick , easy , and painless answer to the dead ripley problem--clone her , which is what shady military scientists do using some blood left behind on fiorina 161 , the prison planet of the third film . 
that done , the _real_ challenge presents itself--what do with her . 
alien introduced ripley as smart and resourceful ; aliens simultaneously toughened her up and made her more vulnerable , exploring her maternal side ; alien3 saw her undergoing the seven stages of death . 
what could be next ? 
whedon comes up with a clever spin : since the original ripley died while impregnated with an alien queen , the blood used for the clone is also "" infected "" with alien dna . 
so the new ripley is , indeed , new--a human/alien hybrid blessed with heightened instincts and strength , a psychic bond with the deadly species , and a more predatory attitude . 
unfortunately , that is where alien resurrection's clever streak in writing stops . 
the alien series is known for having stronger stories than most creature features . 
but the story in resurrection is more of an afterthought . 
the movie begins with a plot involving some military types attempting to train aliens to do their bidding , but once the creatures break free , it is once again ripley and a ragtag crew ( this time a bunch of interstellar smugglers , including tough waif call , played by a game winona ryder ) trying to exterminate them . 
and the alien ripley scenario is ultimately not exploited to its full potential ; i would have liked deeper exploration into the quandary of becoming one of the species she has spent her entire life trying to destroy . 
while the settling into tried-and-true formula is a little disconcerting , the formula is tried-and-true for a reason , and jeunet tackles the proceedings with giddy abandon . 
the alien , after all these years , is still terrifying , and a new breed that is introduced is no less so . 
the violence is appropriately grisly and extreme , and the action set pieces are suspenseful and exciting , most notably an extended underwater sequence . 
the film is absolutely mesmerizing visually , thanks to the solid work done by production designer nigel phelps and cinematographer darius khondji . 
as technically adept as jeunet's direction is , perhaps his ( and , for that matter , whedon's ) greatest contribution is the infusion of humor into this notably downbeat and serious series . 
a sense of humor may seem to go against everything this horror show stands for , but the self-awareness of the excess just adds to the fun . 
no , alien resurrection is not the great film that ridley scott's alien or the even greater film that james cameron's aliens was . 
but after the dauntingly slow gloom and doom of fincher's alien3 , jeunet's resurrection is a welcome return to its roots as a wild , reckless thrill ride . 
that is what made the alien series so popular in the first place , and that is what will keep the series popular in any future installments . 
"
"1","most sequels don't do what they're supposed to do like "" toy story 2 "" does . 
far too many of them end up re-hashing the original and adding very little . 
is it any wonder that most sequels fail to live up to their predecessors ? 
thankfully , "" toy story 2 "" is a wonderful exception . 
i can't remember the last time i saw a sequel as consistently fun and inventive as this one . 
it's yet another sign that pixar , the acclaimed animation studio behind "" toy story "" and "" a bug's life , "" is still at the top of its game . 
woody and buzz are back in the sequel to the 1995 hit "" toy story , "" and things have changed a bit since the last one ended . 
woody ( voiced by tom hanks ) is preparing to leave with his owner andy for cowboy camp . 
in his absence , he has assigned buzz lightyear ( tim allen ) , now comfortable in his role as a toy , to take charge . 
unfortunately , woody's trip is ruined when he is accidentally put into the family garage sale , and is stolen by an over-zealous toy collector ( wayne knight ) . 
off to save him are buzz and members of the old "" toy gang , "" including mr . potato head ( don rickles ) , rex the nervous dinosaur ( wallace shawn ) , hamm the piggy bank ( john ratzenberger ) , and slinky dog ( jim varney ) . 
while in captivity , woody makes a startling discovery : he is actually part of a collection of toys based on a 1950's children's show entitled "" woody's roundup . "" 
he meets the show's other characters , which include jesse ( joan cusack ) , his cowgirl sidekick , the wise old prospector ( kelsey grammer ) , and bullseye , his trusty horse . 
they have all been anxiously awaiting woody's arrival , as once their set is completed , they will be sold to a japanese toy museum , and finally escape storage forever . 
this means woody now faces a difficult choice . 
with his friends coming to rescue him , does he go with them and spend a few more years with andy , or does he go to japan and be immortalized forever ? 
as in the original film , "" toy story 2 "" contains first-rate animation , and pixar studios has done a remarkable job improving on the impressive work they did there . 
reportedly , the film was originally slated for a direct-to-video release , but after seeing the improvements that had been made , disney rightly decided to release it into theaters . 
the film is well worth seeing on the big screen . 
the colors are bright , the textures sharp , and even the human characters look more "" human . "" 
the animation is consistently seamless , with the action fast and furious and the facial expressions believable . 
there are so many impressive sequences that i'd find it impossible to list them here , but i was particularly wowed by a scene where buzz and his cohorts must get across a busy intersection to get to al' s toy barn , the store owned by woody's captor . 
pixar's rendition of the family dog is also nicely done , with fur so realistic you almost feel you could reach out and touch it . 
the voice work is also perfectly complementary , and as with the first movie , does much to help further character development . 
tom hanks and tim allen again disappear into their roles as woody and buzz , making you forget who is doing the voice . 
it was woody and buzz up there , not tom and tim . 
all the cast members from the original reprise their roles , and each is excellent . 
several new voices have been added , with joan cusack , kelsey grammer , and wayne knight doing fine work . 
 "" toy story 2 "" is strong in characterization , and is able to expand on what we saw in the first movie . 
woody faces difficult choices , while buzz is confronted with a new buzz who hasn't yet realized his status as a toy , forcing him to see what he used to be like . 
the new characters are also developed quite well , especially jesse , who narrates a sarah mclachlan-aided flashback illustrating how she was loved , then forgotten by her owner . 
it may be computer-animated , and it may have sappy music , but it's downright touching . 
the script , despite having a story and screenplay each credited to four different writers , is endlessly clever and inventive , especially considering that it's a sequel . 
the reason "" toy story 2 "" works where other movie sequels fail is that it refuses to just capitalize on the original's success by re-doing the same story and using the same characters . 
not this one . 
we get character change , new characters , and new issues brought up . 
 "" toy story 2 "" is also remarkable for the way in which it keeps reinventing itself . 
there is always another clever idea waiting just around the corner here . 
the humor is sharp and witty , with something to amuse both kids and adults . 
there are funny asides to films such as "" star wars "" and "" jurassic park , "" among others , new takes on classic toys like barbie and rock 'em sock 'em robots , and appearances from other pixar efforts "" a bug's life "" and the 1997 short "" geri 's game . "" 
 ( geri himself makes an appearance as a toy repairman who fixes woody's broken arm . ) 
the action is fast and furious , and the chases ( in the street , in a toy store , in an elevator , on a baggage carousel , and in an airplane ) keep getting bigger and better . 
 "" toy story 2 "" never grows stagnant , because there is always something new to hold your interest . 
the more you pay attention to it , the more rewarding it is . 
it's rare to see a film like "" toy story 2 "" come along , because it's the kind of film that's almost impossible to dislike . 
it's created purely to entertain , and though i enjoy a thought-provoking drama as much as the next person , it's nice to see that films are still trying to do exactly what movies first tried to do : send us out with a smile . 
it's a fair bet that the whole family will have smiles on their collective faces after seeing "" toy story 2 . "" it's the rare sequel that manages to expand on , and live up to , the original . 
"
"1","expectation rating : a bit worse than expected ( mainly because i found the middle part to be a bit dull ) . 
roger ebert gave it a four star review , and while he is a critic that uses the full scale , and i often agree -- such as dark city being the best film of 1998 , he must have seen a better film . 
i read the book about five years ago and hugely enjoyed it . 
the opening of a simple plan reminded me a bit of the sweet hereafter . 
the landscape is snowy and cold , and is filmed what i feel is in a rather crisp manner ( which also reminds me of fargo ( which i loathed ) ) . 
one can almost sense the cold . 
but the movie far from the eye popping delights of the quick and the dead , instead raimi has made a more constrained film -- which probably is for the better . 
this is probably not a movie that would have been improved by lots of odd shots . 
the movie also reminded me of affliction , as the lead characters all seem to be hoping for and seeing a possibility to lead a better life than their father , and they see a chance for such a dream to come true . 
this chance is uncovered in a snow covered field , where an airplane has crash landed . 
in the plane three men find ? the american dream . . . 
in a gym bag . ? 
affliction too was set in a snowy landscape . 
it really seems very simple . 
just hold on to the money until spring , and if no one claims it , they'll be safe to spend it and their hope of experiencing the american dream can come true . 
but the snow melts , and so might several of the character's hopes . 
as in ? return to paradise ? , some of the characters are presented with a chance to do the right thing . 
but doing the right thing might not result in a better result than something more selfish . 
the movie's biggest strength is that it fact makes sense . 
i have seen many movies based on books that just seem like selected scenes from the book visualized , eschewing anything remotely resembling a coherent story -- for example clear and present danger . 
the biggest problem seems to over-familiarization with the story . 
the writer perhaps feels that he doesn't have to present scenes that are clear to him , but the lack of which only baffles an audience which has not read the book . 
this is definitely not the problem with a simple plan , even though the screenplay is by the book's author . 
the movie is always clear on where it's going , and always makes sense . 
i'm sue a lot was cut , but really i can't remember what . 
even a minor scene involving a man complaining that he has paid for too much grains is included . 
the man only comes in on mondays , but he claims that he has been charged for one purchase too many . 
turns out . . . 
well , see the movie . 
one should be warned against seeing the trailer . 
it reveals several scenes from the ending moments ( which yes , like in the book , it is a downer ) , several plot developments , and much of the beginning . 
but much of this is not spelled directly out during the trailer , so if you're lucky , you'll have forgotten about all of this when you see the movie . 
"
"1","it is simply amazing how "" the green mile "" developed in its three hour running time . 
based on the stephen king series of the same title , the film starts out painfully slow , with underdeveloped characters and idiotic dialogue . 
however , as the plot begins to progress , the film turns into pure perfection with outstanding performances and wonderful direction . 
frank darabont , who masterfully followed a prisoner's story in "" the shawshank redemption "" , this time follows the perspective of a prison guard , paul edgecomb ( tom hanks ) . 
through edgecomb's experiences on a cell block known as the green mile where death row prisoners wait and repent , the audience sees good and evil on both sides of the law . 
from an evil prison guard to an evil prisoner , "" the green mile "" is successful in creating sympathy for kind-hearted hard working guards and hard thinking prisoners . 
the plot follows edgecomb and four other guards as they meet a variety of prisoners and after having strong relationships with each eventually are forced to execute them . 
the performances by veterans and new comers to back up these original characters are superb . 
the ensemble acting in the film is perfect . 
hanks , david morse and barry pepper as guards are wonderful and are fitting for their roles . 
they are the characters we most relate to because of their calm less extreme roles . 
they are given the positions to make rational decisions at difficult times and they are the ones who fulfill the demands of the audience . 
the more unique characters perfectly create friction on the green mile and make the story interesting and exciting . 
some particularly note worthy roles of the unique characters include doug hutchinson , sam rockwell , and michael duncan . 
hutchinson , playing percy wetmore , a cowardly guard who hides his true feelings by tormenting others gives the greatest performance of the movie . 
every time he appears on the screen , the attitude of others is very uncomfortable and the creepy expressions he is able to create are effectively terrifying . 
it would come as no surprise if hutchinson was nominated for an academy award as best supporting actor , not only because he did a wonderful job as wetmore , but also because he stole every scene he was in away from veteran oscar winner tom hanks . 
rockwell , an independent film veteran , plays his role as wild bill wharton to perfection . 
as a prisoner who taunts and harasses the guards at all hours , he really gets under your skin and irritates you for having to watch him torture others . 
this irritation he creates makes his performance so believable . 
the last noteworthy performance belongs to duncan , as the enormous convicted killer john coffey who happens to hold the power of curing the ill . 
duncan does a wonderful job playing a frightened child-like behemoth , very similar to lennie small in of mice and men . 
his desire for love and the extinction of hate evokes the most compassion because it is very obvious that he is suffering for no just cause . 
his pain creates pain for the viewer . 
however , it takes over an hour for duncan to be introduced completely in the film . 
the film opens with a ridiculous present day setting which contains a scene that jabs at "" the jerry springer show . "" 
the scene , containing one old man complaining about how all guests on the show are inbred and rednecks . 
not only is this observation entirely pointless and out of place , but it is also hackneyed beyond all belief . 
as the film flashes back to 1935 , graham greene is quickly executed without any introduction . 
his death seems very rushed and without any knowledge of who he is , the scene is neither sad nor convincing . 
greene is not even given a final word , like some of the other characters , and we don't even see him walk the infamous green mile . 
however , as the film begins to specifically introduce more characters , such as coffey and eduard delacroix ( michael jeter ) as well as the five prison guards , the film becomes more interesting . 
the speed in "" the green mile "" is perfect . 
if time was a matter of concern and the film was edited to the two hour mark , it would have been unsatisfactory because we would not be able to know the characters as they are or as they treat others . 
the three hour running is perfect for plot development and by the end of the film , a great amount of love or hate is attached to each character . 
 "" the green mile "" is so good following the rough beginning , that when the pivotal moment at the very end finally comes , it is almost impossible not to feel some sort of sadness for every person in this scene . 
fighting back tears was a difficult task that i barely succeeded in doing . 
if you survive the first third of "" the green mile "" sit back and enjoy the remainder for some priceless entertainment . 
"
"1","the jekyll and hyde story told from his maid's point of view is , in a word , "" dark "" . 
you wouldn't expect something bright and cheery based on robert louis stevenson's novel , but the film is surprisingly dreary and dismal . 
jekyll/hyde ( john malkovich ) is terminally depressed and desperate . 
mary reilly ( julia roberts ) is a victim of monstrous child abuse and the anti-woman sentiment of the times . 
director stephen fears' version of the london slums makes us marvel that anyone survived them . 
the lighting level is exceedingly low throughout the movie : it almost appears to be filmed in black and white . 
the direction and cinematography are brilliant and liquid . 
scenes flow into the next scene like honey oozing off a strawberry . 
 ( except there's no red , of course . ) 
the look is so moody and melodramatic that you'll be shocked when you leave the theater . 
i saw it at a matinee and took quite a while to adjust to the sunny skies afterward . 
often the jekyll and hyde archetypes are viewed as splitting a whole person into components of good and evil or perhaps cerebral and emotional parts . 
here the doctor is intellectual and perhaps good , but certainly powerless . 
his alter ego is forceful and totally without conscience . 
two parts that make up a whole . 
neither are capable of functioning without the other and once separated , disaster is inevitable . 
the differences between the two characters would be more effective if it were accomplished by demeanor and attitude . 
when we finally see the transformation , the special effects thrust the story into the realm of science fiction , not the psychological horror that the tale demands . 
roberts and malkovich are skillful in their roles . 
both are suitably melancholy , fitting in with the rest of the film . 
the only flash of life and color comes from glenn close ( and her lips ) as the madam of a whorehouse where hyde lives , and surprisingly , jekyll apparently frequents . 
life and color maybe , but this is not close's best role . 
she seems little more than a cardboard cutout character . 
a beautiful film in its own dreary way . 
you'll appreciate the filmmaking craft , but don't expect to leave in an upbeat mood . 
"
"1","aggressive , bleak , and unrelenting film about an interracial couple , steve and sam ( damon jones and elexa williams respectively ) , who are viciously attacked in a parking garage one night by a gang of skinheads . 
the skinheads beat steve , then force him to watch as they brutally rape his girlfriend over and over again . 
when sam kills herself later that evening , steve decides that the skinheads must be taught a lesson . 
waiting seven months for the thuggish skinheads to forget about the incident entirely , steve shaves his head , dresses in combat boots and suspenders , tattoos his flesh with nazi symbols , and tries to infiltrate the gang . 
as he gets closer and closer to the people who committed the horrible crime against his girlfriend , he begins to learn just how vicious these people really are and starts to question his own motives for violence . 
randolph kret's script , based on two real life incidents that affected not only his life but the life of the film's producer shaun hill , is an affront on violence and intolerance . 
the film causes its audience to be subjected to such brutality and ignorance that one can't help but be disgusted by the events presented within . 
i've seen it said that this is the film fight club should have been , but david fincher's film was trying to define a generation . 
kret's film is a wake up call to a generation and his message is a powerful one . 
if fincher is the kubrick of our generation , then kret is our d . w . 
griffith ( thematically speaking ) . 
there is not a single likable character in the film . 
the skinheads are obviously the most repulsive characters in the film , not only because of their beliefs but because they are in a constant state of fury ( not just against other races but within their own circles ) . 
the african-american characters in the film are constantly shown as sexually assaulting drug abusers who are always on a joyride looking for someone to accost . 
even gay men get in on the act , locating the skinheads' lair and beating them severely with lead pipes and other blunt objects . 
the main character steve is also unlikable because of the person he becomes just to seek out revenge . 
what all of this comes down to is the simple message that violence begets violence , and the constant clashes between factions will do nothing but continue the endless cycle of violence inherent in our society . 
the cast of this film is absolutely remarkable . 
damon jones shows a raw energy that many actors can't seem to summon these days and his performance seems nothing less than powerful . 
his initial reaction to hearing about his girlfriend's suicide is one of the most affecting scenes i have ever seen in a film . 
david lee wilson , who plays ( appropriately enough ) david lee is accurately evil as the second in command skinhead who also makes extra money performing oral sex on other men ( an irony that seems lost on the other skinheads ) . 
wilson's character is pure hatred and he brings out this hate perfectly . 
sadly , actor dave ward , who portrays the character of crew , will not be able to follow up his excellent performance as he was the victim of a vicious act of violence himself at the hands of a fellow actor during an incident of road rage . 
ward showed immense promise and he will be greatly missed . 
note : it is a shame that the filmmakers had to add a disclaimer to the end of the film stating that neither they nor the musicians contributing music for the film condone racism . 
the message about hatred couldn't be spelled out any more clearly than it is here , but there are those who would probably find this film much more akin to a training video than a condemnation . 
there are no "" winners "" at the end of this film either . 
no character gets his or her comeuppance and the ending leaves us almost right where we began . 
where american history x had redemption for most of its characters , no such victories are in store for pariah's band of twisted souls . 
it is this bleak ending that carries the film's most powerful message : the message that , despite what you may be able to momentarily do to put your own mind to rest , evil will still be with us ( and in many forms ) and there is very little than can be done to eradicate it entirely . 
"
"1","gothic murder-mystery yarns are not a new conceit . 
in fact , they've been around in books and on film for many , many years . 
without the proper handling , they come off as old-fashioned , bland , and outdated . 
 "" the gift , "" directed by sam raimi , is a tried-and-true effort that surprises very little , and includes everything from a wide array of suspects and red herrings , to mansions in the deep south with moss trees out front , to the eventual discovery of a waterlogged corpse found in a nearby pond . 
it's fairly obvious who the killer is ; in fact , i predicted who it would be before the movie began and was correct in my preliminary suspicions . 
the film ultimately shouldn't work , but it does , thanks to a sparkling cast that fills each character with so many memorable nuances , the most fun to be had is in simply watching the people interact with each other . 
annie wilson ( cate blanchett ) is a recently widowed mother of three sons who makes her living giving psychic readings to the residents of her backwater southern hometown . 
some of her mainstay clients include valerie barksdale ( hilary swank ) , who is severely abused by her husband donnie ( keanu reeves ) , and buddy cole ( giovanni ribisi ) , an unstable mechanic who is confused by the nightmares he's been having about a mysterious blue diamond that is somehow linked to his father . 
for annie , she does not give the readings merely for money , but uses it as a way of seeking solace in finding the good in everyone's future . 
her late grandmother ( rosemary harris ) told her as a child that it was a gift she was given , and she should always remember that . 
when annie's eldest son is involved in a fight at school , she meets the nice-guy school principal , wayne collins ( greg kinnear ) , whom she finds herself attracted to . 
but wayne is engaged to the wealthy jessica king ( katie holmes ) , whom annie immediately gets a negative vibe about . 
at a party with her best friend linda ( kim dickens ) , annie stumbles upon jessica in a compromising position with lawyer david duncan ( gary cole ) . 
soon after , jessica has disappeared , leaving everyone in a frenzy over what could have possibly happened to her , and annie starts to have nightmares and apparitions linking jessica with the vicious redneck donnie barksdale , and the pond behind his home . 
 "" the gift "" may be cliched on a sheer storytelling level , but the performances and tight direction from raimi ( who has redeemed himself for his embarrassing last film , 1999's "" for love of the game "" ) lift the picture up several notches . 
slowly enveloping the viewer into the many intriguing characters and their individual plights , the disappearance of jessica at the 30-minute mark divulges the movie's true intentions and transforms the proceedings into a taut , at times frightening , horror-mystery . 
at the center of the film is the exceptional cate blanchett ( 1999's "" the talented mr . ripley "" ) , who turns annie wilson from what could have been little more than a run-of-the-mill protagonist into a very exact , down-to-earth , realistic person with valid troubles and a caring attitude towards those around her . 
blanchett takes the unextraordinary material and runs with it , giving the entire film a truly classy aura that it otherwise might not have had . 
we follow her at every turn because she is so mesmerizing , both as a character and an actress . 
blanchett isn't the only bright performer , as she is ably supported by one of the best casts of the year . 
in her first role following her oscar win for 1999's "" boys don't cry , "" hilary swank is excellent as the confused valerie , who seeks guidance from annie , but is too scared to take her biggest advice of all : to leave the grossly abusive donnie . 
as donnie , keanu reeves ( 2000's "" the watcher "" ) makes an utterly convincing backwoods meanie , so much so that it is difficult to believe he is an actor at all . 
for the often-criticized reeves , whose acting abilities have never been the best , this is the biggest compliment he could possibly get , and it is also one of the better performances he has given . 
giovanni ribisi ( 2000's "" the boiler room "" ) is heartbreaking as a mentally slow young man who sees annie as his only friend , and wants her to do nothing but help him understand why he is being plagued by bad dreams about his dad . 
in the small , but pivotal role of the sleazy jessica king , katie holmes ( 2000's "" wonder boys "" ) has turned in yet another stunning supporting turn . 
her promiscuous role of jessica is one she has never played before , and she is radiant in her few scenes . 
finally , kim dickens ( 2000's "" hollow man "" ) makes her usual strong impression as annie's spicy best friend , linda . 
the other notable aspect of "" the gift "" is its moody atmosphere that lays such a thickly foreboding air over every scene it's almost suffocating . 
thanks to cleverly construed editing by arthur coburn and bob murawski , and the successful use of different eerie sounds effects and a very good music score by christopher young , the movie not only achieves a scary undercurrent , but one that is filled with dread . 
helped along by a strong screenplay by billy bob thornton and tom epperson , which makes the most of its setting and delightful cast , "" the gift "" is that rarest of thrillers that actually thrills , and offers up a fair share of chills , too . 
it may not be groundbreakingly original , but it sure is an entertaining ride for the duration of its running time . 
"
"1","one of the best things about my job is that , every so often , a film still catches me by surprise . 
 "" spy kids "" certainly did . 
an adventure story aimed primarily at children , the movie is smart , zippy fun . 
the production neither panders nor talks down to its audience . 
the brother and sister at the center of the tale are believable , likable kids and their parents are ? get ready for this ? intelligent , capable and loving . 
bathroom humor is kept to a minimum and the numerous well-staged action scenes avoid excessive violence . 
what a relief it is to be able to review an all-ages film on its artistic merits and not its ethics . 
consider the other pg rated "" family friendly "" movie in theaters now . 
 "" see spot run "" has a mother going out of town , leaving her son with an idiot neighbor . 
body function humor abounds , including a slapstick bit that has the adult male lead repeatedly falling in dog poop . 
what really disturbs me are the jokes that bookend the film . 
the story begins with a police dog capturing a mobster and biting off one of his testicles in the process . 
at the hospital , the doctors explain that they replaced the testicle with a metal ball and joke that the victim is lucky the dog didn't bit off the other one , because two metal replacement balls would clack together . 
of course , the movie ends with the dog biting off the remaining testicle and shows prisoners laughing at the criminal as he clacks past their cells . 
somebody clue me in ? when did genital mutilation become funny ? 
 "" spy kids "" is a welcome antidote to the repellent "" see spot run , "" using imagination instead of cruelty and crudeness . 
carmen ( alexa vega ) and her younger brother juni ( daryl sabara ) live in a beautiful seaside home with their parents , gregorio ( antonio banderas ) and ingrid cortez ( carla gugino ) . 
mom and dad are a sultry couple devoted to their children . 
what the kids don't know is that they are also former spies . 
once agents from different countries assigned to "" erase "" each other , they instead fell in love , married and retired to raise a family . 
needless to say , they get drawn back to the business . 
shortly into their first joint mission , they are captured and end up in the headquarters of fegan floop ( alan cumming ) , a foppish hybrid of willy wonka and pee wee herman who hosts juni's favorite tv show . 
but there is evil behind the scenes , as inventors prepare an army of robots disguised as children . 
papa gregorio has the device necessary to radically increase the efficiency of the creatures and the bad guys will stop at nothing to get it from him . 
back at home , "" uncle "" felix ( cheech marin ) shows up to reveal mom and dad's secret to the kids . 
after a brief respite at a safe house filled with enough cool gadgets for a dozen sharper image stores , carmen and juni set off to find their parents and save the world , zooming through the sea in a submarine pod that looks like a goldfish , while a slew of wicked people ( including teri hatcher ) chase them . 
during the course of their adventures , they get to use jet packs , electroshock bubblegum and super-computer sunglasses . 
they watch as secret agents are transformed into bizarre creatures with silly putty faces and used as background characters on floop's tv show . 
they deal with guards that have huge thumbs where their arms , legs and heads would normally be ( why are the guards so ineffective ? 
because they're all thumbs ! ) 
they move from one colorful locale to another , including a nifty virtual reality room reminiscent of the holodeck from "" star trek . "" 
the storyline is silly and convoluted , but even at its most dense , it is easier to follow than either "" mission : impossible "" movie . 
director robert rodriguez ( "" from dusk to dawn "" ) maintains a frenetic pace , with the whole film clocking in at a mere 86 minutes . 
a bit less action and a little more character development would have been nice , but he does provide enough quiet moments for viewers to become fully invested in the family . 
alexa vega and daryl sabara make an agreeable brother and sister team , squabbling the way kids do , but coming together when it counts . 
antonio banderas and carla gugino are even better as the parents ; they quickly establish and maintain a great lusty chemistry while keeping their tongues properly in cheek during the action scenes . 
even the usually irritating alan cumming has some nice moments ? a virtual cloud-backed chat between his character and juni is one of the best segments in the film . 
had rodriguez added a few more scenes like that , i would have enjoyed the film more ( and i definitely could have lived without the glaring product placement for a certain mc-ubiquitous company ) . 
regardless , "" spy kids "" is a hoot , offering fun for adults and children alike . 
and just think , they managed to do it without sacrificing a single testicle . 
"
"1","of all the films i've come to see this year ( 1997 ) , i think only chasing amy had as many "" laugh-out-loud "" moments . 
i'm not saying that i was hysterically rolling on the floor while watching waiting for guffman , but my mouth burst open with at least a delighted guffaw at least every couple of minutes . 
and i think i'm the kind of person that laughs least at movies , even when i find them funny . 
usually all you can get out of me is a warm smile , so to get me laughing out loud , and so frequently , is a really good sign . 
waiting for guffman is the story of blaine , missouri , a town celebrating it's 150th anniversary , and the musical that is being put on for the big event . 
the play is being directed by corky st . clair ( christopher guest , who also wrote and directed this "" mockumentary "" as well as co-writing several original musical numbers ) , the effeminate broadway hopeful determined to make this production a smashing success . 
teaming up with st . clair are a handful of blaine residents : allan pearl ( eugene levy ) , a jewish dentist who spent his youth not as the class clown , but sitting right next to him and studying him , ron and sheila albertson ( fred willard and catherine o'hara respectively ) , a married couple setting their sights on hollywood , libby mae brown ( parker posey ) , the dense but fun queen of the dairy queen , and a few others . 
everybody in this movie is brilliant , absolutely so , but levy particularly stands out . 
these characters are portrayed with such saddening realism that you can't help but love them , as pathetic as they really are . 
although levy stands out , guest , willard , o'hara , and posey are all wonderful and definitely should be commended for their performances ! 
if there was an oscar for an ensemble performance , this is the group that should sweep it . 
some humor was a tad uneven from the rest of the film and , even after starting very humorously , they nearly lost me with the tad-too-long intros . 
as delightful as it was , it began to get monotonous . 
thankfully , just as your about to say "" ok , maybe i should run to the bathroom "" , they finally get past the intros and onto the rehearsal scenes . 
like a play , this film gives a very three-act feel , the intros ( funny , but almost too long ) , the rehearsals ( even funnier ) , and finally , the actual performance of the play ( excellent ! ) . 
like i said , each character really shines , even when done with a subtle approach . 
you can't really watch these people and not think they're real people ! 
even they way they talk , with awkward pauses and stumbles that don't feel staged at all , you feel like you're watching a real , albeit funny , documentary . 
and even with silly lyrics , the original songs when the play is finally put on , are absolutely wonderful ! 
as a word of note , despite it's "" r "" rating , waiting for guffman is really quite clean . 
this rating came from a brief , very brief use of the grand-daddy of all swear words . 
even if that really bothers you , let me say that it's not presented in a vulgar , cheap-laugh way . 
it's actually quite humorous and tastefully done ! 
it might be hard knowing what to expect with waiting for guffman . 
it's silly humor , but it's also so dry , subtle , and intelligently done that you're not insulted by it . 
it's always really nice to see a comedy that isn't all slapstick and vulgarity , and this film is one of the better ones of the better ones ! 
i'd recommend seeing it ! 
"
"1","in essence , good will hunting is an ordinary story told well . 
taken as a whole , there's little that's special about this tale -- it follows a traditional narrative path , leaves the audience with a warm , fuzzy feeling , and never really challenges or surprises us . 
but it's intelligently written ( with dialogue that is occasionally brilliant ) , strongly directed , and nicely acted . 
so , while good will hunting is far from a late-year masterpiece , it's a worthwhile sample of entertainment . 
like scent of a woman , which was released around this time of the season five years ago , good will hunting is about the unlikely friendship that develops between a world-weary veteran and a cocky young man . 
the formula for the two films is similar -- both of the principals learn from each other as they slowly break down their barriers on the way to a better understanding of life and their place in it -- but the characters are different . 
al pacino's slade was a larger-than-life individual ; robin williams' sean mcguire is much more subtle . 
and matt damon's will hunting uses pugnaciousness to supplant the blandness of chris o'donnell's charlie . 
will is a troubled individual . 
as a child , he was the frequent victim of abuse . 
an orphan , he was in and out of foster homes on a regular basis . 
now , not yet 21 years old , he has accumulated an impressive rap sheet . 
he has a short temper and any little incident can set him off like a spark in a tinder box . 
but he's a mathematical genius with a photographic memory and the ability to conceive simple solutions to complex problems . 
while working as a janitor at mit , he delights in anonymously proving theorems on the math building's hall blackboards . 
then , one evening , his anonymity is shattered when professor lambeau ( stellan skarsgard ) catches him at work . 
will flees , but lambeau tracks him down . 
unfortunately , by the time the professor finds him , will is in jail for assaulting a police offer . 
the judge agrees to release will under two conditions : that he spend one day a week meeting with lambeau and that he spend one day a week meeting with a therapist . 
eventually , once several psychologists have rejected the belligerent young man , sean mcguire , a teacher at bunker hill community college , agrees to take the case . 
after a rocky start , the two form a rapport and will begins to explore issues and emotions he had walled up behind impregnable armor . 
and , as will advances his self-awareness in sessions with sean , he also learns about friendship from his buddy , chuckie ( ben affleck ) , and love from a harvard co-ed named skylar ( minnie driver ) . 
the script , by co-stars matt damon and ben affleck , is not a groundbreaking piece of literature , and occasionally resorts to shameless manipulation . 
the characters are well-developed , however , and there are times when the dialogue positively sparkles . 
at one point , will comments that a session with sean is turning into a "" taster's choice moment . "" 
later , will gives a brilliant , breathless diatribe against the nsa that has the rhythm of something written by kevin smith . 
 ( note : since smith co-executive produced good will hunting , it's not out of the question that he had some input into this scene . ) 
director gus van sant ( drugstore cowboy , to die for ) culls genuine emotion from his actors , and this results in several affecting and powerful scenes . 
there's an edginess to some of the sean/will therapy sessions , and the offscreen chemistry between matt damon and minnie driver ( who became romantically linked while making this film ) translates effectively to the movie -- the will/skylar relationship is electric . 
likewise , the companionability of damon and affleck is apparent in the easygoing nature of will and chuckie's friendship . 
many of the individual scenes are strong enough to earn good will hunting a recommendation , even if the overall story is somewhat generic . 
matt damon , who recently starred as the idealistic young lawyer in the rainmaker , is solid ( although not spectacular ) as will . 
minnie driver ( last seen in grosse pointe blank ) adds another strong performance to a growing resume ( and it's refreshing that she was allowed to keep her british accent rather than having to attempt an american one ) . 
the outstanding performance of the film belongs to robin williams , whose sean is sad and wise , funny and somber . 
arguably the best dramatic work in the actor's career ( alongside what he did in the fisher king ) , williams' portrayal could earn him a best supporting actor oscar nomination . 
adequate support is provided by ben affleck ( chasing amy ) and stellan skarsgard ( breaking the waves ) . 
like most of what comes before it , the ending of good will hunting is completely predictable . 
but meeting expectations and following a familiar path aren't always bad things in a movie , provided the film accomplishes those goals with a modicum of style and an attention to detail . 
good will hunting does both , and , as a result , earns a rating commensurate with the "" good "" in the title . 
"
"1","clue is an unfairly ignored comedy , very similar to 1976's murder by death . 
this big screen version of the classic board game ( what's next . . . 
chutes and ladders : the motion picture ? ) is filled with slapstick antics and silly dialogue . 
the plot , for what it's worth , has all the characters from the game ( in this case , the names from the game are used as aliases ) meeting in an isolated mansion to confront mr . boddy ( lee ving ) , the man who's been blackmailing them all . 
when he turns up dead , everyone ( including the audience ) must figure out whodunnit . . . 
and in what room , and with what object . 
while not as witty as neil simon's murder by death , clue definitely has it moments . 
it has so many moments in fact that i use a lot of the lines from the film when i'm joking around with my friends . 
to this day , whenever someone says the phrase "" well , to make a long story short "" i have the follow up phrase "" too late "" ready to go . 
the cast ( all very good comedic talents ) play well off one another , while the late madeline kahn ( as the dark and sultry mrs . white ) sometimes steals the film away from the rest . 
and colleen camp , as the french maid yvette , displays some of her natural talents as well . 
clue is available on dvd from paramount home video . 
it includes the film in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1 . 85 : 1 ( and is enhanced for 16x9 televisions ) and features the original theatrical trailer . 
a french language audio track is also available . 
the trailer holds up well considering most previews from that time do not , and it even includes a scene not in the film itself ( a scene that should have been in the film , as it's a good joke ) . 
also , the trailer is scored to the music from airplane ! , which was an interesting choice . 
when clue played in theaters , it ran with the gimmick of three different endings . 
if you wanted to see all three , you had to go to the movies three separate times . 
so when the film was released on home video , rather than releasing three separate videos , all three endings were included on one tape . . . 
the first two endings being "" what if ? "" 
endings and the third ending being the actual ending . 
now for the dvd release you get two choices . 
you can watch the film as it was presented on home video or you can select to watch it with one of the three endings randomly chosen for you . 
 ( note : there's an easter egg hidden in the disc pertaining to this . 
after watching the film with a randomly selected ending , when you return to the menu screen you will be able to highlight the large magnifying glass and select it . 
when you do , a secret menu opens , allowing you to watch any of the three endings by themselves . ) 
now while i applaud the effort of paramount here , as they clearly tried to do something special with the disc , it just doesn't work well . 
first , why not give the viewer the choice of what ending we want to watch ? 
maybe someone like myself who's seen the movie hundreds of times would like to sit down and show it to someone with the second ending only . 
i'm no technical dvd expert , but i can't imagine that being too hard to accomplish . 
secondly , the delay between when the film itself ends and one of the endings begins is too long and too obvious , thereby becoming a distraction right when you definitely don't need a distraction . 
finally , the back of the dvd case states "" and now , with this special dvd version , you can see all 3 surprise endings "" . 
i have no idea why they would word it that way , since that's not a special feature in the slightest . 
the video has been out for fifteen years now ( good lord , has it been that long ? ) and it's played on television with all three endings all the time . 
these are merely minor complaints however , seeing that i've watched the home video version hundreds of times and have no problem watching the film as such on the dvd . 
the picture and sound are wonderfully improved over my worn out vhs copy , and i'm thrilled that paramount agrees with me that clue is a film worthy of being preserved on this great digital format . 
[pg] 
"
"1","the dream team is a thoroughly entertaining comedy featuring four loveable characters who just happen to be slightly insane . 
billy , played by michael keaton , is an extremely temperamental mental ward patient whose short fuse and violent tantrums tend to get him in trouble . 
christopher lloyd portrays henry , an obsessive-compulsive who requires that everything be neat , orderly , on schedule , and by the books . 
he thinks he's a doctor so he walks around wearing a suit and carrying a clipboard on which he constantly scribbles notes and files reports . 
jack , played by peter boyle , thinks he's jesus . 
and finally , there's stephen furst as albert , a chubby catatonic who speaks only in baseball and television phrases . 
the dream team follows the misadventures that beset the four-some when their psychiatrist , dr . weitzman , takes them out of the hospital for a field trip to yankee stadium . 
during a pit stop , they get separated from weitzman and are left to fend for themselves in manhattan . 
the movie's charm derives mostly from the camaraderie and chemistry between its delightful cast . 
the four leads in the film play off each other quite effectively ; they never miss an opportunity to argue , bicker , or insult one another . 
henry and jack , for example , fight over who's going to get to ride in the front passenger seat on the way to the game . 
the actors in the dream team have a lot of fun with their characters and with each other . 
michael keaton is well cast as billy ; he gives his cynical character considerable complexity . 
as the divinely jack , peter boyle succeeds in keeping his one-dimensional character funny and fresh . 
although stephen furst's catatonic character is cliched , the actor makes him sympathetic and endearing . 
while keaton , boyle , and furst are good , it's christopher lloyd who really makes the movie special . 
lloyd gives yet another outstanding comic performance . 
his body language ( for example , the way he walks ) and his facial expressions are perfectly suited to his compulsive character . 
lloyd's brilliant performance yields a pathetic , moving , and memorable character . 
the dream team is a solid comedy with more depth and drama than you might expect from its simple premise . 
the characters are so appealing that you can excuse the film for its often outlandish and unbelievable plot . 
"
"1","people who enjoy science fiction are often faced with unpleasant surprises due to the improper labelling of novels , stories , comic books or movies . 
often science fiction aficionados find material , previously labelled as science fiction , to be pure fantasy or supernatural horror , or rather simple techno-thriller . 
in such cases , mistakes are understandable - genre boundaries are never clearly marked . 
but , i believe there are really few cases when a movie labelled as science fiction actually happens to be straight historical epic . 
such thing occurred in former yugoslavia some fifteen years ago , when national distributors gave such treatment to the right stuff , 1983 film directed by philip kaufman . 
the mistake of the distributors could be explained with the fact that the official poster of the film features men in space suits . 
but the right stuff film isn't even fiction . 
it was based on the non-fiction book by tom wolfe , covering the early years of american space program . 
the plot of the film begins in 1947 when few people heard of edwards air force base , major test site for experimental planes . 
the major aim of test flights is to determine ability of manned aircraft to reach 1 mach speed and thus break the sound barrier . 
many pilots tried to achieve that goal and many paid with their lives for such bravado . 
but one quiet pilot , chuck eager ( played by sam shaped ) succeeds and thus gives example for whole new generation of test pilots , determined to enter history books by breaking new speed records . 
ten years later , soviets have launched "" sputnik "" marking the beginning of the space age . 
in order to regain national prestige , us government decides to be the first to send man into space . 
best air force , navy and marine pilots are recruited into program , but not yeager , because he lacks college education and desired all-american image . 
in one of critics' polls the right stuff was named as one among top 10 films made in 1980s . 
such high position could be explained with the fact that kaufman's film looks quite atypical for its time . 
with more than three hours of length and epic scope it looked more suitable for 1950s and 1960s - age when hollywood used to make films larger than life . 
but the real reason lies in the fact that it was made by truly remarkable and talented filmmaker . 
philip kaufman created reputation in 1970s by using all the opportunities of that golden age in order to create original , memorable movies . 
the right stuff was the last of them , swan song of an era when producers allowed directors to spend big bucks on unusual , risk-taking "" artsy "" projects . 
the right stuff is unusual because it lacks many standard elements of hollywood film . 
the plot is almost non-existent and not very coherent ; the story , featuring many interesting incidents and anecdotes , shifts focus from the old generation of test pilots , embodied in yeager , to new generation of the astronauts . 
the film also lacks conventional protagonist - yeager ( who also appears in small cameo ) remains the true hero of the film , but equal time and exposure is also given to other astronauts and their wives , making this movie into ensemble piece . 
that gave opportunity for kaufman to use multitude of great acting talents , until that specialised only for bit or character roles . 
sam shepard is great as yeager , war hero whose greatest achievement - breech of the sound barrier - remained obscured in history books , probably due to his own modesty . 
on the surface , he lacks personality compared with his hyped and more fortunate astronaut colleagues , but shepard gives texture to this character with subtle gestures and phrases . 
shepard's performance is followed with great acting by ed harris as clean-cut marine ( and future politician ) john glenn . 
young dennis quaid is more than fine as arrogant fighter jock gordo cooper , and this arrogance is mirrored in his friend and most tragic figure of virgil grissom , superbly played by fred ward . 
always reliable character actor scott glenn provides some comic relief as navy aviator and ( arguably ) first american man in space alan shepard . 
kaufman left room for female talents to excel too - barbara hershey , pamela reed , veronica cartwright and mary jo deschanel are great as pilots' wives . 
royal dano is also impressive as menacing figure of preacher , but the most memorable performances belong to donald moffat as vice-president lyndon b . johnson and jane dornacker as nurse murch . 
great acting talent assembled for this film was mirrored with kaufman's superb direction . 
most notable of all is the methods kaufman uses in order to suggest the passage of time . 
the beginning of the film shows test pilots living in the middle of desert , as virtual unknowns , far away from strict rules and discipline . 
everything seems natural -yeager can indulge himself in horse riding just few yards away from the fastest and most precious aircraft in the world . 
in that setting , it's quite normal for important technical problems to be solved with simple chainsaw and for the test pilots not to report their ribs being broken before most important flights . 
but the times are changing ; ww2 alliance with ussr is replaced with cold war , and "" natural "" pilots like yeager must be replaced with more disciplined , conventional pilots . 
their entire lives become focus of media frenzy , and their job is subjected to strict rules , meticulous plans and they must fight the bureaucrats , publicity-seeking politicians and uncaring scientists ( like former nazi rocket expert werner von braun , played by scott beach ) only to preserve their most basic human dignity . 
this contrast is underlined with the beautifully edited sequence - while yeager conducts his final and most spectacular test flight in absolute obscurity , "" mercury "" astronauts receive fame and fortune , although some of them even before going in the space . 
those contrasts and similar effects are achieved with kaufman's superb use of poetic movie language . 
editing is great , and photography by caleb deschanel provides many memorable scenes like the funeral in the desert or astronauts in their suits walking in slow motion ( the same image would be copied in many latter films ) . 
although kaufman enjoyed support of nasa and american military , which provided authentic locations and period equipment , he still had to use special effects in order to simulate space flights . 
those effects are excellent and they can still fool the audience accustomed to cgi and real footage of earth from outer space . 
another fine contribution of this film is "" oscar "" -awarded musical score by bill conti ; i still tremble from excitement every time i hear it . 
it is accompanied with the use of holst and debussy . 
some of the songs used in the background also provide authentic atmosphere of the historical period . 
this film is great , and its cult status is well deserved , but there are some minor flaws . 
some of the "" mercury "" astronauts aren't fleshed out enough ( although being played by fine actors , like lance henriksen ) . 
film also lacks proper closure . 
on the other hand , most logical conclusion of the film - landing on the moon - would require this film to be more than six hours long . 
also , some critics were prone to attack this film as too amerocentric and hard on russians , who were portrayed as evil monsters , just in line with most virulent cold war rhetoric of reagan's america . 
in some of contemporary interviews , kaufman defended that approach by claiming that he wanted to make film as authentic as possible , and in order to do that , he portrayed russians not as they were in real life , but as they were perceived by americans in early 1960s . 
time has passed ; now we don't see astronauts as heroes . 
in this age of widespread satellite communications and routine space missions , those men and women in space suits are seen as mere maintenance workers . 
few young boys want to be astronauts when they grow up . 
but this film , sentimental reminder of the times "" when future began "" , perhaps could encourage at least some of them to follow "" mercury "" astronauts' footsteps seek new frontiers in the sky . 
and even if they decide to stay on earth , they could still appreciate the right stuff as an extraordinary piece of cinema . 
"
"1","i find most of television so intensely boring that i simply never turn on my set , unless i'm watching a movie . 
i don't even have cable , so i went to radio shack to buy an antenna specifically for the purpose of watching "" the x-files "" every sunday night . 
it's the only show that's worth an hour of my time each week ( though , since i don't watch reruns , i'm glad that i have six months of the year to avoid television altogether ) . 
i am an avid fan of the show , and have been for about three years now . 
and i love gillian anderson . 
the x-files is the film that continues the story where the season finale left off . 
the film is like a two-hour episode , except that there are a lot more special effects , the plot is thicker , and the resolution is more satisfying . 
this is a terrific film , both for fans of the series and for those who have never seen it ( i imagine that viewers unfamiliar with the show will find the film to be solid and riveting entertainment ) . 
i expected to like it more than any episode i've seen , and my expectations were met . 
actually , the film takes a few risks in its story and plot devices , but , thankfully , the makers managed to do it right . 
when the finale ended , the fbi branch known as the x-files had been destroyed , and our heroes , mulder ( david duchovny ) and scully ( gillian anderson ) were left stripped of five years of hard work . 
the film picks up soon after ; and mulder and scully have been reduced to field agents investigating a bomb threat in a federal building . 
but wait , i'm getting ahead of myself . 
the film actually opens in the ice age , about 32 , 000 years prior , during which a couple of prehistoric guys get attacked by a vicious alien . 
the alien's blood infects them ( fans of the show will certainly remember the black cancer ) , and the story jumps into modern times , during which a young boy is also infected with the cancer . 
it turns out that the bomb was planted to kill the boy , and mulder and scully uncover the cover-up despite the fact that scully has resigned from her position in the fbi . 
soon , they find out that the whole thing has to do with aliens . 
as i've written before , it's not easy to write plot summaries for films like this , because everything needs to be a surprise . 
fans of the show will know what to expect , and i seriously doubt any of them being disappointed with the film . 
director rob bowman has done a great job expanding the eerie feeling of the show to the big screen , making small adjustments and minor changes to utilize the possibilities that film allows over television . 
there are some truly suspenseful and well-created scenes here ( late in the film , when they're in the alien spacecraft , you'll see one of the better action sequences in recent cinema ) . 
the special effects are very good , and the production design by christopher nowak is fantastic . 
what i find interesting is that the x-files is actually a great way for series neophytes to get into the story . 
our heroes are given subtle introductions ( we're not expected to know them on the outset ) , and the film explains enough of the story that prior knowledge of the series isn't required to understand the film . 
there are , of course , little elements that the makers have included as payoff to the fans , but i'll keep those as surprises . 
it takes a lot of thought and understanding of the series to create a film using roots as complicated as the ones that the series provides , and then create a coherent film that anyone can understand clearly . 
the series is strong for a lot of reasons . 
it's original ( though it has many ties to "" the twilight zone "" and owes some homage to hitchcock ) , and impressively eerie for a television show . 
what really makes the series shine , however , are the actors . 
duchovny has so much presence , and is just a fun guy to watch . 
he has that confidence that will someday make him into a bankable leading man . 
anderson is equally good , and paralyzingly beautiful ; she's also a strong actress . 
both performers have acted in little more than their series , however , though i think they'll both get their chances to prove themselves very soon . 
i enthusiastically recommend the x-files , both for fans and non-fans . 
1998 is a summer filled with disappointing blockbusters , and this film should satisfy where most of the others leave you completely dry . 
it's an intelligent film , and takes you places that you might not have been ( or , at least , might not have seen so many times that they feel familiar ) . 
the x-files is impressive in concept , as well : fans of the series are likely to be highly critical , and to take the premise beyond the series is a risky move . 
it's nice to see a risk pay off for a change . 
actually , it's nice to see a risk at all . 
"
"1"," "" the celebration "" is one of an elite kind of films that is completely absorbant . 
you know , where you sit down to watch it , and no matter what you've heard about it before , you just can't help but be totally drawn into its story and shocked by every single turn that occurs . 
i prefer films like these because these are what the best kind of films are like . 
i don't really feel there are to be any real "" rules "" for cinema ; a film can do anything , as long as it makes it work . 
but i do ask that all films have one thing in common : they create experiences . 
when i watch a film , no matter what kind of film it is , i want to be able to take certain memories along with me . 
 "" the celebration "" is great because it's chock full of those . 
it creates a world so completely realistic that everything that occurs is as memorable as the little instances of life that catch your attention and stay with you for the rest of your life . 
and then it makes things just a tad bit farscial , just to make sure you're paying attention , which you are because what transpires is just so goddam interesting that if you were to ever feel bored , then you're of your attention span needs a bit of a tuning-up . 
the story takes place at the extravagant home of an aging patriarch ( henning mortizen ) , who has just turned 60 and is having a party thrown for him . 
all his friends and family turn up , and for the first half hour , we get introduced to everyone , simplistically and realistically ( no aggravatingly condescending posing for the camera deals here ) . 
the eldest son , christian ( ulrich thomsen , looking a bit like a young malcolm mcdowell ) , is the first to be seen in the film , walking to his father's home . 
his brother , michael ( thomas bo larsen ) , drives by , pulls over , greets him , then kicks his family out of the car , forcing them to walk to the estate , just so christian can be comfortable . 
we then meet helene ( paprika steen ) , their sister , a woman who always seems to be stressed-out , who invites the driver of her car ( gbatokai dakinah ) , an american , to to come join her at the party she's going to . 
once they're all there and settled in , the party begins , and as custom , the eldest son has to make a speech to his dad , so christian stands up , at the head of the table , and reveals the film's punchline : his father raped all his children at a young age . 
but since this is a family/friends affair , his confession becomes more detested than the supposed truth , and is simply brushed off despite his efforts , and what transpires is sorta like jerry springer crossed with jean renoir , and it's all terribly interesting to watch . 
twists occur , and soon the film has taken on a nearly-farsical nature , but still seems realistic because the people involved really feel like they could reach such ends . 
the most notorious thing about this film , which has been getting the most notice , though , is that the director , thomas vinterberg has shot it in a completely awkward fashion . 
as a member of the danish filmmakers clan , dogme 95 , a group that has vowed to oppose "" the auteur concept , make-up , illusions , and dramaturgical predictability "" so that they may "" purge film so that once again the inner lives of the characters justify the plot . "" 
i have not seen "" breaking the waves , "" the other notable film by a member of this group ( lars von trier , to be exact ) , but "" the celebration "" works exquisitely in this department . 
it feels like reality , like you're actually watching real people and not actors , and as a major pointer , has been shot on video . 
as a result , it looks more like the home movies you never dare shot of your family than an actual film , but always wanted to . 
we see key moments in people's lives that they wouldn't dare show to the world , and it captures the farscial comedy of life so accurately and acutely that this style , as ironically-showmanship as it really is , works perfectly for the nature of the film . 
the key , though , to this film , and the reason it's not just a cool danish import , is because this film is not about revealing the truth as much as it is about the way people react to such an explosive truth . 
throughout the film , we see a completely realized debate over the truth and the effects it has on the lives of those who have learned to live with lies , a debate so three-dimensional that it could easily blow oliver stone and his the-truth-at-all-costs reasoning out of the water . 
of course it was not right for the father to rape his children , and of course , they couldn't have fought back then , and of course this has created scarring suppression inside them . 
and yes , it's thearapeutic for one to release the truth years later , when they know it could easily destroy the one who emotionally destroyed them earlier . 
but then again , the father , after all , is not a totally bad guy , and we can see the emotional complications that arise thanks to a performance by mortizen which is just so great and touching that while we do believe that he could have raped his children years earlier , we also see a man who has also learned to live with what he's done , and deep down , feels true guilt that is only now beginning to surface . 
the final scene , involving mortizen and everyone else , is utterly devastating , thanks to him and thomsen , whose performance is utterly flawless and equally emotionally complex . 
everyone else is flawless as well - the actors never seem to be stepping into the shoes of their characters as much as they do walking comfortably in them . 
the actors or writers have not made the mistake to judge these characters in the slightest : there are no whites or blacks but instead all grays , exactly like life . 
as such , "" the celebration "" may be the one truly bizarro film of the year : a work of art so eerily close to reality that it's utterly disturbing and utterly fascinating . 
"
"1","synopsis : shrek ( myers ) is an ogre living in contented solitude deep in the heart of a forest , until his home is invaded by fairy tale creatures fleeing the rule of the evil lord farquaad ( john lithgow ) . 
farquaad agrees to relocate the pests , on the condition that shrek rescues princess fiona ( diaz ) -- whom farquaad desires to wed -- from a far-off castle . 
grudgingly , shrek sets out , joined in his quest by an unwanted companion , donkey ( murphy ) . 
review : one memorable aspect of disney's "" aladdin "" was that it finally gave robin williams a character -- the genie -- to best take advantage of his comic talents . 
 "" shrek "" does the same for eddie murphy ; ironically , though , murphy's ideal vessel turns out to be an ass . 
all the same , "" shrek "" does represent murphy's best comic outing in years , and as donkey he steals all the best lines . 
for instance , after getting belted with pixie dust while trying to conceal his nature as a magical creature , donkey soars into the air and scoffs , "" now i'm a flying talking donkey ! "" 
and despite its many contributors , the script for "" shrek "" is full of such comic gems . 
myers is delightful in more of a straight man role , and lithgow also gets some great moments ( watch for a hilarious repartee with the gingerbread man ) . 
 "" shrek "" takes great pleasure in lampooning fairy tales and nursery rhymes of all sorts , and reserves a few delightful knocks at disney in the bargain . 
things do go somewhat astray during the film's middle segment , which concentrates too much on the main characters at the expense of some of the terrific fairy tale satire which is the movie's greatest strength . 
but even then , one can always sit back and enjoy the beautiful computer animation , whose remarkable use here represents yet another dazzling leap forward for the technology . 
"
"1","matthew broderick and high school comedy . 
the two terms have been practically inseparable since ferris buehler took the day off in 1986 . 
now it is 13 years later , and broderick has another high school comedy , election , to show the world . 
ferris buehler's day off showed an educational setting that was similar to a pile of marshmallows . 
it was light , fluffy , tasty , and sparkling clean . 
but election is far different . 
this production is a dark , and frighteningly realistic one that does so much more than entertain for the 103 minutes it occupies ; it shocks as well . 
jim mcallister ( matthew broderick ) is the type of teacher that makes american high schools proud . 
he is a kind , caring , younger man who has built his life around carver high school . 
in turn , carver high school has provided a home for him . 
jim has won teacher of the year no less than three times in his 12 year span , and is a well respected social studies teacher among the student body . 
tracy flick ( reese witherspoon ) is an intelligent , outgoing , and , to quote the film , "" super nice "" young girl . 
she is involved in numerous extracurricular activities , always has her hand up first in class , and is extremely popular among most of the student body . 
so , it is a natural progression when she decides to run for school president . 
the metzler family is an extremely wealthy one . 
the father , dick ( holmes osborne ) , owns a cement company . 
the mother , jo ( jeanine jackson ) , is an ideal housewife . 
and the two children , paul ( chris klein ) and tammy ( jessica campbell ) , are both students at carver high school . 
paul was the quarterback of the football team before he injured himself , and is definitely a candidate for most popular person in school . 
tammy is a lesbian who , to say the least , is going through a period of self discovery . 
for reasons of revenge , hatred , and sexual envy , jim convinces paul to run against tracy for school president . 
he claims that in a democracy you need choices , and having tracy run unopposed creates a dictatorship of sorts . 
so paul agrees and the race is on . 
but then , in an effort to spite the two candidates , tammy announces that she is running as well . 
her campaign is straightforward : people only run to put it on their college applications , then they do nothing . 
well , "" i don't even want to go to college , "" she says . 
in election , there are no "" good guys "" . 
almost everyone has their own agenda . 
no matter how deeply hidden , the production digs it up and exploits it for the audience . 
tracy is the type of person that you remember from high school . 
she is the girl that would be labeled "" most likely to achieve anything she wants "" in the yearbook , and everyone secretly envied her because of that . 
jim is a teacher that takes the trust that students give him as a privilege , and uses it to his own amoral advantage . 
everyone , including the principal , a former teacher , all the candidates , and even paul's girlfriend are two sided characters . 
that is much of this film's beauty , it doesn't have the typical good guys that hollywood likes , instead it is a realistic portrayal of the real world , specializing in revealing the type of sexual perversions that people usually keep to themselves . 
matthew broderick couldn't have been any more perfect for this role . 
his character is often similar bill murray's award winning role in the 1998 film , rushmore . 
of the two acting jobs , broderick's is far superior . 
but even he is overshadowed by the young reese witherspoon . 
the hatred that she causes the audience to develop towards her , is simply indescribable . 
broderick and witherspoon are simply at their best when they are playing off each other in various scenes . 
one such moment occurs when she approaches him in his car as he is leaving school one day . 
you can see her self pride in her eyes as she presents him a list of signatures , making her an eligible candidate . 
and his subtle disgust with her is apparent , although he tries to mask it between the lines and attempts to put on a happy face . 
the supporting cast is one with little hollywood experience . 
but that is far from apparent as everyone takes control of their part . 
however , the real treat is jessica campbell in her confused role as a young homosexual girl . 
this is never more apparent than the scene where she delivers her speech announcing her so-called platform for presidency . 
she is just marvelous as her hatred towards what she thinks to be an unjust system is expressed . 
if ferris buehler made you feel good about american high schools , and gave you an innocent laugh or two , then the movie achieved its goal . 
but don't you dare think that election's goals are similar . 
it is just as real in its portrayal of high school , as its characters are in the real world . 
there certainly is no pile of marshmallows here . 
"
"1","the rocky horror picture show 'special edition' ( 1975 ) 
starring : tim curry and susan sarandon 
cult films are never mainstream . 
the casual viewer of a cult film will look at it and be repulsed and confused , yelling out 'what the hell is that ? ' . 
fans of these sorts of movies will be laughing at every other second at all the 'hidden jokes' they missed the first time around while normal movie watchers will look at them like they're insane . 
the rocky horror picture show , recently re-released in a 'special edition' to video , is the mother of all cult films . 
period . 
like some other cult films , most notably little shop of horrors , the rocky horror picture show is a musical with a twisted edge to it . 
this movie begins out innocently enough- a couple get engaged at a friend's wedding and get a flat tire in the middle of the night while it's raining . 
they go to a castle to try to use the phone . 
little do they know that the castle is owned by dr . frank n . furter , a mad transexual transvestite scientist who has recently created a creature he will use for personal reasons . 
the acting is pretty good overall . 
tim curry ( home alone 2 , legend ) is over-the-top as frank n . furter . 
it's interesting to see that this movie was one of future oscar winner susan sarandon's ( dead man walking ) first film- she plays janet , the girlfriend of brad majors . 
even the singer meatloaf is in it ! ! 
the songs are all very good yet twisted in their own way . 
a sampling of titles range from damn it , janet to touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me . 
all the actors sing their songs with no dubbing from other actors- kind of a bad thing . 
barry bostwick ( brad majors ) tries to sing as does susan sarandon , but tim curry is clearly the most professional having extensive stage experience . 
meatloaf sings like meatloaf . 
the new special edition contains two original movie trailers of the film as well as two songs deleted from the original version . 
sadly , the songs are tacked after the credits- kind of defeats the purpose . 
if you want to see a different film , watch this one ! ! 
"
"1","confession time : i have never , ever seen gone with the wind . 
i don't know why , really . 
haven't wanted to check it out on video , haven't been at home the nights it was on network tv , and it was too far to drive the last time it was on the big-screen . 
so right up front , i'll admit that i don't know what the heck i'm talking about , but here goes . . . 
is titanic the gone with the wind of the 1990's ? 
maybe that's going a little bit too far . 
as good a job as leonardo dicaprio and kate winslet do in this movie , they're no clark gable and vivien leigh . 
but . . . 
the parallels are there . 
gwtw was the first movie to take real advantage of the most revolutionary technology available -- technicolor . 
titanic takes revolutionary steps forward in seamlessly integrating computer graphic design with actors . 
gwtw places america's greatest tragedy in the background of a classic love story , titanic does the same with the atlantic's most legendary tragedy . 
they both have strong-willed redheaded heroines , they both exploit the class differences between the aristocracy and the slaves/steerage bums , they were both incredibly expensive and popular . . . 
ok , maybe that's not enough parallels . 
so titanic's not in gwtw's league . 
no matter . 
titanic is a great movie in its own right , complete with spills , thrills and ( especially ) chills . 
much has been made of the humongous cost of the production , and all of the care than went into making the huge luxury liner come alive again . 
the money was obviously well-spent . 
the costumes look great , the sets look great , the cgi graphics look great . 
i especially liked the expensive little touches , like spending tons of money on authentic titanic china only to break it all on the floor as the ship sinks . 
but writer/director/producer james cameron's real challenge in writing/directing/ producing titanic wasn't just costuming and set design and special effects . 
cameron's major headache was keeping the audience interested in a tale where everybody knows the ending going in . 
he succeeds masterfully . 
cameron does two things that work incredibly well . 
first , he shows us modern-day salvage operations on titanic ( that's just "" titanic "" , not "" the titanic "" , mind you ) . 
the first glimpse we get of titanic is the ship in its present state , corroding slowly away under the hammering pressure of the north atlantic , from the window of a minisub piloted by treasure hunter brock lovett ( bill paxton ) . 
television coverage of the exploration of titanic intrigues 101-year-old rose calvert ( gloria stuart ) , who survived the wreck in 1912 . 
stuart does a phenomenal job in a brief role , narrating the story of her experience to a stunned paxton and his roughneck crew . 
secondly , cameron keeps the storyline focused almost exclusively on the rose character , and the romantic triangle between rose ( winslet ) , her bastard millionaire fiancee cal hockley ( billy zane ) and the irrepressible young artist jack daswon ( dicaprio ) . 
the way that big-budget disaster movies usually go wrong is to have an all-star cast , so we see the impact of the disaster on a wide group of people . 
cameron wisely chooses to stick with rose and jack , while paying scant heed to the celebrities on board . 
the supporting cast is professional , but mostly anonymous -- other than kathy bates as the unsinkable molly brown , there's no moment when you stop and say , oh , yeah , i know him , what's he been in . 
 ( although i would like to have seen colm meaney in a white star uniform , or even as the ill-fated engineer . ) 
the love story itself is rather conventional . 
i think some reviewers found it weak , and that may be a fair criticism . 
the performances are the key here . 
zane has the meatiest part in the movie , and he plays the arrogant , condescending steel millionaire to the hilt . 
he's smooth , he looks great in a tuxedo , and he's a convincing enough jerk that the winslet-dicaprio relationship looks plausible . 
at the moment when he sees a little girl too frightened to get aboard a lifeboat , you can hear the wheels in his mind turning , saying not "" can i save this little girl ? "" , 
but "" can she help me get on a lifeboat ? "" 
dicaprio is a revelation . 
i hadn't seen him before in anything , and didn't know what the heck to expect , really . 
 ( honestly , i expected a bad irish accent , but cameron evidently decided that was a bad idea , so dicaprio plays a poor american artist who wins a ticket in a poker game . ) 
dicaprio exhibits an infectious joy at being alive , and being on the titanic , that it's hard not to like him . 
from the moment that the ship leaves port until it hits the iceberg , dicaprio has to carry the movie and keep our interest , and he never falters . 
winslet's character grows up a lot during the movie , and so does her performance . 
at first , she's not required to do anything but wear period clothing and look drop-dead gorgeous . 
we know from the narration that she's monstrously unhappy with her arranged marriage to zane , but there isn't any expression of these feelings until she encounters dicaprio . 
winslet and dicaprio develop a chemistry that manages to propel the movie along until the ship hits the iceberg . 
it's at that moment where winslet's character really comes alive . 
faced with real danger , she drops her spoiled-rich-girl mannerisms and does a splendid job . 
as rose and jack race around the doomed ship , looking for shelter from the freezing water and cal's fiery temper , winslet turns in a superb acting performance , mixing courage and compassion and anger with sheer shrieking terror . 
of course , the most interesting character is the ship itself . 
cameron has clearly fallen in love with titanic , and shows her in every mood -- as a deserted wreck , down in the boiler room , up on the bridge , down in the hold , at the captain's table , down in steerage -- and manages to bring the great ship back from the dead . 
cameron's greatest gift is that he allows us to fall in love with titanic as well . 
"
"1","if he doesn=92t watch out , mel gibson is in danger of being known as someone other than mad max . 
of course there are still a few big guns in this film , but there=92s some accomplished acting too . 
although gibson continues to shed his rough and gritty anti-hero skin as his career progresses , here he explores a new genre : the businessman as action hero . 
in ron howard=92s latest film , gibson plays tom mullen , a gazillionaire airline owner whose son is snatched from the junior science fair by kidnappers . 
mullen at first agrees to pay the ransom , but when things fall apart he rethinks the situation . 
a veteran of numerous hard-nosed business negotiations , the tycoon realizes that in order to get his son back alive , he has to play his hand differently . 
the casting is what puts this film over the top . 
the trio of gibson , the kidnappers' mastermind ( gary sinise ) and fbi team leader ( delroy lindo ) play off of each other wonderfully . 
sinise is perfect as the driven scheming sleezebag is right on the mark . 
his speech to mullen over a walkie talkie about h . g . wells=92 morlocks and eloi reveal his vision of= 
society . mullen and the other glitteratti frolic up on high while sinise and the other lowlifes dwell below , feeding off the unsuspecting . 
gibson=92s character is an all-american hero with a few flaws . 
his cowboy= 
tactics tend to work , but they are also what got him into this situation to begin with . 
in a round about way , if he weren=92t known as a man who i= s willing to buy his way out of trouble , his son wouldn=92t have been kidnapped . 
as sinise says "" you=92re a payer . 
you did it once and now you=92re going to do it again . "" 
one of the nicest elements of this film is that most of the characters actually have personalities . 
lindo calls home to talk to his kids , obviously shaken at working this case . 
even the kidnappers are real people , arguing about the ultimate fate of sean mullen and feeding him candy bars . 
gibson=92s break-down on the balcony of their penthouse apartment is especially effective . 
it=92s one of the best filmed representations of a man=92s world falling apart that i=92ve seen . 
it=92s not all perfect . 
the shoot 'em upending , while emotionally satisfying seems tacked on to be just that rather than to provide a powerful resolution . 
as well crafted as the scene is , we=92ve seen it before . 
mullen=92s wife ( rene russo ) has several good moments , but occasionally just seems to be there . 
while adequate , brawley nolte ( sean ) doesn=92t provide much to the film other than occupying space to build the story around . 
but you=92ll ignore these problems as each minute of the movie builds on the previous one . 
forget about the large coke , you won=92t want to leave for that five minute break an hour later . 
"
"1","john cusack is the kind of actor who seems to effortlessly slide into his respective film roles . 
so effortlessly that people tend to forget he's there , much in the way people rarely recall many of the great character actors ( anyone who can put the name james rebhorn with that actor's face is invited to treat themselves to a product from one of my sponsors ) . 
example : the other day my mother asked me ( the expert , of course ) if there were any movies out worth seeing , never mind that our tastes couldn't be more divergent--- i'll never forget the day she recommended that i go see a night at the roxbury for god sakes , and to be fair she was mightily pissed at me for telling her that go ! 
was a lot of fun ( which it is ) , so i didn't see this as anything more than a futile attempt at conversation . 
i muttered , with a little trepidation , that she might enjoy high fidelity . 
she responded with her usual query , "" whose in that one ? "" 
this is a question whose answer that seems to immediately conjure up the kind of movie you went to see . 
if the reply is julia roberts you probably assume it was something wispy and light , a sylvester stallone movie and you picture a bloodbath with few words and much involuntary bicep flexing , and a woody allen movie means hyper articulate white people ( usually of the jewish faith ) fretting about in some upper east side palace . 
anyway , when i answered "" john cusack "" , she replied with a rather stunned "" who ? "" , as if it was unreasonable for her to know whom i was referring to . 
now i know for a fact that my mother has seen several cusack movies , most recently being john malkovich and pushing tin , but i suppose it's understandable that she would not recognize the name , after all , for most , names are tougher than faces . 
i showed her a picture of cusack's mug in the paper hoping for an "" oh - him , yes he's quite good "" instead i got a "" no - i don't know him "" . 
at this point i was way beyond frustration into a realm of nose hair yanking anger ( yes , filmic ignorance is all it takes to get me into the nose hair pulling zone ) , till i realized something : i doubt that much of america would recognize cusack's relatively bland visage , or even the name which is rather bland compared to the coolness of a brad pitt or tom cruise , one-syllable names that glide off the tongue with the velocity of a speeding car . 
cu-sack . cu-sack - no , not quite as cool . 
i'm sure that twenty years from now cusack will forever be referred to as "" the guy from ( add in the cusack film of your choice ) "" . 
he's not a brand name , and his movies usually aren't big moneymakers , but in his own unassuming way he's kind of a genius . 
with his pleasant , common man looks , and charming semi-articulate blatherings he has become one of the most likeable romantic leading men of the 90's . 
from the sure thing to say anything cusack has merged the talents of early tom hanks and early jack lemmon . 
despite the fact that nearly every character he plays is a variation of the character before it ( the schlumpy every man ) , he's a constantly enjoyable screen persona , like albert brooks or woody allen . 
and he knows how to chose scripts , while the stephan baldwin's and val kilmer's seem to put them selves in everything ( the former actually had the insight to follow up oscar winner usual suspects with a pauly shore vehicle , and judging from his latest projects it looks like he still has yet to fire his agent ) , cusack generally picks rewarding projects ( save for the unwatchable hot pursuit , a 1988 film also featuring a young ben stiller ) . 
high fidelity is his second collaboration with hit or miss english director stephan fears ( the grifters , the hi-lo country ) , and it's a hit . 
it was also co-written by cusack , and some of his collaborators on the terrific comedy , grosse point blank . 
it's not quite as entertaining or as funny as that film , but as it progresses in its meandering fashion , the movie cast something of a spell over me . 
high fidelity begins as a hipster ode to the non-committal rob , a vinyl record store owner , who opens the film by breaking down the fourth wall with much abandon and educating us in his "" top 5 break ups list "" . 
this is something cusack does the entire film a la ferris bueller's day off . 
at first the talking-directly-into-the-camera-schtick had me vaguely annoyed , mostly because it reminded me so much of the film body shots which used a similar conceit , but it began to grow on me due almost entirely to cusack's witty delivery . 
he's the kind of guy we don't mind talking directly to us . 
gradually the film settles into a shampoo-like tragi-comic character study , of a guy who must confront himself and his personal failures in order to figure out the true person he is ( yes it's all very existential ) . 
though that plot-line is mostly enjoyable , the thing i liked the most about the film is how much pleasure it offers in introducing us to minor characters , all of whom ( now this is really something ) are terrific enough to warrant their own films . 
the best of which is jack black ( of the very funny show tenacious d , a program that sadly went the way of bruce willis' hair ? ? ? unfortunately that annoying smirk remains ) , an ardent record store employee who bullies customers into buying exactly what he wants them to buy . 
he's the kind of guy i'm sure we've all met before , a blowhard who thinks he's always right and will do anything in his power ( be it yell , argue , insult ) to hoist his opinion onto others . 
but i like this guy , because of how black plays him . 
the actor is portly with a round baby face and crazy eyes , but despite his size he leaps to and fro like a manic speed freak ( which might be a bit of a redundant description , seeing as how all the speed freaks i know are manic ) . 
he's the kind of supporting character who would be impossibly annoying comic relief in most other films . 
 ( look at what that hack jan de bont did to poor phillip seymour hoffman in twister ) . 
but fears and black never let that happen . 
the character , for all his shucking and jiving is steeped in reality . 
he's over the top , but in a way we can all probably relate to . 
catherine zeta-jones , in her brief role , gives a vivid portrayal of a women completely enamored with her own "" charm "" . 
tim robbins registers in an even tinier part as a new age-type , a character played entirely for cartoon yuks , but still manages to work its desired comic effect . 
the one exception in the acting department is a bit of a doozy , the main love interest played by danish actress iben hjejle ( mifune ) , who completely obliterates any trace of a danish accent , replacing it with a stilted american phonation . 
i give her kudos for attempting such a contradictory role , but instead of being likeable , she comes across as rather robotic , and as such it's hard to see why cusack's character would be so obsessed with her especially when he has a beautiful , intelligent writer ( natasha gregson wagner ) potentially waiting in the wings . 
this reminded me of say anything , where the charming cusack was paired with the charmless ione skye , and in midnight in the garden of good and evil where the poor bastard had to put up with alison eastwood ( whose unbelievably more wooden then father , clint for those "" special people "" whose wheels turn a little slower ) . 
in fact cusack is rarely paired up with a personality that matches his , though i'd bet that if laura and natasha switched roles , the result would be more effective . 
high fidelity works almost entirely on the strength of its characters and performances . 
fears' direction is somewhat stilted , and the script is sometimes a little too ( and this is a word i'm beginning to hate to use but alas i must ) quirky for its own good ( i think i'll blame that on scott rosenberg , who judging from what he did with beautiful girls , con air , and things to do in denver while your dead , has his fingerprints all over the most irritating bits of this movie ) . 
but cusack really does deserve an award , for being so damn ? ? ? cusackian . 
i'm afraid that his talents are so understated that he may have to wait till his hip needs replacing to be offered such an award worthy of his considerable talent . 
his character , rob ( whose sort of like an older , more bitter lloyd from say anything ) is funny and tragic without being pathetic , and that cusack can do all this , and still not imprint himself onto the minds of most audiences , is something of an achievement . 
"
"1","only a year after the initial release of "" scream , "" the horror send-up from veteran horror director wes craven and screenwriter kevin williamson that seemed to breathe new life into the slasher genre , the inevitable sequel "" scream 2 "" has arrived in our theaters . 
while the tongue-in-cheek , parodic element is still noticeable in this film , it's really a sideshow to a broader commentary on violence and the media and a more conventional horror story . 
the first film , while often violent and gruesome , was mostly lacking in genuine scares because almost every scene was played for camp value and the discussion of the quirks and cliches of horror movies was nearly constant . 
the premise of "" scream 2 "" is that a series of copycat killings begin when a movie called "" stab , "" based on a book written by opportunistic reporter gail weathers ( courtney cox ) about the events in "" scream , "" is released and two audience members are killed during the opening screening . 
i had heard about this scene before i went to see the film and was surprised to find this sequence largely lacking in camp comedy . 
its conclusion , in which a bleeding , wounded woman stumbles in front of the screen and dies in front of an audience that cheers on because they think it's a publicity stunt , is more surreal and disturbing than anything else . 
the satire in "" scream 2 "" thus takes on a broad focus and gradually evolves into an exploration of media perceptions in general . 
although resident horror film geek randy ( jamie kennedy ) is back with fresh dialogue about sequels ( and , interestingly enough , how they are usually inferior to their predecessors ) , the characters in this movie are drawing from other entries in the pop culture encyclopedia as well . 
everything from "" friends "" and "" saved by the bell "" to "" showgirls "" and "" terminator 2 "" is referenced here ; horror is only one of many genres available for lampooning , and there aren't any "" wes carpenter "" jokes this time . 
more importantly , this film portrays characters willing to go to disturbing lengths for media attention as well as characters whose perceptions have clearly been warped by what they have seen on tv and film . 
the killings are clearly an imitation of the previous murders from "" scream "" ( in fact , the culprit even plans to use the influence of horror movies as a courtroom defense ) , weathers exploits the situation for her own notoriety , and one man seems willing to save the heroine's life only if it will earn him an interview on the today show . 
understandably , "" scream 2 "" does not go so far as to actually blame the movies , but rather shows that those who do imitate horror movies are already sick and twisted . 
couple that with the fact that several of the characters , most notably the lead character sidney prescott ( neve campbell ) , are fairly well-developed and that there are some genuine moments of spine-chilling suspense , and what we have is a pretty darned good horror movie in its own right . 
we don't just get the horror of scary masks and graphic gore - we also get the horror of sympathetic characters who seem helpless as their friends are slaughtered ( and , in one case , a significant character who was an audience favorite even bites the dust ) and whose lives have been reduced to constant fear of a crazed murderer lurking around the corner . 
while i have not seen any of his other work , it's easy to see why craven is generally touted as the most sophisticated "" slasher film "" director , as he clearly cares about something more than just the actual acts of slashing . 
unfortunately , "" scream 2 "" occasionally reverts to the time-honored horror tradition of throwing logic out the window . 
for example , several characters seem quite clearly dead and inexplicably turn up alive later - there has been a running gag in both movies about the villain being able to pull off this particular trick , but it also happens with other characters and in an even less believable fashion . 
there are also a few scenes in which the killer suddenly appears behind the next victim in a situation such that ( s ) he clearly would have been seen moving in that direction . 
as for the question of whether or not "" scream 2 "" is yet another sequel not as good as its predecessor . 
 . 
 . 
well , it's hard to say . 
i gave the first "" scream "" 3 1/2 stars as well because it worked pretty consistently as a light-hearted send-up . 
 "" scream 2 "" bounces all over the place stylistically , but it does a better job delivering the genuine scares and asking the questions about media violence that were only hinted at in the first installment . 
i'm not sure which is the better movie , but i did leave the theater convinced of one thing : sequels , however much randy might argue , do not necessarily suck . 
"
"1","the full monty is a whole lot of fun , its wacky , witty , and original . 
it's written and directed by relatively unknowns , simon beaufoy and peter cattaneo , who both turned up oscar nominations . 
how did this movie with a budget under 10 million gross over 175 million worldwide ? 
its been rumored that this film may be the second most profitable movie of the year ! 
and to think its about male exotic dancers , and not sinking ships . 
six steel workers who have been recently been laid off and are all looking for jobs . 
inspired by the success of a chippendale's production , gaz ( robert carlyle ) decides they should all put on a strip show to make some money quickly . 
as the six team up to put on the show of their lives , they run into a few problems . 
for instance , dave ( mark addy ) is worried about his weight , horse ( paul barber ) thinks he may be inadequate , and gerald ( tom wilkinson ) is worried about his reputation and timing . 
so when the night of the show comes , will the men be able to do the "" full monty "" ? 
as i said before this is a fun movie , and not just that its really artistically good . 
the writing and direction are great . 
the acting is appealing , all the performances have a human quality to them , so you can relate to at least one of the characters . 
the full monty received four oscar nominations including best picture . 
which left me wondering one thing , why didn't trainspotting get a best picture nomination last year ? 
while the full monty is a great lighthearted comedy , it doesn't carry the social impact of the brilliant trainspotting . 
still , the full monty is a great film , a must see ! 
"
"1","with the release of gattaca , i began to wonder why all science fiction films deal with destructive aliens , or aliens in general . 
hollywood has given audiences plenty of thrills with those alien films , but what was usually lacking was a good story . . . 
and good characters . . . 
and good acting , etc ( contact being the exception ) . 
and for some reason , hollywood has never taken a look at the aliens here on earth . 
the closest , that i have seen anyway , was 2001 : a space odyssey , which made mankind an alien race themselves , being dwarfed by the technology which they created . 
now comes gattaca , another film about technology reigning supreme , except here on our planet . 
the difference between 2001 and this one is simple : gattaca is more frightening . 
most of the concepts of this movie are based on recent discoveries in genetic engineering . 
using this premise , writer/director andrew niccol creates some genuine suspense and thrills . 
unfortunately , due to a lack of advertising , i fear gattaca may fair horribly at the box office . 
since seeing the film , i have been asking people if they have seen gattaca . 
lately , however , i have been asking them if they have even heard of gattaca . 
most people don't even realize that it is a film . 
despite this fact , i surely hope that the audience members who have seen this film will tell their friends about it . 
niccol's film deserves more than what independence day made because it is smarter , better produced , and more realistic . 
gattaca begins in the 21st century . 
procreating is now done in a petri dish , and genetic engineering is the normal way of doing it . 
natural child birth is considered old-fashioned . 
we are introduced to jerome morrow ( ethan hawke ) , an employee of the gattaca space program . 
one of the directors of the program has been murdered , and the main suspect is one vincent freeman . 
the only problem is that jerome morrow is vincent freeman . 
vincent was born the natural way when his parents decided on bringing their first child into the world through love . 
however , after his birth , and through several genetic tests , doctors tell his parents that he will have a 99% chance of a weak heart , as well as poor eye sight and a short life span . 
as a result , both parents decide to bring their next baby into the world via genetics . 
anton ( loren dean ) is produced without flaws , and the competition between brothers spawns . 
vincent has a dream to fly a solo-flight around the titan , the 14th moon of saturn , but because of his condition , gattaca , and society in general , forces him to do menial labor around the company . 
labeled an "" in-valid , "" vincent's dream seems impossible , until he meets a black-market dna specialist , german ( tony shalhoub ) . 
german introduces him to a "" valid "" who has been paralized from the waste down due to an automobile accident . 
jerome morrow ( jude law ) agrees to give vincent all the proper identification tools ( urine , blood , skin and hair samples , etc . ) that he will need to get past gattaca's tight security . 
in exchange , vincent will provide jerome with the rent money and friendship . 
after the murder , however , his dreams are put at risk due to one of vincent's eyelashes left at the scene of the crime . 
irene cassini ( uma thurman ) is a genetically flawed "" valid "" working for gattaca , and she begins to fall in love with vincent/jerome . 
gattaca is one of the best science fiction films i have seen in a long time . 
only two other intelligent science fiction films have come out in the past two years ( contact and the arrival ) and gattaca will rank among them . 
unfortunately , whenever one intelligent film comes out against special effects-laden films , it normally gets buried . 
the second best thing about gattaca is the production design by jan roelfs . 
the orange glow of gattaca's scenes are impressive , but the sets deserve most of the credit . 
the sets are very well done , creating a futuristic sense , but not too futuristic as to alienate viewers . 
as we look at the designs , we realize that these buildings aren't too far into the future . 
this brings the plot even more credibility as genetic engineering becomes more possible by every passing day . 
the best thing , however , is the plot . 
the story is more than your average sci-fi/thriller . 
at its heart , it develops a theme which is never overpowering but is always present . 
perhaps niccol is warning our race about the changes genetic tampering could bring . 
would our society become a bunch of soulless zombies ? 
maybe human nature is a result of mankind's flaws . 
if we get rid of flaws , do we get rid of dreams as well ? 
niccol's intelligent script handles all these questions extremely well , and the result is an incredibly smart thriller set against a dramatic story , or vice versa . 
the power of the actors brings a lot of credibility to flat characters . 
while flat may sound like a poor job on niccol's part , it actually enhances the meaning behind the story . 
ethan hawke has developed into a handsome adult actor , giving his best performance of his lifetime so far . 
his curiosity and motivation pushes his character past all the discouraging remarks from his parents and "" valid "" peers . 
uma thurman is . . . well , uma thurman . 
her character is slightly underdeveloped , but the story isn't about her . 
however , thurman gives a lot of depth to the flat character . 
jude law gives the most complex performance of the film with the most disturbingly realistic character . 
he provides several nice touches , and his final scene is a very touching and heartwrenching one . 
loren dean gives a nice performance in his well-developed character . 
dean is also responsible for some of the most suspenseful scenes in the movie . 
alan arkin portrays one of the detectives with a little less more excitement than with his psychiatrist in grosse pointe blank . 
still , he does a good job . 
gore vidal and xander berkeley both provide some very good supporting roles , and berkeley also gives a heartfelt discussion towards the end of the film . 
gattaca is rated pg-13 for brief violent images , language , some sexuality , and nudity . 
despite the somber and desolate mood of the entire film , i wasn't exactly prepared for the ending which left me feeling empty . 
it turned me off slightly , but then i realized that everything turned out the way it should have . 
if this had been a typical hollywood film , it would have ended much differently . 
however , with all the mindless science fiction films out there , it is nice to have a film which doesn't talk down to its audience ( i especially like the ironic title and how it consists of the four letters which make up the genetic coding : g , t , c , and a ) . 
instead , it provides some much needed entertainment which gives us science fiction fanatics just what we want : a science fiction film with morals behind it . 
whatever happened to giving the audience a lesson while entertaining ? 
hopefully more writers and directors will learn from gattaca . . . 
and hopefully audiences will too . 
p . s . personal note to p . j . gladnick : how dare you call this film the worst film of the year . 
i can't even begin to image what film you do like . 
that frightens me beyond anything . 
"
"1","it must be some sort of warped critical nightmare : the best movie of the year would be a summer vehicle , a jim carrey vehicle at that . 
and so it is . 
_the truman show_ is the most perplexing , crazed , paranoid and rib-tickling morality play i've seen since i-don't-know-when . 
don't credit carrey . 
it starts with andrew niccol ( gattaca ) , who created the script ten years ago . 
the story , replete with sublte religious and philisophical undertones , is about a man who discovers that every day of his existence has been televised for a mass audience . 
 ( ironically , it was within these past ten years that "" reality-based "" television have become a predominant fixture into our culture . 
who knew ? ) 
one-upping niccol , it was when unlikely candidate-director peter weir took the helm that things fell into place . 
weir had the nearly impossible task to create the unimitible tone , deftly mixing capra with kafka , throwing george bailey in a universe inhabited by rod serling . 
it was weir's first stroke of genius to create seahaven : a suburban paradise/prison that would make spielberg cower in shame . 
for example , bystander-extras would walk around the block incessantly with flowers along with the latest issue of _dog fancy_ . 
the nicest touch are the plethora of subtle hints for truman to _not_ leave the island . 
credit weir for his second stroke : the casting of carrey . 
carrey seems to be the type of character actor who would always turn "" on "" and act goofy whenever the camera is near . 
not here . 
his performance is so subverted you sometimes wonder if he is ever aware the camera is on . 
and although carrey does not deserve an academy award nomination ( just as well , the academy rarely honors goofy comedians , excepting robin williams ) , he stretches enough to alter his hyper-silly image considerably . 
playing one who has the cameras constantly invading his most intimate moments turns to be quite the role of jim carrey's life . 
no pun intended . 
better in a smaller , more pivotal role is ed harris as christof , who mixes the right amount of his apollo 13 "" work the problem , people "" character with dustin hoffman's megaglomaniac producer in _wag the dog_ , and then only slightly svengalian . 
it is clear that he is torn between the nielson ratings and truman's well being . 
yes , in his own misguided way he loves truman as a father to a son , and has provided the best universe he could provide . 
he thinks . 
rounding out the cast is natascha mcelhone ( mrs . 
dalloway ) as carrey's true "" forbidden love "" , sylvia , very effective in another pivotal small role . 
laura linney ( congo ) and noah emmerich ( copland ) have the unfortunate task of playing truman's wife and best friend ; their sitcom-ish dialogue allow little room for any authentic character development . 
the exception is at the very beginning , where they speak into the camera , wholeheartedly believing that their participation is truly good for truman , and for society in general . 
there are other little problems with the script . 
are we to assume that toddler truman had no recollection of hearing the construction of such a gigantic dome during his formative years ? 
was there any reason as to why in one scene , it rained solely on truman , even though it never had to ? 
how is it they hire hundreds of extras , and none of them could drive a boat , and yet truman , fearful of water , is helming a sailboat effortlessly ? 
and couldn't christof have turned off the wind , to strand truman at sea ? 
these little contrivances , however , do not hold a candle to the overall effect of the work . 
the audience gets the feeling that it is watching the actual show , and we are drawn to truman's mundane existence for no other reason than it is there . 
the final result effortlessly combines the emotional happy ending of a mainstream picture with a gnawing discomfort that hits you square in the gut . 
upon leaving the theater , i was looking up in the sky , wondering if it was nothing more than a gigantic dome . 
just checking . 
"
"1","now , lets first look into the history of shark films . 
there was the unforgettable jaws . 
the exciting jaws 2 . the rather flaky jaws 3d and sometime in the late 90s another film of the same genre that i can't seem to recall ( about the son of jaws returning to wreak revenge or something like that ) . 
now , with the magic of cgi , one shark is simply not enough ; in deep blue sea , there are 3 big , mean and really smart ones ! 
russell frankiln ( jackson ) visits aquatica ( a sea-bound research center ) , where a research is being conducted on the extraction of a hormone substance found uniquely within the shark brain that can cure and reverse the effects of alzheimer's disease . 
the substance is small in quantity and because of this , lead researcher dr . susan macalaester genetically alters the shark dna and grows them twice the size with brains as big as humans , naturally producing more of the much treasured hormones . 
as sure as the sun sets in the west , a shark breaks lose and wreaks havoc within the facility during a hormone extraction procedure . 
with the flexibility offered by cgi , the sharks get more full-length screen time as their predecessors did in those remote-controlled rubber suit days . 
gone are the days of people getting pulled under the water with the water turning red right after . 
this time , we get to see the entire gobbling action , with floating limbs and all . 
so-so acting , expected in most of your average action film . 
jackson ( fresh from his jedi master role in the phantom menace ) , takes on the dark-side force of a different kind and fits well with his wise-cracking lines . 
ll cool j's cook role as preacher , does for this film what steven seagal's cook could only dream to achieve in his two under siege films . 
deep blue sea does not offer any of the psychological thrills that jaws has to offer . 
it does however , prove to be a refreshing follow-up within the genre , full of visual thrills , suspense and believe it or not  humour ! 
its like jurassic park under water . 
nothing too stressful , pure entertainment . 
renny harlin , you are forgiven ( for making cutthroat island ) . 
"
"1","this is the best british gangster film since the long good friday . 
jon bennet ( played by andrew howard ) is an extremely good assassin . 
as such he is probably an evil man but it does not worry him . 
he has become an unquestioning weapon . 
he is in the employ of a kingpin ( david calder ) far more evil than he is . 
but even assassins have innocent pasts . 
he runs into an old from school days and he is married to a mutual girl friend from school . 
complicating matters is that they live near where he had a recent job and their young daughter may have seen him at the crime . 
a big piece of what makes this film work is the depiction of the kingpin . 
calder is a familiar actor in britain , though not frequently seen in the us . 
he was seen in the world is not enough . 
here he creates one of the best screen villains in recent years . 
he is at once seductive and repellent like a beautiful venomous snake . 
his lair is underground , apparently in a sewer , where he lives like the king of sewer rats . 
it is the kingpin who pulls the strings that will control bennet's life . 
paul sarossy who directs spent most of his career as a cinematographer and like the kingpin's lair , he has molded images of class and style out of the darkness . 
by using semi-darkness and letting the colors of deep blue and black dominate every scene he makes the film visually as ominous as anything in this nether world . 
this is a world that is cold and unfriendly . 
sorossy creates a world of violence much more by what we hear than what we see . 
this is a film with a great deal of physical violence occurring just out of reach . 
we see very little but we hear a great deal more and we imagine more than that . 
the screenplay is by peter waddington based on the novel by neil cross , but it is sarossy's film all the way . 
it creates indelible images of evil . 
i rate it an 8 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low +3 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
 ( i do hope they do not use the tagline "" don't mess with mr . in-between . "" ) 
"
"1","produced by robert lantos & stephen j . roth 
directed by douglas williams 
mpaa : not rated ( though from language , violence , medical-gross-outs , and sexual content , i'd put it at pg ) 
though made in canada , "" overdrawn at the memory bank "" traces its roots to the bbc school of film production . 
using , for the most part , cheap computer and video special effects , chyron text , wildlife documentary footage , and sets that are sometimes obviously faked up , it nonetheless manages to tell a good enough science fiction story that by the time you're twenty minutes into it , you should be hooked . 
raul julia plays aram fingal , a drone data processing worker for novicorp whose active imagination and predilection for hacking gets him into trouble with authority . 
caught watching "" casablanca "" on his desk monitor , fingal is sentenced to "" doppling "" rehabilitation--he is to spend forty-eight hours in the body of a baboon . 
 ( how exactly this is supposed to rehabilitate him is anybody's guess . ) 
as it happens , thanks to a visiting schoolboy's prank , his body is temporarily misplaced , and his mind has to be shunted into the central computer to keep him alive until they can find it . 
as time ticks away before his memory cube self-destructs , the frantic search for his body is on . . . while 
fingal first creates a virtual reality fantasy world , then finds there's no better way to hack the system than from the inside . 
during the chaos , computer technician apollonia james ( linda griffiths ) maintains contact with fingal through a datalink , manifesting several different times to offer advice or warnings . 
over the course of their interactions , interest on both their parts grows into a budding romance . 
given that "" casablanca "" is fingal's favorite film , and the basis for his fantasy world , a great deal of the movie is homage to "" casablanca "" . 
in fact , the humphrey bogart and peter lorre characters make appearances ( played by julia in a dual role and louis negin , respectively ) in a bar called "" the place "" . 
julia's portrayal of bogart is passable , and avoids becoming the "" schweethaat "" -spouting parody seen in cartoons . 
negin's peter lorre is quite credible , and easily the best peter lorre i've ever seen who wasn't the real thing . 
the two of them , as characters created by fingal's imagination , serve as aspects of his personality , driving him on in his quest to hack the computer system . 
those aren't the only casablanca characters to put in appearances . 
the sydney greenstreet character also happens to be around . . . as "" the fat man "" , the alternate aspect of the film's main villain , the novicorp chairman ( donald c . moore ) . 
while fingal's body is lost , the fat man tries to stop him from hacking the system . . . with 
less than salutory results . 
it's interesting to note the futuristic slang words that are thrown about left and right during the film , in the best golden-age science fiction tradition . 
words like "" dopple "" , "" psychist "" , "" computech "" , "" cinema "" , and "" reconst "" are apparently in common use . 
and while people of today may well laugh at fourteen years past's idea of futuristic data processing clerks , some aspects of this film are surprisingly perfectly in keeping with the way we think of "" virtual reality "" today . 
as cyberpunk films go , this may not be a staple of the genre , but it's definitely recommended viewing . 
the special effects are very primitive , placing this production in the realm of low-to-medium-budget television . 
the music is completely electronic-synthesized , which fits the low budget but isn't really out of keeping with the genre . 
however , the writing quite makes up for it . 
there are some very funny moments , and quite a few little in-jokes that one needs to have seen "" casablanca "" to appreciate properly . 
all in all , i give "" overdrawn at the memory bank "" a . 
"
"1","i remember hearing about this film when it first appeared at cannes over a year ago , picking up the grand jury prize at the festival . 
'holocaust comedy receives standing ovation' , the headlines read . 
intrigued by this statement , i looked up information on the film and found that , sure enough , life is beautiful is in fact a comedy about the greatest atrocity of the last thousand years . 
even though the movie was extremely well-received by critics and public alike , i couldn't help but be disgusted at this notion ; human tragedy is not something i feel should be celebrated . 
only now do i see the error of my ways . 
after finally viewing the film for myself after avoiding it for some time , it became clear that it is not , as the headlines proclaimed , a "" holocaust comedy "" ; on the contrary , life is beautiful does not even really depict the graphic events that took place in nazi deathcamps . 
rather , it focuses on the relationship between a father and his son , who he is trying desperately to shield from the horrors of their situation . 
roberto benigni ( who also wrote and directed the movie ) stars as guido orefice , a chaplin-inspired clown and all round jolly guy who , as the film opens , is vying for the affections of an attractive school teacher ( nicoletta braschi , benigni real life spouse ) . 
through the course of the first hour or so , we see guido striving to get the attention of this "" beautiful princess "" , as he calls her . 
employing the magic of laughter , the italian comedian wins her heart and together , they raise a young boy named giosue ( child actor giorgio cantarini ) . 
life treats them well until hitler's minions rise to power , and the family is whisked away to a german camp , where guido becomes convinced that he must upholds his son's innocence no matter what the sacrifice . 
granted , it contains some uproariously funny moments both in and out of the concentration camp , but it does not pull a "" hogan's heros "" and make light of the slaughtering of some six million innocent jews . 
somehow , it achieves hilarity without disrespecting it's gravely serious subject . 
so , we've established that life is beautiful is not a "" holocaust comedy "" . 
but , there is another complete misrepresentation of this material that really disturbs me . 
the film , despite critic's declarations of it being a "" triumph of the human spirit "" , is no such thing ; not in my eyes , anyway . 
some have called the story an "" affirmation of the beauty of life "" , but i say it is a very dark and bleak statement about man's capability of denial masquerading as an endearing comedy . 
the film's ending has been recognized as the most entirely uplifting moment of any film released recently , but i found it to be truly discerning and upsetting . 
essentially , life is beautiful is quite possibly the greatest hoax in the history of film . 
however , i am not denying the movie's greatness . 
believe me , it's fantastic . 
i'm just saying that i think benigni did something different than what most people are interpreting it as . 
but perhaps i'm reading more into the movie than is really there . 
maybe the film's brilliance relies on the idea that the viewer can interpret the meaning of it in any way they see fit . 
in fact , maybe roberto benigni has made a film that is the sole argument for the old saying that you get out of a movie exactly what you put into it . 
"
"1","most movies seem to release a third movie just so it can be called a trilogy . 
rocky iii seems to kind of fit in that category , but manages to be slightly unique . 
the rocky formula of "" rocky loses fight/rocky trains/rocky wins fight "" is carried out to the letter . 
also the 'tradition' of showing the last five minutes or so from the past rocky film is used as well . 
this movie begins with a series of clips showing how famous rocky ( sylvester stallone ) has become . . . 
even showing a brief appearance on sesame street ! ! 
then it moves on with rocky being in a fixed fight with thunderlips ( hulk hogan ) . 
a mysterious bad-ass known as clubber lang ( mr . t ) trash-talks to rocky about his stupid decision to retire from boxing and that he "" pities the fool "" for not coming out and fighting him outright . 
rocky's trainer ( burgess meredith ) tells rocky not to fight , but the italian stallion doesn't listen . 
naturally , he gets his ass kicked . 
somewhere along the line after this several things happen . 
rocky's longtime trainer dies , causing rocky to train with his former opponent apollo creed . 
rocky's wife complains to her husband that he should fight . 
the final fight ensues between clubber and rocky . 
guess who wins ? 
the winner's name rhymes with 'smocky' . 
the movie is entertaning mainly because of clubber lang's over the top performance . 
the dramatic aspect has been toned down considerably since rocky ii and now action seems to be the strong point of the film . 
which is good if you like fighting scenes . 
the last match is quite decent actually . 
if you liked the previous films , rent this one . 
it's well worth seeing if you are a fan of the series . 
but if you can't stand rocky shouting "" adrianne ! ! ! "" 
one more time , see something else . 
"
"1","review : a dog of flanders is the story of an adorable little boy named nello and his trials and tribulations in 19th century flanders . 
living with his grandfather jehan ( jack warden ) in poverty , nello finds happiness in his life in spite of difficult times ( they are renting a spare one-room cottage , and the greedy , malevolent landlord who owns it threatens to throw them `out of the house' if they don't pay the rent ) . 
nello also has a rather creative talent for drawing some of the most beautiful pictures that i have ever seen , in either a movie or in real life . 
 ( his hero is peter paul rubens , the great flemish painter of the 17th century . ) 
not that these are the only things that make nello's life happy , however . 
he has a dog of flanders , whom he names patrasche , who is a heroic rin-tin-tin of the 19th century , whom he rescues from his cruel , unkind master . 
in addition , he even has a best friend ( and future sweetheart ) in the lovely , wealthy aloise , whose father strongly disapproves of her hanging out with `lower-class' nello . 
 ( he thinks he's not good enough for her , and he would hate the idea of the two kids marrying . ) 
but then , he was a poor guy himself before he married ( as mentioned later on in the film ) . 
one day , nello encounters a mysterious , yet kindhearted artist named michel la grande ( played wonderfully by jon voight ) , who tells the boy to keep drawing from his heart , and that perhaps one day he might land a career in being an artist . 
and every christmas , there is a contest on which is the most beautiful painting of the year ; the winner getting a lot of money . 
eager to save his home ( and his aging , dying grandfather ) , nello willingly decides to become an artist , asking aloise to pose for him . 
one night , the two travel to a circus , where they have their fortune told ? one of the film's most delightful scenes ? that great happiness is destined for them . 
she gives the kids a ring , whom nello places on aloise's hand . 
 ; ) afterwards , the two kids have a rollickingly good time dancing around in front of circus performers . 
unfortunately , things are not all `la-dee-dah' in this tale . 
aloise's father finally becomes so angry with nello that he forbids him to ever see aloise again . 
bad enough that they can't see each other ( although we know nello and aloise , don't we ? ) , but that's only the start of nello's troubles . 
aloise's farm is burned down , and nello is wrongfully accused ( by the landord of his cottage ) for starting the fire in order to take revenge on being forbidden to see aloise . 
this decreases nello's reputation around the town , save aloise and her parents , and a kindly miller , william , who is very sweet to nello every time he drops by . 
matters get much worse for nello when his grandfather dies , and he has to pay for his funeral . 
but then things really get nasty when the landlord exiles nello from his own home ( for not paying his rental ) ? permanetly . 
this means that nello and patrasche have to starve and walk out in the cold , freezing wind . 
worst of all , the painting that he has desperately been working on during all this time , `the portrait of the princess' , fails to win the prize at the festival . 
now nello and patrasche are really depressed , and close to freezing to death . 
will nello be able to find any happiness in his life ? 
will patrasche save the day ? 
will nello make the fateful trip to join his mother and grandfather in paradise ? 
a dog of flanders is a delightful , heartwarming family film that is sure to entertain kids of all ages . 
even older ones who consider themselves too `sophisticated' for kiddie fare will be surprised to hear that this film is for grown-ups , too . 
there have been other movies of this ilk ( boy and dog ) , and while this one falls into that category , it is mostly a story about overcoming difficulties and finding a good home for yourself . 
move over ? or rather , roll over ? old yeller , this dog of flanders is a heartwarming delight . 
the cinematography , courtesy of walther van den ende is beautiful , and really adds to the powerful drama of the film . 
it also gives a feel of being in flanders ( the whole film was respectably shot in flanders ) . 
the music from richard friedman is also remarkable ; an evocative , poignant score that recaptures music from the 19th century . 
the opening song over the credits is very beautiful ( i hope the soundtrack is available ! ) , and there's a brief excerpt of `cheer up , charlie' from willy wonka and the chocolate factory ( sung by aloise , to nello , in another delightful scene ) . 
the cast is first-rate : jesse james and jeremy james kissner , who play nello , are some of the most endearing , adorable young stars i have ever seen in my whole life ( so are the girls who play aloise , madyline sweeten as the younger , and farren monet as the older ) . 
not that they are the only good stars , however . 
jack warden is ideal as jehan , eliciting just the right amount of humor and compassion required for the character . 
 ( the scenes involving him and nello are heartwarming , touching ones . ) 
also , bruce mcgill is charming as the kindly miller william . 
he's another one of my favorite characters in the film . 
but jon voight , as i mentioned before , is the perfect choice for michel . 
he brings a mysterious , yet gentle performance that makes us all feel good again when he reassures insecure nello that he * can * win the contest . 
but what makes this film fun to watch is how well-defined the characters are , and the pace of the story ( best of all , it has a happy ending ? though i will * not * give it away ; sorry ) is strong and powerful enough for us to identify with the characters . 
for the first time since the beginning of 1999 , there comes a film which doesn't rely on popular formula stuff , such as big-budget special effects , commercial rock soundtracks , or any of that stuff . 
this one relies on telling a fully character-oriented story , with just the right amount of heart , humor , and drama . 
that , to me , is what makes a dog of flanders all the more delightful . 
eleanor o'sullivan of `the home news & tribune' noticed this , and was kind and generous enough to welcome it : `for want of a better word , a glow surrounds a dog of flanders . 
its heart is in the right place and it engages you . 
you can guess where the film is going because this is well-traveled territory , but with pros like voight and appealing young performers like kissner , an often-told story is well worth a revisit . ' 
in addition , there were a couple of other enthusiasts , such as chicago-sun times and the washington post ( you should read their reviews ; they're really positive ) . 
other critics , however , were not so kind . 
stephen holden of `the new york times' had more than a share of beatings to lay upon a dog of flanders via pen writing . 
he found the film to be a `sea of sugary bromides' and condemned mr . voight's character as `hopelessly wooden ? adopts an accent even more indeterminate than the one he came up with for anaconda . ' 
in addition , `entertainment weekly' slam-dunked the film , condemning it as `the worst family film of the year . ' 
there have been so many other bad reviews like this , too . 
my suggestion : disregard the critics . 
they just have a big problem with touching family films , and one should never pay attention to them . 
this dog of flanders may only be a little `family' movie ( it probably won't be a big hit in the style of titanic , but then again no other film has been since then ) , but that is not a bad thing in and of itself . 
this is a story that is sure to warm your heart , and that is what really matters about a dog of flanders . 
it is also one of the better family films around this year . 
none of the other films i have seen this year ( though they were good ) have been so low-key and touching . 
if you're looking for family-style entertainment , look no further than this charming boy-and-dog yarn . 
go see it while you still can , for as i mentioned , it might not be a big bow-wow at the box office for a long time . 
see it while you can . 
there is really no need to compare a multi-million dollar blockbuster such as star wars : episode i ? the phantom menace or tarzan , or even the iron giant with a tender , sweet little family movie . 
"
"1","do film critics have morals ? 
are there any unwritten laws an ethical movie critic would or should follow ? 
naturally we don't want to go into a film with any preconceived notions , which is pretty tough but something we all have to accomplish . 
secondly , and along the same line , we can't prejudge a film because of it's stars , director , etc . the difference ? 
well , in the first one , we'd go into a film thinking it's going to be dumb or it's going to be good , and that would affect our viewing ( that movie sounds and looks dumb , so i'm not expecting much ) . 
on the second hand , we're simply assuming it will be bad or good because of a personal "" grudge "" against the film company ( it's made by disney ? 
oh , it's just a merchandising ploy then ) , the actors ( jim carrey's in it ? 
it's gonna stink ! ) , or the director ( who ? 
can't be that good ) . 
this is more of a biased viewpoint as opposed to a first impression viewpoint . 
make sense ? 
ok , but what about comparing ? 
isn't that kind of along the same lines ? 
when we compare a certain actor or director or even composer's credibility in one film to another they were involved in , is that really fair ? 
sure , in sequels you can expect and accept comparisons a lot more , but what about jackie brown , for example ? 
is it fair for me to take the review and turn it into a comparison of pulp fiction , just because quentin tarantino directed and wrote the screenplay for both ? 
i think it is , and i'll tell you why . 
a good critic should be able to view the film from the "" average joe ( or jane ) "" viewpoint , while still taking into account the artistic integrity behind the film . 
sometimes that can be tough . 
 "" the acting was superb , but i was bored "" or "" i loved it ! ! 
it was sooooo cheezy ! "" 
might be used to describe a film . 
these are contradictions , and a critic has to weigh both sides and come to a suitable balanced critique . 
but which is more important ? 
and which is better ? 
an extremely well shot and acted film that is boring , or a really amateurish film that you wanna go back to again and again ? 
getting back to the point , my philosophy on comparing films being fair works because we're reflecting what the public wants to know anyway . 
every average person out there who's interested in this film is likely to ask "" how does it compare to pulp fiction ? "" 
and so , as a critic , i'm already responsible to ask that same question . 
jackie brown stars pam grier , the "" blaxploitation "" heroine from the 1970's , who is likely to make a big comeback thanks to her role as the title character . 
tarantino's pulp fiction is in big part responsible for john travolta's sudden revival in the movie industry , and with talks of an oscar nomination , the same is likely to happen for grier . 
 ( we've made it thru comparison #1 ! ) jackie is a 44-year-old airline stewardess who brings in extra cash , and probably her main revenue , by smuggling large sums of money into the united states for ordell robbie ( pulp fiction's samuel l . jackson and comparison #2 ) . 
ordell is in the illegal firearms business and has enlisted the aid of louis gara ( robert de niro ) , a bank robber who just got out of prison after serving four years , to help him accomplish a scheme worth a half- million dollars . 
trouble arises when jackie is stopped by atf agent ray nicolet ( michael keaton ) and taken into custody for possession of narcotics , as well as having more money than is allowed in an airport without being claimed . 
naturally this proves an obstacle to ordell's plans and , not as friendly intended as we'd hope , he posts jackie's bail after she is put behind bars . 
the thing is , ordell is in this for no one more than himself , and as we learn from his previous actions , he's willing to kill anyone who stands in the way . 
jackie finds herself in a tight squeeze . 
ordell won't think twice about taking her out if she fails to help him as she's always done , yet at the same time , a compromise with the authorities would be in order if evidence against ordell was provided . 
it comes down to a simple question : would jackie rather face ordell or prison ? 
what ensues is a rich and intriguing example of storytelling as we question who jackie is really out to help : the law , ordell , or maybe just herself . 
coming into play is another 70's veteran , robert forster as jackie's bail bondsmen max cherry . 
max's obvious fondness for jackie will become a major benefactor in her fight to beat both sides of the system , and forster plays him with subtle charm that adds depth to unbrewed romance . 
also involved is ordell's "" surfer girl "" girlfriend melanie ( bridget fonda ) , a ditzy sun- bleached babe who spends her time watching tv with a bong in hand . 
fonda does the best she can with an essentially thin role , but there's nothing more to her , and therefore , she becomes a tossable addition to an otherwise flourishing bouquet of characters . 
de niro is also wasted in his role as a quiet nobody crook out to score a few bucks for himself . 
de niro is a brilliant actor , but a character who hardly ever speaks doesn't need a de niro to play him . 
compared to pulp fiction ( comparison #3 ) , the characters in jackie brown and very thin and replaceable . 
in pulp fiction , even the small , seemingly irrelevant characters were wonderful , complete , and lifelike , whereas jackie brown has such common figures that it wouldn't have suffered much with a lesser talented cast , the exception being grier . 
tarantino wrote this script with grier specifically in mind , so to say that she is made for this role is a reversed truth . 
sadly , grier too could have received a bit more attention , especially when the story is all about her newly-jarred perception of life . 
jackson teams up with tarantino again , but the chemical reaction isn't as awesome as the first time . 
jules was the rambling , bible-quoting hitman in pulp fiction , and jackson is the only person who could have pulled it off . 
and although jackson is really , really good in jackie brown , i don't think he's quite as irreplaceable . 
in fact , maybe a new face would have been better . 
jackson could've remained tarantino's jules , and a new guy could have become ordell , forever to remain so in our memories . 
sadly , these characters are too much the same , except ordell just isn't as impressive , and putting this in the hands of jackson once again is only going to deter from our fond recollections of jules . 
another problem is that ordell is way too focused on in the beginning . 
this is grier's film , so why spend so long getting to know a man who will become more of a supporting character as the film progresses ? 
it not only makes the movie feel a little too slanted , but it makes for a slow beginning because we have to take longer getting to the meat of the story . 
it is likely that those pouring into the theater to see this film are going to be those anxious to partake of tarantino's quirky dialogue and eccentric directing style , and not so much those interested in seeing a silver screen adaption of elmore leonard's novel "" rum punch "" . 
for those movie-goers , don't expect another pulp fiction and you'll be satisfied , for the script oozes with the familiar brash qualities that has made tarantino an icon of 90's film- making . 
the directing has toned down a bit , however , yet we're still reminded that this is tarantino's movie thanks to odd split-screen story-telling devices and scenes being replayed multiple times from different viewpoints . 
so getting back to the question that i began with , this isn't pulp fiction at all . 
it's good , but it isn't anything that made pulp fiction such a revolutionary effort in the first place . 
this is a more conservative tarantino , but not one that won't satiate true fans . 
if you can realize that this isn't going to knock your socks off , then you'll be happy to at least let it massage your feet . 
after all , we all know how much tarantino loves that particular part of the human anatomy . 
"
"1","synopsis : retiring detective jerry black ( nicholson ) becomes involved in the case of a murdered girl , and promises her parents that he will find the killer . 
he purchases a gas station on a route he believes the killer takes , and there befriends lori ( wright penn ) and her young daughter . 
as jerry and lori fall in love , can he do what must be done to fulfill his pledge ? 
review : at first , "" the pledge "" appears to be just another standard , if well-executed , crime drama . 
it is anything but ; in its final hour , it turns the corner and becomes a riveting , terrifying study of its lead character , jerry black . 
penn pays attention to all the trappings of the serial killer genre , but they are just window dressing . 
his interest here , unequivocally , is jerry , a man so haunted by his pledge that it consumes the entirety of the his existence . 
at first , we see this only in small hints ; some of his habits change , for instance , and he suddenly takes up smoking in a big way . 
but then , when jerry buys the gas station and befriends lori , the true extent of his mania draws horrifyingly into focus . 
nicholson is fantastic , portraying black with rare subtlety and animus ; jerry's gradual descent into obsession is like a car wreck , a thing horrible to look at but impossible to turn away from . 
penn coaxes good supporting performances from much of the rest of his cast , too . 
only eckhart disappoints as jerry's replacement , stan ; he never seems entirely convincing , too much a tool of the plot . 
penn's direction is astounding , each frame looking as though it is parched -- of water , perhaps , or of sanity . 
it all builds up to a shattering , devastating climax which lingers uncomfortably in the mind long after the house lights have come up . 
"
"1","one never quite knows what one is going to get with a mamet film . 
his american buffalo is a set-bound piece that has very little plot . 
sometimes he will tell a story that really moves . 
heist is mamet doing his most entertaining work . 
unlike his the spanish prisoner , there are no lapses in credibility . 
heist is probably the best mamet thriller since house of games . 
it is the kind of plot with which you are never sure who will double-cross whom , and frequently it is mamet double-crossing the viewer . 
watching the film's team getting around security the viewer is frequently asking himself either "" what the heck are they doing ? "" 
or "" why didn't anybody think of that before ? "" 
appropriately enough heist opens with a very clever jewelry store job . 
it is so clever that one wonders if mamet really thinks up all these ideas himself or if he has help from professional magician and con expert ricky jay , now a regular actor in mamet films . 
this is a robbery that works like a well-oiled machine . 
there is just one problem and it is enough to get joe moore ( played by gene hackman ) filmed on a security camera . 
now joe has to get out of the business . 
it was coming time anyway . 
joe's team including bobby blane ( delroy lindo ) , fran moor ( rebecca pidgeon ) , and pinky pincus ( ricky jay ) is going to split up and go separate ways . 
but crime boss bergman ( danny devito ) is pulling the strings and he says that joe and his people have to manage one more robbery . 
and he has to take along a young kid , the short- fused jimmy silk ( sam rockwell ) . 
immediately it is obvious that there is more going on than meets the eye . 
much of what distinguishes heist is mamet's dialog . 
remarkably it serves a double purpose . 
the robbery team sounds at once very professional and at the same time it has mamet's special feel for dialog . 
hackman has lines like "" everybody needs money . 
that's why they call it money . "" 
mamet's timing is perfect in the direction but terrible in the production . 
the plot is coincidentally a lot like the plot of the recent the score , which is , in fact , a very similar story . 
both are good films , perhaps for some of the same reasons . 
but at least on a high level they are much the same story . 
the other problem with the timing of heist is that it involves airport security and clever ways to get around them . 
i saw the film at the toronto international film festival on september 12 , 2001 . 
that made the subject matter just a little too timely . 
my understanding is that the release will be delayed . 
my biggest problem with the film is that rebecca pidgeon's acting at times seems very poor . 
it is some kind of mamet trademark i do not understand to have women talk without inflection , as if they are just reading the words for the first time . 
it is an irritation and distracts us from what is otherwise a very good thriller . 
it is one i rate an 8 on the 0 to 10 scale and a high +2 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"1","'contact' shows why jodie foster is one of our best actresses . 
see contact with your family . 
it is a movie for all ages . 
--a review by stuart cracraft 
contact starring : jodie foster , matthew mcconaughey , john hurt director : robert zemeckis star 
after a predictable mit phillip morrison powers-of-10 zoom-out start ( which can be surprising to those not familiar with prof . morrison's work ) , contact picks up steam , gradually , building , by-the-end , an irresistable juggernaut and a very good movie that does not as is so often the case fall out-of-balance in terms of too much pandering to the technological "" geek "" side . 
by the end , the audience is left with what good science fiction is supposed to do : evoke a sense of wonder about the universe and evoke questions in your mind about what's out there . 
this movie does not let technology overshadow characterization and in this sense it is unusual amongst high-tech movies . 
however , except for jodie foster ( elie arroway ) and john hurt ( s . r . 
hadden ) , who are both actors of exceptional caliber , the supporting cast are not especially impressive . 
hurt certainly has had better roles ( stephen ward in scandal ) . 
this one , as the multi-billionare hadden , does not do his acting skills justice . 
this is clearly a foster movie by one of the great hollywood lights of our generation . 
foster's radiance has never been more strong than in the scene where she finally meets the vegans on their terms . 
early scenes take a long , long time to build up to this . 
the movie's pacing is very good and subtle . 
the panoramas of the radio dishes at arecibo and ceti in new mexico and puerto rico are beautiful . 
the politics of foster's character attempting to obtain funding for research at these places are trite and predictable however . 
one of the most entertaining , but very short scenes , is when foster is confronted by rob lowe , during a cabinet-level presidential meeting to discuss the alien invitation . 
there were real sparks in this scene between foster and lowe and it would behoove them to consider other vehicles in which this dynamism could be explored . 
it is the only scene in the movie in which there were tremendous dynamics between two characters . 
everything else was very one-sided ( e . g . 
foster ) . 
lowe can stand up to foster and it showed in that scene at the cabinet table . 
the core scene of the movie is set on a surrealistic beach on a far-away world in the starsystem of vega . 
it feels a lot like science fiction writer john varley's scenes in his book steel beach , where the female protagonists encounters an immensely superior intelligence , in one case a computer manufactured by mankind itself , and in foster's case , an illusion drawn from her memory . 
in another sense , this immensely moving scene evokes gene roddenberry's star trek pilot the cage , later the menagerie , when jeffrey hunter and susan oliver have their memories manipulated to create new worlds in which they live and encounter aliens . 
the concept is not new , by any sense , in the world of science fiction . 
but the beach scene , which is the centerpiece of the film , as is the whole film , is driven by foster . 
freed from her needs to direct by director zemecki , foster is able to let it all hang out in the characterization and the lead she provides to her supporting cast . 
as the movie gains speed , foster's acting intensifies and the audience really does experience it with her . 
it is certainly oscar-caliber acting , unquestionably . 
the supporting cast does well and zemeckis throws in some humor with some president clinton cameos , cleverly manipulated , george stephanopolus-style , to seem very forrest gump . 
in fact , zemeckis et . 
al . 
got in trouble for the usage of some of the footage seen in the movie , vis a vis clinton . 
but the audience i attended this movie with just had some good chuckles at clinton's walk-ons . 
the much-discussed tension between science and religion in this movie is not particularly insightful to those who have already gone through this course though it is helpful to those in the audience who have not . 
also , the near-final scene , in a senate judiciary hearing room is disappointing . 
contact is a fitting memorial to the memory of carl sagan , science popularizer , and sometime pedantic gadfly of the halls of academe . 
perhaps now , sagan can be said to be with his dragons of eden . 
"
"1","like the wonderful 1990 drama , "" awakenings , "" starring robin williams and robert de niro , "" at first sight , "" directed by irwin winkler , is inspired by a true story documented by physicfirst sight , "" directed by irwin winkler , is inspired by a true story documented by physician oliver sacks . 
since "" awakenings "" was so very good , and made my top ten list the year it was released , "" at first sight "" is not quite as strong since it is not directed with as sure a hand as penny marshall , but is still an intelligent and vibrantly-acted drama . 
the film begins as amy ( mira sorvino ) , a stressed-out new york architect , decides to take some time off and travel upstate to the country . 
at the hotel she is staying at , she makes a massage appointment and after a long , soothing session which ends with her crying as a release of emotions , she strikes up a conversation with the handsome masseur virgil ( val kilmer ) , only to find out later that he is actually blind . 
amy doesn't really care if he has a handicap or not , and begins to spend time with him more and more until they finally start to fall in love . 
once she has returned to new york , amy begins to research on virgil's certain type of retinal blindness , which he has had since three years of age , and out of a stroke of luck , comes into contact with a doctor ( bruce davison ) who believes he can repair virgil's sight , even though there have only been thirty similar cases in history . 
at first reluctant , virgil finally travels with amy to nyc and agrees to the surgery , much to the hesitance of his overbearing , but loving older sister ( kelly mcgillis ) . 
ultimately , the surgery is a success , but problems arise since virgil cannot relate to what he sees , since he has never visually seen anything before , only touched objects . 
he moves into amy's apartment and she is eager to stand by him , but virgil's maladjustment begins to put a strain on their relationship . 
on the basis of the overall story , "" at first sight "" is indeed a film that has been done many times before , and owes a great deal to its predecessor , "" awakenings . "" 
what will happen throughout the film can also be easily telegraphed in advance . 
however , what helps "" at first sight "" rise above this predictability is in the mature and intelligent relationship that develops between virgil and amy . 
usually , romantic pictures are of the shameless puppy-dog sort ( the recent tom hanks/meg ryan-starrer "" you've got mail "" immediately pops to mind ) , but with this film , i grew to care more about the characters and their plight . 
the film starts off noticably well as amy travels up north and first meets virgil . 
the massaging sequences were strangely erotic , maybe even more so than the later actual "" love scenes , "" and as their romantic involvement quickly developed , the film was both entertaining and sweet , and there was clearly a lot of chemistry between the two . 
these joyous moments early on balanced out well with the later scenes in which their relationship is seriously tested due to a contrast in the life styles that they have always known , with virgil completely used to being blind and having a comforting , peaceful life in the country to amy's eventful life in the "" big city . "" 
the other major compliment that must be given to the film are the nearly flawless performances across the board . 
val kilmer , usually cast in the "" macho "" type of role , was always believable as a blind person , and playing his character was probably a little more tricky than it appears . 
it was up to kilmer to not come off as someone to pity , but to sympathize with , and he pulled it off . 
mira sorvino , who made a spectacular debuting splash in 1995's hilarious woody allen comedy , "" mighty aphrodite , "" for which she won a well-deserved oscar as a kind-hearted , but ditzy hooker , is a standout here . 
although she has made some mediocre film choices since then ( 1997's "" mimic , "" 1998's "" the replacement killers "" ) , she always has managed to come out unscathed , and it is with "" at first sight "" that she finally has another juicy role to play . 
in a truthful climactic scene set in amy's apartment between she and virgil , sorvino proves to be one of the most gifted young actresses around today , and has a flare for both comedic and dramatic pieces . 
kelly mcgillis , who could have easily come off as the "" bad , "" one-dimensional sister , instead is also given an unexpectedly multifaceted character to play as a woman who may be overly protective but simply cares for her brother . 
finally , nathan lane , who is usually a little too over-the-top , is appropriately restrained as a vision therapist . 
the one misstep of "" at first sight "" is in its treatment of the medical procedure done on virgil . 
very little is ever said or discussed concerning it , and when the surgery occurs , it is so briefly glimpsed at that it is impossible to see what is being done to his eyes . 
perhaps the reason this aspect of the film was not more in-depth was that the makers were afraid it would gross out audiences , but i would personally take realism , even if it is graphic , any day over simply giving the explanation of the surgery the cold shoulder . 
in "" awakenings , "" the patients and illness were far more satisfyingly portrayed . 
because of how strong the screenplay , written by steve levitt , is in the way it deals with the main relationship , and because of the fabulous performances from kilmer and sorvino , the film's few problems can be swept over to the side . 
the adult way that the romance is depicted by director irwin winkler is , no doubt , in respect to the real-life couple that the film was inspired by , who are still together after many years ( even though the setting of the film was changed to new york ) . 
since january is usually the time of year that is known as the dumping ground from bad movies , "" at first sight "" comes as a refreshing and sophisticated change of pace . 
"
"1","in the company of men made a splash at the sundance film festival because , in a year plagued by brothers mcmullen-style , earnestly shallow gen-x angst pictures , it seemed to be actually about something . 
it angered people , started arguments outside the theater , riled things up . 
it ignited a spark of excitement in what otherwise has been a disappointing year for independent film . 
having endured my share of the hype , i waited calmly for men to reach the hinterlands wherein i reside , and then checked in to see what all the fuss was about . 
does men live up to its press ? 
well , yes it does . 
and it may make you think twice before you consider dating anyone your office . 
for the uninitiated , newcomers aaron eckhart and matt malloy play chad and howard , two corporate drones who are dispatched by their nameless company to a remote branch office for a six week assignment . 
chad and howard are archetypes , examples of which you can no doubt find in your own place of business . 
chad is the blond golden boy , genetically engineered for success , the natural charmer who seems to glide effortlessly up the corporate ladder . 
howard is chad's boss , but he is weaker of will , the clumsy practitioner of office politics who has achieved his position through dogged persistence rather than raw talent . 
we first meet them awaiting their flight in a drab airport lounge . 
there chad suggests a scheme worthy of a shakespearean villain : he and howard will find a vulnerable single woman at the branch office , woo her simultaneously , win her love , and then dump her . 
the reason ? 
both men have recently been dumped themselves , and chad sees an easy route to revenge against the fairer sex . 
 "" it'll restore a little dignity to our lives , "" he says . 
howard , helpless against the force of chad's will , agrees to the plan . 
they quickly spot their prey in the form of christine ( stacy edwards ) , a fragile deaf woman working as a temp . 
chad moves in for the kill , flashing his golden boy smile , plying christine with lunch , then flowers , then dinner . 
howard follows suit , though his efforts are in contrast ham-handed and desperate . 
flattered to have the attention of two eligible men , christine dates them both . 
you can guess which one she falls for . 
soon a tragic lovers' triangle develops : christine loves chad , chad loves himself , and howard loves christine on the grounds that , since she's handicapped and shy , she just might be wretched and lonely enough to settle for him . 
adult social interaction never really progresses beyond the level of junior high , does it ? 
in chad , writer/director labute and actor eckhart have created one of the most chilling monsters ever committed to film-hannibal lector may eat human flesh , but chad is an eater of souls . 
his evil is as subtle as a viper's , and as easy as his smile . 
we watch in stunned disbelief as he back-stabs coworkers , humiliates his subordinates , and works his deadly venom into christine's heart . 
his character would be a joke if he wasn't so chillingly real- all of us have worked with a chad , and some of us may be him . 
he's the guy who takes your job and then laughs at you for your weakness . 
if one of his co-workers should happen to go postal and walk into the office with a bag full of handguns , he had best have his escape route clearly in mind . 
politics is his game , and the modern cubicle-filled office is his playground . 
men wears the guise of a black comedy , but it functions best as allegory . 
the most controversial moment in the film happens when chad humiliates a black temp by asking him how badly he wants to succeed in the company , then forces him to prove it in a manner i won't describe . 
the scene is charged with racism and fraught with peril . 
could it happen in the real world ? 
probably not . 
taken as allegory , however , it is representative of the treatment of the meek by the powerful in all facets of society . 
maybe it's just the english major in me , but chad , in his motiveless cruelty towards christine and his careful manipulation of howard , can be seen as a symbol of unbridled capitalism , of greed without conscience . 
the entire film is a metaphor for social darwinism- only the strong will survive . 
the marvel of labute's multi-layered script is that it can disturb each member of its audience in an entirely different way . 
but does the film work as entertainment ? 
its darned funny in spots , particularly in the men's room scenes , which demonstrate the lengths to which guys will go to hold a conversation while engaged in the most basic of bodily functions . 
it works less well as drama , since by necessity the characters in an allegory tend to be flat ciphers . 
stacy edwards gives a measured dignity to christine , and succeeds in making us care for her , but by the end of the film we still know nothing about her . 
likewise , chad and howard are simply the sum of their actions . 
by the end of the film you'll feel as if you've met a genuine monster in chad ; perhaps we can also classify men as a horror film . 
certainly those expecting a conventional hollywood resolution to the story will walk away disappointed . 
but the picture is often mesmerizing , and the script is a work of fine craftsmanship , which makes it well worth your time . 
like all good films , it offers a myriad of parallels to the outside world . 
while watching chad in his moment of triumph , i couldn't help but think that bill gates must have felt the same sort of cold , merciless satisfaction when he finally stuck it to steve jobs . 
there may be a little bit of chad in all of us , but some of us have taken chad-ness to the level of art . 
"
"1","the booming introduction music finishes , and the camera sweeps over red mountains . 
we see two figures looking over a barren , and very red landscape . 
they kiss , then walk on . 
one of the characters ( schwarzenegger ) slips , and falls . 
the glass on his mask cracks . 
his face scruches up , and his eye's begin to pop . . . . . 
then doug quaid , played by schwarzenegger , wakes up . 
it's all been a dream . 
he wakes up next to his beautiful wife , played by stone , and the film begins . . . 
total recall is a typical sci-fi film wrapped around an intresting ( if far fetched ) plot . 
quaid , who has never been to mars , keeps on having dreams of the planet , which has now been colanised . 
one day , while riding on a train , he's see's a ad for a company called 'rekall' , which implants memories of a holiday , instead of you actually going there yourself . 
quaid chooses the 'secret agent on mars' memory , and then the s * * * really hits the fan . 
the implant goes wrong , and quaid really thinks he is an agent on mars for about two minutes , until he goes back to normal and can't remember a thing . 
however , everyone he knows ( his workmates , his wife ) turn against him , saying how 'blabbed about mars' and 'blew his cover on the mission' a strange man , called richter , played by ironside , wants to kill him . 
quaid , now hopelessly confused , follows the advice given to him , by a 'friend' . 
he get's his ass to mars . 
mars is ruled by cohagen , played by cox , who charges people for air . 
against him are the rebels , who are mainly mutants . 
the rebel's need quaid to defeat cohagen , because quaid knows ( but can't remember yet ) about a reactor that produces air . 
eventually , quaid kills cohagen , turns on the reactor , saves the planet , and goes away with a beautiful girl , just like the guy at rekall promised him . 
throughout this plot , there is huge explosions , thousands of deaths ( and i mean a lot of death ) swearing , sex , and everything else that make's a good verhoeven ( director of basic instinct and starship troopers ) movie . 
naturally , there's some pretty imaginative deaths , with arms getting ripped off , someone getting drilled , and heads exploding . 
as you can tell , it's violent stuff . 
but it's done so stylishly , and of course arnie tones it down with a one liner , that's it excusable . 
the acting is variable . 
arnie , of course , is useless , but he goes has some good lines , and in the first twenty minutes , he even act's like a normal bloke , not like some action hero . 
stone , of course , is useless , making a pretty poor wife , and a pretty poor action hero . 
but , she does sex scenes alright . 
ticoton ( most recently seen in con air ) , again , is ok , doing some good action , but getting her emotions all wrong . 
one minute she hates quaid , the next she loves him , and she never gets this tranisition right . 
so , the good guys are awful . 
but , the bad guy's are excellent . 
cox is basically reprising robocop , but he's still great in this , and he delivers the best line in the whole film near the end . 
ironside is superbly evil , with an utterly emotionless face . 
the supporting cast are fine , and not even the comedy sidekick ( this time in the form of a taxi driver ) is annoying . 
one disappointing aspect , though , are the special effects . 
ilm and dreamquest do some good work ( such as a subway station scene ) but the model work is not so good . 
some of the model heads look appaling fake , and quatto is a major disappointment . 
another irritating thing is the product placement . 
there are a lot of plugs ( and a good mars today gag ) however , the sets look great , and the special effects at the end of the film aren't too bad either . 
there's also a good soundtrack running through , by jerry goldsmith ( the omen , poltergeist , star trek : the motion picture ) 
overall , then , total recall is a hugely violent , yet hugely enjoyable , action fest , with a reasonable plot thrown in there too , some great bad guys , and some imaganitive death . 
for a schwarzenegger movie , this is not bad at all . 
in fact , it's very good . 
"
"1","jonathan demme's _beloved_ , based on the book toni morrison , is a study in skillful literary adaptation . 
on the one hand , the film manages to recreate key moments from the novel , evoking morrison's pragmatic narrative style without using her authorial voice . 
on the other hand , beloved omits the some of the finer details of the book , favoring an ambiguously defined back story upon which to build the story's main events . 
this choice is a smartly made one , for it creates an open space in which the story's wide range of emotions can gestate and grow . 
indeed , the impact of the film is so protracted that much of it cannot be felt until long after the end credits have rolled . 
_beloved_ takes place in the second half of the 19th century , during the so-called reconstruction era after the civil war . 
for newly-freed slaves , it is a time of confusion and turmoil . 
oprah winfrey is sethe , a slave who escaped a kentucky plantation and took her children to an ohio farmhouse , where she hoped the terror would end . 
what she did not know was that it would follow her there , and remain with her long after the physical threat had vanished . 
_beloved_ ultimately tells the story of sethe's search for forgiveness , one long-hampered by an unforgettable sin . 
the film starts off on a dreary day ten years after sethe's escape , as a violent , unseen energy rocks her dilapidated farmhouse . 
invisible hands terrorize her family , flinging objects across rooms , shaking tables , rattling floorboards . 
sethe's sons run away , perhaps for good , leaving sethe and her daughter denver to fend for themselves . 
demme's matter-of-fact handling of this supernatural element is just one of _beloved_'s intriguing aspects . 
all of the characters take for granted that ghosts are real . 
when paul d ( danny glover ) -- a former slave who escaped kentucky along with sethe -- arrives at the house eight years later and is confronted with the ghost's hellish visions , he doesn't run in terror . 
instead , he asks who the ghost is . 
as in morrison's novel , demme quickly establishes that the horror of the story will not come from the fact of the ghost itself , but from the terrifying past in which the ghost was created . 
sethe is the one being haunted , but the ghost in the house is the least of her fears . 
in fact , the ghost is one of the reasons she chooses to stay . 
the story takes an bizarre turn with the appearance of beloved ( thandie newton ) , a young black-clad woman who appears on sethe's front lawn , leaned christ-like against a tree stump . 
sethe and denver immediately take to the rasping woman and try to nurse her to health . 
they know not who she is , but that doesn't matter . 
only paul d is suspicious of the stranger . 
little does the family know that beloved will bring about many changes , and force sethe to release a guilt she has held onto so urgently for eighteen years . 
winfrey is arguably beloved's greatest asset . 
she inhabits the role of sethe so convincingly it is hard to believe this is the same woman who shines brightly on a tv talk show . 
lisa gay hamilton does an impressive job in the emotionally demanding role as the younger sethe , whose appalling actions make her the disturbed woman we see eighteen years later . 
danny glover is affable as the sympathetic paul d , as is kimberly elise as denver , sethe's wanderlusting daughter . 
as sethe's sage-like mother-in-law old baby suggs , beah richards authoritatively commands every scene in which she appears . 
the film's least palatable choice of casting is unfortunately that of the role of beloved herself . 
thandie newton plays the glassy-eyed girl with a demented fervor which is endearing at first , but which becomes off-putting and unintentionally laughable by the end . 
departing from the honed aesthetic he used in such films as _the silence of the lambs_ and _melvin & howard_ , director demme has used a bit of dramatic overstatement to get across the vivid descriptions in morrison's novel . 
totemic camera shots and color-saturated scenery are decidedly uncommon in demme's films , but the few he uses here work to the film's benefit . 
_beloved_'s most memorable scenes are those of baby suggs' gatherings in a forest clearing , where the bright yellow-greens of nature entrance the viewer as much as suggs' words do . 
for the most part , though , demme maintains his trademark directorial neutrality . 
this , combined with morrison's equally frugal method of storytelling , may make _beloved_ somewhat of a challenge to watch , even to those familiar with the book . 
though the film compliments the book extraordinarily well , it falls short in allowing the sort of accessibility one usually expects from a film . 
nothing is spoon-fed to the viewer . 
morrison's novel is just as enigmatic , but unlike a movie , a book can be put down to allow the various undercurrents and themes to churn and absorb . 
the movie begins like _poltergeist_ , and ends like _the color purple_ , with shades of _the scarlet letter_ and _little women_ somewhere in the middle . 
taken as a whole , beloved is a disquieting , one-of-a-kind experience , one to be viewed with guards down and spirits in abeyance . 
"
"1","scream 2 isn't quite as clever as its predecessor , but it fills the gap with a cutting wit . 
death -- even gruesome , bloody death -- can be funny if handled the right way ( some will be offended by this statement , but you need look no further than pulp fiction for an example ) . 
and , while there's plenty of horror to go around in scream 2 , the latest '90s slasher flick incarnation , there are also a few laughs to be had . 
scream 2 is a slice-and-dice movie for those who don't take their horror too seriously . 
the success of the original scream took everyone in the industry by surprise . 
the unexpected blockbuster , whose gross soared over the $100 million mark during its six month release window , opened just about a year ago and turned into one of the most profitable horror films of all time . 
a sequel was inevitable ; fortunately , nearly the entire creative team has returned for scream 2 , including director wes craven , screenwriter kevin williamson , and actors neve campbell , courtney cox , david arquette , jamie kennedy , and liev schreiber . 
as stipulated by one of the "" rules of sequels "" uttered by a movie- obsessed character in the film , the body count in scream 2 is higher than that in the original . 
paradoxically , there's a lot less gore . 
there is blood , of course , but nothing excessive by slasher-movie standards , and there are no depictions of spilled entrails . 
craven has remembered that scares are more important that graphic displays of human insides and bodily fluids . 
a second strength of scream 2 is that it features a gallery of legitimate characters rather than a group of cardboard cut-out stereotypes lined up for slaughter . 
after all , we've known some of these people for two movies -- it's almost impossible not to care about them at least a little . 
scream 2 opens approximately two years after the original . 
as in the first picture , there's a slick , self-mocking prologue . 
this time , the victims are jada pinkett and omar epps , whose characters are visiting a local theater for a preview screening of the movie stab ( which is based on the "" true life "" events of scream ) . 
some of the smartest dialogue comes during this sequence as pinkett bemoans the lack of african american participation in horror films ( it's surely no coincidence that , in addition to pinkett and epps , scream 2 features two black characters ) . 
shortly thereafter , she and her boyfriend have been gutted , signaling the beginning of a series of copycat murders . 
craven lets loose a burst of tongue-in-cheek creativity for the "" movie within a movie "" sequences . 
they give him an opportunity to openly parody scream -- an act that he accomplishes with great panache . 
stab features heather graham in the "" casey becker "" role ( played in the original by drew barrymore ) and tori spelling as "" sidney prescott "" ( neve campbell ) . 
sadly , we only see a couple of scenes from stab . 
it would have been a little more fun , i think , had craven used joe dante's approach from matinee and shown lengthy excerpts from his satirical production . 
following the prologue , we are re-introduced to sidney prescott , who has left her sleepy hometown to go to windsor college . 
her friend randy ( jamie kennedy ) is a student there as well , and he's just as knowledgeable about horror films as ever . 
once the double murder at stab becomes big news , the media converges on windsor , looking to interview the original victim . 
at the head of the flock of vultures is gale weathers ( courtney cox ) , who has a little surprise for sidney . 
she has brought cotton weary ( liev schreiber ) , the man sidney falsely accused of murder , with her . 
also arriving at the college is deputy dewey ( david arquette ) , who is there to act as a big brother to sidney during this latest round of tribulations . 
in addition to the survivors from the original scream , the field of potential victims is well-populated . 
there's a blond co-ed named cece ( sarah michelle gellar , who has now appeared in two of williamson's movies -- this one and i know what you did last summer ) ; sidney's requisite boyfriend , derek ( jerry o'connell ) ; a local newswoman ( laurie metcalf ) ; gale's new cameraman ( duane martin ) ; a british drama teacher ( david warner ) ; and several sorority sisters and would-be sorority sisters ( portia de rossi , rebecca gayheart , elise neal , marisol nichols ) . 
ultimately , there are lots of attractive corpses . 
from the stab scenes to lines like "" brothers don't last long in situations like this , "" craven and williamson are clearly having a lot of fun with scream 2 , and the movie is enjoyable , if a little overlong ( the livelier first hour is better than the second ) . 
their resolution to the obligatory "" whodunit ? "" 
is less of a letdown than it could be , and knowingly offers a wink and nod at past unmasking scenes . 
 ( "" nice twist , "" quips the killer . 
 "" didn't see it coming , didya ? "" ) 
one senses , however , that , by the end of this picture , the overall concept of a hip , self-referential slasher film has been played out . 
supposedly , there's going to be a scream 3 , but , if the film makers don't come up with something radical , we could end up with a classic case of sequel overkill . 
"
"1","when 17 year old beau hall ( jonathan tucker , "" the virgin suicides "" ) gets in a car accident after drinking with his 30 year old companion , club owner darby reese ( josh lucas , "" session 9 "" ) , his mom , margaret ( tilda swinton , "" the war zone "" ) pays reese a visit to convince him to leave her son alone . 
instead , reese travels out to their lake tahoe home and lures beau out to the boat house where beau learns that his mother was right about reese . 
the next morning margaret discovers darby's dead body on their beach and , suspecting the worst , weights it down in a distant part of the lake . 
but her troubles are just beginning , as she soon learns with the arrival of blackmailer alek spera ( goran visnjic , "" practical magic "" ) in "" the deep end . "" 
the incredibly pale , red-headed scottish actress swinton immerses herself into the role of the reserved american super-mom whose life revolves around serving the needs of her three children and live-in father-in-law jack ( peter donat , "" the game "" ) . 
she shows great strength while allowing other emotions to glimmer through - discomfort at challenging reese in his gay disco ( named the deep end ) , near panic at having to dive down to his body to retrieve car keys , or even wry humor when an attempt to get help from jack becomes hopelessly miscommunicated . 
gradually her loneliness becomes apparent ( her husband's a naval officer , usually away at sea ) when her attempts to email him her concerns about beau are deleted and later , when a most unusual , yet chaste , romance turns tragic . 
it's a terrific performance . 
the stendahl syndrome-like script , adapted from elisabeth sanxay holding's 40's noir novel 'the blank wall' by directors scott mcgehee and david siegel , would be unbelievable if not for swinton and her costar visnjic . 
alek spera is a wrong side of the tracks loser who arrives after reese's body has been discovered . 
he shows margaret a videotape of beau having sex with reese and demands $50 , 000 or he'll turn the tape over to the reno police . 
subsequent visits will turn his mind set upside down and backwards , though , as he comes to admire and even love the woman he set out to blackmail . 
there's yet another problem , though - his partner nagle ( raymond barry , "" dead man walking "" ) is a harder cored criminal who won't let up until his share of the money is delivered . 
visnjic's dark , brooding turn has an interior shading to it that makes us believe he's a victim of circumstance and environment . 
his turnaround is palpable as he witnesses margaret's inherent decency and her workaday surroundings . 
also outstanding is tucker as beau , who has a terrific character arc and pas de deux with his mother . 
initially beau's the typical sullen teen . 
'you're blowing this out of proportion , ' he says of her concerns about reese , not comprehending that his mom has enough insight to have divined the true nature of the relationship . 
as his mom gets in deeper and deeper trying to cover up a crime he didn't commit , beau becomes suspicious of her actions and apparent new companion , turning tables . 
his early black eye becomes her later split lip . 
while the two can never be completely honest with each other , their love for each other comes through strongly . 
the directors ( "" suture "" ) have a firm grip on their material and cast . 
the story builds perfectly with bold strokes amidst a myriad of subtler underpinnings . 
water imagery is constant ( an early shot of weirdly rushing green is revealed to be a young boy cleaning out an aquarium ) . 
giles nuttgens ( "" fire "" ) cinematography , which won the 2001 sundance festival award , is crisp and startlingly clear . 
the tahoe locations and production design by kelly mcgehee and christopher tandon provide a dual personality for the film , contrasting the calm , well off existence of the lake against the gambling city of reno . 
 "" the deep end "" is a complex story of domino deeds and shifting relationships . 
take the plunge . 
"
"1","leonardo decaprio ( what's eating gilbert grape ) and claire danes ( tv's my so called life ) star in director baz luhrmann's modernized version of william shakespeare's classic , romeo & juliet . 
surrounded by a superb supporting cast , in-cluding paul sorvino ( goodfellas ) , brian dennehy ( tommy boy ) , pete poslethwaite ( the usual sus-pects ) and john leguizamo ( executive decision ) , decaprio and danes shine throughout the film . 
the story starts off at a gas station , where the "" montague boys "" meet the "" capulet boys "" and square off with one another . 
symbolizing the swords of shakespeare's day were their weapons , like the "" rapier-9mm "" or the "" longsword- shotgun . "" 
instead of killing each other right away , they shoot around , just like in sword fights of old . 
another great thing about the film was the performance of harold perrineau as romeo's best friend . 
mercutio , who in shakespeare's novel was quite a stud , was portrayed as an afri-can-american cross-dresser whose violent na-ture , was a definite plus . 
miriam margoyles , a virtually unknown actress was astounding as juliet's nurse , even though she was never given a name . 
she was the only one who could keep juliet out of her fantasy world . 
verona was the home of the rival families in shakespeare's version , only slightly changed in luhrmann's . 
now known as verona beach , the capulet's ( led by sorvino ) and montague's ( led by dennehy ) are now rival corporate dynasties . 
and their small family skirmishes were now huge gang wars . 
one slight problem with the film was the difficulty to comprehend the dialogue , since it was spoken in old english . 
sub-titles could have helped in the beginning of the movie , but toward the end , it became easier to understand . 
this excellent movie poses another prob-lem : what genre is it ? 
romeo & juliet contains so much drama , yet enough comedy and action to be placed in either of those categories . 
with the same award-winning formula that was used by quentin tarantino in reservoir dogs and pulp fiction , romeo & juliet is a sure fire modern masterpiece . 
 , 
"
"1","voices . . . . . trey parker , matt stone , george clooney , minnie driver . 
 "" south park : bigger , longer and uncut "" is undoubtedly crude , offensive , mean-spirited movie , that comes off as a politcally correct movie too . 
if your canadian , a strong christian , fat , gay or anything else , you will be offended . 
but when you watch this movie , there is no doubt that you will laugh . 
based on the wildly popular comedy central tv show , south park stars cartman , an overweight , foul-mouthed kid , with attitude , and a sweet side . 
kenny , a poor kid who gets killed in every episode , and talks with his coat hood covering his head . 
stan a regular , sometimes boring kid who has problems with women . 
and kyle a lonely jew who talks to his poop . 
the movie opens with a funny , but messageable song , that all of the people of south park sing . 
cartman , stan , kenny and kyle are very excited to see the new terrance and phillip ( beavis and butthead types ) movie "" asses of fire "" . 
but when the kids get up to the movie to get the tickets , they learn the movie is rated r , which of course means that anyone under the age of 17 cannot get in without a parent or legal guardian . 
the kids do not understand this , and they pay a homeless man to buy their tickets . 
while in the movie , laughing at the movie , terrance and phillip cuss repeatedly entertaining the kids . 
they kids then go out and cuss themselves , getting in trouble and causing kyle's mom to go against the mpaa . 
while doing this kenny learns a thing or to , by proving to cartman he can light his fart on fire . 
kenny does so , dies , and goes to hell , to find out that satan and saddam huiessan ( homosexual lovers ) , are about to take over the world , if terrance and phillip die . 
>from here on , nothing more should be said to keep the rest a surprise . 
but believe me , this isn't your regular south park tv show , and should not be seen by anyone under 14 or more . 
this film contains extreme profanity ( over 130 "" f "" words and a collection of others ) . 
but beyond being bad in a tasteless type way , south park : bigger , longer and uncut has many messages that are embedded inside it . 
but i bet you will not leave the movie , for at least laughing one time or more . 
and enjoying yourself . 
take it from me , south park : b , l , and u , isn't as good as you'd hope , but it is good for some laughs . 
"
"1","why do people hate the spice girls ? 
 ? what exactly have they done wrong , other than perhaps offend the fashion police ? 
 ? so what if they are not "" great "" singers---they ain't singing opera , folks , its pop music ! 
 ? who exactly is a "" great "" singer ? 
judging by that opening paragraph it is obvious that i like the spice girls . 
 ? they do what they do--sing some catchy tunes--and they do it pretty well . 
 ? they are able to carry that into their first film , "" spice world "" . 
 ? "" spice world "" certainly isn't a great filmgoing experience . 
 . 
 . 
what it is what the spice girls are all about : fun , songs , and a lot of "" girl power ! "" 
drawing from a number of different films ( like the beatles' "" hard day's night "" ) "" spice world "" chronicles the week heading up to the girls' first concert at london's albert hall . 
 ? they get to tool around london in a big ol' bus ( driven by meat loaf ! ) and generally have fun . 
 ? in order to through a semblence of plot into the film , there is an evil tabloid publisher played by barry humphries , better known to americans , for about 15 minutes , as dame edna ( remember her ? ) 
 ? he wants to sabotage the girls' concert so he can sell papers . 
of course , the point in a movie like "" spice world "" isn't plot . 
 ? the center of the film is the spice girls themselves : ginger ( the recently departed geri haliwell ) , posh ( victoria adams ) , sporty ( melanie chisolm ) , scary ( melanie brown ) , and baby ( emma bunton ) . 
 ? each one has their own personality and , perhaps the best part of the film , look like they are having some honest-to-goodness fun , something that can't be said for a lot of people in films today . 
along for the ride are richard e . grant as their manager , clifford , and various other characters making quick cameo appearances ( including teriffic british actors like richard briers and stephen fry ) . 
 ? and , every once and a while , roger moore pops up as the chief to spout odd koans ( added bonus : he gets to , in the words of craig kilborn , dance , dance , dance . ) 
watching this film was fun , for the most part . 
 ? there are a few slow segments , but overly , director bob spiers keeps things moving at a quick pace , with plenty of hummable spice girls songs in the background . 
 ? his camerawork is fairly pedestrian , though the final concert number is done quite well with effective use of editing . 
 ? 
the look of the film promotes the high fun , with the design of the spicebus being quite original and eye-catching . 
 ? add in wall-to-wall spice girls music and this film is lovable romp . 
 ? if you don't like the spice girls , you won't change your mind with this film . 
 ? but , if you find them at least tolerable , get ready to sit back and chill because the spice girls are here to entertain you . 
 . 
 . 
and do it quite well . 
 ? 
 "" spice world "" ( 1998 ) . 
 ? directed by bob spiers . 
 ? written by kim fuller . 
 ? music by the spice girls . 
 ? with geri halliwell , victoria adams , melanie chisolm , melanie brown , emma bunton , richard e . grant , claire rushbrook , roger moore . 
 ? distributed by columbia pictures . 
 ? running time : 92 minutes . 
 ? rated : pg . 
 ? available on home video . 
---- 29 june 1998 
"
"1","more than forty years ago , the "" sword and sandals "" genre of historical epic ruled the box office . 
during the 1950's hollywood sought to give audiences a reason to turn off their televisions and go out to the movies by offering the grand spectacle of the roman empire in cinemascope . 
 "" ben-hur . "" 
 "" cleopatra . "" 
 "" the robe . "" 
 "" sparticus . "" 
 "" the fall of the roman empire . "" 
 "" quo vadis . "" 
sometimes brilliant , sometimes campy , the roman epic was the technicolor funeral pyre of classic hollywood . 
since then , epics have appeared infrequently ( "" the last emperor , "" "" braveheart "" ) and some of the best have been small-screen affairs produced in the 1970's ( "" roots , "" "" shogun "" ) . 
yet , the phrase "" we who are about to die salute you "" has been absent until now . 
 "" gladiator "" begins in germania in a . d . 180 . 
roman general maximus ( russell crowe ) has conquered yet another group of barbarians for his emperor marcus aurelius ( richard harris ) , and he is eager to retire to his plantation in spain where his wife and son are waiting . 
however , the emperor is worried that his decadent weakling son commodus ( joaquin phoenix ) will prove a poor successor , so he wants to make maximus his heir as a transition toward rome becoming a republic again . 
when commodus hears the plan , he strangles his father and orders maximus and his family murdered . 
maximus escapes from the executioners , but he arrives home too late to save his wife and son . 
a caravan of slavers pick up the wounded hero and carry him off to north africa . 
 ( why the caravan happened to be cruising by maximus' place is never explained . ) 
an african named juba ( djimon hounsou ) treats maximus' wounds . 
proximo ( oliver reed ) , a gladiator who won his freedom , purchases maximus and juba as fodder for the arena . 
of course , maximus proves as able a gladiator as he was a soldier , and his fame spreads . 
when commodus reopens the coliseum , proximo brings his troupe of warriors to rome to compete . 
our hero wins the hearts and minds of the cheering crowds and finds that he has an ally in commodus' sister lucilla ( connie nielsen ) . 
the similarities to "" braveheart "" are obvious : an evil king , a determined warrior seeking revenge for his murdered family , the aid of a lovestruck princess . 
also , like mel gibson's epic , "" gladiator "" has a primarily visceral appeal and is driven forward by the hero's anger . 
it's a simple tale of good versus evil . 
maximus has all the manly virtues : nobility of purpose , courage in battle , loyalty to king and country , physical stamina , and devotion to family . 
commodus is his opposite in every way : a sniveling , selfish coward who is intended to disgust the audience . 
the opening night crowd in my theater was about 70% male , and that seems appropriate . 
 "" gladiator "" is a guy movie ( would the opposite of a "" chick flick "" be a "" dick flick "" ? ) . 
there's much pumping of testosterone and chopping off of body parts in gruesome battle sequences . 
 ( those easily offended by gore should stay away . ) 
lucilla is the only female character , and what sparks there are between her and maximus are dampened by his devotion to his dead wife . 
joaquin phoenix gives an astounding performance . 
in the scene where commodus kills his father , phoenix shows the pain of a son who has never had his father's love or pride . 
throughout the picture , phoenix manages to give depth to a character who's scripted as a caricature of evil . 
i've been a russell crowe fan since "" romper stomper . "" 
this role doesn't offer him the complexities of his parts in "" l . 
a . confidential "" and "" the insider "" -- essentially his job is to grunt heroically -- but his voice , which has a richard burton resonance textured by a clint eastwood rasp , is perfect for the genre . 
the late oliver reed gave us the best work of his career in his last role . 
i hope it will be rewarded with an oscar . 
my only major quibble with "" gladiator "" is its stylized look . 
several scenes are tinted . 
we've seen a lot of the tinted look lately , particularly in "" payback "" and "" the matrix . "" 
i don't get the appeal of the style , which makes feature films look like tv ads . 
in "" payback "" it was merely annoying , but in "" gladiator "" it bleaches the color out of the grand spectacles that are the raison d'etre of the roman epic . 
 ( perhaps it's meant to gloss over the imperfections of the computer-generated shots . ) 
also , the battle scenes are filmed in a strange herky jerky style that seems to be slo mo and fast forward simultaneously . 
 ( it reminds me of the way the flash runs in the comic books , leaving a half-blurred trail of images of himself behind . ) 
with a more realistic look , "" gladiator "" could be even more satisfying than "" braveheart "" because it has a tighter script and a more fulfilling conclusion . 
bottom line : a rousing action film enriched by fine performances but tarnished by stylistic choices . 
"
"1","the andromeda strain is the greatest science fiction film ever made . 
i know that is very sweeping statement , so i'll qualify it by adding that the andromeda strain is one of the few films made that genuinely deserve the label of "" science fiction , "" stories in which speculative science is at the core of the plot . 
2001 : a space odyssey is probably a better film , but it really only qualifies as science fiction if you consider metaphysics to be a science . 
most all other films we normally classify as science fiction , or sf , are really just fantasy , action or horror stories set in a futuristic setting . 
the andromeda strain starts out with two soldiers in a high-tech ( for 1970 ) van looking for a crashed satellite in a tiny new mexico town . 
something bad happens to them . 
pictures from a reconnaissance plane show a shocking sight . 
apparently everyone in the town is dead . 
the authorities call a "" wildfire alert , "" summoning four scientists , all but one of them somewhat reluctant , to a super-secret underground germ warfare laboratory in nevada . 
two of scientists , stone and hall , fly directly to the town in space suits and find a town where almost every single resident literally dropped in their tracks , their blood turned to powder in their veins . 
some went insane before they died and two of them , a baby and an old wino , are miraculously still alive . 
they take the survivors and the satellite back to the lab , where stone pressures the white house to call up a "" directive 712 , "" an executive order to cauterize the area around the town with a nuclear bomb . 
what they find on the satellite when they get back to the lab is andromeda , an organism that defies all the normal rules of earth-like life and mutates as it grows . 
their only hope to cure it is to find out what a perfectly healthy baby boy has in common with an old derelict . 
what they find out is that organism feeds directly on energy and that detonating the a-bomb over the town would only spread it across the entire planet . 
they barely call off the bombing in time . 
but then the organism mutates into something that threatens to eat through the labs defenses and break out . 
this triggers the lab's last-ditch defense mechanism , an atomic bomb . 
to those raised on the brainless action fare that pollutes movie theaters these days , the andromeda strain will probably seem interminably slow . 
much of the film is a lot of people standing around looking at video screens and computer readouts . 
but what the characters see on those screens ratchets up the tension with every turn of the screw . 
the performances are universally fine , with the actors keeping things low-key and restrained , just like scientists . 
to me , the real appeal of this film is the fact that it shows scientists acting like scientists and makes it seem exciting . 
we follow the logic of their deduction step by methodical step , puzzling like they do every time andromeda behaves in a way we don't expect . 
this film is only available on wide screen on dvd and that is the way to see it . 
it was originally rated g when first released but it now carries the pg rating , mostly for very mild nudity and one scene in which a body's wrist is slashed , spilling its powdered blood . 
"
"1"," "" it's not good to know too much about someone , charlie , "" charles warns his niece , charlie ( margaret welsh ) , with a devilish grin . 
charlie is infatuated with her namesake uncle , her "" soul mate "" as she calls him since her mother gave her his name . 
there's a lot to know about charles , not the least of which is that he strangled 3 widows back east . 
mark harmon , who looks like anything but a killer but specializes in playing them , plays charles , the merry widow murderer in the 1991 hallmark hall of fame remake of the 1943 hitchcock film , shadow of a doubt . 
and to avoid any questions about his guilt , we see charles in action in the opening scene with his last victim . 
the story takes place in the early 1950s in the small town of petaluma , california , where charles heads to avoid the police . 
john gay's script uses most of the original screenplay by sally benson , alma reville , and thornton wilder . 
karen arthur's direction is certainly no match for the great master , but on an absolute scale , the movie maintains a high level of suspense . 
when supercilious and deceitful charles comes to pay a visit of indeterminate length with his sister and her family in petaluma , they don't know about his nefarious activities . 
he showers them with elaborate gifts to buy the love they had already given him anyway . 
two mysterious and exceedingly clean-cut writers for a magazine show up to take pictures of the family for a spread on the "" average american family , "" but their interest is focused on uncle charles , especially on taking his picture and learning about his background . 
charlie , who first welcomed her uncle's visit , begins to feel more and more uncomfortable with him and suspicious of the disingenuous magazine reporters . 
the picture advances with a delicate power using small details such as the newspaper article that the uncle tries secretly to remove and that charlie discovers . 
the beauty of the story is the pas de deux between uncle and niece as they try to out psych each other . 
she wants him to leave , and he doesn't want to go , what with a local , rich widow as a prospective victim . 
will charles kill charlie first , or will she get him out of town . 
harmon is wonderfully creepy and smug , and welsh is tough but trapped . 
with a deft touch the director sets up each scene , several with thunderstorms , and tom neuwirth's sepia-toned cinematography makes the movie feel as if it were filmed in the 50s . 
my only quibble is the director's awkward staging of the final scene on the train . 
is hitchcock's version better ? 
of course . 
is this one worth watching as well ? 
actually , yes . 
shadow of a doubt runs 1 : 40 . 
it is not rated but would be pg for adult themes and would be fine for kids around nine and up . 
"
"1","do you want to know the truth about cats and dogs ? 
do you ? 
well , as this movie shows us , they make good companions but pale in comparison to the joy and fulfillment romantic relationships can bring . 
unfortunately , there's a giant roadblock set up in our culture that only certain people can get through while the rest of us mill around outside , feeling sorry for ourselves . 
a checkpoint beautiful kind of thing , and janeane garafolo's character abby relates to it well . 
like a certain oversized teenage movie critic , she is intelligent and has a great sense of humor but strikes out with the opposite sex because she sees herself as physically unattractive , and the men seem to be backing her up on that . 
meanwhile , her gorgeous neighbor nora ( uma thurman . . . 
uma being the only woman's name worse than nora ) attracts men like flies . 
as abby tells her , "" you burp and they think it's cute . 
you barf and they line up to hold your hair back . "" 
but nora's down on herself for being too shallow and superficial . 
we all have our prwhen a man calls in to veterinarian abby's talk radio show wanting to know how to get the roller skates off his basset hound . 
 ( oh come on , any idiot knows how to handle that problem ! ) 
he likes her personality and professional demeanor and asks to meet her in person . 
abby , though , knows her body doesn't match her personality and that she probably won't have a chance with him once he sees her . 
so she gives him nora's body description and stands him up . 
nora happens to be in the studio the next day when the dog man comes by and abby asks her for a big favor . 
she goes along with the masquerade and the three of them head out for a night of fun , abby assuming the role of a goat cheese farmer named donna . 
the dog man finds out even though this girl is beautiful , she's not quite as intellectual or confident about herself in person , but he doesn't suspect anything , realizing he's not living in a "" three's company "" episode . 
the charade continues , with abby furthering the relationship over the phone ( including a decidedly unnecessary phone sex/masturbation sequence ) and nora furthering it in person , while eventually finding herself attracted to the dog man . 
like sleepless in seattle , this comedy/romance is predictable all the way through , but we care enough about the characters that we root them on and will the romance to blossom . 
the truth about cats and dogs isn't quite as entertaining as i was expecting it to be , but it handles well a theme i could identify with . 
the thing is , i find janeane garafolo rather attractive . 
she's no uma but i'm sure in real life she'd have no problems attracting men . 
i , on the other hand , couldn't attract a man to save my life . . . 
and am rather proud of that fact . 
"
"1","alien 3 is the only alien film i have seen in theaters . 
i saw it when i was 13 years old , and i must admit that i didn't like it . 
of course , i was expecting aliens again , and i believe this was my fault . 
in order to appreciate alien 3 , you need to see aliens , but you also have to wipe away all the expectations from its predecessor . 
james cameron's aliens was an action film , and many people consider it the best in the series . 
i am among that group , but alien 3 is an extremely entertaining film , which critics have bashed for its originality . 
many thought the final chase scene went on for too long , and many others thought that the film was too much dialogue and not enough action . 
both are untrue , because the film has quite a bit of action , and the dialogue was essential and well-written . 
as for the chase sequence , it was long , but not overly long , creating quite a bit of suspense from confusion . 
perhaps watching alien 3 on video helped . 
on the big screen , i was overwhelmed by something i normally didn't see . 
it was a very dark film , and the language was extremely harsh . 
i had always figured the alien series to rely on smart dialogue instead of moronic profanities . 
don't get me wrong--i'm not saying films should eliminate swearing , but when a film substitutes dialogue with these profane remarks , it gets rather distracting . 
however , since seeing it again , i realize that the swearing is mainly just an aspect of the restrained hatred in the characters . 
as a result , alien 3's only flaw ( albeit a major one ) is the underdeveloped characters . 
we never really care about any of them , and i get the feeling that many scenes were cut in order to shorten the length of the movie . 
there were only two characters i liked , and of course one was lt . ripley ( sigourney weaver ) , although we have gotten to know her through two other films . 
the other character was dr . clemens ( charles dance ) , but because we like him , the inevitable occurs . 
alien 3 begins exactly where aliens left off . 
the prologue of alien 3 is a pure cinematic achievement by director david fincher , who had only directed music videos before his chance with this alien entry . 
without using a single line of dialogue ( unless you count computer warnings ) , fincher sets up the entire film . 
an impressive aspect of this is that fincher only shows a few seconds of film before cutting to a title card . 
we see lt . ripley and the little girl in their cryogenic compartments . . . 
 ( title ) . . . 
a shot of an alien egg . . . 
 ( title ) . . . 
alien legs stretch up into the air . . . 
 ( title ) . . . 
and so on and so on . 
during these first ten minutes , i learned everything i had to in order for alien 3 to proceed . 
it's quite a remarkable opening , and one which will remain in my mind for a long time . 
because of this face-hugger which has been hatched aboard the vessel from aliens , the hypersleep containers are sent into an escape pod , and sent down to the nearest planet : fiorina fury-161 , an ore refinery which has been turned into a maximum security prison . 
however , the face-hugger managed to attach itself to one of the cryo-tubes , and is sent down with the escape pod . 
unfortunately , during the landing , all but one of the survivors from aliens is killed . 
ripley is discovered by some of the inmates and taken back to the refinery . 
of course , you need a carrier for this face-hugger , and it attachs itself to the dog which came with the team of inmates . 
ripley is revived and asks to see the ship . 
after seeing a mysterious acid-eaten section , ripley asks to see the dead bodies , and then have them cremated . 
this cremation scene is one of the most powerful and impressive of all the alien films . 
featuring a monologue from dillon ( charles s . dutton ) , a prisoner who has found god , the movie cuts back and forth from the ceremony to the dog's demise . 
it's one of the most memorable moments , as the speech reflects exactly what is going on with the dog . 
and this is where alien 3 succeeds . 
fincher normally injects a lot of symbolism into his films , and i can easily see him becoming the next stanley kubrick or alfred hitchcock ( in fact , he is the mixture of both ) . 
fincher knows exactly what to film and how to film it , and i figure that he will be one of the few directors with complete control over his films . 
alien 3 is riddled with symbolic speeches and metaphorical images . 
by doing so , fincher creates some of the best scenes in the entire alien franchise . 
many people have criticized fincher's filming of the death scene of ripley ( i reveal nothing by saying this ) as looking too fake , but i enjoy and relish in the portrayal . 
showing ripley fall in slow motion is a nice touch , but by actually not showing her hit the vat of iron , a great deal of symbolism is derived . 
i feel that it would have spoiled the mood of the entire film if they had actually shown her splash into the molten iron . 
however , most people seem to want to witness ripley die ( which creates a paradox , as she is the character i didn't want to see die ) . 
why she is killed is one of the surprises of the film , and i don't plan on spoiling that in this review . 
>from every alien film comes several memorable moments which seem to stick with you forever . 
in alien , it was , of course , the moment the alien burst out of kane's stomach . 
in aliens , it was the showdown between alien and ripley in a machine . 
alien 3 has several , but most memorable is the terrific shot involving the alien and ripley . 
ripley is pushed up against a wall , and the alien stands inches away from her . 
why it doesn't kill her is a shocker , which later leads to a surprise ending . 
fincher apparently loves to use close-ups of actors' faces ( michael douglas and the clown face-off in the game in the same style ) , and by shaving off the actors' hair , the only thing we have to look at is their faces . 
many critics didn't like all the actors being bald , but it makes complete sense when taken in context of the plot . 
most of alien 3 works when you take it in context of the story , but when you try to compare it to its predecessors , fincher's turn seems a bit gloomy and dark , though that's not always a bad thing . 
the plot is pretty much a rehash of the first two films , with some major twists . 
again , we are setup with several different characters , and one by one , they are picked off . 
however , while the first two had tons of arsenal ( especially cameron's film ) , alien 3 takes place on a planet devoid of human life except for this run-down prison . 
as a result , no weapons are to be found . 
this creates a lot of tension , although i must admit that fincher could have added a lot more suspense . 
as an alien film , alien 3 is the worst of the series , but by itself , it is an extremely well-made motion picture , with a lot more merits than not . 
the unfortunate thing surrounding this second sequel is the one-dimensional characters . 
i never was really emotionally involved on screen because most of the characters are hardcore criminals whom i really could care less about . 
despite this , ripley was the central figure , and that's what is important . 
we care for her , even though she began to act just like one of the guys . 
again , the technical side of this film is remarkable , and better than the two previous versions . 
while cameron's version was a pumped up action film with massive artillary , fincher uses brilliant camera angles , terrific lighting , and moody sets . 
the cinematography , by alex thomson , is very well done , with a terrific chase sequence towards the end of the movie . 
the confusion of the ending draws the viewer in , as we are just as confused as the actors who are being chased around . 
the yellows , reds , and oranges of the lights create a dark mood , and by themselves create a lot of suspense . 
shadows dance on the walls , and yet those shadows could easily be the alien . 
the alien is different from its predecessors this time around , and the swiftness of this alien is quite intense . 
the camera likes to take up the perspective of the alien , racing after the characters . 
the sets are quite incredible , which are reminiscient of the nostromo from alien . 
the narrow corridors and labrynthine hallways is well constructed . 
the sets appear to be in the future , but not too far in the future . 
one of the set pieces even aids in the destruction of the alien ( nothing surprising there ) . 
sigourney weaver turns out yet another good performance , equaling her portrayal of ripley in aliens . 
she was snubbed at the oscars for this one , mainly because the film was a critical bomb . 
her reactions are far more realistic in this film , with her crying over the loss of the little child she risked her life saving in her previous encounter . 
it's quite touching really . 
charles s . dutton is very strong in his performance as one of the inmates , and i was on the brink of actually caring for him . 
charles dance turns in a nice low-key performance , and as a result , i cared for him immediately . 
lance henriksen makes a brief appearance as bishop ii , but he was more entertaining in aliens . 
the rest of the cast is pretty stale , though pete postlethwaite sticks out due to his recent turns in the usual suspects and the lost world . 
alien 3 is rated r for strong violence and language , and sex . 
although it has its flaws , alien 3 is highly entertaining with rich symbolism . 
this film reminds you how much fun it is to spot metaphorical images throughout a movie . 
while kubrick may have a moral message throughout his films , fincher relies on cinematic devices to bring his meanings out . 
it's a film like fincher's which reminds us that it is okay for a film to sacrifice quality for quantity ( the final scene ) . 
in fact , it tells us that we , as a society , have become too critical of things which may happen to look a little "" fake . "" 
whenever something looks fake on screen , we immediately point it out as a mistake . 
but perhaps it isn't a mistake . 
"
"1","ultra low budget but extremely inventive horror film about a group of friends vacationing in a cabin who accidentally awaken an evil force in the woods via the necronomicon , the book of the dead . 
bruce campbell stars as ash , who eventually becomes the sole survivor and has to battle both the demons from the woods , and his friends who have become demons ( including his own girlfriend ) . 
the results shown on screen are amazing considering the film's tiny budget , constant location changes , and a filming schedule that was sporadic over two years . 
followed by two sequels : evil dead ii ( 1987 ) and army of darkness ( 1993 ) . 
the dvd release of this film from elite entertainment contains the film in it's original aspect ratio of 1 . 33 : 1 . 
the disc contains two versions of the film's audio : a stereo 2 . 0 track and a newly remastered dolby digital 5 . 1 . 
included are two separate running commentary tracks : the first features writer/director sam raimi and producer rob tapert and the second track features the film's star , bruce campbell . 
campbell's commentary is informative and extremely witty , as he has a story to tell for virtually every scene in the film . 
such informative tidbits include : the original title of the film was going to be book of the dead ( and in fact when the film premiered in 1981 that was it's title ) and when they were asked to change the title to the evil dead , everyone thought it was the worst title they had ever heard . 
also , there's a scene early on in the film where the group sits around and listens to a tape recorder which they've found that's explaining about the demonic forces in the woods . 
for that scene , it was written for the characters to be smoking marijuana , so being the wacky kids that they were at the time , they decided to actually smoke marijuana for the scene . 
almost all of that footage became unusable because many of the actor's had never smoked before , and as a result they became "" confused "" and were unable to perform the scene . 
i wish the entertainment factor was as high for the sam raimi/rob tapert audio track . 
the two people you'd think would be more enthusiastic in talking about this film instead barely have much to say at all . 
don't get me wrong here , when they do speak it's entertaining to hear , but there are many instances where both are silent for long periods of time . 
sometimes after one of those long silences rob will ask "" have anything to say sam ? "" 
to me , that's not a good sign . 
also , it seems like sam raimi doesn't remember much about the film and it's production . . . 
well , compared to rob and bruce anyway . 
also included on the disc is a photo gallery ( which includes pictures from the film's "" gala "" premiere ) and about twenty minutes of raw footage from the film . 
this raw footage really shows you how much a film can be improved upon using simple audio techniques . 
overall , the evil dead is a good low budget horror film , superior to many films in it's genre . 
and the collector's edition dvd release is well worth your time if you're either a fan of the film or just a fan of the filmmaking process . 
all special edition dvds should be this thorough and entertaining . 
"
"1","elmore leonard has quickly become one of hollywood's favorite authors . 
out of four film adaptations in as many years , the witty and inventive out of sight gives get shorty a run for its money as the best leonard adaptation around . 
george clooney stars as jack foley , a nice bank robber . . . you 
know the type , he uses his charm and his wits rather than a gun . 
but even charming guys end up unlucky , and jack ends up in jail . 
but not for long . 
he plots an escape with the help of his best friend , and fellow robber , buddy bragg ( ving rhames ) , and their slow-witted pothead associate , glenn michaels ( steve zahn ) . 
but jack didn't count on u . s . marshal karen sisco ( jennifer lopez ) . 
appearing at the right place at the wrong time , karen gets involved in foley's escape attempt and the subsequent manhunt to bring him in . 
however , karen develops a rapport with jack foley , and finds that she begrudgingly likes the guy . 
but , can love prosper on opposite sides of the law ? 
or can karen straighten out jack before he goes too far in pursuit of just one last crime . 
clooney , who has had a string of solid , but never stellar , film roles , delivers his best performance to date . 
he blends into his role here perfectly as the risk taking jack foley , who's willing to gamble everything on the chance that karen sisco might be his true love . 
jennifer lopez does an excellent job as well . 
she actually has a trickier role than clooney , as a woman who has to balance her emotions with her sense of duty . 
she and clooney develop good chemistry together . 
the film boasts a superb ensemble . 
steve zahn gives a hilarious performance , and steals nearly every scene he's in . 
don cheadle is appropriately sinister as a violent ex-con who may or may not be teaming up with foley . 
albert brooks is enjoyable as a white collar criminal who talks too much for his own good . 
out of the cast , only dennis farina seems underused as karen's ex-lawman father . 
steven soderbergh gives the film sharp and stylistic direction . 
with an affectation for freeze frames , he delivers a unique take on the film's action and love scenes that places out of sight a notch above routine crime films . 
a recurring series of flashbacks makes the film seem more complex than it actually is . 
devoid of its bells and whistles , out of sight is actually a fairly straightforward crime story . 
however , there are only a few spots in the film that seem bare , and they pass quickly . 
with smart dialogue , good characters , and an excellent cast , out of sight easily smoothes over the rough spots in the plot and delivers on both the action and romantic fronts . 
"
"1","bob the happy bastard's quickie review : 
the matrix 
what's worse than y2k ? 
how about a fully digital future where nothing is real ? 
that's what computer programmer neo ( keanu reeves ) slowly learns as he enters the dangerous world that is the matrix , a movie directed by the wachowski brothers ( the guys behind the hip thriller bound ) . 
before you groan at the presence of reeves in the lead role , hold on . 
there's actually a story with depth here . 
it seems that a group of hackers is out to stop the system that is the matrix , led by the bald but brilliant laurence fishburne and assisted by carrie ann moss , who looks quite cool in leather , i must say . 
neo ( reeves ) is pretty much a key player in this fight , although he really doesn't look it at first . 
could this amateur be "" the one "" as fisburne thinks he is ? 
credit the wachowskis for putting together a great story that allows suspense to build , something that few special effects-laden films seem to do these days . 
there's plenty of effects to go around , of course , but at least there's a backbone to build them on as well . 
reeves is surprisingly good in his role as neo , particularly in a fight scene with fishburne that comes across as goofy , yet great . 
i wish the villains weren't quite so "" generic "" ( leftover g-men from looking for a sweet sci-fi actioner with plenty of stop-motion swooping camera angles and , of course , a motherlode of a helicopter explosion . 
now the wachowskis are headed into horror films with their next project . 
bring it on . 
"
"1","martin scorsese's kundun , which chronicles roughly the first twenty years of the life of the currently exiled dalai lama , has been criticized for its lack of narrative structure . 
personally , i don't think it needs one : it works perfectly well as a study of tibetan buddhist culture and how communist china . 
scorsese views the dalai lama the way many tibetans probably do , as a larger-than-life symbol of buddhist spirituality and political leadership : the only glimpses into his head come from several interesting yet oblique dream sequences , but his portrayal is appropriate for a film that concentrates on the political and spiritual rather than the personal . 
the set design and cinematography are outstanding , and while scorsese occasionally seems to get carried away with the spectacle , it helps to augment the cultural contrast when the dalai lama travels to china to meet chairman mao . 
political art sometimes succumbs to the temptation to start shouting slogans , kundun does not : it succeeds in delivering its message in an artistically interesting way and without being overly manipulative . 
"
"1","synopsis : upper middle class , suburban family man lester ( kevin spacey ) realizes that he is just going through the motions : he is unable to feel passion ; he is soulless , cynical , and no longer able to feel the edge between success and failure . 
everyone else around him has similar symptoms . 
lester's unassertive daughter jane ( thora birch ) is too lethargic to change her world , yet all too ready to whine and complain . 
his wife carolyn ( annette bening ) is reduced to keeping up appearances and reciting commercialist slogans . 
and these are people with a big house and a decent standard of living . 
the only person who seems able to appreciate beauty and freedom and life is the person most deprived of it : a dope-dealing teen from across the street who is practically imprisoned by a domineering , bullying father . 
when lester embarks on a mad scramble to feel the edge again , the fact that he has quit his job to feel what it's like - - and his newfound interest in exercise to impress a teenage girl - - ruffle a lot of feathers in the family . 
will lester regain his ability to appreciate life ? 
opinion : people say it all the time : you never appreciate good health until it's gone . 
likewise , people raised in fabulously pampered prosperity can become unhappy and spiteful over the dumbest , most inconsequential problems , simply because they have no clue how good they have it . 
sometimes it takes a near fall - - accidentally or through deliberate fasting - - to move out of apathy and reclaim your ability to challenge the world . 
the deprivation/appreciation cycle is a major theme of american beauty . 
american beauty is a non-formula , intelligent and articulate movie that offers fantastic performances by everyone in the cast , especially kevin spacey , who is simply gosh darn amazing this movie . 
the thing i like about american beauty is that there is no sentimental music , no hospital scene nor any overly dramatic hokum . 
the movie entertains and offers brilliant performances just as is . 
if you are in the mood for a thoughtful , non-formula flick , i highly recommend american beauty . 
"
"1","though it is a fine piece of filmmaking , there's something about elizabeth . . . that 
left me a bit cold , and i think it is something that bugs me quite often in films , particularly these days ; i just didn't care about the characters . 
to me , the first and foremost job of a filmmaker is to create characters ( be they imagined or historical as the case may be ) that the audience gives a hoot about . 
and though elizabeth works well on many levels , it falls short of excellence because of that very reason . 
elizabeth takes place in england in 1554 , as queen mary , half sister of elizabeth and a monarch on the side of catholicism is dying . 
before she dies , though , she cannot bear to sign a document which would condemn her half sister to death because of her heretical protestant beliefs . 
as a result , amidst much anger within the council , elizabeth becomes the queen of england . 
the film chronicles her rise to power as she fights for a unified church of england and tries to bring order to her personal and political life . 
much of the film deals with elizabeth's love for lord robert , a mysterious man who thrusts his lordship onto many a woman as he continues to proclaim his love for the queen . 
there is much ado about her lack of a husband , and political pressures from spain and france enter into the equation . 
the problem with the film lies with this as its centerpiece , as love interests are such a character driven element . 
i didn't much care about the characters ( perhaps aside for elizabeth who is played quite well by blanchett ) and so i didn't have much interest in who would join her in her nuptials . 
the cast is rounded out well with the marvelous rush who plays the queen's most loyal advisor , sir francis , and attenborough as a well-meaning but old-fashioned lead council . 
why then , you must be asking , do i recommend elizabeth ? 
simply because it is the result of a perfect pairing of director and cinematographer . 
kapur and his cinematographer remi adefarasin ( neither of whom i have heard ) create a beautifully realized piece of filmmkaing from the technical side . 
the light streams through each frame as in any painting from the period and beautifully captures the realistic light sources that would have been found in churches , cellars and castles in 16th century europe . 
each frame is rich with color contrasted with blackness or blown-out white light from windows . 
the costumes by alexandra byrne deserve a mention as they are such an inportant aspect of each shot . 
indeed , elizabeth is one of the most visually beautiful films of the decade , ranking with kundun and braveheart . 
watch also for the incredibly "" godfather-esque "" mass murder scene . 
it made me think in retrospect of the similarities between the two films . 
"
"1","carolco pictures and dutch director paul verhoeven ( robocop ) came together to create the 1990 mega hit that is total recall . 
the film is a masterpiece of sets , action , and special effects . 
action and science fiction just don't get any better than this ! 
the story involves a construction worker named douglas quaid ( arnold schwarzenegger ) who lives on earth with his beautiful wife lori ( sharon stone ) . 
quaid is obsessed with mars and decides to go with the second best choice ; a brain implant ( fake memory ) of a two week vacation on mars . 
while being implanted a memory cap is triggered and the doctors realize that quaid's memory has previously been erased . 
now the people who did it are after him . 
quaid must find out who he really is and why these people want him dead . 
the plot unfolds at a rapid pace explaining itself through great action , special effects , and twist after mind-boggling twist . 
it grabs you and never lets go ! 
this film is a winner from beginning to end . 
the plot is superb ; combining the best elements of science fiction and psychological mystery to create a rip-roaring saga . 
schwarzenegger gives his best performance ever , and the supporting cast is good too . 
the action and stunts are terrific . 
the sets are huge and elaborate with a lot of attention payed to detail . 
the music and sound effects are perfect for the film and really add a certain level of impact to the action . 
the make-up effects by rob bottin ( the howling , the thing , and robocop ) are top notch , not to mention extremely outlandish . 
the visual effects by dream quest ( the abyss ) and industrial light and magic ( star wars trilogy , jurassic park , and terminator 2 ) are phenomenal ! 
the visuals had such a state of the art "" slickness "" that they won an oscar . 
of course the film isn't always realistic ; it's more fiction than science . 
for example , it is true that a body won't explode in the vacuum of space but in total recall they do . 
who cares ? 
it's a movie . 
movies are supposed to entertain . 
and in my opinion this film achieves an entertainment level in film that is so terrific , it may be impossible to beat . 
"
"1","with the abundance of trite , recycled movies in the late '90s , there is a tremendous demand by movie lovers ( never mind movie critics ) for movies that present the wide film audience with something truly original : perhaps audaciously , perhaps purely thematically . 
for the former , you need look no further than director tom tykwer's incredible german thriller run lola run , a movie that may make some viewers need a cooling off period afterwards . 
lola , a contemporary goth-girl with blazing red hair receives a desperate phone call from her boyfriend manni one day . 
it seems that because she was late delivering something he lost a bag containing a hundred thousand marks , and if he doesn't deliver a hundred thousand marks within the next twenty minutes , he will be killed . 
this gives lola twenty minutes to come up with 100 , 000 marks , or her boyfriend dies . 
so she runs -- not just jogs , sprints -- in hopes that somehow , someway , she'll be able to obtain the money and save a life . 
>from there , as critic steve rhodes described it , run lola run plays a bit like "" sliding doors on steroids . 
with a non-stop techno soundtrack , wierd camerawork , all kinds of insane zooms and a truly breakneck pace , anyone that is bored with run lola run has to be smoking something . 
indeed , the movie is often outrageously exciting , as well as bitterly ironic and subtly serious . 
very much like titanic , run lola run is an achievement with filmmaking much more than it is an achievement in film . 
the way the movie is made , for pure visual style , tykwer's movie is breathtaking ( literally , sometimes ) . 
thematically it does leave something to be desired ; it toys around with some intriguing ideas but does occasionally seem as if there is little substance behind all of the flash . 
while you are watching , this will not matter . 
running a breezy 81 minutes , this is one movie i wished was longer because it was so damn good while it lasted . 
it is the equivalent of a roller-coaster in the amount of thrills and fun that it offers . 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov&#137 ; 
"
"1","i was anxious to see this for a long time . 
a friend of mine recommended this to me because he has a crush on neve campbell , and he wanted to prove that she's as hot as he thinks he is . 
he proved it for me all right , but the reasons i enjoy this film go way beyond that . 
scream treads on familar ground , horror movie with , as star neve campbell puts it , "" some stupid killer stalking some big breasted girl who can't act who's always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door . "" 
it's very familar , your typical horror film . 
so why , you may ask after watching it , does it seem so new and original ? 
because it treats itself as if it hasn't been done before , and thus the viewer is disilusioned into believing that it is not old , familar tired stuff . 
this raises another question : how does it do this ? 
simple : the characters . 
they're not your typical stupid horror film victims who don't know what the hell to do when being chased by a guy in a ski mask and a machette . 
they are horror fans , they know how stuff happens in a horror movie , they know what to do and what not to do , and that makes it scary , and even funny at certain times . 
you can tell this just by watching the opening scene where casey becker ( drew barrymore ) is making popcorn , getting ready to watch a video , and some guy who sounds like a killer calls her up to play a game with her that involves horror movie triva that , if she gets it wrong , will get her and her boyfriend killed . 
she knows what to answer when he asks her horror film questions , she just can't answer his final question , "" what door am i at ? "" 
and that gets her killed . 
that scene works because in a normal horror film , half the things that happen in that scene would never happen . 
the plot is typical horror stuff : sidney prescott ( an impressive neve campbell ) , an attractive young high school student who's mother was killed a year ago tommorrow , is being stalked by a killer who's previously murdered one of her classmates ( casey , naturally ) , and everybody in this small , california town is a suspect , including sidney's boyfriend , billy loomis . 
but as i said before , these people know how horror movies work , and that's what makes it so appealing . 
that and the references to horror movies , like when casey says , "" the first ( nightmare on elm street ) was scary , but the rest sucked . "" 
which is obviously director wes craven ( who does a good job of poking fun of the genre that made him a legend ) patting himself on the back as he directed the first nightmare movie and none of the others , and when tatum , sidney's friend , mentions the director , wes carpenter , which is obviously an homage by writer kevin williamson to not only craven , but also director john carpenter . 
the cast is well chosen , neve campbell pulls off a good heroine ( and unlike most horror film heroines , she * can * act ) , drew barrymore does a good janet leigh impression for what little time she has in the film , and david arquette is impressive . 
also good ( and funny ) in his role is henry winkler ( "" the fonz "" ) as the school principal . 
i took half a point off for the unnecessary ( albeit limited ) appearance by friends' courteney cox as reporter , gail edwards , sidney's rival because she covered her mother's disappearance . 
i hate that show , i hate those actors . 
they're untalented , overexposed , and overpaid , imho , and i would think wes craven is smart enough to know those actors are overexposed enough , but i suppose he isn't . 
"
"1","to paraphrase a song title from an earlier disney movie , mulan is a whole new world . 
the mouse factory's latest feature is a treasure , featuring magnificent animation , a strong story and finely drawn characters . 
mulan is the story of a fiesty , head-strong young woman who , unlike other disney heroines , isn't seeking her prince charming , 
mulan's motivations are simple ; to save her father , serve her country and find a place for herself in a world in which females have no say . 
the story of mulan takes place in ancient china at a time when the huns have invaded the nation . 
the emperor has called for a conscription , one man from each family to join the army and defend the nation . 
mulan's crippled father is called , but mulan sneaks off , steals his armor and takes his place . 
mulan is a saga of courage and self-discovery . 
yet , despite the grim backdrop of war , it is a lively tale of self-reliance and brain-over-brawn that even the smallest child can appreciate and enjoy . 
the movie utilizes a strong corps of asian-american talent as the voices for the main characters , including the wonderful ming-na wen ( the joy luck club ) as mulan , b . d . 
wong as shang , mulan's commanding officer and later love interest , pat morita as the emperor and the veteran soon-tek oh as mulan's proud , but loving father . 
also adding to the proceedings is eddie murphy as mushu the dragon , sent by mulan's ancestors to watch over and help the young woman . 
his fast , wise-cracking , hip-talking mushu may seem out of place , but it's a crowd pleasing performance , especially for the youngsters . 
the movie features only a couple of songs , fewer than most previous disney animated flicks , but mulan's are winners . 
the music by matthew wilder and lyrics by david zippel fit nicely into the plot . 
the overall score by jerry goldsmith also is a plus . 
mulan is a treat , more powerful than hercules , with more heart than the hunchback of notre dame . 
at about 85 minutes , mulan moves rapidly , and will hold the attention of youngsters from beginning to the end . 
mulan will set a new standard by which future animated efforts by disney and other studios will have to work hard to attain . 
also , it is hoped that the success of mulan , and there is no doubt that it will prove to be a popular vehicle , will spur an interest for more movies with oriential or asian-american themes so as to provide more substantial roles for the talented performers who gave their voices for this production . 
it would be nice to see them on screen as well as hear them . 
committed to lifelong learning through effective communication 
"
"1","as a revolutionary war hero in the patriot , mel gibson provides another macho man performance for hollywood audiences . 
you know the type : his shirt is always shredded , his face always scarred , he has a soft spot for his loved ones and a "" to kill "" list for his enemies . 
oscar-hungry director/executive producer roland emmerich did not intend to , but he made the stereotypical action hero for the 18th century . 
as gibson delivers lines like , "" before this war is over , i am going to kill you , "" schwarzenegger in commando or stallone in cobra immediately come to mind . 
oddly enough , the patriot is as much an epic three-hour-tear-fest like gladiator , as it is a ninety-minute guilty pleasure . 
at times absorbing , at others enjoyably insipid , this is good , bloody summer fun . 
i probably would have despised this film had it not been released over the july 4th weekend . 
some of the images are so zealously americanized ( the flag is used as a lifesaving weapon for example ) , that independence day seems the only appropriate time of year to wholeheartedly accept it . 
like emmerich's id4 , this is obvious propaganda where the americans are the hapless underdogs motivated by freedom for all . 
sure it's predictable and melodramatic , but for a moment after leaving the theater , i was dumbfounded with patriotism . 
and isn't that the point of the patriot ? 
gibson plays benjamin martin , the lionized french and indian war veteran , who , at the beginning of the film , is emotionally suffering after his loving wife passed away . 
he is left to father seven children at his south carolina estate along with black servants ( not slaves ! ) . 
as the revolutionary war rumbles miles away , martin swears to keep his family close and away from the battlefields . 
but when the oldest son enlists anyway and another is murdered by a wicked redcoat colonel ( jason isaacs ) , martin quickly decides to save the day ( or save the fate of america as presented by emmerich ) . 
forming a band of aggressive farmers and using guerilla tactics considered unfair in the art of war , martin becomes the number one target of the british army . 
the best parts of the patriot are the scenes in which martin and his rugged militia men outsmart the british armies left and right . 
every time the farmers attacked the unsuspecting enemy , to see the disbelief on british general cornwallis' ( tom wilkinson ) face was priceless entertainment . 
and as the tension gradually formulates with the running time , a final battle is inevitable . 
as for the numerous battle scenes , they are expertly done . 
clearer and more realistic than those of gladiator , the gruesome images are what give this film an r rating . 
you really get a sense of how warfare was performed during that time period . 
everything is performed in an orderly ( but still quite gory ) fashion - one side shoots , then the other side , then the remaining soldiers charge . 
it's organized , strategic and , according to martin , ineffective . 
there is a very interesting contrast between the traditional battle style and martin's take-no-prisoners method . 
what drives martin to these supposedly unfair actions , are the originally brutal tactics of colonel tavington . 
played wonderfully by jason isaacs , tavington is the type who loves to glare down from his horse at civilians , who nervously avoid eye contact . 
this character is viciously evil ; he kills women and children and then laughs about it on the way home ; even his eyes are evil . 
his portrayal has sparked some controversy in britain , some claim that he falsely represents his countrymen as "" cowardly "" and "" sadistic . "" 
i disagree with this accusation . 
tavington does not represent his country ; his unnecessary executions shock his own colleagues and even anger his general . 
besides tavington , the redcoats remain stick figures that are neither glorified nor patronized . 
and stick figures make the easiest enemies in these kinds of movies - why give the audience a reason to love the bad guys ? 
heck , why not spend the entire film glossing up the good guys ? 
the patriot is three hours of fictional fireworks . 
with an action hero seeking revenge and a comic book villain ready to take him down , it's a lethal weapon for the colonial times . 
god bless america ! 
and god bless the patriot ! 
"
"1"," "" if there's a beast in men , it meets its match in women , too . "" 
starring sarah patterson , angela lansbury , tusse silberg , david warner directed by neil jordan written by jordan and angela carter , from a story by carter cinematography by bryan loftus 
in recent years , there has been a trend in the field of fantasy : writers have been revisiting the fertile world of myth and fairy tale and reclaiming that world , investing it with new life and energy . 
in modern times , fairy tales have become disneyfied and debased ; they have become trite adventures involving leering witches , friendly dwarves , and cuddly talking animals . 
but in their original forms , fairy tales have a dark , wicked edge . 
crows tear out the eyes of cinderella's sisters , a gorier fate then they receive in the animated version . 
hansel and gretel relish cooking the witch in her own oven . 
writers have become fascinated by the bloodier , morally ambivalent aspects of fairy tales , and are now modernizing the old stories while simultaneously going back to their roots . 
before this trend was in vogue , angela carter--whose stories always have a dark , wicked , subversive edge--had been reinventing fairy tales for years . 
in the company of wolves , she and neil jordan retell the story of red riding hood , enlivening it with werewolves , rolls royces , and a visit from satan . 
the story is structured as a dream , occurring in the mind of rosaleen ( sarah patterson ) , an adolescent girl about whose 'real' life we learn very little . 
within the dream , there are a number of inset stories , most told by dream-rosaleen's grandmother ( angela lansbury ) , and these tales gloss the central story in intriguing , suggestive ways . 
the result is a surprisingly successful example of a sinister , contemporary fairy tale . 
i say "" surprisingly "" because there are so many ways this film could have gone wrong . 
and there are ways in which it does . 
the performances are mediocre , except for lansbury's--she finds the right note for the prim , apple-cheeked granny , the wise and stern teller of cautionary tales . 
the soundtrack , synth-heavy , reminded me of bad 80s horror movies , as did the special effects in the shapechanging scenes . 
probably state-of-the-art at the time , they are now laughable . 
but jordan succeeds at what i consider the trickiest aspect of the film : he transcends the poor acting/music/effects and conveys a sense of the fantastic , of otherness . 
one of the problems in adapting full-blown fantasies is that fantasy is often best left to the imagination of the reader , rather than being subjected to the 'realism' of the screen . 
part of me would love to see an adaptation of 'the lord of the rings , ' but , on the other hand , i know that any filmmaker's recreation of ents , hobbits , and balrogs is inevitably going to be really lame compared to what i picture in my mind . 
this makes jordan's accomplishment here seem mighty impressive to me : he imbues the company of wolves with a genuine sense of magic and mystery . 
the somewhat ruritanian dreamworld becomes a kind of ur-reality . 
the sunshine is exceptionally warm and abundant . 
the nights are quiet and misty and eerie and ghostly . 
the peasant village is rustic and cozy , the woods old and hoary . 
this archetypal realm is the setting for a smart , subtle , literate script , a script which is as good as you'd expect from jordan ( himself an accomplished fiction writer ) and carter . 
for carter , the cauldron of story is a witches' brew , bubbling over with primal ingredients : mist-shrouded forests , ancient graveyards , virginal girls and wise women , wolves with glowing eyes . 
she adeptly blends them all together . 
there is a symbolic richness to the film ; everything is permeated with a sense of significance . 
the point of it all , i think , is to represent a girl's rites-of-passage on an unconscious , primordial level . 
a night-journey through the forest , from the village to the grandmother's home , is the crux of the company of wolves . 
 "" don't stray from the path , "" rosaleen is told , again and again , and the path is both literal and figurative : the path through the forest and the path of life . 
staying on the path is the conventional approach suggested by rosaleen's elders . 
carter and jordan , never conventional , explore what goes on when you leave the path . 
those who stray will supposedly meet with a dark fate . 
this fate is literalized in the dream as werewolves , but the werewolves connote many things : death , sex , knowledge . 
if straying from the path leads to death , then it's not a good idea--but if that's what you have to risk to get sex and knowledge ( and therefore power ) , then maybe it's worth the risk . 
when you leave the path , the world becomes a dangerous , ambiguous place , but it's full of potential . 
and it's certainly more interesting than the disney version . 
"
"1","contrary to the title , "" the boxer "" is not another rocky story only this time spliced with some cold hard politics . 
it's actually three movies in one : a political film , a boxing film , and a love story . 
all of these work in their own respects and have some pretty decent balancing betwixt the three elements of the story , but somehow it seems kind of cliched and unoriginal . 
we've seen it all before , and we're just not blown away with it like we should be . 
oh well . 
it's still an excellent irish story . 
 "" the boxer "" of the title is danny flynn ( jim sheridan staple daniel day-lewis ) , an ex-ira member who gets out of a belfast prison after 14 years , and finds out that his troubles are far from over . 
first off , the ira is having a small civil war between its leader joe hamill ( brian cox ) , and one of its sub-leaders , harry ( gerard mcsorley ) , both having opposing views on getting many of their members out of jail . 
while this is going on , danny and his old drunkard buddie , ike ( ken stott , who played the chief inspector in danny boyle's "" shallow grave "" ) , re-open an old gym which allows the two opposing religios sects , protestant and catholics , to work together . 
danny not only begins teaching kids how to box , but has stayed in great shape whilst in prison , and is ready to start boxing real people again . 
and danny runs into his ex-love , maggie ( "" breaking the waves "" 's emily watson ) , who hasn't seen him since he went in . 
they don't easily start up their romance again because she's the wife of a prisoner whom she married during danny's tenure in prison , and also has a son , liam ( ciaran fitzgerald ) , from him , whom liam is hoping will get out soon . 
but the two are slowly re-drawn to eachother again , and this begins to complicate things . 
the political story is nothing really special but works in itself . 
we've seen it many a time before , but it's at least interesting , sometimes emotional , and even riveting at times . 
there's a big riot towards the middle of the film which is frightening in its brutality and honesty . 
the boxing story is very minor to the story , but does represent people coming together to fight eachother fairly , and even with good sportsmanship . 
there are only a few boxing scenes , but they're never like "" raging bull "" /let's-strip-down-the-sport-to-its-bones brilliant . 
they're more realistic , and instead of bone crunching , we hear the sound of the gloves hitting eachother , which is slightly unerving at times . 
and i didn't know daniel day-lewis was in such good shape . 
but the backbone of the story is the love one . 
because these characters are given such horrible circumstances , and since the two leads have such great chemistry together , we really feel for their plight . 
as the film goes on , and circumstances get worse and worse , the characters have to make real human decisions , and we can sympathize with them as humans not characters . 
this is how you write a love story - take note , hollywood . 
these elements are pretty much equally balanced , with each of the parts of the stories working hand-in-hand with eachother . 
i loved how each of the different parts of the plot mattered , and sometimes spilled over into the next . 
it made sure that we didn't just care for one of them . 
i'm not saying they're all equally great , because the love story really carries the film , but at least they all work out respectively . 
the acting is amazing , with day-lewis and watson giving excellent performances and showing great chemistry . 
i'm not sure if they're oscar-nominee bound , but they're very good . 
in the supporting roles , billy cox is greatly sympathetic as the ira leader losing control of his daughter and his workers . 
but the film is stolen acting wise by ken stott as ike , who is just a great scene stealer . 
the direction and co-writing by jim sheridan ( with the other co-writing credit going to terry george ) is excellent , rounding out the characters well , but not pacing everything greatly . 
i noticed that the first half was very leisurely ( yet fascinating ) , but the second half whirls by at a quick pace , and ends much too quickly . 
more time could have been spent thinking up the ending , since it does seem quite sloppy . 
though "" the boxer "" is a good film , it never achieves the greatness that it should . 
sure , it's a masterpiece compared to most of the hollywood drivel we usually get , but on it's own , it just could have been better . 
but it still works out , gives us a great love story combined with a political and boxing drama , and features great acting . 
even if it could have been better , this'll do . 
"
"1","you don't want to be like mike . 
mike has been doing badly . 
embarrassingly bad . 
he broke up a six-year relationship six months ago to move from n . y . to l . a . and he's still not over her . 
as a result , his jokes fall flat when he tries to impress , and he's a comedian . 
well , an unemployed comedian , one of hollywood's little fish , and it has gotten so bad he's asked for an application at starbuck's . 
actually , the starbuck's thing gets even worse . 
and worse . 
you won't fail to like mike , however , played endearingly by jon favreau . 
swingers revolves around mike's half-hearted and awkward efforts to get back in the social swing of things . 
to this end he is enthusiastically assisted by his equally underachieving twentysomething actor friends , such as trent ( vince vaughn with the film's most animated performance ) , who has the gift of gab bordering on the disturbing side of motivational speaking , gun-toting sue ( patrick van horn ) , and rob ( ron livingston ) , who once played hamlet but now longs to work as goofy in disneyland , but doesn't succeed because of his lack of "" theme park experience . "" 
together they talk about women - how to make eye contact , which involves avoiding it , and when to call so as never to appear desperate , two days being "" industry standard . "" 
after talking the talk , they walk the walk , strutting like the cool swingers they aspire to be , always to laughable effect . 
to get mike out of his funk , his friends persistently convince him to get outside , whether it be to a quickie night trip to a seedy vegas casino or a cutthroat hollywood party with the beautiful people or a 50s swing lounge . 
everywhere they encourage mike to look for a replacement "" honey "" and then keep vigil over his progress , or lack of it . 
like dotty doting parents , mike never leaves their company without being the recipient of their confidence cheerleading ( "" you're money , mike , and the honeys know it . "" ) or equipped with their eccentric dating philosophies , such as an analogy of flirting with the bear and the bunny . 
with the unwavering support of friends like these , maybe mike's not doing too badly after all . 
favreau also doubled as the film's screenwriter , and he proves he has the gift for creating engaging characters and witty banter that goes beyond today's bon mot . 
there is a reassuring honesty to the friendships , even when it hits its low points and the friends commiserate . 
when mike gets the gumption to look for love , you will join his cheerleading section as well . 
swingers is light , unassuming fare , sweet candy you will want to bust your gut with - laughing - again and again . 
"
"1","america has finally gotten what it's needed for years : a compassionate sincere president with impressive ethics and charisma . 
regretfully it's only a movie . 
president james marshall ( harrison ford ) is fed up with terrorist activities . 
teaming up with the russian government , he orders a strike force capture of alexander radek , a reactionary general ready to re-unite the soviet union under his fascist reign . 
during a celebration dinner , marshall announces to the world that he will send troops to fight oppression wherever it exists . 
 "" it's your turn to be afraid , "" he declares . 
returning home on air force one , he gets the chance to demonstrate his words personally . 
ultra-nationalist militants loyal to radek and lead by ivan korshunov ( gary oldman ) hijack the plane threatening to kill a hostage every half hour until the general is released . 
marshall has a chance to escape in a jettisoned capsule ( which clinton says doesn't exist in real life ) but refuses , preferring to stay and fight . 
director wolfgang peterson ( "" das boot "" , "" in the line of fire "" , "" outbreak "" takes the over-used "" die hard "" theme and gives us something new in a film that combines brilliant acting with hold-your-breath intensity . 
if you can take your eyes off the screen , steal a look at the audience . 
everyone is totally engrossed . 
the two actors do what they do best and they are probably the best there are at it . 
oldman has become typecast as a psychotic sadist and no wonder -- he does it so well . 
when he engages the teenage first daughter in sensitive conversation about his family and the next minute threatens to blow a hole in her forehead , you know that he's over the edge in the manner that people with a cause can become . 
you are convinced that young alice could end up terminated at any time . 
when korshonov executes passengers , there is a frightening reality to it . 
the guns in this film are deadly weapons , not cartoons . 
harrison ford has done one role for several years . 
his mastery of the man in the suit propelled into desperate action is in top form here . 
marshall is a medal of honor recipient who now has a desk job . 
realistically , he's a man afraid , but not afraid to act . 
ford is one of the few actors that could make us believe that the president of the united states could be an action hero . 
indiana jones in the oval office . 
he and oldman's archetypes match up perfectly . 
the other roles also go to accomplished actors . 
glenn close as the determined but unsure vice-president is the picture of an executive forced into a position that she's not quite ready for . 
dean stockwell as defense secretary eager for the authority ( "" i'm in charge here ! "" ) 
is her political nemesis and turns in a good alexander haig performance . 
of course the politics are all wrong . 
a cowboy president ( even down to his name ) with big guns shoots his way through problems . 
much like the american collective memory of jfk's camelot , the image is wondrous if you don't look too deep . 
the pulls on the patriotic heartstrings would be too much in any other film , but they work here . 
no matter what political spin you put on the story , the movie is an outstanding one . 
i left the theater feeling that there is hope for the country's future : not a common belief nowadays . 
now if we only can get ford to run for president . 
just because one actor didn't work out as chief executive doesn't mean that a different one couldn't . 
 ( michael redman has lost count of how many years he's been writing this column -- 21 years . . . 22 years -- while watching the sunflowers outside his window swaying in the cool breezes . ) 
"
"1","susan granger's review of "" songcatcher "" in the midst of this summer's fare of dinos revisited and romantic fiascoes , there are a few thoughtful movies - and this appalachian period drama is one . 
oscar nominee janet mcteer ( "" tumbleweeds "" ) stars as dr . lily penleric , an accomplished musicologist who , back in that pre-feminist era , was refused a full professorship at her university . 
determined to prove her worth , she ventures deep into the rugged mountains of north carolina , where her younger sister elna ( jane adams ) runs a school . 
there in bear creek , she discovers a treasure-trove of traditional scots-irish and english folk ballads , given a unique interpretation by the insular locals . 
excited , she sends for recording equipment and persuades vinie butler ( pat carroll ) and other self-sustaining mountain folk to share their musical heritage on her edison phonograph cylinders . 
their music , as she puts it , is "" as much a part of life here as the air you breathe . "" 
that's the main thrust of writer-director maggie greenwald's occasionally uneven culture-clash story , which is loosely based on olive dame campbell's foray through the blue ridge mountains in 1908 , but there's also some melodramatic romantic spice . 
ornery , bearded , banjo-picking aidan quinn falls for the statuesque , passionate "" songcatcher , "" while elna secretly engages in a lesbian relationship with a colleague ( e . 
katherine kerr ) . 
i'm ready to buy the soulful soundtrack with vocalists like emmylou harris , iris dement , taj mahal and young opera star emmy rossum who plays a pivotal role as mcteer's wide-eyed prot ? g ? . 
rated pg-13 , there's an intense scene of primitive childbirth . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" songcatcher "" is an intelligent , extraordinary 8 , transported by the transcendent power of song . 
"
"1","elizabeth is a potent historical drama set in england in the mid-1500s . 
it is a time when stately royal ceremonies are as commonplace as public burnings . 
internally , the catholics wage war against the protestants . 
meanwhile , spain , scotland and france strategize their next moves in the struggle for power . 
little does england know that a young woman named elizabeth ( cate blanchett ) will be their greatest hope for survival . 
the film charts elizabeth's tumultuous struggle to gain true power over her kingdom . 
as a protestant , she is the last person any of the catholic royalty would want to be queen . 
but her half-sister queen mary ( kathy burke ) , deathly ill and unable to conceive a child , pleas with elizabeth to take over the throne . 
mary gives her her blessing on only one condition : that elizabeth renounce her faith and uphold the teachings of catholicism across the land . 
once declared queen , elizabeth immediately finds herself under assault , both by her own subjects ( including the duke of norfolk , played with steely-eyed grace by christopher eccleston ) and by forces abroad . 
slowly but surely , the neophyte ruler takes england by its reigns and forges a new path for her kingdom . 
elizabeth is surrounded by a keenly drawn cadre of subjects and advisers . 
her closest ally is the mysterious sir francis walsingham ( geoffrey rush , in a perfectly subtle performance ) . 
also on her side is sir william cecil ( sir richard attenborough ) , her well-meaning but misguided chief adviser . 
with few people she can trust , elizabeth must prove her self-worth any way she can , even if it means being the iron-fisted ruler she secretly despises . 
blanchett deserves an oscar for her performance as elizabeth . 
she portrays the young queen with just the right balance of gawky self-consciousness and shrewd charisma . 
though not a classical beauty , blanchett is able to entrance the viewer with just a coy smile or an impish smirk . 
she is at home with her character's playful tendencies , particularly in one scene where elizabeth dances unabashedly with childhood friend and lover lord robert dudley ( joseph fiennes ) . 
whether fending off unctuous suitors or "" playing "" the houses in court , blanchett's elizabeth radiates a confidence which impossible to dislike . 
almost as interesting as the character of elizabeth are shekhar kapur's visual delights . 
he and cinematographer remi adefarasin have crafted a film with a rich color palette that is a feast for the eyes . 
rolling green hills , extravagant ceremonial galas , dark and foreboding corridors -- all are depicted with a real sense of artistic appreciation . 
the castles and cathedrals of europe have rarely been doted on so lovingly as they are here . 
though writer michael hirst's script gets a little murky at times , and his injections of humor get a little overplayed , elizabeth pulses with the right amount of dramatic and cinematic verve to make it just deserving of a theatrical viewing . 
as a whole , the story survives because elizabeth's struggle is one which deserves attention . 
by the time she makes her shocking ( but very sensible ) final declaration , we're ready to bow to elizabeth as our own queen . 
"
"1","making his directorial debut , actor jon favreau brings along his swingers co-star , vince vaughn , for this tale of two mugs on a career trajectory to nowheresville . 
favreau , who also wrote the script , is bobby , vaughn is ricky . 
by day they are construction workers . 
they also are wanna-be contenders , but neither has had much success . 
their last bout pitted them against each other and was a draw , leaving bobby's record at 5-5-1 . 
these two l . a . not-so-wise guys also work for max ( peter falk ) , a mid-level mobster , who is patient and understanding with bobby , but who hates ricky's guts . 
max has an easy job for bobby ; fly to new york and make a simple delivery to a gangster named ruiz ( a smooth and silky sean combs ) . 
bobby , because of his lifelong friendship with ricky , pleads with max to give his pal another chance and let him tag along to the big apple . 
against his better judgment , max agrees . 
of course ricky , a motormouth who inserts both feet everytime he speaks , nearly screws up everything . 
while bobby tries to stay calm and professional , ricky begins swaggering and throwing money around as if he was john gotti or tony soprano . 
the constrast in styles and the chemistry between favreau and vaughn is what makes made so enjoyable to watch . 
favreau with his hound-dog face and slow-burn personality could be a modern-day oliver hardy , only much wiser . 
vaughn is like someone vaccinated with a phonograph needle , he just keeps yakking and yakking , unaware of the havoc he creates . 
yet despite bobby's constant aggravation and agitation with his partner , a bond of affection and loyalty binds them . 
the contrast between the two friends is interesting to watch . 
bobby is button-downed , tightly-wound , always waiting for the next shoe -courtesy of ricky - to drop . 
ricky is mostly oblivious to the problems he creates and is genuinely surprised when he comes under attack for his faux paus . 
in new york , the two lackeys are like fish out of water , stumbling from one situation to another , trying to keep alive . 
combs is elegant , cool and low-key menacing as the gangsta they are sent to meet . 
falk is amusing in his small role , while famke janssen nearly breaks your heart as bobby's lowlife girlfriend . 
more than anything , made is a movie with heart . 
it is loud , obnoxious and very talkative . 
but the cameraderie between bobby and ricky holds the key to its interest . 
favreau does a commendable job in his directorial debut . 
he is a player to be watched as he can only improve with experience . 
"
"1","set in the wild west , this carry on centres around the arrival of the rumpo kid ( sidney james ) and his cronies in stodge city . 
his dodgy dealings and summary shootings aggravate judge burke ( kenneth williams ) so much that he asks sheriff albert earp ( jon pertwee ) to drive rumpo out of town . 
instead , the rumpo kid shoots the sheriff dead . 
therefore , judge burke sends for a law marshall to come in and clean up the city . 
due to a misunderstanding , an english sanitary engineer called marshall p . knutt ( jim dale ) is assigned , without knowing it , as the law marshall for stodge city . 
he arrives at the same time as annie oakley ( angela douglas ) who is seeking revenge for her father , the sheriff's murder . 
when marshall arrives at stodge city , he soon becomes aware of the misunderstanding and due to his rather limited intellect , he is manipulated by the rumpo kid and always ends up getting things wrong . 
in the end , there is a head-to-head between rumpo and marshall . 
with the rumpo's past experience , it would seem that marshall is out of his depth , but using his sanitary skills and learning the ways of the west from annie oakley , he at least stands some chance ! 
sid james , with an american accent , is perfect as the rumpo kid , a part which suits him down to the ground . 
jim dale provides one of his best carry on performances as the stupid sanitary engineer , and angela douglas is very effective in her role as the revengeful daughter . 
other regulars that appear in this movie include charles hawtrey and bernard bresslaw ( in his debut ) as big heap and little heap respectively . 
big heap is the local indian leader and the crazy casting of hawtrey for this part is very amusing , as is his performance : - he steals every scene he is in even though he does not enter the film until thirty minutes past . 
joan sims provides useful and amusing support as belle , the local bar owner who takes a fancy to the rumpo kid . 
however , the part of doc played by peter butterworth and sheriff albert earp played by jon pertwee are not really necessary , and pertwee's performance is rather poor . 
kenneth williams uses a new voice but struggles with the weak part of the 'judge' . 
even so , this carry on was sid james and kenneth williams' favourite . 
a very different carry on film , in that it is played more seriously by the actors and possesses more realism than any other carry on . 
the death count is the highest of any carry on film . 
sets , costumes and action sequences are all very commendable . 
the songs that are included in the movie ( the title song and annie's song ) are very impressive . 
a strange but therefore very interesting carry on film . 
not the best of its kind but it is certainly the most distinctive film of the series . 
"
"1","for example , in happy gilmore , sandler plays a rookie golfer trying to beat a self-confident jerk of a pro . 
if the star were any other comic , that would be enough motivation to drive the movie , but with sandler , the rookie also wants to win the prize money to help his grandma keep her house . 
that extra motive doesn't make happy gilmore a funnier movie . 
it doesn't really add any genuine emotional depth , either . 
in fact , the motive is almost totally irrelevant to the movie . 
but sandler's philosophy seems to be , if it's a token gesture , why not make it a nice gesture ? 
that is endlessly refreshing . 
in the wedding singer , sandler is right on track . 
the fact that he's a wedding singer is only superficially relevant to the story . 
what kind of a wedding singer he is is even less important . 
david spade could have filled the role with cynicism and sarcasm . 
he could make fun of the fat , ugly , or embarrassing people he meets at weddings , and the story would be intact . 
but sandler instead brings a mature goodness to the character . 
he seems to really enjoy the people at weddings and treats them as though they were his own family . 
robbie hart ( sandler ) doesn't just sing at weddings ; he also gets the loners to join in and have fun , and he smooths it over when someone does something embarrassing . 
he is exactly the man you would want at your wedding . 
the day comes when robbie has his own wedding , and he is stood up by his heavy-metal bride ( the movie is set in 1985 ) . 
robbie takes it hard . 
he doesn't sleep , he doesn't eat , and he gets punched out at work when he sings "" love stinks "" at a wedding . 
julia ( drew barrymore ) , who waitresses all the weddings in town , gives him a shoulder to cry on and an ear to talk to . 
eventually , robbie starts rebounding toward julia . 
he really likes her , but she's engaged . 
her fianc ? is a self-confident jerk ( do i see a trend - nope , just a formula ) who doesn't deserve her , but robbie is too depressed to fight for her hand . 
julia seems to like robbie too , but she can't leave her seemingly safe and stable fianc ? for the off-chance that robbie might be serious about her . 
you know the story . 
you've seen it a million times before . 
there's always a new way to tell it , with new lovers , new chemistry , and new details , but it's the same story . 
and sometimes , it works . 
the wedding singer works . 
first of all , the chemistry between sandler and barrymore is effective . 
actually , it's not so much the chemistry between the two as it is each one's own romantic tension . 
sandler captures the forlorn sleepwalking look of a jilted man , struck with an unattainable love . 
barrymore is charming as the girl next door looking for someone serious to settle down with . 
sparks don't fly when they kiss , but they both seem right for each other . 
second , their love is mature . 
they are not driven by passionate sexual attraction - they're a cute couple , but neither sandler nor barrymore is centerfold material . 
instead , they are both looking for someone meaningful , someone to settle down with , someone to grow old with . 
at a wedding , robbie comforts a kid throwing up in a dumpster while julia sits by . 
the repulsing situation is taken in stride , as if the two were already parents , caring for their sick child . 
the ? 80s soundtrack and references play a big part in this movie . 
other critics liked this movie in part because of the '80s soundtrack . 
i liked it in spite of the soundtrack . 
often , the music and references felt forced . 
for example , robbie tells his ex-fianc ? to "" get out of my van halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up . "" 
 ( ha ha ha . 
get it ? 
david lee roth did leave van halen ! ) 
or how about when sammy ( allen covert ) , robbie's chauffeur friend , shows up at a party wearing a michael jackson jacket and - get this - a single silver glove . 
 ( that's exactly what mj used to wear all the time ! ) . 
unfortunately , making fun of generalizations about a past era is too easy to be rewarding . 
that's not to say the movie isn't funny . 
screenwriter tim herlihy has written for sandler before ( billy madison and happy gilmore ) , and the two make a good combination . 
herlihy knows what sort of jokes sandler is good at and has tailored the script to his straight-faced , smart-aleck style . 
let's hope herlihy and sandler stick together for a few more projects because this movie really won me over . 
with barrymore's charm and sandler's heart , it was hard to go wrong . 
"
"1"," "" when it's cold , molecules aren't moving . 
everything is clean . "" 
these are the essential words of mikey carver ( elijah wood ) , a young teenage boy living in 1973 new canaan , connecticut in the ice storm . 
when mikey delivers these words to a bored science class , it is unlikely that anyone realizes how much they parallel mikey's life and the lives that surround him . 
his father jim ( jamey sheridan ) is rarely seen and his mother janey ( sigourney weaver ) is having an affair with married neighbor ben hood ( kevin kline ) . 
ben's wife elena ( joan allen ) suspects the affair , but doesn't say anything . 
meanwhile , ben's 14-year-old daughter wendy ( christina ricci ) continuously lures mikey and his younger brother sandy ( adam hann-byrd ) into sexual explorations . 
tobey maguire plays paul hood , the 16-year-old narrator of the story who also happens to be the least prevalent character . 
we start the film with an interesting outlook on family from paul . 
he compares family to the fantastic four comic book , and even goes so far as to say that family is everybody's own anti-matter ; something everybody will return to eventually , and the farther you go , the deeper you'll return . 
the ice storm is a character piece that explores a dismal time both in america , and in the individual lives portrayed in the movie . 
everything parallels everything else . 
the young teenagers trying to discover who they are thru drugs , sex , and alcohol is really almost identical to the parents trying to figure out the purpose in their own lives using the same methods . 
 "" when it's cold outside , the molecules aren't moving . 
everything is clean . "" 
everything is clean because nobody will admit what's going on . 
even the president is on tv denying his wrong-doings . 
how can you expect anything more out of a couple of suburban families riding the coattails of sexual revolution ? 
all the sex and drugs is so obviously empty , and i think that's the point of the film . 
at first viewing , the entire movie might seem empty , but then why shouldn't it parallel itself ? 
you don't get to know the characters very deeply , but i think that's because nobody in the movie knows each other either . 
we sadly watch two families go about their lives nearly oblivious to one another . 
at first glance , you might think emotion is lost in the ending scenes because you haven't gotten to know the characters well enough to sympathize - then you realize that just might be the point , and then you do feel the pain . 
the acting by all is quite good , but i particularly liked elijah wood . 
he doesn't seem to be receiving as much recognition as the others , but i still found him to possess quite a real sense of being . 
christina ricci is being acclaimed for her part as the misguided teenage temptress who looks for something more to her life in the pants of every available boy . 
still , i say hats off remain to wood , joan allen's subtle but believable performance as a lonely , unappreciated wife , and the always excellent kevin kline . 
tobey maguire did a fine job , but his character which , perhaps , was the most intact , sensible person in the story , seemed a little lost . 
he was needed , but perhaps he should've been used more . 
the ice storm is being hailed by many as one of the best films of the year . 
i hate to say that i don't agree , but i don't . 
in fact , i can think of many other films that i would rank higher than this one . 
even so , it is a very good film . 
it takes a lot of retrospect to fully appreciate it's art , but when you finally start seeing things in it that you didn't before , you start to grow even fonder of the characters and the story . 
perhaps this is one to see , ponder , and then watch again with different eyes . 
"
"1"," "" the end of the affair "" is a dark and moody romantic period piece , that neil jordan exquisitely writes and directs . 
although it's slow and sometimes confusing to follow , it still manages to give audiences a moving experience . 
based on graham greene's novel of the same name , the film mainly follows 3 characters . 
there's maurice bendrix ( ralph fiennes ) who has an affair with henry mile's ( stephen rea ) wife sarah ( julianne moore ) . 
sarah finds henry to be a bore , because well , he's just a normal guy . 
it's all work and no play with him . 
while maurice on the other hand falls madly in love with sarah , and would do anything for her . 
unfortunately the two break up . 
this is all witnessed in a serious of flashbacks , so that leads us to the present . 
it's a few years later , and they both still think of each other , so maurice hires a private detective ( ian hart ) to see what sarah is up too . 
while this may sound straight forward it's not . 
it's a deep dark tale of the jealousy that lies in the two men , unhappiness , and the ever lasting love . 
all this may sound like a drag , but it really captures your interest . 
with great performances by ralph fiennes ( doing another english patient type of film , only this movie is better ) and julianna moore who definitely deserves an oscar because out of all 5 films she did in 1999 , i believe this was the role , she had the most passion for , and you can see why . 
the story was also well written thanks to neil jordan . 
even though i didn't read the book , there's no doubt in mind that it was just as moving and descriptive . 
what's so moving about it you ask ? 
the tragedy of it all . 
it's not the typical romance , in which a guy finds a girl , they fall in love and all is well , this is more complicated and depressing . 
it really shows the complexity of a relationship , because nothing is ever perfect . 
everyone feels a different way and that is what tears us to pieces . 
back to neil jordan's script , it wasn't only red roses . 
there were times when i felt it too be a little slow , but most romances are . 
it also tended to be a bit confusing , especially at the start . 
it keep jumping around from past to present , so it obviously took awhile to get a grasp of things . 
also a notable was the superb direction by neil jordan . 
i'd have to say this is his finest achievement to date , because quite frankly i've never really found his work to be up to par . 
it just never did anything for me , until now . 
when it ends , it leaves viewers a little saddened , but provoked nonetheless . 
this is definitely one of the best films of 99 , and had some of the best acting , most notably by moore . 
not for all movie goers , but for those who are film buffs and want something of value . 
"
"1","titanic is , without a doubt , the best movie i've seen all year . 
and believe me , i'm not an easy critic to impress : the english patient was too long , men in black was over-hyped , and several of the "" big summer releases "" were dead in the water . 
thank god this film got delayed until december . 
it's my christmas present . 
titanic is in the tradition of the old hollywood epics of years-gone-by , and it is truly a stunning film . 
while watching this picture you are completely mesmerized , never taking your eyes off the screen , nor checking your watch to see how much longer it's gonna last , despite its 3 hour plus running time . 
as a friend of mine , who's a true titanic-buff , said "" if someone doesn't like this film , it's because they didn't want to . "" 
truer words are hard to come by . 
of course , it doesn't hurt that this film comes from one of my favorite directors , james cameron , who is unarguably the greatest action director of all time . 
if you wish to argue that point with me , look at his list of credits : the terminator , aliens , the abyss , terminator 2 , true lies , etc . still care to disagree ? 
not only has cameron helmed the directorial duties of this film , he also wrote , produced , and edited it . 
and to show his true faith for the project , he renenged all directing fees and percentage points to ease the budget costs . 
it's obvious he truly loves titanic . 
the film opens with footage , both real and fake , of an underwater excursion by special submarines to the bottom of the atlantic , where a team of explorers lead by bill paxton are searcing for a diamond called the "" heart of the ocean "" , which , according to bill paxton's character , would be worth more than the hope diamond today . 
their search turns up , dissapointly , no diamond , but instead a drawing of a young woman wearing the diamond . 
this picture is broadcast on cnn and is seen by a 101 year old woman named rose , who claims to be the girl in the picture . 
she is flown out to sea to meet bill paxton and to tell them about the diamond . 
almost all of the rest of the movie is her narration of the past . 
rose's narration shows us how she was an unhappy young girl , engaged to a rich man named cal hockley ( billy zane ) that she didn't want to marry . 
her mother is pushy and obnoxious , and cal hockley is arrogant . 
they are boarding the titanic , which is sailing to america , and this is where she is to marry cal . 
meanwhile , a young man named jack dawson ( leonardo dicaprio ) and his italian friend ( danny nucci ) win two 3rd class tickets aboard the titanic in a poker game . 
they are overjoyed , and rush aboard just as the boat is leaving . 
for them , this is their ticket to america , to a better life . 
for rose , she is sailing to her doom . 
the first hour and a half or so of titanic tells the story of how rose dewitt ( kate winslet ) and jack dawson fall in love . 
it's the classic wrong-side-of-the-tracks story , and does sometimes resort to a few cliches . 
but as i said above , the love portion isn't sappy and doesn't "" weigh the film down "" , as some critics have said . 
it's sweet , and it didn't make me restless at all , despite the fact that i usually hate love stories . 
of course , it might help that cameron introduces some pretty interesting characters to help keep our eyes glued to the screen . 
most of these people actually were passengers on the titanic back in 1912 , including the enigmatic molly brown ( played by the talented kathy bates ) , the captain of titanic ( bernard hill ) , and so on . 
all of these characters add an extra depth to the film , and make it that easier to watch . 
of course , things really start to get going after the hour and a half mark , where the titanic strikes the iceberg and begins a slow sink to the bottom . 
the sinking is depicted realisticly , and the effects are truly amazing . 
it is not told in a heroic fashion sense either , as people are portrayed as panicking , pushing others aside to get on the limited lifeboats , and drowning and dying horrible deaths . 
the best part of the movie , in my opinion , comes at the very end , when we flash back to the future . 
the crew , who at first had been skeptical of rose's story , now are totally aborbed by her . 
rose goes out onto the ship's ledge , and we then learn a secret about her that catches us off guard . 
we then see a dream of rose's , in which she returns to the titanic and is dancing with jack dawson . 
most people i talked with after the movie saw this as only a dream . 
however , i think it symbolized more ; i think it meant that rose had died , and is going to a sort of heaven , which would be the happiest part of her life : her and her one true love , jack . 
if anyone has seen the movie and would like to voice an opinion about this , e-mail me at venom8@hotmail . com . 
"
"1","sometimes you just have to tip your hat to a film . 
sometimes you just have to jump on the bandwagon and enjoy the ride . 
i saw the truman show with an audience full of teenagers , most of whom were no doubt drawn by ace ventura himself and hoping to see his latest take on fart jokes . 
surprised , they may have been , when they realized that this picture actually had something to say . 
but by the attentiveness of the crowd i'd say they were won over - as was i . i can't tell yet if truman really is that good , or if it only seems that good in comparison to the awful mountain of crap spewed forth from the bowls of hollywood so far this year . 
time alone will make that call . 
but by the end of the film we were all on truman burbank's side . 
we were concerned for his well-being , and wanted him to win . 
that we felt as we did is a tribute both to the film and to jim carrey , who has achieved legitimacy at last . 
the truman show is a film best viewed cold , with as little foreknowledge as possible about the plot . 
unless you're under a media blackout , however , you probably know the basics . 
carrey stars as truman burbank , a capra-esque everyman insurance agent living with his beautiful wife meryl ( laura linney ) in the south florida island town of seahaven , which looks like michael eisner's idea of the perfect american small town . 
truman would seem to live the perfect middle class lifestyle , complete with a working wife , a best bud , friendly neighbors and interesting co-workers . 
there is tragedy in his past - his father drowned in a horrible boating accident , leaving truman with a dreadful fear of water , and of travel in general - but overall , life is good . 
but then one day as truman leaves his house for work , a klieg light falls magically from the sky . 
this curious event may lead truman to discover what the rest of the world already knows : that he is a prisoner on the world's biggest soundstage , that his wife , friends and relatives are all actors paid to interact with him , and that his life has , for over 10 , 000 days , been broadcast as the world's most popular television program . 
what makes the first hour of truman so enjoyable to watch is the magical verisimilitude painstakingly constructed by niccol and weir . 
the soundstage , we're told , is "" only the second man-made structure visible from space . "" 
truman's movements are tracked ceaselessly by 5 , 000 cameras scattered throughout the town : button cams , dashboard cams , mirror cams , wife cams , big cams and small cams . 
weir cuts the film so we're never quite sure if we're watching truman through the camera of director weir or through the camera of the show's omnipotent creator christof ( ed harris ) who oversees the show from a control room built into the man-made moon in seahaven's sky . 
the second act offers a plethora of clues for truman as to the truth of his existence . 
his best friend marlon ( noah emmerich ) always has a six pack of beer with him . 
his wife seems to exist in an eternal commercial in which she is always endorsing the latest hot household product . 
he sees the same people walking in the same set patterns all over town . 
one wonders why he didn't pick up on any of this earlier , but christof has an answer for this : "" people tend to accept the reality with which they're presented . "" 
nevertheless , truman begins to grow restless , and dreams of escape to fiji , where an old college sweetheart ( natasha mcelhone ) supposedly lives . 
this convincing reality of television as progenitor of reality is a magical and provocative concept ; the best thing jim carrey does is stay out of its way . 
by underplaying truman , he allows the subtle manipulations of the film to take over . 
there is a particularly poignant scene in which truman confides his fears to marlon , and marlon answers with best-friend sincerity , "" i'd gladly step in front of a bus for you . "" 
but that line was fed to marlon through an earpiece by christof . 
the abject cruelty to which truman is subjected to hits home - and from that moment , we're on his side . 
the truman show derives much of its success from playing to our own secret paranoid fantasies - haven't we all , at least once , doubted our place in the world , doubted the sincerity of those closest to us ? 
ultimately , however , the picture rises above its own artifice to raise some real questions about the relationship of humankind and our creator . 
what does god really think of us ? 
does he resent our abandonment of paradise ? 
who exactly is watching us , up there in the sky ? 
if you enjoy the picture as much as i did , credit weir for allowing the magic of the screenplay to work . 
as for carrey - well , truman burbank is the kind of role that jimmy stewart was born to play . 
carrey is no jimmy stewart ; to his credit , he doesn't try to be . 
he just tries to feel the way you or i would , if we suddenly found out that the whole world was watching us . 
"
"1","i didn't realize how apt the name of this movie was until i called the mpaa ( the motion picture association of america - the folks who decide what's g , nc 17 , pg , r or x ) to ask why the preview was rated r . so that we can make some sense of their response , let me tell you about the movie itself . 
 "" the celluloid closet "" is a documentary about how homosexuality has been portrayed in the movies over the past several decades . 
it's brilliant , funny , naughty and extremely poignant . 
it tore at my heart to watch a gifted lesbian screenwriter explain that , as a rule , gay audiences hunger for any hint of homosexuality on screen . 
regardless of how veiled - or how sordid - the presence of a gay or lesbian person allows others to lessen their sense of isolation and makes them feel as if they're not quite so invisible as america seems to want them to be . 
the movie itself is rated r - and for good reason . 
it contains scenes of bloody , violent gay bashing and graphic , uninhibited , sex . 
as with any movie , i appreciate knowing about these things ahead of time , so i can decide for myself whether to see the movie with a friend , a date , my 11 year old niece , alone or not at all . 
but , that's the movie . 
now back to the preview . 
prior to this film being theatrically released ( it was originally filmed as a documentary for hbo ) i had seen the coming attractions trailer for it at least six times . 
there was no nudity , no violence , no bad language , nothing that i could see that would be offensive or inappropriate for a general audience ( okay , whoopi goldberg did refer to someone "" boning "" someone , but the last i knew that wasn't one of the seven words you can't say on tv ) . 
except for a scene of two fully clothed men kissing . 
hmmmmm . 
when i inquired about the rating on the trailer , a very nice woman at the mpaa quoted from "" the handbook "" that a trailer approved for all audiences could contain "" no homosexuality or lesbianism and no going down on someone . "" 
hello ? i was in the office and it was the middle of the day . 
bravely , i pursued . 
 "" i've seen that trailer , oh . . . 
probably half a dozen times , "" i gulped . . . 
 "" and i don't remember that scene . "" 
 "" well , "" she chirped . 
 "" it's there . 
our little eyes are trained to see that . "" 
no really . 
in the words of dave barry , "" i am not making this up . "" 
they are "" trained "" to "" see that ? "" 
when someone who was shocked at the rating the first time and made a note to watch it carefully the following five times or so managed to let it slip past her ? 
gosh , i certainly don't mean to question the mpaa , or "" the handbook "" . 
i would , however , like to suggest that it's they who are in the closet on this one . 
and the light ain't good in there . 
but , having seen "" the celluloid closet , "" and being one of a handful of straight people involved in a primarily gay and lesbian weekly bible study ( email me and i'll give you the details ) , none of this was any big surprise . 
the point of the movie was that homosexuality , even in the politically correct 90s , is ridiculously perceived as a threat to a mostly heterosexual society . 
a point well made in this candid and honest film . 
now , i could go off on the mpaa's ruling that a trailer must contain "" no homosexuality or lesbianism "" and ask how that is defined , particularly in light of some of the things , both sexual and non-sexual , that i've watched straight people do in trailers . 
i just don't feel the need to go there , because it seems so obvious . 
i'll instead suggest that the mpaa re-evaluated their evaluation criteria . 
let the ratings reflect not subject content , like "" sex "" and "" violence "" . 
let them reflect attitude content . 
in the future , i'd be interested in knowing whether the movie is rated d for disrespectful or s for stereotyped . 
then i'd truly be able to make an informed decision about how i spent my time . 
"
"1","118 minutes ; not rated ( though i suspect it would be rated pg for adult themes and language ) 
mamoru oshii is a name that probably isn't very well-known to most american audiences , but perhaps it should be . 
oshii was the director of last year's best-known japanese animated film import , _ghost in the shell_ , and is known among fans of japanese animation , or anime , for making films with a deep philosophical bent . 
one of these films was the first theatrical venture for the patlabor animated series . 
in its many incarnations--graphic novels ( "" manga "" ) , two different runs of made-for-video episodes ( original animation videos , or oavs for short ) , and a television series running to nearly fifty episodes--patlabor has proven to be one of the most popular series ever in japan . 
set in the very near future ( though it was a somewhat farther away near future when the series was first conceived ) , this atypical giant robot anime features the characters , rather than the machinery , as the primary focus . 
as a whole , patlabor is the story of an exciting time for japan . 
as the prologue to each episode of the television series explains , giant industrial robots , known as "" labors "" ( an interesting play on words , considering that "" robot "" is derived from the czech word for labor ) , have come into widespread use in japan toward the close of the twentieth century . 
with the rise of labors , however , has come a new menace--labor crime . 
this led to the creation of the two special vehicle divisions , using patrol labors to fight labor crime . 
the patlabor story centers around the second special vehicle division , sv2 , who , through no fault of their own , have acquired a bad reputation for destructiveness . 
sometimes utterly hilarious , sometimes almost deadly serious , the patlabor series explores the interpersonal relationships of the special vehicle crewmembers , and also looks at the effects of technology on modern life . 
those who are unfamiliar with the patlabor story and characters may find themselves slightly confused coming into the movie , although there is ample background exposition provided for new viewers . 
the story , as has much of patlabor before , centers around the controversial babylon project , a gigantic seawall that will , on its completion , allow the reclamation of thousands of square miles of land from tokyo bay . 
this project has been an almost constant target of environmentalist terrorists , most notably the house of sea organization . 
however , the threat in this case comes not from any terrorist , but from someone who is already dead . . . 
shinohara heavy industries , the premier labor manufacturer in japan ( if not the whole world ) , has just come out with a new operating system that increases labors' movement speed and efficiency by 30% . 
this hyper operating system , hos for short , has very quickly been installed into well over 90% of the nation's labors . . . including the patrol labors of sv2 . 
since that installation , dozens of labors , including a heavily-armed military model , have begun to go on berzerk rampages for no apparent reason . . . and the only factor they all had in common was that they were all running under the new hos . 
 ( some wags have compared this to windows 95 . ) 
it's up to asuma shinohara , labor command officer with sv2 and the son of the president of shinohara heavy industries , to find the source of these problems before more labors--including sv2's own--fall victim to them , and before hos drags his father's company down with it . 
as was the case with _ghost in the shell_ , if you just want a no-brainer actionfest , this might not be the movie for you . 
_patlabor : the movie_ is more of a psychological thriller , a technological suspense drama . 
it is closer , perhaps , to a chrichton novel than to an action movie ( crichton novels that have been made _into_ action movies notwithstanding ) . 
there are long , thoughtful montages of dialogueless footage as two investigators make their way through slums and derelict housing in old quarters of tokyo , similar to sequences from _ghost in the shell_ . 
this movie is fraught with symbolism--in fact a large part of it is based on christian symbolism . 
patlabor's near-future setting is , aside from the giant robots tromping around , very similar to our own present day . 
the film uses this setting to make its central point : is progress moving too fast for humans to keep up ? 
are history and culture falling by the wayside like the old buildings that are being torn down and replaced with new ? 
this is a question just as applicable to today as it is to patlabor's alternate-1999 setting . 
as far as the technical aspects of the film go ( referring to the subtitled version , as that's the only one i've seen ) , the film transfer is clear , almost phenomenally so . 
the animation quality is incredible , though the character design is different from what most patlabor fans will be used to . 
the oavs and tv series were more cheerful , better-suited to humor ; the movie , however , makes everyone look a great deal less cute , and emphasizes that this is going to be , for the most part , a deadly serious storyline . 
as far as cinematography goes , there are many interesting moments in _patlabor : the movie_ . 
i don't think i can recall ever seeing a fish-eye perspective used in any other animated film ( save for _ghost in the shell_ , another oshii film ) , or indeed , in many other movies at all . 
the cinematography is well-suited to the storyline , emphasizing what it needs to , though a couple of scenes ( where characters' features are exaggerated in anger ) may seem slightly strange to western audiences . 
the audio track of _patlabor : the movie_ is in glorious hi-fi stereo , and should be used to demonstrate home theater systems--it _is_ that good . 
even without headphones , sounds from either side of the screen can be clearly heard to _come_ from that side . 
giant robot footsteps are deep and booming . 
the sometimes-understated , sometimes-blaring score is crisp and clear , and always right on the mark , enhancing the moods created by the animated scenery . 
as far as the subtitles go , i have to say that they're among the most easily-readable subtitles i've ever seen for _anything_ . 
large enough that they don't strain the eyes , but small enough not to conceal too much of the screen . 
although it does have several action sequences in it , most notably the climactic conclusion , _patlabor_ is foremost not an action movie . 
although it is a superbly-realized film , it relies in large part upon prior familiarity with some of the characters to carry the story , and that could detract from some people's enjoyment . 
my . 
"
"1","okay , let me first say , this is a beavis and butthead movie . 
if you do not like beavis and butthead , do not go to see this movie ! ! ! ! ! 
however , if you do like them , i recommened you get out right now and go see it . 
the movie starts off with the boys wondering what happened to their tv . 
they notice that it has been stolen and they vow to find it . 
this wind their way through america searching for dallas ( she is a woman ) . 
they look for her because as they are searching for the tv , they find a drunk who wants them "" to do "" his wife . 
well , of course they think he wants them to score with her when actually he wants them to kill her . 
and the fun starts their . 
this movie is a mix of funny gags that anly beavis and butthead could pull off . 
it is quality entertainment that only fan of beavis and butthead would enjoy . 
i enjoyed this movie alot because mike judge knew how to keep pace . 
even when they were crawling through the desert and i thought the movie started to lag , he manages to keep the laughs coming . 
if you expecting changes from the show keep looking . 
the same character , the same voices , the same everything from the show and that's what makes it good . 
you might think with a movie from a tv show , you can change a few things . 
often times this spells disaster for films because the film makers veer away from what made the show popular in the first place ! 
"
"1","taking a few tips from the pulp fiction school of filmmaking , go is the new feature from the director of the cult hit swingers . 
the story centres around a group of people , who include brit simon ( askew ) , and checkout girls claire ( holmes ) and ronna ( polley ) and the misadventures that they get into , split into three chapters . 
everything from sex to drugs to violence is covered in a film with a much blacker edge in comedy than swingers . 
although qt's touch is evident in nearly every frame , go is entertaining enough to forget about the similarities and just enjoy the rollercoaster ride . 
liman , who also photographed the film , has a deft touch with the camera , and the film looks good . 
the film also seems to have benefited from a budget , with the night-club scenes in particular looking pretty good . 
there's a twisted sense of humour running throughout which ensures that even the darkest scenes get a smirk . 
the young cast are talented and help bring the story to life . 
holmes , one of the dawson's creek cast ( a show i'm not particularly fond of ) displays much talent here , and despite her largely limited screen time manages to make a three dimensional character and never becomes a caricature . 
askew is slightly successful , being rather obnoxious . 
no doubt the filmmakers intended this to make the audience cheer when what happens to him , but instead of 'funny annoying' he's just annoying . 
he drags down slightly one of the funniest chapters , but the talent around him in that particular tale more than makes up for it . 
the real standout is sarah polley as the drug dealing checkout girl : her refreshing and deeply enjoyable performance makes the heavy going stories she is involved in much more entertaining . 
also entertaining timothy olyphant as the rather sinister drug dealer , who gives an nice evil performance . 
the script , written john august , is sharp and witty , with good dialogue and some funny jokes . 
it starts off rather slow however , but in about twenty minutes the script has found it's footing and just keeps getting better . 
the stories are largely satisfying , although occasionally there's too much attention on one detail but not on another . 
also , some of the endings seem a little forced and lucky . 
still , the cast have a meaty script to get into and obviously enjoy it . 
it could of tried a little harder in some parts however , and these parts lag . 
because this is a gen-xer movie , the obligatory rave soundtrack must accompany , and go's one is pretty decent . 
unlike other gen-xers movies , go never allows the music to substitute for plot or dialogue , which is a plus . 
go is a very easy movie to absorb into , and the audience really starts feeling for these characters . 
thankfully , they never become two dimensional characters who are bent and twisted throughout the movie to fit into the stories mechanics ( like the heroine in 10 things i hate about you . ) 
they are who they are and they stay that way . 
go is great fun , and a worthy follow up from the director of swingers . 
ignore the fact that it steals from pulp fiction and very bad things , and just sit back and enjoy the rollercoaster ride . 
erm , go to go , i guess . 
"
"1","garry shandling makes his long overdue starring film debut as an alien from a planet populated only by genetically created men , who are looking to take over the earth by propagating their own species there . 
shandling is chosen for the mission , is given the name harold anderson , and is set up as a banker in seattle . 
after a few disastrous "" mating "" attempts , he figures his best bet will be susan ( annette bening ) , a former alcoholic who eventually tells harold that she won't have sex again until she gets married . 
the leader of harold's planet ( ben kingsley ) tells him to marry her , and harold is soon exposed to all the "" joys "" of married life . 
despite its title and premise which seem to imply that this is some jerry lewis vehicle from the late 1960s , what planet are you from ? 
is a very funny movie . 
the plot ( which the film wisely doesn't linger on the specifics of for too long ) is of course nothing more than framework for the jokes , most of which work very well . 
the material may be considered crude and tasteless by many , and i might have thought so as well had shandling not been the lead . 
but he brings a sort of pathetic charm to the role , and it's his performance that makes the film truly funny instead of just offensive . 
plus if you think about it , what planet are you from ? 
could have very easily gone the gross-out route ( considering that shandling's character is given a detachable penis that vibrates and hums when he gets excited ) . 
we never see anything though , it's all implied , which gives the film a touch of class amidst its crudeness . 
i'm glad to see that someone in hollywood still understands the concept of "" less is more "" . 
the talented supporting cast certainly adds to one's enjoyment of this film . 
annette bening ( oddly playing a merged version of her real estate salesman character from american beauty and her ditzy spiritualist character from mars attacks ! ) 
does a fine job keeping up with shandling and makes a good catalyst for his brand of humor . 
she even manages to pull off a potentially disastrous scene where she has to perform a rather goofy rendition of "" high hopes "" for a lengthy period of time . 
ben kingsley , john goodman and greg kinnear all fare well in their performances as well , and linda fiorentino . . . 
good lord , there should be some sort of law stating that no woman can be that sexy . 
everything about her character in this film oozes raw sexuality . 
what planet are you from ? 
is available on dvd from columbia tristar home video . 
the disc gives you the choice of either watching the film full frame or in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1 . 85 : 1 ( and enhanced for 16x9 televisions . 
also included on the disc as extras : a decent making-of featurette , an isolated score track , talent files for the cast and crew , and the film's original theatrical trailer ( as well as trailers for wolf , men in black , bugsy and as good as it gets ) . 
when i first saw that the disc featured an isolated score track , i actually laughed . 
how great could the music for a silly little comedy be for it to get it's own isolated track ? 
well as it turns out , it's a mighty fine score from carter burwell ( fargo , the hudsucker proxy ) that i enjoyed listening to again while i typed up this review . 
kudos to columbia tristar for adding that feature to the disc . 
what planet are your from ? 
was unjustly ignored in theaters , and i hope it finds its deserved audience on home video . 
this fine dvd is certainly a great way to see it . 
[r] 
"
"1","there's a moment in schindler's list when a number of jews are trudging through snow , clean and crisp , dark edges and frost on the ground . 
one girl waltzes through , wearing a red dress that stings the eyes . 
it is probably the finest moment through out the film . 
when i first saw it i began to cry , though i could not say why . 
this landscape is the setting of many small moments that add up to one big whole . 
when one man is shot in the head we see blood oozing out onto the ground -- so black and murky , its almost pomegranate red . 
at another time we follow a young boy as he runs , searching for a hiding spot before finally squeezing into a toilet -- which is already occupied . 
like so ( citizen kane , fargo , the godfather , the godfather part ii , greed , ) many of the greatest american films , schindler's list plays with the concepts of money , power , and soul . 
but this is a movie about a man who does the right thing . 
starkly emotional , and brutally powerful , schindler's list strips away everything on the outset and leaves us ony feelings . 
the following that it has gained is not suprising -- this is probably , thus far , the best film of the decade . 
steven spielberg has always been a skilfull filmmaker -- his assured hand churned out both jurassic parks , jaws , the indiana jones films , and e . t . 
-- but it wasn't until 1993 that we saw what a brilliant man he can be . 
the product of his genuis is really something to see -- it can bring tears to your eyes just as it uplifts you . 
throughout , we sense the deep control which he so masterfully spreads . 
we watch oskar schindler ( liam neeson ) grow from an arrogant , self important man who hires jews only to save money into a moving figure , with a deep sense of pride and accomplishment . 
the film requires much work , and can be a harrowing experience -- go expecting a quick entertainment and you'll be bitterly dissapointed . 
it does reward the patient viewer . 
this is a mature spielberg , and his deft hands shape an absoloute masterpiece . 
this eqsuisite , beautiful film is a rare gem . 
it does a good job of summarizing why i love movies . 
it leaves one breathless , uplifted , and with much to think about . 
afterwards you can reflect on individual images , visions , and people . 
laconic , removed , schindler strides through the film a detached prescence who watches all , does much , and leaves feeling as if he could , should , have done more then he did and was able to . 
the change seems natural -- in the hands of a lesser filmmaker , it would be crude and would cheat the audience . 
instead we are told a tale , told a story . 
the film is punishing to watch , yes . 
but anyone who allows themselves to get involved will experience a miracle , and a genuine masterpiece of a movie . 
"
"1","i recall the trials and tribulations of my high school years . 
it was a period that would mercilessly force me to exit boyhood and thrust me into the unwelcome arms of adulthood . 
but of all the experiences that i collected throughout those tender years , i can honestly say that the toughest and the scariest thing that i had to cope with was my raging hormones and my crazed curiosity about girls and sex . 
yes , more scarier than my seventh grade english teacher and even scarier than the bullies that constantly hounded me , trying to deal with my personal wonderment about sex was like trying to fight an invisible monster . 
for all teenagers , it's almost like a rite of passage . 
and what we did was sometimes downright nasty , sometimes funny , and sometimes shocking . 
and all of that is terrifically and shamelessly brought to light in what might be the funniest movie this summer . 
`american pie' is a comedy about four sexually frustrated seniors that enter into a pact to lose their virginity by the end of the school year . 
just how great are their hormones raging ? 
one of them notes , after watching disney's the little mermaid , that ariel is soooo hot . 
the four schoolmates are kevin , oz , finch and jim . 
kevin is the only one with a steady girlfriend , but doesn't want to have sex until the time is just right . 
but what is the perfect time ? 
there is just no way to know , and that frightens him . 
oz is the big jock who decides that the way to score with the girls is to listen to them and to be more sensitive . 
he joins up with a jazz choir and discovers that getting in touch with his feminine side has some tremendous advantages . 
finch is the phobic hermit who doesn't stand a chance with any girl . 
so , he pays someone $200 to start spreading rumors about his prowess . 
suddenly , girls are lining up to go out with him . 
but among these friends , it is jim that is the most curious and the most fearful . 
when he has a chance to romp with a pretty exchange student , his inexperience comes shining through . 
he has much to learn , and will do anything to seek out this kind of knowledge . 
this may include watching scrambled porn channels or experimenting with mom's apple pie in a scene that is completely shocking , raunchy , yet unbelievably funny . 
the one thing that i want to say about this film is that it well deserves its `r' rating . 
there is stuff in here that is completely gross in the same manner that `there's something about mary' was gloriously ribald . 
in fact , at first this film received a sinful nc-17 rating before a couple of more cuts finally brought it down to a teen-accessible rating . 
but i guess after seeing the no-holds-barred coarseness of south park , this seems tame by comparison . 
teens and anyone who can still remember their acne years are the ones that will laugh hardest . 
but unlike many teen sex comedies , there is a genuine intelligence at work here . 
these are four normal boys who have a natural curiosity about sex . 
their plans of action are thoughtful and they think about the consequences . 
they know what they want , yet temper it with responsibility . 
but almost always , it's impossible to know how to fight the invisible monster , and it's these episodes that make `american pie' such a carnal delight to watch . 
"
"1","full metal jacket , very much like every other hard-hitting film about the vietnam war , is an shocking , emotional depiction of the war that effected almost everyone in america . 
this film is more like platoon than any other in the way that it chronicles the struggles of a young man ( private joker , played by matthew modine ) during his tour in the vietnam war . 
however , full metal jacket gives the audience an insight into combat life very rarely seen before : boot camp . 
these sequences are considered to be the best part in this three act film , even though i found the later portions to be equally stunning . 
as in platoon , full metal jacket gets off to a quick start . 
the opening sequence is the initiation for the recruits , which is getting their heads shaved . 
from there , they find themselves standing at attention and receiving their orders from the extremely hard and punishing sergeant hartman , played extremely well by the former drill instructor r . lee ermey . 
apparently , the solution was found for the perfect man to play a drill instructor in the movies , because ermey depicts his character extremely well and will make you thank whomever that you were never subjected to such horrible situations . 
private joker gets off on the wrong foot with the sergeant , as does the large bodied private leonard lawrence ( vincent d'onofrio ) , whom is dubbed 'gomer pyle' by sgt . 
hartman . 
the film is continually narrated by private joker , in which he explains his visions on what is going on . 
the entire corps , although repeatedly hammered by sgt . 
hartman , continues on . 
private pyle , however , seems to be the rag doll for the drill instructor . 
he continually absorbs the worst punishment and humiliation , and it basically does not stop . 
that is , until sgt . 
hartman comes up with a new plan . 
he will punish the rest of the soon-to-be-marines for pyle's goof-ups , even after joker was assigned to help him out in the best way he can . 
pyle then receives punishment from his fellow recruits , and things take a turn for the worst . 
pyle proves that not everyone is emotionally , physically , and mentally cut out for the life of a marine . 
after graduation , joker is sent over to the height of the action in order to document the war , which is his service . 
he is not a member of the infantry , and it is unclear if he will ever actually find himself in combat . 
when he sets out on a documenting mission , this question becomes very clear from the start . 
joker joins up with a platoon , along with his hometown friend cowboy ( arliss howard ) , and follows their everyday actions , interviewing and filmming them along the way . 
he also soon finds himself in a position in which he must fight , or die . 
again , as in the tradition of vietnam war films , full metal jacket can be debated as to whether it is an anti-war film or not . 
a few of the more powerful scenes toward the end will leave you to decide . 
full metal jacket succeeds extremely well in documenting the life of a young man in vietnam , as have others in the past . 
this film , in different ways , also can be viewed as more powerful than others . 
that , again , is up for debate and depends on your opinion . 
one thing is for sure , however ; no one ever wants to experience the absolute hell that these soldiers are subjected to . 
unfortunately , many did . 
"
"1","oliver stone's latest feature is the last one standing in the long line of biographies of american presidents . 
it's a three-hour long saga about the life of one of the most hated and misunderstood leaders of the 20th century . 
stone doesn't hold back anything as he digs deep inside politics and legal maneuvers of the white house . 
the director holds nixon responsible for everything he has done . 
at the same time he creates a very human character , a brilliant and tortured man that is caught in the dirty game of politics , which is here pictured as a wild animal . 
he is simply trying to tame it . 
but the occasional switch to the raging sky and the clouds swiftly fleeing over the white house as events run ahead of the president's ability to control them . 
stone doesn't in any way apologize for nixon . 
he blames not only nixon's own character flaws but also the imperial presidency itself , the system that , once set in motion , behaves with a mindlessness of its own . 
 "" nixon "" is a modern shakespeare story - a saga about a ruler destroyed by his fatal flaws . 
there's something almost majestic about the process : as nixon goes down in this film , there is no gloating , but a watery sigh , as of a great ship sinking . 
sir anthony hopkins is staggering and plays nixon with incredible honesty and understanding , creating a very emotional picture of the 37th american president . 
joan allen's magnificent and captivating performance is certainly worth an oscar statuette . 
she is strong and loyal as mrs . nixon . 
the rest of the cast is equally magnificent , including : james woods , j . t . walsh , paul sorvino , ed harris and bob hoskins . 
everyone does a serious and demanding job , no one are disappointing . 
stone never loses focus and his direction is steddy , honest and determined . 
he is displaying the historical facts and at the same time concentrating at the human element . 
at times he is showing to black and white showing flashbacks from nixon's youth and childhood . 
the flashy editing by brian berdan and frank corwin , robert richardson's rich cinematography and john williams' musical score create a hectic and bizarre atmosphere . 
the film's only fault is that it's a bit tiering and overloaded with too much political material and legal maneuvers . 
still it's an honest and captivating - a solid piece of movie making . 
"
"1","in tim burton's `sleepy hollow' , there is a mysterious headless horseman who decapitates residents of the small town of the same name . 
he rides a beautiful black steed and carries an imposing sword that cauterizes the wound of his victims with an immediate swipe . 
burton's update on washington irving's classic tale of `the legend of sleepy hollow' offers us the mystery of the horseman , when the screenplay should have merely settled on the aspect of the horror . 
writer andrew kevin walker ( `seven' ) throws in perhaps too healthy a dosage of sherlock holmes , but the visual treatment of the film is absolutely entrancing , as burton offers foggy locales and detailed costumes that are gorgeous and stirring to examine . 
as `sleepy hollow' opens , we're greeted with a juicy cameo from martin landau , who won an oscar in burton's `ed wood' . 
landau plays a prominent citizen of sleepy hollow , who , on a fateful carriage ride through the forest , is decapitated by an unseen horseback rider . 
after two more murders haunt the residents of the quaint little town , constable ichabod crane ( johnny depp ) is sent in to investigate . 
landlord baltus von tassel ( michael gambon ) explains to crane that the heads have been severed from the carcass and mysteriously taken in each separate case , and that they believe the murderer is a dead hessian trooper ( played briefly by a wonderfully jarring christopher walken ) who has risen from the grave after being decapitated in the western woods . 
crane is not a man of great superstition , and is determined to root out the human culprit with his assortment of gizmos and gadgets ( things i was not surprised to find in a tim burton movie ) . 
first and foremost , `sleepy hollow' is a fun horror film . 
as with virtually all burton movies , we are treated to a wonderful score by composer danny elfman , who has once again poured excitement and imagination into an atmospheric soundtrack that accentuates the gothic mood perfectly . 
the horseman f/x are stylish and impressive , particularly in perfectly blended battle sequences involving actual actors . 
but why did i enjoy `sleepy hollow' as much as i did ? 
although enjoyable , it was not the numerous beheadings and the plentiful gore that spurted left and right . . 
it was the light comic touch that burton applied . 
the film has the sweetness of a candy apple , usually channeled through depp's wonderful performance as the lovable geek ichabod crane , who is no longer a mild-mannered school teacher but still attains his cowardly qualities . 
this is certainly not the only alteration that's been made . 
as the film progresses , it becomes apparent that walker is more concerned with the mystery of the murders than the murders themselves . 
the momentum is slowed considerably once crane begins piecing the mystery together , because for the audience , it's not an issue we particularly wish to be solved . 
it's more effective for the headless horseman to be an elusive demon than an elusive demon with an ulterior motive . 
still , we are still captivated by the breathtaking technical detail and burton's keen eye to capture our attention . 
the costuming is exceptional , and the dialogue is crisp and effective throughout ( it's recognizable that the script was refined by award-winning playwright tom stoppard ) . 
the supporting cast exhibits more color and playfulness than many . 
a blonde christina ricci is in fine form as von tassel's daughter katrina , and an unlikely romance between she and ichabod is surprisingly consistent . 
walken , michael gough ( who appeared in burton's `batman' films ) and miranda richardson are all enjoyable in tackling their separate roles . 
i suppose the strengths behind `sleepy hollow' lie within the central trio : director burton , constable depp and the headless horseman who hunts him down with ruthless accuracy . 
all of this is not to be taken seriously , of course . 
`sleepy hollow' is a lavish , frightening and altogether amusing reworking of a classic tale that many people cherished as children . 
if you've got a decent head on your shoulders , you'll have the good sense to gallop off to the theater and enjoy it one last time . 
"
"1","ok , i admit i had a bad attitude about this film from the start . 
a romantic comedy about the trials and tribulations of single working parents ? 
with a couple of incredibly cute kids thrown in for good measure ? 
yuck . 
but it's not really too bad . 
it has a lot working against it , for me at least . 
in addition to the above , it is typical of a lot of recent movies in that it is really just a glorified made-for-tv movie , but longer and with bigger stars , and you have to pay to see it . 
it does win you over , though , even if it is painfully predictable . 
just think about it : two single parents , with their cute kids , are thrown together due to a missed field trip . 
through a day of near disasters , they cont inually meet , get in one another's way , cause trouble for one another , and generally insult one another at every opportunity . 
in fact , they hate each other so much that we know that they are , or soon will be , in love . 
the only people who hate each other more than lovers are married couples . 
so this film is predictable , just as the screwball comedies of the classical hollywood cinema were predictable ( and the screwball genre is obviously hoffman's model for this film ) . 
will they get fired from their yuppie jobs ? 
will they make the big soccer game that is so important to their kids ? 
will pfeiffer realize what a jerk her ex-husband , a drummer for bruce springsteen , really is ( aren't they all ? ) ? 
will they finally kiss ? 
well , what do you expect ? 
but there is a certain amount of satisfaction in having our expectations fulfilled , especially when it is done with as much humour , along with a lack of sticky sentimentality , as it is in this film . 
pfeiffer and clooney have a certain chemistry together that is surprisingly charming , and the kids are neither shoved into the background nor allowed to steal the show . 
one word of caution , though . 
this film is being billed in some places as a "" family "" movie . 
don't let that stop you . 
however , i think most kids , especially boys , would be pretty bored by this move . 
after all , nobody gets killed and there are no explosions . 
all in all , a good , non-offensive date movie . 
the flying inkpot rating system : * wait for the tv2 broadcast . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"1","bowfinger is a good movie about the making of a very bad one . 
the screenplay , written by co-star steve martin , skewers everything in hollywood from cheesy science-fiction movies to chop-socky fight sequences , and all in a crafty and accomplished manner . 
anyone who knows of , or has had any association with movie-making should thoroughly enjoy this clever comedy for it's entire duration . 
the central premise behind the film is an inspired and promising one . 
bobby bowfinger ( martin ) , a cheapskate and small-time hollywood producer , has always dreamed of making a successful motion picture but has never attained the proper tools to do so . 
a new script , an alien invasion story entitled chubby rain , has caught bowfinger's eye . 
after confronting a big-name producer named jerry renfro ( robert downey jr . ) in a restaurant , an agreement is made to finance the movie . 
but first , bowfinger must get renowned action star kit ramsey ( eddie murphy ) to sign in on the project . 
kit turns the offer down immediately , but bowfinger still has the intent to shoot the film . 
after emptying out his life savings , the hapless producer tells the remaining cast and crew that ramsey is involved , and then prepares to film the movie without the star's knowledge . 
the actors confront ramsey on the street , saying their lines as hidden cameras peek through bushes to capture the footage . 
the unknowing star , who is terrified of aliens and being abducted , is brought to believe there is actually pod people after him . 
when the conditions become even more treacherous , bowfinger is forced to hire a kit ramsey look-alike named jiff ( also murphy ) , a sweet-natured dork who runs for coffee in-between shooting vital scenes . 
these include attempting a suicide run across an 8-lane freeway , and one of the `hot' scenes involving supporting actress daisy ( heather graham ) removing her blouse . 
bowfinger takes it's sweet time getting started , but when the plot switches into high gear , great things happen . 
certain scenes are so precisely executed , perfectly framing moments that are absolutely fall-down funny . 
no , hilarious . 
standouts include the chase through a parking garage in which ramsey , who's supposed to be being followed , keeps checking behind him to investigate a strange tapping noise ( it's actually bowfinger's dog in high heels ) . 
and just try not to laugh in the climactic kung-fu sequence , featuring jiff in an excerpt from another bowfinger classic entitled fake purse ninjas . 
while the entire 97-minutes of bowfinger isn't always on target , individual scenes may have you rolling in the aisles . 
masterful comedy director frank oz ( dirty rotten scoundrels , in and out ) , who has never made a bad movie , ensures a quality final product and is aided immensely by martin's sharp-edged script . 
however , the real on-screen star is eddie murphy . 
this is the actor's finest work since his breakthrough into the hollywood market in the early 80's . 
murphy excels at every corner , not only succeeding with presenting believable paranoia in the eyes of kit ramsey , but in creating a likable buffoon in jiff as well . 
these three talented comic minds have squeezed every morsel of potential out of this premise , and the reward is a virtually guaranteed helping of hearty laughs . 
steve martin generates the power behind bowfinger , but murphy fuels it . 
this is a summer-time comedy that , unlike something such as american pie and south park , doesn't break any rules . 
but it's still just as uproarious , or perhaps even more side-splitting than anything we've seen this season . 
the supporting cast , including christine baranski as a work-loving actress and jamie kennedy as the cameraman , all perform well within their limits . 
the only presence that demands real attention when placed next to martin or murphy is the beautiful heather graham , as the young film star who has plans to sleep her way to the top . 
graham , attempting to further her stardom after appearing as the new powers' girl in ap2 , displays a cheerful but naive persona that nicely corresponds with the wackiness of the screenplay . 
i wouldn't be caught dead buying a ticket for chubby rain , but watching how it all came about is certainly entertaining enough . 
"
"1","pulp fiction , quentin tarantino's anxiously awaited and superb follow-up to reservoir dogs , is absolutely and without a doubt progressing as one of the most talked about , loved , and hated films of all-time . 
in all fairness , it should be noted that those who love this film greatly outnumber those who hate it . 
as if reservoir dogs wasn't perfect , tarantino went ahead and improved on perfection by creating pulp fiction , a fast-paced , hard talking , roller coaster ride of a movie that combines violence and extraordinary dialogue in a seemingly perfect way . 
every major character in this film is represented by a terrific acting performance by the actor . 
to begin with , the two hit men : vincent vega ( john travolta ) and jules winnfield ( samuel l . jackson ) . 
these two characters work together perfectly , and the performances by each actor are nearly perfect . 
travolta , in fact , is still trying to get out of the vincent vega role . 
if these two characters were not enough , there's the struggling boxer butch coolidge ( bruce willis ) , the two small-time criminals pumpkin ( tim roth ) and honey bunny ( amanda plummer ) , the big man in charge marsellus wallace ( ving rhames ) and his attractive young wife mia ( uma thurman ) , and the "" problem solver "" himself , the wolf ( harvey keitel ) . 
these are just the major characters . 
smaller roles , but equally terrific , are handed to jimmie ( quentin tarantino ) , a young married man who gets caught up in some serious gangster business , lance ( eric stoltz ) , the far-out drug dealer , as well as maynard ( duane whitaker ) and zed ( peter greene ) , two hillbillies who are the men "" behind "" ( no pun intended for those of you who have seen this ) a very disturbing scene towards the end of the film . 
the film interweaves three stories that , at first , seem to be nothing alike but later prove to be very critical to each other . 
the film begins with pumpkin and honey bunny in a small coffee shop discussing their recent robberies and hold-ups . 
the two quickly decide to hold up the coffee shop , unknowing of what lies ahead . 
after this , the film focuses for some time on vincent and jules and their hit man lifestyle . 
utilizing the films unforgettable dialogue , the two men discuss such things as hamburgers and foot massages before they bust into an apartment to terrorize the occupants . 
the two men were sent to the apartment to recover a mysterious briefcase for their boss , marsellus wallace . 
after basically toying with the men , especially the unfortunate brett ( frank whaley ) , vincent and jules complete their mission and recover the briefcase . 
this is not before a man jumps out from a bathroom with a . 357 
 "" hand cannon "" , shooting at the two gangsters . 
he somehow completely misses them , leading jules to cite divine intervention . 
this is also the basis for more of the now-famous tarantino dialogue . 
the film then shifts to focus on boxer butch coolidge and his boxing escapades . 
butch was ordered to take a fall in his latest fight , but when he does not , marsellus vows to find him , wherever he is , and make sure that butch is not able to enjoy his new fortune . 
vincent , meanwhile , has the honor of taking marsellus' wife , mia , out on a date while the big man is out of town . 
vincent , obviously , is rather nervous about this , especially after hearing the tale about a man who was thrown out of a window for supposedly giving mia a foot massage . 
after their date , which seems to rather smoothly , things take a turn for the worst at the hands of vincent's high-priced heroin , dubbed a "" monster "" by lance . 
each story continually progresses , and new and amazing events occur . 
eventually , the stories all meet each other in the end , with pumpkin and honey bunny holding up the restaurant , which happens to contain both vincent and jules . 
pulp fiction is definitely one of the best films of the decade , and possibly of all-time . 
along with its superb dialogue , action , writing , directing , and acting , this film will not only latch onto you , but it proves that it does not want to release you until it has sunk its claws completely into you . 
and with most fans of this movie , this is proved to be a rather easy task , although at times the graphic images , violence , and language may seem a bit overpowering . 
surely , quentin tarantino's fame was greatly escalated by this film , and he proves not to be one who will fade from existence very soon . 
"
"1","i think the first thing this reviewer should mention is wether or not i am a fan of the x-files . 
first , let me assure you that no prior experience with the series is required to fully enjoy this movie . 
the producers are not stupid , making a movie just for fans of the series is not profitable . 
you have to reach for a larger audience . 
therefore , the movie is quite user-friendly . 
altough , non-fans will only fail to understand certain emotions behind the looks many characters exchange . 
but fear not , duchovny and another man later on provide more than adequate background info on what is going on . 
you will never feel as if you just walked in on the third act of some great opera . 
in any case , the answer is no . 
i am not a fan of the x-files , i only watch it when nothing else is on and i prefer millennium . 
however , since the fox network as been so kind as to air several key episodes for several weeks before the movie's opening weekend i took that opportunity to test the movie . 
i taped all of these episodes and watched them only after seing the movie , i am glad to report that i learned nothing new . 
everything you need to know is explained to the viewer by duchovny and others . 
i know i am going maybe a bit too far to make my point but everybody should get the chance to experience this movie . 
warning : major spoilers follow ! 
please do not read , to fully enjoy this movie you must not be able know what is coming , what exactly is over that hill and what that weird "" hummm "" sound is all about . 
you have been warned . 
the x-files is what a summer should be . 
exciting , scary , great special effects ( unlike other summer movies the effects do not take over the movie and are only there when it is really necessary ) and good performances . 
this is coming from a guy who thinks david duchovny is the human equivalent of a wooden plank . 
from start to finish , this movie does not let go of you . 
when i compare it with last summer's movies the best way to describe it would be : take the excitement and great score from face/off and the deadly use of sound from event horizon . 
this flick is scary , not in a b movie kind of way where you always know where and when the critter will jump at our heroes . 
in fact , the first time the critter in this movie makes an apperance it is totally out of the blue . 
you might as well bring ear plugs because this thing is louuuudd ! 
the last time a monster scared me that much was when i first saw aliens as a six year old kid . 
you know , when you are affraid to put you feet on the floor because the creature might be under the chair , or when you keep trying to cover your throat with your shirt ? 
so yeah , the x-files is scary . 
and guess what ? 
you never even have to see the monster but your imagination works overtime and it sure beats having to watch a flawed , computer generated , babyzilla , it looks like you could walk right through it not even scarier than your grandma in undies type of monster . 
do not think that the x-files is a monster movie . 
in fact , the creature is there for maybe three minutes total . 
no , the x-files is definately a mulder episode of the series . 
scully is at his side , of course , but gillian anderson gets maybe half the screen time . 
she has a couple of good scenes with duchovny , but she gets kidnapped during the last half hour of the movie so she does not get to do much . 
no , this is mulder's time in the spotlight . 
by now , you have heard of the scene where mulder "" showers "" independence day . 
if you have not then i will not spoil it for you , let's just say that due to recent events mulder should be "" showering "" godzilla instead . 
to those of you wondering if mulder discovers that the truth is indeed out there . . . who 
cares ! ? 
if he did find it the series would over anyway so what are you complaining about ? 
the dialogue in interesting and the director is marvelous . 
the camera is almost always looking over the shoulder of our heroes so we feel as if we are right there with them when they open a door or climb a hill . 
the script is spotless , every thing that happens happens for a purpose . 
if you are confused by something , do not worry because it will all become clear later on but , and i cannot stress this enough , pay attention ! ! ! 
unlike most summer movies , the dialogue is twice as important as the effects . 
miss one vital piece of information and , like most people who talk during movies , you will go home and tell all your friends how this movie made no sense . 
also , to those people who need to go to the bathroom during movies . . . don't ! 
the person who watched the movie with me had to go twice and twice she missed an important conversation . 
there is no time to take a breather between scenes because , again unlike most summer movies ( godzilla anybody ? 
 ) the x-files does not need to fill scenes between the suspense and the action with useless subplots , every scene is crucial and serves a purpose . 
who needs to see the blond chiouaoua have a "" big emotional scene "" between godzilla attacks ? 
so far this summer i have seen only one movie who ranks higher on my list of movies i'd recommend and that is the truman show but it only wins by a nose . 
but the truman show is not what i would call a summer movie , the x-files is . 
what more do you ask from a summer movie other than the chance to be excited ? 
cool effects ? 
it's good some . 
pulse pounding ? 
hell yes ! 
strangely enough , i think that fans of the series will hate this movie while non-fans will have a good time . 
it does not provide answers to the show's many questions , the status quo remains nearly the same and , no , mulder and scully do not get together . 
rating : four and a half out of five stars for the best movie yet this summer , several jump right out of your seat thrills , many "" whoah , i never saw that one coming ! "" 
moments , four "" holy shit , where the hell did that come from "" and one heck of an ending . 
you may wonder where this movie lost half a star . 
well , i swore never to give a movie the full five stars so i had to find something about the in his ice truck , the tracks it leaves in the snow behind him go on for several miles but then they just stop . 
it's pretty obvious the film's makers drove the truck for several miles to give the appearance that mulder had been driving for a long time , but in the end it looks like mulder just dropped from the sky and started driving . 
"
"1","i know it already opened in december , but i finally got around to seeing rushmore last weekend , and it was one of those rare oppritunites that i got to leave the theatre feeling proud about paying the expensive ticket price . 
as the final scene closed out in happy slow-mo fashion , i felt happy to have been priveleged enough to watch such a good display of filmmaking . 
jason schwartzman , his face oddly intriguing behind those large braces and glasses , steals the show as max fischer , the most well known rushmore academy student who gets terrible grades , but compensates for it by organizing most of the school's clubs and organizations ( i . e . 
the fencing team and writing and producing school plays ) and often pulling outrageous stunts , one that eventually earns him an expulsion . 
this stunt , building an aquarium on the school's baseball diamond , is a plot to steal the heart of widowed elementary teacher rosemary cross ( olivia williams ) . 
he funds this aquarium with the help of millionare herman blume ( a very oscarworthy bill murray ) , who eventually finds himself falling in love with miss cross . 
rosemary and herman begin dating-and the fun begins ; herman and max go at it head to head in a battle for miss cross . 
herman manages to destroy max's bike , while max cuts herman's brakes , and it goes on like this . 
but eventually max realizes he is too young for miss cross , and he can't stand in the way of two people in love . 
the academy of arts & sciences really messed up this year ; they completely overlooked rushmore ( and , if you ask me , it wasn't an accident ) . 
it maybe wasn't best picture material , but it certainly deserved a screenplay nod ( instead of elizabeth ) , and bill murray's absense from the ballot is a complete snub . 
the entire mood of the film is one reason it is so good ; at one point it's fun , and the next scene can turn serious and dramatic . 
the cinematography gives the movie an important feeling , as well . 
i hope rushmore can overcome its' oscar snubs , and be enjoyed by intelligent film goers . 
"
"1","capsule : this is a film that avoids easy answers . 
wilhelm furtwangler , then the world's greatest orchestra conductor stayed in germany and cooperated with the nazis . 
what were his views , was he a war criminal or a secret resistance fighter ? 
how much did he know about crimes against humanity ? 
the us government investigated him after the war and this film is a dramatization of that investigation . 
 , high +2 ( -4 to +4 ) 
in my opinion one of the best films of the last few years is istvan szabo's sunshine , a film that covers the fortunes of a jewish hungarian family under the reigns of three different regimes , hungarian aristocrats , nazis , and communists . 
szabo's follow-up film , a german production , is much more limited in scope . 
it is about the post-war investigation of who criminally supported the nazis and who opposed them . 
ronald harwood's screenplay ambiguously looks at the investigation of a great classical music conductor who stayed on in germany when the nazis took power and became the most popular conductor of the third reich . 
maj . steve arnold ( played by harvey keitel ) has been assigned by his superiors to investigate wilhelm furtwangler ( stellan skarsgard ) , perhaps europe's greatest classical music conductor . 
when other artists fled germany , furtwangler remained behind and conducted for the hitler and his henchmen . 
after the war is over arnold assigned to interview furtwangler and members of his orchestra and if appropriate to prosecute him for war crimes . 
he secretly is told by his commanding officer to find furtwangler guilty . 
from there we follow him and learn a little about arnold and something about furtwangler and his orchestra . 
as he interviews members of the wartime orchestra arnold starts noticing odd peculiarities that may or may not point to a conspiracy against his investigation . 
there is a certain sameness to the responses that he is getting . 
perhaps any cooperation he is getting has been in some ways managed . 
if so , perhaps he can never come to the truth . 
in large part the film is about mind games that arnold uses to manipulate his interviewees and especially furtwangler . 
where the script has problems is that in the end it is so ambiguous . 
it has no obvious resolution and not much of a final act . 
when it is over whether anything has been established is open to interpretation . 
perhaps that is better than so many films that make it all to obvious what the audience should believe , but it is like watching a murder mystery and never finding out who the killer is . 
we are given clues to something but they are never tied up . 
in the end we just know more about both arnold and furtwangler . 
the film is basically a stage play . 
the visual is not very important . 
corners are cut visually including touches like filling windows with photographs to avoid having to shoot on location . 
as with a stage play , what this film centers on the dialog , and that is intriguing . 
i rate the film an 8 on the 0 to 10 scale and a high +2 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
[there is one piece of sloppiness few people but me would notice . 
at one point we clearly see arnold's desk calendar say "" jan 16 tues . "" 
a quick mental calculation told me that combination could occur in 1945 and then not again until 1951 . 
the events had to take place in 1946 or 1947 . 
a possible date could be obtained from any world almanac . ] 
"
"1"," "" gattaca "" represents a solid breakthrough in the recent onslaught of science-fiction films -- it's a genre picture that doesn't rely on alien creatures or loud explosions to tell its story . 
the movie takes place in a futuristic world where babies are created through genetic tampering and not sexual reproduction . 
this allows parents to predetermine what kind of eye color , intelligence and life span they'd like for their child , and also eliminates most pesky chances of health defects . 
those made the old-fashioned way are labeled as "" in-valids "" and confined to the lower rung of society . 
vincent freeman ( ethan hawke ) is one such person , born not too long before the genetic process was perfected and forced to grow up in a home with his petrie dish-molded younger brother anton . 
fed up with being second-rate and enchanted by dreams of one day traveling through space , vincent leaves home and takes a janitorial position at the gattaca aerospace corporation . 
everyday , he watches as "" superior "" folk make his fantasy a reality . 
determined to do the same , vincent meets a dna broker ( tony shalhoub in a funny cameo ) who sells fake identities to in-valids . 
his counterpart for this scam is jerome morrow ( jude law ) , an ex-athlete left paralyzed in an accident and confined to a wheelchair for life . 
for a price and the promise of a caretaker , jerome supplies vincent with his identity , as well as blood , skin and urine samples for all of those pesky on-the-job tests and physical examinations -- this future is one where employees clock in by pricking their fingers instead of punching a time card . 
because of his drastically improved status , vincent is quickly propelled to a high position in gattaca , and catches the eye of comely co-worker irene ( uma thurman ) on the way -- obsessed with her own minor heart defect , she's enamored by his flawless persona she doesn't know is a lie . 
but on the figurative eve of his upcoming planetary departure , the mission director is murdered . 
two ardent detectives ( alan arkin and billy bathgate's loren dean ) determine the killer is on the inside of gattaca , and the sole clue they find at the crime scene -- one of vincent's eyelashes -- threatens to blow vincent's cover and derail his goal . 
even if "" gattaca "" were dramatically empty , it would still boast a sublime set of production credentials -- the film's look is dazzling without ever being flashy . 
first-time director/writer andrew niccol ( he also wrote the screenplay for the upcoming jim carrey drama "" the truman show "" ) demonstrates a keen eye for the stylish ; his collaboration with cinematographer slawomir idziak , production designer jan roelfs and costume designer colleen atwood result in a sophisticated composition that emanates classy , retro ambiance . 
an opening credits sequence -- where skin , nail and hair fragments fall in slow-motion through a colored camera lens -- displays these combined talents uncannily . 
niccol even utilizes voice-over narration ( a device almost always poorly-employed ) in an effective way . 
when it comes to acting , the movie is also flawless . 
ethan hawke does magnificent work , proving his ability to carry a film and reaffirming his enormously high charisma level . 
his chemistry with thurman is a bit on the icy side , but needfully so , adding to the setting's clinical chill . 
as the bitter jerome , jude law has a star-making presence , and it's his scenes with hawke that give the movie its fine emotional core . 
in "" gattaca "" 's series of final shots , the fates of vincent and jerome are superimposed over each other , and the effect is sad , lyrical and beautiful . 
things get a little strange as the movie nears its climax , when vincent's relationship with his brother comes back into view . 
the big dramatic culmination is a swim race , which is somewhat silly albeit beautifully photographed . 
still , the single most surprising aspect of gattaca is its use of backdrop -- it's successful sci-fi without showy special effects , it's a crisp thriller with character-driven thrills , it's a futuristic fable without blood and guts . 
even its murder mystery is relegated to a secondary subplot , ensuring that a smart story about smart people and smart science takes center stage . 
although it's portrayal of the upcoming century is grim , "" gattaca "" serves up one of the most thought-provoking societal forecasts ever depicted on film . 
"
"1","there was a huge crowd - so many over 100 people could not be admitted - at a premiere screening of "" the nephew "" ( first screening with a major general audience admittance ) . 
this was a movie premiere at the santa barbara international film festival . 
pierce brosnan ( 007 ) , produced his first movie with beau st . clair . 
it was a constantly mind-moving and personal movie with lovely scenes of ireland . 
chad ( hill harper , beloved ) is a cute 17 year old mixed race ( african american and irish ) nephew , who's irish mother died . 
he comes "" back to ireland "" , living with the curmudgeon uncle , tony egan ( donal mccann ) . 
he meets pierce brosnan's character , mr . o'brady ( or just brady ) , because he falls in love with the beautiful daughter . 
there are many scenes ( ah , character scenes ) to laugh at , others pull some tears . 
the three mentioned above were at the premiere in the flesh , with the director eugene brady . 
after the movie they took questions . 
the movie was very good , it not fantastic . 
the nephew has not been "" picked up "" in north america but has been in the rest of the world . 
the nephew is generation secrecy of a "" titanic "" proportion . 
let's hope the rest of america will be able to see the nephew . 
contact given in the program guide : "" print source : irish dream source , inc . , tel : ( 310 ) 449-3411 "" 
"
"1","available in an all new video edition from arrow entertainment ( $29 . 95 ) , with an introduction by david carradine , written & produced by wayne j . keeley 
f . w . murnau's career ended sadly and prematurely . 
the german director of such classics as "" sunrise "" and "" the last laugh "" died in a car accident shortly after signing a deal to make american pictures at paramount . 
murnau was reportedly a giant man , well over six feet , a towering figure probably incapable of anything but a grand entrance . 
which brings us to "" nosferatu : a symphony of horror "" : surely he felt a kinship with his title character , the looming vampire embodied by intimidating max schreck ; in one of the most indelible images in film history , silent or otherwise , schreck rises from his grave , gnarled hands outstretched , and he's so big that part of his head is cropped by the top of the frame . 
the plot of "" nosferatu . . . "" 
is lifted--unauthorized--from bram stoker's "" dracula "" . 
the british hutter is an eager real estate man assigned to visit and discuss future living arrangements with count orlock of transylvania . 
he leaves behind girlfriend emily , only to discover orlock's secret--he's a bloodsucker--and struggle to return to england before the nosferatu reaches his lady love . 
in addition to schreck's performance , the cinematography and effects are outstanding . 
arrow video's digitally remastered version of the classic is something of a mixed-coffin . 
the cover art features a red-tinted , hairy , goateed vampire staring straight at you , his fanged mouth agape , while the bodies of two sexy , writhing women entice you below . 
trouble is , murnau's monster is pale-faced , bald , pointy-eared , and non-goateed , and there isn't a single sexy , writhing woman to be found in his movie . 
this sort of misleading packaging makes little sense when one recalls the countless number of ghouslish scenes in the film from which cool cover art could have been extracted . 
additionally , notifying the viewer that this is in fact murnau's film seems like afterthought since his name and the genuine title are written in small print below our goateed vampire . 
that said , a good mastering job has been performed on the film itself . 
the original elements are not in the best condition--non-studio silents were unlucky in their preservation-- so we're still dealing with a slightly washed out , scratched , jittering image . 
but at least the day and night scenes are tinted sepia and blue , respectively , especially helpful to an audience who may question nosferatu's waltzing around during what seems like sunlight ( it took a lot of light to expose stock in the twenties ) . 
the title cards have been redone , and they are legible , accurate , and digitally altered to flicker--a very nice touch . 
 ( even the opening copyright warning flickers ! ) 
the score has been replaced by music from type o negative , a hard-rock group , arguably gothic , and their songs underscore the film nicely-- certainly the coolest video a band can ask for . 
when our hero , hutter , first steps onto the doomed carriage to count orlock's castle , we hear a well-timed "" now you're dead ! "" 
from lead singer peter steele . 
david carradine makes an appropriately vampiric host ; he fiddles with a blade and cane while introducing the film . 
after the feature , which runs about 63 minutes , is included a new music video from type o negative , the black-and-white fang-fest "" black no . 1 "" . 
of course , "" nosferatu : a symphony of horror "" is the main attraction , and while my latest viewing raised questions ( why is the woman called emily in the title cards but "" mina "" --as bram stoker called her--in hutter's letters ? , for instance ) , it made me realize how much this movie has inspired and been stolen from . 
coppola's 1992 "" bram stoker's dracula "" owes a great stylistic debt to murnau's masterpiece , but the one thing it couldn't thieve was the original's abstract charms . 
this latest incarnation from arrow will probably- -like the rescored "" metropolis "" a few years back--turn a silent film into more palpable entertainment for the latest generation of film freaks . 
"
"1","when i left the theater after seeing david lynch's "" lost highway , "" i remarked to a fellow movie-goer , "" i feel like someone just sucked my brains out through my nose and put them back in through my ears . "" 
in his first feature film in five years , lynch delivers a film second only to his debut picture "" eraserhead "" on the weirdness scale . 
you won't "" know "" what happened when it's over , though there are certainly enough clues with which to make some reasonable guesses . 
it is difficult to describe the plot of this film , because it depends partly on how you interpret it . 
i can , however , describe what we see on the screen : l . a . jazz saxophonist fred madison ( bill pullman ) and his wife renee ( patricia arquette ) , whom he clearly suspects of infidelity , receive a series of videotapes apparently filmed inside their house while they were asleep . 
they are , naturally enough , more than a little frightened and confused , and it doesn't help matters any when "" mystery man "" ( robert blake ) approaches fred at a party and proceeds to call himself on the telephone at the madisons' house in a scene that is at once hilarious and unnerving . 
the next morning , fred finds another videotape which , to his ( and our ) surprise , shows him brutally murdering renee in their bedroom . 
he is convicted of her murder and sent to death row , where he inexplicably disappears one night and is replaced by a young mechanic named pete dayton ( balthazar getty ) . 
the perplexed prison officials release dayton , whose life begins to intersect with fred in a number of ways - most notably his affair with alice wakefield ( arquette again ) , a blonde who is otherwise renee's spitting image , and another encounter with the mystery man . 
i would be giving away a little too much to reveal any more , but suffice it to say that lynch doesn't offer any neat wrap ? ups , nor does he put a lid on the metaphysical confusion : the cinematic demons of "" lost highway "" are out in full force from beginning to end . 
this description might make "" lost highway "" sound like a giddy exercise in haywire surrealism , but in fact , while there are traces of lynch's weird sense of humor , this film is anything but giddy most of the time . 
on the contrary , lost highway is a dark and perplexing mystery that takes lynch's previous excursions into murder and intrigue one step farther . 
the film does not revolve around a character investigating a mystery ; rather , the character * is * the mystery . 
there are recurring and at times deeply disturbing images of suspicion , distrust , and infidelity thoughout the film that seem to indicate a deluded , fractured psyche at the root of all the bizarre goings-on here . 
we , the audience , are left to puzzle out whose psyche it is that is driving this ( probably fred's , in my opinion ) and what , in that case , the other characters and events are meant to represent . 
all of this proceeds , appropriately , in lynch's typically slow-paced , idiosyncratic style . 
as is often the case , lynch relies on sound , imagery , and mood more than on dialogue and action to tell his story , and in "" lost highway "" it works perfectly . 
there are scenes when the camera lingers on fred's blank expression as he drifts uncomfortably down a hallway , or on his pained face in his prison cell while the haunting strains of this mortal coil's "" song to the siren "" can be heard faintly in the background ; nothing is technically "" happening "" in these scenes , yet they present a vivid picture of a man losing his grip just as effective as , if not more so than , the hysterical screaming found in most movie presentations of insanity . 
lynch's direction and director of photography pete deming's darkly lit cinematography serve to create a nearly suffocating atmosphere of tension and fear that are exactly what is needed for this story . 
well , most of the time , anyway - i have to admit that i was a bit bored at times during the section of the film with pete dayton as the protgaonist , which is less inherently interesting and mostly keeps the viewer's attention because of its tie-ins to the original mystery . 
the main characters in this "" reality "" - dayton ( a well-meaning but none too intelligent 24-year-old ) , a sleazy gangster ( who for some reason has two names but otherwise is pretty much a stock character ) , and his porn-star girlfriend ( the blond arquette ) - are nothing you couldn't find in any of the two dozen "" pulp fiction "" wannabes ; fortunately , the reappearance of the mystery man as well as some other typically lynchian elements , such as the strained , awkward conversations between pete and his parents , help to preserve the film's spooky , unnerving tone during this stretch . 
lynch's typically graphic and disturbing portrayals of fringe sexuality , while relevant to the themes of jealousy and adultery , are also somewhat overdone here . 
it's not exactly exploitative - like almost everything else in this film , the sex is thoroughly weird and creepy and is unlikely to provide any cheap lurid thrills - as much as it is unnecessary and frankly kind of dumb by the seventh or eighth time arquette takes her clothes off . 
that said , these minor flaws don't prevent "" lost highway "" from attaining its place as one of the darkest , most unsettling films to hit the screens in recent years . 
it is a one-way ride down the lost highway of a disturbed mind , and as such it is gripping , intense , and brilliantly effective . 
"
"1","melvin udall is a heartless man . 
he spends his days inside of his spacious manhattan apartment writing romance novels . 
it also seems that melvin will never change . 
one day he dines ar his favorite restaurant , and is a little too mean to his normal waitress ( the only waittress that will serve him ) , carol ( played to perfection by a lovely and sexy helen hunt . ) 
she threatens not to serve him if he doesn't shut up about her asthmatic son . he does shut up . 
to make matters considerably worse , melvin has obsessive compulsive disorder . 
one day his gay artist neighbor simon ( greg kinear , of talk soup fame , in an oscar-worthy role ) 's dog threatens to dismiss himself at melvon's door . 
the dog meets the garbage chute . 
soon simon is sadly beaten by thieveing burglars , and ray ( cuba gooding , jr . ) , simon's agent , takes the dog , verdell , to melvin , so that melvin can dogsit him . 
and through the dog and a rather heartwrenching car trip that involves simon , carol , and himself , melvin learns to emerge from his cantakerous shell . 
jack nicholson gives yet another oscar-caliber performance as the film's cynical lead , and is back at work , not playing a goofy u . s . president or a comic book villian , but instead playing jack nicjolson , and playing him full force . 
all of this adds up to this year's funniest comedy , a creative , witty , and scathing film from james l . brooks , and brooks gets award-worthy performances from the entire cast . 
a winner in every aspect , and a truly delicious slice of cyncial life . 
"
"1","i'm not really sure what to think about "" crash . "" 
on the surface , it's a cold , boring , unerotic porn with name starts , a name director , and some cool camerawork . 
i mean , it left me completely bored , unsatisfied , and generally kinda weirded out . 
but then again , not every film's supposed to leave you entertained . 
 "" crash "" is structured to play like a porn flick , but with significantly more plot and dialogue . 
while we see several extremely taboo scenes of weirdo sex , we also have a skimpy little plot going on ( mostly towards the beginning ) , and maybe just a hair of characterization . 
not to mention the acting is generally pretty good , and we don't really see a lot of the actors completely exposed . 
but what makes it supremely different from a porn is the fact that this is not an erotic experience . 
this film does not posess the erotic hypnotism of "" henry and june "" or the just plain horniness of , say , "" deep throat "" ( not that i've seen it ) . 
if one was to be made completely hot by this film , it would probably mean they were also into the whole "" auto eroticism "" thing . 
the film leaves you cold erotically ( and maybe in many other ways ) , but what it does is present a group of people who live on the edge . 
the film opens up on a woman , catherine ( deborah kara ungar , of "" the game "" ) , pressing her bare breast up against a car in a public air hangar . 
suddenly , a man enters the frame and begins to take her from behind ( the film doesnt' show all this though , even if it is nc-17 ) . 
the next scene has a film director , james ( james spader ) , having sex with a camera woman ( alice poon ) in an office on the highly-populated set of his movie . 
the next scene has the two coming together , revealing to us that they're husband and wife , and them sharing in one another's escapades . 
while the two are arguably freaky people , we at least know they love to live on the edge . 
soon afterwards , james is driving down the road at night , reclessly of course ( he's reading something ) , when he drifts into the other lane , and then hits another car face on . 
james is not killed , but the passenger in the other car flies into his seat ( obviously dying ) , leaving the driver , helen remington ( holly hunter - in a porn ? ) , also alive . 
the two go through therapy together , and when getting out , they run into eachother again . 
when james gives her a ride home , they almost get into another accident , and immeadiately afterwards , they go to an unbusy parking lot , and have a little quickie , as they were aroused by the accident . 
you wouldn't think there would be many people who shared this same kind of fetish , but they run into a freaky guy named vaughan ( elias kosteas ) and his crutch-carrying girlfriend , gabrielle ( rosanna arquette ) , who are also into it . 
vaughan is into living on the edge as they are , but he takes it to another level : he loves to recreate famous car crashes . 
in one scene , he and a friend , colin seagrave ( peter macneill ) recreate james dean's car crash without any padding or safety belts , and suffer some concussions , but nevertheless get a rush ( and the attention of the police ) . 
soon , these five are all having sex with one another , be it straight , gay , or lesbian sex . 
while this is admittingly all a bit comical ( the film is almost like a black comedy ) , the film does do a pretty awesome portrayal of people who's main fetish is living on the edge . 
i'm sure somewhere there are people who get aroused by car accidents , but i personally don't see a connection between car crashes and sex . 
the main connection cronenberg shows us that both give a definite rush . 
his car crash scenes are quick and exciting mini-masterpieces : we're at first not sure if they'll take place , but everytime it looks like it may occur , we gasp . 
then when it happens , we hold our breath . 
the same thing happens with sex , although not in the same fashion . 
these people are merely taking it to another level . 
the only problem with the film is that it's a tad redundant . 
a normal porn lasts from an hour to an hour and a half . 
this goes on for about 100 minutes , and it just seems a little too long . 
the sex and car crashes are far between one another , and the time between them are a tad on the boring side . 
there's no characterization , although it could definitely be argued , that hey , it's a porn , and we're not here to sympathize . 
but still , they coulda cut it down a bit . 
but the film is saved with its presentation , as well as some other elements . 
the atmosphere is very dark and forboding , creating a kind of cool weird feeling . 
and there are several scenes are just amazing . 
one scene has catherine and james having sex , while she softly asks him questions about being with a man , which sounds almost erotic the way she says it . 
a sequence involving one character's death is filled with all the edgy disjointment that the film needs . 
and the final shot is shot perfectly , creating an image of a car crash , and a couple having sex in front of it , despite the fact that she's wounded . 
the acting is also pretty good , especially for what is almost a porn ( ousting linda lovelace as best actress in a porn ) . 
while james spader is pretty boring ( he's usually pretty intense ) , deborah kara ungar is amazing . 
she speaks all her words in almost zombie-like hushes , and when she's having sex , she has a blank look on her face , not showing the viewer whether she's enjoying it or not . 
in one scene , she actually looks dead while someone is having sex with her . 
holly hunter , who gets extra credit just for appearing in something like this , is pretty good , and so is rosanna arquette ( who adds a kinda cool kinkiness to her role ) . 
but the film is stolen by elias kosteas who plays his character so intensely that he almost upstages everyone . 
he often speaks as he is out of breath , showing a definite affinity for his way of life . 
he has a great deal of energy in several scenes , especially one scene where he's taking photographs of a picture , and a later scene where he's getting a freaky tatoo . 
he and spader share sexual chemistry in several scenes , foreshadowing a later scene . 
kosteas is a little known actor ( his biggest role was casey jones in "" teenage mutant ninja turtles "" ) , but here he shows a deniro-like presence , hinting that he's capable of bigger roles . 
while i hardly enjoyed "" crash , "" it's still a pretty intriguing portrayal of a group of people who , if the exist , are some of the strangest and most bizarre people in the world . 
these people are able to share a rush between two completely different entities , and the film , which doesn't exactly pain them in a negative light , is sucessful in bringing them to light , even if it leaves the viewer unnerved and generally freaked out . 
despite the hardcore nature of the film and the subsequent nc-17 rating ( there's also an r-rated version , but i wouldn't even go near that thing ) , anyone looking for a quick turn-on should just rent a regular porno . 
"
"1","the first thing you notice about this movie is that it's cold . 
placed in minnesota and north dakota during the winter , many of the scenes take place outside with long scenes of snow-covered ground against a background of white . 
just what we need as bloomington struggles out of the endless long cold night . 
as with most coen brothers films , this features outlandish characters in nefarious schemes , each of which works out in the oddest way possible . 
a car salesman hires a couple of hoods to kidnap his wife so that he can collect the ransom from her father . 
along the way everything that can possibly go wrong does . 
in brief scenes of vicious violence , people get shot through the head , in the back , face , chest and various other areas of the anatomy . 
there is also one of the most unpleasant body disposal scenes yet seen on the screen . 
remarkably enough , most of the movie is played for laughs . 
even more remarkably , it works . 
the only likable person in the film is the very pregnant sheriff ( frances mcdormand ) who hunts down the killers while eating at every possible opportunity . 
with every good film the audience gains new knowledge . 
here you learn _two_ things . 
everyone in minnesota speaks in an annoying whining accent that would drive you crazy . 
and don't do violent illegal business with low-life amoral degenerate scum-sucking losers . 
oh yeah , if you get shot in the face , using a brightly decorated napkin to stop the bleeding just makes you look goofy . 
"
"1","plot : odin is a great high school basketball player . 
he's dating a hot girl and the coach loves his ass . 
in fact , the coach even admits to having fatherly feelings towards him . 
unfortunately , the coach's real son , hugo , isn't too pleased to hear that . 
in fact , he doesn't like hearing about any of odin's triumphs , as they generally supersede his own . 
so what does he set out to do ? 
well , let's just say that he starts to mess with people's heads and one thing leads to another thing which leads to . . . well , 
you'll see . 
critique : a very powerful , thoroughly depressing , well-acted "" non-teen "" movie starring a bunch of teens . 
credit director tim blake nelson for creating a modern day version of this shakespearian classic , set in a realistic high school environment , with the basketball championships as the backdrop and an impending sense of doom as it core . 
you also have to give it up to all of the actors in this film , who turn over some very convincing performances , taking you through all of their characters' ups and downs . 
hartnett especially should be applauded for taking on such a despicable character , a dude who you just want to grab by the throat and beat the shit out of ( sign of a good actor , if you ask me ) . 
phifer also comes to play in this movie , with a nice blend of charisma , fear , love and anger spread over his character . 
i was always on this guy's side and definitely felt sorry for him as things moved along . 
julia stiles was also good , but her character wasn't much different from others that she's played recently . 
i was however very surprised with martin sheen's showing , since i hadn't taken him too seriously as an actor over the past few years . 
his character is definitely over-the-top in this film , but i appreciated his fervor , his rage , his ultimate and blind desire to win above all . 
a great example of a workaholic man who cannot see the trees from the forest . 
i did have a few reservations about the movie though . 
first of all , what was with all of the gangsta hip-hop music used in pretty much every other scene transition ? 
it was cute at first , but became a little too obvious and annoying after a few times . 
the film was also edited pretty choppily . . . like 
some scenes were cut out and no one "" cleaned it up "" afterwards . 
i also didn't like the fact that hartnett's character , the man behind much of the nastiness that goes down in this film , was infallible . 
in other words , pretty much everything he says or asks of someone , happens automatically and without any goofups . 
i mean , i know the guy is smart and all , but i would have appreciated a little more "" realism "" under some of the circumstances . 
but overall , the movie will devastate you . 
it's not a "" fun date movie "" . 
it's not a movie about the high school basketball team and how its black star falls for the white girl from the other side of the tracks . 
it's about jealousy , love , envy , fury , passion , revenge and pretty much any other negative thought that's ever passed through your head . 
is it worth seeing ? 
oh , most definitely ! 
 ( pun intended ) it's a moving picture with great performances , no shakespearian speak ( thank you , god ! ) and an outstanding directorial job by nelson . 
the final scene alone is enough to send a massive chill down your spine , and i was especially impressed with the director's choice of music near the end . 
in fact , the whole sequence was quite reminiscent of the final showdown scene from taxi driver , and i guess that's saying something right there . 
where's joblo coming from ? 
10 things i hate about you ( 7/10 ) - election ( 7/10 ) - hamlet ( 6/10 ) - love's labor's lost ( 8/10 ) - natural born killers ( 9/10 ) - save the last dance ( 7/10 ) - shakespeare in love ( 5/10 ) 
"
"1","defending your life is an imaginative vision of the afterlife from the twisted mind of writer-director albert brooks , who also stars in the comedy . 
after dying in a car crash , on his birthday of all days , brooks wakes up in judgement city , a satirical rendition of purgatory where higher beings evaluate the lives of newly deceased earthlings . 
brooks has five days to convince two judges that he's worthy of passing on to higher plains of existence . 
enter rip torn as the slick lawyer who defends brooks in court against prosecutor lee grant . 
during his "" trial , "" brooks must view episodes of his life on a movie screen , and these scenes are both hysterically funny and painfully poignant . 
it's impossible to resist chuckling ( and cringing ) at brooks as he and torn try to explain away his cowardly behavior on earth . 
torn , in particular , is in vintage comic form , and he walks away with the picture . 
the movie also features meryl streep , appealing as the love-interest , and shirley maclaine , who pops up in a hilarious cameo . 
while the film is uneven , many of its gags are price less . 
take , for example , the food in judgement city : it's always the most delicious you've ever tasted . . . 
and it's also calorie-free--so chow down ! 
"
"1","jake kasdan , son of one of the best screenwriters around , breaks into filmmaking by writing and directing this hard-to-categorize detective story : part mystery , part comedy , part character study and part romance . 
for the most part , kasdan manages to combine the genres successfully and create a captivating film . 
daryl zero ( bill pullman ) is a modern day sherlock holmes . 
the parallel is present down to his love of music ( though zero plays the guitar rather than the violin ) , and his addiction to drugs ( amphetamines , rather than morphine ) . 
he even titles his cases with such sherlockian epigrams as the case of the mismatched shoelaces , the case about the man who lied about his age , or the case of the hired gun who made way way too many mistakes . 
however zero's observance of the fine art of detachment , though it makes him a brilliant private investigator , makes him somewhat of a self-imposed outcast in society . 
he could do nothing without the legwork of his trusty assistant dr . watson , i mean steve arlo ( ben stiller ) . 
arlo is not happy with his job . 
he is thrilled to be around zero's brilliance , but his bizarre behavior , and strange requests , are frustrating to the former lawyer . 
and they're even more so to his girlfriend , jess ( angela featherstone ) , who is fed up that her boyfriend's boss means more to arlo than her . 
this is the situation when a new case comes knocking . 
gregory stark ( ryan o'neill ) hires zero to find his lost keys . 
it seems that he kept a safety deposit box key on the ring , and the box apparently contains some incriminating evidence . 
now , stark is being blackmailed , and needs to reclaim his key before the nightmare can end . 
to solve this case , zero reluctantly crawls out of his shell . 
however , this is when he is vulnerable . . . and 
this time he falls for charms of a wily paramedic , gloria sullivan ( kim dickens ) , who may be involved in the blackmail scheme . 
for the first time , zero has to question his own objectivity , as he finds his client less and less sympathetic . 
zero effect is weakest in its obviously "" wacky "" scenes depicting daryl zero's odd behavior . 
such scenes might be appropriate in an out-and-out satire , making zero an ace ventura-ish character . 
however , there's a much meatier movie in here . . . it just takes a while to get out . 
that's not to say that there's not a place for humor in this film . 
in fact , some of the best scenes are ben stiller's wonderfully underplayed comic moments of absolute disgust and frustration with his employer . 
however , the over-the-top scenes never quite gel with the rest of the film , and they aren't funny enough to stand on their own . 
once the investigation is underway , however , zero's brilliance really begins to shine . 
his lightning quick inferences are as fascinating as many of sherlock's own . 
as the mystery begins to unfold , zero's deductions lead the plot in interesting directions , but never lose the viewer . 
zero effect works well during its romantic scenes as well . 
zero's relationship with gloria is low-key , but it hits all the right notes . 
however , we are always kept distant from gloria's character . 
she's given plenty of development , but we never understand what she is thinking . 
perhaps that may be intentional : to place the audience in zero's zone of detachment . 
but , on the whole , it is frustrating . 
bill pullman , when he's not spacing out , creates a vibrant character in daryl zero . 
there's one moment when zero briefly connects to the world which he has managed to detach from for many years , and it is shockingly moving . . . expressing a seriousness that heretofore was unassociated with the character , but one which fits in well . 
and , although it is sometimes hard to take a detective called "" zero "" seriously , it is at this moment that the viewer understands the meaning behind the name . 
although zero effect is a bit awkward in places , it is a strong debut for kasdan , and shows great promise . 
"
"1","well i'll be damned , what a most excellent surprise . 
not to be confused with the campy and far inferior 1988 remake starring ex-porn star traci lords , this more recent attempt at remaking the 1950's drive-in schlockfest not of this earth is a real gem and was quite possibly the best sci-fi flick of 1995 . 
once again , b-movie king roger corman is behind this effort ( he directed the original ) but this time he appears only in the role of executive producer . 
the rest of the crew and cast are relative unknowns . 
it seems criminal that the film was released direct to video in most countries , because it's an absolute must-see for sci-fi fans and a treat for anyone who enjoys decently acted and written thrillers with a kooky bent . 
the plot in brief . 
paul johnson ( michael york ) is an alien posing as an eccentric millionaire who , though needing to kill people to live , is visiting earth for far from selfish reasons . 
his race is dying of a mysterious blood disease and he desperately is trying to find a cure , the key of which lies in the blood of humans . 
he visits and soon puts under his spell the respected blood physician dr . rochelle , whom he hypnotises into doing secret research on his behalf . 
he also has the doctor convince smart and sexy nurse amanda ( elizabeth barondes ) to move in with johnson as his private nurse so as to give him the blood transfusions which he constantly requires . 
but before long , amanda and johnson's sleazy chauffeur release that johnson is a lot more than just eccentric . 
i must admit , my first glimpse of the video cover for not of this earth was not encouraging . 
british actor michael york has appeared in some real stinkers in past few decades , a far cry from the quality fare of his younger days such as caberat ( 1972 ) . 
but his performance here as an alien in human disguise is nothing short of outstanding . 
the weird twitches and bizarre modes of speech , the dapper clothes and cool spectacles , the unexpected pathos which he invests in his character . 
york is by turns hilarious , menacing and tragic . 
this is a tour-de-force and quite simply the best performance i've seen from him . 
and while obviously made on a modest budget , the film boasts enormous strengths . 
the casting is spot on , the acting is terrific and the script is intelligent , witty and consistently engaging , cleverly updating the original . 
the balance of horror and humour is just about perfect , a marked contrast to the earlier remake from 1988 . 
the film doesn't drag for a second of its 90 minute running time thanks to tight editing and the sure hand of little-known director terrance h . winkless . 
and it doesn't matter one bit that the special effects are cheesy - this is schlock after all , even if it is high class schlock . 
in fact my only criticism of the film is that things get a tad weak towards the end . 
tighter direction could have given the climax more urgency and a few of the characters act rather illogically given their life-threatening situation . 
but these are minor complaints . 
just see it . 
not of this earth is one of the biggest sci-fi surprises in years . 
and michael york : in one cool swoop you've made yourself a b-movie legend , dude . 
"
"1","in 1998 , director brett ratner and his stars , jackie chan and chris tucker , breathed new life into the buddy-action film genre with the cross-cultural "" rush hour "" - to the tune of about $250 million . 
you don't mess with success , so the team is back again , and better , in "" rush hour 2 . "" 
the combo of the terrific physical talents of chan and the non-stop motor mouth of tucker made for an ethnically unusual duet in "" rush hour "" that played well to audiences around the world . 
the formula worked so well , in fact , that the sequel was inevitable . 
i'm never thrilled with the idea of a follow-up to a successful original since they rarely meet the previously set expectations . 
surprisingly , "" rush hour 2 "" wastes no time getting down to business and turns out to be better than the flick that spawned it . 
the script , by jeff nathanson ( utilizing the characters developed by ross lamanna in the first film ) , wastes no time getting to the point right from the start . 
terrorists have bombed the us embassy in hong kong , killing two american translators , and chief inspector lee ( jackie chan ) is handed the job of solving the crime . 
concurrently , his friend james carter ( chris tucker ) arrives on the island for some much needed r&r and expects his friend to spend some time and show him the sights . 
instead , lee drags carter into the case and the duo get involved in stopping a conspiracy to counterfeit hundreds of million of us dollars . 
the makers of "" rush hour 2 "" are working at a distinct advantage over the original . 
we , the viewer , are familiar with the two lead characters and the already-existing chemistry that chan and tucker developed so well the first time around . 
that chemistry was a high point ( and probably the saving point ) before and , now , the pair wears their friendship like a comfortable suit . 
little time is wasted in getting to know the key players so the screenplay capitalizes on those things we liked best in "" rush hour . "" 
first and foremost to me , in "" rh2 , "" is the immense pleasure in watching jackie chan's artistry in fight choreography . 
the 47-year old martial arts master has a renowned reputation for doing all of his own stunt work and , here , he does not disappoint . 
chan's use of props when battling bad guys continues as he pulverizes his opponents with whatever item comes to hand , such as a trash bucket . 
his moves look every bit as good as they ever did as he fights four or five nemesis at once on bamboo scaffolding , on the tail end of a yacht , in a hong kong massage parlor and , for the finale , in a las vegas casino . 
like harold lloyd or buster keaton , chan takes pride in putting his physical self on the line in pursuit of his artistry and is a joy to watch . 
chris tucker reprises his role as the motor mouthed la cop , carter , who teams , again , with lee to put down the bad guys . 
when he is unceremoniously pulled from his vacation to help his colleague and friend with the big case , he still looks to have some fun . 
when lee goes into a karaoke bar , the lair of chief bad guy ricky tan ( john lone ) and his hoods , carter takes the spotlight on stage with a credible michael jackson riff . 
the comedian made the move from the improv stage to the big screen and , with jackie chan , has a franchise to hang his coat on to pay the bills . 
the combo of chan's flying feet and fists with tucker's fast mouth make a duet more endearing than riggs and murtaugh in the "" lethal weapon "" films . 
the supporting cast is here to move things along efficiently . 
john lone , as ricky tan , is a suave villain who is the real power behind the throne of american bigwig steven reign ( alan king in a walk through performance ) . 
lone doesn't chew scenery or make pronouncements to "" get lee and carter , "" but gives the chief bad guy elegance . 
zhang zi-yi ( "" crouching tiger , hidden dragon "" ) continues to display her martial arts skills as ricky's taciturn henchlady , hu li , who carries on an ongoing battle with carter . 
 ( carter has a problem , through most of the film , with hitting a woman , but this falls aside with their eventual one-on-one melee at the conclusion . ) 
roselyn sanchez is knockdown gorgeous ( and resembles sandra bullock ) as undercover agent isabella molina - she doesn't add much to the equation but is terrific to watch . 
director ratner and the original "" rush hour "" production team have assembled a crew of skilled craftsmen to work behind the camera . 
cinematographer matthew f . leonetti has had a long career of shooting action flicks and gives "" rh2 "" the fluid camera movement the genre film needs . 
production design by terrence marsh spans continents and gives the right look , whether it is in a hong kong karaoke bar or a high stakes las vegas casino . 
the rest of the techs are of the same high quality . 
i'm surprised to even say that "" rush hour 2 "" is the most entertaining of the summer blockbuster movies . 
it takes the best of the first film and kicks jurassic dino butt in its fun , frolic and fast pace and is the best mainstream thing out , so far , this summer . 
i give it a b . 
"
"1","shakespeare . you hardly understood it in high school . 
why would you want more of it now that your english grade doesn't count on it ? 
if this is your attitude , then i'll say right off the bat that kenneth branagh's hamlet is probably not for you , and you might as well stop reading right now . 
if , however , you are a lover of the bard , or at the very least are open-minded about a challenging script , read on , for there is something rotten in the state of denmark . 
namely , the king has died , and his widow the queen has wed the king's brother , claudius , but prince hamlet suspects foul play . 
his suspicions are confirmed when the ghost of his father appears and relates the story of his murder at his own brother's hands . 
hamlet , enlisting the help of his friend horatio , conspires to capture the conscience of the new king to expose his treachery . . . . and 
the game is afoot . . . . 
the first things you notice about this production are the sets and costumes . 
with external scenes filmed at blemheim palace in england ( also the one of the sites for the recent the avengers ) , the grandiose quality of the setting is immediately established . 
interior scenes are similarly graced with intricate and flamboyant rooms and chambers . 
the hamlet castle's grand throne room is an impressive piece of work incorporating high ceilings , mirror-panel doors , and bridges which connect opposite sides of a second-story loft . 
costuming is equally grand , drawing upon both history and imagination . . 
not quite the denmark of the 1600's , the characters' attire is something of a cross between that era and turn of the century russia , very effectively giving the film more of a timeless feel . 
it is not surprising that tim harvey and alexandra byrne were nominated for best art direction and best costume design oscars , respectively . 
in addition to directing , kenneth branagh also plays the title character . 
as the revenge-driven royal heir , branagh provides a riveting performance of emotional highs and lows . 
from the anticipation of seeing his father's ghost , to the melancholy of finding the burial site of his childhood jester , to his eventual wrath , branagh delivers in spades . 
every scene truly revolves around hamlet , as much a tribute to branagh's acting and directing as to shakespeare's manuscript . 
hamlet seems to be a who's who of shakespearean-trained actors , so watching them perform the craft for which they have much love is a delight in itself . 
julie christie , as hamlet's mother gertrude , and derek jacobi as his murderous uncle claudius both fill the classic roles superbly , as do many of the supporting players . 
kate winslet as hamlet's lover ophelia , does an outstanding job demonstrating the character's plummet to the depths of dispair and madness . 
richard briers as ophelia's father , polonius , and michael moloney as her brother , laertes , are equally convincing . 
nicholas farrell as hamlet's trusted friend horatio , and timothy spall and reece dinsdale as the two-timing rosencrantz and guildenstern round out the excellent core cast . 
hamlet also seems to be a film in which someone tried to stuff as many well known actors as possible . 
in some cases , this made for interesting scenes . 
billy crystal is surprisingly good as the gravedigger who unearths the skull of yorick , whom hamlet knew quite well . 
crystal proves himself able to deliver the lines with both the timing of a classic actor and the verbal countenance of a comedian , and the result is a very funny scene . 
however , charleton heston , whom many might think would butcher shakespeare , is the biggest surprise of all . 
as the player king , the leader of a troupe of traveling actors , he is absolutely breathtaking when narrating the story of priam and hecuba . 
part of his monologue is overlaid with a visual enactment of the story ( with sir john gielgud and judi dench ) , but this is most unfortunate , for it robs heston of some of the attention which he deserves at this time . 
his off-camera speaking , while gripping , sort of downplays the scene to a narration done by any other well-voiced actor . 
i wish branagh had chosen to allow us to envision in our own minds the scene which heston lays out , and let the venerable actor have the attention . 
unfortunately , there were some casting choices which led to poor distractions . 
jack lemmon , an excellent actor , just can't do shakespeare . 
as marcellus , the guard who sees the elder hamlet's ghost , lemmon sadly underperforms and is shown up left and right by those around him . 
gerard depardieu , another talented actor , is wasted when given little more than the utterances of "" yes , my lord "" and "" no , my lord "" in the role of reynaldo . 
richard attenborough has a ( literally ) walk-on role , showing up at the eleventh hour as the english ambassador . 
i think he had two lines . 
then there is rufus sewell as fortinbras of norway . 
when i went to see dangerous beauty earlier this year , two ladies behind me kept commenting about how handsome he was . 
if bulging eyes are your idea of handsome , well i guess comic actor marty feldman was some kind of sex symbol to you . 
hamlet is a complicated tale of treachery and revenge in which triumph and defeat become one . 
branagh attempts to help us out with some of the intricacies by visually representing some of the more elusive stretches of dialogue by presenting them as flashback-type images . 
this only works about half the time , and i wonder if it would have been just as well to do without them . 
you don't have to be some kind of genius to appreciate shakespeare , but it is quite difficult to understand unless you have the time to read or hear it carefully and repeatedly . 
the alternate method of comprehension is that with which most of us are familiar , the high school english course . 
in it , you are hopefully fortunate enough to have an educator willing to help you with the plot points and nuances essential to understanding a play written in the rigmarole known as the king's english . 
or i suppose you could just read the cliff notes . 
"
"1","the year is 1962 and the military is conducting nuclear testings . 
involved in these tests is hank marshall ( jones ) , an army colonel who is critical of the above-ground tests that are being done . 
he urges below-ground tests which no one will consider at the time until it is learned that the soviets have conducted underground tests of their own . 
marshall is also troubled by a turbulent marriage to carly ( lange ) who is topless on the base's beach in full view of the entire personnel . 
hank's reaction is one of amusement . 
he's been here before and he deals with it in the only way he knows how . 
the problem is carly is a manic-depressive and when she isn't flirting with any man who happens to be near her , she's fantasizing about a fictious world where she'd rather be . 
typical of the mental illness , she also is promiscuous and foul-tempered . 
the mood swings are quick and violent and the torment she puts her husband and their two daughters is considerable . 
from hank's reports which state his opposition to the army's methods of testing , he is transferred from hawaii to alabama . 
carly patterns herself after movie stars and tries to become marilyn monroe , bleach-blond and all . 
the new home in alabama is pretty run-down and depressing and sets carly off on a violent tantrum . 
after meeting his new commanding officer ( booth ) , hank sees an all too familiar pattern begin to repeat . 
carly openly flirts with the co . hank tries to deal with the situation , but his only resort is to carry her off and throw her into a nearby pool . 
arguments ensue . 
the family becomes even more alienated . 
the co is very interested in pursuing an encounter with carly and sends hank off to observe an underground test which causes the irradiation of two local ranchers , much to the vocal objections of hank , who spots them but is unable to cancel the detonation of the bomb . 
back at home , the two girls try to hold things together but they wonder why their father can't deal with their mother's problems . 
one daughter says , "" he's blind and she's crazy . "" 
the other answers , "" they're perfect for each other . "" 
it reaches the breaking point when the older girl ( locane ) and a boy , the co's son ( o'donnell ) see her mother and the co making love in an abandoned shed . 
she forces her mother to tell hank and get it all out into the open . 
hank returns home and finds his wife in the middle of a musical put on by the military wives , including the co's wife ( snodgress ) . 
he confronts the c . o . 
but not about carly . 
he is upset over the coverup surrounding the accident during the testing . 
a fight breaks out between the two when the co accuses hank of not being able to satisfy his wife . 
hank is arrested . 
what follows is manipulation and revenge on the part of the co . he convinces carly to commit hank to a hospital for observation . 
instead , they fill him with so many drugs that he can barely cope . 
he foams at the mouth and cannot even finish sewing a leather wallet as presents for his daughters . 
carly is determined to free her husband from the clutches of the army and succeeds in doing so only by being the strong one in the family for the first time . 
the film has an upbeat ending with hope that the family has found a way to deal with its problems . 
the performances are solid throughout . 
jones is sympathetic and loving and is most effective in those quiet moments when he tries to deal with his wife's rage . 
he comforts her and offers protection . 
lange gives a strong and spirited portrayal of a woman on the edge who draws up the courage to try and put things right for her family . 
amy locane is very good as she fights to keep her family together while struggling with her own doubts as to whether she even should . 
blue sky is based on the story of the stagner family . 
the screenplay was written by rama laurie stagner ( with arlene sarner and jerry leichtling ) . 
the film marks the final work of tony richardson who died shortly after its completion in 1991 . 
he had made such classics as look back in anger ( 1958 ) and tom jones ( 1963 ) . 
orion pictures underwent bankruptcy and caused the film to sit on a shelf for three years . 
the film joins an alread promising fall line-up of films and is well worth catching for the performances alone . 
"
"1","the happy bastard's 30-second review : 
american pie 
the summer of raunch continues to spread into theatres with this latest yuk fest , filled with sick jokes and teen dialogue aplenty . 
if you go expecting dawson's creek , you're in for a problem . 
if your expectations are lower ( and better , i might add ) , you will enjoy the hell out of american pie . 
the movie casts several unknowns , with the only real recognizable one being sctv's own eugene levy as a happy-go-lucky dad . 
the story revolves around four high school seniors who have one goal before the school year gets out- get laid . 
that's pretty much it . 
throughout the movie , little sick comic bits are sprinkled throughout , including a memorable scene involving an apple pie ( i won't give it away , but you probably know what it is ) and an internet broadcast gone horribly awry . 
of course , the movie has some slightly sentimental bits , but they don't drag the movie's humor content down that bad . 
most of the actors get their job done , but it's levy who's a hoot , a father who tries to talk sex with his son with the help of some curious "" visual aids "" . 
i couldn't stop laughing during this movie , and if you can stand all the raunch and the sex references , then american pie is for you . 
if you're one of those "" conservative "" types , well , i'll bet you're having fun at home while this , south park , and austin powers ii plays in theatres , now aren't you ? 
"
"1","_in brief : _ this film needs no introduction . 
if you haven't heard of it , then you must have been up in space on a sabbatical , and if you haven't seen it -- well , i suspect you're in a small minority ! 
first thing's first ? is it all it's hyped up to be ? 
well , yes ? and no . 
it's a good film , and there's a lot to like about it , but it's not without its problems . 
when i saw the first trailer for "" titanic "" , it was when i went to see "" bean "" last summer , i think , my intial reaction was -- ain't that downright sick to make a disaster movie out of such a dreadful , real-life tragedy ? ! 
i mean , what's happened to hollywood's script-writers , have they run entirely out of new ideas ? 
gads , whatever next , i asked myself , how about an action film based on hiroshima starring jean claude van damme ? 
i was not entirely filled with anticipation , but then i wasn't alone in that respect . 
it's when it came out in the cinema , to rave reviews ( well , mostly ) and anyone who'd been to see it seemed disturbingly obsessed by it that i started to take notice ! 
i didn't see the film until several months after its release ( by which time my sister had seen it about four times ! ) , 
so i went with a slightly more open mind , but i still didn't think i'd enjoy it much . 
did i ? yes and no . 
mainly yes , i'm happy to say . 
the first hour or so was beautifully done , not so much because of the scripting ( i'll talk about that later ? ) but because the re-created ship and sets were stunning to look at , as was cameron's directing , and the performances of the principal cast were so strong that the "" human "" aspect of the story , the romance between rose ( kate winslet ) and jack ( leonardo dicaprio ) , was enchanting . 
the film is told via flashback , with gloria stuart playing the elderly rose in the modern day ( you knew that , a' course ! 
 : - ) ) . 
well , it's an often effective device to use in storytelling -- though sometimes it can fall flat . 
does it work here ? 
in script form it doesn't add all that much to the story . 
what does add a lot to the story is gloria stuart , whose stunning performance is the strongest , most moving of the film . 
her presence brings a much deeper level of passion , and depth to the story , and though her appearances are relatively brief , the film would have suffered without her . 
also impressive are dicaprio and winslet , who wholly succeed in rising above the often poor dialogue , and the bond they form is both heartfelt and moving . 
it's an old story , you know -- forbidden love ala romeo and juliet -- but it works , and jack's "" rescuing "" rose ( in both literal and figurative senses ) and teaching her to live life for what counts was pointed and touching . 
in fact , i enjoyed the first half of the film a lot , largely because winslet and dicaprio bring such and charm , energy to the romance . 
it's engaging , touching and very enjoyable . 
there's more than a tinge of poignancy to it as well , simply because you know it's not going to be a happy ending . 
which leads us to the second half of the film . 
we all knew it was coming . 
i'm sure director cameron was looking forward with eager anticipation to it , because as he's stated in interviews , the real thrust of the story ( for him ) was the sinking , and the jack/rose romance was a merely a manipulative plot device to get you emotionally into the film . 
i think that understates the importance of the romance , as i found it far more enjoyable than an hour of watching people die . 
the iceberg arrives , and the captain announces that titanic will have sunk in about an hour . 
and it is an hour . 
my goodness , we don't miss a second of that hour ? 
gratuitous ? well , perhaps not by today's standards , i'm sure there's been far worse produced under the banner of "" entertainment "" in other films . 
but i certainly wasn't prepared for how shocking and graphic the last hour or so would be . 
not that i'd expect the word "" understatement "" to be part of cameron's vocabulary ( he who brought us such , umm , vivid films as "" terminator 2 "" and "" aliens "" ) . 
is it overdone ? 
i thought so . 
understatement can sometimes work wonders in conveying tragedy . 
no , no one expected a happy ending , but i didn't quite expect the horrendously shocking and powerful scenes we were bombarded throughout the film's second half . 
still , whether it was overdone and heavy-handed or not , if it was the shock-factor cameron was after it worked , because i was shocked and moved , in fact i spent most of the last hour in tears ! 
you really couldn't help but get emotionally involved , whether it was wishing someone would knock that dreadfully psychotic fiance of rose's overboard or desperately hoping that rose would rescue jack , or that jack would rescue rose , or that they would both survive . 
perhaps the most harrowing scene was when the ship has sunk , and those that sunk along with the ship freeze to death on the water surface . 
the bit where rose lets go of jack's hand , while promising she'll never let go in her heart was particularly heart-wrenching , and the sight of rescue boats sailing amid the ocean of corpses was a pretty powerful image , to put no fine a point on it . 
i loved the ending , however , which was both moving and slightly uplifting following the horror of the past hour and a half . 
so , we've established that the film is powerful and moving , if the last hour was rather excessive . 
haven't mentioned the script . 
plot-wise it's ok , though the jack/rose relationship was beautifully developed , but i've a feeling that's to the actors credit if anything . 
as for the dialogue ? well , titanic is set in 1912 . 
it's a period drama . 
but i saw very little indication of period in so far as the dialogue is concerned . 
did they really use phrases like "" goddamn it ! "" 
back in the turn of the century ? 
i doubt it . 
would someone talk like this : "" do ya love the guy or what ? "" . 
i doubt it . 
is such dialogue as "" i saw the iceberg , and i see it in your eyes now "" not just a bit ? clumsy ? 
yes it is . 
a little more attention to dialogue would not have gone astray , and cameron himself is to blame ( he wrote the script ) . 
stick with directing , dude . 
but its more than redeemed by the acting , with dicaprio and winslet on fine form , ably supported by a strong cast . 
star of the show was gloria stuart , though -- why didn't she win that oscar ? ! 
after all , they were throwing oscars at "" titanic "" left , right and centre , but gloria was perhaps the most deserving nominee . 
directing-wise cameron does a spectacular job . 
like i said , his vision was a bit excessive , but at least he directed it well . 
i haven't even mentioned james horner's beautiful score . 
utterly heavenly , though when your dad and sister play the soundtrack a lot you do start to get a bit bored with it ! 
 ; - ) 
i've finished my rant , which lasted a lot longer than i thought it would ! 
just leaves a couple of questions ; was it worth all those oscars ? 
hell , don't talk to me about oscars . 
bloomin' farce . 
it was deserving in a number of departments , though . 
last question ; is it , as some suggest , one of the best films of all-time ? 
nope , i don't think so . 
it's certainly one of the most powerful and memorable films i've ever seen , but i don't think it quite ranks as one of my all-time favourites . 
and as for the fact they're reportedly making a "" titanic 2 "" ? well i guess that's typical hollywood for you ! 
"
"1","in some respects , rush hour is the ultimate exercise in cliched filmmaking . 
the hero is the renegade cop that prefers to work alone . 
the cop in question cannot solve the case until he gets in trouble . 
all chinese people are somehow involved in the criminal element . 
the duo must always be completely mismatched . 
the hero has to say some smart-assed comment before ( and after ) shooting someone . 
however , that doesn't necessarily make for a bad film . 
rush hour is jackie chan's first major hollywood film since the dismal the protector ( 1985 ) . 
proving once again that hollywood can learn many things from foreign film markets ( ie : hong kong ) , jackie chan is given much more free reign than before . 
still , some die-hard jackie chan fans may be disappointed , as even chan himself has voiced displeasure over the length of the fight scenes ( which he views as too short , according to one interview ) . 
this film takes a familiar theme of east meets west . 
jackie chan is lee , the straight laced inspector who is imported to help deal with a kidnapping case , while chris tucker is carter , the loudmouthed , destructive cop that is `promoted' to the fbi to help him . 
or , at least , so he thinks ( also another classic notion in action films : the fbi must always get in the way of our heroes ) . 
despite the necessary conventions of action films , rush hour is some of the most fun you'll spend and hour and forty minutes watching . 
jackie chan continues to be one of the most exciting martial artists on the big screen , continuing to perform his own stunts and dazzling audiences with his flashy kicks and punches . 
chris tucker , familiar from his whiny , annoying role in the fifth element is more palatable , complementing jackie chan's straight-laced character . 
however , jackie chan still maintains his comic-slapstick edge , as expected of him and his films . 
perfectly downplaying the `fish-out-of-water' routine through his character's attempts at mixing into american culture , he makes up for the down time his character experiences . 
when he is in action , however , you'll be amused and dazzled . 
still being inventive in the use of objects to beat people up ( in this case , a steering wheel , a serving tray , and a barstool ) , jackie chan proves to be the pioneer of slapstick kung fu . 
chris tucker's character may come across as irritating , yet is also humorous . 
since he's not a physical actor to the level of jackie chan , he uses his main weapon : his mouth ( hence , the tagline , `fastest hands in the east meets the fastest mouth in the west' ) . 
while dialogue is not necessarily shakespeare , it is appropriate for the film and still very funny . 
while not necessarily poignant , attempts at character development and growth between characters come off surprisingly well . 
lee's `knowledge' of american pop culture ( `that's the beach boys ! ' ) 
when contrasted against carter's lack of knowledge of chinese culture makes for an interesting scene where lee teaches carter the kung fu disarming trick , while carter teaches lee hip-hop dance moves . 
while rush hour is not at the same level as police story 3 and 4 ( known in north america as supercop and jackie chan's first strike , respectively ) , it more than makes up for the poorly received films operation condor and mr . nice guy . 
with its appropriate mixture of high kicks and lots of laughs , it makes for a fun film . 
as well , it is a true departure from jackie chan films , as it is missing one common element : a whiny female co-star . 
"
"1","my fellow americans is a movie that at first glance looks to have little substance ( or a movie that we've all seen a million times ) , two lifetime rivals thrown together and then the fun begins . 
this is exactly what happened in this movie , but fortunately , they managed to do it in an interesting and funny way . 
the movie starts with a quick ( and i do mean quick ) glance of two presidents russell kramer ( jack lemmon ) and matt douglas ( james garner ) . 
william haney ( dan aykroyd ) and ted matthews ( john heard ) are the new president and vice president . 
there is a scandal that arises involving a kickback from a contractor and haney is positive that he buried that years ago . 
he finds a scapegoat in kramer and now everyone wants kramer and douglas dead . 
this movie was exceptional for many reasons . 
one being that they found people ( lemmon and garner ) that have good chemisty together . 
they worked very well as a unit and they mirrored each other perfectly , one being a ladies man and one being the old man ( i'll let you fiqure which is which ) . 
also , they found people that know their parts as govenment officials well . 
it seemed to me that garner played almost exactly the same role that he played in the distinquished gentleman ( except then he was a congressman ) . 
experience counts for a lot ! ! 
"
"1","in , "" the muse "" albert brooks plays steven phillips , a hollywood screenwriter who after winning a humanitarian award for his work is dumped by his studio . 
they claim that he's lost his edge and his agent is quick to agree with them . 
he knows that he needs to write something fresh and original and quick or else his career will be over . 
so he turns to his "" best "" friend , jack ( jeff bridges ) another screenwriter who's enjoyed success after success . 
on the way over to jack's house steven sees jack helping an attractive woman ( sharon stone ) into a cab and begins to think : is he having an affair ? 
when confronted , jack relunctently tells him that this mystery woman is , in fact , a muse , a mythological figure who is believed to have inspired all creativity , and has helped him garner his success . 
 "" she doesn't do any actual writing , "" he is told , "" but inspires you . "" 
steven is excited by what he's hearing and asks jack to call her up to see if she'll take steven on as a new client . 
jack arranges a meeting between the two and suggests that steven bring her a present , preferably something from tiffany's . 
after the meeting the muse , sarah decides to take on steven , but at a price : she wants a suite at the four seasons and wants steven to perform odd tasks for her ( like bringing her salads in the middle of the night . ) 
steven's wife ( andy macdowell ) sees him at a food store and questions him about why he has tampons in his wagon . 
steven confesses everything and , although at first suspicious , she later allows sarah to move into their guest room and eventually into their life . 
the only question for steven is if the muse is worth all the trouble he's going through for her . 
and that's a question only time will tell . 
 "" the muse "" is albert brooks' sixth film as writer/director/actor ( he co-wrote with monica johnson ) and although it's a good movie it's not up to the level of his best works ( "" defending your life "" and "" mother "" ) . 
the problem lies in the script , and for a movie that relies on its dialogue for its humor , there aren't nearly as many laughs as they are chuckles despite a few good one-liners . 
it has a great premise but doesn't deliver up to it's full potential . 
but , i like albert brooks in this film and i think that we can all identify with steven phillips a little bit . 
he may whine and complain , but he just wants to support his family and be happy . 
and i like sharon stone in this movie too ; it's a nice change of pace for her . 
and i also enjoyed the cameos featuring the likes of rob reiner , james cameron and martin scorsese . 
and although "" the muse "" doesn't have as much to say about hollywood as robert altman's "" the player "" i still left the theater feeling good . 
and that's something i wish i got out of more movies . 
"
"1","plot : good ol' texan kid suddenly gets to play first-string quarterback on his high school team's football team , in a town where football is considered religion . 
the coach is just about the biggest a-hole you'd ever want to meet , who will do practically anything to win . 
the good ol' texan boy does not approve of said man's methods . 
critique : a fun football movie . 
this film was obviously geared towards the teen market , with mtv behind its production , a big tv star actor in the lead role , rockin' hip music galore , and plenty of t&a . 
having said that , i enjoyed the look and feel of the movie , thought james van der beek gave a solid performance , loved the slick sounds , and yup , loved that t&a ! 
i actually thought this was a comedy going in , but overall , it plays more towards the dramatic , than a comedy . 
i also enjoyed jon voight's performance as the stubborn dick coach , as well as many of the other character players on the team . 
this is not a classic film by any stretch of the imagination , but it might teach some kids the hard lessons behind the "" fun "" game of football , or just allow them to have a good time for about an hour and forty-five minutes in the movie theatre ( or in the comfort of their own home , depending on where you watch this stuff . ) 
all in all , i would definitely watch this movie if you like football , play football or want your kid to succeed in high school football . 
you could also watch it if you like teen flicks with a lot of cute guys and girls running around doing their stuff . 
and did i mention the t&a ? 
 : ) 
little known facts about this film and its stars : james van der beek actually started acting after a concussion stopped him from playing football in real life . 
he is the oldest of three children , and his father is a cellular phone salesman while his mom runs a gymnastics studio . 
he's born in connecticut and received $200 , 000 for his role in this film . 
actor scott caan , who plays football player "" tweeder "" in this film , is the son of famed actor james caan in real life . 
that's right , he's sonny's son ! 
actress amy smart , who plays van der beek's girlfriend in this movie , also played the main star's girl in the 1999 film outside providence ( 6 . 5/10 ) . 
screenwriter w . peter iliff also had a part in writing the screenplays for the 1992 harrison ford film , patriot games , and the keanu reeves surfing flick , point break . 
director brian robbins might be best remembered as the "" cool dude "" from the tv series "" head of the class "" . 
his name was eric mandrian and he generally wore a long , black trench coat on the show . 
the book mox ( james van der beek ) is reading on the sidelines in this movie , hidden inside the team's playbook , is "" slaughterhouse-five "" by kurt vonnegut , jr . the high school fight song played at the pep rally is the texas a&m war hymn . 
"
"1","the film starts out with a creepy opening sequence to which has the now classic and creepy score by writer/director/producer john carpenter who in my mind is a brilliant director , he really is . 
he wrote this film , he directed this film , he produced this film and he made the excessively creepy score to this film . 
i think he is and always will be famous for this classic which after 21 years has not lost it's popularity or it's ability to scare the wits out of people . 
i think i have seen 'halloween' over 100 times and each time i find something new and brilliant , and each time i am scared even though i know what is going to happen . 
i own three different versions of the film : a vhs regular version that came with a limited edition 20th anniversary t-shirt , a boxed edition vhs in a hardcover case digitally re-mastered with the original theatrical widescreen presentation , in a nifty plastic picture decorated box with a numbered snow-globe . 
in other words i am completely and utterly obsessed with the film . 
it has changed horror movies forever and spawned six sequels with only 2 , 4 , and 7 being truly good . 
it also spawned several cheap imitations of the film that were offensive in some ways to a true halloween fan . 
since i heard about halloween being released on dvd in a limited edition of 30 , 000 copies , i knew i had to buy one no matter what ! 
i did and man to me it's the best dvd ever manufactured with the brilliance of the film . 
no words can describe the dvd . 
in 'halloween' michael myers is a evil person whom killed his sister in cold blood 16 years ago in 1963 . 
now in 1978 grown up and in a mental hospital michael myers escapes to go back to his hometown of haddonfield , illinois , followed by his past doctor sam loomis . 
the person michael is targeting is laurie strode who is played by jamie lee curtis in her film debut . 
why is he stalking her ? 
check out halloween ii it explains it all . 
on this unholy night on october 31 , 1978 laurie strode and her two friends are going to have the time of their lives , which is trying to stay alive . 
the whole film is filled with terrifying moments most coming from just seeing michael myers walk . 
nick castle who played the shape in the first movie did an incredible job , and no other person in any other halloween flick can do what he did . 
what john carpenter did in 1978 is made a ground-breaking new film , with scares , wit , and style . 
the movie is flawless if not perfect . 
no other movie or sequel has lived up to this one , and in my opinion never will . 
'halloween' will be like 'psycho' and still be extremely popular even almost 40 years later . 
i just hope someday 'halloween' will be released in a new dolby soundtrack with the 4 extra scenes on the dvd edition . 
'halloween' isn't just another slice-and-dice horror flick , it's an intelligent , horrifying and best film experience ever made . 
see 'halloween' and be scared . . . . then 
watch it again ! 
reviewed by brandon herring october 7 , 1999 . 
"
"1","i have to admit that i disliked this film initially . 
it certianly isn't for every taste , and it's sheer torture to sit through if you're in a restless mood . 
that said , if you are in the right mood , it's absolutely incredible . 
this was my second favorite movie of 1998 , and would have been a shoo-in for first in almost any other year . 
perhaps the big turn-off for many was this film's unconventionality . 
i'd be hard-pressed to compare it to any other film that i've seen - it is very , very artsy , incredibly slow - and amazingly , it works beautifully . 
on my second viewing , i realized that the film follows the three act structure ( i didn't think it had any sort of structure at all when i first saw it ) . 
the first act serves to set up the characters - sort of . 
it exists even moreso to set a mood of tension and restlesness , and perhaps even feelings of boredom . 
and then it is shattered by the intense violence of the second ( which encompasses most of the movie ) . 
the majority of the film is one extended battle scene , intercut with brief flashbacks and voice-overs . 
the artsier elements do not detract from the action , but add to it - they succeed in briefly letting the viewer peek into the minds of the soldiers , only to be suddenly yanked back into reality when the battle resumes . 
the battle scenes are amazing ( second only to "" saving private ryan "" in my opinion ) . 
they're brutal , horrifying , and at times beautiful due to the amazing cinematography . 
the second act is as immersive , brilliant , and haunting as any film that i have ever seen . 
the only problems come during the first and third acts . 
malick takes a little too long to get the film started . 
although the initial scenes - which consist of two soldiers' experiencing a near-eden-like paradise while going awol , and the preperations for battle - are effective and necessary , hints of pretentiousness sink in . 
the film is just a tad too artsy near the beginning , and a lot of people that disliked the movie probably gave up on it because of this . 
the final act is effective at winding the film down , but the problems from the first persist - it's a bit too long , and comes over as pretentious at times . 
that said , there are two sequences ( one where a soldier gets a devastating note from his wife , and another where one of the main characters is killed ) that are nothing short of incredible . 
the performances are phenominal all around . 
the two standouts are nick nolte and newcomer jim caviezel , both of whom should have been nominated for oscars . 
nolte is riveting and intense as the colonel in charge of the operation . 
his character is hard , mean , and somewhat reckless with the lives of his men , and yet nolte somehow manages to evoke sympathy for him . 
caviezel is forever questioning the nature of war , his place in it , and if there's any deeper meaning to the hell that he's going through . 
he is absolutely perfect - genuine , sympathetic , sincere , and yet strong when he needs to be . 
although restricted to a relatively small role , sean penn is also very good as the company's pessimistic seargent . 
as to how it stacks up to "" saving private ryan "" - it was my second favorite movie of 1998 , "" ryan "" was my first . 
it's really hard to compare the two - they are so , so different - so i won't , beyond saying that spielberg's film had more of an impact on me . 
however , the two are comparable from the standpoint of quality ( i can easily see why someone would "" the thin red line "" above "" ryan ) . 
i highly recommend both of them , and consider them to be the two best war movies ever made . 
all in all , "" the thin red line "" is filmmaking of an incredibly high order . 
it's slight faults are easily offset by the sheer brilliance of what is done right . 
it's a real shame that it tanked at the box office - films this unconventional , powerful , and thought-provoking don't come along very often . 
"
"1","it was a rainy friday afternoon in columbus when i persuaded a friend to see a matinee performance of mst3k : tm . 
he had never seen any episodes of the show , and i have watched a scant few , due to its unsocial airtime on comedy central and the uneven nature of many of the episodes . 
for those of you not familiar with the premise , dr clayton forrester ( beaulieu ) wishes to take over the world by finding the worst film ever made and unleashing it upon an unsuspecting public . 
to achieve this , he ( in the words of the tv series' theme , which is missing in the movie ) "" bumped [mike nelson ( nelson ) ] on the noggin and then shot him into space "" , and is monitoring nelson's reactions to the movies he is forced to endure . 
rather than succumb to the sheer awfulness of many of the movies , nelson spends his time making wisecracks with the help of his two robot companions , tom servo and crow t . robot . 
the format of the show consists of nelson , servo and crow making their comments while silhouetted against the movie being watched , and breaks every 20 minutes or so for segments set on the satellite of love , the ship on which our heroes are marooned . 
only two things are different in the movie : the absence of forrester's sidekick , tv's frank , and the slower pace of the jokes . 
this latter change is presumably deliberate to avoid the viewing audience missing some of the best lines while laughing from the previous joke . 
for their big screen outing , the producers have chosen "" this island earth "" , a 1954 classic , and one of the first sf films to have a special effects budget larger than the average grocery bill . 
unfortunately for that film ( but making it ideal mst3k fodder ) , acting and dialogue appear to have taken a back seat to the effects which , by today's standards , are less than impressive . 
nelson & co . make jokes about everything from japan's dominance in the world market , to star trek , to the state of disrepair of seattle's kingdome , and most of them work . 
unfortunately , the segments set outside the satellite's movie theater seem out of place and aren't particularly funny , but at least they're fairly short . 
the big question about this movie though is : why ? 
i presume it was an attempt to gain a larger following to keep support behind the series ( rumours of its impending demise circulated for some time before the plug was eventually pulled a few months ago ) , but the format gains nothing from its transition to the big screen -- there are no special effects to dazzle you , no action sequences to keep you on the edge of your seat , and no use of digital surround sound . 
so , it seems pointless to spend $8 per person to see this movie when in a few months it will be out on video and you can watch it for $3 , and not have to sit in a room full of popcorn addicts . 
nevertheless , mst3k : tm provides more laugh-out-loud opportunities than any film you're going to see this year , and i thoroughly recommend it to anyone with a pulse . 
given its uniqueness , i hesitate to grade it against other films , but it fulfils its claims and so in the class of "" unsubtle comedy films whose laughs come at the expense of bad b-movies "" it does well . 
"
"1","the uncompromising nudity bared throughout petrice chereau's intimacy has already garnered much notoriety , but it's in the naked faces of fearless actors mark rylance ( angels & insects ) and kerry fox ( welcome to sarajevo ) that the tender ache of emotional resonance is discovered . 
with sharp , intelligent eyes that reflect experience and maturity , rylance and fox are refreshingly detached from the false glamour of hollywood idols . 
their sex scenes together are bracing in their raw honesty , in the acceptance of flesh and messiness . 
less apparent , but no less remarkable , are the astute observations of behavior revealed through those carnal beats of haste and hesitance , often without a single line of dialogue . 
not aiming for the spiritual poetry of in the realm of the senses or the philosophical transgressions of crash , chereau keeps his sexual odyssey firmly grounded in terms of straightforward character development . 
that may be the very reason why intimacy seems unerringly impressive but never particularly significant on more than a tactile , sensory level . 
the themes of human isolation are barren and obvious , a science project devoid of any especially groundbreaking hypothesis . 
intimacy does manage to stand out from lesser portraits of "" human interconnectedness "" and pinter-esque rummages through psychological dirty drawers ( okay , kill me ) . 
shallow though it might sound , it's amazing how much is filled in through an inspired cast , perceptive camerawork , and imaginative ways of treating the love scene . 
those ingredients are too assured and confident to merely dismiss as icing on the cake , especially since they are the substance of the cake itself . 
adapted from a pair of short stories by british novelist hanif kureishi , intimacy weaves desperate lovemaking between two strangers in london . 
every wednesday , jay ( rylance ) and claire ( fox ) meet in his cluttered , dank apartment for an hour or two of sexual release from their uninspired lives . 
he's been head bartender at a posh restaurant for over six years . 
she's a mystery to him but her glum workaday appearance reveals a similar dissatisfaction . 
they're both married , but his relationship has curdled into an embittered separation . 
as the weeks draw on , jay obsessively takes it upon himself to uncover claire's personal routines . 
in his attempt to gain a fuller semblance of who she is , he opens wounds that hadn't existed before by single-handedly corrupting the fantasy . 
if it weren't for a few unnecessary subplots involving jay's brother and his bevy of disgruntled co-workers , this minimalist premise might be described as a modern fable on the perils of wish fulfillment . 
chareau's restless camera ( once again wielded by superb and ever-attentive cinematographer eric gautier ) is less appropriate here than in his family transit-oriented those who love me can take the train . 
the scenes that linger are the still ones where rylance and fox separately , pensively attempt to carry on with their makeshift household routines . 
these are often captured in lingering , unblinking wide shots that view them stranded amidst their drab workplaces and homes . 
separation proves haunting in a melancholy series of intercut shots as rylance and fox undress on opposite sides of the room , crawling across the floor to meet in the center . 
despite being as restless as a fly during the hyperactive restaurant scenes ( all the better to blend in with a hustling crowd of gabby trendsetters ) , you'd be hard pressed to find a single uninteresting image . 
intimacy takes an interest in its sordid world of the lower-middle class , with lonely pubs and busy shopping streets -- it also understands the people who inhabit those spaces , viewing them with sympathy scraped raw . 
an evaluation would be incomplete without highlighting the great timothy spall ( the robust scene-stealer of many a mike leigh collaboration ) . 
as claire's cuckolded husband , this jocular heavyweight plays out his handful of bitter pill scenes with the unforced menace and self-effacing embarrassment of his imposing bulk . 
bangs in his eyes , his mouth forming into quizzical pouts and dry smirks , he may seem the fool in his barroom encounters opposite a sarcastic , gleaming mark rylance ( whose jay has arrived on the scene looking to stir up some trouble ) , but spall is no one to trifle with . 
his overreaching best pal demeanor suggests a mind abuzz with secret passageways of guile , his pointed questions only na ? ve if you choose not to read into their crafty insinuations . 
in his unassuming way , spall's carefully etched interpretation of hostility buried under a mountain of surface propriety may become one of the most criminally underappreciated performances of the year , but maybe also one of the best . 
he's that good . 
"
"1","george little ( jonathan lipnicki ) wants a little brother . 
after mr . and mrs . little ( hugh laurie and geena davis ) visit the orphange , they decide to adopt stuart , a talking mouse ( voiced by michael j . fox ) . 
george isn't so fond of his new brother when stuart arrives at the little house , and neither is snowbell the family cat ( voiced by nathan lane ) . 
george and stuart eventually bond while preparing for a remote control boat race , but snowbell wants stuart out of the house ( he's unable to live with the taunts of other neighborhood felines saying it's ridiculous that a mouse has a pet cat ) . 
stuart little is a mix of live action and computer generated imagery ( cgi ) . 
the character of stuart , while obviously a computer generated image , grows on you as the film progresses and you'll soon see him as much more than a mere special effect . 
there is also a great deal of animal training involved with this film , as many of the "" supporting cast "" are actual cats ( with computer animated mouths so they can speak ) . 
it's fascinating to watch these cats give performances without an actual mouse to interact with . 
stuart little is a charming family film . 
there are some great laughs in the movie ( with a script co-written by the sixth sense's m . night shyamalan no less ! ) , 
some moments that can only be described as "" too cute "" ( the boat race sequence is what won me over ) and even the majority of the one-liners ( common nowadays in children's films or films featuring nathan lane ) are tolerable . 
kids and parents will love this one . 
stuart little is available on dvd from columbia tristar home video . 
there are two different dvds on sale : one contains the film in full frame , and the other presents the film in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1 . 66 : 1 . 
both versions feature choices of either dolby surround or dolby digital 5 . 1 audio . 
both versions also contain the following extras ( and hang in there with me here . . . there's a lot of them ) : a full length audio commentary track by director rob minkoff and animation supervisor henry anderson , a full length audio commentary track by the visual effects supervisors , an isolated score track , an interactive trivia game , an interactive featurette that goes step by step through eight of the effects in the film , a making of documentary that originally aried on hbo , and a stuart little read-along story ( which you can read yourself or have stuart read for you ) . 
there are also three music videos , and six theatrical trailers ( called thecatrical trailers . . . 
get it ? 
it's funny ! ) for stuart little and five other columbia tristar releases : the adventures of elmo in grouchland , madeline , the nuttiest nutcracker , muppets from space , and baby geniuses ( the only bad thing about this entire dvd . . . 
i did not want to be reminded of the awfulness that is baby geniuses ) . 
dvd-rom features are also on the disc , including web links and a demo of the stuart little cd-rom game . 
but wait . . . 
there's still more ! 
there's a section called "" basement treasures "" where you will find the auditions of the film's animators , six deleted scenes which you can select to view with or without commentary from the director , a visual effects gag reel , a production gag reel , and an incredible eight minute storyboard sequence detailing the original concept for the boat race scene ( with commentary from the director ) . 
the first commentary track features director rob minkoff and animation supervisor henry anderson . 
they give insightful and detailed thoughts about the film's production . 
minkoff likes to point out scenes where other screenwriters came in and polished up the script , namely writers like scott alexander and larry karaszewski ( who wrote the people vs . larry flynt and ed wood ) and lowell ganz and babaloo mandel ( who wrote splash and multiplicity , among others ) . 
anderson is very appreciative of the animators who worked with him and often points out which animator worked on each scene as they occur . 
the second commentary track features visual effects supervisors john dykstra and jerome chen who discuss more specific details of the effects in the film . 
movie fans will enjoy the informative first commentary track , serious animation buffs will love the second one . 
now i know this is slightly off topic , but it is related specifically to this dvd so i must voice this now . 
one of the music videos on the disc is for a song called "" i need to know "" by a group called r angels . 
this video features four mid-teenage girls ( the singers obviously ) having a slumber party . 
the girls ask a ouija board "" i need to know . . . 
who to do , who to do , who to do "" as the song begins . 
they then sneak out of their house , and along the way they strike a pose and their slumber party pajamas are magically transformed into middle class streetwalker outfits . 
then they head to a party and dance suggestively with the guys while singing lyrics like "" i'll be your pleasure all the time . . . 
just say the words that you'll be mine "" . 
um . . . 
what the hell ? 
what does this have to do with stuart little ? 
how is this in any way a song suitable for a kids movie , let alone a video suitable for a kids movie on dvd ? 
when the video concludes , the words "" to be continued "" appear . 
oh i can't wait to see who they've slept with when the toy story 2 dvd comes out . 
kids won't care about most of the special features on this dvd , but those of us who can sometimes be turned into a "" kid at heart "" thanks to a winning family film sure appreciate them . 
this is the way to do dvd , a good movie loaded with great features at a reasonable cost . 
the di$ney people could learn a lot from columbia tristar . 
"
"1","countries and legal systems that take the rule of law principle seriously , had forbidden judges and juries to make judgements in all matters that could involve them personally . 
luckily , movie reviewers aren't burdened with such legislation . 
otherwise , small pool of very special movies would be forever ignored by this reviewer . 
in case of star wars , 1977 science fiction epic by george lucas , the consequences would be even more severe , because that film is very special for tens of millions , if not hundreds of millions of fans . 
in any case , objectivity is something seldom seen in star wars reviews , because undisputed majority of reviewers rate it as one of the best , if not the best film of all times . 
those who don't usually have some difficulties in hiding their artistic snobbery . 
the author of this review must also concede his inability to use cold , objective standards in reviewing this film . 
like so many previous reviewers , i must note that i watched star wars for the first time twenty years ago , and that i remained enchanted by the experience ever since . 
perhaps it was childlike fascination with , until then unimaginable , wonders that happened long time ago , in a galaxy far away . 
or perhaps it was the rush i felt minutes before the opening shots , with my expectations already pumped up by serialised comic books and novelisation i had read before . 
anyway , watching of star wars was one of the most important movie going experiences of my life . 
and it was also unmatched for many years to come , because very few movies managed to have such a strong impact on me like george lucas' epic . 
star wars wasn't just important movie for me ( or the millions of fans who probably share the same sentiment ) . 
it was the defining moment in the history of modern cinema . 
until than , american motion picture industry was in a limbo ; social turmoil in 1960s practically destroyed the old hollywood , and new authors filled the void , mostly by using hollywood's financial and technical resources to create serious , "" personal "" or "" artsy "" movies . 
as a result , audience , traumatised of dark reality of vietnam and watergate , didn't want to see the same dark and serious content on the silver screen . 
george lucas with its science fiction epic was among the first to come into rescue . 
the audience responded with unprecedented enthusiasm , and huge financial success of the movie , later backed by supplement industry of toys , books , comics , role playing games and other merchandise , slowly began to change the face of hollywood . 
serious , adult movies with artistic ambitions faded into oblivion , and were replaced by industrial products of "" blockbuster "" philosophy . 
one of the biggest casualties of that trend was the science fiction movie genre . 
until 1977 , science fiction movies were mostly in b-production domain . 
in late 1960s , bigger budgets for science fiction didn't look so strange anymore , thanks to the great success of 2001 : a space odyssey . 
but the same success coincided with the surge of pesimism , and hollywood science fiction was as bleak as the rest of its production - mostly dark , dystopic movies . 
however , in 1977 star wars showed once and for all that this genre can be inspiration for popular movies , even among the audience that usually doesn't like it . 
as a result , seriousness in cinematic science fiction began fading away , although some good , dark and cult quality sf and continued to be filmed until early 1980s . 
after that , science fiction continued to be considered a synonym for family entertainment . 
ironically , the man responsible for star wars was in its time considered to be member of "" new hollywood "" generation of young movie authors who made "" artsy "" and "" personal "" films in early 1970s . 
george lucas established himself with the dystopic sf movie thx 1138 , and nostalgic drama american graffiti . 
both movies were considered "" personal "" in its time , despite latter one becoming very popular . 
in a sense , star wars is an also very "" personal "" film , and the thorny way to the final production shows that commercial considerations were against it , not for it . 
but unlike many "" personal "" movies of the era , its "" personality "" was in line with the wishes of the general audience . 
the plot , set "" a long time ago , in a galaxy far away "" , begins in a time of civil war . 
the evil empire is threatened by rebels who want to restore the old republic . 
in order to quash any opposition , the empire had built death star , superweapon powerful enough to destroy whole planets . 
the information about death star , acquired by rebel intelligence , is being transported by princess leia organa ( carrie fisher ) when her ship gets intercepted by imperial cruiser . 
princess is arrested by imperial warlord darth vader ( played by david prowse and voice by james earl jones ) , but the information is being sent to nearby desert planet of tatooine via two humanoid robots - c3po ( anthony daniels ) and r2d2 ( kenny baker ) . 
those two robots are sold to the family of luke skywalker ( mark hamill ) , young restless man who wants to leave his farm and become space pilot . 
his adventure begins when r2d2 escapes , because the information must reach mysterious local hermit obi wan kenobi ( alec guiness ) . 
old man is actually the last surviving jedi knight , member of the ancient order that defended republic through the use of mystical force . 
after some hesitation , luke agrees to join obi wan in his mission to save the princess , while the old man would teach him the ways of the force . 
their small band comes to the colourful spaceport of moss eisely , where they hire the spaceship owned by rogue pilot han solo ( harrison ford ) and his furry sidekick chewbacca ( peter mayhew ) . 
critics who don't like the movie , especially those who can't forgive lucas for his contribution to the quashing of "" new hollywood "" , are prone to point the lack of originality . 
on the surface , they might be right ; lucas himself admits that he found a lot of inspiration in the lore of old hollywood - westerns , wwii aviation movies , old sf cliffhanger serials of the 1930s and 1940s ; yet the most obvious element would be akira kurosawa's samurai classic the hidden fortress . 
on the other hand , those who had spent last two decades studying the movie to death would say that the inspiration for star wars went even further - into collective subconscious of western civilisation ( hinted by some mild tolkien references ) . 
the others would find the author's element within the story - star wars could be seen as an anti- establishment film ; young , long-haired , easy going , nature-loving heroes are fighting against old , uptight and oppressive forces who use supertechnology in most demonic purposes . 
even out of its historical or social context , star wars is an impressive as a strictly technical piece of the seven art . 
george lucas' direction is very good , with the clever editing and a well-paced segments between action and dramatic buildup . 
characters are well-drawn and deliver all the necessary ingredients , both for the space opera and hollywood blockbuster . 
we have a "" coming-of-age "" hero , damsel-in-distress ( somewhat toned down due to the popular feminist trends of the time ) , reluctant helper , benevolent mentor , diabolical villain and , finally , comic relief in form of two non-human characters . 
some of the actors are very good - alec guiness in his most famous role to date , james earl jones whose voice is enough to cause unease , peter cushing as an incarnation of pure evil in human form . 
unfortunately , the same can't be said for the main leads - among the main trio of mark hamill , carrie fisher and harrison ford , only the last one had the character three-dimensional enough to launch his further acting career . 
the thing that looked like the most important segment of star wars phenomena during its initial release was the new level of special effects technology . 
often comparisons with 2001 : space odyssey , another ground-breaking sf film , were citing the sheer number of effects as a proof of the lucas' superiority over kubrick . 
however , the special effects by john dykstra and john stears are indeed impressive , even after two decades ( although 1997 special edition did improve them significantly ) , yet they aren't the most remembered trademark of the movie . 
that honour should definitely go to the "" oscar "" -winning soundtrack by john williams , whose work on star wars is probably the brightest gem in his brilliant career . 
newer generations of viewers might be somewhat deprived of the enchantment that still holds those lucky enough to witness star wars original release . 
yet , even if they are immune to the george lucas' magic they should watch this film nevertheless , perhaps only to become familiar with something that is essential part of contemporary culture . 
"
"1","frequency n . , 
the number of times a specified phenomenon occurs within a specified interval as the number of repetitions of a complete sequence of values of a periodic function per unit variation of an independent variable ? etc 
don't worry . 
when watching the thriller frequency , you won't have to know what the heck frequency means . 
the premise , although it may sound complex , is very basic on the big screen . 
a new york cop , john , ( jim caviezel ) finds a radio in his house , which allows him to communicate with his new york firefighter father , frank , ( dennis quaid ) who died thirty years ago . 
immediately john warns his father that he will die trying to stop a fire in an abandoned warehouse . 
when frank takes his advice and survives the accident he wasn't supposed to , the two eventually realize that by changing that one moment in the past , they have created a whole new future in which a serial killer murders john's mother and nine other women . 
it is now up to john and frank to use their special connection and save thirty years ago to make present time a better place . 
 ( i told you that wasn't confusing ? ) . 
overall , i was very pleased with frequency . 
it's occasional sappy moments perfectly synchronized with its suspenseful serial killer scenes . 
i usually don't buy those cheesy "" i love you dad "" segments in movies , but this one surprisingly satisfied me . 
maybe because the plot is so creative and universal that i believed that this is how most people would act when talking to a dead relative . 
frequency's creepy premise left me thinking once the film ended , what if ? 
what would i do ? 
would i help my own family or save a historical figure from being assasinated ? 
or stop some kids from shooting other kids ? 
or buy stock from yahoo ! ? 
 ( a character in the film does the latter with humorous consequences ) . 
frequency also reminded me of the fantastic back to the future . 
both share that "" change the past slightly , and you'll change the future heavily "" warning . 
the changes between the present and the past , such as different newspaper headlines or people disappearing and reappearing in photographs , are very similar . 
both are also wonderful feel-good family films that can attract to a number of generations . 
the only difference worth noting is that frequency's final scene doesn't set up a possibility for a lucrative sequel already in the making . 
there are some problems with the film though . 
first , there is a major flaw in the story towards the end that is somewhat distracting ( email me if you have seen the movie and want to know what i think it is ) . 
the plot must have confused even the filmmakers who frequently ( no pun intended ) switch from 1969 to 1999 while telling the story . 
another problem is that the supporting cast , including noah emmerich and andre braugher , are underused . 
while in the film , which is not enough , the aforementioned actors steal every scene they are in . 
frequency was a pleasant surprise for me and the audience i saw it with who cheered at the end . 
even if you know what is going to happen or if you think the preview ruined the movie for you , like it almost did for me , check this movie out . 
you may be surprised as well . 
"
"1"," "" psycho meets the exorcist with no holds barred "" . 
a blurb like that sounds like desperate publicity for some low budget , third rate rip-off . 
but no , this tacky plug comes from the poster for suspiria , perhaps italian horror director dario argento's most consistently successful film . 
what impresses most in re-watching this surrealistic , supernatural thriller is that argento's directorial flair and stylish visuals are matched by a near-fully coherent narrative . 
screenplays have always been his achilles heel ; confusing subplots , gaping holes , totally illogical incidents and reactions . 
no question : argento has always been a better director than a writer . 
fortunately , he gets the plotting pretty well right with suspiria , taking his cue from a book by thomas de quincey called "" suspiria de profundis "" . 
the film's storyline suffers from no major lapses in logic , provided one can accept the premise of a ballet school being a front for a coven of witches . 
jessica harper plays an american who travels to germany to further her studies in dance . 
arriving at the school late at night in driving rain , she sees a girl leave and run into the storm in a clearly distressed state . 
what happens next - and i don't make the comparison lightly - is a murder sequence that for intensity , shock value and sheer directorial flair ranks alongside alfred hitchcock's infamous shower scene in psycho . 
it's quite possibly a homage to hitchcock , but with its baroque sets , graphic gore and brilliantly chaotic musical accompaniment by the gothic rock group goblin , this stunning sequence remains very much argento's own . 
though nothing else quite equals the intensity of suspiria's opening 15 minutes , the film continues to be never anything less than engrossing as harper begins her own investigations and slowly comes to realise this is no ordinary ballet school . 
we meet an assortment of slightly sinister characters , most notably the head ballet teacher played by alida valli in another one of those delicious sour-old-matriarch-from-hell roles she does so well . 
several more violent murders ensue , including a startling scene in a deserted square where a blind man is . . . well , i wouldn't want to spoil things now , would i ? and the film's climax , staged amid secret corridors and hidden rooms , has a gothic ghoulishness that's most impressive . 
the english language versions of most argento movies usually suffer trimming , and not just for the violence - deep red and phenomena , for example , have been appallingly hacked about . 
fortunately , the cuts to suspiria ( about 7 minutes in this version ) have not adversely affected the film . 
the dubbing of the italian actors into english is quite competently done , too , excepting one appalling and unintentionally hilarious effort with a conversation between harper and a professor about the history of witchcraft in the region . 
and the soundtrack ? 
it is interesting to imagine what power the film would have lost if it had been scored by someone else . 
as it stands , the use of goblin's music in suspiria is outstanding . 
apparently , argento played the soundtrack on location while filming so the actors could hear the music as they acted out their parts . 
a stereo video player adds greatly to the viewer's overall experience . 
even better , see suspiria in a cinema , where you'll get the added bonus of widescreen . 
and the colours ! 
deep reds , eerie blues , a superb use of shadow and contrast . 
the cinematography of luciano tovoli , whose more recent credits include reversal of fortune and single white female , is uniformly superb . 
a nod also must go to production designer giuseppe bassan for his wonderful baroque interiors . 
these kinds of settings are crucial to the atmosphere of argento's more surreal excursions , the other most notable example being inferno ( 1980 ) on which bassan also worked . 
suspiria is the film that broke dario argento into the major league of european directors , and it is fully deserving of its cult status . 
the gore is at times a little excessive and overstated - that's always been one of argento's shortcomings - but overall this is a fascinating , compelling example of italian horror . 
"
"1","jackie brown entered theaters with little fanfare and a lot of expectation . 
even though advance publicity on this one was fairly limited , the audiences waited for the showings with heightened anticipation . 
this is , after all , the first movie quentin tarantino has directed since the highly touted pulp fiction . 
to say he has been inactive in between would be to tell a falsehood , since he has been involved in such projects as destiny turns on the radio , desperado , four rooms , and from dusk 'til dawn . 
he was also called in at the last minute to help punch up the screenplay for crimson tide . 
 ( i'm willing to wager the debate over which silver surfer is the only true silver surfer was penned by him . ) 
tarantino contributed on and off screen to these films , but never took the director's helm . 
nearly four years since gaining notoriety on the hollywood scene and making john travolta a star once more , tarantino returns with a film he can call his own . 
the film opens up with an homage to the graduate , with jackie brown ( pam grier ) on one of those airport people movers as the credits are displayed in front of her . 
jackie is a flight attendant for air cabo , which flies back and fourth between los angeles and cabo san lucas . 
this makes jackie a convenient cash courier for gun dealer ordell robbi ( samuel l . jackson ) who is currently keeping his money stashed in mexico . 
however , while bringing fifty thousand dollars back into the u . s . for ordell , jackie is apprehended by fbi agent mark dargus ( michael bowen ) and atf agent ray nicolet ( michael keaton ) , who catch her not only with the money , but with a bonus of a couple of ounces of illicit drugs . 
jackie didn't know they were in the package with the cash , but that's of no consequence to the authorities , who threaten jackie with a couple of years hard time if convicted . 
of course , dargus and nicolet are just using the sentence to get jackie to turn over the big fish , ordell . 
ordell uses honest bail bondsman max cherry ( robert forster ) to get jackie out of jail , but while max is immediately attracted to her , jackie is more concerned about her immediate safety , since ordell killed the last one of his operatives who got picked up by the police . 
sure enough , ordell shows up at jackie's apartment that evening and tries to silence jackie for good , but she "" borrows "" max's pistol and manages to turn the tables on ordell . 
instead of closing the irony circle and relocating a bullet from the pistol's chamber to ordell's head , jackie proposes a deal . 
since ordell wants to get his money out of mexico , jackie will get back up to her old tricks and be a courier for him once more , but this time for a more substantial fee : fifteen percent of ordell's half million dollars . 
with a gun in his face , how can ordell not agree ? 
by itself , this premise might have been interesting enough to carry the film . 
however , we are also introduced to a number of double crosses which make us pay attention and think . 
jackie claims to be bringing the money in for ordell , but she's also making a deal with the feds as well as with max . 
the film throws us off every once in a while by leading us to believe the deal we thought was authentic is actually a sham , but it is in no way done to the extent that we feel jerked around . 
instead , it's actually a nice departure from the predictability which is prevalent in so many of today's movies . 
at least this film has a little imagination . 
most of the performances in jackie brown are above par . 
pam grier , of whom i had never taken notice before , plays jackie with a mix of confidence and vulnerability which makes her character believable . 
samuel l . jackson has a kind of mesmerizing quality about him as he handles himself in situations where you know he is in total control . 
robert forster is thoroughly likable because he comes across as such an honest guy , trying to do his best . . 
never mind that he belongs to a profession where sneaking into a guy's apartment to zap him with a stun gun is simply a matter of course . 
he's just so down-to-earth , the nature of his job really doesn't occur to us , even when we're shown him bringing a handcuffed woman to prison , or when we see the tools of his trade . 
in supporting roles are robert de niro as louis gara , a recently paroled friend of ordell's , and bridget fonda as melanie , one of the girls ordell keeps around town . 
unfortunately , de niro is basically wasted as his lines are few and far between , and then they are mostly clipped sentences . 
in this film , he's not really de niro , but stereotypical de niro , uttering things like , "" little bit , "" and "" pretty much . "" 
fonda , on the other hand , plays the slightly spaced-out melanie with satisfactory relish and cuteness , such that even when she is annoying louis , we are taking her side . 
as is characteristic of any film in which tarantino has had a hand , the dialog is quick and snappy . 
it grabs our attention and is actually interesting , and in many respects , this makes jackie brown a film which needs few visuals ; the lines are a form of art in and amongst themselves . 
don't count tarantino out when it comes to using the camera , however . 
there's a scene where max is unwittingly watching a dry run of a money exchange , and he's not really sure what's happening , but by composing the scene just so , his realization of what's going on is felt simultaneously by the audience . 
we look at the screen and think , "" gee , that's clever , "" and then think the same thing about how the film induced us into that wonderful feeling of catching on . 
although tarantino isn't afraid to drag out a shot for dramatic effect , it unfortunately works to varying degrees in this film . 
there are shots where a character is simply driving , and we watch this person and somehow get an idea of what is going on in his or her head . 
this is a tribute to both direction and acting . 
however , there is at least one other scene where we follow jackie through a mall , and she is looking for something ; desperately looking for something . 
we get the idea of the frantic nature of her search , but we follow her for so long that we end up not really caring about what she's looking for , but instead hoping she'll just stop . 
overall , viewing jackie brown is time spent well . 
some flap has already been made about the language used in the film , but it's really not much worse than many of the other movies out there today . 
in fact , one might even be able to say that the way in which these "" offensive "" words are employed almost cause them to parody themselves and therefore transcend their own offensiveness . 
go see the film and see what i mean . 
"
"1","directed by : pixote hunt , hendel butoy , eric goldberg , james algar , francis glebas , gaetan & paul brizzi conducted by : james levine composed by : ludwig van beethoven , ottorino respighi , george gershwin , dmitri shostakovich , camille saint-saens , paul dukas , sir edward elgar , igor stravinsky rated : g scripture references : 1 samuel 16 : 23 , ephesians 5 : 19 , 1 chronicles 15 : 15-16 
in 1940 , walt disney released a filmed experiment . 
fantasia was a blend of two art forms : classical music and animation . 
while it was not immediately popular with the audiences of its day , it has since become recognized as something of a classic . 
according to the program notes , it was mr . disney's intention to have fantasia be a continual work in progress . 
sixty years later , thanks to the ongoing efforts of walt's nephew , a new fantasia is being released . 
it was not only worth the waiting , it is evidence to just how far animation has come during the past half-decade . 
with seven new sequences and one old favorite , fantasia 2000 exhibits an imagination and respect for its art form that is absent from most other feature films . 
like the original , fantasia 2000 will more than likely bore the very young , although there is more narrative appeal in this newer version and the segments appear to be substantially shorter , perhaps a nod to the shorter attention span of the studio's primary audience . 
ranging from the silly to the sublime , each segment is preceded by a short , humorous introduction or interstitial by a guest celebrity host , steve martin ( bowfinger ) being the first and most effective . 
these are quickly forgotten as conductor james levine leads the chicago symphony orchestra through the musical program which , along with the images drawn by the disney team of animators , is thoughtfully and beautifully brought to a stunning synthesis . 
fantasia 2000 is being released exclusively in the giant-screened imax theaters , making for a unique viewing experience . 
there is enough variety in the program to provide something enjoyable for everyone and surely , people will exit the theaters with their own personal favorites . 
for me , that would have to be the jazz age story of four unconnected and discontented people living in nyc who , unknowingly , help each other realize their dreams . 
drawn in the style of caricaturist al hirschfeld and inspired by george gershwin's rhapsody in blue , the music and images are blended perfectly resulting in a product greater than the sum of its two parts . 
children will like the short piece set to carnival of the animals by camille saint-saens . 
here , a goofy looking flamingo irritates the rest of the flock with his yo-yo playing antics . 
they will also giggle as donald duck , playing noah's assistant , tries to load the animals into the ark to the familiar strains of pomp and circumstance by sir edward elgar . 
 ( while the depiction is not biblically accurate , it is entertaining and might be excuse enough to familiarize ourselves with the true record by reading what is written in genesis 7 . ) 
a positive note is that the studio has avoided any segment which is as perversely dark as nihgt on bald mountain upon which the original film ended . 
there are some images based upon fantasy such as the flying whales in respighi's pines of rome or images which have their roots in mythology such as the ethereal creatures which tell the story of nature's cycle of life , death , and rebirth in igor stravinsky's firebird suite . 
but the stories they tell are uplifting , containing nothing too frightening for our younger children . 
the darkest segment , spiritually speaking , actually belongs to the only holdover from the original fantasia , mickey mouse in the sorcerer's apprentice by paul dukas . 
but overall , the emotions evoked from fantasia 2000 are positive ones , being full of hope and promise . 
music has an impact which can be undeniably felt , capable of leading the listener to emotional peaks and inspirational highs simply not attainable through other mediums . 
it is no wonder that the levites , as the priestly tribe of the old testament , were also the appointed musicians . 
if fantasia 2000 is able to introduce a new audience to music which inspires and exalts , it will have done an incredible service . 
"
"1","ingredients : little orphan boy , rural grandparents , mountains , native american lore 
synopsis : in this loving film portrayal of an idyllic and pivotal time that a young boy spends with grandpa and grandma , the self recollections of an unseen narrator focus on his world view as a tennessee orphan boy learning of his heritage through his grandparents . 
the setting is after the first world war , during the great depression years . 
a nine-year-old orphan named little tree ( joseph ashton ) is taken in and taught the wondrous ways of the woods by his caucasian moonshiner grandpa ( james cromwell ) and his native american grandma ( tantoo cardinal ) in the wilderness of the mountains of tennessee . 
here little tree learns an almost magical appreciation for nature and farm life - - and experiences beautiful and wondrous things such as the sunrise . 
everything is miraculous to a child . 
but it all comes crashing down for the boy when the u . s . government forcibly takes custody away from grandpa and grandma , and forces little tree to attend the notched gap boarding school , a kind of internment camp where multiracial cherokee kids are indoctrinated to dress , pray , speak , and think like white people or face solitary confinement and corporeal punishment . 
through his childhood experiences , little tree learns lessons about love , race , life , death , people , nature , and folk wisdom . 
opinion : this excellent , excellent family movie . 
it is one of those priceless screen gems that nobody knows about because it's not highly advertised . 
you won't find any formula schlock , cutesy characters , canned spirituality , sequel teasers or commercial tie ins , but you will find the education of little tree to be a refreshing , impeccably acted , original , wonderful , and touching film . 
take the whole family and bring a box of tissues for the tearjerkers . 
this one's as good as old yeller . 
"
"1","disney cements their place in the forefront of feature animation with the release of their latest animated adventure , mulan . 
while it adheres a bit too close to the disney formula to be perfect , it is nonetheless an entertaining film for both kids and adults . 
fa mulan ( ming-na wen , singing : lea salonga ) wants nothing more than to be a dutiful daughter and honor her family . . . it's 
just that she doesn't quite fit in with the chafing customs of her time . 
while most girls her age are trying to quietly and demurely seek the approval of the local matchmaker ( miriam margoyles ) , mulan would prefer speaking her mind . 
but there is trouble on the horizon . 
the evil huns , led by shan-yu ( miguel ferrer ) , are invading china . 
the emperor ( pat morita ) has decreed that each family must donate one man to serve in the army . 
the only male in mulan's family is her father , fa zhou ( soon-tek oh ) , who , old and with a bad leg , honorably accepts his fate . 
mulan , on the other hand , decides to save her father's life . . . by 
secretly masquerading as a man and taking his place on the battlefield . 
mulan , under the assumed name of ping , appears at camp where she , along with the other bumbling recruits , yao ( harvey fierstein ) , chien-po ( jerry tondo ) and ling ( gedde watanabe ) , are trained in the art of war by captain shang ( b . d . 
wong , singing : donny osmond ) . 
but she's not alone in her tasks . . . in 
typical disney fashion , she has three animal companions : her horse khan , a lucky cricket crickey , and a pint-sized "" guardian "" dragon called mushu ( eddie murphy ) . 
much like the gargoyles in the hunchback of notre dame , the humor in mulan is lukewarm and doesn't flow well with the rest of the more serious story . 
sure , some occasional comic relief is welcome , particularly in a film geared for the younger set , but mulan overdoes it . 
the overdose of humor turns what could have been a powerfully great film into a good , but schizophrenic experience . 
but , that commentary aside , this is a very well made film ( which makes the formulaic additions all the more regrettable ) . 
the animation is on par with some of disney's best . 
the story itself is interesting , and the action scenes are awe-inspiring . 
the musical score to the film is enjoyable , though , as has been the case with disney's recent work , the songs are mostly forgettable . 
at least , we're only subjected to four of them this time around . 
mulan boasts the highest death toll of any disney cartoon to date . 
most of the killing is off-screen and it's all highly depersonalized ( there's nothing to compare with the death of mufasa or bambi's mom ) . 
there's nothing graphic , and the film resides snugly inside a g rating . 
children will probably have more questions about the restrictive ancient customs than of the slaughter of armies . 
it's ironic that a film concerned with bucking tradition is hampered because of its strict adherence to disney tradition . 
if the filmmakers had the guts to lessen the humor , ax the compulsory songs , and remove the obligatory ( and somewhat unrealistic ) romance , they could have had a classic on their hands . 
instead , they merely deliver a very good time at the movies . 
"
"1","capsule : the world will come to an end at midnight . 
everyone knows it and must make a final peace with the last hours of their lives . 
this is an intelligent science fiction film with no special effects , just personalities and ideas . 
 , high +2 ( -4 to +4 ) 
- it is the last night of the planet and several different people are reacting each in their own way to the end . 
the film covers 6 pm to midnight . 
the main character is patrick played by david mckellan who also wrote and directed . 
- reminiscent of on the beach . 
but much more so of a story richard matheson wrote , "" the last day . "" 
 ( p . s . 
on rereading the 1953 matheson , this film is almost a loose adaptation of that story . 
the similarities may be mere coincidence , but they are numerous and they are very striking . ) 
- us release may be problematical . 
the title is lackluster and non-memorable , though very appropriate when you know about the film . 
also provincial americans may not care about the end of the world coming to toronto . 
they probably would feel it would not affect them . 
perhaps a pbs release would be possible . 
- patrick's family has declared it christmas and are hurt that the ( adult ) children will not spend the whole evening with them . 
- grocery stores mostly looted . 
it seems though that one of everything is left . 
- some people continue business as usual , some want sex , some react with religion , some riot . 
some people are in total denial . 
- much comedy , much drama . 
- very canadian cast . 
- it does not get dark . 
it is just always daytime . 
- radio playing "" last night i didn't get to sleep at all . "" 
how appropriate . 
- david cronenberg as a kind of bland functionary manager at the gas company . 
genvieve bujold as french teacher visiting former student . 
- science fiction film with no special effects , cost about two million dollars . 
- the person you have been thrown together with by chance becomes the most important person to you for the rest of your life . 
- why would it be so precisely at midnight ? 
what about other time zones ? 
what is the nature of what is destroying the world ? 
"
"1","the rich man's wife is one of those movies like final analysis or body double , where the story and characters are so one-dimensional and contrived that you know you shouldn't be enjoying yourself . 
but somehow , the movie just tries so hard that you begin to forgive it and get into the swing of things . 
not that it's bad , it's just that it's been done before ; and better , in my opinion . 
i realize that this is going to sound pretty bizarre , but it's probably the best analogy that i can come up with right now ; you know how when you see a spider or something in your toilet , striving helplessly to get out , and instead of just flushing him , you end up kind of rooting for the little guy ? 
that's basically how i felt about this movie . 
i mean , it's not very good , but it's not completely bad either . 
the wife of the title is josie potenza ( played nicely by halle berry ) . 
she is married to tony ( christopher mcdonald . . . you 
know , the guy who looks like joe piscapo ) , a really stressed-out businessman who drinks way to much and doesn't give josie the attention she deserves ( * cough , cough * ) . 
thus , she is driven into the arms of another man , jake golden ( clive owen ) . 
near the beginning of the film , josie decides to try and work things out with tony by dumping jake and going on a vacation to a remote cabin in the woods . 
once there , however , tony has to leave almost immediately due to business details ( i'm still not quite sure what line of work he's in ) . 
making the best of her situation , josie stays there and begins making the rounds at the local bars . 
one night , she meets a stranger named cole ( peter greene , finally getting a meaty role ) . 
they have dinner together , and eventually , both josie and the audience start to realize that cole is homicidal . 
after learning that she is not happily married , cole offers to "" take care "" of the problem . 
managing to escape from the psychotic maniac , josie returns home and starts a reconciliation with her estranged and very wealthy husband . 
but then one night , cole shows up . . . 
and here is where the fun begins . 
from this point on , it's going to be a no-holds- barred cliche-fest , ripping off every movie from strangers on a train to the usual suspects . 
this is why most critics panned this movie when it first came out . 
and for the most part , they're right ; the rich man's wife has nary one original bone in it's body . 
but who cares ? 
if you're looking for good ol' dumb suspense movie , you can't do much better than this . 
and if you suspense buffs aren't already sold , it has a killer of an ending too . 
"
"1","with a team of 200 graphic artists and animators working on this first film production from game developer squaresoft's square pictures , final fantasy , inspired by the top-selling game franchise , is visually awe-inspiring and groundbreaking . 
no doubt , you have never seen anything like this film , and the hyperbolic fanfare surrounding its release is absolutely deserved . 
but why does such a tremendous feat of eye candy have to be weighted down with a problematic story , wooden dialogue and generally uncharismatic voice acting ? 
obviously , the primary goal of the film is to stun and amaze audiences with extremely sophisticated cgi . 
everything you see in the film is rendered in great detail : individual threads in the fabric , individual strands of hair swaying , wrinkles and pimples on skin , incredible water effects . 
overall , the expressions and lip movements fairly accurately match the emotions and dialogue ; and the times when they don't sync perfectly really stand out , since the animation is usually so dazzling . 
but you won't spend much time dwelling on those gaffes -- as soon as you catch one , the next stellar monster or effect will have you muttering , "" wow . . . "" 
like the series of games , final fantasy's plot and characters have little to do with its predecessors , outside of being born from the same japanese mastermind , hironobu sakaguchi . 
it's the year 2065 , and humans are prisoners in caged cities of their own making that guard them from an outside world now overrun with deadly alien "" phantoms . "" 
whenever a human comes in contact with the ghostly visitors , the often-invisible beings pass through the body and wrench out its soul ( for some unexplainable reason ) . 
while many humans agree with a plan by monomaniacal general hein ( james woods ) to blast the aliens with a "" zeus cannon , "" dr . aki ross ( ming-na ) and dr . sid ( donald sutherland ) plan to build a "" wave "" using eight collected "" spirits "" to counteract the phantoms and kill them off . 
while the images serve the sci-fi aspect of the film well , the storytelling doesn't . 
it's unfortunate , because the plot seems so intricately thought out . 
perhaps it was far too complex and enormous to be entirely incorporated into the script . 
some could blame this weakness on the fact that it was a japanese concept translated to english , except two americans wrote the screenplay . 
nevertheless , the end result is an elaborate story complicated by confusing holes . 
why do these aliens feed on souls ? 
if they can pass through bodies and ships , how can humans hurt them with guns ? 
what is so special about the "" spirits "" that they would create a force strong enough to destroy the aliens ? 
worse yet , the dialogue is scripted to be either like a science-heavy star trek episode , an installment of die hard , or a sappy love story , depending on who's doing the talking . 
for the most part , it's bearable considering the genre , but tedious speeches and cheesy lines don't do anything to help the actors and can get annoying in the longer scenes . 
the only exception is steve buscemi as pilot neil fleming , who always has great cracks during tense moments . 
but , when the lights come up and the credits roll , you're more likely to be remarking on how fantastic the film looked . 
there's no question that the roughly 33 million people who have bought at least one final fantasy game will be eager to see this movie , and so should anyone who enjoys being floored by the best cg animation ever put to film . 
you'd be living in a fantasy world of your own if you expected much more . 
"
"1","ladies and gentlemen , 1997's independence day is here ! 
it's title : starship troopers . 
and surprisingly , it is more entertaining than id4 . 
i realize that i gave last year's sci-fi hit a 4 star rating , but i was under the spell of the powerful first hour . 
after subsequent viewings , i feel that independence day really wasn't as great as it seemed--though i still give it a positive review . 
starship troopers , on the other hand , has a mocking sense of humor , knowing perfectly well how ridiculous it may seem . 
as a result , starship troopers is a more exciting , energetic , and lively science fiction film . 
in fact , i probably could never get tired of watching this film . 
starship troopers is very reminiscient of star wars , another kick-ass space opera which reinvented the sci-fi drama altogether . 
while starship troopers is no star wars , it comes quite close , and the easiest assessment would be to call this film : "" the 'star wars' of the 90s . "" 
am i being to generous to this film ? 
perhaps , but when a science fiction film comes along that can mix humor and romance , effectively , into the warring races . 
in essence , this is the science fiction equivolence of pulp fiction . 
the easiest way to write a review of this film would be to compare it to other science fiction films , and i may have to . 
starship troopers is not quite an original film persay , but director paul verhoeven gives the film a "" kick-the-aliens'-asses "" style . 
id4 had this same style , except it was forced , most likely the cause of will smith having a major role . 
this new "" star wars "" has a very simple , basic plot : mankind vs . an alien species . 
the alien species in question here is the bugs , a seemingly advanced civilization of arachnid-type insects . 
however , the underlying morals of starship troopers are fleshed out with deadly accuracy . 
sometimes the morals are buried by the bloody violence and intense action scenes , but during quiet moments , we realize that starship troopers has something to tell us about our civilization . 
more than likely , these morals will be overpowered and quickly forgotten by the time the movie ends . 
and they should be . 
i doubt verhoeven intended this film to be a thought-provoking film . 
this is an "" event "" film , but surprisingly above average . 
it is extremely refreshing to watch a sci-fi war film , and actually root for the human side ( something independence day never achieved ) . 
starship troopers begins with a satirical portrayal of those strange "" join the army "" ads . 
mixing a web-based interface , these summations of events are refreshingly original . 
stating , "" would you like to know more ? "" , 
these short news bulletins give the film an immediate sense of humor , and we know we should not take it seriously . 
however , we also witness the murder of several troopers in battle , in a gory , yet funny , way . 
after witnessing the slaughter , the film jumps back one year , to setup what we just saw . 
we are introduced to johnny rico ( casper van dien ) and carmen ibanez ( denise richards ) . 
rico flirts with carmen by sending her messages over computer terminals in school classrooms . 
however , carmen isn't as interested in rico as she is in becoming a pilot . 
however , another classmate , dizzy flores ( dina meyer ) , has her eye on rico . 
unfortunately , rico isn't interested in dizzy . 
this setup is rather cliched , as is the result of the setup , but it still is fun to watch . 
carmen signs up to become a starship trooper , and as a result , rico signs up . 
and as a result , dizzy signs up . 
everyone is assigned a certain position in the academy : carmen gets the pilot position she wanted , carl jenkins ( neil patrick harris ) , a psychic , gets a position in the training program , and rico is left in the lowest class of the starship troopers : the mobile infantry . 
the main story follows rico through his trials and relationships . 
in reality , i found myself watching a space version of "" melrose place , "" but with better special effects . 
an hour into the film , the war begins . 
a sense of tension grew in the audience i watched this film with . 
the first hour may have been a funny ( sometimes unintentionally ) setup , but we grew to care for the flat characters , because no matter how hard i tried not to like the characters , their gorgeous looks won me over ( call me superficial , if you must ) . 
following the training sessions , which had many dramas in themselves ( too many to mention here ) , the troopers are sent to war . 
the bugs live on the planet klendathu , a planet which consists of dirt and rock , and pretty much nothing else . 
many dramas occur during the war , until finally the troopers realize that their is something behind the bugs' attacks . 
a sort of intelligence which masterminds the defense . 
the troopers are ordered to locate the "" brain "" and capture it . 
i hopefully left the plot as vague as possible , because starship troopers is not about plot . 
it's about special effects and gory violence . 
director verhoeven , most known for his nudie film showgirls and basic instinct , returns to his sci-fi days , which gave us good films like total recall . 
verhoeven likes to push the envelope of the mpaa , but despite all the violence , the comic book feel gives the film a sense of falsehood . 
starship troopers is extremely violent , with more gore than this year's event horizon . 
the r rating is well deserved , and hopefully parents will not allow their 12 year old children to see it . 
my guess is that verhoeven's target audience is the 18 to 25 male group . 
the film has a testosterone level off the charts , with chiseled men and beautiful women . 
despite these superficial elements , starship troopers also creates a world which made star wars so successful . 
while watching the film , we never second guess the character's decisions because they seem perfectly clear . 
thankfully , no hero is punching aliens in the face , which gives the flat characters some depth for which we can identify with . 
the cast of starship troopers is quite annoying to begin with , but they soon grow on you . 
casper van dien has the chiseled facial features and tan skin which will make most girls swoon . 
to most guys , he will come across as artificial . 
fortunately , van dien is the worst of the cast , despite how hard he tries to come off as a real character . 
dina meyer does a much better job of fleshing out her character . 
her dizzy is extremely likeable . 
denise richards also does a good job , and her scenes are very well done . 
jake busey , gary busey's son , gives a wonderfully funny performance , and provides one of the biggest laughs of the film . 
neil patrick harris ( remember , he was doogie howser ) is a little wooden , and slightly out of place with the rest of the cast . 
however , he does give a good performance . 
michael ironside gives the best performance of the film as the teacher with one arm . 
his performance rises above the rest . 
perhaps it is because his character is the most developed , but i think it is just ironside's presence on screen . 
unfortunately , no particular cast member gives a star-making performance , which is too bad because the material here could have made many of the cast members stars . 
director verhoeven is the main star of the film . 
his direction is fast and unrelentless . 
he never slows down his pace , which makes for a wild ride . 
writer edward neumeier adapted the screenplay from the book by robert heinlein . 
the writing is usually very funny , and sometimes very corny . 
the dialogue is smart but not too smart . 
we aren't required to know everything , but some plot holes are left unanswered . 
thankfully we are not intended to notice , and we really don't ( except for one which lingered in my mind for quite a while ) . 
amazingly , with all the wars and romance going on , the screenplay manages to include some surprising governmental issues . 
in fact , these governmental changes seem fairly plausible , and this adds another layer to the story . 
the moral debate of the characters is quite surprising to find in a film of this genre , but what is even more surprising is the amount of humor included into all the carnage . 
i haven't laughed this loud , even in some comedies . 
oh , and the special effects are first rate . 
starship troopers is rated r for graphic sci-fi violence and gore , and for some language and nudity . 
believe me when i say this : don't take young kids to see this film . 
it is extremely violent . 
in fact , it is probably the most violent film out this year . 
however , if you are old enough ( over 17 ) to see it , starship troopers is guaranteed to entertain . 
it's been a long time since i have cheered for the heros , while also cheering for the bad guys . 
and still , it is my dream to see a sci-fi film in which the alien race destroys mankind , and take over the world . 
now that would be entertaining ! 
"
"1","billed as a "" feminist sex fantasy "" , this spirited , imaginative and thoroughly engaging film by the award-winning canadian director cynthia roberts , is destined for extreme reactions . 
camille paglia enthusiasts will no doubt champion this heart-felt tale of the title character bubbles galore ( nina hartley ) , a porn-actress-turned-porn-producer who faces an uphill battle in her quest for sexual and economic independence . 
however , those in the andrea dworkin camp , will no doubt loathe the film's decidedly pro-porn stance . 
political considerations aside , however , this is a delightful lesbian love story as the film takes us on a whirlwind tour of bubbles' romantic entanglements with a naive and virginal young porn starlet dory drawers ( shauny sexton ) . 
in the backdrop , however is bubbles' loyal assistant vivian klitorsky ( tracy wright ) who pines longingly for the affections of her bubbly boss . 
this femme-butch-femme triangle is what provides the film with considerable humanity * and * sensuality . 
in addition to the romantic aspects of the story , bubbles is being stalked and terrorized by her ex-boyfriend godfrey montana ( daniel macivor ) , a slimy porn mogul who wishes to make her life as miserable as he can possibly make it . 
when his plans to sabotage her latest film fall through , he snaps and psychotically decides to kill her . 
these proceedings are presided over by a most heavenly presence . 
god herself - yes , in the world of this film , god , is most definitely a "" her "" - and a chorus of undulating , scantily-clad angels , have their most watchful and lustful eyes on the events as they unfold , adding a lovely fantasy element to this frothy concoction . 
this bright , colourful and deliriously sexy film is chock-full of great performances . 
making her dramatic debut , after appearing in over 300 triple x adult films , porn star nina hartley takes command of her role with considerable assurance and a screen presence which puts many other contemporary 'straight' actresses to shame . 
hartley has overwhelming star power , and one wonders why other non-triple-x producers haven't used her bountiful talents . 
it is also interesting to note that hartley appears in the recent release of "" boogie nights "" , a film which takes a far more traditional doom-and-gloom approach to the porn industry . 
making a cameo appearance in the role of god , former porn actress annie sprinkle , a true artist in her own right - gives the entire film an earthy , sensual glow and certainly solidifies and , by her very appearance , downright justifies the themes of the movie . 
the other performances are equally solid . 
daniel macivor appropriately chews up the scenery as the villainous godfrey and tracy wright lends able support with her complex role . 
shauny sexton , an erotic dancer and pin-up model , makes an impressive screen debut . 
overall , bubbles galore is a film which wears its politics on its sleeve and very proudly indeed . 
at one point , the title character declares that "" instead of trying to save women from the sex trade , we should be working to ensure that the sex trade is a safe place for women to work "" . 
the direction by cynthia roberts is daring and subversive . 
roberts is not afraid to plunge the otherwise straight-ahead and simple narrative into extended and extremely avant-garde montage sequences . 
the love scenes between the women are especially beautiful . 
the musical score by nicholas stirling blends cool jazz and lounge stylings , while the skilful cinematography by harald bachmann terrifically captures a blend of garish 70's porn and psychedelia . 
amazingly , this film appears to have received a good deal of its funding from a variety of canadian government cultural agencies . 
this speaks volumes towards the importance of state funding for culture , as one cannot imagine such an entertaining , original and vital film being made in a traditional setting where conformity and formula rule the day . 
bubbles galore seems to be making the film festival rounds and does not , at present , appear to have any traditional distribution in place , so keep your eye on the alternative film listings for this one . 
it's funny , sexy and subversive . 
and it shouldn't be missed . 
"
"1","seen at the 21st portland international film festival 
film title : supermarket woman director : juzo itami country : japan 1997 cinematography : yonezo maeda music : toshiyuki honda cast : nobuko miyamoto , masahitko tsugawa , shiro ito , yuji miyake , akiko matsumoto super features : typical itami film . . . 
funny and pointed in its own way . 
if you don't care how and what the food you buy goes through in your local supermarket , then this film is not for you . . . . 
maybe it is better to ignore it , as this strong and biting satire , as only juzo itami can deliver , will give you an insight as to what some foods go through . 
having , in the past , made films that pulled every punch imaginable , from the family traditions ( the funeral ) , to taxes ( a taxing woman & a taxing woman returns ) , to the diabolical gangsters ( minbo ) , to hospitals ( the seriously ill ) , juzo itami , this time takes on the supermarkets' own war , to get the consumers . 
and while this film has its funny side , in the crazy situations that it creates , it also shows another side , which is very much the attitude of a corporate structure that is more concerned with its profits than it is with any customer . 
goro has a supermarket . 
and a competitor comes into the neighborhood , trying to take him out of business by providing less expensive prices for everything that is sold in the supermarket . 
bargains galore , its name , has in mind the closure of goro's humbler venue , so that in the end it can mark up its prices in any way it can . 
goro hires hanako , a housewife whose talents seem to be better suited to management , than they are in anything else . 
hanako , as she gets familiar with the operation , discovers many of the tricks of the trade , done by many of the elders in charge of each section of the market . 
and the procedures , are not always "" fresh "" food , but a new packaging and a new date , to try and convince the customers that quality is on the shelves . 
hanako's ideas take hold , starting with a few of the women that work in the supermarket , being that they do not even shop there at all . 
and hanako discovers along the way that a few giveaways here and there make a bit of a difference . 
if not cause some serious problems in the running of the store . 
a price error , forces them to give away eggs for very low prices , and causes the store a few hassles , but , it brought the people in , and everyone knows that these customers will buy a few other things . 
as the operation gets stronger , the competition also has trickery up its sleeve , and it has been undermining much of the operation by paybacks to one of the store managers , as well as the meat and fish elder supervisors . 
eventually these people are found out , and hanako has to tread slowly and carefully , until in the end they all have a showdown . 
and here , the truth and honesty win out , and even one of the elders decides to stay rather than go to work for the corrupt opponent . 
in the process , they also find that "" freshness "" ( with some very funny jokes on this word as well ) becomes a much more important tool than they imagined . 
with some very nice performances , in this hectic , and fast paced film , this film gives us a sitting of two hours that is satisfying in many ways , although a failed love story between goro and hanako does not come off much , even though towards the end it is suggested . 
but this would take away from the satire and its strengths . 
with food gags all over the place , the film lets you have it . 
and what fun it is . 
worth seeing . 
 ( editorial ) the director of this film , juzo itami , died shortly after the film was finished , and he left behind a legacy of comedy and satire that is rare , and uncompromising . 
we would wish that he had been able to make one about film making , of which he must have had a few stories to tell , but we will have to do with much of the japanese society , and its many errant ways . . . . 
not to say that these things do not happen anywhere else . . . . 
america is no less guilty of any of these subjects at all , should anyone have the guts to tackle it . . . 
we could learn something along the way , too . . . . 
worth seeing , specially , is a taxing woman and its follow up a taxing woman returns . 
the funeral is also good , although not as funny as the later films . 
tampopo is also very enjoyable . 
all four of these films are available in video , which means your best local site for foreign film may have them . . . 
ask for it . 
"
"1","i can sum up first strike in one word : awesome . 
never in my life have i seen an actor as insanely dedicated as jackie chan . 
for the simple reason that he has performed his own stunts in his every movie he's ever appeared in , he should be awarded greatly . 
the same tom and jerry formula that was used to make chan's rumble in the bronx and supercop so entertaining can be found here as well . 
however , first strike was probably the most exciting out of the three , for the simple reason that practice makes perfect . 
his last two movies were almost like practice and this one was great . 
like rumble , this film is about the mafia , the former kgb . 
now chan must do battle in the freezing arctic temperatures of the ukraine against a group of very large bad men . 
the trailer for the film sums it up quite well . 
first strike is action-packed , but the fight scenes are so fast and furious , they almost have a witty , italian-like humor to them . 
jackie chan is a regular comedian . 
well , he's no eddie murphy , but he can really crack you up . 
for example , he is hanging off a roof and he humorously taunts his foes to come and get him , as he claims to be the korean 007 ( that's secret agent james bond ) . 
even the plot to this film improved above the others , as a sort-of twisted nuclear-weapon smuggling deal is botched and jackie takes the blame . 
but never fear , as the chinese mafia aids him in uncovering the truth behind the incident . 
with some of the most high-flying stunts and side-splitting comedy , first strike is a sure-fire hit that's guaranteed to draw some major , world-wide attention . 
 , 
"
"1","as a devout atheist and an avowed believer in aliens , i have some idea of how ellie aroway ( jodie foster ) feels . 
but because my reasons for not partaking in religion are different than hers , i can't say that i do exactly . 
her reason is that she needs solid proof : there is no proof that god existed , so therefor she does not believe . 
ellie also believes in aliens , and has spent most of her life trying to prove they exist . 
how can she say she doesn't believe in god because of the lack of proof , and then say she believes in aliens , which are gereally less believed in than god without sounding like a hypocrite ? 
that's the catch-22 . 
when aliens from the star vega fax her some plans for a device to transport someone to them ( okay , well , they didn't really * fax * them . . . ) 
ellie wants to be the one to go , but because of her atheism she is denied the position . 
how dumb is that ? 
she discovers the transmitions , then she isn't allowed to go . 
well , because of a bomb and a psychopath ( jake busey ) , she * does * end up going , but not in the way that we would've thought . 
contact is based on a novel by carl sagan , who died during the filmmaking . 
it is the best alien movie since close encounters of the 3rd kind , and will end up being the best film of the year . 
its views of science and religion will no doubt aggrivate some , but will stimulate more . 
i'm glad at least one movie of the '90s can portray aliens in a psitive light , rather than a bunch of slimey beasts who will eat your insides and then put on your body . 
"
"1","by now i figured i'd seen every alfred hitchcock film at least a half-dozen times -- not that i'm complaining . 
to call him the "" master of suspense "" is an understatement . 
the paradine case ( 1947 ) , admittedly one of hitchcock's lesser movies , turned out to be one i'd missed . 
this one , like all hitchcock films , is well worth savoring . 
the story opens with the rich mrs . maddalena anna paradine being arrested in her home for poisoning her blind husband . 
as mrs . paradine , alida valli plays an aloof but alluring woman of the world . 
to franz waxman's stark and moody music , we see the prison guards divesting her of her luxurious garments and jewels . 
stripped of her fine raiment , she becomes a commoner again , which , as it turns out , was what she was before she met her husband . 
 "" a brief skirmish , and you'll be lunching at the savoy again , "" anthony keane , her ultraconfident attorney tells her in their first meeting , predicting a fast and easy trial . 
gregory peck plays the successful and debonair barrister . 
 "" she's no murderess , "" he argues simplistically , smitten by her beauty . 
 "" she's too fine a woman . "" 
his attitude upsets his beautiful and increasing jealous wife , gay ( ann todd ) . 
unlike most hitchcock movies , which are centered on the thriller and the mystery , this one is more a romantic melodrama . 
typical is the scene in which gay flings her head back and shakes her hair while bathed in light . 
she deflects her husband's affections as she fears that he is beginning to fall in love with his client . 
the dramatic music then comes up high as the camera dwells on mrs . paradine's portrait nearby . 
in the relatively unsatisfying first half , little happens other than domestic squabbles and overtones of intense adulterous desires . 
to the sound of sweeping violins gay tells anthony that he must get mrs . paradine acquitted because , if mrs . paradine dies , his heart will go with her . 
if she is freed , he will be able to forget her . 
as part of the soap opera , a mysterious louis jordan plays mr . paradine's valet , who has had some not to be discussed relationships . 
charles coburn plays anthony's legal partner , sir simon flaquer . 
and charles laughton , who looks like coburn , is judge lord horfield . 
this being proper british society , they will all dine together at the judge's house not long before the case begins . 
court tv junkies will probably pick up the many differences , some subtle and others not , between the american and the british judicial systems . 
one , for example , of which i was not aware is that the barrister cannot speak to his own client during the recess if she is the process of testifying . 
one sometimes wonders what the academy is thinking when they make their oscar nominations . 
as the judge's wife , lady sophie horfield , ethel barrymore got a nomination for best supporting actress -- the film's only nomination -- for an inconsequential part with which she did little of merit . 
 ( so the big question is when does hitchcock make his obligatory walk-on ? 
at 37 minutes into the film , he leaves a train station carrying a large musical instrument case . 
don't miss it . ) 
in the second half the story finally comes alive when it gets into the courtroom . 
the great master shows his hand there as the tensions build as rapidly in the second part as they lay fallow in the first . 
watch how the camera angles are sometimes from the back and other times from way on high to set the exact tone for the trial's action . 
as anthony explains it , the simple case has only 3 possibilities : mr . paradine poisoned himself , mrs . paradine did it , or the valet did it . 
the end includes many devastating revelations and some nice twists so it is too bad the first half is so languid . 
the paradine case runs 1 : 53 . 
the picture is in black and white . 
it is not rated but would be pg for mature themes and would be fine for kids around nine and up if they are interested . 
"
"1","it's wednesday , march 27 , and a murder investigation is underway in charlotte , south carolina . 
the crime : a young prostitute , elizabeth ( renee zellweger ) , has been brutally slain . 
one half of her severed body was found in a bag at the train station . 
the other half was discovered in a trunk at the harbor authority , miles away . 
the police duo of braxton ( chris penn ) and kennesaw ( michael rooker ) are strapped for leads . 
at the moment , they have only one possible suspect : wayland ( tim roth ) , a wealthy , unemployed genius who graduated summa cum laude from princeton and appears to be the least likely character to commit such a heinous act . 
that's the premise for deceiver , a new thriller from the pate brothers , jonas and josh , who made their mark on the film world two years ago at sundance with the movie the grave . 
deceiver plays out like a mind game between the intellectually superior wayland and the two not- so-bright cops ( captions early in the proceedings let us know that wayland's iq is 151 ; by contrast , kennesaw's is 122 and braxton's is 102 ) . 
the setting is a police interrogation room where a lie detector test is about to be administered . 
over three days , as wayland returns to answer more questions , the drama and tension among these three characters gradually escalates until , inevitably , it boils over . 
other plot elements are thrown in for good measure . 
wayland suffers from a peculiar kind of epilepsy that can , in stressful situations , render him virtually catatonic or extremely violent . 
braxton , a compulsive gambler , is deep in debt to a local syndicate . 
and kennesaw is haunted by a dark , abusive side that delights in terrorizing women , especially his wife ( rosanna arquette ) , whom he suspects of being unfaithful . 
the foibles and failings of these three are brought into the open as the mystery around elizabeth's death deepens and it becomes unclear who has the upper hand : the suspect or his questioners . 
deceiver , which mostly transpires in a dimly-lit room and involves a lot of smart dialogue , has the feel of a david mamet play : edgy , claustrophobic , and tense . 
the atmosphere is explosive , and some of pivotal moments of confrontation are riveting . 
deceiver has the power to grab an audience . 
unfortunately , in the end , it succumbs to the need to throw in one last , unexpected twist , and this is its undoing . 
for , while this surprise will certainly shock most viewers , it also stretches our credulity too much , and raises more questions than it answers . 
it's only an effective wrap-up if you don't think too carefully about its full implications . 
of course , the film as a whole plays fast and loose with reality and logic . 
police procedure is totally ignored and it's almost impossible to accept that any criminal investigation would or could proceed in this manner . 
but the real focus in deceiver is on character interaction , not plot details . 
deceiver only occasionally gets out of the police station , and those instances occur primarily during flashbacks featuring the prostitute . 
the pates employ a number of interesting techniques to present vignettes from elizabeth's final days and hours . 
the most intriguing of these is to use an unreliable narrator while underlining the discrepancies in his voice-over by visually showing what really happened . 
moments like this are too effective to be dismissed as gimmicks . 
the movie , obviously fashioned in the manner of classic film noir , drips atmosphere . 
there are some fascinating stylistic touches ; for example , although the setting is contemporary , all of the telephones are old-fashioned , rotary models . 
cinematographer bill butler is given an opportunity to use unconventional camera work to liven up deceiver's look . 
some of the things he tries ( mostly those that involve the contrast between light and shadow ) work exceptionally well , while others ( like any of several lazy susan shots ) seem more like unnecessary visual tricks . 
as wayland , tim roth gives the film's top performance , despite occasionally treading the tightrope between acting and overacting . 
roth makes us believe that wayland is both as brilliant and as troubled as he's supposed to be . 
the other two leads , chris penn and michael rooker , aren't as effective . 
both play their characters like familiar types . 
penn's performance is uninspired ; rooker's lacks subtlety . 
some of the best work is turned in by the supporting actors . 
renee zellweger , in a role that's miles away from her star-making turn in jerry maguire , brings a note of vulnerability and humanity to a part that could easily have become a caricature . 
rosanna arquette is solid as kennesaw's wife , and michael parks delivers several wonderful scenes as a psychiatrist who's entrusted with evaluating wayland's condition . 
one of the best things about deceiver is that it never talks down to the audience . 
plot points aren't hammered home , and , although the ending has its weaknesses , everything isn't spelled out in bold letters . 
the pates give audience members credit for having brains , which is an increasingly rare characteristic for film makers . 
occasionally gripping and never uninteresting , deceiver is a fine noir effort . 
"
"1","on april 12th , 1912 , the most astonishing shipwreck in the history of the world occurred . 
on that fateful night , the titanic sunk . 
now , more than 50 years later , a film has been made . 
and what a film that is . 
james cameron's newest movie is a landmark in storytelling , emotion , and special effects . 
it starts in the present , where bill paxton and his band of scientists explore the depths of the ship's wreckage . 
exploring an old chest , paxton comes across a nude drawing of a young woman . 
the drawing is televised and the woman ( gloria stuart ) whose portrait the painting is of comes forward and slowly but surely , the ship's story is told . 
leonardo dicaprio stars as jack dawson , a young man with a sketch book , a heart of gold , an intelligent mind , and not much else . he wins his ticket aboard titanic in a poker game , and is the perfect match for rose dewitt bukater ( kate winslett ) . 
she grows to love jack , but seems unable to escape the slimy clutches of her arranged fiance' , cal hockley ( billy zane ) . 
the film takes its time , and by doing so , makes us care about its characters , and shows us the full aspects of human emotion . 
the leads shine ; there is no bad performance ; in fact , these do not seems like performances at all , but genuine people , trapped on the doomed vessel , facing certain death . 
watching this film , i was amazed at how vivid and real these situations feel : the time rose and jack spend together at a third-class-party ; the naivety that jack feels when he skecthes rose nude ; the terror felt by all onboard , as certain doom turns people into both cowards and heroes . 
this , the most expensive movie ever made , $200 million , is destined to make its profit back , and then some . 
it also has more emotion and warmth than any other film this year . . even this decade . 
it is also yet another first : the first $200 million dollar romance , and every critic in this country will agree that it was indeed , money extremely . . very 
 . . well 
spent . 
"
"1","that thing you do ! , from first-time film director tom hanks , is an enjoyable tale about a fictional band , the wonders , that goes from a garage band to the band with the fastest selling album in the country . 
but , the question arrises , will the seduction of fame and fortune corrupt the band and lead them to become just another one-hit wonder , or will they stick together and become the next teen sensations ? 
the "" oneders "" , as they are originally known , have their first gig at a very small-time contest . 
jimmy , the lead singer , has written a catchy song and intends to play it at the contest . 
but , a short time before the contest begins , the current drummer becomes injured and a replacement is needed . 
enter guy patterson , skilled musician who currently works at his father's appliance store and is looking to break free from the restricting clutches that bind him . 
he seems to fit in well , until the group takes the stage . 
when they begin to play , guy's beat is much too fast and the pace is way off for the intended song . 
it looks as though the group is doomed to failure . 
but , the "" new "" song is a hit ! 
this leads to another gig , and soon enough , the group has an agent . 
he doesn't do too much for them , but they do get their song played on the radio . 
eventually , mr . white of playtone records approaches the group , and he informs them that they want to release a record . 
before you can say "" billboard "" , the band is now renamed "" the wonders "" and the members are speeding their way to fame . 
the gigs are getting better , their fame is increasing , and they have the fastest selling album in playtone records history . 
the band is invited to appear in a feature film , and , they then fly out to hollywood to appear on television . 
after the appearance on television , things start to fall apart . 
two of the members of the band pretty much disappear , and things are not working out well between jimmy and guy . 
will the band work it out , or will they split up and go on their own separate journeys towards success ? 
that thing you do ! , complete with a nifty original song that actually sounded authentic , is a fun and enjoyable movie that , although it doesn't become clear if it wants to be a comedy , drama , or romance , is a well-made look into the world of music . 
tom hanks' directorial debut was a good one and should lead to more work for him . 
"
"1","synopsis : an attractive mute makeup artist , working on an ultra-cheesy slasher movie in moscow , witnesses the production of a brutal snuff film and is subsequently chased by really bad russians . 
meanwhile , the artist's sister and boyfriend clumsily try to save her . 
comments : mute witness came as a surprise to me the first time i watched it . 
drawn by the clever artwork on the video box , i rented the film expecting a complete turkey . 
mute witness , however , was original , offbeat , and well-made . 
it's one of those cool little finds that no one seems to know about . 
i've subsequently found it at most video rental places i visit , and it may be seen , on occasion , on the independent film channel . 
the first hour of mute witness is extremely tense , as billy , the quite believable mute heroine , sees members of the russian mob brutally kill a prostitute while filming an illegal snuff film . 
the rest of the film takes good advantage of billy's vulnerable position as a mute foreigner in moscow being pursued by powerful criminal figures . 
to throw a curveball into the fray , billy's sister karen and her filmmaking beau become bizarre figures of comic relief to offset several violent sequences in what are some genuinely funny scenes . 
a disappointingly trite ending and occasional comic blunders are the only two things which mar this otherwise suspenseful film . 
look for alec guinness ( obi-wan kenobi from the first star wars trilogy ) in a small role as the evil reaper . 
definately check this movie out ; although , as a word of warning , it does contain several scenes of rather grisly violence which certainly aren't for the squeamish . 
"
"1","the grandfather of italian horror the late mario bava has credits in nearly 100 films and tv movies produced in italy between 1939 and his death in the early 80's . 
more practiced as a cinematographer than a director , bava nonetheless sat in the director's chair for beyond the door ii , the project which turned out to be his last full-length feature film . 
alongside the appalling zombie schlock of hacks like lucio fulci , beyond the door ii is simply a revelation . 
in his day bava was considered by most to be no great filmmaker , yet here he fashioned one of the finest italian horror movies of the 1970's . 
 ( note that the film has no connection with the 1975 exorcist-rip off behind the door , but for some unexplained reason was given this related title for release in the usa and australia . ) 
this story focuses on dora , a women set upon by a malevolent spirit that channels itself through her young son marco . 
the film opens with dora , her son and second husband bruno returning to a house by the sea that was the scene of her first husband's suicide and her subsequent trauma 7 years earlier . 
they hope to put the past behind them , but as small accidents start to befall dora - usually while bruno is away on business - she starts to suspect that marco ( played with uncanny ability by 8 year old david colin jr . ) is somehow involved in the strange goings on . 
to reveal any more of the story would be unfair . 
suffice to say that this artfully paced study of a woman suffering a nervous breakdown offers an intriguing plot , loads of atmosphere and solid acting , though the dialogue is somewhat weakened by the dubbing into english . 
bava coaches a surprisingly good performance from the usually wooden daria nicolodi , wife of famed italian horror director dario argento . 
her character is invested with sufficient depth to allow the audience real empathy with dora's troubled soul . 
the music by italian ensemble libra is also effective , mixing odd-sounding 70's rock with classic gothic piano sequences . 
and there is at least one moment - brilliantly engineered by bava - that is guaranteed to lift you ten feet out of your chair . 
yet for italian horror , the bloodletting here is surprisingly minimal . 
lamberto bava and francesco barbieri's script is more concerned with deeper , psychological terrors , with themes of guilt and suffering , with the notion that what we sow will shall - somewhere , somehow - eventually reap . 
scholars of the genre take note : beyond the door ii is stylish , chilling , and essential . 
"
"1","based on the relatively unknown ( in comparison to spider-man ) marvel comic book , blade tells the story of half-vampire half-human ( played by wesley snipes ) who was born of a vampire's latest meal . 
now swearing vengeance against all vampires , blade hunts them all . 
his latest challenge is his biggest though . . . he 
must stop the vampire deacon frost ( played by stephen dorff ) from summoning the blood god and turning the rest of the world into vampires . 
admitedly , comic books are one of the least appreciated mediums , often viewed as juvenile by most standards , even seen as illiterate by some . 
judging by a series of poorly recieved ( financial and critical ) comic book based films ( such as batman and robin , steel , barb wire , the crow : city of angels , and the list goes on ) , one would come to the conclusion that comic books are the worst medium to translate into film . 
to some degree , i agree with this sentiment . 
having read comic books since the age of nine ( i'm 21 right now ) i can count the number of good comic book based movies ( not including japanese manga ) one hand : 1 : the crow ( 1994 ) , 2 : batman ( 1989 ) , 3 : superman , 4 : the mask , and now , #5 , blade . 
 ( "" men in black "" is not on this list because it is an extreme deviation from the original comic book ) 
why is this ? 
for the most part , it is because the filmmakers understand 
the comic book medium and come up with an appropriate atmosphere to match . 
the crow and batman comics call for a dark gothic atmosphere , which the director provided . 
the mask features a wacky superhero with off the wall antics , which the casting and cg effects reflect . 
superman 
is not over the top with colour and flash , and the film reflects this . 
blade uses common notions of vampires and incorporates them into the film , creating an appropriate atmosphere . 
this is in stark contrast to joel schumacher's contrived vision in batman and robin , reflecting the dated atmosphere in the 1960's television show . 
batman and robin proved that the director failed to realize one fundamental fact : comics have grown up , and so has the audience ( i'm working on a scathing review of batman and robin and will post it up when i'm ready ) . 
which brings me back to blade . 
although he may be a familiar character to some , due to his appearances in the spider-man animated show on fox , one will find no single trace of the warm-and-fuzzy vampire hunter as depicted in the cartoon . 
the film depicts a vicious vampire killer that 
uses every single means at his disposal to reach his ends . 
the end results are not pretty by any means . 
the story elements work very well -- for a comic book story . 
screenwriter david goyer ( who also wrote the crow ) incorporates interesting elements of vampire lore , using science to explain many of the ideas often dismissed in vampire films . 
this is presented through karen , a hematologist portrayed by n'bushe wright . 
this leads to inventive use of standard medical treatments to kill vampires . 
add this 
to the neat little gadgets that blade uses ( including a titanium sword complete with an "" anti-theft device "" ) , and one has an interesting premise . 
however , the film works best as an action film . 
actor wesley snipes has 
an extensive background in martial arts ( most of which comes from capoeira , a brazillian form incorporating flashy kicks ) , choreographing every single move . 
proving that quick , flash cutting edits are no substitute for choreographed fight sequences ( see batman and robin for a 
good example of that ) , wesley snipes dazzles the audience with some incredible fight scenes . 
regardless , this film is far from perfect . 
the film suffers from at least one major plot hole , regarding the summoning of the blood god . 
the ritual requires that a number of pure blood vampires are standing on 
marked squares , yet one of them is viciously murdered , allowing the ritual to pass ( and the murdered vampire is later shown standing on the square ) . 
obvious continuity errors also surface , especially during a scene where deacon frost takes a drag on his cigarette and is not exhaling it in the next frame ( there is no trace of smoke either ) . 
much of the special effects are not that spectacular either . 
while vampire disintegration scenes are intriguing to watch , other cgi ( computer generated imagery ) effects are almost slapped together , which is surprising when given the amount of time the film was given to be released ( the film's release date was pushed back multiple times ) . 
scenes with computer generated blood look extremely fake , knocking the believability factor down a few notches ( but then , i'm really hard to impress ) . 
the film's r rating comes from gory violence , but the lack of 
realism made me wonder why it got such a rating ( for realistic violence , 
watch "" saving private ryan "" ) . 
the overuse of cgi in films has made me yearn for the days of director george romero and makeup wizard rob bottin , both pioneers in the art of gore without extensive use of cgi . 
still , scenes involving non-cgi special effects do surface ( and look much more impressive ) , such as one particularly gruesome scene where a vampire tries to use blade's sword without deactivating the "" anti-theft device "" . 
wesley snipes is the saving grace behind what would have otherwise been a muddled mess . 
while not talking much , he is a grand physical presence , leaving other comic book superheroes in the dust . 
a decent ( by comic book film standards ) storyline also helps . 
"
"1","quentin tarantino seems to have a knack for giving his stars big careers . 
after his pulp fiction , many actors began receiving many offers for jobs . 
john travolta made his come-back and is now one of today's most bankable stars . 
bruce willis proved his acting chops and is now considered an actual actor . 
jackie brown , on the other hand , boasts quite a well known cast , except for the main lead : pam grier . 
most likely you have heard of her and seen her in films , but she's never really had a breakthrough performance ( her first film was in the roger ebert-written beyond the valley of the dolls ) . 
that is , until now . 
jackie brown is a highly anticipated feature film from quentin tarantino , whose last film was the huge hit pulp fiction . 
after mediocre acting jobs , tarantino returns to what made his name a household one : directing and writing . 
jackie brown is the result , and it is fantastic entertainment . 
despite excellent direction from tarantino , the cast steals the film , giving one good performance after another . 
pam grier gives a stunning performance as jackie brown , and she is supported by an incredible mix of talent--samuel l . jackson , bridget fonda , michael keaton , robert de niro , and robert forster . 
more than likely , you will see a few of these names in the oscar pool come oscar nominations . 
describing a quentin tarantino film is very difficult , as you really can't say much or you spoil it for everyone else . 
i will tread lightly . 
jackie brown opens with an impressive shot of jackie brown ( grier ) in a blue outfit walking through the airport . 
the camera tracks along with her , and ends up revealing her occupation . 
we are also introduced to ordell robbie ( jackson ) , who sells illegal guns to interested buyers . . . 
for a hefty price . 
ms . brown carries the money from buyer to ordell in order to keep the cops away . 
however , an fbi agent ( keaton ) and a local l . a . cop ( michael bowen ) are out to find ordell and catch him while taking the money . 
they try to reach him through beaumont livingston ( chris tucker ) , one of ordell's buyers , but he mysteriously ends up dead . 
they try again through brown , but she is hesitant to admit to any wrong-doing . 
but after unknowingly carrying some drugs for one of ordell's friends ( fonda ) , she is caught and sent to jail . 
ordell pays her bail through a bail bond agent , max cherry ( forster ) , and then wants to find out what she told the cops . 
after she claims to have said nothing , she reveals the fact that she will tell them about ordell in order to stay out of prison . 
ordell doesn't like this , but they both come up with a scheme to throw the feds and cops off their track . 
this scheme seems to be going as planned , but unexpected occurances may or may not foul up their goal . 
revealing more would spoil the fun of jackie brown , and that's the biggest reason to go see a tarantino film . 
tarantino seems to have a fascination with hitmen and unusual predicaments ( and slang terms ) , but they are always done very well and believably . 
his hitmen are normally cruel , but pleasant , in that nasty sort of way . 
they talk like normal people , except for when doing business , and they are rude to their girlfriends . 
of course , this is a tarantino film , and you know you can expect some awkward situations to arise . 
and perhaps the biggest flaw with jackie brown is the slow middle section in which the pace begins to drop . 
of course , tarantino fixes this by moving onto the climax of the film , adding a lot of his reservoir dogs-style storytelling to it . 
things are told from one person's perspective , and then from another , and then from another , each time learning more and more . 
this all leads up to a very interesting conclusion , which decides who is on whose side . 
on the technical side of jackie brown , quentin tarantino directs it with the same style as he did with his 1994 film . 
however , this time around it isn't as nearly as impressive or original . 
the writing , on the other hand , is quite good , although i do find tarantino's use of slang terms offensive . 
the story jumps back and forth in time as in pulp fiction , but it's much more easy to understand . 
his previous film needed a second viewing in order to understand the time differentiation , but jackie brown is very simply to follow , especially considering that the time is given during the "" leaps "" in time . 
perhaps this is a result of the screenplay being written from the novel "" rum punch "" by elmore leonard . 
the dialogue is pretty much intelligent , and all the characters are fully realized . 
the cinematography is very well done by guillermo navarro ( who has worked with tarantino on previous films ) and the editing is very good . 
and as with pulp fiction , the music is a highlight , bringing back memorable songs from the 70s and 80s . 
the acting side of jackie brown is unforgettable . 
the performances are incredibly rich , with hidden meaning behind every characters' actions . 
nothing is quite as it seems , and you can't really tell which side one person is on . 
the real treat , of course , is pam grier who gives an astonishing performance as jackie brown . 
her poor living conditions are superceded by her superior wits , which play an important role in the film . 
watching grieg , i could tell what was going through her mind , even if i didn't know what she was thinking . 
her face portrays a lot of emotion that you can tell when she is sad , happy , or in deep thought . 
bridget fonda gives a very good performance as a druggie couch potato . 
i didn't even realize it was fonda until i saw her name in the final credits ( her performance actually reminded me of heather graham's in boogie nights ) . 
michael keaton comes across very well , as does michael bowen . 
chris tucker has a small , but effective performance . 
samuel l . jackson is very good , but it seems to me that he was replaying his jules winnfield character from pulp fiction ( although much less cynical ) . 
but no matter . . . 
jackson is very strong in his role . 
robert de niro is actually a little annoying at times , but overall he does a good job as one of ordell's perspective clients and friends . 
robert forster gives one of the best performances in the film , as he has one of the most developed characters . 
he is present throughout most of the film , and he holds his own against jackson and grier . 
jackie brown is rated r for language , sex , violence , drug use , and some offensive remarks . 
as a film by itself , jackie brown is a terrific piece of entertainment , with a complex plot to draw viewers in . 
however , one can not help but compare it to tarantino's pulp fiction , and expect great results . 
when compared , it comes up short , but not that short . 
it's a worthy effort , with terrific acting and some impressive writing from elmore leonard and tarantino . 
perhaps the best thing about jackie brown is the discovery of pam grier as a major hollywood actress . 
i can't remember seeing her in anything ( except for a small role in mars attacks ! ) , but hopefully she will get many more roles from this one . 
expect to see her name floating around the oscar nominations ( and hopefully she will even be able to nab one ) . 
"
"1","the makers of jurassic park & the director of speed conjure up a storm ! 
 ( reviewed at eng wah's new jubilee cineplex at ang mo kio ) 
 "" unlike earthquakes , their fury is precise . 
unlike hurricanes , their reach is unlimited . 
unlike fires , there is no way to combat them . 
unlike floods , their terror is sudden . "" 
- excerpt from twister production notes 
i'm sure many of us living in this part of the world have never seen tornadoes ( or twisters ) before . 
i for one , have only seen the devastating effects and footage of tornadoes from news reports on tv and personally , i feel tornado-caused destruction comes no where near the destruction caused by hurricanes and earthquakes . . . . . . . . that is until i saw twister . 
the destruction caused by twisters may be precise ( not widespread but it moves very fast and its path of destruction is unpredictable . 
it will suck in cars , houses , livestock , etc . . . . . 
basically anything in its path that is not firmly rooted to the ground and in twister , you'll get to see all this - close up ! 
twister tells a tale about a group of storm chasers . 
these people are basically out-of-their-mind and for the sake of obtaining data on twister-occurrences , they risk their lives by literally chasing tornadoes , trying to get as close as they can . . . . . that 
is if the tornado does not suddenly decide to change its path towards them ! 
jo ( helen hunt ) is the leader of this pack of kamikazes . 
while they are gearing up for the mother-of-all-storms as predicted by satellite recon , bill ( bill paxton ) , a former co- leader of the team returns to settle some divorce papers with jo . 
apparently , bill has left his rogue-ish days for greener and more practical pastures - as a television weatherman . 
he catches up with his old-self and follows the pack like the good ole days , bringing his wife-to-be melissa ( jamie gertz ) along , a city-bred woman toting around with a handphone . 
jo has finally implemented bills initial idea of a device called dorothy which measurement's of a twister may lead to a better understanding on how tornadoes are formed so that a more reliable early-warning system can be implemented . 
the problem is , the device has to be placed very near the twister , and in its path ( which is practically unpredictable ) of destruction in order for it to function . 
to add to their current challenge , there is another group of storm chasers that is corporation-funded led by jonas ( cary elwes ) and they too have a similar device . 
thus begins the race ; jo's cheap government equipment with beaten-up vehicles against jonas's high-tech computers and satellite link-ups with their sleek , black all-terrain vans . 
plot wise , there are not really anything to shout about . 
twister is as predictable as any summer box-office hit can get . 
there is the danger of the twister , the competition with jonas^os more well-off team and of course , the settling of differences between jo and bill ( this part gives the film its human substance ) . 
helen hunt , bill paxton and the rest of the actors/actresses give only average performances and all of them take back seat to the main thespian in this movie - the twister itself ! 
thanks to the impressive digital effects by ilm ( lucasfilm's industrial light and magic ) , we get to see the terror and destruction caused by tornadoes up close ; from stripping barns and houses to lifting up livestock ! 
jan de bont once again proves his visual abiility ( thanks to his years of experience as a director of photography for action films ) for action sequences . 
like his previous film speed , the tornado sequences ( which are essentially the action sequences ) are well visualised and edited . 
audiences will be holding tight to their chairs everytime a tornado comes on screen ! 
the surround sound effects sure does help a lot in stressing the terror of a twister ! 
 ( the cinema must at the very least support digital sound to fully appreciate this ) twister is definitely an effect-dependent movie . 
now that id4 fever has begun to reside , and people are getting bored of watching will smith whoop et's ass for the umpteenth time . . . . . . twister is your sure bet of 7 bucks well spent ! 
watch it in a good theatre . . . please . 
the flying inkpot's rating system : * wait for the video . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"1","there are times when the success of a particular film depends entirely on one actor's effort . 
often a single performance can turn what might have been a rather mediocre movie into something worthwhile . 
when one of these comes along , i usually try to think about how many other people put work into the movie , that there is no way one person could possible carry the entire project on his shoulders . 
but sometimes there is simply no other explanation , and such is the case with "" the hurricane . "" 
this biopic about falsely convicted boxer rubin "" hurricane "" carter would normally be called "" norman jewison's 'the hurricane , ' "" as per the tradition of referring to a film "" belonging "" to a director . 
but though he does decent work , jewison cannot claim ownership of "" the hurricane , "" because there is one reason this film works at all , and his name is denzel washington . 
washington plays carter , a boxer who in 1967 was convicted of a late-night shooting in a bar . 
jailed for 20 years , he maintained that he had never committed the crimes , but remained in jail after a second trial and countless appeals . 
the situation changed when a group of canadians moved to washington and worked on freeing carter . 
through the efforts of that group and carter's lawyers , he was eventually freed when their case was heard in federal court and the judge ruled that rubin carter had been unfairly convicted . 
the film details carter's childhood , which had him in and out of jail because of the efforts of a racist cop ( dan hedaya ) . 
when he finally got out of prison for good , carter became a rising star as a middleweight pro boxer , seemingly having his career on track , until the police framed him for multiple homicide . 
despite the efforts of political activists and celebrities , he remained imprisoned . 
flash forward to 1983 , when lesra ( vicellous reon shannon ) a young african-american boy , living with a group of canadian tutors , reads the book carter wrote while in prison . 
the book , entitled "" the sixteenth round , "" opens young lesra's eyes to the injustice that was carter's life , and he vows to help free the incarcerated boxer . 
lesra convinces his canadian friends ( deborah unger , liev schreiber , john hannah ) to work with him towards his goal . 
 "" the hurricane "" leans on denzel washington . 
he must carry virtually every scene by sheer force of will , and he does so brilliantly . 
it's probably accurate to say that washington does not embody rubin carter , because he plays a character far stronger and nobler than any real person could hope to be . 
it would perhaps be more accurate to say that washington embodies the character of rubin carter--a fictional personality invented solely for the film . 
the actor's work is masterful ; washington throws himself into every moment , refusing to keep the audience at arm's length . 
we feel everything he feels : the humiliation of having to return to prison after fighting so hard to make something of his life , the pain of having to order his wife to give up the fight , and the utter despair he feels when coming to the conclusion that all hope is lost . 
washington's is a performance of weight and emotional depth . 
he doesn't merely play angry , happy , or sad ; he feels it at the deepest level . 
his work is masterful , and for half of this film i realized that the scene i was watching would not have been nearly as affecting as it was if it had been in the hands of another actor . 
norman jewison directs the film , doing a reasonably good job of pacing and shot selection . 
 "" the hurricane "" moves quickly , with no scene drawn out much further than necessary and the narrative galloping along nicely . 
jewison handles his multiple flashbacks well ; the audience is always aware of just what the time and place of each scene is , and nothing is terribly confusing . 
his boxing scenes , constructed with clear inspiration from "" raging bull , "" get inside the action very well , and they are believable as real sports footage . 
jewison puts together a particularly nice scene by utilizing a pretty cool trick : carter is sent to solitary confinement for 90 days when he refuses to wear a prison uniform , and jewison , assisted by some wonderful acting from a game washington , shows how carter gradually starts to lose his mind during the constant solitude , and eventually we get three rubin carters arguing with each other in one cell . 
jewison's best achievement in "" the hurricane "" is succeeding at showing how carter becomes an embittered man during his hard-knock life , and how he is able to break out of that bitterness and learn to trust people again . 
sadly , though , the film's chief failures lie with the screenplay , as with most of the good-but-not-great efforts to round the pike this winter . 
there is much to interest a viewer in "" the hurricane , "" but it seems that every time the film gets a chance to take the most clich ? d route possible , it does . 
take a look at the supporting characters , for example , who are drawn up as either entirely good or entirely evil . 
carter and lesra ( played nicely by shannon , who deserves credit ) are the only real people here ; everyone else is a stereotype . 
the canadians are good . 
the cops are bad . 
the canadians spend most of their time dolefully grinning at each other in their lovey-dovey commune ( and it is a commune , despite the film's failure to make that clear ) , while every racist cop ( especially dan hedaya's ) melts in out of the shadows and glowers at every black person that enters the room . 
much of the dialogue comes off as rather hokey ( "" hate put me in prison . 
love's gonna bust me out . "" ) , and the big courtroom climax during which everyone gets to make an impassioned speech could have been lifted from a made-for-tv lifetime special . 
it's too bad . 
the cast is game , the director does his job , and the subject matter is interesting , but the script takes the safer , slightly more boring route far too often . 
i wanted a real reason for the cop to hold a grudge against carter other than "" he's a racist pig . "" 
i wanted more evidence that these canadians are real people with faults and virtues instead of a bunch of saintly crusaders looking for justice . 
in short , i wanted to see the film through a less distorted lens . 
criticism has been levied against the liberties "" the hurricane "" takes with the truth of what really happened to carter , and much of it is deserved . 
for example , the film gives us a boxing scene showing carter pummeling defending champ joey giardello , only to be screwed by the judges , who ruled giardello the winner . 
most accounts of the fight , however , have carter losing fairly . 
furthermore , much of carter's criminal past is conveniently left out of the film , and just why he was convicted again in his second trial is never really explained . 
of course , "" the hurricane "" works mainly as a fable , so digressions from the truth can be excused at least partially , but even dismissing such issues don't remove one fact : "" the hurricane "" is a highly flawed film . 
only one actor could have made a schmaltzy , predictable picture like this work as well as it does , and it's a good thing "" the hurricane "" has that actor . 
carter has been quoted as saying , "" denzel washington is making me look good , "" but he's not the only one . 
washington makes this film look good . 
denzel washington's "" the hurricane . "" 
sounds pretty good to me . 
"
"1","contact is a nobly intentioned but ultimately unsatisfying adaptation of carl sagan's only novel . 
it details the circumstances surrounding the first clear sign of intelligent life in outer space and their effects on the life of a young and idealistic radio astronomer named ellie arroway ( jodie foster ) . 
we first meet ellie at a giant radio telescope in puerto rico , where she is part of the seti ( search for extraterrestrial intelligence ) project . 
her research is quickly killed , however , by her highly political david drumlin ( tom skerrit ) , who disdains "" pure research "" in favor of science with "" commercial applications . 
she goes in search of private funding and is turned down at every step until she pitches her project to a corporation run by the mysterious s . r . 
hadden ( john hurt ) . 
then , with that money just about to finally dry up , ellie is sitting out in the desert near the very large array in new mexico when she hears over her headphones a very powerful pulsing radio signal . 
in the movie's most exciting and believable sequence , ellie and her coworkers determine that the signal has to be coming from the star vega . 
at first the signal appears to be just sequences of prime numbers , then it turns out to be a tv signal of the berlin olympics bounced back to earth from 50 years before . 
further decoding , with hadden's help , reveals another layer to message , containing detailed plans for a massive and complex machine . 
it appears that the machine is a transport that will allow one person to travel to the aliens' home world . 
of course , the big question becomes "" who gets to ride it ? "" 
 ( right after "" who's gonna pay for this thing ? "" ) . 
to boil it down , ellie gets denied the seat in the machine because she bluntly acknowledges her atheism , while drumlin gets to go because he rather insincerely professes his deep religious faith . 
drumlin is killed and the machine destroyed when religious fanatics bomb the launch platform ( apparently to keep "" godless science "" from talking to god , or something like that ) . 
then hadden reappears with startling news . 
he has secretly constructed a second machine off the coast of japan and has reserved the ride for ellie , in whom he has taken a rather paternal interest . 
ellie boards the machine and is transported through some kind of wormhole to a dream-like place that looks a lot like waikiki beach before they built the hotels , where she meets the aliens who take the form of her late father ( david morse ) . 
when she returns home , no one believes her . 
she was not even gone for one second , they say , even though she remembers being gone for 18 hours . 
her story is officially discredited , although believed by a large segment of the public ( who don't even have to know that her computer records of the trip contain nothing but static . 
 . 
 . 
eighteen hours worth of static ) . 
there is a lot to like about contact so i will highlight those points first . 
ellie arroway is a well-rounded character portrayed by one of the best actresses currently working . 
neither the character nor the performance has the same depth as clarice starling in silence of the lambs , but that's a tough standard to meet . 
ellie is interesting in that she is woman defined by a strange array of father figures . 
her real father is an idealized movie dad who does nothing in the film but love his daughter unconditionally . 
drumlin comes across as a distant stepfather to whom ellie is like an irritating teenager who wants to use his toys to get into trouble . 
hadden obviously has affection for ellie , but in the end he seems to see her as his creation , nothing more than his favorite piece on the chess board . 
even palmer joss ( matthew mcconaughey ) , ellie's love interest , takes a paternalistic interest in ellie , seeing her as a misguided person who needs protection from her own impulses . 
the film is technically impressive , especially in the scenes where the message is first received and during the destruction of the first machine . 
the part of the film dealing with the message has the best presentation of real science in a film since the andromeda strain . 
the film falls apart when dealing with its central theme , the dichotomy between science and religion . 
this is a very real debate but contact boils it down to a simplistic level that never really touches on the actual issues involved . 
the film presents science pretty well ( until the end ) so the real problem stems from it presentation of religious faith . 
religious people are presented as shallow caricatures . 
rob lowe plays a ralph reed clone named richard rank ( very subtle , guys ) , the voice of the religious right . 
another religious figure is the fanatic who blows up the first machine ( jake busey ) . 
the only really fleshed-out religious person , palmer joss , is supposed to be a minister of some sort , but his actual faith is left pretty vague . 
i can't even say for certain that he was supposed to be a christian . 
all we know is that he dropped out of the seminary and obviously has no qualms about pre-marital sex . 
the film drops the science ball at the very end , when ellie appears to assert that there are some things even scientists must take on faith . 
in a day and age when the theory of evolution is denounced by the religion right as an atheist "" religious "" doctrine , this is exactly the wrong message to send . 
in a movie dealing with issues of science and faith , the last thing you want your scientist character to do is abandon the principle of scientific skepticism . 
what ellie should have said was , "" you shouldn't believe me . 
not without evidence , and i don't have the evidence . 
i know what happened but you shouldn't take my word alone . "" 
that is the voice of science speaking . 
the character of david drumlin is another problem with this film . 
his attitudes toward pure research project seem out of place for a person in his position . 
also , his profession of "" faith "" before the selection committee is so nakedly and transparently insincere that only a pack of idiots should have fallen for it . 
the last big problem is with the use of real personalities in various roles . 
the media figures , such as bernard shaw and jay leno aren't so bad , in as much as their participation was voluntary . 
the use of bill clinton , however , should give anyone pause . 
first of all , lifting the image of a sitting head of state and inserting him into a fictional story line , thus using his words outside of the context in which they were spoken , is just plain creepy . 
also , using the real president places this film between 1993 and 2001 , forever dating it . 
people watching this film in the future will say , "" hey , this never took place during clinton's term . "" 
this bit of unreality will jar people out of their suspension of disbelief . 
also , the level of technology portrayed in the film is too advanced to take place before the first decade of the next century . 
better to have had a fictitious president played by an actor or no president at all . 
the film does raise an interesting question , although it never develops it in a satisfying way . 
if we were picking an emissary to send to an alien culture , would an atheist be automatically disqualified just because ninety percent of the population of the world professes a belief in god , or at least some form of supernatural creator ? 
personally , i would hope not , since religion is basically an opinion , a form of ideology . 
i would not want any form of ideological test for such an import task . 
"
"1","david cronenberg presents us with another strange tale crawling out of his impressively twisted head . 
it is one of many science fiction films , released during the last year of this millenium , that tackles issues that will play an important role in our future . 
the story unfolds in a near future , where the line between reality and virtual reality blurs . 
the world of the future is an unfriendly place , where the scared inhabitants are "" hiding "" in virtual reality fantasy games to escape the uncertainty of the real world . 
allegra geller ( jennifer jason leigh ) , the leading game designer in the world , is testing her new virtual reality game , existenz with a focus group . 
as they begin , she is attacked by a fanatic assassin employing a bizarre organic gun . 
she flees with a young marketing trainee , ted pikul ( jude law ) , who is suddenly assigned as her bodyguard . 
unfortunately , her pod , an organic gaming device that contains the only copy of the existenz game program , is damaged . 
to inspect it , she talks ted into accepting a gameport in his own body so he can play the game with her . 
the events leading up to this , and the resulting game lead the pair on a strange adventure in a world where individuality doesn't exist , as the "" players "" are forced to perform as characters in an unknown plot . 
here the reality and their actions are impossible to determine from either their own or the game's perspective . 
i don't intend to reveal more of the film's premise , which is structured as a computer game , with "" tasks "" that the characters must complete to win the game . 
released after "" the matrix "" and "" dark city "" , "" existenz "" has some similarities and parallels that connect it to these films . 
however , "" existenz "" is moving in a different direction , with a premise of its own . 
a combination of dazzling special effects , brilliantly coordinated action sequences and an intelligent and sophisticated plot , made "" the matrix "" a rare and entertaining science fiction experience , with some dark and frightening ideas hidden under its sparkling facade . 
 "" existenz "" has a completely different atmosphere , resembling "" dark city "" , which is darker , more serious and less entertaining . 
 "" existenz "" has the opportunities and potential , but the enormous possibilities are never quite explored . 
after the engaging beginning , it starts to falter . 
while i was watching the film , many left the theatre during the first hour . 
and indeed , "" existenz "" seemed as a complete failure : the actors seemed unreal , the plot and dialogue silly , unfinished relationships and unexplained events followed one after another . 
but the last fifteen minutes lifted the film on a complete different level , explaining all past events , the silly dialogue and the unreal performances within a few scenes . 
and jet the film fails on several issues . 
probably the best written character in the story is a game designer , who would rather spend the rest of her life in a virtual world , than face real life . 
this is a great possibility to create a magnificent character , and jennifer jason leigh stretches cronenberg's script to the limits , but fails because the advantages of virtual reality in comparison to the real world are never shown . 
existenz is not a world of which you might dream about in your fantasies . 
it is not a world worth sacrificing your life for . 
it's a cold , dark place where the "" players "" are forced to interrelate with unreal characters , eat mutated creatures and even murder against their own will . 
it doesn't look like a place worth even thinking about . 
david cronenberg has been the creator of "" the fly "" , "" videodrome "" and "" the dead zone "" , so it's not so hard to guess that "" existenz "" is a violent and gory film . 
besides the regular murders of innocent people , the audiences can enjoy an autopsy of a two-headed mutated amfibium . 
scenes like that have become a trademark for cronenberg and it seems that he can't make a film without flowing blood and foul creatures . 
the way i see it , this is the film's crucial failure . 
it is impossible for cronenbergto create a beautiful world where time , space and problems of our everyday life do not exist ; a place of blooming blossoms , green forests and clear waters ; a place really worth sacrificing your life for . 
because of its lack of three dimensionality , the film looses most of its possibilities , but stays afloat because of some interesting scenes , amusing performances ( especially by willem dafoe ) and one interesting and important thought , depicted in many different ways throughout the movie . 
during the film , the audience is as confused as the characters : detached from their everyday existence and no longer able to see the difference between the real world and the alternative reality that they have created . 
 "" the matrix "" , despite of its many dark and disturbing thoughts , ends with a light at the end of the tunnel . 
 "" existenz "" does not . 
it is a one time experience , ending in blood , gore and madness - a rather frightening forecast for tomorrow . 
"
"1"," "" seven "" is one of the best mystery movies i've ever seen . 
it's extremely intriguing and suspenseful , but it's also quite fun . 
it's a serial killer mystery , but you don't care so much about making the killer pay as much as hope they just catch the killer . 
the story is a cops-on-the-trail-of-serial-killer mystery . 
someone is murdering people who are offenders of "" the seven deadly sins . "" 
a fat man ( gluttony ) was forced to eat himself to death , a lawyer ( greed ) is slaughtered by his own rich possessions . . . 
i could go on but revealing any more would give away entirely too much . 
what makes this film so unique is the characterization of the "" good guys "" which makes the unseen villain seem so vile . 
brad pitt stars is quite excellent as detective david mills , the cocky rookie . 
however , morgan freeman is even better as detective william sommerset , the wise veteran on the verge of retirement ( and he doesn't get killed by the end ) . 
there is a great sense of camaraderie here which often provides for a breath of comic relief . 
this is impressive because the mood is so tense , and the fact that it can be down-played as well as it is here ( let alone at all ) is quite an accomplishment . 
the setting takes place in present day new york city but the art direction is able to give the city a feeling of the evil , scary place many believe it to be . 
the production design is superb , in the spirit of "" batman "" and "" the crow , "" this film embodies the gothic mood . 
the way the words fade in and out , along with the freaky nine inch nails music really add a lot to the story on a subconscious level - even the credits are scary ! 
the killer's victims have no connections at all , and thus mills and sommerset don't have much to go on to solve the case . 
they can only wait for the next murder to occur which makes for tremendous suspense . 
we become just as tense and worried as the detectives because of this thick atmosphere of the unknown . 
not that many films have such an interesting and intriguing screenplay as this . 
the only problem i had with the film is the way in which mills and sommerset are lead to a suspect . 
let's just say it seems a little too "" mystery movie , "" or too convenient in other words . 
when they are led to a suspect by the name of john doe , a terrific chase scene ensues . 
this is a typical thrilling element , but it works perfectly here because of the process of the story . 
if anything , this film is the epitome of twist endings . 
i don't have to tell you mills and sommerset finally catch the criminal , but the way in which this happens is surprising . 
there is a scene of intriguing philosophy between the killer and the detectives , and even though he's obviously insane , his charisma makes for some good points . 
what's even more surprising is the last few scenes themselves as the suspense comes to a terrific climax as the film's resolution comes down to a question of what justice really is . 
 "" seven "" is not just a film about crime , but about the evil within man . 
john doe felt he was doing society a favor by ridding it of "" scum . "" 
but as justified as he makes himself seem , we must never be tempted by such twisted ideals of justice . 
"
"1","after hearing reviews for woody allen's upteenth movie in history , "" celebrity , "" range from terribly boring to just so-so , my heart lept when the opening images of the film closely resembled that of "" manhattan , "" my personal favorite from my personal favorite director of all time . 
woody allen's films almost never rely on visual flair over textual flair , so when one of his films closely resembles the one time that these two entities fit hand-in-hand ( "" manhattan "" really is one of the best-looking films i've ever seen , beautiful black and white photography of the city's best areas , etc . ) , a fan can't help but feel visibly moved . 
the film opens up , with the usual credits with plain white font over black backgrounds , and an old ironic standard playing on the soundtrack , but then the screen fills with a gorgeous dull gray sky , with the word "" help "" being spelled with an airplane . 
beethoven's 5th blasts on the soundtrack . 
the city seems to stop to take notice of this moment , and it's all rather lovely to look at . 
and then we cut to a film crew , shooting this as the film's hilariously banal key moment in the film , where the lead actress in the film ( melanie griffith , looking as buxom and beautiful as ever ) has to realize something's wrong with her life or whatever . 
it's a terribly stale scene for a woody allen film , with the great opening shots or without , and my heart sank and i soon got used to the fact that once again , a new film of his was not going to be as great as his past works ( though , for the record , last year's "" deconstructing harry "" came awfully close ) . 
what the hell has happened to him ? 
the man who once could be relied on for neurotic freshness in cinema has not become less funny , but his films have become less insightful and more like he tossed them together out of unfinished ideas . 
 "" bullets over broadway , "" though wonderful , relies on irony to pull a farce that just never totally takes off . 
 "" mighty aphrodite "" is more full of great moments and lines than a really great story . 
 "" everyone says i love you "" was more of a great idea than a great film . 
even "" deconstructing harry "" is admittingly cheap in a way , even if it does top as one of his most truly hilarious films . 
if anything , the reception of "" celebrity "" by everyone should tip allen off to the fact that this time , it's not the audience and critics who are wrong about how wonderful his film is : it's him . 
 "" celebrity "" is , yes , a good film , but it's only marginally satisfying as a woody allen film . 
instead of creating the great woody allen world , he's created a world out of a subject he knows only a bit about . 
and he's fashioned a film that is based almost entirely on his uninformed philosophy of celebrities , so that it plays like a series of skits with minor connections . 
it's like "" la dolce vita "" without the accuracy , the right amount of wit , and the correct personal crisis . 
woody , becoming more insecure in his old age , choses to drop the woody allen character in on the world of celebrities , and then hang him and all his flaws up for scrutiny , and does this by casting not himself but brit actor kenneth branagh in the lead . 
much has been said about his performance - dead on but irritating , makes one yearn for the real thing , blah blah blah - but to anyone who actually knows the woody allen character knows that branagh's performance , though featuring some of the same mannerisms ( stuttering , whining , lots o' hand gestures ) , is hardly a warts-and-all impersonation . 
branagh brings along with him little of the woody allen charm , which actually allows for his character's flaws to be more apparent . 
woody's a flawed guy , and we know it , but we love him anyway , because he's really funny and really witty and really intelligent . 
branagh's allen is a bit more flat-out bad , but with the same charm so that , yes , we like him , but we're still not sure if he's really a good person or not . 
his character , lee simon , is first seen on the set of the aforementioned movie , hits on extra actress winona ryder , then goes off to interview griffith , who takes him to her childhood home where he makes a pass at her , and she denies him . . . sorta . 
we then learn , through flashbacks , that lee has been sucked into trying to be a celebrity thanks to a mid-life crisis and an appearance at his high school reunion . 
he has since quit his job as a travel journalist and become a gossip journalist of sorts , covering movie sets and places where celebrities congregate , so that he can meet them , and maybe sell his script ( a bank robbery movie "" but with a deep personal crisis "" ) . 
as such , he has divorced his wife of several years ( allen regular judy davis ) , and continues on a quest for sexual happiness , boucing from girlfriend to girlfriend and fling to fling over the course of the film . 
after griffith comes his escapades with a model ( charlize theron ) who is "" polymorphously perverse "" ( glad to see allen is using new jokes , ha ha ) , who takes him for a wild ride not different from that of the anita ekberg segment of "" la dolce vita . "" 
following are his safe relationship with smart working woman famke janssen , a relationship that almost assures him success , and his continued escapades with ryder , whom he fancies most of all . 
his story is juxtaposed with that of davis , who flips out , but stumbles onto happiness when she runs into a handsome , friendly tv exec ( joe mantegna ) who lands her a job that furthers her career to national status . 
while lee is fumbling about , selfishly trying to ensure his own happiness , davis becomes happy ( "" i've become the kind of woman i've always hated . . . and 
i'm loving it . "" ) 
without doing a thing . 
the result is a film of highs and mediums . 
the mediums are what take up most of the film , with sitations and scenes which don't exactly work but you can't help but pat allen on the back for trying . 
but other places are really great scenes . 
the opening . 
the sequence with theron , which is so good that i wished it hadn't ended . 
a banana scene with bebe neuwirth ( droll as ever ) . 
and , perhaps the best sequence : a romp with hot-as-hell teen idol , brandon darrow , played by none other than leo dicaprio , who is so un-dicaprio-esque that if any of this fans could sit through this film , they'd never look at him the same way . 
he ignites the screen with intensity , and spares nothing in showing his character as narcissistically tyrannical , and totally heartbreaking for lee , who comes to him to talk about his script that he has read , and finds himself on a wild all-day ride with him . 
they go to atlantic city to watch a fight , they gamble , and they wind up in his hotel room , where darrow gets it on with his flame ( gretchen mol ) and he lends him one of the leftover groupies . 
allen's writing in these scenes are so good that just for them , i'd almost recommend the film . 
almost . 
but what i really liked about this film is despite the fact that it's a mess , despite the fact that what this film really needs is a good old fashioned rewrite by allen himself , it's still a smart and insightful film . 
though some of the jokes are either stale or misplaced ( some seem too cartoonish , even for this environment ) , allen still manages to get across that this film is not exactly about celebrities , as it may seem to be ( if it were , it'd be extremely out-of-touch ) , but about those who want to be celebrities , and how they equate celebrity-hood with happiness . 
we never get close enough to the actual celebrities to see if they're really happy ( they may appear to be on the surface . . . ) , but we do get close enough to lee and davis' character . 
lee is obsessed with the phenomenon , while davis takes is at arm's length , and never gets too involved in what it is , and soon becomes one herself . 
besides , it's witty , and it does have the one thing that no other film has but allen's : that great woody allen feel . 
it may be not exactly fresh and lively or totally brilliant in its depiction of its subject , and yes , as a part of woody allen's oeuvre , it's merely a blip ( no "" annie hall "" but it's no "" shadows and fog "" either ) , but it goes to prove that no one can make a film like him , and only he and maybe godard could possibly take a totally horrible metaphor , like the one in the beginning , and make it work not once but twice . 
"
"1","an astonishingly difficult movie to watch , the last temptation of = christ may be scorsese's most important film , and yet his most = impossibly abstract as well . 
scorsese presents the life of jesus = christ , through nikos kazantzakis' novel , which details the life of = christ from approximately 20 until the day of crucifixtion . 
jesus of = nazareth ( dafoe ) is a carpenter , who opens the film making crosses , so = that he can escape the fate he is subjected to , his destiny on earth . 
= yet , he soon learns his evil ways for aiding in the deaths of others , = and subjects himself to a desert in exile , in hopes that he can reach = god . 
before leaving , he asks for forgiveness from mary magdelene = ( barbara hershey ) , a prostitute who is also a childhood friend of jesus . 
= =20 
after going to the desert , christ learns his true purpose in life , = and what he must do . 
aided by judas ( keitel ) , he sets off on teaching = the world his message . 
along the way , he meets john the baptist , the = rest of the prophets , and tries to teach the world his message . 
christ = is also confronted by internal demons and self-doubt , as he tries to = find his true purpose throughout the entire film . 
during the story , = judas is the closese ally of jesus : his betrayal , argues the film , was = not out of hate , but out of love , in order to allow christ to die . 
=20 
he is eventually captured , and crucified as per the bibile . 
= however , as he is about to die on the cross , he is saved by a girl , who = brings him to his marriage with mary magdelene . 
the girl is a guardian = angel who is from god , and who has saved him from his death . 
jesus goes = on to live a life as a man , as a carpenter , and does not die on the = cross . 
on his deathbed , in the final moments of his life , he is visited = by the prophets , and by judas , who denounces his master for "" not keeping = his end of the bargain . "" 
judas reveals the angel to truly be the devil , = and the life jesus had lived to be the ultimate selfish act . 
jesus = escapes from his deathbed , and asks his father for forgiveness , for = succumbing to his last temptation . 
visually and aurally , the film is absolutely breathtaking . 
no other = director has even come close to realizing jerusalem during the time of = christ's life to the screen . 
peter gabriel contributes a score than is = simply astonishing , with pulsing rhythms that capture the viewer . 
the = performances are simply exquisite , with dafoe leading the way with a = mesmerizing turn as jesus . 
keitel , although his accent is a problem , is = passionately brilliant , fighting through language to bring the character = to life . 
the visuals are also amazing . 
scorsese frames his movie in a = harsh tone , leaving the impression that jesus truly is a man who is = having human frailties . 
the film , though , has many trouble spots . 
paul schrader's script is = one . 
schrader uses modern-day new york english to tell the story , along = with new york words , new york mannerisms , and new york slang speech . 
= the film also does not focus on the godly aspects of christ . 
there is = no underlying message behind the man's words . 
the film fails to capture = the glory and splendor of christ . 
had it faithfully explored that = aspect , than the dichotomy of jesus' soul , his frailties and doubt mixed = with his unmistakable glory , would have been simply spectacular . 
the = message of christ is confused between love and violence , and the film = merely tells us jesus is great , instead of showing us his greatness . 
the film is also overlong . 
it just drags in the middle , with = nothing truly happening . 
christ is a confused figure , in the sense that = the audience doesn't know who he really is . 
schrader forgets to give = jesus a message , to show that he truly is the messiah , to give him the = divinity . 
without that , he is a rambling prophet , who the audience = themselves do not believe . 
there are several moments of accidental = hilarity , and most of them occur when jesus is attempting to preach . 
= there are moments of brief awe and power , followed by moments of = confused hilarity . 
that said , the controversial temptation sequence is something to = behold . 
it is a step in an unexpected direction , one that leaves the = audience puzzled , until the arrival of the disciples . 
it is a simply = breathtaking scene , with jesus about to die as a mortal . 
it is truly = one of scorsese's finest moments . 
it is unfortunate that scorsese = couldn't make a film about christ as powerful as that one scene . 
=20 
"
"1","call me crazy , but i don't see saving private ryan as the film of the summer . 
a good movie , yes , with chillingly realistic battle scenes and emotion to spare . 
an utterly riviting movie on par with steven spielberg's best work , no . 
personally , if i was spielberg , i wouldn't go back to the world war ii era one more time after schindler's list and the indiana jones movies . 
i'm guessing steve has a thing for nazis ; i really wouldn't be surprised if a velociraptor ate one of the swastika-wearing dudes in the next jurassic park movie . 
all lofty pretenses aside , saving private ryan is the goriest movie this side of a 1980s slasher flick . 
the difference is , it's easy during friday the 13th to laugh off a spear sticking out of kevin bacon's chest while blood spurts like crazy , but it's damn hard to sit and eat reese's pieces while soldiers suffer machine gun bullets to the head and have their intestines spilled out onto the battlefield . 
and believe me , there's plenty of it . 
a 30-minute sequence at the beginning of the movie has an army captain ( tom hanks ) and his soldiers landing at omaha beach to join countless other americans who are already under fire . 
lives are lost in seconds as the purposefully confusing and jarring scene goes on and on , and all the young men in the audience find themselves never , ever wanting to be drafted . 
cut to some bureaucratic defense office , where a hundred women pound out sympathy form letters to the families of the casualties . 
one woman happens upon an interesting detail -- three brothers in different platoons were killed in combat , and their mother is getting the telegram today . 
i guess it's an interesting conversation piece to everyone but the mother , so the army chief ( harve presnell ) sends hanks on what is essentially a public relations mission , to find the fourth ryan brother and send him home . 
that way , the army saves the postage on yet another telegram to mrs . ryan . 
one good thing about saving private ryan is that the soldiers who are headed to rescue ryan know it's a mission designed to make the army look good . 
they question the worth of risking eight soldiers' lives to save one , and hanks' character admits he doesn't give a damn about ryan ; he's just following orders . 
if this was a john wayne movie , things would be different . 
there'd be a phony , "" let's go get that boy , gosh darn it ! "" 
attitude that would sugarcoat the reality of war . 
by doing things this way , spielberg admits the instincts of self- preservation and complacency that every normal person has . 
it makes saving private ryan a lot more powerful than an testosterone-driven stallone movie mission . 
the movie's pattern is to have long battle scenes followed by quiet scenes of semi-introspective conversation among the soldiers . 
hanks is painted first as a nails-tough army man careful to hide his true self from the other men . 
it's not that way for long . 
edward burns , the guy you get for your movie when ben affleck isn't available , is the impulsive one . 
jeremy davies plays the translator who is seeing combat for the first time , and so on . 
none of the characters are fascinating or natural born heroes , but was spielberg's obvious intention . 
i wondered when i heard saving private ryan was three hours long , how were they going to fill three hours' time searching for one person and still make it interesting ? 
there are a few false starts ; hanks finds one private ryan in ted danson's company ( apparently , danson joined the army after "" ink "" was canceled . ) and breaks the bad news before learning it's the wrong ryan . 
and of course the movie's far from over when hanks does locate ryan ( matt damon , the other guy you get when affleck isn't available ) . 
that's when the movie turns into more of a conventional war flick , although body parts and limbs still fly like never before . 
saving private ryan is worth your time , but it's definitely no schindler's list . 
the battle scenes are intense and realistic , but some of the attempts at sincere emotion aren't . 
the movie's bookends are particularly cheesy and out of place , when an old private ryan goes to the cemetary with his family and bawls his eyes out , whining , "" tell me i've led a good life . 
tell me i'm a good man . "" 
spielberg was apparently following the james cameron line of thought that any three-hour movie about the past should be framed by a self-contained prologue and epilogue that takes place in the present . 
much more effective are subtler scenes , like the one where several of hanks' men are rifling thrugh a bag of dogtags from dead soldiers , and they make light of what they're doing by pretending they're playing poker . 
this while an airborne division marches by , their eyes full of that mound of dogtags . 
by not explicitly pointing out that it symbolizes the random poker game that life and death can be in war , the audience gets the message . 
and even if it's not a classic , saving private ryan is definitely one of the better war movies out there . 
"
"1","seen august 8 , 1998 at 6 p . m . at rotterdam square cinemas ( rotterdam , ny ) , theater #6 , by myself for free using my sony/loews critic's pass . 
[theater rating : * * * : good seats , sound , and picture] 
war is a topic that can't help but be glorified any way it is portrayed by the media . 
movies , documentaries , and even history books have a way of making the darker side of humanity exciting since the most general aspects are focused on , such as strategy , politics , and victory . 
it's easy to forget war , in its most basic form , is a battle of armies out to slaughter each other . 
forgotten more easily is the fact that each soldier , no matter what his rank or importance , is a real flesh-and-blood person and not just a number . 
 "" saving private ryan "" is one of the few films that dares play up this aspect , especially in its unapologetic , realistic delivery . 
it proves there's a huge difference between battling and killing . 
the film opens with one of the most graphic , disturbing scenes in recent memory . 
it's world war ii , d-day to be exact , and the u . s . military is invading omaha beach where the nazis are more than ready for them . 
spielberg uses many techniques to create for a total sense of reality . 
instead of positioned cameras , the footage here seems to have been shot by camera operators running alongside soldiers as if they were just as scared . 
there is no sense of stability , but of constant , anxious , and confusing motion , giving us the feeling of being in the middle of the battle , and just a vulnerable as the poor troops . 
 "" poor "" is a proper word to describe how pathetic and yet innocent the men fighting are . 
there is little to no dialogue throughout the loud battle and no prologue to define any characters . 
we don't get the feeling these are handsome actors playing heroic roles , but that these are men about to kill and be killed for reasons beyond their understanding . 
the nazis are not portrayed as enemies to be hated , but as people that must be destroyed because they're there . 
in the movies , the good guys can run through a firestorm of bullets and bombs and not get a scratch , but in reality that wouldn't happen . 
the men have nothing to shield or protect them besides some metal flanks and dead bodies . 
they are sitting ducks and we realize this through the perspective of the well-secured germans who can actually see who , what , and where they're shooting , unlike the americans who must fire in a general direction to avoid getting their heads blown off . 
perhaps the film is flawed by not providing any backstory on the war itself and who the men really are , but that seems to be part of the theme . 
the film seems to rely on the audience's sense of patriotism , that the american military is "" right "" and good and that the nazis are "" inherently evil . "" 
the battle scene eventually focuses on a group of men who have miraculously survived and made their way close to the enemy stronghold ( a whole 50-foot progression ) , and begin to inflict some damage . 
i have to admit that once the first glimpse of victory over the nazis sprang up , i couldn't help but feel some sense of joy and relief . 
to triumph against all odds is a cliche to be sure , but there's nothing cliche about the graphic , detailed , atmosphere here because it really happened . 
one of the most surprising aspects of the film is how little story construction there is , and yet the events that take place make sense and are interesting . 
the plot is practically irrelevant since the film is more concerned with the reality of the war and the soldiers we meet . 
tom hanks stars as captain miller , a relatively average man who happens to be the leader of a platoon . 
he's never obsessive or any such generic , cartoonish characteristic that might dominate a character like this . 
he doesn't want to be there any more than his men , but when he is given a mission he intends to carry it out . 
the mission the film is concerned with is , as the title states , saving private ryan . 
through a series of command started by an ordinary clerical worker , it is brought to a general's attention that three brothers from iowa have been killed in action and their mother will receive notices of each's death simultaneously . 
when they learn a fourth brother is stationed somewhere in europe , they make it a top priority to have him returned safely to his mother . 
it's easy to sympathize with this situation , after all , no one should have to lose all their children at once . 
but finding one man in this war is , as miller puts it , "" like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles . "" 
the saving of private ryan isn't just a dramatic device , but a thematic one . 
his salvation represents the sense of innocence the country , the world even , was trying to convince itself it still had . 
when miller's company hears of the mission , they scoff at the idea assuming he is dead , but miller isn't so quick to shrug it off . 
he knows the only thing that can really save soldiers from death is hope , and now he has the opportunity to make someone's sense of hope a reality . 
the mission to find ryan gives miller's group a destination , but not direction . 
along the way many things happen to them , both good and bad . 
a few battles are fought , not to be major accomplishments for the war , but because they encounter german soldiers and have no other choice . 
the act of killing itself becomes one of the film's major philosophical metaphors . 
the soldiers don't mind killing other soldiers in blind battle , but when they come across a lone survivor who begs them to let him go , they can barely stop themselves from killing him in cold blood as some kind of vengeance for their losses . 
unfortunately , death is a fact of war , and most films try to avoid it when it comes to the main characters , but here spielberg doesn't want us to think these men are invincible . 
in fact , only a small amount of color and personality is sketched into each man , and the performances are good enough to make this method work . 
although the characters are somewhat typical , the actors maintain control over the material at all time . 
whether they're arguing with each other , telling stories of back home , or fighting the germans , they never go overboard and always seem believable . 
sure , there's a zinger here and there , but war doesn't change the fact boys will be boys . 
if and when one dies we too can feel the loss , even though we hardly knew them . 
the final act brings the story full circle with another tremendous , violent battle sequence . 
private ryan has been found , but facing four to one odds , can the americans defeat the germans and keep ryan alive ? 
that's not a premise for thrills , it's symbolic of everything the film has worked for . 
it would be wrong to say the film has either a happy or sad ending , it ends the way it must end . 
i remember reading a "" calvin & hobbes "" comic strip where calvin asked his dad something like , "" dad , how do armies of men killing each other solve problems ? "" 
 "" saving private ryan "" is the adult version of that question . 
"
"1","'lake placid' is definately not your typical creature attacking people movie , ok so maybe it is , but this one is enjoyable , and clever . 
actually it comes off more of a comedy than a horror film . 
well the ending is kinda scary , but in most horror/comedies they are . 
i will admit that 'lake placid' isn't an oscar worthy film , but it does come off as an inventive movie that is original and funny . 
bridget fonda plays a palentologist who after finding out her boyfriend is cheating , is forced to go to lake placid and investigate a tooth , after a man is bit in half . 
she gets there but really doesn't understand why she is there . 
bill pullman plays a man also investigating what happened , along with the sherriff and a rich croc obsessed man , they go out and find what is going on . 
what they find though isn't great . 
a huge and i mean huge crocodile is living in lake placid , over 150 years old , he has migrated here for who knows why . 
they have to fight against the croc and try to trap him so they can study him and see where he came from . 
betty white plays a woman who lives on the shores of lake placid , and well you'll have to see the movie to find out . 
her character is very funny and foul-mouthed , which is surprising to hear betty spew words and phrases that are pretty bad , but funny . 
to me the movie came off as a spoof of jaws . 
with the opening sequence , and some others , it is not original and is . 
when you watch this movie , you definately notice the smartness and cleverness of it . 
david e . kelly who is the mastermind of the practice and ally mcbeal , writes this movie with ease and surprisingly does a great job . 
the characters have smartmouths , two foul , and some great one-liners . 
but believe me , don't take 'lake placid' too seriously or you won't like it . 
but it is a movie that can be enjoyed as a fun 'popcorn' type movie . 
but i guess it rates above the 'popcorn' rating . 
sit back , watch the movie , laugh , scream , and whatever you want . 
even though the movie is r , and i put violence and gore . 
there's really not that much gore , but what there is might seem kinda gross to some . 
'lake placid' is a smart , clever , funny , and scary movie that i enjoyed and i think you will too . 
"
"1","a lot of times a three-star film will be my favorite . 
they're usually the kind of movie i can watch most often too . 
they're usually not too deep , allowing for semi-brainless relaxation , and at the same time , not too dumb . 
men in black is a four-star three-star film . 
 ( hope you could follow that one ) 
men in black doesn't wait to get to the fun . 
just minutes into the film we are introduced to agent kay ( tommy lee jones ) , introduced to an alien , and introduced to the the awesome memory-diminishing tool that all mib agents use . 
after all , you can't have alien witnesses running around with that kind of knowledge can you ? 
men in black is , of course , the organization which "" moniters all extra-terrestrial activity on earth "" . 
nypd officer james edwards ( will smith ) , is on a routine foot chase when suddenly the no-good punk he's chasing starts leaping up buildings and blinking more than one pair of eyes . 
the alien delivers the simple message that the world is going to end , and with that , dives off of a roof . 
naturally nobody believes his story . 
 . 
 . 
nobody that is , except for the top secret organization that not even the government is aware of . 
edwards then meets agent kay , the man who never seems to crack a smile , and is introduced to the mib . 
edwards winds up joining the team and is stripped of anything that can point back to him ( birth certificate , drivers license , and even the literal removal of his fingerprints ) . 
james edwards no longer exists . 
meet agent jay . 
agent kay takes the rookie jay under his wing as they go about "" regular "" duties . 
eventually a far more treacherous event comes into play . 
a "" bug "" has landed on earth and is going to wipe out mankind if these two don't ( or can't ) stop it . 
the plot isn't exactly clear , but we know it has to do with a galaxy as big as a jewel or marble being sought after on earth , and that is crucial that the mib find it before the "" bug "" does . 
barry sonnenfeld , who also did the addams family films , directs this nicely . 
it's fun , it's funny , it's action-packed . 
a nice summer blockbuster as it rightfully turned out to be . 
this is one of those movies that is just "" fun "" and can't really be summed up any nicer or clearer . 
will smith and tommy lee jones both do great jobs and both are a blast to watch . 
definitely one of the best films of the the summer of '97 , men in black comes highly recommeded from me ! 
"
"1","what if one of our cities became the target for terror ? 
what can we do ? 
what can america really do about the increasing threat of terrorism ? 
what basic human rights are we willing to sacrifice to prevent another oklahoma city disaster ? 
so far america has been the leading nation , opposing the fundamentalist terrorists around the world . 
it is the land of opportunities . 
it is the land of freedom . 
but what if it became the new target ? 
this dark fantasy has unfortunately a very strong grounding in reality . 
when a special branch of the united states military , under the command of general william devereaux ( bruce willis ) , takes prisoner suspected terrorist mastermind sheik ahmed bin talal , islamic fundamentalists across the world take notice . 
the only warning the fbi receives is a single , cryptic message : "" release him . "" 
then all hell breaks loose in new york . 
a bus is destroyed , killing 25 civilians . 
a broadway theater is bombed . 
hostages are taken at a school . 
as the wave of terrorist activity crests , the president must consider if the only way to save the city and break the grip of fear is to declare martial law . 
devereaux argues against that eventuality , but is nevertheless ready to lead 10 , 000 men into action on american soil . 
another person not in favor of martial law is anthony hubbard ( denzel washington ) , the fbi agent in charge of investigating the terrorist activities . 
his staff is comprised of smart , energetic , intelligent men and women very much unlike the usual group o ! 
f moronic feds we're used to seeing in movies . 
hubbard develops an uneasy alliance with cia agent elise kraft ( annette bening ) , whose department knows more about the situation than they're willing to reveal . 
but the attacks escalate . 
the fbi are helpless , chasing an invisible enemy . 
the land is under siege . 
they have lost control . . a 
terror is coming from within . . 
what's great about this film is that it is made as if holding up a mirror to life . 
it reflects reality . 
and that's why it makes such an impact . 
edward zwick has created a clever , well written and terrifying thriller that may very well be one of the best films of the season . 
the director manages to tell several stories simultaneously . 
and so his film plays on several levels , never loosing focus on its main objective . 
he is exploring the abuse of power , the distrustful relationships that exist between various segments of the u . s . government ( the army , the fbi , and the cia ) . 
he takes a look at the complexities inherent when so many secrets and lies are involved . 
the palestinian community in 1998 new york is treated exactly as japanese americans were during world war ii . 
there are concentration camps and unlawful interments , all in the name of the "" greater good . "" 
in the latter part of the film the land of opportunities looses its heart and soul -- freedom . 
was that what the terror ! 
ists really wanted ? 
this film has evoked protests and objections from the arab-american population in the u . s . and n . y . especially . 
but to me these protests seem unnecessary . 
zwick is careful to not step over the line and make the palestinians typical hollywood bad guys . 
the script is therefore wonderfully balanced . 
agent hubbard's best friend and loyal colleague frank haddad ( tony shalhoub ) is lebanese-american . 
and it is quite often you hear lines such as "" my first boyfriend was palestinian . 
they seduce you with their suffering "" or "" they love this country as much as we do . "" 
but no matter how you twist this matter , you won't get away from the fact that when it comes to world wide terrorism it is arab-speaking population who are in the great majority . 
more to the point , the siege demonstrates the injustice of blanket condemnation of any ethnic group by depicting the unfair treatment of all arab-americans by the u . s . military . 
and thus this film does not serve as a source for discrimination in any ! 
way . 
denzel washington is dashing as always . 
in this role he is much more determined and stronger than usual . 
anette bening is enjoyable and believable as a shadowy cia operative who prefers espionage , a network of snitches and seduction to gather information . . 
bruce willis is terrifying as the sadist , hungry for power , that never looses his connection with the audience , since his point of view is not too hard to understand . 
the film is elegantly shaped . 
the scenes are easily floating into each other and the film never seems overlong . 
zwick knows exactly how to provoke tension , horror and emotions and does it with a rarely observed professionalism . 
he tightens the intensity as the events progress . 
and when a plot twist comes , it actually is surprising . 
it is not a film drained in patriotism , like the work of roland emerich . 
nor is it a film that portrays explosions purely for entertainment values . 
it is a daring picture that has courage enough to undertake such a risky story and difficult journey . 
it has courage enough to get involved in politics . 
it questions our foreign policies , mentality and defense . 
i must admit that it ends rather disappointing , as the director turns the patriotism way up and innovation down . 
but despite of that , it is certainly an intelligent and thrilling film that provokes emotions and thoughts ; a virtue that few summer films can boast of . 
 "" this is the u . s . army . 
it's a broadsword , not a scalpel . 
believe me , you do not want us in an american city "" - gen . william devereaux , "" the siege "" 
"
"1"," "" desperate measures "" was something i was excited about seeing back when it was originally scheduled to be released : summer '97 . 
for some reason , it was delayed until hollywood's traditional dumping ground : january . 
now that it's out , i see no real reason for that delay , as it's a simple yet highly entertaining film . 
michael keaton stars as a maniacial murderer who's bone marrow can save the life of the dying son of a san francisco police detective ( garcia ) . 
keaton agrees to the transplant , only so he can attempt escape . 
he succeeds , in a plan that of course could only work in the movies . 
the police force is now trying to kill keaton , while garcia is working against them trying to keep keaton alive in order to save his son . 
the film definately has it's flaws . 
the plot is strictly tv movie of the week fare , but the acting and direction certainly boost it far above that status . 
also , after keaton's escape , garcia's captain barks at him "" how many men have to die to save your kid's life ? "" 
which the film treats as such an evil and insignificant remark . 
the thing is , it's a vaild point . 
how many people have to be needlessly crippled , burned , and killed just to save this one child ? 
what's the greater good here ? 
many lives or one life ? 
if movies really had guts nowadays , i would have loved to have seen this movie come down to a final choice for garcia's character . 
place him in a situation where he knows that he has to kill keaton because keaton is about to kill someone else . 
alas , movies these days generally have no such ambition to pull the audience's strings in ways which might make the uncomfortable . 
despite a few silly moments ( and one or two really stupid ones ) , the good things about "" desperate measures "" outnumber the bad . 
the main highlight would be keaton's performance . 
the character could have easily been an overacting , scene chewing freak , but keaton underplays it nicely . 
he's not as menacing as he was in "" pacific heights "" or even as menacing as he was in "" batman "" ( yes kids , batman used to be a dark character ) , but you certainly get the idea that he's evil . 
even the final scene of the film , which normally i would just hate , seems strangely appropriate for this film . 
so much so that i didn't mind it in the slightest . 
and another bonus : the film takes place in san francisco , which usually means a car chase on those hills that you've seen a billion times before . 
and for a moment , it looked as though it was about to happen . 
but it doesn't , and that's creative . 
[r] 
"
"1","what is a scary movie anyhow ? 
is it a movie where a person gets ripped to shreds ? 
is it where a person is being chased by some damned teenager who wants revenge ? 
possibly its some guy with a hook who wants to know what you did last summer . 
what ever happened to horror movies , where the horror was in the atmosphere , and in the characters . 
movies like "" halloween "" and "" psycho "" which revolutionized horror genre forever , but wait in 1973 came a movie based on the bestselling book by william peter blatty , entitled "" the exorcist "" , the movie opened to rave reviews , and scared audiences to death , now in the year 2000 "" the exorcist "" comes back to the big screen in a version you've never seen complete with six channel digital surround sound , and fifteen minutes of new footage never before seen as long as a new ending . 
chris mcniell is an actress living in georgetown washington with her twelve year old daughter regan . 
while working on a new film , chris still stays close to regan , but starts to wonder why her bed shakes at night , and why regan starts to have convulsions all of a sudden . 
when chris finds out that regan is possessed by a demon , she shuns at the fact of it , but considers getting a priest to help her daughter . 
father karras ( jason miller ) is the man they bring in , his mother has just died , and still in mourning he decides to help this little girl . 
christ , father karras , and their nanny sharon ( kitty winn ) have to sit and wait until a man shows up , that man is the exorcist , and that man will help this little girl . 
excrutiatingly scary , the exorcist is a classic horror film , which twenty seven years later still scares audiences half to death . 
now we get to the experience "" the exorcist "" the way it was meant to be seen in a director's cut which incorpates fifteen minutes of new footage cut by friedkin at the time of the release for content and time , a new ending has been added as well , and adds more of a lighter feeling to the movie , which i prefer the original darker ending more . 
the movie has also been remastered in a wonderful six channel digital sound mix , and is amazing . 
the voices are all clear , the music pours out on you and engulfs you in richness . 
as a director friedkin has been well known for other films , but his standout film is "" the exorcist "" nominated for several academy awards it one a few , but was somehow doubted best picture , best actress ( ellen burstyn ) and best supporting actress ( linda blair ) who at the age of i believe thirteen does a wonderful job of being a little girl , alone , possessed and unable to stop what is going on . 
ellen burstyn i think gives her best performance to date , and can be seen currently in "" requiem for a dream "" to which she is getting rave reviews for . 
jason miller ( jason patrik's dad ) is amazing as father karras , and his performance will be forever embedded in my mind , to me he is the character who makes the entire film float along . 
i was saddened when i saw this film with an audience of mostly younger people to see them laughing at this movie , i in no way , think that this movie is comical , yes some of the stuff regan says is funny , but they were laughing at her head spinning , and the green pea soup , come on people this is some creepy stuff ! 
anyway the re-release of the film has managed to make $40 million dollars , and is still going . 
hopefully one day they re-release it again in twenty years for more generations to come to enjoy . 
"
"1","a wonderful little movie that is really interested in its characters and in its theme . 
the scene of "" second best "" is laid in wales . 
james ( chris cleary miles ) is a 10-year-old boy who must live in a home because his father ( keith allen ) is in prison and his mother committed suicide . 
james is a mentally unbalanced child . 
he can't forget what happened in the past , and he dreams of living a happy life with his beloved father . 
in the home he feels sadly and lonely . 
one day , a social worker ( alan cumming ) tells him of a person who wants to adopt him . 
this person is graham holt ( william hurt ) . 
graham manages a post office and shop in a village . 
he is a single and hasn't any real friends . 
his mother is dead , and his father is ill and will die . 
graham feels that he has been a disappointment to his parents . 
there has never been real love between his parents and him . 
graham's monotonous life would get a new sense if he could adopt james . 
but graham has not only to convince the institutions , but must also win the love of james . 
james and graham have to open theirselves . 
they must get to know each other and learn to understand and trust the other person . 
james and graham aid each other to cope with their problems . 
but will their relationship really have a future ? 
 "" second best "" is based on a novel by david cook who also wrote the screenplay . 
the film was directed by chris menges who had made his directing debut with the very good anti-apartheid drama "" a world apart "" ( 1987/88 ) . 
and maybe , "" second best "" is even a greater picture . 
this precise , richly detailed , sensitively and convincingly directed study about a special adoption treats its theme with great seriousness . 
the breathtakingly intense film shows the necessity of human contact and communication . 
william hurt delivers an outstanding performance as graham holt . 
and chris cleary miles is remarkably convincing in the role of the boy . 
the supporting cast is also fine ( especially jane horrocks as debbie , a social worker who is charged to examine graham's living circumstances ) . 
 "" second best "" is an underestimated masterpiece . 
it's a pity that films like this one are made so seldom . 
i eagerly await menges' next directorial work , "" the lost son "" , which will star daniel auteuil . 
"
"1","this is a good year if you want plenty of sci-fi on your multiplex . 
>from the comedies mars attacks and men in black , to luc besson's powerful the fifth element , and to this , sci-fi/horror that is event horizon . 
 ( more is on the way with contact and alien : ressurection being released later this year . ) 
the story is thus : in 2040 an explorer ship called the event horizon tests out a newly invented gravity drive . 
a device that enables a craft to travel anywhere in the universe , instantaneously . 
this is achieved by creating a gateway , infact , a black hole , between the craft and it's required destination . 
in this case , from near neptune to proxima prime . 
however , when the event horizon attempts this , it dissappears , without trace , leaving two searches for it fruitless . 
seven years later , it reappears , transmitting a distress signal and this is where the film starts . 
a search and rescue ship is sent out to investigate . 
the team is led by laurence fishburne , and joining them is sam neill who plays the scientist that invented the gravity drive . 
as the team search the event horizon , they find no trace of the crew but plenty of blood lying around . 
not a good sign . . . 
to make matters worse , as they search the ship , they find themselves being subjected to a series of illusions based on their own individual inner secrets and worse , some very bloody events start to occur as they slowly piece together the events that transpired on the ship seven years ago . 
it soon becomes apparent that , wherever the ship went , it bought something back with it . 
something very , very evil . . . 
the first thing you'll notice in this film is it's incredible visual effects . 
they really are eye popping , with some great models to boot . 
the acting is quite good , with some occasional witty moments . 
sam neill does a good job as the scientist that increasingly becomes more and more disturbed as the search continues , but a tip of the hat goes to laurence fishburne who leads the team , in a cool , calm , take no nonense manner . 
it is his acting skills that help hold this film together . 
the idea behind event horizon is certainly a good one . 
it starts off incredibly well , but the middle section becomes quite confused and sometimes muddled , leaving the viewer unsure on just what the reasons are behind some of the bloody and bizarre events that occur . 
however , the closing 20 minutes of the film more than make up for this , producing one the most nail biting ( or in my case , straw of my drink biting ! ) 
climaxes i've recently witnessed . 
overall , event horizon is a smart film indeed . 
it's very enjoyable and has some amazing visuals . 
but be warned , the horror scenes , despite being very brief are very , very , gory . 
not for the squemish ! 
"
"1","scarface , a remake of the 1932 film of the same name , is a very gripping and , as far as i know , a true-to-life story of how power and violence lead to corruption . 
al pacino , as tony montana ( for whom the movie is named ) , also provides a brilliant performance as a cuban refugee who comes to america with less than nothing and becomes one of the most highly respected and feared drug lords in miami . 
oliver stone also penned the screenplay in one of his earlier writing roles . 
the film begins by disclosing the story of now fidel castro ordered thousands of cubans to set sail and head for the coasts of the united states . 
many of these cubans had criminal records , such as tony montana , a cocky , fast-talking man who has the look of crime . 
nearly right after his arrival in miami , tony is thrust into the gangster life when he participates in a cocaine buy that goes awry . 
along with his friend and partner , manolo ( steven bauer ) , tony rises in the gangster ranks when he forms a friendship with frank lopez ( robert loggia ) , a high-roller in the organized crime field . 
tony also begins to fall in love with elvira ( michelle pfeiffer ) , who at the time was frank's lover . 
of course , sooner or later in this industry , betrayal and corruption amount into a force greater than anything else , and tony is one of the ones who fall victim to this force . 
this is not before he becomes one of the most respected , and often feared , men in miami . 
tony gets to the point where he cannot trust anyone , and everyone he knows basically feels the same way towards him . 
no one can trust him , and basically , no one does . 
scarface , although incredibly violent , is one of the best crime films of its time and stands out as another great performance for al pacino . 
although he did not receive any recognition from the academy for his performance , it truly is a very good one . 
in fact , his accent and facial movements alone are enough in my mind to win at least a nomination ( although he did get a golden globe nomination ) . 
another element that stands out when someone mentions this film is the profanity . 
a figure tagged to the film boasts that the word "" fuck "" and it's uses are uttered 206 times throughout the film , which is apparently a record . 
the thing is , the vulgarity fits rather well with the movie . 
as odd as it sounds , it's true . 
in the end , scarface is a very powerful film that hits home hard . 
"
"1","trekkies , roger nygard's energetic and hilarious documentary , brings viewers into the world of the star trek conventions . 
the beauty of the film is that it is good old fashion fun for trekkies and non-fans alike . 
 ( the film generally writes off the trekkies vs . trekker polemic as not worth arguing about . ) 
the good-spirited movie trekkies easily forces even the most cynical viewer into fits of uncontrollable , loud giggles , yet the picture treats its subject matter with respect and a certain awe . 
denise crosby , who played tasha yar on "" star trek : the next generation , "" serves as the host . 
in the opening credits the movie reminds us that trekkies are the only fan group listed in the oxford english dictionary ( oed ) . 
 ( the oed cites a february , 1976 caption in the "" new yorker "" as the first recorded usage of the word . ) 
unless you've been to the conventions , i posit that you have no idea of the dedication of some of the fans . 
one pointed out , apologetically , that the stripe on his new uniform was slightly inaccurate . 
others talked about how many star trek conventions they had attended , several dozen being typical and hundreds not unheard of . 
my personal favorite fan is sir speedy photocopying worker barbara adams . 
arguably the most famous of all the trekkies , she wears her uniform every waking hour as many die-hard fans do . 
her claim to fame is that , as a juror on the whitewater trial , she wore it in court as well . 
 "" every day i would walk past the reporters with a vulcan-like stoicism , "" she says , describing her way of dealing with the crowd of reporters who became obsessed with her obsession . 
she doesn't quite understand all of the uproar . 
 "" i'm an officer of the federation 24 hours a day , "" she reminds us . 
her fealty to her hobby approaches that of a religious faith . 
along with the laugher the show evokes , there is an equal measure of sincere appreciation for people with such loyalty . 
and their infectious joy provokes a certain envy of their enjoyment . 
few other avocations could give this much satisfaction . 
these people are having the time of their lives . 
 ( for the record , i'm not a star trek fan although i have seen some of the movies . ) 
the film interviews the various star trek series's stars as well as its fans . 
the stars had thought the convention idea was a lark and would soon fade , but over twenty years later , the conventions are still going strong . 
filled with anecdotes , the show talks about the happenings at the various conventions . 
at one , the actor who plays q was so sick that he thought he would have to cancel . 
after appearing briefly , he drank some water and left . 
they decided to auction off his half-empty glass , joking that it had the "" q virus . "" 
the guy who won the bidding immediately drank the water and screamed to the crowd that he now had the q virus too . 
with dedication comes a certain amount of stupidity . 
not just flitting among people , the documentary takes the time to let you get to know the trekkies . 
one guy is a trekkie cross-dresser , another dresses her cat , and then there is the dentist . 
the dentist has his entire office made up to look like a star trek set . 
he , his oral hygienists , his receptionist , his wife , and his kids wear the outfits all of the time . 
it appears that his workers are permitted to take them off when they go home , but not his family . 
for variety , he and his family do change characters from time to time . 
he says his patients like it . 
well , there was this one complainer , but he had a problem with his bill anyway . 
there are summer schools for klingon with ph . d . linguists to teach the language . 
hamlet is now available in klingon , albeit perhaps not at your local bookstore , and they are working on translating the bible . 
they even sell united federation passports that are real enough that trekkies have used them to fool customs , even u . s . customs . 
the movie bogs down only briefly when it tries to argue the series's larger meaning about diversity and humanitarian concerns . 
sandwiched in-between the levity , the switch in tone doesn't work . 
the incessantly up-beat film ends with a singing elvis impersonator . 
he fits right in . 
trekkies runs a breezy 1 : 26 . 
it is not rated but would be pg for brief sexual references and would be fine for all ages . 
"
"1","if you're the type of person who goes on the submarine ride every time you visit disneyland , you're going to love the hunt for red october . 
you'll also love the film if you enjoy cat and mouse military tactics , or if you're a sean connery or alec baldwin fan , or if you admired director john mctiernan's earlier films , die hard and predator . 
in fact , the only people likely to be disappointed with the hunt for red october are those who have read the book , since films almost never live up to the novels which inspired them . 
the hunt for red october is an epic thriller , adapted from tom clancy's best selling novel . 
set in an era before glasnost , the movie revolves around a top-secret soviet submarine , called the red october . 
the nuclear sub has a revolutionary propulsion system , which makes the vessel silent and allows it to escape sonar detection . 
the red october embarks on its maiden voyage under the command of captain marko ramius , played by sean connery . 
ramius has strict orders just to test the submarine , but he has other ideas . 
he takes the sub and its crew and disappears into the atlantic ocean . 
is he planning to start world war iii ? 
cia analyst jack ryan doesn't think so ; he's convinced that ramius plans to defect to the u . s . ryan , played by alec baldwin , is given three days to prove his theory and find the missing sub . 
the characters in the hunt for red october are paper thin , but the performances , thankfully , are rock solid . 
baldwin and connery anchor the film with their customary vigor . 
sam neil gives a sturdy performance as connery's somber first officer . 
it's ironic to see neil and connery playing russians , since they are both best known for their roles as british agents , connery as james bond and neil as reilly , "" ace of spies . "" 
the large cast also includes scott glenn , james earl jones , tim curry , and joss ackland , plus richard jordan as the smooth u . s . national security adviser . 
the special effects are remarkable , but more than anything , the hunt for red october is distinguished by its water-tight plot . 
screenwriters larry ferguson and donald stewart have gracefully navigated red october through a story line full of twists and turns . 
they keep us involved in the action by unveiling plot strands at just the right moment . 
the movie doesn't get as sweaty or breathless as die hard , because it would rather tell a good story than hit you over the head with non-stop action . 
the finale is rousing and suspenseful , but essentially , the hunt for red october is a superior potboiler . 
"
"1","i was pleasantly surprised by this film . 
with a budget topping $200 million , i was quite skeptical about whether throwing all that money toward one of the twentieth century's greatest tragedies would make a film exciting enough to see . 
how much could you dress up the sets ? 
how many models and computer effects could you use ? 
how much more action could you pack into a ship that sinks ? 
oh , if i've just given away part of the plot for you , go back to school . 
after having viewed titanic , however , i found it to be a well-paced , well-designed , and overall well-made movie . 
there have been many films made about the maiden and final voyage of the ocean liner titanic , but this latest offering from director james cameron is the best i've seen . 
titanic tells its story in two time periods . 
it starts out in the present , when ocean explorer brock lovett ( bill paxton ) and his team are exploring the wreckage of the titanic on the floor of the atlantic , searching for a priceless diamond necklace which supposedly went down with the ship . 
what they find instead is a drawing of a woman wearing the necklace , which is broadcast on the news . 
the woman in the picture recognizes herself and phones lovett , who has her flown out to his exploration vessel on the high seas . 
there she tells her story to lovett and his team . 
in 1912 , rose dewitt bukater ( kate winslett ) , a young lady belonging to society's upper class , boards the titanic for the ship's first atlantic crossing , from southampton , england to new york . 
she is engaged to cal hockley ( billy zane ) , an heir to old money , and a snob in every sense of the word . 
on board , rose feels the stifling trappings of high-society's expectations , and resolves to escape from it all by throwing herself off the titanic's stern , but is saved from her self-proclaimed fate by jack dawson ( leonardo dicaprio ) , a passenger in third-class ( "" steerage "" , as it's referred to ) , who talks her out of jumping . 
although for rose the attraction is not immediate , a love affair soon develops between the two , which endangers rose's social standing as well as her engagement to the jealous cal . 
the story sounds very simple , and perhaps even unexciting , but through solid performances by the leads and good direction by cameron , a good movie comes through . 
dicaprio is marvelous as the young , but worldly-wise jack , playing the role with the confidence usually found in older actors . 
his is a character that is immediately likable , as he knows what he wants out of life and is charmingly able to handle a variety of situations . 
girls are going to swoon over him . 
winslet also proves herself a good actress , delivering her lines convincingly , and the quality of performances between winslet and dicaprio makes the relationship believable . 
the only problem with winslet is that she does not carry herself in accordance with her character's upbringing . 
simply by judgment of her gait , i was distracted from the fact that she was supposed to be an upper-crust debutante . 
rather than demonstrate the poise one would expect her character to possess , she sometimes looks positively clumsy , and it unfortunately detracts from her otherwise great acting . 
billy zane is cast well as the aristocratic snob cal , since he has a certain look that immediately makes you want to hate him . 
his features are such that even when he smiles , there's something mistrustful about him , and when he scowls , he is evil incarnate . 
he's something like a porcelain version of peter gallagher , but a cheaper model . 
like dicaprio and winslet , zane slips comfortably into his role and plays it well . 
backing up zane is david warner as lovejoy , cal's personal assistant ( or "" man "" as they said at the turn of the century ) . 
no matter who else is in the cast , you can always count on a good performance by warner , who seems to be made to play the distinguished gentleman with a gaze of steel and will to match . 
additionally , there are a number of smaller fictional and non-fictional roles thrown in for color , such as kathy bates as "" the unsinkable "" molly brown , danny nucci as jack's friend fabrizio de rossi , eric braeden as john jacob astor , and even bernard fox as colonel archibald gracie . 
nice to see dr . bombay getting work . 
also scattered about are some of the other steerage passengers who are basically in the movie so you can feel sorry for them when they die . 
this by itself may have been largely compulsory in a film about the titanic , but it transcends this status by putting these characters in direct conflict with the ship's crewmembers who strive to maintain order and assure that the first-class passengers are placed aboard the lifeboats before anyone else . 
in this way , titanic possesses a depth not usually found in action pictures . 
you don't just get a love story with a tragedy as a backdrop , but a very real account of class struggle as well . 
as i mentioned before , the budget for this film was tremendous , and it certainly showed in the set dressing and special effects . 
the interiors of the titanic are nearly breathtaking with their elaborate trimmings and intricate detail , and one has very little doubt that the layouts are authentic . 
with regard to the exteriors , i would dare anyone to point out a film in which a vessel has been recreated with such meticulousness or on such a scale . 
cameron actually built a scale model of the titanic in a water tank , but only had room for 90% , and therefore had to computer-generate the remaining 40 feet . 
could've fooled me and everyone else in the theater , as the splicing is seamless . 
also of note in this film is the way the audience is presented with the anatomy of the disaster right at the beginning . 
we are told of where the iceberg struck the ship , how the flooding occurred , the way the ship sank , and why it did so in that manner . 
these technical details serve as a guide for later on when the action starts happening , and allow us to view the sinking with informed analytic detraction , in addition to the more conventional placement in the midst of mayhem and confusion . 
in all , james cameron's titanic is a good blend of love story , history , and action . 
the fact that the film runs longer than most at about three hours is almost unnoticed as the viewer's attention is held alternately by those three main elements , from the movie's intriguing beginning to it's satisfactory ending . 
in box office receipts , titanic the movie will undoubtedly live up to the unsinkable expectations of titanic the ship . 
"
"1","it was easy to fear the worst . 
begin with a classic 1960's television series , add a big budget and an a-list star in the lead role , and stir . 
script , you ask ? 
who needs one , kid . . . 
we've got ourselves a formula . 
that was my fear : a bloated monster without any sense of direction . 
then , much to my amazement , everything that could possibly go wrong . . . 
didn't . 
the fugitive is as lean , taut and tense as anything the action genre has produced in the last several years . 
under the direction of andrew davis ( 1992's under siege ) , the fugitive grips you by the throat from the outset and never lets go . 
expect box office to go through the roof , deservedly , and expect an academy award nomination for tommy lee jones . 
the premise is a simple one . 
dr . richard kimble ( harrison ford ) is wrongly convicted for the murder of his wife after struggling with the real killer , a man with an artificial arm . 
after an escape attempt by some other prisoners during a transfer goes awry , kimble finds himself on the run . 
his one goal : to find the one-armed man ( andreas katsulas ) before u . s . marshall sam gerard ( tommy lee jones ) finds him . 
where the fugitive surprises the most is the script , by jeb stuart and david twohy . 
in a genre where one is almost always asked to allow leaps of logic , the script repeatedly astonished me with its intelligence , its attention to detail and its respect for the audience . 
in an early sequence , kimble sneaks into a hospital to shave of his beard , slick back his hair and change into a lab coat . 
on his way out , a police officer jokingly tells the man he doesn't know is kimble to zip up his pants . 
it's a small moment , but it punches home the urgency of kimble's situation , and exactly what a man concerned about not being recognized might easily forget . 
later , while trying to lose himself in a parade , kimble thinks to drop his overcoat , the most likely way he'd be recognized from behind . 
it's these details which convince us that when a colleague of kimble's tells gerard that he's too smart to be caught , he may just be right . 
credit must also be given to the special effects and stunt coordinators . 
the bus crash which allows kimble's escape is a spectacular sequence , as is a leap from a dam into the water below . 
the action is crisp and brutal , and never romanticized . 
special kudos go to director davis for maintaining a relentless pace which underscores the single-mindedness of the two leads . 
and what a pair of performances those leads are . 
tommy lee jones is nothing short of brilliant as gerard , because he manages an incredibly challenging feat . 
for the first third of the film , there is really no * villain * per se ; kimble is on the run , and gerard is out to find him . 
it would have been very easy to turn gerard into a malevolent , vindictive inspector javert , but that never happens . 
instead jones plays him as a sharp , committed man who's just doing his job , so that when he responds to kimble's comment , "" i didn't kill my wife , "" with a matter-of-fact , "" i don't care , "" we know exactly what he means . 
it's not his job to determine guilt or innocence . 
it's his job to bring in a fugitive . 
this is a well- written character played with relish by an actor at the top of his form . 
the only unfortunate thing about jones' stunning turn is that it's likely to overshadow harrison ford , and that's a shame . 
for his entire career , ford has been underappreciated as an actor due to his pigeonholing as an action hero . 
however , he does a fine job with the less flashy part of kimble , always keeping at the forefront the advantage this man has because of his intelligence . 
the fugitive could only work to its fullest if the two protagonists always seemed to be on equal footing , and ford is up to the task . 
this summer has been loaded with action/suspense films , and most of them have been doing brisk business . 
however , it's time for clint , sean , and various dinosaurs to step aside . 
the chase is on . 
my advice is to catch it . 
"
"1","pollock starring ed harris , marcia gay harden , tom bower , jennifer connelly screenplay by barbara turner and susan j . emshwiller , based on the book "" jackson pollock : an american saga "" by steven naifeh and gregory white smith directed by ed harris 
 * * * for more film , dvd and books about movie reviews , plus annual coverage of the toronto international film festival , visit _film freak central_ - http : //filmfreakcentral . net 
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 "" how do you know when you're finished making love ? "" 
-jackson pollock to a life magazine reporter on recognizing when you've completed a painting 
jackson pollock's "" making love "" quote is famous , but in practically the same breath , he said a more constructive thing , "" it's like looking at a bed of flowers--tear your hair out over what it means . "" 
it took him sixteen words to do as whole dissertations have tried and failed : equate god and abstract art and offer a kind of backhanded comfort to those confused to the point of resentment by the concept . 
the biopic _pollock_ , actor ed harris' directorial debut , reflects the second soundbite in how it accepts pollock's creations as part of the order of things , and should similarly disarm haters of fine art . 
arguably more than any other living actor , harris , who also plays _pollock_ , embodies the archetypal working stiff , and his blue-collar demystification of pollock's labour-intensive art , both as performer and director , makes for unpretentious cinema . 
 ( from what i know of harris , he , like pollock , was not born gifted or lucky ; instead , a strong work ethic is the seed of his success . ) 
granted , it's possible that _pollock_ will alienate those same viewers perplexed by the imponderable "" purpose "" of pollock's splatter series : the common thread between them is a lack of editorializing . 
the movie _pollock_ is all purposeful gazes and silent exchanges dotted by tantrums , but the motivations are left to our own perceptions . 
and it is a sympathetic yet not altogether forgiving film , as illustrated by a disheartening conclusion . 
_pollock_ encapsulates the period in which he fought a losing battle against personal demons ( alcoholism , depression , and the general attendant miseries of an artist ) while finding a place of subconscious expression . 
a brief introduction to pollock's raging drunk side segues into his getting accosted by a fellow new york artist , lee krasner ( marcia gay harden , awarded a best supporting actress oscar for this brilliant portrayal ) , who works from the outside-in , pre-intellectualizing every stroke of her brush . 
in a scene after they have moved in together and established adjoining studios , she asks what he hopes to achieve on his latest canvas , grilling him about the interplay of cubism and surrealism until he says , "" you paint the fucking thing , "" and leaves in a huff . 
by the time they wed , she has become his de facto manager ; it is form marrying function and chaos marrying discipline , a most harmonious collision . 
 ( krasner denies him a baby , indicating that it would upset the balance . ) 
such a union is destined to implode , and i hope i'm not ruining the _pollock_ experience by saying that it does . 
while it is never depicted as a very romantic matrimony to start--pollock and wife channel their passions elsewhere--their symbiosis leaves each other picked dry after several years , and it comes down to krasner suffering one of pollock's conniptions too many : "" you are killing me ! 
you are killing me ! 
you are killing me ! "" 
 ( aside : harris' own wife , amy madigan , is unrecognizable and exceptional as gallery diva peggy guggenheim . ) 
pollock himself moves on to dalliances with younger women like ruth klingman ( the scorching jennifer connelly ) , hoping , one supposes , to catch the revitalizing whiff of youth . 
i love jackson pollock's stuff and i am enamoured of harris' _pollock_ as well . 
it's scrappy and observant ; no coincidence that its minor failings are the occasional invasive flourish , such as jeff beal's hummable but no less lamentable score--i can't imagine that pollock , or anyone , would paint to this music , which puts filling soundtrack voids ahead of complementing the images . 
one of my favourite sequences is an eerily quiet re-enactment of hans namuth shooting that famous pollock footage in east hampton , long island ; the mounting tension is almost comic , as namuth keeps interrupting pollock's process to reload his camera or take a dinner break . 
a more seasoned director might've been too arrogant to admit that not all artists or mediums are created equal . 
"
"1","it's been a long time since walt disney has delivered us a classic along the lines of the little mermaid or beauty and the beast . 
sure , there have been delightful outings like last years hercules . 
but nothing entirely groundbreaking . 
with the release of the studio's newest feature length film , a remake of edgar rice burrough's creation tarzan , disney has plunged into new waters with both maturity and animation techniques . 
it's no classic , but this new tarzan represents exactly what a family film should be . 
the plot is loyal to the original storyline , as tarzan's parents are forced to abandon their ship which has caught fire , and find shelter in the jungles of africa . 
but , they are killed ( offscreen ) by the snarling cheetah sabor , leaving baby tarzan alone and unharmed in his crib . 
found by kala ( voiced with effective gentleness by glenn close ) , a kindhearted mother and member of a gorilla pack , tarzan is taken into the primate group and raised as one of their own . 
we follow the young boy through the years , as he partakes in various adventures with his loud mouth gorilla friend terk ( a very brash but funny rosie o'donnell ) and clumsy elephant tantor ( wayne knight ) . 
of course , in any disney film we are given some kind of goofy sidekick or humorous chum for the hero . 
in tarzan , these characters fill that space rather inconspicuously . 
gags that were magnified in other family films are kept quite minor here . 
most of the characters are amusing without being forced . 
as tarzan grows to manhood , the suspected antagonist stumbles into the picture . 
here , the notorious bad guy is the big game hunter clayton ( brian blessed ) , who's accompanying a hapless professor ( nigel hawthorne ) on an expedition through the jungle . 
of course , there's the professor's daughter , jane ( nicely vocalized by a cheerful minnie driver ) who will help supply the romantic quotient of the movie . 
the thing that blew my socks off about this version of tarzan is the stunning animation . 
directors chris buck and kevin lima have applied a breathtaking 3-d element to the movement of the athletic title character , and the fast-paced editing is absolutely a marvel . 
as tarzan carries jane through the treetops , narrowly escaping a pack of nasty baboons , he slips and slides like a daredevil snow boarder or star surfer riding the big wave . 
your eyes can barely keep up ; it's a fantastic accomplishment . 
the subject matter here is also a notch or two above animation average . 
there are important questions raised about tarzan's place in the world , and all are handled exceptionally well by the screenwriters . 
there is no shred of doubt left to ponder afterward , which is a surprising plus that i wasn't expecting to find here . 
suffice to say , this film will have both adults and children thoroughly entertained . 
the grown-up tarzan is voiced by tony goldwyn , who made a name for himself as the `big mean jerk' from ghost . 
goldwyn is effective playing someone who's not aware of his world's dangers . 
glenn close is also memorable as his gorilla mother , and lance henriksen ( from tv's millennium ) is terrific as the silverback father unsure of how to accept the presence of a human child . 
as the movie's villain , there is nothing particularly special or catching about the character of clayton . 
it helps that brian blessed supplies his voice with game enthusiasm , but he is nothing compared to james woods' hilarious hades from hercules . 
a burley guy with a big gun who just wants to capture the gorillas does not quite constitute for an all-together noticeable screen presence . 
still , this is one great thrill-ride that disney has constructed . 
i never expected rice burrough's work to be transformed so successfully from live action to animation , nor with so much emotional depth . 
parents , along with all the kiddies , are going to find much to like in tarzan . 
"
"1","warning : if you actually wish to see the film , stop reading this and see it . 
while i don't blow any plot details , the more you know about a movie , the more disappointing and built up it becomes ( waiting a month to see titanic did the same thing ) . 
but , in a nutshell , it's a good film . 
star wars episode i : the phantom menace reviewed by vince yim 
never having been the biggest star wars fanatic in the world ( i was more into star trek : the next generation ) , it is difficult to relate to the mass fandom surrounding the latest installment , the phantom menace . 
however , it can't be ignored . 
endless toys lining the shelves , endless news reports , and a multi-billion dollar advertising campaign makes it all the more difficult . 
with the level of this hype , one would recall an overhyped disaster from 1998 , godzilla , which definitely failed to live up to expectations . 
thankfully , the phantom menace does much , much better . 
while the "" first "" star wars trilogy told the story of jedi knight luke skywalker , the prequels backpedal to tell the back-story of obi wan kenobi and a young jedi named anakin skywalker ( who would become the father of luke and eventually become darth vader ) . 
without blowing too much of the story , the phantom menace evolves around a peaceful planet naboo , which is being held hostage by a greedy trade federation , and it's up to two jedi knights ( qui-gon ji , played by liam neeson and obi-wan kenobi , played by ewan mcgreggor ) to free it . 
the phantom menace has taken a literal beating from various film critics , leaving me to lower my expectations somewhat . 
common complaints range from lack of characterization , weak narrative , poor direction of actors , the dated style , and too much focus over special effects . 
still , film critics often apply much historical theory in regards to film criticism , much of which the average film buff does not care for . 
hence , this film is a lot of fun and definitely an improvement over the previous films ( even with the "" improvements "" in the special editions ) . 
there are many memorable sequences throughout the film , ranging from the fast and furious "" pod race "" sequence ( which is a take on the chariot races in "" ben hur "" ) and the many fight scenes involving legions of battle droids . 
utilizing technology that is light years beyond anything made before , special effects and computers are used to create everything from monsters to robots to amazing cityscapes with incredible detail . 
no matter how many times you watch this film , you will catch something new . 
the level of humour is a bit higher than the previous films as well , mostly conveyed through the reluctant hero jar jar binks , who belongs to a race known as the gungans . 
best described as an mr . bean from the planet naboo , he steals the show . 
unfortunately , being that he is a computer-generated character , tells a bit about the direction of the actors ( although natalie portman as the queen is pretty effective , as is jake lloyd as the young anakin skywalker ) . 
with star wars mania at an all time high , there is the risk that the film will disappoint ( i myself had my doubts ) , which this film does have a tendency to do at times . 
there are a few logic problems with the plot , several things are left unchecked , and at times seems to be made only for diehard star wars fans ( although the appearance of the tusken raiders makes for more than a few laughs ) . 
that , and young anakin skywalker is a really annoying character , coming off as a smarmy , arrogant brat ( with such an attitude , it's no wonder why he turns to the dark side ) . 
still , it seems that many people , especially critics , are missing the point . 
the film is some of the most fun 2 and a half hours that you'll blow in your life , which is something i wouldn't mind doing again . 
while it may not have the psychological impact of an academy award contender , who really cares ? 
the film is pure fun from beginning to end . 
and isn't that what really matters ? 
"
"1","it shows that america remains ambivalent over the nature of its political system . 
no major surprise , when j . s . mill in his victorian classic on liberty could not make up his mind over liberal democracy either . 
the americans are wrought by the archetypal paradox under which they exist , the supreme contradiction between the right of the one and the right of the majority . 
small wonder that hollywood's most compelling movies have oft been on the struggle of the individual-underdog against some larger collective oppressive - witness braveheart , born on the fourth of july , rocky , first blood , clear and present danger , jfk , the list goes on . 
there's little of that in singapore - we are barred access to playboy and penthouse both on and off line , though the government's been long worried about the younger people getting "" americanised "" and advocating individual rights and parliamentary opposition . 
the people vs . larry flynt locates the political debate within the greatest social taboo in america - sex . 
does pornography have a right to exist and circulate ? 
larry flynt , the publisher of hustler magazine , thinks so , and obviously so too the u . s . congress which last month threw out a bill to curb pornography on the net . 
but even with such actions , americans remain undecided . 
the oscars apparently shunned the movie because it was an embarrassing and sensitive livewire . 
what they have ignored is actually a great picture . 
woody harrelson as the lead character reprises his role as a to-hell-with-morality , to-hell-with-the-law , and to-hell-with-the-system anti-christ that we last saw in natural born killers . 
and he is outrageous and convincing as a nihilistic atheist who nonetheless loves his ex-stripper wife dearly . 
the latter is played with abandon , conviction and sensitivity all at once by courtney love , who is the real star of the show and really snubbed of an academy award best actress nomination , if not of the award itself . 
edward norton plays their jerky lawyer . 
the relationship between harrelson and love brings out another great paradox - superficially they are immoral outcasts who've had it coming ; woody gets shot and becomes paralysed from the waist down , and courtney dies of aids . 
god's damnation . 
but in the powerful love they have for each other , each standing by the other in turn , the two leads highlight the question how much is the nihilist still a moralist and ( in the american context ) a christian , if they can love and care , and feel just like anyone else on a personal level . 
friedrich nietzsche once talked about how the atheist must uncover for himself the full consequences of atheism by ridding himself of all moral-christian influences . 
to go beyond good and evil . 
this is a great picture , no doubt , and i love it personally . 
because it is moving , funny , ends with open american optimism blah blah . 
but i like it and admire it because it comes from a fine american tradition that dares to raise difficult questions , and call into doubt ideas and doctrines that otherwise are used as catchphrases . 
there are times when movies go beyond the story they tell and reflect something of hidden realities . 
this movie is not so much about larry flynt , but about americans and american society . 
"
"1","the ring is probably one of the creepiest movies i've seen in years . 
but then again , i've always had this phobia of asian born horror films . 
i remember when i was a kid i was scared as hell with those green faced , long-haired floating ghosts donning their white gownseuuugh . 
the ring really brings back those memories and its grips me long after the movie has ended . 
unlike the horror films coming from the west , i'm pretty much used to the gore and visual effects , so much so , they become rather bland nowadays . 
there's really no scary movie from the west for a long time . 
if you have something in mind , please tell me . 
this japanese flick is supposed to be based upon stories written by `the stephen king of japan' , which is also ( i heard ) televised over the air in japan . 
the film revolves around a mysterious videotape which will bring death for sure to the person who watches it , one week prior to viewing . 
a journalist and her husband , stupid enough , tests the so call `urban legend' and ends up having a week before she meets her doom . 
she and her husband then goes on a search for the origin of the videocassette , to get to the root of the whole curse with the hopes of freeing themselves . 
the ring plays on the senses like no other horror film today . 
visual subtlety , minimal music and an intriguing plot puts the audience within an aura of suspense throughout the entire film . 
very well done indeed , especially for a film that does not have a single trace of violence and gore . 
now , thats something budding horror film-maker wannabes should consider looking into . 
just an idea of how visually powerful the film is , it is in japanese and subtitled in chinese ; both of which , i can't understand at all ( ok , i had a friend who gave me a gist prior to watching , but he revealed very little ! ) . 
the twists in the plot , leading to an unforgettable climax ( will definitely leave an impression on the audience ) will have you at the edge of your seat . 
"
"1","deep rising is one of "" those "" movies . 
the kind of movie which serves no purpose except to entertain us . 
it does not ask us to think about important questions like life on other planets or the possibility that there is no god . . . screw that , it says boldly , let's see some computer generated monsters rip into , decapitate and generally cause irreparable booboos to a bunch of little known actors . 
heh ! 
them wacky monsters , gotta love 'em . 
of course , since we can rent about a thousand b movies with the same kind of story , hollywood must give that little extra "" oumph "" to get people in theaters . 
that is where deep rising fails , which is a good thing . 
confused ? 
let me explain : 
despite all them flashy effects and big explosions , deep rising is still , at heart , a good 'ol b movie . 
luckily , it's a very good b movie . 
the worst cliches in movie history are a b movie's bread and butter . 
therefore , things that would destroy a serious movie actually help us have a good time while watching a movie of lower calibre . 
of course we know there's a big slimy creature behind that door , that one person will wander off to be picked off by said monster and we always know which persons or person will make it out alive . 
we just don't know when or how horrible it will be . 
i went to see deep rising with my expections low and my tolerance for bad dialogue high . 
imagine my surprise when i discover that deep rising is actually , well , pretty darn funny at times . 
a funny b movie ? 
well , that's new . 
these flicks are not supposed to make us laugh . 
 ( except for a few unintended laughs once a while . ) 
and before you know it , treat williams , wes studi and famke jansen appear on the big screen . 
hey ! i know them guys ( and gal ) from a couple of other movies . 
cool . 
familiar faces . 
so far so good . 
our man treat is the hero , he'll live . 
wes is a staple of b movies , he is the token victim . 
we know he'll buy the farm but he will take a few creeps with him on the way out . 
famke is the babe , 'nuff said . 
there is also a guy with glasses ( the guy with glasses always dies ) a black person ( b movie buffs know that the black guy always dies , never fails ) and a very funny , nerdy guy . 
 ( ah ! 
comic relief . 
how can we possibly explain having to kill him . . . let 
him live . ) 
after the first fifteen minutes i felt right at home . 
i know who to root for and who i need to boo too and a gum to chew . 
 ( please kill me . ) 
suffice it to say that for the next hour and a half i jumped out of my seat a few times , went "" ewwww "" about a dozen times and nearly had an orgasm over all the explosions and firepower our heroes were packing . 
i'm a man , we nottice these things . 
all in all , i'd recommend deep rising if you are looking for a good time and care to leave your brain at the door . . . but 
bring your sense of humor and excitement in with you . 
the acting is decent , the effects top rate . 
how to best describe it ? 
put together the jet ski scene from hard rain , the bug attacks from starship troopers , a couple of james bond like stunts and all those scenes from friday the thirteenth and freddy where you keep screaming "" don't go there , he's behind you "" and you end up with deep rising . 
for creepy crawly goodness , tight t-shirts , major firepower and the need to go to the bathroom every fifteen minutes from seing all that water . 
"
"1","vampire films , as well as other horror films , are usually dumb and predictable b-movies , meant to scare us by cliches and simple shocks . 
it is therefore interesting to watch neil jordans recent film that is not only visually stunning , but has also a plot worth making movies about . 
based on anne rice's novel , "" interview with a vampire "" is a long , dark trip to hell . 
the film opens with gothic quire and dark streets of present-day san francisco . 
the camera slowly find particular window . 
a shape of a young man is visible in the darkness . 
 "" so you want me to tell you the story of my life ? "" . 
the mysterious man is louis ( brad pitt ) , a two-century old vampire , telling his story to a fascinated interviewer ( christian slater ) . 
his tale opens in 1791 louisiana , just south of new orleans , where louis falls victim to the vampire lestat ( tom cruise ) . 
given a choice between death and eternal life as one of the undead , louis chooses the latter , a decision he will forever regret . 
everlasting life and eternal youth , promised to him by lestat , turn instead into never ending suffering , damned to eternal hunger for blood and longing for peace . 
louis cannot kill with the impunity of lestat , but , to sate his hunger , he must feed , and the blood of animals is not enough . 
eventually , he pierces the neck of a grief-stricken young girl named claudia ( kirsten dunst ) , whom lestat then curses with his unholy form of resurrection so that she can be a surrogate daughter to both himself and louis . 
for a while , they are one "" big , happy family . "" 
but all things end , and claudia's growing resentment of lestat fuels a bloody confrontation . 
when luis and claudia break loose from lestat , they travel to paris , where the euro-vamps santiago ( stephen rea ) and armand ( antonio banderas ) , who introduced them to a bigger world of the damned . 
director neil jordan ( "" the crying game "" ) together with the talented director of cinematography philippe rousselot and composer elliot goldenthal has created an incredible atmosphere . 
as the film begins , there is an incredible palette of colors , beautiful sunrises , lush golden fields , green forests , inky-blue clouds and blending sun . 
when luis is "" born to darkness "" , everything suddenly changes to dark velvet , lit only by the silver moonlight . 
the beautiful production design by dante ferretti , wonderful costumes and art direction by malcolm middleton re-create the multiple historical periods in the film . 
from the renaissance new orleans and the beautiful rococo paris of the 18th century , to our present days . 
the casting is likewise good , involving some of the most famous and beautiful stars of hollywood , ireland and spain . 
the controversial casting of tom cruise as lestat is incredibly effective . 
cruise is energetic , sinister , charismatic , wild and bloodthirsty . 
cruise's lestat likes to seduce young women before exacting his dark red sustenance . 
with alarming swiftness , the victims switch from sexual excitement to outright horror , as his murderous purpose becomes clear . 
 "" . . . kill them mercifully , but do it . 
you are what you are . . for 
do not doubt , you are a killer ! "" 
that is how lestat is teaching luis . 
but behind that furious facade is anger and loneliness that he carries through the centuries and tries to smother with nightly rampages . 
brad pitt is equally convincing as the "" vampire with a human soul "" . 
antonio banderas and stephen rea are effective , but since they play more or less secondary characters , their performances are almost invisible . 
the greatest performance in the film comes suprisingly from the young kristen dunst , who manages to create an incredibly emotional and believable character . 
the world is changing around the little child , but she does not . 
she remains unchangeable - a child for all eternity . 
only her wise , dark eyes reveal her age . 
ironically the film's only miss is the script . 
anne rice's novel is a very interesting read , and her script is rich , colorful and emotional , but it is also tiering and too melancholic , at times resembling a soap opera : 
claudia : "" . . . . is that what i should do ? 
let you go . . my 
father , my luis , who made me . . . who will look after me , my dark angel , when you are gone ? "" 
luis : "" everything will be alright . . "" 
claudia : "" do you really believe that ? "" 
and then they hug emotionally . 
moments like those displayed above and luis' self-pity is a bit tiresome . 
however rice's script is otherwise strong and well structured , bringing up humor and comic episodes , that were more or less hidden in the book . 
when lestat finds claudia's dead dressmaker , whom she has killed , he cries out : "" who will make you that dress now ? 
be a little practical . . . . never 
in the house ! "" 
moments like that are both entertaining and appealing . 
neil jordan's direction is beautiful and sensual as he plays with interesting issues like eternity , homosexuality , love and loneliness . 
his gothic saga is not meant to scare , but to display these issues differently . 
wrapped up in mystery , his new , original picture brings vampire-films to a new height . 
"
"1","this has some major spoilers for the film , so be forwarned . 
the won't appear till later in the article , so you're safe for now . 
eyes wide shot ( 1999 ) running time : 2 hours 39 minutes 2 . 35 : 1 theatrical aspect 
starring : tom cruise ( dr . 
bill hardford ) , nicole kidman ( alice hardford ) , sidney pollack , leelee sobieski , todd field ( nick nightingale ) directed , co-written , produced by : stanley kubrick inspired by : "" traumnovelle "" by : arthur schnitzer 
this is an interesting film . 
i must first off state , that you musn't believe any of the rumors of the film . 
cruise is not a cross dresser , kidman doesn't shoot heroin , and there's not any scene between the two that would suggest that they were aided by a sex therapist . 
the look of the film is to suggest that it follows the translation of the inspired book from the film was written . 
the translation , "" dream novel , "" makes you thing that the film should have been titled dream film . 
there is a noticable amount of graininess to the film . 
rather than complain about it as some may and already have , see it as a style of shooting . 
i would gather that kubrick got on another lighting kick shooting this and shot with as much natural light as he could . 
this and the film looks like it was pushed another two stops to add more grain and brighten it slightly . 
as an auteur and stickler for details , kubrick seemed to be a bit lax on this one . 
the film looks great , but there are a good deal of bloopers/flubs that occur . 
you see lots of boom shots ( in reflection ) and you see the camera at least twice . 
16 months for this ? 
wow . 
reflection is the biggest killer for this film . 
their apartment and almost everything in the film casts reflections and the crew can be seen in these , some quite glaringly . 
one more topic of heated discussion : i saw the "" austin powers "" version , and to be perfectly frank , unless you know where the overlays are supposed to be , you'll probably not see them . 
two girls standing next to each other look a little suspicious , but i can wait for the unrated version on video to see it the way it's supposed to be . 
spoilers below : 
the film itself starts with ( cruise ) bill and ( kidman ) alice getting ready for a little x-mas soiree . 
they go to a quite elegant party in what seems to be a storagehouse for lighting equipment , which is actually an apartment owned by pollack . 
bill runs into an old friend from medical school who is now the party's entertainment . 
soon after , bill and alice are flirting with others at the party , thinking that the other has not noticed . 
bill is called to help with a partygoer who has had a bit too much of a good time . 
the next day , bill and alice , casually smoking marijunana in their bedroom discuss the previous nights flirtations . 
they both discover that they both knew about the flirting . 
bill starts talking about what women can provide in a relationship , and gets alice extremely angry . 
in her hazy state , she tells of an opportunity she almost acted on to cheat on bill , not caring about the possible aftereffects . 
bill gets called away when one of his patients dies , and goes to console his daughter . 
when his patient's engaged daughter makes a plea for his love and affection , he is struck with images of an affair that never occured between his wife , alice and a naval officer . 
he sees "" opportunity "" as a betrayal to his wife , and before they can continue , they are interrupted . 
as he strolls home , he encounters a hooker . 
seeing another "" opportunity "" arise , he follows the hooker home . 
they toy around , but before the act ensues , alice calls his cell phone . 
he breaks the date with the hooker , and heads back out into the night . 
he passes a lounge and notices that his old medical school buddy is playing , so he heads in . 
when he meets the friend , the friend reveals that for extra scratch , he plays these strange parties , while blindfolded . 
bill is intrigued and wants to go to one . 
nick reluctantly sets him up with directions and a password . 
what follows this is a short meeting where bill obtains a costume for this party and meets a young girl , leelee sobieski , and her father . 
the young girl has drawn his eye , but her young age , and the prescence of her father deter this from happening . 
he gets to the party , which is to say the least , a strange affair . 
after partaking in some strange "" religious "" right , women and men pair off for the orgy to end all orgies . 
a woman warns bill in disguise , that he should leave before he is exposed as a fraud at the party . 
he is detained after a second warning , where he is outed for not being in the group . 
after getting home , he hides the evidence of his evenings events . 
unable to carry on in his day , he tries piece the events of the previous night together . 
in the process , he finds that nick has disappeared , his life is possibly in danger , and the woman that warned him has died . 
i'm trying to save a bit of the film here , it's worth sitting through to get to this point . 
this is only about 100 minutes at this point . 
this is a strange film , because despite the events that occur , the film has a strong family message behind it . 
it will be hard to pidgeonhole this film as a certain kind of a film . 
it's got sex in it , it has nudity , drugs , and many more immoralistic values . 
but they all serve to show why they are bad in one's life . 
i recommend this film highly on many merits . 
cruise and kidman are rarely together for longer than 5 minutes after the opening scene , and the secrecy that shrouded the film should hopefully be apparent as to why it was kept once you see it for yourself . 
"
"1","one fun activity for parents during the holidays is to suggest an old film and see if they can interest their kids . 
although black-and-white films are frequently viewed as suspect , ones in color are greeted with more of an open mind . 
and if you can find a colorful action film , even if it is from six decades ago , then there is a real possibility of a take home hit . 
so it was in our family when we wandered over to the classic section of our local video store the other day and picked up a copy of the adventures of robin hood , a high spirited version of the walter scott story . 
nominated for the 1938 academy award for best picture and winner of three oscars for erich wolfgang korngold's melodramatic music , ralph dawson's fast paced editing and carl jules weyl's lush sets , the film is probably best remembered for errol flynn's charismatic acting as sir robin of locksley , a . k . a . robin hood . 
flynn , with his handsome figure and toothy smile , charms the audience while clearly having a high old time himself . 
let me cut to the chase and say that the tape was indeed popular in the rhodes household . 
the littlest rhodes , jeffrey , age 8 , liked it so much that he viewed it at least three times and maybe more . 
i'll let him discuss his fascination with the picture in his usual section at the end of the review . 
simply stated , the film derives its success from being one of the best of its genre , the swashbuckler . 
robin , with a smile from ear-to-ear , fights off a hundred men without a scratch . 
although the picture can be considered as little more than a 1930's james bond , the production values and the acting raise it above that level . 
robin hood is a classic story of rich and poor . 
robin steals from the rich and gives to the poor as every schoolchild knows . 
in this movie , however , he seems much less interested in income redistribution than in fighting for his king and country . 
robin , with his courage and athletic skills , serves as a role model for kids . 
and with the lovely olivia de havilland playing the dreamy-eyed lady marian fitzswalter , the story has heavy romantic overtones . 
filmed in the typical , richly oversaturated colors produced by early technicolor , the flesh tones are overly pink and there few color subtleties , which match perfectly the wonderfully exaggerated acting of the players . 
in scene after scene the picture charms the audience . 
who wouldn't fall for robin as he shows up incognito to win the archery contest , even if the outcome is so clearly preordained . 
and , of course , he doesn't just win , he does so by splitting the other man's arrow . 
watching the picture today does provide some jarring moments . 
sherlock holmes as the villain , sir guy of gisbourne , for example , just doesn't seem right , even if basil rathbone did have a real-life identity outside of his most famous role . 
and then there are those wigs from the makeup department -- so bad , they look like rejects from a mel brooks comedy . 
as was popular in the cinema of that era , people die with the most gentle prick of the sword and without any nasty , bloody holes to spoil the wardrobe or the looks . 
bad guys are banished rather than killed , and lovers go off hand-in-hand , doing nothing more explicitly sexual than kissing . 
the result is a wonderful fairy tale of a movie with delightful , cartoonish figures . 
hollywood rarely makes such high quality family films like this anymore , so try to savor the old ones when you can . 
the adventures of robin hood runs 1 : 42 . 
it is not rated , but containing absolutely nothing offensive , it would get a g rating and is fine for all ages . 
jeffrey thinks the film is "" great "" and gives it * * * * . 
he recommends the movie particularly for people who do not likely bloody pictures -- he hates the sight of blood in movies . 
his favorite parts are the battles and the ending , and his favorite characters are robin and king richard ( ian hunter ) . 
"
"1","swashbuckling adventure that can be enjoyed by both children and adults . 
steven spielberg may not have directed ( he only executive produced ) but his touch certainly is evident in this movie . 
and he knows a money making winner when he sees one . 
the mask of zorro has the hallmarks of a blockbuster : big action , funny comedy , and the pacing of a rollercoaster . 
hopkins plays don diego de la vega , otherwise known as zorro . 
a fighter for the people , he is eventually captured by don rafael montero ( stuart wilson ) , who also , unintentionally , kills his wife . 
the film cuts to twenty years later , where vega still wants to montero dead . 
however , he's far too old now , and trains up thief alejandro murrieta ( banderas ) to become the new zorro . 
banderas motive ? 
to avenge the death of his brother , who was killed at the hands of captain love ( matthew letscher ) who rather tastefully keeps the head in a jar , in one of the more graphic scenes in this family movie . 
with the scene set , the movie goes on full blast , with sword fights a-plenty and witty one liners . 
banderas and hopkins have a marvellous chemistry as the two zorro's , playing each other off with ease . 
hopkins seems to come off a little better , but banderas does some excellent work . 
as the bad guys , wilson and letscher seem one dimensional , but they go through the bad guy shtick in an above average way . 
the audience does hate them , which can't be bad . 
catherine zeta-jones also pops up as hopkins daughter , and although she provides little more than the usual female lead , she delivers a charming , but one note , performance . 
the chemistry is excellent between banderas and jones . 
there's a delightful little scene where banderas and jones have a sword fight , and every swipe an item of clothing gets slashed , until jones clothes fall off all together . 
the director , fresh from the enjoyable goldeneye ( 1995 ) handles the film perfectly . 
the action is well done and fast paced , the comedy put across well . 
the cast help a lot , but the direction is still outstanding . 
although the film is very long , the plot keeps chugging along , and there's barely a dull moment . 
however , the film is a little over indulgent , and it could have been trimmed . 
it manages to hold the attention , thankfully , and the adventure and charm holds right up to the last reel . 
screenwriters john eskow , ted elliot and terry rosio have unfortunately written an cliched and one dimensional script . 
although they've bought zorro up to date with big explosions and wild action , the plot itself is barely existent . 
there's lots of little sub plots hanging around , but there's nothing substantial to bring them all together . 
the main story seems to be the fact that rafael wants to 'buy' california using gold stolen from the guy he's buying the land off . 
this sets up for a temple of doom type plot where we see peasants slave driven into getting the gold from little mines . 
however , this doesn't seem to appear until nearly over a hour into the film , so the film is never quite sure where it's going . 
in the end however , zorro provides action and comedy in spades . 
it suitable for everyone , so put the guilt behind , and put some more money into spielbergs bank account . 
you won't regret it . 
"
"1"," "" rebel without a cause "" is such an important film in american history because it is a true analysis of youth in america that everyone of all ages can relate to . 
everyone feels that they are different in some way , that they don't belong in some places and "" rebel without a cause "" successfully shows on screen these universal emotions . 
no matter what generation you belong to , these feelings are present . 
this is why james dean is admired by america , because in this film he represents us all and his actions are actions that we would also execute . 
in our minds , we just try to do the right thing just like dean's jim stark does . 
not only does "" rebel without a cause "" display these universal emotions for all to relate to but it also shows that america has suffered a uniqe pattern in its social structure . 
each generation looks at its past generation without a strong connection . 
this is because times change and in response people change . 
no matter how popular you were once , as your generation grows older , newer breeds look at you in a different light . 
this is why stark and his friends never could form a strong relationship with their parents . 
even if their parents insisted that they were also rebellious and troublesome in the past , the teens could not believe this . 
in one humorous scene , stark , his girlfriend judy ( natalie wood ) , and his pal plato ( sal mineo ) pretend they are adults . 
they use upper class british accents and in their conversations they make it out to appear that kids are no good and should be ignored . 
this scene shows that what was once cool in a past generation is the complete opposite in another . 
speaking on behalf of my generation , i feel that dean has lost a lot of his coolness from our perspective as the years have grown by . 
the only ones who seem to still lionize him are those members of his generation . same 
goes for brando , redford , even deniro . 
i can only imagine how vaguely matt damon , ben affleck , and brad pitt will be viewed at the mid point of the twenty first century . 
will dean even be remembered when these newcomers are forgotten ? 
any film that sparks this kind of thought is certainly a milestone in american film . 
even if "" rebel without a cause "" has some ridiculous scenes ( the game of chicken - did people really act this way ? ) , an unbelievable conclusion ( how did everyone end up at the abandoned mansion at the end ? ) , and a silly romance ( wood declares her love for dean after talking to him for a couple hours ) it still is a fabulous film . 
the acting is so believable that it is no wonder that dean was considered the epitome of cool . 
now , however , the coolness is fading . . . 
"
"1","david mamet has long been my favorite screenwriter and director . 
with his distinctive , more often than not ingenious dialogue , and his laid back style of direction nearly all of his movies are absolutely irresistible . 
some of them tend to be thickly layered , deceptive productions that require the audience to look at the film in a less superficial manner than the plot seems to require in order to discern its concealed message , or sometimes even a concealed storyline . 
and although the real plot in his new project the winslow boy is slightly more conspicuous than in some of his other endeavors , it is still a brilliantly complex , consistently riveting motion picture about honor , about sacrifice , and about the difference between what is commonly known as justice and what is right . 
oh , and it's rated g . 
incidentally , this is the first time that mamet has decided to adapt someone else's work ; namely a play by terrence rattigan , set in the 19th century . 
he casts nigel hawthorne in the lead role as arthur winslow , a rich , aging man who finds out that his 14 year old son ronnie has been kicked out of the naval academy for allegedly stealing a 5 shilling postal note . 
 "" did you do it ? "" he asks his boy . 
 "" no father , i didn't , "" ronnie answers . 
that's enough for arthur , who , with his oldest daughter ( rebecca pidgeon ) , immediately starts a crusade to bring his son's case to court . 
they enlist the help of sir robert morton , a notorious attorney to help them achieve that formidably daunting task . 
it all seems fairly frivolous , and no matter how you look at it , the winslow case is not the trial of the century . 
but arthur is determined to keep his family's word clean and he is willing to go quite far to make sure of that . 
soon enough , sir robert morton along with the rest of the country becomes equally wrapped up in the proceedings . 
so do we . 
all david mamet does for the script is tighten and hone the dialogue , but his style is still fairly apparent . 
the characters still talk in his trademark staccatto lines and there is still tension present in conversations that no ordinary writer would be able to make tense . 
but this is not mamet's norm , and it's refreshing to see mamet deviate from his world of crooks , gangsters as con men , wonderful as those films were . 
nigel hawthorne's performance is nearly flawless . 
his delivery is that of a dignified yet not pompous man who seems to be getting beaten at his own game . 
we pity the man , but we also like him . 
rebecca pidgeon , david mamet's wife , who gave a fairly awful performance in the spanish prisoner is at the top of her game here as arthur's oldest daughter , a flailing feminist who gives her all to the winslow case as a way for making up for her lack of success in the women's suffrage movement . 
the winslow boy is a wonderful movie that avoids cliches such as a seemingly inevitable courtroom scene and shoots higher -- it wants to make a real impact rather than a phony one . 
be honest : did you feel anything profound at or after the courtroom scenes in films like a time to kill ? 
if you wanted to but didn't , this is a movie for you . 
it is the epitome of subtlety : it's powerful without being too emotional , sad without even trying to be depressing . 
david mamet can churn out some great scripts , but in this movie he proves to those who ever doubted it once and for all that he is a hell of a director too . 
he is almost a national treasure . 
his films deserve their own genre . 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov&#137 ; 
"
"1","catherine deane ( jennifer lopez ) is a psychologist who has been hired to participate in a project where she can enter the minds of comatose victims and try to interact with their subconscious in an attempt to wake them up . 
she has been experiencing moderate success with a young boy in a coma , but the boy's parents aren't happy with the apparent lack of progress and the toll of her job is having adverse affects on her regular life . 
as if trying to assure the boy's parents wasn't hard enough on her , a new development arises that furthers the strain on deane's mental faculties . 
a vicious serial killer named carl stargher ( vincent d'onofrio ) has been kidnapping women , locking them in an automated cell that drowns them slowly in a matter of days , then soaking the corpses in bleach to turn them into life-sized dolls . 
just after kidnapping his latest victim and locking her in the cell , stargher has a traumatic experience that triggers a schizophrenic virus in his brain and causes him to sink in an eternal catatonia . 
the police , led by fbi agent peter novak ( vince vaughn ) are able to locate stargher by some clues he left while dumping his previous victim's body , but they feel all hope is lost for his current victim due to his vegetative state . 
in a last ditch attempt , they ask deane and the scientists that created the project to undergo the frightening task of entering stargher's mind to try and find the location of the victim locked in the deadly cell . . . 
a cell which will completely fill with water in the next 40 hours ! 
initial reports about this film described it as a cross between the silence of the lambs and the matrix . 
while it does share some characteristics with both films ( particularly the first forty minutes , which seem almost like a condensed version of lambs ) , the cell also seems to contain elements of dreamscape and brainstorm . 
the buzz around this project is that first-time feature film director tarsem singh ( who won many awards for his video of r . e . m . 's "" losing my religion "" ) wanted a script that he could fashion images out of instead of a cohesive story , and a good portion of this film supports that theory . 
despite the borrowed elements from the aforementioned films and a script that contains several logically questionable moments , the cell does feature some remarkable imagery . 
all of the sequences where we delve into someone's mind are incredibly beautiful ( including the dank mind of stargher , whose thoughts are reminiscent of an h . r . giger painting come to life mixed with a tool music video ) , proving that singh is as adept at filming strange and wonderful images as his acclaim would lead us to believe . 
the first sequence that takes place in stargher's mind is by far the best , featuring one of the most ingenious traps i've ever seen in a film ( involving a horse , which no one seeing this film will probably forget ) , a zoo-like display of stargher's victims which are animated like marionettes , and stargher himself in a giant purple cape that spans the walls of his mental throne room . 
if the film had continued within this dirty monstrous world i would have deemed the film brilliant , but alas , the sequences only become more silly as they go along ( despite a painful nipple ring removal later in the film ) . 
the cast is basically just an excuse for there to be some moderate plot semblance during the parade of images , but at least vincent d'onofrio turns in his usual bizarre and psychotic performance ( magnified by ten , thanks to the environment in which the film has been placed ) . 
in my opinion , d'onofrio was one of the best creepy actors i have ever seen in a film , but his film choices as of late have been so completely awful ( i . e . - 
the newton boys , feeling minnesota , the thirteenth floor , and the velocity of gary ) that i have begun to rethink my initial assessment of him . 
the character of stargher is an excellent role for him though , and will probably lead to a bit of typecasting for him . 
detractors of violence and disturbing images will want to stay far away from this film , as it contains heavy doses of both . 
besides the nipple ring removal i mention above , there is also stargher's penchant for hanging suspended off of the floor by the rings that pierce his back and legs ( prior to his catatonia and capture ) which will have audiences recoiling . 
a sequence where catherine enters stargher's mind and finds him recreating the disemboweling of his first victim is also pretty disquieting . 
one moment also features a character having his intestines slowly removed from his body by an old fashioned hand cranked spit-like device . 
as a narrative film , the cell is sorely lacking . 
as a collection of images though , the cell is extremely well done . 
although the latter sequences in the film contain fewer disturbing imagery than the first half , singh has done what he supposedly set out to do : make a film solely for the purpose of stringing some remarkable images together . 
unfortunately , a well-written script should have been considered too , because without it the cell just seems like any other music video we could see on mtv ( provided , of course , that mtv allowed for the use of graphic violence and language in music videos ) . 
"
"1","when casting the key part of the voice of moses , most people's first candidate would probably not be the controversial actor val kilmer ( the saint and the island of dr . 
moreau ) , but he was dreamworks's choice in their first traditionally animated movie , the prince of egypt . 
the selection of kilmer proved to be a wise one , but the biggest risk dreamworks took wasn't in the casting department . 
the radical departure was that they decided to use the medium of animation to make a biblical epic , a la cecil b . demille , to move our hearts and minds rather than to tickle our funny bones . 
in the press kit producer penney cox says that they wanted to make a film for adults based on sophisticated themes but one that did not exclude children . 
animated movies for adults that are appropriate for kids and that are not comedies , now that is something fresh . 
let me admit up-front that i was quite skeptical as to whether dreamworks could pull it off . 
dreamworks's antz seemed to be a movie not quite appropriate for any age group . 
the prince of egypt may be harder to market than antz , but it is much more satisfying . 
like antz and unlike the more modest casting of pixar's a bug's life , the prince of egpyt has half of hollywood doing the voices . 
danny glover is the voice of jethro , jeff goldblum of aaron , steve martin of hotep , helen mirren of the queen , michelle pfeiffer of tzipporah , martin short of huy and patrick stewart of seti . 
you can figure out for yourself who does the voice of god . 
the movie , which is weakest in the story department , is a cliff's notes version of demille's the ten commandments . 
the script by kelly asbury and lorna cook has an obsession with touching briefly on every classic event in moses's life . 
demille took over three and a half hours in order to do it justice . 
at less than half of that , the prince of egypt rushes through so much material that it doesn't establish sufficient depth for us to bond with the characters . 
we meet moses when the queen finds him floating in his little basket . 
we watch him grow up and become best bud and a chariot racing partner to ramses ( ralph fiennes ) , the future pharaoh . 
moses is a free spirit and a practical joker until he finds out his true identity as a jew . 
 ( "" all i've ever known to be true is a lie , "" moses complains . ) 
after finding out his real identity , he sees for the first time the oppression of the jewish slaves that are all around him . 
after leaving egypt , moses comes back to ask ramses to let moses's people go . 
this leads to the classic scene of the parting of the red sea , which is one of many places where computers were used to enhance the traditionally hand-drawn animation of the most of the production . 
it is the absolutely stunning visuals that make the movie so compelling . 
drawn with a rich palette of luxurious roses , blues and golds , the picture looks sumptuous from its first frame to its last . 
the construction of the temple is shown in blowing dust , and other scenes are shot with the glow of a rising sun . 
the most original visual sequence in the film occurs during a dream moses has . 
done with an explicit two-dimensional look , the colorful images painted on the temple walls come to life to tell their own animated story . 
even though it has its weaknesses , the prince of egypt is a noble attempt to carve out a new genre -- serious animated movies for adults that are acceptable for the entire family . 
this awe-inspiring movie deserves to be seen . 
the prince of egypt runs about 1 : 30 . 
it is rated pg for thematic elements and would be fine for the whole family . 
how old a kid would need to be to be interested depends on the child , but those over 8 will probably like it . 
"
"1"," "" . . it's certainly more than just a monster story . . "" 
- kenneth branagh , director/actor/co-writer of mary shelley's frankenstein . 
kenneth branagh's new motion picture had to compete with all the previous frankenstein-films made throughout the years in almost every part of the world , including the most controversial version of them all - directed by james whale . 
the dark and stormy nights , the lightning bolts , the charnel houses of spare body parts , the laboratory where victor frankenstein stirs his steaming cauldron of life are effectful . 
but the center of the film , quieter and more thoughtful , contains the real story . 
horror-fans will probably be disappointed by the total lack of horror . 
branagh has instead concentrated on serious issues : morality , philosophy and human elements of the story , and not on old fashioned horror cliches . 
his version is much closer to the book than all the previous adaptions of the classic novel . 
the film begins and ends somewhere in the arctic ocean . 
the year is 1794 . 
a bold captain is steering his ship through the unknown waters . 
his gole is to reach the north pole at all costs . 
as the ice closes around his ship , a figure appears on the horizon . 
it's a man . 
exhausted and on the brink of death he approaches the frightening crew . 
his name is victor frankenstein ( kenneth branagh ) and his story is so terrifying that it will scare everyone from venturing into the unknown . 
the myserious stranger begins his tale , or more precisely his confession , in geneva , 1773 . 
he is remembering his childhood and youth . 
laughter , banquets and parties - a happy life , without troubles or concerns . 
here victor lived with his father ( ian holm ) , mother ( cherie lunghi ) , his surrogate sister ( helena boham carter ) and his servants in happiness and harmony . 
this idyllic lifestyle is suddenly changed . 
like thunder from a quite sky , his mother dies , giving birth to his youngest brother . 
shocked , baffled and then gradually changed by grief and despair , victor ( already interested in science ) becomes obsessed with death . 
standing on his mother's grave he says : "" oh mother . . you 
did not have to die . . . no one should ever die . . . i 
will stop this . . i 
promiss . . "" 
after proposing marridge to his surrogate sister and promising to return as soon as his studies are finished , victor travels to ingolstadt , in presuite of a medical career . 
after a while his obsession totally overtakes him as he is working day and night , creating life from death . 
composing dead bodies , frankenstein wanted to create the perfect man - both physically and mentally . 
with strong electrical impulses , he managed to breeth life into his creation . 
the result was ugliness . 
realizing what he has done , frankenstein tried to undo his work , but it was to late . 
the creature has escaped . 
because of the epidemic , frankenstein hoped that his creation has died and returned to his home , making plans for the wedding . 
for a while everything is as it was before his mother's death . 
but then one by one his loved once are dying mysteriously . . . 
whale's picture , although powerful , never managed to capture the total depth of the novel . 
brannagh has more or less done that . 
another thing is characters and actors . 
branagh has developed every character and assembled a magnificent cast . 
the greatest performances comes from de niro - the monster , that has been played by ( among others ) charles ogle , karloff , lon chaney , bela lugosi , glenn strange , christopher lee , fred gwynne ( as herman munster ) , and now , robert de niro . 
alone , hated and feared , he is completely aware of his ugliness . 
at first he is like a helpless , abandoned child , desperately reaching out for love . 
later when he reads frankenstein's journal , and learns that he is composed of dead bodies , his love turns into rage as he is seeking revenge . 
he is capable of killing without regret . 
 "" i took him by the throughout and lifted him off the ground . . . . and 
then i slowly crushed his neck . . . and 
as i killed him , i saw your face . . "" 
that is how he reveals his savage nature to his creator . 
and yet , he is never quite evil in our eyes and his vaulerbility and his loneliness are palpable : "" for the sympathy of one living being i would make peace with all . "" 
rarely has a cinematic interpretation of "" the daemon "" approached the level of three-dimensionality and humanity with which it is portrayed in the novel . 
another vital thing is the character of victor frankenstein . 
in most of the previous adaptions he was simply a mad scientist that trolls the graveyards for corpses and then creates a monster ( god knows why ! ) with the power of an electrical storm . 
almost no time was granted on his charecter , who is the most important and vital charecter in the novel . 
here , branagh introduces the character of victor frankenstein , establishes his obsession with the very nature of life and death , sets up the intellectual and ideological conflict between victor and the academic establishment , and somehow manages to build up to a rousing and horrifying creation scene . 
branagh plays frankenstein with a remarkable understanding of his character . 
on the outside he is strong , ambitious and talented scientist , but deep down he is unsecure , fragile and vaulerble , constantly haunted by the ghosts from his past . 
helen boham carter is equally wonderful as frankenstein's surrogate sister , who at the end becomes his wife for a little while , before death drives them apart . 
the rest of the cast , playing secondary characters , is solid and nothing less than convincing . 
visually the film is stunning ( especially the makeup ) . 
the spinning camera , the constantly building-up musical acore , the art direction , the production design , the costumes are all magnificent : from the arctic ocean to the swiss alps and dark forests , to the plague-riddled streets of ingolstadt , mary shelley's frankenstein is a wonder to behold . 
kenneth branagh directs his film as if the script was written by shakespeare : "" . . all 
i once loved lies in a shallow grave . . . . by 
my hand . . "" . 
and the film ends exacly as hamlet , when the creature sets both his and his creator's body on fire . 
the film ends with frankenstein and his creation burning in the almost hellish fire in the darkness . 
and a terrifying last close-up on the creature's smiling face . 
can a man create life , then abandon his creation because its appearance horrifies him ? 
to whom are its actions then attributable : the creature or the being who brought about its existence ? 
shelley did not answer these questions , but she certainly posed them . 
following her example , branagh does the same . 
his film is a tragic saga about playing god . 
victor frankenstein is not an evil man . 
he wanted to change the world to the better . 
in this he represents everything science stands for : acting without doubts , never considering the consequences of his actions . 
produced by francis ford coppola , frankenstein resembles in some respects coppolas previous film "" dracula "" . 
in comparison , i can say that "" dracula "" has visuals that even "" frankenstein "" can not live up to . 
but when it comes to story , characters and casting , "" frankenstein "" is stronger . 
but stronger than both of them , on every aspect , is neil jordan's "" interview with the vampire "" . 
although the film is not perfect ( the camera that simply refuses to stay still and the occasionally pushy score are at times more tiering than effective ) , these minor faults are easily forgivable , as the picture is otherwise captivating and stimulating . 
branagh has probably created one of the best ( if not the best ) adaptions of shelly's classic novel . 
"
"1"," "" love is the devil "" is a challenging film , munundating its audience with wild imagery and a plot structure that disallows a plot , perhaps in an attempt to get us to know the artist's psyche rather than the artist's lifeline . 
watching it , i was enthralled with the look of the film , the way the director shot everything like it was looking through a bizarre , personalized filter . 
everything looks like it is not how life looks like but how painter francis bacon , the film's subject , looked at it personally . 
but while i was engrossed , i stumbled upon my thoughts halfway through the film , awakened from my trance by some inner distraction , and began to try and follow what's going on . 
exactly what was i looking at ? 
watching this film , i wasn't sure if it was the most insightful film i had ever seen or the most vacuous . 
directed ( and written ) by john maybury , "" love is the devil "" is stylish masterpiece for the senses . 
everything looks originally bizarre and perplexing . 
the camera angles are ferociously askew , and the close-ups are uncomfortably too close . 
the editing is deft , occasionally cutting away to something bizarre every couple seconds , but other times holding on a shot for so long that you wonder if the audience is not supposed to be voyeurs , or rather , intruders to bacon's world and psyche . 
as such , there is no real story . 
i've not heard much about francis bacon that i didn't read prior to the film , but what i learned was this : he was a painter in england who reached his peak during the 60s and 70s , drawing hideously bizarre drawings of carnage and the like . 
he was one of the first to really come out of the closet , and in interviews , he was notoriously drunk yet incredibly witty . 
as played by great shakesperean actor derek jacobi , he's like a foppish and self-absorbed cross between oscar wilde and nero . 
he lives life the way he wants to live it , to the disatisfaction of those who have the privelege of being really close to him . 
it's as if he were taking delight in the destruction of others and maybe himself ( "" champagne for my real friends , and pain for my sham friends , "" he says one night at the bar he frequents ) . 
 "" love is the devil "" chronicles the latter part of his life . 
bacon , well-known in his mid-life , awakens one night when he hears a man tumble through his ceiling window and land on the floor . 
he walks in , unafraid of what he finds , and discovers a thief , george dyer ( daniel craig ) . 
bacon gives him an offer : if he spends the night with him , he can take anything he wants in the morning . 
george agrees to this , and off to bed he goes , but ends up staying with him , for whatever reason . 
the film shows their lives together , at least in reference to one another . 
while creating bacon's world of friends ( like "" high art , "" this film minors in showing a certain group of people who radiate a connection that is not shown but is understood ) , the film shows the relationship of bacon and george as it remains rather stagnant . 
bacon is haughty and bizarre ; george is simple and doesn't understand bacon in the least , especially not his paintings . 
while watching this , that's basically all i thought was there . 
the film has a hypnotic feel , free of any restraints of form , and is shot so uniquely that i felt my attention was almost entirely on the way this film was made rather than what it is about . 
once the film is over , it's easier to piece it together . 
i kept on thinking about this film , wondering what the point to all of it was . 
someone doesn't merely make a film of all style and no substance at all , and if they do , they do it by accident , but still allow some substance to creep in . 
thinking about it , i remembered how the two fed off of eachother . 
i thought about how bacon was a masochist , in love with cruelty ( in one scene , he watches a boxing match with a orgiastic delight , and lets out a squeal of pleasure when blood from the one boxer's head splashes across his face ; in another scene , he masturbates to the odessa steps sequence of eisenstein's "" battleship potemkin "" ) , and perhaps he drove george too far in his delight for pain . 
he drove him over the edge , and for him that was love , even if it wasn't for george . 
i guess that explains the title . 
a bit . 
that's great and all , but i almost wish the film was devoid of any meaning . 
i wish it hadn't reduced itself to making some point about humanity , about how love is the most selfish thing in the world ( and it is , if you look at it a certain way ) . 
or maybe if it had avoided any meaning about humanity and merely drove itself into being the one film that was truly inside one man's twisted pysche . 
it's almost always best to obtain insights from looking at one man's uniqueness than it is forcing universality down an audience's throat . 
that way you don't reduce your film to something it's just not . 
i can't say i totally enjoyed "" love is the devil , "" though . 
despite all of the things i respect about this movie , it's still rather uncomfortable to sit through . 
even at a normally trite length of ninety minutes , the film still seems like an arduous task to sit through , especially after an exhausting first hour . 
though hypnotic , it still almost seems gimmicky and even redundant at times , as if it were taking advantage of one man's truly bizarre nature but not doing anything deeper with it . 
as such , i respect the way the film looks . 
it's beautiful and painstakingly crafted so that , along with "" what dreams may come "" and "" dark city , "" it's the year's most visually stunning film . 
in fact , if a better script had been forged , i'd almost compare it in visual power to a peter greenaway film , complete with similar haunting images that stick in the mind forever . 
and with a dymanite performance by derek jacobi , it has the comic and distanced tone that it needs . 
i just wish it had been more than mostly style and just a hair bit of substance . 
then i would have had something to hold me over even now . 
"
"1","a costume drama set in the 1500s , england , elizabeth is a lush , romantic , political masterpiece about the upset over the crossing of a protestant queen from a respected catholic one . 
when the court and country are a whole after the passing of the queens , the royal family , so to speak , are upset that a protestant should be crowened , and not another catholic , plus , the new queen , elizabeth i ( cate blanchette ) , was the bastard baby of the previous queen mary's father . 
the persecution over catholics and protestants isn't the only majority in elizabeth . 
elizabeth i must face the decision to give up personal pleasures , and her lover ( joseph fiennes of shakespeare in love ) , in order to rule , successfully , the country , which she did for 40 more years . 
both elizabeth and shakespeare in love are set in the elizabethian era , and both feature a queen elizabeth i ( judi dench plays her in love ) , or course . 
yet , i found elizabeth more stimulating and involving than love , not just because elizabeth features a great deal more of elizabeth i , but because i found blanchette a more powerful , hypnotic sense for the role . 
elizabeth , also featuring geoffrey rush and richard attenborough , is my pick for the best picture of 1998 award . 
it's a dynamic , important , breathtaking film of loyalty , power , greed , and trust . 
shakespeare would die for the book rights . 
"
"1","jay and silent bob strike back can rightfully be subtitled "" kevin smith's greatest hits "" for the film is comprised of numerous references and characters from smith's earlier works including , clerks , mall rats . 
chasing amy and dogma . 
so , be advised : bone up on that cinematic quartet in order to achieve the maximum enjoyment from smith's latest outing . 
kevin smith must be a very likable person because several good sports took a ton of kidding in this feature , most notably miramax , the studio whose subsidiary , dimension films , is jay and silent bob's distributor . 
others deserving accolades include ben affleck , matt damon , directors gus van zant and wes craven and the mighty george lucas . 
this is a laugh-filled , foul-mouthed road film with jay ( jason mewes ) and silent bob ( smith ) hitching to hollywood to sabotage miramax's production of bluntman and chronic , comic book characters based on the two jersey slackers . 
jay's convoluted reasoning is that if the film is shut down , people on the internet will stop insulting him and bob , even though it is not him and bob the people are dissing , but rather their comic book counterparts . 
no matter , the duo begin their long trek hitching rides across the country . 
but first they get some tips from a veteran hitchhiker , played by george carlin , who tells them to follow "" the book "" - the rules of the road . 
of course jay's interpretation immediately gets the duo in trouble with a friendly nun ( carrie fisher ) who offers them a ride . 
jay and silent bob contains enough laughs that the movie's weaker aspects - which include a lame subplot about a girl gang of diamond thieves as well as a buffoonish federal park ranger played by will ferrell - can be easily tolerated . 
really , how can you not laugh at a film in which our heroes are picked up by the mystery van , and jay has a pot-induced hallucination concerning velma and daphne . 
the movie's highlight , though , is near the finale . 
in hollywood , jay and silent bob sneak onto the miramax lot where they crash the set and are mistaken for extras of the latest affleck-damon picture , good will hunting 2 : hunting season . 
here we are privy to a hilarious conversation between affleck and damon in which the two put down each other's careers and film choices . 
and the laughs continue to grow . 
next up is jason ( american pie ) biggs and james ( dawson's creek ) van der beek , the actors chosen to portray bluntman and chronic . 
the pair mistake jay and silent bob for their stunt doubles . 
finally , comes a star wars homage featuring one of the stars of that legendary feature . 
this bit will leave you howling . 
smith's obvious affection for pop culture icons is evident in the way he shoots these scenes and handles his performers . 
he allows them to play it all tongue-in-cheek . 
their fun comes through the screen to the audience . 
it is too bad that this is jay and silent bob's swan song . 
the characters have grown since their supporting role debuts in clerks . 
but smith realizes that times have changed , and he doesn't want his creations to overstay their welcome . 
so smith has provided them with just the right kind of exit , saving the best for last . 
goodbye jay and silent bob . 
at least you're going out with a blast . 
"
"1","a sci fi/comedy starring jack nicholson , pierce brosnan , annette benning , glenn close , martin short and other stars . 
a warner bros picture 
the martians have landed in this hillarous tim burton movie . 
before entering the cinema , i was initially a little bit nervous about what this film would be like . 
many people were saying that this film was silly rubbish , and there was no point to it all . 
how wrong they were . 
i left this film feeling much happier than i was before i entered the cinema . 
the story is about martians attacking earth . 
using ray guns ( hooray ! ) 
they generally cause havoc around the u . s and other countries . 
nicholson plays the president who must try to stop invasion , and also taking advice from his loopy officials . 
but , basically , its a load of set pieces showing the martians destroying earth . 
the way people are killed by the ray guns is great , they is a hillarous ( and mildly disturbing scene ) involving a martian lady , a mad general who just wants to nuke the aliens away , ( and ends up getting squashed by an aliens foot ) and a gory finale involving lots of alien heads exploding . 
but , most of all , this film is fun . 
the martians are full of character , the performances are spot on , and the all star cast help make the film more enjoyable . 
the film is a million times better then the dire independance day , and is a real tribute to the tacky '50s invasion movies . 
they are is a great score by danny elfman , and lots of laughs . 
this has to be the best invasion i've seen for a long time . 
"
"1","let's face it : the $100 million-plus smash that was "" goldeneye "" was not a good film by any means , and as a bond movie was only marginally better than , say , "" a view to a kill "" or either of the timothy dalton pictures , by virtue of nice pacing . 
but it did revive the series , and granted the producers some new directions in which to take the it ( ie . 
the new "" m "" is a woman ) . 
 "" tomorrow never dies "" is the picture "" goldeneye "" should have been ; it's also the most entertaining bond outing since "" the spy who loved me "" . 
the new picture opens with china considering war with britain after a standard military operation is misconstrued as a hostile threat from an english submarine . 
as an attack occurs , the front-page headline is already being prepared , courtesy of carver media . 
carver ( pryce ) the man is a deluded magnate , a sort of hybrid of ted turner , bill gates , and peter sellars' german scientist from "" dr . 
strangelove "" ( physically , pryce even recalls sellars in his kubrick days ) . 
it's up to james bond to take him down , with assistance , of course , from a wealth of gadgets ( including a multi-purpose cell phone ) , and beautiful women . 
enter michelle yeoh , fresh from "" supercop "" , as a chinese secret agent with her own agenda ; with effortless grace , she cat burgles , dispatches baddies seemingly with the ease of preparing pasta , and refuses the advances of our philandering hero . 
they make a great team . 
 "" tomorrow never dies "" is a surprisingly entertaining and efficient film , given that at the helm is none other than the director of "" turner & hooch "" . 
spottiswoode has crafted some breathtaking set pieces , each much more intricate and impressive than , for instance , the tank scene in "" goldeneye "" . 
moreover , brosnan has at last settled into the role some feel he was born to play ; last time out , the fate of the franchise rested on his shoulders , and there was noticeable discomfort in his body language . 
returned in brosnan's eyes has some of the playfulness he demonstrated for so many years on tv's "" remington steele "" , as has his deadpan wit . 
and though carver's motives are muddy ( when carver explains that "" genius is insanity with some success "" , screenwriter fierstein is taking a lazy shortcut ) , pryce makes an agreeable , memorable villain . 
in the future , they should pursue actors as talented and experienced as pryce to breathe life into these cardboard figures . 
there a few too many explosions in "" tomorrow never dies "" , perhaps so many they qualify as dialogue . 
and it could have used a sharper script , though i was amused by the double entendres , none of which i will reveal here . 
as it stands , the plot suffers many holes ( i'm not taking about implausibilities ) , and the dialogue tends towards the hackneyed . 
now that the elements are in place : modern special effects and stunt work , cool pierce brosnan , kickass female allies . . . 
it's time to put them to use in something truly special . 
there's no mistaking , however , that "" tomorrow never dies "" is ideal holiday escapism , and for the first time in perhaps years , you'll walk out wanting more bond movies . 
-reviewed december 17 , 1997 
"
"1","rated : r for strong language , sexual dialogue , drug use , crude humor , violence and brief nudity . 
starring : ben affleck , matt damon , linda fiorentino , salma hayek , alan rickman , chris rock , kevin smith , jason mewes , jason lee , george carlin , alanis morissette . 
running time : 130 minutes 
being a huge fan of kevin smith , i was expecting a lot out of his newest project 'dogma' . 
it might just be kevin's best work to date . 
it's very funny with smart and foul-mouthed dialogue while unexpectedly it has a serious undertone to it and besides going against god and jesus christ , it actually tries to tell people that there is such a thing rather than that there isn't . 
in 1994 a little $27 , 000 movie premiered at sundance . 
this little film was called 'clerks' and this little film went on to become a huge video sensation . 
you really can't meet a person on this green earth who has not seen 'clerks' . 
it was hailed by critics as one of the best movies of the year and soon a sequel is coming . 
in 1995 kevin made another movie 'mallrats' that flopped horribly , thought it was not the best movie ever made it was a pretty good little flick . 
it was panned by critics but hailed by audiences and in 1997 'chasing amy' came out and was kevin's biggest success to date . 
now in 1999 we get a great little movie by the name of 'dogma' . 
wow ! what a cast . 
ok here is the plot in this movie : linda fiorentino plays a regular woman who works at an abortion clinic . 
one day at her house metatron ( the voice of god ) appears at her house much to her surprise and tells her that she must stop two fallen angels ( matt damon and ben affleck ) from getting back into heaven by ways of a church . 
ok now get this , she is told to find two prophets : one who talks a lot and one who doesn't , however she gets jay and silent bob instead ( who give us great performances ) . 
now on her way to new jersey with jay and silent bob to try and stop the two angels the 13th apostle falls out of the sky ( chris rock ) and helps guide her to find these angels . 
salma hayek plays serendipity who also helps her out along her way . 
azrael ( jason lee ) who is a demon is trying to help the two angels out so that they can win . 
bethany ( linda fiorentino ) has to now use the help of all these people to try and stop the angels before they cheat their way back to heaven leading to a violent and bloody end that will make you think twice about your faith . 
what a movie , it is everything rolled into one : an offensive , offbeat , smart and sassy comedy that surprisingly has a great message at the end , and ends up being a feel-good movie . 
who would have known kevin had such a soft side on him that could make us know that he is a faithful person himself . 
now for those of you who get offended with this movie really should not take it to heart . 
yes it may target the catholic community and bash them a lot , but it also seems to rather than go against god and heaven , it actually goes with god and kevin gives a message that there is a god . 
this review may sound confusing at first but really the only way to understand it is to see this excellent movie . 
kevin goes to new lengths in this hilarious comedy and gives us some great characters with not too much background or study and rather we start to know the characters as we watch the movie . 
of course the best ( and funniest ) of them all is the only duo in history that have made me fall out of my chair laughing and that my friends are jay and silent bob . 
probably the best characters in movies that i like . 
the star-studded cast is amazing and has some other cameos by george carlin , jeanne garafolo and so may more that we start to lose track after a while . 
the script was written by kevin smith with many f'words in there of course and a strong emphasis on sexual talk but he also seems to concentrate on what is important rather that what isn't and makes us laugh at the same time as we think . 
chris rock gives a hilarious performance and gets into his character very well , with some classic lines . 
linda fiorentino is just perfect for her role and makes us believe that she really is who she is . 
of course jason mewes and kevin smith do a great job as jay and silent bob with some priceless lines from jay ( as well as silent bob ) . 
alan rickman , jason lee , salma hayek round out the cast with matt damon and ben affleck in the starring roles . 
being oscar winners for the classic 'good will hunting' they give great performances here again but matt damon seems just a little held back and to me did not give it all he could . 
ben however was all out and got very much into his character as well as the story . 
the movie's only big flaw is that it has a few unfunny lines and some slow parts to go along with it . 
however the direction by kevin and the script by kevin as well as the priceless performance by many of the cast members , 'dogma' stands as a new classic and i think i can safely compare it to 'clerks' . 
while being funny at times , in the end it becomes a serious movie with an important message that some may not agree with but can't deny it . 
'dogma' will offend people , especially deeply religious people , but for those of you who are open minded and want to see some very funny material then this is the movie for you . 
all kevin smith fans must see ! ! 
"
"1","one of the most popular subplots in the entire science fiction genre is time travel . 
that concept , although many purists doubt its scientific credentials , spawned many interesting novels , comic books and films in the last century . 
however , the big grand-daddy of time travels , h . g . wells' novel the time machine , wasn't written with the intention to speculate about that concept or its consequences . 
the author , h . g . wells merely used it as a convenient way to express his socialist views and condemn the great social gap between the rich , idle capitalist class and impoverished labour . 
whatever intentions wells had , the future generations of readers were less impressed by his political messages . 
instead they were fascinated by the idea that the strange new worlds could be explored without traveling trough space . 
the novel became one of great classics of science fiction genre and it natural for filmmakers to use it as inspiration . 
first of them was george pal , who in 1960 directed film which would , through the years , become genre classic of its own . 
the plot revolves about george ( rod taylor ) , victorian scientist who discovered the way to travel through the fourth dimension - time . 
at the eve of the new 20th century , george gathers his friends in order to present them his invention - machine that would enable him to travel through time . 
they are skeptical , but that doesn't prevent george from carrying out his plan and traveling into the future . 
at first , he travels slowly , seeing london as it changes through the years and three world wars . 
finally , after witnessing world war three , he travels far into the future , hoping that he would cease to witness wars and senseless destructions . 
when he finally reaches year 802 , 701 ad , at first glance , new world looks like utopia - humanity consists of young , beautiful , but idle eloi , people who are fed , clothed and taken care of by unseen machines . 
but , weena ( yvette mimieux ) , eloi woman , tells george about another side of the coin - in the night , her people is preyed upon by morlocs , humanoid creatures from the underworld . 
the time machine became the cinematic classic for the very same reason the novel became the classic in science fiction literature - the fantastic concept was a brilliant way for the authors to talk about burning issues and fears of their respective times . 
for h . g . wells it was frightening threat of class struggle ; for george pal and his screenwriter david duncan , who produced the film in the worst days of the cold war , it was the constant and more imminent threat of nuclear holocaust , underlined with the negative references to war throughout the movie . 
even the modern audience , which would be tempted to discard the film as old-fashioned , could find some values in its universal messages , fit for each era . 
compared with the genre films of today , the time machine is even better , and could serve as a good example how to make intelligent , thought-provoking films . 
of course , since this is hollywood product after all , the time machine delivers such concepts in the form of classic adventure , sometimes sacrificing plausibility for the sake of attractiveness . 
for example , it is hard to imagine that someone would be able to understand perfect english million years in future ; same is with morlocs degenerating into mutant monsters , while eloi remain undistinguished from the people of today . 
some of the final scenes , that turn victorian scientist into an action superhero , are also rather unconvincing . 
but , on the other hand , the film is very well directed , cleverly paced and the special effects , although definitely old-fashioned , are more than adequate for this kind of picture . 
the acting is good , with rod taylor in one of his most remembered roles , while in the same time alan young brings rather memorable performance as george's trusted friend filby . 
yvette mimieux , who plays weena , on the other hand , would be remembered more by her looks than by the complexity of her role . 
however , despite all those flaws , the time machine is a very good piece of cinema , something that connoisseurs of quality science-fiction films sorely miss these days . 
"
"1","if this keeps up , jane austen ( sense and sensibility , pride and prejudice ) may have to apply for posthumous membership to the screen writers guild . 
yet another novel of hers has made the transition to the silver screen . 
mansfield park is a turn of the century ( 18th century going on 19th ) story about love among the classes as well as an examination into proper society and family ties . 
ten year old fanny price ( hannah taylor-gordon , jakob the liar ) , taken from her mother and father and the poverty in which they dwell , is sent to live with her aunt and the privileged class at mansfield park , under the stern patriarchal hand of her uncle , sir thomas bertram ( harold pinter , mojo ) 
spending her days reminded of her lower status , she also invents and writes fanciful stories during her private times . 
fanny eventually grows to become a beautiful , intelligent , and engaging heroine ( quite unlike the original character which ms . austen originally penned in her novel . ) 
writer/director patricia rozema ( when night is falling ) is responsible for the textual changes . 
from a purely dramatic perspective , the revision makes perfect sense and improves the film's audience appeal . 
what ms . rozema has done is to infuse the main character with much of ms . austen's own personality by including excerpts from the author's journals , giving that dialogue to fanny . 
the result is a central character that is immediately appealing . 
as the grown fanny , australian actress frances o'connor ( all about adam ) does wonderfully textured work . 
at times , ms . rozema has fanny address the camera directly to communicate many of the novel's more introspective observations . 
this is a difficult device to work seamlessly into a period film and it is to ms . o'connor's credit that it works as well as it does . 
the central theme which gives the story its legs in an old one . . . 
whether it is better to marry for love or for social standing ? 
fanny has fallen in love with her cousin edmund ( jonny lee miller , plunkett & macleane ) who appears fond of her as well . 
his attentions are soon divided as the stylish and socially acceptable mary crawford ( embeth davidtz , bicentennial man ) enters the picture along with her equally acceptable brother henry ( alessandro nivola , inventing the abbotts ) who eventually sets his romantic sights upon fanny . 
while mary and henry are evidently less than sincere in their affections , their presence does provide the movie and the main characters with the necessary conflict that keeps our interest until the film's appropriately austen-like ending . 
other thematic devices include a awkwardly inserted reference to the source of the wealth of mansfield park . . . 
the slave trade . 
there is also a hint of both lesbianism and incest but neither is carried very far and is soon forgotten . 
the motivation for marriage remains the primary thematic thrust . 
fanny's cousin , maria bertram ( victoria hamilton , persuasion ) is an example of one making a poor match , marrying a well-to-do fool who is able to make her comfortable , but never happy . 
fanny's own mother , trapped in her chosen life of squalor warns fanny by admitting that her situation is due to the fact that she "" married for love . "" 
fanny , given those two terrible examples , and faced with the same choice is understandably indecisive as to which way to lean . 
the spiritual answer , of course , lies in the middle of those two extremes . 
marriage is not a cold , calculating decision based upon self-preservation . 
neither is it a senseless decision made in the warm afterglow of a passionate embrace . 
in the purest sense , marriage forms an insoluble union whereby two people agree to function as one . 
 "" and said , for this cause shall a man leave father and mother , and shall cleave to his wife : and they twain shall be one flesh ? "" 
matthew 19 : 5 [kjv] 
love and logic can be combined . 
god's word contains both . 
so does a marriage based upon his truth . 
"
"1","saving private ryan ( dreamworks ) running time : 2 hours 48 minutes . 
starring tom hanks , edward burns , tom sizemore and matt damon directed by steven spielberg already being hailed as the 'greatest war movie ever made , ' saving private ryan is an harrowing , saddening and riveting movie . 
it may not be the greatest war movie in my opinion , but it's certainly one of the best war movies made , and one of the best of 1998 . 
tom hanks stars as a captain who's troop has to find private ryan ( damon ) who has a ticket home because his three brothers have been killed in action . 
action , drama and even some humour occur as the troop journeys through wartime france to find him . 
after the disappointing amistad ( 1997 ) spielberg has returned to form with this excellent movie . 
i'm not the war movie genre biggest fan , but i found this film to be gripping , and very scary , thanks to the excellent cast , direction and terrifying battle scenes . 
tom hanks is superb , straying away from his usually soppy dramatic roles , such as in forrest gump ( 1994 ) . 
this time , he plays the role with gritty realism , and is much better for it . 
occasionally he overacts the sentimentally , but he generally delivers a fine performance . 
edward burns , looking a lot like armageddon's ben affleck , also delivers a top notch performance , moving away from his roles in films such as she's the one ( 1996 ) tom sizemore makes less of an impact , but is still watchable , and matt damon reinforcing his position as one of the finest young actors working today . 
spielberg directs very well , putting the audience right in the heart of the action of the battle scenes . 
and what battle scenes they are ! 
they're truly terrifying , yet the audience cannot drag their eyes away from the screen . 
the battle scenes are filmed with a jerky hand-held camera , and the panic and confusion felt by the soldiers is emphasized by this technique . 
the gore and violence isn't spared either , which body parts flying , and blood spurting . 
this film is certainly not for kids and sensitive adults . 
other factors help saving private ryan be a masterpiece of 90's film making . 
the cinematography is excellent , and the music score by john william's is also superb . 
it is never intrusive , and adds to the drama on-screen . 
but while they are thousands of good things great about private ryan , there's one major flaw that detracts the genius of the film : the writing . 
it is unusually flat , with many of the speeches strangely weak . 
the film never really makes any profound statements . 
this is not a major gripe , as private ryan is a film of action , not words . 
still , the script could of been a lot better . 
thankfully , the actors help partly to rectify the situation with their great delivery of their lines . 
saving private ryan , in the end , is an excellent film , but not the 'greatest war movie' due to it's weak acting . 
this film should be viewed by everyone who has the stomach for it , as it's rewarding and extremely worthwhile . 
it really shouldn't be missed , and dreamworks skg has finally found it's first hit movie . 
"
"1","50's `aliens vs . 
earth' idea revamped ! 
if you have been following the movie news over the net , you could not have escaped the hype over id4 . 
it promises to be the summer film of the year and it has all the elements necessary . 
id4 opened in the us on 2nd of july , and up till now , only after a week of release , it has nearly touched the us$100 million mark , a phenomenon last observed when jurassic park was released back in 1993 . 
the premise of the movie is disgustingly simple : earth defends itself against the aliens , a typical and highly popular 50's hollywood theme which manifested itself in many films produced in that era . 
the movie opens via star wars , however unoriginal it may be , it worked . 
the aliens have sent a large mother ship ( supposedly to be 1/4 size of the moon ) to attack earth by deploying attack ships 15 miles in radius to all the major cities on earth . 
the us president ( pullman ) does not know of the aliens' intention but soon finds out when david ( goldblum ) a scientist , discovers that the aliens are counting down to a synchronised attack on all the major cities . 
capt . hiller ( smith ) , a hot-shot f-18 pilot are one of the hundreds assigned to take out the hovering alien attack ship over washington dc . 
his squadron came under heavy alien fire after discovering that their weapons were useless against the invaders , he crash lands after a spectacular 1-on-1 chase over the grand canyon , one of the many highlights of the movie . 
id4 features many characters and we are shown the impact on them as the story progresses . 
acting on the whole was ok although i thought that bill pullman was a bit unsuitable for the president role but he did make a very rousing speech before sending his troops into battle ( do we smell a bit of braveheart here ? ? ) . 
no prizes for guessing how id4 ends , its just plain obvious . 
id4 borrows heavily from star wars , return of the jedi , alien and in some parts of the movie , i could even sense a bit of x-files on screen . 
if i were to critically review this movie , id4 is full of plot holes , corny dialogue , and ridiculously dumb aliens . 
however below that wafer-thin plot and on-screen flaws , id4 scored well in playing with the appealing idea of the entire world giving up their petty differences to unite themselves as one force against the alien invasion . 
an idea which will have the audience strongly rooting for the united front throughout the movie , thus maintaining a screen-viewer interaction that virtually render any holes in the movie acceptable , no matter how ridiculous . 
id4 was produced under a modest budget of us$68 million , a film of such magnitude would have easily been another waterworld but director roland emmerich ( universal soldier , stargate ) and producer dean devlin assembled a team which did their own special effects rather than commissioning it to ilm or any other special effects company . 
some of the effects are not too good but most of it are very believable , especially the epic standoff between 150 f-18's and 250 alien saucers , reminiscence of the classic space battle featured in return of the jedi . 
id4 is a movie for all . 
though there are many explosions and implied deaths , there are no gory scenes of human destruction , thus young kids should be able to take it . 
sit back and don't be too critical , chances are you will be absorbed into the movie just as i was . 
if you are not planning to watch any movies this year , please , at least make time for this one . 
this film is best watched on the big-screen . 
"
"1","the trailers and the beginning of the move sum up this plot very easily . 
three filmmakers venture into the woods of maryland to track down the legend of the blair witch for a documentary they are making . 
they disappear and their footage is discovered a year later buried underneath the foundation of a one hundred year old house . 
from there , things become a little more complicated . 
i can say , with absolute assurance , that no film has ever had quite the impact that this little movie has had on me . 
although i know it was all a staged "" mockumentary "" , there's no denying the psychological impact this film will leave on you . 
i didn't feel much upon initially watching it . 
i just thought it was an interesting film with some pretty creepy parts . 
i never even dreamed that thirty minutes after the film had ended i would be frightened out of my mind just discussing it with a friend . 
i've gotten chills every time i've brought it up since then . 
this is not a movie that hits you right away . 
instead this is a movie that sits at the base of your spine , waits until you think everything is okay , then it slowly starts to creep it's way up into your mind . 
this is truly the most frightening movie i have ever had the pleasure to watch . 
the film is comprised of home video and 16mm camera footage that the documentarians supposedly shot for their blair witch film , so don't expect any steadi-cam shots or fancy camera work . 
this is as real as it gets folks . 
i don't recommend sitting too close to the theater screen though , because i guarantee you will get motion sickness from the constant movement of the camera . 
the performances of the three lead actors in the film are so real , you may find yourself questioning whether all of this has really happened or not . 
this is definitely a movie that warrants home video viewing , especially due to the fact that the bulk of the movie was shot with a standard home video camera . 
the reality of the images will strike frighteningly close to home when viewed as actual video instead of the tape-to-film transfer done for the big screen . 
word has it that a special edition dvd with boatloads of extras ( hours of deleted scenes , alternate endings , commentary , the sci-fi channel special , and others ) is being planned for release . 
i urge artisan entertainment to forge ahead with this plan and give us what could be the dvd to rival all dvd's . 
i know i'll be first in line to buy one . 
[r] 
"
"1","apocalypse now , based on the novel "" hearts of darkness "" , is an extremely striking , gripping , and horrifying depiction of the vietnam war from another angle . 
a long debate has surrounded this movie as if it is actually an anti-war film . 
in many ways , this debate could go either way . 
apocalypse now is probably one of the most memorable vietnam war films ever made . 
in addition , now film has gone to the extremes that this film does - a disturbing look at the corruption and terrifying effects of the most devastating war of recent years . 
apocalypse now follows the mission captain benjamin l . willard , played by martin sheen , to seek out and eliminate colonel walter e . kurtz , a green beret who is thought to have gone insane and set up his own militant base in cambodia . 
captain willard is ordered to assassinate kurtz with "" extreme prejudice "" because he has been deemed a murderer . 
willard accepts his mission , but not while pondering the accusation . 
accusing someone of murder in this situation is like "" handing out speeding tickets at the indy 500 "" , as he puts it . 
it doesn't make too much sense . 
escorting him on his mission are a group of men who operate a riverboat . 
the men are chef ( frederic forrest ) , chief ( albert hall ) , lance johnson ( sam bottoms ) and mr . clean ( a fifteen year-old laurence fishburne ) . 
willard is ordered not to let them know exactly what his mission is , but they all know it is something big . 
the men encounter many exciting , dangerous and bizarre situations . 
but no situation is more bizarre than the infamous napalm scene with a very eccentric robert duvall as lieutenant colonel kilgore . 
kilgore decides to attack and overtake a certain beach area so that his men can surf . 
surf . 
this is all inspired when kilgore is able to meet the famed california surfer lance johnson . 
duvall's portrayal as lieutenant colonel kilgore is terrific , and , he provides a number of memorable quotes . 
eventually , captain willard encounters colonel kurtz's frightening community full of strange things everywhere you look , especially his followers . 
one of his main followers is a freelance photographer ( dennis hopper ) who attempts to convey the situations to willard . 
but willard cannot understand the madness that encompasses the colony . 
kurtz is actually well aware of willard's mission , and refers to him as "" an errand boy sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill "" . 
yet willard is intent on completing his mission , no matter what shocking things kurtz does . 
apocalypse now , possibly one of the greatest films ever made , is a stunning vision into the madness that corresponds to the vietnam war . 
a movie that will hypnotize you with it's brilliant cinematography , apocalypse now is an outstanding epic drama about the controversial and horrifying ravages of war . 
definitely on the "" do not miss "" list . 
be prepared for a very memorable film . 
"
"1","sometimes i find 19th century british costume dramas a little hard to relate to . 
it's not the time or the distance , it's the rules and conventions of a social class that deserves resentment rather than sympathy . 
yet somehow , the movies are all well made and i always get caught up in the story . 
the wings of the dove fits the pattern . 
kate ( helena bonham carter ) and merton ( linus roache ) are in love . 
merton , a newspaper writer , would like to marry kate . 
but kate's "" job "" , if you will , is to be a member of the british upper class . 
her father lost all of her family's money , but a wealthy aunt agreed to take care of her until she married a nice rich man . 
naturally , a newspaper writer's wages don't count as "" rich . "" 
kate leads him on , but she always ends up giving him the cold shoulder , ultimately because he's not marriageable . 
kate's american friend millie ( alison elliot ) stops in for a visit on her way to venice . 
at a party , millie catches a glimpse of merton and likes what she sees . 
kate realizes that if merton were introduced to millie , he might forget about her . 
it appears that she is trying to spare him from the heartbreak of their inevitable breakup . 
merton sees what kate is doing and resents her for it . 
he is still in love with kate , and will accept no substitute . 
the three of them , along with a fourth friend ( elizabeth mcgovern ) end up on holiday in venice together , where their interactions are quite complicated . 
let's sum up : millie has fallen for merton . 
merton has no feelings for millie because he is still in love with kate . 
kate loves him but can't marry him , so on the one hand she's trying to match him up with someone who will make him happy , but on the other hand she's jealous of them as a couple . 
a clear solution presents itself to kate when she realizes that millie is very sick - dying , in fact . 
at this point she decides that merton should marry millie until she dies . 
millie will leave her money to merton , who will then be rich enough to marry kate . 
she lets merton know of her schemes and , since it will help him win kate , he reluctantly agrees . 
kate leaves venice so that the two m's can be alone together . 
merton finds that pretending to love millie is a lot like actually loving her . 
he's not sure he can separate the two . 
kate finds that she's not so sure she really wants her merton falling in love with and marrying anyone else . 
the brilliant scheme proves to be painful to all involved . 
without revealing the details , suffice it to say that the situation ends badly . 
the title refers to the object of merton's vain hope that something might lift him from his predicament . 
one is left with feelings of regret and despair . 
what started as such a promising relationship was damaged by greed , anger , and jealousy . 
an interesting thought struck me after the movie was over , and that is that the wings of the dove almost fits the story line of a film noir . 
a couple conspires to cheat someone out of their money so they can live happily ever after . 
their involvement in the deception makes each less attractive to the other , and after a few things go wrong , the whole idea seems like an awful life-ruining mistake . 
i wouldn't call the wings of the dove a film noir , but the comparison is interesting . 
as i have acknowledged before , i am not a wonderful judge of acting , but i liked the performances from roache and elliot . 
roache successfully conveyed his character's ambivalence toward millie : near the end , he hugs her , at first staring into space , as if he's thinking about his plan with kate , then giving that up to fully embrace millie . 
millie's part didn't require as much range , but elliot gave her the necessary bubbly personality that made her irresistible . 
i will probably file away the wings of the dove in the same low-traffic corner of my mind as sense and sensibility and persuasion . 
their settings are far removed from my personal experience - geographically , historically , and socially . 
still , the movies are well made and the stories inevitably win me over . 
"
"1","earlier this year , the movie holy man opened to a meager box office receipt and to indifference from audiences and critics . 
a real charmer of a movie , it's possible that the subject matter was too hip or trendy to attract any real audience . 
now , at the end of 1998 , comes waking ned devine , a comedy which inspires the same vein of easygoing laughter . 
there's no substantial difference between the two other than a more refined atmosphere -- they strike all the same chords -- but still , ned devine is a movie worth seeing . 
the plot is interesting and robust : the latest lottery winner is ned devine ( jimmy keogh ) , of tullymore , ireland . 
ned's prize is over six million pounds , but the shock of winning killed the poor old man , and the check remains unclaimed . 
enter jackie o'shea ( ian bannen ) and michael o'sullivan ( david kelly ) , the only two residents who are aware the winner is in their village . 
the two men eventually find the ticket , and decide that if michael can convince the lotto authorities that he's actually ned , the entire town can reap the benefits ; their only adversary is an ancient old woman ( eileen dromey ) who sees more profit in reporting the fraud . 
ian bannen and david kelly truly shine as jackie and michael . 
jackie , stocky and large , is the brains behind the operation ; michael , scrawny and short , is the method man . 
the two contrast each other delightfully , and at the same time remain sympathetic to the audience . 
every viewer is sure to like both of them . 
there are other minor subplots included as well , such as an unlikely romance between a local girl and the town pig farmer . 
this appears quite inconsequential until the end , and even with a startling revelation it's a tad bit unnecessary . 
overall , waking ned devine has a predictable outcome , and plot twists are never really taken seriously . 
the ending , a very hilarious and very ironic twist of fate , somehow fits with the twisted sense of humor the movie exhibits throughout . 
the kirk jones script is indeed off-the-cuff . 
in a way , waking ned devine is exactly like the class of people it presents : warm , friendly , outgoing , and jovial . 
it's the perfect kind of comedy , a real gem of a tale that sets up a trivial plot outline by which to introduce a sympathetic cast of characters and a string of jokes . 
there's nothing remotely serious or grounded for more than a moment or two , because the spirit of ned devine is a lighthearted one . 
indeed , it's one of the year's best feel-good movies -- 91 minutes of unrestrained joy that no one should miss . 
"
"1","susan granger's review of "" the perfect storm "" ( warner bros . ) 
 "" more people die on fishing boats , per capita , than working in any other job in the u . s . . 
every journey a fishing boat makes can be an all-or-nothing risk . 
it is life at its most exhilarating and its most terrifying , "" says director wolfgang petersen ( "" das boot "" ) . 
and that's just what he captures in this true story of struggle and humanity aboard a swordfishing boat , the andrea gail , sailing out of gloucester , massachusetts , in late october , 1991 . 
early in bill wittliff's screenplay , based on sebastian junger's best-seller , we meet the crew of six . 
the veteran captain ( george clooney ) is frustrated because he can't find fish on the grand banks , yet a rival skipper ( mary elizabeth mastrantonio ) brings in huge hauls . 
his right-hand man ( mark walhberg ) needs money to build a new life with his girl-friend ( diane lane ) . 
there's a devoted dad ( john c . reilly ) with an estranged wife and son , a free-spirited jamaican ( allen payne ) , a lonely guy ( john hawkes ) , and a last-minute replacement with a bad attitude ( william fichtner ) . 
the skipper's convinced he can change his bad luck streak in remote flemish cap , and he does . 
but then trouble begins . 
there's a rogue wave , a man overboard and the ice machine breaks - with 60 , 000 lb . 
of fish that could spoil . 
but that's minor compared with a deadly monster storm approaching which a boston meteorologist describes as "" a disaster of epic proportions "" that also threatens the lives of a coast guard helicopter rescue team trying to save three people stranded on a sailboat on the high seas . 
it's formulaic and there are cliches , but the walls of water , created by fluid dynamics simulating real-life phenomena , are awesome . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" the perfect storm "" is a terrifying , suspenseful 8 . 
hang on for the white-knuckle thrill ride of the summer ! 
"
"1","just in time for halloween and christmas , the reissue of the nightmare before christmas couldn't be more appropriate . 
with all of the attention thrown to "" family films "" in recent years , namely those starring pocket monsters and nickelodeon characters , it's high time we raised the intellectual level of children's fare as well as the animation achievements of the movie studios . 
with that in mind , it was refreshing to revisit an animation classic on the big screen that still retains the originality and freshness it had seven years ago . 
nightmare is the story of one man's quest to discover his true purpose in life -- to look beyond the accolades of his peers , the achievements of his years , and the praise of his ego . 
jack skellington , the pumpkin king of halloweentown , is the main dude behind the halloween holiday for kids everywhere . 
but during his reign as pumpkin king , jack has somehow lost his understanding of his place in the world and the magic he creates with his halloween holiday . 
after the completion of one particular halloween season , jack walks with a heavy heart and ends up discovering in the woods outside halloweentown a grove of trees with doors to all of the other holidays in the world . 
imagine his surprise to discover christmastown , a far more impressive and uplifting holiday than halloween , surrounded by happy elves making toys , and with good cheer all around . 
upon his return to halloweentown , jack decides to combine halloween and christmas together by kidnapping "" sandy claws , "" employing all the residents of halloweentown to build toys for children . 
he then aims to take over the role as primary joy-provider and gift-bearer to the children of the world , in the hopes of rediscovering the zest for life he once had . 
alas , the co-mingling of halloween and christmas creates disastrous results involving shrunken heads , psychotic wooden ducks , a sleigh pulled by a phantom dog with a lighted nose , and a large , sinister , singing bag named oogie boogie 
tim burton -- the man behind such great films as ed wood , beetlejuice , pee-wee's big adventure , and edward scissorhands -- is the creative force behind nightmare . 
originally , burton authored a poem that became the basis of the storyline , and he was jointly involved in the production design of the film ( though many mistakenly assume he directed the picture ) . 
the stamp of burton is clearly everywhere in the film -- with bold colors , imaginative character design , and it's simple yet compelling story . 
the direction of harry selick , who also directed james and the giant peach , is strong , offering intimate views of the strange collection of characters . 
also memorable are the songs in the film , written by former oingo boingo lead singer danny elfman , the next john williams of film composing . 
the nightmare before christmas is intended for both the kid and adult in everyone . 
it's not just child's play for the holidays ; it's a movie about how to be truly happy in a tough world , saying that all you need to do is just be exactly who you are , without compromise . 
what better message is there for christmas ? 
"
"1","every once in a while a movie comes along that completely redefines the genre : with dramas , it was citizen kane , with arthouse it was pulp fiction , and with comedy it was , well , that jim carrey guy ( okay , so he's not a movie , but he did have a huge influence on the genre . 
not to mention an expensive one . ) 
sometimes a movie even combines them all into a big , sprawling motion picture event , as did forrest gump four years ago . 
with action films , it was aliens , whic was released to much hype seven years after it's equally-innovative parent , alien ( 1979 ) . 
directed and written by james cameron ( t2 : judgement day , the abyss , true lies ) , the authority on action films , it was a masterful encore to his sci-fi thriller the terminator ( 1984 ) . 
while the original alien film was a dark , enclosed horror film that featured one alien slowly massacering a horrified crew , james cameron took the big-budget action film with aliens , which featured multiple aliens doing basically the same thing , although on a much-larger scale . 
and boy , did he take that route ! 
i'd say at about 165 mph or so . . . 
the film opens 57 years after the original , with lt . ripley ( weaver ) being found in her ship in a cryogenic state by a salvage vessel . 
if you'll recall , at the end of alien ripley , the only surviving member , cryogenically "" hibernated "" herself after expelling the rogue alien from her ship . 
unfortunately , she thought she'd only be out for a couple of weeks . . . 
once she's returned to earth , ripley is quickly interrogated by "" the company "" , who quickly dismiss her and her stories as lunacy . 
in truth , they believe her , as they soon approach ripley with an offer to travel with some marines to a new colony planet as an "" alien advisor "" . 
it seems that the colony planet was a once-breeding ground for the nasty aliens , and now all communication with the planet has been lost . . . 
it doesn't exactly take a genius to guess what happens next : ripley agrees , and before you can say "" big mistake "" , she and the half dozen marines , plus the slimy corporate guy ( reiser ) , who has more than it looks like up under his sleeve , are off to the colony . 
when they arrive , they find the planet in ruins . 
only one survivor is found , a little girl , newt , who confirms that , yes , the aliens were here and that she only managed to survive by hidding in the ventilation system . 
and soon enough , the marines come under attack from the aliens . . . 
what happens for the next hour and a half or so is what completely sets this movie apart from any other standard alien sci-fi movie : the action scenes . 
cameron directs them so skillfully , and so suspensefully , that you're literally ringing your hands by the time the finale rolls around . 
which features , in my opinion , the best fight scene ever recorded on film , as ripley straps herself into a huge robot and battles the nasty queen alien to the death . 
many people will tell you that this film , while being a great action film , has no real drama and is all cliches . 
well , they would be wrong , my friends . 
if this film had no "" drama "" , then why was sigourney weaver nominated for best actress at the 1987 academy awards ? 
that's right , best actress . 
you know that any action film that has an oscar nomination attached to it for something other than technical stuff like editing and f/x has got to be good . 
in short , aliens combines all the right elements ( great action and f/x , drama , a good plot , good dialogue , and great villains ) into what could arguably be called the best action film of all time . 
then again , maybe not . 
movies rise and fall from glory and , sad to say , aliens was wrestled from it's throne of best action movie by another cameron film , t2 : judgement day , in 1991 . 
so who will be the next king ? 
well , let's wait until december 19th and see yet another james cameron film-the highest budgeted film of all time-titanic to make that decision . 
i can't wait . 
"
"1","in 1995 , brian singer and christopher mcquarrie dreamed up a simple concept : the audience isn't stupid . 
from that , they went on and created the most plot-driven , intricately pieced movie in the last 25 years . 
the result : the usual suspects , one hell of a movie that redefines the word plot twist . 
the story is convoluted , and is really confusing to read , although easy to follow on screen . 
special investigator kujan ( chazz palminteri ) grills "" verbal "" kint ( kevin spacey ) , a crippled con-man who is the lone survivor of an la boat explosion that claimed more than 20 victims . 
kujan wants to confirm that his nemesis , the rogue cop keaton ( gabriel byrne ) , is actually dead . 
kint relates the majority of the film in flashback , beginning with the fateful day when five shifty guys meet in a police-station lineup in new york city . 
along with dour keaton , kint encounters cheerfully sociopathic mcmanus ( stephen baldwin ) , mordantly sarcastic hockney ( kevin pollak ) , and fenster ( benicio del toro ) , whose speech is virtually incomprehensible . 
together they plot to steal a small fortune in gems from "" new york's finest taxi service "" --crooked cops who provide escort service for visiting drug kingpins . 
what follows is a shell-game of violence and betrayal , all hinging on the identity of a mysterious villain called keyser soze . 
the film is brilliantly compact : its the shortest 90 minutes you'll ever spend in a movie theater . 
the cast is exceptional . 
palminteri shines , he is brutally honest , a true cop , one who is going after the whole story because its there . 
byrne is terrific , his brooding character , his seriousness is needed to supplement the hysteria of benicio del toro , who is a riot as fenster . 
del toro is brilliant , his lines are a jumbled mess , you can't understand a word the man says , but it sure is damn funny . 
baldwin is also very good , he is careful , methodical , and cold , a chilling character with a nasty streak of hot-blooded sarcasm . 
pollak is also terrific as usual , a very good character actor . 
however , this will be forever known as the film that launched kevin spacey . 
spacey is simply breathtaking , he is a force on screen , giving a magnetic performance that jars the senses at the end of this twisting maze . 
spacey's performance will be remembered for years , for it is the best of his career , it may be the best supporting actor performance in the last 50 years . 
verbal kint is a clever storyteller , weak , oppressed , and gleefully evil to the bone , yet pitiful , one who draws sympathy . 
the film is a good one , a decent film until the last 10 minutes . 
what this film boils down to is the greatest ending in cinematic history , for me at least . 
the revelation of keyser soze , the closing gunfights , it is something wondrous . 
you have to see this movie about 10 times to believe what they do . 
kudos to mcquarrie and singer for giving the audience a delightful , fast-paced , furiously plot-driven movie with quirky characters , phenomenal acting , and some hilarious moments stuck in the middle . 
mcquarrie refuses to believe the audience is dumb . 
without furnishing too many details , he concocts his story and lets it run , hoping the audience gets it at the end . 
we do . 
this might just be the finest cinematic puzzle ever created . 
kudos also to singer and john ottman , who created the score . 
they both create what is a true film-noir setting , carefully setting up this intricate puzzle until the final , jarring ending . 
there are flaws : more questions raised than answers , lack of character development , and no strong female characters ( save one ) . 
however , the plot , and that stunning ending , make up for all the flaws and more . 
if you haven't seen the movie , rent it . 
watch it . 
then rewind the tape , and watch it again . 
trust me , you'll be amazed . 
"
"1","it has happened again . 
a movie that is well scripted , well acted , and well directed . 
it is involving , suspenseful . . . 
it even has an unexpected twist at the end that packs a punch like a blow to the solar plexus . 
but in order to accept its premise one must also accept a spiritual lie . 
the sixth sense is that movie . 
starring bruce willis ( armageddon ) as a child psychologist and haley joel osment ( forrest gump ) as a troubled youngster , the sixth sense is more spooky than scary , though it does contain disturbing images designed to startle . 
eight-year-old cole sear ( osment ) sees dead people . 
not just in dreams . 
and not just as lifeless bodies . 
he sees them walking around like regular people . 
and he sees them all the time . 
dr . malcolm crowe ( willis ) is trying to help him . 
he recognizes in cole many of the same attributes as one of his earlier patients whom crowe failed , resulting in that patient shooting crowe before turning the gun on himself . 
if crowe could manage to find a way to help cole , he believes he just might be able to put his own demons to rest . 
but first he needs to gain cole's trust . 
the boy is so frightened by what he sees , he has closed himself off emotionally , being unwilling to tell anyone . . . 
not crowe , not even his own mother ( toni collette , clockwatchers ) . . . 
about his "" secrets . "" 
crowe begins to spend more and more time with him , even as his own marriage starts to dissolve around him , his wife anna ( olivia williams , rushmore ) becoming cold and distant because of his neglect of her and his preoccupation with the boy . 
bruce willis underplays his role , allowing the excellent script to do most of the work of building character development . 
crowe moves from treating a troubled boy who won't communicate , to treating a troubled boy who is having hallucinations , to wondering if perhaps there isn't some truth behind what the boy sees . 
mr . willis does a serviceable job , letting the focus remain on the story instead of on his familiar action hero screen persona . 
eleven-year-old haley joel osment manages to impress us with his performance . 
he demonstrates an amazing amount of self-composure as well as an ability to play nuances in a complex character as if he were a seasoned pro . 
it is fine work for one of such a tender age . 
keep your eye on this young man . 
the supporting cast is also quite effective . 
toni collette , as the confused , frightened , and frustrated mother who can't understand what is happening to her child ; olivia williams , as crowe's once loving wife who is shutting down emotionally due to the lack of attention from her husband ; and donnie wahlberg ( ransom ) as crowe's ex-patient , now grown , who illustrates his doctor's failure to help him in the most vivid terms imaginable . 
twenty-eight year old m . night shyamalan ( wide awake ) directed his own script , maintaining a proper tension throughout the film and crafting the storytelling so expertly that the film's full impact is not reached until its final moments , when a surprising revelation forces a reevaluation of all that preceded it . 
it is a rare movie which manages to pull that off and mr . shyamalan , as the one responsible , is certainly to be commended . 
in giving the sixth sense a favorable "" three star "" review for its craftsmanship and artistic merit , i must also point out that , spiritually speaking , the film is highly misleading . 
there is no scriptural foundation upon which to base a belief in ghosts or the "" living dead . "" 
the concept of death being a doorway to another plane of existence is a devilish lie that has been around as long as man himself . 
the first lie recorded in the bible was devised by the serpent who assured eve , "" thou shall not surely die , "" a direct contradiction of god's admonition . 
that same lie has been perpetuated ad infinitum throughout the ages . 
scriptures do speak of a time when the dead shall rise but that wonderful demonstration of victory over death will not commence until after the second coming of christ . . . 
an event which has not yet occurred . 
therefore , the dead remain in a state of oblivion , having no consciousness , until that long-awaited time when the final trump shall sound . 
and then , you'll need six senses to register all the joy and rejoicing that will resound throughout the heavens . 
"
"1","in the grand scheme of mel gibson movies , payback was better than conspiracy theory , but not as good as braveheart or lethal weapon . 
in other words , it's a decent couple of hours of entertainment , but 20 years from now if a they compile a list of mel gibson's greatest hits , payback probably won't be on it . 
gibson plays a crook who gets double crossed by his partner after they heist a payroll . 
mel's partner needed the money to pay off a mob debt . 
so he puts a couple of bullets in mel , leaving him for dead , and goes on to pay off his creditors . 
but , mel isn't dead ( it would be a real short movie if he was ) and he certainly isn't happy . 
to make matters worse , he wants his money back and is willing to go to any lengths to accomplish this feat . 
his ex partner has already used it to pay off the mobsters , so mel goes after the mob to get it back . 
payback is often a very violent film . 
to its credit , there are a few scenes that could have been very graphic , but the director ( i'm not sure which one -- more about that in a second ) made the choice to let the audience use their imagination instead of subjecting us to the usual gratuitous gore found in many films . 
the film appears a bit disjointed in places , which is understandable considering producer / star gibson wasn't thrilled with how the film turned out and wanted parts of it re-shot . 
when the director refused , another one was brought in to do the re-shoot . 
so as a result while the final product is apparently better than the original ( although personally i would love to see the original version for comparisons sake ) it does get a bit of a choppy feel to it towards the end . 
it's always tough to make a film where the main character is a villain , unless that person has some redeeming qualities . 
in this case , gibson's character has few redeeming qualities . 
but hey , its mel , so even when he is killing people in cold blood we are still rooting for him . 
my guess is that if that you put some other johnny bananas actor in this role , the audience would not be quite as responsive . 
gibson is gibson , whether he is playing a suicidal cop or a stone cold killer , he does a good job . 
he almost guarantees that no matter what else happens in the rest of the movie at least the audience is going to get one good performance . 
this time out mel is surrounded by a good supporting cast , including maria bello ( as his love interest ) , william devane and kris kristofferson ( as mod bosses ) . 
the man who steals the show and unfortunately doesn't have a real big part is james coburn ( as yet another mobster ) . 
if i had one big disappointment in this film , it would be that coburn didn't have a bigger role . 
in the end , payback is a fairly solid action thriller , just not in quite the same league as some of mel gibson's other work . 
"
"1","the thought-provoking question of tradition over morals is the subject directly at the core of "" leila , "" a powerfully articulated and subtle drama from famous iranian director dariush mehrjui , that is his first motion picture in a prosperous thirty-year career to gain u . s . distribution , thanks to first run features . 
although unfamiliar with mehrjui's previous directing efforts , perhaps the reason for this is that , while the predicament at hand is no doubt exclusive to its own country , the heartbreaking and solely truthful emotions of the characters can easily be understood by all viewers . 
set in modern-day iran , "" leila "" begins on the birthday of the title character ( leila hatami ) , after a brief prologue in which we are shown the first encounter between leila and her future husband , reza ( ali mosaffa ) . 
as leila and reza set off to visit his parents , and then hers , where a birthday celebration has been planned , things seem rosy for the couple on the outside , but for leila , life isn't quite as sweet . 
earlier , on that very same day , leila had gone to see her physician , and has ultimately discovered that she holds very little chance of ever conceiving a child . 
when all of the conditions are ruled out , and leila passes up the possibility of adoption , reza firmly and lovingly tells her that he married her , and doesn't care at all about having children . 
nonetheless , leila is ashamed that she will never be able to give him a baby , which is the societal norm , and her self-esteem is not helped at all by her domineering mother-in-law ( jamileh sheikhi ) , whose hopes to carry on the sacred family name vanishes once hearing the news ( reza is her only son ) . 
bluntly explaining to leila that reza has always wished for children and , in a country where polygamy is an accepted tradition , she suggests that he take a second wife to bear a child with . 
leila hesitantly agrees , and while she and reza are able to shallowly laugh afterwards about the hopeful womens' inadequacies , reza finally does meet a woman whom he claims to like , even though he refuses to go through with the marriage if leila doesn't give her full blessing . 
there are no easy answers to be found within "" leila , "" a film that thoughtfully examines the central character's unfortunate plight , as well as the inner workings of leila herself , told through matter-of-fact narration . 
almost completely taken over by her own shame , she has no option but to agree to her forceful mother-in-law's requests , even though she is unsure of how she will react if reza really does end up marrying another woman . 
maybe because "" leila "" is from iran , the film will unquestionably be shocking for american audiences , since the concept of polygamy is looked upon by the characters as a more or less everyday occurrence . 
leila , however , is unable to come to terms with the idea quite as easily , but feels it is her duty to make her husband happy , no matter what the circumstances . 
one of the strongest aspects of the film is in its portrayal of the relationship between leila and reza , who married only three months after their first meeting , but obviously love each other very deeply . 
it is this relationship that is the key ingredient to making what follows the opening scenes all the more powerful , and director mehrjui has succeeded just about as well as possible . 
although seemingly unimportant at first glance , an early sequence where leila and reza are eating dinner and both are laughing , nearly uncontrollably , actually is one of the most vital moments in the first half , as it unmistakably sets the boundary for their unrequisite love for one another . 
ditto for another scene in which reza gives leila a large stuffed animal for her birthday , and then reveals a beautiful necklace he has also gotten her . 
these "" small "" moments are the perfect contrast for the solemn , outraging sequences in the latter half , in which reza drops leila off at the side of a busy road , and then zooms off to go on a date with another woman . 
left there to ponder her quickly diminishing marriage , foolishly unbeknownst to reza , leila prays each time that the date will not go well , so she will be able to keep her husband to herself for a little while longer . 
refusing to stay over at her parent's house , the film inevitably leads up to the second wedding night between reza and another woman , and in a sequence of extraordinary sorrow and potency , leila finds her whole being emotionally torn apart , as she is closed up in an upstairs bedroom as the marriage proceedings are going on down below . 
despite her initial agreement to such a thing , leila realizes how much she has been betrayed by reza , whom she believed cared for her as much as she did of him . 
sure , the whole second marriage was his mother's idea , but if he really did believe what he initially had told her about not wanting any children , then he could have still easily backed out , couldn't he ? 
in the pivotal role of leila , who appears in every scene , leila hatami is nothing short of remarkable , injecting her character with an equal measure of startling strength , unavoidable vulnerability , and utter despair . 
unlike most american films , in which everything always has to be spelled out for audiences , hatami says much more with just an elusive expression on her face than could possibly have been conveyed by words . 
every bit a perfect match for hatami is ali mosaffa , as reza , a man who , i believe , does hold an unbreakable bond with his wife , but is too naive to realize what he will be doing to leila if he marries someone else . 
for all of its strong aspects , "" leila "" isn't a perfect film . 
on a technical level , i found many blatant punctiation and spelling mistakes within the subtitles that need to be fixed . 
and concerning the plot developments , the final five minutes ring false when compared with everything that has come before . 
mehrjui's decision to use an extremely stylized approach to the ending was the wrong choice , particularly in his almost comedic way of wrapping up the character of the spiteful mother-in-law , played memorably by jamileh sheikhi . 
despite these minor missteps , "" leila "" is an important motion picture that should definately be sought out upon its limited may 16 release at new york's cinema village , and then on may 21 in la . 
the thought-provoking questions that the film deals with is balanced evenly with its uneasy morales , and when the climax arrives , leila's self-worth is startlingly stripped away to reveal a victim led into complete devastation , to which there is no return . 
it's difficult to not consider how leila's culminating interior demise could have been so simply avoided , had the other characters taken a second out of their own selfish lives to consider what leila , the major pawn in the unforgivable scheme , was going through . 
"
"1","barely scrapping by playing at a nyc piano bar , timothy hutton returns to his massachusetts hometown for a couple of weeks . 
on the surface , he's coming home for a high school reunion , but since this is a movie , you know that he's really looking for some major life decisions . 
a fairly "" small "" film , this sports an impressive ensemble cast including uma thurman , rosie o'donnell and a bunch of actors that you've seen before but can't quite place . 
commendable jobs all around ; they seem like real people . 
hutton arrives at his past and is greeted by his spirit-dead father , terminally goony brother and old high school chums . 
all of his old buddies are engaged in the snow removal business and most are in the midst of a relationship crisis . 
the perfect stuff for a comedy about people in the twenties angst . 
he meets and falls for the new next door neighbor : a beautiful intelligent lively girl who is obviously taken with him . 
the problem is that she is only 13 . 
unconsummated ( no , it's not _that_ type of movie ) , their relationship builds and neither knows what to do with it . 
star-crossed lovers with no where to go . 
so hutton is gaga over a barely-teen , one of his buddies is two-timing his girlfriend with a married old flame , another's girlfriend is sleeping with a meat cutter ( "" and she's a vegetarian ! "" ) . 
things are a mess . 
enter uma thurman . 
the beautiful stranger in town for a few days is both a delight in the film and one of its minor downfalls . 
her character is fun to watch . 
even more entertaining is observing the guys falling over themselves trying to impress her . 
like the lone ranger , before she leaves , she solves most of the problems and sets everyone onward with their lives . 
the ending is a bit too pat . 
everything is tied up with a neat little bow . 
rosie o'donnell is a stand-out in her limited screen time with her brash personality and "" tell it like it is "" pronouncements . 
structured somewhat like a "" diner , a few years later "" , this feel-good story is a good time , but ends a little too nice . 
"
"1","it's an interesting premise . 
our reality is only real to us because it is what we perceive to be real . 
in truth , our entire existences are lived out in our minds as we are fed information through electronic inputs directly to our brains . 
what we see , what we do , everything around us is nothing more than a computer-generated construct interlinked with the minds of others through a vastly powerful artificial intelligence . 
our bodies , severely atrophied , are kept alive for the sole purpose of generating heat and electrical energy for a dominating order of machines which control the planet . 
the sci-fi realm has been waiting a little while for something new to come along . 
the matrix isn't it - the idea of a war between man and a sentient computer network , a sham world , the ability to plug one's brain into a computer , has all been gleaned from such sources as the terminator , dark city , and a few star trek episodes ( both classic and next generation ) . 
what is new is the ability to weave all of these various elements together and succeed in producing a film that is both entertaining as well as thought-provoking . 
keanu reeves plays a computer whiz nicknamed neo , who is plucked out of the artificial world ( known as the matrix ) by a group of renegade humans who are clandestinely fighting to expose the fallacy of the computer-generated existence and free humankind from the oppression of the machines . 
the group's leader , morpheus ( laurence fishburne ) , has chosen neo because he believes neo is "" the one "" who is destined to lead the attack against the artificial intelligence . 
>from the beginning of the film , we are kept on our toes trying to figure things out . 
this , in a lesser movie would be annoying , but the matrix presents itself in an intelligent manner which makes the puzzle rather interesting and even fun . 
what is reality ? 
what is a sham ? 
the film turns our very perception of life on its side . 
more than once , we are also presented with the question of whether we would rather know the harsh truth of reality , or live a life of relative bliss , oblivious to the true nature of our surroundings . 
as viewers , this is intriguing enough , so imagine what it would be like for neo . 
and who to better play a bewildered person than keanu reeves ? 
reeves , whom i've never really cared for as an actor , is competent in roles which require a lot of straightforwardness , and little subtlety . 
he was good in speed , for example , but laughably poor in a walk in the clouds . 
neo is actually one of those roles which reeves slips into rather nicely , so much of my expectation was happily for naught . 
in a couple of places , the script even capitalizes upon his wooden nature , and this is a heavy credit to writers/directors andy and larry wachowski . 
i mean , since bill and ted's excellent adventure , what movie could you say really "" utilized "" keanu reeves ? 
more interesting than reeves is fishburne , who's morpheus nearly runs the gamut of emotions , and convincingly so . 
very surprising for a sci-fi movie . 
fishburne also maintains a certain demeanor about himself throughout , as if he always knows what to expect . 
this helps to further the aura of his character's proficiency and extensive knowledge . 
hugo weaving as agent smith , one of the artificial intelligence's anti-intruder programs , is also good playing his deadpan , no-nonsense , kick ass role , which requires him to show emotion at the appropriate time . 
unfortunately , when weaving speaks for more than a few sentences in a row , the nature of his character's speech pattern becomes a little more laughable than impressive . 
carrie-anne moss plays trinity , morpheus's number one assistant who becomes somewhat of a love interest for neo . 
although her character is somewhat inconsistent , moss nevertheless delivers an above par performance when fishburne isn't in the picture . 
there were few expenses spared when it comes to the special effects . 
many methods of imagery are employed , from modeling to bluescreen to computer graphics . 
of special note is the use of the "" freeze and turn "" effect where the entire scene is frozen , turned , then continued from a new angle . 
this is accomplished by using a large number of still cameras employed in a semi-circle , with motion picture cameras placed at the two ends . 
the motion cameras film the action , and at the appropriate moment all the still cameras fire at once . 
place each still image in a film sequence and you get a nearly seamless transition from the first motion camera to the second . 
pretty slick . 
the matrix drips with style . 
from the clothing to the music to the action , we're watching an exaggerated version of what we're used to . 
much of it seems like the combination of two genres of the hong kong action film - there's a lot of kung fu , there's a lot of gunplay . 
when a character is letting go with an automatic weapon , much is made of the empty cartridges falling to the floor in slow motion . 
there's also the element of the japanese action cartoon ( called anime by aficionados ) , especially in the way the sequences are filmed in sweeping pans and emphasized actions through special effects . 
combined , it's really like no live-action film i have ever seen . 
the film is not without its faults . 
some of the scenes and ideas are "" borrowed "" a little too liberally from other films , and one component of the ending is decidedly disappointing . 
some of the lines are also pretty bad - in one instance , a supporting character incorrectly delivers a famous saying , and it wasn't meant to be a joke . 
however , these shortcomings detract little from what is an overall solid action sci-fi film that for once does more than merely entertain . 
"
"1","one of kyle mclachlan's earlier cinematic features , this movie has had an obvious influence on such films as the terminator ( 8/10 ) , species ( 7/10 ) and the more recent , fallen with denzel washington . 
plot : a science-fiction picture set in modern times , this thriller follows the exploits of an "" entity "" from outer space , who likes to inhabit human bodies , use them up until they are completely worn out , and then switch over to the next available receptacle . 
fbi agent ( mclachlan ) and local top cop ( nouri ) are charged with the capture of this "" thing "" before it's too late . 
critique : this fast-paced , urban equivalent of the thing ( 8/10 ) , checks in on all cylinders for ultra-violence ( god knows how many people died in this movie ) , action and an overall rock 'n roll attitude . 
then again , how can you go wrong with an "" alien "" that likes the ferraris , guns , heavy metal music and sexy girls ? ! 
granted , the plot isn't the most elaborate of tales ( alien bad , find alien , kill alien ) , but i can honestly say that i was never once bored during the viewing of this entire picture . 
i wouldn't recommend it to those who don't like car chases , murders , and bland acting , but for all the rest of you out there , those who enjoy putting away their brains every now and again , sitting back , slamming back some salsa'd nachos , and relishing in the cheeze some call film . . . 
have a blast ! ! 
two scenes to watch for are both within the first ten minutes of this gore-fest . 
the opening sequence is one of the most rockin' scenes to open any action movie , and the subsequent extra-terrestrial "" transformation "" is another eye-catcher . 
even the late 80's special effects were okay . 
followed by the hidden ii in 1994 . 
little known facts : this film was kyle maclachlan's first non-david lynch foray into the world of feature films . 
his first two movie appearances were in lynch's wretched dune ( 4/10 ) and the sensational blue velvet ( 8 . 5/10 ) 
"
"1","i want to correct what i wrote in a former retrospective of david lean's war picture . 
i still think that it doesn't deserve being the number 13 in the american film institute's list of the 100 greatest american movies . 
and i think that lumet's "" 12 angry men "" , wilder's "" witness for the prosecution "" and kubrick's "" paths of glory "" would have been better choices for the best picture oscar in 1958 . 
but i can't deny the importance of "" the bridge on the river kwai "" - cinematically and in its contents . 
the film is set in burma in 1943 . 
a bataillon of british soldiers in japanese war captivity is forced by the japanese to build a strategically momentous railway bridge over the river kwai . 
but the british commanding officer , colonel nicholson ( alec guinness ) , insists - corresponding to the geneva conventions - that his officers needn't work as simple workmen . 
struggling toughly , col . nicholson forces the japanese commandant , col . saito ( sessue hayakawa ) , to give way in this respect . 
afterwards col . nicholson assiduously commits himself for the building of the bridge . 
he considers it an opportunity to raise his men's morale , and he wants to prove superior british capabilities to the japanese . 
but the british high command sends a few soldiers who shall destroy the bridge , among them the american shears ( william holden ) - an escapee from the japanese prison camp - and the british major warden ( jack hawkins ) . . . 
a flaw of the picture is the clich ? d characterization of the japanese people . 
they are presented as if they were intellectually inferior to the british - as if the japanese were incapable of building a bridge . 
and the film doesn't consistently question the military spirit as kubrick does in "" paths of glory "" . 
lean seems rather fascinated by the military hierarchies . 
this is also perceptible in the conversations between col . nicholson and col . saito . 
in this regard it is symptomatic that shears , who doubts the military logic , is a somehow unpleasant person in the film . 
the audience is supposed to applaud col . nicholson's perseverance concerning the question if his officers shall work on the bridge or not . 
the spectators are supposed to neglect the risks col . nicholson takes for his men . 
 ( the plot by-passes these risks . ) 
that means , the picture isn't perfect . 
but it has a lot of virtues as well . 
it shows the "" madness "" of war and what war can produce in people's minds . 
it shows how col . nicholson becomes possessed by the idea of being a hero and that others ( like shears ) get cynics . 
and "" the bridge on the river kwai "" is an interesting study of characters with clashing interests . 
these points and the sometimes ironic dialogue make this film an anti-war film ( despite the inconsistencies in the treatment of this theme ) . 
david lean's effective and atmospherically perfect direction creates a high suspense , especially in the dramatic ( though not wholly plausible ) showdown . 
alec guinness does a magnificent job of bringing col . nicholson to life and making him such an interesting character . 
the other actors deliver very good performances as well . 
jack hildyard's fine color cinematography and the apt score are also helpful . 
i like this extraordinary film despite its weaknesses . 
 ( c ) karl rackwitz ( klein k ? ris , germany , 1999 ) 
"
"1","of the major horror sub-genres , vampire movies are easily the most adaptable . 
think about it . 
frankenstein movies haven't changed all that much because they still need that mad-scientist-in-bavarian-castle setting . 
if you made a frankenstein movie today , you'd have to have the monster be a virus or something -- and outside of michael j . fox , there aren't any actors that could play a virus convincingly . 
movies about mummies would still have to be set in egypt . 
there's not much you can do with werewolves except take them to london or paris , unless you want to have a teenage werewolf or something . 
 ( and there's that michael j . fox thing again . ) 
but you can have vampires do anything , and you can place them in any genre you want , just about . 
you can have traditional vampire movies ( bram stoker's dracula ) or have the anne rice version ( interview with the vampire ) , or play it for laughs ( vampire in brooklyn ) . 
you can put vampires in locales from sunny southern california ( the lost boys ) to squalid mexican dives ( from dusk till dawn ) to your local high school ( buffy , the vampire slayer ) . 
were it not redundant , you could have a movie about a law firm full of vampires . 
any day now , i expect we'll see a movie about a vampire third baseman who has to decide whether to play a day game in order to break the home run record . 
or , you can insert the vampire legend into a hong kong action movie -- and when you do that , you get blade . 
wesley snipes has the chow yun fat role in this movie -- the silent , expressionless hit man who destroys everything in his path . 
in this case , the everything happens to be vampires that explode into cgi shards instead of dead , bleeding corpses . 
snipes has less to say here than as the fugitive in u . s . marshals , but does a demonstrably better job here as a half-vampire wreaking vengeance on the bloodsuckers . 
blade is a silent , brooding presence , laying waste to vampires without a shred of remorse . 
he is as cold as his silver-bladed sword , as single minded as his garlic-filled bullets . 
yet , he's not without quirks : blade drives a battered muscle car and has to glean rolex watches from his vampire victims in order to stay solvent . 
like any good hong kong movie , blade is heavy on the chopsocky action . 
for some reason , blade spends a lot more time using his kung fu artistry than using the traditional anti-vampire weapons of garlic and silver . 
 ( blade dismisses a man-portable arc lamp as being too heavy , although it looks to be a more efficient tool to dispatch vampires . ) 
unfortunately , the guiding hand of john woo is absent from this film , relegating blade to the status of the replacement killers , which it most strongly resembles . 
the replacement killers is the last movie i saw that i didn't review -- mostly because it made no impression on me , and i couldn't remember anything other than noise , violence , and the intensity of fat's performance . 
blade has a little more going for it , and has the vampire myth to draw from -- but other than that , it's the same kind of movie -- exciting , with well choreographed action scenes , but with no resonance . 
with a stronger villain ( stephen dorff is ( pardon the pun ) curiously bloodless as the head vampire , leaving us to wonder what denis leary might have done with the role ) , a wittier script , and a strong supporting cast , blade might have been able to rise beyond the level of commonplace summer entertainment . 
as it is , blade is an average action movie that serves to do nothing but remind us that the summer movies just keep getting dumber and the vampire movies just keep multiplying . 
"
"1","when quentin tarantino made "" pulp fiction "" , he was not only making the greatest film of the 90s ; he was also making what i believe to be the most influential movie of all time . 
but before you send me hate-mail for not giving that title to "" citizen kane "" , hear me out . 
much like "" citizen kane "" , "" pulp fiction "" has changed movie making forever . 
but i think the latter has had a tad more impact . 
 "" pulp fiction "" has actually ushered in a new era of film making . 
it has altered the way films will be viewed . 
 "" fiction "" has spawned so many imitations , i've lost count . 
sure , some have been excellent ( "" bound "" and "" the usual suspects "" spring immediately to mind ) , but any serious movie-goer recognizes "" pulp fiction "" as the original neo-noir of the 90s . 
in this review , i hope to change all the people's minds who have criticized it for it's excessive profanity and violence ( which , by the way , isn't really that graphic ) . 
the most brilliant aspect of tarantino's masterpiece is the screenplay . 
it is filled with so much classic dialogue ( the "" quarter pounder with cheese "" speech will go down in history ) , it should be required reading for any film student , if it isn't already . 
the story ( told in unorthodox non-linear format ) centers around three main episodes , all of which eventually intertwine . 
the first , titled "" vincent vega and marcellus wallace's wife "" , deals with a very loaded john travolta ( i forgot to mention the cool heroin shoot-up sequence ) taking mia wallace ( a star-making performance by uma thurman ) , his bosses wife , out on a date to a cool 50s restaurant called jack rabbit slim's . 
they talk for a while ( with the occasional "" uncomfortable silence "" ) , mostly about a guy called tony rocky horror . 
after giving marcellus' new bride a foot massage , he was thrown off a building and into a greenhouse , giving him a "" speech impediment "" . 
they also partake in a cool dance contest and end up twisting to the chuck berry classic "" you never can tell "" . 
i won't reveal the rest of the story , but i'll definitely say that it turns out to be a real bummer of a night , despite the cool trophy they win . 
the second story ( the least of the three but still four stars ) stars bruce willis ( proving he can play someone other than john mcclain in the "" die hard "" flicks ) as boxer butch coolidge . 
previously in the film ( like i said , it's told in non-linear form ) , he had made a deal with marcellus wallace that he would take a fall in a match . 
as it turns out , he not only doesn't take the fall , but he ends up actually killing his opponent . 
he takes a cab to his half-witted girlfriend's apartment , and to make a long story short , ends up going back to his own place to retrieve a gold watch , sort of a family heirloom explained by christopher walken in a hilarious flash-back sequence . 
on his way home , he bumps into ( literally ) marcellus . 
the two winde up prisoner to two hillbilly sex murderers , which results in the infamous "" gimp "" scene , which is very reminicent of the "" squeal like a pig ! "" 
scene from "" deliverance "" . 
the last ( and best , in my opinion ) of the episodes features john travolta ( again ) and samuel l . jackson ( in the best performance of any supporting actor ever ) as two slightly off-kilter hitmen trying to rid themselves of a bloody car . 
they seek help with a friend of jackson's ( played by the q-man himself ) , desperately in need of a stress ball . 
they end up calling a "" cleaner "" of sorts , played by the god among men harvey keitel , to help them out . 
in the end , the story brilliantly loops around itself , actually ending where it began . 
if you haven't already seen the film ( or even if you have , for that matter ) , i suggest you invest your money in a copy of the letterbox collectors edition . 
it features two previously unreleased scenes and the original film restored how it was originally meant to be seen . 
earlier today , i bought this version and watched it a few hours ago . 
what the pan-and-scan did to this movie is inexcusable . 
that version cut out , like , half the movie . 
what i have missed in the past years of viewing this flick is amazing . 
for instance , when travolta and jackson are in the apartment near the end , the widescreen version allows you to see that several things on the walls make crosses . 
this might help explain the divine intervention that takes place . 
just a theory . . . 
one of the things that pisses people off so much about this movie is that tarantino borrowed alot of scenes from other movies ( i . e . 
 "" psycho "" "" kiss me deadly "" , "" deliverance "" , etc . ) . 
but why shouldn't he ? 
it's not like he out-right and blatantly stole . 
give the guy a break . 
in case you haven't already noticed , i believe "" pulp fiction "" is a supremely excellent film and one of the best of all time ( up there with such greats as "" casablanca "" and "" the godfather "" ) . 
trust me , you will not see a better film come out of the 90s . 
and besides , it's one hell of a ride . 
note : if anyone knows how i could get a "" bad motherfucker "" wallet , please e-mail me . 
any help would be greatly appreciated . 
"
"1","there's some movies i enjoy even though i know i probably shouldn't and have a difficult time trying to explain why i did . 
 "" lucky numbers "" is a perfect example of this because it's such a blatant rip-off of "" fargo "" and every movie based on an elmore leonard novel and yet it somehow still works for me . 
i know i'm in the minority here but let me explain . 
the film takes place in harrisburg , pa in 1988 during an unseasonably warm winter . 
john travolta plays the local big-shot tv weatherman who is idolized by the townsfolk as if he were john travolta himself and not the bumbling russ richards . 
russ is married to crystal ( lisa kudrow ) , a blonde bimbo if ever there was one in the history of cinema . 
she's a selfish , nasty bitch full of lust and desire but somehow she got the job of the lottery ball girl - not exactly the most intellectually taxing job on the market . 
crystal's cheating on russ with their collective boss dick ( ed o'neil ) , the tv station manager . 
she doesn't seem to genuinely like either of them , but it's all she can do in this one-horse town . 
much like "" fargo , "" this movie tells the story of a man who's going broke and has to pull off a huge scam to get rich quick . 
he enlists the help of his english friend gig ( tim roth ) , the local stripclub owner who tells him how to fix the lottery . 
along the way a subplot involving a two-bit thug named , accurately , "" dale the thug "" ( michael rappaport ) gets mixed up in the process . 
there's also a bookie that somehow gets thrown in the mix once the deal goes down . 
i'm not going to elaborate much further on the plot and story because it continues to unwind and take twists and turns you're not expecting . 
this is a farce , which is basically a straightforward , adult-oriented comedy but doesn't go as far as a classic black comedy should . 
where as "" fargo "" was sometimes shocking and disturbing while being funny , "" lucky numbers "" is just funny because you can't take these characters in these outrageous situations seriously . 
it's all a big cartoon basically , but it's funny and i can respect that . 
travolta is great in his role and even though he's not a really likable character , he's trying to be a nice guy despite the fact he's a creep . 
he's like a gangster with morals who genuinely feels sorry for the guys he has to kill . 
crystal is just the opposite , she's constantly arguing and using whatever brain cells she has left to look out for herself . 
kudrow is perfect in this role since she's spent 8 years on tv as the dim-witted phoebe on "" friends . "" 
here is character is basically a very evil incarnation of phoebe . 
i have to admit i was honestly surprised and pleased by how the plot unraveled and the methods each of the main characters use to try to get their share of the money . 
like "" jackie brown , "" ( an elmore leonard adaption ) , the story is about a circle of 10 characters all after the lottery money that has been won illegally . 
the screenplay does a fine job in balancing the characters and slowly revealing their motivations and hidden agendas while at the same time keep russ richards the main focus . 
more and more characters are introduced and since the film has such an iconic , cartoony atmosphere you can take on faith just what makes the minor characters do what they do . 
the ending itself is great . 
it's surprising and funny and makes you feel good . 
you realize this film has packed in about 10 different movies' worth of stories into two hours' time and didn't fall apart ( although many other critics might beg to differ ) . 
i liked it , and i could see it again - isn't that what makes a movie good ? 
"
"1","this summer , one of the most racially charged novels in john grisham's series , a time to kill , was made into a major motion picture . 
on january 3 of this year , director rob reiner basically re-released the film under the title of ghosts of mississippi . 
based on the true story of 1963 civil rights leader medgar evars' assassination , ghosts of mississippi revolves around the 25-year legal battle faced by myrlie evars ( whoopi goldberg , sister act ) and her quest to have her husband's obvious assassin and racist byron de la beckwith ( james woods , casino ) jailed . 
so she turns to assistant district attorney and prosecutor bobby delaughter ( alec baldwin , heaven's prisoners ) to imprison the former kkk member . 
ghosts sets its tone with an opening montage of images from african-american history , from slave-ship miseries to life in the racist south of the 1960's . 
but all too soon , the white folks take over , intoning lines like "" what's america got to do with anything ? 
this is mississippi ! "" 
as beckwith , james woods , with his head larded with latex most of the time as an old man , teeters between portraying evil and its character . 
meanwhile , goldberg turns in a very serious and weepy performance as the wife who wouldn't let her husband's death rest until she got the conviction . 
both deserve serious oscar-consideration . 
this brings us to the dull performance of baldwin . 
let's face it , trying to match matthew mcconaughey's wonderful acting in a time to kill is basically impossible . 
and baldwin is living proof of this , as no emotions could be felt . 
it seemed as if he actually had to struggle to shed a single tear . 
either poor acting or poor directing , but something definitely went wrong . 
another strange mishap was the fact that goldberg's facial features didn't change , as she looked the same in the courtroom as she did holding her husband's dead body 25-years earlier . 
yet woods' was plastered with enough make up to make him look like goldberg's father . 
at least the make-up was realistic . 
with some emotional moments in the poorly written script , ghosts of mississippi lacked in heart , when its predecessor , a time to kill , brought tears to everyone's eyes . 
don't get me wrong , the movie wasn't all that bad , but if you've seen grisham's masterpiece , then don't expect this one to be an excellent film . 
 , 
"
"1","towards the middle of "" the sweet hereafter , "" a crowded school bus skids on an icy road surface as it rounds a bend , careens through the steel guard rail , and disappears out of sight . 
then , in long shot , we see the vehicle slowly sliding across what looks like a snow-covered field . 
it pauses for a moment before the "" field "" cracks under the bus' weight and the bright yellow vehicle vanishes in an effortless moment , a single smooth second of time . 
compare that scene , if you will , to the last eighty minutes of "" titanic , "" when the behemoth sinks slowly and spectacularly to its watery demise , and you'll appreciate the futility of comparing greatness in films . 
the scene in "" the sweet hereafter "" epitomizes all that's right with independent canadian director atom egoyan's film . 
it's not sensational . 
we don't see the inside of the bus with its payload of screaming , terrified children being bloodied and battered about . 
the bus doesn't explode or break into a thousand tiny pieces . 
it simply leaves the road and silently slips beneath the surface of a frozen lake . 
it's a horrifying sequence made all the more so by calm and distance . 
using a non-linear approach to his narrative , egoyan shifts back and forward in time , connecting us with the inhabitants of the small british columbian town who have been severely affected by this tragedy . 
fourteen children died in the accident , leaving their parents and the town itself paralyzed with grief . 
the catalyst at the center of the film is ambulance chaser mitchell stephens ( a wonderfully moving performance by ian holm ) , who comes to sam dent to persuade the townsfolk to engage in a class action suit . 
stephens , who "" doesn't believe in accidents , "" functions as a concerned , involved observer , scribbling details in his notebook and providing the parents with an opportunity to reach some kind of closure in the harrowing aftermath . 
while stephens' initial drive may be financial ( one third of the total settlement if he wins ) , his involvement provides him more with an outlet to come to grips with his own loss . 
his self-destructive , drug-addicted daughter has been in and out of clinics , halfway houses and detox units for years . 
egoyan's attention to detail and ability to establish mood are so impeccable that even the sound of a kettle boiling resonates like a plaintive cry . 
mychael danna , who composed the shimmering music for "" the ice storm , "" contributes another memorable score that shivers and tingles . 
equally impressive is paul sarossy's cinematography , capturing the imposing canadian mountainsides and low-hanging fogs as splendidly as his shadowy interiors--in one scene a bright wall calendar serves to illuminate portions of a room . 
 "" the sweet hereafter , "" while undeniably grim , urges the viewer to grab onto life with both hands and not let go . 
it's a film of generous subtlety and emotion . 
"
"1","losing a job is not an all too uncommon thing . 
reacting to such a personal setback by taking a group of small children hostage is a bit more rare . 
while we all might feel the desire to blow someone's head off with a shotgun when they don't seem to grasp our point of view , actually threatening them with one is usually something we avoid . 
this isn't the case with sam baily - john travolta's slightly askew average-joe persona in mad city . 
 "" i don't think people listen to guys like me , "" sam laments during an exclusive interview from behind the walls of a museum . 
just a few days ago , sam was a guard at this same museum , but when cutbacks led to the elimination of his security position , sam's apprehension resulted in a brash decision . 
in an effort to get his ex-boss , museum director mrs . banks ( blythe danner ) , to "" just listen "" , he barges into the museum one day equipped with a fully loaded shotgun , taking the uncooperative banks and a group of school children hostage . 
sam's overall concern is valid enough - if he loses his job , his paycheck , his benefits , etc . , his wife and two children won't be provided for . 
he's not a lunatic or a hot-tempered madman , he's somewhat like a child - panicky , compulsive , and running on emotion - and his naive intentions aren't helped any by the fact that banks wasn't overly compassionate with the let go . 
overall , he's just like you and me - except that he has the capacity to view the line we'd deem "" far enough "" as the starting mark of some crazy race . 
meanwhile , television reporter max brackett ( dustin hoffman ) is also on the scene . 
covering a "" fluff "" story for the evening news concerning the museum cutbacks , max suddenly finds himself in the middle of the biggest-breaking news story he ever could've hoped for . 
having been demoted from network newsman to smalltime affiliate reporting , max is anxious to turn this into his , and only his , story . 
max immediately bonds with sam . 
max even coaches sam thru hostage negotiations and writes scripts for him to use with the police over the phone . 
at first , max's intentions don't stretch beyond high ratings and a good boost to the ole pride factor , but as he gets to know sam more personally , he begins to sympathize and even become somewhat of an advocate for him . 
the media , however , is creating a frenzy that leaves the fickle public shifting gears as often as a diesel truck moving downhill . 
the accidental shooting of ex-co- worker cliff ( bill nunn ) , a black security guard , becomes one of the main factors in the controversy over sam's honest ambitions . 
also involved in this film are robert prosky as lou potts , head of the news department of the station max falls directly under , and alan alda as the nationally famed reporter kevin hollander , who uses his network power to try and outshine max . 
alda and prosky both turn in fine performances that fit like gloves on their acting abilities . 
then there is mia kirshner , who plays the young tv station intern laurie . 
she falls under max's wings only to become a student taught too well in the way of sensationalistic reporting . 
kirshner's credits are relatively small for now , including roles in films like exotica and the forgettable sequel to the crow . 
still , kirshner's character transformation shows that she has shining ability to play both good girl and kinda-bitchy-in-a-reserved-way roles . 
i wouldn't mind seeing her in some more prevalent parts , where perhaps her talent will be able to blossom more fully onscreen . 
while the viewpoint of the media as a greedy , self-righteous monster has indeed been tackled before , mad city provides a solid two hours of enjoyability . 
hoffman and travolta are both excellent actors , and seeing them together is a real treat . 
they both do a great job at smoothly and naturally becoming their characters , and they provide enough chemistry for us to genuinely care for both . 
there is quite a bit of humor in this film , and without it , it could've fallen into a drab , cliched social statement more likely to garner sleep from the audience than applause . 
this isn't a flick that will grip at both your funny bone and your heart , but it will lightly touch both , making for a recommendable movie . 
if for nothing more than the opportunity to watch both hoffman and travolta at the same time , i urge you to check this one out . 
"
"1","as much as i wanted to like this film as i went into it , the more pleased i was when i left . 
first , getting through all the usual lines of newspaper glitz : "" if you liked scream , you'll love wild things ! "" 
 "" campbell gives a stunning performance ! "" 
 "" this twisty plot will have you dazzled for days ! "" 
 ( oh yeah , the day a newspaper uses these is the day neve campbell falls in love with me ) 
now , onto more serious stuff ( and with this film , i mean that in nearly a sarcastic way ) . 
wild things has single-handedly broken down the rules surrounding the r rating from the mpaa . 
i'm not saying that in a bad way , but when you see this film , you may be shocked by what you see . 
however , perhaps the mpaa was pleased by the film's charming cast and tricky plot , that they let the film slide with an r rating . 
being mormon , i'm bound to hear an uproar from religious zealots warning me not to see the film . 
trouble is , i have already seen it . 
and i like it ! 
wild things is a film noir of the 90s , filled with 40s sensibilities , and yet breaking the rules and modern-day taboos of 90s culture . 
the style in which it is filmed is rich in color . 
the actors are all gorgeous people , seemingly drawn from the same gene pool and placed into this film . 
sure , it's all too good to be true , but ain't it fun to watch ? 
when movies like this come along ( sort of a better version of basic instinct ) there is bound to be people who either love it or hate it . 
there will be people who don't want to admit liking what they see , but i tell you , most anyone who sees this will like it . 
wild things begins at blue bay high school , the one high school in the world that any teenager would love to get into . 
it's almost as if students are put through entrance exams just for admittance ( totally based on looks alone ) . 
of course , there are those select few who may look slightly ugly , but compared to the average person , they are gorgeous . 
immediately , the film finds its tone and the audience settles in for an enjoyable time . 
we can turn off our brains , right ? 
wrong . 
while you may be expecting one thing to happen , it certainly doesn't turn out that way . 
the film begins in a classroom , with nearly all the main characters present . 
there's sam lombardo ( matt dillon ) , a counselor for the students . 
he's heading the class discussion . 
there's also kelly van ryan ( denise richards ) , a snobby rich teen who has fallen in love with sam . 
teaching the class , however , are two policemen : ray duquette ( kevin bacon ) and gloria perez ( daphne rubin-vega ) , who want to talk about 'sex . . . 
 ( cheers ) crimes ( boos ) ' . 
 "" what is a sex crime ? "" 
ray asks . 
 "" not gettin' any ! "" 
one student responds . 
this pretty much sets the tone of the film we are about to watch . 
however , upon hearing this , one student , suzie toller ( neve campbell ) , stands up and leaves the room , commenting that they can both kiss part of her body . 
and so , wild things sets into motion . 
quickly , kelly begins hitting on sam , but sam doesn't want anything to do with her advances . 
kelly is stubborn and continues to pursue him . 
she even pleads with him to let her wash his jeep . 
surprisingly , that's really all i can tell you about the plot . 
any more would give away one of the many crucial plot twists . 
and what's more , these plot twists are actually unpredictable . 
going along the way of scream , wild things maintains that film's surprises , and then adds even more to them . 
there are more plot twists in this film than probably any i have ever seen . 
and even though you think you may get tired of them , the surprises are so genuine that it's rather pleasing . 
going back over them in my mind , nearly all of them work , though some stretch the boundaries of belief . 
thankfully , the convoluted plot doesn't give us much time to think about each one , pouncing yet another twist on us before the shock of the previous one has worn off . 
as for the critics who complain that the film is trashy--well , it is . 
this is pretty much just one trashy film . 
however , it is the kind of trashy that isn't hard to watch . 
it's good trash , in a sense . 
one , the screenplay knows that it's not to be taken seriously , and it includes a lot of humor and satire into the story . 
this varies everywhere from kelly's mother ( theresa russell ) , who is more of a caricature of rich people , all the way to an ambulance-chasing lawyer ( bill murray ) , who wears a neck-brace to cover an insurance scam he is running . 
bill murray also provides the best character in the film , and most of the genuine laughs . 
and two , the sex is more than gratuitous , although not unwelcomed . 
wild things is supposed to have sex in it ( what film with that title wouldn't ? ) , and this movie breaks the boundaries . 
instead of having heterosexual sex scenes , it also includes lesbian scenes between denise richards and neve campbell ( don't worry . . . 
it's not as graphic as you might think ) . 
the heterosexual scenes are quite graphic , but the surprise shocker is kevin bacon's full-frontal nude scene . 
it's very brief , so if you blink , you may miss ( ahem ) it . 
and , for as long as i can remember , i don't think i have seen an r-rated film show an erect one before ( it's not completely , but judging from the audiences' reaction , it was more than they expected too ) . 
also , during one scene late in the film , there seemed to be a relationship brewing between bacon and dillon's characters , but nothing came of it ( makes you wonder if the director had to cut it in order for the r rating , or if the actors refused to do it ) . 
what first made me want to see wild things was its cast . 
neve campbell , of course , has been one of my favorite actresses since the scream films were released . 
here , however , she turns every typical role she has done on its head and plays a gothic pothead . 
the closest role to this was her performance in the craft ( though even in that she was a nice girl ) . 
campbell is probably the best in the film and shows her wide range of talent . 
you can tell she will be around for a long time . 
denise richards will also be around for a long time , although she may be limited to the roles without much range . 
here , she gets to express more emotions than in her stiff ( yet effective ) performance in starship troopers . 
hopefully one day she will land a very good role that can display her ability . 
and then there is daphne rubin-vega , a newcomer to the movies . 
she gives a very good performance , although her character is mostly left to the background for the first hour and a half . 
towards the end she does get a bigger part . 
on the male side , matt dillon is probably the best , giving a subtle performance that surprises with every twist . 
kevin bacon has a slightly wooden character , but he makes the most of it . 
you must have admiration , though , for what he did on screen . 
and judging from many of the women's reactions in the theater to that shot , they have grown a deeper appreciation for bacon ( yeah , right ) . 
and then there is bill murray . 
his performance is the comic relief , and he nearly steals the film . 
as a whole , the entire cast works wondrously together , and they seem at home , even when doing the menage a troi . 
director john mcnaughton , who has previously done the critically acclaimed henry : portrait of a serial killer , has constructed a wonderfully twisty plot that works . 
his direction is smooth and stylish . 
the visuals are striking , filled with rich colors , and almost so realistic that we can actually breathe the humidity in the air . 
however , he seems more at home when the actors aren't talking . 
his fly-by shots of the swampy areas are brilliant , and his photography of denise richards' climbing out of the pool is a highlight . 
the cinematography is gorgeous in its details . its not often that you see a film like this , and we should watch it just to see how the camera can take pictures . 
then , there is the music . 
this was probably the most obvious thing to me , as it set the perfect mood for the film . 
it's hard to describe in words , so just see the film and listen to it . 
it's wonderfully composed and presented . 
and be sure to stick around during the closing credits ! 
mcnaughton has finally put the ending credits to good use ( while most comedies use it for outtakes ) . 
he has included some small scenes which help explain the preceding events . 
some may say that these are lame attempts to explain the convoluted plot , but it's an entertaining way to finish the film . 
plus , there are some shocking moments in these ending credits which just add to the fun . 
wild things is appropriately rated r for strong sexuality , nudity , language and violence . 
again , the nudity is rather unnecessary , but let's face it--people want to see it . 
so why not give it to them ? 
neve campbell , admirably , has a no-nudity clause in her contract , and the most you see of her is from behind as she takes her top off ( way to go , neve ! ) . 
the sex scenes are graphic , especially the first one we see , between the mother and one of her deck hands . 
one almost wonders how they got away with the r rating . 
the language is quite harsh too , ranging from sexual innuendo to your average , everyday profanity . 
and i can't stress it enough : don't allow kids under 18 to see this film . 
the target age for the movie is the 18-24 range , and that's who should see it . 
it's definitely not for those under 18 ! 
did i mention that this film is rated r ? however , for those that do get a chance to watch it , you will probably more likely be pleased , and may even take friends to see it the next time . 
"
"1","the postman delivers but not first class 
the postman a film review by michael redman copyright 1997 by michael redman 
[warning : my opinion of this film is definitely in the minority of reviewers perhaps because it hits so many of my cinematic buttons : post-apocalypse stories , hope in a desperate situation , grassroots uprisings and kevin costner . 
even worse , i thought that "" waterworld "" was watchable . 
read the following with those particular grains of salt . ] 
it's the year 2013 and things have fallen apart . 
due to a world war in the late nineties , the resulting three-year winter and a devastating plague , life in the former united states has been reduced to isolated primitive fiefdoms . 
although this is the future , it looks like a western . 
as the film opens , kevin costner ( his character's name is never revealed ) is wandering the utah wastelands with only his mule bill for company . 
giving extraordinarily bad shakespearean performances in exchange for food and lodging , costner is an outsider in a land of outsiders . 
running into even worse luck , he is forcibly conscripted into the racially pure holnist army of general bethlehem ( will patton ) . 
the rag-tag retro-futuristic cavalry is the descendent of militia groups and is even called the "" clan "" 
after a brutal boot camp , he ( and you can see this coming a mile away ) escapes . 
taking shelter in a wrecked postal truck , he liberates the uniform and mail bag from the skeleton in the cab who no longer has a use for either . 
once he reaches oregon , land of beautiful women , bright youngsters and rock and roll ; he pretends to be a representative from the "" restored congress of the united states of america "" . 
this scam gets him inside the walled towns where the promise of mail delivery renews optimism in the hearts of the inhabitants . 
food and other opportunities come his way in the form of spirited abby ( olivia williams ) who wants him to father a child because her husband is sterile . 
shortly her husband is killed by bethlehem and she and the postman ( as costner is referred to for the rest of the film ) become a reluctant item . 
although the postman knows he's running a fraud , the concept of renewed communications sets the kids' imagination afire ( especially ford lincoln mercury ( larenz tate ) , his second-in-command ) and they form a new pony express dedicated to getting the mail through . 
the revived postal service doubles as an army to fight the holnists' tyranny . 
the postman has become a symbol for hope in a rube goldberg manner . 
although the movie appeals to my sensibilities , there are so many things wrong with it that they can hardly be counted . 
it's derivitive of costner's own "" waterworld "" and clint eastwood westerns . 
there's little here that we haven't seen dozens of times before . 
the film is often down-right corny . 
a scene where the postman is on horseback and grabs a letter from the hands of a bright-eyed child is embarrassing in its slow-motion banality . 
the film's final few minutes should have been left on the cutting room floor . 
despite the film's excessive three hour length , several things are never explained . 
what was the war about ? 
how did civilization change so rapidly ? 
everyone has horses : where did all they come from ? 
the "" law of eights "" that bethlehem lives by seems to have its origins somewhere beyond the film , but where ? 
are we to believe that the rest of the world is in the same shape and hasn't made their way west to help or conquer ? 
there is some jumbled symbolism here that doesn't appear to make sense . 
the tale is obviously saying that communication can defeat evil in much the same way that the internet has the potential to topple governments , but beyond that there are some oddities . 
the evil army is called "" holnists "" which sounds coincidentally like the new age "" holism "" , but why ? 
is it another coincidence that it takes place in 2013 , just one year after many ancient prophesies ( including the ending of the mayan calendar ) predict a new world for mankind ? 
why is the general named "" bethlehem "" ? 
there seems to be some reason for that , but what ? 
sometimes the movie feels like a joke . 
an army of postal workers armed with guns ? 
considering the headlines of recent years , it takes a tremendous leap of faith to cheer for these guys . 
it's even more difficult to accept those re-powering the federal government as the heroes . 
given the current climate of the country and the distrust of big government , it's asking a lot for the audience to get behind the film's nationalism . 
even with its numerous flaws , the movie all comes together , if only for those who have the same weaknesses that i have . 
it's doubtful that "" the postman "" is going to find much of an audience , but a few of us are going to have a good time . 
besides we're all awaiting the fall of civilization caused by the year 2000 millennium computer bug . 
 ( michael redman has written this column for over 22 years and would like to announce that the "" michael redman "" arrested near indianapolis last week for accepting an illicit package from federal express is , to the best of his knowledge , not him . 
perhaps this similarly-named person should have used kevin costner's postal service . ) 
"
"1","there are certain people in the world who have some talent that very few people have , but they chose not to take advantage of this for some personal reason . 
 "" good will hunting "" is about one of those people . 
the will hunting of the ( horrible ) title ( let's face it , this film would be a bitch to title ) , played by co-writer matt damon , is a mathematical genius . 
he can do almost any mathematical connundrum in about the time it takes to brew a cup of irish cream cappuccino . 
and he works at mit . . . as the janitor . 
one day , the professor of one of the most challenging courses , proffessor lambeau ( "" breaking the waves "" 's stellan skarsg ? rd ) , puts a big problem on the board for his students to attempt to complete . 
the next day , it's already done on the board , but no one in his class claims to have done it . 
so lambeau puts another problem on the board , this time one that took he and his colleagues over two years to prove . 
and , duh , it's done again . 
of course , they catch the guy who did it red handed - will . 
before lambeau can find will again ( he ran away when he caught him ) , will has gotten into a fight with a bunch of punks on a basketball court , and struck a police officer , so lambeau gets him out on probation with two agreements : a ) he work with him on math , and b ) he get some therapy . 
after going through some therapists whom he psyches out in one way or another ( for a hypnotist , he fakes being under his spell , then launches into an impromptu performance of the 70s classic , "" afternoon delight "" ) . 
finally , lambeau's old college roomate , sean mcguire ( robin williams ) , a psych professor , agrees to treat him , and the two begin a rocky relationship , as sean tries to get will to open up . 
turns out will had a rough childhood , being abandoned , and placed in foster homes and what not . 
it also turns out that will does not want to do simple mathematics all his life ; he wants a challenge . 
and that is to hang out with his buds ( including the other co-writer , ben affleck ) , and do honorable jobs , like construction . 
is it right to make this genius follow in the footsteps of einstein and kasinsky ? 
should this guy be forced to do something he doesn't want to do ? 
this appears to be one of the million questions in this film , which is jam-packed with greatness , but does not have the totally brilliant whole it should . 
i'm not saying "" good will hunting "" is a bad film at all . 
it's a very enjoyable film with tons of great moments , and lots of great things about it . 
the acting is amazing , with two oscar-nomination-worthy performances from damon and williams , who have amazing chemistry together . 
we also get some great support from stellan skarsg ? rd ( great name ) , ben affleck , and from minnie driver , who plays will's love interest , skylar . 
there are tons of individual moments that i adored . 
i loved all the comedy in the film , especially a scene where damon proves a schmuck out of a college student who is quoting a historian to impress some chicks , his various attempts at therapy , and of course , my favorite scene in the entire film , the one where he delivers a long , exstensive rant to some nsa agents about the downside of working for them . 
i liked the relationship between some of the people , like will and skylar , will and sean , sean and lambeau , and will and his friends . 
there are scenes between them which are just amazing to watch . 
and there are even moments in the film which are so honest in their portrayal , that i felt rightfully uncomfortable . 
like the break-up scene between will and skylar , will and sean's first meeting , a bar scene between sean and lambeau , and a scene where sean tells in detail how he doesn't regret meeting his first wife , who would later suffer a slow , painful death , and leave him lonely and slightly bitter . 
however , the main flaw of the film is there's too much of everything , and not enough of it either . 
the film tries for deeper relations between the characters , but they're sometimes either overwritten or underwritten . 
take for example the relationship between sean and will : the film gets an interesting father/son as well as doctor/patient relationship going with out any problems , but when it tries to show them as equals , it falls on its face . 
we hear how they went to the same town , and there are even scenes where the film shows how hypocritical both of them are at times . 
but this never takes off like the other parts of their relationship do . 
also , will's relationship with his best friend , chuckie ( affleck ) , has a nice climax , but not enough rising action . 
we see them joking around , but when chuckie arrives at a decision between the two of them , it seems more like a superficial reasoning than a more selected one . 
their relationship never goes beyond "" just best friends , "" and his decision just seems to be a generalization of any two best friends instead of something more . . . human . 
maybe it was just me . 
and it also goes for a parallelism with the relationship between sean and lambeau , but that , again , is underwritten . 
and , of course , as in most films like this , the girl/boy relationship is pretty underwritten . 
we never understand what they see in each other , so when skylar confesses that she loves him , it seems more like it's there for plot details that anything else . 
minnie driver is interesting , though , and breathes life into her character . 
the writing is a bit at fault here , but what makes all this worthwhile is the little moments in the film where it acheives true awesomeness . 
sure , it feels overstuffed , but it's extremely enjoyable . 
the dialogue that affleck and damon have written is amazingly fresh , and seems extremely human . 
i think that they should get a nomination for their script chiefly because of the dialogue , which is amazing . 
while this is probably director gus van sant's most conservative film ( you'd hardly know it's the same director of "" to die for , "" the only van sant film i've seen , really ) , it's still a pretty remarkable film , albeit a tad overrated ( what's this "" best picture "" deal ? ) . 
and if a film puts a smile on my face despite posessing a lot of flaws , i have no problem with reccomending it to anyone . 
"
"1","i guess it's a credit to jackie chan and the general likeability of the franchise that rush hour 2 could not be ruined even by the nauseating "" comedy "" of chris tucker . 
i'm a fan of jackie chan in just about any medium , and this movie lets him not only do his impressive-as-ever martial arts schtick , but show off his comic timing as well . 
it would have worked better if he was the only name above the title . 
the plot is your basic martial arts flick clothesline for stunts and special effects . 
this time around , the evil smugglers are led by ricky tan ( john lone ) , who makes his fortune by shipping counterfeit money into the united states ( i'm still not sure how you can make a fortune doing that : is there a place where one can exchange fake bills for real ones ? ) . 
the only way to tell the phony money from the genuine article is to set it on fire and see what color it burns . 
of course , it's up to hong kong detective lee ( chan ) and trash-talking lapd detective james carter ( tucker ) to take the bad guys out and the authorities , to the extent that they even exist , stay out of their way . 
rush hour 2 turns the tables on the first film in that here it's carter who gets the two of them into trouble and lee who winds up having to get them out . 
i guarantee that my rating would have been at least a half of a grade higher had anyone other than chris tucker been cast as the foil for jackie chan . 
he refuses to shut up . 
not only did his voice feel like a jackhammer on my head , but his jokes just aren't funny , a pathetic mixture of sub-par eddie murphy fasttalking blather and wannabe chris rock white-man-black-man jokes that wind up being more offensive than funny . 
i realize that in a movie like this some of the biggest laughs come from letting the actors ad lib beyond what the script dictates , but didn't anyone realize how irritating tucker's incessant ranting and raving was ? 
if this is all the comedian has to offer then i don't care to see any more of his films . 
fortunately , chan makes for a marvelous straight man , and he redeems the fledgling comedy completely . 
it's not often that one actor can so completely save a movie , but there is no other name for what he does ; whenever he's on screen , rush hour 2 comes to nearly breathtaking , often hilarious , life . 
much of it hinges on the dubious value of how cute it is to watch chan try to be a "" player , "" but who cares ? 
i can think of few high concepts that are funnier . 
the movie ends with outtakes that , as usual , show that chan isn't perfect , and that it does , indeed , take him a few tries to get some of his incredible stunts to look seamless . 
chris tucker botches some lines as well , and his mistakes are funnier than anything he says in the whole movie . 
a lot of people have pointed out rush hour 2 isn't very different from its predecessor in tone or style . 
but i liked the original , and i like the sequel , though a certain sidekick seems to have done his best to ruin it . 
director brett ratner ( the family man ) keeps it moving at an entertaining pace and manages to keep the laughs coming despite the fairly miserable hit to miss ratio of the jokes ( i guess sometimes the shotgun approach works ) . 
it's not great jackie chan , but it's jackie chan , and that's enough . 
up next : jay and silent bob strike back 
"
"1","some critics , including siskel & ebert , are on the record stating that martin scorsese's raging bull , the story of boxer jake la motta , is the best film of the '80s . 
since there are still a number of '80s films that i haven't seen , i don't feel qualified to make such a judgment , but i'll say this without hesitation : raging bull is a great motion picture , and i would be surprised if more than a handful of films released between january 1 , 1980 and december 31 , 1989 come close to its level . 
bio-pics often fall into one of two categories : overblown hero- worship or a dry , dull textbook account . 
it's rare that a movie with the moniker "" based on the life of ? "" comes across as anything more than sporadically energetic and marginally entertaining . 
raging bull is the perfect counterexample , and a brilliant argument for film makers to continue to work in this genre . 
the picture takes the life of boxer jake la motta , a middleweight icon from the '40s and '50s , and develops one of the most compelling character studies ever to reach the big screen . 
for all 129 minutes , director martin scorsese and actor robert de niro ( in the title role ) have us mesmerized by this individual who is by turns sympathetic , sad , and horrifying . 
historically , raging bull is said to be mostly accurately , with the lion's share of the details culled from la motta's own autobiography ( which was co-written with joseph carter and peter savage ) . 
however , although la motta is credited as the movie's "" consultant , "" he was reportedly unhappy with the final result , because it portrays him as nothing short of an uncouth , insensitive lout . 
the la motta of the movie is a man of extreme appetites who is driven by base , bestial impulses ? paranoia , jealousy , and blind rage . 
sex and violence are inextricably linked . 
the title is apt ? la motta is a raging bull . 
in the ring , he is a terror , not just beating his opponents , but destroying them . 
outside of it , he is no less vicious or more easily controlled . 
the two people who spar with him on life's canvas are his wife , vicki ( cathy moriarty ) , and his brother/manager , joey ( joe pesci ) . 
these are the two who mean the most to jake , and who , as a result of his inability to trust himself or others , he loses . 
he beats vicki mercilessly because he suspects her of infidelity , and , when he inaccurately believes that his brother betrayed him , his lets loose with an explosion of violence . 
raging bull opens in 1941 when la motta , an up-and-coming fighter , is battling his way into the upper echelon of the middleweight class . 
over the years , he wins several key bouts , including one against his arch-rival , sugar ray robinson ( johnny barnes ) , but his unwillingness to capitulate with the local godfather keeps him from an opportunity to participate in a championship match . 
meanwhile , away from the ring , la motta falls in love with 15-year old vicki , who he marries after discarding his shrewish first wife . 
vicki becomes jake's greatest prize ( a wife , in his view , is not a companion , but a possession ) and the source of his most extreme pain . 
his own insecurity is so great that he cannot accept that a woman as beautiful as vicki could be faithful to him . 
hence , he is constantly haunted by a belief that she is sleeping with someone else ? perhaps even his brother . 
 ( this leads to the famous line parodied in waiting for guffman and elsewhere : "" are you f * * king my wife ? ? ? "" ) 
in the late '40s , la motta gets his first shot at a championship fight , but with one huge condition : he must take a fall . 
he does it so badly that an investigation is launched and he is almost thrown out of boxing . 
two years later , he wins the championship , only to lose it in a subsequent bout to sugar ray . 
by the late '50s and early '60s , when the film ends , jake has become a pathetic figure ? a broke , overweight loser who has spent time in jail for corrupting the morals of a minor , has lost his wife and children , and is trying to earn a few bucks by doing a cheap standup routine . 
raging bull is the other side of rocky . 
sylvester stallone's tale of boxing triumph was released to great critical acclaim in 1976 . 
it won the 1977 best picture oscar , and a sequel arrived in theaters before raging bull went into production . 
but , where rocky romanticizes boxing , raging bull takes a cold , unflinching look at the violence both inside and outside of the ring . 
while scorsese's primary aim is to present a riveting deconstruction of la motta the man , he never backs away from showing the seedy , ugly underside of a sport where gambling , greed , and organized crime force fighters to throw matches to continue working . 
rocky shows boxing at its noblest ; raging bull shows it at its most diseased . 
there's little i can say here that hasn't already said about de niro's performance . 
in a career that has included many fine roles , this is his most outstanding . 
the level of intensity de niro brings to la motta is unwavering . 
and , although there's a lot of travis bickle ( de niro's character in taxi driver ) in la motta , scorsese and de niro go to great lengths to make sure that , if we never fully sympathize with him , at least we understand the forces that drive him . 
this is a complete characterization and a perfect example of acting . 
as the younger jake , de niro is trim and fit . 
as the fat , older man , de niro gained 50 pounds and turned his body into a grotesque parody of its normal form . 
how many actors would go that far ? 
the best oscar statue is only one testimony to the lasting power of the performance . 
cathy moriarty and joe pesci both earned nominations for their supporting work ( although neither won ) . 
their portrayals have the same raw energy that infuses de niro's . 
pesci , who has basically re-created the same personality in two other scorsese films ( goodfellas and casino ) , presents joey as a slightly more intelligent version of his brother . 
the misogyny and violence are still there , only better concealed . 
but , when joey snaps , as he does in one scene where he pounds on a mobster ( frank vincent ) , it's startling to behold . 
moriarty , on the other hand , must play the temptress with virginal qualities ? the only kind of woman who would ensnare jake . 
later , she's called upon to portray the battered wife and mother whose love has turned into fear . 
scorsese and cinematographer michael chapman elected to shoot the bulk of raging bull in black-and-white ( a few "" home movie "" segments are in color ) . 
the choice is perfect for the movie , giving raging bull a unique look in an era when a black-and-white approach is almost unheard of . 
 ( one important recent exception , schindler's list , eschewed color for some of the same reasons that raging bull did . ) 
in black-and-white ( especially considering scorsese's choice of shots and use of slow motion ) , the violence is stark and disturbing . 
there's no room for romanticism in the ring with inky black blood staining the canvas . 
during fight sequences , the director also uses a number of point-of-view shots designed to show the world , however briefly , from la motta's perspective . 
scorsese could have chosen to end the film with la motta's loss to sugar ray , where he surrendered his middleweight crown . 
after that , his career was all downhill . 
yet the director allows the film to run for thirty minutes after this pivotal moment , stretching more than a decade into la motta's future . 
the reason is obvious : scorsese isn't as interested in boxing as he is in the character . 
following his retirement , la motta is still as violent and volatile as ever , but he has lost the arena in which he can legally unleash those tendencies . 
we see the results of this beast let loose on society and how the consequences of his actions reduce him to a parody of his former self . 
who cannot feel a surge of pity for la motta as he quietly recites marlon brando's speech from on the waterfront ? 
 ( "" i coulda been a contenda . "" ) 
perhaps raging bull is indeed the best film of the '80s . 
and , if not , it's certainly perilously close to the zenith . 
"
"1","much ballyhoo has been made over this new version of "" lolita , "" made in a time when one would think that a faithful adaptation of the infamous novel could be made , over its use of pedophilia , and as such , it's important to address it straight-forwardly , before any other ideals such as goodness and themes can be discussed , as this film has been in film limbo for a number of years , lying around in vaults san a distributor , and having critics waiting to either hail it a masterpiece or call it anticlimactic horseshit . 
when seeing this film , after all the hoopla , keeping in mind that there are people , namely me , who are fans of the novel , who have been eagerly awaiting this flick since its creation . . . well , 
you just have to wonder why no one really picked it up for distribution . 
what's even worse is that seeing this "" lolita , "" especially the first time and if you're familiar with anything "" lolita , "" is admittingly very anticlimactic . 
this is a real pity because when you really sit down to watch this film , ignoring all the crap that has preceeded it , it's really quite a film , perhaps the best film by director adrian lyne ( although , really , look at its competition : "" flashdance , "" "" fatal attraction , "" and "" indecent proposal "" ) , at least besides "" jacob's ladder . "" 
i've seen this "" lolita "" twice : the first time , i wasn't so blown away . 
it seemed overly dramatic and surprisingly unaffecting . 
the second time , not really thinking about how i've waited for what seems like forever to see it and how i'm seeing it on a tv set on a premium cable channel and not a giant movie theatre , it really affected me emotionally . 
the story itself is a surprisingly heartbreaking one , which is why it's such a good novel , and why this is such a good film . 
the story of a pedophile obsessed with a young 14-year old girl named dolores a . k . a . lolita is great because it's not trash for the perverted but because it's about human obsession with things that are out of one's reach . 
its protagonist , the comically-named humbert humbert , is not your average pedophile , but a seriously wounded human being who embodies how we are all destroyed by our sick obsessions and idosyncrasies . 
the character of lolita is almost a symbol of the forbidden apple in christian mythology , something that will destroy us but that we can't live without . 
these ideas are all worked into this film nicely , but done in a way that is not heavy-handed at all , but instead lyrical and emotionally devastating . 
the focus of this film , and the reason for making it , it seems , was to really penetrate the emotional depths of the novel and bring them to life on the screen in beautifully dramatic images , and scenes which are blatantly over-stylized . 
the tone of the book is a comical one , but it's also a tragic one , and humbert , telling the story from his perspective , blows every single thing out of perspective . 
humbert exists in a fantsy world of his obsessions and desires , and this reflects the way the entire film has been designed . 
we get a sense that perhaps it's by doing this that humbert has really trapped himself into a fate that will ultimately leave him haggard and destroyed . 
he weeps uncontrollably and never lets himself get over his original 14-year-old love , and allows himself to embody her as lolita . 
he lets his feelings for her navigate all his decisions , and by the end , he has nothing but overly-dramatic feelings for her . 
the story recognizes the extreme of this , almost out of a test , seeing if the readers will really sympathize with someone who is socially deemed a pervert , and one almost wonders while reading the book if the author , vladimir nabokov , wrote the book as a means to bring into focus his own sick obsessions , and perhaps bring them to peace . 
the weirdest thing about this film is that by the end , when humbert has reached the finale of his obsessional journey , we can easily sympathize and even identify with him . 
the opening and final images of the film are the same , and who hasn't done a similar action , that is wandering about without any sense of reality or anything else but a deep sadness in us ? 
this is the second time the novel has been adapted for the screen , the first time being filmed in - shock - 1962 , by stanley kubrick , who couldn't possibly have brought the novel to the screen with as much faithfulness as lyne has been able to do , but did the next best thing : he economized for everything and came up with a droll black comedy about obsession in general . 
in that film , he used the traps of society as benefits . 
the studio demanded the final scene , that of a heinous murder , come first in the film so to portray humbert first as a murderer and second as a pedophile . . . and 
when you see it , it gives the film depth of a man trapped by obsession . 
the censors wouldn't allow anymore than a couple glances and subtle dialogue to show the , um , relationship between humbert and lolita , so kubrick decided to play it as comedy , but still allow the tragedy to seep through . 
looking at these two versions , especially after reading the novel ( and we all know that when we've read a novel and see a film adaptation , we are bound to be angered by any size differences ) , it's really impossible to compare them . 
they both go for different things , and one has a lot more room to be as sexually frank as the novel was . 
and although it's true that several scenes are similar , and are thus up for comparison , overall it's unfair to say which one is better and which one is worse . 
i have never been one for saying the level of greatness of a film adaptation of a novel is deemed by how faithful it is , and i won't say that here . 
however , this film is pretty amazing , mostly because hey , i loved the book , and this film nearly reminded me of it . 
it doesn't have nearly as much wit ( a couple comical scenes , and even a lot of good chuckles , but just not totally witty ) , but it does have the same emotional toll that the novel had . 
some of that is in the casting of the two leads . 
jeremy irons , with his deep , soft british voice and gentle look , is an amazing humbert . 
he's droll in a very unique way , and , well , no one can look distraught the way he does . 
he brings a wonderful sympathy to the role that goes beyond pathos and really comes up as being easy to identify with the audience . 
and when he looks at lolita with love , and she looks at him with lust , you know that he's her prisoner for as long as he lives . 
and dominique swain , who plays the title character , is rather incredible . 
she pulls off the tough role even better than sue lyon did in the original , wonderfully balancing the qualities of seduction , bratiness , and self-centeredness that marks the character . 
it's easy to see why she surrenders to humbert : she loves the attention , and knows that she can have her way with him at any time . 
when he denies her something , she blackmails him effortlessly ( a scene involving a rocking chair and a little foot action is damn near classic ) , and when he stands up to her , she weeps and runs away , leaving humbert to follow her . 
there are two other minor characters in the film , one who's a road block in the beginning , and the other who's a reappearing threat to the relationship . 
the former is charlotte , lolita's mother , played by melanie griffith . 
in the book , charlotte is a monster of a woman : overbearing , constantly scolding her child , overly-religious , and ultimately selfish . 
and she's the one obstacle humbert has to overcome to obtain his goal , at least in the beginning . 
as played by shelly winters in the original , she represented all these qualities ; as played by griffith here , she's about half of them . 
it's annoying to watch a film and play a game where you try to see who could have done the role way better than the one on screen without mentioning the actor who played them first . 
and even though griffith is not really bad , persay , she's nothing more . 
the other is clare quilty , the writer who is also trying to seduce lolita , and succeeds , but at a price . 
langella takes a totally different direction than the one peter sellars took in the original . 
quilty was a comic character in the original : a threat in the form of many forms , popping in states of rambling , german , proning , and eventually drunk . 
langella takes the other route , allowing all of the creepiness to be unearthed , and the result is a character who exists in shadows and low shots , and who meets a wonderfully ironic ending , the exact opposite of what we thought of him . 
as you can see , most of these are not improvements or mistakes done on the part of lyne and his screenwriter , stephen schiff , but just parts of a whole new look at the novel , at least cinema-wise . 
this version is beautiful , and perpetually saddening . 
the camera movements are stylized , and each shot is breathtakingly rich . 
the acting is for the most part wonderful , and when we watch it , we really get a sense that for humbert , who is telling the story , the only two people on earth most of the time were humbert and lolita . 
more importantly , it takes us right up the brink of emotion , then jumps right over it . 
by the end , with humbert sadly driving recklessly in his car , following what he says is the only part of his life he doesn't regret , we feel that we all lose to something we can never have . 
"
"1","capsule : side-splitting comedy that follows its own merciless logic almost through to the end . . . 
but not without providing a good deal of genuine laughs . 
most comedies these days have one flaw . 
they're not funny . 
they think they're funny , but they are devoid of anything really penetrating or dastardly . 
occasionally a good funny movie sneaks past the deadening hollywood preconceptions of humor and we get a real gem : ruthless people , for instance , which established a microcosm of a setup and played it out to the bitter end . 
liar liar is built the same way and is just about as funny . 
this is one of the few movies i've seen where i was laughing consistently almost all the way through : instead of a couple of set-pieces that inspired a laugh ( think of the dismal fatal instinct ) , the whole movie works like clockwork . 
jim carrey playes a high-powered lawyer , to whom lying is as natural as breathing . 
there is one thing he takes seriously , though : his son , and we can sense the affection that they have for each other right away . 
but his wife is divorced and seeing another man , and now it looks like they may move away together . 
the son goes with them , of course . 
the movie sets up this early material with good timing and a remarkable balance of jim carrey's over-the-top persona with reality . 
then the plot springs into action : after being snubbed ( not deliberately ) by his father at his birthday , the kid makes a wish as he blows out the birthday candles : that for just one day , dad can't lie . 
he gets the wish . 
what happens next is sidesplitting . 
everything turns into a confrontation : when cornered by a bum for some change , he shouts , "" no ! 
i'm not giving you any money because i know you'll spend it on booze ! 
all i want to do is to get to the office without having to step over the debris of our decaying society ! "" 
he can't even get into an elevator without earning a black eye . 
and what's worse , he's now gotten himself into an expensive divorce settlement that requires him to twist the truth like abstract wire sculpture . 
carrey , who i used to find unfunny , has gotten better at his schtick , even if it's a limited one . 
he uses it to great effect in this movie . 
there is a scene where he tries to test his ability to lie and nearly demolishes his office in the process ( there's a grin breaking out across my face right now , just remembering the scene ) . 
he can't even write the lie ; his fingers twitch , his body buckles like someone in the throes of cyanide poisoning , and when he tries to talk it's like he's speaking in tongues . 
equally funny is a scene where he beats himself to a pulp ( don't ask why ) , tries to drink water to keep from having outbursts in the courtroom ( it fails , with semi-predictable results ) , and winds up biting the bullet when he gets called into the boardroom to have everyone ask what they think of them . 
this scene alone may force people to stop the tape for minutes on end . 
the movie sustains its laughs and also its flashes of insight until almost the end . 
a shame , too , because the movie insists on having a big , ridiculous climax that involves carrey's character flagging down a plane using a set of motorized stairs , then breaking his leg , etc . a simple reconciliation would do the trick . 
why is this stupid pent-up climax always obligatory ? 
it's not even part of the movie's real agenda . 
thankfully , liar liar survives it , and so does carrey . 
maybe they were being merciful , on reflection . 
if i'd laughed any more , i might have needed an iron lung . 
"
"1","maybe the most important thing about this movie is that it's not handled like the hallmark hall of fame movie of the month , because it very well could have been a manipulative tearjerker , broadcasted on abc on a monday night , starring kelly martin and yasmeen bleeth , respectively . 
because it's not handled like the greatest story ever told is precisely why it's so great . 
underneath the to-die-for cinematography , the brilliant acting , and incessantly wonderful direction is a film of modesty , not sure whether or not this story is totally great but with the balls to run with it , tell it in a certain original way . 
it doesn't merely go from plot point to plot point . 
it goes from character to character . 
it obsesses itself with the depth and the style of it all , and makes the story of a world-reknowned cellist who contracts ms and dies prematurely into the story of two sisters , both musicians , who have a totally unique relationship . 
it's that their relationship is the center of the story that makes this film transcend any cornball , shamelessly tired tearjerker qualities it could have had and makes this , unlike "" patch adams , "" effortlessly emotional and real . 
in short , this movie is just awesome . 
it merely tells its story really well , and that's something that just has to be commended these days , when most stories are botched because they're not told by great storytellers . 
director anand tucker tells this story well . 
he overdramaticizes everything , but still keeps it real . 
the film tells the story of hilary and jacqueline du pr ? ( rachel griffiths and emily watson , respectively ) , two sisters who are first seen in childhood ( played by auriol evans and keely flanders , respectively ) as the very best of friends . 
they are also both musicians , hilary a flutist and jackie a cellist , and when it all begins , both are considered child prodigies , but hilary is seen as the better of the two . 
jackie , a bit jealous , works and works at her playing skills , and soon the tables are turned . 
when they both hit adulthood , hilary strives for a comeback , while her sister is playing in famous halls around the world , but instead of fame , captures the heart of a hapless , joyful conductor , kiffer finzi ( david morissey , in a semi-star-making turn ) . 
they marry , after a short courtship , and move to a lovely country house , making jackie incredibly jealous since her cello playing becomes a symbol of her current life : when she plays , she has the eyes of the world , but when she stops , she's alone . 
she enters into a shallow relationship with an equally famous pianist , daniel barenboim ( james frain ) , in hopes that she may overcloud her sister , but she eventually begins to lose it , and runs away to hilary's country home , where she hopes to gain admittance by hilary to sleep with her husband , since no one she sleeps with gives her any pleasure . 
it's all terribly melodramtic , as you can see , and by the time jackie has contracted ms ( in a brilliantly edited scene that surpasses the breakdown scene in the semi-smiliar "" shine "" in technical and emotional devastation ) , it would have been the time that i could easily call the sign for melodramatic overload if it hadn't been handled in such a way . 
the key thing here is that it's not about her gradual death and slip into insanity but rather that it's about her tumultuous relationship with her sister , which , i might add , is perfectly realized . 
their relationship is the most down-to-earth complex entity of the year : they love eachother more than anyone else in the entire world , but they're also completely jealous of one another . 
when a young jackie surpasses her playing abilities , she tries in vain to make a comeback but can't , and almost seems to marry to get back at jackie for her success . 
when jackie lands on top and sees her sister marry a wonderful man , she is jealous of her lifestyle to the most extensive brinks that i've ever seen in a film ( only two sisters who truly love eachother would dare share the same man ) . 
and the whole time , their love for eachother is never doubted or even tested . 
another thing i really liked is emily watson's performance . 
i usually make it a note to never overpraise an actor for playing either a drunkard or a lunatic or someone with a mortal disease ( or any combination of the three ) . 
my reasoning for this is that it's a fucking easy job . 
the worst case for this very year may be thandie newton in "" beloved "" : sure , she's good , but what's so tough about playing a woman who stumbles around , slurs her words together , and acts like a three year old inside a 20-year old's body ? 
hell , i could play that if i had a pair of breasts . 
in that same exact movie , though , is a performance by kimberly elise where she has to be the rock that holds the family together as her mother slowly goes insane , her brothers run off never to be seen again , and her mother's lover is scared off . 
she has to actually deal with real emotions , something much harder than mere stumbling about . 
but the academy of arts and sciences loves loves loves overpraising performances like newtons . 
if you don't believe me , look at jack nicholson's performance in "" as good as it gets "" : great performance , but easy job . 
this isn't so for watson , though , because her insanity comes from real emotions , not just a plot point . 
and thanks to the opening sequence , where we see her and hilary as kids , we understand the motives behind all her actions , and by the time she actually contracts ms and begins to loose her sanity and her life , we've already understood that this is the last straw for a woman plagued with terrible neuroses . 
rachel griffiths , who would have otherwise been the understudy to watson's protagonist , actually matches watson step-for-step , because as watson grows insane , and demands unspeakable things from her , griffiths holds her own , and has to deal with what she is able to give her sister who needs emotional help from her . 
griffiths , an otherwise unknown actress ( and watson being famous from "" breaking the waves "" and "" the boxer "" ) , is absolutely brilliant , just as absolutely brilliant as watson is , and if the academy and all the other critics groups , who've already deemed watson's performance the best of the year , glance over hers because she's the one who doesn't get to go insane ( read : she gets the boring role ) , then the scream of hysteria you hear will be from me . 
after all , griffiths has the thankless job of keeping things real - the tom cruise role in "" rainman "" ( the one who should have gotten oscar consideration and not hoffman ) . 
she does , and if anyone deserves accolades from the academy this year , it's griffiths . 
together , the two actresses work extremely well , though , and both have to go through deep emotional hell , the likes of which haven't been seen this year . 
if it hadn't been for an otherwise not-totally-great final section that deals way too much with jackie and not enough with hilary ( when the two had gotten equal treatment for the entirety ) , i'd say this is one of the top ten best films of the year . 
it's so close to perfection , in its structure , its treatment of its subject , and its beautiful technical specifications ( cinematography nomination , without a shred of doubt in my mind , and maybe film editing ) , that it's nearly a shame that it's not the flawless gem that it should be . 
but , hey , as it is , i can hardly complain . 
"
"1","as i write the review for the new hanks/ryan romantic comedy you've got mail , i am acutely aware that i am typing it on a computer and sending it a billion miles away on the internet . 
i am also aware that i have just spent the last 2 hours watching the world's biggest paid commercial for america online . 
and i wonder : is that so bad ? 
well , the commercial part is . 
as for the movie , well , as long as i can watch tom hanks and meg ryan , i think i'll be okay . 
to paraphrase james berardinelli , whose reviews i admire very much , tom hanks and meg ryan can act . 
they are both wonderful , but for all of hanks' glorious work in serious films , such as his magnificent performance in saving private ryan , and his glorious triumph in philadelphia , i like him best when he's suitably obnoxious . 
tom hanks is wonderful when he is obnoxious in a romantic comedy when he's going to get the girl : the only question is how ? 
meg ryan , america's high school sweetheart , can act . 
she's had a handful of memorable performances , including the great scene in the diner in when harry met sally ( i must not mention what she does , due to the , well , um , you get the idea , and if you don't , get the movie-- fantastic ) . 
but , i like her best when she's , well , perky . 
she is so adorably perky/cute that together with hanks , they are the most amazing onscreen duo in my short lifetime . 
some people have them going back to really old classic romantic couples , but i don't really know . 
all i know is that i just like them both . 
they have such wonderfully kinetic chemistry that's really hard to resist , and i'm not going to even try . 
they're just really , really cute , sweet , and charming . 
hanks and ryan collaborate once again with nora ephron , who directed them in the megahit sleepless in seattle . 
here , the setup is a little different . 
kathleen kelly ( ryan ) owns a small children's bookstore which her mother founded 42 years ago and passed down to her . 
she is successful , beautiful , and dates a well-known columnist with very radical idea ( kinnear ) . 
she is also having an affair , of sorts . 
you see , kathleen , with the handle shopgirl , is secretly emailing ny152 . 
they have a strictly un-detailed relationship : there are no specifics , and they have no idea who each other is . 
ny152 happens to be joe fox ( hanks ) , a multimillionaire bookseller who is the heir to the fortune of the fox chain of mega-bookstores , run by his father ( coleman ) . 
fox books has decided to open a store on the west side , right across from a little children's bookseller named "" shop around the corner "" , run by a perky girl named kathleen kelly . 
every morning , these two email each other silly , and every day , they fight "" to the death ! ! "" . 
it's a charming premise , and one that works nicely , balancing the immense troubles kathleen is in with the romance she wants to have . 
it also has the great sense of being a classic romance : there is no "" let's have sex tonight "" mantra , if you'll excuse my bluntness . 
this is a solid romance built around that vague concept of love . 
hmm . well , the movie goes through twists and turns , having some sad moments and happy ones , until at one moment tom hanks and meg ryan "" hook up "" , to use modern terminology , and kiss their way into happiness . 
you know it's going to happen , the question is now ? 
thankfully , ephron has a wonderful supporting cast with posey , kinnear , chappelle , and a host of others , including a great scene involving brothers , aunts , and two sweet kids . 
it's all cute and wonderful , and for all of the idealism , it makes me feel good . 
hanks is as obnoxious as ever on the outside and as warm on the inside as he always is . 
he is , i believe , america's greatest actor . 
does he show it here ? 
nah . 
but he's still tom hanks , and she's still meg ryan . 
which is what this movie boils down to . 
it's pure confection . 
all the bits about the godfather , the jokes , the superb script , it's all really sweet . 
there are some immense flaws , like pacing . 
the last third of the movie really doesn't work as well as i would have liked , and for a romantic comedy , it's slow . 
once hanks knows the secret , it gets really slow . 
i even looked at my watch a couple times , to make sure ephron was going to deliver the big onscreen kiss i was waiting for , so that i could get home at a reasonable hour . 
the other problem is that this movie is shaping up to be really dated . 
e-mail ? 
when my kids are my age , i don't know what we'll be using . 
but hanks can do more with one eyeroll than anybody , and meg ryan just loves to dive into a pillow better than anyone in movie history . 
they just work together , and it's nice to see . 
it gives you , well , a smile . 
the script helps with some great lines that are absolutely hilarious , and that always come at the exact right time to keep the audience awake . 
i was arguing with my father on the drive back home on what the purpose of movies was . 
i've always believed that movies are very powerful , very powerful indeed . 
you see , mankind has three abilities he needs to survive : the ability to think , entertain , and procreate . 
movies can definitely do the first two , and as for the third , well , i'd rather not think about that . 
i always thought films that made you think enlightened you and made you see something from another viewpoint , and that films that entertained you were good , because you forgot about your troubles and thought about something nice for a night . 
and i was thinking about how incredible a year tom hanks has had . 
hanks was the driving force behind one of the year's best films in saving private ryan , which is one of those thinking films that truly made someone wonder about the world . 
he's also half of the glue behind the year's best example of pure entertainment . 
tom hanks and meg ryan are magical , as is this movie . 
it's a sweet , lovely affair with a technology twist . 
it may be a long commercial , but it gave me a pretty big smile on my face . 
"
"1","are we victims of fate in life or can we create our own destiny ? 
director/writer brad anderson seems to be saying yes to both questions in his witty film "" next stop wonderland "" . 
the two main characters , alan and erin , spend the entire movie in each other's orbit , catching glimpses of one another , yet not quite connecting until the inevitable conclusion . 
is it fate that keeps them near each other and ultimately puts them together ? 
does this predestination carry over to all aspects of life ? 
as the film starts , erin castleton ( hope davis ) , a melancholy 29- year old late shift nurse , is ending her live-in relationship with her boyfriend ( hoffman ) . 
rather , he is ending it with her . 
arriving home from work , erin finds her boyfriend parked in front of their apartment , car packed with his belongings . 
in a fumbling , amusing and self deluding ramble , he instructs erin to watch a videotape he's made detailing why their relationship is doomed to fail and why he's leaving . 
it's obvious he lacks the courage to confront her directly as he rails on about accomplishing something with his life and taking a stand , all the while backpedaling his way out of their relationship . 
he then flees the scene with the grace of an inept thief . 
erin's mother ( holland taylor , in a surprisingly effective , small role ) , fearing that her daughter will be without a man in her life , takes out a personal ad for erin . 
to erin's embarrassed horror , the ad describes her as a "" frisky , cultured , carefree professional with a zest for life "" . 
eventually , erin responds to the tidal wave of responses , which makes for some of the most humorous , telling moments of the movie as she meets prospective suitors and "" poseurs "" . 
alan , a plumber and aspiring marine biologist , first spots erin as he's cleaning the inside glass of a fish tank at the boston aquarium . 
wearing a wet suit and goggles , he follows erin from window to window , separated by the glass as erin , oblivious to his gaze , enjoys the fish . 
later , we see him on a train as she sits on a platform outside , mere feet away . 
the movie spends it's entirety having their paths circle each other without crossing . 
there are several subplots involving alan . 
one concerns his attempts to get on the job track at the boston aquarium , thereby escaping his apparent fate to carry on the family plumbing business . 
another subplot involves his father's desperate attempts to force fate's hand by gambling away his life at the dog track . 
a distracting focus is put on alan's debt to a loan shark and the manner in which he pays it off . 
the movie tries too hard to make alan a likable guy . 
thankfully , his dream- guy persona is counterbalanced by erin's distant , yet fundamentally hopeful , personality . 
the film moves along at an unhurried pace , albeit too much so in the latter third , as we wait for the two to meet . 
co-writers anderson and lyn vaus throw a couple of possible red herrings into the mix as the two find other possible relationships . 
the films shifts into a much slower gear as we wait for these romances to blow over . 
when alan and erin eventually do meet , we see that perhaps they both were destined for each other as they share a lingering , almost subliminally knowing , gaze . 
it's a sweet , measured moment . 
the disappointment comes in the fact that we've come to know the pair , yet we don't get to view their impending romance . 
the film's inherent belief in the subtle persistence of fate and the wonder it can bring to one's life makes "" next stop wonderland "" a quiet pleasure in a cinematic landscape littered with explosions , shallow characters and overdone special effects . 
"
"1","i'm an avid fan of the "" alien "" saga , so this review is obviously a tad biased ( at least i admitted it ) . 
of course , that doesn't mean that i'm gonna be giving this a four-star review or something , because "" alien : resurrection , "" the fourth film in the cool-as-hell series is not an absolutely amazing film , much like the first two were . 
however , it's a very good film which never fails to entertain , and consists of yet another mutation in the style of the series . 
in short , i had a good time . 
 "" alien : resurrection "" leaves off 200 years after the last one , where our heroine protagonist , ellen ripley ( sigourney weaver ) , the science fiction genre's answer to job , had killed herself after discovering that an alien was inside her body , waiting to pop out like it did to john hurt in the first one . 
of course , the last one wasn't very great or anything ( i liked it , though not as much as the first two ) , and more importantly , it wasn't financially successful ( a tawdry 55 million bucks ! ) . 
so back we are , with ripley back as a clone , which means we get another little satirical look at cloning ( not that that's a bad thing , but it's becoming a cliche ) . 
so she's cloned aboard an even more futuristic-looking ship called "" the auriga "" by some doctors ( including the necessary bad government guy , dr . wren , played by j . e . freeman , as well as the little-seen dr . gediman , played by none other than brad douriff ) , mainly because they have a version of her with the alien still inside her . 
once you get past the fact that you can't figure out where they got her blood ( although i think it might have been from the blood samples taken by charles dance in the third one ) , the film's okay . 
also on board are a band of mercenary pirates , including michael wincott , ron perlman , kim flowers , raymond cruz , dominique pinon ( a jeunet sytable ) and . . . winona ryder , who plays analee call , who turns out to have a bit of a secret ( i won't state it , but unless you've been shacking up with salinger for the past two years , you probably know all about it - although it's nicely covered up ) . 
there's a bit of a non-sexual-yet-slightly-homoerotic relationship between her and ripley , but it's never really deepened enough . 
oh well . 
well , as you might have guessed , the alien and its spawn escape and run around the ship . 
and it pretty much does away with most of the people on the ship ( including some shocks - dan hedaya , for instance , who's death is comical yet sad since , well , he's dan hedaya ) , and the remaining people ( about 7 or 8 ) are left to try and escape and stop the aliens from doing any major harm since the ship is heading quickly towards earth . 
of course , the plot is all balderdash , and just an excuse for some good old "" alien "" -brand fun . 
the real focus of the series seems to be on style , not really substance ( although there's always a bit of it , most notably in "" aliens "" with the relationship between ripley and the little girl ) . 
what's interesting about the series is that each film is stylistically different in its approach . 
 "" alien "" is a claustrophobic exercise in quiet frights . 
 "" aliens "" is a wild , tense thriller . 
 "" alien 3 "" is a bleak , moody piece of semi-noir . 
 "" alien 4 "" is kind of like an off-beat french film , filled with lots of humor , and cool scares . 
jean-pierre jeunet ( without his usual directing partner , marc caro ) creates a ship filled with the kind of scares films like "" das boot "" has , with echoes hinting at a possible threat . 
the chills in the film are really cool , especially with the music , which is sometimes turned down completely for certain scenes ( there's the most tense surgery scene since "" face/off "" towards the beginning ) . 
and not every chill turns into a bloody mess or anything like that . 
this all combined with some good old humor makes this as interesting visually and stylistically as the others . 
there are even a couple scenes which just stick out afterwards as being brilliantly executed . 
one is the aforementioned surgery scene . 
another one takes place between call and ripley , which is just awesome . 
the underwater chase scene and the ladder scene afterwards is one of the most tense , thrilling , and jaw-dropping scenes in the entire saga ( with a small allusion to jeunet's earlier film , "" delicatessen "" ) . 
and the way they do in the final alien is hysterically cool ( with a lovely allusion to "" goldfinger "" ) . 
but the best scene in the entire film ( i'm sure i'm not the first to mention it ) takes place when ripley sees all the variations on her as they cloned her ( she has a an "" 8 "" tatooed on her arm ) . 
it might be the most emotionally stimulating scene in the entire saga . 
the screenplay by joss whedon is not a great piece of work , as it never really deapens a lot of the characters . 
however , it does make us care about most of them , so that when there's very little of them , and it looks like one or more of them may become alien chow , we are pretty scared . 
and , yeah , there are some very funny lines ( ripley : "" who do i have to fuck to get off this boat ? ! "" 
johner : "" well , i can get you off . 
but not this ship . "" ) 
the acting is good all around , with stand-out performances from ron perlman as the male chauvenist pig johner , and leland orser ( the poor bastad in "" se7en "" who performed the "" lust "" sin ) as an anxiety-ridden wannabe woody allen who has an alien inside him . 
winona ryder is good , but not amazing like she usually is ( although she meshes well with the film ) . 
of course , and as usual , sigourney weaver steals the show . 
playing a variation on the ripley character ( less emotional , and more rude and bitter ) , she pulls it off while still being utterly lovable . 
she's not going to get an oscar nomination like she did for "" aliens , "" but she's just awesome . 
overall , it's a thrilling , entertaining film which doesn't really amaze like the first two , but is much more amazing than the third installment . 
the style is the best part of the film , which isn't really a bad thing , but it being the best part takes away from a lot of the depth the film occasionally tries to apply . 
but it's entertaining as hell , and it's definitely fit for the "" alien "" series . 
"
"1","it may seem weird to begin a film about glam rock with a sequence that includes a spaceship , a green ovular pin , and the birth of oscar wilde , but if one really strains , they can see that perhaps maybe these connections are not half off . 
wilde's philosophy was that everyone should be true to their own human nature , and the result of his following this philosophy was that he was imprisoned , loosing his family and his career . 
the glam rock movement in the early 70s in england had a similar take and came to a similar demise . 
the main difference was by placing makeup on their face and acting out on their deepest fantasies and inquiries about life ( mostly dealing with androgony and sexuality ) , they became less and less like themselves and more and more like everyone else . 
and that's why the movement seemed to end as soon as it began . 
it's been said that todd haynes' "" velvet goldmine , "" the film that chronicles what it was like to be a part of the movement , not only from those who experienced it but by those who created it , steals a lot from "" citizen kane , "" and that's true . 
in the film , a british journalist in the 80s , arthur stuart ( christian bale ) , is asked to go back and find out what happened to 70s glam rock star brian slade , a fictitious rock star , who faked his own death on stage , bringing the end not only to his career but to the entire glam rock movement . 
structure-wise , this totally steals from "" kane , "" not only from the set-up ( he interviews three people , and the story is a result of their flashbacks ) , but in other things , like the beginning ( death , then newsreel ) , and smaller details , like the bitter ex-friend in a wheelchair and the bitter ex-wife as a washed-up lounge singer , found in a bar after hours . 
this is no "" kane , "" and it really doesn't aspire to be : it doesn't attempt to be the deep outlook of something gone like "" kane "" did , and it doesn't really uncover anything poignant about humanity . 
instead , it uses the flashbacks as a form of contrast between the magic that was the glam rock era and the boredom that was life after glam rock for those who were participants . 
the 80s scenes are dry and deliriously melancholy , equipped with a performance by bale that is perhaps appropriately dull and unengaging . 
but the 70s scenes are engaging , though , not to mention addictively campy . 
they radiate with gorgeous cinematography that nicely accentuates all the vibrant colors of the era , and a feel that's so eerily lighthearted that when combined with the then-footage , they become not only a symbol of decadence , but of times when everything seemed so simple . 
instead of creating the world the way it was , haynes paints their own world as if it were a narcotic fairy tale : the glam rock movement was full of so much freedom and liberation that after you've experienced it , everything else seems so mundane . 
there's no outside world to speak of , secluding these people inside a protective globe that will eventually crack . 
haynes focuses his story on the tale of blade and the other fictitious rock hero , curt wild , and their relationship that created , molded , and then brought down the movement , reducing everyone else who contributed to it as merely that - contributors . 
blade - played with reserve by the pouty jonathan rhys meyers - and wild - played with anarchic wildness by ewan mcgregor - are little more than thinly disguised recreations of david bowie and iggy pop , respectively , complete with the creation of a ziggy stardust persona named maxwell demon and the confirmation that the two rock stars may have very well not only have been one-time partners in music , but also partners in bed . 
through discussions with slade's ex-manager cecil ( michael feast ) , ex-wife mandy ( toni collette , reinventing herself as an american blonde dish who fakes a british accent when with slade ) , and finally ex-partner wild , journalist stuart begins to remember his own experiences in the era , like his discovery of his rebelliousness cum conformity , including the moment when he began questioning his own sexuality ( when he opens up his first slade record , he finds a naked and green slade lying on a crimson blanket ) , and finally running away from home to be part of the london scene , finally resulting in leading a boring job in america . 
haynes demonstrates that he's quite the visual auteur , molding scenes that are like long heald breaths , such as a seemingly long sequence juxtaposing a slade/wild concert of them performing a brian eno cover , "" baby's on fire , "" with scenes from a decadent drug party ; and the film's most wow-inspiring sequence , the first concert scene of wild with his band , the ratttz , where mcgregor lets loose so much anarchic steam that his wild iggy-esuqe movements ( including stripping naked ) and screams that the film captures that perfect moment when one discovers a major talent , and another ( slade ) discovers his idle . 
even the brief music videos , spoofs of bowie's , have a rare visual flair that's pure camp , and which would cause ken russell to drool . 
the best sequence , though , may be the beginning , following the prelude , a sequence which acts as the middle ground for both the actual being of the movement and the post-movement era . 
in it , stuart and his mates are going to the infamous slade concert where he fakes his own death , where he kills off his alter ego maxwell demon in what appears to be a real assasination , which brought about the end of the era in one swift fake bullet . 
with brian eno's famous "" needle in the camel's eye "" playing in the background , the scene has a detached exhileration - the song doesn't seem to be played in quite the same way the other songs are . 
it has a distance that's hard to put a finger on , and it seems to represent that all this is coming to a quick and sad ending , and when one sees slade in the dressing room before the show , docked in a silver frock with wings and blue hair , depressingly staring into the mirror , it comes off as a none-too-obvious prophecy of the finale in the beginning of the film . 
this movie's not so much about plot , but more about the way it is presented , making this one of those films which is classified as being "" style over substance , "" a statement which prompts many critics to line up for attack . 
however , for the most part , the engaging part of this film is not the story but rather the way in which haynes creates this world , by using his sets , costumes , cinematography , and especially the music to play as characters in his film . 
the music is especially notable . 
the soundtrack , which is wall to wall , consists of old school glam rock tunes by the likes of brian eno , t-rex , and roxy music , as well as covers by slade's band ( with vocals by thom yorke , and occasionally rhys meyers himself ) , and even newer music by shudder to think that sounds uncannily bowie-like . 
the cast is rather impressive , but no one really walks away with the film , and no performances are extremely good . 
although eddie izzard , as slade's manager ( who challenges slade's first manager to an arm-wrestling match to see who gets control of his career ) and michael feast as the first and tragic manager come off greatly , and collette and mcgregor have their moments , rhys meyers and bale are noticably sub-par , neither putting a lot of effort into their respective roles . 
some of it is at fault with the actual construction of the film by haynes . 
rhys meyers' brian slade remains merely a metaphor for the glam rock era , dying when he turned into a retro-garbo , resorting to a life of salinger-ism , and found in the mid-70s to be lying around , sniffing coke off the ass of a party girl . 
in fact , no one in this film is really seen as a person , rather than just as a symbol or composite of a type who thrived during the era . 
bale's character is an especially tough sell : bitter and depressed by flashbacks to his young adulthood , he's not an extremely personal character , and his cliched experiences ( being hounded by the record store guys for buying a record put out by a "" poof "" ) never help us communicate with him . 
nevertheless , rhys meyers and mcgregor have the excuses that their characters are not really characters but rather the results of an era that has left them , and others , bitter , part of which helps the film work , since this is a major piece of eye candy . 
at the prime of the movie , they at least look the role of fashionable leaders - slade with his perpetually-changing , androgonys persona , and wild with his topless and unpredictable image , which clash and fuse into an unstable union . 
their story - of how slade was so influenced by wild that he adapted it into a similar who-cares attitude crossed with camp - is engaging , without the personal background . 
the story of stuart , though , is a tougher sell because he's the everyman , and when you can't totally identify with the everyman , your story's in slight trouble . 
as a cultural rock piece , "" velvet goldmine "" is rather good , but it is merely good . 
it never totally takes off , although it has moments where it absolutely flies , but then comes back down . 
it's really nothing more than a bunch of really great moments , surrounded by material that could really be much better . 
the beginning is captivating but slow , the middle is fantastic , and the ending is not only shallow but worse than that , it drags ( the final half hour not only does it not bring the story to any real conclusion , it could probably stop at any point ) . 
and did anyone really figure out what the mystery is that arthur unearths ? 
it almost seems like there was no point in the entire investigation other than to unearth the past , which is commendable but not totally so . 
still , it does what the oliver stone pic "" the doors "" didn't do right , becoming very insightful to what happened , using the visual style to hit most of the right notes of contrast between what made the era so great to those who lived during it and why after living through such an era that everything else seems half-assed ( i suppose the message is : "" live life , but after you've lived it , what else is the point when you'll be forced to live with regretful memories ? "" ) . 
the really superb achievement of this film is that during its flashbacks , it successfully creates for the audience what it must have felt like to be in that era , but with the added perk of knowing the result of all that goes down . 
"
"1","when i first heard that romeo & juliet had been "" updated "" i shuddered . 
i thought that yet another of shakespeare's classics had been destroyed . 
fortunately , i was wrong . 
baz luhrman has directed an "" in your face "" , and visually stunning piece with this film . 
it revolves around the two rival families , who in this version each run multi-million dollar enterprises . 
these rival companies/families are the capulet's and the montague's . 
the younger generation of these two families have formed gangs , who despise one another . 
as the storylines goes , romeo montague ( played by leonardo dicaprio ) and juliet capulet ( claire danes ) meet at a fancy dress party , and it is love at first site . 
i never believed love at first site was possible until i saw this film , the scene in which romeo's eyes meet juliet's through the fish tank is one of the most memorable . 
of course , they cannot publicly reveal their love , for their families are arch enemies . 
so they marry in secret , this is where things begin to go wrong . 
the story , as with all good shakespeare , ends in tragedy . 
the cinematography is spectacular to say the least , and the soundtrack provides the perfect atmosphere in which to "" lay our scene "" , as the film says . 
there is very little to criticise . 
the performances are convincing , and several of the film's younger stars may find that it provides a launch for their careers . 
the modernisation of the script is ingenious and clever . 
despite the well known storyline , this latest version still manages to cause tears among many members of the audience ( especially the younger generation ) , and this is certainly a great credit to the film . 
"
"1","krippendorf's tribe is a formula comedy . 
done poorly , formulaic comedies might seem to signify the downfall of american cinema . 
however , every now and then , one emerges , like krippendorf's tribe , that actually works . 
professor james krippendorf ( richard dreyfuss ) , the renowned anthropologist , is in trouble . 
his university gave him a hefty grant to discover a lost tribe in new guinea . 
however , he found . . . nothing . 
his wife has recently died , and he has spent the remainder of the grant money in raising his three kids : shelly ( natasha lyonne ) , mickey ( gregory smith ) and edmund ( carl michael lidner ) . 
tonight , he is expected to lecture on his newfound tribe . 
rather than break the news ( and face the consequences of misusing his funds ) , he invents a tribe : the shelmikedmu ( named after his kids ) . 
however , one lie begets another as he is not only required to deliver filmed proof of the shelmikedmu , but his research becomes a popular phenomenon . 
soon , professor krippendorf is caught up in an elaborate ruse in which he films mockumentary footage starring his children as the shelmikedmu tribal members . 
his efforts are hampered by the boasts of an over-eager colleague , veronica micelli ( jenna elfman ) , and the intense scrutiny of a rival anthropologist , ruth allen ( lily tomlin ) . 
krippendorf's tribe does seem to require a little suspension of disbelief . 
no one seems to question the way his field documentaries seem to be shot with multiple cameras , or that his newly discovered tribesmen have startlingly blue eyes . 
luckily , as the film builds momentum , that suspension of disbelief is easy to come by . 
though there's some mild humor in the krippendorf family trying to pass themselves off as a lost tribe , the real humor of the film is in how james gets trapped in his ever increasing snowball of lies . 
the double meanings to many of the shelmikedmu appearances are enjoyable , and the comic timing required for some of the film's latter scenes is superb . 
richard dreyfuss is terrific as the hapless professor who soon loses control of his own imaginary tribe . 
jenna elfman's position as a romantic lead seems a bit forced at times , but she plays the part with extreme affability . 
even the kids , who in films like this tend to be a bit on the precocious side , are endearing and humorous . 
yes , the film does veer occasionally into some rather lowbrow humor , but it has the best excuse of all : it's funny . 
it may not go down as an all-time classic , but it certainly delivers what you expect from a comedy : plenty of laughs . 
"
"1","not since 1996's shine , which starred geoffrey rush as pianist david helfgott , has a movie so defiantly laid bare the lives of world-class musicians . 
in fact , if one were to watch these films together , it would almost certainly stand as a convincing argument that a life of music naturally leads to all varieties of social ills . 
yet hilary and jackie , the sophomore effort from director anand tucker , has something more to say -- it softly but strongly explores the complex relationships of sibling rivalry and love in a very compelling tale . 
emily watson and rachel griffiths are the leads in this tale , playing the sisters du pr ? . 
both musicians from childhood , hilary ( griffiths ) is renowned flutist while jacqueline ( watson ) is easily as skilled on the cello . 
the two comepete for and win many honors as children and as young women , both together and seperate . 
their careers as musicians surpass and then bow to one another's , and although their lives take very different paths -- hilary settles down to marriage and a family while rachel skips across the globe on a world concert tour -- they are bound together by their deep family love . 
the performances of watson and griffiths are excellent in style and substance . 
they contrast each other wonderfully , and while watson's portrayal of jackie du pr ? is at times eccentric and perhaps unsympathetic , both characters are charged with emotion . 
the frank cottrell boyce script , which is based on the book by hilary and piers du pr ? , brings a great deal of depth to these characters as well . 
the script is also to be commended for its well-polished dual nature . 
cottrell boyce adopts a style which one might expect to see in a mystery thriller ( which was in fact the case with david koepp and robert towne's script for mission : impossible ) and skillfully molds it to the story of two rising musicians on different courses to fame . 
the latter parts of his script are controversial to say the least , and the rather depressing ending takes the wind out of an envigorating story . 
some will leave this movie feeling disenfranchised . 
nevertheless , hilary and jackie is a movie that reaches an upper echelon of contemporary cinema through solid fundamentals and is a decent watch all around . 
"
"1","luckily , some people got starship troopers . 
some people knew it was supposed to be silly . 
for those of you who didn't , how could you miss it ? 
from the very beginning , when we see an interactive internet-like promotional video for the armed forces of the future , it should be obvious this film is to be taken lightly . 
i guess without blatant one-liners and home alone style slapstick , some people just don't recognize such goofy humor . 
such a dry approach to such intentionally campy humor must have left some disillusioned . 
first thing to do before seeing this movie - lighten up . 
meet the equivalent of "" beverly hills 90210 "" meets "" mighty morphin power rangers "" . 
four close friends are now graduating high school and are ready to join the armed forces , which , in the future , means fighting for the whole galaxy and not just your country . 
johnny rico ( casper van dien ) is ready to join the infantry , mostly because his girlfriend carmen ibanez ( denise richards ) has enlisted to be a pilot . 
dizzy flores ( dina meyer ) has enlisted as a trooper , and it's possible she's joining merely to follow rico , whom she's always had eyes for . 
if you saw these three on the street , you'd automatically start searching for the fashion designers and photographers , for never has a movie's cast looked so much like the cut-out cover of "" seventeen "" magazine . 
the lone non-supermodel , carl jenkins ( played by doogie howser himself , neil patrick harris ) is the brainiac who gets into the military intelligence division , the top secret department that pretty much leaves doogie - er , carl out of the picture . 
 ( good call - now we can put all our drooling efforts into only the most deserving of characters ) . 
right off the bat , rico becomes the star of the show , far surpassing all the other soldiers and becoming squadron leader in a short period of time . 
but a horrific accident during a standard training exercise ( which follows all to closely to his breakup with carmen ) leaves rico ready to call it quits . 
with his bags packed and his civilian clothes back on , johnny is ready to walk off base and catch the next flight home . 
well sorry , rico suave , but there's no place like home , especially after gigantic alien insects have destroyed it . 
that's right , the planet is being attacked by a colony of arachnid-like alien beings that a can of raid just isn't going to destroy . 
with a sudden change of heart ( and clothes ) , rico is back in the game , following his fellow starship troopers off to fight a mean group of daddy long legs . 
what starship troopers really is , is a spoof of all that it even remotely touches on - the soap opera like love affairs of high school , the love for sci-fi and thirst for gore shared by this same age group , etc . nothing is taken seriously . 
it's almost as much a satire on young adults as clueless , but with its sly and futuristic approach , it's not as recognizably so . 
it's a spoof so subtle that many won't recognize the spoofery . 
if you deem this as sci-fi/action , you're wrong . 
it's sci-fi/action/comedy , with the comedy being on the level of such cult favorites as evil dead 2 . starship troopers just may be on the road to cult status as well . 
gore is a factor heavily brought up in reviews of this film , but the gore , too , is meant to be cheesy . 
yes , it's graphic , but it's also brutally phony , and that's what makes it such great fun to watch . 
not since the old "" mr . bill "" skits on "" saturday night live "" has torture and mutilation been such a joy to watch . 
people were laughing out loud every time a body was severed in half or a head was viciously decapitated . 
perhaps it brings back fond memories of the severities we inflicted upon our sisters' barbie dolls as young children . 
with the actors resembling ken and barbie so closely , it's a good chance this is the case , whether we're fully aware of it or not . 
starship troopers has it's slow parts , but it's truly an alternative to your typical sci-fi/action flick or lame juvenile comedy . 
aside from the intentionally cheesy gore , the special effects are quite astounding . 
when the spaceship passes a meteor , it's quite an awesome spectacle , visually crisp and captivating . 
if you're looking for brainless fun , this is the epitome of your search . 
a beautiful cast , awesome special effects , fast-paced action , campy acting , and a whole lot of gore . 
this is brainless heaven . 
just remember not to think . 
"
"1","the happy bastard's 30-second review 
notting hill 
a cute romantic comedy from the writer of the hit comedy four weddings and a funeral , notting hill stars julia roberts as anna scott , a very popular actress with a $15 million asking price for movies . 
one day she wanders into a travel book store owned by a simple london resident ( played by hugh grant ) , and sparks somehow begin to fly . 
sure , there are points of turmoil , such as putting up with grant's slightly disgusting ( but very hilarious ) roommate spike , anna's pesky ex-boyfriend ( alec baldwin in a humorous cameo ) , and , on top of all that , those damn press . 
it's a fresh sort of complexity to see in a romantic comedy , very different from , say , a stubborn father or "" not the right time "" like as seen in usual flicks . 
roberts is terrific as the astonishingly beautiful actress , and grant is surprisingly good as the straightforward guy still trying to get a hold of what has actually happened with this girl . 
in short , a sweet romantic comedy that has a lot of good laughs , particularly provided by spike . 
one tee-shirt really says it all about him . 
in an attempt to turn on a woman , he shows the front of the shirt , which says : "" you are the most beautiful woman in the world . "" 
on the back ? 
 "" fancy a f * * k ? "" 
"
"1","first , i am not a big fan of the x-files tv series . 
i have nothing against it particularly , i just don't happen to watch it . 
having said that , i can now say that i liked the x-files pretty well . 
for us non-fans , there's nothing big going for it , but there are a lot of little things . 
the movie opens on an ice cave in north texas in 35 , 000 b . c . 
two proto-humans enter the cave and find a space alien cocooned inside . 
the alien breaks free and kills one man in a struggle while the other is seemingly captured by the bloody ooze from the alien . 
the movie jumps to the same cave today where a boy ( lucas black , from sling blade ) is captured by the same black ooze . 
we then cut to fbi agents scully and mulder ( gillian anderson and david duchovny ) , who have been pulled off of their previous assignment ( investigations into the paranormal ) and put onto the bomb squad detail . 
a caller has threatened a federal building in dallas , texas . 
on a hunch , mulder checks out the building across the street , and , wouldn't you know it , he turns out to be right . 
the fbi finds the bomb in time to evacuate but not in time to defuse . 
five people die in the blast , and when mulder learns who the victims were , a light bulb goes on over his head . 
the two agents team up to investigate , against fbi orders , the links mulder has made . 
their search leads them back to the north texas cave , all across the country , and even to antarctica as they get closer and closer to "" the truth . "" 
the plot , and "" the truth , "" are uninspired . 
i got the feeling that what i learned was supposed to shock and amaze me . 
it didn't . 
the possible existence of aliens on earth has been explored so many times before in movies that one could hardly count them . 
but the point of the x-files is not what the truth is , but the extent to which it has been hidden . 
it's a slightly more interesting angle , but it still raises expectations about that "" truth "" too high . 
if this were the whole film , i would say the movie was mediocre , perhaps even boring . 
but there are other qualities that make me like this movie well enough to recommend it . 
the pacing of the film was brisk enough to hold my interest . 
before the audience can get tired of one location , the agents follow a hot tip to another location , and so on and so forth . 
the locations are not all computer-generated sets , either . 
there are some artificial settings , but the desert night of nevada , the edge of suburbia in texas , and the endless fields of snow in antarctica ( actually somewhere in north america . ) 
make this fantastic film feel more real . 
ward russell's cinematography is very good . 
the overall look is dark and ominous , appropriate to the intended tone of the film's plot . 
russell is able to make something as innocuous as a cornfield look foreboding . 
when the movie is set in darkness , the picture quality is still rich and detailed . 
finally , and specifically , there is an incredible shot at night in which the camera crosses the tracks in front of a fast oncoming train . 
i don't know if the shot is faked in any way , but it looks dangerous , and it looks great . 
the movie's soundtrack is also used to convey the dark tone of the film . ( skip 
to the next paragraph if you have yet to see the movie - there is a spoiler in the following sentences . ) during the opening prehistoric sequence , a howling wind dogs the soundtrack , never giving the characters or the audience an escape from the lonely terrible sound . 
in one of the movie's most effective sequences , metallic doors suddenly slam open to release a cloud of buzzing bees . 
the visuals of the scene are good , but what makes it so surprising and frightening is the sound . 
there was no question as to who the movie's stars would be . 
even so , duchovny and anderson are an interesting pair of actors and a good combination . 
both are easy on the eyes and together , they have some good timing , banter , and energy . 
there is a hint of chemistry between them , but it never gets in the way of their professional relationship . 
they are like a couple of kids out exploring the empty lot at the end of the street . 
there might be some romantic interest , but for now they're more interested in their environs than they are in each other . 
no single element really makes this movie outstanding - not even the sense of paranoia that makes the tv show so popular . 
but enough things were done right that the x-files is one of the more interesting summer adventures to come along . 
"
"1","many people will not find much to like in what dreams may come , the new film by visionary director vincent ward . 
most will come to see the computer animated landscapes and vibrant colors . 
but little do they know ( as i so plainly found out ) that this has quite a complex story to tell . 
walking out of the theater , i could see the audience's disgust . . . 
one member even had to be awakened after the film ended . 
don't believe the previews that you see . . . 
this is definitely not a film for everyone . 
this is quite possibly one of the most adult-oriented films to come out in recent years . 
kids will get bored with the slow plotting and the complex storyline . 
the plot is just as fluid as the heaven that ward presents to us . 
it goes back and forth in time , as if it has no boundaries . 
think of the film city of angels . 
now add a more complex screenplay and a more unique vision . 
both films deal with the afterlife , but i doubt what dreams may come will do well at the box office . 
costing around $85 million to make , the film would have to do extremely well in order to make it's money back . 
but due to it's story , i doubt it will . 
for everyone who thought titanic's story was too simple and cliche , here is proof that if james cameron had written a more complex screenplay , it may not have done nearly as well . 
but don't get me wrong . . . 
i hope the film does do well . 
it's a vision of pure visceral enjoyment that hardly ever gets put to the screen . 
i doubt most of us could have thought of this place , even in our own mind . 
what dreams may come is the second best film of the year when it comes to visuals . 
the only film that surpasses it is dark city . 
full of rich , shocking colors , we get to see a heaven that most of us would probably die to get to . 
but don't do that , because you'll end up going to hell . 
what dreams may come begins with two boats colliding on a lake . 
chris "" christy "" nielsen ( robin williams ) is startled by the sudden jolt , but is even more startled by the beauty of the woman in the other boat . 
annie ( annabella sciorra ) spies chris , as well , and both eventually bond and get married . 
annie is an artist , whose paintings are colorful , lush , and surrealistic . 
chris is a doctor and loves annie more than life itself . 
they also have two children , marie ( jessica brooks ) and ian ( josh paddock ) . 
but one day , the two children are killed in a car crash , and it almost destroys annie . 
she tries to commit suicide , but fails , and is then put in an institution . 
chris copes with the problem by realizing they aren't around anymore , and nothing will change that . 
just as annie gets her life back in order , chris is killed while trying to save the life of a car crash victim . 
chris goes to heaven , or his version of heaven , rather . 
guided by albert ( cuba gooding , jr . ) , chris explores his new surroundings with pure delight and joy . 
that is , until he realizes how miserable he is without annie . 
prior to heaven , he would try to comfort annie , but the more he was around , the more pain she felt . 
chris decides to leave her alone . 
little does he realize what will happen next . 
i'm not about to say , because the plot point is crucial to the rest of the story ( many critics , however , give it away ) . 
certainly , chris dying is crucial to the plot , but they tell you that he dies in the previews . 
story is not necessarily important for this movie to work , because it deals with the afterlife . 
however , strangely , virtually nothing is heard of god or the devil . 
a couple of comments here and there , but the story maintains its focus on chris and his search for the love of his life . 
 "" we're soul mates ! "" 
chris exclaims . 
heaven , in movies , is almost always depicted as a glowing city of white , purity , and love . 
usually , it also looks like it rests among the clouds . 
but what dreams may come goes a different route . 
it shows us a heaven that most of us have never seen before . 
chris' heaven is his memories brought to life . 
his thoughts can make anything real , and he makes the paintings annie drew become his heaven . 
 "" i've never seen anyone use real paint before , "" albert says . 
equally good as the depictions of hell which cast away the normal stereotypes of fire and brimstone . 
instead , it's a state of being . 
in one gloriously horrific scene , chris and his "" tracker "" ( max von sydow ) arrive at a sea of faces . 
thousands of heads are stuck above ground , their bodies somewhere else . 
mostly dead silent , some quips are made , almost as if to lighten the mood . 
it's truly a frightening sequence . 
production designer eugenio zanetti is definitely going to be up for an oscar nomination . 
using state of the art computer technology , worlds are created for exploration . 
sometimes , some scenes play out as if they are only there for the visual impact . 
it's not necessary to be there , but we appreciate seeing it . 
costume designer yvonne blake ( who also appears in the film ) has done an incredible job providing some interesting and colorful costumes . 
cinematographer eduardo serra , whose work was last seen in the luscious wings of the dove , has a difficult job , as most cinematographers do working with special effects . 
but serra's entire universe is a computer generated image , and he does a masterful job . 
writer ron bass , adapting from the novel by richard matheson , provides a very fluid screenplay with no real set plot . 
the story is extremely vague in its details , allowing viewers to think for themselves about the meaning . 
and director vincent ward puts it all together into his final vision . 
what dreams may come is a good example of german expressionism which may just turn off a good portion of the audience . 
your average movie goer more than likely isn't used to expressionistic techniques . 
the film will also definitely draw attention from religious people , but they shouldn't take it too far . 
it is , after all , just a movie . 
robin williams has continuously impressed with his dramatic performances , while his comedic roles have been suffering . 
his comedy is perfection when he makes up his own stuff , but when is confined by a screenplay , he isn't quite as effective . 
but drama is really his strong point , and you can see that here . 
it's doubtful he'll get another oscar nomination , but i wouldn't really mind if he did . 
the real surprise here is annabella sciorra who impressed last year with cop land . 
this may be her breakout role and may garner her some much needed attention . 
it's also quite possible that she could get an oscar nomination . 
however , the academy doesn't like to award performances for these types of films . 
cuba gooding , jr . has been better , but he's certainly not distracting . 
max von sydow is underused , as are jessica brooks and josh paddock . 
a treat for some movie goers is to see werner herzog appear ( if they even recognize him ) as chris' father lost in the sea of faces . 
it's not hard to see why herzog would be attracted to this film , considering he thinks that audiences are starving for great images . 
overall , it's williams and sciorra's film . 
what dreams may come is rated pg-13 for thematic elements involving death , some disturbing images , language , and some partial nudity . 
the film is definitely aimed at a more adult audience . 
some will find the plot distracting . 
some will find the visuals absolutely glorious . 
and some will find both . 
the only real problem with the film , that i could see , was that it slows down considerably during the midsection , just after we have been immersed in the visuals and before the search for annie begins . 
by the way , some controversy even surrounded the title , which was mistaken for a sexual term ( "" what "" becomes "" wet "" and you should understand ) . 
in actuality , the title is from a soliloquy in hamlet . 
just thought i should let you know . 
"
"1","when i was growing up in 1970s , boys in my school used to divide into two groups , based on their action movies preferences . 
the first one , myself included , liked movies that featured spectacular car chases , lots of machinegun fire and huge explosions . 
the latter one preferred hong kong martial arts flicks , probably because they could ( or , to be more precise , thought they could ) imitate its stunts in the real life . 
decades later , while refining my own cinematic taste , i began to appreciate and actually like those movies , probably because of overexposure to shoot-em-up idiocy of 1980s ramboids . 
yes , most of the kung fu and other "" martial arts "" flicks were cheap , they had predictable and formulaic plot , and asked very little of production values aside from martial arts skills . 
but , in the same time , those movies had their own rules and in the hands of capable director could become a terrific guilty pleasure and source of relaxation . 
the best of those movies , one that passed the test of time and managed to keep its own cult status after quarter of century was enter the dragon . 
made in 1973 in a joint hong kong - hollywood venture , it was intended to bring bruce lee's skills and kung fu philosophy to the western audience . 
it succeeded , but it is still debatable whether by its own merit or by the unfortunate and mysterious death of bruce lee that immortalised the myth about that actor . 
lee plays a quiet shaolin monk who is a martial arts expert . 
he is approached by interpol official who asks him to join tri-annual martial arts tournament that is held on a remote island , owned and controlled by han , renegade shaolin monk . 
interpol suspects that the martial arts business is just cover for narcotics , gun-running and prostitution operations and lee must find the evidence necessary for authorities to intervene . 
lee accepts the mission because of personal reasons - o'harra , han's brutal bodyguard was responsible for the tragic death of lee's sister years ago . 
the island is also destination of two colourful martial arts experts from us - williams ( played by jim kelly ) is black activist running from the racist police , and his friend roper wants to make money in order to pay gambling debts . 
the plot of enter the dragon was in many ways influenced by james bond ( the 007 franchise itself would return favour by using kung fu elements in the man with the golden gun two years later ) . 
the main hero was faced against a power-hungry megalomaniac on a remote island , alone against whole army of bad guys . 
on the other hand , lee was more believable hero than bond ; deprived of guns and super-tech gadgets , he had to rely only on his personal skills in order to survive . 
in the same time , the plot , although extremely thin , allowed him even some internal battles - between the natural instinct to avenge his sister and his own anti-violent philosophy . 
the latter provided some opportunities to evaluate lee's acting skills and some new elements to his impressive screen presence . 
although two other main actors - john saxon being the obligatory good white guy and jim kelly being the obligatory black good guy - were intended to share top spot with lee , they served as nothing more than a comic relief . 
it is a real shame to see kelly , definitely the worse actor than saxon , to steal the scenes from him only because his lines , being the worst possible blaxploitation cliches , sound so damn over the top . 
other actors , not including shih kien who turns han into typical , although not very convincing bondian villain , are nothing more than fist fodder for bruce lee ( among them is young jackie chan ) . 
fighting scenes are still impressive today as they were 25 years ago , although they mostly lack gore associated with that genre . 
in many way they are also more realistic ( they were personally staged by lee himself ) , demanding only a blow or two to incapacitate or kill the opponent . 
i'm not a martial arts expert nor the martial arts fan , but comparing those scenes with typical scenes today i simply can't avoid to appreciate the difference from today's movie fights when masses of bloody pulp manage to get up from the floor and win in the end . 
so , despite all the obvious flaws that preclude this movie of being top 100 of all times , enter the dragon is a incredibly entertaining piece of cinema and the martial arts flick that can be enjoyed even by those who don't like that particular genre . 
"
"1","one of the sweetest tales to ever be made , it's a wonderful life isn't perfect , but its good natured charm and beautiful performances light up the screen with glorious results . 
probably the greatest "" feel-good "" film of all time , it's a wonderful life aims for the heart , and strikes with a golden arrow . 
on christmas eve , george bailey ( stewart ) is being prayed for by many in the small town of bedford falls . 
you see , george is in trouble , and he has always helped others who needed it . 
this one time , however , god answers his prayers , and sends down the lovable guardian angel clarence ( travers ) to try and save george . 
clarence has got his own problems , however . 
clarence is an angel without his wings , and each time the bell rings , the wings pass him by . 
the bailey case is a way for him to earn those magical wings and become a true angel . 
but before clarence can save george , he first has to go through a cliffs notes version of george bailey's life . 
we see george sacrificing his hearing to save his brother's life , sacrificing his college education to save the family business , sacrificing his dream of living far away to support his brother , and even sacrificing his life to make sure his brother is happy working somewhere else . 
when the bank his family owns is in trouble , george gives away his honeymoon money to make sure the bank isn't sold to the evil mr . potter ( barrymore ) , who wants nothing less than to get the baileys out of bedford falls . 
one christmas , potter gets his chance . 
uncle billy bailey ( mitchell ) loses $8 , 000 of the bank's money . 
without the money , the bank must close down . 
george is stuck in a tremendous bind , and contemplates suicide . 
clarence , the faithful servant , is there just to pick him up , and to show him what bedford would be like without george . 
this is all a lead-in to the very famous last scene , where george finally sees what true happiness is about . 
it's a wonderful life does have its faults . 
the movie is beginning to feel dated in the details , especially in the treatment of women and men . 
the sex roles in the film are weirdly out of place in the 90's , like something out of a revisionist look . 
all the men drink too much and slap their wives too much during some portions of the film . 
there are , however , endearing moments in all of this . 
capra puts in just enough humor mocking the sex roles of the 50's to make the movie remarkably enjoyable . 
the story is hackneyed , and the ending feels , well , a little too sugarish . 
there's this uneasy feeling of sugar over everything , especially the sequences where george is either in trouble , or helping somebody . 
it's a little too nice for my liking , at times . 
there is , however , enough humor , enough wit , and enough of jimmy stewart to get the movie through the middle part , which would be the most difficult . 
but watching it's a wonderful life is never boring or difficult : it's always interesting , right until the finale , which , for all its sugar , makes delightful sense and is beautifully done . 
capra does have his monumental cliches , but the actors relish them and overplay everything to perfection . 
donna reed is perfect as the loving , obeidient wife , and lionel barrymore is gloriously grump as mr . potter . 
everyone else is magnificent , including bert and ernie ( ward bond and frank faylen ) . 
there is a general sense of goodness , as if everyone in the film knows that they are making a great film , and they relish that . 
stewart , however , is the king of all of this . 
he is sometimes awkward , especially when saying "" merry christmas "" to all objects , animate or inanimate . 
but he is james stewart , and he's lovably delightful throughout the film . 
have i complained ? 
i shouldn't have . 
this is a really good movie . 
no , this is a great movie . 
better yet , this is a phenomenal movie . 
there is a reason classics are invented : to make sure that people will always have great movies to aid them in their quest for living life . 
this is one of those films . 
it is a "" feel-good "" movie , something people complain a little too much about . 
but capra's reworking of "" a christmas carol "" is the greatest christmas movie of all time . 
there , i've said it . 
i have to admit , the first time i saw this , i saw it with my family , including my 11 year old kid sister . 
they all loved it . 
they loved george , his wife , his troubles , and the beautiful ending . 
is it a little too sugar-coated ? 
maybe . 
no matter . 
this is a film that should be watched time and time again , with families around a coffee table , and eggnog on the plate . 
it is a film that just makes you feel good about life , family , and hope . 
it is the perfect christmas film , flaws and all . 
it is frank capra's greatest acheivement , and that really does say a lot . 
for about 121 out of 129 minutes , this movie is flawless . 
the rest can be excused : no film is perfectly flawless . 
i can't get over how much i love this movie , and how much you will , after watching it , digesting it , and sitting with your family , appreciating how special life really is . 
"
"1","of circumcision , psychic wounds and the family sitcom 
the opening segment is something of a foretaste of this film . 
there's a guy's voice telling us how he tries to imagine what his biological parents look like , and on the screen we see images of a variety of oldish men and women . 
as his imagination plays o n , he ( and we ) picture these motley characters in a mix-and-match shuffle of unlikely marriages , businesswomen with bums , matrons with paint salesmen , the images coming on in a faster and faster frenzy . 
it's not just a witty , funny summing up of the film 's themes - you might not guess it yet , but it sets the pattern for the way the story goes on . 
what starts out as a step in a fairly sensible direction , gets taken on a road trip , put through a detour or two and finds itself freewheeling towards an immin ent crash . 
that may not sound so different from the average family sitcom , and the general idea of the film doesn't , at first , seem so wildly distant from standard-issue hollywood comedy : man who was adopted as a child ( ben still er ) sets out on a journey to meet his real parents , along with his wife ( patricia arquette ) , his baby , and a pretty psychology-researcher ( tea leoni ) in tow . 
various mix-ups , shenanigans , oddball characters and , yup , disasters follow . 
but if you think you've been here before , the dialogue and the direction ( by david o . russell , who made spanking the monkey ) take it into another dimension . 
the dreaded t-name seems an inevitable reference point ( what with a drug overdose scene and the casting of arquette from true romance ) but really the point is that the foot-massage master hasn't got a monopoly on plot twists and fast , funny , irreverent lines , or on the absurdities of ordinary speech . 
whether it's about circumcision , psychic wounds , oral sex , carjacking , the beauties of the armpit area , or ronald reagan , the script never seems to run out of hilarious invention . 
the best thing is how these words aren't just there for the punchlines , but are great precisely because they're said in character , like tea leoni's neurotically-charged psychobabbler who's able to say under assault , "" it's understandable if you find this threatening "" . 
the cast is excellent throughout , and , rather than singling out anybody , kudos are due to the fine ensemble acting , with the sometimes frenetically overlapping dialogue and the sense of a dozen different reagents colliding to the point of fission . 
there are some elements of a woody allen film in this ( not to mention the hand-held camera and loose , improvisational feel of some scenes ) . 
like allen , russell's interests are in the volatile sexual politics of couples and the neurotic obsessions in both pare nts and children ( and everybody , really ) . 
still , if you're expecting a privileged moment of revelation and emotional outpouring a la "" murphy brown "" / "" frasier "" / fill-in-the-blank-american-comedy , well , it won't happen . 
the film sets up expectations like these , with the lead character's search f or his origins and his hopes of self-healing , only to knock them down . 
if the conventional sitcom structure is to put a slightly loopy family in catastrophic conditions only to rediscover their essential lovey one-ness , flirting with disaster's charact ers embark on a journey to seek that essential state but find themselves only plunging into more weirdness and dysfunctional chaos the further they go . 
and that , the film suggests , is the essential family state - and you better learn to love it . 
somehow , this is perversely feelgood cinema , right up to its manic end . 
"
"1","nosferatu the vampyre ( germany 1979 ) 
a film review by mike watson copyright 1999 mike watson 
this extraordinary re-telling of bram stoker's "" dracula "" by german filmmaker werner herzog deserves the most prominent of places in cinematic vampire lore . 
inspired by f . w . murnau's 1922 silent film of the same name , herzog's film is a work of exquisite bleakness , an oddly touching tragedy with a beautiful and uniquely haunting quality that lingers long afterwards . 
the original full-length english and german language versions of nosferatu have at last received a video release by u . s . distributor anchor bay entertainment , and in gorgeous widescreen prints . 
until now only a shortened english language version of the film was available on video , and only in europe . 
both of these re-releases restore the film to its full length , but viewers should still be wary of the english version due to its often stilted dialogue . 
apparently the english dialogue coach herzog had on the set during filming was incompetent , and some of the voices also seem to be dubbed . 
the german version with english subtitles remains the definitive one . 
everyone knows the story of dracula . 
or do they ? 
his story has been so bastardised on film over the years that a brief reminder of the basic plot certainly won't hurt . 
jonathan harker is a young lawyer sent to the gloomy castle dracula in transylvania to do business with a creepy count ( played by klaus kinski ) who wants to buy a house in harker's hometown . 
upon seeing a photo of harker's wife ( the radiant isabelle adjani ) he instantly falls in love with her . 
locking harker up in his castle , he sets off on a long journey to meet this woman whose beauty so bewitches him . 
upon divining his identity as a vampire , adjani seduces the count and lures him to his death one morning as the sun rises . 
that is a story familiar to millions , but herzog has elevated stoker's tale into the realm of - and i use this term a tad reluctantly - cinematic art . 
nosferatu is as much a meditation as it is a film , shot through blue-ish and white filters and peopled with characters who perform as if they were half hypnotised . 
the film's surreal , dream-like quality is utterly mesmerising . 
there is much to enjoy , but i'll limit my praise to a few key points . 
holding the film together is kinski's remarkable performance as count dracula . 
past screen portrayals , including bela lugosi's famous turn , have largely been one dimensional and tended towards camp . 
but kinski . . . oh boy , this is something far more compelling . 
aided by a startling make-up job , he portrays dracula's vampirism not simply as pure evil but as some sort of loathsome disease . 
this man is dreadfully lonely . 
he lives in utter solitude , shunned by the locals for his hideous appearance and reputation for bloodlust . 
kinski's portrayal of the count is both creepy and deeply affecting . 
when he dies , you almost feel as if this man's tortured soul has been freed at last . 
then there's the unforgettable soundtrack , largely composed by german group popul vuh . 
it is so eerily beautiful and evocative that it's quite impossible to imagine the film without it . 
popul vuh are longtime herzog collaborators and play an ancient-sounding kind of spacemusic using piano , chants , and exotic instruments . 
when i first saw this film some years ago i was so impressed i tracked down and bought a number of their albums . 
the one i still listen to the most is "" tantric songs "" , from which most of the music in nosferatu is taken . 
it's a testament to the music's depth that it is as powerful without the pictures as it is with them . 
the album is still available on the highly respected ambient and world music label celestial harmonies . 
this is a timely re-release by anchor bay . 
after francis ford coppola's unscary and woefully overblown version of bram stoker's tale in 1992 , it is a joy to go back to herzog's film and see the amazing things he has done with what is now a century-old story . 
to some aficionados , nosferatu is quite simply the greatest vampire film ever made . 
without a doubt , it is an unmistakable classic of the genre . 
don't miss it . 
"
"1","even if i did not know that director and co-writers james wong and jeffrey reddick of the creepy final destination helped create the hit television show the x-files , i would have inevitably made a connection . 
the similarities are very apparent from the inexplicable phenomenon- like plot , to the mysterious characters , to the overall dark , ominous settings . 
it would have been perfectly fitting to see fbi agents mulder and scully investigate this case , they witness stuff like this on a weekly basis ( in fact mulder and scully would have been a much more welcome change to the bland one dimensional fbi agents seen in this movie ) . 
another more important similarity , is that both succeed in entertaining and thrilling at the same time . 
this is a great accomplishment for a teen horror movie , especially when compared to some of the trash , of the same genre , released in the last couple of years ( urban legend and i still know what you did last summer are classic examples from the bunch ) . 
what helps final destination is its unique premise . 
unlike your average horror flick in which some invincible psycho with a knife chases blonde cheerleaders , the villain presented is unusual , it's the grim reaper . 
this being already has predestined when and how you will die . 
according to the brief history lesson given in this film , everyone was meant to die at a certain time , some people at 100 , others at 17 , whatever death chooses . 
what is unique about death is that it's already dead , so you can't really kill it . 
the only way to defeat death is to cheat it ; the question is how do you do that ? 
this dilemma is what faces alex and a group of teenagers . 
alex has been having some dreams that the airplane which will take his class on a trip to paris will crash , leaving no survivors . 
alex begins to realize that his dreams are a little too real and eventually gets himself and six others kicked off the plane right before it takes off . 
shortly after , the plane does indeed crash leaving some of the seven survivors confused and others feeling immortal . 
however , death isn't through with them yet . 
it gradually kills off the seven one by one , leaving those currently still alive frantically trying to trick death again . 
the plot allows for some of the most creative , original death scenes i have seen in a while . 
some scenes build up the perfect amount of tension until an elaborate climax , others are so unexpected they will leave your jaw wide open in shock . 
creativity and originality are two adjectives lacking in most horror films nowadays but final destination is not like most horror films . 
sure , it has your traditional share of jerks and outsiders ( ali larter's character is particularly annoying ) , but the shocks , from the beginning to the end , are extremely entertaining . 
also director wong has the sense not to take the movie too seriously . 
he knows its just another entertaining guilty pleasure that won't win any academy awards ( not even a golden globe ) . 
the myriad of inside jokes and gags ( the characters are named after famous horror directors , one character who plays a jerk is named carter , like x-files creator chris carter , and a song by john denver , who died in a plane crash , plays whenever death is near ) show this movie is a bunch of guys having a good time making a movie . 
and from this , i had a great time watching the movie . 
"
"1"," "" take a number , fill out a form , and wait your turn . "" 
starring kati outinen , kari v ? ? n ? nen , sakari kuosmanen , elina salo ; written & directed by aki kaurism ? ki ; cinematography by timo salminen 
it might be possible to call drifting clouds a satire or a black comedy , but that would imply a sense of anger , of vitriol , of energy ; drifting clouds is what you get when the rage and vitality are gone . 
it is the sad , slow story of lauri and ilona , a married couple caught between the wheels of capitalism as it grinds inexorably onward . 
he loses his job as a tram driver , because everyone drives cars nowadays . 
within a couple of months , she loses her position as a head waiter , when her restaurant is bought out by a chain and the entire staff replaced . 
a conversation early in the film reveals a lot about their situation . 
lauri has surprised ilona by buying her a tv , which she greets with little enthusiasm . 
she notes that they haven't finished paying for the bookshelves or the couch yet . 
he says that in four years the payments will be done and then they can buy some books for the shelves . 
it would pass as deadpan humour if it wasn't spoken with such resigned weariness . 
this sets the tone for the rest of the movie . 
there is humour and idiosyncracy at the periphery , but at the centre there is frustration and futility , and sorrow for the ways in which the logic of profit reduces people , until their worth is equated solely with their earning capacity . 
there is an element of political commentary in this critique of the mechanisms of capitalism and the stultifying social environment it creates , but in drifting clouds the political is subsumed by the personal : the movie is about two people and what happens to them , and nothing else matters . 
lauri and ilona live lives starved for friendship , respect , culture , passion . 
they go to the movies , and walk out past old posters for l'atalante and l'argent , but the movie they have just seen is a pointless , violent , unfunny comedy . 
their house and workplaces are uniformly unpleasant , painted and upholstered in lifeless colours ( ugly greens , dull reds , insipid blues ) , full of inelegantly functional objects and appliances . 
the art design is impeccable in its tawdriness , and director aki kaurism ? ki often matches the colour of characters' clothes with the background colour and/or lighting , so that it seems as if they are almost physically fading into the environment . 
there is no suggestion of sexuality in the relationship ; ilona and lauri sleep in separate beds and their gestures of affection lack the heat of desire ; their lives are now bound by something more complex and desperate than love . 
their downward , downsized , downtrodden lives have a momentum that is almost comic , as one setback succeeds another , bottoming out when lauri stakes all their remaining money on the spin of a roulette wheel . 
it must have been tempting to play the story for more laughs , more farce , more deadpan wit , but the film's great strength is the sober , empathic manner in which it observes lauri and ilona's misfortunes . 
irony would be an injustice . 
situations and settings are broad and exaggerated--this is not realism--but they are not distorted . 
the emotions are authentic . 
if it is difficult to laugh at anything that happens , despite the droll performances , the laconic humour , that's because kaurism ? ki brings such compassion and understanding to the manifold indignities that are suffered . 
he shows us how humiliating it must be for a woman of thirty-eight , who has worked long and hard to win a respectable position , to be forced to accept a job as a dishwasher in a two-bit restaurant ; how humiliating it must be for a man nearing 50 to confront his wife's former employer , demanding the rest of her wages , only to have the crap beaten out of him , unable to land a single punch , when the employer and his cronies refuse to give him the money . 
all this is observed keenly , with great economy : every cut , every line of dialogue , is judicious . 
if most films are novelistic in their telling , this one brings the focus and concentration of a short story to bear . 
but what is gained in nuance and acumen is rather undermined by the sense that the material barely accommodates the 96-minute running length . 
i have seen many movies far less profound , less humane , less necessary than drifting clouds , but they filled me with an urge to watch them again , and this one did not . 
it does not need to be seen twice : its every detail and implication can be absorbed in one viewing . 
it is not a movie that will be seen by a large audience , because it cannot be pitched to one . 
there is no selling point . 
it is all understatement , restraint , melancholy . 
the characters are unremarkable , their best years behind them , their dreams dissipated ; it takes all the effort they can muster just to pay the bills . 
this does not make them less fascinating , merely less marketable , which is a shame , because this is a movie which should be seen , precisely because it pays attention to people and emotions that most movies prefer to ignore . 
it engages us and touches us and resolves--surprisingly , and movingly--into something resembling a happy ending . 
the only thing greater than the ill-luck that governs the characters' lives is their refusal to give in to despair . 
their persistence is rewarded with what might be called a "" feel-good "" ending elsewhere , but not here , because this ending differs in kind from most such endings : this one has truly been earned . 
"
"1","ingredients : london gal , fate , true love , running joke about monty python's spanish inquisition 
synopsis : american actress gwyneth paltrow with dark hair , playing a londoner ? 
believe it . 
sliding doors is a love 'what if' story . 
the gimmick is that it's really two stories : the film follows the life of helen ( gwyneth paltrow ) down two directions . 
in the beginning , likeable gal 'helen' ( gwyneth paltrow ) gets unexpectedly fired from her advertising job . 
so she goes into the subway train station meaning to return home early to her apartment and her sleeping live-in lover gerry ( john lynch ) . 
helen doesn't know it , but she is at a fateful junction in life : 1 ) if she enters through the sliding door of a london subway train her life takes one path with one future 2 ) if she stays on the platform her life takes another path with a different future . 
the film shows what happens in both paths , switching back and forth between intertwined , parallel stories . 
in story one , helen meets a charming and talkative monty python fan named james ( john hannah ) on the train . 
arriving home early , she discovers that her live-in , gerry ( john lynch ) , is having sex with his former lover lydia ( jeanne tripplehorn ) . 
this leads to a life where helen moves out . 
helen's winsome new friend james helps her recover from a broken heart , and encourages her to start her own business . 
in story two , helen experiences a different fate . 
she misses the train , never meets james , and doesn't get home early enough to discover gerry's infidelity . 
in this new life , helen takes up odd menial jobs , and faces the constant sneaking suspicion that all is not right with her relationship with gerry . 
will the truth of the heart finally work its way through a number of problems and setbacks in both scenarios ? 
opinion : rejoice all ye monty python fans , gwyneth paltrow fans , and watchers of quirky romance flicks . 
at last here's proof that there's still creativity in 1990s filmmaking . 
sliding doors is refreshingly different from anything this year . 
not only is it a well-acted , heartwarming film , but it's also easily gwyneth paltrow's best recent performance . 
when helen ( paltrow ) screams that her unfaithful boyfriend is a 'shagging wanker , ' ( a british phrase better left untranslated ) she sounds like she knows what she's talking about ! 
nor does sliding doors go overboard with formulaic true love or other stereotypes . 
nobody scrambles around in danger , screaming , "" i will find you no matter what , my darling ! "" 
when helen finds herself on a boat in the starlight with james , she doesn't take the easy way out and leap into his arms , since she's supposed to be recovering from heartache . 
and handsome live-in boyfriend gerry isn't the stereotypical screen hunk ( either a stud or a snob ) . 
instead he's a nervous and indecisive , almost helpless hunk . 
another example : when one of the protagonists lies wounded in a hospital , sliding doors gives us neither the 'hospital miracle' nor a maudlin tragedy but surprises us with a third variation . 
in other words , all of the characters seem non-stereotyped , human , and local . 
there are minor inconveniences . 
since sliding doors switches back and forth between two possible fates , it's occasionally difficult to distinguish between the two . 
distinguishing between the two stories isn't a problem in the scenes containing paltrow , who sports two different hairstyles . 
but in scenes containing only lydia and gerry , who look the same in both stories , it's slightly confusing . 
also , quite a few snappy comebacks referring to american pop culture ( seinfeld , woody allen , etc . ) are spoken by the british characters . 
but these seem slightly forced , given that the remaining dialogue is predominantly british slang . 
possibly an attempt by the screenwriter to balance the british so that american audiences can feel more comfortable ? 
sliding doors is a charming , quirky , original , happy romance with a little 'philosophy of fate' thrown in . 
monty python and the meaning of fate , anybody ? 
"
"1","sick : the life and death of bob flanagan , supermasochist 
by fernando vallejo 
starring bob flanagan and sheree rose . 
interviews by kathe burkhart , kirby dick and rita valencia . 
produced and directed by kirby dick . 
running time : 90 mins . 
this film is not rated . 
the central themes of "" sick : the life and death of bob flanagan , supermasochist "" are pain and love , and its subsequent effect on a person's life . 
its protagonist , bob flanagan , who died at the age of 52 , suffered from cystic fibrosis , a mortal disease which debilitates the lungs by saturating them with thick coats of mucus , preventing him from normal breathing . 
the movie is about much more than recouperating ( or attempting to ) from this disease . 
an audacious , fabulously triumphant docudrama , "" sick "" chronicles the life of flanagan and his vicious , unthinkable acts of sadomasochism conducted with his mistress of 15 years , sheree rose , who amazingly provided much of the footage for the film . 
flanagan's idelogy crosses the realms of rebelliousness and becomes transcendental , similar to terry zwigoff's brilliant 1994 "" crumb "" , which also explored the dysfunction of an artist by painting not a sympathetic portrait , but a realistic one . 
both crumb and flanagan revelled in their defects . 
but flanagan was not only a man content on enduring the pain via lungs , he inflicted acts of pain on himself at a very young age , courageously defying god ( he was an irish catholic ) and turning his body into a work of art , which he unraveled in museums and lectures . 
behold these works of physical art . 
among them is a metal ball inserted inside his anus , and , --the most disturbing scene of the decade-- , nailing his penis to a board . 
flanagan was a man of great intelligence , wit and humor , as well as adopting a sense of candidness scarcely seen in modern filmmaking . 
not only did he approach his disease with humor , peforming burlesque acts in front of an audience , he was also revitalized by his approachment . 
most with cystic fibrosis do not make it past their earlier twenties ( there's also a subplot involving a female devotee who knew death was awaiting her . 
 ) 
but the most outstanding thing about "" sick "" is flanagan's relationship with sheree . 
brimming with honesty , sensual stimulation and unapologetically sad moments of pain , their powerful bond lifts "" sick "" into a rare cinematic high , where we forget we are in an auditorium and become a part of these people . 
the last scene , where we see the hero murmuring the last words to his wife in a hospital bed , as he struggles for his last moments of life , is raw , tender , hideous . 
it goes a step beyond cinematic intimacy . 
"
"1","studio expectations must not have been high for "" great expectations "" -- the film's release date was pushed from late december to late january at what appeared to be the last minute , therefore putting any academy awards chances it has off until this time in 1999 . 
it's actually a smart move , because while this updated take on the charles dickens tale isn't quite oscar fodder , it * is * strong enough to be distinguished from the cinematic dumping ground that usually makes up the first five or six weeks of any given year . 
 "" great expectations "" also demonstrates how to modernize a classic story right , especially after the excruciatingly wretched excesses of baz luhrmann's "" william shakespeare's romeo + juliet . "" 
 "" great expectations "" opens somewhere in 1970s florida ( the original story is set in 19th-century england ) , as eight-year-old finn ( jeremy james kissner ) meets a trio of people who will have a profound effect on his life in the future . 
there's icy , 11-year-old estella ( raquel beaudene ) , a pseudo-playmate of finn's ; ms . dinsmoor ( anne bancroft ) , estella's auntie who's quite off-kilter over a past romance that never took off ; and a mysterious prisoner ( robert de niro ) whom finn saves the life of . 
finn , who lives with his sister's affable boyfriend ( lone star's chris cooper ) , fancies himself an aspiring artist , and proves his prowess by whipping up an unusual portrait of estella using only ms . dinsmoor's lipstick , eyebrow pencil and the wallpaper from her dilapidating mansion . 
flash forward into the '90s ( after a brief stop in the '80s ) , and finn ( now played by ethan hawke ) , despondent over a strange hot-and-cold relationship with the elusive estella ( gwyneth paltrow ) , receives quite a bit of money from an unknown benefactor ; it's enough cash to send him to new york to focus on a career in art . 
there , finn seems to gain everything he could ever want -- wealth , prestige and a high place in the glamorous art world . 
when estella resurfaces -- albeit with an aloof fianc ? ( hank azaria ) -- finn also sees the chance to renew their mutual attraction . 
but she's not the only ghost from finn's past that's going to be paying him a visit . 
comparisons with the afore-mentioned "" romeo + juliet "" seem inevitable since these films are the only ones in recent memory to plop classic drama into a current setting . 
 "" great expectations "" is a much better venture , though , because it treats its source with even-handed respect , where "" romeo "" was never quite sure whether to be a spoof , a homage or both . 
the movie is a visual banquet thanks to emmanuel lubezki's sexy cinematography ; notably , he captures a revisited fountain kiss between the two leads with a luscious , erotic charge that's steamier than the film's ( surprisingly muted ) love scenes . 
the eclectic rock soundtrack compliments the on-screen action beautifully , especially new songs by tori amos , mono and duncan sheik . 
acting credits are first-rate , often hiding the screenplay's occasional slip-ups . 
hawke is sincere and solid as a leading man ( something we also learned from "" gattaca "" ) , and his finn is quite a likeable guy . 
paltrow's estella , on the other hand , is rather underdeveloped . 
while the actress is at her icily seductive best , we're not told very much about her character , and as a result , it's often hard to understand why finn would appreciate her beyond a physical level ( but , oh , * what * a physical level ) ; sometimes , we root for finn although we don't quite understand why she's fueling his fire . 
robert de niro is nice and sophisticated in the benevolent kind of role he rarely gets to play ; on the other end of the acting spectrum is bancroft , a macabre , throaty delight who mambos and sucks down cigarettes with an eerie enthusiasm that would make norma desmond jealous . 
alfonso cuaron's visually elegant direction helps to distract from the dry moments that pop up more frequently around the movie's climax . 
another problem is predictability ; you can guess your way through the plot even if you aren't familiar with the story . 
despite its script flaws , though , "" great expectations "" is undeniably romantic without being corny or gloppy . 
and frankly , it's nice to see a film that embraces softened sensuality other than explicit sexuality . 
perhaps that renovated release date , awfully close to valentine's day , will end up helping "" great expectations "" ' seemingly average box office chances after all . 
"
"1","seen december 28 , 1997 at 8 : 45 p . m . at the crossgates mall cinema 18 ( guilderland , ny ) , theater #8 , with matt perreault and my sister jena for free ( matt paid using pre-paid passes ) . 
if there's ever been an exception to the perils of excessive cliches and non- stop action , the james bond films are it . 
and if there's ever been a james bond film that not only proves this , but does so by pushing it to the extreme , "" tomorrow never dies "" is it . 
opening sequences almost always make or break action films . 
when done properly , not only are they actually exciting , but they foreshadow things to come . 
this film starts off on the right foot by establishing the kind of atmosphere that could only be found in an action movie , but with a sense of the self-aware , enclosed universe where james bond movies take place in . 
first there's a high-tech , slightly complicated scene involving a british warship crossing into unfriendly , chinese waters . 
there's definite tension as there seems to be an unknown , but certainly hostile , third party involved who is manipulating both sides . 
when the scene ends in tragedy , it's clear there's some kind of powerful conspiracy going on , and who else to call on for such a case but james bond ? 
the film uses good judgment in the way it introduces us to bond ( brosnon ) . 
as the enemy was portrayed as evil and mysterious , bond is clearly ( and obviously ) depicted as an out-and-out hero . 
he single-handedly takes out a small army of terrorists , and then must escape in the nick of time by flying away in a fighter jet while the co-pilot tries to strangle him and a terrorist in another jet tries to shoot him down ! 
this might sound like the kind of cliches films like this are notorious for ( over- ) using , but it works here because the film knows how to get our attention quickly . 
it's not about the payoff because it's obvious bond will escape , instead , it's the way it processes the action sequences by going over the top and not apologizing for it , all the while creating for witty , hysterical comedy . 
it seems less emphasis is placed on the villains in thrillers anymore , because of political correctness , and just plain copping-out on behalf of the filmmakers ( even the term "" villain "" sounds passe ) . 
what the film deserves kudos for is its ability to create a villain as heinous as they come , yet making him seem completely plausible . 
jonathon pryce delivers a perfect performance as the arrogant , cunning elliot carver , a media mogul whose goal is to take over the world , that is , through his massive media empire , not through nuclear weapons . 
through some interesting detective work , bond and the english ministry of defense believe carver is behind the trouble brewing in the southern asian seas as a way to create and accurately cover his own news . 
not only is that an original idea for a conflict , but one which could carry over into reality . 
surprisingly , this is about as detailed as the story allows the specific plot to become . 
the film's hook is the action , and of course those cool gadgets and we get plenty of that here as bond goes out to investigate carver and finds himself in a jam or two along the way . 
the story works much like bond himself - always on the run and concentrates more on the individual conflicts than any general plot . 
somehow a chinese agent , wai lin ( yeoh ) , bumps into bond a few too many times and they find themselves working together . 
the chemistry between brosnon and yeoh is rigid , but also works because of this , not in spite of it . 
the two are constantly on the run from carver and his goons , yet the film manages to balance the stunts and special effects with its clever story . 
although "" tomorrow never dies "" is far from perfect , it is quite an impressive film in terms of its ability to be so cliche and cartoony and not make plausibility an issue . 
"
"1","james jones , one of the major novelists from the middle of the twentieth century , has written a number of fictional works about the effects of war on the individual . 
a veteran of world war ii , and a witness to the pearl harbor bombings , his novels are not only grounded in realism but poetic in nature . 
they are reminiscent of stephen crane in their blunt eloquence , a trait which lends itself to razor-sharp focus . 
but perhaps none matches the scope of his autobiographical novel , the thin red line ; now a cinematic masterpiece from director terrence malick . 
the book's principal cast , some thirty characters , has been trimmed down for this rendition , but it still retains its most endearing value . 
each of the roles has an everyman quality , emphasizing jones' examination of world war ii on the american soldier . 
there's a definitive chain of command present , and this also plays on the motivations of the cast . 
but most importantly , and perhaps intrinsic to the novel but not to the movie , a dynamic and effective voice-over is used . 
malick has several characters relating their thoughts , giving the viewer a greater perspective of the issues at stake . 
the issues at stake are many and one . 
told from a limited third-person perspective ( as opposed to a top-down , omniscient view ) , the movie entails the struggle of an american infantry company ( "" c-for-charlie "" ) to take a hill during the conflict at guadalcanal . 
the south pacific island is seen by the top brass as the key position for american armed forces to hold if they want to win the war . 
and want to win the war they do . 
in an excellent performance , nick nolte plays c-for-charlie's commanding officer , lt . col . gordon tall . 
he's an aging soldier who embodies the win-at-all-costs mentality , if only to impress his superior ( john travolta , in a questionable cameo ) . 
this philosophy is opposite that of captain bugger staros ( elias koteas ) , who dearly values the life of each and every one of the men under his command . 
at the front are the privates and corporals ( adrien brody , james caviezel , ben chaplin , et al ) , lead by 1st sgt . 
welsh ( sean penn ) , who must actually execute the suicide orders handed down to them . 
the thin red line is filled with intense , visual poetry , but it's nearly three hours long . 
although the interest level is high throughout the first two hours , the climax comes forty-five minutes before the end of the movie ; it goes without saying that the movie drags on the back end . 
the thin red line will doubtless be compared to 1998's other masterpiece of war , saving private ryan a countless number of times . 
but to do so is to belittle both films , for although similarities abound , so do differences . 
director malick has a story to tell , and for those interested in listening , this can be a very outstanding movie . 
"
"1","an energetic , visually stunning , but intellectually hollow recreation of the mysterious life of jeanne d'arc . 
in history jeanne d'arc is lost in an ocean of mystery and controversy , which creates the perfect launching pad for talented and creative directors , who can basically alter the story as they wish . 
she came in a time where people desperately needed a saint . 
a hero that could rescue them for misery and deliver peace and happiness . 
director/writer luc besson ( 'nikita' , 'leon' ) portrays his version of the peasant girl who commanded the armies of france and was burned at the stake for witchcraft . 
besson tries to recreate the person behind the legend . 
he tries not to show her as a saint or a villain . 
he shows her as a human being . 
in a time where blood was almost pouring from the sky , and the air smelled of rotten flesh , it is hard to keep your sanity . 
the only support and hope is in god . 
at the age of 13 , jeanne ( milla jovovich ) watches her own sister murdered and raped by the english soldiers . 
this terrible event makes a lasting impact on jeanne's mind . 
god is no longer her support . 
he has become her obsession . 
she starts seeing visions and signs that command her to raise an army and free france from the siege of the english tyranny . 
with the help of the wise yolande d'aragon ( faye dunaway ) and charles vii ( john malcovich ) , whose grand royal ambitions and life are at stake , jeanne raises an army and marches towards the english walls . 
after this the film stays mostly on the battlefield , where besson demonstrates his ability to direct amazing action sequences , only occasionally resorting to a calmer tempo . 
the movie is filled with dreamy , symbolic images of pure artistic craftsmanship , that create a surreal and occasionally paranoiac atmosphere . 
the film is lost in time and space , hysterically jumping back and forth in jeanne's thoughts , imagination and conscience . 
besson's visual style permits the audience to enter the medieval age , feel the smell of fresh blood and the adrenaline pumping in your body in the heat of battle . 
but the film is far from being flawless . 
the script needs a lot of polishing . 
except for jeanne , there are no real characters . 
and although a grand star cast is assembled , their characters are nothing more than props , not more alive than the costumes that they are wearing . 
as for the maiden of lorraine herself , she is portrayed as a simple girl , too small for her divine task . 
in the latter part of the film , we see her as hysterical , confused and on the brink of madness , with her past purity and innocence for ever lost . 
jovovich handles the part with more panache than one might expect . 
but though her screen time is incredible excessive , both malcovich ( 'being john malcovich' ) and dunaway ( 'titus' ) surpass her rather overacted and simply unprofessional performance . 
and even hoffman manages to breathe some life into his dreadfully small part . 
besides casting jovovich , besson's only mistake is his extreme sense of patriotism that in the end ruins his so gloriously crafted painting . 
there are some viscously evil englishmen that murder , pillage and betray with a smile on their faces . 
and some incredibly brave and noble frenchmen , represented by the "" three musketeers "" of this story -- the brave gilles de rais ( vincent cassel ) , the wise aulon ( desmond harrington ) and the strong la hire ( richard ridings ) . 
though all those actor perform well , their characters are nothing more than symbols -- banners that proclaim the glory of france . 
and thus , there is no sense of realism in this film . 
'the messenger' has muscles instead of brains . 
there is some relief in the end , where besson lays down his armor and starts thinking . 
dustin hoffman's appearance helps and the film ends elegantly and surprisingly effective with a climax worthy of praise . 
jeanne's character is unlocked , but whether god was in the picture or not , is never quite explained . 
was she a confused peasant girl driven by her own hunger for revenge ? 
or was she truly a messenger of god ? 
the film poses as many questions as answers and nothing is completely obvious . 
bess o messenger' is nothing more than a fairly good film . 
it is not much that you remember of it after you leave the theater . 
maybe the sound , the dreamy sequences , but certainly not the dialogue . 
it is an elegant and adrenaline pumping history lesson for the mtv-generation , that although presents some interesting material , works better when it's on the battlefield . 
"
"1","i'm not quite sure what to say about mars attacks ! , which is obviously the work of a deranged genius . 
when tim burton's twisted alien invasion comedy really works , it's breathtaking and hilarious in equal measure . 
and when it doesn't work , it's just dull . 
i'm not even sure it works more often than it doesn't , but where it counts -- that is , when this gleefully evil invading force from the red planet gets down to the business of blasting us to kingdom come -- mars attacks ! 
is brilliant . 
mars attacks ! 
is based on a rather unsavory series of trading cards released by topps in the 1950s , and it takes its cues from the same sources as this summer's independence day -- old alien invasion flicks , disaster movies , and big-budget special effects extravaganzas . 
but unlike independence day , which was a painfully middle-of-the-road appeal to the hearts , minds and wallets of america , mars attacks ! 
has a fully developed and very personal sense of wonder about it . 
the big difference is that while independence day celebrated the resilience of human beings , mars attacks ! 
portrays us as the greedy and hapless schmucks that we are . 
the title sequence is just splendid -- an incredible swarm of flying saucers rises out of the canals of the red planet and then storms earthward through the solar system in formation . 
the spinning metal saucers are dead ringers for the invading forces of movies past , and their first appearance on the big screen in combination with danny elfman's thundering , theremin-driven score is absolutely jaw-dropping . 
it's so overwhelming that , i swear to you , i had trouble breathing . 
the movie lays low for the next 40 minutes . 
we get a glimpse of the alien leader , resplendent in a purple-sequined cape , when a television message is broadcast to the people of the world -- naturally , the only way to communicate with earthlings is to preempt our regularly scheduled programming . 
but mostly , the first act is spent developing characters , setting up mildly comic situations , and drawing a quirky but dishearteningly drab picture of america according to tim burton . 
it's a good thing that the most compelling personality in the movie belongs to the aliens , because burton's just not interested in making more than caricatures out of his human stars . 
anyone who comes to mars attacks ! 
expecting to see a lot of one favorite actor is bound to be disappointed -- with few exceptions , these characters are dispatched as the film progresses . 
jack nicholson is a lot of fun as the president of the united states but fizzles as a sleazy las vegas hotel developer . rod steiger does an amusing enough take on dr . strangelove's buck turgidson , glenn close brings some star power to the role of the first lady , and martin short is a presidential aide who meets the martians in the white house's "" kennedy room , "" a secluded nook where he unwittingly tries to seduce an alien dressed up as a big-haired , pointy-breasted sexpot ( lisa marie , the burton flame who played vampira in ed wood ) -- in an earlier scene , it's made clear that the aliens studied human sexuality in the pages of an old issue of playboy . 
sarah jessica parker hosts her own tv show and michael j . fox is her newsman husband . 
the octogenarian sylvia sidney has a funny part as the old woman who cackles , "" they blew up congress ! "" 
and plays a decisive role in the defeat of the alien menace . 
jim brown and tom jones are the film's vegas-based heroes , and director barbet schroeder ( reversal of fortune ) has a funny cameo as the unfortunate french president . 
also on hand and underutilized are annette bening , pierce brosnan , pam grier , lukas haas and natalie portman ( the latter two also show up in woody allen's everyone says i love you ) . 
the real stars , of course , are the computer-generated martians , and they're fantastic . 
with bare brains glistening atop their grinning skull-faces , round egg-eyes with red pupils darting this way and that , these animated invaders are malevolence incarnate -- joe dante's gremlins are the closest equivalent in recent memory , but burton's little monsters are more inventive . 
the film's raison d'etre are the scenes of crimes against mankind -- the most famous monuments of the world crumble under the alien assault , easter island is turned into a bowling alley , and the nasty little buggers perform hideous medical experiments on captured humans . 
the sheer level of mayhem is staggering , especially when the aliens make their first attack , blasting human beings into iridescent skeletons . 
parents are urged to pay special attention to the pg-13 rating -- it's earned . 
the special effects vary from charming to astonishing to deliciously cheesy , and at least a couple of shots of mass destruction seem to have been engineered specifically in response to independence day , although mars attacks ! 
was in production long before that film's release . 
cinematographer peter suschitzky , who makes the most of wynn thomas's wildly imaginative production design ( thomas helped define the spike lee style ) , actually took time off from his mars attacks ! 
regimen to shoot crash for david cronenberg . 
cronenberg's movie will almost certainly be more somber -- it won't be released in the u . s . until early next year -- but mars attacks ! 
is surely a similarly elegant nightmare . 
this is not a nice movie . 
 ( and which studio executive was duped into giving burton $70 million to make it ? ) 
by setting the film's final scenes in the nearly empty , holocaust-ravaged america that independence day conveniently avoided , burton's invasion epic suggests that the world we've got may not be worth saving until many of the people on it are dead . 
the victims of his invasion are naive , greedy , or disastrously self-absorbed -- and a good thing , too , since the movie's wicked charm is dependent on our ability to take this invasion partly as a wish-fulfillment fantasy . 
the surviving cast members are the innocents and the entertainers , who triumph by determining that the alien invaders -- the ultimate elitists -- are actually susceptible to the kitschiest strains of american pop culture . 
ultimately , this messy masterpiece is the year's funniest comedy and a weird , winking affirmation of the power of the people . 
"
"1","capsule : trippy , hyperspeed action machine from hong kong's accomplished tsui hark . 
van damme and rodman have nice chemistry , the stunts are eyepopping , and stuff gets blowed up real good ; what more do you want ? 
i admit i was all set to loathe double team ; it reeked of cheapjack timing-oriented marketing ( stick dennis rodman in a movie , quick , while he's hot , and do something about jean-claude van damme's flagging career while we're at it ! ) . 
surprise -- double team transcends its dumb roots and turns out to be a mess of fun . 
bring some friends , get some pretzels , and have a blast . 
van damme is jack quinn , an ex-agent who is brought back in for "" one last mission "" -- you'd think any spy worth his shoe phone would run like hell when he hears those words . 
but van damme's character has a pregnant wife who's also a sculptor , and some unpleasant pressure gets used to get him to come through on this mission . 
he's been assigned to take down an old enemy , a terrorist named stavros ( mickey rourke , looking oddly subdued ) , who may be back up to his old tricks . 
in the first showdown between quinn and stavros , the movie wears its ambitions proudly on its sleeve : nonstop action . 
an amusement park , a hospital , a private "" retired spy "" 's retreat , most of rome , various houses , planes , cars and other modes of transport , and the coliseum ( ! ) 
all become arenas for some of the most bone-rattling shoot-outs and punch-outs filmed . 
they are better seen than described and are reason enough to see the film : one jaw-dropping scene has van damme taking on a man who uses a switchblade with his * feet * . 
 ( van damme is a good , dextrous athlete and fighter , but he is often upstaged . ) 
there are other nice touches . 
stavros and quinn both want the same thing : to retire in peace with their families . 
that ambition ties them together in various ways , and also humanizes them a bit . 
one of the things about hk action movies is that there's always some form of human element , and that's carried over into this movie as well . 
it gives weight to scenes that would otherwise be forgettable . 
also good is dennis rodman , playing a weapons dealer named yaz -- a character who sticks out like a fistful of broken fingers and who is funny just standing there . 
rodman is natural on screen ; he's fun to watch , especially when slinging bad guys like basketballs , and deserves to get a movie of his own , based on what's seen here : a lightweight , fast-moving entertainment that showcases all of its pieces excellently . 
"
"1","the heartbreak kid ( reviewed on aug . 26th/1998 ) 
starring charles grodin , cybill sheppard , eddie albert 
in "" the heartbreak kid "" , charles grodin plays one of the most unbelievably obnoxious characters i've seen on screen in a long time . 
he's a guy who spends virtually the entire running time of the movie bullshitting his way from one situation to another . 
i doubt he ever expressed any genuine feeling at all during the film . 
as the film opens , he has just gotten married , and is on the way to miami beach for his honeymoon . 
halfway there , he begins to resent his bride . 
by the time he arrives at his hotel and has met the cybill sheppard character , he is ready to divorce his wife . 
as played by grodin , this character is the type of person that nothing will ever be good enough for him . 
the phrase "" the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence "" was practically written with him in mind . 
however , if he finds something he really wants , he will pursue it for as long as it takes . 
the only problem is , once he has it , he immediately loses interest . 
the end of "" the heartbreak kid "" is both hilarious and sad for that very reason . 
charles grodin is at his smarmy best here , and sheppard is quite appealing as the object of grodin's desire . 
however , the real scene stealer is jeannie berlin , daughter of director elaine may , as grodin's whiny bride . 
she owns every scene that she's in , and makes you almost want to root for what the grodin character is trying to do . 
 "" the heartbreak kid "" was written by neil simon and it shows . 
simon loves to deconstruct and analyze human relationships , and he's at the top of his game here . 
as maddeningly obnoxious as the grodin character is , he's the type of guy that everyone knows . 
the character of george costanza on "" seinfeld "" seems to have been modelled after him . 
the only problem with the film is that it's not that funny , and it's billed as a comedy . 
as much as i could see the realism in the characters , it would have been nice to have a chuckle here and there . 
 "" the heartbreak kid "" is not a date movie . 
it has an extremely negative view of relationships , so seeing it with a girlfriend/boyfriend , could be hazardus to your health . 
"
"1","it's a curious thing - i've found that when willis is not called on to carry the whole movie , he's much better and so is the movie . 
even though , in the sixth sense he is the "" name "" , he doesn't have the pivotal role . 
that honour goes to haley osment who plays cole sear ( cute pun , seer ) a 9 year old boy who can see ghosts . 
if osment was cute or precious , the director going for the maudlin , this would be nothing more than a movie-of-the-week , thankfully , osment is not only better than that , but in some instances , blows everyone else off the screen in a bravura performance . 
we get to see his fears , vulnerabilities , strengths and intelligence which makes the sixth sense one of the best movies i've seen this year . 
the whole cast matches him in quality , with willis giving a fairly low key performance that matches the subject matter . 
one thing about this movie , its target . 
this isn't a sfxfest like the haunting or a gorefest , this is more what i'd call a supernatural drama , more interested in characters than in dazzling you with makeup . 
one caveat : there's a lovely twist in the movie , something like the usual suspects , where you end up replaying the movie in your head rethinking what you have just seen . 
i was extremely lucky to see it as a sneak preview in toronto , before any hype or critical reviews were out , so i went in with no biases . 
if anyone want to talk to about the movie before you see it , don't let them . 
let the director explain on his own pace and you'll enjoy the movie vastly more . 
"
"1","i'll be the first to admit i didn't expect much from the emperor's new groove : more celine dion-esque song-and-dance numbers , cuddly characters that become cross-promotion devices in mcdonald's happy meals , and hollywood stars trying to gain credibility by adding a voice-over job to their resume . 
i was dead wrong about all of those things . 
the emperor's new groove is funny . 
damn funny . 
and the cute characters in the film are the dangerous ones . 
the script is fast and furious , with no singing and dancing . 
the animation is clean and would give walt a warm feeling all over . 
the humor is dry and aimed at both the cynicism and the goodness in all of us . 
the story is ridiculously weird and comes off as a strange acid trip involving talking , cross-dressing llamas and schizophrenia . 
here's the plot ; try to follow along . 
set in a mythical kingdom , the film follows the adventures of kuzco ( david spade ) , an arrogant and egocentric emperor . 
when kuzco fires his power-hungry advisor , yzma ( eartha kitt ) , she and her "" assistant "" kronk ( seinfeld's patrick warburton ) change him into a llama . 
kuzco then gets stranded in the jungle and must rely on pacha ( john goodman ) , a llama-herder whose home was to be replaced by kuzco's water world theme park , to save him . 
then the fun starts . 
for the next sixty minutes , the audience is treated to something unheard of in disney films these days : imagination . 
yzma , voiced by the talented singer eartha kitt , looks like a cross between norma desmond , joan crawford , and a really old vegas showgirl . 
the dialogue between her and her oblivious assistant kronk is quick , sharp , and feels like an episode of seinfeld ( which would make sense ) . 
david spade and john goodman's character interactions make you feel like you're watching an old hope/crosby film . 
spade is beyond dry with his humor and shoots below the belt on several occasions , and i laughed out loud several times . 
needless to say , that is an extremely rare thing in disney screenings these days . 
the best part about the emperor's new groove is how audacious the film is . 
the sheer weirdness factor is very high . 
cross-dressing , schizophrenia , duality of soul , people being turned into every animal on noah's boat , llama cpr , homoerotic tendencies , an emperor with his own theme song and singer , michael jackson dance moves , and a guy that can communicate with a squirrel are only a few of the oddities that make the film a true orginal . 
simply put , the emperor's new groove is one of the best children's films out for this holiday season . 
kids will enjoy the adventures , and parents will enjoy the story and dialogue . 
that's a tough thing to pull off in a single package , but this emperor manages to do it . 
"
"1","before even seeing a single frame of the film , it would be easy to snicker at deep impact , in which a comet on a collision course with earth threatens the existence of all life on the planet . 
it is the latest entry in this decade's dubious revival of the '70s disaster film , and the first of two "" the sky is falling "" flicks to hit screens this year ( the other being this coming july's armageddon , in which a meteor is the threat ) . 
its tagline , "" oceans rise . 
cities fall . 
hope survives "" is not as cornball as that of the utterly ridiculous collapsing tunnel thriller daylight ( "" they came in alone . . . the only way out . . . 
is together "" ) , but it's every bit as treacly . 
the opening moments of deep impact offer more to snicker at . 
the cheesiness is not confined to the disaster movie conventions , such as the usual opening "" roll call , "" in which all the major characters and their personal problems are introduced . 
the most prominent of the "" personal "" stories is that of ambitious tv news reporter jenny lerner ( tea leoni ) , who is distraught that her father ( maximilian schell ) left her mother ( vanessa redgrave ) for a younger woman ( rya kihlstedt ) . 
what is just as snicker-worthy is how this co-venture between paramount and dreamworks skg aggressively pushes another high-profile corporate collaboration , microsoft and nbc's cable news network msnbc , which employs jenny , who is the film's ostensible main character . 
in the vision of america presented here , msnbc is the television news source of choice in every home , when in reality it only reaches a fraction of the country . 
the initial signs point toward something along the lines of a volcano or dante's peak , but there's one thing about deep impact i underestimated : the skills of director mimi leder . 
she won an emmy for her helming work on nbc's smash er , which is essentially a weekly disaster movie , each episode featuring a new set of guest stars with their own personal and medical crises . 
the challenge presented by this format to the director is twofold : ( 1 ) to make the audience care for these guest characters , regardless of how briefly seen or thinly written they are , and ( 2 ) powerfully tug at the emotions without being heavy-handed or overly melodramatic . 
having passed the "" er challenge "" in numerous episodes and showed a flair for creating suspense in the peacemaker , leder could not be a better fit to bring michael tolkin and bruce joel rubin's rather formulaic disaster screenplay to screen . 
as the countdown to impact progresses , the ominous feeling of doom is palpable , leading the final act to take on a surprisingly convincing and affecting emotional dimension . 
there's nothing here that will profoundly move anyone , but the fact that anything manages to touch the heart is high achievement in a genre generally more concerned with effects . 
situations that initially feel contrived , such as jenny's familial crisis and the teenage romance between sarah hotchner ( leelee sobieski ) and comet discoverer leo biederman ( elijah wood ) , achieve some poignance ; and even the more vaguely drawn characters , including u . s . president tom beck ( morgan freeman ) , astronaut spurgeon "" fish "" tanner ( robert duvall ) , and his rather faceless crew ( ron eldard , jon favreau , mary mccormack , blair underwood , and alexander baluyev ) aboard the comet-bombing spacecraft messiah , have their share of touching moments . 
the latter fact owes a debt to the actors , who all do a solid job and are well-cast , with the possible exception of leoni ; she delivers a decent performance , but her trademark unconventional speech rhythms and line delivery make her somewhat hard to buy as a star news broadcaster . 
although its catastrophic theme and impressive special effects work ( the giant ocean waves are particularly spectacular ) place deep impact in the same category as the likes of twister , it is the first of the '90s disaster films to successfully marry the advanced film technology with emotions that ring true--a film that makes a genuine impact , even if it isn't as deep as hoped . 
"
"1","the heist of a flawless , 84 carat diamond , fixed bare knuckle fights , irish gypsies and a dog are just some of the goings on in director guy ritchies's sophomore feature , "" snatch . "" 
 "" lock , stock and two smoking barrels "" intro'd helmer/scripter ritchie with a hyper-kinetic , in your face underworld comedy that grabbed the viewer's attention from beginning to end . 
his protagonists were innocents set adrift in a see of sharks to swim or be eaten alive . 
with "" snatch , "" the director doesn't remake his first work , but he does delve more deeply into the criminal underbelly of london , mining a rich collection of characters in the process . 
>from the very beginning , "" snatch "" tosses you into the action with the theft of the fabulous diamond , the desire of new york gangster avi ( dennis farina ) . 
en route from antwerp , diamond thief and courier frankie four fingers ( benicio del toro ) stops in london to make a separate deal with avi's partner and cousin , doug "" the head "" ( mike reid ) . 
frankie's addiction to gambling tempts him into making a bet on an illegal boxing match for boris "" the blade "" ( rade sherbedgia ) , a ruthless russian mobster . 
the bet turns out to be a setup for a robbery by a trio of bumbling incompetents - vinnie ( robbie gee ) , sol ( lennie james ) and portly tyrone ( ade ) - that goes miserably awry . 
meanwhile , a couple of young toughs , turkish ( jason stratham ) and tommy ( stephen graham ) , are trying to break in to the boxing game with the help of local villain brick top ( alan ford ) , who also owns a pig farm . 
when their first fighter is put out of action , with one punch , by a wild irish gypsy named mickey o'neil , they figure to put the loose canon in as the contender in a fixed fight . 
mickey proves less than reliable and goes against turkish and tommy's deal . 
brick top , impressed by mickey's performance , decides to gives them another chance - after calmly explaining that it takes 16 pigs about eight minutes to completely devour a corpse . 
when avi doesn't get his precious rock , he jumps on a plane for london and hires a local legend , "" bullet tooth "" tony ( vinnie jones ) , to find frankie and the diamond . 
things spiral out of control as all these forces head on a collision course of double-cross and double-deals - and a dog that ate a squeaky toy . 
guy ritchie ( mr . madonna to some ) is an extraordinarily talented auteur who has a wonderful knack for pulling together his unique collection of cast and crew and feeding them funny and gritty dialog that spews out of the characters' mouths like machine gun fire . 
the helmer marshals his large ensemble actors in a frantically paced caper comedy that makes you laugh and feel queasy at the same time , the above description by brick top being just one example . 
the assemblage of actors and non-actors in rough-and-tumble settings gives "" snatch "" an earthy feel in its depiction of london's criminal underworld . 
the cast of characters is too large to credit here , but two of the performances - first among equals , you might say - are worth noting . 
alan ford is brilliant as the ruthless , evil brick top . 
when he refuses sugar in his tea because "" i'm sweet enough , "" it makes you shiver , even as you laugh . 
his is one of the best gangster characters i've seen in years . 
the other outstanding perf is given by none other than brad pitt , the name actor the movie's popularity may hang upon , at least initially . 
pitt , as mickey o'neil , is hard drinking , hard fighting , highly unreliable and nearly incomprehensible with a unique irish brogue and dialect of the pikers , the irish travelers of europe . 
this gypsy brigand would steal the fillings from your teeth , especially if it would benefit his beloved mum ( sorcha cusack ) . 
when brick top threaten the safety of mickey's family , he makes an enemy that cannot be stopped . 
pitt puts a credible spin on his character and does some incredible physical stuff , too , as a bare-knuckle boxer . 
the production team behind the camera includes ritchie alumni , producer matthew vaughn and lenser tim maurice-jones , and other talented technical artist that bring the hyperactive imagination of the author to visual life . 
there is a patent feel to the look of "" snatch "" and "" lock , stock and two smoking barrels "" that reeks of "" signature "" for ritchie , but i'm not sure how this will translate in his future works . 
there is so much talent in the filmmaker that i would like to see him branch out in other directions . 
nonetheless , "" snatch "" is terrific sophomore effort , a darn good action comedy and a hoot to boot . 
i give it a b+ . 
"
"1","tbwp is probably the single most profitable film ever . 
not surprising , considering its tiny us$100 , 000 budget , to date it has earned in excess of us$130 million . 
that's a shocking 100 times profit ! 
rumours have it that a smart internet `marketing' ploy was so successful in gaining cult-like fanatics , by word of mouth coupled with strings of excellent reviews , the film just exploded in the box-office , raking in millions on its opening weekend . 
shot in 16mm and video ( i suspect . ) , the film chronicles the forays of 3 students who go in search for the legendary blair witch . 
audiences are put in the first-person perspective in the entire mis-adventure , often wobbly and blurry at times , it takes a bit of getting used to in the beginning . 
this is supposed to be the material they discovered in the woods where the 3 disappeared ; edited and put onto the screen for the benefit of our audiences . 
tbwp is simply smart . 
filmed to look as if it was really a stock-shoot by a bunch of students in search of the blair witch as a school project , one may suspect ( like yours truly ) that its simply a lazy but smart approach to film-making . 
simply amazing in that respect , i must say . 
talk about impact , oh yes , tbwp does have quite a bit , in fact most audience will find it deeply disturbing . 
i did , especially the last bit but i'm not revealing more . 
you have to see it for yourself . 
i can't help but feel a tad cheated after knowing how commercially successful this film has become . 
could it be that finally , an indie-film has unwittingly found a formula for commercial appeal ? 
or was it all simply a ploy by the big players right from the beginning ? 
well , i guess the fact stays ; tbwp is highly original , clever and will most definitely leave most with something dreadful to talk and think about for weeks prior to watching this film . 
no gore , no special effects , i just can't get over how terribly smart this film is ! 
"
"1","i am starting to write this review before going to see strawberry and chocolate , cuba's oscar nominee for best foreign film , directed by tomas gutierrez alea ( who also directed the sometimes and in some circles critically acclaimed memorias del subdesarrollo-- "" memories of underdevelopment "" . 
i saw memorias as part of a cuban cinema class back in the late '70s ; it merged the politics of the cuban revolution with mundane elements of the human condition . 
i knew then that memorias was probably a state-sanctioned political missive , and now expect strawberry will follow suit . 
fellow internetters , primarily in the newsgroup dedicated to cuba ( soc . culture . cuba ) , have mentioned that strawberry is a harsh criticism of the revolution and its current state of affairs . 
i have jumped to the conclusion that strawberry is nothing more than a veiled attempt at espousing the party line--it probably looks like political criticism , but it ain't so . 
having some first hand and extensive anecdotal knowledge of castro's repressiveness , i can't conceive of his tolerating honest and adversarial criticism of the revolution , and i can't imagine his letting anyone even suggest his failure as a leader of a failed movement . 
as kids say these days , duh ! , the revolution's current state needs no criticism ; its physical and spiritual crumbling is self evident . 
the proper questions to put relate to castro's legitimacy . 
i bet the film takes castro's power for granted , and that this or any other movie , produced under cuba's state control , cannot question his right to run cuba's political show ( ongoing now for more than 36 years ) . 
that's why i just can't believe strawberry is an honest criticism of the regime . 
let's see what happens after the room goes dark and the screen lights up . 
i saw the film--twice . 
i was right ; castro remained intact . 
strawberry negotiates the relationship between a young "" dialectic materialist , "" as he describes himself , and a homosexual photographer ( diego ) in 1979 cuba . 
the young man ( david ) is the son of peasants ; a symbol of the revolution's reason for being . 
grateful to the revolution for the opportunity to receive a university education , he studies political science instead of literature , his avocation , because he perceives it is his duty . 
therein lies a likely unintended irony , since cuba has no need for political theoreticians . 
cuba's government is castro . 
diego's lifestyle is the antithesis of revolutionary life . 
he enjoys the finer things--tea , opera , art . 
he does not do "" voluntary work "" for the revolution . 
his small apartment is a sensual oasis . 
the moniker "" bourgeois "" figuratively hangs over his head during the early parts of the movie . 
however , he is a "" revolucionario "" in his own way . 
the supporting roles are filled by : an aging busybody with a heart of gold and a troubled psyche ; david's roommate , who rally takes the communist party line to its expected extreme ; david's ex-girlfriend , who dumped him for another guy , yet wants to bed him before she leaves for italy with her husband ; german , a gay sculptor whose work diego is attempting to exhibit , and who strikes a faustian pact with the government . 
gutierrez alea and co-director juan carlos tabio do a fine job at almost showing that homosexuals can be revolutionaries too . 
heck , towards the end of the film you begin to think the guy deserves a medal for his patriotic fervor . 
he really loves the revolution ( as supposedly does everybody else in cuba ) and wants to make it better by exposing and correcting some of its flaws . 
real criticism is missing though . 
this movie is political window dressing . 
luis aguilar leon's op . 
ed . 
piece on fresa in the miami herald ( 10 march 1995 , at 21a ) did not color my judgment ; it presaged my intuition . 
aguilar leon expressed my sentiment about this film's political angle best : like many artistic manifestations in cuba , strawberry and chocolate sprang from a totally manipulated environment . 
as art critic ivan de la nuez well states in the latest issue of the magazine postmodern notes , the silenced artists are those who refuse to accept "" the charade in which artists can provoke up to a point , while the institutions legitimize themselves by forbidding them to go beyond that point . "" 
although terrible propaganda , this is otherwise a fine film . 
"
"1","capsule : this is a 1950s or 1960s style heist film , set in the present . 
robert deniro stars as a risk-adverse safecracker who wants to retire form crime but takes one last job at the request of a personal friend ( played by marlon brando ) . 
edward norton plays a hotshot young sharpster who is also in on the crime . 
the plot is mostly straightforward suspense with little nonsense . 
 , +2 ( -4 to +4 ) 
i am sure i must have seen almost the identical plot before . 
this is a heist film made for an adult audience who probably wanted a crime film like they had seen in theaters when they were teens . 
there are no superhuman acrobats taking nosedives off of buildings like in entrapment . 
there is no rock score . 
there are no ballet- like martial arts . 
this is just a basic heist film with a decent and distinctly credible and un-flashy script . 
nick ( played by robert deniro ) is a safecracker who has managed to be successful by never taking risks . 
if a job is not a safe bet ( pun intended ) , he backs out . 
sometimes even the safe bets turn out not to be so safe . 
when one job very nearly goes wrong nick is unnerved enough to decide that it is nature telling him that it is time to get out of the game . 
he returns to his home in montreal where he owns a jazz club , and decides to manage it full time . 
he proposes to his girl friend diane ( angela bassett ) . 
she has one condition . 
he must stay retired from crime . 
but before the deal can be cemented , max , a montreal kingpin and personal friend , has one last supposedly easy job for nick . 
nick wants no part particularly because the heist will be right in his hometown of montreal . 
more and more details seem to complicate the job . 
nick's partner in the crime is to be a smart , but uncontrollable young crook , jack ( edward norton ) . 
jack treats a locked front door like a welcome mat , even at his associates' homes . 
the young crook is a know-it-all who seems good at everything he does but at avoiding rubbing people the wrong way . 
together they plan to steal a priceless historic artifact from the montreal customs house . 
the script by kario salem , lem dobbs , and scott marshall smith works like an episode of the old "" mission impossible "" television series . 
we see pieces of the heist being put together , last minute changes , and things that go wrong , much like a good episode of "" mission impossible . "" 
this team might not be bad choices to write scripts for the tom cruise "" mission impossible "" films . 
the complications are , however no more and no fewer than are needed to make the story believable . 
the telling is cold and noirish , which is just what it is supposed to be . 
director frank oz , the voices of yoda and miss piggy proves surprisingly good at directing a serious crime film . 
the score has a more than adequate cast with little flashy or scene-stealing acting . 
edward norton probably has the flashiest role and even that is low-key by today's standards . 
he plays what is nearly a double role . 
jack pretends to be a brain damage victim to be hired for a job in the customs house . 
one nice ( ? ) 
character i have not mentioned is stephen ( jamie harrold ) . 
stephen is a master hacker who lives in his mother's basement in a house with a lot of screaming in both directions . 
he seems like the last person the risk adverse nick would want to depend upon . 
the film itself remains low-key up until the time of the climactic heist . 
then the pace really picks up . 
before that the plot even stops twice for jazz interludes . 
though oz never lets the music steal time from the story the way woody allen does in sweet and lowdown . 
on the subject of music , the score of the score is by howard shore . 
it adds tension to the suspense scenes , but never seems to have much of a melody . 
angela bassett is the one misused celebrity in a totally minor role that should have been played by a less famous actress who needed a break . 
she has nothing to do in the film but demand that nick give up crime and to look like an attractive reward if he does . 
speaking of being attractive the score seems to be attracting an older audience who learned to appreciate much the same sort of film in the 1950s and 1960s . 
it does the job . 
i rate it a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a +2 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"1","don't let the following quirks of this review , fool you into believing that this movie is anything short of an ultimate labour of love . 
but one can see the humour of roberto benigni when you see that ? 
life is beautiful , even though i'm a short , ugly looking man with an obnoxious laugh . 
life is beautiful even though i haven't amounted to much in life , except working out the finer intricacies of waitering . 
i'm a lucky sort of a guy , especially when a beautiful woman strips away my venner of superficiality to find a new age , sensitive guy with the biggest heart in the entire world underneath - life is beautiful ! 
i'm a jew , but life can still be beautiful . 
the nazis put me in a concentration camp , but life is still beautiful . 
i love my son very much and that's what matters , and that's what makes life beautiful . 
my ability to entertain somehow convinces my son that living in a concentration camp is somewhat beautiful ? 
i get shot for my efforts and the woman i love , but hey that's life and that's still a beautiful thing - so by jove don't give me any crap about it ! 
by far the movie with the biggest heart this decade and well deserves every nomination and award that it has achieved . 
well done , there should be more film directors and actors like you roberto benigni . 
"
"1","getting it right is a far far cry from the teenage sex comedy you might expect from a summer movie about male virginity . 
the film was directed by randal kleiser , who brought us such bubble-gum classics as grease and the blue lagoon . 
but thanks to kleiser's surprisingly good direction and an intelligent script , getting it right is a pleasantly quiet , moving , and memorable film--one geared strictly toward a sophisticated , adult audience . 
getting it right stars jesse birdsall ( emily lloyd's boyfriend in wish you were here ) as gavin , a painfully shy 31-year-old hairdresser who lives at home with his parents and who--gasp--is still a virgin . 
gavin has no problem whatsoever making small talk with the elderly women who clamor for his services at the hair salon , but expose him to a single 30-year-old beauty and he's a mess . 
much to gavin's surprise , the woman who finally brings him out of his shell and robs him of his virginity is joan ( lynn redgrave ) , a rich , married , and lonely 45-year-old . 
getting it right is the simple story of gavin's awkward and haphazard efforts to get it right ; that is , to find the right woman to fulfill his life . 
getting it right is one of those rare movies that devotes itself entirely to in-depth character development . 
gavin's self-conscious voice-over narration of his experiences firmly thrusts us into his psyche . 
we observe his fascinating metamorphosis from shy and passive introversion to assertive and self-confident maturity . 
birdsall's superb , understated performance as gavin is the real backbone of the film ; he seems convincing and authentic throughout . 
the charm of getting it right also lies in the wide array of people who inhabit or invade gavin's life . 
despite her limited screen time , redgrave makes quite a splash in the movie as gavin's middle-aged seducer . 
for a supporting character , joan is unusually and impressively complex , thanks in large part to redgrave's magnificent performance . 
gavin is also pursued , or perhaps plagued , by minnie , the totally neurotic daughter of a rich aristocrat . 
after minnie and gavin meet at a party , she takes great pleasure in disrupting his safe and simple life . 
helena bonham carter is delightfully pathetic and kooky in the role , and sir john gielgud , with his tongue in his cheek , embodies the height of arrogance as her father . 
gavin's eventual love-interest is jenny , the adorable twenty-year-old single mother who assists him at the beauty salon ; london stage actress jane horrocks' fine performance yields a touchingly sweet character . 
peter cook , the great british satirist , appears briefly in the film as gavin's uptight employer . 
the scenes of gavin's home life with his parents are also a treat . 
gavin's over-protective mother ( pat heywood ) , whom even woody allen would find overbearing , almost steals the movie . 
her life seems limited to just two activities : treating gavin like a 10-year-old and preparing exotic but inedible meals , such as scalding hot curry and baked chicken with chocolate sauce . 
gavin and his father's attempts to avoid eating her meals are extremely amusing . 
getting it right , for the most part , is very well-crafted , except for two minor shortcomings . 
first , the movie is about 15 minutes too long , and consequently it loses momentum at times . 
second , the film includes an altogether extraneous subplot about the domestic problems between gavin's best friend , harry , and his unfaithful lover , winthrop . 
overall , however , getting it right is quite memorable for its humor , depth , sophistication , and outstanding acting . 
director kleiser and screenwriter elizabeth jane howard ( adapting her own highly acclaimed novel ) deserve praise for finding just the right tone for this tale of growth , maturation , and self-discovery . 
"
"1","no matter what you suspect , this isn't your usual action thriller . 
the usual suspects is an intelligent crime mystery story from up-and-coming director bryan singer . 
it's one of those movies that , after everything is revealed rapid-fire at the end , you immediately want to rewind and watch again because earlier scenes take on a new light . 
plot twists a-go-go are what you get here -- i gave up trying to figure out the mystery of keyser soze after awhile and just sat back and waited for them to reveal it to me . 
keyser soze is a name you'll hear at least a hundred times if you watch the usual suspects and for good reason . 
it's not only the name of the mysterious ( and possibly even mythical ) crime boss in the movie , it also sums up the movie -- "" keyser soze "" in latin means "" an intelligent crime mystery story from up-and-coming director bryan singer . "" 
or maybe i shouldn't have bought a foreign-language dictionary from the same company that makes those 99-cent encyclopedias sold in supermarkets . 
at the movie's opening , a group of known criminals are brought in for a police lineup , including mcmanus ( stephen baldwin ) , keaton ( gabriel byrne ) , fenster ( benicio del toro ) , buckney ( kevin pollack ) and verbal ( kevin spacey , winner of the best supporting actor academy award{symbol 153 \ f "" times new roman "" \ s 10 \ h} for his performance in the movie ) . 
verbal is so-named because he frequently rambles on about anything or nothing . 
he also earns his name as the movie's narrator , spouting memorable lines like "" the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist "" ( although , obviously , he does exist -- what else could explain kris kross having a comeback in 1996 ? ) while being interrogated by police detective chazz palminteri ( any actor with multiple z's in their name is okay in my book ) . 
we see the story unfold as spacey retells it . 
the five felons , upon being released from the lineup , get their revenge on the police by exposing a corrupt taxi service -- whereby elite criminals pay to be smuggled through town in cop cars -- and stealing all the money and drugs in the car . 
it's a definite case of male bonding for the five criminals , who later find out they were brought together by the unseen keyser soze , who sends a minion to them with an offer they can't refuse . 
namely , they have to destroy soze's main competitors in organized crime by infiltrating a ship , shooting a bunch of people , burning all the drugs and stealing $91 million cash . 
spacey does a terrific job of bringing his seemingly unintelligent "" cripple "" character to life and baldwin , byrne , palminteri and the rest make for a good supporting cast . 
the usual suspects is one of those movies that deftly mixes scenes of violence and explosions with an underlying sense of mystery and suspense , keeping the viewer guessing until the very end -- and then still leaving a few details open for scrutiny and discussion . 
i suppose all that would be cleared up if i really had rewound the movie and watched it again instead of changing the channel and wondering in disbelief what the hell kris kross was doing on mtv . 
a different mystery , i guess , which may turn into a _murder_ mystery if that video ever comes on again . . . 
"
"1"," "" dangerous beauty "" is a really nothing more than a grandiose soap opera set in venice circa 1583 . 
it is beautifully filmed , wonderfully acted , and certainly nothing short of entertaining , but it lacks any true fundamental seriousness . 
dealing with themes of forbidden love , religious intolerance , subordination of women , sexual freedom , and the roles of pleasure and sin in a high-cultured society , it still feels like brightly lit fluff . 
the director , marshall herskovitz , doesn't want to follow the dark and dangerous trail this story could lead down , so he opts for a more genial , livelier , and relatively shallow interpretation . 
the film takes place during the renaissance , a time when venice was the pleasure capital of europe . 
at this time , venice was its own republic , and it thrived on being the central juncture of east-west commerce . 
the film is told almost entirely through the viewpoint of the aristocracy and the bourgeoisie of venice , so we rarely get to see how the rest of the society lived . 
however , there is an abundance of detail concerning the lives and livelihoods of the upper classes , their hedonistic lifestyles and constant merriment . 
the story centers on veronica franco ( catherine mccormack ) , a lower class woman who falls in love with marco venier ( rufus sewell ) , the son of wealthy aristocratic parents ( jeroen krabb ? and joanna cassidy ) . 
unfortunately , the culture of that time period did not view marriage as an act of love -- rather , it was more like a business transaction , where rich families married their sons and daughters to each other in order to secure power , wealth , and ensure that outsiders couldn't get in . 
veronica , despite her charm and good looks , is certainly an outsider . 
after a short love affair , marco breaks her heart with the news that he cannot marry her . 
however , because she is beautiful and intelligent , veronica has a chance to enter marco's world , albeit not as his wife . 
she decides to become a courtesan -- a class of women who were as well-educated as they were ravishing , and sold their sexuality to wealthy men for the privilege of wining and dining with the elite . 
a courtesan was not a mere prostitute ; they were afforded a special place in society , and they were greatly revered , respected , and often envied . 
at one point , a character mentions that some rulers obtain more political advice from their courtesans than from their lieutenants . 
veronica goes through the transformation with the help of her mother , paola ( jacqueline bisset ) , who was once a famed courtesan herself . 
once she enters the lifestyle , veronica finds that it suits her quite well . 
she is allowed to read all the books she wants , she is given the opportunity to publish her poetry , and she has the richest and most powerful men in the republic throwing themselves at her feet , including the awestruck marco . 
their relationship develops into a playful bantering , with veronica utilizing her newfound power by constantly rejecting marco's advances . 
in many ways , their relationship is sad because marco is married to a women he is unable to love , and veronica is consumed by multiple relationships with men she is unwilling to love . 
 "" love the love , not the man , "" as her mother told her . 
 "" dangerous beauty , "" which was based on a factual book by margaret rosenthal , flows along as smoothly and serenely as the grand canal running through the heart of venice . 
it has multiple plot lines -- including veronica's adversarial relationship with a court poet ( oliver platt ) , her role in obtaining france's military assistance in venice's battle against the turks , and even the dreaded shadow of the plague and the encroachment of the spanish inquisition -- yet it is never confusing or overbearing . 
much of the film's success is due to the glowing performance by catherine mccormack in the lead role . 
known chiefly for the small part she played as the lover whose murder raised mel gibson's ire in "" braveheart "" ( 1995 ) , mccormack shows the true gifts and inarguable talent of a leading lady . 
she has the kind of exquisite classical beauty that would be treasured in a courtesan ; her character is intelligent , witty , and both sensual and vulnerable , all of which mccormack easily transmits with a single flash of her eyes . 
the rest of the roles are also filled well , including rufus sewell whose performance here and earlier this month in "" dark city "" have assured him a solid place in hollywood . 
he has the same kind of unusual good looks and charm of ray liotta , and he seems perfectly at home in period dramas . 
oliver platt plays a variation of the comic relief role that he has come to inhabit like a second skin , although the film deals his character a cheap blow at the end by having him improbably join the inquisition and turn into the bad guy . 
platt is a good actor , but he's just too hard to hate . 
jacqueline bisset proves that she is every bit as stirring as she ever was , and even fred ward turns up in a small , but moving performance as marco's uncle . 
 "" dangerous beauty "" is marshall herskovitz's sophomore directorial effort , after the overlooked 1993 film "" jack the bear . "" 
partnered with edward zwick , herskovitz has spent most of his time as a producer on television ( "" thirtysomething , "" "" my so-called life "" ) and in the movies ( "" legends of the fall "" ) . 
his directing style can be best described as transparent -- it never gets in the way of the story , yet it has no discernible flourish or particular distinctions . 
he could have approached the film in any number of ways , including overdosing on the sexual aspect , which he wisely avoids . 
 "" dangerous beauty "" contains just enough bare flesh and ribald sex to make it appropriately erotic , but not so much that it seems exploitative . 
herskovitz is also aided by a strong supporting crew , including the luscious photography by bojan bazelli , whose previous efforts include the highly-stylized thriller "" kalifornia "" ( 1993 ) and abel ferrara's dark sci-fi film "" body snatchers "" ( 1994 ) . 
bazelli captures the film in strong , bold colors , and be brings sixteenth-century venice to life in wide , panoramic shots that are often enhanced with digital imagery . 
however , the real details are found in the production design by norman garwood ( "" brazil , "" "" the princess bride "" ) and the costumes by gabriella pescucci ( "" the age of innocence "" ) . 
the only problem with "" dangerous beauty "" is that it doesn't stick with you . 
it's a good story well-told with interesting characters , but it's easy to shrug off once you've left the theater . 
the only sequence that has the chance to be truly indelible is veronica being pulled in front of the hypocrisy of the inquisition and threatened with the death penalty for her transgressions , but it never quite comes off because it's simply too melodramatic and conventional . 
herskovitz tries with all his might to make it a nailbiter , but somehow its outcome is a foregone conclusion , and like the rest of the film , it carries no real weight , despite the potential severity of the subject matter . 
"
"1","imagine this scenario : you and any of your family members are scudding through one of those long , excruciating cross-country car trips , far from the city and into the deserted rural routes . 
so far , the trip is idyllic when , abruptly , your car malfunctions and you are stranded in the middle of nowhere . 
it is not an easy situation , but a perfectly plausible one , the panorama in which breakdown musters it's throbbing suspense and skillfully executed tautness . 
it is not easy to cobble a distinct and gripping thriller nowadays , but breakdown doesn't bungle into rudimentary plot holes or cliches and it derives a masterful , titillating climax that by it's finale , engrosses a viewer with total absorption . 
the plot is somewhat reminiscent of 1988's the vanishing . 
kurt russell and kathleen quinlan respectively play jeff and amy taylor , a massachusetts couple en route to california for a brand new job . 
when they stop for gas somewhere in the arid southwest , jeff is confronted by a pugnacious driver , who later , will be an important player in the plot department . 
minutes later after that , their brand new , strikingly red , jeep grand cherokee unexpectedly stops . 
jeff cannot detect the car's problem , so he allows amy to take a ride with red ( j . 
t walsh ) , a heedful truck driver who will convey her to the nearest town , where jeff will meet her at a local diner . 
it is facile for the film to turn into a pseudo-suspenser , but instead it opts for maximum fervor . 
jeff manages to re-start the car himself , but when he arrives at the diner , she is nowhere in sight . 
disconcerted , the coffee shop's bartender informs jeff where to search for his wife , a town about twenty miles from here . 
there , trouble arises . 
and i shall not reveal anything else , since that would be spoiling the fun of what's head . 
there are many involving , tight scenes in breakdown but the final climactic period which includes a magnificent chase with three cars and a huge truck , will have you feeling as if your legs are made out of pure foam . 
it is a pleasure to be part of a classic confrontation of good vs evil , and rooting for the good guys , in this case jeff . 
kurt russell is one of the few top-notch hollywood actors which doesn't overblow his acting , and gradually gains reliance on his role as it progresses . 
so you can assume his alteration in breakdown is letter-perfect . 
suffice it is to say he undergoes a transformation , from a jolly man , to a guy frantically pursuing a loved one . 
not many well-paid actors can deliver these type of performances , but russell is one of them . 
as an everyday man , he pulls it off extremely convincingly , what also surprised me more was his rigorous physicality , which he effectively practices almost all throughout the films 93 minutes . 
although the film is blotted with a couple of portentous action sequences ( very well done ) yet the tightness is generated by the subtle circumstances this man is presented with . 
faced with an enigma about his wife's whereabouts , the movie succeeds by conveying us in realistic territory with veritable characters , including the cryptic villains , who in essence , make the movie what it is . 
what's most impressive however , is the feature debut by writer/director jonathan mostow . 
mostow , hitherto directed the showtime thriller flight of a black angle , alleviates the contrivances and generics of the script by gingerly pursuing the trajectory of the plot , efficiently letting the tone and the mood of the story generate that nail-biting suspense sought for in a well- made affair . 
contrary to most american thrillers , he doesn't rely on visual flair , but on aesthetics and substance . 
after breakdown , he should gain vast notoriety . 
the villains in the movie aren't your routine out-of-this-world idiosyncratic psychos that are harming for no particular objective . 
the baddies in breakdown , all well acted , are normal , seemingly inoffensive townspeople who beneath their trustworthy layer , conduct an amoral business of corruption and murder . 
the movie smartly portrays these men as loathsome rednecks , and , of all things in the world , it is becoming rather easy to root for villains ( jon voight in anaconda ) in today's movies . 
worth a special mentioning is j . t walsh ( who previously worked with kurt russell in executive decision ) as the leader of the gang , he renders a deliciously wicked performance , temporarily stepping out of the minor roles he is known for . 
alfred hitchcock used suspense--and action-- not only to stimulate , but as a way of aiding his audience's fascination in his stories , which were slowly realizing man's biggest fears . 
breakdown yields exactly that . 
it magnificently taps into the psyche of an ordinary man , acting like an ordinary man , looking like an ordinary and some sort of superhero . 
despite one or two iffy moments even hitchcock , i think , would approve of breakdown . 
 ( 1 : 33 ) 
"
"1","steve soderbergh's "" sex , lies , and videotape , "" which won the grand prize at the cannes film festival in 1989 , arguably began the resurgence of independent films . 
made on a shoestring budget of $1 . 2 million , with then relatively unknown actors , it is a provocative , thoroughly original drama . 
the film mostly focuses on the four central characters , all in their late 20's-early 30's . 
ann ( andie macdowell ) , an unfulfilled housewife , is married to john ( peter gallagher ) , an insensitive lawyer , who , unbeknownst to her , is having an affair with her younger sister , cynthia ( laura san giacomo ) . 
complicating matters even worse is graham ( james spader , who won best actor at cannes ) , john's old college buddy , who comes to stay at their house . 
ann is absolutely won over by him , even though she clearly has stated that she has very little interest in sex . 
that is the set-up for the last hour of the picture , and since the film is entitled , "" sex , lies , and videotape , "" it is best to keep the rest of the story developments at bay so that they will come as a genuine surprise . 
director steven soderbergh has proven to be a wildly offbeat filmmaker , ranging from the independent , to the mainstream ( 1998's "" out of sight "" ) , to the downright kafkaesque ( 1997's "" schizopolis "" ) . 
he is the type of director who obviously takes a lot of chances , and believes in the work that he does , and , "" sex , lies , and videotape , "" is probably his most confident , and maybe even best , to date . 
the performances are superb from all four leads , but macdowell stands out in what is probably the main character . 
she is always a very winning actress , but this is probably her most three-dimensional role that she has had ( with a close second being altman's 1993 mosaic , "" short cuts "" ) . 
the other parts are perfectly cast as well , from spader's ominous graham , to gallagher's self-involved john , to giacomo's outspoken cynthia . 
the final act of the film , especially , comes right out of left field , and turns out to be both shocking and oddly touching , and it would be criminal to give away the film's secrets . 
suffice to say that , through one powerful sequence , ann is able to somewhat come out of her shell , and john learns a valuable lesson about honesty , as well as deception . 
the film has one fault , however . 
the characters are almost all emotionally cold and isolated from one another , and often unlikable . 
if there had been a few extra scenes with gallagher , it probably would have helped , since his relationship with macdowell isn't quite as explored as i would have liked . 
 "" sex , lies , and videotape , "" although minorly flawed , is still easily a brave and adult motion picture that is far more mature and honest about its subject matter than the usual film . 
soderbergh clearly knew what he was doing while he was making it , and the final product certainly proves this . 
"
"1","synopsis : private detective tom welles is hired by a wealthy widow to uncover the origins of a snuff film owned by her late husband . 
after uncovering the authenticity of the film , welles descends into an underground world of perverse pornographers seeking vigilante revenge on the filmmakers . 
comments : 8 mm is one of the more disturbing mainstream movies i have seen in a long time . 
though it doesn't present a snuff film ( a movie which documents a person's murder for real , usually during or after some form of sexual act ) as explicitly as the cult classic mute witness and violence as shockingly as , say , natural born killers , 8 mm stays in your head long after you see it . 
it is not fun to watch ; see something else if you get upset by realistic , sadistic violence . 
this film's violence and perverse sexuality skirts closely into nc-17 territory . 
for those with strong stomachs , however , 8 mm is an intelligent , worthwhile thriller , especially during its second hour . 
nicolas cage , after a couple ho-hum movies , returns to material which allows him to utilize his strong acting abilities . 
as tom welles , a private detective and caring family man to a wife and newly-born daughter , cage skillfully and convincingly portrays a decent man whose unwavering energy slowly transforms into obssession and violence as he is pulled into a nightmarish world of underground pornographers and brutal sexual deviants . 
serving as a guide to this world is joaquin phoenix , who plays a struggling songwriter named max california . 
california , despite his name , is a surprisingly intelligent and complex character , and phoenix does a very good job at slowly pulling the audience to sympathy for the character . 
the real star of the movie , though , must be peter stormare . 
stormare played the "" really , really evil guy "" in fargo , and his character , dino velvet , in this movie seems about ten times more evil and unpredictable . 
his performance is very chilling . 
8 mm's success may hardly be surprising . 
it was directed by joel schumacher , who , hopefully , saw this film as an apology for the absolutely dreadful batman and robin . 
before directing the last two batman duds , however , schumacher was responsible for several well-made horror flicks : lost boys , flatliners , and falling down . 
8 mm certainly joins the rank of these minor classics and is perhaps most reminiscent of falling down in that both films present an average man who self-destructs before the audience's eyes . 
8 mm was written by andrew kevin walker , who also penned the academy award-winning thriller seven a few years back . 
like seven , 8 mm is full of dialogue which haunts you well after leaving the theater . 
welles is searching for answers . 
how could anyone possibly drug and then slowly , methodically , sadistically kill a teenaged girl to make a film ? 
when confronting one of the perpretrators at the end , the murderer responds that there are no reasons . 
he just enjoys it . 
that , walker seems to suggest , is where the real terror lays : not in the crime itself but in the fact that rational motives do not exist . 
a couple minor faults led me to my four-star rating ( five stars is the highest rating i give ) . 
one , i found it a little difficult , early on , to accept the fact that a hardened private detective would get physically disgusted when first seeing a snuff film . 
yes , snuff is a horrible thing , but a detective of welles' caliber has probably encountered awful things before . 
second , some of the clues welles gathers are too convenient . 
he discovers , for example , the victim's diary in her private bathroom , despite the fact the the police , the fbi , and her own mother have all investigated the room before . 
finally , the closing scene seemed trite and improbable considering the rest of the film . 
despite the above criticisms , 8 mm is an engrossing story . 
one of the best scenes in the film occurs toward the end as a crazed welles , who no longer seems like a hero , brutally beats one of the pornographers responsible for the snuff film . 
he pulls a gun on the man and , for a relatively long amount of time , struggles to decide whether or not to kill him . 
he then leaves the building and calls the victim's mother , in the middle of the night , to basically see if she would support the action . 
the entire scene is tense , unpredictable , and emotionally charged . 
rarely , anymore , do horror films or thrillers provoke suspense in me as 8 mm , with scenes like this , did . 
8 mm is most certainly not for the faint of heart . 
this is a graphic , oftentimes unflinching , look into the darkness which resides in both ordinary and extraordinary people . 
if you're prepared for a film of this nature , i give it an enthusiastic recommendation . 
"
"1","to me , nicolas cage sounds like an ideal choice for the lead role in a martin scorsese film . 
despite the rantings that sean penn so rudely expressed , the actor remains a gifted and versatile screen presence . 
ever since the big success of the action-thriller `face/off' in 1997 , the hollywood road has been a rocky one for mr . cage . 
the perpetually awful assassination thriller `snake eyes' was one of 1998's worst films . 
`8mm' was a disappointing lost cause . 
but who better than scorsese to match cage's wit and intensity , which he does in miraculous fashion with `bringing out the dead' . 
cage delivers one of his finest performances as frank pierce , a new york city emergency paramedic who is running on fumes from day-to-day . 
after five years of the stress-inducing job , frank basically just staggers onward , relying on heavy doses of caffeine and booze until his shift finally ends . 
he also begins seeing the ghosts of past patients who died under his care , namely a young girl named rose , who stares back at him with pale features at every street corner in new york . 
frank desperately wants to be fired , but his boss needs him to scour the city and help those in need ( `i'll fire you tomorrow . . . ' he promises ) . 
frank is accompanied by a fresh face every night in the ambulance . 
the first is larry ( john goodman ) , who always has food on the brain . 
the second is marcus ( ving rhames ) , a deeply religious black man who incorporates the power of jesus into a regular rescue operation . 
and finally , tom ( tom sizemore ) is a deranged sociopath hungry for blood . 
i found it unique how scorsese used each of these characters for a single shift with frank , but they never figured into the actual plot . 
each is merely a colorful presence to help develop frank's character , because `bringing out the dead' is predominantly a study of his mind and detailed personality . 
the one character alongside frank that truly comes into play is mary ( patricia arquette ) , the daughter of a newly admitted patient who suffered from a severe heart attack . 
arquette , who recently received the wounds of christ in `stigmata' , performs well around real-life husband cage . 
it's unfortunate that , after such intriguing character trials and tribulations , the relationship between frank and mary slips during a mishandled , ineffective finale . 
the movie belongs to the one-two punch of cage and scorsese , who were born to collaborate their efforts in an arrangement similar to `bringing out the dead' . 
although it certainly lacks the grit and hard-edge of something like `goodfellas' , scorsese manages to hit a nerve with his latest picture . 
the incredible camera-work and photography represent stunning flashes of brilliance in an otherwise unspectacular conglomeration . 
fans will be pleased to find the director has returned to his abrasive , darkly humorous roots after somewhat of a departure with 1997's `kundun' . 
does `bringing out the dead' rival scorsese's finest work ? 
only occasionally . 
some of the film feels surprisingly limp , but there is enough energy in it's interesting material and breathtaking visual appearance to suffice . 
those expecting a grisly , risqu ? product may be somewhat disheartened at the fairly straight-arrow approach - but it's still a solid , admirable effort . 
`bringing out the dead' was written by the acclaimed paul schrader , who collaborated with scorsese on such classics as `taxi driver' and `raging bull' . 
schrader's script is full of moments - wonderful , sharply defined moments - that are sorted throughout the remainder of his meandering screenplay . 
the exceptional aspects of the film are it's astounding technical credits and the amazing cast . 
goodman and sizemore are both electric ( well , mainly sizemore ) , but it's the phenomenal ving rhames who deserves a second look . 
watch the actor's deeply inspired dedication as he resurrects a gothic band member , and you'll understand why he won a golden globe . 
`bringing out the dead' is raw and electrifying often enough to mask it's certain flaws . 
scorsese - and cage , for that matter - have done better , but their intentions are certainly admirable . 
"
"1","at first glance , daylight would seem like your typical disaster movie . 
on second glance it looks that way too . 
although , as typical disaster movies go , daylight isn't that bad . 
admittedly , it seems to rip off a great deal of its plot devices from disaster flicks of days gone by ( think poseidon adventure ) . 
but the decent dialogue and surprisingly good acting make up for the "" haven't i seen this scene somewhere before ? "" 
feeling that creeps up all too often during the film . 
sylvester stallone stars as the recently fired head of new york's emergency response team . 
by sheer luck , he is in the right place at the right time when disaster strikes the unaware inhabitants of this little film . 
 "" what disaster is that ? "" 
you ask , as you inch ever closer to the edge of your seat . 
glad you asked . 
through a whole sequence of entirely probable events ( about as probable as hitting the lottery ) a large explosion takes place in the lincoln tunnel running under the hudson river in new york city . 
the explosion results in the tunnel collapsing at both ends , which causes not only massive loss of life , but traps a dozen people inside the wreckage of the tunnel . 
good old sly , who is only feet away from entering the tunnel when it collapses , offers his services to the rescuers , who gladly accept it . 
sly then enters the tunnel through a vent shaft ( think judge dredd ) which he can only go in , and not out off , and proceeds to try to rescue those trapped inside . 
so begins the fun , but the fun has to be quick , because this tunnel has started to spring a leak . 
the acting is about what you would expect of a stallone movie . 
not superb by any means , but far above some of his other films ( think judge dredd again ) . 
daylight's acting is probably average , or a little above , in terms of this sort of genre , starring this particular star . 
amy brenneman is the only actor of any note , and she does a pretty good job as stallone's reluctant helper . 
oh yeah , stallone's real life son , sage , is in this too . 
sage -- nice name . 
i guess it could be worse , he could have been named nutmeg or parsley . 
note to sage -- you are still young . 
go to school and get a good education -- you don't have a future in acting . 
the plot runs along the same lines as the acting -- interesting , but predictable . 
mostly due to the fact that it was pretty well recycled from a dozen other action flicks . 
the biggest problem with a film of this nature is that they try to cram too many things into the movie . 
as soon as the cast clears one seemingly impossible hurdle , another one seems to pop right up , even worse than the last one . 
i realize that it wouldn't be much of a movie otherwise , but it does make the movie a bit predictable . 
adding to the predictability is the cast of characters , which of course , has to include at least one or two difficult people who want to do things their own way and think the qualified guy ( in this case stallone ) doesn't know what he is doing . 
why is it in disaster movies we can never have everyone agree with each other and all work together ? 
would this be too much to ask ? 
can't we all just get along ? 
special effects weren't bad -- but i've certainly seen better . 
some of the scenes , while fun to watch , were such blatant rip-offs that you had to wonder if scripts from old movies were just copied verbatim . 
especially all of the scenes that involved anything underwater ( the tunnel , of course , starts to flood ) . 
i really expected gene hackman , roddy mcdowell and ernest borgnine to appear at any minute -- i wasn't sure if i was watching daylight or the poseidon adventure . 
i suppose if you have to rip off a movie for good ideas , the poseidon adventure is a good one to use . 
the underwater sequences ( aside from the deja vu ) were very well shot and worked fairly well . 
they were the best part of the movie by a long shot . 
better than average stallone flick . 
i realize that's not saying much when the man has judge dredd on his resume . 
but certainly not up to the standards of cliffhanger . 
daylight is a fun movie , and as long as you aren't expecting a whole lot you might even be pleasantly surprised . 
"
"1","after the simple looking little spacecraft lands in a automobile wrecking yard , out steps a steel-gray , human-like creature with aquamarine eyes and clad in a muscular suit . 
spencer , the boy who observes this , having seen his fill of science fiction flicks , figures this thing must be a robot from outer space . 
with the exception of disney and a few others , most studios view children's films as a way to ship a cheap and unimaginative product and thereby make a quick profit . 
star kid stands out as that rare kids' film that is undoubtedly low-budget but is also highly imaginative . 
remember , the robot ? 
it wasn't one at all but rather a "" phase one assault cyborsuit . "" 
the cyborsuit is actually a prototype combat enhancer developed by the trelkins and jettisoned for latter retrieval when they are under attack from the invading broodwarriors . 
the significant twist in the story is that spencer gets to go inside the cyborsuit , and the cyborsuit , nicknamed cy , has plenty of spunk . 
cy keeps questioning the kid about everything including words like "" cool . "" 
upon hearing that "" command , "" cy starts rapidly decreasing the temperature in the cyborsuit until spencer screams for him to stop . 
and when cy speaks , we see spencer's view , the backside of cy's lips and eyes . 
as 12-year-old spencer , joseph mazzello from the jurassic park film series gives a remarkably good performance as a wimpy and initially tongue-tied kid . 
even when enclosed in his powerful new cyborsuit , he has his fears but he learns to overcome them . 
 "" if you run away , things don't get better , whether it's bullies , spiders , or girls , "" his science teacher advises him after he has difficulties dealing with all three . 
turbo ( joey simmrin ) , the school's chubby bully , beats up on him , spiders frighten him , and , most embarrassing of all , he can't speak when in the presence of his would-be girlfriend . 
with his cyborsuit on , he learns some bravery that transcends his time inside cy . 
spencer lives with his dad and his older teenage sister stacey , played by a smart-mouthed ashlee levitch , who looks like a younger sarah jessica parker . 
stacey derides her brother , whom she barely tolerates , by referring to him only as "" the fungus . "" 
this whole setup for spencer's downtrodden and delightfully funny life makes his acquisition of some superhuman powers a source of mirth and empowerment . 
the beauty of mazzello's performance is that you can vicariously experience his fear and share in his enjoyment when he goes after the bully to teach him a lesson he'll not soon forget . 
the ensuing mayhem has some of the home alone antics , but the slapstick is kept tightly under control by writer and director manny coto so that one never feels embarrassed to be laughing . 
the romantic angle is handled ever so delicately . 
when cy wishes to know if spencer wants to mate with the object of his desire , michelle ( lauren eckstrom ) , his eyes open wide in revulsion . 
 "" mate with her ! "" 
spencer exclaims . 
 "" pllllleeeeease , i just like her that's all . "" 
the show has many funny twists . 
in one , cy sees a man in a barney-like costume and begins firing at him , thinking he is an alien life-form . 
soon things get way out of hand , and cy and spencer have to beat a hasty retreat . 
as proof positive of the show's class , it actually contains tasteful bathroom humor -- thought that was an oxymoron in a kids' picture , didn't you ? 
cy cannot allow spencer to leave the cyborsuit , and what happens when he needs to urinate becomes both sweet and hilarious . 
the director's staging of this sequence is one of the film's more charming moments . 
oh , and eating is pretty funny too . 
spencer , whose idol is the comic book character "" midknight warrior , "" gets to face the challenge of a lifetime when a broodwarrior comes to capture the cyborsuit . 
spencer's valiant battle gives him a chance to find his mettle . 
and the action sequences in the battle manage to be quite respectable for a kids' show full of inventiveness and lacking the usual repetition . 
for a family movie mixing humor , fantasy , and action , star kid delivers . 
although it's probably not the sort of movie you'd want to see without kids , with them you'll have a magical time with a relatively straightforward but well developed story . 
you'll be rooting for and laughing with spencer and his buddy cy all the way through . 
star kid runs 1 : 41 . 
it is rated pg for fantasy combat . 
although the basically cartoonish broodwarrior might scare the littlest kids , i saw none of this in evidence in our packed screening , so i would say the show is fine for kids five and up , and possibly the younger ones . 
my son jeffrey , age 8 , got really excited about the picture . 
he called it "" an especially good movie "" and gave it * * * * . 
when i asked him to tell me his favorite characters , he mentioned almost everyone in it from the boy to the cyborsuit to the bully . 
"
"1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
like its own opening shot , from out of the darkness boogie nights triumphantly explodes upon the film scene with stunning authority and clarity , persuasively heralding its helmer paul thomas anderson as a bonafide major talent . 
a sprawling epic set in the heart of the disco era and focused upon the ascension and decline of a troupe in the adult film industry , boogie nights is an astonishingly ambitious feature film which is completely effective both as an utterly entertaining joyride and as a strikingly impressive piece of filmmaking . 
the film follows a soft-spoken young man , eddie adams ( mark wahlberg ) from torrance , through his induction into the erotic picture business to stardom , and later , to a harrowingly precipitous drop . 
as boogie nights opens , he's toiling as a dishwasher in a trendy san fernando valley nightclub , and living at home under the thumb of a tyrannical mother who denigrates him at every opportunity . 
recruited by fatherly jack horner ( a rejuvenated burt reynolds ) , a successful porn filmmaker , eddie abandons his old life in favour of a new one as dirk diggler , pornstar . 
wholeheartedly embraced by jack's troupe , including the maternal amber waves ( julianne moore ) , reed rothchild ( john c . reilly ) , buck swope ( don cheadle ) , rollergirl ( heather graham ) , dirk and his "" one special thing "" are quickly propelled to the top of his field , fulfilling his mantra of being a "" big bright shining star "" . 
his lack of discipline , however , incites a chain of circumstances which sees dirk and his friends unravel as a new decade is ushered in . 
the element of boogie nights which literally commands attention is the bravura direction by mr . anderson , whose fascination and prowess with the camera is obvious . 
from the terrific tracking shot throughout a nightclub which opens the film and introduces the players through to the showy sequence in the camera follows a female partygoer diving into a pool , mr . anderson's accomplished command of the camera is without question . 
while novice directors often demonstrate an unfortunate lack of restraint in terms of flamboyant camerawork which ultimately proves to be aggravating , impertinent and self-congratulatory ( case in point : marc rocco's unforgettable perpetual-motion helming of murder in the first ) , in boogie nights every zoom or pan by mr . anderson , be it slow and deliberate or energetically sharp , is purposeful and potent . 
it's a rarity and a delight to discover such a confidently assured work so early in a filmmaker's career -- boogie nights is only his second feature film , following up his debut feature from earlier this year , hard eight -- and although it's somewhat derivative ( his storytelling style is reminiscent of robert altman , while in terms of visuals he's clearly influenced by martin scorsese ) , at least he's borrowing from some of the best , and it's entirely effective within the context of this film . 
while boogie nights is astonishingly polished from a technical perspective , in terms of sheer entertainment value it's also rollicking good fun , with a wickedly deadpan sense of humour . 
the film perfectly captures the essence of the disco period in terms of music , clothes , hairstyles , dance , idioms , and culture , aided immeasurably by impeccable production design by bob ziembicki and costume design by mark bridges , and boogie nights convincingly catapults the audience back to this recent , pre-aids-scare period in american history where uninhibited , free-wheeling lifestyles abounded . 
while much of the film's humour pertains to the characters' obliviousness of now-outdated aspects of their lives then prevalent in society -- a prime example is part-time salesman buck swope's demo of a stereo system with an eight-track tape , and inviting a prospective customer to get 'freaky deaky' with the music -- it's elicited with an undercurrent not of ridicule , but of wistful reminiscence , and some the throwback elements in the film are strangely wondrous . 
a giant ensemble disco dance production number in a nightclub is funny , to be sure , but oddly magical , and the sequence which lovingly explores eddie/dirk's bedroom , completely adorned with posters and elements of iconic 1970s figures ( farrah fawcett , cheryl tiegs , bruce lee ) is breathtaking . 
ably supported by a well-selected collection of period music ( all of which purportedly came straight from mr . anderson's personal collection ) , there's a clear affection for the era in boogie nights . 
it's the period aspect and the playfully comic nostaligism of boogie nights which has been played up in its marketing campaign in deference of the pornography element of the storyline ; the film's promotional trailer markedly avoids any explicit reference to the adult film industry which unites its characters . 
after the debacle with 1996's milos forman film , the people vs . 
larry flynt , another finely-crafted work which was knocked off the market prematurely due to controversy regarding its pornography-related storyline , the new line marketing team faced a unique challenge with boogie nights in terms of attempting to deemphasize the relatively risque erotic picture element of the story in order to increase salability to the general public . 
however , while boogie nights delves into the world of the adult film industry of two decades ago , it's hardly a lurid or seamy film -- given the subject matter , there's very little nudity , and virtually none of it can be construed as gratuitous -- and boogie nights smartly depicts erotic filmmaking not as a hotbed of carnality , but simply as a business . 
the glimpses on the sets of jack horner's shoots reveal that while the films he makes are intended to titillate , there's a candid matter-of-factness in terms of sex ; his cast and crew are professionals who are merely doing a job , and it's refreshing that the obvious cliches of depravity and sinful lechery often linked to dismissive portraits of adult filmmaking , such as coercion or debauchery , are avoided . 
if anything , boogie nights is more interested in the process of adult filmmaking than the adult films themselves . 
jack horner's dream is an honourable one -- he genuinely aspires to make a great film -- and to some degree boogie nights is reminiscent of ed wood ( albeit lacking a certain wistful innocence ) . 
in both films , the world of quickie low-budget filmmaking is explored , and both jack horner and the version of ed wood by tim burton , scott alexander , and larry karaszewski share similar mindsets -- jack's retort of "" there are shadows in light , baby "" to his cinematographer's complaint about poor set lighting echoes back to ed wood's "" it's not about the little details , it's about the big picture ! "" 
rant when it is pointed out that his graveyard set for plan 9 from outer space appears patently false . 
in boogie nights and ed wood , the aspirations of the respective filmmakers' prove to be bemusing , not in their intentions -- there's nothing inherently silly in the goal of making an 'artistic' erotic picture -- but in the degree that they miss the mark . 
much like the humour lacing ed wood , the laughs involving jack horner are double-edged ; after viewing a hilarious excerpt from one of his latest films which hybridizes the james bond and porn genres , when jack breathes "" this is the best work i've ever done "" , it's genuinely funny , but given his utter sincerity , also possesses a tinge of sadness . 
mr . anderson is at this point clearly a greater talent as a director than a screenwriter . 
while boogie nights shows great inventiveness in staging , there really isn't any clever dialogue in the film , though a valid point certainly can be made that none of the film's characters particularly lend themselves to thoughtful verbal exchanges ; when one considers that the film's * protagonist * literally doesn't say a single insightful thing throughout the entire 152 minute running time , it's no wonder why the playfully inane "" how much can you bench ? "" 
banter between dirk and reed constitutes one of the film's finest exchanges . 
and while mr . anderson creates a rich collection of fascinating characters , it's problematic that some of the the threads given to the film's characters are simply stale material -- julianne moore's child custody battle is fairly cliched stuff , better suited for a less risque and uninspired tv-movie version of her character's story , and far less interesting than the thread dealing with her woefully hackneyed filmmaking ambitions . 
still , even if he doesn't always know what to do with his characters , mr . anderson most definitely captures their essences , and his resolutely nonjudgemental affection for them is infectious -- misguided , even aimless , hopelessly naive , self-destructive , insufferable : i loved them just the same . 
in any case , it's hard to pick nits with a screenplay which contains one of the most audacious and inspired ( and ultimately best-executed ) scenes of the year : a scene where dirk diggler and reed rothchild are dragged along by their loose-cannon compadre to the home of drug baron rahad jackson ( a mesmerizing alfred molina in an unforgettable performance , even if it's a small one ) in a suicidal drug deal scam , only to find that the millionaire is a crazed eccentric ( the part where he stops the deal to listen to the crescendo of night ranger's "" sister christian "" on his stereo system is sheer brilliance ) flanked by an armed bodyguard . 
if this scene already wasn't tense enough with these elements , mr . anderson introduces a chinese boy that wanders through the scene , who for no discernable reason is tossing firecrackers around the room , pushing the scene to a new , surreal level of delightful giddiness . 
there are some other interesting touches in boogie nights . 
mr . anderson recycles the use of long methodical chimes on the soundtrack from hard eight ; here , it accompanies the violent intercut sequences which depict the prostration of various characters to frightening effect . 
similarly , a painful scene where crew member scotty j ( philip seymour hoffman ) breaks down in tears in the driver's seat , sobbing "" i'm so stupid "" after being rebuffed by dirk after an awkward but heartfelt advance is strikingly played out exactly as a later scene with dirk in the driver's seat after a particularly tumultuous and traumatic evening . 
boogie nights is exceedingly well cast , and each of the actors rise to the occasion ; the ensemble cast is uniformly good . 
while most of the acting accolades will no doubt go to mr . wahlberg ( fulfilling upon the sparks of promise he demonstrated in some of his earlier films ) and mr . reynolds ( terrific as the father figure and stable anchor of the film , ringing true in every respect ) , a handful of other performances which might otherwise be overlooked deem mention . 
mr . reilly demonstrates here , as he did for brief glimpses in ulu grosbard's georgia , a genuine aptitude for comedy -- many of his scenes in boogie nights are among the very funniest in the film . 
i'm not sure how much of his performance as reed was scripted and how much was done on the spot , but he plays the quintessential second banana character to a tee . 
mr . reilly is the best part of the big disco dance production number , and it's wickedly funny to watch his reed join in with dirk after the fact in threatening the new stud on the block during a macho altercation . 
worth the price of admission alone is the glimpse of him getting down in the recording studio while the dirk character is laying down a numbingly bad ( and dead-on period ; it sure sounds like bad early 1980s to me ) demo track "" you got the touch "" in a vain attempt at a musical career . 
mr . reilly plays his vacant character with utter conviction which is convincing and effective . 
ms . graham , with her long dirty blonde hair , innocent demeanour , and huge hazel eyes , looks like a disney animated heroine come to life -- or in this case , a disney animated heroine who came to life , made a wrong turn , and ended up on the new line lot in a film focused on the late 70s / early 80s adult film industry . 
consequently , it's a bit incongruous to see this cheery sweet-faced starlet whizzing about the set on her roller skates , but in a scene where she's lounging in a limousine prowling the streets , garish red lipstick messily smeared on , giving the camera a hilariously pouty come-hither look , all one can do is gulp . 
her role in the film sadly needs more fleshing out ( err -- in a figurative sense ) -- she's essentially a glorified extra -- but she does score impressively in her key scene which is unnerving in its sheer primal ferocity . 
 ( if only mr . anderson had filmed the scene so that we could actually see the expression of rage and anguish on her face , though ! ) 
and a cautionary tale for the strict and prudish : as a teen , ms . graham's parents forbade her to take a part in the twisted cult classic heathers ; since then , her most notable roles have been as a junkie ( gus van sant's drugstore cowboy ) and now a porn starlet . 
draw your own conclusions . 
perhaps the most quietly touching performance in boogie nights is that of mr . cheadle , who lends dignity to his role as a character in search of his identity , and whose quest is comically manifested by a series of changes in his sense of fashion . 
his relationship with his cheerfully supportive new wife jessie st . vincent ( an interesting melora walters ) is wholly compelling has genuine sweetness , and although his general longing for acceptance from others is perceptible , it's no more so than in the bank scene where his loan application to open a stereo store is rejected due to his background in the porn industry . 
while the scenario is familiar , the wounded look in cheadle's eyes makes the scene unforgettable . 
luis guzman's most famous work is possibly in brian de palma's carlito's way , and here he plays a variation on the same character : maurice t . rodriguez is a hapless but good-natured nightclub owner who's a hanger-on to jack's group , ingratiating himself into the clique and constantly hounding jack , with little disguise made of his desperation , for a part in one of his erotic pictures . 
jack's eventual acquiescence to maurice's request leads to one of boogie nights' biggest comic payoffs . 
boogie nights is a stunning achievement due to the virtuoso direction by mr . anderson , who immediately asserts his presence in the film industry as a presence of note with this work . 
striking a fine balance between humour and drama , and exceptionally well-crafted , there's no doubt that boogie nights is among the very best films of the year . 
"
"1","bruce willis and sixth sense director m . night shyamalan re-team to tell the story of david dunne ( willis ) , a stadium security guard who has been having some problems at home that are affecting his relationship with his wife and child . 
on a return trip from new york where he was trying to get a job , dunne is in a horrible train accident that he is the only survivor of . 
to make things even stranger , dunne has also escaped the accident completely unscathed . 
a comic book art dealer named elijah price ( samuel l . jackson ) , who was born with a degenerative bone disease that causes his bones to be so brittle that they break constantly , has been seeking out someone like dunne his entire life . 
price felt that there had to be someone exactly the opposite of him . . . 
someone whose bones would be so strong that they would never break . 
price contacts dunne and convinces him to come down to his gallery for a talk where he suggests that dunne could quite possibly be something akin to a superhero from the comic books price used to read when he was a child . 
dunne doesn't believe him at first , but price assists him in discovering his "" powers "" and helps him hone his craft until he discovers what his true calling really is . 
writer/director m . night shyamalan had a tough act to follow with his sleeper hit the sixth sense . 
how exactly does one follow up on one of the biggest and most popular thrillers in recent years ? 
for shyamalan , the answer must have come as easy to him as nuclear physics does to kindergartners . 
does this new film measure up to his breakthrough box office smash , though ? 
the answer to that question is not a very easy one , either . 
as far as pacing goes , the sixth sense seemed almost interminable . 
it wasn't until the surprise ending was revealed that i realized the film was actually intentionally ( and perfectly ) paced in order to give the audience ample time to re-connect all of the information they had seen once the climax had been reached . 
for unbreakable , shyamalan gave the film a much more satisfying pace which , in many ways , blows away the film that had come before . 
the story moves along at a steady pace and shyamalan's direction is excellent , with the camera almost constantly moving . 
there are tons of great shots in the film , not least of which is a conversation that opens the film between willis' character and another train passenger . 
the shot seems as though it were filmed like we were watching the two talk from between the train seats and the camera steadily glides back and forth between the two actors as they speak . 
also very impressive is the film's score by james newton howard ( who also scored shyamalan's sixth sense and the similar film stir of echoes , as well as this year's dinosaur ) . 
several of the scenes are driven by a very catchy beat and help to increase the tempo of the film . 
one of the best examples of this is a scene in which dunne goes into a train station to "" exercise "" his powers . 
the music , in combination with the stellar visuals , really go a long way towards making this an incredible movie . 
if there was any one soundtrack i would make a must purchase this year , this one would be it . 
the film also boasts some great performances , including a precocious child actor trying to vie for the oscar throne left vacant by haley joel osment . 
willis turns in a great performance as the sad sack dunne , who just can't seem to figure out why he's been depressed for the last few years . 
his character almost seems pathetic when we first meet him , but he eventually grows into his own under elijah's tutelage . 
jackson is one of the better actors of our time , and here he turns in yet another great performance as the ever injured elijah . 
though his hairstyle is absurd , jackson seems to infuse such a great deal of pain into his role that the mortar board hairdo can easily be overlooked . 
robin wright penn's role seems slightly underwritten , but she still manages to get across the intense hurt of her character's need for love from her husband and her desire to make things work again . 
spencer treat clark , as the dunne's young son jeremy , shows that shyamalan still has a knack for picking young actors , and he turns in one of the most competent performances in the film . 
out of all the characters , jeremy's is perhaps the most emotional , and clark does a great job with the role . 
where the film does lose points though , is during its "" surprise "" ending . 
shyamalan has said in interviews that he was going to do an ending that blew away the one presented by the sixth sense , but i found myself saying "" that was it ? ! "" 
when unbreakable revealed its own ending . 
it's not that the ending is bad , it's just that the ending doesn't quite have the emotional punch that the other film's did . 
plus , it almost seems like it sets itself up for sequels ( and i won't reveal the ending here , but you'll understand what i mean when you see it ) . 
essentially , what all of this means is that shyamalan has made another good film with unbreakable . 
the only real problem is that the ending doesn't quite fill the shadow left by its predecessor . 
as long as it isn't held to the standard that sixth sense set ( which it ultimately will be ) , it should be a remarkably well liked film . 
one thing seems clear , though . 
shyamalan definitely has an affinity for comic books that he would like to share with the world and many comic book fans will also delight the vision he presents in this film . 
"
"1","there's good news and bad news about mulan . 
the positive is that disney has found a happy medium between the heavy-handedness of pocahontas and the hunchback of notre dame and the childishness of hercules . 
on the other hand , the studio is pulling out all the stops on plot cliches and cheap laughs , several steps down from the days of the little mermaid and beauty and the beast . 
but mulan is a step in the right direction and disney's best animated feature since the lion king . 
after giving native americans a turn in pocahontas , disney has decided to turn a movie over to the asians . 
mulan is set in feudal china and features the ever-popular heroine who marches to a different drum and wants to do more with her life than get married . 
that's what we find out when young mulan ( voice of ming- na wen ) screws up her appointment with the matchmaker by letting a rogue cricket splash coffee all over her . 
cartoons . . . 
meanwhile , word comes from the emporer that one man from every family must join the army and help fight the huns . 
since mulan's a girl , that means her decrepit old father must go . 
she pleads with the soldiers to have mercy on dear old dad , but that kind of groveling and desperation brings shame on her family . 
that's chinese culture for you . . . 
so imagine how embarrassed the family is the next day when they find mulan has stolen her father's uniform and sword and run off to join the army in his place . 
the movie in a nutshell is about the stuggles of being a woman in the army . 
it should have been called g . i . 
chang . 
mulan calls on her ancestors for help . 
they decide to summon the large stone dragon in the backyard to protect her , but a mini dragon named mushu screws it up . 
voiced by eddie murphy , mushu continues the tradition of cute talking animal sidekicks who do more slapstick harm than good for their human charges . 
murphy's performance is a direct descendent of robin williams in aladdin -- lots of wisecracks and ad-libs and even an introductory song about how much fun they're going to have . 
you ain't never had a friend like mushu . 
speaking of songs , mulan doesn't have too many of them , which is a plus with a story like this . 
disney songs about war probably wouldn't go over too well ( "" heigh ho , heigh ho , it's off to war i go . . . "" ) , and the ones they do have aren't memorable . 
the best of the bunch , sad to say , is "" be a man , "" the requisite basic training montage song . 
yes , even in medieval china , they had to run through that web of car tires before they were ready for battle . 
sung by donnie osmond ( a bad sign if ever there was one ) , "" be a man "" accompanies footage of mulan's platoon going from screw-ups to heroes . 
it makes me wonder , has there ever been a musical montage in a movie that's ended badly ? 
i only wish real-life problems could be solved in two minutes with a peppy montage . 
for the curious , mulan does pass for a man in the army despite looking like a girl . 
all she does to transform herself is cut her hair to a sexy shoulder-length , talk macho and slap guys on the butt , as was male custom a thousand years ago in china . 
the deception fools everyone but the audience , who thinks she might be able to pass for a 12-year-old boy , at best . 
but she does manage to strike the biggest blows to the hun army , led by a big , evil-eyed attilla-looking monster . 
as a villain , the head of the huns is menacing , evil and entirely forgettable . 
i saw the movie yesterday and i don't remember the man's name . 
otherwise , mulan is a good movie . 
the animation of the characters themselves isn't as rich as it could and should be , but there are some amazing battlefield shots . 
eddie murphy pulls off some good one-liners , as do other star voices like harvey fierstein and pat morita , the quintessential asian movie star . 
hell , george "" mr . sulu "" takei does a voice in mulan . 
you get the sense disney said to themselves , "" alright , let's get out there and find us some chinese americans in hollywood . 
who can you think of ? "" 
 "" well , there's mr . myagi . . . "" 
 "" good . "" 
 "" and mr . sulu . "" 
 "" perfect . 
we've got ourselves a movie now . "" 
soon disney really _will_ be able to paint with all the colors of the wind . 
"
"1","harmless , silly and fun comedy about dim-witted wrestling fans gordie and sean ( david arquette and scott caan ) who idolize current world championship wrestling heavyweight champion jimmy king ( oliver platt ) . 
when king is screwed out of his title by a corrupt promoter ( joe pantoliano ) , gordie and sean take it upon themselves to find their fallen hero and restore his glory . 
my biggest fear about ready to rumble was dispatched early on , as the filmmakers are quick to show that wresting is indeed choreographed ( but not fake , mind you ) . 
the hook of the movie is that gordie and sean are just too stupid to realize that . 
arquette and caan are suitably over the top with their performances , which is exactly what a movie like this requires , and oliver platt ( one of my favorite actors ) is a riot as the drunken washed-up ex-champion . 
many have scoffed at the idea that platt should be playing a heavyweight champion wrestler with an unbeaten record , but for me it just added to the "" silly factor "" of the film , thereby increasing my enjoyment of it . 
one casting complaint however : rose mcgowan as a sexy dancer ? 
please . . . 
if rose mcgowan is sexy then i'm marilyn manson . 
given the current state of the actual wcw , if oliver platt were appearing as jimmy king right now on wcw programming , he'd be the most popular guy they have . 
on a similar note , the "" plot line "" of the wresting portions of the film are more entertaining than anything the wcw writers have been able to come up with in the last two years . 
although one does have to ask . . . 
why would any wrestling promoter fire the head wrestler of a company who is both unbeaten and extremely popular with the fans ? 
director brian robbins ( you'll remember him as eric from tv's "" head of the class "" ) just knows how to make good dumb movies . 
this movie fits in nicely with his previous efforts good burger and varsity blues . 
and screenwriter steven brill ( the epic mighty ducks trilogy , late last night ) manages to keep things both sophomoric and clever at the same time , with almost all the jokes of the film getting a laugh out of me . 
the only exceptions to that were : 1 ) a scene involving a van full of singing nuns and 2 ) any scene involving the old woman wrestling fan . 
those moments made me cringe and/or groan . 
as an added bonus though , the audience is treated to outtakes from the film as the final credits roll . 
[pg-13] 
"
"1","steven spielberg is now considered as one of the hollywood deities , because of the rare capability to deliver both huge commercial hits , like jurassic park , and "" oscar "" -awarded critical triumphs like schindler's list . 
however , in the 1970s spielberg built his reputation by creating works of art that could slip in both categories . 
one of them is close encounters of the third kind , extremely popular and influential science-fiction spectacle . 
unfortunately , it had a bad luck to be released in the same year as star wars . 
although both films have a lot in common ( ground-breaking special effects , brilliant score by john williams ) their future was different ; one became an unstoppable cult phenomenon , and another almost forgotten and stuck forever in its shadow . 
when spielberg began work on that project , he was already established as a bright new hollywood star due to his previous commercial hit , jaws . 
together with other young directors of his "" new hollywood "" generation , like kauffman , carpenter , hill and millius , he exploited the great creative freedom of 1970s , when even the mainstream producers dared to experiment . 
ironically , it was spielberg himself whose later commercial success would established new unwritten rules of "" blockubuster "" philosophy . 
but in the mid 1970s , many things were different ; spielberg was young and eager to use hollywood resources for his very personal and artistic movie . 
although very personal , spielberg's screenplay was partly based on the book "" ufo experience "" by dr . j . allen hynek and in many ways inspired by the popular urban mythology of extraterrestrial visitors to earth that began to grow in the world after ww2 . 
spielberg was not only inspired by the mythology , but his movie also gave the mythology itself a huge boost , unmatched until the contemporary era of x-files and the roswell anniversary . 
that was partly because he made the movie very realistic using the authentic ufo-related incidents as the element of the plot . 
the story begins with one of such incidents - team of international scientists come to the sonorra desert in mexico to find the u . s . navy planes of who went missing decades ago during the famous flight 19 . 
such events coincide with the ufo incident witnessed by roy neary ( richard dreyfuss ) , power company worker from muncie , indiana , who later becomes obsessed with his experience . 
because of his obsession he loses his job , family and sanity , but his loss is nothing compared to the experience of jillian guiler ( melinda dillon ) , single mother whose son becomes the victim of alien abduction . 
in the meantime , the scientists decipher the strange signals from outer space and u . s . government , in co-operation with the french , led by lacombe ( francois truffaut ) begin with the preparation for ultra-secret project . 
when the news of the poison gas leak in the middle of wyoming reach neary , he finally sees some sense in all his visions and begins the perilous journey toward the centre of endangered area . 
there he is joined by jillian who shared the similar visions . 
two of them must break through military pickets and reach their destination to find whatever is there . 
spielberg here shows great mastery by using the very same techniques of jaws to make completely different effects . 
the slow , gradual yet very disciplined series of dramatic incidents - "" close encounters "" - is set in order to bring the viewer to the great revelation in the finale . 
but , instead of the fear and horror we had to endure during the jaws , we are now overwhelmed by the sense of boyish wonder . 
throughout the movie the viewer knows that something big , magnificent and wonderful is about to happen , and great magician spielberg delivers his promise in the end . 
the last sequence , with its , even in this age , impressive special effects by the great virtuoso douglas trumbull , would leave many mouths open . 
one of the great virtues of this film is its optimism . 
aliens , who almost always get portrayed as the monsters in science-fiction cinema , are here benevolent and harmless creatures and the first contact between them and humanity is a beginning of something wonderful . 
it is very ironic , when we consider that the two classic sf movies that visually inspired spielberg actually told quite different story - howard hawks' thing and byron haskin's war of the worlds presented extraterrestrials as the threat to the mankind . 
spielberg's humane approach and faith in the future also lies in great contrast to the pessimistic mood of its era ; the only hint of the contemporary gloom is post-watergate portrayal of government as conspiratorial towards the public . 
but , even such government is much more harmless compared to the murderous and chain-smoking men in black that became the stereotype thanks to x-files and its more cynical and disturbing visions . 
there lies the main , and probably the only flaw of this great picture - lack of conflict , and consequently , lack of drama . 
the movie has few excitements or even action scenes ( especially the last that may be an interesting homage to hitchcock's north by northwest ) but generally , almost everyone - neary , jillian , government , aliens - are the good guys . 
despite such shortcomings , the actors were good and manage to bring multidimensionality to their simple roles . 
richard dreyfuss is very convincing as a ordinary , yet nice guy , who sinks into insanity only to rediscover himself in a grand finale . 
melinda dillon was , on the other hand , nominated for "" oscar "" as a struggling mother , yet she was overshadowed by teri garr as neary's long-suffering wife ronnie . 
apart from visual wonders of this film , spielberg's semi-official composer john williams again excels by his beautiful music , this time using the simple melody both as the element of a plot , and as the basis for his score . 
the aliens , who are the main subject of this film , were visually very convincing . 
too convincing , one of my acquaintances in the ufo-researching circles said . 
according to him , the depiction of extraterrestrials as grey-skinned little people with big eyes was so accurate , that it managed to freak out powerful government figures interested in suppressing the truth about ufos . 
so , they later approached spielberg and ordered him to make another movie with alien , this time designed to be anything but the real life . 
the result was e . t . , for many years the biggest commercial hit of all times , yet less inspirational for ufo enthusiasts . 
anyway , whether the viewer believes in existence of extraterrestrials or ufos , close encounters of the third kind remains the great movie , and one of the rare uplifting experiences in modern cinema . 
"
"1","with the exception of their surrealistic satire barton fink , the films of joel and ethan coen fit into two broad categories : quirky and sometimes darkly humorous takes on the "" film noir "" genre in which crime schemes go wrong and spin increasingly out of control ( fargo , miller's crossing , blood simple ) , and off-the-wall comedies centered around an eccentric , scatter-brained lead character ( raising arizona , the hudsucker proxy ) . 
their latest offering , the big lebowski , falls within the latter category , though there are elements of the crime-gone-wrong theme and even a touch of satire to be found in this film . 
the main difference , however , is that while the protagonists of raising arizona and the hudsucker proxy had lofty aspirations and ideals but didn't quite have the brains to get it all together , the main character of the big lebowski seems like a fairly intelligent guy who's wise to the world , but he doesn't really want to do much of anything besides go bowling , smoke pot , and generally relax . 
that main character is jeffrey "" the dude "" lebowski ( jeff bridges ) , introduced by the film's rambling narrator ( sam elliott ) as "" quite possibly the laziest man in los angeles county . "" 
the dude is unemployed , needless to say , and spends most of his time at the bowling alley with his two best friends , walter ( john goodman ) , a borderline-psychotic who's in the habit of pulling a gun when he thinks somebody's cheating in a bowling match ( "" has the whole world gone crazy ? ! "" he shouts at a suspected cheater ) , and donny ( steve buscemi ) , who's always a few steps behind the conversation and is constantly berated by walter for it ( "" donny , you have no frame of reference here ! "" ) . 
these three seem to more or less live for bowling tournaments , and as the film begins they are anticipating an important match with rival bowler jesus quintana ( john turturro ) , who , when we first meet him , is doing a dance in the bowling lane to accompany a spanish version of "" hotel california "" and , if it's possible , seems to be even more of a head case than walter . 
if that doesn't give you a good idea of this film's absurdist tone , then perhaps this will : the entire scenario which drives the story is set in motion by two thugs mistakenly urinating on the dude's rug . 
they've mistaken him for a millionaire of the same name who is also known as the "" big "" lebowski ( david huddleston ) and whose nymphomaniac wife bunny ( tara reid ) owes money to porn producer jackie treehorn ( ben gazzara ) . 
the dude goes to the big lebowski seeking compensation for his ruined rug ; he doesn't have any luck , but when bunny is apparently kidnapped , the elder lebowski asks him to deliver the $1 million ransom . 
unfortunately , walter gets involved and fouls up the drop-off , and before they can try again to get the money to the supposed kidnappers , the dude's car gets stolen , along with the briefcase containing the money . 
soon , the dude is being harassed not only by the big lebowski himself but also by treehorn and by a group of german "" nihilists "" who demand the ransom money even though they may not have been involved in the kidnapping in the first place ; the dude and walter suspect that bunny may well have kidnapped herself in order to extort money from her husband to repay her debts to treehorn . 
meanwhile , the big lebowski's daughter maude ( julianne moore ) , a feminist avant-garde artist who likes to make grand entrances swinging through the air naked , wants to recover the money for her family . 
the plot , however , is really just a vehicle for all these bizarre characters to run wild and wreak their own unique forms of havoc . 
the previews for the big lebowski feature creedence clearwater revival's "" run through the jungle , "" and it fits : the coens see los angeles as a veritable jungle of oddballs and nutcases , with the sometimes bewildered dude left to run through it and try to avoid any more trouble ( usually unsuccessfully ) . 
the film doesn't feature quite as many one-liners and sight gags as the coens' other comedies ( though there are a few hilarious moments of visual humor , particularly in the dude's dream sequences and acid flashbacks ) , but it more than makes up for it with the sheer fun of watching these strange characters interact . 
the film sometimes seems a little disjointed as a result - you get the feeling that the coens have not only set their characters loose in this "" jungle "" but are also themselves running crazy through the jungle of their own twisted imaginations - but for the most part the characterizations are interesting enough to overcome the shaky plotting and what turns out to be a somewhat anticlimactic resolution . 
there's also a noticeable ( but not too heavy-handed ) thread of social commentary in the big lebowski , which , incidentally , takes place just as the gulf war is about to begin ; at the beginning , we see george bush on television making his "" this aggression will not stand "" speech . 
the coens take aim at just about every elite l . a . subculture in the book : the egotistical wealthy businessman ( "" the bums will always lose ! "" 
shouts the big lebowski at one point ) , the porn industry , the overbearing malibu policeman who berates the dude for disturbing their "" peaceful beach community , "" and so on . 
by the end , we really start to admire the dude , who almost certainly harbors the least "" aggression "" of anyone in this story ; his passive resistance ( emphasis on "" passive , "" albeit ) to the elite emerges as something more than just another quirky characterization in a film overflowing with quirky characters . 
he also turns out to have a pretty well-functioning brain in his head , even if he doesn't like to use it very much ; his sarcasm towards treehorn and the malibu policeman shows that he knows when he's getting a run around , and he does manage to unravel the kidnapping mystery by the end . 
the coens certainly poke fun at the dude for his laziness , but they don't just treat him as fodder for cheap shots either . 
i think that , more than anything , is what makes the big lebowski a standout comedy : it manages to approach characters like the dude and , to some extent , walter , with genuine affection while still acknowledging that they are pretty scatter-brained . 
audience members may find themselves surprised at how much they like the un-dynamic duo by the end of the movie , given that they seemed like nothing more than the butts of an extended joke at first . 
 "" it's good knowin' he's out there , the dude , takin' it easy , "" posits the narrator towards the end . 
i dare say that truer words have seldom been spoken . 
"
"1"," "" the endurance : shackleton's legendary antarctic expedition "" 
in 1914 , as the great war descended upon europe , sir ernest shackleton began his third expedition to antarctica , this time to be the first to cross the ice-bound continent on foot . 
28 men set sail on the brigantine endurance and they would not be heard from again for nearly two years . 
director george butler , using film footage and photographs from the historic journey , tells their remarkable story in "" the endurance : shackleton's legendary antarctic expedition . "" 
the expedition started out as a merely incredibly difficult quest to traverse , on foot , the vast wasteland of antarctica . 
as the intrepid ship and crew entered the weddell sea , the entry to the cold , cruel continent , they did not plan on the dense pack ice bringing the voyage to an abrupt halt as the endurance became trapped within sight of land . 
for months the ice thickened and compressed until the ship was crushed , stranding the men on the flow , propelling them away from their goal and , eventually , into their lifeboats for safety . 
shackleton , faced with a desolate situation , made the decision to lead the three tiny boats to the relative safety of uninhabited elephant island . 
once on this "" safe "" haven , shackleton next turned his sights to saving his crew and returning them to civilization . 
he and five of his men leave the island in an open boat to make the 800 mile journey on the world's roughest sea to get help from the nearest inhabited island of south georgia . 
miraculously , the six land , after 17 days at sea , on the uninhabited side of the target island and are forced to trek across treacherous , snow covered mountains , covering 22 miles in just 36 hours . 
this ordeal is followed by several attempts by shackleton to get back to elephant island to rescue the remaining crewmen . 
in the end , he is successful and everyone made it back home alive , only to be swallowed up by the ravages of the war . 
the title of this fascinating documentary , "" the endurance , "" is more than just the name of ship that carried the crew of brave men to the edge of the world . 
it is also the description of the stamina and ability of every one of the men who survived 19-months of the toughest , most grueling conditions on the face of the earth . 
the name of the film is a tribute to every member of the crew and to the ship that sheltered them for many month of frigid antarctic weather . 
it also describes the focused mental state of shackleton who never gave up on himself or his men . 
with astonishing foresight , shackleton brought australian cinematographer and photographer frank hurley along on the journey . 
the filmed footage and photos are remarkable as they capture the ordeal of the men , day to day life , the affection all felt for their loyal sled dogs , the slow destruction of the endurance and the preparations to get off of the pack ice flow . 
after the sinking of the ship , the remaining film stock , with the exception of a still camera and three rolls of film , had to be discarded so the continuing chronicle of the incredible journey gets less photo documentation as the ordeal plods on . 
considering hurley was using relatively primitive photo technology in one of the world's harshest environments and captured so much on film is a feat unto itself . 
 ( hurley created his own account of the shackleton expedition in his 1919 documentary , "" south , "" an interesting companion piece for "" the endurance . "" 
if shackleton's original idea , document his trek across the frigid southern continent , had been successful , it would have been considered a super human feat . 
as you watch the story of "" the endurance "" unfold , you realize that the disastrous obstacles the sir ernest and his men faced and overcame were even greater accomplishments than the first intent . 
 ( shackleton's amazing 800-mile journey in an open boat is fodder for a rousing adventure story all by itself . ) 
there are a couple of minor nitpicks with this fine work , though . 
actor liam neeson narrates the story , but his voice is too soft spoken and lilting for the dramatic tale . 
the nature of the ordeal also concentrates most of the visual material , both film and photo , in the documentary's first half . 
as the crew's adventure takes more drastic paths , hurley had less and less film stock available to chronicle the awesome events . 
helmer butler and his team fill in the blanks , but the treasure of "" the endurance , "" its film footage , is mostly relegated to the early months of the expedition . 
i can't think of a true-life adventure that shows , better , the triumph of man over seemingly insurmountable odds . 
 "" the endurance , "" based on caroline alexander's book , is an eye-opening documentary that goes where few men have gone before and , even more remarkably , all 28 survivors lived to tell about it . 
i give it a b+ . 
"
"1","every year--every year at the festival , i wait for that film to come along , that one that just pulls me out of my seat , sticks its face up next to my nose , and roars "" sur-prise ! "" 
into my bewildered visage . 
it's almost always a surprise . 
it sure as niflheim was this time . 
amazing grace and chuck is being advertised as a modern fairy tale , of a boy in montana who quits his little league team for a very unusual reason . 
and , in the hands of anyone less careful than the creative staff of this film , it might very well be nothing more than a fairy tale , where we roll our eyes occasionally , smirk to ourselves , and maybe get a forced tear out of the eyes and a "" boy , i wish that could happen "" sigh out of the lips upon exiting the theater and tossing the empty pepsi cup into the trash . 
another e . t . 
another short circuit . 
this film floored me , for the simple reason that while it has a fairy tale concept , the rest of the film takes itself seriously enough , and presents itself well enough , to make it more of an american folk tale , with characters who are both icons and real people at the same time . 
america has always had its mythical heros , its paul bunyans and john waynes ; this film presents us with more general , but still universal , ideals : the honest , innocent children who have their own inner wisdom ; the athletes who seem to be amalgamations of courage , honor , and love for their respective sport ; the venerable elected official who leads with kindness and understanding , but has the grit to get things done when they need doin' ( does the latter sound familiar ? ) . 
amazing grace and chuck is a showcase for these characters , but it never leaves you with the feeling that it's artificial , that it stands behind glass , or that any sharp breeze--or , more importantly , sharp thought--will shatter the wax facade of the panorama . 
this is a very sturdy scenario . 
the principals are always given dialogue , and always give performances--always ( it just blows me away ) -- which made them seem real , yet enforces their particular mythic role . 
the writer/producer , david field , seems to literally take all the "" yeah , but in real life , this would have happen "" thoughts you get in your head , sticks them in the movie and uses them to bend the plot around to his original heading , in a stronger way then before ! 
astounding ! 
he uses obstacles to the plot to * enforce * it ! 
i am truly impressed ( indeed , envious ) with the skill in which he wrote the story and screenplay ; it's so very unusual , especially in a hollywood film . 
i don't want to give too much away , but the basic premise is that chuck ( joshua zuehlke ) , the little league pitcher , decides to give up baseball because of nuclear weapons . 
his decision begins an unlikely series of events that involve another athlete , a boston basketball player ( alex english ) , "" amazing "" grace smith , and , well , i'm leaving it at that because i wouldn't spoil this film for you for the world . 
let me just say this , though : i am not recommending this film because i think it has a great message or because of any political positions it might imply . 
i don't give a rat's ass for the political point-of-view this film expresses , one way or another ; i'm recommending you go see this film because , and only because , it's an excellent story , told with excellence . 
no , i don't believe what happens in this film could happen in real life ; while i tend to believe the arms control policy of this country is stilted , i believe in careful negotiations , mutual verification , etc . screw what i think . 
the point is , this film is able to suspend my disbelief and tell a story that is one of the most finely crafted pieces of american dream i have ever seen on the movie screen . 
this is the natural and more--all the mythic qualities without the pretentiousness or the forced feeling of the conclusion , and a much better script to boot . 
it carried me into the beliefs and ideals of my boyhood--and , more importantly , without any bumps or jolts that would snap me out of the trance with some hint of self-consciousness . 
special kudos to : both zuehlke ( a real-life little league pitcher who was picked for the part ) and english ( a forward for the denver nuggets ) for their seamless personification of their characters ; jamie lee curtis , who takes a surprisingly small role and makes it exceedingly memorable as amazing's manager and friend ; william l . peterson ( in a * big * change from his role in to live and die in l . a . ) as a father who shows principles without having to stand up and wave a flag doing it ; and gregory peck , as the guy we wish ronald reagan really was ( and who some numbskulls still probably think he is 
"
"1","oh god how many john grisham lawyer films we have been munundated with ! 
in a perfect world , "" a civil action "" would be a breath of fresh air . 
it's cynical about lawyers in a way that grisham isn't . 
it's romantic in the exact opposite way a grisham book/film isn't . 
and , the capper , it has no distinct ending , and the law in hollywood films is that above all else , you must have an ending . 
even if it's based on a true story , a true story which hasn't yet ended , you must supply an ending , a false one , but an ending nevertheless . 
hell , "" a civil action "" is even more sly and more witty than any of the grisham works put together ( and that includes "" the firm , "" the only novel of his that will ever be regarded as a classic ) . 
yet it's also oddly and slightly unsatisfying . 
weird . 
this is , in fact , a steve zallian film , not just the work of a hack , and zallian is the director of the much-admired "" search for bobby fischer "" ( didn't see it ) and writer of none other than "" schindler's list . "" 
in short , i like this guy , and am a sucker for the way he tells his stories . 
after all , apart from the obvious it's-a-holocaust-film and it's-a-spielberg-film , isn't "" schindler's list "" just a damn brilliant film , not so much a holocaust film as it is a wonderful character study . 
 "" a civil action "" is the same way : it's narrative is split between being a lawyer film and being a character study . 
and it's here that the film seems to go a bit wrong . 
the main complaint of this film is that while , yes , it's an engrossing lawyerly tale , it has no real ending , and that's not necessarily the problem with the film . 
it's that it's just kind of unsatisfying . 
if this were a great film , it would feel complete , and still end basically the same way . 
but this film just seems to end , and i don't want to be stupid and suggest an alternate ending should be tacked on : imagine , if you will , being one of those the film is about , looking forward to this film , and then discovered the truth has been through a surrealistic and unpleasant hollywood filter , just so the many won't bitch about what is , essentially , genuine . 
but the fact that it just ends is not , in all actuality , what is wrong with it . 
it's rather that zallian has chosen , in the last half hour , to adandon the traditional lawyer story , and chose the other part of his story , the one about the lawyer , one jan schlictman ( john travolta ) , who's shown in the opening and throughout most of the movie as a heartless but brilliant lawyer , brilliant because he's manipulative and he always wins . 
it wishes to make it all about jan in the end , but the truth is , his change , although nicely done , is not full . 
we see him suffering from a personal crisis , and travolta does do a pretty good job in depicting his change of heart , but in the end , we don't fully believe it . 
and i think that the problem is when he has made his decision , the film choses an odd angle to go at , a noble one , but one that gives the film's conclusion that of incompleteness . 
in the opening of the film , we see him doing his old schtick , manipulating courts , winning cases effortlessly , and then discussing on a heard radio interview how great he is at his job and how much he cares for his cases . 
in short , he's full of bullshit and we know it . 
in the film , he takes a case that is hardly desired : a town where several of the children have died mysteriously of lukemia and the source of the illness seems to be from a local factory that may or may not have been dumping waste into the river . 
point one , it's not of the usual criteria ( jan points out , wickedly , that dead or wounded children aren't nearly as sympathetic as those struck down in the midst of their success ) . 
point two , it has been through several lawyers . 
after turning them down , jan changes his mind ( a muddled scene - he stops his car on a bridge , looks out . . . is he feeling a sense of overachievement ? ) , and he and his team of lawyers ( tony shalhoub , zeljko ivanek , and accountant william h . macy ) head out to the town to do battle with the town's company . 
they spend millions of dollars examining the land , test the water , what have you ( this is where stephen fry , a possible oscar nominee for his brilliant performance in "" wilde , "" pops up thanklessly ) , and in the meantime question the parents of the dead children , and then , unsuccessfully , the workers at the plant . 
they also find themselves clashing with a brilliant lawyer for the company , the eccentric jerome facher , played by robert duvall ( more on him later on ) . 
as we progress , we get so involved in the way the story is being told , which is engulfing everything around it , including the individual and brief stories of some of the townspeople ( one of the best is a bit with james gandolfini as an employee of the plant living across the street from kathleen quinland , who lost her child , who begins to have a personal crisis ) . 
things begin to go downhill for the lawyers in the second half , as they are up against impossible odds : the judge ( john lithgow ) is not only a strickler , but a pal of facher ; the employees of the plant are either afraid or to loyal to testify ; no concrete evidence is being found , depsite the money spent to find it ; and they are quickly running out of money . 
as macy mortgages everything he can , including their homes and their office , he slowly loses his sanity ( his meatiest role since , oh , "" fargo "" ) , and we the audience begin to feel a real loss of hope for our protagonist . 
in fact , the last half hour is such a change from the rest of the film and so unresolved that it has been widely panned as not being up to par ( owen gleiberman , especially , criticized the film for not being overly-dramatic . . . i 
suppose like a grisham novel ) . 
this wouldn't be so if the change in jan had not been handled the way it is : instead of having a change of heart and automatically being perceived as good , he's seen as being still full of bullshit . 
because he doesn't take stock in the cares of his partners , and causes them all to lose their money and noteriaty in the lawyer field because he wants to help the people of the town , he is instead seen as being of good nature but not sure how to bring that out . 
the final half tries to redeem this , as must have been the point of making this in zallian's mind , but what follows is a series of scenes where we merely see him making personal stands for his beliefs , and though he has changed considerably from the opening moments when he's seen speeding back and forth from the town that wishes to employ him ( and thusly receiving two speeding tickets ) , we still feel that the big change in his life is that he's not rich and esteemed anymore ( the film's final title card is witty but in all actuality shallow ) . 
the fault is not that there is no closure to the court case ( it's still going on , you know ) , but that its personal story feels like it needs either another chapter or another angle in the final one it has . 
we need to feel like the character has really made a big change in his life , and that the story is how a story of strife like the one of the town could inspire such a whopping change in his personal life . 
it only feels like half of that . 
maybe even less . 
and it's not travolta , who does a great job here ( though never to be a truly memorable performance of his ) , but rather zallian , whose final chapter needs a rewrite . 
up to then , though , it's an engrossing drama , one of the best of the year in fact , and one of the best lawyer films , period . 
the reason is because it recognizes that a court trial is not about those being defended or prosecuted , but rather it's about the lawyers , the knights who battle eachother . 
we learn that the company is almost positively to blame for the deaths in the town , but the reason it can't be blamed is because it has the best prosecution you can find . 
and duvall's facher is such a brilliant character and he does such a magnificent job at portraying that man that it's almost easy to overlook how subtley great he is . 
facher is seen as an elderly man , a goofy eccentric , carrying a broken brown bag with stickers on it , eating lunches out of paper bags , and making a point to take time out of his day to listen to the radio , and scold anyone who interupts him . 
but look deeper and you see a master at work : his evil and manipulative nature are hidden under the eccentricities that others don upon him , and it's difficult as hell to clearly generalize him in any way . 
that's why i liked this film : it's hard to put a pointer on . 
you can never see exactly where this film will land , and even when the credits roll , you still aren't sure what to make of it . 
call it the zallian effect . 
same thing happened with "" schindler's list "" ( not that i'm comparing oskar schindler to jan schlictman ) . 
each film is so greatly crafted that you can't help but get involved in its broad storytelling , interesting characters , and , most peculiarly , the wit that comes along with it . 
if only it felt totally complete ( like , say , "" schindler's list , "" though at this point it may be unfair to make comparisons between the two ) , it might have been one of the best films of the year , and along with that , a full breath of fresh air . 
"
"1","the seasoned capt . dudley smith ( james cromwell ) questions his new protege , ed exley ( guy pearce ) about his political views when it comes to police work . 
 "" would you plant evidence to get a conviction if you knew the person to be guilty ? 
would you shoot a man in the back if you knew that it was the only way to make sure he got what he deserved ? "" 
exley , squeaky clean , innocent , and pent with the desire to perform his new duties with integrity and honesty quickly answers with a pointed 'no . ' 
stunned , smith pleads , "" then , for the love of god , don't be a detective . "" 
la confidential is a dandy piece of filmmaking that brings us back to the classic times of hollywood in the 50s . 
organized crime was the biggest concern , corruption existed everywhere , and every cop had his own way of getting the job done . 
there was "" hollywood "" jack vincennes ( kevin spacey ) who gets most of his information from the editor of a sleazy tell-all/show-all tabloid , sid hudgeons ( danny devito ) . 
sporting dark sunglasses and a white sports coat , he isn't afraid to flash his tinseltown style . 
detective bud white ( russell crowe ) has only a narrow-minded view of the law , and he uses excessive force to exact his unique kind of interrogation and brutal justice . 
and then there is golden boy exley , wide-eyed and ambitious but extremely naive . 
a horrible multiple murder begins to draw these three men together , each of whom become inexorably connected in their search for truth , action , and personal vindication . 
almost immediately , an arrest is made . 
but something doesn't seem quite right . 
new developments become sinuous as the story begins to draw us deeper into the labyrinth of corruption and crime within the department . 
suspicion and questions begin to mount . 
odd alliances are created . 
and as layers of the truth become revealed , the story grows more complex and intriguing by the moment . 
when the mystery expands , we see other seemingly guilty characters enter the lives of these three cops , including a high-priced hooker ( kim basinger ) and a shady millionaire ( david strathairn ) . 
all of the characters' levels of involvement are not immediately clear . 
we watch with riveted fascination to learn more about why they are there and their stake in the case . 
we sense a cross-pollination of clues that brings us , the audience , closer to the truth . 
we hope that the three detectives can throw away their spite for one another and can pull their resources together in order to untangle the intricately created web of mystery . 
absorbing and affecting , this movie has all the necessary ingredients to create a terrific gourmet serving of film noir . 
it boasts mysterious figures in control , double-crosses , hard information from sleazy sources , dirty politicians , corrupt cops , haunting women , and hard-nosed cops experiencing moral ambiguity . 
the underlying mystery is compelling . 
the look and feel of the movie is gorgeous . 
the entire cast is crisp and wonderful to watch ( i wouldn't be surprised if cromwell received an oscar nomination for his performance ) . 
and , the dialogue is rich and memorable . 
the best line of the movie is spoken when a key player dispenses advice to one of the detectives unsure of what to do . 
 "" don't start trying to do the right thing , boy-o , "" says he . 
 "" you haven't had the practice . "" 
 "" l . a . confidential'' triumphantly achieves the rare gift of complexity and coherence while satisfying our desire for a good old-fashioned movie . 
"
"1","aliens ! ! well , that is what this movie is about . 
computer generated aliens . 
ok , the movie is not just about computer generated aliens . 
it's about computer generated aliens and a secret organization known as mib . 
if one wasn't green and running around the other would not exist as it's known . 
the computer graphics in this movie are spectacular , they make you want to believe that aliens like the ones depicted exits . 
since seeing this movie i have to agree concede that denis rodman is an alien , he simply has to be . 
well , in all seriousness the aliens created here are not only of the monster variety but are also of the soft , squishy and cuddly kind . 
just adds something of a lighter note to the movie where it could have become very dark . 
along with aliens comes the humor and in a pretty decent way . 
j , well soon to be j , a smart ass cop ( played by will smith ) runs down what he thinks is a would-be villain and gets some attention from the mib and k in particular . 
k aims to recruit our poor j , but that is not the whole point of this movie . 
the main duty of the mib is to police the extra terrestrials on earth who have chosen it as a home or a refuge . 
that's also the main point of this movie : protect the earth from the scum of the galaxy . 
some of the scum from space is awfully bad and just down right nasty . 
color commentary abounds when forced to deal with alien scum and none other than will smith and tommy lee jones are there to deliver the punch . 
the dialogue is witty to say the least . 
this wittiness lets the movie flow well from scene to scene developing the characters to the extent needed for this movie . 
tommy lee jones ( as k ) and will smith ( as j ) provide both the action and the comedy beautifully . 
the characters they play don't seem to be wrong in any way nor does their performance as them . 
i would have to say that k is more amusing than j , but what's one without the other . 
both roles complemented each other very well and the script seemed to be written for these two actors . 
the story also goes deep enough to provide a proper background so the audience is not totally clueless . 
altogether good performances were put in by all the cast and the director blended everything marvelously with the necessary special effects to create a good movie . 
a movie well worth seeing if you are up for some lighthearted and witty humor . 
as most movies have their good things they also have their bad things . 
the character development in this movie was not all that grand because it didn't need to be . 
but if there was more character development and if there was some development of the alien characters that might have added quite considerable to the movie . 
especially the evil alien , he did need some work . 
though this could have been worked on , the movie was what it proposed to be a rather shallow and witty comedy . 
that was achieved rather well , with some interesting commentary and observations . 
a movie worth a view , but keep in mind what the movie is and if you are not fond of will smith's form of humor then i wouldn't go . 
originally written after original release . 
totally rewritten december 26 , 1997 
"
"1","in the opening shot of midnight cowboy , we see a close-up of a blank movie screen at a drive-in . 
we hear in the soundtrack human cries and the stomping of horses' hooves . 
without an image projected onto the screen , the audience unerringly identifies the familiar sound of cowboys chasing indians and can spontaneously fill in the blank screen with images of old westerns in our mind's eye . 
even without having seen a cowboys and indians movie , somehow the cliched images of them seem to have found their way into our mental schema . 
but do cowboys really exist , or are they merely hollywood images personified by john wayne and gary cooper ? 
exploring this theme , director john schlesinger uses the idea of the cowboy as a metaphor for the american dream , an equally cliched yet ambiguous concept . 
is the ease at which salvation and success can be attained in america a hallmark of its experience or an urban legend ? 
midnight cowboy suggests that the american dream , like image of the cowboy , is merely a myth . 
as joe buck migrates from place to place , he finds neither redemption nor reward in his attempt to create a life for himself , only further degeneration . 
during the opening credits , joe walks past an abandoned theater whose decrepit marquee reads `john wayne : the alamo . ' 
as joe is on the bus listening to a radio talk show , a lady on the air describes her ideal man as `gary cooper ? but he's dead . ' 
a troubled expression comes across joe's face , as he wonders where have all the cowboys gone . 
having adopted the image of a cowboy since youth , joe now finds himself deserted by the persona he tried to embody . 
joe's persistence in playing the act of the cowboy serves as an analogue to his american dream . 
he romanticizes about making it in the big city , but his dreams will desert him as he is forced to compromise his ideals for sustenance . 
by the end of midnight cowboy , joe buck loses everything and gains nothing . 
just as the audience can picture cowboys chasing indians on a blank screen , we can also conjure up scenes from pretty woman as paradigms of american redemption and success . 
but how realistic are these ideals ? 
joe had raped and been raped in texas . 
the scars of his troubled past prompt him to migrate to new york , but he does not know that his aspirations to be a cowboy hero will fail him there just as they had in texas . 
alongside the dream of success is the dream of salvation . 
the ability to pack up one's belongings and start anew seems to be an exclusive american convention . 
schlesinger provides us with strong hints as to joe's abusive and abused past with flashbacks of improper relationships with crazy anne and granny . 
we understand that joe adopts the fa ? ade of a cowboy , a symbol of virility and gallantry , as an attempt to neutralize his shame . 
he runs from his past only to be sexually defiled this time by his homosexual experiences in new york . 
in the scene at the diner which foreshadows joe's encounter with the gay student , joe buck spills ketchup on himself . 
standing up , we see the ketchup has made a red stain running from the crotch of his pants down his thigh . 
schlesinger visually depicts the degeneration of joe's virility by eliciting an image of bleeding genitals , signifying emasculation . 
beyond the symbol of castration , the scene may also connote the bleeding of a virgin's first sexual encounter , a reference to joe's first homosexual liaison . 
the fact that the idea of a bleeding virgin is relegated only to females furthers the imagery of joe's emasculation . 
it is ironic that joe has trouble prospecting for female clients , but effortlessly attracts men . 
joe believes his broncobuster getup is emblematic of his masculinity ; new yorkers see his ensemble as camp and `faggot stuff . ' 
there are two predominant images of new york . 
the first is that new york is the rich , cosmopolitan city where hope and opportunity are symbolized by the tall skyscrapers and the statue of liberty . 
the other new york is travis bickle's new york , a seedy , corruptive hell on earth . 
joe envisions new york as the former , but is presented with the latter . 
mirroring the irony in which joe envisions his cowboy attire as masculine , he mistakenly buys into the fable that new york is filled with lonely women neglected by gay men . 
joe thinks he is performing a great service for new york , but the city rapes him of his pride and possessions . 
the people steal joe's money , the landlord confiscates his luggage , and the homosexuals rob him of his dignity . 
what has become of joe's american dream ? 
schlesinger responds to this question with the scene at the party . 
joe gets invited to a shindig of sorts and at the gathering is exposed to a dizzying array of food , drugs , and sex . 
at the party , all of joe and ratzo's desires are made flesh ; joe flirts successfully with women and ratzo loads up on free salami . 
contrasting joe's daily struggles , shots of warhol's crew display wanton indulgence . 
there is an irreverence in the partygoers' attitude ; we see a shot of a woman kowtowing to nothing in particular , orgies breaking out in the periphery , and drugs passed around like party favors . 
the party makes a mockery of joe' s ideals . 
joe believed that hard work and persistence were the elements for success in america ; scenes of the party and his rendezvous with shirley suggest that it is the idle who profit from joe's toils . 
the american dream , schlesinger suggests , is merely a proletarian fantasy , for those who are content no longer dream , but become indolent . 
as joe heads to miami , all that was significant of the cowboy image has left him . 
his masculinity is compromised and his morality is relinquished . 
for joe , nothing is left of the cowboy hero and commensurately , he surrenders the identity . 
tossing his boots into the garbage , he returns to the bus for the last leg of his journey to miami . 
the final shot of midnight cowboy shows joe inside the bus , more introspective , taking only a few glances outside the window . 
instead of the frequent pov shots of joe excitedly looking out of the bus on his way to new york , schlesinger sets up this final shot from the exterior of the bus looking in through the window at joe . 
reflections of the palm trees ratzo so raved about run across the bus' window with joe hardly taking notice . 
the scenery of miami no longer exacts the same excitement from joe as before . 
the world seems smaller to joe now ; the termination of his journey coincides with the termination of his american dream . 
no longer does joe aspire to be the enterprising gigolo ; he resolves to return to a normal job and resign to basic means . 
midnight cowboy presents two familiar incarnations of the american dream . 
there is the frontier fantasy that if you are brave enough to repel a few indians , you can set up a ranch out west and raise a beautiful family . 
then there is the jay gatsby dream that a man of humble stock , with perseverance , can make a fortune in the big city . 
joe's attempt to realize these dreams robs him of his innocence in texas and morality in new york . 
during his search for an intangible paradise , joe ends up raping a girl and killing a man . 
an allegory of chasing the promise of the american dream , joe buck's progressive moral atrophy is a warning against the pursuit of illusory icons . 
"
"1","metro i've seen san francisco in movies many times . 
there was 1994's interview with the vampire and most recently the rock . 
now , yet again , san francisco is the setting for this movie . 
eddie murphy stars as inspector scott roper of the sfpd . he is their top hostage negotiator , and the very best at what he does . 
when his best friend on the force is killed by joe ( michael wincott , in a terrific performance ) , a psychotic , demented jewel thief , roger makes it his mission to capture the guy before he strikes again . 
meanwhile , roper tries to rekindle a relationship with his british ex-girlfriend veronica , while helping to rear a new up and comer from swat who's an expert sniper and marksman ( michael rappaport ) . 
despite the obligatory cop movie scenes ( does every cop/new partner movie have to start the same way ? ) 
where the sgt . 
assigns roper a partner , roper confronts the sarge , etc . , this film is still one heck of an explosive ride . 
a scene involving a cable car has to be seen to be believed , and boasts some amazing car stunts . 
eddie murphy shines in this tailor-made role , and for once , his character shows depth and concern . 
when confronting joe in prison , you can feel the anger drip from every word . 
michael rappaport is basically throwaway . 
he serves no purpose , except to be buddy to murphy and get disabled in the final reel so that eddie can save the day . 
typical action escapist fare . 
michael wincott offers the best performance as the crazed killer and jewel thief joe . 
never before have i seen such a villian written like this where i could actually believe that he was serious and take him seriously . 
maybe i just thought that this role was different due to wincott's perfectly raspy voice . 
i don't know . 
what i do know , though , is that although metro is basically a typical action retread , it manages to cover new ground and shed new light on tired old cliches' . 
the film is a triumph , and an entertaining one at that . 
it doesn't meander or trail off from its main character . 
an enjoyable two hours , metro is enjoyable , witty , action-packed , and fun , and makes for a great action movie that's perfect for all of us that need an escape from reality . 
"
"1","susan granger's review of "" hearts in atlantis "" ( castle rock/warner bros . ) 
timing is everything , and the timing just seems right for this poignant psychological drama that combines the coming-of-age nostalgia of "" stand by me "" with the mystical power of "" the green mile . "" 
based on stephen king stories adapted by screenwriter william goldman and directed by scott hicks , it's set in 1960 in harwich , connecticut , where fatherless 11 year-old bobby garfield ( anton yelchin ) lives in a boarding house with his resentful , self-centered mother ( hope davis ) . 
he's devoted to his neighborhood friends ( mika boorem , will rothhaar ) but his pivotal relationship is with a strange , new tenant , ted brautigan ( anthony hopkins ) who opens the world of literature to him after his selfish mother refuses to buy him a birthday gift and hands him , instead , a library card . 
knowing he's longing for a schwinn bike , ted offers to pay him $1 a week to read him the local newspaper and keep his eyes peeled for signs of the malevolent , ominous low men who are chasing him to exploit his special powers . 
the story structure consists of one long flashback , framed by the present , featuring the adult bobby ( david morse ) , minimizing the supernatural elements while emphasizing the human drama hopkins' mysterious character is genteel , sensitive and benignly seductive . 
the only explanation is that he's a psychic who is wanted by the fbi to aid in their hunt for communists and even that seems appropriate , given the inexplicable state of the world right now . 
the production values and performances are solid , particularly hopkins - arguably the finest , most versatile actor of our era - and the children with whom he forges a firm bond . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" hearts in atlantis "" is a wistful , enigmatic 8 , evolving with subtle power to an emotionally effective catharsis . 
"
"1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
floating life , australia's first-ever submission to the academy of motion picture arts & sciences for consideration in the best foreign language film category ( its dialogue is in cantonese , english , and german ) , marks a special accomplishment by clara law . 
a compelling , at times poignant film , it manages to maintain its truthfulness while teetering between comedy and melodrama . 
floating life centers around a hong kong family's sense of dislocation and loss of identity after moving to australia in order to avoid the communist takeover of hong kong , and is divided into clearly defined vignettes , each chapter labelled with title cards pertaining to houses , which serves to emphasize the film's theme of family . 
the film opens with mr . and mrs . chan ( edwin pang , cecilia fong sing lee ) and their two teen sons ( toby wong , toby chan ) leaving the bustling , claustrophobic metropolis of hong kong to join their second daughter bing ( annie yip ) in australia . 
with their spacious , immaculately-white new house and the vast abundance of neighbourhood greenery , the chans initially find this serene new land a strange and wonderous one , and - with neurotic bing cooly remarking about the possible dangers of australian life ( killer dogs , poisonous spiders , dangerous ultraviolet rays ) - a frightening one . 
this sets up a wonderfully amusing scene early in the film where the four immigrants , aimlessly ambling about their new suburban neighbourhood , are sent scrambling by the yelps of a little white puppy . 
the tone set up early in the film is broadly comic , and one expects floating life to depict the clash of cultures as the chans struggle to acclimatize themselves to the new ways of australian life as they integrate themselves into australian society ( a scene where the two teen sons meet up with a sunbathing neighbourhood girl is left dangling ) , but the film suddenly veers towards an introspective and melodramatic tone . 
floating life shifts its focus away from the exploits of the new immigrants and towards bing's domineering of her newly-reunited family , setting out a set of stringent and oppressive rules which create tremendous tension within the household and threaten to fracture the family . 
meanwhile , elder daughter yen ( annette shun wah ) , happily settled in germany with her husband and young daughter , begins to suffer an identity crisis , manifesting itself with her claims to her patiently exasperated husband that their new home is cursed with bad feng shui , and further exacerbated upon hearing of the familial conflict down under . 
among the dramatic threads of floating life , this is perhaps the most effective and engaging , with an interesting set of characters and a storyline which generates a genuine emotional punch . 
the one misguided vignette in floating life involves eldest son gar ming ( anthony wong ) , left behind in hong kong to resolve various affairs on behalf of his family and to await his immigration papers before rejoining his parents and brothers in australia . 
emotionally detatched and aimlessly drifting , his is an uncompelling character , and consequently subsequent attempts to draw out pathos are uninvolving and ineffective . 
his desperate search for emotional fulfillment is depicted by philosopical droning on the exquisite peak of an orgasm , which quickly becomes tedious . 
ms . law's film cheerfully embraces melodrama - each of the major vignettes feature excessively emotional climaxes which i couldn't help but find reminiscent to wayne wang's acutely unsubtle the joy luck club - but despite the director's rather clear attempts to tug at the heartstrings , i couldn't help but be touched by a powerful and affecting soliloquy delivered masterfully by cecilia fong sing lee which truly packs an emotional wallop and , in dramatic terms , is certainly the highlight of floating life . 
floating life at times spreads itself too thin ; given the myriad of characters involved , it could either stand to delve into each vignette a little deeper , or narrow its focus to a select group of key characters . 
however , it is a fine film , with a thoughtful and insightful screenplay by clara law and husband eddie ling-ching fong , and some superb acting by a cast consisting almost exclusively of non-actors ( special note is to be made of cecilia fong sing lee , annette shun wah , and a short but dazzling performance by an actress who portrayed gar ming's girlfriend from vancouver ) . 
floating life is ultimately about the ties that bond a family together , which are able to withstand great distances and new environments . 
"
"1","plot : a peculiar french girl grows up lonely with her father and doesn't quite know what she wants out of life . 
one day , she falls upon something , and believes that her ticket to happiness may be in helping others . 
she starts with the people around her , but when she suddenly falls for her own guy , she can't act strongly enough because of her shy and dreamy nature . 
critique : a clever , quirky , original french flick set in a picturesque paris , featuring an endearing lead with a giant imagination , much loneliness and a little bit of love for everyone . 
this is a "" feel-good "" kind of movie , a fairy tale for grown-ups who are bummed out about life . 
it doesn't pretend to be deep , it doesn't weigh itself down with long expositions or intricate studies of its characters , it's basically just a "" cute movie "" in the same vein as chocolat and pay it forward , with some amazing visuals and incredibly nice intentions ( and if chocolat was somehow able to nab an oscar nomination for best picture last year ( a sham on so many different levels ) , you might as well slap this film up for consideration also , since it's quite a bit better and much more original than the former ) . 
one thing that this film isn't though , at least according to me , is the best film of the year ( it was bestowed the honor of "" best "" in at least 3 different film festivals so far this year ) . 
it actually managed to stagnate a little bit about halfway through and it just went on for way too long ( it's a little over two hours but it felt even longer ) , with much of the second half of the movie devoted to many different characters , all of whom weren't as interesting as the lead , and a lot of indecisiveness from ms . amelie herself , which got frustrating . 
thankfully , this film doesn't bog itself down with too much of that stuff , and actually goes out of its way to invent new ways to shoot scenes , to integrate moments of fantasy into its fabric and to transport the audience inside the imagination of this kind-hearted french girl . 
on the whole , it's a lot of fun and it carries a beautiful message of love and support for your fellow man . 
the lead , audrey tautou , is perfect for the role , and gives you enough moments of truth to develop her character into someone that you care about by the end of the film . 
unfortunately , the rest of the cast isn't as well-developed , and even though most of them are pretty appealing , a couple could've been left out to save time and at least one was left stranded plot-wise , by the film's end ( what happened to the guy in the caf ? who was spying on his ex-girlfriend the whole movie ? ) . 
now i haven't seen too many recent french films , i will admit , but if this is the kind of "" scene "" that they're developing over in "" le pays du vin "" , i wouldn't mind catching more of their flicks in the future ( crimson rivers was another french film that i saw earlier this year , which i really liked- ironically , that film was directed by mathieu kassovitz , who is the co-star in this film ) . 
granted , the english subtitles got a little tough to keep up with at times ( i speak and understand french also , but some of the local colloquialisms went over my head ) , especially since the film's visuals were so intriguing that you just couldn't help but constantly gawk at them , but the general idea , the background music , the nifty french neighborhoods , the very creative way of enveloping the audience into the story-line from the start , were all very easy to appreciate , and i for one was especially glad to have seen this movie during these trying times in the world . 
in fact , i'd recommend it to anyone looking for a jolly ol' time at the movie house , with a particular emphasis on folks with a lot of imagination , a little loneliness in their lives and many dreams in their hearts . 
and this guy directed alien : resurrection ? 
get outta here ! ! 
note : i especially loved the way that the script detailed and showed the loves/hates of everyone with exact mentions in the film . 
it was very original , very well shot and very nostalgic , as many of us were able to relate to the behaviors described . 
good stuff ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
chocolat ( 6/10 ) - crimson rivers ( 8/10 ) - ghost world ( 9/10 ) - like water for chocolate ( 8/10 ) - o brother , where art thou ( 7/10 ) - pay it forward ( 5/10 ) - rushmore ( 9/10 ) - woman on top ( 7/10 ) 
"
"1","eric rohmer's "" pauline at the beach , "" is one of those small , deliberately paced , but charming foreign films in which not much happens plot wise , but a lot happens to the characters emotionally . 
the film takes place during a few weeks of august at the normandy coast , and centers on six different characters , primarily pauline ( amanda langlet ) , a wise beyond her years 15-year-old who has come to stay for the summer with her older cousin , marion ( arielle dombasle ) . 
on the first day at the beach , marion runs into an old high school flame ( fedoore atkine ) , and although he wants to rekindle their relationship , she is more interested in an older , more seductive womanizer ( pascal greggory ) , who is also secretly having an affair with a candy vendor ( rosette ) . 
while pauline watches as an outsider at what is happening between all of the adults , she forms a relationship of her own with a young teenage boy ( simon de la brosse ) . 
 "" pauline at the beach , "" is not a film in which big dramatic things occur , and there is not a clear-cut , tidy conclusion to the story . 
instead , it is a picture that simply observes its characters in every day life , and the surprises come from little character details . the film is quite talky and slow moving , and so it is pretty safe to say it isn't for those who are only a fan of action movies , but is a treat for those viewers who often like to venture outside of the big-budget genre and see a good art film . 
this is the first film by acclaimed director eric rohmer ( 1969's "" my night at mauds , "" and 1971's "" claire's knee "" ) that i have seen , but his direction is assured and intelligent , as is the screenplay , which he also wrote . 
 "" pauline at the beach , "" is a film worth seeing . 
"
"1","after a rather disappointing "" mary railly "" , stephen frears is now officially back in business with a comeback worthy of praise . 
this is one of the best surprises of this season -- a sweet , small budget comedy with a big heart . 
in fact it's not even a comedy . 
it's a drama or even more precise -- a clever satire on human relationships and needs . 
based on a 1995 critically acclaimed novel by british author nick hornby , ``high fidelity'' is a wry and likable story about a man's quest for fulfillment and happiness . 
rob gordon was a dj . 
it seems that he could make everything spin -- except his own life . 
now he owns championship vinyl , a little musical store , somewhere in new york . 
when he suddenly gets dumped by his girlfriend , a gorgeous blond attorney , life suddenly looses every purpose . 
decimated , humiliated and on the verge of a mental ( and emotional ) breakdown , he starts meditating over his life and the way it could have been -- about what's right and what's important . 
he starts "" categorizing "" life , dividing it into "" top 5 lists "" . 
and the most important is the "" top 5 list "" over the most painful breakups of his life , starting with 5th grade , when he found his young girlfriend with another boy . 
though you might think that people change , grow more mature with age , it just doesn't seem that way and all rob's relationships were different versions of that first . 
where did he go wrong ? 
was it he that screwed up ? 
or maybe life just stinks ? 
while he is lost in his own self-pity , he must think of the "" top 5 list "" over his needs for the future , find the right elements and mix his life together . 
with clever parallels to the cult of celebrity , music and with incredibly direct narration , it addresses the average audience member , in other words -- people like you and me . 
although a lot of this honor should be addressed to the screenwriter ______ and frears , the director , the acting is equally important as the written word . 
and here john cusack should absolutely be mentioned . 
he is simply superb . 
it is as much his movie as it is frears' . 
the film would not be the same without him . 
cusack -- whose character is sadder , wiser and 35 -- brings intelligence and warmth to post- mod irony . 
most of his dialogue is delivered directly to the camera -- not an easy task -- but cusack pulls it off . 
his interpretation feels so emotionally right , so incredibly realistic and precise that frears' message simply can't be ignored or overseen . 
the other members of the cast do an equally remarkable job . 
both ______ and jack black are fabulous . 
even catherine zeta jones appears in a role where she actually acts , not just looks beautiful . 
however , the most unexpected pleasant surprises is provided by todd louiso who delivers a spectacular comic performance as rob's co-worker and friend dick . 
this is such an impressive achievement that it's almost worth a oscar-nomination . 
he is simply a joy to behold . 
otherwise , everyone are in their place , and at the right time -- all part of frears' colorful blend . 
pretty much like edward norton's "" keeping the faith "" , this film doesn't follow any formula or belong to any genre -- it's dramatic , tragic , sarcastic , comic and even cynical , but never bitter or angry . 
it's a little bit of everything , pretty much like life itself . 
nothing seems unreal or staged . 
it reflects reality as a mirror . 
as you watch it , you go through the same emotional problems as the main character . 
you feel and think and reflect . 
this effect has become a rarity nowadays . 
although it's primarily about the perils of love , ``high fidelity'' is secondarily about pop music . 
rob owns championship vinyl and his employees , timid dick ( todd louiso ) and overbearing barry ( jack black ) , are fellow music snobs . 
music is the language in their lives , the measure by which they define themselves and mark the significant events of their lives . 
and so does the movie . 
it is as much a musical film as anything else , as rob's journey is wonderfully portrayed through carefully inserted musical fragments . 
in the end , you have gained something while watching it . 
it's not the film of the century or even of the year . 
it's not an special effects extravaganza . 
it doesn't require big explosions or digital creatures to succeed . 
it's a small movie about the big things . 
and even though it does not contain heavy philosophy , you feel as if you have experienced something of significance , and you will experience that nice warm feeling for quite some time . 
"
"1","plot : a group of asbestos cleaners get a job removing the gunk from an old insane asylum . 
as each day passes , the crew members begin to discover things about the place and themselves which set other things in motion . 
saying anything else about the plot would be a crime . 
have fun . . . 
critique : "" i feel like shooting myself in the head "" are the first words that came out of my mouth after seeing this movie , a good indication as to what kind of film to expect here . 
this ain't your average "" happy go lucky "" kind of picture . 
this is a deliberately slow-paced mystery-horror film drenched in atmosphere , with a very creepy insane asylum ( in which most of the film takes place ) , very few clues up-front and lots to talk about afterwards . 
will it bore some people to sleep ? 
you bet it will ! 
is it made for the scream audiences of the day ? 
absolutely not ! 
i guess you can describe this film as a horror movie for the "" cerebral crowd "" . 
a film that patiently unwraps itself frame after frame , giving away very little with each step and each sound , unwinding itself until its final scenes offer up a world of revelations and plenty more to discuss later . 
i've always loved movies that have me talking about them afterwards like the shining and lost highway and this film fits right into that group . 
in fact , i guess i can pussyfoot around the actual word all i want but the best way to describe this kind of movie is a "" mindfuck "" . 
if you feel like watching a movie that moves very slowly , gives you a handful of characters with divergent backgrounds , tosses a few very ambiguous and supernatural cookies your way and is extremely disturbing once you put it all together , well , then this movie is definitely for you ! 
it's the kind of film that you actually have to see twice to fully appreciate ( damn , i missed that whole "" peanut butter "" thing ! ) and one that will likely creep the shit out of you if watched alone in the dark . 
 "" brrrrrrrrr . . . now 
what was that sound in the basement ? 
honey , can you go check ? "" 
and one thing this film doesn't have , unlike its hollywood-ian counterparts like the haunting , is special effects . 
in fact , that's one of the greater things about this movie : it feels real because it looks like it's actually taped on video with very credible actors in very credible circumstances ( i did some research and it was , in fact , shot on digital video . . . ah-ha ! ) . 
another great thing about it is that it's actually very gory and somewhat violent in theme , and yet we rarely see anything of the sort on the big screen ( it's mostly implied , kids ! ) . 
and as clich ? d as it might be to say . . . it's usually much scarier when stuff is left to our imagination or implied in movies as such . 
other films that this one reminded me of include henry : portrait of a serial killer and the blair witch project , with that same real sense of dread , brooding and terror . 
the film does however move awfully slow and if you really don't get "" into "" it completely ( you really need to concentrate here ) , you will lose the motion of the story and the pent-up tension might be released . 
but overall , this film is yet another great example of the horror genre making a very cool comeback this year with no tight tanktops in sight . 
and with david caruso acting like the king hotshot like only he can , how can you go wrong ? 
definitely not a film for everyone but a must-see for anyone looking to throw themselves into the psyche of the disturbed ( count me in ! ) . 
stanley kubrick would be proud ! 
oh yeah . . . so 
where's that gun again . . . ? 
where's joblo coming from ? 
the blair witch project ( 4/10 ) - blair witch 2 ( 7/10 ) - the haunting ( 3/10 ) - the house on haunted hill ( 7/10 ) - lost highway ( 10/10 ) - the pledge ( 6/10 ) - the shining ( 9/10 ) - the sixth sense ( 8/10 ) - unbreakable ( 8/10 ) 
"
"1","hedwig and the angry inch ( 2001 ) john cameron mitchell , miriam shor , stephen trask , michael pitt , theodore liscinski , michael aronov , andrea martin , maurice dean wint , ben mayer-goodman . 
animation by emily hubley . 
adapted from the stage play by john cameron mitchell and stephen trask . 
music and lyrics by stephn trask . 
written and directed by john cameron mitchell . 
91 minutes . 
rated r , stars ) 
had "" hedwig and the angry inch "" came out in the '70s , right after david bowie's "" ziggy stardust , "" it likely would now be regarded as one of the most popular rock musicals of all time . 
released in the 500 channel , sensory overload world of 2001 , however , the big screen adaptation of the acclaimed off-broadway musical must do battle with countless other productions clamoring for attention . 
i almost missed it . 
every august , the major studios try to squeeze the last few dollars out of summer moviegoers by dumping all of their shakier offerings on the marketplace at once . 
i was so busy trying to keep up with national releases like "" summer catch "" and "" bubble boy "" that i passed over any independent film that looked like it would only have a short local run . 
but an e-mail from a reader asking why i hadn't reviewed the movie prompted me to make a late evening trip to the theater . 
thank goodness for readers like him . 
 "" hedwig and the angry inch "" is a gender-bending glam-rock spectacular packed with great songs . 
stylistically , the hook-laden tunes are reminiscent of bowie , "" bat out of hell "" era meatloaf and "" the rocky horror show , "" without ever seeming like imitations . 
as with "" tommy , "" "" hedwig "" tells a story of isolation , pain and defiance , but without the bloated feel of that beloved , but overrated rock opera . 
writer-director-star john cameron mitchell and composer-lyricist stephen trask have cooked up a real winner . 
mitchell stars as hedwig , a singer from east berlin touring a chain of u . s . coffee shops with her pan-slavic band , the angry inch . 
while the patrons of the run-down restaurants look on in shock , and sometimes horror , hedwig boldly tells the sad story of her life in song . 
she was once a boy named hansel ( ben mayer-goodman ) , living with his mother ( alberta watson ) and listening to rock and roll on american armed forces radio . 
life is an exercise in duality for hansel . 
a wall splits his hometown into two parts . 
mother describes love as the emotion that comes when you find your other half . 
as hansel grows up , the duality becomes more pronounced . 
after initially mistaking him for a girl , a gi from the states ( maurice dean wint ) falls in love with hansel and wants to marry him . 
alas , hansel will never pass the mandatory physical . 
mother helpfully suggests a sex change , but the operation goes bad , hence the references to "" the angry inch "" ( yes , i know this part is squirm-inducing , but stick with me - it's worth it ) . 
several years later , mr . right is long gone and hansel becomes hedwig , decked out in a farrah fawcett-style wig and fronting a band made up of korean women . 
hedwig finds a new love in tommy ( michael pitt ) , a beatific lad with a unique take on christianity . 
but tommy does hedwig wrong , stealing her songs and becoming a superstar . 
cut to the present . 
tommy gnosis' stadium tour is thriving and hedwig is suing him . 
despite warnings from her manager ( andrea martin ) that she could easily be labeled a stalker , hegwig and her new band , the angry inch , continue their coffee shop tour , shadowing the thief by playing whatever city he is in . 
if this sounds like a bizarre premise for a rock musical , take a few seconds and consider the plotlines of "" tommy "" and "" rocky horror . "" 
as hedwig , john cameron mitchell does a magnificent job taking a character that could have simply been a caricature or an icon and turning her into a compelling human being . 
mitchell has world-class style and vocal chords to match . 
even though the backstory is unusually strong , mitchell never forgets that the production is first and foremost a rock musical . 
everything is propelled by one terrific song after another and , trust me , these are full-fledged rock songs , not the over-processed fluff that passes for rock in most musicals . 
while mitchell remains in the center of the stage throughout the film , there is much of interest on the sidelines . 
miriam shor does fine work as yitzhak , hedwig's lover and bandmate , conveying a great deal through expressions alone . 
decked out in a bandanna and a surprisingly convincing beard , she makes a mighty attractive man . 
as always , "" sctv "" veteran andrea martin is a welcome presence onscreen and michael pitt is beguiling as tommy , the angelic-appearing little rat . 
artist emily hubley adds to the magic with a string of dandy animated sequences that charm the eye while underlining the central themes of the musical . 
 "" hedwig and the angry inch "" surrounds a weird , funny and touching story with a knockout series of songs performed by an exceptional cast . 
true originals do not come along very often ? don't let this slip out of town without seeing it . 
"
"1","with many big-budget science fiction films , great ideas are often wasted by bad scripts , cheesy plot twists , and , terrible acting . 
the fifth element , the abyss , and godzilla had great concepts squandered by bad acting , writing , or both . 
at first glance , the matrix , larry & andy wachowski's sci-fi/kung-fu/shoot-em-up spectacular , looks like a prime candidate to join the list of high-concept bad movies , especially with dopey keanu reeves in the leading role . 
but despite high levels of cheese and gaudy dialogue , the matrix works . 
it's an uncanny blend of action and surreal fantasy that borrows from dozens of other films ( most obviously the terminator films , star wars , and total recall ) , but remains refreshingly original and interesting throughout . 
reeves plays neo , a computer hacker who stumbles into an initially bewildering set of encounters with "" trinity "" ( carrie-anne moss ) , a rival hacker who has supernatural powers and stunning good looks , a unseen , omniscient cult figure known as "" morpheus "" ( lawrence fishburne ) , and a trio of creepy men in dark suits who act like irs agents from hell . 
neo quickly learns that the world he has known all his life is not what it seems . 
moreover , he discovers that the grim , bleak world he is introduced to has been waiting for him to save it . 
neo is reluctant to assume the role of messiah , with grave doubts that he is actually "" the one "" prophesized to come and save the world . 
reluctant or not , what follows is a mix of hong kong-style slow-motion shootouts , surreal dream sequences , high speed chases , and comic book kung-fu fights . 
the film also raises interesting philosophical questions about reality . 
how exactly do you know what is real and what is in your mind ? 
and if the real world were much harsher and grim than a fantasy one you were living in , would you want to face the true world or continue to live in a more comfortable illusion ? 
unfortunately , the matrix doesn't provide many answers to the questions it raises , but at least it puts some ideas behind all the explosions , shoot-outs , and flying roundhouse kicks . 
perhaps stealing the entire show in the matrix is australian actor hugo weaving , who plays agent smith , the leader of the creepy agents in sunglasses and suits who seem capable of being anywhere and doing anything to stop neo and friends from destabilizing the matrix . 
weaving's stony appearance , deadpan voice , and chilling comments put a grim human face on the haunting , evil technological force that controls the matrix . 
like robert patrick as the shapeshifting t-1000 terminator in terminator 2 : judgement day , weaving is more frightening than any monstrous alien or homicidal robot because , despite his power and seeming invincibility , he looks ordinary , even scrawny . 
weaving embodies his role with a memorably chilling presence . 
the film features some truly breathtaking special effects and stylish cinematography . 
it seems to be deliberately kitchy , with stylized fight sequences directed by hong kong stunt specialist wo ping that reportedly required months of martial arts training by the actors . 
in a few scenes , the posing and posturing is unintentionally funny . 
just seeing keanu reeves engaging in serious kung fu is a bit jarring . 
however , with the comic-book style and tone of the film , you can sustain willing disbelief long enough to enjoy the ride without losing patience . 
the matrix isn't a classic . 
its open-ended and confusing conclusion raises more questions than it answers . 
it fails to resolve many of its own plot twists and philosophical questions . 
it also relies on some conventional sentimentality to save the hero - the kind of shmaltzy feel-good goo that most of the film avoids . 
reportedly , the producers have high hopes for the film being the first in a trilogy and have already begun work on the story for the sequel . 
unfortunately , audiences deserve a little more than a vague sense that the story will continue in the future . 
the matrix is an fun , enjoyable diversion , like a big puff of cotton candy at a carnival . 
just don't be surprised half an hour later when you still feel a little hungry . 
"
"1"," "" the deep end "" uses a color palette of rich earth tones surrounded by a vast array of blues . 
alluring , attractive blues , but also icy and foreboding . 
after taking in their beauty , the eye seeks out the reassuring browns and greens , like a tired swimmer searching for the safety of land . 
the production works that way as well ? it pulls you in initially as a crisp , thoroughly-modern thriller , with clipped exchanges between defiantly non-communicative characters . 
but the real draw of the film is the submerged humanity of two key players as "" the deep end "" gradually reveals the melodramatic core beneath its ironic candy coating . 
spoiler alert : the following reveals the basic storyline . 
i believe the plot points are incidental , because the real rewards come in exploring the mindset of the main characters , but still , you should proceed at your own risk . 
with her husband tom , a naval officer , often away at sea , margaret hall ( tilda swinton ) holds down the fort , taking care of the children , beau ( jonathan tucker ) , paige ( tamara hope ) , and dylan ( jordon dorrance ) , while her father-in-law jack ( peter donat ) hovers in the background , always watching . 
the story opens with margaret leaving the family home in lake tahoe to storm a male strip club in reno . 
it seems that beau , her eldest , is having an affair with darby reese ( josh lucas ) , a disreputable sort 12 years his senior . 
margaret demands that darby leave her son alone , only to have the man smirk at her and announce he'll be glad to steer clear of beau ? for $5000 . 
back at home , she tries to talk about it all with her son , but the kid won't even confirm that he's gay , let alone discuss the issues she has with his boyfriend . 
he does , however , get attentive when she reveals darby's $5 , 000 offer , even as he maintains his sullen demeanor . 
late in the evening , darby shows up outside , tossing pebbles at beau's window like a schoolchild . 
the two meet by the water at the boathouse , where something important happens . 
i won't reveal what ; suffice to say we become aware of a significant fact that margaret does not . 
all of this happens in the first few minutes of the movie , by the way . 
within a day or so , margaret's life becomes even more complicated when a suave man named alec goran visnjic ) turns up with an explicit videotape documenting the sex life of beau and darby . 
he and his associate are willing to destroy the tape , once margaret coughs up $50 , 000 . 
oh , what's a mother to do ? 
end spoilers 
written , directed and produced by scott mcgehee and david siegel ( "" suture "" ) , "" the deep end "" is based on elisabeth sanxay holding's 1940's novel , "" the blank wall , "" which was also the source of the 1949 film , "" the reckless moment . "" 
i've neither read the book nor seen the movie , but i understand that the filmmakers changed some details . 
in holding's story , the "" scandalous "" relationship is between an older man and margaret's teen-age daughter . 
switching the gender makes the tale seem more contemporary , and it also raises questions about margaret's motives . 
many reviews of "" the deep end "" describe margaret as a mother ferociously protecting her son , but i wonder . 
consider this : margaret lives in a meticulously kept upscale home . 
her husband is absent most of the time and seems to be regarded as a larger-than-life figure . 
her father-in-law is constantly present , almost as if he is monitoring for his son . 
and when her husband does call , margaret is careful not to tell him about anything disturbing that is going on with the family . 
so is margaret a mother who accepts her son's sexual orientation and is simply trying to shield the young man from a lover she fears will take advantage of him ? 
or is she caretaker of a museum of upper middle class complacency , desperate to maintain the status quo so that everything will be postcard perfect when the old man returns from the sea ? 
you sort it out . 
regardless , the resonance of "" the deep end "" comes from two actors . 
goran visnjic , best known from the tv drama "" er , "" is striking as a blackmailer unlike any you've seen before . 
he engages margaret in a mesmerizing dance of protocol , chivalry and simmering eroticism . 
but the star of this show , without a doubt , is the remarkable tilda swinton . 
watch the shadings , depth , resource , vitality and understated sexuality she gives margaret and try to imagine the film without her . 
days after my second viewing of "" the deep end , "" i can still vividly picture her negotiating with villains , trying to connect with her son and diving into icy blue water . 
 "" the deep end "" is an exceptional film and tilda swinton is the best part of it . 
"
"1","warning ! : may contain some mild spoilers and offensive material . 
rated : r ( ! ) for sexual content , crude and sexual humor , and some nudity . . 
 ( a mild r rating ) 
starring : rob schneider , oded fehr , eddie griffin , arija bareikis , amy poehler , norm mcdonald . 
running time : 88 minutes 
 "" deuce bigalow : male gigolo "" is simply a hilarious good-natured comedy that may offend some , but underneath all it's crude humor and sexual content is a sweet little love story that is surprisingly involving . 
it isn't any kind of cinematic classic , but it's a very very funny comedy that keeps us entertained until the end credits which themselves are funny too . 
it has all it needs to be a breezy entertaining comedy : the acting is up to pace and some of the performances quite funny , the screenplay is witty and smart , and the whole story is sweet and cute . 
deuce bigalow ( rob schneider ) is your typically average guy : he cleans fish tanks for a living and gets an average of 10 bucks for it . 
though one might call him a loser , deuce gets a job he would never thought he would get . 
he gets to clean the tank for a male gigolo ( oded fehr ) and gets offered to watch over his place while he goes on a trip . 
trying to be like him he hangs upside down from a pole and accidentally pushes off the fishtank and burns his cabinets . 
the thing is now he has to try and find $6 , 000 dollars in three weeks to make sure everything looks right again . 
so he decides to go "" man-whoring "" and to his luck gets the oddest people on earth : an over-weight woman who decidedly wants to eat everything in site , a woman with narcolepsy who sleeps all the time , a woman who has sudden screaming outbursts , and a woman he can't stop thinking about . 
he charges $10 but he is willing to negotiate . 
from now on he is considered deuce bigalow : male gigolo . 
with non-stop laughs an a abundence of crude humor "" deuce bigalow : male gigolo "" is sometimes like last years hit "" there's something about mary "" that is offensive but very funny . 
the screenplay by harris goldberg and rob schneider himself is a smart , clever and witty screenplay that seems to have been written with care to make is so hilariously funny . 
the characters in the film are all actually likable especially "" jabba lady "" with her big body but soft heart . 
there are actually times in the movie where i fell out of my chair laughing so hard that my stomach was killing me . 
even though i thought "" toy story 2 "" and "" being john malkovich "" were the funniest of the year "" deuce bigalow "" follows right behind them . 
the directing by mike mitchell is fantastic and shows he took time on the film . 
rob schneider gives a surprisingly endearing performance and when his romance develops with one of his customers kate ( arija bareikis ) it is a sweet romance that we get involved in and actually like being involved in it . 
 "" deuce bigalow "" is a good-natured film worth all the merit it can get . 
its not a classic or a masterpiece , it's just a comedy that we don't feel bad about watching . 
sure it may come off as offensive and may come off as dumb sometimes , but you cannot deny that it isn't funny . 
 "" deuce bigalow : male gigolo "" is no disappointment . 
its a fast paced , entertaining sweet and hilarious comedy that may be destined to become a cult classic . 
fans of schneider will not be disappointed and fans of crude but nice comedies will not either . 
for some reason the film garnered an r rating but with no "" f words "" or extensive use of sexual content or explicit nudity i was really wondering why the film was r . a mild r to put it to the least , but even if your under 17 or above at least 13 this film is good enough for you to see . 
don't try to be one of those people who make so much of a film that they do not like it , just sit back , laugh and enjoy the movie . 
"
"1","underrated movies are a common reoccurrence in show business today . 
1998's 'hope floats' was extremely underrated and was one of the best movies of the year . 
we always get films that make big money at the box-office but critics and audiences pan on them . 
this year 'double jeopardy' is one of those films . 
critics are calling it predictable and worthless , audiences are disappointed with it and think it was a disappointment . 
but as i viewed 'double jeopardy' i found that it was a great movie , it has a surprising sense of humor and a big dose of heart , along with heart-pounding suspense and twists and turns here and there it certainly is a really good movie . 
the always wonderful ashley judd plays libby parsons , a woman with a seemingly normal life : a great loving husband , a beautiful son and a great friend . 
her husband nick parsons has made a surprise for her and is going to buy her the sailboat she has always wanted . 
after a night of bliss libby wakes up in the middle of the night to find blood all over her and all over the sailboat , her husband is missing and there is a bloody knife on deck . 
of course being in shock she picks it up and a coast guard comes over and sees her . 
however she isn't immediately ceased until they find out his life insurance was worth two-million dollars and they start to wonder rather she killed him for the money . 
she pleads not-guilty but is found guilty and sent to prison for six years . 
while making a phone call to her best friend who adopted her son for her and she hears him say hi to his dad , which makes libby's heart stop right there . 
she realizes she must get out and prove that he isn't dead , one of her cell-mates tells her that as long as she has been convicted of a crime she cannot be convicted of it again . 
which means she can shoot him in the middle of mardi gras and they cannot do anything about it . 
after she gets out she goes to a halfway house run by parole officer tommy lee jones . 
he is a man who has had his share of bad things . 
while out for the day she breaks into a school and tries to track down her kid and husband , leading up to some jaw-dropping twists that are both predictable and not . 
whatever happens the film was excellent to me . 
i found the writing well-written as well as the acting was great . 
ashley judd is such a talented and beautiful actress that she is a hero in a sort in this movie . 
even if you know what is going to happen in the end , you don't know how . 
this is one of those movies that you really do know what is going to happen , except you don't know how they are going to make it happen . 
it could be one way or another , it could be this way or that way . 
the movie is highly stylized and extremely well-made . 
it gets most of it's power from the two leads : ashley judd and tommy lee jones both give excellent performances . 
the characters are well-realized and believable and we feel libby's pain when she cannot see her child for 6 years . 
even though a lot of critics didn't like the film , i loved it . 
the director took his time making the movie , and put a lot of shadowing in the movie . 
i found it not to be boring at all and it's only flaw comes from some predictability . 
it moved at a fast pace , has suspense , humor , heart and great acting . 
it earns it's right to be a great movie and to me that's what it was . 
"
"1","as fairy tales go , cinderella has to be one of the most famous . 
almost everyone knows it , well at least in north america . 
so it is natural that someone will try to make a movie out of it . 
it has been done before with varying results . 
this version of the story is both similar to the original and different at the same time . 
the basic story remains unchanged but , one thing that seems to vanish with this version , and that is all the fantastical elements of the story . 
there is no fairy god mother or anything even remotely of that nature . 
after the fantastical elements are stripped away what is left is a realistic believable rendition of the cinderella story and an interesting love story at the least . 
 . 
unlike in the fairy tale , the prince plays a much larger part than just that of the masked ball at the end . 
the ? prince' , who happens to be the crown prince to the throne of france , meets 'cinderella' , known as danielle , on a few occasions , most coincidentally and he becomes smitten with her . 
although this seems to be a far cry from the traditional story it allows for the main plot to proceed with enough room for some imaginative story telling . . 
the story takes place in a renaissance setting ; in france , with leonardo da vinci providing some comic relief on more than one occasion . 
this addition of leonardo da vinci , was quite successful in that it added some color to the movie , since some of the roles are a bit stereotypical . 
for example the role that was scripted for the prince leaves a few things to be desired . 
for instance the character seems to be a bit too unstable and fickle , a crown prince should not be anything remotely like that . 
especially since he is portrayed to be in his mid twenties at the least and almost ready to take the throne . 
the characters of danielle ( cinderella ) played by drew barrymore , and that of the evil step mother , played by anjelica huston , are well developed and well played by the two women . 
although the part of danielle is a bit stretched it is not too unlikely and not totally unbelievable . 
the nuances of the character are brought out well by drew barrymore and from watching the movie it seems like she had fun making the movie . 
as a contrast the part of the evil step mother is clearly seen from the very beginning and is almost clique . 
but , anjelica huston seems to add a certain flair to the role that makes it suit the movie nearly perfectly . 
the actual story is fairly predictable since it is after all the basic story of cinderella , but there are more than enough twists in how the story is told to make it interesting and enjoyable . 
the acting is of high caliber and seems deserved of praise . 
all in all this movie takes you back into history , into a seemingly magical fairy land . 
but , don't get me wrong there is nothing but reality , it is just refreshing to watch a movie that is not based in a familiar setting with everyday familiar things happening . 
so although the story is basically familiar the world it is set in is not , and that adds a dimension to the film which in this humble reviewers opinion makes it worth seeing 
"
"1","it stands as a moment one will not soon forget : a giant , green ogre flips through the pages of a cliche fairy tale , narrating it with every bit of dull inspiration that the story holds . 
this leads one to believe that this serves as the prologue to shrek , dreamworks' second computer animated feature , but in a pricelessly hilarious bit of cinema , a page of this tale serves as that ogre's toilet paper . 
from this opening moment , one can infer shrek's defying of all expectations regarding it as a standard , disney-esque fairy tale . 
although rampant moments of hilarity dot shrek , the true charm of the film lies in the bold elements of friendship , courage , and acceptance , excelled by outstanding direction , stunning actor voice work , and most importantly , a witty screenplay with more going on than meets the eye . 
while shrek features an abundance of humor related directly toward adults , positive friendship values aimed at younger children fulfill the storyline : shrek , the previously mentioned ogre , holds a position of absolute nothingness within his community . 
the jolly green giant meets a fellow outsider , known only as the donkey ( his species ) who talks , and although he remains reluctant to warm up to him for a good portion of time , shrek eventually comes to a mutual understanding with him by acknowledging their common state as outcasts of the world . 
the pair team up to retrieve princess fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon for the powerful lord farquaad , learning quite a bit about each other and themselves along the way . 
their friendship exhibits the core theme of the need for someone to lean on , exemplifying to any child who may witness the film that acting as an honest companion can unquestionably affect someone . 
shrek and donkey endure as supposed freaks of nature due only to their differences from others but cling to each other for support and guidance along their journey . 
courage demonstrates itself within two major storylines : along the journey to rescue fiona , donkey's immeasurable cowardice reveals itself . 
whether he encounters walking over a shaky bridge or living alone , donkey withholds fears that he continuously puts aside without self-acknowledgment . 
but the yapping donkey must face his phobias when presented with the giant , fire-breathing dragon guarding fiona ; either he dies from terror or he triumphs with courage . 
he wisely chooses courage by pretending as if no dangerous situation actually faces him , allowing the donkey to overcome a horror that likely only continued due to his insistence of them . 
secondly , upon shrek's and donkey's redeeming of princess fiona , the ogre finds the princess has plans for whomever saves her : to satisfy her desire for a ( human ) knight in shining armor . 
throughout this storyline , shrek faces his deep , perpetual misgivings of inhering as an ogre and struggles to determine how he will reveal his true identity to fiona . 
an ongoing struggle occurs between himself and his reluctance of the truth , but eventually , shrek courageously conquers his fear by telling the forbidden secret to fiona . 
children can realize from donkey and shrek that fear remains only as complicated as one makes it ; if one sets his/her mind to overcoming something in particular , endless possibilities exist . 
after the friendships and courage prevail , the three central characters at the heart of shrek must take one more stretch of development : acceptance . 
surprisingly , fiona holds a dark secret of her own : due to a spell cast upon her years ago , she transforms into an ogre by night . 
in this storyline , fiona must learn to hold acceptance for herself , and she must realize what beauty truly means : to simply act as one's self . 
upon fiona's learning of shrek's desire to pursue a relationship with her , fiona , knowing that acceptance of herself serves as the only platform for her love with shrek to work , gives in to her inner demons of self-ridicule and hatred . 
any child can pull from fiona's transformation the meaning of beauty and the meaning of self-acceptance . 
on the technical side , shrek triumphs . 
directors adam adamson and vicky jenson pace shrek in a consistent and satisfying manner , evenly distributing the lessons learned by the central characters . 
these central characters spring to life thanks to brilliant voice work from mike myers ( shrek ) , eddie murphy ( donkey ) , and cameron diaz ( princess fiona ) . 
myers creates his shrek as a lovable and troubled ogre whose green color not only serves as a skin color but perhaps his envy of other , "" normal "" beings . 
murphy succeeds with his donkey through recreating the high-strung persona that so many know the actor to have off screen . 
cameron diaz exudes charisma and innocence as fiona , giving the princess/ogre a sense of power that many female characters in animated films lack . 
while the direction and voice work certainly elevate shrek , the ultimate factor in the film succeeding lies in the screenplay , written by ted elliott , terry rossio , joe stillman , and roger s . h . 
schulman . 
the script never underestimates the intelligence of the viewer , combining the three previously spoken of elements with humor for adults and children alike . 
capping it off with a constant tongue-in-cheek feel that pokes fun at classic disney animated features , the fresh and entertaining screenplay delivers . 
with shrek , dreamworks executive jeffrey katzenberg has certainly one-upped himself by creating an instant animated classic that will live on for ages to come . 
the smaller children will laugh and cheer ; the adults will laugh even harder and leave understanding much that their children did not . 
a film that breaks stereotypes and creates a definite standard of its own , shrek can certainly endure as one for the ages . 
"
"1","for a movie about disco-era excess , "" 54 "" comes up surprisingly short on the sleazy happenings at the titular late 1970s and early 1980s manhattan dance club . 
think of it as a sort of "" boogie nights "" -lite - where that similarly-structured and -set portrayal of the porn industry was loaded with salacious goings-on and skidded on a destructive midpoint tone shift , "" 54 "" leaves the kinkier details to your imagination . 
it never needlessly revels in its seedy subject matter , but it thankfully never resorts to preaching , either . 
in fact , were it not for the rampant drug use and the intermittent dark moment , "" 54 "" would be about as feathery as the time period's popular female hairstyle . 
studio 54 was a haven for the rich , famous and generally good-looking before it closed its doors forever in 1986 . 
inside , anything went and , we are told , everything did . 
the film's fictional main character is shane o'shea ( ryan phillippe , the jerky jock from "" i know what you did last summer "" ) , a fresh-faced 19-year-old who dreams of venturing beyond the club's velvet rope and coming face-to-face with the wild decadence he can only read about in magazines . 
his wish comes true when studio 54 owner steve rubell ( mike myers ) spots him amongst a crowd of gawkers one night in '79 and permits him passage - but not before he doffs his hideous shirt , of course . 
once inside , shane becomes seduced by the club's dizzying vortex of sex and drugs . 
he has such a good time that he doesn't want to leave , so he seeks employment as a busboy . 
he quickly becomes friends with greg ( breckin meyer ) and anita ( salma hayek ) , a married couple who work along side of him ; greg's a fellow busboy with aspirations to make the big money as a studio 54 bartender , while anita checks coats but desires a recording contract to call her own . 
after rubbing elbows ( among other things ) with a renowned socialite ( sela ward ) and gaining the personal interest of rubell , shane begins to ascend to the upper echelons of 54 . 
but fame doesn't come without a price . 
 "" 54 "" 's major shortcomings lie within its handling of the supporting players - at a slim hour-and-a-half , the film is too short to take on such a multi-character focus , and more than a few balls are dropped in the resulting juggling act . 
alleged last-minute edits and reshoots are more than likely to blame for the occasionally rushed development and ambiguous interaction , since "" 54 "" sometimes feels like it's missing a scene here or there . 
nowhere is this more apparent than in shane's relationship with soap opera actress julie black ( neve campbell ) , a frequent studio 54 patron whom he's long admired from afar . 
the romance is prodded along before it has a chance to transform into something special . 
that "" 54 "" works despite these limitations , then , is largely due to the competence and energy with which it's assembled . 
sure , it's shallow , slick , sanitized portrait of a bygone age , and sure , we've seen the rags-to-riches story gazillions of times , but debut director and screenwriter mark christopher keeps things moving with lively snapshots of the studio 54 hustle and bustle and an even livelier cast to inhabit his bouncy vision . 
the film boasts some fine comic creativity , the pinnacle of which is disco dottie ( "" the wedding singer "" 's ellen dow ) , an elderly dancing queen who plays the loving grandmother in public , but slides up to shane behind 54's closed doors and asks for a "" funky little treat . "" 
the solid , sexy cast smooths out - if only while you're caught up in the film - any rough spots belonging to their alter-egos or the plot . 
newcomer phillippe has the charisma and joisey accent down pat ; he and campbell , as fetching as ever , look so good together it's a shame their subplot goes nowhere . 
meyer exhibits the congenial appeal that made him a delight to watch in "" clueless "" ( he was the stoner with the joker-smile ) , while hayek simply sizzles , especially when leading a dance class with the mantra , "" one , two , three , attitude ! "" 
sherry stringfield , unidentifiable under big '70s hair , takes on her first big-screen gig since she left "" er "" as rubell's accountant , but she's criminally underused . 
as the droopy-eyed , drug-addled steve rubell , myers is worth the price of admission alone . 
when he's not playing the life of the party , the ex- "" saturday night live "" comedian strips away all of rubell's confidence and swagger to show a man desperately trying to fill his empty , unhappy life with exorbitance ; it's a moment worthy of pity when , while lounging on a bed of money and vomiting from a particularly heavy evening , he attempts to seduce one of his employees . 
and while his performance is largely serious , myers mixes the empathy with a delicate "" austin powers "" -esque wink , thus keeping consistent with "" 54 "" 's overall feel - gaudy , larger-than-life and satisfyingly ornamental , not unlike a giant disco ball . 
"
"1","in 1994 , an insider's look at a scandal-ridden run for the democratic presidential nomination ( closely based on clinton's 1992 campaign ) was written anonymously ( former newsweek writer joe klein later claimed true authorship ) . 
now , the book , primary colors , has been made into a movie , directed by mike nichols , and , in light of recent presidential scandals , seems to be more relevant than ever . 
but the film is more than a diatribe against , or a paean in praise of , the president . 
it is a fascinating look at the political machinery , and the ethical quagmire , that surround modern politics . 
jack stanton ( john travolta ) is the governor of a small southern state running for the democratic presidential nomination . 
he is charismatic , but has several flaws which threaten to doom his campaign , and strains his relationship with his wife , susan ( emma thompson ) . 
the film is told from the point of view of henry burton ( adrian lester ) , grandson of a civil rights leader , who is swept away by stanton's ideals and helps to organize the campaign . 
he joins political strategist richard jemmons ( billy bob thornton , looking an awful lot like james carville ) , and campaign advisor daisy green ( maura tierney ) . 
governor stanton's past repeatedly pops up to haunt him , a fact that his chief rival , lawrence harris ( kevin cooney ) , consistently uses to his advantage . 
to help clean up the stanton campaign , jack and susan bring in an old friend , libby "" the dustbuster "" holden ( kathy bates ) . 
the acting throughout primary colors is superb . 
it would be worth seeing the movie for bates' wild performance alone . 
she enlivens the atmosphere with energy in a truly boisterous performance . 
travolta does a fair clinton impersonation as governor stanton , although his accent does stray a little . 
emma thompson delivers a strong performance as his suffering wife who can't let anything show that might hurt the presidential run . 
the problem with political movies is that they tend to alienate over half of their audience by promoting one side or the other , or else the movie is vague to the point of boredom . 
primary colors treads lightly on this issue . 
though stanton is clearly portrayed as a democrat , and there are a few minor barbs thrown in the way of republicans , the movie touches on few actual political issues . 
in fact , most of the "" bad guys "" are fellow democrats on the same road to the white house . 
rather than issues , the film is primarily concerned about scandals and spin control . 
although the film strays into some obviously non-clinton territory , it is difficult to completely separate it from reality ( particularly when certain scenes seem to highlight the president's current troubles ) . 
primary colors' chief problem is its length . 
it runs about 15 minutes too long . 
there are some scenes which could have easily been cut . 
for example , midway through the film , the candidate gives a speech to an assembly of laid off machinists . 
the scene's only apparent purpose is to establish stanton's character , which has already been done in similar scenes earlier in the film . 
the extra length isn't long enough nor tiring enough to be annoying , but it mars an otherwise excellent film . 
republicans , democrats , and political agnostics should all be able to find something to like in primary colors . 
it's a funny , and at some times shocking , look at the modern political process . 
"
"1","this movie was one of the first american films done by director paul verhoeven . 
he has done films since then such as basic instict and starship troopers . 
all of his movies have one main thing in common- they don't skimp on the violence . 
in a verhoeven movie a guy doesn't get shot once in the chest- he gets shot many times all over the body . 
robocop takes place in detroit in the future . 
things are pretty bleak . 
the company ocp rules the city with an iron fist and is moving in on running the police force . 
peter weller plays a cop who goes on a mission with his partner , nancy allen . 
peter weller goes in an empty room alone and gets killed . 
meanwhile ocp has a failed demonstration of a ed-209 model robot crime fighter . 
someone comes up with the idea of having a cyborg robocop so they use any parts worth scalvaging from peter weller and make him into the robocop the movie is titled after . 
the plot of this movie generally runs at a decent pace . 
it drags a bit towards the end with robocop wanting to finish everybody off , but plot twists keep it exciting . 
the acting is bad from weller when he is human , but very good when he is robocop . 
nancy allen does a decent job . 
this movie doesn't leave itself open for a sequel exactly . 
but they made one anyway . 
enter . . . 
robocop 2 starring : peter weller and nancy allen directed by : irvin kershner 
detroit is in a more bleak state than it was in the first film . 
ocp is trying to develop an improved 'robocop 2' that will be more than a match for criminals . 
most of the police force is on strike due to ocp taking it over , leaving robocop to be the police force in the city . 
this film is pretty bizaare . 
it has a 13 year-old drug-lord who curses as much as eddie murphy , even more violence than the original , and some more humor . 
the plot of this movie is pretty large , almost too much so . 
there are three or four plot lines weaving around that don't really match up . 
the effects are still decent though . 
this sequel isn't more of the same really , just a darker version robocop dealing more with drugs than with armed criminals . 
if you liked the first one , watch this . 
but be dissapointed . 
so later comes . . . 
robocop 3 starring nancy allen and robert john burke 
ocp is now owned by a large japanese company . 
robocop joins a band of rebels to counter-attack the evil empire , i mean ocp . 
the japanese send a cyborg-ninja to deal with robocop . 
among other things . . . 
this movie is easier to follow than the last one . 
which means the plot isn't quite as crowded . 
this movie isn't anything special though . 
just more of robocop blasting things up in a more kid-friendly way . 
really not reccomended . 
"
"1","eyes wide shut isn't the masterpiece many were hoping to see in stanley kubrick's final film , but it is an impressive achievement ; a mesmerizing , haunting , adult psychodrama about marriage , fidelity and sex . 
it's a stanley kubrick film from beginning to end , consistently exhibiting the auteur's trademark penchant for long , continuous takes , his unparalleled deftness behind the camera and his uncanny ability to extract gorgeous performances from his exhausted cast ( indeed , eyes wide shut attained infamy even before its release for its notoriously laborious shoot : kubrick , a renowned perfectionist , reportedly held his cast "" hostage "" on the set for nearly a year ) . 
in an uncharacteristic maneuver , kubrick cast two big-name stars in the lead roles , namely real-life husband and wife tom cruise and nicole kidman . 
they play bill and alice harford , a volatile couple who , during the course of a couple nights , ponder the validity of the idea that a husband and a wife must be faithful to each other . 
he is an m . d . , she's unemployed and we are introduced to them as they are getting ready to go to a fancy party . 
at the affair , they are both propositioned and both nearly succumb to the temptation to play around with someone else . 
when they return to their lavish new york apartment kidman ( after smoking a dash of weed ) inquires whether her husband had sex with two models who approached him during the night . 
he ( truthfully ) says that he did not and asks what happened with that hungarian guy she was dancing with . 
they proceed to argue until alice tells her spouse a lustful story : evidently some time ago , she had a thing for a young naval officer . 
she admits that she was ready to give up her whole future with bill and their young daughter if this guy wanted her even for one night . 
bill is jolted by alice's story and we anticipate his reaction , but at that moment he gets a phone call and has to go "" show his face "" at the house of a just-deceased patient . 
this turns out to be the beginning of a long and eventful night on the town . 
the daughter of the dead patient hits on him but he wisely turns her down . 
he almost does the dirty deed with a kindly hooker who approaches him on the street . 
then , through a series of coincidences , he winds up at a gothic mansion where a ritualistic ( and frankly , creepy ) orgy takes place , with costumed people performing various public sex acts on each other . 
erotic dread mounts as cruise ( who's not supposed to be there ) wonders the spacious halls watching the "" action "" until he is discovered to be an outsider . 
much hoopla has been raised over the fact that warner bros . digitally edited the orgy scene . 
with the help of a computer , they put in cloaked figures to block some of the actual sex acts ( they can still be seen , just not in all their glory ) in order to avoid the dreaded nc-17 rating . 
european viewers will see the film as kubrick envisioned it . 
roger ebert calls the american version the "" austin powers version , "" and many others have bashed the alterations . 
i am of the potentially controversial opinion that the figures only supplement the scene's mystical atmosphere . 
the first thing one notices about eyes wide shut is how it looks . 
this is an artful , distinctively gorgeous production , shot in dark , moody hues and featuring some elaborate , beautiful scenery . 
from the giant mansion used in the film's centerpiece to the decor at the christmas party to the harford's apartment , this film is always a pleasure to look at . 
to boot , a great soundtrack makes it more atmospheric still . 
at the core , behind the graphic , controversial content and unappealing mood , this is a good-natured movie that emphasizes the importance of fidelity . 
it looks at sex as almost perfunctory by portraying it as unnerving rather than erotic . 
it's something superficial and yet something necessary to achieve a deeper relationship . 
at the end , it seems , bill's eyes are wide open to the special kind of love he and his wife have for each other , more meaningful than anything he could ever hope to find on the streets of new york . 
kubrick elicits wonderful performances from both cruise and kidman . 
tom is completely convincing as dr . harford , a man who seems guided solely by destiny , with no control of the course his life will take . 
nicole projects a quiet intensity as the jittery yet aggressive wife and her performance is stunningly effective : she's headed for an oscar nod . 
the movie has some help from a similarly strong supporting cast , at the head of which is director-cum-thespian sidney pollock , enigmatic and articulate as harford's mysterious friend . 
eyes wide shut is not perfect : the last hour could have used a slightly more scissor-happy editor and both cruise and kidman are too good- looking for me to believe that either would have a very strong temptation to philander . 
still , this is an important work from a great director , and while it may not be on par with some of stanley kubrick's best it is a worthy final film , a complex exploration of jealousy and faithfulness . 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov&#137 ; 
"
"1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
milos forman's first film since the ill-fated valmont , columbia's the people vs . 
larry flynt , is a vastly entertaining ( if not particularly enlightening ) biopic of hustler publisher and self-made millionaire larry flynt , who became an unlikely champion of freedom of speech rights in the united states in the late 1970s and early 1980s . 
the film unweaves its tale in a chronological order : we open with young and dirt-poor larry flynt and his brother jimmy , peddling jars of water in true entrepreneurial spirit out in the rural outback of kentucky . 
cut to forward in time , where the two flynt brothers , now young men , are running the struggling hustler go-go clubs in cincinnati . 
the strip clubs are in a dire financial state , and in a last-ditch effort to salvage the operations , flynt decides to go to a print shop and churn out a promotional newsletter . 
this evolved into the adult periodical _hustler_ magazine , creating larry flynt a vast financial empire , and the rest is history . 
what sets flynt apart from other publishers is his struggles against those who would have him cease publication of his adult material , and who railed and preached against him - flynt spent time in incarceration and was paralyzed by an assassination attempt - and his driven , single-minded insistence to buck the system and fight for his freedom of expression , regardless of personal cost . 
the people vs . 
larry flynt also weaves in the bittersweet story of flynt's true love , althea leasure , whom he meets as a dancer in his club and later marries , and who devotedly stands alongside him throughout his trials and tribulations . 
considering the serious nature of the film's theme - the importance of the united states' first amendment - the people vs . 
larry flynt is surprisingly and wonderfully light-hearted and humourous . 
much of the comedy is elicited from larry flynt's outlandish stunts at his courtroom appearances - some of his chosen apparel is hilarious - and for the most part these elements of the film work far better than some of the more dramatic points , such as an uninspiring flynt monologue set at a free speech rally in front of an enormous american flag dealing with the subjectivity of obscenity . 
the film's focus is on the flynt's many battles over first amendment rights and freedom of speech , but the heart of the people vs . 
larry flynt is the touching love story between flynt and althea . 
larry flynt is shown as being occassionally gruff , harsh , and overtly aggressive with his friends and colleagues , but with althea , we see his loving , affectionate side . 
there's a scene where flynt tenderly takes his ill wife on a ride on his wheelchair that is heartbreaking . 
ultimately , the emotional power that the film hits at its conclusion comes not from his achievements from his battles against censors , but from the strength of flynt and althea's love for each other . 
woody harrelson is entirely engaging in what must be certainly a career-topping performance as the irrepressible larry flynt . 
harrelson plays flynt with the right mixture of outrageousness and confident stubborness to make him endearing and entirely sympathetic to the audience , and a very compelling protagonist for the film . 
courtney love plays althea leasure in a startling turn , completely raw and impulsive . 
it's a very solid performance , brash and naturalistic , and love is extremely compelling ; it's difficult to take your eyes off her onscreen , and her chemistry with harrelson is dead-on . 
edward norton , as flynt's straight , level-headed lawyer is often upstaged by his flashier co-stars in the people vs . 
larry flynt , much as his counterpart lawyer alan isaacman was upstaged by flynt during many of the courtroom scenes , but norton shines in his big scene where he addresses the supreme court in the climactic scene of the film . 
one can sense the frustration that norton's character feels when harrelson's free-talking flynt sabotages trial after trial on him by openly speaking his mind , and this results in a heightened emotional punch when norton's isaacman has the opportunity to sway the supreme court judges . 
milos forman keeps the film moving - although it runs over two hours , it never drags - and his direction of the film is very effective , eliciting a great deal of empathy for a subject which could be construed by some as extremely sordid and unsympathetic . 
there's also a great visual technique which forman uses to indicate the passing of time in one shot , which is both clever and extremely entertaining . 
two minor quibbles with the film - it certainly seems like the people vs . 
larry flynt is in a rush to get to its main theme , with flynt battling against authorities and the system for his freedom of speech . 
consequently , the first thirty minutes of the film , introducing and setting up the characters , seem unduly rushed ; perhaps it is merely due to the fact that these characters are so interesting , but i felt it would have worked better if this route was taken in a more leisurely fashion . 
it also felt like there was a distinctive lack of insight into the inner workings of these characters - the film clearly shows what flynt , althea , isaacman , and rev . jerry faldwell did , and on a superficial level some of their motivations , but it never seemed like one could really understand the characters on a deeper level . 
for example , why larry flynt was compelled by ruth carter stapleton ( president carter's sister ) to be born-again is a mystery to me . 
then again , perhaps it was to him as well . 
these two points don't detract greatly from the film . 
the people vs . 
larry flynt is certainly among the very best studio-released films of 1996 , and works both as a ringing political statement about the importance of freedom of speech and the depths to which larry flynt would go to advance the cause of free expression , and as a touching love story . 
"
"1","until i saw the night of the hunter , it had been a long time since i had gasped while watching a movie . 
forget the others and the deep end ( which veered toward strained dramatics ) , the night of the hunter is by far the scariest movie i've seen so far this year . 
even though the movie is nearly 50 years old and there's a not drop of blood to be seen . 
luckily , the night of the hunter , charles laughton's first and final directing gig , has been restored by the ucla film and television archive and is being re-released in october 2001 . 
so , there's still plenty of time to spill your popcorn all over the place . 
robert mitchum stars as harry powell , a reverend with a nasty habit of courting and then killing widows for their cash . 
his newest target is young mother willa harper ( shelley winters ) , whose murderer husband ben ( peter graves ) has hidden $10 , 000 somewhere . 
powell finds out about the stash and decides to court mrs . harper after he's released and ben is hanged . 
but finding the money isn't easy for powell , who must contend with his stepchildren ( billy chapin and sally jane bruce ) , who know where the money is , but aren't telling . 
the hard part about seeing a classic now is the pop culture monster has usually drawn and quartered and then flaunted all the memorable moments , thus ruining the spontaneity and adventure when we finally watch it for the first time . 
how many spoofs or salutes to the shower scene in psycho have we seen in other movies ? 
what about the brilliant baby stroller sequence from battleship potemkin ? 
 ( no , i'm not blaming brian de palma entirely for this sampling problem . ) 
yes , there are some visual elements that other directors seem to have borrowed from the night of the hunter . 
powell's "" love "" and "" hate "" knuckle tattoos obviously influenced spike lee in do the right thing ( remember radio raheem ? ) . 
and powell's black suit , with black tie and white shirt , could have shaped quentin tarantino's early visual style . 
seeing the night of the hunter for the first time , i was amazed at how much it crackled with wicked wit and fright and how much intensity was intact . 
you can now sign me up as president of the robert mitchum fan club . 
he plays the role with a controlled malice that induces unease every time he appears . 
he's like the senior class president with an evil streak . 
if i ever need to stay awake , i'll just picture him crooning , "" leaning . . . 
leaning . . . . "" 
any actor who wants to play a character with a touch of evil should study his performance the way a rabbinical student studies the torah . 
and credit must be handed out to laughton and cinematographer stanley cortez , who create a series of haunting , surreal shadowy images over the rural depression-era backdrop . 
it's a testament to both men that they're able to invigorate what has become a hackneyed storyline ( kids harassed by evil guardians ) by sticking to the old maxim that we're more scared by what we don't see . 
screenwriter and legendary film critic james agee does a beautiful job giving shape and substance to an array of supporting characters : the drunk birdie ( james gleason ) who's haunted by his wife , and the spoons ( evelyn varden and walt spoon ) whose marriage has become a verbal vaudeville act . 
the only lapse is the movie's third act , when pearl and john run away from home and find a home with the motherly , bible-reading mrs . cooper ( lillian gish ) . 
her showdown with powell is memorable -- a battle done with dueling hymns . 
however , the whole segment feels a little rushed and underdone , but it's still a thrill seeing the queen of the silent film era handling a shotgun . 
do yourself favor and don't miss this if it comes to a nearby theater . 
note : a series of revealing , but overlong , outtakes preceded the movie . 
the highlights included the legendary laughton ( who sounds eerily like mr . pitt from seinfeld ) running winters' lines with mitchum , and the adorable , tiny bruce having trouble descending a coal pile . 
hours more of such footage exists , as laughton liked to keep the cameras constantly rolling . 
screened as part of the 2001 new york film festival retrospectives ( feature story coming soon ) . 
"
"1","jamaica is a hot vacation spot . 
the exchange rate encourages delusions of wealth ( approximately 30 jamaican dollars to one american ) , the sea is a brilliant blue , the air is warm but lacks humidity . 
and as tourism is unfortunately jamaica's biggest trade , foreigners enter and leave with a sense of relaxation . 
life and debt takes a brassy look at life inside this impoverished country . 
while normal documentaries take the sally struthers approach of underlying scenes of starving children with tearful music , this film guides the viewer with a sarcastic voiceover that brings the troubles home without begging tears to the surface . 
the voiceover is written by acclaimed author jamaica kincaid . 
it guides the audience along a tourist's journey and the story of the native inhabitants . 
instead of telling you what you are already seeing on screen , it quips , "" you don't see what happens after you flush the toilet . "" 
this engages a viewer to see and think about devastation instead of merely being told it is there . 
this strong , sparse storytelling approach runs throughout the film . 
stephanie black is also intelligent in how she chooses to disclose the problems faced by the locals . 
this isn't just another talking head show of people moaning about their horrible lot in life . 
people are interviewed from all sectors of occupation , from field to factory , as well as social theorists and the banking organizations that continue to invest in the country . 
the variety of discussion perpetuates a compelling internal dialogue with any viewer , whether they are seeing jamaica for the first time or not . 
of course , as can be expected , the united states is slammed , owing to its involvement with the international monetary fund and the world bank . 
officials look moronic as they explain why their plans for jamaica's economy will help the country back on its feet , but only if they are willing to follow the advice word for word . 
the next moment we see why and how each of these initiatives has failed , usually due to imports being cheaper than local labor or whether or not the soil is appropriate for the next agricultural trend the u . s . is forcing on the citizens . 
admittedly , some of the back and forth between the business-minded organizations and the failures they produce gets repetitive , but it also drives home the impact ignorance can have on both sides of an international argument . 
but jamaica isn't against the united states , and this documentary does not accuse the u . s . of being the sole perpetrator of its grief . 
if anything , it begs for a better understanding of the nature of jamaican society before stepping in to change it based on foreign regulations . 
"
"1","denzel washington is among the many actors this holiday season to give very impressive milestone performances . 
this perhaps may be washington's very best to date . 
he joins matt damon and jim carrey in having the talent , this season , to become his character , copying mannerisms and personal styles perfectly . 
his very believable performance makes the long and uninteresting "" the hurricane "" a much better film than it actually is . 
when his rubin "" hurricane "" carter feels pain and is tormented by racism , he creates for the audience a great sense of sympathy , disgust , and maybe even some embarrassment from the fact that this is our very own country that is breaking laws to support silly prejudices . 
the horrific true events carter suffered from all of his life are slightly more disturbing and terrifying because they only took place a few decades ago . 
the powerful expressions of denzel washington alone , as his tortured carter , sum up the troubles of racism in america's history . 
he is that amazing . 
the problem with "" the hurricane "" is that when compared to washington , all of the other actors are not nearly as memorable in their roles . 
mainly because the script focuses so much on carter , that it leaves little interest or room for the other actors . 
this is , without a doubt , washington's movie but in order for any film to be completely satisfying , it must utilize everyone in the cast to their highest potential not just the stars . 
denzel washington is the only reason to see this film for his inspirational and very depressing tour de force performance . 
as rubin carter , we see a black man whose existence has been a punching bag for the white american court system . 
>from the age of eleven to twenty one he was sent to a juvenile prison for a crime he did not commit . 
then after a successful marriage and boxing career , he was harshly imprisoned again for life after being framed for a triple murder . 
carter's second term in prison seemed almost inevitable when faced off against jealous , powerful white men who refused to let him succeed . 
from these past experiences in jail , carter realized that he must make his case heard for all of america . 
after several court appeals , an autobiography , and many public marches for his freedom , carter remained locked in prison . 
it was not until a young black boy from brooklyn being educated in toronto read carter's book in the 1980's , that a serious battle for freedom took place . 
the young boy and his three canadian guardians decide to dedicate all of their time to the case until carter is released . 
the greatest scenes in the film are when carter begins to lose his mind after spending three months in isolation . 
washington really shows the breakdown of carter when after swearing he would never go to jail again , he is unfairly framed at the height of his innocent career . 
the devastation in washington's eyes show a man who has struggled to do the right thing his whole life only to be punished for it . 
in the hole , carter attempts to maintain emotional balance but he cannot . 
his anger is heightened to a point of no control . 
we see multiple carters , a violent angry one , a silent passive one , and a mediator . 
we see an emotional boxing match inside carter's head . 
from this point in the hole to the end of the film , this fight continues . 
it is very apparent at times which side is winning the battle and in some scenes there is a direct switch from angry to caring or the opposite . 
when carter sees that white canadians want to help him get out of prison , the angry carter at first erupts . 
white people have been trying to hurt him his whole life , this reminder leads to anger in his head . 
however , as the film continues and the canadians continue to help carter we see the calm side him . 
he realizes that society is changing . 
that racism is decreasing and now carter wants to leave jail immediately and become a part of this world . 
very rarely have i seen such determination to perfect his role as washington has done here . 
if only the other actors had this same determination . 
dan hedaya , ridiculously plays the man who sends carter to prison twice by forcing witnesses to lie and switching evidence around . 
it felt like his character was taken straight out of a "" scooby doo "" episode ; he would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those annoying little kids . 
 "" the kids "" in this film are the three canadians who are terribly underused making their relationship with carter underdeveloped and unbelievable . 
the lawyers who help release carter also are underused , as is clancy brown as a kind prison guard ( the complete opposite of his character in "" shawshank redemption "" ) . 
there is a great amount of talent in this supporting cast but it just never appears . 
hedaya was superb in "" clueless , "" same for david paymer in "" get shorty , "" harris yulin in "" ghostbusters "" and liev schreiber in "" the daytrippers . "" 
it is a mystery how this many actors signed on to such shallow roles . 
on the other hand , it is absolutely no mystery why denzel washington agreed to play rubin "" hurricane "" carter . 
this role is about as far off from shallow as you can get . 
"
"1","[note : after claiming otherwise , my appetite was indeed whetted by kenneth branagh's hamlet to search out other attempts to translate shakespeare to film in hopes of finding a better mousetrap . 
as it happens , it didn't take long . ] 
is there a more romantic director than franco zeffirelli ? 
known mainly to american audiences as the man behind 1968's romeo and juliet ( required viewing for many high schoolers , and as much as most ever learn of shakespeare ) , he is also a favorite at the metropolitan opera , where his achingly beautiful designs further the already lush emotion of many a puccini aria . 
last year he gave us his beautifully realized version of jane eyre , one of the twin peaks ( with wuthering heights ) of romantic literature . 
it might seem peculiar , then , that zeffirelli ever had an interest in translating hamlet for the screen . 
at first blush , hamlet is far removed from romance . 
the hero , though a prince , is depressed , conflicted and confused . 
the ostensible love interest gets little screen time , and her scenes with her prince are usually as an object of mockery . 
the plot is full of political intrigue and the players are as cursed as the house of atreus . 
it is zeffirelli's genius , however , that he is able to expose the romantic core of hamlet and give the sometimes dry tale an emotional embrace . 
in this italian master's hands , romance is everywhere -- in a son's worship of his father , in the bonds of deepest friendship , in the private thoughts of young lovers , even in the mystery of castles by the sea . 
after all , the story hinges on a ghost , and what could be more romantic than that ? 
what seemed like a cheap way to sell tickets at the time turned out to be one of the most romantic gestures of all , namely , hiring then-reigning hollywood hunk mel gibson to play the lead . 
who could believe that the man who made his mark playing mad max and a "" lethal weapon "" ( in the series of the same name ) would have the skill to succeed in the most famous role in the english language ? 
franco zeffirelli , that's who . 
and it is apparent in every frame that his instinct was right on the money . 
what gibson brings to the role is a naturalness and ease which makes the whole story meaningful , not to mention comprehensible . 
his line readings sound spontaneous rather than rehearsed . 
his movements and gestures ( excepting his sometimes too active eyes ) are totally in keeping with the character . 
this is a hamlet whose pain we feel , whose struggle we empathize with , and whose death we mourn as sincerely as horatio at film's end . 
glenn close , the other big name in the production , also does well by the script and satisfies as hamlet's mother , gertrude -- though i must confess i'm still trying to understand the character as written . 
 ( zeffirelli's incestuous interpretation of hamlet's relationship with his mother doesn't help . ) 
alan bates makes a believably evil claudius without resorting to the mannerisms of a hollywood heavy . 
by and large the rest of the cast performs admirably and comfortably . 
of special note are the cinematography by david watkin and the score by ennio morricone . 
both support the realistic mood marvelously ( as do the sets and costumes ) , without any overstated effects that declare "" this is important ; this is shakespeare ! "" 
i particularly appreciate that the words are often spoken without any music at all : the melody of a wonderfully wrought phrase is given its due . 
perhaps it is difficult to call edited shakespeare "" definitive . "" 
and there are certainly quite a few other filmed versions of hamlet that i have not seen . 
but if you've ever felt the urge to overcome your fear of the bard , this hamlet is an excellent place to start . 
"
"1","the happy bastard's quick movie review 
me tarzan . . . you 
happy viewer . 
for a minute there , i thought i was going to be groaning over the release of disney's latest , another adaptation of a legend from the past . 
 ( remember the pathetic pocahontas ? 
yikes ! ) 
but guess what- disney , a company that's been on a roll lately with animated films , strikes again with another wonderful tale that pleases the eyes as well as the inner kid in you . 
the story is pretty basic- tarzan is left orphaned and a female gorilla who's lost her young adopts him into her group . 
as he matures into a much older man , tarzan still wonders just why he's so much different from the clan , and then arrives a hunter , a professor , and the professor's lovely daughter , jane- who meets tarzan rather quickly after getting in trouble with a group of feisty babboons . 
from there , tarzan faces tough choices- should he stay with the ones that he grew up with or go join his own kind in england ? 
the voicework here is pretty top-level . 
tony goldwyn is very convincing as the ape man ; minnie driver adds a delectable touch to the already-beautiful jane ; nigel hawthorne makes for a pretty nasty hunter voice ; rosie o' donnell keeps the laughs rolling as tarzan's best ape friend terk ; and wayne "" newman "" knight has his moments as a panicky elephant . 
the movie is superb throughout , mixing a great script with incredible computer-assisted visuals . 
when tarzan tree-surfs ( a twist that was added on top of the same ol' vine swinging- and a great one , i might add ) , the camera twists and turns , allowing the trees all around to come to life vividly . 
i couldn't believe my eyes- disney has come a long way since starting in a ballroom for beauty and the beast . 
and the music's not half bad , either . 
fortunately , there's no ridiculous singing characters here , just a great set of songs by phil collins that perfectly fit the mood . 
there's some great action sequences here as well , including a wonderfully done chase between tarzan , jane , and the aforementioned babboons . 
but , of course , it's not all action- there's a message here as well that has to do with family . 
this is easily one of disney's best animated films of the decade and it's one i can't wait to put in my home library . . . that 
is , if my vcr still works in the year 2000 . 
"
"1","one of the funniest carry on movies and the third with a medical setting . 
the main story is about dr . james nookey ( jim dale ) who is disliked by his superiors , frederick carver , head of the hospital ( kenneth williams ) , and dr . ernest stoppidge ( charles hawtrey ) who seems to dislike everyone . 
they attempt to cause him as much trouble in the hospital as possible and all the blame is laid on nookey . 
carver learns of a possible job opportunity from wealthy ellen moore ( joan sims ) on a distant tropical island and gets nookey trannsferred there . 
when nookey arrives at this island , he meets gladstone screwer ( sid james ) who has lived on the island just about all his life . 
screwer is in possession of a wonderful slimming drug made from natural ingredients . 
dr . nookey returns with the drug to england and sets up a new slimming business with ellen moore's financial backing . 
however , nookey and moore face opposition from screwer who goes to england to cash in on the drug , and carver and stoppidge who want to know the ingredients to create a rival drug . 
the performances are all very commendable . 
sid james has a slightly ambiguous character to play this time and he excels in his role . 
kenneth williams , as usual , plays the unpopular and cunning head of the hospital . 
joan sims is entertaining as the wealthy benefactor and jim dale should really head the cast with his excellent portrayal of bumbling nookey . 
charles hawtrey plays an 'out-of-character' role as dr . stoppidge , the nasty and evil practitioner who wants to knock nookey off his perch . 
some critics have said that this combination of hawtrey and stoppidge does not work well , but i think that it at least gives hawtrey a new part to play instead of the usual dimwit characters . 
as a matter of fact , hawtrey is suitably cunning in the part . 
other regulars in the movie include hattie jacques as the matron yet again ( but this part is probably her most boring 'matron' ) and barbara windsor as nookey's love interest and unofficial 'women's lib' campaigner , goldie locks . 
both jacques and windsor play their parts well . 
patsy rowlands appears briefly as miss fosdick , and there are very small cameos from wilfrid brambell ( from 'steptoe and son' fame ) and peter butterworth . 
the jokes are mostly very funny , the story is quite appealing , and the regulars seem interested in what they're doing . 
although it is another medical carry on movie and some of the jokes are borrowed from previous movies , it still comes out on top ( it is the best medical carry on ) because of the above factors . 
a must-see carry on movie . 
"
"1","whenever writer/director robert altman works in a specific genre , he has the tendency to rewrite it on his own terms . 
he made the west dirty in "" mccabe and mrs . miller "" ( 1971 ) , he parodied hard-boiled detective stories in "" the long goodbye "" ( 1973 ) , and he transformed a cartoon into flesh and blood with "" popeye "" ( 1980 ) . 
the same holds true for his most recent film , "" the gingerbread man , "" which reinvents a genre that has developed at an exponential rate over the last five years : the john grisham movie . 
by the time "" the gingerbread man "" was completed , there was very little evidence that it was ever based on a story by grisham . 
there's no idealist young lawyer ala tom cruise , matthew mcconaughey , chris o'donnell or matt damon , and it doesn't feature a great showdown in a courtroom . 
instead of being a grand ode to the powers of the legal profession , "" the gingerbread man "" is a rain-soaked , southern gothic noir thriller with wildly eccentric characters , a twisting plot line , black humor , a somewhat bleak ending , and even altman's trademark full-frontal female nudity . 
the central character of the film is rick magruder , who is unlike any of grisham's other lawyer heroes . 
he is older , experienced , and rich ; he drives a cherry-red $80 , 000 mercedes that never gets dirty , even in the incessantly pouring rain of savannah , georgia , where the story unfolds . 
rick is in the midst of an ugly divorce with his wife , leeanne ( famke janssen ) , and he rarely gets to see his two children , jeff ( jesse james ) and libby ( mae whitman ) . 
a reason is never given for the divorce , but it isn't hard to surmise that rick's womanizing had a large part in it . 
whenever he's late to pick up the kids on his visitation days , leeanne always assumes it's because he's been "" screwing around . "" 
after an office party celebrating another of his court victories ( he hasn't lost in eight years ) , rick becomes involved with mallory doss ( embeth davidtz ) , one of the catering waitresses . 
he drives her home because her car has been stolen , and they end up in bed together . 
rick finds out that mallory is being terrorized and stalked by her slightly psychotic father , dixon doss ( robert duvall ) , a grungy , stringy , bare-footed old man who leads a commune of other greasy old codgers . 
it was actually dixon who stole her car that night , and when rick asks why , mallory replies that he always does "" weird "" stuff like that . 
as another character puts it , dixon is "" a few beers short of six-pack . "" 
rick ends up convincing mallory to have dixon brought to court and tried for competency . 
he succeeds with information dug up by clyde pell , a private investigator friend ( robert downey jr . ) , and testimony from mallory's begrudging ex-husband , pete randle ( tom berenger ) . 
dixon is put in a mental hospital , but his commune buddies succeed in breaking him out . 
from there , the story delves into kidnapping , murder , double-crossing , and even a hurricane that adds an ominous cloud of constant violence to the action . 
altman's cinematographer , changwei gu , gives the film a dark , soaked look . 
if it isn't night-time , at least it's raining . 
gu shoots the interiors , which are almost all dark wood paneling , with a minimum of light . 
a great deal of the action takes place in the leafy georgia backwoods , which altman uses to create an acute sense of dread and vulnerability . 
in the city there is danger enough , but when rick has to venture into the woods , you can almost feel him leaving all hope of civilization behind as he literally enters another world . 
altman has worked in just about every conceivable genre , from westerns to epic dramas to comedies . 
but , no matter what the genre , he is always sure to give it the altman stamp , which usually consists of all kinds of idiosyncratic quirks and little details that are often missed without repeat viewings . 
 "" the gingerbread man "" is no different , although his style is much more restrained here . 
however , without those little touches , the film could have easily slumped into a routine action/thriller . 
a great deal of the credit for the film's success can be given to the actors , especially branagh , who rarely works outside of period pieces and his own direction . 
here , the british actor consistently maintains a serviceable southern drawl , while making an essentially contemptible character interesting and sympathetic . 
rick is an extremely flawed man , but branaugh brings real humanity to his character . 
without it , the entire film would fall flat because so much of it is reliant on the audience feeling rick's pain and frustration . 
the supporting actors also put in fine performances , including embeth davidtz , who is probably best known for her heart-breaking role as the jewish maid in "" schindler's list "" ( 1993 ) . 
tom berenger provides some gruff comic relief , and robert duvall spends most of his on-screen time just looking weird . 
it doesn't seem like he does much because he has very little spoken dialogue , but watch him closely during the film's one courtroom scene : his entire performance is in his eyes and his body language , and few actors could have pulled it off without being either silly or overbearing . 
while "" the gingerbread man "" isn't in league with altman's greatest works like "" nashville "" ( 1975 ) or "" the player "" ( 1992 ) , it is nonetheless a solid piece of genre filmmaking , which may prove a successful vehicle to restart his somewhat lagging career . 
some critics love to stamp films like this as "" commercial , "" as if altman can only maintain artistic integrity if his films are aimed at a tiny audience and don't make money . 
altman has done something much better : he took what could have been a generic movie , and by investing artistry and effort , he made it into something more . 
"
"1"," "" remember what the mpaa says : horrific and deplorable violence is ok as long as you don't say any naughty words . "" 
featuring the voice talents of matt stone , trey parker , mary kay bergman . 
rated r . 
filmmakers jump on real-life controversies faster than austin powers on felicity shagwell . 
the debate on whether cinema is to blame for teenagers turning into hoodlums has only begun to heat up , and already someone's made a movie about it , and it's not , thank god , a tragic account of a family ripped apart by the effect violence in films had on a teenage boy . 
instead we get a sharp , biting satire that takes no prisoners and leaves no conservative point of view unscathed . 
based on a popular ( and controversial ) cable tv show , south park : bigger longer and uncut can finally break loose of the shackles placed on the show by television restrictions and take bad taste to brand new heights . 
the movie is about a group of kids who sneak into a canadian r-rated movie and learn some naughty words . 
when they exhibit their new knowledge to their moms , they decide to "" blame canada , "" wage war against the neighbor country and execute "" terrence and phillip , "" the flatulent actors in the obscene film . 
the kids form an alliance they name "" la resistance "" ( with the accent on the third syllable of "" resistance "" ) to save their favorite thespians , in a hilarious spoof of ( tribute to ? ) 
les mis ? rables . 
in a subplot , one of the characters ( kenny , who else ? ) 
dies and goes to hell where he meets satan . 
satan and saddam hussein are lovers , you see . 
satan is a benevolent soul , while our favorite eastern ruler can only think about sex . 
apparently , too , if terrence and phillip are executed it will be the final sign of the apocalypse and satan can emerge from the deepest bowels of the underground kingdom to rule the earth . 
aside from being a brilliant satire , south park is also an all-stops-out musical , with unforgettable numbers like "" shut your f * * * ing face uncle f * * * er "" and "" cartman's mom is a big fat bitch "" . 
almost invariably it's funny stuff : often juvenile but always funny . 
the same can be said for the rest of the movie : it's intelligent but delivered in a sophomoric manner ( i . e . 
toilet humor , endless profanity , etc . ) . 
not that there's anything wrong with that : vulgarity , when done right , is my bag , baby . 
trey parker and matt stone , the twenty-somethings behind the film and the show , paint a bulls-eye on the motion picture association of america and proceed to be the first to start trying to hit it . 
cruelly mocking the fact that the mpaa's rating system will allegedly tolerate grotesque violence as long as obscenities aren't uttered , the auteurs throw some nasty one-liner insults their way . 
the ratings-a-plenty association isn't the only target of this unsparing banter : people who favor censoring movies over gun control are equally fair game , with the "" blame canada "" plot being a not-so-cheap shot at them . 
the distinctively low-tech "" cardboard "" animation is oddly effective , even more so than the state of the art "" deep canvas "" technique aptly demonstrated in the recent tarzan . 
it's more pleasant to look at , less intimidating up on the screen , and most importantly it doesn't detract from the film's concept as much as disney's admirably awe-inspiring work does . 
the show's popularity has been waning as of late , and perhaps this movie is just the thing to boost its ratings . 
perhaps not . 
having seen the show on numerous occasions , i can say that it's not nearly as smart or as funny as this movie . 
the series may be better off simply continuing on the big screen every couple years . 
parker and stone have outdone themselves to the point where i am forced to ask : must the show go on ? 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov&#137 ; 
"
"1","for this review and more , visit clear illusions ( www . clearillusions . com ) 
the majority of scary movies signal the fact that a character is about to meet their demise with cheesy music , worn out dialogue such as "" i'll be right back , "" or simply with the overall tone of the scene . 
how about a classic john denver song as a death signal for a change ? 
that's the kind of bursting originality that allows "" final destination "" to invade the viewer's mind , even days after seeing it , making one pause before ever entering a dark room , taking a shower , or even going to sleep . 
the unique and horrifying thriller is the best thing to happen to the slasher genre since 1996's "" scream . "" 
 "" final destination , "" directed by james wong and penned by jeffrey riddick , glen morgan , and james wong , the latter two being writers for the t . v . 
series "" the x-files , "" is a movie with wonderful ideas , and executes them effortlessly . 
it's rare a film of this nature can grab an audience's attention these days , as the genre has seem to be completely worn out ? ? `but "" final destination "" has more in store for one than one can imagine . 
unlike "" halloween "" 's michael myers or "" nightmare on elm street "" 's freddy kruger , "" final destination "" 's killer is of the supernatural , the dark one himself , death . 
the intriguing premise is as follows ; a portion of a senior class is set to travel by air to paris for their class trip . 
after boarding the plane , one of the students , alex browning ( devon sawa ) dreams of their plane exploding into flames just after takeoff , killing everyone on board . 
once waking up , alex gets himself and six others off of that plane , all of who seem to be rather confused by the entire happening . 
shortly after their departure , the plane takes off , and guess what ; it blows up in middair . 
now , alex , and fellow survivors , who consist of friend clear waters ( ali larter ) , enemy carter ( kerr smith ) , carter's girlfriend terry ( amanda detmer ) , the goofy billy ( sean william scott ) and his brother tod ( chad donella ) , and teacher , ms . valerie lewton ( kristen cloke ) , are in extreme danger , as it seems they have cheated death by getting off of that plane , and now death wants them . 
the number of survivors starts to peel back quite quickly as death goes around offing those who got off the plane ? ? `but who is next , and how will death get them ? 
 "" final destination "" is a film that is unbearably suspenseful ; always making the viewer frantic , as death will strike in the most unlikely of times . 
john denver's "" rocky mountain high "" being played pretty much warrants another death ? ? `everyone on that plane learned the hard way . 
although it's usually given whose life will be taken next , the intensity and unpredictability of the film never fades , because you don't know when death is coming . 
like the characters in the movie , i was constantly nervous and shaky during "" final destination "" . 
the slightest noise or movement nearby would send me a mile into the air ? ? ` and yes , the film is that intense . 
the cast is surprisingly effective and up to par ; the best ensemble in this genre since "" scream . "" 
the characters have multi-dimensional personalities for a change , and for the most part , you highly sympathize with them once death starts to come their way . 
devon sawa and ali larter are the main focus of the film , and both actors follow up their well written characters with even better performances , that , like the "" scream "" movies did for their cast , will launch them into superstardom . 
kerr smith and kristen cloke are also impressive , although the two don't posses as much screen time as the leads . 
 "" final destination "" is one exhilarating , exciting ride . 
any age should be able to enjoy the complexity and eeriness of the film , and should find an edge to it that most slasher films lack . 
for the blood loving moviegoer , "" destination "" contains buckets of blood , guts , and all that good stuff . 
 "" final destination "" is a film that is destined to become a cult classic among horror fans , and a sleeper hit at the box office . 
hands down to the first film in years that has actually scared me . 
by scare , i don't mean making me jump , or making me wonder if i'm in danger , but by scare i mean a film that stays locked in your mind , absorbing you , leaving one question that's constantly on your mind : is death coming for me ? 
the bottom line : make "" final destination "" your destination . 
"
"1","errol morris , critically acclaimed director of the 1997 documentary fast , cheap and out of control , vaults to new heights with mr . 
death . 
this film , an examination of the life and work of controversial execution equipment designer and revisionist historian fred a . leuchter , jr . , is sure to draw audiences out of their malaise , stunning even the more jaded minds among us . 
don't let the film's cheesy dissuade you . 
following this sideshow of horror-lab special effects we are plunged quickly into a non-stop exploration of the weirdness that is leuchter's life and mind . 
morris follows the trail of leuchter's madness with appalling lucidity , revealing in a surprising and frightening way what most of us could have guessed to begin with : this leuchter guy is seriously messed up . 
virtually raised within the american penal system by a father who worked within prison walls , leuchter seems to have come somewhat naturally into his profession ; designing and maintaining execution equipment for state penitentiaries , in spite of his lack of credentials . 
after a moderately successful career making electric chairs and designing gas chambers and gallows , leuchter came to the attention of neo-nazi and revisionist historian ernst zundel , who was facing criminal charges in germany for publishing his `theory' that the holocaust never happened . 
morris's interviews are surprisingly congenial , drawing the subjects into a carefree banter that gives them more than enough rope with which to hang themselves . 
zundel speaks to the camera as though it were his mensch . 
leuchter seems completely at ease , sometimes jovial . 
part of this effect may be due to morris's new interviewing machine , called the interrotron , which is responsible for creating eye contact between the subject and the interviewer . 
this was the first time morris had used the device , and the results are startling . 
combine the irony of these interviews with leuchter's reenactments and reels of creepy stock footage of his trip to auschwitz and birkenau , not to mention a haunting clip of thomas edison electrocuting an elephant , and you've got one compelling and disturbing documentary . 
while this film isn't for the feeble-minded or weak-hearted , it is a valuable addition to the cultural landscape . 
aside from a few dragging minutes toward the end of the piece , morris has given us a fresh look at a dismal subject and i , for one , feel bettered by the experience . 
"
"1","summary five liberal iowa graduate students share a house and carry on a tradition of a large sunday dinner . 
for a year now they have been inviting a guest for dinner and discussion . 
on this occasion one of the roommates , pete ( ron eldard ) , brings home a stranger who picked him up when his car broke down . 
the stranger is zack ( bill paxton ) who appears like a decent enough good samaritan . 
nothing could be further from the truth . 
after some dinner conversation it appears that zack is , among other things , a racist "" you know my grandfather once said that if he knew you coloreds were going to be so much trouble we'd have picked the damn cotton ourselves "" , and an anti-semite . 
an argument escalates at the dinner table and leads to violence . 
after zack assaults marc ( jonathan penner ) and pete , zack is killed . 
the roommates are at odds with what to do . 
marc , pete and paulie ( annabeth gish ) immediately wish to call the police . 
luke ( courtney b . vance ) and jude ( cameron diaz ) suggest something different . 
after more discussion they agree to dispose of the body and cover it up . 
they do not want to be sent to jail for what they feel was a justifiable homicide . 
when it is done the roommates realize that it was easier than they thought . 
so easy in fact that they decide that every sunday their dinner guest would be someone who opposes of their views . 
if they all agree that the guest deserves to die , they will poison them and bury them in the back yard . 
the back yard fills up rather quickly , its' victims including ( among others ) a right to life extremist , an anti-environmentalist and a homophobe . 
by the time the roommates get to their tenth victim they begin to question their methods . 
are they giving the guests a chance ? 
are they even giving them good food anymore ? 
this film is what i like to call a "" hidden treasure "" . 
this film is such a pleasant surprise . 
a well written , devilish satire that is funny , sexy and original . 
this film should be a hit , but i guess the fact that it apparently had no marketing wouldn't give it much of a chance . 
i had never heard of it until i saw a copy at my video store . 
stacy title does a wonderful job directing . 
she somehow finds the time to give all of the characters enough screen time to develop a distinct personality . 
>from the five members of the house to other key characters including sheriff stanley ( nora dunn ) , the local law closing in on the truth , and the dream dinner guest , norman arbuthnot ( ron perlman ) , a rush limbaugh clone who should be the roommates easiest kill . 
perlman gives the films' best performance . 
he finds the right note as the right wing big mouth who simultaneously offends and gains followers , and may just inadvertently talk his way out of death . 
the other actors are convincing as well , as all of the roommates deal with their murderous ways . 
some of the characters appear to be heading down the road towards insanity , while others grieve their decisions . 
when friends ask me to recommend a movie , this is usually the first one i think of . 
i am not saying that this is my favorite movie ( although it is in my top ten ) , but because the film was such a wonderful surprise , i have a fondness for it . 
i also try to recommend films like this : ones that have not been seen by many people , but should . 
"
"1","i can already feel the hate letters pouring in on this one , folks . 
i loved the wedding singer . 
but it gets worse . 
if i so much as mention titanic in the same sentence . 
 . 
 . 
hell , same paragraph as the wedding singer , i'm bound to be lynched . 
well lynch me then , because i thought adam sandler and drew barrymore had the most convincing chemistry in recent memory , with titanic as the only exception . 
right away , you're ready to discount my review , aren't you ? 
you're thinking that i can't possibly know what i'm talking about . 
after all , this is adam sandler right ? ? ? 
well , there's more . 
 . 
 . 
i actually got choked up , and more than once . 
yes , the man who brought us billy madison and happy gilmore was able to bring sincere tears to my eyes . 
but before you shrug me off as an imbecile , i urge you to see the movie and see for yourself . 
the wedding singer is the story of robby hart ( sandler ) , a 1985 rock star wannabe whose soul achievement in life has been performing cover tunes at wedding receptions for the past five years or so . 
but when his own wedding results in a no-show for the bride ( angela featherstone as linda ) , robby begins to re-examine his life , and wonder why true love doesn't exist for people like him . 
in the process of performing at these receptions , robby meets a waitress named julia , played with wholesome sweetness by drew barrymore , whose reputation is anything but this character . 
julia too is engaged , and when robby finds himself without a wife , his free time allows him to help her plan her own wedding , seeing as how her fiance , the "" miami vice "" loving glenn ( matthew glave ) , doesn't seem all that interested . 
as the time goes by , we learn the reason glenn is do dispassionate about the wedding - he's merely marrying julia to prevent a breakup , something he wants to avoid even if he does sleep around with tons of other women . 
it's obvious that robby is going to fall for julia and feel a strong need to rescue her , but what is a lighthearted romantic comedy for ? 
this isn't sleepless in seattle , but i'd actually compare it to that before i'd compare it to happy gilmore . 
while the wedding singer maintains some of that post-snl cornball humor , its sincerity and charm carry it a very , very long way . 
sandler is great in his role , and yes , if you allow it , you can take him seriously . 
barrymore seems perfect along side him , and although the two more likely represent gen-x moronism and party-girl ditzism ( respectively ) , the two go together like bread and butter as a mid-eighties couple . 
one scene in particular , where julia ponders the future in a mirror , is so well done , i was on the verge of tears . 
unfortunately , sandler is going to make a lot of people shrug this one off as a no-brainer , but it's got so much surprise substance packed inside that i'm encouraging everyone to go see it . 
in fact , the entire theater applauded when the film ended , and laughs were so consistent , some jokes were probably missed due to the uproar . 
the 1985 setting was milked for everything it was worth , and for those of us that are old enough to remember it , it was a bodacious trip back ( and done very well ) . 
sandler shows a new side to himself while maintaining all his original charm ( or is it anti-charm ? ) . 
while the wedding singer only deserves three stars due to artistic merit , grading it on pure enjoyability would give this one four stars . 
it's hilarious , and it's touching . 
it's got that great cheezy humor , but it also takes sandler to a higher level than anyone expected . 
this is one to see again and again . 
is it possible the wedding singer could be one of the sweetest romantic comedies of 1998 ? 
my "" magic 8-ball "" predicts it is certain . 
"
"1","hollywood is a pimp . 
a fat , cigar-smoking chump wearing a fur hat and 12 gold chains around its fat , hairy chest . 
all of its stars and starlets are an evil brood of scum-sucking vampires looking for the next percentage take , the next summer blockbuster , the next casting couch to audition on . 
pumping out comic-book adaptations , terrible sequels to mediocre films , and remakes of foreign films to the nearest american movie multiplex mall theater equipped with thin walls and bad sound systems . 
how much longer can the works of peckinpah , fassbinder , fuller , castle , preminger , and lee be placed and forgotten in the wrong sections of the local blockbuster stores ? 
how many more silver and weinstein films can we enduring in this stinky , decaying state of american cinema ? 
but now , from john "" i don't give a shit what you think about my movies "" waters , comes the siren call to all frustrated filmmakers and aficionados : cecil b . demented , a warped and twisted tale of how far a filmmaker will go to create a personal vision of internal and social revolution . 
stephen dorff , in a career-defining role , is cecil b . demented , a crazed director devoted to making the most radical underground film . 
together with his film production cult , the sprocket holes - who wear tattoos of peckinpah , lee , fuller , castle , anger , fassbinder , preminger on various parts of their bodies as badges of honor , they kidnap a hollywood movie starlet , played with perfect ridiculousness by melaine griffith , and force her to take the starring role in demented's film . 
with no budget and no contracts for extras , demented and his crew take to the streets for production of raving beauty , a crass terrorist film about an angry owner of an independent theater and her brood out to destroy the mainstream film business . 
using "" ultimate reality "" - with real bullets , real people , and real terror - demented and his crew of misfits attack a mall theater , terrorize the maryland film commission and crash a movie studio shooting a certain sequel to a really annoying tom hanks film . 
demented's crewmembers are maimed and killed , popcorn machines are used for target practice , and no one can have sex until the film is complete . 
it's like bowfinger , only , you know , good . 
the film moves with zigs and zags like the magic bullet of kennedy's assassination . 
the zeal of demented's cause catches quickly and conveys the urgent message of "" doing something , anything , for the accomplishment of artistic motivations . "" 
the crewmembers all hold the quirkiness common in water's previous films - pink flamingos , hairspray , polyester , pecker -- and speak in the choppy , jaded dialogue used frequently by waters . 
it is as if water's script strips away the unnecessary dialogue common to most pretentious indie films and just delivers the goods . 
cecil takes such warped avenues of expression that it seems like it might actually outdo itself . 
you can see how a major studio might take this film , re-edit it , cut a deal with the remaining crew members who are still alive , and make a few sequels , a la the blair witch project . 
but that's for the future . 
overall , the ride is fantastic ; it's one of water's best films to date and this year's fight club for filmmakers . 
director/writer : john waters starring : stephen dorff , melaine griffith , alicia witt , adrian grenier , larry gilliard jr . , mink stole , ricki lake , kevin nealon producers : john fielder , mark tarlov , anthony delorenzo , joe caraccio jr . 
"
"1","back in 1998 dreamworks unveiled their first computer animated movie "" antz "" . 
the film was critically acclaimed , and went on to gross almost $100m dollars at the domestic box office . 
again in 1998 they released their traditional animated film "" the prince of egypt "" and it named an instant classic , and became a huge hit as well . 
on a winning streak , they released "" the road to el dorado "" and it wasn't as big as they hoped , but still did ok , then they had the fantastic "" chicken run "" in the summer . 
now in 2001 dreamworks has released what i can safely name , one of the top five best animated films . 
shrek ( mike myers ) is about a loving , green ogre who lives in the woods of duloc by himself . 
surrounded by fairy tale characters , he hopes somehow he would escape from everyone . 
the ruler of duloc is the short , heartless lord farquaad ( john lithgow ) , who is offering a reward to all the fairy tale creatures , if they are captured and arrested . 
of course many of the owners turn them in for gold and silver , but one of those creatures is donkey ( eddie murphy ) . 
a regular donkey , except he talks and has a definite attitude , after his owner tries to disown him , he escapes into the woods , and runs into shrek . 
lord farquaad however , has different plans and makes all the fairy tale creatures in the woods near shrek's house . 
to get his property back , and his life back shrek must rescue princess fiona ( cameron diaz ) so lord farquaad can be a king . 
shrek wants his property back , but he never thought he would fall in love with princess fiona . 
 "" shrek "" is such an amazing film , that while watching it you can't help but just smile the entire time and wonder why that other production company can't make movies like this . 
the animated graphics are so great , that they look every bit of realistic . 
i saw previews for this film all last year , and i thought to myself wow , what a great movie this will be . 
i must say i was not disappointed at all , and the film is the best of 2001 so far , and will go down on my best of 2001 list at the end of the year . 
the voice talents are brilliant as well , with the comic genius mike myers . 
in the past he has been a wayne , an austin , and a person married to an ax murderer . 
now he is shrek , not only does he do the voice talent . . . but he is shrek . 
with his irish accent , and he lovable personality , shrek becomes a friend to the audience and warms your heart . 
eddie murphy who showed his voice talent in 1998s "" mulan "" does another bang up job here , and he is the comic relief in the film . 
the tones of his voice , the lines he utters , and the jokes he gives , he even outdoes the comic genius of robin williams in "" aladdin "" . 
the always beautiful cameron diaz gives the voice of princess fiona and she does a great job as well . 
she is very funny , and her character fits her to a t . of course the best supporting voice is john lithgow , who is personally one of my favorite actors . 
he as the bad guy lord farquaad does a great job in being both sinister and funny at the same time . 
at times i was so amazed by the computer graphics , that you can't help but just start looking at backgrounds . 
there is many hidden jokes in the film , and even reflections of light on the screen like a camera . 
 "" shrek "" is a definite kid film , but not just a kid film for it is a film for the entire family to enjoy . 
there are many adult jokes in the film that the kids won't get , but the parents will be laughing . 
believe me though , everyone will be laughing the entire way through . 
in the end , "" shrek "" gives a very important message to it's audience to enjoy and be who you are . 
everybody out there is beautiful in their own way , even though it may be inside . 
there's not many words that can praise "" shrek "" enough , but my words to you is to stop what you are doing and see this movie now . 
"
"1"," "" say , any of you know how to madison ? "" 
--- brad "" asshole "" majors ( barry bostwick ) shows just how unhip he is after watching the kooky transylvanians wrap up their ode to the time warp in the cult classic the rocky horror picture show . 
the story behind the rocky horror picture show is one of legend . 
in the early 70's , stage actor turned first-time playwright richard o'brien decided he wanted to make a musical homage to the crazy b-movies he had grown up with as a child , set to a bunch of catchy rock tunes of his own design . 
the result was the stage play the rocky horror show , which opened to fairly decent reviews in london in 1973 and was even hailed the best musical of 1973 by prominent drama critics in england . 
the play was so successful that the film rights were immediately snapped up and production on the film began a mere year later , in october of 1974 . 
the film version ( now titled the rocky horror picture show ) was released in 1975 . . . 
and immediately tanked at the box office . 
whether it was because fox wasn't quite sure how to market it to audiences or that audiences didn't quite know what to make of it themselves has never really been determined , but the one common bit of knowledge about the film was that it was a huge flop . 
it seemed that the infectious spirit brought about by the stage version had not been infused into the film version and fox quickly had it pulled from theaters . 
a year later , something entirely strange and magical happened . 
prints of the film started to be distributed to theaters in small amounts and were circulating at midnight shows across the country , and it was then that a whole new audience found the film . 
this new audience was prone to dressing up like the characters from the film , acting out segments in front of the screen as the movie played , yelling rude comments at the screen , and just generally having a good time . 
word quickly spread about this new phenomena of interactive film and the rocky horror picture show's life as the ultimate cult film was born . 
for the virgins out there who are unaware , the plot centers around a loving couple , brad majors ( barry bostwick ) and janet weiss ( susan sarandon ) , who come from a small town called denton . 
brad and janet have just attended the wedding of two of their friends and decide that they also want to be wed . 
they plan a trip to see the man who led to their meeting , dr . everett scott ( jonathan adams , who played the narrator in the original stage version ) , but their car gets a flat on the way to his home . 
remembering a castle they had seen back a few miles down the road , they decide to walk there and see if the residents have a phone they might be able to use to call for assistance . 
the castle is actually the home of a race of aliens from the planet transsexual ( in the galaxy of transylvania ) , who are lead by the eccentric fishnet-stocking wearing mad scientist dr . frank-n-furter ( tim curry ) . 
frank-n-furter has masterminded the secret to creating life and has done so in the form of rocky ( peter hinwood ) . 
as rocky becomes accustomed to his new environment , brad and janet find themselves at the mercy of frank-n-furter's mad schemes . 
little do any of them know that the doctor's handyman , riff-raff ( original author richard o'brien ) , and domestic , magenta ( patricia quinn ) , are actually transsexual planetary protectors who have been sent to stop frank from spreading his alien evil all over the earth . 
going back and revisiting this film after ten years ( 1990 being the first time i had ever seen it ) , it is amazing to me that this film ever got made or has had the staying power that it has . 
if i had been a fox executive around the time of its release , i don't think i would have known what to make of it either . 
for all intents and purposes it is a bad movie ( though bad in a really good sort of way ) , but sumptuous production design and a great deal of incredibly catchy songs really help to increase the likability of the film . 
by the time the credits role , it is fairly easy to have gotten wrapped up in the film and its characters , and one really gets the feeling that richard o'brien definitely was a fan of the old cheesy b-movies his film is based on . 
when i say that the wall-to-wall songs are catchy what i really mean to say is that , once you hear them , they will be ingrained in your head for all of eternity . 
it goes without saying that the "" time warp "" is the most popular song in the film . 
even people who have never seen the movie know of that particular song . 
what those who haven't seen the movie don't know though , is that there are even more songs in the film that are just as worthy of acknowledgment . 
my personal favorite is "" over at the frankenstein place "" , but "" dammit janet "" is also maddeningly catchy . 
tim curry's vocals on the rocking tune "" sweet transvestite "" need to be heard to be believed . 
the finale of the film , a big floor show staged by frank-n-furter and featuring most of the cast in garters and fishnets ( including barry bostwick . . . 
frightening ! ) , features no less than four songs ( "" rose tint my world "" , "" don't dream it "" , "" wild and untamed thing "" , and "" i'm going home "" ) , all of which are immensely singable . 
the film's true popularity and longevity resides in its audience participation though . 
despite the catchiness of the songs , this movie would have been long forgotten about if it hadn't have been for the multitude of folks who dress up every friday or saturday night to rush out and be a part of their own little floor show . 
watching this film at home is nothing compared to actually experiencing this in a theater with hundreds of rabid fans ( unless you don't mind inviting friends over and letting them shoot water guns in your home or letting them throw rice and pieces of toast all over the place ) . 
note : director jim sharman brought back to the central characters of the film , in the form of a sequel , resulting in the very much forgotten film shock treatment , which picks up with brad and janet ( this time played by cliff de young and jessica harper ! ) as contestants on a game show in their home town of denton . 
the two are menaced by the evil tv station manager ( also played by de young ) , who wishes to claim janet as his own . 
o'brien returned as a writer/performer on the project ( as did quinn , campbell , and gray in performance capacity only ) , but the film had nowhere near the spirit of the original . 
25 years later , this film is still the pinnacle of cult filmdom and is continuously screened at midnight all over the world . 
as a lasting testament to the longevity of the film and its legion of fans , a brand new special edition 2-disc dvd set has been released that is the most comprehensive compendium of rocky horror to date ( even out shining the laserdisc special edition that was released for its 20th anniversary ) . 
if you are one of those people who can't get enough of the film , this disc should be more than enough to satisfy your appetites . 
in an attempt to recreate the interactivity of the film , fox home entertainment has released this wonderful 2-disc dvd set loaded with so many extras that it'll take a good eight hours just to take in the majority of it all . 
the film itself is located on the first disc and has been given a beautiful transfer that shows it in its original aspect ratio of 1 . 85 : 1 ( enhanced for 16x9 televisions ) . 
the film is presented in two different versions , the us theatrical version and the uk version which adds a musical number during the finale called "" superheroes "" . 
for ambitious viewers , the disc also includes a hidden version ( located on the main menu by clicking left from the scene selection menu choice and highlighting a pair of lips in the lower left corner ) which presents the film in the manner it was originally supposed to have been seen . 
originally , the film was to have been similar to the wizard of oz , with the first half of the it seen in black and white ( and not changing to color until the transylvanians are first revealed to brad and janet during the time warp musical number ) . 
most reports , including a documentary on the disc , say that the color was supposed to appear when frank-n-furter first shows up in the elevator , but it does seem to work better where it was placed on this version , depicting the vast difference between the world brad and janet were used to compared with the one to which they are introduced . 
the film contains a commentary track by show creator ( and faithful handyman ) richard o'brien and co-star patricia quinn which is fairly enjoyable ( and quinn immediately starts off by refusing to speak about sarandon nearly contracting pneumonia while having to walk around wet and half-naked on freezing cold sets , which she apparently complained about the entire film and in future interviews ) . 
the two seem like old friends and have great stories to tell , but they also point out cast members that are sadly no longer with us anymore ( and there are quite a few ) . 
fox has also tried to recreate the feel of attending the film in a theater with several audience participation segments . 
the first feature ( and the most simple ) is a subtitle prompter which lets you know when to open up on people with your water guns or when the right time to throw your toast is . 
the second feature is an audience participation track , which lets you in on what you might hear on a good night out at the show . 
most of the comments are unintelligible because it is basically just a large group of people screaming their heads off , but every once and a while a comment can be heard that will invoke a bit of laughter . 
the final participation segment uses a technology very much like the technology used on the matrix dvd , where a pair of lips will appear on-screen during certain scenes of the film ( mostly during the musical numbers ) that can be selected by pressing enter on your remote . 
when selected , you will be taken out of the film and into a live participation version of the scene put on during one of the many screenings that occur all over the world . 
once the segment is over , you are deposited right back into the film where you left off . 
the first disc also contains a few dvd-rom goodies for those with that particular type of dvd player . 
there is a timeline of the evolution from the stage play version to worldwide cult sensation , a video jukebox , a you don't know jack-styled trivia game ( which is about as bare bones a you don't know jack parody as it can be ) , and a bizarre mad-libs styled word game known as riff-raff's story lab . 
links to the rocky horror websites are also available from the dvd-rom portion of the disc . 
the second disc features even more goodies for the person who loves extras . 
former lite-rock video channel turned music historians vh-1 have allowed some of their outtake footage from the "" behind the music : rocky horror "" special that they ran earlier in the year to be shown here , as well as a pop-up video for the meat loaf-sung "" hot patootie "" . 
the "" behind the music "" segments are all very interesting , especially richard o'brien's jaunt through the castle ( which is now a hotel ! ) where the film was originally shot . 
there are also extensions of the sarandon , bostwick , quinn , o'brien , and meat loaf interviews . 
as far as extras for the film itself go , there are two deleted musical numbers that are also included here . 
one of which is just the "" superheroes "" number available in the uk version , but there is also another rare musical number presented here called "" once in a while "" . 
a series of alternate takes are also presented here , but none of them are really much of a revelation ( except for the undressing scene in which we see that patricia quinn is having a hard time unbuttoning barry bostwick's pants ) . 
for the completist who must have every little bit of rocky horror paraphernalia , a misprinted end sequence and alternate credit sequence are also presented here . 
rounding out the disc is a decent documentary called rocky horror double feature video show , two theatrical trailers ( proclaiming that the film is "" a different sort of jaws "" ) , a still gallery , and two sing-a-longs ( for "" toucha toucha touch me "" and "" sweet transvestite "" ) . 
fox's special edition is the dvd set that rocky horror fans have been waiting for all their lives ( "" you're lucky . . . 
i'm lucky . . . 
he's lucky . . . 
we're all lucky ! "" ) . 
it's not just amazing enough that tons of classic italian films are finally getting their recognition in the u . s . , but even long standing traditions are finally receiving their due on the wonderful dvd format . 
as with their excellent dvds of the abyss , fight club , independence day , and the sound of music , fox shows that they have most certainly made the commitment to provide the things that dvd lovers want . 
i raise a toast to them ( cue the throwing of the bread ) as i cut out the lights , sit back , and watch those disembodied lips begin to sing about b-movie tradition . 
[r] 
"
"1","in "" magic town "" , jimmy stewart is in peak form playing a pollster who heads to a "" perfect "" town to gauge their reactions on the sorts of issues that only poll-takers care about . 
however , as time progresses , and he finds himself falling in love with the town ( and a woman ) , he begins to see that what he's doing is wrong . 
the plot is standard stuff , but that's not important . 
in a film like this , it's the calibre of the actors that make or break it . 
obviously , since stewart stars , that's practically a non-issue . 
he's great in the film , as usual . 
there's just something about him that always manages to be endearing , even when he's deceiving the town folk . 
you're always on his side , and you desperately want to see all of his goals come to fruitition . 
the film was directed by a longtime frank capra script-writer , and it shows . 
this is the type of feel-good picture that capra is famous for . 
by the time "" the end "" shows up on screen , everything has been wrapped up very nicely . 
there are no loose ends , and virtually every character gets a happy ending ( those that deserve one , anyway ) . 
in this age of cynicism , it's refreshing to see a movie so upbeat . 
 "" magic town "" is a delightfully entertaining motion picture . 
if you believe all old movies are slow-paced , you'd be well-advised to check this one out . 
"
"1","kevin smith is like a big kid . 
his humor is that of a sophisticated juvenile's . 
he grew up idolizing star wars and loves comic books , having also written a few . 
he also has a cult following , mostly composed of teenagers , college students , and smith's own fellow adolescent-minded grownups . 
smith is hilarious in person and in writing , but when he tries to be earnest and moralize , that is when he goes wrong . 
kevin smith is a better writer than director , and he'll be the first to tell you that . 
that might also be part of the reason why his moralizing comes across as so heavy-handed . 
great directors show us their theses instead of having the characters sermonize them . 
this was true in the overrated chasing amy , and it is true for dogma as well . 
that is not to say smith's message is a bad one . 
in dogma , smith tells us that problems arise when people believe beyond any doubt that their insight into god and god's desires is superior to anyone else's . 
basically , dogmatism is bad . 
changing the minds of the dogmatic is virtually impossible , and since the dogmatic believe that they have special insight , they also know what is best for you , whether you like it or not . 
this is not exactly a new message in movies ( see inherit the wind ) , but i have no problems with recycling old ones , particularly since dogma's protesters are proving smith's point . 
smith's own problem with delivering this message is that he beats us over the head with it like we are reading a dogma for dummies book . 
but this is smith's personality , and his simplistic views neglect such adult issues as how does one interpret the bible ( or koran , etc . ) correctly ( or if there even is a correctly ) and how one settles disputes of heretofore dogmatic concerns . 
the story concerns abortion clinic worker bethany ( linda fiorentino ) being chosen by voice of god , metatron ( alan rickman ) , to prevent the destruction of the universe by two fallen angels , bartleby ( ben affleck ) and angel of death , loki ( matt damon ) . 
along the way , forgotten thirteenth apostle , rufus ( chris rock ) , stripper muse serendipity ( salma hayek ) , and slacker duo jay and silent bob ( jason mewes and kevin smith himself ) come to bethany's aid . 
fallen muse , azrael ( jason lee ) , proves to be the behind-the-scenes manipulator for all the chicanery . 
the logical but convoluted plot only exists as an excuse for the jokes and to make smith's points , and in itself , has little dramatic momentum . 
among the supposedly outrageous claims made by the film is that god is a woman , jesus was black , and the bible was written by a bunch of racist , misogynistic white men . 
of course , kevin smith does not necessarily subscribe to these ideas himself . 
they are a metaphor for the fears and insecurities of the dogmatic . 
smith says as much in his amusing disclaimer that precedes the movie . 
when harvey weinstein asked smith to put it into the film before cannes , smith thought it might give validation to protesters' claims that the film was sacrilegious , but then he rethought it and turned the disclaimer into a joke . 
the film's humor is uneven . 
some parts are very funny as when bethany goes for a fire extinguisher when metatron makes a burning-bush kind of entrance . 
but many of the film's jokes just bomb , as in virtually anything involving salma hayek's serendipity . 
also , some of the jokes can be seen coming from a mile away . 
still , smith keeps the zingers coming at a sufficiently rapid pace . 
among the actors , fiorentino and rickman stand out by far . 
fiorentino virtually by herself gives the film emotional weight . 
damon and affleck are fairly lackluster . 
rock and hayek exist in the film pretty much only as comic relief as are mews and smith . 
but the latter duo fare much better because jay and silent bob , who recur in all of smith's movies , are much more in line with smith's brand of humor . 
bud cort , george carlin , janeane garofalo , guinevere turner , and alanis morissette all make cameo appearances . 
"
"1","review : ghost dog : the way of the samurai ( 1999 ) 
cast : forest whitaker , henry silva , cliff gorman , john tormey , gene riffini , victor argo , tricia vessey , isaach de bankole' , camille winbush director : jim jarmusch writer : jim jarmusch 
rating : good shot ( stars ) 
languid , yet pointed and focused , ghost dog : the way of the samurai sublimely savages our cultural fascination with the mafia and the sleek , ultra-cool , cinematic image of the hitman . 
juxtaposing the samurai's honor code of feudal japan against the tradition bound modus operandi of the american/italian mafia , it ceaselessly chips away with a sculptor's precision at the archaic foundations of both as they lumber , dinosaur-like , to function in the modern era . 
director jarmusch gleefully plays the iconoclast , ripping into mafioso precepts with splashes of acidic wit . 
using a palate of bleached colors , jarmusch lugubriously maintains a tone of desolation that belies the many sparks of laugh out loud humor punctuating the film . 
he doesn't cater to audience expectations of hyper-colorized , stylized violence and gunplay where no one dies . 
the action is presented in flat , brutal codas . 
bullets have permanence . 
death has consequences . 
the movie rises beyond standard conventions to become a meditation on the concepts of honor and loyalty . 
it is an anti-movie , of sorts . 
there are few photogenic , empathetic characters for the audience to fall in love with . 
this isn't a film that lovingly holds your hand . 
there are dark , contemplative moments and the film firmly holds you by the shoulder , just so , asserting itself for all to see . 
the fulcrum for the movie's thematic balancing act is ghost dog , a mafia hitman . 
a twist on the stereotypical image of the mob enforcer , ghost dog is a hilarious contradiction in terms . 
unlike the sleek , muscular killing machines one is accustomed to , we are given an inner city black man who is overweight and slovenly , replete with chapped , dirty hands and rumpled clothing . 
he wears a hooded sweatshirt , which he often pulls over his head , giving him a monk-like appearance . 
there are no acrobatic back flips and shiny super guns in his arsenal . 
he uses old , worn weapons and simply goes about his tasks in economical , efficient and pleasureless fashion . 
ghost dog is a disciple of the old ways of the samurai , distilling the essence of his life through the filter of a book , which he reads daily , hagakure : the way of the samurai . 
life consists of simple pleasures for him : ice cream , warm rooftop naps and good books . 
ghost dog lives , as it were , by the basic tenet expressed by his book ; one should start each day considering oneself as dead . 
living atop an abandoned building , surrounded by his flock of pet carrier pigeons , ghost dog exists in a netherworld lacking creature comforts and friends . 
he craves nothing more . 
as he puts it late in the film , "" i've seen all i want to see . "" 
he exists in a spiritual world of the mind , gaining moral sustenance from his readings . 
ghost dog wasn't always as he is presented . 
in several roshomon-like flashbacks , it's shown how ghost dog was assaulted by racist white males and beaten nearly to death until the timely intervention of a good samaritan , that "" samaritan "" being a foot soldier in an aging crime family . 
ghost dog pledges his life to the service of the man , louie ( tormey ) , as repayment . 
after years of loyal service , ghost dog is sent , by louie , to kill "" handsome frank "" , a made man within louie's organization who has run away with the crime boss's daughter , louise ( vessey ) . 
ghost dog wordlessly executes his task , witnessed by louise , whom he spares , as she sits watching a betty boop cartoon , clutching a copy of the book , roshomon . 
in a bit of synchronicity , louise loans the book to ghost dog . 
upset that frank was taken out by someone not from the family , the mob bosses , in turn , put out a hit on ghost dog in a perverse twist of loyalty to their assassinated comrade . 
the rest of movie holds the dated value systems of both the mafia and ghost dog up to the light of a new millennium with many acerbic asides as the two come factions come into conflict . 
the theme of old cartoons flares up time and again , each time showing cartoon violence that is in sharp counterpoint to the reality of ghost dog's world . 
each time a character is shown watching a cartoon , it's from the same era , betty boop , felix the cat , etc . , a reflection of days gone by . 
near the end , louise is watching a cartoon that's a departure from the previously shown ones . 
it's a bit of audacity on jarmusch's part that is nicely effective , despite it's surrealistic nature . 
as ghost dog floats through his world , his life is touched by two people . 
one is a sage little girl ( winbush ) who connects with ghost dog through their love of reading . 
she comes to symbolize a melding of the old ways and new sensibilities , just as louise ultimately does . 
by film's end , the fact that jamusch is so effective at illustrating the tenuous bond between the two is a testament to his skill as a writer . 
the other person in ghost dog's world is an ice cream ( de bankole' ) vendor who only speaks french , yet intuitively shares a rapport with ghost dog . 
the vendor is the literal stranger in a strange land . 
jarmusch , through rapper/composer rza , underscores his film with rap and reggae music , which at first blush seems dichotomous , but its primal rhythms serve to strengthen the fundamental nature of the movie . 
ghost dog seems to draw some type of strength from the rap music he listens to as he negotiates the streets in various stolen cars . 
 ( which , in and of itself , presents another paradox about ghost's dog's sense of honor . ) 
the head mafioso is played by henry silva with a stone faced resignation . 
of all the cartoonish mobsters , he is the only one who appears self aware of his state in the world . 
gorman plays sonny , a lieutenant who respects the old ways , yet has a quirky affinity for rap music , a love comically shown in several impromptu displays . 
ruffini seems the truest reflection of the mafia . 
he is a husk of a man , assisted by two hearing aids , who barks out advice without truly hearing what he , or others are saying . 
whitaker carries the film by using what truly great actor's use , his face . 
ghost dog is reticent to speak , often going for long periods without doing so . 
the fact that whitaker can convey such a wide range of emotion through a gesture or look is a remarkable talent . 
although the film has a deliberate pace , some of the late night drives and walks taken by ghost dog dragged the momentum down . 
truly tragic is how ghost dog misinterprets japanese honor in his final confrontation with the mob . 
he reveals himself to be so desperate for spiritual guidance through the hagakure that he fails to truly adapt it to what is real and true in his world . 
carried on the shoulders of a remarkable performance by whitaker , ghost dog rises beyond being a characterization or icon , into a figure that garners sympathy , if not a bit of pity . 
"
"1","i rented "" brokedown palace "" last night blind , having heard nothing about it beforehand , and i enjoyed it immensely despite some flaws . 
for anyone wishing to have the same experience i would suggest reserving judgement of the movie until viewing it in its entirety . 
that is no easy task . 
superficially , it bears an unfortunate ( and not necessarily unintended ) resemblance to several other movies , notably "" return to paradise "" and "" midnight express . "" 
as a result nearly every review of "" brokedown palace "" i subsequently read became hopelessly entangled in making the obvious comparisons . 
the consequence was nearly universal condemnation , which is a shame as this is a fine film . 
for those who have yet to view the movie , let me say that it is not an attempt to portray the nightmarish reality of the third world criminal justice system ( as was "" midnight express "" ) nor completely the moral dilemma and examination of the meaning of friendship and humanity that was the heart of "" return to paradise . "" 
in my view , if this film is to be compared to any other source it would have to be joseph conrad's acclaimed novel , "" lord jim . "" 
problematically , the basic storyline seems more than familiar : two american teenage girls on vacation are sentenced to spend most of their lives in a thai prison for drug smuggling in an obvious set-up involving a suave con-man , a shadowy criminal conspiracy and a corrupt third world "" justice "" system . 
the girls are alice ( claire danes ) and darlene ( kate beckinsale ) . 
they're life-long buddies who planned a high-school graduation trip to hawaii , and then secretly changed their destination to the more exotic thailand without telling their parents . 
once there , they find a $6 hotel and go sight-seeing , which includes sneaking into a luxury hotel to sip expensive drinks poolside . 
they get caught trying to charge the bill to the wrong room , a minor transgression which will later come back to haunt them , but they are saved from hotel security by a charming , friendly australian , nick ( daniel lapaine ) , who takes care of the bill with a more polished execution of the girl's scam . 
he then proceeds to separate the girls and make smooth moves , first toward alice , then toward darlene . 
by now alarm bells are going off among viewers . 
the ever-present nick is too slick and his stories don't add up ( to us ) --the girls , of course , are too naive to notice . 
long before it happens , we're anticipating the inevitable disappearance of the fast-talking smuggler and the arrest of our teenaged sitting-ducks at the airport en route to hong kong caught holding the bag ( literally ) containing heroin . 
just as predictably , the thai police and courts do their part in meting out injustice and our trusting tourists are prison-bound for a long stretch . 
left unanswered is the red herring issue of whether one or the other of the girls was a willing accomplice . 
for those in need of a ready answer , might i suggest closer scrutiny of the bell hop at the girl's fleabag hotel . 
as one door after another to their comfortable former life is closed , the girls and their families turn in desperation to the noiresque expatriate lawyer/fixer "" yankee hank "" ( bill pullam ) and his thai-born partner-wife . 
a recurring element of the movie is the tension between appearance and reality as expressed in one of the film's tag lines , "" who do you trust ? , "" and hank is no exception although seasoned movie- goers and those familiar with pullman's oeuvre will find few surprises . 
much of the remainder of the movie is a smorgasbord of intriguing themes incompletely explored in short-hand fashion . 
lou diamond phillips , for instance , plays a delightfully sinister and callous dea agent who , while appearing to be casually accommodating to hank , withholds vital information at crucial moments . 
is he part of a wider conspiracy ? 
with an inherently powerful , if somewhat tired premise , the film offers by parts a riveting courtroom drama , a prison story , and a potential character study of american teens , their relationship , and what constitutes friendship between them . 
the result is reasonably engaging and suspenseful , with the girls' interaction , hank's investigation , and the various trials and hearings , offering hope for their release , delivering tension--as does the foredoomed possibility of their escape . 
if "" brokedown palace "" has a major flaw , it is its creators' tendency , like time-constrained tourists , to take frequent side trips down fascinating alleys only to reverse direction half-way down and return to the story's main avenue . 
and , if that were all there was to "" brokedown palace , "" it wouldn't be a very good movie . 
but i believe the writers and director were after bigger game and , in this , they succeeded . 
for the main theme of the movie , like the proffered name of its location , is freedom--in all its permutations . 
ultimately , the other sub-themes may be considered window dressing . 
young and pretty , alice ( danes ) is an old soul ; a wild , streetwise teenager with a thirst for freedom and adventure . 
presented as a perfect blend of yin and yang , dark and light , is her cautious best friend , darlene ( beckinsale ) . 
clear-eyed and straightforward , alice is more complex than her friend . 
she comes from a poorer background , has a reputation for getting into trouble and has lost the trust of everyone ( including her own father ) . 
whereas darlene's life is "" on-track , "" aimed at college , marriage , kids , a career , a suburban home , middle age and "" fulfillment , "" alice's is uncertain , unfocused , and yearning . 
one poignant scene in the film shows darlene shouting across an open moat to visitors--friends and relatives from home , whose lives continue while hers is in limbo . 
tellingly , alice is present but not included . 
just as revealing of their different personalities , when alice and dar first come to thailand , the openness and delight on alice's face doesn't read as simple naivet ? ; the way she stands up and stretches as she and her friend ride along in a small boat , reaching toward the sun , she really is drinking in what she believes to be freedom , while "" dar "" remains seated in the shade . 
 "" brokedown palace "" begins with an admission by alice of her guilt in a tape recording sent to hank . 
however unintentional , it's all alice's fault . 
she's responsible for persuading her friend to lie to her parents , to sneak away from the safety of hawaii to the perils of thailand , to try the petty scam which places them in the clutches of the evil nick . 
 ( in case one misses this point in the inevitable confusion of a film's beginning , darlene obligingly reminds alice of her culpability in prison . ) 
dar , of course , is the willing dupe which , in her view , confers innocence . 
never mind that it was her coercion of a reluctant alice to accompany her to hong kong which placed them in police custody in the first place or that her naive confession sealed their fate . 
dar is innocent . 
it doesn't matter . 
alice is the subject of this movie . 
she and her journey toward personal freedom . 
along the way we are treated to an unsympathetic portrait of the shallow american culture which created these girls with their half-baked sensibilities and materialistic goals . 
in the end , that culture , like its representatives , "" yankee "" hank and dar's father ( a "" man who knows how to grease the wheels "" ) , proves as impotent as its government in the face of the girl's tragedy . 
thailand's culture , contrary to most opinion , comes off much better by comparison . 
it amazes me that reviewers argued this point at both extremes . 
i believe the filmmaker's view was that thai culture is vastly different from the american but not necessarily inferior . 
the thai ( with the sole exceptions of a corrupt official and a spiteful prison spy ) were uniformly consistent in their behavior and true to their principles . 
the girls were shown to be treated no better but certainly no worse than the native-born . 
their prison ( in stark contrast to the probable reality ) was no hellhole , being relatively clean and sunlit . 
the prison authorities demanded good hygiene , provided medical care when needed , and "" hard manual labor "" consisted of picking grass ! 
the thai guards were authoritarian ( what else ? ) but certainly not routinely sadistic . 
as for the thai justice system , the reasoning of the thai judges , during both an appeal hearing and in the film's penultimate scene was devastating in its logic and morality . 
'freedom' has many faces and "" brokedown palace "" explores many of them . 
in the extreme , we have freedom of the body and freedom of the spirit . 
some settle for the former alone while others remain imprisoned with an entire nation to roam without the latter . 
but freedom seldom comes without a price . 
which is why the movie's other tag lines are : "" what is your dream ? "" 
and "" how far would you go ? "" 
i believe i could make a good case for the interpretation that the person who attains freedom , incarcerated or not , by film's end is alice . 
she finds redemption and salvation through the acceptance of personal responsibility . 
i think the light bathing only her figure among the assembled prisoners in the final scene visually signals that fact . 
kate beckinsale's character might more properly be likened to the "" released "" temple bird referred to twice during the film , "" trained to fly back to its cage . "" 
as the thai magistrate observed in the film's climactic scene , the issue was always one of "" character ; "" and the jamaican prisoner made it clear that "" freedom "" is achieved within oneself . 
if one thinks back over the movie , which character was transformed by their experiences ? 
increasingly , the cinema landscape seems to have become littered with endless permutations of 'kung fu woman'--female characters virtually indistinguishable from male action figures . 
here , at last , is the story of a modern heroine . 
in reading the many user's comments , i was struck by what seems an unusual phenomenon : whether or not a person liked the movie , almost everyone praised the actors . 
think about that . 
when was the last time you came away from a motion picture possibly hating it , but raving about all the performances in it ? 
do yourself a favor : rent "" brokedown palace "" and watch it with a open mind . 
there's more there than meets the eye . 
"
"1","everyone's heard about this movie , and more specifically , * the * scene . 
everyone's heard the famous barnyard animal quote squealed ( no pun intended ) over and over . 
and everyone's got to admit that they will never travel down a river again without thinking of deliverance . 
good ! 
that's what you're supposed to do ! 
oh , if you are one of the ones who hasn't seen this yet , or you ( somehow ) haven't heard about what happens , here's your spoiler warning . 
deliverance was a real shocker for it's time ( 1972 ) . 
major advances were being made in films , and deliverance made its own advances when it introduced a new horror into the film industry . 
when it was first released , it literally shocked the audiences . 
it was something that , for the most part , had really never been seen on the big screen before ( among wide-release films with an r rating ) . 
but by today's film standards and in today's world , such scenes as the one in deliverance can be reproduced in a way that isn't as shocking , although they can be even more graphic ( e . g . 
pulp fiction ) . 
pulp fiction did it in a way , and expanded on it in a way , that it could even be interpreted as funny . 
but in 1972 , deliverance was no laughing matter . 
the story centers around a group of four atlanta men who decide to take a rafting trip down a backwoods river in georgia while the river is still there and in its glory . 
the initial leader of the group is lewis ( burt reynolds in his prime ) , a real outdoorsman and more of a daniel boone-type then any of the others . 
joining him are ed ( jon voight ) , bobby ( ned beatty ) , and drew ( ronny cox ) . 
the group's first objective is to find someone ( s ) to drive their cars down the river to the point where they will end their trip . 
they make arrangements with a few mountain men , who accept $40 . 00 for the task . 
drew also has the famous "" dueling banjos "" competition with a local who is , let us say , genetically challenged . 
the men then set off down the river , with lewis , also the master at canoeing , leading the way . 
everything seems to be going fine , until the two canoes split up , leaving the unexperienced ed and bobby alone . 
they encounter two hillbillies , armed with a shotgun , who captured them . 
ed is tied to a tree while bobby is sodomized by one of the men . 
ed nearly receives the same cruelty , but lewis arrives just in time to fire an arrow through the rapist's back . 
the other hillbilly gets away , and the men have to decide what to do with the dead body . 
disposing of dead bodies is done rather frequent throughout this film . 
while attempting to make a quick "" paddle for it "" , both canoes tip over . 
drew , who was without a life jacket , was possibly shot and cannot be found . 
lewis suffered a rather nasty compound fracture during the incident and is in serious condition . 
this leaves ed and bobby . 
ed decides to go out and look for the remaining hillbilly , alone , with the bow and arrow . 
the question arises if he will be able to handle himself , as he horribly botched a first shot attempt at a deer , to which his comment "" i wonder how anyone could kill a living thing "" will have more meaning in the future . 
deliverance is definitely a wild ride ( oops , i'm doing it again ) . 
it is extremely tense at some points and very dramatic . 
it's definitely one of those "" must see "" movies and should be considered one of the classics of its decade . 
"
"1","in october of 1997 , audiences were dazzled by the horror surprise hit i know what you did last summer . 
the film went on to gross over 70 million dollars in the u . s . , and even developed a cult following , much like the previous year's 100 million dollar grossing scream . 
when the trailer hit theaters in september attached to urban legend , it looked like a wonderful follow-up . 
did it live up to the first film ? 
the answer is no . 
jennifer love hewitt returns as julie james , a survivor of the serial killer that attempted to kill her and her friends a year before . 
she has been so upset since the incident . 
nightmares haunt her all over the place , but she has to move on . 
she know attends college , and is best friends with a funny , outgoing girl named karla ( brandy ) , who is trying to hook julie up with will benson , played by newcomer matthew settle . 
karla's boyfriend is tyrell , the funny , outgoing type , who is played by soul food's mekhi phifer . 
freddie prinze jr . also returns as ray , julie's boyfriend from a year ago . 
one morning , julie and karla are called up by a local radio station who are offering four tickets to the bahamas if they can correctly identify the capital of brazil . 
of course , they answer it correctly , and they are off to the bahamas . 
julie wants ray to come , but he declines the offer , so karla secretly invites will instead to help boost her plan of hooking him up with julie . 
after they arrive at their hotel , it is just them and the staff on the island . 
it starts off as the weekend of their dreams . 
something just had to come to mess up the one care-free weekend of julie's life though . 
ben willis ( muse watson ) is back , and he isn't letting anyone survive this time . 
will ray come to the rescue before he can kill them off one by one ? 
jennifer love hewitt and brandy turn in respectable performances . 
brandy in particular was impressive , considering this is her first feature film . 
you could see that the characters were horrified , and they would do anything possible to survive . 
matthew settle and freddie prinze jr . are a completely different story . 
let's start with settle . 
matthew is completely fake in this film . 
you could not believe a word coming out of his mouth . 
you could tell he was acting , and its reasons like him that this one isn't as good as the first one . 
he does do a good job towards the end , but that doesn't clear up the scars he already left on the film . 
freddie prinze jr . is almost as bad as matthew settle was . 
he is almost completely unbelievable , and the majority of his lines are completely meaningless and out of place . 
we don't see him as much as settle , otherwise he could have done just as much damage as settle did . 
mekhi phifer is alright as tyrell , but yet again the dialogue is out of place . 
the plot of i still know turns out to be a pretty good one at the end of the movie . 
i like where the filmmakers went with this second installment , but maybe if it occurred in the same town as the first one , it would have been a bit better . 
the cinematography and setting of their island are simply wonderful . 
there are a lot of very nice shots around their hotel . 
the sound is pretty good , but still not as creepy as the first film's . 
jennifer love hewitt's song , "" how do i deal "" is also played for about thirty seconds . 
i still know what you did last summer is nothing compared to the first film . 
the first film was very suspenseful , and it contained some very memorable scenes . 
the last fifteen minutes of i still know what you did last summer really picked up , and almost reached the same level as the first film . 
before this part in the film , there are many unnecessary deaths and fake scares . 
that is okay though , because the film is still very much fun and there are a few suspenseful scenes . 
i think the reason this film wasn't as scary as the original was because in the first one , the killer terrorized the people involved in the incident . 
he made them suffer for what they did . 
in the second film , ben willis just kills anyone he feels like . 
he doesn't stick with ray and julie , who were the ones he is actually after . 
he had to go after karla , will , and tyrell . 
if the characters he stalked were in some relation to the incident that went on when he was ran over by julie , ray , helen , and barry , it could have been much better , and it would have made a lot more sense . 
the bottom line- not a disappointment , but a third in the series would be out of hand . 
"
"1","brian depalma needs a hit * really * badly . 
since scoring big with the untouchables in 1987 , depalma has seen casualties of war , raising cain and particularly the disastrous bonfire of the vanities go down in flames . 
consequently , it would be easy enough to consider carlito's way a shrewd commercial choice for depalma , reteaming with al pacino ( scarface ) and returning to the gangland ground which has yielded his two greatest box office successes . 
it doesn't hurt any that he has latched on to a solid story and brought out dynamite performances from pacino and sean penn . 
carlito's way , while hampered by depalma's characteristic excesses and stylistic cannibalism , is a truly tense and engrossing drama . 
carlito brigante ( pacino ) is a life-long criminal who finds himself unexpectedly given a second chance . 
in 1975 , carlito is released from prison after serving only five years of a thirty year sentence when his conviction is overturned on a technicality . 
he declares himself reformed , tired of life on the streets and determined to fulfill his simple dream of buying into a rental car business in the bahamas . 
among those who find this conversion hard to believe are david kleinfeld ( penn ) , carlito's crooked attorney and childhood friend , and bodyguard pachanga ( luis guzman ) . 
carlito rediscovers old flame gail ( penelope ann miller ) , and seems ready to retire in peace . 
old ways die hard , though , and old associates pull carlito step by step back into a life he can't seem to shake . 
carlito's way will probably make the strongest impression with the two outstanding set pieces which bracket the film . 
in the first , carlito accompanies his young cousin on a drug buy which will have anyone with a pulse on the edge of their seat ; the film closes with an equally thrilling chase through the new york subway and grand central station . 
both highlight depalma's gift for choreographed mayhem , and these are not the only occasions when the stage blood flows freely . 
yet for all the viscera , i found the character study even more compelling . 
carlito brigante has a lot of michael corleone in him , an aging gangster trying unsuccessfully to go legit . 
but where the culmination of the godfather saga played like opera , there's more of an immediacy to carlito's way , an ever-present sense of doom launched by the title sequence which sets the flashback story in motion . 
you sense that there's no way , after so many years , that carlito can stay out of trouble . 
indeed , he observes that his attempt at the straight life is more a function of time than a change of heart : "" you don't get reformed ; you just run out of wind . "" 
pacino captures carlito's dilemma with surprising subtlety and the cautious observation borne of years of experience watching every corner for an enemy . 
sean penn is even better , turning in his best performance to date as kleinfeld . 
a jew in the world of puerto rican and italian wiseguys , kleinfeld is an outsider with a huge chip on his shoulder . 
he could have been simply pathetic , a heavy drinker and cocaine addict playing tough with guys way out of his league , but penn invests kleinfeld with tremendous nervous energy and an overwhelming survival instinct . 
he shows a man moving steadily towards the brink , making the moment he goes over quite jolting . 
as compelling as the narrative is , viewers may experience a profound sense of deja vu . 
depalma continues to steal shamelessly from other directors , this time adding scorsese to his repertoire with a point of view tracking shot and a copacabana scene with more than passing resemblances to goodfellas . 
he even recycles some of his own previous plagiarisms , like a 360 degree swing around a kiss ( vertigo via body double ) and the climactic shootout which will strike many as far too reminiscent of the train station sequence from the untouchables . 
from a story standpoint , there's an obligatory love story with a cliche'd long-suffering girlfriend character . 
penelope ann miller is a good but limited actor who doesn't do anything new with the role , and eventually she becomes just a distraction , never integrated fully enough into the story . 
still , it's easier to be forgiving of superficial flaws when the backbone is so solid . 
the two principle characters held an iron grip on my attention , one all the cinematic thievery in the world couldn't break . 
carlito's way plays like a tragic novel : deliberate , confident and powerful . 
those willing to grant depalma his tendencies towards the extreme should find themselves well- rewarded . 
"
"1","i've never been a huge fan of jeff bridges , but i loved him in the big lebowski . 
the part of jeff "" the dude "" lebowski was reportedly written specifically with bridges in mind , and the fit is perfect . 
the dude is an unemployed denizen of los angeles , a hippie slob on a bowling team with a soft spot for white russians . 
he's enjoying a leisurely soak in the tub when two thugs break into his apartment demanding to be paid for the money his wife owes . 
after much pleading he convinces them they have the wrong guy , but not before they urinate on his rug . 
the dude assumes that these "" collection agents "" were after another jeff lebowski , a famous millionaire who also lives in l . a . so he goes to meet his namesake to ask for enough money to replace his rug . 
the millionaire refuses , but calls him back when he discovers his wife has been kidnaped . 
he wants the dude to act as go-between for the kidnapers . 
dude and his friend walter ( john goodman ) take on the task , and get caught in an intricate web of kidnapers , millionaires , high schoolers , nihilists , artists , pornographers , thugs , and league bowlers . 
comedy is perhaps the most subjective of genres , so take my recommendation as you will : for me , the big lebowski is very funny . 
it is an incredibly successful comedy , the ratio of laughs to intended jokes much higher than in most films . 
not only are the two leads ( bridges and goodman ) funny separately and together , but each supporting character is a refreshing comic figure . 
all the characters end up as the butt of jokes , but the jokes are always deserved and never contrived . 
each person may be a comic caricature , but there is always a respectful self-acceptance that lets us laugh at these people without condescension . 
the characters are firmly established , and they never change their behavior for a quick , cheap laugh . 
it's not what they do that's funny , it's who they are , which is why the acting is so important , and so successful , in this movie . 
worth mentioning are john turturro as jesus ( that's jee-zus , not hay-soos ) , the greaser bowler who's in a lusty marriage with the game ; julianne moore as the post-post-feminist artist whose work has been described as "" vaginal ; "" steve buscemi as the eager tagalong bowler who is constantly rebuked and ignored by teammates dude and walter ; and sam elliott as the rambling , long-winded narrator . 
aside from the performances , what makes all the characters funny and interesting is the astute dialogue . 
people lose trains of thought , they interrupt , they boast , they repeat themselves , they repeat their friends . . . 
they sound natural . 
taken with fargo , the coen brothers' last film , it is evidence that the brothers are observant listeners and gifted writers . 
ethan coen is not just good at directing actors , he's also good at technical directing . 
he and cinematographr roger deakins created a beautiful world on film . 
perhaps "" beautiful "" is the wrong word ; nihilists , carpet-pissers and thugs are not objects of beauty . 
but the bowling photography and a series of viking/bowling fantasy dream sequences are lovingly photographed , as though the dude himself were in charge of immortalizing them on film . 
all around , the big lebowski is great , solid comedy . 
outstanding acting , writing , direction and photography all combine to make this a great comic success . 
"
"1","synopsis : captain picard and the crew of the starship enterprise disobey federation orders and defend a peaceful community of 600 , the ba'ku , from the evil admiral dougherty and ru'afro . 
the enterprise crew , in the meantime , experience the rejuvenating qualities of the ba'ku homeworld : lt . worf grows a pimple , data sings opera pieces , picard scores with a ba'ku chick , riker shaves while sharing a bubblebath with troi , and the enterprise women note their firmer breasts . 
comments : "" star trek : the next generation "" was a hugely successful sequel tv series to "" star trek , "" a science fiction series which developed a devoted fan following in the 1970s . 
even though it still enjoyed high ratings , "" star trek : the next generation "" ended production after seven years so that the cast could replace the original "" star trek "" 's cast in paramount's film franchise centering on the voyages of the starship enterprise . 
star trek : insurrection is the ninth "" star trek "" movie and the third to focus on the "" star trek : the next generation "" crew . 
star trek : insurrection qualifies as one of those movies star trek fans , such as myself , would rate somewhere between "" okay "" and "" good . "" 
after star trek v : the final frontier , a nearly awful movie almost as bad as the repugnant "" star trek : voyager "" tv series , "" star trek "" fans could probably swallow anything paramount throws out in the trek film franchise . 
i don't wish to spend this review comparing insurrection to the eight other trek movies . 
most people reading this probably haven't followed "" star trek "" anyway , so a comparison would seem tedious at best . 
let me , thus , make my comparisons briefly so that it's out of my system : star trek : insurrection is not as good as the previous installment , star trek : first contact ; star trek : insurrection's comic tone may be best compared to star trek iv : the voyage home ; star trek ii : the wrath of khan is still the best trek movie . 
okay . let's move to the movie itself . 
star trek : insurrection infuses a basic science fiction premise , humanity's exploration and colonization of space , with a lot of lowbrow humor and witty oneliners . 
this combination works well more often than it fails , but when it does fail , the humor really seems cheesy . 
much of this film appeals to trek fans' nostalgic fondness for the starship enterprise's crew . 
audiences unfamiliar with trek lore may miss the significance of some plot points and may even become confused at times . 
star trek : insurrection begins with scenes of the tranquil life on the ba'ku homeworld . 
forget the actors and special effects , the beautiful setting of this movie , with its snowy mountaintops and verdant valleys , steals the show . 
this tranquility , however , is broken by data , an android , who reveals to the ba'ku that they are being secretly monitored by the federation and their alien allies , the son'a . 
it seems that this world is a veritable fountain of youth , sustaining its inhabitants indefinantly in a young , healthy state . 
the enterprise crew , led by captain picard , investigates data's actions and uncovers a conspiracy between the son'a and an enterprise admiral to relocate the ba'ku and plunder the planet's youth-restoring properties . 
sound pretty heavy ? 
it is , though this plot , anything but unique and groundbreaking , is undermined by the film's constant barrage of humor . 
when going after data , for instance , picard sings an opera piece with him ( this is supposed to be cute and humorous ) . 
in a much more funny sequence , work grows a large pimple on the side of his nose as a result of his exposure to the ba'ku homeworld , a pimple which his crewmates , try as they might , cannot avoid looking at . 
the acting in star trek : insurrection is , for the most part , pretty good . 
since they've been playing these characters for years , those portraying the enterprise crew reassume their roles effortlessly enough . 
the terrific actor patrick stewart plays captain jean-luc picard and delivers a moral speech , picard's trademark , with his usual aplomb . 
brent spiner , another fine actor , plays the android data well enough again and provides the best moments of comic relief in the film ( though the old android-wishing-to-be-human motif will tire some trek fans familiar with the routine from the tv series ) . 
the supporting cast who appear in this movie alone are also pretty good . 
despite many other critics' negative opinions , f . murray abraham ( the winner of an academy award for his performance in amadeus ) plays the major villain ru'afro well enough . 
ru'afro reminds me , somewhat , of the baron harkonnen in the 1984 film version of dune . 
like the baron , ru'afro continuously has his skin looked after : it is stretched and stapled by servants . 
in one particularly memorable scene , ru'afro becomes very agitated , and his facial skin splits open and bleeds . 
ru'afro is no khan from star trek ii--the best trek villain ever--but he is much better than the forgettable dr . soran from star trek : generations . 
 ( okay , i promise , no more comparisons . ) 
donna murphy must also be noted as a ba'ku woman , anij , who picard falls in love with . 
murphy is not a young woman with a supermodel body ; she is a mature woman with an attractive countenance . 
this is the type of woman whom picard , for those who know the character well , would be enchanted with . 
in fact , the chemistry between murphy and stewart works very well here . 
a particular plot point involving anij's ability to slow time down , an ability which she shares with picard , becomes one of the most intriguing parts of the movie . 
for as good as the actors and setting were , star trek : insurrection's special effects were surprisingly disappointing . 
they proved adequate , sometimes barely , for a 1990s mainstream science fiction film , but they fell way short of the standard trek movie and paled in comparison to those seen in the trailer for star wars : the phantom menace ( a trailer which reportedly preceded many showings of insurrection ) . 
the space battles involving the enterprise and sona ships , in particular , seemed trite and unsuspenseful , and the final confrontation between picard and ru'afro took place on a completely unconvincing interior of a satellite . 
the new enterprise itself , only seen in this film and its predecessor , remains largely unexplored , though its exterior doesn't look quite right for a reason i cannot explain . 
despite star trek : insurrection's frequent comic goofiness and occasional substandard special effects , i enjoyed the film . 
it maintains roddenberry's largely optimistic view of the future and rejects the gritty violence of its predecessors , particularly star trek : first contact ( though , don't get me wrong , the dark tones of trek films like first contact can work very successfully ) . 
i'd recommend insurrection as a matinee film for a saturday afternoon , especially for fans of trek or science fiction in general . 
rated pg , i can't see this film being objectionable to the viewing audience , young or old . 
"
"1","us critic-type people are always shaking our heads and telling everyone that movies aren't thrill rides , but i think that "" back to the future ii "" is one of the few exceptions . 
if the original film had the spirit of the 1950s , then this has the spirit of the 80s : full of fights ; chase scenes ; cliff hangers ; special effects ; some detective work ; and of course the vision of the high-tech future . 
the film picks up exactly where the first film left off , with doc ( lloyd ) , marty ( fox ) , and jennifer ( elizabeth shue ) travelling 30 years into the future , because something bad is going to happen to marty and jennifer's kids . 
doc tells marty he must take his son's place at an incident that will cause a chain reaction if marty mcfly jr . says yes to griff ( wilson - in one of four different roles ) . 
whoever said history tends to repeat itself wasn't joking , especially when it comes to the movies . 
essentially the same chase scene that marty endured in the 50s takes place again in the year 2015 , but it's not as authentically exciting this time because it is so obviously a parody of itself . 
at the end of the situation marty has changed the course of history for the better , and it seems like everything's copasetic right ? 
wrong . 
since when do things go according to plan in the "" back to the future "" movies ? 
there are so many minor conflicts and details that effect the plot and the direction of the story i won't even bother to list them all . 
basically we get to see marty as an old man , his house , his family , etc . we also go back to an alternate 1985 , and then back again to 1955 , with everything happening so fast the film never stops to catch a breath . 
the films' best aspect is the fact that it actually goes back to the first movie and shows a lot of the action that occurred from another angle . 
it's difficult to convey the sense of wild and zany fun without describing every little detail . 
the only thing sacrificed in this film is the suspense . 
instead of a grand finale , we get lots of little victories . 
by the end everything is back to normal , but something happens that leads to yet another sequel , but it doesn't seem gratuitous . 
 "" back to the future part ii "" is a really great adventure movie . 
it certainly has more originality than other films but it lacks a certain charm that was dominate throughout its predecessor . 
"
"1","magnolia left me relling from the theatre , staggering from the relentless assault of an adventurous director reveling in his craft . 
at nearly three and a half hours , magnolia will strike some as a brute of a film . 
it not only demands your attention , but challenges you to grasp the significance of seemingly unrelated storylines and hidden intentions . 
it is delirious , depressing , heady , pretentious , surreal filmmaking . 
it's also a movie that will polarize its viewers . 
director paul thomas anderson takes a talented cast , wraps them in a net of interrelated stories and sets them spinning in a symphony of despair whose song doesn't let up until an oddly exhilerating , biblically influenced pseudo-climax . 
the character's make up a modern day gomorrah in the soulless way in which they live their lives . 
there is frank mackey ( tom cruise ) , a slithery snake charmer of men whose "" search and destroy "" seminars teach how to mentally rape a woman to get into her pants . 
there is earl partridge ( jason robards ) , a dying media tycoon yearning to make amends for a lfe of callousness by finding his estranged son . 
there is game show host jimmy gator ( phillip baker hall ) , a self absorbed tv icon who is hiding more than a few secrets from his public . 
and there is police officer jim kurring ( john c . reilly ) , who cloaks himself in the codification of organized religion and the legal system , perhaps masking a man who needs rules to fuel his decision making process . 
given equal weight are stories involving a coke-addled emotional cripple ( melora walters ) , a former tv quiz show champion ( william h . macy ) . 
a materialistic , adulterous wife ( julianne moore ) , a child ( jeremy blackman ) victimized by a mentally abusive parent , and a caring , empathetic nurse ( philip seymour hoffman ) . 
hovering over all these characters is a cloud of death , lies and despair . 
it is not a pleasant movie . 
there is not one bad note in the acting . 
it is affecting and layered and wonderful . 
there is a moment where tom cruise wordlessly implodes that rivals work he has done in whole films . 
then he tops himself with a mesmerizing deathbed scene . 
walters plays her character with red-eyed rawness and a fierce self-destructiveness that is anxiety inducing . 
robards convincingly portrays a fading whisper of a man , who still hears a lion's roar when he speaks . 
director anderson has apparently given the actors lattitude to emote . 
the problem is that he stays on them too long . 
julianne moore's character , linda , quickly escalates to a frenzied pitch of guilt , tears , screaming and remorse and never backs off from it . 
after a few hours , it turns from interesting to chinese water torture . 
quite a few scenes , such as the game show , go on just a bit too long and will be off-putting for those used to a pat 90 minute film where the main theme is reiterated several times just in case you missed it the first go around . 
and just what is the theme ? 
alienation ? 
hopelessness ? 
anderson challenges you to draw your own conclusions and he doesn't make it easy . 
the film starts by showing three , strange and seemingly unrelated events . 
it's a harbinger of the synchronicity to come . 
at times , different stories reach reach key moments at the same time . 
other times , stories seem to veer off into uncharted territory , regardless of what else is happening . 
anderson is audacious enough to even have a group sing in the middle of the film ! 
what's surprising is that it mostly works . 
if you have doubts about anderson's intentions , i'll ask you to pay attention to the final frame . 
despite all the sturm und drang , magnolia ultimately speaks to man's capacity for hope and attempts at redemption . 
despite magnolia's needlessly long running time and its propensity for uneven editing as anderson plays the auteur , showing off fro the masses , i have to admire his guts . 
this is truly adventurous filmmaking that spits in the face of conventional storytelling . 
my rating : a bulleye . 
 ( stars ) 
a side note : helping anchor the film is a perfectly matched soundtrack featuring aimee mann . 
her lyrics often add depth to a scene thematically while the actual music is both morose and beautiful . 
when she sings "" save me "" at the end , it enhances the yearning felt by the characters , just as "" wise up "" mirrors the anguish felt by all as they contemplate their lives . 
"
"1","a group of high school kids mix up with a group of hip-hop artists as a documentarian strives to discover why today's youth seem attracted to black culture . 
the review 
if black & white , the new film from writer/director james toback , is eventually remembered for only one thing , it will be the revelation that brooke shields , claudia schiffer , marla maples and mike tyson can act . 
however , this partly improvised gem will be remembered for more than that . 
black & white is a fascinating film ; it makes a statement about america's youth and hip-hop culture without getting heavy-handed overly serious . 
featuring a cast of known commodities ( ben stiller , robert downey jr . ) and hot newcomers ( singers bijou phillips ) , toback's is a complex film worth seeing . 
black & white has multiple storylines that are all related to each other , a la robert altman . 
there is dean the basketball player ( allan houston ) who is asked to rig games for money by mark clear ( stiller ) in exchange for fifty grand a game . 
this eventually spills over into the life of dean's long-time friend rich ( power ) , a gangsta who controls 20 city blocks of harlem . 
rich has to deal with the imminent opening of a white-owned club on his turf . 
meanwhile , the young white girls who like to hang around with rich and his homies get talked into being in a documentary by sam donager ( shields ) and her gay husband terry ( downey jr . ) . 
others who make appearances are william lee scott as the young white punk will , joe pantoliano as his district attorney father , jared leto as a high school teacher , marla maples as the mother of one of hip-hop crazed teens , claudia schiffer as dean's girlfriend , and mike tyson as . . . 
mike tyson . 
the stories ebb and flow through the film , losing and gaining prominence over time . 
friendships are lost , lovers are gained , and there is an occasional burst of violence . 
originally rated nc-17 in the united states , black & white features a lot of sex between black gangstas and young white girls . 
while the film was trimmed down to a tamer r rating , viewers will wonder what could be more explicit than what they are seeing . 
the three-way sexual beginning of the film nicely warns viewers of what they are in for , and several audience members got up and left at that point . 
the frequent sex is one of the film's few flaws as the titillation is overdone and at times completely unrelated to anything else going on in the film . 
to toback's credit , the level of violence in black & white is almost nil . 
these gangstas and hip-hop artists are given real problems and concerns , and only become gun-toting crazies when it benefits them to appear that way . 
whenever a character finds himself on donager's handheld digital camera , he starts spouting off righteous tirades on america and proclaims his independence , but not everyone has fully bought into the idea . 
charlie ( phillips ) is full of bluster about why she loves hip-hop , but admits that "" in ten years time , i'll be way over this . "" 
these youth know they are going through a phase , and are simply enjoying it . 
toback fills the spaces between these tirades with scenes that are lightweight and funny . 
most of the humour comes from mike tyson , who provides the film's comic relief without really trying . 
he is given big words like vernacular to say , and as rich tries to discuss a particular street problem with tyson , he frequently has to ask him to use smaller words and explain himself better , playing on tyson's image as a dimwit . 
but tyson also gets the film's scariest moment . 
as he is mercilessly hit upon by the very gay terry , tyson is a marvel to watch as he fights to remain calm . 
the scene is entirely improvised , with downey jr . being told to just keep at tyson until he gets a reaction . 
the reaction he gets , being slapped and then choked is astonishing , as downey jr's face turns a frightening shade of purple . 
black & white is a film about hip-hop culture , and the film's omnipresent hip-hop soundtrack strongly supports this . 
but toback keeps things from becoming too serious ; by moving from story to story as quickly as he does , toback keeps us from becoming attached to any one character's struggle . 
thus black & white's message about hip-hop becomes secondary to the film itself . 
toback just wants us to have fun and maybe learn a little about hip-hop along the way . 
and we do . 
"
"1","one year has passed since the last time we saw them , and but wayne campbell and garth algar are back but , they've moved out of their parents homes , and now have their own pad in an abandoned warehouse . 
wayne's still hopelessly infatuated with his girlfriend , cassandra , and of course garth is still having his own , personal growing pains . 
they guys are just finishing off one of their shows , and head off to an aerosmith concert where they run across cassandra and her new manager , a stereotypical industry slime not unlike the character rob lowe portrayed in the previous film . 
again , the promoter is not only after the money that cassandra's talent can bring in . 
the storyline quickly degrades to a parallel of the original , "" guy loses chick , guy realizes mistake , and guy gets chick back . "" 
fortunately , there is more to this movie than this somewhat sheer plot . 
the wit and humor in this film are surprisingly intelligent and fresh with many inside jokes on the film and music industries as well as just a lot of hilarious scenes of wayne and garth showing their true color . 
highlights of the movie include a spoof of jurassic park , garth's seduction by a married woman , a surprise appearance by charleton heston , a 1960's batman setup in the guy's pad , and some pretty groovy chats with jim morrison and some "" naked indian guy , "" an unexpected lip-sync of ymca ( you could see that one coming a mile away ) and of course a hilarious parody of those badly-dubbed kung-fu movies we love to laugh at . 
and if you've ever wondered why there's always boxes of watermelons , chickens , and people walking plate glass in the middle of streets , you'll find out here . 
this movie also explores wayne and garth a little more . 
garth has somewhat of a "" coming of age "" and wayne gets to learn a little about himself ( with a little help from our old friend , jim morrison ) . 
a few old jokes from the previous movie are explored here again , but this time with a few twists to keep them fresh , and luckily , few , if any of them are overused . 
overall , the movie has plenty of continuity flaws ( especially in the fight scent between garth and cassandra's dad ) , but these are easily overlooked as this is , after wayne's world . 
the plot is flimsy but manageable . 
there are a few special effects , but they are fairly seamless , and fill nicely into the plot . 
the acting is good , for this sort of movie , but there are some very bright spots . 
in the big picture , this movie is just plain fun . 
there is lots of intelligent humor that makes this film special . 
during the whole one hour and 40 minutes , i didn't even think about looking at my watch a single time . 
silly , but riotous at times , this is an excellent movie even better than the original . 
"
"1","john carpenter directed this stylish and gory vampire flick to which has it's good side and it's bad . 
it's held up by some good performances and dazzling special effects leading up to an ending that's pretty satisfying . 
james woods gives an outstanding performance that almost covers up the movie . 
the good side : some neat scenes of vampires and violence . 
the bad : no scares . 
yes that's right , even though being directed by one of horror's most cherished directors , 'vampires' is the least bit scary , if not at all . 
james woods stars as jack a vampire hunter out to stop the plans of the 'master' vampire valek played by thomas ian griffith whom wants vampires to walk in the daylight . 
daniel baldwin plays his sidekick montoya , a wise-cracking guy who really isn't that funny . 
in the opening scene jack along with montoya and the team of vampire hunters , find an abandoned house to which vampire occupy . 
of course we all know sunshine kills vampires , and that is just how they kill these vampires : hooking them to ropes and dragging them outside letting them burn to death . 
after throwing a party for what happened , the vampires that did not die come back to trash it . 
they kill almost all of jack's team , leaving only a few alive . 
sheryl lee plays a prostitute katrina who was bitten by valek , but not yet turned into a vampire . 
she is rescued by jack and ? flees with them on their search for valek . 
they have to fight they're way against vampires , leading up to a finale that is well-done with great special effects . 
'vampires' definately could have been done better . 
the make-up , special effects and story are first rate , but there is no scares or terror that the film could have had . 
it to me had more humor than horror , almost being compared to 'fright night' with the mix of violence and comedy . 
john carpenter does a great job of directing this film . 
he eases through some tough times and saves the flaws , which are noticeable but forgettable . 
the script is clever and funny , with many lines that make us laugh out loud . 
i much enjoyed 'vampires' with a few exceptions . 
it's one of those films you see but don't take to heart . 
you enjoy the time you spent and go on . 
the recently released 'psycho' is the same way , it's not as good as you'd hope but it is fun and entertaining . 
'vampires' is a good horror flick with no scares but plenty of other content to please the viewer . 
"
"1","in the wake of the smashing success of "" rumble in the bronx , "" it's looking more and more likely that more jackie chan films will see american release . 
rumor has it that one of these films will be drunken master ii . 
the version i have is a copy from the laserdisc ; it's widescreen and bilingually-subtitled , as are most hong kong films these days . 
availability over here in the united states is very limited ; these films must either be purchased via pirates or sought out from asian distributors such as tai seng . 
the subtitling on the copy i have is slightly hard to read ; the letters are white and a bit small . 
although the american release will almost certainly be dubbed , this review is of the subtitled version , so please keep that in mind if you're reading this review to help you decide whether to go out and see it . 
to be fair , i must admit that i've never been very fond of "" period-piece "" martial arts movies--the ones set in some nebulous china of the distant or not so distant past . 
perhaps it's because most of those i've seen were filmed on inferior stock , with either butchered dubbing or all-but-illegible subtitling , or perhaps it's because their plots all tend to be very similar to each other and , in many cases , all but nonexistant . 
in fact , many of them get so wrapped up in their subplots that they seem to forget their main plot entirely until only a few minutes before the end . 
or , for that matter , it might be because the jackie chan films with more modern settings ( armour of god , rumble in the bronx , etc . ) tend to have more spectacular stunts , often involving large motor vehicles and large explosions , whereas period pieces simply have the martial arts . 
having said that , i must now turn right around and say that drunken master ii is a remarkable exception to all or most of the above , is one of the better martial arts films i've seen , and i quite enjoyed it . 
surprised ? 
well , so was i . 
drunken master ii is about a young man named wong fei-hong ( played by jackie chan ) who is a master of the drunken boxing style of kung fu . 
where he learned this style is uncertain , as his father , wong kei-ying ( ti lung ) is steadfast in his opposition to fei-hong's practicing it rather than some more normal style of kung fu . 
apparently , fei-hong is some sort of figure from chinese folklore , rather like paul bunyan is for americans , but i've heard very little about this , and could quite well be wrong , so i'll leave analysis of that to the people who know it better . 
one of my friends points out that the character of wong fei-hong is also featured in the "" once upon a time in china "" movies , but i have not yet seen those . 
the plot of drunken master ii is somewhat hazy , as are the plots to many such films , but if you're watching a jackie chan film , odds are you aren't expecting something on the order of "" war and peace "" . 
the story seems to revolve around those evil foreigners who are spiriting away ancient chinese relics ( and hence , china's cultural heritage ) while overworking , underpaying , and beating up chinese workers in a nearby steel mill . 
however , this plot merely serves as a framework for the other main story of the film--fei-hong's perpetual struggle to win his girlfriend , supplicate his father , keep his ( pregnant ) mother ( played by anita mui ) from fighting , and keep from getting beaten up by evil foreigner thugs . 
the macguffin that drives the plot ( s ) is a precious antique jade imperial seal which is being taken away by the evil foreigners . 
in the beginning , fei-hong accidentally steals it while trying to recover an identically-wrapped box containing the medicinal ginseng his father was bringing back for a customer . 
in the process , he clashes with another thief , who is himself trying for the seal but ends up instead with the ginseng . 
after fei-hong narrowly avoids getting caught with the seal by the evil foreigners' lackies , thanks to some timely intervention by a general's son ( a cameo appearance by andy lau , who would later take on the starring role in drunken master iii ! ) , comedic chaos ensues back at the wong household when fei-hong and his mother attempt to come up with a replacement for the missing ginseng . 
and so it goes . 
and the plot thickens later on , such as when fei-hong's girlfriend maneuvers him into a kung fu match with a rival , or when fei-hong and the thief , now revealed to be a loyalist manchu officer trying to recover the seal and stop the evil foreigners , are attacked en masse ( another grand kung-fu movie tradition ) , but i think i've already spent more time on the plot than it really deserves . 
let's move on to the real draw of jackie chan movies . . . the 
action . 
there's plenty of martial arts action to be found in this movie . . . of 
course , in a kung fu film , that's to be expected . 
however , this isn't just another kung fu movie ; this one has jackie chan doing the fight and stunt choreography , and jackie chan is a genius . 
the primary martial arts "" style "" featured in the film is drunken boxing , a form of kung fu which attempts to draw the adversary off his guard by making it seem like the fellow using it is drunk . 
further , for the purposes of this film at least , drunken boxers fight better when they actually _are_ intoxicated . . . but 
there's a fine line between just drunk enough and drunk into a stupor . 
under normal circumstances , the idea of someone staggering around looking sloshed but managing to fight effectively and even incredibly might seem rather stupid , but jackie pulls it off with flair . 
the kung fu sequences are so intricate in their staging and execution that it is pointless to try to describe it on paper , so i'll just say that the fights--especially the big climactic fight at the end--in themselves make the movie worth watching . 
another thing drunken master ii has going for it is the stunt work . 
even without motor vehicles ( well , not counting a train ) , there are some remarkable stunts in this film . 
among other things , jackie dives off a balcony into a table and crawls across hot coals ( not once , but at _least_ twice , if you count the outtake shown during the credits ) . 
 ( quicktime movies of these stunts can be found through the www movie database . ) 
unlike in american films , these stunts are _not_ faked . 
drunken master ii stars several veteran actors of the hong kong movie scene , including jackie , ti lung ( "" a better tomorrow "" 1 & 2 ) , and anita mui ( the "" heroic trio "" series , "" rumble in the bronx "" ) . 
the performances are first-rate , especially when it comes to the comedy parts of the film . 
the scene where fei-hong and his mother conspire literally behind fei-hong's father's back to cover up for the missing ginseng root is hilarious , as is the scene where fei-hong's mother , having just revealed that she is pregnant , is threatening to hurt herself ( in order to draw her husband's anger away from fei-hong ) . 
jackie has developed his knack for physical comedy into a sort of mastery over the years , and he's in fine form all through drunken master ii . 
as far as cinematography is concerned , it certainly works for this film . 
it's nothing spectacular , but is at least a dozen times better than all those old kung fu movies of the 70s . 
the picture is crisp and clear . 
one thing i find particularly worthy of mention is that , at least in the copy i have , the screen was wider than any film i've ever seen on videotape before--almost a whole 1/3 of the screen was blocked out above and below . 
 ( watch this on a bigscreen tv or movie theater if you can . ) 
it will be an utter shame if this film is eventually pan-and-scanned for american video release . 
drunken master ii shows the full potential of "" period piece "" kung fu movies , and it's good enough to overcome even my usual distaste for such movies . 
the plot does meander a bit , but that's to be expected in this type of film . 
if you like this kind of movie , you'll love this movie , and if not , well , give it a chance anyway . 
if nothing else , the martial arts and stunt sequences are by themselves worth the price of admission or rental . 
"
"1","at first glance , three kings looks to be just another war movie , the 90s version of all those favourite war movies with names i cannot remember . 
the 90s version , it definitely is , just another war movie ? 
not in your dreams ! 
imagine pulp fiction approach to saving private ryan , thats three kings for you . 
believe it or not , it bears the cool of the former and the stark humane meaning of the latter . 
the story brings us to the twilight of the gulf war , with the allied troops victorious . 
majpr archie gates ( clooney ) leads an enterprising bunch of grunts to a rather unorthodox post-war looting spree ; the millions in gold bars secretly stowed away by saddam in a desolate village in the desert . 
as the rest of the troops are celebrating their victory and getting ready to be shipped home , this `wild bunch goes awol on an armed hum-vee ( the vehicle of choice of the us army ) . 
they soon find out that they have much resistance , as they get tangled with the local rebellion against saddams forces . 
frequently switching their modes between looters and robin hoods merry men , they become consciously attacked by their own morals . 
as the film begins to roll , it seemed to have a rather `light mood to it . 
`special effects such as when gates describes to his men how a bullet can kill simply paves the way for a light-hearted funny action movie . 
three kings is much smarter than that . 
as the conflict becomes more and more complex , the audience will be trapped in a limbo , trying to stay focussed on that light-mood/serious-mood that the film seem to portray . 
i personally found this analogous to the same feelings of the main characters involved in the film ; trapped between their initial plan paved by greed and their own sense of humanity . 
this simply made the entire experience of watching three kings truly brilliant . 
action sequences are not shot as your old-fashioned war films nor anything like steven spielbergs in-your-face war violence . 
they are carefully built to generate tension with just the right tight close-ups and pauses , right before the action starts . 
not john woo for sure but more of sergio leones spaghetti western style ( tons of them starring clint eastwood ) . 
great performances by clooney and wahlberg but the brilliance have to lie in the conception of this film ; the screenwriter and the director . 
three kings ranks among the best films of the year , well , for me at least . 
highly recommended . 
"
"1","mickey mouse had better watch his back -- there's a new critter in town , and he's the nameless animal attraction of "" mouse hunt , "" dreamworks skg's clever first foray into family fare . 
although it runs out of steam towards its end , this live-action comedy still boasts enough energized slapstick and inventive set pieces to best disney's entire 1997 non-animated , kiddie-oriented catalog . . . 
but consider that list includes dismal tripe like "" air bud , "" "" flubber "" and "" that darn cat , "" and it's really not such a difficult feat to pull off . 
still , throw the two rodents in a boxing arena , and i'll be hoping that the mouse from "" mouse hunt "" knocks some sense back into mickey . 
nathan lane ( robin williams' significant other from "" the birdcage "" ) and lee evans ( last seen as a nervous bellhop in "" the fifth element "" ) play ernie and lars smuntz , befuddled brothers who have just inherited two unwanted assets from their late father ( william hickey , in his last role ) -- a dilapidated old string factory and a dilapidated old mansion . 
although lars made a deathbed promise to upkeep the former , he and ernie decide to sell the latter for big bucks after learning it was designed by a famed architect . 
but there's a lone obstacle in their way -- a single mouse lives within the walls of the house , and he's not about to give up his place of residence without a fight . 
movies aimed at young audiences are rarely this visually exquisite . 
the effects blending the talents of 60-some live mice , one animatronic mouse and one computer-generated mouse are pretty seamless . 
the splendid production design seems to be straight out of tim burton's mind ; the smuntz's architecturally-unsound mansion is like something straight out of "" the nightmare before christmas , "" and the vortex of bizarre machinery in their factory resembles some of vincent price's warped contraptions from "" edward scissorhands . "" 
 "" mouse hunt "" is a pretty dark movie -- even some of the humor can be grim -- but it's hardly ever mean-spirited . 
the star of the show is neither the top-billed lane nor the titular mouse . 
it's lanky british comedian evans , whose hysterical bodily antics suggest a cleaned-up jim carrey without the obnoxious overkill ( note a toned-down but nonetheless outrageous impromptu striptease ) ; evans' banter with the ever-affable lane is funny stuff , too , and holds its own against the movie's more flashy physical shtick . 
vicki lewis ( beth from "" newsradio "" ) is solid in a supporting role as lars' money-grubbing wife . 
and in a nifty bit of novelty casting , christopher walken is a macabre delight as a spooky exterminator who takes his job a little too seriously , popping a dropping into his mouth and noting to his tape recorder that the mouse has a "" calcium deficiency . "" 
blech . 
a basically one-joke idea -- a mouse outsmarts a couple of bumbling humans -- is given a rather engaging execution . 
their sparring is imaginatively realized ( i don't think i'll ever forget the sight of that tiny little mouse making his getaway on a rolling wheel of gouda ) , and although you really never fully root for either side , that's okay -- a warm-and-fuzzy union between the two parties is practically promised from the first frame they share . 
 "" mouse hunt "" may take a while to get going ( the rather lengthy set-up could test the patience of some of the younger children , although i rather liked it , much in part to lane and evans ) , and the climactic sequence is allowed to play out for a bit too long , but this appears to be one family movie that most members of the family will be able to find agreeable , not unlike the original "" home alone . "" 
"
"1","a miracle of filmmaking , "" some like it hot "" is a brilliant film , and maybe the foremost example of slapstick comedy brought to screen with clever sight gags and plot twists . 
it is the pinnacle of writer-director billy wilder's career , a stunning feat considering the vast catalogue of films he had helped make . 
jerry ( lemmon ) and joe ( curtis ) are two stage musicians who go from gig to gig , trying to earn enough money to feed themselves . 
one night , as they're playing at a banned prohibition speakeasy , the place is raided . 
as it turns out , the owner , spats columbo ( george raft ) was ratted out by toothpick charlie ( george e . stone ) . 
several weeks later , on valentine's day , jerry and joe go to a garage to pick up a car and end up witnessing a gangland murder of charlie by columbo in a parking garage . 
eager to escape , the duo are forced to take a job in florida with all expenses paid . 
the only catch . . its a girls band . 
so josephine ( curtis ) and daphne ( lemmon ) , make their way onto the train and go to florida . 
on the way there , they meet sugar kane ( monroe ) , a bombshell singer who is looking for love . 
jerry and joe immediately fall for the singer , but there's two problems : 1 ) they're in drag , and 2 ) millionaire osgood fielding ( joe e . brown ) falls madly in love with daphne . 
what follows in pure hysteria , still complicated further by the arrival of spats columbo to florida for the "" italian opera lovers festival "" . 
tony curtis is hysterical as joe/josephine , especially in his preposterous attempts to woo sugar . 
marilyn monroe , in a wonderfully comic performance , is sugar , providing incredible timing and sex appeal , along with true sincerity . 
the scenes , however , are all stolen by either brown or lemmon . 
lemmon is hysterical as daphne . 
cast as the less rational one , lemmon's performance is ridiculously crazy , it is disorder in the style all billy wilder's . 
brown is particularly hilarious as osgood , as we are treated to the finest kind of comedic irony . 
he manages to use lemmon's ingenious performance as a springboard for an even loonier performance as a completely eccentric millionaire . 
every set-piece is flawless , as wilder brilliantly changes settings constantly , and uses every comic trick in the book to make his picture . 
wilder's script is stunning , as he carefully combines gangsters , cross-dressing , romance , sex , music , gender roles , and social taboos in a riotous blend of wit and oddball craziness . 
wilder manages to create scenes of utter hysteria , so pitch-perfect that the audience is dying of laughter with the last comic piece , the final line of this absolutely incredible film . 
wilder's is dead wrong when he says nobody's perfect : billy wilder is , especially when he makes something this disastrously funny . 
nobody's perfect but billy wilder . 
"
"1","a welcome cinematic trend over the past couple of years has been to make the works of shakespeare more accessible to the younger audiences who are the vast majority of moviegoers by contemporizing the bard and altering the settings to familiar surroundings . 
a prime example of this is 1999's 10 things i hate about you , which was basically the taming of the shrew in a high school . 
less successful was last year's adaptation of hamlet with ethan hawke as the heir apparent of the denmark corp . here the setting was the corporate world of new york . 
now comes o , a faithful retelling of one of the most tragic of shakespeare's tragedies . 
like 10 things i hate about you , the stage is a high school - a private prep school where odin james ( mekhi phifer ) is the on-court general , the basketball team's standout player . 
julia stiles , featured in 10 things i hate about you as well as performing ophelia in hawke's hamlet , plays desi brable , odin's girlfriend , whose father also happens to be dean of the institution . 
josh hartnett ( pearl harbor ) is on hand for the villainy , playing the scheming hugo , who sets the tragic wheels in motion . 
o was actually filmed a couple of years ago , but was shelved because of the columbine high school tragedy . 
the movie , directed by tim blake nelson - best known for his co-starring role in o brother , where art thou ? 
- and written by brad kaaya , is very grim . 
an air of tragedy weighs it down from the opening scene to the closing credits . 
and that is how it should be . 
of all of shakespeare's tragedies , othello is the most harrowing , not because of any body count , but because of the psychological havoc wreaked by iago , whose motivation in the sheer pleasure of his treachery . 
kaaya's profane-filled script - after all , these are high school kids - does offer hugo a subtle motive of sorts . 
the young man considers himself the basketball team's prime utility man who does a little bit of everything - pass , shoot , rebound - but is constantly in the shadow of odin . 
plus his father , the team's coach - played with a ferocious intensity by martin sheen - showers more love and concern on his star player than on his own flesh and blood . 
the script follows the familiar lines of the classic . 
hugo begins dropping hints to odin concerning desi's fidelity , eroding the star's confidence in those he considers closest to him , affecting both his relationships and his game . 
it all ends in blood , of course , which is why the movie was originally shelved . 
the performances in o vary . 
phifer is at first cocky and self-assured , emotions he handles with ease . 
he also does quite well displaying odin's darker side ; his defensive sensitivity about being the only black at the institution , his growing distrust of those he loved , his rage and the erosion of his belief system . 
hartnett is appropriately cool and machiavellian as he weaves his deadly web of lies and deceit , turning friend against friend , and lover against lover . 
stiles seems a bit stilted , but occasionally also rises to the occasion , moving from adoration to confusion to fear of her young knight . 
the film does contain a few missteps : a subplot involving hugo's theft of the school mascot is left hanging . 
also desi's actions concerning michael ( andrew keegan ) , odin's former teammate and best friend who was kicked off the team because of one of hugo's machinations , is puzzling . 
why she would continually be seen with michael - however innocent the circumstances - when she knows her man suspects the two of cheating behind his back . 
it is irrational . 
but these are minor carpings . 
overall , o is a stylish and faithful adaptation . 
if nothing else , it may encourage some people to read the original text , and that will counterbalance the severity of this feature . 
"
"1","there is a scene early in soul food , george tillman's comedy-drama about a large african-american family and the ordeals they go through during a crisis , that caught me completely off guard . 
during a wedding , the groom is flirting with some tramp , and in an attempt to to prevent a scene , his mother in law , played by irma p . hall , comes to the rescue . 
the way in which she does this makes me think irma p . hall is one of the greatest actresses around right now . 
however , this is just one magical moment in a movie filled with them . 
vanessa williams , vivica fox , and nia long star as three sisters who have each gone their own way in life . 
williams is teri , a successful lawyer , who is frustrated by her husband miles attempts at a music career . 
fox is maxine , the strongest of the sisters , which can be confirmed by the stability of her marriage and the wisdom of her son ahmad , who narrates the film . 
long is bird , a hairdresser who is the last of the three to get married . 
her husband lem is an intense passionate individual whose temper gets the best of him sometime but never stops loving . 
at the center of everything is irma p . hall , as big mama jo . 
every sunday , the family gathers together for dinner at mama jo's house . 
there is lots of conversation , lots of laughs , and the occasional controversy . 
mama jo presides over the family like all mothers should . 
she is stern and disciplined , but also caring and forgiving . 
everything is going fine , until a tragedy befalls mama jo . 
all of a sudden , a chain reaction of events begin to destroy the family . 
it gets so bad , sunday dinner is even cancelled . 
without mama jo's guidance , there is noone to keep the family together , which frustrates ahmad . 
miles and maxine's marriage begins to fall apart , as he focuses on his music and flirts with the troublesome faith . 
lem's temper gets the best of him when his convict past starts to catch up to him . 
and teri tries to prevent maxine's efforts to sell mama jo's house . 
the third act of the film deals with ahmad's attempts to patch things up . 
he decides to take over where mama jo left off , and tries to get the family back together for one more sunday dinner . 
the acting by everyone in the ensemble is outstanding , with special notices to irma p . hall and brandon hammond . 
hall gives a performance that deserves to be recognized by the academy . 
her mama jo is one of the most memorable characters i have ever encountered in a movie . 
brandon hammond is an actor with a bright future . 
he is wise enough not to play cutesy and shows an admirable range and depth , and speaks the final lines of the movie on the perfect note . 
tillman obviously based this movie on his own memories of growing up . 
every scene in the movie is purposeful and convincing ( except maybe an odd flashback sequence ) . 
the dialogue is beleiveable and funny . 
and then there's the food . 
tillman gives us several close ups of the soul food , and it indeed looks very tasty . 
i can see why sunday dinners became such a tradition for this family . 
soul food is one of the most purely entertaining movies of the year . 
"
"1","director david fincher has such an eye for detail which is very rare in hollywood these days ( terry gilliam comes to mind as another one ) . 
film is one of the best art forms because not only can you tell a story , but you can use the camera to capture the smallest detail and have it mean something . 
but most directors seem to go for action with the slightest ounce of a story . 
so whenever a director uses the camera to its fullest potential , the film almost automatically deserves a good review . 
and when they add a fascinating story to it , you have nearly perfect entertainment . 
fincher's the game is no exception to this . 
the game is one of the most interesting and complex films to come out of hollywood in a long time . 
fincher hasn't made a film since "" seven , "" his box office and critical hit which defied expectations and became one of the best movies ever . 
so it is about time he made another film . 
and what a ride it is . 
the game isn't quite as powerful as "" seven , "" but in some ways it is better . 
overall , the game could have used a little more clarity , or a little more uncertainty . 
it walks a line of insanity and reality , but it never goes either way until the very end . 
the outcome is satisfying enough for the preceding events , and it makes a lot of sense once everything is set straight . 
unfortunately , unlike "" the usual suspects , "" we are never given enough information to figure out for ourselves what is happening , whether it be true or false . 
however , this also gives the film a frightening aspect which the game uses to the fullest extent . 
the game is told completely from its main character's point of view . 
nicholas van orton ( michael douglas ) is a high-strung and isolated businessman . 
he lives alone in his giant mansion , divorced from his wife elizabeth , and is celebrating his 48th birthday ; the same age at which his father committed suicide at , in the same mansion . 
for his 48th birthday , conrad ( sean penn ) , the rebel of the family , gives nicholas a gift certificate to crs : consumer recreation services . 
 "" it will make your life fun again , "" his brother promises . 
as skeptical as nicholas is , he is somewhat intrigued , and annoyed by the lack of information--something this businessman hates . 
seeing a billboard in an office , he decides to visit the mysterious company . 
jim feingold ( james rebhorn ) greets nicholas and guides him through the sign-up process , which consists of psych-tests , physicals , emotional responses , and other mind games . 
 "" each game is suited to each person's emotional and psychological needs , "" explains feingold . 
one day , nicholas gets a call from crs and they explain that he failed the tests . 
even more intrigued and now somewhat angered at the time he spent signing up , he starts asking around to see what people can tell him about the company . 
what he doesn't realize is that the game has already begun . 
the phone call is just the first of many strange events to be thrown nicholas' way . 
how he finds out that he is involved has to be witnessed because it is amusing and fun and visually impressive . 
the detail involved in fincher's shots is incredible and almost requires a second viewing just to appreciate the effort that went into them . 
with "" seven , "" fincher had almost every single shot mean something . 
he also has the unique ability to make you look at exactly what he wants you to . 
compared to "" seven , "" though , the game is light and comical . 
because of this film's sense of humor and self-awareness , nothing can be taken quite seriously . 
so don't try to make much sense of what goes on in the game , because it doesn't want you to . 
what does make sense is the final revelation--when everything becomes apparent and clear . 
if taken as it is , the game's ending makes complete sense . 
but if you try and critique every minute detail , then you get yourself into plot holes and incredibility . 
perhaps that is the reason i docked the film . 
while trying to remain realistic and plausible , the plot is too unbelievable to create any real tension on screen . 
we don't really care if douglas' character lives or not because it isn't believable . 
the ending requires you to have believed anything that has happened previously , but if you suspend disbelief and take the film as it is , you can accept the game as an emotionally and psycholically disturbing thriller . 
michael douglas gives a terrific performance as nicholas . 
douglas has played lonely businessmen before , but here he adds another level to his performance . 
his character , who is normally level-headed and relies on facts , is forced to trust nobody . 
can he believe the waitress he bumped into ? 
what about his brother who got him involved in the game in the first place ? 
douglas portrays this aspect of his character extremely well , and gives one of his best performances ( even better than his "" falling down "" persona ) . 
the supporting cast is essential in this film , and casting was critical . 
sean penn is always good , and he gives yet another credible performance as douglas' brother . 
deborah kara unger ( from "" crash "" ) is the waitress he bumps into , and her performance is extremely good . 
in fact , she almost steals the film from douglas . 
james rebhorn portrays his character very well , and adds some confusion and desparation to douglas' predicament . 
another good performance comes from armin mueller-stahl ( from "" shine "" ) as the book editor . 
but considering that douglas is in every single scene of the game , he not only commands this cast , but makes this distant and lonely character come to colorful life . 
the game is rated r for language , violence , some gore , and some nudity and drugs . 
what is essential for this film to work is the writing . 
john brancato and michael ferris have woven a confusing and compelling screenplay with witty dialogue , and some very funny moments . 
this screenplay will probably get an oscar nomination for best original screenplay because it does almost exactly the same thing the usual suspects' did . 
however , the visuals of the game are enough to make the viewer enjoy the vexing plot . 
and if you can get yourself to believe everything occuring on the screen , you will be thoroughly entertained by one of this year's best films . 
"
"1","originally launched in 1978 , this popular film was re-introduced in 1998 to a whole new generation of moviegoers . 
based on the mighty successful musical from broadway , grease was followed in 1980 with the less stellar grease 2 ( 6 . 5/10 ) , 
starring a young michelle pheiffer in one of her first feature film roles . 
plot : high-school musical set in the 1950's showcasing the relationship between the cool danny zuko of the t-birds ( travolta ) and the innocent and pure sandy olsen ( newton-john ) from australia . 
the film follows the couple and their vivacious friends during their last year at rydell high through song , dance and humour . 
critique : fun-loving , energetic and innocent look back at times much simpler . 
this movie effectively juggles a thin romantic story line and the overall experience of the 1950's , with a superb soundtrack and some great dance numbers . 
admittedly , i am somewhat biased in this opinion , since this film blasts me into my past as a rebellious youth ( grease was one of schmoe's first big-screen experiences , and every other scene sends me reeling into the times of my elaborate grease bubble-gum card collection ) , and the lesser responsibilities that i possessed at that time . 
but apart from the nostalgic vibe , i was still extremely impressed by this film , as it continued to amuse me , despite my previous dozen or so viewings . 
this film took john travolta from a dim-witted "" sweathog "" on tv's welcome back kotter , and transformed him into a movie-star of spectacular proportions ( saturday night fever ( 7 . 5/10 ) in 1979 confirmed that sudden popularity ) . 
unfortunately for the rest of the cast , his popularity was not terribly contagious , despite their effective showings in this classic movie . 
on the down side , some of the absolute innocence in this film might bore or turn people off ( like when sandy sings about "" drinking lemonade "" and "" staying out until 10 "" with danny in "" summer nights "" ) , and the plot isn't exactly the most elaborate story-line ever created , but despite these small reservations , this movie carries enough great music and high energy to keep anyone amused through its rapid 110 minute running time ( and believe me . . . i 
am not a fan of the musicals ! ! ) . 
make sure to look for a young lorenzo lamas in the static role of the brainless football player , as well as the national bandstand dance contest as one of the film's absolute highlights . 
and don't forget to buy the popular soundtrack afterwards , so that you could listen to its peppy tunes whenever you're feeling a little blue . 
little known facts : henry winkler , of tv's happy days' fonzie fame , turned down the part of danny zuko because he did not want to be typecast for the rest of his career . 
both travolta and conaway were smitten by newton-john during the filming of this picture . 
conaway eventually bowed out of the woo-fest , and married newton-john's sister a year later ( divorced after five years ) . 
"
"1","set in the late 80's at the height of yuppie excess and based on the book by bret easton ellis ( who explored the same themes in another book which was also made into a movie , less than zero ) , american psycho puts a new spin on the yuppie "" genre "" that ellis helped to create . 
christian bale is perfectly cast as patrick bateman , a high powered yuppie who hides a terrible secret from his fianc ? e and his colleagues . 
it seems that bateman is a serial killer and , unfortunately for his contemporaries , his tenuous grasp on reality is starting to slip . 
as he tries to balance his meticulous daily routines with slaughtering co-workers and prostitutes and hiding their bodies , his mental fabric slowly begins to unravel . 
i was first introduced to the novel when i was still in high school . 
i read an associated press article in our local sunday newspaper detailing the problems ellis was having getting his novel published due to the controversial violence in it . 
as usual when anything is controversial i try to seek it out , but i soon forgot about the novel and didn't end up thinking about it again until i stumbled across it a couple of years later at a bookstore . 
i picked it up and read it , but was ultimately disappointed because it left more questions than answers . 
the movie has a similar effect , but at least it's less cryptic than ellis' novel . 
for once , a film has actually turned out to be better than the novel it was based on . 
both the book and the film open with bateman describing his fastidious morning preparations ( down to exactly what facial scrubs and exfoliating creams he uses ) but the novel seems to concentrate more on these excesses throughout . 
the movie continues to touch upon these things but makes more of a point to immerse us in bateman's impending madness than to detail things as painstakingly as the novel does . 
as a result , the film is immensely more entertaining . 
lions gate seems to be the studio champion of controversial films ( having picked up kevin smith's catholic-rattling dogma ) and here with american psycho there is no difference . 
screenwriters mary harron and guinevere turner had the unenviable task of trying to take a novel about yuppies filled with graphic violence and sex and make a marketable film out of it . 
some cuts had to be made to the finished film to keep from getting an nc-17 , mainly involving a sex scene comprising bateman and two women , and initial reports said the film was unwatchable . 
thankfully , it is watchable and harron and turner have made one of the most scathingly satirical films this side of south park : bigger , longer & uncut . 
side note #1 : co-writer guinevere turner also makes an appearance in the film as an ill-fated acquaintance of bateman's who , after bateman suggests that she start making out with a female prostitute , proclaims that she's not a lesbian nor has any interest in it . 
the ironic humor of the scene stems from the fact that turner ( the writer/director of the film go fish and who also assisted kevin smith with parts of his script for chasing amy ) is a lesbian . 
it's a subtle in-joke and it's one i found to be pretty humorous . 
despite having a rather high profile supporting cast of young up-and-comers ( including reese witherspoon ) , most of the roles are a waste and are the equivalent of extended billed cameos . 
the real draw here is christian bale and his over-the-top performance as patrick bateman . 
whenever i read a novel i always try to imagine what it would be like as a movie and who would be perfect to cast as the characters . 
i always had a hard time trying to decide who i would cast as bateman , but i never thought bale would deliver a performance as perfect as his ends up being . 
to say bale runs away with the character is a vast understatement and he proves that he's as adept at chewing scenery as al pacino or rod steiger . 
one sequence in particular , involving bateman describing his love for huey lewis and the news' song "" hip to be square "" right before burying an axe in a co-worker's head , features one of the most eccentric and kinetic performances i have ever seen on film . 
side note #2 : despite the fact that huey lewis' "" hip to be square "" and a pair of phil collins songs appear in the film , don't expect to see them on the soundtrack release . 
huey lewis expressly requested that his song , featured in a rather large set piece in the film ( much akin to the use of "" stuck in the middle with you "" in reservoir dogs ) , not be included on any soundtrack release . 
i'm assuming that collins requested the same . 
on a similar note , whitney houston's cover of "" the greatest love of all "" is also involved in a scene comparable to the other two and it is very obvious that it isn't the houston version at all but merely an instrumental version culled from an unknown source . 
apparently , houston wasn't as open about the use of her song as the others were . 
a bigger controversy than the violence and sex has been brewing since the film's release : that of whether or not patrick has actually committed the crimes we have viewed during the course of the film . 
don't look to the book for any answers because it will only serve to confuse you more . 
several web sites have been dedicated to the subject but i'm still undecided . 
there is evidence both for and against but the most scathing evidence against comes from a scene near the end of the film where bateman goes on a killing spree taking out cops , old ladies , and cleaning staff with equal gusto . 
the scene seemed very dream-like and as absurd as the action films it suddenly seems to be parodying ( as an example , bateman blows up a police car very cinematically after firing several shots from a handgun in the general direction of the car ) . 
i kept waiting for bateman to wake up and for the film to continue on from there , but bateman never does wake up and the whole sequence , though comic , throws the film off-balance ( which i suppose was the intention ) . 
other than the few flaws i have mentioned , american psycho is an incredibly entertaining film ( although you may not leave the movie fully understanding whether or not what has just transpired actually occurred in bateman's reality ) . 
i think this movie is destined for greatness as a cult film and deserves the spot it will take as such . 
it may not change anyone's life , but it will certainly have an effect . 
i know i will certainly hear "" hip to be square "" in a different context the next time i hear it . 
[r] 
"
"1","ever wonder what happened to gabe kaplan ? 
you remember , he was the title character in that 70's sitcom , "" welcome back kotter . "" 
always trying to help out the sweathogs , frequently trying to dodge mr . woodman , ever wary of his wife's tuna casserole . 
 "" so , "" you ask , "" where is he now ? "" 
mr . kaplan actually spends much of his time these days playing professional high-stakes poker . 
that's right . 
i'm not sure if it's his main source of income , but from what i've heard , the guy occasionally comes away with $20 , 000 at a time . 
and there you were , thinking i was going to tell you he was doing off-broadway theater . 
you silly goose . 
well , gabe kaplan isn't in the movie rounders , nor is the film about the actor come gambler's life . 
but rounders is about poker , and gabe plays poker , and i thought that was kind of a neat connection . 
sorry about the segue , or lack thereof . 
matt damon plays mike mcdermott , a law student who also has a singular talent for the game of poker . 
he's been playing for a while , and more than being proficient , he has caught the bug . 
he goes to all the underground games in new york city , knows the regulars , and knows how to win . 
in the beginning of the film , he's built up a nice thirty grand nest egg , which he takes to the speakeasy-type gaming parlor where the big boys play . 
mike is there to make his bid into the upper echelon by staking it all against teddy kgb ( john malkovich ) , an oreo-munching cardshark with ties to the russian mafia . 
mike has the potential to take a large pot and go to vegas and buy into the world series of poker , but instead he loses it all in a single hand . 
months later , he's paying his way through law school by driving a delivery truck . 
when mike's best friend and poker buddy worm ( edward norton ) finishes his jail term for hustling some students , he wants to pick up right were they left off , working as a team to part others with their betting cash . 
although mike has stopped playing cards as a promise to his girlfriend and fellow law student , jo ( gretchen mol ) , worm connives mike into playing once more , and mike , bitten again by the bug , slides down that slippery slope , risking his relationship , education , and reputation as playing poker again becomes the focus of his life . 
to make a film about gambling , a filmmaker will usually have to play up the glamorous side to get the audience behind the characters . 
this is because few moviegoers will care a whole lot about some guy in a leisure suit or terry cloth shirt sitting at a folding card table with a stogie in his mouth . 
rounders , however , seems to go more for the latter than the former . 
the card clubs mike and worm frequent aren't very glamorous at all . 
there's a basement , a lodge with elk heads on the wall , a goulash joint - these are the kinds of locales in which director john dahl sets his shots . 
except for one brief instance when the two players visit atlantic city , the film is bereft of the flashing lights of the casinos or the pleasant color of the green felt table . 
the reason rounders still captures our attention is because it is less about the game of poker than it is about the personalities which enjoy and are slaves to it . 
we're given a nice set of interesting characters with clear motivations , and good actors to play them . 
matt damon is very natural as mike , who struggles between his desire to play the straight and narrow by finishing law school , and answering what may be his true calling , playing professional poker . 
ed norton's worm is truly a worm , always looking for the angle and playing everyone for what they're worth . 
john turturro , who amazes me with his acting range , tones it down in this film by playing joey knish , a virtual poker prodigy in his time who now plays the underground games to make rent and child support payments . 
he's both a friend and mentor to mike , and turturro's low-key performance is totally convincing , just as john malkovich's heavily-accented teddy kgb is imposing as an adversarial dragon mike must slay to prove himself . 
martin landau is also thrown into the mix as one of mike's law professors , abe petrovsky . 
while landau slips well into the role , his character , spitting out personal anecdotes about staying true to one's self , facilitates the channeling of the storyline toward a predictable ending . 
perhaps the weak link in the otherwise formidable line-up of acting talent , however , is gretchen mol who just didn't seem to have much presence on screen . 
she's a genuine peach to look at , kind of a cross between actress renee zellweger and singer jewel ( and i wouldn't be surprised if the three of them formed some kind of blond-haired triumvirate and attempted to take over the world ) , but her delivered lines seemed very flat , and i found myself looking for matt damon's reactions instead . 
a good thing about rounders is that it doesn't get bogged down in the character development and statement making so much that it can't find time for humor . 
the film is peppered nicely with scenes that both make you laugh and keep the pacing going , such as a sequence where mike and worm move rapidly around new york from one game to the next , in widely different locales . 
one game in a cigar club had me in stitches . 
 "" i love the sweetness of this dark maduro wrapper , "" says one of the players , clearly more interested in displaying his pretentiousness over the cigar in one hand than in the cards in his other . 
i was hoping mike and worm would really take these guys . 
with all the poker being played , rounders had the potential to be very confusing . 
you might think you know a lot about poker , but think again . 
luckily , we're given a narration by damon during the more intricate moments to explain what's going on . 
the narrations are more informative than intrusive , and apprise us of what the stakes are and why certain players want to do the things they do . 
it's nice that as the characters develop , so does our comprehension of their world . 
as a film about success and survival in the realm of underground poker , rounders delivers in spades . 
wait ! 
as a film about the culture of cards , rounders is an ace . 
hang on ! 
packed with great acting and great characters , rounders is a full house . 
okay , i guess that's enough . 
oh , by the way , if you ever want to get into a game with ol' gabe kaplan , be sure to bring a note from epstein's mother . 
"
"1","did you ever wonder if dennis rodman was actually from this planet ? 
or if sylvester stallone was some kind of weird extra-terrestrial ? 
i used to think that about my 7th grade english teacher , ms . carey . 
but after seeing this movie , they may have confirmed my suspicions . 
as the story goes , at any time , there are over a thousand aliens living among us here on earth . 
the men in black ( mib ) are the watchdogs that oversee the cosmic citizens , guardians of our beloved planet from nasty-tempered aliens , and secret service to the stars . 
based in new york city ( where weird is the norm ) , the mib organization gives human form to our space-faring emigrants so that they may walk and live among us unnoticed . 
but to enforce the laws of earth , the mib carry weapons that are powerful enough to meet or exceed destruction quotas in one single blast . 
they carry other-worldly technology to erase people's short-term memory when common folk see the mib in action . 
and their best leads on cosmic things-gone-awry are the supermarket tabloids . 
little do we know that there are much stronger battles of good v . evil going on in the depths of space . 
one of the aliens-as-human on this planet is an important diplomat that is carrying something very precious . 
it holds the 'key' , literally , to universal peace . 
a giant cockroach-like alien soon arrives on the planet and steals this 'key' . 
in the wrong alien hands ( flippers ? 
mandibles ? 
tentacles ? ) , it can be used as a weapon . 
therefore , it must be recovered and returned to it's rightful owners . 
otherwise , to ensure universal safety , earth will be destroyed , along with the 'key' . 
now , it's the mib who must prevent this catastrophe . 
the mib agents on the case are "" k "" , played by tommy lee jones . 
he is crustier than burnt toast and even more serious than al gore . 
the stars in the sky no longer spark wonder in his eyes . 
he is accompanied by a flippant rookie , "" j "" , played by will smith . 
but , despite this shoot-em-up , protect-earth-from-destruction premise , this is nothing at all like a typical summer action movie . 
and , this isn't an independence day knockoff . 
rather , this is a stylishly offbeat sci-fi comedy that pokes fun at what the government always denies ? that there are real aliens that live here , and that the government does its darndest to cover them up . 
but to give it some sense of excitement and to keep it within the parameters of the summer movie recipe , there must be some kind of earth-hangs-in-the-balance scenario . 
yet , this movie is very appealing . 
the abundance of wierdness ( talking aliens , pee-wee atomizers , a mortician who 'lives' for her work , and lots of yucky bugs and slime-splattering galore ) , is played straight , like as if this were normal ( of course , we are in nyc ) . 
it gives it a deadpan feel , which makes it all the more funnier and odder . 
jones plays the venerable seen-it-all agent with seriousness and maturity . 
smith is likeable and makes a great comic partner to jones' straight man routine . 
they click like dorothy's ruby red shoes . 
the look and feel of the movie is made even better with direction from barry sonnenfeld ( the addam's family ) . 
this guy has a knack for 'gothic' comedy , and successfully transfers his macabre sense of humor onto the screen . 
and , an appropriate dose of special effects helps to bolster the oddness of their task without diverting attention from the human actors . 
the story moves well , and before you know it , the end credits are already rolling ! 
the result is 100 minutes worth of fun in the form of ewwwws and blechhhs , aaaahhhs and wows . 
let the men in black protect and color your world . 
"
"1","i feel no hesitation in saying that "" there's something about mary "" is the best film that i will see all year . 
from the moment the credits started to roll at the end of the picture , there was no doubt in my mind that i had seen a masterpiece that will remain unsurpassed in the remaining months of 1998 . 
it is that good of a film . 
when gene siskel said this about "" fargo "" only a few months into '96 , i dismissed the notion as ridiculous . 
how could you possibly know that a film is so great that nothing you could possibly see in the future could beat it ? 
but after seeing the farrelly's hilarious and surprisingly heartfelt masterwork , i now know what siskel was talking about . 
once in a ( very great ) while , a film comes along that is so daring , so brilliant and simply so enjoyable that at the end , you just want to stand up and cheer . 
and you know , at that instant , that you have just experienced something very special . 
now for the shocker ; "" mary "" is the grossest and most disgusting film i have ever viewed ( "" pink flamingos "" obviously notwithstanding ) . 
the movie is so rude and , i guess , inappropriate in nature that i had a hard time sitting in a theater watching it with my parents ( luckily i had seen it before them , so i could warn the about what they were in for ) . 
forget "" blazing saddles "" , "" animal house "" and even the former king of gross-out comedy , "" monty python's meaning of life "" ; they were all only preludes to the farrelly's assault on the senses . 
in fact , this may even be the funniest film i've ever had the pleasure of seeing ( the only real contender is "" monty python and the holy grail "" ) , and most certainly the most hilarious to come out all decade . 
but as funny as it is , something also has to be said about the overall sweetness of "" mary "" ; it has a huge heart . 
you see , the farrelly's are truly gifted filmmakers . 
they don't just present you with a string of dick and fart jokes ( although there are plenty to go around ) . 
they also , very wisely , add an unbelievable amount of charisma to the main characters and actually have them develop as the story progresses . 
it's funny , though . 
if you just look at an outline of the story , it seems kind of contrived and predictable . 
but believe me , it is anything but . 
ben stiller plays ted , a very shy and clumsy teenage geek who lusts after the school babe , mary ( cameron diaz ) . 
after he sticks up for her retarded brother , warren ( w . 
early brown - the cameraman , believe it or not , from "" scream "" ) , his dreams come true when she invites him to the prom . 
in one of the film's funniest scenes , something goes wrong ( i won't ruin it for those who know nothing about the film ) and ted is unable to face mary ever again . 
jump to the present . 
after years of self-loathing , ted finally hires private detective pat healy ( a suitably slimy matt dillon ) to track her down so he can have one last chance at winning the woman he has loved since high school . 
healy finds that mary is still a full-blown hottie and decides to try and keep her for himself . 
admittingly , the basic story line leaves a little to be desired . 
after all , with a not-really-all-that-funny premise , how can you sustain laughter for nearly two hours ? 
somehow , the farrelly's pull it off . 
the performances here are also right on target . 
as ted , stiller adds just the right amount of clumsy charm to make his character not irritating , as he would normally be , but very lovable . 
and cameron diaz is perfect in her role for obvious reasons , but the actor who really grabs your attention is w . earl brown as mary's brother . 
no other actor has even come close to playing a mentally retarded man with as much natural ease as brown displays here . 
i know he won't be nominated , but this is the guy who should not be counted out when it comes time to hand out the oscar nods in february . 
as good as the actors are , though , it's the directors' movie all the way . 
i guarantee that on almost every other top ten list at the end of the year , you will see the number one space occupied by steven spielberg's wwii epic "" saving private ryan "" . 
and yes , that is a great film worthy of the recognition it has been getting . 
but which is harder ; making a great war film or having your audience laugh so hard that they can't breath for minutes at a time ? 
i'll let you decide that one for yourself , but this critic is sticking to his guns . 
there is just something about "" mary "" . 
"
"1"," "" i'd rather die today and go to heaven than live to be a hundred and go to hell , "" earnestly proclaims the pentecostal preacher . 
with that line coming from a fundamentalist christian minister , hollywood has taught us how we should fill in the rest of the story . 
he will be turn out to be a scoundrel who has less actual belief in god than the average american , and all of his preaching will turn out to be a cynical ruse to extort money from his naive congregation . 
from elmer gantry on , we have learned what to expect when the movies go to church . 
well , think again , for the apostle , which robert duvall has wanted to make for over a decade , does not take the usual tack of smearing the minister , and by implication all , the rest of organized religion . 
instead it gives us a highly devout man , who certainly has his foibles , but with an absolute dedication to his ministry and his god . 
and arguably just as surprising , the good-spirited film is no comedy , even if it does have humorous moments . 
instead of levity the picture takes a touchingly serious approach as it introduces us to a world not normally seen in motion pictures . 
when in the privacy of his attic , robert duvall , as texas preacher euliss "" sonny "" dewey , argues sternly with his lord , the scene shares a kinship with emily watson's character crying out for her god in breaking the waves's most powerful scene . 
the body of the story starts with sonny's coming upon an horrific auto accident , which is another part of life generally ignored by modern screenwriters . 
with his well worn bible in hand , sonny leaps from his car so that he can go pray over and with the accident's dying victims . 
the scowling police officer orders him to go away , and , after he has tried to work his miracles , sonny leaves with a smile in the confidence that he has done the lord's work . 
robert duvall not only gives a moving and realistic performance surely destined to receive an academy award nomination but is also the film's director , writer , executive producer , and chief financier . 
rarely has a movie been such a labor of love . 
with a white suit , peach-colored shirt and tie , and dark sunglasses , sonny looks as much like a rock star as a preacher . 
duvall has every movement down pat . 
even when he is walking down the street , the ever strutting sonny cannot contain his energy . 
he dances and claps all the way . 
sonny's churches having more black members than white means that he shares his preaching duties with many deep-voiced black orators , but his rhetoric is always competitive . 
 "" i may be on the devil's hit-list , but i'm on god's mailing list , "" he shouts to the congregation in a revival tent . 
and they lap it up . 
people jump up , scream , "" praise the lord ! "" 
and mean it . 
the intensity of their shared religious experience is palpable . 
but sonny is no saint . 
it turns out that he has a wandering eye , which angers his wife jessie , played in a remarkably controlled performance by farrah fawcett . 
jessie gets her revenge by taking up with the church's youth minister and conniving to gain control over sonny's church , leaving him unemployed . 
sonny , letting his temper get the best of him , does something foolish , which causes him to have to leave town and two beloved kids forever . 
the bulk of the film occurs in a small , predominately black church in louisiana , which he builds up from a derelict building with no congregation into a remodeled church ( "" one way road to heaven : holiness temple "" ) with an enthusiastic flock . 
in this part he rebaptizes himself as the apostle e . f . the apostle is a hard worker willing to take on any odd job necessary to obtain the funds for his church . 
he asks his members to tithe , but he gives all of his money . 
and his good deeds extend to secret donations of food for the local poor folks . 
a man who can't stand to be still , he tells one of his friends , "" i quit school because i didn't like recess . "" 
in his new town he meets toosie ( miranda richardson ) , who , like him , has a family that she hasn't seen in a while . 
his romance with the separated woman , like the rest of the film , doesn't follow the standard patterns we have grown to expect from our movies . 
billy bob thornton shows up one day playing a local racist and general troublemaker . 
his confrontation with the apostle is yet another of show's many surprising scenes , again breaking many rules and conceptions about what approach deeply religious people might take . 
although it probably couldn't have ended any other way , the movie does wrap things up nicely . 
and don't miss the sweet epilogue during the film's closing credits . 
a tour de force acting performance by duvall and a surprising and unrelentingly dedicated script makes for an outstanding and moving film . 
the apostle runs a little too long at 2 : 12 . 
it is rated pg-13 for mild profanity and brief violence and would be fine for kids eleven and up . 
"
"1","one of the best movies i've ever seen . 
i'd heard extremely good things about this movie , and though the previews didn't really intrigue that much , it was a movie i'd been anticipating for a few months now . 
for some reason i'm not sure of - this movie was not that big a sucess over in the u . s . it was a definite hit with the critics , but didn't exactly set any box office records . 
after viewing this incredibly well directed , written and acted movie , i can't help but wonder - why ? 
the strength of this film is it's gritty realism . 
the main characters are all human with individual flaws , no stereo-type hollywood heroes . 
you may not agree with many of their actions in the movie or their approach to life , but that is what makes it so real . 
i had expected this movie to be more of a drama than a thriller , but i was mistaken . 
even the interrogation scenes moved at such a pace so that it felt just as thrilling as any car chase . 
and the ending . . . . . . whoa . 
i've never seen a movie in my life where everyone in it acts brilliantly . 
the three male leads - guy pearce , kevin spacey and russell crowe are all just terrific . 
the 'best actor' oscar talk surrounding this film should have netted one of them a statue , but there is one problem there . 
how could they have chosen between these three actors ? 
there is no way i could look at this film and say one of them was better than the other two . 
it's impossible . 
kim bassinger's performance is also a revelation . 
i'd never been a big fan of hers before and always thought she was , well . . . what's the word - a twinky ? 
that impression has changed , as she complemented crowe and pearce perfectly . 
the depth to the story and characters is truly astounding . 
no cardboard characters here . 
the plot is full of twists and turns and some very clever sequences . 
pearce's interogation of three seperate suspects is nothing short of brilliant . 
i really can't fault this movie at all . 
i was so glad to see fellow australian's pearce and crowe star in such a breathtaking movie . 
i had been very familiar with russell crowe beforehand from his many australian films , but had not seen much of guy pearce . 
i intend to change this next time i visit the video store : ) 
"
"1","this reviewer is ignorant of what hands were responsible for delivering the original version of the abyss in 1989 . 
whether it was the meddling of studio executives , or the work of writer/director james cameron himself , the original cut of this underwater sci-fi thriller was entertaining enough but also quite seriously flawed . 
the main problem was fairly simple : the film's climax was unworthy of its build-up . 
someone at 20th century fox - and no doubt cameron himself - must have agreed , because in 1993 came the theatrical release of the abyss : special edition . 
now available on video , it seems timely to re-evaluate what , in its newly revamped state , is now a near-masterpiece despite its borrowings from films like 2010 : odyssey two , alien and close encounters of third kind . 
the plot is thus . 
we meet the crew of an experimental underwater mobile oil rig designed by the hard-nosed lindsay ( mastrantonio ) and captained by her soon-to-be-divorced husband bud ( ed harris ) . 
the rig and its crew are diverted from their normal duties when the navy seeks their help in investigating the mysterious sinking of a u . s . nuclear submarine . 
requiring a dive part-way down a three mile deep trench , three navy divers arrive to command the operation , led by the edgy lieutenant coffey ( biehn ) . 
but a series of strange sightings soon convinces at least one member of the civilian crew that whoever or whatever they're dealing with , as she memorably puts it , "" aren't speaking russian "" . 
meanwhile on the surface a hurricane is brewing and , even worse , a series of incidents around cuba involving russians ships and an increasingly nervous u . s . navy sets off an international crisis of possible catastrophic proportions . 
this crisis is mirrored in the confines of the now isolated underwater rig , with the trigger-happy and increasingly paranoid lieutenant coffey at odds with the crew about how do deal with the mysterious goings-on around them . 
the human drama is often riveting , with the principal players performing with an intensity that recalls the fine ensemble acting in cameron's aliens . 
the stunts , hardware , special effects and underwater cinematography are all outstanding . 
and so they should be : cameron's technical credentials are well established . 
but what ultimately makes the film so gripping is three intersecting plot strands : 1 ) the tension between old sparring partners lindsay and ex-hubby bud ; 2 ) the war of wills between the civilian crew and the navy divers as a series of escalating crisis' befall them ; and 3 ) the slowly unfolding revelation of what lies at the bottom of the three mile deep abyss . 
the abyss : special edition is an improvement on the original film in two major respects . 
one is that it further fleshes out the relationship between bud and lindsay , a relationship at times touching , at others incredibly intense and volatile . 
the second improvement is the restoration of some absolutely crucial scenes towards the film's end , when the aliens demonstrate their control over water with a terrifying and extraordinary display of power to a world on the brink of nuclear war . 
with the inclusion of these startling scenes , the story's climax is now given real weight . 
why on earth were they left out of the original ? 
this reviewer finds it utterly incomprehensible . 
so then , we have 25 minutes of additional footage that's turned a decent underwater thriller into something quite magnificent . 
i say "" quite "" because some flaws do remain . 
the most grating is several moments of corny hollywood schmaltz - some new , some old - that may well have you reaching for the barf bag . 
nonetheless , the abyss : special edition now stands this somewhat maligned film among james cameron's greatest achievements , alongside aliens and terminator 2 . see it and be moved , gripped and spellbound . 
"
"1","i have a soft spot in my heart for pure , amoral sleaze . 
i liked showgirls ( there , i said it ) . 
i typically enjoy myself when sitting through that eszterhaz , sex-filled cinematic tabloid-ish trash . 
wild things is the best sleazy film i've ever seen . 
it's filled with great performances , graphic sex , three-way sex , rape charges , double-crosses , plot twists , genitalia of all genders , graphic violence , death , witty humor , and , best of all , denise richards . 
criticizing this film for being disgusting , raucous , and just plain wrong is as fundamentally pointless as criticizing citizen kane for being disturbing , or titanic for being lofty and epic . 
wild things is a film that succeeds in its endeavors , but i don't just admire it for this--i admire it for being so entertaining and such a fun time at the movies . 
i must admit up-front , however , that i am directly in the center of the age group to which this film has been engineered to appeal . 
i imagine that this shows . 
it's hard to give a plot summary without giving away pieces that shouldn't be known . 
i thought i had the whole thing worked out from the trailer , but i was wrong ; there are a lot of turns here . 
i'll just say that the film takes place in blue bay , a rich little town in florida . 
in blue bay lives sam lombardo ( matt dillon ) , a teacher who is accused of rape by two of his students , kelly van ryan ( denise richards ) , and suzie toller ( neve campbell ) . 
kelly's mother , sandra ( theresa russell ) , immediately presses charges . 
all of this happens fairly early in the film . 
and right up until this point , i had the whole film predicted . 
i was wrong , though , and every time i was proven wrong , i was shocked . 
wild things isn't even remotely plausible , but it is so fun to see where the story takes us that the implausibility of every scene is meaningless , and often invited , just for kicks . 
i remember first seeing the preview for wild things before the replacement killers . 
i'd give the preview four stars . 
it made me want to see the movie so much that i've been waiting for it anxiously ever since . 
over the past few weeks though , i started to realize that there was no way the film could live up to the preview ( see independence day ) ; thankfully , i was proven wrong . 
the preview for this film is one that needs to be studied by marketing analysts of every distribution company : not only does it make us want to see the film , but it doesn't give away any of the secrets . 
but i'm not here to talk about the preview . 
i'm here to talk about denise richards . 
now , i found her mildly interesting in starship troopers , but in wild things she appeals to such a base instinct that every scene she's in demands attention in a way that almost no other performer can . 
of course , this might have something to do with her oceanic eyes . . . and 
flawless body . . . but 
i thought she did a great job acting , too ( stop laughing ) . 
no , richards is truly a find--she is talented , and always convincing in this film . 
this mixed in with her insane physical appeal makes her a vital asset to any film she may grace in the future . 
the other actors are good , too . 
dillon is as suave as ever ( it's nice to see him bouncing back from albino alligator and in & out ) . 
bacon does a good job acting all determined and stuff as a sex crimes officer . 
neve campbell gives the most layered performance of all of them , though i won't pretend that any of these characters are deep and complex . 
for a plot like this to work , all of these people have to be insane and basically contrived . 
that's okay , because director john mcnaughton knows that he's making a self-consciously wicked film . 
each scene--even the three-way sex scene--is observed with hilarity by mcnaughton , and the result is a sleaze-fest that's too smart to resist . 
there isn't an inconsistent moment in wild things : every bit of it is alluring garbage , so trashy it's funny , and so entertaining it's painful . 
i loved it . 
"
"1","tarzan chad'z = good ) 1999 , g , 90 minutes [1 hour , 30 minutes] [animated - adventure/drama] starring the voices of : tony goldwyn ( tarzan ) , minnie driver ( jane porter ) , lance henriksen ( kerchak ) , brian blessed ( clayton ) ; written by tab murphy , bob tzudiker , noni white ; produced by bonnie arnold ; directed by chris buck , kevin lima ; based on the story `tarzan of the apes' and characters created by edgar rice burroughs . 
seen july 4 , 1999 at 7 : 15 p . m . at crossgates cinemas 18 ( guilderland , ny ) , theater #9 , by myself for free using my hoyts season pass . 
[theater rating : * * * 1/2 : very good sound , picture and seats] 
title : `tarzan' beautiful to look at , easy to follow . 
review : disney continues its trend of producing animated summer blockbuster movies meant mostly for children but with enough wit and charm for adults to be interested and at least entertained by the story . 
the basic premise is the same as every other `tarzan' story : a boy is raised in the african jungle by gorillas and becomes one himself never really understanding ( or even noticing ) that he's human and is a lot different from the animals he befriends . 
the first third of the film shows how tarzan comes to be adopted by kala ( voiced by glen close ) , a female gorilla who lost her own child in a classic case of darwanism . 
her mate , kerchak ( henriksen ) , is a mean , conservative leader of the pack of gorillas who make up tarzan's extended family . 
he refuses to acknowledge tarzan ( voiced by alex d . linz during the childhood scenes ) as a son and often has to hold himself back from killing tarzan after he continually does dangerous , wild things that are the result of his own childish instincts . 
i have a feeling children will quickly be able to identify with tarzan since all he really is is just a kid who wants to have fun and it's funny how the adults fail to comprehend this . 
later , as the story transitions from tarzan as a child to a full-grown man ( voiced by goldwyn ) , he is encounter by a party of three humans from england : jane porter ( driver ) , a beautiful woman who is something of a zoologist and an artist , her father prof . archimedes q . porter ( voiced by nigel hawthorne ) who is also a scientist ; and their slick and cunning , yet barbaric safari bodyguard clayton ( blessed ) . 
it's easy to tell where the story is going at all times but the screenplay doesn't seem like it was written hastily nor dumbed down for children's enjoyment . 
sure there's a lot of cliche stuff here , like clayton's smugness and diabolical manipulation of tarzan and jane ; the goofy supporting characters ( voiced by rosie o'donnell [in full brooklyn accent ! ] and wayne knight - `hello newman ! ' ) . 
there's also a lot of fun action such as tarzan's swinging through the jungle on vines and sliding down and around tree branches and trunks . 
it's just like skateboarding really fast and doing all sorts of tricks ( those mcdonald's commercials really prove this point ) . 
ultimately , you get exactly out of `tarzan' what you expect . . . 
and i mean that as a compliment , so have high expectations . 
pros : animation and sound are a feast for the senses , story is lighthearted , breezy and not dumbed-down , no stupid sing-along songs to get stuck in your head . 
cons : surprisingly violent , should have been rated pg . 
young children may not understand some of the more adult themes ( parents , be ready to have some heavy questions thrown your way ) . 
running time is a bit short . 
would you recommend this to friends ? 
not to my friends , but to the movie-going public i would . 
score : or with no 0 rating ) . 
"
"1","i've always been told that there are two things in life that are unavoidable - death and taxes . 
oddly , i've never given much thought to either of the two . 
maybe if i did , at least i'd stop getting collection notices from uncle sam . 
yes , let me make a resolution to devote myself to better record keeping , hold on to all my receipts , and to do what it takes to have the satisfaction that my returns are mistake-free and will keep me from incurring penalties . 
it seems that the issue of death may not be so different , at least envisioned here in this film . 
as this tender love story goes , if you do good things and have a clear conscience when you die , you ascend to a place of great peace and beauty . 
the dreams , wishes , and fantasies that you had when you were alive come true . 
for those who die with a burdened soul , however , they wind up in that other place . 
chris and annie ( a winsome robin williams and a radiant annabella sciorra ) seem like the perfect couple that deserve all that heaven has to offer . 
their love for each other is strong and their bond is undeniable . 
but tragic events eventually tear apart the fabric of annie's happiness . 
and when chris dies after a terrible car accident , she commits suicide - a tortured soul who blames herself . 
despair is perhaps the greatest sin , and she will wallow in her guilt throughout eternity . 
chris , on the other hand , has made it to heaven , and upon learning of annie's fate , he journeys to hell to find her and to try to free her from her nightmare . 
this film brims with imagination , containing a lush imagery that shows the arcadia that is heaven and the bitterness and frightfulness that is hell . 
it seems that heaven and hell could very well be a product of our fantasies or nightmares . 
it's shape and look is as infinite as our imagination . 
as chris explores his new fantastic world and discovers things both amazing and wondrous , he also begins to learn more about himself . 
certain questions baffle him at first . 
why does his home in heaven ooze with paint ? 
what is the significance of the asian stewardess ? 
why does he have an all-too-willing guide ( cuba gooding , jr . ) to help him find annie ? 
but as he slowly begins to realize the answers , it makes him stronger and gives him a greater chance to save annie . 
 "" dreams "" is both visually and tellingly beautiful . 
alas , i have one regret . 
the movie did well to gather more and more emotional speed , but the denouement was curiously unsatisfying . 
it seemed as if it was racing to some kind of great finish , but its intensity seemed to wane in its final moments . 
however , your eyes will still well up with tears and you'll find lots to savor . 
the storytelling is purposeful and well constructed . 
the journey is imaginative . 
and i was surprised by how much i enjoyed this film . 
"
"1","it was a crazy time in france , what with the french revolution right around the corner . 
king louis xv would soon die , and his son would become king louis xvi . 
such is the setting for beaumarchais : the scoundrel about the controversial playwright , spy and playboy pierre-augustin caron de beaumarchais . 
beaumarchais was the author of the plays , "" the barber of seville "" and "" the marriage of figaro . "" 
today people think of them as quaint and harmless operas , but , back in 1773 when the movie takes place , they were so scandalous that beaumarchais was thrown into prison more than once . 
the movie beaumarchais : the scoundrel takes a light-hearted approach to its subject , resulting in an inviting motion picture . 
one of france's most expensive productions ever , the movie was a huge hit when it opened there last year . 
now in theatrical release in the united states , it eschews the seriousness of most art house films with a romping good story . 
the secret of the film's success , other than the lavishness of sylvie de segonzac's costumes , has to be the performance by fabrice luchini as beaumarchais . 
with his glistening eyes and his infectious smile , he mesmerizes the camera and the audience . 
his wry little lips seem always to hint at some unspoken deviousness he is planning . 
in a land where court intrigue determines one's destiny , constant scheming was a way of life for the aristocracy . 
as our story starts , we learn that beaumarchais has bought himself a judgeship . 
into his court comes a member of the nobility demanding an immediate sword fight . 
beaumarchais , who has been having an affair with the man's wife , makes him wait until the current case on the docket is decided . 
that over with , the fight is on . 
with luchini's charisma , it is hard to root for anyone other than him . 
audiences may remember him from the marvelous colonel chabert , in which he played the attorney . 
although he does not have half of the good looks of his assistant gudin , played by manuel blanc , he dazzles the women and the viewers with his grace and style . 
michael epp's warm and intimate cinematography provides a nice accompaniment to jean-marc kerdelhue's lush but realistic looking sets . 
jean-claude petit's music , especially the hauntingly lovely flute solos , make for an enchanting time at the movies . 
director jean-claude brisville , who wrote the script along with edouard molinaro , fleshed out a play by sacha guitry which , according to the press notes , was just a series of historic vignettes . 
the disorganization of the play still comes through at some points in the movie , but the actors smooth it over with their good-hearted style . 
typical of the scenes that come out of nowhere is the one in which a rotund benjamin franklin appears in a large pot of hot water , taking his bath . 
one episode has beaumarchais working with a renegade spy who may or may not be a man . 
another has beaumarchais using his personal fortune to aid the american revolution . 
all of this may sound like a dull historical drama , but it is anything but . 
the story plays more like theater of the absurd than a movie based on historical facts . 
the radiantly lovely sandrine kiberlain plays marie-therese , the real love of beaumarchais's life . 
but he is so likable that members of the audience may want to compete with her for him . 
still , with his beguiling smile , one can never quite be sure if you should trust him . 
the movie , on the other hand , can be trusted to deliver a high old time . 
beaumarchais : the scoundrel runs 1 : 41 . 
it is in french with english subtitles . 
the film is not rated but would be an r for some nudity and sex , and should be fine for most teenagers . 
"
"1","what surprises me most about the long-awaited batman is that the movie centers not on the caped crusader but on the joker . 
the dark knight actually has less screen time than his homicidal arch nemesis ! 
i can hear batfans everywhere protesting : "" first they had the nerve to cast michael keaton as batman , and now they think they can get away with making him second banana to the joker ! ! "" 
and , indeed , this situation would have been altogether inappropriate and intolerable were it not for the fact that someone at warner brothers had the savvy to cast jack nicholson in the role he was born to play . 
nicholson deserves the top billing he is receiving in the posters and opening credits since his astounding , oscar-worthy performance as the joker is the highlight of batman . 
nicholson shows no inhibition or shame as he pulls out all the stops to create a joker that makes cesar romero look like bozo the clown ( romero played the joker in the '60s tv series ) . 
on one hand , nicholson's joker is extremely funny . 
his murderous escapades and manic outbursts ( which include defacing paintings in an art museum and invading the television airwaves with hilarious pirate broadcasts ) bring humor and laughter into an otherwise dark film . 
but on the other hand , his outwardly jovial disposition is only a mask for his intense contempt for all of mankind . 
the joker's cruelty and demented , diabolical nature are truly frightening and sinister . 
this guy is off his rocker , and he not only knows it , he flaunts it ! 
but enough about nicholson as the joker : i'm sure most people are wondering about michael keaton as batman . 
like many , i was outraged when warner brothers announced that keaton had been cast as the caped crusader . 
but batfans need not worry because holy unconventional casting ! 
keaton delivers . 
he is convincing as the tormented millionaire , bruce wayne , and beneath his hard , black body armor , he is mysterious and formidable as the batman . 
even though the screenplay only halfheartedly attempts to develop the character , keaton manages to give hints of the inner turmoil and emotional rage that drive wayne to don his bat gear and battle the low life scum of gotham city . 
visually , batman is a knockout nothing short of a triumph for director tim burton and his production team . 
the movie successfully captures the film noir look and bleak , gloomy atmosphere of such batman comic books as "" the dark knight returns "" and "" the killing joke . "" 
burton's film is a feast for the eyes ; the $35 million budget is definitely on the screen . 
the sets , costumes , and make-up are stunning and worthy of oscar nominations . 
nicholson isn't joking when he boasts , "" wait 'till they get a load of me ! "" 
his grimacing smile , green hair , and purple suits over orange shirts are colorful and outrageous . 
keaton's wardrobe is equally appropriate . 
batman's cape , mask , and body armor make him look threatening , frightening , and invincible bringing to mind not adam west's campy costume in the tv series but peter weir's outfit in robocop . 
production designer anton furst's sets are a wonder . 
gotham city is dark and foreboding , almost as if it were an expressionist vision of new york . 
the batcave is cold , bare , and desolate . 
the world that burton and furst have created in batman is a melancholy nightmare of violence and corruption . 
the movie's gritty bladerunner/robocop look is a joy to behold . 
the plot , on the other hand , is not as rousing . 
the screenplay is not up to snuff in comparison to the stylized sets and superb acting . 
it takes forever for what little story there is to finally kick into gear . 
batman tries to walk a thin line between action and character psychology , but it fails to give us enough of either one . 
as i mentioned earlier , the screenplay gives us plenty of the joker , but it never fully establishes batman's psychological motives and underpinnings . 
in terms of action , batman is not as thrilling as you might expect . 
burton seems more concerned with the visual and dramatic elements of the story . 
more than anything , batman is a mood film . 
while batman may not completely absorb and excite you , it will likely impress you with its success at bringing to life the style and spirit of the batman comic books . 
thanks to its distinctive look , the movie like a good comic book transports us to another world . 
"
"1","casting "" doogie howser "" star neil patrick harris as mind-reading military intelligence is only one of the guilty pleasures of "" starship troopers , "" a hugely entertaining , mega-budgeted sci-fi yarn directed by paul verhoeven , who's making quite a recovery from his 1995 g-string epic "" showgirls . "" 
sure , "" starship troopers "" qualifies as cinematic junk food , but that's forgivable when the junk food is this tasty . 
everyone needs a high-calorie change-of-pace from fall's onslaught of costume dramas and other assorted oscar bait , and "" troopers "" does the job admirably despite its flaws . 
for its first hour , "" starship troopers "" plays like a cheeky futuristic hybrid of "" saved by the bell "" and "" g . i . 
jane . "" 
in the distant years ahead , high school grad johnny rico ( casper van dien ) signs up for federal service along with his girlfriend carmen ( denise richards ) ; he gets accepted into the mobile infantry but she wants to travel to the fleet academy to become a starship pilot , so the couple is broken up . 
but there's temptation awaiting both of them -- johnny's is in the form of an old friend ( dina meyer ) also in the infantry and still harboring a secret crush , while carmen attracts the eye of her flirtatious instructor ( patrick muldoon ) . 
personal rivalry and sexual jealousy carry over into the final 65 minutes , when an impending alien menace begins making good on its threatening presence and obliterates part of south america , killing johnny's parents and destroying his home . 
our weakening , lovesick protagonist is given new reasons to stick around the mobile infantry , and is dispatched with a group of fellow fighters to the aliens' home planet , where he will head up a ground assault to end the threat for good . 
but the enemy is far smarter , more diabolical and numerous than the good guys give them credit for , and after an initial walloping , they must re-examine their strategy . 
the exposition -- played like a futuristic soap opera -- is silly , but aware of its own ridiculousness enough to merit more smiles than groans . 
once we get past the campy character introductions and the numerous ( but never boring ) training sessions , "" starship troopers "" really kicks into high gear . 
its last half is all gruesomely violent action -- a fury of severed limbs , decapitations , disembowelments , brain removal , explosions and other jolt-inducers that are really going to please the 13- and 14-year-old boys lucky enough to dodge getting carded or caught on their way into this deservedly r-rated show . 
the creature design and special effects are amazing as expected , and their interaction with the human actors are a realistic , imaginative high point . 
it's nice to see intergalactic beasties that aren't too derivative of the titular menace from "" alien . "" 
these monsters are appropriately terrifying sights , especially the arachnids , a spider-scorpion-crab combo that's all sharp talons and even sharper legs . 
they attack in packs of hundreds , and it's a funny , scary sight to see these bugs take repeated hits and still crawl , jerk and struggle towards their intended victims in a determined , gooey mess . 
it matters not that they actually have a laughable master plan in mind ( ask yourself if a species like this seems capable of carrying out such a plot ) ; these sequences of insect warfare are numerous , bloody and immensely satisfying . 
the occasional dramatic moments -- one cast member's death , the final resolution to johnny's love triangle -- are botched , a testament to how "" starship troopers "" fails to create any strong , outstanding characters . 
these bland ken-and-barbie archetypes serve the story adequately enough to keep any distractions at arm's length , but restrain the film from achieving a higher ground a la "" star wars , "" where even the slightest aliens had definite personality . 
the acting is decent ( but never spectacular ) ; most of the performers hail from aaron spelling territory -- smallish roles on "" beverly hills 90210 "" and/or "" melrose place "" -- and it occasionally shows . 
van dien , for example , is limited but perfectly likeable . 
in smaller parts are the afore-mentioned neil patrick harris as johnny's best friend and jake busey ( gary's son ) as johnny's sidekick ; the latter excels at playing creeps ( see "" the frighteners "" or "" contact "" ) but seems off-kilter as a second banana . 
 "" starship troopers "" is based on the novel by robert heinlein , a sci-fi writer who hasn't exactly seen any recent adaptation justice done to any of his books what with 1994's howler "" the puppet masters . "" 
but the overall familiarity to the "" alien "" trilogy -- and the promise of great gobs of gore -- could act as a crowd-drawer . 
its own possible influence , however , might well work against it when the franchise continuation "" alien : resurrection "" opens in a few weeks . 
we will know then which film to crown as the best summer movie of the fall . 
"
"1","historical epic as a genre was almost banished from hollywood in early 1990s . 
for many critics , scholars and , most importantly , film producers , it was a thing of the past - something that could have attracted crowds only in the era of black-and-white television and non-cgi special effects . 
but in 1995 , same as in the case of dances with wolves five years ago , there came the man who decided to use of all his energy and talents of actor , producer and director in order to revitalise that particular genre . 
and , same as in the case of dances with wolves , he was awarded for his effort with "" oscars "" . 
the name of the film was braveheart , and the name of its director and main actor was mel gibson . 
the plot chronicles the life of scottish warlord and folk hero william wallace ( 1272 - 1305 ) . 
in his time , english king edward i "" longshanks "" ( played by patrick mcgoohan ) has almost completely subdued entire british isles , including scotland , whose proud inhabitants are now subjected by "" ius primae noctis "" and various other forms of humiliation and oppression by english knights . 
although english had killed his father many years ago , young scottish commoner william wallace ( played by mel gibson ) doesn't care about politics and wants only to have peaceful life with his new bride murron ( played by catherine maccormack ) . 
murron's death changes that and wallace takes arms and , together with small but dedicated band of followers , begins guerrilla campaign that would systematically destroy almost every english garrison in the country . 
through time , more and more people join his ranks and in 1298 wallace's rag-tag army scores surprising victory against english knights in the battle of stirling bridge . 
but the newly won freedom is endangered by the internal squabbles between scots themselves , especially nobles under pretender robert the bruce ( played by angus macfadyen ) , who wouldn't like to have a simple commoner as a national leader . 
braveheart was only the second film in the directorial career by mel gibson , so it wouldn't be fair to compare it to the better known genre classics directed by david lean or anthony mann . 
however , even when we apply such criteria braveheart is more than decent historical epic that takes new and refreshing approach to the genre . 
the most noticeable element of this approach is naturalism . 
while older hollywood films set in medieval europe used to give fairytale-like vision of picturesque castles , splendid costumes and knights in shining armour , gibson shows us the extremely unpleasant world of poverty and feudal injustice where might made right and life was hard , short and brutish . 
this general unpleasantness is especially underlined in the scenes of battle , where hand-to-hand combat is naturalistically displayed in all its gory details , never seen since verhoeven's ultra-naturalistic flesh & blood . 
compared with this naturalistic approach , most of old hollywood epics look like stage plays . 
braveheart also employs humour at the right places , not only to make bloody realities of medieval british isles more bearable to sensitive audiences , but also to underline its down-to-earth atmosphere , so different from previous historical epics . 
what makes braveheart "" larger than life "" is his protagonist . 
mel gibson obviously invested plenty of his energy and talent in bringing the mythical figure of william wallace and , as a result , character of 15th century poems is transformed into superhuman being that resembles late 20th century comic book hero . 
wallace is more than superior to his enemies , both physically and mentally , yet he is able to show his sensitive , more vulnerable side . 
naturally , when the character is based on epic poems , most of historical accuracy is going down the drain ( which was the case with almost every historical epic from hollywood in 1990s ) . 
however , even those who don't particularly care about history or are willing to give poetic license to scriptwriter randall wallace might think that he went over the top in idolising wallace , especially in the second part of film when scottish superhero manages to seduce princess isabel ( played by sophie marceau ) and make her a child . 
because of that the disbelief is hardly suspended , and final scenes aren't as effective as they should be . 
mel gibson as an actor is truly wonderful , and he is also helped by small army of very good british and irish actors . 
most memorable of them all is patrick mcgoohan , whose cold , calculated and evil medieval monarch is one of the most effective villains seen in contemporary cinema . 
brendan gleeson ( who would later become famous for his role in boorman's general ) is also very good as wallace's trusted companion , as well as ian bannen is effective as leprosy-stricken king john balliol . 
david o'harra is very entertaining as wallace's irish ally , and angus macfadyen brings a lot of anxiety into his conscience-stricken character of robert the bruce . 
women in this film have rather thankless roles , especially marceau as one-dimensional french princess . 
catherine mccormack as wallace's wife was more interesting , but she was eliminated from the picture early on . 
from the technical point of view , the film is also very good . 
photography by john toll brings a lot of scottish natural beauty to the screen . 
on the other hand , the musical score by james horner employs too much of modern-day instruments for period piece set in medieval times . 
although mostly welcomed by critics and audiences alike , braveheart was often criticised for homophobia and other forms of extreme conservatism . 
the main reason for that was the fact that gibson , among many historical facts , chose to be faithful only to those related to sexual orientation of "" longshank "" 's son prince edward ( played by peter hanly ) . 
he is not only presented as a villain , but also as one of the less competent in villain's camp - and portraying of homosexuals as villains or inferior to heterosexuals is almost unforgivable sin in "" politically correct "" hollywood . 
to make things even more obvious , good guys in this film are the total opposite of effeminate and incompetent edward - rugged macho men of mountains who are more practical and efficient because they tend to employ conservatives' common sense instead of fashionable theories of ivory tower liberals . 
however , although the message of this film might look right-wing , it owes more to leftist ideology of various national liberation movements in 20th century . 
according to that ideology , oppressed classes ( workers , peasants ) are better suited to fight for national freedom because their members has less to lose in that struggle and , as such , they are more radical , less willing to make compromises and more efficient ; on the other hand , privileged classes ( aristocracy , bourgeoisie ) are more likely to betray the cause of freedom and be in cahoots with foreign oppressors in order to keep their privileges . 
this marxist worldview is presented in braveheart without any subtlety . 
in the end , whether the audience is patient enough to discover hidden meanings or simply wants to enjoy entertaining historical epic , braveheart is more than adequate choice for all fans of this recently resurrected genre . 
"
"1","if you had a chance to create a genetically perfect child , would you do it ? 
 "" gattaca "" is a film which presents a future where society has answered "" yes "" to this question , but then ponders if this was actually the right decision . 
 "" gattaca "" came out only a couple months following the first genetically engineered creature , the lovable dolly the sheep , and with this in mind , the film only becomes more frightening . 
the way the realm of genetics is heading , it may only take a couple decades until the future "" gattaca "" presents becomes true . 
contrary to the misleading trailers , "" gattaca "" is not a sci-fi thriller , in the way that there's lots of murder , hitchcockian suspense , and chase scenes . 
this is a quiet , sad film about intelligent theories . 
in fact , the film seems like it would have been written by george orwell or aldous huxley ( the latter who's novel "" brave new world "" featured genetically engineered children ) . 
it's a film that may likely become a cult hit to people who are frightened by a promise of shallow utopia , which is exactly what "" gattaca "" presents . . . and the main reason i dug it so much . 
the story revolves around the genetically insufficient vincent freeman ( ethan hawke ) , a man with high hopes but a 90% chance of heart problems , and a prospected life span of around 30 years . 
as a child , he was put down because of the threats of genetics , while his younger genetically perfect brother , anton ( loren dean ) , was promised whatever his heart desired . 
vincent yearns to be an astronaut , but when he gets a job at a giant space company , it's as a janitor ( ernest borgnine plays his boss ! ) . 
but one day , he finds out that it's probably possible that his desires can come true in the form of a business deal brought out by a black market geneticist ( or something ) , german ( "" wings "" ' tony shalhoub , who did like hundreds of cameos in films back in '97 : "" men in black , "" "" a life less ordinary "" . . . ) , who's client is a genetically perfect man , jerome morrow ( jude law ) , who has unfortunately been crippled . 
fortunately , though , there's no record of the accident , and he's willing to give someone else his life . 
since vincent looks a bit like him . . . 
after a couple alterations ( some minor , some really major ) , he has donned the life of jerome , and is doing his job . 
there , he meets a genetically imperfect woman , irene ( uma thurman , who's genetically perfect in real life anyway , hee hee ) , and the two begin a kind of relationship , albeit a very shallow one since romance is deemed by how great a man's stats are . 
however , a murder of a high-level worker at his office is killed , and one of vincent/jerome's eyelashes is found by the anal retentive investigators headed by a semi-wily inspector , hugo , ( alan arkin ) , and none other than vincent's long lost brother , anton , who hasn't seen him since they were teenagers . 
we know vincent/jerome didn't do it , but with his older picture being posted everywhere , not only vincent/jerome's in trouble , but also the real jerome , who's as much in it as he is . 
however , there isn't many big suspense set pieces , which is actually a blessing because if they were tossed in , the film would lose it's message and descend into just being a sci-fi thriller a la william gibson . 
the suspense in the film comes from the idea that vincent and jerome can easily be captured just by dropping a hair or dead skin . 
while there are several scenes which are pretty frightening , there are no big distractions from the point of the film , much to the dismay of commercial audiences . 
what is actually portrayed is the lack of life in the utopian society that is created . 
irene has no real spunk in her life , and is rather amazed by the sheer beauty of a sunrise rather than genetically perfect people . 
and the genetically flawless jerome is in actuality a bitter man , claiming that his accident was really no accident . 
what jerome has done is fool the system in giving a man who yearns for better things a chance at that , and the ending is shocking as it's a definite work of dystopian propaganda , but doesn't have the down ending of other works of this kind . 
the production design of this film is probably the best i've seen this year : it's stunning , very pleasing to the eye , but still very cold . 
since genetics has ruled out any chance of improvement , the world has cooled into a state of inhumanity , and the sets echo a sense of shallow misery . 
and the sequence of all the high-level workers doing their jobs has a kind of gilliam-esque feel to it , showing the nightmare of slipping into a routine zombie-like life . 
the ability to perfect people has left humanity cold and generally unhappy . 
the acting from everyone is great , with thurman giving a wonderfully cold performance , and hawke creating a character who has been beaten down by the system but has found a new sense of optimism by a bitter man who was willing to give it out anyway ( interesting pointless fact : uma and ethan started dating after this film , and currently she is pregnant with his child ) . 
but the best performance belongs to jude law , who steals every scene he's in , and creates a character filled with the pessimism over having such a horrible burden placed on his burden . 
i think that people are generally tempted by the fact that genetics can actually create perfection in a child , but whether or not they would actually act on this temptation is something i'm not sure of . 
 "" gattaca "" warns us not to go any farther , chiefly because we'll create a world of elitism where the elite are shallow and unhappy , and as bitter and angry as the lesser people are . 
and when i see a possible future featuring a 12-fingered piano player , well folks , that just creeps me out . 
"
"1","in one scene from "" the people vs . 
larry flynt , "" the hustler magazine publisher appears at a self-staged free speech rally . 
as graphic photos flash on a huge screen behind him , flynt strides confidently across the stage , delivering a rousing speech over what really constitutes obscenity . 
the spectacle was reminiscent of the scene in "" patton "" where the general spoke in front of a giant american flag . 
both scenes were stirring , larger than life , richly entertaining , and felt totally like contrived set pieces for big hollywood movies . 
overall , that sums up "" the people vs . 
larry flynt . "" 
the film is a wildly entertaining hoot which , despite being based on fact , feels like a big , phony hollywood movie . 
the son of a kentucky moonshiner , flynt ( woody harrelson ) ran away from home and ended up operating strip clubs in cincinnati . 
there he met althea leasure ( courtney love ) , a bisexual stripper who became his fourth wife and the love of his life . 
to bolster interest in his clubs , he started a sexually explicit newsletter that grew into hustler magazine . 
flynt , along with the magazine's rag-tag management team , headed by his brother jimmy ( played nicely by woody's real-life brother , steak & shake commercial veteran brett harrelson ) , viewed playboy magazine with contempt . 
they mocked its slick articles and airbrushed photos , striving to keep hustler focused on "" what guys really want , "" explicit photos that would make a gynecologist squirm , and extremely crude humor . 
the film's prime example of hustler's attitude is a cartoon depicting characters from the wizard of oz in an orgy , giving the audience an opportunity to giggle at flynt's "" naughtiness . "" 
director milos forman conveniently ignores the magazine's frequent attempts to derive humor from child molestation , racism , and endless scatological cartoons . 
flynt's rag labored in well-deserved obscurity until he published nude photos of jacqueline onassis , which brought the magazine international attention , big money and the attention of conservatives . 
an obscenity bust followed , the first in a long series of battles between flynt and the law . 
lawyer alan isaacman ( edward norton ) enters the scene , hired by flynt's wife . 
norton , an exceptional actor , is wonderful as the beleaguered lawyer trying to navigate the legal system while dealing with flynt's increasingly childish and bizarre behavior . 
in court , we meet the sputtering conservatives , headed by citizens for decency leader charles keating ( james cromwell . ) 
as keating blathers about flynt's immorality , the camera slowly moves in for a close-up of his name tag , inviting the audience to gloat at the notion of morality being trumpeted by keating , who was later convicted in a $2 billion s&l fraud . 
flynt's other prime foe is rev . jerry falwell , who sues over a hustler parody involving him and his mother having sex in an outhouse . 
tragedy strikes as flynt is shot by a would-be assassin , leaving him paralyzed from the waist down . 
a dark period follows , as flynt and leasure hole up in an l . a . suite , strung out on pain killers . 
flynt eventually kicks drugs , but leasure succumbs to addiction , and later , aids . 
after watch falwell on tv , describing aids as a punishment from god , flynt directs his lawyer to take the falwell case to the supreme court , leading to the film's climactic courtroom scene . 
 "" the people vs , larry flynt "" is at its weakest when moralizing on free speech and lionizing flynt . 
 "" if they'll protect a scumbag like me , then they'll protect all of you , "" declared flynt . 
he's right , of course , but the director forman cheats in portraying the opposition as little more than hypocritical buffoons . 
he also cheats in casting woody harrelson as flynt . 
harrelson is an attractive , charismatic man , and his strong performance paints flynt as a colorful folk hero . 
even a cursory look at the real flynt , who is making the talk show circuit , and plays the judge in an early courtroom scene , shows a bloated , morose and bitter man . 
an accurate portrayal of flynt would have made a more difficult film to watch , but a richer one . 
despite its flaws , "" flynt "" is a fast moving , rousing movie with some terrific acting , especially by courtney love , whose vibrant performance will likely garner an oscar nod . 
the story may be candy-coated , but it's still delicious candy . 
"
"1","we all know the fate of "" child's play , "" which is the same for almost any film these days that does marginally well financially : sequel hell . 
with the newest installment in the quasi-popular series currently out ( that would be "" bride of chucky "" - and it grossed 11 million in its opening weekend , which i think is the sign of the apocalypse number five ) , it's kinda fun to go back and see how it all began rougly ten years ago with the original , a task which is a retread for some , and for others ( namely myself ) a chance to see what all the fuss was about . 
alas , the original "" child's play "" actually isn't that bad . 
even seeing it in the tiny , claustrophobic , and mechanically-challenged theatre at my college wasn't the horribly dull experience i thought it would be , not just because of the nicely rowdy crowd ( which you almost need to watch a film like this - and if you don't believe me , try and watch this flick by yourself one day ) , but because as a whole , this isn't a bad movie . 
it's not great , but it does have two things that many horror films like this one don't have : 1 ) a rather nifty premise , and 2 ) a sense of humor , both which save this from horror hell , which is precisely where , say , "" i know what you did last summer "" has recently gone . 
the premise of "" child's play "" is that a serial killer named charles lee ray ( brad douriff ) is shot and almost killed by a chicago hard-boiled detective ( chris surrandon - see what happens to some oscar nominees ? ) , and before he dies , utters a voodoo chant that sends his soul directly into a kid's doll called chucky , a doll which has got to be the scariest-looking kid's doll i've ever seen . 
the next day , a bum who's stolen it sells it to single-mother karen barclay ( catherine hicks ) , who then gives it to her young son andy ( alex vincent ) for his birthday . 
of course chucky begins talking to the kid and trying to find a way to get out of the doll , but certain twists come up . 
like the guy he learned voodoo from reveals to him that the only way to break the curse is to take over the body of the first person he told he was inside the doll , that being andy . 
and soon enough , chucky is killing people either for revenge or for what seems like fun , and people are discovering that chucky isn't just a kiddie doll one by one . 
the idea is a neat one , ripe for lots of comic terror , and luckily it utlizes a lot of that . 
it plays with an idea stolen from a classic looney toons short that when someone knows that chucky is alive , they tell people about it , but when he tries to prove themselves , chucky does nothing , and everyone thinks they're crazy . 
it plays with this , as well as the whole child-like thought that dolls and toys come to life , and even manages to cram in a couple really frightening moments . 
even if there's an entire sequence devoted to cliches ( a woman alone in a house hears a noise , goes to investigate it , and finds nothing , but wait for the kicker a second later ! ) , 
there's also a harrowing car ride with chucky trying to knife the detective from the back seat , and then trying to attack him when the car finally crashes , leaving the viewer with at least rather visceral exprience . 
the ending is rather fun , as well , albeit a tad too drawn-out ( about four different endings , maybe five ) , and the characters are more intelligent than the average horror film line-up , making them easier to sympathize with . 
if there's one horrible thing about many horror films , it's that the protagonists are morons who you can't help but shout obscenities at , and for the most part , "" child's play "" steers away from that . 
and most of all , the chucky character is a good one , not just because he provides instant comic relief ( look ! 
that doll's moving on its own ! ) , but because he's a generally scary character . 
if there's anything really wrong with "" child's play , "" it's that it's too trite and has too less self esteem . 
at almost 90 minutes , "" child's play "" features way too less to be a real classic of horror . 
it throws itself into a simple three act set-up that renders it quick and almost forgettable if it weren't for the fact that the film deals with a psychotic doll . 
if the film had more confidence in what it was presenting , it would really push the envelope and become even more than just a short bit of horror escapism , which is precisely why this kind of film is only memorable as a cheap little horor film . . . which 
isn't necessarily a bad thing . 
as such , "" child's play "" is content to be just the short , typical horror film , but saves itself via a sense of humor and a nice quasi-campy feel that makes it much more enjoyable than the average short , typical horror film . 
"
"1","director : penelope spheeris ( decline of western civilization ii - the : metal years , dudes , & suburbia ) 
cast : mike myers ( wayne campbell ) , dana carvey ( garth algar ) , : rob lowe ( benjamin oliver ) , tia carrere ( cassandra ) 
summary : wayne and garth have a public access show called "" wayne's : world . "" 
the show is a underground hit , until benjamin : oliver comes onto the scene . 
benjamin wants to turn the : show into a big hit nationwide , possibly destroying the : essence of "" wayne's world "" in the process . 
[expectations - medium] 
long review =========== 
i must admit being a bit reluctant going into this film . 
i didn't believe that they ( mike myers and dana carvey ) could hold it up for an hour and a half , i figured that perhaps the first half-hour would be great , and the rest would be "" fluff . "" 
however , i was really surprised about how well they were able to keep the laughs going for the virtually the whole film , with the exception of the ending . 
 ( which i won't discuss for obvious reasons , but it's not * that * bad . ) 
story : the plot was quite thin , but it really wasn't that noticeable , because of the rapid-fire jokes that myers wrote in . 
alot of the jokes are very similar to hot shots ! , in being very "" parodyish . "" 
 ( okay , bad term . ) 
extremely witty throughout , although ( as in hot shots ) it got a bit repetitive in the middle . 
acting : as in many comedies , the acting isn't really * that * important . 
however , myers turns in a good performance as wayne , playing the character perfectly , ( although i still liked him better back on much music , in a more "" canadian "" type of mode . ) 
carvey is okay as garth , but he lacks the spark myers puts into wayne . 
tia carrere is mediocre as cassandra , playing it very stilted . 
lowe is fine as ben oliver , but is nothing to write home about . 
without a doubt , this movie is mike myers all the way . 
direction : spheeris is a classic "" music "" movie director , making dudes , and decline of western civilization ii -- the metal years . 
 ( she also directed the boys next door , which is different , to say the least . ) 
she is very capable , knows how direct a comedy , the correct camera movements it instill laughs , etc . one of the better jobs i can remember for a comedy . 
overall : i would suggest to anyone that likes snl's skits to go see this film in the theatres . 
however , my personal opinion , as in most comedies , is that they work just as well on video . 
you definately have to be fan of music , and all forms of media in general to enjoy this film . 
without a doubt , this is the best comedy so far this year . 
it'll make tons 'o' dough for everyone involved . 
let's just hope they make a thousand sequels . 
[sorry , i had to get the lame joke in . . . 
forgive me . ] 
"
"1","natural born killers is really a very simple story that , in essence , has already been told in bonnie & clyde with some major variations in emphasis , mood and degree . 
both films glamorize "" outlaws , "" in one case bank robbers and killers and in the other mass murderers . 
both relate the story of a couple liberated by love . 
but where bonnie & clyde was partial and subtle , natural born killers is total and blatant . 
where bonnie & clyde was social , natural born killers is psychological . 
what bonnie & clyde hinted at , natural born killers confronts and explores . 
what bonnie and clyde stole , mickey and mallory kill . 
to examine natural born killers as nothing more than a psychological odyssey of realization and exposure of the frauds surrounding them , expressed metaphorically as killing , subdues the mysterious power this film wields . 
for the most part , when mickey and mallory kill , they kill all that frustrates them unnecessarily , they kill what is trying to kill them , they kill what dissembles and cowers from life , they kill what needs to be killed . 
this mythos is at least as old as the hindu trinity . 
brahma created . 
vishnu preserved . 
and siva destroyed , but he destroyed what needed to be destroyed to make way for the useful creations of brahma . 
the following may be painfully mundane but metaphorically so accurate , i'm forced to say it for clarity's sake : a plumber must remove the old lead and copper pipes , that is , destroy the old plumbing system in order to replace it with the new one made of plastics . 
your plumber , bonnie and clyde , mickey and mallory , and siva are all productive destroyers . 
i think you could say without much of a challenge that religion is responsible for more killing and death , presently and historically , than any other phenomena . 
muslims kill christians . 
hindus kill muslims . 
christians kill pagans . 
jews kill christians , etc . you could reverse subject and predicate in each instance and still not be challenged . 
religion is an orgy of killing . 
the institution of the state only misses first place for technical reasons like it hasn't been a major player for as long or the two are frequently indistinguishable . 
 "" the state is the divine idea upon earth , "" hegel said , meaning it is absolute , all-powerful , ineffable , unassailable , infallible , authoritarian and patriarchal just like jhvh , allah , god , etc . 
well , what does all this have to do with natural born killers ? 
let me first say that religions of this nature , in the ideal , take the place of sex . 
consider the catholic church , which in its hey-dey , took religion as seriously as any other religion or institution ever . 
god takes the place of sex as manifested in all those vows of celibacy taken by the pope , cardinals , bishops , monks , etc . they forego the one , in order to come closer to the other . 
during the middle ages , when this doctrine was unmitigated and unchallenged , the most repressive regime the west has ever known in terms of scope and magnitude rose to power . 
 ( parenthetically , witness plato as well . 
in the republic , he attempted to launch the first systematic absolutist regime . 
not coincidentally he was something of a mystic himself , regularly assailing the passions . ) 
catholicism , as policy , attacks the passions as evil . 
it sees intercourse only as a means to perpetuate the species not as a way to pleasure . 
masturbation is considered a sin with the sacrament of penance necessary for absolution . 
this is religion , this is authoritarianism in its essence . 
as further evidence , the nazis had the same attitudes as the church on these matters . 
our culture , most of the cultures of the world have been steeped in this tradition for thousands of years . 
we can't help but adopt , even internalize some of these same authoritarian attitudes , leading to a destructive split between the biological and social self . 
mickey and mallory knox internalized them , too , then through spontaneous sexual awareness sparked in each one of them by the presence of the other , discovered them , and began expurgating them from themselves and from the world in the process unifying themselves . 
it is a straightforward liberation through sex . 
as some good patriarch once observed , "" you can maintain control as long as everyone keeps their clothes on . "" 
m&m had a vision of what the world would be like without contradictions . 
they saw what civilization and culture and everyday life would be like under such conditions . 
 "" the moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers , "" as mickey says . 
as a the most consistent and impassioned critic of western culture there is nietzsche applying his typical stridency to the matter : let us look each other in the face . 
we are hyberboreans--we know well enough how remote our place is . 
 "" neither by land nor by water will you find the road to the hyberboreans "" : even pindar , in his day , knew that much about us . 
beyond the north , beyond ice , beyond death--our life , our happiness . . . . 
we have discovered that happiness ; we know the way ; we got our knowledge of it from thousands of years in the labyrinth . 
who else has found it ? --the 
man of today ? -- "" i 
don't know either the way out or the way in ; i am whatever doesn't know either the way out or the way in "" --so sighs the man of today . . . . 
this is the sort of modernity that made us ill--we sickened in lazy peace , cowardly compromise , the whole virtuous dirtiness of the modern yea and nay . 
this tolerance and largeur of the heart that "" forgives "" everything because it "" understands "" everything is a sirocco to us . 
rather live amid the ice than among modern virtues and other such south-winds ! 
as far as i can tell , this is what the movie has to say . 
its alleged critique of the media is only secondary , tertiary , quaternary , subsidiary for sure . 
for example wayne gayle's first report ends with some gen x dude saying , "" if i were a mass murderer i'd be mickey and mallory , "" in his most excellent bill and ted voice . 
on one level you cd make the humdrum observation that because the media had glamorized these two psychopaths that the uncritical , impressionable gen x dumb guy confused the matter and took them for heroes . 
it seems more likely that he made an independent judgement at a subconscious level recognizing what m&m were up to and confessing that if he had the balls to be so honest with himself he'd be just like them , killing and destroying what deserves it . 
let me exemplify what i've been saying by analyzing a scene from the film , namely the scene where mallory fucks the gas station attendant , kills him , and then castigates him for giving her "" the worst fuckin' head i've ever had in my life ! ! ! "" 
now , i never claimed that mickey and mallory had a perfect relationship , because demonstrably they didn't , and this scene and the ones leading up to it show us this . 
sometimes they are the source of each others frustrations , but unwilling to kill each other , since they love each other so much and are responsible for each others liberation , they must kill in place of their lever . 
it's no secret that in this scene mallory fantasized that her victim was mickey . 
as the attendant approached he took on mickey's character in the eyes of mallory . 
she needed to kill him because of he kidnapped that girl in the hotel room and was having secret fantasies about her while making love to mallory . 
upon discovery , mallory views this as a betrayal , judges him , and commutes his sentence on someone else . 
the style of the movie is a whole 'nother matter that i won't get into very deeply but surely it is partially responsible for its power . 
let me just say that its editing has the opposite effect of a western with shots that linger forever on a salon entrance or the like suggesting the expansiveness , barreness and boredom of the frontier lifestyle . 
the rapid succession of all those 8mm , 16mm , 35mm images from various perspectives with a soundtrack sometimes in sync and sometimes out of sink instills a skittish , frenetic mood . 
also , jungian archetypes abound . 
these can't help but trigger deep psychological responses we can barely understand especially when they flash across the screen for barely a few frames . 
some of the best scenes and lines that come to mind . ( quotes are paraphrased only ) : 
mickey to mallory : "" one of these days i'm gonna be cummin' for you , "" in prison , while mallory jacks mickey off . 
semen is a symbol for great potential and things to come . 
at the time they haven't yet had sex nor have they killed anyone yet . 
the two of course go hand in hand . 
for an even more explicit semen scene see silence of the lambs . 
mickey during his marriage to mallory : "" as creator of my universe , i pronounce us man and wife . "" 
the way woody delivers this line is truly haunting , but telling , too . 
it reveals m&m are well on their way to expunging all their destructive tendencies and replacing them with positive ones . 
this is what mickey means by "" creator of my universe , "" he is giving himself or creating for himself healthy attitudes . 
it is not necessarily a schizophrenic retreat into solipsism as it first appears . 
scagnetti's first meeting with mallory is through her pubic hair he plucks from the gas station attendant's mouth . 
the indian sage releasing mallory's father , who was reincarnated as a snake : "" old man , go be a snake , "" after telling his "" snake story "" that ends with "" bitch , you knew i was a snake . "" 
after mickey shoots this sage to death during a bewildering nightmare , mallory says , "" you killed life ! ! ! "" 
this is another telling quote because it implies they didn't see themselves as killers of life . 
then what were they killing up to that time ? 
in some case just those zombies faking their way through life , the living dead , as it were . 
in other cases , all the anti-life forces , the cops and their parents . 
the butterfly just before the movie shifts into the prison . 
it of course symbolizes rebirth . 
dr . emil reingold , as portrayed by steven wright , passing judgement on m&m : "" mickey and mallory know the difference between right and wrong , they just don't give a damn . "" 
this is reminiscent of nietzsche's whole philosophy , and maybe a direct reference to his beyond good and evil . 
mickey : "" the rabbit says the moment of realization is worth 1000 prayers . "" 
mickey ( again in his interview ) : "" me and you , we are not the same species . "" 
notice when the escape is in progress we get some role reversals in terms of leadership and control . 
mickey the prisoner becomes the leader of his little gang . 
the wardens become prisoners and the civilians like wayne gayle and his producer follow the leader , no matter who it is . 
mickey : how ya feelin' ? 
wayne : fucking great ! 
mickey : you got the feelin' ? 
wayne : i'm alive . 
i'm alive for the first fuckin' time ! 
what an incredible transformation this is . 
he got the feeling and he couldn't contain himself . 
what a feeling . 
that feeling of metaphysical freedom that you can create your own universe . 
mickey when almost caught in a dead end , "" think , think , think , think . "" 
go figure it out . 
dwight ( tommy lee jones ) in general , because he may be the sickest fuck in the whole film . 
his whole attitude can be summed up with , "" destroy them ! ! ! "" 
"
"1","the bond series is an island in the film world ; where else would we look forward to cliches , and all of the other things that occur in most of these films ? 
where else would pure escapism , a vulnerable hero , the "" talking villains , "" blatant product placement , predictable action sequences , and lots of promiscuity be hoped for instead of a significant change ? 
i don't understand it myself , but that's what the bond series is based on . 
for ( i think ) 18 films , we've mostly got the same thing over and over again , with some variation ( and a bit of change , most notably in the two dalton films ) . 
but even i , a king of cynicism , can't bitch about it . 
and "" tomorrow never dies , "" the ( again , i think ) eighteenth bond film , and second brosnan bond film , is no exception . 
thank god ! 
the plot , as in most of them , is pure balderdash , but seems to have a nice kind of edge to it . 
instead of just plain billionaire psychotics , we get a rupert murdoch-esque media mogul/psychotic - elliot carver ( jonathan pryce , looking bitching with a white-haired cru cut , and always talking like he's out of breath ) , who has the admittingly ingenius idea of getting ratings by creating a war . 
no , this is not "" wag the dog "" - he wants a real war , between china and england , and is stupid enough to put the coverage out before anyone else discovered it . . . in 
comes bond . 
james is sent all around the world , trying to do research on carver , fighting with his men , and running into ( on more than one occasion ) a chinese secret agent like him : wai lin ( michelle yeoh , asian action star extraordinaire . . . and 
co-star of "" supercop , "" nearly stealing the screen from jackie chan in that one ) . 
the two eventually , and predictably of course , begin working together , and yes , there is some sexual tension between the two . 
luckily , their relationship is never strained , and she never gives into his cassanova-ness until the finale . 
thank god again . 
in every bond film , james bags , on average , three women ( sometimes more , sometimes less - the latter being more potent towards the aids-cautionary dalton ) , and he doesn't spoil this one ( though we never see them , of course - i mean , they need to stay around a pg-13 rating ) . 
there's always one at the beginning with some chick we never see again , the big bond girl ( yeoh ) , and this time we have an almost-cameo by teri hatcher as carver's wife , paris , who , it seems , was once one of the girls he bags at the beginning . 
yes , teri's very attractive , but she seems kind of dull . 
of course , it's not really her fault ; her part is under-written , and she's only in a small part of it . 
oh well . 
and there are always the big henchmen , the guys who do the dirty work for the polished big villains . 
this time we get a tall , arian-looking ( not to mention robert shaw in "" from russia with love "" -looking ) guy named stamper ( goetz otto ) , who is pretty awesome , although a bit stiff ( well , mostly his posture , really ) . 
and for a bit of comedy , we get a cameo from vincent shiavelli as a german or austrian assassin who is ordered to do in bond at one point . 
the government people have small parts , as usual , with q ( desmond llewelyn , looking near death , sadly ) getting only one scene ( in a more grouchy mood than usual ) , and m ( judi dench ) , getting more than m usually gets ( i mean , it is judi dench ) . 
and for no reason whatsoever , except 'cause he was so good in "" goldeneye , "" joe don baker shows up again as wade , admitting he has no reason for being there , and is this time more annoying . 
again , oh well . 
the action sequences are not a let-down , although sometimes go on too long . 
they pop up every now and then , mainly because they have to ( for the sake of the series ) , and some significant ones are the opening one , one in a garage with a bmw that runs on remote control , and a motorcylce chase ( on a bmw cycle , nonetheless ) through china streets ( or was it vietnam . . . the 
plot's not really essential ) . 
they're more high-tech , and feature much more laughs , which , yeah , i dig . 
so what if they're distracting ; they're supposed to be ! 
the acting , from most around is great . 
yeoh is , actually , one of the better bond girls , mainly because she's so unique . 
the better bond girls are more independent , and have a certain wily-ness to them . 
pussy galore , with her homoerotic undertones and all , is one of the best , and diana rigg , who married bond at the end of "" on her majesty's secret service "" only to be killed , added some emotional depth . 
yeoh is notable since she's so active , and has great chemistry with brosnan . 
pryce is an awesome villain , being slimy and lovable at the same time . 
and brosnan is , once again , the mack daddy . 
the bond series is built on cliches , mainly because they're so fun and add to the escapism . 
if you can remember the dalton years , and they're serious direction , you remember how unsuccessful they were , both financially and aesthetically . 
the series would falter if bogged down with too much plot , too many themes , and too much characterization . 
i don't really understand it myself , yet i'm one of the bigger fans of the series in the northeast united states . 
having seen all of them more than once ( yes , i've seen this twice already ) , you can tell i adore them . 
while it's not one of the best , like "" goldfinger "" or "" from russia with love , "" "" tomorrow never dies "" is nonetheless a truly awesome installment , even if not being as fully amazing as some of the better ones . 
"
"1","this sometimes-tedious and often-moving documentary charts the life and times of anne frank , the young diarist and most-famous victim of adolph hitler . 
writer/director/producer jon blair has collected a staggering amount of historical material on both anne and the frank family . 
we meet miep gies , one of the family's protectors who is still alive . 
she recounts how she found the diary in the days after the germans captured the franks . 
we watch otto frank , anne's father and surviving family member , in interview footage filmed before his death . 
blair successfully combines these clips , footage , and other historical records to recount exactly what happened during that terrible period of european history . 
as narrated by kenneth branagh and with diary excepts read by glenn close , anne frank remembered retells more than just anne's story . 
we meet and learn about the * many * friends , family members , and acquaintances whose lives were touched by this young woman and her writings . 
winner of the last year's academy award for best documentary . 
"
"1","john sayles' "" men with guns "" is about what happens to a society when brute force and constant threat of violence are the only means of gaining and maintaining power . 
the film takes place in an unnamed central american country , where the men with guns are the rulers . 
most of the country is divided into tiny segments - some are controlled by guerrillas with guns , some are controlled by army soldiers with guns , and all the spaces in-between are controlled by thieves , bandits , and terrorists . 
all people not fitting one of those descriptions are defined only by their powerlessness . 
however , like so many central american countries , this one also features modernity . 
there is an unnamed capital city that bears all the hallmarks of contemporary civilization : skyscrapers , hospitals , televisions , highways , etc . but , it might as well be in another country because those who live in the comforts of the city have either decided to ignore the violence ravaging the rest of the land , or else they are simply ignorant of it . 
the film's main character , dr . fuentes ( federico luppi ) falls into the latter category . 
one of his patients , an army general , describes him as the most educated man he has ever met , and also the most naive . 
fuentes is a true liberal , a caring man who thinks he can cure the ills of his country by fighting bacteria and ignorance among the indigenous indians . 
with government assistance , he has trained a large group of eager young medical students and sent them into the rainforest to cure and educate . 
this program was to be his legacy , and he repeats over and over that it was a good idea . 
however , when he ventures into that same rainforest to visit his prot ? g ? s , he finds that things have not turned out as he has envisioned . 
as he travels deeper into the forest , going from village to village , the story is always the same : the doctors were all killed by either the guerrillas or the army soldiers , usually for helping the other . 
when dr . fuentes asks a village woman why the army killed one of the doctors , she replies simply , "" because they had guns , and we didn't . "" 
rational science and all its attempts to cure have been wiped out by the men with guns , because others' sickness and ignorance helps them maintain power . 
dr . fuentes picks up several companions during his journey , all of whom are characterized by their loss . 
first , there is a young boy named conejo ( dan rivera gonz ? lez ) , who has neither a mother nor a father . 
next , fuentes crosses paths with a thief named domingo ( dami ? n delgado ) , who deserted the army because he was tired of being jeered into committing murderous atrocities . 
through his ordeal in the army , domingo has lost most of his self-respect , and defines himself only by his pistol . 
along the way , the group also picks up padre portillo ( dami ? n alc ? zar ) , a priest who has lost his faith . 
as domingo is running from the army , so is portillo - he has been labeled a guerrilla sympathizer , and ran away from the village in which he was preaching . 
last , the group takes on a mute girl named graciela ( tania cruz ) , who hasn't spoken since she was raped two years earlier , her innocence and even her will to live forcefully taken from her . 
sayles two major strengths as a director - characters and setting - are abundantly evident in "" men with guns . "" 
 ( like many of his films , sayles might have tightened this one somewhat in the editing room , but a longer-than-necessary running time is a sin almost always committed when the director is also the editor . ) 
he creates fascinating , complex characters , especially dr . fuentes and domingo . 
their uneasy relationship is also somewhat humorous in context of the film's overarching theme of violence as power - domingo's attempts to control fuentes with his revolver are constantly undermined by fuentes' belief that the revolver is unloaded ( at first it is , but later is isn't ) . 
the setting is also as thick with detail as the rainforest itself . 
sayles knows how to bring a location to life , whether it be an early twentieth-century coal mining town in "" matewan "" ( 1987 ) or a contemporary texas/mexico bordertown in "" lone star "" ( 1996 ) . 
sayles is not a particularly inventive director - he likes to let his actors do most of the work - but he and cinematographer slavomir idziak ( "" gattaca "" ) successfully evoke both the beauty and the danger of the central american terrain . 
sayles also maintains a strong sense of authenticity by filming everything on location in mexico , using all latin american actors , and having all the dialogue spoken in either spanish or native indian dialects . 
the one exception is a couple of bumbling american tourists who work not only as comic relief , but as evidence of just how clueless the united states is about what is going on a few hundred miles south of the texas border . 
it would not be a stretch to say that "" men with guns "" is a depressing film . 
in fact , the two feelings it evokes most are hopelessness and failure . 
in addition to loss , the main characters are also failures at something , whether that be dr . fuentes failure to change anything through medicine , or padre portillo's inability to stand up and be the martyr he always dreamed of being . 
nevertheless , it is bleak material sayles has chosen , and he deals with it accordingly . 
the last shot of the film does offer a hint of hope , even in a world where , as one character puts it , "" nobody refuses the men with guns . "" 
"
"1","plot : during a 10-week span in london in the fall of 1888 , jack the ripper , a man whose identity was never uncovered , committed five ritualistic , grisly murders of prostitutes . 
this film is based on the graphic novel which assembled a theory behind the century-old mystery . 
critique : awesome ! 
i love dark movies , i love stylish movies , i love good mysteries and i love johnny depp . . . so 
yes , i really dug this movie ! 
the hughes brothers are back with a vengeance , out to show the world that they are directors to be taken seriously , and this movie , my friends . . . is 
very serious ! 
in fact , it's also very gruesome and bloody and morbid and creepy and black as hell . 
it ain't for the kids , i'll tell you that much . 
and if any of those recent hack directors of two-bit scream-esque slasher flicks want some advice on effective "" kill scenes "" , do not look any further , because each one committed to this film is a cinematic stunner , especially when compared to their generic slice-and-dice contrivances . 
in fact , most of this film's structure is very creative , the actors , all solid , the atmosphere and "" feel "" of the picture , remarkably real ( gotta love those "" unfortunates "" ) , and the descent into darkness , well honed by the filmmakers . 
you can almost taste the seediness off the screen and quickly come to appreciate the politics of the time . 
but it's also an impressive mystery film , based on the true-life tale of jack the ripper , a man whose identity was never discovered . 
the theory in this film is based on the graphic novel "" from hell "" written by alan moore and presents a compelling story , which despite being a little oliver stone-ish , did manage to tie up all of its loose ends quite nicely , and present us with an entertaining bowl of mayhem , sexual depravity , drug usage , insanity , murders and love ? 
yes , the brothers even managed to slip a little "" love "" story in here , and despite not truly being developed , i guess it could've been much worse and taken up more time than was provided already . 
that's right , there's no real need to put any "" romance "" in a film about a mass murderer ! 
but that aside , you gotta give up the props to actor extraordinaire johnny depp , who once again possesses the strength in character and flawless acting abilities , to center this movie all the way through . 
sure , he's just playing a less goofier version of his ichabod crane character from sleepy hollow , but he does it so well and even added a michael caine accent to his mixed bag of tricks in this one . 
i was also surprised at how little heather graham annoyed me in this film ( i was sure that her presence would ruin this movie , but she was fine ) and how little the dreams/fantasies of depp's character had to do with the film's development ( from what i had seen in the trailer , i thought the filmmakers were going to make this the crux of the story , but thankfully , it wasn't ) . 
on the downside , the film doesn't really explain the whole freemasons cult organization real well and lacks character development . 
but then again , a story about the most mysterious serial killer of all-time is probably not the ideal spot for character refinement . 
i mean , the less i knew about each person , the more suspicious i became of each one's motives , reasons , etc . . . 
in fact , i was actually quite surprised by who was presented as the killer in the end , and that was in part , due to the distance to which i'd been held from the film's characters . . . or 
am i giving the filmmakers too much credit for something that might not have been their intention ? 
perhaps . 
overall , this is an extremely creepy production , with glorious cinematography ( reminiscent of coppola's dracula and burton's sleepy hollow ) , a grim score and solid acting . 
but it's not for everyone . 
some may be utterly repulsed by the gory particulars of these tragic events , and even though the murders aren't shown as graphically as you might think , there's enough here to send the squeamish right out the doors . 
but i for one love movies that blend their eclectic visual style with an interesting mystery and palpable , gothic atmosphere , and this flick is just that and plenty more ! 
and god knows that i will certainly not be surrendering the burnt image of jack the ripper's haunting cape silhouette and gleaming silver knife from my mind anytime soon . . . brrrrr ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
the crow ( 9/10 ) - dark city ( 9/10 ) - dracula ( 7/10 ) - jfk ( 9/10 ) - the nightmare before christmas ( 10/10 ) - the ninth gate ( 8/10 ) - the others ( 9/10 ) - quills ( 8/10 ) - shadow of the vampire ( 6/10 ) - sleepy hollow ( 8/10 ) 
"
"1","in `enemy at the gates' , jude law is a gifted russian sniper made hero by a political officer named danilov ( joseph fiennes ) who uses him in a propaganda newspaper to raise the hopes of the soldiers and people of stalingrad . 
it's world war ii , and the russian-german standoff in town could determine the outcome of things for the motherland . 
law's vassili is the russian's top pawn to victory . 
lots of war stuff happens . 
an older , german version of jude's character played by ed harris shows up halfway into the proceedings . 
he's equally talented , and the two men play a cat and mouse game trying to kill each other . 
they constantly switch roles , as the war fades far into the background . 
the cast also includes the terrific rachel weisz as a love interest for both vassili and danilov 
the set-up is decent , and so are the production values . 
boasting a wide range of grimy locales , greasy hair , and tattered costumes , the art direction prospers . 
the actors , however , suffer the problem matt damon had in `saving private ryan' . 
either their eyes , teeth , skin , or a combination of other features looked too white and clean . 
with dirt and blood all around , the blinding teeth or bright eyes of these actors divert attention from the action . 
that said , the players are mostly good in their roles , although i don't think ed harris was really trying . 
maybe he realized his role struck a difficult chord in one-notedom . 
while the film is technically about snipers , there are far too many predictable sniping scenes . 
director jean-jacques annaud expects us to view each tense situation with jude and some cohort in a tight spot as edgy and exciting , but after about the sixth time , in which we realize that jude is not going to die , it's relatively pointless . 
we get that he's talented , okay , let's move on . 
that's the problem with `enemy at the gates' ; it just doesn't know when to stop . 
witness the wasted seventeen minutes that could have been spent elsewhere . 
reestablishing his title as the most beautiful ( and often talented ) man on film , jude law carries the movie . 
without him , this costly production would have gone into the ground . 
the story and acting are of good quality , but there's never a sense of authenticity or reality . 
something about this war movie is undeniably modern , and it loses its feeling . 
strange enough , the screenplay is based on the true story of a real russian sniper . 
"
"1","it's been a good long while since we had a good old fashioned thriller , where mostly everything goes right for the audience and wrong for the characters , but it's been even longer since i saw a thriller that actually * shock * cared for the characters , not merely judged them but actually allowed their human foibles , flaws , and strengths to emerge so radiantly . 
i'd saw that it's been at least a couple decades , even as far back to the great hitchcock thrillers , though i'm hardly comparing "" a simple plan "" to , say , "" rear window "" or "" strangers on a train . "" 
yet it's almost as good . 
it's simple , yet strangely complex , and astonishingly rewarding , because instead of moving from plot point to plot point , and merely laying out they-might-be-caught overtones , it instead concerns itself with the moral corruption and depths of greed that its protagonists can go to , all without ever judging them as either evil or even immoral . 
elegantly directed by sam raimi ( yes , the same ) , "" a simple plan "" concerns itself with the discovery of a crashed plane and within a bag full of millions of dollars by an upright , moderately financially stable working man ( bill paxton ) , his dim-witted brother ( billy bob thornton ) , and his drinking buddy ( brent briscoe ) . 
without anyone around , and the possibility that no one would come looking for it , the three debate and debate but finally reach the decision that yes , they will keep it , but until any authorities or possible owners of the cash come looking , and so they generally don't flaunt anything they don't want to flaunt , they'll keep it stored away in the custody of paxton . 
the possibilites of this circumstance are much diverse : a ) they could endlessly play cat and mouse with the authorities ; b ) they could try to fight off the rightful owners , who are either villainous or just ; or c ) they could fight amongst themselves . 
 "" a simple plan , "" though borrows a little from each of these . 
a little tiff with the cops here , a subplot involving an alleged fbi agent ( a chilling gary cole ) there ) , and a bit of inside feuding over here . 
but , as austin powers would say , that's not necessarily its bag ( baby ) . 
what i most admired about this film , and what makes this a far superior and unique thriller is that it's successfully able to have its cake and eat it too . 
it effectively involves some of the traditional thriller cliches , like the ones mentioned above , but at the same time , it involves itself more deeply with the way the characters become morally corrupt and what price they have to pay to have what they think is happiness in a black duffle bag . 
so while steps are taken to neatly cover things up , and these subsequent steps go miserably awry , the film choses to never loose the sight that in covering things up to the extent that these characters have to , they are slowly losing their souls and their humanity . 
in one early scene , paxton and thornton have to make a trip back to the plane to return some of the money so it doesn't look like it was all stolen ( not a bad idea ) , when thornton screws up ( as he does continuously throughout the movie ) , and paxton has to do some major covering-up ( read : homicide ) . 
instead of a quick murder and immeadiate hands-washing , raimi shows a lengthy , painful shot from a low-angle onto paxton's face as he tries to sift through his emotions and reach a conclusion . 
there's a similar shot afterwards of paxton watching the murder he's committing and taking in all the horror which is also wonderfully effective , but the previous shot is even better : more morally complex and more gut-wrenching . 
in short , probably the best piece of direction raimi's ever done , demonstrating once again that sometimes the simplest way to do something yields the best results ( for further proof , watch "" persona "" 's "" sex scene "" and witness what may be the best scene ingmar bergman's ever done ) . 
but the film hardly stops here ; it follows completely through and rarely loses sight of its characters humanity and the depletion thereof . 
yet it also moves from step to step in such a graceful method that we never feel like the film is merely stamping out the plot points of the story . 
when the time comes for paxton to start becoming selfish and thus diabolical ( with aid from his pregnant wife , played by bridget fonda , a pal to raimi ) , he does , and soon the horror of the situation is escalating to tragic heights . 
there's at least two grand shootouts , and at least one of them may be one of the greatest shootouts in cinema history , and when they arrive , they don't come with masochistic delight but with cringe-inducing horror . 
during the one , i was actually sinking into my chair , with the mantra "" they can't do this , can they ? "" 
streeming through my head . 
in fact , this film , which is getting many comparisons to the coen's [superior , but forget about it] "" fargo , "" has many similar moments of manic insanity , attributed to the major amount of subtlety and restraint with which the directors direct what , in other hands , would be over-the-top distractedness ( imagine , i suppose , robert rodriguez directing this . . . then 
again , after seeing the "" evil dead "" films , i'd hardly assume raimi would be able to pull something like this off , although there are moments of the film which are easily dubbed "" raimi "" moments , a rifle-shot notwithstanding ) . 
instead , raimi directs with maturity and a gentle touch , easily letting the story and characters co-exist , while still letting some of the more traditional raimi elements come out , like some offbeat comic touches . 
most particularly , billy bob thornton's character , jacob , is a brilliant creation . 
his dim-wittedness is often hilarious ( for most of the film , every line he uttered was greeted with howling laughter ) , but there's authenticity to the performance that strangely enough makes sure that we're not totally laughing at him . 
the chuckles he gets are not necessarily ones of full-condescension because thornton is so damn real . 
jacob's a multi-dimensional character , and while being stupid , we see that as not so much a flaw , but a strength to his character : his simplicity is endearing and many of the acts he commits are out of a strong inner strength and belief system , primarily towards the middle where his bud and co-conspirator begins to make some heavy waves concerning the money . 
the final third of the film spends much time with him , and many of the touches upon his character , not only by thornton but also by screenwriter scott b . smith ( adapting his own book , by the way ) are just great . 
i particularly admired a back story about an old high school girlfriend , told by thornton with such sincerity and acception that the cruel story is reversed to near-sweetness and further strength of his saddened character . 
thornton is absolutely brilliant in this performance , by far the best performance he's ever given and further proof that he's the best character actor in contemporary cinema ( if you don't believe me , go back and watch his wonderful performance in "" primary colors , "" a performance that would have been nominated for an oscar if this hadn't been in the same year ) because he's easily able to slip into a character , and make him completely and utterly believable . 
he brings so much weight to the film that , as it is with most character actors , it's difficult picturing anyone else in the role . 
the rest of the cast is great too , from paxton's declining working man to chelcie ross' amiable town sheriff . 
even fonda shows off her talents nicely . 
and if i had any complaints about the film , it's that the plot is almost too simplistic , and that at times , it seems too much like an exercise , like a cruel test on humanity that still pays attention to the humanity involved . 
and the occasional narration is , as it usually is , annoying ( narration should be used with extreme caution , especially when you're trying to set things up and/or express emotions - didn't raimi watch the first murder scene ? ) . 
and , the thing that can most usually go wrong with a movie , the ending is basically amiss . 
i won't reveal it , but it's way too cruel and too much of an outsider set-up , as if the appearance of a plane wasn't already too much of that anyway . 
for a film that deals so much and so intimately with the humanity of the characters involved , this is the wrong ending . 
imagine a character-controlled ending ; otherwise , it's like if in "" crime and punishment "" if the police had caught him instead of him breaking down and confessing . . . not that i'm at all comparing "" a simple plan "" to dostoevsky . 
the ending does work , despite my protestations , but to me , there was something incessantly nagging and unsatisfying about it ; but if you had no qualms and were happy as a clam with it , then just ignore me and go about your day . 
but despite my mere claims , make no mistake that i was completely and utterly edge of my seat throughout , and even sometimes curdling up by the situations that occured , not because of any kind of gore factor ( which is , thankfully for this , very minimal ) , but because the film places its characters in situations and gives them such painful things to overcome that i've frankly not seen much like it in quite awhile . 
at least not since the previous worthy hitchcockian masterpiece . 
"
"1","some of my friends who went to live in usa complain about one thing - that country is very different from the one depicted in hollywood movies . 
that is especially true for those who end up somewhere in that unexplored land between los angeles and new york where they find , to their big surprise , that the majority of people vote republican , go to church every sunday and usually don't tolerate liberal attitudes that are taken for granted in an average american film . 
such rude awakening , however , can happen in another direction - conservative people are sometimes forced to discover unpleasant truths about world they live in . 
something like that happens to jake van dorn ( george c . scott ) , successful grand rapids businessman who shares strong calvinist convictions with the rest of his community . 
one day his daughter kristen ( ilah davis ) disappears from calvinist youth convention in california . 
van dorn is worried because he doesn't believe that his daughter would run from home . 
however , the truth delivered by private investigator andy mast ( peter boyle ) is even harder - kristen is spotted in cheap pornographic film . 
infuriated van dorn is unsatisfied with the way mast's investigation is going , so he goes to los angeles to search for kristen himself . 
unfortunately , he lacks experience and the quest , that brought him to the utter depths of sex underworld , is fruitless . 
things change when he devises cunning plan and , while doing it , stumbles on sympathetic prostitute and part time porno actress nicky ( season hubley ) . 
almost two decades after its release , hardcore is mostly forgotten by critics and film scholars . 
it is a real shame , because very few movies in today's hollywood would dare tackle controversial issues that writer and director paul schrader explored in his second directorial attempt . 
in late 1970s , it was totally different situation - films were expected to have mature , serious themes for the mature audience . 
for schrader this film was nice opportunity to expand the subplot of his previous work , taxi driver - one that deals with the great generational divide that tormented the american society in 1970s . 
on one side we have an old america that sticks to the puritan ideals of hard work and strict morals that made that country great . 
but that america is obviously unable to cope with the new challenges brought by the social turmoil in 1960s and , instead of facing them , prefers to live in rural , conservative cocoons . 
the new america , on the other hand , fares no better - ideals of the so-called "" sexual revolution "" , same as all other "" revolutions "" of the swinging sixties , degraded into exploitation and depravity . 
instead of being "" liberated "" , baby boomers are stuck with their own inability to cope with the newly discovered freedoms . 
schrader very cleverly brings the idea that those two americas , actually , aren't so far away - nice example is a brilliant scene in which van dorn , already described as an authoritarian and paternalistic capitalist , meets sleazy porno producer ; the latter one also turns out to be authoritarian , paternalistic and very dedicated to this job . 
the difference between the two is simply in the line of work . 
many contemporary critics actually accused schrader of promoting conservative agenda . 
on the surface , it may look that way - audience is forced to sympathise with van dorn and his quest . 
in the first scenes , he is portrayed as nice family man who actually doesn't deserve to experience parent's worst nightmare . 
the scene in the porno cinema that reveals kristen's fate is extremely cruel ; pain and humiliation , brought by oscar-winning actor george c . scott , is of such intensity , that the audience feels sorry for him and simply must support his agenda . 
van dorn is perhaps flawed , and the subtle hints lead to the unflattering truth at the end ; but the viewers simply know that his cause is just , and that prodigal daughter must be better off with her loving father than with the sleazy pornographers that only want to exploit her body . 
on the other hand , schrader , who grew up in an environment very much like van dorn's ( his own parents wouldn't allow him to watch movies until he was 18 ) , knows better and tries to bring another side of coin . 
even the people connected with sex underworld can show redeeming qualities - like nicky , who actually tries to improve her life , and sleazy detective who develops something like a conscience at the end . 
unfortunately , schrader fails to erase the impact of the shocking scene at the beginning , and his attempt to reconcile the opposing sides of america seems lost in somewhat clich ? d finale . 
the script is slightly flawed , and schrader as director doesn't show too much originality - his style seems too influenced by techniques that scorsese used in taxi driver . 
apart from the scenes in grand rapids , those two films even look alike . 
but the content might be more than interesting for today's viewer , especially those inspired by the current 70s revival . 
until boogie nights , no hollywood mainstream movie ever dared to explore the phenomenon of pornography in 1970s . 
hardcore , on the other hand , might serve as precious document , because it depicts sex film industry in the period often regarded as the golden age by connoisseurs - before the advent of video , when many of the porno filmmakers could afford to think of themselves as artists . 
the view of such age and the industry is very unflattering , though , but for the film whose main character takes time to explain calvinist doctrines to the audience , that shouldn't be too surprising . 
anyway , despite some flaws , hardcore remains very interesting and powerful piece of cinema . 
"
"1","vampire lore and legend has always been a popular fantasy element , substantiated by not only the sheer number of movies about the subject , but also the proliferation of cults and sects of adherents . 
and , unlike any of the more outlandish myths , the vampire holds some real-world probability ( one study claims 1 , 000 bloodsuckers exist worldwide , and places 50 in los angeles ) . 
but lest the nasties be mistaken for simple comic book bad guys , john carpenter would like to remind us that they are - and always have been - a truly frightening element of the thriller genre . 
and remind us he does in his latest film , vampires . 
there was some question , as halloween weekend approached , of how well vampires would do in comparison to new line cinema's immensely successful blade , released in august . 
the two films take noticeably different stands on the vampire issue , and don't even agree on some basic points of the slaying method . 
 ( for instance , blade's main weapons are silver and garlic , whereas main character jack crow's technique is a wooden stake to the heart . ) 
blade also gives more of a face to the vampire civilization , while carpenter would like us to remain in the dark about how the pasties operate . 
both have their advantages , and here , carpenter's style lends itself to a darker breed of suspense rather than the action movie that blade director stephen norrington delievered . 
when it's all said and done , though , the vampires still kill and die with a bloody flourish ; the level for gore is indeed set to maximum . 
this time , our hero is vatican-sponsored slayer jack crow ( james woods ) . 
he's a cynical , battle-worn veteran , and the best of his bunch . 
he and his team are responsible for cleaning out the american southwest , and after exterminating a nest one night , they run up against a super-vampire ( termed a "" master "" ) named valek ( thomas ian griffith ) . 
valek kills all of jack's team except for his partner , tony montoya ( daniel baldwin ) , and as the two regroup , they learn that valek is the original vampire - now over six hundred years old . 
apparently , valek and his minions have been sweeping the southwest for decades in search of a cross that will enable them to walk in the daytime . 
so with the aid of a priest named adam ( tim guinee ) and a bitten hooker ( sheryl lee ) as bait , they track valek down for the final confrontation . 
the script for vampires , written by don jakoby and based on the john steakley novel , is perhaps the wittiest piece of screenplay to see production all year . 
crow , in particular , is a fun source of one-liners , and woods does every one of them with perfect stoicism . 
baldwin , lee , and guinee are all fine supports , adding to the character pool , but the other true highlight of the movie is thomas ian griffith's bad guy . 
griffith's intense expression is perfect for the role , and the only downside is that he's got to talk sometime . 
luckily , he's got few lines , and manages to pull off a rather thrilling performance . 
all said , fans will surely be impressed by this picture , and those who found apt pupil a bit limp will be excited by this one . 
certainly a worthwhile visit to the theaters . 
"
"1","if the current trends of hollywood filmmaking continue , we are probably five or six years away from the moment when the 1980s would become the next golden age of movie nostalgia . 
although some hollywood products already use the last decade as a background for their stories ( mostly in ironic way , like grosse pointe blank and romy & michelle's high school reunion ) , some time should pass before the good memories of that era overcome the bad ones . 
until that happens , 1980s would be remembered as the decade of greed , when the revolutionary ideals of 1960s turned into its cruel , materialistic opposite and the money became the only thing that matters . 
contemporary movies are good in illustrating what was bad for the people who had to live in those times . 
one of such movies , one that probably brings the essence of 1980s to the screen , is william friedkin's to live and die in l . a . 
the money isn't just the symbolic motive in the film , it is the major elements of the plot . 
rick masters ( willem dafoe ) is an ex-convict who used his artistic abilities in order to become one of the best counterfeiters in l . a . being too intelligent to fall into police traps , and ruthless enough to eliminate anybody or anything that could jeopardise his career , masters managed to elude law for years and became well- connected . 
richard chance ( william l . petersen ) is a secret service agent , adrenaline junkie whose life gets new meaning after his partner got killed by masters . 
however , his plans of bringing the counterfeiter down meet one obstacle after another . 
finally he sets up a final sting , but his superiors deny him the necessary money . 
being frustrated , and against the reluctance of his new partner john vukovich ( bill pankow ) , he decides to get the money by robbing underworld courier . 
their plan backfires with almost tragic consequences when their target turns out to be undercover fbi agent , but chance decides to carry out his scheme anyway . 
like french connection , one of his previous masterpieces , this friedkin's movie was inspired by real life . 
gerrald petievich , author of the novel that later served as basis for his screenplay , spent many years working as a secret service agent . 
that turned to be useful for the portrayal of that law enforcement agency , not much utilised by hollywood . 
secret service millieu was also cleverly used in order to bring the viewer into the decade of greed ; the beginning scene where the movie's hero works as a part of presidential security detail is a nice opportunity to hear reagan's speech that could illustrate the political and economical notions of those times . 
ultramaterialistic and egotistical view of the world is shared by almost any character in the movie . 
willem dafoe brilliantly portrays dangerous and intelligent psychopath , whose ruthlessness and lack of any moral fibber doesn't seem like affliction in the reagan years ; on the contrary , those qualities actually makes masters socially acceptable . 
compared with him , and all the other side characters that want their "" piece of the action "" , two heroes on the side of law seem like losers . 
instead of being a classical good guy , secret service agent richard chance ( portrayed by william petersen in his most impressive role so far ) is nothing more than a lunatic whose adrenaline addiction and madness work against his better judgement ; his sidekick , who should serve as those "" better judgement "" is a weakling and sentimental fool that gets suckered in the end . 
in such surroundings of moral decay , the not so happy , yet surprising ending doesn't seem out of line ( although the very last shot leaves too much questions unanswered ) . 
the dark atmosphere of l . a . - city of glamour and moral decay - is nicely captured by william friedkin's directing skills . 
the tight and realistic scripts with memorable characters ( portrayed by such capable actors like john turturro , dean stockwell , debra feuer , darlanne fleugel and steve james ) gave opportunity for friedkin to use another gimmick that made him famous in his 1971 masterpiece - great car chase . 
that scene alone , with lot of realism , thrills and surprise twists , is worth seeing the rest of the film . 
the soundtrack , provided by now almost forgotten band "" wang chung "" , is also one of the more memorable of that decade . 
in every case , to live and die in l . a . is one of the rare movies in which hollywood actually tries to tell some unflattering truths about the world and succeeds in it . 
"
"1","jean-luc picard ( patrick stewart ) and the rest of the crew of the u . s . s . 
enterprise are back for their third outing in the ninth film based on the 1960's series , star trek . 
gone are kirk , spock and mccoy and in their wake in the very able and very talented cast from star trek : the next generation . 
as usual , a crisis is brewing and it is up to the crew of the enterprise to make the galaxy safe again . 
this time out the united federation of planets and an alien race led by f . murray abraham are trying to move some colonists off a planet against the colonist's will . 
it turns out that this planet is the fountain of youth and the federation and their alien buddies feel that is should be used for the good of everyone and not just a few hundred colonists . 
of course picard feels that this sort of treachery is wrong , so he disobeys direct orders and vows to help protect the colonists . 
insurrection is a lighter movie than the last two star trek films . 
the film focuses on the lofty question of whether the rights of society as a whole outweighs the rights of a small group . 
in this respect it gets back to the roots of star trek by disguising social commentary as science fiction . 
it doesn't do a bad job , other than it tries to inject too much humor into the story line . 
many of the jokes are your typical inside star trek-fan-only jokes , while many of the others just fall flat . 
the other criticism that i had with the story was that it ignores common sense . 
there are only a few hundred people on this whole planet , why do they have to be moved ? 
the explanation is that the planet has to be bombarded with deadly radiation so that this fountain of youth effect will be strong enough to help heal f . murray abraham's aliens who number only a couple of dozen . 
so the basic story line is bad enough in that we have a few hundred being booted out for a few billion , at least that's plausible . 
but in reality we have a few hundred being moved for the benefits of a few dozen , which makes no sense whatsoever . 
the other little hiccup in logic is the inclusion of worf ( michael dorn ) , the trusty klingon . 
worf was on star trek : the next generation , so they want to include him in the films . 
no problem so far . 
worf is now a character of star trek : deep space nine , so the writers have to find a way to have him show up . 
in the last star trek movie , first contact , the included worf in a credible fashion , in this one , the writers are so lazy that the completely gloss over why he is even in the movie . 
what little explanation they do give is so small that you would have missed it if you weren't hanging on every word on the screen . 
my minor problems with the movie aside , star trek : insurrection does have an overwhelming number of good points as compared to its bad ones . 
while many of the jokes do miss the mark , many are pretty good , even for non-trekkies . 
the special effects are among the best for the star trek series . 
the action is plentiful and well done . 
this is a very good-looking movie . 
it should come as no surprise to anyone who ever watched star trek : the next generation that the acting is first rate . 
it is very obvious that these actors have been working together for over a decade . 
they interact with each other with a skill that few other ensemble casts can muster . 
most star trek fans probably will not be disappointed with this latest film in the series . 
if you've always hated star trek , there is nothing here that is going to change your mind . 
star trek : insurrection is not the best film in the series , but it is good enough to dispel the long standing tradition of the odd numbered films in the series being far inferior to the even numbered ones . 
"
"1","the promotion for fear and loathing in las vegas ? has made the film out to be a comedy , and for about the first hour or so it seems like it might be one . 
it's 1971 , and the hippie movement has left behind quite a few wash-outs , among them journalist raoul duke ( johnny depp ) and his "" attorney "" dr . gonzo ( benito del toro ) . 
these two spend most of the film in a drug-induced stupor , having strange hallucinations , trashing their hotel rooms , and either annoying or scaring almost everyone that crosses their path . 
duke is first assigned to cover an outdoor desert motorcycle race in las vegas , but gets lost in a blur of drugs , beer , and flying dust , and ends up wandering around with no clue who won . 
he leaves vegas briefly before he is sent back , in what can only be described as a strangely appropriate twist of fate , to cover a drug enforcement conference . 
fear and loathing has been misinterpreted by some as glorifying the use of drugs . 
it doesn't , even in the beginning--while the pair's antics are sometimes amusing and relatively harmless at first , the humor here is still fairly dark . 
director terry gilliam views them with a rather satirical eye , and even when we're laughing , we're laughing at them rather than with them . 
they spend most of their time paranoid , angry , or just plain befuddled , which is probably an understandable reaction to seeing the entire room suddenly fill up with giant reptiles . 
the black comedy may be entertaining to watch onscreen , but it's probably not something most other audience members would want to experience first-hand . 
all this aside , i was starting to grow a bit restless as the film drew near its one-hour mark , thinking to myself that i wanted something more out of this than just an off-kilter satire of drug culture . 
thankfully , the script delivers it before too long , as duke , in a rare moment of lucidity , stops to recall how he was once an enthusiastic hippie , "" riding the wave "" of something that seemed special and important . 
now it's six years later and the wave has finally broken , as he puts it . 
materialistic culture is still alive and well and , for most of this film , right in his face in las vegas ; the "" american dream "" of which duke occasionally speaks is still just as shallow and phony as ever . 
the social protesters have lost , and the more questionable aspects of the movement have turned ugly and left casualties such as duke to drift in a sea of drugs and disillusionment . 
in many ways , fear and loathing is gilliam's most reality-based film ; all of his others , with the exception of the fisher king , have made use of some sort of fantasy or science-fiction plot elements . 
yet it is his off-the-wall masterpiece brazil ? to which this film bears the most visual resemblance . 
the protagonist of brazil found himself alternately surrounded by a plastic , soulless society and the constant chaos of totalitarian police inspections and terrorist attacks , and similarly duke's world is composed of the artificial , empty glam of las vegas and the bizarre anarchy of his drug hallucinations . 
unlike the protagonist of brazil , however , duke is not a particularly admirable figure , and neither is gonzo . 
during the latter half of the film , their trips turn nastier and the consequences worse , eventually building up to an incident an a diner in which gonzo crudely frightens and humiliates a waitress , while duke , though he doesn't seem to approve , doesn't do anything to stop it either . 
by the time this scene takes place , they don't seem like hippies or peaceniks or protesters or anything of the sort any more ; they just seem like a couple of stoned jerks in a diner . 
duke seems to realize at some level that he's become something he doesn't like , but he's either too apathetic or too defeated to do anything to change . 
this film has taken a critical drubbing from many who view it as an essentially pointless film that simply throws one trip scene after another at the audience . 
while gilliam may have overdone it in a few places , i think he and his co-writers deserve more credit than that . 
there's plenty of substance here , particularly in the second half ; its observations about the broken and defeated rebels from the '60s and the objects of their rebellion just aren't usually very pleasant . 
unlike , say , brazil ? or the fisher king , both of which feature a character who dares to let himself dream in a repressive environment , fear and loathing in las vegas ? shows us someone who's given up on his dreams and resorts to the quick fix of drugs . 
in its own psychedelic , whacked-out way , it's sad and regretful , but i think it's also a bit of a kick in the pants , a challenge to find an alternative between chemically-induced withdrawal and the equally addictive drug of vegas-style materialism . 
indeed , duke himself admits at one point that he's never learned to accept that you can get higher without drugs than with them . 
i'm not sure if he's any closer to accepting it by the end or not , but i suspect the audience will get the idea . 
"
"1","james cmaeron's breakthrough feature was the first of his films to showcase his obsession with technology and more specfically technology run amok . 
for those of you who do not know the plot : in 2029 machines have engineered a nuclear for the expressed purpose of wiping out the human race . 
human survivors are systematically hunted down and destroyed . 
however , some humans are fighting back led by the heroic john connor . 
to stop connor , the machines send a terminator ( arnold schwarzenegger ) back to 1984 to murder connor's mother , sara ( linda hamilton ) , and thus prevent connor from ever being born . 
in response , the humans send a protector , kyle reese , played by michael biehn . 
images of machines and of humans' reliance on machines dominate the film . 
even though the characters know that the benign oil drillers of 1984 will become the ruthless hunter killers of 2029 , humans continue to use the machines . 
in the climax of star wars , luke relies on the force alone--his own spiritual power--to destroy the death star . 
in the terminator , however , sara must use another machine--a giant hydraulic press--to vanquish her enemy . 
cameron seems to be implying that this reliance on technology is inescapable--and he's not happy about it . 
unabated technological growth brings about the terminator's other obsession : the apocalypse . 
we have plenty of imagery regarding armageddon : thousands of human skulls line the streets of future la . 
children watch the flames in a burning television . 
when the terminator arrives in 1984 an almost biblical lightning storm precedes him . 
even though the "" future is not set , "" there is no doubt about where the world is headed at the end of the movie : the machines will rise and the humans will have to struggle for their very existence . 
all sara can do is await it . 
 ( cameron doesn't wimp out like he does in terminator 2 ) 
the end of the world is the human race's own fault , too . 
after all it is the humans that created in the evil machines in the first place . 
back in 1984 , when the cold war was still in full effect , the film must have been seen as a very apt metaphor for nuclear war ( another obsession of cameron's ) . 
these days , one can read a criticism of machine-like behavior in humans . 
true , humanizing touches are put into paul winfield's and lance henriksen's detective characters , but the terminator is also able to move through the city undetected . 
cameron also draw parallels between the mechanical efficiency between the terminator and reese when they first arrive in 1984 la . 
from a technical standpoint the terminator is very well done . 
arnold schwarzenegger is a perfect antagonist--unstoppable , merciless , obdurate . 
we are not meant to empathize with this ultimate killing machine as we are in some of schwarzenegger's later works ( eg , commando ) , but fear him . 
cameron and hurd's script basically depicts a one hour and forty-five minute chase , taking a few moments here and there to explain time travel and develop the romantic subplot . 
while we do see the hackneyed dialogue cameron is now so well known for , there is also considerable suspense especially for the first time viewer who may be unsure of kyle reese's intentions . 
cameron directs the film at a rapid , kinetic pace . 
either the camera is moving or something within the frame is moving--usually both occurs . 
the violence is not particularly graphic ( temple of doom's heart-pull scene outgrosses the terminator's ) , but it is brutally staged making it that much more effective . 
for a low budget film , the terminator's special effects and art direction ( especially in 2029 la ) are remarkably well done . 
special mention should be made of the stop motion effects work at the end of the film depicting the terminator endoskeleton . 
it is some of the best stop motion i have ever seen . 
one thing that doesn't hold up after all the years , however , is linda hamilton's hairdo . 
"
"1","it might surprise some to know that joel and ethan coen , who have brought such unabated lunacy to our movie screens as "" raising arizona "" and "" the hudsucker proxy , "" made their feature film debut with "" blood simple , "" a grim and often gruesome tale of revenge , murder , and literally fatal misconceptions in rural texas . 
it bears some resemblance , story-wise , to the coens' recent "" fargo , "" but even the darkly satirical humor and the enjoyably quirky characterizations that characterized that film are scarce here ; "" blood simple "" is pretty much cold and brutal from beginning to end . 
the premise of "" blood simple "" is really just a slight variation on the standard love-triangle/revenge scheme : sleazy bar owner julian marty ( dan hedaya ) hires a shifty private detective ( m . 
emmet walsh ) to kill his wife abby ( frances mcdormand ) and her illicit lover ray ( john getz ) . 
things start to go haywire when walsh decides instead to fake the murder with photographic trickery but , upon collecting the money , becomes uncertain as to whether or not marty is capable of keeping his mouth shut about the scheme . 
to reveal any more details of the story would be to give away too much , but what ensues is a series of bloody ( and i do mean bloody ) confrontations , each triggered by one or more characters misunderstanding what is actually happening . 
every act of violence or deception in this film makes sense when seen through the perpetrator's eyes , but we , the audience , are made privy to the "" big picture "" and thus can recognize that each misdeed is somehow either unnecessary or directed at the wrong person . 
this aspect of the story , along with the intense atmosphere of repulsion and brutality - one gets the sense that if guns and , in one case , shovels , were not available , some of these characters would claw each other to death - are the most effective components of the film . 
the coens might have done well to title the film "" fear and loathing in texas . "" 
some have labeled "" blood simple as a modern-day noir , but , while i am not an expert on either genre , it seems more like a horror movie than anything else . 
the coens seem much more interested in the plot twists and the atmosphere of confusion and paranoia than they do in the characters , and the final sequence is nothing more than a showdown between the one ( relatively ) innocent character and the only one of the murderers left alive . 
that said , "" blood simple "" is a very good horror movie ; the fear and suspense here are genuine . 
the coens also add plenty of quirky touches that nudge the weirdness meter upwards , such as when a character enters an empty room and accidentally steps on a gun , discharging it as it skitters across the floor , or when a murder attempt unfolds in a way such that abby mistakes her attacker for another character who has in fact been killed earlier in the film . 
that said , "" blood simple "" is not exactly flawless . 
for one thing , the motivations for the killings are still a little thin at times ; i can understand that the characters had tracks to cover ( or at least thought they did ) , but i found it a little hard to accept that all of them would so quickly resort to murder . 
and although they at least didn ? t have anyone get hacked to death with a knife , the coens also aren't quite immune to horror cliches ; they indulge in a prolonged dead-guy-seems-to-have-come-back-to-life-but-then-we-find-out-it's-only-a-dream scene that had me rolling my eyes . 
the film also ends so quickly after the final confrontation that i found myself wondering if they had simply run out of film . 
 "" blood simple "" is not quite the masterpiece of neo-noir that many seem to think it is , but it's a decent movie and it showcases the coens' ability to handle suspense and violence in a visceral but non-exploitative manner . 
i would firmly recommend it to all "" coen-heads "" as well as anyone looking for something original in a thriller . 
"
"1","kirk douglas is one of those rare american actors who can say more with a simple glance than most can say with pages of dialogue . 
all he has to do is look at someone with a raised eyebrow , and you instantly know what he's thinking . 
 "" detective story "" features one of kirk douglas's finest performances . 
he stars as a new york detective that has his whole world fall apart in one night . 
the film is based on a play , and this is quite evident , as most of the movie takes place in the one-room flat that the detective's work in . 
the film opens with the douglas character getting ready to go home to his wife , but through a series of events , he never quite makes it there . 
the bulk of the movie follows the case of a man named schneider , a surgeon who routinely performs abortions with a high fatality rate . 
however , this schneider character has a connection in the past of douglas's wife ; a connection douglas himself is not aware of . 
many secrets are revealed in the last half hour of this film . 
secrets i would not dream of giving away . 
with a name like "" detective story "" , one would assume the film would resemble an episode of "" nypd blue "" , but it doesn't quite work out that way . 
however , we do see douglas at work on a few other cases throughout the running time . 
lee grant ( virtually unrecognizable ) plays a meek jewish woman arrested for shoplifting . 
her scenes with bendix , another detective , provide the movie with a few laughs . 
the performances all around are fantastic . 
douglas may be the leader of this ensemble , but he's not the center of attention all the time . 
we get to catch a glimpse into other cases and other detectives working on those cases . 
which brings me back to douglas . 
he has a really emotional scene towards the end of the picture that really makes you feel for him . 
we can see that this is a man who has spent his whole life trying to eliminate crime , but has finally realized that what he's really done is gotten back at his criminal father . 
how he handles coming to terms with this is something really worth seeing . 
kirk douglas is the kind of actor we don't seem to see to much of these days : he's a tough guy , but the human elements are never hidden too deeply underneath that gruff exterior . 
"
"1"," "" a man is not a man without eight taels of gold . "" 
starring sammo hung , sylvia chang ; directed by mabel cheung ; written by cheung and alex law ; cinematography by bill wong 
eight taels of gold begins as a fish out of water story and at some point becomes a love story involving two people whose past choices prevent the fruition of their love . 
neither aspect of the movie is entirely successful , but both are good enough . 
and along the way there is one perfect scene , which is one more than you find in most films . 
slim ( played by portly sammo hung , better known as a star and director of hong kong action movies ) is a chinese immigrant who drives a yellow cab in new york . 
when the movie opens , we see him shouting obscenities at another taxi driver . 
he does not seem particularly out of place . 
in fact , he is about to return to visit his home in rural china for the first time in sixteen years , spending most of his life savings in the process , and it is there that he will become the proverbial fish out of water , as he realizes that you can never go home . 
he brings with him some statue of liberty cigarette lighters , cheap sunglasses , and lobsters ( which have to be large , to prove they're american ) --the tokens of his success . 
he also wears a gold chain and a gold watch , because without eight taels of gold , a man is not a man ( my dictionary tells me that taels are a unit of weight used in the far east , and i assume the phrase is a chinese proverb ) . 
he loses most of this stuff--except the gold--when his van crashes into a river and he has to hitch a ride , so to speak , on a raft along the river which runs past his parents' village . 
when he arrives unannounced , he almost induces cardiac arrest in his father . 
all of this has the makings of a routine comedy , and the movie has its amusing moments , as when the villagers take turns giving slim gifts during a celebration of his homecoming , and they all give him birds , so by evening's end he is surrounded by turkeys , ducks , geese and other sundry fowl . 
but eight taels is not a comedy--it is a sad , sweet story about the choices people make , and how they are sometimes irreparable . 
director mabel cheung ( an autumn's tale , the soong sisters ) sees clearly what it is like to have lived half of your life in one country and half in a country on the other side of the world--what it is like to no longer have a place to call home . 
slim does not belong in china , nor does he belong in america , where he can barely speak the language . 
seeing water buffalo in the fields and rafts poled down the river and fireworks exploding gloriously in the sky over a small village , we come to know the world slim left behind , and it seems as if he too is knowing it for the first time , and wishes it felt more like home . 
the condition of the expatriate is eloquently portrayed ; i , being one , was sympathetic . 
on his way to his parent's village , slim hooks up with jenny ( sylvia chang ) , whom he knew when she was a girl nicknamed odds-and-ends , which is what he continues to call her , although she is now a mature , professional , attractive woman , to be married in the spring to an american-chinese man . 
slim and odds-and-ends fall for each other . 
that's predictable . 
the manner in which their ( non- ) romance is played out is not . 
the emotions involved are adult and complex , and the film avoids cheap solutions to their dilemma . 
it's typical , for instance , that the fianc ? in this sort of plot be a colossal jerk , because it makes it easier to empathize with the unrequited lover . 
but here the fianc ? is a decent , ordinary guy , and although slim would like to feel anger , he cannot . 
the fianc ? has done nothing wrong ; the situation is the result of bad luck or bad decisions , take your pick . 
eight taels has its share of flaws ( the early sequences in america and on the plane to china are especially weak ) , but it compensates with insight . 
when odds-and-ends tells slim that her future husband wants to move to san francisco , she notes resignedly , "" it's all the same . 
wherever we go , we'll be in chinatown , "" and her straightforward statement expresses much . 
there is insight , too , in the understanding of the consequences of slim and odds-and-ends' decisions : he to move to america , she to marry a chinese-american . 
both their choices were perhaps born of impatience , perhaps of a sense that the grass is always greener--and it turns out that both choices were wrong . 
but they cannot undo them ; they must live with what they have done . 
such is life . 
the movie is tender toward these people , but it offers no false comforts . 
everything that is right and true about eight taels comes together in one great scene , which is the culmination of the love story . 
slim and odds-and-ends sit in a secluded spot and talk hesitantly , with the muted pop-pop of fireworks exploding in the night behind them , and it seems the conversation will lead to a kiss . 
the exchange that follows , and what slim then does , is poignant and perfect : with clarity and understatement , we see two people's lives , their heartbreaks and virtues , summed up in a single moment . 
yes , the film is flawed , but moments like that justify most of its inadequacies . 
"
"1","the summer movie season is always the biggest and brightest season for movies throughout the year . 
we are introduced to blockbuster hits that are usually trashed by critics , loved by the people , and make tons of money at the box office . 
this year , the tradition continues with an update on the universal 1932 classic , the mummy . 
i have always been a sucker for this kind of monster movies , and i always seem to be the only critic who really likes them . 
that tradition continues as well with this fun special effects extravaganza . 
in the mummy , the up and coming brendan fraser stars as the adventurous explorer rick o'connell . 
he teams up with a curious , clumsy librarian named evelyn , played by rachel weisz , to find the mysterious city of the dead , hamunaptra . 
evelyn loves egypt , and would truly like to visit the city that people call a fable . 
rick has claimed he has been to hamunaptra during a battle , and that's why she chose him to lead her there . 
also tagging along on the journey to the city of the dead is evelyn's brother , jonathan , played by john hannah ( sliding doors ) . 
now in hamunaptra , the three uncover "" the book of the dead . "" 
the curious evelyn unlocks the book , reads from it , and now the body of the ancient egyptian imhotep ( arnold vosloo ) becomes alive and is out to kill the ones who opened and read from the book . 
along with imhotep arising from the dead , the ten curses of egypt become in full effect , launching unbelievable forces against the three and another group who set out to find hamunaptra . 
not only is imhotep furious with those who awoke him , he is also out to restore the life of his girlfriend that lost her life long ago in ancient egypt . 
don't expect huge things out of the mummy , but just expect to have a good time . 
this movie is extremely campy and plays out like an old horror film with beefed up special effects , which may turn off some viewers . 
on the other hand , this type of film is one of my favorites , but that's up to you to decide . 
there is one thing that definitely not campy or corny about the mummy though . 
the state of the art special effects take you into a completely different world . 
we are dazzled by faces rising out of the desert , swarms of beetles and locusts , and even creatures crawling under a human's skin . 
these may have been in other movies before , but not like in the mummy . 
as of now , the mummy holds the title for best special effects of this year , but all this could change when star wars episode 1 : the phantom menace is released into theaters across the country . 
in the past , brendan fraser has played mainly comedic roles . 
when playing "" george "" in disney's george of the jungle , he was mainly not known by anyone . 
i would say that gods and monsters is the film that gave him a name , and now the mummy will give him a name amongst teens . 
in the mummy , fraser gets to play an action hero , and i liked him in this sort of role over the comedic role , as in the films blast from the past and george of the jungle . 
although brendan fraser is great , rachel weisz gives the best performance among the cast . 
weisz really reminded me of a character from an old , horror film . 
the way she acts , looked , and talked all reminded me of someone not from this time . 
evelyn is probably the only character that was likable , considering that the other characters , like john hannah's , didn't get much personal attention . 
in many films , when different genres are mixed , the mixing usually works , and i like it for the most part . 
in the mummy though , not all of the mixing works . 
there are some scenes that have a lot of potential horror , some with potential comedy , some with potential drama , and some with potential pure action , but the film tries to mix them together too often for the mixing to work . 
the mummy could have gotten an "" a "" rating from me if it had gone purely with one of these . 
i didn't mind the corny one-liners here and there during action sequences , but it certainly could have done without them . 
the cinematography is amazing in the mummy . 
particularly in one scene depicting ancient egypt , we are taken into a very fun portrayal of egypt , mummies , and the treasures left behind by the ancient egyptians . 
the costume design in the film is also up there with the great cinematography . 
from ancient egyptians outfits to original troops outfits , the costumes are always top notch . 
the bottom line- with the mummy , the summer is off to its usually great start . 
"
"1","jacques tati's 1953 classic "" les vacances de m . hulot "" ( also known as "" mr . hulot's vacation , "" in english ) ought to be the textbook on how to do non ? dialogue comedy in film . 
the characters hardly ever speak to each other directly , and the film operates on the paper ? thin premise that monsieur hulot , played by tati himself , is awkward and clumsy and generally manages to annoy the other guests at the beach resort hotel where he is taking a week's vacation . 
yet the film had me beside myself laughing more consistently than any in recent memory . 
part of the reason the film works so well is the clever setup for the various gags . 
slapstick has often been regarded as an unsophisticated and even crude form of comedy , but i think part of the reason for this is that it often seems forced : you can only see movie characters start running after something and then crash face-first into a pole so many times before you start to wonder what all these poles are doing there in the first place or why these people don't watch where they're going . 
in "" les vacances de m . hulot , "" the gags build upon each other and often start out relatively low-key . 
in one sequence , for example , hulot is painting the side of his small row boat on the beach when , while his back is turned , the paint can gets caught up in the oncoming waves , washes away , then comes back up on the other side of the boat . 
while crossing over to get the can , hulot steps in the boat and unknowingly cracks it . 
when he actually takes the boat out into the water , it breaks in half , but the two halves flip up against each other , trapping him inside as the bystanders mistake it for a shark fin and panic on the beach ensues . 
tati doesn't waste a single opportunity for humor ; scenes that might have yielded one joke in most comedies are good for at least four or five in this film . 
it has been said that comedy relies on frustrating the audience's expectations , and "" les vacances de m . hulot "" succeeds brilliantly in that area as well . 
tati accomplishes this largely through a sort of deadpan understatement . 
when hulot goes into a separate room during dinner and starts playing a record at defeaningly loud volume , no fights or shouting matches ensue ; instead , the waiter calmly walks in and shuts off the power in the room , disconnecting the record player and leaving a puzzled hulot sitting in the dark . 
tati also uses running gags to this effect , allowing them to keep running far longer than most comedy directors would ; more often than not , we can see them coming and think , "" oh , he's not going to do that again , "" but , lo and behold , he does . 
for example , there is a recurring joke in which hulot's noisy , sputtering car engine wakes everyone in the middle of the night as an exterior shot reveals the hotel's lights coming on one by one . 
then this image turns up again in the finale , which i will not give away other than to say that involves a lot more noise in the middle of the night than a car engine could ever produce . 
the ending is one of two elements that really make this a four-star film as opposed to merely an above-average , clever comedy . 
as much as i was laughing during this film , i was thinking to myself occasionally that tati had to top himself at the end to really make this work as a complete viewing experience ; suffice it to say that he did . 
the other important aspect is that the film never seems disdainful of its characters . 
it easily could have turned the tables on hulot and had the other guests exact some kind of revenge on him ; alternatively , it could have portrayed the others as humorless curmudgeons . 
instead , tati seems to regard his characters with cheerful amusement more than anything else and invites the audience to like them , however strange or irritating they might seem . 
 "" les vacances de m . hulot "" is not subtitled , but the dialogue is sparse and for the most part not terribly essential to the flow of events . 
anyone with a taste for this kind of absurd humor ought to make this film their next rental from the video store . 
note : "" les vacances de m . hulot "" was not rated by the mpaa . 
it would at most receive a pg rating . 
"
"1","i had lost all faith in pg-13 movies that are intended for teenagers and adults . 
the last dozen or so that i have seen have all felt incomplete , as if the most crucial scene was deleted in order to obtain a more lucrative rating . 
however , after seeing the creative frequency last week and now the exciting u-571 , my bias is beginning to go away . 
both films are as innocuous for younger viewers as they are intellectual for older viewers . 
even better , i didn't think either one of these films would be any good from first instincts . 
everyone loves surprises . 
u-571 looked like another action film using an actual war as an excuse to shoot torpedoes and bullets . 
this may be true , but the action is so extraordinary that it is clear director/co-writer jonathan mostow completed his ultimate goal ; to blow the audience's socks off . 
set during the early stages of world war 2 when the united states struggled to break the codes of the technologically advanced german u-boats , u-571 follows a small crew of american men who swipe the typewriter necessary to solve the enigma from an enemy ship . 
there's only one problem : the american ship they came from and hoped to return to has been shot down stranding the men on a german submarine known as ( you guessed it ) u-571 . 
it is now up to the mostly young and inexperienced sailors , led by an interim captain named tyler ( matthew mcconaughey ) , to return the typewriter to america without getting sunk by far superior german ships . 
the film starts off very slowly with a somewhat weak opening action sequence and another uneventful half an hour to introduce several of the sailors ( most of whom die when the mission goes awry or just inexplicably disappear ) . 
once the crew gets on the u-boat , the movie shifts to another level and never leaves this high energy level until the ending credits roll down . 
as soon as the action starts , it does not stop and luckily , because it is so exciting , i didn't want it to stop . 
this is not a movie for those wanting to avoid loud noises , from the wonderful , heart-pounding score to the constant yelling of panicking men , make sure you see this at a theater with surround-sound ? otherwise , do not see it all . 
the best parts of u-571 are when tyler is forced to make impromptu decisions on how to escape seemingly impossible situations . 
throughout the movie , several morals or characters are introduced to make tyler's job as stressful as possible . 
germans gun down their own men , tyler's mentor captain dahlgren warns him that a captain has to be prepared to sacrifice even the most beloved soldiers for a victory , another sailor ( erik palladino ) threatens mutiny . 
all of these examples , and several others , increase the chaotic atmosphere and the importance of tyler's every move . 
they also make u-571 one of the most exhilarating movies i have seen in a while . 
"
"1","the 1990s produced two brilliant science fiction films . 
one was _gattaca_ . 
the other was _the thirteenth floor_ . 
just as _gattaca_ was overshadowed by the mighty _titanic_ , _the thirteenth floor_ was relegated to obscurity by _the matrix_ . 
however , _the thirteeth floor_ , though it deals with similar themes , is a much better movie than the frenetic , childish and improbable _matrix_ . 
a cutting edge computer scientist , hannon fuller ( played by the charming armin mueller-stahl ) , is murdered . 
his associate , douglas hall , ( craig bierko ) apparently framed and suspected by the police , enters into the simulated world they have created in order to unravel the mystery . 
along the way a beautiful blonde ( gretchen mol ) , more bodies , and a deepening mystery about simulated worlds complicate the picture . 
_the thirteenth floor_ unfolds slowly and telegraphs its punches , choosing to elicit the more complex emotional response of empathy and anticipation rather than the cheap one of mere surprise . 
the result is a movie that is a failure from two conventional points of view . 
first , its plot revelations can be foreseen if one has carefully followed its complex storyline . 
second and more seriously , it demands that its audience think and feel . 
no wonder it fell through the cracks . 
done in film noir style as a murder mystery , this is a relatively deep movie that functions on several levels . 
many audiences will simply be bewildered by it , rather than engaged , which is a shame , because this movie amply repays a little emotional and intellectual investment . 
i recommend a second viewing simply to get the flavor of the frequent ironic foreshadowing in the opening parts of the movie . 
despite its philosophical challenges , _the thirteenth floor_ derives its emotional force from the love story between jane fuller ( mol ) and douglas hall ( bierko ) , as well as the close friendship between douglas hall and hannon fuller . 
in that sense it is more akin to _gattaca_ than _the matrix_ , which , for all of its cute philosophical byplay , is an adolescent movie with no emotional depth whatsoever . 
the moment when jane fuller confesses her love for douglas hall is at once satisfying , wrenching and intellectually challenging . 
in its final moments the film even takes on itself , when david , jane's husband , who has come to enjoy killing , accuses her of being the sick one . 
although there is a victory for the leading characters , this resolution suggests a disturbing element of fantasy in jane , and thus a deep-seated character flaw . 
in fact , hannon fuller's activities in the simulated world , the behavior of jane's husband , and the effects of entering the simulation on douglas hall all hint at similar issues with those characters . 
this is not a film of good people beset from without by great evil . 
the tragedy is not in their stars , but in themselves . 
the major actors , all of whom are required to play two or even three roles , perform extremely well . 
bierko , who will be familiar as the psycho from _the long kiss goodnight_ , is outstanding . 
d'onofrio as whitney , who plays a pivotal role in support , also turns in a good performance . 
the lovely gretchen mol , whose elegance , integrity , and determination suggest bergman in _casablanca_ , does a wonderful job . 
her voice , however , lacks the necessary weight at times . 
this could be because she was given the worst lines in a movie whose major weakness is the script . 
some minor flaws , hairline cracks in fine porcelain , appear in places . 
there are one or two instances of jerky editing . 
the script takes the edge off the film's climaxes . 
the atmosphere becomes too claustrophobic at times ( yet , there is a clue there too ) . 
one wonders if even after two decades , _blade runner_ is still casting its long shadow over sci-fi films . 
one can see a group of suits in their suite , waving their hands imperiously at directors like the emperor in _amadeus_ : "" make it more like_blade runner_ , you know , dark and rainy . "" 
_the thirteen floor_ is that rare exception among hollywood movies : a , rich , emotionally satisfying , intelligent sci-fi movie . 
and yet , ultimately , it proves the suits right . 
for when good sci-fi is made , where is the sf community turning out in droves to see it ? 
if we don't support great sf , who will ? 
"
"1","finding the courage to face life full-on is a difficult task . 
summoning up the audacity to fall in love is a harder job . 
if you're a total jerk like melvin udall is , the odds are even more against you . 
melvin ( jack nicholson ) is a successful romance author who is just the opposite of what you would expect someone in that profession to be . 
a solitary man hidden away in his new york apartment with no human interaction and not even a hint of ever having been in a passionate relationship , he avoids the outside world as much as possible . 
his obsessive-compulsive disorder rules his life as he uses several different bars of soap to wash his hands and refuses to step on a crack on the sidewalk . 
 ( there's a great scene when he has to cross a floor made of mosaic tiles -- _very_small_ mosaic tiles . ) 
melvin has some great lines . 
when his publisher's receptionist asks him how he writes women so well in his books , he responds "" i think of men and i take away reason and accountability . "" 
don't get him wrong , he's not merely a misogynist . 
setting his sights higher than that , he's also a homophobe , racist , anti-semite , xenophobe , animal-hater and intensely dislikes people who talk in metaphors . 
when we first meet him , he's busy dumping a neighbor's dog down the garbage chute . 
he's an equal opportunity bigot . 
he does venture outside his apartment every day to eat breakfast at a local cafe . 
melvin is such a grouchy curmudgeon that waitress carol connelly ( helen hunt ) is the only one willing to wait on him . 
and she's none too happy about it . 
when carol doesn't show up for work , melvin's routine is shot and he's determined to do something about it . 
tracking down her address , he shows up at her place begging her to come back to work so that he can eat breakfast . 
the fact that she's a poor single mother caring for a chronically ill son doesn't appear to phase him , he wants his food . 
much more upsetting is that his gay artist neighbor simon bishop ( greg kinnear ) is brutally attacked during a robbery . 
this doesn't upset melvin much ( "" don't worry , you'll be back on your knees in no time "" ) but when he is bullied into taking care of simon's dog , his life is turned topsy-turvey . 
melvin is sequestered because he's afraid of what's out there on the other side of his apartment door . 
he has to make sure it's ritualistically locked three times to keep the world on its proper side . 
when he brings the dog home he reluctantly grows fond of it , talking to it and taking it everywhere he goes . 
this little crack in his emotional armor opens him up . 
hiding behind his need for carol to return to work so she can serve him , he pays for a specialist to treat her son . 
he even develops a friendship with simon . 
all three people are heavily damaged . 
melvin has retreated from life in his apartment . 
carol has devoted herself to her son , convinced that she has to give up her life for him . 
simon is estranged from his parents and his friends disappear when he is hospitalized and his money runs out . 
a more unlikely trio to form relationships , you'd rarely see . 
and in the midst of it all , there are some wonderful moments . 
melvin is hilarious in his grouchiness and touching as he attempts to be nice . 
 "" you make me want to be a better man , "" he tells her . 
one of the best aspects is that even as he opens up , he is still a curmudgeon . 
carol , afraid that his monetary contribution to the wellness of her son hides a hidden agenda rushes over to his apartment in the rain to explain in no uncertain terms that she will never sleep with him . 
it only takes her a second to realize that she is delivering that statement while looking as if she just left a wet t-shirt contest . 
there's hardly anything left to say about jack nicholson . 
i don't remember ever seeing him in anything less than a stellar performance and his over-the-edge melvin is no disappointment . 
nicholson may be the best actor working today . 
hunt does a commendable job matching nicholson's energy . 
she isn't afraid to be seen as something less than a babe and her portrayal of exhausted run-down carol struggling with seemingly overwhelming obligations is top-notch . 
their on-screen chemistry is a bit odd . 
each does a wonderful job with the character , but together , there's something a little off . 
it's a minor problem : they do work well together , but that missing element is what prevents this from being a four-star film . 
director james l . brooks ( "" terms of endearment "" , "" broadcast news "" ) has a movie that is picking up awards by the bucketsful ( nominees for all the top golden globes , winners from the national board of review , inevitable oscars ) and has a winner on his hands . 
 "" as good as it gets "" isn't exactly the quality that the title says , but it's pretty darn close . 
 ( michael redman has written this column for over 22 years and as soon as he finishes this one , he's off to an annual 12 night celebration typically held in freezing weather during a snowstorm . 
this year it's in the sixties and raining . 
that wacky el nino . ) 
"
"1","bruce willis stars as malcolm , an award winning child psychologist who discovers one night that one of his former patients is still suffering from inner demons . 
the now grown man breaks into his apartment while he and his wife ( olivia williams from rushmore ) are celebrating his award , shoots malcolm in the stomach , then takes his own life . 
almost nine months later , malcolm discovers cole ( haley joel osment , in a brilliant performance ) , another young man afflicted with the same turmoil as his former patient . 
he takes on the child's case in the hope of redeeming himself for botching up the previous one , alienating his wife in the process . 
he soon discovers that they boy can see and speak to the dead , and his life becomes forever turned upside down . 
although the first hour is very slow , the sixth sense turns out to be a very powerful and moving film . 
i was expecting this film to be mercury rising 2 , but was astonished to discover an extremely well plotted out little thriller with an outstandingly satisfying ending . 
you'll find yourself mentally retracing your steps through the film to see if you actually saw what you think you did once the credits roll . 
i must give m . night shyamalan a lot of credit for a brilliantly written screenplay . 
the cast should also be given a lot of credit for making the movie as solid as it is . 
a lesser cast could have made this film a joke . 
bruce willis portrays his character perfectly , balancing his need to help cole and his agony over his strained relationship with his wife skillfully . 
haley joel osment shines as nine year old cole , showing patience in his character that few young actors these days can pull off . 
toni collette , looking markedly different from her pathetic character in muriel's wedding , gives a strong performance as cole's mother , who is trying to cope with both her son's "" illness "" and the passing of her mother . 
finally , olivia williams deftly portrays a woman having to struggle with a husband who's not around and flirtations with a co-worker that could lead to a begrudgingly accepted end . 
it's a shame that they show cole's abilities in the trailer , because the movie takes close to forty minutes to get around to doing the same , so we already know what's going on before most of the rest of the cast does . 
in retrospect though , the forty minute set-up is essential to enjoying the end of the film , so i have fewer complaints now then i did while i was watching the film . 
i'm glad that the run of teen-styled horror films has passed and filmmakers are starting to make more adult fare . 
films like this , the similarly themed stir of echoes , and countless others to be released later in the year should make for a pretty entertaining close to 1999 . 
[pg-13] 
"
"1","i suppose an argument could be made that toy story is one of those films that didn't need a sequel . 
beloved by kids and their parents , respected equally by mainstream america and geekish movie buffs , that first movie remains a landmark of recent history , the one that burst open the possibilities of computer animation and demonstrated through wild invention and giddy chutzpah just how complacent the disney animation machine had become in cranking out fluffy razzle-dazzle entertainment full of formula storytelling and banal songwriting . 
if disney was embarrassed at being beaten at its own game ( toy story was a smash hit of unexpected proportions , and one that caught the merchandising end of the business unaware as demand for action figures far outstripped supply ) , it didn't show , and as distributor and part-owner of the property , at least it had a piece of the action . 
toy story 2 was greenlighted as a direct-to-video project , disney's standard tactic for milking a few more bucks out of hot franchises without expending the effort of developing a proper feature film . 
as someone who doesn't believe sequels are necessarily a bad thing ( granted , they usually are a bad thing , but that's because they're made for the wrong reasons ) , i had to wonder what in the world they were thinking . 
fortunately , disney claimed to have been so knocked-out by early animation tests that they let pixar go full-speed ahead with a theatrical sequel . 
lucky thing , too -- like the first movie , this one is a joy to behold on the big screen , and technically , it improves on its predecessor on just about every level . 
 ( from a business standpoint , the end credits show that the new creations are copyrighted by pixar , while the previous film's elements are shared between pixar and disney , a sign of the production house's new cachet in hollywood . ) 
visually , the main shortcoming of this fully computer-generated movie is that human figures are still rendered relatively poorly , making them look a little creepy . 
fortunately , that eerie unreality fits in perfectly with the perspective of the movie , where the secret world of toys is more immediate , and arguably more attractive , than the world of the humans who surround them . 
as before , the story is predicated on the premise that the toys scattered around the bedroom of a little boy named andy -- and , indeed , all the toys scattered around the bedrooms of all little children -- come to life in the child's absence . 
while the toys scamper about and chatter endlessly among themselves , the real joy of a toy's life is to mean something to its owner . 
one of the subjects of this new film is the sadness of toys that have been broken or abandoned , left on a shelf to gather dust , and another is the sort of emotional limbo inhabited by toys that are mere prizes of covetous collectors . 
most often , those toys are packed away in dark spaces , safe from sunlight and humidity , and often they're not even removed from their packaging . 
imagine what a chip that would put on your shoulder , and you'll understand the attitudes of the collector's items that show up in this movie . 
sheriff woody ( voiced by a note-perfect tom hanks ) , the longtime favorite among andy's toys who was challenged in the previous go-round by the arrival of flashy-new-thing action figure buzz lightyear ( tim allen ) , suffers an injury early in the film , when andy tugs too hard on his arm and pulls a seam apart , revealing the stuffing inside . 
this accident catalyzes some uneasieness among the toys , who know too well that a broken toy is often a forgotten toy , and a forgotten toy is one that loses its reason for existence . 
those anxieties are crystallized when andy's mom tears through his living room , collecting old toys for a yard sale . 
and there's an ironic twist to the tale , as woody winds up being stolen by an avid toy collector who needs exactly that quaint cowboy figure to complete a set that he hopes to sell to a japanese toy museum for a sizable sum . 
the rest of andy's toys , who owe him quite a debt , resolve to rescue him . 
that this film manages to turn a box marked "" 25 cents "" into a symbol of doom , or to make its screed against the retention of collectible toys by wrongheaded profiteers fuel for a metaphysical dilemma , is a testament to its skill at metaphor , seamlessly translating the hopes and fears of our real world into that of the toys . 
operating on this level of abstraction , toy story 2 tackles some mighty heavy issues without once preaching or veering into pretentiousness . 
 ( the worst i can say is that randy newman seems to have reserved his sappiest lyric in years for sarah mclachlan , who stops the movie cold by singing it at just about the halfway mark . ) 
sometimes i think toy story 2 tries too hard . 
there's somewhat less of the seat-of-the-pants loopiness that energized the first film , allowing it to surprise and excite on a near-constant basis , and more philosophizing about toys , collectors , the nature of happiness and the meaning of life . 
while that leads to fewer bellylaughs , it does make way for more elaborate humor and an uncommonly ambitious reflexivity that asks the toys to consider their own status as commodities that move in and out of fashion . 
 ( just don't ask why andy's favorite toy is based on a tv series that was canceled in 1957 . ) 
where else in mainstream movies do you get such an awesome moment as the one where buzz arrives at al's toy barn to find it stocked to the gills with his doppelgangers , buzz lightyear action figures ? 
forget the self-congratulatory science fiction of the matrix -- this is a fundamental mind-bender for buzz , and the audience shares his humility and wonderment at the sight . 
here , as in the roughly concurrent scene where woody watches tapes of the howdy doodyish children's tv show that originated his character , we see our protagonists come face-to-face with god . 
in sly ways , then , toy story 2 can be read as a film about mortality , a metaphorical consideration of aging and death . 
significantly , the film's very first sequence concludes with a grim shocker that had our opening-night crowd in a near-uproar . 
and toward the end , when buzz and woody speculate on how long they have before andy grows up and discards his old toys , one of them observes , with an alacrity both inspirational and heartbreaking , that it will be fun while it lasts . 
so toy story 2 joins the tradition of children's stories , largely neglected of late , that say something real about the inevitable joys and tragedies of existence . 
what's really striking is that both toy story films ( and , to a lesser degree , pixar's a bug's life ) are kids' movies with wit and sophistication to shame most of their ostensibly adult counterparts , not to mention whatever piece of tot-friendly eye-candy is due from the disney dream factory any given summer . 
it puts one in mind of the glory days of chuck jones and the old gang at warner bros . animation . 
i'm not sure lasseter and his pals at pixar will ever operate at quite that level of purely visual invention -- they love traditional narrative too much -- but , boy , it makes me wonder what they might come up with next . 
-------------------------------------------------------------- directed by john lasseter , colin brady , ash brannon , and lee unkrich written by lasseter , brannon , peter docter , andrew stanton , rita hsaio , doug chamberlain , and chris webb cinematography by sharon calahan starring ( voices ) tom hanks , tim allen , and joan cusack usa , 1999 
theatrical aspect ratio : 1 . 85 : 1 -------------------------------------------------------------- 
"
"1","tone alone cannot sustain a film , but it can go a long way . 
if i can find myself lost in the time and place of a story , it scores immediate style points . 
when that tone is backed up by an outstanding story and great acting , the effect can be described best by an adjective i do not use lightly : "" literary . "" 
what's eating gilbert grape ? 
is such a film . 
it's a rich , memorable and stunningly acted story of desire colliding with responsibility , staged in a manner which many viewers might find too prosaic , but which insinuated itself into my imagination with its confidence . 
gilbert grape ( johnny depp ) is a young man living in rural endora , iowa , facing incredible responsibilities . 
as the man of the house since his father's suicide , gilbert must support the family by working at the local grocery store . 
he also must watch over his mentally handicapped brother arnie ( leonardo dicaprio ) and help care for his extremely overweight mother ( darlene cates ) . 
gilbert seems destined to spend the rest of his life in the small town until the arrival in endora of becky ( juliette lewis ) , a free spirit passing through with her grandmother when their truck breaks down . 
as he spends time with becky , gilbert begins to think about all the things he is missing . 
slowly his resentment builds , until he realizes that he can no longer live his entire life for other people . 
director lasse hallstrom ( my life as a dog ) and legendary cinematographer sven nykvist create a magnificent visual backdrop for peter hedges' screenplay , based on his own novel . 
endora is a town on the edge of the world represented by the giant foodmart , a tiny insular community where everyone knows everyone else . 
the midwestern sunsets and sprawling fields are beautifully photographed , and the atmosphere of the town is intensely real . 
minor characters , like crispin glover as the town's mortician , are vividly realized , and there are echoes of the last picture show in mary steenburgen's desperately unhappy housewife . 
one of the most perfectly realized scenes focuses on the grand opening of a burger franchise , attended by the entire town and accompanied by the off-key high school band . 
not a single note in the depiction of endora rang false . 
the same can be said of the character of gilbert . 
it's testimony to the precision involved in his creation that he came together completely with one perfectly placed line , when becky responds to gilbert's description of his father with , "" i knew someone like that once . "" 
gilbert is a man harboring an ever-growing bitterness about where he finds himself in life , a bitterness which reveals itself in moments of surprising cruelty . 
in one scene , he allows local children to look at his mother through their window , displaying her like a side show attraction . 
his entire life seems to be mocked by arnie's repeated chants of , "" we're not going anywhere , "" but instead of expressing his dissatisfaction he lets his anger simmer , and it becomes clear that he is following in his father's footsteps in this regard . 
johnny depp expertly demonstrates the tension central to gilbert by playing everything below the surface , but he never gives in to one-dimensional blankness or simply regurgitates his naif roles in benny & joon and edward scissorhands . 
depp's performance is overshadowed , however , by leonardo dicaprio's astonishing oscar-nominated supporting work as arnie . 
he puts to shame such big name actors as john malkovich and dustin hoffman , whose mentally challenged characters never seemed completely real . 
dicaprio is perfect to the last twitch and squeal , and anyone who has ever spent time with mentally challenged kids will be hard-pressed to spot a flaw . 
darlene cates , a first-time actor , brings real pain to her scenes as gilbert's tortured mother , and laura harrington and mary kate schellhardt are solid as gilbert's sisters . 
only juliette lewis doesn't quite click , playing a critical role with her now familiar dopey drone and too little genuine spark . 
gilbert grape does seem to drift into its conclusion , but it never lost me . 
thanks to a lovingly created setting and a marvelous cast , this 1993 release proves well worth the wait . 
"
"1","hollywood has a . 750 
batting average with elmore leonard adaptations . 
last year's touch was ill-conceived and just plain odd but get shorty , jackie brown and now out of sight all were highly entertaining movies . 
steven soderburgh , master of sex , lies and videotape , now adds crime to his repertoire in this tale of bank robbery , prison , double-crossing , uncut diamonds and , oh yeah , true love . 
george clooney is the protagonist , a risky choice after such duds as batman and robin and the peacemaker , but for once i didn't want to slap the taste out of his mouth . 
he plays his role in out of sight as the suave cary grant-type perfected in hitchcock movies , the kind of guy to whom crime is just a profession like any other . 
nowhere present is clooney's usual ain't-i-sexy sneer -- there's just enough leftover lightheartedness to fit in with the leonard style . 
clooney is definitely a perfect successor to john travolta in get shorty . 
clooney plays a man who's robbed about 200 banks without ever using a gun . 
in the opening scene , he walks into one bank and robs it not only with ease but with charm . 
of course , he gets caught , so it's not all good . 
it's while doing time in a florida prison that clooney learns of one rich inmate's ( albert brooks in a frightful bald wig ) collection of diamonds in detroit . 
clooney and cohort ving rhames plan the score , while protection artist and fight promoter don cheadle begins rival plans . 
meanwhile , there's jennifer lopez . 
unintentionally funny in selena and intentionally funny in anaconda , she's finally graduated to a worthy role as the u . s . marshal who happens to be driving up to the jail on the night clooney escapes . 
rhames is waiting to give him a ride in a stolen car , and lopez makes it a threesome , her hostage ass locked in a trunk with clooney . 
he's covered in dirt and has a gun to her neck , and it's a little cramped in there , but they manage to make a love connection anyway , probably because it's a movie . 
the relationship between clooney and lopez is at the heart of the movie , and one of the details that elevates it beyond your normal noir-ish crime story . 
the leonard movies are more obsessed with dialogue than crime , and this is no exception . 
although they're not really germane to the plot , lopez's relationship with her father ( dennis farina of get shorty ) , rhames' relationship with his christian sister ( you could call her sister christian ) and a pop-in cameo by michael keaton all lend extra class to a movie already full of it . 
out of sight spans at least three years but has a non-linear structure , focusing on the jailbreak / brooks score and flashing back to earlier times . 
this is a movie with a brain , as smooth and calculated as the clooney and lopez characters themselves . 
the entire cast does the material justice -- clooney and lopez coming into their own , and rhames and cheadle cementing their positions as two of my favorites . 
here's hoping future leonard adaptations continue to carry the torch . 
serving america for almost 1/20th of a century ! 
"
"1","synopsis : rumored to be about a true person , the story of mulan has circulated in oral tradition for over a thousand years , and has inspired operas , literature , and even coinage . 
 ( since 1984 , china has been issuing annual gold and silver coin sets commemorating famous historical figures ; the 1992 set includes mulan . ) 
in the ballad of mulan ( written in the 5th or 6th century ) , an imperial edict by the khan ( emperor ) orders men from each family to be drafted into the army to defend china . 
a girl's parents hear sighing , and think that their daughter mulan ( the name means magnolia ) is dreaming of boys , but actually she's dreading what horrors might befall her old infirm father if he were to be drafted off to battle . 
mulan bravely runs away , masquerading as a boy , to serve in the army instead of her father . 
ten thousand miles and twelve years of brutal war later , the army finally returns in triumph . 
the emperor wants to reward mulan's valor with a prestigious position in government , but she declines , accepts a horse , and returns home quietly to don her true clothes . 
mulan's old army buddies visit and get the shock of their lives when they find out that mulan is actually a woman . 
the disney animated feature mulan is similar to the ballad story , only it adds a modern character for comic relief : mushu the dragon ( eddie murphy ) . 
in disney's mulan , when a fierce army of invading huns threatens to overrun peaceful china the emperor orders one man from each family to be conscripted into the army . 
old mr . fa ( soon-tek oh ) is handicapped and has no son ; he has only his spirited young daughter mulan ( ming-na wen ) . 
fearing for her father's life , the courageous mulan secretly cuts her hair , disguises herself as a man , and sneaks off to serve in the army in her father's stead . 
meanwhile mushu , the disgraced and demoted guardian dragon of the fa family , has been reduced to the size of a squirrel and the status of incense burner . 
 ( his only duty is to ring a gong . ) 
mushu hits upon a plan to redeem himself and regain his guardian status by helping the disguised mulan to become a macho male warrior hero . 
with the help of mushu , a horse , and a lucky cricket , can army recruit mulan save china and bring honor to the fa family ? 
opinion : east meets west . 
i know a chef in santa fe that does this sort of magic ; he combines asian culinary influences from the west coast with latin american from down south and european from the atlantic to concoct new creations that hit just the right combination of flavors . 
from their state of the art animation studio in orlando , disney is hoping to work the same kind of east/west magic with mulan . 
i mean , what would you say if i told you that a new movie featured tang dynasty art , with donny osmond singing , ming-na wen acting , and eddie murphy playing a chinese dragon that makes pop references to batman and the reverend jessie jackson ? 
yet this is the case in the disney's re-interpretation of the familiar chinese classic . 
the end result is spectacular ; mulan is one of disney's best movies ever . 
personally , i'm also glad to see the detestable american stereotype of the weak-willed subservient asian woman take a beating : mulan is portrayed as a normal , if spirited , compassionate gal capable of taking the initiative . 
mulan is more than just eastern graphics and faces combined with westernized pop and disney . 
kids of any age will like the family themes , and will understand the good guys versus bad guys thing . 
and adolescent and preteen girls can appreciate the romance factor , while the boys admire the battles . 
and adults can admire those male/female nuances as well as the interplay between traditional notions of family , honor , and duty with industrial age notions of romantic love , gumption , and questioning . 
but even the tiniest details reveal quality . 
the movie's art supervisors spent three weeks in china researching the right look : negative spaces , positive detail , period clothing , and graphic designs typical of the time and place . 
computers were used for crowd scenes of up to 30 , 000 people , and a special program called 'attila' was used for a spectacular sequence involving 2000 attacking huns on horseback . 
and singers osmond and salonga are at the top of their game . 
balance is crucial . 
a movie about a chuckling lone dragon played by eddie murphy might not be disney's cup of tea , but if you use the character as a comic sidekick to balance a determined and spirited heroine , then , pow ! 
the dream team . 
by the same token , a tale about a girl in the army might be a sober exercise in filial piety by itself , but toss the dragon in there and you've got enough wahoo individualism for a light hearted disney romp . 
it's rare that a movie can seamlessly combine elements from both east and west , old and young , male and female into a cohesive and entertaining whole , but mulan hits the universal bullseye . 
it's movie for any age , creed , gender , or color . 
"
"1","if you've ever perused my college comedy diary "" another year in the life of a nerd "" ( i never run out of cheap plugs ) , you know i didn't get along with my first-semester roommate too well . 
in fact , during the three-week period between thanksgiving and christmas break , i said a total of four sentences to him . 
so when i saw in the residence hall cable listings a movie called roommates , i envisioned 90 minutes of conflict between a couple of bickering young adults trapped in a 10 x 13 foot dorm room . 
then i saw that the star of roommates is peter falk . 
scratch that idea . 
but i still say someone should film the story of two college roommates whose relationship is less than ideal . 
of course , in my case it would be a silent picture . 
even without the college element , i still decided to watch roommates because i had absolutely nothing to do , unless you count studying for final exams ( and who does ? ) . 
i'm glad i did . 
peter falk's performance was actually what made the movie . 
and this is a guy i never considered a real actor , more like someone who went around in a trenchcoat solving prescripted mysteries . 
falk pleasantly surprised me here , permanently earning my respect , so all you "" columbo "" fans who think i live to insult the guy can just falk off . 
falk plays rocky , a 107-year-old polish baker who raises his grandson after both the kid's parents die . 
the movie begins with the mom's death and the son moving in with his grandparents . 
after a couple stops along the son's journey to manhood , roommates progresses to the present day , with the grandson a surgeon and rocky in a condemned house he refuses to leave . 
the surgeon reluctantly offers the only possible solution -- rocky will have to move into his place , the basement of a building rented by a group of chinese students ( "" communists ! "" ) . 
the movie spans nine more years of rocky's relationship with his grandson , and the trials posed when the grandson meets and falls in love with--gasp--a woman , and starts spending all his time with her . 
so , in his grandson's absence , rocky turns his pursuits to professional boxing , achieveing the world heavyweight title in a climactic fight with apollo creed . . . 
or am i confusing movie plots again ? 
roommates has an almost epic feel to it , covering several generations of a family with one fiesty immigrant who refuses to die . 
death , though , knocks at the door of almost every other major character in the the movie . 
roommates has about as many casualties as the first halloween . 
the number can't be counted on one hand , unless of course you're the victim of some hideous genetic mutation . 
and you can probably guess who says farewell to planet earth at the end of the movie ( no , not duran duran ) . 
i won't come out and say it . 
instead , i'll just sit here and hum "" eye of the tiger "" until each and every one of you figures it out . 
roommates plays on all the major emotions . 
it knows when to make you laugh and when to make you cry . 
movies that can perfectly mix comedy and drama are always hits with the audience , even though this one bombed at the theaters . 
my point ? 
there are no absolutes . 
or , another possible point , peter falk just isn't such a great box office draw . 
either way , this is still a good movie and you should give it a chance like i did , whether you hate your roommate or not . 
"
"1","capsule : the director of cure brings a weird and very complex concept to the screen . 
one viewing will not be enough to understand fully the premise of pulse . 
the idea is something about ghosts and the internet . 
the film has an amazing apocalyptic style . 
 , +2 ( -4 to +4 ) 
perhaps the most disturbing ( and disturbed ? ) 
filmmaker in the world is kiyoshi kurosawa . 
his films all seem to have one style , bleak . 
the worlds he creates are terrifying and cold . 
little known in the us to date , his films deliver the kind of horror that so many of our filmmakers promise and are unable to deliver . 
most of his ideas are fresh and at the same time morbid . 
his 1998 film cure , with one of his niftiest ideas , is just now getting a sadly limited release in the us and hopefully enough people will see it that his name will soon be one to conjure with . 
cure is probably his classic . 
last year he released seance , a remake of seance on a wet afternoon . 
that was perhaps a miscalculation inserting supernatural elements into a non-supernatural story . 
pulse is kurosawa back on form . 
taguchi , a young computer expert , is late with his delivery of some important software . 
two co-workers go to his apartment and find it a dismal dark affair in spite of his computer equipment . 
taguchi , acting very strangely , lets his friends look for the missing software . 
meanwhile he slips behind a plastic curtain . 
when he fails to respond to calls his friends follow him behind the curtain and discover he has hanged himself . 
if that was not horror enough the body seems to disappear leaving just a strange dark mildew-like spot on the wall . 
taguchi's computer seems to have been infected with some kind of computer virus . 
people whose computer gets the virus seem superficially to die via suicide . 
but they are not entirely dead . 
their spirits seem to remain present somehow in the real world and on the internet . 
people who get the computer virus are asked if they want to see a ghost . 
if they say yes , they seem to be able to see real time images of the spirits still nearby somehow . 
the computer shows them impossible images of ghosts in their own rooms as seen from cameras that do not exist . 
this is all somehow connected to heaven and hell somehow filling up and overflowing "" like a computer disk . "" 
instead the dead seem to be staying on earth and inhabiting computer viruses . 
there is some sort of passage between worlds having something to do with doors marked with red tape and strange electronic disturbances on computers . 
leave it to kurosawa to find a new kind of death . 
this is a film that has more weird ideas piled together than lifeforce and somehow kurosawa makes the film all work . 
it may not totally convey his message of isolation and its parallels to death , but whatever it does convey is nightmarish . 
kurosawa , who directs his own screenplay , ties his story into the real world with some familiar and accurate computer discussion . 
frequently the plot is advanced with character hunches being assumed to be fact . 
his plotting is frequently hard to follow and always very strange . 
junichiro hayashi , the cinematographer who recently has been doing all of kurosawa's films , creates a dark , cold , and gloomy tone . 
images are obscured by semi-lighting or are behind plastic curtain . 
scenes are not milked for their horror the way american exploitation films might . 
people are shot with guns but there is little if any blood in evidence . 
seeing black silhouettes on computer screens is not immediately scary . 
kurosawa is not going for and easy visual shock , but a deeper metaphysical dread . 
of any horror filmmaker in the world , kiyoshi kurosawa is the one to watch . 
i rate this metaphysical look at isolation a 7 on the 0 to 10 scale and a +2 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"1","when i first heard that disney's next animated feature was going to be tarzan , i was almost horrified . 
i was worried that disney was going to make another hercules ( sorry , jerk-ules ) . 
that effort was too overloaded with comedy ( and the hero was too boastful and pompous to be considered a sympathetic hero ) , and , after viewing it to this day , i find it a disgrace for disney animation . 
when i saw the trailers , i was thinking "" hmm . . . 
this isn't bad at all . 
this just might have potential . "" 
when i bought the soundtrack , i was really quite surprised at how different it sounded from most disney features . 
i have never really heard of phil collins , nor have i heard of mark mancina , so i was wondering , how would these two make this disney flick spin ? 
i was pleasantly surprised : the music is top-notch . 
phil collins' songs are terrific , percussion-heavy pieces of work that seem to break the formula for typical disney songs . 
the score from mark mancina was also neat ; it reminded me a bit of the lion king , but it was more original . 
so , the soundtrack wasn't bad at all , considering it was by two people i am not familiar with . 
this film could be good . . . 
but will it be ? 
when i finally went to see it ( on opening day , as i tend to do with most disney animated features ) , my question was answered , in a complete turnabout of expectations for me : disney's tarzan is surprisingly decent . 
the story starts out with tarzan's parents surviving a shipwreck and finding a home on an island where apes live in peace . 
however , one day , a vicious leopard , sabor , attacks and kills tarzan's parents , leaving him ( at this time , a baby ) alone-until kala of the apes rescues him . 
kala wants to raise the child as her own ( she lost hers previously to sabor ) , but her mate , kerchak is not too sure . 
 "" it's not our kind , "" he says . 
he agrees , though , to let her take care of little tarzan , but "" that doesn't make him my son . "" 
tarzan grows up , vowing to be "" the best ape ever "" , but no matter how hard he tries or what he does ( at the guidance of his hilarious ape friend , terk ) , he just can't convince kerchak that he is one of the apes , even when he defeats sabor in a battle . 
one day , a new animal shows up : humans . 
this is where jane comes into the picture . 
she is on an expedition with her father ( professor porter ) , and a despicable hunter ( clayton ) searching for gorillas . 
tarzan rescues her when she is chased by baboons , and soon they get to know each other . 
even though tarzan falls in love with jane , this causes things to go wrong . 
clayton tricks tarzan into taking him , jane , and porter to see the apes , who are convinced that he has betrayed them . 
worse , clayton has plotted to send the gorillas to london for money . 
will tarzan find out which family he belongs to and save the apes ? 
i'm not gonna tell you , sorry . 
you're gonna have to see for yourself . 
and see it you should ; the animation is , as always , top notch , particularly when tarzan goes soaring through the trees ( read that , skateboarding ) . 
the deep canvas computer generated effect adds an authentic feeling to the jungle which tarzan lives in . 
in fact , it seems similar to the computer imagery/cel animation combination in rival disney animted films , such as fox's anastasia and dreamworks' prince of egypt . 
could it be that disney was actually taking ideas from their rivals ? 
the casting is fairly good . 
tony goldwyn is emotionally believeable as tarzan ( and to my relief , the animators have succeeded in not making him another hercules . 
nicely done ) , and glenn close is wonderful as kala ( she has a beautiful singing voice , too , by the way ) . 
lance henrikson as kerchak somewhat reminds me of robby benson's beast voice , which makes him all the more ferocious and gripping . 
minnie driver had me a little worried at first as the voice of jane . 
i thought she had the most annoying voice in the whole film ( when i first saw the trailers ) , but when i saw the film , i didn't have a problem with her . 
i take back my insult on driver . 
it's nice to hear nigel hawthorne do another voice for a disney animated feature ( he was fflewdurr flamm in disney's most underrated classic , the black cauldron ) ; he is funny and delightful as professor porter . 
on the villiany side of the voices , brian blessed ( the guy who did boss nass in star wars : episode i-the phantom menace ) brings a pompous , and later on vicious , voice to the sinister clayton . 
he might not be the strongest character in the film ( he's just a plain bad guy , nothing else ) , but blessed's vocal work contributes greatly . 
but if there is any voice that i think steals the whole show , it should be rosie o'donnell , who is hilariously funny as terk . 
she also has a fiesty attitude ( "" i'm gonna kill ya ! "" 
she says , more than once ) . 
i almost sung along with her during one of the film's best moments , where the apes make a mess of the human's camp , via song , er , scatting "" shoo-be-doo , da-be-dah "" . 
i can see why she wanted to have a rock song for the film , she's a good singer . 
not that she was the only funny character in the film , though . 
wayne knight ( who played stan in space jam ) gives a whimsically funny style to tantor , an elephant who is especially worried about stepping into "" un-sanitary "" water . 
 ( thankfully , there is no real sound of flatuence-that would have killed the picture ) . 
the songs , as i said before , are decent , mostly sung by collins . 
this sets a new standard for disney animated films because for the first time , the characters do not sing . 
i tolerate musical numbers from characters a lot more than some other guys would , but i found this to be a nice change of pace . 
the story does have elements of comedy in it , but they also load it with strong dramatic touches , which makes this film far better than the unbelieveably uninspired hercules . 
if there is anything disappointing about tarzan , it might be the omission of the 'n sync version of "" trashing the camp "" from the film . 
i heard it on the soundtrack , and wondered where it was going to be . 
i was upset that it wasn't , because i had thought of taking a few friends of mine who like 'n sync to see tarzan . 
oh , well . . . 
overall , i was enthralled with tarzan . 
i wouldn't hold it high the way i do with mulan or the hunchback of notre dame ( my all-time favorite disney classics ) , but this film deserves a high place among disney's greatest achievements . 
i give a nod to disney for following up their spectacular * * * * * masterpiece , mulan , with this great animated adaption of egar rice burrough's tarzan . 
"
"1","the opening crawl tells us that the galaxy is in turmoil over the taxation of trade routes , and the greedy trade federation has used it's armada of powerful space battleships to blockade the planet naboo . 
we soon find that the federation plans to invade the planet with an enormous army of warrior robots and force naboo's ruler , the young queen amidala ( natalie portman ) to sign a treaty giving the federation control . 
however , the galactic republic has sent jedi knights qui-gon jinn ( liam neeson ) and obi-wan kenobi ( ewan mcgregor ) as emissaries to the federation in order to negotiate for the ending of the blockade . 
no sooner do they arrive than the federation leaders are instructed via holographic transmission by a mysterious cloaked figure to destroy the jedi , and the first battle begins . 
it seems that for me and thousands of people like me , the love for george lucas's trilogy of star wars movies has only grown over time . 
we're the fans , not the freaks . 
we won't go dressing up like darth vader ( although you have to admit those imperial uniforms are pretty darn cool ) , and we won't incorporate lines from the script in our everyday conversations ( not all the time , anyway ) , but if someone wants to challenge us to a little trivia contest , we're throwing down . 
all right , stop looking at me like that . 
we have been faithfully and patiently waiting . 
waiting for this movie ever since the end credits of return of the jedi started to roll . 
you see , the trilogy is not just a set of movies , but a religion of sorts to we , the faithful disciples , and the phantom menace is tantamount to the second coming of the messiah . 
unfortunately , it is not our savior . 
for weeks beforehand , i was going around telling people that this movie had better be damned good - stupendously good - miraculously good . 
anything less and it'll be the biggest disappointment of the century . 
i didn't want the doomsaying prophecy to come true , really i didn't , but this film nevertheless fails to reach the pinnacles of filmmaking . 
character development is virtually nonexistent . 
with the possible exception of qui-gon , most of the film's characters seem left with nothing to do but go through the motions . 
none seem very affected by their experiences , and few even show any passion at all . 
contrast this with the horribly irritating comic relief we are nearly continuously subjected to in the form of jar jar binks , a creature belonging to a race which lives in underwater cities on naboo , in precarious symbiosis with the land dwellers led by amidala . 
jar jar's life is saved by qui-gon early in the film , and travels with our heroes for the sole reason of making us laugh ( or supposedly so ) . 
his speech mannerisms are so "" cute-ified "" that i couldn't understand a third of what he was saying , and the slapstick he performed was just distracting . 
his head gets caught in an electronic field , his foot gets caught in the stirrup of some large beast , he describes being in trouble as "" deep doo doo , "" and even manages to step in some of the same while walking around in mos eisley spaceport . 
therein lies a key difference between this film and one of its predecessors . 
in star wars , we had obi-wan telling us mos eisley was a "" wretched hive of scum and villainy . "" 
in the phantom menace , we get doo doo . 
the films of the trilogy took me away from my everyday life and immersed me in a story "" a long time ago in a galaxy far , far away . . . . "" 
this film , on the other hand , constantly reminds me that it's only a movie by including situations and phrases that are so uniquely modern american that they seem incredibly out of place and serve to jerk the viewer from the experience . 
perhaps the most blatant offense occurs during a scene where young anakin skywalker enters into a pod racing competition ( it's kind of like chariot racing with large engines instead of horses ) , and there are a couple of commentators in a press box delivering indy 500-like play by play . 
i liked the pod race ; it was really exciting and ratcheted the tension , but when the heck did lucas think up the idea of putting in the sportscasters ? 
the race would have been even more exciting without the distraction . 
this aspect , coupled with the emphasis on humor simply baffled me . 
i suppose one may say that lucas was trying to appeal to the younger viewer , but would more intelligent scenes and dialog hurt this appeal at all ? 
didn't millions of youngsters still go back to see the original star wars in 1977 over and over again ? 
didn't the action figures still sell like hotcakes ? 
of course they did , and it's only poor judgment that allows the most-eagerly awaited film in history to be marred by pandering to children who would still have enjoyed a film with more appeal for adults . 
one aspect that will appeal broadly , however , is the use of special effects . 
the people at lucas's industrial light and magic , the world's premiere effects house , outdid themselves in providing seamless integration of computer-generated images and real-life footage . 
some of the scenes have to be seen to be believed , especially the shots of a land battle between the federation's robot army and jar jar's countrymen . 
the space battles are also impressive , although improved over past efforts by only subtle margins to the casual observer . 
this , however , is a testament to the work which ilm produced two decades ago and still holds up well today . 
john williams is back , of course , providing a score for the film as only he can . 
his music is pervasive throughout , as rousing and as dramatic as ever , always serving to punctuate scenes noticeably and appropriately . 
since this film is supposed to be the first installment in a nine-episode story ( star wars , the empire strikes back and return of the jedi being episodes four , five and six , respectively ) , the phantom menace has the daunting task of setting up the origins of several characters we know already , in addition to those with whom we unfamiliar . 
as a result , attention to history and characterization was spread a little thin . 
it would have been nice to get more in depth with yoda and obi-wan , for example , but given the fact that there were several new characters to cover , it is understandable that some of the development has been left for the next two films . 
one of the new characters is darth maul , hailed as the new villain with as much hype as marketing forces could muster prior to this film's release . 
in spite of the hype , darth maul is a character which almost didn't have to be in the film , his role is so insignificant . 
he has maybe three spoken lines ( believe it or not , a second actor voices the character ) and the rest of the time just scowls and looks mean . 
with that working against him , he never has a chance at being interesting and instead ends up an utter disappointment . 
lucas seems to have wanted to develop the spiritual nature of the star wars universe , something which has been prominent throughout . 
however , he does so largely by paralleling the star wars spirituality with the bible , offering an easy out for story-writing and once again bringing the viewer back to planet earth with a real-life connection . 
oddly , while trying to capitalize on spirituality , lucas at the same time introduces the fact that mastery of the force is dependent upon having little force-loving parasites in your body's cells . 
this only serves to de-mystify the workings of the force a few notches by offering a scientific connection . 
don't let me mislead you too far . 
the phantom menace , by most standards , is a good film . 
it contains a lot of visual treats , sets the stage for an epic story , gives us a bit of excitement here and there , and even allows us to revisit some of our old friends . 
it's just that when held up to it's predecessors ( and to not do so would be unrealistic ) , this film simply pales . 
"
"1","in december of 1996 , a little movie called "" scream , "" was released , became a box-office smash , and resurrected films targeted at teens . 
first , it was teen slasher movies that were the big fad ( both "" scream "" movies , "" i know what you did last summer , "" "" urban legend , "" etc . ) , but just recently , the popularity has switched over to the teen comedy genre ( a 'la '80s john hughes ) , starting with last june's "" can't hardly wait . "" 
it may be the first week of april in 1999 , but so far this year we have been given a movie aimed at the 25-and-under market almost every single week : "" varsity blues , "" "" jawbreaker , "" "" cruel intentions , "" "" simply irresistible , "" "" the rage : carrie 2 , "" and "" the mod squad . "" 
coming april 9 are two more of this type : "" never been kissed "" and "" go , "" and on april 23 , we've got the teen satire "" election "" and the teen horror-comedy "" idle hands . "" 
jeesh ! 
out of all of these moves , however , the one that is most similar to the latest incarnation , "" 10 things i hate about you , "" is this past january's mediocre , ho-hum "" she's all that . "" 
although similar in plotting ( ok , darn near identical ) , "" 10 things i hate about you , "" a modern-day version of shakespeare's "" the taming of the shrew "" ( "" she's all that "" got its inspiration from "" pygmalion "" ) , is an infinitely superior film in every department , from the smart direction by first-time feature director gil junger to the charming and well-written screenplay by karen mccullah lutz and kirsten smith to the striking ensemble cast , who give the best group of performances in a teen comedy since 1985's "" the breakfast club . "" 
and to top it all off , in the inevitable climax set at the prom , at least we didn't have to once again suffer through a goofy , inappropriate dance sequence ( who could forget , or want to remember , for that matter , this ludicrous development in "" she's all that ? "" ) . 
the day wide-eyed , shy new student cameron james ( joseph gordon-levitt ) starts school at seattle-based padua high , he is swept away at the sight of the beautiful and popular sophomore , bianca stratford ( larisa oleynik ) . 
although he doesn't know french , he purposefully learns some of it just so he can tutor her , but finds that her paranoid gynecologist father ( larry miller ) won't allow her to date until her bitter , unconventional older sister , kat ( julia stiles ) , a senior , decides to . 
kat , of course , has sworn off the likes of boys , but cameron sets out to find someone that will be the perfect match for her , which is exactly what he finds in the form of the rebellious patrick verona ( heath ledger ) . 
complicating matters , cameron's dorky friend , michael ( david krumholtz ) , decides to use a wealthy jock , joey ( andrew keegan ) , who also has his sights set on bianca , as a pawn so that he will pay patrick to get kat to go out with him , and then cameron hopes to steal bianca away from joey . 
as you can see , "" 10 things i hate about you "" includes a huge number of characters , some of which i haven't even mentioned , such as kat's shakespeare-obsessed friend , mandella ( susan may pratt ) and bianca's materialistic comrade , chastity ( gabrielle union ) . 
at a short , but well-used running time of 98 minutes , all of the characters are perfectly handled , satisfyingly developed , and , for the most part , are not treated as caricatures ( another flaw of "" she's all that , "" where the bad guys ( and gals ) ran around constantly saying , "" you're vapor "" ) . 
since i could sympathize with the realistic depictions of the central characters , and since many of the comedic and dramatic scenes were surprisingly effective , i got completely caught up in all of the relationships and was thoroughly entertained . 
aside from a good screenplay , it's the performances that can make or break a movie , and director junger has really hit the jackpot . 
aside from joseph gordon-levitt ( "" 3rd rock from the sun "" ) , who gives his strongest performance to date here , none of the actors are that well-known , but it is this aspect that brings a particular freshness to the proceedings . 
as the main character of kat , julia stiles ( last seen in the miniseries "" the '60s "" ) is marvelous and always believable , and certainly has a bright future ahead of her . 
even though it is her role that is initially the most difficult and hard-edged , it was easy to identify with kat's way of thinking ( she is against the silly tradition of the prom and loves reading sylvia plath ) , and i completely admired her individuality . 
no one , i think , could have portrayed her as perfectly as stiles does . 
heath ledger , as the infamous bad-boy of the town , injects much life into patrick , and has a lot of chemistry with stiles . 
one other actor of note is larisa oleynik who , with the help of screenwriters lutz and smith , is able to turn bianca into a person with multi-dimensions , even though she is accurately self-centered at the on-set . 
in one truthful scene , cameron angrily asks her if she has always been so selfish , and bianca grudgingly realizes that yes , she has . 
one off-beat element of the film , and a source of some hearty laughs , is the way that the school's staff act , which is strikingly unformal . 
allison janney , as the guidance counselor ms . perky , who is writing a trashy harlequin romance novel , is comic dynamite , as is daryl "" chill "" mitchell as the english teacher , who reads shakespeare to the class in rap and , at one point , sends kat to the office because , for once , she actually thinks one of his assignments is really good . 
although there are a few cheap laughs that are thrown into the film near the beginning , most of it actually works , especially in the humorous and witty dialogue exchanges and quirks between the characters . 
in one very funny scene , chastity asks , "" i know people can be overwhelmed , and they can be underwhelmed , but can people just be . . . whelmed ? "" 
at another point , bianca and kat's father ( a stand-out larry miller ) , who is constantly terrified that his daughters are going to get pregnant , only allows bianca to go to the prom on one occasion : before she leaves , she has to put on the heavy fat suit he has so she will get an idea of what it's like to be pregnant . 
 "" 10 things i hate about you "" once and for all proves that there is still life in the teen comedy genre , and this movie is probably more reminiscent of the great john hughes than any other film of the '90s . 
it also helps that the movie has a perfectly-assembled soundtrack , mixing indie-rock with new wave '80s songs ( and with , thank goodness , no rap ) . 
by the film's end , it actually had me rooting for certain characters to get together , and i was also quite pleased with how everything was wrapped up , especially in the final scenes involving kat and bianca , kat and her father , and a flawlessly-acted and moving sequence in which kat gets up to read the poem she has written for her english class ( this is where the title comes from ) . 
luckily , i doubt i would be able to find ten things i hate about "" 10 things i hate about you , "" but the positive aspects of the film far out-number ten . 
"
"1","the last steve martin film i saw , the spanish prisoner , was a very different approach for the comic actor . 
as a millionaire leading a massive conspiracy in order to rob "" a process "" from a clueless businessman , martin's character did it all for money . 
in his most recent movie , bowfinger , martin plays yet another con man except this time he does it to succeed in the film industry . 
he wants to direct a successful picture that will force people to remember his name , that will make him more popular at the parties , and , most importantly , that will cause fed ex to deliver important business packages to his front door . 
playing the title role , martin is once again the good guy ; the one we cheer for to complete his low budget action movie . 
this con man is very likeable for some reason , even though he is doing the same exact thing as the malicious jimmy del from the spanish prisoner . 
maybe the message is that , in hollywood , to win over the trust and friendship of others , you have to be a little evil . 
bowfinger is a very clever comedy with great performances from its two stars . 
martin , who also wrote the screenplay , is perfect as a jerk with a conscience and eddie murphy does his best "" peter sellers "" in two different , but equally hilarious , roles ; one as a big time move star and the other as his nerdy , burger king employee brother . 
the story follows aging and failing director/producer bobby bowfinger as he makes one last attempt to become a respected member of his field by creating a b-action movie called chubby rain . 
in order to attract actors and crew members , bowfinger promises them that hot shot actor kit ramsey will star in the movie . 
the only problem is that kit refuses to be in it . 
but this won't stop the aggressive bowfinger . 
he is so determined to complete his film that he decides to put kit in it without even telling him . 
he has his actors approach kit on the streets of los angeles in character with a hidden camera filming the footage . 
will bowfinger be able to make his film ? 
or will kit ramsey discover what exactly is going on ? 
bowfinger is a very cartoon-like movie that pokes fun at hollywood and its famous residents while simultaneously holding a very solid story line . 
the only area where the film really lacks is the cameo department . 
this is the kind of movie that cameos are all about , it is always funny to see actors/directors/producers making fun of themselves or co-workers especially in a playful movie such as this . 
besides the very repetitive and superflous ending , bowfinger is a joy to watch . 
if you take a movie like this seriously then you will never enjoy it . 
if you accept the incredulous plot and the extreme caricatures of real entertainment figures , the movie is great fun . 
"
"1","whenever studio executives try to combine the successful formula of two blockbuster films , the end result is always a mess of a script , acting , directing , and generally a waste of time for any audience with an average iq above 40 . 
the latest movie morass from hollywood , the crew , appeared equally destined to fail , a strange combination of grumpy old men and goodfellas tossed together with the likes of richard dreyfuss and burt reynolds helming the ship . 
the scary thing is that it's actually entertaining and a breath of fresh air in this otherwise stale month . 
the crew works for several reasons . 
the clever script is reminiscent of an old billy wilder movie , following four "" past their prime "" wiseguys from jersey who now live in the raj mahal apartment house in miami beach . 
the wiseguys find themselves being evicted from their "" golden paradise "" by greedy landlords bent on raising rents for new beach bunnies and boys looking for beachfront property . 
the four mobsters , bobby bartellemeo ( richard dreyfuss ) , joey "" bats "" pistella ( burt reynolds ) , mike "" the brick "" donatelli ( dan hedaya ) , and tony "" mouth "" donato ( seymour cassel ) decide to hatch a scheme to plant there a dead body heisted from the morgue in order to drive out the new tenants and keep their home . 
this "" simple plan "" suddenly goes screwy , of course , and the boys become involved with a stripper named ferris ( jennifer tilly ) who wants her stepmother killed , a paranoid latin drug lord who's convinced a mysterious rival is out to get him , and a rat with its tail on fire . 
the crew works as a strong comedic vehicle driven by a great ensemble cast of talented character actors and subtle leading men . 
instead of concentrating on bobby's search for his daughter , the film gives equal screen time to all four wiseguys , balancing the production . 
the acting talents of such screen veterans as dan hedaya , seymour cassel , and the great , great burt reynolds are brought out by each character's uniqueness and synergy within the wiseguy circle . 
a strong supporting cast including jeremy piven as a philandering boyfriend/cop/partner and miguel sandoval as the paranoid drug lord provide the most laughs . 
the film was produced by barry sonnenfeld and carries a hint get shorty with its energetic camera work by michael dinner , emmy award-winning director of the wonder years . 
the quick script written by barry fanaro , screenwriter of kingpin , is carried by plenty of subtly dry humor and wit . 
the crew is a prime example of how simple and dry-witted a comedy can get these days . 
the great thing is that this comedy does not need to be punctuated by bodily fluids , phallus symbols in the head , or grandmothers giving head in a spa . 
in the steady flow of "" extreme "" comedy these days flowing from hollywood like a broken water main , it's the elder statesmen like dreyfuss , reynolds , and hedaya that can carry a comic arc with only a few weapons of choice - a decent script and good acting . 
"
"1","along his carreer , mel gibson has collected several successes , not only from an economic point of view but also from an artistic point of view . 
for all that , i think no one could guess the skills and abilities now disclosed in braveheart . 
the australian actor decided to produce and direct a film about sir william wallace , a popular scotch hero of the 13th century , where he would also perform the principal role . 
accepting so huge challenge , mel gibson run the risk of stain all his work of years , with a suppoosed failure , just to see recognized , by everyone , all his potentialities and , that way , to consolidate his position in hollywood . 
it was , definitely , an enormous risk but i'm sure mel knew exactly well what he was going to face . 
braveheart is , in fact , a magnificent and magisterial film . 
for three hours we are completely absorbed by the narrative's rhyitm which never gives place to a single moment of monotony or uninterest . 
the william wallace's story is the story of so many others brave liberty's defenders who fought and gave the life for that essential value , along the centuries . 
seeing himself and his people victims of injustices and violent repression , william wallace dares to face the powerful edward i , king of england , in a war by the autonomy of scotland . 
as the victories succeed the number of fighters with wallace goes growing up . 
his courage and inteligence are admired by everyone , including the princess isabelle of wales , wife of edward's son . 
however , william wallace was also surrounded by enemies and some of them were closer than he thought . 
braveheart may not be an historically corrected movie but the nature of its message make us think about the importance that we give to liberty , nowadays . 
mel gibson directs with a lot of brilliancy a brilliant cast . 
patrick mcgoohan has a very nice performance as edward i , the king longshank . 
the scene when he waits for the death and loses his voice is really good . 
sophie marceau , as princess isabelle , has along the movie no more than fifteen minutes of performance but mel gibson gave to those minutes such a very special treatment that princess isabelle soon becomes one of the major characters in braveheart . 
i also liked the performances of angus macfadyen , as robert the bruce , and , of course , mel gibson , as william wallace . 
however , i think this time the mel gibson's work as director was much better than his work as actor . 
the excellent music composed by james horner is another thing that helps braveheart to be the success that it really is . 
when we join that music to the beautiful scotch landscapes , view by the camera of john toll , then we realize all the beauty of this film . 
braveheart is , in my opinion , one of the best movies of 1995 ! 
i've heard some people saying that mel gibson is gonna be a new david lean . 
for now , let's see if braveheart equalizes the 6 oscars of lawrence of arabia . 
it won't be easy ! 
it's gonna be one more challenge for mel gibson . 
"
"1","renown surrealist director , the 77-year-old frenchman alain resnais ( hiroshima , mon amour/last year at marienbad/m ? lo ) , has created a lighthearted musical played as an homage to britisher dennis potter and his pennies from heaven ( 1978 tv serial , 1981 movie ) and the singing detective ( 1986 ) . 
the film follows potter's gimmicky style of having the characters jump into lip-synched old or contemporary french pop songs to express their private thoughts . 
he also follows the kind of sweet and colorful musicals his fellow countryman jacques demy loved to direct , such as "" the umbrellas of cherbourg "" and "" the young girls of rochefort . "" 
the tale has resnais's unique touches as a director to go along with his homage . 
it is a satire about class differences and falling in love with the wrong person , and that there is a song in everyone's heart for every occasion . 
what hinders this production is that the stars are not portraying particularly engaging characters , the songs are not memorable and stand little chance of being recognized by an american audience ( the exceptions might be the edith piaf and maurice chevalier numbers ) , and the farce seems more banal than daring . 
yet it is not without its striking moments and charms , such as when jane birkin does a cameo and sings one of her own songs . 
also , the glossy amberlike photography added a very french romantic feeling to the story , while the mood of paris as being a place for love to flourish above all else , which has always been embellished in movie lore , comes through with flying colors . 
it also does a good job of showing you the way paris is in the 1990s and in the way ordinary people exist there . 
it tells the romantic story of six parisians who become intertwined with each other in their ordinary lives as they search for happiness . 
they are the attractive sisters odile ( sabine az ? ma ) and camille ( agnes jaoui ) , with the older businesswoman odile married and decidedly set on a bourgeois life of material comforts . 
she is married to the glum and laconic claude ( pierre arditi ) . 
she once went out with a businessman , nicolas ( jean-pierre bacri ) , who left her 8-years ago and now shows up in paris and asks her help to find someone to rent a flat for his family . 
simon ( andre dussolier ) works as a real-estate salesman and is trying to find nicolas a flat , in his spare time he writes radio plays . 
simon's boss is the much younger , unscrupulous and arrogant marc duveyrier ( lambert wilson ) , who inherited the firm from his father and is the real-estate agent selling a more luxurious and larger flat with a better view to odile , but fails to tell her that a building project is going up soon that will block her view . 
screenwriters and actors jean-pierre bacri and agnes jaoui wrote themselves the best parts . 
jaoui's camille is a university scholar finishing up a ph . d . 
in history , using for her thesis the study of 'the yeomen in the year 1000 at lake paladru . ' 
she works as a tour guide in the meantime and suffers from panic attacks , even though she appears to have outwardly perfect self-control . 
on her tours for the last four years has been the much older simon , pretending to be doing research for his plays but really attracted to her , but not having the nerve to tell her this . 
to his dismay , he finds out she is dating his mean-spirited but handsome boss , whom she meets when looking at her sister's new place and seeing him crying but not realizing that it was from a cold , not because he's so sensitive . 
bacri as the classy nicolas , turns out to be now working as a chauffeur . 
he is a hypochondriac with a history of depression who visits many doctors , until he finds one who tells him there is nothing wrong with him . 
odile still pines for him , but he's married , telling her he expects his wife to arrive shortly . 
love is 'the same old song' that makes the world go 'round , even when all the characters are liars and not exactly open to what their true motives are . 
everything comes together in a bourgeois housewarming party for odile's place , as the characters reveal their true feelings and all their deceptions and neurotic impulses are either uncovered or about to be . 
there's not a lot of bite to this satirical musical , but resnais has never made a bad film and is one of the best current french directors , if not the best . 
this film is not one his great ones , but it still has enough pep in its light touches to be interesting . 
it not only has an odd way for the characters to break into song but -- some males even sing in a female voice while some females sing in a male voice . 
it is also interesting in the way it examines its characters' behavior as being similar in business as in love . 
"
"1","in 1987 the stock market crashed , and oliver stone's wall street was released to critical acclaim and packed movie houses . 
wall street lucked out in its timing ; the recent crash gave the film a resonation it might not of had , and though its kill-or-be-killed approach to business was exaggerated , that very ideology was keyed into the mind set of the quintessential reagan-era businessman . 
stone constructed his film as a mythical good vs . evil tale relayed in the fast-paced milieu of the burgeoning stock exchange . 
critics and audiences lauded wall street , elevating its status to that of a contemporary classic . 
i'm proud to say that i will never be counted as one of them . 
i found wall street to be just as axiomatic and pandering as the majority of stone's output with its thin caricatures , obvious sentiments , and a charisma barren performance by the young charlie sheen . 
stone goes for broke in every scene ( the same could be said for nearly all of his works ) . 
this approach tends to bury his purported message beneath a heap of good intentions . 
he directs stock exchange scenes in typical hyperbolic mode with people shouting into phones as if they were in a plummeting airplane . 
it's all an excuse for stone to ratchet up the emotion with false intensity , rather than explore what these situations are really like . 
i have a feeling the brokers would be psychologically manipulative ( as they are presented in boiler room ) rather than laughably over the top . 
these guys are salesmen after all , not televised judges . 
more than anything i am baffled by why so many adore wall street . 
the only possible solution i can muster is its release date . 
and not just the timeliness of the "" greed is good "" subject matter : the film was plumped down in the eighties , a decade in which the one-joke comedy rose to an art form , and a group of glamorous brat packers smirked their way through inane high concept , low result movies . 
in my mind , the eighties will forever be remembered as a decade with not only a proliferation of bad movies , but bad music , bad hair , and bad clothes . 
maybe stone's after school special set in wall street was viewed as a welcome change of pace . 
boiler room is an equally well-timed film with some similarities to stone's piece of crap . 
they both feature a consequential father-son relationship , though boiler room's is much more subtle and touching . 
and they are both concerned with the power of greed , yet the men in boiler room are akin to poseurs presuming to be big shots rather than the slippery-smooth , heartless gordon gecko figures of wall street . 
boiler room is a message movie as well , though ( at least until the end ) doesn't shove it in our faces . 
boiler room is about the pursuit of cash and the degrees to which people will go for that cash . 
as i said , this film is indeed timely in a society where who wants to be a millionaire is the number one prime time show every day ( bringing about a revolution of prime time tv watching that hasn't been seen in quite a while ) ; not only do we want to be millionaires , we want to watch other people become millionaires ! 
in our super-judgmental , power-oriented culture the desire for money supersedes everything ; when you have money , you have it "" all "" . 
and seth ( giovanni ribisi ) wants it "" all "" the easy way . 
he's a well-intentioned college drop out who gets lured into working for an illegally run brokerage firm ( the kind that sells junk stock ) whereupon he meets others just like him . 
ben affleck is cast as jim , the company headhunter , who struts in commanding the room like a frat boy gordon gecko . 
his job is to influence trainee's into becoming enthusiastic employees by giving a speech that subtly attacks their man hood . 
it's ironic that he sells these pups the same load of b . s that they're told to dish out to prospective buyers . 
affleck's character is obviously supposed to recall alec baldwin's similar character in glengary glen ross , and that proves detrimental to the actor's performance . 
affleck shouts , curses and be-littles his rookie employees just like baldwin , minus the edge . 
when alec played the scene he became the part , spewing those brutal lines as if they were his own . 
by comparison affleck simply looks as if he were doing a really hammy line reading . 
the brokers approach their job with the fervor of overzealous jocks : they storm to work like football players on the way to the big game . 
rap music thumps on the soundtrack effectively illustrating who these guys think they are : intellectual gangsters . 
they aren't above a rumble as a test of man hood especially during leisure time where the lumbering scott caan seems all too eager to use his fists in minor disputes . 
we drink up this world along with seth , and watch him become seduced by it , just like we might be . 
as in all cautionary tales , boiler room begins with seducing us into its illustrious world of profit and wrongdoing , then smacks us with the consequences of all the recklessness . 
i know this story . 
we all do . 
but it can work if it's told with intelligence and energy , and that is how writer \ director ben younger tells it . 
as a director of ( please excuse my french ) mise-en-scene younger has much to learn . 
his style is sitcom bland . 
but his writing isn't . 
younger's script is well studied in the vernacular of this bunch ; his dialogue is like a junior david mamet . 
despite the moderate camera work younger fills his phone-pitch scenes with tension that comes from just the performances and the tightly wound script . 
the brokers \ hucksters counter every customer objection , gently bullying them into buying stock . 
these moments are filmed like psychological action scenes : a tense confrontation between a victimizer and a victim who isn't aware that he is one . 
with the exception of affleck's brief appearances , the performances are truly exceptional . 
ribisi , who has the edgy looks of a character actor , is extremely potent here , working his pale angular face , and eerie , plaintive stare for all their worth . 
he conveys child-like vulnerability ( his character seems to hide in a corner whenever things aren't going his way ) in some scenes , and in others he's ferociously cut throat . 
the jekyll and hyde contradiction works well in the movie : ribisi is confident when it's just him and the phone , but cowardly in front of authority figures including his abrasive father ( authoritatively played by ron rifkin ) . 
boiler room thankfully avoids wall street-like histrionics in the sales-pitch sequences ; the sales build slowly like a crescendo of intelligent psychological ploys . 
those ploys are taught to seth by chris ( vin diesel ) , a kind broker who alternates between seth's friend and his mentor . 
diesl shines in his minor role . 
this week i saw the sci-fi opus pitch black in which diesel plays a completely different role in an equally effective manner . 
in that film he has the kind of role that might have gone to arnold schwarzenegger in the 80's , and in boiler room he has the kind of role that might have gone to elliot gould in the 70's . 
nicky katt is also memorable as a superior broker obsessed with what he can't have . 
nia long , as the firm's secretary , ( a lone black women amongst many white men ) is ribisi's love interest in a part that at first looks to be as insignificant as most of the parts this talented actress gets , but develops into something more interesting . 
the two make an oddly likeable couple . 
long is smart and brash , and ribisi is charmingly aloof . 
at one point he says to her "" i'm just lookin' for some chocolate love "" . 
it's a terrible line but ribisi delivers it in such an innocuous child-like way , it becomes sweetly endearing . 
unfortunately , towards the end , the boiler room turns a tad schmaltzy . 
there is much crying , hugging , and sorrowful stares . 
this is okay when taken in small doses , but younger's conclusion is constructed as a series of these boo-hoo moments , one following the other . 
a particular misstep is his attempt to show the effect that seth's manipulations have on one of his poor victims . 
it's not a bad idea but the execution is lacking , with those scenes feeling tacked on to further spell out the message . 
that message being , "" greed is bad "" . 
yes it's patently obvious , but boiler room conveys it by introducing us to a culture that i haven't seen much of in the movies : the disenfranchised twenty something entrepreneur . 
and all wall street did was introduce us to a simplistic fantasy world of saints and sinners . 
boiler room offers neither extreme . 
it gives us what is in between , and for that i am thankful . 
"
"1","look back at all the times in your life when there was a fork in the path to the future . 
some sort of decision had to be made , and , for better or worse , it irrevocably altered the course of your existence . 
>from time-to-time , everyone thinks about the roads not taken , and how things might have turned out if the choice had been different . 
perhaps even more dizzying to contemplate is how a seemingly minor action -- catching the 10 am train , for example -- could have an equally profound , yet less obvious , impact . 
maybe that's where you met your significant other , and , had you reached the platform just a few seconds later ? 
film makers are no less fascinated by issues of destiny than anyone else , and that's why there's no shortage of movies about this subject . 
the best of the bunch were probably made by the late polish director krzysztof kieslowski , who was obsessed with questions of fate and chance . 
these themes weave their way through many of his movies , including decalogue , the double life of veronique , and the triptych of blue , white , and red . 
however , they are most explicitly examined in a 1981 film called blind chance , where kieslowski presents the three different fates of one man after a minor action ( missing or catching a train ) changes the course of his life . 
in his autobiography , kieslowski on kieslowski , the director describes his attraction to the concept this way : "" [the idea is] rich and interesting ? that every day we're faced with a choice which could end our entire life yet of which we're completely unaware . "" 
while this approach has been the fodder for several notable dramatic films ( including , in a way , frank capra's it's a wonderful life ) , sliding doors is the first romantic comedy to plumb its depths . 
the "" road not taken "" approach isn't just a plot device , either . 
writer/director peter howitt expands upon both possible fates of a character after she just misses/catches a train . 
the audience watches , with ever-growing fascination , how this one event impacts upon every aspect of her life : her future career , where she lives , whom she loves , and whether she has a family . 
as her separate destinies diverge and then re-converge , she becomes two completely different individuals . 
that woman is helen , played by gwyneth paltrow as a long , dark- haired brit . 
one day , after losing her job as an advertising executive , she decides to return home in the middle of the day . 
the scene of the pivotal moment is a train platform . 
in scenario #1 , she just slips through the sliding doors before the train pulls out of the station . 
on board , she meets the cheerful , talkative james ( john hannah ) , a monty python fan who is taken with her beauty . 
minutes later , in her flat , she walks in on her lover , gerry ( john lynch ) , in bed with another woman ( jeanne tripplehorn ) . 
in scenario #2 , she misses the train and , shortly thereafter , is the victim of an attempted mugging . 
she doesn't meet james and fails to make it home in time to discover gerry's infidelity . 
juxtaposed one against the other , while sharing many places , cues , and characters , the two stories proceed in parallel from there . 
on one level , for viewers who enjoy pondering the workings of fate , sliding doors can be viewed as a deep and wonderful experience . 
but , for those who just appreciate a romantic comedy characterized by solid acting , a script with a few twists , and a great deal of genuinely funny material , sliding doors still fits the bill . 
one of its most obvious strengths is that it can satisfy many different types of audiences -- those who demand something substantial from their motion pictures , and those who could care less . 
it shouldn't come as any surprise that the acting , at least from three of the four leads , is solid . 
paltrow , who does double duty as two helens who are initially the same , yet gradually become much different , is the standout . 
she plays both of her roles effectively and believably -- the shy , insecure woman who stays with gerry and the liberated , platinum-blond who severs the ties to her old life and embarks on a new career with a new man . 
john hannah , known to most american viewers as the younger gay character in four weddings and a funeral , is instantly likable . 
john lynch , taking a break from movies about ireland's troubles , does a good job presenting gerry as a inept , selfish philanderer . 
only jeanne tripplehorn , who plays an over-the-top vixen , seems out of place . 
her attempts at broad comedy are occasionally jarring , and it's occasionally difficult to see her lydia as anything more than a plot element . 
one member of the supporting cast deserves special notice . 
douglas mcferran , who plays gerry's best friend , russell , is an absolute delight , stealing every scene that he's in . 
part of this is surely because he is given the best lines in the movie . 
on one occasion , he has a marvelous monologue bemoaning how advances in the telecommunications industry have trapped men into a life of monogamy . 
on another occasion , while laughing at gerry's plight with the women in his life , he comments , "" being with you makes the wait for the next episode of seinfeld more bearable . "" 
but it's not all in the dialogue . 
mcferran tears into this part with relish ; his performance becomes one of the most memorable aspects of a top-notch comedy . 
this is the first feature film for peter howitt , and he approaches the task with unimpeachable aplomb . 
the script is shrewd and inventive , combining wit , romance , and intelligent melodrama into a crowd-pleasing whole . 
sliding doors grants more than just a good time at the movies , however . 
for those who are so inclined , its central theme offers an opportunity to ponder some of the more philosophical questions about the workings of the universe -- all while having a good time . 
"
"1","three things i learned from "" being john malkovich "" : when getting on the elevator for your first day of work on the 7 1/2th floor of a building , always bring your crowbar ; don't stand in the way of your wife's actualization as a man ; and , whenever entering a portal into the mind of another human being , wear old clothes , because , hey , it's muddy in there . 
 "" being john malkovich "" is the most original film to come down the pike in a very long time . 
wildly surrealistic , yet presented in a down-to-earth , funky style , this is the kind of movie that sticks in your head . 
after savoring the sheer inventiveness of the storyline , you roll around the wealth of ideas contained within it . 
from the ethics of relationships and politics of immortality to the very nature of identity itself , there's a lot to think about here . 
just don't forget to have fun . 
clearly , all parties involved in the making of the film certainly did , starting with writer charles kaufman . 
 "" i wrote 'being john malkovich' without an outline , "" he explains in the press notes , "" blindly , with no sense of direction or purpose . 
it's important to me that i don't have a map before i start . 
this allows me to surprise myself , stay engaged , discover things , and , hopefully , allow the unconscious to surface . "" 
spike jonze ( mark wahlberg's na ? ve buddy in "" three kings "" ) takes it from there . 
the white-hot director of the beastie boy's "" sabotage , "" an award-winning parody of '70s tv cop shows , as well as numerous other music videos and commercials , eschews typical mtv flash for his feature film debut . 
jonze wisely realized that a storyline this unusual is most effectively presented in a low-key style . 
his flat , matter-of-fact approach works perfectly . 
and then there's the cast . 
john cusack plays control freak craig schwartz , a street performer who periodically gets decked by parents objecting to his remarkably expressive , but decidedly erotic puppet shows . 
over the years , his marriage to obsessive pet store employee lotte ( cameron diaz ) has devolved . 
once passionate lovers , the two are now little more than courteous roommates . 
financially strapped , craig takes a job as an entry-level file clerk at lestercorp , located on the 7 1/2th floor of a manhattan building . 
navigating around dr . lester ( orson bean ) , his 105 year-old boss and floris ( mary kay place ) , lester's dotty secretary , craig tries to settle into his new position , but two things keep him distracted . 
first , there's the beautiful and imperious maxine ( catherine keener ) , who delights in tormenting craig over his obvious lust for her . 
and then there's the hole behind the file cabinet , which turns out to be a portal into the mind of actor john malkovich . 
craig learns that anyone who enters the portal gets whooshed into the subconscious of malkovich , where they can experience life from his point of view ( with enough concentration , you can even influence his actions ) . 
after 15 minutes , the visitor gets ejected and unceremoniously dumped in a ditch on the side of the new jersey turnpike . 
then things get a little weird . 
by the way , if you're concerned that i gave away too much of the plot , rest assured - - i barely scratched the surface . 
one of the most satisfying aspects of the fable is that kaufman is not content to simply milk laughs from his bizarre set-up . 
instead , he crawls into the dark premise as completely as craig crawls into malkovich , rummaging around and toying with the various philosophical implications of compromising another person's identity . 
he also examines the consequences of the malko-visits to craig , lotte , maxine and , of course , john malkovich himself . 
the performances are superb . 
malkovich ( best known to mainstream audiences for his work in "" dangerous liaisons , "" "" in the line of fire , "" and as head psychopath in the guilty-pleasure "" con air "" ) tweaks his own image in a dandy self-deprecating turn . 
far from his effete , vaguely reptilian persona , this malkovich is just another schlub , drinking with his pals and trying to get laid ( incidentally , charlie sheen also plays himself in a hilarious parody of his well-earned bad boy reputation ) . 
as always , john cusack nails his part , handily pulling viewers along even as craig's actions become unconscionable . 
the big surprises come from catherine keener and cameron diaz , both playing against type . 
kenner , usually cast in icy subordinate roles , is terrific as a highly intelligent , extremely manipulative femme fatale . 
cameron diaz , barely recognizable under a mess of brown , curly hair , sheds her perpetually sunny smile and draws big laughs as a woman thrown into extreme sexual confusion after taking a ride in malkovich . 
 "" being john malkovich "" stumbles towards the end , as jonze and kaufman try too hard to resolve the various subplots . 
additional characters and increasingly complex explanations lead to a cluttered finale . 
regardless , this contemporary "" alice in wonderland "" is a real treat . 
i enjoyed watching "" being john malkovich , "" but only later , after reflecting on the film , did its resonance fully hit me . 
at one point , craig says , "" do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is ? "" 
truer words were never spoken . 
"
"1","in my reviews i try to make gentle recommendations rather than telling you what to see or what not to see . 
i realize that we all have different tastes and i cannot predict what my audience will like and what they will dislike . 
but in the case of american beauty , i must make an exception . 
if you haven't yet seen it , go see it . 
now . 
stop reading this review and head for your local multiplex , then after you've seen it , come back . 
i'll wait here . 
welcome back . 
if you followed my advice ( and i see no reason why you should not have , do you ? ) , 
i'm sure you've just had one of the richest cinematic experiences of your life . 
american beauty is an extraordinary film , a powerful , jolting exploration of the dark side of the american dream . 
it's humorous but it isn't funny because of the unrelenting ominous undercurrent that runs throughout the whole production . 
mixing comedy and the darkest of drama was the way this film was intended , and by god , it works , making it one of the year's very best . 
lester burnham ( kevin spacey ) has entered the mother of all mid-life crises . 
he is living life without a purpose . 
he is bored , depressed and sick of his sheltered , insignificant existence . 
he barely ever talks to his family , has no sex life , is stuck at a dead-end job and thinks he has no reason to live . 
but one day , when he and his equally troubled wife ( annette bening ) attend one of his daughter's ( thora birch ) cheerleading performances , he sees something that makes him come alive . 
what he sees is the performance by his daughter's friend , the head cheerleader . 
he develops a lust for the promiscuous young girl ; an obsession which soon becomes pedophilic in nature . 
but for the first time , lester feels that he is actually living . 
this crush is only the beginning . 
lester proceeds to make more and more radical changes in his life , buying the car of his dreams , cursing off the boss and quitting his job ( "" today i quit my job , told the boss to f * * * himself and blackmailed him for $60 , 000 -- would you pass the asparagus please ? "" ) , 
buying drugs from the voyeur-next-door ( ricky fitts , a teenager who mysteriously videotapes what he considers to be "" beauty "" ) and refusing to be docile in family affairs . 
his new attitude further alienates his daughter , only reassuring her that her parents are nothing more than freaks of nature unjustly forced on her by the powers that be , and inspiring her to enter a relationship with her eccentric neighbor . 
and the burnhams's neighbors provide american beauty with a significant chunk of its dramatic momentum . 
ricky fitts ( wes bentley ) serves as the film's thematic center , providing the obscure , powerful meaning of the title . 
colonel fitts , the father , is one of the most fascinating and complex characters in the movie , even considering his limited screentime . 
kevin spacey has never been better , and this performance will certainly earn him a chance to put a little gold person on his mantel . 
he never plays his droll character as a freak , rather , he effectively portrays him as a normal person led to drastic self-exploration by his dissatisfaction with life . 
spacey is poignant and devastating in the role of a lifetime . 
equally astonishing is young thora birch , who plays her potentially stereotypical rebellious teen character with suprising feeling and tenderness . 
at two hours and ten minutes , american beauty didn't feel nearly long enough . 
it's a complicated , unforgettable film that , like the ice storm two years ago , dares to explore the darkest reaches of suburban life . 
powerfully and cynically , it dissects the notion of the pretty house with the white picket fence and appealing garden being the american dream . 
it claims that this picture-perfect image is just that -- an image , and hiding behind it are lives much darker than common knowledge would have it . 
the dark , deeply ironic ending , though given away by our narrator in the first few minutes of the movie , stays with you for weeks after it's all over . 
american beauty is just the kind of uncompromising film hollywood needs every now and then to counterbalance the mindless drivel we see released ; even more so considering it's a masterpiece . 
"
"1","'pleasantville' ( 1998 ) taps into hollywood's lack of integrity with subtle messages that can be easily missed 
 ( www . pleasantville . com ) april 2 , 1999 ( friday ) 
cast : tobey maguire , reese witherspoon , william h . macy , joan allen , j . t . 
walsh , jeff daniels 
mpaa rating : pg-13 for sexual content and thematic elements 
genre : drama 
in my opinion : 
in short : it takes a lot of careful observation to see the true morals and lessons brought out in this film ; one can easily be misled as to what the real message is . 
review : in a literally colorless world with an almost mechanical population , there is no room for transitioning variety or even the customary happenings of everyday life , such as rain , fire , or emotions . 
the town of pleasantville has one adjective : pleasant . 
there is no sadness , no fear , no danger , no discomfort , no love , and no hate . 
put simply , it's a place alanis morissette could really work wonders for . 
j one big note however is that it is only a 50's sitcom that airs in reruns on an "" oldies "" tv station ? or is it ? 
i had waited months to see this movie and after doing so on opening day i was not disappointed . 
i found it quite intriguing and delightful and went back 3 more times in the period it endured at the box office . 
but it wasn't until months later , when i slipped in for a small showing in one of those crummy "" dollar theaters "" after not having seen it for so long , that my eyes were opened to such a deeper meaning and perspective than i had previously experienced . 
it is a far too feasible misconception that this is a film which forwards the idea that a world without some "" healthy "" immorality is not a world at all . 
instead , the actual message , which so far has not been recognized by many viewers that i know of , is that a world without immorality doesn't give one the ability to discern right and wrong for himself , because everything is automatically right . 
there is no room for mistakes and growth and learning because there are no mistakes to be made , no space for growth , and never anything new to learn , and that is the key component to the entire purpose of the story . 
now i'm not saying that's necessarily the way it was intended to be interpreted , but that is hands down the proper way in which it should be . 
besides a hidden symbolic depth and themes that go beyond what we can absorb from previews , this film has elements of physical wonder and strength that make it just so great to watch . 
the visual effects are indeed striking and what little color is revealed is impartially favorable . 
after spending the bulk of the movie staring at black and white , it's hard not to identify and appreciate the fact that our own world allows for all that brilliance and more . 
a truly intelligent addition to it all , however , is the charming and ardently attainable cast that operates together like clockwork . 
that said , the plot goes as such . 
david and jennifer are two very 90's high school twins with the typical "" relationship "" outline of don't-mess-with-my-life-and-i-won't-mess-with-yours . 
they demonstrate the well-known teenage qualities of two of the common versions of adolescents today . 
david is the shyer , subtler twin who would rather watch tv land than mtv , while jennifer is the wild , licentious one who spends her days at the mall and relishes in the pleasures of the offensive world of degradation . 
but when a freak accident enchantingly plops them smack dab in the middle of pleasantville as two of the main characters , they are forced to depend on each other to make it back home . 
nevertheless , jennifer works her magic and introduces the town to a more unrestrained approach to life , and while david frantically tries to stop her and get them back home , he realizes that change was exactly what the town needed . 
and , as said earlier , not to flip the town around into some corrupt society , but rather to give people the choice to decide between good and bad and to reap the results of their decisions and learn from them . 
not only were difficult choices being brought upon the town , but the simple accepted occurrences of ordinary existence also began to take place . 
people got hurt . 
they cried . 
they became afraid and happy and thoughtful and started to think for themselves , and that's when their physical world turned colors as well . 
this can be looked upon as quite a controversial movie , but to me the message is finally clear . 
i hope after reading this people can be more open to the film than they had been in the past , and realize that without choosing how our own lives will be run , we'll never know what we could have done better . 
until the next great movie i see , i remain sincerely , danielle flynn , imr 
"
"1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
east meets west in mulan , the latest installment in disney's parade of annual animated feature films . 
an odd fusion of ancient asian traditions and disconcerting elements which betray obvious mass-market commercial sensibilities , this confident entry is easily the most engaging and satisfying hollywood animated feature in years , but falls short of actualizing its potential . 
though not for lack of trying . 
in many respects , mulan is among disney's most mature efforts , skirting the surface of adult themes and daring to sneak glimpses into the messier side of combat . 
the violence of the battles in the film are admittedly sanitized -- the imagery of a pillaged village , neatly encapsulated in the form of a child's discarded doll , is in itself no more harrowing than luke discovering his fallen guardians in star wars , and mulan's later heroics in dispatching of the ruthless invaders is done so in the most tidy , bloodless method imaginable -- yet how often does a hollywood animated film , long considered as the last safe refuge for the innocent , dare touch upon the consequential horrors of war in such a provocative manner ? 
in an instant , idealistic mulan's innocence is lost , and her jovial squadron are reminded of what their efforts are spent defending . 
the film , based upon an ancient chinese fable , centers on a spirited young woman who disguises herself as a man in order to serve as her family's obligatory conscript when china finds itself under attack by huns ( cartoonishly depicted by easy demonic overtones , replete with glowing yellow eyes and dagger-edged teeth , although lent a surprisingly genuine sense of menace ) . 
dipping into the mythology of other cultures for the first time after cavorting in animated revisitings of familiar western / european fables and literature for decades , disney's new film is boldly set in ancient china rather than relocated elsewhere , story intact , to some neutral territory , and revels in its east asian roots ; aside from a predominantly asian-american cast providing the film's vocal work , there's liberal usage of oriental iconography throughout , and the artwork reveal hints of japanese anime influence . 
while the film does occasionally reach its limits and starts to tread upon old stereotypes -- invoking pseudo-asian references to items like beancurd and rice in every third sentence grows rather hoary , and i can't imagine that the regiment for ancient chinese warriors * really * included karate-chopping blocks of stone in two -- it's rather remarkable that a movie primarily positioned for american and european audiences delves so wholeheartedly into new foreign territory . 
the film also freely touches upon cultural idiosyncrasies from its outset ; although savvy viewers should easily pick up on the intrinsics immediately , it's startlingly assertive in providing as little shorthand as it does to unfamiliar youngsters with regards to the customs and traditions of mulan's land . 
at its core , the film is a tale of heroic adventure , and as such paints its story in bold strokes of honour , perseverance , nobility and courage . 
as such , animation is the perfect vehicle for this flavour of epic , where stark emotional simplicity is able to effectively work hand-in-hand with visual purity . 
scenes which would play out as unbearably hokey in live action , such as mulan's venerable father pridefully tossing aside his cane when accepting his draft notice , are lent a sense of strength and conveyed with greater emotional clarity in animation . 
mulan capitalizes on this during its strongest moments , particularly during our heroine's character-defining opening half-hour . 
it's when the film attempts to integrate the traditional mainstays of recent hollywood animation -- the friendly animal sidekick , the colourful array of supporting characters -- into the mix where it goes slightly awry . 
off to battle , mulan finds herself being trailed by a jive-talking diminutive dragon called mushu and an agreeable little "" lucky "" cricket , who ostensibly appear to assist in her subterfuge and realistically serve as audience-friendly comic relief . 
they're affable presences , and not precisely ineffective -- reasonable amounts of humour are elicited , and eddie murphy ( who voices mushu ) is amusingly earnest -- but amidst all the high melodrama , the effect is mildly jarring and , from a storytelling perspective , questionable in its necessity . 
at training camp , mulan antagonizes and eventually wins over a trio of fumbling recruits ( easily characterized simply as the short clown , the skinny clown , and the big clown ) , who provide more levity into the film with decidedly less effectiveness , and , in a familiar retread of traditional disney patterns , she grows a certain fondness for a handsome , square-jawed young captain , shang . 
everybody needs love , even ancient chinese warrior princesses , but not necessarily in * this * film . 
the romantic angle , which lets the air out of the sails of the story's neo-feminist underpinnings , lacks any genuine spark and plays out like a contractual obligation . 
another staple of recent disney animated films , a cache of hummable little ditties , has also obligingly been carried over to mulan but proves to be a decided weakness . 
composed by matthew wilder , none of the handful of tunes are particularly distinguishing , and one -- "" i'll make a man out of you "" ( unimaginatively accompanying a tired montage featuring our crew of characters transforming into lean fighting machines ) -- becomes so grating and hackneyed that it seems almost interminable . 
only "" reflections "" , an early ballad of lament , proves to be a song of any consequence , serving as an effective showcase for lea salonga , one of musical theatre's most wondrously pure voices . 
nonetheless , mulan is an especially appealing piece of work from the disney factory , with a strong narrative arc and pleasant artwork ; the computer-generated stampede of hun warriors charging down a snow mountain is wholly impressive . 
while the blatantly child-friendly elements at times seem incongruous with the remainder of the film , they're not dissuasive and remain fairly enjoyable . 
briskly paced with a smart , energetic heroine and filled with high adventure , the film is ultimately most satisfying on the intimate scale of father and daughter . 
"
"1","plot : a big-time momma's boy can't seem to leave his mother's crib and make good on the babies that he himself has produced in the world . 
he visits his kids ( and their mommas ) every now and then , but his main goal in life is . . . well , he doesn't have any goals . 
then one day , his mother gets an ex-gangsta boyfriend and suddenly he isn't as welcome anymore in his own house . 
it isn't long after that , that his girlfriends start realizing what a jerk he really is and well . . . it's 
either time to grow up or bow down ! 
critique : first things first ! 
this movie ain't about the "" hood "" at all , it's an intelligent film about love , relationships , family , friendship , maturity and growing up . 
do not avoid this film because you think it's about gangbangers and stuff , because it isn't at all . 
it's about you , it's about me , it's about your girlfriend , your mother , your problems and your inability to face up to your responsibilities and to , well . . . grow 
up ! 
this is an extremely well-written film , with some of the most developed characters that i've seen on the screen all year , with superb acting performances to match . 
granted , the film does start a little slow ( and go a little long ) , but hang in there , because once you appreciate and get to know all of its characters , you will be glad that you did . 
this isn't a kid's movie . 
this is about the step that you need to take in order to pass into full "" adulthood "" and some might not appreciate the grander theme behind that step . 
i certainly did , because i too passed , and am passing , through many of these very same things right now ( yeah , yeah , i still live with my momma ! ! ) and related to a lot of the events that went down in this flick ( oh yeah , and for the record , i'm not black but that made absolutely zero difference in this case ) . 
but that's not even half the story . 
you see , the film is damn funny , too . . . and 
i mean , damn funny ! 
i was crackin' up at almost every other scene , and they weren't "" set-up jokes "" like your typical comedies either , just day-to-day things that we could all relate to ( like the scene in which ving rhames is "" drinking koolaid "" in the kitchen and his infamously improvised "" african squat f * * k "" scene , which you just gotta see to believe ! ) 
and there are the performances , too . 
ving rhames , now here's a man who has already established an early lead in the race for best supporting actor at the end of this year . 
damn dude , you scared the shit outta me ! 
tyrese gibson , i have no idea where this guy came from ( an r&b singer and mtv vj , you say . . . hmmmm ? ) , but other than his uncanny resemblance to taye diggs , he nailed this part to the tee . 
from scene one on , i was glued to his performance and sympathized with his character as he molded and shaped himself into the person that he hoped to become one day . 
and everyone else , too . 
gibson's girlfriend in the film , taraji henson , made me a backer with her many subtle touches , all of which helped raise her character several levels above the "" typical "" bitchie girlfriend that we've seen in many of these relationship movies . 
but that's the thing that i liked the most about this movie . 
everyone seemed real , the situations felt authentic , the characters all came across as people like you and me with issues and struggles and hopes and fears . 
i liked this movie a lot because it was masterfully written , wonderfully acted and genuinely entertaining to watch . 
and yeah , i even liked the whole homage to boyz 'n the hood that singleton pulled off in the end ( he called this movie a "" companion piece "" to that film ) . 
a very solid follow-up to an ever greater original , baby boy is a film to be seen by anyone who feels like they never wanna grow up . 
note : the guy who plays jody's best friend in this movie is omar gooding , cuba gooding jr . 's younger brother ( cuba starred in 1991's boyz 'n the hood ) . 
where's joblo coming from ? 
the best man ( 8/10 ) - brothers ( 5/10 ) - shaft ( 7/10 ) - summer of sam ( 7/10 ) - what's cooking ( 7/10 ) 
"
"1","it is an understood passion and an understood calm . 
bud white walks into the home of lynn bracken , a prostitute "" cut to look like veronica lake . "" 
he's one of l . a . 's finest investigating the murder of fellow cop , and one of the leads takes him to her home . 
it's understood that he is quiet thunder , a guy who's calm voice is more powerful than his arms . 
it's understood that she's supposed to be beautiful , but underneath her face is pain and scraped out lines that say her life could have been so much more . 
you know without having to be told . 
 "" you're the first guy who hasn't told me i look like veronicca lake in under a minute , "" she says . 
 "" you look ten times better . "" 
he says it without thinking . 
like he knows without her having to say anything . 
white's face doesn't turn , it doesn't blush . 
you see his eyes , and you believe him . 
it's a perfect moment in a near perfect movie . 
l . a . confidential is the best movie of the year . 
it is grace and poetry ; a richly layered work of pure entertainment . 
it is a portrait of police and morality as it works it's way through characters that are so real on screen that you believe that they might have a soul . 
in a phrase , it is everything . 
it is funny , it is exciting , has enough action and adventure and mystery and grace and suspense . 
it is the pinnacle of a movie , a complete work , a flawless film . 
it's hard to tell you about the plot , because it's about so much more than plot . 
besides , there's too much to describe . 
sure , it's about police and searching for corruption and who fights for the right reasons and the definition of justice . 
but it's also about what you feel when you look into the eyes of the characters in the film . 
director curtis hanson has perfectly framed each character , letting you see into them , rooting for them one moment , doubting them the next . 
the actors work with their lines , but in this movie their most important weapon is their eyes . 
you can tell what each person is feeling just by looking into their eyes for one moment . 
russell crowe plays bud white , a muscle cop with a beef for wife beaters . 
his movements are fierce . 
when he strikes , you jump , when he's calm , you know it won't be for long . 
his intensity oozes out of the screen . 
you follow his character through the movie afraid of him , but in sympathy of him , because you know how good his heart is . 
he's looking for a way to solve crimes , you're just never sure how he's going to do it . 
his counter is ed exley , played with a chisselled face by guy pierce . 
you feel for him , for his character , because of all the cops in the movie he's the one that's actually trying to do the right thing by going by the book . 
you know that he must face the reality of breaking the book , and you love the way he gets there . 
i've seen l . a confidential twice , immediately after it was over , i wanted to hit the rewind button and watch it again . 
i didn't want the theater experience to end . 
it's been a long time since i actually experienced a movie , feeling like i got something after i walked out . 
that's why i love movies ; the great ones can be too rich and powerful to describe . 
watch l . a . confidential : after you leave the theater , you feel like you just watched a classic movie . 
that's why la confidential stands as the best movie of the year . 
l . a . confidential ( directed by curtis hanson . 
starring russell crowe , guy pierce , kevin spacey , james cromwell , and kim basinger . 
"
"1","capsule : bleak and point-blank -- just the way it should be . 
makes its case with cold-blooded precision and intelligence . 
 "" serial killer chic "" is a relatively new entry to the cultural vocabulary , and one of the more stomach-turning ones . 
i've never found someone automatically admirable or even interesting because they killed creatively or in great numbers , and because of that i had apprehensions about seeing henry . 
i wasn't sure i wanted to see the story of multiple murderer henry lee lucas portrayed as some kind of nihilistic hero/antihero . 
thankfully , that's not the way henry works . 
the director , john mcnaughton , took a small budget and a gallery of actor friends and created a chilling and intelligent piece of work . 
it doesn't provide cheap-jack explanations for henry's behavior : it shows him up for what he is , an unrepentant and un-idolizable man who killed when the mood struck him . 
at the film's opening , henry's friend ottis toole has a sister , who comes by to stay while she tries to find work in chicago . 
in a viciously riveting scene , he admits matter-of-factly to having murdered his own mother , and she covers his hand with hers . 
they are damned together from that moment on . 
henry and ottis eventually begin to kill for fun . 
the movie is especially good at showing how they seem to have drifted casually into it : there's a scene where the two go to buy a new tv . 
the pawnbroker they talk to goads henry with ugly words , and henry responds by stabbing the man to death with a soldering iron . 
no preface -- it smashes into us as suddenly as it does the broker . 
in a scene which many damned the movie for , unseen , they steal a video camera and film the murder of a whole household , playing it back over and over again for their own enjoyment . 
the movie itself , however , does not glorify the killings , but shows instead that henry feels no joy at his work , only irritation . 
henry succeeds thanks to excellent writing and direction as well as acting . 
michael rooker is credible as henry from the first frame , just standing there , and the rest of the cast works by being unaffected and casual as well . 
the producers had originally comissioned a slasher film from mcnaughton , but he decided to give them something more memorable , and consequently the film nearly didn't see release . 
the film does not glorify or justify -- it just shows us , with unflinching coldness , what henry was . 
i'm hard pressed to see how anyone can see this and consider henry any kind of "" victim "" or "" hero "" . 
then again , probably , so would henry . 
"
"1","you don't have to know poker to like "" rounders , "" but it might help . 
that a great deal of this sharp little drama is set in the back rooms of new york's cardshark underground astoundingly doesn't limit its accessibility , even for those who can't tell royal and straight flushes apart . 
 "" rounders "" ' success , then , is owed to its proficient cast and intriguing portrayal of a world not many viewers will be familiar with . 
the dialogue may be filled with terms that only true players will grasp , but you don't have to speak the language to understand the words - a statement that pretty much sums up the effectiveness of the whole show . 
matt damon , fresh off his "" good will hunting "" hot streak , is perfect for the role of mike mcdermott , a young law student with a tremendous gift for gambling . 
but after losing all of his tuition money in a killer high-stakes match with russian poker aficionado teddy kgb ( john malkovich , deliciously hammy ) , he shifts his focus to scholarly matters , leaving his true area of expertise far , far behind . 
things change , however , when mike's old buddy worm ( edward norton ) re-enters his life - it seems worm , just out of jail , owes a hefty sum to nasty thugs , and is counting on his friend's superlative skills to help him pay off the debt . 
that "" rounders "" ' story quickly molds itself into a conventional , predictable tale of redemption doesn't hinder its potency . 
director john dahl , infamous for his neo-noirs "" red rock west "" and "" the last seduction , "" gets extremely convincing mileage out of the been-there , done-that plot mechanics by trumping up the relationship between mike and worm . 
damon and norton bring so much to their roles that they'd be worth catching even if "" rounders "" ultimately folded , but the movie ups its fascinating ante by contrasting their wildly different ways of winning . 
any sequence where the two men sit at the table together is an unarguable highlight . 
if only the other character interaction was as successful , "" rounders "" might merit consideration when it comes time to number the year's best films . 
current "" it girl "" gretchen mol is sweetly appealing as mike's girlfriend jo , aware and weary of his seedy past , but her scenes with damon number too few to be very effective . 
john turturro's aging mentor and famke janssen's tempting siren , both interesting sketches , are hampered by the same limited screen time . 
and as a wizened judge , the great martin landau makes memorable a role that's mostly a plot device - he's on hand mostly to sort-of save the day and provide a voice for "" rounders "" ' moral . 
that moral , by the way , is "" our destiny chooses us , "" and it's something of a surprise when "" rounders "" supports this solemn proverb by eschewing the conclusion you might expect ; mike does learn from his mistake , but neither the mistake nor the way he learns from it is what it initially appears to be . 
in the end , "" rounders "" sees gambling as less a mere addiction than a potential art form , but the poker itself is only a metaphor for a much larger picture . 
the road to true fulfillment lies within the realization and exercising of your natural passions , the movie espouses , no matter what they might be . 
here , low-rent lowlifes like worm just aren't cut out for the cards . 
screenwriters david levien and brian koppelman entertain and educate in their quest to vividly render a culture that's often generalized by movies ; even complete poker neophytes should cross the line from observers to participants when the movie gets to its concluding game scene . 
inside every adventurous filmgoer , there is a desire to be taken someplace new and exciting , and that's the precise allure of "" rounders . "" 
it ultimately matters not that a few of our tour guides feel partially-realized or that the journey itself is cluttered with sites we've seen before , because the final destination is a satisfying one . 
in the end , "" rounders "" holds a winning hand . 
"
"1","melvin van peebles' "" sweet sweetback's baadasssss song "" was a watershed moment in the history of american cinema and the black movement . 
it was released less than a decade after the civil rights movement had begun and almost twenty years before the rodney king incident . 
its violent and highly sexualized revenge tale of a macho black hustler fighting back against white oppression and winning was something that had never been seen on an american movie screen before . 
in style , content , and how it was conceived and produced , "" sweet sweetback "" was a cinematic revolution , whether or not one agrees with its subject matter . 
van peebles , a black american who first gained recognition by writing novels in france , built "" sweet sweetback "" from the ground up almost entirely by himself . 
because no studio would dare fund such a film , he was forced to raise all the money himself . 
the movie ended up costing about $500 , 000 , part of which was put up by none other than bill cosby . 
van peebles cut costs by hiring non-union labor and taking on most of the film's responsibilities himself . 
he wrote the script , scored the music , edited and directed the film , as well as starred in the central role . 
he was also a brilliant entrepreneur who always found a way to make an extra buck . 
for instance , when the mppa slapped the film with a dreaded x-rating , van peebles not only threatened to bring a lawsuit against jack valenti and the mpaa , but he also developed a little marketing scheme : he coined the phrases "" rated x by an all-white jury , "" which he put on the movie posters to help advertise the film . 
he also printed the phrase on tee-shirts which he had no problem selling . 
the storyline in "" sweet sweetback "" is deceptively simple . 
it takes place in los angeles , and van peebles stars as the title character , a tough male hustler of few words who grew up in a brothel , and makes money by doing what he does best : having sex . 
one day , he agrees to go with a couple of amiable white cops down to the station to make it look like they're bringing in suspects on a politically-charged case involving murder . 
however , on the way to the station the cops arrest a young black revolutionary named mu-mu ( hubert scales ) , who they proceed to beat viciously . 
acting out of complete impulse rather than political motivation , sweetback fights back and beats the cops to the brink of death . 
the rest of the film follows sweetback as he evades the cops on his way to eventual escape in mexico . 
although the repetition of watching sweetback run gets a little old by the end of the film , this plot allows van peebles' camera to roam the darker side of l . a . - the ghettos , alleys , and back-street whorehouses that other films had always overlooked . 
van peebles' entire point in making the movie was to secure on celluloid a vision of the black experience in america that other filmmakers had ignored . 
at the beginning of "" sweet sweetback , "" he offers this epigraph , which is a traditional prologue used in medieval times when a messenger brought bad news : "" sire , these lines are not an homage to brutality that the artist has invented , but a hymn from the mouth of reality . . . "" 
van peebles wanted to make sure that his vision was one of reality , not of exaggeration . 
of course , with today's abundance of rap and hip hop music that sings the same ode to black inner-city life , as well as films by spike lee , john singleton , and the hughes brothers , "" sweet sweetback "" doesn't seem all that revolutionary . 
it is important to remember that this film must be viewed in the context and time period in which it was made . 
at that time , "" sweet sweetback "" was so controversial that only two theaters in the entire united states would play it . 
distributors were petrified of a film that , in van peebles' words , gave the black audience "" a chance to see some of their own fantasies acted out - about rising out of the mud and kicking ass . "" 
of course , once it caught on , it caught on big . 
 "" sweet sweetback "" is now considered to be the film that kicked off the blaxploitation era , although van peebles disassociates "" sweetback "" from other movies like "" shaft "" ( 1972 ) and "" the mack "" ( 1973 ) , because those were financed by big hollywood studios . 
 "" sweet sweetback "" is also the only film deemed mandatory viewing by the black panthers . 
however , even if when viewed from an african-american perspective , "" sweet sweetback "" is certainly not without its controversies . 
when it was first released , an article was published in "" ebony "" magazine denouncing the film , while at the same time the black panthers used an entire newsletter to praise it . 
there have been arguments that the victory for sweetback is really no victory at all - beating cops and then running away to mexico is nothing to be proud of . 
others have pointed out that sweetback has little to say throughout the film ; he has no political motivations , and therefore the violence and havoc he wreaks is not rooted in fundamental beliefs , but in personal and selfish motives . 
still others point to the clich ? black potency that stereotypes sweetback as being good at nothing but having sex , illustrated in a scene where he gains the respect of a white biker group by bringing their female leader to orgasm . 
nevertheless , a movie like "" sweet sweetback "" cannot be made without conflicting points of view . 
it is a revolutionary movie not because it's about one man's defiance , but because it put front-and-center black issues that had never been dealt with before . 
until that point , american cinema was an almost exclusively white domain , and with the exception of sidney poitier , all black actors were relegated to specifically black roles that were important only in relation to whites . 
the fact that "" sweet sweetback "" was a movie by black about blacks , was something new ( in the opening credits , van peebles lists the starring actors as simply "" the black community "" ) . 
van peebles tells an interesting story that goes a long way toward defining the difference between "" sweet sweetback "" and all movies that had come before it . 
when the movie first opened , he saw it in a theater next to an older woman . 
near the end of the film , when sweetback is wounded by the police and stumbling through the southern california desert , she kept saying to herself , "" oh lord , let him die . 
don't let them kill him . 
let him die on his own . "" 
it was so ingrained in her mind that death was imminent for any african-american in a movie who rebelled against white authority , that she couldn't even conceive of the possibility that the film might end with his successful escape . 
and , of course , sweetback does escape , and the screen fills with the message : "" watch out ! 
a baad asssss nigger is coming back to collect some dues . "" 
beyond the political aspects , "" sweet sweetback "" is an entertaining picture , which van peebles always intended it to be . 
he squeezed every drop out of his limited budget , and produced a film that , although dated now , was technically fantastic at the time . 
he shot in rough , documentary-like fashion , while also utilizing almost every visual and aural trick his technology would allow him . 
he makes good use of older techniques like split screens , freeze frames , reversed color schemes , and overlapping images . 
the only time the film ever looks bad is during the night sequences , because van peebles simply did not have the needed equipment . 
watching "" sweet sweetback "" more than twenty-five years after its initial release , one realizes that it still has bite . 
arguments can be made that race relations in the united states have made quantum leaps since the early seventies , but there are still problems that are reflected in this film . 
but there is more to the film than its racial aspect . 
the legacy of "" sweet sweetback's baadasssss song "" is not only the plentiful amount of art and music told from the african-american perspective , but more importantly , the work of every artist who has fought to fund and produce that which is important to him . 
"
"1","there seem to be two reactions to dark city . 
you either love it or you are unimpressed . 
count me as a "" love it . "" 
as good as the crow and spawn are , dark city is better . 
where the former two have a specific comic-book following , the latter is an original work with the potential for broader appeal . 
it has a similar look to the others , but dark city is much more thoughtful and much less violent . 
not clever or complex , the story is still fascinating , like a selection from the twilight zone . 
a man ( rufus sewell ) is awakened in his bathtub by a man with a syringe . 
surprised , the attacker runs off . 
the dazed man gets out of the tub and finds a woman's body in the room . 
a mysterious caller warns him to leave the apartment immediately , so he packs some clothes and leaves , never sure why he's leaving or what he's fleeing . 
ghoulish figures in long coats recognize the man and chase him through the dark city , hounding him like figures in a nightmare . 
an odd blast of willpower allows the man to dream himself free from his pursuers long enough to check his i . d . 
the amnesiac learns that he is not dreaming and that his name is john murdoch . 
now if only he could remember the rest of his life . . . . 
dark city is good on many levels . 
first , the look of the movie is excellent . 
give credit to production designers george liddle and patrick tatopolous for creating a coherent look from diverse elements . 
there are visual elements from the american 1920s-60s , mixed with dickens-era urban industrial elements . 
it is all pulled together in a sad , dark look reminiscent of the diner in edward hopper's painting , nighthawks . 
proyas' use of models gives an appropriately eerie unreality to the film's world ( for not only does the audience see the city a model , but so do the ghouls ) . 
the look is like a cross between tim burton's batman and the bleak animation of the brothers quay . 
second , the editing of the film is good . 
the pacing is on track , and the plot is revealed , the "" amnesia "" explained , in satisfying increments . 
also , the stylized editing within each scene gives the movie a tense , caffeinated look . 
third , the special effects are well used . 
they look good , but more importantly , the right effects are used for the right job . 
one example stands out in my mind : the coated figures who haunt the city can attack telekinetically . 
a simple ripple effect is used . 
a more showy effect could have been chosen , but then it would have just been gratuitous . 
restraint was shown where necessary , letting the more critical effects look more impressive . 
finally , like gattaca , dark city spends a just a little effort striving for mythical significance . 
unlike gattaca , the story is just open-ended and non-literal enough to be successful . 
john murdoch's recovery from amnesia is tied to the passing of the night , and the hopeful coming of the dawn . 
his struggle with amnesia is both figuratively and literally the struggle of all mankind ( at least in his world ) . 
when we finally see the big picture of the movie's world , it is as mysterious as the iroquois image of the world being carried on the back of a giant turtle . 
a few minor flaws keep me from giving this movie the same perfect score roger ebert gave , but i do strongly recommend it , for its look , its pace , its story , and its timelessness . 
"
"1","for the first reel of girls town , you just can't get over lili taylor . 
is it possible to remain unperturbed that a woman of this age is playing a high school student ? 
harder still , can you avoid astonishment at how perfect she is in the part ? 
with the sure , showy expertise of a de niro , taylor imbues unwed mother patti with all the faux fuck-you confidence she can muster . 
it's a deeply felt , dead-on performance , and by the halfway point you've forgiven taylor her own maturity . 
for all its verite pretenses , girls town is less about a bunch of high-schoolers than it is about a movie director and a cadre of writer-performers examining their own feelings about rape , relationships , and american womanhood . 
the movie's opening scenes sketch an easy friendship between a group of four smart/sassy high school outsiders on the verge of graduation : patti , angela ( bruklin harris ) , emma ( anna grace ) , and nikki ( aunjanue ellis ) . 
but about 10 minutes into the film , we get word that nikki has swallowed a fistful of pills and bowed out of life . 
the remaining girls manage to smug nikki's diary out of her grieving mother's home , and page through it at patti's place , investigating the root of nikki's despair . 
what they find is cruel and galvanizing -- nikki had been raped by an editor at a newspaper where she interned , and was privately questioning the sanity and value of a world where such a thing could happen . 
shell-shocked by the truth of the matter , the three girls begin to talk among themselves and come to a realization about their own lives . 
emma says she was raped last year on a date with a football player . 
patti's barely sympathetic , wondering what the hell emma thought she was doing with her shirt off in a jock's car . 
and anyway , patti's had her own share of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer . 
pained , acrimonious debate ensues as the trio grow more and more angry -- angry about the impossibility of saying no , and angry with themselves for being weak , for being naive , for putting up with it . 
 "" why do we put up with it ? "" 
emma finally asks , once the argument has reached a fever pitch . 
 "" we try to talk about it , and look what happens . 
we fight for 20 minutes . "" 
there's the admirable crux of this picture . 
girls town is a political film , in that it calls for action . 
but it's incomplete-it's never quite sure how to justify that action , or what form it should take . 
the trio become crusaders for their right to dignity , and it's surely one of this year's most stirring movie moments when emma lobs a concrete block through the passenger-side window of that damn jock's car ( doing the right thing ? ) . 
they hang out in the bathroom , chatting incessantly and scrawling slogans and naming names on the door to a toilet stall . 
 "" subvert the patriarchy , "" emma writes , and then starts a hall of shame list underneath that other students begin to contribute to . 
the girls silence their hecklers , take revenge on the deadbeat father of patti's child , and eventually come face-to-face with nikki's tormentor . 
still , the movie has a desperately unfinished quality , and none of these subsequent exploits is particularly satisfying . 
 ( you keep waiting for someone to call the cops on these brazen girls , but nobody thinks of it . ) 
perhaps searching for a resolution missing from the material at hand , the film borrows its epigraphs from audre lorde and queen latifah ( "" who you callin' a bitch ? "" ) . 
the points are well taken , but they should have been unnecessary . 
long on characterization but a little short on story , girls town is less than it could have been , and too self-congratulatory for my own taste . 
director jim mckay is best known as a consort of r . e . m . 's 
michael stipe ( he directed the nearly unwatchable tourfilm for that band ) , and girls town is his first foray into feature filmmaking . 
the movie was created and scripted by committee , but mckay and his lead performers had to shoot on a shoestring when , predictably , the group couldn't secure funding . 
then again , girls town on a budget would hardly be the same film . 
the movie's slapdash quality is key to its significance . 
truth be told , all three of the leads look too wise for high school , but that's ok -- there's a once-removed quality to their fine , spontaneous performances , as the women take a very skillful look back at the girls they once were , the girls they wish they had been , or some combination . 
for all its flaws , this one gets extra points for having its uncertain head and heart in the same noble place . 
"
"1"," "" the fighting sullivans "" contains a major plot development in the last ten minutes that every movie guide has seen fit to give away . 
there was no dramatic tension for me while watching the film , as i knew exactly what was going to happen . 
and that's the worst thing that can happen before viewing a movie . 
because of this , i will tread lightly so i don't ruin it for anyone reading this review , and it would be very advisable to avoid all other material regarding this film until after you have seen it . 
 "" the fighting sullivans "" revolves around a family that consists of a mother , father , sister , and five brothers . 
the brothers are very close , despite the occasional disagreement . 
they are inseperable , and never stray from one another . 
their friendship and loyalty is the foundation of this picture . 
the first half of the movie follows the brothers as young children , and their various adventures . 
when four of them get into a fight with some local boys , the youngest sullivan , who is inside a church at the time , comes running out to assist , but not before properly exiting the chapel . 
if i'm being awfully vague about details , it's because what i have told you is essentially the first hour and a half . 
all i can say is go watch this film , because it is a fine portrait of a family that sticks together , through the good and the bad . 
and after you see the movie , you will understand why this review has been written the way it has . 
"
"1","big courtroom thrillers have always captivated america . 
o . j . 
simpson , tom capano , the menendez brothers . 
all these names are synonymous to americans and courtrooms . 
and , of course , courtroom dramas are not a new topic to hollywood . 
whether it be john grisham's thrilling novels or television's famous dramas , the courtroom has always provided big bucks . 
so when i rented a civil action , i was expecting the film to be like the rainmaker , a brilliant law film that kept viewers on the edge of their seat . 
however , what i saw in a civil action was far different from what i expected , a major surprise , but fortunately , a pleasant one . 
john travolta always seems to come up big when you least expect it . 
no one expected him to light up the screen in grease , nor in saturday night fever . 
but , whenever he gets knocked down , he always seems to come back fighting . 
a civil action is not john's best performance , but a strong one that could rival any performance in 1998 . 
travolta proves that a normal and believable performance can vault a film into oscar nominations . 
his performance is not flashy , nor memorable , just solid . 
if he delivered the only solid performance , this film would still be average . 
luckily , he has a strong supporting cast . 
william h . macy is probably one of the most underrated actors in hollywood . 
he continues to deliver great performances one after the other , but he is still regarded as a secondary actor . 
in a civil action , he delivers yet another great performance as travolta's paranoid and greedy accountant . 
he is not a lovable character , but a character who stands out in your mind whenever you think of the film . 
he is not one of the big time lawyers , just a measly accountant . 
but , he delivers one of the best supporting roles of 1998 , but there is actually someone better in a civil action . 
robert duvall is also an underrated actor . 
he gets many leading roles , but is never heard when you hear of big box office draws like tom hanks , brad pitt and jim carrey . 
duvall has a supporting role in this as a lawyer of the co-defendant . 
duvall is magical in this role . 
he is the wise teacher , who not only battles it out in the courtroom , but also manages to teach every major player a lesson , in his own twisted way . 
in many non-comedic films , directors are always trying to find a way to implement a touch of comedy , to keep the audience on their toes . 
unfortunately , they usually just key in on one character whose main objective is to be funny ( jar-jar binks , anyone ? ) . 
however , this usually backfires because the character is never fully developed . 
this is not the case in a civil action . 
they have comedy coming from all sides . 
whether it be duvall's inane questions or macy's sharp anger , the laughs come in a steady pace . 
granted , it's not roll in the aisle funny , but it provides a nice addition to the film . 
the plot is terrific- somewhat . 
the setup is nice with the film actually starting with a victory in the courtroom . 
then the case that will make or break jan ( travolta ) 's career rears its ugly head . 
they find out the goldmine involved with the case and wind up taking it . 
however , budgets soon flounder and jan finds himself in deep debt . 
i will not spoil the rest , although i must speak of the one downside to the film . 
the courtroom debates are great , but the actual problem they are fighting for is never fully explored . 
it left me somewhat confused , although the rest of the film is terrific . 
all in all , john travolta is back yet again in this great film . 
his supporting cast , consisting of macy and duvall , turn in tremendous performances , which ease the load on travolta . 
the film is smart , witty and thought provoking . 
not only does it gauge in-court battles , but also the various tolls it can take on the major players . 
a civil action provides everything a drama lover craves . 
"
"1","time bandits , from director terry gilliam , is a very different fantasy action/adventure movie about a group of time-traveling dwarves , led by randall ( david rappaport ) , who have stolen a map of the universe . 
this map contains time hole , that , if exploited , enable the men to travel back and forth through time . 
the supreme being of the universe ( ralph richardson ) is the former employer of these treasure-seeking bandits , and he wishes desperately to regain the map . . 
during the travels , he appears as a ghostly face , demanding that they return the map that they have stolen . 
but , according to randall , they are just "" borrowing "" it . 
kevin , a young boy who seems quite bored with his life , is unexpectedly brought into the schemes of the little men when they appear in his room , which has a portal for time traveling . 
he joins up with the men and becomes part of their gang , following them on their robberies . 
their first victim is napoleon ( ian holm ) , whom they rob during a battle that he is commanding . 
from here , the group travels to the middle ages , meeting up with robin hood himself . 
eventually , kevin is separated from the group and travels to an egyptian time where he is taken in by king agamemnon , played by sean connery . 
kevin accidentally saved the king's life , and the king wishes to have kevin as his son . 
but the group of bandits find kevin and transport onto the deck of the titanic . 
meanwhile , the evil genius ( david warner ) is watching the group from fortress of ultimate darkness , attempting to find a way in order to bring the men , and the map , to him . 
when randall learns of the fortress of ultimate darkness , which supposedly contains "" the most fabulous object in the world "" , the dollar signs seemingly appear on his eyes , as he is convinced that they must travel there . 
once inside the fortress of ultimate darkness , it is unclear as to if any of the men will make it out alive . 
time bandits is a fantastically made film that caters to the imagination of anyone . 
with a terrific soundtrack , courtesy of george harrison , whom also was an executive producer , time bandits is sure to be a very surrealistic , time-traveling adventure with unforgettable characters that is sure to entertain anyone . 
terry gilliam , however , does not utilize that greatly his trademark ability in moviemaking during this film , although this does not affect the film that greatly . 
and finally , if you liked labyrinth , you'll love time bandits . 
"
"1","it seemed wholly appropriate that at a weekend screening of "" the horse whisperer , "" the start of the film was delayed some twenty minutes due to "" projection difficulties . "" 
robert redford's film version of nicholas evans' best-selling novel was supposed to have been in theaters last december , going head-to-head with "" titanic , "" but is only now making its much anticipated debut . 
this ( strategic ? ) 
delay has allowed "" the horse whisperer "" to compete , sans fanfare , against some smaller , unassuming movies during a relatively slower time at the box office . 
no matter . 
redford's film stands head and shoulders above james cameron's ocean-going tragedy , especially in the writing and acting departments . 
whatever the reasons for its postponement , "" the horse whisperer "" supports the old adage "" better late than never . "" 
redford has taken evans' book and given it the big screen treatment . 
while parts of "" the horse whisperer "" are epic in scope and vision , especially the aerial "" travelogue "" that maps out this great country of ours , its real strength lies in the subtleties it uses to paint the fragile alliance between man and beast . 
when her daughter , grace , is involved in a terrible riding accident , hard-driven fashion editor annie maclean ( kristin scott thomas ) devotes herself to rehabilitating both grace and grace's beloved horse , pilgrim . 
refusing to have the hideously disfigured animal put down , annie researches every possible source of information about equine cures before discovering an article about a faith-healing cowboy of sorts called tom booker ( redford ) , who has a way with horses and , perhaps , with people too . 
undeterred by tom's initial reluctance to get involved , annie drives grace and a sedated pilgrim across country to meet him , and finally persuades tom to work with the uncontrollable animal . 
redford's film unfolds slowly and lovingly , echoing the patience required in healing both physical and psychological wounds . 
the film's a little long and , even if you haven't read the book , it's pretty obvious where it's heading--but these are minor complaints . 
redford and thomas are strong and convincing as the couple drawn by a mutual affection for the great outdoors and each other , but it's scarlett johansson as grace who shines in a more difficult role . 
dianne wiest , chris cooper ( "" lone star "" ) , and sam neill--better than i've seen him before--round out the respectable supporting cast . 
and the director's respect for horses is clearly in evidence . 
one word of warning , however : while brilliantly shot , the accident scene , involving an out-of-control truck , is extremely disturbing . 
redford's canvas is huge and exquisite . 
he doesn't hesitate to incorporate vast , sprawling vistas of the american northwest : spectacular , snow-capped mountain ranges , azure skies , and shimmering fields of wheat--all are resplendent in cinematographer robert richardson's viewfinder . 
veteran english composer john barry was originally signed to score the film but left the project which is a pity , since "" the horse whisperer "" is "" dances with wolves "" by way of "" out of africa "" ( oscar winners both for barry ) . 
fortunately , barry's replacement , thomas newman , contributes a fine score that nicely balances the majesty of montana with the delicate , human conditions--sonorous , string-laden passages that swell with pride playing counterpoint to more poetic , introspective movements ripe with nuance . 
 "" the horse whisperer "" is that rare kind of movie : it looks good , it feels good , and by golly it does you good . 
the wait , it turns out , was well worth it . 
"
"1","charlie sheen stars as zane , a radio astronomer who listens for sounds from other lifeforms . 
when he finally gets one , his boss destroys the tape and fires him . 
naturally , zane is not ready to give up , and he comes up with an ingenious way to do this himself . 
he is aided by a young neighborhood kid and they discover that the sound is coming from mexico . 
so zane goes down there to investigate , and runs into a lady studying why the temperature of the earth has dangerously risen so suddenly . 
zane is having marital problems at the time , and an offer by her to spend the night with him is very tempting . 
hearing charlie sheen deliver the line , "" i guess there is something to be said for celibacy "" is the funniest thing i have ever heard in a movie since matthew broderick discussed asexual reproduction in wargames . 
this is just the setup , and i don't want to give too much away , because a large part of the movies fun is the surprises . 
charlie sheen , who has had a rocky career as of late , is in top form here . 
he is funny , serious , and determined to accomplish his goal . 
sheen's absolutely terrific performance is another big plus to this movie . 
the story is ingeniously devised by twohy , who also wrote and directed the equally clever cable movie grand tour : disaster in time . 
the films major flaw is a very slow pace , and not much happens in the earlygoings . 
viewers may be growing restless for a while , but trust me if you stick around and keep your head in it , you will have a good time . 
"
"1","field of dreams almost defies description . 
although it's about baseball , it's not a baseball movie . 
although the film is extremely spiritual , it's not about religion . 
and although field of dreams is melodramatic , it's not a tearjerker . 
to really understand what field of dreams is all about , you have to see it . 
in the film , kevin costner plays ray kinsella , a baseball fan , '60s berkeley graduate , and iowa farmer . 
one day as he is standing in the middle of his expansive corn fields , ray hears a voice ; it tells him : "" if you build it , he will come . "" 
then ray has a vision and somehow concludes that if he builds a baseball field in the middle of his corn , shoeless joe jackson will arise from the dead to play ball once again . 
and even though it depletes his family's savings and his neighbors think he's crazy , ray clears away the corn and builds a baseball field , complete with bleachers and flood lights . 
 "" if you build it , he will come . "" 
and lo and behold , shoeless joe does come--bringing with him several of his dead teammates . 
and then ray hears the voice again ; it tells him to "" ease his pain . "" 
ray thinks this means that he must travel to boston to meet terence mann , an influential and radical novelist from the '60s who has since stopped writing and dropped out of society . 
with great aplomb , james earl jones plays the disillusioned author who joins forces with ray and embarks with him on a magical and spiritual journey . 
the cast in field of dreams is excellent , especially kevin costner in the lead role . 
costner gives a quiet , subtle , and moving performance as a man who before building the baseball field had done nothing crazy or spontaneous in his entire life . 
costner gives ray just the right mix of enthusiasm and idealism to make us believe in his mystic visions and swallow this wondrous fairy tale . 
amy madigan gives a fine supporting performance as ray's feisty and loving wife , who against her better judgement supports her husband's crazy ideas . 
in her most impressive scene , madigan vehemently argues against book burning at a p . t . a . 
meeting , displaying the sincere passion of a '60s berkeley radical . 
ray liotta is appropriately eerie and awe-inspiring as the ghost of shoeless joe , the legendary batter who was suspended from baseball for his involvement in the 1919 chicago "" black sox "" scandal . 
and finally , burt lancaster is memorable in a small , but important , role as a small town doctor whose professional baseball career was limited to only one inning . 
field of dreams is a touching fairy tale full of life , wonder , mystery , spirit , and humor . 
it , for the most part , succeeds in capturing our emotions and suspending our disbelief . 
ray kinsella's spiritual quest in pursuit of his dreams proves to be moving and miraculous . 
but while field of dreams generally avoids excessive melodrama , it unfortunately does at times go overboard , and by the end it gets down-right sappy . 
in general , however , field of dreams is an emotionally satisfying fantasy--one i can recommend to everyone but unromantic cynics . 
"
"1","making a sequel to a widely beloved film is a weighty proposition indeed , especially when the first film is considered by many to be a masterpiece . 
when it comes to living up to expectations , a filmmaker is almost doomed to some degree of failure . 
for a sequel to live up to or even surpass the original's greatness is very rare indeed . 
and whereas "" babe : pig in the city "" misses equaling the greatness of its best picture nominated predecessor babe , it is a worthy companion piece . 
more than that , it is a spectacular work of art that deserves to stand alone in its own right . 
 "" babe : pig in the city "" warrants the classification of being recognized with such classics like "" the godfather : part ii "" and "" the empire strikes back "" as being one of the greatest sequels ever produced . 
 "" babe : pig in the city "" picks up precisely where "" babe "" left off . 
having won the sheep herding competition , farmer hoggett ( james cromwell ) and his pig are elevated to fame status . 
a series of unfortunate circumstances and hilariously freakish events leads to mrs . hoggett taking babe from the small country farm into the big city . 
in doing so , the film transports us into a wonderfully imaginative world that simultaneously mirrors and exceeds the creative design seen in the original . 
 "" babe : pig in the city "" flourishes where so many sequels fail . 
most sequels simply rehash the events of the first film . 
not "" babe : pig in the city "" . 
this is a completely original tale that offers up a story drastically different than the first . 
also , by not being content to utilize most of the old characters , this film gives us many new ones to enjoy . 
in essence , it doesn't attempt to copy itself . 
instead , it strives to achieve an originality of its own . 
and it succeeds . 
that's not to say the familiar is absent . 
 "" babe : pig in the city "" retains some of the best core elements and characters from the first film . 
along with babe himself , ferdinand the duck comes along for the ride , as does mrs . hoggett ( one of this decade's best and most underappreciated comic characterizations , hilariously performed by magda szubanski ) . 
the three singing mice also make the journey , chiming in with their cute high-pitched vocals . 
the story structure is also similar as each segment is introduced with title cards read by the aforementioned mice . 
from there , we are guided once again by roscoe lee browne's soothingly deep narrative . 
composer nigel westlake also returns with his whimsical music style that is perfect for cinematic fables such as these . 
but these elements are simply the frame that surrounds an entirely new painting . 
while staying at the flealands hotel , babe encounters a veritable ark-full of new animals . 
monkeys , kittens , and dogs of various breeds and sizes are some of the new "" urbanites "" that babe befriends , as well as some wonderfully comical pelicans that ferdinand the duck happens to encounter . 
each character is distinctly unique , some of which are imbued with personal human-like struggles that are endearing and touching . 
and while this world focuses largely on these animals , we are introduced to two new human characters as well . 
mary stein plays the owner of the flealands hotel , an animal-loving young spinster who harbors these lost creatures much to the dismaying anger of her fellow neighbors . 
stein's landlady is a wonderfully odd caricature . 
we also meet fugly floom , an old soft-spoken clown who owns many of the animals in the flealands hotel , utilizing them as a part of the act that he performs at different parties and functions . 
not having known who portrayed fugly floom prior to seeing the film , it came as an unexpected pleasant surprise to see who it was . 
so as not to ruin this well-kept secret , i won't reveal the actor's identity here . 
it was a treat indeed to see one of cinema's legends grace the screen again in what was a superbly gentle and heartwarming performance . 
the greatest triumph of "" babe : pig in the city "" is the art direction . 
simply put--it bleeds creativity , taking the look of the original film to a whole new level . 
restricted primarily to a farm the first time around , this second installment creates an entire city , dazzling us with unique fable-like architecture . 
but the stroke of pure genius by production designer roger ford is his use of our world's architectural landmarks . 
designing a skyline that includes the statue of liberty , the sydney opera house , the brooklyn bridge , the hollywood sign and the eiffel tower , ford has created a singular city that encompasses all of our cities ( as seen in the film photo and pre-production drawing to your right ) . 
added to that , many of this city's streets are the twin siblings of venice's gondola-trekked rivers . 
the metropolis that has sprung from ford's vision is a wondrous sight to behold . 
it is a world that you want to walk around in . 
norma moriceau's costume designs belong in this world , vibrant in color and style equal to that of the ford's landscape . 
most of the costumes are imaginatively cartoonish , with the most exotically grand design going to that of fugly floom's clown outfit . 
andrew lesnie's photography captures these elements with various lighting moods that are beautifully effective in creating the film's multiple emotional tones . 
much press fodder has been made over the weeks leading up to the release of "" babe : pig in the city "" . 
reports stated that its original cut was branded with a pg-13 rating . 
these reports were discovered to be false as it was assigned a pg rating . 
but even so , to be anything harsher than the original' s g rating had many parents and fans up in arms . 
by deleting a minimal number of shots , "" babe : pig in the city "" was eventually given the coveted g rating . 
although appeased , many fans were still concerned that it would be too dark , fearing that the film may have come to be possessed by tim burton himself . 
well , to coin a phrase , the reports of "" babe : pig in the city "" 's death at the hands of a dark , scary , felliniesque interpretation have been greatly exaggerated . 
granted it has its moments of pseudo-morbidity , but all-in-all "" babe : pig in the city "" is the funny and charming adventure that everyone was hoping it would be . 
whatever "" dark "" moments it may have can be attributed to director george miller ( the "" mad max "" trilogy , "" the witches of eastwick "" , "" lorenzo's oil "" ) . 
having served as a producer and co-writer on the first film , miller moves into the director's chair for this one , putting his own unique sense of style into this budding franchise . 
the story of "" babe : pig in the city "" is an enchanting yarn , but one that doesn't achieve the emotional or character depth of the original . 
missing here is the attempt to broach such heady themes as personal identity , an individual's worth , challenging conformity , and one's purpose in life . 
 "" babe "" dealt with this weighty subject matter , creating a timeless fable . 
 "" babe : pig in the city "" should not have rehashed these themes , but i do wish it would have attempted to explore new ones . 
this film is not bereft of moral or message as it parallels such issues as urban strife , class differences , sacrificial courage , and so on . 
but this film's goals aren't as lofty as the first's , instead choosing to take a more straightforward approach , allowing its themes to take a back seat to an exciting , sometimes intense , fable adventure that is undeniably clever and inventive . 
 "" babe : pig in the city "" also decides against developing a relationship to the level of which was present in the first film , specifically the one between farmer hoggett and babe . 
hoggett's love for babe , which grew ever so gently , is what gave that film its charming and endearing quality . 
best exemplified in hoggett's dance for babe , this moving relationship was truly unique . 
it is something that i wish would have been present again ( and could have through fugly floom ) , but was not . 
please understand , these are not negative criticisms , per se' , but simply statements of what i see as the differences between "" babe : pig in the city "" being a very good film and the original being a great one . 
but having said that , these observations are minor critiques at best . 
as an overall piece , "" babe : pig in the city "" is a thoroughly enchanting and entertaining fable from beginning to end . 
sure , it isn't a great film , but it is an excellent one that possesses elements of greatness . 
it is a film that is magical with its charm and humor , exciting in its adventurous exploits , funny with its dry wit and cute voices , and breathtaking in its presentation . 
 "" babe : pig in the city "" may not be moviemaking at its absolute best , but it is on level of cinematic quality that is rarely achieved or seen in cinema . 
as a result , if you choose to let this film pass you by , you will be missing of the year's best cinematic treats . 
"
"1","let me first say that the conditions that i was forced to watch the matrix under were less than ideal . 
so i have tried to be as fair as possible considering that my viewing experience was significantly less than ideal . 
i watched the matrix in a theater that is in serious need of upgrades at the best of times . 
under no circumstances , should it have ever been allowed to show a big budget special effects laden film like the matrix . 
this theater , owned by the parent company of one of hollywood's biggest studios , hasn't even graduated into stereo sound yet . 
the mono sound that the audience was subjected to sounded as if it was coming out of a speaker that was many years past mandatory retirement age . 
in other words , the sound sucked . 
as someone used to digital sound in a movie theater , bad sound doesn't do anything to add to a film . 
i'm not even going to go into the horrible splicing job that the projectionist did putting this film together . 
there , i've had my rant , now on with the regularly scheduled review . 
which sadly won't include commentary on the film's sound which i'm assuming was spectacular , but i'm just guessing . 
my guess on the sound seems like a fairly solid one considering the visual quality of the matrix . 
it is nothing short of stunning visually . 
sadly , the rest of the film , while pretty good , doesn't quite measure up to the obvious effort that was expended on making this film look so darn good . 
the matrix has at it's core a good concept , although it strays into the confusing side more often than i would have liked . 
keanu reeves plays a computer hacker who is drawn into the frightening realization that reality is just a hoax . 
it turns out that that many years ago the world was devastated by some sort of disaster . 
now machines run the planet and humans spend their lives in a sort of incubator , plugged into a computer network . 
the computers are generating a virtual reality world which is a representation of the earth before it was destroyed . 
the population of the planet never realizes that their entire life is a hoax and that they really spend their entire lives as comatose . 
that is except a small band who have discovered this horrible secret and have escaped their virtual prisons . 
they now spend their lives combating the computers in an effort to expose this lie . 
reeve's character , neo , is recruited by this band of rebels led by morpheus ( laurence fishburne ) . 
newcomer carrie-anne moss and one of hollywood's most underrated actors , joe pantoliano , join fishburne in the band of freedom-fighters . 
the action sequences are nothing short of spectacular . 
this can be attributed as much to the amazing special effects as to many of the actor's extensive pre-production training in martial arts . 
this lends itself to some of the best martial arts sequences that you are ever likely to see in a film . 
when you add this to some of the wild effects in the computer generated world , it all adds up to an eyeful . 
as i already said , the visuals far outpace the rest of the film . 
acting in the matrix is not bad , but it certainly isn't real good either . 
keanu reeves gives his usual fairly emotionless performances . 
although to his credit , it is one of his better performances . 
laurence fishburne on the other hand often seemed to forget that he was in a sci-fi action film . 
more than a few times he delivered his lines as if he thought he was performing in some sort of shakespearean drama . 
joe pantoliano was a little under used in this film but he made the most with what he had . 
carrie-anne moss turned out a surprisingly good performance for this her first feature film role . 
it's nice to see that she was cast as much for her talent as for her breathtaking looks . 
you have to give all of the main actors a healthy dose of credit for the work that they obviously put into the physical training for their roles in this film . 
it was clear that no small effort went into getting the moves down perfectly for the fighting sequences . 
i also put much of the blame for the somewhat strained performances in the matrix on the dialogue , which was terrible at times . 
in more than a few places it got way too existential for my liking and at other times it was just plain weird . 
it almost seems as though the writers were having a difficult time trying to figure out how to explain the concept for the movie . 
so they decided to make the dialogue as obtuse as possible so that no one could figure out what the heck they were talking about . 
thereby covering up any leaps of faith that they may have had to make in the departments of logic and believability . 
my other major complaint with the matrix was with the very unsatisfying ending . 
the setup for it was hokey and frankly used in many a bad film before . 
the ending itself was just plain strange . 
the main reasons to recommend the matrix are the visual effects and computer animation which make this a real treat to watch . 
while the rest of the film ( acting , dialogue and to a degree plot ) detract from the high production values , they don't detract enough to prevent me from recommending the matrix as a fun way to spend an evening . 
"
"1","alchemy is steeped in shades of blue . 
kieslowski's blue , that is . 
with its examination of death , isolation , character restoration , and recovery from loss , suzanne myers' new independent film echoes the polish director's internationally-acclaimed 1993 release . 
language aside , the principal difference between the films is that , while kieslowski took great pains to draw us into the main character's world , alchemy keeps its viewers at arm's length . 
as a result , while we're able to appreciate the film's intellectual tapestry , it is emotionally distant . 
alchemy is divided into three chapters : "" charity "" , "" faith "" , and "" hope "" . 
while there are common themes and story elements running through all three , the single constant is the main character , a sculptor/russian translator named louisa ( rya kihlstedt ) . 
when the film opens , she's living with her painter boyfriend , whom she believes to be cheating on her . 
following his sudden death in an automobile accident , louisa's life is thrown into turmoil . 
events swirls around her , and she can't find a source of stability . 
in her quest to make sense out of her loss , she befriends her late boyfriend's mistress , visits her ill sister , and , eventually , abandons her old life by joining a "" back-to- nature "" cult . 
alchemy successfully explores a variety of compelling issues . 
in addition to asking the basic question of how a person should cope with the unexpected death of a loved one , it probes beneath the surface of concepts like the importance of faith in the healing process , the meaning of love , and the nature of art . 
does personality restoration come through interacting with others or escaping from the familiar ? 
are artistic epiphanies the result of focused solitude or of living life , with all of its various distractions , to the fullest ? 
myers' challenge is to make these subjects , art film staples , engrossing in a new context . 
through louisa's struggles , she succeeds . 
while alchemy isn't always emotionally appealing , it never loses its fascination . 
even when we're not connecting with louisa , who is often more of a locus for ideas than a fully-developed personality , there's enough material on-screen to hold our attention . 
the cinematography is stunning . 
city scenes are tinted with blue , adding a cold , bleak dimension to the film's early portions . 
later , when louisa reaches the "" wilderness "" , we're treated to a dazzling array of autumnal splendor -- brightly-colored leaves in the trees and on the ground . 
it's a startling-but-effective visual contrast that emphasizes the changes taking place in louisa's life as she travels the road back to emotional stability . 
the title refers to the practice of a group of mystical faith- healers who use "" alchemy "" to provide for the needs of the body and soul . 
and , although louisa partakes of their peculiar brand of medicine , it's ultimately love and companionship , not alchemy , that brings solace . 
her pain is assuaged only when she lets go of the belief that the inherent safety of being alone is life's ultimate goal . 
even though louisa's final transformation lacks the impact it could have possessed had she been a more vital character , it's still an intriguing and enlightening process to watch . 
alchemy isn't pure magic , but , especially during its best moments , it's close . 
"
"1","who would have thought ? 
jim carrey does drama . 
when i first saw the advertisement for the truman show , i thought , "" what a hilarious idea for a movie ! "" 
however , it was an even better premise for a drama . 
the truman show takes us into a world that revolves around one man . 
that man is truman burbank ( jim carrey ) . 
truman has no clue what is really going on in his world and frankly , cristof wants to keep it that way . 
christof is the "" god "" of this made-up world . 
he keeps everything running and gives the actors their roles . 
there were a few attempts to tell truman about his world , but they failed and life went on as normal . 
the opening parts of the film introduce to truman's world . 
we see what he is doing at his current age , then we get a flashback at his past . 
it may seem a tad boring , but it is so intriguing that you will fall in love with the film right from the start . 
the film can be described in one word : weird . 
it seems like such a simple idea , yet it is something that a majority of us would never think of , but andrew niccol did . 
it seems like a warped idea , but it is andrew's idea and he did wonders with it . 
jim carrey actually lived up to the hype . 
the hype , whether good or bad , always focused on carrey's ability to do drama . 
no one doubted how extraordinary this film could be , the only thing they doubted was carrey . 
and he showed them all up . 
jim carrey was snubbed at the oscars . 
i do not think he was the best actor , but he deserved the nomination . 
he plays truman burbank , the unsuspecting star of the most popular television show in the world . 
he has lived a normal life for almost thirty years , but then strange things start happening . 
he ventures into the wrong elevator . 
a light crashes in front of him . 
his father comes back and is then pulled away . 
we are constantly teased with all of this and we know it is a show , but truman does not . 
and it is just a constant progression that never gets sluggish . 
carrey is able to shed his comedy to play a major role in a major drama . 
laura linney is magnificent as the camera hungry wife . 
she plays her role as advertiser and budding star to a point . 
peter weir does not make the cast perfect , and their flaws eventually lead to truman's escape . 
the story unfolds until the show becomes too big and everything crashes down . 
despite carrey's greatness , the best performance in the truman show undoubtedly is turned in by ed harris , who plays the "" god "" of truman's world . 
he displays the pressure he is under , the world he has created . 
he becomes so paranoid that he believes he is a god and that truman has him to thank for his sham of a life . 
the action moves at a good pace , and rarely gets sluggish . 
but , the main point of the film is how it looks like a television show . 
it really makes you think . 
maybe your brother is an actor , maybe your best friend is in heated contract negotiations to stay on the show . 
some of the best parts of the film are when truman ventures into the wrong elevator and sees cast members drinking coffee and talking . 
or when truman tunes into the wrong station and hears orders being said for truman's arrival . 
and when christof focuses in on truman and cues the dramatic music as marlon ( noah emmerich ) delivers his dramatic line . 
all of these ideas are just perfect for the film and extremely innovative . 
i was not only enjoying the film , i was overwhelmed by genius of it . 
overall , the truman show is one of the freshest and innovative films to come out of hollywood . 
jim carrey shows that he is not just a man of a million faces , but a legitimate actor who could go down as one of the best . 
andrew niccol is responsible for the screenplay and peter weir pulled it off to perfection . 
the truman show is a must see for anyone who likes movies in general because they will be thoroughly impressed by this creative film . 
"
"1","capsule : this is a harrowing look at a rarely dramatized chapter of wwii , life in a japanese prison camp . 
to end all wars is a moving film about the struggle of prisoners to retain their humanity and their dignity . 
the somewhat religious interpretation may not be to everyone's taste . 
 , +3 ( -4 to +4 ) 
more than any other people the japanese seem capable of acting with one goal and not letting any other consideration get in their way . 
this may be a holdover from the code of bushido when loyalty to ones master was the only law . 
during world war ii , of course , the one goal was winning the war . 
this led them to do some very inhuman things in pursuit of that goal . 
when the japanese had captured prisoners , they were very much treated in whatever way would be optimum for achieving the one goal . 
minimum resources were to be spent in maintaining prisoners in keeping with maximal positive output . 
while the germans , not known for their kindness in those days , had a 6% mortality rate among captured prisoners of war , the mortality rate of japanese prisoners of war was 27% . 
the best thing for the war effort was working prisoners nearly to death on the thailand to burma railroad . 
that railroad was needed if japan was to attack india as it planned to do . 
the best thing for the effort was not to waste much food on the prisoners so short and amazingly wretched food was the order of the day . 
and just being in the jungle without proper medical aid took its toll . 
in the public mind japan has never been held as accountable for war atrocities as was germany . 
filmmakers have been reticent to tell the story , perhaps for fear of offending the japanese . 
there are comparatively few films about the japanese pow camps . 
certainly there was david lean's the bridge on the river kwai . 
there were some low-budget british exploitation films and that was about it . 
then there were tv series "" a town like alice "" and "" tenko . "" 
lest the experience be forgotten we have a new film to end all wars directed by david cunningham and written by brian godawa . 
it is based on the account of ernest gordan who survived the horror of that world war ii prison camp and went on to become for 26 years the dean of the chapel at princeton university . 
the film while realistic shows the conditions in the camp as being considerably more brutal and sadistic than bridge on the river kwai portrayed them . 
the story opens with six or so soldiers being marched into the prison camp only to be immediately placed in front of a firing squad . 
it turns out to be a grim joke , one of many that the sadistic japanese play to amuse themselves . 
beating and torture are commonplace events . 
men already imprisoned tell the new arrivals to enjoy the last of their health ; it will not last long with parasites and disease almost inevitable . 
however , unlike as in kwai , the prisoners want to avoid going to the hospital , called by the prisoners the death house . 
so goes a war within a war with the prisoners trying to maintain their humanity and with the japanese trying to make them interchangeable and highly expendable cogs in a rail-laying machine . 
this is more than just a battle of who will win the war but a battle of ideologies . 
the japanese believe that the individual is nothing , that conformity to group's norms is all that gives a life meaning . 
conformity is purpose . 
before the film is over there will be some surprising revelations about the character of the prisoners and the character of those running the camp . 
if this story showed nothing but sadism from the japanese it would be one kind of story . 
if the british ( with one american , by the way ) and the japanese learned to respect each other it would be another kind of story . 
it is neither . 
it is a stirring and believable account of camp life . 
the color has been distorted in the film to give a washed out yellow . 
this serves a double purpose for cunningham . 
it gives an effect of technicolor film that has been left in heat . 
it also creates a distancing effect . 
the only touch that seems a little out of place is the use of gaelic music . 
this is a powerful and philosophical view of the prison camp experience . 
i rate it a 9 on the 0 to 10 scale and a +3 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"1","another 'independent film' , this comedy , which was brought by miramax for $5 million , is good fun . 
favreau and vaughn ( the lost world : jurassic park , 1997 ) play mike and trent , two everyday 20somethings on the lookout for women . 
the film just basically follows their plight on the lookout for lurve , and along the way we get to meet some of their friends , see their attempts at chatting up girls , and just basically get a insight into their lives . 
and all of this is great fun . 
swingers doesn't rely on huge special effects , or big name stars to provide entertainment . 
no , it just has a great script and superb little known actors . 
the script , by favreau , is great . 
mike is always missing is girlfriend , who hasn't called him for six months , and every time he meets a girl , he always end up telling her about the ex . 
the audience feels for this pathetic little man , thanks to the great script . 
vaughn is 'the money' ( swingers speak for 'the best' ) as the womanizing trent , always on the lookout for a new girl . 
some of his chat-up lines are awful , but he always seems to get the girl thanks to his 'hard man' nature . 
vaughns character also gets the best laugh in the film , towards the end in a diner . 
the conversations that go on between mike and trent are great , but it never quite reaches tarantino standards ( which i suspect the film was trying to reach . ) 
there are some excellent , laugh out loud jokes in the film , and some superbly funny set pieces ( such as favreau cringe-worhy battle with a answer machine that always cut him off before he finishes his sentence . 
embarrassing to him , hilarious to the audience . ) 
mike & trents friends are also good , although there characters seem a bit underwritten , and we never really learn as much as we would like about them . 
although this is primarily mike and trents film , it would of been nice to learn a bit more about their friends . 
they just seem to wander aimlessly in the background . 
but again , the lines they say are usually pretty good , and they do have some funny parts . 
it's just a shame that they didn't have more meatier roles . 
the acting is superb . 
as said above , vaughn is superb as trent , he's definitely the best thing in the film . 
favreau is also good , acting as 'the little man' very well , and the way he always feels sorry for himself is very funny . 
graham ( boogie nights , 1997 ) has a small but good role as lorraine , a girl mike finally falls in love with . 
she hardly features in the film at all , but she still manages to make an impact on the audience . 
swingers , then , is funny , but it does have some flaws . 
firstly , the running time is a bit too short . 
the film comes to an abrupt halt , and i actually wanted the film to carry on longer . 
it never really comes to a satisfying conclusion , which is a shame , as most films are too long ! 
also , this type of film has been done too many times , such as sleep with me ( 1994 ) . 
but these small flaws don't really spoil what is a funny , entertaining comedy . 
"
"1","a frequent error is the categorization of a terrorist as a soldier or a common criminal . 
a soldier commits acts of violence sanctioned by one nation-state against another . 
a common criminal commits acts of violence for personal gain . 
a terrorist employs random violence as a means to a political end . 
if the target nation does not affect the desired change in policy , the violence continues . 
it is the fear resulting from the fact that the terrorist may strike at anyone ( even total innocents ) , anywhere , at anytime that gives the figure his label . 
edward zwick's the siege explores the possibility of this kind of violence taking place right here in the united states . 
you'd think the opening bit was ripped right from the headlines . 
arab terrorists kill american citizens abroad , and the u . s . responds by retaliating against the sheik whom supposedly ordered the attack . 
however , unlike the real-life tomahawk cruise missile strike against bin laden's camp and manufacturing facility , the film version depicts special operations troops kidnapping sheik ahmed bin talal . 
in retaliation , the terrorists bring the fight to the new world . 
unwittingly involved is fbi assistant special agent-in-charge anthony hubbard ( denzel washington ) , who works out of the bureau's new york office at one federal plaza . 
while investigating a series of bombings in the big apple , he encounters cia agent elise kraft ( annette bening ) , also trying to uncover information . 
generally , the fbi is charged with problems inside the u . s . , while the cia takes care of problems in the international realm . 
even spies from other countries are off limits to the cia as long as they are in our country . 
hubbard therefore finds it highly unusual that an agency spook is nosing around what he considers his territory , but as the two form a tentative professional relationship , hubbard becomes more and more aware of an increasingly complicated series of allegiances and possibly illegal actions involving terrorism and the united states government . 
the original tagline for patriot games was , "" there has never been a terrorist attack on american soil . "" 
however true , it was pulled before the movie's release because it sounded too much like a dare . 
revisiting the scenario of foreign terrorists committing acts of violence in the united states , the siege is almost an invitation in itself , because it shows just what kind of turmoil could be produced if an effective terrorist network were to set up operations here in america . 
admittedly , the terror wrought upon new york is a bit excessive ( who's going to believe that a few bombs are going to cause new yorkers to jump at the backfire of a bus or to curtail their shopping by two-thirds ? ) , but the basic premise is still valid . 
i liked the fact that this film rises above the basic action-thriller fare of good guy g-men against bad guy terrorists by exploring some of the effects on society and law and order . 
it provides a very possible hypothesis that violent activity on the part of a few arabs would escalate into a series of hate crimes against the arab-american population , and that in an effort to find the terrorists , the civil liberties of the minority may be violated by the government itself . 
in fact , about halfway through the film , when the president authorizes the declaration of martial law within new york city , the liberties of all americans are put at risk . 
although it may actually be a side effect of a terrorist campaign , the demise of social order in america is a scary thought and a goal which would not be beneath many international terrorist groups . 
throughout , the film maintains a conflict between hubbard , who wants to use the fbi to pursue the terrorists within the letter of the law , and general devereaux ( bruce willis ) , who is in command of the army and of the mind that the greater good would be better served by suspending the law and pursuing the terrorists more forcefully . 
what results is a fascinating debate over the appropriateness and constitutionality of the declaration of martial law and the invocation of the war powers act , utilizing philosophy and historical examples to make points on both sides . 
it actually gets rather heady at times , but it's a credit to screenwriters zwick , lawrence wright , and menno meyjes that they don't underestimate the intelligence of the audience . 
i don't know if it's his tone or inflection or something else , but denzel washington has a way of spitting out dialog that makes whatever he says sound great . 
this , combined with his innate acting ability and his experience in playing the mid-level authority figure , makes his performance in the siege convincing and enjoyable . 
annette bening gives one of the more assertive portrayals of a female character i've seen recently , and the chemistry she shares with washington is palpable . 
it's somewhat unfortunate that her character's fortitude is broken at a certain point , but it allows us to watch bening play a little more range . 
bruce willis is pretty much relegated to a tough-guy role , always standing straight , and with a permanent scowl fixed upon his face . 
however , the tension that exists between devereaux and hubbard is a major drive behind the film's development . 
notable is tony shalhoub who plays fbi agent frank haddad , a lebanese immigrant . 
the role calls for evidencing both a kind of filial pride for his heritage , and contempt for those of his own race who might interfere with his integration into the american society . 
difficult to say the least , shalhoub does it with a naturalness you can almost reach out and touch . 
perhaps best known for his role as antonio the cab driver in the nbc sitcom "" wings , "" shalhoub gained notoriety for his dramatic abilities in the wonderful film big night . 
whereas denzel washington seems to be edward zwick's favorite actor ( he directed washington in glory and courage under fire ) , james horner seems to be his favorite composer . 
i therefore found it odd that zwick chose the prolific score-writer graeme revell ( seven films this year already ) over horner for the siege until i realized that this film contained a lot of arabian-themed music , and horner's record has shown more of a propensity for scores either neutral in ethnicity or irish-sounding at most . 
revell does a good job at providing appropriate music to punctuate key scenes and allowing the score to enhance the movie as a whole . 
it's nowhere near as intrusive as in some of the other films we've been getting throughout the year . 
missteps in the siege can be found in a couple of the excesses it takes . 
for example , it's pretty clear throughout that the film is meant to be more of thriller than an action flick . 
unfortunately , there's a scene where the army just cuts loose against some arab immigrants in a blatant display of firepower and explosions , obviously meant for the sole purpose of being eye-catching . 
in the middle of the city ( and against no real opposition ) , zwick even has the army use a cobra attack helicopter to shoot rockets into a building no farther than 50 feet from friendly troops . 
verisimilitude really goes out the window at that point . 
the film also gets a little preachy toward the end , focusing on the ability of different races to get along . 
a noble gesture , the film just puts the message across a bit too obviously . 
these flaws are glaring , but they don't detract too much from an otherwise good film that makes you think about issues you may not have considered since history class . 
"
"1","very few people would be unaware of beavis & butt-head ( both created and narrated by mike judge ) . 
they are the two animated mtv characters who have the most annoying laughter know to human kind . 
you may have seen them on their television program , as they snigger and make lude remarks about women , anything related to sex , and the music film clips that they watch . 
in beavis & butt-head do america the pair finally make their big screen debut , to the delight of some , and the deplore of others . 
beavis & butt-head ( yes , those are their real names ) , are two very ugly teenagers with extremely warped minds driven by raging hormones . 
they live their lives in front of the television . 
the worst possible event occurs to the pair when their television is stolen . 
this happens as they sleep , and when they awake it takes them a few minutes just to decipher that the television has gone . 
beavis even tries to use the remote , though there is no television there . 
the two spot a van outside and two sinister looking men carrying a television . 
even at this point they have no idea what has happened . 
they look around , seeing all the evidence , but are completely oblivious to the fact that these men have just stolen their television . 
before the movie i knew that they were stupid , but i didn't realise just how stupid . 
this is typical of their behaviour throughout the film . 
eventually they realise that their television has been stolen , so they leave their sofa to go search for a television . 
luck would have it that they stumble into a hotel room ( looking for a television ) where a man is awaiting two guys whose task it is to kill his wife . 
this man , thinking that beavis & butt-head are the assigned killers , tells them that they can have $10 , 000 if they "" do his wife "" . 
beavis & butt-head , being the ignorant fools that they are , think that he is offering them $10 , 000 dollars to have sex with his good looking wife . 
they are taken to the airport where they fly to las vegas to "" do her "" . 
to them , this is the best day of their lives . 
not only are they going to lose their virginity ( one of their lifelong aims ) , but most importantly , they will have enough money to buy a big screen tv . 
inevitably they become caught up in a huge crime , and unbeknown to them , are tracked across the country by the fbi . 
oddly enough , it is their complete stupidity that spares them from being caught , as a result the fbi is convinced they are criminal masterminds . 
they end up travelling right across america , visiting places such as the hoover dam and washington dc . 
the irony is that although they visit so many grand and spectacular locations , their one time out in the big world away from their television , they are completely oblivious to it . 
at old faithful they are far more fascinated with the infra-red operated urinals than with the geyser itself . 
beavis & butt-head essentially have the journey of their lives . 
they even get to meet the president . 
but all they care about is getting their television back , and losing their virginity . 
this is one of the many reasons that the film is so funny - it's unbelievable just how stupid they are , and how they can be so oblivious to everything around them . 
the humour is certainly crude , but then beavis & butt-head are just that ; crude , lude and rude . 
in the end you can't help but feel sorry for them , a pair of anti-social couch potatoes whose life is television . 
in this respect , and also with regard to authority ( such as the fbi ) mike judge is quite critical of amercian society . 
if you are easily offended , or find this pair particularly annoying , steer clear . 
otherwise , it should keep you laughing the whole way through . 
one note of warning : don't take friends who like to imitate beavis & butt-head . . . . . you'll 
never hear the end of it ! 
"
"1","let me start off by saying that leading up to the release of the latest bond film , i really wasn't looking forward to it as much as i have with some of the previous films . 
i'm not sure if it was the fairly lackluster trailers or the ever-present dread that the next film will fall back into the miserable ways of the timothy dalton years . 
i'm happy to report that any doubts were erased after about the first 10 minutes of the film . 
by that point , it was evident that mr . bond was back with a vengeance . 
all doubts would have probably been erased sooner except for the fact that the first ten minutes of the film weren't exactly a pleasant experience . 
it seems that nobody told the geniuses working at the theater that the house lights are supposed to be turned off when the movie starts . 
it took a reminder from an audience member to clue them in . 
i guess they can be excused though , taking tickets and cleaning up popcorn between shows is extremely taxing on the brain . 
anyway , after somebody remembered what the light switch was for , i settled in for bond . 
i think the most noticeable aspect of this , the 19th film in the series , is that it really goes back to the almost tongue in cheek style of the roger moore films . 
there were probably more one-liners in this movie than in the last several combined . 
and bond's last one-liner in the film is about the best of the series . 
the world is not enough also contained perhaps the most action of any movie of the series . 
everything from wild boat chases to the usual assortment of cool bond gadgets trotted out just when there seems to be no way out for 007 . 
for the most part , the action sequences worked very well . 
although , there were a couple of times that i thought some things were a bit over the top , even for a bond film . 
i think some of the blame can be laid at the feet of director michael apted . 
while he did a good job for the most part , there were points in the movie , specifically during action sequences , that he seemed to loose site of the fact that he was making essentially an action film . 
most noticeably sequences on a snow covered mountain and one involving bond getting through a closing door looked like apted thought he was filming some sort of high brow art movie . 
he almost seemed like he didn't know what he was doing . 
but they were brief scenes and really shouldn't take away from the otherwise solid job that apted did in directing . 
if you have ever seen a bond film , you won't be shocked to learn that plot has never been their strong suit . 
the world is not enough is no exception . 
this time we have yet another over villain that bond has to stop for the good of the world . 
007 matches wits with the terrorist renard ( robert carlyle ) , a man who has a bullet lodged in his brain that makes him impervious to pain . 
why this point is included is beyond me . 
they took great pains to explain his condition , but it only came up later in the movie as a scene that can only be described as looking like an afterthought . 
anyway , renard , like the typical terrorist that he is , is bent on some harebrained scheme involving a mid-east oil pipeline . 
i guess world domination just isn't as attractive to terrorists as a money making venture anymore . 
bond is brought in to protect the pipeline's owner , elektra king ( sophie marceau ) , who is the daughter of one of renard's recent victims . 
along the way , bond has to enlist the help of a nuclear scientist , dr . christmas jones ( denise richards ) , and his old rival valentin zukovsky ( robert carlyle ) . 
like all bond films , you basically just have to suspend disbelief over the plot , since it is ridiculous beyond words . 
my biggest complaint would be that it was about the most disjointed of any of the bond films . 
there was at least one point that i had to stop and try to remember why bond was where he was and why he was doing what he was doing . 
the buddy that i saw the movie with was completely confused over an earlier kidnapping of marceau's character . 
it was alluded to earlier in the movie briefly -- although not included in the film . 
later , it became a big part of the story and left him with the distinct feeling that he had missed something . 
but because it is a bond film , the beautiful women and nifty gadgets seem to make you forget about script problems quite quickly . 
after all , it isn't shakespeare . 
how about the cast ? 
brosnan seems to get better with each of his appearances as 007 . 
i grew up with the roger moore version of bond , so i really enjoyed the lighter style that brosnan brings to the character . 
judi dench , as m , had a bigger role in this film than in her two previous appearances in the role . 
she brought the talent with her that one would expect from an oscar winner . 
robbie coltrane was easily one of the best parts in goldeneye , so it was nice to see his russian mobster character revived in this movie . 
coltrane gets more screen time , which simply leads to him stealing even more scenes . 
then there are the bond girls . 
sophie marceau might be one of the most beautiful actresses working today . 
there is just something about her breathtaking eyes that makes her a natural to play the innocent victim . 
those that saw her in braveheart know she is more than just a pretty face . 
marceau may be the most talented actress to ever play a bond love interest . 
then we have denise richards . 
there was no doubt in my mind that she was cast exclusively for her looks . 
and after you see the outfits she wears , you won't have any trouble guessing what part of her anatomy caught the producer's eyes . 
i was pleasantly surprised to find that she really did a good job playing a nuclear scientist . 
admittedly , there was one point that the audience snickered a bit at one of her technical lines of dialogue , but other than that she stacks up ( no pun intended ) to her bond girl predecessors nicely . 
i must say that the biggest disappointment was robert carlyle's character . 
while carlyle did a fine job with the material that he had , his character just never worked for me . 
the producers tried very hard to add more complexity to his character , but it just never quite got off the ground . 
i guess i was hoping for a bit more regarding the whole impervious to pain aspect of his character , but the writers decided to play up the emotional side of his character . 
this might have worked well in another movie , but i don't go to see bond movies for their deep characterizations . 
last , but not least , we have desmond llewelyn as q . this is the 17th appearance for llewelyn as bond's gadget guy , and he is as good as ever . 
although his screen time has grown far more limited in the past few films , he is still a treat to watch . 
rumors abound that this may be his last appearance in the role . 
he says future appearances are up to a higher power . 
the producers have introduced his protege and future replacement , a bumbling and somewhat pompous character played by comedy master john cleese . 
while we don't see much of him in this film , i think it is fair to say that desmond llewelyn's legacy , whenever it is passed on , will be in very capable hands . 
so how does it stack up ? 
despite some problems , the world is not enough is a very entertaining movie . 
and , all things considered , what problems it does have are small compared to some that have plagued earlier bond movies . 
this is easily the best of the brosnan films . 
it may even be the best of the entire series , certainly in the top 3 . 
one thing is for sure , even after 19 movies , there is still plenty of life left in the james bond series . 
here's looking forward to bond number 20 . 
"
"1","seen september 5 , 1998 at 10 p . m . at the sony nickelodeon theaters ( boston , ma ) , theater #2 , with matt perreault for free using my sony/loews critic's pass . 
[theater rating : * * 1/2 : okay seats , sound , and picture] 
modern society is now inundated with more sex and sexuality than it ever has been before , from teenage sitcoms to nc-17-rated films about fetishes . 
the biggest debate of the subject is whether or not it affects reality or just reflects it . 
 "" your friends and neighbors "" takes a different approach as it's a film that revolves almost entirely around sex and how can be used for both pain and pleasure even within a small circle of friends . 
one of the most important aspects of the film that most be noted and analyzed before the film can really be dissected as a whole is writer/director neil labute's basic setup and some of the unique methods he employs to tell the story . 
firstly , and most importantly is the fact the script tells a rather complex , detailed story of lust , betrayal , arrogance , hypocrisy , greed , and just plain stupidity between six different characters ( three men , three women ) , without hardly any supporting characters , ( a few have a line or two ) , mostly extras . 
everything they do will somehow affect another character and ultimately come full-circle back to themselves , whether it be positive or negative . 
but to just state this is arbitrary , and explaining and criticizing the process is difficult . 
labute's ability to tell his story through a few characters is a remarkable feat , but what's specifically impressive is the fact the characters' names are never revealed until the end credits roll . 
for the sake of this review , i will describe the characters and refer to them as their main characteristic . 
another interesting accomplishment is the fact every scene takes place inside with limited focus . 
we're always able to tell where the characters are ( someone's home , the gym , a restaurant , hotel room , etc . ) , but what the city they live in , what year it is , what the society is like , etc . is relatively unknown . 
the film is a complete character study with the tight , intense drama of the theater . 
no one plot dominates the story , which makes the first act a bit tedious for its lack of background . 
we're simply dropped in on the characters' lives and are expected to figure out the rest . 
the characters are a group of middle-class white people who are all successful at what they do , but they're only concern right now seems to be their sex lives . 
first there's barry ( eckhart ) and mary ( brenneman ) , a married couple who are going through a dry spell not unlike many other couples in other situations who don't know what they're problem is . 
barry is kind of a dorky businessman who loves his wife , and the sex they have , but doesn't have a lot of ambition - he just follows everyone else . 
mary is a writer of some sort , but lacks aggression and emotion like her husband and is the meekness character , but ironically , doesn't hesitate to commit adultery just to feel something . 
labute's script does a good job in characterizing mary and barry as individuals , but is very light on chemistry and connection between the two . 
obviously , this is the theme , which is enhanced by the actors' good performances , but at the same time seems just a bit hollow . 
another couple is jerry ( stiller ) and terri ( keener ) who live together and seem to have been involved with each other for a long time , yet they constantly argue over anything and everything . 
their sex life is also fraught with problems and for some reason they continue to do it throughout their infidelitous relationship . 
if only one aspect of the film could use improvement , it would be this area . 
it's natural for a married couple to become bored with each other , but why would two people who can barely stand each other continue to have sex and live together ? 
what did they ever see in the other person to begin with ? 
labute never really answers , but since the film is more concerned with the payoff than the process , it still makes for good drama , tension , and manip ulation so intricate and deceitful it's fascinating . 
two other characters act as catalysts , cary ( jason patric ) and cheri ( natassja kinski ) . 
cary is an arrogant , hostile sex-maniac who defines the word "" bastard . "" 
somehow he is able to bend women to his will , either through charm or just attitude , into getting his way . 
he's the kind of guy everyone should stay away from as we realize he's secretly perverted , but somehow barry finds comfort in his company , although jerry is always nervous around him . 
patric gives an outstanding performance , so much so that we want to know more about him despite how intimidating and unlikable he is . 
cheri is a character labute uses as a catalyst to see how the other characters react to her . 
she works in an art museum and at some point throughout the film , each character will engage her in almost the exact same conversation and her reaction is always different , from becoming involved in a relationship with one , to brushing it off as small talk with another , to being outright appalled by yet another . 
she's a sweet woman , perhaps the most normal of any of the characters , and although her symbolism is obvious , her role as the outsider is the most relatable . 
i will not reveal who cheats on who and how each character is specifically affected by the others' action , as that's the hook of the film . 
the first two acts begin to set up the characters and each's scenarios , but it's often difficult to tell what they will do about it and with whom . 
the result is sometimes surprising , other times predictable , but the actual course of actions is always fascinating . 
for a while everyone has their fun , but ultimately each character's guilt , attitude , or ignorance will disserve them . 
one of the most important things to note is how realistic the story is supposed to be . 
since the characters only interact with each other there isn't much pop culture references , as almost everything has a deeper philosophy behind it . 
are we to assume that these people are , as the title states , our friends and neighbors ? 
i don't know of anyone going through the same situations as these people . 
often times the film is not unlike a network melodrama , other times situations are like those not seen outside a porno movie . 
but what this film does have that the others don't is repercussions in the end . 
although the film creates its own reality , it goes to show that even the immoral aren't immortal . 
in what way "" your friends and neighbors "" is supposed to work is open to interpretation . 
it definitely has a lot to say about the price that comes with infidelity , but it could have been even better had it expanded on that theme more specifically . 
still , it's an accomplishment in film-making because it has put a timeless theme into a modern perspective . 
"
"1","the characters in "" palmetto "" collectively sweat enough to fill lake erie , and it's just the right way to capture the film's ripe atmosphere of sensuality , tension and even farce . 
this humid florida-set thriller nurtures a modestly absurd edginess that often winks at itself , which is very much a good thing since the actors and director are in on the joke . 
as far as set-up is concerned , the movie is nothing we haven't seen before , but be patient -- "" palmetto "" spins some pretty wicked story twists that we really don't see coming . 
it's not a classic by any means , but it sure is quite an engaging surprise . 
harry barber ( woody harrelson ) is fresh out of prison , where he's served a couple of years for a crime he didn't commit . 
even though he harbors animosity towards the obtuse local officials , harry's first order of business is to return to his home town of palmetto to be with his sculptor girlfriend nina ( gina gershon ) . 
while searching for work , he catches the eye of rhea malroux ( elisabeth shue ) , the mysterious sexbomb wife of a palmetto millionaire . 
rhea proposes a scheme that'll get harry $50 , 000 easy -- to play a small part in the staged kidnaping of her jailbait stepdaughter odette ( chloe sevigny ) . 
 "" you do like risks , don't you , mr . barber ? "" 
rhea alluringly coos . 
boys , form a line behind me . 
part of "" palmetto "" 's success can be attributed to the performance of elisabeth shue , who demonstrates here that her oscar-nominated turn in "" leaving las vegas "" might merely be foreshadowing great things to come . 
shue's a seductive , campy delight , and pulls off a barbara stanwyck-gloria swanson combo with admirable relish . 
the other actors form a solid ensemble around her , including sevigny ( "" kids "" ) , tantalizingly slutty as a teen tease , as well as the ever-likeable gershon , cast a far cry from her extreme roles in "" bound "" and "" showgirls . "" 
harrelson is still doing fine follow-up work to "" the people vs . larry flynt . "" 
 "" palmetto "" does have its share of grievances . 
harrelson's narration is needless , i suppose , and gershon's nina cries to be meatier than she ultimately is . 
one of the plot's unexpected angles -- that harry is asked by the police to become the press liaison for the very crime in which he's involved -- could have been played a little better . 
there are moments when you question the tone , but it's never so unstable that it deserves the reproach it's been receiving from most other critics . 
if "" palmetto "" didn't want to be laughed at , would it really have tacked on a climax that plays like a live-action "" who framed roger rabbit "" ? 
although a few elements can be questioned , the movie works well on its own terms . 
thanks to a juicy cast -- especially shue -- and the nifty material approach from director volker schlondorff ( you remember him from last summer's suddenly re-popular "" the tin drum , "" right ? ) , 
everything runs smoothly . 
and for fans of revelation-heavy endings , this film's got a few shocks in store that i won't even dream of revealing . 
 "" palmetto "" is a generous amount of fun to watch , and that's all you need to know . 
"
"1"," "" you've got mail "" is the very definition of a "" cute "" movie . 
it's got cute stars , a cute story-line , and even cute pets . 
despite this over-whelming cuteness ( or maybe because of it ) , i loved "" you've got mail "" . 
i know , i know . 
i'm supposed to be a film critic . 
i'm not supposed to love transparent and formula pictures like this . 
but darn it , somewhere along the way , "" you've got mail "" reeled me in , hook , line , and sinker . 
the movie stars tom hanks and meg ryan as two somewhat unhappy new yorkers who meet in an aol online chat room and quickly become close friends , without ever knowing each others identity . 
as the movie progresses , though , they begin to discover that they have a lot in common with each other . 
meanwhile , in "" real-life "" , they are bitter competitors . 
she owns a quaint little children's bookstore , he owns one of those gigantic super-bookstores that offer impersonal service and discount prices . 
while his store threatens to run her store out of business , their online relationship grows stronger . 
 "" you've got mail "" is as artificial as movies come . 
everything is nice and happy and by the end , all the characters have gotten exactly what they wanted out of life . 
there are no real conflicts , no major disappointments , no unresolved issues . 
nevertheless , i quite enjoyed it . 
in fact , i can't remember the last time i had such a good time at the movies . 
i think sometimes you have to be able to watch a movie and just get drawn into it . 
the fact that stars hank and ryan are at the top of their game does not hurt either . 
in particular , hanks is at his best here , turning his "" charm-meter "" up to 11 . 
everytime he was on screen , he had my full attention . 
and despite the fact that he was driving little bookstores out of business , i was rooting for him . 
it was good to see hanks back doing what he does best : playing the affable everyman . 
 "" you've got mail "" certainly won't be winning any awards , but as an exercise in pure entertainment , it's as good as it gets . 
"
"1","with the sudden liberal emergence of personal privacy abounding in the news lately , what with that whole clinton thing going on ( you know , 100 million bucks to discover the president got boinked by an intern - oh , please , government , waste my taxes just a bit more , would you ? ) , 
it's about time tony scott helmed the newest action pic disguised as an important if not slightly ignorant social statement . 
with this and "" crimson tide , "" he's created two successfully chilly films that are interesting , exciting , even pretty smart , but never totally riveting as cinema , and the problem i think with each of these films is that each film is too obsessed with its message to ever be really satisfying , and too obsessed with looking all cutting edge to ever be totally smart . 
that film dealt with a civil war inside a nuclear submarine over whether or not to follow rules or question them , and was appropriately scary and all , but never totally thrilling or overly brilliant . 
 "" enemy of the state "" is the same way : it's engrossing for its entire running time , and it's scary the way that it shows a man's decent into kafkaism , but it's too technical . 
it's too cold and not as fascinating or exciting as it could be . 
it casts will smith , one of the better big budget leading men in movies these days because he's charming and witty and never uninteresting , and hopes that his charisma can make up for his character not being well developed enough to really be a person . 
i hate to do this , but last year's film "" the game "" got it damn perfect : it casts michael douglas as a deeply flawed human being , a man who is cold and has cut off everyone from his life , and then pulls everything he thought he had as a security blanket away from him and watched what happened . 
the result was not only a film that was exciting and chilling , but also the best mindfuck of the entire year . 
not that i want every kafkaesque film to be "" the game "" ( this year's "" the spanish prisoner "" succeeds with less thrills and chills ) , but it should be an example of what works and what doesn't . 
will smith's character is , frankly , too perfect , at least too movie perfect . 
he had an affair with another woman ( lisa bonet , ha ha ) , but his relationship with his wife ( regina king ) is basically fine regardless . 
he has a kid , and he's raking in money as a lawyer , albeit a very good and reasonably moral one . 
so he generally doesn't have any real problems as a human being , and is therefore boring . . . except that he is played by will smith , who embodies him with about as much will smith charm as he can without entering "" id4 "" / "" men in black "" territory . 
he's a good dramatic actor ( just see the first half hour of "" six degrees of separation "" for proof of this , not that he isn't great the whole time ) , and here , he makes his character likable and sympathetic without any real strain on his character , which makes the film lack any real deep interesting qualities . 
smith becomes involved in a mass conspiracy involving the assasination of a senator opposed to a government law that would create world surveillance , extinguishing privacy as we know it from the world , under the pretense that it would make crime easier to control , when he is passed a disk of the event caught on tape by an outside party ( a nature observer played by , uh , jason lee ) . 
the government wants the disk , and is prepared to destroy his life to get it . 
as smith's plight is dramatized , we are introduced to the masterminds who surveillance him , sitting in vans disguised as other businesses , staring at computers and pulling out tricks faster than a speeding bullet . 
these guys ( played by jack black , jamie kennedy , and seth green ) are the most interesting part of this film because they're , well , fascinating : they're doing their jobs , which are evil , but the film doesn't view them as such , and they almost become our friends . 
we like these guys for the sole reason that the film doesn't automatically judge them as the villains . 
they're also scary because we get the idea that they're not fully aware of the impact their jobs have on the world . 
it's as if they're obsessed with their jobs , not because they're evil , but because , hey , it's a fun job , and no one else can do it like them . 
unfortunately , this also backfires a bit on the film : instead of being the flashlight in the darkened room that "" the game "" was , you see everything , and are thus not as freaked out because you know what is going on . 
sure , you're chilled , but you're not exacty freaked out by what's going on . 
but what do you expect from tony scott , the man who never met a five-second piece of film he ever liked . 
he's a not-bad director because , hell , he is always interesting to watch ( if not occasionally moronic - exhibit a : "" days of thunder "" ) , but the reason he's not great is because he's too technical and calculated . 
his shots are perfectly executed , and leave nothing to the imagination , and they're always making sure you're paying attention . 
this is incredibly annoying , and it reduces "" enemy of the state "" to a mechanical mishmash of flashy images that never expand the mind at any great depths , but still manage to entertain without any real problems . 
despite never actually becoming great , it's never actually boring and it's always intriguing . 
watching the government set-up smith is endlessly fascinating , and since we care about smith's likeable protagonist , we are set-up for a good two hours worth of tom clancy-esque entertainment . 
add the best big cast this side of the annual woody allen film ( everyone from gabriel byrne to dan butler pop up for cameos ) , and you've got a good old fashioned escapist drama which does all the thinking for you so that you never have to actually question the debate over personal privacy and so you can follow will smith's plight without a minute's worth of boredom . 
"
"1","mary norton's children's book series , the borrowers , has been made into several below-average television movies . 
so , i wasn't too enthused as i entered the theater for the big-screen debut of the minute clan . 
but i was in for a shock , the borrowers is actually a thoroughly delightful movie with plenty of good laughs and even some decent special effects . 
the lender family is being thrown out of their longtime home . 
their aunt , who owned the property , never left a will . 
now , an unscrupulous lawyer , ocious potter ( john goodman ) plans to demolish the house and replace it with an ultra-modern housing development . 
but the lenders are not alone in their house . 
living under the floorboards is a family of borrowers , 4 inch tall people who make their living as scavengers from the human "" beans "" above . 
the clock family of borrowers is as distressed as the lenders , especially once they discover the evil potter actually has a copy of the will which leaves the home to the lenders . 
so it is up to the clocks ( pod ( jim broadbent ) and homily ( celia imrie ) , along with their kids , arrietty ( flora newbigin ) and peagreen ( tom felton ) ) to recover the will and save the household . 
but when potter learns of the tiny people , he enlists the skills of exterminator jeff ( mark williams ) to kill off the clan . 
there's plenty of attention to detail in the borrowers , especially in the furnishings of the clock family house , made out of lost board game parts and credit cards . 
the background details are nearly as rich as the entertaining story . 
the various predicaments of the clock family are clever and thrilling . 
based on an original story , the screenwriters did a good job at imagining all the potential and unusual perils that could exist for a 4-inch tall person . 
as the villain , john goodman's performance veers on the edge of being over-the-top . 
but his performance suits the role well , and he does very well in the film's many slapstick moments . 
with a nearly seamless mix of oversized sets , bluescreen shots and cgi , the special effects in the borrowers are very well done . 
there are a few times when you can spot the effects at work , but none of them are so jarring that you lose the suspension of disbelief . 
hopefully the borrowers will surpass the curse of being labeled a children-only movie , for it is surprisingly entertaining and fun to watch . 
"
"1","touchstone pictures and spyglass entertainment presents a birnbaum / barber production in association with a jackie chan films limited production jackie chan owen wilson "" shanghai noon "" lucy liu music by randy edelman co producers ned dowd jules daly executive producer jackie chan willie chan and solon so produced by roger birnbaum gary barber and jonathan glickman written by alfred gough & miles millar directed by tom dey 
rated pg-13 for mild language , adult situations , drug use , martial art action and violence . 
107 minutes . 
super 35mm / panavision ( 2 . 35 : 1 ) 
what can you say about jackie chan that hasn't already been said . 
since the release of 'rumble in the bronx "" back in 1996 ( the u . s . release ) , jackie has become a fairly recognizable commodity on america's video shelves . 
having made over 80 films , jackie has finally succeeded in bringing his style of action-comedy to the west . 
his latest release , "" shanghai noon "" , is a joyful tribute / spoof of the classic western . 
and by adding jackie chan into the genre , the tag line for the film ( "" the western gets a kick in the pants "" ) rings true . 
jackie stars as chon wang , a lesser imperial guard in the forbidden city of china . 
the royal princess pei pei ( lucy liu ) is set to be married to the obnoxious son of a nobleman from another prefecture . 
unwilling to follow her father's wishes , princess pei pei with the assistance of her english tutor , decides to escape to america . 
but this is all a ploy devised by exiled guard lo fong , which will lead to the princess' kidnapping and ransom . 
unable to take any legal action , the ransom demands are met and three of the forbidden city's bravest guards ( played by cui ya hi , rong guang yu , and eric chen ) are ordered to transport the ransom payment to lo fong in carson city , nevada . 
chon wang pleads with the imperial court and is given permission to join the team , as he is looked upon as a buffoon . 
on a train in the u . s . jackie meets up with bandit roy o'bannon ( owen wilson ) . 
he is much less of a bandit than he is a glory hog , looking simple for the notoriety and fame that being a bandit will bring him . 
with his gang in tow , roy attempts to rob the train , when one of his gang murders the chinese interpreter of the royal court , who also happens to be chon wang's uncle . 
chon wang gives chase , foiling the attempted robbery , but also leaving himself stranded in the desert . 
as the disgraced guard wanders through the desert , he again comes upon roy , who has been left for dead by his former gang . 
buried up to his neck in the desert , roy pleads with chon to dig him out . 
chon demands to know where carson city is . 
roy directs him , and chon leaves . 
but not before sticking two chopsticks into roy's mouth and telling him to dig himself . 
chon soon finds himself confronted by angry crow warriors , a friendly sioux tribe , gunslingers , a horse that thinks and behaves like a dog and an indian bride ( brandon merrill ) , before once again running into roy . 
 "" shanghai noon "" is just good fun . 
the chemistry between the cast is remarkable . 
the performances are all acceptable within the whimsical levels of the film . 
jackie's performance is as good as anything he's done before . 
he's not called on to do much acting here , as the character is not written with any depth . 
but jackie's natural charisma shines through , and his comic timing is so perfect , both physically and ( surprise ) verbally that once again he commands the screen whenever he is on . 
owen wilson , last seen in the embarrassing remake of "" the haunting "" , gives a good natured performance as roy o'bannon . 
his innocence is refreshing and fun . 
a bad guy that's not really bad . 
his scenes with jackie are some of the best bits of comic dueling since martin and lewis . 
lucy liu as princess pei pei is given little to do in the script , but for a change does not play a nymphet or some other deviant . 
the character is a noble woman of status and wealth , but finds a greater cause as a result of her own imprisonment . 
the rest of the performances are all broadly drawn comic performances . 
nothing here is realistic , mind you . 
 "" shanghai noon "" is first and foremost a light , jovial film . 
and the performances match that style with ease . 
the cinematography by dan mindel is gorgeous . 
using calgary , alberta as the prime location . 
mr . mindel is able to create a lush , romantic western feel to the film . 
nothing here really looks like nevada , but the locations are so beautifully shot and staged , the film can be looked upon as a loving tribute to earlier films of the genre . 
and as such , the script by alfred gough and miles millar plays fast and loose with history , but with reverence to past films . 
homage to such films as "" high noon "" ( obviously ) , "" red river "" and most notably "" butch cassidy & the sundance kid "" all bring a sense of nostalgia to the film . 
it is a comforting experience . 
at a time when the western is considered either old hat or irrelevant , here is a film that embraces those old attitudes and ( dare i say ) clich ? s and manages to make them palatable and refreshing . 
here is a film that is not contemptuous of the genre . 
this is the purest "" horse opera "" since the days of george o'brian or john wayne . 
director tom dey has crafted a loving tribute to hollywood's past . 
in this , his first film mr . dey shows both a love of character and of craftsmanship that is refreshing to see . 
nothing here really stands out , or takes one's attention away from the story or action . 
and that is as it should be , when jackie chan is your star . 
and what of the action and stunts . 
well , while not up to a level of "" drunken master 2 "" or any of jackie's hong kong films , "" shanghai noon "" is miles ahead of anything jackie has done in an american film before . 
his timing , choreography , and creativity are still as sharp as ever . 
jackie even gets to recreate a few scenes from his earlier films ( obvious to those of us that have seen those films , but refreshingly fun for those unfamiliar ) . 
finally jackie can honestly say , that he has made an u . s . , his way and incorporating his style . 
to sum up , "" shanghai noon "" is a fun summer confection . 
not too heavy and not too light . 
a fun and entertaining film that the whole family can enjoy ( parents be advised there are scenes of smoking , drunkenness and peyote use ) . 
an enjoyable and charming film that can and will be enjoyed again and again . 
"
"1","the reunion film is not an original idea in any way , shape , or form . 
it's been done throughout film history over and over again , and has become one of the many sub-genres , like the prep school sub-genre , the angst-filled teen sub-genre , and the slasher sub-genre . 
what makes "" peter's friends "" so remarkable is not how it doesn't follow the rules of this sub-genre , but how it follows it so well , and creates characters that i wouldn't mind hanging with . 
what are the rules of the reunion sub-genre ? 
well . . . . 
1 . you need a group of friends , most of them married or at least dating , and sometimes even married or dating eachother . 
2 . you need to have them brought back together over some sort of a crisis . 
3 . they are not to have spoken together much since they split apart . 
4 . the reunion has to come in intervals divisible by 10 . 
5 . they all have to be slightly to highly neurotic . 
6 . the reunion has to bring them together , seperate them with little crises , then bring them back together because , after all , they're friends . 
7 . there has to be some sex or at least some making out either between the friends or with other people that are there or were invited . 
8 . eightly , they're all unhappy or marginally so . 
9 . there's some sort of sexual tension amongst some of them that's built up over the years . 
10 . the friends are all wildly successful in the world of entertainment and the arts , sometimes internationally so . 
11 . the film is filled with nostalgic radio hits from the time when they were friends , sometimes causing them to get together in dance/song . 
since it follows these rules so closely , it will probably be ( and has been ) coined off as just a "" british 'big chill . ' "" 
and in some ways it is . 
both follow the rules , as i said , and both feature lots of bitching , big confessionals , and broken relationships . 
but while "" the big chill "" was , at least to me , a tad too whiny and unsatisfying , "" peter's friends "" hits its mark , making this film funny , dramatic , and poignant . 
the friends of peter's were all in the same theatre group back in '82 , performig wildly outrageous british acts for people far too stuck up to enjoy them ( the opening scene has them all dancing in tux tops and tutus ) . 
after peter's ( stephen fry ) wealthy father ( richard briers , hardly on screen enough to register , but oh well ) dies , leaving a giant mansion to him , he has to decide whether or not to keep it . 
not sure what to do with it immeadiately , he decides to throw a giant reunion party , inviting back all his old chums . 
of course , all or most of his chums follow the tenth rule . 
andrew ( kenneth branagh , also directing here ) is an actor who's unhappily married to a tv star , carol ( co-writer rita rudner ) . 
maggie ( emma thompson ) is a successfuly publisher of self-help books , but looks like she needs them more than her customers , as she is lonely and unhappy . 
roger and mary ( hugh laurie and imelda staunton , who were also married in "" sense and sensibility "" ) are married , and are the most successful creators of jingles in the uk , but have suffered a tragedy as one of their newly born twins has recently died . 
and sarah ( alphonsia emmanuel ) is as promiscuous as ever , having a new boyfriend as of two weeks named brian ( tony slattery ) who's married and wants a divorce because of her , giving her doubts . 
as for peter , things seem okay . . . 
the film features lots of inner-friend jokes , and even some old theatre anecdotes ( which i at least find a lot of fun in , as i've done lots of theatre myself ) . 
and there are big confessions , brawls between the friends , and by the end , almost everyone is unhappy , even though some have resolved their problems long before the end ( which i kinda dug ) . 
the final twist would seem forced an anti-climactic , but for some reason , i felt the same way the rest of the friends did . 
maybe it's because the people in this film are so likable that i just wanted to join their clique . 
that's really what makes "" peter's friends "" so lovable : the way you just want to hang with a group of friends who can be so dysfuntional sometimes , but when someone's in crisis , can come together wonderfully for one another . 
it's when you have a giant crisis like this and people want to selflessly help you out instead of subtely pushing you away that makes you realize you have true friends , and these people are true friends . 
not to mention kenneth branagh is able to make the film seem nostalgic for the 80s ( a decade i grew up in , unfortunately ) without taking us outside of the 90s . 
there are some 80s classics and anti-classics like tears for fears "" everybody wants to rule the world , "" but unfortunately no stupid/fun 80s songs ( i think if i ever did an 80s reunion film , i'd put some crap go gos song on , or at least some good old "" come on eileen "" ) , but this is the british 80s we're talking about . 
oh well . 
but anyway , the direction is pretty good , although nothing amazing . 
branagh's forte is really making shakespeare fresh and magical , but at least he's very good with making a less ambiguous film like this . 
the writing is good from rita rudner and martin bregman , with lots of good one-liners , and even some really bad but good puns ( to mock the fact that andrew lives in l . a . , peter , while cutting some logs , asks him is he has wood in l . a . , and andrew says , "" no , but we have hollywood "" - punishment like that ) . 
the actors , as in most speaking movies , are better than their material , though , with some stand-out performances to the six friends , as well as the outsiders like slattery , rudner , and phyllida law as the old housekeeper of the peter's mansion . 
a little note should be made about hugh laurie's performance , as he looks like he took some massive doses of prozac before doing this - i mean , i've never seen him actually act this dramatically . 
 "" peter's friends "" is a really enjoyable film which makes people like me pine for some sort of future reunion , although i don't know what kind i'll have ( like most people , i don't look forward to my high school reunion ) . 
because of the way these friends are still able to maintain the same amount of care they have for one another and after such a long period of seperation , i just look forward to the day when i can have friends like that . 
"
"1","once upon a time a solitary ogre named shrek ( mike myers ) was really annoyed to discover that his swamp had been invaded by three blind mice , seven dwarves and all the other fairy tale characters in the land , banished from their home by lord farquaad ( john lithgow ) . 
unwittingly befriended by a non-stop talking donkey ( eddie murphy ) , shrek travels to dulloc to speak with farquaad , where he stumbles into a joust and comes up the winner . 
his prize ? 
to save princess fiona ( cameron diaz ) from a tower surrounded by molten flame and protected by a dragon so she can become farquaad's bride . 
the ogre agrees to the task in return for getting his solitary lifestyle back in "" shrek . "" 
it took four writers ( ted elliott and terry rossio ( "" the road to el dorado "" ) , roger s . h . 
schulman ( "" balto "" ) and joe stillman ( "" beavis and butthead do america "" ) ) to adapt william steig's children's book . 
the bad news ? 
they've genericized an already simple plotline while heavily under the influence of william goldman's "" the princess bride . "" 
the good news ? 
there's so much wacky humor culled from both fairy tales and popular culture that this movie should keep you in stitches . 
we get our first inkling that we're in for a real treat as one of farquaad's men , intent on rounding up magical creatures offers 'five schillings for the possessed boy ! ' after observing dreamworks' rendition of disney's animated pinocchio . 
meanwhile within the castle walls , a gingerbread man being tortured 
by farquaad spits icing and yells 'eat me ! ' 
before breaking down and solemnly asking 'do you know the muffin man ? ' 
shrek , a green giant with bobbly antennae-like ears , is a grumpy recluse who really yearns to fit in ( although who could put up with his habit of making candles from his own ear wax ? ) . 
donkey is a hyperactive , endearingly stunted creature who can talk and , therefore , believes will make a great misfit pairing with the uncooperative shrek . 
donkey proves his worth sweet talking the princess-guarding dragon . 
the princess proves to be more than a shade offbeat after learning she's not getting the fairy tale issue rescue she's been expecting . 
when fiona's true colors are exposed ( including opportunies for some tomboyish gross out humor ) , a spark develops between her and shrek . 
the script's details are gleefully impish , constantly poking fun at disney from the theme park world of farquaad's dulloc with its turnstyle entrance and 'it's a small world' parody of an information booth to the blue bird which meets a most un-disneyish fate after duetting with fiona 'snow white' style . 
popular culture is represented with film references to "" babe "" and "" charlies' angels "" via "" the matrix . "" 
myers chooses his 'so i married an axe murderer' scottish brogue for shrek in order to give his voice some heft . 
while this may prove distracting for anyone familiar with that film , overall it works more than not . 
eddie murphy steals the show as the fast-talking , motown-singing donkey , proving once again his talent as a vocal performer ( is it another wink at disney that donkey is paired with a dragon , a creature murphy portrayed in disney's 'mulan ? ' ) . 
lithgow's a good choice for the supercilious , height-challenged villain lord farquaad . 
diaz is energetic but ultimately nondescript voicing princess fiona . 
 ( a better choice would have been minnie driver , who's proven herself a terrific vocal talent in such diverse animations as disney's "" tarzan , "" "" princess mononoke "" and the "" south park "" movie . ) 
the computer animation looks terrific ( particularly donkey ) , although it won't elicit the types of oohs and aahs of pixar's work ( "" toy story , "" "" a bug's life , "" "" toy story 2 "" ) . 
in keeping with its hip style , pop music is used , which like myer's voice may be initially jarring , but ultimately satisfies ( while surveying bridal candidates via a 'dating game' parody broadcast by snow white's evil queen's mirror , farquaad is told 'fiona likes pina coladas' - cue jimmy buffet ! ) . 
 "" shrek "" has good lessons for kids and humor targetted at every age group in the family . 
while it may be derivative of the 1987's "" the princess bride , "" "" shrek "" addresses a new generation with similar sensibilities and doesn't suffer in the comparison . 
"
"1","some movies have such an impact that they linger in your mind long after the credits have rolled , making you think carefully and recollect on what you have just seen . 
i finished mike figgis' "" leaving las vegas "" hours ago , and it is still as haunting as when i hit rewind on the vcr . 
alot of people refer to this film as "" that flick where nick cage plays that alcoholic dude "" . 
 "" leaving las vegas "" is not so much a movie about alcoholism as it is a story about two people who except each other for what they are : a drunk and a whore . 
ben ( nicolas cage in possibly the best male performance of the past twenty years ) is the drunk . 
his family and friends have long since abandon him , and all he has left is his liquor . 
in a scene early in the film , we see ben staggering into a resteraunt , looking for a "" friend "" of his to mooch some money off of . 
he finds the guy ( richard lewis ) having dinner with a buddy and two chicks , trying to crack witty jokes that just come out stupid . 
when ben approaches the table , you can clearly sense that everyone immediatly feels uncomfortable . 
after lewis gives ben the money , he coldly says "" i think it would be best if you didn't contact me again . "" 
now even though through the course of the film , some much more depressing things happen , this is when i felt the most for ben . 
there was such a look of sorrow and dispare on his face , ( not to sound hokey or anything ) it almost brought a tear to my eye . 
it turns out that ben was once a semi-successful hollywood player , and apparently a pretty popular guy . 
now he spends his time getting robbed by hookers and trying desperatly to pick up women , not so much for the sex , but for the company ; for someone to talk to or spend time with . 
once he is fired from his job , ben decides to burn all his belongings , collect all his cash and relocate to las vegas to slowly drink himself to death . 
one night he runs into a prostitute ( a brilliant performance by elizabeth shue - how far she has come since "" adventures in babysitting "" ) named sera . 
she is involved in an abusive relationship with her pimp , a scumbag who gets-off by cutting her . 
they are both very lonely , self-destructive people . 
they immediatly hit it off , both of them realizing that they need one another . 
and it isn't even a sexual relationship . 
they don't even have sex until , like , the last ten minutes of the film . 
 "" leaving las vegas "" is not a film about plot . 
with the exception of what i have already revealed ( which all happens in the first thirty minutes or so , by the way ) , there isn't too much of a story to it . 
it is more a film about people and how they react to one another . 
from what i can see , this is basically a perfect film . 
the direction is great ( with mike figgis doing a brilliant mix between the glamor of las vegas and the moody , smokey atmosphere of a film noir ) and it contains two of the best performances to come out of the 90s , or any other decade for that matter . 
but don't go rushing out to see this movie without knowing what you're getting yourself into . 
first off , if you are easily offended by frank sexual dialouge , stay away from "" leaving las vegas "" . 
it is filled with lengthy discussions of orgasms , rape and various forms of perverted activities involving burbon ( that's right ) . 
secondly , if you are not in the mood to see a very depressing film , don't see it . 
however , if you are cool with those two things , you are in for one of the most memorable experiences you will ever have . 
"
"1","`run lola run' , a german import that gained a stellar reputation at the sundance film festival , is a dazzling and kinetic film that deals with the subjects of fate and chance . 
for a berserk and retroactive 81 minutes of non-stop movement , we follow a fiery-haired heroine named lola ( franka potente ) as she sprints to save her boyfriend from the clutches of drug dealers . 
lola has roughly twenty minutes to somehow retrieve 100 , 000 marks in time to save manni ( moritz bleibtreu ) from being killed by the dealer . 
but , in something of a pseudo- `groundhog day' approach , director tom tykwer gives lola three separate chances to best navigate her way toward the goal . 
in these trio of episodes , we gradually learn the unique effects of fate , for even if tiny changes are made in lola's journey , the future can be seriously altered . 
`run lola run' is an experience like `fight club' or `the matrix' , in that each film takes you through a super-charged wormhole of bending reality in surreal and exciting ways . 
in addition , all three movies have a visual style that separates them from the rest of the pack . 
`lola' is no exception , with stylish quick-flash camera work and cinematography that serves as scintillating eye candy from the get-go . 
tykwer's world is a landscape of mood and color , with brilliant shades of red and pink ( including lola's fiery hair ) used as effective symbolism throughout . 
with it's visual style and mind-blowing pace , `run lola run' is one of the more invigorating movies of the year . 
even more so when considering the fact it's all stuffed rather nonchalantly into an 81-minute time period . 
as a heroine , potente does little more than run wildly through the streets ( as the title suggests ) , but she has a certain flair and charisma . 
her exemplary running form made me wonder if she is actually a track star . 
meanwhile , bleibtreu does an equally fantastic job of bringing the dopey but passionate manni to life . 
both actors perform beyond the call of duty . 
the dazzling fun comes from predicting what each episode holds in store for lola , and the outcome is ultimately rewarding - several twists and turns are unique and unexpected . 
the other characters lola runs into ( both purposely and inadvertently ) include her banker father ( herbert kraup ) and a friendly security guard ( armin rohde ) , but aside from the two leads , no one has more than a few minutes of screen time . 
additional stars that couldn't possibly be ignored are cinematographer frank griebe and editor mathilde bonnefroy , who are both responsible for the film's eye-catching visual elegance . 
`run lola run' is subtitled , so be prepared to meet the challenge of reading the lightning-fast dialogue - occasional sections of it are especially fast . 
this is only one of the minor chores involved in watching . 
the other is the sense that we never get to really recognize who the real people are in this hyperactive situation . 
most are just chess pieces in tykwer's elaborate game of visual presentation , and he never really makes a significant move with any . 
but , the average viewer is likely to be so absorbed in the action that few will realize the lack of potency in a few elements of the screenplay . 
a few petty gripes aside , this film is a wild , exhilarating ride that turns maniacally on its wheel of originality . 
most people believe foreign films are mainly boring , talky character studies . 
perhaps `run lola run' will recharge their batteries . 
not only does this film offer insight into some intriguing questions of fate and destiny , it also delivers a white-knuckle visual rollercoaster ride of overwhelming audacity . 
like how the experience must have been for the persistent title character , `run lola run' is exhausting . 
"
"1","in "" the sweet hereafter , "" writer/director atom egoyan takes us beyond the tragedy of death into the tragedy of living . 
he shows us how it isn't dying that hurts , but rather the pain of living in the hereafter of death , and dealing with the loss and grief that it brings . 
on a cold winter day in a small , isolated town in british columbia , a school bus full of children slides off the highway and onto a frozen lake , where it cracks through the ice and sinks . 
fourteen children die , and numerous others are hurt . 
for the residents of this small town , all of whose children were on that bus , it is an earth-shattering event that resolutely alters their lives . 
they have always relied on each other in the past to deal with heartache and pain , but it seems that this tragedy is more than they can handle . 
alberta and risa walker , who own a local motel and lost their child in the accident , hire an attorney named mitchell stephens ( ian holm ) to bring a lawsuit against someone , anyone for responsibility . 
the bus driver , dolores driscoll ( gabrielle rose ) , is a kindly woman who loved the children and , although she lives with a burden of guilt , is not held responsible for the accident . 
the bus seems to have simply slipped on some ice , and there was nothing should could do to prevent it . 
however , according to stephens , there are no "" accidents "" in life , and someone will pay for this tragedy , whether that be the manufacturer of the bus or the guardrail the bus broke through . 
he goes through the town , approaching the parents who have lost children , asking them to join the class action suit and find vent for their anger . 
and , for his work , stephens will receive one-third of the settlement money . 
however , it is immediately apparent that stephens has little or no interest in the money . 
he is driven by something else , something deeper that he shares in common with the grieving parents . 
he has lost a child , too , but not in the same manner . 
his daughter , zoe ( caerthan banks ) , who once almost died in his arms as a young child after a spider bite , has been in and out of drug re-hab clinics and detox stations for ten years . 
she calls him on an irregular basis , begging him for money , but refusing to tell him what she needs it for . 
 "" i don't know who i'm taking to , "" he tells her . 
in his mind , his daughter is dead . 
the lawsuit is , to stephens , not only a way to mend the town's pain , but also his own . 
however , not everyone in town wants it to happen . 
billy ansell ( bruce greenwood ) , who was driving behind the bus when the accident happened and lost two children , wants nothing to do with it . 
he has already lost his wife , and he buries his grief in an affair with a married woman . 
he doesn't want to talk about the accident , and he sees the lawsuit as nothing more than the unnecessary opening of old wounds . 
to him , the town should be able to take care of its own pain , and it doesn't need outsiders like stephens getting in the way . 
central to "" the sweet hereafter "" is the tale of nicole burnell ( sarah polley ) , a teenage girl who dreams of being a singer before the accident turned her into "" a wheelchair girl , "" as she puts it . 
aside from stephens , nicole is the most complex character in the film , and it is she who ultimately decides the fate of the town and how the lawsuit will turn out . 
it is also her sad , haunted voice that we often hear on the soundtrack , reading robert browning's poem about the pied piper , and how when he led all the town's children away , one was left behind because he was crippled . 
obviously , nicole is that child , and she feels somehow betrayed that the rest of the town's children left her alone by dying in the wreck . 
her situation is further complicated because she is involved in a loving , but incestuous relationship with her father ( tom mccamus ) . 
there is only one , fleeting scene that suggests this relationship , but it is somehow tied into the final act of the film . 
of all the storylines in "" the sweet hereafter , "" this is the most complicated and unresolved , although its implications stretch throughout the entirety of the film . 
egoyan knows that the kinds of questions he brings up have no simple answers -- if any at all -- and he doesn't condescend to the audience by trying to neatly wrap it up . 
what egoyan has done in "" the sweet hereafter "" is really nothing short of miraculous . 
in his adaptation of the novel by russell banks , he has made a deeply moving film about a lawyer by transcending the pettiness of law and driving headlong into the deeper meaning of what is loss , and how pitiful monetary and material possessions are when compared to human life . 
egoyan has always been a talented , but distant and cerebral filmmaker whose work suffered only in that it felt so cold . 
 "" the sweet hereafter "" is quite the opposite ; egoyan's stylistic and narrative structures work brilliantly to heighten the impact of the natural emotion , and draw the audience into the tragedy . 
 "" the sweet hereafter "" seems to contain the combined emotional impact that all his other films lacked . 
the film is filled with beautiful , subtle performances from all the actors , especially ian holm as the lawyer and sarah polley as the sad child who was left behind . 
the beautiful , roving camerawork by paul sarossy and the haunting , melodic musical score by mychael danna ( both previous egoyan collaborators ) give the film a visual and aural cohesiveness with the thematic elements . 
like his earlier films , egoyan weaves together multiple storylines that form a blanketing whole . 
he works with time as a fluid substance , shifting back and forth between the past , the distant past , and the present with effortless ease . 
the actual bus wreck itself doesn't happen until midway through the film , but by that time the event has built up so much emotion that egoyan can film it from a distance with no graphic detail , and still have it carry great , devastating weight . 
because human life has become such a cheap commodity in movies , it is astounding that egoyan can convey so much heartbreak in such simple , direct terms . 
certainly one of the best films of 1997 , "" the sweet hereafter "" is a deeply rewarding , mystifying , and ultimately human film . 
"
"1","when i first heard about scream in 1996 , i was told that it was a spoof of horror movies . 
from the master of the horror himself , wes craven , it ridiculed the cliches of the genre by overemphasizing them , by making the teenagers do what they know they're not supposed to do when a serial killer is stalking them ( don't run up the stairs when you can easily go out the front door , never say "" i'll be right back , "" etc . ) . 
when i first heard this description , i figured that it was an easy way out of making a bad movie . 
how hard is it to make an extremely terrible film but claim it is actually a mockery of other bad movies . 
was this wes craven's remedy from making "" real "" bad movies such as vampires in brooklyn ? 
it just seemed cheap to me . 
then i actually saw the movie and the first twenty minutes , involving drew barrymore and a nail-bitingly intense phone conversation , completely changed my attitude . 
scream is not only a clever parody of your standard horror flick , it's also a pretty scary movie . 
if you've seen a million of these kinds of films , you know exactly what is going to happen . 
this is part of the fun of watching scream . 
the movie reminds avid horror fans how similar and repetitive the genre is and it also reminds them how great a guilty pleasure it can be to watch pointless and predictable violence to innocent , attractive teenagers . 
to those who rarely see these types of movies , scream is a thrilling unpredictable ride that could be mistaken as a serious slasher film . 
there's nothing wrong with that misjudgment though . 
i have witnessed viewers from both sides of the audience , the newbies to horror and the fanatics . 
their opinions on the film were so different but both very positive . 
from these varied reviews , i am convinced that scream has not only revived the teen horror movie and the normal teen romance movies but also the hilarious parodies of these and other categories . 
films that both deride and celebrate genres like galaxy quest and the big hit would not have existed , in my opinion , if it was not for the outstanding success of scream . 
the low - budget 1996 gem may , alongside pulp fiction , be the most influential film of the 1990's . 
this influence may exist to the chagrin of some moviegoers who despise movies like teaching mrs . tingle or television programs such as dawson's creek but to others such as myself , we congratulate the movie that has opened new doors for excellent young actors , screenwriters , and directors . 
scream is also an extremely funny movie thanks to its quickly-paced script by kevin williamson . 
within the film are characters who tell other characters , as well as the audience , the basic rules and cliches of a horror movie . 
mainly from the rants of randy ( jamie kennedy ) and stu ( matthew lillard ) , we are reminded not only of the obvious and hilarious rules but also some of the more subtle stereotypes that when thought over are mostly true as well ( the virgin always survives ; have sex and you're dead meat ) . 
not only are we treated these rules on a plate but also the rules are referenced to a number of different films and actors . 
the script feels like an obsessive essay from a college film geek who has nothing better to do but find every little blunder from every little film for his own self-satisfaction . 
in this case , williamson finds these errors for the audience's satisfaction and amusement . 
i hear there is a new movie coming out called scary movie which is a spoof of scream , which is a spoof of scary movies . 
i will certainly see the film but i have the feeling that this parody will be more obviously ridiculing the genre rather than scream's perfect subtlety . 
however my last gut feeling about this stuff , scream , was dead wrong . . . 
so who knows . 
"
"1","in present day hanoi , three sisters reflect on their parents' relationship while trying to define their own in writer/director tran anh hung's ( "" the scent of green papaya "" ) "" the vertical ray of the sun . "" 
youngest sister lien ( tran nu yen-khe ) greets the day with hai ( ngo quanq hai ) , the only brother whom she rooms and relentlessly flirts with . 
their morning ritual of tai chi and lou reed precedes crossing the street to eldest sister suong's ( nguyen nhu quynh ) cafe , where lien works , for breakfast . 
the three sisters lovingly prepare their mother's memorial banquet of traditional delicacies , prepared as much for look as taste , while giggling over the differences between the sexes . 
after the family breaks from the banquet , we learn that suong's young son 'little monkey' is doted upon , but there's a distance developing with her husband quoc ( chu ngoc hung ) , who's leaving for one of his habitual botanical photography trips . 
middle sister khanh ( tran manh cuong ) tells her writer husband she's pregnant before he leaves on a trip to saigon to research tuan , a mysterious man in his mother-in-law's past . 
lien keeps crawling into hai's bed at night , causing him to fall out of it . 
the initial serenity we witnessed starts turning into a soap opera before coming to full circle one month later , as the three women prepare their father's memorial banquet . 
 "" the vertical ray of the sun "" is a contemplative piece where strong passions exist underneath calm exteriors . 
sly humor , self deceit and harsh truths all exist in the cyclic screenplay . 
tran anh hung and his cinematographer mark lee ping-bin ( "" flowers of shanghai "" ) linger over and repeat the small gestures of everyday life - a wife washes her husbands hands , a woman makes water dance in a bowl , a man pulls his lover to face him before they part . 
small spaces such as rooms , alleys and courtyards create intimacy . 
the color green , symbolizing life and tranquility , is used heavily in the film's visual styling , lapsing into yellowish hues and blues . 
writer/director tran anh hung's film recalls ang lee's "" eat drink man woman , "" another tale of three sisters of varying modernity coming together traditionally for a parent . 
but while lee's more traditionally story-driven film resulted in radical changes for all concerned , "" the vertical ray of the sun's "" characters strive for peaceful harmony . 
watching it is like trailing your fingertips in a stream on a cool spring day . 
"
"1","star wars : episode i - the phantom menace review 
a review by jamey hughton stars ) 
starring-liam neeson , ewan mcgregor , natalie portman and jake lloyd director-george lucas rated g 
with all the hype that star wars : episode 1- the phantom menace has been receiving , it seems almost impossible to avoid interest in seeing the film . 
the movie is easily the most anticipated motion picture ever , with a marketing campaign so strong it has brought colonel sanders , the taco bell chihuahua and pizza hut together . 
can george lucas succeed yet again with transporting us back a long time ago , in a galaxy far , far away . . . . ? 
yes . this star wars prequel may be the worst of the bunch , with amateurish dialogue and an overall lack of humanity . 
but that doesn't mean it fails to comply on the basis of solid entertainment . 
the phantom menace features the most eye-catching , jaw-dropping visual look in cinematic history . 
the tremendous action sequences will have you clinging to your arm rest , and the special effects are nothing short of the best ( and most plentiful ) to ever be caught on film . 
the vast digitized worlds and sheer imagination that was applied to this project is astounding . 
the phantom menace is a delectable feast for the senses , even if it has some disappointing aspects . 
after we're treated to the famous prologue in the sky , with john williams' thundering score , we meet qui-gon jonn ( liam neeson ) and young obi-wan kenobi ( ewan mcgregor ) , a jedi master and his trainee `padawan' . 
they are on the ship accommodating the fleet headquarters for the evil trade federation , and have been sent to settle disputes regarding the taxation of trade routes to the planet of naboo . 
oh , but enough about that . 
the prime concern for this prequel is introducing young anakin skywalker ( jake lloyd ) into the picture . 
as you already know , this seemingly charming lad is the boy who will soon become darth vader . 
a spectacular pod race comes soon hereafter . 
this particular race is the most exciting , energetic , high-octane action sequence that you'll ever see . 
one of the delights of the series is meeting the newest set of strange alien creatures that lucas has devised , and the phantom menace is no exception . 
i loved sebulba , the rat-like scoundrel whom anakin has to face in the pod race , and boss nass , the leader of the gungans ( who are a neighbouring species to naboo ) . 
one character who has been subject to criticism is jar-jar binks , a member of the gungan race . 
jar-jar speaks like roger rabbit on a hallucinogenic drug , and is there for the sole purpose of supplying comic relief . 
yes , he is initially annoying , but i can admit to laughing over some of his harmless , goofy antics . 
there is some lack of dramatic pull in this star wars entry , but the presentation almost makes you forget the plot and character lapses . 
the final light-saber battle , between the jedi's and the horrific ( and terminally underused ) villain darth maul , is spectacular to behold . 
jabba the hutt , yoda , c-3po and r2-d2 have cameo appearances . 
lucas has not forget how to captivate an audience , even if his latest shows obvious signs of tiredness . 
one can only wonder what the possible technology will present for the next two installments , episode's i and ii . 
when they arrive , you'll know where to find me . 
"
"1","bob the happy bastard's quickie review : 
i must admit , no doubt's single "" new "" is quite catchy . 
it was bouncy and energetic enough to get me to go see this new film from director doug limon , the man who had brought us the humorous swingers a little while back . 
the result ? 
a movie that's just as good as that song , really . 
it follows the lives of several individuals over the course of one weekend . 
first we hear about a grocery bagger ( sara polley ) who runs into a monetary situation problem and ends up selling bogus drugs at a rave ( with bad results , as a drug dealer feels he's been swindled by her ) ; then comes the story of an english grocery store worker ( same store ) who heads to vegas for the weekend with friends , where sex , gunplay , and stolen car trouble come into play ; then we see the story of two gay movie actors ( played by scott wolf and jay mohr ) who deal with a cop's strange insurance presentation and hitting a girl ( sara ) with their car ; and , finally , we come to another grocery worker ( katie holmes ) who has a strange fascination with said drug dealer ( the one mentioned earlier ) . 
really , it's all confusing to keep track of in review format , your best bet is to just , well , go . 
the movie features some very good acting from all angles , and limon adds the same humorous energy he had with swingers to this particular product . 
the dialogue is pretty snappy and the resolution is pretty well realized , not going for the sappy happy ending nor the dreaded bad ending . 
think of it as a , well , ending . 
the intertwining of stories is a particularly good element to the movie , as it's never really confusing and tells different sides of the story , like sliding doors kinda did . 
however , it's better suited for the younger generation who want a little spice in their flicks , which sliding doors kinda isn't . 
"
"1","while watching "" shallow grave , "" i found myself periodically noticing thematic similarities to the coens' "" blood simple . "" 
both are good films in which several characters , none of whom are the most conscientious to have walked the earth but still are not really evil , indulge in an act of deception that soon necessitates more serious crimes . 
the body count rises , and before long seemingly normal people have blood on their hands . 
both films are also flawed , but for different reasons . 
 "" blood simple "" is unrelentingly dark and moody , but its characterizations were a little hollow . 
 "" shallow grave , "" on the other hand , is nearly flawless for an hour and twenty minutes , and then the filmmakers throw away much of what they'd accomplished for a more standard , audience-pleasing ending . 
the events of the film were sufficiently intense and disturbing that i honestly felt quite troubled by what i was witnessing on screen most of the time , yet there was a slight grin on my face at the end . 
as the film begins , we are introduced to alex ( ewan mcgregor ) , juliet ( kerry fox ) , and david ( christopher eccleston ) , a scottish trio living in an apartment in glasgow . 
they are all sarcastic and occasionally obnoxious , but other than that they seem like a fairly normal bunch . 
a man named hugo moves into the apartment's remaining vacancy , and the next morning he is found dead of a drug overdose . 
juliet is about to call the police when alex discovers that hugo had brought with him a suitcase filled to the brim with cash ( presumably from criminal activities ) . 
the three eventually decide to keep the money and cover up the death ; after a drawing of straws , the particularly unenviable task of mutilating the body so as to make it unidentifiable and burying it falls to david , who had been the most reluctant to partake in the scheme from the beginning . 
all of this transpires in the first twenty minutes or so of the film , and part of what makes "" shallow grave "" so brilliant for a while is that i honestly had no idea what was coming next . 
other than the obvious question of why they don't report the death and simply hide the cash , which is not addressed , the plotting and characterization , while sometimes predictable , worked in a way that kept my attention and , on more than one occasion , gave me chills . 
i will , therefore , attempt to continue this review in a way that doesn't give away too much of the plot . 
broadly , the trio are in danger due to hugo's underworld connections , as two goons search for the money and kill several people in the process . 
a police inspector ( ken stott ) is clearly suspicious and visits the apartment , asking pointed questions and trying to unnerve the three suspects by exchanging banal and weirdly humorous bits of dialogue with a junior detective . 
david , meanwhile , becomes increasingly paranoid , moves into the attic , and develops an affinity for sharp objects . 
director danny boyle effectively creates an atmosphere of mounting tension and suspicion in the apartment , and finally the three seem ready to turn against each other . 
while i do not consider myself the "" happy endings are automatically stupid "" type , i thought that "" shallow grave "" really should have ended in tragedy - a realistic analysis of the story up to the last ten minutes of the film would indicate that all three characters were probably about to end up in prison , in the mental hospital , or in the morgue . 
this could have been accomplished , quite credibly , but then boyle and screenwriter john hodge seem to flinch and opt for a more conventional "" caper "" ending in which we get a kick out of seeing who outsmarted whom , and nothing more . 
granted , this isn't really a "" happy "" ending , but it's still pretty light-hearted compared to what preceded it . 
i really shouldn't say anything more about the ending as far as details go , but let me add that it seemed not only shallow and lazy but also inconsistent with the rest of the film and not very believable . 
yes , this ending made me crack a smile for a couple of minutes , but ultimately it left me feeling as if i'd been cheated . 
still , "" shallow grave "" was brilliant most of the way through , and it does at least meet the minimum requirements for an entertaining thriller , and i am therefore awarding it three stars . 
i guess i just can't help but think about that fourth star that boyle and hodge let slip away . 
"
"1","since most movies about slavery shield us from the true horrors of what they're portraying , it's fitting to say that "" beloved "" come as a real shock as a film . 
it's confusing , bizarre , and as tough a film to watch as any film i've seen all year , and that's not necessarily because of the three-hour running time . 
 "" beloved "" is challenging to watch , filled with tough and powerful poetry that takes us completely off guard , and instead of a straight-forward , hollywood-ized story about what happened to the slaves after they were freed , "" beloved "" comes off as a cry of anguish from all those who actually lived through what happened ( or , rather , toni morrison , who wrote the novel upon which this is based ) . 
 "" beloved "" tells the story of an ex-slave named sethe , played by oprah winfrey , who lives on a large farm in the north with her children . 
when the film opens , her house is being terrorized by a poltergeist , which shakes things up , wounds the dog , and makes things generally uncomfortable for the family . 
sethe is proud , though , and will not move . 
her sons run away , leaving only her and her daughter , denver ( kimberly elise ) alone with the ghost which is there without any factual explanation . 
a couple years pass , and the ghost remains , and one day , a man named paul d ( danny glover ) , another ex-slave who knew sethe years ago when they worked on a plantation together , arrives , asking for lodging . 
he has been wandering around since he left the plantation , and when he enters the house , it turns red and becomes incredibly hot . 
when he remarks about what he thinks is evil , sethe replies "" it ain't evil . 
it's just sad . "" 
some more time passes , and paul d has become a fervent member of the household , and the ghost disappears . 
but when they return one day from going out , they discover a young woman sitting in the house . 
her name is beloved , and as played by thandie newton , she has almost zero motor skills . 
she stumbles around , half-grabbing onto things and knocking them over , and when she speaks , she lets out a low guttural sound that eventually turns into baby talk . 
they let her into her house , and she begins to turn things upside down . 
 "" beloved "" acts like an incredibly difficult chamber drama paired with a ghost story . 
most of the scenes consist of people arguing in one claustrophobic , low-lit room , with the occasional flash to the past , where we see images of such horror that we thank god for modern-day psychoanalysts . 
sethe and paul d have lived through such hellish times that they are forever implanted with the memories of their slavehood on the old plantation , which includes such images as sethe being raped by the white plantation hands , with her nipples being licked , prompting her to cry out to paul d when reminiscing about it , "" they took my milk ! "" 
worst of all was the month after her freedom , when she was allowed to live like a free person , working with other blacks on a farm , and then seeing that her old plantation owners have arrived to presumedly take her and her children back . 
she runs to the barn near by , carrying her four children , and when her old owners burst in , they discover she has murdered one of them and is ready to murder the rest of them if they don't leave them alone . 
when she is inquired about this moment by paul d in a moment halfway through the film , she says she doesn't regret it . 
she killed her daughter so that she would not have to live through the horror she did , and she has convinced herself she did the right thing . 
of course , beloved is really her daugher materialized , though we aren't flat out told that until later on in the film . 
beloved represents the pain and suffering the slaves went through and shows how difficult it was for them to deal with their freedom after being tortured for so long . 
thus , "" beloved "" becomes a sorta-redux of the andrei tarkofsky sci-fi classic , "" solaris , "" where a cosmonaut discovers that his wife , who commited suicide years before , has materialized when he is orbiting over a planet with a complex brain system . 
that film spoke volumes about humanity and our memories , how we are constantly regretting what happened in the past , and when if it ever literally came back to haunt us , it would control us completely . 
 "" beloved "" moves along freely , without a lot of explanation , and for the most part , this is extremely respectable . 
the most interesting films are the ones that don't explain everything for us , leaving gaps in the characters that we are supposed to fill in with how they act in the present tense . 
sethe is never fully explained as a character , but we understand all her actions since she's being played by oprah winfrey . 
it's been well over a decade since her last major performance in "" the color purple , "" but judging from these two films , i'll bet she's one of the best actresses working today . . . if 
she was strictly an actress . 
her talk show , which i suppose is a great entity , has prevented her from becoming a noteworthy actress , and that's a shame because she brings so much to this movie . 
emotion . 
sadness . 
strength . 
watching the strong sethe , who's so afraid of the past that she's built a rather strong protective coating around herself , break down when she discovers who beloved really is is what makes this movie really great . 
she makes it real . 
that's not to say this is a perfect film . 
in fact , i'd wager to say that the fact that it's confusing and painful to watch is what prevents this from being the truly great film it is . 
while oprah's performance is powerful and easily sympathetic ( and i'm dying to see her win at least an oscar nomination this february ) , the structure of the film , which doesn't show what happened to her children till halfway through the film , prevents us from really making a cohesive connection to the film . 
it doesn't necessarily move as though they're memories of one particular character , and by the end , it has lost control over sethe , and as she takes to bed , we are unable to truly identify with her anymore . 
but despite its tediousness , perhaps that's the point . 
the distancing by the end of the film may be just part of the way it has been built from the start , since they figure she has crossed over from being identifiable , and it needs to get back with reality . 
and for the most part , this film seems like the cry of pain from the slaves that it really wants to be . 
jonathan demme's direction is bizarre , in nature with the story , and he creates the right mood , making it a tough film to sit through , making sure that the audience feels as uncomfortable as the characters . 
there's more to admire here , like the way that the flashbacks pop up freely and without real organization , just like they would be in real life ; and the way that the ending leaves it somewhat open to more pain and suffering , but laced with a touch of optimism . 
the acting , not only from winfrey , is amazing , and i anticipate not only she will get an oscar nomination . 
everyone has been raving about thandie newton's performance , and how it should be rewarded . 
however , it must be noted that out of everyone , she had the easiest part . 
act like a baby . 
throw things . 
stumble around . 
chew food with your mouth open . 
i do think there's another performance worthy of oscar conisderation , but it's kimberly elise , as the daugher who has to stay sensible and sane , and has to carry the burden of her mother's loss of reality towards the end . 
it's not that newton isn't great : she's as annoying and wacky as the role demands . 
it's just that elise has the tougher job and pulls it off even better . 
despite the fact that this film has winfrey written all over it , and not that of writer morrison or director demme , "" beloved "" has still not done well . 
costing , i think , around ninety million dollars , it has since grossed about twenty-two . 
unfortunately , this film is a little too intense for viewers , even for me , and i can stand almost anything ( i recently viewed the 2 1/2 hour long epic "" caligula , "" the worst film i have ever seen in my life , and did it in a mere 2 sittings ) . 
although i respect "" beloved , "" i can't say that i really enjoyed it . 
"
"1","usually a movie is about something more than a soiled rug , but not the big lebowski . 
the new offering from the creators of 1996's critical hit fargo , is to say the least , wildly entertaining . 
originality has always been a strong trait in the coen brother's movies , and the big lebowski is insanely original . 
it begins oddly enough when jeff "" the dude "" lebowski ( jeff bridges ) is mistaken for a millionaire , jeff "" the big "" lebowski ( david huddleston ) , who's wife , bunny ( tara reid ) owes money all over town . 
two goons , out to collect on bunny's debt break into dude's house . 
they attempt to collect the money that bunny owes them and one of them urinates on his rug . 
the next day dude explains his situation to his bowling team ( steve buscemi & john goodman , respectively . ) 
he is advised to go to the big lebowski and get him to pay for the defiled rug . 
he does this , and shortly after gets tied up in a kidnapping caper . 
this is a extremely funny movie with lots of belly laugh moments . 
the coen brothers have assembled a great cast that play off each other perfectly . 
also several great supporting roles , john turturro as a child molesting bowler named jesus . 
the coen's script plays off perfectly and it all goes together to make it extremely entertaining . 
i doubt this movie will be nearly as popular as fargo , but its off the wall moments make it so far the best of 1998 . 
if you like anything else the coen brothers have done you will love this one , if not they give this one a try its a little different . 
"
"1","with the opening scene of a young couple in a van pulling up , loading their guns , kissing each other and uttering what sounds like "" rock and roll ! "" 
 ( actually , it's "" lock and load "" ) , you can't help thinking tarantino . 
and of course with its storyline of a crazy girl and boy in love who turn to violent bank robbery , the film unapologetically takes its place alongside all those other films from bonnie & clyde to natural born killers . 
but if most of those movies have their roots in pulp fiction , exploring a modern myth of the doomed rebels on the run , normal life takes a much more psychologically realistic look at the phenomenon . 
 "" inspired by true events "" -- we've heard that one before , and yet in no other tale of violent couples has it seemed so solidly demonstrated . . . 
or so strangely poignant . 
for this is a story of real people whose lives take on a steadily unreal quality , who in their search for a normal life find themselves increasingly unhinged . 
beginning with their final arrest , the film goes back to trace the relationship between chris ( luke perry ) , a policeman , and pam ( ashley judd ) , a factory worker . 
they fall in love and marry , but pam's increasingly erratic behaviour ( going on spending sprees , slashing herself with a knife after an argument ) begin to trouble the solid and stable chris . 
when chris gets sacked , they find themselves heavily in debt and near breaking up . 
then , chris begins to rob banks . . . 
luke perry accomplishes the not-inconsiderable feat of making us nearly forget that he was ever in beverly hills 90210 or buffy the vampire slayer . 
moustached , with a tough paternal look and yet a voice and eyes that suggest sadness verging on exasperation , he is perfectly cast as the long-suffering husband . 
 ( it's another of john mcnaughton's coups of casting-against-type , after transforming robert de niro into nerd and bill murray into gangster in mad dog and glory ) . 
but it is the character of pam who commands centrestage , and ashley judd rises to the challenge with great alternating currents of ferocity and tenderness , making pam into a fascinating yet often infuriating person . 
if the performance falls short of greatness , however , it is perhaps because the role of the mad woman has been done so often before it is virtually a staple of cinema , whether it's in betty blue , tom & viv or georgia . 
as in those movies , there's the danger that the performance seems mannered , a collection of screwy tics and tantrums designed for the oscar presentation piece . 
judd doesn't entirely avoid this pitfall , but pam's 'craziness' is best and most movingly presented in counterpoint to the more 'normal' chris . 
when pam reacts to her father-in-law's death by showing up at the funeral in rollerblades and blaring headphones , chris' face is the picture of pained restraint . 
of course , it's the question of what is 'normal' that is asked in normal life . 
mcnaughton constantly offers up the ironies of the aspirations for the average domestic life and its kinship with insanity . 
it is the rational chris that loves guns ( "" shooting is about precision , control "" ) and the 'crazy' pam that loves astronomy and yearns for a dog ( who is then called chaos -- "" chaos and you and me . . . 
we're a real family "" , she notes wryly ) . 
it is chris' methodical mind and his knowledge of police procedure that allows him to be such a successful bank robber ( his well-planned disguise as a bearded , roaring man of terror is another piece of method in madness ) . 
in the carpark where he sets out for his first robbery , a huge sign on a shopping mall stands out in the background : "" buy-more "" -- the perfectly respectable consumption-crazy american dream that has driven pam to her extravagant purchases , and both of them into desperate situations . 
it's not a perfect film . 
some of the dialogue is a touch too banal ( perhaps intentionally ? ) . 
the use of the punk hardcore soundtrack in pam's crazed scenes comes rather too close to making emotional disturbance seem glamourous and sexy an image which only detracts from the rest of the film . 
indeed , as in mcnaughton's seminal film henry : portrait of a serial killer , it is the avoidance of glamour or sensationalism , the denial of some of the standard thrills of the outlaw film genre , that gives this determinedly unflashy , moving film its great strengths . 
mcnaughton has filmed this story with a quiet , coolly 'realistic' method that works far better than any nbk theatrics at unsettling the viewer . 
the suburbs , with their miles of white-fenced houses and identikit malls , take on a sense of claustrophobic blankness . 
in its very different way , this makes for as haunting a backdrop as the wide open spaces in terence malick's badlands . 
while pam shares the yearnings of malick's heroes to escape from ordinary life , chris takes up crime precisely so that they can lead a 'normal life' - their little house on the suburbs is financed by his violent robberies . 
but these are dreams defined by , constrained by , and even doomed by , the limitations of the 'normal' , conventional world . 
pam's final scene takes place at the edge of the suburbs , where wild bushes grow -- symbolically the frontier , the outer limits of her society , but also quite literally the end of the road , where there is nowhere left to go but to the final tragic denouement . 
the flying inkpot's rating system : * wait for the video . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"1","it's not often that i laugh so hard at a movie that my head hurts . 
but that's just what happened to me at uhf , weird al yankovic's big screen debut . 
uhf is a television parody a la airplane , and like airplane , the movie is extraordinarily stupid . 
but it's dumb in the best way a movie can be dumb : it's so silly and outrageous it's hilarious . 
the movie stars weird al as george newman , a world class nerd with a hyperactive imagination , the type who fantasizes he's indiana jones and who uses hostess twinkies as hot dog buns . 
george is basically a loser ; his daydreams and smart-alec attitude perpetually prevent him from holding onto a job for more than two weeks . 
but george finally gets a chance to funnel his creativity into something productive when his uncle wins channel 62 in a poker game and makes him the general manager of the struggling uhf television station . 
george revives channel 62 with innovative programming : shows like "" wheel of fish "" and movies like "" conan , the librarian . "" 
as the station's ratings rise , it comes into competition with channel 8 , the leading vhf network-affiliate . 
as r . j . 
fletcher--channel 8's ill-natured , hard-nosed owner--veteran stage and film actor kevin mccarthy is flamboyantly sleazy ; he really hams it up with his snorts , grimaces , and scowls . 
uhf satirizes anything and everything to do with television , including game shows , tabloid talk shows , children's shows , dizzy news women , and movies--everything from rambo to close encounters . 
the funniest scene , the one that made my head spin , is a commercial for spatulas which has to be seen to be believed . 
like most movies in its genre , uhf is hit or miss . 
for every gag that works , at least one fizzles . 
for instance , weird al's mock video of "" money for nothing "" by dire straits is only mildly amusing and brings the film to a grinding halt ( although it does have some nifty computer animation ) . 
but the funniest bits in uhf are so hysterical that we can forgive the ones that fail ; we know another gut wrencher is on the way . 
in fact , uhf hits the mark often enough to make it the most effective airplane-type movie since . . . 
well , since airplane . 
much of the credit goes to weird al's exceptionally inventive script and to the movie's winsome cast . 
weird al seems a little stiff at the beginning , but because he's not afraid to look silly , he ultimately has a lot of fun with his character . 
the real standout is michael richards as stanley , the dim-witted janitor who becomes the host of his own children's show : "" stanley spadowski's playhouse . "" 
stanley's off-beat , mixed-up personality is a big hit with the audience and makes him an over-night star . 
he is an endearing mixture of good-natured innocence , high-energy enthusiasm , and puppy-dog cuteness . 
and above all , he's a good janitor who adores his work . 
another highlight is a vintage cameo by the incomparable emo philips . 
the cast also features gedde watanabe ( the chinese foreign-exchange student in sixteen candles ) as the karate master who hosts the hit series , "" wheel of fish . "" 
also aboard for the ride is fran drescher , who plays pamela finklestein , channel 62's roving reporter . 
unfortunately , as weird al's girlfriend , victoria jackson is wasted in a role that calls for nothing but whimpering , whining , and sulking . 
her character is extraneous and should have been either further integrated into the story or cut from the script altogether . 
while uhf is not an absolute must-see , it's definitely the ticket if you're looking for a wild and zany , whacked-out comedy . 
the movie is good enough to see in the theaters , but it may work even better on television , the very medium at which it pokes fun . 
"
"1","it's hard not to recommend "" the others . "" 
the supernatural thriller , written and directed by alejandro amen ? bar ( "" open your eyes "" ) , adroitly establishes and maintains a low-key atmosphere of menace . 
the cinematography , by javier aguirresarobe , is as good as i have ever seen and nicole kidman gives another in her growing body of fine performances . 
but the pacing of the story moves from deliberate to downright sluggish and the payoff of the tale left me less than satisfied . 
overall , the film plays like a very high quality version of any number of old "" twilight zone "" episodes where the characters spend a great deal of time wandering about looking afraid and disoriented , only to learn they are actually a child's toy , a military test subject or a department store dummy . 
watching those vintage shows and listening to the players chatter , i always wanted to shout , "" get on with it ! "" 
as much as i appreciated the atmosphere and acting in "" the others , "" my reaction was much the same . 
set at an island mansion off the coast of england during world war ii , the story focuses on grace ( kidman ) , who tends to her children anne ( alakina mann ) and nicholas ( james bentley ) and worries about her husband , charles ( christopher eccleston ) , a missing serviceman . 
anne and nicholas suffer from photosensitivity and grace patrols the estate with the keys to all 50 doors , protecting the little ones from excess light by making sure that only one door is open at a time . 
at the beginning of the film , three servants , mrs . mills ( fionnula flanagan ) , young , mute lydia ( elaine cassidy ) , and mr . tuttle ( eric sykes ) , an aging gardener , join the family . 
the two that speak seem agreeable enough at first , but it soon becomes apparent that they know something that grace does not . 
to make matters worse , the children are upset : nicholas is unusually jittery and anne claims to be seeing ghosts . 
grace attempts to blame the troubles on the new arrivals to her home , only to realize that whatever is happening is beyond them . 
that's essentially the whole story , with the tension growing until the pivotal moment when everything becomes clear . 
earlier , there is an outstanding scene where grace darts outside , only to be enveloped in fold after fold of shimmering fog . 
the visuals in the otherworldly sequence , courtesy of aguirresarobe , are simply astounding . 
i also enjoyed the presence of religion , a rarity in films dealing with the supernatural . 
grace is a christian and answers her children's questions about life and death with the assurance of a devout worshiper . 
when mother is away , though , the kids speculate whether her statements are fact or folklore , just as real children do . 
but those nice touches fail to enliven a film that is too slow or make up for a lackluster ending . 
 "" the others "" sets out to be a classic ghost story , but fails to grasp that special something that makes such films more than layers of mist . 
"
"1"," "" a private matter "" is based on the true story of sherri finkbine and the events in her life during the 1960s . 
after becoming pregnant ( for the fifth time ) she learns that some tranquilizers she had taken have seriously deformed her unborn child . 
she and her husband decide , with the help of her doctor , to have an abortion . 
but this is the 1960s , and abortion is illegal . 
her doctor has made arrangements to have the procedure performed withing the law , by claiming that the child is endangering the mother's life . 
everything is about to work out just fine , until sherri has the uncontrollable urge to talk about her situation with a local reporter . 
this sets off a media frenzy and immediately sherri is the most hated woman in the world . 
she and her husband are fired from their jobs , reporters are surrounding their home at all times , and most importantly , no one in the country ( and eventually other countries ) will perform the abortion . 
this causes emotion problems for all involved . 
 "" a private matter "" is a fascinating story and it's hard to believe that this only happened 30 years or so ago . 
it's only flaw is that not once is there ever a satisfactory confrontation with sherri and any of her opponents . 
one woman passing her on the street telss her to burn in hell , and when sherri appropriately yells back , "" just tell me what i'm supposed to do , "" the woman has no answer . 
no one apparently had an answer , they just wanted to control what should have been only the choice of sherri and her husband . 
this is an important film , telling an important story . 
it's not just about not wanting another child , it's about not wanting a child who will cause severe changes in their family , none of which could be beneficial . 
sydney pollack served as executive producer for this made for hbo movie . 
"
"1","director jan de bont certainly knows how to make top quality action films . 
you need look no further than die hard ( he was director of photography ) , speed and last years twister for examples of his hi- octane , edge of your seat thrill prowess . 
speed 2 is no exception . 
this time , the action takes place on a huge cruise liner , on which sandra bullock and jason patrick are trying to develop their relationship . 
yep , that's right , no keanu reeves this time , but fear not , jason patrick is more than up to the job . 
speaking of which , the job at hand is to stop completely bonkers terrorist , willem dafoe , from crashing the liner into a huge island , after stealing a diamond collection . 
the reason for this act of destruction is revenge . 
after years of working for the company that builds cruise liner computers , he contracts copper poisoning and is retired . 
naturally , what entails next is a lot of running/jumping about and general high quality action as jason patrick does his level best to save the day . 
thinking back on this film , you can't help , but admire it's structure . 
the way , willem dafoe initiates his plan and throws red herrings to the crew and passengers . 
the race against time to save the liner from crashing , and of course , the finale chase scence . 
 ( although this is ruined by an over the top , one too many stunt and explosion . ) 
simple in construction , effective in it's execution , and the result , a clear and concise , highly enjoyable action film . 
the acting is adequate , although it's darned obvious that sandra bullock is only in it to create a 'hot totty' appeal to the men ( and she does that perfectly ! ) , jason patrick fills the action hero role superbly and willem dafoe is just great as the crazed terrorist . 
overall , speed 2 is a most enjoyable thrill ride . 
not up to it's predecessor's high calibre but very good all the same . 
there is plenty going on , some of the thrills are quite tense and it also proves that you do not need blood and guts to make a good action movie . 
"
"1","after indecent proposal and up close and personal , redford was wise to direct himself in a picture at last . 
redford may look great on-screen , but over the past few years , he's proven himself a bigger talent behind the camera . 
ordinary people is one of the best films of the nineteen-eighties , and it was the first picture he helmed . 
while the milagro beanfield war was only occasionally successful at combining magic-realism with . . . um , 
realism , and i've never been much of a fan of a river runs through it ( to the chagrin of many ) , quiz show was dazzling , energetic and convincing . 
the horse whisperer represents both his directorial return to nature films and the first time in that sub-genre redford seems equally concerned with humans and scenery . 
scott-thomas plays annie maclean , an uptight but respected new york magazine editor whose daughter grace ( johanssen ) loses a leg and a good friend when an early morning ride climaxes with their horses colliding with a semi . 
grace's horse survived , but barely , and has gone mad . 
annie refuses to put the animal out of his misery , believing that if the horse heals it will mend grace's newly-broken spirit . 
eventually , mother and daughter travel alone to montana to be with tom booker ( redford ) , a famed "" horse whisperer "" who has a gift of calming horses with simple looks and touches , leaving busy husband neill behind . 
eventually , they move onto the booker ranch with the rest of tom's family , and annie finds herself falling in love with all things montana , including , naturally , tom , the wise and lonely trainer . 
the horse whisperer is delicately made . 
i dare say lyrical , since to many people's ear , that word is synonymous with boring . 
hardly . 
the horse whisperer has little to offer in the way of surprise , but it does have an honesty that is refreshing and consistently enjoyable to watch , especially in the final third of the story . 
scott-thomas and johanssen seem like mother and daughter , and you have no doubt believing that the mountain vistas would put these new yorkers under a spell , especially since d . p . 
robert richardson's photography casts montana as heaven on earth . 
 ( a gimmicky but effective technique the filmmakers employ is a switch in aspect ratio from squarish to widescreen when the central location shifts from new york to montana . ) 
the underrated sam neill turns in perhaps his most heartfelt , emotive performance as the nice-guy husband , who is as authoritive and likeable as tom . 
he is indeed a refreshing change from the sexist , lout of a husband so many writers resort to as a short-cut for explaining away the cheating spouse's motivation . 
unfortunately , one of the horse whisperer's only flaws is the chemistry between would-be lovers scott-thomas and redford . 
i liked both of them , but i didn't necessarily believe that redford would fall for such a cold fish , even if the countryside air thawed her slightly . 
luckily ( and curiously ) , this is such a rich and textured movie that it doesn't quite matter-their adultery seems like an afterthought , the obligatory sub-plot that ties many of the characters' complex relationships together . 
"
"1","sam ( matthew broderick ) is an astronomer in a small american town and engaged to teacher linda ( kelly preston ) . 
he is head over heels in love and lindas sudden departure to new york city to live with her new lover anton ( tch ? ky karyo ) comes as a complete surprise to him . 
but as we all know love is blind and so sam leaves for new york as well to win her back . 
he moves into an abandoned house across the street from anton's apartment and installs a camera obscura to watch them . 
suddenly anton's ex maggie shows up , but she does not want her former lover back . 
on the contrary , all she wants to do is vaporize him . 
she may say that she doesn't want to kill him , but the possibility doesn't bother her too much either . 
after all , people die every day . 
in spite of their different motives the two team up and fall for each other as things move on . 
the story sounds like something we all have seen a million times . 
but we haven't . 
griffin dunne brings us the most charming comedy since "" while you where sleeping "" . 
the camera obscura adds a "" special something "" to the movie and makes it an exceptional romantic comedy . 
everything about the movie is perfect , from set design to casting . 
the dialogues are inspired and the touches of black humor add a certain bite . 
meg ryan , known from "" when harry met sally "" or "" sleepless in seattle "" , surprises in a role that may finally help her get rid of her sweet little girl image . 
she impresses the viewer as a maneating biker girl . 
even more surprising is the fact that the viewer believes her , much more so than in last years "" courage under fire "" where she played a gulf war pilot . 
matthew broderick is the goodnatured and somewhat naive sam who has trouble accepting reality . 
the viewer can tell that he doesn't only watch the stars but also tries to reach out for them . 
he has trouble keeping in touch with reality . 
after all , who would leave everything behind to chase a lost love ? 
his naivet ? that we don't question for a minute throughout the movie clashes with maggies exaggerated wish for revenge . 
she would do anything to harm anton . 
she doesn't hesitate to use sam for her plan and makes him understand right from the beginning that nothing will happen between the two of them . 
that makes the scenes when they innocently share a bed , have potatoe chips and watch the action across the street like a saturday night show on tv even funnier . 
tch ? ky karyo is perfect as anton . 
he is , well , repulsive . 
that's all there is to say about him . 
you can't really manage to pity him , even after all his mishaps . 
he not only took sam's bride away from him , he is also a french chef . 
worlds collide , i . 
e . 
the usa and france . 
this can only go wrong . 
even if maggies revenge schemes are at times shocking , you just can't sympathize with a man who plays "" je t'aime . . . moi 
non plus "" on his tape deck . 
not everyone is captured by the french charme that linda and even maggie fell for . 
sam certainly isn't . 
too bad for anton . 
for him things take a turn to the worse . 
 "" addicted to love "" is one of this year's most pleasant surprises . 
"
"1","copyright 1996 graeme huggan carry on henry is all about henry viii and his eight wives ! 
sid james plays henry , who no sooner has the film started , is getting rid of his present queen and hopes to find another one soon . 
as part of his alliance with france , he requests the hand-in-marriage to the queen of normandy ( joan sims ) . 
she comes to england in the hope of marrying henry but when he finds out that she loves garlic and has a reeking garlic breath , he is totally averse to the idea of marriage . 
henry's court is very corrupt , with the cardinal ( terry scott ) trying to bribe cromwell ( kenneth williams ) and cromwell trying to bribe the king . 
there is a state of crisis when the king puts marie the queen ( sims ) in the tower of london ready for execution . 
the queen is pregnant but she has not liased with the king before , so fingers are pointed at sir roger de lodgerley played by charles hawtrey , who has a rather lecherous character to play this time . 
the cardinal and cromwell decide to get a signed confession from sir roger by using all kinds of torture devices ! 
owing to circumstances , sir roger is sometimes needed to sign that he is the father and sometimes that he isn't . 
this is because of renewed threats by the king of france ( peter gilmore ) to come over himself , which in the end he does . 
by then , henry has found himself a new queen , played by none other than barbara windsor ! 
it looks like he has some explaining to do ! 
there are stand-out performances by sid james as henry , joan sims as marie , and terry scott in an unusual role as the cardinal . 
also there are cameos from kenneth connor and peter butterworth , who plays barbara's father . 
the set and costume design is first class and the overall production of this film is good . 
there is even an early appearance from david prowse , who later became the green cross code man and darth vader . 
the film does have it's downsides though , as it is getting pretty routine for the carry-on team to stage historical films and the inventive streak of the script seems to run out pretty quickly . 
there is also the absence of hattie jacques and bernard bresslaw , who could have helped the film along . 
however , overall the film is funny and there are plenty of laughs and saucy jokes , so that is why i mainly recommend it to carry on fans only , but there is enough humour in the film to make it worth anyone's while to sit down and watch it . 
"
"1","this "" dumb "" cowboy blondie who thinks he is a `darn' good loverboy , decides to leave his dusty ol' town somewhere in texas and go to new york . 
he puts on his beloved cowboy attire and off he hops on the next new york coach . 
when he arrives to new york , he immediately sets out to play mr playboy thinking he is the best `darn' `stud' in the whol'o' new york city . 
obviously he fails . 
he meets the 'cripple' rico ( dustin hoffman , who is terrifically good ) in a bar . 
rico has a leg that is paralysed from the knee down , so he walks in a peculiar way . 
rico is a thief and wants to get some money off this 'rich' dumb cowboy . 
he cheats our cowboy out of $20 through a somewhat detailed routine and disappears . 
soon , our cowboy runs out of money : he gets kicked out of his hotel , and starts getting hungry . 
walking through the city , with "" everybody's talkin' "" playing in the background ( oh , and his prided techno transistor radio in hand ) , he spots rico in a cafe . 
rico , half-scared , pours out all the money in his pocket . 
60 filthy cents . 
our cowboy , hungry , is forgiving . 
he is glad he found someone he knows . 
rico offers to make it up for him . 
and he invites him to his place . 
and what a filthy , cold place it is . 
our cowboy falls asleep instantly in the ( junk ) bed . 
when he finally wakes ( jumps ? ) 
up , he finds rico looking at him . 
 "" you wanna cup'a'coffee ? "" 
rico asks in his friendly , sleazy , somewhat-childish manner while he smokes on a ciggy . 
 "" what're you ? 
a goddamn faggot ? 
what do you want from me ? 
where are my shoes ? 
what did you do to them ? "" 
but all his doubts turn out to be unfounded . 
rico really has a heart . 
together , they live in the junk apartment and almost freeze to death . 
rico is convinced that the best place to be is florida , where the sun shines beautifully and there are lots of coconut trees . 
but he falls sick and is convinced that his cure is to go to florida . 
 "" we will soon be in miami "" is the last sentence uttered in this film and what a shocking , moving end of a film it is . 
the classic theme music : "" midnight cowboy "" helps bring about the feeling of attachment that most viewers will experience towards the end of the film . 
whether the attachment is to the two main characters or to their dreams , is probably as debatable as whether it was the acting or the direction that makes this film so memorable . 
"
"1","playwright tom stoppard and screenwriter marc norman took on an astonishingly difficult task : they wanted to write a script about william shakespeare that parallels shakespeare's works . 
they also wanted to poke fun at the way all of us envision shakespeare : i mean , really , who doesn't think of shakespeare as a guy seething with so much passion that he can barely write a play without exploding into a passionate , introspective verbal couplet of iambic pentameter ? 
stoppard and norman are men who love shakespeare , and they wanted to make a movie for everyone else who loves shakespeare . 
and , despite the difficulty of their task , they have succeeded . 
shakespeare in love is one of the smartest , funniest , most touching films of the year . 
it's so rare that a picture with such high aspirations succeeds in all of its endeavors , but here we have a movie that defines success : it is at once charmingly acted and flawlessly written . 
it could have been a smug , self-important movie that panders to die-hard shakespeare fans , but the appeal of this film is almost universal : if you've ever read a play by shakespeare , or know anything about his life , it's likely that you'll find grand entertainment in shakespeare in love . 
joseph fiennes , brother of ralph , stars as shakespeare himself ; he's a delightful , irresistible lad , concerned mostly with women and detached from life's more serious problems ( debt , plague , etc . ) . 
he's commissioned to write plays for various people : queen elizabeth ( judi dench ) wants comedies , while local slimeball philip henslowe ( geoffrey rush ) needs him to write a play so that he can pay off his debts to hugh fennymann ( tom wilkinson ) . 
shakespeare , however , has trouble focusing on his work . 
he begins work on a comedy about a boy named romeo and a girl named ethel . 
this all changes , however , when he meets viola de lesseps ( a radiant gwyneth paltrow ) , a young heiress set to marry the financially-oriented lord wessex ( colin firth ) . 
shakespeare instantly falls in love with her ; he first meets her when she pretends to be a man to try out for the part of romeo . 
he discovers her identity and confronts her later ; she , of course , falls in love with him , although their love is doomed because she absolutely must marry the tyrannical lord wessex . 
but she continues to act because she loves shakespeare's writing so much , and soon the production ( which later becomes romeo and juliet ) is set to be performed . 
shakespeare in love is an amazingly good film , not because it works as great entertainment , but because it pays attention to detail and knows its subject matter . 
i was instantly won over by joseph fiennes in the lead role : he has such searing optimism and energy ; he's clearly a man who admires shakespeare , and even in the shortcomings that he gives his character ( inability to turn away from women , attention deficit disorder ) , we sense a great deal of affection and care . 
he practically overflows with passion in every scene . 
fiennes is matched by paltrow ( whose english accent is so good that wonder where she actually comes from ) ; she is an actress who exudes strength and conviction in every performance i've seen her in . 
the two performers work perfectly together , taking the passionate scenes as far as possible without making them melodramatic , and wringing the comedic scenes for every conceivable laugh . 
of course , it doesn't hurt that they have a masterful script to work with . 
stoppard , whose play rozencrantz and guildenstern are dead inspired an interesting film , is full of dry wit and boundless understated humor ( all of his plays have similarly dry humor ) . 
the first intelligent step stoppard and norman took was harmonizing the events of the film with romeo and juliet . 
one of the funniest scenes in the film is an imitation of the famous terrace scene from the play ; in the movie , shakespeare is bumbling about while viola is trying to fend off her nurse maid . 
director john madden does a fantastic job dabbling in slapstick humor -- scenes like these would have seemed obtuse in the hands of a lesser director . 
i'm going to have to see the movie again ; i'm certain there are numerous references that i missed . 
in fact , i doubt it's possible to gather everything with just one viewing . 
stoppard is a master of detail : you'll notice familiar lines placed throughout the film , not as lines of a play , but as dialogue , suggesting that shakespeare simply spoke like that all the time . 
there's also a brilliant running joke in which shakespeare is in constant competition with christopher marlowe ( and the fact that marlowe is played by the openly-homosexual rupert everett is a joke in of itself ) , proposing a slightly twisted explanation to marlowe's mysterious death in a pub . 
there's also a scene featuring a wide-eyed dog that is so funny that i hurt myself laughing . 
 "" there's no dog in this play ? "" 
 "" no ! 
no dog ! "" 
the ensemble cast is perhaps the strongest this year . 
geoffrey rush is nearly unrecognizable as the detestable henslowe ; wilkinson is also hard to recognize , but has a great role as a thug who takes his part as the apothecary so seriously . 
ben affleck , playing one of the actors in the company , shows great range , both in his accent ( his is almost as good as paltrow's ) and in humor ( he has some of the best one-liners in the movie ) . 
colin firth , always stuck playing the sap , does a good job being hateful . 
judi dench , however , has the best supporting performance as queen elizabeth : rarely has so much depth been conveyed in so few words . 
my single , minor complaint about shakespeare in love is that i feel like i could have been more moved by the end . 
the story is moving , but there are a few missed opportunities in the final scenes . 
but my quibbling is not important . 
what is important is that i acknowledge the quality of this picture , the sheer skill with which it has been written , acted , and produced . 
shakespeare in love tries so many things , and nails every one of them : it's a film that both loves shakespeare and makes fun of him , a film in which the actors , writers , and director are all perfectly in sync . 
it's also a movie that has the potential to introduce a lot of people to shakespeare's work in a positive way , without seeming condescending or superior . 
i admire this film not only because it passes so pleasantly , but because it has lofty aspirations and succeeds in them . 
not just any film can poke fun at shakespeare and get away with it . 
"
"1","titantic , writer and director james cameron's much anticipated and sometimes ridiculed $200 , 000 , 000 epic , arrives shortly into the theaters so the question naturally arises , whether the film is worth it ? 
as a business proposition , it seems hard to see how it can ever break even , but as a movie it is nothing short of wonderful . 
if you've already neatly categorized it as yet another disaster movie a la volcano or the poseidon adventure , think again . 
the movie is both a great love story told with the disaster as a backdrop and a portrayal of one of the world's most memorable disasters made real and personal by seeing it through the eyes of two young lovers . 
in either case , it is filmmaking at its best . 
when we entered the press screening , my wife asked the publicity rep if there would be an intermission since the film runs three and a quarter hours long . 
he said no but that the time would go by so fast she'd never notice the length . 
amazingly , he was right . 
titanic is one of the few long films that doesn't suffer because of it . 
the lush picture , filmed by russell carpenter in 70mm , opens in the present with two diving subs exploring the wreck of the titanic on the bottom of the ocean . 
fortune hunter brock lovett ( bill paxton ) leads the expedition looking for the world's most valuable diamond necklace that went down with the ship , known back then as "" the ship of dreams . "" 
the necklace's hundred-year-old former owner , rose dewitt bukater ( gloria stuart ) , finds brock to tell him her story . 
although almost all of the movie happens in flashback , one of the engineers shows the elderly rose exactly how the ship was sunk . 
using a computer simulation , the movie takes the time to explain what will happen later , which adds immensely to making a lucid story out of what would have otherwise been hopelessly confusing . 
after twenty minutes , the story makes its jump to the past as the titanic leaves on her maiden voyage . 
in a classic movie theme , the two parts of the ship , first class and steerage ( third-class ) exist in sharp contrast . 
the strength of the script is the way it paints the differences between rich and poor without excessive moralizing . 
entering the ship on its day out is rose along with her millionaire fiance , cal hockley , played with perfect snobbishness by billy zane . 
and thanks to a last minute winning poker hand , an itinerant artist named jack dawson gets himself into a little shared cabin in third class . 
even with her own promenade deck , rose feels trapped on the ship , what with an upcoming marriage to a man she loathes . 
in contrast , jack can barely contain his euphoria at being on board . 
after jack saves rose from committing suicide , they start a brief but impassioned love affair . 
never tawdry and rarely explicit , their romance has the power to sweep the audience into the story . 
leonardo dicaprio in his best performance ever plays jack with confidence and charisma . 
in so many ways , small and large , he makes all the right decisions in his approach to the part . 
when he confronts cal , for example , he remains composed and polite and yet subtly undermines every one of cal's supercilious put-downs . 
kate winslet gives a wonderfully captivating performance as young rose . 
the chemistry between these two academy award nominees , him for what's eating gilbert grape and her for sense and sensibility , is nothing short of astonishing . 
from the scene where he embarrasses her by repeatedly asking if she loves her finace to the beautiful one of them hanging off the ship's bow to the one where she embarrasses him by asking him to paint her nude , they dazzle the screen with a pair of mesmerizing performances . 
if the film breaks after an hour and a half , which is how long cameron wisely waits to have the iceberg show up , you will still get one of the best films of the year . 
peter lamont's sets are more than authentic . 
one scene , for example , starts with the planning-to-retire captain , played with insouciance by bernard hill , having his tea on deck . 
it then shifts to the ship's massive gears and then to the bright-hot boiler room filled with sweating muscular men shoveling in the coals . 
the handsome interior common rooms of the ship resemble a palace more than an ocean liner . 
easily the most fascinating part of the story is what happens after the iceberg hits and before the battle with the water begins in earnest . 
at first , since the iceberg tears a series of little gashes in the hull , not some big gaping hole , the passengers view the hit as more of curiosity than anything else . 
what a lark . 
we've struck an iceberg . 
now let's get back to our brandy and cigars . 
the ship's musicians play like troopers through it all , even after the panic sets in . 
after all , they see it as their duty to calm the passengers . 
when the musicians are about to die , they politely thank each other for the pleasure of being able to play together , and they mean it . 
their civility borders on insanity , but it is touching nevertheless . 
the story is so rich that my description has merely touched the surface . 
there are more than enough characters to love and to hate , and all of the casting is dead-on . 
special effects work best when their presence becomes almost undetectable . 
in titanic , for which he created a nine-tenths scale model of the entire ship , cameron strove for accuracy at all costs . 
the most dramatic moment in the film happens when the ship breaks in two , and the front section becomes vertical in the water . 
people are flung like ants either into the water to be shortly frozen to death or into other parts of the ship to be crushed immediately . 
besides being romantic and dramatic , the script includes liberal doses of humor . 
from the many deliciously subtle verbal put-downs to the physical comedy , as when jack teaches rose to spit like a man , the show elicits laughter in addition to perhaps a few tears . 
 "" it's good-bye for a little while , "" a less than confident father tells his little girl since it was indeed women and children first . 
 "" this boat's for mommies and children . 
there'll be a boat in a little while for daddies . "" 
basically there was a design decision to have fewer than half of the necessary life boats -- it made the decks look too crowded otherwise . 
perhaps the sinking is best summarized by one of the guggenheim's on-board the ship . 
in the dining room with the lifeboats gone and the ship certain to sink , he is offered a life jacket by one of the crew . 
 "" no thanks , "" the elegantly attired guggenheim replies . 
 "" we're dressed in our best and would prefer to go down like gentlemen . 
but we would like a brandy . "" 
titanic runs 3 : 14 . 
it is rated pg-13 for tastefully and delicately presented sex and nudity and would be fine for kids twelve and up . 
"
"1","the sweet hereafter could serve as a textbook example of the difference between television movies and "" real "" movies . 
consider for a moment what a television producer would do with a book that features a fatal school bus accident and a lawyer out to sign up the bereaved -- lots of hot sensationalism interrupted with breaks to sell beer and toothpaste . 
top-flight writer and director atom egoyan delivers instead a film with tremendous power whose most notable trait is its touching subtlety . 
based on a respected book of the same name by author russell banks , the movie represents a rethinking of the story's structure , not merely a literal adaptation of the novel . 
told in linear form by four narrators in the book , egoyan's version happens instead in overlapping time sequences and without a narrator . 
the author is even on record as applauding egoyan's changes . 
in the press notes the book's author describes the story as "" a parable of lost children . "" 
he says it asks what a town does in the absence of its children . 
picking up on this , egoyan has a flashback in which a sitter , nicole burnell , played with grace by sarah polley , reads parts of "" the pied piper "" from an old , illustrated book to her two charges . 
periodically throughout the picture , nicole's readings are heard in voice-over . 
you have never heard this moving poem read so sweetly or in such an appropriate moment . 
they and the rest of the town's children come into harm's way -- some live and others are seriously injured . 
and the entire small canadian town where the accident occurs is never the same again . 
although the physical damage is inflicted mainly on the children , the adults bear the emotional scars of the loss . 
ian holm , in arguably the best performance of his distinguished career , plays mitchell stephens , an intense man of quiet misery . 
mitchell is the outsider in the story set in a small , snow-encrusted community in the british columbian wilderness . 
his mission there is a singular one , to sign up the parents so that he can sue someone , anyone , on their behalf . 
if this seems crass , well it is , but mitchell approaches his job with the dedication of a religious zealot . 
the story unfolds slowly and always believably . 
each little aspect has its own fascination . 
as mitchell interviews wendell and rita walker , played with quiet realism by maury chaykin and alberta watson , he has a simple task . 
he wants them to suggest some model couple in the village who has a lost a child so that he can use that couple to form the basis of the suit . 
wendell ticks off one town member after another and then , as one can in a small town , enumerates each person's numerous faults . 
although the town is no peyton place , people there do have their foibles . 
one of the best parents in the town appears to be billy ansell ( bruce greenwood ) , who rides his pickup behind the school bus everyday just so he can wave good-bye to his kids . 
well , single parent billy's fault is that he has regularly scheduled trysts with the married rita . 
his confessions to rita about his feelings of loss are one of the many heartfelt outpourings in the story . 
the accident itself , a simple one of a bus hitting a patch of ice , isn't shown until the middle of the picture , but , nevertheless , the mystery about it builds throughout the film . 
although the picture is no detective story , finding out exactly what happened is a subtheme in a movie that is primarily a character study of a town gripped by tragedy . 
as the injured bus driver , gabrielle rose , dolores driscoll plays the role of a dedicated individual who loves kids with a passion and for whom the tragedy takes on special meaning . 
to round out the story , mitchell has his own private tragedy to bear . 
his daughter zoe ( caerthan banks ) is a drug addict who has bounced in and out of one half-way house and recovery center after another . 
fond of calling her dad on his cell phone so she can ask for money or help , she interrupts him at many emotionally charged moments as he attempts to sign up the townsfolk . 
 ( "" i can help you , "" mitchell tries to reassure billy . 
 "" not unless you can raise the dead , "" billy snaps back . 
mitchell's pitch is never an easy one and worrying about zoe only makes it harder . ) 
mychael danna's haunting music sets the stage for tragedy . 
the cinematography by paul sarossy is sweeping in its outdoor grandeur , but it is in the warm , shadowy , intimate moments indoors where it works best . 
the show , which is ripe for emotional manipulation , never plays with its audience . 
still , when the house lights go up , you may feel as i did . 
i could barely breathe ; i was so overcome by the sum total of what i had witnessed . 
more than anything , the film is like a master painting . 
each cinematic brush stroke is carefully laid down by egoyan with the beauty building with each dollop of paint . 
with the final color in place , the masterpiece is complete , and the ending credits roll . 
the sweet hereafter runs 1 : 50 . 
it is rated r for mature themes , sexuality and some profanity and would be fine teenagers . 
"
"1"," ( warning to those who have not seen seven : this review contains some spoiler information . ) 
seven is a powerful , fully-realized film on the level of the silence of the lambs . 
it is a disturbing film that accomplishes its biggest of goals--it occupies the viewers mind long after the closing credits have rolled . 
while this film is not for the squeamish , there is no denying that seven demands attention , for it is a film that transcends its genre in both style and substance . 
for starters , classifying seven as a "" thriller "" would not be an altogether complete classification of this film . 
while i was genuinely thrilled throughout , i would rather call seven an "" intense drama , "" because that is what it delivers--meaningful scenes with a relentlessness that does not readily let up . 
part of director david finchers accomplishment is in style . 
he seems to have a knack for knowing exactly how the average person fears something as "" simple "" as a corpse . 
and visually , fincher shows us the remains of murder victims in all-too-realistic and graphic terms ( courtesy of rob bottin's always-grisly special effects ) . 
throw in the appropriate but not-to-be-underestimated effects of lighting and a foreboding score and the result is a technical masterpiece of the murder scene . 
these scenes alone are quite impressive ; as fascinating as they are harrowing . 
yet , seven is more than just a technical accomplishment . 
in addition to style , fincher supplies substance . 
seven has compelling characters that it wants us to know and understand , and fincher ties them all together in a completely pessimistic view of society . 
detective william somerset ( morgan freeman ) is a man who has nearly given up on the world . 
its easy to see why . 
the world doesn't make sense . 
 ( somerset drives this point home with a rather ghastly story of a robbery victim who was attacked just blocks from the police precinct . 
after knocked down and robbed of his wallet , the attacker stabbed the helpless man in both eyes . ) 
why should somerset believe that by following this murder investigation and "" picking up the pieces "" he will be able to catch the killer ? 
somersets new partner , david mills ( brad pitt ) has not given up on the world , perhaps because he is still young ( and perhaps by having this optimism he's naive in this films portrayal of the world ) . 
he completely disagrees with somersets abandonment of hope . 
however , david's wife ( gwyneth paltrow ) has so much fear of her urban surroundings , she isn't even sure if she wants to * tell * her husband about her recent pregnancy , let alone carry it until birth and attempt to raise it in this environment . 
these three characters are all performed with skill and authenticity that makes them feel like real people and not the typical hollywood characters a lesser film might have offered . 
and in addition to making clear how each of these characters sees the world , fincher gives us support for * why * they feel the way they do . 
but if there's one character that underlines the message seven is trying to convey , it has to be the killer , john doe ( kevin spacey ) . 
seven's payoff lies in its ability to allow us to see how the killer views the world and what drives him to do what he does . 
one important thing to remember about doe is how easy it is to simply dismiss him as a "" psycho , "" with no motives behind his slayings . 
this is exactly the mistake mills makes . 
in the extremely intense and superbly performed closing scenes , were allowed to see that doe is , in his mind , merely a product of society . 
he's a killer who kills those who are bringing society down . 
in his mind he didn't kill "" innocent "" people , and , perhaps , they were not completely innocent ( but , then again , who is ? ) . 
hes absolutely infuriated that mills believes that the murder victims were innocent . 
really , seven doesn't just comment on the superficial obviousness of how screwed-up john doe is . 
seven makes larger statements about how screwed-up society is , hinting that society's degradation is simply conducive of creating more john does . 
besides the stylistic and larger-issue arguments for seeing this film , i recommend seven because it is , after all , also a very slick and well-made thriller . 
it features exciting plot developments , commanding performances , lots of suspense , and a conclusion that is chilling , riveting , and quite unfair . 
but then again , its a cruel world . 
"
"1","modern audiences are more likely to be familiar with les misirables from the pop-broadway musical rather than victor hugo's original tome . 
adapted several times for the cinema , this latest effort does a superb job of translating the characters , story , and heart of the novel to the screen . 
liam neeson stars as jean valjean . 
as a young man , valjean stole some bread to satisfy his hunger . . . and he was sentenced to 19 years of hard labor for his crimes . 
prison hardened him , and on his release he seems doomed to a life of crime and squalor . 
however , an unexpected act of compassion changes his outlook on life , and he vows to become a better man . 
however , he runs up against one man who doesn't believe in reform . 
inspector javert ( geoffrey rush ) is an obsessive law abider . 
he has no tolerance for anyone who breaks the rules , even with benign intentions . 
he once served as a guard at the labor camp where valjean served , and after valjean breaks his parole , javert devotes himself to bringing him to justice . 
two women also get caught up in the struggle . 
fantine ( uma thurman ) is an unwed mother suffocating in an unforgiving society . 
her daughter , cosette ( mimi newman , and later , claire danes ) , is her life , yet she cannot afford to raise her . 
instead , cosette is sent to live with a cruel foster family which extorts money from fantine , and forces cosette into a life little better than a slave . 
director bille august manages to create a faithful adaptation of victor hugo's novel , which , though omitting some of the political undertones , remains true to the overall story and tone of the book . 
hopefully you won't , as some clueless members of the audience did , wonder where all the songs went . 
the movie manages to be completely engrossing without the andrew lloyd webber flourishes . 
the experience is bolstered by strong performances throughout , though neeson and rush deservedly take center stage with their core roles . 
neeson in particular deserves kudos for his portrayal of a man trying to do good , but continually haunted by his past . 
the supporting cast is also extraordinary . 
the only actor who dims in comparison is hans matheson , playing the revolutionary , marius . 
the film slightly loses its luster during his brief love affair , but it is transitory , and truly only distracting when contrasted with the rest of the film . 
the novel les misirables is , by any account , an epic , both in its scope and in its length . 
while it would be nearly impossible to cram everything from its pages into a two hour movie , this latest attempt does an admirable job at the translation . 
it , too , is an epic . . . and one worth seeing . 
"
"1","i was born in 1970 , which makes me barely old enough to remember bell buttons , 8 tracks and disco . 
however , since i was 17 years old i've seen more than my share of adult films . 
i mention this only because i thinks its important to state up front that i'm not against pornogrpahy . 
i've seen enough of these films to know the range of content and quality available . 
director paul thomas anderson's boogie nights offers us a view into the world of porn during the period considered to be the golden age of adult cinema , the mid to late 70s . 
this was the period when x-rated movies were real movies , shot on film , shown in movie theaters and even reviewed by legitimate critics . 
this was an age when porn directors actually aspired to make innovative often educational films , films that attempted to tell a real story . 
one of the more fascinating aspects of this film is how , like in an any other billion dollar industry , the creative visionaries tend to be ignorant to the trends that will soon make them obsolete . 
in this case , the arrival of the now ubiquitous videocassette . 
burt reynold's manages to resuscitate his career portraying such an auteur , known as jack horner . 
horner's has a steady "" family "" of performers , some of whom live in his plush l . a . home . 
but in the world of porn , performers are a commodity - the fresher , the better . 
when horner scouts a fresh faced stud bussing tables at his favorite discotheque , he decides to add him to his stable . 
it is a pairing that leads to a meteoric rise and fall for a young man reaching his prime and an old man rapidly speeding past his . 
as directed by anderson , the camera moves through many of the scenes with an eerie omnipresence and an almost childlike curiosity to peer beyond the closed door . 
boogie nights provides a voyeuristic peep into the underbelly of l . a . 's hardcore film scene . 
but the peep show doesnut let us walk away when the titillation ends . 
the downside of voyeurism is sometimes we end up seeing things we wish we hadnut . 
by the film's final image , what we we once found titillating has now become a grim reminder of the vanity of fame and the high price of realizing your dreams . 
boogie nights is not about sex . 
it does not glorify porn or the lifestyles of the performers . 
in fact , the film isn't really about pornography at all . 
pornography is merely the setting to tell a compelling story about a lost and forgotten group of people who form their own sub-culture to find acceptance of who they are . 
the film goes to brilliant , often hilarious and sometimes harrowing lengths to show us that the people who choose to produce or perform in these films are generally not all that bright and lack the basic tools to function in the mainstream world . 
yet , like in the lauded tarantino films , these people still have their own moral code , their own concepts of integrity and their own needs to experess themselves creatively . 
the characters we meet are like a road map of dysfuntion . 
first stop , the den mother ( julianne moore ) in denial about her addiction to cocaine as she tries to retain custody of her son . 
second stop , the cuckold crewman ( william h . macy ) who keeps discovering his wife having sex with anyone and everyone ( the wife is played in hilarious cameos by real-life porn star nina hartley ) . 
but the driving force behind the plot is 17 year old eddie adams . 
eddie is blessed with a natural endowment so famous that people actually pay just to see it . 
with no real ambition of his own , he hooks up with jack horner to fullfill his destiny of fame . 
his alcoholic mother , clearly dissatisfied with her own lot , abuses him verbally and drives him out of the house . 
horner introduces him to amber waves ( moore ) who immediately adopts him , a nuclear family is born . 
the surrogate relationship that develops between amber waves and her "" babies "" provides some of the films most poignant scenes . 
clearly , she is not even fit to manage her own life , let alone nurture these lost children . 
but the need to love and be loved is so strong , they easily ignore the dangers of the less subtle addiction she introduces them to . 
even the viewer is somehow lulled into feeling like the love she offers is similar to being in a real family . 
then again , perhaps its not so different from real families at all . 
eddie adams , who later takes on the screen name "" dirk diggler "" , is skillfully acted by former pop-star , mark wahlberg . 
i say "" former "" pop star because with this performance wahlberg can officially quit his day job . 
this is bold and brave territory for such a young man . 
he pulls it off marvelously . 
wahlberg is a "" big , bright star "" with a big bright future . 
boogie nights plays very much in the spirit of the people versus larry flynt , without the first amendment preachiness . 
its intimate studies of character make it the superior film . 
wahlberg's surprising performance is on par with woody harrelson's . 
but in my opinion , boogie nights , is not the best film of the year . 
i got the feeling that itus 2 1/2 hour running time could have been cut by 15 or 20 minutes without losing any of its resonance . 
still , if the subject matter of this film intimidates you , thereus no doubt that once you start watching boogie nights you may still feel like its not your thing , but youull find yourself grooving to it anyway . . . ya 
know , kinda like disco . 
"
"1","i remember making a pact , right after `patch adams' , to not be easily be suckered by movies dripping with sentimentality . 
but darn it , `music of the heart' is just layered with feel-good material and bright characterizations . 
it's hard to dislike a movie that uses such skill with it's manipulation . 
in addition , it's also a terrific family film . 
this is the true story of violin teacher roberta guaspari , who fought the school board to keep the musical program active in a handful of inner city harlem schools . 
it could also be described as `mrs . 
streep's opus' . 
yes , meryl streep brings her dramatic clout to the demanding role of guaspari , and that brings both good news and bad . 
out of the gate , possibly because of her distracting star power and the rushed writing , it is relatively difficult to identify with roberta's character and grasp her academic point-of-view . 
she is very strict with her students , but what insight does that create into the story ? 
slowly but surely , we begin to recognize the intentions of the character , and show admiration for the thoughtfulness and human feeling that streep has once again applied . 
one thoroughly interesting fact about `music of the heart' lies with the unlikely presence in the director's chair : horror veteran wes craven . 
after leaving an impression with the `scream' films and the original `nightmare on elm street' , craven has attempted a precarious cross-over to drama . 
at first , his inexperience with the genre is fairly obvious , but as the film progresses craven finds a surprisingly comfortable niche with directing this material . 
it doesn't carry the heart-warming courage of `mr . 
holland's opus' , but `music of the heart' is casually assured and filled with little morsels of dramatic truth . 
the tag team of streep and craven works better than you would anticipate . 
yes , oscar could come calling once again for meryl streep , but it's the solid ensemble cast that makes `music of the heart' work . 
angela bassett displays her usual forceful stamina as janet williams , the principal at an inner city school who initially doesn't hire roberta because of her lack of experience . 
blue-eyed adian quinn is endearing , as always , playing a new love interest . 
gloria estefan also delivers in the tiny role of a supportive second-grade teacher , and the three lead actresses together produce a flaming fireball of estrogenic force . 
it's like a schoolteacher's version of `thelma and louise' , in a restrained but effective manner . 
the movie tackles more issues than just guaspari's teaching of violin . 
there's some powerful moments between roberta and her two sons , who must cope when their father leaves them for another woman . 
in it's dramatic build-up , the movie manages to produce some authentic moments of feeling and warmth . 
it's a good movie for anyone to see , although missing out on the experience would not be a life-altering decision . 
it's commendable of wes craven to be attempting such a difficult cross-over , and also for achieving his intricate goal . 
watching this heartfelt chick flick about morals and musical instruments , who may ask yourself : this is the guy who directed `scream' ? 
of course , when the third installment of that series comes around in february 2000 ( with craven directing ) , you may find yourself wondering : this is the guy who directed `music of the heart' ? 
mission accomplished , wes . 
thankfully , there is no layer of artificial sentiment covering the film . 
in it's entirety , it's a wholesome and agreeable movie for the whole family , despite the periodic flaws that surface every once in awhile . 
the child actors are cute and perform up to par , even if some of their problems are clich ? d and predictable in the extreme . 
the mother who doesn't want her son to be learning `white man's music' , the unexpected casuality . . . 
basically everything is there . 
it doesn't strike the perfect chord , but `music of the heart' is highly convincing . 
the uplifting true story of roberta guaspari could have been told better , but `music of the heart' is still edifying enough to properly divulge her morals . 
"
"1","vannesa kensington : `austin , do you smoke after sex ? ' austin powers : `i don't know baby , i've never looked ! ' 
and so begins our journey into the most anticipated sequel of the summer season . 
austin powers 2 , the sequel to the sleeper hit of 1997 , is filled to the brim with uproarious sight gags and lurid toilet jokes that will make you keel over with hilarity . 
the mind of mike myers is obviously a very bizarre place . 
myers returns as the swinging 60's spy and his arch-nemesis , the bald headed dr . evil , who is given much of the spotlight here . 
there's an early scene in which dr . evil and his son scott ( seth green ) appear on a jerry springer segment entitled `my dad is evil and wants to take over the world' , hosted by springer himself . 
most of these talk-show gags , spoofing everything from oprah to regis and kathie lee , are no longer as funny as they once were . 
happily , this is an exception , especially when a fight breaks out between dr . evil and the other guests . 
 ( sample dialogue- `come back here you mother #@%$^ ! ! 
you want a piece of me ? ' ) 
the audience was in stitches . 
there are many good things about this sequel . 
dr . evil is now assisted by mini-me ( verne troyer ) , a pint-sized clone who is the result of an experiment gone awry . 
mini-me is the most perfect new character that any fan could ask for , and troyer does a terrific job of mimicking everything that his big brother does , pinkie and all . 
mindy sterling returns as frau farbissina , evil's loud-mouth assassin sidekick , and here we are treated to a brief romantic liaison between the two in an underground bedroom chamber . 
this works surprisingly well . 
afterward , there's even a meeting at the coffee machine , where their awkwardness is expressed in a scene you would expect in any normal office environment . 
oh , yes . . . 
the plot . 
after a short honeymoon with vanessa kensington ( elizabeth hurley ) that goes disastrously wrong , powers is back on the case to thwart the diabolical plans of dr . evil . 
in the original , the subject of the day was cryogenic freezing that enabled the characters to hop between two time periods . 
here , it's time travel . 
dr . evil has this crazy plan to steal austin's mojo ( the source of his sexual powers ) , so he jumps through a time portal back into 1969 when powers is still is his freezing chamber . 
there , he employs a grotesque 600-pound scottish assassin named fat bastard ( also myers ) to commandeer the mojo , so that our future hero is left completely shagless . 
meanwhile , austin is informed of evil's wrong-doing by basil exposition ( michael york ) , and is supplied with his very own time-traveling device in the form of a volkswagen beetle . 
once back in 1969 , powers meets a foxy cia operative named felicity shagwell ( heather graham ) , and learns of dr . evil's plans to destroy washington dc with a lazer on the moon . 
in one of the many uproarious jabs at star wars , evil calls the moon base a `death star' . 
if there ever was a movie that knew from the start it was a complete joke , it's austin powers : the spy who shagged me . 
ap2 has many hilarious moments , much more so , than the original austin powers . 
but what it doesn't have is the confident support system that the first boasted , and the jokes are now more scattershot and hit-and-miss . 
while myers has a knack for delivering clever , inspired gags , he sometimes doesn't know when to call it quits . 
the hilarious scene in the original involving mustafa ( will ferrell ) and his refusal to die is played out here in a disappointing and tired manner . 
robert wagner , as dr . evil's #2 man , has only one scene early on in the film , where he lacks all the focus of the character . 
one nice surprise is rob lowe , as the young #2 , who patterns wagner's voice and movements right down to a tee . 
there are more recycled jokes from the predecessor , including kristen johnston as ivana humpalot ( an unfunny rendition of alotta fagina ) . 
but myers has clearly put so much dedication into this project , and many bits are side-splittingly funny . 
don't miss an extended visual gag in a tent , where the shadows leave much to the imagination . . . . 
of the new characters , graham doesn't leave much of an impression . 
her performance is merely okay , and she lacks the gung-ho enthusiasm that made elizabeth hurley so enjoyable before her . 
and as for fat bastard . . . 
well , he provides one or two hilarious moments , but all of the obesity jokes and bathroom talk go too far . 
but my most severe complaint : mr . bigglesworth was only in one scene ! ! 
but , with gritted teeth , i managed to get over that . 
this sequel will not leave fans disappointed ; it's more often than not a laugh riot . 
and , i look optimistically to the future , where i foresee more installments to the austin powers collection . 
if myers can up the quota of fresh ideas , we should be in store for much more . 
 ( c ) 1999 , jamey hughton . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
jamey hughton ( 15 ) has written a weekly column in the starphoenix , saskatoon , sk since november , 1997 . 
he was a 1999 writing finalist in the canadian ytv achievement awards . 
"
"1","the premise of the new teen-targeted horror film `final destination' causes a recollection of a memorable `simpsons' halloween episode . 
after attempting to repair a malfunctioning toaster , lovably ignorant patriarch homer realizes he has created a portable time-machine . 
after a trek into the cretaceous period , homer observes that any minor alteration made there will erupt into a starling chain of events and seriously modify the present world . 
again and again , homer toys with the master plan and pays dearly for it . 
the characters of `final destination' have also tampered with the blueprint schematics of their existence - their `design' . 
someone is after them with the strict intent of correcting the mistake . 
that someone is death . 
you see , alex browning ( devon sawa ) and six others have cheated the grim reaper . . . . 
but the dude has got some tricks up his sleeve . 
for a high school excursion , alex's french class is traveling to paris by airline transport . 
alex , tense and neurotic , has a shocking premonition after boarding : he sees the plane , and every passenger on it , spontaneously explode in mid-air . 
in a panic of sheer lunacy , alex charges his way through the aisle and demands removal from the aircraft . 
after a handful of others ( including one teacher ) follow and are denied admittance back onto the plane , the unwitting ? survivors' watch in horror as the plane actually explodes in the drizzling night sky . 
the loony vision alex experiences does actually materialize . 
but death won't be cheated so easily , and one by one , the survivors of flight 180 are offed in mysteriously gruesome circumstances . 
the grisly murder count baffles the local officials and fbi . 
before i delve into the meat of the review , i'd just like to confer . . . . 
is that one helluva premise , or what ? 
`final destination' , creepy beyond rational comprehension , probably reads more like an unsettling `x-files' episode than `the simpsons' - therefore , the surprise is minimal when you discover the mutual creators behind both are glen morgan and james wong . 
on familiar turf , the task of establishing footing is not difficult for morgan and wong , and the opening 20 minutes of `final destination' reflects that . 
unlike most thrillers , the set-up is crisp and cool . 
you just deeply , sincerely hope that the momentum won't unspool , leaving us with a second-string effort with nothing but cheap , derivative shocks . 
young viewers have a palpable reason to expect this kind of formula deterioration , what with `i know what you did last summer' and sequel , `idle hands' and -- a movie with a nifty premise that just plunged like an anvil -- `urban legend' . 
after the set-up , when i remained slouched apprehensively in my chair , i started to really have fun with `final destination' . 
low and behold , a teen thriller that is actually unsettling , actually suspenseful and -- yes -- actually intelligent . 
some splotty logic and a heap of characteristic genre flaws aside , this film is among the most refreshing and all-out enjoyable horror movies to submerge since the cutting-edge `scream' in 1996 . 
`final destination' stimulates the nerves and offers a exhilarating retaliation strike against all the blood-spattered slasher crap we've endured throughout the past few years . 
not that the characters are that good . 
sawa is game as alex , a connect-the-dots personality that we never fully comprehend . 
in addition , the survivors are endearing geek tod ( chad e . donella ) , jocky control-freak carter ( kerr smith of `dawson's creek' ) , carter's ditzy girlfriend terry ( amanda detmer ) , the none-too-subtly named billy hitchcock ( seann william scott , supplier of lukewarm comic relief ) and a lone teacher - the emotionally delicate ms . lewton ( kristin cloke ) . 
aside from alex , the primary center of interest is intended to be ali larter ( `varsity blues' ) , playing an abstract character named clear rivers ( what were her parents thinking ? ! ? ) . 
the personality of clear is written with such a vague , nebulous definition that she resembles a walking flash-card saying `hello , i am the offbeat character designed to identify with the main character's plight ! ' 
toss a few stereotypical fbi agents ( daniel roebuck and roger guenveur smith ) and a . . . . ummm . . . 
`spiritual' mortician ( former `candyman' tony todd ) into the mix , and you have what could be another generic teenage frightfest with slicing , dicing and assorted disembowelments . 
not so . 
`final destination' has no slicing and dicing , or at least none dealt by a human killer , and the thought of death itself as the unseen stalker is unique and frightening . 
the extra dimension of disconcerting irony rejuvenates the decaying ? murderer-on-the-loose' concept , with assistance from a shrewd , intelligently paced screenplay by morgan , wong and jeffrey reddick . 
the plot twists are fun and clever without toppling into utter absurdity ( listen up , `reindeer games' ) . 
but i suppose the most satisfying aspect of `final destination' is the murder scenes . 
creative , resourceful and breathlessly inventive , the death sequences involve an unlikely string of events leading to a character's demise . 
what will trigger the accident ? 
will it be the john denver record , just put on to play `rocky mountain high' ? 
 ( yeah , sick humor ) . 
will it be the leaking toilet ? 
the falling fishing reel in the corner ? 
the murders are startling and largely unforeseen , including one surprise incident that made the audience jump out of their seats and giggle nervously for roughly a minute afterward . 
a sense of giddy unpredictability is added with this inventive approach . 
it gets sorta tasteless and cheap sometimes , but who cares ? 
it's fun . 
in that simple regard , `final destination' is my cup of tea . 
this stylishly executed thriller , although tagged with laughable circumstances and the occasional snippet of lame dialogue , is an immensely entertaining jaunt to the dark side . 
after the show , it will also have an frightening impact on you . 
when will your ? design' expire ? 
is death waiting around the corner ? 
the `final' effect is a major case of the heebie-jeebies . 
"
"1","it is easy to see why the late stanley kubrick believed steven spielberg would be the perfect director for his a . i . 
artificial intelligence , just as it is understandable why spielberg was attracted to the material . 
for here we have another lost boy trying to find his way home , an outcast seeking family , themes very familiar from most of spielberg's body of work from sugarland express to close encounters of the third kind to e . t . 
to empire of the sun to hook to saving private ryan , naming just a few examples . 
a . i . is set in an undefined near future in which giant technological advances have led to the creation of robots who serve every purpose from housekeeping to fulfilling sexual fantasies . 
it is an era when robots are treated merely as sophisticated appliances . 
the last great leap in robotic evolution is the addition of emotions , and with the number of births limited by the government , many couples are yearning for children . 
and professor hobby ( william hurt ) has the solution . 
a robotic boy named david ( haley joel osment ) , who is programmed to love . 
as a test , david is placed with henry swinton ( sam robards ) and his wife , monica ( frances o'connor ) . 
their natural-born son has been cryogenically frozen until a cure can be found for his illness . 
the first third of a . i . 
deals with david's life with the swintons and how that is changed by the recovery and return of their son , martin . 
circumstances force david to be cut off from the swintons . 
he is abandoned and alone . 
david , highly influenced by the fairy tale , pinocchio , feels that if he becomes a real boy he can rekindle monica's love for him . 
the film's second act follows david's search for the blue fairy , whom he believes will be able to fulfill his wish . 
during these adventures he meets and is helped by gigolo joe ( jude law ) , a robot who specializes in sex . 
spielberg is at his top form in this sequence , offering a brutal "" flesh fair "" where robots are destroyed via sadistic methods for the amusement of paying customers . 
here , is where kubrick's influence is strongly felt , as the movie explores the fear and distrust humans have for robots . 
the savagery conjures up images from the late director's a clockwork orange . 
at about two hours and 30 minutes , the film begins to falter during the last 20 minutes , a sequence that seems most spielbergian with images that appear to be borrowed from close encounters . 
it is all very anti-climatic and jarring . 
these scenes seem almost superfluous , as if from a different film . 
a . i . is a dark fairy tale that deserves its pg-13 rating . 
it is a story combining hope and intolerance , sacrifice and bigotry , and while it does not coalesce perfectly , the movie does offer some disturbing images . 
but a . i . 
is really a showcase for the acting talents of the amazing young osment . 
if ever an actor deserved an academy award nomination , it is this lad , who brings a sense of joy and wonder to the role of david , a being created for the express purpose of loving . 
he shines when with monica , beaming with love , as eager as a puppy to please . 
after being left in the woods , he is confused , lost , hurt , focusing on one objective : to become a real boy and find his way home so he can redeem himself in his mother's eyes . 
law is pleasant as the care-free robot who really doesn't understand david's quest , but is nonetheless happy to help him on his journey . 
probably the toughest role is o'connor's monica . 
playing an emotional fragile woman who sees david as a substitute for her lost martin , she grows conflicted after her boy returns and she begins to perceive david not as a second chance , but as a threat to her family . 
she gives her character enough emotional chaos that you cannot fault her for her course of action . 
many of a . i . 's futuristic sets are breathtaking , especially a mostly submerged new york , lost to the world by the melting of the polar ice caps . 
a . i . is a flawed film , and you cannot get through the entire feature without pondering - even subconsciously - how it would have turned out with kubrick instead of spielberg behind the camera . 
would it have been darker ? 
more cynical ? 
we will never know . 
we can only judge what is before us on the screen , a collaboration of two cinematic giants . 
a . i . 
is a most interesting and thought-provoking examination of a future that is quickly gaining on us . 
"
"1","here's a word analogy : amistad is to the lost world as schindler's list is to jurassic park . 
in 1993 , after steven spielberg made the monster dino hit , many critics described schindler's list as the director's "" penance "" ( as if there was a need for him to apologize for making a crowd-pleasing blockbuster ) . 
now , after a three-year layoff , spielberg is back with a vengeance . 
once again , his summer release was special effects-loaded action/adventure flick with dinosaurs munching on human appetizers . 
now , following his 1993 pattern , he has fashioned another serious , inspirational christmas release about the nature of humanity . 
that film is amistad . 
although not as masterful as schindler's list , amistad is nevertheless a gripping motion picture . 
thematically rich , impeccably crafted , and intellectually stimulating , the only area where this movie falls a little short is in its emotional impact . 
watching schindler's list was a powerful , almost spiritual , experience . 
spielberg pulled us into the narrative , absorbed us in the drama , then finally let us go , exhausted and shattered , three-plus hours later . 
aspects of the movie have stayed with me ever since . 
amistad , while a fine example of film making , is not as transcendent . 
the incident of the ship la amistad is not found in any history books , but , considering who writes the texts , that's not a surprise . 
however , the event is a part of the american social and legal fabric , and , while amistad does not adhere rigorously to the actual account , most of the basic facts are in order . 
several , mostly minor changes have been made to enhance the film's dramatic force . 
on the whole , while amistad may not be faithful to all of the details of the situation , it is true to the spirit and meaning of what transpired . 
one stormy night during the summer of 1839 , the 53 men imprisoned on the spanish slave ship la amistad escape . 
led by the lion-hearted cinque ( djimon hounsou ) , they take control of the vessel , killing most of the crew . 
adrift somewhere off the coast of cuba and uncertain how to make their way back to africa , they rely on the two surviving spaniards to navigate the eastward journey . 
they are tricked , however , and the la amistad , which makes its way northward off the united states' eastern coastline , is eventually captured by an american naval ship near connecticut . 
the kidnapped africans are shackled and thrown into prison , charged with murder and piracy . 
the first men to come to the africans' defense are abolitionists theodore joadson ( morgan freeman ) and lewis tappan ( stellan skarsgard ) . 
they are soon joined by roger baldwin ( matthew mcconaughey ) , a property attorney of little repute . 
aided by advice from former president john quincy adams ( anthony hopkins ) , baldwin proves a more persuasive orator than anyone gave him credit for , and his central argument -- that the prisoners were illegally kidnapped free men , not property -- convinces the judge . 
but powerful forces have aligned against baldwin's cause . 
current president martin van buren ( nigel hawthorne ) , eager to please southern voters and 11-year old queen isabella of spain ( anna paquin ) , begins pulling strings behind-the-scenes to ensure that none of the africans goes free . 
at its heart , amistad is a tale of human courage . 
cinque is a heroic figure whose spirit remains unbreakable regardless of the pain and indignity he is subjected to . 
he is a free man , not a slave , and , while he recognizes that he may die as a result of his struggle , he will not give it up . 
effectively portrayed by newcomer djimon hounsou , whose passion and screen presence arrest our attention , cinque is the key to viewers seeing the amistad africans as more than symbols in a battle of ideologies . 
they are individuals , and our ability to make that distinction is crucial to the movie's success . 
to amplify this point , spielberg presents many scenes from the africans' point-of-view , detailing their occasionally-humorous observations about some of the white man's seemingly-strange "" rituals "" . 
the larger struggle is , of course , one of defining humanity . 
as the nazis felt justified in slaughtering jews because they viewed their victims as "" sub-human , "" so the pro-slavery forces of amistad use a similar defense . 
the abolitionists regard the africans as men , but the slavers and their supporters see them as animals or property . 
in a sense , the morality of slavery is on trial here with the specter of civil war , which would break out less than three decades later , looming over everything . 
amistad's presentation of the legal and political intricacies surrounding the trial are fascinating , making this movie one of the most engrossing courtroom dramas in recent history . 
four claimants come forward against the africans : the state , which wants them tried for murder ; the queen of spain , who wants them handed over to her under the provision of an american/spanish treaty ; two american naval officers , who claim the right of high seas salvage ; and the two surviving spaniards from la amistad , who demand that their property be returned to them . 
baldwin must counter all of these claims , while facing a challenge to his own preconceived notions as the result of a relationship he develops with cinque . 
even though attorney and client are divided by a language barrier , they gradually learn to communicate . 
aside from cinque , who is a fully-realized individual , characterization is spotty , but the acting is top-notch . 
matthew mcconaughey successfully overcomes his "" pretty boy "" image to become baldwin , but the lawyer is never particularly well-defined outside of his role in the la amistad case . 
likewise , while morgan freeman and stellan skarsgard are effective as joadson and tappan , they are never anything more than "" abolitionists . "" 
nigel hawthorne , who played the title character in the madness of king george , presents martin van buren as a spineless sycophant to whom justice means far less than winning an election . 
finally , there's anthony hopkins , whose towering portrayal of john quincy adams is as compelling as anything the great actor has recently done . 
hopkins , who can convincingly play such diverse figures as a serial killer , an emotionally-crippled english butler , and richard nixon , makes us believe that he is adams . 
his ten-minute speech about freedom and human values is unforgettable . 
one point of difference worth noting between amistad and schindler's list is this film's lack of a well-defined human villain . 
schindler's list had ralph fiennes' superbly-realized amon goeth , who was not only a three-dimensional character , but a personification of all that the nazis stood for . 
there is no such figure in amistad . 
the villain is slavery , but an ideology , no matter how evil , is rarely the best adversary . 
it is to spielberg's credit that he has fashioned such a compelling motion picture without a prominent antagonist . 
amistad's trek to the screen , which encountered some choppy waters ( author barbara chase-riboud has cried plagiarism , a charge denied by the film makers ) , comes in the midst of an upsurge of interest in the incident . 
an opera of the same name opened in chicago on november 29 , 1997 . 
numerous books about the subject are showing up on bookstore shelves . 
it remains to be seen how much longevity the amistad phenomena has , but one thing is certain -- with spielberg's rousing , substantive film leading the way , the spotlight has now illuminated this chapter of american history . 
"
"1","you know you're in for a truly different cinematic experience the moment you realize steve buscemi has been cast as the movie in question's most normal character . 
such is the case with "" the big lebowski , "" joel and ethan coen's first venture since their "" fargo "" nabbed nationwide acclaim and a mantlepiece of academy award nods . 
there's no need to fear that the coens suffered creative burnout with that accomplishment , because "" lebowski "" is an effort that makes words like "" strange "" and "" unusual "" seem like an understatement . 
thanks in part to delicious characterization and an all-encompassing sense of humor , the film is a smashing success . 
the central oddball here is the dude ( jeff bridges ) , an unemployed cad whose ambitions appear to be zilch beyond smoking pot , drinking beer and going bowling ( are you college students already rooting for him , or what ? ) . 
one night , a pair of thugs break into his house and pee on his carpet , a threatening act that's supposed to be carried out against a famous pasadena millionaire ( david huddleston ) who shares his birth name -- jeff lebowski -- with the dude . 
once the dude realizes this coincidence , he visits the big lebowski in hopes to claim reparations for his soiled rug , and is back to his normal life with alley pals walter ( john goodman ) , a hotheaded vietnam vet , and donny ( buscemi ) , a mild-mannered surfer , before too long . 
soon , though , lebowski's trampy trophy wife bunny ( tara reid ) is kidnaped and held for a hefty ransom , and he turns to the dude for help . 
it seems bunny's troubles are related to a line of work she's kept secret from her husband -- she's actually an adult film star and is very in debt with a shady producer named jackie treehorn . 
the dude , now on lebowski's payroll , accepts the offer and agrees to handle the money drop ; walter tags along and insists that the dude keep the cash for himself . 
chaos obviously ensues , and the dude eventually finds himself in hot water with cops , crooks and lebowski's ultra-eccentric artist daughter maude ( julianne moore ) . 
 "" the big lebowski "" deserves to win the coens the same amount of acclaim that "" fargo "" did ; while that 1996 black comedy was certainly a better film , "" lebowski "" is at least as breathtakingly imaginative . 
the movie boasts a mile-high absurdity level that sometimes threatens to topple over , but thankfully never does . 
the coens ( joel directed , ethan produced and both wrote ) keep you in stitches as they unravel their exceedingly loopy tale , and must be commended for juggling a number of people and subplots one would expect to find in a robert altman flick . 
whether we're watching bridges fend off a marmet in his bathtub or moore don viking duds and dance in a busby berkeley-esque dream sequence , "" the big lebowski "" is immensely lively . 
there are those who will dislike this film , but not because it's boring . 
the cast has a great deal of fun with the bounteous material they're given . 
bridges exudes a likeable , surprisingly sweet presence ; his dude sure isn't the cleanest guy around , but you'd still follow him to another movie . 
goodman merits 1998's first oscar consideration , as walter's manic temper is one of "" the big lebowski "" 's many highlights ; the same goes for moore , whose throaty , delectable performance as maude is a hilarious hoot . 
john turturro may very well steal the movie with his two scenes as a colorful bowler from a rival faction . 
sam elliott's rambling narration gets the film off to a solid start . 
and some will recognize peter stormare -- "" fargo "" 's silent heavy -- as carl hungus , a porn star who's really a samurai sword-wielding german nihilist and has-been pop star . 
only in its final third does the movie falter , with a couple of loose plot threads and some cast members who quickly disappear and never emerge for a curtain call . 
these flaws are forgivable , though -- the coens have crafted a tale so rich with personality that it's hard to look at the final product with anything but a big grin on your face . 
without a doubt , "" the big lebowski "" is the best film so far this year . 
sure , we're only three months in and the competition ( "" deep rising , "" "" desperate measures , "" "" the wedding singer , "" etc . ) has been pretty bland , but it's still the gospel truth . 
maybe during next awards season , "" lebowski "" won't be a far cry from "" fargo . "" 
"
"1","a couple of months ago , when i first downloaded the face/off trailer from the net , my initial reaction was a fourteen carrot gold 'yawn' . 
followed swiftly by a press of my computers delete key , not wanting to waste six or seven megabytes of precious space on this piss-poor trailer . 
then i started reading the first wave of reviews from the u . s . . . . . unique . . . excellent . . . . must-see . 
well , i thought still skeptical , i suppose i might as well go see it when it gets here . 
'here' , of course , was still three months away . 
i'll admit , when i trotted off to see this film , the only john woo movie i had seen before was the fairly enjoyable but highly forgetable broken arrow . 
i'd heard good things about his previous work with movies like hard boiled , but his films were definitely not on my must-see list . 
that , let me tell you , has changed completely . 
i knew this fact only five minutes into the film , after the brilliantly shot and acted opening sequence where sean archer loses his son blew me off my feet . 
the acting throughout the film is staggeringly good for an action flick . 
seriously . 
i've never been a big john travolta fan , but he , like cage , perfectly suited his role in the movie . . . . . sorry , 
make that 'roles' in the movie . 
even travolta's great performance , however , paled in comparison to cage's character portrayals . 
my favourite cage scene was definitely when he was crashed out in compardre dietrich hassler's hideout . 
half drugged out of his mind , he sits there reclining back in a chair talking about his son's death from castor's perspective - "" doesn't it just break your heart . "" he mutters coldly . 
now don't go thinking from the previous comments about brilliant acting that this is a drama focused movie - it's not . 
that's what really makes this movie unique . 
it's an action movie with brilliantly portrayed characters . . . . . not a common mix at all . 
suspension of disbelief is paramount in this movie though . . . . . that's 
the only way to overlook the fact that travolta and cage fire around 5671 rounds at each other . . . . and 
never hit . 
several action scenes are just so well choreographed that they just make wish that you could press 'rewind' and watch it over again . 
the part where archer and troy have a stand off on either side of a double-sided mirror is just plain brilliant . 
whilst cage's and travolta's performances would be enough alone to sustain most movies , the lesser characters are just as intriguing . 
joan allen , who usually sticks to the straight drama movies , plays her part perfectly as archer's long suffering wife . 
i like the fact that her character didn't end up toting a gun at the end of the movie . . . it 
would have wrecked her potrayal . 
gina gershon was surprising to say the least as castor troy's mistreated girlfriend . . . . . make that * one of * castor troy's mistreated girlfriends . 
other movies would have used her character as just window dressing . . . a 
sex object , but instead her character is very strong and independent . 
dominique swain , who plays archer's daughter , also does a nice job , though her character is not as explored as much as allen's or gershon's . 
faults ? well . . . there were some i have to say . 
first , the movie's ending , whilst being very good overall , was a bit too drawn out for it's own good . 
after the two combatants begin duelling again after the final boat crash you can't help but think - "" geez , are you guys nuclear powered or what ? "" . 
there were certain bits that weren't handled properly , like where archer appears safe and sound on solid ground after jumping off the converted oil platform/prison - more explanation here would have been nice . 
overall , this movie was not perfect . 
but i thought it was about as close as an action movie has ever came to perfect . 
many critics have claimed that this movie will change the way action movies are made . . . . . i 
certainly hope so . 
"
"1","those print and television ads trumpeting that "" 'grease' is still the word "" are right on the money . 
to celebrate its 20th anniversary , this quintessential movie musical is getting the royal treatment reserved for classics like "" star wars "" -- a well-deserved , red-carpet rerelease . 
that's fantastic , especially when considering of all the classic characters and scenes the film has served up -- who can forget aspiring beautician frenchie ( didi conn ) being serenaded by her tell-it-like-it-is guardian angel ( frankie avalon ) ? 
or the hard-nosed principal ( eve arden ) reminding the student body to "" be an athletic supporter "" by rooting for the home team ? 
or national bandstand emcee vince fontaine ( edd byrnes ) flirting with marty ( a pre- "" empty nest "" dinah manhoff ) ? 
and these are all probably considered minor moments . . . 
a very skinny john travolta and a very young olivia newton-john have the respective leads of danny zuko and sandy olsson , and their pairing still ranks as one of screendom's most effervescently charming . 
for those eight of you who aren't familiar with the story , here's a brief recap : greaser bad boy danny and aussie good girl sandy are reunited for their 1959 senior year at rydell high after a brief fling during the summer ; both thought she was going to return to her native continent before school started , but both were wrong . 
sandy tries to rekindle their relationship , but danny's too cool a cat to fall for her wholesome appeal in front of his t-bird buddies ( including jeff conaway ) . 
so sandy hooks up with a gang herself -- the pink ladies , headed by sassy , sexy rizzo ( stockard channing , just superb as an independent woman well ahead of her time ) -- and danny , who still really feels love for her , attempts a compromise of ideals in order to win her back . 
the drag race finale is yet something of a drag , and i never have thought much of "" greased lightening , "" the film's big "" guy "" number ( that choreography -- ack ! ) , but "" grease "" 's flaws amount too few to carp . 
the movie's first showpiece is "" summer nights , "" where danny and sandy separately recount wildly different versions of their fun-in-the-sun romance . 
not only is "" nights "" tremendously catchy , but it's also a smart look at how men and women see the same events with varying eyes . 
there has yet to be a live-action musical sequence that rivals the one-two punch of "" you're the one that i want "" and "" we go together , "" "" grease "" 's euphoric cappers . 
all this and some of the most pleasing moments come from the smaller , quieter moments ; the oscar-nominated "" hopelessly devoted to you "" is a lovely showcase for newton-john , and channing's lamenting ballad "" there are worse things i could do "" is one of "" grease "" 's most unjustly overlooked tunes . 
the soundtrack is remastered ( though travolta still hits that awful high note at the end of "" nights "" ) and the restored widescreen allows us to see previously pan-and-scanned-out choreography , but nothing else has changed -- no computer-generated backgrounds , no outtakes or new musical numbers , no jabba the hutt cameos . 
and it's a testament to "" grease "" 's timeless success that nothing needs to be changed -- it's the same all-around blast it's always been , with an appealing cast in a fun story told with great music . 
to '90s viewers , "" grease "" will probably recall disco and bellbottoms as much as it made its original audience nostalgic for doo-wop and poodle skirts . 
but regardless of what decade it transports us to , we can all agree on one thing -- without a doubt , "" grease "" is still the word . 
"
"1","the party is one of those classic slapstick comedies that will leave you , at times , cracking up . 
the film takes place , for the most part , in real-time during an exclusive evening party that is attended only by the biggest names in hollywood . 
hrundi v . bakshi , played very well by peter sellers , is a struggling actor who just came to america from his homeland , india . 
hrundi tries out his acting talents , but it seems that he just isn't cut out for the job . 
on the set of his current film that he stars in , hrundi seems to make everything go for the worse . 
during the filming of this movie set in the 1800's , hrundi manages to annoy the director ( herbert ellis ) in any way he can . 
this includes a pitiful acting job in many scenes , wearing an underwater watch in one scene , and accidentally detonating a massive set . 
many of the hollywood producers and big names want hrundi out of the business forever . 
and when the director makes a personal phone call to mr . clutterbuck ( j . 
edward mckinley ) pleading for hrundi's ejection from hollywood , everything is pretty much over for hrundi . 
clutterbuck writes his name down on a piece of paper to insure that hrundi will never again work in hollywood . 
but when this piece of paper turns out to be the guest list for clutterbuck's exclusive party , hrundi is invited , and certain chaos is bound to occur . 
of course , as predicted , hrundi causes lots of trouble . 
each scene in which hrundi encounters a situation , usually one that he can't handle , is almost always very humorous . 
and each scene with hrundi and the drunken waiter , who is alone hilarious , adds to the comedy in a great way . 
the party can be compared to many other films of it's type , specifically the trio of naked gun movies and the airplane movies , but the party is a delightful movie that incorporates very well played out comedy into believable situations . 
it also includes a number of memorable scenes ( can anyone say "" birdy num-num "" ? ) . 
if you're in the mood for fun and enjoyable slapstick comedy , check out the party . 
it's not going to be one of your all-time favorites , but if you enjoy this type of humor , you'll enjoy the party . 
"
"1","once again , the battle is dreamworks versus disney : earlier this year , the mammoth companies fought to the death with their end-of-the-world asteroid flicks , deep impact and armageddon . 
here we are now , just a few months later , and they're at it again with dueling bug movies , antz and a bug's life . 
what i find so astonishing is that both pairs of movies are so inherently similar in both story and execution . 
i mean , come on -- what were the chances of two studios both deciding to bring out computer-animated films about bugs ? 
as was the case with the meteor movies , disney has come out on top : though antz is a likable movie , a bug's life is far superior . 
in fact , this movie made me realize what was wrong with antz : i became immersed in the world of a bug's life , while antz just made me scrutinize everything . 
but it's not really fair to base an entire review on a comparison . 
a bug's life is a remarkable film in its own right , and deserves to be seen apart from any other computer-animated film about bugs . 
in fact , it's one of the best films this year : it's smart , subtle , and funny , but it's also perfect family entertainment and relentlessly entertaining . 
i haven't had such a good time at the movies in months . 
it tells the story of an ant named flick ( voice by dave foley ) ; he's a nice guy , but he's also a troublemaker . 
the ants spend all season putting together the offering , a big pile of food that they provide for the grasshoppers . 
just before the grasshoppers come , flick accidentally knocks over the offering , and ruins everything for the entire colony : the grasshopper's leader , hopper ( kevin spacey ) , is enraged , and tells them that the ants need twice the food by the end of summer , or they're all dead . 
flick , feeling responsible for this , sets off to look for help -- he realizes that the only way to be rid of the grasshoppers is to fight them . 
he heads to the city ( the city being a house a few miles away ) , where he finds a colorful bunch of circus bugs : a ladybug ( denis leary , who is spectacular ) , a black widow ( bonnie hunt ) , a caterpillar ( joe ranft ) , a butterfly ( madeline kahn ) , a rhinoceros beetle ( michael mcshane ) , and a stick ( david hyde-pierce , also giving a hilarious performance ) . 
flick doesn't know they're actors , and they don't know that flick needs them to kill a bunch of grasshoppers , so they return to the colony with flick and find themselves in an unusual position . 
the most obvious element of a bug's life is the quality of animation . 
created by pixar , the same people who brought us toy story , a bug's life has some of the most amazing visuals i've ever seen . 
the bugs seem to inhabit a three-dimensional space , and occasionally there will be a shot that is indistinguishable from live action . 
this is a lush , colorful world , full of life and imagination : the way the animators insert the things all of us see in our daily lives ( matches , bottlecaps , tin cans , etc . ) and make them active objects in the bugs' world is innovative . 
the film is also mercilessly exciting , particularly in a superbly-staged scene involving our heroes' escape from a bird ( a little bird never seemed so huge and threatening ) . 
but the makers of a bug's life know where the importance lies : story and characters . 
flick , with solid voice work from foley , is a great guy to lead the story . 
but the real treat comes with the circus bugs ; they're such a likable group of characters -- the standouts are the stick ( hyde-pierce is so good ) , francis the ladybug , and the big fat caterpillar . 
all of these bugs have more than a token personality , which makes the suspenseful scenes work because we care about the bugs , and it also keeps the tear-jerking scenes from seeming obligatory . 
in my review of antz , i said that the film is a clever cop-out because it presents a bunch of little humans reacting to an ant-like existence . 
in concept , a bug's life is basically the same movie , except that i was never given enough time to find things that i didn't like about it . 
with such strong work in both animation and script , a bug's life is nothing but a joy to sit through . 
it really is too bad that it had to come out so close to that other bug movie , but a bug's life is so good that i'm sure it will find its audience . 
after a slew of endlessly violent and cynical movies , it's downright refreshing to sit through an innocent picture like this and laugh without feeling guilty . 
"
"1","eight years after its release , disney has decided to re-release the little mermaid theatrically for 17 days ( and 17 long nights ) only . 
coincidentally , it was reintroduced to theaters the same day fox's animated film anastasia was released . 
you know disney , they can't deal with the threat of any other studio getting even a small piece of the crust of the kiddie entertainment pie , so when someone else wants to make a little money , they counter with an old "" masterpiece "" from their vault and , you know what , i went to see this 1989 cartoon rather than the brand new one from fox . 
let no one say disney is losing its monopoly on the market . 
they still have hotels on boardwalk _and_ park place . 
believe it or not , today , november 25 , 1997 , at 5 : 05 p . m . , i saw the little mermaid for the first time . 
it took me a few years to get over an aversion to this movie that was caused seven years ago , when i stayed with one of my mom's friends for a couple weeks . 
they had a young child who listened to the little mermaid soundtrack constantly and , over that two week period , i heard every song from the movie probably a hundred times . 
by the time i got back home , i promised myself i'd never see the movie . 
but promises are made to be broken , especially when you're looking at a 17-day , limited engagement . 
damn those shrewd disney marketers and their mind games . 
the little mermaid is based on a hans christian anderson fairy tale , but it's disney-ized , which means lots of talking animals and bursting into song . 
it also means the heroine is a total babe who shows off cleavage from a seashell bra at all times . 
i never wanted so much to be a pair of shells . . . 
the heroine , of course , is ariel ( voice of jodi benson ) , a 16-year-old mermaid who is going through that rebellious phase . 
she skips her concert to explore a wrecked ship and hang out with a seagull that talks like buddy hackett , who tries to orient her to the mysterious world of humans . 
she's also dealing with feelings she hasn't had before -- which comes when you get scales in places you didn't use to have them -- about a handsome prince ( no disney movie would be complete without one ) . 
her father , king triton of the merpeople , strictly forbids such lusting after the ways of the "" savage "" humans , in a condemnation that reads as a not-so-subtle analogy about old- fashioned parents who forbid interracial dating . 
what's a king to do , though ? 
the girl's in love and even total destruction of her little shrine to the human world doesn't deter her . 
ariel saves the prince's life when a hurricane rises up , and just has to meet him . 
she makes a deal with ursula , the sea witch ( voice of pat carroll ) . 
you know she's evil because she has a huge potbelly and one of the worst asses in cartoon history . 
she also has octopus tentacles for feet ( something those dr . scholl's corn pads will not fix ) and offers to help ariel out . 
she'll make her a human for three days if ariel will give up her pretty voice ; ariel has three days to make that prince kiss her , or else she becomes a slave to the witch forever . 
and if she pricks her finger on a sewing machine or eats an evil apple , she'll fall asleep forever . 
it's a simplistic plot , yes , but the little mermaid was a revolution in the disney world , coming after such lackluster efforts as the black cauldron and oliver and company . 
it ranks as one of the best disney cartoons , certainly since the '50s . 
all the elements are there -- memorable songs like "" under the sea "" and "" kiss the girl , "" cartoon animals like sebastian and flounder , an evil villain who still has characterization and charm , and a fair amount of humor that caters to adults as well as children . 
the little mermaid is worth a big-screen ticket in 1997 , so hurry up , you only have five days left . 
serving america for more than 1/25th of a century ! 
"
"1","in a flashback , the teenage girl in the eccentric family in the canadian film , the hanging garden , tells her senile grandmother that she is going to a school dance . 
horrified , the grandmother wants to know if her granddaughter knows "" the rule of 6 . "" 
if you don't break off a kiss by the count of 6 , then you committed a sin with the boy . 
and most of all , the grandmother wants to know if she has "" protection ? "" 
she must carry a rosary in her pocket at all times . 
the richly acted film is written and directed by thom fitzgerald in a quirky but loving style . 
although some may refer to the film as yet another dysfunctional family picture , that moniker misses the mark . 
yes , every member of the household has their own special problems , but the writer didn't choose to name so many characters for various flowers by accident . 
this delightful little picture mixes love , tragedy and pathos , resulting in a hopeful and almost magical concoction . 
during the opening credits we observe the boy , sweet william , at the center of the story . 
first , he's an average sized young lad who is slapped off-screen by his father . 
next , he's 300 pound teenager , played with hopelessness and depression by troy veinotte . 
when the opening credits end , we cut to 10 years later . 
william is now an average-sized , reasonably happy adult , played with love and compassion by chris leavins . 
william has returned after 10 years absence to attend the marriage of his free-spirited and foul-mouthed sister rosemary to his first childhood lover , fletcher ( joe s . keller ) . 
kerry fox from an angel at my table and shallow grave plays rosemary with a compelling joy . 
nicole burnell , who gave such a devastating performance in the sweet hereafter , plays the teenage rosemary . 
the father of the family , whiskey mac ( peter macneill ) , is an alcoholic autocrat who is more obnoxious than harmful . 
his wife , iris ( seana mckenna ) , says that she would have left him years ago to at least go to some place warm were it not for her lack of money and her obligations to the kids . 
rounding out the family is christine dunsworth as nine-year-old violet , the sister whom william meets for the first time . 
as the exuberant irish music fills the air at the wedding in the family home , william wanders off to try on one of his old coats , which causes him to laugh at the size of his former self . 
the director manages to stage simple scenes in wonderfully imaginative ways . 
he takes a common wedding dress train and uses it to set up scenes in fresh and fascinating ways . 
rosmary's trip to the bathroom after drinking too much beer is beautifully orchestrated , and kerry fox is at her hilarious best trying to cope with the long train in a small bath , all while talking to her brother . 
as much as anything , the film is a series of character sketches . 
in one of the strongest we watch william in a flashback as he has his first sexual encounter , a homosexual one . 
although he is perfectly happy liking the same sex , his mother is aghast . 
a woman friend of hers suggests she take william to a local housewife , dusty miller ( martha irving ) , who , for a fee , will have heterosexual sex with william . 
with absolute finesse the director crafts a subtle scene that manages to yield significant emotional punch without being sensational . 
dusty , after asking iris to watch her daughter , takes william and gently introduces him to the joys of sex with the opposite sex . 
all of this notwithstanding , he still prefers males . 
the film is at its most poignant in several sequences in which the grown william comes face-to-face with himself when younger . 
this causes his ugly old memories to be reignited . 
in the most devastating , he has to come to grips with his former self who was so overwhelmed with the stress that he tried to hang himself . 
even here , the director touches your heart without ever letting the story dissolve into anything approaching a tearjerker . 
the ultimate result is an uplifting story that has more hope that one would ever expect from the outline of its plot . 
the hanging garden runs 1 : 31 . 
it is rated r for strong sexuality , language , violence and some teen drug use and would be acceptable for teenagers only if they are quite old and mature . 
"
"1"," ( dimension films , "" scream 2 "" 's distributor , has asked press to say extremely little -- if anything -- about the film's twisty plot . 
that's no easy task considering the wit that deserves to be mentioned here , but i will do my best to be vague ( now , there's a first ) . ) 
 "" the first one was [good] , but all the rest sucked , "" said a cinematically-savvy teen in last winter's wes craven thriller "" scream , "" her statement referring to the films of the "" nightmare on elm street "" series but really putting down franchise overkill in general . 
the comment certainly carries clout : for every truly great sequel , there appears to be a couple of duds , making one wonder if writers are better off sticking solely with fresh ideas . 
but like it or not , along comes "" scream 2 . "" and believe it or not , it's a doozy -- a slick , sinister , madly subversive good time at the movies , as intent on sending up hollywood's sequel syndrome as much as its prequel poked fun at slasher conventions . 
 "" scream 2 "" is definitely that rare movie thing -- a follow-up that can stand along side its original with pride . 
it's been two years since a pair of overzealous horror movie fans clad in edvard munch-esque get-ups carved their way through the young populace of woodsboro , california . 
those surviving the ordeal have gotten on with their lives . 
plucky heroine sidney prescott ( neve campbell ) is a drama student at the midwestern windsor college ; her pop culture-whiz pal randy meeks ( jamie kennedy ) has tagged along . 
trash tabloid reporter gale weathers ( courteney cox ) has written a best-seller based on their ordeal , the basis of which has been turned into a ( very bad ) movie called "" stab . "" 
and dewey riley ( david arquette ) , still suffering from wounds inflicted during "" scream , "" has left his job as a police officer for a while . 
life is tranquil . . . 
at least for a while . 
several sudden murders bring sidney , randy , gale and dewey together again , but with suspicious eyes cast on each other and most of those in their surroundings -- if these four people learned anything from the past , it's to trust no one . 
thus , the possible victim/potential killer list includes said quartet , as well as : derek ( jerry o'connell ) , sidney's new beau ; cici ( sara michelle gellar ) , a chatty sorority gal ; joel ( duane martin ) , gale's cameraman who's not too thrilled with her blood-soaked past ; hallie ( elise neal ) , sidney's sassy roommate ; debbie ( laurie metcalf ) , a local reporter who gives gale some not-too-friendly competition ; and mickey ( timothy olyphant ) , randy's good friend and fellow film student . 
cotton weary ( liev schreiber ) , the man sidney wrongly accused of her mother's murder in scream , also shows up on campus -- but why ? 
like the first scream , craven and screenwriter kevin williamson inaugurate things with a bang . 
this time , it's an extended sequence that finds an african-american couple ( jada pinkett and omar epps ) attending a sneak preview of "" stab , "" making sly references about everything from sandra bullock to the lunchmeat non-roles of blacks in slasher cinema . 
before tragedy ensues at the screening , the movie-within-a-movie setup allows for plenty of jokey moments , including a scene from "" stab "" which turns scream's now-famous drew barrymore prologue on its ear . 
 ( "" b---- , hang up the phone and star-69 his a-- ! "" 
pinkett yells at the screen . ) 
it's funny , creepy stuff ( i don't think i'll ever feel safe in a movie theater again ) that effectively foreshadows the ratio of smart scares and spoofy laughs down the road . 
another flawless example of this is a riotous cell phone-assault of the killer on randy , dewey and gale in broad daylight ; it builds comedically and ends with genuine terror because of the emotional investment made on these delicious characters . 
there are other superb set pieces , but explaining them risks ruining their effect . 
there are more players this time around as to provide both a higher number suspects and a staggering body count . 
it's something of a trade-in -- the new characters are too large in number to be as fully-developed as the original "" scream "" gang , but this movie packs in knowing performances ( especially by kennedy and cox ) and more death for your dollar . 
it can be argued that , while the original might outclass it by a tad , scream 2 is both scarier and funnier . 
it certainly doesn't skimp with shocks -- a major one being the killing of one cast member very near and dear to my heart ( i actually questioned craven and williamson's judgment here , considering how much this person has added to these films ) . 
sometimes you wish that more could have been done with stab -- the two scenes we're shown are dead-on -- but for film fans , there are plenty of subtle nods to movies like "" the usual suspects , "" "" aliens "" and "" the empire strikes back . "" 
still , "" scream 2 "" does so many things right , it's petty to quibble . 
its penchant for parody is irresistible , discussions of the merits of film sequels and all . 
the attractive , solid cast is a definite bonus . 
and the denouement ( while not as shocking as "" scream "" 's ) is priceless ; the film's final revelation incorporates bits of a particular horror film prominently referred to in "" scream "" with one of the best bad guy motives ever put on paper . 
all this and a "" scream 3 "" is in the works . 
knowing the series' tendency for self-reference , perhaps one of its characters will again discuss the concept of sequel justice . 
mentioning "" scream 2 "" 'll help them in their argument . 
"
"1","edward zwick's "" the siege "" raises more questions than it can convincingly answer or even clearly articulate . 
its subject is the rising threat of terrorism in american cities . 
denzel washington is anthony "" hub "" hubbard , who runs the fbi's anti-terrorism task force in new york . 
his investigation into arab terrorist cells intensifies when suicide bombers take out a busload of people . 
hub focuses on a mysterious cia operative ( annette bening ) , whose goes by both "" elise "" and "" sharon . "" 
as the terrorist attacks continue and the body count rises , the question of martial law is raised . 
enter general devereaux ( bruce willis ) , who opposes martial law at first but who , as soon as the president decides to send in the army , begins herding arab immigrants into a prison camp and attacking every link that hub uncovers in the terrorist chain . 
hub listens as devereaux tortures and murders a suspect . 
the future zwick and screenwriter lawrence wright offer is all too possible . 
what would happen , they ask , if terrorism became as much a fact of daily life in new york as it is in cities like beirut and belfast ? 
what would happen to our civil liberties if soldiers patrol our streets with machine guns ? 
these questions "" the siege "" answers in realistic detail . 
it implies tougher ones , though : what can be done to combat terrorism without sacrificing justice and freedom ? 
if we encourage terrorism abroad ( from bening's character we discover that the cia trained the bombers ) , will it inevitably come back to us ? 
 "" siege "" avoids the tougher questions by endowing its hero , hub , with a uncompromising sense of clear right and wrong . 
this comforting fantasy of sir galahad confronting the evils of the modern world is an escape from the thought-provoking issues the movie raises . 
still , zwick deserves credit for at least addressing the issue with as much realism as he does where so many movies ( willis' "" die hard "" series , for example ) offer only a comic-book view on terrorism . 
"
"1","a movie that's been as highly built up as the truman show , with reviews boasting , "" the film of the decade ! "" 
and "" a breakthrough ! "" 
can only be leading up to letdown . 
that's no doubt -- it seems any movie with critical acclaim makes you think you're going in for the ride of your life , that you'll end up changed on the other side , and you come out of the theater going , "" eh . . . 
 * that's * what all the fuss was about ? "" 
so , naturally , the truman show was building up to what was going to be a dissapointment . 
and i convinced myself , as i nestled into my uncomfortable movie theater chair , actually to try not to enjoy it . 
let me tell you , that is an impossibilty . 
the truman show is truly "" the film of the decade "" and "" a breakthrough "" and more . 
and you will come out changed on the other side . 
such a movie comes around only once in a lifetime , where you find yourself feeling everything that the character is feeling , and this , friends , is it . 
jim carrey shows that he doesn't need to talk out of his butt to entertain us ; that he can be as dramatic as any of hollywood's leading men . 
the film has a difficult premise to tackle , trying to set us up thirty years into the "" truman show's "" run , but tackle it it does , and perfectly . 
with flashbacks actually being flashbacks on the television show , you get the sense that you are viewing a * real * prime-time hit . 
and the way the camera constantly takes the forms it would in the "" real "" truman show is clever and well-done . 
people , rejoice ! 
this is the first oscar-worthy film of not only this year , but of the last five years . 
not since "" schindler's list "" has a movie captured human spirit and true despair so well . 
this is a classic in the making , and ( to borrow a line from esquire's review ) it stars jim carrey . 
nothing in his career to date and nothing he can do in the future will ever be able to top his role as truman burbank ; mark my word . 
for , as i said , this is the movie of a lifetime and the role is of the same calibre . 
forget special-effect ladden summer fodder . 
drop your romantic comedies in the trash . 
toss your thrillers and teen flicks on the pile . 
you need nothing more than "" the truman show "" to carry you through the summer , or for that matter , the year . 
oh ! and in case i don't see you , good afternoon , good evening , and goodnight . 
"
"1","go's is a gloriously slick hip machine . 
director liman ( who also photographed go ) and screenwriter august celebrate the drug/rave scene in l . a . , preferring to take ( comedic ) snapshots of troubled youth rather than critique them . 
after more than ninety minutes of pill-popping , tantric sex , car chases , and attempted murder , go even has a happy ending . 
this is the sort of film that gives members of the dove foundation splitting headaches ; as go wound down , i anticipated an anti-pill-popping-casual-tantric-sex-car-chase-attempted-murder sermon that ( blessedly ) didn't arrive . 
a la tarantino's pulp fiction , go is comprised of three separate but related stories . 
the basics are as follows : ronna ( polley ) is a bitter grocery store clerk facing eviction who turns to drug dealing for extra dough . 
her co-worker , simon ( the improbably named askew ) , is a clubber from britain ecstatic about his first trip to vegas . 
zack ( mohr ) and adam ( wolf ) are soap opera stars escaping a career-threatening conviction by assisting a peculiar cop ( fichtner ) in a drug bust . 
perhaps because the innovative structure of tarantino's non-linear masterwork is by now old hat , the id-fueled go delighted me but rarely surprised me ( with the exception of that mind-reading cat ! ) ; 
pulp fiction zigzagged down roads unforeseen , but we see go's wheels turning from its first flash frame to the last . 
torontonian polley ( of the sweet hereafter ) refused to do publicity for this picture on the basis that she was "" not pleased with "" her turn as the ill-fated cashier . 
in go , she delivers , hands-down , her best performance to date . 
here's an ( overrated ) actress who agreed to appear on the poster , but not support her team at the junket or in interviews ; this sort of arrogance is commonplace for ms . polley , as anyone who has read of her political agenda in the canadian press will tell you . 
if she doesn't want to be the ingenue of the moment , she should have said "" no , "" not go . 
but i digress . 
go is a fun film , so chipperly depraved one can't help but turn off his moral judgment for its duration and enjoy the ride . 
in that sense , it's a departure from liman's last film , swingers , which at least lectured against self-absorption in the form of vince vaughan's trent and his subtle comeuppance in the story's clever epilogue ( which has been aped by mcdonald's for their latest commercial ) . 
i wish i cared more about go's characters : like the techno music they listen to , the bands of anarchists on display here are at once absorbing and vacuous . 
when the lights came up and stung my eyes , it was difficult to recall what about it entertained me . 
yet entertain me it did . 
go is light and frothy , featuring compelling if not endearing work by polley , timothy olyphant ( scream 2 ) , and especially fichtner , whose homoerotic behavior is milked for effective laughs . 
fichtner is a character actor best known for playing backstabbers ( in heat , armageddon , and others ) ; his previously untapped comic abilities shine in go . 
unlike much of the film , fichtner is unpredictable . 
"
"-1","plot : two teen couples go to a church party , drink and then drive . 
they get into an accident . 
one of the guys dies , but his girlfriend continues to see him in her life , and has nightmares . 
what's the deal ? 
watch the movie and "" sorta "" find out . . . 
critique : a mind-fuck movie for the teen generation that touches on a very cool idea , but presents it in a very bad package . 
which is what makes this review an even harder one to write , since i generally applaud films which attempt to break the mold , mess with your head and such ( lost highway & memento ) , but there are good and bad ways of making all types of films , and these folks just didn't snag this one correctly . 
they seem to have taken this pretty neat concept , but executed it terribly . 
so what are the problems with the movie ? 
well , its main problem is that it's simply too jumbled . 
it starts off "" normal "" but then downshifts into this "" fantasy "" world in which you , as an audience member , have no idea what's going on . 
there are dreams , there are characters coming back from the dead , there are others who look like the dead , there are strange apparitions , there are disappearances , there are a looooot of chase scenes , there are tons of weird things that happen , and most of it is simply not explained . 
now i personally don't mind trying to unravel a film every now and then , but when all it does is give me the same clue over and over again , i get kind of fed up after a while , which is this film's biggest problem . 
it's obviously got this big secret to hide , but it seems to want to hide it completely until its final five minutes . 
and do they make things entertaining , thrilling or even engaging , in the meantime ? 
not really . 
the sad part is that the arrow and i both dig on flicks like this , so we actually figured most of it out by the half-way point , so all of the strangeness after that did start to make a little bit of sense , but it still didn't the make the film all that more entertaining . 
i guess the bottom line with movies like this is that you should always make sure that the audience is "" into it "" even before they are given the secret password to enter your world of understanding . 
i mean , showing melissa sagemiller running away from visions for about 20 minutes throughout the movie is just plain lazy ! ! 
okay , we get it . . . there 
are people chasing her and we don't know who they are . 
do we really need to see it over and over again ? 
how about giving us different scenes offering further insight into all of the strangeness going down in the movie ? 
apparently , the studio took this film away from its director and chopped it up themselves , and it shows . 
there might've been a pretty decent teen mind-fuck movie in here somewhere , but i guess "" the suits "" decided that turning it into a music video with little edge , would make more sense . 
the actors are pretty good for the most part , although wes bentley just seemed to be playing the exact same character that he did in american beauty , only in a new neighborhood . 
but my biggest kudos go out to sagemiller , who holds her own throughout the entire film , and actually has you feeling her character's unraveling . 
overall , the film doesn't stick because it doesn't entertain , it's confusing , it rarely excites and it feels pretty redundant for most of its runtime , despite a pretty cool ending and explanation to all of the craziness that came before it . 
oh , and by the way , this is not a horror or teen slasher flick . . . it's 
just packaged to look that way because someone is apparently assuming that the genre is still hot with the kids . 
it also wrapped production two years ago and has been sitting on the shelves ever since . 
whatever . . . skip 
it ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
a nightmare of elm street 3 ( 7/10 ) - blair witch 2 ( 7/10 ) - the crow ( 9/10 ) - the crow : salvation ( 4/10 ) - lost highway ( 10/10 ) - memento ( 10/10 ) - the others ( 9/10 ) - stir of echoes ( 8/10 ) 
"
"-1","the happy bastard's quick movie review 
damn that y2k bug . 
it's got a head start in this movie starring jamie lee curtis and another baldwin brother ( william this time ) in a story regarding a crew of a tugboat that comes across a deserted russian tech ship that has a strangeness to it when they kick the power back on . 
little do they know the power within . . . 
going for the gore and bringing on a few action sequences here and there , virus still feels very empty , like a movie going for all flash and no substance . 
we don't know why the crew was really out in the middle of nowhere , we don't know the origin of what took over the ship ( just that a big pink flashy thing hit the mir ) , and , of course , we don't know why donald sutherland is stumbling around drunkenly throughout . 
here , it's just "" hey , let's chase these people around with some robots "" . 
the acting is below average , even from the likes of curtis . 
you're more likely to get a kick out of her work in halloween h20 . 
sutherland is wasted and baldwin , well , he's acting like a baldwin , of course . 
the real star here are stan winston's robot design , some schnazzy cgi , and the occasional good gore shot , like picking into someone's brain . 
so , if robots and body parts really turn you on , here's your movie . 
otherwise , it's pretty much a sunken ship of a movie . 
"
"-1","it is movies like these that make a jaded movie viewer thankful for the invention of the timex indiglo watch . 
based on the late 1960's television show by the same name , the mod squad tells the tale of three reformed criminals under the employ of the police to go undercover . 
however , things go wrong as evidence gets stolen and they are immediately under suspicion . 
of course , the ads make it seem like so much more . 
quick cuts , cool music , claire dane's nice hair and cute outfits , car chases , stuff blowing up , and the like . 
sounds like a cool movie , does it not ? 
after the first fifteen minutes , it quickly becomes apparent that it is not . 
the mod squad is certainly a slick looking production , complete with nice hair and costumes , but that simply isn't enough . 
the film is best described as a cross between an hour-long cop show and a music video , both stretched out into the span of an hour and a half . 
and with it comes every single clich ? . 
it doesn't really matter that the film is based on a television show , as most of the plot elements have been recycled from everything we've already seen . 
the characters and acting is nothing spectacular , sometimes even bordering on wooden . 
claire danes and omar epps deliver their lines as if they are bored , which really transfers onto the audience . 
the only one to escape relatively unscathed is giovanni ribisi , who plays the resident crazy man , ultimately being the only thing worth watching . 
unfortunately , even he's not enough to save this convoluted mess , as all the characters don't do much apart from occupying screen time . 
with the young cast , cool clothes , nice hair , and hip soundtrack , it appears that the film is geared towards the teenage mindset . 
despite an american 'r' rating ( which the content does not justify ) , the film is way too juvenile for the older mindset . 
information on the characters is literally spoon-fed to the audience ( would it be that hard to show us instead of telling us ? ) , dialogue is poorly written , and the plot is extremely predictable . 
the way the film progresses , you likely won't even care if the heroes are in any jeopardy , because you'll know they aren't . 
basing the show on a 1960's television show that nobody remembers is of questionable wisdom , especially when one considers the target audience and the fact that the number of memorable films based on television shows can be counted on one hand ( even one that's missing a finger or two ) . 
the number of times that i checked my watch ( six ) is a clear indication that this film is not one of them . 
it is clear that the film is nothing more than an attempt to cash in on the teenage spending dollar , judging from the rash of really awful teen-flicks that we've been seeing as of late . 
avoid this film at all costs . 
"
"-1"," "" quest for camelot "" is warner bros . ' first feature-length , fully-animated attempt to steal clout from disney's cartoon empire , but the mouse has no reason to be worried . 
the only other recent challenger to their throne was last fall's promising , if flawed , 20th century fox production "" anastasia , "" but disney's "" hercules , "" with its lively cast and colorful palate , had her beat hands-down when it came time to crown 1997's best piece of animation . 
this year , it's no contest , as "" quest for camelot "" is pretty much dead on arrival . 
even the magic kingdom at its most mediocre -- that'd be "" pocahontas "" for those of you keeping score -- isn't nearly as dull as this . 
the story revolves around the adventures of free-spirited kayley ( voiced by jessalyn gilsig ) , the early-teen daughter of a belated knight from king arthur's round table . 
kayley's only dream is to follow in her father's footsteps , and she gets her chance when evil warlord ruber ( gary oldman ) , an ex-round table member-gone-bad , steals arthur's magical sword excalibur and accidentally loses it in a dangerous , booby-trapped forest . 
with the help of hunky , blind timberland-dweller garrett ( carey elwes ) and a two-headed dragon ( eric idle and don rickles ) that's always arguing with itself , kayley just might be able to break the medieval sexist mold and prove her worth as a fighter on arthur's side . 
 "" quest for camelot "" is missing pure showmanship , an essential element if it's ever expected to climb to the high ranks of disney . 
there's nothing here that differentiates "" quest "" from something you'd see on any given saturday morning cartoon -- subpar animation , instantly forgettable songs , poorly-integrated computerized footage . 
 ( compare kayley and garrett's run-in with the angry ogre to herc's battle with the hydra . 
i rest my case . ) 
even the characters stink -- none of them are remotely interesting , so much that the film becomes a race to see which one can out-bland the others . 
in the end , it's a tie -- they all win . 
that dragon's comedy shtick is awfully cloying , but at least it shows signs of a pulse . 
at least fans of the early-'90s tgif television line-up will be thrilled to find jaleel "" urkel "" white and bronson "" balki "" pinchot sharing the same footage . 
a few scenes are nicely realized ( though i'm at a loss to recall enough to be specific ) , and the actors providing the voice talent are enthusiastic ( though most are paired up with singers who don't sound a thing like them for their big musical moments -- jane seymour and celine dion ? ? ? ) . 
but one must strain through too much of this mess to find the good . 
aside from the fact that children will probably be as bored watching this as adults , "" quest for camelot "" 's most grievous error is its complete lack of personality . 
and personality , we learn from this mess , goes a very long way . 
"
"-1","synopsis : a mentally unstable man undergoing psychotherapy saves a boy from a potentially fatal accident and then falls in love with the boy's mother , a fledgling restauranteur . 
unsuccessfully attempting to gain the woman's favor , he takes pictures of her and kills a number of people in his way . 
comments : stalked is yet another in a seemingly endless string of spurned-psychos-getting-their-revenge type movies which are a stable category in the 1990s film industry , both theatrical and direct-to-video . 
their proliferation may be due in part to the fact that they're typically inexpensive to produce ( no special effects , no big name stars ) and serve as vehicles to flash nudity ( allowing them to frequent late-night cable television ) . 
stalked wavers slightly from the norm in one respect : the psycho never actually has an affair ; on the contrary , he's rejected rather quickly ( the psycho typically is an ex-lover , ex-wife , or ex-husband ) . 
other than that , stalked is just another redundant entry doomed to collect dust on video shelves and viewed after midnight on cable . 
stalked does not provide much suspense , though that is what it sets out to do . 
interspersed throughout the opening credits , for instance , a serious-sounding narrator spouts statistics about stalkers and ponders what may cause a man to stalk ( it's implicitly implied that all stalkers are men ) while pictures of a boy are shown on the screen . 
after these credits , a snapshot of actor jay underwood appears . 
the narrator states that "" this is the story of daryl gleason "" and tells the audience that he is the stalker . 
of course , really , this is the story of restauranteur brooke daniels . 
if the movie was meant to be about daryl , then it should have been called stalker not stalked . 
okay . so we know who the stalker is even before the movie starts ; no guesswork required . 
stalked proceeds , then , as it begins : obvious , obvious , obvious . 
the opening sequence , contrived quite a bit , brings daryl and brooke ( the victim ) together . 
daryl obsesses over brooke , follows her around , and tries to woo her . 
ultimately rejected by her , his plans become more and more desperate and elaborate . 
these plans include the all-time , psycho-in-love , cliche : the murdered pet . 
for some reason , this genre's films require a dead pet to be found by the victim stalked . 
stalked is no exception ( it's a cat this time -- found in the shower ) . 
events like these lead to the inevitable showdown between stalker and stalked , where only one survives ( guess who it invariably always is and you'll guess the conclusion to this turkey ) . 
stalked's cast is uniformly adequate : not anything to write home about but also not all that bad either . 
jay underwood , as the stalker , turns toward melodrama a bit too much . 
he overdoes it , in other words , but he still manages to be creepy enough to pass as the type of stalker the story demands . 
maryam d'abo , about the only actor close to being a star here ( she played the bond chick in the living daylights ) , is equally adequate as the "" stalked "" of the title , even though she seems too ditzy at times to be a strong , independent business-owner . 
brooke ( d'abo ) needs to be ditzy , however , for the plot to proceed . 
toward the end , for example , brooke has her suspicions about daryl . 
to ensure he won't use it as another excuse to see her , brooke decides to return a toolbox he had left at her place to his house . 
does she just leave the toolbox at the door when no one answers ? 
of course not . 
she tries the door , opens it , and wanders around the house . 
when daryl returns , he enters the house , of course , so our heroine is in danger . 
somehow , even though her car is parked at the front of the house , right by the front door , daryl is oblivious to her presence inside . 
the whole episode places an incredible strain on the audience's suspension of disbelief and questions the validity of either character's intelligence . 
stalked receives two stars because , even though it is highly derivative and somewhat boring , it is not so bad that it cannot be watched . 
rated r mostly for several murder scenes and brief nudity in a strip bar , it is not as offensive as many other thrillers in this genre are . 
if you're in the mood for a good suspense film , though , stake out something else . 
"
"-1","capsule : in 2176 on the planet mars police taking into custody an accused murderer face the title menace . 
there is a lot of fighting and not a whole lot of story otherwise . 
john carpenter reprises so many ideas from his previous films , especially assault on precinct 13 , that the new film comes off as his homage to himself . 
 , 0 ( -4 to +4 ) . 
john carpenter apparently believes that action scenes in which people fight something horrible are the same as horror scenes . 
for a writer and director of horror films , supposedly an expert on horror , it is a very bad mistake to make . 
ghosts of mars is called a horror movie , but it is more just a drawn out fight between humans and a surprisingly low-powered alien menace . 
in addition if anybody but john carpenter had made ghosts of mars , carpenter would have grounds to sue . 
this film is just chock full of pieces taken from assault on precinct 13 , the thing , and prince of darkness . 
it is , in fact , surprising that carpenter managed to fit so many pieces of his previous work into this film in such an admittedly novel way . 
but that still does not make for a really good science fiction experience . 
ghosts of mars takes place in the year 2176 . 
mars has been mostly terraformed so that humans can walk on the surface without breathing gear ( which is good for the film's budget ) . 
it is never mentioned , but the gravity on mars has been increased somehow to earth-normal , again making it easier to film . 
society has changed a bit by that time , but it has advanced surprisingly little . 
apparently the culture has changed so that women are much more in positions of control . 
and from carpenter's view , women have really made a mess of things . 
society has stagnated under female control so that beyond some minor technological advances society has changed less in 175 years than we might expect it to change in ten . 
the basic plot of ghosts of mars has much in common with that of assault on precinct 13 except that precinct 9 ( yes , precinct 9 ) has been replaced by a somewhat tacky looking rundown martian mining colony . 
instead of having the criminal "" napolean "" wilson , this film has the criminal "" desolation "" williams . 
instead of facing hoodlums with automatic weapons the police face , well , ghosts of mars . 
because the ghosts are somewhat alien in nature they should behave in some alien manner , but they essentially behave as human savages , in another lapse of imagination . 
the story is told in flashback , flashback within flashback , and flashback within flashback within flashback . 
ghosts of mars takes place entirely at night and is filmed almost entirely in tones of red , yellow , and black . 
carpenter manages to give us a powerful opening scene , showing a mining train rushing through the martian night to the sound of music with a heavy beat . 
sadly what follows is not really up to the buildup . 
the terror he creates looks a little too much like fugitive wannabes from the rock band kiss . 
his idea of building suspense is having a bunch of sudden jump scenes that sucker the viewer into thinking something scary is happening and then prove to be just something boring . 
these are standard haunted house film shock effects that require no great talent to give the audience . 
somewhat newer but also unimpressive are the cgi digital decapitations in some of the fights . 
within a short stretch of time we have seen the release of mission to mars , red planet , and ghosts of mars . 
after mission to mars was panned by too many reviewers it looks better and better and better as time goes by . 
i rate ghosts of mars a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
following the movie i showed my wife , who liked ghosts of mars moderately more than i did , carpenter's classic assault on precinct 13 . 
her comment is that it was seeing the same film twice . 
"
"-1","so ask yourself what "" 8mm "" ( "" eight millimeter "" ) is really all about . 
is it about a wholesome surveillance man who loses sight of his values after becoming enmeshed in the seedy , sleazy underworld of hardcore pornography ? 
is it about the business itself , how , bubbling just beneath the surface of big-town americana , there's a sordid world of sick and depraved people who won't necessarily stop short of murder in order to satisfy their sick and twisted desires ? 
or is it about those who can , those who are in a position to influence the making of the kinds of films sick and demented people want to see ? 
i'm not talking about snuff films , supposed "" documentaries "" of victims being brutalized and killed on camera . 
i'm talking about films like "" 8mm "" and its director , joel schumacher . 
with a recent run of big budget movies to his credit-- "" batman & robin , "" "" a time to kill , "" "" batman forever , "" "" the client "" --schumacher certainly has that kind of influence . 
is "" 8mm "" something you really want to see ? 
probably not . 
the first two-thirds of "" 8mm "" unwind as a fairly conventional missing persons drama , albeit with a particularly unsavory core . 
then , as it's been threatening all along , the film explodes into violence . 
and just when you think it's finally over , schumacher tags on a ridiculous self-righteous finale that drags the whole unpleasant experience down even further . 
trust me . 
there are better ways to waste two hours of your life . 
nicolas ' "" snake eyes "" ' cage plays private investigator tom welles who is hired by a wealthy philadelphia widow to determine whether a reel of film found in her late husband's safe documents a young girl's murder . 
welles goes about his assignment rather matter-of-factly , and the pieces of the puzzle fall into place rather neatly , almost as if you don't need any specialized skills or training to do this . 
welles certainly makes it look easy . 
and cops , obviously , never look in toilet tanks for clues . 
the deeper welles digs into his investigation the more obsessed he becomes , like george c . scott in paul schrader's "" hardcore . "" 
occasionally , a little flickering sound whirs in his head like sprockets winding through a film projector , reminding him of his unpleasant task . 
there are hints that this is taking its toll on his lovely wife , played by catherine keener , who is frustrated by her husband spending all of his time in cleveland rather than in their ugly split-level home in harrisburg , pa . 
 "" 8mm "" doesn't condemn or condone its subject matter , it just exploits it . 
the irony , of course , is that schumacher and "" seven "" scribe andrew kevin walker's vision of life in the snuff lane is limited by what they can show in an r-rated , first-run hollywood product . 
so we only see snippets of snuff , and a lot more footage of nicolas cage covering his face in horror . 
later it's the turn of joaquin phoenix ( who's quite good and by far the film's most interesting character as adult bookstore flunky max california ) to cover his face as the horrid thing is screened over and over again . 
all this to get to the familiar yet offensive "" revelation "" that sexual deviants are not , indeed , monsters but everyday people like you and me . 
neither super nor standard , "" 8mm "" is shocking only in its banality . 
"
"-1","that's exactly how long the movie felt to me . 
there weren't even nine laughs in nine months . 
it's a terrible mess of a movie starring a terrible mess of a man , mr . hugh grant , a huge dork . 
it's not the whole oral-sex/prostitution thing ( referring to grant , not me ) that bugs me , it's the fact that grant is annoying . 
not just adam sandler-annoying , we're talking jim carrey-annoying . 
since when do eye flutters and nervous smiles pass for acting ? 
but , on the other hand , since when do really bad slapstick ( a fistfight in the delivery room culminating in grant's head in joan cusack's lap--a scene he paid $60 to have included in the movie ) and obscene double entendres ( robin williams , the obstetrician , tells grant's pregnant girlfriend she has "" a big pussy , "" referring of course to the size of the cat hairs on her coat , but nonetheless , grant paid $60 to have the exchange included in the movie ) pass for comedy ? 
nine months is a predictable cookie-cutter movie with no originality in humor or plot . 
hugh grant plays a successful child psychiatrist . 
why a child psychologist ? 
so the scriptwriters could inject the following unfunny exchange : 
kid : my dad's an asshole . 
grant ( flutters eyelashes , offers a nervous smile , then responds in his annoying english accent and i-think-i-actually-have- talent attitude ) : could you possibly elaborate on that ? 
kid : my dad's a _huge_ asshole . 
more like a hugh asshole , but that's beside the point , which is : nine months includes too many needlessly stupid jokes that get laughs from the ten year olds in the audience while everyone else shakes his or her head in disbelief . 
so , anyway , grant finds out his girlfriend is pregnant and does his usual reaction ( fluttered eyelashes , nervous smiles ) . 
this paves the way for every possible pregnancy/child birth gag in the book , especially since grant's equally annoying friend's wife is also pregnant . 
the annoying friend is played by tom arnold , who provides most of the cacophonous slapstick , none of which is funny , such as a scene where arnold beats up a costumed "" arnie the dinosaur "" ( you draw your own parallels on that one ) in a toy store . 
the only interesting character in the movie is played by jeff goldblum , who should have hid himself away somewhere after the dreadful hideaway , as an artist with a fear of ( and simultaneous longing for ) commitment . 
not even robin williams , who plays a russian doctor who has recently decided to switch from veterinary medicine to obstetrics , has much humor . 
his is a one-joke character-- the old foreign-guy-who-mispronounces-english stereotype ( did someone say yakov smirnov ? 
that's my favorite vodka , by the way ) , hence the line "" now it's time to take a look at your volvo , "" another nasty but unamusing joke , except this one goes right over the ten year olds' heads , while the adults simultaneously groan . 
nine months is a complete failure , low on laughs and intelligence and high on loud , unfunny slapstick , failed jokes and other uninspired lunacy . 
hugh grant's sunset boulevard arrest ( please , no caught-with-his-pants-down jokes ) may bring more people into the theaters , but they certainly won't leave with a smile on their faces , not after 90 minutes of grant's nervous smiles . 
everything in the movie is so forced , so unauthentic that anyone with an i . q . 
over 80 ( sorry , hugh ) will know they wasted their money on an unfulfilled desire . 
but at least they didn't spend 60 bucks for it . 
"
"-1","call it a road trip for the walking wounded . 
stellan skarsg ? rd plays such a convincingly zombified drunken loser that it's difficult to spend nearly two hours of screen time in his smelly , boozed-out presence . 
yet this ever-reliable swedish actor adds depth and significance to the otherwise plodding and forgettable aberdeen , a sentimental and painfully mundane european drama . 
playwright august strindberg built his career on families and relationships paralyzed by secrets , unable to express their longings until the hour is far too late . 
that's an accurate reflection of what aberdeen strives for , focusing on the pairing of an alcoholic father , tomas ( skarsg ? rd ) and his alienated , openly hostile yuppie daughter , kaisa ( lena headey , gossip ) . 
they haven't spoken in years , and wouldn't even be making the long trip from norway to aberdeen , scotland by automobile if it weren't for kaisa's mother ( charlotte rampling , under the sand ) rotting away in a hospital bed from cancer . 
in a soap opera twist , mother has only a few days to live . 
 ( only in the movies , right ? ) 
too blitzed to even step foot on a plane , tomas hits the open road with kaisa . 
loathing each other all the while , they make periodic stops for tomas to puke on the dashboard or pass out -- whenever he isn't muttering what a rotten kid she turned out to be . 
despite his sloshed viewpoint , tomas recognizes that the apple hasn't fallen very far from the tree . 
kaisa gets nosebleeds from snorting coke , sabotages her personal relationships through indifference , and is unable to restrain her quick and vindictive temper . 
ain't they a pair ? 
unable to find true notes of unspoken familial empathy in the one-note and repetitively bitchy dialogue , screenwriters kristin amundsen and hans petter moland fabricate a series of contrivances to propel events forward -- lost money , roving street hooligans looking for drunks to kick around , nosy cops , and flat tires all figure into the schematic and convenient narrative . 
by the time they reach the hospital , it's time to unveil the secrets from a dark past that are not only simplistic devices that trivialize the father-daughter conflict , they're also the mainstays of many a bad strindberg wannabe . 
this revelation exists purely for its own sake . 
aberdeen doesn't know where else to go . 
weak , unimaginative casting thwarts the pivotal role of kaisa . 
if lena headey were a stronger actress , perhaps aberdeen could have been able to coast on the performances and moody , haunting cinematography ( rendering norway into its own pastoral ghost world -- the reference to a certain superior american indie flick intentional ) . 
headey's too busy acting , using her face and furrowed brow to convey every last twitch of insouciance . 
if she were paying any attention to skarsg ? rd , maybe she'd figure out that doing less can reveal so much more . 
it's worthwhile to compare aberdeen to an earlier film released in 2001 , jonathan nossiter's captivating signs & wonders . 
it's not just because skarsg ? rd and rampling played disturbed parental figures in both films ( they're not bound by ceremonial wedlock in aberdeen ) . 
the differences in the way their characters were presented is significant . 
in aberdeen , rampling is a luminous diva , preening and static in her hospital bed . 
despite skarsg ? rd's solid performance as tomas , his pathetic drunk is never given much of a chance to emote anything besides catatonic sorrow . 
there's genuine ferocity and sexually charged frisson during their understated confrontations in signs & wonders , allowing them to suggest a gray zone of complications that accompany torn romance and years of stifled curiosity . 
nossiter's film thoroughly explores this neurotic territory in addition to delving into the americanization of greece and the use of mysticism as an illusion to deflect pain . 
if signs & wonders sometimes feels overloaded with ideas , at least it's willing to stretch beyond what we've come to expect from traditional drama . 
aberdeen is never half so ambitious , content to sleepwalk through the rhythms and timing of other movies . 
when did character driven stories stop paying attention to the complexities of real life ? 
the depressing answer can be found in lawrence kasdan's trite but occasionally useful grand canyon , where steve martin's hollywood mogul pronounces , "" all of life's riddles are answered in the movies ! "" 
even foreign films are taking that advice to heart . 
"
"-1","plot : a young french boy sees his parents killed before his eyes by tim roth , oops . . . i 
mean , an evil man . 
he vows revenge on that man and is taught the ways of the musketeer by some old dude who used to be one himself ? 
anyway , fourteen years go by and . . . arrgh , well , you know the rest . . . swish-swish-zzzzzzz ! 
critique : this is a pretty bad movie . 
let's see , where should i start ? 
okay , first of all , the story is just plain boring . 
it's not original , is entirely predictable and lacks energy . 
okay , what's next ? 
acting , you say . 
hmmmm , well , the main actor , justin chambers , is basically an uncharismatic version of chris o'donnell but with less range ( think about that ! ) , and mena suvari , is just plain off . 
not as bad as thora birch was in dungeons & dragons , but entirely miscast , with bad deliveries , awful sequences and a piss-poor accent that comes and goes . 
now i'm not sure if this was ms . suvari's fault or the director's , but i've definitely seen her at a much higher level than in this film . 
the only semi-saving grace actor-wise is tim roth as the irrepressible "" bad guy "" , but once again , it's not something that we haven't seen before . . . a 
thousand times . . . by the same guy ! ! 
tim , please . . . for the love of god , beg your agent to ask the marketplace for some modern day "" american roles "" for you as a "" nice guy "" in a romantic comedy or something . 
stretch , dude . . . stretch ! ! 
we all know that you can do much better than this gunk . 
alright , what else was bad in this film ? 
oh yeah , the score ! 
yikes , how's about taking it down a few notches there , fellas ? 
this thing blares in your ear whenever it feels the need to accentuate a certain scene , but actually does little more than annoy . 
i think it's important for the man behind the music to recognize that this film isn't a "" real epic "" by any stretch of the imagination . 
it's a fluffy rehashed cake-walk created by some "" shrewd "" studio heads who decided to take advantage of the whole "" kung-fu "" phenomenon in films , and test it out on an old classic . 
dudes . . . you 
failed all around ! 
 ( keep reading ) 
the editing is also pretty shoddy in this movie , the dialogue banal and stilted and the plot problems . . . plentiful ! 
 ( why does the guy on top of the horse carriage just stand there when his opponent takes forever scampering his way back to the top ? 
why don't they just cut the mouseketeer's rope at the top of the tower , instead of jumping down on their own chords and fighting him while hanging ? 
why doesn't anybody look a day older , when the sequence says "" 14 years later "" ? 
 ( at least . . . change 
your shirt , man ! ) 
keep in mind that i have never strayed away from championing certain movies that are created simply for the sake of a "" fun time "" , but this flick just didn't cut it for me . 
it was boring for stretches , the acting was atrocious at times ( the "" romantic "" scene between suvari and chambers next to the lake reminded me of plays in high school which made you cringe ) , there was little reason to care for anyone and since when were the musketeers fat ? 
i will give the movie this much , and that is that its main reason for being ( its "" raison-d'etre "" , as the french would say ) , its fight sequences , do come through despite the lack of their numbers in the film . 
i was hoping that the movie would be packed with cool stuntwork as promoted in its trailer , but what you see there , are essentially the snippets from the two major ( and cool ) swashbuckling sequences from the film . 
the first comes right at the beginning of the movie , while the other essentially finishes the film off , hanging from the tower and juggling off ladders . 
the ladder sequence itself is a definite keeper but unfortunately the rest of the movie is just regurgitated crap . 
and can anyone please tell me how catherine deneuve got her name placed at the top of this film's credits ? 
hullo ? 
the film is called the musketeer and stars a dude name justin chambers . 
deneuve is barely in this movie ! 
ugh , just another small thing that annoyed me about this trash . 
now say it together , gang : "" all for one , and one for all . . . we 
vow to stay away from it all ! ! "" 
thank me later . 
where's joblo coming from ? 
a knight's tale ( 7/10 ) - american outlaws ( 5/10 ) - crouching tiger , hidden dragon ( 7/10 ) - the matrix ( 8/10 ) - the replacement killers ( 6/10 ) - romeo must die ( 3/10 ) - shanghai noon ( 6/10 ) 
"
"-1","best remembered for his understated performance as dr . hannibal lecter in michael mann's forensics thriller , manhunter , scottish character actor brian cox brings something special to every movie he works on . 
usually playing a bit role in some studio schlock ( he dies halfway through the long kiss goodnight ) , he's only occasionally given something meaty and substantial to do . 
if you want to see some brilliant acting , check out his work as a dogged police inspector opposite frances mcdormand in ken loach's hidden agenda . 
cox plays the role of big john harrigan in the disturbing new indie flick l . i . e . , which lot 47 picked up at sundance when other distributors were scared to budge . 
big john feels the love that dares not speak its name , but he expresses it through seeking out adolescents and bringing them back to his pad . 
what bothered some audience members was the presentation of big john in an oddly empathetic light . 
he's an even-tempered , funny , robust old man who actually listens to the kids' problems ( as opposed to their parents and friends , both caught up in the high-wire act of their own confused lives . ) 
he'll have sex-for-pay with them only after an elaborate courtship , charming them with temptations from the grown-up world . 
l . i . e . stands for long island expressway , which slices through the strip malls and middle-class homes of suburbia . 
filmmaker michael cuesta uses it as a ( pretty transparent ) metaphor of dangerous escape for his 15-year old protagonist , howie ( paul franklin dano ) . 
in his opening voice-over , howie reveals a morbid preoccupation with death on the road , citing the l . i . e . 
highway deaths of filmmaker alan j . pakula , songwriter harry chapin , and his own mother on exit 52 . 
he's both fascinated and disturbed by the l . i . e . , and those feelings are projected onto big john ( who follows howie around in his bright red car , but never makes a move to force the boy to do something he doesn't want to do . 
this makes him much more complex than the usual child molesters seen in movies -- he's a beast , but ashamed of it . ) 
l . i . e . would have worked best as a half-hour short film about howie's ill-advised foray into big john's haven . 
there is unnecessary padding with howie's miserable dad ( bruce altman ) in the hot seat for a white-collar crime , degenerate youngsters who get their kicks from robbing middle-class houses , and some homoerotic shenanigans with wise-ass gary terrio ( billy kay ) , a handsome artful dodger . 
rather than add to the themes of suburban ennui ( not that we needed another movie on that subject ) , these awkward subplots pad out the running time to adequate feature length . 
concurrently , the relationship between howie and big john is evenly paced and exceptionally well acted . 
cox , sporting a baseball cap and a faded marine tattoo , is all bluff and bluster . 
dano is quiet and at first glance seems so withdrawn as to be transparent . 
we're so used to child actors whose dramatic choices are broad and obvious ( calling haley joel ! ) , it's surprising to see one who actually listens throughout any given scene . 
the restraint is admirable . 
but l . i . e . 's screenplay doesn't always give them the best material . 
when howie reads big john a walt whitman poem , the moment feels a bit too precious . 
director michael cuesta lingers on an ecstatic reaction shot of big john , who may as well be hearing glenn gould performing bach's goldberg variations . 
it's too much . 
there are also some obvious dramatic contrivances involving big john's other boy toy ( walter masterson ) , jealous over the newbie . 
this plot thread predictably leads to violence . 
not content to be a haunting , observational portrait of teen alienation in a royally screwed up world ( like terry zwigoff's superb ghost world ) , cuesta lacks the confidence in his own work to end on an ambivalent note . 
it's typical of unimaginative cinema to wrap things up with a bullet , sparing the writers from actually having to come up with a complex , philosophical note . 
in this regard , l . i . e . 
 ( and countless other indie films ) share something in common with blockbuster action films : problems are solved when the obstacle is removed . 
how often does real life work this way ? 
to extend the question : if a movie is striving for realism , do dramatic contrivances destroy the illusion ? 
"
"-1","janeane garofalo in a romantic comedy -- it was a good idea a couple years ago with the truth about cats and dogs but is almost excruciating in the matchmaker . 
this is a by-the-books movie that plods along on a predestined course with no surprises and very few laughs . 
it also jumps on the ever-popular political satire bandwagon and manages to fall flat there , too . 
garofalo plays a campaign aide to a massacusetts senator ( jay o . sanders ) running for reelection . 
denis leary plays the stereotypical strategist with no ethics who decides the only way for the scandal- plagued senator to win is to play up his irish roots and cash in on that boston roman catholic democrat contingent that's made the kennedy family so popular . 
so leary orders garofalo to go to ireland and dig up some relatives to exploit . 
she soon learns why "" easier said than done "" is the mantra of movies like this . 
the matchmaker falls for every cliche of things that can go wrong -- garofalo has to take a tiny plane to ireland , almost misses the bus to town , can't get a hotel room , ends up in the smallest , trashiest one around , has a dog piss on her luggage , and so on . 
then comes what roger ebert calls the "" meet cute . "" 
it happens in every romance : the man and woman have to meet each other for the first time in some unconventional , cinematic way . 
in the matchmaker , it happens when garofalo walks into her hotel bathroom and finds a nude sean ( david o'hara ) in the bathtub , his dog sitting at his side . 
no points for guessing it's the same dog that just made water on her luggage . 
also no points for guessing garofalo hates o'hara on sight . 
that's how it works in movies like these . 
i know from the instant i saw that irishman in the bathtub that she'd hate him for awhile , then succumb to his charms , live happily for a reel or so before allowing some superficial detail to throw the relationship into turmoil , after which they'd reconcile in time for a happy irish tune to play over the end credits . 
i haven't mentioned the movie's twist yet . 
garofalo comes to the small ireland town during the annual matchmaking festival , during which lonely folks from around the county pair off into a future of bliss . 
milo o'shea ( who looks like an irish tom snyder ) is the matchmaker who pops onscreen occasionally to spew his words of wisdom and bring lonely souls together . 
rest assured he'll do all he can to match up garofalo and o'hara . 
oh , and in keeping with the matchmaker's utter predictability , he dies toward the end . 
what the message here ? 
sometimes even the most respectable person of comedic distinction , like garofalo , will sell out with a weak script . 
i was excited to see garofalo and leary in the same movie , but they actually only have two or three scenes together . 
leary stays stateside , for the most part , yelling at garofalo over the phone and generally being an asshole . 
he even undoes himself with the old microphone's still on after he's done giving the speech cliche . 
both of them should have known better . 
"
"-1","and now the high-flying hong kong style of filmmaking has made its way down to the classics , and it isn't pretty . 
this time out the nod to asia goes by way of france in the excruciating bland and lukewarm production of the musketeer , a version of dumas's the three musketeers . 
by bringing in popular asian actor/stunt coordinator xing xing xiong -- whose only prior american attempts at stunt choreography have been the laughable van damme vehicle double team and the dennis rodman cinematic joke simon sez -- our musketeers are thrown into the air to do their fighting . 
the end result is a tepid and dull action/adventure rip-off that stinks of indiana jones and bad asian kung fu . 
the story is so simple my grandmother could have adapted the screenplay . 
d'artagnan ( justin chambers ) is the vengeful son of a slain musketeer . 
he travels to paris to join the royal musketeers and find the man that killed his parents . 
in paris , he meets the cunning cardinal richelieu ( stephen rea ) , who is trying to overthrow the king , and richelieu's man-in-black associate febre ( tim roth ) , the killer of his folks . 
he finds the musketeers in paris disbanded and drunk , so he rounds up aramis ( nick moran ) , athos ( jan gregor kremp ) and porthos ( steven spiers ) to free the musketeer's wrongfully imprisoned leader treville from the king's prison . 
d'artagnan and his new frisky love interest/chambermaid francesca ( mena suvari ) play footsy and coo at each other as the cardinal hunts down the musketeers until finally the queen ( catherine deneuve ) ends up being captured by the menancing febre , forcing the musketeers to regroup , with d'artagnan leading the charge , and save the day . 
director peter hyams ( end of days ) obviously wanted to blend eastern and western filmmaking styles , but here it's a disaster . 
one problem is that , in reality , most eastern films have taken their lead from western ones . 
jet li's high risk is a rip-off of die hard -- not the other way around . 
ironically , there is awfully little swordplay or action in the film at all -- maybe ten minutes of swashbuckling spread over five scenes . 
most asian action films carry the bulk of their production with 20- to 30-minute action sequences , because they know the scenes have to carry the picture . 
the musketeer instead weighs itself down with a predictable and monotonous screenplay by gene quintano ( sudden death ) , horrible acting by stephen rea and tim roth , and the prosaic attempt of justin chambers ( the wedding planner ) to deliver his mousy self as a leader . 
chambers' d'artangnan isn't a musketeer -- he's a mouseketeer ! 
and hyam's use of candles and torches to light the grime and filth of 17th century paris are well-noted , but that's the only standout in an overall flat production . 
"
"-1","a movie like mortal kombat : annihilation works ( and must be reviewed on ) multiple levels . 
first , there's the rampant usage of randian subtext that pervades the entire movie . 
but occasionaly , almost as if making an ironic , self-depreciating remark , the movie tosses in clearly marxist imagery . 
no no . . . 
just kidding . 
had you going there for a moment , didn't i ? 
in all seriousness however , and to be fair to the movie , it * is * necessary to provide two viewpoints : that of a movie watcher unfamiliar ( or only marginally familiar ) with the whole mortal kombat phenomenon , and that of a fan of the first movie and/or a fan of the games . 
the first movie ( mortal kombat ( 1995 ) ) concerned itself with a martial arts tournament that would decide the fate of earth ( and it's 5 billion inhabitants ) . 
the mortals won , and in theory this should have prevented the emperor shao khan from taking over the earth . 
unfortunately , shao khan was a poor loser , and the very final scene in mortal kombat showed him arriving anyway , ready to take over the planet , as our heroes assumed a fighting stance . 
the first movie was extraordinarily entertaining for those ( like myself ) who are fans of the game . 
i'd even go so far as to say that many folks who didn't know about the game probably enjoyed the movie . 
the writers and directors knew the limitations of both their cast and of the basic story itself , and they didn't try to overachieve . 
there were a lot of really cool fight scenes ( with really cool accompanying music ) , intersperesed with some distracting ( but ultimately non-intrusive ) bits of fluff passing itself off as a plot . 
and , as we know , the movie was a smashing success at the box office . 
mortal kombat : annihilation picks up precisely where that movie left off , with some introductory exposition to clue in those who may not have seen the first movie . 
shao khan has decided that he's going to take over the earth * anyways * , and to hell with some silly rule about mortals winning the tournament . 
thereafter follows approximately 85 minutes of film that alternates between being confused , being trite , being silly , and being just plain stupid . 
one gets the general impression that the producers of the movie thought "" hey , that last movie was such a success that we can get more money and make a * real * movie now . "" 
too bad they didn't simply stick with the formula from the first movie . 
i could write volumes about the things that are wrong with this picture , but here are the high points : 
 * the acting is truly bad . 
sandra hess ( playing the sonya blade character ) is particularly execrable , especially in scenes where she tries to convince us that she loved johnny cage ( a character from the first movie who gets greased at the beginning of this movie ) . 
 * in one of the worst pieces of mis-casting i think i've * ever * seen , james remar plays raiden , the god of thunder . 
in the first movie , christopher lambert played raiden and played his character as though he was in on the joke : a french actor playing a japanese thunder god being revered by chinese mystics . 
i generally like it when actors are cast against type ( tim "" tiny "" lister , jr . being cast as the president of the u . s . in the fifth element , for example ) , and remar has always been one of my favorite "" utility "" actors but he's so totally wrong for this part that he doesn't even have the luxury of amused self-awareness . 
 * there are too many characters that are introduced as being potentially important , but then never seen again . 
 * there are a number of completely meaningless story sidetracks , including a muddled scene where liu kang ( robin shou ) seeks out nightwolf ( litefoot ) , has a mystical hallucination , and then wanders off with jade ( irina pantaeva ) . 
for these reasons ( and many others ) , i can only give the movie a 2 . . . 
 . . . unless you're a huge fan of the games and/or the first movie . 
in that case , the following critiques also apply : 
 * sandra hess , while being an even worse actress than bridgette wilson ( who played sonya blade in the first movie ) , is much more convincing as a fighter . 
wilson looked like she was simply mimicing some movements taught to her by the fight choreographer . 
hess looks like she actually knows some martial arts , and puts together a much more believable fight scene . 
 * in the fights , each of the characters does at least * one * thing they do in the game ( and often more ) . 
sonya does her "" kiss of death , "" jax does his "" earthquake , "" liu kang does his "" animality , "" and so on . 
a big bonus for those of us who were looking for similar moves in the first movie and found them only rarely . 
 * there aren't as many fight scenes in this movie as there were in the first , because the folks making the movie mistakenly try to hang a more robust plot in between . 
silly , silly folks . 
and the lamest fight involved two of the women in what turns into a mud-wrestling match . 
lame and so obviously sexist even i ( politically incorrect , for the most part ) noticed and remarked upon it . 
 * the special effects are generally better , except for the final fight scene between the emporer and liu kang in which both perform their "" animalities . "" 
motaro and sheeva are both more convincing and lifelike than goro was in the first movie . 
for folks like myself who loved the first movie and enjoy the games , i give this a 5 . 
you'll probably like it , but not nearly as much as you liked the first one . 
"
"-1","she was the femme in "" la femme nikita . "" 
he was the baldwin in "" backdraft , "" "" sliver , "" and "" fair game "" ( with cindy crawford ) . 
together , anne parillaud and william baldwin conspire to make "" shattered image "" the biggest piece of hooey since the stallone/stone "" thriller "" "" the specialist . "" 
the film poses the question "" what if the life you're living now is really a dream , and your dreams reality ? "" 
it's either about a woman who's haunted by a recurring ( and recurring and recurring ) nightmare that she's a hired assassin , or it's about a hired assassin who's haunted by a recurring ( and recurring and recurring ) nightmare that she's honeymooning with william baldwin in jamaica . 
it doesn't much matter and believe me by the time "" shattered image "" runs its painful and pedestrian course you won't care . 
these two lives , with parillaud looking like siouxsie sioux with a black wig , black emotionless eyes , and black leather clothing in the seattle-based assassin scenes , and moping around like karen carpenter in the jamaica scenes , play out endlessly throughout the film and the result is it's now * twice * as boring as it might have been . 
it's not that complicated plots can't be entertaining . 
of course it helps if you have interesting characters , crisp dialogue , and a modicum of style . 
 "" shattered image "" isn't complex , it's just stupid . 
and boring . 
parillaud and baldwin , who aren't exactly shakespearean material to begin with , are saddled with such leaden dialogue that their characters have zero chance of breaking free of their cardboard confines . 
lines like : 
 "" you don't beg , you insist . 
i like that in a woman . "" 
that's parillaud's character talking . . . 
to her cat ! 
and : 
 "" you're not the reason i couldn't care less about you . "" 
huh ? 
and this wonderful bathroom interchange early in the film : 
 "" if you give me a couple of minutes you know i'll charm the pants off you . "" 
 "" i don't have that kind of time . "" 
talking of pants , parillaud has her clothes off faster than you can say "" point of no return . "" 
we have come to expect this from billy baldwin , but it might have been nice to have learned something about their characters first . 
but there's nothing to learn . 
karen is as interesting as a cereal box , a someone's-out-to-get-me crybaby who imagines the voice at the other end of the phone , the stranger who sends her flowers , maybe even her husband himself , is her would-be killer . 
siouxsie is the chromium cool , tough-as-nails crack killing machine who shoots out a couple of mirrors in order to justify the film's meaningless stock title . 
baldwin seems more interested in parillaud's nest egg ( so that he can pave paradise and put up a parking lot ) than he does in her . 
each time graham greene shows up he gets killed . 
barbet schroeder ( "" reversal of fortune "" ) co-produced and should be ashamed of himself . 
every now and again it's fun to watch a really bad movie . 
and every now and again , as "" shattered image "" makes agonizingly clear , it isn't . 
"
"-1","john carpenter makes b-movies . 
always has ( "" halloween , "" "" escape from new york , "" "" the thing "" ) and , by the looks of it ( "" they live , "" "" escape from l . a . , "" "" vampires "" ) , always will . 
carpenter's latest horror opus with a science fiction bent ( or science fiction outing with a schlock horror bent ) is the aptly-titled "" john carpenter's ghosts of mars "" ( in case , i suppose , you went looking for someone else's "" ghosts of mars "" ) . 
like all those films prefixed by the very possessive "" john carpenter's , "" "" ghosts of mars "" is an unashamed b-movie punctuated by a b-movie plot , b-movie actors , and b-movie special effects . 
in category one , above , we have a storyline that borders on idiotic ( and , at times , chaotic ) . 
dormant martians ( i . e . , swirling red gases ) awakened by meddling humans possess the souls of hapless mining colonists rendering them testy marilyn manson lookalikes . 
all this explained ( in flashback ) to some grand pooh-bah counsel by martian police official melanie ballard ( natasha henstridge , from the sub- "" species "" films ) , the only returnee on a silly-looking train . 
officer ballard went in to bring back incarcerated felon james "" desolation "" williams ; what she found was not a pretty picture . 
in the second category we have ms . henstridge , her blonde hair pulled back tightly and awkwardly into a ponytail , ice cube ( as the appropriately-named "" desolation "" ) , pam grier ( briefly , oddly--who wanted to work with whom i wonder ? ) , and a host of extras all assuming that the story and special effects were going to carry this film and therefore they didn't need to try too hard . 
in category number three we have , in addition to those swirling red gases and the silly-looking train , a couple of bird's-eye-view shots of a sprawling martian metropolis ( reddish also ) . 
state-of-the-art special effects have never been a carpenter trademark and once again the writer/director ( who seems to have no problem finding work , however ) doesn't waste any of the film's budget in that department . 
 "" ghosts of mars "" is lock , laughing stock , and barrel all your standard carpenter fare : dingy interiors , cluttered exteriors , inane dialogue , lots of leather , scarred , crazed-looking aliens , and lots and lots of weaponry . 
the film often and always explodes into warfare without warning--spontaneously , stupidly . 
carpenter might like to think he's made a western here but it's a western without any real heroes , villains , or border conflicts . 
it's just the shootouts minus a hissing snake plissken . 
i never thought i'd miss the guy but i do . 
it's not * all * the same , however . 
dubbed the "" one-note wonder "" for his minimalist music soundtracks , carpenter seems to have graduated from simplistic ( yet effective ) scoring by highlighting his action with loud , screeching guitar work . 
fortunately this drowns out a lot of the dialogue . 
the final exchange between henstridge and , er , cube though is both audible * and * priceless . 
mars has proven an infertile breeding ground for hollywood in the last year or so , what with the stillborn "" mission to mars "" and "" red planet "" ( with val kilmer ) . 
 "" ghosts of mars "" sadly adds to those disappointing returns ( in its opening weekend it was overshadowed by a bunch of sequels , among them "" american pie 2 "" and "" rush hour 2 "" ) . 
the irony is that the mars in carpenter's film feels sadly absent . 
there are occasional references to the red planet , of course , but the film might as well have been set in perth amboys than on earth's closest neighbor . 
two things keep "" john carpenter's ghosts of mars "" from getting a huge slap upside the head . 
1 . 
henstridge keeps her top on ( miraculously ) , and 2 . the film doesn't pretend to be anything it's not . 
what that means , however , is that fans of superior , intelligent , grade a sci-fi/horror are singularly out of luck . 
"
"-1","i'm really starting to wonder about alicia silverstone . 
sure , she is one of the most beautiful creatures on god's green earth ( second only to that movie critic at large guy ) , but when it comes to choosing what movies she stars in , she always strikes out . 
the crush was a slow-moving , predictable piece of fluff . 
hideaway was a horrific novel adaptation alicia had only a minor role in . 
clueless was an annoying , unfunny waste of time . 
and people have e-mailed me too , saying clueless is a good movie and that i'm the only one who doesn't like it . 
one girl said if i'd seen the movie with "" an open mind , "" i would have enjoyed it . 
nothing could be further from the truth . 
i went into the theater expecting to love the movie . 
the preview looked good and of course i'm crazymadinlove with alicia , but the movie was a bunch of bad jokes coming from whiny , unlikable characters . 
almost everyone i saw the movie with felt the same way . 
when we were walking out of the theater , one guy ( and it wasn't me ) yelled out , "" that was the worst f$&#in' movie i've ever seen "" and the rest of us had to laugh in agreement . 
so last night i walked into the video store and saw alicia's pretty face on the cover of some made-for-video thriller called the babysitter . 
i knew it would be bad but some inner compulsion i'll probably never understand made me rent it anyway . 
what i got was 90 minutes of regret--the worst alicia silverstone movie ever . 
and you already know from the last paragraph what the competition is like . 
where to begin in criticizing this movie ? 
the plot is a thin shred that moves slower than a glacier , the writing could have been done ( and for all we know it was ) by a ten year old , alicia is the star and she's still wasted in a movie that has no appeal whatsoever . 
there is zero humor , zero suspense , zero drama and zero action , until the last ten minutes , when the story is needlessly and pointlessly concluded with a violent sequence . 
zero plus zero plus zero plus zero equals zero . 
so why does this movie get one star out of me ? 
well , alicia spends twenty minutes of the movie in the bathtub . 
and if it wasn't bubble bath , the babysitter would have instantly joined the ranks of our other four- star features , but you settle for what you can get . 
alicia plays a babysitter who's spending friday night looking after two kids whose parents are out getting drunk at a cocktail party . 
and of course anyone as beautiful as alicia automatically spends their friday nights at home ( at least that movie critic at large guy does ) . 
as the movie trods along , we discover she's not only the mostly-silent star of the movie but also the object of every male character's fantasies ( and probably every male viewer's too ) . 
the drunken father thinks she's just the thing to recapture his lost youth , her boyfriend lets his imagination run wild while spying on alicia from outside , even the prepubescent boy looks in on alicia through the bathroom keyhole while she's taking her bubble bath . 
they even throw in the middle aged wife's fantasies about a male counterpart at the party . 
not that any of us asked or ever even thought about seeing this 200+ pound woman in a black silk teddy . 
at least none of the sex fanatasies ever leave the realm of the pg-rated . 
in fact , i could imagine the babysitter becoming a cinemax late-night staple if not for the fact that there's absolutely no nudity in it . 
so you can't call it a sex flick . 
i've already pointed out that it can't fall under drama , comedy , thriller or action , so what do you classify the babysitter as ? 
bad . 
"
"-1","so what do you get when you mix together plot elements from various successful sci-fi films such as close encounters of the third kind , 2001 : a space odyssey , apollo 13 and contact ? 
well , whatever it is , you'd sure as hell hope that it would be a thousand times better than this shoddy attempt at such a melange , considering the disastrous results we're left with here . 
this is a film that takes a little bit of everything , but ultimately adds up to a lot of nothing ! 
it's like i said . . . this 
movie sucks . 
plot : a rescue crew of astronauts is sent down to mars in the year 2020 , after an unknown energy force leads to a loss of contact with the previous gang of space aviators to visit the red planet . 
critique : extremely underwhelming is the best way to describe this movie . 
uneven , would be another . 
the trailer for this movie actually showed some promise , the buzz around it had been so-so , and even the film itself starts off with a decent first twenty minutes , all leading you to believe that it's actually going to go "" somewhere "" . 
but it isn't long before the entire movie downshifts into neutral , features more space walks than anything interesting on the cherry-colored planet , tries too hard to get us into the "" pain "" of some its characters and unsuccessfully tosses some romance into the mix . 
in a sci-fi movie ? 
well , i don't know , much of it just seemed like a bunch of nerdies talking techie jargon for about an hour and a half , only to figure out some big secret in the end , a secret which practically had me yawning with excitement . 
ultimately , this is a movie that starts off with a decent premise , joins the crew in their "" misadventures in space "" for the main crux of its journey , and eventually settles down for one of the most anti-climactic endings this side of contact . 
mind you , if you enjoyed that film's shrug-of-the-shoulders ending , you might just enjoy this frivolous ditty as well . 
of course , i don't remember contact having such obvious and painfully distracting computer generated effects at its end of story . 
ugh . 
what a friggin' mess . 
films like this generally get me wondering about the brass in hollywood again . 
didn't anybody recognize the crappiness in this script ? 
didn't they read the bad dialogue , the cheezy lines , the obvious derivative nature of the work ( mind you , with a director like depalma at the helm , that ain't saying much ! ) . 
of course , you can't really blame the brass for the inclusion of jerry o'connell in this fine crew of thespians . 
'nuff said . 
neither can you blame them for depalma cranking up the juice on the film's musical score during the last fifteen minutes , presumably in order to wake the audience up ( okay , we get it brian , this scene is supposed to be powerful . . . wow . . . yawn . . . my 
ears hurt ! ) . 
so is anything salvageable in this movie ? 
sure . 
gary sinise does another great job , as does cheadle , the film doesn't completely bore you as much as it just moves along slowly without anything really interesting happening , and yes , the "" sand-twister "" effect that you see in the commercial is well done . 
other than that ? 
i guess i could say that i admire how filmmakers have become so much more devious in their product placement strategies . . . oops , 
did i say "" admire "" , i meant "" am disgusted "" ! 
all in all , this movie delivers very little in actual substance , offers two-bit dialogue masked in a lot of sci-fi mumbo-jumbo , pretends to be deep when really it's just sappy , and eventually just settles into an ending which , other than presenting us with a pathetic computer graphic as a part of the story , gives us little more to think about than how we might be able to get our money back for sitting through this rehashed dreck . 
go see the ninth gate . . . now 
there's a great movie ! 
and on a personal note , i think it's time for depalma to stop worrying so much about his proverbial 12-minute uninterrupted film sequences , and start worrying more about how crappy his movies are getting . 
"
"-1","the law of crowd pleasing romantic movies states that the two leads must end up together by film's end . 
if you're not familiar with this law , then maybe you've seen the trailer for this film which shows that the two leads are together by film's end . 
now if you're a regular reader of mine , you've heard me say this countless times : you know how drive me crazy is going to end , but is the journey to get to that ending worth it ? 
no , it definitely is not . 
melissa joan hart ( from abc's "" sabrina , the teenage witch "" ) likes a hunky stud on the basketball team . 
adrien grenier is her grungy neighbor who's just broken up with his activist girlfriend . 
apparently he wants to make his ex-girlfriend jealous enough to take him back , and she wants someone to take her to the big year end dance . 
so the two pretend to date for some reason , but only after hart gives grenier a bath to turn him into a hunky stud . 
will grenier like his new popularity and turn on his friends ? 
will this crazy scheme work ? 
do i care ? 
the teen comedy resurgence of late has been surprisingly good in terms of comedy . 
what makes movies like can't hardly wait and 10 things i hate about you work ( and to a lesser extent , she's all that and never been kissed ) is because the writers of those films seem to realize that high school is a joke and write their scripts accordingly . 
i don't know what the writer's intention was with drive me crazy . 
there was some smart comedy in those films to make the obvious endings worth getting to . 
here there's nothing . . . 
just teens whining about who's going to take them to the big dance . 
do me a favor kids , go get a job or something . . . 
just shut the hell up . 
in all honesty , the best part of this film is the end credits . 
now normally when i say that it's followed with the joke "" . . . because the movie is finally over . "" 
in this case though the end credits really are the most entertaining part of the film . 
after the obligatory second playing of britney spears' titular song , there's a quick commercial jingle for a burger joint the kids in the film hang out in and a brief rendition of the school song for their high school . 
nothing great , but more entertaining than anything in the 90 minutes which preceded them . 
sci-fi fans take note : there are brief appearances from stephen collins ( star trek : the motion picture ) and faye grant ( the tv miniseries "" v "" and "" v : the final battle "" ) . 
[pg-13] 
"
"-1","mighty joe young blunders about for nearly twenty minutes before we actually get to see a great big gorilla . 
his entrance , however , is a grand one : out from the trees he leaps , gargantuan and imposing , sporting hands big enough to crush a volkswagen bug , and a pair of feet much larger than any pro basketball player will ever have . 
joe bellows at the poachers before him , angry that they would like to kill him and sell him for millions of dollars . 
during this scene , i turned to my friend and said , "" wow . 
that's some ape . "" 
joe is quite a gorilla -- a big , digital gorilla . 
he runs around the fields , chasing cars and people . 
he picks things up and stares at them pensively . 
he breaks things on accident , because he's just too big to avoid clumsiness . 
joe , as a special effect , is an image that might hold your interest for five minutes . 
as a character , he doesn't quite register . 
and the story he's been put in is as limp as they come . 
the words "" family entertainment "" have never been a stamp of quality , but might joe young is just a silly special effects movie pretending to have a heart . 
the picture is a remake of the 1949 film . 
it's mostly just about the big gorilla , but , strictly as a formality , the movie also has a few human characters . 
the main one is jill young ( poor charlize theron , forced to waste her talent ) , a lover of gorillas . 
as a child , she witnessed a group of poachers murder her mother ; now , she lives in the jungle to protect the wildlife . 
specifically , she's out to protect joe , a giant gorilla who has been her friend since her childhood . 
soon , zoologist gregg o'hara ( bill paxton ) discovers joe ; he quickly realizes that poachers want to get joe and sell him to a big game hunter named strasser ( rade sherbedgia ) , who just happens to be the same guy who killed jill's mother . 
so , in an effort to save joe , jill and gregg take the big gorilla to a preserve , where it is instantly clear that he is not safe from poachers . 
in addition , the space is way too small for him ( after all , he is a really big gorilla ) . 
and , to add to the complications , strasser shows up under a benevolent pretext ( he tells jill that he has a preserve big enough for joe ) , and joe recognizes strasser as the guy who killed jill's mother . 
jill , of course , doesn't recognize strasser , even though he did kill her mother . 
this is just one of the many examples of stupidity in mighty joe young , a film that fulfills every stereotype that comes with a special effects film . 
the movie isn't really offensive -- it has some competent actors , a few nifty sets , and a lot of scenes with a big , digitized gorilla . 
but the story is really dumb , there aren't any characters , and the film isn't satisfying on any level beyond its visuals . 
the movie also has bad dialogue . 
if a critic says that a film has bad dialogue , it's only fair to quote some of it , but most of the words spoken in this picture are phrases like "" joe isn't happy ! "" 
and "" joe isn't safe here ! "" 
 "" we need to get joe out of here ! "" 
 "" joe is way too big for that cage ! "" 
i don't know if these phrases are word for word , but they're close . 
as i said , the characters here are only present as a formality : they do little more than state the obvious ( of * course * joe is too big for that cage ) . 
paxton and theron are talented performers who deserve to work on a script that provides characters for them . 
sadly , mighty joe young wastes them both . 
there are a few clever moments ( although none of them are surfacing in my memory at the moment ) , and , as i said , the digital effects held my attention for at least five minutes . 
it's certainly not a bad film for kids ; i doubt joe will give them nightmares . 
but adults in the audience aren't likely to find much of anything interesting about the big gorilla . 
a big gorilla is only interesting for a little while ; after that , something needs to be done with the big gorilla . 
nobody ever figures out what to do with the big gorilla . 
"
"-1"," "" spawn "" features good guys , bad guys , lots of fighting , bloody violence , a leather-clad machine gun chick , gooey , self-healing bullet holes , scatological humor and a man-eating monster . 
it not only appears to have been tailor made for a swarm of 12- and 13-year-old boys , it appears to have been made by them . 
in a classic example of telling and not showing , "" spawn "" opens with a truckload of mumbo jumbo about forces of darkness , forces of light and how "" men are the ones who create evil on earth . "" 
so much for a message . 
the movie then lurches forward into the plight of al simmons ( michael jai white ) , a government assassin/operative who is murdered by diabolical boss jason wynn ( martin sheen , who plays all of his scenes like an oscar clip ) while on a top secret mission in a north korean biological weapons plant . 
simmons goes to hell and back , after making a deal with satan himself -- if he agrees to command the devil's army to overtake the world , he'll be allowed to return to earth to see his wife wanda ( underused theresa randle ) and little girl cyan ( sydni beaudoin ) . 
of course , seeing as how five years has passed , wanda has fallen for -- and married -- simmons' partner ( d . b . 
sweeney ) . 
his , uh , shoulder to cry on comes in the form of clown ( john leguizamo ) , a disgustingly disproportioned minion of satan's . 
clown manipulates simmons , now in superhuman spawn form , into a stand off with wynn . 
wynn , who thinks he is in league with the double-dealing clown , recognizes spawn as a threat and undergoes an operation where a bomb is placed on his heart -- when it stops beating , major cities around the world will detonate , causing the leak of a disease that "" makes the ebola virus look like a skin rash . "" 
phew . got all that ? 
it would be easy to dismiss "" spawn "" as just another one of those heavy-on-fx , short-on-substance action pics , but it doesn't even work on that level . 
the computer-generated sequences are often and plenty , and the problem is that they look too computer-generated . 
the several scenes set in hell present a devil that looks and acts like a video game graphic -- with the movie's healthy budget you'd think they could have afforded to make his mouth move when he talks . 
other elements of the movie are so-so ; spawn's enormous red , flowing cape is a wonderful sight , but it's too obvious when he's being played by a costumed actor or an image . 
in movies like "" contact , "" the special effects serve the story . 
in "" spawn , "" they are the story . 
and spawn himself isn't even an interesting character . 
the film's reliance on razzle-dazzle would be acceptable if we were given somebody to root for , but both simmons and his funky alter-ego are completely underdeveloped . 
what we need is a batman , a luke skywalker . 
even watching the adventures of kleenex man would be more interesting than spawn . 
poor leguizamo . 
he starred in february's "" the pest , "" a movie that i still think is the year's worst so far , although this one does give it a run for its money . 
as clown , he overacts to the extreme , never missing an opportunity for a poor-taste punchline . 
leguizamo farts green mist , munches a pizza slice covered with maggots and even dons a mini-skirt and performs a cheerleader routine , all before turning into a giant grey demon . 
the guy was brilliant in "" to wong foo , thanks for everything ! 
julie newmar . "" 
what is he doing wasting his talent in this and "" the pest "" ? 
i'm one of the few people that liked "" batman & robin , "" this summer's other big-budget comic book film . 
yet after catching this movie and making the inevitable comparison , i can only hope people will change their minds and think of "" batman "" as the superior adaptation . 
there's a compelling story somewhere in "" spawn "" -- including strong religious overtones and the debut of the first african-american superhero ever -- but it's just not found anywhere near here . 
as it is , "" spawn "" is just awful -- it stinks worse than a dead trout . 
"
"-1"," "" in dreams "" might keep you awake at night , but not because of its creepy imagery , bizarre visual style or story about a clairvoyant madman who lures young girls to their untimely deaths . 
no , the source of potential sleeplessness here lies within the movie's brutally squandered potential , the least of which is an admittedly nifty premise - even by tired serial killer genre standards . 
the big letdown , however , comes upon the realization that this 100-minute head-scratcher was masterminded by neil jordan , the man behind "" the crying game . "" 
he's no stranger to cinematic weirdness , but this nutty nonsense really pushes the envelope . 
things start out strong enough , with cinematographer darius khondji's stunning camera work guiding viewers into the bowels of a underwater ghost town during a creepy prologue that establishes a notably grim tone right off the bat . 
this eerie opulence remains a dazzling display of showmanship throughout the entire film - there's even something macabre about the way khondji photographs a rustic , seemingly innocent new england autumn - but if there ever was a film that didn't deserve so good a polish , it's this one . 
don't knock the look , but say what you will about the foolish plot , underdeveloped characters and flat dialogue . 
annette bening , another asset "" in dreams "" shouldn't be so lucky to boast , gives an increasingly effective performance in a role that doesn't do much for her in return . 
she plays claire cooper , a massachusetts children's book illustrator who's plagued by terrifying nightmares involving kidnaped children . 
she thinks these visions are a warning knell for horrible , soon-to-be-committed crimes , but neither her ho-hum husband ( aidan quinn ) nor the ho-hummer police can muster up the sense to take her seriously . 
this being a thriller , we know that she is , in fact , on the money , and it's a credit to bening's acting that she delves equally into claire's madness and compassion . 
but as soon as a body turns up and claire has given the authorities reason enough to believe her claims , "" in dreams "" trades in its nifty supernatural chills for a long series of allegedly spooky jolts that simply refuse to make sense . 
scenes pile up like a car wreck with little or no explanation or exposition . 
subplots appear and disappear . 
when claire finally comes face-to-face with our evil murderer ( robert downey jr . ) , it turns out his name is vivian , he's clairvoyant and he's got some major issues with mama , a la norman bates . 
 "" in dreams "" reaches its absurdist zenith here , and the climax drags with mumbled revelations and laughable twists . 
some questions , then : what's with the garbage disposal retching applesauce ? 
are the drawings on the wall blood or paint ? 
who cranked up the andrews sisters on the cd player and caused the swing to move on its own ? 
what about the computer ? 
does vivian possess the gift of telekinesis in addition to his other powers ? 
why would he continually endanger claire if she was necessary for his ultimate plan ? 
is the woman in australia integral to anything ? 
and the aforementioned flooded city - what function does that _really_ serve ? 
sigh . 
at least in my own dreams , i can imagine a better movie where certain talent didn't go to waste . 
"
"-1"," "" knock off "" is exactly that : a cheap knock off of an action movie . 
it's also the worst movie i have seen thus far this year . 
i figured it would be at least a couple of months before i saw the worst film of 1998 , but alas , it has already been found . 
jean-claude van damme stars as ( i think ) a designer jeans executive who discovers his half-brother has been supplying him with cheaper goods . 
rob schneider plays van damme's partner , and rochon plays . . . 
actually , i have no idea who rochon was supposed to be . 
she just sort of popped up halfway through without an explanation as to why she was there . 
many things are not explained in this film , but i do know that for some bizarre reason , van damme seemed to be doing a jackie chan impression throughout the flick . 
where chan comes off as endearing in his "" normal guy "" character seen in many of his films , van damme just comes off as a wimp . 
we're never given any clear explanation as to the basis for many of his actions . 
to be more clear : i did not even know who he was supposed to be until about an hour into the movie , and even then , it was not made too clear . 
the film has been directed in the style of some strange film experiment gone horribly wrong . 
tsui hark ( who directed van damme's last movie , the bad , but not nearly as bad as this , "" double team "" ) never lets the camera rest for a second , and that's no exaggeration . 
we are even treated to a five second shot from the point of view of van damme's foot entering a shoe . 
fabulous ! 
seriously , though , i have no problem with directors who want to play around with film conventions , as long as they don't get carried away . 
for example , look at sam raimi . 
 "" army of darkness "" , one of his best movies , features some of the most inventive camera work i have ever seen , but raimi never lets the special effects get in the way of story . 
that's a concept that tsui can't seem to grasp . 
the special effects and outrageous camera angles * rule * "" knock off "" to the point where the audience doesn't have a clue as to what's happening any more . 
another problem with the film is that it looks cheap . 
the film stock used is of such low caliber that i thought i was watching one of those chinese films shown really late at night . 
and for some inexplicable reason , everyone's voice seems to have been dubbed . 
even the stars . 
and even the special effects , seemingly the only aspect of the film the director actually cared about , are inconsistent . 
for example , there is a scene in which van damme drives a car out of a window . 
the car slams into the ground , and the left wheel is completely destroyed . 
seconds later , the car drives off at full speed . 
hey , i have no problem suspending my disbelief in an action movie , but a line must be drawn somewhere . 
finally , the acting . 
nobody gives a good performance in this film . 
van damme , an actor i usually like , is way off the mark playing "" everyman "" . 
and schneider , here to provide comic relief i assume , is totally unfunny and over acts his way through every scene . 
even the usually solid paul sorvino gives a terribly over-the-top performance as . . . 
once again , i have no idea who he was supposed to be . 
in case i haven't yet made it clear enough , "" knock off "" is the worst movie of van damme's career and possibly the worst movie of the decade . 
and it's not even one of those movies that's so bad it's funny . 
it's too inept to be funny . 
there are no redeeming factors in "" knock off "" and i seriously hope that every print of this film is burned to a crisp and that somehow my memory of watching the film can be erased . 
"
"-1"," "" snake eyes "" is the most aggravating kind of movie : the kind that shows so much potential then becomes unbelievably disappointing . 
it's not just because this is a brian depalma film , and since he's a great director and one who's films are always greeted with at least some fanfare . 
and it's not even because this was a film starring nicolas cage and since he gives a brauvara performance , this film is hardly worth his talents . 
it's worse than that . 
it's aggravating for the sole reason that its story could be so much more , could be totally intelligent , and it opens up with absolutely no subtlety that it will be handled complexly and intensely . . . then at one point in the movie makes on wrong turn that leads it to the hall of fame of half-assedness . 
or more deservedly , the hall of fame of the eighth-assedness . 
in certain circles , "" snake eyes "" was being advertised as a kind of modern day version of kurosawa's classic "" rashomon , "" where a crime is told from the four different ( and i mean different ) perspectives , and it looks as though it may actually be just like this with the opening , which , i might add , is superb . 
in one very very very long steadicam shot , we meet the protagonist , crooked atlantic city detective , rick santoro ( cage ) , and follow him before a boxing match as he talks on his cell phone with his wife , interupts a pay-per-view event on tv , chases down a gambler , enters the arena all pumped up for the fight , sits down and talks with his bud , kevin dunne ( gary sinise , who's character should not be confused with that of actor kevin dunn , who's also in this ) , and watches as it happens . 
there's a big name in the crowd , and that's the secretary of defense , charles kirkland ( joel fabiani ) , who's sitting behind rick , and who gets shot a second after the heavyweight champion , lincoln tyler ( stan shaw ) , is knocked out . 
this all happens in the opening shot , and it creates so many red herrings and possibilities of what happened that it opens this scene up for close examination and total deconstruction . 
what really happened , this film asks , and it sets this film up extremely well for when rick begins to question people and get different perspectives on the scene . . . and 
discovers there's a very good possibility it was a conspiracy . 
as we follow rick trying to learn of more information , we also meet a woman who was talking to kirkland before he was shot ( carla gugino ) , and who flees the scene in a panic , and tries to hide from the cops in the arena and the adjacent casino/hotel since the cops have blocked off the doors so they can get witness' takes on what happened . 
this is all going pretty fine and dandy , and it's extremely interesting to watch . . . then 
it takes one wrong step . 
we follow the wrong character , and we learn of the answer to the mystery too early on , and way before rick can find it out . 
but that's not the worst part of it : it's that it's the one person you didn't think it would be because he was too obviously supposed to be the red herring , the one you didn't think did it because it would be stupid and cliched of that person to be behind it . 
it only gets worse : the film turns into a chase film about half way through the film , and since we already know what happened , we can't rely on rick's investigation to be all that interesting . 
it's as if the film ran out of the guts to be really complex and original about a third of the way in , and decided to just fall back on an easy way out , and that just happens to mean that it has to become less and less credible . 
events become more and more proposterous , and by the end , the film has decided to rely on the worst offender in mysteries like this : the deux ex machina . 
that's where some outside intereference brings the film to a sudden conclusion and makes everything okay . 
this time , it's a hurricane , an out-of-control police car , and a big round ball that adorned the arena . 
what went wrong ? 
depalma and the screenwriter , david koepp , are extremely credible people in their respective fields , and have been known for bringing life and complexity to mysteries such as this . 
depalma , who idolizes hitchcock to death , has done many a film like this , such as his masterpiece , "" blow out , "" where a movie soundman uses movie elements to uncover a conspiracy piece by piece . 
but granted , depalma at least makes it intriguing to watch , what with his over-the-top shot set-ups , notably the beginning and a sequence where the camera pans over top of a bunch of rooms in the hotel , forgetting anything about boundaries . 
at least his direction makes up partly for it . 
then there's koepp , who showed such great ability at making a character's flaws come to life like he did in depalma's earlier "" carlito's way , "" a film that dove right into the life and past of its character and examined him extremely well . 
he can write a flawed character , but his rick santoro seems to be just a half-assed effort . 
he's flawed , and we can see redemption if the story wasn't so formulaic . 
a scene towards the end where he has to make a fatal decision is cheapened by the fact that his answer has no emotional buildup . 
he may as well have said the opposite of what he says ; it would have at least gone with what the character was like . 
this is the most disappointing kind of film because it promises intelligence and complexity , because it promises disection of a flawed character and perhaps even redemption , then pulls the rug from under us just as we were about to be convinced it would be able to go all the way . 
as i was watching the first half hour , i couldn't wait to see how the mystery would be unearthed , how many different perspectives he'd be given , and perhaps he'd have to make a choice between who's he has to believe . 
now there's a film . 
unfortunately , the film has two major deux ex machinas : one in the disasterous ending ; the other , about a half hour in when the film goes into autopilot and becomes a stale and recycled piece of crap we've seen all too much before , but never from someone like depalma . 
"
"-1","forgive the fevered criticism but the fervor of the crucible infects . 
set in 1692 at salem , massachusetts , the crucible opens with a group of teenage girls passionately singing and dancing around a boiling cauldron in the middle of a forest under the glow of a full moon . 
they beckon the names of men as the targets of their love spells . 
then one of the girls lets her hair down and sheds her clothes . 
not to be outdone in her quest to regain the attention of john proctor ( daniel day lewis ) , abigail ( winona ryder ) suddenly seizes a chicken , beats it against the ground and smears her face and lips with the fresh blood . 
taking even adolescent hormone surges into account , surely this chicken-bashing bit is a bit excessive , especially for prim puritan sensibilities ? 
surely to the puritan eye this is as close to a coven of witches as it gets ? 
the crucible errs from the beginning and arthur miller's name should be summoned for blame here for the addition of the above scene to his screen adaptation of his play . 
this is far from a harmless event , a bad start to an already shaky morality tale . 
the play describes the film's opening scene during tense exchanges that makes one wonder about the veracity of both accusation and reply , and this adds to the play's charged atmosphere . 
in the film , the opening scene becomes an unintentional pandora's box . 
not only is credulity stretched but abigail's obsession is unfortunately spotlighted . 
it positions the crucible more as a cautionary fable about obsessive and malevolent women than against witch hunts ; it will bring back the memory of a rabbit boiling away in a pot . 
not surprisingly , the nighttime forest frenzy does not go unnoticed and when two girls fail to wake the following morning , witches are invoked by those eager to blame . 
when the girls are questioned , their confession of guilt is accompanied with an announcement of their return to god and they are thereafter converted to immaculate witnesses , led lustfully by abigail . 
with alarming synchronicity our hormonally-advantaged girls zealously gesture and point accusing fingers at innocents , constant reminders that abigail's passion sets all this into inexorable motion . 
abigail seizes on this opportunity to rid herself of her rival for john proctor's love , his wife elizabeth ( joan allen ) , by including her among those accused of witchcraft . 
appropriately narrow-waisted and equipped with a distractingly white smile ( watch his teeth deteriorate much too quickly to a murky yellow ) , day lewis plays the dashing moral hero with an over-earnestness that longs to be watched . 
director nicholas hytner is guilty of encouraging day lewis' foaming-mouth fervour with shots where we stare up at proctor as if he was mounted on a pedestal for our admiration . 
otherwise , hytner's direction is unremarkable . 
ryder's performance as abigail is as consistent as her mood swings . 
her fits of frenzy are energetic enough but the quieter moments are less successful . 
abigail supposedly revels in her newfound power , but ryder fails at being convincingly haughty although there is much haughtiness to spare here . 
paul scofield is fine as the overzealous judge danforth , but the incessant moral posturings of all the characters along with the recurrent histrionics of the young girls pricks at the nerves . 
probably because she is the only refuge of restraint amidst all the huffing and puffing , allen's elizabeth comes out as the most sympathetic character . 
a scene near the end featuring a private conversation between the imprisoned elizabeth and john is undeniably powerful because for once we are given a reprieve from the moral bantering and the human consequences are revealed . 
unfortunately , when john's audience again increases to more than one his urge to pontificate returns and the human urgency of his situation is lost . 
it is clear that miller meant well but i do wish he did it with more delicacy and fewer diversions . 
his screenplay is an imperfect creature with the distractions coming out as loud as the message . 
the result is a clumsy muddle - i felt like the chicken from the opening scene , head ceaselessly banged with piousness too heavy-handed to be wholly believable . 
when the gallows beckoned , it was sweet release indeed . 
far from bewitching , the crucible tests the patience . 
"
"-1","one might expect a cathartic viewing experience walking into a new jean-luc godard film . 
after all , he was a founding member of the highly influential french new wave . 
he is also an esteemed film critic , lending intelligence and historical perspective to us in much of his writing . 
however , his latest creation , in praise of love , is possibly the most exasperating film experience of the year . 
the abstract concept on which the film is based had merit , to dissect love into the following four categories : meeting , physical passion , quarrels , and reconciliation . 
these four universal truths would be revealed through three different couples : young , adult , and elderly . 
it is edgar's ( bruno putzulu ) self-appointed task to capture these moments after a recent breakup , to define a central idea : "" it's only when things are over that they make sense . "" 
whether this project will end up a play , film , or opera remains undecided . 
the thesis is simple enough that , if played right , it could really hold sympathetic value for anyone . 
instead what ensues is an hour and a half of repetitive vignettes , the next scene no more engaging than the last . 
only once does any character utter something worthwhile , but by the time it happens you're so thoroughly bored you can easily miss it . 
but don't fret , it will surface again . 
you could easily sleep through whole sections of the film ( as some fellow critics did ) and wake up in a scene exactly like the one you nodded off in , not having missed anything worthwhile . 
but you hold hope for some time . 
the background music keeps you in a state of urgency , and even suspense , for the first few conversations . 
it's only after repeated failures to pay any of this off that you lose all hope . 
and with speeches like , "" i am thinking of something , but i can only think of that something when i am thinking of something else , "" how can you expect to hold anyone's interest ? 
to godard's credit , he certainly knows how to frame a scene . 
the black and white footage used for the first half of the film is starkly beautiful . 
watching edgar read while walking along a train track on a mountain makes you wish you had something to ponder along with him . 
and if this film had anything poignant to say , you would have , which makes you all the angrier at the numerous missed opportunities . 
the environments , be it city or country , are impeccably captured in crisp detail , but the script never complements them . 
unfortunately , godard also manages to pillage his photographic eye by randomly cutting to black numerous times within any given scene . 
sometimes these breaks are used for chapter headings , but these are even more cryptic than the spoken words . 
the second half is composed of nauseating hyper-color that often blurs the image . 
you suddenly feel like a doomed character straight out of scanners . 
the only scene that makes any sense is one that complains about the united states bastardizing history in the making of movies . 
steven spielberg is picked on in particular . 
while i'll grant that this does happen , and i tend to shy away from watching such garbage , it's still a pointless focus for a film that purports to articulate the specific qualities of couplehood . 
it just goes to show , an intelligent person isn't necessarily an admirable storyteller . 
the days of breathless are no more . 
"
"-1","america loves convenience . 
after all , we're the culture that invented the cell phone , the 24-hour atm , and my most beloved , the remote control . 
yet perhaps this time , with ghosts of mars , we have taken our love of convenience to far . 
ghosts of mars stars natasha henstridge as a tough as nails , pill-poppin' , martian cop , sent with her squadron to retrieve "" demolition "" williams ( ice cube ) from a remote mining town for trial back home . 
when she and her comrades , appropriately dubbed "" the commander , "" "" the rookies , "" and the guy with the cool accent discover the town's residents slaughtered , they are forced to team up with williams to escape from the remaining residents' head-chopping , alien-possessed clutches . 
filled with a lovely overuse of storytelling flashbacks , flashes-sideways , and viewpoint changes , ghosts of mars is a hapless mishmash of poorly constructed dialogue and ill-conceived action sequences . 
the only thing keeping this film from becoming an incomprehensible mess is the sheer idiotic simplicity of its story . 
ripped straight from the pages of a 1970s zombie movie , ghosts leaps from one convenient moment to the next , stopping only to kill the characters which are most convenient to lose . 
attempts at character interaction and development are rare and forced . 
most of these moments come off as kwik-e-mart wisdom , dispensed heartily around the slushee machine of life by the even-tempered streetwise hand of ice cube . 
with a gun in one hand and a dynamite cap in the other , cube reminisces about his street life , comparing the zombie-stomping fun to "" me and my brother when we was kids . "" 
apparently , crime in the bronx has gotten so bad that the residents have actually taken to ritually decapitating one another for entertainment . 
but , even in the film's darkest moments , fate conveniently lends a hand , supplying heavily armored transportation and easily accessible rifles and dynamite . 
yes , in the future , man may travel to space and conquer mars , but nothing beats a good stick of tnt . 
and as we all know , every police station , past , present , or future , keeps a healthy supply on hand . 
characters die , heads are lopped off , but they were only supporting roles anyway , so why should we care ? 
as long as you have plenty of narcotics , immunity is guaranteed . 
eventually though , even the most well-trained zombie alien gets a bit uppity and needs to be taught a lesson . 
what better way than by sacrificing a few minor characters to a convenient nuclear detonation , killing anything the machine guns can't handle . 
explosions are fun . 
and even if the nukes don't get them , the conveniently placed dynamite packs on the train stolen from the set of the road warrior certainly will . 
in the end this film defines itself when our cop's tribunal pronounces , "" is that all you have to tell us ? "" 
for , indeed , john carpenter has run out of things to say , and has instead decided to use whatever is convenient to tell a ridiculously bad story . 
"
"-1","reindeer games is easily the worst of the three recent films penned by ehren kruger ( scream 3 and arlington rd are the others , each derivative in their own special way ) . 
the guy can't seem to write believable dialogue ( sample from reindeer games : "" rule #1 : never put a car thief behind the wheel "" ) , create multi-faceted characters , or even engineer coherent plots but he sure knows how to pile on numerous nonsensical twists and turns ( no matter if each one deems the actual story increasingly unlikely ) . 
his screenplay for reindeer games turns the tables on the audience so many times that watching the film becomes something of a punishment with no reward anywhere in sight . 
i can just envision kruger laughing behind his keyboard , "" oh you thought my movie was gonna go here , f * ck you jack ass , take that twist , decipher this mother f * cker ! "" 
it's almost as if the writer were angry at us for shelling out money to see his stupid movie . 
and why the hell would anyone want to invest time in a movie when the screenwriter keeps changing his own rules for no reason other than to congratulate himself on how damn clever he is ? 
auteur theory be damned ; it's kruger's "" style "" , not the director's that winds up on screen . 
kruger has obviously never paid much mind to the old chestnut "" sometimes less is more "" . 
and his numerous twists can't even claim to be originals ; arlington rd's ending is a direct steal from the much better alan j . pakula thriller the parallax view , and in reindeer games we get this ol' gem ; character incriminates themself by saying something they shouldn't know ( pronouns used to protect the gender of the "" character "" . . . grammar 
be damned ) . 
 "" how did you know that ? "" 
the stunned protagonist asks , suddenly realizing that the character was in on the whole thing all along . 
 . 
 . 
since twist endings are currently so in vogue , and seeing as how kruger's screenplays usually come equipped with about three twists per ending , i guess it's no wonder why he works so frequently . 
he's quickly becoming miramax's mickey mouse ; the company has already signed him to work on several of their upcoming projects . 
this is appropriate considering that miramax ( which used to place their label on some of the most artistically daring films ) has quickly become a grindhouse for coddling foreign imports ( life is beautiful ) and freddie prinze jr . vehicles . 
their company's current logo could be "" we ride the trends "" . 
reindeer games stars ben affleck as rudy , a supposedly hardened criminal spending his days and nights behind bars with fantasies of pecan pies dancing atop his head . 
although affleck is given some barbed wire tattoos to insinuate bad assness , he plays the role like steve guttenberg preciously mugging through a police academy flick . 
affleck is such a puppy dog that it's impossible to believe he could survive in a harsh prison environment without becoming nearly everyone's bitch . 
the role itself is so badly written ( the character only grows balls when the plot calls for it ) , the twists so outrageous , and the directing so self consciously gritty that this is about as close to self parody as i can recall a recent "" serious "" movie getting . 
it may have been wiser had the film makers simply went all the way in that direction , casting jerry seinfeld as the hardened criminal and howard stern as the sniveling bad guy ( who's played here by gary sinise in yet another over the top villain performance ) 
james frain is nick , rudy's cellmate , a manslaughterer who's found a pen pal in the gorgeous ashley mason ( charlize theron ) . 
ashley is a prison groupie who sends nick many cheesecake photos of her though she's never seen one picture of him . 
which works out fine since the character is killed in a near-riot , and rudy ( who was to be paroled on the same day as nick ) takes his place , which leads to a sudden and very frenzied sex scene between ashley and rudy ( so frenzied it kinda looks like rape ) and a surprise visit from ashley's brother , gabriel ( gary sinise ) , who waltzes into their shabby hotel room flanked by his thuggish co-horts . 
he plans to rob an indian casino on christmas eve with the assistance of rudy who he thinks is nick who , according to what he wrote in the letters to ashley , used to work as a guard in the indian casino . 
though by the end , the film pulls the rug out from under us so frequently that everything i've described might as well be irrelevant . 
this is what you can expect should you chose to take this reindeer on ; several scenes in which , after catching his prey , the bad guy proceeds to stall interminably until the good guy has a chance to kill his captor and crack a stupid one-liner . 
included : two ( 2 ) scenes of two ( 2 ) different bad guys explaining their motives to the hero when they should be killing him ( one following the other no less ) . 
though it's an action film , the ending is more a talkfest where we get the whole movie explained to us by one flustered character actor after another while affleck looks on , incredulous as the audience . 
the flick was directed by john frankenheimer , a straightforward action director who lucked into the manchurian candidate early in his career , fell off the a-list following a string of flops and now , in his old age , is slowly climbing his way back up . 
it would be a success story if he were choosing better scripts but his last major film was ronin ( one of those almost but not quite movies ) which followed the island of dr . morneau 
 ( you remember , the one with marlon brando in mime make-up and a not so flattering moo-moo ) , and now this . 
he films action sequences with a minimum of quick cutting which i like considering that nowadays action scenes are commonly comprised of millisecond flash cuts strung together and laid out for a brain-zapped mtv audience to pick apart . 
problem is these action scenes ( nearly all failed escapes ) serve no purpose in the story other than to further pad out the running time and to remind the audience that their watching an action movie rather than a filmed radio play . 
character problems abound ; rudy is made to shift between sweet boy next door earnestness and hard edged wiseacre , the latter of which is not ( at least at this point ) something ben affleck is capable of pulling off . 
the former he can do with ease and often the actor coasts on his lackadaisical charm while those around him growl and swear . 
but then suddenly affleck starts growling and swearing alongside them like the class clown imitating a tarantino gangster . 
charlize theron , an extraordinary talent , is , like affleck , playing whatever part the script requires her to play , whether it be vulnerability at one moment , anger at the next . 
she never has a chance to evince any charm or make much of an impression beyond her obvious physical attributes ( frankenheimer has her needlessly pop her top to further italicize this . 
gary sinise has played this role frequently , and here , as in snake eyes , he does the snarling bad guy thing with such over the top vitriol ( the guy must be so incredibly bored of stomping through the same paces that going out of control is the only thing that keeps him interested any more ) , that it becomes more of an annoyance ( oh there he goes again ? ? ? ) than a threat . 
these are talented people who made the mistake of jumping on to a script with little but stock characters and a bag of tricks that it dully springs on its audience . 
"
"-1","a follow-up to disney's live-action "" 101 dalmatians "" that's better , more entertaining than the first ? 
just as unlikely . 
with "" 102 dalmatians , "" the disney studios have proven that when it comes to going to the dogs , more is definitely * not * the merrier . 
1996's "" 101 dalmatians "" certainly wasn't the greatest movie-going experience of all time , but it did feature glenn close in an outrageous , larger-than-life performance . 
in addition , we had two amiable leads in the form of jeff daniels and joely richardson , and lots and lots of adorable spotted puppies . 
this time around there seem to be fewer puppies on the screen , and close's facial and physical gyrations are starting to feel as old as the 53-year-old actress under that startling black and white wig of hers . 
but that's only half the problem with kevin lima's laborious film . 
what makes "" 102 dalmatians "" such a collosal bore is its embarrassing attempts at humor ( here almost single-handedly foisted on a wisecracking macaw who thinks he's a dog , voiced by eric idle ) , its rabid plotlessness ( cruella goes after puppies again ; winds up in goo again ) and most of all , the incredibly wooden actors who plays the romantic "" heroes "" of the piece , a welshman named ioan gruffudd and the blander-than-bland alice evans as a parole officer named chlo ? . 
gruffudd is cute and harmless , perhaps , but evans can't even aspire to that . 
the dogs upstage them both , of course , but in the case of evans , even close's split ends are more animated . 
bad acting , however , seems to be a requirement for this sequel , since g ? rard depardieu shows up as a french furrier with a haircut like robert de niro's in "" men of honor . "" 
jean pierre le pelt is a flamboyant fashion designer with a penchant for fine furs and depardieu's over-the-top antics mimic those of the campy close flail for flail , and wail for wail . 
france's most popular export besides brie has long since turned into a caricature of himself , and in "" 102 dalmatians "" the producers milk that realization for all it's worth--le pelt likes to refer to the furry little critters as "" poopies , "" par example ( and ad nauseum ) . 
the finesses of the script ( attributed to four screenwriters no less , and far removed from anything dodie smith ever dreamed up ) are quickly dispensed with , since all it takes for a paroled cruella to be shaken from her years of successful aversion therapy in the slammer is the tolling of big ben ( ? ) . 
that done , it's back to the mansion to roll around in her heretofore off-limits sables and minks and a plan to skin those little dahlings for the sake of a hooded designer gown . 
the dogs are pretty cute--try making a puppy look otherwise--but that's pretty much all they are . 
there's always the feeling that there's a trainer off in the wings , coaxing the dogs to open doors , or pick up their food bowls in unison , or pop a tape into the videocasette recorder . 
savvy holiday goers should skip "" 102 dalmatians "" and pop the original 1961 animated classic into * their * vcrs instead . 
it's one dalmatian less , but 101% more satisfying . 
"
"-1","one-sided "" doom and gloom "" documentary about the possible annihilation of the human race as foretold by the bible . 
orson welles narrates and appears in the film in which he , along with best-selling author hal lindsey , discusses various prophecies from the bible and relates them to recent ( well for 1976 anyway ) events . 
the film is dated badly , as many things that are supposed to happen in the "" future "" never do . 
for example , the planets of the solar system were supposed to line up in the year 1982 and cause chaos here on earth . 
we're still here . 
the arms race between the soviets and america was supposed to kick-off the apocalypse . 
we're still here . 
some of the more ludicrous moments come when it's alluded to that people like jimmy carter and henry kissinger may actually be the antichrist ( ! ) . 
also , there's ten minutes of stock footage at the end of the film meant to give us an idea of what the battle for armageddon might be like . 
if it's anything like it's depicted as here then it's going to be incredibly boring . 
the late great planet earth is available on dvd from vci home video . 
it contains the film in standard form ( aspect ratio of 1 . 33 : 1 ) , although some moments of stock footage are letterboxed . 
also included are brief bios on orson welles and hal lindsey , as well as a trailer for another recent vci home video release , chariots of the gods . 
audio is mono dolby digital , and the video is fair to good for a film like this . 
i believe this is the first appearance of this film on any home video format so any condition at all is fine with me . 
certainly i never expected a remastered print . 
curiously , the menu screens on this dvd look nothing like the menu screens pictured on the back of the case . 
but they're menu screens . . . 
so who really cares ? 
[pg] 
"
"-1","play it to the bone , the newest addition to ron shelton's sports - themed repertoire fails in numerous ways . 
like most of shelton's other great films ( bull durham , white men can't jump ) , this dud unsuccessfully attempts to use athleticism as a method of connecting characters and creating interesting subplots . 
shelton's films are not considered sports films , but they do heavily revolve around a specific game to tell a story . 
shelton has been so good in the past at using sports to analyze the structure of society that from his collection of films we are given an examination of different classes and races living in various different regions . 
play it to the bone is unsuccessful because not only is the boxing theme dull , but the side story of the two guys and a girl travelling across the country is even worse . 
the film has no social message like its predecessors . 
the relationship between the friends , two failed boxers who must face off against each other in the ring for 50 thousand dollars , is very confusing for a number of reasons . 
the whole film , since it is primarily a "" buddy picture , "" depends on the strength of the friendship the two characters have for each other . 
unfortunately , it is a very weak bond for the reasons listed below . 
1 ) we never see how cesar ( antonio banderas ) and vince ( woody harrelson ) meet . 
the two are so different from each other , that a scene of how this odd friendship developed should have been mandatory . 
2 ) vince and cesar argue every moment possible on their trip to las vegas . 
there is not one convincing moment dedicated to seeing the characters laugh together or actually agree on something . 
3 ) the third character on the trip , grace ( lolita davidovich ) stands in the way . 
she is in nearly every scene with them , making it impossible to understand the difficulty the two male characters are going to have when they fight each other . 
4 ) there are two many interfering , irrelevant side stories . 
vince is convinced that he sees jesus on a regular basis , cesar yells at the sky in spanish when he is angry , and grace tries to sell her inventions to hotel owner robert wagner . 
these boring tales only hurt the central plot . 
5 ) when it comes to time for the two men to fight , they don't even hesitate to pound each other . 
wasn't the whole point of the road trip to show that these two are friends who could never hurt each other ? 
by the time the road trip part of the movie is over with , the film wants to be over . 
shelton , on the other hand , continues to tell his story . 
forty five painful minutes remain . 
the boxing scene between cesar and vince starts out very powerful and interestingly different from other boxing movies . 
however , the fight goes on for way too long and becomes very repetitive and predictable after awhile , kind of like the whole film . 
"
"-1","some movies i should just skip . 
my daughter and i had a really vile time at my favorite martian a few weeks back , and here comes another disney effects-filled live-action flick based on an old tv program . 
true , the probgram is only 15 years old this time , and it's a cartoon . 
but it's a cartoon i liked , and i was understandably reluctant to see what disney had done to it on the big screen . 
but my daughter really wanted to go , and how bad could it be ? 
turns out i was right , mostly . 
inspector gadget , oddly enough , follows almost exactly the same format as my favorite martian , down to the jive-talking side-kick . 
at first i thought it was done by the same people , but imdb informs me that ig was directed by david kellogg and written by dana olsen and kerry ehrin , where mfm was directed by donald petrie and written by sherri stoner and deanna oliver . 
this odd similarity between the two movies may best be explained by the studio that produced it , where "" formula "" isn't just business , it's a way of life . 
the producers who obviously micromanaged the two projects should get prominant screen credits . 
in some parts you can just hear them saying "" more zany ! 
i want more zany here -- and -- here . "" 
 "" let's have a really painful sexual reference for no reason right here -- make it really painful . 
i want the audience squirming in their seats . "" 
 "" ok , that's fine , but i want you to add bug guts . "" 
 "" what does this scene do ? 
character depth ? 
but where's the zaniness ? 
i don't see zany here . 
if you can't make it zany , cut it ! "" 
the latter is the only explanation i can come up with for the absence of the thoroughly charming michelle trachtenberg for most of the movie . 
michelle ( who plays penny , gadget's niece ) shines in every scene she's in , but unfortunately she only gets about nine minutes of screen time . 
my guess is that the rest is on the cutting room floor . 
dabney coleman's comedic talents are utterly wasted as chief quimby . 
i kept expecting him to say or do something really funny and somehow save the film , but instead , he does the best he can with some really poor lines in a few unexceptional scenes . 
he is thoroughly upstaged by cheri oteri as the "" gidget bitch from hell "" town mayor . 
oteri's overly enthusiastic and continually self-congratulatory speech patterns and mannerisms were so much like portland , oregon's own manic mayor vera katz that i had to wonder if the studio wasn't poking fun at our fair town . 
or , maybe all career politicians are like that . 
i must say , matthew broderick does not stroll through inspector gadget as he did godzilla . 
he appears to have some fun with the film , especially as the evil gadget . 
rupert everett is entertaining as the maniacle claw . 
joely fisher does fine as the zany scientist and even better as the zany carbon copy of herself . 
her performance is one of the few things worth watching in the film . 
d . l . hughley plays the shuckin'-and-jivin' vehicular side-kick , in a role that firmly sets emancipation back 20 years . 
the dialog is . . . let's face it , it's pretty bad . 
the tag-line after a major set-piece battle is a faux pas that makes no sense in context . 
a lot of the lines ( especially hughley's ) appear to be made up as they go along , by people with little gift for ad-lib . 
about three-quarters of the film is a somewhat unnecessary origin story for both gadget and claw . 
gadget then spends the latter third of the movie trying to locate claw and having various altercations ( not really "" battles "" ) with the evil gadget . 
penny does about a minute and a half of the detective work her character did every week in the cartoon . 
let me rage here just for a minute . 
michelle trachtenberg was an excellent choice for the penny character . 
she's utterly charming , and has excellent experience ( harriet the spy ) for the part of the pint-size detective . 
why she is so underutilized in this film is a real mystery . 
the film loses a star for casting brilliance coupled with scripting ( or editing ) stupidity . 
inspector gadget is missing the long , long stretches of potty humor that ( among other things ) made my favorite martian so unbearable , but it's a very short movie , so perhaps something was cut at the last moment . 
probably the best scenes in the film occur during the end credits . 
the "" evil sidekick support group "" is especially worth seeing , and has an amazing number of cameo appearances for the few seconds it's onscreen . 
all in all , another bad live action film from the premere studio for bad live action films . 
i wonder if disney uses the revenues for it's generally money-making cartoons to produce these losers . 
but if true , why ? 
if they're trying for another mary poppins , they need to find a team that can produce one , and then give them a chance to do it . 
"
"-1","hong kong cinema has been going through a bad spell . 
the last few productions have been effect laded action adventures that combine both the best and worst of american filmmaking with the same qualities of hong kong films . 
in a nutshell , the current crop of films from hong kong has been maddeningly convoluted and visually sumptuous . 
with the one time british colony reverting back to mainland ownership , a lot of hong kong's best talents have crossed the pacific to work on u . s . productions . 
such talents as jackie chan ( rush hour ) , chow yun-fat ( anna & the king , the corrupter ) and yuen woo-ping ( the matrix ) have all moved into the budget bloated world of hollywood filmmaking with mixed results . 
now we can add two other hong kong filmmakers to the mix with star jet li and director and fight choreographer corey yuen kwai . 
unfortunately "" romeo must die "" bears all the trademarks of a typical hollywood action film and none of hong kong's rhythms . 
the film opens in a nightclub as an asian couple is necking . 
enter a group of chinese gangsters led by kai sing ( russell wong ) . 
kai confronts po sing ( jon kit lee ) , the son of kai's boss and leader of the local chinese family . 
a battle breaks out between the bodyguards of the club and kai , who handily kicks and punches his opponents down . 
it's not until club owner silk ( rapper dmx ) , bears down on kai and his henchmen that the fight ends . 
the following morning po sing is found dead . 
suspicions escalate , as issac o'day ( delroy lindo ) is told of the murder . 
his concern that the war between his and the chinese family may explode and ruin his plans to move out of the business of corruption and into a legitimate venture . 
issac implores his chief of security , mac ( issiah washington ) to watch after his son and daughter . 
the scene shifts to a prison in china , where han sing ( jet li ) learns of his brothers murder . 
he fights with the guards and is dragged off to be disciplined . 
hung upside down by one foot , han recovers and battle his way out of custody in a blistering display of fight choreography and stunt work . 
escaping to the u . s . han sets out to find the person responsible for his brother's death . 
 "" romeo must die "" is in many ways a fun film . 
it is both absurd and assured . 
the basic plot of a gangster wanting to become legitimate echoes "" the godfather "" . 
the relationship between jet li's han and aaliyah's trish o'day reminds us of abel ferrera's "" china girl "" , except that romeo must die's couple never once exchange more than a loving glance towards one another . 
their romance is much more puritanical than any other romance in film history . 
the performances are adequate if not fully acceptable . 
li , of course has the showiest part , having to express both an innocents and steadfast determination . 
allayah , in her feature film debut manages to carry what little is asked of her with a certain style and grace . 
it's obvious that the camera loves her and she is very photogenic . 
but , still the part is under written in such a way that even a poor performance would not have affected it . 
delro lindo as issac o'day carries himself well in the film . 
an unsung and under appreciated actor , mr . lindo turns out the films best performance . 
the other performers are all adequate in what the script asks of them except for d . b . woodside as issac's son , colin . 
the performance is undirected , with the character changing his tone and demeanor in accordance with whatever location he is in . 
an unfocused performance that should have been reigned in and / or better written . 
first time director andrzej bartkowiak does a workmanlike job in handling the film . 
having a career as one of the industry's best cinematographers , bartkiwiak knows how to set up his shots , and "" romeo must die "" does look good . 
but the pacing of the film is lethargic , only coming to a semblance of life during the fight scenes . 
the script by eric bernt and john jarrell is not focused in such a way that we can care about the characters or the situations they are in . 
the big gambit of buying up waterfront property to facilitate the building of a sports center for a nfl team is needlessly confusing . 
and of course the common practice of one character being the comic relief of the film becomes painfully obvious here as anthony anderson as allayah's bodyguard , maurice has no comic timing whatsoever . 
the best things about the film are its fight scenes . 
jet li is a master of these intricate physical battles . 
one needs only to see his film "" fist of legend "" to understand that the man is without peer in the realm of martial art combat . 
here , jet is given the opportunity to show off in a way that "" lethal weapon 4 "" ( jet's u . s . debut ) didn't allow . 
unfortunately , a lot of jet's fights are aided with computer effects that detract from his ability and precision . 
also "" romeo must die "" must be noted as having the most singularly useless effect ever committed to film , and that is an x-ray effect that appears three times during the course of the film , showing the effect of bone crushing blows on an opponent . 
obviously a homage to the famed x-ray scene from sonny chiba's "" streetfighter "" , the scenes here are just pointless and interfere with the pacing of the film . 
it's as if the film has stopped and a video game has been inserted . 
one problem though about the fight scenes . 
those that are familiar with hong kong action know that even though the films are fantasies and are as removed from reality as any anime or cartoon . 
they do have an internal rhythm to them . 
a heartbeat , so to speak in their choreography . 
the fight scenes in a hong kong film breath with an emotional resonance . 
this is created by the performance , the direction and the editing . 
here in "" romeo must die "" , there is no staccato . 
every fight scene , even though technically adroit and amazing becomes boring as the editing both cuts away from battle at hand and simple follows a set pattern . 
the rhythm is monotonous . 
a hong kong film has a tempo that changes , heightening its emotional impact . 
'rmd' is limited to a standard 4/4 tempo , not allowing for any emotional content whatsoever . 
a fine example of this difference can be found by examining a couple of jackie chan's films . . 
watch the restaurant fight from the film "" rush hour "" and notice that the context of the fight , while technically amazing is rather flat ( the framing and cut always do not help ) . 
now look at the warehouse fight from "" rumble in the bronx "" . 
there you have a heartbeat , and emotional draw that doesn't let the audience catch its breath . 
the stops and pauses for dramatic effect work perfectly , causing the viewer to be both astounded and flabbergasted . 
here in 'romeo must die' , the fight scenes have no more emotional content or character than any john wayne barroom brawl . 
jet li is a grand and personable screen presence . 
it's a shame that his full talents were not used to full effect here . 
one day filmmakers here in the u . s . will stop making films by the numbers and start to embrace the style and emotion that has made hong kong action pictures such a commodity . 
until then , we'll be left with emotionally hollow product like "" the replacement killer "" and , currently "" romeo must die "" . 
"
"-1","i wish i could have been in the pitch meeting for this ridiculous notion of a sports film . 
i bet it was some hotshot warner brothers agent with an dark armani suit and manicured fingernails saying , "" it would be a very light comedic version of any given sunday , and we could throw in the hoosiers angle with the casting of gene hackman as the tough but determined coach . 
throw in that hunk of a guy keanu reeves and a cast of wacky characters and poof ! 
we'll have a hit on our hands ! "" 
the replacements is a hokey mistake of a football film , a mishmash collage of one-dimensional characters , rampant stereotypes of cultures and races , cliched emotional statements of purpose , and keanu reeves wishing for the matrix sequel to start principal photography . 
the story is loosely based around the pro football players' strike in 1987 and a rag-tag team of replacement football players taking up the reins of professional play for a variety of teams with names like the washington sentinels . 
keanu reeves stars as shane falco , a has-been football college player looking for redemption . 
gene hackman dons a fedora like tom landry and speaks with gusto like a certain coach in hoosiers . 
rounding out the cast includes swingers' jon favreau , 7-up pitchman orlando jones , gruff owner jack warden , and cast of wacky and unknown actors who do amazing jobs of portraying perfectly stereotyped characters : the drunken welshman , the overweight sumo wrestler , the black convict , the violent cop , and the dumb , dumb cheerleaders . 
this bunch of nobodies try to make something of themselves by taking the team to the season playoffs with unbelievable football plays , gene hackman yelling and asking himself where the hell dennis hopper is , keanu reeves looking for his body double making him look good on the football field , and cheerleaders hired from the local strip club making the girls from coyote ugly look like waitresses from denny's . 
the usual things happen like clockwork . 
the hero rises from the ashes of failure , the team comes together in unity , the hero falls in love with a conventional love interest , the football games are won with enough schlock value to make the most ignorant of audiences cheer and clap , and the cheerleaders make you want to go home and watch late night movies on cinemax . 
it's also a shame when decent directors with good movies under their belts go to seed and become television and sequel hacks . 
howard deutch , who was behind the camera for two of the best films of '80s - pretty in pink and some kind of wonderful , has since been doing grumpier old men and caroline in the city episodes . 
obviously the problem is that without a good script , any director will fail in the end . 
sports films are strong vehicles for cinematic glory , gritty tales involving the honor of men and the valiant efforts taken for the ultimate goal of victory in the face of insurmountable odds , the rise and fall of gallant heroes , and stories of dramatic gusto painted with blood and sweat on the battlefield of life . 
the replacements offers none of this . 
"
"-1","if you're into watching near on two hours of bored , foul-mouthed florida teens having sex , doing drugs , having sex , listening to eminem , having sex , playing video games , having sex , and killing one of their peers , then "" bully "" 's for you . 
based on jim schutze's novelization of a true-life event , "" bully "" charts the story of a handful of disenchanted teenagers who , in 1993 , murdered their high school bully in cold , calculated blood . 
the film could have provided fascinating insights into what turned these aimless kids into premeditated killers . 
in the hands of controversial director larry clark ( "" kids "" ) , however , it has less to say about its subject matter and more to say about the filmmaker's pornographic proclivities . 
in terms of the incident and what provoked it , "" bully "" stirs up nothing new . 
the high schoolers are presented as a uniformly screwed up lot--bored with life , not much ambition , promiscuous , profane . 
the bully in question , bobby kent ( nick stahl ) , is certainly an unpleasant piece of work but he doesn't exactly tower over his colleagues in the pathological department . 
he hounds and harries and humiliates his "" best friend "" marty ( played by brad renfro ) and marty's girlfriend lisa ( rachel miner ) doesn't care for it at all and comes up with the idea of killing bobby . 
simply remove him from the equation . 
marty and lisa and a handful of their promiscuous , profane , and stoner friends , plus a recruited hit man ( ? ) , lure bobby to a swamp one night , stab him , beat him over the head with a baseball bat , and dump him into the canal where the sand crabs and the gators , presumably , finish him off . 
there's no remorse--the next day they're talking about it as openly as a homework assignment . 
they did it because they wanted to , and because they could . 
what's most troubling about the film , however , isn't the unsettling subject matter and the matter-of-fact way these young people go about eliminating one of their own but the way in which clark is constantly distracted by his own material . 
not only is the nudity plentiful and graphic in "" bully "" but there's also an uneasy , exploitative feel to it . 
gratuitous crotch shots abound ( one of which makes the zipper cut-away in "" there's something about mary "" look like the height of subtlety ! ) . 
clark is so pre-occupied with his female ( predominantly ) leads that you forget , at times , what this movie is supposed to be about . 
the stripping bare , literally and figuratively , of these actors ( who are , after all , playing underage teenagers ) becomes harder to watch over time , as you begin to feel for them and question the motives of the man behind the camera . 
the conclusion of "" bully "" offers up literal snapshots of information about the sentences imposed on each of the protagonists for their involvement in the crime . 
it's a short sequence of stills--heather : 7 years ; ali : 40 years ; lisa : life imprisonment , for example--but it's infinitely more telling than the 110 minutes of rampant unpleasantness that precedes it . 
 "" bully "" aims for truth , exploits it shamelessly , then bludgeons it to death . 
"
"-1","sean connery stars as a harvard law professor who heads back into the courtroom , by way of the everglades , to defend a young , educated black man ( blair underwood ) . 
the guy is on death row for the murder of a white girl , and says that his confession was coerced from the region's tough , black cop ( lawrence fishburne ) . 
watching connery and fishburne bump heads for two hours is amusing enough , but the plot's a joke . 
there's no logic at work here . 
tone is also an issue--there is none . 
director arne glimcher never establishes exactly what his film is trying to say . 
is it a statement on human rights ? 
is it a knock-off of silence of the lambs ? 
glimcher never tells . 
instead , he forces his characters to jump through hoop after hoop , over drawbridge after drawbridge , hoping that the audience won't notice what's missing . 
just awful . 
the madness of king george 107 min . 
/ not rated ========================== 
still wondering who nigel hawthorne is ? 
then check out his oscar- nominated work in the madness of king george , still playing in both raleigh and chapel hill . 
stage director nicholas hytner , in a remarkable screen debut , has adapted alan bennett's 1991 tragic comedy to fine effect . 
sumptuous-looking and only mildly stuffy , the film charts the madness that plagued king george iii ( hawthorne ) almost 30 years into his reign . 
a man of no importance 98 min . 
/ rated "" r "" ====================== 
in suri krishnamma's a man of no importance , albert finney disappears so deeply into the role of a lovable dublin bus conductor that it's a shame when the film gets so serious around him . 
his character is a conductor with a passion for oscar wilde . 
he reads to his riders , and once a year , with their help , he tries to stage one of the author's plays . 
this year it's "" salome . "" 
for about an hour , there's a sweet magic behind finney and his troupe of working-class stiffs . 
conflict arises , but it's small stuff--an administrator from the bus company here , an outraged catholic pork butcher ( michael gambon ) there . 
but with finney at the wheel , so to speak , the film rolls smoothly over these plot points--just like the gorgeous leland double-decker bus in the story . 
where things get serious is toward the end of the film , when the plot takes a turn that the bus never would , and the story heads down a very dark alley that marks the end of an enjoyable ride . 
the twist makes sense--and helps paint a complete picture of finney's character--but the trip to get there betrays the light , airy atmosphere of what had come before . 
it's not a fatal misstep , mind you , and it doesn't send the story soaring into the realms of incredulity . 
it's just a turn off . 
dr . strangelove 93 min . 
/ not rated =============== 
mein fuhrer ! 
the most fun that * i * had last month was in durham , at the carolina , at a mid-week screening of stanley kubrick's pitch-black comedy dr . 
strangelove ( or how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb ) . 
the 1964 film stars peter sellers ( in three roles ) , george c . scott , sterling hayden , and slim pickens . 
their antics brought the house down , which , to my surprise , was packed by an audience younger than the film . 
"
"-1","among multitude of erotic thrillers , that had been released in the early 1990s , woman of desire is interesting only because it was directed by robert ginty , star of the b-grade action films of the previous decade . 
those who tend not to be nostalgic about 1980s can find very good reason in the type of movies that made ginty the star . 
as director , ginty did very little to improve that impression . 
the protagonist of the movie is jack ( played by jeff fahey ) , yacht skipper that falls madly in love with christina ford ( played by bo derek ) . 
however , she has relationship with rich and powerful jonathan ashby ( steven bauer ) . 
one stormy night , the tragedy occurs and jack is accused of rape and murder . 
however , his good friend walter j . hill ( robert mitchum ) happens to be very good lawyer , so jack might even prove his innocence in the end . 
belonging more to the genre of courtroom drama than erotic thriller , woman of desire distinguishes itself from similar films by having almost all characters behaving like total idiots . 
unfortunately , this film isn't comedy and any laugh is unintentional . 
the characters are totally antipathetic and irritating and soon we stop caring what would happen to them . 
the actors that play them don't help either . 
that is especially the case with jeff fahey , whose jack is so stupid that even the character played by fahey in lawnmower man looks like a genius in comparison . 
his partner bo derek , on the other hand , shows that she didn't age enough to cease being the sex goddess , but that is small compensation for her apparent lack of acting talents . 
ginty , on the other hand , tries to bring some life in the movie by using many flashbacks and strange angles of shooting , but in the end it gets only irritating to the already bored and dissatisfied viewer . 
"
"-1"," "" lake placid "" marks yet another entry in the series of "" predator pics "" that were a screen staple in the late 1970s ( post- "" jaws "" ) and were revived recently by the godawful "" anaconda . "" 
 "" placid "" claims to be a "" horror/comedy "" -it's directed by the same guy who did "" house "" -but its attempts at humor are actually less funny than deadpan seriousness of "" anaconda . "" 
paleontologist kelly scott ( bridget fonda ) is sent up to maine to examine a tooth removed from a body that had been bitten in half on the lake . 
discovering that the tooth belongs to a crocodile ( which shouldn't even be in this hemisphere ) , kelly goes croc-hunting with game warden jack wells ( bill pullman ) and sheriff hank keough ( brendan gleeson ) . 
they're joined by an unwelcome guest , hector cyr ( oliver platt ) , a scholar who worships crocs and searches all over the world for them . 
along the way , the merry band meets mrs . delores bickerman ( betty white ) , a weird old lady who lives out on the lake . 
you know what to expect from this movie : lots of shots where the camera is the eyes of the predator ( croc cam ) swimming toward someone's dangling legs while "" jaws "" -like music plays , one character ( hector ) who's obsessed with the croc and stupidly endangers the rest , another character who insists that the predator can't possibly exist . 
unlike its slippery cousin "" anaconda , "" "" lake placid "" wants to present its formulaic plot tongue-in-cheek , which is self-defeating . 
the result is neither scary nor funny ; it's just tedious . 
while director steve miner has several horror films on his resume ( including two installments of "" friday the 13th "" and "" halloween h20 "" ) , screenwriter david kelley ( best known as the creator of tv series like "" ally mcbeal "" and "" chicago hope "" ) doesn't seem to have the stomach for a chomp 'em up flick . 
the body count is surprisingly low and doesn't include any of the major characters , and most annoyingly kelly and hector insist that they capture the crocodile alive rather than killing it . 
 ( "" lake placid "" manages to have it both ways-i'll let you discover how for yourself ) . 
the croc itself is mostly computer-generated , of course . 
like the snake in "" anaconda , "" the thirty-foot monster crocodile doesn't seem real ; it moves too quickly and in ways that seem unnatural . 
 "" lake placid "" also offers little explanation for why a giant crocodile is in maine . 
there is a lot of semi-mystical mumbo jumbo about how "" we really don't know much about crocodiles . "" 
they would have been better off going with something like the urban myth about alligators in the sewers . 
a movie like this doesn't have to offer much of an explanation ( radioactive mutant ? 
creature from outer space ? ) , but it does have to give the audience something to hang their disbelief on . 
pullman and fonda seem to be plodding through the movie on auto-pilot . 
most of the time , they're probably thinking about killing their agents or wondering if making this movie marks the end of their careers . 
platt and white , on the other hand , seem to be giving their best efforts , and they manage to squeeze a few chuckles out of this sorry script . 
"
"-1","capsule : where are you tonight , leni rienfenstal ? 
starship troopers is an expensive , hateful and unenjoyable piece of violent pornography -- and bad pornography , at that . 
it is not good cinema , not good storytelling , and not even stupid fun : it's so cynically , calculatedly bone-headed that even the least demanding members of the audience i was with were alternately bored and revulsed . 
it's one of the worst movies i've seen in a long time . 
why am i calling this movie pornography ? 
pornography , in the abstract , is anything which is calculated to appeal to the baser instincts . 
i remember reading a review of full metal jacket which described the climact moment at the end of the movie , where private joker has to shoot the downed vc sniper , as "" a near-pornographic eternity "" . 
i didn't agree with that assessment , but i could see what was being implied : the reviewer felt as if the audience was being incited to stand up and pump their fists and shout "" do 'er , man , do 'er ! "" 
that sentiment is echoed ad nauseam throughout starship troopers . 
it's * literally * like a giant recruitment film that has gone berserk . 
it tries frantically to enlist our emotions but it winds up only being dull or sickening . 
the film takes place in our future , when earth has come under attack by some alien species that doesn't appear to have intelligence . 
to counterattack , humankind does the single stupidest thing imaginable : instead of nuke the planet from orbit , which they're clearly capable of , they send down grunts with m-16 rifles . 
this isn't heinlein , it's a bad wwii movie , one where all the most obvious points of satire are ever poked and prodded in combat scenes that are noisy , repetitive , and ultimately tiresome . 
 ( one scene has a journalist on a battlefield , filimg soldiers being slaughtered , and ends with groaning predictability : said cameraman gets skewered , too . ) 
the soldiers and their commanders are consistently idiotic . 
they do not possess a germ of tactical intelligence or even common sense . 
they don't even behave like soldiers in a bad * movie * , and therefore we don't care about them . 
we hated the tom berenger character in platoon , but he * mattered * , and therefore we were curious to learn about his fate . 
here , we don't even hate the bugs -- what's there to hate ? 
hating them would be like cursing a hurricaine . 
if there's anything really hateful there , the movie doesn't know how to give it to us . 
the screenwriter ( ed neumeier -- perhaps a better appelation would be "" screen typist "" ) and director ( the increasingly talent-impaired paul verhoeven ) have not found any way to make the characters or the story serve each other . 
one of the subplots concerns a woman pilot who's great at getting out of tight situations , and does it again and again and again . 
once or twice is fine . 
by the fifth or sixth time , it's worn out its welcome . 
there's never any sense that these people are really thinking their way out of anything , or really being tested to show their mettle . 
also , the movie is irritatingly selective with how effective the bugs are to earthling weaponry . 
if a bug has one of the humans screaming in its grasp , then five guys can stand around it and blast away on full auto without doing a damned thing . 
but if one human gets cornered , he lays waste to whole platoons of bugs with one clip . 
uh-huh . 
the very worst feature of the movie is its repulsive quasi-fascist flavor . 
i say "" quasi- "" because while the movie uses many of the trappings of fascism ot eroticize its action -- the gear , the uniforms , etc . -- the movie doesn't have the nerve ( or the brains ) to be genuinely fascist , or intelligent about the subject . 
the bumpers between scenes , which are apparently intended to parody wartime recruitment propaganda are propaganda -- just so clumsy and oafish that they wind up making the bugs look relatively innocuous in comparison . 
like the rest of the movie . 
there's more , i suppose , but it's not worth it . 
the acting is bland , neither arsenic nor gravy ; the music disposable ; the camerawork turgid . 
the heartbreaking thing is that it makes independence day look like a masterpiece . 
"
"-1","the classic story & the production which ruined it 
marking the centennial anniversary of the 1896 h . g . wells classic , new line cinema , armed with a stellar cast and expert make-up effects man stan winston ( alien , predator , terminator etc ) churns out yet another hollywood film based on the classic novel . 
of course , the production is no doubt much more superior compared to the earlier 2 movies , one of which was made back in the 1933 and the other in the 1977 , under the title the island of lost souls ( sounds like a much better title . . ) . 
the story begins with edward douglas ( thewlis ) , a un representative sent to oversee a peace treaty somewhere in the south pacific , who is saved from the brink of death by montgomery ( kilmer ) after his plane crashes into the sea . 
douglas soon learns that montgomery is working for dr . moreau , who incidently , owns the island and also a reputable geneticist who has been awarded the nobel prize . 
his host's reluctance to allow him to freely move around the island becomes clear when he stumbled into moreau's lab , when a monstrous birth was in progress . 
even worse , the other workers in the lab are not exactly normal "" people . "" 
douglas stumbles across yet another shocking discovery when he is led to the beast-people community , which considers dr . moreau their maker . 
using shock-therapy and the law , dr . moreau has long been able to keep his beast-people civilised to some extent but there are a few animal-men who are just too savage to be controlled . 
the island of dr . 
moreau questions the ability of men playing god . 
dr . moreau is a man obsessed with creating a race of beings which is free from hate and violence . . . but the savage within every beast is not something one can suppress for long . 
moreau has no doubt a very interesting premise within its grasp . 
even so , the production has failed to make the most out of it . 
there are too many characters to put your attention to and the worst thing is , the characters are not "" prioritized "" so when the audience is led to believe that a particular character is important , before they know it , he or she or it perishes . . . . rather 
ungloriously at times too . 
perhaps there is some redemption in the development of the beast people , especially aissa ( balk ) , the most human of moreau's creations . 
the two very important characters , montgomery and dr . moreau himself receive no development at all and it is in this area that the script fails miserably . 
more screen time could have been used for character interaction and development . 
i really would have liked it better if , say , they delved more into dr . moreau's obsession , montgomery's purpose in the story and justification to as why the beast-people had to rebel . 
maybe the nature of the screenplay , which incidently , does not incorporate much action sequences in the film , forced the filmmakers to "" cut a long story short "" and make it more of an action film than anything else ( it's still summer , and movies have to be "" marketable "" ) . 
the special effects too , are really nothing for anyone to shout about . 
at most , i would say the beast-men looked just a bit more realistic than those apes in planet of the apes . 
this h . g . wells classic really has potential to be a good film . 
unfortunately , after 2 adaptations , they still could not decide on how and what to focus their attention on to really bring out that important message which makes up the entire essence of the story . 
as a third outing , the island of dr . moreau 
accomplishes little and is nothing more than an inferior version of `the planet of the apes' . 
the flying inkpot rating system : * wait for the tv2 broadcast . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"-1","lengthy and lousy are two words to describe the boring drama the english patient . 
great acting , music and cinematography were nice , but too many dull sub-plots and characters made the film hard to follow . 
ralph fiennes ( strange days , schindler's list ) gives a gripping performance as count laszlo almasy , a victim of amnesia and horrible burns after world war ii in italy . 
the story revolves around his past , in flashback form , making it even more confusing . 
anyway , he is taken in by hana ( juliette binoche , the horseman on the roof ) , a boring war-torn nurse . 
she was never really made into anything , until she met an indian towards the end , developing yet another sub-plot . 
count almasy begins to remember what happened to him as it is explained by a stranger ( willem dafoe , basquiat ) . 
his love ( kirstin scott thomas , mission impossible ) was severely injured in a plane crash , and eventually died in a cave . 
he returned to find her dead and was heart-broken . 
so he flew her dead body somewhere , but was shot down from the ground . 
don't get the wrong idea , it may sound good and the trailer may be tempting , but good is the last thing this film is . 
maybe if it were an hour less , it may have been tolerable , but 2 hours and 40 minutes of talking is too much to handle . 
the only redeeming qualities about this film are the fine acting of fiennes and dafoe and the beautiful desert cinematography . 
other than these , the english patient is full of worthless scenes of boredom and wastes entirely too much film . 
 , 
"
"-1","out of sight director steven sorderbergh baffles the hell out of us all in the limey , a cold , uninvolving , confusing new thriller . 
though the plot description may at first seem like it came from the pen of elmore leonard ( author of out of sight , as well as jackie brown , get shorty and pulp fiction ) , after you watch it , you realize that it's not nearly good enough . 
in an aggressively non-linear fashion , the limey ( li * mey , noun : an english gentleman ) tells the story of wilson ( terrence stamp ) , a british ex-con just released from a 9 year stint in prison for armed robbery . 
he has come to the us to seek vengeance for the death of his daughter jenny . 
he doesn't know much about the circumstances of her demise , all he has is a name : terry valentine . 
valentine was jenny's former boyfriend , a wealthy and corrupt record executive . 
he's played by peter fonda , in his first major role since the terrific ulee's gold in 1997 . 
seeking valentine's reclusive place of residence turns out to be no easy task for wilson . 
he finally finds the impressive abode high in the mountains and sneaks in just as valentine is having a big party . 
he winds up breaking his cover eventually , setting off valentine's head of security and valentine himself , who decides to run for it . 
what a mess . 
i have no problem when films refuse to be constricted by the linearity of time -- pulp fiction , which twisted time every which way , was a masterpiece -- but i do take exception to movies that decide to play around with it for no reason other than to confuse the viewer . 
the limey does exactly that . 
the plot is permeated with flashbacks , flash-forwards and what can only be described as random time-travel , without any evident purpose . 
there is no method to this movie's madness . 
it uses a fancy way to tell a story that would be better off told more conventionally and more comprehendably . 
the plot isn't particularly interesting in the first place : traditional , mildly hackneyed and not very involving . 
this is a sort of brooding film -- our protagonist doesn't speak much and the action sequences are done with an annoyingly perfunctory attitude . 
i felt like the director wasn't very interested in the proceedings himself , almost like he made this film for a paycheck . 
ditto for the editing , which seems to be deliberately sloppy and unpleasant . 
sixties icon terrence stamp manages to at least be menacing as the aging criminal . 
he's not much in the way of stature but he has a surprisingly imposing physical presence that works to his advantage here . 
peter fonda is an unbelievably underrated actor : he's shy , quiet but always effective . 
he's adept at conveying emotions through speech rather than expression : his feelings don't always show on his face by you can always tell what they are . 
this is basically a conventional thriller told in a pretentiously bizarre fashion . 
why soderbergh couldn't just parrot down and tell a story , i don't know , but what he does do certainly doesn't work . 
the result is a wild cornucopia of images that amount to precisely nil -- even the action scenes don't work . 
1999 may have signified the death of the traditional act one - act two - act three storyline , but obviously some movies have not yet transcended it . 
shall we go back to basics ? 
"
"-1","a pseudo-intellectual film about the pseudo-intellectual world of art magazines , high art is as wasted as its drug-addled protagonists . 
in the only notable part of the movie , ally sheedy and radha mitchell deliver nice performances in the two leading roles , not that lisa cholodenko's script or direction makes you care much about either character . 
living in a world of heroin induced highs , they float along until they fall in love with each other . 
this uninviting picture , full of pretentious minor characters , has a receptionist that reads dostoevski and a woman in the restroom line who is a certified genius , having recently been awarded a prestigious mcarthur grant . 
24-year-old syd ( radha mitchell ) , who has a rather bland , live-in boyfriend , was just promoted to assistant editor at the artistic photography magazine "" frame . "" 
although the receptionist is impressed , syd is mainly a gofer for her boss until she meets famous photographer lucy berliner ( ally sheedy ) . 
for her to do photos for "" frame , "" lucy demands that syd be promoted to editor and assigned to her since lucy fancies her . 
lucy lives with her current lover , a washed up german actress named greta , played with a frequently indecipherable series of mumbles by patricia clarkson . 
the two of them and their friends wile away their time snorting and shooting up dope , usually heroin . 
this does not happen in a single episode , but becomes more commonplace than sleeping in the picture . 
syd , who lives in the apartment below them , joins in on the fun and becomes a member of the zombie club . 
lucy seems pretty happy with her life of drugs , which apparently is funded by her mother . 
lucy quit working professionally 10 years ago since she thought she was being "" pigeonholed , "" and , since her mother has money , we can only assume that that's how lucy supports her habit and procures her living expenses . 
a typical scene has the editors arguing about whether a potential photographer's work is transcendental or merely classical . 
that no one has a clue as to the dogma they are spouting becomes obvious but not particularly funny . 
 "" your work has a cultural currency that is important now , "" is the artist-speak that the frame's manager uses to convince lucy to show her pictures in the magazine . 
when the big scene comes in which lucy puts the moves on syd , her idea of a romantic line is , "" i want to get high with you . "" 
in lucy's world , sex and drugs come hand-in-hand . 
and the movie , except for the obligatory scene of someone almost overdosing , shows drug usage as being a hip and natural part of the art scene . 
this vacuous picture throws in a standard downer ending in an attempt to manipulate our emotions . 
in another movie , it might have worked , but in this one the reaction is likely to be decidedly muted . 
high art runs 1 : 36 . 
it is rated r for explicit sex , pervasive drug use and language and is not appropriate for those younger than college age . 
"
"-1"," "" party camp , "" is one of the most mindnumbingly brainless comedies i've seen in awhile . 
a late rip-off of the "" meatballs "" series , the film follows a group of young camp counselors at camp chipmunk . 
that's really about all that can be said about the "" plot "" because nothing much happens , except that the main character , wise-cracking jerry ( andrew ross ) , has the hots for a cute blonde ( kerry brennan ) , and there is a big contest in the climax . 
how fun ! 
since , "" party camp , "" has practically no screenplay and there is no talent at all involved , the least the makers could have done was make it raunchy and exploitative . 
it's not that i think exploitation is necessarily a good quality , but when you are talking about a dull turkey like this , the least that could have been done would be to fill it with a lot of mindless sex . 
even a psychopathic slasher at the camp would have done the trick . 
at least , then , it wouldn't have been such a chore to sit through . 
never before have i seen so many jokes fall astoundingly flat . 
the comedy was easy to spot , but it wasn't the least bit funny . 
it was groan-inducing . 
constantly throghout , i was asking myself if director gary graver actually thought this movie was worth anything . 
so what saves , "" party camp , "" from the dreaded zero star rating ? 
well , that's simple : jewel shepard , as a flighty bimbo , was admittedly fun to watch . 
although nothing could have saved this film from the lowest depths of motion picture trash , at least if the film had centered on shepard , she might have been able to add a little spice to an otherwise rancid , low-budget teen comedy . 
"
"-1","i'm currently accepting all future names for drew barrymore characters . 
in _the wedding singer_ , she was julia gulia . 
in _never been kissed_ , she's josie grossie . 
future db character names include : janet granite , janey grainy , and for that nc-17 project in the works , jo-jo . . . 
aw forget it . 
i'll stick to my day job . 
this is a teen movie , all right , except the main characters aren't teens . 
drew barrymore is a copy editor at the chicago sun times who gets her big break as a reporter , only it's very clear from the onset that she lacks the toughness and the pushy extravertedness that marks the best of reporters . 
the story she's covering is not really a story , but a story in the making . 
she is to return to high school as a student and explain what's really going on . 
the irony is that drew's character , was such a dweeb first time around , that she is terrified at going back . 
when she does , she says the wrong things , wears the wrong clothes , and projects the "" i know the answer "" in class that popular kids ( or at least popular kids in the movies ) reject . 
at least she befriends nerdy aldys ( joan of arc's leelee sobieski--watch for her ) , who turns out to be more beautiful than those who are "" supposed "" to be more beautiful than her . 
what works : drew's geeky old-self . 
after a start in films that was headline driven , and a nadir of roles that had her play the sluttish character , it's a surprise to see her with bad hair , big glasses and braces . 
it's very funny . 
what doesn't work : drew's geeky new-self . 
come on . 
nobody dresses as bad as she does . 
couldn't she just go to _the gap_ and take suggestions ? 
had she dressed like princess leia it would have been better . 
the comedy is supposed to progress when drew's younger brother ( played with zest by david arquette ) reenlists to jump-start his baseball career . 
now , how in the world can somebody as nerdy ( but in a funny way ) as he can be the most popular kid in the school . . . 
in a day ? ! 
the dialogue in the film is , well , an embarrassment . 
her co-workers ( molly shannon , john c . reilly and gary marshall ) are in terminal hyper-drive . 
her teenage peers ( except sobieski ) are so inept and stupid that there's little bite from them . 
couldn't the filmmakers watch _heathers_ first ? 
lastly , i am proud to say that i caught a significant gaffe in the film . 
if you see the film , you'd know what i'm talking about : 
drew walks into a bar , has her hand stamped , and over the night associates with some rastafarians with some delicious , um , cake . 
she goes wild , sleeps in late . 
when she wakes , she rushes off to school , without showering , without noticing that her head , lying on her stamped hand all night , has transferred part of the stamp's image to her forehead , spelling "" loser "" . 
funny , eh ? 
 . . . except that the hand would have transferred that image backwords . 
"
"-1","when it comes to the average teenage romantic comedy , i expect negative reviews from critics left and right . 
predictable , unoriginal , and forgettable will most likely be the three adjectives to haunt the down to you's and the drive me crazy's released by the dozens these last couple of years . 
what i really look for in this kind of movie is the entertainment value while i'm sitting in the theater . 
am i enjoying myself ? 
is this a comfortable break from my week of finals ? 
this is why i have given films like final destination or road trip high marks ; i had a party of a time wasting my money on something i won't remember next week . 
so last week i opened up the new york times - and , no surprise , boys and girls got a negative review . 
daily news ? 
negative . 
reelviews ? 
negative . 
epinions . com ? 
negative . 
this was nothing new . 
american pie , final destination , road trip didn't get such hot reviews and i loved those guilty pleasures . 
same goes for she's all that , a formulaic but enjoyable pygmalion adaptation that got unjustly pounded . 
since boys and girls reunites she's all that director robert iscove and actor freddie prinze jr . , i predicted d ? j ? vu al over again . 
but , still curious , i asked around my school and from the one or two people who had seen it , the reactions were far from positive . 
i had made up my mind ; i'll catch it on video or cable in a couple of years . 
but , soon after , following a series of unexpected events ( we couldn't get into shaft because it is rated r ) , i found myself watching boys and girls . 
whoops . 
boys and girls is about a "" nerdy , smart "" boy named ryan ( prinze jr . ) and a "" popular , flirt "" girl named jennifer ( claire forlani ) . 
briefly meeting as pre-teens and now attending the same college , the two bump into each other so many times that eventually they become best friends . 
but in the movies , a male and a female cannot be friends without having that nagging feeling of attraction for each other . 
with advice from their roommates ( amanda detmer , jason biggs ) , ryan and jennifer attempt to discover the true meaning of their relationship . 
the film definitely lives up to the dreaded three adjectives - and mindless entertainment is nowhere to be found . 
i could hardly sit through the 93 minute running time for several reasons . 
the dialogue is probably the worst i have ever seen in any movie , mainly because the whole movie depends on the boring script and the ridiculous words these characters use is what hollywood thinks kids can relate to . 
it is almost offensive . 
an example of an insightful conversation : 
 "" you're dumb . 
dumb , dumb , dumb , dumb . "" 
 "" no . "" 
 ( followed by a mandy moore-esque tune background ) 
 ( well it's not as bad as wing commander i guess ) 
the supporting cast is also painfully useless . 
detmer and biggs stand in the way for anything interesting to happen with their own boring , pointless subplots . 
and although this is supposed to be from both perspectives of the human sex , prinze jr's ryan dominates the screen while forlani's jennifer simply acts as a dilemma for him to work with . 
we never learn anything about jennifer which is a shame too because forlani is the only actor to bring any life into her character . 
teenager or not : you'll hate this movie , i guarantee it . 
maybe i should rent she's all that again . 
is it really as good as i think it is ? 
"
"-1","all through its production and into the early days of its initial , aborted pre-release publicity , hard rain bore the appropriate moniker of the flood . 
ultimately , however , paramount pictures , nervous that this movie would be confused with 1996's other , underperforming disaster films ( dante's peak , volcano ) , changed the title and shifted the release date by nearly a year . 
but , to paraphrase the bard , swill , by any other name , would smell as rank . 
no number of name changes can help this picture . 
it's not just about a disaster , it is a disaster . 
hard rain is the case of a movie that gets progressively worse with every passing minute . 
the best shot occurs during the opening credits , as the camera pans over the streets and byways of huntingburg , indiana as the water level slowly rises . 
the community , protected by an overworked dam , is being evacuated as the rain continues to pour relentlessly from the cloud-choked skies . 
from that moment on , it's all downhill . 
whatever initial entertainment value the film possesses has long since drained away by the halfway point . 
it takes forever to get to the end credits -- this is one of the longest-seeming 95-minute motion pictures i have recently endured . 
basically , hard rain is one extended , dull chase sequence punctuated by occasional shoot-outs . 
there's a lot of water , broken glass , gunfire , and explosions . 
it's all very routine and uninteresting because there aren't any real characters and the plot only occasionally makes sense . 
the film's conclusion is so preposterous that it's almost worth watching for the sheer masochistic enjoyment of seeing the monumentally idiotic way that the film makers decide to resolve the myriad subplots that are floating around . 
action films are supposed to become progressively more invigorating as they rush towards a conclusion . 
graham yost , the writer of both speed and hard rain , surely understands that principle . 
unfortunately , neither he , nor cinematographer-turned-director mikael salomon ( a far off place ) , applies it . 
the action in hard rain grows tedious through repetition . 
we see the same kinds of things -- speedboat chases , flood damage , shoot-outs , etc . -- over and over again . 
the movie constantly recycles about twenty minutes worth of material to pad the running time out to an acceptable movie length . 
the storyline gives us a number of paper-thin characters in contrived circumstances . 
there's tom ( christian slater ) , the one- dimensional action hero who works as a security guard driving an armored car full of cash . 
he and his partner , charlie ( edward asner , tv's "" lou grant "" ) , get stuck on a street that's rapidly turning into a river . 
a group of men , led by jimmy ( morgan freeman ) , arrive on the scene not as rescuers but as robbers . 
after charlie is killed in a shoot-out , tom hides the money , then runs . 
as he swims and boats his way through huntingburg's roads , he encounters some of the locals : karen ( minnie driver ) , a would-be love interest ; a bickering old couple ( richard dysart and betty white ) , who are on hand to provide comic relief ; and the easily-corrupted sheriff ( randy quaid ) , whose seeming helpfulness hides sinister ulterior motives . 
there isn't any real acting in this film . 
christian slater utters a few lame one-liners and does a lot of mugging for the camera . 
tom is easily one of the most lifeless characters the actor has brought to the screen . 
randy quaid sneers a lot , and is totally unconvincing . 
morgan freeman and minnie driver both attempt to give legitimate performances , but they are defeated by the script . 
freeman , one of the best cinematic thespians working today , looks suitably embarrassed to be here , but i suppose everyone needs a good paycheck from time-to-time . 
following in the wake of twister , this is yet another natural disaster movie that doesn't trust nature's fury as the chief engine of conflict . 
as a result , we are saddled with an idiotic good guys/bad guys story that effectively ruins any potential that the flood tale could have had . 
titanic proved that there can be a wealth of drama in a movie where everything goes under water . 
hard rain successfully demonstrates that the opposite is equally possible . 
thus far this year , hollywood has already subjected us to its unique brand of moronic mayhem by fire ( firestorm ) and water ( hard rain ) . 
fortunately , there are only two elements left . 
"
"-1","instinct is the kind of movie that inexperienced moviegoers will undoubtedly label as "" powerful "" or "" touching "" . 
i have a name for it myself : "" gross "" . 
this is the sort of film where somebody stands up to a bully , the bully looks at the "" rebel "" threateningly , about to hurt him , and then everyone else whom the bully has heretofore controlled stands up too . 
how that scene is still present in so many movies today appalls me : aren't present day moviegoers beyond being "" inspired "" by something like that ? 
this is one example ( there are actually some more in instinct alone ) of filmmakers insulting the audience's intelligence . 
instinct's plot is brimming with potential : world-renowned anthropologist ethan powell ( anthony hopkins ) disappeared for two years whilst doing research in the jungles of africa . 
he was found and is coming back to the united states a convicted killer ; he murdered to african policemen who were allegedly trying to capture him . 
after committing a few more brutal acts of violence in the airport , the authorities stick him in a prison's "" psychotics ward "" . 
assigned to do an evaluation on powell is a bright ( or so we are told ) young psychiatrist theo caulder ( cuba gooding jr . ) . 
caulder starts out doing the evaluation merely for the purpose of furthering his career . 
of course ( and no mainstream filmmaker would ever have it any other way ) he starts really caring for powell and he becomes fixed on helping powell prove that he is not a psychotic and that he should not be in prison . 
and then there's the inevitable "" heartless meanie "" character , in the form of donald sutherland who plays caulder's mentor . 
he cares for caulder but does everything he can to discourage him from helping powell . 
let's get one thing straight : dr . theo caulder is the most blatantly incompetent psychiatrist i have ever seen , on screen or off . 
any good shrink will listen to what his patient has to say no matter the subject because any good shrink will learn a great deal about his patient that way . 
not good old theo . 
no , he asks purposefully pointed questions and when powell dares to venture to another subject caulder says "" we need to talk about this right now . "" 
this is a flaw only in the sense that it detracts from instinct's already dubious credibility ; unfortunately it's also the least of its problems . 
director jon turteltaub , who made the delightful john travolta vehicle phenomenon as well as the surprisingly above-par cool runnings decided to make this movie so shamelessly sentimental that , contrary to what this movie's promotion would have you believe , it has much more in common with patch adams than with the silence of the lambs . 
it's not the kind of sentimentality that can almost bring tears to your eyes ( what dreams may come aptly demonstrated that ) but the kind that brings vomit up your esophagus ( excuse the graphic depiction ) . 
it aims to "" inspire "" rather than to touch hearts . 
as yoda would say , inspire it does not . 
it is the ultimate sign of futility when a screenwriter ( the very experienced gerald di pego ) has to resort to literally telling the audience a movie's story . 
indeed , somewhere in the beginning of instinct , one of the characters actually reads aloud the film's plot to another character . 
this , like the instance i mentioned in the first paragraph of this review , is a horrid insult to our intelligence . 
i am forced to wonder whether turteltaub and di pego did not think that we could figure out what instinct is about simply from regular conversation . 
i think that anthony hopkins is one of the greatest screen actors , and he chews the scenery in this movie , brilliant as ever . 
oscar winner cuba gooding jr . on the other hand is dreadful . 
his performance is at least part of what makes his character seem so incapable of being a shrink . 
i liked the guy in jerry maguire as well as in as good as it gets but here he fails to project any shred of credibility or real feeling . 
i love animals , and instinct's prominent save the gorillas/live in harmony with nature theme is certainly something i could sympathize with . 
however this movie's execution is completely unacceptable . 
tone down the violence and this will be a chick flick . 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov 
"
"-1","sydney lumet is the director whose work happens to be of varied quality . 
he is praised for some of the most important films of the previous decades , like twelve angry men , serpico or the verdict . 
but , in the same time , almost any of such pearls is followed by stinkers that hamper lumet's reputation . 
a stranger among us , 1992 rip-off of peter weir's witness , belongs to the latter category . 
the heroine of this movie is emily eden ( melanie griffith ) , tough lady cop who sometimes shows too much enthusiasm in battling bad guys on the streets of new york . 
during one of such actions , her partner nick ( jamey sheridan ) got hurt and as a result , she becomes depressed . 
in order to help her recover , bosses give her rather easy task of locating missing jeweller who belonged to hassidic jew community . 
emily starts investigation and soon realises that the case involves murder . 
concluding that the perpetrator belongs to community , she decides to go undercover . 
that isn't easy , because her modern manners are colliding with traditionalist ways . 
things get even more complicated when she develops feelings for young cabalistic scholar ariel ( eric thal ) . 
using peter weir's formula isn't the greatest flaw of this film . 
even the lame and unispiring crime mystery subplot works to the certain extent . 
but the worst insult to viewer's audience is terrible miscasting of melanie griffith . 
the author of this review never liked this actress very much , but she was at least tolerable in some of her roles . 
role of emily eden , unfortunately , isn't one of them . 
first of all , she can't pass for tough nypd street fighter , and her attempt to pass for orthodox jewish woman isn't much better . 
screenplay by robert j . avrech makes things even worse with some formulaic red herring subplots ( scene involving two italian gangsters was almost too painful to watch ) . 
but , on the other hand , other actors are more convincing ( lee richardson as an old rabbi , thal as ariel and charming mia sara as his intended bride ) , and the photography by andrzej bartkowiak very effectively creates atmosphere of warmth when the scenes take place in hassidic community . 
also , the film might educate viewers about hassidic culture . 
that is the only thing that prevents it from turning into total waste of time . 
"
"-1"," "" the world on land -- it's just too big for me . "" 
starring tim roth , pruitt taylor vince , bill nunn , clarence williams iii . 
rated r . 
the legend of 1900s is the year's most absurd movie , a rambling , nonsensical piece of seafaring garbage that goes nowhere fast . 
it stars thespian extraordinaire tim roth , looking wistful as ever , as a guy named . . . 
1900 . 
you heard right . 
his name is , in all actuality , 1900 . 
he was born on an ocean liner on 1/1/1900 ( uh , hence the name ) , abandoned and adopted by danny , a ship crewman . 
1900 spends most of his early years hiding in the bowels of the ship because of danny's fear that he might be taken away from him because of "" visa matters . "" 
well , when 1900 is about 9 or so , he starts wondering all around the ship . 
one day , he discovers a grand piano . 
he sits down and starts playing . 
miraculously , what comes out is beautiful . 
a group of onlookers gathers to watch this stunning prodigy make such amazing music at such a young age . 
when one of the people who knows 1900 tells him that his playing the piano like that without permission is "" totally against regulations "" 1900 replies "" f * ck the regulations ! "" 
ho ho ho . 
1900 grows up never setting foot on dry land . 
when he's about 30ish and can play the piano like nobody's business , onboard comes another musician . 
his name is max ( pruitt taylor vince ) and he plays the trumpet . 
after 1900 catches max barfing everywhere during a storm , he sits him down on the piano next to him , takes the piano's braces off and plays while the piano flies all around the hall , taking them with it . 
how the chair they're sitting on and the piano don't separate , i don't know , but this apparently isn't the kind of thing we're supposed to ask . 
after that , 1900 and max become friends . 
max is determined to get 1900 off the ship and discover what he is missing on land , but 1900 has no intention of doing so . 
what's more , he doesn't even want his music to go anywhere without him : when a record company hears about his talents , they come on board to make a record of his music , but after finding out that -- gasp ! 
-- they're going to make millions of copies , he breaks the record . 
the conflict of the movie is that after max , unsuccessful in his endeavor to get 1900 off the ship , gets off himself , he stumbles upon a record of 1900's music in a store . 
the record shouldn't exist because a ) 1900 never stepped on dry land and b ) the one record that was made on the ship was broken . 
ladies and gentlemen , it's a mystery ! 
the story itself is ludicrous and uninteresting and so are its elements . 
we're supposed to be roused by a climactic . . . 
piano duel ? 
there isn't anything in this movie with the potential to compel . 
1900 comes off as a whiny , brooding , extremely unlikable man : i can't recall a single word he said that was not some sort of depressing pseudo- meditation on life . 
ditto for max , who doesn't seem to have a life outside his friendship with 1900 . 
tim roth plays 1900 with about as much panache as a fig leaf ; there's no spirit , no gusto to the character . 
he insists that he leads a happy life on the ship , but to us he is dead . 
pruitt taylor vince is a little more palatable , at least providing a moment of comic relief here and there to liven things up a bit . 
the highlight of the movie would have to be the eminently amusing clarence williams the iii as the arrogant , leering "" king of jazz "" who challenges 1900 to the aforementioned piano duel . 
the legend of 1900 was made by giuseppe tornatore , whose 1988 cinema paradiso is considered a masterpiece by many . 
this effort is utterly limp and lifeless . 
at once ridiculous , boring , narrow-sighted and pointless , this is one movie that should be -- and will be -- quickly forgotten . 
"
"-1","my giant is two movies for the price of one , but neither is worth the cost of admission , even if you get in free . 
as lamely directed by michael lehmann , the picture tries to be a comedy by using and reusing every giant joke in the book . 
 ( "" without goliath , david is just some punk throwing rocks . "" ) 
languidly paced throughout , the movie becomes increasingly lugubrious as the screenplay by david seltzer ( the omen ) meanders toward its sad ending . 
since it's rarely funny or convincingly dramatic , what the filmmakers thought they were doing remains a mystery . 
other than a few nice visuals , there's nothing to recommend the picture . 
with great film comedies under his belt from when harry met sally ? to the original city slickers , billy crystal has shown that he's more than the world's best oscar host . 
he does , however , have a propensity for choosing hopeless material as in last year's father's day and this year's my giant . 
one wonders if he reads the script before agreeing to go ahead with a project . 
surely reading the one for my giant would have shown that there was nothing there . 
perhaps he thought he could ad lib it into success . 
or maybe he wants to be a dramatic actor and thought he could do something serious with the movie's somber tone . 
the most charitable thing that could be said about it is that it is so ineffectual that people will probably forget they saw it by the next day . 
this one-joke movie's single idea is to place real-life basketball player gheorghe muresan , who stands seven and a half feet tall , into as many visually striking situations as possible . 
sammy ( crystal ) , an agent currently without clients , is rescued after a car accident by a sweet romanian giant named max ( muresan ) . 
after throwing out constant one-liners ( "" either god is in the salvage business or big foot just took my car . "" ) , 
sammy decides to get serious , seeing max as his meal ticket . 
and although he doesn't like it , he's willing to sign max up to do disgusting events like a wrestling match with a half-dozen dwarfs . 
 ( the movie itself knows no bounds as it contains one of the most putrid and lengthy vomiting scenes ever . ) 
after a series of missed opportunities , the comedic part of the movie is over , and it turns into a cheap and maudlin disease movie . 
we learn that max's condition is terminal , and he will soon die . 
to be fair , the movie does contain a few good scenes - all of which you can see in the trailers . 
let's hope billy gets himself a pair of reading glasses before he signs up for another movie . 
my giant runs too long even at just 1 : 37 . 
it is rated pg for violence and profanity and would be acceptable for kids around ten and up . 
my son jeffrey and his friend matthew , both 9 , gave the movie a single star and had nothing good to say about it . 
matthew pointed out that it "" is not as good as it could have been or should have been . "" 
 ( amen . ) 
he went on to comment that he did not like the way the movie changed completely in the middle . 
jeffrey complained particularly about how gross the movie was . 
"
"-1","talk about a movie that seemed dated before it even hit the theaters ! 
spice world is the feature film debut of the pre-fabricated pop band , the spice girls . 
it's intended as a sort of hard day's night , but ends up simply hard to watch . 
when watching the spice girls , i'm reminded of an old saturday morning cartoon trick ( such as from the smurfs , the snorks , or teenage mutant ninja turtles ) in which identically animated creatures are differentiated into characters merely by one personality quirk and a different name . 
the spice girls are themselves as interchangable as pringles , and about as talented . 
there's ginger ( geri halliwell ) , the brainy one , sporty ( melanie chisholm ) , the athletic one , baby ( emma bunton ) , the childish one , posh ( victoria adams ) , the fashion-conscious one , and scary ( melanie brown ) , the one with a tongue pierced back so far you're almost certain the post sticks out her throat . 
the film itself doesn't really have a plot . 
it follows the girls as they travel here and there , culminating at their "" first live performance "" at albert hall . 
the action , however , seems more like a hodgepodge of mismatched ideas . 
the various misfires include : an alien encounter , a fiendish tabloid editor scheming to wreck the spice girls , the shooting of a spice girls documentary , a movie producer ( george wendt ) trying to pitch various ideas for a spice girls movie ( nearly all of which , though incredibly far fetched , seem more plausible than the mess with which they ended up ) , a meeting with a pregnant friend ( whose sole purpose seems to be to maintain the film maxim that all pregnant characters must give birth before the movie ends ) , a boating adventure , a bus race , club-hopping ( wherein apparently no one notices the famous spice girls among the crowd . . . even 
when they start to sing ) , and an assorted number of musical performances , press conferences , and general all-around celebrity stuff . 
whew . 
for some reason , the film is littered with star cameos . 
from elton john to elvis costello , from bob hoskins to meat loaf . 
heck , even roger moore shows up , though he can't decide if he's parodying himself as james bond , or if he's lobbying to be the reincarnation of ernst stavro blofeld . 
richard e . grant has the largest secondary part , a thankless role of the band's manager , clifford . 
the celebrity spotting is partially amusing , and a decent way to pass the time when confronted with the rest of the film . 
neither amusing or spontaneous , when the spice girls are between songs they are deadly boring . 
their songs are alright , but they play like lifeless adaptations of the music videos . 
my advice to fans is : stay home and watch that video collection , or at least spin that cd a couple of more times . . . either 
option will be more enjoyable than the film . 
non-fans should know to stay well away from this one . 
"
"-1","this feature is like a double header , two sets of clich ? s for the price of one . 
not only do we get the usual tired sports chestnuts , but the banal rich girl-poor boy love story is tossed in for good measure . 
an original moment in this loser is as rare as a chicago cubs world series appearance . 
the screenplay by kevin falls and john gatins , based on a story by falls , merely lobs its plotline at the audience . 
this is a story that needed sent down for seasoning and more coaching . 
summer catch centers around ryan dunne ( freddie prinze jr . ) , a cape cod youth chosen to participate in the prestigious cape cod baseball league , supposedly a showcase for the best young amateur and college players in the country . 
ryan is a blue-collar kind of guy . 
he works with his dad taking care of the lawns of cape cod's rich and famous . 
he also , as we are informed early , his own worst enemy . 
he has the potential and the talent , but always seems to self-destruct at the crucial moment . 
so , ryan tries to remained focused on baseball . 
then he meets tenley parrish ( jessica biel ) , daughter of one of the blue bloods whose lawn he manicures . 
tenley , a name only a hack screenwriter could invent , is unlike her snobbish counterparts and falls for ryan . 
if you can't figure out where all this nonsense leads , then you need a remedial course in film viewing . 
as always prinze is pretty to look at , but his performance mainly consists of facial expressions : puppy dog love , heartbreak , frustration , self-loathing or determination . 
biel cries a lot , while bruce davison merely acts smarmy as her class-conscious father . 
the only beacon is matthew lillard's fun-loving billy brubaker , the team's catcher . 
summer catch borrows situations and stylings from other baseball movies , such as bull durham and the natural . 
no curve balls here , no sliders . 
every pitch is predictable . 
a blind umpire could call this movie . 
summer catch is strictly rookie league moviemaking . 
it has as much chance of making the movie hall of fame as the dodgers have of moving back to brooklyn . 
"
"-1","one of the responses those that enjoy "" detroit rock city "" ( probably kiss fans , mostly ) might have upon first glance at the rating i've given the film might be something like : "" oh , that casey's gone and become a jaded critic on us . 
just what did he expect out of a dumb teenage rock n' roll movie like this ? "" 
i'm wondering the same thing . 
i feel like i should have had a grand time with "" detroit rock city . "" 
it's the sort of movie i wish i could've had a lot of fun with , but i didn't . 
i just didn't . 
surely this film isn't trying to win any major awards , so should i have expected an oscar-caliber film ? 
no , but i expected something . 
a funny joke . 
a clever prank . 
a plot development . 
anything . 
the movie never delivers . 
you've got to marvel at how the filmmakers managed to come up with a movie that is truly about nothing . 
 "" detroit rock city "" is one of those films that you walk out of after the credits have rolled and realize that you just spent 90 minutes watching a movie in which absolutely nothing happened to justify the film's existence , and it's not a very satisfying realization . 
the film is about four teenage boys , all huge kiss fans from cleveland , trying to get into a kiss concert in detroit , michigan . 
that's it . 
there is no big plot description in this review , because the movie has very little plot . 
the characters are hawk ( edward furlong ) , lex ( giuseppe andrews ) , trip ( james debello ) , and jam ( sam huntington ) . 
they have a garage band . 
they're pathetic , like all garage bands , but they like kiss and they like rock n' roll , so i guess that means we root for them . 
they have tickets , they lose them . 
they get more tickets , they lose those too . 
they come up with crazy schemes to get tickets , most of which backfire . 
there's not much more to it . 
frankly , it becomes a little less than exciting to see them try to get kiss tickets about halfway through the film , when a total of eight tickets have already graced the boys' hands , only to be lost because of their sheer stupidity . 
oh , and jam ( real name jeremiah ) has a really , really annoying ultra-religious mother who ought to be reported to the child welfare agency . 
she doesn't want them to see kiss , if you hadn't figured that out already . 
it's really quite disheartening to see such a fine soundtrack go to waste in a pointless movie like this . 
we've got plenty of kiss , along with some ac/dc , ramones , and thin lizzy . 
then again , "" maximum overdrive "" had an awesome soundtrack ( me being the big ac/dc fan that i am ) , but is probably one of the worst movies of all time . 
 "" detroit rock city "" doesn't quite reach that level of ineptitude , but it gets dangerously close . 
in fact , the music is the only thing that keeps this movie from being a complete failure in my mind . 
basically , the soundtrack has earned the film a full half-star , which means all the bands involved can pat themselves on the back ( except for marilyn manson , whose half-hearted cover of ac/dc's "" highway to hell "" sounds like something my neighbor's cat coughed up ) . 
it's also really sad to see the talents of the cast go to waste , because it' s evident that they're all trying really hard to squeeze some life out of this dead turkey of a movie . 
edward furlong has done far better work than this , and so has natasha lyonne , and so has lin shaye , but hey , they've got to make a living in hollywood . 
people wanting to see kiss , and lots of it will probably be disappointed , considering the band appears for about five minutes and plays one song . 
too bad , they might have provided some energy to this mess . 
director adam rifkin knows he hasn't got much material to work with , so he takes a chapter from the michael bay book of directing and keeps his camera spinning . 
we get an endless parade of quick-cuts , split-screens , zoom-outs , zoom-ins , and rotating cameras , all in an effort to cover up the sheer stupidity of the script . 
it's fun for a while , but eventually it becomes disorienting . 
i would recommend that those who felt seasick at "" the blair witch project "" stay far away from "" detroit rock city , "" because the witch has got nothing on this baby . 
i haven't felt such an urge to reach out and hold the camera still since "" armageddon . "" 
and what about that script ? 
it's written by carl j . dupr ? , which sounds like as made-up a name as i've ever heard . 
if it is , i can't say i blame the writer for distancing himself as far from this script as possible . 
a plotless , pointless rock n' roll movie can be fun , if the jokes and gags are actually funny . 
the jokes in "" detroit rock city "" rarely are . 
in fact , the only time i really laughed was when a priest gets stoned on a marijuana-laced pizza , and that was just because it was so surreal . 
the rest of the movie just seems like they just threw a bunch of vulgar stuff up on screen and called it "" comedy . "" 
there is no set-up , just a succession of punchlines that don't provide for much in the way of chuckles , precisely because there was no set-up . 
it's as if they just whacked someone on the head , pointed at him and said , "" see ? 
funny ! "" 
look , that woman was so shocked by hearing loud kiss music that she spilled her drink . 
see ? 
funny ! 
look , that guy just got clocked by a telephone receiver . 
twice . 
see ? 
funny ! 
look , that kid has been vomiting for 20 minutes after drinking an inordinate amount of alcohol and is now about to perform an exotic dance for money . 
see ? 
funny ! 
a word of advice to mr . dupr ? : no , these things aren't funny all by themselves . 
they must be preceded by a clever set-up so the audience hasn 't predicted them five minutes in advance . 
that's it , i've said enough about this movie . 
it's a waste of time and money . 
i liked the music , but don't bother buying the soundtrack . 
i hear it' s just modern bands doing inferior versions of the songs that are actually in the movie . 
you want to see this concept executed well ? 
go rent roger corman's 1979 classic "" rock n' roll high school . "" 
it features another late-seventies rock band ( the ramones ) and a far more interesting story about a girl trying to get tickets to their show . 
yes , go rent that , and skip "" detroit rock city , "" which will probably bomb , and deservedly so . 
"
"-1","has it really been two decades since walter matthau coached the bad news bears ? 
nineteen years and two mighty ducks later , the formula is still going strong . 
police academy graduate steve guttenberg stars as a small-town deputy sheriff corralled into co-coaching the school's hastily formed soccer team . 
his partner-in-crime is the new british "" exchange teacher "" ( olivia d'abo ) , a lively lass who has obviously seen dangerous minds and knows that the best way to gain the respect of a disinterested , outer-city audience is to teach them something neat . 
like soccer . 
most of the good-natured gags are of the fast-motion variety , such as runaway cows and out-of-control lawnmowers . 
kids will laugh at the occasional belching bit , while their parents peacefully doze beside them . 
other than letting a supporting character named newt go unscathed , what's missing from the big green is a better integration of music and comedy . 
instead of a peppy pop score , which would arguably work to better effect , most of the action is set to a bombastic orchestral score that belongs somewhere else . 
comedy needs music . 
just watch any old bugs bunny short . 
the marx brothers knew it . 
mel brooks knows it . 
unfortunately , the current trend is to "" overscore . "" 
lush strings and booming brass in every scene , at every moment . 
remember the simple strains of bizet's "" habanera "" in the original bad news bears ? 
these days , it's usually a bellowing fanfare that threatens to smother every scene in its path . 
much like adding frosting to already frosted cake . 
an awfully big adventure ======================== 
the reteaming of director mike newell and star hugh grant is about as far removed as you can get from the lightsome comedy of four weddings and a funeral . 
their second collaboration is a downbeat theatrical drama about a young intern ( georgina cates ) struggling to survive in post-w . w . ii 
liverpool . 
hugh plays the gay director , an * extremely * unappealing character who may alienate whatever fans are left after the nonsense of nine months . 
bleak make-up and thick accents conspire to make this a difficult story to settle into . 
an awful adventure is not without * some * rewards , tho . 
the peter pan subtext is intriguing . 
as is the diverse ensemble cast that includes peter firth , alan rickman , and prunella scales . 
basil ! 
devil in a blue dress ===================== 
the comparisons to chinatown are easy enough , except for the fact that this film isn't nearly as gripping . 
writer/director carl franklin ( one false move ) is the force behind this accomplished-but-stiff adaptation of walter mosley's crime novel . 
denzel washington is as sturdy as ever , but he's burdened with a miscast supporting cast . 
tom sizemore and scene-stealer don cheadle are both fine . 
the problems start with jennifer beales , who never registers as the plot's femme fatale . 
she's a pretty face and nothing more . 
also underweight are maury chaykin and terry kinney . 
they play opposing mayoral candidates in 1948 los angeles and neither actor commands enough authority to stifle giggles . 
john huston , we miss you ! 
fine period detail and a strong sense of humor are a plus . 
they help to overcome a pace that's too polite for mosley's jazzy , swingin' story . 
steal big , steal little ======================= 
i can't say much about this one . 
director andrew davis follows the fugitive with a wildly unfunny farce about twin brothers ( andy garcia ) with opposing moral codes . 
they're fighting over their adoptive mother's estate , a 40 , 000-acre ranch worth millions and supporting dozens of migrant farm workers . 
so many different plots are trying to come together--feuding brothers , reconciling husbands , loan-shark hired hitmen--that you have to admire the director's ambition . 
too bad that almost every single person or plot-line is out of sync . 
that is , with the exception of alan arkin . 
he's the best thing in a movie that--despite the work of four credited writers-- * still * manages to waste such diverse talents as david odgen stiers , kevin mccarthy , and joe pantolinao . 
and what the heck does that title mean ? 
"
"-1","funny how your expectations can be defeated , and not in good ways . 
the ghost and the darkness promised ( at least , it seemed to me to promise ) a hemingwayesque showdown between men and nature . 
what it delivered was mystery science theater 3000-level material -- an inadvertently hilarious story that made me scream advice at the characters . 
 "" get new jobs ! "" 
was one line , if i remember correctly . 
at the end of the 19th century , col . patterson ( val kilmer , whose irish accent comes and goes like an african zephyr ) is an engineer who has been hired to build a british railway bridge across the tsavo river in uganda . 
he is having immensely stereotypical problems : the natives are restless , his boss is a jerk , and now two man-eating lions are stalking the work camp and killing people off . 
patterson tries to handle the situation himself , incompetently , and then turns to charles remington ( michael douglas ) , a hunter of world reknown ( or something like that ) . 
the movie stacks the deck so heavily in favor of the lions , they should have gotten top billing and co-starred with siegfried and roy . 
they are nigh-invulnerable , as one comic book put it , and this is of course just the excuse the movie needs to have one native after another stepping forth to solmenly recite lines about the power of nature . 
give me a break . 
the movie hasn't got the wherewithal to even begin to exploit such ideas ; it's just trying to find convenient ways to stall us . 
even the lion hunts themselves are idiotic . 
get this : remington's big plan is to build a large scaffold-like structure in the middle of the savannah , sit on it , and wait for the lion to show up . 
he does this , and then gets knocked off by a bird . 
by the end of the movie , the blood vessels in my palm were all broken open from me pounding my forehead with my hand . 
the acting is forgettable . 
douglas does a good job of portraying a relatively cracked fellow , but it's nothing he hasn't done before . 
kilmer looks like he wishes he were someone else , somewhere else , and the rest vanish into the cinematography . 
the camera , by the way , sometimes behaves so stupidly all by itself that most of the lion attacks are incoherent . 
what did i expect from this movie ? 
i dunno . 
some real excitement , i suppose . 
a sense that there were formidable forces on both sides of this equation . 
no such luck . 
i dug out my tattered copy of hemingway's "" the short happy life of francis macomber "" and read that to get the taste of this movie out of my mind . 
"
"-1","unfortunately it doesn't get much more formulaic than one tough cop . 
there's the renegade cop with the loser partner who has to many problems to explain . 
the renegade has to prove his good name and is trapped between the good guys , the bad guys and some woman who really has nothing to do with the story other than being there for the purpose of providing sex for the hero in the middle of the film . 
bo dietl ( pronounced deedle , baldwin ) is one tough cop , a guy who is being investigated by hardass fbi agents due to his association with the ny mafia . 
on top of that problem , he has a drunk , gambling addicted partner ( penn ) who has a penchant for collecting parking tickets ( i guess cops aren't immune ? ) . 
then , throw into the mix the femme fatale ( gershon ) . 
right there you have plenty of ammo for a decent cop drama . 
but right in the middle of the film , they throw in a completely un-related plot point . 
dietl and his partner duke try to solve a case that they have been warned to stay away from . 
the film spends over half an hour tracking the case of a nun who was beaten and raped to near death . 
once the case is solved , the film shifts focus back to the mafia issue . 
whatever neat mesh the screenwriter wanted to create between the two stories failed miserably . 
aside from being asked to accept michael mcglone as a mafioso ( an insult if you ask me ) the performances were pretty good . 
baldwin , though he occasionally slips into an impression of his brother alec , does a fine job as one tough cop . 
penn , who also slips into an impression of his brother sean , is even better as a loser tough guy cop . 
what one tough cop lacks is originality . 
this film offers nothing new . 
nothing that you can't get from any cop film . 
it screams sidney lumet all over the place , perhaps because it was produced by marty and michael bregman , producers of lumet's dog day afternoon and serpico . 
but even the masterful sidney would not have been able to make one tough cop into a good film . 
too much else is lacking . 
i also saw the boom mic pop into the top of the frame twice early on in the picture , something that i almost never notice . 
but once i saw that , i had it in the back of my mind every time i saw a medium or long shot . 
at times , i was hoping to see it . 
one tough cop isn't laughable , nor is it a terrible film , but it just isn't unique . 
it is a classic example of a film that didn't need to be made . 
but one thing is for sure , it could really use a better title . 
"
"-1","supposedly based on a true story in which the british drive to build a rail bridge deep in africa grinds to a halt after a pair of lions start killing off the workers in 1898 . 
john patterson ( val kilmer ) , the bridge building expert set to oversee the operation , tried to rid his operation of the lions , but fails . 
a world renound hunter , remington ( michael douglas ) , is called in and the battle , man against lion , begins . 
this film has a great soundtrack , and wonderful scenery . 
the acting is not too bad except the characters are all so thin . 
we only see one side of each character . 
kilmer is a bridge builder and that's all we see him as . 
these lions kill dozens of his men and he doesn't even appear to be too upset about it . 
and the plot ? 
it's jaws , but with lions . 
again we're presented with an animal that behaves not at all as it should . 
it appears to kill men because it just likes too . 
why ? 
who knows . 
i guess there wouldn't be much of a story if it didn't . 
the problem is that there isn't much of a story even though it does . 
"
"-1","of course i knew this going in . 
why is it that whenever a tv-star makes a movie it's always a romantic comedy , and then they say on entertainment tonight or something , that they were "" attracted to the characters . 
they were really original . "" 
original ? ! let me give you a run-through of picture perfect : character a ) kate ( jennifer aniston , from tv's friends ) , a smart , beautiful , professional woman wants two things she can't have : a new job-title and the love of her co-worker kevin bacon . 
her boss will only give her the job if she gets married and gets a mortgage and gets a lease on a german sportscar , and kevin bacon pnly sleeps with married or involved girls . 
what does she do ? 
she invents a fiance ! 
then when everyone wants to meet him , she tells some poor schmoe she met at a wedding that she will pay him $1000 to pretend to be in love with her for a company dinner , and pick a fight with her at the end , thus breaking the engagement but still being able to keep her job , since the guy ends up looking like a jerk and she is the poor , defenceless female . 
he , of course , goes along with it . 
gee , i wonder if they get together in the end . 
i've seen more original stuff on the wb . 
and better stuff too . 
picture perfect also makes the mistake of being _wayyyyy_ too long at 100 minutes , and expecting us to like aniston's character , who comes off as a cold , spoiled bitch . 
"
"-1","louie is a trumpeter swan with no voice . 
in order to woo his lady love serina , louie makes friends with a young boy , sammy , who persuades teacher mrs . hammerbottom ( carol burnett ) to allow louie to attend class . 
louie learns to read and write and returns to his flock , but is laughed at once again when no other swans can understand his message of love for serina . 
to make matters worse , louie's father feels he's lost his honor because of the trumpet he stole for his son in this animated version of e . b . 
white's "" trumpet of the swan . "" 
as jane austen and henry james have become popular sources for adult filmmakers over the past decade or so , e . b . 
white is being returned to for children's films . 
the animated "" charlotte's web "" has become a minor classic since its release in 1973 and 1999 brought us a live action version of "" stuart little . "" 
 "" trumpet of the swan , "" directed by richard rich ( 1999's animated "" the king and i , "" the "" swan princess "" series ) , is unlikely to be remembered along with those two . 
 "" trumpet of the swan "" is receiving a regional theatrical release , but is sure to quickly appear on home video . 
boston is one of the targetted cities because our hero louie becomes famous playing his trumpet in beantown . 
he encounters a gypsy-like con man in the public gardens who pitches louie and his trumpet as an added attraction to boston's swan boats . 
louie stays at the ritz carlton before giving a concert at the hatch shell along the banks of the charles river . 
at this point , louie's earned enough money so that dad can pay for the trumpet and become musically capable enough to win over serina's father . 
 "" trumpet of the swan "" features flat background art , some poor sound syncing and insipid , sugary songs . 
this effort would be better suited to saturday morning television than the big screen , but may be ok for the real small set . 
"
"-1","one of the most respected names in american independent filmmaking is john sayles . 
he has built a strong reputation with films like matewan and the secret of roan inish , and one of his best was his last film , lone star . 
after sayles gave us this complex and unconventional look at ethnic tensions on the us-mexico border , expectation ran high for his next film . 
unfortunately , his men with guns is not the film anyone was hoping for . 
we are essentially told in the first reel where the film is going to go and what it is going to do . 
then the film does exactly what it promised , a painful as that is . 
the plot of men with guns can be summarized "" in a central or south american country things are really bad for everybody in the mountains where the army clashes with the guerrillas . 
dr . fuentes did not believe how bad things were so he went . 
and he found out again and again and again . "" 
of course it is perfectly true that in many places in that region armed conflicts have turned life into a living hell . 
a guerrilla war is always bad for civilians . 
but the film talks down to the viewer . 
dr . fuentes ( played by federico luppi ) teaches medicine in the capital city of his country . 
he has , as a great humanitarian gesture , trained and inspired some of his best students to go into the mountains and make the world a little better for the poor indios . 
fuentes believe the students to be up there doing humanitarian service . 
then he discovers one of his best students has instead returned to the city and runs a squalid private pharmacy . 
in shame and disappointment fuentes asks the student what has happened to the others . 
the student tells him the others are still in the mountains , but suggests that it may not be a good place to be . 
fuentes goes off to find and visit the doctors , ignoring the advice of his family and a patient who happens to be an army general . 
the results are little different than one would expect . 
dr . fuentes starts out incredibly naive . 
even some american tourists , present in the film mostly for comic relief , seem to know better than dr . fuentes that things have gotten pretty bad in the mountains . 
but fuentes has to go from one scene of barbarity to another and discover how wrong he was . 
sayles certainly could have used 126 minute of screen time to tell us something more profound than that nasty things are happening down there and most of the worst happens to the unarmed civilians . 
the cast is mostly unknowns to american audiences . 
federico luppi is the good mexican actor who played the antique dealer torn by mysterious forces in cronos . 
damian delgado makes a late appearance as an army deserter . 
mandy patinkin has a small role made to look bigger in the trailer . 
"
"-1","'traffic violation' dr . daniel's review of u-turn 
dr . d's rating : critical condition ( 
okay , here's the deal . 
i'll be the first one to grant that everybody needs a day off now and then . 
i'll even go so far as to say that a vacation is a necessary part of doing any job well . 
i mean , hey , i've been known to stretch a weekend into a three-day outing , if friday looks to be a slow day . 
and if monday ain't looking like a pick-me-up , well , i've been known to give martha nell a call and say , "" do me a favor , sweetheart . 
bump old man ferguson's boil lancing to tuesday morning , and tell miss audrey that i'll swing by her house monday evening and see if we can't get her trick knee back in line . "" 
a simple sentence like that , and i've got a nice four-day fishing trip with the boys , or more often than not , a trip up to cherokee , n . c . , for jackpot bingo and assorted other mountain funnery . 
but the point is , if you take a day off , do something different . 
if you've worked yourself silly for months , relax a bit . 
sleep in . 
eat pancakes at noon . 
microwave an egg in its shell . 
watch pro wrestling with the sound off . 
listen to some barry white records at high speed . 
whatever . 
but do not , under any circumstances , spend your vacation doing the same thing you do for a living . 
and , if you do , don't make the final product look ten times worse than it would any other time . 
because i do not want to hear your sob stories , oliver stone . 
you apparently thought you needed a break from making "" important films . "" 
cool . 
so you found this hinky little book and decided to make it a movie . 
that's cool , too . 
but , ollie , old sage , do not take a good story and a hot cast and make one of the most pointless and worthless films of the decade . 
i'm just eager to meet you one day , so i can buy you a stoli , look you in the eye and say , "" what in the wide world of sports were you thinking with u-turn ? "" 
and i'll stand there staring 'til i get a straight answer . 
sean penn stars u-turn , as bobby , a drifter who's had some troubles a while back . 
he's heading cross the desert minus two fingers when his mustang ragtop blows a radiator hose , stranding him in superior , arizona , held there by an "" ignorant , inbred , turtleneck hick "" of a mechanic named darrell . 
while darrell puts a new hose on the ride , bobby walks into town to see what's cooking . 
is it needless of me to say that superior , arizona , is not exactly the shiny scrubbed home of all things lovely ? 
probably not . 
bobby meets up with grace ( jennifer lopez ) , who invites him back to her place , for drape-hanging and other domestic issues . 
just as those issues are starting up , grace's husband , jake , storms in , looking like check-out day of the elks lodge convention . 
just beats bobby silly . 
bobby takes to the road , only to meet up with jake again , and jake asks bobby to kill grace . 
a little while later , grace asks bobby to kill jake . 
them murderous arizonians . 
gotta love 'em . 
if any of this sounds familiar , congratulations . 
you win a kewpie doll . 
the story is a straight shoplift of red rock west , a cult favorite a few years back from john dahl , maker of the phenomenal the last seduction . 
but the contest doesn't end there , guys and gals . 
we get steals from russ meyer movies , where everybody in town is horny and sweaty . 
we get the town from bad day at black rock , minus the train , plus busty women who can speak . 
look at any schwarzenegger film , and you'll see our hero , bobby , as bobby has a mudhole stomped in his keister a dozen times , has his ribs stove in at least fifteen times , gets bit by a tarantula , gets shot at , and ends up with vultures circling overhead , all the while getting up like he just got a shaving nick . 
bobby as terminator ? 
stretch it a bit , and we have a five-finger discount from doc hollywood , where the whole story occurs because of car trouble , forcing the main character to stay at the mercy of the town and the mechanic . 
okay , he's working from a book , so maybe ollie's not totally to blame for blatantly copping these ideas . 
i just expect a man who can make up an alternative history of the united states to be able to craft a few original ideas before exposing the negative . 
i just wish he hadn't brought a cast like this together for what amounts to a group toe-stub . 
sean penn gives a great performance , and jennifer lopez and nick nolte are as on target as they can be , playing over-the-top caricatures of stereotype characters . 
the best thing about the movie is watching penn react to the madness around him and try to figure out exactly what the blankety-blank is going on . 
too bad it's not fun to watch when it's happening to us . . . while 
we sit through this mess of a film . 
u-turn is not a bad film if you're a fan of technique . 
it's the oliver stone you've always known . 
robert richardson is his usual cinematographer , and rob and ollie know how to shoot a flick -- great camera angles , shifting viewpoints , wicked colors , nice looking pictures . 
but pictures of what ? 
i think i'd rather stare at a xeroxed envelope for two hours than try to figure out the tilt-o-whirl point of this loser film . 
plot twists are one thing , repetition is almost unforgivable , and this is dang near as unforgivable as any movie i've seen in the past five years . 
oliver , i know your body of work is nothing to sniff at . 
you've been nice enough to limit us to only one doors movie , and films like platoon , jfk , wall street and nixon give us plenty to dig on . 
your scripts are certainly respectable , your budgets are up there on the screen , and your actors don't dog it . 
and i know that , maybe , with u-turn , you were just kicking back , just having fun . 
that's fine . 
but don't do that with a movie with the potential of this one . 
do some police academy sequel ( imagine that . ) 
do a big comedy , like a remake of it's a mad , mad , mad , mad world . 
but do not drop a limp u-turn out of your pocket and expect us to accept it as "" an oliver stone movie , "" and not question why it stinks like week-old snook . 
there's a right way to have fun , and a wrong way to have fun . 
this was as wrong as you can get without going to jail . 
"
"-1","there are two things the american film industry should avoid at all costs . 
one is letting an ambitious actor convert one of his or her favorite novels into a feature film . 
two is never greenlight a sci-fi film starring john travolta . 
to wit , we present the disaster that is battlefield earth . 
a science-fiction opus starring the barbarino of the actors guild , battlefield earth should be shown only at maximum-security prisons when a prisoner is tossed in solitary for bad behavior . 
sci-fi is always a tricky beast : tight script , a good director , an ensemble cast of decent actors , and the ability to suspend even the most difficult of disbeliefs . 
battlefield earth fails at achieving even one of these attributes . 
here's the `plot . ' 
the year is 3000 . 
mankind has been become an endangered species thanks to the conquest of a race of aliens called the psychlos ( sounds like either the latest clown act from cirque de soleil or a white rap group ) . 
a small band of humans dwell in radioactive caves located in the rockies in fear of the `demons' who dwell in the cities below . 
the psychlos are strip-mining the earth for its resources and terel , played by travolta , is the head of security for the mining/slave base located in denver . 
a young rogue named jonnie goodboy tyler , played with dramatic flair by barry pepper , ventures from the safety of the caves into the city to uncover the truth about the `demons . ' 
he is promptly captured and taken to the alien base . 
after several attempts at escape , johnnie is placed in the middle of an underhanded subplot of terel's , involving circumventing gold from an exposed vein in the rockies to his own end . 
jonnie , assumed leader of the mining slave group , then manages to attain all psychlo and human intelligence through a learning machine terel forces him to use . 
then the story just runs along until jonnie teaches the rest of the humans the basics of trigonometry , the bill of rights , how to use a machine gun , and how to fly a harrier jet . 
the whole mess concludes with a big , loud , obnoxious gun-and-plane battle that had me praying for the end credits . 
roger christian , the director of this lumbering beast , must have rented dune , blade runner , planet of the apes , independence day , stargate , beastmaster , the airwolf episodes , the `v' miniseries , the matrix , and the omega man . . . 
and decided to steal every scene he could for battlefield earth . 
christian even shoots every scene in a weird dutch angle titled left or right for every frame of the movie ! 
and every scene in the movie ends with a middle wipe -- really . 
the psychlos reminded me of a cross between jamaican basketball players with bad teeth and bloated hands and klingon extras working the star trek convention circuit . 
travolta's acting hasn't been this bad since the experts or maybe perfect . 
jonnie goodboy tyler evolves into william wallace with lines like `you can have your freedom if you fight ! ' 
then there's the script : the film just never convinces you that the plight of jonnie in teaching his fellow humans to fight and `take back the planet' would be a difficult task to achieve . 
why ? 
because terel provides all the necessary tools to incite a revolt -- for no particular reason beside the fact that `humans are stupid . ' 
terel may be right , you know . 
humans made this movie . 
"
"-1","would you believe -- in real life , i mean -- that if you were julia roberts , that you'd be the ugly underdog to your sister , the creepy catherine zeta-jones ? 
let me tell you what reality is . 
reality is that you are megastar julia fricking roberts and your brother is eric roberts , and he picks up whatever crumbs of stardom fall off your coattails as you blaze across the sky in a golden chariot . 
that's reality . 
america's sweethearts is the opposite of reality , a train wreck that tries to sell julia as a scruffy also-ran , presumably because she wears horn-rimmed glasses and used to be overweight ( uh-huh ) . 
the plot follows two married , mega-movie stars , gwen and eddie ( zeta-jones and poor , poor john cusack , whose material gets worse every year ) , on the eve of their new star vehicle's release , a film called time over time . 
the only problem : gwen and eddie have gone through a nasty separation , and the press and public have not been forgiving ( think meg and dennis ) . 
gosh , and the director has vanished with the film , holding the only print hostage . 
veteran pr agent lee ( billy crystal ) is called upon to clean up the mess , throwing a press junket in the nevada desert to woo them with the story of a possible reconciliation between the gwen and eddie , presumably distracting the stupid , stupid film critics into forgetting they haven't seen the movie at all . 
 ( note to sony : any studio executive that thinks this plot is going to win points with the reviewing press needs to check into rehab . ) 
and did i mention gwen's sister kiki ( roberts ) is along for the ride ? 
and that she and eddie just might fall in love along the way ? 
oh billy , you're a scamp ! 
the script you've co-written with peter tolan ( what planet are you from ? 
and bedazzled -- need i say more ? ) is a roast of hollywood and celebrity , sure , but it's not a funny one . 
yes , crystal tells us , hollywood is lying to our faces ! 
if you are surprised by this , you might want to check on your subscription to people magazine . 
it's about to expire . 
aside from a scant few zingers ( yeah , se ? or winces rules ! ) , 
america's sweethearts' jokes aren't funny , its pace is choppy , and the whole affair comes off as a vanity project -- not for headlining star julia roberts -- but for billy crystal to deliver a bunch of lame punch lines that he wrote himself . 
i didn't time it ( the movie's not that bad ) , but it's crystal who really has the most screen time and is the unequivocal focus of the film . 
bad move , billy -- your jokes suck . 
the crotch humor is outpaced only by the meanness of the movie's gags -- and with unsubtle sexual innuendo dripping from every scene , how this movie earned a pg-13 rating is a mystery to me . 
julia overcame a lot of spiteful writing and acting to make my best friend's wedding into a winning film , but not even that 90-tooth smile can save her here . 
obviously aware of the ugliness before him , director joe roth turns to goofy supporting characters like hank azaria ( as a lisping spaniard ) , christopher walken ( the insane time over time director ) , and alan arkin ( a new age guru in a fright wig ) to crack wise . 
none of the stereotypes is successful except for walken ; azaria comes off as a preening queen when he's supposed to be macho . 
as for roth , in case you don't know , went from direcing revenge of the nerds ii to launching his own movie studio , revolution , which produced this work . 
he's back behind the camera for the first time in 11 years . 
it'll probably be another 11 before he's back again . 
i could drone on about how america's sweethearts will only appeal to the mouth-breathing morons who talk on their cell phones during the movies , but that would get old . 
instead , i'll settle for discussing the movie's worst sin : that sweethearts is painfully contrived and wholly unbelievable , not just in its plot but in its sentiment . 
every single character in this film ( with the arguable exception of kiki ) is simply hateful , and putting them in a romantic comedy is a waste of a bunch of villains . 
when you leave the theater , you'll ask yourself , too : why would i want any of these jerks to be happy ? 
"
"-1","rated : r for strong violence , language , drug use , nudity , and some sexuality . 
starring : wesley snipes , anne archer , michael chaykin , donald sutherland , marie matiko . 
running time : 117 minutes 
directed by : christian duguay 
i've never fully understood wesley snipes's career . 
he has his ups and downs , but mostly the downs . 
his best movie was one of the best of 1998 and that movie was entitled "" blade "" . 
he has had his typical action movies , "" boiling point "" , "" passenger 57 "" , but his new movie "" the art of war "" should just be called "" rising sun 2 : the art of war "" cause basically it's a semi-remake of the same plot , with a different cast , and forced to be a ridiculously unbelievable thriller , that is high on style and low on substance . 
wesley snipes plays a james bondish type secret agent working for the u . n . after a chinese ambassador is killed , he is on the track of the killer , trying to find out who it is , how it happened , where the killer was , and what to do . 
anne archer plays his "" boss "" type person of the u . n . and she has hired snipes to track down the killer . 
well snipes is mistakenly framed as the killer , and is now an outlaw , kidnapping a chinese woman with him , and having her help him along the way . 
all this leads to a finale that is so dumb , and so stupid that is it unbelievably dumb , and the stunts , dialogue and acting all ruin this movie . 
wesley snipes isn't one of my favorite actors because of the fact that the character he plays in every movie is the same character he plays in the movie before . 
the only good role snipes has really had was in 1998's "" blade "" . 
i walked into "" the art of war "" expecting a good , high octane thriller , and all i got was a pile of mush . 
the only real 'good' thing the movie has is action , and plenty of it , but i noticed it is badly filmed , the camera is so shaky you cannot even tell what is going on . 
the ending finale is so worthless and pitiful , that it even tries to mock "" the matrix "" , laughably funny , it is undeniably stupid . 
christian duguay's direction is also not that great . 
his camera angles and sense of style are all in place , but sadly his lighting and editing are all badly done . 
even the whole "" matrix "" ending wasn't even good . 
the stunts and action are badly filmed , and badly choreographed . 
his placing of the characters , and the assination of the chinese ambassador , and the plotting of the movie are so predictable and laughable , that it just takes all the fun out of the entire movie . 
anne archer who is usually good in her roles , turns in a horrible job here . 
she is sour , downbeat , and dreadfully dull with her forced dialogue , and dumb moves . 
even donald sutherland as a co-star can't save this movie from being a bust . 
so for an overall opinion : "" the art of war "" is a total waste of time . 
it's not entertaining , nor exciting , or even action packed . 
it is a pointless movie , and makes absolutely no sense at all . 
if you really want to see a good version of "" the art of war "" , rent the wesley snipes and sean connery action vehicle of the same kind "" rising sun "" , it isn't a great film either , but at least it's better than this . 
"
"-1","movie reviewers have an obligation to see the good , the bad , and the despicable . 
i originally wrote this review for my college newspaper back in '95 , but i wanted to re-write it because not all retro reviews should be about the classics . 
we need to be warned about some truly awful films , too . 
this picture was so bad , it inspired the description for my 1/10 rating ( see ratings chart below ) . 
the only thing saving it from a 0/10 rating is that being able to rent a movie like this is slightly less embarassing than renting a porno . 
so , it does indeed have some plusses . . . 
in fairness , elizabeth berkley is certainly worth seeing in the buff . 
and her ability to whine and irritate us , even while nude , was appropriate in her role as selfish temptress nomi malone . 
this character is not smart , not interesting , and ( deliberately ? ) 
far too annoying far too often . 
like in 1998s "" bulworth "" , when the movie was over i didn't care one little iota about the main character . 
at least warren beatty tried to make a statement with his dreary and overrated film , though . 
 "" showgirls "" is too stupid to make a statement . 
some people claim that the story is based on the legendary "" all about eve "" of all things ! 
if exploitation expert joe eszterhas was half the screenwriter that joseph l . mankiewicz was , he'd be . . . well , 
he'd be a good screenwriter . 
instead , this project may have sunk his career . 
he wrote the ( ha ha ! ) 
script and the usually reliable paul verhoeven directed . 
the same team who created a good sex-film in 1992 ( "" basic instinct "" ) struck out here with their occasional violence , gratuitous x-rated sex scenes , and numerous ( and quite unnecessary ) lesbian overtones . 
the predictable storyline revolves around nomi streaking into las vegas to make it big as a dancer . 
after the supposed street-smart young "" lady "" gets conned out of her suitcase by a slack-jawed yokel in the opening sequence , she befriends a tailor of the glamorous stage production at the "" stardust hotel "" . 
nomi doesn't take advantage of this contact to break into the big-time of dirty dancing right away . 
first , she becomes a lap dancer at a scummy strip club . 
she sells her hot little wares at "" the cheetah "" for a short time , turning on the fictitious customers and the actual theatre audience . 
hey , i never said she wasn't a hot number . . . 
maybe it's that , her body , which gets her into the big-time when the star of the "" stardust hotel "" , crystal connors ( gina gershon ) stops into the strip club ( it certainly isn't her brains or pleasant disposition ! ) . 
crystal requests a private lap dance for her boyfriend ( kyle maclachlan ) . 
he also happens to be the pleasure-seeking worm who runs the big show . 
crystal gets nomi onto the "" stardust "" team and , after an interminable amount of time , nomi "" earns "" the role of crystal's understudy . 
the slut then deliberately injures and hospitalizes crystal . 
it was almost laughable that nomi had the guts to claim that she's "" not a whore "" . 
that's a phrase we hear a few different times and it's completely ludicrous . 
of course she is ! 
she sells her soul to make it big , but in the end we're supposed to believe that she's a better person than that . 
we're supposed to root for her . 
no way ! 
she's a tramp and a back-stabber who deserved nothing--least of all vindication in the . . . ahem . . . climax . 
she is not a good person and they take over two hours to explain that the audience should think that she is . 
the sub-plot with a male dancer ( glenn plummer ) who claims to see talent in nomi is just a gratuitous opportunity to let her dance naked a little bit more . 
it sure ain't character development ! 
plummer also appeared in "" speed "" in '94 in a smaller , yet better role . 
this sub-plot goes absolutely nowhere except maybe to deliver an unsubtle hint that fornicators should practice birth control . 
kyle maclachlan must have been promised a big pay-day or his standards have dipped since appearing in "" blue velvet "" . 
that picture was weird , but some critics claim it's one of the best movies of the '80s . 
now ol' kyle can say that he acted in one of the worst of the '90s , too . 
his sleazy character is important to "" showgirls "" , but we don't learn anything about him . 
he uses people to get what he wants , but that only means that he fits in well with the other characters in this movie . 
is he a villain ? 
who cares ! 
ultimately , this movie is as tiresome as it is explicit . 
everyone must know by now about the soft-core acts of copulation , especially the riotous romp between berkley and maclachlan in his pool . 
what few reviewers take issue with is how mean-spirited this movie is . 
everyone's either having sex , exacting revenge , or wishing they were having sex or exacting revenge . 
it's just too hard to take ( especially for over two hours ) . 
if we must be exposed to the evils of the vegas world , why couldn't verhoeven have also made a point of highlighting the whispers , grunts , and other sounds during the dance numbers ? 
it's hard to care about these people if we can't even appreciate what they're capable of doing on-stage . 
berkley may have a future in hollywood because she can dance and she has a great body . 
after all , the world of porn is still an active , dishonourable profession . 
perhaps berkley could join their ranks and leave the real acting to pauly shore and cindy crawford . 
oops , they're bad actors , too . 
well , at least , they're not selfish and contemptable like good ol' slutty nomi malone . 
useless trivia--ironically , elizabeth berkley played virtuous and "" holier than thou "" jessie on the teeny-bopper tv show , "" saved by the bell "" , before breaking onto the big screen . 
"
"-1","mr . nice guy is the latest jackie chan film , so you should know what to expect . 
a weak plot , terrible dialogue , very little acting ability , but some jaw-dropping action sequences that nearly make the rest of it worthwhile . 
however , mr . nice guy lacks the sparkle of jackie's best efforts , and its weaknesses are more glaring than ever . 
jackie chan plays , who else , jackie . 
this time out , he's a famous chef who hosts an australian cooking show . 
not that it ever makes a difference in the plot . 
there are only two scenes of him cooking . 
for the rest of the film , somehow he mutates into jackie chan , supercop . 
it never does explain why his character has such superb martial arts skills . . . perhaps he was in the same cooking class as steven seagal in under siege ? 
a tv newswoman , diana ( gabrielle fitzpatrick ) , covertly tapes a drug deal involving kingpin giancarlo ( richard norton ) and a local gang of toughs , the demons . 
although she only has one camcorder , somehow the result is full of close-ups and multiple angles . . . hmmm , 
shades of broadcast news ? ? ? 
anyway , the goons discover diana , and will do anything to recover the tape . 
here lies another crucial flaw in the story : doesn't anyone realize you can copy a tape ? 
oh well , no one ever said jackie chan movies had to make sense . 
as luck would have it , diana runs across jackie , and , wouldn't you know it , jackie accidentally ends up with the tape . 
this leads to countless chase and/or fight scenes which look like they could have been lifted from rumble in the bronx or nearly any other jackie chan movie . 
in a move apparently designed to woo american ( and other english-speaking ) audiences , the film uses english as its primary language . 
however , that doesn't mean an end to the atrocious dubbing that has afflicted jackie's recent americanized releases . 
strangely , many of the characters speaking english are overdubbed with english , and poorly too . 
whether this is just a very bad case of looping , an effort to minimize accents , or a simple case of nostalgia , it does achieve the same level of distraction present in all of jackie's dubbed films . 
the plot in mr . nice guy is negligible , merely an excuse to have jackie on the run from various goons . 
but even though plots have always been second to the action in jackie's films , it seems odd that the filmmakers have stuck us with this tired retread . 
look , if you have jackie chan playing a chef , why not use that to your advantage ? 
watching jackie doing his stuff in a kitchen , beating the bad guys with foodstuffs sounds like the perfect setup for innumerable comic stunts . 
the action is a mixed bag here . 
there's really only one no holds barred fight scenes that have become the trademark of jackie's films . 
it takes place in the arbitrary location of a construction site , apparently for the sole reason that there are lots of nifty things lying around that can be useful ala jackie chan . 
the action in the film is neither jackie's best nor worst , but you long for some more inspiration in the scenes . 
the film's gratuitous use of slow motion is distracting . 
once or twice , it may be useful to highlight a spectacular stunt sequence . 
but to slo-mo jackie running ? 
either this is a nod to the six-million dollar man , or a pathetic attempt to disguise the fact that jackie may be slowing down . 
if you've seen all of jackie's films and are in need of another fix , go ahead and see mr . nice guy . 
however , if you're just in the mood for some good action , you'd be better off hitting the video store for some of his better work , such as supercop . 
"
"-1"," "" first rule of fight club is , don't talk about fight club . "" 
this quote deals directly with my opinion of this film , because quite frankly , it's not even worth mentioning . 
director david fincher ( seven ) has completely gone over the edge . 
with crude humor , an intolerable script and 2 hours and 19 minutes of pure torture , i'm surprised i didn't walk out . 
this just goes to show that hype kills . 
it's very rare that a film so hyped up as "" fight club "" turns out to be noteworthy , and this is no exception . 
the story goes like this . 
edward norton is an insomniac trying to enlighten his dull life by going to a variety of disease therapy sessions , until he meets marla ( helena bonham carter ) . 
norton claims that she is wrecking his pleasurable lifestyle , when he spots her at a session that he also attended . 
apparently the disease sessions help them see what life is like , literally living in pain . 
why any person would think of such a thing is beyond me , but things do get worse . 
norton is soon assigned to a job that calls for traveling , and it's on a plane that he meets tyler durden ( brad pitt ) . 
the two men develop a bond , and go out to a bar , and by golly after they get drunk , the two pitiful characters fight . 
how do they come up with this stuff ? 
anyway , their fighting catches other pathetic loser's attention , and a club is formed . 
out of all this mess , there manages to lie a message . 
fincher shows us that society is like robots . 
we work in our jobs doing things step by step , and want out . 
our insanity gets to our brain and makes things worse than they really are , and we blame it on others . 
call me crazy , but this is common knowledge . 
i think fincher was acting as if the film is moodier and more poignant than it really is , which is probably one of the reasons it fails miserably . 
even with two good actors , and a solid actress , they only manage to weaken the story . 
i couldn't help but hide my face in shame when norton beats himself up into a bloody pulp . 
it just shows how desperate the script is for attention . 
i guess brad pitt was right for this role , because i felt like beating him up myself . 
his bothersome and depressing character , made me disgusted at his 20 million fee . 
it only showed me that he was in it for the money and nothing more . 
helena bonham carter however really had no purpose . 
she just popped up on screen , mumbled some lines , smoked and left . 
this continues for what seems like 6 hours . 
the film drags on and my headache gets bigger , while "" fight club "" nears what i think might be the end . 
unfortunately by then , the film hits rock bottom . 
though the conclusion kept my interest for a mere 5 minutes , it backs down again and continues to move at a snails pace . 
on a side note , the trailer shows the only redeeming elements of the film , that coincidentally lasts the same amount of time that they did on the trailer . 
fincher will hopefully regret making this film or at least learn a lesson . 
concentrating on the atmosphere or a particular key moment , won't do any good if everything else is in need of support . 
also , i'm afraid that immature men might respond to the film's violence . 
the last thing the world needs is people praising a leader of a pointless cult . 
when the film ends , i'm just glad to get home and take some advil . 
you'll either enjoy what the film has to offer , or agree with ed norton when he says "" this is so f * * * ing stupid . "" 
"
"-1","note to screenwriters and self : when you hit the big time , and the studios come knocking for those scripts that are sitting in your bottom drawer , tell ? em all to hit the road . 
gilligan wrote the arbitrarily-titled home fries ten years ago ; it was shelved until he found success as one of "" the took a second look at gilligan's "" comedy "" - they read it again wearing rose-tinted glasses . 
drew stars as sally , a dim ( but sweet ) , pregnant waitress at a small town burger joint located somewhere in the southern united states . 
the father of her child is dead , the victim of a severe heart attack brought on by sadistic torture from his two stepsons - these flyboys scared him with their low-flying helicopter . 
dorian ( wilson ) and angus ( busey ) were getting even for his philandering ways on behalf of their anguished mother ( o'hara ) . 
trouble is , sally picked up some interference on her drive-thru headset , and angus worries she may have heard conversations that took place in the helicopter prior to the accidental killing . 
so dorian goes undercover as a burger-flipper ; before you can say "" with cheese "" he falls for the mother-to-be . 
too bad mom and angus have homicidal plans for sally . 
does this sound like a movie you want to see ? 
without a doubt , the best thing about home fries is barrymore ; at the risk of sounding sexist , she's never looked better than here , as a curly redhead with twinkling eyes . 
she is winning in a role that requires her to do absolutely nothing except look apple-cheek cute and gawk at wilson , her real-life boyfriend . 
but the plot and the situations are so off-putting that nothing could save it . 
this movie desperately wants to get mentioned in the same breath as the coen brothers , but home fries' brand of laboured hipness would be foreign to geniuses like ethan and joel . 
it's raising arizona without babies , without charm , without laughs , without human characters , and without intelligence ; worst of all , it's creepy . 
what's funny about threatening to gun down a pregnant woman with a machine gun ? 
 ( unless the woman in question is a spice girl . ) 
take out the helicopters , the quasi-incestuous relationship between the mother and her sons ( it is absolutely illogical , within the movie's framework , that dorian still lives with his mother and brother ) , and the scenes of murder ( attempted and otherwise ) , and what are you left with ? 
the story of a single woman with child who works at a fast food joint ( but dreams of becoming a country singer ) . 
that could turn out to be the most boring movie ever made , but it'd be better than home fries . 
"
"-1","the recent onslaught of film noir that has popped up in multiplexes , with everything ranging from "" l . a . confidential "" to "" palmetto "" to "" the big lebowski , "" has proved to be an artistic commodity for veteran , talented directors . 
with this particular genre , directors are able to collate the sleazy underworld of the lower-class and the glamorous , opulent upper-class , while maintaining the noirish , ambiguous ambience , the staple of film noir . 
 "" wild things "" could be classified as a black comedy , a sultry film noir or a plain ol' erotic thriller , but the one category it doesn't qualify for is that of a quality motion picture . 
overacted , overwrought and overlong , "" wild things "" is a confused mess , a movie that wants to have its cake and eat it too . 
with its incalculable twists , turns , more twists and more turns , it soon becomes a tedious exercise in pointlessness . 
in spite of game efforts by kevin bacon and matt dillon , who manage to sustain straight faces throughout the ordeal , "" wild things "" not once jells in its eroticism , unpredictability , character motivation , sense of the world , plot , etc . there's not one redeeming quality in the picture that is not technical . 
directed by john mcnaughton ( "" henry : portrait of a serial killer "" ) , "" wild things "" follows sam lombardo ( matt dillon ) , a hunkish , suburban florida high school teacher who's the dream of every spruced up female in the community . 
particularly one . 
kelly van ryan ( denise richards ) adores him to such extent that she offers to wash his jeep with a partner . 
soon , her tiny shorts are soaked and tells the other girl to take a hike , enabling her to come into his house . 
next thing , she cries rape . 
and the so-called "" roller-coaster ride "" ensues . 
a second accuser comes front , suzie toller ( neve campbell ) , a booze-drinkin' , tattooed piece of trailer trash that charges lombardo of sexually molesting her , virtually guaranteeing a trial where preposterous confessions , asinine occurrences and laughable courtroom procedures are bound to happen . 
even bill murray gets into the act as lombardo's zany lawyer . 
he wears a fake neck- brace , waves the finger at the other client and infuses the script with some billy murray . 
you can tell mcnaughton knew he had nothing to lose assigning murray to this role . 
as ridiculous as it sounds , he's the most sane character in the movie . 
the community is astonished . 
reporters flee to the scene . 
there's an 8 . 5-million settlement for a libel suit against kelly's mother ( theresa russell ) . 
there's the ambiguous cop ( kevin bacon , who also executive produced ) who sniffs something iffy in this concoction of deceit , murder and lust . 
we , the audience , sniff something not so lustful . 
like so many thrillers these days , including "" the usual suspects "" and "" the game , "" "" wild things "" eschews character for plot . 
mcnaughton knows how to handle the camera , and he keeps the campy fillings of the script flowing with workmanlike ease , as if he knows the territory he's covering is a harmless appetizer to accompany "" henry , "" a furious , unsettling film directorial tour- de-force . 
george clinton's score is a delight to behold . 
but it's the humans . 
the characters are mere devices for the "" nasty "" twists . 
what writer stephen peters does not grasp is this becomes tediously uninvolving , almost unbearable , if those who inhibit this twisted world are not interesting , don't feel real or we don't care for them . 
not even the unintentionally funny moments work . 
the people in "" wild things "" are not so much people as they are caricatures . 
then there's the erotic content , which nearly earned the film an nc-17 , for a sexless , badly edited , poorly lit menage-a-trois . 
and in what has to be one of the most flabbergastingly inept scenes that has graced this country , kevin bacon's member makes a cameo appearance with ten minutes to go . 
ironically , the wildest elements of "" wild things "" are not wild at all . 
"
"-1","it rocks-actually , lots of rocks fly at us or from us , in slow or fast motion , at several points in the film . 
they seem like dangerous rocks because they kind of twirl through the air instead of just propelling forward , and when they land-once in a while , when we need a break from the space sequences-they cause damage enough to destroy the chrysler building and the like . 
 ( nary a mention of these apocalyptic events is made after they occur . ) 
they also just might be the most interesting element of armageddon , a steroid user's answer to deep impact . 
bruce willis stars as harry stamper , a famed oil-driller commissioned by the white house and nasa to stop a giant asteroid before it travels beyond "" zero barrier "" and destroys our planet . 
why an oil driller ? 
they require someone experience with deep-core mining to plant a nuclear missile into said asteroid . 
 ( in one unintentionally ( ? ) 
hilarious sequence , nasa asks harry to inspect a deep-core driller they built based on his blueprints ; it is poorly constructed-harry criticizes almost every aspect of it . 
we trust nasa to build space shuttles ? ) 
harry assembles the obligatory "" ragtag "" bunch of "" cowboys "" , including a blond guy , a fat guy , a black guy , a wiseass , and the man who is sleeping with his daughter ( affleck ) . 
once they reach space , we experience sequence after sequence of something going wrong-perhaps the fact that they sent a bunch of nincompoops into outer space has something to do with it ; i cannot count the number of times they almost fail the mission on all my fingers and toes . 
whether or not they save the day , i will not reveal . 
nor will you care . 
i will say this : you know you're in trouble when deep impact dwarfs your asteroid movie in terms of emotion and scope . 
willis has barely a chance to come alive ; ditto for affleck . 
their big scenes are mostly reserved for the third act , in a last minute-and futile-attempt to inject warmth into the material . 
steve buscemi's character-the wiseass-is exceptionally problematic . 
 "" rockhound "" , as he's called , is sarcastic and foolish , so they tape him to a chair , where he spends most of the film . 
so why did they bring him up there to begin with ? 
rather , why write him into the film ? -give 
his almost-witty one-liners to serious willis , who scowls and mopes and demonstrates psychotic tendencies : at one point he chases after affleck with his shotgun for screwing his daughter , firing often and causing significant damage to his oil rig . 
i'm guessing he qualifies under nasa guidelines as someone unfit for space travel , at least in my world where the sky is blue . 
liv tyler is pretty and humourless , as always ; suspiciously , four of her father's band's ( "" aerosmith "" ) songs grace the soundtrack . 
director michael bay lays the visual and sound effects on thick , like ketchup , eventually drowning the movie on-screen . 
 ( the middle hour is a non-sensical , pyrotechnic assault on the average primate's brain . ) 
whenever someone dies in this movie , a crew member inevitably yells out "" we lost ( insert dead person's last name here ) ! "" 
i must admit that not once could i distinguish a dead oil-guy-cum-astronaut from a live one , and close-ups of the corpses' faces beneath cracked helmets provided little assistance , as their skin was often covered in fake blood . 
armageddon is not as terrible movie as godzilla . 
it looks nicer , and has fewer plot-holes within its equally ludicrous framework . 
it has a vivid soundmix . 
but at almost two-and-a-half hours , i could not believe how little actually happened over the course of the story . 
the love story has been played up in the ads , perhaps hoping to catch people before they recover from titanic-fever . 
bollocks ! 
the lovers in the film are miles apart throughout-erase all thoughts of nude sketching or car-sex and replace them with obligatory shots of liv tyler tearing up while ben affleck dicks around in a moon-crawler . 
remember a little film called jaws ? 
in this film , three independent-minded men suddenly found themselves on a fishing boat in pursuit of a deadly shark . 
they didn't much like each other at first ; eventually , they started to respect one another . 
one of jaws' great scenes involved the would-be-ahabs drinking and singing songs and telling stories . 
this is the sort of male-bonding foreign to bay or his producer , jerry bruckheimer , who throw too many characters into the mix and expect we'll care about them on the grounds that the world is about to end . 
not once do we get the feeling that these characters are even acquaintances-i'd be surprised if these actors bothered to introduce themselves to one another before "" action "" was called . 
a male friend who loved the film suggested to me that perhaps i cannot relate to a bunch of men who don't bare their souls , who believe in dying macho concepts like heroism and a kind of chest-beating bravery . 
to this , i will respond that the boys in armageddon are neither heroic , nor brave , nor smart , even : this team couldn't build a birdhouse . 
and if i get no respect for disliking a movie with all the synthetic feeling of a trailer-a trailer for a movie written by a team of body-builders and greeting card authors-i've never been a prouder wimp my whole life . 
"
"-1","there's a 1 , 000-foot tidal wave at the end of deep impact . 
i'd say it pretty accurately represents the towering flood of the last two years worth of disaster movies , which are getting more irwin allen- esque with every release . 
the early wave of this revival , while just as cheesy and laughable , at least knew to include thrills every five to ten minutes . 
deep impact tries to disguise itself as a human drama , with endless filler comprised of disaster prevention plans the country keeps taking . 
the repeating cycle is as follows -- the president ( morgan freeman ) will go on tv and tell the country that there's a remote chance a comet will strike the earth , but that the nation's crack scientists and astronauts have some brilliant plan to stop the problem . 
then we get to see the plan in action , in some sequence utterly lacking suspense . 
the mission will barely fail , and freeman will tell the country that the comet is still headed toward earth , and there's a remote chance it will strike , but that the nation's crack scientists and astronauts have some brilliant plan to stop the problem . 
it goes on and on throughout the movie , but every time freeman goes on tv , we know his plan is going to fail . 
how do we know this ? 
because we've seen the tv ads for deep impact , ads that feature freeman telling the nation that "" the comet is still headed right for us "" and show disaster shots of the comet striking earth and the giant tidal wave spreading . 
ladies and gentlemen , that is the movie . 
successful disaster movies have the main disaster toward the beginning and more little disasters that follow , but deep impact saves its one disaster for the end and discloses all in its 30-second tv spots . 
television is what's wrong with deep impact . 
the main character , played by tea leoni , is a low-level broadcast journalist for msnbc ( and that's the mere tip of the product-placement iceberg ) who stumbles upon a huge government conspiracy . 
she thinks it's an instance of an ex-secretary of something or other ( james cromwell ) resigning because of a mistress , and that maybe he took the fall for the president in the same area . 
when she goes nosing around cromwell , he begs her to keep it under wraps . 
 "" i know you're just a reporter , but you used to be a human being . "" 
she figures out what's really going on after getting roughed up by some fbi men and doing an internet search , where all good journalists learn the difference between a mistress and an extinction- level comet . 
upon a top-secret meeting with president freeman , leoni agrees to keep the story under wraps until the president can hold a press conference , at which she gets to ask the first question . 
and everyone knows , if you get to ask the first question , baby you're a star . 
leoni ends up in the anchor chair , broadcasting every step of the comet's collision course with earth . 
and i'm sure it's comforting for her to know that , even though the world's ending in a matter of months , she's a cable news personality . 
so there she is , narrating the six-astronaut mission to blow the comet up . 
such personalities as robert duvall , jon favreau and blair underwood cash their paychecks and go through the motions of this dragged-out process . 
but as anyone who's seen the commercials knows , the astronauts fail . 
they only end up breaking the comet into two pieces , which means even more destruction to the earth . 
yeah , thanks , nasa . 
that's when freeman has to come on tv for the last time and say goodbye to all the people who aren't picked to live in the missouri cave site for two years . 
they even have animals , two by two , ready to climb into the cave . 
if the focus had been on people living inside these caves after the world had been destroyed , deep impact could have been a far more interesting movie . 
instead we watch as a lovestruck elijah wood defies all odds to chase down his young wife , while people pack the highways out of town . 
the reasoning is , of course , that if a comet is going to strike , they might as well be out in some scenic rural location . 
and , amusingly , the highway is spotted with people in u-haul trucks . 
i'm sure it's comforting to know that , even though the world's ending in a matter of minutes , the u-haul people are doing the most business of their lives . 
"
"-1"," "" there will be another , "" the ads for this sequel proclaimed , and why not ? 
true , brandon lee is dead , but there would be no reason for him to appear in a followup to 1994's the crow , anyway . 
the idea of spinning artist james o'barr's original comic book series into a sequel franchise revolves around the notion that a different startled soul would come back from the dead in each movie , taking its own righteous vengeance against the world . 
given that basic framework , the story could move in any number of directions . 
of course , it doesn't . 
stubbornly , the crow : city of angels backtracks to the beginning of the previous film , when lee's eric draven found himself drawn back out of his grave to do a charles bronson on the thugs who tortured him and his girlfriend to death . 
i remember the first film primarily as a harrowing exercise in brutality . 
in flashback , we see the most excruciating crimes exacted on eric and his lover , and then we watch in real-time as eric pays each perpetrator back in kind . 
it's loud and repetitive , true , a sadist's delight -- but it's also horrifying and fascinating . 
city of angels gives us more of the same , but less skillfully . 
there's an audience guaranteed for a film like this , although bad reviews and poor word-of-mouth will likely ensure that it won't be much of a success . 
in fact , miramax subsidiary dimension films was so fearful of the critical reaction to this picture that reviewers were shut out of advance screenings . 
 ( i've never understood the reasoning behind this tactic , since good notices have never been key to the success of movies like the crow . ) 
so much for any confidence in the worthiness of their followup . 
this time , ashe ( french-accented actor vincent perez ) is retrieved from his watery death ( he and his young son were shackled together , shot , and then thrown off a pier ) by the crow who serves as his link between the worlds of the living and the dead . 
perez might have some screen presence if he's given something to do with himself , but here he's simply thrown in front of the camera as a pretty face . 
at first , he's shivery and frightened , but he quickly recovers from the shock of his own death and becomes a badass biker from beyond the grave . 
he's befriended by sarah ( mia kirshner ) , presumably an older version of the child who narrated the first film . 
kirshner , so beguiling in exotica , is here an exquisitely photographed blank . 
tattooed with angels' wings , sarah is just about as lovely as women come , but she serves no purpose , not even as seductress . 
the gang of punks who killed ashe are ostensibly commanded by judah ( richard brooks ) , but a far more interesting choice as leader would have been iggy pop , who plays a gaunt fellow named curve . 
iggy , all bones , veins , and drawl , is the only one who seems to have shared in the aesthetic of ruin that defines this film . 
like all good things here , he's dispatched too soon and without much imagination . 
in the meantime , we're subjected to tedious glimpses of judah's compound , where bondage is the order of the day and hot wax is poured over naked bodies in s&m fantasies that would seem shy of the cutting edge even if they weren't distinctly secondhand . 
even the soundtrack is tired . 
more than anything i've seen from hollywood lately , city of angels smacks baldly of product -- it's a movie with a lousy script but a great look . 
critics have been quick to fault the direction of mtv veteran tim pope , but his work isn't that bad per se . 
he's got a good eye , and some intriguing visual ideas -- if anything , this movie has a few too many scenes of ridiculously striking imagery . 
his major stylistic failing is that he can't seem to direct an action scene , and the quick , nonsensical cutting that ensues is reminiscent of a low budget kung fu movie . 
but as director , he must also shoulder the blame for the little screenplay that wasn't , the performers who couldn't , and an apparent lack of ideas on the parts of everyone involved . 
who bought david s . goyer's anemic script , anyway ? 
the producers of this crow were either too dim to realize their story was doomed to be a hollow rehash , or too cynical to figure their audience would know the difference . 
"
"-1","late in down to you , the lead female character ( julia stiles ) states her greatest fear is having an "" artificial conversation "" with her boyfriend ( freddie prinze jr . ) . 
the irony of this statement will not be lost on audience members who have not yet walked out , fallen asleep , or otherwise given up on this pathetic attempt at romantic comedy . 
the film is a multi-million dollar testament to everything artificial . 
filled with characters , motivation , plot and dialogue that ring fake and shallow at every step this is an unquestionable disaster . 
prinze plays a college student intent on playing the field until he falls for stiles' freshman co-ed . 
at first the movie seems to be an attempt to string along scenes with the sole purpose of out-doing the previous in how "" cute "" it can be . 
the happy couple "" psychoanalyze "" each other ; they pick out a song because , as prinze's dj mother ( lucie arnez ) explains , every couple needs a song ; he smells her shampoo ; she scratches his chest in the morning to let him know she wants to make love . 
then , in standard romantic comedy style , things fall apart . 
why ? 
well , because they have to . 
otherwise the couple can't make up and live ( presumably ) happily ever after . 
down to you exists outside the realm of normal logic . 
scenes do not connect to each other and it often seems to be attempting some sort of surrealism , but this is handled so poorly that everything comes off random and stupid instead . 
a picnic scene involving the six key characters is just bizarre , not only for the stretched logic of these people hanging out together , or even knowing each other , but mostly because an unusual amount of screen time is dedicated to a goat . 
the supporting characters are remarkably flat , and insultingly ridiculous as well . 
stiles' best friend ( rosario dawson ) is a pot head , prinze's roommate ( shawn hatosy ) is a girl crazy fool who can't meet women , and then there are the porn stars ( zak orth and selma blair ) . 
he is one of those famous porn stars who is frequently interviewed on television , does the college lecture circuit , and stars in high budget costume epic porns that are shot on film . 
you know , the average porn star . 
the costume epic idea gives him a reason to appear in a different ridiculous outfit everytime he's on screen , the porn angle exists just so there can be a couple of stupid sex jokes . 
she is a porn star mostly so we know she's slutty , so her very existence will make stiles jealous and prinze tempted . 
attempts at drama ( which means julia is going to cry ) include a pregnancy scare and the big break up . 
these characters are so insipid only the most forgiving viewer would be manipulated by these weak scenes . 
what happened here ? 
the cast is full of likable , promising , young actors ( stiles especially seems to be going places ) . 
writer/director kris isacsson has simply given them material so weak not even seasoned pros could pull it off . 
in fact the whole film feels like a reworking of last year's extremely unpleasant the story of us , for teen audiences . 
the direction is film-school-grad obvious . 
it's stylish in a hugely self conscious way which throws in split screen , a pointless parody of "" cops , "" characters walking into the flashbacks of other characters , and a hilariously cheesy airport meeting between prinze and stiles where all the extras move in fast motion while the couple moves in extreme slow motion . 
plus , the whole story is told flashback style , narrated by prinze and stiles directly addressing the camera . 
this is the second film in a row ( following wing commander ) starring freddie prinze jr . which should have premiered on the aisles of the local blockbuster but was likely saved from that fate due to the fluke success of she's all that . 
if he doesn't start making better choices fast his future films won't be so lucky . 
"
"-1","for better or worse , the appearance of basic instinct in the movie marketplace gave the greenlight to a whole slew of overheated , oversexed , underwritten thrillers . 
apparently not having joe eszterhas as the writer doesn't change a thing , since body of evidence wasn't written by him , but has a puzzling eszterhas-ish presence all over it . 
in other words , it's a ) really dirty and b ) really , really stupid . 
madonna ( first warning sign ) stars in body of evidence as a woman who has piles of money and no apparent job ; she lives on a houseboat and likes to parade around semi-naked , presumably for the edification of the shrimp . 
she's been accused of having murdered an older man who was her lover . 
already two classic examples of hollywood sexism are in effect -- the first being that any woman in a movie cannot be sexual unless she's under thirty ( or at least looks it ) , and that they usually only exist for the sake of studs or filthy rich older men . 
what's worse is that the movie confirms all the above , and wallows in them as well . 
madonna's character is accused of forcing sex on the old goat when she knew darned well he had a heart condition . 
 ( and yes , there are the obligatory cracks from the cops about how at least he died happy . 
this movie leave no scummy stone unturned . ) 
anyway . willem dafoe ( very good but completely wasted ) also stars as the lawyer who is doomed to run afoul of madonna's sexuality . 
how do we know this ? 
because his character is set up with the token wife and kids . 
how obvious is it that he's gonna cheat on her and have to fess everything up ? 
and get kicked out of the house ? 
and get welcomed back anyway ? 
don't skip to the end yet ; we're just getting warmed up . 
dafoe and madonna have a lot of sex in this movie . 
most of it is about as erotic as open-heart surgery , since it involves such goodies as hot candlewax ( always the kink of choice among screenwriters who don't know the first thing about * really * kinky sex ) and smashed light bulbs . 
don't ask . 
another thing that people are starting to realize about explicit sex in movies is that unless it is critically important to the story , it's insanely dull . 
what's worse is that body of evidence is dull * everywhere * , not just in the sex scenes . 
the stuff in the courtroom is recycled ninth-hand from other bad courtroom drama scenes . 
the thriller business itself is ridiculous -- it involves nasal spray bottles and drugs , and juergen prochnow as a surly doctor . 
and the ending -- another homage to eszterhas , maybe ? 
-- is one of those endings where you can almost see the exact * frame * where one of the five or six various endings to this mess was spliced in . 
the director is uli edel , all the more disappointing since he also directed the elegiac and powerful last exit to brooklyn and christiane f . everyone has to eat , i guess , but this isn't a meal ticket , it's leftovers . 
"
"-1","it was with great anticipation that i sat down to view braveheart last week as it premiered on american cable . 
the academy award winning film had been highly acclaimed . 
it also featured the music of one of my favorite film composers , james horner . 
what i was in for was a disappointing and overlong film which was anything but the best picture of 1995 . 
what drags braveheart down is its screenplay . 
it abounds with high production values : john toll's award-winning cinematography ( which also graced edward zwick's 1994 legends of the fall ) , a gorgeous score by horner , and the sort of logistics that make you wish assistant directors were household names . 
but this does not save a misguided script . 
the film wishes to paint its central character as a hero , but the viewer's only response to his "" heroism "" is intellectual : william wallace ( producer-director mel gibson ) is fighting for freedom and against tyranny , so we have to root for him . 
but wallace's actions paint a different story . 
he speaks of freedom and acts of vengeance . 
though one intellectually realizes wallace is on the right side , the film paints an unconvincing emotional portait , in which wallace is just not as bad as the english king . 
wallace speaks of freedom , but his acts point toward vengeance . 
after kicking the english out of scotland , he decides to invade england . 
this is evident of a "" spartacus complex "" , and this example applies both historically and cinematically . 
the historical spartacus at one point moved from liberating slaves to sacking roman cities ; the film spartacus , like braveheart , has high production values and competent performaces and is dragged down by an awful screenplay . 
it is a shame that such an excellent score is part of such a terrible film . 
horner's score tries to make emotional connection , but the performances and the script do not help . 
gibson portrays wallace in such a way that the audience cannot relate to him or identify with him . 
this drags down any emotional connection to the film's plot , and turns three hours into a total waste of time . 
"
"-1","susan granger's review of "" the watcher "" ( universal ) 
just what we need : another lurid , trashy serial killer saga . 
this time , keanu reeves plays an elusive homicidal maniac who engages in a gruesome ticking-clock cat-and-mouse game with james spader , a burnt-out fbi agent who has suffered a traumatic nervous breakdown after too many years on the job with the lapd . 
to taunt spader , who has relocated to chicago , reeves packs up his trusty piano wire and moves too . 
before long , he starts mailing photographs of the lonely , unsuspecting young women who are his intended windy city victims , challenging spader , along with the chicago police department , to stop him within 24 hours before he strikes again . 
in the midst of this murderous frenzy , there's spader's psychologist , played by marisa tomei , who is even less convincing as a medical professional than jennifer lopez in "" the cell . "" 
writers david elliot , clay ayers and darcy meyers , along with first-time director joe charbanic ( helmer of music videos for reeves' band dogstar ) , dwell on the warped thrill of the methodology and the chase , revealing , early on , exactly whodunit since the killer says he and the cop "" need each other to give meaning to our lives . "" 
plus , as reeves explains , "" we're all stacked right on top of each other , but we don't notice each other any more . "" 
after that , it's all sound effects and tricky camera-work , along with a muddled , discordant soundtrack . 
james spader's acting technique can be described as 'wooden deadpan' while keanu reeves maintains his perpetually monotone 'dude' persona which sometimes works , sometimes doesn't . 
chris ellis , as spader's self-important colleague , is the only cast member who manages to be convincing . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" the watcher "" is an appallingly awful , amateurish 2 . the real torture is watching it . 
"
"-1","ahh yes . 
the teenage romance . 
an attractive young cast is pitted into an unlikely scenario that could only happen in the movies , and in the end , the guy always gets the girl . 
and with the arrival of the breakout hit `she's all that' last year ( followed by a long catalogue of imitators including `10 things i hate about you' and `drive me crazy' ) , the genre previously on life support is once again a hot commodity . 
along now comes `down to you' . 
the folks at miramax are obviously trying to capitalize on the rabid `she's all that' craze with their latest project , which has the studdly freddie prinze jr . attached and all . 
only `down to you' doesn't have the ? unlikely scenario' mentioned above . 
it is an extraordinarily ordinary romance - a dull , unattractive teen comedy that sticks to the boring game plan that we're accustomed to . 
this is the kind of romance that only giggly 12-year old girls will find convincing . 
in strictly textbook fashion , college sophomore and aspiring chef al ( prinze jr . ) meets freshman artist imogen ( julia stiles ) . 
they hit it off like a couple can only in the movies . 
from here , it's the standard boy-meets-girl , boy-loses-girl , boy-drinks-entire-bottle-of-shampoo-and-may-or-may-not-get-girl-back story . 
the plot is conveniently assembled to suit the requirements of the main characters , who are frequently taking part in activities that . . . . 
well , only happen in the movies . 
fortunately , the cast of `down to you' has a certain appeal . 
freddie prinze jr . and julia stiles are an adorable couple , and when on screen together , they radiate the sort of warmth and charisma that the movie should have centered around . 
zak orth , as the newly realized porn star monk , shows an unmistakable flair with handling all of the film's intelligent dialogue . 
rounding out the impressive ensemble of young talent are shawn hatosy ( `the faculty' ) , selma blair ( `cruel intentions' ) and ashton kutcher ( tv's `that 70's shows' ) . 
even the fonz himself - henry winkler , the epitome of teenage angst and nostalgia - has a welcome role as al's dad , the host of the popular cooking program `chef ray' . 
maybe the concept of `down to you' looked good on paper to draw such a crowd . 
as a feature film , however , the finished product is bland and tasteless fluff with only an occasional whiff of cuteness to keep the gears from stopping entirely . 
perhaps worst of all , `down to you' is not funny . 
the jokes are drawn from obvious sources and the resulting humor is banal and uninspired . 
the characters on screen , often laughing at each other's goofy/embarrassing antics , seemed far more amused than the audience . 
even the giggly 12-year old girls had grown restless toward the end as they waited impatiently for the formula to run it's course . 
the one mildly clever segment featured winkler and prinze jr . in a fantasy sequence called `cooks' , a `cops' take-off in which the father and son would storm houses and cook a decent meal for ? needy' families ( with the assistance of a fully-armed swat team , of course ) . 
when this is the highlight reel , you know the remaining film could leave something to be desired . 
in order to make a teen comedy work , you've got to have characters that show something by way of depth and identity . 
`10 things i hate about you' actually featured characters who were more than walking flashcards , and the result was refreshing . 
no such luck with `down to you' . 
it's just a textbook romance where , despite absurd circumstances , everything is bound to work out in the end . 
and at the end of the whole clich ? d ordeal , the nicest thing you could possibly say would be ` . . . . 
only in the movies' . 
"
"-1"," "" virus "" is the type of cliched , vacuous film that has been recylcled so many times before that you wonder why anyone would even bother putting work into making it . 
strangely enough , on the same mid-january weekend last year , another film was released like this , "" deep rising , "" about an ugly monster on a cruise liner . 
prior movies with the almost exact same storyline include 1989's "" leviathan , "" 1989's "" deep star six , "" and all four "" alien "" pictures . 
 "" virus , "" in comparison , is a servicable thriller , well-made and produced , but since it doesn't include one moment of even remote originality or intelligence , it sinks under the weight of the water that the film was shot on . 
based on a series of comic books , "" virus "" concerns the crew of an ocean salvage tugboat , which becomes extremely damaged during a violent typhoon . 
after discovering that the boat is slowly sinking , ( un ) lucky for them , a huge ocean vessel that appears to be dead in the water turns up within the confines of their radar screen . 
once the team reaches the russian ship , they go on board to find that the place is seemingly deserted . 
after turning the power back on , however , there gradually are signs that something else is on the ship , and the electrical equipment is oddly working by itself . 
one survivor finally does turn up , nadia ( joanna pacula ) , who informs the suicidal and stern captain ( donald sutherland ) and one of the crew , kit foster ( jamie lee curtis ) , that a mysterious alien life form hit the santi mir space station which then was transported down to the ship , taking over the minds of all of the electrical machines and thinking that humans are viruses that should be completely wiped out . 
if "" virus "" sounds like all of the previously mentioned movies , you're correct . 
although the technical artistry is fairly impressive to bring the mechanical creature to life , the film itself doesn't appear to have a brain in its head . 
the film sticks so close to the worn-out conventions of the "" creature "" genre that it is amazing anyone would spend the money and time filming it when they could be making an original film . 
the actors are all very good and have all proven their acting abilities in the past , but they are sorely wasted here and do not really even have characters to play . 
in her second return to horror in the last year , jamie lee curtis once again proves to be a strong and resourceful heroine , but that is about it . 
although 1998's "" halloween : h20 "" was also a disappointment , at least she was given a few scenes to develop a character , unlike here . 
donald sutherland has fallen on hard times recently by starring in thoroughly disposable films , such as 1994's "" the puppet masters , "" although i just watched him in the superb 1978 sci-fi classic "" invasion of the body snatchers , "" where he was fabulous . 
the last of the three top-billers is william baldwin , but it is fairly hard to say if he is good or not in the picture , since he has nothing to do . 
basically , "" virus "" is another one of those films where a group of people walk around and investigate a space ship/ocean liner/haunted house until the deadly and equally grotesque and slimy creature pops up and kills them one-by-one . 
it is not the worst of its type , but it is far from one of the best , and when exactly are studios going to give up recycling such shameless and overdone plot gimmicks such as this ? 
as long as some of them keep making money , i suspect the answer is never . 
"
"-1","over 40 years ago , a japanese production company called toho introduced the land of the rising sun to gojira , a reptilian creature of immense proportions created by mankind's nuclear testing . 
partly flight of fancy , partly commentary on the exploitation of atomic power and weaponry , gojira emerged from the ocean to terrorize tokyo . 
a year later , gojira was marketed to the united states by adding three things : a new name , a dubbed english track , and raymond burr . 
as godzilla , the film took on the rest of the world . 
thirty years later , toho remade the classic film and once again took it to the american market by adding the same three things ( yes , including raymond burr ) and called it godzilla 1985 . 
now it's 14 years after toho's remake , and director roland emmerich has allowed the giant lizard to make an american first run . 
in emmerich's godzilla , matthew broderick plays dr . niko tatopoulos , a biologist who is called in to join other scientists in the south pacific already studying the existence of a radiation-induced super mutant which leaves footprints the size of livingrooms . 
when the mutant reptile suddenly appears out of the hudson river , tatopoulos and the rest of the team relocate themselves back to the states . 
meanwhile , tatopoulos's college girlfriend , audrey timmonds ( maria pitillo ) , works in new york city as an assistant to a big-time news reporter . 
she'd like to be a reporter herself , and when godzilla comes ashore , she figures this is her big break . 
of course , with the big guy running amok in the city , niko and audrey are bound to cross paths , and are joined by victor "" animal "" palotti ( hank azaria ) , audrey's trusty cameraman friend , and phillipe roche ( jean reno ) , an operative for the french government , whose nuclear testing started the whole problem in the first place . 
together they attempt to find and destroy the surprisingly elusive godzilla . 
with the resources of the most cutting edge special effects houses and the clout of one of the nation's premiere movie production companies , one would think emmerich could make a film truly deserving of the name godzilla . 
he didn't . 
right up there with the lost world , godzilla is one of the biggest disappointments in recent cinematic history . 
the plot is pretty much what we expect : the big dinosaur-like creature comes out of the water and starts smashing new york city , and it's up to our heroes to figure out why this thing is on its rampage and how it can be stopped , while the military makes futile attempts to bring the creature down . 
the script , however , is painfully bad . 
it's fraught with lines so corny , they don't even belong in b-movies , and includes many character actions which make you think , "" you idiot , "" or "" you stupid girl . "" 
i suppose when you've got a movie with a giant lizard loose in new york , any other semblance of reality goes out the window as well . 
why is it that godzilla topples some buildings by merely brushing against them , but is conveniently able to leap atop others ? 
why do helicopters have to follow godzilla by flying dangerously between buildings where they can lose sight of him , when they could more easily keep track of him by flying a little higher and in a straight line ? 
why do sidewinder missiles , which have small explosive warheads , blow up entire buildings when they miss godzilla ? 
why is a mission to bomb madison square garden carried out by three f-18 fighter-bombers , when flights of such aircraft are always comprised of multiples of two ? 
okay , maybe the last one was a bit nit-picky , but hey , i was on a roll . 
broderick is usually a good actor , but in this film he's weighed down by an unexciting character and an atrocious screenplay which seem to fight against him every step of the way . 
hank azaria does what he can , but don't expect to see development of any of the promise he showed in the birdcage . 
like broderick's , azaria's character is quite simply lacking in color . 
what really annoyed me was maria pitillo , who actually takes the bad script and makes it worse with her acting . 
casting must have been asleep on this one . 
the one bright spot here is jean reno , who oddly enough seems to fit well into a role which is often comedic , quite unlike what we've seem him do in the past . 
although his character is contradictory to the unfolding disaster , reno brings a style to the role of phillipe which makes him enjoyable . 
unfortunately , the same cannot be said of the other incongruities . 
the entire feel of the movie is tongue-in-cheek , and seems to pay comical homage to a dozen or so films that have come before it . 
this results in a significant amount of parody , which contrasts sharply with the threat of the monster , and ends up just producing a mess . 
most of the characters seem to be there for comic relief , and almost none are smart enough for the audience to take seriously . 
although emmerich obviously wanted to make a fun action picture , what good is it to sink millions into a cgi creature whose ferocity is undermined by the humans he threatens ? 
if we can't take the characters seriously , the threat they face is an empty one because we simply don't care what happens to them . 
godzilla simply pulls too many punches in its attempt to be a film more light-hearted than it should be . 
far be it from me to want to see more carnage in the theaters , but here's a behemoth running through the city ! 
there's bound to be a lot of casualties , but instead godzilla is afflicted with the after-school g . i . 
joe cartoon syndrome , where almost everyone seems to get out of harm's way just in time . 
in a couple of scenes , godzilla briefly breathes fire . 
none of the characters even remark upon this ability , nor is it used to any particular advantage by the filmmakers . 
it's as if the special effects people just wanted to show that yes , godzilla can do this , just like in the old movie . 
consider another punch pulled . 
through creative script writing , you can make a sequel out of just about any movie , but the final scene in this one doesn't just leave the door open , it opens into a hallway leading directly into a room where godzilla ii is waiting patiently . 
it made me want to gag . 
emmerich should have done away with 90% of the humor and in-jokes and played this one as a straight action film . 
with an intelligently written screenplay , godzilla could have been so much more . 
however , by confusing the viewer with a ton of add-ins and parodies , the movie ends up being something that just doesn't work . 
now if they only had raymond burr . . . . 
"
"-1","before the remake of psycho appears , we've got to suffer through this remake of an earlier hitchcock film , dial m for murder . 
as usual , hollywood has filled it with glitz and big name stars , and it all amounts to a loud sounding nothing . 
the film opens with emily ( paltrow ) and david ( viggo mortensen ) 'having fun' in an loft apartment . 
the problem is , paltrow is married to stephen ( douglas ) , who is not too happy when he discovers this affair . 
if i was paltrow , though , i'd definitely go with mortensen . 
less wrinkles . 
anyhow , stephen approaches david with an interesting proposition : he'll pay him to kill his lovely wife . 
mortensen agrees , but the murder goes awry , and the twists keep on coming as the film progresses . 
unfortunately , the film dosen't progress very fast . 
in fact , it moves like a tortoise with arthritis ( read : very , very s-l-o-w . ) 
the plot moves nowhere fast , and only becomes exciting in very short bursts . 
not too good for a 'thriller . ' 
also , the performances , apart from douglas , are below par . 
paltrow , showing immense talent in se7en ( 1995 ) and sliding doors ( 1997 ) is strangely stilted , even unconvincing , in this movie . 
mortensen is a little bit better , coming across as a younger douglas , but his role isn't meaty enough to show all his talent . 
which leaves douglas to waltz away with the film , which is does . 
however , i doubt douglas finds it very hard to play a stogie smoking , drinking womanizer with a creepy underside . 
also popping up in the film is david suchet , playing a shifty looking detective . 
again , it's not a character we're seeing on the screen , it's david suchet . 
the director , who bought us the fugitive , piles on all the flash techniques , such as zoom-in's , quick cuts , etc . the lighting is also interesting . 
however , looks can't save this film from the depths of mediocre , and the film seemed to work better in a single set anyway . 
the screenplay is o . k , but there's some hackneyed sub-plot about douglas being a ruthless player on wall street ( again ) and the ending is surprisingly stupid and cliched . 
the characters also make incredibly dumb moves , especially paltrow , and stephen appears to lose all intelligence in the last reel . 
with a combination of no tension , drama , or decent characters , a perfect murder is a failure all round , and an incredible disappointment . 
there are a few bright moments , but they are far and few between . 
the last thing a thriller should be is boring , and although the film just barely manages to keep your interest thanks to michael douglas , you wouldn't be missing anything if you decided not to watch a perfect murder . 
overall rating= 
review by david wilcock ? 1998 
 "" you know , for kids "" - norville barnes 
"
"-1","coinciding with the emerging popularity of movies that deal with anything related to serial killers , relentless , 1989 low budget thriller about lapd detective sam dietz , played by character actor leo rossi , spawned three more sequels . 
relentless 3 , third in the row , features sam dietz again , but this time detective , who had to catch vicious serial killer in his very first case , doesn't want to deal with similar line of work . 
divorced , demoralised and transferred , he reluctantly returns to his old post when los angeles becomes a hunting ground for another serial killer , and evidence indicate connection with one of dietz's old cases . 
to make things even more interesting , it seems that the killer deliberately stages murders in order to bring dietz to the investigation . 
fans of the british tv films and mini-series like prime suspect or cracker would probably see a lot of similarities relentless series of movies . 
they both feature vicious psychopathic killers , yet also give a lot of , usually depressive , details about chief investigator's private lives . 
this one isn't an exception , but similarities with british television are only in content . 
the execution and style is different , which makes this film mediocre piece of entertainment at best . 
useless , gratuitous erotica also doesn't help either , obviously making this film longer than it should be . 
the actors are good , though - leo rossi is fine as usual , and william forsythe plays one of more compelling villains in his career . 
signy coleman as dietz's love interest , is , on the other hand , quite miscast . 
but she won't have to worry about it in the future career , since relentless 3 wasn't supposed to be anybody's finest moment anyway . 
"
"-1","edward burns tackles his third picture with no looking back , and like his previous two , it is a working-class relationship picture . 
however , unlike his previous work , the film dwells on a more personal story , and with a female protagonist . 
and in no looking back , he stumbles , making a slow , boring film without the spark that enlivened his previous work . 
claudia ( lauren holly ) is a small town waitress who is feeling stifled by her life . 
she's at a turning point in her life , and feels as if she's going nowhere . 
her boyfriend , michael ( jon bon jovi ) , is broke and in a dead end job . 
if she were to marry him , she'd never get a chance to escape this town . 
enter charlie ( edward burns ) , claudia's old flame . 
he skipped town several years before , without any explanations . . . even 
for claudia . 
he has come back to town to see her , and suddenly she is torn . 
should she stay with stable michael , and never escape her hometown . . . or 
should she ignore her instincts and fall for charlie again . 
part of the answer lies in the character of her mother ( blythe danner ) , who fell for the wrong man . . . and has spent her life pining for claudia's father to return . 
now it seems that claudia is about to make the same mistakes . 
at only a little past ninety minutes , no looking back is rather short for its genre . 
unfortunately , it seems much much longer . 
the storyline is simple and uninspired , and there's a lack of energy to the whole proceedings , which makes the entire drama rather tedious . 
edward burns makes a misstep by casting himself in the crucial role as the egomaniacal old flame . 
there's no one to restrain his ego , which reigns unchecked . 
he walks into the room and lauren holly swoons . . . yeah , 
right . 
lauren holly does what she can with her central character . 
but we never understand why her character makes such pathetically bad decisions . . . and 
we never really care . 
bon jovi is the only sympathetic character in the whole movie . 
his acting talents are much greater than they might seem , but he is given a mostly bland and ineffective role to work with . 
there's not much to recommend in no looking back . 
it's not that the film is bad . . . it's 
simply boring . 
there's no zest in any aspect of the film , and no reason to spend ninety minutes watching it . 
"
"-1","i don't expect much from eddie murphy these days . 
for the past four years , the gods of cinema--or the expansive payrolls of studio conglomerates--have allowed him to make one bad movie after another . 
such films as metro , doctor dolittle , holy man , life , and bowfinger have reduced a once great comedic persona to a living and breathing washed-up hack performing as a studio puppet for 20th century fox and universal pictures . 
the biggest shame to fall on his shoulders is his newest film , nutty professor ii : the klumps . 
the klumps once again revisits the life of sherman klump , an overweight university science professor looking for love in all the wrong places . 
sherman has just invented a new "" youth drink "" that enables man or beast to become younger for a short period of time . 
janet jackson is the love interest who chooses the lovable sherman for a soul mate rather than excel at her career as a university professor ( and for the most ridiculous reasons ) . 
with love on his mind , sherman is determined to rid himself of his alter ego , buddy love from the first professor , who still resides with vigor inside his psyche and causes sherman to act like a bad imitation of vince vaughn from swingers . 
with some convoluted mumbo-jumbo about dna extraction , sherman extracts the "" buddy love "" link in his dna and smartly deposits buddy into a handy-dandy lab beaker . 
but one night , the beaker is knocked over and buddy love is regenerated . . . 
because every movie like this needs an unnecessary villain to thwart the good guy . 
then the klump family , all played by eddie murphy , step in for some comedic relief involving old people having sex , flabby breasts , a slew of fart and dick jokes , and enough fat people jokes that i lost count after the first thirty minutes . 
and did i mention the part where larry miller gets anally raped by an overgrown hamster ? 
the movie finally dissolves into a really bad hallmark family special about realizing who you are and what you can be in this world -- with enough soft lighting and people on the verge of tears in every scene . 
pure and simple , the klumps is a failure . 
its script was handled by not one but five screenwriters , and it really shows during the awkward transitions between scenes . 
any sense of story and plot were lost in the rewrite process . 
it's more discerning to learn that chris weitz and paul weitz , the team behind one of the funniest films of the last decade , american pie , have their names stamped to this trash . 
hey guys - quick note - keep this movie off of your resumes . 
the characterization of sherman's family , the klumps , is one of the most ignorant stereotypes of a black family i have ever seen in cinema . 
everyone member of the family is a large person who wipes the bins clean at a local buffet restaurant like pigs at a trough . 
the grandma is an oversexed fiend who constantly talks of ways to pleasure her man and her sagging breasts . 
the father is gruff , is fired from a blue-collar job , is sexually inadequate , and cannot communicate with his family about his feelings . 
the mother is ignorant of all the negativity around her and seems to hold no opinion about anything or anyone . 
the brother is silent and brooding and resembles the ice cube gangster character from boyz in the hood . 
sherman himself is terribly insecure and never conveys anything for the audience to become attached to . 
but the main problem with the film is its inability to create any type of convincing conversational or situational comedy . 
the family scenes from the first nutty professor worked so well because their conversations were short and direct . 
and you got the feeling that these crass people couldn't act like this all the time . 
the sequel does the reverse and drives the negatives of the klumps right in to the hilt , making the first five minutes of their interaction enjoyable and the last 55 or so unbearable and pathetic . 
after a while , their conversations just become a barrage of frustrated anger tinged with indecency and overworked premises that end up drawing energy away from any type of empathy one might feel for the central themes of the story . 
its also a damn shame that the makeup magic of rick baker -- who worked on the original nutty professor and won an academy award for his work on an american werewolf in london -- and amazing digital special effects that enabled murphy to interact with himself in such beautiful motions are built around such a lame story line . 
even the best effects can't seem to save the most pathetic of movies these days . 
now that i think about it , the worst thing about this film has to be all the money that it will make . 
people will be lined up around the block for it . 
the studios will concoct the a sequel for release in the summer of 2002 . 
eddie murphy will be signed up to take not just one role or five roles , but he'll play every character in the movie . 
i just can't wait to see eddie murphy in a love scene with himself . 
"
"-1","brian de palma , the director who bought us carrie , dressed to kill and mission : impossible is back , and has bought all his technical expertise with him . 
sadly , he forget to bring a good story and believable characters . 
nic cage plays rick santaro , a fast talking cop who is watching a boxing match with his friend commander kevin dunne ( sinise . ) 
an assassination takes place , and santaro tries to peace together how it took place , trying to work out the roles of the people involved in this conspiracy . 
the film uses flashbacks and video cameras to bring the mystery together . 
however , the film doesn't keep the mystery for long , and once the big 'secret' is out concerning kevin dunne , the film is at a dead end . 
although there are some fantastic shots by de palma , including a 15 minute steadicam shot at the start of the film , halfway through the film drops dead . 
the problem is that de palma doesn't have a strong story or characters to work with . 
he tries to offshoot this with flashy camera techniques , but pretty soon this has no effect on the audience , and i quickly got bored . 
nic cage and gary sinise try to inject some life into some poorly realised characters , but it's no use . 
they are boring , faceless , and completely unlikeable . 
yes , another problem with the film is that there's no-one to root for . 
we're supposed to be on cage's side , because his character becomes nicer throughout the film . 
however , his change is sadly unbelievable . 
poor gary sinise's character is terrible , who completely changes throughout the start , the middle and the end , in an appalling way . 
the film's use of flashback quickly gets boring . 
while clever and interesting the first few times , it quickly becomes apparent that flashbacks are being used because the film has nowhere to go . 
they certainly don't increase the tension or suspense of the movie . 
there is small thread of suspense running through the film , but it certainly doesn't make this film a powerhouse thriller , rather just a slightly below average one . 
the script is lousy and contrived , the characters flat and two dimensional . 
certainly not good factors for a film passing itself off for a thriller . 
the most depressing aspect of the film is that it had potential . 
there's a good story buried in snake eyes , it's just bogged down in razzle dazzle and flashbacks . 
it also gives itself away far too quickly , rather than leaving the big twist for the end . 
while the performances are intriguing , especially by newcomer carla gugino as a sexy 'number cruncher' wrapped up in the case , there's no way of altering the fact that snake eyes is a terminal case of style of substance , and unless you're a big fan of either cage or flash directing , should be avoided . 
a david wilcock review ? 1998 
 "" you know , for kids "" - norville barnes 
"
"-1","it's now the anniversary of the slayings of julie james' ( jennifer love hewitt ) best friends . 
still besieged by nightmarish memories of the man responsible for it all , she seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown . 
she can't concentrate on her schoolwork , can't get a good night's sleep , and is even frightened by the shadows and the blinking strobe lights at a local dance club . 
everywhere she looks , she sees visions of the man in a rubber slicker with the hook on his hand . 
in the first movie , `i know what you did last summer' , julie and three of her friends accidentally kill a man , running him down while driving down a dark mountain highway . 
to cover their misdeed , they dump the body into the ocean . 
however , he never quite died and returned to hunt down julie and her friends . 
julie and one other , ray ( freddie prinze jr . ) , survived only to make this dismal sequal . 
needing some desparate rest and relaxation , she is elated to learn that her college roommate , karla ( brandy ) , has won a trip for four to a secluded tropical island . 
accompanying these two girls are karla's overbearing boyfriend , tyrell ( mehki phifer ) and a potential beau for julie . 
but was this contest too good to be true ? 
the resort is filled with a skeleton staff that seemed like love boat rejects . 
meanwhile , the hotel is practically deserted as the storm season is about to begin . 
this presumably creates a venue where they will be secluded and will have no possible means off the island . 
eventually , they will be hunted down during power outages and chased around during intense lightning storms . 
as you might have guessed , somewhere in the shadows lurk a mysteriously strange figure that is wearing a rubber slicker and wielding a hook . 
julie tries to convince her friends that the killer is on the island ( an eerie touch is when she is singing "" i will survive "" at the karaoke bar and the words scroll "" i still know . . . "" ) , but her friends chalk it up to paranoia . 
but the body count soon starts to rise , and for julie , it's going to be the worst vacation of her life . 
the funny ( yes , i used the word 'funny' ) thing about this movie is that i heard more chortling and giggling ( maybe it was my giggling ) than i heard screaming . 
this movie boils down to a mindless slashfest that never conjures up any amount of wry wit or even a quirky campiness . 
there isn't even any suspense that leads up to the deaths . 
here's an appropriate example . 
knock-knock . 
 "" housekeeping "" , says the diminuitive cleaning lady . 
the door suddenly opens up . 
slash . 
next victim ! 
is there any reason to go and see this movie ? 
not unless you want to see four uninteresting college kids run around in circles for about 90 minutes . 
but i do want to say one thing about this movie that satisfied me . 
i was thoroughly irritated with tyrell , who incessantly ranted and raved about his sexual libido . 
i secretly wished for him to get filleted . 
did he get 'hooked' ? 
well , let's just say that if he didn't , i would give this film a grade of "" d "" . 
"
"-1","lucas was wise to start his star wars trilogy with episode 4 : episode 1 is a boring , empty spectacle that features some nice special effects . 
after the familiar 'a long time ago . . . . ' 
opening , the film starts with the opening yellow crawl that features in every star wars movie and computer game . 
the plot is that the trade confederation are blocking off supplies to the peaceful planet of naboo , ruled by queen amidala ( portman ) jedi knights qui-gon ( neeson ) and obi wan ( mcgregor ) are sent to negotiate a deal with the confederation to stop the blockade . 
however , this simple blockade is not all it seems , and the jedi knights soon have to deal with many more dangers , including facing the evil darth maul ( ray park . ) 
they also meet the future darth vadar , anakin skywalker ( jake lloyd ) 
star wars is largely a failure in all the major areas of filmmaking : script , direction and characters . 
the script desperately tries to make an thin and boring story into a two hour epic . 
the trade confederation plot is just not as exciting as the death star , and as the film goes on the drama becomes more and more non-existent . 
there's no underlying tension , and no urgent need to see what the outcome is . 
the film also takes a leisurely pace in telling the boring story , which doesn't help . 
there's no snap to make the film work , it moves at a plod . 
the script is boring : all the characters speak in morals , especially anakins mother . 
there's no group spirit evident here , and when all characters can speak only in profound statements or bark orders , it's evident that not much is going to happen . 
the two leads are hideously boring , static characters given little to do and too much time to do it . 
qui-gon and obi-wan hold no presence on film , and give little for the audience to root for . 
the audience will probably warm more to bad guy darth maul , if he had been given more screen time . 
maul is one of the most underused bad guys in film history , even if he does provide the only 'straight' plot line in the film ( all the other plots in this film are to be concluded throughout the trilogy . ) 
anakin is annoying and unlikeable . , 
instead of cute and huggable as lucas no doubt intended . 
it's probably not surprising that his hateful little boy , unfortunately blessed 'ani' by everyone he knows , joins the dark side and kills everyone as quickly as possible . 
the comedy relief is supposedly provided by the gangly jar jar brinks , although in the end none is provided in the film by him . 
although his floppy features will no doubt be great for stuffed toys , the lines and actions he is given are painfully unfunny . 
the only good laugh is when his tongue is burned by a 'pod' racer , because i knew he wouldn't be able to talk for a while . 
queen amidala is a nothing in the film , she serves no real purpose apart from the fact that she must 'serve her people , ' and go goo-goo over anakin . 
again , her role will become more important in the later episodes , and is given little to do here . 
the actors don't help the movie much either . 
liam neeson seems bored and embarrassed , and seems desperate to leave the movie as quickly as possible . 
mcgregor comes across as a posh mothers boy , with little charm . 
the casting director must have chose him because he's scottish like alec guinness : there's little other explanation for it . 
natalie portman is plagued by hideous costumes and a poor script , but she delivers a spunky performance . 
and jake lloyd looks at everyone with hateful eyes and delivers his lines in a bored voice . 
there's very little talent evident with him , it's hard to see why lucas chose him when there are better child actors out there . 
he's not even very 'cute . ' 
the main claim of the film , the special effects , are okay . 
there's nothing impressive about them , yet they complement the story well . 
the cgi takes away much of the human element , however . 
the battle droids for example , the replacement for the stormtroopers , are characterless little computer graphics , lacking the humour and humanness that came from the stormtroopers . 
episode 1 is just disappointing . 
it's got high production values , but little else . 
the music is meandering , except near the end . 
the plot gives us no-one to root for , or even care for . 
the effects are nice , but dull . 
the plot goes on for half an hour longer than it should . 
there's an air of manufacturing among the whole sorry affair , and many clich ? s are catered for throughout the film . 
apart from a remotely exciting pod race sequence , episode 1 is a dry affair that serves little purpose , except to make money and to get us to watch episode 2 to see what happens to the many unfinished plot lines in the film . 
disappointing is barely the word . 
rating= 
"
"-1","five girls spend a day in a closed building doing inventory when a strange box gets delivered there ( is this starting to sound familiar ? ) by mistake . 
the girls accidentlly open the box ( big surprise , huh ! ) and release an evil spirit of a killer that kills the girls off one by one ( betcha didn't see that one coming ! ) . 
hard to die , i found out while watching the film , is a sequel to sorority house massacre 2 : nightie nightmare ( r . a . m . r . # 
1521 ) . 
two of the actresses from sorority house massacre 2 are in this film , robyn harris and melissa moore , but they play different characters here . 
orville ketchum is also back as ( get ready for this ) orville ketchum ( yes , the same character from number two ) . 
yes , he is also built like a tank in this film too . 
i'm telling you , a nuclear bomb detonated next to this man wouldn't harm him at all ! 
the before mentioned three were the only actors from part two that i thought could act , well they seemed to have lost that ability . 
thankfully , for my sanity , i also saw the film warlock , which undid all the ill effects that i got from this film . 
the story for this film is completely ridiculous and has many elements from many cheapo low budget horror flicks . 
any good moments that this film fails to make are even more destroyed by the story line . 
the film is so pathetically predictable that every moment has already been figured out , analyzed , and discarded before it happens . 
there is no point in this film that any suspense is ever afoot . 
while we are on the subject of the story , the story also provides every chance it can to disrobe an actress . 
the film goes to the extent of putting a shower in the manager's office . 
i'm sorry folks but this is completely unnecessary , ridiculous , and hurts the story more ( if that is still possible ) . 
the script for this film is completely pathetic . 
the lines the actresses come out with are completely horrible . 
the only thing that i think could have happened is that the actors made up the script as they went along . 
here is an example of the wonderful dialog . 
the scene is two girls have just entered a gun store and have picked out a * really * big gun . 
the line is "" my dad used to be a marine , i bet i can work it . "" 
this line has got to be a contender for the bad line hall of infamy . 
now , we fast forward for a few minutes until just after a big plan ( ? ! ! ? ) has been presented . 
one comment from an actress is "" not a lot of strategy involved , but i like it . "" 
i'm afraid folks that this is about as good as they get . 
now lets talk about the great special effects for this film . 
this obviously wasn't a big concern of the film makers . 
the killing scenes are so obviously faked that they go to the point of threatening the viewer's intelligence . 
a girl gets hacked with a knife and enough blood comes out to do one friday the 13th movie . 
are we trying to see how unrealistic we can get ? 
the continuity department was obviously asleep ( along with the viewers ) when watching this film . 
in one shot , actress has cloths on , camera angle changes , actress seems to have lost clothing . 
very impressive trick ! 
the one ( half ? ) 
plus that this film has going for it , is that in many places it is unintentionally hilarious . 
the incompetence behind the film makes it incredibly funny , and so the viewer can get some enjoyment ( ? ! ! ? ) from the film . 
however , this doesn't make it worth the rental fee of over a penny . 
in the acting department , the only thing i can say is two thumbs squared and one head down . 
i would normally do a detailed paragraph on this topic , but there is no point here because there is nobody that i was impressed with in the least . 
oh well , win some , lose some . 
"
"-1","the first film produced by adam sandler's happy madison production company ( clever title eh ? ) is essentially a one joke movie , much like the movies sandler stars in himself . 
however the difference here is that this one joke just isn't very funny . 
rob schneider stars as the title character , a scruffy fish tank cleaner who ends up becoming a "" man-whore "" to raise enough money to replace a wealthy client's custom made fish tank , which deuce destroyed while staying in his home . 
deuce goes on numerous "" dates "" , and each woman he goes out with has a "" humorous "" quirk about herself . 
one has narcolepsy , one has tourette's syndrome , one is a man . . . 
etc . etc . 
my problem is that we see all of these women in the film's trailer , so why do i need to watch the movie ? 
seen the trailer . . . 
seen the film . 
only a quick cameo from norm macdonald ( and a follow up joke during the closing credits ) generates any chuckles . 
deuce bigalow : male gigolo is available on dvd from touchstone home video ( a division of di$ney ) . 
the disc includes the film in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1 . 85 : 1 , and features the original theatrical trailer ( as well as trailers for mystery alaska , happy texas , and outside providence ) , an extremely brief production featurette ( which contains footage not used in the film ) , and storyboard-to-scene comparisons . 
yep , you read that right . . . 
there are storyboard comparisons on this dvd . 
two scenes are storyboarded . . . 
neither of which are particularly exciting . 
there are fight scenes in this movie , so why aren't we seeing storyboards of those segments ( especially the parody moments from the matrix ) ? 
i wonder what's funnier : the fact that any moment in this film required storyboards or that di$ney thought fans of this film would want to see them ? 
deleted scenes ? 
sure . 
audio commentary ? 
you betcha . 
but storyboards ? 
come on . 
[r] 
"
"-1","tectonic plates is an incredibly painful motion picture experience that nearly prompted me to walk out 20 minutes into the movie . 
the film ( which opened in canada during 1992 but was never released in the united states ) is based on a 1988 stage play by canadian auteur robert lapage , and , while it's evident that this could be a fascinating live production , the translation to the screen is a creative disaster . 
enduring tectonic plates is like sitting through a filmed version of performance art -- lifeless and tedious . 
the qualities that make it captivating when seen in person are effaced in the motion picture medium . 
tectonic plates has a storyline , although the narrative is developed in a decidedly non-traditional fashion , with shots of the stagebound play intercut with more typical cinematic sequences . 
it's not an inherently uninteresting way to present a movie ( despite the valid complaint that it is pretentious , all-but-screaming , "" look ! 
art ! "" ) , 
although it keeps the audience distanced from the characters . 
because we're constantly made aware that we're watching a play or a movie , it's impossible to accept these individuals as anything more than mouthpieces for the writer's ideas . 
they're not real , sympathetic , or believable . 
i'm willing to give director peter mettler credit for trying something different , but this particular experiment is not a success . 
tectonic plates opens by introducing us to madeleine ( marie gignac ) , an art student studying in montreal who has fallen in love with her professor , jacques ( lapage ) . 
one day , he disappears , and , fearing that he left because she was undeserving of his love , madeleine travels to venice to kill herself . 
while preparing to commit suicide , she encounters drug addict constance ( celine bonnier ) , who causes madeleine to re-think her decision . 
meanwhile , jacques has moved to new york city , where he starts cross-dressing , calls himself jennifer , and becomes a successful counter-culture talkshow host . 
with settings that shift from paris to venice to montreal to manhattan to scotland , supporting characters that include a topless goddess and a deaf/mute , and cultural references that point to chopin , george sand , and jim morrison , tectonic plates is unique , if nothing else . 
however , as interesting as the film sounds ( and i was excited to see it because the synopsis is promising ) , it never really delivers . 
the tone is soporific , the supposedly-intellectual prattle is inane and uninteresting , the plot meanders in a pointless and irritating manner ( although it doesn't take long for the viewer to determine that the story is largely unimportant ) , and the symbolism is obvious . 
tectonic plates is trying to show that human interaction is as volatile as unpredictable as the shifting of the earth , but it takes one-hundred minutes to get across this transparent point . 
there are some worthwhile moments , such as a silly sword fight between jacques and the topless goddess and an entertaining discussion in both french and english about the differences between the two languages ( although the fine points will certainly be lost on those who aren't bilingual ) . 
the only people likely to enjoy tectonic plates are those who feel a strong need to praise something this rootless and boring because ( a ) it's different , ( b ) it's not like anything they've seen before , and ( c ) it's pretentious . 
for everyone else , it's not only a waste of time , but a poor introduction to the work of robert lapage . 
"
"-1","various films seen at the seattle film festival : 
it's all true/three men on a raft ( u . s . a . , 1942/1986 ) director : orson welles 
a recently uncovered one-fourth of orson welle's planned "" docu-drama "" of amazing stories around the world named it's all true , this short dealt with welle's attempts to document the actions of several brazilian fisherman in 1942 who had become folk heroes for their fantastic voyage to rio on a raft . 
while several clips of the film are seen , the short tends to spend more time trying to recount welle's attempts to film it , despite studio problems , a staggering workload , and extremely ill fortune on the set . 
impressive photography , but really only interesting to film historians . 
sadie thompson ( u . s . a . , 1928 ) director : raoul walsh screenwriter : raoul walsh , from the john colton play "" rain "" , based on w . somerset maugham's story "" miss thompson "" cast : gloria swanson , raoul walsh , lionel barrymore silent 
after the discussion of the newly-restored version of frank capra's lost horizon , where several scenes had been restored using stills , i was interested to see sadie thompson , where the last 5 minutes of the film had been destroyed many years ago . 
this is the silent version of the somerset maugham short story "" miss thompson "" . 
this is one of the most skillful silent films i have ever seen--little awkwardness , and a very clever script . 
the actors : gloria swanson , raoul walsh ( who also directed and wrote the screenplay ) and especially lionel barrymore , as the hypocritical reformer who supposedly wants to save sadie's soul , but really wants to get her between the sheets , is the absolute epitome of sanctimonious scoundrel . 
swanson adds real life to the character , adding an worldly , affectionate air to the bawdy sadie . 
unfortunately , the ending is rather poorly tied up ; it is difficult to know whether this is due to the lack of live-action film , or the original script . 
the happy ending seems particularly poorly tied on ( i cannot believe maugham's short story ended with sadie and our hero moving to australia ) ; the stills are expected to fill in a conclusion we've been waiting an hour and a half for . 
still , it's entertaining right up to the end ; certainly barrymore's incredibly hammy performance ( which , nonetheless , works , perhaps due to the silent screen ) is a must for anyone who is fed up with the actions of the falwells , bakkers , and robertses of the religious worlds . 
a c movie ; worth 2 . 50 if you can find it . 
the pied piper ( czechoslovakia , 1986 ) director : jim barta screenwriter : kamil piza 
this is an animated film from czechoslovakia that is definitely not for kids . 
it tells the old folk tale of the pied piper with a twist ending i find highly appropriate , and with a lot of political comment along with it . 
perhaps economic content is a better word--it certainly doesn't show capitalism in a good light . 
nor human nature , nor anything else , for that matter . 
as you may have guessed , this is not a tgif film ; this is the kind of film you are glad is over . 
not that it wasn't interesting for technical reasons ; this is stop-animation that is very well done . 
all the puppets have been carefully carved out of walnuts--except for the animated stuffed rats . 
boy , sounds like a real comedy vehicle , doesn't it ? 
add onto that set design that makes the cabinet of doctor caligari absolutely cheerful in comparison , and you have something to give the wee ones ( and some of the mentally unstable larger folk ) to keep them up at night . 
some gore . 
don't bring children to this one . 
don't bring adults to this one , unless they're fascinated by puppetry and/or hate capitalism so badly they enjoy seeing wooden puppets raped . 
blech . 
 . no fun whatsoever . 
meier ( west germany , 1986 ) director/screenwriter : peter timm cast : rainier grenkowitz , nadja engelbrecht , alexander hauff , thomas besvater sub-titled 
this film takes us back and forth over the east german/west german border with meier , an east german wallpaperer whose father in the west dies and leaves him a good deal of money . 
his uncle ( also in the west ) sneaks meier out of the country , unknown to the east germans . 
meier , however , is less than thrilled-- his girlfriend , his friends and his job ( which he likes ) all exist in east germany . 
after a round-the-world trip ( his boss think's he's on leave in bulgaria ) , meier starts visiting east germany on day visas with a fake id , and uses his money and his connections to the west to buy his girlfriend presents and bring credit to his work crew's work--while everyone think's he's still living in east germany . 
of course , something goes wrong--and the ending is very funny , but it takes the film too long to get there . 
the humor is spread too thin , and much of the plot is too obvious ( as is the acting ) . 
still , a good concept for the comedy , and the last five minutes are pretty funny . 
c -- $2 . 50 . 
the right hand man ( australia , 1986 ) director : di drew screenplay : helen hodgman cast : rupert everett , hugo weaving , arthur dignam , jennifer claire , catherine mcclements 
after a lifetime of movie-going , and about four years of attending the seattle international film festival , i've learned several rules which , while not absolute , should certainly be given deference to : 
1 ) be wary of french comedies . 
these people like jerry lewis . 
2 ) ken russell is never going to grow up , no matter how long you wait . 
3 ) any film where siff associate director gary tucker refers to the lead as "" old pouty-lips "" is probably not worth watching . 
4 ) when an australian film only awards credit is best cinematography , watch out ! 
australia has good cinematographers up the whazoo , but since weir and miller left for foreign shores , finding a good script or director seems to be a difficult ( not impossible--witness malcolm last year ) task . 
well , i ignored rules 3 & 4 last night , and sat through a film that should be in the golden turkey awards . 
it's as if the director was trying to do one of those classic romance stories that were done in the 30's about tragedy among the gentry , and falling in love with people below your station , and horses . 
lots and lots of horses . 
the film opens with a stallion mounting a mare under the direction of her ladyship , which i guess is some kind of foreshadowing , because the missus of the house wants to have her son produce an heir . 
unfortunately , said son , a reckless idiot who faints at the very worst times , kills his father and loses an arm during a racing accident . 
highlights include the amputation sequence ; the doctor's daughter , who has the hots for the son , tasting his urine for a diagnosis ; their tender kissing with a window between them ( while it's raining--you'd think a woman studying medicine would know better ) . 
the photography is good , but i kept wishing for b&w--everything seems sepia-colored anyway . 
actually , i wished i was watching swimming to cambodia instead , but that's life . 
grade : z . avoid like the plague , unless you're looking for inadvertent yuks . 
"
"-1","capsule : the weakest and least engaging of the alien movies , dragged down by an uninvolving story and no real tension . 
alien 3 ( the "" 3 "" should be in superscript ) is a sad and wan entry in what was shaping up as one of the best sf sagas ever put on screen . 
it continues the story of ripley , the space-trucker-turned-impromptu-survivalist , but seems remarkably uninterested in her . 
in fact , the movie seems lucky to be interested in anything at all , it's so elegaic and limp . 
a little of this would have been nice for atmosphere , but the movie telegraphs its own tragedy from the beginning . 
at the end of the last film ( aliens ) , ripley and two survivors were on their way home . 
unfortunately , an alien pod had been deposited in their ship , and wound up triggering off their ejection in an escape pod . 
the pod crashes on firorina 161 , a prison planet designed to house the incurably criminally violent . 
ripley lives through the crash ; the others do not . 
the prison is a grim place , even as prisons go -- it's been built around the remnants of an abandoned steelworks , which provides no end of techno-gothic backdrops for the actors to be backlit against . 
lice are endemic , and so ripley's head is shaved ( another surreal touch ) . 
at first it looks like she just has to hold out as an unwelcome guest until a company rescue ship can arrive , but it doesn't stay that way . 
one of the other eggs on board the wrecked escape pod hatches , and soon a newly-gestated alien is running amuck . 
worse , it looks like ripley herself has been impregnated . 
what's weird is how little tension this generates , except near the end , when the pressure is being troweled on through every cheap cinematic form of cheating imaginable : loud music , shaky camerawork , etc . sigourney weaver has become comfortable with the role , and she does well with it , but this time the role has been underwritten and left slack . 
the supporting actors are also not given a lot to do : the doctor ( charles dance ) and another , rather religious inmate ( charles s . dutton , very good ) , hiave presence , but they're not asked to do anything with it . 
in light of the impending sequel , which apparently plays fast and loose with the ending of this movie , i will not talk about the ending -- except to say that they found a remarkably good ending for such a drab movie . 
it's strange that some of the desperate and improvisational thinking that they found to wind up this story couldn't have driven the rest of it . 
"
"-1"," "" from the director of "" the nightmare before christmas "" it said in the previews , which i'm guessing was said to get people to go see the movie , obviously it hasn't worked since the $75 million dollar movie has yet to break $5 million . 
to each it's own however , since "" monkey bone "" is not only a bad movie all together , but technically well-made . 
a tragic waste of talent and incredible visual effects . 
stu miley is the genius behind the new phenomena "" monkey bone "" a crude comic strip , that everyone wants to merchandise , they go to great links to get it as well , including dollars that let out fart powder . 
when stu and his girlfriend , julie ( bridget fonda ) are in a freak car accident ( you'll see ) stu goes into a coma , and while in his coma stu travels to i'm guessing dark town , where all the characters in dreams come to life . 
people are stuck in this town , with their nightmares roaming around them . 
when stu spots monkey bone ( whom he really can't stand ) he tries to keep him under control . 
making a new friend kitty ( rose mcgowan ) he learns that if he gets an exit pass from death , he can go back up and live his life . 
when monkey bone and stu steal a pass , monkey bone becomes a trader and takes it and goes into stu's body . 
now monkey bone must get everyone to buy these dolls with nightmare powder , so everyone has nightmares . . . or 
something like that . 
rather complex ( in fact more than it needs to be ) "" monkey bone "" had potential in the script and even the story . 
what is considerably noticeable is the gaping plot holes , and lack of character development . 
for instance we really don't get to know who stu or julie are , so why should we even care ? 
kitty played well by rose mcgowan ha a story behind her , but we are not given a chance to know her . 
the cast is decent however , brendan fraser seems to be enjoying himself in the role as stu miley , but becomes awfully annoying when monkey bone takes over his body . 
bridget fonda is dreary and seems to bring the film to a screeching halt , her performance is bad and she seems miscast . 
dave foley isn't given enough to do , as well as "" will & grace's "" megan mullally who can be funny . 
the standout performance is the voice of nick turturro as monkey bone himself , he is very funny and entertaining and really keeps the film from being a total bust . 
the special effects of "" monkey bone "" is what might really bring in some curious viewers , these special effects are highly effective , and nice to look at with the eyes . 
some of them are believable and some unbelievable . . . for 
monkey bone he seems to be like stuart little , you really don't realize that he is animated . . . but 
on occasion it sneaks up on you . 
the direction by henry selick is good , but at times he doesn't know what kind of film he wants to make , and the ending climax falls off the cliff . 
it's too bad really , "" monkey bone "" could have been a real good movie , but with it's heavily done hack job , and lack of character development it just sinks when the end credits role . 
for those curious however , it might be worth the rental , but other than that avoid this one . 
"
"-1","numerous comparisons can be made with this movie to past sci-fi , suspense thrillers . 
soldier is a multi ? crossbreed between the likes of terminator , aliens and offspring . 
the problem with such mixed genes is that the final product is a real mongrel ? not well made and should have been put down before production got off the ground . 
besides this , the action is mediocre when compared to the standard action flicks of this day and age . 
the fight scenes between jason scott lee and kurt russell seem laboured , slow and sluggish , and could have done with better choreography . 
russell who is usually a good actor in b-grade action flicks is unusually hampered by his character ? sergeant todd , who seems more like a sergeant toad . 
besides having almost no dialogue , his character appears stunted , zombie-like which is in line with his screen persona , but scores little points of empathy with the audience . 
this movie has not made me change my opinion about director paul anderson , whose last epic event horizon has left an unusually bitter taste in my mouth . 
although this movie does not come anywhere close to the strangeness of former , it is still a long way from anything considered desirable . 
"
"-1","a documentary from the twin hughes brothers , allen and albert ( dead presidents , menace ii society ) , about street pimps , all of whom are african-american . 
an offscreen interviewer questions them about their lives and profession . 
it is mostly the pimps who do the talking for their ho's , and the egotistical and flamboyant way you would expect them to be , is what you get . 
i learned that the word "" bitch "" is their favorite word , as it seemed to crop up in every sentence they used . 
it makes for a film with no surprises or nothing fresh to say , but if one has a sense a humor for what their lifestyle is about , then some of what they rap about might seem amusing . 
they seem to all want to be thought of as businessmen , in the business because it is the easiest way for them to make big money . 
it's also a power trip , accomplished by manipulating the girls to work for them , mostly by humiliating them and keeping them in place . 
this sleazy pic , soon became grating and wore out its welcome to my unreceptive ears . 
these verbose pimps had a smart answer for everything and never knew when to shut their face . 
the hughes brothers used as their pimp role models , the feather-hatted , fur-coated , diamond ring-wearing , gold chain wearing , flashy cadillac-cruising pimp of the late '70s blaxploitation movies--like the mack and willie dynamite . 
also used as reference , was iceberg slim's best-seller pimp , the story of my life . 
we meet pimps such as : fillmore slim , c-note , charm , k-red , gorgeous dre , bishop don magic juan , and rosebudd . 
they readily discuss their business arrangements : including percentages , lifestyles , knockin ( stealing another pimp's ho ) , and the thrill they get from women giving them money . 
these dudes needed no prompting to talk , as they just love to brag about about themselves . 
 "" priests need nuns , '' yaps c-note , a san francisco pimp . 
 "" doctors need nurses . 
so ho's need pimps . '' 
as he tries to persuasively make the same case all the other pimps in the film make ; that the girls need them to show them the ropes , how to make money , to be their security blankets , protectors , and counselors . 
the race issue was brought up right from the film's onset , as a number of white interviewees , regular citizens , note that their impression of a pimp , is that he's the lowest form of human . 
while , we are told , in the black community , the pimp is looked upon as a successful entrepenaur , riding around in fancy cars , flashing wads of money , dressed in a flamboyant style , where his snake-gaiter shoes might cost him a grand , and where he boasts hollywood style status in the community . 
we also see that the black pimps have a number of white girls in their stable and we see how they treat them like dirt , as the film implies that this could be payback for the days of slavery , of master and slave relations . 
the film was all about pimp style and their projected image , as they run a hard-sell riff about the virtues of their work . 
there are different styles of pimping , but the film mentions them only as being "" macks "" and "" players "" or "" real pimps "" and "" perpetrator pimps , "" but no further clarity is attempted . 
it is also failed to get the women's side to this story of abuse , primarily taking the pimp at his word . 
the film could never get to the core of what makes the pimp think in such a perverted way as he does , as the filmmakers were taking for a ride by the pimps , who were looking only to pose in front of the camera and say their thing , hungry for their 15-minutes of fame . 
the only laughs i got out of this bleak look at an american subculture , was hearing how a few pimps retired and what they are now up to . 
danny brown became a blues singer so he could keep his pimp's wardrobe . 
while a hollywood pimp called rosebudd , married his ho and turned square , working to support his wife and daughter as a telemarketer . 
"
"-1","gord brody ( tom green ) is an aspiring animator approaching thirty who still lives in parents jim ( rip torn ) and julie's ( julie hagerty , "" airplane "" ) basement . 
as dad declares all out war , gord secures a job in a cheese sandwich factory in far off la and sets off to make his dreams come true . 
gord doesn't make much of a go on his first attempt and lands back home with fawning mom and outraged dad in "" freddy got fingered . "" 
tom green cowrites ( with "" tom green show "" scribe derek harvie ) , directs and stars in what is essentially tom green's primal scream . 
so , if tom green screams in an empty theater , does he make a sound ? 
it's clear that "" freddy got fingered "" is at least partially autobiographical and green sure has one hell of a complex about his dad ( mom gets off easier when sonny boy advises her to go out and have sex with basketball players and greeks ) . 
while this may be of interest to his hard core fans , there's little about green's mania on display here to recommend this movie to anyone else . 
the film starts promisingly enough , with a well executed skateboarding scene through a shopping mall set to the sex pistols' 'problem' ( green's put together a first rate soundtrack ) and yes , i laughed a few times . 
green's flummoxing of a security guard with psychotic ramblings and his attempt to draw , make music and eat at the same time ( the 'daddy would you like some sausages' scene repeatedly shown in the film's trailer ) are inspired comedy . 
but what's funny about a paraplegic girlfriend who gets turned on by having her legs caned or a skateboarding injury that results in an exposed kneecap ? 
a baby delivery bit shows some groan-inducing promise until enough blood is splattered to coagulate the laughs . 
younger ( by three years ) brother freddy's internment at the institute for sexually abused children does nothing but confirm one's worst fears regarding the film's title and green's infamous 'handling' of a real horse , while not nearly as shocking as it would seem , doesn't make sense . 
by the time he repeats the gag with an elephant at film's end , the overall effect is numbness . 
while "" freddy got fingered "" has the admirable end result of depicting the harm in demeaning a child's self esteem , it's essentially a whole lot of tom green running around being noisy . 
rip torn , what were you thinking ? 
"
"-1","much ado about nothing . 
ah , how sweet the irony ! 
it's accepted wisdom in some circles - among english literature nuts , mainly - that whenever a critic knocks shakespeare they are only doing so through ignorance . 
he just doesn't "" understand "" shakespeare , you will hear them say . 
the bard's work is apparently beyond criticism . 
what a load of old cobblers . 
if these arbiters of public taste think kenneth branaugh's film of shakespeare's "" comedy "" much ado about nothing is comedy in any modern sense of the word , it's time to get a life . 
get monty python . 
get woody allen . 
get john waters . 
whatever . 
just get a real taste of some clever , witty , risky comedy . 
and banish this nonsense to where it belongs . 
drama and tragedy was shakespeare's strength . 
to my sensibilities - and i'm no stick in the mud - much ado about nothing resonates with no spark whatsoever . 
no kidding : this film ranks among the most embarrassing two hours i have ever spent in a cinema in my 20 years of movie going . 
the only thing that stopped me walking out was loyalty to my lady friend , as this was our day out and i hadn't seen her in ages . 
but boy , does she owe me one ! 
i won't spend too much time on the plot . 
basically , we follow the trials and tribulations of two would-be couples - one young , the other older . 
there's some dark treachery amongst all this , but everyone is so awfully jolly that you'd hardly know it . 
mind you , there's nothing wrong with the basic story . 
good romantic comedies based on similar premises abound . 
nothing wrong with most of the cast , either . 
branaugh , emma thompson and denzel washington are all talented performers . 
the problem is the script , or more accurately , shakespeare's original text . 
light comedy shouldn't be complex . 
yet wrapped in elizabethan english , the dialogue becomes difficult to comprehend . 
for this alone it will be a problem for modern audiences unschooled in shakespeare and in search of nothing more than a good , undemanding laugh . 
the only laughs to escape my belly were brought on by the gloriously inept performance of keanu reeves , the actor once again miscast as a jealous half-brother or something . 
but when dissected and understood , what it all boils down to is that this stuff is just so goddamn lame . 
this is comedy so clean and nice and corny and so devoid of danger that it leaves this viewer totally cold . 
ho , ho , ho , boy likes girl ! 
ho , ho , ho , men are such klutzes ! 
ho , ho , ho , she's so awfully clumsy ! 
oh please ! 
there's wit in here somewhere , i'm told . 
i call it pretentious . 
something lightweight striving to be something sophisticated through clever wordplay . 
in the end , it's cringeworthy . 
watching some of the cinema patrons around me collapse with laughter made much ado about nothing a very weird movie going experience . 
comedy ? 
bah , humbug ! 
"
"-1","another formula 'feel good' quirky comedy from the british isles , much like "" waking ned devine , "" and a host of other popular low budget movies that turned a nifty profit off a thin story line . 
it is filled with likable establishment types living in a quaint town , such as tolerant vicars and policemen , plenty of eccentrics , and of locals who stick together through thick and thin . 
the strength of this film lies in its rational theme , that smoking pot should be legalized since it is even less dangerous than drinking alcohol . 
the film is tolerable until after its first hour , it then falls completely apart , becoming just too absurd to consider as anything but sitcom fluff gone completely bananas . 
but its long overdue message of decriminalization for certain drugs is on target and allows the film to , at least , be viewed as containing a pertinent message . 
its message is especially appropriate nowadays considering the 'war on drugs' is about to be escalated into colombia . 
the drug war has been a total failure so far and with no hope of it being won by law enforcement methods in the future , it has so far just ended up causing america's jails to be overcrowded with non-violent drug prisoners and offers zero hope of curtailing america's drug usage and drug supply . 
billions of dollars have just been allocated by congress to get officially involved in the colombian civil war , by backing a corrupt government ( remember vietnam ! ) with the idea that military might could stop the cocaine and marijuana harvests in that country . 
everything about this proposed action smacks of vietnam , with this scenario closer to home , so what probably awaits such an effort is a more futile result than the other war . 
the film's mild theme of showing squares getting into the weed business and finding it acceptable by the public , something that should have been accepted some 40 years ago , is a theme long overdue for public acceptance , but one that is better received late than never . 
there has to be some common sense in distinguishing what drugs should be legalized and how to educate the public on this , rather than making it a police matter altogether . 
the film opens in a quaint cornish seaside village at the funeral of the husband of a middle-aged woman , grace ( brenda blethyn ) , who fell out of an airplane , evidently committing suicide . 
the widow soon finds out her husband was a bigger bastard than she imagined . 
he left her with a stack of enormous bills and put up , without her knowledge , their comfortable 300 year old house as collateral for a failed business venture by taking out a second mortgage . 
the widow finds herself bankrupt and with no marketable skills to pay back her husband's enormous debts and prevent her from losing the house and becoming homeless . 
she also knows that he was having an affair with a sophisticated woman from london , honey ( quick ) . 
what makes the affair doubly unsatisfying , is that when conferring with honey , she finds out that he was a tiger with her in bed but refrained from having sex with her . 
even though the locals try to help the bankrupt widow out as best they can , the creditors swoop down on her like vultures . 
her gardener and handyman , matthew ( ferguson ) , decides to stay on with her , despite his last check bouncing . 
since she is an expert amateur horticulturist , he convinces her to help him revive his hemp plants , which he grows for private use . 
the two soon see this as a possibly big business opportunity , as grace works miracles with the plants which turn out to be high-quality stuff . 
for grace , this is a way to save her house and get her out of debt ; for the scotsman , matthew , it offers a chance for him to continue to live in this beautiful village and earn enough money to marry his fisherman girlfriend nicky ( valerie ) . 
the locals all let the illegal activities go on undisturbed : the police sergeant ( campbell ) pretends not to notice what the bright lights in grace's greenhouse is for , the friendly vicar ( phillips ) counsels about the wisdom of not taking action over something that you can't control , and the doctor ( clunes ) enjoys smoking the weed for recreation . 
the story becomes incredulous when grace decides to go to london and score with a big-time drug dealer instead of having matthew go , because she finds out nicky is pregnant and doesn't want matthew to end up in jail . 
it is interesting to note , that no one thinks smoking grass is bad for you , only that one can go to jail . 
the scene with grace on portobello road in the notting hill section of london , trying to find a drug dealer , while dressed out of place , in a white dress and hat one would wear to a tea party in cornwall but not on the streets of notting hill while looking to make a drug deal , was completely hokey and the film descended into a huge black hole , whereby it never recovered its dignity . 
the film moves into the formula mode , whereas grace beats the odds against her failing to survive , as she meets an international drug dealer , a frenchman ( tcheky karyo ) , who is first seen threatening to cut off her fingers but later becomes her business partner and husband as she becomes a millionaire and writes a best selling fiction book about her experiences , thereby becoming a celebrity . 
things work out in a ridiculous way , where there is a total breakdown in the character development of grace , where this matronly figure suddenly becomes merely a cartoon figure instead of live flesh and blood . 
there are a lot of silly giggles that come forth and the film has just enough of an acting performance by brenda blethyn to breathe air into it before it comes to its belated finale , as it drones on with its transparently gratuitous upbeat tone , until it makes the audience feel good that the sweet old lady succeeded . 
this 'unhip' film leaves one with the impression that smoking and growing pot is silly , but should be tolerated as something naughty middle-aged widows screwed by their terrible former husbands must do in order not to remain destitute . 
ummm ! 
"
"-1"," "" love to kill "" starts off aimlessly and gets progressively less coherent as time passes . 
at the outset , the movie appears to be about tony danza , who's an illegal distributor of guns , trying to establish a relationship with an unsuspecting woman . 
danza sets up a double date with her , her sister , and a collegue of his . 
everything seems to be going well , until the sister accidentally dies by falling down a set of stairs . 
much confusion and mahem ensues , as the death is covered up and other associates of danza's begin to emerge , all after one thing or another . 
sound confusing ? 
it is . 
i think what the filmmakers were trying to do is take the standard crime movie and throw in a little humour and levity . 
in some respects , it works . 
but the majority of the film is a convoluted and confusing mess . 
characters keep popping up with no explanation , demanding money for deals that occur off-screen . 
the only aspect of the movie that actually works is the budding relationship between danza and the dead woman's sister . 
but so little time is devoted to this part of the story , we never really become too familiar with these characters , and because of this , we don't really care what happens to them . 
well , i didn't , at least . 
one thing i will give the movie is that it's a complete departure for tony danza . 
here's a guy , because of his many sitcom roles , who's ingrained in the consciousness as a nice guy who always does the right thing . 
here , he plays a man who's just looking out for himself , and if that means he needs to kill in order to save his own skin , so be it . 
i was very impressed by his performance , and within minutes of the start of the film , i had forgotten all about his good-guy persona . 
michael madsen is also good as an associate of danza's who spends half the movie buddying up to him and the other half trying to kill him . 
like i said , it's not exactly a linear storyline . 
 "" love to kill "" should be praised for trying to do something different with the well worn crime genre , but it's just too bad that the story doesn't really add up to much . 
the stars deserved better , and so did the audience . 
"
"-1","whether you like the beatles or not , nobody wants to see the bee gee's take on some of the fab four's best known songs . 
well , maybe that's not true . 
 . 
 . 
maybe you're curious , the way you have to look in your hanky after you blow your nose . 
you just have to know how bad bad can be . 
if that's the case , rejoice , because it was twenty years ago today ( or so ) that sgt . 
pepper's lonely hearts club band was released ( unleashed ? ) to the world , and thanks to our modern technological advances , you can find this retched piece of filmmaking on vhs . 
derived from the lyrics of various beatles' songs , sgt . 
pepper's tells the story of the fictitious band made popular from the song ( and album ) of the same name , released in 1967 . 
of course , the movie was made eleven years later , the gibbs three have become the lonely hearts , peter frampton is the one and only billy shears , and aside from being about a rock band , the story doesn't correlate to the song at all . 
and oh , what joy - we're the lovely audience they'd like to take home with them . 
i don't think so . 
but at least these characters are actually * people * in a beatles' song , whereas other characters such as strawberry fields ( sandy farina ) gets her name from a song about a * place * called strawberry fields . 
the debate over this is really quite futile when it comes down to it , because all the film really has to offer is a feast of horrid cover tunes , embarrassing cameo appearances ( george burns ? ! 
steve martin ? ! ? 
alice cooper ? ! ? ! ) , and uuuuuuggggggglllllllyyyyy 70's fashion and faces . 
check please ! 
the plot is a bit unclear . 
people with bad 70's hair run around in leisure suits engaging in music video sequences that look like a sick and twisted world of make-believe from an overly demented mr . rogers . 
mean mr . mustard ( frankie howerd ) somehow gets hold of all billy & co . 's instruments , calling dr . maxwell edison ( steve martin with a silver hammer and an out-of-key singing voice ) , the sun king , marvin sunk ( alice cooper ! ) , and a couple of creepy robots to his aid . 
supposedly this is a horrible thing ? 
i guess in heartland , the talent is pretty non-existent . 
meanwhile , the lonely hearts are off doing the classic "" sex , drugs , and rock n' roll "" thing , leaving poor strawberry fields without her true love , billy . 
she sets out to find him , leaving her poor dad and mom ( mrs . 
fields ! 
hey , wanna cookie ? ) 
all alone to sing a horrible rendition of "" she's leaving home "" , accompanied by those same creepy robots . 
but is billy getting it on with lucy ( dianne steinberg ) ? 
ya know , the diamond possessing girl who hangs out in the sky ? 
well , there's some crazy chick singing soprano on the roof of a building next to a bus stop , and i assume that's who it was . 
it's movies like this that make ya sit back and ask the unanswerable question , "" what the hell were they thinking ? ? ? "" 
nobody will ever know , but as a novelty , sgt . 
pepper's is one to examine . 
carol channing , robert palmer , keith carradine - they're all here . 
but why ? ? ? ? 
who knows . 
it's irrelevant . 
there's as much meaning to be found here as there is to be found in your belly-button lint , although the latter may be more interesting . 
with the recent onslaught of 70's nostalgia in the movie world ( the ice storm , boogie nights , reissues of the star wars trilogy , etc . ) , let's pray this doesn't get a special 20th anniversary , second-chance in theaters . 
in the words of paul mccartney , live and let die . 
in fact , bury this one while you still can . 
"
"-1","warning : spoilers are included in this review . . . 
but it doesn't really make much of a difference . 
deep impact begins the official summer movie season , and it also brings back memories of 1997 . 
remember when dante's peak came out in february ? 
a few months later , volcano was released . 
the first film was smart , exhilirating , and one of the best disaster films i had ever seen . 
the latter film was an incohesive mess that defied logic and wasted talent . 
well , it's deja vu all over again as two disaster films go head to head in competition . 
this time , unfortunately , the first comet flick is so bad that people may shy away from armageddon , the upcoming comet-disaster to be released the beginning of july . 
of course , the general reaction of the audience was oppposed to mine , and so i am in the minority , as i was when i stood on the side of dante's peak . 
but while watching deep impact , i began to wonder how anyone in their right mind could actually like this film . 
apparently many did , and it utterly baffles me . 
to be completely honest , i haven't had this little fun watching a disaster film in my entire life . 
volcano had implausibilities up the wazoo , but it was still rather fun to watch . 
deep impact doesn't just have implausibilities , it also contains cheap human drama , incredibly horrible special effects , and a poorly constructed plot . 
the only thing that gives it a half star above my bottom ranking is a slightly entertaining final fifteen minutes and some good actors making the most of their characters . 
deep impact begins in an unnamed year ( the year varies ; advanced technology sets it in the future , but fire in the sky is showing on a local movie theater , pushing it back to 1993 ) . 
a line of students is outside at night , peering through telescopes at the dark sky above . 
among these are leo biederman ( elijah wood ) and sarah hotchner ( leelee sobieski ) . 
leo unknowingly discovers a comet , and his teacher sends a photo of the unknown object to an astronomer , who then is able to determine the correct path of this distant comet in about a few seconds . 
he races off to mail the information , but is killed in a reckless car accident . 
a year passes , and nothing is heard about it again . 
we are then introduced to jenny lerner ( t ? a leoni ) , a reporter for msnbc . 
she gets handed a job to investigate a possible cover-up in the government involving senator alan rittenhouse ( james cromwell ) . 
she talks to a woman who mentions that rittenhouse was having an affair with a girl named ellie . 
after talking with rittenhouse , and unsatisfied with the information she gets , she decides to use the internet for help . 
luckily , she knows exactly how to spell the certain "" ellie "" that she is looking for ( they spell it ele in the film . . . 
that girl is pretty darn smart for guessing how it was spelled ) . 
before she can use the information , the government decides to push her car off the road . 
they take her in to meet the president of the united states , president beck ( morgan freeman ) . 
beck recommends that jenny keep the information secret for 48 hours so they can confirm it and then hold a press conference . 
naturally , she wants to be compensated , and they offer her a front row seat and the chance for the first question . 
and so , yada yada yada , they reveal the comet to the public and their plans : send a massive spacecraft out to destroy it before it can arrive . 
they announce a plan called "" ark , "" which is their only hope for survival . 
a computer will select 800 , 000 people at random . 
these people are the ones who will go into a large cave underground so that the impact of the comet won't kill off the entire human race . 
after two years , the dust will settle ( actually , it would take much , much longer--approximately ninety years , from what i understand ) and the humans could come back to the surface and start over . 
the rest of the plot is your standard disaster film procedures , but there is one subplot worth mentioning . 
jenny and her father , jason ( maximilian schell ) , have a very touching relationship that forms out of the impending doom . 
the final moment involving the two characters is heartfelt and emotional . 
it's a shame that nothing else is heartfelt . 
now , of course , we all know that the comet does impact the surface . 
the title alone suggests it , and the previews actually show it ! 
by doing this , absoltuely no tension can be drawn from any attempt to stop the comet because we all know that it won't work . 
director mimi leder came from her successful tries at direction with episodes of the hit television show "" er . "" 
her major film debut was the peacemaker , a pathetic and heartless action film . 
well , this time leder outdid herself , creating a film worse than that one . 
suggestion to ms . leder : please , stay away from the big screen , or at least the action genre . 
much of the blame can be placed on leder directly , because the pace is disastrously off . 
throughout the film we are given subtitles that tell us how much time has passed ( it goes from months to weeks to hours ) . 
it literally feels like this lapsed time is taking place in real-time--it's that boring . 
of course , leder isn't all to blame for it . 
screenwriters michael tolkin and bruce joel rubin have crafted a simplistic story that only gets worse with time . 
what starts out promising soon turns deadly ( for the audience anyway ) . 
chock full of cheesy one liners ( "" you know , you are going to have more sex than anyone else in school ! "" ) 
and stupid characters , you might think we were back in the 70s again . 
only one of the subplots is remotely interesting , while the rest are forgettable and boring . 
and the main plot is so outrageous that you can't figure out if this film is supposed to be an action , drama , or sci-fi . 
to put it simply : the special effects of this film are a hit and miss situation . 
that's right , 80% miss , and 20% hit . 
scenes above the earth are well done , and the orbiting ship is majestic . 
but the comet is a huge mistake , making it more laughable than frightening . 
the concept of even trying to land on a comet is preposterous enough , but that's forgiveable . 
what isn't forgiveable is actually having humans walk on the surface . 
give me a break , will ya ? 
and of course , the much hyped collision of comet and earth . 
well , it is far from spectacular , and it makes independence day look brilliant . 
the water rushing towards the land is effective , but once it hits the continent , the effects turn ridiculous . 
cgi water is used , and it looks so bad that i heard more laughs from the audience than shrieks . 
in fact , i may even recommend the film for those who want to see how bad effects can actually get these days . 
just when we think visual effects can't be improved , along comes a film to show that they really can and should be . 
one thing has struck a wrong note with me concerning mimi leder's direction , which also influences the actors . 
leder loves to show the actors' faces before and during moments of terror . 
this reminded me of another action director , renny harlin ( die hard 2 , cliffhanger ) . 
but harlin succeeds because he shows the faces of the victims in realistic situations . 
leder likes to flaunt people's fears via their faces , but instead of coming off as sympathetic , leder seems more of a sadist . 
one moment has an astronaut flying off into space . 
this should be enough to warrant a response from the audience , but leder wants to go farther and shows us the person's face while drifting into space . 
this is one of the cheapest ways to ellicit an emotional response from an audience , and i , for one , am not going to be fooled . 
on another note , leder's film only picks up its pace during the last fifteen minutes when the comet actually impacts . 
the pace does pick up , and some very emotional moments are shown . 
then again , when you watch people cry for their loved ones , it's obvious it will be emotional . 
it's mostly just a big trick to rope viewers into "" feeling "" for the characters , but it didn't work for me . 
but anyway , the actors do as much as they can with what they are given . 
t ? a leoni ( bad boys , tv's "" the naked truth "" ) is the best of the film , and she is given the meatiest role . 
her character is made stronger by leoni's presence , and we grow to care for her . 
robert duvall is energetic and fun to watch , but his character is turned into shreds by the plot . 
elijah wood also comes off rather successfully , but he still hasn't had many good roles ( wood , stick to drama ! 
you are too talented for this stuff ) . 
vanessa redgrave is barely acknowledgeable , and her performance is only enhanced by her strong presence on screen . 
maximilian schell is distracting , but he does provide some nice humor . 
morgan freeman has been infinitely better than this , and gives one of his most shallow performances to date ( which is quite remarkable for him ) . 
leelee sobieski could have been better , but i think she just suffered from a poorly written character . 
a special note should go to ron eldard and denise crosby . 
eldard is good in his role , but is limited by the plot . 
crosby is special to me personally because she was tasha yar from tv's "" star trek : the next generation . "" 
seeing her was one of the highlights of the film . 
overall , a very talented cast virtually wasted . 
deep impact is rated pg-13 for disaster related elements and brief language . 
this is one of the worst films of the year , and if it is any omen of things to come , this summer could be one of the worst ever . 
luckily , the x-files movie is coming up , and hopefully armageddon will be more successful . 
it's a shame that this film will do so successfully because it just isn't worth much . 
costing nearly $75 million , with special effects done by the illustrious ilm ( which is a huge shocker ) , and with a score composed by oscar-winner james horner ( titanic ) , one might have expected this to be more fun to witness and experience . 
well , it's not . 
when the comet does hit the earth , you almost wish it could just take this film along with it . 
"
"-1","my first press screening of 1998 and already i've gotten a prime candidate for my worst ten of the year list . 
what an auspicious beginning ! 
welcome to the dog days of winter when the only film openings of merit are those oscar contenders that the studios opened in late december in new york and l . a . and which are just now beginning to appear elsewhere . 
firestorm , the directorial debut of dances with wolves's academy award winning cinematographer dean semler , is the first of the new year's crop of movies . 
as our story opens , the movie pretentiously informs us that of the tens of thousands of firefighters only 400 are "" smokejumpers . "" 
we then cut to a plane load of smoke jumping cowboys and one cowgirl , where one of the gung-ho guys is taking a romance quiz from "" cosmopolitan . "" 
having the time of their lives , they then jump into the middle of a burning forest . 
when , even in the beginning , the director can't get the small parts right , you can sense the movie is in trouble . 
with the noisy fire roaring all about them and with the trapped people huddled near their gasoline-filled cars , smokejumper monica ( christianne hirt ) tells them to get away from their soon-to-explode vehicles . 
not bothering to shout nor even get close to them , she announces her warning without raising her voice much or approaching the people . 
miraculously , they manage to hear her and move away . 
in a movie that specializes in cheap shots , the camera locates the proverbial young girl trapped in a nearby burning building . 
as it does throughout , overly dramatic cinematographer stephen f . windon from the postman uses extremely fast zooms right down to the endangered girl's face . 
our show's two heroes , the crew's chief , wynt perkins , played laconically by scott glenn , and his second-in-command , jesse graves , played by howie long in a weak attempt to be the next steven seagal , enter the burning house looking for the little girl . 
in a panic they have difficulty in locating her before they are engulfed in flames . 
the manipulative script has her hidden in her own dollhouse . 
this mawkish show cuts back to monica , who has a life-or-death decision to make . 
the chopper with the fire-retardant chemicals has only enough to save one group . 
will it be the large group near the cars or the helpless little girl and monica's two firefighting buddies ? 
she has only seconds to decide who will be saved . 
yes , she goes for the majority , but , miracle of miracles , the other three come out alive anyway . 
not content with a traditional firefighting story , chris soth's screenplay attempts to jazz it up by having william forsythe from palookaville play a vicious killer named randy earl shaye who sets a forest fire so that he can join the crew to put it out and then escape . 
 ( "" hoods in the woods , "" is what the "" ground-pounders "" yell out when the convicts are bused in to help them fight the fire . ) 
along the way , shaye picks up an ornithologist hostage played by suzy amis , who turns out to have been trained in warrior ways by her father , who was a marine drill instructor . 
most of the highly predictable movie is a long chase in which poor howie long is given one ridiculous stunt after another to look silly performing . 
he flings a chain saw backwards over his head while riding a speeding motorcycle so that the saw can hit the windshield of the pursuing truck . 
arguably the low point is when he escapes from a locked burning building by riding a motorcycle conveniently parked inside . 
using a ramp , he shoots straight out of the top of the building's attic , and when he hits the ground , he just rides off in a cloud of dust . 
when the film isn't using some stock footage of actual forest fires , the simulated ones look hokey . 
editor jack hofstra cheapens the action even more by his use of burning flames in scene transitions . 
the ending , with its sick twists , manages to be even worse than the rest of the movie . 
perhaps the best that can be said for the picture is the faint praise i heard afterwards in the lobby , "" it's not as bad as some of the television sitcoms . "" 
firestorm runs mercifully just 1 : 29 . 
it is rated r for violence and language and would be acceptable for teenagers . 
"
"-1","ever since wargames , the first real computer hacking movie , hollywood has attempted to produce more and more films about hacking . 
these films usually show the audience a look into computers that really is not impossible and is usually ridiculous . 
if it's not this , the exaggeration about what is real is usually greater than you would expect . 
hackers is guilty of all of these crimes . 
to anyone familiar with computers and/or the internet , most of the movie is so incredibly stupid that you can't take it anymore . 
those of you who frequent one of the greatest sites on the world wide web , the internet movie database , are probably aware of the section for movies entitled "" goofs "" . 
this is the section for mistakes in the movies . 
well , imdb sums up hackers extremely well with the first goof listed : "" generally ill-informed and ridiculous to the extreme regarding the capabilities of computers and technology "" . 
and truthfully , this is one-hundred percent correct . 
the plot , obviously , centers around computer hacking . 
more specifically , it follows the exploits of dade murphy , a young computer hacker played by jonny lee miller . 
miller should be extremely thankful for the film trainspotting , because if it were not for that , who knows where his career would be now after hackers . 
the film opens with a young dade murphy being arrested for hacking computer systems . 
he was forbidden to use a computer until he turned eighteen years old . 
the film then picks up at that point , an eighteen year old dade murphy hacking away at the computer . 
dade later meets up with fellow hackers acid burn ( angelina jolie ) , cereal killer ( matthew lillard ) , lord nikon ( laurence mason ) , and the phantom phreak ( renoly santiago ) , who are basically trying to do what is next to impossible : hack the gibson computer and not get caught by the fbi . 
oh , and as a little sub-plot , dade also tries to woo acid burn , the only female hacker in the film . 
really , i can't think of much more to say about the film's plot aside from what i've said . 
it's just a bunch of computer geeks ( no , obsessive compulsive computer geeks a little too advanced for reality ) running around hacking computers and staying away from the fbi . 
thanks to this movie , the public unfamiliar with computers now has a distorted viewpoint of computers and what they can do . 
this movie makes computers look a little bit too advanced for their time , and the frivolous suggestions it makes are too many to list . 
to sum it up , hackers is a terrible computer film . 
if you're looking for a film about computers closer to what goes on in the real world , i suggest sneakers . 
although at times it too may seem a little far fetched , it should be much more believable than hackers to regular computer users . 
hopefully , this film didn't influence too many young computer users out to think they can do what is portrayed in this 105 minute waste of time . 
"
"-1","if there's one thing i just can't stand , it's a film that oozes with sentimentality . 
here's a note to all film makers : films are more effective when the emotions of the characters speak for themselves . 
swelling , saddening music is not a good way to tell us that the people in the film are unhappy , and that the situation is hopeless . 
alas , my giant is a film that uses manipulative sentimentality so frequently and with such high intensity that i forgot as i watched it that there are other ways of getting audience members choked up . 
what reminded me was that i wasn't choked up , or even the slightest bit moved , for that matter . 
my giant is a forced , contrived , and conspicuously un-cute ( i detest the word "" cute "" but i've chosen to use it because the makers clearly wanted to create a "" cute "" film here ) . 
it takes a premise that might have been interesting ( i liked the preview ) , and bogs it down with endless plot turns and cliches , all of which are intended to get some kind of easy emotional rise from the audience . 
maybe it will work for some people . 
it didn't work for me . 
billy crystal plays sam cayman , an agent who , at the beginning of the film , is in romania . 
he's in romania because the kid actor he made famous is doing a film . 
the screenplay has him in romania so he can get fired , get in a car accident , and get saved by an enormous individual who stands almost eight feet tall . 
his name is max ( gheorghe muresan ) , and sam thinks he'd be a great movie star because of his size . 
subplots are as follows : sam has a son and a wife ( kathleen quinlan ) , and he's never around for them , so they move to chicago . 
max is in love with a woman named lilianna who moved away from romania twenty years before the film begins . 
sam convinces max to go back to america with him so they can make lots of money , and so their various subplots can all be resolved . 
sam is broke . 
max is dying . 
pass the kleenex . 
my giant , as a comedy , is only moderately funny . 
it has its moments , the best of which features steven seagal making fun of himself . 
in one great scene , sam gets his son on the phone to talk to seagal ; of course , his son doesn't believe that he's actually speaking to seagal , and he goes off about how bad of an actor he is ( i would quote the line i like but it would probably lose its effect ) . 
crystal is always entertaining , and he has a few good lines here ( some of which are subtle throwaways that many will miss entirely ) ; often , however , he's countered by a slew of jokes that aren't funny , and cause an involuntary rolling of the eyes . 
muresan is kind of fun to watch , but he just can't act very well . 
quinlan , on the other hand , is a great actress who needs to get a role that shows off her talents . 
she was underused last year in both event horizon and breakdown , but at least in those films she had moments in which she could show us her stuff . 
here , the best thing she gets to do is fake a romanian accent . 
all of these disappointing ingredients create a film that , for much of its running time , is simply mediocre . 
as my giant lumbers to its inevitable conclusion , however , director michael lehmann ( who did a great job directing the underrated hudson hawk ) and scriptwriter david seltzer pile on every cliche imaginable , each one intended specifically to pull at our heartstrings . 
sam's multiple engagements with his family are all completely hackneyed ( how about a main character who has a healthy relationship with his family ? ) . 
later , it turns out the entire story is supposed to be a great big metaphor signifying sam's reunion with his family . 
and some people might think that what sam does for max towards the end is a valiant thing , but i had a few morality problems with it ( and i apologize for being vague ) . 
it's icky . 
it drips with gooey , wannabe human emotions . 
my giant could have been a straightforward and funny family film . 
more importantly , it could have been moving on a level far deeper than it is . 
instead , it's a complicated , overlong , and under-engaging film that elicits too few laughs and strives for superficial tears . 
and since it left me feeling completely unmoved , i stand by my position that sentimentality is evil and will ultimately destroy the world . 
"
"-1","this is not a simple plan about finding a plane load of money and getting away with the cash . 
this is more about a parable of greed , and how money can become the bane of your life . 
yes , there are elements of ? fargo' here ( the snow and cold ) , although not as vivid in the blood and gore department . 
it shows how greed can set of a chain of events leading to death and the destruction of lives . 
and how at the end of the day , the things that matter most are love , truth and honesty . 
although in one sense it may seem tedious , making a movie about the ugliness of greed ( not box office material ) , it does become tedious , not because of the morale ending , but because one expects the movie to end that way . 
this becomes apparent after the first murder to cover up the crime , the rest of the movie just spirals downward from there . 
the characters in this drama are a mixture of simple and intellectual folk , brothers and friends , who all fall prey to the avarice of money . 
they should have perhaps thrown in someone sensible , level headed and not affected by greed to give the party more balance . 
commendable is the exceptional performance of billy bob thornton , whose portrayal of the simpleton brother was masterful . 
bill paxton also gives a powerful performance as the greedier younger brother , whilst bridget fonda is convincing as the greediest wife , who indirectly causes the most problems . 
fill a room full of greedy people and several million dollars , and you will end up with a simple recipe for a blood bath . 
it's not a simple plan , when you shoot everyone you love for money , unless you're the menendez brothers . 
"
"-1","based on the 1960s tv series that i had never seen or heard of before this movie ( be happy , i won't bore you with any lame and unnecessary comparisons ) , this film allows will smith to take a third stab at the independence day weekend box-office , after scoring huge successes with men in black ( 7/10 ) , directed by the same man who controlled this one , and independence day ( 6/10 ) . 
can you say . . . the 
third times not a charm ? 
plot : james west and artemus gordon are chosen by the president to find the man responsible for the kidnapping of the nation's top scientists , and threatening to take over the united states within a week . 
critique : i did not laugh once during this entire picture . 
when you consider that this film is a part-comedy , that's not a very good sign . 
i also did not tense up or particularly enjoy any of its unenergetic action sequences which provided me with little more than a few minutes time to think back to the lovely salma hayek scenes . 
when you consider that the other "" part "" of this film is geared as an action/adventure , i would say that this another negative sign . 
and when you consider that the first hour of the film was boring and a little slow , the story-line tired , reminiscent of swiss cheese and uninvolving , and the special effects interesting but worth very little inside a plot filled with lame one-liners , weak characterizations and an anti-climactic end , you pretty much have the gist of my impression of this "" big "" summer blockbuster . 
it blows . 
or as they say in french , "" eet blows "" . 
could it be that the script was crappy because it took four people to write it ? 
maybe . 
could it be that most of the special effects don't show up until the last half hour , and even then , we don't see anything that its trailers hadn't already given away ? 
perhaps . 
or could it be that we have come to expect so much more from will smith and hollywood big-budget movies , that we cannot help but evaluate them on a scale onto their own ? 
naaaaaaah ! 
a bad movie is a bad movie . 
on a positive note , i could honestly say that i did very much enjoy the lovely performance by the adorable salma hayek , who seemed underused ( in my humble opinion ) , and lit up every bubbly scene that she was hardly in . 
branagh was also fun as the scenery-munching , over-the-top bad guy , but that's pretty much where the entertainment-buck stopped . 
smith and kline were static at best , the plot full of holes , and the score insignificant and derivative of a dozen others . 
i would strongly advise anyone not to see this movie . 
then again , there is that one scene with the lovely salma hayek tied up in a cage . . . huh . . . oh 
yeah , but the rest of the movie sucked . 
little known facts about this film and its stars : will smith has starred in two of the ten all-time top grossing films worldwide : 1997's summer blockbuster men in black ( 7/10 ) , for which he also recorded the grammy-winning title song , and 1996's independence day ( 6/10 ) . 
he once turned down a scholarship to mit to pursue his singing career . 
kevin kline is a graduate of the juilliard school of drama , and has been married to the cute-as-a-button actress phoebe cates since 1989 . 
they have two kids together , greta simone and owen . 
one of the buildings that gets blown up in this film has "" kasdan "" written on it . 
lawrence kasdan is a director known to have worked with kevin on five of his movies , including the big chill , silverado , i love you to death , grand canyon and french kiss . 
salma hayek gave up a successful career as a major television star in latin america and moved to the united states to start over , even though she spoke no english . 
she made her feature film debut as an actress with a small role in allison anders' mi vida loca ( no , not the rickie martin video ! ) and played her first starring role in robert rodriguez's desperado opposite antonio banderas . 
since then , she has made an appearance in each one of rodriguez's films . 
she stands 5'2 "" , was born in southeast mexico , and the daughter of a lebanese father and a mexican mother . 
one of the actresses cast as branagh's lovely but lethal beauties includes bail ling , a stage and screen star in her native china who was last seen starring opposite dick gere in red corner ( 7/10 ) . 
another is dutch-born frederique van der wal , who is one of the world's most recognized supermodels , having graced the cover of cosmopolitan numerous times , as well as harper's bazaar , vogue and mademoiselle . 
"
"-1","in the line of duty is the critically praised series of television movies dealing with the real-life incidents that claimed lives of law enforcement officers in usa . 
the twilight murders , another one from the series , is dealing with the case of gordon kahl ( played by rod steiger ) , old farmer from north dakota who would rather spend a year in prison than pay taxes to the despised u . s . government . 
after being released , he still refuses to pay taxes and the warrant is issued for his arrest . 
when the u . s . marshals come to arrest him , it turns out that kahl isn't alone . 
many poor farmers in rural northwest share his extremist anti-government beliefs , and the routine operation turns into shootout that would leave federal officers that . 
that brings fbi on the scene , and agent mayberly ( michael gross ) is supervising the manhunt . 
however , his efforts seem fruitless , since kahl still has many supporters , some of them even in the local law enforcement . 
after betrayed , 1988 thriller by costa gavras , hollywood mostly ignored the disturbing trends of rising right-wing extremism in the american northwest , and that remained so until oklahoma city bombing , when media hype brought right-wingers back into spotlight . 
until that time , only the television movies like this one bothered to pay attention to that phenomenon . 
unfortunately , the twilight murders is still routine and formulaic television film , that uses sensationalist real life content in order to cover lack of originality in the script . 
sometimes , like many american tv movies , it creates drama where drama shouldn't be . 
on the other hand , film is steadily directed by dick lowry , and rod steiger does good job potraying gordon kahl . 
on the other hand , michael gross as his pursuer is quite wooden and his interaction with some of the actors is terrible . 
however , film does deal with potentially thought-provoking social and political issues , so hour and half spent in front of the screen shouldn't be the total waste of time . 
"
"-1"," * * * the following review contains spoilers * * * 
 "" it's just . . . 
the way . . . 
we are . "" 
--- a rapist ( matt frewer ) responds to supergirl's ( helen slater ) query as to why she's being attacked , an example of the mind-numbingly bad dialogue in supergirl . 
i'll admit it . . . 
i love superman iii . 
i know it's hated amongst the superman faithful who dismiss it as nothing more than a vehicle for richard pryor , but i still think it's a worthy addition to the man of steel franchise . 
supergirl , a spin-off film of sorts from the series' same producers ( alexander and ilya salkind ) , doesn't even rival superman iii in terms of quality , let alone superman or superman ii . 
supergirl lost me from the opening scenes and went steadily downhill for the rest of its two hour plus running time . 
as the film begins we see the residents of argo city , a commune like place consisting of refugees from krypton which resides in "" inner space "" , go about their daily lives . 
ok . . . 
what ? 
so these are exiles from krypton , which blew up right ? 
were they living there before krypton exploded ? 
how do you get to "" inner space "" ? 
this whole "" inner space "" notion is never explained , particularly in terms of how these people get information from the outside world . 
how do they know where superman went ? 
how do they know he took the name clark kent and now works at the daily planet ? 
these kinds of things frustrate the hell out of me . 
argo city is kept running by a power source called the omegahedron . 
one day the founder of argo city , zaltar ( peter o' toole ) , gives the omegahedron to superman's cousin , kara ( helen slater ) , for use as inspiration in her art . 
kara uses it to create a bug-like thing which immediately crashes through the layer of "" whatever "" that protects the city . 
in the chaos , the omegahedron sails out through the opening , dooming the argonians to death . . . 
in three days time , or something . 
kara then climbs into a pod which zaltar had designed for interdimensional travel and chases after the omegahedron to save her world . 
the power source travels directly to earth and lands in the bowl of dip belonging to a minor-league witch named selena ( faye dunaway ) who , immediately before her dip was ruined , announced her desires to rule the world to her sometimes warlock boyfriend nigel ( peter cook ) . 
selena somehow knows that this ball from the sky will help her with her evil plans , and she sets out to achieve world domination . 
selena is unaware of course that kara has also arrived on earth , and that she's arrived as supergirl ( complete with appropriate costume ) . 
supergirl emerges from the bottom of a lake when she arrives . 
ok . . . 
huh ? 
why does the omegahedron fall from the sky but supergirl shoots out of the bottom of a lake ? 
attention movie : explain yourself ! 
i'm sorry , i can only suspend disbelief so much . 
i can't buy into any of this nonsense just because the movie wants me to . 
knowing that she needs a secret identity , supergirl basically "" wills "" herself into a school girl outfit ( complete with a different hairstyle ) , picks the alias linda lee and enrolls into school . 
she's given her dorm assignment , and who happens to be her roommate ? 
lois lane's sister , lucy . 
ok , coincidence is one thing folks , but we're getting really contrived now . 
what follows are some generic all-girls school hijinks . . . 
complete with evil bully girls ( mean for no reason , of course ) and even a shower scene ( ! ) . 
best moment though comes when supergirl decides to put a bra on over her school uniform and starts stuffing it with socks . 
at this point i'm rapidly wondering why i'm bothering with this nonsense . 
there is some credit to give to the film however . 
one lengthy and elaborate sequence featuring an "" evil "" bulldozer destroying a small town in search of its "" prey "" is very well done . 
also , its commendable to see genders reversed in the film , whereas the women have all the power and the men are merely objects and tools . 
hart bochner ( die hard ) is particularly fun as kara's love interest , a lovesick landscaper who is under a spell cast by selena ( although he is unfortunately part of one of the film's more ridiculous moments , when he has to be rescued from being tapped by some "" menacing "" bumper cars ) . 
then there were numerous little things that bothered me . 
the flying effects are never convincing for a moment . . . 
it's all too obvious that helen slater is hooked to wires . 
instead of having her look like she's flying , the filmmakers wanted her to be "" graceful "" , so she poses a lot and does ballet-type maneuvers . 
also , who are the first two humans to meet supergirl when she arrives on earth ? 
a pair of truck drivers/rapists who immediately attack her and then meet a "" wacky "" demise . 
there is also some rampant product placement in the film , most notably for popeye's , tylenol , and a&w root beer , with the latter actually putting its logo on the t-shirt of one of the rapists ( ? ! ) . 
finally , just one word : monsters . 
faye dunaway and peter o'toole ham it up unmercifully , however when o'toole overacts he's entertaining and when dunaway does it she's annoying ( her character actually says the line "" seize them ! "" 
at one point ) . 
dunaway's henchmen ( played by peter cook and brenda vaccaro ) fare much better , with vaccaro coming off best as the equivalent of ned beatty's otis character from the first two superman movies . 
helen slater effectively portrays supergirl as the innocent , naive character she's written to be , as she's able to gaze at flowers and bunnies with the right amount of genuine wonder to make it believable . 
believability aside though , it's still annoying . 
now despite all this negativity ( and i'm not alone here . . . supergirl is not a well liked nor a well respected movie in many circles ) , leave it to the good people at anchor bay entertainment to actually make people not only interested , but excited about its release on dvd ! 
they have released two separate editions of the film on dvd , to the delight of many people ( including myself . . . 
yet i'm still unclear as to why , since this movie is so awful ) . 
the first and most widely available dvd release features the international version of the film which runs 10 minutes longer than the print which ran in u . s . theaters . 
the movie is presented in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 2 . 35 : 1 , is enhanced for 16x9 televisions , and has been remastered in full thx glory . 
extras on the disc include : a full length audio commentary track with director jeannot szwarc and "" special project consultant "" scott michael bosco , the excellent 50-minute documentary from 1984 called supergirl-the making of a feature ( dig that workout montage ! ) , 5 trailers , 3 tv spots , talent bios , in-depth storyboards ( accompanied by score from the movie ) , and assorted still galleries . 
the transfer on this international version is incredible . . . 
you'd think you were watching a new release . 
images are sharp , colors jump off the screen , and the picture is free of scratches or artifacts . 
only some special effects sequences show the wear of time , and there just isn't much that can be done about that ( unless you're obsessive like george lucas ) . 
the new thx approved audio is loud and clear in all the right places , however you'll be hearing absurd dialogue and a mediocre jerry goldsmith score ( which is completely unrelated to john williams' classic superman theme and sounds better suited for a cannon films' golan-globus production ) . 
the commentary track featuring director szwarc and project consultant bosco is a step in the right direction in the evolution of audio commentaries . 
bosco seems to be an expert in all things supergirl and is there with szwarc to ensure that there's no dead air on the track . 
bosco probes szwarc for information on virtually everyone and everything that comes onscreen , and we learn a great deal more about the film as a result of his participation . 
although , at times you can tell that bosco is looking for a specific response from szwarc , and is surprised when he doesn't get that response . 
we learn some fascinating tidbits on the track , most notably the "" almost "" appearance in the film by christopher reeve . 
great detail is given about superman's proposed role in the original script before reeve ( wisely ) dropped out . 
as it stands , superman is written off early on in the film when we hear a radio broadcast mention that he is billions of light years away on some sort of peace mission . 
for the sake of brevity , i won't even get into that one . 
szwarc also reveals that is was the conscious decision of the salkinds ( and everyone else agreed ) that supergirl needed to stand on its own , replacing the science fiction of the superman films with cutsy "" whimsical fantasy "" nonsense . 
bosco also points out scenes not in the american release as they come along , claiming that had they been in the original release it would have been a hit at the box office . 
again , for the sake of brevity , i won't even get into that one . 
anchor bay has also released a limited edition ( only 50 , 000 copies pressed ) two-disc set . 
disc one contains everything mentioned for the regular release . 
disc two features the never before seen director's cut of the film , which runs 138 minutes long . 
the additions mainly consist of scene extensions which don't add much of note , except for a few moments which lengthen peter o'toole's screen time ( particularly during his latter appearances ) . 
the print is rough in spots and the sound is only in mono , but fans of the film won't care . 
one question though . . . 
shouldn't the director's commentary be on the director's cut of the film ? 
i'd never seen supergirl before i sat down to watch this dvd . 
i was nine when it was released to theaters , and even then i was smart enough to inform my parents not to take me to see it . 
so when i popped the dvd into my player and sat down in my easy chair i had no idea what to expect . 
i knew the film wasn't beloved and i never had any interest in it before , but i was willing to give it a shot because of the impressive amount of work put into the disc . 
as the disc began to spin i was rather impressed with the opening sequence , which made me sit up and wonder if my assumptions all this time could have been wrong . 
come to find out however it was just the chase digital stereo logo . . . 
so i slunk back into my seat as the nightmare started . 
at the end of the film , supergirl flies back into the lake with the omegahedron , and flies back to argo city . 
ugh , i give up . 
i'm surprised i even made it to the end of the film not once , not twice , but three times to review these discs . 
supergirl is definitely a terrific dvd package , but a very lousy movie . 
[pg] 
"
"-1"," "" practical magic , "" is a film that is so misguided in so many ways that it makes you wonder how such talented and high-profile actors would even get involved in an embarrassing clap-trap like this one . 
the film stars sandra bullock and nicole kidman as sally and gillian owens , two sisters whose family comes from a long line of witches , spanning back 200 years . 
at the start , their parents die when they are still children , and they go to live with their two zany aunts ( stockard channing and dianne wiest ) . 
switch to the present day , gillian , who is the stronger , more rebellious sibling , leaves home , and meets up with a dark , abusive guy ( goran visjnic ) , while sally stays in their hometown , meets and falls in love with a sweet , caring man , has two children , and then is devastated when her husband is hit by a truck and killed ( come to think of it , she's not too devastated since she gets over it in about two minutes ) . 
when gillian calls sally to come get her after having another abusive spat with visjnic , they accidentally murder him , and in desperation , bury the body in the backyard of their aunts' house . 
add to this wildly convoluted story subplots involving the dead rising and an exorcism , not to mention a spattering of "" light-hearted whimsy , "" and you have a pretty good idea how messy "" practical magic "" is . 
after seeing the film , i reflected that there was not even one scene , or element , that i liked or enjoyed . 
it is a comedy , to be sure , but all of the humor falls astoundingly flat , and the occasional dramatic moments are the least bit touching . 
it is not charming or entertaining in any way . 
and then to top it off , we've got this dark , but bird-brained story of an evil spirit taking over gillian's body . 
whatever . 
the characters are handled terribly , and actually , most of the actors do not have the fortune of even getting to be what you could call a character . 
there is no reason why channing and wiest should have decided to be in this film , and in every scene involving them , they are always standing side-by-side . 
no attempt is made to flesh them out into actual people . 
the same goes for aidan quinn , as a handsome police investigator , who has the misfortune of being the romantic lead opposite bullock , even though he comes into it at around the 70-minute mark , and once again , there is no attempt to develop their relationship , or his character , in any way . 
in fact , every line of dialogue in the film is in service of moving the plot along , rather than getting to know the people saying the lines . 
i should have know i was headed for trouble during the opening credits , when i found out the screenplay was written by the deeply hated akiva goldsman , who managed to destroy the "" batman "" series with "" batman forever "" and "" batman and robin . "" 
 "" practical magic "" is directed by griffin dunne , primarily an actor , who last year made the contrived , clumsy romance , "" addicted to love , "" with meg ryan and matthew broderick . 
i disliked that movie quite a bit , but since "" practical magic "" is even worse , that can only give you a taste of what a talentless filmmaker he is . 
i'd tell him to quit while he's ahead , but in these last two years , he's ultimately already buried himself . 
"
"-1","nearly every film tim burton has directed has been an homage to the horror genre -- "" frankenweenie , "" "" beetlejuice , "" "" batman , "" "" edward scissorhands , "" "" ed wood , "" "" mars attacks ! "" 
-- yet none of them have been horror films . 
 "" sleepy hollow "" is his first attempt to actually scare people . 
i greeted the prospect with high anticipation ; burton's whole career seemed to be leading up to this . 
i left disappointed . 
andrew kevin walker's screenplay takes only the character names from the classic short story "" the legend of sleepy hollow . "" 
in the movie ichabod crane ( johnny depp ) is a new york city police constable who is trying to introduce scientific methods of investigation to his superiors . 
ichabod is dispatched to the small town of sleepy hollow to investigate a series of murders . 
several of the town's leading citizens have been decapitated by the headless horseman . 
although he rejects the ghost story the town elders tell him , ichabod finds that the facts of the case confound his scientific reasoning . 
he also discovers that the killings are not random , that the victims are tied together by a secret . 
along the way ichabod gets help from a bewitching ( literally ) young woman ( christina ricci ) and the son of one of the murder victims ( marc pickering ) . 
my reaction : ho-hum . 
the plot is an accumulation of cliches without even the slightest touch of originality to make it interesting . 
that in itself is forgivable ; hollywood constantly tries to sell us used products in new packages . 
however , burton's attempts at inducing fright come off as goofy . 
it might be his background -- in his previous movies , goofy was the goal . 
along the same lines , it doesn't help that creature designer ( and producer ) kevin yagher has done his best work for the tongue-in-cheek tales from the crypt tv series . 
a witch's eyes and tongue shoot out like roger rabbit's , a tree spurts blood like it's in a monty python sketch , and the headless horseman . 
 . 
 . 
well , he's a guy without a head . 
 . 
 . 
on a horse ( boo ! ) . 
the performances are also awful . 
although he's impressed me with his work in other films , depp doesn't seem to know what to do with ichabod , and his dialogue is hampered by stilted diction that's supposed to pass for an 18th century accent . 
ricci seems to put all her effort into seeming enigmatic , which guarantees that we won't sympathize with her character . 
the actor who is revealed at the end to be the villain comes off as ridiculously cartoonish . 
the only pleasure generated by the cast comes from surprise cameos by christopher lee , martin landau , and christopher walken . 
i wonder if this movie was originally conceived as part of francis ford coppola's projected series of gothic adaptations , a series that produced only "" bram stoker's dracula "" and "" mary shelley's frankenstein . "" 
coppola is an executive producer for "" sleepy hollow , "" and the script reflects his interest in early forms of "" moving pictures , "" particularly in a toy that ichabod carries which blends two pictures to create an optical illusion . 
 ( there's a bird on one side of the card , a cage on the other . 
when the card is flipped rapidly , the bird appears to be caged . ) 
bottom line : the hollow isn't the only thing that's sleepy . 
"
"-1","annie wilson ( cate blanchett ) , a widow who struggles to raise her children in a small town in georgia is asked for help by local authorities in solving the case of a missing woman . 
annie is something of a psychic , she has involuntary bouts with the supernatural where she can see the past and the future and physically feel the actions happenning to her she envisions . 
her "" gift "" leads to the arrest of a nasty wife beater who may or may not have killed the pretty rich girl found in the swamp on his property . 
in an ultra conservative backwoods town will her testimony based on her psychic visions hold up in court ? 
do they even have the right man ? 
what's good about it : 
aside from keanu reeves giving one of the best performances of his career as the loathable redneck donnie barksdale , there is little else going for the film . 
what's not so good about it : 
lame , unoriginal screenplay . 
predictable ending . 
suspense scenes that are just plain boring . 
ridicously trite characterization makes the entire south out to be ingnorant , hateful goobers . 
relentless in its emotional sensationaliztion . 
overall critique : 
 "" the gift "" is one of those movies that makes you wonder where you've seen this story before . 
it's a collection of every cliche and stereotype of the south ever made , and coming from a yankee like me who dislikes the south that's really saying something . 
for an established , talented director sam raimi is unable to provide any kind of originality to this film . 
it's predictable from the first scene , the screenplay is written like a rip-off of a photocopied bootlegged play . 
you know that as nasty as the murder suspect is he didn't actually do it . 
it's no surprise either who the real villain turns out to be and what their motive was . 
sigh , how trite . 
for a supernatural thriller this is neither scary nor intense because it's so cliche . 
 "" the gift "" is basically a glorified b-movie . 
"
"-1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
i was incredulous when i first heard that mgm was planning a sequel to their 1995 science-fiction flick species . 
squandering an intriguing premise , the original film turned out to be a dreadful mess , widely disliked by both audiences and critics alike -- and nonetheless still somehow succeeded in becoming a financial success , raking in over $60 million domestic during the competitive summer season despite a distinct lack of star power in its cast ( ben kingsley's a splendid actor , but a marquee name he ain't ) . 
miraculously dodging the bullet with the first film , i doubted that they'd dare tempt fate and go for another round . 
so here comes species ii , with a new creative team ( director peter medak and screenwriter chris brancato step in for roger donaldson and dennis feldman , respectively ) that fails to improve the series one iota -- like its predecessor , species ii fails to capitalize on a potentially promising kernel and instead runs the gamut from ridiculously silly to unmitigatedly stupid . 
the film follows the exploits of a young man , patrick ross ( justin lazard ) , whose sole focus is on cruising along the streets in order to pick up women , loitering in strip clubs , and generally trying to bed as many different ladies as he possibly can . 
in other words , patrick is like a lot of guys ; these activities could describe the everyday routines of a huge percentage of men his age , but there's a catch -- he's an astronaut who recently returned from a seemingly successful mission to mars , and who's now infected with alien dna . 
patrick's overriding compulsion : to mate and sire countless numbers of gooey little alien offspring . 
and when he becomes aware of eve ( natasha henstridge ) , a half-human , half-alien clone of the monster from the first film being studied in a government lab , patrick's primary focus turns to her -- "" if these two were to mate , the resulting pure strain of offspring would be unstoppable "" warns dr . laura baker ( marg helgenberger , gamely reprising her role ) with admirable conviction . 
species ii opens with the mars mission , and the space scenes are remarkably unconvincing and hokey-looking , even splicing back to dated , grainy footage of actual spacecraft activities -- they really skimped on production values this time around . 
however , this all looks positively inspired when compared to the first appearance of the evil alien goo which ultimately infests patrick ; watching as it slinks around the command module of the spaceship , any question as to whether or not this is a cheesy b-movie is quickly answered . 
mr . brancato's original screenplay is filled with outrageous lines which often leaves the audience in stitches . 
like the first film ( and perhaps in homage to it ) , there's a real penchant for dialogue which underlines the obvious . 
last time around featured the hootworthy line uttered by forest whitaker's psychic empath character upon entering a bloodsoaked room -- "" something bad happened here . "" 
this time , laura gets to stand over a fresh , shredded corpse with its entails ripped out and mutter "" this is awful . "" 
and she's not even empathic ! 
and when a psychotically horny patrick accosts a supermarket shopper and drags her kicking and screaming behind the building in a woefully-paced suspense sequence , eve , who's telepathically linked to her alien/human-hybrid counterpart ( whatever ) , helpfully tells our alien-hunting protagonists , "" he's going to rape her . "" 
while species ii is often unintentionally hilarious , at least it occasionally demonstrates a sense of humour of its own . 
there's an amusing , tongue-in-cheek bit of product placement ( which doesn't really make much sense , but i appreciated the sentiment ) , as well as some supermarket-related hijinx ( "" he's in aisle 1 ! "" 
informs eve ) . 
if the film maintained this sort of light-hearted tone , it would have been much more charming and enjoyable to watch , but , to its detriment , it instead takes its silly plot far too seriously and barrels along to a bloody , effects-ladened anticlimactic conclusion . 
much of the film fails to make a whole lot of sense , and there are such gaping plot holes that it's terribly difficult to contain any suspension of disbelief . 
the implausibilities are endless : what about the toxic bomb in eve's brain ? 
why are the guards armed with guns when they already know firearms are ineffectual ? 
my favourite was the slow-motion sequence in the film where eve , sporting superhuman strength , is shown tossing aside guards who are attempting to contain her with what look like body blocks . 
this is the sort of movie which leaves you holding your head in amazed disbelief , incredulous that it's being foisted upon the public . 
returning headlines michael madsen ( who reprises tough guy press lennox ) and ms . helgenberger do what they can with this goofy screenplay , but there's realistically only so much one can do with this script as a basis . 
mykelti williamson ( portraying astronaut dennis gamble ) churns out an all-too-familiar spin on a generic brash-mouthed character , and fine character actors george dzundza ( playing colonel burgess and looking ridiculous in the process ) and james cromwell ( patrick's neglectful father , senator ross ) are utterly wasted in the film . 
mr . lazard gives his character an appropriately shifty-eyed look , while returning vixen ms . henstridge is actually given the opportunity to act in one scene ( and acquits herself nicely ) , but is mostly relegated to reprising her familiar role of parading about in skimpy clothing ( or none at all ) . 
ms . henstridge recently commented on how some female audiences have expressed appreciation for her character in the first entry of the species series , claiming that "" she's so empowered . "" 
a lethal half-alien in heat who dispatches of her sexual partners in grotesque fashion -- now * that's * what i call empowerment . 
"
"-1","the sequel to the fugitive ( 1993 ) , u . s marshals is an average thriller using it's association with the fugitive just so it can make a few extra bucks . 
tommy lee jones returns to his role as chief deputy samuel gerard , the grizzly cop who was after harrison ford in the fugitive . 
this time , he's after fugitive mark sheridan ( snipes ) who the police think killed two fbi agents , but of course he's been set up , and when the police plane escort he ( and gerard ) are riding crashes , he makes a run for it , gerard not so hot on his tail . 
what follows is about 2 hours of action , brought to us by the director of executive decision ( 1995 ) , another film curiously involving a plane . 
when comparing this movie to the fugitive , the prequel is far superior . 
but even on it's own , u . s marshals is a pretty lousy movie . 
while the original was reasonably intelligent , and had a fugitive to root for , the audience feels strangely distanced from snipes fugitive , mainly because we know so little about him until way into the film's overlong running time . 
while the fugitive gave a little time to develop harrison fords character , u . s marshals is straight in there , pulling it's trump card ( the place crash ) almost immediately . 
to be honest , i couldn't care less if snipe's character got captured or not . 
snipes performance is average , and his character gets surprisingly little screen time ( considering he is the fugitive ) for reasons i'll explain later . 
tommy lee jones is as fine as ever , although his role is hardly a challenge . 
the sense of deja vu was overwhelming . 
i know it's the same role from the fugitive , but there is seemingly no attempt to develop his character from the last film . 
there's a few 'nudge nudge' references from the first film , but apart from that , nothing . 
nobody even mentions harrison ford in this movie . 
downey jnr is ok as fbi agent john royce who's roped into the chase , and sexy french actress irene jacob wanders in and out of the movie as snipes wife . 
nobody looks as if their having a good time , and all the performers are on autopilot . 
the supporting cast are o . k , but when it comes to performances , u . s marshals falls flat on it's face . 
it doesn't fare any better plot-wise , either . 
the film starts off with gerard trying to capture snipes , but then veers off into terrorists territory . 
as said above , the film is an normal , average terrorist thriller , seen a million times before , but is using the fugitive reputation to make it sound more professional . 
if this film wasn't the 'sequel' to the fugitive , this would probably go straight to video , or not even been made at all , because it's so average . 
and because of the film's plot changing it's course , snipes is almost forgotten apart , and hardly features in the movie . 
stuart baird , the director , is all right , but there's no particular scene that stands out . 
it's director is the usual action movie style . 
even the plane crash is sorely lacking in tension . 
the special effects are nice , especially the plane crash , and there's a good ( if very loud ) soundtrack by veteran composer jerry goldsmith . 
but in the end , u . s marshals suffers from an overwhelmingly lack of excitement . 
sure , it's loud and dumb , but in the end u . s marshals just ain't fun . 
bored performers and a lackluster plot and script , do not make a good action movie . 
overall rating= review by david wilcock web space provided by geocities 
"
"-1","one of the contributors to the destruction of the batman film franchise chris o'donnell stars in this remake of buster keaton's 1925 silent film seven chances . 
now i've never seen seven chances , as i'm more of a chaplin fan than a keaton fan , but i seriously doubt that the classic version could be as insipid as this . 
o'donnell plays jimmie shannon , the manager of a pool table manufacturing company . 
he also fears commitment , and despite dating anne ( renee zellweger ) for over three years , he's unwilling to marry her . 
his reasons ? 
well he's a guy you see , and well , guys are like stallions , and they apparently don't like to be roped or something ( hey , that's the movie's explanation . . . 
i'd marry renee zellweger in a second ) . 
eventually it comes time for jimmie to propose , and when he does , it's the most absurd proposal ever uttered by a man ever . 
he essentially says to her , "" you win "" and hands her a ring . 
the audience should now hate this character . 
i did . 
then the meat of the plot presents itself . 
jimmie's grandfather ( peter ustinov , completely wasted ) dies and leaves jimmie his entire estate of 100 million dollars as well as ownership of the pool table business . 
however , in order to get the money and save the jobs of the factory workers , jimmie must be married before his next birthday ( which is just over 24 hours away ) . 
having blown his chances with anne , jimmie proceeds to track down all his prior girlfriends and suggest a "" business proposition "" . 
the movie wasn't half bad by this time , surprisingly . 
it wasn't boring me , and even managed to read my thoughts at one point . 
ustinov's character left a video will , and while he's reading the ridiculous clause in it , i thought to myself "" what is this , brewster's millions ? "" . 
as soon as i thought it , hal holbrook's character actually says "" what is this , brewster's millions ? "" 
it was quite surreal . 
something happens though during the film's final act that caused me to sharply drop the rating it was going to receive . 
up to that point , all of jimmie's prior girlfriends had turned down his "" business proposition "" which i felt was good . 
at least the film wasn't painting women to be cold hearted gold diggers . 
when jimmie has no other options , his goofy friend ( played by artie lange , making a career out of playing the goofy friend ) places an ad in the newspaper that somehow becomes a front page story . 
at this point , 100 , 000 women don wedding gowns and head off to persuade jimmie to pick them to be his bride . 
these women arrive at jimmie's location and immediately start bullying him about what he's looking for in a woman . 
when he's had enough of their unjustified attacks , he tells the angry mob that there's been a mistake and he won't be marrying any of them . 
as a result , the women proceed to chase him around the city , in hopes of catching him and tearing his limbs off . 
this goes on for the rest of the film . 
it's just chris o'donnell running from 100 , 000 obnoxious , greedy , angry and stupid women . 
my groans of disgust could be heard for miles . 
the film finally ended ( thankfully ) , but to this day i'm still groaning . 
the bachelor is available on dvd from new line home video . 
it contains the film in both full frame and in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1 . 85 : 1 , cast and crew info , and special dvd-rom features . 
the original theatrical trailer is also on the disc , which contains scenes not in the film . 
apparently there was even more footage of the gang of brides chasing o'donnell around the city , and at one point o'donnell is leaping from the tops of buses . 
so that was bad enough to be cut , but the other 30 minutes of bride shenanigans was good ? 
ugh . 
"
"-1","the happy bastard's quick movie review 
holy man 
more like holy crap . 
the film stars eddie murphy as a mystical-ish figure named g on a strange journey of some sort when he comes across two network execs ( jeff goldblum and kelly preston ) with a flat tire on their hands . 
somehow he ends up in their car and on their channel , a line-up of infomercial programs featuring the likes of betty white , morgan fairchild , and a slew of other celebrities and nameless figures . 
it's here that he seems to hit his stride , speaking of life instead and somehow boosting sales . 
at this point in the movie , of course , morality comes into play , particularly on goldblum , who suddenly feels he can market the magical g into megabucks to get in good with his boss ( robert loggia ) . 
it doesn't take long for the movie to unfold into sappy mush , with realizations taking place left and right and poor plot points . 
only a real zippy sequence involving frying morgan fairchild's face seems to have any interest in the movie . 
murphy lends nothing to his character and poor goldblum looks as if he'd rather be someplace else . 
some may argue that the movie has a message , but all that came across to me is that i could probably get more entertainment watching that informercial with the guy in the question mark coat . 
at least he has something for us to laught at . . . 
"
"-1","forget get carter . 
instead . . . 
get me a cup of coffee . 
what the hell has happened to all good american action movies ? 
did i unknowingly miss a meeting somewhere ? 
when did all of the bad-ass , kicking butt and taking names , gun-toting , crazed , vengeful characters of the 1980's -- from such films as commando , cobra , predator , raw deal , first blood -- suddenly turn into innocent , compassionate , sensitive , teary-eyed knuckleheads . 
the only place to turn these days for an honest action film is towards the east -- and i don't mean new york city . 
get carter -- the latest masterpiece from uber-thespian sylvester stallone -- is a prime example of large and in charge 80's action stars trying to fit back into action roles they have long since outgrown . 
stallone seems like that one uncle you have who tries to be cool with his members only jacket and izod polo shirt with the collar popped up . 
a few years ago , stallone made a movie that gave him the opportunity to gracefully exit the roles that typecast him as an action monkey . 
that role was sheriff freddy heflin in copland -- a strange film about redemption within a broken soul . 
stallone actually gave an amazing performance and it seemed he had shaken off the past . 
too bad get carter returns stallone to action , but with the shiny paint rusted off on the edges . 
get carter is a simple story . 
stallone plays frank carter , a vegas bruiser for a loan shark ( played with amazing gusto by the uncredited voice of actor tom sizemore ) . 
when frank's brother gets himself killed in a drunk driving accident , frank , feeling all guilty and mushy inside , thinks foul play is involved and travels to seattle to set right all the wrongs with the patented "" carter's way "" . 
he talks tough with his brother's wife , lends a helping had to his brother's daughter doreen ( rachel leigh cook ) , and walks around seattle in the pouring rain dressed like a lost member of the rat pack with a really bad goatee . 
carter finds out that his brother was involved in some bad stuff with a slimy porn king played by ultra-cool , mcqueen-esque mickey rourke , a multi-millionaire computer geek ( alan cumming ) , and a strange foreign guy ( michael caine ) who speaks in riddles and talks tough . 
carter stalks all of them while trying to figure out who did in his brother and how to extract proper revenge on the responsible parties . 
what a minute ! 
this sounds just like another film i saw last year , the limey . 
better not tell terence stamp about stallone ripping him off . 
actually , get carter is a remake of the 1971 british production of the same name , starring caine in the title role ( and what with his cameo here , the cleverness is astonishing ) . 
while stallone still carries his own weight here , the movie lacks what the original did as well : purpose . 
throughout the film , stallone looks like an old guy trying to act tough , while nobody is taking him seriously . 
his one-liners fall flat , and he seems tired and uncertain of all the actions , mental and physical , required of his character . 
there is even a strange homoeroticism between rourke and stallone that lends a bizarre tone to their numerous conversations -- in both fists and words . 
the biggest surprise in get carter is that the best job done in the film is by the versatile mickey rourke . 
an amazing method actor in the eighties who fell into drugs , spousal abuse , a boxing career , and an intolerable attitude towards not getting his way , rourke still brings a dangerous sense of purpose to his porn king character . 
he may not win any oscars , but he still ranks highly in my book . 
get carter has great directing , strong acting by rourke and caine , and energetic car chases that would make william friedkin proud . 
the only thing it lacks - as with most hollywood productions -- is a good script and proper casting . 
never mind that it should never have been made at all . 
"
"-1","a remake of the 1978 warren beatty vehicle "" heaven can wait "" ( which in turn was a remake of "" here comes mr . jordan "" ) , "" down to earth "" tells the tale of lance barton ( chris rock , "" lethal weapon iv "" ) , a young black standup comic trying to win over the audience at harlem's apollo theater . 
when he's taken to heaven prematurely by bumbling angel keyes ( eugene levy , "" best in show "" ) , his only recourse is to return in another body . 
he chooses that of charles wellington , the tenth richest man in the united states . 
of course , wellington is not only rich , but white and 53 years old , which makes lance's bid for closing night at the apollo , as well as his desire to woo suntee ( regina taylor , "" jerry maguire "" ) , a tad tricky . 
the original elaine may/warren beatty script has been reworked by chris rock , lance crouther , ali leroi , and louis c . k . 
to turn beatty's vehicle as a football player into rock's vehicle as a comic and add some racial humor . 
as directed by chris weitz and paul weitz ( codirectors of "" american pie "" and costars of "" chuck & buck "" ) , the whole affair comes off as amateur hour . 
initial scenes play like filmed line reading rehearsals . 
production values are shoddy . 
most serious of all is the use of rock when his wellington counterpart would have been more appropriate . 
this problem is clearly attributable to the fact that the old white guy is never lip or action synched when he is on screen . 
rock does get the chance to do some fun schtick , such as his turnaround on wellington's plans for a poor neighborhood hospital ( 'bullet in the head ? 
you got a bed ! ' ) , but he's uneven when interacting with the rest of the cast . 
regina taylor fares well amidst the mediocrity as the young activist who confusedly ends up falling for the man she believed to be her nemesis . 
also good is frankie faison ( "" hannibal "" ) as whitney , lance's compassionate manager - the only human who's made privy to lance's body body switch . 
chaz palminteri and levy are pretty much wasted as heaven's ambassadors . 
another "" best in show "" alumnus , jennifer coolidge , is poorly used as wellington's cheating wife ( and shown several days apart wearing the same outfit ? ! ) and greg germann ( tv's "" ally mcbeal , "" "" sweet november "" ) continues display his sitcom roots as her lover and husband's lawyer . 
mark addy ( "" the full monty "" ) is sorely underutilized as cisco , wellington's fake english butler . 
stealing the show in every scene she's in is wanda sykes ( "" the chris rock show "" ) as wellington's disgruntled maid . 
 "" down to earth "" is for chris rock fans only . 
all others should go rent "" heaven can wait "" or truly be brought down to earth . 
"
"-1","what would you do if no one could see you ? 
well , if you're a super smart bio-molecular research scientist working for the military , you'd grope a co-worker and rough-up your neighbor from across the street . 
that's right . 
of all the non-criminal possibilities brought about by rendering oneself invisible , in "" hollow man "" kevin bacon's character opts to commit sex crimes . 
er , it's kevin bacon who plays the super smart military bio-molecular research scientist ? 
something sounds horribly wrong already . 
but this is a paul verhoeven film , and the sleazepin director of such open-crotch classics as "" basic instinct "" and the infamous "" showgirls "" never lets a little credibility get in the way of his voyeuristic tendencies which , when you come right down to it , is all this film is about . 
 "" hollow man "" features a string of hapless , c-list actors ( among them bacon , elisabeth shue , josh brolin , and kim dickens ) in a grade-z plot with a lot of special effects that , frankly , don't look much better than those used in the 1933 version of "" the invisible man . "" 
oh bacon glistens when he gets wet all right and looks like a rather fatty side of cheap flank steak when he's attempting reentry but otherwise it's lots of "" thermal "" shots and inanimate objects ( elisabeth shue included ) bobbing around without any visible signs of support . 
since invisibility , once achieved , isn't much of an effect ( the actors spend half their time conversing with nobody and the other half of their time talking to each other--it amounts to much of a muchness ) , the director elects to wardrobe all of his female protagonists in loosely-buttoned sweaters so that the minute bacon's character gets invisible he can head straight for them . 
it's as if that fascinating concept--what would you do if no one could see you ? --is 
simply a verhoeven ploy to show some skin . 
as a horror film , "" hollow man "" is unsophisticated and disturbing ( in its intent , not its achievements ) and not worth your time or your hard-earned dollars . 
it's minor verhoeven--and even that's not saying much--and boy is it hollow . 
"
"-1","roger ebert asks in his review of sexy beast , "" who would have guessed that the most savage mad-dog frothing gangster in recent movies would be played by . . . 
ben kingsley ? "" 
my response would be that anyone who has seen alan arkin in wait until dark , henry fonda in once upon a time in the west , or anthony hopkins in the silence of the lambs should have guessed it . 
they should know that the way for a film to create a really creepy sociopath is cast someone who generally plays mild , sympathetic , or even ineffectual character roles . 
the same characteristics that make an actor seem gentle in most of his roles can work in his favor when a role calls for him to be fierce and vicious . 
that is the principle that works for kingsley in sexy beast . 
gary "" gal "" dove ( played by ray winstone ) has retired from a london career of crime and is living on a luxurious villa in spain . 
life has become a routine of sunning himself and relaxing . 
but his paradise is about to be shattered by a one-two-punch . 
the first punch is a boulder that comes rolling down the hill next to the villa . 
the second punch comes from gal's past . 
back in london gang boss teddy bass ( ian mcshane , tv's lovejoy ) is planning to break into a safety deposit room in a bank and he wants gal . 
he sends his most rabid henchman don logan ( ben kingsley ) to fetch gal . 
don will accept any decision gal makes from "" yes "" to "" certainly . "" 
however , if gal says "" no "" don will do whatever it takes to turn it into a yes including threatening guy's ex-porn- star wife deedee ( amanda redman ) . 
in the meantime don knows just how to get under everybody's skin . 
kingsley makes don a compact package of fury and nastiness . 
there are some serious problems in louis mellis's and david scinto's script that should have been caught before filming . 
when we see the actual crime we have no idea why gal was so important to its success . 
beyond an ability to use skin-diving gear , no special talents are required of him . 
any local hood could have done what gal is needed for . 
additionally the crime involves digging from a swimming pool to the bank vault , flooding the vault . 
no only could they have let the water out of the pool and avoided the complication altogether , but there is by far too much water to be accounted for by what was in the pool . 
in spite of the provocative title , the story is cliched and overly familiar . 
i know i have seen all the plot elements of sexy beast in old westerns like the law and jake wade . 
the story is usually of the reformed outlaw , a robert taylor type , who has hung up his guns and is trying for a life of peaceful respectability . 
the old gang , however , wants to do one more job with their old buddy and sends a rabid richard widmark type to go and git ? im . 
it is not a great plot . 
in sexy beast even the plot twists have gray beards . 
perhaps the film has a little more respectability because it was made not as a western but as a stylish british gangster film . 
it is an old plot dressed up to look new . 
if the plot is old , at least the style is creative . 
this is director jonathan glazer's first film , but he has reputedly done some notable tv ads for guinness stout . 
his style does have some unexpected touches including some very odd dream sequences . 
cinematographer ivan bird uses a lot of half lit scenes . 
we see one side of a person's faces . 
but the other side fades into the darkness , a sort of metaphor for the half-world these characters in-habit . 
half of everything that is happening is also kept hidden . 
us yanks will have a hard time with some of the dialog . 
at least in my theater it was difficult to make out the words with the quiet speaking , the heavy accents , and the cockney language . 
sexy beast is a very and familiar minor plot lent respectability in the us by being done in what is here a still somewhat novel genre , the london crime film . 
the plot may be new to british crime films , but it would be overly familiar as a western . 
further respectability comes from ben kingsley's high-powered performance . 
i give it a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"-1","apparantly money talks . 
 . 
 . 
and uses quite a bit of obscenities doing so ! 
i've always considered myself pretty open about the gratuity a film can possess , whether in language , violence , sex , or what have you . 
i find that this fact gives me a little more leverage to complain when a movie goes overboard , and money talks definitely does ! 
it's not so much that the movie swore nearly constantly ( and i mean constantly ! ) , but it swore so much that it seemed overly prominent and way too staged . 
perhaps if one character were foul mouthed , but in this film , everybody swears nearly every other word . 
money talks is about a black ticket scalper named franklin hatchett ( played less annoyingly than expected by chris tucker ) . 
franklin is your typical con-man and ends up with more than one person out to get him . 
when the plot finally gets underway , there's no less than three people ( or groups ) that want him , dead or alive . 
the frenchman who's somewhat responsible for franklin's escape from a prisoner-packed bus , a hoodlum whom franklin owes seven grand , and the cops who wrongly suspect him of murder . 
franklin's only hope : james russell ( charlie sheen ) , an investigative reporter for the local news who's out to prove himself a worthy journalist . 
james offers to help clear franklin's name if franklin will just allow him an exclusive report to help channel 12 conquer sweeps week . 
both of these elements are completely lost along the way however , and never do reappear . 
as expected , the odd couple of franklin and james do wind up friends at the end , which is another wasted element seeing as how they show no signs of becoming friends at any point along the way . 
there is just nothing original or intriguing about this film , and so many developments are either non-relevant , or just plain forgotten about . 
money talks is a paint-by-numbers movie that lacks any real involvment with the audience . 
frivilous dialogue , a predictable , flat storyline , and two-dimensional characters make money talks a reason to save your money . 
"
"-1","starting with the little mermaid and most recently the lion king , the walt disney company once again proved that they could not only consistently make modern day animated classics , but were particularly in touch with what the general viewing public--particularly kids-- wanted to see . 
therefore , it's with some surprise that as a big fan of the above mentioned movies i was so disappointed with pocahontas . 
despite some innovation and risk taking , the story is surprisingly straightforward and dramatized in broad strokes , as are its characters . 
a group of englishmen lead by the evil governor ratcliffe come to the new world in search of gold with no regard for the "" savages "" that live there . 
the natives look upon the english with just as much fear and distrust . 
only the love between the beautifully structured pocahontas and the dashing captain john smith can prevent a terrible clash . 
the ending , as it turns out , is not entirely a happy one and is one of the film's finer moments . 
the characters are mixtures of stereotypes and lack any real depth . 
governor ratcliffe , for instance , is a snobbish , single-minded bore whose mere appearance is supposed to bring about hisses . 
captain john smith is a blond hunk who , while "" slightly "" misguided , is good at heart . 
pocahontas herself is the typical disney heroine who is practically being forced to marry a man who everyone but her likes and finds the man of her dreams just in time . 
she even comes complete with insignificant best friend . 
again , against tradition , talking animals aren't used , but a lusty , wizened , talking tree is . 
this is an odd compromise , but it's one of the few elements that really work . 
the animals are a delight , and what brief time their interactions take place brings the only humor and fun to a rather bland presentation . 
maybe it would have been a better film if we saw the story unfold through their eyes . 
the talking tree , who seems to have a thing for john smith , is the only other character that can hold our interest and is perhaps the best developed of the bunch . 
the music , a welcome delight in the later disney films , is mostly a let down here , with the exception of the catchy and motivational , "" colors of the wind . "" 
mel gibson , as the voice of john smith , has a solid singing voice and should have been used more . 
the opposite holds true for the governor ratcliffe led songs ; the singing is even more grating than his simplistic character . 
i was rather bored through what turned out to be a shorter than expected running time . 
even the children in the audience seemed restless . 
while there's no stopping a kid from seeing something that they want--or disney wants them to--most i believe will be disappointed . 
perhaps the biggest problem is that disney has strayed from their familiar fable and fairy tale themes to history . 
it's all right to change or embellish fantasy to suit a movie's entertainment value , but doing so to historical facts doesn't work nearly as well as creating nagging questions in the viewer's minds and plot holes that are never filled . 
even the artwork , another disney strong point , varies greatly in quality , making any story problems even more obvious . 
as mentioned above , there were many questions that stayed with me while viewing the film . 
for instance , if john smith was truly such a world traveler and had so much experience with "" savages , "" why did he so quickly change his previous "" kill as many indians as i can "" attitude . 
if he was such a nice guy after all , he should have changed his ways long before this . 
or how about pocahontas' amazing english speaking ability when this had supposedly been the first time she had seen white men ? 
i can understand making the native americans speak english for the benefit of the audience , but simply saying that they had met a missionary years earlier would have cleared up a lot ; history was modified in the film anyway . 
as it is , i wonder if it doesn't give kids the wrong impression . 
in short , the film is too simplistic for adults and contains too much romance and not enough action or humor for the younger set . 
while disney tried valiantly in many ways to break with some of their firmest traditions , they end up failing on too many levels . 
"
"-1","plot : upon the realization that they are failing all of their classes , two roommates try to find a third roomie who will kill himself , since the school's charter automatically grants top grades to the roommates of any student who succeeds in suicide . 
critique : despite this film's interesting premise and dark subject matter , this movie sucks because it is unfunny , boring , and presents us with one of tom everett scott's worst acting performances . 
add that to a completely unsuccessful romance element , many lame and corny jokes , a long wait for the setup , and an ending that takes all the blackness out of this "" black comedy "" ( if you're gonna create a black comedy , don't chicken out in the end-see very bad things ( 8/10 ) for a perfect example ) , and you've got yourself a trite mtv creation worthy of its own subject matter . 
i barely laughed at any gags , found the bong element contrived and repetitive , and was horrified not to find any gratuitous nudity tossed anywhere in this movie ( if you're gonna make a bad college comedy , at least slap in some free t&a shots for the kids : ) . 
this one's not even worth the rental , fellas . 
skip it altogether ! 
little known facts about this film and its stars : during auditions for that thing you do ! , tom everett scott's first feature film role , director tom hanks was opposed to hiring tom because of the fact that scott could've passed for hanks 15 years ago . 
it wasn't until hanks' wife rita wilson saw the audition tape , and decided he was cute , that hanks decided to risk hiring scott . 
the actor who played scott cooper in this film , mark-paul gosselaar , is best known for having played the character of zack morris on tv's "" saved by the bell "" . 
his parents are dutch and named hans and paula . 
and who would've guessed that this is director alan cohn's first shot at directing a feature film ? 
"
"-1","when respecting a director , you must also respect the fact that they are not perfect . 
woody allen has made a couple less-than good films , and he's my favorite . 
even martin scorsese hasn't had a perfect track record . 
kevin smith , after a smashing debut with the classic "" clerks "" stooped as low to sell-out and make the dreadful "" mallrats . "" 
i mean , so far the only director who's made several films , none of which have been bad is richard linklater ( "" slacker , "" "" dazed and confused , "" "" before sunrise , "" and "" suburbia "" . . . all 
which were great ) . 
now , i adore quentin tarantino . 
his first two films were classic films , the second one being one of the greatest films of all time . 
but 1995 just wasn't that good of a year for him . 
he made way too many tv appearances . 
he mispronounced jackie chan's name on the mtv movie awards . 
and he made this film . 
 ( he was also awarded an oscar , so i guess that would be a grand exception ) . 
robert rodriguez is also a great director ; not a brilliant one , but a cool one . 
i've never seen an alexandre rockwell or allison anders film , so i can't comment on them . 
but in this crap ensemble director's film , all four give pitiful efforts . 
pitiful for any director , too . 
now in all fairness , ensemble director pieces never really work out . 
i've never seen all of "" new york stories , "" but have heard the first two films , by scorsese and francis ford coppola are crap ( i saw woody's one , which was hilarious but not totally up to par ) . but i will rate each film individually and then report back to you on the overal average score of the film . 
exposition : a simple one - a bellhop , ted ( the totally overdone tim roth , who's a god and all , but not in this one , though he has a couple good moments ) is working on new year's eve for his first shift ( ! ! ! ) in an old fancy hotel . 
he's the only one there ( again : ! ! ! ) and he only has a couple rooms ( yet again : ! ! ! ) . 
the old bellhop ( the seemingly immortal marc lawrence - who hated pulp fiction actually ) hands over his cap to ted and he goes to his job happily . 
as the night goes on , he becomes increasingly annoyed and hostile . 
yea . 
 ( the short films are presented in order , btw ) : 
the missing ingredient writer/director : allison anders starring : sammi davis , amanda decadenet , valeria golino , madonna , ione skye , lili taylor , alicia witt 
this one starts it off horribly with no plot , no intrigue , and crap dialogue . 
the situation is so terrible that it's physically painful to watch . 
the plot has something to do with a coven of witches needing sperm to bring back a godess who is ( gasp ! ) 
stuck inside some object in their hotel room . 
the witch that was supposed to bring it ( ione skye ) calls up ted and asks him if she can perform fellatio on him to get it . 
yeah , that's what i said . 
stupid plot , inane characters who aren't interesting at all , etc , etc , etc . the only good thing about this is it has a good cast which , in turn , it wastes pitifully . 
not even actually funny for a second . 
my rating ( out of 5 ) : no stars ! ! ! ! 
the wrong man writer/director : alexandre rockwell starring : david proval , jennifer beals and laurence bender 
another bad little film with another stupid sex thing going on . 
ted stumbles into the wrong room or something and gets in the middle of a couple ( david proval and jennifer beals in her attempt at "" coming back "" ) who are playing sex games . 
ted tries to escape and we cheer him on so it will end soon . 
but at least this has a bit of comedy in it , just not that much . 
and david proval has never overacted as much . 
and it's "" pulp fiction "" producer laurence bender who gets to puke from a window . 
a masterpiece compared to the first one , but still . . . 
the misbehavers writer/director : robert rodriguez starring : antonio banderes , tamlyn tomita , lana mckissack , danny verduzco , salma hayek 
would a robert rodriguez film be the same without salma hayek's navel ? 
nope . 
luckily she's on the tv dancing so we get to see her . 
surprisingly enough , when i read the screenplay ( about a year before actually seeing it ) , this one seemed to have the most potential . 
it was fast-paced , funny , and well , funny . 
but when i watched it , it seemed anti-climactic and only seemed to gain any momentum towards the end when everything happened at once . 
antonio overacts nicely and the two kids ( lana and danny ) are funny . 
but , as i said , it moves slowly and in that way , it's more painful than funny . 
but the ending was stupid and funny at the same time . 
oh ! 
the plot : antonio is a supposed gangster ( assumed , really ) who leaves his two troubling kids home while he and his wife ( tomita ) go out to get drunk at a new year's party . 
antonio hires ted for a couple bucks to watch his kids all night long , but things go wrong . . . it 
was okay . 
the man from hollywood writer/director : quentin tarantino starring : quentin tarantino , bruce willis , paul calderon and jennifer beals ( again ) 
ironically , this one could be considered the best for a bad reason : it best represents what quentin has done with this film . 
he plays chester , a spoiled brat actor or something who has just had a huge box-office hit on his hands and is living it up by playing an anti-climactic game from a hitchcock tv episode starring steve mcqueen and peter lorre where they gamble to see if one of them can get light from his lighter ten times in a row . 
they're drunk and need sober but nervous ted to hold the cleaver and bring it down if the lighter doesn't light . 
they also pay him a lot of cash . 
this is so much exactly what this little film is about that it's campy . 
tim roth was probably payed a lot of money to do this stupid part in this stupid film made by a bunch of people who are high on themselves 'cause they've had hits , major or minor . 
it took quentin to realize that . 
but the thing is , it doesn't seem like he realizes that . 
if he did , i'd give this a good 3 stars . 
but this sucked . 
it was anti-climactic and the dialogue wasn't very good . 
he starts off with a very long steadicam shot then goes to flashes . 
that makes no sense . 
it's cool for a while , then he makes it uneven . 
it's long and it's just not very good . 
hopefully quentin never repeats what he did with this one . 
conclusion : what's the moral here ? 
if you've made celebrated films , don't do an ensemble piece . 
they should have re-watched "" new york stories "" and then stopped in their tracks . 
none of these have any point to them and they're embarrassing to not only the writer/directors , but to the actors 'cause they're working with crap . 
but i will forgive everyone involved and i especially look forward to quentin's next directing job ( even though he and rodriguez jumped back to the top immeadiately with the cool "" from dusk till dawn , "" which i found exhilerating ) . 
i love quentin and i suppose it's good he made "" the man from hollywood "" because it makes him seem more realistic and not some "" god of cinema . "" 
i seem to respect directors if they aren't "" gods "" and are actually human beings who make mistakes . 
 "" the man from hollywood "" is his big mistake and let's hope he doesn't return her continuously . 
"
"-1","you don't need to have seen the original "" species "" to appreciate how utterly lousy "" species ii "" is . 
with few exceptions , sequels tend to be worse than the films that spawned them , but the fact that "" species ii "" is a follow-up isn't the only reason it's so miserable . 
it's the predictable storyline , the cardboard characters , the banal dialogue , the failed attempts at humor , the revolting special effects , the gratuitous nudity ( all female , of course ) , the bad acting , and the bland direction . 
the plot , simply geared at getting the alien species back on planet earth so that it can reak some more havoc , involves three astronauts landing on mars and inadvertently bringing some alien slime in a soil sample back aboard their shuttle . 
the slime , well , sort of jumps out at them and the screen turns black . 
that should have been the end of the movie right there . 
back on terra firma , at least one of the crew is now a carrier of alien dna and , as you'll remember if you saw the first movie , driven by a strong urge to procreate . 
on a parallel track , government scientists have cloned a version of sil from the first film ( now called eve , again "" played "" by natasha henstridge ) and are keeping her around for some testing . 
this , apparently , includes observing eve's reaction to "" the dukes of hazzard "" tv show , which she appears to enjoy . 
eve's bio-rhythms go off the scale each time one of her kinfolk "" mates , "" which we are forced to witness in gross-out detail , but otherwise there doesn't appear to be a whole lot of reason why henstridge is in this film , unless it was written into her contract ( let's hope it cited one sequel and one sequel only ) . 
eve finally breaks free of her confines--and her bra--for the finale , but the effects are so messy you can't really see what's going on . 
peter boyle is totally wasted as an institutionalized scientist who screams "" i told 'em not to go ! "" 
at the top of his lungs , referring to the mars mission but more likely aimed at the makers of this piffle . 
michael madsen reprises his role of press lennox ( so that he can enter high security areas , flash a badge and claim to be press , maybe ? ) , as does marg helgenberger as dr . laura baker , the one subjecting eve to the tv reruns . 
they're both unbelievably wooden . 
what's a talented filmmaker like peter medak ( "" the ruling class , "" "" the krays , "" "" let him have it "" ) doing directing this tripe , i wonder . 
it's an unfortunate trend , this : once-talented directors throwing in the towel and lending their names to unchallenging horror flicks like "" species ii . "" 
last year peter hyams gave us "" the relic "" ; no thanks necessary there . 
and the first "" species "" was helmed by roger donaldson who , although certainly no genius behind the camera , had demonstrated much better judgment with his previous choice of projects . 
is it just that there are no better offers out there ? 
 "" species ii "" is worthless . 
worse than that , it's also exploitative , offensive , and insulting to the intelligence at every turn . 
it's not that there isn't anything positive to say about the film . 
there is . 
after 92 minutes , it ends . 
"
"-1"," "" something is fishy in the state of universal . "" 
about ten years back , with the unexpected success of mad max and the road warrior , post-apocalypse nitty-gritty survival yarns became popular at the movies . 
we've always had movies of this nature ; on the beach , the end of the world , damnation alley , the ultimate warrior , and so on . 
to date , the most smoothly done were straightforward "" haircuts "" of the classic western plot , like the lone gunman who comes to town and protects the widow and the son against an evil organization , usually one in possession of some critical resource , like water , feed range , or a mining claim . 
most of these grew out of venerable , but solid hero yarns like the virginian and shane . 
 ( my personal favorite is a patrick swayze movie called steel dawn , which was fairly well made on a small budget . ) 
now we have waterworld , which again brings the traditional lone gunman to town to rescue the young widow and her daughter . 
 ( well , she's not a widow , and the kid isn't her daughter , but you get the idea . ) 
the lady is helen , played by the stunning jean tripplehorn , who isn't given a chance to be stunning , or even interesting , by the mediocre and unimaginative script . 
the child enola , played by tina majorino , is living proof that a child actor need not be a bad thing to have in a movie ; she outshines her material all the way through . 
in simple , the scene is earth , hundreds of years from now . 
the polar ice caps have melted , and somehow produced enough water to inundate the entire planet . 
the few remaining people live in boats and floating colonies , and survive by trade , theft , or piracy . 
somehow an oil tanker has survived the centuries , and its inhabitants , called "" smokers , "" are able to keep gasoline engines running despite the dearth of replacement parts and raw materials , so the bad guys have outboard engines , and fast-moving boats , airplanes , and jet skis . 
enola , found at sea as a young girl , has a mysterious map no one can read tattooed on her back . 
we suspect early on that it is the way to the mythical "" dryland , "" the place where trees , crops , and animals grow , and what plot there is hinges on who has enola . 
the psycho ruler of the smokers , the "" deacon , "" is trying to get her and find his way to dryland . 
played with typical self-lampooning , rug-chewing histrionics by dennis hopper , "" deacon "" is the only thing in the movie that's close to amusing . 
his performance is * almost * laughable , but there just isn't enough there to be funny . 
the star ( and a co-producer ) is kevin costner . 
he's playing an un-named lone denizen of the sea , a man called the "" mariner , "" who turns out to be a gilled , water-breathing mutant with webbed feet . 
very little is done with this . 
the script ignores the ineffectuality of gills in supplying enough oxygen to support a human metabolism ; it ignores the fact that even with both ice caps completely melted , much of the earth's surface would still be above water ; and it ignores the blatant impossibility of the cultures and technology shown . 
 ( canned meat does * not * last for centuries ; ammunition does * not * fire after it's more than a few decades old ; and so on , and so on . . . ) 
i'm quite fond of tina majorino's previous work , very impressed by jean tripplehorn's past accomplishments , and still speechless over costner's dances with wolves . 
but this movie could destroy the careers of anyone associated with it ! 
this movie cost one hundred and eighty-two million dollars , and there's * nothing * in it we haven't seen before , done better on only a few percent of the cost of this turkey . 
at 125 minutes of material , this movie cost over one point four million dollars per minute to make . 
the budget of this movie * could * have given us over thirty movies ; it could have paid for six years of a prime-time sf tv series with expensive fx work , or ten years of an sf tv series with good digital fx . 
in sum , this movie is beneath contempt . 
it has nothing new to offer , it has a script that could easily have been bettered by the people who write comic books for dc , and it spent more money than the national budget of a small nation . 
if you * have * to go see it , see it on a four-dollar matinee . 
otherwise you'll find yourself sneering at you every time you pass a reflective surface , for weeks . 
"
"-1","this season needs another serial killer movie like kathie lee gifford needs more public devastation . 
but lo and behold , here comes "" switchback , "" and fast on the heels of such stalker fare as "" kiss the girls "" and "" i know what you did last summer . "" 
but "" switchback "" is an undoubtedly weak genre entry , as the material it covers is old and tired , and the filmmakers rarely sustain enough energy to make any of the proceedings interesting . 
 "" switchback "" opens with the murder of a babysitter and the abduction of the young child she's watching . 
we learn late in the game that the kid belongs to fbi agent frank lacrosse ( dennis quaid ) , and that the kidnapper/killer is a nameless fiend that lacrosse has been tracking across the country for quite a while . 
he is promptly removed from the case , but this conflict of interest doesn't keep him from offering pursuit . 
lacrosse's most recent trek takes him to a blood-soaked hotel room in amarillo , texas , where the local sheriff ( r . lee ermey ) is torn between his re-election campaign and helping his new ally catch his man . 
in a related aside , former railway worker bob goodall ( danny glover ) is cruising through the snowbound west in his pinup-plastered ( even on the seatbelts ) el dorado . 
along the way , he picks up -- and subsequently saves the life of -- hitchhiking loner lane dixon ( jared leto ) . 
this tangent isn't a random one , as bob or lane will end up either holding a piece of the puzzle or turn out to be the killer himself . 
or is the villain in fact lacrosse , only pretending to be after the cold-hearted murderer he knows so much about . 
in a sense , that's half of the basic problem with "" switchback . "" 
for its first hour , the movie presents evidence that any of these three men could be the perpetrator , so we're given little insight into who they are , likely for fear that we'll learn too much too fast and therefore be able to make the proper deduction . 
but "" switchback "" then decides to explicitly reveal the killer's identity at its midpoint , and the following contradictory character motivations muddle both the pacing and the generation of suspense . 
some of the acting is a burdensome area as well , probably because the performers were instructed to build personas that are the exact opposite of their true selves . 
what is danny glover doing here , grinning and yeehawing his way through the messy plot ? 
and dennis quaid ? 
 ( that monotone -- stop it ! ) 
ermey is solid in a supporting role that's more interesting than the two leads thrown together , but the charismatic leto ( claire danes' object of affection in "" my so-called life "" ) is a scene-stealer tried and true . 
>from a material standpoint , "" switchback "" is pretty empty . 
but even when first-time director jeb stuart ( who wrote "" the fugitive "" and "" die hard "" ) doesn't know what to do , he knows what he wants it to look like -- the movie provides some great visuals . 
the set-on-a-train climax looks good ( even though the action is illogical ) , and the beautiful , crisp cinematography captures the rockies in all of their icy splendor . 
still , that's not enough to turn a lump of coal into a diamond , and more than the movie's look will end up leaving you cold . 
"
"-1","plot : a separated , glamorous , hollywood couple must pretend to reunite for a press junket of the last movie that they ever shot together . 
kewl . . . now 
i only wish that i could pretend never to have seen this movie . . . 
critique : trite , unfunny , boring and a waste of everyone's talent . 
how a premise with such zest and bite can turn into a movie that doesn't feature any chemistry , any real laughs , any surprises or any spice is beyond me . 
how julia roberts is used solely as a "" puppy dog "" character , puttering around in the background while we endure the complete bitchiness of zeta-jones' character , who is not one bit funny or romantic ( two ideal ingredients in a "" romantic comedy "" ) , is also beyond me . 
and why they chose john cusack , a great , quirky actor in his own right , to play the most bland , uninteresting and unfetching character ( with zero chemistry with either of his leads ) is further more , beyond me . 
and to anybody who decided that this project was "" funny "" enough to greenlight featuring the talents mentioned above , along with billy crystal , christopher walker , seth green and stanley tucci . . . well , 
what can i say . . . i 
just don't have the words . 
so is this the worst movie that i've seen all year ? 
no . but it definitely sucks and it's basically because . . . well , 
it's just not funny . 
and for the record , allow me to state a few more problems with it . 
it starts off slow , it's got no energy , it doesn't engage you with any of its characters ( julia barely gets somewhat interesting in the film , everyone else . . . lame ! ) , it utilizes way too many flashbacks to move the story forward , it's utterly predictable , standard , routine , see-through and uninteresting as a plot and it just sits there on the screen , big and ugly , waiting . . . waiting for you to laugh or find something in it that is amusing . 
and then hank azaria shows up . . . aaaaaah , the film's savior ( mind you , some might be offended by his exaggeration of a stereotype , but that's another story altogether ) . 
but when an experienced "" voice "" actor upstages all of the main stars in a summer "" blockbuster "" romantic comedy with an over-the-top antonio banderas accent , damn dude . . . your 
film's in trouble ! ! 
rent this movie on video just to see what went wrong yourself . 
the references to ricky ricardo and senor wences ( huh ! ? ) , the idio-plot points like when one of the characters goes on the roof to stretch his arms out and relax , but everyone believes that he's going to kill himself ( hardy-har-har ) and the cheap way of getting the audience to leave the theater laughing by bringing back a ball-sniffing dog that has no place being in the location at the end of the movie , well . . . i 
could go on . 
but i won't because i do still respect all of the actors in this film and actually did laugh at azaria , green and tucci's antics from time to time ( ironic , eh . . . what 
about the leads , dammit ! ) and liked the premise behind the film ( before i saw the finished product , of course ) . 
a dud all the way around . 
btw , all the talk about this film was that julia roberts was to be in a fat suit for one scene ( her character is supposed to have lost 60 pounds ) , so when the scene finally came , i did get a little excited about what it might look like and then . . . well , 
it basically just looked like julia roberts in a fat suit ! 
ugh . 
i think i'm gonna start drinking again after this lame-ass movie . 
c'mon hollywood , enough with the crud ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
beautiful ( 1/10 ) - my best friend's wedding ( 7/10 ) - notting hill ( 5/10 ) - pretty woman ( 7/10 ) -runaway bride ( 5/10 ) - someone like you ( 4/10 ) - wedding planner ( 3/10 ) - when harry met sally ( 10/10 ) - you've got mail ( 4/10 ) 
"
"-1","some talented actresses are blessed with a demonstrated wide acting range while others , almost as gifted , have more limited types of parts for which they are suitable . 
as was amply evident after basic instinct , sharon stone can play sensual roles with great abandon . 
rejecting her natural abilities , she has spent the rest of her entire career trying with little success to play against type . 
gloria is her latest disaster . 
babe ruth didn't quit baseball after one season to play football in a quixotic quest to prove his athletic dexterity , and neither should stone reject what she does best . 
janeane garofalo , for example , is no less wonderful an actress because she could have never pulled off stone's part in basic instinct ; neither is stone any less talented because she couldn't do garofalo's comedic roles . 
gloria , directed by respected director sidney lumet and adapted by steve antin from the 1980 screenplay by john cassavetes , was not screened in advance for critics , almost always a sign that the studio isn't behind the picture . 
after seeing it in a nearly empty audience after it opened , it is clear why they held it from the press . 
it is a film more to be endured than enjoyed . 
as the story opens , an angry gloria ( stone ) is being released from prison after 3 years confinement . 
she's got a bad attitude and a big mouth . 
she also has a bad case of wavering and overblown new york accents , a disease suffered by much of the rest of the cast . 
an annoying child actor named jean-luke figueroa plays a soon-to-be orphan named nicky . 
just before his whole family is gunned down by hoods working for gloria's ex-boyfriend kevin ( jeremy northam ) , nicky's dad gives him a banana yellow floppy disk with secrets about kevin's operation and offers him a piece of fatherly advice . 
 "" be a man , "" his father lectures him sternly . 
 "" don't trust nobody . 
not no broads . 
nobody . "" 
most of the film's leaden dialog is delivered with the emotive power of the automated time and temperature announcements . 
add in the movie's almost non-existent background noise and the excruciatingly slow pacing , and you can hear the sounds of the lines falling to the ground like stones . 
lumet places his actors in the frames like fruit in a still life painting . 
they stand awkwardly mouthing the stiff sentences that pass for discourse . 
 ( "" say you're my baby , "" kevin coos demandingly . 
 "" i'm not gonna , "" gloria pouts back . ) 
the movie has a plethora of logical flaws and implausibilites . 
the kid rarely seems the least bit worried or scared , no matter how many people are after him with guns , trying to kill him . 
and in one key scene , the yellow floppy he holds is assumed to be the right disk without checking it and is further assumed never to have been copied . 
gloria , who keeps saying how she hates kids , takes nicky under her wing and protects him from kevin and the bad guys . 
think her maternal instincts will show up before the movie finally and predictably ends ? 
if you don't know the answer , you may be just the right viewer for this film . 
you have to say this for stone : she can keep a straight face . 
when explaining life to a 7-year-old kid , she says with utter seriousness , "" you got a lot of love making to make ; you got a lot of boozing to do . "" 
gloria runs 1 : 48 . 
it is rated r for profanity , violence and brief male nudity and would be acceptable for teenagers . 
"
"-1","susan granger's review of "" ghosts of mars "" ( sony pictures entertainment ) 
horror auteur john carpenter ( "" halloween , "" "" vampires "" ) strikes out with this sci-fi eco-fable that's so bad it boggles the mind to imagine how the project ever got green-lit . 
the script by carpenter and larry sulkis appears to have been lifted directly from last year's "" pitch black , "" involving a violent prisoner who must be released from bondage so that he can help a small band of humans protect themselves from blood-thirsty , marauding aliens . 
in the year 2176 , there are 640 , 000 earthlings on mars , living in a matriarchal society led by a commander , played by pam grier . 
grier , pill-poppin' natasha henstridge , and some rookie mars police officers ( clea duvall , jason statham ) travel to the remote mining town of shining canyon to fetch "" desolation "" williams - that's ice cube - to bring him back to chryse city to stand trial for murder . 
but when they're besieged by demented , zombie-like , body-snatching miners , they readily free the scowling ice cube since they need him for protection . 
it seems a red cloud was released from a shining canyon cave and , soon after , most of the miners went bonkers as long-dormant remnants of an ancient martian civilization took over their minds and bodies , lopping off heads as "" vengeance for anything that tries to lay claim to their planet , "" according to a scientist ( joanna cassidy ) . 
carpenter uses so many flashbacks to tell the "" night of the living dead "" -like story that the idiotic plot gets incomprehensibly confusing . 
but you can easily predict each of the supporting characters who will be killed , along with the order of their elimination . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" ghosts of mars "" thuds to a laborious , bottom-of-the-barrel 1 . 
perhaps , indeed , there is a curse on mars films , if you recall two other duds : "" mission to mars "" and "" red planet . "" 
"
"-1","plot : based on the wildly popular "" jerry springer "" tv show , this movie follows the lives of two groups of people before they make their bizarre appearances on the infamous program . 
one posse comes from the trailer parks and are to be featured in the "" i slept with my stepfather "" segment , and the other is based on some fly-girl whose girlfriends keep sleeping with her undevoted "" dog "" boyfriend . 
critique : the truth is that if i didn't have a day job , i would probably watch the real "" jerry springer "" show every day . 
i find it quite entertaining , despite its complete lack of redeeming value . 
having said that , the show itself is outrageous , funny , and always filled with goofy surprises , as opposed to this film which features no laughs ( is this a comedy or a drama ? ) , uninteresting and completely unbelievable one-dimensional stereotypes , and a contrived plot which bores us stupid all the way . 
i never thought i would utter the word boring in the same sentence as jerry springer , but this film is an absolute yawn-fest , despite offering various scenes featuring simulated blowjobs , lesbians , t&a and tv violence ( who would've guessed that ? ) . 
i wish they would have either a ) made this movie much , much funnier , or b ) turned it into a complete drama and given us a real perspective as to why people like this actually put themselves through these public forums of embarrassment . 
unfortunately , it doesn't seem as though screenwriter jon bernstein spent more than a drunken weekend watching real "" jerry springer "" reruns to complete his script , leaving us with a boring film , featuring no laughs , one-dimensional characters , and no fun whatsoever . 
little known facts about this film and its stars : jerry springer used to be the mayor of cincinnati , ohio . 
for this film , he won the 1999 razzie award for worst new star , tied with joe esterhas from an alan smithee film : burn hollywood burn . 
"
"-1","i never understood what the clich ? "" hell on earth "" truly meant until very recently . 
i've just never experienced anything in my life which was so terrifying , so horrible , so monstrously deplorable that it justified being termed as "" hell on earth "" . 
after all , i've never been to war , i've never been the victim of any violent crime , i've never really been broken hearted , and i've never been audited ; so i really had no frame of reference as to people meant when they said that something was "" hell on earth "" 
then i saw cruel intentions . 
in a perfect world , i would be in charge of all the movie studios . 
the very first thing i'd do in this perfect world , would be to take every hollywood producer who thinks that setting any story in contemporary america with a 20-something cast playing teenagers and featuring a soundtrack ripped directly from mtv , and throw them in jail . 
but it wouldn't just be your average jail , not even a maximum security installation . 
i'd have these producers ( and everyone else involved in the production of these films ) put in front of a war crimes tribunal and forced to beg for mercy for their crimes against humanity . 
now you're probably thinking to yourself : "" is this really how bad cruel intentions is ? "" 
the answer is no . 
it's actually much worse . 
watching the cast of this motion picture atrocity try to act their way through roger kumble's awfully written script is probably a lot like stabbing yourself in the arm with a chainsaw and then pouring salt on the open wound . 
and then pouring acid on the salt . 
i don't know if kumble was trying to evoke comedy or tragedy out of his opening scene where marci greenbaum ( tara reid ) whines about having nude photos of her posted on the internet , but the only emotion i felt was sheer boredom . 
from that opening scene , where boring actor ryan phillippe tries to seduce tv actress swoosie kurtz , to the conclusion which i don't remember because i had practically fallen asleep ; cruel intentions is truly "" hell on earth , "" right up there with war and tax audits . 
"
"-1","about an hour or so into "" the jackal , "" a character wandered around as people were being shot at in a big suspense sequence , and one of the audience members in the theatre i saw it in shouted out "" i hope she gets killed now ! "" 
at that point it hit me : i didn't care for any of the characters being played by actors i didn't really like . 
when the sole reason you care about a character being played by sidney poitier in a suspense film is because he's being played by sidney poitier , you know something's rotten in the state of denmark . 
every year , a couple films like this are released . 
you know : the cheap , action packed international espionnage film , featuring a semi-promising premise , some big-name actors ( usually bruce willis ) , and the hopes that some audience members will forget the cold war ended several years ago . 
this was the third one of '97 , following the very lackluster "" the saint , "" which featured an amoral costume changing bond wannabe ; and the surprisingly fun "" the peacemaker , "" featuring clooney and kidman trying to stop an almost untraceable villain . 
 "" the jackal "" tries to mix both elements . 
and you thought "" the saint "" was bad . 
 "" the jackal "" is loosely ( very loosely , i hope ) based on the 1973 fred zimmerman classic that i've yet to see , "" the day of the jackal , "" which featured ( apparently ) a suave hitman called the jackal , played by edward fox , trying to assasinate charles degaule . 
well , welcome to the 90s , where a sorta suave hitman , also called the jackal ( bruce willis ) , trying to kill the head of the fbi . . . or 
is he ? 
after being hired by a russian mob lord as a bit of vengeance for the murder of his brother ( killed in the opening scenes ) , the jackal romps all over the northen hemisphere , from helsinki to virginia , setting up an elaborate scheme wherein he'll be able to assasinate this person and still get away to live in seclusion . 
and like the saint , the jackal changes his look over and over and over again to elude people . 
the agent working on the case , cater preston ( sidney poitier - yes , that sidney poitier ) , working with a russian agent , valentina koslova ( diane venora - lady capulet from "" romeo + juliet "" ) , gives up early on and meets with an ex-ira man , declan mulqueen ( richard gere , putting up some tight competition between himself and brad pitt for worst fake irish accent of '97 ) who's in a massachusetts jail , but who has apparently seen the jackal , who has been eluding the law forever . 
soon , he's out working with the two untrusting agents , and trying to help them catch him . 
there are numerous problems with the film , and which one is the biggest one is pretty impossible to put a finger on . 
the film is supposed to be a big suspense thriller , but save a couple moments , the film never achieves suspense , or even a sense of intrigue . 
sure , the big assasination attempt is a bit cool looking and even slightly tense , but every other scene in the film is too short and too dull to register . 
the film never picks up enough to become a thrilling experience , or even an entertaining one . 
it doesn't help that the plot is designed to be complex , but falls into so many problems , like plot holes and unbelievable circumstances . 
the script of "" the jackal "" is a complete mess , mostly because it can't decide what it wants to focus on . 
is this a film about a man trying to find redemption by catching a nasty killer ? 
is it a film about a nasty , amoral hitman who's in everything for the money ? 
or is it a combination of both ? 
 "" the jackal "" aims for the latter , but never focuses in on either character . 
the connection between the two feels completely edited , so much that in a scene when the jackal turns around and notices declan , you wonder how he recognized him so fast . 
the worst part is the little past they try to give declan , most notably his relationship with an old girlfriend , isabella ( mathilda may ) , given so little screen time that you almost forget her character exists until she pops up every now and then . 
the supporting characters are worse . 
sidney poitier is given a completely unplayable role , that of a man who is just stern sometimes , and other times more giving and likable . 
what is poitier doing here ? 
he's one of the best living actors ! 
does he really need to waste his time doing drivel like this ? 
diane venora's russian character is almost as bad , with a cigarette perpetually in her mouth , and a plastered on expressionless facade . 
it's not that anyone's bad here ; it's that they have nothing to do . 
the plot is a joke , feeling like it was pasted together by someone in post-production who dropped each scene on the floor and pasted them together quickly so it could be released on time . 
the jackal himself is not even much of an international villain . 
there are several times where he's in a tight situation and makes things worse for himself , the only explanation being that the filmmakers wanted to toss in a cheap thrill . 
take a scene where he's being followed by some agents into a parking garage : he quickly sprays his car another color , and adds a solvent that if touched kills the person who touched it . 
doesn't killing someone attract more attention than it does distract ? 
and does he think dying his hair bottle blond makes him fit in in a public place ? 
geez ! 
is there anything good here ? 
well . . . a 
couple things . 
i did like willis's icy expressions ; he may not have been real suave or anything , but some of his looks are worth a chuckle . 
richard gere has a couple of good moments , making his character as likable as he possibly could have . 
and a couple sequences are kicky in that kind of proposterous , completely inane but fun kinda way , most notably : a sequence where he tests out a new gun on an annoying gun builder ( jack black ) ; and a bit where he seduces a gay washington man , which has its share of a couple good jokes , most particular a kiss by willis . 
but none of these elevate the film any higher than it could go ; they're just little distractions along the way to amuse us mildly then toss us back into the world of dullness and stupidity that is "" the jackal . "" 
director michael caton-jones ( who directed the far superior "" rob roy "" ) has made a film that is made very couple months , one that is unentertaining , unintriguing , and pretty much cold , but will nevertheless make money because , hey , the trailers do make it look like it may be fun in that kind of retro-clancy kinda way . 
every now and then , the filmmakers get it right ( "" clear and present danger , "" which was enormous fun in that smart kinda way ) , but "" the jackal "" is an example of when they go completely wrong . 
"
"-1"," "" showgirls "" is the first big-budget , big-studio film to receive an nc-17 rating . 
and its release last year came at a time when senator bob dole and other politicans chastised the entertainment industry for promoting sex and violence . 
but if "" showgirls "" is any indication of hollywood's future , the folks in washington should focus their attack on a more dangerous threat to american values--bad moviemaking . 
 "" showgirls "" is a relentlessly exploitive look at the las vegas strip scene , and the film turns out to be just as trashy as its subject matter . 
director paul verhoeven and writer joe eszterhas , who collaborated on another shock-value project , 1992's "" basic instinct , "" follow the plight of a young woman ( teen tv star elizabeth berkley ) determined to make a name for herself as a topless dancer . 
it's a hackneyed premise to begin with , so not surprisingly , all of the stock characters are trucked out . 
there's the demanding producer . 
the loyal friend . 
the bitchy competitor . 
lest i forget the scummy club owner . 
of course , any attempt at character development or a coherent storyline is just window dressing for the film's main attraction--an endless parade of full-frontal nudity . 
unfortunately , "" showgirls "" doesn't satisfy in this department . 
verhoeven's slam-bang , in-your-face style of direction proves neither arousing nor erotic . 
to make matters worse , you'll be forced to sit through the movie's clothed scenes , which don't cover up for laughable acting and some of the most absurd dialogue ever spoken in film history . 
verhoeven and ezsterhas deserve credit for trying to break ground , but if it's adult entertainment you want , stay home and watch the playboy channel . 
you'll be the wiser for it . 
"
"-1","here's a concept -- jean-claude van damme gets killed within the first ten minutes of the movie . 
now if that isn't enough to get you to finally see a van damme movie , i don't know what is . 
all sarcasm aside , it is certainly a different way to start a movie , of course a few minutes later we find out that the newly deceased had a twin brother -- so lucky us , we get to see more of jean-claude . 
van damme #1 works for the russian mafia in the united states and is killed by some of their operatives . 
van damme #2 is a police officer in france who finds out that he had a twin brother he never knew about after #1 gets killed in france . 
the remaining twin ( the french cop ) goes to the united states to find out who killed his brother and avenge his death . 
once there , he hooks up with his deceased brother's girlfriend , played by natasha henstridge , and the two of them set out to discover who the murderers are . 
jean-claude's acting abilities don't seem to be up to the usual lackluster standards in this movie . 
in other words , just in case you missed the sarcasm , his acting is worse than normal . 
on the upside , natasha henstridge is in this film , and she does what she did best in species -- she gets naked . 
sadly , this is probably the high point in the movie . 
she is actually a decent actress , but didn't improve as much as i thought she would after species . 
this is the typical van damme movie , with jean-claude doing a variety of high end martial arts moves on his opponents . 
nothing new here , and certainly nothing we haven't seen in every other van damme movie . 
simply put , there is absolutely nothing new about this movie . 
it has a retread plot -- this isn't the first time jean-claude has played twins . 
he still can't act . 
we all saw natasha's breasts in species ( although this is one repeat performance i'm not complaining about ) . 
this is pretty much like every movie that van damme has ever been involved in -- sub par . 
"
"-1","what makes reindeer games even more disappointing than just a predictable , lifeless action flick is the cast and crew who signed onto the project . 
most of the people involved in reindeer games just came off terrible slumps with excellent comeback performances in their most recent films . 
john frankenheimer , who made the unforgettable cold war drama the manchurian candidate way back in the early 60's , recently showed critics and fans alike that he still had some magic left in his directorial skills when he created the brilliant car chase scenes in ronin . 
screenwriter ehren kruger gave a remarkable first impression when he wrote the script for the underrated arlington rd . 
ben affleck displayed his comedic talents in dogma and boiler room , and even on saturday night live directly after the horrible forces of nature and 200 cigarettes . 
even charlize theron , who i was convinced couldn't act , did a decent job in cider house rules . 
when all of these bright stars come together , one would assume that the movie will have great potential to be entertaining . 
after coming out of the theater showing reindeer games , disbelief was my first reaction ? then frustration . 
the movie could have premiered on cinemax at two in the morning starring an all-rookie cast and still would have been equally lacking in entertaining . 
the acting is so pitiful and the script so dull , i may have to rethink some of my opinions on how talented these actors actually are . 
it seemed like everyone was restricted to just the script and not given a fair amount of improvisational rights . 
we have all seen ben affleck have some fun on the set , it is so apparent in a number of scenes in good will hunting when he exchanges jokes with his friends at a bar . 
the actors in that movie were having fun and , from that , the audience had fun . 
reindeer games is the complete opposite ; the actors don't seem to want to be their characters ( even danny trejo , who will do practically anything , doesn't look like he is enjoying himself ) , causing the audience to quickly lose interest . 
evidence of public disapproval was noted when a woman behind me yelled "" boy this movie is horrible ! "" 
and when there were scattered giggles during the most dramatic moments . 
the story follows a man , rudy ( ben affleck ) , who is leaving prison in a few days along with his best friend and cellmate nick ( james frain ) . 
nick has been exchanging love letters with a beautiful woman , ashley ( charlize theron ) , and cannot wait to leave prison and meet her in person . 
when nick is killed in a prison riot , rudy decides to pretend to be nick and take ashley out on a date for the christmas holidays . 
unfortunately ashley's brother , gabriel ( gary sinise ) interferes with their relationship . 
thinking rudy is nick , he kidnaps rudy and threatens to kill him unless he helps rob a casino , which nick use to work at as a security guard . 
now rudy must pretend to be nick so he can protect ashley from her brother gabriel . 
confused ? 
the movie only gets more complex as it goes on , until it gets way , way too complex at its climax . 
but reindeer games makes its first serious mistake during the first half an hour . 
the hero commits a greedy , selfish act when he decides to pretend he is his dead cellmate in order to date ashley . 
some hero . 
the point of a hero is to do the morally correct thing , a person for the audience to relate to or admire . 
when rudy lies and cheats his way into trouble , instead of gathering support from me for him to ultimately succeed in getting the bad guys , i felt more like he was getting what he deserved and even wanted to see him fail at times . 
the most irritating part of the film ( besides the fact that this is a christmas movie released in february ) is the number of chances the bad guys get to kill rudy but fail or delay for some idiotic reason . 
the routine in which the bad guy must explain his genius plan to the hero before attempting to kill him with some elaborate machine is getting so tired nowadays , especially when i eagerly want to see the hero dead . 
the only saving grace keeping this movie from receiving zero stars is an amusing but pointless cameo from isaac hayes as a prisoner upset with his food . 
why he was in this movie for such a pointless role beats me . 
why any of these people had anything at all to do with this movie beats me . 
"
"-1"," ( dreamworks skg ) running time : 2 hours starring robert duvall , tea leoni and elijah wood directed by mimi leder the first of the two asteroid movies coming out this year ( the second is the macho armageddon ) is actually a dull affair . 
elijah wood plays leo biederman , who during astronomy class discovers that a large asteroid is heading for earth . 
tea leoni plays a ( rather crap ) news reporter , jenny lerner , who soon discovers about this asteroid through a very long winded and boring way , and robert duvall plays the leader of a space crew , spurgeon tanner , who are planning to blow the asteroid out of the path of earth . 
also featuring is morgan freeman as the president , and maximilian schell and vanessa redgrave as jenny's father and mother . 
while many people will walk into the film expecting a big special effects fest with the asteroid blowing everything up ( as the trailers seem to promise ) , the film is actually more of a character study , if a very poor one . 
the main problem is that there are too many characters in the film , and not enough time to explore them all . 
only the space crew are given any depth , jenny lerner , leo and the president are surprisingly 2d , and we never get to know these characters . 
and because i couldn't care for them , i didn't really give a crap if the asteroid killed them or not . 
the script by bruce joel rubin and michael tolkin is horribly simple , and never really makes any interesting statements . 
mimi leder , the former er director and director of the average the peacemaker ( 1996 ) , again directs in a ho-hum style , and never really gets any emotion out of a scene , which is a shame . 
the cast are seemingly on autopilot , although tea leoni does gives a rather good performance , even if she acts a bit too dorky for her own good . 
she seems uncommonly stupid for a journalist . 
robert duvall is on autopilot with a underwritten role , he just seems to be in this film for the money . 
elijah wood , one of the best child actors working today , is surprisingly average , although his choice of roles lately haven't exactly been brilliant ( i . e . 
flipper , 1996 ) . 
his role is also vastly underwritten . 
morgan freeman , again , is utterly wasted with a ridiculously underwritten role . 
like duvall , he just seems to be in the film for the money . 
the supporting cast are all o . k , none making much of an impression . 
ok , so deep impact may have messed up character wise , but surely the special effects are good ? 
well , yes and no . 
although the special effects should be impressive , with a massive tidal wave destroying new york , the special effects look like , well , special effects . 
sadly , the waves looks like it's been drawn on computer , and doesn't look too good at all . 
surprising really , when the effects are done by industrial light & magic , who did the effects for the lost world and twister . 
in the end , deep impact is a wasted opportunity . 
what could of been a moving movie with good effects turns out to be a dud in both characters and effects . 
the 2 hours the film had could have been used to much greater effect . 
once again , dreamworks has churned out another average movie . 
let's hope armageddon is a bit better . 
overall rating= review by david wilcock web space provided by geocities 
"
"-1","seen may 2 , 1998 at 3 : 40 p . m . at the crossgates cinema 18 , theater #13 , with chris wessell and sean o'shea for $5 . 
[theater rating : * * * 1/2 : very good sound , picture , and seats] 
the big-budget , mega-hype "" event "" movie is becoming so trendy now it is becoming a weekly routine instead of a seasonal one . 
gluttony is hollywood's favorite sin , but it is the movie-goers who pay the price by being dealt the same things over and over on an ever-worsening basis . 
 "" lost in space "" is the latest such offering - a film so poor it would be twice as good if it were mediocre . 
it's made up of every element of science fiction , but at no time does it evoke the slightest amount of wonderment the genre was meant for . 
audiences' attention spans are rapidly decreasing and as is the trend with such films , this one opens with a fast-paced space battle which serves not only as the most interesting scene in the film ( probably because it has "" star wars "" written all over it ) , but as the producers' way of showing off their budget through the special effects . 
battle scenes are worthless without tension , and since we have no idea what the setting is it's impossible to care about anything that happens . 
in essence , the entire segment works like a teaser for an arcade game , not a piece of filmmaking . 
we meet the robinson family - a family of five that does not get along but has been chosen to act on earth's behalf in effort to find another planet worthy of colonization due to the exhausting of our natural resources . 
each member of the family has a special trait and personality , and yet none of them seem like actual people . 
professor john robinson ( hurt ) is the intelligent , quiet leader who has devoted so much time to his work his family and marriage are suffering without his realizing it ( it's obvious what role this aspect will play ) . 
of course this is all established through extremely melodramatic scenes such as the children and parents arguing and bickering among themselves and with each other , while the necessary problems are "" resolved "" at the right moments . 
the only thing worse than the screenplay is the fact it's presented in a completely serious manner without a trace of satire , and is so pathetic it's laughable . 
the first act is not a building of a story , but a juxtaposition of scenes that serve no purpose other than to plug in all the required elements ( such as plot , conflict , and characterization - god forbid ! ) . 
we're provided with the minimum amount possible of these elements to keep the film from being completely silent . 
in fact , it might as well be since the dialogue is virtually non-existent . 
yes , the characters do speak , but they do not talk . 
they say things that only relate to the conflict , but they never really interact ( unless it's the cartoony flirting scenes between arrogant major don west ( leblanc ) and uptight , unemotional judy robinson ( graham ) ) . 
it's amazing that after an hour of trite dialogue and generic plot devices that so little happens . 
eventually the pacing rapidly increases , but the amount of genuine interest does not . 
the story finally gains some prospective by living up to its title as the robinsons find themselves lost in space after narrowly managing to defeat dr . smith ( oldman ) , the cartoony villain , and his plans for sabotage . 
what ensues is a series upon series of completely unrelated conflicts . 
the first such scene takes place on an abandoned spaceship and what ensues could best be described as "" alien "" -lite . 
the story changes again when the robinsons crash land on an alien planet and must act quickly to escape it and survive . 
but there's never any real notion of suspense here because the script constantly wanders aimlessly . 
plotlines are developed , but each becomes totally irrelevant as the story changes from scenario to scenario . 
the atmosphere attempts to be surreal by incorporating time travel and various time paradoxes , but it's presented in such a ridiculous way it's utterly boring . 
by the time the last act rolls around , there is no sense of a payoff building . 
the ending does not go out on a high note with any kind of climax , instead , it seems to come to a sudden halt ( but at least it ends at all ) . 
 "" lost in space "" is major film production at its worst . 
it's frightening that a film so poorly written , directed , and acted might be considered mainstream entertainment . 
"
"-1","the only thing worse than watching a bad movie is realizing that the film had a lot of potential and could've been effective . 
such is the case with _urban legend_ , the new horror film from first time director jamie blanks . 
the idea behind the movie is that the mad slasher of the film muders people according to various urban legends . 
examples include the killer in the backseat of the car and person getting calls from inside her house . 
the killer wears one of those l . l . bean parkas with the hood drawn completely up , so you can't see the face . 
i guess halloween masks are out of style for psychos these days . 
anyhow , the premise is certainly a nifty one and the opening scene is spooky and atmospheric . 
it's a very good setup that promises more chills to come . 
unfortunately , the film never takes off from there . 
the movie takes place on a peaceful new england college campus . 
like most slasher flicks , this one also centers around a young female main character whose friends are slowly killed off by a knife wielding maniac ( or in this case an axe wielding maniac ) . 
i've always wondered why these killers don't save themselves a lot of time and trouble and just go after the person they ultimately aim to kill . 
after the fine first scene , the movie degenerates into a monotonous series of those annoying you-thought-it-was-the-killer-but-was-just- someone-else scares . 
these are always accompanied by loud bursts of music . 
i guess sudden , sharp music chords are what passes for terror these days . 
the actual killer will attack at about every third music blast . 
the slasher appears , attacks , the victim is eviscerated , and the tedious cycle appears anew . 
false scares should always be used in moderation . 
someone needs to tell director blanks that things like this just aren't as scary as they used to be . 
this movie commits the biggest sin a horror film can commit--it's not frightening . 
remember the horror movie cliches that were so mercilessly mocked in _scream_ and _scream 2_ ? 
this movie still adheres to them . 
tons of illogical moments about ; more than i really have the inclination to list . 
and i don't mean illogical in the summer popcorn movie sense . 
that type of illogical can be fun . 
this film insults your intelligence more times than i care to remember . 
the last 20 minutes especially degenerates into such lunacy that you'll be laughing more than you'll be screaming . 
actually , you won't be screaming at all . 
at its best , the acting can barely be called "" adequate "" and the script could've definitely used a rewrite or two . 
the film still manages to have some strong points . 
the killings are certainly inventive and plentiful enough to satistfy most gore fans . 
there are some intentionally funny moments . 
 ( these were exceeded by the unintentional ones . ) 
the film is well made from a technical standpoint . 
besides the first part , there is also another good scene , a prolonged cat and mouse chase inside a radio station . 
if there had only been more sequences like this , that relied on tautness and suspense rather than loud bursts of music , _urban legend_ might've been worth your money . 
"
"-1","my opinion on a film can be easily swayed by the presence of actors i love . 
i love ralph fiennes . 
i love uma thurman . 
i love sean connery . 
hell , i'm even a big fan of jim broadbent and fiona shaw . 
i saw the fantastic preview for the avengers nearly eight months ago , and i've been eagerly awaiting the film ever since . 
a few months into the summer , however , i noticed that its release date had been changed a few times , and that it had ended up in the mid-august dumping ground . 
then , in this final week before its official release , i learned that it was not to be screened for critics . 
and that the actors had not been plugging the film on late night programs . 
and that it was directed by the same man who brought us the remake of diabolique . 
my expectations fell to pieces when i learned all of these things . 
the film i saw today didn't even meet those expectations . 
this is a lousy , incoherent mess . 
i would slam it harder , if it weren't for the nifty sets and the mere presence of all these fine , lovable actors . 
but sets are ultimately empty , and the performances are completely uninspired . 
that's the main problem with the avengers : for all it's hip-hop flash and tidal waves , none of it feels the least bit energetic or inspired . 
it's like a chore , a bland exercise in superhero film making . 
it also feels like its been cut to pieces , clocking in at 90 minutes and forgetting to close some of its own subplots . 
this is just plain depressing . 
the avengers is a film version of the popular 60s television show . 
frequent readers of mine will not be surprised to learn that i've never watched an episode . 
i wasn't alive then . 
i don't even watch television now . 
i'm very sorry that i don't have this perspective , but , judging from the reviews i've already read , knowing the tv show just makes matters worse . 
i didn't know and love john steed and emma peel , and therefore i was not as upset to see how these actors i love have managed to thrash their roles . 
i also doubt that familiarity with the series would allow me to understand more clearly the chain of events that do take place in this film . 
based on what the film told me , i gather that steed ( fiennes ) is some kind of british super guy ( somewhat like james bond ) , and that dr . peel ( thurman ) is just a really smart doctor , who also happens to know a lot about weather and about beating people up while limited by tight leather suits . 
they are to work together , under mother's orders ( mother is played by jolly jim broadbent , while his co-conspirator , father , is played by the equally-talented fiona shaw ) . 
it seems that there is a man out there controlling the weather . 
his name is de wynter ( connery ) . 
he is a crazy scottish guy . 
our heroes had better stop him , or else . 
 . 
 . 
the weather will keep getting colder until they "" have to go to hell to warm up "" ( one of the film's few funny lines ) . 
along the way there is subplot after subplot , hinged sloppily together by scenes that go nowhere , feel perfunctory , and ultimately make no sense . 
for example , our heroes are eventually attacked by a swarm of giant mechanical insects with machineguns attached to their torsos . 
now , killer bugs don't really go with the weather-controlling theme of the film . 
the purpose of the bugs , other than to annihilate our heroes , is never established . 
they're never even directly connected to de wynter ( they're controlled by his crazy henchman , played by eddie izzard ) . 
the special effects aren't bad , but they're loud , obnoxious , and intrusive . 
like so many scenes in the film , it seems present only to keep your attention from waning . 
and i guarantee you , it will wane . 
i stopped thinking about the story when i realized it didn't do any good to think . 
the avengers has clearly been chopped up and re-assembled so many times that even the people involved couldn't tell us what happens . 
there are several scenes in the preview that didn't make the final cut . 
in addition , many of the sequences have irritating , grainy film quality , which makes it feel low-budget ( the last scene is particularly bad ) . 
the scenes that don't feature action should be electric , thanks to our wonderful cast . 
they aren't . 
the action scenes should be electric , because this is an action film . 
they aren't , either . 
and what about this wasted cast ? 
oh , it makes me weep with disappointment . 
we're talking ralph fiennes here , one of the best actors working today , one of the best actors * ever * . 
i love the guy . 
i've loved all his films , until this one . 
he seems like he wants to understand the film , but he's as lost as we are . 
and thurman , in all of her spectacular beauty and talent , can't manage to look at home here . 
 ( i don't blame her completely , for there is a strange subplot involving her evil twin that is never explained in any way , and it can't be easy to deal with such terrible screenwriting . ) 
connery , however , seems the most out of it , totally lacking any kind of focus , or interest , for that matter . 
who is to blame ? 
is it the screenwriter , don macpherson ? 
perhaps , although i can see a shell of a story here that could have been a good superhero movie had it been handled right . 
is it the actors ? 
for god's sake , no -- these people clearly lost interest when they saw the inevitable path of destruction on which this film was travelling . 
i blame director jeremiah chechik , who shouldn't have been given the task to begin with . 
his best film , benny & joon , is quirky in the same way that this one was supposed to be , but here it mostly seems like a lot of failed attempts at wit and humor . 
add to that a lack of experience in big-budget action , and you have the worst choice for director this side of james ivory . 
if the avengers has a saving grace , it's the set design . 
the sets ( by stuart craig ) are big , colorful , and often pleasing to look at . 
i like the final set-piece , on de wynter's island , even if none of it makes a bit of sense . 
i admired the overhead view of the stairs , showing dr . peel running around in circles and never getting anywhere . 
i also enjoyed michael kamen's music score , particularly in the opening credits . 
but this stuff is routine -- good sets and music are nice , but there's a lot more that needs to be here . 
inspiration , for instance , would have been really nice . 
maybe a little bit of cohesion in the story . 
or a sense of purpose . 
most of all , though , i would have liked to see these actors relish in their roles . 
damn this movie for not giving them the chance . 
"
"-1","if snake eyes were a dog , you'd put it to sleep . 
if it was a couch , you'd put it out on the sidewalk , where it would sit for a week . 
if it were your child , you'd be reading military school catalogs . 
if it were a ship -- no , it wouldn't be the titanic , that would imply glamor and tragedy -- it would be the exxon valdez . 
 ( personal side note : i saw this movie on the road during a houston business trip . 
for whatever reason , my hotel's cable system wasn't showing the astros-braves game , which featured a randy johnson-greg maddux matchup . 
this forced me to pay full price for snake eyes instead of watching a perfectly good baseball game for free -- so the invective , deserved as it is , should be seen in that perspective . ) 
snake eyes is supposed to be a mystery movie , and good mystery movies are supposed to leave you asking yourself questions on the way out of theater . 
snake eyes is not a good mystery movie , but i had some questions : where's the manager , and how do i get a re-admit pass ? 
if i fall asleep on the drive home and wreck my rent-a-car , can i sue brian de palma ? 
is it too late for the academy to revoke nicolas cage's oscar ? 
will someone please ( i'm begging you ) give gary sinise a role worthy of his talents ? 
and how , exactly does cage end up wearing the exact same shirt and tie as sinise does ? 
the first and most glaringly wrong thing with snake eyes is the trailer . 
if you've seen the trailer without seeing the movie , consider yourself fortunate . 
the trailer is a work of sheer genius . 
it manages to convey everything worthy of the movie -- the noteworthy steadicam work , the exuberance of cage's performance as a thoroughly corrupt atlantic city policeman , the essential elements of the marginal plot . 
the expert craftsman who pieced together a fairly good trailer out of snippets of a wretched movie deserves praise and a percentage of the gross . 
 ( is a best trailer category at the oscars that far-fetched , after all ? ) 
but all it does is set us up for an overwhelmingly disappointing movie . 
the trailer sets up what should have been a promising plot : detective ricky santoro ( cage ) must solve the mystery of who shot the secretary of defense at an atlantic city pay-per-view boxing match . 
unfortunately , there are multiple problems afoot . 
the trailer gives away much , too much of the story . 
the shooter is killed instantly , so the story revolves around why the secretary was killed and who is involved in the conspiracy . 
the film's secret is ho-hum at best , and anyone who has watched the trailer and is aware of the law of economy of characters can figure out who the top conspirator is . 
without an interesting plot , without interesting dialogue , and without much of a reason to care about the characters or the story , snake eyes is a failure on almost every possible level . 
as much as i hated this movie , i must give brian de palma one tiny bit of credit . 
de palma is maddeningly inconsistent . 
he can , on his day , create amazingly well-done movies ( the untouchables , carlito's way ) . 
on off-days , he can be , well , just horrid ( the bonfire of the vanities , raising cain ) . 
snake eyes falls into the horrid category , but there are a couple of moments that are worth seeing strictly for their film-school degree-of-difficulty value . 
the steadicam opening scene does a good job of introducing the cage character and is a virtuoso technical job by both the director and the actor . 
there is a split-screen chase scene that looks pretty good , and it's followed by a god's eye view of a bank of hotel rooms that's imaginitively done . 
this is what's called giving the devil his due . 
but the technical skill doesn't even come close to making up for the sheer evil of this movie . 
placing plot holes to one side for a moment , snake eyes features easily the worst boxing match in cinema history ( george foreman is in better shape than the movie boxers ) , a hurricane that exists for no other reason than to punctuate significant plotlines with portentuous thunderclaps , and perhaps the worst , most overly drawn out ending in years . 
snake eyes is a criminal act , an evil waste of time and talent . 
cage , sinise , and yes , even de palma deserve better . 
the audience deserves better -- but no refund , no re-admit pass , no free popcorn coupon , can ever restore to us the time we've spent or wash the awful images from our mind . 
however , we are left with one consolation , that we were warned by the movie's title -- because snake eyes is nothing more than a roll of craps . 
"
"-1","the last line ( or near to that honor ) is the great butler , alfred ( the ubergod , michael gough ) saying , "" i think we need a bigger bat cave , "" or something to that note . 
that's exactly what this film is - too big for its own good because it has too damn much . 
cut batgirl out . 
cut one of the villains . 
it's too much to handle in one dosage . 
it's so much that characters get left behind . 
poor elle gets a mere 3 scenes and a subplot which is introduced but never finished in any way , shape or form . 
and elle deserves better . 
this is the fourth in the gigantic film series and the second from director joel schumacher . 
it's also the fourth worst in the series ( and second worst from joel ) . 
the series has been declining since its stunning debut , followed by the almost-as-stunning sequel and then the anti-climactic third one ( first by joel ) . 
this one's not anti-climactic - i knew it was gonna suck . 
it's up to joel to make it fun though . 
 "" batman forever "" was fun . 
this is a big bore of over-produced action sequences and shallow characters . 
i mean , this one bit . 
i'm gonna put all the plot in one paragraph : mr . freeze ( ah-nold ) , who's wife was dying of some disease , has become the new big villain these days . 
he's a huge ex-scientist who fell into some weird liquid ( hello ? 
joker ? ) and now has a body temperature of a big fat zero and has a blue body . 
batman ( george ) and robin ( chris ) fight him a bit but find they're growing apart . 
meanwhile , another villain shows up , poison ivy ( uma ! ) , who was a dorky scientist chick working on flowers in south america with a twistet scientist ( john glover ) who kills her when she finds out he's used her research to develop an uberman , bane , who is basically a man pumped with chemicals which probably killed any personality he ever had . 
she emerges from her chemicals ( don't ask 'cause i can't tell ya ) as a sexy woman ( the real uma ) who's poison when or if you kiss her and has some aphrodiasiatic scent she blows at people . 
she starts to tear away at the dynamic duo . 
meanwhile , alfred's dying of the same disease mr . freeze's wife has ( but in an earlier state than she ) , and his niece , barbara ( alicia ) , comes all the way from oxford without an english accent to get him away from the butler trade , but soon ( well , not really soon , it takes her 2 hours ) becomes batgirl . 
meanwhile , in an unfinished subplot , bruce ( batman's alter-ego , if you forgot ) has been dating the lovely julie madison ( the even lovlier elle macpherson ) who wants a commitment after a year but he says nothing . 
end of her for all we know . 
mr . freeze ultimately teams with poison ivy and they want to freeze the world and then take it over growing new plants as their population ( don't ask ! ! ! ) . 
the trio must team together "" as family "" to beat them . 
there ya go . 
not the whole story but no big context clues . 
too much , right ? 
right ! 
the films seems patched together of nice little ideas which would have made for a couple good sequels . 
however , while tim burton nicely balanced the villain/batman storyline ( although not wonderfully ) , joel seems to do almost nothing with batman in this one . 
he gets some corny speeches , a couple clever lines and that's it . 
maybe some stunts . 
for all this , i can't even comment on george clooney as batman - i hardly saw the guy ! 
and when i did , he had horrible dialogue to say . 
i think michael keaton is the quintessential batman but val kilmer was too robotic and fake as batman in the last episode . 
george is in between them . 
he's not quintessential , he's not horrible , he's good . 
but i'm sure next time when they decide to renovate the series since they'll be critically murdered for this sorry effort , we'll get a good script and clooney will shine ( if he still has the job ) . 
the villains are the only interesting part of the series according to schumacher . 
last time , we had the brawn of two face as played by tommy lee jones and the brains/comedy supplied by the riddler as realized by jim carrey . 
this time we have a somewhat sympathetic and somewhat hatable villain ( the same guy ) , mr . freeze . 
we feel bad for his mental/physical collapse but does he really need to kill everyone for plants ? 
arnold isn't very good - too hokey but kinda sympathetic at some points . 
when he watches old movies of his wife , he actually looks somber . 
wow . 
but uma makes the most of her seductive character , getting the right point between hamminess and seductiveness . 
it's like she's almost parodying herself in "" pulp fiction "" at points . 
she's incredibly hot and makes the movie pretty much a star better . 
as for the lower bat-people , chris is the same as he was in "" batman forever , "" although i think his work in these is too hokey when he's best at quieter parts in "" scent of a woman "" or just plain cool parts in "" fried green tomotoes . "" 
alicia - i love the girl but she's not particularly good in this film . 
she can hypotheitically act , we all saw that in "" clueless , "" but her lines kinda sound weird . 
and it isn't the mushy-mouth this time . 
but in all fairness , she has virtually no part . 
joel gets around to her occasionally and when she's on , she does stupid stuff . . . although 
i know i'm not the only one who loved the catfight between her and uma . . . 
and poor elle . 
poor , poor elle . 
i love that woman and she can also hypothetically act ( for those of us who saw "" sirens "" ) . 
but she has no part ! ! ! 
it seems like joel had so much footage that he had to edit almost an hour out of the final product . 
there are no "" couch "" scenes ( like my best friend noticed ) . 
now listen to me on this one - in every "" batman "" flick , there's a couch scene . 
in the original , it was with vicki . 
in "" returns , "" it was a good make-out scene with selena . 
and in the last one , it was a chat with nicole . 
this one , it's nothing . 
and batgirl does next-to-nothing in this film till the end when she's suddenly "" part of the family . "" 
fortunately , we get a lot of alfred . 
he's the always reliable butler , in case you didn't know , who has been with bruce all his life . 
he's a god . 
he's a father figure . 
he's also dying . 
this got to me . 
i love alfred almost as much as bruce and to see him in a robe , not in his tux , and freaking dying just gets to me . 
we also get the idea that he might have been unhappy the whole time . . . but 
this is never answered , as this film is too cluttered . 
but in defense , it does have some good parts , other than uma . 
for one , george is a good batman but unfortunately gets nothing to do . 
and there are some nice touches . 
when they show the asylum at one point , they show the patient's belongings in a room and we see the riddler's costume . 
i laughed . 
and during a biker scene ( involving robin and batgirl - another subplot never handled past initiation period ) , we not only see coolio but a bunch of bad-asses dressed as "" droogs "" from "" a clockwork orange . "" 
i laughed at all these . 
the film falls apart around the five-minute mark during an enormously long action sequence which must last around 20 minutes . . . or 
did it just feel like that ? 
the film should serve as another in the long-line of films which demonstrate that we need more intelligent films nowadays . 
people are fed up with stupid films . 
that's why the word of mouth killed "" the lost world ! "" 
that's why last year , indy films grossed more than ever . 
that's why this will have a strong box-office initative from people who just want to see it , like me , but will die after a week or two when the word around the grapevine kills it . 
that's why the next two big-budget aciton pics are john woo's "" face/off "" and barry sonnenfeld's "" men in black , "" both which are the first two to catch on to the wave early on . 
i like joel schumacher more as a person than an artiste . 
i like some of his films ( "" flatliners , "" "" a time to kill "" ) but a lot of them suck . 
he's a really eccentric person and i loved one of his quotes about how he admits to being a mediocre director and that's what makes him great . 
but his costuming for woody allen's "" sleeper "" was more interesting than this one ( and his costuming was cool - look for the nazi number ) . 
i love the "" batman "" series . 
the first two rocked and i did like the last one . 
but this one is not going to be one that i watch repeatedly like the other three . 
hopefully , this will also serve as a springboard to a better batman next time . 
and maybe they'll get smart and bring back catwoman . 
and michael keaton . 
but we can only hope . 
"
"-1","writers : dennis feldman and jonathan hensleigh ( based on the comic book by chuck pfarrer ) 
starring : jamie lee curtis , william baldwin , donald sutherland , joanna pacula , sherman augustus , marshall bell , cliff curtis , julio oscar mechoso 
i suppose i'm not extremely surprised that "" virus "" comes to us from a deciple of james cameron ( john bruno ) , and if i strain real hard , i could even say that it's an obvious given , particuarly looking from the standpoint of mr . cameron's early works . 
in fact , "" virus "" is yet another in the long line of action/horror/paranoia thrillers from the "" aliens "" vein : a group of people are dropped into a mysterious situation only to find a mortally-threatening entity is out to get them , a textbook example hailing all the way back to the early talkies , and maybe even to the first pictures , albeit redeveloped by cameron in his 1986 blockbuster that earned him esteem and bigger budgets to come in his future . 
no such thing will happen to bruno , whom i believe worked in some capacity on that quasi-landmark feature ; while bruno may have studied under cameron's wing for years and years , i'm beginning to wonder at what capacity , and what exactly did he learn from him . 
in fact , "" virus "" should at least be mediocre ; the fact that bruno could have worked under a man like cameron - a director who , if anything , just knows how to make a movie - and then make a film like "" virus "" is just another detraction fairly aimed at this z-grade schlockfest of a film , albeit a z-grade schlockfest with a respectable budget . 
the film seems to not only borrow it's plot from last year's similarly-fated "" deep rising , "" but also from a clunkish b-movie from the '80s called "" leviathan , "" an underwater thriller starring peter weller , richard crenna , hector elizando , and daniel stern about a group of miners who stumble upon an alien lifeform that was part "" alien , "" part john carpenter's twisted remake of "" the thing . "" 
 "" virus , "" again , has a similar , uh , selling point : a group of sailors on a boat stumble upon a russian cruiser that is dead in the water . 
they get on . 
they break up into pairs and investigate . 
and they find an alien lifeform on board that comes in the form of energy , has taken over all the machines on board , have meshed the machines with parts from corpses , and have deemed humankind their enemy because of a misquote in the dictionary ( ha ha ) . 
not that any of this is for a second scary or the least bit involving ; not only does this film start off with a chintzy bond-ian opening ( the destruction of the cruiser via a satellite transmission from mir ) , destroying any of the suspense in what could happen , but it also fails to bring us any interesting chracters . 
of its motley crew , it only choses as its potentially eccentric cast of characters a lead woman skipper , a masculine potential-romantic-interest , a drunken captain , a black technician , a tatooed aborigine , a manic russian survivor , and a couple other candidates for alien food , none whom are the least bit interesting or more dimensional than a thin , plain piece of writing paper . 
and it's not the traditional argument for films like these , where you may in fact want them all to be eaten ( even "" aliens "" played with the karma of the arrogant soldiers , but this was more of a plus-side for the film as a whole than the opposite ) ; instead , as another cliche goes , you just don't give a damn . 
i almost don't even have to say that the acting from everyone ranges from sub-par to horrific , the former being jamie lee curtis in the lead showing off what a strong female lead she is ( and she is , just not really here ) and the latter being - and it pains me to say this as he's a particular favorite of mine - donald sutherland , who plays the captain so poorly and without a second of credibility that this will go down as the performance-of-which-he-should-be-ashamed . 
like anthony hopkins for "" legends of the fall "" ( the line "" scrooooooo 'em "" has been thus embroidered upon my membrance ) . 
or peter o'toole in "" caligula . "" 
great actor , horrific performance . 
it happens every now and then , and it only helps sutherland's career that no one , except for an elite few , even bothered to see this film . 
though it has sat on the shelves of universal studios for about two years , waiting until it can be released and make as much money as it possibly can ( read : early january , when everyone's still trying to catch up on the potential oscar-nominees ) , it does show that universal shelled out a pretty penny to make this film : it's laden with complex machinery , boasts respectable production design , and it may even feature believable special effects . . . if , of course , i , or anyone else , could see them . 
 "" virus "" mostly takes place on a large , abandoned cruiser , and mostly at night until the dawn , and mostly without the use of lights , not so much for the productivity of the alien creatures in their pursuit of their human prey , but more so because , as the hollywood cliche seems to go , "" if it's dark enough , then the special effects will be more believable . "" 
and if you don't believe me , go back and rent "" godzilla , "" and tell me if there's even one shot where we see godzilla either a ) in his entirety in one wide shot , or b ) n the light so that we can at least see him ( well , you don't really have to sit through it again ; just take my word for it ) . 
but all of this doesn't matter since "" virus "" is basically just one loud , cluttered mess of a movie . 
the action scenes are muddled and as difficult to follow as any action movie i've ever seen ( my , um , favorite part was the scene where a trio of them end up somehow on the outside of the ship , during a five minute bouillabaisse of tidal waves , rain , and any other ocean-extremeties the film can cook up , then end up back in the ship when one of them is revealed to have apparently drowned - well , i must say , thanks for telling me afterwards because i sure couldn't figure it out when i saw it ) . 
imagine the first attack of the aliens in "" aliens , "" shot from the pov of the soldiers and then the authorities in the battle car if it was all hard to follow and done without any dramatic intensity , and that's basically the whole of "" virus "" : one horribly-directed action scene after the other , capping it off with a proposterous gadget that saves the day and at least a couple of the original cast members . 
and my god , it's a long damn sit . 
with no interesting characters , no dramatic urgency , no tension , not one good moment of action , and no mesmerizing visuals , it's a wonder that it even got made . 
we already know that big movie studios' mentality is shallow at best , and movies like "" out of sight "" and "" saving private ryan "" give you more faith in them , but movies like "" virus "" manage to drain a little more out of the pool . 
i almost wish that instead of making this movie , john bruno had gone cinema verite and captured the meetings with universal heads when they gave this film a green light . 
they read the script , they knew they were entrusting millions upon millions of dollars into a director who might have very well been a cameron hack ( and he is ) , and they still went ahead with the project , only to have bruno and company shit back in their face . 
even though i hold universal in contempt for making this horrible movie , i'd say even more contempt should be aimed at mr . bruno for making a movie that could be this bad . 
in fact , shouts of "" egad , man , what were you doing when you worked for cameron anyway ? "" 
are not only justifiable , but encouraged . 
"
"-1","deuce bigalow ( rob schneider ) cleans fish tanks . 
yeah , i didn't know that was a real job either . 
one of his customers is antoine leconte ( oded fehr ) , a successful gigolo . 
when antoine has to go to sweden for three weeks , he lets deuce use his house to look after an ailing $800 fish . 
fooling around , deuce sets fire to the kitchen and smashes a $6000 fish tank . 
after taking a try at one of antoine's clients and earning $10 , deuce decides to prostitute himself to raise the money to replace the fish tank before the fiery-tempered antoine returns . 
enter t . j . ( eddie griffin ) , a pimp for "" man-whores , "" who arranges for deuce to service an assortment of women whose imperfections keep them from dating . 
there's an enormous woman ( played by transvestite porn star chi chi la rue ) who hides food in her clothes . 
there's claire ( gail o'grady ) whose narcolepsy causes her to fall asleep every few minutes . 
tina ( torsten voges ) is so tall her face doesn't fit on the screen , and ruth ( amy poehler ) has tourette's syndrome and shouts obscenities without warning . 
finally there's kate ( arija bareikis ) whose sorority sisters secretly paid her fare . 
she seems perfect , and deuce quickly falls in love with her . 
 ( she does , we discover later , have an imperfection , but deuce decides it isn't important . ) 
deuce's life is complicated by a bothersome cop ( william forsythe ) looking for information on antoine and by kate's discovery of his man-whoring . 
however , neither threat generates much suspense . 
the formula is so familiar that we know how it will end from the start . 
 "" deuce bigalow "" is the first project from adam sandler's company happy madison , the formation of which assures that we'll be seeing the sandler style of comedy mass-produced at an increasing rate in years to come . 
be afraid . 
be very afraid . 
the good news is that sandler doesn't actually appear in "" deuce "" and that rob schneider and eddie griffin are funnier than sandler . 
schneider has a sweetness that makes the clueless but good-hearted deuce believable . 
griffin's delivery is dead-on , especially in the coining of "" technical terms "" for t . j . 's profession , as in "" don't make me he-bitch man-slap you ! "" 
there's the expected amount of toilet humor in "" deuce . "" 
 ( for one thing , deuce's dad is a men's room attendant ) . 
does anyone over the age of eight actually find bowel movements that funny ? 
for most of us , i think that childhood fascination with bodily functions disappears when we hit the far-side of puberty and discover how funny sex is . 
i , for one , will be glad when the toilet trend is finally flushed . 
bottom line : "" deuce "" doesn't offer anything new but it is intermittently funny . 
"
"-1","this is your definitive "" hollywood "" movie , extremely predictable , following the basic formula ( a horrible ending ) , overzealous writing ( meaning the writing was bad and seemed as if it were trying too hard to make it exciting , therefore making it look as if many things were merely tossed in there to fill space ) and if tommy lee jones and his lovable wise-ass character ( of which we've seen before in the fugitive and quite frankly , wasn't used enough here ) , i'm afraid the film would have been completely unbearable . 
in this film , ashley judd plays a women who is wrongfully convicted of killing her husband while out sailing for a weekend . 
while in jail she finds out that her husband really is alive and that he framed the murder on her . 
over money ( how original ) . 
while in jail she works out , exercises and basically does her best to get into near perfect condition . 
now she has learned about a law titled "" double jeopardy "" stating that if she serves her full sentence and get out she could kill her husband and the law could not touch her ( although there has been talk that this is not the way the actual law works ) . 
now her po ( parole officer ) , and a bunch of cops are chasing after her and are conflicted whether or not to believe her claims . 
skipping over to the acting : the fact that judd is more of a looker than an actress ( no offense , she has been good [simon birch] and even very good to great [kiss the girls] at times , in the past and i believe may have the potential to be better . . . 
but she's terribly unconvincing in this and her performance seems stale and unsatisfying ) doesn't really add to the movie at all ; just takes away . 
as i'd said , jones was fine , although he did not have much to work with . 
he was much more of a supporting character . 
which is fine , and he handled it well ; especially considering the material he had to work with . 
i feel this film had alot going for it . 
originality not being an issue . 
the acting was the only thing ( as i said ) keeping it alive . 
the plot seemed pretty intriguing and could have been as well if applied better . 
the action scenes were well made ( however sometimes out of place ) . 
i was just left unsatisfied in the long run . 
so basically some of the action may have been exciting but genuinely over-thought , the plot has certainly been done before ( generally speaking ) , the movie moves way too fast for us to get involved in either the characters or the plot , and is basically a film that was almost saved by tommy lee jones , who if he had some more screentime , could perhaps have earned the film a higher rating ; in my book , anyway . 
keep this in mind , if you're in the mood for a good action film -- rent the fugitive . 
d+ 
"
"-1","dead-bang , an action thriller starring don johnson , lives up to its dumb title , or at least to half of it . 
although dead-bang is definitely dead , it is anything but a bang ; in fact , they should have called this one "" dead bore . "" 
in the film , johnson plays . . . 
you guessed it . . . 
a cop . 
the role must have been really challenging for johnson since his character , jerry beck , is a gritty los angeles homicide detective , a real stretch from the slick vice detective johnson portrayed on "" miami vice . "" 
a la mel gibson in lethal weapon , beck is an emotional wreck , complete with violent outbursts , unscrupulous police methods , and a bleak outlook on life . 
beck's wife has just divorced him , and she is cutting him off from their children . 
she will not even allow him to wish them "" merry christmas "" by telephone . 
but beck's family and emotional problems take a back seat to the action and thrills in dead-bang . 
beck is investigating the brutal murders of a shopkeeper and a cop . 
his investigation starts in l . a . and finally culminates and climaxes in oklahoma , where he has a violent showdown with the killers at a white supremacist camp . 
virtually every aspect of dead-bang is inept and ineffective . 
the plot is incoherent and full of holes . 
the movie depicts beck's investigation so clumsily that you never see the connections between his clues and his conclusions . 
the action sequences in dead-bang are strictly third-rate , and the movie has absolutely no momentum or suspense . 
i certainly expected more from long-time director john frankenheimer who directed the classic political thriller , the manchurian candidate--as well as black sunday , seven days in may , and the french connection ii . 
in all fairness to frankenheimer , however , i should note that most of dead-bang's shortcomings seem to stem from its shabby script rather than from the direction . 
dead-bang tries to don a mask of social relevance by incorporating themes of racism and white supremacy , but its efforts are nothing more than token gestures and nothing less than insulting . 
according to the movie's production notes , dead-bang is based on the real-life experiences of still-active detective jerry beck . 
you would never guess this from watching dead-bang , however , since the film totally lacks credibility ; it is utterly unconvincing and unbelievable . 
most of the characters in dead-bang are either atrociously acted , underdeveloped , superfluous , or all of the above . 
william forsythe , for example , is painfully bad as arthur kressler , a wholesome by-the-book fbi agent who's offended by beck's foul language and unorthodox methods . 
forsythe's lame performance and corny dialogue makes his character unbearable . 
dead-bang marks the motion picture debut of tim reid ( "" wkrp in cincinnati "" and "" frank's place "" ) , but his talents are completely wasted in a cliched and contrived role ; he plays the chief officer of a squadron of black cops who help beck to nail the villains . 
the sole function of penelope ann miller's character is to give dead-bang an excuse to include a gratuitous love scene between characters about whom you could not care less . 
i guess the film's title refers to this love scene since it's definitely a dead bang . 
the only real virtue of dead-bang , believe it or not , is don johnson , who tries to overcome the limitations of the movie's pitiful script . 
johnson succeeds in giving his character a sarcastic sense of humor and a hint of depth , and his pessimistic wisecracks occasionally bring the film to life . 
and i must admit that dead-bang does have one or two amusing moments . 
the funniest scene has johnson throwing-up all over a criminal as he interrogates him . 
but when barf is the highlight of a movie , you know the movie's in trouble . 
the other amusing scene involves a psychological examination of beck , in which he can't keep a straight face because the psychiatrist resembles woody allen . 
but two funny scenes and a couple good wisecracks do not a movie make . 
"
"-1","it was once said that in order to truly enjoy some of todays movies or novels , you must suspend disbelief .  
however , there is a distinct separation between opening your mind to ridiculous situations and believing a bunch of flat lies . 
it came as no surprise to me to learn that huntingburg , indiana ( where the film is set ) , does not have a mcdonald's , a sears store , a statue of a man on a horse , nor even a dam close by . 
even if you can ignore these somewhat white lies ( even though the dam is crucial to hard rains plot ) ; there is still a bunch of things that just dont gel . 
firstly , morgan freeman , possibly the greatest actor alive ( after such films as driving miss daisy , the shawshank redemption and se7en ) , was cast as a shifty goon intent on stealing enough money for a healthy retirement . 
he _should_ have played the town sheriff , an experienced and somewhat intriguing policeman . 
as a massive flood started by a dam accident overwhelms huntingburg , its residents presumably flee as the water level steadily increases . 
i say presumably simply because we never know what happened to them ; and it seems a tad strange that an entire town ( with the exception of some folk who get introduced along the way ) can vanish before the flood has actually started . 
but nether the less , armored guard couriers tom ( christian slater ) and his uncle are carrying three million dollars in the back of their van . 
with a heavy rainstorm causing depressing conditions and slippery roads , it doesnt take long for the van to end up stuck amongst mud and water off the side of the road . 
jim ( morgan freeman ) and a small gang of thieves locate the van and attempt to steal the three million dollars . 
but of course tom is more than willing to save the day , so he takes the money and hides it elsewhere in town . 
the local sheriff ( randy quaid , whom most will remember as the drunken pilot in id4 ) and a couple of police men investigate the situation , but their morals are soon overpowered by greediness as each character contemplates what he/she would do with their share of the three million dollars . 
director mikael salomon has made sure that hard rain ends up turning everything topsy-turvy , and whilst the film may at first appear to be a definite goodies versus baddies ,  there are numerous twists in its plot that make this a slightly more enjoyable experience . 
but by the time these interesting changes occur , its far too late in the film for them to have much affect . 
hard rains continuos corniness and lack of originality washes out whatever hope the script may have had ; and although its cast is somewhat appealing most of its stars act well below par . 
not at one stage capturing what could have been a fabulous on screen battle between slater and freeman , we are left to reminisce on films that dared to do something different and achieved more than what was expected . 
such titles as broken arrow ( slater and john travolta ) and face/off ( nicholas cage and john travolta ) come to mind as films that have mastered silver screen confrontations . 
strangely enough , they were both directed by john woo and both star john travolta . 
we can forgive morgan freeman for giving a slightly disappointing performance since he is newish to the action genre , but christian slater could have achieved so much more had the amount of crummy one liners been reduced and some personality added to his character . 
if you had asked me whether slater could perform well enough to substantially boost a movie prior to the release of broken arrow , my answer would have been a definite no . 
i now know that he has no excuse , and _can_ do better ( if you dont believe me rent a copy of broken arrow from your local video store ) . 
although hard rain never really works from the start , i somehow felt feelings of missed opportunity when the credits filled the screen . 
the addition of an enticing sub-plot would have given the film time to breathe , rather than try to cram 96 minutes of action and disaster into a story that cant handle anything else . 
despite the fact that hard rain fails on almost every account , if your standards are low enough you may find this to be a mildly enjoyable film . 
no creative flair and no inventive scenes means that hard rain does not stand up well against its many competitors , but it doesnt really matter since the last thing you would want to do after shelling about $8 . 50 is compare this to other films . 
"
"-1"," "" some houses are born bad , "" goes the haunting's tag line , to which i must add , "" some movies , too . "" 
nothing short of hiring a new cast , a more literate screenwriter , and a new director could have saved this tragically misguided adaptation of jackson's meritorious novel . 
the haunting is late entry summer dreck too slick to be creepy , and its seemingly endless stream of digital trickery and spooky ooky sound effects don't frighten so much as numb the audience into submission-the film is like a rube goldberg contraption rigged to shout "" boo . "" 
fragile nell ( taylor ) , bisexual theo ( zeta-jones ) , and smiley luke ( wilson ) are three insomniacs who gather at the reputedly possessed hill house for an extended study on sleep disorders , hosted by professor marrow ( neeson ) . 
marrow's secretly gathering data on their respective paranoid responses to his recount of hill house's bleak history . 
he's not prepared for the very real apparitions that terrorize the crew , nell especially , who has some ancestral connection to the manor's previous inhabitants . 
taylor is thoroughly insufferable in her first big-budget lead . 
for starters , her consistently dour expression sucks the life out of even the early scenes , when we're introduced to the mansion and all its fun-house trappings . 
her character is supposed to be depressed , having tended to an unloving mother for too many years , but taylor plays nell as supernaturally lame , alternately grouchy , mopey , wiggy and pathetic , and i kept wondering why the other characters didn't just ditch this bitch . 
as for the obscenely photogenic zeta-jones , she breezes through her scenes with a wink and a smile and takes the scenery with her . 
unfortunately , she's saddled with some of the most unlikely dialogue the screenplay has to offer . 
theo's assessment of the house ? 
 "" i love it ! 
sort of charles foster kane meets the munsters . "" 
who on earth would say that in place of "" citizen kane meets the munsters "" ? 
 ( furthermore , would you gladly spend a single night in a house befitting that description ? ) 
both actresses fare better than neeson , who looks embarrassed to be a part of this ensemble ( and for good reason ) , and his character is the most bland . 
as luke puts it , dr . marrow pulls the old "" academic bait and switch "" on his subjects , but he breaks down and confesses to this the second he's accused . 
later , he risks his life by climbing a crumbling stairwell to save nell ( it's amusing to hear neeson shout "" nell "" repeatedly , given his starring role in the 1994 jodie foster vehicle of the same name ) . 
why was this nice , helpful , and redemptive researcher so absent of ethics at the start ? 
the haunting was well designed by eugenio zanetti . 
his sets are obsessively detailed , and even before the cgi kicks in , they seem alive , never quite still . 
i do have one beef with this aspect of the production : the real life mansion used in exterior shots , nottinghamshire's harlaxton manor , is so vast that one has trouble believing that nell and company , no matter how much running away they do from ghosts and goblins , always finish up in locations that were established in act one , as if all the action has been confined to one wing of hill house . 
eighty million dollars was spent on the haunting , and despite a powerhouse box office debut , i doubt it will recoup its costs ( including marketing ) domestically . 
thank jan de bont for that : proving for the third time that speed was a fluke , in that it was actually enjoyable , de bont has served up another ride , sans thrill . 
his images , well-lit though they are , have an unmistakable been there-done that quality ; in fact , whole sequences , not to mention the cloaked , airy ghoul who owns the climax , feel lifted from a much smarter and infinitely more enjoyable spectacle from three summers back , peter jackson's the frighteners . 
i don't mean to suggest de bont is a plagiarist , i mean to suggest that he's a hack , having found no new ways to give us chills . 
"
"-1","play it to the bone is a punch-drunk mess of a movie . 
containing a good cast but awful acting ; an interesting premise but terrible execution , ron shelton ( white men can't jump ) gives us a rocky story with not one rocky but two . 
rocky no . 1 is vince boudreau ( woody harrelson , edtv ) , a bald , tattooed , newly converted christian , whose idea of christianity is not using the name of christ as a curse word . . . 
something that he has not yet successfully achieved . 
rocky no . 2 is caesar dominguez ( antonio banderas , the 13th warrior ) , best friend of vince who is currently dating vince's ex-girlfriend , grace . 
both men are nearing the end of their "" almost "" careers when a fluke provides them with a redemptive opportunity . 
when both fighters of the undercard of a vegas based mike tyson title fight become incapacitated , the fight promoters need to find a quick replacement . 
our boys are tapped to fight each other , the winner of which is "" promised "" a shot at a future title fight . 
the film is divided into two sections . 
at first , we have a buddy road picture as our two heroes , in grace's "" sassy grassy "" green muscle car , travel through the desert to vegas in order to make the fight scheduled for that day . 
along the way we learn about their pasts and the opportunities that have come and gone by . 
once in vegas , the movie settles down to the effectively staged fight sequences between vince and caesar . 
both mr . harrelson and mr . banderas have provided us with stunning characterizations in the past , not that we'd know it from their work here . 
mr . harrelson is uncomfortably awkward , apparently never having gotten a firm handle on vince . 
the christian conversion angle simply falls flat and unbelievable . 
mr . banderas is uncharacteristically non-charismatic as caesar . 
weak and ineffectual , there is little life in his screen performance . 
the other actors involved merely play stereotypes of one sort or another . 
tom sizemore ( saving private ryan ) , robert wagner ( austin powers ii : the spy who shagged me ) , and richard masur ( fire down below ) are crooked promoters , lucy liu ( payback ) is a sex-starved hitchhiker looking for a good time , and lolita davidovich ( gods and monsters ) , is the shared girlfriend who can't make her mind up which boxer she prefers . 
because of the weak characters and the lack of screen chemistry between them , the film flounders with all the appeal of a dead fish until the boxing match actually begins . 
but even then , because the outcome is so predictably obvious , the suspense factor is negated and we are relegated to just watching two men pummel each other . 
writer/director ron shelton clearly spent much time orchestrating the fight sequence as it is well photographed , well-choreographed , well-edited , and well-performed . 
if only some of that same detailed attention had been diverted to the remaining parts of the film . 
as it is , the scenes which require the characters to actually talk to one another are weak and laughable . 
the title is actually the most interesting aspect of the film . 
the phrase , "" play it to the bone' is a reference to seeing something all the way through or not quitting until you've achieved your desired goal . 
that is a biblical principle . 
 "" know ye not that they which run in a race run all , but one receiveth the prize ? 
so run , that ye may obtain . "" 
1 corinthians 9 : 24 [kjv] 
achieving anything worthy in life requires "" playing it to the bone "" . 
we need to develop fully persuaded mindsets and commitment levels in order to endure and persevere past the obstacles and distractions which lay between us and our stated objectives . 
this is true in practical matters of our physical lives as well as the in the developing maturity of our spiritual lives . 
as a movie , play it to the bone is hardly worth our time . 
but as a principle of life , the phrase "" play it to the bone "" are words to live by . 
"
"-1","i have no real tangible proof of this , but i swear that there are a lot of producers in hollywood who adamantly believe that if you take a bad script , written by a bad writer and give the project it to an equally bad director , then it is actually possible to make a good movie . 
using their logic , all that really needs be done to change the bad movie into a good movie is cast a bunch of super-famous actors and provide an almost unlimited production budget . 
this is the only way i can fathom how 20th century fox hired jon amiel in order to direct this eighty million dollar waste of my time ( not counting the time it took me to get to and from the theatre ) . 
now , before i continue to ferociously attack what's wrong with this film , i just want to point out that one of the reasons it fails so miserably is because it does have the potential to be an exciting thriller . 
catherine zeta-jones plays virginia baker , an insurance investigator tracking down an infamous art thief named robert macdougal ( sean connery ) . 
if you've ever seen any hollywood blockbuster before , i really don't have to spend too much time on frivolous plot details : the two team up for various jobs , stealing various things for various purposes . 
the problem we come to is that we've all seen this a few billion times before and this film doesn't break any new ground in the big-budget/hollywood/action genre . 
the result is that the entire production feels contrived . 
i'm going to be completely honest here : pretty much the only thing keeping me awake throughout the run-time was looking at catherine zeta-jones . 
now while this may be a compliment for ms . zeta-jones , it certainly isn't for either the writers or the director , who are not nearly as clever as they think they are . 
just about the most profound thought they can inject into this film is when they have macdougal lecture baker on the semantic difference between "" entrapment "" and "" blackmail "" . 
with an eighty million dollar budget , you'd think that entrapment would at least feature edge-of-your seat action scenes or breathtaking special f/x . 
well , you'd be wrong . 
the action that is present in this film takes place in a huge skyscraper and is relatively unspectacular . 
unfortunately for all those involved with entrapment , die hard narrowly beat it to the screen by ? 11 years . 
the reality is that after 15 minutes of watching this picture , you know exactly what's going to happen , despite rather pathetic attempts in the screenplay to throw in plot twists . 
many scenes seem to exist merely as a reason to outfit zeta-jones in extremely tight-fitting clothing . 
one particular scene features baker crawling around trying to avoid laser-beams while she tries to steal an ancient chinese mask . 
nothing wrong with that , but she entered the room from the floor and knew exactly where the mask was - so why didn't she and macdougal tunnel in directly under the mask instead of the other side of the room ? 
i'll tell you why : because it's a great excuse to photograph zeta-jones' posterior as it slides underneath those beams ( and it also allows a second scene of the exact same thing - the rehearsal ) . 
ving rhames also makes an appearance in this movie , and though he has great screen presence ( although so do connery and zeta-jones ) and the most interesting character in the film , not even he can rescue this film from the depths of the boring film abyss ( a concept i invented just to describe this picture ) . 
one last complaint : entrapment is littered of instances where macdougal will just slip into a shadow or behind a building , or he becomes obstructed by a moving vehicle and then in the next shot , he'll spontaneously disappear in ninja-like fashion . 
i can picture amiel patting himself on the back , thinking to himself "" it'll leave the audience wondering for days : how did he do that ? "" 
we know jon , it's called editing . 
"
"-1","when i originally saw the trailer for "" analyze this "" a few months ago , i must admit , i thought it looked kind of lame . 
and then when the commercials started popping up a week or two ago , i thought it looked outright bad . 
but then when "" analyze this "" finally opened a few days ago , an odd thing happened . 
it got great reviews . 
critics were proclaiming it "" hilarious "" and a "" dead-on parody of mob movies "" . 
well , with praise like that , i figured , it must be good and so i headed off to the theater . 
you know that expression that says always trust your gut instincts ? 
well , turns out that expression is more valid than i ever gave it credit for . 
 "" analyze this "" is slow , unfunny , and badly acted . 
don't get me wrong , i think that deniro is one of the top ten greatest actors of the century , but he is just out of his league here . 
i think the problem is he didn't quite know how to approach this material . 
he plays his character , mob boss paull vitti , somewhere in between the realm of comedy and drama . 
if he had played the character straight , along the lines of leslie nielson in the "" naked gun "" series , he probably would have been a lot more successful . 
as it is , though , he plays the character completely serious at some moments , and for laughs at others . 
this doesn't work . 
it creates an uneven character that never breaks out of the deniro mold ; you always know it's him . 
and the movie is badly paced , too . 
it never takes off . 
it just crawls from one scene to another without any forward momentum . 
i think the blame for this should be placed on the script . 
it's obvious the writer had a good idea for a movie , mob boss faces breakdown and needs the services of a psychiatrist , but once this is established , the movie doesn't really go anywhere . 
the formula of the film seems to be this : billy crystal says no to deniro , deniro forces him , and much wackiness ensues . 
this formula of sorts is repeated several times throughout the movie . 
i've said it before and i'll say it again : the only thing that matters to me in a comedy is whether or not it's funny . 
if "" analyze this "" had been funny , the pacing and bad acting wouldn't have bothered me . 
i would have been too busy laughing to notice . 
but as it is , i only chuckled a few times . 
the only really funny scene is a dead-on parody of "" the godfather "" . 
sadly , though , i don't think anyone in the audience i saw it with realized it was a parody , because i was the only one laughing . 
but my sense of humour , i have come to realize , is vastly different from the general population . 
i loathed "" there's something about mary "" , yet loved "" baseketball "" . 
now , if you want a movie that * i * think is funny , go out and see "" office space "" . 
it's full of genuine laughs and won't leave you glancing at your watch every 10 minutes , as "" analyze this "" did . 
"
"-1","jean-claude van damme movies tend to be , if nothing else , a lot of mindless fun . 
his latest film , "" knock off , "" skips on the fun part leaving a wildly incoherent exercise that is , well , simply mindless . 
you can't really blame van damme . 
no one , i suspect , has ever expected "" the muscles from brussels "" to contribute a heartfelt performance brimming with introspection and delicate shades of gray . 
and even his sidekick co-star , "" saturday night live "" alumnus rob "" makin' copies "" schneider , does what's expected of him , although neither appear to want the role of straight man . 
no , the problem with the film is its direction . 
the first five minutes of the film are incomprehensible . . . 
and it goes downhill from there ! 
five hundred characters , it seems , are introduced within the first fifteen minutes . 
van damme doesn't land his first kick until after thirty--too late for most action fans--and by the time the hour mark has rolled around , your jaw will be on your cup holder and you'll be wondering why you elected to spend seven dollars on this mess . 
director hark tsui , whose previous film was the van damme/dennis rodman teamed "" double team , "" films at such a frenetic pace that it's hard to know what's going on , who's on whose side , and what the point of all this is . 
faster than you can yell "" fruit stand ! "" 
we're watching a crazed rickshaw race with schneider being bounced along by an energetic van damme . 
when schneider starts whacking van damme in the behind with a four-foot eel while enthusing "" move your beautiful big ass , "" the movie takes an unprecedented turn to the bizarre . 
every now and again "" knock off "" will deliver some truly ingenious directorial flourishes--inventive camera shots and angles , wild rides down gun silencers and from the tops of buildings to the sprawling street below , revealing cut-ins within the frame--but they all happen too quickly , and within such a furious frame of reference , that they're wasted . 
if only hark could have slowed things down just for a minute . 
if you're interested in the plot , you're better off reading a capsule review than trying to extract any meaning from the on-screen shenanigans : "" jean-claude van damme plays a shady bluejeans manufacturer who uncovers a russian mafia plot to terrorize the world with "" nanobombs "" hidden in cabbage patch knock-offs . 
maybe . 
with paul sorvino . "" 
a more accurate summary would be "" jean-claude van damme bums around hong kong failing to avoid large , blatant coca-cola product placements . "" 
the fact that the film is staged during hong kong's last days under british rule gets some lip service but doesn't figure in at all . 
perhaps "" knock off "" 's most intriguing credit is that ron and russell mael composed the frenzied music score . 
some of you might remember the mael brothers as the '80s synth pop duo sparks ; their contributions here are as confused as the accompanying action-- "" kimono my house "" indeed ! 
like the cheap jeans and "" pumma "" sneakers manufactured in hong kong , van damme's latest is a real phony . 
"
"-1","in "" twilight , "" a ex-alcoholic , ex-cop , ex-husband , ex-private-eye , harry ross ( paul newman ) , works for a pair of aging hollywood actors , catherine ( susan sarandon ) and jack ames ( gene hackman ) . 
jack is being blackmailed , and he asks harry to deliver the payoff . 
instead of the blackmailers , harry finds a dying ex-cop ( m . 
emmet walsh ) . 
as more bodies begin to pile up , harry realizes that he will have to solve the disappearance of catherine's first husband twenty years earlier to find out who's willing to kill to keep that secret buried . 
newman . sarandon . 
hackman . 
with an a-list cast of oscar laureates like that , "" twilight "" would seem very promising . 
however , the script is tired and predictable . 
it would serve well as a tv-movie-of-the-week , possibly with some 1970's detective hero reprising his role . 
the appeal of the project for its stars and its director , robert benton , is nostalgia . 
 "" twilight "" wants very much to be a 1940's film noir with alan ladd or dick powell . 
all of the standard tropes are here : a hard-boiled p . i . 
among the rich and beautiful whose glamour hides sinister secrets , a femme fatale who tempts and confounds the hero , shadowy figures shooting from doorways , dead bodies confronting the hero at every turn , cops dogging his path and interfering with his investigation . 
the script offers little originality , and co-authors benton and richard russo seem unaware that what was original in 1948 is a clich ? in 1998 . 
elmer bernstein's score is hauntingly melodic and could have been drawn note-for-note from a vintage noir . 
the lead actors try hard-none of the three has every made less than a full effort , even when burdened with a bad script . 
they try to invest every line and gesture with meaning , and they create a convincing sense of the relationships between the main characters . 
harry is fond of jack but is in love with catherine . 
jack is dying of cancer and is jealous of harry's love for catherine . 
catherine teases harry and enjoys his attention , but her real feelings are hidden beneath a carefully-maintained veneer . 
 "" twilight "" wants to be character-driven like "" nobody's fool "" ( also directed by benton , also starring newman , based on a novel by russo ) was , but the tired script gives the actors too little to work with . 
 "" twilight "" also squanders a fine supporting cast : stockard channing ( harry's friend on the police force ) , reese witherspoon ( jack & catherine's bratty kid ) , giancarlo esposito ( the humorous sidekick ) , john spencer ( harry's nemesis on the force ) , liev schreiber and margo martindale ( the blackmailers ) , and james garner ( a cop who bailed movie stars out of trouble ) . 
"
"-1","there was probably a good reason that the warner bros . studio chose not to allow critics to view this steven seagal film when it first opened . 
and , after seeing this piece of toxic waste , i now know why . 
this movie is by far the worst offering that has hit the screen since possibly those ernest movies years ago . 
fire down below centers its story on a little mining town in god's country , somewhere in eastern kentucky . 
it's beauty and natural goodness is being slowly destroyed by an uncaring mining magnate ( kris kristopherson , who constantly looks like he wants to kill his agent for getting him this role ) . 
it turns out that he's filling the mines throughout kentucky with toxic waste for a tidy profit . 
seagal plays jack taggert , an aikido-versed , fighting machine , who is an agent with the epa . 
no . . . not the cia nor the fbi nor the nsa . 
it's the environmental protection agency . 
i had no idea that epa agents were trained to be killers ! 
taggert is sent to find the perpetrators and to bring them to justice . 
written by someone named jeb , i could already envision the stereotypes of incestuous relationships , banjo-picking preachers , and dumb-as-nails rednecks . 
but the script puts seagal right smack dab in the middle of all of these scenarios as he tries to discreetly fit in . 
seagal's idea of a disguise is a long-length $1000 leather jacket . 
but to get closer to the kinfolk , he will fix people's porches for free . 
that's another great epa asset - teaching agents how to fix porches . 
slow and plodding , this project is a total mess . 
the sometimes allure of watching seagal is watching him outmaneuver enemies that outnumber and outgun him like in under seige . 
here , his bravado basically turns into bullyness . 
townsfolk who are foolish enough to challenge seagal are quickly subdued . 
fight scenes are quick and senseless and offers no enjoyment value whatsoever . 
and his soap box message wears thin within the first 15 minutes . 
the most annoying moment comes when he barges into the middle of a sunday church ceremony , gets behind the pulpit , and beseeches the townsfolk to take control of their lives and to help clean up the environment . 
but the epitome of how moralistically mushy this film gets happens when the person responsible for the toxic dumping , kristopherson , meets up with seagal . 
kristopherson asks seagal how much it will take for him to go away . 
seagal gallantly replies : "" i'll leave when you take the poison from the streams and the earth . "" 
i was expecting patriotic music to start blasting and a show of fireworks in the background . 
this is truly nothing more than a pompous showcase for seagal's righteousness and narcissistic arrogance . 
seagal has been vanguard in trying to bring a new genre into the filmplace , that of the enviro-thriller ( on deadly ground ) . 
however , the message will never come across through poorly developed vehicles like this . 
still , i believe in preserving mother earth , so save your $5 and please donate it instead to some worthy environmentally conscious charity . 
"
"-1","tom dicillo directs this superficial comedy about superficial people in superficial careers , all searching for deeper meaning . 
however , they won't find much meaning in the real blonde , and not enough real humor , either . 
joe ( matthew modine ) is a struggling actor , or he claims to be one , even though he has no credits under his belt . 
his girlfriend , mary ( catherine keener ) has no pretensions about her career : she's a makeup artist , working for the eccentric fashion photographer blair ( marlo thomas ) and supermodel of the month , sahara ( bridgette wilson ) . 
sahara , who has acquired a new age spirituality from repeated viewing of the little mermaid , has an on-again , off-again relationship with joe's best friend , bob ( maxwell caulfield ) . 
however , bob has gotten his biggest break yet : a starring role on a soap opera opposite the beautiful kelly ( daryl hannah ) , who may be that illusive woman he's always pursued : a real blonde . 
there are some moments of good humor in the real blonde , but not enough . 
the best stuff is in throwaway details in the background , such as sahara's perfume ads : "" depression - it's not just a state of mind "" . 
but to find humor in the superficiality of models and actors is to shoot fish in a barrel . 
and , unfortunately , the film's forays outside the realm of comedy are pathetic . 
take for example the film's framing device of an old lady and her dog . 
the story serves absolutely no purpose , makes little sense , and is completely tangential to the main plotlines of the movie . 
matthew modine and catherine keener have the most sympathetic characters in the film , but they're stuck in the most boring plotlines . 
modine whines and complains and would be completely pathetic if he was matched against someone stronger than elizabeth berkley , who appears as another struggling actor . 
keener's character has a stronger edge , but the insult self-defense class ( taught by denis leary , no less ) she is stuck in makes little sense . 
the movie's running time is under two hours , but it seems like it is well over it . 
there's just not enough humor to speed things along , and not enough meaning to propel any drama . 
"
"-1","the ads for "" batman and robin "" scream "" the event of the summer is here "" and that's the problem . 
the producers were apparently so intent on creating a spectacle that they forgot to put an actual movie inside of it . 
 "" batman and robin "" is 126 minutes of lavish sets , flashy costumes and big , confusing fight scenes with barely a hint of substance . 
it's like one of those cheesy kings island stage shows ; bright , busy and visually diverting , but not very much fun . 
it wasn't always this way . 
tim burton's "" batman "" was an epic story of obsession and duality , of darkness and revenge . 
the film , while far from perfect , was a striking mood piece with an otherworldly feel . 
batman was a creepy , brooding creature of the night . 
the joker , brilliantly overplayed by jack nicholson , was at once charismatic and repellent . 
batman and the joker were opposite sides of the same coin , battling inner demons and one another over gotham city's breathtaking gothic skyline . 
those days of the dark knight are gone , replaced by a psychedelic ice capades run amuck . 
 "" batman and robin "" has far more in common with the campy 60's batman tv show than with tim burton's tale of darkness . 
the blame lies with director joel schumacher . 
a former window-dresser , schumacher is adept at decorating sets and dressing people in exotic costumes . 
unfortunately , when it comes time to have those people walk and talk , he hasn't the faintest notion of what to do . 
 "" batman and robin "" is overstuffed with intricately choreographed fight scenes so poorly edited that it's often difficult to tell who's whacking who . 
while the characters flail at each other , one-liners and bad puns are tossed about like confetti . 
a few carefully placed jokes can set an action movie sailing , but too many wisecracks can undermine the momentum of a film . 
 "" batman and robin "" doesn't merely lose momentum , it stalls out completely on several occasions . 
it's rare to see an action flick as sluggish as this one . 
ironically , the parts of "" batman and robin "" that work are the ones showing the characters in street clothing , and most of those succeed because of george clooney as bruce wayne . 
easily the best batman yet , clooney's expressive eyes and weary smile gives the character a sense of depth that the script doesn't even hint at . 
the film's most effective scene is a tender , quiet exchange between clooney and alfred ( michael gough ) , bruce wayne's butler and surrogate father . 
as for the other heroes , chris o'donnell's robin is enthusiastic , perky and horny as hell , while pudgy alicia silverstone is hard to accept as an athlete in her debut as batgirl . 
in a movie filled to the brim with major characters , the decision to add the entirely unnecessary batgirl and elle macpherson as bruce wayne's girlfriend is puzzling . 
i suspect the producers inserted the women in an attempt to convince audiences that two guys who run around in rubber suits with built-in nipples , shapely buttocks and huge codpieces are actually straight . 
of course , the real stars of a batman film are the villains and that's where "" batman and robin "" really suffers . 
as mr . freeze , arnold schwarzenegger gives his worst performance in years , spitting out a stream of lame catch phrases in wooden fashion . 
laboring under a ton of appliances , schwarzenegger looks as if he's having trouble even moving in his suit , let alone trying to act . 
uma thurman fares somewhat better as poison ivy . 
she overacts terribly in the early establishing scenes of her character ( it's apparently a rule in the batman series that before a person becomes a villain , s/he must be a cartoonish , bumbling nerd ) . 
once thurman transforms into the eco-psychotic poison ivy , she does a nice mae west impersonation as a classic vamp who can seduce men with her breath and kill them with a kiss . 
thurman fails to maintain the character's maniacal sense of style though , and ends up merely sputtering her way through the latter scenes of the film . 
the biggest lesson to be learned from "" batman and robin "" is that more is not better . 
joel schumacher fills the screen with eye candy ; but the technicolor overkill merely emphasizes what a trifle the film really is . 
some critics suggest that the batman series has run out of steam . 
i don't think so . 
my prescription ? 
fire joel schumacher ( but offer him a ticket to a rubber fetishist's convention so he'll understand that there's no hard feelings ) . 
give alicia silverstone her walking papers , while keeping clooney , o'donnell and michael gough . 
call jack nicholson and michelle pfieffer and beg them to reprise their roles as the joker and catwoman . 
then , ditch the campiness and , for the love of pete , lose the "" event "" mentality and make a movie instead of a spectacle next time . 
"
"-1"," "" gordy "" is not a movie , it is a 90-minute-long "" sesame street "" skit , and a very bad one at that . 
this movie is so stupid and dumb that it's depressing to think that some hollywood executives actually gave this the green light , and even more surprising is the fact that this is a disney movie . 
i'm sure children are the target audience of this movie , but only kids under the age of five may be able to tolerate it . 
it is the story of a farm a piglet named gordy ( voiced by garms ) , whose family has been taken away to "" up north , "" which we know means death . 
of course we can hear the animals talk to each other , and they actually went to the trouble of attempting to sync the voices with their mouths but it comes out terrible . 
actually , it's almost funny in a way . 
the only remotely interesting and likable character soon appears , a little girl named jinnie sue macallister ( young ) who sees gordy on the back of a truck and essentially steals him . 
jinnie is a country singer and the film goes off on a huge tangent to show her little concert and the people dancing to it . 
what is the point of this ? 
maybe she is one of the producer's relatives and they wanted to show her on camera to promote her or something . 
we then cut to a huge social gathering and drop in on another young kid named hank royce ( roescher ) who is sad because his divorced mother is dating . 
he leaves the party and meets jinnie sue , but he accidentally falls in a pool ( probably because he was sitting on the diving board with a $200 suit on - nah , didn't see that one coming ! ) , 
starts to drown , and is miraculously saved as gordy pushes an inflatable float over to him and saves him . 
if this had not been insanely stupid already the story quickly changes when jinnie gives gordy to hank who then ends up becoming the ceo of a food processing corporation when hank's grandfather , the original ceo , dies and leaves his fortune to hank . . . 
and gordy ! 
of course there must be a villain , but even this villain ( donadio as sipes ) isn't that evil . 
he never raises his voice or becomes angry , and of course he has the typical idiot goons kidnap gordy but this is just so beyond stupid and cartoony we are constantly two steps ahead of the story . 
it's hard to tell whether the overall corniness and cheesiness to the movie is intentional because it is a family film , or if the filmmaker's are just this untalented and stupid . 
at times "" gordy "" is tolerable to watch , thus earning it one star and not the dreaded "" z- . "" 
but it's just so unbelievably boring , cliche , dumb , unfunny , corny , and just plain bad it may scare children , it certainly disturbed me . 
 ( 4/21/96 ) ( 1/29/97 ) ( 6/13/97 ) [see also : "" babe "" ] 
"
"-1","senseless ( r ) marlon wayans is a very talented physical comedian , and it is that gift that brings senseless moments of life . 
alas , moments are simply that , moments , which are not enough to lift this fantasy/comedy above its one-joke premise . 
granted , that one joke is initially amusing . 
when wayans's darryl witherspoon , an economics major at stratford university , hits some dire financial straits , he becomes a guinea pig for a experimental drug that heightens all five senses . 
after some initial side effects and problems controlling his superhuman senses , darryl learns to enjoy the benefits of his abilities and uses them to land a position at a highly esteemed corporate firm . 
at this point , the film sounds more like senseful than senseless , but through some turns of the plot , darryl finds himself only able to use four of his five senses at once , essentially leaving him--yes--senseless . 
this sets up some showcase moments for wayans's gift for physical comedy , especially when darryl loses his sense of feeling and his body goes completely , hilariously limp . 
but these gags , and the gag behind the entire movie , quickly grows stale . 
once darryl is shown without the use of all of the senses , instead of exploring any new comic territory , director penelope spheeris and screenwriters greg erb and craig mazin take the easy way out and simply recycle each form of senselessness . 
wayans approaches each go-round with gusto , but by this point he's simply treading water for the rest of the film's unfunny duration . 
senseless would not be as problematic as it is if it didn't strive to be anything more than a comic trifle . 
however , the raucous and often raunchy comedy is wrapped in a blanket of bogus sincerity . 
darryl goes through the experiment in order to help his cash-strapped family , and this "" serious "" angle seems to come from an entirely different movie . 
unlike wayans's last starring vehicle , the surprisingly effective ( and serious ) the 6th man , the "" emotional "" content of senseless is forced and unconvincing . 
any attempt at anything more substantial than broad comedy fizzles--darryl's romance with janice ( tamara taylor ) , a young woman who yearns for a man who is true to himself , does not generate sparks of any kind . 
once his wb television sitcom the wayans bros . comes to an end , the genuinely funny marlon wayans has a promising big-screen future ahead of him . 
but if he continues to associate himself with projects as flat as senseless , his film career could go the way of his once-promising older brother , damon , who is now set to make his comeback--on television . 
"
"-1","a slight romantic comedy with a feminist bent , but one with no edge to it . 
it turns out to be a conventional film filled with the usual clich ? s and stock characters of this genre . 
though it's a well-written and well-acted fluff piece , it still does not have too much to say that is surprising . 
it's made for the gentle art-house set , those who don't want something too disturbing to think about . 
it's about a critically successful writer husband , alec ( pryce ) , who is so self-absorbed that he's threatened by his department store floor-walking model wife , kate ( bouquet ) , who wants to be a writer . 
she meets his crass publisher , vanni corso ( walken ) , another self-absorbed man , and a predictable relationship occurs . 
the fireworks occur because she outgrows her husband's first impressions of her as someone who was impressed with his genius and worships at his feet . 
she now wants her own identity and her independence . 
the film looked like the usual sitcom stuff , and is plagued with the cheap set design features reserved for a tv movie . 
the film sagged in the middle of the story from the weight of its tedium , and eventually landed on its rear end with its unspectacular climax . 
it's set in london , and it opens as model kate rebuffs sexual advances by a wealthy american shopper , vanni . 
she later meets him as her hubby's new upstart publisher who seeks to have her intellectual author husband in his stable in order to give him credibility as a publisher of quality , and he quickly wins favor with her by publishing her vanity novel . 
alec who is an obnoxious grouse , someone whom it seems it would be impossible to live with , tries to do everything to stop his wife from having her book published--which only pushes her into the grasping arms of vanni . 
the publisher is proud that he's a mamma's boy who never married and is a self-made man who has earned millions . 
he has recently acquired a failing old london publishing house and plans to revitalize it , as he proudly tells kate : "" if my father could sell pizzas in harlem , i could sell culture in europe . "" 
the only thing that couldn't be sold , is this stiff story and tired plot line . 
the mystery to me , is how the lovely kate could like either man unless she was an insensitive dummy . 
she soon divorces the beleaguered alec and marries the soon-to-become-beleaguered vanni . 
when she writes a second novel , he rebuffs her the same way her first hubby did . 
it ends with the same results that happened to hubby number one , as its story of ambition and lust winds down in a whimper . 
a business affair was loosely based on the real-life literary and romantic travails of married authors barbara skelton and cyril connolly , in their celebrated 1950s love triangle . 
"
"-1","if you're the kind of person who goes to see movies just because you long for some of that overpriced theatre popcorn ( butter optional ) , then this is the movie for you ! 
indeed , this has got to be either one of the most unimaginative rip-offs of other recent action movies , or an incredibly unfunny spoof of them . 
it's difficult to fathom such insipidness unless you actually watch this film . 
but at least we're warned very quickly that we may regret our ticket purchase , giving us an opportunity to sneak on out and into the adjacent show . 
what are the four ingredients of a really bad action movie ? 
first , the movie gives us an introductory premise . 
huge caverns exist deep beneath the ocean floor , and in this area , many ships have disappeared . 
oooh . . . scary ! 
secondly , a cheesy soundtrack tries to connote a tone of mystery , but only succeeds in drowning our ears with an abrasive musical score . 
third , the main character is a mercenary that delivers goods without asking about the contents of his cargo ( treat williams ) . 
he operates a sophisticated military-style pt boat and every word that comes out of his mouth is awash in comical flippancy . 
finally , in the cargo hold , we see those that hired him . 
they are also mercenaries that have tough-looking haircuts , talk with accents , and try to show how macho they are . 
during their trip across the stormy sea , their boat suffers an incident and requires repairs . 
spotting a cruise ship in the distance , they make their way to the ocean liner and devise a plan to raid the machine shop , take the parts that they need , and then continue on their merry way . 
little do they know that this cruise ship has become infested by some kind of ocean monster . 
yet , they board the ship armed to the hilt with grenades and machine guns that can kill dozens in a matter of seconds . 
this is nothing more than a by-the-book action film . 
their realization of the situation that they're in doesn't happen until they are in the bowels of the boat . 
those who are dumb enough to stray off on their own will ultimately get killed . 
the corridors on the ship are narrow , misty , and provide the kind of atmosphere that all scare-fests must have . 
yet , despite the predictable nature of this film , there are some scary "" boo "" moments . 
but most of it is just outright silly . 
and this film is unusually gory too . 
monsters basically suck off the flesh and spit out skeletal remains . 
there is one particularly neat scene where a monster has been cut apart and reveals a victim that is still alive . 
he screams horribly as the monster's digestive juices continue to slowly eat him away . 
additionally , it borrows heavily from speed2 , alien and a bunch of other recent films . 
the mercenaries even run into a lone , surviving passenger ( femke jannsen ) who looks amazingly like sandra bullock . 
to be honest , when i left the theatre , i just had to laugh at how witless the film was . 
it's moronic fun at best . 
so , if you're hankering for a large bucket of popcorn served with a side of silliness , then this might just hit the spot . 
"
"-1","synopsis : when a meteorite crashlands in the arizona desert , community college professors ira kane ( duchovny ) and harry block ( jones ) are first on the scene . 
they discover that an alien lifeform has arisen from the rock and is evolving at an amazing rate . 
soon the army , advised by dr allison reed ( moore ) , moves in and forces kane and block out . 
but when the aliens begin to menace society , it may take the scientists' combined efforts to stop them before they terminate the evolution of another lifeform : humanity . 
review : "" evolution "" certainly has the ingredients for a decent comedy . 
it's directed by reitman , clearly trying to parlay his "" ghostbusters "" success into a twenty-first-century counterpart . 
it stars duchovny , and although one might question his judgment in lampooning his "" x-files "" character so soon after leaving the tv series , it should certainly provide him with plenty of ammunition . 
and then there's moore , who may not have much prior experience in comedy , but who has certainly proven her ability as an actress . 
a shame , then , that it all deteriorates into such a hopelessly unfunny morass . 
 "" evolution "" is a movie more concerned with its special effects ( which are quite good ) than anything resembling a consistently funny script . 
it has its moments ( a scene in which jones' body is invaded by an alien is particularly entertaining ) , but there are embarrassingly long stretches that are utterly devoid of humour . 
moore is totally wasted , her clumsy shtick getting very old , very fast . 
duchovny has stunningly little in the way of material to work with . 
and the story is so formulaic , it could have been written by monkeys . 
part of what made "" ghostbusters "" so wonderful was a combination of a great script and characters the audience could root for . 
 "" evolution "" is so mind-numbingly tedious that it's difficult not to start cheering for the aliens . 
"
"-1","deceiver is a plot twist in search of a movie . 
this overly constructed film succeeds in having many surprises , and , being true to its title , being deceptive . 
but there is little in the film that is worthy of deceit . 
braxton ( chris penn ) and kennesaw ( michael rooker ) are two cops investigating the brutal murder of a prostitute ( renee zellweger ) . 
their lone suspect is wayland ( tim roth ) , a wealthy young man whose phone number was found in the hooker's pocket . 
however , a routine lie detector test turns against the investigators , as the crafty wayland somehow turns the tables . 
braxton and kennesaw are forced to confront their own troubled lives . 
braxton is a gambling addict in deep to mook ( ellen burstyn ) , a local bookie . 
kennesaw is bitter about his marriage to a socialite ( rosanna arquette ) , believing his wife to be unfaithful . 
the plot is twisty and complex , with lots of lengthy flashbacks , and plenty of surprises . 
however , there are times when it is needlessly complex , and at least one instance the storytelling turns so muddled that the answers to important plot points actually get lost . 
take a look at l . a . confidential , or the film's more likely inspiration , the usual suspects for how a complex plot can properly be handled . 
the dialogue in deceiver is as overcrafted as the plot . 
for example , the film tells a few substories ( such as the tale of a woeful absinthe bender , or an alternative telling of how van gogh lost his ear ) , but they are so flat and so plastic that they come off as prefabricated and unbelievable . 
there's never the sense that these are real characters engaging in conversation . 
they appear to be nothing more than words on a screenplay . 
the characters , themselves , are rather pathetic and despicable . 
not one of them is an ounce sympathetic , and as a result , the labyrinthine plot is all for naught . 
what does it matter who is guilty of what and why ? 
writer-directors josh and jonas pate seem to desire to emulate the coen brothers' masterwork blood simple , or the wachowski brothers' less worthy bound . 
but , while they have got the plot twists down cold , they need to work on characterization and dialogue . 
"
"-1","this is the kind of movie that makes one appreciate disney's live- action george of the jungle . 
tarzan and the lost city , the latest attempt to bring edgar rice burrough's legendary hero to the big screen , is one of the most inept and ill-timed of any tarzan adventure so far . 
badly conceived and poorly executed , tarzan and the lost city appears headed for a quick trip to video store shelves . 
i have no idea why the producers chose now to bring back tarzan ; it's not as if there are legions of new fans clamoring for his next movie . 
furthermore , it's even more curious that this film is rated pg , which , by definition , rules out any sex or explicit violence . 
and , while i'm not advocating the excesses embraced by the 1981 bo derek version of the story , tarzan deserves a slightly more adult approach than the one used in the embarrassing production . 
of course , no tweaking of the content to change the rating could have saved tarzan and the lost city , since the film's troubles originated with the script and were propagated all the way down the line . 
imagine george of the jungle stripped of all ( intentional ) humor , and you have a fair idea of what this tarzan is like . 
with its uninspired action and tepid adventure sequences , the film barely registers a pulse . 
anyone in search of a relatively entertaining , family jungle adventure should check out the 1994 version of the jungle book , which uses the same basic elements to much better effect . 
the only worthwhile element of tarzan and the lost city is the pretty scenery ( which , unfortunately , includes the two lead actors ) . 
the film doesn't attempt to re-tell the origin story ? the thinking is that it has been done often enough . 
instead , tarzan and the lost city introduces us to lord graystoke a . k . a . john clayton a . k . a . tarzan the ape man ( casper van dien ) several days before his marriage to lady jane porter ( jane march ) . 
he is living happily in england , enjoying the benefits of being a land-owning noble . 
meanwhile , in central africa , the dastardly nigel ravens ( steven waddington ) , a self-proclaimed scholar and explorer , believes he has found the way to the lost city of opar , which he calls the cradle of civilization . 
on the way there , he and his band of mercenaries do all sorts of nasty things , like burning native villages , to earn the wrath of the locals . 
one shaman , determined to stop ravens from unearthing opal , sends a mystical message to tarzan for help . 
with lady jane following close behind , he returns to the jungle where he was born . 
its patently obvious that casper van dien ( one of the pretty-boy heroes of starship troopers ) was not hired on the basis of his acting ability . 
with his plastic facial expressions , monotone voice , and complete inability to make convincing animal noises , his range rivals that of steven seagal . 
his pecs , however , are impressive , and director carl schenkel makes sure that he is given every opportunity to show them off . 
jane march , on the other hand , has to keep her shirt on , which may be a first for her . 
some six years ago , march give a solid performance in jean jacques annaud's steamy the lover . 
since then , she made the career-killing decision of appearing opposite bruce willis in the color of night , which exploited her every acting defiency . 
tarzan continues this trend . 
march may be attractive , but , at least judging by this performance , she can't act . 
meanwhile , steven waddington has serious trouble summoning up the menace necessary to be a really detestable bad guy . 
instead , he turns out to be little more than a nuisance . 
the story line is pure formula , which has largely been true throughout the years for almost all of the tarzan movies . 
the problem is that this one seems so childish and lifeless . 
the romantic elements are all contrived ? in fact , lady jane's presence is necessary only so she can be captured and subsequently rescued by her buff fiance . 
the special effects are truly bottom-of-the-barrel ( including some laughably bad men in ape costumes ? apparently , animatronics were too expensive for this production ) . 
and , of course , as with all jungle movies , there are the obligatory cute animals . 
over the years , the legend of tarzan has been one of the most popular sources for film series material . 
the most famous ape man was johnny weismuller , but no less than two dozen other actors have essayed the part ( including gordon scott , who is widely believed to be the best actor to tackle the role ) . 
weismuller made 12 tarzan features ; van dien will probably fall 11 short of that number . 
and , having seen tarzan and the lost city , i would argue that the movie-going public would have been well served if he had missed by 12 . 
"
"-1"," "" desperate measures "" is a generic title for a film that's beyond generic . 
it's also a depressing waste of talent , with the solid team of michael keaton and andy garcia unthankfully thrown thankless lead roles , not to mention once-cool director barbet schroeder sadly continuing his string of not-cool flicks -- this thriller is more "" before and after "" than "" reversal of fortune . "" 
the movie is a big disappointment , and yet it's somewhat easy to see what motivated such big names to attach themselves to it -- the premise is both promising and intriguing . 
too bad the execution's all wrong , though , because the set-up of "" desperate measures "" boasts some rather enticing elements that deserve to be put to far better use . 
san francisco cop frank connor ( garcia ) is a single parent with a troubling dilemma -- his son matt ( joseph cross ) is stricken with cancer which only a bone marrow transplant can push into remission . 
even worse , the only compatible donor is violent sociopath peter mccabe ( michael keaton ) , currently serving a life sentence for multiple murders and other various crimes against society . 
connor tries his best to convince mccabe to go along with the surgery ; he's at first reluctant , but reconsiders after he realizes he can plan his escape at the hospital . 
when he does make a run for it , connor offers close pursuit , but for different reasons than his superiors ( including the crusty brian cox ) -- they want to take mccabe down , while connor needs to keep him alive , or all hope is lost for his little boy . 
one misstep "" desperate measures "" makes is in its underdevelopment of matt's illness . 
what's needed are more details as to exactly why mccabe is the only bone marrow match that works ; there would seem to be other possible contenders somewhere in the country , and thus many of the ways that connor endangers the lives of himself and those around him by attempting to keep mccabe alive are just a little too hard to swallow . 
take , for example , a scene where mccabe is trying to make a getaway by climbing over an elevated passage tunnel connecting two sections of the hospital . 
the police have their spotlight and guns aimed right on him , and what does connor do ? 
he shoots the spotlight out so that mccabe can continue his flight . 
connor knows very well what dangerous deeds this guy is capable of , and yet never seems to think that mccabe will eventually get to and try to harm his son . 
whatever . 
to be fair , though , the lack of story background is the least of the movie's problems . 
first and foremost is how cheaply "" desperate measures "" trades the potential of it's opening scenes for the routine action ballistics of its final hour . 
once mccabe escapes , the film becomes the fugitive in reverse and with no thrills . 
there are countless scenes where the good guys catch up to keaton only to have him grab a hostage and get away . 
also , the movie is so intent on giving you a hoot-inducing , lip-smacking villain ( the ads have compared peter mccabe to hannibal lechter , natch ) that it completely casts garcia's frank connor by the dullsville wayside ; "" desperate measures "" appears to like its antagonist so much more than its protagonist , and the movie's head-scratcher of a send-off confirms this . 
there is some good to be found amongst this mess , particularly in the acting department . 
cast against type , michael keaton's understated menace is highly effective . 
although he's not given much believable to work with , andy garcia plays off a taut emotional chord . 
joseph cross , as garicia's ailing son , is surprisingly unsentimental , and marcia gay harden lends solid support as a doctor who becomes a major player in the unfolding chaos . 
this cast does its best to camouflage the sorry plot as it chugs towards an inevitably happy ending , but most is lost . 
it goes without saying that "" desperate measures "" needs an operation of its very own . 
"
"-1","robin williams is a comedic genus . 
that is , he is one when he's in a film that allows him space to move . 
 "" flubber "" straps him in a straitjacket , covers him with duct tape , stuffs him in a coat closet and piles furniture against the door to make sure that he doesn't get out . 
in a re-make of its own 1961 "" absent minded professor "" , disney offers us proof that more is definitely less . 
recycling old films ( "" that darned cat "" , "" 101 dalmatians "" ) dressed up as new is the newest money machine from the home of the mouse that roared . 
professor phillip brainard ( williams ) is a terminally forgetful scientist teaching at a small college . 
his fiancee , sara jean reynolds ( marcia gay harden ) , president of the college is none too happy with him because he's left her waiting at the altar due to his lack of short-term -- and long-term -- memory . 
she's giving him one more chance . 
he blows that chance when he invents "" flubber "" ( flying rubber ) and is so excited by his discovery that sara jean is once again awaiting him in her white dress . 
his tardiness is helped along by his jealous flying robotic assistant who wants him all to herself . 
it's not all bad news . 
flubber is a green jello that can magnify and reflect energy that is applied to it . 
brainard realizes the commercial potential within the goo can save the school from bankruptcy and being taken over by the town's evil industrialist charles hoenicker ( raymond barry ) . 
while he's busy with his new breakthrough , the slighted sweetheart is being wooed by his sleazy rival wilson croft ( christopher mcdonald ) . 
there's a flying car , flubber-enhanced basketball game and an assortment of broken lab equipment : none of which are the least bit interesting or funny . 
at one point , my son looked around the audience and asked "" why are these people laughing ? "" 
although williams turns in one of his least inspired roles , he is easily the most lively of the actors . 
everyone else comes across as half-asleep . 
the re-make is successful in that respect . 
it feels like a bad disney movie from the sixties . 
i remember the original as being charming , but my guess is that the memory from almost four decades ago has been artificially enhanced by the years . 
there have been some updates . 
fred macmurray's flying model t has been replaced by a t-bird . 
his faithful dog charlie is now "" weebo "" , the hovering robot . 
the biggest change is that , with sophisticated computer animation , we now can have films show off special effects without being at all entertaining . 
flubber is anthropomorphized into a being supposedly with personality . 
the gloop has little arms and legs and splits into tiny little gloopettes for a big dance number . 
this has nothing to do with the story . 
the only possible reason is to create merchandising opportunities so that kids can badger their parents into taking them to mcdonalds for the toys . 
not that contributing little to the plot is a big problem . 
there are very few aspects of the film that move the story and those that do don't make sense . 
the discovery of flubber is going to save the college because brainard can sell his flying car to ford . 
anyone with half a brain would be able to see that his intelligent flying automaton is worth billions . 
it's unbelievable that his lover ( well , probably not a lover -- after all this is disney ) starts dating croft after the aborted wedding . 
there's not one appealing component of this man . 
after the professor discovers that smearing a golf ball with the gunk causes it to bounce uncontrollably around his lab wreaking havoc , i cringed as he picked up a bowling ball . 
this guy is beyond forgetful , venturing into the certifiable . 
co-writer john hughes used to direct light-weight but thoughtful teen films . 
the care behind "" pretty in pink "" and "" the breakfast club "" all went out the window after his "" home alone "" franchise heated up the box offices . 
looking much like "" home alone 3 1/2 "" , "" flubber "" even features a couple of vapid goons who get banged around and a cute little boy who screams a lot . 
in some ways , it's difficult to judge this film . 
i have a suspicion that i'm not it's target audience . 
after all , i measure my age in two digits . 
"
"-1","ever watch a very young child try and tell a joke that is beyond his , or her , sophistication ? 
it's full of stops and starts and usually , the punch line is ruined . 
i felt the same way watching drowning mona . 
skip a stone across water and you approximate the depth of this attempt at an ensemble comedy . 
there are some slightly successful attempts at humor , but they only serve as window dressing . 
there is a running gag about the town , verplanck , n . y . , being a test town for the then new yugo . 
everyone drives a yugo , differentiating their cars with personalized license plates . 
even the police chief drives one . 
there is a certain sublimeness to the image of a lights and siren decked out yugo skittering its way through the town streets . 
there also is a running gag about one of the characters , jeff , missing a hand and how it occurred . 
it pokes gentle fun at the notion of urban legends . 
it turns out the truth is more horrifying than any legend . 
there are some sight gags that pop up as well , such as mona's tombstone , which reads "" demoted "" , instead of devoted . 
still , the core of the story maintains the flatness of a still pond . 
the lynchpin of the film falls on the redundant and sporadic scenes involving mona ( midler ) . 
each scene with her is the same : scream at someone , hit someone , then scream some more . 
there's no uniqueness or modulation to her or explanation for her meanness . 
anyone off the street could have played the role , such as it is . 
the other characters are walking cardboard cutouts . 
each one is defined by one trait and no further attempt is made at deeper characterization . 
there is a burly , female car mechanic , so of course , there is a forced lesbianism gag . 
mona's son , jeff ( marcus thomas ) is a simpleton , hence you can predict his dialogue before it even plods its way from his mouth . 
chief of police rash ( devito ) likes broadway musicals and loves his daughter . 
there's nothing more to him . 
elle , the chief's daughter ( campbell ) , is bland personified , a dutiful girl with no higher aspiration than to have a child and be married . 
mona's husband phil ( fichtner ) jeckle and hydes from shirking coward to reptilian letch . 
bob ( affleck ) , elle's betrothed , and business partner to jeff , is a mumbling , obvious dullard . 
there is no contrast to any of the characters . 
by having at least one character with some wit , or wits , to serve as counterpoint to the others , perhaps steinfeld's attempt at satirizing a small town infested with ambitionless people might have come off better . 
ostensibly a murder mystery , drowning mona gives you almost all the clues immediately , then lets you sit back and feel superior as you watch the cast of paper people fumble their way to finding the killer , who could be anyone due to mona's loving manner with everyone on town . 
even that aspect of the film fails , throwing in a convenient , ridiculous and unsatisfying wrap to things . 
it's been a while since i walked away from a movie theater in an angry mood . 
what makes it all the more remarkable is that i rarely remember a comedy making me so angry for wasting my time at it's ineptitude . 
"
"-1","what are we going to do with jim carrey ? 
viewers of television's "" in living color "" know this one-man cartoon from such characters as fire marshall bill . 
viewers also know that "" in living color "" is a skit-show and that a little of jim carrey goes a long way . 
unfortunately , this fact was forgotten by the makers of the carrey comedy ace ventura : pet detective . 
three writers , including carrey , worked on the slapstick story , which sends a self-styled "" pet detective "" on the trail of a stolen dolphin . 
the missing mammal belongs to the miami dolphins , who need their mascot for the upcoming superbowl . 
for plot porpoises , this story works as well as any three stooges short . 
carrey gets to do his "" official "" schtick as he snoops around greater miami . 
he leers and sneers , craning his neck to funny effect . 
he even does his captain kirk impersonation . 
again . 
all of this is pretty harmless stuff up until the point that you realize that the writers have absolutely no intention of focusing on anyone * other * than carrey . 
 ( suggested alternate title--jim carrey : will do anything for a laugh . ) 
export it to france and you may have a hit . 
as it stands , ace ventura isn't even good kid's stuff . 
the profanity count , alone , is too high . 
which is ironic , since children are , probably , carrey's best audience . 
the film doesn't even have the goofball charm of chris elliott's recent no-brainer cabin boy . 
sure , carrey has his moments . 
but what can you say about a film whose high-points include watching carrey slink around to the theme from "" mission impossible ? "" 
ace ventura has one glaring incongruity . 
amid the butt-jokes and double-takes , the script takes great pains to set-up an elaborate and rather funny "" crying game "" gag . 
and , for * this * intended audience , that takes ( ahem ) cojones . 
"
"-1","there are some pretty impressive stars in lost in space - it's just that none of them happen to be actors . 
the stars i'm referring to are the computer generated ones that make up the movie's "" outer space "" ; the stars that the less impressive actors hurtle thru as they try to find their way home . 
yes , in terms of acting , the star power is . 
 . 
 . 
well , more like a falling star . 
kinda pretty , short-lived , and pretty much dead . 
lost in space , as if you really didn't know , is based on the 60's sci-fi television series of the same name . 
it's the year 2058 , and earth's precious resources are quickly being usurped by the needs of its massive population . 
john robinson ( william hurt ) is the scientist leading a mission program to colonize a foreign planet . 
earth's entire existance is contingent upon a successful mission , but nobody , whether it be john's family or hired battle pilot don west ( matt leblanc ) , seems too enthusiastic about leaving their home planet for several years . 
john's family consists of his wife maureen ( mimi rogers ) , his atypical teenage daughter penny ( lacey chabert ) , his ingenious son will ( jack johnson ) , and his beautiful scientist daughter judy ( heather graham ) . 
despite everyone's reluctance , the jupiter 2 spacecraft abandons planet earth and makes its way into the vast eternity of space . 
unknown to anyone but the audience , there is an evil doctor stowaway determined to sabotage the entire mission . 
dr . smith ( gary oldman ) has been hired by a group of rebel conspirators to turn the expedition sour , and dr . smith has re-programmed a talking robot to "" destroy robinson family "" ! 
when everything that could go wrong does go wrong for both sides , the spaceship is warped to an unknown destination , and now the premise of being lost in space is complete . 
as for the audience , you will likely be lost in boredom by this point , wondering if the plot , like the jupiter 2 , will ever get off the ground . 
it's hard to tell who deserves the most blame - the incredibly bland and corny characters or the horrifically lame script ? 
chabert is basically the only one to overdo it , sounding like a whiny munchkin on helium . 
if you , like me , were convinced by commercials that her voice was altered for some sort of plot twist where her body would be taken over by aliens , you're wrong ! 
that's just her normal voice ! 
in yet another example of a "" friend "" faltering on the big screen , leblanc is so incredibly dull and yet so obviously trying so hard to be so incredibly charming ( make sense ? ) , it makes you want to shove his ass out the escape pod corridor without an escape pod . 
graham is a babe - thank goodness there was something for me to think about during this film . 
hurt , the black hole of excitement , sucks up any energy that might have been left . 
if hurt were available in tablet form , he would be a prescription strength sleeping pill . 
johnson isn't dull , he's just lame as the young know it all who winds up saving everybody's ass all the time . 
want an example of how cool this kid can be ? 
how about when he convinces the robot to think with its heart and reconsider killing the family ? 
hey , don't laugh - the thing actually listened to the mr . rogers-would-be-proud sentiment . 
but alas , if you thought a character couldn't be much worse , there was rogers as the epitome of generic ( or , mother as she was known ) . 
why hire an actress ? 
they could've had a white cardboard cutout with the word mom printed on it . 
now that would've had some pizzazz ! 
lost in space luckily doesn't suffer in every single category that it could have . 
the special effects are crisp , clear , and at least mildly captivating , unlike any of the presences onscreen save it be oldman , who plays his evil character with a great deal of fun and finesse . 
unfortunately , oldman is locked away for most of the film , giving us nothing but ample mocking opportunities to enjoy . 
while the special effects are pleasing to the eye , they are nothing you couldn't find in most modern sci-fi films . 
contact , for example , far exceeds this film in terms of imagery and imagination . 
lost in space just has too many shortcomings to ever be considered a work of cinematic art , with numerous contradictions ( the time travel aspect was horribly flawed ! ) , wooden and corny acting , worse dialogue , and an ending so disappointing , you'd be happier to have seen the entire robinson family get blown to smithereens . 
then again , with an ending like this film has , it's obvious a sequel is already being considered . 
what an awful note to end on , knowing there could be more of this in a year or two . 
the attempt to be family oriented is commendable , but lost in space is lost with the illusion that special effects and the nostalgia of a classic tv series being revisited is enough to satisfy all age groups . 
well , danger potential movie goers ! 
danger ! 
this movie crash lands without ever breaking thru the atmosphere of mediocrity . 
"
"-1","so , it's thirty years later , and oscar and felix are together again . 
that might have been an exciting notion if it wasn't for the fact that the "" odd couple "" of jack lemmon and walter matthau have been reunited in several recent movies : 1993's "" grumpy old men , "" 1995's "" grumpier old men , "" and 1997's "" out to sea "" ( i . e . 
 "" grumpiest old men "" ) . 
so , "" the odd couple ii "" ( i . e . 
 "" the grumpiest old men of all , really "" ) seems just another entry in a tired series . 
the plot is even similar to that of "" grumpy old men "" in that lemmon and matthau's mismatched characters are brought together by a romance between their children . 
oscar's son ( jonathan silverman ) and felix's daughter ( lisa waltz ) are getting married , and former roommates felix ungar ( lemmon ) and oscar madison ( matthau ) meet at the airport and decide to share a car . 
 . 
 . 
then hilarity ensues . 
well , a few chuckles ensue anyway . 
neil simon , the award-winning playwright who created oscar and felix , provides the screenplay , which is a shock , because the script is a piece of talentless hackwork from beginning to end . 
unlike the original play/movie , "" odd couple ii "" doesn't find its humor in the personality conflict of its characters . 
instead , it depends upon a series of humorous situations : oscar and felix lose the car over a cliff , are caught smuggling mexicans over the border , take up with two women on the run from their violent husbands ( the women are played by christine baranski of "" cybill "" and jean smart of "" designing women "" ) , and hitch a ride with a man who dies in the desert . 
the original 1968 movie "" the odd couple "" remains a classic comedy . 
it introduced the motif of roommate-as-spouse that has provided gags for movies and sitcoms ever since . 
it was the second outing for the lemmon/matthau team ( which debuted in 1966's "" the fortune cookie "" ) , and they made a couple more worthwhile comedies , "" the front page "" ( 1974 ) and "" buddy buddy "" ( 1981 ) , before going their separate ways . 
the reunion of lemmon and matthau in "" grumpy old men "" six years ago was delightful , and its sequel seemed appropriate because it tied up some loose ends from the first movie . 
but "" out to sea "" and "" the odd couple ii "" are just beating a grumpy old horse . 
 ( you can add lemmon's "" my fellow americans , "" i . e . 
 "" grumpy old presidents , "" to that list , too . ) 
let's hope that hollywood offers these two actors something fresh to do . 
let's hope also that we see neil simon's name on movies that do it justice ( this is his first since 1993's "" lost in yonkers "" ) . 
"
"-1","except for a few bright moments of good verbal comedy , that old feeling is embarrassing to sit through . 
bette midler and dennis farina play lilly and dan , actress and author , once married , now violently divorced , and back together one last time for their daughter molly's ( paula marshall ) wedding . 
lilly and dan hate each other passionately -- so passionately that they have sex at the wedding and fall in love again . 
each ditches his or her current spouse of 14 years and runs off with the other . 
molly , married now only 24 hours , runs off in search of her irresponsible parents while her husband keith ( jamie denton ) tries to console the abandoned spouses . 
in molly's search for her parents , she somehow falls in love with lilly's paparazzo joey ( danny nucci ) . 
meanwhile , the newlywed keith ends up consoling dan's wife rowena ( gail o'grady ) in bed . 
the audience i saw this with apparently thought that all the adultery was hilarious . 
i'm no dan quayle , but i thought it was a bit creepy . 
the message seemed to be "" ignore your responsibilities unrepentantly and have fun fucking who you wish . "" 
 "" family values "" aside , there's something cruel about all this . 
perhaps this movie would have played well as a black comedy , but the movie is a romantic comedy . 
we are supposed to be rooting for these creeps . 
reiner and screenwriter leslie dixon tried to make it easier on us by making the victims unlikeable . 
lilly's husband is a new-age flake who rambles about "" emotional valet parking , "" so we can write him off as irrelevant . 
dan's wife is vain , manipulative , and jealous so we can write her off as a bitch . 
molly's husband is a career-conscious , self-centered republican politician who thinks she's too fat ( and just for good measure , he also fucked dan's wife ) , so we can write him off as a prick . 
everyone else falls in love . 
but still , that somehow doesn't justify the actions of the movie's main characters . 
 "" he's a prick "" or "" she's a bitch "" is no defense . 
the movie is somewhat redeemed by some funny dialog -- often during heated arguments -- and by above-average performances by midler and farina ( breaking out of his character-actor mold ) . 
other than that , it's a standard romantic comedy with a very substandard gimmick . 
"
"-1","maybe this mission should have been scrubbed 
mission to mars 
a film review by michael redman copyright 2000 by michael redman 
there's a world of difference between artists and technicians . 
the artist has a vision to create something new . 
he may not do it well , it might be sloppy , but it's something you've never seen before . 
a good technician can make it look good , but without direction from his own inner artist or someone else , it's going to be just a xerox . 
obviously successful films need both skills . 
brian de palma is a masterful technician . 
he's spent his career copying others , most notably hitchcock . 
he usually knows exactly what to do to make a scene work , but only because he has learned it by rote . 
aside from rare flashes of originality , his films are often soul-dead . 
in de palma's latest , he turns his attention to stanley kubrick . 
to tell the truth , i enjoyed portions of this movie , but i liked it a lot better over 30 years ago when it was called "" 2001 "" . 
i enjoyed it even more when it was titled "" close encounters "" . 
nasa has set its sights for mars . 
when the first crew meets with disaster , a rescue mission is sent to the red planet . 
they don't do so well either , but eventually meet up the lone surviving astronaut-gone-rasta and solve the mysteries of the universe . 
and it's all so boring . 
there are so many scenes that just don't work , it's difficult to begin . 
when the first crew is a few feet away from a raging massive upside-down martian tornado ( which looks remarkably like a sandworm from "" dune "" ) destroying everything in its path , they just hang out watching . 
error . 
the most interesting character ( and that's not saying much ) is killed off . 
error . 
the alien is laughable . 
error . 
the rest of the characters are the dullest people imaginable . 
error . 
there's some nice eyecandy . 
the face on mars , which turns out to be a giant metal thai buddha head , looks cool . 
a three-dimensional holographic planetarium is more fun to watch than anything at disney world . 
maneuvering in space suits outside the ship seems realistic . 
but there's so much more that feels as if we've been there before . 
from "" 2001 "" , there's the rotating space station , the blinding white room . 
>from "" close encounters "" , they solve a sound puzzle and play it to the aliens . 
the list goes on . 
the actors are mostly mobile wooden statues . 
even gary sinise and tim robbins can't muster enough emotion to convince us they are breathing . 
no one seems to care about anything that happens . 
you won't either . 
the absolutely worst sin is the blatant product placement as dr . pepper , with a 20 foot tall logo , saves the day . 
they should save the commercials for those insipid bits before the film . 
"
"-1","mulholland drive did very well at the cannes film festival . 
as you can see from the rating it did not do very well from me at the toronto international film festival . 
it may not be clear to the viewer why i am so negative on this film for most of the running time . 
in fact it is an interesting mystery story told on the backdrop of the hollywood film industry . 
toward the end of the film i think everything that has been built falls apart . 
the film was to be a pilot for a tv series but writer and director david lynch did not sell his tv pilot and i think he decided that he wanted to do something else with it . 
something else is what he did . 
the film opens with a woman ( played by laura harring ) about to be killed in a car when a car crash saves her life . 
she crawls away from the accident with a concussion and finds herself a bungalow with an unlocked door to sleep . 
meanwhile young vivacious betty ( naomi watts ) arrives in hollywood from canada . 
she wants to build a career as an actress . 
betty is a little surprised to find a woman sleeping in the borrowed bungalow . 
she does not know who the woman is . 
she is even more surprised when the woman awakes and does not herself know who she is . 
they fix on a name rita for her , but are not sure if this right or not . 
meanwhile local director adam kesher ( justin theroux ) has problems of his own . 
he is trying to cast one actress for his new film and is getting pressure from the producers and from crime figures to cast someone else , cammie rhodes ( melissa george ) . 
these two threads are joined by a third one in which there is a strange and comic murder that goes terribly wrong . 
there is also a strange character called the cowboy ( monty montgomery ) adding to the confusion . 
in what was probably intended for the television pilot the film opens with a great vibrancy showing dancing 60s style under the credits . 
a lot of mulholland drive starts out fun . 
lynch wants you to know he could make an enjoyable stylish film . 
he just chooses not to . 
as with any david lynch film there is strange material added for little reason . 
there are no earthworms , but there are some decidedly strange david lynch touches . 
the film is a little long for the subject matter . 
toward the end it gets into some heavier violence and sex scenes , clearly not intended for the tv pilot . 
unfortunately some of the most important comments to make about this film would be spoilers . 
i will not mention them in the main body of the review but i give mulholland drive a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a low 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
mulholland drive spoiler warning . 
i have rated this film fairly low . 
you should read this only after seeing the film or deciding that you will not see the film . 
david lynch is in large part a dark satirist . 
most of his work is done in familiar genres but in some way shows their underside . 
in mulholland drive i think he is having a laugh at the expense of the crime film genre . 
what he does with this film is ( are you sure you want to read this ? ) 
playing off the audience expectations that there will be a simple explanation for what is going on . 
the first 80% of the film he tells a simple multi-thread crime story with clues sprinkled throughout . 
then suddenly at the end he turns the story on its ear with a large number of clues that appear that they should add up to something . 
the audience expectation is that they will add up . 
but he has given clues that are self-contradictory . 
lynch wants the audience to argue about what they have seen afterward and come up with theories . 
in fact , the pointers are noticeably contradictory and until i hear a better explanation , i think lynch is merely playing a joke . 
there is a visual curiosity that was popular in the sixties . 
mad magazine called it a poiuyt . 
other sources called it a tri- pronged u-bar . 
look at small portions of it and makes sense . 
look at the whole figure and it does not . 
this film is , in my estimation , the cinematic equivalent of a tri-pronged u-bar . 
"
"-1","ingredients : possessed plastic dolls in love , plastic dolls having sex 
starring : jennifer tilly , voice of brad dourif , katherine heigl , nick stabile , john ritter 
synopsis : this is the fourth film in the chucky series , which debuted in the late 1980s . 
basically , chucky is a plastic doll that can walk and talk because it is possessed by the spirit of a slain murderer . 
in bride of chucky , chucky's longtime girlfriend tiffany ( jennifer tilly ) dies and her spirit inhabits a female plastic doll through voodoo . 
dolls tiffany and chucky get married and embark on a quest to reach a cemetery in new jersey , where a mystical gem might enable them to be humans . 
the dolls stow away in the back of a vehicle driven by a newly eloped couple , so in the side plot , the couple suspects each other of being a murderer . 
opinion : bride of chucky is an attempt at horror with humor , but doesn't succeed . 
somehow , chucky moaning about mid life crisis , and how he should have gotten married does not make for a very scary chucky . 
and tiffany harping about mid life crisis , and how she should have gotten married does not make for a very scary tiffany . 
the suspenseless bride of chucky relies mostly on jennifer tilly's cleavage to keep attention during the first half , and on occasional puns to keep attention during the second half . 
the best that can be said about bride of chucky is that it is sarcastic . 
"
"-1","watching the movie , i vowed to subtract half a star from the review because the filmmakers included a saccharine syrup , cute 'n cuddly , computer-generated monkey . 
if the monkey died , the movie got an extra half star . 
alas , the monkey showed up at the end , unharmed , to the wet sickly sound of gagging and rolling eyeballs . 
what that means is that lost in space actually deserved 2 stars . 
that's pretty generous , considering the movie's camp lacked any hint of tongue in cheek . 
when will robinson ( jack johnson ) teaches his pet robot about friendship , you are actually supposed to buy it . 
so why such a seemingly high rating ? 
there are a few reasons that made me unable to throw away the experience with the garbage . 
first , we saw the movie on opening night of the first day of operation of a brand new theater . 
the sound and screen kicked ass . 
nobody in the country enjoyed the movie as much as my audience did ( and i don't necessarily mean that in a good way ) . 
also , there were more than zero scenes where i found myself rooting for the robinsons , or getting caught up in the movie's tension . 
i even liked the computer-generated settings . 
i usually prefer to see models or sets , but the cg was more detailed than i've seen in a lot of movies ; it looks like someone spent a little overtime to render some of the futuristic cities . 
also , gary oldman is never a bad actor , even though he is typecast as a villain . 
william hurt isn't too bad either . 
neither actor had a great role , but their performances were watchable . 
and perhaps i shouldn't admit this , but something about the tone and outlook of the movie brought me back to my childhood . 
there is very little swearing or blood ; there is a strong moral message , saccharine though it is ; there is a bit of romance ( whose culmination after 2 hours is a "" real "" kiss -- no sex ) . 
it felt like one of those disney movies that i so looked forward to when i was six . 
those movies were probably as bad as lost in space , but at the time , they were manna from heaven . 
that type of moviemaking is a lost art . 
now for the bad news . 
worst and most unforgivable was the incredibly bad dialogue . 
it's squeaky-clean , family fun , trying hard to be as hip as pulp fiction . 
 "" you better hold on to your joystick , "" is one such line . 
and when a robinson is called upon to deliver a line about warp conduit thingamajigs , they inevitably stumble badly enough to embarrass even the lowliest star trek ensign . 
second worst , and closely related , is the screenplay . 
the story's exposition takes place at a press conference , which allows the writers to explain what's happening with the least amount of creativity , effort , or interest . 
once the story gets going , i do concede a momentary burst of interest once in a while , but on the whole , the situations that arise are silly and contrived . 
when gary oldman easily reprograms will's pet robot to kill the robinsons , my friend summed it up perfectly : "" he flipped the switch to 'evil . ' "" 
then there's the tone of the movie . 
the colorado daily said the film would have been more interesting if the central character was will robinson and not his father john robinson . 
then it could be an adventure movie . 
they're mostly right , except that johnson ( will ) wasn't a good enough actor to carry it off . 
still , that the film has the robinson patriarch as our hero shows a lack of imagination . 
just because a movie is tame enough for kids doesn't mean that we have to bow to a "" promise keepers "" notion of who's the center of a family . 
many quality family films have been made with a non-traditional family structure ( fly away home comes to mind ) to much better effect . 
and the politics of the time seem a bit conservative and regressive for a futuristic movie . 
in star wars , the rebels were the good guys . 
we were rooting for those who were fighting against the system . 
in lost in space , the rebels are the bad guys , a terrorist force that must be killed , crushed and silenced so that our children may live free . 
that ominous excuse for violence almost makes me sympathize with the terrorists . 
finally , a few specific details deserve criticism . 
the movie tells us that the setting is the year 2056 . 
why ? 
why bother saying what year this is . 
just tell us it's the future . 
i bring it up because the tv series was supposed to take place in 1997 . 
setting a specific date only dates the movie and guarantees that it won't be timeless ( not that this movie was really in the running anyway . ) . 
then there is a scene that shows john robinson checking one of his controls on a chair that rises about fifteen feet on a pole . 
this silly waste of money reminded me of bugs bunny's barber chair , and only shows that the future is a time when spaceship designers haven't learned a thing about ergonomics . 
one vaguely redeeming quality is that the end credits succeed where the rest of the film failed : it made lost in space look cool . 
the strong techno beat sampled the cheesiest dialogue and , out of context , made it sound hip . 
this is overlaid on a cool jumpy credit sequence with interesting distorted clips from the movie . 
but if that's the best part of the movie , i can't in good conscience recommend it . 
still , if you get stuck seeing it , as we did , you might be able to appreciate it if you keep your distance , think of liking bad movies as a child , and bring along your "" bad movie bingo "" cards . 
"
"-1","i was going to see ram shrasta on the big screen last night , but before that i stopped into my video store to rent some movies . 
luckily , my video guy was in the middle or recording ram shrasta ! 
i knew it was going to be a bad print with only half-faces and poor sound quality , but i couldn't help myself . . . 
i got it . 
well , after watching it ( it indeed was a bad print ) i was glad i didn't dish out $7 to waste three hours of my time sitting in a bad theatre watching a bad movie . 
this movie really sucks . 
it had so many inconsistencies it was driving me crazy ! ! 
for example , how can jackie shroff grow two feet of hair in just three or four days ? 
jackie shroff looked really stupid with his steven seagal ponytail . 
the songs are bad , the acting is bad ( especially deepti bhatnagar's ) , and the direction is the worst of all . 
the comedy scenes with jagdish and johnny lever just made me want to throw up . 
i didn't even finish the movie . . . 
i couldn't take it anymore . 
note : but if anyone out there liked aatish ( by the same director ) , i guess you'd like this movie . 
it's practically the same except that sanjay dutt is replaced with jackie shroff . 
aditya panscholi is the sidekick again . 
 ( i was going to give it a zero , but i personally like jackie shroff , so i loosened up a little . 
he looked fresh , wore good clothes ( as always ) , and his performance , even though it wasn't his best , was the only saving grace of the movie ) 
"
"-1","starship troopers is a bad movie . 
i mean , a really , really , bad movie . 
not only does it cross the line of bad taste when it comes to blood , gore and body parts shown on the screen , it blissfully jumps over that line , apparently unaware that the movie trailers appeal to an audience of five to fifteen year olds ( of which i saw many in the theatre ) . 
looking past the appalling sight of overdone violence , we are left with a movie with a thin plot at best , no strong lead characters , a blatant disregard for physics , and a very obvious naziesque theme . 
that being said , onto the review : the movie starts with a propaganda message from the federation ( who's logo bears a * strong * resemblance to a nazi german eagle ) , urging the populace to go off and fight the bugs , who are attempting to destroy earth . 
the film shows large rallies with young children in attendance , pledging allegiance to the federation ( again , sound familiar ? ) . 
as the movie progresses , we are shown terror tactic training , as a drill sargeant very graphically compound fractures one recruits arm , and throws a knife through another's hand . 
eventually , the recruits embark on a journey to a location two thirds of the way across the milky way galaxy , to fight the bugs on their home planet . 
as our faster than light travelling "" heroes "" arrive on planet , they drop onto the planet , and burst our of their craft brandishing . . . 
 "" what ? "" 
you say , "" laser beam weapons ? 
sonic weapons ? 
phasers ? 
photon cannons ? "" . 
nope , they hop out brandishing good old 1997 machine guns , pump action rifles , and tactical nuclear weapons ! 
i guess a lot of physics money r&d went into travel and not weaponry . 
as the assault begins , our group of troopers are seen walking in a straight line through a box canyon . 
two members of the group notice rocks slipping and falling above them , and one even sees a streak fly by , but disregards it as nothing . 
this of course , leads to more massive carnage , blood shed , and graphic depictions of limbs and heads being ripped and severed from their bodies . 
again , i see that military tactics in the future must have evolved at about the same pace as their weapons ! 
in the end , we see neil patrick "" doogie howser "" harris burst onto the scene in what could accurately be described as a nazi ss trenchcoat , hat , and gloves . 
he does a vulcan mind meld on the giant slug , and then proclaims that the bugs are scared ! 
this sets the troopers into a frenzy , as they are now one step closer to completing their goal , total genocide of a species ( again , sound familiar ? ? ) . 
i have tried very hard not to step on and spoil the plot with this review , but given it's non-existence , i may have anyway . 
i could go on for pages ripping this movie apart , but don't want to bore you too badly . 
in short , i felt as if i were subjected to a mix between a pro-nazi war film with bugs substituted for allies , a drivers education accident scene film , and a complete blank screen ( the plot , of course ) . 
i wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone , anywhere , under any circumstance . 
copyright ( c ) 1997 tim jandt "" > 
"
"-1","capsule : one of the ten worst movies ever made . 
christopher lambert vs . evil ninjas in modern-day japan . . . 
and nobody wins . 
the hunted is such a bad movie , so completely inept and so totally brain-damaged that i could almost feel affection for it . 
i could see myself showing this movie to friends and getting a good jolly guffaw out of it , if it weren't also insanely xenophobic and insulting . 
christopher lambert plays a computer-parts salesman who's on business in japan . 
he meets a slinky young woman ( joan chen ) and has a torrid night of lovemaking with her -- and then manages to witness her death at the hands of an evil ninja clan and their leader ( john lone ) . 
apparently they had some unfinished business that could only be concluded with her getting slaughtered . 
since lambert is a witness , he's of course the next one to die . 
let's stop and think about this for a second . 
if lambert were in real life being chased by fanatical devotees to a ninja secret society , he'd have a lifespan you could only measure with an atomic clock . 
in this movie , the ninja manage to kill just about everyone except him . 
i imagine the japanese gods smiled down on lambert and provided him with a goof field that radiates out about ten feet from his body . 
you know what a goof field is : that invisible zone in which anyone who has intent to do harm to you becomes a klutz no matter what their real dexterity is . 
this is , of course , only the beginning of the movie's problems . 
lambert eventually finds pseudo-safety with a long-haired modern-day samurai ( yoshio harada ) and his partner -- yoko shimada , who you may remember as lady toda buntaro in shogun . 
they are the two best things in the movie ; in every scene they have authority and presence , and they actually look like they belong here , even when dressed in full samurai armor and wielding bows . 
the script doesn't know what the hell to do with them . 
lone , as the bad guy , is zero-dimensional . 
the only bad-guy cliche he has to wallow around in is the one about how the bad guy always has exotic women dripping off of him . 
in the hunted , this is elevated to the level of an insulting stereotype . 
what's funny is that the peripheral characters in the hunted are not sterotypes -- there's a nice little scene with a tokyo cabdriver , and a girl in a pachinko parlor -- but many of the main characters are unsalveageably hateful . 
also , the phenomenal instrumental troupe kodo has assembled a superior soundtrack -- get the cd -- that manages to survive despite the drek it's been designed to accompany . 
there is an extended battle scene in the middle of the movie that is almost reason enough to watch the whole thing -- a gory , excellently staged fight on the bullet train that shows some real imagination for a moment , and then smothers it by trying to clumsily re-couple the whole thing with the movie's relentlessly stupid plot . 
by the time we get to the final showdown , with lambert getting to wield his own sword ( which , judging from the ham-handed editing of one scene , was forged in seven hours or so ) , we no longer care . 
we're not even given any definitive information about whether or not one of the key characters lives or dies ! 
someone once said that the key to good art -- good movies , good books , whatever -- is to start somewhere interesting , end up somewhere interesting , and show respect for the audience all along the way . 
this movie bungles two out of three , badly . 
"
"-1","hello kids . 
today the movie studios want to take over my critical review , and somehow persuade you that _armageddon_ , the summer's biggest blockbuster , is a film for everybody . 
and remember , if a film is for _everybody_ , and if it makes the most money for the summer , it _must_ be good , right ? 
armageddon is a comedy , with a capital "" c "" . 
it stars bruce willis , who has a hundred one-liners ! 
it has a tiny rock land directly in the middle of a heated argument in new york city ! ! 
and , chuckle , chuckle , one of those new yorkers , _survives_ , with charcoal all over his face ! ! 
snorkle , * sniff * , hiccup . 
and it has steve buscemi as a _genius_ who wants to work for an oil rig ? 
knee-slap ! ! 
isn't this just so , so , funny ! ? 
armageddon also has romance , with a capital "" r "" . 
it has a tender moment between * forbidden lovers * ben affleck and liv tyler , with , with , animal crackers ! 
and it has will patton as a long lost husband trying to reunite with his separated wife and child , who thinks he's a salesman ! 
gurgle , * sniff * , awwwww . 
and it has steve buscemi spewing more one-liners about minors and strippers . 
umm , moving right along . . . 
armageddon also has lots of action , with a capital "" a "" . 
not just any action sequence would do . 
it must have _original_ action sequences that are designed to thrill . 
like , drill , darn it , drill ! ! ! 
and , let's have inept people destroy the mir space station ! ! 
can't you hear your heart beating ! ? 
and steve buscemi goes crazy and starts shooting at people ! ! 
what drama ! ! 
lastly , armageddon is out there to save the planet , with a capital "" p "" . 
this can't be any old thriller--we must have an asteroid , the size of texas head straight for earth ! ! 
and , and , we must have beautiful scenic worldwide shots , like paris , blown up . 
and , and , we must have peoples of all colors , nations , and religions , join hand in hand for one final , hopeful , hug . 
the final sequence , where muslims in prostrate worship stand up--in domino fashion--to cheer the victory , filled me with such emotional goo that i wanted to , to , to rip the screen into shreds ! ! 
i mean , i mean , cheer for ecstatic joy ! 
 ( it was over ) . 
comedy . "" c "" . 
romance . 
 "" r "" . 
action . 
 "" a "" . 
planet . 
 "" p "" . 
okay , kids , what does that spell ? 
seriously , folks . 
any film that could take the indie-films' most valuable talents , and throw it all away with a bruce willis vehicle , a hundred-million dollar budget , but have cheap-o sets and lousy special effects , is , bottom line , living proof that hell exists , and has made a multi-picture deal with universal . 
in the midst of all the action , the terseness , the one-liners , the fake sets , the overall waste of time , i recognized matt malloy playing an underwritten nasa technician ( "" malloy , give me a reading "" ) . 
remember him ? 
he was a principal player in last year's _in the company of men_ , a film that was more powerful , shocking , terrifying , funny , and shocking than _armageddon_ could ever aspire to be . 
_armageddon_ cost over $100 million to make . 
_itcom_ cost a paltry $30 , 000 . 
need i say more ? 
"
"-1","deserves recognition for : achieving the near-impossible task of making a grander monument to self-love than steven seagal's on deadly ground . 
capsule review : a question : after the floating baby ruth that was waterworld , what in the @$&% were the hollywood execs who gave kevin costner the money to make another post-apocalyptic movie thinking ? 
in this 3 hour advertisement for his new hair weave , costner plays a nameless drifter who dons a long dead postal employee's uniform and gradually turns a nuked-out usa into an idealized hippy-dippy society . 
 ( judging by the costuming at the end of the movie , the main accomplishment of this brave new world is in re-inventing polyester . ) 
when he's not pointing the camera directly at himself , director costner does have a nice visual sense , and it is undeniably fascinating to see such an unabashedly jingoistic film in the trust-no-one 90's ; but by the time the second hour rolled around , i was reduced to sitting on my hands to keep from clawing out my own eyes . 
mark this one "" return to sender "" . 
"
"-1","starring ben stiller , elizabeth hurley , maria bello , janeane garofalo screenplay by david veloz , based on the novel by jerry stahl directed by david veloz 
permanent midnight is a pretty bad movie , though it took me a few days to conclude this . 
the film is more masturbatory than bleak , with its main character intent on confounding us with his stupidity . 
 ( he has a $6000 a week drug habit . ) 
ultimately , as adapted by veloz , jerry stahl comes off as one of those playground braggarts who chainsmokes at the age of twelve ; you are less mystified by his self-destructive nature than bored into a stupor yourself . 
ben stiller plays stahl , a young author who arrives in l . a . with ambition and a nasty drug habit . 
he eventually gets a gig for $5000/week writing for a sitcom called mr . chompers ( a thinly veiled stand-in for "" alf "" : chompers looks just like alf except he's blue ) , marries a producer ( hurley ) so she can get a green card , and hooks up with a spanish mother ( liz torres ) , who shoots heroin with him in the afternoons . 
insert proverbial downward spiral here . 
permanent midnight is structured mostly as a flashback , with recovering addict bello meeting stiller ( at a fastfood restaurant , where stiller works the drive-thru as part of rehab ) , taking him back to a hotel , and between bouts of serious screwing , listening to his life story . 
i've spent the last week trying to figure out why stiller never seemed to find the frighteningly gorgeous hurley attractive-worse , i've been trying to figure out why hurley did find stiller attractive . 
as stahl , stiller displays none of the charm or wit one would expect ( post-there's something about mary ) of either the actor or a comedy writer . 
what separates stahl from the hundreds of other hollywood punk-junkies , it seems , is that stahl wrote a book about his idiocy . 
watch stahl shoot heroin next to a baby ! 
watch stahl spoil numerous pitch meetings with smack-fueled babble ! 
stiller gives a technically flawless performance : the film could double as a documentary on how to be a junkie . 
but permanent midnight is mostly soulless . 
when the movie poses the question will stahl be saved ? 
and then answers it in the form of bello's character ( basically a shrink in black panties ) , could a person care less ? 
in the film version of his autobiography of the same name , stahl doesn't need saving , he needs someone who will sit there and listen to him go on about himself . 
if you learn anything about the other characters in this movie , it's that they are the most incredibly tolerant hollywood-types known to man . 
 ( stahl also seems to be the only person at schmooze parties doing drugs . 
is this hollywood . . . california ? ) 
i learned very little about the entertainment business from permanent midnight and a whole lot about an egotistical lunkhead . 
of course you know that stahl triumphed because he lived to talk about his problems . 
so , basically , his drug habit got him a book deal , a movie based on his life , and now he's apparently collaborating with stiller on future projects . 
so much for the moral of that story . 
temporary midnight is more like it . 
-bill chambers ; september , 1998 
"
"-1","the camera zooms in incredibly close . 
it focuses on the closed eyes of a person presumed dead . 
all of a sudden , with a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse , his eyelids open . 
the camera zooms in incredibly close . 
it focuses on one of the characters desperately running for her life . 
then , with a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse , she bumps into the killer . 
the camera zooms in incredibly close . 
it focuses on a door from where seemingly strange sounds emanate . 
all of a sudden , with a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse , the doors swing open to reveal what's inside . 
close-up thrill-shots such as these seemed to elicit more laughter from the audience rather than genuine fear , which is a pretty good sign that you're not watching the thriller that the director had originally envisioned . 
rather , you adopt the opinion that the characters are so goofy and so unaware of the trouble that they're in , that you stop caring about who lives , who dies and where the story goes . 
instead , you become more interested in how the characters get killed off . 
the four young teenagers who are the potential sacrificial lambs for this movie are helen and barry and julie and ray - two couples and dear friends to one another . 
during the summer just after high school graduation , they take a fateful drive down a dark mountain highway . 
suddenly , without warning , their car hits someone whom the teens presume was killed as a result of that collision . 
fearing jail time and possible manslaughter charges if they confess , they instead decide to dump the body into the ocean and make a pact never to discuss the episode again . 
a year goes by and things among the four friends begin to change . 
relationships fizzle , future dreams crumble , and attitudes change . 
but , they can not forget what they did . 
and apparently , neither can someone else . 
someone begins to send letters to all four of the teens with the frightening message : "" i know what you did last summer . "" 
the letter-writer ( a figure in a rubber slicker wielding a large metal hook ) soon makes his presence known and begins to hunt down the four teens . 
it's now up to the four of them to try to figure out who the killer is before it's too late . 
while this movie has some nice visually eerie effects , too much of it's impact had to be generated with extreme close-ups , while the level of suspense was choppy at best . 
there is so much more that this movie could have been , but decided to give us nothing but cheap thrills . 
it could have been a clever whodunit , but discovering who ultimately was the killer made me just shrug my shoulders . 
it could have explored the changed friendships after a year of adulthood , but seemed to only include that aspect to add 15 more minutes to the film . 
it could have given us smarter characters who knew that anytime you're alone and you see shadowy figures moving about , you don't walk towards them yelling "" hello "" . 
once you yell "" hello "" , you can expect an extreme close-up , a thunderous sound effect and an eerie sounding musical pulse . 
it's difficult to be in suspense when you know what's about to happen . 
the only redeeming aspect of the movie is that i now have a neat idea for a halloween costume , but i'm not sure if the local costume store sells rubber slickers and hooks . 
the horror that i experienced from this film is realizing that i actually went to see it . 
"
"-1"," "" goodbye , lover "" sat on the shelf for almost a year since its lukewarm reception at the cannes film festival last may , and one look will tell you why . 
it's a mess . 
and that's * way * before ellen degeneres shows up . 
the film is one of those torrid double-indemnity crime stories that , in this case , required the services of three screenwriters . 
i suspect that one wrote a sexy thriller , one wrote a murder mystery , and one wrote a comedy , then director roland joff ? tried to piece it all together in the editing room while scratching his head in bewilderment . 
i didn't laugh at ellen degeneres much ( i think i was supposed to ) . 
degeneres is horrible and her character is even worse , a tough-talking vulgar cop with a bad wardrobe and bad hair . 
either degeneres is wearing a wig--as most of the actors appear to be--or she doesn't yet have enough clout to secure a hairstylist . 
every single word out of her mouth is supposed to be racy and hip , but her incessant wisecracking is poorly-written and merely stupid . 
her reaction to the brutal killing of a jogger is "" at least she died healthy . "" 
and that's one of her wittier asides . 
degeneres' sgt . 
rita pompano is called in to investigate the allegedly accidental death of . . . wait . 
to give away too much of the plot would all but ruin a film that has very little going for it outside of its numbing plot twists and multiple triple-crosses . 
it's best described this way : 
sultry sexpot/real estate agent sandra dunmore ( patricia arquette ) is married to jake , a "" creative yet unfocused "" ( and alcoholic ) advertising rep , played by dermot mulroney . 
sandra likes to act out her deep-seated sexual fantasies and jake's brother ben ( the suave-as-ever don johnson ) likes to help . 
ben is also coming on to his petite , mousy co-worker peggy blaine ( mary-louise parker ) and someone , somewhere , is planning to cash in on that huge life insurance policy of his . 
the film is ripe with cheating lovers cheating on each other and back again . 
although there are some genuine surprises , the plot twists get too contrived too quickly . 
probably around the time degeneres' gumcracking gumshoe appears . 
at least the former "" ellen "" star is going for something a little different . 
arquette turns in yet another of her stiletto-heeled , platinum blonde bombshell roles ( see : "" lost highway , "" "" true romance "" ) while quoting embarrassing lines like "" i'm not wearing any underwear . "" 
i hope she got paid a lot of money to do this . 
here's an example of some of the film's flat-out stupidity . 
sandra purchases a used car and disguises herself in a red wig prior to stalking two of the film's duplicitous lovers . 
she drives the motorbiking couple off a cliff while blaring her favorite "" the sound of music "" on her car stereo , intent on identifying herself to her hapless victims . 
so what was the point of the wig and the car ? 
 "" the sound of music "" stuff might be a reference to "" the wizard of oz "" allusions in david lynch's "" wild at heart , "" but if so joff ? must have forgotten that "" wild at heart "" was a despicable movie . 
it's hard to believe that "" goodbye , lover "" was directed by the same person who made "" the killing fields "" and "" the mission . "" 
it's not , however , hard to see why it sat on the shelf for so long . 
it should have stayed there . 
"
"-1","as with any gen-x mtv movie ( like last year's dead man on campus ) , the movie is marketed for a primarily male audience as indicated by its main selling points : sex and football . 
those two items , wrapped in a guilty-pleasure package , are sure to snare a sizeable box office chunk initially , but sales will decline for two reasons . 
first , the football sequences are nothing new , nor can they be ; the sports genre isn't mainstream and it's been retread to death . 
second , the sex is just bad . 
despite the appearance of a whipped cream bikini or the all-night strip-club party , there's nothing even remotely tantalizing . 
the acting is mostly mediocre , not including the fantastic jon voight . 
cultivating his usual sliminess , voight gives an unexpectedly standout performance as west canaan coyotes head coach bud kilmer . 
kilmer is the driving force behind the coyotes' twenty-two conference championships and two state titles in thirty years ; this year he plans to make it twenty-three . 
unfortunately , when his star quarterback , lance harbor ( paul walker ) , goes down for the count , he's got to rely on the unreliable abilities of backup john moxon ( james van der beek ) . 
moxon leads the team through its last four games , and then must cope with his newfound stardom , the effect it has on his relationship with girlfriend julie ( amy smart ) , and other temptations that abound in football-crazy west canaan . 
most regions of the country are not nearly as football-crazy as texas , and so the atmosphere is likely to be lost on most . 
similarly , the set design is wrong for a high school setting : the teams are decked out with sparkling uniforms , radio headsets ( which never seem to work , however , and instead require coaches to signal plays manually ) , and even a giant bronze statue of coach kilmer . 
these elements ( as well as the heavy drinking and carousing ) might be more appropriate on a college campus -- but mtv's core audience is the high school demographic . 
this focus is further emphasized by the casting : james van der beek , of tv's "" dawson's creek , "" is an understandable choice for the reluctant hero , although he never manages to do anything with the role . 
other stars are similarly young and unmemorable . 
there's not much that goes right about varsity blues , and there's not much to like about it , either . 
everything herein has already been done , and if it hasn't , the movie manages to botch it one way or another . 
this is certainly missable . 
"
"-1","nicolas cage comes up with an ingenious survival mechanism for his role in the wink-and-a-concussive-nudge bombast-o-rama con air . 
the opening credits sequence introduces us to cage as cameron poe , a gulf war veteran convicted of manslaughter and serving eight years in prison after an ill-fated bar-room brawl . 
the prison scenes are accompanied by voice-overs in which poe , in a languid southern drawl , describes prison life to his wife back home and offers simple homilies for the daughter he has never met . 
if the scene gives you a tickle of familiarity , it probably should . 
cage appears to realize that con air is going to be utterly dim-witted and ridiculous , and that he's going to have to do something to keep himself entertained . 
and thus he slips into a familiar , surreal role as his own commentary on the proceedings -- cage plays cameron poe as a buffed-up version of raising arizona's h . i . mcdonnough . 
cage should have known what he was getting himself into . 
he got a paycheck from jerry bruckheimer last year for the rock , and if there's one thing you can count on from a bruckheimer production ( even without his late partner don simpson ) , it's that you can count on seeing everything you saw in the _last_ bruckheimer production . 
the critical difference between the rock and con air is cage's performance . 
in the rock , cage appeared to be having the time of his life jumping into the action fray for the first time . 
that sense of discovery has been replaced by a wry self-awareness . 
while the plot of con air finds poe a parolee on board a hijacked prison transport plane whose goal is just to get home , cage's goal is different but just as simple : to get out of the film with some measure of dignity intact . 
audiences , too , should know what they're getting themselves into with a bruckheimer production . 
in fact , the marketing people are counting on it . 
no one who loathed the rock for its swear-grunt-blast repetitiveness will be converted by con air ; no one who loved the rock for exactly the same reasons will be dissuaded . 
director simon west ( yet another tv commercial auteur plucked by bruckheimer from the advertising equivalent of the schwab's soda fountain ) delivers exactly the kind of adrenaline/testosterone cocktail which could launch an endocrinology lecture ( it's perversely appropriate that one sympathetic con spends most of the flight nearing a diabetic coma ; like insulin , con air does the work of a gland ) . 
what he doesn't deliver is a moment of suspense . 
a bruckheimer film has no use for hitchcock's notion that showing you the bomb under the desk creates a more interesting scene than just blowing up the desk ; a really , _really_ big desk and a really , _really_ big bomb will serve the purpose nicely . 
if either west or bruckheimer were interested in genuine tension , they might have done something with con air's creepiest set-up . 
at a desert stop for the plane-load of convicts , serial killer garland greene ( steve buscemi ) wanders of into a trailer park where he meets a little girl having a tea party in a drained swimming pool . 
their tete-a-tete is eerie and menacing , providing a welcome shift in tone and giving buscemi a chance to stand out in a cast with too many villains ( danny trejo , ving rhames and a characteristically reptilian john malkovich among them ) . 
in fact , con air usually opts for too much of something when the tiniest measure of restraint would have been an improvement -- too many characters , too much editing , too many dopey punch lines , too much of the cheap , ugly appeals to machismo which characterize too many bruckheimer efforts . 
it is that kind of exhausting excess to which cage is responding with his detached performance . 
while malkovich goes for the outrageous and john cusack ( as a u . s . marshal ) goes for earnest , cage looks like he just wants to go to sleep . 
his recycled raising arizona performance is a means of escape , his chase after a stuffed bunny a continuation of his pursuit of that big box of huggies . 
it doesn't bode well for cage's appearance in face/off later this month ; perhaps he already realizes that all he can do in action films is more of the same over and over . 
there's a word for people like you , nicolas . 
that word is called recidivist . . . repeat 
offender . 
"
"-1","a big house . 
a big director , jan de bont of speed and twister fame . 
a big star , catherine zeta-jones , hot of the heels of entrapment ( 6 . 5/10 ) and zorro . 
a big remake of the haunting . 
and big special effects . 
so what do they all amount to ? 
unfortunately for us , a big bore ! 
plot : a hotshot doctor brings three insomniacs to an old , spooky mansion for controlled testing . 
unbeknownst to the patients , the good doctor is actually conducting his own cover project that has to do with the psychology of fear . 
critique : this movie just didn't scare me one bit . 
sure , it creeped and spooked me out a little here and there , but on the whole , it took waaaaay too long to get going , provided very little meat in the plot , went way past its own bedtime , and basically relied on grunts , the muttering of children's voices and over-the-top special effects , to scare us . 
well , this film didn't do much for me . 
and they might as well have called it the "" haunting of lily taylor "" , since she's basically the only character who had any real depth , background or reason to be in the house in the first place . 
don't get me wrong , catherine zeta was sweet window dressing ( despite my continued perception of her faint mustache-see entrapment ) , and owen wilson was good as the standard "" comic relief "" , but come on people , if you're going to have us sit through two hours in a theater with these folks , how 'bout giving them a little more than one-liners as dimension . 
neeson was also wasted as the smart , british guy . 
it's all too sad , cause certainly the "" idea "" seemed like a good one ( see the shining ( 9/10 ) for a close to perfect example of a creepy gone awry ) , but the story was thin , the conclusion was laughable ( be gone . . . poof ! ) and the special effects ? 
well , they sure were nice to look at , but not for a moment did one of them scare , or even for a split-second , have me believe that they were anything more than hollywood special gadgetry . 
see it for zeta-jones , or if you like special effects and scary movies that take forever to get going , and provide very little payback , otherwise skip it and check out the original or the ultimate movie about spooky homes from the netherworld , the shining . 
little known facts about this film and its stars : goofy actor owen wilson co-scripted indie favorites rushmore ( 8/10 ) and bottle rocket with director wes anderson . 
his brother luke wilson is also an actor , who once dated drew barrymore for a year or so . 
brother andrew is also an actor . 
singer lisa loeb is listed in the credits as having portrayed the character of olivia morice , but i personally did not notice her . 
she is well known for her number one single "" stay ( i missed you ) "" and goofy glasses . 
the creaks and moans heard throughout the house were prerecorded and played during filming in order to get a more natural expression of fear out of the actors . 
catherine zeta-jones is currently dating flabby ass actor michael "" sex is my life "" douglas . 
she stands 5'8 "" . 
in 1998 , actor michael rapaport pleaded guilty to the aggravated harassment of lily taylor . 
he was ordered to stay away from her and undergo counseling for one year . 
actor bruce dern , who plays the throwaway role of the gatekeeper in this film , was once nominated for an oscar for best supporting actor for his role in coming home . 
director jan de bont was born in holland , and began his lengthy career as a cinematographer on films as die hard , hunt for red october and basic instinct , directed by another dutchman , paul verhoeven . 
actor todd field also played a small but pivotal role in stanley kubrick's last film , eyes wide shut . 
he was nick nightingale , the pianist . 
this film was originally titled the haunting of hill house . 
"
"-1","it's always a bad sign when the core audience of a film -- children -- are either walking out early or are half-asleep when the credits roll at the end of a film . 
that about sums up the dreadful ugliness of 102 dalmatians , a cold pea soup of cute animals , stupid home alone antics , a boring puppy love subplot between dumb humans , and glenn close reprising her best joan crawford impression . 
indeed , walt disney is rolling over in his grave again , cursing john hughes' name for making the original live-action 101 dalmatians , one of the worst kiddie flicks of all time , and now its sequel . 
the main culprit behind the hideousness of 102 dalmatians is its predecessor , 101 dalmatians . 
the original made more than $100 million dollars at the box office , spawned a torrid collection of "" collectible "" items that ended up months later in the discount bins of wal-marts across the country , and generally made every kid on the planet want a damn dalmatian pup for christmas . 
well , it's been about four years since then , and dalmatian fever is coming back , and this time it's digitally enhanced . 
here's the story . 
cruella de vil ( glenn close ) is released from prison due to the "" cure "" of her puppy homicide urges by one dr . pavlov . 
 ( oh , how witty . ) 
she rejoins the world as a dog lover and is assigned to a probation officer , who oddly turns out to be her victim from the original film . 
cruella then becomes ella -- dog lover -- until the plot twists , like a dog with his leash caught on the back of a moving truck , and she becomes the evil vixen again . 
a kidnapping plot unfurls again as cruella decides she still needs her dalmatian coat , but she now needs 102 dalmatians instead of the commonly used 101 dalmatian formula . 
at this point , i was envying those kids filing out of the theater . 
how low have glenn close and gerard depardieu ( as the film's villain ) sunk in the film business ? 
it's almost laughable in a sadistic way to watch close walk around in costumes that seem to be pulled from the wardrobe of flash gordon . 
and depardieu . . . 
how can a french guy have a bad french accent ? 
and never mind the toilet brush haircut . 
the only minutely positive selling point i can even think to point out is the talking bird with a british accent ( courtesy of eric idle ) that thinks he's a rottweiler . 
now that's funny . 
"
"-1"," "" the animal "" is a marginally inspired comedy that only manages to lumber along , generating just enough momentum to keep it from stalling . 
it's clunky and slow , like watching an 18-wheeler trying to accelerate up a hill . 
there are certainly better things you can do with your time . 
actually , if you've seen the trailer , then you already know the plot and have seen its funniest moments . 
the story centers on bland marvin ( rob schneider ) , who is an evidence clerk at the local police department that yearns to be a real officer . 
but he's afflicted with loser-itis . 
dogs attack him , neighbors torment him , children bully him , and his co-workers ignore him . 
truthfully , with his bad haircut ( seemingly modeled after weird al yankovic , little richard , and giant poodles ) and his unenthusiastic demeanor , we'd probably throw tomatoes at him just for fun . 
this is actually bad because you can't like a character if you can't develop sympathy for him . 
we never do , and it may be just as well that he drives off a cliff and plummets to the canyon floor . 
however , marvin is found by an eccentric doctor ( michael caton ) who uses a radical and experimental procedure to save him , implanting our doofus with various animal parts and organs . 
as a result , marvin develops heightened senses and increased agility and speed . 
he can smell drugs hidden anywhere on a body , swim with the speed of a dolphin , and can run as fast as a cheetah . 
imagine the comedic possibilities that arise from this operation . 
with his enhanced abilities , he could now reap vengeance on all those who have shunned him . 
however , the spirit of the film takes a raunchy turn , and instead , marvin spends most of his time trying to subdue or satiate his voracious appetite and his animalistic , sexual urges . 
goats beware ! 
he also chases cats , urinates to mark his territory , or growls at his enemies . 
what he should've done was stick his head in the sand like an ostrich . 
equally tenuous is its other running joke , which involves one of his friends ( guy torry ) who constantly complains that everyone is treating him too nicely because he's black . 
 "" it's reverse racism , "" he declares as he blows smoke into the faces of strangers but none of them says anything . 
this element doesn't work the first time it's mentioned , and it becomes increasingly trite with every recurrence . 
you don't have to be as wise as an owl to realize that "" the animal "" is tame . 
if there's any reason to see this film , it's to see colleen haskell who makes her big screen debut . 
remember her ? 
she was voted off in week 11 of the 13-week program , "" survivor . "" 
here , she plays marvin's sunny love interest . 
while her role required very little actual acting , she seemed very comfortable ( even when marvin licks the side of her face like a lapping dog . . . yuck ! ) . 
with her adorable disposition , radiant smile , and playful innocence , she could be a meg ryan in the making . 
it's too bad that she's in such a mediocre offering 
"
"-1","romeo is bleeding wants to carry the unusual flavor of reservoir dogs or bad lieutenant . 
with director peter medak , whose previous credits include the good films let him have it and the krays , and top-notch character actors gary oldman and lena olin , they seemed likely to be a successful combination . 
those mentioned films , however , brought something to the screen that romeo is bleeding did not : a solid , well-written screenplay . 
call me cynical , but the jobs of writer and producer don't seem to mix well . 
gary oldman plays jack grimaldi , a good cop turned bad , selling information to the mob and cheating on his wife . 
his cheating is obvious enough to obtain his nickname , although the name doesn't provide any insight or analogy to the shakespearean character . 
jack has become addicted to "" feeding the hole "" , a hole in the ground where he stores his payoff money . 
when he realizes his colleagues are being shot , he feebly attempts to get out . 
gary oldman's performance is disappointingly weak ; he seems nearly bored . 
in the process , he also gets tangled-up with mona demarkov , a russian mobsterette who wants to take over the territory from top boss falcone , played adequately by roy scheider . 
demarkov , played by lena olin , is a tough but tremendously sexy woman with seemingly no problems maneuvering within the mob world . 
this character is combination of both linda hamilton and arnold schwarznegger from terminator 2 . i can't remember seeing a character quite like her . 
after being shot , handcuffed , and thrown in the back seat of a car , she still manages to cause an accident , kick out the windshield with her legs , grab a suitcase full of money ( plus some important documentation ) , climb through the rubble , land on her shot leg , and still succeed at running for safety . 
what a woman ! 
lena olin's performance is the only glimmer in this dismal film . 
anabella sciorra is wasted in her role as romeo's wife . 
there is little insight into her character . 
she's depressed , she makes obvious references , she mopes around the house . 
juliette lewis , as romeo's girlfriend , is treated with the same cliche attitudes , although ms . lewis' portrayal certainly didn't improve it . 
both women were anything but sexy or attractive . 
poorly developed characters aside , the screenplay also suffers from several logistical problems . 
it is so discouraging to watch a film and want to shout at the main character ( not ) to do something . 
for example , jack and his friends attend a funeral to hang in the background to scope-out the mob scene . 
fine . 
jack spots the big boss with his goons by the gravesite . 
fine . 
what does jack proceed to do ? 
he brushes his friends off by telling them he isn't feeling well , then strolls over to the boss . 
why ? 
the boss had all ready threatened him ; falcone simply takes the opportunity to issue more threats by ordering his goons to take off some of jack's toes by the gravesite . 
i guess they weren't worried about any federal agents lingering around after the funeral . . . . 
or here's another : demarkov set-up her own death by cutting off her arm with a circular saw . 
she proceeded to set the place on fire . 
wouldn't the flames burn off the fingerprints ? 
aren't dental records more important ? 
as bright and resourceful as she was supposed to be , couldn't she come up with a better plot ? 
 ( and it took her no time at all to get a good-fitting , functional prosthesis . ) 
lack of attention to detail certainly adds up in a film . 
this film doesn't even add up the large details . 
there is little or no consistency in the story-line . 
not much makes sense . 
the direction lacks cohesion , surprising from a director whose previous credits are impeccable . 
the moods shift , the styles shift , and no one can seem to decide if it is a serious film or satire of one . 
so while it certainly isn't reservoir dogs , it certainly isn't diva . 
there's plenty more to tear apart in this film . 
my advice to someone who hasn't seen it to to wait until it comes on video . 
there are some quotable lines that would provide a campy evening if not taken seriously . 
it's not a boring film , just not a good one . 
or an intelligent one . 
"
"-1","54 is dull , perfunctory , uninspired , and boring . 
a greater writer might have created a lyrical sentence for each of those adjectives , flowing in lovely arangements with soaring metaphors . 
i , however , would rather cut to the chase . 
54 is dull , perfunctory , uninspired , and boring . 
there is nothing in it -- not a glimpse of depth , nor a shimmer of intelligence or insight . 
there is no electricity in any of the scenes , or a moment of interest in the story or its subplots . 
and it's underdeveloped , and features an array of bland characters played by actors who think they're in this year's boogie nights . 
they are so wrong . 
the picture has been assembled by mark christopher . 
based on this film , i don't know how he got a job in the business . 
54 is supposed to be an amazing insight into the world of the dance club of the same name , which originated in the 70s and closed down in the 80s . 
i don't know if this film went into production after boogie nights was released , but christopher has managed to plagiarize paul thomas anderson's brilliant work in every possible way , from the framework of the plot down to the style of the cinematography . 
what it lacks is everything that made boogie nights great : depth , intelligence , energy , fascinating characters , and challenging themes . 
54 can't even measure up to the last days of disco , which is flawed , but still smart and entertaining . 
it's remarkably bad timing , i'd say , to release a film this tedious after a couple of noteworthy pictures of the same kind . 
i have exaggerated , though : there is one interesting character , and one terrific performance . 
that character is steve rubell , played with more perceptiveness by mike myers than this limp production deserves . 
steve rubell is the owner of studio 54 , and if christopher had focused on him , then myers could have forced a good film out of this wreck all by himself . 
alas , we are instead guided to endure the trials of a young man named shane ( ryan phillippe ) , a going-nowhere new jersey teen who gets a job in the club , thanks to rubell's homosexual impulses . 
it's here that he meets his friends , the array of uninteresting characters : his co-worker , greg ( brecklin meyer ) , his wife , anita ( salma hayek ) , and , of course , the love interest , julie black ( neve campbell ) . 
shane is just an innocent young fool in the beginning , and he has a reasonably sturdy home life . 
 ( some of the scenes with his father border on interesting , while heather matarazzo , who plays his sister , pushes phillippe off the screen . ) 
but he decides to envelop himself in the disco scene , and succumb to peer pressure and to drugs . 
why his "" friends "" push him into drugs is never really explained , but the fact that they are "" friends "" is questioned only is superficial ways ( greg gets really mad at shane because he's been elevated to bartender status ) . 
there isn't a single conflict that takes center stage , except that shane has some kind of unexplored reservation with the business in which he works . 
most of the film is dumb , and most of the dialogue is inane . 
there's a scene late in the film in which shane confronts julie black , and , in the next scene , they're arm-in-arm without a bit of development . 
then , they're kissing in a bowling alley ! 
this is five minutes of material , thrown into the picture at the last minute ( well past the one-hour mark , and this isn't a long film to begin with ) . 
campbell is a talented actress , but she needs a role that gives her a little depth . 
this one doesn't . 
and phillippe has almost no presence whatsoever ; this performance pales in comparison to mark whalberg's star-making role in boogie nights . 
he seems dumb and misguided , and his voice never changes tone . 
i guess he was picked for the color of his hair and the shape of his body , but he seems pretty lanky to me . 
he's all wrong for a lead role , but it doesn't help that christopher has forgotten to develop his characters . 
by the end of 54 , shane's most notable trait is his stupid , fake accent . 
the rest of the performances are wasted . 
hayek is an energetic , talented young actress , and does almost nothing here . 
meyer is endearing , but allowed to be no deeper than cardboard . 
only myers , by sheer force of talent , manages to rise above christopher's wading-pool of a script . 
rubell has been written just as depthless as the rest of the characters , but myers is good enough to inject subtleties that help round out the performance . 
in fact , myers is the sole reason to see 54 , and all it really does is make you wish that the film had revolved around him . 
i've read that studio 54 has been recreated down to the last detail . 
frankly , i don't care . 
it's easy to recreate something technical like this . 
a fairly skilled production designer and a few carpenters can manage such a task . 
besides , christopher keeps the lights so low that the sets are invisible , anyway . 
aside from myers' performance , 54 is a complete failure . 
it's dull , perfunctory , uninspired , and boring . 
some may find my comparisons to boogie nights unfair , but they're so obvious to me . 
in any event , 54 is pallid without the contrast . 
it doesn't even work as mindless entertainment : it's so shallow that the most escapist viewers are likely to dismiss it . 
so , don't forget those key words : dull , perfunctory , uninspired , and boring . 
everything else i said was just padding . 
"
"-1","an experience like baby geniuses can have certain effects on an average moviegoer . 
you may be scarred for life after seeing this petrified piece of garbage , which is so disarmingly horrible that it may cause you to ponder it's hollywood existence . 
when i think of the screenwriters behind this film , i picture a room full of monkeys . 
the monkeys are pounding on their typewriters while scratching themselves . 
all of the monkeys combine their efforts , hop in a cab and take the finished product downtown to director bob clark's office . 
the designated monkey explains the plot by jumping up and down on clark's desk while flailing his arms and shrieking . 
the director appears to be deep in thought , until he slams his fist down on the desktop and exclaims `i love it ! ! ! ' 
the writing behind this project is embarrassing . 
for your amusement , i will explain the plot . 
dr . kinder ( kathleen turner ) and dr . heep ( christopher lloyd ) are two of the cold-hearted executives at the baby geniuses institute , where peculiar studies are going on . 
as the story goes , there is an ancient myth explaining that babies ( ages 2 and under ) know all the secrets of the world from previous life experiences . 
when they move past this phase , they become like any other drooling toddler . 
kinder and heep want to unlock the secrets using their test babies , namely little sylvester ( sly for short ) , who can break in or out of any given situation so efficiently that he would be right at home on the mission : impossible team . 
there is so much crap derived from this premise , despite the fact it's virtually identical to the plot in look who's talking ! 
 ( a far superior film in any league ) . 
you will be able to determine the quality of the film by examining the opening scene . 
sylvester has broken out and managed to elude several security guards with his amazing intellect and kung-fu tactics . 
question : it's obvious the babies are super-smart , but why are they able to fight like jackie chan ? ? 
the adults in this film are furiously beaten by these youngsters in diapers . 
it's a shock when writers will stoop this low just to draw cheap laughs by using john hughes' familiar home alone formula . 
i also found it disturbing that the babies in this film have attitude and endless 90's knowledge , quoting numerous movies and insulting their adult captors . 
the effects in baby geniuses ( similar to the talking animals in babe ) are pathetic , the editing is a disaster , and the jokes are never funny . 
the only reason viewers may avoid vomiting is the argument that the babies are `cute' . 
i suppose they are . 
i can admit to smiling a few times because the babies were cute . 
other instances , though , i was howling in laughter due to the inane stupidity of the script . 
there are supporting characters who have no personality whatsoever ; their entire existence is based on punch lines . 
peter macnicol and kim cattrall , as an unwilling couple who have adopted sylvester's twin , are both miscast . 
then again , i don't suppose any performer could handle the uneven material without looking incredibly stupid . 
meanwhile , dom deluise plays a fellow who gets hit in the crotch with a monkey wrench ( hahaha ) . 
i would avoid baby geniuses at all costs . 
instead of watching this , i would recommended filling your bathtub with cement and going snorkeling . 
or perhaps you would consider going diving in shark-infested waters . 
anything to avoid this painful movie . 
the final line in the film , spoken by the bratty sylvester , is `if they think i'm doing the sequel for less than $20 mill , they're nuts' . 
sequel ? 
please have mercy . 
"
"-1"," "" houston . we have a serious problem . "" 
after making "" mission : impossible "" , brian de palma has a lot to live up to . 
by making an epic science fiction and inviting great cast and talented crew , he hopes to reach the modern audience . 
and the possibilities are certainly there , but the result is a great disaster . 
starting in a near future , with a prologue copied from "" apollo 13 "" , de palma slowly builds up his "" story "" . 
the human race has already set foot on mars . 
a research expedition has vanished without trace on the red planet and another one has been sent to find out what happened . 
this is basically the whole plot . 
so it's hard to imagine that it can be stretched to 2 hours . 
but de palma manages to do that . 
it is not a very good achievement . 
as we follow this expedition to mars and watch them slowly float in space , the hardest thing to do is stay awake . 
the film's major problem is that it tries to seem more clever than it is . 
david mamet's dialogue , while trying to seem natural , is distant and simply fake . 
de palma and mamet wanted to combine action with a thought provoking plot . 
the result is more like an unsuccessful mutation of kubrick's "" 2001 : a space odyssey "" , "" apollo 13 "" and "" godzilla "" . 
to make time pass , the creators have inserted several "" refreshing "" scientific details , that would not convince a half-crazed frog . 
it consists of multiple copies and direct ripp-offs from several great science fiction films and stories . 
when it finally presents an almost original idea , it falls flat because of its uncovered stupidity . 
i can't even call this film predictable , since no one with a healthy imagination can come up with something like this . 
sometimes it gets so cheesy , that you'll start laughing when you're supposed to cry and cry when you're supposed to laugh . 
you'll see enormous sandstorms , hear mysterious sounds and , last but not least , on this "" constantly surprising "" tour you'll see -- an alien . 
it's really hard to find comparisons to such an experience , and i know that i've never said that before ( i thought i never would ) , but "" lost in space "" is actually better . 
that's an achievement in itself ! 
director brian de palma has stroke gold with "" untouchables "" that became an instant american classic . 
it is for this film that he will be remembered , while all his other failures will be forgotten . 
he'll live to fight another day ! 
i send the actors my condolences , since they truly do try to transform into their undeveloped and dull characters . 
and both the cinematography , production design and art direction are very decent . 
it is because of the achievement of 254 people , that i rate this film 2/10 . 
unfortunately their hard work was in vain . 
if you have problems with insomnia , i recommend you this film . 
if you're not asleep within the first half hour , consult your doctor . 
"
"-1","gun wielding arnold schwarzenegger has a change of heart by the film's end and becomes a believer in god instead of a skeptic , going through an amazing transformation by having a christian epiphany in the final scene as he becomes someone who can now beat the devil by his faith alone . . . this is after two hours of throwing people out windows and shooting more people than your average serial killer . 
nobody can save this bomb from it's own stupidity and arrogance in filmmaking and arrogance in believing that this is a positive religious-type of film . 
it's just a pile of dreck . . . an 
ill-conceived exploitive project , a pyrotechnical film . 
 "" end of days "" aims to be an apocalyptic thriller . 
it features an idiotic script , a hack director , and a one-dimensional star who is past his prime . . . which 
makes this film dumber than dumb , plus it's not funny , not campy , or is it in the least bit entertaining . 
it's just dreary and unwatchable . . . a 
big-budget slasher film . 
arnold plays an alcoholic security guard who finds his new mission in life is to stop satan ( occupying gabriel byrne's body and possessing a wall st . bank account ) from destroying the world . 
the film opens in vatican city , roma 1979 -- where the pope is alerted by a young visionary priest tomaso , looking out at the night sky and seeing a comet whiz by , who proclaims after looking at his scrolls -- that's the sign for the 'eye of god , ' which reveals that a child has been born who is being prepared to give birth to satan's baby ( the anti-christ ) in the hour before the new century begins , when satan will fuck her and open up the gates to hell on earth . 
tomaso has some twenty years to find this woman and save her and the world from doom . 
but some in the pope's circle want to kill her if found , even though the pope insists on having faith and letting her live , as he lectures them : "" even in the world's darkest days -- doing evil doesn't stop evil , but brings on more evil . "" 
we saw the girl being born in nyc in 1979 , which seems to be the 'logical' place to look for satan according to the astrology charts of the visionaries . 
the chosen woman is christine york ( robin ) . 
it is now a few days before the new year celebration for 2000 and arnold and his wise-cracking security guard partner kevin pollack are hired to guard a wall street turd , and when he is fired upon by a renograde priest , thomas aquinas , arnold saves him and through a ridiculous chase captures the tongue less priest who fired the shot . 
he , nevertheless , can speak and tells arnold an 'end of days' is coming as prophesized in revelations . 
but satan gets to him in his hospital room and nails him to the ceiling while scribbling latin warnings of 'the end of the world' on his body . 
it is now up to arnold to save the world and find the chosen woman . 
he quickly finds christine and does everything to protect her from all the evil forces around her , as the film includes ludicrous helicopter rescues , people jumping out of windows , satan taking a piss and dropping a match to kill arnold's partner as the piss explodes like gasoline , satan being fired at . . . resulting in his sometimes experiencing pain and sometimes nothing , as if the director forgot which way he wants to have it . 
there is nothing spared in nyc from fire bombs -- including the subway , churches , and luxury buildings . 
the only trouble with all these high-budget action sequences , was that it lacked purpose and even entertainment value . 
the story was so terrible and inaccurate , that it did not have an iota of value or credibility . 
mercifully the movie drags to a final confrontation in times square , trying unsuccessfully to build tension to the countdown toward the year 2000 . 
why is the end of 1999 considered to be the devil's number "" 666 , '' well ! 
 . . . 
satan's numeral is actually "" 999 , '' which is upside down of "" 666 . '' 
accordingly , you just put a "" 1'' in front of it-- and bingo -- you get "" 1999 . '' 
with logic like that , this film might even think it pulled the wool over the viewer's eyes and got away with such a febrile explanation of the occult . 
this film should become a classic used by film schools in how not to make a horror film . 
i highly recommend seeing it for that purpose . 
"
"-1","after enduring mariah carey's film debut , glitter , i'm reminded of a bit from chris rock's bigger and blacker . 
in response to women saying that they can raise a child without a man , rock says , "" you can drive a car with your feet , but that don't mean it should be done . "" 
to that i say , you can give mariah carey a movie , but that certainly don't mean it should be done . 
sure , there are plenty of pop star film vehicles out there -- from the beatles' a hard day's night to the spice girls' spice world -- but none have been so vapidly pointless or laughable as glitter . 
everything about this complete tripe is ludicrous . 
start off with the story , which -- as gruesomely predictable as it is -- is the least offensive part of the movie . 
the film is inexplicably set in the 80s , a period piece that really shows no sign of its period except for a few chicks in leg warmers . 
worse yet , everyone's speaking late 90s hip-hop slang in what should be 1983 . 
meant to be partially autobiographical , carey plays billie frank , a young singer in new york who struggles to overcome a rough childhood and abandonment by her alcoholic mother . 
influential club dj julian dice , a . k . a . "" lucky 7 "" ( max beesley playing a bad mix of puff daddy and robert de niro ) , hears her sing on a track , and decides to make her a star . 
in predictably rapid succession , billie and dice fall for each other , she starts hitting it big , dice gets jealous and starts acting like an ass , and suddenly billie's on "" the roller coaster of superstardom . "" 
in the meantime , billie is on an emotional hunt for her missing mom . 
i won't give away the ending , but -- honestly -- just think of unicorns and rainbows . . . 
you'll figure it out . 
the movie screams to be made with camp , and that could've been fun . 
but the filmmakers thought making the bulk of glitter weepy and dramatic would be better . 
what a mistake . 
the brief attempts at comic relief -- as in a scene where an effeminate russian-sounding director gets wacky with filming billie's first music video -- go over like lead balloons . 
instead , the audience at my screening tended to laugh loudest during mariah's most dramatic scenes . 
which brings us to the performances , of which there's nothing good that can be said . 
mariah is primarily seen with a wide-eyed deer-in-the-headlights look frozen on her face . 
she actually looks scared during her one love scene . 
but you have to wonder if the writing isn't even worse . 
so much of the dialogue is so hackneyed and watered down for carey's virginal target audience that it's probably impossible for any actor to pull it off with aplomb . 
even the characters couldn't have been written more absurdly . 
they're all members of a barbie playset : the important film director who swoons , "" billie , i'd love to put you in a movie i'm making , "" and the big-time record executive who takes billie's demo tape and says , "" oh , i'll make sure the whole team listens to it in the morning . "" 
everyone in the film is a device , and it's painful to keep watching just to see another one appear . 
to say more would be a waste . 
there's so much wrong with this film . 
and , it pains me that mariah carey -- with her ego and sanity in such fragile condition these days , as evidenced by her multiple hospital stays -- will have to suffer through all the negative reviews she's likely to get . 
but , then again , i had to suffer through her movie . 
"
"-1","poster boy for co-dependency needs patching 
patch adams a film review by michael redman copyright 1999 by michael redman 
mediocrity is a pox on civilization . 
in our heavily consumer oriented society , there is an enormous demand to churn out "" stuff . "" 
what would happen to our economy if we didn't feel the need to have more things ? 
to make us buy more , businesses need to produce a ton of product . 
the sheer volume of items necessitates that most of them are of dubious quality . 
the film industry is like any other . 
in order for studios to survive , they have to make money . 
the prevailing attitude is that more films equal more profit . 
some movies obviously exist only to put wares on the screen and to do that , less talented people are used . 
there aren't enough great directors and actors to create the number of films necessary . 
for some reason , it's never crossed anyone's mind that the real equation is quality films = more profit . 
often , mediocre films are more of a pain for the audience than the horrendous ones . 
at you can have a good time making fun of bad movies . 
i'm not suggesting that "" patch adams "" was tossed out just to rake in the bucks . 
my guess is that someone was asleep at the wheel . 
it features an accomplished actor and a potentially engrossing story , but it's as dull as could be . 
hunter "" patch "" adams' ( robin williams ) desire to become a doctor has an unusual genesis . 
checking himself into a mental institute after a suicide attempt , he discovers that he can help the other patients by clowning around . 
patch could be a poster boy for co-dependency . 
he explains that he likes devoting himself to others because then he doesn't focus on his own problems . 
he decides that he wants to be a physician , leaves the place and a couple of years later enrolls in the medical college of virginia . 
as a med student , patch's antics at the school's hospital catch the attention of his soon to be arch-enemy , straight-laced dean walcott ( bob gunton ) . 
the dean is so opposed to the goofiness that he wants patch kicked out of school although he's one of the top students . 
he writes in patch's academic file that he shows "" excessive happiness . "" 
i walked into the film knowing little about its history and wondered about its odd mechanical pacing . 
there also seemed to be no reason that it is set in the early seventies . 
then it struck me . 
it must be based on a true story . 
the movie is an adaptation of a book by hunter adams who founded the gesundheit institute , a free clinic . 
robin williams is an amazing actor . 
while he is adept at dramatic roles , his forte is over-the-top free spirits . 
that's what makes his failure here so remarkable . 
patch is exactly the character he should be best at , yet even the scene where he and another mental patient are battling fierce imaginary squirrels falls flat . 
something holds him back . 
most of the rest of the cast is two-dimensional . 
for a film that champions seeing patients as human beings , it's curious that the ones here are cardboard characters . 
peter coyote as a man dying of cancer is refreshing because he seems like a real person . 
unfortunately he's in the film for only about two minutes . 
the audience is blatantly lead by a ring in its nose from scene to scene . 
we're not left to our own emotional decisions : we're hit over the head with them . 
shaved-headed children with cancer , an elderly woman whom patch makes laugh , a beautiful woman who can't love because of her abusive history . 
when a group of students fix up an old house to use as a clinic in the andy hardy "" hey , let's put on a play ! 
we can use the barn and my mom can make the curtains ! "" 
mode , they laugh and roll around while painting each other . 
there might as well be giant signs flashing : "" feel good now ! "" 
 "" feel bad now ! "" 
 "" patch "" is a good title for the film . 
it is a patchwork of every manipulative scene you can think of . 
the full-of-life student fights stodgy establishment types . 
there's a touching death . 
then there's another . 
the film doesn't trust us to get it the first time . 
the dean tries to kick patch out and later he tries again . 
worst of all is the final courtroom bit . 
scary-looking old men sit in judgment of a man who only wants to help people . 
the room is packed with patch's supporters . 
williams makes a supposedly impassioned speech about the humanity of all . 
it has as much emotion as his earlier statement "" humans are the only animal that kills members of its own species "" contains truth . 
most of the blame must be placed with the director tom shadyac and screenwriter steve oedekerk . 
shadyac also directed the first "" ace ventura "" movie . 
oedekerk directed the second one . 
need i say more ? 
the real adams is to be admired for his devotion to treating patients as people rather than diseases . 
the film has a number of worthy messages about the state of the modern medical business with hmos and managed care . 
the "" doctors are not gods "" theme will resonate with a number of people , but it's so poorly produced that no one will care . 
"
"-1","young einstein is embarrassingly lame , but that didn't stop it from becoming a phenomenon in australia , where it became the third largest box office hit of all time . 
in the u . s . , warner brothers is hoping the movie will follow in the footsteps of paul hogan , inxs , and shrimp on the barby to become the latest rage from down under . 
personally , i'm hoping americans everywhere will rise to the occasion and make young einstein a box office bomb . 
young einstein sprang from the twisted mind of yahoo serious , who not only wrote , produced , edited , and directed the film , but also starred and did his own stunts . 
his creation is about as stupid and contrived as you'd expect from someone named yahoo . 
the movie takes substantial historical liberties in recreating einstein's youth . 
whereas the scientist actually hailed from germany , the film finds him still living with his parents on tasmania , a remote australian island . 
in addition to deriving the formula for energy and the theory of relativity , albert invents surfing , bubbles in beer , and the electric guitar . 
yahoo plays einstein as a naive and unrefined country hick--a clown with an insatiable curiosity . 
although yahoo's performance is at first endearing , the one-dimensional characterization loses its novelty faster than you can say e=mc2 . 
yahoo has created a charming family for albert , and the scenes on tasmania are often clever . 
but after the first twenty minutes , the movie quickly plummets and degenerates into a poor excuse for a comedy . 
young einstein is hampered by its lethargic pace and inane plot . 
yahoo must be an mtv addict because his movie features an omnipresent soundtrack ; unfortunately , the music is altogether gratuitous and quickly becomes overbearing . 
almost every other scene includes a blaring rock song that leaves you wondering whether you are watching a movie or a music video . 
the instrumental score , on the other hand , is generally playful ; yahoo uses such classics as the "" 1812 overture "" and the theme from the good , the bad and the ugly to great comic effect . 
halfway through young einstein , i knew for sure the movie was a stinker . 
but it wasn't until the very end that i finally put my finger on why : the comedy takes its roots not from whimsical film fantasies ( such as young sherlock holmes ) but from cheesy prime-time sitcoms . 
in fact , young einstein might have been more at home on network television , where its sophomoric humor wouldn't raise any eyebrows . 
"
"-1","this is the last carry on film with its almost intact regular cast and it is the swansong of hattie jacques and sid james . 
dick turpin ( sid james ) and his gang which includes harriett/harry ( barbara windsor ) and tom "" doc "" scholl ( peter butterworth ) , terrorise the countryside by staging highway robberies : "" stand and deliver ! "" 
owing to the increased occurrence of turpin's robberies , captain desmond fancey of the bow street runners ( kenneth williams ) and his sidekick sergeant jock strapp ( jack douglas ) visit turpin's area of influence to bring him to justice . 
they are under the express orders of sir roger daley ( bernard bresslaw ) . 
their intellect does not count for much and when they increasingly become suspicious of reverend flasher aka dick turpin ( sid james ) , whom they confided in earlier , they still cannot believe that the rector has any part in these robberies . 
however , once they catch harriett and put her in jail , and sir roger daley takes complete charge , it seems that there is no hope for dick turpin . 
then again , sir roger has assigned the dimwits fancey and jock strapp aswell as the old dithering constable ( kenneth connor ) to keep an eye on their prisoner ! 
there is no doubt that this is a 'sid james' carry on movie . 
he excels in double roles ( as in 'carry on- don't lose your head' ) and his performance as flasher and turpin is hilarious . 
barbara windsor is also funny as harriett the sex mad housemaid and member of the gang , and hattie jacques' small but effective role as the rector's housekeeper martha hoggett is played to perfection . 
jack douglas plays a milder version of his excruciatingly annoying on-screen persona and kenneth williams is given a rather mundane part . 
peter butterworth is not allowed to shine in his boring performance as tom , and bernard bresslaw's character appears only briefly in the film . 
the only notable performance from the support cast comes from joan sims as madame desiree , who is travelling around the country escorting her starlets the 'birds of paradise' and sporting a fake french accent . 
when her girls and her are robbed by turpin , she is determined to catch him and helps the reverend to find the culprit ! 
a carry on by the numbers , this movie is only notable for the great performance by sid james in his last carry on movie . 
the jokes are bluer , the script is poorer ( it is the last script written by talbot rothwell ) , but the music is a marked improvement . 
although nearly all the regulars appear , they seem to be just going through the motions . 
none of the high spirits of the earlier films are apparent here . 
just a selection of crude jokes and repititive double-entendres . 
"
"-1","one of the first films of 1999 is this mtv pictures release which marks the first leading feature role for james van der beek , the star of the wb's runaway hit dawson's creek . 
following in the foot steps of mtv's two other live action films , joe's apartment ( 1996 ) and dead man on campus ( 1998 ) , varsity blues is a bad film and is unlikely to cause much of a sensation in the marketplace . 
set in west cannan , texas , the film examines the small town obsession with high school football through the eyes of second string quarterback john "" mox "" moxon ( van der beek ) . 
we know he's smart because he reads kurt vonnegut instead of the playbook . 
coach bud kilmer ( jon voight ) has been around so long there is actually a bronze statue commemorating him . 
the star quarterback , lance harbor ( paul walker ) , is a handsome , blonde , hero who has his own billboard in his front yard and dates the sexy head cheerleader , darcy ( ali larter ) . 
also on the team are an enormous guy ( ron lester ) with some health problems and the token african-american team member ( eliel swinton ) whose only real dialogue scene deals directly with the color of his skin . 
when lance is seriously injured , mox gets his chance to shine and he runs with it , undermining kilmer with his unusual playing strategies . 
his relationship with his dutiful girlfriend , jules ( amy smart ) , is threatened and there's a big game at the end . 
guess who wins ? 
nothing about varsity blues is inspired and the whole film simply moves through the sort of conventional motions that coach kilmer would love . 
there's a chance for some smart satire on small town obsessions but the humor here is decidedly lowbrow . 
van der beek does a decent job of carrying his first film although a silly accent trips him up sometimes . 
also , the role isn't very much of a stretch from his dawson leary character . 
he's still a pseudo-intellectual , whiny , nice guy , except here he also happens to be a jock . 
voight is a terror as he chews up every single piece of scenery and spits it out . 
the other adults are all notably awful while the younger performers don't fare much better . 
on the positive side , walker is a charismatic actor who is due for a breakout role following this and his supporting turn in pleasantville ( 1998 ) . 
scott ( son of james ) caan has some lively moments as tweeder , the team's wild man . 
larter , as a gorgeous seductress looking for a one way ticket out of texas , gets to show off the film's most interesting costumes , including a very eye-opening "" whipped cream bikini . "" 
it's interesting to note that the film definitely earns its r-rating with a lot of harsh language , alcohol abuse and an unusually high amount of nudity ( including a gratuitous trip to a strip bar that reveals a not very surprising surprise ) . 
all this is likely to come as a shock to the young female fan base of dawson's creek , presumably the target audience for the picture . 
director brian robbins previously helmed the kids feature good burger ( from nickelodeon films , a sister company of mtv ) and changes directions here a bit but still fails to make much of an impression . 
the look of the movie is as bland as the town and characters who populate it . 
the football scenes are generally unexciting and the entire film looks a bit washed out . 
there's an ok soundtrack featuring music from collective soul , foo fighters , green day and aaliyah but it's not as impressive as one would expect from a mtv film . 
"
"-1","susan granger's review of "" america's sweethearts "" ( columbia/sony ) 
what a waste of a talented cast ! 
billy crystal and co-writer peter tolan have concocted a sly , provocative premise and , as the opening credits roll , it's obvious that they're attempting an old-fashioned romantic comedy . 
the story involves a veteran publicist ( billy crystal ) who is summoned to orchestrate a press junket in las vegas when an arrogant director ( christopher walken ) holds a megabuck movie hostage in his editing room , refusing to show it to anyone . 
he figures that by giving the journalists juicy hints of a possible reconciliation between the film's once-married-but-now-estranged stars , gwen and eddie ( catherine zeta-jones , john cusack ) , they'll be so distracted that they won't remember they didn't see the movie or it wasn't what they expected . 
 ( and crystal thought of this long before a sony exec concocted the phony critic/david manning quote scandal ! ) 
for help , he turns to gwen's personal assistant/sister ( julia roberts ) . 
but the laughs are few and far-between . 
crystal's glib , cynical flack isn't wickedly funny enough with a few amusing one-liners . 
after six months under the care of a depak chopra-like guru ( alan arkin ) , cusack's character's too emotionally fragile , lacking the necessary charisma . 
zeta-jones's vain , narcissistic diva is undeveloped and one-dimensional . 
only hank azaria , as zeta-jones's much-macho spanish lover , and stanley tucci , as a studio exec , and roberts manage to whip up any farcical froth . 
basically , we don't like these ego-driven , stereotypical characters , let alone root for them to unwind their romantic entanglements , and joe roth's direction is predictable , formulaic and telegraphic . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" america's sweethearts "" is a contrived , shallow 4 . as a screwball satire , it's strictly superficial . 
"
"-1","susan granger's review of "" jeepers creepers "" ( mgm/ua entertainment ) 
this nasty , little horror film begins as a bickering brother ( justin long ) and sister ( gina philips ) are driving through the desolate countryside on their way home from college and spy a man dropping wrapped-up bodies down a drainage pipe . 
when long decides to investigate , there's nothing but trouble . 
 "" you know the part in scary movies where somebody does something really stupid and everybody hates them for it ? 
- well , this is it ! "" 
philips warns . 
what he finds in the basement of an old , abandoned church is a dying boy with a horrifying , jagged-stitched incision from his neck to his navel , plus hundreds of other mutilated bodies , stitched together on the walls and ceiling like a disgusting tapestry . 
long flees but now the monstrous , winged creeper ( jonathan breck ) is after both of them ! 
eileen brennan appears briefly as the cat lady and patricia belcher is jezelle , a psychic who explains the evil creature's bizarre feeding habits . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" jeepers creepers "" is a fiendishly visceral 2 with an extraordinarily gruesome conclusion , giving new meaning to the old song "" jeepers creepers . "" 
and now - as paul harvey would say - for the rest of the story . 
what's more scary than the cruelty of the satanic film itself is the fact that writer/director victor salva is a convicted child molester who videotaped himself having oral sex with a 12 year-old actor in california . 
sentenced to three years in prison , he served 15 months and completed parole in 1992 . 
when salva made "" powder "" ( 1995 ) , the story of an albino boy with supernatural abilities , disney studio executives claimed that they did not know about his prior conviction as a pedophile . 
and now , once again , in this mgm/ua film , that fact is conspicuously absent from his press kit bio . 
"
"-1","this independent film written and directed by eric bross has the look and feel of all those other troubled blue-collar youth films that have inundated the market in recent times . 
it is hard to tell what is independent about this film ; it might as well have been made in hollywood or on a home videocam . 
it is the debut film for the director , who tells his personal story about italians growing up with heavy new jersey accents and remaining tight with each other as they grow into young adults , a tale which could have been rewarding to see in the 1950s , where the mind-set of all the characters depicted is grounded , but to see it in the 1990s is a different story : it is old news . 
the love story between the simple girl waiting to get married and her luckless boyfriend turning nasty on her doesn't mean much , since their relationship remained undeveloped . 
the introduction of the wise-guy angle and the loyality among buddies bit , are not moving enough emotional experiences or intelligent enough dramatics to elevate this film above its limited story line despite the tour-de-force performance by the star of the film , adrien brody as ray . 
ray is the only son of a low-level mobster once arrested for running an illegal casino operation out of his bloomfield , new jersey , suburban basement . 
ray sr . ( vincent ) is now trying to make a go of it by running a small scale home-repair business . 
his son lives with him and works unhappily as a shoe salesman , dreaming of getting rich quickly so he can open a business and marry his long-time waitress girlfriend joanne ( sybil ) . 
the title of this film refers to the shoe size of paul newman-10b , which really has nothing to do with explaining anything about the film . you 
should be aware that there are a lot of things about this film that don't make sense : its constant brainless chatter between the buddies , their uneventful growing pains , and the despair of their lives , make it very difficult to feel any empathy for them . 
desperate to make his dream come through , ray goes to a loanshark , humorously and menacingly played by james e . moriarty , and borrows 10 grand to bet on a "" sure thing "" at freehold raceway . 
the horse loses and now ray has big problems , as the loanshark comes after him with his muscle to get his dough . 
there is nothing i have seen so far to like about ray . 
he is undependable , mean-spirited , and stupid . 
so when his best friend mike ( gallagher ) , the narrator of the film , gets a chance to sleep with his girlfriend--who cares ? 
the director must be kidding himself if he thinks we do . 
as for ray's gambling debt and his dilemma of how to pay it off , the story is too predictable for anything other than what you would expect to happen . 
his buddies , the college student mike and the dependable butchie ( gillan ) , and his old man , who he has this love/hate relationship with , rally to his aid . 
and the film ends on an obligatory artistic note of ambiguity , that seems to be the way it is for all those wannabe artistic films , as ray is off to florida all by his lonesome self to try to put his life together . 
there was just no energy or spark or anything relevant in this superficial film to keep it interesting , though adrien brody showed signs that he could be a future star . 
because of his intensity and looks , he reminds me of sean penn . 
"
"-1","come on hollywood , surprise me . 
stop giving us these poorly written thrillers with banal dialogue , sketchy characters and plots as predictable as the sunset . 
the always watchable morgan freeman plays a detective who becomes personally involved in a case involving missing girls . 
personal , because his niece is one of the victims . 
it's a slobbering psychopath , of course , but this time there's a twist . 
freeman notes that each of the young women who've disappeared are all strong willed , assertive , and more successful in their careers than the average girl . 
we soon learn that the guy calls himself casanova , whose aim is to "" dominate "" these modern gals by imprisoning them in some dungeon and keeping them as his personal harem . 
anyway , one of the women manages to escape ( ashly judd ) and teams up with freeman to . . . well , 
you know the rest . 
a brief glance at the plot to silence of the lambs , with which this film is constantly being compared to by the hype merchants , may suggest lambs also has a fairly predictable story . 
perhaps , but that film also has superbly drawn characters and smart dialogue . 
so lets not insult a great movie by taking the comparisons any further , okay ? 
and as for comparisons to seven . . . oh 
please ! 
kiss the girls is based on the novel by james patterson and written for the screen by one david klass . 
maybe the novel was a stinker to start with , but whatever the case , it's the writing that's clearly at fault here . 
one , these characters have very little to say that's engaging or interesting . 
two , the script has no sense of humour . 
three , while the notion of a psycho's victims being smart , successful women is an interesting twist , the execution isn't even half as good as the idea . 
thus , ashly judd comes across all out of focus , instead of being the heart of the story . 
we can't feel her rage . 
some atrociously written casual exchanges between her and several male characters are supposed to remind us that she's the no-bullshit 90's type , but these conversations barely register . 
and as for freeman , kiss the girls is his second dog in a year : first chain reaction , now this . 
for an actor of his calibre , this is most worrying . 
young director gary fleder scored a hit a few years back with his quirky pulp fiction-esque things to do in denver when your dead . 
but what can he do with material as resolutely mediocre as this ? 
not much , and you can hardly blame him . 
there's a few well-staged chase scenes through the forest where the camera whirls , dives and jumps , and the effect is startling . 
but the script is beyond rescue . 
what hurts most is that hollywood continues to get away with serving up this tripe , safe in the knowledge that jaded audiences will lap it up . 
complacency rules : it's been so long since we saw a mainstream american thriller that delivered juicy characters , real surprises and consistently sharp dialogue . 
the only consolation for this viewer is that my ticket to the movie was a freebie , positive proof that the best things in life aren't free . . . . 
 . 
"
"-1","capsule : the much anticipated re-adaptation of the pierre boulle novel comes to the screen as a dark and a little dreary film with lots of chases and fighting , but very little intelligence . 
visually there is much to like about this version , but the approach is to take an adventure after the style of gulliver's travels and treat it as an action film . 
that makes it a film without much center . 
 , 0 ( -4 to +4 ) 
pierre boulle , author of the bridge on the river kwai , wrote planet of the apes ( a . k . a . monkey planet ) , the novel , as a social satire . 
it reads a lot like a fifth book of gulliver's travels . 
humans discover a planet in which the roles of apes and humans have been reversed , not unlike the roles of horses and humans on jonathan swift's island of the houyhnhnms . 
the novel moves somewhat slowly to create some suspense in revealing all the things most film fans know to be true about the nature of the planet . 
it seems to me there is also a statement about human cruelty to animals , but perhaps i was just looking for that . 
when rod serling adapted the novel into a film released in 1968 , he added a number of serling touches , familiar from episodes of the twilight zone and changed the ending to make it more serling-ish . 
the final irony of the original version has become film history . 
without it there could never have been a "" planet of the apes "" film series . 
i can surmise only that serling ran into serious script problems in how to handle the tricky question of language . 
in the book the apes had their own language and the human eventually learned that language . 
that could have been done in the film , but that would have required the entire film to be subtitled for the non-ape-speaking . 
serling avoided this by having the apes speak english and , of course , there is some justification for that by the end of the film . 
justifying why the apes spoke english may have even been the inspiration for his surprise ending . 
but serling never tackles the all-important question of why a supposedly intelligent human never shows any curiosity or even surprise that the apes speak his own language , a language they had no opportunity to ever hear . 
few viewers questioned this serious plot hole , however , and the film has become well respected in cinema history . 
partial credit at least should go to jerry goldsmith whose extremely inventive score is one of goldsmith's best if not his best . 
when the film's success called for sequels , the filmmakers turned up the violence and they added well-intentioned , though not very subtle , political messages about what was happening in the united states of the 1960s and 1970s . 
while the first film had a little shooting of guns and what was there seemed a little half- hearted , by the second film , beneath the planet of the apes , there was a good deal more violence and from that point on the series had a lot of violence and chases . 
the series concluded with battle for the planet of the apes in 1973 . 
now director tim burton tries his hand at adapting the original book again . 
for those who thought that the 1968 version was not very faithful to the book , burton's new version is even less faithful . 
first , he does not really reverse the roles of the humans and the apes . 
he has them both be intelligent , articulate races battling for a dominance of the planet currently in the hands , uh , make that paws , of the apes . 
that could be a good story too , but it is not planet of the apes . 
as with the mission impossible films and so many other cinematic homages to the third quarter of the last century , the title makes promises that the filmmakers have no intention of honoring . 
in 2029 leo davidson ( mark wahlberg , not this world's most expressive actor ) works on a space station increasing the intelligence and usefulness of apes . 
then a convenient time storm sweeps him up wizard-of-oz-fashion and drops him on an alien planet . 
 ( yes , he survives this storm , but then no storm is perfect . ) 
he quickly finds , not greatly to any surprise he shows , that on this planet apes rule and humans drool , but everybody talks . 
and the language they talk is earth- english . 
apparently it does not even occur to leo that there is a mystery that needs to be explained about that . 
the fact it does not occur to leo and apparently didn't occur to tim burton either is the heart of the real horror of this film . 
both just assumed that if apes were going to talk the language they would speak would be english . 
in any case having one talking race dominating another makes this not a look at human-animal relationships and more one of the master-slave relationships . 
outside of sudan and a few other countries this is a less relevant topic . 
leo is captured to be used as a slave but also is discovered by ari , played by helena bonham carter . 
ari is an attractive ape with close ties to high political power . 
she is bent on making the world a better place . 
perhaps in a previous draft of the script she was called hil-ari . 
in any case with makeup that stifles her usual pout , carter is just about as attractive as she has ever been in a film . 
she may want to consider this to become her standard look from this point forward . 
it is not long before leo escapes with some human and only a couple of sympathetic apes . 
this is a further abandonment of the source material . 
the chase severely limits the interplay of ape and human and the examination of each's place in this reversed society , each important in the book . 
we cannot see how the society works because most of the screentime society has broken down . 
we see the humans either separated from the apes or fighting them . 
burton chooses visceral thrills over cerebral ones at almost every turn . 
this is a miscalculation , as characters so lacking in empathy value are difficult ones to place much emotional investment in . 
they are basically chess pieces and the viewer has little reason to root for them to win . 
the 1968 script had little subtlety , with lines like "" i never met an ape i didn't like , "" but at least we cared for what happened to taylor , the main character . 
most of what this film has to offer is in the visuals . 
the visual work is spotty but generally nicely done except that so much of the film takes place in the night or in fog . 
this tends to limit close looks at the makeup . 
in general it seems much improved from 1968 . 
the makeup team is led by rick baker instead of john chambers , who did it for the 1968 version . 
in 1968 chambers makeup was a jaw-dropper . 
it was realistic enough to almost be believable but flexible enough to show emotion . 
chambers is good , but if anyone had a chance to best him it would have to be baker . 
today audiences have higher expectations ; baker's visualization is really an improvement . 
these visuals work nicely . 
what does not work is the wire- assisted leaps some of the apes make . 
they look like they were inspired by the physics- defying leaps of crouching tiger , hidden dragon . 
apes spring incredible distances . 
some of the best scenes are apes running into battle looking like they have ape posture , but when they start flying through the air the effect is lost . 
one final visual problem is that the film frequently shows its budget in what should be spectacular battle scenes the camera shows us only a small group of people close-up . 
since the days of lon chaney and boris karloff few actors have crossed over to stardom in a role that required heavy make-up . 
the one actor who has a shot is paul giamatti . 
it is not that his lines are so good , most are silly jokes . 
but he delivers them very well . 
he was always a watchable actor , but has not yet made stardom . 
as the ape-trader limbo he over-emotes to overcome his ape make-up , but does it very well . 
in doing so he makes himself the most interesting thing on the screen . 
he is probably the best thing in the film and conjures up memories of peter ustinov's performance in spartacus . 
as an in-joke there are several lines in the script borrowed from the 1968 film and an old ape played by charleton heston becomes an allusion to the first film by itself . 
danny elfman's score has a nice primitive feel , but jerry goldsmith's 1968 tour de force score is a real classic . 
that score and the whole film will be remembered when the 2001 film is forgotten . 
i rate the remake 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"-1","i wish i could accurately describe the theme music for part 3 . 
the best way i can put it is that it's funky . 
i know this is an odd question , but remember the opening music of "" police academy 4 : citizens on patrol "" , when steve guttenberg and michael winslow perform the title song "" citizens on patrol "" during the opening credits ? 
it's just like that . 
anyway , part 3 takes place a day after the events of part 2 ( so technically still 1985 ) . 
this time , a group of horny teens ( who also bring along two aging hippie potheads for some reason ) head up to a cabin on crystal lake for a weekend of sex and weed . 
it turns out that one of the teens had been attacked by jason earlier in her life ( which must have been between parts 1 and 2 ) so why she has returned to crystal lake one day after a new batch of murders is beyond me . 
she's the lone survivor this time . 
part 3 was originally shown in theaters in 3-d , and from what i can tell from the video , it looks as though they may have been fairly decent effects . 
jason had long , wild hair when he was unmasked in part 2 . now , one day later he's completely bald . 
also , it being one day later , it can't be friday the 13th now can it ? 
oh well . 
steve miner is the only director who helmed more than one film in the series . 
[r] 
"
"-1","jessica lange is one of the most inconsistent actresses working today . 
from time-to-time , she blows away audiences with powerful , intense performances . 
on the other hand , this is the same woman who made her jaw-droppingly awful feature debut in dino delaurentiis' king kong . 
and , much as lange would probably prefer movie-goers to develop amnesia regarding that particular entry on her resume , every once in a while she does work that is reminiscent of it , if only in quality . 
hush is one such example . 
lange is so bad here that she might have been fun to watch if the rest of the film wasn't such a prime example of motion picture tedium . 
the film opens , as many so-called "" psychological thrillers "" do , by posing as a light drama . 
we are introduced to jackson ( johnathon schaech , last encounter in tom hanks' that thing you do ! ) and helen ( gwyneth paltrow ) , a picture perfect young couple who are very much in love . 
jackson is taking helen home for the holidays so she can meet his mother , martha ( lange ) . 
the moment i first saw martha , i started looking for fangs . 
soon , the wicked witch of the east is plotting a way for her son to get helen pregnant ( this involves poking a hole in a diaphragm ) . 
once that goal is accomplished , she manipulates events so that the expecting couple moves out of new york city to the horse farm where she lives . 
as long as she gets her way , martha is a perfectly amicable person , but when helen defies her , it's a declaration of war . 
hush has three very simple problems : it's incredibly dumb , it's incredibly boring , and it's incredibly predictable ( at least up to the stupefying ending ) . 
this film has absolutely nothing to recommend it , with the exception of a couple of nice shots of snow-covered fields and a quick glimpse of gwyneth paltrow's bare buttocks . 
frankly , it's embarrassing to watch a respected actress of lange's stature give a performance like this -- it's like a bad blanche dubois ( the role she played in a 1995 tv version of a streetcar named desire ) . 
meanwhile , paltrow does her best to get through her dialogue without gaping at the stupidity of some of her lines , and schaech attempts a passable imitation of an inanimate object . 
as in all psychological thrillers , the battle lines are clearly drawn . 
here , it's mom and against wife , with jackson caught in the middle . 
of course , since schaech's character is poorly-developed and badly acted , it's impossible to say how he feels about being in that situation . 
maybe someone should ask him if he's familiar with oedipus . 
martha is , of course , the evil one . 
how do we know she's evil ? 
she smokes cigarettes and drinks hard liquor -- two sure signs that the devil is at work . 
on the other hand , helen is a good girl . 
the evidence for this is that she's nice to old ladies and treasures a locket with a picture of her dead parents . 
that's about it for character development . 
beyond that point , hush is just a series of increasingly hard-to-swallow coincidences , contrivances , and moronic plot twists . 
however , the first 85 minutes are just a warm-up for the ending , which is as anticlimactic as it is profoundly dissatisfying . 
i can't imagine anyone , no matter what they thought of the movie as a whole , liking this conclusion . 
either there was some serious last-minute editing or someone left out a few pages of the script . 
before the climax , i disliked hush ; by the time the end credits started , i hated it . 
viewers invest something in every movie they watch , no matter how good or bad it is . 
cheating them like this is offensive and unpardonable . 
most entries into this worn-out , worm-eaten genre aren't especially good . 
films like consenting adults , the hand that rocks the cradle , and single white female rely on stock plots and predictable twists to propel the narrative along . 
in general , however , they're directed with a degree of competence that assures a level of sustained tension . 
that's not the case with really bad thrillers like this , which fail to generate even a momentary heart palpitation -- the characters are too bland and the plot is too uninvolving for anyone in the audience to care . 
indeed , the title of this movie probably refers to what the producers hope viewers will do in lieu of telling their friends what they really think of this sorry piece of celluloid . 
"
"-1","synopsis : sonny koufax ( adam sandler ) is a rich , childish , angry man who has just been dumped by his girlfriend vanessa ( kristy swanson ) . 
in a bid to impress vanessa sonny impersonates his friend kevin ( jon stewart ) and adopts a 5 year old boy named julian ( cole and dylan sprouse ) while kevin is on an overseas trip . 
under sonny's supervision julian soon learns to lie to women , tell people how he "" wipes his ass , "" throw tantrums , and scream for his "" god damned "" treats . 
self centered , julian breaks a school classmate's arm without apologizing or even realizing he has done anything wrong . 
meanwhile sonny bribes julian with sugary talk , food , toys , and flashy promises in order to get the kid to perform . 
not surprisingly the government takes julian away from sonny's incompetent supervision , and this leads to a custody battle . 
opinion : it's a movie about an embittered creep teaching a little kid to be a jerk , and we all get cheap laughs because for 90 minutes the innocent kindergartner never finds out what it means when he mimics all the bad boy behavior . 
that's the essence of big daddy . 
but there's a bigger issue involved : marketing . 
movies that are rated pg and pg-13 are heavily marketed towards children of preteen age and below . 
on tv , film clips advertise these movies as family-friendly hit comedies . 
then when you go see them they turn out to be either raunchy sex acts like austin powers with characters named fat bastard - - or big daddy where adult characters get their jollies by buddying up to naive five year olds and encouraging them to experiment with drugs and mistreatment . 
folks in hollywood are trying to develop a preteen market for raunchy stuff , but i think most american parents would agree that early childhood is a time of mental innocence that should be protected from uncaring media market exploitation . 
to many american mothers there's probably nothing more pathetic and unsettling than the sight of a theater full of unsupervised little eight year olds laughing raucously as movie character father adam sandler jokes about a woman's "" ice cold tits . "" 
"
"-1","certainly no one would rent ed wood's glen or glenda ? 
expecting to see a good movie , but this screwy discourse about transvestitism betrays a level of incompetence that i didn't know was possible . 
in fact , wood's infamous plan 9 from outer space actually seems pretty tame by comparison . 
watching glen or glenda ? 
i found myself occasionally wondering if wood had originally made two or three separate movies and accidentally edited them together ; as a result , it is actually quite entertaining in that it is unintentionally hilarious . 
the movie starts out as what mostly seems like a bad documentary , with endless , repetitive narration about transvestites , how difficult it is for a transvestite to look at his girlfriend's clothes without being able to wear them , how transvestites are not necessarily homosexuals , and how the main character , glen/glenda is ( as it reminds us probably half a dozen times ) "" not half man and half woman , but man and woman at the same time . "" 
the camera work is terrible-occasionally the camera lingers on , say , a closed door while the characters talk off-screen , or inexplicably zooms in on someone's ear or nose . 
wood also makes copious use of mostly irrelevant stock footage , which leads to voiced-over non-sequiturs like , "" yes , our world is a busy and frightening place , with so many people driving their automobiles . "" 
finally , there is occasional commentary from bela lugosi as a sort of omniscient being who seems to inhabit a frankenstein-style laboratory , delivering pointless lines such as , "" people . 
 . 
 . 
all with their own thoughts . 
 . 
 . 
their own ideas . 
 . 
 . 
 . "" 
while lightning crackles quasi-ominously overhead . 
had wood continued in this vein , glen or glenda ? 
probably would have been remembered as nothing more than a poorly done documentary with the occasional inappropriate horror-movie touch . 
unfortunately , he then wanders so far off into left field that you have to wonder if he had been eating some funny mushrooms when he wrote the script . 
 "" pull the string ! 
pull the string ! "" 
announces an alarmed lugosi as stock footage of buffalo appears . 
there is another crash of lightning before lugosi returns , this time warning us , "" beware . 
 . 
 . 
beware the big green dragon that lurks outside your door ! 
 . 
 . 
 . 
it eats little boys . 
 . 
 . 
and puppy dogs' tails . 
 . 
 . 
and big fat snails ! "" 
a bizarre nightmare sequence , which is probably meant to be symbolic but instead is just incredibly stupid , ensues , during which glen/glenda finds his fiance trapped under a fallen tree-in the living room . 
someone who is apparently intended to be the sinister "" green dragon "" ( but looks more like a klingon from the original star trek series ) appears to be orchestrating all this , though the film is far from clear on this point ( to put it kindly ) . 
near the end of this scene-and here i must confess that wood lost me completely-is a violent sexual encounter on a couch that features two characters who do not even appear in the rest of the movie and is scored by goofily upbeat folk music . 
after this scene ends ( not a moment too soon ) , glen or glenda ? 
returns to its documentary style , but at that point any lingering sense that wood had the slightest idea what he was doing is pretty much gone . 
the film wanders to a dumb happy ending that also seems to abandon much of what it was trying to say about transvestitism , but at that point it didn't matter much what happened . 
as soon as the aforementioned sex scene was over , glen or glenda ? 
had pretty much cemented its place in my mind as the most incoherent film i had ever seen . 
i honestly think that if i picked up my camcorder and deliberately tried to make the worst movie i possibly could , it still might not match glen or glenda ? 
for sheer cinematic disaster . 
i am giving this movie an f , but i'm not sure that quite does it justice . 
"
"-1","the second serial-killer thriller of the month is just awful . 
oh , it starts deceptively okay , with a handful of intriguing characters and some solid location work . 
after a baby-sitter gets gutted in the suit- ably spooky someone's-in-the-house prologue , parallel stories unfold , the first involving a texas sheriff ( r . lee emery ) , a gruesome double murder , and the arrival of a morose fbi agent ( dennis quaid ) on the eve of voting for the local lawman's reelection . 
the second pairs a hitch- hiker ( jared leto ) with a friendly former railroad worker ( danny glover ) . 
they're headed west , toward the rockies and away from the murder scene . 
which one is the killer ? 
well , it doesn't really matter , 'cause when writer/first-time director jeb stuart ( die hard ) finally spills the beans , you won't take his choice seriously anyway . 
the whole thing goes south about an hour in , with the tale taking hairpin turns that i certainly couldn't follow . 
and through the whole thing there's quaid , playing with the most intense monotony this side of steven sea- gal . 
i guess i'm glad that i didn't walk out-- there's some nice train stuff at the end and a fun nod to dr . 
strangelove . 
"
"-1","this is my first review that i post to this newsgroup , and i kind of feel like i have to say something negative about this film . 
no one else seems to care that it takes certain liberties that should not be taken with a historical story . 
however , even if one thinks of it as fiction , "" the prince of egypt "" remains shallow . 
but i'll begin from the beginning . 
the biggest difference between the original , biblical story and this version is that moses has some semblance of divinity in the bible , whereas the animated version gives the impression of a reluctant hero . 
maybe it's just me , but if i knew i had god on my side , i'd have a little bit more confidence . 
there are other differences as well , such as a lack of important female characters and the passing over of the original pharoah's death like it's nothing but a thing . 
most of all , though , the story's focus has shifted . 
rather than being a story about father-son , man-ethnicity , man-god , "" the prince of egypt "" is almost solely about the brother-brother relationship between rameses and moses . 
i was originally excited about this story element until i saw the movie , where it came off as maudlin . 
rameses and moses squabble like children and then , in the interests of peace , moses saves rameses' butt , even though moses was the one who started it . . . 
 * yawn * i didn't care anymore by the time moses ran off for murdering an overseer ( which , of course , never happened in the original story - moses was exiled ) . 
but enough about the differences . 
let's talk about the movie itself . 
it features a moses who , in the interests of making the character more human , lacks any divinity whatsoever , which isn't convincing at all to anyone who knows who god is . 
it features a cookie-cutter "" i-wanna-please-dada "" rameses , who at least is given dignity by the voicework of ralph fiennes ( from schindler's list , among other things ) . 
the film also features an extremely annoying character by way of the "" new-improved "" miriam , voiced by the ever-antsy sandra bullock , even though the most irritating thing about her is her tendency to burst into song for no apparent reason ( here bullock is replaced by a singing voice ) . 
speaking of which , it contains * very * annoying music . 
it contains shallow writing . 
it features extraordinary animation , which is one good thing i can say about this film . 
most of all , it contains an attempt to commercialize , homogenize , and mass-market a story about a manifestation of god . 
i am not christian , but i got the impression of blasphemy . 
the writers and producers took a butcher knife and chop-chopped into the story . 
"
"-1","for "" original sin , "" the road to the screen has been rocky . 
initially slated for release last november , the film was bumped twice , finally landing in the dog days of summer 2001 . 
advance screenings of the film were denied to all but a few critics , generally a sign that the studio realizes it has a dud on its hands . 
so is "" original sin "" really all that bad ? 
yes it is , but the melodrama does offer some rewards . 
the location settings are gorgeous and there is a healthy sprinkling of t&a ( with angelina jolie providing the "" t "" and antonio banderas the "" a "" ) . 
more importantly , the movie is entertainingly bad . 
veteran readers know that , as a rule , i don't encourage people to patronize lousy films . 
most of the time , there are plenty of quality offerings on the marketplace that are more deserving of our money and besides , the "" let's go laugh at the failings of others "" mindset reflects an elitism that makes me uncomfortable . 
but things are different this summer . 
quality films , to put it mildly , have been few and far between , so as far as i'm concerned , it's fair to find our kicks where we may . 
 "" original sin "" will never join such treasures as "" valley of the dolls , "" "" road house "" and "" showgirls "" in the bad movie hall of fame , but it'll do until something worse comes along . 
the film , adapted by director michael cristofer from the cornell woolrich novel , "" waltz into darkness "" ( which was also the source for the 1969 francois truffaut film , "" mississippi mermaid "" ) , opens in a turn-of-the-century prison , as jolie's character , slated for a dawn execution , tells her lurid tale to a priest who appears desperately horny . 
the freshman writing class tone is quickly established when she says things like , "" this is not a love story , it is a story about love . "" 
wary of local gold-diggers , cuban coffee dealer luis antonio vargas ( banderas ) makes arrangements to secure a mail order bride from america , listing himself as a mere clerk to dissuade foreign gold-diggers . 
a practical man , luis chooses a frumpy looking lady , hoping she will be a loyal mate able to provide him with children . 
imagine his surprise when his fianc ? e , julia russell ( jolie ) , turns out to be infinitely more attractive than the woman in the photo . 
julia explains that she sent a different woman's image because she didn't want to be selected solely for her pretty face . 
luis then confesses his deception , leading julie to state , with great significance , "" we have something in common , we are both not to trusted . "" 
after their wedding , luis and julia retire for a glorious night of carefully choreographed lovemaking , with their bodies positioned to display her breasts and his bottom as erotically as possible . 
jolie and banderas are attractive people and watching them naked is fun , although the filmmakers' insistence on using one of banderas' legs to cover jolie's crotch makes it look like he's trying to climb her . 
luis , the stupidest man who ever lived , immediately instructs the bank to make his personal and business accounts available to julia , despite the fact that she seems nothing like the woman with whom he corresponded . 
his blissful ignorance continues as the warning signs mount up . 
luis must force julia to write to her sister emily , who is frantic over her lack of communication . 
shortly after julia complains about the chirping of a pet bird , it is found on the floor of its cage with a broken neck . 
finally , when she cleans out his accounts and disappears , luis begins to suspect that something might be wrong . 
incidentally , if you're afraid i'm giving too much away , rest assured that all of this happens in the first 30 minutes of the movie , leaving plenty of time for numerous dopey plot twists , a great deal of operatic acting and more footage of her tits and his ass . 
along the way , private detective walter downs ( played by thomas jane , who was terrific as mickey mantle in the hbo movie "" 61 * "" ) turns up , hired by the frumpy woman's sister to find out what happened to the real julia . 
luis is also eager for the detective to track down the con artist , having decided that if he can't have her , he will kill her . 
oh , the pathos of it all . 
the cast appears to recognize the trashiness of the story , adjusting their performances accordingly . 
banderas is suitably impassioned , while jolie alternates between vamping and pouting ( and with those lips , she can really pout ) . 
as for thomas jane , he starts off acting suspicious and cagey , then accelerates to a snidely whiplash level of nastiness . 
his most startling moment comes when , to prove his power to humiliate , he forces luis against a wall , verbally taunts him while rubbing his cheeks against those of luis and then finishes establishing his dominance with a full-on kiss . 
if anyone ever questions the difference between sex and rape , show them this chilling scene . 
and if anyone ever questions the difference between real drama and a laughable potboiler , show them "" original sin . "" 
"
"-1","one would think that david duchovny , star of the cult favorite "" x-files "" would be very careful in choosing his leading man cinema roles . 
at least one would hope so . 
one would be seriously incorrect . 
eugene sands ( duchovny ) is a surgeon so dedicated to his craft that he becomes addicted to amphetamines to stay awake and work more . 
it turns out to be a bad plan when he loses a patient and his license while under the influence . 
ten months later , in a seedy bar to score synthetic heroin , the doctor gets a chance to ply his trade when assassins gun down a customer . 
using a plastic water bottle and bar tubing , sands operates and saves his life . 
smalltime hoodlum raymond blossom ( timothy hutton ) is impressed with the cutlery skills on his associate . 
he kidnaps and then offers down-and-out eugene a position in his organization . 
blossom needs a doctor to patch up gunshot victims that would be problematic at a hospital . 
sand's temptation is that this will give him a chance to practice medicine again albeit illegally , big chunks of cash to fuel his habit and close proximity to the gangster's womanfriend claire ( angelina jolie ) , this film's babe factor . 
the would-be big time operator is desperately in need of help . 
on the run from russian mobsters ( the bad guys that seem to be all the rage in this year's films ) and trying to cut a pirate software deal with the chinese mafia , blossom is surrounded by blood . 
after a few medical misadventures , the physician grows disenchanted with his employment . 
an encounter with a couple of psycho surfer dudes who threaten to blow him away unless he "" fixes "" their dead buddy cements his feeling that he is in the wrong line of work . 
when the fbi visits and forces him to become an informant , there is no question that he needs to be somewhere else . 
oddly enough , these seem like they could be exciting scenes . 
the film disproves that assumption . 
then a bunch of other uninteresting things happen . 
writing this only two days after seeing the film , its a struggle to remember the events . 
you can take that as a solid lack of recommendation . 
for all the coolness that duchovny exhibits in "" x-files "" , it's a surprise that his big screen presence is so lacking in charisma . 
the doctor is particularly bland and dull . 
even the cold turkey bit which is rife with dramatic possibilities come across as banal . 
a little chocolate and minor sweats get him through heroin withdrawal . 
like virtually everything else in the film , it's a missed opportunity . 
the fox mulder detachment doesn't work here . 
oscar-winner hutton's manic mobster is much more difficult to get a handle on . 
played partially for comedy and partially as crazed killer , blossom almost becomes real , but then sinks into goofiness . 
most of the time hutton looks as if he's searching for his character and coming up empty . 
jolie also makes a few false moves towards creating a three-dimensional human being before giving up and turning into scenery . 
the most interesting aspect of her performance is watching her pouty lips threaten to take over the screen . 
the rest aren't any better . 
michael massee's eccentric fbi agent never revs up . 
one of blossom's henchmen steals a few moments of the show as a quirky gunman reminiscent of val kilmer's doc holliday in "" tombstone "" . 
his two-gunned blasting as he does a bizarre dance is the high point of the film . 
but that 15 seconds isn't worth sitting through the other 90 minutes . 
first time film director andy wilson ( known for his work on the british television series "" cracker "" ) appears to be attempting to jump on the "" pulp fiction "" bandwagon . 
the best of these movies combine a sense of style and flash with significant substance . 
the second-rate ones concentrate on just one of these aspects . 
 "" playing god "" does neither well . 
the basic idea of the film is solid . 
and then it goes nowhere . 
even worse , it plods back and forth , up and down a long and winding road before it ends up nowhere . 
fox fails yet again in his search for intelligent life . 
"
"-1"," "" i would appreciate it if you didn't do that again . "" 
starring jet li , bridget fonda , tch ? ky karyo , burt kwouk . 
directed by chris nahon . 
rated r . 
it's no secret that martial arts film often use their plot simply to get from one action sequence to another . 
when the fight scenes are enough to justify paying admission , there is no problem with this , as in most jackie chan projects and a lot of the hong kong actioners . 
when they aren't , well , we're in bad shape . 
kiss of the dragon , jet li's second consecutive american misfire , plays like one big miscalculation , and fails even as the most rudimentary entertainment . 
now before i start getting e-mails angrily touting the genius of jet li , let me explain myself . 
li is as spectacular as ever here , and i don't think anyone would ever dare call his martial-arts-star skills into question . 
the problem isn't with him , it's with the movie's tone . 
the much touted fight-scenes here are filmed with such unflinching , unrelenting brutality that they are unpleasant to watch . 
they're joyless , perfuctory ; li's rogue chinese detective is more of a killing machine than a hero , a terminator with a black belt instead of a metal skeleton . 
but even the terminator in judgement day had a sympathetic side . 
the plot isn't relevant , but if you're curious , it's some nonsense about a chinese law enforcement officer ( li ) sent to paris to investigate a possible drug ring and encounter a corrupt chief of police ( tcheky karyo ) , who kills people and does sinister things with no motivation whatsoever . 
oh yeah , and li's character is also an acupuncture expert who is able to ease pain and/or kill at the touch of a needle . 
 "" kiss of the dragon "" is the name of an acupuncture maneuver , in which you stick a needle in a precise location on the back of the victim's neck , somehow redirecting all of the body's bloodflow to the brain and killing the poor sap more or less immediately . 
there's a vague attempt to humanize li by having him fall in love with a downtrodden prostitute , whose daughter is being held hostage , for some reason , by the villain . 
this is one of the worst love stories i have ever seen on screen , even worse than the one in pearl harbor . 
there's no conviction whatsoever as the movie barely pays lip service to it ; it's only here because someone apparently thought there should be some kind of boy-meets-girl subplot . 
kiss of the dragon was written by luc besson , whose screenplay the messenger : the story of joan of arc , for all of that film's flaws , was at least thoughtful . 
i don't know why the guy got himself involved in this train wreck , but perhaps he wanted to so something more mainstream after the neverending weirdness of the fifth element and the aforementioned stylized biopic . 
i suppose you could call this mainstream , but i'll choose the bizarre any time of the day . 
if action scenes in a movie are going to be brutal instead of dazzling , you need a story to justify watching them . 
the filmmakers behind kiss of the dragon should have rethought their strategy . 
no one will walk out of this misbegotten project smiling , but i hear rush hour 2 is coming in just a few weeks . 
"
"-1","the rich legacy of cinema has left us with certain indelible images . 
the tinkling christmas tree bell in "" it's a wonderful life . "" 
bogie's speech at the airport in "" casablanca . "" 
little elliott's flying bicycle , silhouetted by the moon in "" e . t . "" 
and now , "" starship troopers "" director paul verhoeven adds one more image that will live in our memories forever : doogie houser doing a vulcan mind meld with a giant slug . 
 "" starship troopers , "" loosely based on the robert heinlein novel , is the story of an interstellar war between humans and giant insects . 
in the hands of verhoeven , the mammoth sci-fi battle flick is one of the most astonishingly bad films ever made , a monument to inept filmmaking on a colossal scale . 
to put it simply , it's a bug bomb . 
in "" robocop "" and "" total recall , "" verhoeven displayed a gift for creating an entertaining mix of violence , special effects and social satire , and "" starship troopers "" starts off in similar fashion , with a tongue-in-cheek futuristic military recruitment ad that shows promise . 
things go downhill fast , though , as we meet our heroes , a group of buenos aires teens preparing to graduate from high school . 
inexplicably , johnny rico , carmen ibenez , dizzy flores and xander barcalow are played by square-jawed anglo kids who look like they just stepped out of a mountain dew commercial . 
it's a veritable "" alpha centuri 90210 "" as we watch the love-smitten teens squabble in the name of love . 
michael ironside plays their teacher , who waves around a cheesy fake severed arm while lecturing about civic responsibilities . 
eventually , the kids join the military , with dreams of glory in their addled little minds . 
one of their classmates , carl jenkins ( "" doogie houser's "" neil patrick harris , ) snags a job in military intelligence because of his strong psychic abilities . 
he displays his gift by psychically ordering a pet ferret to crawl up his mother's leg . 
a long , dull boot camp sequence follows , enlivened only by an extended coed shower scene where the recruits swap snappy banter as the "" showgirls "" director's camera roams over their buff bodies . 
finally , a full hour into the film , the war finally starts and we meet the enemy . 
the bugs hail from klendathu and colonize planets by hurling their spores into space . 
they attack starships by spinning around and firing deadly plasma blasts from their rears . 
yes , incredible as it seems , the bugs actually kill with cosmic farts . 
a phenomenally large amount of money was spent creating the computer animated insects and the results are mixed at best . 
sweeping distant shots depicting hordes of giant bugs racing to attack are both impressive and scary , but the close-ups are a different matter . 
the insects have an odd , artificial look , like origami creations with a mottled plastic coating . 
the attack scenes are intensely violent , as one would expect from verhoeven , but the overall look is too phony to generate any real tension . 
while the action is frantic , the military strategy , wildly illogical even by hollywood standards , grows tiresome quickly . 
verhoeven tries to spice things up by throwing in more satiric news coverage , but the faux-jingoistic scenes of children "" doing their part for the war effort "" by squishing roaches on a sidewalk aren't enough to make up for the long stretches of sheer dreck . 
one can only guess what paul verhoeven was trying to do here . 
his customary one part satire , two parts ultra-violence formula is way out of whack , and most of the film just flounders . 
in "" showgirls "" fashion , some scenes are almost bad enough to be good . 
an intergalactic kegger party , with jake busey playing "" dixie "" on a green plexiglas fiddle , has a certain bizarre appeal . 
a sex scene between two of the teens achieves a smarmy charm , enhanced a few minutes later when the female receives a fatal jab from a bug , but tells her hero that she doesn't mind dying . 
 "" it's okay , "" she gasps , "" i got to have you ! "" 
and then , of course , there's doogie's mind meld with a bug . 
it's possible that verhoeven was attempting to create an homage to the era of the original novel . 
heinlein's pre- "" stranger in a strange land "" books were aimed at adolescent males , and "" starship troopers "" has the antiseptic retro-future look of late 50s/early 60s sci-fi . 
the one cityscape shown is a jetsons-like gleaming metropolis , with flying cars whizzing past an obvious matte painting . 
the hairstyles are retro too , straight from the frankie avalon , annette funicello school of fashion . 
ultimately , verhoeven's motives are irrelevant . 
he has produce a gargantuan film that fails as an action film or as a social satire . 
it even fails to be an entertaining bad movie . 
avoid "" starship troopers "" at all costs . 
"
"-1","tim robbins and martin lawernce team up in this road movie comedy . 
robbins plays an exec who discovers his wife having sex with his boss . 
he goes into depression , and drives around his neighbourhood until he arrives inside the usual 'ghetto' side of every american city . 
there , lawernce attempts to steal his car , but to no avail , and is dragged along with robbin's on a trip to arizona . 
there , they hold up a store , are mistaken for two other robbers ( just like in my cousin vinny ) and are chased by the police , and the other robbers . 
of course , there's gags along the way , usually from lawernce . 
although the film is midly funny , and quite watchable , there's something so horribly familiar about it all . 
this film should really be called beverly hills midnight run there's lawernce with his wisecracking and heavy profanity , just like eddie murphy in beverly hills cop , and pratically the same idea as midnight run . 
it's full of all the road movie cliches , and even has a 'comedy' car chase , which just seemed so eighties . 
even the credit sequence seemed to be out of a steve martin , or chevy chase , eighties comedy . 
there also isn't much chemistry between robbins and lawernce . 
in planes , trains and automobiles , there was real chemistry between steve martin and john candy . 
in nothing to lose , there is hardly chemistry at all . 
towards the end the chemistry seems to work , but for the bulk of the film , there is hardly any , 
the director directs the film in a workman like fashion , but gets the jokes across . 
and although there is no chemistry between the two leads , they give good performances on their own . 
lawerence gives a good eddie murphy performance , and robbin's is alright aswell . 
however , robbin's performance is nowhere near as good as the characters he played in jacob's ladder , and the player . 
in fact , if you want to see robbin's do comedy much better than in nothing to lose , i suggest you rent out the hudsucker proxy , where he is much funnier . 
nothing to lose does have some funny moments in it , however . 
the humour isn't particulary sophisticated , but if you enojyed dumb & dumber , you might enjoy this . 
the characters in arizona are funny , and there's also a good scene where robbin's asks a shopkeeper which 'threatening approach' was better , lawerences ( which consisted of lawerence threatening to shoot the shopkeeper's ass , and swearing a lot ) , or himselfs , ( which was speaking in a deep , scary voice ) but the gags are predictable , the lack of chemistry infurating , and the ending too far-fetched and 'perfect' 
nothing to lose then , is robbin's first 'bad' movie ( and hopefully his last ) , and suggests that odereick should twice before making another film . 
he nearly ruined carrey's career with ace ventura : when nature calls , let's hope he hasn't ruined robbin's ( or even lawerence's ) with nothing to lose . 
"
"-1","capsule : not as bad a sequel as crow 2 or batman & robin , but still horribly putrid , cheesy and ill-conceived . 
this one belongs in saturday morning cartoons . . . 
extended review : you know , about halfway through this movie , i realized that if you hacked out everything except the fight scenes , you'd have a damn fine 35 minutes or so of flashy , hong kong style martial arts . 
beautifully choreographed by robin shou , who also plays liu kang , the fight scenes are both mind-blowing and graceful , acrobatic enough to make olympic gymnasts weep . 
this is what made the original so fun , but unfortunately for the sequel , we are without the frenetic directorial style of paul anderson . 
instead , they got john r . leonetti , the cinematographer for the original mortal kombat . 
not a good choice . 
while the fight scenes are brutal and eye-popping , the rest of the movie looks like standard made for tv fare . 
the acting is sub-par , which i could endure if it were not for a . ) the director's style , b . ) the special effects , & c . ) the treatment of the story and characters . 
a . ) mr . leonetti should go back to lighting , in my opinion . 
i could say dozens of bad things about him : he way overuses slow-motion , he has no eye for action , he can't get even mediocre performances out of actors , and so on . 
but by far his worst move was the way he treated jumping . 
apparantly , everybody can now fly . 
hell , i'm all for the occaisional gravity defying flip kick and whatnot , but not when it happens every few minutes , and is done so poorly . 
better jumping and acrobatics has been seen in xena : warrior princess . 
in short , they should have gotten paul anderson back . 
or at least let robin shou direct . . . 
b . ) unlike the first one , whose sfx were vibrant and somewhat realistic , mk : a's special effects are bland , fake looking , and overall just plain bad . 
i counted at least half a dozen times that blue-screening was painfully obvious . 
had this movie been made in the 80's , it would have been ground-breaking . 
but in today's industry , it doesn't even look finished . 
c . ) now for the _really_ bad parts . 
i admit , i'm an avid fan of the mortal kombat series . 
the games are amusing diversions , an easy way to work off stress and anger . 
the first movie was a mindlessly fun thrillride . 
this could have been a really cool movie . 
it isn't . 
the writers apparantly deemed it necessary to lower the target audience from teens to preschoolers . 
some of the plot elements are just plain stupid . 
how stupid ? 
take , for instance , how our heroes move around . 
they use giants spheres the roll around underground , supposedly at thousands of miles per hour . . . oh 
boy . . . 
even worse is the treatment of secondary characters . 
blink and you'll miss 'em . 
most characters had more depth in the video games . 
if you thought batman & robin was bad about this , you ain't seen nothin' yet . 
a good 75% of the characters are introduced , kick somebody around a bit , then either die or are forgotten about . 
there's no explanation at all for this . 
and for the final blasphemy , the fight that all the fans were waiting rabidly for , the fight hyped to be the most intricate of the movie , lasted about 3 minutes and then just sort of . . . ended . 
it almost made me weep . 
to sum it all up , rent it on video , and fast-forward through everything except the fight scenes . 
"
"-1","in "" the astronaut's wife , "" charlize theron plays a young woman with a nervous demeanor , pixie-hairdo and demon spawn unwittingly growing in her belly . 
if only her name wasn't jillian , the makers of this embarrassing bit of sci-fi shlock could have come up with a far more appropriate title : "" rosemary's species . "" 
what a shame it is to see such a gifted actress as theron - oscar-worthy in "" the devil's advocate "" - struggle with the lamest rip-off of a screendom classic in recent memory . 
ok , maybe "" the astronaut's wife "" deviates from "" rosemary's baby "" turf for its set-up , which finds our heroine terrorized not by satan's minions but her possessed husband ( johnny depp ) , a shuttle pilot whose mission mishap leaves him , um , a changed man . 
predictably , he and the missus get it on in a sequence best described as unpleasant , his evil seed impregnating her with twins and realizing that great "" bowfinger "" line about "" alien love . "" 
theron's "" advocate "" character faced a similar dilemma , the horror there resonating strongly . 
 "" astronaut "" provides only artificial anxiety . 
last year's equally noodle-headed "" species ii "" spun a similar premise about the breeding habits of an extraterrestrial on earth , but at least that movie more or less knew it was garbage . 
 "" the astronaut's wife "" is grave and humor-free , passing its increasingly silly story off as full-fledged serious , right down to an ambiguous finale that isn't even going to satisfy those who've stayed with it thus far . 
here's a hint : it involves lots of water , electrical equipment , a special effect from "" the abyss "" and the tots who doubled up as adam sandler's co-star in "" big daddy . "" 
draw your own conclusions . 
director/writer rand ravich coats the proceedings in dynamic sights masterminded by legendary "" e . t . "" 
cinematographer allen daviau , but too often favors the film's visual presentation over the story he's trying to tell . 
this bodes horribly for each dramatic development , like the surfacing of a suspicious nasa official ( "" speed "" 's joe morton ) to instigate jill's slow and stupid comprehension of the truth . 
his hyper-erratic behavior is probably supposed to give wife a paranoid edge . 
instead , he adds to the phoniness . 
theron and depp are certainly beyond this junk and will get other chances to prove themselves this fall - she as part of an imposing ensemble case in the john irving adaptation "" cider house rules , "" he in the lead of tim burton's eagerly-awaited "" sleepy hollow . "" 
undeserving of such talent , "" the astronaut's wife "" manages to be derivative , dull and uninvolving despite its seemingly ripe potential for unintentional laughs . 
in space , no one can hear you scream . 
but in a movie theatre , everyone can hear you snore . 
"
"-1","for a good ten years or so , super cool chow yun fat has enjoyed god hood status in the hong kong action scene . 
now , he has followed in the footsteps of director john woo , ( who launched chow's super stardom in the acclaimed 'a better tomorrow' ) by moving to hollywood . 
i had some reservations about this move and it would seem i was right to have them . 
chow plays a hitman who is doing jobs in order to repay a debt . 
his final job requires him to kill a policeman's seven year old boy . 
this he refuses do and runs . 
however , he is forced into a violent confrontation when his family are threatned and replacement killers are brought in to do the job . 
cue around 80 minutes of various and quite frankly tedious shoot- outs which take place in various locations . 
some thought had gone into making them a bit different but unfortunately they end up being just plain boring . 
the car wash scene , i found myself laughing at how stupid it looked . 
tut tut . 
the emphasis during the constant action seemed to be on the accompanying music , ( i could have sworn one piece was ripped out of a bruckheimer movie ) and not on the content . 
mia sorvino ( a passport forger ) is dragged into the affay and also provides a lame love interest as well as being rather handy with a gun . 
director antoine arqua has clearly not observed chow's excellent acting capabilties and simply requires him to mutter a few lines of broken english and look flash as he stands and shoots . 
chow's trademark of twin pistol shooting is saved for the finale ( which in fairness is quite good ) and there's not even a toothpick in site . 
and as for making chow shoot like a cop , well that's damned unforgiveable . 
to round up , the replacement killers is a pretty darned lame first outing for chow . 
it would appear he has left asia for a 90 minute pop video . 
this is not what we wanted at all , considering john woo was the exec producer . 
 ( did he have no say so at all ? ) 
watch 'the killer' again and weep at the difference . 
review by chris hill . 
 "" there's room at the top , they are telling you still , but first you must learn how to smile as you kill , if you want to be like the folks on the hill . "" 
"
"-1","libby parsons ( ashley judd ) has the perfect little life -- a rich husband , a cute son , and a house on the ocean -- but when her husband nick ( bruce greenwood ) takes her sailing , she awakes to find him gone and her hands covered with blood . 
just as she makes it to the deck and picks up the bloody knife lying there , the coast guard arrives in response to a distress call her vanished husband sent . 
she's convicted of his murder , of course , and leaves her son matty ( benjamin weir ) with her best friend ( annabeth gish ) . 
time passes , and the friend disappears with matty . 
during their last phone conversation libby hears matty yell "" daddy ! "" 
and realizes that her husband is still alive . 
libby serves six years , growing harder and driven by the desire to kill nick ( based on the theory that because of the "" double jeopardy "" amendment she can off him with impunity ) . 
when she gets parole , she's sent to a halfway house run by travis lehman ( tommy lee jones ) , a former law professor who ruined his life with a drunk driving accident . 
after a little breaking and entering and some destruction of property , libby jumps parole and lams it across the country looking for nick and matty . 
travis pursues , naturally . 
 "" double jeopardy "" is a watered-down version of "" the fugitive , "" with jones sleep-walking through his well-worn pursuer persona . 
although libby never leaps from a bus that collides with a train , she manages to get into a few nail-biters -- chased down the beach by a jeep , chained to a car that plunges into the ocean , sealed in a coffin -- that add some much needed thrills to an anemic , slow-moving script . 
character development is thin . 
travis' intriguing backstory is mentioned a couple times but has no effect on the story . 
 ( i think they only made him a former law professor so that he could verify the double-jeopardy theory when libby gets the drop on nick . 
it's a long way to go for one line ) . 
there's considerable sexual tension between travis and libby ( hey , there's something "" the fugitive "" didn't have ! ) , but it never goes anywhere . 
libby is a tv-movie everywoman , but judd's intense performance draws us in and makes us forget that her character has no distinguishing characteristics . 
this is judd's most prominent role to date , and she proves that she can light up the screen . 
let's hope hollywood gives her more to work with next time around . 
the quality of director bruce beresford's movies seems to depend on luck . 
when he has a good script and a strong cast , he turns out oscar-caliber work like "" 'breaker' morant , "" "" driving miss daisy , "" and "" tender mercies . "" 
when he doesn't . 
 . 
 . 
we get "" double jeopardy . "" 
screenwriters david weisberg and douglas cook previously collaborated on "" the rock , "" a script which probably benefited from the numerous uncredited rewrites . 
bottom line : ashley judd tries hard but can't save this predictable bore . 
"
"-1","as far as "" mystery men "" is concerned , the burning question is less "" is it really as bad as it looks from the trailer ? "" 
 ( the answer there is an unequivocal "" yes "" ) and more "" how in the name of sweet jesus did first-time director kinka usher get such a first-rate cast to act in this muck ? "" 
 "" mystery men "" features greg kinnear as the heavily-sponsored captain amazing and geoffrey rush as his arch nemesis ( singular ) casanova frankenstein . 
a veritable police lineup of hot hollywood talent plays the superhero wannabes of the title , who join forces to get c . amazing out of a tight spot when c . frankenstein puts the screws on champion city . 
there's william h . macy as the mild-mannered shoveler , hank azaria as the cutlery-flinging blue raja ( no knives , but a phony english accent that's just as sharp ) , ben stiller as mr . furious ( whose only power seems to be his ability to get hot under the collar ) , janeane garofalo as a crazed bowler with her father's skull interestingly preserved , wes studi as a rhetoric-spouting cowled avenger , and kel mitchell as the token ( and , adding insult to injury , invisible ! ) 
black guy . 
bringing up the rear , so to speak , is paul reubens ( yes , that's pee wee herman paul reubens ) as . . . 
well , let's just call him the gas man . 
the production design is overblown , the special effects are overdone , and the script ( based on bob burden's "" dark horse "" comic book series ) is overbaked . 
the appealing actors are uniformly good and stiller is even stellar , but they can't begin to save "" mystery men "" --it's just one big mess . 
you're better off renting the video and pressing fast-forward to get to the funny bits . 
i believe i counted three . 
"
"-1","the swirling sick feeling hit me just a few minutes into "" heartbreakers . "" 
ray liotta's character was making out with his secretary when his new wife knocked on the door of his office . 
while scrambling to collect himself , he frantically shouted to her , "" just wait a sex ? er , i mean sec ! "" 
i was struck by a wave of revulsion , thinking , "" geez , didn't lines like that die when 'three's company' was canceled ? "" 
over the next few minutes , as the barely double entendres and lingering cleavage shots grew more numerous , i realized that the mindset behind "" heartbreakers "" predated "" three's company . "" 
suddenly , i had an out-of-body experience as my internal way-back machine swept me to the mid-1960s . 
all across america , the counter-culture was growing like wildfire , but there was scant evidence of it on tv . 
while young people were challenging traditional values on the streets , frustrated teenagers like me were stuck at home , sulking while our parents enjoyed the latest bob hope special . 
women in skimpy bathing suits would prance onscreen while hope made growling noises and leered at their breasts . 
on another channel , dean martin made wisecracks about "" booze and broads "" and peter lawford , decked out in love beads and a nehru jacket , purred suggestive one-liners as he ogled the go-go dancers . 
the adults laughed and laughed . 
 "" heartbreakers "" reeks of that stagnant mentality , from its lingering shots of jennifer love hewitt's vah-vah-voom breasts to its leaden screenplay , which paints women as haughty schemers and men as drooling buffoons too sex-obsessed to realize they are being manipulated . 
in addition to liotta and hewitt , the cast includes sigourney weaver , gene hackman , jason lee , nora dunn and anne bancroft . 
i can't imagine what drew performers of their caliber to this project . 
perhaps they thought it was a parody of the sniggering sex comedies of the '60s . 
if so , they were sadly mistaken . 
the story revolves around a mother-daughter con-team . 
it opens with the marriage of max ( weaver ) to dean ( liotta ) , a new jersey chop shop operator . 
having withheld sex until the honeymoon , max pretends to pass out on their wedding night . 
the next morning , she feigns illness , sending a very horny dean off to the office , where he ends up in the arms of his new secretary . 
just as the two are about to get overtly physical , max bursts into the room and catches them . 
the "" horrified "" bride dissolves the union , garnering a healthy cash settlement along the way . 
of course , the secretary was really her daughter page ( hewitt ) and the whole thing was a set-up . 
the women move on , but an irs agent ( bancroft ) catches up with them and demands a huge amount of money to cover unpaid taxes . 
in desperate need of funds , max and page head for palm beach to replay the scam . 
their mark this time is william b . tensy ( hackman , in hideous make-up ) , a decrepit tobacco tycoon obsessed with the joys of smoking . 
max starts to put the game into action , but page is so repelled by the old man ( and angry with her mom ) that she slips off to enact her own score , targeting jack , a laid back young beach bar owner who is worth a fortune . 
complications arise when page realizes that good-natured jack is stirring actual emotions in her steely little heart . 
as if that wasn't enough , dean reappears on the scene with revenge on his mind . 
the attempt to weld a romance onto a caper comedy served only to remind me of the infinitely superior "" a fish called wanda . "" 
i won't bother to compare the two . 
suffice to say that everything done right in "" wanda "" is done wrong here . 
 "" heartbreakers "" is soulless , inept and , at 123 minutes , at least a half-hour too long . 
sigourney weaver and jennifer love hewitt throw themselves into their parts , but have nowhere to go with the metallic characters . 
gene hackman is utterly wasted in a one-note , one-joke part that has him doing nothing but smoking , coughing and waxing rhapsodic about smoking and sex . 
poor jason lee is stuck in the ingenue role and the normally charismatic actor comes off as merely bland . 
ray liotta manages to squeeze a tiny bit of humanity and humor into his walking clich ? , but only a bit . 
the low point in the film has weaver employing a russian accent bad enough to make boris and natasha wince , while doing half-assed slapstick with a broken off penis from a statue . 
bear in mind , though , that this is merely the worst segment of a movie made up of nothing but low points . 
if you remember bob hope specials with fondness , this might be your cup of tea . 
as for me , i'm going to watch "" a fish called wanda "" now and try to forget i ever saw "" heartbreakers . "" 
"
"-1"," "" american pie "" alums jason biggs and mena suvari star in this summer's attempt to capitalize on the youth market looking for a comedy about young people they can relate to that combines generic hollywood cute couple-ness and zany comedy . 
it's about an a+ student ( biggs as "" paul "" ) who gets a scholarship to some college in new york city who sticks out like a sore thumb and falls for dora ( suvari ) a ditzy heroin-chic goth chick who has no ambition or self-respect whatsoever and allows herself to be pushed around just like "" hick-boy "" paul is . 
so we've got a fish-out-water formula mixed with meet-cute romantic comedy which ideally should make for a good movie . 
unfortunately the atrocious screenplay and boring direction by "" clueless "" auteur amy heckerling successfully manages to screw up everything about the film . 
these characters are totally unrealistic and unbelievable - it's as if everyone under age 30 is a stoned raver . 
there's no background or details to anyone or anything , it's just a bunch of cartoon characters running into each other . 
not to mention the story itself which is virtually non-existant and contains so many plotholes it's like swiss cheese . 
even the basic editing is bad . 
if you're looking for a romantic comedy stay far away from this one because it is neither romantic nor funny . 
i saw this in a packed cinema on opening night and the audience barely laughed at all . 
if you've seen the commericials you've seen all the "" funny "" parts ( which are all from the first five minutes ) . 
"
"-1","last summer , a feature-length version of the avengers hit theaters to the tune of a unanimous critical panning . 
based on the famous 60's television show , the film was an enormous box-office flop and a huge disappointment for warner bros . a year later , the studio is up to their old tricks again , with the unnecessary revival of the robert conrad program the wild , wild west . 
but it sounded promising : the same tag-team of star will smith and director barry sonnenfeld , who both contributed to make men in black such a financial success , is at the reins again . 
and co-star kevin kline is attached to the project , as well as a substantial budget to spice up the special effects . 
i mean , what could possibly go wrong ? 
the answer is just about everything . 
wild wild west is a cinematic abomination - a film that was so entirely pointless to begin with that it is never given a proper chance to get out of the gate . 
there are a lot of fancy special effects , and a handful of distinguished actors who try desperately to tunnel through the inane plot and make a lasting impression . 
but the script is so deliriously uneven , the entire movie so off course , that no human being or technical achievement has a chance to salvage it . 
at square one , we have a bizarre case of casting . 
will smith plays james west , a renegade cowboy who was originally played by white actor robert conrad in the tv series . 
my guess regarding the casting of african-american smith is a simple one : the actor + a cozy summertime release = big bucks for all those involved . 
smith is a very talented performer who usually brings swift assurance to any comic relief material , but this is not an ideal role for him . 
he's too much of a joker . 
i heard that initial casting included george clooney in the lead role , and frankly , that sounds a lot more plausible . 
what makes matters worse is that smith goes through the role with such self-assurance in his eyes ; you can practically sense his contentment with the fact that he knows wild wild west will be a huge hit at the summer box office . 
the plot involves west and cross-dressing government agent artemus gordon ( kevin kline ) , who are assigned by the president to recover a group of kidnapped scientists . 
the trail leads to the diabolical dr . arliss loveless ( kenneth branagh ) , a man with no lower body who speaks in a dry , witty southern accent . 
loveless has taken the country's top technical minds hostage so that they can assist in his deranged plan of total government control , using lethal superweapons to destroy entire towns . 
one such weapon is an 80-foot mechanical tarantula , bearing eight spindly legs of thrashing metal and spewing enormous fireballs left and right . 
the visual effects that bring this metallic bug to life are spectacular , seamlessly blending computer-generated imagery with the western surroundings . 
unfortunately , all of these effects seem so detached from the story , and can do little to support the film's plot deficiencies , which are undoubtedly the main problem . 
wild wild west is a running gag that never truly works . 
most of the jokes , usually care of smith , die on arrival . 
if it's one thing that could possibly be the saving grace , it's the performances , and even they are mostly off-kilter and poorly delivered . 
kline is admirable , but he has little to do but invent silly devices on the spot . 
salma hayek is wasted as the romantic interest , because she is viewed as little more than that - window dressing to look pretty and create conflict between west and gordon . 
branagh , an esteemed shakespearean actor and director , adds marginal enjoyment to the film . 
but even he is so utterly weird and over-the-top . 
rarely is a film so lost in itself as wild wild west is . 
i suppose there's always one turkey of the summer season ; a highly anticipated , big-budget release that manages to completely disappoint . 
wild wild west is such a movie , and will probably go down as one of the biggest disappointments of 1999 . 
but it is highly unlikely that this will go down in defeat at the box office . 
perhaps after this , audiences will be less assured when they see will smith's name stamped on a summer movie . 
after such hits as independence day and mib , wild wild west is not an impressive addition to the resume . 
"
"-1","at the outset of swordfish , john travolta's gabriel shear is pontificating about the status of american cinema today . 
basically , he says , it boils down to a lack of imagination among the majority of writers . 
how ironic , as travolta seems to be describing his latest venture . 
swordfish is loud , violent and amoral . 
it has the audacity to justify murder and mayhem in the name of sustaining our way of life . 
and how does travolta's gabriel plan to do this ? 
by robbing billions from his own government and using the funds to out-terrorize terrorists . 
swordfish is a very cynical movie . 
it relies on an audience's perception of our leaders as ineffectual and duplicitous and on terrorists as non-human , faceless entities not worthy of compassion or consideration . 
the movie's plot is preposterous with enough illogical leaps that if the film ever slowed down , you'd actually see how ridiculous it all is . 
this is a live-action road runner cartoon , moving so quickly that it's over before you can catch your breath to ask any reasonable questions . 
the storyline revolves around super hacker stanley jobson ( hugh jackman ) , recruited by gabriel to crack the government's computer codes so gabriel can gather billions for his anti-terrorist campaign . 
talk about whacked-out patriotism . 
my objections to swordfish are many . 
the body count is high , but that is expected in a movie of this sort . 
it's becoming a bore watching anonymous soldiers , police officers and government agents blown to bits . 
another example is the family dynamics between stanley , his 10-year-old daughter and his ex-wife . 
stanley , though having served time in prison for hacking , is shown as a loving and caring father , forbidden by his ex to see his little girl . 
audience animosity is immediately created for his former spouse by showing her as a drinker and smoker who also sometimes stars in her new husband's adult films . 
thus when she is found murdered late in the movie , neither stanley nor his daughter are allowed any time to grieve . 
in fact , subconsciously , many in the audience are probably glad she was killed . 
then there is the sequence involving one of gabriel's henchman holding a gun to the head of stanley's daughter to coerce the hacker to download the key computer program for gabriel . 
children as pawns have become a most unwelcome clich ? in recent films . 
there is enough violence in the real world involving children without having to make them on-screen victims as well . 
yea , it's only make believe , but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate it . 
travolta is cool , deadly charming and flamboyant as the near-crazy gabriel . 
his character is reminiscent of his villainous characterizations in broken arrow and face/off . 
jackman looks dour through most of the proceedings . 
his only moment of any depth comes when he finally is able to create the worm to get inside the government database . 
his sense of joy and accomplishment is one any computer whiz can appreciate . 
halle berry is decorative and lovely as gabriel's assistant , while don cheadle is given little to do as the head fbi agent hunting gabriel . 
swordfish plays like a comic book with a larger-than-life character in gabriel . 
viewers align themselves with him despite their uncertainty if he is hero or villain . 
and maybe that is the movie's underlying flaw : there is no real hero to speak of , only those doing their upmost to survive . 
and that is not enough . 
this is one swordfish that should have been thrown back in the water . 
"
"-1","it's probably inevitable that the popular virtual reality genre ( "" the matrix , "" "" existenz "" ) would collide with the even more popular serial-killer genre ( "" kiss the girls , "" "" se7en "" ) . 
the result should have been more interesting than "" the cell . "" 
as the movie opens , therapist catharine deane ( jennifer lopez ) treats a catatonic boy ( colton james ) by entering his mind through some sort of virtual reality technique that's never fully explained . 
after months of therapy sessions in a surreal desert , catharine has no success to report . 
meanwhile , killer carl stargher ( vincent d'onofrio ) has claimed another victim . 
his particular hobby is to kidnap young women , keep them in a glass cell overnight , and drown them . 
he takes the corpse and soaks it in bleach , then suspends himself over the body and jerks off while watching a video tape of the drowning . 
although carl's been doing this for awhile , he's recently become sloppy , and fbi agent peter novak ( vince vaughn ) is closing in fast . 
not fast enough , though , to keep carl from sticking another woman ( tara subkoff ) in the cell or to catch him before he suffers a schizophrenic attack that leaves him in a coma . 
from the videos in carl's house , peter can see that the drowning cell is automated and will fill with water forty hours after the abduction . 
to save the kidnapped girl , peter has to find the cell before the end of the day , and comatose carl's not talking . 
so off they go to catharine in the hope that she can go inside carl's mind and find out where the cell is in time . 
the focus of "" the cell "" in on the ornate interior of carl's mind , but the universe director tarsem singh creates seems more an exercise in computer-generated spectacle than an exploration of the psychotic personality . 
for the most part , it's style without substance . 
in his own mind , carl is a decadent emperor in flowing robes , ming the merciless , as well as a frightened boy ( jake thomas ) abused by his father . 
all in all , the mind of a psycho killer turns out to be a strangely dull place , and i kept wishing i could fast-forward to the next development . 
singh is best known for directing music videos , particularly rem's "" losing my religion , "" and "" the cell "" seems very much like a really long , really slow mtv video with the sound deleted . 
singer lopez seems to think she's in a video as well ; she devotes more time to posing in elaborate costumes than she does to acting . 
the premise had great promise . 
the computer-generated world within carl's mind could have been a bizarre , surreal universe governed by insanity and symbolism rather than logic . 
the first room catharine enters in carl's head shows this promise . 
she finds a horse standing in center of the room ; suddenly , sheets of sharp-edged glass fall into the horse , dividing it into segments . 
the panes of glass separate , pulling apart the pieces of the still-living horse . 
this scene is twisted , disturbing , and thought-provoking , because the psychological importance of the horse and its fate is left to the viewer to ponder . 
another element that should have been developed is the effect on catharine of merging with the mind of a psychopath . 
their minds begin to bleed together at one point in the movie , and this should have provided an opportunity to discover the dark corners of catharine's own psyche . 
like sidney lumet's "" the offence "" or michael mann's "" manhunter , "" "" the cell "" could have explored how the madness of the killer brings out a repressed darkness in the investigator . 
however , catharine's character is hardly developed at all , and lopez has no depth to offer the role . 
bottom line : don't get trapped in this one . 
"
"-1","synopsis : an aging master art thief , his supplier , and a young , buxom security consultant are all not who they first appear to be ( or are they ? ) in this convoluted mess involving a risky heist during the millennium . 
comments : this movie was boring . 
plain and simple . 
entrapment should not have been boring . 
it stars sean connery , who can still carry an action film despite his age , catherine zeta-jones , a likeable enough film presence , and ving rhames , ultra-cool star of pulp fiction and mission : impossible . 
it takes full advantage of the y2k computer bug fears ( a current "" hot topic "" in the news ) in its storyline , which is set at the end of 1999 . 
it has some genuinely well-staged action sequences . 
so , what went wrong ? 
plenty , unfortunately . 
the major problem with entrapment is its script . 
it has a been-there , done-that feel to it . 
nothing seems particularly inventive or original , so the whole movie lacks suspense and drags ( it runs nearly two hours ) . 
the screenwriters , for example , periodically use a countdown to the millennium as a means of transition between scenes ( i . e . 
 "" 4 days to the millennium "" ) . 
this device was used much more effectively in the overlooked sci-fi film strange days . 
the characters are not who they appear to be at the beginning , which is neat at first but the device wears thin once the umpteenth "" surprise "" revelation is made . 
entrapment , in other words , relies too heavily on the audience not knowing what each character's true motive is , resulting in a convoluted story which leaves many scratching their heads in confusion . 
the star power here is quite strong , but the viewer can't help but feel the actors are wasted in this production . 
sean connery is given such mind-numbing lines as "" never trust a naked woman . "" 
ving rhames' character seems like an afterthought ; he's not developed at all . 
the camera zooms in frequently and leeringly at catherine zeta-jones's tight wardrobe . 
this , in and of itself , is not bad , but , after a while , it has a juvenile feel to it . 
at least the species movies hold no bones about the fact that they're exploiting the female body . 
entrapment does the same under the thin disguise of plot development ( sean connery supposedly falls in love with the girl while watching her , in tights , arc and pivot around laser beams ) . 
the tagline for this movie reads "" the trap is set . "" 
it sure is , on those who spent money to see this movie . 
entrapment really isn't that bad ; it is watchable . 
i would suggest , however , one waits until this is on cable or television to see it . 
"
"-1","the first image in "" final fantasy : the spirits within "" is a computer-animated close-up of a human eye . 
it's a beautiful piece of work , remarkably detailed and quite convincing . 
when the picture pulls back to reveal the owner of the eye , however , things change . 
the young woman has mesmerizing hair , although it hangs too artfully ? even by movie standards ? to be believed . 
the facial features are more detailed than any computer-animation seen to date , but the result is more reminiscent of a very well-crafted doll than anything human . 
she is pretty , but bland , and not nearly expressive enough to come off like a person . 
all the characters in "" final fantasy "" are like that . 
of the core group , the younger white men and women are all athletic , attractive and indistinct , like applicants for a tv reality show . 
the black man is taller and burlier , and the aging scholar is bald , with wrinkles and a beard . 
none of them appear to be based on individuals ; they all look like the products of general descriptions given a police sketch artist . 
it gets worse when they talk and move . 
why is the sarcastic voice of steve buscemi , he of the great twisted face and snaggleteeth , coming out of the mouth of some dreary ken doll ? 
why , for every fluid physical gesture , do we also see herky-jerky puppet-style motions ? 
more to the point , who decided a full-length computer animated movie featuring "" hyperreal "" ( their term , not mine ) humanoids was a good idea ? 
 "" final fantasy "" is based on a phenomenally popular video game i've never played , with a story straight out of japanese anime , which more often than not leaves me bored and depressed . 
if you're a fan of either , please spare me your letters , as i will focus solely on the finished film and not its source materials . 
with an expression-challenged cast , "" final fantasy "" mixes turgid action scenes with heaps of mystical shit . 
the result is ugly , confusing and boring . 
note : the following reveals the basic plot . 
if you want to have a fighting chance of making any sense of the movie , i suggest you read it . 
earth is at war with aliens that appear to feed on human souls . 
most of our planet is devastated , with humans living in a few protected cities . 
while the bulk of the survivors focus on military strategies , aki ross ( voiced by ming-na ) and her mentor , dr . sid ( donald sutherland ) , believe in a more organic approach . 
they operate on the notion ( quoting straight from the press kit ) "" that all life forms have signature spirit waves that can be identified and contained . 
aki and dr . sid collect a series of organic specimens whose spirit signatures combined will form a wave of equal and opposite intensity to the spirit wave of the alien force . 
the waves will , in effect , cancel each other out and disarm the foreign contagion . 
they have collected six of the eight key spirits needed to complete their wave . 
they are on a desperate hunt to find the remaining two spirits before their time runs out . "" 
are you still with me ? 
there's only a little more . 
aki is infected with the alien force . 
dr . sid has developed a method of confining the contagion and keeping it from killing her , but the defense wall won't hold much longer . 
already , the alien is communicating with aki through her dreams . 
aiding aki and dr . sid are the deep eyes , a group of hard-as-nails types that would have felt at home with the troops in "" aliens . "" 
capt . gray edwards ( alec baldwin ) heads the task force that consists of a wise guy ( buscemi ) , a tough woman ( peri gilpin ) and a gentle giant ( ving rhames ) . 
throwing a monkey wrench into the plans is the requisite dumb ass : in this case general hein ( james woods ) , who wants to use the zeus cannon to bomb the aliens back to the stone age , even if it destroys earth as well . 
so there you have it . 
like most of the anime i've seen , the plot combines apocalyptic settings , lots of shooting and fuzzy spirituality , all wrapped up in a save-the-earth bow . 
but i'm bored with apocalyptic settings . 
i understand why so many live-action films employ them ? they're cheap ? but animated films can show anything , so why wallow in an industrial trash heap ? 
the action scenes and shoot-em-ups don't satisfy either . 
the humans move oddly and their facial features are so muted that the talented voice cast can't bring them to life ( in fact , their efforts merely emphasize what we're missing ) . 
aki is especially disappointing ; with her lack of expression and flat delivery , she looks and sound like a brunet version of weena , the eloi girl from 1960's "" the time machine . "" 
drab color choices and aliens that appear to have been created in jell-o molds sap the pizzazz from the big set pieces . 
students of computer animation may be fascinated with the technology behind "" final fantasy : the spirits within , "" but i found it sub-par across the board . 
 "" futurama "" does more effective battle visuals , the kids in "" south park "" are far more expressive than these mannequins and any old episode of the contemporary version of "" the outer limits "" does better doom and gloom sci-fi . 
so who needs this ? 
not me . 
"
"-1","plot : token director alan smithee steals the only copy of his film "" trio "" from the studio , after they complete the "" final cut "" without him . 
he threatens to burn the film reel if they do not allow him to keep his vision . 
critique : wow . 
i really can't remember the last time a movie sucked on so many levels ! 
the "" comedy "" in this film is pathetic , obvious and dated ( oj simpson jokes galore ) . 
the plot is uninteresting , boring and bad . 
the structure of the film is annoying , repetitive and pretentious . 
the acting is pretty bad , especially jackie chan , who can't act to save his life . 
the cameos are lame and seem forced , and the ending blows chunks . 
all in all , this movie believes itself to be a clever , humorous and edgy look behind the closed doors of hollywood , but comes across as a boring , stupid and completely unentertaining piece of shite . 
i love to see movies about hollywood shenanigans , but this one bites the big one . 
see it if you like to watch really bad movies , otherwise skip it , because it will just have you hating every star that makes an appearance in it . 
luckily for us all , this mess only lasts about 80 minutes , and miramax honcho harvey weinstein plays a lead-faced detective . 
by the way , is there any reason why the studio or the producer couldn't have cut another version of the film by the way of all the filmed stock that was left over ? 
who knows , who cares , this "" satire "" sucks the bag . 
little known facts about this film and its stars : ironically , the original director of this film , arthur hiller , also requested his name be taken off the credits and replaced by the dga's alan smithee moniker . 
this was after the film's production company , cinergi pictures , preferred the cut made by producer/writer joe eszterhas to his . 
the original script of this film included arnold schwarzenegger and bruce willis . 
eszterhas announced through the media during post-production that cinergi pictures didn't have the money to pay for soundtrack . 
he said that he would finance the soundtrack from his own money and asked to submit tracks for it to him . 
he received 9 , 200 cds and cassettes from mostly unknown and unsigned artists , listened to all that was sent ( at least a couple of tracks from each record ) and compiled the soundtrack . 
this film practically swept the "" razzie awards "" in 1999 , given out to the worst of all movie categories of the year , with no less than the "" worst picture "" award , the "" worst screenplay "" ( joe eszterhas ) , the "" worst supporting actor "" ( joe eszterhas ) , the "" worst new star "" ( joe eszterhas tied with jerry springer ) and the "" worst original song "" ( "" i wanna be mike ovitz ! "" 
as written by joe eszterhas ) . 
"
"-1","plot : a rich guy who doesn't believe in love , orders a mail-order bride for himself . 
that very evening , the couple is married and fall madly in love soon thereafter . 
but what's this ? 
one of them might not be the person they are pretending to be ? 
wow . . . a 
sin , indeed . 
critique : easily one of the worst movies that i've seen all year . 
too long , too boring , too predictable and too ridiculous for anyone interested in watching a good movie . 
what the hell were they thinking when they made this thing ? 
 ( it's no wonder that the film has been sitting on the racks for about a year ) this felt like a really bad tv movie of the week , with some nudity stuffed in from time to time , just to wake up the audience . 
have you ever switched channels and fallen upon one of those ridiculously melodramatic tv movies , one that you just couldn't help but switch back to from time to time , just to make sure that it wasn't part of some sick joke ? 
well , this movie is exactly like that , only it isn't a joke , it isn't on tv and you are asked to pay money to see it ! ! 
i say again . . . what the shite were they thinking ? 
okay , so where do i start ? 
first of all , the trailer of this film gives away the movie's main plot twist , the betrayal . 
so for the first half hour of the film , you're basically just sitting there , watching these two "" lovers "" go through the motions until the "" betrayal "" occurs . 
whoopee , big surprise . 
second of all , angelina jolie is horribly miscast in this part . 
why ? 
well , it's like this : not for one second do you ever believe that she is not a nasty backstabbing woman ! 
i mean , it's like all of those people who complained about jack nicholson being psycho from the start of the shining , well , the same goes here . 
every look in jolie's eyes screams "" psycho "" ! 
then of course , you have the case of the "" patsy "" husband , a man who just can't seem to figure out anything in time . 
i mean . . . how 
boring is that for the audience ? 
you're watching this guy screw up time after time after time , and somehow , we're supposed to feel sorry or care about this dude . 
no , thanks ! 
and if we don't care about him , and we really don't care about her ( she's a beeyatch and as confused as we are about her actual motivations in the film ) , who the hell are we supposed to care about in this film ? 
well , i'll tell you . 
the only thing that i was worrying about the whole way through this picture was whether or not i'd actually fall asleep before the end credits rolled . 
no suspense , no chemistry between the leads , no real love or passion , no sense of surprise , plenty of plot holes for everyone and an extra moronic ending . 
so why am i even giving this film a rating of three points ? 
well , it's actually pretty simple . 
i liked the locations in the movie and the groovy score , but my primary reason for slipping three notches onto this bedpost is for the gratuitous shots of jolie's boobies ( that's two points right there ! ) and another one for antonio's ass ( hairless , just for the record ) . 
everything else in this movie was pointless , boring and just plain stupid . 
try imagining a soft-porn movie . . . but 
without the plot ! 
that's pretty much what you've got here . 
a low point in the careers of both stars . 
oops , i almost forgot to mention the crappy dialogue . . . god 
oh mighty . . . make 
it stop ! ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
american psycho ( 9/10 ) - cruel intentions ( 8/10 ) - eyes wide shut ( 6/10 ) - fatal attraction ( 8/10 ) - playing by heart ( 7/10 ) - under suspicion ( 7/10 ) - what lies beneath ( 8/10 ) - what women want ( 4/10 ) - whipped ( 7/10 ) 
"
"-1","not a great twelve months for either of the principals from this movie . 
earlier this year , nora ephron wrote and produced one of the year's least likeable "" comedies "" called hanging up , featuring a bunch of annoying women ( ironically , lisa kudrow played one in that film as well ) who barely have time to care about anyone but themselves . 
ick . . . real 
sweet stuff . 
but her little unsuccessful project was nothing compared to what john travolta went through earlier this summer , with a film entitled battlefield earth . 
i seemed to be the only person on this planet who somehow appreciated the film , even if it was on a "" cheese "" factor , as everybody , and i mean everybody else , pretty much classified the movie as one of the worst disasters of all time . 
yipes . . . another 
beauty . 
so what happens when you put these two people in the same room and come out with a movie co-starring the ever-versatile lisa kudrow ? 
uhhhm , you guessed it . . . not 
much . 
plot : in order to escape major financial difficulties , a local weatherman hooks up with his ball-picking lotto girlfriend and rigs the state lottery . 
but as more and more people find out about their scheme , more and more people demand a part of their winnings , and more and more problems arise . 
critique : simply stated , i didn't laugh once during this entire picture . 
for a comedy , it offered me a few smiles , a bunch of nincompoops as characters , a miscast john travolta hamming it up and lisa kudrow , in what can only described as a "" sluttier "" version of her character of phoebe on tv's "" friends "" . 
this film was not as disastrous as i thought it would be , but it was pretty close . 
thankfully , the clips of travolta dressed up in goofy outfits , dancing as the weatherman were left in the film's trailer , and not in this final cut . 
and not unlike the worst movie of the year so far , beautiful , this film also managed to feature many unsympathetic , idiotic and just plain irritating characters in its cast . 
foremost was travolta's character , who declined to give us any reason to care for him once in the entire movie . 
and for me , the casting choice of john travolta for this role was just plain wrong . 
he didn't fit the part . 
i just saw him in get shorty the other day and thought about how perfect he was for that role . 
a cool , calculating roughneck with a certain hip , suave "" je ne sais quoi "" . 
in this film , he looks like he's trying to be funny , trying to be bad , trying to be good . 
we're not supposed to be able to notice that , and when we do , at least in my case , i consider it a wrong choice in casting . 
add that to lisa kudrow , boring us with yet another one of her patented "" dumb blonde "" routines , but this time , dressed in sexier outfits . 
michael rapaport , stretching one small acting muscle to play the guy who isn't quite up at the same speed level as everyone else . 
and a truckload of empty comedic bullet shells , and you've got yourself an extremely quiet audience anticipating punch lines that never quite materialize . 
the only real good thing that i could say about this film is that its story was actually half-interesting and never really bored me . 
i also liked michael moore's perverted cousin character , and i loved , and i say it again , loved the character that bill pullman played . 
give this dude his own movie ! 
he played a lazy cop , a man who tries everything not to do any real work . 
he fakes injuries to get off duty , tries to avoid arrest situations so that he won't have to fill out any forms . . . now 
there's a base of humor . 
sadly , the filmmakers decided to bring him into play with only about half an hour left in the film . 
and there's not much else i can say about this movie , folks . 
on the whole , it was lame , included a slew of unlikable characters fiddling around in a pool of unfunny lines , and very little of interest for any target audience . 
but get somebody to write up a movie featuring that lazy cop played by pullman and i'm there ! 
"
"-1","the stereotypical american male has an undeniable fetishistic love of sports cars . 
producer jerry bruckheimer plays upon that attraction with a movie so loaded with testosterone and laced titillatingly with shot after frenetic shot of powerful muscle cars , sleek foreign road huggers and iconic speed machines that many males will leave the theater in an orgasmic haze . 
gone is 60 seconds is an orgy of maleness gone horribly awry . 
cage is legendary retired car thief , memphis raines ( don't you love cute movie names ) , who must call upon his time worn skills to save his thick-headed brother ( ribisi ) from being killed . 
seems a murderous crime boss ( eccleston ) with a fetish for wood ( insert your own joke ) hired brother kip to steal a ridiculous amount of expensive , exotic autos . 
fifty cars , to be exact . 
poor kip screws the pooch and bungles the job badly . 
if the cars aren't delivered in three days , bossman has a casket carved out just for kip . 
literally . 
if only someone could save him . 
hmmmm . . wonder 
what memphis is doing ? 
in order to give the film some emotional heft , there are several subplots designed to tug at our heartstrings or give us the thrill of . . . yawn , excuse me , dramatic tension . 
shadowing memphis is an old law enforcement foe ( lindo ) who's looking to send memphis away . 
will he catch him ? 
there's old flame sway ( jolie ) , who had her heart broken by memphis years ago . 
will they get back together ? 
shortsighted , thrill seeker kip idolizes his brother , yet resents him for moving away from the family . 
will they reconnect ? 
raines old mentor ( duvall ) has long since left the life of crime . 
will memphis get him finally caught as he pulls him back into the life , one more time ? 
can you answer all these questions correctly in 2 seconds without seeing the film first ? 
i'll bet you can . 
following the opening credits , which fill you in on the accomplishments of the raines family through a montage of old photos , we was taken full throttle into the splendor that is memphis . 
he's first shown living the good life teaching young children to drive go-carts . 
in a later scene , as misfit brother kip knowingly tells memphis he has the stolen car situation under control , all the while making breakfast , a metaphor is made of shakespearean proportions . 
just as a pan of grease flares up with kip clueless to how to quell it , big brother memphis calmly and efficiently throws some salt on it . 
looks like everything might turn out alright after all . 
you know this because the music swells on the crest of violins . 
that's about as strong as the characterization gets , which is a shame . 
bruckheimer has a real talent for loading his movies with an obscene amount of talent given the task at hand . 
monumentally underused jolie portrays an empty headed sexpot whose idea of sex revolves around cars and memphis . 
or maybe it's just the cars . 
duvall trots out his ornery , but sweet old codger outfit . 
i'm sure he's still laughing at taking a paycheck for this one . 
lindo projects a warm hearted , but tightly focused detective that almost transcends the material . 
the biggest waste of resources is vinnie jones , who plays a mute accomplice of memphis . 
without saying a word , he is easily the most charismatic person in the movie . 
like a blast of nitrous oxide , he attacks each scene with a straightforward zeal . 
too bad his minutes onscreen are so few . 
somehow , bruckheimer manages to attract top hollywood acting talent to high concept , poorly written movies , gussies up the film with lots of gold hues and pleasingly stylized action and they sell like proverbial hotcakes . 
every time something clever happens it's counterbalanced by something so overtly wrong that it jerks you back into realizing you're watching a movie . 
there's a innovative usage of black lighting that goes from being a novelty to a part of the plot . 
it's counterbalanced by an extremely feeble attempt at humor by having an asian american repeatedly failing a driver's test . 
imagine the yuks . 
there's a segment where one of the thieves shows another his cool fake fingerprint trick . 
it's countered by the lame semi-subplot of a car being stolen with a bunch of heroin in the trunk . 
the ramifications are never explored . 
then there's the ridiculousness of the many cops who actually shoot at fleeing cars . 
not only is it stupid , but it's against the law . 
this is a movie made of pretty , but tepid car chases strung together by just enough character interaction to move the plot along . 
gone in 60 seconds aptly describes how long it'll take for this marginally entertaining , but empty film to leave your memory . 
"
"-1","first and foremost i think this movie comes to grief at the hands of the pg rating it's been given . 
for those of us who haven't read the james lee burke novel that heaven's prisoners is based on , do not rabidly go out and buy tickets to movies featuring the combined talents of alec baldwin and eric roberts , feel vaguely depressed by the notion of swamps , gangsters with louisiana accents , plots , sub-plots , more plots , and well , really just want to see teri hatcher naked , this is one movie you're going to worry the price of admission over . 
hopeful still ? 
well , let me share my moment of sheer panic , and then the cold enervation of the big let-down when a semi-robed hatcher purrs to alec baldwin , "" what do you think of my butterfly ? "" . 
butterfly ? , 
i asked myself , what butterfly ? ! 
and then it hit me . . . 
the scene had been snipped ! 
damn you , godless pg rating , show us her butterfly ! ! 
we want to see the goddamn butterfly ! ! ! 
so . . . 
no naked teri hatcher . 
forget about that . 
okay ? 
now . . . 
heaven's prisoners is about ex-alchoholic ex-cop dave robicheaux ( alec baldwin ) who's trying to discover life anew running a bait shop and boat hire business with his loving , down-to-earth wife annie ( kelly lynch ) . 
everything dull , but hunky dory until a plane carrying illegal immigrants crashes almost ontop of the couple while they're on their boat . 
the plane nosedives into the water and sinks , but from its wreckage robicheaux rescues a little pixie-faced salvadoran girl whom he and his wife immediately decide to adopt . 
what they don't realise is that the plane's pilot was also a drug dealer , and that the plane had been sabotaged by the latter's erstwhile colleagues . 
when robicheaux discovers this , he predictably , against the advice of his wife , a well-meaning dea agent , and two gangsters who rough him up , begins 'poking his nose where it don't belong' , we know that the man deserves all the misery he's going to get . 
the question now is whether or not you want to be dragged along for the ride through a tedious , meandering yet utterly suspenseless plot with an unlovable hero as your guide . 
as dave robicheaux , alec baldwin is fat . . . 
no seriously , this is not the svelte , thinking man's hero of the hunt for red october , it is an out-of-shape guy who doesn't look too good in a roof-top chasing scene . 
he's also unconvincing in the movie's dramatic moments , acting with what as far as i can tell is a steven segal-like economy of expression . 
three-quarters of the way through the show , while you're probably waiting for the next scene in a bar where robicheaux contemplates succumbing to the temptation of the whiskey bottle , getting drunk and beating up someone or getting beaten up , you'll want to beat on him a little yourself . 
on the other hand , mary stuart masterson ( some kind of wonderful , fried green tomatoes , benny & joon ) cast as a down-and-out stripper who has her fingers broken is quite a breath of fresh air , with just the right mix of cynicism , warmth , insecurity and humour to be the movie's only endearing character . 
eric roberts as bubba rocque , always believable as the woman-abusing bad guy who knows how to box ( see final analysis , coincidentally also directed by phil joanou ) is believable here as the woman-abusing bad guy who knows how to box . 
and lest we forget teri hatcher's role in all this , this being her rather well-publicised paid vacation from playing lois lane on tv's "" adventures of lois & clark "" . . . 
she is totally ridiculous as rocque's manipulative and seductive cajun wife , coming across as devious as a mildly disgruntled au pair who's trying to get back at an employer who hasn't been giving her enough days off . 
it's probably safe to say that her day job beckons . 
and at the end of our day , none of this is really worth 2 hrs and 12 minutes of our personal misery . 
the flying inkpot's rating system : * wait for the video . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"-1","it's amazing how a comedian can have the some of the funniest stand-up around but completely fall flat in the movies . 
take adam sandler . 
on the basis of his first two cds ( "" they're all gonna laugh at you ! "" 
and "" what the hell happened to me ? "" ) , 
he's the best thing to hit comedy since robin williams . 
but when you put him in front of a camera , it just isn't the same . 
i kind of enjoyed happy gilmore and thought that it warranted a marginal recommendation , but his latest film , the waterboy is about as funny as a root canal . 
seriously , i'm willing to wager than there were more laughs in saving private ryan than there are here . 
in fact , i found this movie to be more depressing than comedic . 
the first half hour generated not one smile in me , with it's scenes of emotional abuse towards adam's character of bobby boucher not only by the cruel football players , but also by his very disturbed mother ( kathy bates - what is the world coming to ? ) . 
granted , after the film gets rolling , there are a few mild chuckles throughout ( i'm even willing to admit that it actually had me laughing once or twice ) , but not nearly enough to sustain the waterboy for it's nearly hour and a half running time . 
you're all familiar with the plot because you've seen it at least a million times before ; everyone picks on the hero until he shows a hidden talent and leads the underdog team to victory over the champions , in the process not only winning the respect of his teammates but also getting the woman he loves . 
and believe me , i'm not giving anything away by saying that sandler's team wins . 
if you would actually feel any degree of suspense watching this movie , then god be with you . 
the only things that keep this bomb from getting the big banana are the winning performances from henry winkler as the insecure coach and the severely underrated fairuza balk as bobby's love interest . 
i mean , they should be lending their talents to some loftier purpose , but they do extremely well with what they are given here . 
kudos to both of them . 
my advice to adam is to try and follow in the footsteps of veteran comedians like williams and steve martin , who made a very smooth and successful transition from stage to screen . 
rely more on actual comedy rather than strange voices and rude noises to make people laugh . 
or maybe even show what dramatic talent he might have , like jim carrey did with the recent truman show . 
with the obvious and considerable talent that he possesses , he just can't keep going on like this . 
"
"-1","according to popular film opinion , a film's greatness is determined by time . 
take for example "" casablanca . "" 
great film , even today . 
it's still as powerful as it was when it came out and still as romantic and tragic . 
another example would be "" star wars , "" which had a very , very healthy box office gross despite the fact that we had all seen it about 3 billion times before . 
but as i rewatched "" independence day "" when it came out on video after being the number one hit of 1996 , i kinda felt like it wasn't as cool as when i had first seen it . 
i had liked it when i saw it the first time ( * * * was my original view ) and basically saw it as a good "" escape film . "" 
but when i rewatched it , i felt cheated . 
thus , the curse of the "" event film . "" 
 "" independence day "" is like that kid who come out of nowhere and makes everybody happy at once ( except for a couple kids - the critics , in this situation ) . 
but after a while , this kid becomes annoying and you just wait for the next one . 
well , this kid is the "" event film "" in my little analogy . 
and when i rewatched "" independence day , "" not only did it not look cooler at all on the big screen , but i felt insulted the whole time . 
there are too many gaping craters in the plot and you just aren't sure if it's comedy or hokey drama . 
one scene , you'll see a hilariously nebbish scene between jeff goldblum and judd hirsch ; the next you'll see a bunch of military uptight guys walking around , saying corny lines . 
the worst is a scene between brent spiner and bill pullman where spiner is sayinig something innocently funny but is barked like a junkyard dog by bill pullman who gives him the most unitentionally funniest speech since the end of "" glen or glenda ? "" 
now this annoying kid's problem is that in the process of trying to make everyone like him all at once , he shows he has no balls . 
and "" independence day "" has no balls . 
it plays it safe everywhere . 
it throws in a ton of action that is borrowed from other superior films . 
the chase scene between the alien ship and will smith is straight out of "" star wars . "" 
i mean , isn't that devil's den ? 
and the aliens are about as anticlimactic as demi moore's breasts in "" striptease . "" 
they're these octopus men , boring freaking octopus men . 
i mean , come on . 
the aliens in "" 2001 "" were more interesting and you didn't even see them ! 
basically the plot is straight from a b-movie from the 50s : aliens come to earth and we wonder if they're hostile or peaceful . 
okay , it's an interesting topic , but it's not handled greatly . 
now they aren't and somehow a computer geek , jeff goldblum , figure out they're using our satellites as a countdown to destruction . 
yep . 
these aliens are not only heavily armed , they're stupid too . 
they also use the same kind of computer as we do , but that comes about later . 
the president ( bill pullman ) , who's under attack for being a wimp , decides this would be a nice time to be belligerent , and he decides he'll stay in the white house which the aliens have covered . 
i don't care if it's bob freaking dole in the white house , get him out of there . 
i don't care if you have to inject him with sodium pentathol , just get him out of there . 
later on , he's stupid and wants to fly in the attack on a big alien ship . 
i think it's time for impeachment for this guy . 
he's more senile than reagan on pot . 
then there's a cocky pilot ( will smith ) who is the only person to survive the counter-attack on the second day and becomes moses in leading his children to the elusive area 51 ( the film's only sign of being brave ) . 
his girlfriend's a stripper sharing a subplot with "" striptease "" in that she has to do it for her son . 
come on , she has a fighter pilot boyfriend/soon-to-be fiance . 
i think she can quit that job and get a more respectable job at long john silvers . 
she's also the few , the proud , the lucky to survive the igniting of l . a . ( as well as her dog , who narrowly survives ) . 
there are some bright spots . 
they tossed in enough old film homages to keep me laughing . 
the best one is when jeff goldblum ( nicely named david ) turns on his computer and a picture of hal comes up and says , "" good morning , dave . "" 
and they even played r . e . m . 's 
 "" it's the end of the world as we know it ( and i feel fine ) at the beginning . 
and judd hirsch steals the film by actually acting great ( he's a stereotype , but i just loved the man anyway ) . 
but there are no real subtle comic moments . 
will gets way too many one-liners and he has no one to play off of ( execept jeff towards the end , and the two do great ) . 
as i said , this film has no balls . 
it is just aiming for a crowd pleaser and that's what it is . 
but after a couple months , we all move on to the next "" event "" film while intaking little films and a couple indy ones for good measure . 
but at least the indy ones last for a lifetime . 
this one's short on batteries . 
"
"-1","by trying to satisfy every kind of viewer , it's possible that sphere may end up pleasing no one . 
action lovers will be bored by what they will see as an interminably boring setup . 
audience members who crave more intellectual fare will be disgusted by the film's sudden collapse into mindless storytelling and by the ending , which is an insulting cop-out . 
somewhere out there , maybe there's a small cadre of film-goers who will appreciate sphere's dubious charms , but i'm not among them . 
i sincerely hope the novel is better than the movie ( i no longer read anything by either michael crichton or john grisham ) , because if the finished motion picture product is anything to go by , it's hard to understand why the rights were optioned . 
sphere is the kind of first- class mess that only a top-line director with an a-list cast can create . 
with expectations high ( and how could they not be , considering that another barry levinson/dustin hoffman collaboration , the excellent wag the dog , is still playing in theaters ? ) , 
something this bad can't help but look even worse . 
the last time a big-name , big-budget film displayed this level of ineptitude was last year's batman & robin , and everyone knows how that movie was received . 
sphere starts out a little like an amalgamation of contact and james cameron's the abyss , but , somewhere along the way , it collapses into the cellar with another recent science fiction effort , event horizon . 
science and philosophy , which are used to good effect during sphere's first hour , give way to mindless , confusing action sequences . 
attempts at characterization fall apart . 
intelligent writing , which is evident early on , is replaced by hackneyed drivel . 
special effects take over as the plotline devolves into incoherent silliness . 
but all that is just in preparation for the ending , which is inexcusably awful . 
this is the time-honored deus ex machina device used to its worst effect . 
i left the theater feeling cheated by the way crichton and his screenwriters had chosen to end the film . 
there is some promise , but it's all in the setup . 
we're introduced to norman goodman ( dustin hoffman ) , a psychologist who once wrote a $35 , 000 report for the government about what to do in the event that a crashed space ship is discovered . 
when one is found in the middle of nowhere , 1000 feet below the surface of the pacific ocean , norman is called in to be part of the welcoming committee . 
on the team with him are beth halperin ( sharon stone ) , a biochemist who was once his student and lover ; harry adams ( samuel l . jackson ) , a mathematician who earned his first doctorate at the age of 18 ; ted fielding ( liev schreiber ) , an astrophysicist who is awed by the opportunity to explore alien technology ; and harold barnes ( peter coyote ) , the government operative in charge of the mission . 
together , the five descend into the bowels of the ocean , where they rendezvous with a temporary sea base on the ocean floor from which they will attempt to make first contact . 
for a while , sphere had me fooled into thinking it was going to take an astute approach to the man-meets-alien situation . 
the overall scenario is not without promise and several plot twists ( such as the revelation that the enormous craft is actually an american space ship , apparently from the future ) offer intriguing possibilities . 
then , right around the one-hour mark ( that's the time to sneak into the theater next door and check out whatever's left of titanic ) , the virtually non-stop action begins , and , once it starts , the script becomes superfluous . 
this might be acceptable if director levinson generated some legitimate tension , but , instead , he relies on loud , overbearing music , strange camera angles , and quick cuts to make things "" exciting . "" 
additionally , because none of the characters are well-formed ( a common failing in anything penned by crichton , who's more interested in technology than people ) , viewers don't develop much of a rooting interest . 
it makes sitting through sphere a frustrating and pointless experience . 
what about that a-list cast ? 
not surprisingly , the most energetic performance is given by samuel l . jackson , but his harry isn't a person ; he's a walking plot device spouting occasionally-witty dialogue . 
dustin hoffman isn't lively or particularly good -- it's ironic that this , which may be his worst work in a decade , has arrived in theaters on the heels of his best actor nomination ( for wag the dog ) . 
sharon stone and peter coyote are both flat . 
their characters exhibit little evidence of emotion ; automatons would have been as effective . 
then there's queen latifa , who , despite getting fifth billing in the credits ( ahead of liev schreiber , who boasts at least quadruple her screen time ) , has less than a handful of lines and almost nothing to do other than inflate the body count . 
i like to think that levinson and hoffman , recognizing how uninspired this movie was likely to be , chose to make wag the dog as a sort of penance ( the low-budget picture was filmed during sphere's lengthy pre-production phase ) . 
if that's the case , forgiveness is granted . 
i'm less inclined to look favorably upon crichton , although he has a few enjoyable titles on his resume ( jurassic park and the levinson-directed disclosure come to mind ) . 
even if his novel was butchered in the adaptation process , crichton's credit as a producer disallows him absolution . 
he was a willing participant in a creative travesty . 
no wonder sphere is being released in february , in the midst of the early year's cinematic wasteland . 
it deserves no better than to get sunk by the unstoppable titanic , which should plow sphere under on its way to a ninth-consecutive weekend atop the box office heap . 
"
"-1","shakespeare in love is quite possibly the most enjoyable period piece ever made for the silver screen . 
it is both humorous and romantic in a very unique blend that can successfully entertain any audience for the nearly 2 and and a half hours that it occupies . 
that is , however , not to say it is a good film , a quality production or anything of the sort . 
shakespeare in love is an incredibly cheap illusion that truly pans out to be very little quality or original work . 
the finest sign of this may be the plot , in looking back , there seems to be little more than a thin , predictable plot that is only carried by the portrayal of people that we revere in our history books . 
philip henslowe ( geoffrey rush ) owns 1 of the 2 theatres in london . 
it is at the peak of the royal theatre era , and queen elizabeth ( the recently damed judi dench , by , appropriately enough , queen elizabeth ii ) is very much a fan . 
however , to directly quote the film , he has "" cash flow problems . "" 
through a long set of events , it becomes apparent that his entire life is dependent on his next show doing well enough to pay off his debts . 
so , mr . henslowe employs the young playwright , william shakespeare ( joseph fiennes ) to pen a comedic production . 
however , the young writer has a severe case of writer's block , and blames it on the fact that his love life is struggling as well . 
he has the title in mind , romeo and ethel , the pirate's daughter ( even that joke loses steam after a while ) but can't seem to put words to paper . 
then , as only hollywood could have it , through a long set of twisted events , he meets viola de lesseps ( gwyneth paltrow ) and falls madly in love , thus curing his writer's block . 
there are many other little issues that mr . henslowe encounters , but they all pan out to be much ado about nothing . 
the first realization that i reached in watching this film is that one of the messages given is that a show should not always be credited to it's author . 
ironically , that couldn't be truer here . 
the great scenes that will sweep audiences away are not the scenes that fit in the plot , but rather the recitals of shakespearean lines by actors playing actors . 
one of the most breathtaking moments in this film does not involve the character of shakespeare or queen elizabeth or even the theatre owner , but rather 2 young children named romeo and juliet who chose to end their own lives in the name of love . 
so it is that i am offended by the fact that marc norman and tom stoppard are credited with writing this production , and the name william shakespeare is no were to be seen beyond a character's name in the credits . 
the acting in this entertaining yet poor film is often thin to the point that it would not have survived even in queen elizabeth's theatres . 
joseph fiennes may just be the worst of fall though . 
he is tragically unbelievable and comically bad . 
gwyneth paltrow is little more than satisfactory in her lead position as well . 
however , the supporting cast does almost save the day . 
geoffrey rush is nothing short of incredible and judi dench is breathtaking . 
they both seem to have shown that as proven actors they could survive in this film of weak links . 
you will also find a very good performance by ben affleck in his first real role since good will hunting ( no , armageddon doesn't qualify as real acting . ) . 
and rupert everett was cute in his small part as well . 
but not even they could save this sad excuse for a film , so it remains plagued by poor performances . 
when all is said and done , shakespeare in love is only worth the trip if you want to be entertained . 
however , as the film so kindly pointed out , entertainment may be fun , but it isn't necessarily quality . 
and this certainly isn't quality . 
perhaps this may be best compared to a john grisham novel , as a dear friend of mine often does compare things to his work . 
simply put , it is far-fetched , poorly crafted , but very entertaining . 
"
"-1","at times , you'd think edtv would be an entertaining film . 
i mean , who can resist the story of your average joe becomming a celebrity by having his life filmed every minute of every day ? 
but this average joe , ed perkuny , ( matthew mcconaughay ) , is a sappy , lifeless creation that wanders around , trying to solve everyone's problems and settle his own . 
mcconaughay is awful , especially because he is trying to pull off his usual hollywood charm with a 3 week beard and torn jeans . 
frankly , he had more charm in the devestating flop the newton boys . 
he overacts in every way : his overexaggerant body language , obsession with kissing women every second he gets the chance , and that cliched scene where he loses someone in his life , and drops to his knee and cries . 
the rest of the cast is very good ; especially martin landau ( as ed's step-father ) , who plays a cute role as the close-to-death old guy that makes all the witty comments . 
jenna elfman is good , ( but a little overemotional ) ; her main problem is that she keeps getting sucked into bad films , i . e . 
can't hardly wait , and krippendorf's tribe . 
woody harrelson , as ed's brother ray , does his usual egg-headed role , with his comic wit as well ( he wrote a book entitled , "" my brother pissed on me . "" ) 
elizabeth hurley is perfectly cast as the easy slut , and dennis hopper , in a quick cameo as ed's biological father , is a nice choice ( ironically coming after the role he turned down as christof in the truman show ) . 
ellen degeneres stood out as the executive who , after awhile , decides the show must not go on much to the opposite of the head exec , rob reiner's opinion . 
i hate to compare this film to the truman show , but the fact is , i was ashamed to see this movie . 
it felt that i had dropped from college to kindergarten after seeing truman and ed . 
edtv had no real wit or genius ; it was typical hollywood . 
extracting the tv part of the movie , you have the simple plotline : man steals brother's girlfriend , girlfriend leaves town , man gets new slut girlfriend to feel like he can move on , slut breaks up with him , real girlfriend comes back , and voila , you have a romance . 
i got so restless during this movie , i almost walked out . 
the only reason it doesn't drop below a "" c "" grade is because of the fine supporting performances . 
ad2am "" i almost lost my nose . . . and 
i like it . 
i like breathing through it . "" 
-jack nicholson , chinatown 
"
"-1","five years after his directorial debut based on stephen king's writings called the shawshank redemption ( 9/10 ) , writer/director frank darabont returns to the big screen with another prison film based on the famous scribblings of stephen king . 
unlike the latter film , this one is a big , long , laborious bore . 
plot : a seven-foot death row inmate is discovered to have secret healing powers . 
critique : this film is slow , drawn-out , boring , uninteresting , unexciting , predictable and topped with a couple of one-dimensional "" evil "" characters . 
its only positive attribute lies in its actors who all do credible jobs and its message of hope and belief in miracles . 
the real miracle of my night was the fact that i did not fall asleep during this straightforward , unimpressive film about a guy with special powers who we never truly understand or care about . 
of course , much like all other death row cell blocks , this one is filled with decent inmates who all happen to be "" misunderstood "" , except for one cookie-cutter crazy guy who is evil personified . 
and let's not forget all the guards on death row , who also happen to be angels from the heaven above , except for one cookie-cutter crazy guard who is also evil personified ( and is there any reason why there are about six guards when there appears to be no more than three inmates ? ? ? ) . 
am i supposed to identify with anyone in this film ? 
or even more importantly , am i supposed to give a rat's ass about anyone in this film ? 
well , if i was , i sure missed that boat , because the only thing that i ended up caring about during this entire picture was the obscene amount of fat that tom hanks has been able to burrow under his loose chin . 
furthermore , there is absolutely no reason in the world why director frank darabont needed to take three hours and ten minutes out of anyone's life to present this story . 
in fact , the story is empty within itself . 
i truly did not get anything out of the film other than the fact that there is a guy on death row who has special powers to heal , and we are left wondering if he should still be executed or not . 
wow . 
how interesting . 
the plot's utter predictability is also at fault here with one guess as to whom is to get healed by the gentle monster in this film ( we are told that one certain lady has a tumor early on in the movie ) . 
whip out those thinking caps , kids ! 
hmmm , and i wonder what will happen to those two cookie-cutter "" evil "" guys who have nothing in their system but hate and negativity . 
hmmmm , now think hard here , boys and girls . 
what a crock ! 
i am guessing that this film was supposed to be some three-hour exercise in spirituality , but unfortunately for me , it was neither spiritual or the least bit engaging . 
in fact , it was one big bore . 
i didn't see the point of the movie , i didn't see the point of the story and i certainly didn't see the point in tom hanks' big double-chin . 
all in all , a bad movie starring some great actors doing solid work , especially michael clarke duncan as the man of the hour , john coffey . 
give that man an award or something ! 
"
"-1","synopsis : a small town thug convinces a dimwitted high-school student to spy on his girlfriend , who is babysitting three unruly kids for their alcoholic parents on a friday night . 
while this is going on , the thug , the father , the boyfriend , and a kid reaching the onset of puberty all have fantasies about the babysitter . 
comments : to say this movie is bad would be quite an understatement . 
i'm not sure what writer and director ferland was hoping to accomplish with the babysitter . 
suspense ? 
family drama ? 
humor ? 
erotica ? 
elements of each of these genres exist in the film , yet it fails to successfully achieve any of them . 
instead , the babysitter is a dull , lifeless movie which manages to bore and ultimately irritate its viewers . 
i suppose this film could have been watchable if it weren't for the fact that the characters are universally unappealing . 
alicia silverstone is completely wasted playing jennifer , the babysitter . 
her character has absolutely no depth at all , and her sole purpose in the movie is to be the object of the other characters' fantasies . 
everyone else in the film seems to be in a competition to see who can stoop to the lowest level by the time the film ends . 
the parents are alcoholics who become increasingly obnoxious as the movie proceeds . 
the father ( played by j . t . 
walsh ) fantasizes about the babysitter ; the mother fantasizes about her husband's best friend . 
none of these fantasy sequences , trust me , are things that need to be seen , but we see them anyway , complete with cheesy , make-out saxophone music . 
the thug , in the meantime , proves that he's evil through his annoying habit of smashing half-empty beer bottles all of a sudden and for no apparent reason . 
the most absurd character , however , is the babysitter's boyfriend who seems catatonically brain-dead . 
the thug , in a manipulative , iago-like manner ( though he doesn't really need to try hard ) , manages to talk the boyfriend into binge-drinking , smoking grass , running away from cops , and playing peeping tom on his own girlfriend in a matter of minutes . 
incredible ! 
 ( of course , the boyfriend's original plan for the evening was , try not to laugh , to sit in an empty diner and read catcher in the rye by j . d . salinger . ) 
if the goal of the babysitter was to be suspenseful , then it fails . 
there are surprisingly few tense moments in this film , and nearly all of them come at the final minute . 
by that time , however , the audience is so tired of the inane characters that no one truthfully cares what happens to any of them . 
no suspense occurs in the dream sequences either because every single one of them is obviously a dream sequence from its inception . 
if the goal of the babysitter was to be humorous , then it also fails . 
i found nothing even remotely funny about the boozing parents who seemed , at times , to be played for laughs . 
if the goal of the babysitter was to be dramatic , then , once again , it fails . 
the characters are one-dimensional and uninteresting . 
finally , if the goal of the babysitter was to be titillating ( the type of film destined to be played ad infinitum on hbo at 2 in the morning ) , then it fails as well . 
the dream sequences aren't erotic ; they are too brief and , outside of one very short scene , contain no nudity . 
i can't completely trash this movie . 
the first 10 minutes or so vaguely resemble an interesting film , and the conclusion sports a halfway decent fistfight . 
the other 79 minutes , though , are a drag . 
silverstone's character , at the end of the movie , turns to her boyfriend and asks "" what were you thinking ? "" 
i asked myself the same question , having spent 99 cents renting this turkey . 
"
"-1","working in the motion picture industry must be a constant source of frustration for a front-line african american actress like jada pinkett smith . 
despite being one of the freshest talents available , pinkett smith has often been relegated to playing thankless supporting parts ( a low down dirty shame , the nutty professor ) . 
the problem is , of course , that there aren't many good roles available for black women . 
take away the likes of waiting to exhale , set it off , soul food , and eve's bayou , and all that's left is a chance to be someone's girlfriend , a local whore , or a murder victim . 
as a result , for pinkett smith's first opportunity atop the marquee , she is stuck in a stupid , formulaic romantic comedy with the unpromising title of woo . 
actually , woo , the latest directorial effort from daisy v . s . 
mayer ( party girl ) , could have been worse than it is . 
the film offers a few funny ( albeit juvenile ) moments and the on-screen relationship between pinkett smith's woo and tommy davidson's tim is appealing on those rare occasions when the two aren't forced to play it dumb for the sake of an endless barrage of cheap gags . 
unfortunately , huge portions of the movie are insulting to the intelligence of anyone with a triple-digit i . q . 
the situations are painfully contrived , the main characters are lifted right out of sit-coms , and the supporting players are so incredibly stupid that i wondered whether they all participated in some kind of "" free lobotomy "" lab experiment . 
woo is a spontaneous , energetic young woman who has been looking for love in all the wrong places . 
her latest relationship , with a testosterone-overdosed drug-dealer , came to an abrupt end when she refused to wear a beeper . 
now , her transvestite/medium friend celestrial ( girlina ) predicts that she's about to meet mr . right , and that he'll be a virgo . 
later that day , woo is given an opportunity to go out on a blind date with tim , a shy man with a penchant for neatness and order , who just happens to be a virgo . 
it's not love at first sight , however . 
things get off to a rocky start when tim makes an awkward pass , and they get even worse when the pair arrives at a swanky restaurant to enjoy a "" quiet "" dinner . 
in the one-hundred year history of motion pictures , there have been a ton of bad "" white "" movies about mismatched lovers , so i suppose it's only fair that we get a "" black "" effort of the same low caliber . 
as in all romantic comedies , we know from the beginning that woo and tim are going to end up together . 
the question is , are their courtship rituals entertaining ? 
in a good entry to the genre , the audience becomes caught up in the love story , no matter how familiar it is . 
in woo , the constant reliance upon unfunny , moronic humor sinks the project . 
for those who enjoy spotting continuity gaffes , there's a huge one in woo involving a corvette with a broken window that miraculously repairs itself ( added to that is the mystery of how the car looses its top ) . 
sadly , that's one of the film's most enjoyable sequences , and the entertainment value is entirely unintentional . 
despite exuding charm from every pore , there's little that pinkett smith and davidson can do to save their characters or david c . johnson's script . 
since it misses the mark by so much , a better name for woo might have been whoops . 
"
"-1","there is a scene early in jakob the liar that hints at how much better it could have been . 
the scene is set in a jewish ghetto in poland circa 1944 , where a one-time cafe proprietor named jakob heym is walking resolutely through the streets , fists stuffed into coat pockets . 
to one side of him , residents scavenge for food in the street ; to the other side , german troops beat a group of jews . 
jakob , however , never stops moving . 
it's an efficient , effective set-up for the character , who is clearly nobody's idea of a hero at the outset . 
he is a man who has responded to the horror of his surroundings by withdrawing from them , excising his moral peripheral vision . 
the set-up is critical because fate will turn jakob into a reluctant savior . 
after a visit to a german commandant's office and a moment alone with a turned-on radio , jakob learns that russian troops are quite near . 
when he brings this first news of the war in years to his fellow jews , they become convinced that he must have a radio , which is a punishable offense in the ghetto . 
the good news brings hope to the ghetto ; the everyday specter of suicide vanishes . 
a private man of limited creativity finds himself burdened with creating stories of russian military progress just to keep his neighbors alive . 
this promising story of an ordinary person doing the extraordinary is burdened from the outset by casting : the "" ordinary person "" in question , jakob heym , is played by robin williams . 
i am of the depressing opinion that williams is growing less assured as an actor in his "" serious "" roles with every passing year . 
compare his dramatic scenes in the world according to garp and moscow on the hudson with what dreams may come or patch adams , and see how much more mannered he has become ( or , at the very least , how much less sensible at choosing material ) . 
jakob the liar depends on the notion that jakob has to struggle to craft his fictions , but williams always looks like he's struggling _not_ to craft them . 
when he improvises a radio address by winston churchill for ailing 10-year-old orphan lina ( hannah taylor gordon ) , he seems relieved that he can finally get wacky . 
oh yes , and then there's that little girl . 
some viewers will undoubtedly consider the hero's fanciful stories for a young charge too reminiscent of life is beautiful , but those scenes aren't problematic because they're familiar . 
they're problematic because they're jarring and distracting , introducing a cutesy relationship into a film that shouldn't have been about cutesy relationships . 
jakob's character arc may be about his willingness to act for the benefit of others , but there are plenty of others without poor little lina . 
every scene with her feels contrived , pulling jakob the liar away from its central story of hope coming to a previously hopeless people . 
it is a pleasant surprise to find that jakob the liar is a much grittier production than you might expect from a hollywood-ized holocaust , combining the weighty subject matter with dark humor in some effective ways . 
director peter kassovitz , working from jurek becker's novel , crafts some nice scenes between jakob and the other townspeople , and draws solid performances from armin mueller-stahl ( as a once-revered doctor ) and bob balaban ( as a barber drifting into depression ) . 
there are just too many things going on that prove distracting , whether it's the sketchy romanctic angle involving liev schreiber as an earnest former prizefighter , or williams' incongrous presence , or a sweet but utterly irrelevant little girl . 
jakob the liar deals with too delicate a subject for such fumbling , and has too compelling a central character to waste . 
and after one wonderful early scene , you can see the film wasted and fumbled away . 
"
"-1","first troy beyer wrote the critically panned "" b . a . p . s . "" 
now she makes her directorial debut , writing , directing , and starring in this sub-par film about women talking about sex . 
though not without redeeming qualities , this film is bad . 
the basic story follows three single friends -- jazz ( beyer ) , lena ( randi ingerman ) , and michelle ( paget brewster ) -- in their search for love . 
jazz has an idea for a local talk show ; it would feature women talking about sex and dating . 
she and her friends make a demo tape of interviews with the women of miami . 
the film itself is sprinkled with these real interviews throughout , both as part of the plot and as commentary on the situations of the main characters . 
the fact that they are real provides a refreshing break from some of the more melodramatic moments in the film . 
there are several moments of bad acting , corny dialogue , and emotional overextension . 
in a low-budget independent film from a first-time director , these faults can sometimes be forgiven , if the screenplay is fresh and solid . 
that is not the case here . 
the script suffers from random plot developments . 
there are four or five of these turns in the plot , each one raising the question "" where did that come from ? "" 
at one point , a character has a lifelong reconciliation with her mother . 
we are supposed to be moved , but since the scene is completely un-led-up to , we really don't care if she and her mother get along . 
we've never seen her mother before . 
we never see her again . 
who cares ? 
what's worse , these sudden developments are supposed to engage our sympathy . 
at another point , a character announces that she can't have children . 
apparently , this is devastating . 
we wouldn't know this because she never talked about having kids before , but we are nevertheless expected to be devastated for her . 
the scene feels like an afterthought , its emotion manipulative and shallow . 
these scenes grow worse and worse , culminating in an absurd climax . 
two scenes were played with such overwhelming melodrama that i found myself laughing . 
one scene is a lover's spat between two minor characters . 
the other has the main characters expressing their copious grief by cleaning house in wails of despair and clouds of ajax . 
thinking on these scenes , it is hard for me to admit that the film has redeeming qualities . 
but it does . 
first , it is original . 
we men often wonder what women talk about when they are alone in groups , and i imagine this film gives me a pretty good idea . 
it's something i don't think has been the subject of a film . 
second , the interviews of the miami women are sincere . 
taken together , they form a mosaic picture of miami beachwalkers and bistro diners . 
the mosaic is made of sound bites and stereotypes , but each tile is some woman's real experience . 
neither the picture of women , nor their picture of men , is truly representative , but the point is that both sets of generalizations are telling in their own way . 
at some level , the stereotypes that emerge can be called true . 
i can imagine some people liking this film when its characters talk about their "" likes , dislikes , skills , and thrills , "" but on the whole , it's pretty bad . 
and that makes it even harder to forgive the bad acting , corny dialogue , and emotional overextension . 
i'll give beyer one more strike , and then she's out . 
rated r ( almost got an nc-17 ) for explicit sexual dialogue and nudity . 
"
"-1","susan granger's review of "" mulholland drive "" ( universal focus ) 
whatever david lynch is selling , i'm not buying . 
from the writer/director of "" blue velvet "" and "" twin peaks "" comes another dark , mysterious thriller that opens with an automobile accident on mulholland drive , the serpentine street that twists high in the hollywood hills . 
dazed , a beautiful brunette ( laura elena harring ) emerges and stumbles down a hill , slipping unobserved into a '30s-style apartment as the tenant leaves for a trip . 
the next morning , a dewy blonde ( naomi watts ) from deep river , ontario , arrives in la with dreams of stardom in her suitcase . 
her aunt owns the apartment and the two women meet . 
the brunette has amnesia so the blonde tries to help her discover her identity along with her latent lesbian lust . 
meanwhile , a hotshot director ( justin theroux ) , whose wife is in bed with the poolman , is forced to cast a certain actress in his new film and there's an assassin ( mark pellegrino ) roaming the city . 
the tortuous paths of these various characters - and others named cookie , coco and cowboy - intersect at various points but the plot remains elusive because , midway through the story , lynch has the brunette and blonde play two different women in an alternate reality , leaving a huge wad of cash , a blue metallic key , a paralyzed mogul and a lot of questions that go unanswered . 
elena harring and particularly naomi watts are gifted actresses , effectively making the subtle switch . 
the same cannot be said for former m . g . m . 
dancer ann miller who's stiff and self-conscious , speaking - like most lynch players - in staccato tones . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" mulholland drive "" is a frenzied , frustrating 4 . originally designed as an episodic tv pilot , this surreal triumph of suspenseful style over substance is packaged as a puzzle with several of the key pieces left out . 
"
"-1","georges polti once wrote a paper called "" the thirty-six dramatic situations , "" in which he asserted the fact that all drama could be defined by no more than thirty-six different situations . 
this may be the modern restatement of the biblical prophecy from ecclesiastes , "" there's nothing new under the sun . "" 
the faculty , the latest movie by from dusk till dawn director robert rodriguez , certainly proves this in typical hollywood fashion . 
there's not a measureable fraction of original material in this unworthy outing . 
drawing elements from both the puppet masters and invasion of the body snatchers , screenwriter kevin williamson ( of scream 2 credit ) gives us a horror tale set in middle america ( ohio ) one eventful fall . 
making use of a cast of unusually stock characters , williamson designs an alien invasion that will not be done independence day-style but rather "" through the back door . "" 
parasitic aliens take over the faculty of a run-down high school and soon have infested most of the student body , leaving it up to the ensemble of principal characters to win the day . 
the lack of gusto is the movie's major stumbling block . 
even though the genre has seen movies that have a lack for quality such as this , they've been saved by an energetic approach . 
this casts more than a shadow of a doubt on williamson's ability , who enjoyed success with the wes craven-directed scream but couldn't pull anything solid in for this outing or i know what you did last summer . 
although he designs the faculty with more of a sci-fi bent than his typical slasher picture , it still comes down to the same results : throw the stock characters in a steel cage match and see who comes out alive . 
on that level , the main roles are played by virtual unknowns . 
only the recognizeable elijah wood ( deep impact ) is at the front ; other than that , the screen veterans are saved for the minor roles of the alien teachers . 
perhaps williamson has it in mind to champion these up-and-comers to the fame that their scream and last summer counterparts achieved ; but to do that , they'd all need to star in their own wb television show about the horrors of puberty a la "" dawson's creek . "" 
needless to say the acting is far from top notch , nor does necessity ask that it should be . 
there is a moment or two of genuine horror , but unfortunately williamson and rodriguez did not take the story far enough in the sci-fi direction to make any use of it . 
in sum , the faculty was just one long shot that did not pay off . 
"
"-1","the most popular trend of the last couple of years has been the twist ending . 
watching one of these movies , everything seems to make sense until suddenly you are blown away by an unexpected surprise . 
when the film ends , there is a moment of confusion , then recollection , then some more confusion , then possibly a second viewing for clarification . 
this is a description of an ideal twist that perfects everything it sets out to do and more . 
good surprises make movies fun to watch . 
then there are the bad twists . 
you either know what is going to happen ten minutes into the movie ( i'm talking about you reindeer games ) or you did not guess the ending because it is so outrageously stupid . 
screwed perfectly suits the latter description . 
what starts out as a dumb guilty pleasure which should be fun to mock with a group of friends ends with a complex finale with way too much going on . 
by the writers of man on the moon and the people vs . 
larry flynt , scott alexander and larry karaszewski leave milos forman behind and take a stab at film directing . 
whoops . 
screwed is an inane christmas carol gone berserk with few genuine laughs and many acting embarrassments . 
norm macdonald stars as willard filmore , a hard working chauffeur who just wants a little respect from his rich , old , insidious boss , miss crock ( elaine stritch ) . 
when he overhears her plans to fire him on christmas day , willard is convinced by his best friend rusty ( dave chapelle ) to kidnap crock's beloved dog and hold it for a ransom of one million dollars . 
too excited to pay any attention , the hapless losers' plan goes awry when the dog escapes and returns home . 
now crock thinks willard has been kidnapped and the two friends , realizing they can make even more money , decide to stage the fake kidnapping . 
of course , everything that could go wrong does . 
the first forty-five minutes of screwed is harmless entertainment - a guilty pleasure that should be enjoyably bad . 
but the convoluted script eventually builds into a disaster that is impossible to bear . 
the more idiotic these characters get , the more reckless the script becomes . 
at one point , i wanted to get out of my seat and yell at these characters : "" no , you idiot ! "" 
i'm not just talking about willard and rusty , who were extremely annoying , i'm also talking about the cops in this film . 
a monkey could have solved this case within an hour but these guys ( headed by murder one's daniel benzali ) were just too clueless to forgive . 
they give real cops bad names . 
also poor danny devito apparently does not know how to turn down a role these days . 
looking almost identical to his penguin in batman : returns , every time he appeared on the screen i had to shake my head in disbelief . 
he just didn't belong in this movie . 
macdonald and chapelle are veterans at these kinds of movies but devito made the film much worse than it already was , gross out humor is certainly not his forte . 
if you're a fan of norm macdonald's other chaotic comedy , dirty work , you might actually love this near-sequel . 
otherwise , don't get screwed out of your hard-earned money . 
"
"-1"," "" spice world "" is just one long promotional film for the british girl band the spice girls . 
sure there's a hint of humor in there every once in a while . 
actually , there's a couple of pretty good jabs at the spice girls . 
but overall , who cares ? 
not me . 
if you don't know by now , the spice girls sing songs of love and friendship and responsibility and girl power , yet dress like streetwalkers from a lower middle class neighborhood . 
in "" spice world "" they ride around in their big tour bus , whining about having to do photo shoots and give interviews . 
amazingly , all the talk they do about keeping commitments and upholding responsibilities only really applies to fun things , things they want to do , not things they are required to do to keep earning money . 
and they keep babbling about "" girl power "" when they should really be talking about "" cleavage power "" . 
i mean , if all it takes is girl power , then why are they only one thread away from bursting out of their skimpy outfits ? 
the film is pg , but really with only some very minor dialogue changes and scene extentions , you'd have yourself one raunchy adult film . 
by the way , there's something in the opening credits which says "" based on an idea by the spice girls "" . 
wow , they got idea credit ! 
i certainly wish that was a new trend in hollywood . . . 
giving credit for simply having the thought "" say girls , let's make a movie ! "" 
the supporting cast fares well . 
roger moore ( the real james bond ) mockingly plays the cliche-spewing "" chief "" of the spice girls , and darn it all , he's fun to watch . 
mark mckenney also is good as a screenwriter trying to pitch film ideas to the band's manager ( richard e . grant ) . 
one question though : george wendt ? 
you'd think that "" spice world "" would envoke one of two reactions in people . 
if you like the spice girls , you'll like them even more afterwards . 
and if you can't stand them ( like me ) , then "" spice world "" will really make you sick . 
oddly , the audience i saw the film with , roughly 50 twelve year-old girls , sat in silence for the entire film . 
well , not the two who sat directly behind me . 
they kept muttering "" this is stupid "" over and over again . 
maybe there is hope for humanity after all . 
[pg] 
"
"-1","i read the new yorker magazine and i enjoy some of their really in-depth articles about some incident . 
they will take some incident like the investigation of a mysterious plane crash and tell you what happened in detail . 
it becomes a real education in what agencies get involved and how theories are suggested , and what kind of pressure the investigators are under , and just about any other aspect you can think of . 
frequently i get the feeling that the article sounded exciting , but i am being told in more detail than i really wanted to know . 
often i get to the middle of a story and say , ok , it sounded good but i now have invested more time than i am willing to spend on this subject . 
film is a different medium . 
it is a visual medium . 
that slows down the telling of stories much more than people realize . 
i frequently am surprised to find out how short a film script is and how much of the pages are empty space . 
the magazine article and the film script are two very different media . 
the insider is a film adaptation of the vanity fair article "" the man who knew too much "" by marie brenner . 
it is too much an adaptation of a magazine article slowed to the pace of a film . 
it really verges on being tedious at least at times . 
for years the seven big companies knew that they dealt in an addictive drug that caused a host of unhealthy side-effects . 
but they pretended for the public that it was unproven and they did not really believe it . 
the business was incredibly profitable and the proceeds translated into the political power to squelch and discredit any political movements against big tobacco . 
the tide turned when a former vice-president of one of the companies was convinced by the cbs 60 minutes news team to tell the public how much the tobacco companies really knew about the health effects of smoking . 
the resulting pressure to stop the story created a small civil war at cbs . 
who were the major people involved , what were their motives , how was the story almost killed , how did it get aired anyway ? 
that is the story covered in surprising detail by the insider . 
this all could have been enthralling , but it is not the sort of thing that a stylist like michael mann would be likely to do well . 
and in the end , he failed . 
to make a long story short , the film needed a director who knew how to make a long story short . 
the film opens with the cbs 60 minutes team in iran with the assignment to interview a terrorist . 
we get a taste for their personal style and how they get the upper hand . 
they go from being one newsman blindfolded at the hands of the terrorists to the actual interview with mike wallace ( played by christopher plummer ) . 
there the news team under producer lowell bergman ( al pacino ) are ordering around the terrorists and getting away with it . 
this seems to have nothing to do with the main line of the story , but later when the tobacco industry is so much harder to manipulate than committed terrorists , we have a wry irony on who really has clout in the world . 
terrorists can grab the headlines , but the tobacco companies have the real position of power . 
incongruously intercut with the iran interview sequence we see jeffrey wigand ( russell crowe ) dejectedly returning from work to his home . 
we discover that he has been fired and his career brought to a complete halt unexpectedly . 
he had been a very profitably rewarded vice-president in charge or research and development at brown and williams tobacco ; now he was unemployed and needed money to support his family . 
rather than support him his wife liane ( diane venora ) demands of him what are they supposed to do for income . 
meanwhile the 60 minutes team trying to do a story on fires started by cigarettes have obtained some data they do not understand . 
they offer wigand $12 , 000 just to interpret the data . 
wigand's severance agreement swears him to secrecy about anything he knows about tobacco dealings , but he is reluctantly he stretches the severance terms . 
he is willing to read some documents from another tobacco company and interpret them for bergman . 
in spite of the secrecy , wigand's former employers seem immediately to know wigand is talking to 60 minutes and he is warned off by former boss thomas sandefur played michael gambon in an all too brief but deliciously sinister role . 
and so the game begins . 
wigand is irate at his negative treatment for what he still considered continued to be loyalty to his agreement and his former employer . 
meanwhile someone is playing very rough with wigand and his family . 
the film examines wigand and the pressures placed on his family as they are caught between two powerful giants . 
wigand has always wanted to make tobacco safer and has natural sympathies with getting the story out . 
he and his family are assaulted psychologically and financially by the giant tobacco industry that had never lost a legal fight . 
al pacino is given top billing but the wigand family is the core of the insider . 
the story is told slowly and in just a bit too much meticulous detail . 
the film is 157 minutes and is an extremely demanding film for the audience . 
the musical score by pieter bourke , lisa gerrard , and graeme revell is one of the worst in recent memory . 
it puts ominous chords under some scenes and using voice in ways that become a distraction that gets in the way of the storytelling . 
also disturbing is the casting of christopher plummer as mike wallace . 
plummer and wallace are such different types and wallace is too well-known for even so good an actor as plummer to play him convincingly . 
this film might have been a really engaging experience under another director's control . 
michael mann was the wrong person to helm this film and the insider lacks intensity because of his style . 
i rate it a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"-1","i should have known , damn it , i should have known . 
ewan mcgregor - codename : "" eye "" - is pointing a high-tech rifle-ly gadget at a fat , bald business-oriented american engaging in illicit sexual activities in a window across the street . 
we get the requisite electro-green through-the-sight view . 
we the audience , seeing a high tech rifle-ly gadget , of course think that eye is going to assassinate the target , but instead , he pulls the trigger and the rifle takes twenty or so hazy , low-quality photographs , which eye then proceeds to fax and e-mail to everyone in his target's office . 
all right , so thirty seconds in , i was slightly befuddled by this seemingly pointless rifle/camera , but i was still open minded . . . 
maybe there's a really good reason for it . 
i've got reason to believe , you see - i admire a lot of ewan mcgregor's previous work . . . 
and he's obi wan ke- friggin-nobi for god's sake . 
and director stephan elliot's last movie priscilla , queen of the desert was a quirky little delight . 
there's some genuine talent involved here . 
i think at the twenty minute mark , there was still a spark of hope in my heart . 
eye has been assigned to investigate the leader of his organization's son ( i still have no idea what this organization was - british intelligence ? 
national spy ring ? 
private investigation ? ) , who is apparently stealing from his trust fund . 
he has received his assignment from k . d . 
lang , through an elaborate and expensive teleconferencing briefcase . 
when eye tracks his target to an expensive- looking secluded house , he witnesses a mysterious and beautiful woman ( ashley judd ) take a knife out and proceed to stab the poor bastard . 
ok , that's odd , i think to myself , this could be interesting . 
then she starts to cry , and through her tears exclaims "" merry christmas , dad ! "" 
for the first time . 
so begins our tale of obsession . . . 
or . . . something . 
the rest of the movie involves ewan mcgregor's eye character following ashley judd around to every corner of the united states , totally and completely obsessed by this woman from afar . 
throughout his entire professional life , he has been a voyeur ; so when he falls for someone , the only way he can handle it is to watch and drool through telescopes and cameras . 
fine , that's a lovely premise , i suppose . 
but gosh darn it , if you're going to go there , you better have some sort of explanation . 
and that's precisely where this film fails . 
this is the kind of movie that pisses me off . 
it's an abortion , a collection of half-formed and wasted ideas that amounts to absolutely nothing in the end . 
it pretends it is something that it is not - a surreal and deep psychological character study wrapped in a high-tech thriller . 
here , the filmmakers have confused "" surreal "" and "" deep "" with "" vaguely unclear "" and "" crammed full of insultingly obvious metaphors . "" 
i never , even for an instant , had the foggiest idea why eye would fall so in "" love "" with this woman who changes wigs and kills people . 
the movie offers only two explanations , neither of which make a lick of sense . 
explanation number one : the obnoxious presence of eye's imaginary daughter , who was taken away from him by his wife some time ago , tells him he shouldn't leave ms . judd . 
explanation two , which by the end of the film has been beaten into our heads through imagery and dialog and even the title of the movie : "" beauty is in the eye of the beholder . "" 
whoo hoo , that helps , thanks a bunch , case closed . 
that's as deep as it gets , folks . 
there is an attempt at an explanation in the final minutes , which , instead of tying everything together , ends up being as profound as a clever sixth-grade mad lib . 
there are secondary characters that move in and out of the picture and serve little or no purpose except to make the audience wonder what the hell the point was . 
my personal favorites include : the prison-matron modeled after austin powers' frau farbissina , who apparently taught ms . judd everything she knows about wearing wigs ; jason priestley's awfully played dirty desert vagrant #1 , who tries to emulate dennis hopper a la blue velvet , but fails miserably ; and the cop-who-sees-ashley-fleeing-an-accident-scene-and- then-wants-to-pay-for-sex- but-is-shot . 
each one in this sad little parade is a little more pointless than the last . 
the script pays no attention to the laws of time and space . 
any time one of the frequent location changes occurs , the camera zooms in on a souvenir snow globe , and minutes , weeks , or years could have passed . 
bewilderingly inane stylistic decisions plague the whole affair - one character passes a glass of cognac to another in a slow-motion close-up awash in a lot of bass . 
ewan mcgregor at one point takes up residence in a bell tower just so he could be repeatedly awakened and deafened by the giant bell . 
jason priestly starts philosophizing about sharks , then laughs maniacally . . . 
cut to random guy with eye patch . . . 
iguana out of focus . . . 
iguana comes into focus . 
wow , man . 
when i found out afterward that this film was based on a novel , it came as no surprise to me . 
there are plenty of elements here that , if extended and fleshed out more , would have made for a decent story . 
and i wouldn't be surprised if i found out there was an hour and a half of footage cut from this movie lying in a landfill somewhere , or waiting in the wings for the dvd special director's cut . . . 
not that anything would ever possess me to purchase such a thing to find out what i was missing . 
the last ten or so minutes featured a conversation between the eye and the judd that was supposed to be some sort of revealing exposition . 
some guy in the back of the theater was talking on his cell phone , and this time i didn't particularly care all that much because what was happening on the screen was a steaming pile of unholy crap ; the audience around me chuckled and whispered sentiments similar to what i was thinking . 
someone near cell-phone-guy did eventually yell , "" shut the hell up ! "" , but it was a lot funnier when we thought he was talking to the screen . 
"
"-1","as bad as "" mimic "" was , it definitly scared me . 
 "" mimic "" continued the frightening hollywood trend of taking a foreign director who shows a lot of creative ingenuity and style , and completely flushing it when he comes to america to make a movie . 
director guillermo del toro was recently imported from mexico after he made the award winning and inventive horror film "" cronos . "" 
that movie worked because it took an unconventional story , unique characters and well written plot and dialogue to create a truly scary movie . 
in "" mimic "" , del toro doesn't bother to give us anything original . 
the plot is a stupid combination of "" aliens "" meets "" species "" meets "" jurassic park . "" 
the characters have been recycled from a few hundred other movies . 
there's nothing new in "" mimic "" . 
it's just a bunch of old tricks that rarely work . 
at the end of the movie , you're stuck wanting your money back . 
maybe the worst thing about the movie is that del toro followed another annoying trend of recent movies : he forgot to turn the lights on . 
i don't understand why suspense movies lately have to follow the "" seven "" trend and be set in dark , dank areas . 
watching "" mimic "" i was tempted several times to yell at the screen "" turn the lights on ! 
the switch is to your right ! 
use common sense ! 
just do it ! 
you'll be able to see the monster in the corner ! "" 
there's a scene where mira sorvino is standing in subway station while the lights are flickering on and off . 
it looked like the light operator was having a seizure , and sorvino didn't even notice - she just stood there looking like she was having deep thoughts . 
 "" hmmm . . . . 
i think bean soup would be good for dinner tonight . "" 
 "" mimic "" has a lot of incidental shock tactics ( boo ! 
just kidding ! ) and follows them up with the real scare , but nothing in this movie scares you . 
the audience in the theater never jumped during suspenseful moments ; i think they were bored , too . 
i shouldn't blame del toro . 
he isn't the first successful foreign director to come to hollywood and make a bad movie . 
hong kong director john woo made two of the best action films of all time , "" the killer "" and "" hard boiled "" then came to america to make the stupid "" broken arrow . "" 
french directors luc besson ( "" la femme nikita "" ) and george sluizer ( "" the vanishing "" ) followed woo's lead and made dumbed down versions of those movies . 
robert rodriguez , who directed the terrific low budget "" el mariachi "" came to hollywood and directed the horrible , high-budget "" desperado . "" 
i don't know why a foreign director who shows such talent in his country can't make a good american movie . 
woo finally broke through and made "" face/off "" , but it still isn't up to par with his earlier films . 
i get the feeling a hollywood producer sits in his office , chews on a big smelly cigar and says to the director , "" welcome to america ! 
i bet you must be tired after being on that boat for so long . 
do you speak english ? 
now , i know you think you've made good movies in the past , but now you're in america , so things are a little different here . 
just remember what the american audience always wants , and you'll be fine . 
they want to see at least one big breasted woman , characters that they've seen a thousand times before ( because change scares americans ) , and you always need a cheesy feel-good ending to wrap things up . 
if you don't make that kind of movie , you'll be shining my shoes in no time . "" 
"
"-1","darren ( jason biggs ) , wayne ( steve zahn ) , and j . d . ( jack black ) have been best friends since the fifth grade . 
like the three musketeers , they've been together through thick and thin . 
but , when darren meets an attractive , but cold-blooded and manipulative , psychiatrist , judith ( amanda peet ) , the long time friendship is placed in danger . 
it's up to wayne and j . d . to rescue their best friend in "" saving silverman . "" 
 "" silverman "" has its heart in the right place , but the story , by newcomers hank nelken and greg depaul , is too lightweight to sustain the tale of the battle for darren's soul . 
based on their experience of a friend making a major marital mistake , the story is centered on the three , life long amigos . 
when wayne introduces darren to judith , he doesn't realize that he has opened a pandora's box of disaster for himself and j . d . judith was once in a relationship where her boyfriend was the dominant figure until he died in a kick boxing match . 
since then , she has sought a new mate - someone she can boss around and mold into her own vision . 
enter darren silverman . 
once they realize the magnitude of their error in judgement , wayne and j . d . try everything they can , including threats and bribery , to get judith to free darren . 
nothing works until the duo come up with a plan - kidnap judith and get darren back together with the girl he called his one and only , pretty sandy perkus ( amanda detmer ) . 
the only problem here is that sandy is about to take her vows to become a nun . 
things spiral out of control as judith repeatedly attempts to escape while wayne and j . d . play cupid . 
the boys even bring their idol , neil diamond , into the picture to help resolve things . 
thinking about it , this is a real mishmash of contrivance and coincidence that is held together solely by the comedic efforts of steve zahn and jack black . 
the pair is able to elicit the film's only laughs with their goofy antics and child-like behavior . 
they are relegated to providing slapstick guy humor and the two are more than equal to the task . 
steve zahn has been steadily honing his comedic acting skills and gives some complexity to wayne , the "" brains "" of the gang . 
jack black has the big-guy moves of a chris farley , giving j . d . an amusing physical presence . 
the neat thing is that the two actors are able to get fresh laughs from stale material . 
the rest of the cast doesn't fare as well , though . 
jason biggs is the straight man of the musketeers and gets very little to do ; though having watched his previous films ( "" american pie "" and "" loser "" ) i'm not sure what attraction biggs actually has . 
amanda peet is caustic as the manipulative judith . 
there is no humanity at all to her character as she single-mindedly strives to recreate darren into her mind's image . 
she's a monster that wayne and j . d . must defeat to save their friend . 
unfortunately , there is no dimension to her character . 
amanda detmer brings nothing ( or gets nothing ) as darren's one and only . 
r . lee ermey , as the psychotic coach , made a bad decision taking this role . 
tune-meister neil diamond gives a good-natured cameo perf as the boys' idol and savior . 
production values are on par with the rest of the film - lackluster and non-involving . 
director dennis dugan has a track record for broad comedy with films like "" big daddy "" and "" beverly hills ninja , "" but falls flat with "" saving silverman . "" 
the 2001 movie year has yet to provide us with a "" good "" film to sink our teeth into . 
at least , with "" saving silverman , "" we get a couple of funny perfs from zahn and black . 
too bad that the rest of the film lacks their level of humor . 
kick boxing deaths and conflicted nuns are not the makings of a good comedy . 
i give it a c- . 
"
"-1"," "" an intimate , character-driven drama about a troubled youth at a crossroads in his life , "" read the press notes for _reach_the_rock_ . 
i'm not really sure what film that statement is describing because those words bear little resemblance to the slow , completely uninvolving bore i saw--at least , it certainly does not describe what goes on for most of the film . 
alessandro nivola plays robin fleming , a troubled , directionless 21-year-old who has a penchant for breaking storefront windows in a small town . 
police sergeant phil quinn ( william sadler ) takes him in , and what ensues for the first 70 minutes is a tedious series of sneak-outs and sneak-ins where robin slips out of his jail cell , breaks a window , then returns , all without quinn ever noticing . 
also added to the pointless proceedings is some would-be humorous shenanigans involving quinn's dimwitted deputy ernie attempting to engage in clandestine patrol car sex with his girlfriend donna ( karen sillas ) . 
with a half hour ( if even that long ) remaining , director william ryan and writer john hughes ( yes , john hughes of '80s youth films and _home_alone_ ) finally approach something close to a point . 
turns out robin still pines for his high school sweetheart lise ( brooke langton ) , who has long gone on with her life , and hughes's main concern at long last reveals itself as a tired "" live in the present and for the future "" message . 
most moviegoers , however , will likely be asleep by that time . 
wide awake , however , is the cast , who individually tackle their showcase dramatic scenes with energy and skill--thus revealing the _real_ purpose behind this listless enterprise : to serve as a series of acting exercises . 
such a glorified workshop may have its rewards for the actors , but it leaves audiences with a booby prize . 
 ( opens october 16 ) 
"
"-1","vampire's is a rude , chauvinistic movie where women are portrayed as pawns of abuse , present only to pleasure men , feed vampires , readied to be bashed or beaten - till one's sensibilities is shocked by the low iq and mentality of this regressive movie . 
to make matters worse , the buffoons that go hunting vampires are all rednecks , and deserve to have their heads bitten off , if not , their bodies carved in half . 
the dilemma of hating the ? heroes' as much as the ? villains' , makes one wish that the ? hand of god' would suddenly appear and blast both parties into oblivion . 
james wood portrays jack crow , a man obsessed with killing vampires , whose soul reason for living is based on revenge ( they killed his parents ) , but this is not a good excuse for being more obnoxious than the vampires . 
as for adam baldwin , he is nothing more than a stooge who is ordered to beat women when the director shouts ? action' , and the script should have been reworked to avoid much offence against the female sex . 
as for the claims that the catholic church created ? dracula' , well that is the second most sacrilegious suggestion , outside the fact that priests and monks bear the brunt of the vampire fury , with enough blood spilt to make the inquisition look tame . 
an awful movie on all counts , my suggestion is to bring back buffy and bury this group of incompetent , rude vampire slayers . 
"
"-1","synopsis : blond criminal psychologist sarah chooses to copulate with greasy tony the mysterious puerto rican rather than bearded cliff the wisecracking neighbor upstairs . 
in the meantime , someone sends sarah rotting flowers , puts her name in the newspaper's obituary column , and kills her cat . 
comments : never talk to strangers , a colossal waste of time , moves slower than molasses in winter to arrive at a conclusion which should be obvious to the audience 20 minutes into the film . 
one wouldn't think that two genuine movie stars , antonio banderas ( evita ) and rebecca de mornay ( hand that rocks the cradle ) , and the acerbic comic genius dennis miller ( "" saturday night live "" ) would be involved in such a celluloid backfire as this turkey . 
not only are they in it , however , but de mornay executive produced it . 
what was she thinking ? 
never talk to strangers centers upon sarah , a psychologist examining the ill-tempered max , a murderer soon to stand trial . 
she receives a sudden visit from her father which elicits flashbacks of some tragedy in her early childhood . 
two men woo her ; tony the "" security consultant "" wins her over ( so they have passionate sex replete with cheesy saxophone music ) . 
a lot of psychobabble is thrown around about multiple personality disorder , but the movie asks its audience not to derive the obvious conclusion between mpd and sarah , and instead offers several male characters as red herrings . 
86 minutes , the running time of this cinematic mess , thus , seem like 86 hours . 
a good chunk of never talk to strangers is spent upon sarah and tony . 
why would the career-minded , professional sarah feel attracted to the walking steroid with a black hat called tony ? 
that's one of the film's mysteries which are never answered . 
regardless of motive , de mornay and banderas strip down and have sex several times in what passes for eroticism . 
they also manage to go out before copulating occasionally -- in one of the stupidest scenes of the film , tony takes sarah to a carnival that's * right outside * his dingy apartment ( that way , they can hurry back and have sex quickly ) . 
also , apparently , the weather changes quickly in their locale : they're at this outdoor carnival one day before having sex ; the next day , they're out playing in the snow before having sex . 
the filmmakers attempt to produce a suspenseful plot interspersed with tony and sarah's "" character development . "" 
someone is out to get poor sarah ( though most of the audience should have figured out who before any of this starts ) . 
rotting flowers , a writeup in the obituary , and a beaten neighbor are just a few of the bad things which happen to her . 
suspense cliche number one also occurs : whenever someone is stalked in thrillers , by any means , if the stalked has a pet , that pet will die . 
oftentimes , to even further the cliche , the murdered pet is a cat ( suspense filmmakers , for some reason , just don't like cats ) . 
sarah , in never talk to strangers , receives a package and , lo and behold , discovers her mutilated cat within . 
suspense at its very derivative ! 
as stated before , never talk to strangers is a poor excuse for a film whose sole purpose seems to be exploiting banderas and de mornay's bodies as often as possible . 
comedian dennis miller is completely wasted here ( he's not given lines that are suitable for his persona ) and doesn't even appear all that much . 
maybe , in a way , he's lucky for that . 
early on in the movie , sarah tells tony , after meeting him in a supermarket , that she had been advised to never talk to strangers . 
allow me to advise that you never watch this stinker . 
"
"-1","a sensuous romantic comedy , about as appealing as your average lightweight tv sitcom . 
there is no special ingredient on the menu for what is dished out , its the kind of stuff i've seen before and was made nauseous by its silly idea of love and what it thinks is funny . 
the film plans to exploit the beauty and sweetness of its delicious star pen ? lope cruz , who plays a brazilian chef with a magical touch for bringing out the spices in her preparations , the aromas just sensually waft from her cooking pot , but who can't get by on looks alone in this transparently predictable story . 
pen ? lope was wonderful in pedro almod ? var's "" all about my mother , "" but here she is so visible in such a stale story , where she can only smile and tease the audience by having us see a constant barrage of cleavage shots as she bends when cooking , that she somehow looks ridiculous , as if she got egg all over her face . 
the best you can say about her , is that she's not to blame for this picture being so off . 
this exploitation of sex film without even delivering nudity or sex , is in my opinion , worst than a raunchy film that delivers what it says it will . 
the story is all about the love , motion sickness , and cooking ability of isabella ( cruz ) , who is born in bahia , brazil and learns to cook at an early age from her parents' cook . 
to cure her motion sickness , her parents tried every remedy , until they went to a spiritualist who prayed to the goddess of the sea for her cure . 
she is able to control it now as long as she doesn't drive a car , ride elevators , follow in dancing , and is the woman on top when making love . 
in other words , she has to be in control of things . 
in her small fishing town she falls in love with a handsome macho latin waiter , toninho oliveira ( murilo ben ? cio ) and marries him . 
they open up a successful restaurant , where she slaves away in the kitchen but he gets all the credit for it , even though he's a loafer . 
one night she catches him in bed with another girl and decides to leave for san francisco . 
we don't see her in flight , so i can't tell how she handled her motion sickness problem -- unless she flew the plane . 
she visits her friend's apartment monica ( harold perrineau jr . ) , who is a cross-dresser , blending right into the san francisco scene . 
to cast away her love for the irresistible toninho , she calls her spiritualist friend and gets her to cast an irreversible spell , freeing her from ever loving him again . 
her luck changes when a local tv producer cliff ( mark feurerstein ) gets a whiff of her cooking and storms into her cooking class as if were in a spell and presents her with her own live tv cooking show . 
you can really write the script from here on by yourself . . . as the despondent toninho begins to realize what a good thing he had , but things continue to go bad for him : there is a curse he caused on the fishing in his village , there is no chef to replace his wife , as the restaurant is about to close for good . 
so he comes to san francisco , figuring he can charm her again . 
he brings along with him his guitar playing musicians , the ones he used when courting her , when he serenaded her under her window . 
he sees his wife on tv with monica as her sidekick , the yuppie tv producer chasing after her , and sees that she is no longer charmed by him . 
when he sneaks on her tv show set and tries to woo her with his musical group and him singing corny love songs to her , the ratings go up and he's hired as a regular on the show . 
the show gets so big , that the network honchos come onboard , taking it national . 
but they want to change the ethnic flavor of the show , get rid of monica because he's a freak , have isabella cook with tabasco instead of the brazilian peppers she uses , and they change her ethnic dresses to low-cut vanna white type of sexy dresses . 
cliff , her would-be boyfriend , acts creepy and sides with the network big-shots , even though he loved everything she did . 
these tv scenes were not only bad stereotype scenes of tv honchos , they were revolting . 
it was an insult to one's intelligence . 
i'm sure that i'm not spoiling the ending for anyone , when i tell you that toninho reforms his macho ways and together they cook up a meal that breaks her spell of loving him again . 
if the film wasn't terrible enough , monica and cliff act on their attraction for each other and become lovers . 
it was so awkwardly done , that it had no sense of truth or humor to it . 
this film might as well have been made by the same network guys featured in this film , because it doesn't look or feel like an almod ? var film , the type of film it aspired to be , but more like a film that was interferred with from above . 
its more like a futile commercial film that is more annoying than charming and more dull than chic , as it searches for box office heaven . 
"
"-1","let me just start this review off by saying i am a huge fan of professional wrestling and have been for fifteen years . 
i am not too fond of ted turner's world championship wrestling , however , and i am even less fond of it now after seeing this ridiculous excuse for a wrestling movie tonight . 
the plot concerns two losers named gordie boggs ( david arquette , aptly cast as a neandrathal ) and sean dawkins ( scott caan ) who are so obsessed with professional wrestling that they believe everything they see on wcw monday nitro is something more than a flashy show . 
when they finally get to see their hero , wcw world champion jimmy king ( played by oliver platt . 
i personally would have gotten a wrestler to play king ) , he ends up getting screwed over by evil promoter titus sinclair ( a wasted palitaliano , in a role originally meant for real-life wcw president eric bischoff before he was fired and rehired six months later , and if anyone reads this who knows bischoff , they will agree with me that the role of sinclair had his name written all over it ) , they embark on a quest to find him and help him get his title back . 
when they find him , they discover in horror that jimmy king's real life is nothing like it is on wcw tv . 
king is a drunken atlanta native rather than an english king . 
after convincing king that they don't care that his persona isn't real , gordie and sean sneak him back onto wcw monday nitro , after which sinclair agrees to book him in a main event steel cage match for the wcw title and his job back in las vegas at wcw's pay-per-view . 
gee , whiz , there are so many things wrong with this movie , i don't know where to begin . 
yes , i do . . . 
1 . the characters of gordie and sean show you what eric bischoff , wcw president who thought up this project , thinks of wrestling fans . 
he thinks of us as idiots who take everything wrestlers do seriously . 
he actually thinks wrestling fans are dumb enough to believe this is meant to be taken seriously . 
i got news for you , eric : nobody above the age of four is dumb enough for that , this is 2000 , you know , not 1985 ! 
i know he'll probably cover arguments up by saying it isn't meant to be taken seriously but it is , because that's how big an ego bischoff has . 
2 . there was a documentary made in 1998 , wrestling with shadows , that documented the owner of the world wrestling federation , vince mcmahon's screwing bret "" the hitman "" hart out of the title . 
this movie's storyline is basically a comic rip-off of that plot with the poor man's wayne and garth thrown in . 
eric bischoff is trying to make vince mcmahon look bad with the character of titus sinclair , but any wrestling fan knows titus is more like bischoff than mcmahon , and that vince did what he had to do to bret hart . 
3 . 
the movie's main wrestler , jimmy king , has an english king gimmick and the audience cheered big for him . 
no wrestling fan actually enjoys characters like that in this day and age , we want bad asses today ! 
4 . why make this a comedy , instead of an emotional , rocky-style drama ? 
i know wrestling isn't a sport , but you can still get behind a guy who struggles as a wrestler and finally makes it in the end . 
5 . 
in the movie , gordie starts up an ill-fated romance with nitro girl sasha ( the lovely rose mcgowan . 
what she sees in that freak marilyn manson i'll never understand ) , only to find that she has hospitalized king's trainer for sinclair . 
wouldn't it have been easier to just have them fall in love instead of doing the typical spy-girl-for-the-bad-guy cliche ? 
i hate that . 
6 . 
last , but certainly not least , there was not one single moment in this movie that i could not predict would happen , nor did i laugh once either . 
the world wrestling federation should have been the wrestling company to make the movie , for these reasons : 
1 . they're the better promotion . 
2 . they have better and younger talent , performers and wrestlers . 
3 . 
they give their fans what they want and don't treat them like idiots . 
4 . they're winning the ratings and they're the promotion everybody cares about . 
5 . simply put , they could make a movie a hundred times better , and they could do a wrestling movie the right way . 
the only good thing about this movie was they played outtakes at the end . 
and if i spoiled it for you , good , i saved you from wasting seven dollars . 
"
"-1","battlefield long , boring and just plain stupid 
battlefield earth 
a film review by michael redman copyright 2000 by michael redman 
in my mid-teen years , i had a horrendous re-occurring nightmare . 
behind the wheel of a car , i was driving down a straight road in the middle of a desert . 
no scenery except the horizon line and the converging parallel lines of the highway . 
no matter what i did , the view didn't change : travelling but not getting anywhere . 
each time i awoke in a sweat , terrified . 
you don't have to be carl jung to understand that dream . 
powerless to make changes , trapped in a boring situation with no hope of rescue , this is the stuff of nightmares whether we are asleep or awake . 
this is exactly how you will feel 15 minutes after "" battlefield earth "" begins . 
for all of its flash and style , l . ron hubbard's science fiction epic is the earliest and best entry for the dullest summer film of 2000 . 
dull "" and "" stupid . 
in the year 3000 , the psychlo aliens have ruled our planet for 1 , 000 years . 
humans either work as slave labor in mining operations or live as barbarians . 
there's no hope . 
the future is bleak . 
then the psychlo make a mistake and capture feisty jonnie goodboy tyler ( barry pepper ) who organizes a revolution against chief of security terl ( john travolta ) and the alien race . 
it's an archetypal post-apocalyptic plot full of promise . 
considering some of the talent involved and all the millions thrown at the screen , it's difficult to see how it could have failed so miserably . 
but it does . 
the story is so full of holes that it falls apart within minutes of the opening credits . 
are we really supposed to believe that after a millennium of looking for gold , the psychlo never discovered fort knox ? 
or that fighter planes are still in pristine condition after all that time -- and gassed up ? 
or that the cavemen become such expert pilots in seven days that they can easily down the advanced alien ships ? 
or that the psychlo spy cameras somehow don't notice that their slaves are missing for days ? 
travolta prances across the screen hamming it up for all he's worth and is almost entertaining . 
almost . 
the rest of the actors are wooden mannequins trying not to laugh while delivering lines that no person -- "" man-animal "" or not -- would ever utter . 
some of the film _looks_ good , but it also looks so familiar . 
a race of large hulking ape-like creatures has taken over the world while our cities lie in ruin . 
sound like something charlton heston might be in ? 
the psychlo look like overweight klingons in gear from "" dune "" . 
the final air battle between the air force fighters and the psychlo ships in their high-tech city is something george lucas might have been associated with . 
it's too loud . 
it's too oppressive . 
it's too slow . 
it's too long . . . far 
too long . 
and on it goes . 
the list of the problems with "" battlefield earth "" is endless . 
it's difficult to find anything in the film that does work . 
oh yeah . 
the color scheme is nice . 
the real question is how this movie ever got made . 
could it have something to do with the fact that l . ron hubbard was the founder of scientology ? 
and that john travolta is a member of the church . 
that might explain why travolta bought the rights to the novel years ago . 
but it doesn't give us a clue as to why first-time screenwriter corey mandell's atrocious script was used . 
or why the high-profile project was entrusted with roger christian who had never before directed a major film . 
or why no one looked at this thing before it was released and realized there might be problems . 
the one bright spot is that no longer will kevin costner's "" the postman "" ( which i begrudgingly admit as a guilty pleasure ) be "" the "" big budget science fiction failure . 
 "" battlefield earth "" has the honor sewed up . 
often reviewers will recommend that you skip mediocre films and wait for the video . 
that's not the case here . 
you can act now and make the decision to not see it on the big screen or on the small one . 
don't hesitate . 
strike now while the iron is cold . 
"
"-1","hey , i've got a great idea for a movie ! 
ok , here it is : we'll get tim allen to pull angry faces for about two hours or so ! 
what's that ? 
sounds too boring ? 
ok , how about this then : we still have tim allen pull faces for about two hours , but half of them are angry looks and half of them are "" i'm in pain ! "" 
looks ! 
what's that ? 
that still doesn't sound funny to you ? 
how about if we through in some "" ewwwww ! "" 
looks ? 
still not funny ? 
if you answered "" no , that doesn't sound funny "" , then ( ding ding ding ! ) 
you're absolutely correct ! 
for richer or poorer is a moronic farce about a rich married couple ( played by tim allen and kirstie alley ) who seek refuge in an amish community after their bumbling accountant ( wayne knight , best know as newman on tv's "" seinfeld "" ) gets them in trouble for tax evasion . 
what ensues is a badly scripted and horribly directed 114 minutes of cinema hell . 
what makes this all wrong is that nobody seems to have what the film needs . 
 . 
 . 
namely , talent ! 
backing up , the married couple is brad and caroline sexton ( allen and alley ) , a popular snobby duo who seem totally in love to everyone else , but in reality are on the brink of divorce . 
just as their marriage seems to be hanging from it's final thread , brad discovers that his accountant , bob lachman ( knight ) , has been engaging in illegitimate deals in the sexton's names . 
the irs catches on , but since everything points back to the sexton's and not lachman , there is nothing much to do . 
 . 
 . 
except run away and join an amish community . 
first time screenwriters jana howington and steve lukanic give us a couple of chuckle-out-loud moments , and even some decent laughs here and * way * over there , but there is so much to cringe at in this horribly made film that you'll likely miss the laughs while regurgitating popcorn . 
alley is absolutely unwatchable , and the chemistry between her and allen is about as believable as my chemistry homework from tenth grade ( which , i inform you , was total b . s . ) . 
allen and alley are in no way convincing as tycoons , nor are they very convincing as an amish couple ! 
this entire movie is one bad ill-conceived notion that should have been curtailed from the very beginning ! 
the amish in this movie are also flimsy and unconvincing . 
it's such a trite , stereotypical script that i imagine the actors that were cast ( noticing that they're all predominantly tv figures ) were probably the only ones they could get ! 
bryan spicer's directing doesn't help one bit , either . 
in fact , listing spicer's filmography ( which includes the first "" power rangers "" movie and the big screen adaption of mchale's navy ) is more of an insult than a r ? sum ? ! 
now that i've pretty much run for richer or poorer into the ground , i will let you in on the best thing about it . 
it bumped seven films up a notch on my "" worst of "" 1997 movie list . 
that's right , thanks to this film ranking at number 3 for the year's worst , six films are now not seemingly as bad , and a smile like yours , previously inhabiting the number ten spot , now doesn't have to suffer the ridicule of making my bottom ten list . 
if you look at it in that respect , for richer or poorer will end up making someone happy after all ! 
"
"-1","even the best comic actor is at the mercy of his or her material , as this subpar submarine comedy proves . 
down periscope stars kelsey "" frasier "" grammer as an inept navy captain who is given command of his own ship as part of a corrupt officer's ( james coburn ) plan to get him out of the navy . 
like any lame emsemble comedy , the officer assigns him to a group of misfits like the guy who wants to be kicked out , the fat guy who eats all the time , the beautiful woman who doesn't belong there ( lauren holly ) , the second-in-command who does everything by the book ( rob schneider ) , the crazy old guy who freaks everyone out ( harry dean stanton ) and so on . 
then comes the transparent plotline . 
first grammer has to fix up the delapidated korean war ship the navy has given him , and that comes courtesy a sad sight gag montage that includes a guy with a mop knocking schneider overboard . 
after the ship is fixed up come the early drills , where everyone seems completely inept , like the electrician who can't connect wires so instead lets the current run through himself every time grammer gets on the phone . 
finally , and this covers the final hour of the movie , grammer has to lead his men ( and holly ) to overcome the other ships in a wargames exercise . 
and he has to be a clever rebel to do it , in scenes that stretch all levels of believability . 
first they're singing "" louie louie "" like a bunch of drunk sailors to throw the radar of the other ship off , then thirty minutes later , they're making whale mating noises to throw the radar of the other ship off . 
the whole while , evil captain coburn is overacting underwater , cursing grammer ( as most people watching the movie probably are too ) . 
it's all predictable without any original humor to redeem it . 
the jokes are right out of "" mchale's navy "" and other cut-rate sitcoms of the past . 
there's one scene where schneider looks through the ship's pantry in disgust , holds one food can up and announces , "" this expired in 1966 ! "" 
i yelled back at the screen , "" so did these jokes . "" 
i watched this movie with the whole family and everyone hated it . 
my mom was so bored she brought out the coupon book midway through and , around the start of the second hour , i started writing my will . 
the blame can't really be placed on the stars , though . 
kelsey grammer is good in this , he just doesn't have anything to work with . 
his character is said to have gotten so drunk one night that he had "" welcome aboard "" tatooed on his penis . 
grammer probably did something even worse -- got really drunk and agreed to appear in a movie he knew nothing about . 
same for holley ( save the penis part ) , who is likeable in down periscope just because she's so gorgeous . 
as for schneider ( whose character is downright annoying ) , there was nowhere to go but up after surf ninjas , although he's still in the depths of the comedy ocean after jumping the "" snl "" ship . 
my theory is that down periscope is one of those movies that got the green light before the script was even written as a formula comedy ( "" okay , it's police academy in the navy with frasier at the helm and the chick from dumb and dumber . "" ) and after everyone was signed on turned into a disaster . 
judging from the video box , most other movie critics agree with me . 
the only quote the down periscope copy writers could dig up came from the prevue channel's jim ferguson . 
i guess even jeff craig from "" 60 second preview "" ( who said tank girl "" kicks butt ! "" 
without ever seeing it ) didn't like this . 
"
"-1","movies don't come much more ridiculously titled than "" i still know what you did last summer , "" but since the movie in question is best described as ridiculous , the title sort of works as a warning . 
more than a silly-sounding mouthful to blurt out to the ticket vendor , this horror sequel's moniker also contains a grievous oversight that anyone who saw the original will be able to spot : what "" you "" did _last_ summer "" you "" actually did the summer _before_ last summer , and since "" i "" knew about it _this_ summer as well as _last_ summer , it's really illogical to say that "" i "" _still_ know what "" you "" did _last_ summer . 
the filmmakers would have at least made sense with the shorter "" i still know , "" the longer "" i still know what you did two summers ago "" or the appropriate "" stupid people getting hacked to bits . "" 
that last suggestion is the preferable one since the characters in this film do things that are the polar opposite of smart . 
for example , if your roommate is plagued by terrible nightmares as a result of being stalked and nearly murdered not long ago , would you sneak into her room late at night and hide in the closet , even if it was just to locate and borrow a cute little dress ? 
probably not , but that's precisely what college student karla ( pop diva brandy ) does to best friend julie ( jennifer love hewitt ) , resulting in the first in a long line of phony frights . 
julie , you'll recall , was one of the sole survivors at the end of 1997's surprise hit "" i know what you did last summer , "" after a slasher with a grudge to bear - it's a _long_ story - began trying to pick off her , her buddies and various others in their coastal carolina village . 
in this installment , the plot picks up as karla wins a trip to the bahamas , and julie , yet racked by guilt , decides that maybe a tropical getaway will help ease her mind . 
yeah , right . 
their island paradise has room , of course , for one more in the form of the still-alive killer ( muse watson ) from the first film . 
he sports the same gorton's fisherman get-up , a heavy hat and rain slicker that mask his identity , but why he's still trying to stay anonymous is a mystery this movie never solves . . . 
though i suppose his hook-hand would look funny protruding from the sleeve of a leisure suit . 
in a sense , that's the movie's glaring flaw - everybody knows who the bad guy is , thus evaporating the level of paranoid tension nicely sustained by its prequel . 
the murders and attempted murders in that film were vivid and scary , but trey callaway's derivative "" i still know "" screenplay makes the fisherman just as dumb as his pretty potential victims . 
when julie lays blissfully unaware in a tanning bed , giving him a perfect chance to wreak vengeance once and for all , what does he do ? 
he twist-ties the lid shut and cranks up the uv rays - you'd think he'd want her gutted now instead of a skin cancer victim later . 
even prequel "" summer "" lovers might balk at how little there is here beyond sporadically amusing absurdity and a few neat-o shots of blood flowing from toned teenage flesh . 
the innovative gallows humor that scribe ( and "" scream "" wunderkind ) kevin williamson injected into "" i know "" 's unfolding story is sorely missed , replaced with the grating antics of a white rastafarian cabana boy who smokes weed and tosses off slang like "" yo "" ; you'll cheer - not shriek - when he ends up with a pair of hedgetrimmers firmly implanted in his chest . 
if "" i know what you did last summer , "" however effective , was just the kind of movie that those subversive "" scream "" flicks poked fun at , then the deadly "" i still know what you did last summer "" deserves a full-blown roasting on "" mystery science theatre 3000 . "" 
"
"-1","synopsis : a humorless police officer's life changes when he befriends a super-smart , super-adorable golden retriever named einstein and a cute , young blond scientist . 
unfortunately , einstein shares a psychic link with a bigfoot-sized ape-creature trained by the blond scientist to be an unstoppable killing machine , and this rogaine-nightmare is loose and after the dog and the girl . 
meanwhile , a group of white , chain-smoking , gun-toting nsa agents in sunglasses and business suits tries to kill all the other characters in the movie . 
comments : watchers reborn , a cheaply made direct-to-video turkey , is the fourth sequel to the first film version of dean koontz's bestselling novel watchers . 
technically , this should have been called watchers v , but it seems that this cycle of horror movies , much like many other sequel-crazy film series , has decided to drop the numbers from the titles . 
 ( even the star trek movies dropped the numbers from their titles after star trek vi . ) 
the makers of watchers reborn probably want to fool unsuspecting video rental customers into thinking this might be a good movie instead of a crappy fifth installment of a film series which should have died a long time ago . 
this really isn't a good movie . 
have you ever rented a movie and recieved a sinking feeling about it when you watched the previews preceding the feature presentation ? 
well , any hope a viewer may have had , perhaps because he is a fan of novelist dean koontz or actor mark hamill , will be dashed by the time he's seen the trailers tagged on before the beginning of watchers reborn . 
they're awful . 
these commercials cover films like a strange stripper movie called shadow dancer , some weird crap about a dead indian , teens , and wolves , and an "" action "" movie called detonator starring scott baio . 
scott baio ! 
what idiot dreamed this movie up ? 
after surviving these abysmal trailers , the person finally gets to watch the movie he rented : watchers reborn . 
 "" maybe it won't be * that * bad "" he may say to himself . 
 "" perhaps , just perhaps , the bottom-of-the-barrel film fluff advertised before it is greatly misleading . 
watchers reborn , after all , is based on that cool book dean koontz wrote a decade ago . 
it stars mark hamill -- luke skywalker himself from that terrific star wars trilogy . 
lou rawls is even in the mix ! "" 
unfortunately , the force is certainly no longer with mark hamill ( he looks very sick here ) , and this movie shares only basic plot elements with watchers , the book . 
the latter is really too bad . 
koontz is a hack writer producing way too many thrillers for his own good , but he is still my favorite hack writer . 
koontz has a writing style which is succinct and suspenseful . 
people who read many of his books , however , often complain of repetitive plot devices . 
it's definately not a koontz book if there isn't ( 1 ) a psychic , ( 2 ) a super-intelligent dog , or ( 3 ) a psychotic killer who likes ripping out people's eyeballs . 
watchers has all three devices , which may explain why it's arguably the most popular of koontz's books . 
the idea behind koontz's novel , though highly implausible , is very interesting . 
basically , a biological war machine is created : a smart dog can be released in battle , track down its target , and then relay the target's position , psychically , to a large creature designed to kill in hand-to-hand combat . 
silly but kind of neat too . 
i'm sorry . 
i don't mean to ramble on about matters not directly linked to watchers reborn , the movie . 
i suppose i just don't want to talk about the movie itself . 
this turkey is really cheesy . 
no one in this movie can act , including mark hamill , and it's difficult seeing the aged luke skywalker stumble around trying to be the hero . 
the cheese factor is only increased when he's involved in an implied sex scene with the blond biologist / geneticist / zoologist / whatever-the-f * * k-she's-supposed-to-be whom he befriends . 
mercifully , the filmmakers opted not to do nudity . 
to be honest , the only half-convincing actor in the film is the golden retriever who plays einstein . 
you know a movie is bad when a dog outacts all of its human counterparts . 
i find it difficult to relate how laughable the action sequences are in this movie . 
and the creature ! 
yes , the creature out after poor einstein is some guy in a furry suit and a mask which poorly imitates the werewolves in the howling . 
this creature is shot about 500 , 000 times , but it's okay . 
the creature has the ability to kill people by swinging his arms around and pushing . 
oh , he can also rip body parts off , allowing for many scenes of fake hands and arms being thrown around . 
cheesy gore . 
that's another main element of watchers reborn . 
it has many bloody scenes which are thoroughly unconvincing and only increase the film's campiness rather than its suspense . 
ultimately , i gave watchers reborn a star and a half because bad horror / sci-fi film buffs may get a few kicks out of the film's silliness ( though this film will tax even their patience -- it's an 83 minute film , but it feels like four hours ) . 
also , i hate to admit , i have survived far worse than this . 
anyone who has sat through the christopher lambert and natasha henstridge debacle known as adrenalin : fear the rush will know what i mean . 
finally , i couldn't help but think that watchers reborn would work well as "" bot fodder "" for the creative folks behind one of my all-time favorite shows , "" mystery science theater 3000 . "" 
this thought alone helped me survive watchers reborn with a smile on my face . 
rated r , watchers reborn contains dozens of blood-spattered bodies and unconvincing gore . 
it also has violence , obviously . 
i wouldn't recommend it for the little kids , but i'm sure even young teens would make it through this movie okay . 
instead of watching this film , however , i recommend reading koontz's book . 
trust me , it'll be time much , much better spent . 
"
"-1","you should have heard the old guys in the crowded bathroom following the "" odd couple ii "" sneak preview . 
they were as happy a group of men as i've ever encountered . 
 "" what a great movie , "" exclaimed one gent at the urinal , "" everything was so true ! "" 
 "" yeah , "" laughed a man standing next to him , "" i drive as slow as that one guy did . 
my kids give me holy hell for it ! "" 
 "" and peeing is a big part of my day , just like with felix , "" chuckled another fellow , as he fastened his trousers up around his nipples and prepared to rejoin his wife . 
if you're over 60 and in the habit of driving at least 20 miles per hour below the posted speed limit , "" neil simon's the odd couple ii "" may be just the film for you . 
others will likely be less charitable . 
while "" the odd couple ii "" is amiable enough , neil simon's shockingly lazy screenplay feels like a slapped-together tv reunion show , suffering from wheezing situation comedy set-ups and jokes straight out of the borscht-belt . 
simon , once the toast of broadway , has apparently shifted his sights from the great white way to the neighborhood multiplex in branson , missouri . 
the contrived story , involving the marriage of their kids , provides the excuse for a reunion between oscar madison and felix unger , who haven't seen each other in 17 years . 
the former roommates fly into california from their respective homes for the wedding and , quite literally , run into one another at the airport . 
they take off in a rental car for the ceremony in san molina , get lost and have a series of "" wacky "" adventures on the road . 
jack lemmon and walter matthau reprise their roles as felix the neat freak and oscar the slob . 
while there is an undeniable chemistry between the pair , the impact of their reunion is lessened by the fact that they've headlined three films together since 1993 : "" grumpy old men , "" "" grumpier old men "" and "" out to sea . "" 
still , the two veteran actors are fun to watch . 
matthau , whose magnificently rumpled face looks like a big pile of laundry with eyes , has a field day as oscar , the crown prince of the curmudgeons . 
lemmon , looking pastier than usual , is fine as the ever- annoying felix , who still punctuates his chronic whining with occasional allergic honks of "" phnah ! 
phnah ! "" 
despite their bickering , the characters have real affection for each other , providing a welcome respite from the non-stop barrage of insults that marked their previous three films together . 
unfortunately , matthau and lemmon's charm isn't enough to compensate for simon's hack script , which wouldn't pass muster even on a upn sitcom . 
one contrived situation follows another , lathered with enough stale one- liners to supply a dozen would-be comics on open-mike night at the local comedy club . 
if someone drags you to this film and you find yourself as bored as i was , try entertaining yourself by counting the product placements . 
burger king gets one , as does the el pollo loco taco joint , but budget rent-a- car really hits the jackpot . 
between script references to their business and shots of signs and stickers bearing their company name , i couldn't keep count of all the plugs . 
i did , however , keep track of some of the swearing . 
i came up with four "" god-damns , "" three "" shitheads "" and two "" fucks . "" 
the inclusion of those particular profanities seemed odd for a film aimed at an older audience , but the theater full of seniors appeared to have no problem with them , howling like crazy every time the boys let rip with a naughty word . 
it's sad that a writer of neil simon's stature has grown desperate enough to resort to swearing for cheap laughs , but not surprising when you look at what else gets passed off as humor in this tepid exercise . 
one running gag involves oscar and felix's inability to remember the name of the town where the wedding is to be held . 
at one point , the men actually spend 30 seconds just free-associating , riffing off variants of the word "" san . "" 
the sequence is so creatively bankrupt that it is simply embarrassing . 
one of the oldest maxims of film-going is "" beware of movies that use the author's name in the title . "" 
 "" neil simon's the odd couple ii "" is no exception to the rule . 
while the production has enough minor pleasures to warrant a tv viewing on some lazy sunday afternoon , it has no business playing in a movie theater . 
of course , there's a bathroom full of old guys who would strongly disagree with every word i've written , and would probably whip my "" young-whippersnapper "" ass to boot . 
one thing's for sure , though . 
they'll never catch me in a car chase . 
"
"-1","the army comedy genre has never turned out a truly good movie ( if you don't count neil simon's biloxi blues ) . 
year after year , more predictably cliched military movies come out -- most recently sgt . 
bilko -- and none of them ever manage to be anything more than a rehash of the last . 
i thought stripes would be different . 
with ivan reitman as director , bill murray as star and harold ramis as co-star and co-screenwriter , it seemed like it would be ghostbusters in the army . 
instead , it was a bunch of unfunny crap in the army . 
murray , about as funny and sophisticated here as he was in meatballs , plays a loser cab driver who sees the army as his only chance for success , and convinces his friend ramis to enlist with him . 
so he does , and we get the obligatory drill sergeant from hell , head-shaving and marching/singing sequences , more mind-numbingly stale here than ever . 
the characters are even less original , ranging from underachieving slob john candy to incompetent captain john larroquette . 
all the big name stars in stripes ( and even larroquette ) fall victim to the lame , rehashed material and are never really likeable , murray in particular . 
he only gets a few decent lines in , although those barely-funny one liners pale in comparison to the hilarious peter venkman character he played three years later in ghostbusters . 
he was even better in caddyshack , for crying out loud . 
as with a lot of the late 70's / early 80's comedies , stripes is a completely juvenile movie only a child would like but is so sex- obsessed no child should be able to watch it . 
i'm sure it seems funny on paper to have candy pay over $400 to mud wrestle five beautiful women , but while watching it all that was coming out of my mouth was the admonition "" dear god ! "" 
every few seconds . 
stripes isn't the playful kind of sex comedy , either . 
most of the time it seems downright misogynistic , as when larroquette uses his telescope to peer into the women's showers or murray lifts a female m . p . 
onto the stove and , with an i-know-what-you-like look on his face , says he's going to give her the "" aunt jemima treatment , "" which means shoving a spatula under her butt repeatedly . 
you don't want to stick around as the scene progresses and he uses an ice cream scoop on her genital region . 
 "" i'm not enjoying this , "" the woman protests . 
my sentiments exactly . 
"
"-1"," "" mercury rising "" has numerous flaws , but there is one that really stands out : its central plot device is unnecessary . 
that's right . 
the major aspect of the film , that which is supposed to make it different from other routine government conspiracy / action flicks could be dropped from the beginning , and the movie would turn out exactly the same , if not better . 
this central device is the fact that a nine-year-old boy is autistic . 
his name is simon , and an evil government bureaucrat named nicholas kudrow ( alec baldwin ) wants him dead because he unknowingly cracked a supersecret government code slipped into the back of a puzzle magazine by its programmers just to see if someone could beat it . 
simon is intended to be the heart and soul of the film , and we are supposed to feel for him because he is a poor handicapped child thrown into a violent , unfair world against his will , with only a renegade fbi agent played by bruce willis to protect him . 
the fact that he is autistic does nothing for the emotional intensity or the plot necessities of "" mercury rising . "" 
i suppose the original novel upon which the movie was based did much more with this aspect of simon's character and his relationship with willis , but here it is lost . 
miko hughes , the young actor who plays simon , goes through the prescribed motions of being autistic : he walks slowly , drawls his words , kicks and screams when he's touched , and has a hard time looking at other people . 
it's a difficult role for an adult , much less a young child , to play , and unfortunately hughes never convinces us that he isn't playing like he's autistic . 
unlike dustin hoffman's performance in "" rain man "" or leonardo dicaprio's in "" what's eating gilbert grape , "" we are always painfully aware that hughes is acting . 
however , unlike "" rain man "" which used its character's autism in unique and interesting ways to build a credible and touching story , "" mercury rising "" could go right about its generic , predictable plot with simon being simply a really smart but really shy kid . 
hell , he doesn't even have to be shy . 
in fact , the movie might have been more interesting if he had had a more active role , rather than just being carted around under willis' arm . 
willis' character , art jeffries , is a disillusioned fbi agent who has been removed from undercover work and is now doing menial tasks like listening to wiretaps with rookies who are happy to be doing anything . 
he becomes involved with simon when he is called to check out a murder scene at simon's house , where his father has apparently shot his mother in the back and then committed suicide . 
of course , we know that isn't the way it happened happen because we saw an evil , square-jawed government hitman with a mean-looking crew-cut knock off the parents . 
simon was able to get away , and jeffries finds him hiding in a secret compartment in a closet , which the rest of the chicago police department had overlooked . 
jeffries -- who is accused by several characters at different times of being paranoid although his actions never suggest it -- knows there is something more , and he makes it his personal mission to go against everything and everyone in order to protect simon . 
this is quite a task because that same hitman who knocked off simon's parents is crawling everywhere , attempting to kill simon at the hospital , on the highway , and every other place he goes . 
late in the movie , jeffries is forced to enlist the aid of a pretty young woman named stacey ( kim dickens ) who he meets at a coffee shop . 
of all the hard-to-believe aspects of the movie , this is the worst . 
i can believe in the decency of the human heart , but stacey's character is far too accommodating . 
not only does she agree to watch simon while jeffries runs off to solve the mystery , she lets him into her apartment at two o'clock in the morning when she knows the police is after him , and then lets him leave simon in her apartment which means that she has to forgo a business trip that is desperately needed to pay the rent . 
the grinding squeals of the rusty plot machine are almost overbearing at this point . 
the movie might have been redeemed by some good action sequences , but even here "" mercury rising "" doesn't rise to the challenge . 
the movie was directed by harold becker , who has made some good suspense films including "" sea of love "" ( 1989 ) and "" malice "" ( 1993 ) , but his talent is nowhere to be found in this latest excursion . 
there is one fight on a streetcar between jeffries and another hitman ( played by peter stormare ) that is so ineptly directed , shot and edited , that i had no idea 1 ) exactly where they were on the streetcar , 2 ) who was hitting who , and 3 ) where this hitman came from and how he knew where jeffries and simon were . 
the grand finale takes place on the roof of a tall building , and features a harrowing ( yawn ) scene where simon walks along the very edge of the building , not because he has to , but because it's more suspenseful that way . 
taken as a whole , "" mercury rising "" is an tepid , confused movie that lacks style , wit , and any traces of a sense of humor . 
usually willis brings his personal brand of understated humor to his roles , but here he is too straight and serious . 
this is because the movie wants to be an action flick and a heartfelt drama at the same time , but it ends up failing on both fronts . 
maybe the book was better , but the way it's handled here is a perfect case study in formula filmmaking guaranteed to bore . 
"
"-1","i have never been a "" star trek "" fan , and , to tell the truth , out of the five films in the series that i have seen ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 8 , 9 ) , i have disliked all of them . 
i do , however , always go into one of these with an open mind , and the ninth film in the series , "" star trek : insurrection , "" is no exception . 
dropping almost completely the hard-core sci-fi element of the previous one in the series , "" first contact , "" "" insurrection , "" tells the story of a planet that holds only 600 people , known as the ba'ku , as well as the fountain of youth . 
at the start of the picture , the villagers go under attack by a second alien species , known as the son'a , who want to push all of the ba'ku out so that their own race will not die out . 
also attacking the ba'ku is data ( brent spiner ) , a robot from the star trek enterprise . 
after returning to jean-luc picard ( patrick stewart ) and the gang on their space ship , no one can understand why data was somehow taken over by another force . 
so several of the star trek members travel down to the planet of the ba'ku , where picard meets up and starts to fall in love with one of the inhabitants , a sultry , kind alien woman ( donna murphy ) , who is over six-hundred-years-old , but looks to only be in her thirties . 
 "" star trek : insurrection , "" is a completely unoriginal and cheap-looking installment in the series , and is a big step down from , 1996's "" first contact , "" which at least appeared to try to make something a bit different . 
in , "" insurrection , "" however , it plays like a low-rent episode of the television show , due to the small-scale , generic storyline , and an emphasis on one-liners rather than excitement . 
the film was filled with nearly non-stop comedy , and worse yet , most of it fell flatter than a cartoon character that drops off a cliff . 
meanwhile , when there were action sequences , they were not at all interesting or inventive , relying on that old reliable ticking timer that counts down very , very slowly . 
this plot device , which is seen in just about every action film made nowadays , is getting old fast . 
are filmmakers so bankrupt of ingenuity and ideas that they must always have a timer ticking away during the climax ? 
another element of , "" star trek , "" films in general is that picard seems to always have to have a love interest , but then she always miraculously disappears when the next film is made two or three years later . 
although donna murphy , who falls victim to this thankless love interest role here , is actually one of the few characters that we get to know in the 103-minute running time , alfre woodard was far superior in , "" first contact . "" 
she should have returned for this one , but i don't blame her for not wanting to waste her time with this movie's disappointing and often lifeless screenplay , by michael piller . 
 "" star trek : insurrection , "" is perhaps the weakest film in the "" star trek , "" series , although i have not seen what is widely considered the worst , "" star trek v : the final frontier . "" 
 "" insurrection , "" is the type of "" safe "" sequel that will bewilder non-fans , since it is so low-tech compared to most of today's blockbuster action films ( although most of these are honestly not very good , either ) , and should disappoint the loyal trekkies , since it could have easily been better if the makers had realized that the screenplay needed to go through a few more drafts . 
on second thought , they probably should have completely thrown the script out . 
that way , they could have come up with a story that at least had a sign of intelligence and freshness . 
"
"-1","while the summer movie season approached its long awaited cessation , we had yet another shoddy , subordinate disposable celluloid superhero movie brought on by the inexorable hasten from the major studios to please kids with everything they think kids will go for to disburse their seven bucks . 
and , once again , we have one of the worst films of the year . 
the trend of the moment-- and bear in mind it's a trend not a movie - is spawn , and if you've seen the animated series on hbo you'll recall it embodies the lost life of a disfigured man , an individual who has transpired the ultimate punishment : he's been sent to hell . 
todd mcfarlane , the creator of the spawn comic book , must have had a tough time sitting through spawn , for his creativity and themes about resurrection and loss of identity were all being jettisoned in favor of reliable special effects , style over substance , ambience over anything else . 
not only does spawn rely entirely on special effects , the story , about a bewildered individual who must take on a group of * bad guys * and * find himself * in the process is realized in such a sordid , incapable manner , it becomes indigestible after a while . 
every character in this film is lifeless , vacuous and seemingly written by a depressed college student . 
the story begins , like in every superhero movie in this age , with a man living an idyllic life . 
al simmons ( michael jai white ) , a government agent/assassin shares the love of his wife , wanda ( theresa russell ) and daughter , has a tongue-in-cheek , wiseass partner , terry ( d . b sweeney ) and is content with the job his boss , jason wynn ( martin sheen ) , provides him . 
the next element in the film is the part when things go awry . 
and as expected , everyone turns the tables on poor al . 
as the two are investigating their latest mission at some sort of biological weapons plant , al is befriended by jason , and dies in a gory and truly sickening scene . 
inevitably , it leads everyone to the conclusion that he has passed away . 
hence , jason's mischievous master-mind plan , to ` conquer the world "" is just commencing its initial stages , when al makes a pact with satan himself , agreeing to command the devil's army to take over the world and he gets to see his family again . 
so , our pal al has been uplifted to hell , and while his transformation from normal guy to spawn takes place , his ol' partner terry forms a relationship with his wife . 
time passes . 
and now spawn is present in the grotesque inner city , the ghetto where cog ( nicol williamson ) teaches spawn how to utilize his neat artifacts , his motorbike , armor , etc . . . 
this character is merely a poor man's obi wan kenobi without all the mythological hoopla . 
now the stage is set spawn , the new `enemy of evil' vs evil . 
and evil takes the cake , doubtlessly . 
john leguizamo's deliciously heinous performance as the injurious clown working for wynn is the film's relief point . 
all this anguish , pain , half-baked themes and putrid action scenes are invisible to leguizamo , who steals the show and derives joy from his character , which is basically a compilation of so-so one liners . 
and then there's martin sheen . 
whichever way you look you will find carving boards near his pitying and downright appalling last two years . 
his selections calls for an immediate firing of his agent . 
as the megalomaniac boss , his caricature plays like a bad dream out of a b-movie , scrambled , and left in the shelf to rot . 
this is the man that starred in films such as apocalypse now and wall street . 
i'd never thought i'd be saying this , but at this juncture , charlie sheen's career is in better shape . 
spawn is a movie in which realism , or even an attempt to draw a parallel between the problems of the hero and real life is identifiable . 
for most of the film the vapid michael jai white consumes his time ogling , jumping through roofs , and performing all kinds of acrobatic exercises which even batman and robin accomplished better . 
it constantly reminded us we were watching a superhero movie-- a very bad superhero movie . 
continually the film kept on depending on special effects , and sadly , this is how pictures are being made . 
perhaps no other movie better than spawn illustrates the deterioration of cinema through computer wizardry . 
the filmmakers seem to have forgotten every human element possible . 
the quality of this film is abysmal and insulting . 
it is perceptible that director mark dippe , attempted to touch the psychological chord that tim burton's batman did touch , the desperation of a man whose life has all but evaporated in one spontaneous act . 
but bruce wayne had human elements to him . 
he was pensive , resourceful and had relationships , which made our perspective on him equally human . 
the character of al simmons seems to be longing for a drastic change , as if he's fatigued about being normal . 
and as all superheroes , batman , superman , the phantom , they must possess an element of normal civilians to make us think they are extraordinary . 
none of this is present in spawn . 
the fighting sequences are weakly executed , the dialogue is penny-dreadful and the art direction an odious duplicate of blade runner's . 
as an example of this film's vastly creative imagination the writers of spawn decided to include a poor orphan boy who is abandoned and beaten , and then rescued by spawn , so our emotions tend to be a little more sympathetic . 
admittedly , i did laugh once in the film , and that's when todd mcfarlane showed up in an unexpected cameo as a bum . 
it is no wonder why so american children grow up with no engrossment for art or literature . 
besides blaming a large portion of it on the laughable school system , i condemn the other part to garbage like spawn . 
movies that present no admiration , no captivation , no richness and vague interest in what children are being subjected to . 
and kids will continue to see films like spawn , simply because they are unable to differentiate what makes an imaginative , wondrous film from an insipid and wasteful one . 
children are not muppets . 
and spawn unapologetically targets children . 
"
"-1","it's not a bad thing to update old stories . 
it's done all the time in the oral tradition . 
the difficulty with this film is not that the tale has changed , it's that it's dry . 
the new cinderella , danielle ( drew barrymore ) is not sitting around waiting for her prince to come . 
she's a woman of the late twentieth century albeit situated in sixteenth century france . 
when her father dies , she stays on in his house even though she is mistreated by her wicked stepmother rodmilla ( anjelica huston ) . 
she works by day , but reads sir thomas more by firelight at night . 
although the story is updated , you know the plot . 
danielle meets prince henry ( dougray scott ) , goes to a ball disguised , is later found out and they live happily ever after . 
the movie is often like watching a filmed play . 
theater in real life is engrossing . 
theater on the screen is usually lifeless . 
there doesn't seem to be much going on . 
the camera can be a star of films . 
here it's a co-conspirator . 
danielle's convictions are compromised . 
a socialist and a feminist , she pretends to be royalty to get her man . 
a kind woman , her last act in the movie is one of revenge . 
the most enjoyable characters are the most cartoonish . 
the fairy godmother stand-in , leonardo da vinci ( patrick godfrey ) is fun to watch as the eccentric old man who advises danielle . 
huston is enjoyable in her over-the-top wickedness . 
in all fairness , my companion loved the film . 
maybe it's one of those "" chick flicks "" that men don't like . 
it is certainly a date film . 
nearly the entire audience was couples . 
oh well , maybe it's good for something . 
"
"-1","i suppose it's unfair to criticize a movie like hudson hawk , which has been panned by reviewers and moviegoers alike since it's 1991 release . 
michael lehmann's action-comedy was quick to win the title `biggest box office flop of all time' , or close thereof . 
the movie stars bruce willis as renowned cat burglar hudson hawk , who's just been released from sing sing prison after many years in isolation ( `let me put it this way , ' he explains , `i never saw et' ) . 
greeting him is his old friend and partner in crime ( played by danny aiello ) , who becomes the subject of many amusing fat jokes . 
these are rather welcome in a movie filled with so many completely unfunny sight gags , cartoonish villains and unbelievable coincidences . 
it appears as if director lehmann didn't know when to stop all the absurd silliness , and he piles on layer after layer of utter ridiculousness as the movie propels itself toward the finish line . 
if at some point during hudson hawk you make the assumption that things couldn't get goofier , you'll soon be eating your words . 
but , i'm inclined to say that this film is not quite as terrible as it's box office numbers suggest . 
it's fast-paced and entertaining , if you've got incredible patience and a warped sense of humor . 
for the first portion of this review , i'm going to try and center on the positive aspects of hudson hawk . 
wish me luck . 
first and foremost : bruce willis is a good sport . 
while i'm not entirely sure what he was smoking when he co-wrote this script , willis is quite aware that the entire project is a big , fat , ugly joke . 
he constantly gives deadpan reactions to things that are very silly and out-of-place , which means he has more than his share of deadpan reactions . 
another plus is the appearance of andie macdowell as a schizophrenic nun and love interest for the title character . 
they meet when hudson goes on a mission to steal a priceless book from the vatican , and their relationship escalates in interest from there . 
it's unfortunate that mcdowell's one-note character is used just as an excuse for there to be a predictable plot-twist , and she offers absolutely no encouraging chemistry with willis . 
but now i'm rambling on again about the negative things , aren't i ? 
enough of the charade - for the most part , hudson hawk is an excruciating experience . 
it's stupid , pointless and repetitive . 
i can only wonder what bruce willis fans thought after exiting the theater , because this film really doesn't have the potential to please anyone . 
action fans should take note that hudson hawk is composed of 90% comedy , and even the action sequences are skittery , rushed and poorly edited . 
and those expecting a hearty laugh or two will find it difficult even to smirk during all of the headache-inducing hi-jinks . 
don't get me wrong , this film is not devoid of laughs . 
it's too bad most of them are unintentional , or just plain forced . 
the impressive cast looks suitably embarrassed . 
it's understandable to see willis and aiello in a movie of this caliber , but as for the presence of future academy award winner james coburn i'm not entirely sure . 
coburn plays a former nemesis of the hawk who again comes into play , and he looks unsure of his place the entire movie . 
especially when he resorts to martial arts during the final showdown , and has a fight with willis that would look right at home in a jackie chan film . 
things get more bizarre when we're introduced to his team of rejects named after chocolate bars , including future nypd blue star david caruso as the speechless , card-flipping kit-kat . 
if that's not enough for you , there's richard e . grant and sandra bernhard hamming it up as a deranged couple on the brink of a convoluted economic takeover . 
their crotch-biting pooch provides a couple of the big laughs here . 
wait , maybe the only big laughs . . . 
i'm not sure what kind of movie everyone had in mind when filming hudson hawk . 
i can't even begin to start about the film's absurd plot ; but let's not get into that . 
i suppose there's some amusement viewers could derive from the ridiculous premise , if they were that desperate . 
but hudson hawk never even has a clue of where it's going from minute one , and from there it's 90 minutes of pure cinematic muck . 
"
"-1","if there were a subject just screaming to be made into a film , it was studio 54 , the late steve rubell's infamous new york discotheque , which came to symbolize the taboo-smashing excesses of the disco era's heyday : easy drugs and even easier sex between everyone , all set to a thumping dance beat . 
so when miramax started production on _54_ last year , the buzz of hype and resulting anticipation began : an edgy film as down-and-dirty as the club itself , written and directed by a promising first-timer ( mark christopher ) and starring some hot young talent ( salma hayek , neve campbell , newcomer ryan phillippe , and mike myers in his dramatic debut ) . 
my , how easily does the worm turn . 
hype turned into damage control when word got out about 11th-hour reshoots ( wrapped only a month ago ) , a rash of studio-imposed edits that left virtually the entire cast and crew ( especially christopher ) unhappy , and the very likely possibility that miramax would not screen the finished film for critics . 
at the last minute , though , miramax did decide to screen the film ( so hastily scheduled was the screening that myers's last name was misspelled on the invitation , not to mention the numerous typos in the press notes ) for a media audience that came away noticeably less than impressed , myself included . 
and with good reason--somehow , some way , the supremely disappointing _54_ has made the historically hip haven of hedonism . . . 
boring . 
although christopher has distanced himself from the finished film , he still must shoulder some of the blame for _54_'s lifelessness . 
_54_ focuses , for the most part , on a tight-knit trio of employees at the club : coat check girl/aspiring disco diva anita ( a wasted hayek ) ; her busboy husband , greg ( breckin meyer ) ; and , most prominently , the fresh-from-jersey shane o'shea ( phillippe ) , who enjoys a quick rise from busboy to head bartender . 
these characters are about as generic as those descriptions . 
in focusing on the hired help , christopher really missed the boat . 
with the exception of the flamboyant , always-woozy rubell ( myers , in a well-modulated turn ) , the meaty stories to be told at studio 54 are not the workers' but those of the people who went there to party ; not necessarily the numerous vip guests , but the wild eccentrics who managed to be picked from the crowd by the club's famously hard-ass doormen and dance ( among other things ) the night away with the rich , famous , and infamous ( the only taste of the crowd comes by way of ellen dow's feisty dottie , a disco- and drug-crazed granny , but she's a peripheral character at best ) . 
as such , aside from the expected overhead crowd shots , there is precious little actual _dancing_ in _54_ . 
what is a disco film--especially one about the pinnacle of the movement--without the dancing ? 
even whit stillman's _the_last_days_of_disco_ , which wasn't so much concerned with disco as it was witty dialogue within a group of hip-to-only-themselves club-hopping preppies , featured at least one extended dance scene . 
dancing isn't the only thing glazed over in _54_--so is the sex , but that may not be entirely christopher's fault . 
from what i've heard , his original vision was something considerably more dark and daring , starting with the shane character : he was conceived ( and actually filmed ) as a wild , morally ambiguous bisexual , which would have made an efficient springboard to cover the pansexual pleasure palace aspect of studio 54's legend . 
but somewhere between principal photography and the final cut , shane was defanged and quite literally straightened out ; consequently , so was the film . 
aside from a brief glimpse of erotic encounters toward the beginning of the film , shane's fleeting dalliance with seductive socialite billie ( sela ward ) , and an abbreviated bedhopping montage , the sexual dimension is just about ignored . 
shane , in this incarnation , is sanitized to the point of blandness , an idealistic do-gooder who pines for a frequent guest at the club , julie black ( campbell ) , a worldly soap star with , yes , a heart of gold . 
this tacked-on "" romance "" would have been slightly less tedious if either campbell or phillippe made some connection with each other or the audience . 
they fail on both counts . 
ultimately , _54_'s failure comes down to three letters : f-u-n . 
as in , there isn't any to be had for the audience . 
too much time is spent with the boring shane , and too little is spent on the club floor , where all the action took place . 
anyhow , though , whatever time is spent on the 54 floor is not used very effectively . 
when anita finally gets her big break and perform onstage at the club , it should be a euphoric height , for her , the crowd , and the audience ; however , the moment doesn't get a chance to reach that level , for it is cut short by a moment of forced sentimentality , which also mars the film's conclusion ( one of the last-minute reshoots ) . 
strangely upbeat and wistful , the resolution is wholly unconvincing and unsatisfying . 
there is an interesting portrait of studio 54 out there--two of them , in fact--but _54_ is not one of them . 
they're on cable tv : a couple of documentaries produced by e ! and vh1 . 
these two fascinating looks at the club and all the sordid goings-on within it show that there's still a great disco movie to be made . 
the problem is , after the critical and certain box office failure of _54_ , the subject may have run its hollywood course . 
"
"-1","a hotshot lawyer gets an obviously guilty child molester acquitted , and shortly after during the victory celebration gets offered an opportunity to show his prowess in new york city . 
the lawyer , kevin lomax ( keanu reeves ) is not offered a job yet , he is asked to simply pick a jury . 
he accepts . 
the jury he selects work out well and before long he is offered a job with the firm . 
making his decision easy is the fact that not only is he offered big money , but a gorgeous apartment . 
he convinces his wife , mary ann ( charlize theron ) to make the move to new york . 
the first case given to him is a big test ; a "" winless "" case concerning a man who sacrifices animals in his basement . 
the charge was health code violations and kevin once again shows his skill and earns an acquittal . 
his new boss and partner in the firm , john milton ( al pacino ) is quite impressed and takes kevin under his wing , explaining many of his philosophies on law , women and sex , and angles the promise of a blissful , wealthy life . 
kevin's next case is a dream case , given to him by milton himself ( much to the chagrin to his colleagues ) , defending a triple murder suspect who has had a history of problems with the law . 
although kevin's career is taking off , his home life is not doing very well . 
mary ann is starting to have numerous problems . 
she is experiencing severe depression over kevin's long hours , and before long is having horrible dreams and hallucinations of people turning into ghouls , their faces becoming horribly disfigured . 
kevin does not help matters by dismissing his wife . 
he does not spend more time with her as he explains to milton that he needs to spend as much time on the case as possible to get it over with , then focus all of his attention on his wife . 
not helping matters is the fact that kevin is having ideas about a possible affair with a sexy lawyer ( connie nielson ) also working with the firm . 
mary ann falls deeper into her madness as kevin spends more time away from home . 
kevin eventually looses control of his life and has to institutionalize his wife , and gets disturbing news from his mother ( judith ivey ) about the mystery concerning the identity of his father . 
he also starts to lose control of his case . 
kevin learns that all of his problems have been caused by the work of one man . 
that man is his boss , mr . milton , a truly evil character who just may be the devil himself . 
kevin must somehow confront milton and thwart whatever diabolical plan he has in store . 
but how do you defeat the devil ? 
why is it that most courtroom scenes in the movies are absurd ? 
do filmmakers really believe that "" normal "" courtroom drama doesn't fit the bill and they have to juice them up ? 
the courtroom scenes in this movie would never happen in a real courtroom , which wouldn't have been too bad if it weren't keanu reeves trying to pull it off . 
i give reeves credit for trying hard , but throughout the movie i never saw the kevin lomax character , just an actor trying very hard to play kevin lomax and coming up short . 
charlize theron defines the term "" over-the-top "" in her performance as mary ann lomax , a disappointment in contrast to her good performance in "" 2 days in the valley "" . 
the only good performance in the movie is by al pacino , but i kept asking myself what the heck he was doing in this mess ? 
maybe he felt it would be interesting playing the devil , and you can tell he is having fun doing so , but his skill as an actor cannot save the poor performances and lackluster script that surround him . 
it's pretty standard stuff , including the fact that the hotshot lawyer appears to be the only competent person on the planet who can do anything right in the courtroom . 
please read no further if you do not want the ending spoiled , but i have to get something off of my chest . 
in 1986 i remember watching a movie called "" wisdom "" with emilio estevez and demi moore , and the ending of that film did the worst possible thing that a movie could do . 
what i like to call "" guess what , it was all a dream "" scenario . 
in "" wisdom "" the two lead characters are killed at the end , only to have one of the characters "" wake up "" from an apparent and say "" gosh , i'm glad that didn't really happen ! "" . 
i considered it inexcusable the way the audience was toyed with . 
well , the same thing happens in "" the devils advocate "" , and although arguments could be made surrounding whether it was actually a dream ( perhaps milton went back in time to try a different route for his plan , since it failed and he is the devil ) , but the point is that the last 90% of the film didn't happen . 
i know it's a stretch , after all it is a movie and nothing really happened , but i just get annoyed to get toyed with like that . 
of course , the dream ending could almost be forgiven if the story that precedes it was at least an interesting one . 
as i recall , "" wisdom "" was a decent film . 
 "" the devil's advocate "" is not . 
the devils advocate 
directed by taylor hackford john milton . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . al pacino kevin lomax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . keanu 
reeves mary ann lomax . . . . . . . . . . . charlize 
theron mrs . lomax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . judith 
ivey eddie barzoon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . jeffrey jones christabella . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . connie 
nielson 
written by randy turgeon , march 18 , 1998 . 
"
"-1","the spy game is up . 
you can thank charlie's angels -- the movie -- for that . 
when did banality and pandering become okay ? 
just steal from hong kong , the matrix , and a kitschy tv show from the mid-1970s and that's a movie ? 
charlie's angels is one of the worst examples of action film homogeneity and shameless duplicity in any film i've seen in ages . 
charlie's angels is dumb . 
just plain dumb . 
as we all know , three of the hottest females on the planet -- drew barrymore , cameron diaz , and lucy liu -- are three super-agents working for the mysterious millionaire named charlie . 
they all drive fast cars , look oh-so-fabulous even in the morning , and don't seem to get a scratch even when fighting armed men , having buildings explode ten feet in front of them , or flying through the air in matrix slow-motion . 
and while the entourage spends 90 minutes romping around in cleavage-busting wetsuits , cleavage-busting waitress uniforms , and cleavage-busting wet t-shirts , they scarcely succeed in resembling so much as a group of annoying , drunk sorority girls , the kind who hit on everybody at a party . 
the actual plot revolves around the ridiculous story of a millionaire computer engineer -- the great sam rockwell -- who gets kidnapped by a mysterious rival computer company . 
of course , the rival wants control of his new personal identification system , which involves such latter-day buzzwords as gps , cellular tracking , and even mainframe . 
the amazing crispin glover lends his acting chops as a crazed henchmen involved in all the nasty things that happen to the angels -- like battling each of them in many round-robin matrix rip-off ( again ) fight sequences and harboring a strange attraction to sliced-off locks of the angels' hair . 
the coup de grace is bill murray as bosley , serving as charlie's manservant , or , more to the point , the angels' pimp . 
the rest of the movie comprises a revenge arc , enough costume changes to fill three productions of les miserables , carbon-copy fight sequences that would lend credible evidence to a jackie chan and the wachowski brothers lawsuit for intellectual property theft , and the strange transformation of sam rockwell into mickey rourke's long-lost brother . 
charlie's angels starts off with a bang and ends up being a soggy burrito left out overnight . 
nothing is difficult , plausible , or believable in any of the angels' actions . 
it feels like the matrix , mission : impossible 2 , and cleopatra jones and the casino of gold all rolled into one . 
diaz is a knucklehead . 
barrymore is the "" dangerous one , "" mean and tough and about as believable as katie holmes in the role . 
liu is just . . . 
lucy liu , looking good in a skin-tight black leather suit . 
the list of movies from which charlie's angels is directly lifted is equally astonishing . 
the writers apparently ran the copier all night stealing scenes from armageddon , lethal weapon ii , all of jackie chan's movies , the great escape , saturday night fever , revenge of the nerds , payback , darkman , dr . no , the matrix ( as mentioned ) , and even tv's friends . 
it's a shame , too , because one of the many screenwriters , john august , was at the helm of last year's favorite , go . 
then again , what can you expect from a director known solely as "" mcg . "" 
there is no camp value in the film , no interesting main characters , no invigorating action scenes , no reason at all to waste your time except to ogle the hot chicks and enjoy the performances of a few supporting players . 
note to hollywood : next time , let's leave the tv shows on the tv . 
"
"-1","i have always been a fan of director neil jordan , from his early work , such as 1984's "" the company of wolves , "" to 1992's "" the crying game , "" and 1994's "" interview with a vampire . "" 
his latest film , "" the butcher boy , "" is a return to his roots in ireland , but unfortunately , it is not a successful homecoming . 
told through the eyes of a 12-year-old irish boy , francis ( newcomer eomann owens ) , this peculiar film follows him as we learn a little about his decidedly unstable life . 
his father ( stephen rea ) is an indifferent alcoholic , his mother ( fiona shaw ) is mentally ill and always in and out of hospitals , and francis himself delights in terrorizing the mother of one of his friends after he is forbidden to see him anymore . 
francis is the type of boy who always has a lot to say , but mostly fluctuates between sarcasm and frightening honesty , and it quickly becomes apparent that he may very well be a little psychotic , even capable of brutal murder . 
the premise of , "" the butcher boy , "" is one that could have very well been turned into a thought-provoking , disturbing motion picture , but somehow nothing works . 
francis is in almost every scene , but we learn very little about him , as if the film was distancing itself away from him when , i suspect , we were actually supposed to sympathize with him . 
this is definately not young owens fault , however , because he gives a brilliantly accurate performance , and is able to also seem menacing as well . 
the fact that we don't get close to his character is because of the sloppy screenplay . 
the supporting characters are no help , though . 
rea is wasted , and has practically no scenes where he actually talks to his son , or to anyone else for that matter . 
he usually seems to just be sitting watching the television throughout . 
shaw has a little bit more to work with , since she has one touching scene in which she talks to francis in a time of despair , but is out of the picture just as we are beginning to know her . 
and singer sinead o'connor appears rather effectively as the virgin mary who occasionally gives francis advice . 
the pacing is all off in , "" the butcher boy . "" 
although the story could have been dynamite , it moves at a deadeningly slow rate , and i found my mind wandering every once in a while . 
it is also very episodic , because the developments in the story fly by with no satisfying payoffs . 
at one point , francis is sent away to a juvenile prison , and an odd , possibly sexual relationship begins to develop between a priest and himself , but nothing comes of it . 
i'd rather think of , "" the butcher boy , "" as a brief diversion for director jordan , rather than a total misfire . 
he has already proven to be a strong director , but he lucked out with this latest film . 
what could have been a courageous , unsettling character study of an emotionally disturbed young boy , only manages to be an ineffective , uninvolivng bore . 
"
"-1","as you should know , this summer has been less than memorable . 
with a total of 4 decent films , it's not a surprise that these big budget failures keep appearing . 
with that said , you can pretty much predict what my opinion on "" the 13th warrior "" will be . 
the film is based on the michael crichton "" eaters of the dead "" , in which ahmed ibn fahdlan is banished from his country for looking at a wife of a king . 
after tarveling for many months , he comes across a gang of norsemen , who are forced to pick 13 men to protect a town from mythical monsters who travel in the fog . 
so , they start picking men , and are left without 1 , thus ahmed is choosen . 
so far it sounds interesting right ? 
not when all of this takes place in 15 minutes . 
after that , they basically run around killing . 
that alone shows how much a script is needed for a film , because once your story is introduced , you have the rest of the film to start developing it . 
obviously that's not the case here . 
even if you are going into the film expecting an action packed adventure , you will be disappointed . 
since all the action takes place in fog , it is constantly hard to see a scene clearly due to those circumstances , and to poor camera work . 
can't the camera men sit still ? 
i'd like to actually watch a film in focus , but again , they failed to deliver that as well . 
the film moves on and on until the point , where you can care less about anything but the popcorn you're eating . 
with corny dialogue , that the characters laugh at for some odd reason , a script that goes nowhere , dull action sequences , a predictable ending , and worst of all weak characters , there's basically nothing to like here , except for maybe the set designs . 
that's the only thing that honestly caught my interest . 
when i heard that john mctiernan , the director , wanted his name kept out of the project , that made me wonder why ? 
well now i know . 
crichton's greed forced mctiernan to edit his finished product , which led to a big arguement . 
what's there to argue about anyway ? 
the film couldn't be saved , no matter how much they spent or casted . 
seeing films like the haunting and big daddy making money , i wouldn't be surprised to see "" the 13th warrior "" become a hit . 
please do me a favor and save your money at all costs , or else you will be lost in the fog , like the film itself . 
"
"-1","if i were one of those arrogant critics who thinks his review has some great impact on the success or failure of certain films , i might say that i review movies that don't look particularly good because i'm doing a service to my readers by warning them against seeing it . 
if that were true , i could put a banner at the top of my site that reads : "" shay casey : seeing bad movies so you don't have to . "" 
but i know that's bunk-you're going to see whatever movies you want to no matter what i say . 
so i have to tell the truth : every once in a while i get a nasty , masochistic urge to see a bad movie . 
you know the feeling , when you're sick of seeing all these damn academy award contenders and you want to see something you can have a ball trashing mercilessly . 
sometimes i think that's why anyone goes to see pauly shore movies , ever . 
admit it : sometimes you like seeing bad movies . 
so do i . 
so i saw "" supernova . "" 
truth be told , "" supernova "" wasn't quite as bad as i thought it might be . 
maybe i just felt sorry for the actors , or maybe i thought it could have been decent if the studio hadn't started tinkering with the director's ( walter hill ) final cut , causing him to want his name removed . 
maybe i'm becoming a softy . 
in any case , i didn't find "" supernova "" as bad as the advance buzz would have me believe . 
but it's still bad . 
the film takes place aboard the medical space vessel "" nightingale . "" 
the crew includes captain a . j . 
marley ( robert forster ) , his new second officer nick vanzant ( james spader ) , head medical officer kaela evers ( angela bassett ) , medical technicians yerzy penalosa ( lou diamond phillips ) and danika lund ( robin tunney ) , and computer technician benj sotomejor ( wilson cruz ) . 
there are some attempts at "" characterization , "" but all that means is that nick has a shady past involving a drug addiction , which puts kaela on edge , yerzy and danika have a relationship that requires them to make kissy-faces at each other every five minutes , and benj ( apparently gay ) is in love with the computer ( apparently female ) . 
don't expect any more explanation , because you won't get it . 
anyway , the crew gets a distress call from a location deep in space to which a failed mining operation had been sent . 
during the dimension jump ( i think that's what it's called , but don't hold me to it ) , the captain is killed and the man who sent the distress signal ( peter facinelli ) is brought on board . 
he calls himself troy larson , making him the supposed son of a man kaela once had a relationship with . 
then a bunch of really predictable stuff starts happening . 
have you seen "" alien ? "" 
have you seen "" event horizon "" ( a lame movie in its own right ) ? 
good . 
then you've seen "" supernova . "" 
post-production cuts or not , there is nothing original about this screenplay , and nothing unpredictable either . 
after all , no one's going to think for a second that troy won't turn out to be a villain . 
but the bigger problem with "" supernova "" is that it can' t just stick to the simple plot it's afforded . 
numerous re-writes ( the script may be credited to three people , but it's a gross underestimate ) have crammed this lean 90-minute film with tons of extraneous plot threads that all remain underdeveloped . 
was there something about a limping robot shaped like a fighter pilot ? 
did the ship's computer learn something about humanity ? 
what was that glowing lava lamp artifact troy brought on board with him ? 
and just what does the film's title signify , if anything ? 
as far as i can tell , it refers to a very small plot detail that isn't developed , just like the rest of these unnecessary story elements . 
character relationships in this film also make very little sense . 
for some reason , every person in this film keeps having sex . 
we get an unusually early sex scene between phillips and tunney within the first 10 minutes . 
bassett and spader's characters start off hating each other . 
fifteen minutes and one bottle of pear brandy later , they're engaging in some hanky-panky . 
when troy the creepy stranger shows up on the ship , of course both female crew members will fall in love with him . 
every single shift in character interaction happens extremely suddenly , which is only one of the many obvious clues to how much this film has been cut . 
the most prominent example , however , may be the fact that when the film starts , there are no opening credits ! 
furthermore , the end of the film looks like they took what were originally intended to be the opening credits and spliced them in right before the real end credits . 
maybe that's why the film's title is mentioned twice during the end credits , right between james spader and robert forster . 
right after you get over the shock of not being told what movie you're seeing ( lest you decide to walk out upon making that discovery ) , you might notice that the movie seems to have dropped you right in the middle of a scene , with little-to-no introduction to any of the characters or situations . 
the rest of the movie feels like they skipped over the middle stuff in the character changes ( you know , where they explain things ) and just went from point a to point b . point a : danika is thoroughly enamored of yerzy and is ready to have his baby . 
point b : tunney is now shagging troy and yerzy is unusually obsessed with the lava lamp thing . 
doesn't make sense . 
since i didn't understand anything about these characters' motivations , did i care when troy abruptly starts murdering them one-by-one ( and he does , knocking off three of them in about 10 minutes ) ? 
not a whit . 
it's a shame , because this cast contains a lot of talented actors looking for something to do . 
they don't find it . 
bassett and spader say every line in the same monotone voice with the same blank expressions on their faces . 
sexual tension ? 
more like constipation . 
maybe they're just embarrassed at having to utter such howlers as "" this thing was made by someone more powerful than god and a whole lot less nice . "" 
not that we ever find out who that is , mind you . 
the climax of their relationship ( taking place in a transport pod ) is probably the film's biggest forehead-slapper . 
as troy , peter facinelli inhabits the most obvious villain in history that no one ever suspected . 
he' s awfully one-note , but it's not as if he's given any more notes to work with . 
the rest of the cast does even less . 
tunney stands around looking cute , then scared . 
phillips broods . 
cruz flirts with the computer . 
then they all die and a star blows up or something , but i really wasn't paying much attention by then . 
 "" supernova "" is pretty awful , but i'm cutting it a little slack merely because i expected less than what i got . 
that's it . 
if you expect it to be good ( for whatever reasons you may have ) , you'll probably hate it more than i will . 
even the special effects are fairly unimpressive , nothing you haven' t seen before , and suffice to say the script isn't going to save the film . 
honestly , though , what do you expect from a film with about a dozen writers and a director who had his name removed and replaced with a pseudonym ? 
it usually results in a bad movie , and that's what "" supernova "" is . 
"
"-1","for timing reasons having to do with baby sitters , we recently went to a multiplex and saw undercover blues . 
i would give it one half of a star for guts . 
anyone in a movie this bad would have to have guts . 
i later read a ny times review that said kathleen turner and dennis quaid had gotten so plump they looked like they had the mumps in the show . 
the script was the worst part . 
they had characters who talked with funny accents in an attempt to make you laugh . 
they had lots of "" great "" sight gags like two people trying to go in a door together and therefore bumping shoulders against the door . 
turner and quaid both kept smiling like some idiots on a game show . 
the good news is that we were smart enough to vote with our feet and left . 
buy some tickets and give them to your worst enemies . 
tell them the show is great and smile a lot . 
 * * * * = one of the top few films of this or any year . 
a must see film . 
 * * * = excellent show . 
look for it . 
 * * = average movie . 
kind of enjoyable . 
 * = poor show . 
don't waste your money . 
0 = one of the worst films of this or any year . 
totally unbearable . 
review written on : september 29 , 1993 
opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's . 
"
"-1","the obvious reason for producing a sequel to an immensely popular movie is to acquire continued profits . 
the rationale is sound , but in many cases of this and recent years , the sequel is a shoddy product that's exposed for the cash-milking vehicle it really is . 
last year's speed 2 and scream 2 , as well as this year's species ii have all been products that have been decisively less than satisfactory . 
in some cases , a sequel can even discredit its predecessor , as with the latest neo-slasher flick , i still know what you did last summer . 
whatever uniqueness the original might've had now seems trite and overplayed when paired with this abominable thriller . 
julie james ( jennifer love hewitt ) and ray bronson ( freddie prinze jr . ) are back from the original to star in i still know , reprising their roles in typical fashion . 
julie and ray experience a rather predictable falling-out at the beginning of the movie , leaving the door wide open for newcomer will benson ( matthew settle ) . 
will and julie hit it off , and along with friends karla ( brandy norwood ) and tyrell ( mekhi phifer ) , the foursome heads off to a radio station-giveaway vacation in the tropics . 
unfortunately , things aren't so peachy once they arrive , and with a regularity you could set your watch by , the infamous fisherman ( muse watson ) is back with his hook . 
it's another bloody showdown , complete with cliffhanger ending . 
there's not much that's original about i still know , and with the market saturated by gen-x thrillers like this one , it's unlikely that i still know will get any recognition other than that of a bad sequel . 
for die-hard fans of the genre , this will be required viewing material , but the bottom line is that the material here is just recycled from the original i know what you did last summer . 
the aura of thrillerism surrounding the plot isn't heightened by skillful scripting or camera work , but rather a tense , string-based score and manipulative editing . 
the man with the hook ends up becoming very belittled this time around when the script gives him too many lines of dialogue -- he goes from being a scary figure to a nutcase in a few short and painful moments . 
much of the mystery is dropped for the sake of getting the point . 
the whole reason the plot exists - julie and karla must guess the capital of brazil in order to win the trip from the radio station - is a dead giveaway , lessening suspense and creating a hurry-up-and-wait timing problem . 
and , whereas the killer's identity might've been a question in the first movie , it's almost a given here , which changes the dynamic of the movie drastically . 
three or four teens run automatically from a man in a rain slicker they nonchalantly refer to as "" the killer . "" 
they're almost used to it , and the performances show it - not hewitt , nor prinze , nor brandy , nor phifer give a decent show . 
and so , in the end , it's left wide open for a third movie and - most likely - a brand new supporting cast . 
god help us . 
"
"-1","i'm a dedicated fan of writer kevin williamson's work . 
he always finds a clever way to spice up old material with witty dialogue and fresh ideas that stem from his inventive brain . 
with teaching mrs . tingle , his directorial debut , williamson has reached the end of his rope . 
what used to be intelligent about his films is hopelessly stale here . 
the components are all there , including an encouraging premise that all high school students can relate to . 
but where are the thrills ? 
the laughs ? 
both are supposedly absent from this draggy exercise in elaborate revenge . 
and what a shame that is . 
i loved the scream films - heck , i even enjoyed the sci-fi goofiness of the faculty . 
kevin williamson was the reason horror films were such a big draw at the box office . 
teaching mrs . tingle , a black comedy that will leave a gaping void in his optimistic followers , may put an end to his reign . 
or perhaps it will encourage him to spend more time perfecting a script than to worry about his directing duties . 
i still have my faith , but i fear the name of kevin williamson may soon be a forgotten echo of the past . 
the title character of his pet project is a vicious , uncaring history teacher who is played deliciously over-the-top by british actress helen mirren . 
mrs . tingle is basically every student's worst nightmare : a heartless human being bent on distributing poor marks to even the most hard-working of her pupils . 
the principal ( michael mckean ) is horrified of her , and she is unanimously despised among her fellow staff members . 
i enjoyed the fact that everyone in the hallway quickly steers out of her way . 
mirren's performance is one of the very few delights in this distressingly hollow black comedy that goes down like a flat soft drink . 
in other words , it's a poor substitute for williamson's best work . 
the plot is a big problem here . 
material that could have been enjoyable is rendered totally ridiculous by poor handling on the part of the director . 
the likable katie holmes plays leigh ann , an over-achiever hoping to get a college scholarship . 
but typical mrs . tingle says her history project , which she worked on for countless hours , is laughable . 
later on while studying in the gymnasium , a classmate ( barry watson ) offers her a photo-copied duplicate of mrs . tingle's final exam . 
leigh ann's best friend ( marisa coughlan ) encourages her to use it . 
alas , the old hag herself finds the three scheming , and snatches the test , and prepares to talk to the principal in the morning . 
in the morning . . . 
how convenient ! 
the three students head to mrs . tingle's house , attempting to set the facts straight and clear leigh ann's name . 
things get out of hand , and the teacher gets knocked unconscious in a tussle . 
the plan is to tie her to a bed and try to get some reasoning out of her . 
of course , not everything goes entirely to plan . 
besides pointless sub-plots involving the football coach ( jeffrey tambor , horribly wasted ) , there is little by way of actual progress . 
there is no urgency to the situation ; little tension or laughs are involved . 
the humor is completely inconsistent . 
after many of the jokes , the theater was so silent i could have heard a fly sneeze . 
you continue to await some momentum in the story , something that could possibly revive the slow pace . 
a moment like that never arises . 
williamson also does a handsome job of wasting some of the key supporting players , including the talented mckean and larry sanders' vet tambor . 
and the beautiful vivica a . fox has one lifeless scene as a caring guidance counselor , and then williamson disposes of her character entirely . 
on the plus side , holmes and coughlan are admirable ( with the latter giving a frighteningly believable exorcism impression ) , and molly ringwald has an amusing cameo appearance as a substitute teacher . 
while everything is pretty lifeless , teaching mrs . tingle remains watchable . 
there are a few promising ideas that pop up now and again , but anything remotely interesting is squandered by the inane script . 
mirren is easily the best reason to keep watching . 
she is convincingly evil and fun to watch , but even her gifted delivery can't save individual scenes that flounder in boredom . 
if there is one word for the movie surrounding her , it would be `disappointing' . 
basically , kevin williamson is his worst enemy here . 
his uneventful direction prevents any aspects of his screenplay to be appreciated ( not that his writing here is especially good ) . 
we will see , when rookie screenwriter ehren kruger writes the third installment in the scream franchise this christmas , whether williamson is for real . 
"
"-1","a film that means well , but is too pushy in promoting its belabored point and too sentimental to be compelling as a drama . 
it's jeroen krabb ? 's melodrama about a community of jews in antwerp in 1972 who can't forget their bitter past . 
the heroine is an attractive , carefree , nonreligious 20-year-old , chaja ( fraser ) , who wants to forget her jewish roots by getting involved in student demonstrations , screwing a student rebel leader , and living with her gentile friends away from her nagging mother ( s ? gebrecht ) and her self-absorbed , eccentric father ( schell ) . 
her parents are survivors of the holocaust concentration camps , and her home life is filled with angst . 
her mother is in denial about the past always busying herself by cooking soup and baking cakes and complaining about everything , while her father is more openly loving but has recently been absorbed in searching for two suitcases filled with mementos , a family album , silverware , and his old violin . 
he buried them in a garden during the war while fleeing the nazis , but can't locate them now due to all the changes in the city . 
out of frustration after quitting her job as a dishwasher and facing eviction from her apartment , she reluctantly accepts a job as a nanny with an hasidic couple that an old man in her parents' apartment building , mr . apfelschnitt ( topol ) , tells her about . 
the hasidics are ultra-orthodox : they don't go to the cinema or watch tv , adhere to strict dress codes , and strictly observe their religious laws . 
chaja is at first put off by the way they expect her to follow their rules , but soon finds the wife , mrs . kalman ( rossellini ) , to be kind and she becomes attached to one of her 5 children , a 4-year-old named simcha ( monty ) who doesn't talk . 
the stern mr . kalman ( krabb ? ) is not friendly to her and considers her to be a whore because of the way she dresses . 
to hammer home the point of how anti-semitism hasn't gone away there's a barrage of overdone and uninvolving scenes with a sneering concierge ( bradley ) , who keeps making nasty remarks about jews and tries to make things inconvenient for them by preventing the jewish family from using the elevator . 
the film is done in by its ham-fisted script as the story , adapted from carl friedman's book "" the shovel and the loom , "" goes from one false note to another until it gets lost in all the goo of its sentimentality . 
it starts off telling chaja's story of how she's a lost jewess trying to find her identity , then to her nanny role as she loves a mute child stuck in an insulated environment , and then it makes it a story about the lingering effects of the bitter past that can't be forgotten . 
the effort seemed heavy-handed , as the film kept delivering too many obvious messages that it ponderously kept delivering through the stock characters . 
the supporting cast consists of all wooden characters who give their roles a cartoonish flavoring : chaja's parents are given no human shades , while the janitor villain was a particularly annoying role that was one-dimensional and falsely acted . 
the only ones who fought through the script and showed some feelings were fraser , whose effervescent face was expressive of both the trying times she was going through and the joys she felt -- but most admirably showing how she could be so mistaken as to think that she could forget her roots ; while rossellini gave a warm performance of a woman suffering in silence , but is strong in accepting her faith . 
topol's reassuring performance as the wise man who says all the right things to fraser , acts as the true voice of the filmmaker in explaining all the sufferings with common sense . 
the film brazenly uses little simcha to get across its agenda of pointing out how the patriarchal world can be cruel when it can't love : it starts out by showing how under chaja's loving care he's taken to the duck pond and soon starts jabbering away , beginning by saying 'quack , quack' and then going on to ask the four questions during a passover seder . 
but by showing how the boy is so terrified of his strict father that he wets his pants in his presence , refuses to speak because of his stern dad , and eventually becomes the victim of a tragic accident , the film thereby exploits the boy's sufferings and his story just becomes tiresome and not sincerely done . 
i felt i didn't just see a movie , but i attended a lecture for the whole 100 minutes of this serious but unappetizing story . 
it was the kind of movie that you hoped would somehow end soon , as it seemed to be in the habit of rehashing its same viewpoint unnecessarily--the message it keeps sending was already received . 
in the last shot where father and daughter are hopelessly digging for the lost luggage , one has the impression that no one in the film learned anything about themselves or the past . 
that seems strange , since i thought that was what this film was supposed to be about . 
unless i was mistaken and the film's real aim was to make us cry over simcha . 
"
"-1","the tagline for this film is : "" some houses are just born bad "" . 
so i didn't expect too much from this . 
but i had preserved a little spark of ope as i entered the theatre . 
i thought : liam neeson , cathrine zeta jones and jan de bont . 
i thought , mabe it will be fun ? 
and in fact the beginning was rather intriguing . 
but by the end of it i thought : why liam neeson and cathrine zeta jones , jan de bont ? . 
these great actors are basically helpless with this muddled mess that defies any rationality . 
here is the story : in the monstrously over-decorated mansion known as hill house , visitors are tricked by an unknown doctor ( liam neeson ) into being guinea pigs in a fright experiment under the guise of an insomnia investigation . 
among them is a sophisticated bisexual ( cathrine zeta jones ) , a cynical dope ( owen wilson ) and a gentle and emotional lady ( lily taylor ) . 
actually , the doctor is researching the "" primordial fear reaction "" and intends to plant disturbing ideas in his subjects and watch what happens . 
but he gets unexpected help from the house itself . 
it rumbles , hums and belches forth remarkable sights . 
portals become veiny stained-glass eyeballs . 
a fireplace guarded by stone lions gapes like a sinister mouth . 
filmy cherubic spirits take shape under sheets and billowy curtains . 
but the computerized spooketeria rarely feels real , placing an emotional wall between audience and screen . 
the second half of the film is basically about the main heroine running back and forth from the sinister lamps and evil furniture . 
is that exciting or what ? 
the worst thing about it is that it didn't have to be bad . 
it's based on a great book , ``the haunting of hill house , '' by shirley jackson . 
a 1963 adaptation of the book was scary and intelligent . 
it played with the greatest fears of our sub conscience . 
 "" the blair witch project "" , that cost less than an old car , managed to shock and terrify the audiences from their senses . 
and with a $70 mill . 
budget , de bont and screenwriter david self make hash out of a perfectly lovely piece of terror . 
de bont has a style of filmmaking so out of line with the material that it is , in itself , frightening . 
he is the master of the extravagant special effect and the big visual adrenaline rush . 
but why give him a more serious material ? 
in the end "" haunting "" will only haunt its fledgling studio ( dream works skg ) and de bont's career as a director . 
yet it wouldn't be fair to say that everything is bad . 
the effects are truly impressive and the house is wonderfully decorated -- beautiful , mysterious , magical and spooky . 
but this is where the good things end . 
the music is blaring , the floors moving , the ceiling morphing and the pictures on the walls screaming -- and all of this , every second , every moment of screen time , is absolutely without life . 
it's nothing more than a special effects-extravaganza ; visually impressive , but intellectually hollow thriller that simply doesn't engage . 
at first you do not know what's going on . 
is this part of the experiment ? 
are these hallucinations ? 
projections of the subconscience ? 
paranoia ? 
but in the end it shows out that this is actually happening . 
the house is actually possessed . 
it is at that point when all your hopes for a good entertainment disappears out of the window . 
for ever , i sat in anticipation for a decent climax and that's what i got ? 
i believe hichock once said that "" it's better to wait for a climax , than to see one "" . 
this may be true , and it might actually work , but there is only one problem -- jan de bont is not hichock and the things that he shows are not scary , only stupid . 
they are impossible to take seriously . 
any paralells that you might have heard before , linking this picture to kubrick's "" the shining "" , are absolutely baseless . 
 "" shining "" had class , style , story , acting , but most of all talent and originality . 
 "" haunting "" has only special effects and art direction to boast of . 
and those elements alone are not enough to make it a good film . 
casting good actors for small , pale parts only makes things worse . 
but i guess that no matter what i or other critics say or write , most of you will see this film anyway , even if the tagline would say : "" some films are just born stupid "" . 
"
"-1","porter stoddard ( warren beatty ) is a successful architect married to successful fabric designer ellie ( diane keaton ) for twenty-five years . 
they and best friends mona ( goldie hawn ) and griffin ( garry shandling ) are about to face marital crises in a film most well known for its torturous path to the screen , "" town and country . "" 
 "" town and country "" has a pedigree befitting it's title with an all star cast photographed by oscar nominated cinematographer william fraker and mouthing the words of screenwriter buck henry ( "" the graduate "" ) under the direction of peter chelsom ( "" funny bones "" ) . 
after years of reports of budget overruns and reshoots and the racking up twelve different release dates , the media has been prepped for beatty's next "" ishtar . "" 
so , is it that bad ? 
the answer is no . 
but it's not very good either . 
the major problem with "" town and country "" is that it's unstructured and random . 
stoddard is immediately established as a philanderer , having just bedded a flaky cellist ( nastassja kinski ) . 
next scene finds him and ellie celebrating their anniversary in paris with mona and griffin . 
then mona spies griffin hustling a redhead into a motel and begins divorce proceedings ( buck henry cameos as both couples' divorce lawyer ) . 
ellie thinks she's overeacting , but sends porter to support mona on a trip to check out her family's mississippi manse . 
the two childhood friends end up in bed together , making us wonder why they'd never become a couple to begin with . 
back home , their second coupling is interrupted by ellie bursting in to tell mona she thinks porter's cheating on her . 
porter goes off on a trip with griffin to sun valley , idaho to have more comic misadventures with wacky women as griffin attempts to tell him that he's gay . 
the four friends , along with every woman porter's dallied with , all end up back in new york city somewhat happily ever after . 
although the film begins promisingly , resembling a woody allen take on new york city wasps , too many strands drift off into nowhere . 
the stoddard household is huge , containing two adult children ( josh hartnett , "" the virgin suicides "" and tricia vessey , "" kiss the girls "" ) , their colorful bedmates and a maid who's just imported her shirtless boyfriend from the rainforest back home . 
after an amusing early scene that has porter overhearing three bouts of lovemaking while in search of a nocturnal snack , the six supporting players are dropped except for an out-of-nowhere appearance by the formerly forgotten son . 
porter's romantic misadventures with women ( other than mona ) are equally mishandled . 
once the marital discord begins , the film seems as if it was editted with a machete , stopping and starting , never regaining its rhythm . 
while beatty gets off a few tart observations , his character is mostly passive and bemused . 
maybe we're supposed to feel sympathy for an adulterer who doesn't initiate his own sex romps ? 
keaton's ellie has a trusting nature that's a result of her own self involvement resulting in an unlikeable character . 
hawn smartly recycles her mature sex kitten wives of "" the out of towners "" and "" the first wives' club "" while shandling's relegated to true second banana status . 
kinski is bland and unmotivated . 
andie macdowell takes a weirdly unappealing role and does what she can with the screenplay's most bizarre subplot , which finds charlton heston as her rifle toting , billionaire daddy and marian seldes as her alcoholic , wheelchair-bound , foul-mouthed mother . 
heston and seldes are fun , as is jenna elfman as a sun valley bait and tackle salesgirl who brings porter and griffin to a halloween party . 
oscar nominatored cinematographer william fraker gives the film a nice look , but director chelsom shows none of the quirkily and blackly humorous depth he brought to films like "" hear my song "" and "" funny bones . "" 
the script is this film's weakest link - it's telling that most of the ( few ) laughs come from old-fashioned physical slapstick and the sight of beatty in a bear suit . 
while "" town and country "" isn't exactly painful to sit through , it mostly just lays there . 
"
"-1"," * * the following review contains spoilers * * 
 "" please someone stop joel schumacher before he vomits into a film canister again and tries to pass it off as a movie . "" 
-- chuck dowling , the jacksonville film journal 
i wrote the above sentence in my review for 1997's batman and robin . 
apparently , no one heard my words . 
oh , how i wish you had heard them . 
oh how i wish someone had stopped him . . . 
because he's done it again . 
the plot of 8mm is similar to the 1977 paul schrader film hardcore , a surprisingly decent and engrossing tale . 
in fact , it was everything that 8mm is not . 
in the opening minutes of 8mm , we see private detective tom welles ( nicolas cage ) working on a case for a prestigious member of the u . s . government . 
keep this fact in mind , cage is trusted with an important case , which he solves . 
he returns home to his wife and new daughter , and even finds time to rake his yard ( keep that in mind too , it's important as well ) . 
he's hired by a rich elderly woman to solve a mystery . 
after her husband's death she comes across a film in his private safe . 
it appears to be snuff film , a sort of urban legend of the pornography industry in which someone is actually brutally murdered for the camera . 
the woman wants welles to locate the young girl in the film , hopefully to disprove that it is in fact a snuff film . 
so he sets off on a journey into the sordid underworld of sleaze to discover the truth about the film . 
the main problem with 8mm is that the whole film is completely pointless . 
welles is actually selected for the case by the old woman's lawyer ( anthony heald , an actor who always plays the same type of character , that being a bad guy ) . 
when you first see him , your first instinct is that he's behind the whole thing . 
the choice of casting does the film in . 
then , as welles begins his investigation , at times we will see a shadowy figure following him . 
the only person it could possibly be is the lawyer ( or someone sent by the lawyer ) because no one knows welles is even investigating anything yet . 
so your first instinct has now been confirmed . 
then , when it is in fact revealed that the lawyer is a part of the whole thing , he tells welles that he was chosen for the case because he was young and inexperienced ( in one of those ridiculous "" since we're going to kill you anyway , why not tell you the whole thing "" moments ) . 
but earlier when we see welles being hired for the case he's told that he was hired because he comes highly recommended . 
huh ? 
also , when the lawyer reveals himself to be a part of the whole thing , his main goal is to get the film back . 
so why did he give it up in the first place ? ! 
the lawyer had the film the whole time , then gave it away to the private detective thinking that he would just give up on the case and return the film ? ! 
it's totally absurd . . . 
and this is the screenwriter of seven ? 
late in the film there's a confrontation between all the main characters , and after a struggle one of the character's guns ends up underneath a car . 
cage , who has been handcuffed to a bed , is rapidly trying to get to his gun , which is on a table . 
james gandolfini's character goes for the gun under the car in what is supposed to be a scene of "" suspense "" . 
you see , the gun is just slightly out of reach from the side of the car he's trying to reach it from , and so instead of going around the car to the other side ( where he can easily reach it ) he just keeps stretching . 
go around to the other side of the car ! ! 
this goes on for minutes . 
then , after cage gets his gun , gandolfini then decides it would be best to go around to the other side of the car . 
boy , schumacher is really really getting on my nerves . 
i think the final straw would be when cage returns home , devastated by everything that he's seen on this case , and then is no longer able to rake his lawn ! 
we actually see a shot of him pathetically poking at leaves in his yard . 
other things that bugged me about 8mm : one would be the music , if you can call it that . 
whenever the score starts up , it sounds like techno music , and then this awful indian or middle eastern type music will accompany it . 
awful decision there joel . 
another is cage's performance . 
at this point he's capable of a wide range of performances , either good or bad . 
for 8mm , he delivers a very wooden one , and only shines when he's interacting with joaquin phoenix ( who gives a great performance as a porn shop clerk with a heart of gold who helps cage with his case ) . 
you're capable of much better mr . cage . 
now as for you mr . schumacher . . . 
i'm starting to doubt if you're capable of anything else besides urinating onto the institution of american cinema . 
[r] 
"
"-1","there have been bad films in recent years : 'mr . 
magoo' was by far the worst ever made , the spectacularly bad 'blue in the face' , the horrible 'baby genuises' and now 'i woke up early the day i died' . 
it may not however be the worst movie made but it certainly ranks as one bad movie . 
the film's acting ( if that's what you want to call it ) is well mediocre to me . 
loaded with a sensational cast you would think that the cast would at least save the film a bit , boy was i wrong . 
after escaping from a mental institution 'the thief' played by billy zane goes out in the real world and finds that it is pretty harsh and gritty . 
he turns to burglary to survive , robs a loan back , kills the loan officer and runs with thousands . 
a country-wide man hunt is on for him to catch him and bring him down . 
he ends up in a cemetery where he puts his money in a coffin to keep it for later , comes back and realizes that someone took it and put it somewhere . 
now he is determined to kill all the visitors at the funeral earlier that day until he gets his money back , ultimately leading to a finale that is less that satisfying . 
a film which was based on a 'long-lost' script by ed wood , i have only one question : no dialogue , only music and movement where exactly is the point ? 
the film moves along at a rather slow pace , but does have one advantage : the soundtrack which is catchy and vibrant except the first song which can be offensive to some . 
it opens with a fun , innovative opening credits sequence and quickly goes downhill after that . 
some of the low points are when 'the thief' steals a woman's purse , and then she faints , sandra bernhard as a dancer and tippi hendren as a deaf woman whom 'the thief' kills to the music of 'psycho' . 
come on people get some new ideas already ! 
what's even worse is that the film has no plot at all . 
well to a certain extent it does , but who cares by the time the middle of the film arrives we're bored out of our mind and ready for something fun and exciting to happen . 
'i woke up early the day i died' is a perfectly bad film . 
it shows us how low filmmakers get sometimes just when desperate to make a movie . 
even with the huge cast talent , the film is a waste of my time and certainly a waste of yours . 
"
"-1","it would be hard to choose the best american political thriller . 
some people would probably pick the manchurian candidate and others ( myself included ) would pick seven days in may . 
both those films were tense exercises in chills . 
the two films came out within two years of each other and both were directed by the same man , john frankenheimer . 
but that was 1962 and 1964 respectively . 
for most of the rest of his career frankenheimer has turned out some decent films , but has shown little of the promise that those two thrillers showed . 
each of those films had memorable characters and a tense plot . 
they had almost nothing in the way of chases or gunplay . 
the thrills all came from the plot . 
ronin is like a film made by another man . 
somewhere behind all the shooting and explosions and car chases there are the rudiments ofa plot , but we see only tiny pieces of it . 
we get a clue here and one there as to what is going on but j . d . zeik's screenplay is a bit obscure . 
the film begins explaining that a ronin is a masterless samurai . 
when a samurai has failed in the job of protecting his master from death , he becomes a ronin , much like a gunfighter in the american west . 
if you miss the opening , do not worry . 
this film will explain again what a ronin is . 
sam ( played by robert de niro ) is the modern equivalent of a ronin . 
he is a free agent who seems to have really good instincts about how to stay alive the world of a professional killer . 
he clearly was in a dangerous business at one time and now he seems to be drifting around on his own somewhere in france . 
sam is recruited from a montmartre bar by dierdre ( natascha mcelhone of the truman show ) , an irish woman , to be part of an action to steal a mysterious metal case . 
dierdre is very tight-lipped about what is in the case . 
sam joins a team of four others : vincent ( jean reno of the professional/leon and mission impossible ) , spence ( sean bean , tv's richard sharpe , and also patriot games and goldeneye ) , and gregor ( stellan skarsgard of breaking the waves and good will hunting ) . 
also along is larry ( skipp suddeth ) . 
the group seems to know their business , particularly sam , but each is in his own way cold and professional with his own field of expertise . 
their only human side seems to be in tensions among the members of the team . 
the story is not very easy to follow . 
it is never clear who is double-crossing whom and who is working for whom . 
somehow russians ( who may or may not be the russian mafia ) and irish radicals are involved trying to get their hands on a certain metal case . 
some very good actors are involved in this film . 
one wonders what they saw in the script . 
the characters are mostly one-dimensional professional killers . 
they know their work , and seeing their thought patterns adds some interest to the film , but for this group deep feeling between two people is teaming up with another killer so that neither is killed . 
by the end of the film we never really got to know anybody . 
maybe that is the secret of why such good actors took parts , since these are not very demanding characters to create . 
in addition to the above characters the film also features jonathan pryce and michael lonsdale ( the latter of moonraker and of the superior thriller the day of the jackal ) . 
as a revival of a sort of action film that was popular in the 1960s , i was hoping that there would be something here to grab onto and enjoy . 
unfortunately there are no deep characters , and little to make us care who eventually ends up with the metal case or why they want it . 
i rate ronin a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
non-spoiler : incidentally , the tale of the 47 ronin has been filmed multiple times , usually under the title chushingura or as the 47 ronin . 
also one frequently sees in japanese art the image of a man breaking down a door with a huge mallet . 
this is the first blow of the 47 ronin . 
"
"-1","the main problem with martin lawrence's pet project , a thin line between love and hate , like any fatal attraction variation where the protagonist is a man , is that his character is an irresponsible jerk , and if that is the case , it doesn't seem to do anything except justify the woman's actions . 
that is especially the case in lawrence's darnell wright . 
he is one of those macho guys with women lined up a mile long . 
now don't think i condone this just because i'm male . 
my philosophy is , if you are one of the few heterosexual males lucky enough to get your hands on a beautiful , kind girl , you should treat her like a princess and respect her . 
darnell doesn't think like this . 
he sleeps with these girls once and dumps them . 
and by the period in the film he discovered that his newest target , beautiful , wealthy brandi web ( played nicely by whitfield ) who runs a successful real estate business , is out to kill him for dumping her for his childdhood friend mia ( king ) , i found myself thinking , "" i'm supposed to feel sorry for this guy ? "" 
after all , it is largely darnell's fault . 
if he is lining up all these women , you'd think he'd have enough common sense to think it would backfire on him one day , as his mother says it does . 
but he doesn't , so you get the sense that he's not only irresponsible , but also pretty dumb . 
you especially get this sense that he's dumb after brandi tells him she killed her husband for allegedly abusing her . 
 ( i'd put my pants on in two seconds after that ! ) 
now , brandi is a psycho bitch , but it's hard not to agree with what she says to darnell during the finale about guys like him treating her like garbage . 
one final flaw , though , is letting brandi fall for darnell to begin with . 
brandi is a classy , intelligent woman with an mba from harvard , who initally resists darnell's "" immature play "" as she calls it , as any woman like her would in real life . 
but all of a sudden she says yes . 
but when you listen to darnell's four letter word vocabulary watch his actions , you wonder why such an intelligent woman would fall for a guy like darnell period , much less have such an unhealthy obsession for him ! 
lawrence can be good when he wants to , but in order to prove it , he needs to let other people write and direct his movies . 
look at this movie . 
four writers , as a result it's too long ( two hours , when it could've easily worked at ninety minutes ! ) and it has a lot of subplots and characters that appear and disappear as quickly as they came ( which makes me think the writers didn't get along ) , all of which isn't necessary . 
there are some bright spots , though . 
whitfield , regina king , della reese , and bobby brown all do what they can with lazily written parts , and they help it out a lot . 
and there are some funny parts ( like , for example , the scene where reese attempts to fight whitfeld for harrassing her son and damaging her property ) , but they're just not enough to sustain the film . 
"
"-1","capsule : lesbianism examined in the same hushed and reverential tones reserved for a terminal illness . 
potentially interesting idea made stagy and boring . 
claire of the moon is such an impossibly serious and sober movie that i was waiting for someone to sneeze , just to break the ice . 
it's a perfect example of what my wife calls an s . f . e . 
movie , where s . f . e . 
means so f * * * ing earnest . 
movies like this need wit and brashness to be absorbing . 
claire is one strained speech after another , written delivered with all of the energy and spontenaity of a dmv clerk . 
claire takes two women , claire and noel , both writers , and throws them together in the same cabin at a women-only writer's retreat . 
claire wrights light comedy , while noel is a scholarly authority on porn and sexual behavior . 
obviously , the two of them are going to have plenty to talk about , and for the entire one hundred and twelve insufferable minutes of this movie , that's all they do : talk . 
the movie sets up its ( microscopic ) plot with beat-a-dead-horse-into-glue obviousness . 
the evening talks at the camp are chaired by a motherly type named maggie , a self-professed lesbian , and when noel owns up to also being a lesbian , claire looks like she's been hit with a sockful of wet sand . 
the movie then quickly degenerates into lots of scenes where noel glances at claire with significance , and claire looks out over the water reflectively . 
 ( ugh ! ) 
the most amazing thing about the movie is how people so intelligent can talk so much and yet get so little through their thick heads . 
all of this , of course , leads up to a scene of complete inevitability : claire and noel , in a scene that should have come an hour earlier , because then the movie ends without even the benefit of reflection about what's just happened . 
we never get a hint about how any of this has changed anyone , only how they felt about things that didn't even happen yet . 
the problem with claire . . . 
is not lesbianism as such , but the leaden way it's handled . 
why is it that any "" serious "" ( a better word would be adult or at least thoughtful ) examination of sex in a movie almost always winds up producing a movie that's unwatchably boring ? 
the way this movie deals with lesbianism , we might as well be watching an overheated docudrama about aids . 
many other movies have used the same subject in ways that are a thousand times better -- more engaging , more creative , more intellectually and artistically interesting . 
look at john sayles' lianna , or the interesting and little-seen desert bloom ; both of them have more life and vibrancy than claire . 
what this movie needed was a good swift kick in the pants . 
"
"-1","the great actor james woods once said ( and i'm paraphrasing ) , "" if sex isn't messy , then you're not doing it right "" . 
a truly profound statement , and one that could be made for the entire mad slasher genre ( just replace "" sex "" with "" your mad slasher film "" ) . 
for those uninformed souls , the mad slasher genre ( or sub-genre ) is a melding of horror and exploitation elements put to the service of a plot that follows an identical outline : a usually masked but always crazed killer stalks and kills attractive teens a la halloween . 
urban legend is a mad slasher flick , but one that is so sanitary , bloodless , and nudity free , that with its irony laden dialogue and beautiful ( though not overly talented ) cast , it more closely resembles an overlong wb television special . 
for film makers , gore is one of the two weapons they have at their disposal in a stale , fright-free horror movie , as stephen king once said ( again paraphrasing ) "" if you can't scare your audience , gross em' out , if you can't do that , make em' laugh "" . 
alas , urban legend succeeds only at the latter , though not by intention . 
i actually find the fact that this film became a minor success ( $40 million domestic box office gross ) more frightening than anything in it . 
it seems that audiences' tastes have been whittled down to such a degree that any movie even claiming to be scary is given the benefit of the doubt . 
the promotion for urban legend sure promised thrills , but how can anyone with a three digit iq argue that it provides them . 
unfortunately , these kinds of flicks will continue to be produced because people no longer have expectations ; one idiotic super-hyped blockbuster flick after another has desensitized audiences to the point where films don't need to do anything more than promise a good time without the added pressure of delivering . 
if anyone disagrees i would love for them to explain the box office successes of shit like batman and robin , wild wild west , and godzilla . 
but forget all that , it goes without saying that mad slasher films ( or any other exploitation off-shoot ) will be made without an ounce of craft ( especially considering the sheer volume that are produced ) . 
allow me to present you with the real fault of the mad slasher film : the lack of enthusiastic exploitation . 
these flicks aren't harnessed with any lofty aspirations , so why not break free and give your audience a bloody good time ? 
sadly out of the literally hundreds made , i would estimate that maybe three are at all worth while . 
and urban legend would certainly not be included amongst those three . 
despite its considerable production value and the absence of any boom mics slipping into frame , it is just as awful as any no budget entry in the slasher sweepstakes . 
as far as the possibility of some good natured exploitation urban legend's setting alone offers a myriad of promising possibilities : it takes place on a college campus , which is always an appropriate playground for the crazed killer . 
you see , the campus is a community made up almost entirely of young people all in the midst of strange hormonal surges percolating beneath the surface . 
all those young people are growing up together , going through all kinds of inexplicable emotional highs and lows , so naturally some weirdness is expected . 
all the better for that elusive crazed killer . 
coupled with the copious amounts of scantily clad coeds running around , and the introduction of a little exploitation into the proceedings should be a relatively easy task . 
but alas , urban legend is not only idiotic and clich ? ? full ; it's way too clean , a slasher flick for the whole family with no nudity , little gore , and much stupidity . 
this is the kind of movie where the killer drags dead victims from the scene of the crime for no reason other than , i dunno , exercise . 
it's the kind of movie where the villain calmly purses a running-like-the-wind-prey , yet still manages to catch that prey through some really awful editing techniques . 
it's the kind of movie where characters run into each other just as a loud clash reverberates on the soundtrack . 
i really wish filmmakers would just retire that whole loud-noise-jump-scare thing . 
yes the audience jumps , momentarily frightened , but wouldn't anyone if a loud sonic boom suddenly infiltrated a quiet room . 
i lost all hope for the possibility of any genuine scares in urban legend about ten minutes in when i caught a glimpse of the killer . 
apparently filmmakers are running out of creative ways to disguise their mad slashers . 
in scream it was a ghost mask ( scary enough ) , in i know what you did last summer it was a fisher man's rain slicker ( in the middle of summer no less ) , and in urban legend the disguise sinks to the level of mel brooks parody : the villain wears an oversized parka with a fury hood ( ooh ? ? ? scary ) intended to conceal his/her identity . 
for urban legend 2 i humbly suggest a donald duck costume . 
though i must admit , urban legend does have a winning premise for what could have been a somewhat entertaining exploitation film . 
the film's killer slices and dices comely college students to the tune of famous urban legends ( you know , like the babysitter gets threatening phone calls only to find that they're coming from inside the house ) . 
i won't spoil the surprise as to what urban legends are used , after all the film does offer fine 2 : 00 am cable viewing if you happen to be intoxicated enough . 
sad to say , it doesn't include my favorite urban legend : a fairly graphic antidote concerning richard gere and a very unhappy gerbil . 
now that would be scary . 
before i leave you , i would like to bring to your attention the third most irritating thing about the film ( the first being the lack of craft , the second the lack of exploitation ) -- its characters , all of whom are just about the most annoying group of people i've ever spent an evening with . 
only jared leto ( looking like a carbon copy of rob lowe from back in the day ) and alicia witt , as the resilient heroine , avoid vexatiousness . 
the most annoying of the bunch is a tie between noxima girl rebecca gayheart and sitcom star michael rosenbaum , as a supremely irritating lout ( so irritating i actually cheered his painful death , and i am not a cruel person ) . 
ironically those aggravating sacks of human waste provide the only entertainment in the film ; if viewed as a vicarious fantasy urban legend can be mildly entertaining . 
after all this is a movie that features the kind of faux hipsters i can't stand getting slaughtered , which is at least better than watching an entire film about people i can't stand not getting slaughtered . 
"
"-1","the premise of turbulence is i'm sure very familiar to us all . 
we've seen it before in passenger 57 , executive decision , and countless other flicks that are good in there own way . 
you know , terrorists take over a plane , ask the police on the ground for what they what and so on . 
turbulence starts out with a "" convict "" ray liotta being accused of a crime . 
you think there is no way he could have done it , he's so open and kind . 
he is taken in and is subsequently transported on a commerical plane to la . 
this is already a problem . 
there is no way that convicts would be transported on the same commercial flight that normal passangers would be on . 
anyway , it is christmas eve and everyone is waiting to get to la and spend christmas eve there . 
well , convict one manages to stop the flight in its proverbial "" tracks "" and liotta , still as calm as ever , takes the other convict out . 
he also has eyes for lauren holly , a flight attendent , and seems to grow closer to her . 
 "" the plot stops here "" 
i didn't like this movie because it seemed to be a rip off of every other airplane movie i've ever seen . 
at one point , mr . liotta looked exactly like jack nicholson in the shining ( i'm serious ! ) . 
it was like they stole for every other movie down to a "" t "" . 
the only reason i did not give this 0 stars is because it had some okay stunts . 
don't even bother ! 
"
"-1","a movie laced with a good blend of action , comedy , and a heavy dose of musical celebrity guest appearances sounds pretty gourmet , but even the best ingredients can be thrown together in the wrong way , creating a dismal and unsatisfactory product . 
eighteen years after the blues brothers hit theaters , blues brothers 2000 is being unleashed , minus half of its original duo ( the late john belushi ) and nearly all of its original charm . 
dan aykroyd reprises his role ( as well as his co-writing credit ) as elwood blues , the sharp dressed con man who wreaked havoc on a self-proclaimed "" mission from god "" along with his brother jake and their blues brothers band nearly eighteen years ago . 
as we begin , elwood is being released from a state penitentiary along with the news of his brother's death in prison years ago . 
completely on his own , elwood decides to trace his roots back to the orphanage where he spent his childhood , only to discover that everyone he has ever known has passed away . 
but elwood isn't completely without family . 
it seems he has a half-brother of sorts - not a real brother mind you , just the illegitimate child of his bluesman pseudo-father curtis ( cab calloway from the first film ) , who has also passed on . 
despite inklings from mother superior mary stigmata ( kathleen freeman ) to do otherwise , elwood seeks out his only remaining family in an effort to start up an all new blues brothers band . 
working as a police commander , cabel chamberlain ( joe morton ) , has an immediate disliking for elwood , who nonchalantly fills cab in on his mother's affair years ago and then goes on to steal his wallet . 
following elwood around is the lonely orphan buster ( j . 
evan bonifant ) , who quickly learns to become a mini-elwood . 
when bartender mighty mack mcteer ( john goodman ) joins the group , the blues brothers band is complete , and once again , the group travels the country , crashing cars , blowing things up , and obstructing peace with more than just solid blues rock . 
meanwhile , cab's personal vendetta against elwood leads him on an impassioned manhunt for his next-to-next-of-kin . 
>from this point , the movie turns into a series of music videos with a few bits of acting in between . 
those hoping for an interesting and/or funny yarn are given too many musical interludes while those heavily interested in the music are given too much of a story . 
only the extremely avid blues fans should attempt getting thru these two hours . 
for those people , it may be worth it , for luckily there is much more music than shoddy attempts at acting , but when the story does intrude upon the festivities , the film is heavily bogged down with unfunny jokes , musicians turned stiff actors , and the pointless 10-year- old buster attempting to add some sort of home alone cuteness to the whole thing . 
appearances by musical legends such as aretha franklin , james brown , eric clapton , and a whole slew of others are the high points of the film , but they also confirm why these people are musicians and not actors . 
blues brothers 2000 is deserving of one whole star simply because if you really , really love this kind of music , you might kind of , sort of like this movie . 
many , many scenes are nauseatingly unfunny , and if you don't have a passion for very deep blues/rock , you'll be bored out of your skull . 
much of this film seems nothing more than aykroyd's self-serving vanity project , but no matter how much fun aykroyd may be having with this , none of the excitement is passed on to the audience . 
and seeing three guys in three-piece suits goofily dancing around with poker faces can only be funny for so long . 
unfortunately , those two seconds are over about fifteen minutes into the film . 
"
"-1","if only austin powers : the spy who shagged me had been just half as original , zany , silly and totally enjoyable as its predecessor , it would have easily been one of this summer's biggest pleasures . 
if only . 
in fact , the spy who shagged me is the exact opposite of the original ; instead of refreshing the audience with one clever parody after another , the filmmakers bombard us with used-up , tired jokes taken directly from the first one . 
take the scene where austin powers ( again played by mike myers , but with only a fraction of the giddy enthusiasm he displayed previously ) confronts a henchmen on the side of a cliff . 
after being pushed off the ravine , the bad guy is of course assumed dead . 
but suddenly , we hear a pleading voice coming from down below ; he's only injured . 
a similar scene played very well in the original international man of mystery , but here i was insulted by it . 
did the filmmakers really believe the audience would laugh at a rip-off ? 
apparently i overestimated the intelligence of the average movie-goer , considering that the film has pulled in over $200 million in domestic theatrical grosses alone . 
do i hear the sound of a franchise heading our way ? 
having said that , though , i still cannot deny the film its merits . 
the basic plot was delightfully silly enough to sustain my interest somewhat ; dr . evil ( mike myers , in the second of his three roles ) , having constructed a time machine , goes back to the year 1969 in an attempt to snatch austin power's "" mojo "" ( don't you just love that word ? ) 
whilst he is cryogenically frozen . 
when austin gets wind of this ( after a great intro explaining the absence of elizabeth hurley's vanessa kensington ) , he too travels back in time to re-claim his sexual drive , accompanied by the hot-to-trot felicity shagwell , played by heather graham . 
this sounds stupid , i know , but in the movie it starts to make some kind of weird , off-the-wall sense , and it worked for me . 
then there's mini-me ( verne troyer ) , a . . . 
petite clone of myer's dr . evil , exactly 1/8 in size . 
troyer's persona alone gains the film an extra half-star , contributing to one particularly hilarious scene where he attempts to nibble on his own mini-mr . 
bigglesworth . 
just try to ignore the fact that , at 2'8'' , he would make dr . evil's height rise to just over 21 feet . 
no matter . 
however , there are only about four hearty laughs throughout the entire hour and a half ( the most notable being the now infamous tent scene ) , and that just isn't enough to warrant even a minor recommendation . 
if there is in fact an "" austin powers 3 "" , they should just kill off secret agent powers and put the emphasis on dr . evil and mini-me . 
unconventional , yes , but there's no denying that it'd make for a better movie . 
"
"-1","in the series of the erotic thrillers that flooded the videoshelves in the early 1990s came this french-canadian co-production by max fischer . 
the movie is set in paris where its hero , struggling american author david mirkine ( judd nelson , at the time specialised in playing losers and people at the edge of sanity ) suffers a terrible writers bloc . 
he manages to overcome crisis after beginning romantic relationship with beautiful model anabelle ( laurence treill ) . 
unfortunately , she hangs out in jet set circles , which gradually makes mirkine pathologically jealous . 
her connection with powerful david caravan ( pierce brosnan ) would make mirkine step the line between reason and sanity and put in motion whole series of violent and tragic events . 
although few pseudoerotic scenes and some elements of the plot do indeed make this film an erotic thriller , drama would probably be more appropriate genre label . 
pacing of the film is simply too slow to thrill the viewers , and those patient enough to sit through its entirety have to wait a long time between any interesting or significant developments . 
low budget also becomes painfully visible , and physical attributes of laurence treill are the only thing worth watching in this film . 
unfortunately , this film has too little of those supposedly erotic scenes , so those who wanted to watch erotic thriller have all the reasons to feel disappointed . 
instead , they would have to settle with pointless , slow scenes involving nelson , brosnan and laurence treill's attempts of serious acting . 
all of those definitely not worth spending hour and half of someone's precious time . 
"
"-1","here i sit at my computer about to write my review of the recent action comedy "" bait "" starring jamie foxx and david morse . 
this is a review i don't even want to write because i'd just be laying the same criticisms on it that i would with any other so-generic-and-predictable-it's-beyond-ridiculous piece of hollywood fluff . 
if they're not going to give us , the audience , just a little credit and put something together with half a brain , why should i waste my time and mental energy criticising it ? 
last summer i took this same approach with my review of "" the mummy , "" in that review i just quoted phrases my reviews of other sub-par movies . 
i think i shall do the same thing here but with a few less quotes ( not all are applicable ) . 
i hope this goes to show you what i think of "" bait "" and why you can find out all you need to know about it without having to take a wild guess . 
it's genuinely unfunny ( i , and the other audience members only laughed once during the entire two hours ) , unoriginal and unthrilling . 
it's not so bad to the point where it's fun to watch because of its badness and it's no so bad you absolute loathe it and are pained by watching it , it's just such a cliche in and of itself , that , uhh . . . 
lost my train of thought . 
anyways , here's those quotes , enjoy ! 
 "" getting an audience's attention right from the beginning plays a major role in how today's films work . 
we want to have something exciting to watch , not a slow build-up of a story ( god forbid ! ) , and this film plays right into the mainstream's hands . . . "" 
- review of "" armageddon . "" 
 "" it's clear the film doesn't want to waste time on reality and thus the attempt to establish plausability ( the most minimal amount necessary ) comes across as a half-assed effort . 
supporting characters and shady sup-plots are introduced , but as is the case with films made up of a large cast of characters , only a handful have any real significance . . . 
there's a fine line separating homage from plagiarism . . . , "" - review of "" godzilla "" ( 1998 ) 
 "" unfortunately , as is the case with most modern thrillers , once the film showed potential for authenticity and intelligence , the cliches and action sequences take over , "" - review of "" the jackal . "" 
chad'z movie page is back after heavy renovation . 
reviews of nearly all mainstream movies playing today ! 
get my reviews of everything playing at your local cineplex so you can better make an informed decision on what to see . 
don't forget to vote on my poll and sign the guestbook ! 
"
"-1","tv's buffy finds herself on the other side of the supernatural spectrum in "" simply irresistible . "" 
sarah michelle gellar , that never-ceasing crusader against never-ending evil every tuesday night on the wb network , here plays a down-on-her-luck chef suspected of dabbling in witchcraft after her flailing restaurant receives help in the form of magically scrumptious meals . 
taste test results : some vampire slaying , though out of place , would have really livened this excruciating movie up . 
 "" simply irresistible "" is actually quite easy to deny , a disaster of culinary and other proportions pretty much from the opening on . 
gellar's amanda finds herself falling for harried henri bendel exec tom ( sean patrick flannery of powder ) around the same time she discovers an uncanny ability to mystically manifest emotions in her cooking , a secret ingredient that arouses both his interest in her and the public's in her tiny tribeca eatery . 
all this love and sorcery have a lot to do with the telekinetic crab that also figures into the story , a tale that at times plays like an american spin on 1993's mexican classic "" like water for chocolate . "" 
several differences : one , "" like water "" didn't have a telekinetic crab , and two , "" like water "" was a good film . 
 "" simply irresistible , "" on the other hand , is about as challenging as an easy-bake oven . 
amateurishly staged scenes cancel each other out in their badness , from an embarrassing seduction in a literal vanilla fog to an impromptu dance sequence where tom and amanda do their best fred and ginger - though fred and ginger never took part in anything this garish . 
the intrusive musical score distracts from the flat dialogue at regular intervals , but it's not like you're were going to miss much . 
in fact , take away the few instances of salty language and this has made-for-disney channel written all over it . 
but a majority of "" simply irresistible "" 's resistibility factor has less to do with the afore-mentioned overkill than the bland leads - tom and amanda are so thin and ambiguously defined that there's just no fun rooting for their inevitable "" happily ever after . "" 
nor do the otherworldly powers that serve to bring them together make sense , so we're left with a ho-hum relationship based on enchanted eclairs ; it's not going to last long , people . 
perhaps sensing this , the filmmakers have piled on weird supporting characters for acting vets like betty buckley , dylan baker and patricia clarkson , but they don't go anywhere either . 
in fact , nothing in "" simply irresistible "" goes anywhere save for gellar , and she doesn't go somewhere so much as you wish she'd go _somewhere_ - like to a better movie . 
already proving major talent with relatively few big- and small-screen roles , she's the sole reason this overcooked souffle isn't completely fit for the garbage disposal , looking smashing in her todd oldham-designed duds and investing much more in her perfunctory part than she ever gets in return . 
it's certainly a dish best not served in it's current condition , but one can only guess that , without gellar , "" simply irresistible "" would be strictly unwatchable . 
"
"-1","the 13th warrior reeks so badly of melodrama and poor acting that it carries a worst scent than a canine's least appetizing residue . 
the best part of the film would be a close contest between the closing credits and a brief moment in the middle where the screen goes entirely white and you hope that the film has slipped and caught ablaze in the projector . 
my vote goes for the ending credits , where you can start trying to put the awful experience behind you . 
ibn fahdlan ( antonio banderas ) is an important official who is banished from his home for sleeping with another man's wife . 
he encounters a group of norse warriors who convince him to join them on a mysterious journey to be taken by 13 men . 
fahdlan is chosen as the 13th and last warrior in a moment that is so desperately overacted and overdone that numerous persons at the screening i attended broke out into laughter . 
the movie proves to be a new low point for banderas , who's acting seems closer to that of his role as the lover and caretaker for a dying gay man in 1993's philadelphia , than that of a warrior . 
in the film's supposed pay off scene , he exclaims "" i was wrong , these are not men ! "" , 
a line intended to be the most memorable quote of the production . 
unfortunately , banderas delivers it in a fashion that makes chevy chase's career look like oscar material . 
the film , based on michael crichton's best selling novel , eaters of the dead was shot under that name some three years ago , and after numerous rewrites not only does the dialogue seem completely phony , but the plot is incredibly difficult to follow . 
at the same time , the 13th warrior makes you think about numerous questions . 
questions like "" why do the characters always have perfect lighting on them even when it is pitch dark ? "" , 
 "" why does no one ever have blood cover both sides of their face , but rather just one side ? "" 
and finally , "" will the manager give me a refund ? "" 
90 minutes into the 103 minute film , a man invites of the warriors "" come with me , there is a woman who can help . "" 
unfortunately , there is nothing that could help this film . 
the most appropriate ending would have been for the 13 men to join hands , form a chorus line , and break into a rendition of "" springtime for hitler . "" 
"
"-1","i've heard it called "" jaws with claws "" and that's a fair summation of the plot , though that tag line does little to quantify quality . 
director stephen hopkins ( blown away , predator 2 ) and screenwriter william goldman ( maverick , misery ) would have you believe that this is an epic historical drama about man against nature , based on what really happened in africa to the railroad workers trying to build a bridge to the 20th century . 
they've stacked the deck with two big stars ( val kilmer , michael douglas ) , a bigger production design , beautiful photography ( by academy award winner vilmos zsigmond ) , and a score so overblown that it makes the lion king soundtrack sound like chamber music . 
the movie doesn't make a lick of sense , though , either as an epic or as your basic boo-fest . 
in fact , some of the bits are so laughably ludicrous that you may think you've stumbled into the sequel to mystery science theater 3000 : the movie . 
how about the three guys with rifles , who trap a lion and then can't even hit the damned thing ? 
or the ham-on-wry acting of michael douglas , who chews more scenery than the animals ever do ? ? 
or , my favorite , lions so agile that they can even climb onto rooftops ? ! ? 
"
"-1","billy crystal reappears in yet another high concept comedy . 
he tries to infuse some life into it , but it gets bogged down with sentimentality and a lack of sophistication . 
sammy ( billy crystal ) is a struggling agent at the end of his ropes . 
he's separated from his wife , serena ( kathleen quinlan ) , and down to his last serious client . . . in a low-budget film shooting in romania . 
but in a turn of bad luck , sammy wrecks his car . . . only 
to be mysteriously saved by a giant ( gheorghe muresan ) . 
but this giant has a heart of gold . 
he leads a solitary life , helping out the monks at a local monastery . 
his only longing is for his long lost love , lilianna ( joanna pacula ) , who has since moved to america . 
sammy , seeing a golden ticket , convinces max to become an actor ( represented by sammy , of course ) , and come back to america . 
and so sam and max bounce from pathetic job to pathetic job , with sammy dangling a meeting with lilianna as a carrot before max's nose . 
but slowly sammy's deceptions begin to haunt him . 
but will he develop a conscience before the innocent max becomes disillusioned . 
the humor in my giant isn't the world's greatest . 
mostly , it falls under the category of "" boy . . . he's 
so big ! "" , 
and that can only go so far , no matter how hard the talent tries . 
still , its slightly amusing parts are longed for when the movie gets bogged down in sappy moments . 
the film's best moment ( and that's not saying much ) is a bit part by steven seagal , playing himself . 
between executive decision and this , all of seagal's best roles have been cameos . 
maybe he should consider a change of work : steven seagal , the character actor ! 
gheorghe muresan isn't a natural actor at all , and his thick cotton-mouthed accent certainly doesn't help . 
in fact the only thing he adds to the role is his immense stature . 
originally , the concept was designed several years ago for andre the giant . 
andre also had a hefty accent , but he displayed a knack for comedy in the princess bride . . . something 
muresan should have studied for some pointers . 
why does billy crystal continually get caught in these pathetic comedies ? 
he's proven that he can be much funnier than these formulaic films allow him to be , and yet , like a glutton for punishment , he keeps coming back . 
that doesn't mean we have to . 
"
"-1","movies can do the two big es very well : educate and entertain . 
in the best of all possible worlds , they accomplish both . 
on the red planet , they fail entirely . 
in the near future , a manned mission is sent to mars to observe primitive plant growth . 
this film does a remarkable job of demonstrating exactly how exciting watching algae grow would be . 
after some mumbo-jumbo about an ecological disaster on earth and an interminable wait to reach the fourth planet , the ship falls apart almost as fast as the movie does . 
the ground crew of people you couldn't care less about is trapped on the surface without food , water or air and stalked by a deadly rogue cyberdog . 
the one potentially interesting character ( carrie-anne moss ) spends her time alone in the orbiting ship talking to a computer . 
attempting to graft "" 2001 "" esque space mysticism with "" terminator "" robot horror , first time director antony hoffman can't seem to figure out what's going on . 
neither can we . 
didn't he have anyone who could step back from the shooting and make sure there was a coherent story ? 
couldn't he have used the money saved by only having to pay half a dozen actors to hire a scriptwriter ? 
there are so many mis-steps . 
every opportunity to create dynamic tension is thwarted by plot holes and lackluster direction . 
why introduce the theme of faith vs . science if the crewman who could comment on it disappears early only to die _offscreen_ ? 
the audience begins the film waiting for something to happen . 
two hours later , they're still waiting . 
despite our greatest hopes , there is no life on the red planet . 
"
"-1","capsule : an insult . 
a stupid and incompetent movie that doesn't even have the benefit of being trashily enjoyable . 
weslely and woody would do well to leave this off their resumes . 
money train is one of the worst movies i have ever seen . 
it's not simply idiotic , it's contemptuous of its audience . 
it tries to make us swallow things that a better movie would be stopped cold by or just plain omit entirely . 
it's a waste of wesley snipes and woody harrelson , who are enjoyable actors in their own rights but are nauseating here . 
it's not even fun as trash . 
woody and wesley star ( maybe that's not the right word ) as new york city transit authority police . 
they have a job which could actually be the core of a really interesting movie : one of them plays drunk possum to attract chain-snatchers and the other does lookout . 
i had a whole headful of legal and ethical questions surrounding this , raised by a documentary i'd seen on the subject once , but the movie does not waste any time with being intelligent or thought-provoking . 
see if you can follow this . 
they chase a kid down the tunnel and into the station where the "" money train "" , the heavily armored car that picks up all the cash from the token books , is parked . 
the guards on the train see this kid running at them , lift their machine guns , shout "" halt ! "" 
and then open fire when the kid doesn't stop running at them . 
blam , the kid's dead . 
then woody and wesley show up , and of course the other ta cops hate them ( why ? ) , and a pushing match starts , and someone gets decked , and . . . i covered my face . 
i'd seen enough . 
i've never seen a movie work so hard and in so little time to destroy , systematically , any chance of being credible or interesting . 
fed up with the bs at their job ( most of it their own goddamned fault ) , woody and wesley hatch this plot about how to rob the money train . 
hence the title , in case some of you ( all two of you ) didn't figure it out yet . 
then there's this subplot about a maniac who torches token book clerks , * and * a love story , * and * a holdup -- no , two holdups , sorry , easy to lose track in a movie this braindead -- * and * a mob boss who wants his money . 
there wasn't a minute when i gave a horse's ass about any of it . 
neither woody nor wesley play characters that are interesting for a single minute . 
we do not care about them . 
they are not interesting . 
they are noisy , loud , stupid , foolish jerks who whould have flunked out of the police academy . 
they deserve to get shot -- or run over , as the case may be . 
they only exist to rehash the kind of dynamics that was * written * into a movie like white men can't jump , and which simply does not exist here . 
they are idiots , and we're expected to root for them . 
bullcrap . 
the movie is completely schizophrenic in its tone and texture . 
what exactly is this mess ? 
a cop movie ? 
police procedure is not given a moment's genuine thought anywhere . 
a thriller ? 
the subplot with the token booth killer is inept , a throwaway that should have been ditched in the rewrite . 
a comedy ? 
the few jokes that do work are wasted . 
a drama ? 
all dramatic tension between both principals is freeze-dried and off-the-rack . 
there's not a moment in the movie where i felt like i was listening to genuine human beings talk ; it's all screenwriterese , that bizarre analect where every sentence ends in a punchline and the primary mode of expression is the unique conjunctions of four-letter words . 
 ( actual dialogue excerpt : "" fuck you . "" 
 "" what ? "" 
 "" you heard me : fuck * you * . "" 
 "" no : fuck * you * ! "" ) 
look . i'll be honest here . 
i've tried writing screenplays , and even * i * suspect that if i tried to pitch this mess , i'd get laughed out of the office . 
anyone interested in hearing my ideas for a few good movies can write me and hear my pitch , because god knows i know i can do better . 
i've weasted enough time on this piece of tripe . 
"
"-1","alexander dumas' the three musketeers is one of the most often-adapted literary works , and for good reason : the swashbuckler is a legend rather than just a story . 
perhaps the musketeer , a new film that "" reimagines "" the novel in the spirit and style of the matrix , is one adaptation too many . 
it's just awful : spiritless , silly and unforgivably boring , transforming the timeless classic into a mish-mash of old-as-time clich ? s and incoherent , repetitive action sequences . 
this time , d'artagnan is played by calvin klein model justin chambers , who can't even pronounce his character's name . 
as a boy , he watched his father get killed by febre ( tim roth ) , a lackey of power-hungry cardinal richelieu . 
he vowed to have vengeance . 
after undergoing intense training under an expert swordsman , he goes looking for his enemy . 
on his quest , he embroils himself in a struggle for control at the highest levels of the french government . 
the royal musketeers have lost their gusto , what with their jobs being taken over by the cardinal's own guards . 
only a few loyal swashbuckers remain , among them athos and portos ( who are only figureheads in this movie ) . 
together with d'artagnan , they fight to extricate the queen ( catherine deneuve ) from the traps that febre and richelieu are trying to plant . 
oh , and as an afterthought , d'artagnan falls in love with the poor maid at the local inn ( mena suvari ) . 
just thought i'd mention that . 
now , look : i don't know whose idea this was , but whoever is responsible deserves a severe tongue-lashing . 
i have nothing against "" modernizing "" classic works of literature - at the very least , they can inspire viewers to actually read the book - but films as dull as this have no positive side effects . 
director peter hyams , known for such masterpieces of modern cinema as timecop and end of days , has jettisoned everything that was great about dumas' masterwork : the sense of excitement , cause , and camaraderie . 
instead , we get impressively choreographed but somehow vacuous , uninvolving action sequences that emerge from emptiness and lead to nothing . 
when the musketeers finally get to holler "" all for one , and one for all , "" i could have sworn that was dumas rolling in his grave that i felt . 
maybe the reason for the utter lack of suspense here is the hyams's tone , which is unreasonably dark and brooding when you consider the reader's digest condensed version of the story that he gives us . 
it's as though anything that may have been construed as "" fun "" was purposely expunged from the production . 
the joylessness of the proceedings , from the oppressively shady lighting to the mechanical fight scenes , can be felt in every frame . 
chambers can't act ; suvari , roth and deneuve can , but aren't given the chance . 
and when push comes to shove , the use of stunt doubles is distractingly obvious , though at least roth gets to play a villain without having to wear an ape suit . 
some movies seem sloppy and careless , clearly made for a quick buck . 
with the musketeer we get the sense that it was meticulously crafted to be awful . 
the film is intricate , stylish and precise , hitting the wrong note every single time . 
"
"-1","in this re-make of the 1954 japanese monster film , godzilla is transformed into a "" jurassic park "" copy who swims from the south pacific to new york for no real reason and trashes the town . 
although some of the destruction is entertaining for a while , it gets old fast . 
the film often makes no sense ( a several-hundred foot tall beast hides in subway tunnels ) , sports second-rate effects ( the baby godzillas seem to be one computer effect multiplied on the screen ) , lame jokes ( mayor ebert and his assistant gene are never funny ) , horrendous acting ( even matthew broderick is dull ) and an unbelievable love story ( why would anyone want to get back together with maria pitillo's character ? ) . 
there are other elements of the film that fall flat , but going on would just be a waste of good words . 
only for die-hard creature feature fans , this might be fun if you could check your brain at the door . 
i couldn't . 
 ( michael redman has written this column for 23 years and has seldom had a more disorienting cinematic experience than seeing both "" fear and loathing "" and "" godzilla "" in the same evening . ) 
"
"-1","when i first saw the preview for cruel intentions , i turned to my friend and said , "" dangerous liaisons for kids ! "" 
it was clear to me that the film would be an obvious chunk of plagiarized nonsense , owing everything it is to stephen frears' 1988 masterpiece . 
imagine my surprise to see that writer/director roger kumble has given credit to his source material : choderlos de laclos is recognized for his novel les liaisons dangereuses in the opening credits . 
and i was impressed . 
in fact , i was much more impressed with this recognition than with the actual film , which is an appalling excuse for a movie . 
it's kiddie-porn hackwork , complete with earthy sex-talk and fully-clothed hand-jobs . 
i suppose this kind of movie was inevitable ; with all the teen high-school angst movies coming out , there was certainly room for a pretentious and laughable movie about a bunch of teenagers who think they're smarter and more beautiful than all the other people on earth combined . 
cruel intentions is a mess in every possible way , and it fails primarily in the way i expected it to : i hated all the characters , and i hate everything they do . 
i also hate ryan phillippe , so perhaps my opinion is not as objective as it could be . 
phillippe plays ( check out this name ) sebastian valmont . 
wow . 
isn't that a memorable name ? 
i could just say it over and over again . 
sebastian valmont . 
it kind of rolls off the tongue , in the spirit of phrases like sanguine vapors and velvet sandwich . 
sebastian valmont is the coolest guy who ever walked the earth ; there is no woman he can't have , no material object out of his reach . 
he has all the money , all the sex -- all at his fingertips . 
and , luckily , his parents never enter into his life -- no , in the world of cruel intentions , adults don't really exist . 
the ones who do are irritating . 
sebastian valmont lives with his stepsister , kathryn merteuil ( sarah michelle gellar ) , the bitch-queen of the universe , and also the woman every man wants . 
since these two rich kids are so bored , they only thing they can do is challenge each other with meaningless sexual liaisons . 
kathryn wants sebastian valmont to de-virginize cecile caldwell ( selma blair ) , a naive dork-chick who has somehow wronged kathryn . 
but it's too easy for sebastian valmont -- he wants to nail annette hargrove ( reese witherspoon ) , the "" paradigm of chastity and beauty . "" 
so , sebastian valmont and kathryn make a deal ( which is too explicit to state here ) . 
but -- dear god ! 
-- sebastian valmont actually begins to fall for poor annette hargrove . 
dangerous liaisons is a great movie because the characters are all believable , and because of its masterful acting . 
cruel intentions is bad for many reasons , but it lacks both believable characters and masterful acting . 
kathryn merteuil is simply a hateful witch , a girl so loathsome that i would probably enjoy pouring hot lead on her . 
she is supposed to be mean , but glenn close gave the character some depth in dangerous liaisons . 
gellar , while aesthetically pleasing , is one-dimensional and utterly repulsive . 
witherspoon has a truly beautiful face , but her character isn't the moral staple she's supposed to be : sure , she won't have sex until she's in love ( is this really a * moral * issue ? ) , but she does some things in the last few scenes that are more than a little reprehensible . 
but i can't forget mr . phillippe , who continues to exceed my expectations with his impenetrable , invulnerable blandness . 
i have to give him credit and say that he did , in fact , manage to change his facial expression about three times during the course of cruel intentions . 
and there's one point in the film in which he shouts , thereby defeating my hypothesis that he is vocally monotone . 
true , he is bad , but it doesn't help that he has no character to work with . 
kumble has drained all the interesting aspects from this character , leaving us with a sex-crazed lunatic who is supposed to be sympathetic because he falls in love with a moral flower and shuns the wicked bitch . 
the film fails in every other way , too . 
first of all , nobody talks like this . 
even the "" intellectuals "" i know don't bother with this kind of pointless and pretentious yammering . 
for a while , the movie looks like it might play itself for laughs , but it ends up taking itself so seriously that there's no way we can join it . 
cruel intentions also manages to come off as soft-porn in more than one scene . 
earlier i mentioned a fully-clothed hand-job ; this occurs between kathryn and sebastian valmont , both of whom are intended to be hateful at this point in the movie . 
so , if we hate them , then what's the point of an extended sex scene ? 
titillation , of course . 
it can't even work under the pretense of "" meaningful love scene , "" because we hate the characters . 
it's interesting to note some of the parallels between cruel intentions and dangerous liaisons . 
kumble is clearly familiar with the earlier film ; many of the scenes have a similar tone , and there are moments in frears' film that kumble imitates almost completely ( such as the last scene , in which [spoiler warning ! ] the antagonist is humiliated in front of her peers ) . 
but kids don't act like this . 
nobody acts like this . 
in his translation , roger kumble forgot character development and sympathy -- some pretty crucial elements . 
the result is a picture of confounding badness , a kiddie-porn mess that thinks it's really deep and profound . 
i'll give cruel intentions credit for realizing its influences , but that doesn't change the fact that it's awful . 
"
"-1","everyone knows that old rule , 'never work with children and animals . ' 
in this latest horror flick mimic case , it's 'never work with children and genetically enhanced killer animals' instead , as mimic features both of these and succeeds in doing nothing except mildly engaging the audience . 
the film begins in new york , where we see children dying from a mysterious disease , which is being carried by cockroaches . 
dr . susan tyler ( sorvino ) creates a genetically enhanced bug ( the 'judas' breed ) , however , which is designed to kill all cockroaches . 
the bug does it's job , the cockroaches all die , and the terror is gone . 
'three years later' appears on the screen , and we discover that the judas breed is back , bigger than ever , and ready to kill . 
the spin on this bug , however , is that it can mimic it's predator , and in this case . . . . it's 
humans . 
that should teach us for squishing all those bugs . 
what should be a roller coaster ride with bugs everywhere , tons of gory deaths and some massive set pieces instead turns out to be a rather subdued , almost boring movie which plods along at a very slow pace . 
perhaps the movie was trying to be thought provoking , and trying to avoid the 'predator' type movie it could easily have become . 
if it is , then the director and writers have made the wrong move , because this is perfectly suited to be an all out action fest . 
the director , who bought us cronos , a far superior film , directs the film in a calm , and frankly dull movie . 
there are few exciting sequences , instead just a lot of people talking . 
if the dialogue was intelligent , then it would be all right , but it's sadly babbling nonsense . 
in fact , the script is embarrsingly weak , and the characterizations not much better . sorvino and company are as 2d as characters come , with the script not bothering to develop them . 
there is some action in this film , but it's directed in such an annoying way , it's just infuriating to watch . 
the camera cuts all over the place , disoreitating the audience , and instead of involving the audience in the action , it merely alienates them . 
the peformances are o . k , if slightly below average . 
sorvino is o . k , although she's not very good at conveying terror , or anything emotion really . 
the supporting cast are all sterotypes , with characters such as a big black security guard with a foul mouth , a geeky scientist with spectacles , and what could be the most stereotypical mexican 'old timer' ever . 
their reasonable good fun , however . 
mimic , then , may fail with it's story , pacing and characters , but the film does look good . 
like dark city , mimic is a definite case of style of content . 
it may be a bit too gloomy for it's own good , but the sets look nice , and parts of the film are directed well . 
but looks aren't good enough to save mimic from the depths of mediocre , somewhere where it shouldn't really belong . 
a good opportunity , then , wasted . 
a shame . 
overall rating= review by david wilcock ? 1998 
"
"-1","this movie tries to present itself as the sequel to jan de bont's debut as a director , 1994 surprise hit speed . 
but the only thing the two movies have in common is sandra bullock as the female lead . 
annie ( sandra bullock ) is in the wrong place at the wrong time again . 
she's going on a cruise with her new boy-friend alex ( jason patric ) , and of course it is her ship that is kidnapped by john geiger ( willem dafoe ) who has a bone to pick with the shipping line . 
they sacked him after he got sick . 
now he wants the diamonds stored in the ship's safe for compensation . 
that actually is the whole storyline . 
speed 2 could do without dialogues . 
the movie is all about images and remarkable sound . 
i don't really know why this is called an action movie . 
except for a few scenes that are vaguely reminiscent of speed this goes along the lines of the desaster movies of the 70ies . 
first we are introduced to a number of people who are going to be important later on in the movie . 
then desaster strikes . 
sandra bullock was said to have been glad that she could take action this time around . 
i looked for the "" action "" but couldn't find it . 
most of the time she is part of the decoration . 
the only time she is part of what happens is when she can have a shot at defusing a bomb and freeing some passengers trapped behind a fire door . 
now we know that she can handle a chain saw . 
we also know that fire doors on cruise ships can be cut apart in seconds . 
the bomb defusal of course goes wrong , but only the furniture is damaged , not our heroes who still are needed . 
jason patric alias alex spends most of his time flirting with annie , helping other passengers and frolicking in the water . 
his initial sea-sickness is suddenly gone , because there are ship , crew and passengers to be saved from evil geiger . 
he does a pretty good job but i can't blame keanu reeves for declining this part . 
then there's willem dafoe , the villain , who desperately tries to look as frightening as frankenstein's monster . 
he doesn't succeed , though . 
an untidy appearance isn't enough to convince the viewer of his psychopath potential . 
before he tries again to make us believe he is a dangerous man he should practise for a while in front of a mirror . 
i can't really recommend speed 2 . you will probably like the movie if you like funny situations that aren't meant to be funny . 
especially the showdown , when the ship first runs into an oil tanker and then dissembles a whole village is a treat . 
there you get to see the most superfluous scene in the movie . 
in keeping with last year's desaster movie tradition a dog is miraculously saved from certain death . 
a really funny ( and meant to be funny ) scene takes place on the oil tanker right before the collision . 
some crew members watch two ships colliding in an old movie . 
had they looked out the window they wouldn't have missed the huge ship racing toward them . 
those of you who still want to see the movie should pick a theater with a large screen and a good sound system to enjoy the visual effects and the phantastic surround sound effects . 
in an adequately equipped theater it's as if the explosion were going off all around you and you can feel the seats vibrate . 
but the ilm special effects can't save the movie . 
for all the money they could have done better . 
"
"-1","it's tough to be an aspiring superhero in champion city . 
just ask mr . furious ( ben stiller ) , the blue raja ( hank azaria ) , and the shoveler ( william h . macy ) . 
they're trying to break into the biz , but captain amazing ( greg kinnear ) , the city's hero numero uno , hogs all the action . 
the good captain has his own problems . 
because he's all but eliminated crime , amazing's endorsement deals are falling through . 
the public craves a major slugfest , so amazing engineers the parole of his one-time arch enemy casanova frankenstein ( geoffrey rush ) . 
frankenstein succeeds beyond expectations ; he captures capt . amazing before setting out on his scheme to destroy the city . 
so , no one is left to save the day but our would-be superheroes , but their abilities are more "" little league "" than "" justice league . "" 
the raja hurls forks at foes , the shoveler hits them with a shovel , and mr . furious just yells at people ( stiller is doing essentially the same character he played in a guest appearance on "" friends "" ) . 
after a painful first strike , the guys hold auditions for teammates and add the bowler ( janeane garofalo ) , who carries her dead father's skull in her bowling ball ; invisible boy ( kel mitchell ) , who can only use his powers when no one is looking at him ; the spleen ( paul reubens ) , who blows devastating winds from his rear ; and the sphinx ( wes studi ) , a mysterious figure who will teach them to fight . 
 "" mystery men "" boasts one of the most talented and eclectic casts ever assembled . 
in addition to those already mentioned , the credits include lena olin as frankenstein's evil shrink , comedian eddie izzard and the fugees' prakazrel michel as disco-themed thugs , singer tom waits as an inventor of superhero weapons , artie lange ( from "" mad tv "" ) as another thug , claire forlani ( from "" meet joe black "" ) as a waitress mr . furious is pursuing , louise lasser ( from "" mary hartman , mary hartman "" ) as the blue raja's mother , and actor/magician ricky jay as capt . amazing's manager . 
the cast includes four oscar-nominated actors ! 
when i saw the list of players early last year , i figured the result would be a can't-miss comedy . 
yet , i must report disappointment . 
the script is probably the worst of 1999 . 
nearly every joke misfires . 
the stabs at comic books are too obvious to be funny . 
 ( for example , no one can recognize capt . amazing in his secret identity because he's wearing glasses . ) 
the fart jokes surrounding the spleen are surprisingly the only gags that work . 
the cast tries hard , especially hank azaria , whose character adopts an effete british accent while in costume , but the script is just too lame to run . 
"
"-1","8mm , written by seven scribe andrew kevin walker , has an interesting idea which is ruined by hollywood formula to become a bog standard murder mystery . 
nicolas cage plays family man detective tom welles , who is asked by upper class toff mrs . christian ( myra carter ) to investigate an movie found in her recently deceased husbands safe . 
the movie happens to be an mythical 'snuff movie' , where the girl featured in the film appears to get brutally slashed . 
all mrs . christian wants to know if the girl in the film was killed or not . 
welles agrees , and soon gets pulled into the seedy underworld of porn movies , with video clerk max california ( phoenix ) as his guide . 
although the 'snuff' industry hasn't really been examined in mainstream cinema , 8mm still makes a rather plodding thriller which just seems to be a bit sicker than most . 
the snuff movie within the movie is certainly disturbing , although the jerky camera angles and grainy image takes some of the shock away . 
8mm has the problem of not wanting to shock too much , and apart from a few moments , most of the action in the film is nothing you haven't seen from another standard thriller . 
the cast help towards the entertainment , apart from an hideous performance by the increasingly lazy nicolas cage . 
while he was fun and breezy in earlier films such as raising arizona ( 1987 ) , ever since leaving las vegas ( 1995 ) , cage has lost much of his acting talent and appears to be on autopilot , such as in the terrible snake eyes ( 1998 . ) 
here , in 8mm , he's boring , uninteresting and has a dull monotonous voice . 
and in this overlong thriller , these virtues do not help keep the suspense up . 
only when cage is onscreen with the excellent phoenix does the film start moving , as phoenix is a true talent . 
his performance is a great break away from the gloom , and he's just purely enjoyable to watch . 
catherine keener is completely wasted as cage's wife , although she delivers a far better performance than her character deserves . 
her character , though , is hugely underwritten , one of the most wasted characters of the year . 
also fun is fargo's peter stormare as the wildly over the top snuff film director . 
as this film is written by the person behind seven , 8mm is filled with doom and gloom , and no-one appears to know how to use an light switch . 
unlike seven , 8mm isn't too clever , and the twist is pathetic and startlingly obvious when it arrives . 
lacking the strong characters seven featured , 8mm ultimately becomes uninvolving plot wise , and relies on the graphic scenes to provide any entertainment . 
but director joel schumacher , the completely wrong guy for the job , puts style over content , and while the direction and look are good , it's just not very disturbing . 
schumacher also has no idea how to shock and audience , and though we are meant to be looking at the 'dark belly' of the porn industry , it doesn't exactly leave an haunting impression on the viewers mind , which misses the point . 
also , the last 20 minutes are so hackneyed , so cliched , it's amazing to think it's the same film you're watching . 
8mm is far from an success , a 'snuffed' opportunity . 
with a boring lead character , 'controversial' scenes that manage not to be controversial , and a director obsessed with looks , what could have been one of the most shocking films of the year is a dumb thriller . 
ultimately , 8mm is probably worth renting on home video , unless your desperate to see what the snuff film within the film looks like . 
and trust me , the rest of the 2 hours are not worth it . 
"
"-1","your first clue that something isn't gonna be quite right with the movie you're about to see : it's heavily christmas-themed and its release date is , oh , say , at the end of february . 
your second clue that something isn't gonna be quite right with the movie you're about to see : charlize theron , one of the movie's dubious stars , makes an appearance on the daily show in which , when asked if her new movie's any good , she replies with the equivalent of a verbal sigh . . . 
assuring us that , yeah , it sure is a movie , all right ! 
and there's some scenes like those you'd expect to find in a movie , and there's some action . . . 
and there's other . . . 
stuff . . . 
too . 
how to immediately grab my attention : open your movie with five dead guys in santa claus suits . 
then show a caption reading "" six days earlier . . . "" 
ya know , i was honestly interested to find out what killed all those poor santas . . . 
how to immediately lose my attention : follow your opening scene with a terminally dull nice-guys-who-don't-deserve-to-be-in-prison scene . 
write a line for the one of prisoners like "" i just want to go home and eat christmas dinner and watch some ball with my dad . "" 
then , have ben affleck actually say that line , on film , and forget to leave it on the cutting room floor . 
for good measure , throw in a poorly motivated prison riot and have affleck's best buddy stabbed . . . 
aw . . . 
and just two days before his release , too . 
already the cliches are piled on thick , and when it rains , it pours . 
how to take my attention , dash it violently against the rocks , and make it so that i'm contemplating my strategy for calling "" shotgun "" about an hour before i know the credits will roll : deny your characters the ability to think . 
have ben affleck , for some reason i'll never understand , pretend he's his dead prison buddy so that he can get his girlfriend , played by charlize theron . 
have gary sinise show up and force the two of them to participate in a poorly planned casino heist . 
the villains' big idea ? 
kidnap affleck because he used to be a security guard at the casino , force him to tell you where all the doors in the place are , then dress up in santa suits , create some "" diversions "" and rob the place . 
on paper , it seems like the stuff of a potential caper comedy , but veteran director john frankenheimer wrongly picks up that piece of paper and thinks he's looking at the makings for some sort of clever action-crime thriller . 
it's not like the man isn't capable . . . 
far from it . 
he's the man responsible for classic political thrillers like the manchurian candidate and seven days in may . 
he wowed me with some the most memorable car chases i've ever seen in last year's ronin . 
but he's certainly guilty of churning out some certifiable losers . . . 
put reindeer games on the shelf of shame with his 1996 version of the island of dr . moreau . 
step one in making your movie as easily forgotten as possible : cast ben affleck in the role of the world's most generic hero . 
he gets no good one-liners , he doesn't get to shoot or implode anything in new and interesting ways , and all we know about him is that he regrets his past as a car thief and wants a cup of hot chocolate and piece of pecan pie . 
his name is rudy ( short for rudolph , in all likelihood . 
see , it's called reindeer games . 
get it ? 
get it ? 
shut up . ) 
in the past , affleck has been at his best as a supporting actor , and reindeer games does nothing to further his viability as a leading man . 
step two in making your movie as easily forgotten as possible : gary sinise's villain dresses and looks like the most standard movie crook a filmmaker could have some up with . 
he's dirty and potty-mouthed , he's got long , scruffy hair and a goatee , and i fully expected him to walk out of the casino carrying sacks with giant dollar signs on them . 
he's also extremely inept at what he does . 
he thinks garish cowboy costumes and santa suits make acceptable disguises , and he trusts affleck's character to pull through even after , time and time and time again , he tricks him and lies to him and nearly kills him . 
but instead of tapping into the comic possibilities of this role , sinise seems to think he's playing some sort of tough , smart , and smooth criminal mastermind , rather than the complete moron that was obviously written into the script . 
[on a side note , gary sinise wins this week's "" title ! "" 
award , as he's the one who gets to awkwardly cram the name of the movie into one of his lines early in the proceedings . 
last week's winner was natasha henstridge for the whole nine yards . ] 
how to take your bad idea and make things worse : include two or three plot twists that , instead of making the apparently stupidity of the plan seem suddenly intelligent , make the plan seem even more ridiculous and unlikely . 
this is a bad movie . 
and what's worse is that , except for a few moments near the not-so-stunning conclusion as the preposterous is replaced by the ludicrously preposterous , reindeer games never really gives us the satisfaction of being laughably bad . 
if they'd done that much , at least i would have been entertained . 
"
"-1","carry on at your convenience is all about the goings-on in the factory of a toilet manufacturer , wc boggs ( kenneth williams ) . 
once they have won an order to manufacture 1000 bidets in two months and charles coote ( charles hawtrey ) has designed a suitable model , the factory employees set to work but are interrupted by union representative vic spanner ( kenneth cope ) and friend bernie hulke ( bernard bresslaw ) who call them out on strikes on the slightest pretext . 
meanwhile , chief foreman sid plummer ( sid james ) is growing tired of his wife beattie ( hattie jacques ) and her budgie . 
he would much rather live next door with fellow boggs worker chloe moore ( joan sims ) but once he discovers that the budgie can predict the winners of horse races , he is over the moon and flush with money . 
his daughter , myrtle plummer ( jacki piper ) , is going out with wc's son lewis boggs ( richard o'callaghan ) and this causes conflict on the staff day out to the seaside when vic spanner vies for her attentions . 
in the end , if the strike does not cease , boggs will have to close down his factory , but the support of a group of women led by coote's wife-to-be and spanner's mother , agatha spanner ( renee houston ) , try to resolve the situation . 
also , sid realises that his budgie has caused him nothing but trouble since it started predicting horse race winners . 
there are some good performances , as usual , from sid james and kenneth williams in their standard roles . 
charles hawtrey is third billing but only appears in a few scenes . 
his part is mildly amusing . 
richard o'callaghan is appealing as bogg's stuck-up son , patsy rowlands is funny as miss withering , bogg's assistant , and renee houston is terrific in her small part as agatha . 
however , sole acting honours go to hattie jacques as beattie plummer . 
although her character is not directly involved with the main storyline , she manages to input a great deal of pathos and feeling into her character . 
a marvellous performance from a marvellous actress . 
the film suffers from annoying performances by bernard bresslaw and especially kenneth cope . 
in his carry on debut , cope overdoes his role as spanner making him so annoying as to be unfunny . 
joan sims returns as the love interest ( instead of barbara windsor ) . 
sims' 'usual' part as the downtrodden wife was taken by hattie jacques . 
additionally , bill maynard as fred moore is very poor . 
this carry on movie tries it best to entertain the viewer : - the locations and wealth of characters are appealing . 
however , the toilet humour becomes tiresome very quickly and some of the performances leave a lot to be desired . 
this movie does not know where it is going . 
it was made in 1971 and talbot rothwell the scriptwriter seems to be in two minds whether to go for 'bluer' jokes or to maintain the 'innocent' jokes success of most of its predecessors . 
that is why this film suffers . 
a minor carry on film whose major asset is the performance by hattie jacques . 
the new 'minor-regulars' such as o'callaghan and piper are not able to enliven the movie and the toilet humour becomes humourless after a while . 
"
"-1","the tagline for this film is : "" some houses are just born bad "" . 
so i didn't expect too much from this . 
but i had preserved a little spark of ope as i entered the theatre . 
i thought : liam neeson , cathrine zeta jones and jan de bont . 
i thought , mabe it will be fun ? 
and in fact the beginning was rather intriguing . 
but by the end of it i thought : why liam neeson and cathrine zeta jones , jan de bont ? . 
these great actors are basically helpless with this muddled mess that defies any rationality . 
here is the story : in the monstrously over-decorated mansion known as hill house , visitors are tricked by an unknown doctor ( liam neeson ) into being guinea pigs in a fright experiment under the guise of an insomnia investigation . 
among them is a sophisticated bisexual ( cathrine zeta jones ) , a cynical dope ( owen wilson ) and a gentle and emotional lady ( lily taylor ) . 
actually , the doctor is researching the "" primordial fear reaction "" and intends to plant disturbing ideas in his subjects and watch ! 
what happens . 
but he gets unexpected help from the house itself . 
it rumbles , hums and belches forth remarkable sights . 
portals become veiny stained-glass eyeballs . 
a fireplace guarded by stone lions gapes like a sinister mouth . 
filmy cherubic spirits take shape under sheets and billowy curtains . 
but the computerized spooketeria rarely feels real , placing an emotional wall between audience and screen . 
the second half of the film is basically about the main heroine running back and forth from the sinister lamps and evil furniture . 
is that exciting or what ? 
the worst thing about it is that it didn't have to be bad . 
it's based on a great book , ``the haunting of hill house , '' by shirley jackson . 
a 1963 adaptation of the book was scary and intelligent . 
it played with the greatest fears of our sub conscience . 
 "" the blair witch project "" , that cost less than an old car , managed to shock and terrify the audiences from their senses . 
and with a $70 mill . 
budget , de bont and screenwriter david self make hash out of a perfectly lovely piece of terror . 
de ! 
bont has a style of filmmaking so out of line with the material that it is , in itself , frightening . 
he is the master of the extravagant special effect and the big visual adrenaline rush . 
but why give him a more serious material ? 
in the end "" haunting "" will only haunt its fledgling studio ( dream works skg ) and de bont's career as a director . 
yet it wouldn't be fair to say that everything is bad . 
the effects are truly impressive and the house is wonderfully decorated -- beautiful , mysterious , magical and spooky . 
but this is where the good things end . 
the music is blaring , the floors moving , the ceiling morphing and the pictures on the walls screaming -- and all of this , every second , every moment of screen time , is absolutely without life . 
it's nothing more than a special effects-extravaganza ; visually impressive , but intellectually hollow thriller that simply doesn't engage . 
at first you do not know what's going on . 
is this part of the experiment ? 
are these hallucinations ? 
projections of the subconscience ? 
paranoia ? 
but in the end it shows out that this is actually happening . 
the house is actually possessed . 
it is at that point when all your hopes for a good entertainment disappears out of the window . 
for ever , i sat in anticipation for a decent climax and that's what i got ? 
i believe hichock once said that "" it's ! 
better to wait for a climax , than to see one "" . 
this may be true , and it might actually work , but there is only one problem -- jan de bont is not hichock and the things that he shows are not scary , only stupid . 
they are impossible to take seriously . 
any paralells that you might have heard before , linking this picture to kubrick's "" the shining "" , are absolutely baseless . 
 "" shining "" had class , style , story , acting , but most of all talent and originality . 
 "" haunting "" has only special effects and art direction to boast of . 
and those elements alone are not enough to make it a good film . 
casting good actors for small , pale parts only makes things worse . 
but i guess that no matter what i or other critics say or write , most of you will see this film anyway , even if the tagline would say : "" some films are just born stupid "" . 
"
"-1","the title is taken from the writings of ralph waldo emerson describing the life of a traveler as 'anywhere but here . ' 
there isn't one thing about this mother-daughter relationship melodrama that felt honest . 
it relies on a contrived minor character to tell both mother and daughter what was obvious to do in order to straighten out their dysfunctional lives , as for some reason they couldn't figure it out for themselves . 
if the film looks familiar , that is because "" the slums of beverly hills ( 98 ) "" went over the same ground but was fortunate to be more comical and perceptive due to alan arkin and natasha lyonne performances , in which they were fortunate to have a much sharper script to work with . 
alvin sargent's script was weak and annoyingly claustral . 
wayne wang's ( "" the joy luck club "" ) inept direction made a weak script even weaker by his inability to tell the story unfolding without the voiceover relating what the action couldn't convey . 
pushy mother adele august ( susan sarandon ) forces her 14-year-old daughter ann ( natalie portman ) to leave a small midwestern burg to go cross-country with her to beverly hills . 
the daughter resents her twice divorced , unstable but exotic , schoolteacher mother , bullying her to be an actress as a means of escaping a humdrum life . 
the daqughter doesn't even like the used gold mercedes mother buys to drive to lala land in and can't stand the beach boys records mom enjoys hearing on the car radio . 
so it becomes a question of who knows best , as the ladies fight it out between them , until the predictable sweet ending comes in this yawner . 
adele's dream of greener pastures in beverly hills soon doesn't look that good , as she lands a job in a slum school , has her precious car scratched by the unruly kids , and settles into a job she hates in order to financially survive . 
daughter pines for small town wisconsin and her friends there . 
during one of many arguments with her free-spirited mom , they go for ice cream and while mother is being ticketed , she runs away , only to be chased down by friendly traffic cop ( michael milhoan ) , who offers her wise counsel . 
with the cop's zen wisdom passed onto the daughter , she will survive living in many different addresses in beverly hills until she reaches 17 and then she plans to get way from mom by using her good grades to go to brown university instead of ucla . 
during their stay in beverly hills , she grows from feeling awkward in beverly hills high to immediately having many high school girlfriends and even a high school rich boy admirer-- a t . s . 
eliot ( corbin allred ) reader . 
but the transition of her life into beverly hills had no feel of reality , as everything seemed staged and unemotional . 
when she learns her cousin benny ( shawn hatosy ) , who happens to be her best friend dies in a traffic accident back in wisconsin , she returns for the funeral and in those reunion scenes it wasn't clearly shown why she wants to stay there , and for that matter , it was never made clear why the mother wants to leave so badly . 
the film is one big battle of wills between mother and daughter over their dreams . 
i guess what the filmmaker is trying to say , is that mom is a bad dreamer and the daughter is the observant one , able to recognize mother's faults when not in growing pains and in need of parenting herself . 
mother has a series of setbacks , like being dumped by her dream-boat dentist ( bochner ) she met on the beach , and witnessing her daughter mimic her whiny optimistic sayings when trying out for an acting part . 
but mother learns that her daughter has grown-up and is independent and that she has to stop living her life through her . 
she learns this when the same wise cop who told ann what to do , is about to ticket her and this time will remind the mother of the right thing to do . 
this of course results in the corny ending , showing that mom's heart was always in the right place , only she went about it in the wrong way . 
this was just one of those films where you want to be anywhere but in the theater where this film is showing . 
"
"-1","tomb raider . 
fun ? 
exciting ? 
challenging ? 
given the unprecedented popularity ( especially among teenage boys ) of the video game that sports an uber-buff , pistol packin' babe who raids , well . . . 
tombs , you have to believe it's these three things and more ! 
 "" lara croft : tomb raider , "" the big screen variant of said video game , which features a pumped-up angelina jolie ( the oscar ? winner for "" girl , interrupted "" no less ) in the title role is , however , none of these things . 
it isn't fun , it isn't exciting , and the only challenge is seeing how long you can stay in your seat ( i suffered through to the bitter , bitter end ; the wife opted for barnes & noble at the 45-minute mark ) . 
directed by simon west with the same subtlety he brought to "" con air , "" "" tomb raider "" is an empty-headed , big budget bore . 
the story borrows unintelligently from that mother of all turkeys "" hudson hawk "" ( the same hokum about planetary alignments and sacred stones that , when brought together , well . . . 
who the heck cares ? ) and it makes "" super mario bros . "" ( bob hoskins' ill-advised career move ) look like "" rocco and his brothers "" ( that classic of italian neo-realism ) . 
i'll go out on a limb here and say i suspect there's actually more character development in the video game than the movie proper . 
this is where the jolie defenders/video game nuts jump in and say this movie isn't about character development it's about kicking serious butt ( or bum , since ms . croft hails from england's green and pleasant ) . 
with lips , breasts , and biceps all inflated to the max , lara croft is all about posturing , and jolie has a hard time simply standing still without trying to look tough . 
ok , let's forget challenging . 
shouldn't "" tomb raider "" be , at the very least , fun and exciting ? 
shouldn't our butt-kicking heroine also encompass the sophistication of , say , james bond with the wit of indiana jones ? 
there's no humor to be found anywhere in "" tomb raider , "" even though it tries hard from time to time . 
even "" the mummy returns "" didn't take itself too seriously . 
the villain here is noticeably lacking , the special effects are ridiculously overblown and unnecessarily complicated , and the script is non-existent . 
to liven things up ( perhaps ) , jolie's live father jon voight puts in a few minutes as lara's dead father lord croft ; talk about a stretch . 
one thing i hadn't expected from the film is that jolie affects a slightly better english accent than her pa ( although i suspect that thin-looking moustache he's forced to wear gets in the way some ) . 
unsuccessful ? not entirely . 
if anything , "" lara croft : tomb raider "" makes you want to check out the video game itself to figure out exactly what all the fuss was about . 
"
"-1","walt disney studios may have finally met its match with the lush animation in twentieth century fox's anastasia . 
but judging by the latest efforts from the don bluth studios , the visuals are the only thing fox has to brag about . 
disney's recent classics have occasionally stretched credibility in such films as pocahontas , the hunchback of notre dame , and to a lesser extent , hercules . 
with anastasia , fox has gone so far as to throw all facts completely out the window . 
some may say - so what ? 
it's just a kid's movie . 
well . . . 
if you have young kids , beware , as they may be noticeably frightened by the visuals of a corpse-rotting rasputin zombie , whose body parts continually fall off in a disconcertingly real way . 
consider yourselves warned . 
nevertheless , the animation is quite stunning at times . 
don bluth has used computer animation extensively throughout , occasionally rivalling photographic quality . 
and yet in other scenes , the hand-drawn material seems of the saturday-morning tv crowd , which leads me to wonder . . . 
was this rushed to market to combat disney ? 
the plot , as anyone who had read history before knows , concerns the attempt to return anastasia to her royal family after she was lost in the overthrow of the romanovs in 1916 . 
not that anastasia is much concerned with what really happened . 
as for the plot --- go rent disney's candleshoe . 
you'll see 60% of anastasia there . 
"
"-1","here's something to chew on : what's the favorite food of big , cheesy-looking special effects monsters like the one lurking in the bowels of a luxury liner in deep rising ? 
the obvious answer to this question is cardboard , because that's the depth of the most fully- developed character in this painfully generic creature feature . 
deep rising demonstrates all the originality and vitality of something scripted by a computer . 
in fact , considering the rigid adherence to the expected formulas , perhaps it was . 
the most astonishing thing about deep rising is the exceptionally high level of gore . 
not since starship troopers have this many chunks of flesh ( both human and non-human ) been scattered in all directions . 
we learn some bloody trivia , as well , such as how a sea monster spraypaints in red ( it drinks a human being then spits out the liquefied remains ) and what it does with half-digested leftovers . 
i suppose deep rising's gallery of grotesque images represents fun stuff for those who love the macabre , but it doesn't do much for me . 
on the surface , and that's about the only level at which this film can be analyzed , deep rising feels like tremors grafted onto titanic ( everyone else is citing the equally valid aliens/titanic connection , since james cameron directed both ) . 
in going for the big disaster angle of titanic and the tongue-in-cheek mayhem of tremors , deep rising somehow misses both marks by a wide margin . 
the film is not humorous , tense , or exciting . 
in fact , it's downright boring , and , despite being half the length of cameron's current box-office champ , deep rising feels like the longer movie . 
is it really necessary to say anything about the plot ? 
probably not , since it's easy to guess , but i'll go ahead and oblige anyone who wants a synopsis . 
the film opens by introducing us to a gang of bad guys on board a mercenary ship . 
in addition to the usual cast of psychopaths and lunatics , there's finnegan ( treat williams ) , the boat's pilot , who's supposed to be an indiana jones knockoff ; joey ( kevin j . o'connor ) , the inept sidekick who's supposed to be lovable and funny ( but is really just irritating ) ; and hanover ( wes studi ) , the "" mastermind "" ( and i use that term lightly ) of the operation . 
their goal : attack a cruise ship , clean out the safe , then sink it using some illegally-acquired torpedoes . 
the problem is , by the time they reach the argonautica , the titanic-like luxury liner has turned into the marie celeste . 
aside from a beautiful jewel thief ( famke janssen ) and a couple of crew members , there's no one on board . 
the reason soon becomes obvious -- the ship has been taken over by a bad special effect that is supposed to resemble an octopus with teeth and more than eight tentacles . 
the cast , which is led by treat williams , is primarily comprised of has-beens and probably-never-will-bes ( two exceptions : wes studi , best known as the villain in the last of the mohicans , and djimon hounsou , amistad's cinque ) . 
williams , once a "" can't miss "" prospect in hollywood , has fallen so far out of favor that the best he can do these days for a lead role is a film like deep rising , and his inability to create a charismatic or interesting figure here may sink whatever is left of his sputtering career . 
famke janssen , who will forever be known as xenia onatopp from goldeneye , is the perfect bland match for williams . 
given her limited acting abilities , it's likely that she was chosen for this part primarily on the basis of her physical attributes . 
unfortunately , a bra defeats the purpose of having her in a wet tee-shirt for half of the picture . 
meanwhile , kevin j . o'connor , who has entirely too much screen time , exhibits all the appeal of fingernails scratching a blackboard . 
these days , audiences are becoming more difficult to impress with computer-generated special effects . 
this is a lesson that writer/director stephen sommers ( who previously helmed the live-action jungle book ) needs to learn . 
the days of jurassic park , when viewers were astounded by the mere spectacle of seeing something big and imposing on screen , are past . 
now , movie-goers are looking for the sophistication of titanic -- visuals that are so well-incorporated that it's impossible to tell where they end and where "" reality "" begins . 
in deep rising , the monster , like everything , is artificial and unconvincing . 
unfortunately , the fundamental problem audiences are faced with here isn't so much the idiotic monotony of this individual picture , but the poor quality of the entire bankrupt genre ( although , to be fair , deep rising is a particularly bad entry ) . 
even once this film has sunk out of sight , the knowledgeable viewer knows it won't be the last of its kind . 
like the slimy , slithering things that inhabit the air vents and pipes of these movies , more are waiting just around the corner in ambush . 
and that consideration , unlike anything on screen , is truly horrifying . 
"
"-1","this is an adaptation of h . g . wells' acclaimed novel 'the invisible man' . 
the actors are kevin beacon and elizabeth shue . 
the director is paul verhoven . 
that , plus a quick demonstration of the amazing special effects in the trailer , should be enough to lure us into the theatre . 
the problem is to keep us there . 
i can't imagine anyone who would like to see this movie a second time . 
working on a top secret military project , sebastian caine ( kevin beacon ) -- an eccentric genius , that calls himself "" god "" , has discovered the secret to invisibility . 
the first two faces are completed . 
now , it is time for "" the next logical step "" -- human . 
caine volunteers for this risky experiment . 
but when he is made invisible , something goes wrong . 
while his ex-girlfriend linda ( elisabeth shue ) desperately tries to find something to return him to normal , he learns that invisibility is more of a prison than a superpower . 
but that's not the bad thing -- an unexpected side-effect of the drug sends him careening into paranoid megalomania . 
he is naturally given a couple of modest superpowers , just enough for him to survive immolation from a flame thrower and an explosion of about a quart of nitroglycerine . 
soon every sense of decency is forgotten . 
the little intelligence that was left disappears as verhoven looses control and the film turns into an alien-rip-off , where caine is walking like a half finished terminator , spooking , scaring and killing everybody . 
though it's based on a novel called 'the invisible man' , the title has been ironically changed to 'hollow man' that sums up the film very nicely . 
this is a very silly production . 
laughable , actually . 
apparently verhoven's imagination doesn't stretch too far . 
for him the only worthwhile reason to become invisible is so you can case the girls' locker room undetected . 
it is this primitive schoolboy mentality that eventually kills the movie . 
being invisible , gives you the opportunity to be who you are , to do what you want without being influenced by society . 
in many ways it gives you an illusion of having a life without consequences . 
the nature of man and his place in society is what the novel is truly about . 
all that , the depth and true horror of the book is gone and only special effects make you remain in your seat . 
caine does use his power voyeuristically in hollow man . 
but since this is a modernization , in other words a dehumanization , he doesn't stop there . 
he becomes a rapist . 
and then , of course , a murderer . 
you'll start wondering why such actors as beacon and shue found themselves in such film in the first place . 
shue's talent is barely seen , josh brolin is underused and the rest of the cast suffer mostly for the lack of talent . 
kevin beacon is the only one that performs gracefully . 
his face is not seen for the most part of the film , and the only way he exists is as a disembodied voice . 
there are times when his presence actually saves the film from being completely embarrassing . 
in the end the effects are the only reason to see this film in the first place . 
being probably the best technical achievement since "" jurassic park "" , they are absolutely amazing . 
we observe the layers of skin , muscle , tissue , and bone being peeled away as a body is slowly rendered invisible . 
we see a beating heart , inflating lungs , and veins pulsing with newly-pumped blood . 
there are a couple of inventive shots with smoke , fire , air and water , but are a few scenes like that worth attending a movie for ? 
what is truly disturbing is that with a great book , talented actors and a grand budget , this could have been so much more . 
pretty much like jan de bont ( "" twister "" , "" haunting "" ) , paul verhoven has never made anything extraordinary . 
he was responsible for several good films ( "" basic instinct "" and "" starship troopers ) "" and some incredibly bad films ( "" showgirls "" , "" total recall "" ) , but he has never made anything that was great . 
in a way "" hollow man "" fits perfectly in this collection . 
it's not better or worse than verhoven's average film . 
he proves once again that he is incapable of handling more complex issues . 
and so , instead of depth and chills , verhoven inserts some of his trademarks : stupid dialogue , and lot's of dull action with blood and naked bodies . 
he even throws in some of the worst of film clich ? s - the slowly advancing fireball , the villain who comes back from the dead , etc , etc . - and tops the whole thing off with one of the most ridiculous endings of the year ( you'll be screaming "" nooooo ! "" 
and attempt to run towards the exit in slow motion ) . 
and all we can ask is why ? 
the answer is simple . 
though hollywood is a movie producing machine , the business of moviemaking has to be about something more than money . 
it has to be about telling stories , not marketing them . 
it has to be about transporting us to a different place , to dazzle us with magic and cleverness . 
to make us care , to make us think and feel . 
verhoven has obviously missed that point and this film is a proof of that . 
it's all flesh and bones , but no soul . 
a void where its imagination should be . 
"
"-1","eddie murphy has a lot riding on harlem nights . 
as the movie's writer , director , executive producer , and star , murphy will shoulder all of the blame if harlem nights fails . 
but at the same time , he'll receive all of the credit if it succeeds . 
should you sacrifice your hard-earned cash to support murphy's risky gamble ? 
well , that depends on whom you trust more : me or eddie murphy . 
here's what murphy thinks : "" i think the audience is expecting a good time . 
they gonna get sexy . 
they gonna get funny . 
they gonna get drama . 
they gonna get all of that . 
i think it's the best movie i've done "" ( paramount radio network ) . 
here's what i think : harlem nights is charmless , unoriginal , disappointing , and almost without question , the worst film of the actor's career ( i haven't seen best defense ) . 
and guess who's to blame ? ! 
the movie's problem is not murphy's direction : harlem nights is a fairly good looking film . 
no , the project was probably doomed even before the cameras rolled . 
murphy's awful script is the culprit . 
let's count the mistakes he makes in his first attempt at screenwriting : 
 ( 1 ) murphy shatters the record for the most profanity in a motion picture . 
yes , he even outdoes his own work in raw . 
practically every line of dialogue in harlem nights contains at least one four letter word . 
and after 15 minutes , it gets irritating . 
 ( 2 ) murphy wastes the talents of his fine cast . 
richard pryor , redd foxx , michael lerner , and della reese face the impossible task of carving out credible characters from a script riddled with stereotypes . 
each of them shines occasionally , but basically what we have are good performers stuck in a bad vehicle . 
 ( 3 ) the movie demeans women by depicting them solely as sexual objects and as pawns in power struggles between men . 
murphy has admitted in interviews that he is weary of women in his private life , which is really neither here nor there . 
but when murphy puts his bitter feelings on 3 , 000 movie screens across the country , it's another matter altogether . 
you're forced to swallow some pretty gruesome stuff . 
for instance , murphy punches della reese in the stomach . 
and he shoots jasmine guy in the head . 
this is a mean-spirited movie , folks ! 
lovely newcomer lela rochon gets off easy in her role as a common whore , but only because she doesn't have any scenes with murphy . 
thank god : he might have run her over with a bulldozer . 
 ( 4 ) murphy has written for himself perhaps his blandest role to date . 
the loveable eddie murphy charisma emerges only once or twice during the film . 
murphy would rather give his character a spiffy wardrobe than a spiffy personality . 
sometimes it seems as if murphy made harlem nights just so he could wear fancy suits and look debonair . 
 ( 5 ) the plot is a shameless rip-off of the sting . 
if you're going to make another sting movie , you've got to do something original . 
murphy's tale of warring nightclub owners in harlem ( circa 1938 ) fails to add anything new to the formula . 
 ( 6 ) to get laughs , murphy makes fun of stuttering . 
you know a comedy is digging deep when it resorts to ridiculing the handicapped . 
 ( 7 ) murphy's idea of drama is a scene in which his character apologizes for the first time in his life . 
for what ? 
for shooting reese's little toe off ! 
needless to say , murphy shows little , if any , promise or imagination as a screenwriter . 
in all fairness , however , a few rays of sunshine do manage to break through the gloomy cloud surrounding the movie . 
danny aiello is fun to watch as a dirty cop on the take . 
aiello stands out in the large , ensemble cast : he obviously relishes the opportunity to play such a nasty character ( a racist detective with mob ties ) . 
aiello's zesty performance gives harlem nights some much needed spice . 
another bright spot is arsenio hall , who has a hilarious , show-stopping cameo as a cry-baby gangster ; hall virtually steals the spotlight from murphy . 
in fact , hall's ten minutes on screen are the funniest ten minutes in the movie . 
unfortunately , his character is completely irrelevant to the plot ; murphy should have given hall a much bigger role . 
of course , i've already mentioned that i didn't care for murphy's character , but i have to admit that i did love his neckties . 
they are simply spectacular--almost worth the price of admission . 
"
"-1","because no one demanded it : david duchovny in a romantic comedy ! 
at last , both his romantic magnetism and his comedic brilliance are mined for all their resources ! 
the choice of duchovny may have something to do with the plot , which could be fodder for a valentine's day episode of "" the x-files . "" 
bob rueland ( david duchovny ) loses his wife elizabeth ( joely richardson ) in a car accident . 
at the same time , grace briggs ( minnie driver ) is in the hospital , waiting for a heart transplant . 
grace gets elizabeth's heart , and it leads her to bob . 
it's the romantic equivalent of all those horror films where someone gets a transplant from a serial killer and then is driven to slaughter people . 
four writers are credited with contributing to the story . 
that doesn't seem possible . 
despite being a solid two hours long , "" return to me "" adds little to the "" boy meets girl / boy loses girl "" formula and , as a result , is terribly tedious and slow-moving . 
duchovny and driver seem unable to generate any sparks , and i kept wishing for a fast-forward button to move their scenes along . 
since driver has managed to work well in romantic roles before , i blame duchovny . 
he's out of his element without the manufactured and static sexual tension of his tv series ( and i've always thought that the relationship between mulder and scully on "" the x-files "" comes off more sibling-like than hot-and-bothered ) . 
there's something about duchovny that makes me uneasy . 
regardless of the role he's playing , he comes off as a weirdo . 
the only redeeming quality of "" return to me "" is its hilarious supporting cast . 
the circle of friends and relatives around bob and grace is constantly playing matchmaker , and they generate the only laughs in the movie . 
carroll o'connor is grace's grandfather marty o'reilly . 
when bob comes into marty's restaurant after hours , marty immediately begins quizzing bob about his marital status . 
when marty discovers that bob is a widower , he invites bob to join his poker game and introduces him with the declaration , "" this is bob ! 
his wife is dead ! "" 
the poker buddies are just as desperate to find a mate for grace and greet bob enthusiastically when they hear the news . 
also funny : bonnie hunt as grace's best friend megan and james belushi as megan's husband joe . 
married with children , megan and joe provide a useful counterpoint by showing the mundane results of romance . 
although it's rare to see him in a movie that premieres in a theater , belushi delivers his lines with great comic skill . 
rounding out the impressive supporting cast are david alan grier as bob's best friend and robert loggia as marty's brother-in-law angelo . 
in only the lead actors lived up to the standards set by the rest of the cast . 
bottom line : if you are compelled to see this movie , watch it on video so you can fast-forward to scenes with carroll o'connor and james belushi . 
"
"-1","i'm not sure if silvio horta wrote urban legend before or after the success of scream , but i'm guessing after just because it seems he may not have had time to write a second draft . 
seriously , this idea--a psycho bumping off people in the style of urban legends--is a great one and i wish it could have been pulled off . 
the first sign of trouble comes with the painfully insipid dialogue . 
an example : "" that [car crash] must've been awful . . . for 
everyone involved . "" 
you can tell that the writer intended that something a little more airy was supposed to have been said , just no one figured out what . 
i know in slasher movies there isn't supposed to be a lot of great characterization and i myself don't mind cardboard cutouts , but please don't let the cutouts be so damn bland . 
one reason movies like scream , star wars and diva have become so treasured is because they feature charismatic actors playing interesting characters . 
aside from jared leto and joshua jackson ( who aren't on the screen long enough ) no one in urban legend makes the grade . 
alicia witt shows none of the acerbity or wit she displayed on cybill , rebecca gayheart actually looks unattractive ( not to mention as dumb as a post through 3/4 of the film ) and robert englund just cruises on auto pilot . 
good thing brad dourif is here , but wait . . . he's only in the movie for five minutes _and_ he's just redoing his good-natured stuttering character from one flew over the cuckoo's nest . 
which brings me to another aspect of urban legend : it's unoriginality . 
the film most blatantly ripped off is scream ( another reason that makes me think silvio horta wrote this after craven's and williamson's great success ) . 
urban legend tries to deconstruct modern-day folklore much the same way scream deconstructed slasher films , but it doesn't quite succeed . 
it's best stab at self-reflexivity is poking fun at "" that girl in the noxzeema ad "" ( ie , rebecca gayheart ) we also have another killer-taunting-his-victim-on-the-phone routine in urban legend and quick , what movie is this exchange of dialogue from : 
female protagonist : why ? 
villain : why ? 
why ? ! ? 
congratulations to those of you who answered scream and/or urban legend . 
like i said , this movie could've been great . 
if only silvio had worked or been allowed to work a little longer on the script . 
still , at least urban legend had some pretty cool death scenes and a somewhat realized whodunit angle which makes this slasher is waaaayyyyyy better than i know what you did last summer . 
"
"-1","drew barrymore is beginning to corner the market on playing the girl outside - the one who's the awkward klutz or the spunky do-it-yourselfer ; the one who just doesn't fit in with the others . 
she has perfected these characters in movies such as "" the wedding singer "" and , most notably , "" ever after . "" 
now she's back , starring in what could be called a modern-day cinderella fable - "" never been kissed . "" 
you know it's a fable because she plays a copy editor at a newspaper who has her own office as well as a secretary . 
trust me on this one , no copy editor has seen the inside of a private office since gutenberg ( and i don't mean steve ) invented the printing press . 
the premise is simple . 
barrymore's josie geller , at 25 the youngest copy editor ever to be hired by the chicago sun-times , is assigned to go undercover and return to high school to do an expose on what today's teens are feeling and doing . 
josie ( she says she was named after the '70s cartoon character ) was a geek in high school , so she jumps at the opportunity for a second chance . 
this time , she thinks , she will get it right and be accepted by the in-crowd . 
now , what kind of adult - with a good job and a successful career - would actually look forward to reliving the hell that was - and is - high school and adolescence . 
these are among the many problems that plague "" never been kissed . "" 
screenwriters abby kohn and marc silverstein cannot get a handle of josie . 
their script has her capriciously switching from confident adult to ditzy , blubbering woman-child at the least provocation . 
and the fact that an adult would put so much stock into trying to become tight with the vapid airheads who are supposedly south glen high school's most popular girls leads you to question her maturity and mental stability . 
ok , so "" never been kissed "" is not a sociological expose of today's high school scene . 
however , certain rules should apply to film , and one of those is consistency of character . 
among the movie's problems is the ill-conceived conceit that josie would seriously strive to climb the high school food chain and , in the process , lose focus on her assignment . 
any competent editor would have tossed her ass out the door quicker than you could say "" get me rewrite . "" 
to be fair , barrymore is very appealing , but she is given very little to work with . 
she tries valiantly to get a firm grip on her character , but the script continually undermines her . 
barrymore comes off best in the physical comedy aspects of the script in which she tries to walk , talk and act like a cool , hip high schooler . 
otherwise , she is left foundering on a cliched sea of teen-age stereotypes and situations . 
 "" never been kissed "" is entertaining and funny in fits and starts . 
it lacks consistency and a firm grasp on what it wants to accomplish . 
the movie's main bright spot is provided by leelee sobieski as aldys , the outsider who befriends new student josie . 
josie sees a lot of her former self in aldys , yet still abandons her to hang out with the popular girls . 
real mature . 
and that is the main deficiency with "" never been kissed . "" 
it's illogical , unrealistic , uneven and undemanding . 
it has some warm and humorous spots , but not enough to overcome its many obstacles . 
"
"-1"," "" come on , silent bob ! 
we're going to hollywood . "" 
starring jason mewes , kevin smith , will ferrell , shannon elizabeth , seann william scott , chris rock , jason lee , ben affleck . 
directed by kevin smith . 
rated r . 
jay and silent bob strike back is a dumb movie disguised in a smarmy interior . 
kevin smith , coming off the wonderful , challenging dogma , fills it with sub-road trip gross-out jokes and expects us to buy it because he's just oh-so-ironic . 
but when a movie is so self-aware it becomes about nothing but itself , we can hardly be expected to pay for admission . 
jay and silent bob , two new jersey stoners who hang out at the doorstep of convenience store selling pot , have appeared in almost all of smith's movies but , if i'm not mistaken , have not starred in one until now . 
they find out that there is a movie based on the comic book that is based on them being made in hollywood . 
this presents two problems : a ) they haven't received a penny in royalties and b ) nerds on the internet ( "" what's the internet ? "" ) 
are talking trash about them . 
what is there to do except go to hollywood and stop this movie from being made ? 
on the way -- they're hitchhiking , because who knew you needed tickets to take a bus ? 
-- they run into a group of hotties who pretend to be with an animal-rights group , but are really jewel thiefs who parade around in charlie's angels-style outfits . 
of course , they set jay and silent bob up to look like the thieves , so that there is a massive manhunt going on during the second half of the film . 
will ferrell , who again proves himself incapable of doing anything but sketch comedy , shows up as the wildlife marshal inspector who thinks the two have stolen a monkey . 
the movie will probably please only smith's die-hard , undiscerning fans ; everyone else will be critical of this mind-bogglingly stupid effort following some the sophisticated cinema that he churned out in years past . 
any appeal the movie has will come from the "" in "" jokes , most of which i think i understood , but the movie is "" in "" to the point of absurdity . 
there needs to be something holding it together other than its own smugness . 
once jay and silent bob get to hollywood , the movie abruptly switches gears from gross-out comedy to ridiculously broad hollywood satire . 
countless "" hot "" movie stars and personalities make an appearance , from smith veterans matt damon and ben affleck to wes craven , but jay and silent bob strike back resorts to such low-brow gags as another scream sequel with a monkey as the killer . 
get it ? 
they're so desperate for another movie , they ran out of ideas and used a monkey ! 
a monkey ! 
as often happens with writers who are working below what they are actually capable of , most of the really good lines are throwaways , while the big , painstaking gags mostly fall flat . 
one of the funniest lines in the movie flies by : when asked to comment on the clitoris ( don't ask ) , jay responds : "" the female clitoris ? "" 
kevin smith is a talented writer ( though i agree that his films would be better off if he'd let a real director take the helm ) , and jay and silent bob strike back holds true to his promise to make a more facetious film . 
unfortunately , it's also shapeless , pointless and largely unfunny . 
smith's "" verbal trampoline , "" as ben affleck once called his distinctive dialogue , takes a back seat to his dubious instincts as a populist filmmaker . 
this was supposed to be the movie that didn't offend anyone , but it's offensive because it's terrible . 
"
"-1","let me begin by saying that this is easily the worst movie in the entire official ( and even unofficial ) james bond series . 
it is so full of self-parody and silly characters that you would almost believe you were watching a spoof . 
an omen of what is to come is provided by the pre-credits sequence , a dull affair featuring a confrontation between a man ( it's difficult to give a better description since no mention of him is made elsewhere in the movie ) and the assassin of the title . 
a song with woefully terrible lyrics follows , and the rest of the movie is even worse . 
the plot might have been a pleasant change from the usual rule-the-world so often found in the james bond movies of the 70s , but here we get a confused mismash about a fabled assassin , francisco scaramanga ( christopher lee , putting in a performance which is one of the rare saving graces of this movie ) who someone has apparently payed one million dollars to in order to remove roger moore's 007 . 
there is also a flimsy connection with the energy crisis and a missing solar cell with 95% efficiency . 
it's as much of a mess as it sounds . 
bond is "" helped "" in his task by mary goodnight ( ekland ) , whose character couldn't possibly be any closer to the stereotypical bimbo . 
during the course of the movie she gets locked in both a closet and a car trunk , blunders around a control room accidentally setting off a laser and serves no purpose in enhancing the plot whatsoever . 
maud adams ( later to star in octopussy ) is a much more stronger and useful character , but she hardly features in the movie . 
scaramanga's lackey is a dwarf called nik-nak , who rather fittingly is also possibly the silliest henchman in the series , serving up annoyance and weak dialogue in equal measures . 
worse still is an almost total lack of action throughout the whole movie . 
there is but one fight sequence about fifteen minutes in ( not counting a ludicrous scene where two teenage girls beat up several dozen trained martial artists -- another misguided attempt at humour ) . 
the solitary car chase might have been a highlight , but the "" action "" is interrupted on a frequent basis by a redneck sheriff ( j . w . 
pepper , played by clifton james of live and let die "" fame "" ) yelling stupid comments out of the passenger window . 
he is easily the most irritating character in a james bond movie . 
even his presence could have been made bearable by one of the most impressive car stunts in cinematic history , a 360 degree twisting loop jump over a broken bridge -- could have been , except somebody got the idea to dub a mocking whistle tone over the final print . 
on top of that debacle , the whole end of the film is an anticlimatic sequence in scaramanga's "" funhouse "" . 
the only good thing that came out of this movie was that the producers had to make the next film in the series ( the infinitely superior "" the spy who loved me "" ) a great film in order for the bond franchise to survive . 
"
"-1","since director steven zaillian previously wrote the powerful screenplay for 1993's steven spielberg drama "" schindler's list "" and directed 1993's intelligent "" searching for bobby fischer , "" his new film , "" a civil action , "" should most likely be looked upon as an unfortunate misstep in an otherwise prosperous career . 
what doesn't make sense is how such high-profile and superb actors as john travolta , robert duvall , william h . macy , and kathleen quinlan got involved in this project , which is both dull and completely ineffective . 
the film , which involves a small community of children who mysteriously died of leukemia , certainly contains the type of story to be emotionally-charged , but somehow all signs of feeling have been completely removed from the proceedings , leaving us with nothing more than a poorly-done courtroom drama . 
based on a book by jonathan hart , which was consequently based on a true account , "" a civil action "" is set in 1982 in the town of woburn , mass . , where personal injury lawyer jan schlictmann ( john travolta ) decides to take on the case of eight families who simply want an apology for their children's death from leukemia due to unknown causes . 
jan originally decides to drop the case , but when he stumbles across to corporate giants , grace and beatrice foods , who have plants located near the families' homes , he sees all of the pieces suddenly fall into place : the two companies have been leaking harmful chemicals into the nearby lake which , thus , goes into the city's drinking water . 
suddenly , after hearing about the families' heartbreak and personal stories , he begins to care for them and becomes determined to get to the bottom of the mystery , even though he is warned by his staff accountant ( william h . macy ) that no money is coming in to them , only going out . 
also figuring into the story is jerome facher ( robert duvall ) , beatrice foods' corporate counsel , who finds himself in heated waters when jan will not accept his $20-million offer to settle the case . 
coming from such a talented writer , director , and cast , not to mention one of the most interesting film composers , danny elfman , "" a civil action "" is an astoundingly empty-headed drama , one that includes an intriguing story and somehow transforms it into an admittedly tiresome and occasionally even boring experience . 
perhaps one of its major problems was that in its attempts to be a relatively uncommercial motion picture , zaillian has misplaced its refreshing unconventional attitude with an absence of magnetism and even meaning . 
watching the film , i couldn't help but notice its similarities with 1997's far , far superior film "" the sweet hereafter , "" which dealt with a lawyer , played brilliantly by ian holm , investigating a school bus accident that killed a number of children . 
in his attempts to find someone who may have been responsible for the accident , holm interviews the grieving parents , as well as the sole surviving passenger , a teenage girl , which starts to remind him of his own teenage daughter , a young drug-addict who has run away from home . 
not only was the plotting similar to "" a civil action , "" but it also had the same exact running time of 115 minutes . 
considering this , it is amazing how fulfilling and truthful "" a sweet hereafter "" was , not only concentrating on the school bus accident , but delving deeply into ian holm's character and his own personal demons , as well as the teenage girl . 
in "" a civil action , "" however , i have no idea where the running time went , since the film is virtually two hours of nothingness . 
we do not get to know the parents very well , nor any of the main characters . 
through its whole duration , i did not learn one thing__not one thing__about travolta's lawyer character , jan schlictmann , who doesn't appear to have any sort of life or purpose outside of his job . 
every scene is tediously related directly to the premise , and therefore , there was no one for me to care about or root for . 
you've got to work pretty hard , actually , to not get an audience to become involved in the parents' plight , since their children are dead , but that is exactly what "" a civil action "" does . 
to be honest , i would be fairly hard-pressed to state an aspect of the film that i actually liked . 
aside from one flashback to when a man's young son died on the way to the doctor , i remained unmoved and passive about what was going on in the scenes , and more than once found my mind wandering . 
i could say the performances were good , but who's fooling who ? 
since every character is one-dimensionally written , no one's acting abilities are challenged in any way . 
travolta plays a lawyer well enough , but that's about all he does . 
duvall virtually sleepwalks through his role , apparently only appearing to give one-liners at every chance he gets . 
and what in the world is kathy bates doing in the picture's final scene , as a judge ? 
she appears unbilled , since it is just a cameo , but why did she even agree to do it in the first place ? 
finally , when the conclusion arrived and the end credits began to role , the film left me with another question : what was the point ? 
abruptly ending without any susceptible momentum , where none came before that to begin with , "" a civil action "" seemed to me , at least , to be an example of how not to make a courtroom drama , and it certainly did not do justice to the very serious subject matter the film deals with . 
"
"-1","synopsis : al simmons , top-notch assasin with a guilty conscience , dies in a fiery explosion and goes to hell . 
making a pact with malebolgia , a chief demon there , simmons returns to earth 5 years later reborn as spawn , a general in hell's army donning a necroplasmic costume replete with knives , chains , and a morphing cape . 
sullen , wise cogliostro and flatulating , wisecracking violator vy for spawn's attention . 
comments : when todd mcfarlane left marvel comics ( where he had made a name for himself as a first-rate comic book penciller on the "" spider-man "" titles ) to join the newly-formed , creator-owned image comics , a new comic book legend was born : spawn . 
mcfarlane's "" spawn "" immediately became a commercial and critical success and a defining comic book series of the 1990s . 
mcfarlane created a hero who was not only original but visually intricate , allowing mcfarlane to utilize his knack for artistic detail to the max . 
the early "" spawn "" issues brilliantly capture mcfarlane's genius at illustration and show his early attempts at writing . 
with the popularity of "" spawn "" and the success of the current warner bros . 's batman film franchise , a movie version of some sort seemed inevitable for spawn . 
in the summer of 1997 , hence , new line cinema released spawn , a live-action film based on the groundbreaking series . 
this topheavy exercise in violence and special effects unfortunately topples quickly and leaves fans of the comic book , like me , numbed by how much spawn misses the mark . 
what happened ? 
why is spawn so bad ? 
todd mcfarlane himself executive produced this disappointing misfire and even appears in a cameo . 
i don't think , however , that his presence necessarily hurt ( or helped ) the film . 
i place the blame , in part , on the recent hollywood trend , fueled by public demand apparently , for special effects blow-out movies utilizing the latest computer technology . 
these films focus upon the effects at the expense of everything else : character , plot , dialogue , etc . spawn , reflecting this trend , shows the audience one gratuitous scene after another populated with morphing characters and filled with unnecessary pyrotechnics . 
hardly a minute goes by in this film without fires , explosions , knives and chains appearing out of nowhere , glowing eyes , or constantly transforming demons . 
a lot of it is visually interesting and technically solid , don't get me wrong , but , because the script and cast aren't engaging , spawn ultimately comes across like overwrought wallpaper ( the surface may capture the eye , but nothing exists underneath ) . 
spawn's translation of the comic book suffers the most at the storyline level . 
mcfarlane's spawn was a tortured hero . 
a mercenary by trade , al simmons was nonetheless a warm man in love with the beautiful wanda . 
having died and journeyed to hell , he made a pact to return to earth to be with wanda . 
simmons , however , discovers that his memories are fragmented , his body a creepy mess , and his wife married . 
despite his sometimes violent nature , readers couldn't help but feel sympathetic toward his plight as the spawn of the underworld . 
spawn attempts to show all of this but does not spend nearly the time it should to do so . 
when the characters are developed , they seem absurd rather than touching . 
the cartoonish dialogue and implausible subplot ( a general possesses the antidote to a supervirus called heat-16 which he wishes to unleash to enslave the world ) do not help matters . 
spawn , in an apparent attempt to duplicate the success of batman , also unwisely spends too much time on a villain , the violator ( batman favored the joker over batman ) . 
john leguizamo , like jack nicholson in batman , receives top billing in the cast as the violator ; michael jai white ( al simmons / spawn ) is second . 
i ordinarily find leguizamo an intensely annoying presence in films which seems to make him a perfect candidate for the violator . 
the film , however , spends so much time on the violator's offensive antics that they grate on the nerves . 
apparently meant to be the comic relief in the film ( as nicholson was in batman ) , especially when contrasted with the sullen spawn , the violator's lines are oftentimes grotesque and unfunny , leaving the audience wishing he would leave . 
leguizamo does a satisfactory job in the role , but he is seen far too often in the film . 
michael jai white , a relative newcomer to theatrical releases , seems to be an appealing actor , and he handles his role adequately , but we see little of him without various masks on . 
more time needed to be spent on white's character before he became spawn for the movie to pull at the heartstrings . 
a special note should be made about martin sheen as the over-the-top , obnoxious , evil general wynn . 
easily the hammiest performance in the movie , it's hard to imagine how sheen mucked up his role so much ; after all , he played a vietnam assasin brilliantly in the great apocalypse now . 
sheen's excessive demeanor do not help the audience accept him as a mastermind villain and comes as a surprise considering his extensive career in film . 
many other elements conspire with the disappointing script and abundant special effects to drag spawn down . 
mtv-style , jerky , in-your-face editing is one of them . 
flames , for example , roll across the screen sometimes to announce a shift in setting . 
cogliostro , unlikely wannabe guide for spawn , serves as a poor narrator for the film . 
he goofily tells the audience , at one point , that "" how much of [spawn's] humanity is left remains to be seen , "" as if the audience really cares as one violent sequence leads to another . 
the music , finally , assaults the audience as much as the manic violence and offensive dialogue . 
loud and obnoxious hard rock fused with drum loops dominate some scenes . 
to be fair , however , marilyn manson's "" long hard road out of hell "" effectively compliments spawn's return to earth , while filter and the crystal method's "" ( can't you ) trip like i do "" proves a surprisingly fitting theme song . 
for as good a comic book as it is , "" spawn "" did not spawn a good movie . 
spawn , instead , suffers from too much pomp and circumstance , and too little plot and character development . 
it receives two stars for its technically well-done special effects . 
many other films , though , have equal , if not superior , special effects and are much better . 
rated pg-13 , spawn seems more violent than many r-rated movies and probably wouldn't be appropriate for the very young . 
"
"-1","i can't recall a previous film experience where the fairly good time i was having turned as sour as quickly as it did during feeling minnesota . 
for forty minutes or so , i was lured into a loopy if occasionally over-wrought romantic comedy , and i was even giving keanu reeves the benefit of the doubt . 
then , rather suddenly , i was clubbed over the head with a nasty bit of violence ; shortly thereafter , i was whacked in the gut by another . 
feeling minnesota is a film that made me feel violated , as though i had trusted writer-director steven baigelman to bring me a cool glass of water and instead he threw acid in my face . 
feeling minnesota tells the story of a topless dancer named freddie ( cameron diaz ) who finds herself in deep trouble when her boss red ( delroy lindo ) suspects her of stealing from him . 
red's punishment is to force freddie to marry his bookkeeper , sam clayton ( vincent d'onofrio ) , who is far from the man of freddie's dreams . 
enter jjaks ( keanu reeves ) , sam's estranged younger brother , who arrives at the wedding just in time to catch freddie's eye and have sex with her in the bathroom . 
united in their mutual attraction and their mutual loathing of sam , jjaks and freddie take off together , but sam isn't ready to let them go without a fight . 
freddie , meanwhile , isn't ready to let sam's money go without a fight , and thus begins a series of violent confrontations . 
there is both style and substance to the beginning of feeling minnesota , as baigelman opens with an effective montage showing jjaks and sam's intense sibling rivalry as boys , and their mother ( tuesday weld ) sending jjaks away to live with his father . 
it does a great job of setting up jjaks' unstable life , a life which has landed him in trouble for petty crimes and always trying to please his family ; reeves' wounded look is just right for jjaks . 
the wedding sequence includes a number of nice moments , most notably the aforementioned bathroom scene in which a simple question is given a very funny spin . 
most important , baigelman begins to establish the connection between freddie and jjaks with humor and economy , as in a scene where they both spontaneously begin singing along to the replacements' "" i will dare "" on the car radio . 
you would have every reason to expect that relationships -- both familial and romantic -- would be the focal point of feeling minnesota . 
unfortunately , you would be dead wrong . 
i suppose i should have expected daisies and valentines after an early scene in which red threatens freddie as she tries to avoid the wedding , but i certainly didn't expect what i got . 
what i got was yet another in a long line of recent films trying to ride the tarantino wave by mixing gags and brutality , or rather creating gags about brutality . 
suddenly , the story of romantic entanglements and family conflict becomes a story about a corpse , and everything which had come before degenerates so completely that virtually nothing is recognizable . 
the sibling rivalry not only becomes little more than an excuse for one round of beatings after another , but there is no consistency to the characterizations . 
vincent d'onofrio turns in a manic performance as sam , whose jealousy , competitiveness and apparent sense of inferiority seem far more in keeping with what we know about jjaks , while reeves turns into a framed hero too reminiscent of chain reaction , and both of them spend most of the second half of the film screaming and covered in blood . 
there are films which have managed to employ a radical shift in tone successfully ( jonathan demme's something wild and neil jordan's the crying game come to mind ) , but they didn't try to draw an audience with the promise of relatively innocuous entertainment . 
i don't want to dismiss baigelman's successes out of hand -- he gets a fun performance out of dan aykroyd as a crooked cop , and some well-crafted comic moments -- and it is not his fault that fine line has chosen to promote feeling minnesota as a light-hearted caper . 
it _is_ his fault that he violates his own characters for the sake of shock value , and that he can't make his two halves into a whole . 
feeling minnesota left me feeling used , and there's not much funny about that . 
"
"-1","wolfgang petersen's latest , the perfect storm , is like a pineapple . 
it only tastes good after arduous peeling and digging - if you try to eat the fruit , spikes and all , it's going to hurt ? quite a bit . 
ok , maybe that was a confusing analogy , so here's my main complaint about the latest man battles nature flick : there isn't really much of a story to tell . 
basically , a massachusetts fishing crew goes out to sea on a small boat , called the andrea gail , and gets stuck in the middle of "" the storm of the century . "" 
how much time does it take for petersen to tell this story ? 
not nearly enough . 
so he spends the majority of the film developing pointless side stories which all eventually become superfluous . 
audiences want to see the storm , they want to see a fight for survival but what they get is a lot of cliched , maudlin drivel . 
the last quarter of the perfect storm is utterly perfect in every aspect , but just try lasting the first three-quarters . 
i have yet to read sebastian junger's the perfect storm , but from what i have heard it is an unforgettable tale . 
based on a true story , the book must have found some other way to introduce the characters because in the movie version , the approach is weak . 
using a wonderfully patriotic score by james horner , petersen almost hides the in-your-face banality . 
right away the central characters are introduced : the gritty , determined captain ( george clooney ) , the ingenue ( mark wahlberg ) torn between his job and his girlfriend ( diane lane ) , the loving father ( john c . reilly ) , the comic relief who's always trying to get laid ( john hawkes ) , the new guy ( william fichtner ) who immediately antagonizes a crewmate and the quiet , french guy ( allen payne ) . 
so many problems strike the opening segment of the film that the remaining portions directly suffer . 
it is not the all-star cast's fault , just the characters designed for their portrayal . 
allen payne's character never speaks in the entire movie , not because he is mute , but because he's never given any lines ! 
are we supposed to root for a guy whose face and voice we are never given a chance to interact with ? 
fichtner's character is terribly underdeveloped - we don't know what he's doing there , where he's from , or who he's supposed to be . 
the remaining four fishermen are all cardboard stereotypes ( hawkes says to a female stranger in one scene "" you know what would look good on you ? 
me ! "" 
ooooh real creative ) . 
as the script advances and the andrea gail floats farther out into the waters , the crew continues to not feel human . 
only when the storm takes center stage does the movie jump out of its sleepwalk . 
the computer-generated images of gigantic waves crashing against a helpless boat are thunderously real . 
i can only imagine if this was an imax film , this city kid would surely never go in the water again . 
this is loud , jolting entertainment - adjectives that completely negate the rest of the film . 
the perfect storm was unfortunately a disappointment . 
the maelstrom lived up to its potential but everything else failed to do so . 
i guess i'll stick to that other survival spectacle ? you know the one on cbs ? 
"
"-1","synopsis : valerie , a high school junior who doesn't look a day under 22 , writes bad poetry , complains about how much she hates school , fantasizes about a young guy on trial for raping and murdering six women , chooses him as a pen pal , and plays hooky to see him in court . 
after a jailbreak , the killer puts on big sunglasses , wears a half-buttoned jacket , and uses his fatal charm to go after valerie . 
comments : "" alan smithee "" directed fatal charm , which should have been more appropriately titled "" fatal bore "" or "" fatal crap "" . 
if you find out that a film you're about to see is directed by "" alan smithee , "" then you should seriously , seriously , seriously consider watching something , anything , else . 
 "" alan smithee "" is a pseudonym which a number of directors have used when they produce something really bad . 
frankly , i'd be embarrassed if i had directed this turkey , so i think i understand why the director might have picked the "" alan smithee "" moniker for this film . 
where to begin with this painfully poor thriller ? 
let's start with the acting . 
it's pretty bad . 
amanda peterson plays valerie and shows at least some talent ( the rest of the cast don't ) , even though her performance isn't exactly stellar material . 
she's also miscast ; she seems way too old to still have a year of high school to complete . 
her scenes with valerie's mother , played by mary frann , are a joke . 
the two look as though they're a couple of coworkers going out to lunch together , rather than a daughter with her mother who just doesn't understand . 
christopher atkins , a handsome enough actor who plays the killer , adam , looks like a clown in the second half of fatal charm . 
trying to appear malicious and dangerous , he wears large sunglasses and a half-buttoned jacket . 
if disney decided to do a zany comedy caper about the unabomber , atkins would probably be a perfect candidate for the lead , but he doesn't cut it here . 
early on in the movie , a number of scenes occurs in a courtroom . 
outside of the laughably poor performances given by the actors portraying lawyers , the people sitting in the benches provide the silliest effort at drama in the film . 
they constantly shift and turn and arc their heads in mock interest in what has got to be one of the worst perfomances that a large group of people have given at one time ever . 
fatal charm's storyline , such as it is , inspires more yawns than thrills . 
the script belabors a red herring , early on , about a second suspect who may have committed the murders for which adam ( atkins ) is charged with . 
this suspect , however , turns up strangled and drowned halfway through the film : an obvious plot fault . 
even for the idiots who didn't consider the movie's title as valerie and a blond newsreporter commented how innocent and charming the defendant seemed , it becomes quite obvious that adam is dangerous when the other suspect washes up . 
so , the audience must wait ( if they haven't already stopped watching ) as the necessary details fall into place and the killer goes after the heroine in the drawn-out finale . 
the video box for this dud describes fatal charm as an "" erotic thriller "" . 
a thriller it isn't , and neither is it particularly erotic . 
i can't imagine , if someone were in the mood for something "" erotic , "" that he'd be happy after watching this fluff . 
a few erotic moments occur in the film ; they take place in a van with little lighting and are filmed out of focus ( see , they're supposed to be valerie's fantasies -- how creative ) . 
on a personal note , i was disturbed by the ludicrous english literature class shown in this film which valerie had to suffer through . 
it's no wonder why she hated high school so much . 
as an instructor of english myself , i have a hard time accepting the fact that in a course emphasizing great literature , a teacher would stoop to reading a student's bad poetry ( of course , it's valerie's ) about boyfriends out loud and then embarassing its author in front of class with questions about the poem's inspiration . 
i guess the public school system is still setting dubious standards for its students . 
fatal charm won't charm anyone , unless there's someone that's charmed by boring , lifeless , insipid , suspenseless thrillers . 
if you happen upon this turkey , just keep moving on . 
"
"-1","a highly intelligent life form that is completely electronic in nature , beams itself onto a russian science vessel . 
well , this is the point where the movie strays from becoming a decent and original movie and simply becomes a predictable sci-fi thriller . 
anyhow , this life form takes control of the computers on the russian vessel then starts creating highly advanced robots to help it in its gruesome task of exterminating the ? virus' known as man . 
the original crew of the russian vessel is all but exterminated , and then a hapless crew on a tug discovers the derelict ship and tries to salvage it . 
no more needs to be said as to what happens and where the conflict lies , the movie is that predictable . 
the story is full of very shallow characters that don't do much other than subsist . 
the captain of the tug , played by donald sutherland , makes irrational choice after irrational choice leaving the audience wondering as to how he has survived long enough to reach his age ( looks to be in his 60's ) . 
to add to this we're shown this motley crew that at times seems to be highly skilled in specific fields , and at others seems barely capable of basic tasks . 
some of the supposed capabilities of the characters leads one to wonder what they are doing on a tug transporting cargo in the middle of the pacific , in a typhoon no less . 
none of the characters seem to work together at all ; they are always bickering and vying for some form of control . 
this makes no sense what so ever and only takes away from the story , a story that is full of holes and is extremely predictable . 
all the flaws of the actual story are only helped along by the special effects . 
the waves that are generated to be part of the typhoon make it look like boat was is small model sitting in a tub and someone is simply creating waves . 
it looks genuinely fake , granted trying to recreate a typhoon or hurricane cannot be easy by any stretch of the imagination but having the storm approach in a style similar to the huge wave of deep impact only ends up looking corny and amateurish . 
also on the topic of flaws , the robotics that the advanced life form creates seem to move extremely slowly , why ? 
if this life form that is so advanced as to be able to create these robotics , should it not be able to create them move faster ? 
regardless , the special effects in this movie in many cases take away from the film rather than add to it . 
as to the actual casting for the movie , finally there is nothing to complain about . 
the actors were superb , but then again it is highly doubtful that chimpanzees would have had difficulty acting the roles . 
having the cast that was present probably saved this movie from being an absolute catastrophe . 
watching these actors act this story out made it bearable , if barely . 
the one saving grace of this movie is that it was highly action packed and there always seemed to be something happening . 
so if you are going into this movie not expecting to see anything grand and are only going to kill some time and watch a mediocre sci-fi thriller then you won't be too disappointed . 
as the movie is but the latest in a genre that was originally created by aliens , it does little more than try to cash in on that aspect . 
this movie would be best left for video and even then you might be advised to simply wait for one of the major networks to air it on tv . 
"
"-1","this movie is based off the wildly popular video-game series of the same name . 
before this film , the game had a few spin-off cartoons- which were ok . 
but the idea of doing a movie is insane . 
it should have been animated , if it should have been done at all . 
instead the people do the best they can with a talented cast . 
yet it still fails . 
the plot is completely different from the game's plot- i'm not complaining about that . 
the story involves the mario bros . having a plumbing business in brooklyn and having to compete with a rival company . 
eventually they find a construction site by their nemesis , which happens to be enviromentally un-safe . 
so , due to luigi's ( john leguizamo ) girlfriend - princess daisy - they go and investigate . 
they get transported to a blade runner-esque world lead by king koopa ( dennis hopper ) . 
somehow a plot dealing with all the dinosaurs being mutated and transported to an alternate futuristic mega-city jumbles in . 
the plot is fine- better than the movie deserves . 
the acting is ok . 
this seems to be more of a visual film . 
the special effects are good , especially on the robotic yoshi . 
however the film drags and is no fun . 
and it leaves itself open to a sequel , which probably won't ever be made . 
this movie begins sort of promising , but ends up leaving a weird taste in your mouth . 
so if you want to watch a sort of odd movie starring the excellent dennis hopper , then watch super mario bros . : 
the movie . 
you could do worse . 
but you could definitely do better . . . 
 . 
street fighter : the movie ( 1995 ) starring : raul julia and jean claude van-damme 
this movie was based off of a series of never ending sequels to a game called street fighter 2 . it has all the characters from the game in a reasonable plot . 
it is more like a "" movie "" than it should be . 
yes , it's watchable . 
raul julia does a good job , considering this was his final film . 
while the game had non-stop fighting sequences , this movie is a hodge-podge of action scenes and flashy sets and costumes while trying to show off a plot at the same time . 
does it work ? 
sort of . . . 
the plot involves the evil shadowloo organization run by m . bison ( raul julia ) . 
guile ( jean claude van-damme ) takes his troops to attack bison's main base in an attempt to liberate the innocent villages he has taken over . 
in a short amount of time , the movie introduces several characters well . 
it catches your attention . 
but it ultimately seems like a showcase for fans of the game so you can point out things like "" there's chun li ! ! "" 
or "" look at that fire-ball ryu did at vega "" . 
it hits the bases by presenting the characters in a plot with good sets , but goes no further . 
this movie needed more action in the first place . 
the action scenes that are here are short and not very exciting . 
if you like light-hearted action flicks , or if you liked the game , watch this one . 
it is even worth watching if you want to see raul julia's last performance , or if you can't get enough of van damme . 
other than that , you could find better action flicks . 
 . 
"
"-1","studio 54 attracted so many weird and bizarre people to its gates that it's a wonder why the film about the life and death of the studio centers itself on one very boring , cliched individual , not to mention an ensemble of people who wouldn't be at all fascinating unless they worked at the studio , which they did according to this film . 
are we supposed to believe that out of all the strange folk who populated the studio nightly , that a character who is a bland ripoff of tony manero would really make a good protagonist for the film about it ? 
 "" 54 "" belongs in the elite group of films known as "" the big disappointments "" : the films that attain so much hype and/or so much potential in its creation that they come off worse than they are when they are finally finished . 
i was heavily awaiting "" 54 , "" not the least because i've become fascinated with the infamous club , which has been the subject of an engrossing documentary that's been running all summer on vh1 , which is , weirdly enough , much more intriguing and engrossing than this "" edgy "" film . 
perhaps more importantly , "" 54 "" is part of the blossoming subgenre , "" the 70s nostalgia film , "" which has been picking up mighty steam , what with "" boogie nights "" and "" the last days of disco "" coming out within the year , and both being such damn good movies that not only captured the feel of a certain time period ( the late 70s party and the early 80s wakeup period ) , but brought us interesting and real characters , like scotty , the tragically gay boom mike operator from "" boogie nights , "" and charlotte , the ironically clueless and bitchy co-protagonist from "" the last days of disco , "" not to mention several others . 
 "" 54 "" deals not so much with the timeline of the studio ( how it began , how it was run , how it ended ) - that's all dealt with in the narrated opening and finale - but more interested in the characters who populated it . 
this is a definite plus . 
here's a film that could have been a fascinating 2 hour plus film about the tragic people who went there to party , and had to wakeup in the 80s when things like diseases , economy problems , and perhaps worst of all , reagan , all hit and forced everyone into a rude awakening . 
the story of the studio is tragedy in itself : let's look at how it all affected the people . 
but this film doesn't let that happen . 
it gives us a half-assed protagonist named shane o'shea ( ryan phillippe , from "" i know what you did last summer "" ) , who's chief character trait is the fact that he's from new jersey , which also happens to be his chief character flaw ( i guess ) . 
he's dim-witted , into being part of "" the scene , "" and soon finds he's become a bit of a rave amongst the studio regulars . . . a 
bit like "" saturday night fever , "" 'cept no travolta and no real interest put into him . 
poor , poor phillippe struggles to make him interesting , but all he is a half-assed character and not at all our ticket to the glimpse of the decadence going on inside the club that he could have been . 
shane begins to hang out with some other denizens of the club , like anita ( salma hayek ) , a wannabe donna sommers , and her young hubby , greg randanzo ( breckin meyer , from "" clueless "" ) , who helps shane become a bartender and rise to a bit of fame . 
although he begins to get somewhere when he sleeps with the foxy billie auster ( sela ward ) , an exec of sorts , he falls in lust with a soap star named julie black ( neve campbell ) , and thus the boring romance subplot that's all too not necessarily important to anything else in the film and never really becomes interesting at any point in the film . 
the film's sole point of interest and one major strongpoint is the all-too necesary personage of steve rubell , played by mike myers ( you heard me ) . 
rubell , the famous head of the studio acted as if he never stopped partying ever , and is an easy metaphor for the life and times of his creation , but the film , thanks to a surprisingly strong performance by myers , makes him out to be more than that . 
notice the scenes sole shocking scene , where he tries to get felatio from one of his male employees in turn for a promotion : myers brings the humanity to rubell in this scene , and a couple others , that some of us who've only seen him on tv never saw , and proves to be perhaps the one aspect of studio 54 that this film actually nails . 
first time feature director mark christopher proves that he's a better director than a writer , though not too terribly much . 
his story is trite and shallow , as are his characters , and his direction is shockingly flat , especially for a film about this subject . 
it's as if he had a great story to tell , but instead opted for the easier route . 
the studio's recreation is amazingly accurate , though , and very impressive , but his direction is never captivating enough . 
some people say that a film does its job if it makes you want to visit the locale it takes place in ( despite the film's tone , i still want to go to rome and its many nightclubs after i saw fellini's "" la dolce vita "" ) , and when i watched "" 54 , "" i didn't particularly want to stay . 
"
"-1","in the past , tim burton has taken cinema by storm with the action packed batman , and the hilarious ed wood , but lately his films just don't cut it . 
sleepy hollow has some unique features , but the script is a terrible mess . 
for those who remember disney's fantastic "" adventures of ichabod crane "" , it is actually superior to this . 
disney's version was at least interesting , while burton's film drags on far too long , without any suspense or frights . 
while the stories are similar , the new version adds too much to the once likable story , and throws in some weak dialogue to top it off . 
ichabod crane ( johnny depp ) is now apparently a constable , who was sent to new york to investigate suspicious murders . 
the victims are headless , and no traces of evidence were found , until the murderer reveals himself , hence the headless horseman . 
now with the help of christina ricci and an orphaned boy , they must stop the headless horseman from a killing spree , that could destroy the whole town of sleepy hollow . 
sure the headless horseman is an intriguing character , but the story has so many holes that even he nor depp can save this disaster . 
in the original , the headless horseman was meant to be unstoppable . 
no one could stop him , not even ichabod . 
by the end of the film , it had audiences in deep thought . 
burton however concentrates far too much on the atmosphere , and how to make the main characters heroes . 
he takes no risk what so ever , and this is where he fails . 
another pathetic element of the film was the script . 
like i said earlier , he just stuffed too much in at one time , and made it look real sloppy , kind of like the mess the headless horseman made with his victims . 
he completely butchered the story to pieces . 
thankfully there are a few factors that i particularly liked . 
the acting by depp was quite notable . 
he took the nerdy character of the cartoon , and simply acted it out in a better manner . 
if it wasn't for his quirky one-liners , i doubt i could have remained awake , because quite frankly i was getting sleepy . 
just when i thought christina ricci was getting to be a good actress , she winds up doing this . 
it just goes to show no actress or actor can pass up a big blockbuster . 
it's too tempting to let go , even if the script is mush . 
the atmosphere too was quite involving . 
i should have just gazed at the sets , and the eerie fog , rather than actually pay attention to what was going on . 
at least burton's films are eye candy , even if they are trash . 
the only real scenes of value were the tree full of heads , and the fight between the horseman , depp and casper van dien . 
other than that , i wish i could just fast forward through all the gaping holes in the film , and just sit back and stare at the scenery . 
by the end , i can only think back and laugh at how bad sleepy hollow developed . 
this is the biggest disappointment of the year , especially when such a talented director like burton handles a project like this . 
don't waste your time or money , because your head will feel hollow . 
"
"-1","plot : a rich psychiatrist with a great home life gets his cute daughter kidnapped by some bad guys who want him to extract some information from the mind of one of his nutty patients . 
of course , the patient is not cooperative and the doctor only has a few hours to comply with their demands , before they kill his daughter . 
pretty good premise , no ? 
critique : if you're not a fan of movies packed with plot holes , inconsistencies and yes , even more plot holes , heed my words and skip this hollow thriller . 
and i don't like saying that either , since this film actually had some potential and started off pretty well . 
sure , the story is basically just an amalgamation of ransom , primal fear and nick of time pureed into one , but the whole "" psychiatrist working against the clock "" thing , actually had me engaged at first . 
but it's at about the halfway mark of this movie , that the bottom drops out and all that we're left with are a lot of questions and very few plausible answers . 
we get the overly smart kid who manages to "" pull one "" over on the bad guys . 
we get a weak woman with her leg in a cast beating the crap out of a tough bad guy . 
we get douglas' character , a new york uppedity psychiatrist , suddenly turning into an action hero , with moves and attitude to boot . 
and what about the film's main plot point ? 
why would the bad guys still give a crap about this thing after 10 years , and even more so , why would they only give the shrink until the day's end to do his part ? 
 ( you waited 10 years , what's another few days ? - or why not set up another heist instead ? ) . 
i'll tell you why , it's because we wouldn't have a ( bad ) movie otherwise , that's why ! 
and many , many more . 
ugh , whatever the case , it was just about the time that douglas' character suddenly removed murphy's character from the mental home ( and how come she went with him so nicely ? 
i thought she didn't trust him ) , that i turned to my buddy and asked when the movie had turned into a joke . 
and a few bogus chase and action sequences later , we were left with a long-winded ending that did little to answer any other questions i might've still had , and actually brought up even more contradictions . 
badly put together , this movie features some decent acting , some nice cinematography and an initially interesting premise , but loses it all in a haze of plot miscues which ultimately leave you with little care for anyone . 
in fact , if it wasn't for brittany murphy's excellent portrayal of a traumatized teen , jennifer esposito's embarrassing performance as a police woman ( yeah , right ! 
watching her delivering lines was the funniest part of this flick- but it wasn't supposed to be ) and michael douglas' cool "" regular guy "" part , there would be little reason to remain seated until the end of this picture . 
incidentally , can anyone please give me one good reason why esposito's character was in this movie in the first place ? 
she was completely superfluous . 
and on top of all that , by the end of this flick , the director seems to have realized how dumb the audience must be to have bought most of the garbage that he'd been shoveling out for the hour and a half prior , and decides to add insult to injury by flashing back to an earlier character's death when one of the bad guys dies , just so we know ( as an audience ) , that the two are interrelated somehow . 
ooooh , thanks , mr . fleder . . . i 
appreciate the spoon-feeding , dude . . . yum , 
yum . . . but 
how about explaining every other plot point in your film that made no sense ? 
whatever . 
either way , i don't give a rat's ass because this movie is a dog and that's unfortunate because it actually did have some good points going for it . 
see it if you like dumb thrillers . 
incidentally , if you appreciated along came a spider , you will likely enjoy this film as well . 
they both start off with interesting premises , only to toss all logic and sense out the window about halfway through . 
where's joblo coming from ? 
along came a spider ( 4/10 ) - girl , interrupted ( 5/10 ) - kiss the girls ( 7/10 ) - primal fear ( 7/10 ) -- seven ( 10/10 ) 
"
"-1","i wish more films would take on issues of faith and morality in the modern world . 
and i wish that film-makers would use commandments as a blueprint on how _not_ to do it . 
writer/director daniel taplitz has created a bizarre conglomeration of satire and soul-searching in this tale of seth warner ( aidan quinn ) , a man of faith who runs into a streak of bad luck which usually inspires country-western lyrics : his pregnant wife drowns , his home is destroyed by a tornado , he loses his job and his dog is crippled by a bolt of lightning . 
convinced that god has broken his half of the covenant , seth decides to break his , and sets out to turn every "" thou shalt not "" of the ten commandments into a "" thou shalt "" ( and vice versa ) . 
his wife's sister rachel ( "" friends "" ' courteney cox ) wants to help seth ; rachel's selfish husband harry ( anthony lapaglia ) , who tends to break a few commandments of his own , thinks seth is a lunatic . 
thus begins a film which picks the wrong tone for every occasion . 
taplitz isn't interested in treating seth's tragedies as genuinely tragic , making it impossible to sympathize with him . 
composer joseph vitarelli provides a score full of whimsical woodwinds , turning seth's sacrilegious mission into an amusing lark ; quinn's performance as seth is all wild-eyed fervor without any genuine pain . 
the actual breaking of the commandments is almost treated as an afterthought , with one through five dispatched in a five-minute montage . 
the result is a character whose actions feel less like the authentic responses of an anguished man than the machinations of a high-concept movie plot . 
it's not even entirely clear that commandments is about seth . 
corporate attorney rachel is given a case which is supposed to soften a hard heart we see no indication she has , while harry gets his comeuppance as part of seth's "" false witness . "" 
only courteney cox strikes a note of reality in a solid performance ; she is sane center around which too equally troubled men revolve . 
even she can't force taplitz to decide whose story this is , or what we should have learned about dealing with the struggles in our lives and our relationship with the infinite . 
by the time seth makes a singularly biblical reappearance late in the film , it has become clear that taplitz is aiming for a fantastical fable which makes no connection with real human experience . 
commandments is a bad comedy which could have been a decent drama if daniel taplitz had had the guts to take faith -- and the loss thereof -- at all seriously . 
"
"-1","the high school comedy seems to be a hot genre of the moment . 
with she's all that and varsity blues behind us , and several more set for release later in the year , the teen comedy seems to be experiencing its own renaissance . 
however , you wouldn't know it from the quality of the latest entry : jawbreaker . 
this shockingly bitter candy definitely has a sour center . 
the most popular , and most feared , clique at reagan high school have an unexpected dilemma . 
they have accidentally killed one of their own , the "" teen dream "" , liz purr ( charlotte roldan ) , choked on a giant jawbreaker during a kidnapping prank for her 17th birthday . 
now the three surviving girls must decide what to do . 
it takes little time at all for the group's leader , courtney ( rose mcgowan ) , to decide to cover it up . 
the ditzy marcie ( julie benz ) is game to go along , but the clique's final member , julie ( rebecca gayheart ) , has a guilty conscience . 
to make things worse , another student , the hopelessly geeky fern mayo ( judy evans greer ) accidentally discovers the truth . 
the girls' cover is surely blown . . . 
not so fast . 
thinking quickly , courtney offers fern a once-in-a-lifetime chance . 
after a quick makeover , fern is transformed into vylette , the beautiful "" new girl "" at school , and a full-fledged member of the popular crowd . 
does this mean that popularity is the key to getting away with murder ? 
or will this finely honed plan crack over time ? 
jawbreaker is obviously attempting to be the heathers of its generation , and failing miserably , i might add . 
it manages to capture the mix of murder and teen social observations , but misses three crucial elements : sharp dialogue , witty characters and the much-needed humor . 
it is possible that jawbreaker might have succeeded in being ( darkly ) humorous if it wasn't shackled to its dead-weight plot . 
the film's most innovative twist is the makeover of fern mayo . 
at this point , jawbreaker seems poised to spin wildly into the uncharted depths . 
but then , all of a sudden , the innovation stops . 
the film becomes mired in the murder-and-cover-up plotting , which quickly saps what little life and energy there was right out of the film . 
in the film , rose mcgowan fares the best . 
as the manipulative clique leader , she truly dominates every scene she's in ( not a difficult feat in a crowd such as this , however ) . 
it's a character crying out for a better movie ( or at least another decently drawn character with which to interact . ) 
jawbreaker doesn't quite know how to handle its semi-likable characters : fern and julie . 
either one could effectively end the movie at any time by simply revealing what she knows . 
the lengths to which the film goes to prolong the plot have the unintentional effect of distancing us from these characters . 
as their motives become murky and unclear , the film finally falls to the point that it doesn't really matter who wins or loses , since all sides have become equally detestable . 
 "" detestable "" is a good word to describe the film , jawbreaker . 
it's certain that , like the murder weapon described in the film's title , jawbreaker will be triggering more than one gag reflex in the audience . 
"
"-1","capsule : a wild jungle woman and an 11-story gorilla are discovered in tibet and taken to hong kong where the gorilla escapes and causes havoc . 
this is a laughable 1977 rip off of king kong ( 1976 ) , itself a rip-off . 
production values are low and audiences seem to like the film mostly for derisive laughter . 
 , high -2 ( -4 to +4 ) 
- directed by ho meng-hua . 
- this film is provided to be a sort of laughing stock to finish the festival . 
- an earthquake uncovers an 11-story tall gorilla in the himalayas . 
a hunter , chosen because he just broke up with his girl and is at loose ends , gets sent to find the ape and finds a sort of female tarzan who controls the ape . 
- evelyne kraft is the jungle girl in a leather bikini that she is pasted into so she always looks on the verge of bouncing out of . 
- gorilla actor has no idea how gorillas move and suit is terrible . 
nice miniature effects , however . 
- has almost a music video inside it of jungle girl playing with animals like chi-chi the leopard . 
- several places there is narrative that is nearly incoherent as if there are missing scenes and the viewer has to guess what happened in the interim . 
- actual location shooting in mysore . 
ape shown badly matted behind temple . 
- combining of images usually pretty bad . 
incompetent matching of film stocks . 
- stock footage frequently used . 
- gorilla brought to hong kong by greedy entrepreneur who really abuses the ape before it escapes and tears things up real good . 
"
"-1","`the bachelor' is one of the best terrible movies you will ever see . 
wading through this gooey , detestable sludge is quite the chore for even a dedicated romantic . 
those hoping to find some genuine charm and feeling behind this chris o'donnell vehicle should wander elsewhere ; `the bachelor' is a painfully clumsy mess strung together with a few brief moments of surprising poignancy . 
awaiting these moments by enduring the rest of the film is certainly not worth your time or money . 
although he has not quite evolved out of the stereotypical pretty-boy cocoon , chris o'donnell has an effortless charm as an actor . 
most will recognize him as the high-flying robin from the two latest `batman' films , but other abilities are evident behind his boyish smile . 
can o'donnell carry the weight of a film on his shoulders ? 
perhaps , if he found the proper vehicle . . . 
but `the bachelor' falls far short of the requirements . 
the actor just can't register with such a pathetic screenplay as the guiding light to success . 
a few instances of adorable humor aside , it becomes apparent that no one could save the festering mess that is `the bachelor' . 
o'donnell plays jimmie , a hopeless romantic in his late twenties who's progressing in a serious relationship with anne ( renee zellweger ) . 
jimmie takes anne out for dinner to the restaurant specifically used for proposals , and attempts to ask for her hand in marriage . 
the problem is that his proposal sucks . 
big time . 
you can tell things aren't going pleasantly , because jimmie gets the infamous ? deer-in-the-headlights' look when anne questions his approach . 
and then , the plot ( along with the stupidity of the movie ) thickens . 
jimmie's grandfather ( peter ustinov ) dies suddenly , leaving a video will behind for his grandson ( who also happens to be his only living relative ) . 
everybody is speechless when grandpa declares that he is passing down an inheritance in the amount of 100 million dollars to jimmie . 
of course , there's a catch : he must get married before his 30th birthday , stay joined with his bride for an entire decade , and produce healthy children within the first five years . 
the bad news is that jimmie's birthday is the following day . 
with anne out of town , he must find a willing bride to share his riches with . . . 
and within a very limited time frame . 
there are certainly a few worthwhile aspects of `the bachelor' . 
for one , the movie's approach is interesting and not dripping with clich ? . 
another is the colorful cast . 
o'donnell and zellweger are cute together , and the supporting cast tries relentlessly to rescue the film from drowning in it's own mediocrity . 
ustinov is enjoyable as the cranky grandfather figure , and james cromwell is sincere and effective as a wise priest dragged through jimmie's marital adventures . 
and now the cons : the approach may be interesting , but in trying an old-fashioned method , director gary sinyor gives the film a synthetic feel . 
the characters are drawn with obvious , broad strokes , and the plot is bogged down with everything humanly imaginable . 
yes , `the bachelor' is far more frustrating than cute . 
the screenplay is lamely written , and the subject matter poorly conceived . 
the considerable charm of the two leads is thoughtlessly wasted , along with whatever promise the film initially contained . 
potential goes out the window early to suit sinyor's `colorful' approach , but not a minute of this hapless drivel seems accustomed to the director's wishes . 
`the bachelor' becomes lost without a homing beacon to save it . 
you've seen the tv spots , haven't you ? 
o'donnell is madly rushing down a deserted street and the caption reads `what is this man running from ? ' 
in actuality , he's fleeing from thousands of angry brides who want to marry him and inherit his fortune ( it's one of the few enjoyable sequences in the film ) . 
after seeing the movie , i believe that the approaching horde could be something else . 
o'donnell could be running from his angry fans , who have just endured `the bachelor' , and are hunting him down for revenge . 
"
"-1","topless women talk about their lives falls into that category that i mentioned in the devil's advocate : movies that have a brilliant beginning but don't know how to end . 
it begins by introducing us to a selection of characters who all know each other . 
there is liz , who oversleeps and so is running late for her appointment , prue who is getting married , geoff , liz's boyfriend , neil , her previous boyfriend , ant who has written a screenplay . 
for the first hour , we get to know these people through everyday activities , as they talk on the phone , go out to dinner , hang clothes on the line . 
the interactions seem so truthful and guileless that it is almost as if the film-makers hid cameras around the place and filmed these people unbeknownst to them . 
at times , the events border on the ridiculous , like the screening of the film , but they still seem in keeping with the characters and their lives . 
this doesn't sound like a brilliant premise for a film - "" we just follow a lot of people around who are vaguely related "" - but it's the execution of the idea that makes topless women talk about their lives so engrossing . 
unfortunately this level of honesty isn't maintained . 
with about half an hour to go , a sense of impending doom invades topless women talk about their lives and from there is descends into melodrama . 
such a disappointment after such a brilliant start . 
the actors are all quite good with ms . danielle cormack as liz being particularly impressive . 
the energy of her character is palpable and is a major reason the movie is so watchable . 
a lot of the performances are a bit rough around the edges but this suits totally the documentary feel of the film . 
it seems like these are real people we are watching rather than actors playing roles . 
that is why the melodramatic turn of events comes as such a shock . 
up till that point , i was transported to this world where these real but mildly insane events were taking place . 
while the final half hour is not beyond the realms of possibility , it's unlikely in a way that is jarring to someone caught up in the world of the film . 
not just the events , but also the tone of some of the end is wrong , clashing strongly with the sense of fun that has preceded it . 
this is not to say that topless women talk about their lives is not a good film . 
as stated above , the first hour is superb and even the end is above average . 
it just takes a turn which means that an otherwise brilliant movie loses some of its gloss . 
"
"-1","beware of movies with the director's name in the title . 
take "" john carpenter's ghosts of mars "" ( please ) . 
if the carpenter brand name wasn't superglued to the title , this embarrassment would surely have bypassed theaters entirely and gone straight to its proper home on the usa network . 
and i would have been spared a headache . 
the latest from the director of "" starman , "" "" halloween "" and "" escape from new york "" is a lousy western all gussied up to look like a futuristic horror flick . 
the production is set on mars in 2176 , where humanity looks for relief from the overpopulation strangling their home world . 
six hundred and forty thousand people in a matriarchal society live and work at outposts all over the red planet , terra-forming to make it more hospitable for future generations . 
a matriarchal society . 
terra-forming . 
sounds pretty intriguing , eh ? 
well , don't get your hopes up . 
"
"-1","august and september are a wasteland when it comes to children's films , and october is a dumping ground for munchkin movies the studios don't want to see slaughtered against family-oriented thanksgiving films . 
last year , the benevolent studio gods gave us digimon , and this year , they bestow max keeble's big move on delighted moviegoers across the country . 
parents will be thrilled because they'll finally have something to drag little austin and kayla to see that doesn't smell nearly as much like ass as digimon did . 
don't get me wrong - keeble , which is actually only a "" ment "" away from being a fetish film , isn't that entertaining . 
in fact , you'd be better off waiting to blow your disposable income when the real kiddie pics ( monsters , inc . , harry potter ) come out next month . 
but if dubya dubya iii tells you to go out and spend money to stimulate the economy , then you'd better do it ( because gassing up the minivan twice a week just isn't going to cut it ) . 
we first see young max keeble ( alex d . linz , home alone 3 ) as a pint-sized superhero , delivering newspapers with the pinpoint accuracy of a david beckham cross , foiling the diabolical plans of the evil ice cream man ( jamie kennedy , jay and silent bob strike back ) and landing the neighborhood honey ( brooke anne smith ) , who , by the way , is the hottest chick in a disney film since emmanuelle chriqui played claire boner in snow day . 
the scenario is , of course , a dream . 
max is really a doofus and he wakes up on his first day of junior high school with a pessimistic attitude , no luck with the ladies and only two friends , both of whom can kindly be described as social outcasts ( and who were both in snow day ) - the perpetually robed robe ( josh peck ) and a clarinet-playing cutie named megan ( summer catch's zena grey ) , who harbors secret feelings for max . 
things don't get any better for max when he arrives at school . 
he has to contend with , among other things , a red-hot science teacher ( amber valletta , family man ) , a pair of polar-opposite bullies ( noel fisher and orlando brown ) , and an illiterate principal ( larry miller , the princess diaries ) who's secretly diverting the school's last dime into the football program . 
when max's father ( grownup nerd robert carradine ) unexpectedly announces the family is moving to a new town at the end of the week , max decides this is the perfect time to exact revenge on everyone who pisses him off . 
whoa - don't worry , parents . 
he doesn't do it klebold-harris style . 
it's all pretty tame stuff , but max ends up in hot water when dad nixes the move , leaving his son dangling in the wind like so many tampon strings . 
director tim hill ( muppets from space ) adds a few nice touches , like max's voiceover character introductions for the film's main characters and a flashback scene that's pretty funny , but there isn't too much else happening here stylewise . . . unless 
you count some farting , a little puking , and a couple of bizarre cameos from tony hawk and lil' romeo . 
1 : 30 - pg for some bullying and crude humor 
"
"-1","the event horizon is the boundary of a black hole . . . 
and , in the future , it's also the name of a spaceship that vanished when it tried to go faster than the speed of light by traversing through its own portable black hole . 
naturally , this is the setup for the other event horizon . . . 
the movie . 
when the ship suddenly appears at the point that it vanished at , just outside of neptune , the crew of the ship called the "" lewis and clark "" has to go to investigate , and dr . william weir , the creator of the "" event horizon , "" gets to come along for the ride . 
if you've glanced at a poster for this movie , you know that , supposedly , what follows is "" infinite terror . "" 
well , i don't know about the "" terror "" part , but "" infinite "" certainly seems to qualify . . . 
event horizon is a mean-spirited , gory , sick excuse for a film . 
it starts off as an alien rip-off , and then degenerates into a pointlessly bloody slasher flick after about 40 minutes . 
at least for those first 40 minutes it's an * interesting * rip-off of alien . 
that's a lot more than can be said for the rest of them movie , which seems to go on forever . 
it not a scary monster movie , nor is it a psychological thriller . 
it is simply a movie which tries again and again to make the viewers feel sick to their stomach at the site of extreme gore . 
you've seen this kind of movie before . 
the hellraiser series had plenty of scenes containing this sensibility . 
this is a kind of movie for which i have no respect , a kind of movie which i had hoped died out years ago . 
it is quite possible for a movie to frighten or shock its audience without resorting to nothing more than gore , but event horizon takes the low road , and the viewers pay the price . 
there are many good , respectable performances , from fishburne and neill most noticably . 
paul anderson's direction is impressive , as it was in mortal kombat . 
there are many nice special effects , mostly dealing with numerous common objects floating around in zero-gravity . 
the sets are beautiful to gaze upon . 
and richard t . jones' character ( cooper ) is hilarious and extremely likable ( more so than most characters i've seen in recent movies ) for the little screen time that he has . 
and none of this can save the movie from being a d-grade level of film . 
the idea of a ship that has some sort of life within its walls , a life that knows the fears and inner skeletons of the human passengers , is a promising one . 
a haunted house story in space isn't such a bad idea . 
but the final execution is extremely disappointing . 
that's not to say that philip eisner ( here making his feature film-writing debut ) doesn't have talent . 
for those first 40 minutes , he manages to make a tired premise interesting , adding in aspects of unique flavor into a rip-off story , and that's something that not too many writers can do . 
he even has one scene that , though it also tries to sicken the audience , has a honestly tense feel to it ( the scene in question deals with one of the crew being in an airlock while others try to save him from floating into space ) . 
he definitely has something of a gift , but it's not fully on display here . 
i certainly will look forward to seeing more from him , and i hope that his future work fully explores his talent and the story possibilities of the premise . 
but because of what this movie degenerates into , i have little or no respect , and got little or no enjoyment , out of it . 
if this is what we have to look forward to in the future of film , then i agree with laurence fishburne's sentiment - "" god help us . "" 
"
"-1","there is a rule when it comes to movies . 
a sequel is never as good as the original . 
there are very few exceptions to this rule , and texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation is not one of them . 
now if you also take into consideration that the original chainsaw massacre was a really bad movie , and that this isn't even the first sequel to it , you have a recipe for a very painful viewing experience . 
don't be fooled by the presence of up and coming talents matthew mcconaughey ( a time to kill ) and renee zellweger ( jerry maguire ) . 
they made this movie before they were stars . 
judging by their performances they also made it before they took any acting lessons . 
it's a wonder they ever worked in hollywood again after appearing in this turkey . 
apparently the producers of this film realized just how bad it was , because it sat unreleased for years until someone decided that they might be able to capitalize off the success of mcconaughey and zellweger . 
apparently the two young stars were none too happy about this thing ever seeing the light of day . 
and i don't blame them , they would have been better off if this had been some sort of porno flick starring the two of them . 
unfortunately for them it is a horror film in which zellweger plays your typically stupid horror film character . 
while mcconaughey plays a guy who wears a mechanical brace on his leg that he controls with a television remote control . 
 ( hey , don't say i didn't warn you . ) 
to make matters worse , leatherface , the chainsaw wielding maniac , who was never the scariest of psychopathic killers at the best of times , has now become a full blown cross-dresser , and spends the entire movie in drag . 
there is a plot to this movie but it isn't worth mentioning . 
let's just suffice to say that a group of teenagers are in the typical wrong place at the wrong time and are left to the mercy of remote control man ( mcconaughey ) and his lipstick wearing chainsaw revving half-witted sidekick . 
man , i can't get over just how bad this movie is . 
this film has absolutely no redeeming qualities . 
even the obligatory topless babe shot wasn't enough to hold my interest for more than 2 seconds . 
the writing is bad , the direction is even worse , but both of those things look good in comparison to the acting . 
this is the sort of movie that they should make people in prison watch . 
a guarantee you , if criminals thought that they would be subjected to this film they would never break the law again . 
"
"-1","as a hot-shot defense attorney , kevin lomax ( keanu reeves ) has a special talent for picking juries that will ultimately acquit his clients . 
he is also an excellent judge of character , knowing just which strings to pull to sway the jury while breaking down a potentially damaging witness's testimony . 
and , on top of that , he's a damn good trial lawyer . 
in the opening scene , it is obvious that the defendant that he represents is guilty , but it doesn't hamper lomax's desire to creatively squeeze his client through the doors of reasonable doubt , thereby getting an acquittal . 
his unblemished record of victories soon captures the attention of one of the most prestigious firms in the country , headed by john milton ( al pacino ) . 
he is brought to their headquarters in nyc , where he immediately impresses milton , and is subsequently offered a full-time position as head of their newly-created criminal law division . 
lomax is soon given the case of his life . 
he must defend a real estate tycoon who has been charged with a triple homicide . 
the draw of fame and his desire to prove just how good he really is begins to isolate him in his own hell . 
he works late , defends the guilty , pledges his soul to his firm , and begins to neglect his smart but fretful wife , mary ann ( charlize theron ) . 
but what starts off as a promising john grisham-like story about conscience-stricken lawyers takes an abrupt detour as supernatural forces begin to tinker with the story . 
it begins like a typical parable where a small-town boy makes it big , but then has to balance his sense of self against the allure of money , power , and greed . 
but milton is far more than just a corrupt partner of the firm . 
quite literally , he is the devil in disguise , and as the movie progresses , he reveals some uncanny talents that one could have only if he had sold his soul long ago . 
freaky and frightening things begin to happen , and after much of the film has elasped , milton's horrifying intent is finally revealed . 
the movie tries to give us two separate and distinct acts . 
the first involves the comeuppance of lomax as a big-city trial lawyer . 
the second focuses on milton and his ulterior motive for employing lomax . 
unfortunately , the two never mix well into a cohesive story , and what we get are two underdeveloped stories that rely too much on one shaky revelation to tie them together and an impressive production piece to give it an underlying atmosphere . 
granted , the film is very handsome-looking . 
you'll enjoy the final scene where the wall mural seemingly comes to life during a heated speech given by pacino . 
you'll also like the images of power and temptation expressed through the fleshy and flashy parties . 
you'll also feel the loneliness and insanity that sets in with mary ann , knowing that her husband is slowly drifting away . 
this was one of the better storylines , but unfortunately , is only a sub-plot . 
as with all thing's involving the devil , you can expect nothing but the worst . 
in the first few scenes , reeves anchors the film , but then slowly drifts into the background . 
his path from self-vanity to self-consciousness is never fully explored . 
his actions seem arbitrary , and his reasons for them not fully known . 
pacino's comical portrayal is spirited , but the vanity of his character begins to shift the focus of the movie . 
there is another plot or two that is introduced , but never gets revisited . 
the focus seemed inconsistent throughout , and the final payoff seemed quick and cheap . 
this movie tries to be horrifying , thrilling , and dramatic all at the same time . 
however , while the devil's advocate strives to get noticed , ultimately it makes very little impression at all . 
"
"-1","i'm not sure i should be writing a review of the witches of eastwick , because i'm not sure just what the hell ( pardon the expression ) was going on in it . 
however , i can express the most important observation i made of it , i . e . 
i didn't like it . 
if i had to summarize this film , i think i'd conclude it was an updating of one of those old new england folk tales of someone selling their souls to old scratch and how they try to get out of the deal . 
that's the kernel of it , anyway . 
tossed into this are little bits and pieces that occasionally seem to be saying something about men and women , feminism , the role of the devil , modern reformers , and friendship . 
unfortunately , little or no effort is ever made to follow up and elucidate on these concepts ; they're simply thrown out and then left to rot while the film goes on apace . 
actually , i think that most of the audience was even more confused than i was . 
they came in expecting some kind of supernatural comedy , on the level of ghostbusters , and were a bit confused to be getting a folk tale with philosophical overtones . 
they laughed , or tried to laugh , at moments that were either barely funny , or much more horrible than funny , as if that could bend the film away from it's rather frightening direction . 
three women ( cher , susan sarandon , and michelle pfieffer ) live in eastwick , a small midwestern town . 
one night , while drinking late into the evening , they begin wishing for the ideal man to drop into their lives . 
in seeming answer to their idle daydreams , a wealthy eccentric moves into a mansion on the hill and seduces each one by attempting to be everything they want him to be . 
he soon shows evidence of mystical--perhaps demonic--power , and his devotion to the women's merest fantasies or wishes has dangerous overtones . 
even worse , when ignored his moods become ugly , and he mistreats the women for spurning him . 
anyway , the problems : all three female characters are fairly uninteresting , and several are cardboard stereotypes , especially sarandon's character . 
we never get inside them , never feel sympathetic to them , because their dialogue and personalities seem pretty bland . 
as for nicholson , well , even the devil needs a direction to go in , and while darryl van horne is the most interesting character in the movie ( due to the grace of the screenwriter and , more importantly , nicholson's acting ) , he still can't be yanked in one direction and then another without making him a little vague . 
and then there's the special effects . 
not in themselves--they weren't that good--but their overuse . 
i was almost positive , until i saw the credits , that the witches of eastwick was either produced by alexander salkind ( who has turned out the slop named superman ii and iii and supergirl ) , because of the big name actors in dopy stunts , or stephen spielberg , after the 18th vomit scene and the nicholson-blown-down-the-street stunt . 
nope , it's another bunch of guys , and directed by george miller , who has shown great skill with stunts/special effects before ( the road warrior , "" nightmare at 20 , 00 feet "" episode of twilight zone : the movie ) but apparently doesn't know when to turn off the wind machine and let his people act . 
f'gawds sake , guys , this is jack nicholson ! 
let him loose ! 
let him grin demonically ! 
skip the splitting earth and fake lightning ! 
watching the scene where nicholson is tossed out of the car by the voodoo doll , all i could think of was , "" what a waste "" . 
if you're going to use slapstick like that , use it up on pee wee herman . 
nicholson does what he can with the role , and when he can find his bearings , can be extremely good ( the scene in the church , for instance ) , but most of the time , he seems a bit stiff , as if he's not sure what he should be doing next . 
and no wonder . 
this script goes all over the map , giving you the feeling that it'd just love to be allegory , but it's not sure about what-- maybe if you give it time it'll think of something . 
so what is the witches of eastwick ? 
a horror movie ? 
a folk tale ? 
a comedy ? 
a statement about women ? 
an examination of the religious right or comparitive morality ? 
i tend to think of the image that seems to dominate the movie for me . . . watching 
someone regurgitate half-digested bits of food and cherry pits all over rooms , people , the screen , and ultimately , the audience . 
in other words , a mess . 
 ( $2 . 00 ) 
if you like nicholson enough to watch him here ; maybe 25% of his charm is able to make it through the logjams of others . 
"
"-1","the most interesting thing about virus is that the title of the film does not refer to the clunky robotic animals that try to kill our heroes . 
alas , it refers to our heroes ! 
as it turns out , the alien race that sends a computer virus to earth ( via the mir space station ) thinks of the human race as a virus -- perhaps even a cancer -- that needs to be eradicated before it spreads any further . 
after all , we have taken up this entire planet , and if they let us live for another billion years or so , we might advance beyond our solar system and into the next one . 
but the human race doesn't have much to worry about . 
after all , there's a woman named foster ( jamie lee curtis ) out there stopping the computer virus . 
she's the chief navigator on a sea vessel ; travelling with her is captain everton ( donald sutherland ) , steve baker ( william baldwin ) , woods ( marshall bell ) , squeaky ( julio oscar mechoso ) , and richie ( sherman augustus ) . 
they're all sailing in a typhoon one lovely evening when they stumble across an enormous , abandoned russian satellite ship in international waters . 
lucky for us , we already saw that the computer virus has taken over the ship and eliminated everyone on board . 
the evil captain everton thinks he's going to take the ship in and get a reward ; he convinces his crew that there's going to be big money , so they try to salvage the ship . 
soon , however , when it's apparent that no one is on board and that the ship has no power , they realize that something bad must have happened . 
finally , they meet nadia ( joanna pacula ) who explains their situation : a computer virus has taken over the ship ! 
it's creating bio-mechanical life-forms to eliminate the human race ! 
virus is a truly dumb action thriller , one of negligible intelligence and innovation . 
when considering the entire film , you will realize that it lacks a single original scene . 
it's a direct rip-off of nearly every james cameron film ( aliens , the abyss , and the terminator films are the most plagiarized ) ; more importantly , it's basically the same movie as last year's deep rising . 
i liked deep rising simply because it's funny -- it knows it's silly and derivative . 
virus takes itself seriously . 
and , in the most serious manner possible , it steals from every good and bad film of the genre , showing you countless familiar scenes , and sporting a cookie-cutter plot that any film of the sci-fi/horror genre could fit with a little trimming . 
but what is so amazing about virus is how poorly the whole thing has been thought out . 
okay , let me get this straight -- the alien race ( which is never really explained ) is basically sentient electricity . 
they need to make themselves physical , so they use a space station to get onto a ship ( which is surrounded by water , but who cares about that ) . 
on the ship , they make a bunch of clunky , immobile robots that somehow kill three hundred people . 
after that , they start using the dead people to create half-human , half-machine creatures that look like the terminator but are much worse at walking around . 
the leader , of course , is a big creature . 
every film like this has a big creature at the end , but the big creature in virus is so big that it has to tear down the walls to move around . 
virus is indeed a cliched film , but the central flaw lies in the fact that the computer virus just isn't very threatening . 
it's established that they can simply turn off the power to stop it , but the virus has sealed the power room by the time our heroes get there . 
on one level , virus is almost passable fun . 
it's really gory , and a few of the scenes have interesting camp appeal ( the director , john bruno , worked on a lot of cameron's films ) . 
there's also a nice array of actors , even though none of them do any acting ( except for donald sutherland , who does a lot of very bad acting ) . 
the bottom line , however , is this : virus is a bad movie . 
it rips off a lot of good movies that are worth seeing . 
in that order , i recommend that you rent any one of the alien films , simply to admire the qualities of a creature that actually threatens our heroes . 
"
"-1","an american werewolf in paris is a failed attempt to recapture the humor and horror of john landis' 1981 feature , an american werewolf in london . 
where the original had comedy , the sequel has the kind of revolting silliness that can be found in tv sit-coms . 
where the first installment had chills , this one has sequences that are inappropriately , unintentionally funny . 
in short , while an american werewolf in london has become something of a minor classic in its genre , the woeful an american werewolf in paris seems destined for late nights on cinemax ( it even has the necessary gratuitous nudity ) . 
the film opens with a trio of daredevil americans -- andy ( tom everett scott ) , brad ( vince vieluf ) , and chris ( phil buckman ) -- sneaking up to the top of the eiffel tower to drink wine and do a little bungee jumping . 
soon they have company in the person of serafine ( julie delpy ) , who has decided to end it all . 
she jumps , but andy , with a bungee cord attached , goes after her , and manages to save her ( at the price of a major headache ) . 
serafine disappears , but a smitten andy seeks her out . 
however , once he learns his would-be girlfriend's dark secret , he wishes he hadn't . 
she's a werewolf , cursed to change into a hideous beast when the moon is full , and , to make matters worse , he has suffered a nasty bite himself . 
actress julie delpy is far too good for this movie . 
she imbues serafine with spirit , spunk , and humanity , which gives us an emotional stake in the character's fate . 
this isn't necessarily a good thing , since it prevents us from relaxing and enjoying an american werewolf in paris as a completely mindless , campy entertainment experience . 
delpy's injection of class into an otherwise classless production raises the specter of what this film could have been with a better script and a better cast surrounding her . 
delpy's previous credits include such memorable ventures as krzysztof kieslowski's white and richard linklater's before sunrise . 
she was radiant , charismatic , and effective in both . 
given the nature and level of the material she has to work with here , she gets as close as possible to those adjectives . 
it could be argued that delpy is the only reason to see an american werewolf in paris , but even her most devoted fans should consider giving this one a miss . 
and if your primary objective is catching a glimpse of her in the buff , check out either killing zoe or the passion of beatrice -- those movies have intelligible plots in addition to breasts . 
the rest of the cast acts at a level considerably below that of delpy -- which is to say , they give performances appropriate for the screenplay . 
tom everett scott ( that thing you do ) plays the lead like he's in a made-for-tv movie . 
it would be kind to call him bland . 
actors vince vieluf and phil buckman , as andy's friends , are no more impressive . 
julie bowen ( happy gilmore ) is suitably fetching as werewolf meat . 
and respected french actor thierry lhermitte has a brief turn as another monster meal . 
on the technical side , it's all bad news . 
the computer-generated werewolves look painfully unreal . 
the creatures would probably have been more believable had they been men in wolf suits . 
repeated use is made of the "" werewolf cam "" , an infrared wolf's point-of-view approach that's interesting the first couple of times it's employed , then becomes tedious . 
and the soundtrack includes some alternative grunge rock tunes that clash violently with the on-screen action they're matched to . 
director anthony waller , who displayed a confident , edgy style in mute witness , stumbles with this material , never being able to make the comedy and horror elements gel . 
as a result , we get the worst werewolf sequel since the howling ii : your sister is a werewolf . 
 ( i will give waller credit for killing off a dog , though -- something that's rarely seen in movies these days . ) an american werewolf in paris is marginally entertaining in a "" bad movie "" sort of way , but that's a dubious distinction . 
ultimately , it's an unfortunate effort , for , while it isn't unbearable to sit through , it isn't a howl , either . 
"
"-1","depending on who you ask , the original sin was either the eating of the apple , the act of disobedience against god , or the act of betrayal . 
but in case you didn't know this , don't bother remembering it . . . 
the words "" original sin "" never come up in the movie of the same name , let alone the concept of it . 
the closest the film even gets to catholicism is in its narrative ( the story is told by angelina jolie to her priest while on death row in cuba , circa 1900 ) . 
regardless of its senseless title , original sin does actually have a plot ( albeit one of the most mangled acts of screenwriting since the art of war , based on the book waltz across darkness ) . 
boy ( antionio banderas ) places personal ad sometime around 1900 , searching for a wife . 
since this is a century ago , we narrowly dodge a remake of green card , only to find that the girl ( jolie ) faked her photo and is actually beautiful . 
skipping a few moderately useless sex scenes ( getting the question out of the way , yes , we get to see angelina jolie's breasts again ) , the girl turns out to be a con artist , swindles boy for his money , and heads for the hills . 
original sin then briefly tries to be a thriller . 
we see boy go whore-chasing , saying he wants to find girl and kill her . 
but as soon as boy actually finds girl , instead of following what might have been a promising ( or at least not completely fucking boring ) thriller , the film degenerates into the worst dissection of the virgin/whore complex since milk money . 
girl toys with the idea of reforming her con-girl past , all the while avoiding the "" other man , "" a lover that keeps making her start these scams in the first place . 
add insult to injury with some of the worst stylistic choices in cinematic history ( literally half of the film is either in slow motion or uses a strobe effect ) , and acting roughly the caliber of a b . b . gun , and original sin is one of the most torturous films of the summer , definitely front running to make my bottom ten of the year . 
don't even bother with original sin , but if you do go , be honest with yourself and admit its pure sex appeal . 
just keep in mind that although this film may not be the most original on the block , it's much worse than a sin . 
this is sacrilege . 
"
"-1","wizards is an animated feature that begins with a narration of epic proportions . 
over black and white drawings , we are told that the earth is destroyed in an apocalyptic nuclear exchange , sending the remnants of humanity through generations of radiation-induced mutation . 
the "" original "" inhabitants of the earth , fairies and elves , return to populate the globe , along with their evil , mutant counterparts . 
one day ( and i say "" one day "" not to be trite , but because that's exactly how it happened - no advance notice ) , a fairy queen gives birth to twins , one good and one evil . 
the twins grow up to be powerful wizards , the good one embracing magic , and the bad one utilizing technology to attempt to expand his evil empire . 
we are given the notion that an ultimate battle must occur between the forces of magic and those of technology . 
as unoriginal as the premise is , i was still somewhat interested in how this story would play itself out . 
there's a lot you can do in an animated fantasy world , after all . 
i soon learned , however , that the fantasy was the expectation of a decent film . 
once the transition was made from still art to color animation , an entirely different feel takes precedence . 
rather than the epic saga promised by the narration , we get a goofy-looking world of a saturday morning cartoon . 
not just the look , mind you , but all the zany sounds like >honk boing 
for years , blackwolf has lost his battles against the magical forces of good , since his armies of ogres and other mutants would get dispirited or distracted soon after battle is joined . 
however , blackwolf now has a secret weapon : nazis . 
yup , adolf hitler , the luftwaffe and the wehrmacht . 
okay , not the real things , but an archival film his minions dug up . 
projected into the sky for all to see , it inspires his own army while shocking the enemy into submission long enough for the ogres to hack them up . 
before you know it , there are dead elves everywhere . 
this is just as well . 
the characters are so bad that the viewer doesn't care about any of them . 
they're either silly , sappy , or both . 
the dialog gets much of the credit for this . 
an example is when avatar nonchalantly says , "" well , looks like my brother and i begin our final battle . "" 
not very formidable when he's also the guy who says , "" this is the biggest bummer of a trip i've ever been on . "" 
my favorite line was from a sideline fairy who is asked by her child why good can't fight back against the nazi-charged evil . 
her response is , "" they have weapons and technology . 
we just have love . "" 
suffice to say , the characters are strictly two-dimensional , and we therefore don't expect anything more than the obvious to happen . 
which it does . 
the only unexpected occurrence is the way the final battle between brothers is played out , which is anticlimactic and disappointing . 
please note that it is the action that is unexpected . 
that it is disappointing is not . 
the film couldn't settle on a particular mood . 
it seems to move from dark to light with the cuts from scene to scene and even angle to angle . 
scenes which are seemingly meant to contain deep meaning are ruined by acts of levity . 
the dramatics , which seem to occur at random , are overly staged and overly acted , detracting from any kind of value or even enjoyment which could otherwise be gleaned . 
ralph bakshi , the director , makes an obvious attempt to get a message across in this film : hitler and the nazis were bad . 
so who doesn't know this already ? 
well , maybe children . 
okay , so you might say that this is a movie for children . 
it's not . 
in the scenes where good fights evil , there's a lot of violence and gore that children should not be seeing if they're watching a cartoon . 
so is the film for adults ? 
if so , we probably don't need to be bashed over the head to get the point . 
why not have the bad guys be symbolic of the nazis instead of using old propaganda in a seriously disjointed attempt to show us something we already know ? 
wizards gives us a lot of footage of nazi tanks and airplanes , and hitler giving speeches . 
however , we don't see any reason why they should be considered bad . 
we see no atrocities being committed , not even any real battle footage . 
there is absolutely no connection made between the armies of evil and the third reich , and we're not even given a cursory explanation as to why this stuff is inspiring in the first place . 
this needed to be thought out much more thoroughly if a point were to be made , since subject matter such as this deserves better treatment . 
i'd like to assume that bakshi was trying to say that the same nationalist movement that drove the nazis could happen anywhere , at any time , and we must therefore be vigilant . 
however , i'm not sure if i want to give him that much credit . 
"
"-1","inspired by the 1958 film house on haunted hill starring vincent price . 
directed by william malone . 
starring geoffrey rush , famke janssen , and chris kattan . 
rated r ( contains violence , profanity , and brief nudity ) . 
synopsis : eccentric millionaire price offers $1 , 000 , 000 to each of his guests who appear at a gathering at a former sanitarium . 
the only catch is that they have to survive the night at the establishment , an establishment haunted by its former staff and patients . 
comments : house on haunted hill is based upon the original 1958 film of the same title directed by william castle and starring vincent price . 
in an obvious homage , the millionaire's name is price and he sports a thin mustache like price used to have . 
this is a pretty bad horror film , yet bad horror films sometimes are very entertaining , and house on haunted hill is just such a film . 
it is , surprisingly , better than another recent haunted house remake , the haunting , a film which owes its basis to the classic horror novel by shirley jackson . 
the haunting had literary pretensions and fell flat on it face . 
house on haunted hill owes its lineage to a b-movie 40 years old and makes no illusion that it's a crappy horror movie . 
thus , somehow , it proves slightly more successful . 
i can't think of another recent film which has had such an eclectic cast . 
it is this cast which lifts this ho-hum thriller into a borderline entertaining exercise in camp horror . 
price , the main character , is played by geoffrey rush , the academy-award winning actor of shine . 
rush seems to be making a downward spiral in the movie industry , a spiral reminiscent of ben ( ghandi , schindler's list ) kingsley's ridiculous appearance in the camp sci-fi classic species . 
i don't know why , but sometimes it's entertaining to see "" quality "" actors in bad movies . 
more surprises ? 
rising star taye diggs plays a stereotypical african american sports figure ( rather lamely too ) , and singer lisa loeb ( ! ) 
appears as a tv news reporter . 
the highlight of the cast , however , has to be saturday night live member chris kattan . 
kattan's comic sense provides several good humorous moments as he plays the hysterical proprietor of the former sanitarium . 
while the first half of the film leaves the audience guessing as to what's exactly going on , the second half dissolves into standard ghost story stuff and loses some of its suspense . 
a disappointingly cheesy ending really mars this movie too . 
house on haunted hill , i suspect , has just about left the second-run theaters . 
it's worth catching on cable next year , if you get a chance . 
if you have a choice , pick this movie over the haunting , it's the better of two evils , you could say . 
though , more appropriately perhaps , it'd be better to say that it's the better of two turkeys . 
"
"-1","capsule : liebes meets tod . 
this was a film about sex and death . 
a morgue attendant accidentally revives a dead woman through necrophilia and brings her into his world which is heavy on orgies . 
this film says something obscure about the relationship of sex and death , but imparts no insights . 
to make matter worse this print was poorly subtitled into english from french . 
0 ( -4 to +4 ) 
- an attractive 18-year-old dies on a disco floor and gets sent to a morgue . 
one of the attendants , ben ( jean-marc barr ) is so attracted by her that he attempts necrophilia . 
we see him crawling away after a shock . 
in the middle of sex the dead teen has come back to life . 
- the morgue attendant was just adding a new form of sex to his collection of kinks . 
he was already part of a group that gets together for s/m sex . 
the revived teen , teresa ( elodie bouchez ) joins them . 
- moral dilemma of teresa's father . 
ben has abused his daughter's body , but in doing so has saved her life . 
- part of this opaque allegory is a man saved from suicide who joins in the sexual hijinx . 
also involved is a man in the final stages of dying of aids , a close friend of the morgue attendant . 
he does not get involved in the orgies . 
- the subtitles of our print were white , often on a white background making them often hard to read , but i don't think there was a whole lot of meaning there that was lost . 
- the title means "" don't let me die on a sunday . "" 
"
"-1","you know that a movie has issues when most everyone in the audience comes out laughing . . . and 
it's not a comedy ! 
and what a strange career path for director chuck russell . 
he starts his career off with a decent take on the "" nightmare on elm street "" series with his debut as director on installment number three . 
he follows that up with the blob the very next year , but waits another six years to do his next piece , a little film called the mask starring jim carrey , and then one more star vehicle in eraser two years after that . 
so then he thought , "" let me wait another five years , get a weak script jammed with cliches and hope that jimmy smits and kim basinger could pull it out of its ashes "" ? ! ? 
strange dude and one crappy flick . 
plot : a six-year old girl is believed to be some kind of mysterious prophet sent down from god . 
a satanic cult wants the girl to switch over to their side , while the girl's aunt wants to . . . well , 
save her from those damn devil worshippers ! 
enter one occult expert agent , plenty of bobo cops and lots of nuns praying , and you've just about got the gist of things here . 
critique : with plot holes the size of my ass , this movie barely squeezes any sense out of its clich ? -ridden plot , with wasted talent , cheezy effects , bad dialogue and unintentional laughs to boot . 
what's good about this movie ? 
well , rufus sewell is pretty fun to watch as the head of a creepy runaway children's shelter/satanist supreme , with seriously wicked eyes and just enough ham in his performance to go with all of the cheese lying around . 
the little girl is also pretty good but unfortunately her character doesn't really do all that much . 
and believe it or not , i was actually enjoying some of the film's first half hour , which starts off with some promise , but not before bonehead moves after bonehead moves from our protagonist , basinger , just drown the film's entire basis of believability . 
for some reason , it takes her more time than anyone to figure out that her niece is gifted , and even longer to figure out that every move that she makes . . . is 
a dumb one ! 
add that to the entire police force of incompetents , save for jimmy smits ( whose talent agent advised him that playing the exact same cop character from nypd blue would be a good career move ? 
at least change the clothes , jimmy ! ) , zero scares , zero thrills and even less actual drama , and you've got yourself a pretty bad movie . 
and why would respected actors like christina ricci and ian holm take bit parts in this movie ? 
did they owe the director a favor or something ? 
together , they barely have five minutes of screen time , but i suppose that ricci's hospital room scene might be worth a look for some of you horn-dogs . 
the worst part about this movie is its hilariously unbelievable ending , which features police officers coming up with the brilliant idea of "" sneaking up "" on a man's house , who they know to be guilty of a crime ! 
uuuhmm . . . how's 
about knocking on the door and arresting his sorry ass , officers ? ! 
anyway , i don't usually inscribe spoilers in my reviews but the stupidity of some of these characters is just too difficult to describe without validating it with solid idiotic proof ( and there was plenty to go around ) . 
and did basinger lose some of her acting "" talent "" during her hiatus from the profession after her 1997 oscar win ? 
difficult to say if it was her lines that were really bad , or if she just delivered them poorly . 
either way , little originality , very obvious computer effects , little thrills , little drama and very little entertainment value , certainly bestow the honor of one of the worst movies of the summer upon this film . 
but if you really don't mind a rehashed gobbledygook of various satanic and "" kid "" -based thrillers , and enjoy watching films that don't bring anything new to the table . . . well , 
drink some beers , smoke some beans and rent this video , because it may just be one of the funnier thrillers of the year . 
"
"-1","adam sandler vehicles are never anything special , but continue to make a load of money . 
which really goes to show the sad state of cinema today . 
while good comedies like rushmore , to choose a recent example , gets limited release and doesn't make a lot of money , big daddy got a huge release and has made a lot of cash . 
it's also nothing special and doesn't deserve the money it's making . 
but i digress . 
sandler plays sonny koufax , a unemployed new yorker with a seemingly low mental age . 
his girlfriend makes a ultimatum to him : either wise up and get responsible , or she's leaving him . 
by a strange set of events , koufax ends up with julian ( played by twins cole and dylan sprouse ) a five year old kid . 
after a failed attempt to impress his girlfriend with the child , koufax decides he wants to keep the child . 
however , social worker mr brooks ( mostel ) finds out that koufax isn't the real father and wants to take julian back . 
koufax along with his new girlfriend layla ( lauren adams ) fight to keep the child . 
big daddy really isn't that good . 
many of the jokes revolve around toilet humour , and supposedly we are meant to find julian and sonny peeing against a wall to be funny . 
there's the occasional good one liner , but these are usually strangely delivered wrong and lose most of the humour . 
the film , after all these silly gags , then suddenly turns sentimental , and this is where big daddy really goes from bad to hideous . 
the court scene at the end of the film is useless and unbelievable , and not helped by the soppy overacting . 
it's a poor attempt to win over the audience . 
adam sandler basically plays the same role he has in his last few films ( except the wedding singer . ) 
joey lauren adams is much , much better , and deserves a far better film than this trash . 
steve buscemi pops up in a funny cameo , and his scenes are pretty funny . 
rob schneider is also funny as a crazy delivery man . 
the two twins who play julian are o . k , they start out rather well , but then becoming annoying and brattish halfway through and finally turn 'all american' wholesome goodness at the end of the film , where the tear juice is turned up high . 
big daddy is really nothing special , and is not even worth it for a few chuckles . 
although it is actually well put together , with nice direction , good production design and even some montages , this professionalism can't help the fact that the script and characters are trash . 
big daddy is for die hard fans of sandler , and that's about it . 
"
"-1","deserves recognition for : making this relatively youthful critic feel extremely old and crotchety20 
capsule review : this is what feel-good family entertainment has morphed into in the 90's : an hour-and-a-half commercial , disguised as an unnecessary remake , in which the defining image is that of a grown man launching a volume of green protoplasmic goo out of his ass . 
 ( between this , rocketman , and george of the jungle , disney has recently eclipsed longtime champion troma as the studio most likely to include a fart joke in a film . ) 
as the absent-minded professor who invents the titular computer-generated goop , a listless robin williams manages the difficult task of making original lead fred macmurray seem sprightly . 
the only thing that made this film borderline tolerable for me is my newly-founded but firm belief that writer/producer john hughes is going to spend his eternal afterlife being conked in the noggin by all of the different blunt instruments he's used for comedic effect in films like this and the odious home alone series . 
take your kids to see boogie nights instead . 
"
"-1","any movie that kills emilio estevez off in the first fifteen minutes has something going for it . 
unfortunately , this and the familiar theme music are the only worthwhile things about mission impossible , directed by brian depalma . 
the first problem is that this film has absolutely no connection with the tv show whatsoever , aside from the music . 
the tv show was about an impossible mission force whose deft teamwork , orchestrated by jim phelps , allowed them to counfound evil dictators of mythic banana republics from inflicting their sordid schemes upon the world . 
teamwork was the key . 
this film is set up as a cross between james bond and depalma's "" blow out , "" where the john travolta character was the victim of real and imagined conspiracies from all directions . 
it was travolta's vulnerability that made that film so exciting and claustrophobic . 
in this film , tom cruise is basically omniscient ( believe that ? ) and so there's no fun going on here whatsoever . 
the story is about as contrived as contrived gets , and is full of holes . 
there are basically two memorable sequences : one involves breaking into a kubrickesque computer room -- a task that could have been made much easier had the characters a whit of common sense ( suffice it to say that the alarm system is disengaged when the computer operator is in the room ) ; the second involves a high-speed train , a helicopter , and the chunnel and does not have to be seen to be disbelieved . 
the actors are all miscast , especially emannuelle beart as jim phelps wife , who cannot act , and ving rhames as a computer hacker ( ! ) , who looks lost and embarrased to be in this movie . 
tom cruise is no james bond , and jon voight looks more like bobby "" the brain "" heenan than jim phelps . 
brian depalma's career has been bafflingly erratic . 
at his best , he beats hitchcock at his own game ( "" blow out , "" "" carrie , "" "" body double "" ) but this is not his best . 
the screenplay was partly written by robert towne , who wrote the best scenario of the seventies in "" chinatown , "" but this script is perfunctory at best , and terrrible at worst . 
the cinematography has a comic book red/blue emphasis , which is nice to look at , but the suspense sequences are all telegraphed and this movie even features the old "" killer who talks too much before shooting thus giving the victim time to think of an escape "" trick . 
please don't spend your money on this ; it'll only encourage hollywood to make more . 
"
"-1","movies based on video games , such as street fighter or mario bros . , have never generated much interest at the box office . 
but when the first mortal kombat movie came out in 1995 , it did surprisingly well . 
with a simple story , a pulsating soundtrack , and lots of awesomely choreographed fight scenes , the movie moved quickly and displayed lots of energy . 
it got my vote for 'the movie where i expected the least and got the most' . 
and , if you haven't had the opportunity , i would definitely recommend that you see it on video . 
in the world of mortal kombat , based on the popular arcade game , dark forces from outworld try to infiltrate earth's realm with the ulimate goal of total conquest and the destruction of humanity . 
the mortal kombat refers to a competition , fought by human mortals against outworld's minions , which if won , will guarantee earth's safety for another generation . 
mk2 picks up almost immediately after the humans return victoriously from competition . 
despite their victory , however , a gateway has somehow opened , and outworld continues in its quest to conquer earth . 
outworld's warriors include an impressive collection of fighters , including shao kahn , mintoro ( a centaur ) , sheeva ( a four-armed ogre ) , and sindel . 
earth's mortal warriors , under the leadership of the benevolent god , lord rayden , includes liu kang , princess kitana , sonya blade and jax , who must fight against outworld's forces . 
it's an easy enough premise , but unfortunately ( very unfortunately ) , the writers try to do too much with the movie . 
it is only a video game , after all , but the on-screen version tries to go beyond it's comic book boundaries by adding depth , a conceptualization of self-worth , and worst of all , a love story . 
this becomes very awkward , because all of the players are fighters and nothing more . 
they are likable and impressive when they are showcasing their martial arts and fighting skills , but look extremely awkward and uncomfortable when they are required to actually act . 
this becomes embarrassingly apparent , for example , as the movie tries to develop a romantic bond between liu kang and princess kitana . 
the original mk was smart in letting the players do what they do best . 
they spoke little , but fought a lot . 
thus , the movie was easy to digest . 
however , mk2 tries to give these players a certain amount of depth , an element that was lacking in the first movie , but the attempt here fails miserably . 
this uneasy feeling is readily apparent , for example , whenever you hear lord rayden speak . 
not only does he talk in riddles and offer enigmatic ( e . g . 
useless ) advice , but he speaks so slowly as if to simulate infinite wisdom . 
try reading this half as fast , and you'll hear what i mean . 
but the movie is not a complete fatality . 
fight scenes are well-choreographed , highlighted by terrific acrobatics and agility . 
and players of the game will be rewarded with the inclusion of practically every character from the video game , although their screen time amounts to nothing more than a cameo . 
even if you're not familiar with the video game , each fighter has their own costume and unique weaponry to easily differentiate themselves . 
but it's just too little of what movie-goers and especially fans of the game will expect . 
oddly , the inclusion of the human element actually pollutes the purity of the mortal kombat essence . 
and the poor acting results in a muddled movie that offers the viewing audience little chance for survival . 
 ( i am now talking very slowly as if to simulate infinite wisdom ) . 
rent the first one , but the sequel is for kombat fans only . 
"
"-1","if you don't think kevin kline in drag is funny , wait ? til you see will smith in drag-it's even less funny . 
by the time jim west ( smith ) disguised himself as a belly dancer to bail his captured comrade , artemus gordon ( kline ) , from the clutches of evil dr . loveless ( branagh ) , i was unequivocally bored by wild wild west , the new summer blockbuster from men in black director barry sonnenfeld . 
is the old west really a breeding ground for high comedy , anyway ? 
 ( if your answer is no , then you recall rustler's rhapsody or back to the future part iii ; if your answer is yes , you're thinking of blazing saddles , but that movie was a parody of the western genre , not a nineteenth century romp . ) 
1869 . jim west is a quick-draw lawman who teams up with brainiac federal agent gordon , under orders from president grant ( kline again , whose impression , for all we know , is dead-on ) , to apprehend legless loveless , the mad inventor who is plotting to divvy up the united states and sell it back to britain and spain . 
how will loveless accomplish this ? 
well , by hulking around the desert in an enormous , mechanical tarantula , of course . 
bosomy dance hall girl rita escobar ( hayek ) , whose scientist father was kidnapped by loveless , joins west and gordon on their gadget-filled train . 
 ( gordon first discovers rita in a cage , waiting to be rescued . ) 
racial politics obviously prevented the filmmakers from pairing dull rita romantically with west , despite the movie's "" hip "" attitude toward the black thing . 
 ( west automatically shoots anyone who calls him a "" nigger "" before that person can finish speaking the word . 
super . ) 
at any rate , i kept waiting for rita to say something humourous , but she's a walking dress-up toy . 
 ( her single comic moment is also the best shot of the film : she bashfully reveals bare bumcheeks through the peek-a-boo flap of her pyjamas . ) 
jim west is the role that finally stymied will smith , whose comic timing has always been hit or miss , as episodes of "" the fresh prince of bel-air "" demonstrate . 
smith's a better reactor than actor , which is why he was so thoroughly engaging in men in black-he didn't start out a hero . 
in wild wild west he's required to exude eastwood cool and amuse at the same time ( and from frame one ) , a difficult feat i'm not sure any living performer could pull off . 
smith is ill equipped , for example , to handle the moment in which jim west performs stand-up for some rednecks at his own hanging . 
what attracted sonnenfeld to this material ? 
this isn't the first time he has adapted a tv show for the big screen ( the addams family , anyone ? ) , but it's the first big stinker of his career as a director . 
wild wild west is poorly-paced bombast , full of doa gags ( ted levine shows up as a general who uses a gramophone horn for a hearing aid ; levine played buffalo bill in the silence of the lambs-he's too intense to get an intentional laugh ) , lousy special effects ( the bluescreening is amateurish-foregrounds are never proportionate to the backgrounds ) , and frequent illogic . 
 ( to wit , its ridiculous villain so badly wants jim west out of the way that he . . . drops 
him onto a steel platform to do battle with some generic , ugly henchmen , instead of shooting him at point blank rage with one of the many guns on board the tarantula . ) 
wild wild west's bright spots , such as the cool opening credits sequence , bai ling's all-too-brief appearance as a femme fatale , or the brilliant "" his master's voice "" joke , are all part of the film's first half , which is more clever and enjoyable , at least , than its second . 
when , towards what seemed like the end of wild wild west , gordon proposes the idea of building an airplane and west rejects it , there was a collective groan among audience members : it meant we were going to have to sit through another loud action sequence before gordon builds the glider , the invention of which would inevitably lead to the proverbial whiz-bang finale . 
"
"-1","if you have ever seen fox tv's special car chase programs , you'll have a good idea about the content of ronin , the new action "" thriller "" from director john frankenheimer . 
the film involves a mysterious briefcase , that several groups of terrorist want to get their hands on . 
an irish women , dierdre ( played by the truman show's natascha mcelhone ) , hires a group of mercenaries to assist her in getting the briefcase . 
among the people she hires are sam ( robert de niro ) , vincent ( jean reno ) , and gregor ( stellan skarsg ? rd from good will hunting ) . 
dierdre's groups assignment is too seize the briefcase while the current owners are transporting it . 
they accomplish this task , but a traitor is in the bunch and the briefcase is soon on the run again . 
the briefcase stays on the run , as the movie leads the viewer through several plot twists that are badly executed . 
the writer seemed to be attempting to make a smart action movie , but failed to understand that just because there are surprises , it doesn't add too the credibility of a senseless script . 
the plot twists get no reaction because they come at a time where no one cares what is going on , after the apparent climax of the film . 
but to add to the excitement , as i mentioned earlier , there are endless car chase scenes . 
they are unrealistic and fail to add anything to the story . 
don't get me wrong , i love car chases , but they were overdone and too long here . 
we never do find out what's in the briefcase , but i doubt anyone cares by the time they finish sitting through this two hour long attempted thriller . 
"
"-1","the happy bastard's quick movie review 
wild wild west 
a better name for this movie might've been "" wild wild waste "" . 
warner bros . , in an attempt to get their own men in black style of movie , had managed to lasso in some big names ( actor will smith and director barry sonnenfeld , the duo behind mib's success ) in order to get their own fourth of july blockbuster , a contemporary big-screen update to the classic western/sci-fi series the wild wild west starring robert conrad . 
but somehow , they ran into a problem along the way . 
they were so busy trying to fill specific roles that they forgot one in general that would've made all the difference- a story writer . 
wild wild west's story and script was compiled by six different people , rather than just the one who put the brilliant touches on men in black , ed solomon . 
if warner bros . had gotten him , the movie would've possibly been five times better than what it is . 
heck , ten times . 
as is , however , the story and screenplay is a mess , filled with dead laughs , enough racist and sex jokes to make even will cringe as he's performing them , and a complete lack of chemistry that made the tv show work so well . 
here's the story : us army member james west ( will smith ) teams up with creative genius artemus gordon ( kevin kline ) to take on a ruthless villain by the name of arliss loveless ( kenneth branagh ) , whose lower half was blown off during the civil war , leaving him to roll around in a steam-controlled wheelchair . 
they catch onto a plot of his involving a superweapon that can basically be considered an 80-foot tarantula ( although it looks bigger than that ) , hellbent on destroying anything in its path . 
as i said , the way the script unfolds is a complete mess . 
but the acting doesn't help either . 
kevin kline is miserable as gordon , failing to display even a smidgeon of care as he did in the 1985 western silverado . 
smith seems to be having a better time as west , although he's not nearly as charming as he was in mib . 
branagh goes excessively over the top as the villain , perhaps to the point where we can't even stand to look at him or his strange beard . 
and salma hayek is along for the ride to search for her missing father , but mostly she exists just for sexual attention . 
her acting is barely passable , but what a "" breath of fresh ass "" . 
director barry sonnenfeld isn't of great help either . 
even though he shows some good creativity at some points , his overall urgency for directing is lost . 
it's as if he feels he's directing a tv movie , a big no-no when you're helming what's supposed to be a big-screen hit . 
last but not least , there are huge gaps of logic that are just plain unacceptable . 
at one point , smith defies gravity when first boarding kline's train . 
he jumps on the back , gets launched straight up in the air , and somehow manages to land three cars ahead on the train- while it's still in motion ! 
also , he seems to be strangely comfortable talking about racism in front of a lynch mob , particularly considering the fact that his family was killed by the likes of such folks . 
last but not least , why is he still making kissing faces when he knows he's not kissing a woman as he's looking through a peephole at the enemy ? ! 
the only saving grace for wild wild west come mostly in the form of special effects . 
the huge mechanical spider is a technical marvel , very authentic looking and considerable to the creativity of the show . 
there's also a good sequence involving metal magnet neckbraces and spinning saw blades , but , again , a logic question comes into play regarding their polarity . 
i would say sit back and have a good time with wild wild west , but it really isn't possible . 
if the racist and sex jokes don't bother you , the performances will . 
if the performances don't bother you , the story will . 
if the story doesn't bother you , the racist and sex jokes will . 
there's no end to the vicious circle . 
go rent men in black instead and pretend smith and tommy lee jones are wearing cowboy hats . 
you'll have a better time . 
if you do go , keep an eye out for robert conrad in a role as president grant . 
i bet he wishes he were somewhere else . . . 
"
"-1","old soldiers never die , they just turn into cliches 
soldier a film review by michael redman copyright 1998 by michael redman 
the warrior and the lover are two personality aspects that find it difficult to exist in the same body . 
jungian archetypes , these two opposites need each other to create a whole , but it's difficult to integrate both . 
often we'll encounter lovers who think everything is just wonderful and , with the help of jung's magician , sit around imagining grand schemes . 
without the drive to manifest their plans , much less the wisdom to recognize the darkness , all they have are dreams . 
warriors on the other hand , are ready to go to war at the drop of a hat , and will do combat with every last bit of their energy . 
they don't care enough about anything to know what's worth fighting for : gladiators who live only for the battle . 
this dichotomy not only describes individuals that we all know , but can also illustrate societies . 
america during the late sixties was a conflict between old style cold warriors and the new hippie lovers . 
todd 3465 ( kurt russell ) is a living , breathing archetype . 
chosen from birth as a soldier , he is raised by the government to be a killing machine . 
his childhood is cruelty and competition . 
he is indoctrinated with the big rules . 
never question authority . 
winning is everything . 
strength beats knowledge . 
a veteran of numerous intergalactic wars , todd is 40 and he's obsolete . 
a new generation of genetically engineered soldiers are faster and stronger . 
left for dead after a test battle with the best of the new killers , caine 607 ( jason scott lee ) , he's unceremoniously dumped as trash on arcadia 234 , a garbage world . 
obviously our hero is still alive . 
he finds a group of shipwrecked settlers abandoned on the planet who nurse him back to health . 
when the peace-loving colonists get a good look at who todd is , they are afraid of him and he is exiled to live by himself amid the junk on an environmentally hostile world . 
they are the other good guys . 
these lovers find that they need a warrior when the military coincidentally chooses this world to conduct exercises for their improved human weapons . 
todd finds himself in the role of protector . 
what could have been a fascinating look at the roles played in our culture and the fears of an ultra-right wing future is ruined by turning the film into a cartoon . 
the effects are mostly second-rate explosions or jerky slow motion . 
the plot is old hat . 
we don't get even a glimpse at the society that created the soldiers . 
hardly anything makes sense . 
the film's science fares badly . 
with all the remarkable advances we've made in just 37 years ( the film takes place in 2036 ) , we're still stupid . 
after conquering the stars , for some reason we use vast amounts of energy to load up huge space ships with rubbish tote it to a landfill light years away . 
even stranger , the garbage barges appear to double as time machines . 
virtually all the trash is vintage 1960 . 
there is nothing in the story that is not predictable . 
the first thing that todd sees after coming back to life is sandra ( connie nielsen ) , the woman just a little too beautiful to be living in such harsh conditions who is taking care of him . 
it doesn't take a genius to foresee that her husband isn't going to be around much longer . 
is it a shock to find out that the film's climax is an unarmed battle between todd and caine ? 
who would you guess wins ? 
some of the scenes would work if this were a comedy . 
todd's first awakening of human emotion comes when he glimpses connie's nipple poking through her thin blouse . 
later as he sits by his lonely campfire , a tear rolls down his dramatically lighted cheek in slow motion . 
supposedly this clich ? isn't meant to be humorous . 
dastardly col . mekum ( jason isaacs ) with a pencil-thin mustache is as real as snidley whiplash . 
responsible for last year's quirky and visually enticing but problematic "" the fifth element "" , director paul anderson sees the film as "" shane "" in outer space . 
maybe , if shane were played by sylvester stallone in rambo mode . 
the movie doesn't even work as an action film . 
there is never a question as to the outcome . 
somehow the new superior soldiers don't prove much of a match for todd . 
the acting isn't anything to write home about . 
nielsen almost comes across as a real person but is soon relegated to a background victim . 
russell is buffed-up and does a credible job but it's not much of a challenge . 
uttering around 100 words during the film , mostly what todd does is hit things and stare grimly into space . 
gary busey as todd's commanding officer is completely wasted in his low-key role . 
everything blows up and occasionally it looks cool . 
sometimes the sets are impressive . 
unfortunately "" occasionally "" and "" sometimes "" don't make a film . 
most disappointing is that the screenplay is by david webb peoples who wrote "" blade runner "" , possibly the best science fiction movie ever made . 
sharp-eyed viewers will notice a few obscure references to that film . 
peoples says that this is not a "" blade runner "" sequel , but a "" sidequel "" that takes place in the same universe . 
although that may have been the intent in his original script , the result is more like a bad television series that the "" blade runner "" replicants watch to pass time . 
perhaps those artificial humans would find this entertaining . 
 ( michael redman has written this column for over 23 years and wants to wish everyone an appropriate halloween . . . whatever 
you'd like it to be . ) 
"
"-1"," "" what is this , a homicide or a bad b-movie ? "" 
that is the prophetic question asked by one of the leads in one of the early scenes of this movie . 
let me clear things up for you cupcake , this isn't a bad b-movie , it's a really bad b-movie . 
so bad , it's almost good . 
almost , but not quite . 
the movie starts off in the 1950's with space aliens sending a botched experiment down to earth . 
it is a bunch of slug-like creatures that kill people and take over their bodies . 
the slugs' first and only victim in the fifties is cryogenically frozen where he is of no danger to anybody . 
that is , until two loser university students unfreeze him in 1986 . 
he , and the slugs inside him , promptly begin wreaking havoc and turning more co-eds into slug zombies . 
a slightly crazed cop ( tom atkins ) and the requisite girl with the face of an angel ( jill whitlow ) join these two geeky university students ( jason lively and steve marshall ) to do battle with the slugs . 
it more or less falls on the four of them to make the world safe again from the evil slugs . 
the acting is bad with a capital b . the story is worse . 
and the special effects are somewhere between an old rerun of star trek and what you see in a home movie . 
the only saving grace was the requisite tit-shot courtesy of jill whitlow . 
it had absolutely nothing to do with the story -- but i liked it . 
actually , it was the high point of the movie for me . 
of course , that isn't really saying much . 
the story moves around in a hap hazard fashion . 
which gives it a leg up on some other horror films . 
unlike most movies of this genre , there actually is a story . 
not a great one , but it is there . 
this is one in a long line of movies from the 1980's that were thrown together to capitalize off the success of the friday the 13th , halloween and nightmare on elm street movies . 
you could randomly select a movie out of the horror section of you local video store and probably luck into something just as good if not better . 
but night of the creeps might make a nice addition to a b-movie horror marathon . 
just don't be too upset if you can't find it . 
you really won't be missing that much . 
"
"-1","there's a scene early on in "" jawbreaker "" where a character utters the unintentionally prophetic line , "" that is * so * not funny "" . 
how right she was . 
this pathetic tale of three high-schoolers who accidentally kill their best friend in a birthday kidnapping prank gone horribly awry is never even remotely funny . 
or fun . 
or original . 
not content with the too-obvious "" heathers "" heisting , the filmmakers proceed to lift freely from a staggering variety of sources , including "" carrie "" , "" bride of frankenstein "" , "" blue velvet "" , and even shaw's pygmalion , itself recently remade as "" she's all that "" . 
 "" jawbreaker "" is a pastiche , and not even an enjoyable one . 
i find it extremely telling that the most engaging part of the film is the credit sequence , a jawbreaker factory montage inexplicably backed by veruca salt's "" volcano girls "" ; serving as a blueprint for the rest of the film , the song has absolutely nothing to do with the footage we're watching . 
just close your eyes and pretend you're listening to an alt-rock station ; you won't be missing anything . 
the blame for a mess this big has to be spread around among the principals . 
rebecca gayheart , following roles in "" scream 2 "" and "" urban legend "" , should have known better than to take yet another role in yet another teen body count movie . 
pam grier has totally wasted any credibility she might have gotten from her role in quentin tarantino's "" jackie brown "" . 
and rose mcgowan should just quit acting . 
she has no charisma , no presence , and no acting skills other than rolling her eyes and looking disaffected . 
mcgowan manages to be upstaged by her real-life boyfriend , rocker marilyn manson , whose fifteen second role here is far more interesting than anything any of the "" real "" actors are doing . 
manson , sans trademark makeup & contact lenses , and with an obviously fake moustache , looks eerily like nicholas cage ; who woulda thunk it ? 
that crack about direction by committee wasn't merely a pithy sound-bite . 
stylistically , thematically & narratively , "" jawbreaker "" is all over the map , varying wildly in tone & content from scene to scene . 
though credited solely to writer/director darren stein , one gets the feeling that no two scenes here were actually guided by the same hands . 
if stein was indeed responsible for the whole of this atrocity , someone needs to get the man some drugs , pronto . 
prozac , lithium , kava , ritalin , something , anything . 
he's quite obviously in desperate need of chemical help . 
 "" jawbreaker "" is a monumental waste of effort and resources , and quite likely one of the single worst films i've ever seen . 
to call "" jawbreaker "" garbage would be to insult garbage . 
bad flicks for the rest of the year are safe ; i've already got my pick for worst film of '99 . 
 "" jawbreaker "" runs approximately 90 minutes , though it feels longer than "" titanic "" , and is rated r for language , sexual situations and graphic violence . 
not recommended for kids , teens , or anyone else . 
"
"-1","can you say "" dated "" ? 
you can if you've seen rosemary's baby which , like the exorcist , was a thrilling horror film in its time but seems boring and laughable in the decades that have passed since its original release . 
 "" mystery science theater 3000 "" has skewered the bad films of the past , but let me tell you , it could do a number on the "" good "" ones too . 
rosemary's baby stars mia farrow ( from the time she was actually good-looking ) as an innocent housewife and her not-so-innocent husband ( john cassavettes ) , an actor who takes an easy , albeit evil , road to success . 
it all seems so harmless in the beginning . 
mia and john move into an apartment where several past murders have been committed . 
 ( there's also a skull in the living room , but it's only for decoration . ) 
their elderly neighbors pop in for a housewarming . 
all's well for about the first hour of this slow-moving film , until mia eats some of the neighbors' chocolate mousse and passes out . 
when she comes to , she finds herself in a darkened room with a bunch of people yelling and dancing like savages and a big , evil man raping her -- a foreshadowing of her future life with woody allen . 
it seems like a dream and , when she finds herself pregnant , she almost forgets about it . 
and everyone's helping with the pregnancy . 
the neighbors have some wonderful vitamin potions for her to drink , a good-luck charm for her to wear around her neck , and the name of an obstetrician who's been in the business 66 . 6 
years . 
meanwhile , mia begins having chronic stomach pains and losing a lot of weight . 
before too long she looks just like the lead singer of the cranberries . 
that's when you know your health's failing . 
the only person in the movie who's the least bit suspicious of all this is an old friend ( maurice evans ) who calls mia up to give her the bad news -- and immediately falls into a coma . 
by about the two-hour mark i felt the same way . 
rosemary's baby is way too long , and leads up to a payoff that's about as boring and laughable as the rest of the movie . 
i guess someone put a spell on this movie . 
"
"-1"," "" the 44 caliber killer has struck again . "" 
starring john leguizamo , mira sorvino , adrian brody , jennifer esposito , michael rispoli , bebe neuwirth . 
rated r . 
summer of sam will be remembered as a waste of spike lee's abilities . 
lee is a great filmmaker , often exhibiting kinetic visual flair on par with brian depalma and martin scorsese and a storytelling ability comparable to steven spielberg . 
but here , he gets himself into a bind . 
his latest effort is a case of a director pretending he has something to say when in reality there is little of substance to absorb from his work . 
the summer of 1977 was an unusual summer in new york city . 
it was the hottest summer on record . 
to boot , new york's first serial killer was on the loose : calling himself the son of sam , david berkowitz killed 9 people in the new york area and frightened the whole city population . 
so it was understandable that when nyc was hit with a citywide blackout , people went berserk , causing billions of dollars in damage to the city . 
the movie's focus is on a group of twenty-somethings during that fateful summer : vinny ( john leguizamo ) , a club-hopping , adultrous hairdresser , his benevolent wife dionna ( mira sorvino , looking young ) , ritchie ( adrian brody ) , a punk who becomes an outcast as well as a son of sam suspect , a gang of small time mobsters and a few more minor characters . 
we follow them through their roller coaster lives , thrown out of whack even more by the recent killings . 
vinny and dionna have marital problems because vinny cheats and dionna tries to please him , make him stay faithful to her . 
ritchie gets shunned by his group of friends because he has started to become more and more "" eccentric , "" and has degenerated to the point of dancing in gay night clubs and making porno films with his girlfriend . 
tensions build and conflicts arise as the anniversary night of son of sam's first murder looms ; the night he promises he will strike again . 
a local gang with too much time on its hands makes a list detailing all of the people that its members think might be suspects . 
at the top of the list is ritchie . 
vinny , an unwilling part of the said group , is called upon to set a trap for his friend . 
as we watch these proceedings , some of which are painfully graphic , the dreaded "" so what ? "" 
question springs to mind . 
from the way this movie is made , i'd have guessed that spike lee was trying to tell us something , but as i searched deeper it became clear that there is very little there to find . 
lee touches on so much -- the media , the 70's punk scene , the details of the actual killings , as well as the characters' very personal dilemmas -- but he doesn't bring all of his topics together to form a coherent theme or make a discernible statement . 
all is not lost if a movie turns out to be hollow ; it can be a saving grace for the film to be enjoyable . 
too bad summer of sam doesn't get any help here . 
frankly , it's a bore , a redundant and repetitive two hour and twenty minute film that doesn't entertain beyond its first half hour . 
there is no suspense because the film refuses to be fully about the murders and little involving drama because the film is too muddled and its focus too vague . 
leguizamo's turn as vinnie is annoying and whiny . 
the script makes it clear that we're supposed to believe that his character is flawed , but still a good guy . 
you'd never guess from his performance . 
adrian brody and especially mira sorvino fare better . 
sorvino gives a riveting , touching performance in a banal movie ( i'm tempted to think that i liked her because nearly everything else around her was inane ) ; her character is affecting and her emotions true-to-heart . 
brody , too paints an effective portrait of a young guy desperate for attention who gets a little more than he bargained for . 
summer of sam has some superficial elements of a good film : it looks great , it has a few notable performances and i suppose it's pretty well directed , in a purely technical way . 
but it's also empty , pretentious and boring . 
like last year's the thin red line , it's a movie by a director who doesn't know what he wants to say but goes ahead and says it anyway . 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov&#137 ; 
"
"-1","wow , a film without any redeeming qualities whatsoever . 
i'm amazed that someone thought this was a story that must be told on screen . 
many blacks in hollywood complain that they are not nominated for awards based on their race . 
i think first they need to concentrate their energy on themselves , and stop making movies which makes them look like nothing more than sex-crazed buffoons . 
even i'm offended by it . 
bill bellamy is a "" player "" which means he sleeps with a lot of women and lies to them . 
what a pleasant main character . 
one day , his friends decide that they want to find out how to be a player . 
why they decide this "" one day "" i have no idea . 
how many years have they been friends and why all of a sudden would they want to learn ? 
anyway , bellamy agrees to teach , and his wonderful lesson to his friends consists of letting them ride in his car while he rides from house to house having sex with women . 
this is the bulk of the film folks , guys riding from house to house , one keeps getting out to have sex , while the others sit in the car . 
since russell simmons is producer , and since the official title of the film is "" def jam's how to be a player "" , i was ready to be jumping up and down and stomping my feet and beating the person next to me because of the comedy . 
amazingly , aside from gilbert gottfried's 90 seconds of screen time , there was no comedy in the film for me to express myself in such a manner . 
instead of jokes , there's just an endless stream of profanity and naked breasts ( and naked breasts aren't so bad , but naked breasts alone don't make a good movie ) . 
be sure to bring along your ebonics to english dictionary as well . 
gilbert gottfried's character serves as one in his very brief appearance , asking for explanations as to what is being said . 
they should have brought him along for the entire film . 
[r] 
"
"-1","bob the happy bastard's quickie review : 
the odd couple ii 
grumpy old men , it ain't . 
hell , my fellow americans , it ain't . 
walter matthau and jack lemmon team up again for an even more worn out vehicle than any of their films over the past few years . 
odd couple ii feels terribly generic , where in the first movie , made thirty one years ago , feels like a wonderful tale . 
that's like repackaging campbell's soup in a generic food can , really . 
how writer neil simon could've made such a horrible mistake in screen writing is beyond me . 
throughout the movie , i really didn't laugh once . 
honestly . 
i mean , there were dumb situations , yeah , like the cropduster who let these old geezers have it without any notice , but they just really didn't seem funny to me . 
and that car rolling off the cliff ? 
the only way i would've seen humor in that is if they were still in it . 
and the ending gets all super-mushy , too . 
in the final twenty minutes or so , lemmon meets a girl he thinks is the one , then loses her ; matthau talks to his son ( a wasted jonathan silverman ) about his amrriage to lemmon's daughter ; and , of course , lemmon and matthau have another roomie situation on their hands . 
ooh , i really gave a lot away there , i'm sure . 
consider it a hospitable gester , you won't waste your time renting this muck . 
"
"-1","the summer of 00' wasn't a very good one for devout cinephiles . 
it offered no blair witches or sixth senses ; the best big budget hollywood could do was an efficient x-men adaptation and a flawed but entertaining shaft update . 
nurse betty signals the unofficial end of that dreadful summer movie season and the commencement of a potentially brighter fall movie season , that battery-charging ( at least for critics who have to sit through every piece o' shit that moseys into multiplexes ) time of year when all those oscar contenders ( read : "" quality "" films ) compete for audiences . 
alas betty has the dubious distinction of being the first overpraised junk heap of the new season . 
it's also indie director neil labute's first attempt at something resembling a mainstream picture , and i'm sad to report it's a resounding failure ( at least on this web site ) , a mess that's as hopelessly saccharine as people have accused labute's previous films of being unrelentingly masochistic . 
i went in expecting something decent , for betty was gleefully praised , it's screenplay even winning an award at cannes , but i exited shaking my noggin in bewilderment . 
are critics so desperate for something unique that they're blind to how derivative the particular brand of "" uniqueness "" betty dolls out is ? 
for the first time labute is working from a script he has not written , and he seems unsure of how to handle the material . 
betty tries to be hip like pulp fiction ( this is another flick featuring a pair of strangely bright and articulate hit men ) , enchanting like the wizard of oz ( of which this film makes several allusions to ) and heartwarming like [stick in your favorite loveable misfit movie] , but by the end it left me cold with its calculated desperation . 
it's labute's half hearted attempt to make a crowd pleaser and he doesn't even seem to have half that heart in it . 
nurse betty concerns a soap opera addict , betty ( brilliantly played by renee zellweger ) , who witnesses the killing of her husband , del ( aaron eckhart playing the most casually loutish husband since richard benjamin in diary of a mad housewife ) by two hit men ( morgan freeman and chris rock ) . 
she happens to have her most beloved soap on in the background and somehow merges the two realities . 
she's blocked out her husband's death and thinks she's a character in her favorite soap , a reason to love . 
betty sets out on the road to la ( with some drugs unknowingly stashed in her car trunk ) searching for her soap boyfriend dr . david ravell ( greg kinnear ) while the two bickering hit men follow in not so close pursuit . 
the labute who birthed the extraordinary in the company of men , slipped a bit ( but not much ) with his sophomore effort , your friends and neighbors , then fell straight on his ass with bash , a play he penned that was recently aired on showtime . 
the play demonstrated no forward movement as an artist , only labute's persistence in wallowing in the horrid things "" average "" people do to each other , usually with out realizing how horrid they themselves are . 
in the play , paul rudd , as an obnoxious jock , delivers a monologue detailing how he once followed a gay man into a bathroom and beat him maybe to death , while his clueless girlfriend essentially regards his sadistic behaviors as something along the old maxim "" boys will be boys "" . 
another character , schlubby businessman reacts to the loss of his job by actually killing his own baby ! 
what was once so powerful about labute's work , the casual , nonchalant cruelty and selfishness ( often elements we all have in us amplified to a disgusting degree ) had become so over the top it was borderline comic . 
obviously , at this point , labute could use a dose of some different kind of material before he pigeon holes himself further , but nurse betty isn't it . 
he clearly has little passion for what he's doing here , instead replacing his mojo with strained quirks ( one of the hit men is a huge soap fan , and the character of betty would be little more than a one joke gimmick if zelllweger hadn't managed to transcend that ) tailor made to appeal to the widest possible audience . 
nearly every scene between chris rock and morgan freeman fatally slows the picture down , as the two are made to enact soft-boiled tarantino-esque dialogue . 
they evince little chemistry , with rock constantly in over the top rant mode , acting more like an angry comic than any thing resembling a hit man ( an occupation that's represented far too frequently in movies nowadays ) . 
i think rock is a great comic yet he hasn't been able to bring his feral intelligence to movies , whenever he acts , and no matter the part , it's like he's doing the damn chris rock show . 
surprisingly ( at least considering her work in me , myself and irene ) renee zellweger gives a revelatory performance , building on her baby faced , apple pie looks . 
that wide-open face and helium voiced earnestness suggests a little girl not fully grown into her thirty-year-old body . 
it's the best work she's ever done . 
freeman is effective as always , though his performance nonetheless suffers because it seems at odds with where the movie wants to take it . 
the actor plays the role in his usual calm , collected manner , though the flick tries to insinuate a symbolic kinship between his character and betty's , suggesting that both are controlled by their fantasies rather than reality . 
that's interesting but the movie doesn't do anything with it other than crash land the sub-theme into a labored speech in the midst of a badly staged gun battle . 
the film has good moments ( many of the scenes involving a very good greg kinnear , especially his confrontation with zellweger ) , an almost soothing , lyrical score ( and you know a movie's in trouble when the score sticks out as one of the best things about it ) but nothing jells , it's parts , good or bad , are so disparate as to be opposing . 
the film might have worked had it settled on being one type of film , a mainstream , female forrest gump or an oddball art film , but as both if it falls as flat as diet coke . 
betty's screenplay makes the mistake of relying too much on concurrence , without which betty wouldn't make any progress in the film . 
nurse betty is a film driven by coincidence rather than charter , like how betty becomes a nurse in the film , a job that she takes in order to get closer to her imaginary lover ; she happens to be at the hospital at the exact moment that a drive by shooting takes place and miraculously knows how to take care of the victim's wound because she happened to see how on tv , which leads to her being offered a room with the victim's girlfriend who eventually gets betty into a party where she meets kinnear ? ? ? a little too tidy , don'tcha think . 
betty has an interesting theme , though it doesn't even seem aware of this . 
the current state of tv has been leaning towards reality television what with the enormous success of survivor and moderate success of big brother , with more on the way . 
this is a film about a women so deluded as to think that her favorite soap opera is reality ( ironically real-life survivor sean kennif has taken a part as a doctor on the soap opera guiding light ) . 
instead of exploring this timely matter in a way relating to the current tv craze ( since the film does largely appear to be a satire of television , albeit one that would feel more appropriate in the '80s than the '00s ) , the film simply uses betty's delusions as a plot device to get her from point a to b . no progress is made and little is unearthed except that maybe labute could use a bit of rest and a lot of contemplation . 
"
"-1","what do you get when you rip-off good movies like woody allen's bananas and martin scorsese's after hours ? 
you'd think you'd get the best of both films . 
instead you get woo . 
falling in somewhere between def jam's how to be a player ( which was awful ) and booty call ( which was ok ) , woo is yet another in the embarassing genre of showing african-americans to be nothing more than sexual buffoons . 
the whole film plays out as a black version of after hours , as wild woman woo ( jada pinkett smith ) goes out on a blind date with straight-laced tim ( tommy davidson ) . 
mayhem follows them . 
for some unknown reason ( read : contrived screenplay ) davidson puts up with all of woo's antics for the entire night , which include her destroying his bathroom mirror , stealing things from his house , violently questioning him ( accusing and belittling him actually ) about previous girlfriends , causing a riot in an elegant restaurant , and other various infuriating things that any normal person wouldn't tolerate . 
but for the sake of this bad movie ? 
sure , why not ? 
there are a few chuckles in the film , the best being the scene swiped directly from bananas . 
in this case , davidson is running from thugs , gets into a subway car as the doors are closing , starts to taunt the thugs , then the doors open back up again . 
a good joke , but a stolen one . 
another chuckle is provided by billy dee williams' cameo as himself . 
movies like woo are seemingly released every three months or so , and not one of them has ever been a hit . 
woo won't be one either . 
so why was it made ? 
and more importantly , isn't there anyone else besides me who thinks these films are offensive ? 
everyone involved should really reconsider their careers at this point . 
[r] 
"
"-1","wild things is a way to steam up an otherwise dreary early spring day ? provided , of course , that you're the victim of a frontal lobotomy . 
there is , in fact , no doubt about who this motion picture is aimed at : movie-goers in their late teens and early twenties -- the most lucrative target group . 
this is film noir for the mtv generation : fast-paced , slick , flashy , gleefully mindless , and hollow to the core . 
wild things is easily one of the five dumbest movies to arrive in theaters during the first eleven weeks of 1998 . 
i've seen more convincing drama ( with nearly as much bare flesh ) on that pinnacle of narrative quality , baywatch . 
wild things wants to dupe viewers into thinking it's a thriller with a real story . 
what it is , however , is a series of increasingly- improbable and shockingly predictable plot twists . 
everything in between those serpentine moments is filler -- a flash of a breast , a spatter of blood , and some of the most idiotic dialogue this side of a steven seagal movie . 
the film tries so hard to surprise its audience that the twists end up being easy to guess -- just take a stab at the most unlikely thing to happen , and that will probably be it . 
using this approach , i was right three times and wrong only once . 
that's not a good average for a production that wants to keep viewers in the dark about what's around the next corner . 
the ad campaign uses two things to sell this movie : the hot , young cast and the old standby , sex . 
both have an abundance of screen time , although i'll admit that the film's erotic content is somewhat less impressive than i expected . 
nothing about wild things is exceptionally risqu ? . 
the soft-core sex sequences are generic , and don't generate much heat . 
the lesbian kisses can't hold a candle to those in bound . 
theresa russell and denise richards have only token topless appearances ( neve campbell , possessing an iron-clad "" no nudity "" clause in her contract , keeps her clothes more or less on ) . 
the film's greatest curiosity is a full frontal shot of kevin bacon climbing out of the shower . 
maybe a few girls will skip seeing a fully-clothed leonardo dicaprio for the thirteenth time in titanic to catch a glimpse of what kyra sedgwick ( mrs . 
kevin bacon ) is familiar with . 
the director of wild things is john mcnaughton , whose last effort was the finely-tuned psychological thriller , normal life . 
that movie featured copious sex , a pair of real characters , and a powerful script . 
it's difficult to believe that something this shallow could come from the same film maker . 
but i suppose we all need to put food on the table . 
mcnaughton appears to have completely lost his way here , in what is obviously a stab at mainstream success ( his previous wide-release picture , mad dog and glory , was a box-office disappointment ) . 
quick cuts and pretty sunrises can't even begin to cover up this movie's flaws . 
the main character ( and i use that term lightly , since no one in wild things shows more than an occasional flash of personality ) is sam lombardo ( matt dillon ) , a guidance counselor at florida's blue bay high school . 
a student , the deliciously curvaceous kelly van ryan ( denise richards ) , has a crush on him . 
one afternoon , she comes to his house to wash his car , and , when she leaves , her clothing is torn . 
after confessing to her mother ( theresa russell ) that she was raped , she goes to the police station , where she tells her story to detectives ray duquette ( kevin bacon ) and gloria perez ( daphne rubin-vega ) . 
they are skeptical about here claims until another girl , suzie toller ( neve campbell ) , comes forward with a similar tale . 
meanwhile , sam , convinced that he's being set up , goes to a shyster lawyer ( bill murray ) for help . 
the acting in wild things isn't very good , but none of the principals have much to work with . 
this is definitely not a character- based motion picture . 
not only does the ludicrous screenplay ignore the possibility that someone in the audience may have a triple-digit i . q . , but it doesn't bother to give any of the on-screen individuals even a hint of depth . 
the men and women populating the picture are there to look nice , but nothing more . 
matt dillon is given plenty of opportunities to flex his biceps . 
neve campbell gets to model the slutty look . 
denise richards strikes a fetching pose in a see-through , one-piece bathing suit . 
and nothing in the film gets a rise out of kevin bacon . 
the only one who's even remotely interesting is bill murray , and he seems to think he's in comedy , not a thriller ( maybe he's got the right idea ) . 
columbia pictures has specifically requested that critics not reveal the film's ending , which prompts the question : which ending do they want kept secret ? 
wild things has no less than three ( one occurs during the end credits , so stay seated ) , all of which are jaw-droppingly absurd -- a feat that joe eszterhas ( the writer of basic instinct and showgirls ) would be impressed by . 
thanks to jeffrey kimball's polished , kinetic cinematography , wild things always looks great , and george s . clinton's score keeps it pulsing and throbbing . 
but , no matter how shiny the superficial sheen is , this is still trash , and , like all garbage , it stinks . 
"
"-1","like a good action film should , "" metro "" has action that keeps you involved . 
some action films have action sequences that are so conventional , our attention is detracted and diverted by other thoughts . 
 "" the ghost in the darkness , "" which opened a few months ago , is a film that s action was so bland and uninvolving , it not only invited my thoughts to divert me , it nearly put me asleep . 
but "" metro "" is one of the best action films in a while . 
it is hip , sharp , nifty , and has nice little pieces of suspense and comedy . 
eddie murphy was in bad shape for a while . 
and this invites me to mention last year s "" the nutty professor , "" which was his blessed revival back to the position at which he used to be . 
 "" metro "" happens to be a lot better than any film in the "" beverly hills cop "" series . 
that is because "" metro "" takes itself seriously , but doesn t prevent itself from having a little fun . 
eddie murphy is at his best in the roles of responsible , and controlled people . 
the "" beverly hills cop "" movies all featured eddie as a reckless , wild cop , always crossing the line by just an inch . 
in "" metro "" he plays a hostage negotiator , so negotiation is his job , not his hobby or his preferred way out of trouble . 
his character in "" metro "" takes himself seriously . 
eddie murphy s mischievous trademark grin is hardly anywhere to be found in "" metro , "" and perhaps it is quite better off that way . 
murphy plays scott roper , and as i previously mentioned , he is a san francisco hostage negotiator . 
in the first tense situation in the film , we are introduced to roper s kind of work , as he tries to calm down a confused , unkempt young criminal who has taken captive the entire capacity of the san francisco bank he is holding up . 
murphy handles the scene seriously , without his usual happy-go-lucky , misfit humor . 
the film develops when its villain is established , and the villain here is the beguiling michael korda , a jewel thief , and murderer who likes to let cops know of his hostage fatalities by giving them the ear of the victim . 
 "" metro "" takes different twists and slight turns , and there is one great , virtuoso chase scene , involving the a cable car . 
cars flip . 
cars crash . 
cars turn over . 
and it is done so good in this film , i was reminded of "" speed , "" and the speeding bus that couldn t go under fifty mile per hour for very significant reasons . 
there are also some other good scenes in "" metro "" that a lot of films would rather choose not to have . 
scenes like the one with roper and his new partner are at the horse track roper is a gambler who knows all the tricks and roper teaches his partner a few little methods of betting and winning . 
of course , the writers tried to disguise the scene as being insignificant by having roper draw parallels between hostage negotiation and gambling . 
the scenes between roper and his girlfriend are nice , too . 
those are the scenes that make up "" metro , "" which is mainly about eddie murphy s maturing as a personality . 
the actor that i most enjoyed seeing in "" metro "" was michael rapaport , who plays roper s new partner , a lip-reading , book-skimming genius , and a master of observation . 
it was not the actor s presence that pleased me as much as the role he was cast in the role of a proclaimed genius . 
rapaport is an actor who i usually see in the role of the dimwit the really , really dopey dimwit . 
i hardly recognized him in "" metro , "" and it was quite a joy to be able to see him in a role like this i feel that i respect him more . 
there are two main types of villains in movies like this : the ones that are part of the story , and the ones that are devices . 
the villain in "" metro "" is no more than a device , but he is a darn good villain nonetheless . 
he is played by michael wincott , whose voice is pushed out in a abraded rasp , as if he smokes a cigarette between every take . 
wincott makes his villain , korda , as mean as could be , the classic type of villain who would push an old lady down a flight of stairs just for kicks , like richard widmark in "" kiss of death . "" 
and , in addition , wincott s physical appearance and mannerisms , in the film , actually reminded my of an arrogant friend i use to have , who is no longer on my good list . 
i liked "" metro , "" and i do not think would have worked with any other actor but eddie murphy . 
his past roles were the great ones but they were also a precursor to the maturing that would later take place , possibly from murphy s growing as a person , now having a family . 
 "" metro "" is a no-nonsense movie . 
it works as a buddy movie , which it does not overplay . 
it works as a dry comedy , which it does not overplay . 
it works as a suspense film , which it does not overplay . 
and it works as an action film , where it does have a tendency to occasionally go all-out . 
but who cares ? 
it still remains serious , and it does not overdo itself . 
oh , and there were plenty of explosions in "" metro , "" as well . 
how nice it was of the filmmakers to give us those . 
if there is one major objection i had to "" metro "" , it was the length , an area where a lot of action films seem to wear out their welcomes . 
 "" metro "" is a film that lasted a little too long , but it was still entertaining , and it gave me something to do while i waited for it to end . 
paul haynes "" > 
"
"-1","capsule : dumb dud of an entry in the body heat sweepstakes , and now something of a landmark for having spawned a jillion clones . 
basic instinct's worst crime is that it's not just a bad movie , but in many ways , an incompetent one as well . 
it's stupid in itself , and stupid to think its audience is as stupid as it is . 
it's supposed to be a thriller , but the plot is dead on its feet , and ultimately arbitrary ; it's only put into the movie to jerk us around . 
it's also supposed to be sexy , but it's instead got the unpleasant rawness of a teenager showing younger kids his collections of dirty pictures . 
it's a ripoff . 
the story opens with a rock star being murdered while in the throes of orgasm . 
the biggest suspect is an authoress , catherine tramell ( sharon stone ) , who wrote a novel in which the murder was eerily presaged . 
or maybe it's the work of a copycat ? 
these and other plot threads get fed to the detective who's on the case ( michael douglas ) , who has a few problems himself . 
like we wonder if his elevator goes to the top floor . 
we can measure with a stopwatch the time from them setting eyes on each other to the moment they are doing the mattress dance . 
joe eszterhas has written the screenplay , and he uses a device that he used before in the much better jagged edge : the killer's identity is kept a secret until the movie's final shot . 
this isn't in itself a problem -- the problem is that up until that point , we've been given nothing to work with . 
every clue in the movie -- every clue -- is ambiguous . 
the whole thriller aspect of the movie is a shill . 
red herrings , dead plot threads , violence , and kinky sexuality litter the movie like potholes in manhattan streets . 
they add up to zip , because they're not happening to people we care about . 
douglas's character is foulmouthed and bitter and that's it ; stone's character has an iron-on smile that never changes ; the rest are forgettable . 
when we don't even have the luxury of giving a damn about anyone in the movie , who cares what happens in it ? 
especially with an ending that is not only unsatisfying , but in many ways inexplicable ? 
 ( a friend of mine once came up with a rule of thumb about movie characters : "" if no one in the movie behaves like anyone you know , or would * care * to know , just leave ! "" ) 
one of the nastier things about the movie is the way it treats lesbianism not as an integral part of someone's life , but as a kind of kink -- something to thrill men with . 
i despair whenever i encounter this kind of stupidity in mainstream entertainment ; are we still so culturally neanderthal that the only way to include something like that in a big-budget hollywood film is as a hefnerism ? 
"
"-1","capsule : gal is a 50s-ish london cockney gangster who has retired to spain . 
his old associates want him for one last job and send the vicious don to give him an offer he can't refuse . 
a standout performance by ben kingsley as don cannot save what is essentially a set of cliches recycled from old westerns . 
 , 0 ( -4 to +4 ) 
roger ebert asks in his review of sexy beast , "" who would have guessed that the most savage mad-dog frothing gangster in recent movies would be played by . . . 
ben kingsley ? "" 
my response would be that anyone who has seen alan arkin in wait until dark , henry fonda in once upon a time in the west , or anthony hopkins in the silence of the lambs should have guessed it . 
they should know that the way for a film to create a really creepy sociopath is cast someone who generally plays mild , sympathetic , or even ineffectual character roles . 
the same characteristics that make an actor seem gentle in most of his roles can work in his favor when a role calls for him to be fierce and vicious . 
that is the principle that works for kingsley in sexy beast . 
gary "" gal "" dove ( played by ray winstone ) has retired from a london career of crime and is living on a luxurious villa in spain . 
life has become a routine of sunning himself and relaxing . 
but his paradise is about to be shattered by a one-two-punch . 
the first punch is a boulder that comes rolling down the hill next to the villa . 
the second punch comes from gal's past . 
back in london gang boss teddy bass ( ian mcshane , tv's lovejoy ) is planning to break into a safety deposit room in a bank and he wants gal . 
he sends his most rabid henchman don logan ( ben kingsley ) to fetch gal . 
don will accept any decision gal makes from "" yes "" to "" certainly . "" 
however , if gal says "" no "" don will do whatever it takes to turn it into a yes including threatening guy's ex-porn- star wife deedee ( amanda redman ) . 
in the meantime don knows just how to get under everybody's skin . 
kingsley makes don a compact package of fury and nastiness . 
there are some serious problems in louis mellis's and david scinto's script that should have been caught before filming . 
when we see the actual crime we have no idea why gal was so important to its success . 
beyond an ability to use skin-diving gear , no special talents are required of him . 
any local hood could have done what gal is needed for . 
additionally the crime involves digging from a swimming pool to the bank vault , flooding the vault . 
no only could they have let the water out of the pool and avoided the complication altogether , but there is by far too much water to be accounted for by what was in the pool . 
in spite of the provocative title , the story is cliched and overly familiar . 
i know i have seen all the plot elements of sexy beast in old westerns like the law and jake wade . 
the story is usually of the reformed outlaw , a robert taylor type , who has hung up his guns and is trying for a life of peaceful respectability . 
the old gang , however , wants to do one more job with their old buddy and sends a rabid richard widmark type to go and git ? im . 
it is not a great plot . 
in sexy beast even the plot twists have gray beards . 
perhaps the film has a little more respectability because it was made not as a western but as a stylish british gangster film . 
it is an old plot dressed up to look new . 
if the plot is old , at least the style is creative . 
this is director jonathan glazer's first film , but he has reputedly done some notable tv ads for guinness stout . 
his style does have some unexpected touches including some very odd dream sequences . 
cinematographer ivan bird uses a lot of half lit scenes . 
we see one side of a person's faces . 
but the other side fades into the darkness , a sort of metaphor for the half-world these characters in-habit . 
half of everything that is happening is also kept hidden . 
we yanks will have a hard time with some of the dialog . 
at least in my theater it was difficult to make out the words with the quiet speaking , the heavy accents , and the cockney language . 
sexy beast is a very and familiar minor plot lent respectability in the us by being done in what is here a still somewhat novel genre , the london crime film . 
the plot may be new to british crime films , but it would be overly familiar as a western . 
further respectability comes from ben kingsley's high-powered performance . 
i give it a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"-1","synopsis : back-up quarterback moxxon becomes starting quarterback midway through his senior year of high school , even though he'd rather read "" slaughterhouse five "" than the playbook . 
evil football coach kilmer throws away moxxon's book , though , while the evil team physician injects painkillers into the players . 
in the meantime , moxxon's kid brother forms a cult , and a bubblegum-blond cheerleader smears whip cream on herself to seduce the new star quarterback . 
comments : since i usually review horror and science fiction films , i feel a little out of my league discussing this teen football movie . 
 ( pun intended . 
thank you ! ) 
varsity blues was produced by mtv , and it really shows . 
several extended scenes allow for a continual soundtrack of mediocre pop songs meant to appeal to the adolescent male audience this crap was intended for . 
the teenagers all have reasons for their melodramatic angst . 
the adults all have problems , of course , and , as one-dimensional characters , they are all fanatically obssessed with how their local high school football team performs . 
yes , this movie represents high school life in mtv-land . 
this is a land where your health teacher is also a part-time stripper , your ice cream store attendant girlfriend wears an egyptian ankh around her neck , your kid brother forms a "" cute "" cult , your football coach is an uncaring , obssessive madman , and your friends' lives consist of nothing but getting laid and driving around in cop cars naked . 
all you , as the main character , want to do , however , is read "" slaughterhouse five "" and attend brown university in the fall . 
well , at least this is a little more realistic than mtv's "" the real world . "" 
varsity blues stars james van der beek , this week's teen tv star making the leap to the big screen . 
he plays the hick moxxon adequately , though some of his emotional dialogue will make people chuckle . 
 ( "" you dawn't own mah life ! "" 
who would want to ? ) 
jon voight , the stock evil guy in countless other movies , is , surprise , the stock evil guy here . 
but is he really evil , or is he a product of society ? 
after all , everybody , young and old , in this movie has no life whatsoever and do nothing but obssess over high school football . 
maybe the pressures of the 90 screaming fans at the football field drove evil coach kilmer evil . 
the film's screenplay never answers this burning question . 
at times , iliff's story does show glimmers of touching or humorous scenes , but , before the audience gets their hopes up that there might be something redeeming in this movie , they get trashed with another lengthy party sequence or overwrought football game . 
the movie's pacing is slow , and the plot turns are mindnumbingly obvious from start to finish . 
i suppose i'm being a little hard on varsity blues . 
maybe i'm just a little miffed that i had to pay 3 bucks to see it , even though it was dollar night at the cinema . 
something about a request from the studio made the theater charge more money . 
i found the film oftentimes ludicrous and boring . 
three guys in front of us smuggled beer into the the theater . 
i wished i had thought of that . 
alcohol , lots of it , may have helped the viewing experience . 
"
"-1","susan granger's review of "" american outlaws "" ( warner bros . ) 
thomas edison's "" the great train robbery "" ( 1903 ) was the first western ever made and "" jesse james under the black flag "" ( 1923 ) first introduced the outlaw folk hero . 
now , more than 20 similarly-themed pictures later , jesse james and his notorious gang of outlaws ride again in a banal mtv spin on an american legend . 
the story begins as jesse ( charasmatic colin farrell ) and his brother frank ( gabriel macht ) , cole and scott younger ( scott caan , will mccormack ) and trusty comanche tom ( nathaniel arcand ) , after four years of fighting for the rebs in the civil war , return to liberty , missouri - only to discover union troops are occupying their hometown . 
and an avaricious east coast railroad baron , thaddeus rains ( harris yulin ) , is forcing farmers to sell their land at less than true value , aided by allan pinkerton ( timothy dalton ) and his infamous detectives who , back then , were just thugs who provided security . 
but when ma james ( kathy bates ) becomes one of their victims , jesse and the rest of the guys ( gregory smith , ty o'neal , joe stevens ) form the james-younger gang to wreak revenge by attacking the railroad's supply lines , sabotaging track and robbing the banks where the payroll is kept . 
plus there's romance - between jesse and a spunky hometown gal , lee mimms ( ali larter ) . 
working from a politically-correct , clich ? -drenched , sanitized and revisionist screenplay by roderick taylor and john rodgers , director les mayfield keeps the action fast-paced and goes for lightweight laughs when he can . 
the choppy editing hurts but russell boyd's cinematography , luke reichle's designer duds and trevor rabin's music lend authenticity . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" american outlaws "" is a galloping , formulaic 3 . 
it's the wild west re-visited as a date movie . 
"
"-1","dear god , this is a fantastically bad film ! 
regardless of what i say about knock off , you can't grasp its awfulness from my words . 
you have to see it and experience it for yourself . 
here's the kicker , though -- i suggest that you do so . 
yes , this is a bad film -- easily one of the most incompetent films of the year -- but it has a certain misguided charm that makes it a unique kind of disaster to endure . 
in fact , i enjoyed myself for most of its brief running time , despite the dreadful acting and a completely incomprehensible story . 
don't get me wrong : i'm not excusing knock off . 
it reaches an unacceptable level of badness ; it's so incoherent that i wonder if it was hacked up worse than the avengers was . 
it also features some truly terrible performances from lela rochon , michael wong , paul sorvino , and -- of course -- jean-claude van damme . 
it does , however , have the entertaining presence of rob schneider , and the excessively inventive and pretentious direction of tsui hark . 
as i watched it , i occasionally wondered if it was aware of its own awfulness . 
now , in retrospect , it seems clear that it wasn't , but it's still a fascinating kind of mess . 
i don't like writing plot descriptions ( it is , by far , the most boring part of writing a review ) , but , in this case , i'm off the hook : there is no way i could write an accurate synopsis for knock off . 
for the sake of comparison , i had no trouble understanding the usual suspects during my first viewing . 
i paid closer attention to knock off , and the only thing i am able to say about it is that van damme plays a dude named ray , and is accused by the cia ( i think ) of selling knock off products ( knock off products are , of course , products that look like name-brand materials but are generic and cheap ) . 
i don't know what any of this has to do with martial arts , but there are lots of martial arts in the film . 
ray is good at martial arts , so when he has to beat up bad guys , there's no problem . 
rob schneider plays his sidekick , although i had no idea who he really was by the end of the film . 
lela rochon is just some woman who accuses them of stuff , while paul sorvino is both the good guy and the bad guy at once ! 
in fact , every character goes through so many shifts from good to bad that the end provides absolutely no insight into what any of them really do . 
in that order , knock off is completely incoherent and makes absolutely no sense . 
but what a strange mess it is . 
it was written by stephen e . de souza , who also wrote die hard and 48 hours . 
can this be the same man ? 
i don't see how , unless , of course , huge chunks of the film have been removed for the sake of running time . 
knock off seems to have an interesting premise ( as far as action films go ) , but there's no semblance here . 
for instance , van damme is introduced , and then seconds later he's running a chariot race through the streets of hong kong . 
why ? 
who knows . 
what are the implications of this ? 
i have no idea . 
most action films abandon depth in favor of action , and this is normally a problem . 
knock off , however , is the first film that i would have preferred to see with all of the talky sequences cut . 
the acting is embarrassingly bad : rochon , in particular , delivers each of her lines with stiff and talentless insincerity . 
sorvino , in addition , deserves better than this . 
van damme is bad , but he's charming in that bad way , and so i can't say that he's hard to watch ( although i rarely understood what he was saying ) . 
the only exception is rob schneider , who is actually quite funny a lot of the time . 
tsui utilizes so many tricks that he makes john woo look tame by comparison . 
they're all pointless gimmicks though , such as shots of the inner-workings of a knock off running shoe . 
but his action scenes are never boring : one particular piece inside of a fruit factory ( a fruit factory ? ) is well-choreographed . 
lots of the scenes are pitched well to comedy , such as our heroes' first encounter with the rochon character . 
but did tsui know that his film is beyond ludicrous ? 
i hope he did , for the alternative is a frightening thought . 
knock off has the feel of a truly terrible exercise in camp mania . 
if it were boring , i'd give it zero stars . 
but it's not boring : it's loud and excessive and completely incoherent . 
it's also funny , even when it isn't meaning to be funny . 
a bad film that succeeds as entertainment doesn't deserve to be fully lambasted . 
i recognize knock off for its irrefutable badness , but i can't deny it's zany , useless charm . 
oh , i know , they're just action scenes looking desperately for a real story , but they're fun action scenes amongst a crowd of laughably inane concepts . 
it's fun to admire the awfulness of a film like this , but that doesn't excuse the fact that it is , indeed , awful . 
"
"-1","welcome to your oh-so typical sequel . 
it tries to be twice as big as it's predecessor , yet ends up twice as shallow . 
shallow . . . . hmm . . . now there's an idea . 
maybe if the ill-fated cruise liner in this movie had struck a shallow reef early on things may have turned out better . 
the first thing that struck me . . . and 
surprised me , was that the camera work ( for the opening sequence anyway ) was terrible . 
looked like the cameramen were drunk and kept tripping on their own feet . . . . . . very 
different to the original movie . 
the characters ? 
well , not many of the characters actually * had * characters , but here's a rundown . 
annie , who was the highlight of the the original , must have seriously banged her head in the train crash at the end of the first movie . 
why ? 
because something's got to account for her losing that many iq points . 
even though annie wasn't exactly a rocket scientist in speed , here some of her actions just make you want to beat your head against a wall . 
for instance , after successfully using a chainsaw to cut a hole in a door so that a group of people can escape noxious gases - she stands in the middle of the opening for about five minutes till someone reminds her that the people can't get ut till she get's the chainsaw out of their faces . . . . bang 
bang bang 
in point of fact sandra's character is turned into little more than one of those scantly dressed extras from hercules , who constantly has to be rescued . 
jason patric ? 
all i can say is bring back keanu . 
keanu reeves might have the emotional range of a tree stump . . . but 
that's one more tree stump than jason has . 
i don't think he changed facial expressions all movie - jason , smile for the cameras ! ! 
now frown ! . . . i said frown . . . . oh . . . you are . . . bang 
bang bang . . 
wooden just doesn't describe this guys performance , but it'll have to do . 
the bad guy . . . . . ahh . . . william 
dafoe - there's a bright move . 
how can you go wrong with the star from that acknowledged classic , body of evidence ? 
 ( yes , that is sarcasm ) . 
his wide eyed maniac of a character doesn't start out too bad . . . . but 
goes steadily downhill as the movie progresses . 
in the end he degenerates to chasing annie around for a hostage , even though he already has the money and can escape . . . . bang 
bang . 
though i'd like to give this movie a double thumbs down , there were some nice sequences . 
considering the movie cost over 100 million dollars - you'd hope there'd be at least a couple . 
the real eye-popper for me , even though it was given away in the trailer . . . . bang 
bang . . . . . was the sequence where the cruise liner sideswipes the oil tanker . 
this looks terrific and i was very surprised to hear that the cruise liner in it was . . . . completely 
computer generated ! 
wow . . . . i 
don't think i've ever seen a cg model look so real before . 
the sequence where jason patric in trying to disable the propellers from under the ship is also terrific , and the only time during the entire movie where you get that feeling of . . . . speed . 
this lack-of-speed problem affects many sequences . 
such as the oil tanker part . . . . . it was - "" oh no , we're going to hit the oil tanker ! "" , 
20 minutes later - "" oh no , we're going to hit the oil tanker ! "" 
20 min . . . . you 
get the point . 
this movie failed simply because it didn't live up to it's name . . . . there 
was very little feeling of speed . 
in the original movie , the lead characters had to make split second decisions to survive . . . . . in this movie it felt more like - "" well people , we're gonna run into that there island in a few hours - i think i might stroll over to engineering and see if i can't turn off the engines . . . i'm 
passing the cafeteria on the way , can i get anybody anything ? "" 
the ending of this movie really is terrible . 
even though it features what i've since found out is one of the most expensive sequences ever in a movie - it just doesn't work at all . 
the part where the liner crashes through the town looks very realistic , but . . . . surprise 
surprise - it just takes waaaaay too long . 
it seemed to go for 15 minutes before the ship finally stopped . 
one thing that struck me as extremely poor scriptiing was that as the ship crashes through the harbour and town , around 25 people are killed by the ship . . . . and 
there's only 15 or so people left on the ship . 
so when it stops safe and sound and the characters are all cheering - the audience is sitting back and thinking - "" wait a sec . . . this is a happy moment because ? "" 
bang bang 
then there was the dog . . . . . i 
almost fell out of my seat when i saw the bit with the dog dodging the falling debris . 
putting a dog in peril has become the ultimate hollywood cliche . . . . . . every 
movie seems to have a 'dog-in-danger' sequence - volcano , dante's peak , independence day , daylight , twister . 
lost world . . . . . . etc , 
etc . 
this movie is a perfect example of how not to make a sequel . 
director jan de bont should try watching the orignal movie and this one back-to-back and see if he realises where he went wrong . 
"
"-1","synopsis : the president of a company wants to test his self-appointed successor , who's psychotic , and thinks it's a great idea to spend a week with him and their wives in an isolated cabin a hundred miles from civilization with no dependable transportation or means of communication after a heavy snowfall . 
comments : tracks of a killer had a couple of strikes against it before i even began watching it . 
strike one was the fact that someone had scrawled the word garbage on the videotape's sticker in black marker ( not typically a good sign when you rent a film ) . 
strike two came while the previews played . 
did you ever get a sinking premonition about a movie's quality ( or lack thereof ) while watching the trailers that come before it ? 
well , the cheesy films being advertised before tracks of a killer were films that no one has ever heard of starring people no one knows , and they all looked bad ( definately not a good sign ) . 
tracks of a killer itself completed the strikeout . 
about the only positive thing this film had going for it was the fact that it sports some nice scenery . 
to be fair , the first half-hour or so promises at least a watchable thriller . 
wolf larson , who bears more than a passing resemblance to hugh grant , adequately plays the underling obviously set up as the killer of the film's title . 
james brolin and kelly lebrock seem equally adequate as the loving couple larson will later threaten . 
brolin's character , for some inexplicable reason , thinks its a great idea to spend some time in a cabin , practically isolated , with lebrock and larson , whom he's decided to test for the week before giving him full control of his company . 
by the time the characters arrive at the cabin , this film begins to become tedious . 
apparently , brolin's successor's test involves chopping wood for the fireplace and skiing , which don't seem like attributes necessary to run a business in the city . 
but , then again , what do i know about business ? 
i do think , though , that they should have invested in some better furniture for the cabin ; its beds and closets have a habit of just breaking at the slightest touch . 
larson's character accidently kills his own wife rather than the couple he wants to kill . 
this leaves the movie with an hour to go and only three characters , which really isn't enough to sustain it . 
the film's writer must have taken a cue from stephen king , as scenes from tracks of a killer seem lifted out of misery and gerald's game . 
larson and lebrock fight and torture each other ( the tables get turned a couple of times ) while brolin tramps around in the snow looking for help . 
some old guy's around too , just so the killer can add to his body count without killing the couple , who everyone knows will be alive at the end of the film . 
the old guy , however , miraculously survives his first death and appears later to be killed again by the killer in a scene so ludicrous it's worthy of a chuckle or two . 
outside of that chuckle , unfortunately , tracks of a killer will just bore you as the obvious plot is drawn out ad infinitum and the actors , for some reason , become increasing obnoxious . 
if you're in a video store and thinking about renting this turkey , don't . 
make tracks to a far superior suspense film , like misery . 
"
"-1","there should be a requirement that a potential viewer be under a certain film iq in order to see "" mission to mars . "" 
there are probably quite a few people who are going to enjoy it , and most of them will probably be those who have seen very few films of its kind . 
but there are those who will not , and those will most likely be people who have already seen one or more of the following movies : "" 2001 : a space odyssey , "" "" armageddon , "" "" apollo 13 , "" "" the abyss , "" "" close encounters of the third kind , "" "" e . t . 
the extra-terrestrial , "" "" alien , "" and "" aliens . "" 
why ? 
because there is not one original idea in "" mission to mars . "" 
all of it is cribbed from other films ( and in most cases , better films ) . 
if this is the sort of thing you don't mind , you might like the film . 
of course , there are other reasons not to like "" mission to mars , "" the main one being a script written by people who seem to assume their audience is filled with people who haven't used their brains in some time , and who don't intend to start during the film's running time . 
 "" mission to mars "" manages to be both stupid and boring at the same time . 
the plot , cribbed greatly from "" 2001 , "" concerns a team sent to mars , the first manned trip ever made to the red planet . 
luke graham ( don cheadle ) leads the team , jointly formed of americans and russians . 
the team encounters a mysterious monolith that emits a strange pulse ( this being nothing like the pulse-emitting monolith in "" 2001 "" -- that one was on the * moon * ) , but when they try to study it , a giant sand tornado comes out of the top and swallows them ( all except luke , who survives long enough to send a garbled message back to the rotating space station , which looks strangely like the rotating space station in "" 2001 "" ) . 
a rescue mission is planned with husband & wife team woody blake ( tim robbins ) and terri fisher ( connie nielsen ) , obligatory pilot with a troubled past jim mcconnell ( gary sinise ) , and extra crew member phil ohlmyer ( jerry o'connell ) along for the ride . 
after some zero-gravity dancing , they run into problems when one of their engines is blown , forcing them to attempt a desperate landing aboard a supply vessel . 
now stranded on mars with minimal supplies , the team must decide whether or not it can risk entering the monolith or if they should return home . 
after all , that monolith just might contain information about how life originated on earth . 
 "" mission to mars "" is one of those films that makes a critic wonder where to start when talking about all the things that are wrong with it , so let's start with one of the things that does work : director brian de palma manages to create some eerie tension in a few scenes during the middle of the film . 
that's it . 
everything else fails . 
the failure isn't de palma's fault ; he's working from an atrocious script . 
only during the sequence aboard the ship ( looking an awful lot like the jupiter vessel in "" 2001 "" ) where the rescue team's air begins running out and they must frantically search for the hole and patch it up does "" mission to mars "" come to life . 
a scene where they attempt to save a comrade floating away into space also provides some tension , until you realize that the entire danger/more danger/attempted rescue sequence has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the film ; it's just a contrived way to generate thrilling scenes . 
take it out , and the plot isn't affected in any way . 
the sequence also suffers from a few plot holes ( as does the rest of the film ) : why is the ship's computer ( which sounds strangely like hal from , uh , "" 2001 "" ) able to detect a hole in the main chamber but not one in the engine ? 
why did tim robbins' character have to go outside the ship when the solution easily presented itself from inside ? 
shouldn't the astronauts be better trained to deal with a hull breach ? 
why are the characters such idiots ? 
because the script makes little attempt to properly develop them . 
all the "" conflict "" is clumsily delivered in excruciatingly obvious exposition in the opening scene ( which rips off orson welles and robert altman by utilizing a long opening tracking shot ) during which the characters repeatedly tell each other about things all of them should already know : "" jim , it's too bad you can't go on this mission because you were determined 'psychologically inadequate' because your wife died right before you were to go on the mission together "" -- does anyone really talk like this ? 
can't we find out these things in a less grating matter , like maybe in a flashback ? 
the whole film is like that . 
the filmmakers are not content to merely show us something and assume we know what's going on ; they must * tell * us exactly what we're looking at * every * time . 
sample dialogue from the film : ( shot of mars ) astronaut a : "" look , there's mars "" astronaut b : "" you sure that's mars ? "" 
astronaut a : "" yeah , that's mars all right . "" 
astronaut c : "" hey , are you guys looking at mars ? "" 
that exchange isn't actually in "" mission to mars , "" but i wouldn't be surprised if it were . 
for all their cribbing from kubrick , spielberg , james cameron , and even ron howard , the makers of this film haven't learned to do something all those directors did very well : show and don't tell . 
de palma used to know how , but seems to have forgotten . 
this is mentally-challenged filmmaking ; they assume the audience won't get what's going on , so they explain everything five times over . 
fourth-graders may appreciate this , but more learned viewers will have their intelligence insulted . 
the principal actors sleepwalk their way through "" mission to mars , "" never managing to do away with an apparent "" i'm just here to get a paycheck "" attitude . 
cheadle stumbles over his awkward lines . 
armin mueller-stahl manages to thoroughly embarrass himself in an unbilled cameo . 
robbins puts his game face on and phones in his standard "" decent guy "" performance . 
and sinise hams it up with "" wistful "" facial expressions while watching tapes of his dead wife ( played by kim delaney , who only has one scene during which she still manages to deliver some ridiculous dialogue in a heavy-handed monologue about the meaning of life ) , and especially during the stolen-from-no-less-than-three-movies ( a lollipop to whoever names them ) conclusion , which combines endless , obvious explanation and sub-par cgi effects with gagging sentimentality and is sure to alienate any viewers who had been enjoying the show up until then . 
and of course , these aliens from mars who facilitated the evolution of life on earth are entirely different from the aliens in "" 2001 "" who facilitated the evolution of life on earth ; those aliens were from an * unknown * world . 
it could be said that fans of brainless action films might enjoy "" mission to mars , "" but such a comment ignores the fact that the film is also incredibly slow-going . 
leisurely pacing might have helped a film with a little more substance to it , but all of the substance of "" mission to mars "" has been stolen from other films , and those other films dealt with their ideas in a much more thoughtful fashion and generally contained more engaging characters . 
supposedly we're intended to choke up when one character decides not to return home at the end of this one ( totally different from the one-character-decides-not-to-return ending of "" armageddon "" ) , but i suspect most people will either be laughing or groaning . 
me , i alternated between the two . 
there is only one good thing about the way "" mission to mars "" finally ends : the fact that the movie is over . 
"
"-1","underwater science fiction stays submerged 
sphere a film review by michael redman copyright 1998 by michael redman 
one of the most unpleasant experiences that can occur in a movie theater is when a cast of fine actors end up in a film that wastes their talents . 
you keep thinking what they might have accomplished with the time they squandered . 
psychologist norman goodman ( dustin hoffman ) is called to the middle of the pacific ocean to work with the survivors of a plane crash . 
when he arrives at the site , he discovers that there is no plane , but rather an enormous spacecraft that has been sitting 1 , 000 feet below the surface for almost 300 years . 
having written a paper for the bush administration on how to handle first contact , he is chosen to head up the team of scientists investigating the ship . 
his group as outlined in his report , consists of beth halperin ( sharon stone ) , a biochemist ; harry adams ( samuel l . jackson ) , a mathematician ; and ted fielding ( liev schreiber ) , an astrophysicist . 
unfortunately it turns out that the writing was a blow-off project for goodman who did it for the money and named his then-colleagues to the team . 
 "" after all , "" he explains , "" who reads government documents ? "" 
lead by harold barnes ( peter coyote ) , a top secret federal operative , the group descends to a mobile undersea headquarters set up next to the alien vessel . 
once there they stroll over , knock on the door and explore the still-operational ufo . 
discovering the surprising origin of the ship and the crew finds an astonishing gigantic golden liquid metal sphere . 
when adams enters the sphere , the weirdness unfolds . 
a storm rolls in on the surface and the team is forced to remain below just as an unseen presence begins to communicate through their computer . 
 "" my name is jerry . 
i am happy "" flashes across the screen . 
this is unsettling for the psychologist . 
 "" what happens if jerry gets mad ? "" he asks . 
barnes is more pragmatic : he needs a last name because he can't put in his report that they made contact with an alien named jerry . 
then the situation turns bad . 
deadly beasts appear from nowhere . 
a gang of jellyfish kills one of the navy personnel . 
lethal sea snakes attack goodman . 
a giant squid batters the habitat just as adams is reading "" 20 , 000 leagues under the sea "" . 
the suspicious scientists turn against each other . 
this has all the makings of a first-rate thinking man's science fiction film . 
however even the finest ingredients don't go very far in the hands of a chief who doesn't seem to care about his product . 
director barry levinson has churned out a mish-mosh that doesn't engage the audience beyond a few skillful suspense scenes . 
the first of the film zooms by as the situation and players are introduced without any characterization or justification . 
it's much like speed-reading a novel and realizing that you missed the nuances . 
it doesn't get any better when the action scenes begin . 
while the actors do an adequate job with their limited roles , the people are still flat . 
oddly they hardly have reactions when deaths occur around them . 
after adams experiences the interior of the sphere , no one bothers to ask him what happened . 
their history together is an intriguing plot device but is barely exploited . 
even goodman and halperin's ill-conceived affair when she was his student is just mentioned in passing . 
her psychotic tendencies are talked about but never convincing . 
there's a truism that items shown early in a movie must be used before the ending , but here they are far too obvious . 
when an emergency mini-sub is explained , you know what's going to happen . 
the movie affectations are nothing more than distracting . 
chapter headings that divide the movie have no function . 
the shaky camera work muddies already perplexing chaos . 
much of what goes on is confusing and difficult to follow . 
although some of the disorientation eventually is understandable , a great deal of it isn't . 
even a science fiction film must be internally consistent . 
there's too much here that doesn't make sense . 
are the manifestations real ? 
the jellyfish kill queen latifa ( in a throw-away role ) and the squid nearly destroys the outpost , but the bites of the fatal snakes have no effect . 
a scene in the sub suggests that it's illusion , but earlier episodes indicate that it's not . 
not everything has to be explained to death , but there are major questions that the film never answers . 
where the ship came from is clarified , but how it ended up on the ocean floor in 1709 is merely alluded to . 
even the enigmatic sphere is still mysterious when the credits roll . 
the climax is followed by 15 minutes of epilogue that does little but weaken the already labored tale . 
after pre-release audience testing , the actors were called back to re-shoot the ending . 
it's difficult to imagine how the original could have been worse . 
following the recent tradition of lengthy films , this weighs in at over two very long hours . 
the weak scenes could have been cut , but then there wouldn't have been much left . 
the movie was supposedly held up by effects work , but there's nothing special on the screen . 
we never even see the monstrous squid or the menacing storm . 
stealing from "" alien "" , "" the abyss "" and the disastrous "" event horizon "" , this film has learned nothing from them . 
remarkably levinson and hoffman's other currently showing film is "" wag the dog "" , a smart and entertaining piece of work . 
this one could have been titled the same sans one word . 
"
"-1","renowned hong kong action director tsui hark first teamed with jean-claude van damme on the action star's 1997 pairing with dennis rodman , _double_team_ , and managed to make what initially appeared to be a disaster into a slick , stylish , and somewhat diverting action timekiller . 
tsui continues to energetically pile on the visual razzle dazzle in his latest collaboration with the muscles from brussels , _knock_off_ , but this time around , style neither save a script that is at best ridiculous , and at worst incomprehensible ; nor hide a host of truly lousy performances . 
writer steven e . desouza's fairly straightforward plotline isn't as outre as _double_team_'s strange yarn involving a secret think tank/prison , but it makes about as much sense , which is little . 
van damme plays marcus ray , a hong kong-based sales rep for a jeans company ( ! ) who stumbles upon a russian terrorist scheme to implant powerful microchip-sized bombs in hk product exports to the u . s . --dolls , electronic equipment , and , yes , jeans . 
it's all part of some type of ransom scheme , but all i remember is--and i kid you not--graphics on a cia computer screen showing a map of the world , bombs detonating , and an hat-wearing figure on the other side of the world bursting out into laughter . . . 
 . . . which is what the crowd at the showing i attended spontaneously did throughout _knock_off_ . 
while all of van damme's films have its share of unintentional laughs , mostly due to the stiff acting "" skills "" of the physically agile van damme , _knock_off_ delivers more than usual ( though not as many as van damme's embarrassing directorial effort , 1996's _the_quest_ ) . 
a lot of the laughs are earned by some particularly painful lines by desouza : "" i smoked that badass like a roman candle ! "" 
and "" entrepreneurship , babycakes ! "" 
standing out among my favorites . 
but it is indeed the pathetic performances that provide the bulk of _knock_off_'s laughs . 
van damme is true to laughable form , perhaps even worse than usual . 
early scenes actually _require_ him to make funny with co-star rob schneider ( improbably cast as a deep cover cia agent posing as marcus's business partner ) , and the sight and sound of the still-heavily-accented van damme haplessly trying to drop punchlines is hilarious in the wrong way . 
even typically good actors are not immune to the bad acting bug . 
paul sorvino is unconvincing and terribly overwrought as schneider's cia superior ; and lela rochon , playing an investigator for the jeans company , spends the entire movie in perpetual snarl mode . 
in rochon's defense , though , her role requires her to do little more than display her toned legs , exquisite bone structure , and perky bosoms , the latter coming in handy for one key scene where she must fish for microbombs stuck in her ample cleavage . 
tsui picks up where he left off visually in _double_team_ , juicing up the proceedings with inventive camera work . 
here , though , tsui's visual razzle dazzle borders on over kill , coming off as desperate attempts to shield the inanity of the entire enterprise . 
for each nifty trick tsui pulls off , such as a recurring visual theme that has the camera literally going through the circuitry of electronic devices , there are others that are completely superfluous . 
this is especially disconcerting when the trick in question could be clever when used in the right context . 
for instance , one scene early on has marcus putting his hand in a box . 
as he puts his hand in , the same action is shown from an overhead camera angle in a rectangle at the corner of the screen . 
it's undoubtedly an interesting visual , but it would have been nice if its use actually amounted to something . 
the test of a van damme movie boils down to the action sequences , but surprisingly , those in _knock_off_ leave much to be desired . 
tsui does what he can to make something of them , employing freeze frames , blurred motion , and unconventional camera angles , but there is nothing fundamentally special about the fairly generic chase and fight sequences written by desouza . 
there isn't anything as preposterously amusing as the climactic tiger/land mine fight in _double_team_ , let alone anything remotely close to tsui's legendary hong kong works ( but that's a given going in ) . 
if tsui has any hope of approaching his countryman john woo's stateside success , he would do best to break free from van damme . . . 
before it's too late . 
if he continues his involvement with b-grade movies such as _knock_off_ , the respect he has from hk action fans will continue to diminish . . . 
that is , if it hasn't already disappeared entirely after this fiasco . 
"
"-1","upon first viewing of this movie , the phrases "" been there "" and "" done that "" come quickly to mind . 
spy hard manages to steal almost every joke from the zucker brothers films , the most popular of which are airplane and the naked gun series . 
stealing stuff can be profitable in this industry , but only when you steal the right stuff . 
what little plot there is involves dick steele , aka . 
agent wd-40 ( leslie nielsen ) trying to save the world from an almost deranged madman played by andy griffith . 
along the way to it goal ( goal ? ) , the film manages to spoof mainly the james bond type films , but also manages to hit on films such as home alone and sister act . 
the trick about spoofing is that you have to actually be funny , or at the least , satirical . 
spy hard achieves neither , as it borrows all of the wrong elements from the superior zucker brothers films . 
the "" dick , the world is in danger . 
what is it ? 
well , it's a big roundish ball floating in space around the sun . . 
 ( i'm paraphrasing ) "" type of exchange is used at least four times in the opening ten minutes of the film , each time getting progressively less funny . 
what they should have stolen were the background sight gags which were so effective in the zucker brother's films while writing their own dialogue . 
director rick friedberg focuses more on the mug shots of his actors ( especially nielsen , who can do this quite well ) than on the delivery and context of their lines , much of the time cutting the punchline short . 
the whole film seems to be in a race with itself to be over , as is evident in the final sequence , where there is no comedic denouement after the climax . 
as was usual in the zucker brothers films and in spy hard , the end credits tend to replace this by being out of context . 
one of the more amusing was , "" captain of the enterprise . . . . . . james 
t . kirk "" . 
overall , i thought this was a very weak effort . 
while all of the right films to spoof were chosen , they used none of the right spoofing methods . 
next time they should "" spy "" a little bit harder . 
 * * * * = excellent . 
one of a kind . 
must see . 
 * * * = entertaining . 
worth the price of admission . 
 * * = fair . 
nothing much special . 
 * = what were they thinking ? ? 
"
"-1","first impressions : critically , a close-to-awful film , but money-wise , it has been doing ( and will continue to do ) great . 
a sometimes-funny film that sags and lags and oftentimes gets boring . 
an orginal plot that grows old real fast . 
one of the only 90 minute films that i've gotten bored through . 
men in black has defied the odds . 
when i first saw that the flick was 89 minutes long , i thought maybe that this was a poor attempt at an independence day type film that just ran out of gas . 
however , i now realize that not only did men in black run out of gas , but the film in 90 minutes manages to show off a very original idea ( which summer audiences have embraced ) that becomes old about 25 minutes into the movie . 
tommy lee jones and will smith play two "" government "" agents who are responsible for keeping order in alien society . 
the ridiculous plot begins when an alien "" bug "" , played weirdly by vincent d'onofrio , who was so great in full metal jacket , lands on earth to retrieve a galaxy that's somewhere on "" orion's belt . "" 
anyway , the basic plot revolves around jones and smith to stop this bug from getting the galaxy , or a higher power will blow up the earth . 
the premise is ridulous , but that is not why i didn't like this film . 
i love original plots . 
this one had an original one . 
but director barry sonnenfeld did something to this film that ruined its plot : he made the film drag and also put in unncessary elements in it that are found in romance films . 
whenever i saw d'onofrio's bug stomp and eat people in the film , it got terribly boring after a while . 
while smith's wise-cracks did fill in the gaps , it wasn't enough . 
and also , i cannot believe the screenwriters elected to have a sub-plot where tommy lee jones missed his former lover because as an alien agent , they can't have contact with any humans really . 
and here i see jones , at a satellite computer , watching his lover plant the garden ? 
a sentimental moment in an alien movie ? 
nice try , but i don't think so . 
it doesn't work here . 
it just makes the movie even more ridiculous and even more boring : we don't only have aliens to worry about , but now we have jones's conscience . 
i came into the movie not wanting to see jones's conscience , but wanting to see a real action movie that had lots of aliens in it . 
maybe it's unfair that i partly judged this movie on what my expectations were . 
nevertheless , even though some parts are indeed funny , the plot in this movie grew old and boring -- quick . 
"
"-1","there are movies that pose a question in its first five minutes and spend the rest of the time trying to answer it . 
then there are movies that spend the whole time posing questions and try to answer it all in the last five minutes . 
writer-director john herzfeld's two days in the valley falls into the latter category . 
weaving together a grabbag of seemingly unrelated characters , herzfeld's tries very hard to keep the audience guessing with a altmanesque series of parallel stories . 
hitmen lee ( james spader ) and his partner dosmo ( danny aiello ) pop a guy in bed while leaving his drugged wife becky fox ( teri hatcher ) lying next to him showing the audience where on her behind she got nicely pricked . 
an understandeably shocked becky runs out of the house the next morning before hailing down a couple of vice cops , ( jeff daniels ) and wes ( eric stoltz ) . 
a murder is not vice territory , flirting with asian prostitues is , but wes would rather play inquisitive detective . 
meanwhile , washed-up director , teddy ( paul mazursky ) is about to end his life . 
but before he can do that , he must find a good home for his dog . 
enter nurse audrey ( marsha mason ) , who takes the dog and teddy for a ride . 
stuffy art dealer , allan hopper ( greg cruttwell ) has kidney stones . 
while struggling about his fancy house , he switches between moaning in self-pity and dropping condescending hints about his loyal secretary's ( glenne headly ) plain appearance . 
don't be surprised if you find yourself asking more than once just what the hell is going on . 
you might like that feeling of cluelessness . 
herzfeld does answer all the questions in the course of time and pieces it all rather neatly in the last five minutes . 
the jigsaw puzzle assembled isn't stunning by any means though . 
the characters lack the stature or moral complexity of altman's real-life heroes in short cuts , even though they are interesting and funny . 
funny , that is if you aren't comparing them to the likes of tarantino's pulp chcaracters . 
the tie-up is tidy but nowhere near the squeaky clean resolution of ( director's name ? 
guy who also did last seduction ) red rock west . 
two days isn't a bad movie but there isn't much else to it than the screenplay novelty of the linkage of seemingly unrelated characters . 
it'll keep you guessing alright but you won't remember the answers five minutes after the credits . 
the flying inkpot rating system : * wait for the tv2 broadcast . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"-1","warning : may contain slight mild spoilers . 
rated : r for intense violence/gore , some strong sexuality and language . 
starring : arnold schwarzeneggar , robin tunney , rod stieger , gabriel byrne . 
running time : 132 minutes 
we go into a movie theater , boom ! 
the lights go down , our hearts race , we go through ten minutes of preview and finally the movie we've been waiting to see for a long time comes on . 
we sit there , watch in disbelief that this movie is as bad as it is . 
why shouldn't i have know what i was getting myself into . 
again like this past summers hit "" stigmata "" , "" end of days "" may be worse . 
it's not like this is any kind of original idea , it just throws in some "" rosemary's baby "" , along with "" the devil's advocate "" a little "" exorcist "" and some "" stigmata "" here and there . 
whala you have "" end of days "" a movie that is extremely disappointing and by the previews made it look terrific . 
sadly but truly again like most recent films , all the good parts are in the trailers . 
the plot which is very confusing at times is also very ludicrous and the movie is destined to be a hit in the first weekend , and flop in the next . 
jericho cane ( arnold schwarzneggar in hit typical macho role ) is a cop who finds out that he is chosen to track down satan ( living in gabriel byrnes body ) and stop him from impregnating christine york ( robin tunney ) because if he does , and she gives birth all existence as we know it will cease to exist . 
he has to do this before it turns into the year 2000 , and strangely he's trying to fight him 5 minutes before 2000 comes . 
he seeks help from the catholic church and help from rod stieger ( in a terrific role ) and tries to save this girl leading to an ending that's satisfying , but turns into a typical action movie . 
that's pretty much it on plot . 
it does have the razzle and dazzle of a great action movie , and with the 100m dollar budget parts seem to show it , parts you have to wonder where all the money went . 
as for arnie ? 
good role , ok performance . 
i think since he is getting a little older he is held back a lot of his stunts . 
the thing that disappointed me was the fact that there was nothing to the film . 
in the trailers it looks like a good scary , action film and ends up being a boring , long and preposterous drama that leads into something else that leaves us with questions . 
gabriel byrnes ( who ironically played a priest in "" stigmata "" ) here plays satan and gives a good performance but again seems held back and not into his character . 
two years back al pacino gave a terrific performance in the fun "" the devil's advocate "" and here it seems like the idea of him is in the character also . 
robin tunney ( great performance as always ) plays satan's main person whom he wants to impregnate to carry his child . 
of course rod stieger gives another great performance which really isn't nothing new . 
the direction by peter hyams is at times a bit overblown , though not nearly as the visual style was in "" stigmata "" . 
here we are given great camera work , and some great scenes that are terrifically directed but sadly just don't work in this movie . 
the script written by andrew marlowe has a few witty lines , but again the movie is all style and no substance and by the ending finale climax i was ready to go home . 
only a few things work here and those are a few of the performances , the writing and visual style , but the storyline and the finished product don't work as well . 
the sad thing is that "" end of days "" had so many things going for it . 
the plot could have been more organized , the action scenes could have been more brainy and less mind-numbing . 
at times it seems like "" armageddon "" and started to get old and tiresome . 
hollywood is running out of ideas bad , and like i've always said before needs new ones . 
even with its 100m budget "" end of days "" is less than pleasing . 
in fact the 100m dollar budget is at least 30m over , and easily could have had a 70m budget . 
maybe i sound crazy , but i am really looking forward to the new exorcist film , and hope that they make it as good as the original . 
we need to get new ideas and stop recycling old ones just to make money at the box-office . 
we need to get more films like "" the blair witch project "" that could scare people to death , while people thinking well what exactly is scaring them and how do i know that it is in fact the blair witch . 
overblown effects , stupid and thin plot-line , good performances , disappointing . . . . umm 
yup those pretty much describe "" end of days "" . 
"
"-1"," "" my name is jack carter , and you don't want to know me "" says our brooding anti-hero ( sylvester stallone ) . 
take his advice ! 
to know this guy is as rewarding as being thrown over a terrace . 
and to watch this film is almost as painful . 
 "" get carter "" is a gloomy looking , unimaginative film that offers no joy . 
jack carter is as tough as tough guys come . 
he works out of vegas as a self-described 'financial adjuster' . 
explaining his duties , he says , "" people make promises and break them . 
i help them remember . "" 
he has a chiseled body full of tattoos . 
he has the weathered look indicative of a man who has seen his share of hard times . 
he speaks in a hushed but menacing tone of voice . 
in other words , this is sylvester stallone acting like . . . sylvester 
stallone . 
and like most of his previous roles , his character is a shallow , one-dimensional thug whose modus operandi is to talk tough , hassle a few hapless people , find out what he needs to know , and then dispense his own kind of justice . 
with the charisma of a pit bull , being tough is all that jack carter knows . 
yet , even tough guys know when to put family first . 
as the story begins , we learn that jack's little brother has died in a car accident . 
the police attribute it to heavy drinking . 
however , jack is suspicious , believing that he was 'taken out' . 
he takes a break from his vegas duties and tries to see if he can find the truth . 
as he pokes around , he runs into several lowlife characters . 
they include a shady business partner , a prostitute , a dweebish millionaire molded after bill gates , and an oily owner of a porn website . 
any one of them may know something about his brother's death . 
all of them have the means of carrying out the deed . 
but don't expect an exercise in sleuthing where well-placed clues lead carter to the truth . 
he's all brawn and no brains , so there are no epiphanies during his investigation . 
instead , he uses intimidation to muscle his way forward , cycling through this circle of suspects . 
flustered with his lack of progress , he cycles through them again and again . 
this all gets tiring fairly quickly . 
by the time the film launches into its final act , we're numb from its pedestrian pace . 
oddly , as a tough-guy thriller , it starves us for action . 
admittedly , there is one nifty chase sequence , but this is related to a tangential and needless plot ( carter's vegas ties send thugs to retrieve him ) . 
the story also fails to generate any kind of emotion . 
stallone has the personality of a slab of stone . 
and the look and feel of the film is perpetually downcast . 
the weather is constantly overcast or rainy . 
meanwhile , most shots take place at night , in dimly lit rooms , or in dark alleys . 
it's just impossible to get stirred about that kind of atmosphere . 
as a result , "" get carter "" amounts to nothing more than a flat thriller , bereft of clever moments and devoid of any excitement . 
you're better off leaving this guy alone . 
"
"-1","you would think that this film's dismal failure would be due to american filmmakers getting hold of a brilliant british comedy and "" americanizing "" it . 
you'd be wrong , since full blame can be placed on the very folks who wrote and created the series : rowan atkinson , robin driscoll , and richard curtis . 
should you ever happen to meet those chaps , do me a favor . 
grab them by the hair and yell really loudly in their ear , "" what were you thinking ? ! 
have you ever heard the phrase 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' ? ! "" 
then walk away . 
the film concerns mr . bean ( atkinson ) and his visit to america while escorting the painting of "" whistler's mother "" to an american buyer ( played by burt reynolds , in the type of bit part that his success in "" boogie nights "" should hopefully do away with ) . 
now how or why mr . bean is sent on this trip makes no sense , and i can't even describe how the film explains it . 
the point is that mr . bean comes to america and causes wacky trouble . 
problems problems problems , where to begin ? 
first , the score music from the tv show has been completely replaced by score that is either at times one note away from the score from "" beetlejuice "" or one note away from the score from "" rob roy "" . 
then , the song choices are totally uninspired . 
 "" good vibrations "" ? 
 "" i love l . a . "" ? 
wow , don't put any thought into that guys . 
also , bean makes way too much noise in the film . 
the character doesn't speak much , but in the series you really only heard the laughter of the audience , and maybe the occasional murmur from mr . bean . 
each episode was like a chaplin silent movie . 
in the film , bean is constantly moaning , grunting , whining , etc . it's annoying , and just plain wrong for the character . 
the main problem though is that it's just not funny . 
with each episode of the series there would be dozens of really great laughs crammed into less than 30 minutes . 
multiply that running time by three however , and the laughs steadily decrease . 
they even have the gaul to repeat jokes from the series . 
sad , and creatively lazy . 
as a series , "" mr . bean "" only ran for about 13 episodes or so . 
why on earth did atkinson and the gang decide it was time to completely rework everything ? 
13 half-hour episodes certainly hadn't exhausted all possible situations . 
all i can say positively for the film at this point is that it's almost appropriate for all ages , if it wasn't for a couple of scenes where it appears as though mr . bean is having sex with things . 
and even that isn't a very positive statement . 
please guys , go back to england and go back to television so you'll make me laugh again . 
[pg-13] 
"
"-1","robin williams has the rarest of gifts : the ability to rise above the most inept material and suffuse it with his irreverent style . 
overwhelmingly , his worst films are pleasantly diverting at worst and enjoyable at best ( with the notable exception of flubber ) . 
so when i , the one person who has refused to abandon him despite patch adams , tell you that not even williams can save his latest project , you know it's in trouble . 
jakob the liar is a confused , muddled little movie ; a generically "" uplifting "" film with a fundamental contradiction : the message it delivers is depressing as opposed to inspiring and the movie doesn't realize it . 
williams plays jakob haim , a jew imprisoned in a polish ghetto during world war ii . 
one night he wanders outside after curfew and is promptly sent to the office of a high-ranking german officer for his punishment . 
jakob gets off easy and he gets to hear approximately 30 seconds of a radio broadcast . 
the announcement ( in english , but punctuated by a triumphant "" heil hitler ! "" ) is that russian troops are only miles away from jakob's ghetto . 
liberation ! he thinks . 
the next day , jakob tells the news to his closest friend , a volatile prize fighter named misha ( liev schreiber ) , who despite being sworn to secrecy passes the message along . 
soon , it is a common assumption in the ghetto that jakob has a radio hidden in his home -- a crime punishable by death . 
this is absurdly false , but the more jakob tells the people of the ghetto this , the more convinced they become that he is abreast of the latest developments in the war that is to decide their fate . 
the danger , of course , is that the germans allegedly have informants throughout the ghetto , and rumors about the radio can get out and put jakob in great danger . 
in a curiously irrelevant subplot , jakob finds a 11-year old girl who has separated from her parents and decides to hide her in his small home . 
apparently he is afraid that she will be discovered , and goes to great length to make sure of that -- just why the idea frightens him is never made clear . 
he and the girl build an uninvolving , generic relationship that never goes anywhere and is as irrelevant at the end as it was in the beginning . 
the moral of the story is that hope is the best medicine . 
but jakob the liar forgets that the hope that jakob brings to his ghetto is false . 
such hope inevitably leads to expectations of its realization and when those expectations aren't met , the results are far worse than if there was no hope . 
that's the film's biggest detriment : it is based on a false assumption and thus comes off as painfully false . 
it's never moving because it doesn't give us anything to be moved by . 
jakob the liar fails to tug any heartstrings which destroys its purpose for existing . 
robin williams doesn't inject the film with life , as a matter of fact , he seems a little out of it , as if crippled by his fake accent . 
he is stragely unenthusiastic ; his character is one who spreads hope but his performance is lifeless , hopeless . 
not since good will hunting has he abandoned his signature style to this extent ; this isn't the robin williams we know and love . 
in good will hunting he became a serious actor and won an oscar for it . 
here , he is more of a wannabe serious actor ; an impostor . 
jakob the liar will be compared with last year's life is beautiful because it is being marketed as a "" holocaust comedy "" . 
it's not a comedy . 
it tries , sometimes , but it rarely works . 
is it a melodrama ? 
a war movie ? 
a character study ? 
no , no , and no . 
jakob the liar is the kind of movie that can't be placed into a category ; not because it covers so many different genres but because it fails at just about every one it attempts . 
"
"-1","say , tell me if you've seen this before : a crisis on-board a commercial airliner causes a stewardess to have to fly and land the plane herself . 
airport '97 anyone ? 
ray liotta is a psychotic serial killer being transported from new york to california on christmas eve . 
amazingly , on what would seemingly be a busy day of travel on one of the most flown routes , only about six other passengers are on the flight . 
anyway , they take off , liotta escapes and kills all the police and the pilots , and stewardess lauren holly locks herself in the cockpit to fly the plane . 
the story is beyond routine , the script is embarrassing ( at one point , this jumbo jet is flying completely upside down ) , the characters are worthless , and the performances are annoying . 
surprisingly , co-writer steven e . de souza actually wrote the first two "" die hard "" movies ! 
 "" turbulence "" takes place at christmas time , yet the film was released a few days after the holidays . 
brilliant marketing , as no one cares about anything having to do with christmas after december 26th . 
the studio knew they had a bomb , and purposely dumped it out when the fewest number of people would see it . 
[r] 
"
"-1","it should have been a classic . 
a great cast of respected supporting actors . 
an interesting premise of loser comic book characters . 
however , "" mystery men "" proved to be one of the great disappointments of 1999 . 
the jokes were bland and hackneyed from talents who have previously made audiences laugh with their unique rituals . 
the number of cliches and shallow characters made the film difficult to sit through seriously hurting its attempt of having a fast paced premise . 
the script tried to deliver a series of small jokes throughout the film but without a big laugh-out-loud joke and mediocre small jokes , it failed miserably at being entertaining at all . 
the jokes were not funny for a number of reasons . 
they had been used a number of times before in previous films , the best ones , which were mediocre to begin with , were ruined in the trailer , and the expectation of laughing at clever , unique gags from clever unique comedians when there were none to laugh at greatly damaged the film . 
 "" mystery men "" might have worked if it was an ensemble cast of newcomers trying to break into the business . 
but with veterans doing this kind of junk , it really questioned whether their other work was as funny as originally thought . 
thankfully most actors in this movie will appear in five other movies before the new year arrives to help viewers forget this little movie . 
the film follows a band of wannabe superheroes living in a wannabe gotham city who are ridiculed by their fellow citizens and villains because of their clumsiness and failure to save they day and capture the bad guy . 
the fact is these pathetic losers are not needed because their city already has a successful superhero , captain amazing , who has recently captured every evil-doer in the city . 
captain amazing ( played terribly by an uninspired greg kinnear ) , because of his success in the past , is worried that he will lose popularity . 
after freeing one of the most notorious bad guys in the city ( geoffrey rush , overacting just a bit too much ) to keep himself busy , things get out of hand when captain amazing is captured . 
it is up to the wannabe superheroes to save the day . 
by the time this section of the plot is finished , the interest for what happens ( if you haven't already figured it out ) is very low . 
there are very few scenes which catch the viewers complete attention . 
the first scene in the film , which shows the wannabes trying to save the day , feels like it was seriously edited down . 
right when it was beginning to become slightly funny seeing these actors get humiliated at an old folk's home by some masked goons , captain amazing comes in and saves the day ? or ruins the movie . 
instead of editing this scene , more editing should have been done in areas such as the unnecessary romance between mr . furious ( ben stiller ) and monica , a waitress ( claire forlani ) or the vast majority of the film , which is the heroes talking at a coffee table about how their day was . 
a simple rule : more silly action is needed in order to make a silly action movie work . 
another major problem with "" mystery men "" is that every actor in it seemed very uncomfortable and consequently gave terrible performances . 
the film depended on its cast to work fluently together , like a bunch of old friends working together in an amiable reunion . 
however , most characters seemed like they did not even want to be in this film or at least the script made it seem this way . 
to pull one of the actors in this film randomly out of a hat , paul reubens , who disappeared from acting to everyone's joy , returns here leaving very little to be impressed about . 
as a wannabe who uses flatulence for a weapon , all of his jokes must therefore be fart jokes . 
fart jokes that have all been heard before and will inevitably be heard again in future films thanks to the success of "" american pie "" and "" there's something about mary . "" 
 "" mystery men "" drags on towards the end to a point where anything else in the world is more entertaining . 
anyone with a brain knows each one of the heroes is going to be successful at their talent in the end and each one is going to contribute in a helpful way . 
so why continue to watch ? 
this film is far from a worthy guilty pleasure . 
 "" mystery men "" indeed does this and every time a character succeeds another one congratulates him and says "" i knew you could do it ! "" 
 "" mystery men "" fails in every category it attempts to pass . 
what makes this film so bad is that it had the potential to be wonderful and unforgettable . 
terrible acting , terrible script , and a terrible waste of time changes opinions about all of these actors . 
 "" i'm unpredictable ! "" 
an overexcited ben stiller shouts out . 
no ben , you're the complete opposite . 
"
"-1","in my review of "" the spy who shagged me , "" i postulated an unbreakable law of film physics : every time a sequel is as good as or better than the previous film in the series , it is followed by a third movie that is a bore . 
the cause is probably complacency ; a studio sighs with relief when part 2 lives up to expectations and figures part 3 is a sure thing . 
 "" scream 3 "" provides the latest proof of this rule . 
in los angeles production has begun on "" stab 3 : return to woodsboro , "" the most recent installment in the series of movies inspired by the murders surrounding sidney prescott ( neve campbell ) . 
however , life soon starts imitating art , and "" stab "" cast members turn up stabbed . 
smelling yet another book deal , gale weathers ( courteney cox arquette ) comes to the set to investigate and finds her ex-boyfriend dewey riley ( david arquette ) acting as a technical consultant and getting chummy with jennifer ( parker posey ) , the actress playing gale in "" stab 3 . "" elsewhere , our heroine sidney is living in hiding under an assumed name . 
 . 
 . 
until she gets a phone call from a familiar evil voice . 
the late randy meeks ( jamie kennedy ) makes a surprise guest appearance via video to explain the rules of a trilogy . 
he notes the third chapter in a trilogy has an overabundance of exposition and a huge backstory to contend with . 
indeed , "" scream 3 "" tries to link its murders back to the one that started it all , the murder of sidney's mother maureen before the beginning of the original "" scream . "" 
at the scene of each murder in "" scream 3 , "" the killer leaves a photo of sidney's mother maureen as a teenager in hollywood and even includes a note claiming to be her real killer . 
to find out who the killer is , our intrepid investigators have to uncover what happened during maureen's missing years when she was a starlet appearing in low-budget horror films . 
 ( even with that little information , you can probably already guess what the killer's relationship to sidney is ) . 
unlike its predecessors , "" scream 3 "" doesn't have the guts to even suggest that the central characters might be the killer . 
the characters we do suspect are all undeveloped , so that by the end we don't even care who the killer is . 
the jaded detective ( patrick dempsey ) ? 
the kinky producer ( lance henriksen ) ? 
the driven young director ( scott foley ) ? 
the ingenue ( emily mortimer ) ? 
the character who turns out to be the killer seems to be selected at random . 
wes craven supposedly filmed three different endings to keep the real one a secret , so it's quite possible the one in the final cut was randomly chosen . 
the series' trademark references to other horror films have become trite and obvious . 
possibly it's the absence of screenwriter kevin williamson , who penned the first two , or maybe it's that the hip ironic stance eventually consumes itself and a series that parodies film cliches eventually becomes a cliche . 
i groaned as an attack on sidney from the first "" scream "" was repeated moment-for-moment in the hollywood set of her home . 
at some point , referencing becomes just a means to cover up a poverty of new ideas . 
 "" scream 3 "" also continues the tradition of having an eclectic set of cameos and familiar faces in small roles . 
look for jenny mccarthy , carrie fisher , patrick warburton ( puddy from "" seinfeld "" ) , roger corman , and jason mewes and kevin smith ( as jay and silent bob ) to walk through at some point . 
all these bit players put forth more effort than the series' returning stars , who are probably saving their energy for the long post- "" scream "" job search . 
another prediction i made in a previous review has come to pass : more movies are copying "" the blair witch project "" 's web strategy . 
 "" scream 3 "" has three official websites that ( wink , wink ) pretend that the events of the movie are real and provide additional backstory information not covered in the movie . 
the sunrise studios site ( scream3 . com ) has trailers for other sunrise releases as well as the "" latest 'stab 3' news . "" 
there's also a gail weathers official site ( galeweathers . com ) and a sunrise sucks site that has more "" stab "" scandals the studio wants to cover up ( sunrisesucks . com ) . 
craven and company promise that this is the last installment in the "" scream "" series . 
while i hope that's true , i don't hold out much hope-horror movie series are even harder to kill than their monsters . 
there's a "" halloween h2k "" in the works , even though michael myers was beheaded in "" h20 , "" and a "" freddy vs . jason "" has been talked about for awhile , despite the fact that both characters were "" killed off . "" 
there's bound to be a "" scream 4 "" someday , even if it starts over with a new set of movie-star wannabes . 
bottom line : they should have called this one "" yawn . "" 
"
"-1","i want to be involved in show business one day . 
and i refuse to do any sequels to any movie i may make because i believe they only get worse . 
this movie proves it for me . 
i was a little worried about the last batman film , as i thought joel schumaccer , taking over from tim burton , would screw it up . 
i also assumed val kilmer would screw up as bruce wayne . 
they didn't . 
kilmer did a good job , and the cast was left to carry the movie , which they did ( even jim carrey as the riddler and i can't stand jim carrey ) , because schumaccer messed up the direction with his glitzy gotham and his awkward camera angles . 
this film is different . 
the cast is still impressive , but here , not only does schumaccer mess up with the direction ( he's one of those directors who's good with actors , terrible with camera angles ) , but writer akiva goldsmith doesn't really give an impressive cast anything to do . 
the cast is impressive : clooney is a surprisingly good wayne/batman , o'donnell is a crafty robin as usual , they could've casted somebody better as batgirl ( my friend likes neve campbell ) , but silverstone is not bad , and thurman is a good poison ivy . 
the major problem is schwarzenegger , who is a terrible freeze . 
his accent is so heavy , you can't understand what he says , and the trouble with action stars like him is they cannot act , and they know it , but they figure that if they flex their muscles , say a limited amount of stuff , and kill a bunch of guys , then they figure nobody'll notice . 
that's the trouble with me , * i * notice . 
schwarzenegger does not deserve billing over clooney , or as much money as he got for this , but hollywood thinks he does . 
patrick stewart was the person i'd heard that was considered to play freeze , and he would've been so much better . 
or sean connery , but not arnold "" i'm not an actor , but i play one in real life "" schwarzenegger . 
i realize that you must be a star to play a major role in a batman film , but it would've been nice if they'd casted a star that had talent for the role . 
akiva goldsmith's screenplay avoids some stuff that happens in a normal batman film . 
in a regular batman film , they'd concentrate on the relationship with the girlfriend a little more , but elle macpherson's julie madison is so limited here that we never get a real sense of who she is . 
there is talk of a fifth batman movie . 
my interest to see it is low , but i hope it's better than this . 
if you don't want to waste your time , rent any of the other batman movies from blockbuster . 
any other . 
"
"-1","for a movie with such deep religious and spiritual undertones , it is surprising to find the messenger : the story of joan of arc such an ungodly mess . 
in the early to mid 1400's , there was little in the way of spiritual light to be found shining from the heart of a man or woman . 
the church was a dismally dark and oppressive place . 
france was involved in "" the hundred years war "" against england . 
there was no strong political leadership in the country . 
morale was low , there being little hope for the future . 
it was within this setting that a young french girl began hearing "" voices "" and seeing "" visions . "" 
convinced that these were messages from god , she brazenly demanded to see the dauphin in order to deliver the message directly to him . 
the message : if he would give her an army to command , she would deliver to him the crown . 
he does . . . 
and she does . 
then , once seated on the throne , he abandons her to her english captors . 
director luc besson ( the fifth element ) may have co-wrote the script but he never appeared to have a proper handle on the material . 
the inconsistencies of the cast , the confusing blur of the violent battle scenes , the inappropriate musical score , and the lack of a vibrant life force at the center of the film adds up to a largely disappointing end product which is oftentimes unintentionally laughable . 
his biggest miscue was to cast his wife , milla jovovich ( the fifth element ) in the title role . 
ms . jovovich , looks spectacular as joan , clad in battle armor , astride a similarly protected horse . 
if looks were enough to fully convey a character , she would have been brilliant . 
since it isn't , she tried ( and failed ) to act the part . 
her joan is unbalanced , "" inspiring "" the troops merely by screaming stridently and waving her banner or sword over her head like a woman possessed . 
john malkovich ( being john malkovich ) fares a bit better as the dauphin , who joan would see on the throne as charles vii . 
an easily manipulated man , his weakness of character foreshadows the betrayal of joan which would lead to her death . 
faye dunaway ( the thomas crown affair ) gives a strong performance in minimal screen time as the dauphin's mother-in-law and chief advisor . 
the army under joan's command are comprised of comical figures , more stooges than soldiers . 
the one exception would be tcheky karyo ( la femme nikita ) as dunois , the man who was leading the attack prior to joan's arrival . 
trying to plan a systematic campaign , he sees his leadership authority negated by joan's insistence on following her "" visions . "" 
dustin hoffman ( sphere ) has a small inhuman role as joan's conscience which begins speaking to her while awaiting trial . 
dressed like cloaked monk , he leads her to doubt herself and her "" revelations . "" 
as well she should . 
scriptures do speak of revelation . 
god , via his gift of holy spirit , is able to communicate to men . 
three of the nine manifestations of holy spirit listed in 1 corinthians 12 deal with receiving revelation . 
they are : word of knowledge , word of wisdom , and discerning of spirits . 
even the scriptures themselves are a result of god giving revelation to his "" holy men . . . 
who spake as they were moved by holy spirit ( i . e . 
by revelation . ) "" 
but the scriptures also caution us : 
 "" beloved , believe not every spirit , but try the spirits whether they are of god : because many false prophets are gone out into the world . "" 
1 john 4 : 1 [kjv] 
joan's end , ( being burned at the stake at the age of 19 ) , the frenzy ( mob rule ) and blood lust her inspiration wrought , and the death , pain , or suffering which followed her campaign all point to a devilish influence rather than a godly one . 
while her conviction and intense believing remains an admirable quality , she was , as others have been before and since , misled by the spiritual master of deception . 
as a messenger , she was quite effective . 
she was just confused as to whose message she was carrying . 
"
"-1","possibly the years the most anticipated film and finally it arrives here in the uk . 
it smashed u . s box office office records in it's opening weekend and will no doubt do the same here . 
but is it any good ? 
in a word , no . 
i'll elaborate further . 
the story is as follows . 
apparently there were two islands with dinosaurs on . 
one where the dinos lived untouched by mankind and the other a tourist attraction which failed before it even opened . 
 ( see jurrasic park . ) 
imgen , the company that funded jurrasic park , want to reccover their losses by taking more dinos off the other island and move them to a new attraction in san diago . 
realizing what a bad idea this is , proffessor john hammond ( richard attenborough ) decides to send a team to document the dinosaurs , so as to rally public support to preserve the island . 
enter familiar mumbling man jeff goldblum who only agrees to go when told his girlfriend is already there . 
so , basically , what you have is this . 
two teams , one sent to catch and move some dinosaurs to the mainland and the other , trying to document them , being forced to work together , fighting for survival against the dinosaurs' firm intentions on eating them . 
a fairly good idea , however it's let down by one slight problem . 
it's crap . 
over two hours of chase scenes gets way too boring , way too quiclky . 
add to this a terrible script and some feeble attempts at some occasional characterisation and you end up very disinterested . 
it becomes background noise while your mind starts concentrating on things like , 'what's for tea ? ' and 'should you cut the lawn later ? ' 
 ( yes , you should ) . 
it's a shame then really , that spielberg has lowered himself into making what essentially is a blatant cash in , which adds practically nothing to the far superior jurrasic park . 
with only a few creative and genuinely tense scenes and fabulous c . g . i 
dinosaurs ( the t . rex's have to be seen to be believed ) , there is nothing else to recommend the lost world . 
a very dissapointing sequel , indeed . 
"
"-1"," "" holy man "" boasts a sweet , gentle , comic performance from an unusually subdued eddie murphy and a few moderately funny skits . 
unfortunately , to get to the good stuff you have to sit through a painfully long set-up , loads of tedious filler , interminable shots of jeff goldblum stammering and twitching , a superfluous romantic subplot and quite possibly the most annoying performance of robert loggia's career . 
if ever a movie screamed "" wait for video so you can fast-forward through all the dull and annoying parts , "" this is it . 
eddie murphy plays g , a robed nomadic pilgrim wandering the land enjoying the moment and spreading his spiritual message . 
a chance meeting with ricky hayman ( goldblum ) , a stressed-out executive of a home-shopping channel , and kate newell ( kelly preston ) , a no-nonsense media analyst , results in physical injury to g . quicker than you can say "" the odd couple , "" g ends up rooming with an extremely leery ricky . 
after some script gymnastics , g appears live on the air at the good buy shopping network , wreaking havoc on the cheesy product demonstrations , enraging network owner mr . mcbainbridge ( loggia ) , and becoming a national media sensation . 
 "" holy man "" attempts to be several things at once . 
it tries to satirize home shopping networks , but it's difficult to effectively make fun of something that is already a self-parody . 
the film attempts to teach us that collecting material possessions is merely a futile attempt to fill the spiritual holes in our hearts , but that's common knowledge already . 
 "" holy man "" also tries to present a story of redemption , as ricky hayman tries to decide whether to exploit g's good will to achieve financial security or do the right thing at the expense of his career . 
anyone want to place a wager on his final decision ? 
the one genuine asset in "" holy man "" is eddie murphy , who gives a charming performance , sharing love , good will and relevant advice to all those around him , while beaming his million dollar smile at just the right moments . 
murphy is delightful and the film takes off whenever he's onscreen . 
unfortunately , he's not onscreen enough . 
jeff goldblum gets the lion's share of screen time and his tired storyline weighs the proceedings down . 
as his potential love interest , kelly preston tries to brighten things up , but she transforms from an all-business media shark to an empathic softy far too quickly and the abrupt change reeks of contrivance . 
the other principal actor , robert loggia , wastes his talents in a one-note turn as a ruthless , screaming monster . 
structurally unsound and way too long , "" holy man "" is appealing when murphy is onscreen and dull when he isn't . 
instead of dropping your money at the theater for this trifle , wait until it hits video and fast-forward past everything except the murphy scenes . 
g suggests that we focus on enjoying the moment and that's the best way to do so . 
"
"-1","it's actually not so bad that dreamworks decided to release the love letter at about the same time as star wars episode i : the phantom menace , because this way less people will have to sit through this dreadful little comedy . 
and no , i really don't feel guilty about wishing this movie death at the box-office . 
really , i don't . 
not at all . 
the plot has been done before -- a mysterious , unaddressed love letter shows up in a small town , causing confusion for everyone who reads it . 
the center of the ensuing disaster is bookstore owner helen ( kate capshaw , and by the way , what is it with bookstore owner main characters ? 
in the past year and a half we've seen them in life is beautiful , you've got mail , this movie , and the upcoming notting hill ) , who finds the letter in between couch cushions in the bookstore . 
she immediately starts testing other people to see who it might be from , and comes to the ( incorrect ) conclusion that the author of the note is a young employee played by tom everett scott . 
he , reading the letter himself , assumes that she wrote it for him . 
after a while , they fall in love ( well , duh ) . 
kate feels guilty about getting in a relationship with someone more than twenty years younger than her , and she also feels guilty because at the same time she is also involved with the town fireman ( tom selleck ) . 
to add to her turmoil , her mother shows up ( blythe danner , who apparently must have had her daughter when she was about 9 ) and her trusted bookstore manager ( deadpan ellen degeneres ) quits . 
supporting characters aren't called supporting for nothing . 
their purpose isn't just to move the plot along , they're also supposed to give the storyline a backbone . 
to do this , they must exhibit at least marginal depth and must also be interesting . 
rarely can a movie work if it puts an interesting protagonist in the middle and surrounds her with hackneyed , dull , cardboard secondary characters , especially when at the core of the movie is the protagonist's various interactions with them . 
this is the love letter's damning error . 
capshaw's character is as good as i have seen present in recent romantic comedies , but the people that surround her are all either underwritten or purely one-dimensional . 
because of that , the love letter is awkward and insincere . 
even worse -- it's a bore . 
i liked capshaw and her helen , but everyone else is painfully fake , undermining the little drama or sexual tension that has the potential to exist . 
there is nothing particularly hilarious about all this either -- and besides degeneres' wisecracks , there's little that is even a little amusing . 
this is not a completely thoughtless film and director peter ho-sun chan does a good job of portraying helen's yearnings and various subtle complexities . 
but it's far from profound . 
there isn't a common theme running through the proceedings , thus the movie seems thoughtfully pointless . 
really , this is a harmless little movie ; it's far from an abomination and it's not torturous to sit through . 
but bad , it is . 
awful , it also is . 
the love letter is a failure , and an inane failure at that . 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov&#137 ; 
"
"-1","surrounded by hype , high hopes , and the promise of an over-the-top performance by clueless's brittany murphy , don't say a word looked full of promise . 
hell , when i hear that "" i'll never tell "" whisper on the tv commercial , goose bumps run up my spine . 
alas , word is filled with little but disappointment , a kooky mix of girl , interrupted and ransom , with michael douglas and company collecting a paycheck to plod through a vapid and dull kidnapping thriller . 
douglas stars as nathan conrad , renowned new york psychologist , devoted father of jessie conrad ( skye mccole bartusiak ) , and loving husband to aggie conrad ( famke janssen ) . 
after a gang of jewel thieves , headed by sean bean's koster , kidnaps his daughter , nathan is forced to extract from his new patient , the catatonic and violent elisabeth burrows ( murphy ) , the location of some hidden bank job booty that her father hid from the koster gang a decade ago . 
but with hard-nosed detective sandra cassidy ( jennifer esposito , doing her best j . lo impression ) tracking down koster and his gang of hoodlums , the stakes are raised as nathan races against the clock to crack the mystery of elisabeth's head in order to get the goods inside . 
the catch - nathan only has until five o'clock to solve the puzzle ! 
whoa , the suspense is almost too much . 
don't say a word loses the audience inside of 15 minutes . 
murphy looks and acts like linda blair from the exorcist during the first part of the movie , then turns around and reprises like her role from girl , interrupted . 
and the only real "" crazy "" to be found in the film is director gary fleder's ( things to do in denver when you're dead ) staggering use of flashback sequences . 
oliver platt , famke janssen , and even sean bean are decent actors , but the stuff they are given here -- such as a bedridden wife fighting off the token black guy with her crutch -- is insulting and demeaning . 
additionally , the use of the surveillance cameras and laptops to track nathan's every move is downright unbelievable . 
how do ex-cons fresh out of the big house afford all this equipment ? 
despite its flaws , don't say a word is surprisingly some of the best mainstream film you'll find this month -- and audiences will lap it up . 
americans love lukewarm , half-baked thrillers starring big names and accompanied by cheap thrills . 
someone get me my lithium ! 
"
"-1","some concepts seem patently hopeless from the beginning , a live-action version of mr . 
magoo being a prime example . 
the cartoon figure mr . magoo , the bumbling blind man , can be quite funny , but only in small doses and only within the confines of animated images . 
if you think naked gun star leslie nielsen is a dubious choice to play the role of the short guy who runs into walls , you are right , but there is an even more astonishing selection . 
for a director they tapped hong kong's stanley tong , whose resume consists mainly of a handful of movies featuring martial arts expert jackie chan . 
the story , such that there is one , is about a large , stolen ruby , which looks a woolworth reject . 
mr . magoo gets it and , of course , does not realize he has it . 
mayhem then ensues as the bad and the good guys chase each other with mr . magoo frequently oblivious to the fact that anyone is being chased . 
like home alone 3 but without any class , mr . 
magoo can only be described as painfully bad . 
fifteen minutes of it feels like an eternity . 
the movie's humor is pathetically lame , and the pacing is way off . 
when one is stuck in a theater for an hour and a half watching what claims to be a motion picture , one looks for some solace . 
mr . 
magoo provides only three such moments . 
the movie begins and ends with the classic cartoon version of the character , who exudes his usual charm . 
the only other saving grave in the movie itself is angus , the sweet little bulldog . 
angus demonstrates more genuine emotions and a wider acting range than any of the humans in the picture . 
finally , the ending credits contain outtakes of the movie , which have some of the genuineness and spontaneity that the movie badly lacked . 
rather than attempt to adapt mr . magoo to a non-cartoon movie , nielsen makes the strategic mistake of trying to literally be a human version of the cartoon . 
he has trouble sustaining the squinting eyes and the affected voice , and even when he does it comes off as awkwardly unfunny . 
my wife managed to get some sleep during the movie , but i was not so lucky . 
hopefully , this picture will force producers to think harder about which subjects have promise and which do not . 
mr . magoo runs 1 : 37 . 
it is rated pg for comic violence and would be acceptable for all ages . 
my son jeffrey , age 8 , said he thought the movie was good and really funny , but recommends you not choose it if you want an action movie . 
he said he liked home alone 3 much more . 
his friend maxim , age 9 , said that he thought it was good but very silly and parts did not make sense . 
his other friend nickolas , age 8 , said he'd give the movie * * * 1/2 , but that it was really silly . 
"
"-1","breakdown is an moderately entertaining , if underwhelming , thriller . 
kurt russell and kathleen quinlan play couple jeff and amy taylor , taking the scenic route to california through redneck country . 
however , while in the middle of nowhere , their jeep decides to break down , leaving them stranded . 
a friendly truck driver , warren ( walsh ) , offers to give them a lift to town . 
although jeff rejects the offer ( he wants to stay with his car ) , amy agrees , hops into warren's lorry , and promptly disappears . 
jeff wonders where the hell she is , and when he later catches up with warren and warren says he has never seen amy in his life , the plot thickens and jeff goes on a chase to find his wife . 
although comparisons can be made with this film to deliverance ( 1972 ) and the vanishing ( 1993 ) plot wise , the latter two are far superior character and script wise . 
kurt russell is o . k as jeff , although he can seemingly only pull of one expression , which is angry . 
throughout the whole film , he looks angry ( or just pissed off . ) 
quinlan is o . k again , but again she can only pull off one expression , which is looking dorky . 
throughout the whole film , she looks dorky . 
j . t walsh ( who , sadly , recently passed away ) is fine as warren ( who we soon find out is a kidnapper ) although his actual character is pretty weak , and not really menacing enough . 
the supporting cast do their best aswell , with rex linn as a doubting sheriff , and the other kidnappers . 
the story , written by first-timer jonathan mostow ( who also directs ) is o . k , if surprisingly familiar and sometimes extraordinarily stupid . 
some of the things the characters do in this movie is beyond the bounds of idiocy . 
there are some flaws with the plot also , as the characters do the complete opposite to logical ( presumably to keep the story 'exciting' ) and also the fact that the story just isn't strong enough to sustain the audience's attention . 
the picture moves along very slowly also . 
it almost threatens to drop dead . 
the picture does pick up towards the end , but by then it's too late . 
mostow directs the action sequences well enough , however . 
the film doesn't really come to a satisfying conclusion , either . 
the ending tries to be bleak , but just comes off annoying . 
breakdown could of been a far more enjoyable picture had it had a stronger cast and director . 
instead , it just turns out to be merely average . 
a missed opportunity . 
overall rating= review by david wilcock 
"
"-1","ugh . that about sums this movie up . 
just , ugh . 
the original godzilla movies are somewhat of a cult classic , and when reviewing the previous films , each film had a certain degree of intelligence . 
and that was the reason they found such an enviable cult following ; in spite of bad special effects , horrible dubbing , and a man in a lizard suit , they maintained a certain degree of . . . how to put this ? . . . 
dignity ? 
not quite the word i'm looking for . 
you understand , right ? 
and in 50 years , godzilla has maintained that degree of 'whatever' . 
leave it to america to screw the whole thing up . 
>from the 'geniuses' that brought us "" independece day "" , arguably the worst sci-fi movie of all time , to ruin whatever reputation godzilla had . 
while they do bring us eye-popping special effects that will amaze you , they lost what was at the center of all the original godzilla movies -- a storyline . 
summing up the movie is simple . 
heck , i can do it in one sentence : giant lizard attacks a giant city and a bunch of nobodies stop it . 
simple as that . 
matthew broderick stumbles over his lines , and it's hard to picture hank azaria in any role besides his classic dog-walking character on the television show "" mad about you "" . 
the dialogue seems to be improvized , almost as if there was no rehearsel done at all . 
i can see the scene on the set right now . 
 "" all right ! 
we spent all of this money making big special effects , and we've gotta get this movie out by summer or it's going to bomb in our faces . 
so , you actors just say what ever comes to the top of your head , all right ? 
make up something , m'kay ? 
good . 
roll film ! ! "" 
the special effects are enough to keep you interested through one viewing , and some of the cinemtography is well-done ( the scene with the black umbrellas comes to mind ) . 
still , an hour into it , you will become antsy , wondering how long they can drag it out . 
and drag it out they do ! ! 
i have to laugh . 
the slogan for the film is , "" size does matter "" . 
i think they cut this too short . 
it should read , "" size does matter . 
acting does not . "" 
"
"-1","ripe with explosions , mass death and really weird hairdos , tsui hark's "" double team "" must be the result of a tipsy hollywood power lunch that decided jean-claude van damme needs another notch on his bad movie-bedpost and nba superstar dennis rodman should have an acting career . 
actually , in "" double team , "" neither's performance is all that bad . 
i've always been the one critic to defend van damme -- he possesses a high charisma level that some genre stars ( namely steven seagal ) never aim for ; it's just that he's never made a movie so exuberantly witty since 1994's "" timecop . "" 
and rodman . . . 
well , he's pretty much rodman . 
he's extremely colorful , and therefore he pretty much fits his role to a t , even if the role is that of an ex-cia weapons expert . 
it's the story that needs some major work . 
van damme plays counter-terrorist operative jack quinn , who teams up with arms dealer yaz ( rodman ) to rub out deadly gangster stavros ( mickey rourke , all beefy and weird-looking ) in an antwerp amusement park . the job is botched when stavros' son gets killed in the gunfire , and quinn is taken off to an island known as "" the colony "" -- a think tank for soldiers "" too valuable to kill "" but "" too dangerous to set free . "" 
quinn escapes and tries to make it back home to his pregnant wife ( natacha lindinger ) , but stavros is out for revenge and kidnaps her . 
so , what's a kickboxing mercenary to do ? 
quinn looks up yaz and the two travel to rome so they can rescue the woman , kill stavros , save the world and do whatever else the screenplay requires them to do . 
with crazy , often eye-popping camera work by peter pau and rodman's lite brite locks , "" double team "" should be a mildly enjoyable guilty pleasure . 
but too much tries to happen in each frame , and the result is a movie that leaves you exhausted rather than exhilarated . 
the numerous action scenes are loud and headache-inducing and the frenetic pacing never slows down enough for us to care about what's going on in the movie . 
and much of what's going on is just wacky . 
there's a whole segment devoted to net-surfing monks that i have yet to figure out . 
and the climax finds quinn going head-to-head with a tiger in the roman coliseum while yaz circles them on a motorcycle , trying to avoid running over land mines and hold on to quinn's baby boy ( who's in a bomb equipped basket ) -- all this while stavros watches shirtless from the bleachers . 
did i mention "" double team "" is strange ? 
when it all comes down , this is just another rarely entertaining formula killathon , albeit one that feels no need to indulge in gratuitous profanity . 
rodman juices things up with his blatantly vibrant screen persona , though , leading up to a stunt where he kicks an opponent between the legs . 
but we didn't need "" double team "" to tell us he could do that , did we ? 
"
"-1","synopsis : a man whose lover , paris , was murdered agrees to test out an experimental virtual reality home unit system . 
the subject escapes from the real world and his current girlfriend , laura , and becomes addicted to virtual reality , which , due to a design flaw in his unit , recreates the dead paris . 
comments : virtual seduction , executive produced by roger corman and lance h . robbins , serves as a cheaply-made precursor to strange days , a far superior film . 
both movies deal with desperate men who have trouble relating to their current lovers because they are ( ab ) using technology to be with former lovers ( in strange days , the technology utilized recorded dreams rather than virtual reality ) . 
interestingly , both films also take place a couple of years from now during the turn of the new millenium , though strange days uses the setting far more effectively . 
this exemplifies the problem with virtual seduction . 
it's not bad for what it is : low-budget science fiction concerning the psychological dangers of virtual reality . 
unfortunately , it's been done before and since in much better films , a fact which ultimately leaves the sci-fi fan bored by this movie . 
virtual seduction has many faults ( one of them is the fact that the video inexplicably has its own trailer before it begins ) . 
the film's script explores the possibilities of virtual reality interestingly at first , but its treatment of the subject matter gets heavy-handed and wooden as the movie progresses . 
many important scenes seem too dark ; the lighting could have been improved significantly . 
the cast , a collection of veteran b-movie actors and sitcom regulars , do only a mediocre job in their roles . 
jeff fahey , of the original lawnmower man , convincingly , though unenergetically , plays the lead character . 
carrie genzel plays paris , the vr lover , but ami dolenz , as the current love interest , seems like a much more interesting and attractive character with a caring personality , which doesn't lend credence to the film's premise . 
meschach taylor , of the once popular designing women sitcom , adequately plays a scientist working on the project , but his performance isn't something to write home about either . 
virtual seduction is one of those harmless movies to which you could do some light manual labor and not mind having it on in the background . 
in other words , one could fold laundry while glancing up at it every now and then , but it's rather boring to just sit and watch . 
the movie is surprisingly not as violent as one expects from b-movies in this genre , but it is still an adult r-rated film due to sexual situations and a suicide attempt . 
this turkey , ultimately , isn't awful , but it's not particularly interesting or unique either . 
don't be seduced into watching this movie unless you've got several loads of laundry and nothing else to watch . 
"
"-1","yeah , yeah , the advertisements didn't even try to conceal the fact that this movie had only one hook - sex . 
neve campbell and starship trooper's denise richards getting it on ? 
ok ! 
yeah , it's a decent two minutes of film erotica , but even if that's your main interest in this film , there's plenty of cheeziness to sit thru in exchange for those two minutes . 
wild things does have a lot more to think about than you might expect however . 
nearly every single scene is a huge plot twist guaranteed to leave you guessing , or at least curious to see the next turn , throughout the entire movie . 
but this fast-paced , razor-sharp turning of events doesn't leave much time to enjoy the surprises . 
we start off in a high-class california high school where every student resembles a supermodel in the making . 
guidance counselor sam lombardo ( matt dillon ) seems to catch the eye of every student , particularly kelly van ryan ( richards ) , daughter of the locally prestigious family whose social status is about as high as their bank accounts . 
right off the bat , kelly is using every asset she has in an effort to seduce "" mr . lombardo "" . 
the fund-raiser car wash seems the opportune time , particularly when you wash your guidance counselor's jeep in all white clothes and take plenty of precautions to insure you'll be soaked from head to toe when you're done . 
on the weekend of the car wash , kelly's attempts at seduction fall flat , and when they do , she concocts the tale that sam in fact raped her that day . 
naturally sam is thrown into a state of panicked shock at these accusations . 
but the otherwise unsubstantial fabrications soon lead to a criminal trial when a low-class , marijuana smoking student by the name of suzie toller ( campbell ) comes forth with a near identical story , also involving her trusted guidance counselor . 
pitting himself against the communities most respected names and authoritarians , sam must prove his innocence thru the aid of his makeshift defense attorney , ken bowden , played by bill murray . 
yes , that bill murray ! 
sound like a good , complete movie ? 
yes , that alone could have been , but this is just the beginning . 
in fact , the trial is over about fifteen or twenty minutes into the film . 
it is merely used to launch the most twisted story of recent time . 
by the time the movie finishes , you will have gone thru every plot twist imaginable . 
unfortunately , with so much going on , you're not given enough time in one predicament to be as effectively shocked when a new twist comes about . 
this is just one way director john mcnaughton fails to make this movie as fun as it could've been . 
the 113 minutes fly by , and although it never feels underdeveloped , this pretzel of storytelling could've been much more richly realized had a slower pace been taken . 
the acting is incredibly reminiscent of fox prime-time soap operas , which no , is not a good thing . 
and it's not just campbell , who happens to hail from the prime-time fox soap "" party of five "" , but everyone suffers from heavily melodramatic overtones . 
dillon , who was so charming in his understated role in last year's in & out , gives the best performance , and murray's surprising appearance adds some comedic flare to the film . 
in fact , if the whole movie had been promoted as a subtle comedy , even if it was the exact same film , i would actually give it a better grade . 
that's how cheezy it comes off . 
but aside from these two , the rest offer nothing more than some good eye-full's . 
in the right hands , wild things could've been a wickedly delightful , scrumptiously twisted thriller , but instead we get juvenile overuses of profanity and some very laughable displays of acting . 
and what's up with these people passing as high school students ? 
i realize hollywood often casts older actors to play teenage roles , but when i realized it wasn't supposed to be a college they were at , i had to snicker . 
i won't lie - this is definitely a guilty pleasure . 
as corny as it is , it's got some interesting aspects and could deserve at least a "" b "" for effort . 
but if you just want to admire denise richards , go for last year's starship troopers , which was every bit as campy , but a million times better . 
of course , if seeing her breasts is your most important goal , you'll be right at home with wild things . 
perhaps the wildest thing of all is that somebody actually looked at this and thought it deserved to be in theaters . 
"
"-1","i was recently told that in china their had been strong protests against the release of red corner  and this is apparently because of the way it shows the injustice of many chinese laws . 
but if you ask me , the real truth of the matter is that the chinese critics association were determined not to punish the population into viewing richard gere running across rooftops in search for a fellow american . 
or more the point , anyone that allows him to bask in his own less-than-subtle presence . 
this is not an insult to gere , as i consider him to be a rather talented actor  but more the choice of character and responsibility of his role . 
if a film is solely about one person , the main actor must give a faultless performance in order for it to really work . 
although geres performance is in no way poorly acted , it is far from perfect  and i look forward to seeing him star with other talented actors that can reduce the need for him to carry a film by himself . 
this is where he truly belongs , and if you are reluctant to believe me than look no further that primal fear ( with the sensational edward norton ) , the jackal ( with bruce willis ) and pretty woman ( with the delightful julia roberts ) . 
in red corner gere plays classy lawyer jack moore , who is guilty of the same personality traits as his character martin vail in primal fear  bold and up front , who thinks he is three steps ahead of everybody else but is actually two steps behind . 
it is with invulnerability of both mental and physical kind that the character of moore is portrayed , which left me barracking for the chinese to haul his sorry ass into jail . 
it doesnt take long from the films beginning for jack moores charm to work on a pretty chinese lady , and in no time they are in bed together in a hotel room  drunk and cheerful . 
yet instead of a hangover , poor jack finds himself covered in blood and the chinese chick dead on a couch . 
he is arrested and hauled into a chinese prison . 
his cell , food and rights  all terrible . 
now trapped in a foreign land without adequate aid from the american embassy , lawyer shen yuelin ( bai ling ) defends his case by initially pleading guilty to the charge of murder . 
jack and shen argue about their countries different laws ; shen stating that they will shoot you in the back and charge the cost of the bullet to your family .  
as the plot thickens , scenes get progressively more ridiculous  ranging from richard gere running over rooftops in search of the us embassy to a scooby doo ending where the least expected but-you-knew-along criminal is discovered . 
red corner is one of those films where you sneer , laugh or vomit youre way through all of its minutes . 
what should have been a politically taunt thriller is little more than a pointless expedition to see how stressed out richard gere can act . 
this is not to say that the film does not have its moments  there are some tense court room scenes that are shrewdly created  telling the tale of foreign injustice and government corruption . 
but what they amount to spoils the effect of having them in the first place  perhaps this is why red corner is so frustrating to watch . 
if you look at the films overall concept fairly broadly , the basic idea is quite tangible . 
it is upon the films execution where the diminutive plot twists and developments fail to impress or innovate - the evidence that goes missing , the high powered officials shielding the truth and intolerable love angles have all been done so many times before . 
if that wasnt bad enough , red corners dialogue is purely laughable on many occasions . 
shen yuelin attempts to gain sympathy by reciting renaissance of a destitute relationship with her deceased father , whilst jack moore is eager to talk about chinese musical instruments when he could have been working on a plan to free himself . 
taking itself far too seriously , red corner is not half the film it intends to be . 
although it would have benefited from the help of a more valuable supporting cast , the films main fault is in the bizarre ( and often out of place ) way of unfolding a story which isnt that meritorious anyway . 
whilst richard gere still proves that has what it takes to be known as a decent actor , i would think twice before going to see him attempt to manage such a serious yet hollow drama again . 
martin vailwhere are you ? 
"
"-1","not so long ago , men by the names of peckinpah , ford , leone , and eastwood made westerns . 
real westerns . 
these were some of the best films of the twentieth century . 
those days are gone . 
now we have crap like wild wild west to pass for the western . 
and that record is not improved with the unbearable tale of american outlaws . 
outlaws is yet another re-telling of the jesse james legend , courtesy of b-movie king james g . robinson ( producer of such classics as wrongfully accused and chill factor ) . 
delayed since the spring , this version stars the irish hunka hunka burning love colin farrell ( the best part of schumacher's tigerland ) as the bad-ass jesse james . 
alas , any sense of his character has been left on the ranch , leaving us with only cute chicks like ali larter ( minus the whipped cream ) to watch . 
the spin this time around : fresh from serving as southern militiamen in the civil war , jesse james ( farrell ) , his brother frank ( gabriel macht ) , and his pal cole younger ( scott caan ) lay down their arms and head home to missouri to tend the family farms after the war has ended . 
but trouble is brewing in their small town of liberty when evil railroad baron thaddeus rains ( harris yulin ) and his cronies rollin parker ( terry o'quinn ) and allan pinkerton ( timothy dalton ) demand the boys turn over their lands to the railroads . 
the jameses and the youngers then join forces to fight the railroad -- by robbing banks up and down missouri , thus cutting off the railroad's financial surplus and playing robin hood to the local people . 
along the way , the boys squabble over who's the cutest of the gang , who's the most popular cowboy in the gang , and who ought to go on mtv's total request live . 
they rob numerous banks with identical interiors , always with the kindest of hearts , strutting in their grungy dusters as moby songs play in the background . 
the witty banter they share could be plastered within a hallmark card . 
the biggest disappointment here lies in the acting of colin farrell . 
after a great job in tigerland , farrell walks through this role easier then nicolas cage in gone in 60 seconds . 
and his american accent rivals richard gere's irish accent in the jackal . 
combined with feeling like bonanza : the teen years , this homogenized production ( toned down to get the ever-popular pg-13 rating ) gives us an invincible jesse james that quickly grows tiresome and boring . 
the unbearable villains courtesy of timothy dalton and thaddeus rains spend the entire film proclaiming that everyone should be hanged , sucking out any energy left in the film . 
not to mention : the real story of jesse james and his gang bears no resemblance to the plot of american outlaws . 
instead , the movie is full of old , outrageous tales about the wild west -- tales which went out of style in 5-cent magazines about a century ago . 
"
"-1","actually , i'm fairly sure the experience of having my flesh torn and mutilated by barbed wire would have been more positive than watching this movie . 
 "" baywatch "" babe pamela anderson lee proves once and for all that she should keep her double-d's on the small screen . 
at least there you don't have to pay to see her cleavage . 
and for those viewers out there who would only lay down money for this movie in hopes of seeing pam topless , hate to burst your bubble , but there are no full-fledged nude scenes in barb wire . 
you wouldn't be reading this review right now if i had known that fact going in . 
i can't go back in time and reverse my mistake , but i can warn other horny teenage boys out there . 
they do tease us a few times with scenes where you almost see her topless but if she is nude , it's so quick you can't even tell for sure whether you're seeing her andersons or not . 
a nipple hallucination sort of thing . 
barb wire was adapted from a comic book , interesting because pamela is probably the only woman who looks like a comic book character in real life , even wearing low-cut leather to do office work ( businesswoman bondage wear ) and having unreal body proportions . 
yes , like the mona lisa , pamela anderson is a man-made beauty , probably in more senses than one . 
she is a definite beauty , though , and looking at her is never an unpleasant experience . 
you'd just think the woman who began her career as a playboy playmate wouldn't have any reservations about appearing nude in the movie , because it's obvious she wasn't pulling a sharon stone and trying to make people pay attention to her acting skills . 
i mean , she shows off more cleavage here than a jeweler's convention . 
the movie is set in the year 2017 , "" the worst year of my life , "" pam says . 
 ( "" the worst movie of the year , "" i say . ) 
america is going through a second civil war and pamela is a nightclub owner in the only free city in the nation ( silicone valley , i think ) . 
she also hires herself out as a bounty hunter when the price is right , posing as first a stripper and later as a prostitute . 
but don't call her "" babe . "" 
she hates that , and reminds us of that fact way too many times . 
imagine , a woman who does a trapeze strip tease in a bar while having a hose sprayed on her being referred to in such a sexist , demeaning term . 
a liberated woman like pamela anderson shouldn't have to hear words like "" babe "" during a strip tease , especially since that movie about the talking pig was such a success . 
the plot ( ha-ha ) revolves around a pair of contact lenses that allow their wearer to pass through the congressional directorate's retina scanners . 
in the words of one of the characters , they're "" more than meets the eye . "" 
reminds me of the "" transformers "" cartoon , and i sure wished the movie could somehow be transformed into something decent , but that never happened . 
no , the movie just continued on its path of lame action scenes starring pamela van-damme , big-busted kickboxer , and her resistance accomplices , ex-boyfriend axel ( tamuera morrison ) and cora ( victoria rowell ) . 
thank god they didn't name her cora reef . 
one bad character name is more than enough . 
pamela originally doesn't take sides , giving some speech about she's only loyal to the money they pay her , but she changes her mind once the congressional bastards kill her blind brother , jack noseworthy of bon jovi "" always "" video fame . 
i still don't know if barb wire is a step up or step down for noseworthy , but he definitely is nose worthy ( even if he isn't sponge worthy ) . 
pam gets ready to avenge his death by grabbing up an armful of semi-automatic weapons and strapping an ammunitions belt to her chest . 
it's not rambo . . . 
it's bimbo ! 
mark my words , barb wire will be all over the cinemax network in a year . 
it's got all the elements of the direct-to-video releases featured on hbo's bastard cousin , the cable channel i'd never watch if it didn't somehow come free . 
it's got the non-titillating scenes of voyeurism , laughable flashbacks , bad dialogue and action cliches out the wazzoo . 
there's even a narrator at the beginning setting up the movie's premise while the words scroll up the screen . 
someone needs to tell pamela the wookie this ain't star wars . 
if you've seen any action flick of the past fifteen years , you'll recognize plenty of lifted elements . 
barb wire has the obligatory trucks flipping over , car crashes , explosions , broken glass and slow-motion shots of bodies falling hundreds of feet to their death . 
this is one of those automatic-pilot movies anyone could write or direct . 
barb wire has only two things going for it . . . 
and i think you know what those two things are . 
"
"-1","part buddy comedy , part fish-out-of-water story , part nature tale , meet the deedles is not nearly as interesting as any of those archetypes . 
in fact , it is an invitation you ought to disregard . 
phil and stew deedle ( paul walker and steve van wormer ) are the twin sons of the famous millionaire , elton deedle ( eric braeden ) , founder of deedle enterprises . 
elton wants his sons to be the perfect heirs to his fortune . . . instead 
the two are careless hawaiian surf bums . 
to set them straight , he enrolls them into a strict wyoming boot camp , to which the pair inevitably go . 
after several misadventures in wyoming , where the duo is stunned to discover there's no surf , the brothers deedle stumble upon a routine mistaken identity plot . 
they arrive at yellowstone national park , where they are believed to be two new park ranger recruits . 
rather than slinking back home and disappointing their dad , the deedles play along . 
phil , actually , has other motives : the beautiful park ranger jesse ( a . 
j . langer ) , who unfortunately happens to be the beloved stepdaughter of the overprotective park ranger captain douglas pine ( john ashton ) . 
yellowstone has a problem . 
it's only a week before the famous geyser old faithful celebrates its one billionth birthday , and the park is being overrun with prairie dogs . 
not just one or two . . . thousands of them . 
the deedles are assigned to eliminate the p . dog menace , not knowing that it all is part of a fiendish plan by disgraced former head ranger frank slater ( dennis hopper ) . 
the brothers deedle aren't supposed to be out-and-out stupid , like the team from dumb and dumber , or bill and ted . 
instead , their brains just operate in a different , simpler , realm . 
a more accurate comparison would be with carrot top in chairman of the board , a film which , unfortunately , this one resembles in several hideous ways . 
the central problem with meet the deedles is that it simply just isn't funny . 
there's a moment when phil utters the line , "" insert laugh here "" , which nearly sums up the entire meet the deedles experience . 
the result isn't bad in a run-shrieking-from-the-theater type of way . 
instead , it's merely bad in an excruciatingly boring sort of way . 
the cast seems decent , but they're never asked to do anything remotely interesting . 
instead , the film inundates the audience with countless shots of people and/or cars rolling downhill in the forest , and with constant annoying references to other disney films . 
you'll have much better luck finding a good spot to surf in wyoming than finding entertainment in meet the deedles . 
"
"-1","adam sandler isn't known for appearing in deep , thought-provoking films , but he's still a really funny guy . 
most of his movies are successful not because of the film making behind them , but because they let sandler do what he does best without a stupid plot to drown him out . 
big daddy is the first film in which the story seems more important than sandler's comic performance , and it's a miserable failure . 
sandler plays a thirty-something loser who gets attached to an orphaned young boy ( played by cole and dylan sprouse ) . 
as one might expect from the synopsis , director dennis dugan resorts to the usual bag of manipulative and sentimental sequences , including a repulsive courtroom battle and a lot of teary scenes in which characters say "" good-bye "" to one another ; in addition , there's a ridiculous amount of disgusting toilet humor ( urine and vomit both get more screen time than sandler himself ) . 
there's a hilarious running joke featuring a female doctor who previously worked at hooters , and the film features passable performances from sandler , joey lauren adams ( as the love interest ) , and the two young boys , but the film on the whole is trite and disappointingly unfunny . 
"
"-1","at the end of an action scene in "" lara croft : tomb raider , "" a wall collapses near the nubile warrior . 
with her face on the floor , she gazes into the rubble , then grins abruptly and says "" oh , my car keys ! "" 
i mention this scene because it was the only moment in the whole damned production that made me smile . 
based on an incredibly popular video game , "" lara croft : tomb raider "" is a lousy movie . 
the structure goes like this : poorly-staged action sequence , boring exposition , poorly-staged action sequence , boring exposition , etc . etc . , the end . 
basically , the film exists to showcase angelina jolie's puffy lips and enhanced tits . 
close-ups are framed oh-so-carefully to include her million dollar bazooms . 
running scenes highlight her bouncing breasts in vintage "" baywatch "" fashion . 
there's even include a shower scene that offers a brief side view of them . 
but the filmmakers are so inept they can't even flash the audience correctly . 
the one extended display of nudity is of - get ready for this - a guy . 
for no particular reason , a muscular supporting character strolls around naked for about 30 seconds , with each shot composed to barely cover his package , ? la "" austin powers . "" 
now , i enjoy a good looking male body as much as the next gay guy , but what the hell is beefcake doing in a t&a flick aimed at heterosexual males ? 
of course , what else should one expect in a film that does virtually nothing right ? 
 "" tomb raider "" sets up elaborate action set pieces , then renders them incomprehensible with needless jump cut editing ( a promising dual bungee cord battle is ruined by excessive cuts ) . 
it promises a series of exotic locales , then delivers cavernous sets and grimy matte paintings with smoggy skies . 
throw in some bargain basement computer graphics and you end up with the ugliest movie to come down the pike in many moons . 
intended to be a rousing "" indiana jones "" style adventure , "" tomb raider "" lacks any sense of tension . 
the low point comes when lara is "" threatened "" by statues of monkey warriors and a giant multi-armed shiva figure that come to life courtesy of cgi . 
easily the lamest menaces i have ever seen , the creatures move like snails and fall apart with a single shot from a gun . 
if you ever have to be chased by monsters , pray that you get the monkey warriors . 
 "" tomb raider "" tells a story , sort of . 
once every 5 , 000 years , the planets align . 
a group of very bad men are out to find two halves of an object that , if reassembled just as the planets align , will give them control over time itself . 
lara's goal is to stop them and rescue her long-missing poppa ( jon voight , jolie's real life dad ) . 
none of this matters though , because stunning gaps in internal logic assure that the plot of "" lara croft : tomb raider "" is as lame as ever other aspect of the film ? except angelina jolie's lips and breasts . 
"
"-1","when robert forster found himself famous again after appearing in "" jackie brown "" , he immediately signed up for a little film called "" american perfekt "" . 
this was almost two years ago . 
i waited patiently for the film to be released , but it never was . 
finally , i forgot about it . 
the other day , though , while i was perusing the selection of the local video store , i stumbled upon , you guessed it , "" american perfekt "" . 
i immediately rented it and with a certain amount of glee , rushed home to view it . 
having now seen the film , i understand why it never saw theatrical release . 
 "" american perfekt "" is a jumbled mess . 
the storyline is non-existent . 
it took me half the movie just to figure out what was going on . 
and at that point , the only thing i really knew for sure was that the movie was * never * going to introduce a plot of some sort . 
it wants to get by on quirkyness and so-called charm alone , and it just doesn't work . 
robert forster plays a psychiatrist who picks up amanda plummer , and they head off on the road together . 
along the way to no discernable destination , they run into all sorts of kooky and wacky characters . 
i suppose this free-wheeling , no plot style is supposed to give the film an element of danger and excitment , but all it did was make me sleepy . 
i'm all for trying new things within the realm of film , but not at the expense of coherence . 
nothing in this movie makes sense . 
the actions of the characters go unexplained , even when they're truly bizarre . 
i'll give you an example , without giving too much away . 
david thewlis has a part as a drifting con-man . 
at one point , mid-way through the movie , he runs forster and plummer off the road with his car . 
as he passes them , we see that his face is covered in blood . 
do you think we would get an explanation as to what happened to him ? 
you would think so , wouldn't you . 
 "" american perfekt "" is a waste of time . 
nothing is gained from watching this movie , except maybe a migraine . 
and if you do rent it , don't bother trying to figure out what's going on in the hopes that everything will be resolved by the end . 
this doesn't happen . 
and no explanation is given for the misspelling of "" perfect "" , either . 
"
"-1","you'd think that after awhile hollywood would stop trying to make movies out of video games . 
it hasn't worked so far . 
 "" street fighter ? "" 
 "" super mario brothers ? "" 
 "" wing commander ? "" 
 "" mortal kombat ? "" 
not a watchable film in the bunch . 
still i held out some hope for "" tomb raider . "" 
after all , the game's premise is heavily influenced by the indiana jones trilogy and all the mummy movies , so there are cinematic elements imbedded in the concept . 
however , despite the potential of the project , "" tomb raider "" proves to be yet another bomb . 
the plot is a convoluted accumulation of nonsense probably borrowed from a dozen bad movies . 
there's a once-ever-5000-years alignment of planets coming up , and the illuminati have to find both halves of an ancient triangle that controls time in order to take over the world . 
of course , the ancient folks who divided the triangle buried the halves in tombs on opposite sides of the world . 
our heroine , lady lara croft ( angelina jolie ) , finds the key that opens the tombs in relics that her dead father ( jon voight ) dug up . 
she figures that if she gets the triangle , she can bring her dad back from the dead . 
of course , no one was expecting much of a plot from this movie anyway . 
in both video games and action movies , the plot is just an excuse for the action sequences . 
however , the action in "" tomb raider "" shows little style or originality . 
there's lots of shooting and some kung fu fightin' , but none of it progresses beyond the level of a cheap direct-to-cable flick . 
the other goofy archeologist flick of the summer , "" the mummy returns , "" was much better ; it had its flaws , but its action was creative and large-scale . 
since winning her academy award for "" girl , interrupted , "" jolie hasn't taken any projects that would display her acting talents . 
 "" tomb raider "" seems to be more interested in displaying her breasts ; so much attention is drawn to them that it's a shame there's no oscar for best performance by a wonderbra . 
while we don't see much of her acting ability ( with the exception of a wonderful upper-crust british accent ) , we do get a hint of jolie's less savory side . 
considering the rumors of incest that hang over jolie and her supposed obsession with death , having lara be obsessed with resurrecting her dead father ( and uninterested in any of the living males around her ) seems a poor choice . 
having jolie's real life father jon voight play the dead dad makes it even creepier . 
i haven't decided what to make of director simon west yet . 
his first feature was the star-studded disaster "" con air , "" but my opinion of him improved with "" the general's daughter , "" which was thick with sultry atmosphere . 
now this train wreck . 
i hope he improves again because his next project is the big screen version of the cult tv series "" the prisoner . "" 
hollywood has already screwed up "" the avengers , "" and "" the prisoner "" represents a chance for redemption . 
 ( by the way , speaking of british tv , "" red dwarf "" fans should look for chris "" rimmer "" barrie in his first major film role ) . 
"
"-1","the last of vampire-films offers plenty of blood and gore , but beyond that - nothing . 
jack crow ( james woods ) is a professional vampire slayer that is secretly working for the vatican . 
his and his men's mission is to clean the earth from vampires . 
they have lost count of how many vampires they have slaughtered , but one has always escaped them . 
valek ( thomas ian griffith ) - the dark messias and ruler of the undead that is older than time itself . 
for all eternity the vampires have searched for their salvation - the black cross . 
with the cross in their possesion , the vampires will be able to walk in the sunlight . 
after that it is either the humans or the vampires who will dominate the earth . . . 
i have never liked john carpenter and his style . 
after seeing this film , my opinions have not changed . 
john carpenter remains john carpenter . 
however , because of the film's self-irony , black humour and fascinating cinematography , i would say that it is his greatest achievement in a long , long time . 
neither the synopses or carpenter's direction are original . 
but there are some things that are interesting . 
the director's negative view on the catholic church , for instance . 
at the end of the film it becomes clear that cardinal alba ( maximilian schell ) has simply used crow and his team to find valek , so that he would gain eternal life . 
otherwise the catholic priests are shown cool - drinking , smoking and breaking the rool of celibacy . 
carpenter has created an interesting atmosphere . 
set in new mexican dessert , he switches between bright golden sunrises and bloody sundowns , symbolically illustrating the good and the evil through light and darkness . 
more than anything in this film , this simple illustration shows the battle between good and evil . 
the cinematography by gary b . kibbe is probably the film's greatest achievement . 
music ( composed by john carpenter himself ) is at times effective , the special effects and makeup are likewise worth a notice . 
when it comes to the cast ( in an intellectual film like this casting is the last problem ; everyone can scream and swing the axe ! ) , but here james woods is suprisingly convincing . 
he is macho and cool as the dedicated hunter , who lost his family to the "" breed of evil "" . 
woods is constantly overacting , which really saves the film from falling into the trap of serious self importance . 
daniel baldwin is also entertaining as crow's loyal partner . 
the other cast members are struggling . 
because the film doesn't take itself too seriously , it stays afloat . 
still it is like most vampire-films - a mediocre experience . 
"
"-1","i'm not sure who the genius is who came up with the idea of comparing "" disturbing behavior "" with "" scream . "" 
maybe it's because they're both horror films ( kinda ) , both have hot young stars , both have an annoying alternative soundtrack , and both are aimed at the teenage crowd , which i guess includes me . 
but this is not the next in line with the "" scream "" flicks as well as the "" i know what you did last summer "" soon to be flicks . 
it owes less to "" halloween "" and more to kafka and orwell , which , in my book , makes for a more interesting feature . 
and it should have been . 
this is basically a rehash of "" the stepford wives , "" the great 70s film i never saw starring katherine ross and dealing , as i've been told , with a bunch of women who are programmed to be perfect housewives . 
or something like that . 
 "" behavior , "" starring katie holmes of "" dawson's creek , "" deals with a bunch of teenagers , deep in angst , who are being programmed to be perfect teenagers . 
suck-ups . 
preppies . 
it actually , at least to me , sounds like it would work , and with scott rosenberg , that witty penmen who has written stuff like "" beautiful girls "" and "" things to do in denver when you're dead "" ( as well as "" con air "" ) , it actually sounds like it may be pulled off with the right amount of frights and satiric wit . 
alas , it's not , and it plumets into that little group of movies known as "" the movies with potential that blow it . "" 
i remember a film called "" white man's burden "" which dealt with a reversal of blacks and whites in society that did nothing with it's potentially brilliant premise . 
here's another one . 
it could be a brilliant satire on how teenagers need to go through teen angst in order to find themselves . 
it's a stage , and this film does in fact realize that . 
it gets its message across and it does it effortlessly . 
now it just needs to work as a film . 
which it doesn't . 
it's too sloppy and too contrived . 
it paints a bleak portrait of high school life . . . then 
lets it lie . 
it brings us a bunch of scary monsters who are all a bunch of disgustingly icky kiss-ups who do food drives and hang out at a 50s diner drinking milk shakes . . . then 
gives it a cheap twist : when they get horny , they become homicidal . 
isn't it scary enough that they're like this , and can't the real terror in the town be that you could be next to be just like them - not that you could be next to die ? 
the film introduces us two three different characters who , in the beginning , are considered outsiders because they're not ( yet ) part of this clique : the new kid , steve ( james marsden - dull dull dull dull ) , who's having trouble at home because he hasn't gotten over his brother's ( ethan embry , in quick flashes so you don't recognize him - i did ) suicide ; the renegade girl , rachel ( katie holmes , from "" dawson's creek "" ) , who's chief personality trait is her prominent nose ring ; and by far the most interesting kid , gavin ( nick stahl , the kid from "" the man without a face "" ) , who's the most interesting because he's the only character who's given some dimension . 
in the film's best scene , he introduces steve to every single clique , nailing each one's fetishes and hang-ups , and it's the best scene in the movie because it's witty , satirical , and interesting - something the rest of this film isn't . 
gavin suspects there's something awry with the preppie kids , known as the blue ribbons , and in the tradition of all conspirators , and even when he actually shows hard pure evidence to steve , he's only treated as a typical raving conspiracy buff . 
here , we have another case of "" the idiot plot , "" where not only could steve had done something about gavin and what happens to him , but he may have saved this film from being the dreary , dull film that it is without gavin , who gives it life and humor . 
the only other half-interesting character is the school janitor , played by william sadler as a retarded , scary guy who may not be what he seems to be . . . but 
really , we don't care anyway . 
i probably shouldn't mention that this was directed by david nutter , who's works for "" the x-files , "" because that would probably tarnish his reputation . 
like the show , he's good at setting up weird conspiracies , and creating a general creepy feel . 
most of this film is shot at night and with dark eerie shadows for the maximum creepy effect , and some of it works . 
but what this film is not so good at is coming out with a good payoff . 
he keeps too much inside , so much that when the characters journey to a mental institution in the third act , you wonder why they just don't get the hell out of there . 
i think what happens to gavin is proof enough that there's something rotten in the state of teen angstdom . 
what this film needs to be is a lot longer , a lot more colorful , and a lot creepier . 
if the best villain they can come up with is a guidance counselor ( played by bruce greenwood , an atom egoyan regular obviously just trying to pay the rent ) who still thinks he can get away with it even when most is revealed , then they need to come up with a tougher , smarter villain . 
if he's so villainous , then why could two dense teenagers who couldn't figure out there was something going on until it was way too late find information on him in a couple minutes ? 
the film , which runs about 80 or so minutes , just needs to work on these things , and become a lot less sloppy . 
at such a short running time and with such lame , boring characters as these , it's pretty much obvious that leaving this film leaves a horribly unsatisfied taste in one's mouth , especially mine . 
"
"-1","in the interest of being generous , i want to start this review with the scene that i liked in meet joe black . 
sir anthony hopkins , playing a super-rich media mogul , has gathered his family around him for dinner . 
his oldest daughter ( played by marcia gay harden from millers crossing ) , who has been obsessively planning his sinfully extravagant birthday party , presents him with three superbly decorated little cakes , which are supposed to be scale models for his big birthday cake . 
the daughter asks hopkins to pick the one he likes . 
hopkins , frustrated by the weight of planning for the whole elaborate affair , does what any man in his position would do : he punts . 
whichever one you like , dear , he says . 
and the daughter does exactly what any woman in her position would do : she cries . 
i liked that scene for two reasons . 
first , the cakes looked really cool . 
second , it was , perhaps , the only scene in the movie where people acted as you would expect people to act . 
meet joe black is chock-full of odd performances , people doing things for no discernible reason at all , and doing them in slow motion over the course of three hours to boot . 
it's easy to watch meet joe black for the abundant eye candy of the palatial homes and the beauteous claire forlani , but it's even easier to sleep right through it ( two people on my row managed it quite nicely ) . 
the difficult part of the movie is understanding the characters and their motivations and why someone thought three hours was an appropriate length for this overwrought mess . 
i know my audience had problems with the movie , because they thought it was a comedy . 
case in point : everyone should know by now that brad pitt plays the angel of death in this movie . 
however , the first we see of him is as a young lawyer in a coffee shop hitting on the glamorous claire forlani . 
 ( it's not clear from the movie whether you need a law degree to become the angel of death , but it makes a certain kind of sense . ) 
it shouldn't take long for the observant moviegoer to realize that bad things are about to happen to mr . pitt . 
and indeed they do ( after a hideously prolonged sequence where pitt looks over his shoulder at the retreating forlani and forlani looks over her shoulder at the retreating pitt ) , because pitt walks into the road without looking and suddenly gets squished . 
well , when that happened , the audience howled with laughter , and continued to laugh at every comment that was remotely humorous . 
so , if you think that sudden violent death and sarcastic drawing-room humor are funny , i encourage you to go see meet joe black immediately . 
anyway , the deceased lawyer's body , no worse the wear from its massive injuries , is possessed by the angel of death and brad pitt takes over that role . 
the idea is that death ( given the pen name of joe black , so as not to disturb others ) wants to take a holiday and experience the world . 
if this weren't hollywood , we might get an interesting metaphysical discussion of life and death , but since it is , we get scene after scene of fish-out-of-water humor , just as if death is george of the jungle or crocodile dundee or some other poor schmuck who's wandered in from the jungle or the outback or whatever and doesn't know how to act in our society . 
it also doesn't help that the character of death is written so inconsistently . 
he claims to be on vacation , but he never does anything except hang around the seriously attractive claire forlani ( just try to get your travel agent to book that one ) . 
he speaks very slow and halting english but perfectly fluent jamaican patois . 
he knows everything about some characters , nothing about others . 
and as played by brad pitt , he's not especially menacing or charming or glamorous or intriguing , he's just there . 
it's as if someone told pitt , "" never mind about acting in this picture , son , just stand there and look pretty . "" 
it's as if pitt is doing his keanu reeves impression throughout the movie . 
i've used the phrase "" angel of death "" in this review very deliberately to contrast pitt's performance with this year's best angel performance , nicolas cage's in city of angels . 
where pitt is cold and unfeeling , cage is as warm and empathetic as the situation allows . 
where cage is genuinely curious about the nature of man , pitt is aloof and arrogant . 
cage struck instant chemical sparks with co-star meg ryan , where the chemistry between pitt and forlani is only understandable if you accept the notion that forlani's character is so shallow that she can't see beyond pitt's good looks . 
the movie's other top name is a much better actor , but that doesn't save meet joe black . 
sir anthony hopkins isn't given much better material to work with , unfortunately . 
he plays one of these good-hearted multimillionaire media moguls that only exist in hollywood . 
 ( one wonders what might have happened if they had made hopkins's character more realistically evil . ) 
hopkins is marked for death due to a bad ticker , but death steps in and grants him some extra time in exchange for being his guide in the world . 
of course , no one can be sure of how they will act when death taps on their shoulder . 
but i have to wonder ( and in this movie , you have a very long time to wonder ) how you or i would act in a similar situation , especially if you or i were a multimillionaire . 
hopkins pretty much goes to the office -- and the major subplot revolves around who will control the corporation . 
fans of corporate intrigue will be fascinated , i'm sure . 
i stayed awake all the way through meet joe black , and i'm asking myself why . 
movies about death should encourage you to live life to the fullest , which is what i'm going to do now . 
go spend time with your family , go volunteer for a local charity , heck , go take a nap . 
don't go see meet joe black , because all it will do is move you three long hours closer to death . 
-- curtis edmonds 
 "" no children have ever meddled with the republican party and lived to tell about it . "" 
-- sideshow bob 
"
"-1","a cop with a troubled personal life . 
a ruthless villain . 
a friend of the cop . 
a _dead_ friend of the cop . 
a quest for vengeance . 
a new partner . 
a romantic interest . 
a chase scene . 
a chase scene _in san francisco_ . 
a woman in peril . 
a confrontation . 
an explosion . 
the end . 
yawn . 
yawn . 
yawn . 
the preceding has been the plot of approximately twelve thousand and six action films ; this one just happens to be called metro . 
i have learned to expect little from films like metro , and consequently i am bored by them more often than i am genuinely disappointed . 
with eddie murphy on board , however , you hope for something extra , some kind of spark . 
when a film makes watching eddie murphy a tedious experience , you know it is doing something terribly wrong . 
murphy stars as scott roper , a hostage negotiator for the san francisco police department who is exceedingly good at his job . 
with his personal life , he is considerably less successful , facing an unhappy ex-girlfriend named veronica ( carmen ejogo ) , a gambling problem and a mountain of debt . 
then his professional life gets a jolt as well when a friend and colleague ( art evans ) is murdered while investigating suspected jewel thief michael korda ( michael wincott ) . 
finding korda becomes very personal to scott , and he joins with new partner kevin mccall ( michael rappaport ) to foil korda during an attempted heist . 
but all is not well even with korda in jail , as scott , veronica and kevin all continue to face life-threatening danger . 
metro ( the title , in case you are wondering , means absolutely nothing ) is so badly put together that even the most casual viewer may notice the miserable pacing and stray plot threads . 
in the first place , korda's rage over being discovered before he can make his big score is rendered completely pointless when he proceeds to hit the target anyway ( and , incidentally , to screw it up ) . 
a reference to payoffs in the police department , followed by a conspicuous decision to keep scott off the korda case and a couple of pointed glances , is dropped abruptly with no resolution after about forty-five minutes ; even the relationship between scott and new partner kevin is so perfunctory , with kevin disappearing entirely after taking a bullet for scott , that you may yearn for bickering buddies . 
worst of all is a plot structure which places the main villain ( the always menacing michael wincott ) behind bars for far too long , leaving a lot of time to kill with the tedious reconciliation of scott and veronica . 
you can't blame murphy for being unable to muster any enthusiasm for the scenes with his bland leading lady , but he should have known better than to take this role at all . 
scott roper exists in an uncomfortable middle ground between the kind of street-wise fast-talker murphy has built a career on and an actual three-dimensional character , and murphy is never able to reconcile the two . 
the script seems to have been doctored for him , with a gambling problem turned into a bit of character color and his supposed inability to form relationships turned into a cause for gags rather than actual conflict , yet there is still too little comedy for murphy to work with . 
for much of the film , he walks around with an intense frown , and it is over 90 minutes into metro before you hear that trademark laugh for the first time . 
murphy is stranded with too few solid punch lines , and nearly all of the ones he does have bounce of ejogo and fall to the ground limply . 
i suppose i should give director thomas carter credit for taking the obligatory san francisco car chase ( how much do you want to bet on the likelihood of seeing a car soar over a hill ? ) and doing a few interesting things with it . 
as vehicles are sent flying and passengers sent sprawling by a runaway cable car , it is possible at least for a moment to take some pleasure in a goofy spin on a familiar situation . 
carter does an even better job by taking that old suspense stand-by -- the medicine cabinet mirror which will close to reveal a killer standing behind someone -- and using it to defuse tension not once , but _twice_ . 
the fact that carter was able to demonstrate even that much recognition of cliches , and a willingness to subvert them , makes his involvement in the rest of the disaster that is metro all the more puzzling . 
an action film like this plods so relentlessly and obviously from point a to point b to point c that you might find yourself shouting out "" point c ! "" while they're still getting to point b , or getting up with the rest of the audience after the big explosion which signals that nothing else of any consequence is going to happen . 
"
"-1","can a horror movie truly be called a horror movie if it has no scares , suspense , or even eerie elements ? 
i think not , but that's what children of the corn 666 : issac's return wants us to believe . 
the sixth installment in the horrible , worn out series is by far the worst to date . 
unlike the other five chapters , children of the corn 666 is a confusing , brainless thriller that takes the psychological horror route rather than slasher horror , but either way , none of these movies are the least bit scary . 
the film follows hannah ( natalie ramsey ) a teen looking for her mother in gatlin , nebraska , on the eve of her 21st birthday . 
what starts out as a daughter in desperate search of her long lost mother turns into the story of hannah being the first daughter of the children of the corn , who roam the cornfields looking for adults to murder . 
that's about all that's understandable in the film , as after we learn this much , issac ( john franklin ) who led the children of the corn in a previous chapter , now an older , strange man , is looking for hannah to fulfill his prophecy . 
and this is supposed to make sense . 
really . 
from the start the film is unclear of where its going , not developing any characters or throwing any concrete plot details across the table , constantly introducing new characters without personalities or the slightest hint of an individuality , and sub plots that have nothing to do with what seems to the main focus of the film . 
the film runs at a short 78 minutes , but it seems to be more in the vicinity of two hours , as the bleak , slow pacing makes children of the corn 666 : issac's return excruciatingly boring . 
plot holes are everywhere in tim sulka and john franklin's unbelievably horrible script , as nothing is accomplished or clear when the film reaches its conclusion . 
everyone and everything involved with children of the corn 666 : issac's return , namely writers john franklin and tim sulka , along with director kari skogland , should crawl under a rock , and hope no one sees their horrible work of trash . 
the bottom line : horrible , horrible , horrible . 
another attempt to revive this worn out genre falls flat . 
and what's with that title ? 
the devil has nothing to do whatsoever with this film . 
let's pray that this is the finale in one of the worst current film series . 
one of the worst horror films in years . 
"
"-1","arnold schwarzenegger has been an icon for action enthusiasts , since the late 80's , but lately his films have been very sloppy and the one-liners are getting worse . 
it's hard seeing arnold as mr . freeze in batman and robin , especially when he says tons of ice jokes , but hey he got 15 million , what's it matter to him ? 
once again arnold has signed to do another expensive blockbuster , that can't compare with the likes of the terminator series , true lies and even eraser . 
in this so called dark thriller , the devil ( gabriel byrne ) has come upon earth , to impregnate a woman ( robin tunney ) which happens every 1000 years , and basically destroy the world , but apparently god has chosen one man , and that one man is jericho cane ( arnold himself ) . 
with the help of a trusty sidekick ( kevin pollack ) , they will stop at nothing to let the devil take over the world ! 
parts of this are actually so absurd , that they would fit right in with dogma . 
yes , the film is that weak , but it's better than the other blockbuster right now ( sleepy hollow ) , but it makes the world is not enough look like a 4 star film . 
anyway , this definitely doesn't seem like an arnold movie . 
it just wasn't the type of film you can see him doing . 
sure he gave us a few chuckles with his well known one-liners , but he seemed confused as to where his character and the film was going . 
it's understandable , especially when the ending had to be changed according to some sources . 
aside form that , he still walked through it , much like he has in the past few films . 
i'm sorry to say this arnold but maybe these are the end of your action days . 
speaking of action , where was it in this film ? 
there was hardly any explosions or fights . 
the devil made a few places explode , but arnold wasn't kicking some devil butt . 
the ending was changed to make it more spiritual , which undoubtedly ruined the film . 
i was at least hoping for a cool ending if nothing else occurred , but once again i was let down . 
i also don't know why the film took so long and cost so much . 
there was really no super affects at all , unless you consider an invisible devil , who was in it for 5 minutes tops , worth the overpriced budget . 
the budget should have gone into a better script , where at least audiences could be somewhat entertained instead of facing boredom . 
it's pitiful to see how scripts like these get bought and made into a movie . 
do they even read these things anymore ? 
it sure doesn't seem like it . 
thankfully gabriel's performance gave some light to this poor film . 
when he walks down the street searching for robin tunney , you can't help but feel that he looked like a devil . 
the guy is creepy looking anyway ! 
when it's all over , you're just glad it's the end of the movie . 
don't bother to see this , if you're expecting a solid action flick , because it's neither solid nor does it have action . 
it's just another movie that we are suckered in to seeing , due to a strategic marketing campaign . 
save your money and see the world is not enough for an entertaining experience . 
"
"-1","i still can't figure out why people went in droves to see this movie . 
now before you go assuming i'm some sort of high brow snob , who can't appreciate a little dumb humor , let me say that i love cheap humor . 
i thought there's something about mary was one of the funniest films that i have ever seen and it was certainly one of the best films of 1998 . 
low brow adolescent humor can be a lot of fun , the problem with the waterboy is that it is just low brow and adolescent , there is no humor component . 
i wanted to like the waterboy , i really did . 
i think i only laughed maybe 2 or 3 times throughout the entire movie . 
actually , i smiled a couple of more times on top of that . 
not a great record for a 90-minute film . 
the problem with the waterboy is the same as most other adam sandler movies . 
those responsible for this mess seem to think that the sheer fact that sandler walks around using a goofy voice and playing dumb the entire movie is a substitute for actual funny material . 
nothing could be further from the truth , as matter of fact , sandler's idiot voice started to get on my nerves at points in this film . 
it's really a shame too , because this film had the potential to be very funny . 
i personally believe that sandler is probably a very talented comedian , it's just that so far he hasn't been able to find the right film to showcase his talents . 
if his only talent is making goofy voices and playing morons , my guess is that his career in the movies will go down the same road as the vast majority of the former stars of saturday night live . 
most of whom are now happily no longer in the entertainment industry . 
sandler plays a 31-year-old , somewhat mentally challenged , waterboy for a college football team . 
the team's somewhat mentally disturbed coach ( henry winkler ) realizes that his waterboy has a great deal of pent-up rage , which , if harnessed properly , would make him a force to be reckoned with on the football field . 
you can figure out the rest from here . 
sandler joins the team and this once lowly waterboy becomes a football star . 
as i said , the film had a great deal of potential . 
the idea was a decent one , but the main potential of this movie is a result of the cast . 
all of whom are very good , just hamstrung by really , really , lousy material . 
even sandler , annoying goofy voice and all , has enough charisma and natural comedic ability to overcome some of his bad material . 
even as unfunny as his character is , i still found myself rooting for him throughout the film . 
but it is the supporting cast that i feel most badly about . 
if their material had been just a bit better , this film could have been such a funny movie . 
fairuza balk plays sandler's leather-wearing biker-chick love interest and does a great job playing sleazy and sexy at the same time . 
winkler is great as the coach who uses a "" coaching for dummies "" -style book to help him get through games . 
the real standout though , is kathy bates . 
even with some of the worst material of her career to deal with , she is still a treat to watch in her role as sandler's overprotective and overbearing mama . 
even with the performances of bates and winkler , there is absolutely no way i would recommend this movie . 
although i get the distinct impression that without them , this film would have ranked in negative numbers for me . 
which is sad , because i can't really put my finger on a particular element of the movie and single it out as the cause of the disaster that it became . 
it's obvious that those involved , specifically the actors , tried very hard to make what they thought was going to be a funny movie . 
it's just too bad that 99 percent of all of the jokes fell flat . 
"
"-1","gordie boggs ( arquette , aptly cast as a moron , as he is one ) and his best friend sean dawkins ( scott caan . 
the son of james caan should not be reduced to garbage like this ! ) are two losers from wyoming with no jobs and no girlfriends , who look up to world championship wrestling champion jimmy king ( a terribly casted oliver platt ) , as he is everything they are not . 
they finally get to see him live and he is screwed out of his title by the evil , ruthless promoter titus sinclair ( a wasted palitaliano , in a role originally meant for real-life wcw president eric bischoff , whose name was written all over the role ! ) . 
gordie and sean track down king in atlanta and discover that he is not really the english king the wcw writers created for him , but a drunken , ignorant southerner who is as irritated by these two lunkheads as bob newhart was by larry , darryl , and darryl . 
they sneak him back onto wcw tv , after which sinclair agrees to book him in a steel cage match in las vegas at wcw's next pay-per-view , against his rival , diamond dallas page . 
if he wins , king gets his title and his career back , plus one million dollars . 
wcw president eric bischoff , knowing his promotion was desperate with bad writing and ratings skyrocketing down thanks to the far superior world wrestling federation , came up with the idea for this movie hoping it would save wcw . 
he was then fired and rehired two months ago , but by the time he'd left , they had already been contracted to do the film , and bischoff could not play sinclair ( which , in itself , is for the best , as anybody who has seen him on wcw programming knows that bischoff is no actor ! ) . 
the characters of gordie and sean show you exactly what eric bischoff thinks of his fans . 
he thinks of them as young , dumb pathetic idiots who will believe anything that will be put out in front of them is real . 
that is why he doesn't take the fans into consideration when he books a nitro or a pay-per-view . 
i have news for you , eric : no wrestling fan in this day and age is dumb enough to believe that professional wrestling isn't for show , unless they are four years old . 
this is 2000 , you know , not 1985 . 
bischoff will try to cover up criticism like that by saying it is a comedy , but i have no doubt in my mind that if this had been a dramatic , rocky-style film ( which it probably should have been . 
professional wrestling is ridiculed enough as it is , why should the first wrestling movie in ten years be a comedy ? ) , gordie and sean would have been portrayed in the same light . 
anybody who has seen the documentary wrestling with shadows , documenting wwf owner vince mcmahon's double-crossing of bret hart , will probably realize via the reviews and previews of ready to rumble , that it is basically a rip-off of that film's storyline with the poor man's wayne and garth thrown in for comedic affect . 
you can tell titus sinclair is supposed to poke fun at vince , but any self-respecting wrestling fan knows that sinclair is more inspired by bischoff than vince , and that vince did what he had to do to bret hart . 
all of these aspects of the film , needless to say , seriously offended me as a wrestling fan . 
another thing i found disturbing about the film was the romance between gordie and nitro girl sasha ( the lovely rose mcgowan ) . 
wouldn't it have been easier to bring something new into the relationship rather than revealing she was only working on gordie at sinclair's insistance ? 
i hate that cliche ! 
the world wrestling federation would have made a better film . 
they are the promotion everyone cares about , they are winning the ratings , they have better wrestlers , and they take their fans into consideration and don't treat fans like morons . 
so , vince , how about a movie ? 
"
"-1","when i arrived in paris in june , 1992 , i was surprised to find france plastered with posters twin peaks : fire walk with me , since the movie wasn't scheduled to open in the u . s . until late august . 
happily , the film--the prequel to david lynch's cult television series--was playing in a fancy , thx theater . 
unfortunately , the theater was far more impressive than the movie , which absolutely stinks , much like a french lavatory . 
worse , actually . 
fire walk with me ( directed by lynch ) will be completely incomprehensible to anyone who has not seen the tv series or read "" laura palmer's secret diary . "" 
for "" twin peaks "" junkies , like me , the movie is only marginally improved . 
the plot is jumbled and illogical , not to mention excruciatingly sluggish . 
the first 30 minutes , which have almost nothing to do with the main story line , feature chris isaak and kiefer sutherland as fbi agents investigating a murder in portland , oregon . 
the movie then stops in philadelphia for a nonsensical cameo by david bowie and a brief appearance by kyle maclachlan as dale cooper . 
lynch then drops this plot strand altogether and abruptly shifts the setting to twin peaks , washington--one year later . 
ah , twin peaks : "" familiar territory , "" you think to yourself as angelo badalamenti's distinctive musical score chimes in . 
wrong ! 
the movie proves that you really can't go home again , or at least lynch can't . 
only about a quarter of the characters from the tv series appear in the movie : leland palmer , bobby briggs , james , shelly , leo , the log lady and a few others--mostly in meaningless cameos . 
the rest of the "" twin peaks "" cast is nowhere to be seen , and consequently , lynch fails to recreate the spirit and flavor of tv's most enigmatic town . 
cast members michael ontkean , sherilyn fenn , piper laurie , and richard beymer are sorely missed , not to mention lara flynn boyle , who has been replaced by lackluster moira kelly in the crucial role of donna . 
the movie concentrates solely on laura palmer ( sheryl lee ) as she suffers through drug abuse , prostitution , and incest , during her miserable last seven days on earth . 
the night of laura's death , which is truly terrifying , is the film's only remotely effective sequence . 
we finally get to see exactly what happened to laura after she jumped off james' motorcycle and ran into the woods at that lonely traffic light in the middle of nowhere . 
her murder unfolds just as agent cooper reconstructed it in the tv series , which is gratifying for faithful "" twin peaks "" viewers . 
but it's an awfully small reward for sitting through a painfully awful movie . 
"
"-1","capsule : this super-light situation comedy from sweden tells the story of two close friends with romantic problems . 
the script involves formerly taboo subjects like erotic toys and sexual enhancers but otherwise the writing is not a lot different from what is shown free on television . 
the characters are paper-thin and the interesting ideas purely non-existent . 
this is a decrement-life-by-90-minutes card . 
 , 0 ( -4 to +4 ) 
jalla ! jalla ! 
is basically an exuberant tv situation comedy written instead for the wide screen . 
it tells the story of two park custodians and the problems they are finding on the path to true love . 
the film is set in sweden where roro and mans ( fares fares and torkel petersson ) are custodians at a public park . roro is from a tightly knit lebanese family who control him very closely , mans is a swede from a much more liberal background . 
they spend most of the day in the bushes at their park , cleaning up after dogs . 
roro and mans each have girlfriends , but each has a problem . 
roro ( nicknamed "" jalla "" ) is having family problems . 
it seems that his family wants to arrange a marriage between him and a nice lebanese woman , yasmin ( laleh pourkarim ) , but he is already in love with lisa ( tuva novotny ) . 
yasmin likes roro , but does not want to get married either . 
mans on the other hand has been having a problem of sexual impotence . 
the two friends worry about their problems and discuss the problems with each other . 
mans thinks the answer to his problem is to purchase sexual enhancers . 
the one catch is that he is too shy to go in and buy them . 
roro and yasmin decide to give themselves some time by telling the families that they want to marry each other , but then plan to break up before the wedding . 
not too surprisingly neither finds that his idea works out the way he quite expected . 
the plot turns in several places are contrived . 
one knows fairly quickly that if things are going to work our happily for everybody certain plot contrivances have to happen . 
lebanese-born josef fares who wrote and directed is perhaps a better director than he is a writer . 
when things start to get slow , he just adds throws in another story . 
for example halfway into the film mans innocently antagonizes some local toughs and a long chase is added to the film . 
characterization is a little better with roro than it is with mans who does not seem to have a whole lot more personality beyond fear for losing a biological function . 
we do see some of roro's family life and his concerns . 
that may be because roro's background is a lot like that of the director . 
while the story was entertaining , i did not feel that i got anything worthwhile from the film . 
it was just a way to pass about an hour and a half in my life . 
one does not have to go to the movies to see entertainment like this . 
i rate it a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"-1","remember tom cruise and brian brown as rival bartenders juggling bottles of booze in "" cocktail "" ? 
remember how stupid that looked ? 
and remember the scantily-clad dancers of "" flashdance "" getting doused with buckets of water ? 
well , "" coyote ugly "" does those films five better ( or six better if you count john goodman ) , since here we have piper perado , maria bello , tyra banks , melanie lynskey , and izabella miko doing the absolut spinning and jiggling thing while pouring pitchers of perrier all over their semi-naked torsos . 
no , goodman doesn't flip jim beams or wear anything particularly risqu ? in the film but he * does * get up on the bar and start gyrating with the rest of them . 
and the central character's love interest , played by an australian actor named adam garcia , proves * he * can get up on that bar and start shimmying along with the rest of them too . 
what seems to have started life as a victoria's secret photo shoot quickly deteriorates into one heck of an embarrassing movie . 
violet ( perado ) is a south amboy hopeful who tries to make it big as a songwriter ( not a welder ) in new jack city . 
as na ? ve as they come , she's fobbed off by music producer's receptionists by the scorn-ful and has her apartment robbed hours after touching down in chinatown . 
and , like her mother before her , she gets stage fright whenever she tries to do the open mike night thing . 
when she sees a trio of babe-a-licious barkeeps thumbing through a stack of $20s in an all-night diner , violet simply has to check out this bar they call coyote ugly . 
lil ( bello ) , the no-nonsense owner , agrees to give violet an audition but violet blows it . 
still , lil gives violet another chance . 
a riot breaks out ( riots are the order of the day at 'ugly's , since the staff are relentless in flaunting their sexual wares , flambeeing the bar , and soaking the patrons with diet sprite--this is certifiable behavior in case i didn't mention it ) but violet successfully subdues the crowd by singing along to blondie's "" one way or another "" on the jukebox . 
she's hired ! 
and cured , since this little episode gives her the confidence to sing in an amateur talent contest where her dad ( goodman ) , the junk food-eating , laundry-impaired toll collector , comes to see her and is as proud as punch . 
the end . 
"
"-1","confucius once said , "" governing a nation is like cooking a small fish -- don't overdo it . "" 
his maxim might be easily applied to writing a comedy script , for quantity over quality is one of the worst mistakes an amateur scribe can make . 
granted , mike judge , writer-director of the workplace satire office space isn't exactly an amateur ( his most infamous work , the mtv series "" beavis and butt-head "" was pure gold for its network ) . 
but unfailingly , judge manages to make some rather inexcusable mistakes in office space by spreading an iffy plot over too much ground . 
the iffiness in judge's plot -- a group of coworkers plan the downfall of their despicable boss -- is not in its appeal . 
in fact , based on the popularity of scott adams' cartoon "" dilbert , "" which will soon have its own television series , a satirical view of the american workplace is a hot item in hollywood . 
unfortunately the concept lends itself to skit-length sequences which would be more at home on the set of "" saturday night live "" rather than a full-length feature . 
the most convincing evidence of this are the trailers for office space , which feature almost all of the movie's top content ; this leaves the actual picture appearing very deflated . 
other evidence of office space's failure to work are its lack of good jokes . 
the comedy is marginally funny at best , but not enough to get a packed house of theater-goers to laugh out loud . 
the material in the movie is on-key for an older demographic than judge is used to targeting , and this could partially explain his work here . 
however , the movie is loaded with too many misfires -- including the token plot -- to allow for any excuse . 
the plot centers around three or four cubicled engineers , headed up by peter gibbons ( ron livingston ) , at a company named initech . 
after the movie elaborately establishes the miserable working conditions at initech , the movie introduces us to two consultants ( john c . mcginley and paul willson ) which are in charge of "" downsizing "" the company's payroll . 
when peter and his gang learns of this , as well as the reason behind it -- so their smooth talking boss bill lumbergh ( gary cole ) 's stock will go up -- they set about creating a plan to see his downfall . 
the circumstances that follow were obviously intended to be hilarious but they come out as anything but . 
a sympathetic cast and a muddled jennifer aniston-as-love-interest subplot are all that keep this one together , but it's definitely missable in lieu of something more intelligent . 
"
"-1","it seemed like the perfect concept . 
what better for the farrelly brothers , famous for writing and directing comedies with offensive subject matter , than to make a movie about a guy with a split personality ? 
it's exactly the sort of thing the brothers relish : poking fun at something serious ( in this case mental illness ) , throwing all care to the wind to get a laugh . 
jim carrey's signed on too ? 
even better . 
the national alliance for the mentally ill even helped out by levying complaints against the brothers' new film before its opening , claiming it was misrepresenting the condition of split personality , labeling it incorrectly as "" schizophrenia , "" and so forth . 
such a protest seemed like just the sort of thing that would , of course , only add more fuel to the farrelly brothers' fire , proving that some people just couldn't take a joke , and that the farrellys would be helping the more enlightened viewers to yet another dose of their brilliantly subversive comedy . 
yes , it all seemed perfect , but one thing went wrong : their movie isn't funny . 
it's not for lack of trying . 
the farrellys utilize in "" me , myself & irene "" their most high-concept premise ever : carrey plays charlie baileygaites , a man who after being dumped by his wife for a midget limo driver , decides to bury all his aggressive feelings deep down inside and never release them . 
this , of course , means all his neighbors exploit his entirely too-forgiving nature , making his job as a rhode island state trooper increasingly difficult . 
soon enough , charlie's repressed aggression manifests itself into a second , independent personality named hank , a deep-voiced , boorish ogre unafraid of taking the assertive actions his predecessor had been unable to muster . 
this guy isn't above crashing a car through the wall of the barber shop in which he's been insulted , or holding a little girl's head underwater because she refused to stop jump-roping in the street . 
then things start getting lost in the most complicated plot the farrellys have ever attempted , and the film runs off its tracks . 
some have suggested that this isn't a problem , because the farrelly brothers' brand of humor doesn't require plot to work . 
they're wrong , of course : plot was greatly instrumental in building up the kind of rollicking comic energy that infused the farrellys' last effort , 1996's "" there's something about mary . "" 
 ( 1999's "" outside providence "" was technically an earlier project . ) 
the brothers' earlier film wasn't funny merely because it contained outrageous gags ( despite what some newsmagazine articles would have you believe ) , but rather because its most outrageous gags were entirely unexpected . 
in "" mary , "" the farrellys managed several times to pull off a neat sleight-of-hand trick : they'd have you thinking the story was going one way , then reveal its real direction in delightfully surprising fashion . 
 "" me , myself & irene , "" by contrast , seems to have been made by folks who looked at "" mary "" and saw only the surface grossness , missing all of the subtle machinations that really made it work . 
having been produced by the same guys who made "" mary , "" "" irene "" seems like an even bigger disappointment . 
the brothers pile on the offensive humor , taking shots at race , midgets , albinos , mental illness , and all manner of bathroom jokes . 
but they haven't come up with a way to make any of it fresh ; most of "" me , myself & irene "" comes off as rote , by-the-numbers , adolescent comedy . 
the plot , with carrey forced to drive alleged fugitive irene p . waters ( renee zellweger ) , who's in more trouble than anyone knows , back to new york , has an ending that's entirely predictable from the get-go . 
 ( think charlie and irene will fall in love ? 
yeah , me too . ) 
the farrellys then introduce scores of different characters , and none of them ever manage to do anything you haven't already expected them to do , no matter how outrageous their actions might be . 
compared to the curveballs the farrellys are used to throwing , this stuff is almost entirely soft-tossed , presenting an obvious problem : when gross-out humor loses its shock value , it's no longer funny , merely gross . 
the jokes that do work are milked over and over until their effectiveness runs dry . 
take , for example , the subplot involving charlie's three black sons ( anthony anderson , mongo brownlee , jerod mixon ) . 
the incongruity of it all is funny for a while , with three burly black men discussing higher math in ghetto language and white-bread carrey mouthing said language with an entirely too-pleasant smile on his face . 
but by the end of the film , they're still doing the same schitck ; it hasn't been elevated to another , funnier level , and it hasn't been dropped either . 
that's too bad , because it ceases to be amusing about halfway through . 
 "" me , myself & irene "" reeks of wasted opportunities . 
there ought to be more focus on how other people react to charlie's new personality , and on how charlie deals with the consequences of hank's actions . 
this doesn't really happen ; nearly every supporting character learns about charlie's condition early on , so they don't have any opportunity to be surprised by it . 
the film throws what looks like a patented farrelly curve in a scene towards the midway point ( involving an albino companion charlie and irene pick up called , appropriately , "" whitey "" ) , but the script doesn't go anywhere with it , instead leaving the thread twisting in the wind before awkwardly tying it up during the climax . 
jim carrey is a gifted comedian , both physically and vocally , but he's left with nothing much to do here except contort himself in a manner similar to steve martin in "" all of me . "" 
it's a great showcase of flexibility and split-second role-shifting , but none of it is terribly funny . 
carrey doesn't pull any stunts we don't expect him to pull , and the farrellys' script doesn't give him anything else to pull : the situations in which he must perform the role-shifting aren't set up in any meaningful way . 
perhaps carrey can take solace in the fact that his supporting actors fare no better . 
zellweger's irene is not a strong female lead ; mary in "" mary "" may have been part adolescent fantasy , but she was also intelligent and strong-willed . 
irene is nothing in particular , as the film never makes clear whether she's ditzy , clever , or neither . 
as such , she gives us nothing to latch onto as the only "" sane "" person in the film . 
chris cooper is stuck playing exactly one note as a corrupt fbi agent , and his character is entirely too straight-laced for a movie like this . 
he , like the others , does absolutely nothing unexpected . 
after viewing the shapeless mess that "" me , myself & irene "" eventually dissolved into , i was stuck wondering whether or not the farrellys had outsmarted themselves . 
maybe their kind of comedy can only work for so long until audiences get wise to it and stop being shocked . 
but i don't believe it -- good filmmakers find ways of surprising their audiences even after people have grown attuned to their style . 
if the farrellys are indeed good , smart filmmakers ( and i still think they are ) , they'll rebound just fine . 
even after that happens , though , i'll still consider "" me , myself & irene "" to be a high-caliber misfire . 
"
"-1","there's a scene somewhere in this film where one of the characters reads the book "" screenwriting made easy . "" 
this is funny the first time just 'cause it is , but funnier as the film goes on since it's totally ironic since the screenwriters of this inane film probably read it , outlined it and then wrote this film . 
it's like they took the sub-genre of the disaster pic , which can be fun and hokey at the same time , and then forgot one of the greatest parts of them : the stupid , eccentric characters . 
yes , "" the poseidon adventure "" is crap , but it's fun 'cause of all the stupid , eccentric characters . 
and "" earthquake , "" my god ! 
 "" earthquake "" has got to be one of the worst movies of all time , but at least they had the joke of having charlton heston sleeping with genevieve bujold . 
 "" volcano "" takes a semi-intriguing yet stupendously inane plot ( a volcano no one knew about suddenly errupts one fine morning and then erupts again later then stops . . . only 
it's in , dare i say it ? 
l . a ! ! ! ) and then puts no stupid , stereotypical , eccentric characters in it . 
they're just stupid . 
and the actors are all good ones . 
tommy lee jones is great , an oscar winner , and a member of the men in black ( my vote for what should be the coolest movie of the summer ) . 
anne heche is a good indy actress . 
don cheadle stole the disappointing "" devil in a blue dress "" from denzel's feet . 
and gaby's one of the few good teenage actors . 
but they get nothing to do but act dumb and scream at what's going on . 
they do their best , god bless them , but they're all lost in the fake magma ( only don cheadle gets an interesting part and he's the greatest part of the film ) . 
there's no real suspense here 'cause you don't care about anyone . 
i actually was rooting for gaby's character to get killed so tommy lee jones wouldn't have to keep saving her ( he did it like thirty times ! ) . 
and there are no interesting sites in l . a . that we see get destroyed . 
part of the fun of disaster films is watching sites get toppled or destroyed or whatever . 
in "" independence day , "" the best part ( other than judd hirsch ) was watching the white house and empire state building get blown up by the aliens . 
that was cool . 
watching really fake-looking magma plow down the street is not . 
okay , so the film's not devoid of merit . 
as i already stated , don cheadle was great and the cast does their best . 
and there's this really moronic scene which looks cool . 
john carrol lynch ( norm from "" fargo "" ) goes on a subway car to save people but the lava comes and surrounds it . 
he has one guy who's wounded and could make it . 
he could throw the guy and jump and still survive . 
but no ! ! ! 
he has to go and inanely jump and land right in the middle of the lava . 
here's the cool sight : he melts . 
here's the dumb part of it : he somehow manages to throw the man to safety as his legs are melting . 
cool sight . 
no logic . 
but cool sight . 
the volcano erupts twice and for some reason , the film ends there . 
they aren't worried about it eruting again , they just go home to their toppled homes . 
but to tell the truth , i was glad they didn't go on . 
i was hoping the film was over after the first eruption ended . 
my god , it was actually painful to sit through this little 102 minute long film . 
i haven't seen "" dante's peak "" but i've heard it's a masterpiece compared to this . 
if you want to see a cool disaster flick that's inane but interesting , rent "" the towering inferno "" with steve mcqueen , paul newman , and the schweppervescent o . j . 
simpson ( he saves a cat ) . 
if you want to waste your time watching a boring , stupid disaster flick ( literally , it almost grossed half of its budget ) , see this . 
but i warned you . 
"
"-1","the yet-to-be-released krippendorf's tribe is being marketed as a family comedy , but buyer beware . 
this movie can't make up its mind . 
is it a family comedy with vulgar references to both the male and female bodies , menstruation , circumcision , and sex that would make any parents squirm at the thought of having their child next to them ? 
or is it an adult comedy approached with such immaturity that only adolescents will appreciate the effort ? 
either way , "" unbalanced "" is the word to stamp on this hit and miss and miss and miss effort . 
the premise is catchy - widowed anthropology professor james krippendorf ( richard dreyfuss ) has spent the past two years "" getting over "" the death of his wife , neglecting key research and squandering grant money on personal living expenses . 
now it's time to show what he's achieved in those two years , and he has absolutely nothing to show for it . 
with a fabricated tale of studying a previously undiscovered tribe in new guinea , krippendorf petitions for new funds while hiding the fact that the previous $100 , 000 grant was spent on trips to mcdonald's . 
but when his "" discovery "" becomes the latest craze among colleagues , the professor finds he must do more than talk about the tribe - he must create it . 
with the aid of his three children , the headstrong teen shelly ( natasha lyonne of everyone says i love you ) , the slightly younger mickey ( gregory smith ) , and the nine-year-old edmund ( carl michael lindner ) , the "" shelmikedmu "" tribe ( named from the first half of each child's name ) is born , and videos quickly produced in krippendorf's backyard are passed off as stunning documentary footage of the newly found new guinea tribe . 
despite the professor's wishes , the buzz surrounding his discovery only grows , due in greatest part to veronica micelli ( jenna elfman ) , an overly vivacious ( and voluptuous ) anthropologist who barges her way into the discovery and basically deems herself krippendorf's main assistant . 
hungry for recognition , micelli sets up interviews , lectures , etc . in an effort to make this the biggest sociological event in history , a sure fire way to go down in the history books . 
krippendorf , on the other hand , is seeing himself go down a jail cell corridor , not in history books , and with each new lecture , he must come up with something impressive to unleash about the tribe - mating habits , domestic structure , etc . thru fumbling improvisation , and often some quick thinking from his oldest son , krippendorf makes it thru each new lecture , but only creates more and more interest in the highly unique tribe . 
on the opposing end is krippendorf's arch rival , ruth allen ( lily tomlin ) , an arrogant professor whose jealousy drives her on a mission to disprove the existance of the non-existent tribe . 
it's a cute idea , and approached with a more subtle ( and mature ) style , krippendorf's tribe could've been a real winner . 
sadly , the mostly-misfired toilet humor , overly comical musical score ( by bruce broughton ) , and sugar coated sentiments ( all the key ingredients of a "" family comedy "" ) just aren't the right tone for this film . 
cut that crap out , add some razor sharp dialogue and witty sociological perceptions and you've got a good start . 
at the state it's in now , you've got something along the lines of medicine man meets mrs . 
doubtfire meets dumb & dumber , and that's not a concoction anyone should be overly anxious to try . 
the overall product here is a highly forgettable cup of "" average "" , with a few laugh-out-loud moments and a great big gap in between them . 
most of the characters are surprisingly two-dimensional , and the only one who seems to exhibit any real acting effort ( lyonne ) seems to go greatly unappreciated . 
director todd holland has gone about making this film in all the wrong ways . 
it's stuck in limbo between disney family fare ( jungle 2 jungle ) and potentially hilarious adult comedy ( a fish called wanda ) . 
it's this unbalanced structure that really knocks it down a grade , and it's a brutal drop . 
a strong warning to parents : forget the impression given by advertisements , do you want to take your kids to a film that has a woman asking a man if he finds her attractive merely because she's holding his penis ? 
yes , it's put that bluntly ! 
just be warned - this is merely one example of the many shocking subjects to be brought up in the film , and others might not be as tame . 
"
"-1","it's been hours since i returned from the much anticipated sci-fi opus `mission to mars' , and i can still detect the reek of moldy cheddar . 
why ? 
the movie is a shoddy cheesefest full of digital eye candy , stapled carelessly onto a flimsy screenplay which somehow manages to leapfrog the great promise of a space opera , instead shooting for the angle of a feel-good science fiction drama more akin to `2001 : a space odyssey' . 
i got the feeling that most of my fellow movie-going patrons were expecting another `armageddon' . 
but no , `mission to mars' certainly isn't one large action sequence about colossal disaster . 
this is a supposedly thoughtful , family-friendly space flick in which the apocalyptic excitement takes a back seat to visual elegance and uplifting drivel . 
you have been warned . 
of course , crafting a tightly claustrophobic space drama is not impossible ( see `apollo 13' for an excellent example ) , but few directors possess the skill and craftsmanship to pull it off without seriously scarring their reputation . 
brian de palma has enough directorial expertise and visual wizardry up his sleeve to pull it off . 
when he gets his hands on an intelligent , systematically practical script like `the untouchables' or `mission : impossible' , the director has the ability to create a sound technical achievement ( although his overly indulgent style becomes bothersome more than occasionally ) . 
of course , there's also the inexcusable string of crap that has carried his name ( including `snake eyes' and the notorious bomb `the bonfire of the vanities' ) . . . . 
all of which makes me want to call de palma the most talented hack in hollywood . 
that term may be too harsh , but if i were judging him solely on the perpetual waste of talent that is `mission to mars' , my choice of words would have been slightly less lenient . 
if i were gary sinise , i wouldn't touch de palma with a 10-foot pole . 
sinise is a wonderful , wonderful actor , but after appearing in `snake eyes' and this vomit-inducing sham , i'm sure he wouldn't want to risk the embarrassment of a third collaboration . 
the academy award-winner plays nasa astronaut jim mcconnell , a man who recently lost his wife ( kim delaney ) and is apparently psychologically unfit for an upcoming space shuttle mission to mars ( oops , forgot to mention the year - 2020 ) . 
after a barbecue get-together for the astronauts , we cut to luc goddard ( don cheadle ) and his team , who are already taking measurements and calculations on the red planet . 
suddenly , a towering formation of rocks and soil - probably best dubbed a `sand tornado' - appears and creates a whirlwind of suction . 
for some reason , the astronauts just stand there calmly to admire this , as if it were a lovely piece of art . 
the team is killed within seconds , expect for luc , who was able to send one final transmission and may still be alive . 
immediately , a second mission - consisting of astronauts mcconnell , husband and wife woody and terri blake ( tim robbins and connie nielsen ) and phil ohlmyer ( jerry o'connell ) - are dispatched to rescue luc and discover the mysterious secret of planet mars . 
let's put the `secret' on hold for now , and discuss the trip there . 
it is explained , whether scientifically accurate or not ( probably not ) , that a trip to mars takes roughly six months . 
i'm not sure why the quartet of screenwriters behind `m2m' didn't capitalize on this juicy opportunity of creating tension and claustrophobia . 
instead , we join the team during their final days aboard the ship . 
what happened during the five months prior to this ? 
did they just play cards and tell dirty jokes ? 
still , there are few nicely tense moments ( maybe the only in the movie ) during the time-frame involving a fuel leak . 
depalma's direction is quite good in these scenes , although the score by ennio morricone is largely inconsistent ( organ music in space ? 
c'mon ) . 
there's a few good , imaginative ideas in the landslide of cheese , a sad realization that causes me to sigh out loud . 
it's a colossal bummer that `mission to mars' is poorly assembled and laughably written , with a dubious and supremely silly finale that will only satisfy dedicated optimists . 
as mentioned before , anyone looking for some disaster-movie carnage is going to feel savagely disappointed . . . 
maybe even cheated . 
after the unbelievably hokey final shot ( with the words ? the end' somehow adding insult to injury ) , a few audience members made the effort to boo and hiss at the screen . 
others muttered obscenities , shaking their heads in disbelief while mumbling `jeez , that sucked . ' 
okay , it did suck . 
but you have to show the actors some sympathetic mercy . . . 
after all , they do pretty well . 
sinise is sincere and effective in many of his scenes , robbins and nielsen wholeheartedly convince as a loving nasa couple , and funnyman o'connell - well , he has a couple lines are actually amusing ( and intentionally so ) . 
the digital effects accompanying the sand tornado sequence are quite impressive . 
so , by golly , where did this `mission' go wrong ? 
looking back on the appalling experience , i would say in practically every conduit and crevasse it could have . 
while watching `mission to mars' , my suggestion would be to immediately abort , or better yet , don't even strap yourself in for lift-off . 
"
"-1","despite its exceedingly well-done visual effects , 1995's original species was one big hunk of sci-fi cheese , from the writing to the feeble performances . 
so , coming from such b-grade roots , its sequel's stunning ineptitude is not terribly surprising , yet at the same time it is . 
it would not have been difficult at all for the people behind species ii to top the hokey original , yet they have somehow managed to fabricate something just as bad , if not even worse . 
something is clearly amiss when the back door left open for a sequel in species--a sewer rat becomes not quite of this earth after eating a body part from the exploded alien/human hybrid sil--is never entered into ( perhaps that was left for species iii--though i'm not giving away anything when i say that this installment has an open back door of its own ) . 
the alien fun and games begin this time when a three-person astronaut crew returning from mars inadvertently carries within their soil samples deadly alien dna that eventually infects the mission captain , patrick ross ( justin lazard , late of cbs's short-lived soap of a few years back , central park west/cpw ) . 
this alien dna is not identical to that which created the original film's sil , but it's close enough , and upon arrival on earth patrick is mating like crazy , engaging in bloody sex with just about every woman he can find . 
meanwhile , scientist dr . laura baker ( the returning marg helgenberger ) has created a clone of sil named eve ( natasha henstridge again ) for research purposes . 
it doesn't take long for eve to sense another alien presence , which send her libido into hyperdrive . 
it's up to laura and her former partner , bounty hunter press lennox ( michael madsen , another returnee ) ; and patrick's uninfected shipmate dennis gamble ( mykelti williamson ) to find patrick before the in-heat eve does . 
 "" this isn't the x-files , goddammit ! "" 
exclaims one character in the early going . 
in terms of quality , he's absolutely right , but he's also wrong . 
the new alien first appears as an otherworldly oozing sludge that causes patrick's pupils to dilate once he's infected . 
looks and sounds an awful lot like the x-files's "" black cancer "" to me . 
but that's not the only source director peter medak and writer chris brancato steal from . 
species was already a ripoff of alien , but medak makes the cribbing much more blatant than the original's director , roger donaldson , did . 
human patrick is given a tongue that also has a tongue within itself , and his alien form more closely resembles the alien than eve's alien body ( which ironically was designed by alien designer h . r . giger ) . 
a large alien hive that our heros douse with a substance fired from large guns ? 
aliens sans flamethrowers . 
the visual effects were by far the best thing about species , and the sequel's effects crew at steve johnson's xfx inc . keeps that high-quality tradition alive ; no cheap-looking lost in space cgi here . 
after the effects , the original's best asset was the fresh presence of henstridge . 
however , medak and brancato have no idea what exactly to do with her for this installment . 
at one point she's called on to play alien "" empath "" ? la forest whitaker in the original , but for most of the duration she's holed up in a glass cell . 
by the time the big breakout so prominently featured in the trailer actually takes place , the film is well into its home stretch . 
so the rest of the time we are treated to patrick , played with little zest by lazard . 
one problem with the first film was that the deadly , horny , but innocent-at-heart sil was too sympathetic ; no such problem with patrick , who comes off as a cocky pretty boy before the alien takes control . 
the rest of the cast also fails to add much , but the writing can be faulted for that . 
helgenberger and madsen go through the motions , but they are already hampered by the clich ? d development that somewhere between the two films , the once-linked laura and press stopped getting along . 
williamson suffers the worst indignity . 
he tries his best to enliven the token african-american role , but how can anyone recite insulting , derivative lines such as "" i'm gonna get african on someone's ass "" and not appear ridiculous ? 
but species ii's worst crime is being a thoroughly uninteresting piece of work . 
at least the original featured plenty to laugh at--unaccountably awful performances by the otherwise fine actors ben kingsley and whitaker , and the sight of helgenberger's character performing fellatio on madsen's , for a start . 
but the filmmakers do not display any discernable effort at all , let alone the misguided effort that is required for something to reach the camp level . 
for all the blood and gore , nudity , and sex thrown in , species ii is , quite simply , a vapid bore . 
"
"-1","the marvelous british actor derek jacobi stars in writer and director john maybury's love is the devil about the popular modern artist francis bacon . 
as always , jacobi's acting is impeccable , but the movie tries hard and succeeds at being unentertaining and opaque . 
the movie convincingly argues that francis , played by jacobi , was a completely despicable and vain individual , but it never provides any insight into his work or any motivation for his attitude . 
when interviewed by a fawning talk show host , francis calls his style "" chance brushstrokes . "" 
starting with a burglary of francis's flat , the film uses loud sound effects that sound like they were lifted from a cheap horror movie . 
the camera shots are heavy on the avant-garde angles -- lots of wide-angle close-ups and distorted shots filmed through colored-glass reflections . 
the director is much more interested in filmmaking style than in the substance of the story with the result being a sterile examination of a lonely and vain man . 
daniel craig , in a lifeless performance , plays the burglar and boxer , george dyer . 
when francis lays eyes on him after the break-in , francis promises not to call the police if he'll stay for sex . 
he stays for the entire movie but never respects the man with whom he shares a bed . 
he thinks that francis's paintings have "" no bloody use , "" and the movie presents no counterargument . 
writer maybury barely outlines francis's character , and george and the rest of the supporting cast remain a complete enigma . 
we learn little of george other than francis's reason for liking him -- george's "" amorality and innocence . "" 
francis's love of sadomasochism is shown early and often . 
 "" boxing is such a marvelous aperitif for sex , "" he reflects to george on the way to watch a boxing match . 
as the fighter's head is sliced open with a heavy blow , the camera cuts to a gleeful francis whose own head is soaked by the flying blood . 
francis appears to be in complete ecstasy . 
another of francis's favorite activities is viewing old movies of atrocities . 
as the carnage mounts , we witness an orgasmically happy francis in the audience . 
in a film that tries obsessively to shock , one dream sequence portrays a family in a car accident . 
francis's mind slowly examines every bloody limb of the mother , the father , and the boy . 
sometimes the script throws us tidbits of francis's wisdom which illuminate little while merely sounding insightful . 
 ( "" i'm optimistic by nature . 
i'm optimistic about nothing . "" 
 "" loneliness is my only true companion . "" ) 
we learn more details about francis's makeup techniques than about the man himself . 
he prefers shoe polish for his hair and sink cleaning powder for his teeth . 
full of metaphorical interpretations , the film's best scene occurs late one night when george has to get up to go to the bathroom . 
mistaking francis's picture of a toilet for the genuine article , he urinates on it and then crawls back into bed contentedly . 
like a parody of a bad art house movie , love is the devil has horrid characters filmed bizarrely and confusingly by a director who is much more interested in technique than storytelling . 
by the end , the audience hasn't learned any more than it could have in a three-minute sketch . 
love is the devil runs 1 : 30 . 
the film is not rated but should be considered nc-17 for violence , profanity , graphic sex , nudity and sadomasochism and is unacceptable for most teenagers . 
"
"-1"," "" payback , "" brian helgeland's inauspicious directing debut ( coincidentally , he previously penned the award-winning screenplay for 1997's "" l . a . confidential "" ) , is a wildly uneven and thoroughly unpleasant revenge thriller that takes one idea---a movie with non-stop violence , death , and villains---and runs with it , or should i say , barely manages to crawl away with it . 
mel gibson , in yet another disappointing picture ( "" conspiracy theory "" and "" lethal weapon 4 , "" anyone ? ) , stars as the reprehensible villain/hero , porter , a man who becomes determined to get his 50% share of $140 , 000 , which he stole in a robbery , back when his partner-in-crime ( gregg henry ) and drug-addicted wife ( deborah kara unger ) double-cross him , shoot him , and leave him for dead . 
porter is not dead , however---not by a long shot---as he quickly rehabilitates and , along with his loyal prositute girlfriend , rosie ( maria bello ) , sets out to make everyone involved in the scam pay . 
the tagline for "" payback "" is , "" get ready to root for the bad guy , "" and sure enough , this is true , as pretty much every significant character who appears is crooked in some way . 
i wouldn't have a problem with this offbeat detail if the painfully thin story had been of any interest , but it wasn't , and therefore , i found myself having an especially laborious time investing myself into a wide array of character that have absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever . 
no attempt is made to flesh the roles into three-dimensional characters , and there are no vacant signs that anyone has any sort of humanity in them . 
just because the protagonist , a "" bad guy , "" is played by mel gibson doesn't mean i will "" root for him , "" and i didn't . 
quite the contrary , every person in the movie deserved to die a gory death ( although some of them did , anyway , just to spice up the dull proceedings ) . 
since none of the respectable actors in "" payback "" actually have human beings to play , only one performance managed to stand out . 
lucy alexis liu ( of t . v . 's "" ally mcbeal "" ) , who plays a spicy s&m dominatrix , brightens up every scene she is in , and has a definite flair for comedy , something i would have liked to have seen more of , since most of the humor fell with a resounding splat . 
meanwhile , gibson , who is perfectly fine here , sleepwalks through a role that is not the least bit challenging . 
unger , who made an impression in 1997's "" the game , "" is surprisingly wasted and it is difficult to see why she took such a part since she disappears ten minutes in , and only has two purproses : ( 1 ) to get high on heroin , and ( 2 ) because she plays a key part in an early flashback . 
finally , kris kristofferson appears in a throwaway role during the climax , and this unnecessary plot development sticks out like a sore thumb ( tellingly , he didn't appear in the original cut of the film , but was cast when extensive reshoots took place months later ) . 
like most action movies , the star often takes a licking but keeps on ticking . 
in the course of the 102-minute running time of "" payback , "" porter is shot three times in the back , hit by a van , beaten up , and has his feet smashed with a sledgehammer . 
and guess what ? 
not only does he survive the whole ordeal , but he is happy-go-lucky in the penultimate sequence ( and can still walk ! ) , 
even though he looks like he had recently substituted for a punching bag . 
 "" payback "" is not , in any way , an entertaining film , even though i am sure the makers hoped it would be with all the graphic carnage that goes on , but take away that violence and what you are basically left with is a blank screen . 
perhaps director helgeland would have been smart to consider this , so he could have at least added a few worthwhile elements , like a fresh storyline and characters whom you could even remotely stand to be around for a few hours . 
"
"-1","did i do something bad ? 
i must have , because sitting through this movie was sheer punishment . 
here's the plot . 
ricky ( jeff goldblum ) is producer of the good-buy network , one of those 24-hour home shopping channels . 
the new boss ( robert loggia ) plans to can ricky's behind if he doesn't turn the previous months' flat sales numbers around , and to add to his problems , ricky also has to work with kate ( kelly preston ) , the ivy league wunderkind whom the boss has brought with him . 
kate and ricky don't get along and don't have any great ideas until they meet g ( eddie murphy ) , a spiritualist who sees something positive in everything . 
his soothing voice and simple logic makes people feel good , and it's this quality that will make g the new gbn television star and the key to the network's success . 
the first problem is a flaw in the plot . 
sure , g makes people feel good . 
sure , we're told that most people feel guilty after buying an impulse item , no matter how wealthy they might be , and i'll even believe that g talks a talk that allows people to feel good about what they've bought . 
but , hey , that's after they've bought it . 
why do sales skyrocket the first time g is on camera ? 
far from trying to sell the product , g instead blathers on about how you don't even need the thing . 
someone please tell me how this is supposed to move merchandise in the first place . 
you might say that people feel good about what they've bought , so they come back and by more , but due to the simple fact that the first round of sales in inexplicable , i'm not convinced this is what the filmmakers had in mind . 
the whole movie is therefore seriously undermined because the key point in the plot is never credible . 
another problem is in the humor . 
you know , if you see that eddie murphy is in a movie , i think it is not unreasonable for you to expect that the film is a comedy . 
whoa , partner , are you in for a surprise . 
holy man is not funny . 
murphy , the one asset you'd think this movie has ( remember how they brought him in at the last minute to save best defense ? 
- then again , maybe you don't ) is seriously reigned in . 
the script gives him almost nothing to work with , and it seems as though director stephen herek kept him toned down so that the other actors in the film wouldn't be left as window dressing . 
there's only one moment in the film where murphy is allowed to let loose , and it lasts for three shouted words , which seem totally out of place as a result . 
pathetic . 
in all , there are about three jokes that work in the entire picture , and they're not even that great . 
as a side note , there are some cameo appearances such as dan marino pitching a contraption which allows you to cook off of your car engine , and james brown introducing a medic-alert device that shouts "" help me ! "" 
just like the hardest working man in show business at the push of a button , but these never cause your personal laugh-o-meter to rise above the level of mild bemusement . 
 "" well , "" you ask , "" surely there must be some convincing performances to make up for the lack of humor . "" 
think again , buckwheat . 
jeff goldblum disappoints . 
kelly preston is flat ( but not like that ) . 
robert loggia , in the kind of role for which he has been virtually typecast , can't do anything with it . 
the script is part of the problem , but these actors don't even look like they believe in the move they're making . 
they look a lot like they're bored . 
just like the audience . 
so what do you have when the humor is absent from your comedy , and the acting is like the siberian steppes ? 
a film that drags more than a dropped anchor . 
but wait ! 
as if these problems don't make the film slow enough , the screenplay's pacing makes the movie even slower ! 
it takes the entire first half hour to establish the movie's premise , then more time as the film wades through a tortuous ( and seemingly mandatory ) romance between ricky and kate , and a sub-plot involving a conniving pr man ( eric mccormack ) who wants to discredit g and take over ricky's job as producer . 
when the pr guy's plan is foiled , the film is climaxes , we're treated to that little epilogue , and then we can all go home , right ? 
wrong . 
the movie goes on for another half hour ! 
continental drift is the indy 500 compared to the pace of holy man ! 
the only thing holy about holy man will surely be the number of people exclaiming "" holy ! @#% that movie was awful ! "" 
this one is for the truly pious . 
"
"-1","plot : something about a bunch of kids going into a haunted house and playing out parodies of other horror and non-horror movies . 
oh yeah , there's also something about a ghost possessing the mansion and shit , but trust me , you won't care much about the "" plot "" in this film . . . 
critique : parody movies either work or they don't and this one just doesn't work ! 
the laughs aren't as pronounced this time around , the energy level , the gags and all of the characters just seem to be going through the motions here . 
it's like they were all in a hurry to finish the film or something ( wink , wink ) . 
and the scariest part of it all ? 
check out the number of screenwriters it took to pen this puppy : seven ! 
i say again , it took seven people to write 82-minutes worth of fart jokes , half-assed stunts and spoofs of films other than horror . 
now i'm not exactly sure if each of the writers wrote their own parts separately or just tossed "" funny sketch "" ideas out there while smoking the chronic themselves , but the end result is a film that basically plays out like an extended skit on "" saturday night live "" . 
there are a couple of funny one-liners , but mostly just rehashed one-joke scenes , a lot of dead silence and lame gags . 
add to that the very unoriginal title and movie poster and you gotta start asking yourself if anybody was even trying here ( the film's website isn't even up yet ! ! ! 
what the f * * * ? ! ? ) . 
i do however have to give it up to james woods , the man who opens up this movie with the funniest parody of them all ( the exorcist take-off-- miss this and you've missed any reason to see the flick ) . 
i especially liked his one-liner as he walked in to see the possessed woman's head turning . 
very funny ! 
unfortunately , the film plummets straight down after that , with dumb parodies of many teen flicks that have nothing to do with horror such as save the last dance and dude , where's my car , and other action movies like charlie's angels and mission impossible 2 . now help me figure this one out , will you ? 
isn't this supposed to be a parody film of horror movies ? ! ? 
 ( or maybe that's just the title of the film f-ing with my head ) . 
well , i'm sorry to have to say this but the only horror in this film is its lame-ass script ! 
the wayans brothers should have known better than to look towards the weinstein brothers ( money ) instead of the zucker brothers ( comedy ) for this sequel . 
unfortunately for us , all we're left with here is a skeleton of a film which might've been funny , had it been worked over a few more times , tightened up here and there , and been injected with more solid laughs . 
but as things stand now , there is no doubt in my mind that the obvious greed to capitalize on the success of last year's film has led everyone down this path , so screw them for not trying as hard ( critically speaking , of course ) . 
you should all be ashamed of yourselves for not putting enough "" real "" effort into this chop-job and for not providing your fans with the ultimate of your talents . 
pooh on you ! 
 ( that's telling 'em , joblo ! 
sheesh ) 
btw , i'm allotting one point alone to actress kathleen robertson , whose massive breasts and skanky g-string had me chompin' at the bit . 
you go , girl ! 
everyone else . . . stay ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
airplane ( 10/10 ) - airplane ii ( 10/10 ) - galaxy quest ( 8/10 ) - hannibal ( 7/10 ) - the haunting ( 3/10 ) - mafia ( 5/10 ) - naked gun ( 8/10 ) - scary movie ( 8/10 ) - top secret ( 9/10 ) 
"
"-1","the cartoon is way better . 
that's the bottom line on disney's incredibly hyped live action version of its 1961 animated feature . 
the alliance between disney and slapstick king john hughes has produced a frenetic "" home alone "" with puppies , and not much else . 
when production of this remake was announced , the big question seemed to be "" why ? 
the original cartoon still works , so what's the point ? "" 
the answer , it appears , is to give disney an excuse for yet another massive merchandising campaign . 
the story , for those of you who missed childhood , is simple . 
two dalmatians , pongo and perdy , fall in love at first sight . 
they drag their "" human pets "" together , and in a short time both couples marry . 
the heavenly match-ups turn chaotic when pongo and perdy's new-born pups are stolen ; their dog-napping engineered by the evil cruella devil , who wants them for their pelts . 
everyone in the animal kingdom then joins in a frantic effort to save the puppies . 
in the original movie , the animated pooches had a broad range of facial expressions and distinct personalities . 
we also could hear them talk , which quickly established a crucial element to the charm of the film , the dog's view of humans as their pets . 
in the new version , the dogs are mute and expressionless . 
hughes attempts to give them character with repeated shots of the dalmatians draping their heads over each other and licking their faces and necks . 
while he drew the desired "" aww , they're so cute "" reaction from the audience , it was quickly followed by several people whispering "" i wonder what kind of food they smeared on the dog's heads to get them licking like that ? "" 
the canines' lack of personality would be easier to take if the human beings had a little . 
joely richardson and jeff daniels are stunningly bland in their lead roles . 
in previous films , daniels successfully played off his white bread persona . 
in "" something wild "" , he revealed the rebellious thrill-seeker beneath his neutral demeanor . 
in "" terms of endearment "" , his hapless appearance masked a cold , manipulative womanizer . 
here , he and richardson are so consistently bland that it's a wonder their images even stick to the film . 
glenn close , however , has no problems establishing a distinct personality . 
as the villainous icon cruella devil , she tears up the screen in a deliciously over-the-top performance . 
close matches the intensity of the animated cruella by becoming a cartoon herself . 
with a two-tone fright wig , red gloves with long nails attached to the fingertips , garish animal skin outfits and stiletto heels , close bursts through her scenes like a force of nature . 
she's clearly having a ball playing this monstrous icon , and her wicked glee is infectious . 
when she spits out lines like "" you've won the battle , but i'm about to win the wardrobe ! , "" 
the film comes briefly to life . 
 "" 101 dalmatians "" is crammed with john hughes' typical heavy-handed approach to comedy . 
after an ingenuous opening showing pongo's morning routine as he gets daniels prepared for the day , the film quickly tumbles into lame slapstick as the pooch drags daniels on a careening trek through a city park . a little slapstick goes a long way , but hughes just keeps laying it on . 
the second half of the film , where local animals team up to rescue 99 nondescript dalmatian puppies from devil and her henchmen , is a tedious home alone clone , with the bad guys enduring a variety of sadistic assaults worthy of an itchy & scratchy cartoon , including a thug getting his testicles fried on an electric fence . 
 "" 101 dalmatians "" has cute puppies and a hoot of a performance from glenn close , but not enough to warrant enduring third rate slapstick , bland characters , and unconvincing animatronic raccoons high-fiving one another . 
rent the cartoon ! 
"
"-1"," "" spawn "" may be somewhat of an older film . 
in fact it will probably be on video before anyone who hasn't seen it will finally get to see it ( that is , if they see it ) . 
but i managed to catch it before it made it's way out of theaters and into the world of rentals and , god forbid , video cassette purchasing . 
it wasn't the worst film of year by any means . 
it isn't even on the top 5 of the worst films of the year . 
but it did manage to top the bottom five of the bottom ten , which , in simpler terms , means it comes in at number 6 on my "" worst of 1997 "" list . 
the only reason it doesn't come in lower is thanks to the special effects , which might actually have been some of the best of the year . 
performances , however , were either wooden or , for the most part , unforgivingly campy . 
in fact , this film shows no signs of attempting to avoid campiness ! 
even the editing seemed to boast a campy quality . 
i don't know how to explain that one ; it wasn't exactly choppy , but something about it seemed . 
 . 
 . 
well , annoyingly unprofessional . 
john leguizamo almost makes it as clown , but not quite . 
he is the only character who provides the audience with any laughs that can honestly be called intentional . 
but the main problem i found with "" spawn "" , as with most films that wind up on my "" worst of "" lists , is that it was just plain boring . 
i wouldn't even say there was a climax to the film . 
sure , it had the big battle scene at the end , but the only excitement felt was that the movie might be nearing a conclusion . 
never too soon , the movie did conclude in a very simple , disappointing way . 
even though it's one of the shorter movies i've seen this year , it's one that i would definitely not want to subject myself to sitting thru again . 
like i said , the special effects are the only reason that this film should have any sense of pride , no matter how small . 
i was impressed with the opening sequence , so long as i didn't allow the melodramatic voice-over and lobotomizing editing to get to me . 
and batman has nothing on the spectacular visuals spawn's outfit created . 
but even the effects got tiresome during the final scenes , which looked quite a bit like a modern video game . 
who knows if "" spawn : the video game "" wasn't part of the plan from the beginning ? 
keeping in mind that the film was based on a comic book makes it somewhat more approachable , and in a very small amount , makes up for the cheeziness of it all . 
but none of this movie's saving graces can it make it something i'd recommend seeing , no matter what the price of admission . 
this movie is definitely not for young children , which shouldn't really be a problem seeing as how only teenagers , if anyone , would likely find it appealing . 
if you really want to catch a movie , there are many better ones out there , no matter what your tastes might be ! 
trust me ! 
 "" spawn "" has very little to offer even the most avid moviegoers ! 
"
"-1","from a major league baseball radio broadcast , featuring play-by- play man harry canary and color man whitey hashbrown , with special guest commentator james berardinelli . 
hc : as we go to the top of the 8th , we're joined in the booth by film critic james berardinelli , who's here fresh from seeing the new baseball movie , major league : back to the minors , the third in the popular saga taking a lighter look at the majors . 
nice to see you , jim . 
as a big baseball fan and a movie reviewer , can you give us the scoop on the new flick ? 
jb : my opinion : the producers should have stopped while they were ahead , and that was nine years ago . 
one entry was definitely enough , and i'm surprised there was a third after the anemic showing and low quality of major league 2 . this latest installment has all the earmarks of something that should have been released direct-to-video . 
it's worse than a mediocre made-for-tv feature . 
i should also mention that this movie likely won't play all that well in cleveland . 
now that the real indians are perennial contenders , they have been replaced by the minnesota twins as the cinematic sadsacks . 
actually , most of the action involves the twins' aaa minor league club , the buzz , rather than the actual major league franchise . 
hc : sorry to interrupt , jim , but we still have to do play-by-play for the game on the field . 
leading off this inning is john warren . 
he steps into the batter's box and takes kent's pitch low for ball one . 
wh : so , the story's strictly minor league , right ? 
what's it about ? 
jb : scott bakula , the guy from quantum leap , plays career minor league pitcher gus cantrell . 
when twins owner roger dorn , once again portrayed by corbin bernsen , needs a new manager for his aaa team , he offers the job to gus , who is now faced with two daunting tasks : turn the team around and groom hot prospect downtown anderson ( played by walt goggins ) for a promotion to "" the show . "" 
with the help of former major leaguers pedro cerrano ( dennis haysbert ) , rube baker ( eric bruskotter ) , and isuro tanaka ( takaaki ishibashi ) , gus gets the buzz on the right track . 
in fact , he is so successful that he earns the enmity of the jealous manager of the big-league club , leonard huff ( played with over-the-top relish by ted mcginley ) . 
soon , dorn has arranged an exhibition game that pits gus' overachieving group against huff's overpaid , last-place bunch . 
wh : can we guess who wins ? 
jb : the results have all the suspense of watching the videotape of a game when you've already seen the box score . 
on top of that , none of the mock-ups are presented with much flair . 
they're not just boring ; they're lackluster . 
but the major league movies have never been about drama or tension ; they've been about using baseball situations to generate laughs . 
hc : warren fouls off a fastball . 
1 and 1 . 
wh : are there lots of yuks in this one ? 
jb : not one , from start to finish . 
i enjoyed the first major league because it was reasonably fresh and funny . 
okay , a lot of the jokes were sophomoric , but they made me laugh . 
the two sequels haven't just been stale , but their humor quotient has been abysmally low . 
even bob uecker's once-sharp one-liners have turned lame , and they're the closest the film comes to being even vaguely amusing . 
hc : here's the 1-1 pitch . 
looooooong drive ? fair or foul ? foul ball ! 
the count goes to 1 and 2 . 
wh : does the film at least get the baseball details correct ? 
jb : yes . 
there aren't any glaring errors like there were in one of the best-ever baseball movies , the natural . 
but i'd gladly trade a technically accurate film for one with a good story , believable characters , or even a little genuine humor . 
heck , the naked gun is a better baseball comedy than major league : back to the minors . 
wh : it's nice to see old friends one more time , isn't it ? 
like cerrano , tanaka , and dorn . 
jb : depends on whether you really care that anyone is back . 
there aren't any real characters here ? just an assortment of cliched oddballs . 
yeah , the voodoo hitter , the catcher who can't throw back to the pitcher , the japanese player , and the conceited player-turned-owner have all returned , but who really cares ? 
they have no depth . 
notable absences include tom berenger's veteran and charlie sheen's "" wild thing . "" 
we don't really miss them , though . 
hc : breaking ball , low and outside . 
2 and 2 . 
wh : so you're saying that we should give this one a miss ? 
jb : that's right . 
to use baseball terminology , it's a three-pitch strikeout . 
if you're looking for a good movie that involves baseball , try popping the natural , field of dreams , bull durham , or even the first major league into the vcr . 
actually , this is an oddly-timed release , since baseball fans are likely to be spending more time in parks than in theaters . 
even the minor league seasons are already underway . 
don't bother with major league : back to the minors . 
it's a wretched time- waster . 
wh : thanks for the advice . 
jb : you're welcome . 
hc : and here's the 2-2 pitch . 
fouled back , right into this booth . 
hey , jim , heads up ! 
oops . 
somebody better get him some ice for that . 
he may be good at deflecting bad baseball movies , but he needs to learn not to duck into foul balls . 
odd how warren seemed to aim that ball right at him , almost as if he has a grudge to settle . 
anyway , back to the action on the field ? 
"
"-1","it's time to take cover . 
after a hiatus of about fifteen years , the disaster movie has come back with renewed zest . 
in early 1997 , there were no less than three movies about volcanoes alone , one on television and two in the theaters , with dante's peak and volcano in heavy competition for the moviegoing dollar . 
of the two , i had heard that dante's peak was the better film , so i decided to check it out when it was released on video . 
the film begins with a slow motion scene of people in a third world country trying to evacuate their little town . 
the town is being covered in ash and sulfuric water from what we presume is a volcanic eruption . 
flaming rocks of various sizes also fall from the sky , crushing homes and people . 
we see people panicking , people crying , and even horses rearing . 
it is a disaster of biblical proportions , signified to us by one person dragging a cross down a road . 
symbolism doesn't get much more blatant than that . 
we learn that harry dalton ( pierce brosnan ) , a volcanologist with the u . s . geological survey , was there with his wife when the eruption occurred . 
harry survived , but his wife did not . 
a few years later , harry is sent to investigate some unusual seismic activity detected near the small town of dante's peak , washington ( which , we are told , has been voted second most desirable place to live ( under 20 , 000 ) by the readers of money magazine ) . 
there harry meets rachel wando , a single mother of two who serves as mayor of dante's peak and proprietor of a small coffee shop . 
although the mayor doesn't seem to be alarmed by the presence of a man sent to determine if the mountain next to their town is going to blow up , a few members of the city council are . 
they are afraid that harry's presence is going to scare off an investor who has pledged to put millions of dollars into developing dante's peak . 
they would rather have any news of possible stirrings within the neighboring dormant volcano swept under the rug . 
however , when an amorous young couple takes a skinny-dip in the local hot springs , they turn up cooked by lava which bubbles up from a small fissure underneath . 
thus begins a chain of events leading up to the inevitable eruption . 
this film contains a number of cliches . 
the amorous couple is one . 
as soon as they doff their clothes , you know they're going to die . 
the town busybody and the abrasive mother-in-law make appearances , as does the death-defying dog . 
countless familiar scenarios only serve to make this film very predictable . 
watching the movie , i was able to not only anticipate each of the major plot elements , but some of the dialogue as well . 
unfortunate , since much of the dialog is terrible . 
for example , harry's boss , paul ( charles hallahan ) , and a team from the u . s . geological survey join harry to assess the situation . 
paul basically tells the townsfolk that harry's eruption predictions aren't cause for alarm . 
this causes harry to leave in a fit of rage , only to turn up the next day , ready for work . 
when paul asks harry why he stayed , he says with grim determination , "" cause this town's in trouble and i'm the best man you've got . "" 
even better is when harry is trying to explain the need to jolt the residents into leaving . 
he likens the situation to how a frog will jump out if dropped into a pot of boiling water . 
if the frog is in cold water which is gradually heated up , however , the frog won't move and will allow itself to be cooked . 
 "" is that your recipe for frog soup ? "" 
asks one of the team members . 
 "" it's my recipe for disaster , "" responds harry . 
dante's peak has a singular talent for pointing out the obvious . 
our heroes are in a boat in the middle of a lake which harry realizes the volcanic activity has turned to acid . 
mayor wando demonstrates her brilliant powers of deduction by proclaiming , in a very grave tone , "" acid eats metal . "" 
thanks for the tip . 
when we first see the u . s . geological survey building , there's a caption labeling it as such . 
this wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that the caption is right above a sign on the building which reads , in large letters , "" u . s . geological survey . "" 
i suppose the caption is for people who can't read signs . 
although harry and mayor wando become an item by the end of the film , the viewer has no idea why . 
there is a severe lack of chemistry between the two characters , and the relationship seems rushed because of this . 
when they get close to kissing , i was asking myself , "" why do they want to kiss ? 
were they even attracted to each other ? "" 
if i were the mayor , i would sure think twice about kissing a guy who doesn't even crack a smile through the whole movie , trying to pull off the rough-yet-debonair act . 
who does he think he is ? 
james bond ? 
the eruption of the volcano feels similarly rushed . 
there are several "" warning signs "" prior to the eruption itself , but they are so lackluster and without suspense that we don't feel as if they are leading up to anything . 
for example , one of the survey team members makes his way down into the crater of the volcano in order to retrieve a remote controlled robot . 
a tremor occurs . 
does he plunge headlong to his death ? 
is he engulfed in lava which shoots up from below ? 
no , a couple of rocks fall on him and break his leg . 
the sole purpose of this scene seemed to be to set up the subsequent chopper rescue scene , which i suppose was intended to be dramatic as well . 
it wasn't . 
one plot thread left noticeably hanging was the investment in the town of dante's peak . 
in a disaster movie , there's usually one guy who's greedy enough to cover up the possibility of eruption/fire/earthquake/explosion/tsunami/tornado/meteorite , and usually gets killed by the disaster . 
it's okay , of course , because we all think he got what he deserved . 
if you're going to be unoriginal , you might as well go all the way . 
in dante's peak , the city councilmembers are concerned , but they don't really try hard enough . 
maybe the mayor's abrasive mother-in-law should have been the one . 
for no apparent reason , she snaps at harry for even positing that the volcano could erupt . 
perhaps her ancestors invested in some pompeii real estate . 
there are a couple of good things about this movie . 
the first is the scenery . 
there are panoramic shots of forests , lakes and mountains that are absolutely beautiful . 
the second is the special effects . 
they are the closest i've ever seen to a real pyroclastic eruption . 
but when elements which don't speak are going to be the best parts of your movie , you'd probably better rewrite the script . 
"
"-1","capsule : a ham-handed and over/underwritten morality play masquerading as entertainment , so muddled it doesn't even know what it's really advocating , if anything . 
a time to kill has been hailed as the best of the grisham adaptations , and it's easy to see why : it presents a strong , almost rancorously so , story ; it is full of good actors ( samuel l . jackson , matthew mcconaughey , sandra bullock , kevin spacey , charles dutton ) ; and it's ostensibly about some important social issue that we're all tangling with . 
it is not , however , a good movie , and all of the reasons i've listed above have something to do with why . 
right from the beginning , the movie is dead-set on stacking its deck as thoroughly and unrepentantly as possible . 
a pair of redneck whites , boozed and drugged out of their minds , kidnap a young black girl , abuse and rape her horribly , and leave her for dead . 
after their arrest , their father ( jackson ) takes an assault rifle and guns them down on the way to trial . 
mcconaughey is then drafted in as his lawyer , and the rest is somehow strangely predictable courtoom movie dramatics . 
the acting is not quite what it should be , given the cast we have . 
sandra bullock ( who is a good actress but not a serious one ) looks clueless ; spacey's accent switches itself on and off at random ( and he's given a totally thankless role to play as well , a role without an iota of depth ) ; and mcconaughey's role is stamped from the cardboard back of a cereal box . 
the most memorable role is donald sutherland's , and his is a bit part . 
i always consider it an index of a movie's desperation when it is able to present shocking and outlandish events , and somehow not have them generate an ounce of impact . 
there is one scene -- a riot outside the courtroom -- that should have created incredible tension , but winds up playing out like a textbook exercise on how not to deploy a scene like this . 
because the movie doesn't know what it's really about , it * can't * generate any genuine tension , and so it has to artifically inject tension through clumsy plotting . 
one of the ways it does this is by throwing in a whole subplot about a bunch of vicious kkk cross-burners -- which is tidied up so neatly that it borders on the nihilistic . 
i was reminded of the despicable betrayed , which tried to tart up a fundamentally empty story by injecting vile , graphic acts of racism as little more than an attention-getter . 
the movie immolates an enormous amount of its potential by making a few critical mistakes . 
first of all , the jackson character is not hard to judge ; there's no tension in his dilemma . 
he's self-admittedly guilty and should be sent to jail , no matter how moral his crusade . 
the old saw about how no court in the land would convict him , if he was white , is supposed to be the underlying theme of the movie , but it's never developed into an organic component of the story . 
it just sort of floats around on top while the movie grinds away furiously with its plot mechanics . 
another mistake is in motivational logic : by not having the two white thugs arraigned first -- or maybe tried and then dismissed from lack of evidence , say -- we have that much less empathy for jackson's character . 
i'm probably supposed to think that just because he had his daughter raped , we are * automatically * supposed to feel empathy for him , but that's precisely the kind of facile thinking that makes real justice impossible . 
 ( see the virgin spring for more on that note . ) 
is jackson's character then simply insane ? 
that prospect isn't given terribly serious treatment either . 
one of the most aggravating things about coutroom movies is how little they seem to know about how the law works , or how lawyers get their information . 
mcconaughey's character makes an important slipup late in the movie , when one of his witnesses turns out to have been convicted of a capital offense . 
how did the prosecution get this information ? 
how come he didn't get it ? 
the whole way these questions get handled are symptomatic of the movie's way of dealing with complex legal and moral questions in cheap screenwriterly slam-bang fashion . 
this is the biggest problem : the movie isn't about jackson's character , or his dilemma , or this case , or any of its ( frequently interesting despite the porcine writing and direction ) characters . 
it's not ultimately about anything at all , except its stupid geared-down plot , which inches onwards in one unremarkable scene after another towards a totally contrived ending . 
at two and a half hours , the movie is overlong and drastically overwritten : there's endless stuff about things which ultimately add up to nothing , and no writing about the material that should really matter . 
it's all handwaving . 
the closing argument are also sneaky and underhanded , and underscored my suspicion that the movie is manipulative and unfair . 
it's not easy to make a movie about something . 
the other day i saw kurosawa's phenomenal rashomon , a movie that is really about the way people deal with truth and reality ( or don't ) . 
a time to kill is as empty and ponderous a movie as i've seen in a long time . 
"
"-1"," "" deep rising "" gives you that sinking feeling both literally and figuratively : not only does the movie take place on a cruise ship slowly being immersed into the middle of the ocean by a squid-like menace , but the unfolding story is artificial , silly and almost completely derivative of countless other ( and , for the most part , better ) films . 
while dumb monster movies can at least be decent guilty pleasures -- take , for example , the schlocky mountain highs of last spring's "" anaconda "" -- "" deep rising "" has no tongue to put in its cheek . 
folks , we're only a month into the new year , and already here's a candidate for one of its stinkiest releases . 
most of the action takes place on the argonautica , a luxury liner in the middle of its maiden voyage ( uh-oh -- if these people had seen "" titanic , "" then maybe they'd have known to stay home ) when it's attacked by a giant , tentacled sea creature . 
the only survivors are slinky jewel thief trilian ( famke janssen ) , argonautica owner canton ( anthony heald ) and a few other crew members . 
a mercenary team , lead by resourceful captain john finnegan ( treat williams ) , board the argonautica looking for assistance after their own boat breaks down nearby . 
but what their search of the ship uncovers is something blood-soaked , hungry and not very helpful . 
the main problem with "" deep rising "" is its overt familiarity ; the movie makes absolutely no attempt to differentiate itself from most sci-fi/horror films in recent memory . 
the concept is "" leviathan "" meets "" titanic , "" with a dash of "" speed 2 "" thrown in for good ( or is that bad ? ) 
measure . 
this monster is equal parts "" 20 , 000 leagues under the sea "" and "" the relic , "" knows how to open doors like the raptors from "" jurassic park "" and even gets to expel a half-digested victim ( a neat effect , admittedly ) a la the giant snake in "" anaconda . "" 
some of the attack sequences are straight out of "" jaws "" and "" alien . "" 
a scene where the remaining survivors have to travel under water to escape death is right out of "" alien resurrection . "" 
there's even a jet ski chase like "" hard rain . "" 
and the list goes on . 
watching "" deep rising "" 's cast battle the beast is a murky chore in itself , because none of them have well-developed characters , nor do they seem to project even the slightest sense of fear when facing their enemy . 
williams is affable enough , but his finnegan just isn't believable . 
an interesting supporting cast is thoroughly wasted ; pretty famke janssen , best known as "" goldeneye "" 's killer thighs , is trapped in a forced romantic interest with williams , while kevin j . o'connor , as finnegan's mechanic , provides comic relief with screechy manic shtick that gets old fast . 
djimon honsou , who received raves for his performance as a noble slave in december's "" amistad , "" pops up in a brief part . 
he needs to stay away from the water . 
the movie's final shot is a groaner , as is the 11th-hour regurgitation of a subplot involving an on-ship saboteur . 
as if a cast deserving of their snack food-fate isn't bad enough ( when you taunt the monster , you're really asking for it ) , "" deep rising "" is a slow , stupid slog through a story without a single bright spot . 
and since we all know that the higher the casualty rate is , the closer we are to the end of the movie , rooting for this overgrown squid to swallow the whole ship isn't out of the question . 
"
"-1"," "" mandingo "" has traditionally been seen as one of two things : either a much-needed revisionist look at slavery in the south , or in the words of film critic leonard maltin , "" a trashy potboiler "" that "" appeals only to the s&m crowd . "" 
actually , i think "" mandingo "" is a strange combination of the two , although it fails on both fronts . 
it's too trashy to be good drama , but too dramatic to be good trash . 
the story takes place on a dilapidated louisiana plantation run by crotchety old warren maxwell ( james mason ) and his son , hammond ( perry king ) . 
one day in new orleans , hammond comes across a slave trader selling a mandingo named mede ( heavyweight boxer ken norton ) . 
although the movie never explains it , a mandingo is simply the name for africans who come from the region of the upper niger river valley . 
according to the movie , mandingos were the rolls royce of african slaves . 
hammond pays top price for mede and has to fight off others in order to get him . 
hammond then spends his time training mede to be a fighter in money brawls with other slaves . 
meanwhile , hammond has married his cousin , blanche ( susan george ) , because she wants to escape her family and he is under pressure from his father to produce a grandchild . 
hammond , however , is happier spending nights with his "" bed wench , "" the derogatory name given to female slaves used by their masters for easy sex . 
it is quickly apparent that hammond , despite his overt racism , is more in love with his bed wench , a sensitive slave girl named ellen ( brenda sykes ) , than he is with blanche . 
hammond considers blanche tainted goods because he finds out on their wedding night that another man had "" pleasured "" her before he did . 
of course , it's fine that he's slept with numerous slave girls , but the fact that his wife , a "" white lady , "" had been with another man out of wedlock destroys his capacity to care for her . 
so blanche is usually left lonely and sex-starved while hammond is sleeping with ellen . 
blanche gets back at hammond by seducing the studly mede and bearing his child . 
hammond and his father cannot stand the idea that blanche has given birth to a half-black child ( although it's okay that ellen was pregnant by hammond ) , so warren kills the child by letting it bleed to death after birth , and hammond poisons blanche . 
hammond then finds mede , shoots him twice in the shoulder , and pushes him into a giant cauldron of boiling water . 
yes , you read right : the film ends with hammond getting his revenge by boiling mede alive . 
judging only by the plot , "" mandingo "" is pure sexploitation . 
the main purpose of the film seems to be getting as many blacks and whites into bed together as possible , with only the slightest commentary on what that would mean in 19th century southern society . 
when "" mandingo "" was released in 1975 , it was still a bit of a shocker to see miscegenation on screen in such a graphic detail ; this way the movie could revise cinematic history while attracting large audiences of curious voyeurs . 
dramatically , "" mandingo "" is weak and unfocused , and historically it's mostly confused . 
if one were to judge history by this film , it would be easy to walk away with the notion that the entire system of american slavery was based on sexuality , not economics . 
not once in the film do we see any of the slaves working , except for a few house servants . 
the men spend most of the time sitting around , while the sole purpose of a female slave seems to be free sex for the owner . 
there is historical basis in the notion that slave owners often slept with their female slaves , but "" mandingo's "" overwhelming emphasis on this aspect of slavery gives the movie the unpleasant taste of a cheap sex flick ( although there's plenty of violence -- fights , vicious beatings , shootings , and the aforementioned human boiling sequence -- thrown in for good measure ) . 
some tried to write off "" mandingo "" as a blaxploitation film , one of a number of quickly-made , low-budget films appealing to black sensibilities in the early seventies , but it's not that easy . 
 "" mandingo "" was studio-financed by paramount pictures , and produced by dino de laurentiis , the grandiose italian producer behind such notorious productions as "" the bible "" ( 1966 ) , the remake of "" king kong "" ( 1976 ) , and the ill-fated "" dune "" ( 1984 ) . 
the director was richard fleischer , a veteran who was best known for several special effects-laden action movies including "" 20 , 000 leagues under the sea "" ( 1954 ) and "" fantastic voyage "" ( 1966 ) , as well as such superior suspense films as "" the narrow margin "" ( 1952 ) . 
the script , based on the supermarket best-seller by ken ostott ( and the subsequent play by jack kirkland ) , was penned by norman wexler , who had been nominated for an oscar two years earlier for his work on "" serpico . "" 
james mason , perry king , and susan george were well-known and respected actors ( mason already had three oscar nominations under his belt ) , and ken norton appeared to have a promising film career . 
so why is "" mandingo "" so bad ? 
a number of reasons , including the fact that all those experienced filmmakers behind and in front of the camera did a lousy job . 
wexler's script is pure poor hokum bordering on the offensive ; it combines stereotyped slave-talk ( "" yessuh , massuh "" ) , stereotyped southern white trash talk ( "" fer whut're you gittin' outta bed ? "" ) , and stereotyped contemporary militant black talk ( "" if you see me hang , you gonna know you killed a black brother ! "" ) . 
fleischer's direction is clumsy , especially during the fight scenes , and all the actors give weak performances , especially susan george whose constant shrieking finally becomes laughable . 
nevertheless , credit should be given where credit is due . 
despite its exploitative nature , "" mandingo "" was one of the first hollywood movies to take an alternative look at slavery . 
until then , there had been a kind of underlying racism in all hollywood films dealing with slavery . 
even classics such as "" gone with the wind "" ( 1939 ) can be seen as inherently racist by its glossing over the subject matter . 
 "" mandingo "" reassessed the south , and showed that it wasn't all beautiful plantations , green fields , and pretty sunsets . 
but all this is constantly undermined by the film's negligible point-of-view -- it claims to see things from the black perspective , but the entire narrative focus is on the soap opera tales of the white owners . 
with a little more maturity and different handling , "" mandingo "" might have been an effective , worthwhile film . 
while it portrays many sensitive aspects of slavery , it never deals with them . 
the issues the movie brings up are worthwhile , but wexler's script refuses to move them beyond a surface level of trashily vicarious viewing . 
there is a great deal of potential in honestly exploring the nature of a sexual relationship between slave and owner , but "" mandingo "" never does it . 
steven spielberg touched on that same topic in "" schindler's list "" ( 1993 ) , by looking at a nazi officer writhing in inner turmoil because of his feelings for a jewish maid . 
the difference between that film and "" mandingo "" is that spielberg dealt with the situation in a fair , unexploitive manner that focused on the inherent human dilemma . 
 "" mandingo "" is satisfied to simply show some skin , and because of that , its "" trashy potboiler "" nature overshadows any potential social good it might have accomplished . 
"
"-1","the above is dialogue from this film , taken almost completely in context , and not jazzed up a bit to make it more inept than it is . 
it is spoken between two of the protagonists somewhere in the film , and basically serves as a perfect example of what this film is about , especially if you realize that this exchange is meant to be taken seriously . 
mr . gregg "" i'm-having-a-mid-life-crisis "" araki , the writer and director of this film , wants to show how important teenagers are , and wants to show how they feel in such a horrible , horrible world . 
and how does he show it ? 
by really cheap surrealism , and moronic exchanges like this . 
oh , and it gets better . 
a similar bit of dialogue is said in the middle of , oh i dunno , the fiftieth sex scene in this film ( i'm not counting the several masturbation scenes ) . 
in it , one of the protagonists is humping away on top of another , and he says to her something along the lines of "" do you ever wonder what life is all about ? "" 
sorry , man : foreplay takes place before the act of coitus . 
of course , what do you expect : the film was written and directed by a guy who can't even spell his first name right ( yes , i know it's a cheap joke , but it had to be done ) . 
 "" the doom generation "" is advertised as a road trip movie about people who go around killing others who attack them , and also as another "" teen angst "" film ( one of the slogans is "" teen is a four-letter word "" - hardy har har ) . 
it's a film about two angsty teens - amy blue ( rose macgowan , who would later play the buxom tatum in "" scream "" ) and jordon white ( james duval , who would go on to play randy quaid's son in "" independence day "" ) - who pick up an angsty homicidal maniac , xavier red ( jonathan schaech , who would go on to play the angsty lead guitarist in "" that thing you do ! "" 
- and by the way , do you get the symbolism ? 
red , white , and blue ? 
huh ? 
huh ? ) , and go on a road trip where three things happen , in no order : 1 ) they have sex ; 2 ) they run into weird people ; 3 ) they kill them . 
the film is basically a remix of a bunch of other far superior films . 
gregg araki obviously has seen such films as "" easy rider , "" "" natural born killers , "" and "" kalifornia , "" and tries to borrow elements from all these films and make something which is like a pop culture reference guide . 
but what he forgets is these films either represented something that this film does not , or that they dug deep into their subjects and brought something out of them to make them deeper . 
 "" the doom generation "" doesn't want to do this ; it just wants to show everything in a surreal manner for the sole reason that araki does not want to deal with them on any kind of real level . 
he wants to show everything in a weird manner , and forgets what the scenes are supposed to be about . 
here's one scene , an earlier scene in the film : amy and jordan go into a quick-e mart type place to get food and other stuff . 
amy is smoking , and the clerk , an asian man mind you ( i love how racist this film is , i really do ) , tells her to put it out . 
she tells him to fuck off or something to that note . 
he points a shotgun at her , and she puts it out reluctantly . 
jordan makes two hot dogs , and takes them to the counter . 
the cash register rings up "" 6 . 66 "" 
 ( oh , and this symbolism doesn't stop here ) . 
jordan checks for his wallet but it's really in the car . 
he asks amy for it , but she left her wallet in the car as well . 
the clerk brings out his shotgun again and asks for the money . 
they say they don't have it . 
he gets ready to kill them , but then xavier , who they ditched in the middle of nowhere a scene before , pops out of nowhere , fights with the clerk , and ends with him blowing the clerk's head clean off ( clean wound , mind you ) . 
the head is shown flying through the air , and lands in a fryer , where it begins to scream . 
i don't really object to this kind of sick violence , but this scene is in the film for one reason and one reason only : to gross you out . 
araki thinks that if he takes everything to the extreme , he'll make some kind of art . 
wrong . 
it takes a kind of resistance to make gore art . 
when george romero made "" dawn of the dead , "" a very gory flick even for today , he had control over everything and still was able to make everything sick . 
same goes for peter jackson's disgustingly gory "" dead alive , "" which features a 30 minute long fest of blood , guts , dismemberments , flesh chewing , and other assorted stuff , all ending with a guy with a lawn mower strapped to his body , taking out all sorts of zombies . 
it was sick , but it was also satirical , and controled . 
a scene like this has no purpose in the film , and it sticks out from everything else that happens . 
here's a couple other scenes : jordan and amy have sex in a bath tub and xavier watches , masturbates , and then licks the semen from his hand ; xavier and amy have sex and jordan watches from the window , masturbates , and falls backwards ; a man attacks the trio , and is stabbed in the crotch by a giant sword ( put there just so this could happen ) ; a fast food employee stalks the trio , and his arm is shot off by xavier ; and various other annoyances . 
also , look for about a million camoes from a wide assortment of people , who probably didn't really know what they were getting into when they signed up to do it ( just like peter o'toole , helen mirren , malcolm macdowell , and john gielgud probably didn't when they signed to be in "" caligula "" ) . 
people such as indie actors parker posey and nicky katt , alternative rock stars skinny puppy and perry farrel , hollywood madam heidi fleiss , christopher "" peter brady "" mcknight , amanda bearse , and margaret cho all grace the screen for a matter of seconds , then disappear so that we can return to the annoying main plot line . 
why are they here ? 
so that we can all point to them and say "" hey , look it's ( fill in the blank ) ! 
wow ! "" 
gimme a break . 
the film's meaning is pretty easy to detect : that , you know , teens are so precious , and the world is such a horrible place , that when the two entities collide , there's a giant explosion of horrific violence . 
otherwise defined as "" teen angst , "" or the belief that being a teenager is a horrible thing and that the world is too bad for you . 
look , i'm 19 years old . 
i went through a very brief teen angst thing which curiously lasted about as long as my taste in nirvana did . 
i've since moved on to "" i don't really know what to do with my life "" phase , but the teen angst phase is something which is so annoyingly sophomoric and ignorant that any film that thinks they're dealing with it on any kind of serious level is just beating the wrong horse . 
part of being a teen is experimenting , and testing the waters . 
it's not whining about how awful parents are , and purposely feeling dispondent . 
this is what the characters in this film do , and the film wants to show how they're these great people who are being punished by the world because they're teenagers , and how they try to defend themselves but can't totally overcome them . 
it's not their fault they kill people ; it's the world's ! 
what they really need is a reality check . 
the world is a bad place , and teenagers can be easily harmed because they are experimenting . 
but part of it is taking everything that happens to you and learning from it . 
the film thinks that teenagers are basically doomed , and there's nothing they can do about it . 
hence the title . 
not only does it have bad fallacy , but it can't even express this in an intelligent and coherent manner . 
everything's overly surreal , and all we get are scenes of graphic violence and graphic sex . 
how does xavier licking semen off his hand express teen angst ? 
how does a talking decapitated head show that teens are dispondent because the world makes them this way ? 
and why does the film constantly go back to the teen angst issue of the film ? 
if araki had any kind of competence in writing or direction , he'd show them for what they really are . 
and if he didn't want the satirical approach , he'd show the real problems with the world . 
and if you still don't think that "" the doom generation "" is incompetent on every single possible level it could be , take the acting . 
rose macgowan is horrible . 
yes , she proved herself talented in "" scream , "" but she's so bad in "" the doom generation "" that if i had not seen her in "" scream , "" i would have christened her one of the worst actresses working in films today . 
her entire performance is one-note ( bitchy ) , and the one scene where she cries over a dead animal is so forced that it's laughable . 
equally bad is jonathan schaech , who wants to be the slacker serial killer : someone who doesn't have any remorse because emotions cause some kind of strain . 
his performance is annoying as hell , and granted , he was better in "" that thing you do ! "" 
and then there's james duval . 
let's just say he makes keanu reeves look like brando . 
he has the same kind of slacker stuttering , only much much much worse , and every line he says is so bad that i have now deemed him "" least talented actor in the world . "" 
i have seen lots of bad actors , but james duval has got to be the worst . 
or at least somewhere up there . 
here's another example of a bad scene , if you're still not convinced : the film opens up in a club where they're playing nine inch nail's most banal song , "" heresy "" ( example of the lines : "" god is dead/and no one cares/if there is a hell/i'll see you there "" ) , and as the song plays , and red strobe lights show the patrons dancing , the film pans over to amy , just standing there , looking dispondent . 
the film closes in on her , she looks right at the camera and says "" fuck . "" 
no explanation of this should be necessary . 
and finally , a note to gregg : grow up . 
really . 
move out of your parent's basement , read something other than salinger , and get a day job . 
and don't quit it . 
"
"-1"," "" ladybugs "" is a typical comedy that relies on three supposed guarantees : the pathetic team who beats the champs ; cross dressing ; and the presence of rodney dangerfield . 
this picture doesn't play like a comedy for children , so who is it aimed at ? 
and why is it told like a 91-minute sit-com instead of a feature film ? 
rodney dangerfield stars as chester lee , a total schmuck working at a huge corporation . 
he obviously doesn't have a lot of self esteem and thinks he has to kiss up to get ahead , which he does by volunteering to coach the company's girls' soccer team . 
what a shock to learn chester and his assistant julie ( jackee ) know absolutely nothing about the game , and the players seem to know even less . 
i didn't laugh , but for some reason it didn't annoy me that much . 
chester's fiancee bess ( graff ) thinks he got a promotion in addition to the coaching position , and of course she has a slacker for a son who is doing poorly in school and is kicked off the sports teams . 
jonathon brandis is a nice surprise as matthew , who agrees to dress up as a girl named martha to help out chester ( probably because the girl he has a crush on plays on the team - what original story ideas ! ) . 
what we get is just another retread of the "" underdog sports team "" mixed with some cross dressing . 
unfortunately , the film isn't smart enough to play upon the drag aspect . 
in fact , it downplays it so heavily it's totally unbelievable . 
could it be any more obvious martha is a boy ? 
he only wears a girl's wig , without any makeup , and they don't even give him falsies . 
brandis doesn't bother to mimic a girl's voice either . 
then there is a pointless scene where chester and matthew shop for a dress , but for what reason ? 
martha is only seen on the soccer field , why would they buy a dress for her ? 
just when we think the martha character is going to be useful , she disappears , and the story wanders aimlessly looking for a new plot to pick up on . 
when bess discovers what's really going on she breaks up with chester , and the relationship is forgotten about and the film focuses on the soccer team and the tension between chester and his boss . 
this film could've been less bad had it been the cliche sports comedy , but it feels the need to go off on tangents that are completely unnecessary ( and bad at that ) . 
there's just too much of a sit-com feel here , especially during the so-called serious moments , and all the confusion between the characters . 
i've seen worse movies than "" ladybugs , "" but for some reason it contained some sort of bizarre charm , so even when it turns sour it doesn't seem as bad as it is . 
dangerfield finally gets his respect in the end , but at what a price . 
"
"-1","the happy bastard's quick movie review 
the concept of enjoying a stupid comedy is best realized as keeping it stupid , really . 
shift gears even once and the audience can be thrown miserably out of control . 
sadly , that is the case with kingpin , a film directed by the farrelly brothers , the duo that brought us there's something about mary and dumb and dumber . 
since the duo directed and didn't write the script , i can assume that's part of the problem . 
the story seems good enough : a pro bowler in the 1970's by the name of roy munson ( woody harrelson ) is sitting on top of the world . 
his popularity has gone through the roof and he's getting his career off the ground . 
then , however , he runs into ed mccracken ( bill murray ) , a rival bowler with hardly any real consideration for , well , anything . 
these two form an ill-timed relationship that involves risky betting , and , before roy sees it coming , ed's abandoned him and he's about to lose his hand in a bowling ball machine . 
forward seventeen years later , where roy has become quite the loser , complete with mechanical hand , torn-up car , and , of course , the occasional knocking up of the ugly-ass landlord to avoid paying rent for a while . 
however , he finds a glimmer of a hope upon a visit to a local bowling alley , where he runs into an amish kid named ishmael ( randy quaid ) , who has quite the bowling arm . 
with the kid's help , he figures he can be known again , particularly at the biggest bowling tournament rapidly approaching in reno , nevada . 
of course , the amish kid needs some coaxing , particularly when you consider , well , he's amish . 
this leads to some of the best comic scenes in the film , such as roy's process of removing horseshoes or milking the cow . 
finally , the duo get on the road and , along the way , pick up an additional helper- a beautiful hustler ( played by the gorgeous vanessa angel ) . 
the main problem i had with kingpin wasn't the fact it wasn't funny . 
in fact , it does have some rather hilarious scenes in it , such as the aformentioned above and roy's explanation of not having children ( something involving a cheese grater ? ) . 
but that's just it- scenes . 
there's a couple of really serious scenes that throw off the entire momentum of the movie , like the abuse angel takes from her hustler ex-boyfriend . 
i mean , was this really necessary ? 
couldn't have this been handled just a bit wackier ? 
i mean , this is a comedy , why throw ethics in ? 
particularly in a farrelly brothers vehicle , where hair gel can be easily mistaken ? 
that really ruined it , however , and that's too bad . 
the acting is top notch , especially from angel and murray , and the really funny scenes are worth noting . 
still , if you're going to think dumb , think dumb all the way through , ok ? 
at least the farrelly brothers got back on track with mary or i'd still be a little bit irked . 
"
"-1"," "" shagadellic ! "" , "" groovy , baby ! "" 
 "" smashing ! "" 
adorn the 1/4 page ad for this movie tabbed as "" the #1 comedy in america "" as of may 8th . 
did we attend the same movie ? ! 
at 87 minutes it seemed overlong , like a snl skit on steroids , and at any length it seemed unfunny . 
yes , the sets and costumes were an interesting exaggeration of 60s pop frills , and yes , the concept , dealing with a 60s secret agent/pop icon ( played by myers ) awakened from his cryogenic slumber to battle his arch enemy ( dr . 
evil , also played by myers ) in the present day , had a great deal of potential . 
fun costumes and scenery and potential do not a movie make so lets throw in a hefty dose of bathroom humor . 
don't get me wrong , i like a good "" bubbles in the bathtub joke "" as much as the next person , but to have this type of humor be the funniest thing about your movie is a waste of yuor talent and my money . 
but , the way things work these days in the movie business , all a film has to do is call itself the funniest and people will believe it . 
i do give this film stars because of the sets , costumes , and sadly , unmet potential . 
"
"-1","robin williams , this time without a beard , returns to drama in this sloppy , sickly sweet fantasy with few redeeming features apart from the incredible effects . 
he plays chris nielsen , who meets annie ( annabella sciora ) and promptly marries her . 
they have two great kids , who sadly die in a car crash . 
just when it couldn't get any worse , chris gets killed in a car crash , and goes to heaven where he meets his guide albert ( gooding jnr . ) 
annie can't take the grief anymore , and kills herself . 
 ( all sounding like good fun so far ? ) 
the 'penalty' for suicide is to go to hell , and chris goes on a mission to try and rescue her using the help of the traveller ( max von sydow . ) 
based on a novel by twilight zone writer richard matheson , what dreams may come is clunky , manufactured material doused with a extra load of sugar . 
this is the worse spielberg film spielberg never made . 
everything is wrong about this movie : the performances are forced , and the audiences fail to relate to any of the characters . 
williams puts on a convincing upset face , but that's all it is : a face . 
there's no emotion behind it . 
sciora's performance is lazy , and bogs down the whole film . 
she may look pretty , but she can't act . 
max von sydow is o . k as the traveller , if nothing special . 
cuba gooding jnr , thankfully , adds some bounce to his performance , and is certainly the best performer in the film . 
it's a shame that his character is so flat and 2-d , and offers no room for improvement . 
all the performers have to work with a soppy script , that tries it's best to get some emotion going , but never takes off the ground . 
there are _some_ scenes which could be real heartwarmers , but the faceless characters don't help to get anything out of the performers . 
while films like e . t used great actors , music and direction to pull of a masterful heart-tugging scene , what dreams may come is haphazard , expecting the emotion to come out of the scene automatically . 
instead , it's all rather boring . 
sure , the music is pretty ( by michael kamen ) and the cinematography isn't bad ( by eduardo serra ) but there's something lacking . 
the script doesn't help , filled with hopeless romantic clich ? s , and dud speeches . 
richard matheson can write some awesome science fiction stories , sadly this novel would look embarrassed in a bargain bin , let alone being converted into a $70 million vehicle for robin williams . 
despite being set in heaven , what dreams may come is mightily depressing . 
the film rushes a happy ending , but everything before this is very , very sad and black , which just adds to make the ending even more hopeless and stupid . 
but there's one redeeming feature about this failure of a movie : the special effects . 
heaven and hell are truly incredible places , and the actors fit perfectly with the virtual sets . 
but despite this , what dreams may come , proves to be nothing but the biggest disappointment of 1998 . 
instead of raising questions about existence , it raises boredom . 
sadly , i recommend you give this film a miss . 
better luck next time , robin . 
a david wilcock review ? 1998 
 "" you know , for kids "" - norville barnes 
"
"-1","the catch phrase for disney's rocket man is one spoken by fred z . randall ( harland williams ) , the bumbling idiot computer programmer turned astronaut who continuously wreaks havoc everywhere he goes . 
 "" it wasn't me ! "" he proclaims over and over as the aftermath of his stupidity brings about looks of disgust from the others . 
well when it comes to this movie being as horrible as it is , williams can't take all the blame , but he sure can't justify himself with his own simple tag line either . 
fred has dreamed of space travel since he was a young boy , turning the clothes dryer into a mock space shuttle and staring out wide-eyed at a poster of the earth . 
as a 30-year-old , fred hasn't grown up much , but at least he's somewhat closer to his goal , now designing astronaut software for nasa . 
when an astronaut for an upcoming mission to mars becomes injured , nasa calls on the person who knows the programming inside and out to fill the void . 
 . 
 . 
fred . 
yes , although he's an obviously klutzy moron , nasa doesn't think twice about throwing him into a rigorous training program so he can assist one of the most important events the space program , and time itself , has ever known . 
for the first part of the film , we watch as fred takes on the training program much like an amusement park . he laughs , he screams , but he never once breaks a sweat or views the preparation as anything more than child's play . 
his passive approach to the program eventually leads to many record-breaking feats , much to the dismay of cocky counterpart , mission commander captain overbeck ( william sadler ) , who once held the records . 
overbeck will regretfully accompany fred and two others to the red planet , one being astronaut julie ford ( the stupids' jessica lundy ) , and the other being a chimpanzee who is much more civilized than our antagonizing protagonist . 
from here on out , we are subjected to one lame gag after another , dealing with snot , laxatives , and flatulence . 
you know , standard kid movie material . 
almost sounding like a poor james stewart impressionist , williams is awful in his first starring role . 
we get the feeling that if jerry lewis and pee-wee herman were related and produced an inbred offspring , williams would be it . 
while he's not as annoying as other actors who cater to zany , stupid comedy , he's just as unlikeable . 
to say it more understandably , jim carrey might annoy you more , but this guy is even less funny . 
why ? 
because while he possesses the stupidness needed to pull off such a role , his performance is too understated and boring . 
classic comedic dunces were generally oblivious to their own idiocy . 
stan laurel , for example , was so innocent in all his trouble-making that we were immediately fond of him . 
peter sellers , as inspector clouseau , was so self-assured and confident that when he did something as simple as trip , it was humor at it's best . 
williams , on the other hand , can't garner the pity he needs to make us love him in all his anti-glory . 
as for the rest of the cast , including some bigger names in smaller roles ( beau bridges and shelley duvall ) , nobody is worth watching whatsoever . 
this is just another example of the fast-food equivalent of cinema : mass-produced , less than mediocre , over priced , and hard to stomach . 
giving it one-and-a-half stars is * extremely * generous , but even i'll admit to laughing a few times . 
the amazing thing is that even in a theater packed with little kids , laughter was something rarely heard - even from the children ! 
i must admit that it gave me more respect for the kids when they didn't crack up over every little thing . 
then again , maybe they were asleep . 
some people might think critics are harsh on kid movies , claiming adults aren't the targeted audience and therefore aren't meant to , and won't , enjoy them . 
sadly , it's also true that kids will enjoy almost anything if it's presented right . 
a two-hour still shot of a dog with a cartoonish voice over could entertain a lot of toddlers out there , but would that make it as artistic as beauty and the beast , which could easily do the same thing ? 
and saying that a parent's perspective isn't important is quite a poor theory to have when they're the ones who take the kids to these films in the first place . 
"
"-1","based on the novel set in 1914 by joseph conrad , victory spins a tale of a pair of lovers , heyst ( william dafoe ) and alma ( irene jacob ) , who seek refuge on heyst's isolated island . 
however , their idyllic world begins to crumble upon the arrival of mr jones ( sam neil ) , martin ricardo ( rufus sewell ) and their servant , pedro ( graziano marcelli ) , who have come to steal heyst's rumoured plunder . 
while the novel is largely complex in characterization , the film sadly transposes conrad's characters into lacklustre leads , the most disappointing being heyst himself . 
conrad's heyst adheres religiously to his late father's ways of detachment and isolation . 
his ascetic lifestyle is thrown into question when he meets alma , a helpless orchestra girl who charms him with her voice . 
the struggle to embrace the arrival of alma into his solitude , however , is lost in mark peploe's ( director and writer ) diluted version of heyst . 
without properly establishing the crucial details of heyst's character , all that is left of conrad's main character is a very shallow treatment of his internal conflict between detachment and human involvement . 
on the one hand , actualizing the subtext is a mammoth task ( though not impossible ) , but on the other hand , dafoe's flat acting cannot be excused as an attempt at stoicism . 
in the end , we are supposed to witness heyst renounce his philosophy and finally come to an understanding of what it is to love another . 
the final transformation , while perceptible , lacks the cathartic revelation which is undeniable in conrad's novel . 
its absence in the film is unforgivable . 
the film seems more concerned about moving the plot along when so much has yet to be said about the relationship between the two complete strangers . 
alma is supposed to have overcome great emotional barriers in the relationship , namely heyst's underlying philosophy of detachment , which heyst himself grapples with . 
the struggle against heyst's ignorance of true human involvement accounts for much of the greatness of alma's love for him . 
jacob , fair-skinned , gentle and yet passionate , handles the role with precision , detailing nuances where possible . 
unfortunately , she is let down by a superficial script . 
the couple's relationship develops too hastily , leaving all subtlety effaced and replaced with a blatant show-and-tell approach . 
all we know of the characters are mostly explained by their lines alone . 
this is unsatisfactory when so much of the turmoil experienced by the two stem from their buried thoughts and emotions . 
the sketchy handling of their relationship stands out as sorely as dafoe's american accent ( an inappropriate one since heyst spent most of his life in london ) . 
the other characters such as schomberg ( jean yanne ) , the owner of a hotel , and mr jones ( sam neill ) , also fall short of conrad's meticulous characterization . 
while schomberg should have been more menacing and vindictive , mr jones should have been portrayed as something more of an enigma . 
sam neil's caricature of a slightly stout , effeminate and soft-spoken gentleman-at-large nullifies the effect intended by conrad who describes mr jones as "" an insolent spectre on leave from hades , endowed with skin and bones and a subtle power of terror "" . 
poor characterization aside , kudos goes to rufus sewell for his excellent portrayal of ricardo , secretary to mr jones , a reckless ruffian capable of murder . 
sewell , with his cockney accent and large expressive green eyes , becomes the true terror of the unholy trinity , masterminding deceitful plans behind jones' back . 
at the same time , we are entertained by the foolhardiness of his plans . 
despite the authentic setting and marvellous cinematography by bruno de keyzer , very few images are left behind for us to savour after the film has ended . 
sourabaya and its surrounding islands and volcanoes may have their charm , but mean nothing once the film fails to capture the essence of an epic , which is what victory deserves to be . 
the delicately inter-woven complexities in the love story are lost to an inadequate production . 
at the end of the film , we are told that perhaps alma's victory was in teaching heyst how to love . 
a hollow victory indeed . 
the flying inkpot's rating system : * wait for the video . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"-1","a couple of criminals ( mario van peebles and loretta devine ) move into a rich family's house in hopes of conning them out of their jewels . 
however , someone else steals the jewels before they are able to get to them . 
writer mario van peebles delivers a clever script with several unexpected plot twists , but director mario van peebles undermines his own high points with haphazard camera work , editing and pacing . 
it felt as though the film should have been wrapping up at the hour mark , but alas there was still 35 more minutes to go . 
daniel baldwin ( i can't believe i'm about to type this ) gives the best performance in the film , outshining the other talented members of the cast . 
[r] 
"
"-1","chill factor is a carbon copy of speed with one notable exception : instead of a speeding bus , we now have an ice cream truck . 
the truck is driven by arlo ( cuba gooding jr . ) and mason ( skeet ulrich ) , who have been instructed by a dying scientist to transport a deadly chemical weapon to a military base by the name of fort mcgruder . 
this particular weapon ( nicknamed `elvis' ) must be kept below a temperature of 50 degrees , or else the shockwave will goo-iffy everything in a mile radius . 
that would be pretty nasty . 
the power of elvis is revealed in the opening scene , as dr . richard long ( david paymer ) conducts a test on an isolated tropical island . 
long accidentally melts 18 soldiers and defoliates virtually the entire island , due to an enormously miscalculated safety distance . 
the commanding officer , general brynner ( peter firth ) , is sentenced to 10 years in prison for the murder of his troops . 
upon his release , the general is intent on tracking the good doctor down , snatching elvis , and selling the weapon to the highest international bidder . 
protecting the fate of the world is a drifting hamburger flipper ( ulrich ) and a feisty ice cream delivery man ( gooding jr . ) , who must elude brynner's men and get elvis to safety at fort mcgruder . 
all the while , of course , they must keep the weapon below 50 degrees . 
this proves to be tricky . 
among the wild adventures arlo and mason partake in is a trip down a tree-covered mountainside in a boat , and a fist fight on top of a moving vehicle . 
they also crack a few dozen witty retorts that we are supposed to find amusing . 
to put it simply , i'll use a clever pun : chill factor should be put on ice . 
director hugh johnson has mixed elements from speed , broken arrow and the lethal weapon series to create a lifelessly bland cocktail of a chase movie . 
when there is some occasional action , the audience seems oddly detached from it . 
perhaps that's because we've already waded through a pool of clich ? s and boring dialogue ; all material that's been used before , and with a lot more spice . 
take the villains , for example . 
they are typical stereotypes of every terrorist that has ever walked the silver screen . 
they speak lines that have been recycled profusely from one movie to the next , divulge important plot details while holding their enemies at gunpoint , and act in very predictable ways . 
the tag-team of gooding jr . and ulrich sounds much more exciting than it is . 
frankly , i'm not sure i can accept cuba as an ice cream man . 
i suppose it's better than him dressed like a giant hot dog , selling jumbo frankfurters on a street corner . 
gooding displays one single emotion in this movie , which is frequently on display in lines like `i'm gonna get on yo ass like last year's underwear ! ' and the incessant sputtering of `oh , sh * t ! ' 
this is virtually the same character he played in jerry maguire and as good as it gets . 
but where gooding was once an exciting actor , he now seems dull and endlessly monotonous . 
at least he's a bit more captivating than ulrich , who has all the film's worst dialogue , but does nothing noticeable to enliven his character . 
the supporting cast , which includes every personality you expect to pop up , is also wasted . 
to be fair , there are a few brief moments of serviceable action . 
and i did chuckle a few times . 
one example is when ulrich ( an employee at `darlene's diner' ) is at the counter when brynner walks through the door . 
`you own this place ? ' 
the general asks . 
`yeah , ' ulrich says . 
`they call me darlene . ' 
these little tidbits of humor are ( mainly ) welcome in this weak , disappointing wreckage of an action film . 
as a speed clone , it could have benefited from a lot more suspense and perhaps ( god forbid ) even some decent writing . 
sadly , i walked away from chill factor only wondering how much fun it could have been . 
"
"-1"," * * * warning - the following review contains spoilers * * * 
cast : gary sinise , don cheadle , connie nielsen , jerry o'connell , kim delaney , tim robbins , elise neal , jill teed , jody thompson , bill timoney written by : jim thomas , john thomas and graham yost directed by : brian depalma running time : 115 minutes 
the first big event movie of 2000 turns out to be anything but . 
gary sinise stars as an astronaut who is removed from a mars mission when his astronaut wife , maggie ( kim delaney ) , becomes ill and passes away . 
don cheadle is then given the mission along with a russian couple and a young hotshot . 
when a strange whirlwind shot from the top of a mars mountain range attacks the crew of the mission , sinise and robbins convince their superior to let them , neilsen , and o'connell perform a rescue mission for whatever crew might be remaining . 
what they discover on the surface of the planet will dramatically change their lives forever ( although no one watching the film will come away profoundly affected ) . 
before i ever saw the film , i was aware of the promotional campaign with dr . pepper . 
every time i would see a bottle of the soft drink , the mission to mars logo was emblazoned upon it . 
little did i know that the plot would be taking a back seat to the product placement of the drink and several other products . 
dr . pepper saves the day at one point , and a dream sequence/flashback features jerry o'connell shoving m&m's in our face . 
these are but a couple of the ridiculous examples of product placement scattered throughout the film . 
clich ? s are also the order of the day with mission to mars . 
dialogue and character motivations are all lifted directly from countless other science fiction films that have all done it better and with more style ( even independence day , which lifted all of it's premises from other sci-fi films was better than this film , and i don't like independence day ) . 
films like 2001 : a space odyssey , the abyss , and close encounters of the third kind are all blatantly stolen from ( and poorly at that ) . 
there is even a sequence where a rover is traveling through a canyon , and i couldn't help but whisper "" u'tinni "" to myself and wait for a jawa to quickly hide in the rocks before the rover could get a glimpse of it . 
this film also features one of my all-time least favorite movie clich ? s : the "" he would have wanted you to have this "" moment , where one character gives another a trinket that yet another character is established as constantly having ( and is usually made fun of by the character who ends up getting all sappy over it later on ) . 
scenes like these always bother me when they come out of nowhere in regular films , but in a film as clich ? ridden as this , it is particularly irritating . 
ennio morricone's music is usually considered to be some of the best stuff in the projects he works on , but here it is dreadfully overbearing . 
his music sounds like it came straight out of a vincent price movie in certain scenes . 
at other times his music is unbearably over-dramatic . 
one sequence involving a daring spacewalk rescue is given a particularly cheesy sting when it is discovered that the grappling hook device used for the rescue won't reach its intended target . 
mission to mars is push button filmmaking to the greatest extreme . 
events are set into motion that are obvious to anyone who has ever seen a movie and seem like they are just there to evoke an emotional response in the audience . 
we are apparently supposed to be upset that tim robbins character removes his helmet in deep space and kills himself to save his wife , but i felt extreme boredom coupled with a twinge of disinterest . 
what makes it all worse is that fact that there is no real reason that robbins' character needs to turn himself into a popsicle , except to invoke an emotional response ( i could think of at least one way to save him , and the nasa clowns in this film are supposed to be "" smarter "" than i am ) . 
during the finale , when we are finally introduced to the translucent , conehead , kitty-faced aliens that we ostensibly sprung from , we are presented with some of the most ridiculously cartoonish cgi ever put to film ( just slightly worse than the plane crash at the end of air force one or the hell scenes in spawn ) . 
a brief history lesson about "" where we came from "" is proffered , then sinise is whisked away to be with "" the rest of our people "" ( he does this because his late wife proclaims in a video he watches early on that "" this is a chance to step foot where no one else has "" ) . 
>from the press i've been seeing this film receive , it is apparent that mission to mars will be dying a quick death at the theater . 
i'm sure the first weekend or two will be huge , but once word gets out people will stop going . 
let's just hope the upcoming red planet is better than this and isn't hurt by the negativity this film is generating . 
i'd venture to say it won't be worse than this waste of time . 
[pg] 
"
"-1","retrospective : city of the living dead ( 1980 ) 
a film review by mike watson copyright 1997 mike watson 
i once heard someone describe the films of italian schlock horror director lucio fulci as "" dim-witted "" . 
and by golly , just about all other words fail me when confronted with a dog like city of the living dead . 
although the late fulci managed some rather good thrillers in his career , this is not one of them . 
two points in the movie's favour - the impressive camerawork of sergio salvati and occasionally evocative score by fabio frizzi - keep things from falling totally into the abyss , but by and large city of the living dead is a failure . 
and like most cinematic failures , it comes down to bad writing , dumb performances and lousy direction . 
the story starts in new york when , during a seance , a medium ( katherine mccoll ) sees a vision of a priest hanging himself in the town of dunwich , massachusetts . 
for reasons we won't go into here , this opens the gates of hell which must be closed by all saints day or the dead will rise and walk the earth . 
the medium apparently dies of fright during the seance , but awakens in her coffin in the graveyard the next day and is rescued by a crusty old journalist ( christopher george ) . 
that scene in itself is a howler : why would you bust open a coffin with a large pick axe when you know someone is alive inside ? 
and don't cadavers have various things stuffed in them and drained out of them before they're buried ? 
anyway , off the two of them go to dunwich to save the world , where various grisly goings-on are already happening as all saints day approaches . 
fulci's graphic gore is in evidence once again , but here it only serves to further highlight the film's flimsy script and plodding direction . 
the dialogue , in all manner of speaking , is unspeakable . 
not bad in the quotable sense , like an ed wood film , but bad in its sheer dullness or blatantly obvious "" lets explain the plot "" type approach . 
mccoll doesn't have a clue who her character is : deadly serious one minute , frivolous the next , she at times is genuinely hard to watch . 
and the geezer ( the actor's name escapes me ) who plays the town psychiatrist becomes even harder to stomach than mccoll as the film progresses . 
christopher george's performance is salvageable , but he gets his brains ripped out in the end by a zombie and we don't care . 
in fact we don't care for anyone in city of the living dead , though in other fulci films that hasn't mattered so much when he was on form as a stylist and an ideas man , as he was in the beyond . 
as a director , some of fulci' idiosyncrasies are incredibly silly and annoying here . 
he constantly uses extreme close-ups of people's eyes , a ridiculous technique which suggests an attempt to convey the emotion that his dialogue and actors aren't capable of . 
and despite some gruesome violence , he barely manages a single scare in the entire film . 
long-time collaborator fabio frizzi , talented but always erratic , offers a patchy soundtrack that veers between eerie , gothic death marches and woefully inappropriate electro-pop that's quite frankly embarrassing . 
fulci's other films of this period may be flawed - house by the cemetery , the beyond , the black cat - but they are nonetheless films with more inspiration , atmosphere and better dialogue than this turkey . 
for completists only . 
"
"-1","you know the plot : a dimwit with a shady past is seduced into committing a crime only to be double-crossed by a fatal femme . 
in "" palmetto , "" the dimwit is harry barber ( woody harrelson ) , a reporter who's just been released from prison ( he was framed by the gangsters and corrupt officials he was investigating ) . 
enter la femme : rhea malroux ( elisabeth shue ) , the sexy young wife of the richest man in palmetto , florida ( rolf hoppe ) . 
she and her stepdaughter odette ( chlo ? sevigny ) have a plot to extort 500k from the old man : harry will "" kidnap "" odette . 
after groping both women , harry agrees . 
as everyone except harry can see , he's being set up as a fall guy . 
sure enough , before long , harry has a dead body in his trunk and the cops on his tail . 
his brother-in-law ( tom wright ) , an assistant da , has hired harry to be the press liaison for the case , so harry gets a front row seat for his own manhunt ( and we get to watch him sweat-literally ) . 
there are several plot twists , of course-a couple of them even took me by surprise . 
apparently every woman in palmetto is a raving horndog , and they're on harry like he's the only bone in the kennel . 
shue vamps so broadly that i expected tex avery's wolf to show up . 
her incredible performance in "" leaving las vegas "" seems to have been a fluke . 
here , she could easily be mistaken for melanie griffith . 
shue's character is supposed to be a savvy schemer but she comes off as a brainless bimbo . 
in addition to shue and sevigny , the kennel includes gina gershon ( who filled the dimwit-with-a-shady-past role in "" bound "" ) as harry's girlfriend nina ; when harry gets out of jail , she licks his face ( now there's a horndog ) . 
the parts are so overplayed that with a little push "" palmetto "" could have been an over-the-top parody of film noir a la "" romeo is bleeding . "" 
as it is , it's best watched at 2am on showtime ( the love scenes seem to have been written for one of that channel's soft porn programs anyway ) . 
 "" palmetto "" has a well-known director , volker schl ? ndorff , who's best known for his adaptations of major literary works , especially "" the tin drum . "" 
i suppose he must have been drawn to this plot-by-numbers script by the same admiration for classic film noir that led scorsese to remake "" cape fear . "" 
schl ? ndorff tries hard-he makes an interesting motif out of the ubiquitous palmetto bugs-but nothing can freshen up this stale script . 
"
"-1","the comet-disaster flick is a disaster alright . 
directed by tony scott ( top gun ) , it tells the story about an asteroid the size of texas caught on a collision course with earth . 
and you thought that dinky little comet in deep impact was trouble . 
jeez . 
after a great opening , in which an american spaceship , plus the city of new york , are completely destroyed by a comet shower , nasa detects the said asteroid and go into a frenzy . 
they hire the world's best oil driller ( bruce willis ) , and send him and his crew up into space to fix our globel problem . 
that's like sending a mouse into a cat carrier , isn't it ? 
the action in armageddon are so over the top , nonstop , and too ludicrous for words , i had to sigh and hit my head with my notebook a couple of times . 
i was not alone . 
plus , to see a wonderful actor like billy bob thornton is a film like armageddon is a waste of the actor's talents . 
the film is just a reel to show off a bunch of snazzy fx shots . 
the only real reason for making this film was to somehow out-perform deep impact . 
producer jerry bruckheimer fails with armageddon . 
"
"-1","years ago , robin williams made _jumanji_ , a brilliant achievement in special effects , but a travesty on nearly every other level . 
the same can be said for _what dreams may come_ , a boring , illogical , weepie-wannabe that left my senses numb . 
don't get me wrong : i love breathtaking special effects and pulse-pounding imagery . 
_brazil_ is on my personal top ten . 
_the city of lost children_ is a great film because of its outlandish scenarios . 
i even love _2001_ and _last year at marienbad_ , being in the minority amidst my friends . 
_what dreams may come_ , imagery aside , has little daring thought to complement its imagery . 
the daring thought it _does_ have is never fully realized . 
it's idea of a plot is so lukewarm , that it insults the bigger questions it raises . 
it would have been better if the filmmakers rid the film of the live action sequences , put on an electronica soundtrack , and sell it as one of those popular _mind's eye_ videos . 
robin williams plays chris nielsen , who dies too prematurely--not only in the story , but before we have a chance to really know and care for him . 
the director , vincent ward , and the screenwriter ronald bass , have chosen to tell his life story in flashbacks while having the foreground story focus on his experience with the afterlife . 
big mistake . 
it would have been far better to take the half-hour or so needed to tell his life story first ( ala _it's a wonderful life_ ) , so that i can build up respect for him , so i could know and possibly care for him , his children , and his long-suffering wife ( played superbly by annabella sciorra ) . 
instead , the filmmakers insult my intelligence by rushing into the story , expecting that the film to grow in depth as it progresses . 
it doesn't . 
so in the afterlife , chris learns that ( a ) people still don't meet god , ( b ) that our thoughts are reality , and ( c ) time does not exist there . 
hmm . . . 
i+ll grant one of those silly giant ideas for the sake of the narrative . 
 ( the "" not meeting god "" part still irks at me , but perhaps there was no possible way to film it and give it due respect ) . 
that said , this alternate reality still makes no possible sense . 
read on . . . 
chris' wife commits suicide . 
since suicides go to hell , chris would be separated from his wife forever . 
the important question is , is heaven really heaven if you are separated from the one you love ? 
good question . 
and i like good thought-provoking questions . 
i don+t like it when the filmmakers deviate from the question . 
i _loathe_ it when the filmmakers deviate from the question so that the film becomes a popular rescue film , especially a rescue film which does not take its underlying premise seriously . 
i _really_ loathe it when it+s story is no longer run by logic , but by special effects . 
hey chris : did you forget ? 
your thoughts are _real_ . 
they are more _real_ than the physical world , according to the new-age screenplay . 
so , why don+t you conjure up positive thoughts of annie , and let that run wild ? 
and then she would appear before you , and you two would live in happy bliss for eternity ? 
because there would be no movie , that+s why . 
and albert the angel ( played by miscast cuba gooding , jr . ) says bluntly : "" that+s fantasy . "" 
umm . . . 
if your thoughts are more real than the physical , then fantasy is not fantasy , but real . 
surely some eastern meditation specialist would be able to tell you that . 
and if you happen to think that you are an unimaginative person , and that your thoughts aren't big enough to sustain you for eternity , well , in all due respect , that's why i don't subscribe to this theology . 
all due respect . 
another idea , based on "" time , ( pause ) , does not exist here ! "" 
so chris , spend your eternity with annie , as she is on earth , reliving your favorite memories , or hang out with her when she was growing up . 
you+ve got eternity : perhaps you can hang around long enough and learn not to freak her out . 
and forcing her to write "" i still exist "" in her diary , imo , is just too tacky . 
there are many other ideas , all of which are a hundred times better than what+s unraveled in the plot . 
the great aforementioned question is sidetracked into gimmicky subplots that have been done before , and just come out stale . 
most insulting is the subplot where important people in chris+ life appear in heaven differently than he expects , so when they finally show themselves , he realizes they were with him all along . 
and when this happens , the film runs in slow motion , as if to build emotion . 
_gag me with a spoon_ . 
so the only things for me to like are sciorra+s effective performance , who rises far above this mundane material , and the special effects . 
please note that while i enjoyed some of the visuals , i did not enjoy _all_ of them : some of the images looked like sandy duncan universe , everybody floating up and down in invisible strings . 
it sounds like a joke , but it+s really true : i really tried to block out the dialogue , and figure out what music would best work as an alternative soundtrack . 
my vote goes to a rare cd called "" never say die "" ( 1981 ) from petra , a christian rock group . 
it+s pretty good , and they have a song about annie , who commits suicide . 
 ( it+s too late for annie/she+s gone away for good/there+s so much we'd have told her/and now we wish we could/but it+s too late . . . ) . 
melancholic , yes . 
depressing , yes . 
but far more entertaining . . . 
so , in case you don+t know , let me be straight . 
suicide--bad . 
_don+t do it_ . 
no . no . no . ( got it ? --you 
shouldn+t have to pay $7 . 50 to hear this in an awful robin williams schmaltzfest . ) 
"
"-1","the original _babe_ was my favorite movie of 1995 , a sleeper hit that transcended its target audience . 
being a surprise commercial and critical success , it had no marketing tie-ins , which limited its final take . 
thus , babe 2 arrives , with a budget greater than the money made in babe 1 . 
plush dolls , vending machines hawking t-shirts , and macy's thanksgiving day balloons arrive for holiday money-grubbing . 
too late . 
this is a sad review to write , because babe 2 not only does _not_ live up to the original , but it doesn't even come to a fraction of it . 
i shouldn't expect that sequels to modern fairy tales to match their predecessors' magic , but this film tries too hard , and loses its charm . 
consider a driver applying the accelerator with great intensity , unaware that his car is in neutral . 
imagine with me , if you will , _scream_'s jamie kennedy , explaining the "" rules "" for sequels like babe 2 . 
 ( 1 ) there must be _more_ talking animals . 
 ( 2 ) there must be _more_ slapstick comedy . 
 ( 3 ) there must be _more_ songs for those mice to sing : that's cute . 
 ( 4 ) keep the story cards to break up the action : that's cute too , even though "" the pig gets wise "" made no sense , given the context of that story partition . 
 ( 5 ) there must be action , however illogical , that will conjure up pivotal scenes from the original : the trademark song that nobody remembers the words to , the baa-ram-ewe secret code , the "" that'll do , pig . 
that'll do . "" 
now throw in the limitations : ( a ) james cromwell , now a hot commodity , has limited time on the set ( or maybe he didn't approve of the script ) . 
 ( b ) christine cavanaugh , the voice of the original babe , demands more money ( $200 , 000--paltry considering the $80 million budget ) . 
out . 
e . g . 
daily comes in with noticable results . 
 ( c ) george miller , the director , is more well-known for his dark futuristic mad max films and his twilight zone segment , not for kiddie fare ( and no , he didn't direct that _andre_ film in '94 ) . 
 ( d ) the special effects are impressive , _but limited_ . 
babe talks , but most of the time from a single shot , repeated over and over again . 
 ( babe is center screen , looking straight into the camera , with a happy smirk--regardless of whether he's happy , or scared , or tired ) . 
season now with the "" original "" elements , which , as we will find out , are straight from the screenwriting-is-hell bin . 
 ( i ) change the venue into "" the big city "" . 
this has been praised as wildly original . 
excuse me : didn't _home alone_ do this several years ago ? 
how about the muppets ? 
even _the bad news bears_ travelled to tokyo . 
sorry . 
no dice . 
side note : to give the city a fairy-tale look , george miller crafted a fantastical fantasyland that merges the landmarks of the world's great cities , and yes , it _is_ impressive . 
but this too is over-used , repeating the same view over and again on multiple occasions . 
and , for the most part , babe _remains in the hotel_ . 
 ( ii ) given the limitations of cromwell , the human element is taken over by "" the boss' wife "" played by magda szubanski . 
s-t-r-e-t-c-h . 
she's not a lead actress-type , she's not funny enough in her physical comedy , and she's simply embarrassing in some of her pratfalls . 
 ( have her arrested falsely on drug charges ! 
have her accidentally incite a riot with biker dudes and scantily clad babes ! 
have her bounce around on a bungee cord at a prestigious benefit dinner ! ) 
i was hoping for a little smirk during these scenes , but i felt sorry for the embarrassment that she put herself in . 
i am restraining myself from talking about the dark nature of the film , the violence , the scene where a pit bull dangles from the bridge , head submerged underwater . 
even the best fairy tales have a bit of the macabre in it , as the brothers grimm have demonstrated . 
no . . . my problem is with the story , or lack thereof . 
_babe_ is sent out to save the hoggett farm , but once in the city , that story is forgotten . 
being a good-natured pig in the midst of the cynicism of his environs is nice , but , other than rescue that aforementioned pit bull , what did babe actually _do_ ? 
without giving the ending away , the farm is saved from a left-field quirk that had nothing to do with the pig . 
speaking of "" pig "" , or , "" pig-pig-pig-pig-pig ! "" . 
the word "" pig "" is so overused , had they changed it to an expletive , and had the pig be al pacino , i could have been watching _scarface_ . 
this is screenwriting ? 
further , i cannot explain the deep gnaw at my gut in the many scenes where accidents happen to good people in fantastically elaborate setups . 
had it been a cartoon , and the victim be an equivalent of elmer fudd , maybe my reaction would have been softened . 
but to farmer hoggett ? 
his wife ? 
an elderly mickey rooney ? 
much too irreverent . 
 ( "" quick ! 
splice those singing mice into those scenes ! "" ) . 
the film isn't a colossal failure . 
i did like glenne headley's schmoozy chimpanzee . 
i liked the pink poodle . 
the dog on the cart , who momentarily thinks he's in dog heaven . 
and a weird looking guy who may have been doubly-cast as an airport employee and a judge . 
but most of the time , i was looking down , in boredom , or in embarrassment over the hacked-up script . 
them singing mice , those chapter partitions , the proficient acting of the animals-- none of these can compensate for a story . 
let me spoil the final scene : farmer hoggett looks at pig , proud , says "" that'll do , pig . 
that'll do . "" 
that's it . 
hope i didn't ruin it for you . 
but tell me this : what the heck did that pig _do_ ? 
"
"-1","at first i was intrigued by the strange cast and odd creatures on the galaxy quest trailer , but that was before i saw the film . 
now my view has completely changed . 
it's time to embrace for impact , because this is a very bumpy ride . 
the story begins with the cast of galaxy quest including : jason nesmith ( tim allen ) , alexander dane ( alan rickman ) , gwen demarco ( sigourney weaver ) signing autographs at a convention . 
they meet fans who dress up in costumes , fans who worship the ground they walk on , and a group of aliens called thermians who believe that they are the ultimate saviors against the dreaded alien colony lead by sarris ( robin sachs ) . 
of course they are unaware of this until they actually begin performing their duties , and meet the ugly aliens themselves . 
thus begins the long adventure to help save the thermians . 
the movie plays like a really bad star trek episode , in fact it's worse . 
i don't even think trekkies will appreciate this weak spoof , because quite frankly it's just not funny . 
all the jokes are basically collected observations from the series . 
one such continuous joke involves a simple crew member who believes he will die in space , because no extra on the tv show ever lives , as proven in the star trek series . 
creative jokes like this may seem like a clever idea , but not when they are used to death . 
a person can only take so much . 
we do not need to be tortured , especially when you have to pay for it . 
it's pretty bad when even tim allen is pitiful . 
it's not like i expected an oscar worthy performance form him , but a few laughs would have been helpful . 
speaking of acting , 2 fine talents were wasted as well . 
sigourney weaver was here to show cleavage , well at least it worked . 
it's pretty bad when the only entertaining value of the film is cleavage . 
it just shows you how disgraceful the film really is . 
alan rickman however was not so lucky . 
after his last hit ( dogma ) he embarrasses himself by doing this sloppy mess . 
it's just a shame to see talented actors and actresses throw their ability away . 
when the film couldn't get any worse , thankfully some nice special effects pop up . 
like many big blockbusters ( armageddon , the haunting to name a few ) they rely heavily on effects to help boost the film's box office results . 
times it works , but unfortunately we have to shell out hard earned money and suffer through this junk . 
when will it stop ? 
i am getting tired of being suckered into seeing such trash . 
it may look fine and dandy , but we need to at least have a story . 
is that too much to ask ? 
obviously it is . 
when galaxy quest finally ends , it literally crash lands . 
aside from the impressive looking creatures from industrial light and magic , it's an embarrassment to the cast , and it's embarrassing to the science fiction genre . 
it's not the least bit fun , nor was it entertaining . 
the only place where this movie belongs is to infinity and beyond . 
"
"-1","the makers of spawn have created something almost as vacuous as this summer's other comic book adaptation , batman and robin . 
both films make the mistake of adapting for the screen not only the look of their graphic counterparts , but also their monosyllabic dialogue and empty-headed character motivations . 
in panel-sized morsels , implausible plots and "" rambo "" -esque dialogue are often overshadowed by the artwork , but on thirty foot silver screens , it's much more difficult to dismiss the shallowness behind the pretty pictures . 
spawn is ostensibly about an assassin named simmons ( white ) who is framed by a corporate baddie ( played without irony by sheen ) , then set on fire and left for dead . 
though the movie skimps on the next few plot points , here's what i could determine : said assassin then becomes the leader of satan's army , under the tutelage of a flatulating midget named clown ( leguizamo , grating as always ) . 
he is renamed , for reasons unbeknownst , spawn , and granted a really cool costume that enables him to become something of a human chameleon . 
but when spawn spies on a birthday party for his child , he realizes that he can't be the evil superdemon he's expected to be , and he sets about avenging his untimely death . 
typical of summer blockbusters , spawn is an effects-laden ninety minute rock video . 
while the visions of hell are laughably crude ( think the virtual reality sequences of the lawnmower man ) , spawn's prehensile outfit and the action sequences are truly something to behold . 
but the storytelling is completely lacking in emotion ( spawn longs for his wife , but they don't have a single scene together before simmons' death ! ) , conflict ( who will triumph is not anybody's guess ) , and believability ( not that i expected it ) . 
so many questions are left unanswered , and i'm sure they won't be addressed in the inevitable sequel . 
while last year's the crow : city of angels suffered similar problems with its narrative ( which was lazy and somewhat incoherent ) , it had atmosphere to spare and genuine moments of hypnotic power . 
spawn is an in-your-face , screaming banshee of a film ; these guys know how to graft a comic book onto celluloid , but they haven't the faintest idea how to make a movie . 
"
"-1","phaedra cinema , the distributor of such never-heard-of classics as "" soft toilet seats , "" "" trailer : the movie , "" and "" the one armed boxer vs . the flying guillotine , "" has sneaked its latest release , "" the sculptress , "" into a few theaters this weekend hoping to cash in on a handful of halloween holidaygoers looking for a right good scare . 
 "" the sculptress "" is a scary proposition all right , but not in the way its producers intended . 
from the outset it's easy to see why some of the larger , more reputable chains aren't carrying it : the film looks like a straight-to-video release from the early '80s that's been dusted off ( not very carefully ) and re-issued in theatrical format . 
that staple of schlocky z-movies jeff fahey ( "" the lawnmower man "" ) plays a washed-up shakespearean actor lacking in some basic people skills . 
when he's not reliving his glory days in his ramshackle nob hill apartment , screaming scotch-induced "" hamlet "" soliloquies well into the night , he's out and about on the streets of san francisco stalking loose women . 
fahey's dobie sizes up his victims ( actually just one , a peep show performer name of sylvie ) dressed like one of the guys from kraftwerk , and approaches them in the ridiculous attire of a bavarian count replete with a cane , dark glasses , and a false beard ( just in time for halloween ! ) . 
 "" do you have a castle ? "" 
sylvie asks dobie seductively when he flashes the bulging contents of his wallet outside a coffee shop . 
 "" jah . 
with ze many turrets "" is dobie's perplexing reply . 
the real "" star "" of the film ( and i use that term extremely loosely ) is katie wright , who plays the sculptress of the title . 
sarah is new in town , studying at the prestigious sf art institute under the mentorship of a "" genius "" frenchman , played by the beret-wearing patrick bauchau . 
that's convenient , because sarah would one day like to live and work in paris ( you won't believe the film's final shot , with its cheesy eiffel tower backdrop and "" rosemary's baby "" -inspired imagery ) . 
bauchau's character criticizes sarah's work publicly ( her clay busts keep turning into gargoyles--perhaps she's possessed . . . 
by an incubus ! ! ? ) but he still manages to talk her into dinner . 
whereas wright does a decent english accent , her talents pretty much end there . 
on the other side of the wall , dobie's troubled past is succinctly summarized in a scene in which he thumbs through an old scrapbook of newspaper clippings with headings like "" actor delivers a stunning macbeth , "" actor courted by hollywood studio , "" "" actor renounces hollywood for priesthood , "" and "" prostitute fingers priest in sex scandal . "" 
the film's plot could have been just as easily condensed . 
 "" artist moves in next door to shakespearean psychopath . "" 
 "" yawns ensue . "" 
so dobie rants and raves and sarah chips away at large blocks of granite till way past their bedtimes . 
late in the film , their paths finally cross with mind-numbing results . 
nobody else in the apartment complex appears to mind all the racket , but one old dear does go ballistic when sarah's bathtub overflows . 
no , we don't see wright in the tub ( or fahey for that matter ) , and the gore quotient is virtually nil , so for a horror film "" the sculptress "" is surprisingly lacking . 
the only thing worth looking at is san francisco , and writer/director ian merrick manages to make even it look dreary , windswept , and deserted . 
 "" the sculptress "" isn't even bad enough to be fun . 
luckily , a limited release has made it easy to avoid . 
"
"-1","here is a movie that sadly follows the hong kong-recipe of moviemaking and storytelling to the letter . 
these kinds of movies are marked by an eye-opening sequence that introduces us to the main characters ; a life-and-death plot in which these characters become involved ; the inclusion of a host of inconsequential characters ; ridiculous subplots , and sunglass-wearing henchmen . 
that is not to say that i don't like hong kong influenced movies ; however , it is quite obvious that these moviemakers haven't a clue that the american filmgoer needs more than hip-hop-talking thugs and stupid sight gags . 
observe the opening sequence . 
a band of hitmen are about to storm an apartment , led by melvin ( mark wahlberg ) and cisco ( lou diamond phillips ) . 
they are waiting for their partner to cut off the power so that they can storm the apartment with the help of infrared goggles . 
however , their partner is unsure of which cable to cut . 
he is undecided . 
this happens for about 10 seconds . 
the audience finds some humor in his foolishness . 
the lights suddenly go out . 
cisco is surprised and says : "" whoa . . . let's 
go ! "" 
and they storm the apartment in a very nicely executed sequence . 
the big hit of the title refers to a kidnapping that happens a quarter of the way through the film . 
needing cash , cisco devises a plan to kidnap the daughter ( china chow ) of wealthy japanese industrialist jiro nishi . 
however , the daughter is also the god-daughter of paris ( avery brooks ) , who is cisco's and melvin's boss . 
infuriated and insufferable , paris commands cisco to uncover the mastermind of the kidnapping . 
during his 'investigation' , cisco singles out melvin as the ringleader , and paris orders his capture and execution . 
melvin must now find a way to stay alive . 
by the way , do you know how the investigation takes place ? 
cisco's partner makes the ransom phone call believing that his call will not be traced because of a trace buster that prevents tracing . 
but , mr . nishi has a trace buster buster . 
to counter that , cisco's partner has a trace buster buster buster . 
but nishi has a trace buster buster buster buster . 
and so on . . . 
there is no doubt that this is an interesting world in which they live . 
and there are lots of issues that we'd like to know more about . 
how does melvin justify his profession to his fiancee ? 
what goes on among this clique ? 
why is cisco at odds with melvin ? 
there is actually a lot of potential material that could have been explored , but it seems that no effort is made to go in that direction , and instead we are given a not-so-engrossing plot filled with one-liners , silly sight gags , extraneous sub-plots and tomfoolery . 
and , i haven't even mentioned his financee's visiting parents who want them to separate , nor melvin's mistress , nor the pimple-faced video clerk demanding the return of an overdue video and on and on and on . 
if the big hit signals the future of hong kong style movies that are made for american audiences , then shoot me now . 
"
"-1","after the huge success of "" the exorcist "" in 1973 a sequel was inevitable , and sadly like most horror fims that make money , the filmmakers decided to make a ridiculous sequel , that makes absolutely no sense at all , and to me was extremely pointless , wasting linda blair and max von sydow completely . 
needless , dumb sequel flopped in the box office , and never gained much success though it is voted as one of the worst sequels of all time , to which i agree with . 
to start the "" story "" it is four years later , and regan is being tormented by memories of what used to be , now a priest played by richard burton , is trying to figure out why this demon tried to possess regan , and now the demon somehow wants to possess her again ( maybe she was good or something ) . 
now they must try to stop this demon from taking over regan's body , before it is too late . 
some of the bad things exorcist ii has in it is : linda blair , she had no need to revive her character , and she is really terrible in this film , she brings it down to a lull , and in places it seems like it just stops in its place , and doesn't go anywhere . 
louise fletcher is alright for what it's worth , but she could have done a lot better than this . 
the direction by john boorman , is that of a confused , stylish nature that i really couldn't figure out . 
in fact , i had no idea what was going on in this film , the script was jumbled , the plot was jumbled , and the ending is just laugh out loud hilariosly bad . 
for those exorcist fans who haven't seen this one , i recommend renting it . 
i actually gave this one a high rating , if it were any worse it would have deserved zero pumpkins , i went easy on it however because of the fact that it has a bit of good direction , but nothing else ! 
im not saying i like the film now , so dont start going anywhere . 
bad , bad , bad movie . 
"
"-1","the people who populate the movie 54 are shallow , self-absorbed and self-indulgent . 
in other words , they perfectly mirror the era as well as the movie this feature depicts . 
54 is the story of that well-publicized new york disco , studio 54 , the in-place in the '70s where anybody who was anybody went to be ogled , photographed and pampered . 
the difficulty with 54 , which was written and directed by mark christopher , is that his script takes no point of view . 
christopher neither condemns nor glorifies the legendary excesses that were studio 54's hallmark . 
he keeps an uninvolved distance , thus keeping us from forming any emotional attachment with any of the protagonists . 
the movie's one main asset is the surprising performance by mike myers as steve rubell , the famous owner of the nightspot . 
he is part rebel , part dreamer , part shrewd entrepreneur . 
he's smart enough and childlike enough to pander to the dreams and desires of his clientele , yet stupid enough to brag on tv about hiding profits from the irs . 
myers , in his first straight character part , is in turn appealing and appalling . 
at one moment he can try to pressure a male employee into a sexual situation , then at the next moment apologize for his bad behavior and offer the young man a handful of cash . 
the story is told by shane o'shea ( ryan phillippe ) , a new jersey lad who dreams of crossing the river to the big apple . 
shades of john travolta's brooklyn-bound tony in saturday night fever . 
eventually , shane does come to new york , attracts rubell's eye and is admitted to the promised land . 
his looks get him a job as a busboy , and he is later promoted to the prestigious position of bartender , where he mixes with and makes drinks for the rich and famous . 
shane's dream is to meet soap star julie black ( neve campbell ) , a fellow garden stater . 
but both characters are so sketchily drawn that even when they do hook up , it's no big deal . 
the chemistry between shane and julie is nonexistent . 
54 is a very cold , uninvolving movie . 
it's all strobe lights and glitz , all substance . 
it's sort of like the musical era it covers . 
"
"-1","i've always been a kevin kline fan , silverado , fish called wanda , pirates of penzance , and even his hamlet on pbs' great performances . 
the minute i saw the trailer for this film , i resolved to see it . 
besides the fact that kline starred , it looked like a hilarious film . 
i got sucker punched by the trailer to an extent , however , as i also thought , "" wow , if there's this much funny stuff in the trailer , there must be a ton of laughs in the rest of the film . "" 
 ( oops ) i packed up the wife and headed to les cinemas del diablo ( my name for our local multi-multi-plex . ) 
the film began . . . . 
the film concerns an english/drama teacher at a suburban high school , named howard brackett . 
he loves poetry and great literary works , but his class is more interested in his famous former student , played by matt dillon . 
 ( i'd put in his name , but my wife won't let me take notes during a movie and i've forgotten it . ) 
they continually interrupt his long poetic expositions with fawning questions about him . 
brackett has been engaged to another teacher ( played by joan cusack ) for three years , and has finally gotten up the gumption to marry her . 
the wedding , however , becomes the big question mark of the film as this famous student of his says during the live oscar broadcast that brackett is a homosexual . 
kline spends most of the first two-thirds of the film frantically trying to convince everyone that he isn't . 
the whole town begins to examine every detail of his life and begins to identifying all those things that confirm his sexual preference . 
his closest friends don't help matters , bringing nothing but barbara streisand laserdiscs to his stag party . 
there are some genuinely hilarous moments , one involving a tape geared towards helping men assert their masculinity . 
kline is hounded by a gay reporter played by tom selleck , who waxes poetic on the benefits of coming out , while at the same time doing his best to exploit the situation for his own sleazy tabloid machinations . 
the movie moves along fine and slowly builds to the climax of the wedding . 
kline stands at the altar and is asked to take his vows . . . 
if you want to be surprised , don't read , i am going to reveal the ending . 
 . . . instead of saying "" i do "" in front of his parents and most of the town , and even some cameras , he says "" i'm gay . "" 
this is where the movie , in my opinion falls apart . 
most of the humor in the film had come from kline's insistence that he was straight , while at the same time , loving poetry and being a senstivie guy , dressing well , and occaisionally acting prissy . 
it reminded me of the "" effeminate heterosexual "" sketch from saturday night live . 
it was funny , it was sustainably funny , and kline's performance made it doubly so . 
however , after the wedding , the film drags on . 
they should have attempted to come to a quick conclusion , but it then gets into the serious side of what he's done . 
he reconciles with his parents and his friends , some of which had turned on him . 
there are several scenes which seemed like a waste of time , the scene with his mother and her friends , which was hilarious , seemed pointless , and the scene with tom selleck in the bar with joan seemed pointless . 
finally , even though i am not catholic , i found the scene with the priest to be condescending . 
the preist cannot believe that a man was engaged for three years and had not consumated the relationship , proclaiming to brackett in the third person , "" he's gay . "" 
it got a chuckle from the audience , but i was distracted by it , and began to tire of the film . 
by the time the wedding had come and gone , i found myself hoping it would be over soon . 
 ( much like this review you are saying ) 
overall , if i have to quantify it , i say , rising action gets * * * * and climax and falling action gets . 
see it in economy time . 
"
"-1","a month ago i wrote that speed 2 was the worst film i've ever reviewed on paper . 
i didn't know at the time that i'd soon encounter and despise batman & robin , which has just overtaken speed 2 as the picture least worthy of your attention this summer . 
as directed by joel schumacher ( who now specializes in batman sequels and john grisham adaptations and isn't very good at either ) , b & r is one long excuse for a taco bell promotion . 
the plot , which has mr . freeze and poison ivy ( uma thurman ) planning to take over gotham city and then "" the vorld "" ( as an oddly ineffective schwarzenegger states ) , is weighted down by repetitive asides about the nature of trust , partnership , blah , blah , blah . 
but morals are not the point of this film--topping each bloated , confusing action scene with next one is . 
the garish art direction and overlit cinematography make this picture oddly comparable to the trashy showgirls . 
since when did gotham city become a giant las vegas hotel ? 
only george clooney comes out on top ; he underplays nicely and pretends like he's in a real movie . 
"
"-1","call "" hush "" "" stop or my mom will kill . "" 
or "" mommy fearest . "" 
or "" the hand that robs the cradle . "" 
call it whatever you want , but certainly don't see it unless you're in desperate need of a bad movie-induced chuckle -- "" hush "" scores so many unintentional guffaws that it almost qualifies as a guilty pleasure . 
chalk its losses up to frequent stupidity lapses and apparent post-production tinkering ( it was supposed to open about a year ago ) , the latter of which appears to have given "" hush "" a send-off that's downright infuriating . 
it's too bad that "" hush "" is so laughable , because the on-screen talent -- including the pairing of gwyneth paltrow and jessica lange -- is nothing to laugh at . 
paltrow and johnathon schaech play helen and jackson , a photogenic new york couple on their way to spend christmas vacation at his wealthy , well-to-do family's horse farm/estate kilronan . 
jackson's mother martha ( lange ) runs kilronan all by herself , and her genteel southern hospitality makes helen feel welcome immediately -- even if her first meeting with martha takes place while helen is in the altogether , caught red-handed after a bedroom romp with her husband-to-be . 
but it seems that martha's friendly smile masks a much more threatening demeanor ; she's what you'd call someone who loves too much . 
martha eagerly , deviously wants a grandchild , and then helen will be expendable , as far as she's concerned . 
if there's one reason to catch "" hush , "" it's lange . 
she treats the pedestrian screenplay better than it deserves to be treated , injecting martha ( poorly written though she may be ) with a little empathy to level out the psycho-playing field . 
when she delves into martha's dark side , predictable cliches -- chain-smoking , staring in mirrors , praying in a confessional to a priest who isn't there , poking a hole in helen's diaphragm so she'll become pregnant ( and she does ) -- abound , but it's moderately entertaining junk because lange is such an interesting actress to watch . 
veteran performer nina foch is smart and tart as jackson's wheelchair-bound paternal grandmother . 
the rest of the cast looks ill and uncomfortable , especially paltrow . 
but can you really blame them ? 
the character relationships in "" hush "" hold a certain amount of promise , at least until their psychological impact is blown out of the water by sheer stupidity . 
idiotic situations ( martha yells at a nearby horse so it will bolt up and knock helen over ) compliment idiotic dialogue ( "" why did you yell ? "" 
helen yells back at martha ) , and the film takes the form of one of the shoddier fill in the blank-from-hell flicks ever made . 
you can see through a great deal of martha's actions and lies from their conception ; why do people who have known this woman for years longer than we have never figure things out ? 
does nobody communicate or read the newspaper in this town ? 
if any of her potential victims thought , acted or behaved like normal people , "" hush "" would be a really short movie . 
and then there's the climax and ending , which abruptly come when helen starts having contractions after eating some pound cake spiked with a labor-inducing drug normally used on horses . 
after a really weird chase scene , martha calmly knits in a rocking chair while forcing helen to give birth in a bed all by herself . 
i won't spoil what happens next except to say that it's contradictory , illogical and ( probably , since i'm no doctor ) medically impossible . 
the final scene offers no closure , no resolution , no confrontation whatsoever . 
it's just there , dangling amidst silent displeasure . 
no one should like this ending , regardless of their feelings on the preceding material . 
perhaps "" hush "" 's title is a plea to silence its audience's likely bitter word of mouth while exiting the theater . 
"
"-1","a big , busy boxing satire with a surprisingly paltry punch , the great white hype stars samuel l . jackson as a shameless boxing promoter whose plan to boost sagging pay-per-view revenues is to "" invent "" a white contender ( peter berg ) to challenge his black heavyweight "" champ "" ( damon wayans ) . 
 ( the logic is that people will pay more to see black vs . white than black vs . black . ) 
he may be right , in an absurdly accurate way , but the film doesn't give us a reason to care . 
as a scathing sports spoof , hype is just that : unfunny , unfocused , and , at times , just plain pointless . 
as a commentary on race relations , it's even * less * effective . 
the dialogue is the best of this mess , lines like jon lovitz exclaiming "" i cannot make caviar out of fish eggs ! "" 
writers tony hendra and ron shelton also do good on the street slang , though we never hear enough of it . 
the script isn't strong enough , though , to support the aggressive camera work of director reginald hudlin ( house party ) . 
he comes across as absolute overkill . 
the great white hype * almost * turns around at the end , at the big match , when hudlin attempts an extended gag of rock-concert proportions . 
with costumed dwarfs , gangsta rappers , and the "" champ "" dressed as death , only then do we get a glimpse of the spoof that should've been . 
"
"-1","i know there were times during this movie that i laughed pretty hard . 
the problem is , i can't remember them as i write this review . 
that's not a good sign . 
in booty call , jamie foxx is bunz , a character whom i can't really describe , because i don't know that much about him . 
i only know that he likes to shoot dice on the sidewalk , and that he doesn't like relationships , just "" booty calls "" at three in the morning ( no questions , no commitment ) . 
bunz has a best friend named rushon ( tommy davidson ) , who seems to be bunz's direct opposite : on the straight and narrow , and currently in a long-term commitment ( a whole seven weeks , wow ! ) . 
rushon wants to finally sleep with his girlfriend , nikki ( tamala jones ) , but for a reason which is not totally explained , it's going to happen after a double date with bunz and nikki's friend lysterine ( vivica a . fox ) , who have never met . 
to make a long story short , the two couples pair off and spend the rest of the evening having their attempts to do the deed spoiled by nikki's obsession with safe sex . 
first she wants condoms , so bunz and rushon go out and get them . 
oh , no , they have to be latex , not lambskin . 
back to the store . 
now they've got to get dental dams , or there'll be no foreplay . 
why are both couples stopped each time nikki makes a demand ? 
nikki phones lysterine , who lives across the hall , and tells her she'd better be making these demands , too . 
talk about coitus interruptus . 
booty call is a film that does not know whether it wants to be a regular comedy or one of those over-the-top comedies . 
the difference between the two is that in the latter , things constantly happen which are so far removed from reality . 
in this category , for example , you have ace ventura : private eye on the mild side , and airplane ! 
at the extreme . 
there are times during booty call where the film steps out of its shell and tries for this status , but then too often quickly retreats to the safety of convention . 
it is disappointing , and even worse , distracting . 
there are also instances where the screenplay by takashi bufford and bootsie parker ( are those real names ? ) 
does not live up to its potential , as jokes are left unexploited or even ruined by bad writing . 
for instance , there is a scene where our main characters are in a chinese restaurant . 
bunz goes up to an asian gangster and speaks to him in fluent cantonese , much to everyone's surprise . 
however , when asked how he learned the language , he goes into this explanation of how he started picking up words from late-night kung-fu films , and soon gained mastery . 
this negated the ludicrousness of the entire scene . 
if , on the other hand , when asked how he learned to speak chinese , bunz simply replied with , "" kung-fu movies , "" and then moved on , the joke would have been much more effective . 
this is because it would have been totally unbelievable , but funny because we know it is unbelievable . 
by explaining the point and trying to make the ridiculous plausible , the film is not giving its viewers enough credit . 
the inconsistency and uncertain believability unfortunately also raise other questions . 
why are two such disparate people like bunz and rushon best friends ? 
why do rushon and nikki fix up bunz and lysterine ? 
if nikki is so obsessed with safe sex , why doesn't she have some condoms at her own apartment ? 
these questions are not answered by the screenplay , but are overlooked for the sole reason of moving the plot forward . 
a very noticeable quality of booty call is the prevalence of unnecessary foul language . 
some movies use a lot of swear words , but use them under very justifiable circumstances , as when they are employed consistent with a character's pattern of speech . 
other films , such as the recent jackie brown , use them in ways that almost parody themselves . 
booty call just sticks them in to get laughs , and it doesn't work . 
they stick out like sore thumbs because there is almost no reason to use them . 
half of the scenes seem to occur for no reason . 
the chinese restaurant , a holdup at a convenience store , and a trip to the hospital seem to have nothing to do with the story , and are in there for filler . 
this is surprising , considering that the film is less than eighty minutes long . 
it's too bad that the core of the film isn't much better , since it is comprised of sometimes funny , but forgettable dialog . 
i refer you to the first paragraph of this review . 
"
"-1","retelling the classic story of joan of arc has been a popular trend this year . 
earlier this may , leelee sobieski played the passionate title role in the top-rated miniseries that debuted on cbs . 
and now , director luc besson has delivered his version of the sweeping epic about the teenage girl supposedly sent by god to rescue france from the clutches of their enemies . 
starring milla jovovich , who is predominantly unconvincing as the heavenly messenger accused of being a witch , `the messenger : the story of joan of arc' is a disjointed and overblown historical re-enactment that prevails merely as a bloated mistreatment of the famous legend . 
besson ( who's previous work includes the hyperactive sci-fi `the fifth element' ) perhaps entrusted a bit too much faith in ex-wife jovovich , because in `the messenger' , the actress is drowning in a pool of her own inexperience . 
at first , when reports were indicating that jovovich had been chosen for such a demanding role , i was highly doubtful that her marginal talent could carry a film of such a caliber . 
after seeing the rousing trailer , my hesitant optimism suddenly skyrocketed - milla jovovich looked superb . 
with the hopeful propulsion of her stellar performance , `the messenger' looked like a timeless epic in the making . 
a timeless epic it is not . 
besson is hesitant to abandon his unique and flashy style , and the story behind `the messenger' is not entirely suited to his demands . 
on the shoulders of besson's choppy and unexciting direction , the film dissipates into an uninspiring hodgepodge of poorly executed battle sequences and bizarre imagery . 
there is no human exploration into the character of joan ( or jeanne ) . 
jovovich merely rambles on about the power of god when we have little or no insight into her visionary objective . 
jovivich's unsatisfying portrayal only helps lead to the realization that besson sees jeanne as a piece of spiritual cardboard . 
she is just another special effect in this continuous visual feast . 
jovovich does have a few isolated moments of sheer power , but mainly , she looks lost . 
quite frankly , i don't know of any actress who could successfully navigate her way through `the messenger' without a major fumble . 
the script is chock-full of laughable dialogue and unfortunate comedy , as jeanne confronts the uncrowned king charles vii ( john malkovich ) and informs him of her heavenly intentions . 
faye dunaway plays charles' overbearing mother-in-law , and dustin hoffman appears over two-hours into the story as a character dubbed ? the conscience' . 
all three actors juggle limited screen time , although malkovich is uncharacteristically awful . 
the battle scenes are extremely bloody , but with the presence of such jittery camera work , they capture none of the excitement or finesse of something like `braveheart' . 
there's a particularly graphic and unsettling scene early on , when jeanne ( as a young girl ) watches in horror from a closet as her older sister is murdered and then savagely raped by a bloodthirsty english soldier . 
even his fellow troopers are petrified . 
`the messenger' is also strictly a 90's update on the classic story . 
almost too 90's , it seems . 
there's gratuitous use of the f-word and a barrage of slang terms like `she's nuts ! ' 
sprinkled throughout the screenplay . 
i was half-expecting jeanne to invite her homeys to come chill in her crib , but it never happened . 
there's also the familiar presence of bizarre besson humor , but none of it comes even remotely close to functioning properly . 
it seems terribly misplaced , but in a catastrophe as jumbled and disjointed as `the messenger' , almost everything does . 
the musical score by erric serra is spectacular , and the set and production designs are continuously impressive . 
if it was visual excellence that besson was striving for , then he achieves his goal . 
but the only time the dramatics come alive in `the messenger' is during the closing trial , in which jeanne is found guilty and burned at the stake . 
during these moments , the historical relevance and dramatic purpose of joan of arc reaches the audience , albeit in a faint stream of light that provokes little power or meaning . 
it's just too delayed for besson to revive his lifeless interpretation , in which he is always concerned with the wrong aspects . 
`the messenger : the story of joan of arc' is an unlikely and unwelcome historical addition to the hollywood shelf . 
anyone searching for an entertaining epic is going to be painfully slapped with an overblown and confusing film . 
despite my original hopefulness , milla jovovich is not going to have to worry about thanking the academy . 
"
"-1","violence is bad . 
violence is ugly . 
violence breeds yet more violence . 
kids , don't try this at home . 
this weighty message isn't the only barrier to enjoying brother , but it's certainly one of the largest . 
written , directed by , and starring the infamous takeshi kitano ( kikujiro , sonatine ) brother is his first film made outside his familial japan , bringing the yakuza tradition to los angeles . 
 ( yakuza translated for the average american is the japanese mafia . ) 
if you piss a "" family "" member off , or dishonor yourself in any way , the usual punishment is public display of self-mutilation , usually resulting in the loss of limbs . 
a definition of dishonor can be anything from making a stupid decision to leaving one family for another . 
it would be interesting to know more about where these and other customs come from . 
unfortunately the film doesn't give too much of an explanation , assuming its audience is aware of kitano's earlier work . 
there are several shots that focus specifically on detailed tattoos that spread across the entire back of the yakuza members , leading one to assume they would be symbolic of something , but you never know what . 
then there's a scene in which a man kills himself in front of a rival in exchange for that rival joining the family . 
granted , this is one of the best scenes in the movie , but it doesn't make a lot of sense . 
instead , the two hours are basically spent watching the following : people go out and shoot each other , talk about it for ten-plus minutes , then go out and do it again . 
the consistently repetitive discussion of territory during these moments involuntarily provokes yawning . 
there are also plot details thrown in for no identifiable purpose . 
all of the sudden yamamoto ( kitano ) has a girlfriend . 
he barely speaks to her , treats her like crap , and then sends her away . 
another missed opportunity , considering it is such a big deal for kitano to bring his magic to the united states , is the combination of cultures , which rely too heavily on overused stereotypes . 
though slow moving , brother does have good elements . 
the action scenes are well directed , clearly defined , and interesting to watch . 
some of the violence is more hinted at than shown , which produces the luscious squirm that one goes to see such films for . 
the actors would be more enticing if they had more to do . 
shirase's ( masaya kato ) loud , sarcastic coolness set against yamamoto's quietly threatening attitude is truly an entertaining combination . 
their moments together or apart steal the rest of the show . 
also to its credit , brother tackles the cause and effect of crime with realism . 
a life of crime is easy to get sucked into with the first reward of quick cash . 
sure people get rich , but they can also lose just as easily . 
it's a great moral , with a great cast , just not much substance to back it up . 
"
"-1","there ? s nothing quite like a gory anime . 
really , and this is the truth , no other genre in film gets away with such violence without a word being said in the media about it . 
with anime , a common shot is watching a body getting quickly cut in two , and the rest of the insides falling out seconds afterword . 
this is a standard practice in anime , or at least the half dozen or so titles that i ? ve seen . 
vampire hunter d is a gory , gory film . 
if they ever made a live version of the film , it would be banned in several countries and given a rating somewhere below xxx . 
it ? s not that it ? s gore is unique - it ? s just like other gory animes - but this one was supposed to stand out because of the complexity it ? s story , characters , animation , etc . . . 
it really didn ? t . 
it was disgusting and gruesome , which overshadowed the story , what little of it there was . 
it seems that in the not too distant future vampires and evil control the world , because god knows that our local police force just can ? t seem to get a handle on vampires in the movies . 
one evening , a blond peasant girl , drawn to look 17 and innocent ( a foreshadow that we will see her naked , i guessed early on it would be in the shower or in a rape scene ) is out fighting evil in her local forest preserve when she stumbles onto the private property of a ten thousand year old vampire ( insert strom thurmand joke here . ) 
of course , he never put a ? no trespassing ? sign on his yard , so one can ? t really blame her , but he ? s upset anyway and demands retribution . 
she gets the obligatory bite on the neck ( aren ? t there other places to get blood from ? 
it seems like a bite in the elbow would do well enough . 
if it's good enough for doctors to draw blood from , then why do vampires stray from that sight ? ) 
to fight the spell , she enlists the help of a mysteriously tall , dark and handsome vampire hunter ( you guessed it , his name is d ) . 
the vampire hunter is torn between fighting vampires , being attracted to the 17 year old peasant girl and finding reasons not to talk too much . 
you see , like all heroes in these kinds of stories , he ? s a brooder , who ? s sole purpose in life is to remain really , really silent . 
when he speaks , it ? s in cliches . 
heroes like this are bad when they ? re live , even worse when animated . 
later the vampire hunter storms the castle to meet the big bad vampire , who wants to marry the peasant girl because he ? s bored after 10 , 000 years of living ( the only clever vampire insight made in the movie ) , will vampire hunter d rush to save her in time ? 
will we see blood and intestines spattering on every place imaginable ? 
in it ? s defense , the animation , when focusing on being original rather than recycling anime slicing , could at times be original . 
the talking hand was clever - and i think the inspiration for a skateboard-related logo . 
and that ? s the best defense i can think of . 
i understand that vampire hunter d is supposed to be a fave among anime fans , but i really don ? t see it . 
it ? s an excuse to watch blood dripping from teeth , blood exploding out of eye sockets and horses necks , and most importantly , like all violent anime , it is an excuse to see animated breasts . 
why ? 
what is the point of that ? 
maybe i have to understand the genre and look past the obsessive gore and mysogny . 
i ? m not a prude , i just don ? t think it ? s warranted . 
it puts itself so far out in front of the movie that everything else gets lost . 
is there a neccesity in seeing a 17 year old in the shower ? 
of course not ? it ? s done for shock . 
it ? s tasteless and despicable . 
"
"-1","lauded as a genius by many , stanley kubrick commands a superlative filmography that includes such critically-acclaimed films as "" 2001 : a space odyssey , "" "" a clockwork orange , "" "" lolita , "" and "" dr . 
strangelove , or : how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb . "" 
now , sadly , he's added "" eyes wide shut "" to that impeccable body of work and his final film is the first and only blot on his near-flawless copybook . 
kubrick , alas , should have quit while he was ahead . 
this much-publicized psycho-sexual tease-a-thon , with its star billing of real-life marrieds tom cruise and nicole kidman , is nothing more than one long ( two-and-a-half hours long ) boring exercise that features kubrick operating with talent wide shut . 
kubrick , faithless to arthur schnitzler's 1926 novella "" dream story , "" has confused eroticism with nudity . 
he has confused intellectualism with talking slowly . 
he has confused profundity with pretentiousness . 
in addition , the director has made some strange casting choices , leaving sydney pollack in and leaving accomplished performers harvey keitel and jennifer jason leigh out . 
pollack , the director of such box-office hits as "" tootsie "" and "" out of africa , "" is normally solid in his occasional acting stints but here he's miserably out of his depth . . . 
and there isn't much depth to begin with ! 
unhappily , there's not likely to be a director's cut of this film to determine whether the decision to exorcise keitel and leigh was the right one . 
in fact , with the exception of the stark black-and-white credits , snatches of baroque music on the soundtrack , and many , many grainy tracking shots down lavishly-decorated corridors , there's none of kubrick's trademark brilliance in this film . 
it doesn't help that the story , as delivered , is ridiculous . 
cruise and kidman , who bring little more than marital torpor to the project , play well-to-do new yorkers bill and alice harford . 
he's a doctor and she's an unemployed art gallery director and they share a central park west address . 
at an opulent party hosted by their friend victor ziegler ( pollack ) , alice gets a little tipsy and starts dancing with a jeremy irons-like hungarian , who's singularly determined to get her in the sack . 
bill , too , is seen arm-in-arm with a couple of models before he's pulled away to deal with an overdoser . 
back home , bill and alice smoke a little pot before alice's aggressive jealousy kicks in . 
as retribution , she confesses to her husband that she once had deep feelings for a naval officer she eyeballed at a hotel where she and bill once stayed . 
this hurtful admission sends bill into a tailspin ; he pounds the streets of the village in his heavy black overcoat struggling with black-and-white images of alice in the grip of a horny midshipman . 
it's all way too much for him . 
for revenge , bill almost has sex with a hooker . 
he almost has feelings for a underage girl he sees in a costume store . 
then he almost does the hooker's roommate . 
and he's almost involved in an overblown rococo orgy when an old college chum of his tips him off to a mysterious , password-protected party where everyone wears masks and "" the women are incredible "" ( i . e . , naked ) . 
this "" erotic "" set piece , a cult-ish bacchanal complete with chanting , incense , and lots of strategically-placed partygoers covering up the dirty , might impress the likes of hugh hefner , but it's a lot less shocking than it's intended to be . 
what's the big deal ? 
bill doesn't exactly * do * anything ( other than throw his money and credentials around ) , and alice only ever lusted in her heart . 
whoop-dee-doo . 
still , they make up at the same agonizingly slow pace--was kubrick , notorious for multiple takes , paying them at an hourly rate ? 
even geniuses have their bad days . 
 "" eyes wide shut "" just happens to be kubrick's bad day , an unerotic , disappointing , and altogether pointless end to an otherwise memorable career . 
"
"-1","by starring in amy heckerling's "" clueless "" two summers ago , alicia silverstone proved she wasn't just another pretty , pouty ingenue , showing a buoyant comedic craftiness that blew all previous jobs -- namely a stint as the aerosmith girl and a silly turn as the lethal lolita of "" the crush "" -- out of the water . 
her only work since that 1995 gem has been in june's "" batman & robin , "" where she overcame the underwritten role of batgirl . 
now , she's the star and producer of "" excess baggage , "" a hopelessly phony film that demonstrates how an ill-composed story can drag an otherwise solid performer down to its level . 
silverstone's emily t . hope is stuck with a billionaire father ( jack thompson ) who neglects her emotionally . 
in an outlandish plan to gain his affection , she fakes her own kidnapping -- emily uses an electronically disguised voice to call her dad and set a pricey ransom , ties her legs together and mouth shut with duct tape and locks herself in the trunk of her bmw . 
but before the police can "" rescue "" her , professional auto thief vincent roche ( benicio del toro ) jimmies the locks , hot-wires the engine and makes off with both the car and emily , who's still trapped in the back . 
when vincent discovers emily , the two don't exactly hit it off -- she annoys him , he annoys her , and at the advice of his slimy car salesman partner ( harry connick , jr . ) , he decides to drive her out to the middle of nowhere and leave her there . 
along the way , of course , they get into a whole heap of trouble , and come to realize that being together is the only way to get out of their sticky , felony-studded situation . 
it doesn't help matters that emily and vincent are being trailed by cops , crooks and even her shady uncle ray ( christopher walken ) , who's wise to his niece's ploys for attention and has mafia connections . 
for at least a half-hour , "" excess baggage "" bounces along fast and efficiently . 
during this time , emily and vincent sport engaging personalities as well as a nice role-reversal twist -- she's an awfully aggressive , combative victim and he's quite the aloof , seemingly vulnerable captor . 
but once it's past its set-up , the situation suddenly becomes uninvolving as the story tries to be too many things at once . 
a road movie , a teen comedy , a mob thriller , a drama about family relationships -- you name the cliche and "" excess baggage "" likely covers its territory . 
of course a romance develops between the two leads , but it all seems forced , and thus characterization is manipulated to cause the finally happy outcome . 
 "" do you like my tummy ? "" 
emily coos to vincent at one point in the film . 
huh ? 
did i miss something ? 
the hard-edged , foul-mouthed grrrl is suddenly gone and replaced with a pair of batting goo-goo eyes . 
then again , "" excess baggage "" becomes so weak in so many areas that the personality transplant is not a complete surprise . 
a supporting cast attempts to do what they can with colorful but empty secondary roles , but the movie isn't game enough to use them all and therefore seems overcrowded . 
motivations keep shifting , resulting in an often confusing narrative . 
scant existing story background confuses matters even worse and adds to the growing list of unanswered questions . 
 "" excess baggage "" has too many characters , too much plot and juggles with one arm behind its back and a remaining shaky hand . 
i loved silverstone's turn in "" clueless "" as an aloof , pampered beverly hills matchmaker inspired by jane austen's "" emma . "" 
looking back at the skill she displayed for comedy there , it's simple to justify any high expectation or enthusiasm that i had mustered for "" excess baggage . "" 
sadly , however , "" excess baggage "" is no "" clueless . "" 
but , on the other hand , it is clueless . 
"
"-1"," "" . . . because i'm a scientist . 
that's what we do ! "" 
--- dr . alexander mccabe ( bob gunton ) , in response to why he created evil bats . 
alright folks , stop me if you've heard this one : genetically altered animals wreak havoc on a town and a small band of locals , assisted by a specialist in the particular animal's field , must team up to stop the mutant creatures before they can multiply and spread across the earth . 
oh yeah , the military is on their way to bomb the town as well , so they are running short on time . 
sound familiar ? 
such is the plot of the destination films release of bats . 
dina meyer stars as the "" bat specialist "" sheila , who is pulled from her research ( along with her annoying sidekick , played with irritating deftness by leon ) in order to help a small texas town figure out why some local citizens and animals have been chewed to death recently . 
with the help of the local sheriff ( lou diamond phillips ) , a cdc official ( carlos jacott ) , and a scientist ( bob gunton ) , sheila discovers it is indeed bats ( who have been genetically altered by gunton's character to be more aggressive and omnivorous , in order to be used as a military weapon ! ) . 
i have to say here that i knew exactly what i was getting into going into this film . 
there's not a frame of promotional footage i have seen for the film that would have led me to believe it was going to be any good . 
in this respect , the film never disappointed me . 
this film reaches a level that transcends the "" so bad it's good "" level and borders on the downright insane . 
the effects are awful , the script is contrived , and for most of the feature i was laughing at things that were supposed to be taken seriously ( i think ) . 
i challenge anyone to sit through the scene , where a bat stalks a baby in a crib while another bat terrorizes a patron eating at a diner , with a straight face . 
thankfully , the performances are as good as they can be considering the material the actors had to perform with . 
dina meyer has always been the highlight of any of the films she has been in ( johnny mnemonic , dragonheart , and starship troopers . . . 
the latter being the only film out of that batch with any actual merit ) , and this one is no exception . 
while one never really gets the impression that meyer's character could be a bat expert in reality , one never really cares to doubt it either . 
she gives as good a performance as could be expected , plus she's nice to look at for an hour and a half . 
lou diamond phillips is also serviceable here , as the small town sheriff turned eventual hero . 
although when we first meet his character he knows bats are the reason for what's going on in town , for some reason later on he suddenly becomes amazed to learn that the actual cause of the deaths in town are because of bats . 
the only bad performance in the film is that of leon's . 
he is relegated to the "" i'm not sticking around here ! "" 
character and proceeds to repeat variations of that line for the majority of the film even though he stays . 
anyone who can't immediately tell that bob gunton ( the bad guy in patch adams and countless other films ) is going to eventually turn on the gang and side with his creations before his eminent death will probably be surprised , but i highly doubt it . 
even if he hadn't been the villain in just about every film he's ever been in , so many obvious hints are given to indicate the devious act that it holds no shock whatsoever . 
in fact , his death is welcome , because it finally starts moving the plot towards the finale . 
if the plot doesn't sound ridiculous to you yet , then check out these little tidbits : a multitude of bats inexplicably disperses when a police officer cocks his pistol . 
an entire town disregards the sheriff and doctor's orders to stay indoors after a curfew is instigated , causing mass hysteria when the bats come out in full force , killing several townsfolk . 
a government official blows off shelia's instructions ( to wait until dawn to install a cooling unit in the bats' cave that will kill all of them off ) by pulling a night job , resulting in the death of an entire military unit . 
a cavern full of bat feces never ignites when a phosphorus flare is lit right in the middle of it . 
finally , to top it all off , this little texas town is showing nosferatu in it's single screen theater ( for reference , our town has over a million people in it with nearly 150 movie screens , and we're lucky to even get kevin smith's dogma ) . 
the most laughable part of the movie though comes from the ill-conceived bat puppets . 
while the actual bat attack scenes are shot with rapid fire editing ( making the scenes nearly impossible to comprehend what's going on ) , the scenes where a bat is called upon to interact with a live actor are usually shot more low-key . 
therefore we the audience get loving close-ups of the most unrealistic , rubbery bat puppets ever committed to film . 
being able to see the puppeteer's arms would be the only things that could have made these creations worse . 
after all of this , if you still decide bats might be the movie for you , don't say you haven't been warned . 
trust me when i say that it's a lot more fun to trash than it is to sit through . 
i just wish that dina meyer would be cast in more roles or at least choose better films to appear in . 
she's definitely a talent that is going to waste in films like these . 
"
"-1","the word to describe sharon stone is "" wonder "" . 
not that she _is_ a wonder , but rather that i wonder how she can be so inconsistent . 
she has a dynamic screen presence in "" basic instinct "" , turns in a surprisingly fine acting job in "" casino "" , but possesses neither of those here . 
stone teams up with private school headmaster's wife isabelle adjani to kill adjani's thoroughly unlikable husband ( chazz palminteri ) . 
in a comedy of errors and unexpected twists straight out of hitchcock ( as in `homage to' [read "" steal from "" ] ) , it turns out that someone saw them or he's not dead or maybe . . . 
kathy bates turns in a credible , if unspectacular , performance as an investigative police detective . 
her character is a bit dull but realistic , although her actions at the end are puzzling . 
adjani is more than satisfactory as the timid beaten spouse driven to desperation . 
it's stone that is a disappointment among the actors . 
how can she be the epitome of a femme fatale in previous films and come off as a blank in this one ? 
costumed in skin-tight clothes and looking down her nose at everyone , she is someone you would want to avoid because she is boring , not enticingly dangerous . 
even the threat ( or promise ? ) of a lesbian relationship between the conspirators is only half played out . 
on the positive side , there are enough unexpected plot developments to keep your interest alive . 
that is if you can put up with stone's cardboard cut-out character and scenes directly lifted from hitch's movies . 
"
"-1","the tagline on random hearts reads "" in a perfect world , they never would have met . "" 
in a perfect world , i never would have seen this movie . 
the biggest flaw is that 20 minutes into this film , kay chandler ( kristin scott thomas ) and dutch van den broeck ( harrison ford ) are the only two major characters alive ; resulting in little doubt that they will end up together at some point during the laborious two-hours-and-then-some production . 
dutch is a sergeant in internal affairs at the district of columbia police department . 
kay is a congresswoman from new hampshire . 
although they both think they are happily married , their spouses are cheating with each other behind their backs . 
dutch and kay are soon widowed when a plane goes down carrying their partners ; they subsequently discover the affair . 
the rest of the film is the pointless , unrealistic and often-times boring story of their researching the sexual relationship that they were blind to , and getting to know each other in the process . 
two sub plots are of little help to the already problematic film . 
dutch is trying to arrest a fellow officer , a task that seems rather ordinary for hollywood fare . 
all the great stereotypes get pulled , including my personal favorite of the key witness that makes bail and is murdered soon thereafter . 
kay's distraction from the film's primary focus is her campaign for re-election and attempts to shield her 15 year old daughter from the truth about the father she put on a pedestal . 
these sub plots could have made for semi-interesting points , but the film seems afraid to explore politics or mother-daughter relations in depth , and consequently suffers . 
random hearts' two primary characters seem to live in shells . 
although both kay and dutch are given their own sub plots , they seem to never deal with anyone other than themselves or each other . 
there is plenty of opportunity , dutch having a partner and kay having close friends and her daughter , but the movie shies away from exploring these relationships . 
veteran actor and director of this film sydney pollack , and critically acclaimed up-and-comer dylan baker both have cameo roles , but be careful not to blink too much or you will miss them both . 
other than its weak plot , it is hard to criticize random hearts . 
however , it is also hard to compliment it . 
had the film taken some small risks and more fully explored its extra characters and plots it may have tasted more like a well frosted cake , rather than the dry one that equates to be . 
"
"-1","in double jeopardy , the stakes are high . 
think of the plot as a rehash of sleeping with the enemy , and then rearrange the details and the gender of the stalker . 
the finished product , although able to maintain the viewer's attention , is a predictable and unexciting thriller with an idiotic script . 
`alex , i'll take homicide for $400 . . . ' 
libby parsons ( ashley judd ) is a happily married mom leading a normal life . 
one night , her husband nick ( bruce greenwood ) takes her out for a romantic escape on a sailboat . 
libby awakens in the middle of the night to find she is covered in blood and nick has strangely disappeared . 
she follows a trail of bloody footprints up to the deck , where she handles a fallen knife ( like any stupid character ) and is spotted by the coast guard , who are responding to a distress signal sent earlier in the evening . 
nick is presumed dead , and although she pleads her innocence , libby is tried and convicted for the murder of her husband . 
now , please don't think i'm spoiling any vital plot details , because the informative trailer has already spilled most of the beans . 
if you haven't seen this preview , don't read any further . 
but seriously , the inane screenplay by douglas weisberg and douglas s . cook is so elementary that the average viewer will be two or three steps ahead of the characters . 
during the most vital scenes in the movie , i was anticipating every twist or `surprise' that eventually popped up on the screen . 
i imagine the writers presume their core audience for double jeopardy is a very naive group of individuals . 
most , unfortunately , will be too distracted by the moronic plot to appreciate the few positive aspects of the production . 
one is tommy lee jones , who plays travis lehman , a parole officer given the tedious task of watching over libby after she serves her sentence in prison . 
jones is always wonderful as an authority figure , and he's certainly familiar with this sort of role ( as he played so well in the fugitive and us marshals ) . 
judd , as a likable heroin with gusto , also has a chance to flex her acting abilities . 
while emotionally unconvincing , the actress is tremendously fun in her juvenile role , perking up the movie like an injection of anti-depressant . 
the actors , and their relationship together , present the one-two punch that prevents double jeopardy from derailing itself entirely . 
and now , back to the plot . 
while behind bars , libby learns an interesting little bit of information : a person can't be convicted of the same crime twice . 
this law , called `double jeopardy' , could be her motive for hunting down her husband . . . 
who may still be alive . 
yes , you heard right . 
the movie degenerates into a cross-country chase , where everything you expect to happen . . . 
does . 
the final scenes , which could have redeemed the film , are poorly handled by director bruce beresford - whose previous work centers highly around drama ( driving miss daisy , paradise road ) . 
ironically , it is those elements - like the driving force of libby to reunite with her son - that don't quite work here . 
at least double jeopardy is paced well enough to satisfy diehard fans of the two stars . 
unfortunately , jones lacks some of the edge that he had as sam gerard in the fugitive , and the real depth of his character is only skin deep . 
but he and ashley judd are more than welcome considering the material , and both have some memorable comic moments . 
judd , in particular , has a hilarious scene in which she wards off an oncoming male by explaining she has to check in with her `parole officer' . 
hmmm . . . 
perhaps this would have made a good comedy . 
it is disappointing , because there are the makings of a competent action film here . 
it's nicely shot and choreographed in downtown vancouver , and will entertain those who aren't turned off by the woeful story-line . 
 ? tis a shame that double jeopardy is an adult thriller that wouldn't fool most children . 
"
"-1","synopsis : melissa , a mentally-disturbed woman who likes to smoke , seduces doug , a minor-league baseball player who likes to study anatomy , work on motorcycles , and make out with his girlfriend in a public library . 
when doug decides to stop seeing her , melissa maliciously takes revenge on those around him , including his girlfriend , his mother , and his cat . 
comments : malicious , i suppose , is an acceptable moview for what it is : a cheap , b-movie thriller which rips off dozens and dozens of spurned-psycho-lover-who-wants-revenge films ( like fatal attraction , hand that rocks the cradle , etc . etc . ) that have come before it . 
malicious , however , really doesn't provide very many particularly suspenseful moments . 
the plot starts off energetically enough , the main characters are introduced and the affair between doug and melissa begins and ends pretty early on in the film . 
it starts to drag , unfortunately , after this . 
melissa will obviously try to take her revenge on doug ( as always seems to happen in movies like these ) , but she does so in unimaginative ways that have been done in other , better thrillers before . 
she drugs someone . 
she kills a family pet and leaves it in the girlfriend's apartment . 
and , of course , she stalks , so we see a number of shots , which are supposed to be suspenseful , where she's spying on doug and his girlfriend . 
i won't reveal the ludicrous ending to this turkey , but i warn you that it's both painfully obvious and a real yawner . 
john vernon does a remarkably good job at playing the not-so-bright baseball jock who initially gets swept away by melissa ( one of the script's faults is to try to pass off a character like this as a pre-med student ) . 
the same cannot be said , though , for molly ringwald . 
at times , she can effectively pull off the obsessed lover routine , especially during her silent , i'm-going-to-stare-you-down scenes . 
at other times , however , she just seems somehow goofy and out of place . 
in one particular scene which i guess was supposed to be suspenseful , she screeches "" f--k you , you b-----d "" and throws a phone . 
she delivers the line so ridiculously that one can't help but laugh . 
malicious certainly isn't the worst thriller of its kind out in the video racks ( a number of really fat turkies in this genre are out there ) , but it isn't all that good or original either . 
feel free to treat this film maliciously , watch something else . 
"
"-1","warner brothers ; rated pg-13 ( mild violence , sexual situations ) ; 132 minutes 
director : luis mandoki 
screenplay : gerald di pego ( from the novel by nicholas sparks ) 
cast : kevin costner , robin wright-penn , paul newman , illeana douglas , robbie coltrane , jesse james , john savage . 
review by : geoff berkshire 
i'm not an overly cynical guy . 
there have been many glossy hollywood romances that have carried me away with their romanticism over the years . 
however , i have my limits and i also have standards . 
this brings us to the subject at hand : message in a bottle , the big ticket romance that warner brothers' unleashed upon the movie going public just in time for valentine's day . 
the story , what little of it that there is , involves boring chicago tribune reporter theresa osborne ( robin wright-penn ) dealing with her recent divorce and trying to raise her young son jason ( jesse james ) . 
during a brief stay somewhere in new england she finds the titular message in a bottle while on a morning run by the ocean . 
the letter , written to a mystery woman named catherine , instantly captivates her . 
upon her return , theresa shares it with her best friend lina ( illeana douglas ) , her boss charlie ( robbie coltrane ) , and the entire city of chicago ( the newspaper publishes an article about it ) . 
it turns out that the message was written by grieving widower garret blake ( kevin costner ) and so theresa travels to north carolina and tracks him down . 
he turns out to have a colorful father ( paul newman ) but is otherwise perfectly dull and overly obsessed with sailing . 
this is somehow attractive to theresa and the two begin their awkward courtship . 
of course she doesn't tell him that she found his letter , she wants to but the rules of this type of film require him to find out later ( preferably right after they first make love ) . 
this way garret can get very angry and the relationship can be threatened . 
the discovery of the message and garret's discovery that theresa discovered the message are really the only two noteworthy events that happen during the nearly two and a quarter hour running time of this film . 
there's a truly lame subplot about garret's relationship with his dead wife's family ( he gets into a bar fight with her brother , played by john savage ) and then the necessary tear-jerking ending . 
a fun way to pass the time is to take bets on exactly who will die , although it becomes pretty clear by the second reel . 
the actual death sequence is one of the most ridiculously forced , and unintentionally humorous , sequences filmed since . . . 
well , since costner's the postman ( 1997 ) . 
message in a bottle is one slow moving film . 
last year audiences were offered endurance tests such as the horse whisperer and meet joe black but both of those films resemble jerry bruckheimer productions next to this . 
they also had redeeming qualities in the form of quality performances and some stand out technical work . 
message in a bottle has a decent enough cast but they're fighting the material all the way , and losing badly . 
costner and , especially , wright-penn are both likable and attractive enough to cheer for but their characters are simply too boring . 
they also fail to generate any kind of real romantic chemistry . 
the supporting players are given very little to do . 
the reliable douglas is particularly wasted . 
old pro newman gives his all and occasionally threatens to kick some life into this dead horse of a film . 
a confrontational scene he has with costner near the end is especially well played . 
however , too frequently he just reminds us how unexciting our lead characters are . 
the film is very polished on the technical side to be sure but it only works to undercut the story . 
gabriel yared , who previously set the romantic moods of the english patient ( 1996 ) and city of angels ( 1998 ) with his scores , overdoes it a bit here . 
caleb deschanel's camera makes everything look a little too beautiful . 
do the offices of the chicago tribune really need to look heavenly ? 
the editing by steven weisberg is troubling not only considering all that could have been cut out but is also simply messy at times . 
the real offender here is screenwriter gerald di pego . 
working from a best- selling novel by nicholas sparks ( which i have not read but have been told is on the same literary level as the bridges of madison county ) , di pego creates one of the most uninspired scripts of recent times . 
its strict adherence to clich ? s brings to mind such disasters as i still know what you did last summer ( 1998 ) . 
there simply isn't an original scene in this film . 
the dialogue is rarely better than laughable and this is only accentuated by the excessively long pauses every character takes while speaking . 
this is director mandoki's first film since when a man loves a woman ( 1994 ) , the solid meg ryan/andy garcia romance . 
he's simply going through the motions with this . 
message in a bottle is easily the worst of the several romantic offerings available in theaters at the moment and vies with what dreams may come ( 1998 ) as one of the most misguided romances of the decade . 
"
"-1","disconnect the phone line . 
don't accept the charges . 
do anything you can to avoid the wretched , melodramatic sisterhood dramedy `hanging up' . 
i figured i needed to get in touch with my feminine side , and `hanging up' seemed like an ideal opportunity to do so . 
the film features an incredible palate of female talent , and the capability behind the camera brought to mind such sparkling gems as `sleepless in seattle' and `unsung heroes' . 
meg ryan , diane keaton and lisa kudrow play a trio of sisters who , once separated by career judgments over family ties , must reunite when their father ( walter matthau ) is admitted into the hospital with alzheimer's disease . 
while this may read like an optimum opportunity to rekindle their relationship and reflect with poignancy on the past , the script by sisters delia and nora ephron is exasperating , shapeless dreck teeming with emotional fakery . 
`hanging up' has the overall effect of a tele-marketer pestering you for two hours , while you don't have the option of doing as the title suggests . 
for the first half-hour , the ephron sisters use telephone conversations for a basis of character development . 
this is an annoying and ineffective device . 
cell-phones ring every five minutes , and everyone hurriedly rushes along , leaving marginal time for the frustrated viewer to relate to the sisters' issues and problems . 
if `hanging up' was an apple pie , then i felt as if we were getting the mere crust of the story . 
granted , there are a few genuine and sincere moments in the film . 
but they only help to establish that the remainder of the strained emotions are nothing but inferior dramatic muck . 
the most outrageous strategy in `hanging up' is that , after a series of largely unrealized attempts at character development , we are expected to exhibit compassion and courtesy toward the sisters as they join for a melodramatic finale . 
we are able to identify with eve ( ryan ) , the most open and caring daughter , because she is the one who stayed by her father's side as everyone else moved forward to pursue a impending career . 
georgia ( keaton ) , the eldest daughter , is celebrating the fifth year anniversary of her magazine called . . . . 
`georgia' . 
maddy ( kudrow ) , the soap opera actress , spends time either contemplating her possible path to stardom or nursing her dog . 
ryan's convincing performance and diverting cuteness are two of the more agreeable aspects of `hanging up' . 
kudrow , so delightfully eccentric as the off-kilter airhead phoebe in `friends' , is totally wasted . 
ditto for keaton , who is serving a double shift as co-star and director - a time slot that can be a difficult priority juggle . 
her frenzy is apparent . 
for a chick flick , there is a distressing lack of chuckles . 
the reliable matthau is reduced to chaotic shtick that , given his character's situation , seems more depressing than amusing . 
even so , the peak form of humor in `hanging up' is represented by some of matthau's nasty quips and ryan's eternal battle to have the aforementioned pooch swallow a pill . 
that about accounts for the three or four chuckles you will expel during the film . 
my curiosity has suddenly been tweaked to discover how such a promising and star-studded approach could turn so viciously sour . 
but really , it's no mystery . 
the predictable , melodramatic filth that is `hanging up' is certainly not the fault of these actresses . 
pin it on the screenplay , which attempts to clear up vital issues in three or four minutes , while spending the rest of the running time in an annoying flurry of phone conversations . 
it's certainly a far cry from what one would label as a rewarding experience , but `hanging up' should have at least been enjoyable . 
uh-uh . 
it's a wrong number from the beginning . 
"
"-1","running time approximately 1hr 40mins 
reviewed by jack choo 
rating : 
the movie starts with a rather se7en-ish opening sequence , rather cool and sets the mood for things to come . 
the story propels the audience into a neo-reality ; somewhat very close to conscious reality but laced with weird tinges of blue and red . 
existenz is actually the name of a new virtual-reality game . 
supposedly , vr games are highly popular as is considered a legal-drug in this neo-reality . 
 * * * * ( leigh ) is the ultimate game creator and introduces her ultimate game-experience in the form of existenz . 
players are required to have bio-ports embedded in their spine , which plugs to a game-pod in order to enjoy the immersive experience . 
during a secretive beta-testing-cum-teaser meeting for this new game , an assassination attempt on * * * life occurs and she runs off with fellow bodyguard * * * ( law ) . 
 * * * is more of a realists than anything else , afraid that he'll lose reality if he begin to play these games but * * * requires his help to immerse together with her into existenz to check if the program is still functioning properly after the assassination attempt . 
as they soon discover , they are transported between realities within existenz uncovering more than they initially expected . 
existenz has all the cronenberg-gore that is expected of him . 
even so , this film is no-where near his cult classics such as videodrome or scanners . 
not even half as suspenseful as the commercially successful the fly . 
existenz can probably be looked upon as his 90's version of videodrome , even so , it is a poor follow-up . 
while in most of his famed films , his penchant for gore always hit the right note with theme of the film and plot . 
in existenz , the gory sequences are no more attached to spirit of the film and seem to be an act of over-indulgence than anything else . 
jennifer jason leigh and jude law , both commendable actors , looked aloof and miss-directed throughout the entire film . 
the scripting and acting barely pulls the film out of the b-grade category . 
it was obvious that cronenberg worked on a really tight-budget and it seems that he handled that pretty well in the production design and values created for this film ( the opening sequence , though , probably formed a considerable portion of the budget ! ) 
which is actually quite good . 
existenz is too predictable and cliched in these times . 
10 years ago , it would have been another classic for cronenberg . 
cronenberg fans however , ( those people who enjoy seeing friends getting queasy over mutilation on film ) should not give this film a miss as some form of appreciation can still be offered by you . 
"
"-1","in china in 1982 i turned the tables on our national guide and asked him if he had any questions about america . 
i guess i was expecting some sort of political question . 
instead , i was dumfounded by what was most on his mind . 
 "" in america , do wives and their mothers-in-law get along well ? "" 
he assured me in china that they did , but i am certain if that were true he would not have asked . 
even in china people seem to have problems relating to in- laws . 
perhaps some of life's most difficult relationships arise when families are suddenly artificially joined by marriage . 
a man trying to relate to his new prospective in-laws and vice-versa could be the basis of a very strong comedy . 
meet the parents does not demonstrate that fact , however . 
greg focker ( played by ben stiller ) has been dating and in love with pam byrnes ( teri polo ) for ten months and is now ready to propose to her . 
he will do it during a weekend visit to meet debbie's family and to attend her sister's wedding . 
from the beginning the relationship is awkward between greg and jack and dina byrnes ( robert deniro and blythe danner ) . 
through no fault of his own , the airline has lost greg's luggage . 
and he has to ask to borrow clothing . 
it is the beginning of a game of one-upmanship in which greg is nearly always one-down . 
as the games go on greg is more and more uncomfortable and uneasy which only contributes to the mistakes he makes . 
greg is playing a game he does not understand , in a league he is new to . 
but perhaps along the way he will discover some unexpected secrets about his father-in-law . 
this film had potential in its tale of one-upmanship . 
it has hit on a situation that many in the audience may find familiar--one that has not been done overly frequently in films . 
but the script by jim herzfeld and john hamburg is a little too contrived . 
too many coincidences in the story work against greg . 
the script could not decide if the main character was incompetent or simply unlucky . 
certainly he does not help his situation by doing everything wrong he possibly could , but even when he is trying to do the right things nature conspires against him . 
there is an uneven mix of slapstick sequences and human comedy . 
certainly the last part of the film feels awkwardly written . 
the main reason to see meet the parents is to see robert deniro's performance . 
deniro plays the suspicious and not a little fascistic father as tightly wound and threatening as he can . 
the little judgmental expressions on his face are a show in themselves as greg digs himself deeper and deeper into his insecurities . 
but we do not really see much of that digging . 
ben stiller is an affable presence in the film but is not really stretching himself by playing the role as the nebbish to whom so many bad things happen . 
it is nice to see blythe danner again on the screen . 
but her character has a basic conflict between a basic decency and her love for her husband and the script should have given her more to do with that . 
randy newman has written a playful score . 
in the first few seconds of the film it does something creative i have never heard a film score do before . 
there is a lot of source music that is popular music of the 1960s . 
presumably that is what the upper class listens to at least in somebody's imagination . 
humor is subjective and some this film has been getting some favorable comment . 
but this is a comedy that works only occasionally for me . 
i would have to rate it 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"-1","the "" fab 4 "" of ronald reagan high are four stuck-up girls , played by rose mcgowan , rebecca gayheart , julie benz and charlotte roldan , who overdress like 4 posh spice wannabes . 
their daily ritual is to parade up and down the school halls like royalty , and their constant reflex action is to grab their compacts so they can check their make-up and powder their cheeks . 
under no circumstances will they ever let themselves be seen eating in public . 
in writer and director darren stein's jawbreaker , it isn't as funny as it sounds . 
in fact , it isn't funny at all . 
stein has taken the black comedy of a teen movie like heathers and stripped it of any intelligence , wit or charm . 
his actresses toss off their lines so fast that they don't have time to add any emotion . 
and all of his female characters have considerably more lipstick than brains . 
the setup for the movie has one of the fab 4 , liz , who is referred to as "" the princess di of reagan high , "" be killed when a prank by the other 3 goes wrong . 
the princess di reference is in bad taste , as is much of the movie . 
granted , bad taste can sometimes be funny , but the mere presence of bad taste doesn't guarantee it . 
liz's girlfriends stick a jawbreaker that is literally larger than a golf ball in her mouth , tape her mouth shut , and stick her bound body in the trunk of a car . 
when they open the trunk later , liz is dead . 
they eventually put her blue and bruised body into a sexual position and make it look like liz was the victim of a brutal rape . 
these realistic and disgusting scenes of a dead , seminude teen have a pornographic feeling that is hard to forget and will likely turn the stomach of many a viewer . 
the film's dialog not only isn't funny , it's trite . 
one nerdy young girl introduces herself with "" my name is fern mayo , as in hold the mayo . "" 
when fern discovers what has happened , the fab 3 make her an offer she can't refuse -- make-up ! 
they cake it on her and welcome her to the clan . 
the parents in the movie brag about learning parenting skills from watching oprah . 
the teachers fare no better , especially in the ridiculous lines they are given . 
 "" miss shayne , please cover your bosom , "" one young teacher , who has been made up to look old and ugly , says without any conviction . 
 "" this is a learning institution , not a brothel . "" 
besides the obvious question of why this movie was ever made , there is one other question that i'd like to ask the director . 
why do you have a phone number start with 555 if you going to cover the rest of the number anyway ? 
in a cameo , pam grier plays detective vera cruz , who investigates liz's murder . 
as she interrogates the other people , she stares at them like they are all idiots , proving that she is the only one that gets it . 
i am sure that if the hard nosed detective cruz were to see this movie , she'd walk out after about 5 minutes , and you'd be well advised to do the same if you should happen to find yourself in a theater showing it . 
jawbreaker runs 1 : 27 . 
it is rated r for violence , gore , profanity and sex . 
i would advise everyone to avoid it , but if teenagers go they should be older and mature . 
"
"-1","hollywood never fails to astound me . 
every time i think those coked-up little buggers have hit rock bottom ; they come up with a new excavating tool . 
i was truly convinced that "" wild wild west "" marked 1999 studio filmmaking at its most hapless , but then along comes "" end of days "" to prove me wrong . 
this big budget , brain dead apocalyptic thriller bludgeons its audience with overwrought music , grisly violence , explosions galore and lots of cheesy special effects . 
the result ? 
nothing but groans and yawns . 
even the devil himself is unable to produce a decent scare in this festival of the inept . 
at the very least , "" end of days "" should have done us the courtesy of being bad-enough-to-be-good , but it can't even manage that . 
it's just lousy . 
arnold schwarzenegger , still recovering from heart problems and "" batman & robin , "" plays an ex-cop turned security agent or bodyguard or something . 
along with his obligatory comic relief partner ( kevin pollak , impersonating matthew perry's chandler character from "" friends "" ) , he gets involved in some major league supernatural hoodoo . 
it seems that satan ( gabriel byrne ) gets a shot at world domination only once every thousand years ( and here i thought he'd pulled it off with the republican landslide of '94 ) . 
if he has sex with 20-year old christine york ( robin tunney ) , "" the chosen one , "" their child will be the antichrist , or at least a brat . 
ah , but this deal has more catches than a new year's eve pass from a halfway house . 
the unholy union must take place on december 31 , 1999 ( you see , 999 is just 666 turned upside down ) , but only between 11 p . m . and midnight ( no wonder this guy is so cranky ) . 
and if the chosen one is given refuge in a church , the devil won't know where she is , because he can't see into the sanctuary . 
you know , it's kind of like superman's x-ray vision and lead walls , only evil . 
a group of guerrilla catholic priests decide the best way to stop the situation is by killing the girl . 
arnold chooses to save the girl and kick the hell out of satan , if you'll pardon the expression . 
and kevin meets up with an exploding van and has to make some decisions of his own . 
oh , the anguish ! 
oh , the humanity ! 
oh , the writing ! 
andrew w . marlowe's screenplay ladles implausibility upon implausibility , from the preposterous otherworldly histrionics to his handling of jericho cane , schwarzenegger's character . 
cane starts the film a la mel gibson in the first "" lethal weapon , "" preparing to put a gun in his mouth due to ongoing despondence over the murder of his wife and daughter . 
twenty minutes later , he's racing through the bowels of new york city , deciphering clues that sherlock holmes and kreskin would find baffling . 
when cane meets up with christine york , he instantly switches to terminator father figure mode , with the young woman serving as surrogate daughter . 
in case anyone misses the connection , the camera comes in for a close up of christine's music box , which just happens to be identical to one owned by cane's daughter . 
subtle , marlowe , subtle . 
speaking of cameras , director peter hyams is just the man to take marlowe's script and make it even more self-important , murky and annoying . 
hyams' direction shows all the subtlety of a gwar video , with cane running a gauntlet of ridiculous action set pieces , punctuated with loads of big explosions . 
eager to satisfy arnold's core audience , he even throws in a few pairs of breasts as well . 
what a guy . 
had the film delivered some decent scares , or even maintained a consistently ominous tone , the bombastic clich ? s might have been tolerable , but "" end of days "" is simply a flaccid special effects show . 
the cast is just as ineffective . 
in his early scenes , gabriel byrne attempts to invest beelzebub with some panache , but he all too soon turns into just another standard issue monster . 
kevin pollak comes and goes quickly , robin tunney comes off like a bargain basement winona ryder and as for arnold , well ? he's a better actor than casper van dien . 
that should count for something . 
way back in the aftermath "" the exorcist "" and "" the omen , "" supernatural swill like "" end of days "" might have passed muster as a b-movie . 
but that was then and this is now . 
 "" the x-files "" and "" buffy the vampire slayer "" deliver real scares on a weekly basis and , if we want to see the devil , all we have to do is flip on "" the 700 club "" and take a gander at pat robertson's grinning maw . 
after enduring "" end of days , "" all i can say is "" get thee behind me , satan . 
and while you're at it , get thee a better agent as well . "" 
"
"-1","i have little against remakes and updates of older films and tv series . 
if there's a will , there's a way ; and i believe that anything , no matter how great or revered can be effectively improved upon . 
this is the reason that i responded so well to gus van sant's universally panned update of psycho ; i thought it to be not only an intriguing cinematic experience , but also very on-par with an original . 
but i do have a big problem with remakes that are blatantly bad . 
you see , the point of a remake is , or at least it should be , to iron out the original's flaws and bring the work that much closer to greatness or even perfection . 
but what if the source material on which the remake is based isn't any good to begin with ? 
that is the only cinematic question pondered by the bland actioner the mod squad . 
i've only seen a couple episodes of the late 60s tv series on which it is based , and to be honest , i didn't like it all that much . 
it has a concept that -- and still is -- interesting ; a group of corrupt young adults , all in their early 20s are given a choice : they either go to jail for the various crimes that they all have committed , or they can become undercover cops , helping the police get into places that they normally wouldn't be able to access . 
obviously , all 3 opt for the latter option and become undercover policemen ( and policewomen ) . 
the three main characters here are played by claire danes , omar epps and giovanni ribisi . 
of the three , only danes has a real character . 
ribisi's dumbass 20 year old is played exclusively for laughs ; epps' slightly more intelligent one is used to create various chase scenes . 
when the squad's superviser gets killed off and his reputation dirtied in death , the three of them , sure that their beloved master was framed , go off and investigate on their own , discovering corrupt cops , lots and lots of expensive whores and very lucrative drug operations . 
all kinds of good stuff ! 
the only times that the mod squad comes even close to working is in its comedic moments . 
although ribisi is a trite actor and his characters repeat movie after movie , his man here is really rather amusing , when the script gives him a chance . 
epps' straight man is effectively played against ribisi's clueless spontaneity . 
but the rest of the film is dull , boring and singularly uninteresting . 
a drug-op action plot is no longer anything new , not even with teenage action heroes , and the way it's executed here , it's also nowhere near exciting or suspenseful . 
claire danes' character has potential , but it is buried under heaps of cliches and her performance is too restrained . 
she could have been a tour-de-force , but instead director scott silver puts shackles on her and simply does not allow her to do anything really significant with her role . 
epps and ribisi fare slightly better and do as well as can be expected , although their characters aren't nearly as rich as danes' could have been . 
the mod squad is a mind-numbing marketing plot of a film , and teens will jump all over it . 
it's full of bad dialogue , scenes and concepts that make no sense and -- get this -- drug dealers that like to tango with other guys in their spare time . 
nothing is remotely intriguing or worth paying for . 
claire danes is no longer alluring -- mainly because she's got a horrible hairdo , so that draw is out . 
there are , however , cool explosions , guns and chases which may lure a viewer into thinking that he or she is about to experience an exciting thriller of some sort . 
do not be fooled . 
some may call this escapist fare -- i call it escape-as-quickly-as-you-can fare . 
"
"-1","when the mediums in question are video game and feature film , has there ever been a respective here-to-there transformation that achieved any ground higher than noodle-headed mediocrity ? 
 "" super mario bros . , "" "" street fighter "" and "" mortal kombat "" were silly stinkers all , and now the empty , execrable "" wing commander "" joins their lowly ranks . 
enduring this spectacularly bad bit of sci-fi , easily the worst of its kind , is like watching someone futz around with a video game for 100 minutes - that is to say , there's little fun to be had when you're not the one holding the joystick . 
the movie , then , is a missed opportunity for director chris roberts , who created the original , groundbreaking pc incarnation of "" wing commander "" back in 1990 . 
how an interactive brainchild so revered could end up such a cinematic pile of junk under the helm of the same guy is a head-scratcher . 
 "" wing commander "" 's story , credited to roberts and screenwriter kevin droney , is clueless chaos melding incoherent narrative and unoriginal ideas . 
it rips off the finest films of its genre , top gun and , in one scene , even those spiffy "" stereoscopic freeze "" gap commercials . 
set in 2654 , "" wing commander "" stars freddie prinze jr . as a daredevil cosmos cowboy who hopes to be a great fighter pilot like his father before him . 
along the way , he plays kissy-face with his stoic superior ( saffron burrows ) at the new galaxy hangout where he's posted , comes to terms with bigots who resent him for his "" pilgrim "" heritage ( don't ask ) , and goes on a top-secret mission involving the "" jump coordinates "" ( what , no death star plans ? ) of a nasty alien race known as the kilrathi . 
or something like that . 
given the immensely confusing activity , it's hard to tell . 
on the other hand , what's easy to see is that "" wing commander "" is a big old mess . 
the lame dialogue strains , filled with such original lines as "" don't you die on me ! "" , 
 "" battle stations ! "" 
and repeated ( and frequently unanswered ) calls for a "" medic ! "" 
action sequences fizzle . 
the character conflict garners unintentional giggles . 
the sole source of suspense here is what these kilrathi creeps look like , as they're kept out of view until the concluding 15 minutes . 
imagine bearded siamese cats crossed with something from a ? 50s roger corman cheapie and you've got a good idea . 
little but techno-babble happens for an hour , and then it's as if "" wing commander "" tries to do too much at once ; when it appears as though the movie's about to show signs of a pulse , it instead provides a hilarious touch of human drama culminating with a use for a bulldozer that has probably never been seen in this kind of space camp before . 
matthew lillard , featured prominently in said sequence , is cast as prinze's hotshot partner , and though the two are fine young actors - recently paired in the hit "" she's all that "" - they're fighting more than otherworldly evil here . 
rumor has it that "" wing commander "" was slated as a later-in-the-year release , bumped up to capitalize off this hot casting coup as well as the premiere of the new "" star wars : episode i "" trailer . 
but in my audience , there were no females present to make goo-goo eyes at prinze or lillard , and many a member exited after the much-ballyhooed sneak peek . 
since most cineplexes won't be granting refunds to the latter contingency , "" commander "" might rake in some dough , but be warned : the high wears off as soon as the coming attraction gives way to the feature presentation . 
"
"-1","it's almost amusing to watch 21-year old christina ricci get drastically overshadowed in sally potter's follow-up to 1997's the tango lesson , the man who cried . 
the gen-y actress , with her cold stare and big , black eyes , has appeared in an impressive range of films ; but she doesn't even come close to being the bold heroine the film , set against the historical backdrop of world war 2 , requires her to be . 
ricci , whose character is shockingly silent and blank , showing only the occasional smile or hint of concern , shares most of her scenes with the astounding cate blanchett : quite an amusing sight to behold . 
blanchett's lola , a paris dwelling dancer who befriends the aspiring singer suzie , is bold , interesting and layered ? everything our heroine lacks . 
co-star of the upcoming lord of the rings trilogy , blanchett has a good seven inches on ricci , sports twice the makeup and dons a flashy wardrobe . 
the actress inhabits the role ? as she always so remarkably does ? with a fervor and life that makes you want her to hold the screen as the film's lead rather than her dull companion . 
important historical events involving hitler and his nazis scatter themselves across the film ; these landmarks serve as the film's little conflict . 
obviously , the tables are turned in the life of suzie by these events , whose jewish origin is unknown among her parisian colleagues . 
the man who cried has many aspirations , none of which come full circle by the film's close . 
there are forced messages here and there : "" go forward ; always go forward , "" lola preaches to suzie ; there's romance between suzie and a fellow target of hitler's nazis , the gypsy cesar ( johnny depp , who , like ricci , barely gets to speak ) ; lola struggles with her character that desires above all things wealth and men who have it ; and at the core of all these devices lies suzie's desire to travel to america , where her father journeyed after leaving her and her mother years ago . 
the film's main problem is that potter isn't skilled enough to tell the epic-sized story of suzie . 
the time period's instability , the conflicting social classes , the prejudice against suzie from all those around her in her new life : serving as both writer and director , potter throws in some of each , but hardly an inch of depth is to be found in any . 
by the time the sigh-inducing climax hits , the believability and complete absence of focus leave one ready to leave the theater . 
the film's falling action is weirdly unsatisfying and unlikely ; are we really meant to believe any of this could happen ? 
contrastingly , in its moving final scene , the man who cried strikes a note that is made effective in its ties to the emotional beginning of the film . 
although it's apparent that potter can't grasp what she reaches , i'm puzzled as to why she reaches for so much in the first place . 
ricci's suzie is meant to be the film's core : from the extended flashback at the film's beginning to the quickly drawn ending , everything seen in the film , in some way , relates to her . 
so why then does potter spend so much time on subplots involving other individuals ? 
the character of suzie is too present for the man who cried to work as an ensemble , but not present enough for the film to be ricci's . 
the almost constant lack of flow and one-note tone with which potter depicts the man who cried are somewhat improved upon by sacha vierny's beautiful cinematography that renders the film's various locations wonderfully . 
also worthy of note are lindy hemming's costumes that help to depict the area quite nicely . 
and then there's the music . 
from minute one to minute ninety-seven , there's hardly a moment when the wavering , skilled voice of an opera singer or the rhythms of the gypsy music don't undercut the action ; the notes stricken both overwhelm ( particularly john turturro , portraying fictional opera singer dante dominio , whose money and reputation catch lola's interest ) and accompany ( oftentimes , the perfect chords are captured to undermine the state of the film's characters and reinforce that state ) . 
potter obviously cares much about each and every musical note ; unfortunately , the same effort isn't given towards ( almost ) everything else . 
"
"-1","sandra bullock in high heels and wielding a chainsaw ? 
yup , it's gotta be summer . 
just when you thought the pointless sequel had gone the way of franchise films and direct-to-video releases , into port slams speed 2 : cruise control , the gloriously godawful follow-up to the 1994 sleeper about a bus rigged to explode if it slowed below a certain speed . 
the gimmick , this time , is an ocean liner rigged to , well , crash into stuff . 
sound exciting ? 
dennis hopper's disgruntled bomb squader , the villain of the first film , has given way to willem dafoe's disgruntled computer programmer , a maniac whose main beef has something to do with having to use live leeches , i kid you not , as a self-treatment for copper poison- ing . 
 ( and said poisoning induced by prolonged exposure to electro- magnetic fields , no less ! 
calling dean edell . . . ) 
so , he overrides the boat's computer , convinces the crew to abandon ship , and sends the remaining passengers , those who couldn't evacuate in time , on a col- lision course with destiny . 
 ( oddly , no one thinks to just . . . 
jump off the back of the boat . ) 
with keanu reeves electing not to return-- perhaps he read the script ? -- 
the job of john mcclane goes to jason patric ( sleepers ) , as the * second * la cop and swat team member that that bus drivin' babe annie ( bullock ) has dated . 
 ( what are the odds ? ) 
they're on this caribbean cruise for pleasure , as are a handful of requisite stock characters , including a deaf teenager ( ! ) who has a crush on the hero ( ! ! ) who also knows how to sign ( ! ! ! ) . 
 ( and you thought the raptor slam was a cool summer movie move ? 
wait till you see the feats that * this * little girl can do , when stuck on a shipboard elevator ! ) 
bullock is her pesky , perky self , though she ends up with far less screen time than her top billing suggests . 
 ( those paying attention to her bikini- and tank- tops probably won't complain , however ) patric is the main man in motion and that's damn good , 'cause when he stops to talk , he's only slightly less monotone than his predecessor . 
 ( his first lol line is to ms . bullock : "" i'd like to boogie with you . "" ) 
of course , nobody in front of the camera embarrasses themselves quite the way that returning director jan de bont does . 
he also produced this mess , which is insulting even by the most lax summer standards . 
 ( con air , buddy , father's day , romy and michelle's high school reunion , murder at 1600 , 8 heads in a duffle bag , anaconda , vegas vacation , meet wally sparks , metro , bevery hills ninja , the relic , all is forgiven ) . 
worse , he's spent a hundred mil on a premise that doesn't even live up to its title ! 
there's no sweat-inducing motion of the ocean here-- just two hours of shaky handheld camera work and a handful of cross-cut exteriors , all leading up to the big slam , when the love boat sideswipes an oil tanker and then plows into a harbor town . 
 ( oh , how far we've come in twenty years . 
remember the simple fun of seeing a locomotive smash into railway station in the silver streak ? ) 
admittedly , either of the aforementioned sequences is worth the price of admission . 
it's just the rest of the movie-- the other hundred or so minutes-- that's pure nonsense . 
and wonderful nonsense at that . 
i know he didn't intend to , but de bont has done one thing right : he's created the hands-down funniest film of the year . 
so , now , allow to present a few more things that made me laugh : 
o a box with a big label : "" fiber optic converter "" 
o plain english , whole-sentence computer instructions 
o an entire sequence devoted to opening a fire door 
o jason patric's character walks onto the bridge and immediately understands everything that's happening 
o a ships' navigator who speaks in a scottish accent and actually gets to say "" i canna override it ! "" 
o willem dafoe's amazing arm-mounted keyboard 
o two living , breathing adults ( bullock's character and the first mate ) who have to be told , step by step , how to disconnect a trip wire from the pin of a hand grenade . 
duh 
o "" no wait ! "" 
screams the ship's intercom 
o yet another damn dog in peril 
o fishing reel . 
pontoon plane . 
memories of weekend at bernie's 
"
"-1","how do films like mouse hunt get into theatres ? 
isn't there a law or something ? 
this diabolical load of claptrap from steven speilberg's dreamworks studio is hollywood family fare at its deadly worst . 
mouse hunt takes the bare threads of a plot and tries to prop it up with overacting and flat-out stupid slapstick that makes comedies like jingle all the way look decent by comparison . 
writer adam rifkin and director gore verbinski are the names chiefly responsible for this swill . 
the plot , for what its worth , concerns two brothers ( nathan lane and an appalling lee evens ) who inherit a poorly run string factory and a seemingly worthless house from their eccentric father . 
deciding to check out the long-abandoned house , they soon learn that it's worth a fortune and set about selling it in auction to the highest bidder . 
but battling them at every turn is a very smart mouse , happy with his run-down little abode and wanting it to stay that way . 
the story alternates between unfunny scenes of the brothers bickering over what to do with their inheritance and endless action sequences as the two take on their increasingly determined furry foe . 
whatever promise the film starts with soon deteriorates into boring dialogue , terrible overacting , and increasingly uninspired slapstick that becomes all sound and fury , signifying nothing . 
the script becomes so unspeakably bad that the best line poor lee evens can utter after another run in with the rodent is : "" i hate that mouse "" . 
oh cringe ! 
this is home alone all over again , and ten times worse . 
one touching scene early on is worth mentioning . 
we follow the mouse through a maze of walls and pipes until he arrives at his makeshift abode somewhere in a wall . 
he jumps into a tiny bed , pulls up a makeshift sheet and snuggles up to sleep , seemingly happy and just wanting to be left alone . 
it's a magical little moment in an otherwise soulless film . 
a message to speilberg : if you want dreamworks to be associated with some kind of artistic credibility , then either give all concerned in mouse hunt a swift kick up the arse or hire yourself some decent writers and directors . 
this kind of rubbish will just not do at all . 
"
"-1","miramax "" disinvited "" on-line media from press screenings of scream 3 . 
they ostensibly feared that folks like me would write spoiler-filled reviews and post them prior to the film's february 4th release date-unsound reasoning . 
you see , 'net critics established enough to be on any sort of vip list are professionals-miramax surely knows the difference between a member of the on-line film critics society ( ofcs ) and the type of fanboy who posts spy reports at ain't it cool news . 
no , the ? mini major' was afraid we'd let a bigger cat out of the bag than whodunit , that scream 3 is a dismal conclusion to the beloved ( by this writer , at least ) franchise . 
something smells rotten in the state of california right from the get-go : cotton weary ( liev schrieber ) , the former lover and would-be killer of maureen prescott , sidney's mother , is juggling phone calls in his luxury car . 
 ( once considered a danger to society , weary now hosts his own talk show , "" 100% cotton "" , a clever , if dated , jab at american pop culture . ) 
of course , a new ghostface dials him up , and , with memories of scream's unbearably suspenseful prologue in mind , we immediately wonder , where is the killer ? 
the backseat ? 
the next car ? 
thrilling prospects , to be sure , but actually , ghostface is at the weary residence , waiting for cotton's girlfriend ( kelly rutheford ) to finishing showering . 
what's missing from this sequence , and indeed scream 3's remaining frights ( most disappointingly , the moment when an ingenue is forced to hide in a wardrobe room filled with ghostface costumes , one of which might spring to life ) , is an elaborate and attenuated payoff . 
our other surviving regulars have become estranged . 
sidney ( campbell ) is living a paranoid existence of electronic gates and password-protected locks , while dewey ( arquette ) acts as technical advisor on the second sequel to scream 2's movie-within-a-movie , "" stab 3 "" , and gale weathers ( cox arquette ) headlines a gossipy news program . 
murder reunites them , as knife-wielding ghostface stalks the set of "" stab 3 "" , imitating its sadistic screenplay-and his/her/their own personal draft climaxes with sidney's death . 
the appeal of ghostface's villainy is that he/she/they could be your boyfriend , your classmate , your next door neighbour . . . or a combination of people . 
scream was the first of its kind : a slasher mystery , with the guessing game not only entailing who will be next , but also who is/are the perpetrator ( s ) and what is/are his/her/their motive . 
ironic self-reflection aside , parts one and two stand out in a crowd that includes umpteen friday the 13th and halloween flicks because there's at last articulate human beings behind the iconic costume . 
with scream 3 , the novelty of ghostface's ever-mutating identity has worn off some , but the character remains conceptually potent . 
conceptually . the execution of ghostface's master plan this time around is creaky , because screenwriter ehren kruger has invented a new mythology for the world of sidney prescott far afield from what we'd come to understand in scream and scream 2 . the movie gets in the silly habit of saying "" all bets are off ! "" 
in reference to the "" rules "" of a trilogy's third act , but there's a difference between rule breaking and cheating . 
with the departure of kevin williamson , who authored the previous screams as well as a tidy outline for scream 3 ( that , for reasons incomprehensible to me , was ignored , save the notion of "" stab 3 "" ) , kruger needed to be reined in tighter , and by wes craven . 
craven's direction of scream 3 is lazy in most respects . 
how else to explain the jay and silent bob cameo ( the slacker duo of kevin smith movies ) , akin to seeing mickey mouse pop up in mulan and more distracting than funny . 
it pains me to write this , but scream 3's comedy is generally laughless , with the exception of well-timed performances by josh pais ( as a police detective possessed of the same personality he had as a persnickety teacher in craven's music of the heart ) , jamie kennedy ( resurrecting film geek randy for the sendoff he was denied in scream 2 ) , and parker posey ( through sheer force of will as a b-actress ) . 
the visuals are much weaker in part three , as well-the occasional sweeping gesture of peter deming's camera is a pale imitation of the stalking steadicam craven gave us twice before . 
 ( aside : in the wake of columbine , craven toned down the violence significantly for scream 3-why the sanctimony , when scream and scream 2 are still readily available on video store shelves ? ) 
finally , marco beltrami's music cues the suspense too blatantly-do you recall the tense chase at the college radio station in scream 2 ? it's mostly silent . 
sting notes are a whole lot more effective if they spring from nowhere ; here , they act as the crescendos of an incessantly nerve-jangling score . 
i look at scream 3 as coming from an alternative universe , the same place that birthed the godfather part iii and superman iii-woefully out of synch with its prequels , scream 3 is a nightmare instead of nightmarish , and will likely put the horror genre back in mothballs . 
the film unintentionally follows the unspoken rule of a trilogy to a t : ? part three must disappoint' . 
"
"-1","a backdrop of new year's eve in 1981 would seem to lend itself to a great party movie . 
the decor possibilities are endless - disco balls had yet to migrate into the dark corners of the attic , big hair was worth its weight in aquanet , and the louder the fashion , the better the look . 
but despite this setting , these details and a soundtrack that includes some 40-plus irresistible hits from the early days of the me decade , something is inherently wrong with "" 200 cigarettes . "" 
a better title for this nostalgic mess would be "" 50 missed opportunities . "" 
what is it that makes this retro-comedy such a downer ? 
it's certainly not the cast , which includes enough hot , young talent for several movies . 
there's courtney love , cementing her reputation as a serious actress ; christina ricci , hot off her shoulda-been-nominated turn in "" the opposite of sex "" ; paul rudd , who gets even more appealing with every role ; kate hudson , inheriting some fine acting genes from mom goldie hawn ; and affleck brothers ben and casey , two of the best things about "" good will hunting . "" 
perhaps the question is this : what drew these and other immensely talented actors to such a dreary project ? 
maybe it looked good on paper . 
 "" 200 cigarettes "" is composed of a series of vignettes , as various characters make their way through new york's festively decorated east village to a holiday bash thrown by a jittery bundle of nerves named monica ( martha plimpton , all dressed up in her best cyndi lauper ) . 
among the potential guests are likeable cad kevin ( rudd ) and his best friend lucy ( love ) , busy bickering over his recent break-up , and a clumsy but seemingly charming bartender ( ben affleck ) who opens his mouth only to spew forth bad pick-up lines . 
more subplots - _many_ more - dot the big picture , but those listed above are the only ones worth noting in a positive light . 
all the other story tangents are as frazzled as a cokehead trying to solve a rubick's cube . 
ricci and gaby hoffman grate as two ronkonkoma gals ( the kind that have trouble pronouncing hard consonants ) out to have a high time in the big city . 
infamously acerbic comedienne janeane garofalo is wasted in what amounts to a several-scene cameo . 
hudson , as a pretty-in-pink klutz recently devirginized by a reprehensible ladies' man ( jay mohr ) , trips , pukes and gets smeared with dog poop . 
are we laughing yet ? 
the film boils down to a mixture of the good , the bad and the gaudy , with the latter two overtaking the former . 
game performances - especially by love , rudd and plimpton - are almost shot down by the bizarrely colorful parts and a constantly roving focus , here a combination that mostly sputters when it should crackle . 
too many sidetracks rate as uninteresting and have little payoff until a lengthy final montage where we find out many of the performers served as one night stands for each other . 
if this is "" 200 cigarettes , "" then get me 200 nicotine patches . 
"
"-1","the premise of the new james wong film , final destination , is that alex browning , the protagonist , prevents six of his friends from boarding a doomed airplane , thereby cheating fate . 
however , fate is not so easily bested , and alex's friends soon begin dying in unusual circumstances . 
essentially , this premise is a clever-way to make a slasher-flick without the slasher . 
unfortunately , this is practically the only clever thing about the film . 
as far as teen horror flicks go , final destination is better than many . 
there is enough shocking death , graphic gore , and requisite black humor to provide the essential "" roller coaster "" type thrill at the heart of the average horror flick . 
unfortunately , this film also suffers from the worst characteristics of this genre . 
the relationships between the main characters are tenuous and their motivations are meaningless except as excuse to set-up the next death . 
the scene where two of the characters break into a funeral home to view the body of their recently killed friend is suppose to be scary and dramatic but features some of the dumbest dialogue i have witnessed . 
if you are looking for a saturday night thriller to scare your date , this film might do the trick . 
other than that , wait until it goes into heavy-rotation on cable . 
"
"-1","there is a scene in patch adams in which patch is in the center of a courtroom , surrounded by people who are giving him a lively standing ovation because of his strong-worded attack on a group of stoic doctors . 
when i noticed that the audience with whom i saw this film was reacting the same way , i realized that i was going to have a hard time finding someone who agrees with me about the quality of the picture . 
you see , patch adams revolted me beyond all boundaries . 
i hated this movie for every second that i sat watching it , and i actively hate it now , days later , with the simpering , superficial , nauseatingly sentimental images forever plaguing my memories . 
i hate every element of the film , beginning with tom shadyac's shameless direction , and all the way up to the misguided and mishandled themes that the screenplay wants so desperately to convey . 
the badness of patch adams is stupefying . 
it's confounding . 
i can't believe a film can be this bad . 
and yet , it's based on a real man who probably has a good point to make . 
in the film , patch is played by the undefeatable and indefatigable robin williams , in a performance of such insulting pathos and sledgehammer sympathy that i wonder now if he is even human . 
in the beginning of the film , patch commits himself to a mental institution because he doesn't want to kill himself . 
while there , he notices that the doctors don't care about the patients , and that the best way to get through to the patients is to treat them like human beings . 
so , patch goes on a crusade to be a great doctor who actually talks to his patients . 
he goes to medical school , where he meets truman ( daniel london ) and convinces him that it's good to help people . 
he also meets carin fischer ( monica potters ) , the anti-male med student who just wants to go through the motions and be a successful doctor . 
naturally , the dean of the medical school ( bob gunton ) hates patch , and wants to thwart his plans , even though patch gets the highest scores on all of his exams . 
so patch decides that he's going to build a free clinic in the middle of nowhere to help people with any problem they may have . 
and that , my friends , is the synopsis for what is easily the most abhorrent picture of 1998 . 
on a superficial level , the film is not particularly bad : i wouldn't say the cinematography bothered me , and most of the performances seem to be exactly what shadyac was aiming for ( i actually liked potter's performance , even if she is wasted ) . 
but the film fails fundamentally in execution . 
every scene swells with grand , "" emotional "" music , played at maximum volume just to get us all to cry real hard . 
take , for instance , the first scene , which shows patch sitting on a bus . 
we don't know patch yet , but there's sad music , and it's supposed to make us really sad that he's sad . 
later on , patch makes a lot of progress : he helps a dying patient ( peter coyote ) to enjoy the last days of his life , and the music as patch is pushing the patient recklessly through the halls of the hospital is very lively . 
and when that patient finally dies ( spoiler alert ! ) , the music is very very sad . 
but the problem with all of this is that the music should not be the center of the emotions . 
real drama is character-based . 
you grow to like someone , and then something bad happens , and you feel it . 
we don't ever grow to know the dying patient ; he's simply a vehicle for patch's greatness . 
real drama doesn't seem forced , or present just to make the audience cry . 
that's why patch adams is not real drama . 
it goes for every cheap tear imaginable , wringing tired and overbearing sentimentality out of every scene . 
even scenes that have very little impact on the overall film are drowning in marc shaiman's sickening musical score . 
sentimentality like this is indeed bad . 
but it's not as bad as half-baked , simplistic themes . 
you see , patch is a really great student . 
he aces his tests without studying , and does it so effectively that people think he's cheating . 
but patch doesn't think that memorizing facts is the way to become a good doctor . 
 "" why don't we see patients until the third year ? "" he bursts out every three seconds . 
well , patch , that might have something to do with the fact that you need to learn something before you go treating patients . 
not everyone has the capability of memorizing facts with no effort . 
most of us have to study . 
and a doctor who really wants to help , but doesn't know a toe from a finger , probably won't be too successful in preventing death . 
oh wait , i almost forgot : the point of doctors is not just to "" prevent death , "" but to "" improve the quality of life ! "" 
yes ! 
that is true ! 
and you can not do that without studying . 
you can not do that without going to medical school . 
what patch never seemed to understand was the possibility that maybe , just maybe , it is a good idea to study first and talk to patients later . 
follow the rules ? 
bah ! 
who needs the rules ! 
only uptight doctors follow the rules . 
the real saviors are the ones running around the hospitals with big red spheres on their faces and sporting baggy yellow pants . 
and then there's the free clinic issue , which i find shockingly , frighteningly idealistic . 
a free clinic . 
in the middle of the forest . 
where patients can be taken to be helped . 
for free . 
how will patients be transported to the free clinic ? 
will it have an emergency room ? 
or is it just for mental patients ? 
and who , may i ask , will pay for it ? 
the film does give some token attempts to question patch's motives ( i think another character asks him how he's going to pay for it , in addition to a little bit of meaningless blather about hmos and medical insurance ) , but they certainly don't explore or challenge patch's ideas to any meaningful extent . 
reader , please understand this : i am not making any kind of judgment on the real patch adams . 
i know nothing about him . 
if his beliefs mirror those of this film character , then i might like to have an intelligent discussion with him about them . 
but regardless of what the real patch adams believes , the themes put forth in this film are simplistic and phony . 
and in the last scene , the big , obligatory courtroom scene that forced my lunch halfway up my esophagus , patch does a lot of shouting . 
actually , robin williams does a lot of shouting . 
he shouts a lot about helping people , and a lot of people cry because they are moved by his words . 
i won't tell you that you can't be moved by his words , because i , too , was moved by his words . 
i was moved in such a profoundly negative way that i was reminded of how cheap and phony a cinematic experience can be . 
patch adams is the cheapest of them all . 
"
"-1","i have a great idea for a movie , one that can't miss . 
see , i've got coolio to do a song for the soundtrack , and about fifty athletes and celebrities to do cameo appearances . 
it's about professional basketball , so i'll release it right around the nba finals to guarantee added publicity . 
as for what the movie is actually about . . . well , that will all sort itself out eventually . 
i figure it will be a comedy , so i'll throw a half-dozen writers at it and take the best of whatever they come up with . 
maybe we'll put a gender spin on it , see if we can get some women out to see it , too . 
eddie is one of those phenomenally lazy films that infuriates me more than any other kind . 
twister , as inane as the script might have been , at least required some creative technicians ; mission : impossible , overwrought plot and all , at least involved genuine effort . 
eddie just sits there , hawking up a formula story without any laughs , and makes every possible bad decision when a decision is required . 
whoopi goldberg plays eddie franklin , a new york limo driver and die-hard knicks fan who is suffering through a dismal season for her beloved team . 
coach john bailey ( dennis farina ) has lost control of his overpaid prima donnas , and the losses are beginning to mount . 
the dwindling attendance inspires new team owner wild bill burgess ( frank langella ) to try a publicity stunt in which a lucky fan will get to be an honorary coach of the team . 
the winner ( surprise , surprise ) is eddie , who becomes a fan favorite , and eventually the actual coach . 
the knicks continue to lose , but eddie has some sassy tricks up her sleeve to inspire her troops . 
incidentally , the knicks eventually start winning . 
please raise your hand if that comes as a shock , and i will invite you to my all-night marathon of the bad news bears , major league , angels in the outfield , the mighty ducks , the big green , cool runnings and little giants . 
awful teams in sports comedies make miraculous turnarounds ; it's what they do . 
those teams usually involve kids , for a very sound comedic reason : it's funnier when they screw up , and they're more sympathetic . 
those which _don't_ involve kids usually have actual actors in the lead roles , for another very sound comedic reason : they generally have developed some sort of comic timing . 
eddie was cast under the misguided premise that it's easier to make basketball players look like actors than it is to make actors look like basketball players . 
this finds nba players like greg ostertag , dwayne schintzius , rick fox and malik sealy delivering punch lines as though they were reading them for the first time off a bazooka wrapper ( though sacramento kings center olden polynice has a nice moment describing a black hole to fellow players ) . 
perhaps that all didn't matter to anyone because there are so few punch lines , and because the whole film is one big casting gimmick . 
steve rash directs the spiritless script as though waving a flag of surrender and screaming , "" don't blame me , i just work here . "" 
perhaps it was patently obvious to him that eddie isn't a movie -- it's a cameo appearance that trips over a plot every once in a while . 
among the notables who lend their faces to this travesty are donald trump , new york mayor rudolph giulianni , former new york mayor ed koch , david letterman , letterman regulars mujibur rahman and sirajul islam , espn broadcaster chris berman and knicks announcer marv albert , as well as dozens of nba players and several nba arenas . 
and those are the real jokes in eddie . 
nothing these individuals say or do is funny ; you are supposed to be laughing simply because you notice , "" hey , it's donald trump ! "" 
or "" hey , it's mujibur and sirajul ! "" 
it's difficult to decide whether eddie is so bad because it was so shamelessly lacking in imagination or because it can't even get the cliches in a cliche-ridden genre script right . 
the knicks coach who is eddie's antagonist early in the film reappears at the end , but he isn't given a chance to be the villain eddie desperately needs . 
neither is frank langella , and none of the athlete-actors have the ability to give whoopi goldberg anything to play off of . 
that leaves her to do her street-wise miss thang routine , but with no character , no sharp lines and no help . 
eddie isn't just a bad movie with a formulaic premise . 
it's a movie that makes you feel cheated and offended , because someone came up with a poster and a marketing plan to which they had to attach an actual movie , and you had the nerve to believe it was going to be a comedy . 
"
"-1","as any reasonable human being would , i must admit that occasionally i am befuddled by certain things . 
i am befuddled by fight club . 
now sometimes our favorite films are panned by critics and do not achieve critical success until much later , sometimes as much as ten or twenty years later . 
perhaps it is because these films are way ahead of their time . 
perhaps it is because they are so new and complex that only after years of allowing them to sink in do we truly appreciate and understand them . 
fight club is either garbage or brilliant , but , at least right now , i must lean toward the former . 
maybe i am subconsciously affected by word of mouth that has been slowly leaking throughout the media for weeks that this film is pure gold . 
but if it is , i sure don ? t see it . 
edward norton plays jack , a field examiner for a major automobile manufacturer . 
his insomnia , coupled with his compulsive desires to fill his world with ikea furniture to ? complete ? himself , make him a loser at the game of life . 
but when all of his worldly possessions are blown out his 15th story window , he seeks comfort in a stranger , tyler ( pitt ) whom he met on a flight home . 
once jack is sucked into tyler ? s world , he can ? t get out , literally . 
they begin fight club , an organization based on brutal and bloody fistfights that signify nothing other than to provide those that join a sense of belonging . 
as the fight club grows , things get out of control and take on cult status , beginning with one future soldier who proves his worth by standing still outside tyler ? s house for three days . 
i dare not even begin to bring up the last quarter of the film , since that contains the twist that ? explains ? the pointless journey . 
suffice it to say i was truly disappointed in fincher , who ? s previous two films , se7en and the game put him in a very slim category of truly brilliant young filmmakers of the next generation . 
this is not to imply by any means that he is no longer a genius or capable of bringing more masterpieces to the table . 
but with fight club , he has allowed his unique talent for extraordinary vision to be distorted by silly digital experiments and self-referencing film elements , such as talking to the audience about what they are seeing , telling them that the little blips in the right hand corner are signifiers that the projectionist is changing reels and that a slightly altered recurring line is good ? flashback humor ? . 
now , throughout the film ? s coarsely woven texture and over-extended plot lines , fight club is obviously trying to make various social comments about the state of the world today . 
advertisements , inter-office politics , corporations , you name it , it ? s addressed . 
 ( though the media are suspiciously absent from the institutions that are referenced . ) 
all of them play an important role . 
how so ? 
well , i can kinda just tell . 
i can ? t really put my finger on it . 
to say that starbucks and barnes & noble are taking over their respective markets and kicking out the small business owner is no big news . 
is that bad for the world ? 
probably . 
not much room for social commentary there . 
we all know that inter-office politics are just that . . . politics . 
so what was the point of all this ? 
the film seems desperate to make a point , or a number of points , but i couldn ? t figure out what they were . 
all i saw was a very bizarre social satire that was woven with strange film techniques , a bleak visual design and some fine acting . 
 ( pitt , carter , norton . . . all of them are good . 
even meatloaf is good . ) 
when you get to the end , you will most likely be filled with questions , many of which the filmmakers wanted you to ask of yourself . 
not them , because each of them would likely give you a different answer . 
fight club means what you want it to mean , i think fincher just gives you the stuff to think about . 
but it couldn ? t be more bizarre and unappealing . 
sure , it had shock value , but so did se7en and the game , and they were significantly stronger films . 
"
"-1","staring , george clooney , arnold schwarzenegger , chris o'donnell and uma thurman with alicia silverstone . 
well to start this off i'd just like to say a couple things . 
first is , i miss michael keaton , i miss tim burton and would much prefer to think that these last two batman films are all like a dallas dream sequence . 
not even from the first film was batman really the 'star' though he was damn close in the first couple anyway . 
in 'batman forever' and now in 'batman & robin' he's almost pushed to being a bit player . 
i can't really say if clooney ( who regardless was better than kilmer ) was a very good batman or not . 
he's given next to nothing to do at all , he might as well not have been there and it wouldn't have made much difference . 
now , joel schumacher has said that he refuses to bend to the masses that have hated his films and cheered for the return of buton that he wont make batman brooding and dark . 
fine , i mean granted 'batman returns' while being an awsome film was a bit to dark sometimes . 
yet his bright neon , campy style is just killing anything this series meant to me . 
i'm usually very easy on films . 
i loved 'con air' and other films some critics have slammed . 
granted that film really was paper thin , cliche ridden , except for one thing , it was fun . 
there is virtually no fun in this film at all . 
i couldn't have cared less . 
it'll thrill the little ones as theres no violence really , none everyone comes out fine in the end like those old tv shows where it ends with everyone laughing . 
schwarzenegger is awful , i mean really , really bad . . . 
and this is coming from a regular fan of his work . 
i love his movies most of the time and the basic reason is he never says much in any of them . 
he talks all to often in this movie . 
i would have much prefered to have seen patric stewart in the roll . 
i believe to truely like a film you have to care about at least someone in a film . 
i liked alfred but the reason behind it is a cheap shot . 
"
"-1","even though i have the utmost respect for richard dreyfuss as an actor , his presence in a motion picture does not guarantee any particular level of quality . 
like everyone else , dreyfuss has bills to pay , so he occasionally accepts big paychecks for prominent roles in bad movies . 
consequently , while his career highlights include jaws , close encounters of the third kind , stakeout , and tin men , his resume is dotted with titles like moon over parador , let it ride , and now krippendorf's tribe . 
let me start out by saying that krippendorf's tribe is occasionally funny ( although never riotously so ) , but that's about its only asset . 
the best word to describe this film is "" asinine . "" 
the target audience would appear to be recent nursery school graduates if not for the numerous sexual innuendoes , which are aimed at someone going through puberty . 
krippendorf's tribe tries to be a zany , off-the-wall comedy , but the film makers have forgotten three important rules . 
the first is that some minimal level of plot credibility has to exist . 
the second is that viewers should be able to identify with , or at least care about , a character or two . 
finally , and most importantly , more than 5% of the jokes have to work . 
once upon a time , james krippendorf ( dreyfuss ) was a respected professor of anthropology at little bounderby college . 
he and his wife obtained a grant to seek out a "" lost tribe "" somewhere in the wilds of new guinea , a goal which they never accomplished . 
shortly after their return from the failed trip , krippendorf's wife died and he was left with the herculean task of raising three children -- shelly ( natasha lyonne ) , mickey ( gregory smith ) , and edmund ( carl michael linder ) -- on his own . 
now , over a year later , the college wants to see the results of the money they gave krippendorf ( which he has spent not on research , but on things for his family ) , so they send a new member of their faculty , professor veronica micelli ( jenna elfman ) , to inform him that he has been scheduled to give a lecture on his findings . 
when he arrives at the college for the momentous event , rather than telling the truth and risking being sent to jail for misappropriating school funds , he fabricates a tale about a mythical lost tribe , the "" shelmikedmu "" . 
to provide video footage , he films his children dressed in native garb . 
soon , much to krippendorf's surprise , the shelmikedmu are a national phenomenon . 
but one disaffected professor ( lily tomlin ) is determined to prove that the tribe is a fraud . 
the only way krippendorf's tribe works is if you assume that all of the characters ( not to mention the viewers ) are dumber than dirt . 
unfortunately , it's impossible to like or sympathize with a bunch of putzes like this . 
director todd holland completely fails to develop any character into something more substantial than a device to implement various dubious gags . 
meanwhile , attempts at satirizing the shallowness of american culture ( i . e . , how easily the public can be fooled into jumping on the bandwagon of the latest trend ) come across as feeble and derivative . 
the acting in underwhelming . 
dreyfuss has definitely not given his "" all "" to the role of james krippendorf . 
alongside him , jenna elfman , the spunky co-star of tv's dharma and greg , radiates perkiness and little else . 
this quality , while fine for a 22-minute television program , quickly becomes irritating in the arena of a feature-length movie . 
no one in the supporting cast -- lily tomlin , david ogden stiers , natasha lyonne ( woody allen's daughter in everyone says i love you ) -- excels . 
i know that a movie's in trouble when it's half the length of titanic , but seems much longer . 
most of what comes on screen is generic sit-com level material -- the kind of slop that people will absorb while dozing off in their favorite easy chair in front of the television set . 
if there's any upside , it's that i don't see much box-office support developing for this lame , ill-marketed miscue . 
krippendorf's tribe will quickly become extinct . 
"
"-1","movies about teenagers and teenage culture rarely prove to be either interesting , entertaining or convincing , because of one fundamental reason : movies are made by adults and not teenagers . 
occasionally , however , films like say anything , dazed and confused and the breakfast club will break the mold and offer genuine insight into the lives of those bizarre creatures which surround us called "" teenagers . "" 
can't hardly wait , however , does not . 
instead , the writing/directing team of harry elfont and deborah kaplan manages to take every clich ? found in the teenage genre , strip it completely of perception , intelligence and wit - and turn it into one of the most nauseating cinematic experiences i have ever been subjected to . 
can't hardly wait follows a group of characters as they attend a house party on the night of their high school graduation . 
the main characters are such perfected stereotypes that no analysis needs to be provided to perfectly understand them : there's the average male protagonist preston ( ethan embry ) , prom queen and cheerleader amanda ( jennifer love-hewitt ) , football star mike ( peter facinelli ) , white rapper wannabe kenny ( seth green ) , computer geek william ( charlie korsmo ) , and brainy outsider denise ( lauren ambrose ) . 
i couldn't stand any of those characters . 
whether it was william getting drunk and signing along to heavy metal songs or kenny proclaiming "" yo , i gotta have sex tonight ! "" , 
all i could think of was how elfont and kaplan possibly managed to con columbia pictures out of ten million dollars to fund their film . 
apparently , can't hardly wait is supposed to be a comedy , but it tends to fail in this respect because of the fact that it's not funny . 
in all honesty , elfont and kaplan should be forced by their employers to attend remedial classes in humour . 
and when i say "" forced "" , i mean it . 
they should be strapped down to a chair and have their eyes wedged open in a similar fashion to alex in a clockwork orange . 
this is how desperately they need to be educated about the concept of humour . 
for instance , can't hardly wait features a foreign exchange student who is instructed to repeat absurd statements such as "" i am a sex machine . "" 
for some reason , elfont and kaplan believe that if this character repeats it enough , eventually it will be funny . 
if only elfont and kaplan could recognise the irony that they actually got paid for making this junk - now that's funny . 
"
"-1","way of the gun is brimming with surprises , some good , most bad . 
one of the good ones is ryan phillippe's surprisingly halfway decent performance . 
after the actor gained much attention by posing and preening through teen swill like i know what you did last summer , he hinted at a bit growth in last year's cruel intentions with his amusingly contemptuous john malkovich meets james spader performance , though his acting in that film faltered around the third act mark , precisely when the screenplay made his character grow a heart ( presumably to appeal to his training bra wearing fans ) and start bellyaching about how he'd fallen for his "" target "" . 
it was a dramatic shift that neither phillippe nor the film's director could negotiate . 
but he seems to be trying and that shouldn't be overlooked ( or probably over praised ) seeing as how , at this point , he really isn't required to do much but look pretty . 
here , phillippe has procured a five day growth of beard , his hair askew and his affect altered to sound something like james cagney in all his "" look here , see "" glory . 
it's tough to believe a pretty boy like phillippe as a hard ass , but his performance actually helps with the illusion . 
unlike ben affleck's puppy dog approach in reindeer games , phillippe is believable and not too bad at that . 
as for the plot , well , that's one of the bad surprises ; phillippe and the great benicio del torro play two moronic ( and not even remotely likeable ) criminals ( introduced to us in the parking lot of a rave where they stupidly pick a fight with about twenty people ) who hatch a scheme to kidnap a surrogate mother ( juliette lewis ) after overhearing that she's carrying the baby of painter ( scott wilson ) , a very well connected wealthy man . 
the kidnapping devolves into a laborious shoot out where much damage is done and many are killed . 
but the anti-heroes escape with the woman while an aging hit man ( james caan ) and two scheming bodyguards ( taye diggs and nicky katt ) remain in pursuit . 
directed by christopher mcquarrie , the screenwriter who won an oscar for his work on usual suspects , an overrated piece of crime noir in many circles ( this one included ) , way of the gun is a hodgepodge of crime thriller motifs that just oozes eye rolling familiarity . 
unlike phillipe , mcquarrie doesn't seem to be growing at all ; he fills his flick with a sprawling labyrinth of plot all snatched from movies i know i've seen before and worse , it feels like it . 
the film lacks even a fresh approach ( like what soderbergh did out of sight or the limey ) to its clich ? s , all of which are spewed before us in a picture that tries so desperately to be hip and gritty without bothering to notice how common it is . 
it features characters living by a code they seemed to have picked up in sam peckinpah 101 rather than any thing resembling life . 
even attempts at emotional weight feel strained like in preposterous scene where enemies james caan and benicio del torro stop in their tracks to have a cup of coffee and pontificate on life , philosophy , etc . i didn't like the bit much when it first appeared in heat , here , it's even more self consciously "" dramatic "" . 
usual suspects , which also featured a bunch of low lives that seemed to live by a code they learned from the movies , worked to some degree because of that astonishing twist ending . 
nowadays an astonishing twist per ending is de rigeur , never mind if it deems all that transpired before it completely inconsequential . 
thus , nearly every character in way comes with at least one dirty little secret ( most amateurishly projected before they appear ) and it too has an ironic little twist at the end ( nothing earth shattering , like in the usual suspects ) but i admit , i didn't see it coming , and i smiled . 
however most of the movie feels exactly like the interrogation scenes between palminteri and spacey in usual suspects : a lot of faux huffing and puffing with no rhythm or reason . 
or substance . 
it's just as overplotted as suspects , and often dull as any overplotted movie without interesting characters , a distinctive style , or a good script would be . 
even the good stuff , most of which involves james caan ( doing a fine job ) , feels odd and out of place in a movie that thinks lines like "" karma is only justice with out the satisfaction "" are clever . 
at one point caan laments "" need is the ultimate monkey "" a line so inexplicable he might as well have said "" love is like hippo ass "" . 
i've seen porno with better dialogue . 
and some with better plot lines too . 
but rarely has porn offered up such a talented cast ( i mean , can you even compare james caan to ron jeremy ) . 
caan slips into this role with seeming ease , he could do this kind of soft-spoken tough guy in a coma , but he manages to give his character depth and weariness . 
benicio del torro is always welcome , though here he plays it fairly straight ( rather than another oddball character creation like the ones the actor gave us in usual suspects and excess baggage ) , adopting a brad pitt-esque quizzical pout to go along with his heavy swaggering . 
speaking of pitt , his ex , juliette lewis , is a weak link , either shouting her lines with ear shattering shrillness , or waddling about like a silly goose . 
nicky katt was brilliant in a brief role in the limey , here his role is just as brief only he seems wasted ; he's only kept around for his cold presence . 
taye diggs has a similar function , cool as ever , but never a character , though the guy has one helluva death scene . 
for the most part way is incessantly talky with no reason to give a hippo's ass about any thing that transpires since its characters are never more than simplistic pawns . 
it's vaguely tarantino-ish , but in a bad truth and consequences nm way , with phillippe , in one scene , leaping into a stupid rant about "" faggots "" migrating to los angeles . 
you know the routine . 
the final shoot out is pure bargain basement john woo ( who himself seems to be doing bargain basement john woo ) with interchangeable bad guys lining up to be shot at . 
but those gun shots sure crack like thunder . 
just the other day i was watching an old dirty harry movie on cable and was stunned to hear the weak elephant grunt-like sound that emanated from harry's fetishized smith and wesson . 
oh how far we've come . 
"
"-1","when critics attack seemingly well-intentioned films like patch adams or more recently pay it forward as i am about to do , their opinions are often greeted with a backlash of angry e-mails , sometimes even mock death threats from those who ( i suppose ) like to be shamelessly manipulated by their entertainment . 
even politicians ( ! ) 
tend to dismiss film critics as heartless cynics for occasionally dumping on good-hearted films while praising "" filth "" like pulp fiction . 
these [fill in the derogatory term that you are comfortable with] tend to forget that a film critic's job is to review the movie , not the message , however sweet and endearing that message may be . 
thusly patch adams isn't a bad film because it's about a doctor who cares for his patients ; it's a bad film because it's a calculated piece of brazen audience exploitation . 
similarly while pay it forward may have its heart in the right place ( though i even doubt that , stay tuned , an explanation is forthcoming ) , it's still an unpleasantly maudlin mess . 
the picture is about an emotionally guarded 5th grade history teacher ( a somewhat similarly guarded kevin spacey ) , with a burn scared face and equally singed attitude , who gives his class the seemingly impossible assignment of doing one thing over the course of the semester that will change the world . 
12 year old trevor ( haley joel osmet ) , a disneyfied do gooder who takes care of his alcoholic mother ( helen hunt ) , comes up with the notion to pay it forward ; this entails a person doing one good deed ( call it an uber favor ) for three others , then telling them to do the same for three others and before long we're all living in a frank capra movie . 
meanwhile in a parallel story , a weasely reporter ( jay mohr ) tracks the "" movement "" which has apparently begun to grow . 
pay it forward has odd ideas about tone ; at certain points it hurls a smattering of unnecessary cynicism at us as if that would be the appropriate antidote to the unrelenting sappiness at its core . 
it's as if director mimi leder didn't have the confidence to make pay it forward the way she intended , and compromised out of fear that her film wasn't "" gutsy "" enough to earn the acclaim it has clearly been made for . 
so the picture adds grit ( a child molester propositions trevor , a homeless man returns to heroin after being "" saved "" , a character is knifed while doing a good deed , etc ) though it seems shallow , incorporated into the proceedings because the film itself isn't quite sure if it's ready to buy into its own utopian blather . 
pay it forward offers "" crowd pleasing "" elements for general audiences ; jay mohr's umpteenth variation on the waspy sleazeball , angie dickinson's earthy alcoholic bag woman , and the jive-talking "" black hoodlum with a heart of gold "" ( coming on the heals of the black , god-like inmate embodied by gabriel casseus in bedazzled , this may just be the beginnings of a brand new guilty white liberal clich ? . 
hurray for hollywood ) who actually calls the mohr character a "" nigga "" and says things like "" can you feel me ? "" 
leave it to pay it forward to happily include a little minstrel act for our further enjoyment . 
 ( maybe spike's flick wasn't so misguided after all ) . 
these scenes feel as if they belong in a dopey comedy with feel good aspirations rather than the irritatingly saccharine drama that you'll find yourself trapped in should you not heed my warnings . 
while the filmmakers have stressed in interviews that they actually hope this is a film that could make the world a better place , to me the final product has the oily feel of a cynical politician contemptuously reciting cookie fortune slogans to a hopeful audience . 
it's a picture that looks to be tailor made for academy consideration , with the main players ( all previous oscar winners or nominees ) given big emotional scenes that are practically variations on their most lauded turns . 
one scene in which a slightly de-glamed helen hunt ( de-glamed here means that not only is she a fashion victim [her look is somewhere between goth queen and trailer park mama] , hunt's hair is also natty and badly bleached ) verbally castigates spacey , feels right out of her as good as it gets oscar clip . 
spacey , of course , responds in his cultured monotone , that could be straight from his low key american beauty performance . 
maybe the actor should get an award for coming off the least self consciously irritating ; though how can he not , even when he's emoting spacey seems somehow shielded by a wry indifference . 
the usually talented helen hunt is the worst offender . 
in one atrocious touched by an angel moment hunt slaps osmet , immediately covering her mouth with the guilty hand in that very same stroke , and with said hand still on said mouth , she actually begins convulsing ( dry heaving really ) , then ( and i'm not making this up ) she scurries to the kitchen tearing the place apart in a frenzied search for alcohol . 
the scene is so hokey it could very nearly be construed as a parody of hackneyed tv movie blow-ups ; it's all very theatrical , especially hunt's performance , which feels like a pathetic plea to the academy for another oscar . 
pay it forward has the dubious distinction of being a film that could be used as an argument for why actors shouldn't get academy awards . 
the picture unknowingly affirms that oscars transform nuanced talent into overwrought expressionists . 
even haley joel osemt , the wunderkind who was nominated for an academy award for his unforced performance in sixth sense , seems more divisive about his expressions and inflections . 
his acting has become broader , less intimate ; it's as if we can make out the little munchkin's thoughts : "" boy this outta floor em "" . 
naturally osmet is made to play one of those only-in-the-movies children , a martyr-figure who cleans up after his mother , lectures her on the ills of drinking , and even fixes her up on a date with his intellectual teacher . 
never mind that the two couldn't be more dissimilar ; his mother is trailer trash dopey , and the teacher is one of those dennis miller-ey intellectuals who hides his insecurities behind a vast vocabulary . 
nevertheless this little nudnik goes out of his way to bring the pair together in a scene that recalls parent trap-ish cornball antics . 
but oh how we love bright , articulate , self-sacrificing children who pick adults up by their bootstraps and guide them through life . 
they're so adorable . 
of course the blame can't all be hoisted onto the actors ( though with the exception of the little kid , they probably should have known better ) , instead the brunt of it should be passed on to mimi leder , who directed one of the most thrilling episodes of er , then went on to make two awful genre films in a row . 
the first being the peacemaker , a witless post-cold war george clooney vehicle , and deep impact , one of the two films of 1998 to squander the premise of earth's possible demise by a crazed meteorite . 
the first flick was sunk by an over reliance on clich ? s , and a complete absence of any kind of emotional involvement , not aided by an ending which actually centered around the diffusing of a ticking time bomb complete with digital read out ( apparently present for an invisible audience ) . 
deep impact has more in common with pay it forward ; it's a movie that treats earth's impending destruction in awfully simplistic terms , completely ignoring the havoc that would so obviously take place if the world believed its planet would be a goner within days . 
the film was full of inspirational speeches where people really said nothing , though the sappy score swelled up to make it appear as if they were being profoundly touching . 
in pay it forward leder continues in this vein with her intermittent dollops of cynicism seeming almost like a rebuttal : "" see my movie isn't as na ? ve as you might think "" she seems to be saying . 
no , it's just horribly confused . 
"
"-1","where do i begin ? 
okay , how about with this : starship troopers is one of the worst movies to hit theaters in a long time . 
in fact , it might even be the worst * major * release film to come out in years . . . 
or even a decade . 
this is bad beyond belief . 
i would * not * suggest paying money to see this . 
there's a good chance you'll regret it . 
if you see it for free , you could still want to walk out . 
go right ahead . 
the movie starts off with cheesy 90210 scenes set in the future world of . . . buenos aires . 
here we meet the group of horrendously bad actors and actresses playing obnoxious , easy-to- * despise * -with-a-passion characters that have love triangles , love rectangles , and love hexagons screwing up their life . 
before long they all go off and join the military , primarily in the interest of having sex with the other youngsters that joined . 
they train . 
they strut around nude for no reason whatsoever . 
after an hour of making the audience scream in agony , they start fighting bugs . 
the big bugs look nice , even though their design is only "" okay . "" 
unfortunately , the fights are boring since we * want * all of the characters dead anyway . 
cue more agony . 
then some characters have sex . 
then some more die . 
 * * * who cares ? ? ? * * * 
cue more agony . 
the movie ends , the audience runs out to their cars , vomits over the pavement , and attempts to drive home . 
unfortunately , after that torture , they can't think straight , don't pay attention to the road , and many are in ugly car wrecks . 
you remember how batman & robin was bad ? 
well , batman & robin kicked this movie's sorry butt , people . 
starship troopers does not succeed as an action movie . 
it does not succeed as a drama . 
it does not succeed as a war movie . 
it does not succeed as a comedy . 
it does not succeed as a satire . 
it does not succeed as a parody . 
it succeeds as being horrible . 
terrible . 
gut-wrenchingly bad . 
i wanted to run away from that movie every minute . 
but i paid my money and i owed it to others to see if the movie got any better . 
so i stayed . 
it never got better . 
frequently , it did the impossible , and got * worse * . 
the movie as written , acted , directed , and basically just feels as a whole like it's about on the mental maturity level of a free willy 4 . the whole thing feels like a movie that only three-year-olds could enjoy . . . 
except for the ridiculously gratuitous blood and gore , and pointless nudity . 
it's written for little children , but children should definitely * not * go anywhere near it . 
of course , i recommend the same for everyone . 
don't go anywhere near it . 
verhoeven's got a streak going now . 
his last movie was showgirls . 
he seems to be trying to see how bad his movies can get before people finally stop coming . 
showgirls was a failure , but it appears that , though it'll be lucky to make near its budget , this movie will still do okay gross-wise . 
is it really * all * bad ? 
well , no . 
troopers has about four or five lines of dialouge/short humorous scenes that are actually funny , mostly from the "" do you want to know more ? "" 
commercials that pop up throughout the story , promoting the joys of the joining the troopers . 
so that adds up to about 30 seconds of entertainment and still about one hour , 59 minutes , and 30 seconds of miserable torture . 
i'm totally confused as to the way that some people are really enjoying this movie . 
but i do admit it . 
so , if you're willing to possibly put yourself through torture , go ahead and see it , and decide for yourself if you love it or hate it . 
i don't know how anyone or any * thing * could love this movie , but hey , to each his own . 
feel free to give it a shot . 
of course , in the interest of saving your souls , i don't recommend it . 
but guess what ? 
alien resurrection comes out november 26th , and , having already seen some of it and having read the script , i assure you that it will blow pretty much everyone away . 
though opinion on starship troopers is reasonably split , it'll be difficult to find someone that * won't * like alien resurrection when they've seen it . 
this is possibly the year's best intense action film , or at least * one * of the best . 
if you really want to see alien warfare that's played out intelligently and seriously , see alien resurrection . 
please , avoid this . 
"
"-1","adam sandler turns up the charm in his latest romantic comedy , the wedding singer . 
unfortunately , that also has the effect of softening his edge . 
he's nowhere near his peak of happy gilmore , not that it was much of one . 
he's certainly not helped here by a rather frail plot . 
the year is 1985 , letting the whole film obsess with 80s nostalgia . 
adam sandler is nice guy robbie , the titular wedding singer , who entertains at the local reception hall by belting out his interpretations of classic 80s hits . 
robbie's life is thrown into turmoil when his fiancee , linda ( angela featherstone ) , leaves him at the altar . 
however , things are looking up when he meets julia ( drew barrymore ) , a waitress at the hall . 
she's the perfect woman , but for one small flaw : she's engaged to be married to a slick junk bond king , glenn ( matthew glave ) . 
so , most of the film deals with the slow realization by robbie that he and julia are in love , and his attempts to stop the wedding . 
as far as plots go , it's a pretty thin and tired one . 
to fill the gaps , the wedding singer delivers heaping spoonfuls of 1980s nostalgia . 
from boy george to michael jackson , from miami vice to dallas , from the first cds to the last rubik's cubes , this film revels in all the minutiae . 
and then there's the music . . . 
learning a lesson from the successful soundtracks to grosse pointe blank , and romy and michele's high school reunion , this film packs more 80s songs in the film than the running time will allow . 
as a result , most songs get maybe a lyric or a half , but you can almost see the bright gleam in the record executives' eyes : the wedding singer vols . 
2 , 3 , and 4 ! 
while the nonstop 80s riffs get incredibly tiring , at least they distract you from the plot . 
at least last year's my best friend's wedding stirred up the standard "" keep your true love from marrying someone else "" plot by making the rival a nice person . 
here , glenn is such a lowly rat of a man that you never see what julia saw in him . 
barrymore , on the other hand , is simply charming as julia . 
which leaves us with adam sandler . 
he's at his best in the film when his nice guy persona fades a little ( such as when he has a breakdown on stage during a wedding reception ) . 
when he's in full nice-guy mode , he's more pathetic than endearing . 
the film boasts several cameos ( most notably by steve buscemi and jon lovitz ) . 
but none of them work well at all . 
buscemi's role as a drunken best man simply fails to be humorous . 
lovitz , on the other hand , as a rival wedding singer , makes you long for his good old days on saturday night live , where he was actually funny . 
the only cameo which has some appeal is a guest appearance by a classic 80s rocker during the film's finale ( surprisingly , one of the only plot-related scenes which actually works . ) 
adam sandler still has some work to do before he can become a dependable leading man . 
while he attempts to change his image in the wedding singer , the end result is no net gain . 
"
"-1","arriving in a barrage of hype , the blair witch project is one of the biggest box office success of the year . 
however , like the golden child , although blair witch has made a lot of money , it's not very good . 
donahue , williams and leonard play themselves as three students who set out to make a documentary about the blair witch myth . 
the film is made up of the camcorder footage they recorded , which means grainy footage and woozy camera angles . 
although events start of normal , they get weird pretty quickly , while the threesome argue more and more as the journey goes on . 
although an interesting premise , the blair witch project amounts to nothing more than a missed opportunity . 
the biggest mistake the film makes is to let three mediocre actors the chance to improvise . 
most of the dialogue is ad-libbed , and still manages to sound like a poor b-movie . 
the 'script' eventually degenerates into shouting matches , with the f-word included a lot to sound like students . 
there are breaks in these arguments where some creepy events occur , but then it's back to the shouting and swearing , which gets very tiresome very quickly . 
if i wanted to see three people get lost in the woods , shout a lot and swear , i'd go on scout camp . 
but no , the audience is meant to get some entertainment factor out of this , but i'm not quite sure how . 
the supernatural parts of the film are actually interesting , especially if close attention is paid to the story developing first twenty minutes . 
with no music and no budget to work with , the film has to depend on natural , psychological scares , which are sometimes well delivered , sometimes not . 
i never really felt truly scared during any part of the film , although there is a small sense of fear underlying throughout the film . 
however , because the actors are so irritating , the scares are lost when it eventually reverts back to heather saying 'what the f * ck is that ? ' 
a lot , and mike giggling like a loony . 
there's also the niggling fact that these student filmmakers do some really stupid things . 
the main problem is the fact that even though these hapless bunch could be killed at any moment , and are hopelessly lost , heather still insists on filming it all . 
the film gives a half hearted reason why she should want to do this , but it isn't very convincing . 
also , the students have no idea how to survive in the woods , such as following a large river flowing through the woods to civilisation . 
there are also some parts where the 'amateur' camcorder footage is obviously staged , heather's apology being a major one . 
the blair witch project , in the end , just fails to deliver . 
i suppose if you've been lost camping before , the film may deliver some chills , but this is no use for the other 99% of the paying audience who haven't been lost in the woods . 
apart from the final minutes , the film is mind boggingly unscary , and the shouting matches get hideously dull . 
the spook scenes are short and far between , and any other horror movie could probably achieve the same amount of fear that these scenes provide . 
although a good idea , it's not executed well enough to be a fun , scary cinema experience . 
it's a worrying fact when the website ( http : //www . blairwitch . com 
 ) is better than the film . 
"
"-1","the u . s . army utilizes a number of books known as field manuals which stipulate the specific way in which almost every action imaginable must be done . 
one particular field manual is known as the fm 22-5 , which among other things , covers the practice of saluting . 
under the "" saluting "" section is a sub-section which covers how a salute is rendered by a military work detail in the presence of a superior officer . 
the salute is rendered by the highest-ranking individual present when the superior officer comes within six paces of the detail , and is dropped when the officer passes six paces from the detail . 
in any event , the salute is rendered only by the man ( or woman ) in charge , rather than by the whole group . 
almost at the very beginning of the general's daughter , we see a general's motorcade passing a work detail . 
everyone salutes . 
it looked impressive , but it just wasn't right . 
that little bit showed me that someone either didn't do the appropriate research , or made the conscious decision to go with style over substance for the scene . 
in fact , this would serve as a metaphor for the rest of the picture , as it seems director simon west tried so hard to craft a film with atmosphere and flash that he forgot a coherent story and good characterization are also crucial to a good movie . 
what results is a film that looks good , but like that one scene , just isn't right . 
the first fifteen minutes of the film is a good example . 
paul brenner ( john travolta ) is an agent for the army's criminal investigation division , undercover at a georgia army base to investigate an illegal arms sale . 
prior to the transaction , the buyer gets a whiff that brenner isn't the unscrupulous supply sergeant he's supposed to be , and later that night attempts to kill him by shooting up the houseboat on which brenner is living . 
so ensues a cat and mouse action sequence which ends like a certain scene in raiders of the lost ark ( we'll just say that it involves propellers ) . 
brenner then receives new orders when the commanding general's daughter , captain elisabeth campbell ( leslie stefanson ) , is found naked , bound , and dead on one of the base's training ranges . 
he is teamed with rape investigator sarah sunhill ( madeleine stowe ) to uncover the truth about the peculiarly gruesome murder . 
what i want to know is why the whole action scene with the arms buyer was even necessary . 
it gives no insight into brenner , other than the fact that he's a little cocky . 
does the arms subplot turn up later ? 
no , so why add this extra running time to the film ? 
the answer : it looked cool . 
or how about the "" atmosphere "" ? 
the beginning of the general's daughter presents us with imagery of the deep south - thick trees , dirt roads , sultry colors over water - all backed up with bayouesque music . 
nice immersion in the setting , but it soon doesn't matter , for when the film's plot shifts over to the murder investigation , so does the entire mood . 
no attention is paid to the location of the story , and the music is altered to fit a very generic thriller theme . 
did the filmmakers start out thinking they were making a different movie ? 
instead of creating a cohesive atmospheric theme for the entire film , we get the distraction of one of theme followed by another , just because the director thought he should show off some of the countryside . 
the above examples also serve to illustrate that inconsistency is another problem with this movie . 
as i've already mentioned , an entire section of the film doesn't jibe with the rest , and the characterization only adds to the difficulty . 
brenner , who comes across as a man with little respect for authority , suddenly snaps to in the presence of general campbell ( james cromwell ) and utters some of the corniest "" yes , sir "" s i've ever heard . 
he even delivers an emotion-charged monologue about why he will work so hard to catch the person who killed the general's daughter , even though he was totally flippant about the whole thing just a couple of minutes previous . 
sunhill , who initially comes across as a professional investigator , utilizes a couple of blatantly illegal methods to obtain information , and even revels in her ingenuity . 
both characters are protagonists , but it's hard to get behind them when their personalities are all over the place , and in some cases , simply unappealing . 
i could imagine that during filming , west would shoot a scene , then take the actors aside and tell them , "" let's do it again , but this time , i want more . "" 
i say this because although travolta and stowe are normally very good , in this film they overact in most of their scenes . 
an even worse offender is clarence williams iii as the general's aide , colonel fowler . 
i swear the guy says all of his lines from the position of attention . 
a far cry from his days as linc in "" the mod squad "" , i can't help but think he was acting from west's direction . 
a couple of side characters including a west point psychologist ( john beasly ) and a young female private ( ariyan a . johnson ) make their scenes nearly impossible to bear . 
the only two actors who seem to have escaped west's influence are james woods , who provides a good performance as colonel moore , elisabeth's mentor at the psychological operations unit , and timothy hutton as colonel kent of the military police . 
woods relishes the role of a man whose job is playing with people's minds , and does so without ever taking it over the top . 
hutton just kind of hangs around , but at least he wasn't overacting . 
i haven't read the nelson demille novel on which this movie was based , but i'll bet more than a few dollars that the story was better in book form . 
the movie version has got characters which come and go with little or nothing to do except fill up space , or provide bits of information which seem to neither mean anything in terms of advancing the story nor reveal any significance once the whole story is finished . 
every time we're presented with some new aspect to the case , west gives us more of that flash by playing it up like it's the most momentous discovery ever , but the information is not used by the investigators at all . 
instead , when conclusions are drawn , they are such tremendous leaps of faith that you wonder if successful investigations are not based on facts , but lucky guesses instead . 
the army should have saved time by bringing in brennan and sunhill , letting them play a game of twenty questions with the suspects , then letting them guess who the killer was . 
would've been over in a half hour . 
the film finishes with a sort of bookend , featuring the same style and southern scenery as the very beginning . 
literally during the closing credits , we get to see brennan get in his car and drive off , then we get to see sunhill get in her car and drive off . 
they both seem kind of happy . 
maybe they were driving away from simon west . 
"
"-1","i don't appreciate it when a thriller manipulates the viewer into thinking the plot is interesting , when in fact it's ludicrous . 
in the case of the general's daughter , the plot is more than capable of intriguing you to a certain point . 
but at this juncture in the story , the movie begins to fall apart like a crumbling cookie . 
this predictable summer thriller is only sporadically involving , and that is unfortunately not enough to compensate for all of it's detailed flaws . 
get past one moment early on where john travolta exercises his southern accent , and you're likely to survive this entire movie . 
travolta plays criminal investigations divisions officer paul brenner , who's working undercover at a military base when another situation arises : the apparent rape and murder of a young female officer ( leslie stefanson ) . 
it turns out that the victim is the daughter of general joe campbell ( james cromwell ) . 
let the investigation begin . 
with the assistance of fellow cid investigator sarah sunhill ( played rather on-the-sidelines by madeleine stowe ) , brenner uncovers what appears to be an intricate and bizarre homicide case . 
things begin to get marginally engrossing when we meet colonel moore ( james woods ) , a former commanding officer of the deceased who has a few secrets up his sleeve . 
woods submits another scene-stealing performance here as he oozes authority , surrounded by clouds of smoke emitted from his cigar . 
with echoes of his supporting role in true crime , in which he duked it out with clint eastwood in enjoyably profane verbal exchanges , he makes every moment believable . 
here though , the intense dialogue comes care of confrontations with travolta , as the two send mindful , knowing glares across the room . 
there are many scenes such as this in the general's daughter , in which the veteran cast performs splendidly under pressure , but the circumstances that tie these meetings together are difficult to absorb . 
director simon west ( con air ) , shows a watchful eye of delivering a stylish looking thriller , but he fails miserably when it comes to the intellectual part of it . 
the general's daughter is , more often than not , a predictable and unexciting mess . 
it does not help matters that the plot is virtually actionless , dragging it's heels all the way at a mind-numbing snails pace . 
a few brief action scenes , marvelously handled in the editing department , show that the movie could have delivered such a more proficient package . 
from a director who does such a great job of staging explosions and miraculous stunts , i suggest west should stick with mindless , rip-roaring action features and attempt to avoid future projects like this . 
still , the movie is certainly not without it's merits . 
the acting is very good from the majority of the experienced cast . 
the performances range from commanding ( travolta ) to electric ( woods ) to stiff-as-a-board ( cromwell , who doesn't show off his real talents here ) . 
madeleine stowe manages to hold her own for a while , but as the female lead in an action-thriller , she doesn't pull through sufficiently . 
one of the problems with the execution is that it's very predictable . 
>from minute one , i had few doubts about the identity of the killer in question . 
the script even unwillingly points him out for us , using familiar techniques to hide his guilt until the unmasking toward the end . 
in all fairness , we've seen many of the devices used in the general's daughter put to greater effect in other films . 
the secrets behind the girl's mysterious death are explained gradually , but by the resolution we have tunneled through so much malarkey that it feels unnecessary and surprisingly silly . 
the general's daughter is not a terrible movie , and it is involving enough to sustain a viewer's attention span for a certain period of time . 
but it just could have been so much better . 
"
"-1","at one point in this movie there is a staging of an opera that goes completely wrong . 
but one member of the crowd stands up and cheers , thinking the performance was planned , and applauding it for their efforts . 
that's "" dirty work "" in a nutshell . 
a very different kind of movie . 
this is not a movie that i can easily review . 
the critic in me analyzes the structure , plot , acting , characters . 
 . 
 . and 
tells me this movie is terrible . 
but the norm macdonald fan in me had me rolling on the floor laughing . 
this movie plays more like an hbo sketch comedy than a movie . 
it's a one note concept . 
mitch and sam need $50000 in order to bribe a doctor to give their father a heart transplant before other more needy patients . 
realizing they are very good at revenge plots , they open a revenge for hire business , eventually running afoul of a rich businessman played by christopher macdonald ( who after roles in "" happy gilmore "" and "" veronica's closet "" seems typcast in this role ) , who sends them to destroy a building that mitch learns is the home of his girlfriend's grandmother , thus leading them to plot against the rich businessman on the night of the grand opening of a new opera house . 
first the critic in me . 
the plot is the standard poor guy vs evil rich guy device , where the main character meets the girl of his dreams along the way . 
here's the catch . 
none of the characters are sympathetic . 
they're all selfish jerks who don't care who they hurt in their attempts to do whatever they want . 
the jokes are juvenile , crude , appealing to the worst elements in people . 
there's jokes about prostitutes , the homeless , beastiality , anal sex . 
there's even a subplot that's developed , it seems , only to make jokes about infidelity and incest . 
and i loved watching it . 
i was a huge fan of norm macdonald's sarcastic , to-the-point comedy on saturday night live , and this movie is an hour and a half of it . 
norm macdonald takes a joke , strips it to the core , and tells it like it is with a dry wit . 
like the scene were he and his friend are learning the ropes at a new construction job . 
the foreman goes over the basics , which mitch and sam don't understand . 
how do they get out of it ? 
by admiting they lied on their resumes , and don't know a thing about construction ! 
and surprise , they get fired . 
the characters are incredibly mean-spirited . 
there's a father who's loud and obnoxious , a gambling addicted doctor played by chevy chase who tells sam of his father's condition by saying "" if i were a gambling man i'd put a lot of money on death . "" 
the businessman cole who always has his dog spunky , and does who knows what with it . 
and then there's mitch and sam , who , thinking they can get $50000 by destroying a building , ponder how their actions would ruin the lives of the residents . 
 "" too bad we have to do it , "" mitch says . 
here's a movie where every joke that is executed as it is set up , where you see every punchline coming , where every spot profanity could be used and then is used . 
at least the film is honest , and makes no mistake that it is anything more than idiotic . 
but at least it isn't dull , and it isn't predictable . 
and that's the way it should be . 
it's sketch comedy , and if you're a fan of norm macdonald , you'll love it . 
the jokes are crude , the characters are mean to the core , the attitude of the movie is that it just doesn't care . 
if you don't like norm macdonald , or stupid movies , then you probably won't like this one . 
the jokes are crude , the characters are mean to the core , the attitude of the movie is that it just doesn't care . 
so before seeing this one , tune your mindset , and prepare for a slew of norm macdonald humor , gay animal sex , prison rape jokes , uncaring characters , and one last performance from chris farley . 
the critic in me says ( * ) but i give it an 8 ( * * * ) . 
i just couldn't stop laughing . 
"
"-1","the new austin powers film continues a movie tradition begun in the eighties . 
produce something , anything , that will get the high school and junior high kids in the theater because they buy more soda and popcorn than senior citizens . 
the usual hallmarks of this filmmaking tradition are all here . 
gross humor , sex jokes , silly sight gags , more sex jokes . 
and the film is a strong contender in the current race to be cruder , grosser and more outrageous than that last film . 
what the film is not , however , is funny . 
the plot centers around the return of dr . evil , who goes back in time to steal austin powers' mojo ( a liquid with red stuff in it extracted from austin's pelvis ) which gives austin his sexual prowess and the charisma to defeat his enemies . 
austin must go after him , and returns to the swinging sixties where free love and sexy secret agents had their heyday . 
i almost avoided this film because i did not like the original . 
but the films premise sounded like an excellent comic vehicle and the film received many good reviews . 
i wish i had stuck to my first impression . 
myers is trying to be the jerry lewis of this generation . 
and he has the talent to do it , at least as an actor . 
but the material he is working with here , much of it his own , falls short of anything resembling comic genius . 
this movie tries to carry the day with sight gags about drinking distilled feces , a five-hundred-pound fat man's butt crack , and a barrage of sex jokes aimed at the level of the average 15 year old . 
after some of these scenes , one has to wonder how gross the next generation of films will have to go to get an audiences attention . 
the direction also helps the film achieve a new low point in cinematic humor . 
for the most part , i felt as if i was watching a saturday morning chalderns live action tv show . 
there is no sense of comic timing or subtlety . 
the director just throws the material at us , giving us nothing except the hope that anyone with a camera could be a film director . 
i am sure the film will have appeal to many of the under 22 crowd , at least the one's who have yet to discover literacy . 
certainly the movie is directed towards the generation that prefers everything described as 'in your face , kick you in the teeth , take no prisoners , ( action-verb +blah blah blah ) . ' 
if you see the film and you find you're not laughing , there is nothing wrong with you . 
it just means you grew up since seventh grade . 
"
"-1","to sum the entire film "" 54 "" up in one sentence , it would be : watch a vh1 documentary instead . 
 "" 54 "" , seems like someone brought william faulkner into 1978 , brought him into studio 54 , got him really drunk , told him to write about it , and then dumbed that down to be released to the public . 
a sloppy version of almost stream of conciousness spirals down into an oblivion of the illusion of sex , drugs , and disco . 
the narrator , shane o'shae ( ryan phillippe ) , works as a grease monkey in new jersey who , of course , on a whim decides to go into new york and try to get into studio "" 54 "" . 
phillippe gives a passable performance which could have been made by any young , attractive actor with a six pack stomach . 
he is let in by steve rubbell ( mike myers ) , the infamous co-owner of studio 54 , because he is attractive . 
he eventually becomes a bus boy and then a bartender . 
 . 
 . 
you expected more , didn't you . 
there isn't . 
the film builds up from nothing and becomes nothing as it's climax ( isn't that an apt word for studio 54 ) lands with a thud . 
the glitz of the club and perpetually semi-clothed patrons are used in an to attempt to show the it's glamour . 
for much of its target audience , college age to early thirties , it attempts to show celebrities mixing with "" normal people . "" 
this even fails since the only two celebs truly introduced are andy warhol and truman capote . 
you can be sure that half of the audience hasn't heard of them , another quarter only know their names , and the other quarter knew they were there already . 
the humor , if you can call it that , is built on an eighty year old woman getting high and 70s references like john travolta and olivia newton john making us laugh at how stupid we were back then 
the best performance in the film is given by mike myers as the perpetually high , sexually ambivlaent , very new york steve rubell . 
he seems to play rubell better than rubell would if he was still alive . 
he looks like rubell and sounds just like him while giving a subdued , almost nostalgic performance , when needed . 
it reminds you of his saturday night live character linda richmond on "" coffee talk "" sans dress and wig . 
the supporting cast of salma hayek , breckin meyer , and neve cambell are their only there to give added subplots which are introduced but lead absolutely nowhere . 
the romance between phillippe and cambell , as a soap opera star , is completely implausable . 
the two share about half as much screen time as there are shots of the eighty year old hooked on amphetimenes . 
hayek's wanna-be singer seems extremely forced and her husband , greg ( meyer ) stands in as shane o'shae's surrogate best friend . 
the subplots seemed forced and seem like they have been added just to make sure the film was over an hour and a half long . 
overall , "" 54 "" tried to give a view of the brashness of the place where crack flowed like heroin which flowed like wine . 
the film never leads to anything , has no obserable point , and covers up a lack of real plot with a veil of beautiful people . 
in truth , that reminded me of the eighies . 
"
"-1","you know , i never really wondered what the tarzan films would have been like had tarzan been an old man . 
while watching instinct , i couldn't help but acknowledge the way the film carelessly rehashes the well-explored themes of those earlier movies . 
even beside the tarzan comparison , instinct just isn't a very good film . 
it's painfully idealistic , manipulative , and silly . 
i didn't hate it -- it's simply impossible for me to hate any film starring anthony hopkins ; furthermore , most of the acting is quite good . 
but i can recognize instinct for what it is beyond my subjective admiration for the actors involved . 
i can also recognize reasons for wanting to make instinct , and it's pretty clear that this could have been a good film with a massive script overhaul and a director less interested in imitating movies like patch adams . 
things start off in the predictable way , as director jon turtletaub introduces us to our hero , theo caulder ( cuba gooding , jr . ) , an ambitious , young psychiatrist under the supervision of an experienced , old psychiatrist ( donald sutherland ) . 
caulder soon finds himself involved in the case of his life , the one he thinks will make him famous . 
the subject is ethan powell ( hopkins ) , an anthropologist who has been living among gorillas in africa for the past two years . 
powell has been charged with the brutal murders of several men in africa , and it's now caulder's job to find out of he's mentally competent enough to stand trial . 
through a series of short sessions , caulder tries to put together the complex psyche of powell . 
even though it really is an old man version of tarzan , much of this central idea is rather interesting . 
as i said , hopkins is captivating for every second he's on screen ; he has a way of convincing us that he's not acting , that he's actually a man who has just spent two years of his life living with a family of wild gorillas . 
the character himself isn't very interesting -- he's just an anthropologist who really likes gorillas -- but hopkins makes him interesting with subtleties both in speech and action . 
gooding jr . does strong work opposite hopkins , playing caulder as an intelligent and flawed individual . 
the screenplay , written by gerald di pego and "" suggested by "" a novel by daniel quinn , gives us no background information on caulder , but that seems to be the point ( he has no time for friends because he's obsessed with his work ) . 
nonetheless , these two actors are essentially the entire list of things that are good about instinct . 
unfortunately , filmmaking this inept can mangle the effect of even the best acting . 
turtletaub and di pego are both guilty of instinct's artistic failure , for they work together to make the dumbest , most cliche-ridden environment in which their characters are to live , and they do so by means of brainless subplots . 
first , we have the prison warden subplot . 
the prison warden is evil and wants to stop caulder's progress at any cost ; if this means taking caulder off the powell case , then that's fine . 
there's also the prison guard subplot . 
the prison guard is played by john ashton ; the prison guard seems to enjoy mercilessly beating upon the psychotics under his supervision , and he's instrumental in helping the story along to its obvious conclusion . 
then there's the daughter subplot , in which maura tierney ( playing the daughter ) must look very upset a lot of the time ; after all , she is the daughter of a deranged man . 
if some of this stuff sounds familiar , that's because they're all devices that have been used and reused in countless other films . 
the evil doctor in patch adams is not unlike the evil warden here . 
the offensive caricatures of mental patients lack the depth that the similar portrayals in one flew over the cuckoo's nest had . 
ashton's evil prison guard pales in comparison to clancy brown's in the shawshank redemption . 
hopkins' performance will undoubtedly remind audiences of his turn in the silence of the lambs . 
and then there's the whole tarzan thing , which is more than a little bit obvious through the entire film . 
perhaps what irritates me most about instinct is the half-hearted attempt at philosophical depth . 
the message powell brings back from the wild is not a subtle one : he thinks that humans are "" takers , "" that they expand and kill and that we should all just live like gorillas . 
i can sympathize with that , but only when it's in a compelling film . 
this is the kind of stupid movie -- just like patch adams -- in which a big group of characters ( psychotic inmates , in this case ) rise against the evil forces oppressing them by tearing up playing cards . 
what does any of this have to do with a man who has just spent two years of his life with gorillas ? 
if all the subplots of instinct had been left on the cutting room floor , we would have had a thirty-minute movie far superior to the two-hour one that i watched today . 
if the central idea had been developed beyond the old man tarzan premise , then we would really have had something interesting -- a movie that doesn't rely on the strength of its actors . 
"
"-1","in the finale of disney's "" mighty joe young , "" a 15-foot tall , 2000-pound gorilla holds a frightened young boy in its clutches as it topples from a crippled ferris wheel and plummets to the ground . 
upon impact , rugged everyman and perennial do-gooder bill paxton rushes in , containing the emotional crowd with an earnest "" move along now folks , there's nothing to see here . "" 
ok , so those aren't exactly the words he uses , but it's probably one of the few clich ? s not uttered in this unnecessary remake of an unnecessary remake of that mother of all monster movies , "" king kong . "" 
1949's "" mighty joe young "" was an update of that classic creature feature , also based on merian c . cooper's original story ( 16 years after "" 'kong "" it appeared the world was ready for a new take on the beauty and the beast fable ) . 
now some 49 years later , at least according to disney's way of thinking , the world is ready for one more . 
not so . 
the only--and i mean only--reason to see the 1998 version is for the special effects . 
and these , unfortunately , run hot and cold . 
today's joe young is designed and produced by special-effects whiz rick baker , who has been wowing audiences with his state-of-the-art make-up effects since 1971's "" schlock "" ( which , incidentally , featured a baker-enhanced "" gorilla "" ) . 
joe is a combination of animatronic effects , computer graphics , and that old standard , a man in a monkey suit . 
while there are occasional flashes of brilliance--baker's had a lot of practice with simian effects , after all , including "" gorillas in the mist , "" "" greystoke : the legend of tarzan , lord of the apes , "" and the 1976 remake of "" king kong "" --there's also some surprising cheesiness . 
one of the film's most embarrassing moments is when paxton's band of african trackers first encounter and pursue the larger-than-life primate ( in a scene unashamedly ripped off from "" the lost world : jurassic park "" ) . 
paxton jubilantly extols the beast's majestic gait at the same exact moment as joe , and the computer effects driving him , stutter to a halt . 
also , if the film's producers had wanted us to focus our attentions on the titular ape they shouldn't have paraded female lead charlize theron ( "" trial & error "" ) around in a seemingly-endless wardrobe of spaghetti-strapped tops . 
even joe seems distracted at times . 
the film piles on the clich ? s like there's no tomorrow , including the predictable plot ( anthro-zoologists ship gigantic gorilla to l . a . where urban havoc is inevitably wrought ) , predictable villain ( a lithuanian i think i overheard someplace ) , predictable love story ( bill and charlize--surprise ! ) , and predictable denouement ( "" 'twas box-office receipts that killed the beast "" ) . 
kids raised on "" men in black "" ( non-monkey effects also by baker ) are going to find ron ( "" tremors "" ) underwood's outing a little lame by comparison . 
while certainly better than 1978's "" king kong lives "" ( itself a lousy sequel to a not particularly good remake ) , "" mighty joe young "" proves how the mighty keep falling . 
"
"-1","an attempt at florida film noir , palmetto fails at the most fundamental levels . 
it's slow moving , uninvolving , and plain just uninteresting . 
harry barber ( woody harrelson ) is an ex-newspaper man , just out of jail after being framed for a crime . 
his luck hasn't been the best , but things are looking up when a mysterious woman , rhea malroux ( elisabeth shue ) , approaches him with a proposition . 
she wants harry to help her and her stepdaughter , odette ( chloe sevigny ) , pull off a fake kidnapping scheme to get $500 , 000 out of her stingy , but rich , husband felix ( rolf hoppe ) . 
at first , all harry is expected to do is provide a threatening voice on the phone , and to collect the money ( of which he gets to keep 10% ) . 
but , as the deed is carried out , things are not what they seem , and harry gets caught in the ensuing storm . 
palmetto pulls out all the stops to achieve a film noir film , but the effect never quite comes together . 
it's got the sultry florida heat , seductive women , and even curvier plot twists , but the whole thing smells of paint-by-numbers . 
sure , the right ingredients are there , but the end result is much too artificial . 
a lot of the problems lie with the script , which , though providing some genuine surprises , is packed full of leaden dialogue and bland situations . 
even the plot twists don't seem to flow well with the rest of the story . 
some of them , for example , come from so far afield that they seemingly only make sense because the writer needed a twist ( for example : harry's spontaneous job offer , or the whole typewriter situation ) . 
the characters are mostly lifeless , played to type , but not much more . 
woody harrelson plays harry with such imbecilic thick-headedness that it's hard to even picture him as an ex-journalist . 
elisabeth shue vamps it up , but doesn't add anything special to the role . 
chloe sevigny gives a terrible performance , trying to be a sexy 17-year old , but she just leaves a bad taste in your mouth . 
some of the supporting cast ( notably gina gershon and michael rapaport ) give stronger , but , in the end , meaningless performances . 
and to top it off , the pacing of the film is much too slow . 
as the movie grinds to a halt , you're given too much time to wonder why you're wasting it watching palmetto . 
if you're in the mood for this type of movie , you'd be much better off going out and renting some classic film noir . 
"
"-1","this film is worth seeing for those who want to see what mick jagger looks like when sporting an abe lincoln beard . 
the rock and roller is asked to carry the film as the action antihero of australian legend . . . ned 
kelly , the so-called robin hood of the aussies . 
but he fails to be convincing , in my opinion he is better suited to play gene kelly than ned kelly . 
the film opens to a b/w prologue of ned kelly bravely going to his execution . 
then it goes to technicolor and ned is seen in what goes for flashback , coming home from jail after a 3-year sentence to see his mom and reacquaint himself with the large kelly family . 
this scene is set in 1871 . 
in the background we hear the booming voice of waylon jennings , as he sings shel silverstein's lyrics , which tells -- of ned's hatred for the british rule and hope for ireland to be a republic . 
ned says a debt must be paid . . . 
as he hears voices from his dead father , his class-divided country , and his conscience , all telling him to get revenge . 
so begins ned's romp through australia's outback , seeking justice for all the wrongs his people have suffered . 
he begins by stealing horses , after complaining about the unfair tax law on horses that stray , which favors the rich landowners . 
when he's only 20 he forms a gang , causing him to hide the rest of his life from the police , who put a price on his head of two thousand pounds . 
when ned's mother ( clarissa kaye ) is jailed on a false charge of abetting criminals and sentenced to 3-5 years , ned offers to surrender in exchange for his mother's freedom . 
when the authorities refuse , the kelly brothers go on a robbing rampage , burning mortgages of the poor found in postal vaults and murdering some soldiers . 
rampaging through the outback , they gather sympathy among the poor and lower classes , who don't trust the traps ( police ) . 
spoiler to follow in the next paragraph . 
in the climax , kelly and his gang plan to ambush a train with british police , but someone kelly trusted tips the police on the train and kelly is trapped in a saloon and captured . 
ned's brothers commit suicide rather than be taken alive . 
but kelly's gang escapes , as ned heroically has the police go after only him and his brothers , as they become decoys . 
this was a flat presentation , hardly touching an emotional button on what all the fuss was about over ned kelly's call for justice . 
jagger didn't have a prayer in succeeding in this dry script offered by ian jones and tony richardson . 
the story failed to focus on australia , seemingly a more british film than australian . 
under richardson's lackluster direction , all jagger seemed to do , was proclaim his innocence and vow revenge , which soon became a shrill cry . 
if you want to see a better film about ned kelly , catch "" mad dog morgan "" ( 76 ) , a much truer and more daring version , with dennis hopper giving a much better characterization of ned kelly's madness , something this film could only do in a ho-hum manner . 
"
"-1","i think we should , as responsible citizens , all get together and stop jim carrey from making another movie . 
he's changing the cinema as we know it--and for the worst . 
i would willingly rewatch batman and robin rather then again sit through this miserable collection of filmic moments--prologues , epilogues , etc . the premise : a lawyer can't lie for a day . 
ho , ho . 
normally a movie made from this premise would be terrible--mr . 
carrey suceeds in making it unwatchable . 
i laughed once--and i was laughing at the sight of everyone else laughing . 
grinding doesn't begin to describe . 
it pounds on your head so forcefully and so unstoppably that , if you are a normal person , you leave feeling sick . 
when it's not trying to be funny , it's trying to be melodramatic--but it's just annoying , stupid and sappy . 
at best . 
this movie is intended to make people laugh , yes , not to be voted best picture of all time by sight and sound . 
but , it fails on every possible level . 
it fails to be funny . 
it fails to be insightful . 
it fails to be suspensful . 
it fails to be fun . 
they should pay people to see it . 
it suceeds on one level--it makes me want to get down on the ground and start thanking orson welles , for having lived . 
if you go in with the intention of coming out alive , please make sure that you are overly fond of boob , fart , pimple and fat jokes--otherwise you will go insane . 
yes , literally insane . 
stark , raving mad . 
it is boring , stupid , melodramatic and in the end ugly . 
i reccemond it strongly . 
to ed wood . 
"
"-1","the best thing -- in fact , the only good thing -- i can say about dark city is that it made me want to go see l . a . confidential again . 
or go rent body heat , to see william hurt do some real noir . 
or even -- god help me -- palmetto . 
alex proyas's new movie screams atmosphere . 
i screamed , too , "" get me out of this theater ! "" 
new line cinema spent millions of dollars creating the expressionistic film noir visuals and paying the actors , and doesn't have any way to get it back . 
i paid $4 . 25 for a matinee screening and don't have any way to get my money back , either . 
you'll hear a lot from other critics about the look and feel of this movie . 
i will admit that the cinematographers and costume designers and set artists and cgi graphics geeks all worked hard to create a stunning , nightmarish future world where it's always a late night in 1948 , complete with rotary phones and automats and fedoras . 
i've got news for you fellows -- i don't care how hard you worked , or how visually stunning this movie looks -- you wasted your time and mine , working on a movie without a plot , without a clear sense of direction of where it wanted to go , without a soul or a reason to care . 
the movie starts out oh-so-promising . 
john murdoch ( rufus sewell ) is lying in a bathtub in the sort of seedy hotel that in real life , would have been boarded up long ago . 
there is a dead , mutilated prostitute in the other room -- a surprise , as he has lost his memory . 
the phone rings : it's a sinister-sounding man , claiming to be his doctor , telling him to flee for his life . 
all well and good , right ? 
wrong . 
apparently , someone decided that the audience was just a bit too dim to figure out the intricacies of the plot . 
 ( this is getting to be a popular assumption in hollywood . ) 
so , the actual beginning of the movie is not sewell running for his life , rather , it's a voice-over narration by the aforementioned doctor ( keifer sutherland ) explaining exactly what is going on and who is responsible . 
it's as though sam the piano player had told us that rick and ilsa had been getting it on in paris in the first three minutes of casablanca . 
no , wait , that's not fair to casablanca . 
it's more like watching a new plotline at the first of the show -- or if you want to know how i really feel , having an off-screen narrator explain that gilligan won't be getting off the island in this episode . 
>from here , the coherence of the plot goes down faster than ( insert monica lewinsky joke here ) . 
the characters just wander around the city aimlessly and bump into each other for no apparent reason , and that's what moves the plot . 
what we're left with is a string of unanswered questions that don't make any sense . 
we're given aliens with unlimited omnipotent powers , yet they forget to use them at critical moments and get themselves killed . 
we're given a hero who can "" tune "" into these same powers , yet he only uses them when it's convenient to the plot . 
we're given a whole long list of loose ends that go nowhere 
usually , critics will say that an actor playing an underwritten part "" isn't given much to do . "" 
in this movie , no one is given anything to do . 
sewell is given the impossible role of a man who doesn't remember anything , and plays it like . . . 
um . . . 
a man who doesn't remember anything . 
the aliens are tall , pasty-faced , and bald , and wear long black cloaks and fedoras to remind us that they're evil -- and there's a child alien as well , straight out of an anne rice novel . 
sutherland is saddled with a limp , a twitchy eye , and a breathy accent to remind us that he's in league with the aliens . 
to its credit , dark city boasts two impressive bits of casting . 
william hurt is perfectly cast as the world-weary inspector charged with catching the man who is murdering prostitutes all over the city . 
jennifer connelly , playing sewell's love interest , is given two all-too-brief moments on screen as a lounge singer -- and turns in the sexiest performace this side of jessica rabbit . 
but instead of the dogged policeman and the femme fatale given central treatment in the script ( the way they would be in any self-respecting noir movie ) they're almost tangiential to the plot , such as it is . 
the problem with dark city is this : it's a bad science fiction movie pretending to be film noir . 
the essence of film noir isn't , as proyas seems to beleive , breathy dialogue or snap-brim fedoras or tall , bald evil villains who would make peter lorre curl up in a corner . 
dark city has not one bit of intrigue , moral ambiguity , suspense , or anything else that keeps us coming back to the noir classics . 
dark city is like the intricately carved door that kate winslet floats on in titanic . 
it's an exceptionlly well-made and intricately designed piece of flotsam , sailing around and around the middle of the ocean , going nowhere . 
"
"-1","you always have to be careful with the first official studio release out of the gate each year . 
they're obviously films for which the studios have no great hopes ( having missed both the deadline for academy award eligibility and the big box-office holiday season ) . 
combine that with howie long's first starring action role , and you've got a doozy of a movie that , while not as bad as it could have been , isn't a very good film . 
howie stars as an ace smokejumper ( a firefighter who parachutes into forest fires unreachable from the ground ) . 
in the slightly contrived opening scenes , we witness his heroism in action , as he , and his mentor ( played by scott glenn ) attempt to rescue a small girl and her dog from an oncoming forest fire . 
william forsythe plays the bad guy , a mass murderer who has several million dollars tucked away to help fund his jailbreak . 
he ( and five convict cohorts ) manages to get selected for firefighting duty when a woodland blaze just happens to ignite nearby . 
his escape plan bets a lot on the laxity of the guards , but ( since there must be a movie ) luck is with him . 
soon the now-escaped convicts are masquerading as canadian firefighters . 
why canadian ? 
who knows , eh ? 
along the way they pick up a pretty birdwatcher ( suzy amis ) to be their hostage . 
enter howie long . 
he's called in to help fight the blaze , and when he spots the group of "" ground pounders "" , apparently lost , he parachutes in to help . 
when he discovers their true identity , he is the only thing standing between them and escape , and the only hope of help for the hostage . 
long's acting talents are above those of , say , steven seagal , but not by much . 
although his delivery is mostly flat and wooden , he's a likeable hero , and there are some hints here and there that he may get better . 
the script doesn't help him out any , however . 
all too often , it veers into the realm of the unintentionally funny . 
the dialogue is strictly b-movie material , and the plotting relies too heavily on coincidences to be believable . 
long's co-stars are a mixed bag . 
at least they're all comfortable in their respective roles . 
forsythe has the scenery-chewing villain down cold , down cold , and scott glenn is always enjoyable to watch , even when he doesn't seem to be stretching his talents ( as is definitely the case here ) . 
suzy amis plays peril pretty well , but isn't given much more to do . 
some of the nature and wildfire shots are interesting , but many are rather bland . 
you'd think that the director , dean semler , a former cinematographer , would at least produce a film with interesting visuals . 
that's not the case . 
there's a lack of originality to nearly all the sequences . . . we've 
seen this stuff before . 
it's not the most auspicious start to 1998 , but it could have been worse ( just think back to 1996's debut , bio-dome ) . 
however , after a month of oscar-caliber pictures , a movie like firestorm at least gives you some perspective on how good those movies really were . 
in fact , there's a good chance that some of them are still playing near you . . . 
"
"-1","synopsis : easily-angered , chainsmoking architect david encounters his homicidal first wife diedre five years after their divorce . 
diedre easily cons david's not-so-bright new wife molly into believing she's a child psychologist so that she can influence molly and david's quick-tempered son , michael . 
diedre , at the same time , murders a bunch of people . 
comments : the ex is a very bad movie . 
i haven't seen a turkey of this magnitude in quite a while . 
i kept vacillating , however , between giving the ex one star for its sheer awfulness and three stars for its campy humor ( ultimately , i decided to split the difference and give it two stars ) . 
as summarized briefly in the synopsis , this is yet another spurned-psycho-lover-gets-her-revenge type movie . 
i'm not sure how many films have been produced since fatal attraction which use this tired storyline , but it seems like 10 , 000 , 000 , 000 . 
the ex , however , though following many of the standard cliches of this thriller subgenre , differs slightly from the norm in that , at least , it doesn't take itself too seriously like so many other duds do ( malicious and stalked are two examples which come to mind ) . 
those involved in the movie realize they're in a turkey , apparently , and turn in hammy performances which compliment the ludicrous dialogue contained within the script . 
the ex's storyline , as i said , incorporates many cliches predominant in films of its nature ; however , the plot is so overwrought and unbelievable that , after a while , the viewer must accept that logic does not operate in the realm of the movie . 
diedre , david's first wife , kills and kills and kills , for example , without ever having to worry about police investigations and the like ( it's not as though she's bright enough not to leave fingerprints at the scene of the crime ) . 
david and his new wife molly have an incredibly difficult time understanding why michael , their son , has emotional problems , specifically his inability to control his anger . 
though david smokes like tomorrow will never come and blows up at people every other minute in the movie , the connection between him and his son is not made . 
molly is easily swayed by diedre into believing she's a child psychologist and allows the demented woman to spend time with her son . 
time and time again , things do not add up in this movie . 
if a viewer can't accept this fact , then he will definately not like the ex . 
if , on the other hand , he can appreciate the movie for its campiness , then he'll probably like it much better . 
i don't mean to necessarily suggest , however , that the ex is a memorable exercise in camp . 
even when viewed from an it's-so-bad-it's-good angle , this movie isn't all that successful . 
the ex does have its moments , though , almost all of which involve yancy butler ( the psychotic diedre ) and nick mancuso ( david ) . 
these two actors turn in decidedly hammy performances which , oftentimes , elicit chuckles from the audience . 
the truly awful lines written for them help this humor along . 
butler gets the larger portion of bad dialogue ; every time her character kills someone , she has a punchline that's unbelievably inane . 
when she murders a tenant of an apartment she wishes to use to spy on david , for example , diedre whacks the elderly lady with a crowbar and states "" i'm so sorry , your lease is terminated . "" 
or how about when diedre takes out her therapist in another ridiculous scene ? 
 ( diedre's therapist wishes to have her recommitted , so she decides to visit diedre , alone , in her new apartment -- never realizing , of course , that it's not her's . 
therapists typically are catatonically brain-dead in these movies ) . 
having successfully snuffed the woman out , diedre looks at the body and says : "" what was it that you always said to me at the end of each session , dr . jones ? 
oh , that's right . 
'i'm sorry , but your time is up ! ' "" 
this is what passes for humor in the film . 
the audience doesn't necessarily laugh but groan ( the type of groan that suggests the audience can't believe they're watching this crap -- although watching it they are ) . 
nick mancuso's chainsmoking , nervous-wreck character does not have the cheesy lines that butler's character delivers , but his ridiculously overdone performance provides for some better comic relief . 
in between drags off his cigarette , for instance , in one of the movie's best scenes , david tries to explain to his lawyer what a creep his ex-wife is . 
in exaggerated exasperation , he nearly shouts "" the woman is a cuckoo-bird ! "" 
 ( trust me , it is funny in context . ) 
and so , the movie continues until its painfully obvious conclusion . 
i won't reveal the ending specifically ( though anyone remotely familiar with thrillers of this type could probably guess the ending just from this film review ) , but i will say that the ex has one of the biggest fire hazards appearing recently in film . 
molly and david own a cabin that becomes engulfed by flames in approximately three seconds ! 
molly , at one point in the film , not-so-brilliantly observes , after discovering diedre has moved into an apartment across from her family's to spy upon them , that "" she's crazy . "" 
you'd be pretty crazy too if you'd rented this turkey . 
i'd avoid it unless it's on tv and you come across it . 
if you do , you may want to watch it , groan at the bad punchlines and stupid plot , and feel good that you didn't spend money renting it . 
"
"-1","the blues brothers was a wonderful film , a hilarious comedy packed with good music . 
it cried out for a sequel , but john belushi's untimely death seemed to eliminate the idea . 
however , eighteen years have passed , and the long dormant sequel has finally emerged . 
unfortunately , it's a sequel not worthy of the original . 
the film starts exactly eighteen years after the first one ended . 
elwood blues ( dan aykroyd ) is just getting out of jail , his brother jake having recently died . 
as in the first film , he first visits mother mary stigmata ( kathleen freeman ) and then sets about getting the band back together . 
john belushi's absence leaves a terrible hole in the film , and although three new characters are created to fill the void , it is still very noticeable . 
first , there's cabel ( joe morton ) the illegitimate son of elwood's stepfather ( played by cab calloway in the first movie ) . 
cabel is reluctant to join his destiny , and spends most of the movie as an illinois sheriff , chasing the blues brothers band . 
next , there's mighty mack ( john goodman ) , a bartender who becomes the new lead singer of the band . 
finally , there's buster ( j . 
evan bonifant ) , a ten year old orphan who tags along with elwood and eventually joins the band . 
the plotting of the film is hardly original . . . it 
seems to be almost a clone of the original . 
elwood has to go to reluctantly retrieve each member of the band , they then travel , while being pursued by the police , and perform at several odd stops until they finally reach the big concert finale . 
the first film had neo-nazis as the random element , this time around , the russian mafia and a militia group fill their role . 
in fact , the duplication of the plot is so ridiculously complete that certain scenes are practically identical to the original . 
remember the classic performance at country bob's ( where they like both types of music : country and western ) from the first movie ? 
well , this movie has a performance at a country fair , where the band is expected to play bluegrass music . 
there's the massive police car pileup , although this time the gag falls completely flat . 
there's even an exact replica of the conversion scene in the church of reverend cleophus ( james brown ) . 
there are plenty of recurring characters too . 
in addition to mother stigmata and reverend cleophus , aretha franklin reprises her role as mrs . murphy . 
frank oz , a prison guard in the first film , makes an appearance here as the prison warden . 
as the stars , the new blues brothers don't live up to their legacy . 
aykroyd is more loquacious , yet much flatter as elwood . 
john goodman barely has a character as mighty mack . 
joe morton has the deepest character , but not a terribly interesting one , as cab . 
and what's the deal with the orphan ? 
it plays like a desperate gimmick that doesn't mesh at all with the rest of the film . 
at least bonifant isn't as precocious as he could have been in the role . 
but the true star , and the only saving grace , of the film is the music . 
and the film is packed with it ( even during and after the ending credits ) . 
although there are no brilliant mergers of comedy and song as in the original's rawhide/stand by your man medley , the music is very much enjoyable . 
to top it off , the film is packed to the gills with cameo musician appearances . 
b . b . king , blues traveler , eric clapton , travis tritt , wilson pickett , erykah badu , bo diddley and steve winwood are just a sampling of the multitude of stars that make an appearance here and there . 
unfortunately , the music pauses here and there to allow in the familiar plot . 
if simply copying the original blues brothers wasn't bad enough , writers aykroyd and john landis dumb it down , removing any memorable characters , and replacing them with flashy , but unbelievable , magical gimmicks . 
it's a shame . 
buy the soundtrack and avoid the film . 
better yet , rewatch the original . . . you'll 
have a much better time . 
"
"-1","michael crichton has had a long career of writing novels , many of which are science fiction . 
the most profitable film adaptation of any novel was an adaptation of a michael crichton science fiction novel . 
so in the logic of the film industry a good way to make a profitable film would be to make a big-budget adaptation of another crichton science fiction novel . 
congo failed , and i am afraid that sphere is probably not going to fare a whole lot better . 
it a little better than just okay novel and it makes a film that is not even that good . 
the film is expensive , over one hundred million dollars ; is long , 133 minutes ; has a terrific cast , including dustin hoffman , samuel l . jackson , and sharon stone ; but has little that is really original and less that is exciting . 
several years ago dr . norman goodman ( played by dustin hoffman ) was asked to write up a set of procedures for the government to follow if an alien entity was actually encountered . 
the plan he wrote was only semi-serious , but did explicitly define a team of experts who should investigate the alien . 
now that team has been assembled by a mysterious team leader named barnes ( peter coyote ) to study a spacecraft almost a half mile in length that apparently dropped into the pacific ocean in the early 1700s . 
suddenly norman's less than serious procedure has become an action plan for dealing with a real alien spacecraft . 
included in the team to investigate are mathematician harry adams ( samuel l . jackson ) , biologist beth halperin ( sharon stone ) , and astrophysicist ted fielding ( liev schreiber ) . 
together they travel to the deep pacific spaceship to understand its secrets . 
one major secret is the meaning of the huge sphere of gold-toned liquid metal at the heart of this spaceship . 
what is disappointing about this film is that it does not have really effective performances . 
director barry levinson is at his best with good actors rather than good special effects . 
the problem here is he is making a big-budget science fiction film . 
it has some effects , but the most intriguing effect he shows only as an outline on a radar screen . 
the technique is to suggest rather than to show and let the actors and the viewer's imagination carry the film as robert wise did with the haunting . 
that could be a reasonable approach in a low-budget film . 
but that requires creating much more atmosphere than levinson can manage to muster . 
it requires the actors to give really compelling performances and simply put , they don't . 
hoffman's acting seems muted . 
jackson seems to laid back . 
we do not feel for these characters and do not get inside their heads . 
levinson paid big bucks for his actors and does not really get price performance . 
and why we have queen latifah as a minor functionary on the expedition is anybody's guess . a 
cast of unknowns could have delivered as much emotional impact at a fraction of the price . 
look how much more powerful a film like alien was with only moderate actors . 
most science fiction spectaculars these days have second-tier actors and first-tier special effects . 
levinson tries second-tier effects , and first-tier actors , but never makes that exchange pay off for the viewer . 
perhaps sci-fi spectaculars are just not an actor's medium . 
the result gets a 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and 0 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"-1","american pie 2 is filled with laughs . 
but they are mostly cheap ones built primarily upon sexual degradation and adolescent humor more fit for a locker room than a movie theater . 
i'm no prude and i admit to laughing along with everyone else at the preview screening to this sequel to the 1999 hit comedy . 
but the laughs are built on discomfort and embarrassment , not on any intrinsic humor from within the story itself . 
what separates american pie 2 from its predecessor is heart . 
of the original , i noted it was "" a warm , pleasant outing about the travails of growing up . "" 
well , the quartet of chums - jim ( jason biggs ) , oz ( chris klein ) , kevin ( thomas ian nicholas ) and finch ( eddie kaye thomas ) - have grown up . 
at least they are a year older , but don't seem any wiser . 
fresh from their first year of college the quartet , along with the obnoxious stifler ( seann william scott ) , rent a summer house by the lake in order to attract girls in an attempt to score . 
as usual nothing goes right until the last reel . 
but what we are left with is five guys spending nearly two hours drooling over various young women . 
and american pie 2 is rather degrading to women . 
for the most part , they are not shown as individuals . 
they are nothing more than potential recipients of over-active , raging hormones . 
it is telling that the most normal couple , oz and heather ( mena suvari ) spend the bulk of the film trying to have phone sex - she's overseas on an exchange student program . 
despite having been to college , jim is still klutzy and awkward , unsure of himself around the opposite sex . 
most of the pratfalls and humiliations are heaped upon him , including a painful episode involving an instant glue-like substance . 
also uncomfortable to watch is a sequence involving three of the lads with two young women roommates , whom the boys suspect of being lesbians . 
it is offensive and plays upon outdated , adolescent stereotypes to generate laughs . 
the first film , despite some raunchy moments , had an innocent charm to it . 
the sequel is more cynical . 
it knows what its predominantly male audience members want and unabashedly gives it to them : the many mentions of finch's encounter with stifler's mom becomes a tiresome running gag throughout as does eugene levy's return as jim's well-meaning , trying-to-be-hip dad . 
the only performer who is actually given some new , fresh material is alyson hannigan as michelle , the band geek from the original . 
in the sequel , she imbues her character with vulnerability , wisdom and maturity . 
american pie 2 is a pre-sold commodity that will earn several million at the box office . 
it is a shame , though , that in its rush to rake in some bucks screenwriter adam herz , who also penned the original , could not have set his sights higher . 
american pie 2 is funny , but it's still a comedown as well as a letdown . 
"
"-1","well , what are you going to expect ? 
it's a movie about a big snake that eats people . 
that's what i should have been thinking when i viewed this film , because maybe then i would have enjoyed myself more . 
instead , i ended up wishing a giant snake would come along and eat me , too . 
anaconda is about a documentary film crew sailing down a south american river . 
led by anthropologists dr . steven cale ( eric stolz ) and terri flores ( jennifer lopez ) , the crew is attempting to locate a lost tribe of natives . 
along the way , they find poacher paul sarone ( jon voight ) , and become unwillingly embroiled in his quest to capture the elusive anaconda . 
to simply say that this is the world's largest snake wouldn't be doing it justice , since the anaconda in this movie is at least two feet wide . 
if this isn't a good reason to avoid picking up hitchhikers , i don't know what is . 
at the beginning of anaconda , we find that flores and cale have had some kind of relationship in the past , but that seems to be more or less over now . 
i expected that fact to play a key part somewhere down the line , but it ended up being a set-up for nothing . 
cale chokes on a deadly wasp ( don't ask me how that happens - i don't know ) and is put out of action , relegated to being the person whom the rest of the film crew must get back to civilization for medical help . 
this minimally helps to add a sense of urgency for the plot , since this goal now comes in direct conflict with sarone's plan to capture the snake . 
however , this is negated by the fact that cale seems to get better by himself about halfway through the film , and in any event still results in zero payoff from the relationship angle . 
most bad characters are either annoying or stupid . 
in this movie , they're both . 
since this description applies to all the characters except sarone , it's hard to find someone to root for . 
you're supposed to back the good guys , but you really end up cheering for sarone because he's smarter than everyone else . 
or maybe he's just not as dumb as everyone else . 
at times , i almost found myself rooting for the snake . 
there are no standout performances here . 
everyone seems to be reciting lines written for stock characters . 
even voight appears to be doing his best impression of christopher walken for some reason . 
no matter , as in most monster movies , the snake is supposed to be the real star anyway . 
in most of the scenes , the snake is computer generated , and the effects crew did a decent job of making it look real . 
however , the realism is thrown off by some pretty unrealistic occurrences . 
sometimes , for example , the snake just moves too fast . 
it catches a guy jumping off of a waterfall , for crying out loud . 
then there's another scene where the snake eats one of the characters , and we see the snake's skin drawn so tightly over its prey that we can see the victim's pained expression from within the snake's belly . 
absolutely ridiculous . 
a testimony to the film's bad direction is the inclusion of a scene early on the in the film , where we get to see just how dangerous the mighty anaconda is . 
in a scene totally unrelated to anything else , we are witness to the big snake winning a showdown with a panther . 
the anaconda wraps itself around the powerful feline as if it were a stuffed animal and squeezes it so hard , one of the panther's eyeballs pops out . 
eeeewwwww . 
above and beyond the sick factor , however , this scene surprised me because it actually showed the face of the snake before a quarter of the movie had even passed . 
in films like these , a sense of mystery surrounding the monster must be maintained . 
if the characters are reacting to something they fear more than see , we as an audience must experience that feeling along with them . 
to show us the monster early on is to let us in on something the characters don't know about , and therefore allow us to get used to the danger before the pivotal moment when man and beast have their climactic showdown . 
in a case like that , the showdown just ends up being a letdown . 
when i saw the snake for the first time , i decided to give the film the benefit of the doubt and assume that the snake i saw wasn't the real danger . 
this one was just a decoy , and there was actually a bigger snake waiting to make its appearance just when everyone thought they were safe . 
no such luck . 
okay , maybe anaconda is actually a decoy , and there's really a better movie waiting to make its debut . 
"
"-1","this film is extraordinarily horrendous and i'm not going to waste any more words on it . 
"
"-1","midway through "" anaconda "" , documentary filmmaker terri flores ( jennifer lopez ) turns to a co-worker and says "" i thought this movie would be my first big break . 
instead , it's turned into a disaster . "" 
truer words have never been spoken . 
 "" anaconda "" is a monster movie with a lousy monster . 
it's a suspense film that is utterly predictable . 
it's a mess the film does manage to drum up some scares , but only in the most elementary way , like a jack-in-the-box . 
as you turn the crank , you're totally aware that the damn clown is going to pop up , but somehow it's still mildly startling when it happens . 
the main difference between the giant snake in "" anaconda "" and the clown in a jack-in-the-box is that the clown is more realistic . 
 "" anaconda "" boasts some of the worst special effects to appear onscreen in years . 
animatronic shots of the snake look as phony as any of those cringe- inducing robots you've endured at disney world . 
but it's the computer animated scenes that truly expand the meaning of the word lame . 
in one shot , a character tries to flee from the monster by diving from a tree near a waterfall , but the giant snake springs out and loops around its hapless victim in mid air . 
the scene , if done well , would have been a jaw- dropper . 
here , the horribly bad digital effects look less convincing than a saturday morning cartoon . 
what's really amazing is that the filmmaker's were so proud of this dreadful shot that they actually included it in the promotional trailers for the movie . 
but enough about the phony snakes . 
now it's time to talk about the lousy story . 
heroic and very pale anthropologist eric stoltz leads a documentary film crew down a brazilian river in search of the shirishama indians , a legendary tribe that supposedly lives in the boondocks of the rain forest . 
stoltz tells his crew "" pray that you didn't forget your bug spray . "" 
apparently the female crew members bathed in the stuff , because they spend most of the film wearing skimpy tops and short shorts with no ill effect . 
along the way , the group rescues a whacked-out lapsed priest ( jon voight ) who claims to know how to find the shirishama . 
within minutes , they throw away all their plans and follow voight down a tributary into the land of creepiness . 
from that point on , the film is a hodgepodge of scenes and shots ripped off from "" jaws "" and "" dead calm . "" 
one of the oddest structural points of the film is the handling of eric stoltz . 
early in the story , his character gets knocked into a coma by a river insect and spends virtually the rest of the movie unconscious . 
so why did they hire an actor of the caliber of stoltz for what amounts to a cameo appearance ? 
also , why did stoltz , who generally selects his roles with great care , agree to appear in this crap ? 
ah , the mysteries of hollywood . 
the remaining crew members are basically just snake food waiting to happen . 
jonathan hyde is mildly diverting as a pompous englishman hired to narrate the documentary , but lopez and ice cube manage to rise above their cardboard characters . 
lopez , who starred in "" selena , "" is an enormously appealing performer , possessing a vibrancy that makes even the most trite lines seem credible . 
ice cube has a special charisma ; an ability to look like a macho adult and a frightened boy simultaneously . 
there's also a special twinkle in his eyes , as if he's gently mocking his own tough-guy posturing . 
but the movie really centers around the outrageously hammy performance of jon voight . 
obsessed with capturing one of the giant anacondas , voight plays the villain in thick accent , with a series of leers and hisses , spouting the kind of dialogue usually heard only in episodes of "" jonny quest . "" 
at one point , he looms over the crew and says "" the anaconda is the perfect killing machine . 
it strikes , wraps around you , holds you tighter than your true love . 
and you get the privilege of hearing your bones break before the power of its embrace causes your veins to explode . 
 "" that moment is so high-camp that it almost made the film tolerable . 
almost . 
fans of the horror genre may be tempted to check out "" anaconda . "" 
don't . 
there are a lots of horror films scheduled for release this summer , including another "" alien "" sequel . 
wait for them , rent "" jaws "" in the meantime , and don't throw away your money and time on drivel like this . 
"
"-1","if the 70's nostalgia didn't make you feel old , the 80's nostalgia is bound to . 
one of the latter set , "" the wedding singer , "" seems to be written by someone who did not experience the 1980's directly but only read about them in an article in parade magazine . 
the wacky fashions are here . 
 . 
 . 
and the music . 
 . 
 . 
and references aplenty to celebrities and signs of the times , but it all seems tediously-and too obviously-inserted for the didn't-we-dress-funny-back-then chuckle . 
the plot is standard romantic comedy with nothing original : robbie ( adam sandler ) is a wedding singer ; julia ( drew barrymore ) waits tables at weddings . 
both are engaged ; however , robbie's fiance ( angela featherstone ) dumps him at the altar , and julia's fiance ( matthew glave ) is a skirt-chasing speculator in junk bonds . 
robbie and julia go through the expected ups-and-downs as they realize they were meant to be together . 
i'll fess up-i've never found adam sandler funny . 
whatever his appeal is , i've missed it . 
 ( other comedians i don't get include pauly shore and pee wee herman-make your own judgments ) . 
the stupidity and artificiality of the whole project is summarized in a cameo by billy idol as himself . 
idol looks like hell , and the ravages of his lifestyle are barely concealed by thick makeup . 
he's mocked by a photo of his younger self on a rolling stone cover in the same scene . 
we're not supposed to notice that , and we're not supposed to notice how silly it is that billy idol suddenly appears to play fairy godmother to robbie . 
other cameos , by steve buscemi and jon lovitz , provide the only real laughs in the movie . 
lovitz is especially good , playing a rival wedding singer plotting with the mania of a bond villain to take advantage of robbie's post-break-up depression . 
"
"-1","synopsis : nice girl susanne has sex with her boyfriend daniel in his car , visits daniel's rich family during thanksgiving at their mansion in the middle of nowhere , and has sex with daniel again in the basement . 
susanne and daniel must then decide where to hide from evil art thieves who shoot everyone else in the mansion to steal paintings . 
brace yourself for one of those painfully obvious "" surprise endings . "" 
comments : thanksgiving . 
for most , it's a time to be with your loved ones and enjoy a good , home-cooked meal . 
for the makers of body count , however , thanksgiving is a time for multiple murders , violence , profanity , family dysfunction , and sex . 
boy , do i feel all the more better having sat through this crap . 
alyssa milano , the former child star of who's the boss ? , matures to made-for-video sludge like this movie . 
someone somewhere thought it'd be a great idea to pair her with rapper ice-t , who has since guest-starred in the made-for-the-sci-fi-channel series welcome to paradox . 
this isn't exactly a winning combination . 
outside of permanently ruining a holiday for me , what else may be said for this turkey ? 
well , it teaches us that beautiful , attractive women who look strikingly like alyssa milano fall in love with nerds who drive down long winding roads with their eyes closed and complain about being english teachers . 
it presents us with a heartwarming thanksgiving dinner attended by alcoholic , stuck-up rich white people waited on by black servants . 
it shows us that old guys , try not to laugh , sit around and talk about "" the appeal of postmodernism "" during their free time . 
and , it proves that you can have sex in your parents' basement when they have a dozen or so guests over , and no one will notice . 
before i go any further , if any young male reading this has hopes of seeing alyssa naked , forget it . 
the filmmakers cleverly shoot the simulated sex scenes in a manner that makes sure you don't see any of milano's attributes . 
they do , however , inexplicably throw in a scene where ice-t whistles "" jingle bells "" after killing people , for whatever that's worth . 
this film was originally titled below utopia . 
perhaps they should have renamed it hell . 
avoid this clunker . 
"
"-1","well lets see . . . i'm 
not quite sure how to review this film , based on its laughter factor . 
well yeah i can , it's not funny . 
ok so i laughed one time which warranted the 1/2 star , but other than that i sat in my seat wondering when this pos would be over , ( which at a running time of 107 minutes seemed like forever ! ) . 
in fact , this could be the un-funniest movie i've seen in a long time , if not the un-funniest . 
let me be the first to say "" ready to rumble "" is a huge disappointment . 
long time wrestling lovers ( david and scott ) dream of making it to the wcw , and watching jimmy king wrestle . 
that is their hero of course , whom is kicked out of the wcw . 
well here is where the plot thickens ( lol ) : the two wish to rescue the king , and put him back into the wcw but not that easily , because they are being tampered with by many people who are out to get them , while david's father wants him to become a police officer , and scott is a loser who has to with the help of david clean out johnny on the spots . 
what a plot eh ? 
 "" ready to rumble "" is one of those films that tries to be funny , but sadly fails miserably , everything in the film is imcomprehinsable , and even the trailer wasn't funny . 
the actors are dull , the script awful , and the plot which there isn't much of . . . . really 
annoying . 
i'm not quite sure how great actors like these , and very funny actors too , are given such a lame script , and directed in such a childish manner , that i wonder if hollywood is ever gonna make good films these days . 
this review isn't going to be very long because of the fact that there isn't much going for the film , if anything at all . 
only one big laugh is in the film , which isn't all that hilarious . 
i sat in my chair wondering with this 107 ( ! ! ! ! ! ) 
minute "" comedy "" was going to be over , and sadly it went on forever . 
i'm not sure if anything could have saved this film from being such a total waste , but believe me you , it is . 
reviewed by brandon herring 4/29/00 for more reviews please visit movie review central at http : //www . geocities . com/moviefan983/moviereviewcentral . html 
"
"-1","14 years ago , national lampoon introduced us to a new family - the griswolds . 
in 1983 , the griswolds embarked on a cross-country journey with the destination of wally world , a world-renowned theme park in california . 
we laughed our heads off as we shared the wild and crazy mishaps the family endured . 
two years later , we watched again as they went to europe , and four years after that , we shared christmas with them . 
now , eight more years have passed , and the laughs have done more than die . 
they've been cremated . 
vegas vacation brings back chevy chase as clark griswold , the good intentioned but ill-fated father of two . 
the premise is basically the same . 
clark has a wonderful idea to take his family on a bonding vacation , this time to las vegas . 
his wife ellen ( beverly d'angelo ) and teenage kids rusty and audrey ( always played by different actors - this time around , by ethan embry and marisol nichols , respectively ) join him and they soon find themselves in sin city where casinos will make the backdrop for ninety minutes of slapstick . 
of course a "" vacation "" movie wouldn't be complete without good ole eddie ( reprised by randy quaid ) , the misfit cousin , showing up at all the wrong times . 
there isn't too much of a plot here when it comes right down to it . 
it's really just a skit movie . 
there are a couple of ways to define a skit movie , which is not a real term as far as i know . 
the first would be a movie that basically has one running gag for two hours , therefore coming off like a two hour skit . 
the second would be a movie that seems comprised of about twenty shorter skits , each lasting about five minutes . 
vegas vacation comes off like the first . 
a good example of the latter would be last year's black sheep . 
the problem with this format is that it becomes old fast , and it doesn't really fit into a movie mold . 
in these cases , a "" plot "" , which is generally very thin , is used either as a shameless filler between scenes or to simply add convenience to the gags ( i . e . 
have a good vegas joke , make a vegas movie ) . 
such is the case with this movie's mini-plots . 
clark gets gambling fever and begins spending all of the griswold's money , ellen is on the verge of an affair with wayne newton ( ! ) , rusty has a fake id and is using it to his gambling advantage , and audrey is desperate for fun and winds up joining her cousin vickie ( shae d'lyn ) as an exotic dancer . 
the simple fact is : this movie isn't funny . 
at first , i did find myself chuckling heartily at a couple of little jokes , but when the movie got rolling , my interest suddenly stopped . 
chase plays clark griswold really well . 
he made the character and he is the character . 
d'angelo , to be quite honest , never was too impressive as ellen , and this movie doesn't show any signs of redemption . 
as for the two new griswold kids , the word "" blah "" comes to mind . 
the "" vacation "" series seems out to prove that anybody can play these two characters , the simple reason being that there is nothing to them . 
they're so generic , you'll expect the credits to read "" girl #1 as audrey griswold "" . 
vegas vacation differs from the first three in the series by more than just laugh factor . 
yes , it's true that vegas vacation isn't even close to being close to being as funny as the others , which were actually pretty fun in their own doofy ways , but there are a couple of other things that set this one negatively apart . 
first off , why did they leave off the national lampoon's heading on the title ? 
i couldn't find any reasons why , but maybe the fact is even national lampoon didn't want to be associated with such a lame film . 
that's saying a lot , especially when you look at what else the company has proudly presented : loaded weapon 1 , pcu , etc . if they expected this to be another hit , you would assume they'd be proud to tack on the notorious header , but for reasons only we can guess at , like the movie sucking , they didn't . 
there is another difference here that makes an obvious impact . 
the first three films in the "" vacation "" series were written by john hughes , a talented writer who is behind several popular films of the 80's including mr . 
mom , sixteen candles , the breakfast club , weird science , pretty in pink , ferris bueller's day off , planes , trains , and automobiles , and uncle buck . 
wowzers ! 
what a r ? sum ? ! 
looking at the names , you'd think this guy wrote everything that now stands as a movie icon for the 1980's . 
well that's not all . 
this guy also brought us 90's hits including the home alone series , the remake of 101 dalmatians , dennis the menace , and the current flubber . 
vegas vacation , however , didn't have john hughes behind it , and the loss is very obvious . 
this time around , the script is in the hands of elisa bell , whose only credits thus far include four made-for-tv movies . 
vegas vacation plays very much like one , and it would actually work much better as a made-for-tv sequel . 
if this sounds like a wild idea , it's not . 
revenge of the nerds third and fourth installments were both television movies , and they seemed like it . 
vegas vacation would fit in well on the fox network as a 2 : 00 a . m . 
sunday morning movie , but as a silver screen major motion picture , it's quite out of place . 
stephen kessler's jejune direction doesn't help things either . 
he only makes the film even more tv-movie-ish . 
each consecutive "" vacation "" movie has suffered a drop in directing power . 
we started the series off with harold ramis , who also directed caddyshack and groundhog day as well as co-writing ghostbusters . 
not too bad . 
then we had national lampoon's european vacation being directed by amy heckerling , who would go on to direct the hits look who's talking and clueless , as well as having already directed the infamous fast times at ridgemont high . 
lastly we had national lampoon's christmas vacation , directed by jeremiah s . chechik , who went on to direct the charming benny & joon . 
kessler , so far , has one title under his belt , the short film birch street gym , which received an oscar nomination in 1992 . 
granted that this was his first attempt at a feature length film , we can allow for some amateurish quality , but instead we get a movie straight from the text book - boring , bland , and deeply unoriginal . 
if you loved the "" vacation "" movies , and i know * some * of us did , there still isn't anything here worth seeing . 
if you loved them , don't ruin your good impressions of the series by indulging in this tragic example of cinema ala carte . 
if you never did like the series , why the need to confirm why ? 
"
"-1","plunkett & macleane marks the directing debut of jake scott , brother of ridley and tony . 
naturally , this got me worried . 
would jake's talent be inherited from ridley or tony ? 
if it was from ridley , than the movie would be a thoughtful suspensor with action thrown in . 
if it was from tony , it would be wham bang drivel . 
unfortunately , the latter is true for this worthless picture with little charm . 
carlyle and miller are the titular highwaymen , plunkett ( carlyle ) who is poor and unruly , and captain james macleane ( miller ) a clean cut gentleman . 
as the tagline clearly wants to make known , they rob the rich and nothing else . 
the film basically follows the rowdy hold ups the two stage , along with romantic interludes with lady rebecca ( tyler . ) 
hot on both their tails is mr chance ( ken stott ) who wants to see them both dead . 
plunkett & macleane is an annoying little film that serves little purpose . 
although undoubtedly slick and fast paced , there's very little merit contained in the film . 
carlyle and miller are fun enough as the foul mouthed pair , although their characters are criminally undeveloped . 
it appears that much of the money has been spent on the expensive looking sets and costumes , but not on the script . 
the five ( ! ) screenwriters ( three credited ) have produced an still born movie : there's very little development in the story . 
also , major events , such as mr . cash finding out who plunkett and macleane really are , are so rushed that they barely happened . 
the story is a bit of a mess , frankly . 
the performances aren't bad : carlyle and miller are typical lads , but liv tyler is a huge disappointment as the love interest . 
her irritable , stilted performance sticks out like a sore thumb , and i was quite unsure on what accent she was trying to put on . 
she looks nice , though . 
more interesting is alan cummings as the campy lord rochester , and although his character amounts to nothing more than a two dimensional comedy gay character , he hams it up well . 
ken stott is suitably evil as chance , but again he is nothing but a flat character . 
i didn't particularly care when the predictable death sequence arrived . 
although a disappointment in writing , and a minor success in acting , the film certainly look lavish , with good costumes , and wonderful sets . 
but production design alone can't save a movie , especially a movie as bad as this mess . 
jake scott would be more suited to directing a music video rather than this failed update of a period drama : the only update seems to be the fact that everyone must talk dirty , with 'f * ck this' and 'stand and f * cking deliver' splattered all over the place . 
the mtv editing and direction are flash enough , but in the end decidedly empty . 
plunkett & macleane is a massive disappointment . 
although somewhat enjoyable during parts , it's so light it could float off the screen if it wasn't just images on a reel . 
there's no thought , no development , no plot , just a series of manic edits and quirky camera angles to make this film appeal to gen-xers . 
although it's a great idea : update a period drama to the mtv generation : it's execution is awful , and would more likely bore than excite . 
sloppy and occasionally off puttingly tasteless , it's hard to recommend plunkett & macleane as a movie , but easy to recommend it as a overlong music video . 
give it a miss . 
"
"-1","capsule : silly and inane adaptation of gibson's short story , which is nowhere in sight . 
gibson's script only adds insult to injury . 
johnny mnemonic is an awesomely bad movie . 
i say "" awesomely "" because it's one thing to fail , but another thing entirely to fail so completely that even the chances for camp value are sabotaged . 
keanur reeves ( who is terrible ) stars as johnny , an "" information courier "" who can carry dozens of gigabytes of data in his head . 
he is given "" one last job "" ( whenever you are in a movie and you hear those words , run ) , which involves him shoving so much data into his cranium that it could be lethal . 
one of the neater touches that the movie brings in is that the only way he could make such an arrangement work was by ditching all of his childhood memories , but it's only followed up on in a token fashion . 
for his trouble , johnny gets chased by the yakuza , who seem to be the new bad guys in all the high-tech thrillers . 
what's funny is that if you watch gangster movies made * in * japan , there are whole gobs of details about genuine yakuza behavior and ethics , but of course there's no room in this movie for any of that . 
the yakuza are simply used to point guns , wave swords , flaunt tattoos , and grimace menacingly . 
 ( i could go on about how gangsters and criminals of many other ethnicities have gotten thoughtful examinations in the movies -- bound by honor , sugar hill and american me come to mind -- when asians remain perpetually stereotyped . 
but that's another essay . ) 
anyway , johnny runs and eventually winds up in newark . 
why newark ? 
maybe because it was cheaper to fake a future newark than a future new york , that's why . 
there , he meets an assortment of odd characters ( ice-t , dolph lundgren and henry rollins play a whole gallery of weirdos ) . 
the script deals with them with all the depth of pieces of furniture . 
it turns out ( what else ? ) that the data in johnny's head could save a lot of people , but of course johnny only wants it out of his head so it doesn't kill him . 
handled right , this could have been absorbing , but the script manages to mangle any chance of real sympathy for johnny at every opportunity . 
the details about the look and feel of the future are all phoned in from other , better movies -- blade runner and brazil come to mind . 
everything looks run-down and scummy , everyone dresses like they're punk rockers , and videophones are commonplace . 
snore . 
the only really interesting flourish is an extended depiction of the way the internet might work in the future ( complete with vr goggles and feedback gloves ) , but i kept thinking that it was more like what some relatively un-technical fellow would * think * it would look and behave like . 
a hacker of johnny's caliber would be blasting away with one command-line function after another , instead of wasting all this time twiddling with holograms , but of course that's not cinematic . 
whatever . 
what went wrong with this movie ? 
gibson wrote his own screenplay , which i guess is part of the problem : what works as a short story doesn't work in a movie . 
his ear for dialogue is terrible and the plot doesn't advance , it convulses . 
from the script on out , it was probably all downhill . 
renting the movie to make fun of it is sort of pointless ; there's no fun in kicking a wounded dog , is there ? 
"
"-1","i didn't hate the big hit , even though it is a stupefyingly terrible film . 
for the entirety of its running time , my eyes were attached to the screen , and i never once got bored . 
i found the film interesting because of its unique awfulness : this is such a confused disaster of a film that it's entertaining to watch it in the same way that it's entertaining to witness a thirty car pileup on a freeway spaghetti bowl . 
as a narrative , the big hit is pure garbage , never truly deciding its genre and constantly crossing all kinds of boundaries . 
it reminded me a lot of grosse pointe blank , which is a similar film that fails in a lot of the same ways . 
it's fine to mix genres , if the film makers know what they're doing . 
unfortunately , writer ben ramsey and director kirk wong don't seem to know how to handle the material , and the result is an action film that wants to be a comedy . 
the biggest problem with the amalgamation , in this case , is that the film is absurd and the comedy is out of place . 
but it sure is a fascinating failure . 
marky . 
 . 
 . 
er , mark wahlberg stars as melvin surley , a hitman . 
he's a good hitman , apparently , although his tactics seem a bit rambunctious ( he doesn't snipe or make clean kills--he just kicks the door down and shoots everything ) . 
he works with a few other hitmen--cisco ( lou diamond phillips ) , crunch ( bokeem woodbine ) , and vinnie ( antonio sabbato , jr . ) . 
they're a nice bunch of muscular guys , who stand around in the locker room after working out and compare masturbation to sex . 
they all work for a man named paris ( avery brooks ) , who is rich , powerful , and in constant need of four sloppy hitmen . 
it is very important that they never go beyond their boss and do work on their own ; this , of course , is where the plot comes in . 
they decide to kidnap a young japanese girl named keiko ( china chow ) , who has a rich father . 
when they do this , it turns out she is paris' . 
 . 
 . 
goddaughter ! 
it's very bad to have paris against you . 
the story is standard action film stuff . 
it's nothing new , and nothing particularly offensive ( but certainly not the slightest bit compelling ) . 
clearly the major selling point of the big hit is that it's a john woo-type of action film mixed in with some really hip comedy . 
it's true that a lot of the action sequences resemble recent films that go for the same idea ( such as face/off and the replacement killers , which are both far superior ) . 
there are stunts that are fun to watch : the opening sequence has melvin and two of his partners going in to kill some guy who has nothing to do with the story . 
they use night vision goggles and really powerful handguns . 
melvin is also very good at breakdancing , and uses this talent to avoid bullets and knives . 
like i said , it's not boring ; most disasters aren't . 
what makes it so bad is its genre-shifting madness . 
it seems to start out as a quirky-but-realistic action comedy , as melvin is seen transporting bags of human remains . 
then , as soon as they go to their first hit , it turns into a music video with bodies and bullets flying everywhere . 
then , somewhere in between , it turns back into comedy . 
keiko turns out to be a spunky little girl ; in one amusing scene , she is forced to read a letter out loud , indicating that she has been kidnapped , but the letter is littered with grammatical errors that skew the meaning of the words . 
and scenes like this work alone , but wong applies this goofy tone to scenes that should be more serious , or not be in the film at all . 
one of the most irritating moments has paris ordering cisco to come up to his office after he learns that keiko has been kidnapped ; when cisco gets there , paris and his men are standing around as if they knew cisco did it , but they let him out of there , telling him to find the perpetrator . 
the scene is played for laughs , but it isn't funny . 
and since it doesn't quite work as a comedy , it tries to fall back on the action , which also fails . 
this is a film where people fly fifteen feet backwards when shot with a handgun . 
cars land on tree branches and are supported by them . 
characters betray each other without a second thought . 
grenades are thrown in tight places . 
people jump out of tall buildings and survive . 
people outrun tumbling cars , and get out of the way of falling objects in small fractions of seconds . 
most frustrating of all , though , is the film's definition of a hit man : these guys are anything but subtle , quiet , and skilled individuals . 
they're more like socially depraved militia men ( melvin has an extensive collection of firearms in his garage , including missile launchers and hand-held machineguns ) . 
the characters each have one trait that distinguishes them from the rest ; this obviously doesn't make for deep or interesting people to watch . 
the acting is kind of fun , though--wahlberg is a good actor , and his innocuous presence in this film is charming in a silly sort of way . 
phillips certainly has fun with his psychotic character , while christina applegate , who plays melvin's fianc ? e , is convincingly air-headed . 
the big hit is an action film that unknowingly spoofs itself in trying to be funny . 
the funniest parts are supplied by the actors , and not by the numerous failed attempts at sight gags and one-liners . 
it's a true disaster , one that makes me believe that the goofy and unrealistic tone is completely unintentional . 
despite all this , though , i must reiterate the entertainment value here . 
you can cherish the awfulness of a film like this . 
if you embrace the big hit for the catastrophe that it is , you just might enjoy yourself . 
"
"-1","when the film features richard lynch in the role of chief villain , you know that you can expect nothing more than a b grade action movie . 
however , since this film also featured michael madsen , more than capable character actor , this time in the role of protagonist , the author of this review decided to give the film some benefit of the doubt . 
however , the very first scenes show clear b grade action credentials - madsen plays richard montana , tough policeman who raids a drug warehouse and make life miserable for local crime lord mario gio ( played by lynch ) . 
however , the raid was only partially successful , and montana is getting the rap . 
so , he begins his own private war against gio , trying to penetrate his organisation pretending to be corrupt . 
in the process , he meets gio's mistress gina zamora ( played by rosie vela ) and starts relationship with her too . 
although it doesn't stink like many of the similar films can , inside edge is mostly forgettable b grade action routine . 
nobody in this film actually puts much effort , including madsen or lynch , and this is especially case with uninspired screenwriter william tannen or director warren clarke . 
the only not so forgettable element in this film is presence of former supermodel rosie vela , who , apart from showing her more than impressive looks , shows some of the singing talent too . 
however , this isn't reason enough for viewers to spend hour and half watching a film that they would , in most likelihood , forget the next day . 
"
"-1","what are the warning signs of a * terrible * movie ? 
making it's debut at the dollar theater ? 
locally , chairman of the board did just that . 
having the annoying prop comic scott thompson ( better known as carrot top ) in the lead role ? 
chairman of the board , once again . 
how about an overly exhausted , paper thin plot approached with utter incompetence ? 
did somebody say chairman of the board ? 
that's right , carrot top's long dreaded major motion picture debut ( at least for a starring role ) is poking up in a handful of theaters across the country . 
chairman of the board stars the obnoxious , wannabe-zany king of redheaded standup comics as a lazy but creative , inventive but uneventful generation x- er named edison . 
living with a pair of surfer dudes in a small , rented house , edison bounces from job to job , always squandering away the money on his eccentric ( to say the least ) inventions and ignoring crucial responsibilities such as rent . 
this has the crabby landlady , ms . krubavitch ( estelle harris , best known as george constanza's mother on "" seinfeld "" ) , threatening an eviction if past due expenses aren't furnished post haste . 
as luck would have it , edison soon meets armand mcmillan ( jack warden ) , an old surfer dude who just so happens to be president of the multi-million dollar mcmillan industries . 
sharing a passion for more than just riding waves , armand is deeply impacted by the young inventor's notebook of dreams and ideas , and when the old man dies soon afterward , edison learns he is named a benefactor in armand's will . 
predictably , edison acquires the entire corporation and has to maintain productivity with absolutely no knowledge of the business world . 
predictably , there is a bitter nephew ( larry miller ) whose lesser inheritance fuels resentment that will lead to an elaborate sabotage plot . 
predictably , there is an attractive employee ( courtney thorne-smith ) whose initial repulsion will transform into love for our doofy protagonist . 
predictably , the man who knows nothing will fight against the odds and give the company it's most profitable and successful turnaround ever , all because he ran things by common sense and not greed . 
it's as though writers turi meyer , al septien , and alex zamm ( meyer and septien also wrote leprechaun 2 together ! ) 
pulled a plot out of a hat and worked carrot top into it . 
the jokes , the "" surprises "" , the developments - all of them run such a predictable path , it may only be carrot top's signature brazen red hairdo that sets this one apart from the myriad of similar films . 
a movie this bad speaks for itself . 
what's left to say when every element the movie possesses is a shameful retread of movies past ? 
the script is 100% recycled , the direction is hokey , and the acting is absolutely horrible . 
it is only thorne-smith who seems to take her job seriously , an accomplishment which surely deserves the medal of honor . 
she certainly went beyond the call of duty - she has to kiss carrot top ! ! ! ! ! ! 
 ( barf bag , please ! ) 
movies like this give the audience nothing to do but ponder just how many synonyms for "" bad "" there really are . 
chairman of the board , without a doubt , deserves each and every one . 
the only way this won't end up on everybody's "" bottom ten of the year "" list , is if they were lucky enough never to have seen it . 
just because you can't miss his outlandish fiery mane , don't skimp on avoiding this abhorrent feature . 
"
"-1","you don't look at a ren ? magritte painting and search for a deeper meaning . 
you likewise don't look at one for 88 minutes straight . 
surrealist works are notable for their quirks , and they are fun , but looking at one quirk for an hour and a half is exhausting . 
that was my experience with i woke up early the day i died , a surrealistic , hyperactive comedy with no dialogue . 
it's not a silent movie ; there is lots of atmospheric music , occasional screams and weird sound effects , but nobody ever utters an audible word . 
though the film is distinctive , its unique style wore thin after about 20 minutes , and as it progressed , watching became a chore . 
the only reason the script ever got filmed is because it was written by the pseudo-legendary ed wood , the man behind such "" classics "" as plan 9 >from outer space and night of the ghouls . 
the joke , of course , is that his films are so bad , they're good ; so humorous in their inanity that they become hits . 
i woke up early the day i died , unfortunatly , is so bad that it's really bad . 
it stars billy zane ( titanic ) as a dangerous lunatic who overpowers a nurse , escapes from a mental hospital and proceeds to wonder around , stealing a car , clothes , and a load of money . 
our thief reaches a cemetery , where he witnesses a bizarre ritual . 
he falls asleep and finds himself , literally , in a hole , with his money gone . 
for whatever reason , he is bent on getting his hard-unearned cash back ( considering how easily he stole it the first time , why didn't he just go steal some more ? ) . 
he comes upon a list of the people who were at the mysterious ceremony and commences to seek out each of them and kill them if they don't have what he is looking for . 
i don't think either director aris iliopulos nor ed wood realized that this would have made a glorious 20 minute short . 
the subject and the style seem to have been made for it . 
unfortunately , twenty minutes worth of material is stretched out to more than four times that length , and the film simply overstays its already dubious welcome . 
it grabbed my attention in the beginning and gradually lost it as it went on , up to the point where halfway through i was already weary . 
it might seem odd that a film as furiously paced as this one can be so tedious ; but the surprise will wear off when you consider how repetitive it is . 
i woke up early the day i died is a comedy , i guess , though it could have fooled me . 
unlike most ed wood films , this one tries to be funny and fails , instead of the other way around . 
there's nothing inherently wrong with that , in fact , i think it would only make sense for someone who has been so "" good "" at making unintentional comedies to take a stab at a real one . 
whether wood actually went for comedy in his script we'll never know , but in either case , this is a failure . 
jonathan taylor thomas , christina ricci , summer phoenix , john ritter and others show up for short and pointless cameos . 
ricci , for example , plays a prostitute . 
her role consists of dancing around with zane in his motel room and then being thrown out . 
thomas is an astonished onlooker as a woman gets thrown off a cliff . 
was the home improvement teen heartthrob really that desperate for work ? 
zane , meanwhile , occupies himself by making weird faces at the camera when he is not called upon to run around wildly and beat people up . 
lack of dialogue makes him the ultimate caricature . 
the carnival side-show climax manages to demonstrate everything that is wrong with this no-budget production . 
it's desperately unfunny , but thinks it's the funniest thing since plan 9 ; , it's so spontaneously surrealistic it makes your head spin all while being confusing enough to make your head spin twice as fast in the other direction . 
i hope another film is made from an ed wood screenplay for i woke up early the day i died is not a fitting send-off . 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov &#137 ; 
"
"-1","well , as i check my score card for what i've done this holiday weekend , it reads good ideas : 0 and dumb ideas : 1 . 
i don't know what i was thinking when i decided to watch this movie . 
but in my defense , i can only say that it was someone else who urged me to see this with him . 
the film that i'm talking about is `a night at the roxbury , ' one of those offerings based on a saturday night live skit . 
wayne and garth , these two are not . 
rather , we meet doug and steve butabi ( the actors' names are not worth mentioning ) , two eternal partyers whose greatest ambitions in life seem to be finding a way to get into the hottest night club in the city , the roxbury . 
driving in their dad's bmw and donning metallic disco suits right out of miami vice , they try to bribe the bouncer to get into the club . 
`have you met my friend washington and his friend roosevelt , ' they confidently say as they pull out spare pocket change . 
their second greatest ambition seems to be oozing out as many silly pick-up lines as is humanly possible in order to start a conversation with a girl ( `let me see that label . 
just as i thought - made in heaven , ' says one of the brothers ) . 
and , like the losers that they are , they fail to do either for much of the film . 
however , as fate would have it , an accidental meeting with `what-ever-happened-to' richard grieco gives them the all-important ticket to get in . 
their sad lives take on a whole new direction . 
they make an important contact with the club owner who believes that these two brothers have uncanny insight into the club scene . 
and they are mistaken as rich swingers by two voluptuous young women . 
but their newfound popularity does not impress their father , who has other plans for them . 
the unfortunate thing about this film is that this is a one-joke movie , and the brothers are the joke . 
actually , there's about 10 mintues worth of tolerable stuff . 
alas , too long for tv and way too short for a feature-length film . 
thus , there just isn't enough material to sustain the 83-minute movie . 
there's no plot to be found and everything that these two do seem to culminate in an opportunity to execute their trademark move of snapping their heads in unison to the funky beat of haddaway's europop song , what is love . 
i was amazed that none of the two suffered from whiplash . 
to take up more film time , there is a subplot involving the daughter of the businessman next door who wants to marry doug . 
this creates not only friction between the brothers , but their unlikely pairing will also agitate audience members as well . 
she's educated and a forebearing witch . 
meanwhile , doug is a complete loser . 
how did these two ever get together ? 
i suppose that if i can ever figure out the answer to that question , i'll have figured out why i decided to go and see this movie . 
if you're looking for entertainment , you won't find it at the roxbury . 
"
"-1","terrence malick made an excellent 90 minute film adaptation of james jones' world war ii novel . 
unfortunately , he buried it within an overlong and overreaching 3-hour long pseudo-epic . 
this is a shame because the film features an outstanding performance by nick nolte . 
the best scene is when nick nolte's character , lt . col . tall , is forced to deal with the direct refusal by capt . staros ( elias koteas ) to execute an order . 
nolte's reaction and transformation may be the best work of his career . 
had terrence malick concentrated on the great performances of nolte and koteas as well as those by sean penn , woody harrelson , and john cusack , he could have made a truly great film . 
instead , malick saddled the film with plodding pacing , unnecessary flashbacks , and a voice-over narration all designed to telegraph the great philosophical underpinnings of the story . 
the narration was especially annoying as much of it sounded like very bad high school poetry . 
with a lot of editing , the core story could be transformed into a truly classic war film . 
hopefully , the dvd version of this film will feature options to suppress the narration , and perhaps will even provide for an alternate , shorter version of the film . 
i give this film . 
"
"-1","i cried during _babe_ . 
i admit it . 
the special effects , the story , the great dialogue were woven together so delicately and successfully that my mind lost track that this was a "" children's film "" --so much so that , yes , i got a little overly sentimental . 
such , my friend , is the power of cinema . 
when word came out that they were using this newly developed f/x for a doctor dolittle update , in which eddie murphy plays the title character , and many great comic actors supply the voices , my anticipation rose to great expectations . 
they can't possibly drop the ball on this one . 
can't miss . 
can't possibly miss . 
they missed . 
what went wrong ? 
after much thought , i supply three general rules . 
 ( 1 ) don't let a television actress-turned-comedy movie director near an urbanite script ( i . e . , penny marshall's dreadful "" preacher's wife "" ) . 
betty thomas worked wonders with "" the brady bunch movie "" , but the same sitcom-airiness doesn't quite work here . 
it's as if she lifted a generic sitcom , and iced it with light doses of modern r&b . 
take away the black cast , take away the atrocious soundtrack , and you have the residue of some mid-80's kirk cameron show . 
 ( 2 ) the greater the cast , the less the individual cast-member has to do ( i . e . , 
 "" con air "" ) . 
it is great to have the comic voices of jenna elfman , garry schandling , john leguizimo , ellen degeneres , and gilbert godfried in your lineup , but they have nothing to do but improvise their underdeveloped , stereotyped characters , one-line-at-a-time . 
it's even worse , because sometimes their voices are so unrecognizable that you don't get the satisfaction of linking the voice to the comedian until the credits . 
now there are three character actors who do get special treatment : albert brooks brings dignity to nearly every project he's in , and the scenes as a depressed tiger do resonate a certain poignancy . 
norm mcdonald fares nearly as well , as a stray dog who learns to bond with dolittle . 
but there's little humor here . 
that rests on the shoulders of chris rock , sorely miscast and unfunny as the voice of their wise-ass guinea pig . 
even the mouth is ill-synched . 
 ( 3 ) don't let the special effects technicians walk away with the script . 
there's a certain timing that's mandatory in comedy . 
to have this timing usurped by the brilliancy of computer generated mouths or lifelike creations of jim henson's creature shop , is a travesty . 
this is not to say that special effects filled comedies or muppet movies aren't well-timed laughfests ; with the right director , they can be and have . 
here , betty thomas is clearly over her head . 
i wish i could commend the special effects , but they're merely average . 
count the number of times where the animal's mouth is turned away from the camera , or too far to notice , or ill-synched . 
this is less a "" babe "" and more of a "" look who's barking "" clone . 
you may be wondering , 'how does eddie murphy fare ? ' 
well , he came back with the exceptional "" nutty professor "" , and i don't doubt he can come back again . 
here , he's tied into a straight man and given little to do . 
the exceptions are when he fears he's going crazy : a far cry from his smarter-than-you'd expect routine that he's more adept at . 
it's unfortunate that he is where richard pryor was ten years ago , making lame comedies without the same bite he had given in his early years . 
after all this , what's left ? 
butt jokes . 
a _lot_ of butt jokes . 
i guess for kids that may be funny , but i was stone-faced . 
if there's a lesson the film may be telling us , is that animals have feelings too , and they care way too much for your butt . 
"
"-1","saw an advanced screening of the movie sniper last night , and i have to say i wasn't too impressed . 
this film is about an expert marine sniper , played by tom berenger , who is teamed with a hot-shot-young-no-experience-never-killed-a-man new partner to take out some drug-kingpins and military strong men in panama . 
sound cliche ? 
that's only the beginning . 
billy zane ( memphis belle ) played the rookie , and never seemed to get a handle on his character . 
he was so contrary and pig-headed in the beginning , you just wanted to smack him . 
then he goes "" crazy "" from the pressure , but seems to immediately snap out of it . 
i'm not sure if the blame should lie with the directing , editing , scriptwriting , or acting . . . 
but it didn't all come together . 
i think berenger is a pretty good actor , and he looked great in the part , covered in camo , face painted , stalking through the jungle with his high-power rifle . . . 
but once again , his character was given some pretty bad dialogue , and didn't react too logically to many of the situations . 
there was very little logical development in these characters . 
my biggest problem with this film was it's tendency to put these two snipers in as * many * inches-from-death situations as possible . 
they began to resemble g . i . joes , the greatest american hero . 
and of course their almost supernatural accuracy with their guns was called upon to get them out of far too many close calls . 
now a lot of movies are stamped out of this mold , in fact that's what made die hard so much fun : the super-hero avenger type . 
so some will enjoy the action hero heroics , but i didn't think it fit with the nice tension that was built up in the earlier scenes , and the "" real life "" feel of covert operations in panama . 
a word must be said on the camera work , much of it was very nice . 
the jungles of panama ( or their stand-ins in this case ) formed a very picturesque background . . . 
and the drama of speeding bullets was captured using some nice trick photography . 
many have seen the slowed down "" bullet-cam "" following the projectile to its target . 
this was used well in the beginning to show the feverish nightmares berenger gets when remembering the moment of the kill . 
it was dramatic when used in flashback . . . but 
it seems the director liked the technique so much he started inserting these shots ( pardon the pun ) into the real time action . . . then 
it just seemed silly . 
all in all , not a real dog : there is some nice action , good atmosphere , and pretty photography . 
but the plot is pretty lame , the acting didn't form a cohesive whole , and far too much thisclosefromdeath heroics . 
"
"-1","an 18-foot-high , 43-foot-long dragon is the computer-generated co- star of this strictly-by-the-numbers sword 'n' sorcery flick . 
as voiced by sean connery , "" draco "" is a surprisingly expressive creation who is well-deserving of his 23 minutes of screen time . 
he walks , talks , flies , fries , and even fakes his own death , all with the help of 96 computer-aided animators . 
too bad that ilm ( industrial light and magic ) couldn't spare some special effects for dragonheart's * human * co-stars . 
a bearded black hole exists where dennis quaid should be . 
he's a near-total loss as he growls glumly through his role of a disillusioned knight . 
david thewlis' evil king has a high hiss factor ( hf ) , though he's more of a mumbling oddity than anything else . 
oh , and there's some redhead in a '90's wig , who runs around either screaming or scowling , depending upon if the particular scene has her playing the woman in peril or the put upon peasant . 
the fringe flourishes include pete postlethwaite as a wandering monk with literary ambitions , julie christie ( ! ) as the good queen mother , a band of mercenaries that appear dressed for ye olde heavy-metal concert , and , believe or it not , the speaking spirit of king arthur . 
bring out your dead ! 
unfortunately , when we add it all together ( draco + fringe bits - quaid - thewlis ) , the sum total amounts to zero . 
dragonheart is , well , too much of too little . 
director rob cohen ( dragon : the bruce lee story ) has made a big , expensive movie that , while ambitiously plotted , is both murky and predictable . 
and overscored . 
and self-important . 
and the list goes on . 
 ( i must ask : did screenwriter charles edward pogue intend that * every * character be stabbed , lanced , or sliced at least once ? 
keep that man away from the knife drawer ! ) 
the last five minutes of this movie are the worst , with some silly celestial nonsense that would be laughed out of any planetarium light show , much less a summer movie . 
save your money . 
"
"-1","1989's "" major league "" was a delightful surprise . 
i didn't expect much of it when i decided to watch it on cable , but it proved to be fresh and funny . 
however , when the appeal of a movie is its freshness , the sequels are virtually guaranteed to be stale . 
that's certainly true of "" major league ii "" and the most recent entry , "" major league : back to the minors . "" 
the title is , of course , a contradiction . 
shouldn't it be "" minor league ? "" 
that contradiction suggests the lengths to which writer/director john warren has gone to squeeze a third movie out of the formula established by the first movie . 
original stars charlie sheen and tom berenger ( who returned for "" major league ii "" ) are not around , leaving corbin bernsen the only original headliner to make the third movie . 
the other veterans who return ( dennis haysbert as voodoo-inspired batter cerrano and takaaki ishibashi as tanaka , who was introduced in "" league ii "" ) seem to be around just to lend legitimacy to the enterprise . 
the only returning cast member who produces any laughs is bob uecker as radio announcer harry doyle , inexplicably broadcasting the games of a minor league team far from his home turf . 
the protagonist this time around is retiring pitcher gus cantrell ( scott bakula ) , who is hired by minnesota twins owner roger dorn ( bernsen ) to manage the twins' aaa team , the buzz . 
you can write the movie from here : he finds a group of misfits who need to learn how to play together as a team in order to win . 
there's a future superstar whose ego keeps him from growing ( walton goggins ) , an ex-ballet dancer ( kenneth johnson ) , a broken-down old timer ( thom barry ) , twin outfielders both named juan ( the difilippo triplets ) , and a couple pitchers with throwing problems ( judson mills and peter mackenzie ) . 
along the way , gus picks up cerrano and tanaka ( gus is supposedly an old teammate of theirs , even though he wasn't in either of the preceding films ) . 
sum total : none . 
the entire enterprise is artificial , and the cast is not ready for the hollywood majors . 
gus' antagonist is twins manager leonard huff ( ted mcginley ) . 
leonard is a slimy , sniveling little egotist , and the twins are lazy , spoiled , and full of themselves . 
 ( even watching the first movie i wondered why any real-life team would lend itself to being caricatured in this manner ) . 
gus challenges leonard to a match , the buzz vs . the twins . 
 ( wanna guess who wins ? ) 
 "" back to the minors "" is a movie that has no reason to exist . 
there's hardly a laugh in it , the cast is weak , and the first movie left no room for even one sequel . 
"
"-1"," * * * the following review contains some harsh language . . . 
but what did you expect when you clicked on this title ? 
 * * * 
cast : kristen holly smith , danica sheridan , alex boling , michael dotson , sonya hensley , janet krajeski , sabrina lu , dionysius burbano , calvin grant , jeff b . harmon written and directed by : jeff b . harmon running time : 97 minutes 
 "" the thought of losing you makes me all vomity inside . "" 
--- blatz balinski ( danica sheridan ) laments the fact that her lesbian lover , april ( kristen holly smith ) , has just received a telegram from her ex-fiance . 
isle of lesbos is an incredibly offensive musical comedy about april pfferpot ( smith ) , a resident of the small town of bumfuck , arkansas who is about to get married to high school sweetheart and football hero dick dickson ( michael dotson ) . 
when april gets extreme cold feet she runs home , sticks a gun in her mouth , and pulls the trigger . 
instead of killing herself , she is magically transported through her mirror into the isle of lesbos , an alternate dimension where lesbians rule and no men are allowed ( except for lance , the homosexual toilet cleaner/slave ) . 
april loves her new home and friends , but dick and her parents are not so ready to give her up . 
mr . and ms . pfferpot ( director jeff b . harmon and janet krajeski ) decide they need medical help so they enlist the aid of dr . sigmoid colon ( also jeff b . harmon ) , who claims he can cure homosexuality . 
in actuality , dr . colon is homosexual as well and begins his special "" treatment "" on dick dickson ( unbeknownst to dick ) . 
when april turns down dick's demand for her to return to bumfuck , he decides to take matters in his own hands and attack the isle of lesbos rambo-style . 
instead of leveling the place he falls in love with lance ( alex boling ) and the two of them , along with april and her lover blatz , get married . 
 ( note to the filmmaker : why did the character of lance make asides to the camera followed by silence that i'm assuming was inserted for the purpose of waiting until the laughter of the audience had subsided ? ) 
april's parents , feeling like there is no recourse , call in a favor to president clinton and send a nuclear bomb ( whose circuitry inexplicably is made up of a homosexual performer ) their way . 
the bomb is a dud thanks to the work of the "" circuitry "" and they re-wire it and send it back to washington d . c . , destroying it . 
mr . and ms . pfferpot give up trying to get their daughter back and instead decide to join her as they have some alternative sexual practices of their own . 
i'm not sure if writer/director/co-star jeff b . harmon was purposely trying to offend people because he believes in some of the ideas his movie presents or if he was just going for cheap laughs . 
either way , he manages to present some of the most offensive material i have ever seen in a movie . 
the film opens with a preacher running a small african-american child out of town , and then later moves on to the hanging of a michael jackson impersonator by the ku klux klan ( during a jaunty musical number ) , preceded by remarks about "" gays and straights finally being able to put their differences behind them and work together to hate others , such as the jews "" . 
if harmon was merely trying to point out how idiotic society can be , then i apologize for being so harsh on elements of his film , but it is presented so mean spiritedly that i can't help but feel like he had some serious intent . 
as for the entire central theme of the movie , i'm afraid that it's one that i just don't get . 
i tried to keep an open mind while watching it , but the homosexual elements were just too prevalent for my tastes . 
it was hard enough to watch them bash other races and sexes without them preaching about the virtues of being homosexual and accepted by society . 
how does one expect to be accepted if they are just as guilty of non-acceptance ? 
i'm not prone to judging anyone and i believe that people should be free to explore whatever avenues they wish free from the scornful eye of society , but don't force your particular rhetoric down my throat if you aren't going to show the same respect for my preferences that you wish from me . 
again , maybe i'm missing the satirical point that harmon is trying to make , but if so , i think it could have been handled a little more tactfully . 
as far as musical comedies go , isle of lesbos is no trey parker and matt stone musical , but a good portion of the songs are maddeningly catchy . 
despite the disturbing visuals , "" mom and apple pie "" stuck with me for the rest of the day . 
speaking of disturbing visuals , "" wedding bells ain't ringing "" could have been a decent song , but the accompanying visuals of spousal abuse are more harrowing than this film should be displaying . 
 "" i'm a lesbian "" ( which is touted in the press release as being particularly popular ) is also pretty good , but a good portion of that could be due to the stellar singing voice of ms . smith . 
it's mainly on her excellent vocals that my rating of this film is based . 
the other performers are decent , save for the rosie o'donnell like performance given by danica sheridan . 
i have no inherent problem with her character ; it is just her singing voice that leaves little to be desired . 
one particular musical number , "" lesbian rock "" , was one of the lowest points i have ever experienced in my film-going life thanks to a strained and lackluster vocal job by sheridan . 
the film ends about twenty minutes before the credits actually roll . 
the remainder of the running time is padded out with a few more songs ( "" lesbian rock "" included ) and the ridiculously presented anti-nukes message tacked on to the end for no reason other than to make it a feature length film . 
once the "" isle of lesbos reprise "" was reached , i felt the story had already been wrapped up well enough to end it all . 
why was the film needlessly stretched out past its obvious end ? 
isle of lesbos is available on videocassette from www . indie-underground . com . 
the transfer is pretty clean ( and all the detail of the wrinkled cloth and paint backdrops are readily apparent ) and the film is letterboxed at approximately 1 . 85 : 1 . 
in many respects , isle of lesbos has incredible cult potential ( like a rocky horror for the new millennium ) . 
this film is by no means my cup of tea , but i know there are those out there who will enjoy it . 
if you think it might be for you , then by all means seek it out . 
i , on the other hand , will be cleansing my palette with a good action film like gladiator . . . 
wait . aren't gladiator films considered to be . . . 
oh , never mind . 
"
"-1","one of the indicator of badness in film is the hype being remembered more than film itself . 
such was the case with boxing helena , 1993 directorial debut of jennifer chambers lynch , daughter of the great david lynch . 
made in the dying years of post-twin peaks lynch craze among movie snobs , it was hyped as another , "" warped , twisted masterpiece "" of lynch clan . 
kim basinger also provided extra publicity by quitting the lead role and being sued for the breech of contract . 
but , the result was extremely disappointing film , which quickly sank into well-deserved oblivion . 
the movie protagonist is nick cavanaugh ( played by julian sands ) , talented surgeon who is getting obsessed by helena ( sherilyn fenn ) , beautiful woman who ditched him after brief affair . 
cavanaugh stalks her and uses every opportunity for the pathetic attempts to re-establish the relationship . 
during one of such occasions , helena is hit by a car , and nick quickly takes the role of her personal physician in order to have his way with her . 
after she wakes up , helena discovers not only that she is prisoner in cavanaugh's stylish residence , but also that cavanaugh amputated her legs in order to prevent her from escaping . 
she is still trying to escape , so cavanaugh takes off her arms . 
apart from casting sherilyn fenn ( audrey horne in twin peaks and small cameo in wild at heart ) and the use of twisted characters and their perverse fantasies , this film by ms . lynch hasn't got anything in common with the works of director's more talented father . 
despite rather bizarre subject , the style of this film is conventional and setting is light , characters are beautiful - but the result at the end is quite sterile and the film in the end looks too artificial for dark sexual fantasy it was supposed to portray . 
jennifer lynch obviously lacks talents in directing and it becomes painfully obvious in the scenes that are supposed to erotic - its banal artificiality is even bellow the standards of playboy videos . 
the actors aren't good either . 
julian sands is terribly miscast as emotionally disturbed man - this actors is best either when he plays charismatic protagonists or villains ; being neurotic doesn't suit him . 
bill paxton was better for this role , but his presence was wasted in forgettable and unnecessary subplot dealing with helena's boyfriend . 
sherilyn fenn contributed to this film mostly by her looks , but even the her greater effort in acting couldn't help this film . 
the screenplay , on the other hand , is awful , at least for someone who had made best-seller with laura palmer's diary - the events in this movie are implausible , characters come and go without purpose and many unnecessary subplots only slow down the film and add to the total confusion . 
one of those subplots involves character of cavanaugh's "" regular "" girlfriend , played by betsy clarke . 
the twist at the end , although unpredictable , is unbelievable and the viewers , who had the stomach to endure entire film , would feel cheated . 
all in all , boxing helena is disorganised quasi-artistic mess of a movie that should be remembered as nothing more than one of the wiser decisions in kim basinger's career . 
"
"-1","let's get this one over with as quickly as possible . 
if there was a possibility to receive a refund , this review would not be forthcoming . 
but as it is , "" godzilla "" is without a doubt the loudest , longest , and ultimately most amateurishly written film ever released through a major studio . 
producer dean devlin and director roland emmerich should be ashamed of themselves , and as penance be forced to return to film school to watch "" last year at merienbad "" until they can grasp the idea of content and plot . 
no amount of hype , no amount of money can hide the fact that these filmmakers are the 90s equivalent to william beaudine ( billy the kid vs . 
dracula ) . 
 "" godzilla "" opens with stock footage of the bikini atoll nuclear tests interspersed with footage of iguanas playfully swimming and nuzzling their eggs . 
we are then introduced to the crew of a japanese fish canning ship ( a questionable enterprise considering that tuna processing is supposed to be supervised to eliminate the netting of dolphins ) . 
well , the ship is attacked and sunk by an unseen creature . 
later , a group of frenchmen led by philippe roache ( jean reno ) interview the sole survivor . 
in a state of shock , the only thing the man can utter is the word "" gojira "" ( the japanese name of the famed beast ) . 
we are then introduced to dr . nick tatopoulos ( matthew broderick , with a moniker obviously taken from the effects designer of the film ) . 
he is currently studying the effects that the chernobyl disaster has had on the local earthworm population . 
he is immediately drafted by the u . s . military and taken to panama where he is shown the huge footprints of a creature . 
in a short amount of time , another fishing boat ( loaded with canned tuna from the u . s . and korea for some reason ) is found grounded in jamaica . 
well , it seems that whatever is eating these ships is headed for new york . 
when the beast finally appears , he tears up one building , stomps a couple of trucks and makes life hell for the incumbent mayor ebert ( thumbs up for new york ) . 
the military , with dr . tatopoulos's help , have two tons of fresh fish dumped in the middle of new york to lure the beast out of its hiding place in the new york subway system . 
it finally comes crashing through the city streets and has a cute face to face with dr . tatopoulos who snaps the beast's picture . 
the monster eats the fish , the military starts shooting , and the chase is on , with the army causing 90% of the ensuing damage . 
working from a hunch as to why godzilla has decided to come to the big apple , dr . totopoulos buys a few home pregnancy kits from a local drugstore that has chosen to remain open ( even though new york has been evacuated ) . 
well the test proves that the monster is a hermaphrodite and is pregnant . 
needless to say , no one believes the good doctor about his discovery , so he must join up with the renegade french secret service agents and find the monster's nesting site and destroy the eggs before the mayor starts letting the populous back into the city ( even though the monster isn't dead yet ) . 
i sincerely hope that i've completely spoiled any interest anyone might have of seeing this film . 
i gave away the relevant plot so that i could spare those of you courageous ( or foolish ) enough to drop down an hour's wage on this tripe . 
everything about "" godzilla "" reeks almost as bad as the piles of rotting fish used to trap the beast . 
the script ( and let's be clear here ) by devlin and emmerich is so full of plot holes and non characters as to be sure to be the recipient of next years "" razzie "" award . 
the dialogue between maria pitillo ( as audrey timmonds , dr . tatopoulos' estranged girlfriend ) and mr . broderick is so adolescent , it makes teenagers giggle in disbelief ( as happened during the screening i witnessed ) . 
the film could be enjoyably campy if it didn't take itself so damn seriously . 
but to what end , as there is no commentary on humanities foibles against nature , nor is there any reference about godzilla being some sort of retaliation against mankind . 
no . godzilla is just a big dummy that got knocked up by some french immigrants and decided to let the state of new york pay for it . 
the film is bleak and ugly looking . 
taking place at night during a rain storm , the movie has little or no depth . 
everything is ugly and dark . 
new york has never looked so inhospitable since "" death wish "" . 
in an attempt to give the film some color , audrey timmonds carries a bright red umbrella which is unique in that everyone else in the film carries the standard gray issue . 
the only moment of composition and color is during the brief scenes on jamaica , where dr . tatopoulos finds himself standing in a giant footprint . 
the scene is nicely photographed but poorly set up . 
you know from the outset that nick is standing in a footprint . 
for a scientist , this is very poor observation . 
let's look at some of the more interesting plot holes in the film ( this activity , is becoming almost as popular as the kevin bacon game ) : 
1 . ) why does the french nuclear tests only affect one clutch of iguana eggs , and how do those eggs fuse into one beast ? 
2 . ) why would a cold blooded creature choose a cold climate ( such as new york ) to nest ? 
i don't think iguana's have a habit of migrating . 
3 . ) how can godzilla crawl through the new york subway system , slice a submarine in half , yet be unable to extricate himself from some thin ( in comparison ) steel cable on the brooklyn bridge ? 
4 . ) the brooklyn bridge is the only suspension bridge in existence that does not need it's suspension cables . 
5 . ) did godzilla carry all two hundred eggs in her belly ? 
if so , then radioactive mutations surely are wondrous creatures . 
 ( note : each egg is 10 feet tall and almost as wide . 
godzilla would have to be over 1 , 000 feet tall to carry them all ) . 
6 . ) godzilla can crush ships and eat helicopters , but new york cabs are made of stronger steel . 
7 . ) godzilla can out maneuver helicopters , bullets , torpedoes and missiles , but can't catch you on foot . 
8 . ) taxis can out maneuver godzilla . 
9 . ) godzilla can burrow through the subway system but can't tear through the park avenue tunnel . 
10 . ) why was nothing else mutated by the nuclear test as quickly as godzilla ? 
maybe a giant hermit crab in the sequel . 
11 . ) galapagos iguana's actually live in the french polynesian islands ? 
12 . ) why was dr . tatopoulos brought in by the military if they were not going to listen to him anyway ? 
13 . ) how did they evacuate new york island in less than a day , and how did they convince those new yorkers to go to new jersey ? 
14 . ) new york television stations use vhs tape for both filming and broadcasting . 
new yorkers hate beta cam . 
i could go on and on , but that would only serve to make the film seem more enjoyable than it is . 
don't be fooled , this film has less gray matter than any episode of "" america's funniest home videos "" . 
the performances in the film are singularly bland . 
not one performance belays any awe or fear in the face of this two hundred foot tall terror . 
the characters , in the midst of the onslaught , have time to stop and discuss the lack of good coffee , failed relationships , career choices . 
the only common occurrence that doesn't take place here is having one of the characters have a bowel movement , but then that would have made them believable . 
godzilla for the most part is okay . 
the design of the beast is funky , if not very memorable . 
one thing that comes to mind-- the major redirection of godzilla in this film is to remove his most familiar trademark , namely his atomic breath . 
now , i for one can't quite fathom how you can call this monster godzilla without that little trait . 
a good comparison would be to make a superman film and eliminate his ability to fly . 
there is so much wrong with this film that i can't really recall anything recently that has left me this cold hearted ( except for my divorce ) . 
any film that can have a two ton lizard slipping on gum balls has got to be envisioned under the influence of prozac . 
the addition of the baby raptors ( ah , i meant godzillas ) , are nothing but a direct rip off of 'jurassic park "" , but with none of that film's suspense or tension . 
suffice to say that , "" godzilla "" is without a doubt the most brain dead motion picture of the decade . 
this is a film that needed the hype . 
with the current level of writing and directing , nothing else about the film succeeds . 
if you've seen the trailers , you've seen the best parts . 
my only suggestion for mr . d and mr . e . is that they could always go back to selling shoes . 
 . this film could be the next "" rocky horror "" . 
only it's not funny ! 
"
"-1","woody allen is one of the most successful artist-directors in hollywood , but he is becoming less and less reliable as a filmmaker . 
in his early years of film-making he mastered the simple comedy . 
from there he went into a second phase and took risks experimenting with different approaches and styles . 
some of these work better than others . 
zelig and crimes and misdemeanors are the work of a creative and intelligent artist . 
deconstructing harry goes to the other extreme and is a bizarre experiment demanding more of the viewer than it gives back . 
harry block ( allen ) has in his life only two drives . 
he wants to have sex with as many women as possible and when he makes a mess of his life and those of his lovers he wants to retreat into his writing . 
the story of this static and highly unsympathetic character is told with a number of often clumsy stylistic experiments . 
perhaps the most irritating device is to express the disjointedness of harry's life by editing harry's scenes putting in cuts in the middle as if to show missing time with something edited out . 
as a writer , harry puts his friends into his books in the thinnest of disguises . 
the film dramatizes incidents from these supposed books and cuts between his real story line and fragments from harry's books with different actors playing the real and fictional people in harry's life . 
these fragments are frustrating in their lack of completion , but even more frustrating is the bringing of the characters out of the fragments into scenes with the real characters . 
it is up to the viewer to keep track not just who is fictional and who is real but also to keep straight who is the fictional doppelganger of which real person . 
if that sounds complicated , it is . 
then as another device in one of the stories , an actor seems to have the peculiar property that he has gone out of focus and can only be seen in blurry image . 
harry sees this as a metaphor for his own condition and himself goes blurry for a short time . 
as if these touches did not create sufficient confusion , the story is told out of chronological order . 
if allen were giving the audience a story that was worth decoding , any and all of these stylistic touches could be excusable . 
but allen puts the audience through all of this to give us a portrait of harry block who is a selfish manipulator who is not worth the effort to understand . 
deconstructing harry is set at a time when harry's old college , the one that expelled him when he attended it , wants now to honor him for a lifetime of writing achievement . 
harry is searching among his friends to find one who will go with him . 
just why someone who is so unwilling to commit to a relationship with anyone suddenly needs the support of someone else is unclear . 
harry tries his current girl friend fay ( elizabeth shue ) only to find that she is about to marry harry's old friend larry ( billy crystal ) . 
block would like his son hilly ( eric lloyd ) to accompany him , but hilly's mother , previously first harry's psychiatrist and more recently his wife , refuses to let her son see his father . 
another friend richard ( bob balaban ) would go but has health problems . 
harry also considers bringing a prostitute cookie ( hazel goodman ) . 
it is interesting that allen should introduce another likable prostitute so soon after mighty aphrodite , but cookie is considerably different--black and a lot brighter than mira sorvino's character in the previous film . 
while the comedy sequences are never complete , a few are elaborate and some quite funny . 
the centerpiece of the film is a journey into hell with allen playing a sort of orpheus rescuing fay from the clutches of the devil , who looks a lot like larry . 
that story also is left uncompleted , perhaps to show harry's unwillingness to commit even to telling a story . 
the linchpin that was needed to tie together the stylistic quirks of this film was a central character who changes and who gives us something about which to care . 
that character is patently not the one allen creates in harry block and not the characters around harry as seen through his acerbic eyes . 
allen can do much better than deconstructing harry . 
i rate it a 3 on the 0 to 10 scale and a -1 on the -4 to +4 scale . 
"
"-1","here's a rarity : a children's film that attempts to tackle a weighty subject , is there a god ? 
done well , it could have been a gem among the wasteland of modern children's cinema . 
unfortunately , it isn't . 
with jumbled messages , and an unclear audience , wide awake was better left asleep . 
fifth grader joshua beal ( joseph cross ) is in the middle of a moral crisis . 
his beloved grandfather ( robert loggia ) has died , and joshua has begun a quest . 
he wants to find god , to discover why bad things happen . 
this religious quest is slightly disturbing for his parents ( dana delany and denis leary ) , but they do their best to cope with their son as he explores different religious faiths . 
at his catholic school , his favorite teacher , sister terry ( rosie o'donnell ) , tries to give him guidance , but this is a journey he must make on his own . 
meanwhile , he is having the most momentous year of his life . 
he has several adventures with his daredevil best friend dave ( timothy reifsnyder ) , he gets his first crush , and begins to wake up to the world around him while he is on his spiritual journey . 
it is somewhat confusing as to what the real audience for wide awake is expected to be . 
on its surface , it appears to be a kid's film . 
however , it deals with serious issues , and is likely to be boring for today's instant-gratification kids . 
and while it might seem heartening to see that someone is trying to produce something thoughtful for the kidvid audience , wide awake asks serious questions , but only delivers a cheap gimmick for an answer . 
if there were a bit more meat in the story , adults on a nostalgic bent might get a kick out of the movie . 
the actors who might have created a great cast ( o'donnell , leary and delany ) are wasted in roles that amount to little more than cameos . 
the nostalgic elements ( best friend , favorite teacher , first crush , etc . ) have been done much better in other movies , and actually seem more like filler here . 
the film's strongest scenes are some touching flashbacks depicting joshua's relationship with his grandfather . 
they show more depth than is present anywhere else in the movie . 
maybe the film would have been better if , instead of playing the relationship through flashbacks , it were set entirely during joshua's last year with his grandpa . 
it certainly would have been more entertaining . 
wide awake can best be described as a failed experiment . 
it starts out with noble aspirations , but never delivers on its promise . 
parents who do take their children to see this one ought to be prepared to answer some tough questions . . . that is if their kids aren't bored to death first . 
"
"-1","there's no reason to doubt that donnie brasco is based , as its opening credits proclaim , on a true story . 
but if it's an accurate picture of life on america's mean streets , than cinematic depictions of organised crime have had a much stronger basis in reality than i would have previously thought . 
for from the film's outset , when a group of hoods jocularly trade differing opinions on the merits of various automobiles ( not unlike a number of movie lowlifes who recently gave a madonna song a close reading ) donnie brasco resembles more than passingly a few gangster flicks once believed to be works of fiction . 
our eponymous hero ( johnny depp ) is not the cheap crook he first appears to be . 
brasco is joseph pistone , an undercover fbi agent who has the task of chumming-up to lefty ( al pacino ) , a seasoned hood who tutors pistone in the art of being a "" wiseguy "" . 
regrettably , pistone learns his lessons all too well . 
his concern for lefty , who is burdened with a heroin addicted son , exacerbates his own family troubles : his children resent his lengthy absences and his wife fears that her husband's gangster persona is becoming a little too convincing . 
true , the focus on pistone's family life does deviate from the typical gangster-flick formula , but this subplot never rises above its television drama origins . 
the unhappy couple trade predictable lines and engage in drawn-out domestic squabbles ? including an ill-advised marriage guidance routine ? that slow the film down unnecessarily . 
the biggest problem with donnie brasco , however , is that its wiseguy attitude and style lacks the flair of its many predecessors . 
the awkward use of an occasional disco tune momentarily reminds us its the 70's , but not with the consistent and blindingly tacky style ? i loved those fluoro coloured suits ? of scorces' costume drama casino . 
more importantly , pacino's presence triggers memories of his earlier movie triumphs in which similar territory was covered far more effectively . 
donnie brasco's take on american values , for instance , is feeble and obvious . 
lefty rambles out dreams of material betterment to the accompaniment of grating inspirational music . 
inexplicably , lefty's horatio alger inspired gush is supposed to move us . 
it doesn't any more than his family troubles do , which are dealt in the same saccharine and obvious manner as pistone's . 
just think a minute on how these themes were explored in the godfather movies and scarface . 
in these pictures pacino's dedication to a peculiar and bloody hyper-capitalism was twisted and confronting , while his dogged application of macho wiseguy procedure meant that his relations to friends and family was intriguingly dark ? neither were spared bloody retribution for breaching wiseguy regulations . 
donnie brasco's tawdry little crime , therefore isn't so much its repetition of familiar gangster themes , but the shameless way in which it sanitises them . 
 ( oh and by the way , i forgot to mention that the script also sports a startling subplot : pipstone's superiors are obstructive incompetents who are infuriated by his constant insubordination ? is that a "" damn you mcbain ! "" 
i hear from springfield way ? ) 
so the movie is cliched . 
big deal , what do you expect from a gangster-flick ? 
well you expect quality action sequences and bravado performances in abundance if its going to be a decent example of the genre . 
donnie brasco fails on both counts . 
the action scenes never rise above the ordinary and depp's woeful performance tends to smother the good-work of his comrades . 
admittedly , pacino does nothing new and michael madsen ( sonny ) simply smirks his way through the picture like a slightly subdued mr . white , but both possess an unmistakable sly charm . 
depp usually exhibits a bit of class himself , but regrettably , being in the presence of one of his betters must have left him star-struck , for he is completely hell-bent on mimicking pacino's well-earned high style . 
the consequences are painful to watch . 
its no exaggeration to say that the film's credibility is seriously strained by the sight of the pistone family's uncanny ability to keep a straight face in front of their breadwinner's phony brooklyn accent . 
perhaps we should take pity on the makers of donnie brasco . 
maybe a scrupulous adherence to pinpoint accuracy demanded tiered dialogue and scenarios weakly reminiscent of classic gangster flicks . 
if this is indeed the case , surely the makers of donnie brasco could have explored the fascinating possibility that america's underworld is committed to emulating , albeit in heavily attenuated form , their movie namesakes . 
depp could have poignantly played a simple cop who becomes a hideous parody once he is forced to mimic big-screen gangster greats . 
who knows what insights into the criminal psyche could have arisen ? 
but then again , perhaps donnie brasco isn't so true after all . 
"
"-1","these days the lack of originality in hollywood reflects itself in the deluge of remakes . 
but , only a few years ago , before wes craven publicly made fun of the practice , sequels had been more popular among hollywood producers . 
sequels also used to be popular among directors and movie stars whose careers went south . 
the way to regain popularity and prestige , they thought , was the use the same formulas , characters and story lines that brought them success in the first place . 
one of such celebrity was eddie murphy , black comedian of 1980s whose career was in big decline during the first part of this decade . 
in order to return to the spotlight , he chose to resurrect the franchise created by his most popular film , beverly hills cop , 1984 action comedy that had already spawned the sequel in 1987 . 
seven years later , for the third instalment , he used the directorial service of john landis , another fading star , with whom he successfully collaborated twice - in trading places and coming to america . 
this time , however , third time wasn't the charm and beverly hills iii was failure . 
eddie murphy had to wait few more years for real comeback . 
eddie murphy here plays axel foley , fast-talking streetwise detroit policeman , who raids illegal chop shop . 
the routine police action ends in tragedy , when the criminals kill foley's boss . 
determined to bring the killers to justice , foley realises that their leader is ellis de wald ( timothy carhart ) . 
when it turns out that de wald happens to be security chief for wonderland theme park in los angeles , foley goes back to los angeles . 
there , with the help of his old friend , local policeman rosewood ( judge rheinhold ) , foley would clash with money counterfeit ring . 
ten years has passed since the original and times are definitely different . 
in this decade , the contrast between blue collar detroit and yuppie beverly hills , which provided a lot of gags in 1984 film , simply doesn't work . 
screenwriter steven e . de souza provides another conflict , this time between the childish sillyness of the good guys and business-like professionalism of the bad guys . 
since foley belongs to the former , his character had to watch his language , and the tone of the film in general is more infantile . 
unfortunately , this film still belongs to action movie genre , and there is too much violence for little children . 
nice example is the humorous scene in the beginning , which turns into standard ramboesque bloodbath . 
unlike donner with the lethal weapon series , landis simply can't balance the comedy with "" regular "" action , and the result is a film that fails in both aspects . 
action scenes are sometimes interesting , but not too spectacular ( at the end , scenery of wonderland is more fascinating than the action itself ) ; humour , on the other hand , falls flat . 
to make even worse , some minor characters from 1984 film gets unnecessary and sometimes irritating overexposure ( especially art expert turned into arms dealer , played by bronson pinchot ) . 
in the end , although the film provided some entertainment , viewers , at least critical ones , would probably be happy to know that there aren't any plans for beverly hills iv . 
"
"-1","i have never been so confused after watching a movie . 
 "" meet joe black "" is probably one of the most visually satisfying films of this year , with a cinematography , music and cast that will dazzle most of us . 
at the same time it is probably the most boring and ridiculous experience hat you will have this season . 
at first you marvel at the elegant direction , graceful cinematography and sensual musical score . 
then you'll wait for something to happen for half an hour , but when you finally understand what's going on , you'll wonder what are actors such as anthony hopkins , brad pitt and claire forlani are doing in a film like this ? 
the script is simply a silly and unresolved story , which is artificially stretched into a three hour long motion picture . 
it feels like an eternity . 
most of the time it is a pompous soap opera , filled with empty dialogue that the actors deliver in a high pitched voice and "" meaningful "" winks . 
the film is based on alberto caesella's play "" death takes a holiday "" . 
the story concentrates around bill ( anthony hopkins ) who lives a fulfilled life as a successful business man , but sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night and hears a voice that is saying "" yes "" . 
soon he meets a young elegant gentlemen ( brad pitt ) who introduces himself as "" death "" . 
it is bill's time . 
but death has other plans . 
it has come down to us simple mortals to find out what it means to be alive . 
our bill is chosen to be death's guide and in exchange he gets time . 
bill introduces death as joe black , who immediately becomes the center of everyone's attention . 
bill's business partners speculate about why joe is constantly at bill's side , lives in his house and resides at his office . 
that is not all , however . 
bill's youngest daughter susan ( claire forlani ) falls in love with the mysterious stranger and joe falls in love with her . 
this relationship is bound to have some serious consequences . 
it wouldn't be fair to say that this film didn't have some interesting moments , such as the scene where joe is invited to join bill's family for dinner . 
when joe starts enjoying peanut butter and later falls in love , the experience is somewhat different . 
it is obvious that a story like this story is very difficult to structure . 
it's one thing to say : "" wouldn't it be fun to have death take human form and come down to earth . . "" 
to create a motion picture out of this is another . 
four screenwriters have worked on a script that lacks drive and logic . 
it is overlong and too primitive to pass as a serious film . 
on the other hand it demonstrates incredible performances and a very decent direction by martin brest ( "" scent of a woman "" ) . 
hopkins looks great in any role , and no matter how shallow or hollow it is , he will complete it . 
his talent and charisma are needed here more than any where else , since it actually saves the film from a complete embarrassment . 
but pitt is the one that got one of the most difficult roles of recent time . 
how can you play death in human form ? 
to me it seems that death and life are not something that can be associated with earthly matters . 
they are not creatures , but phenomenas . 
saying that death takes human form would be the same as to suggest that eternity would take human form . 
handling such a ridiculous task is incredibly difficult and pitt deserves some credit for his work . 
speaking in a calm , soft voice , portraying death as a lonely , distant and powerful guy that is unfamiliar with practical earthly matters . 
he looks and acts more like an angel of death , rather than a demon or a red-eyed executioner . 
claire forlani and others are also fine , stretching their stereotypical characters to their limits . 
unfortunately their performances are not enough to rescue this film from its self inflicted misery . 
in other words this is not what i expected from the director of "" scent of a woman "" . 
it could ( and should ) be better with such cast and crew . 
in the end it seems as if they have all been intensively working on a ravishingly looking soap opera . 
"
"-1","this is crap , but , honestly , what older american audience is going to be able to resist seeing jack lemmon and james garner as bicker- ing ex-presidents ? 
especially when their supporting players in- clude dan aykroyd as the current commander in chief , lauren bacall as a former first lady , and john heard as the dan quayle-ish vice president . 
yup , you're talkin' pre-sold property here and , for warner brothers , the perfect fit into their now-ritual grumpy old men holiday slot . 
for the non-discriminating viewer , my fellow americans is fine . 
the raw star power alone will have audiences applauding this atrocious political- thriller road-comedy . 
 ( they did in mine , heaven help us . ) 
for the rest of us , the movie is immediately tiresome . 
the tone is terrible and the banter is worse . 
forget wit-- lemmon and garner merely exchange profanities through most of the movie . 
 ( has anyone counted the number of first penis references ? ) 
sure , some of the bits are absurdly funny , including a men's room macarena joke , the appearance of an elvis impersonator on a trainload of tarheels , and an all dorothy marching band performing "" over the rainbow "" at a gay men's march . 
the get there from here , though , you have to submit to one of the most offensively overbearing musical scores of all time . 
judas priest , is there a single moment of silence in this film ? 
even the dialogue gets drowned out . 
what a waste . 
"
"-1","keep cool , a chinese film directed by semi-accomplished filmmaker yimou zhang , was one of the kickoff films for this year's hawaii international film festival . 
on the day it premiered , lines of eager moviegoers stretched around the block , some anticipants having queued up well in advance to get a good seat in the theater . 
they need not have wasted their time . 
the movie is billed as a comedy , but is surprisingly bereft of humor . 
there are noticeable attempts at laughs , but very few tries actually click . 
i wondered if there were jokes that i wasn't getting because i'm not from china , but unfortunately my conclusion was that this lack of humor couldn't be attributed to the cultural barrier either . 
keep cool just isn't very funny . 
the prelude to the film was a visit by keep cool's producer who , with the help of an interpreter , regaled us of how in order to get the print to the festival in time , an assistant hand carried it on the plane from china to hawaii . 
although the print made it , the assistant's luggage was lost . 
too bad that story wasn't in the movie , because it got a big laugh . 
qu ying , the film's female lead , was also on hand to give a few comments . 
however , whereas the producer politely made regular pauses in his dialog so the interpreter could bring us up to speed , ms . ying saw fit to say everything she had to say in one , fast-paced , incredibly long tirade . 
it was dizzying ; good foreshadowing for the film . 
you see , keep cool is filmed almost totally with a camera handheld by a man with a bad case of the shakes . 
at least that's the way it seems , since the camera is constantly moving . 
cinema verite is one thing , but panning and shaking around until your audience has a headache is another . 
although some might consider it a form which helps give the viewer an idea of the anarchic state into which chinese youth is slowly growing , i found it thoroughly distracting , and after a while , quite annoying . 
headache , as i said . 
the film is about a young bookseller ( wen jiang ) who is after a young woman ( qu ying ) . 
they used to be romantically involved , but the woman grew tired of him and left the relationship . 
the first half of the film is about the young man's plan to win her back . 
of course the thing is , she doesn't want to be won back , and has a nightclub owner friend of hers rough him up a bit . 
in the fight , the young man grabs a laptop computer belonging to a bystander and attempts to use it to fend off his attacker , but only ends up smashing it against a lamppost . 
we later find out that the laptop belongs to an older man who wishes to get his damaged computer replaced . 
there is a funny scene ( the only one in the film ) where the young man tries to use some twisted logic in order to get the older man to seek out the nightclub owner ( baotian li ) in order to recoup his losses . 
there is no sense to be made out of the young woman's behavior ; cold one minute , caring the next , so we feel no sympathy for her character . 
the bookseller would be better off without her . 
although the second half of the film causes us to lose a lot of sympathy for the young bookseller as well , who is obsessed with chopping off the nightclub owner's hand as revenge for the beating he took , it also offers us some nice interaction between the bookseller and the older man . 
while the bookseller is blinded by his thirst for revenge , the older man is the voice of reason and tries to rationalize each situation . 
his quest to end the dispute peacefully and equitably is the one we identify with , but it is frustrating to see that he seems to be talking to a brick wall half the time . 
a friendship develops between the two men , but it occurs too late in the film for the audience to appreciate . 
although only an hour and a half in length , keep cool contains extraneous material . 
the whole plot of how the bookseller is after the young woman could have been taken out , since we don't see her from the midpoint on . 
a case of mistaken identity or some other device could have served as the point of conflict between the bookseller and the nightclub owner , and would have saved us from the bookseller's boring pursuit during the first half . 
but of course , this would have shortened the movie to less than an hour . 
there are a few things that keep cool does right . 
as mentioned before , the interaction between the bookseller and the older man is generally pretty good . 
although it grows tiresome , the reasoning with the unreasonable is a nice exercise in logic , and represents the differences in thinking between generations . 
in one scene , for example , the bookseller quotes confucius to get his point across , but the older man claims the quote was misinterpreted , and that it means something entirely different . 
also effective is the way zhang sets up tension within a scene , such as when the bookseller is getting ready to cut off the hand of the unwitting nightclub owner . 
the nightclub owner is counting out money , slapping each bundle of currency on the table . 
with every shot of his hand , we can hardly stand the interminable wait before the bookseller is going to pull out his cleaver and exact his revenge . 
unfortunately , these crumbs are not enough to overcome the rest of the film's shortcomings , and weren't enough to prevent that headache from lingering after i left the theater . 
"
"-1","although i had not been a viewer of the "" rugrats "" television series , i went into their first animated feature film , "" the rugrats movie , "" with a positive attitude . 
the trailer looked cute enough , after all . 
after seeing it , i think the words in my recent "" antz "" review , in which i stated that it was the worst film of its type since 1995's "" the pebble and the penguin , "" were a bit premature . 
 "" the rugrats movie , "" is bottom-of-the-barrel children's fare at its worst , and starts to make , "" antz "" look good in comparison . 
as in the show , "" the rugrats movie , "" is about a group of very little friends , ranging from babies to a three-year-old . 
the head of the group , tommy pickles ( e . g . 
daily ) , becomes distraught when his mother has a newborn baby named dill ( get it ? 
dill pickles ? . . . hardee-har-har ! ) and is informed by his three-year-old cousin , anjelica ( cheryl chase ) , that the new babies always take all of the attention away from the other children . 
when the other children , chuckie , and twins lil and phil , suggest taking dill back to the hospital , tommy goes along with it , but on their way there , they crash in the forest , and become lost , running into wolves and circus monkeys , among other things . 
 "" the rugrats movie , "" judging from the idea of being lost in the woods , could have been a potentially fun family film , and there were many different things that could have been done with the story . 
so what did the writers choose to do ? 
why , they set up a protracted , cliched scene where the children almost go over a waterfall , of course ! 
for the youngest of children ( ages 3-7 ) , "" the rugrats movie , "" may very well entertain them , judging from the audience i saw this with . 
of course , if you looked around at all of the older kids and their parents , they were all desperately struggling to stay awake , and that included me . 
for an adult , "" the rugrats movie , "" is a piece of garbage . 
the plotline is unoriginal and the writing has absolutely no wit or charm . 
there isn't one laugh to be had in the film , nor is there any excitement . 
if anything is even marginally good in the picture , it is the bright animation style , so it is especially unfortunate that it wasn't to service a more quality film . 
 "" the rugrats movie "" is doa from the start . 
i am all for a worthwhile family movie , but sometimes an animated film comes along that is simply awful . 
as said before , young children may like it , but even they deserve better than this . 
for adults , it is a nearly unbearable , excruciating chore to sit through . 
as for me , "" the rugrats movie , "" is not the worst of the year , nor is it the most deeply hated , but it is the most boring . 
parents : do yourselves a favor and take your kids to see the rerelease of , "" the wizard of oz . "" 
that is a picture that contains a great deal of magic and wonder , two things of which , "" the rugrats movie , "" is completely missing . 
"
"-1","plunkett & macleane is a period piece mired down by modern mtv pretentions . 
i have nothing against the mtv approach to filmmaking -- used properly it can save a movie ( see stigmata ) -- but it ruins this one , making a muddled , incoherent mess out of a potentially interesting premise . 
there are certain genres that just don't go together . 
the film opens with a sequence that i still don't understand . 
it involves some sort of prison outbreak , a robbery , and a gem that keeps being eaten . 
in any case , the caper ( whatever it may be ) brings together plunkett and macleane ( robert carlyle and johnny lee miller , respectively ) , two happy-go-lucky brits with no way to make a living . 
they make a pact to steal money from the rich and give it to themselves until they earn enough money to buy a ticket to america . 
their first heist involves a young debutante named lady rebecca ( liv tyler ) ; a woman macleane was especially friendly with at a party just earlier . 
his decorum when stripping her of her valuables earns our two crooks the name "" gentleman highwaymen . "" 
lady rebecca also happens to be the niece of the lord chief justice , a glaringly arrogant man nearing the end of his political career . 
he demands that the robbers be caught and punished immediately , leaving the job in the hands of the devious chance ( ken stott ) who has a few more things on his mind than catching criminals . 
meanwhile , macleane falls in love with rebecca infuriating the businesslike plunkett , who doesn't want his plans to be foiled by his partner's mindless romantic travails . 
director jake scott , son of ridley scott ( alien , blade runner ) , has his father's knack for setting up atmospheric shots but none of his skill in actually moving the camera . 
most of the action scenes are filmed in such a rapid , jerky way that it's impossible to comprehend what's going on . 
the camerawork is even more nauseating than in the purposefully dizzying the blair witch project due to its lack of fluidity . 
instead of utilizing panning shots to impress upon us the scope of the events scott uses attention-deficit-disorder edits . 
he barely ever holds a shot for more than ten seconds and during the faster scenes it seems more like a couple frames between each cut . 
the weird , almost defiant lack of dialogue ( there are no -- no -- conversations lasting over , say , 20 seconds ) undermines character definition and our two protagonists come off as ciphers rather than characters . 
the love affair between macleane and rebecca is no different , emotionless and unrealistic . 
when the script calls for macleane to decide between going to america and going to meet his lover , there is no reason for us to believe it would be worth it for him to abandon his goal ; he and rebecca barely even speak to each other throughout the film . 
plunkett and macleane wants desperately to be a triumph of style over substance but since its style , quite frankly , blows , the film has no hope of succeeding on any level . 
i wanted to appreciate this movie on the basis of its admittedly kinetic pace but i couldn't -- it was so kinetic it gave me a headache . 
"
"-1"," * this review contains spoilers * as with most of her films , director amy heckerling's latest , loser , seesaws between unpleasant and artificial , and is sometimes both at once . 
when she tackles big issues , such as abortion in fast times at ridgemont high , it's impossible to tell whether she's being matter-of-fact or glib about them ( they carry an almost documentary starkness ) , but whatever the case , she continually refuses to comment politically . 
such is the sitcom tendency of her work : to jeopardize the innocence of her characters and then hit the reset button . 
this fear of drama soured me on fast times . . . , look who's talking , clueless , and now loser , in which ms . heckerling also demonstrates , for the first time , zero affinity for the milieu . 
has anyone , for instance , ever met a girl in the stylistic vein of mena suvari's dora ? 
attired in black thrift , her eye shadow smeared to racoon chic and her bangy red hair barely contained by girlish clips , she accepts the label of goth , but no self-respecting goth girl ever admitted to digging , as dora does , those geriatric rockers everclear , nor willingly went anywhere with a six-pack-wielding fratboy stranger . 
the mechanics of loser's tired old introvert-boy-falls-for-extrovert-girl plot drive its protagonists into cultural non-specificity , so that they become even less than stereotypes . 
they become walking wardrobes . 
small-town transplant paul ( a strangely static jason biggs ) , our eponymous hero , always wears his woolly hunter's cap with flaps covering the ears , and beneath it rests a parted moptop that couldn't scream "" shemp "" ( the lame stooge ) wig louder . 
he has three smug-looking roommates ( the one-dimensional trio is not supposed to be brothers , but they share similar facial features , including and especially mouths ) , and their fashion sense is incomprehensibly glam . 
though they're not overtly transvestites , heckerling seems to be equating flamboyance with villainy ; how very cruising of her . 
 ( the dormies conspire to evict paul and regularly molest women they have drugged . 
dora ignorantly downs one of their date rape potions . 
unfortunately , either heckerling or the studio is too cowardly to admit if she was subsequently violated . ) 
when paul rescues dora from said narcotic scare , he learns that she is dating their unctuous european lit professor edward alcott ( superb greg kinnear ) . 
although paul's already in love with dora by this point , as is bound to happen to losers when pretty girls address them by name , he gets altruistic and pretends the flowers he bought her are actually from alcott . 
she's thrilled , but nevertheless spends a few days at paul's to recuperate ; the two bond over emergency kitten surgery and a broadway play ( "" cabaret "" ) , and just when paul's got in his head that she's starting to love him back in that non-friendly way , she decides to become alcott's live-in girlfriend . 
cue precious hommage to the graduate , shots of paul drifting around berkeley--er . . . 
 ( aside : simon & garfunkel's "" parsley , sage , rosemary & thyme "" should never have been allowed in another motion picture . ) 
heckerling has a lot in common with nora "" you've got mail "" ephron , the only other prominent chick directing comedies today , in that neither has any use for strong-willed women . 
men continue to trod on dora until the bitter end ( in the final scene , she gives paul a big smooch after he blurts out his feelings in what amounts to a creepy ultimatum ) , and dora ultimately shrugs off being drugged against her will--mere hours after paul hints to her that she was poisoned , she's cheerily redecorating his apartment . 
 ( heckerling is so laissez-faire about the issue in general that she reserves the comeuppance of the would-be rapists for jokey epilogue titles . ) 
goth veneer aside , there are an awful lot of girls out there who behave as erratically as dora , and enough angry young dude filmmakers to make movies about them . 
heckerling misses her shot at having dora transform herself into a role model , and while such arcs may not be heckerling's social responsibility , it is a privilege i would have taken advantage of if i were in her shoes . 
 ( consider , too , that dora is the film's sole female principal . ) 
not that loser is worth contemplating this seriously--god knows heckerling didn't . 
that is her hallmark . 
 ( --- for more first-run , dvd , and books-about-movies reviews , plus contests and the proverbial "" more ! "" , 
visit 'film freak central , ' @ http : //filmfreakcentral . net 
--- ) 
"
"-1","fantastically over hyped , godzila finally lumbers onto the big screen . 
the film opens with footage of nuclear testing on the french polynesian islands , then an attack on a boat from some beast , and finally we join dr . nick tatopoulos ( broderick looking about 17 years old ) doing some research in chernobyl . 
some shady u . s government guys appear , and ask him to come to an island where they have massive footprints , from what looks like a giant lizard . 
and what's more , this beast is heading for new york . 
gulp ! 
although godzilla should be a non stop roller coaster ride , and at some points it is , there is something curiously uninvolving and unexciting about this movie . 
the main faults lie with the acting and writing , common problems with 'summer blockbuster' movies . 
broderick is pretty useless as the hero , with no humour or a 'tough guy' image . 
while emmerich's previous summer flick , independence day ( 1996 ) had wisecracks and action from jeff goldblum and will smith , this has neither . 
also , maria pitillo , as broderick's former girlfriend , is just as useless , with a chronic disability in acting . 
she's incapable of showing emotion , speaks every line in the same way , and basically she's total crap . 
it's up to french actor jean reno to save the day , and indeed he does , turning in a campy performance as a french secret agent . 
shame he has such little screen time in such a overlong film . 
hank azaria also turns up as a crazy cameraman named 'animal' , and he adds a little life to the picture . 
also making an appearance is harry shearer ( probably best know for doing voices in the simpsons ) as a slimy news reporter . 
o . k , so the acting is not up to par , but it never is in these movies . 
but what about the script ? 
well , that's not up to par either . 
emmerich and screenwriting pal dean devlin seem so caught in the destruction of new york city that they forgot to write a script . 
the dialogue is banal ( broderick looks at a lot of fish and utters 'that's a lot of fish . ' ) , and the character development is non existent ( reno plays the typical frenchman ( 'no croissant ? ' ) , 
broderick forever remains a geeky scientist . ) 
also , the film is seriously lacking a sense of humour . 
the jokes that are uttered are pathetic , and there's an 'hilarious' running gag about siskel and ebert . 
 ( the mayor is mayor ebert , and is assistant is called gene ! 
ha ha ha ha ! . ) 
the plot is dire , and in the end just rips off jurassic park ( 1993 ) by having lots of baby godzilla's ( i . e . 
velicorapters ) running around new york . 
right , so the script and acting suck . 
but what about the special effects ? 
thankfully , they're are quite good . 
godzilla is an impressive piece of cgi , although we don't see much of him because the movie is so dark . 
the destruction of new york is pretty well done aswell . 
but although they are impressive , they can't save godzilla from being an hugely disappointing and boring movie . 
the movie goes on for far too long aswell , and it can't seem to decide on a ending . 
and of course , the ending itself leaves possibility for a sequel . 
let's just hope one never arrives . 
"
"-1","movie concepts are often pitched to producers with mathematical formulas involving successful films of the past . 
so , undoubtedly one day someone said , "" 'evolution ? ' 
it's 'ghostbusters' plus 'men in black' plus 'tremors . ' "" 
and so it is . 
sum total none . 
the alienbusting begins when a meteor lands in glen canyon , arizona . 
community college science profs ira kane ( david duchovny ) and harry block ( orlando jones ) take some samples from the meteor and discover that one-celled organisms from inside it are evolving rapidly , doing in hours what took millions of years for life on earth . 
just about the time i was wondering , "" hey , doesn't the government usually come in and take over the whole area in these movies , "" the government came in and took over the whole area . 
the leader of the pack , gen . woodman ( ted levine ) , turns out to be an old nemesis of ira's , and ira and harry are blocked from doing further research . 
meanwhile , the organisms continue to grow until they are large enough to start attacking people . 
by this time , ira and harry have gained a friend in dr . allison reed ( julianne moore ) of the center for disease control . 
a country club poolboy , wayne green ( seann william scott ) , has also attached himself to the merry band . 
but can they find the means to stop the aliens in time ? 
director ivan reitman seems to be revisiting his biggest hit , 1984's "" ghostbusters , "" but "" evolution "" falls miserably short . 
one reason is readily apparent . 
 "" ghostbusters "" had three really funny guys as its scientists ( bill murray , dan aykroyd , and harold ramis ) , but "" evolution "" has one really funny guy ( orlando jones ) who can adlib and milk the comic potential of lines that prove useless in anyone else's hands . 
for good measure , "" ghostbusters "" had the comic talents of rick moranis ; "" evolution "" offers seann william scott , who was much funnier in "" american pie "" and "" road trip "" than he is here . 
scott has one amusing scene where he sings "" you are so beautiful to me "" to a dragon-like alien to draw it into a trap . 
other than that , scott seems unable to make much of the thin material the writers gave him . 
an actor in search of a forte , david duchovny looked for his gritty action hero side in "" playing god "" and his romantic side in "" return to me . "" 
now he wants to find his wacky comedic talent ; what we all find is that he doesn't have any . 
look for him to be back on tv in five years or so . 
another sad case is julianne moore , who needs to be more selective about the offers she accepts . 
she's a talented actress with an impressive list of credits and award nominations , so why is she trying to do slapstick comedy ? 
her character has a tendency to trip over and bump into things , but the trait comes off as a pathetic plea for laughs . 
the sole saving grace of the film is jones . 
he's at the center of the movie's funniest scene -- where an alien bug invades harry's body and has to be pulled out through his ass . 
jones is the only cast member who can take the comedic ball and run with it , but he can't carry the whole movie by himself . 
he found himself in a similar situation in "" the replacements , "" where he was also the only comic talent in an ensemble cast . 
jones will eventually find the project that will make him a major comedy star , but this isn't it . 
"
"-1","well arnold has completed the seemingly impossible task . 
he has made three consecutive unsatisfactory action films . 
in a domain that he owns , it is very surprising that this goliath of an action star can not tell a good action script from a bad one . 
eraser , back in 1996 , was a confused film that made no attempt at all to make sense . 
batman and robin , in 1997 , was the black sheep of the batman series with ridiculous acting , idiotic action scenes , and painfully flashy costumes . 
now in 1999 , "" end of days "" ( not "" the end of days "" ) is the third strike in a tough at bat for arnold . 
is this the end of a powerful action star's long-lived career ? 
will arnold ever give us another unforgettable performance in another unforgettable classic like those in the past ( "" terminator "" , "" terminator 2 : judgement day "" , "" predator "" ) ? 
or an unforgettable performance in a great guilty pleasure like those in the past ( "" commando "" , "" red sonja "" , "" true lies "" ) ? 
it doesn't look that way . 
 "" end of days "" begins with the birth of a baby girl in 1979 who inexorably , due to the formation of the stars on that night , will be the carrier of satan's baby the hour before new year's of 2000 . 
fortunately for the movie's sake , the girl grows up and now resides in manhattan with skyscrapers , subway trains in dark tunnels , and a myriad of inept nypd officers . 
it's an action film's dream come true when the director is given tons of cool stuff to blow up . 
imagine if the girl had lived in anytown , usa , where the only thing to destroy is a dairy queen and a post office . 
arnold schwarzenegger ( jericho cane ) , in a series of boring events finds himself in the middle of a religious battle between the church , who is trying to hide the girl ( or in some cases trying to kill her ) , and satan ( gabriel byrne ) who is trying to make her pregnant . 
if the devil is successful , the world will no longer exist as we know it . 
jericho feels it is his duty to protect the girl from everyone because 1 ) he once had faith but no longer does and 2 ) his wife and daughter were killed and he feels responsible for it . 
jericho cane is your cliched , by-the-numbers hero right up to his name . 
arnold fittingly plays the character as cliched as he can . 
he shouts at everyone , from cops to priests , to the devil . 
in one truly hilarious scene , which was supposed to be the ultimate dramatic high point , jericho screams to the devil ; "" you are a @#$^% ! & 
choir boy ! 
you are a choir boy ! "" 
those two lines marked the high points of this film . 
a movie can still be enjoyable when the supporting cast is more effective than the main actor . 
 "" end of days "" fails to contain any memorable performances with the exception of gabriel byrne . 
byrne , playing a man who has been made the manifestation of the devil , seems to be the only one who is having fun in this whole movie . 
he wonderfully plays a manipulative villain with the power to control everyone at any time . 
the annoying thing about his character , however , is that he has the power to kill any human with a simple punch in the face , yet he finds it impossible to seriously hurt jericho . 
i can not count the number of times he could have killed jericho and taken the girl from his custody . 
the other actors in the film give very weak and unconvincing performances . 
kevin pollak , who plays the partner and close friend of jericho , is the supposedly funny character in the film ( every action movie has one ) . 
the one problem is that pollak does not deliver one funny line . 
robin tunney plays the chosen mother of satan's baby with extreme annoyance . 
she gets no sympathy from any of the characters in the film , except arnold who pretends she is his wife and daughter , or any of the viewers in the audience . 
in one unnecessary scene , tunney walks out of her room and takes her top off . 
is this her job in the film ? 
the actors are not to blame entirely because the script is terrible . 
you can tell a script is terrible when you are able to predict what will happen minutes before it does . 
this little prediction game is a very fun exception to trying to sit through this nonsense of a movie . 
in a last attempt to make this movie good , special effects are used to try to entertain the audience . 
but without a memorable action scene in the whole film , the director has not done his job successfully . 
this film would have gotten a c+ if arnold stood in front of a camera and shouted "" you are a ! $@^@ * ^ 
choir boy ! ! "" 
for two hours . 
"
"-1","whether or not i would be considered a trekker probably depends on whom you would ask . 
i have been a fan of both the original series and its recently retired follow-up , as well as the even- numbered entries in the film series . 
however , i have never been one of those folks who store away trek minutiae and get into debates over the relative merits of spock vs . data . 
somewhere along the line , the "" star trek "" film series began to seem more and more directed at those in the latter category , and star trek : generations may be the natural conclusion of this direction . 
its production values may be high , but the writing is frequently appalling , and instead of a script has a collection of references , in-jokes and ill-defined characters . 
generations opens in the late 23rd century , where members of the original enterprise crew , including captain james t . kirk ( william shatner ) , are present for the christening of the latest ship to bear that name . 
no sooner is it out on its maiden voyage than a distress signal brings them to the nexus , a mysterious ribbon of energy . 
among those rescued from the nexus is long-lived alien dr . soran ( malcolm mcdowell ) , but he is none-too-pleased at being back in the real world . 
seventy-eight years later , soran is still trying to get back to the nexus , and again encounters an enterprise , this one led by captain jean-luc picard ( patrick stewart ) . 
soran's plan involves destroying a star with an inhabited planet , and the only hope for saving 230 million people is the historic meeting of two enterprise captains . 
i don't think it is an insult to fans of "" star trek "" to suggest that to a certain extent , the particulars of a plot are not really the most important elements in a "" trek "" film . 
it's about a chance to visit with old friends , and if they are involved in a truly interesting story it can be considered gravy . 
but even that interpretation assumes that characterization has to be consistent , and in generations that just doesn't happen . 
data ( brent spiner ) is particularly victimized by this sloppy writing . 
in the film's major sub-plot , data decides to use a chip which will give him human emotions , a chip he has had in his possession for over a year . 
what is his motivation for taking this drastic and perhaps dangerous step ? 
he doesn't get a joke . 
once the chip is in place , spiner gets to have a lot of fun with data's new emotions , but the point is that he's no longer the data we know . 
if the rest of the "" next generation "" cast fares any better , it's only because they're on the screen so little that they're simply window dressing . 
but then again , this story isn't really about the new crew . 
it's about kirk and picard , the cowboy and the politician , sharing the screen . 
the huge surprise is that william shatner blows patrick stewart away . 
perhaps because he knows this is his last go-round in the part that made him a legend , shatner looks like he's having the time of his life ; stewart , on the other hand , borders on the deferrential , and is saddled with the same lackluster motivations as everyone else in the cast . 
stewart's edginess is indicative of what may be a very bad sign for paramount's hopes to turn the new cast into the same kind of franchise the original cast was : these are clearly the not ready for big screen players . 
by contrast , the prologue which features scotty ( james doohan ) and chekhov ( walter koenig ) is the highlight of the film . 
these characters have become part of the popular mythology , and when they take over the enterprise in a moment of distress , it's a moment of high energy . 
only thirty years of history can create a moment like that , and that's time this new crew doesn't have . 
it certainly doesn't help that the plot they are stuck in is so convoluted and badly constructed that you need to leave a trail of bread crumbs to find your way out again . 
it's also loaded with little gags all aimed at those who are familiar enough with the series to turn to all their friends in a shared nudge of recognition . 
i wonder whether anyone who is coming in cold to the "" trek "" universe at this point would be anything but baffled and bored by what is going on . 
and what a waste of malcolm mcdowell , who could have been a great monomanical villain but should have been given a much more compelling reason for his obsession . 
there are plenty of details both scientific and of continuity to pick at , but to do so would be to ignore generations' major flaws . 
however , i would like to make one recommendation : seatbelts . 
not just for the enterprise crew , although you'd think by the 24th century space travel wouldn't involve rolling around on the floor during a battle . 
no , i think the audience might need them more . 
this journey is one bumpy ride . 
"
"-1","they should have stuck to the promise emblazoned on the original movie's poster : "" no sequel . "" 
scary movie 2 is nowhere near as funny as its predecessor , and it is not because the wayans brothers , shawn and marlon doing the writing and keenen ivory behind the camera , don't try . 
what defeats them is the genre they have chosen to spoof . 
the first movie - an outrageous , low-brow , savage satire of teen slasher flicks such as scream and i know what you did last summer - succeeded because of its take-no-prisoners attitude toward a type of film that was in vogue , familiar and popular . 
in scary movie 2 , the filmmakers take on the haunted house-ghost story format which , if you look at the grosses for such recent lame offerings as the respective remakes of the haunting and house on haunted hill , did not draw audiences nor enter the cultural psyche as did the various teen slasher series . 
scary movie 2 does start off promising with a wonderful spoof of the exorcist , featuring james wood in the max von sydow role and veronica cartwright lampooning ellen burstyn . 
of course split pea soup is the punch line - an overabundant amount , which offers the hope that the rest of the movie will be just as tasteless and excessive . 
but this pre-credit sequence has nothing at all to do with the main action , which features the cast members from the original signing up to spend a weekend at a creepy haunted mansion as part of a university class project . 
some of the jokes are as scatological and offensive as in the original , but they lack that take-no-prisoners bite that raised scary movie to the heights of burlesque . 
scary movie 2 merely lurches from one lame sendup to another , offering weak spoofs of that nike shoe ad in which everyone does acrobatics with a basketball , and the films what lies beneath and hannibal ( features that only faired adequately at the box office ) , john woo's mission : impossible 2 and charlie's angels . 
it is as if the wayans and their team of writers - at least seven are credited - just threw ideas in a blender and hoped they'd coalesce . 
they don't . 
while the pace of the original left you breathless , the sequel moves with the speed of an 18-wheeler carrying two tons of concrete up a steep mountain road . 
you can almost hear the reels panting . 
scary movie 2 tries very hard to live up to its original , but it falls very short . 
it's a dissatisfying spectacle , a very weak sister of a very good movie . 
the really scary aspect of this sequel is how disappointing it really is . 
"
"-1","vikings v . bears ? 
no , this isn't the lineup for monday night football . 
rather , these are the two opposing forces that will battle to the death in "" the 13th warrior , "" a film that is as dramatically flat as it is gratuitously gory . 
based on michael crichton's book , eaters of the dead , this viking saga tries to evoke the mysticism of fabled norsemen and the glorious battles that they fought . 
their strength and honor would eventually etch their place in history among the greatest warriors that ever picked up a sword . 
luckily for the vikings , however , their warring abilities were not as clumsy as this film . 
antonio bandaras is ahmed , a travelling ambassador . 
accompanied by his friend ( omar shariff in a cameo ) , they eventually come across a small viking village . 
we see that the vikings are an extremely proud group whose greatest strength is their fortitude . 
they laugh heartily , revel in their arrogance , and sing songs of battles won . 
but their festivities are about to be halted when a messenger boy arrives to tell the village leader that a great evil is threatening their land . 
help is needed quickly . 
an elderly , fortune-telling witch arrives . 
after a brief incantation , she proclaims that 12 warriors and one more "" not of norse blood "" are needed to ensure victory . 
personally , i always wonder why people believe these oracles when they look so haggardly and on the brink of insanity . 
nonetheless , 12 men eagerly accept their place while ahmed becomes the pivotal 13th . 
the group then sets out to do the greatest battle of their lives . 
of course during their ride , ahmed becomes the target of fun for the other 12 burly viking warriors . 
but he ably shows that it's not the size of the dog in the fight but rather the size of the fight in the dog . 
he is able to overcome the proud arrogance of the vikings , but will his skills ( and that of the group ) be enough to defeat whatever evil is menacing the countryside ? 
it does not look promising . 
these creatures , resembling bears , are strong and have high morale . 
they are fearless and display a desire for decapitating the heads of their enemies . 
they attack by the hundreds and the next strike will come soon . 
the warriors prepare their defenses and pray to their gods . 
they are ready to sacrifice their lives . 
 "" this is a good way to die , "" says one of the fallen warriors . 
despite the larger-than-life battle sequences , i was unmoved by the entire experience . 
at many points , i was even confused . 
for example , somewhere in the middle of the film , a sub-plot creeps up involving the prince of the threatened land . 
he seems to have an agenda to elevate himself to greater power during this crisis . 
however , the sub-plot never fully materializes , and we are left scratching our heads as to the purpose of its inclusion . 
there are other questions that i had , but the real problem was that the story ( little of it that there was ) offered no characters to love or hate . 
the leader of the viking warriors had the most charisma . 
however , banderas's role is completely underwritten and it is unclear why being the 13th warrior makes him so special . 
an entire rewrite of the ahmed character is in order . 
also , much of the action takes place during torrential downpours or at night , which made battles very difficult to follow . 
i would have preferred more time looking at the viking culture and how their beliefs shaped their decision to do battle against the enemy . 
as it stands , the film manages more confusion than intensity . 
it would make thor cry . 
"
"-1","apparently , when crap calls , jim carrey answers . 
here he is , mugging it up in countless unfunny ways for the fifth time , his second go-around in the role of pet detective ace ventura . 
that means more talking ass-cracks , penis jokes and cries of "" al-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lrighty then . "" 
it all adds up to a sequel that makes the original resemble schindler's list in terms of dramatic merit , or lack of . 
granted , there are a few laughs amid the constant barrage of pre-school humor , but anyone who appreciates good comedy will bang their head against the wall ten times for every minor chuckle . 
it's a painful experience for anyone with a brain . 
ace is distraught after accidentally dropping a racoon into a canyon ( in a parody of the opening scene of sylvester stallone's cliffhanger , jim carrey being the only person who can make stallone look like a college professor in terms of intellect , or lack of ) and decides to retire to the mountains of tibet to gain a higher level of consciousness ( or , in his case , a level of consciousness ) . 
but he is pulled out of retirement to the tune of $20 , 000 to retrieve a sacred white bat for an african tribe . 
why africa ? 
so carrey can disguise himself nude inside a fake rhino and later climb out the rear end as a tourist family watches ( "" look , the rhino's about to give birth ! "" ) . 
if that seems like hee-haw humor to you , by all means , see the movie . 
if not , claim your place in human civilization with the rest of us . 
obviously , there are quite a few nonmembers of civilization who made this movie , like the first ace ventura film ( i use the word "" film "" only because it was filmed , not because there's any level of artistic merit . ) , a huge success . 
in fact , carrey only has a career because of the decline of intelligence in our culture . 
you may say to me , "" but andrew , look at jerry lewis . 
he was born with a negative i . q . 
and look how popular he was thirty years ago . "" 
maybe , but i still say jerry lewis is a notch or two up on the comedic ladder because he never actually did an impression in a movie of a rabid bulldog biting off a man's testicles . . . 
lewis at least had the dignity to save that performance for when company came over . 
"
"-1","one of my favorite songs by the stranglers includes the lyric , "" you'd better watch out for the skin deep . "" 
i'd like to extend the same warning : watch out for skin deep , but whatever you do don't watch skin deep . 
skin deep is a tedious and uneven comedy written and directed by blake edwards . 
john ritter stars as zach , a dried up writer and insatiable womanizer with a big-time drinking problem . 
i never saw edwards' comedy the man who loved women , but i have to wonder whether skin deep is a remake . 
you see , to put it mildly , zach goes to bed with just about each and every woman he meets . 
as the movie opens , zach's wife , alex , catches him with not only his mistress but also his mistress' hairdresser . 
like any sensible wife , alex kicks zach out of the house and divorces him . 
in response , zach goes on a spiritual journey of drinking , womanizing , psychotherapy , and self-discovery . 
if you're turned on by the idea of watching ritter drink , get arrested , have sex , drink , crash his mercedes , have more sex , drink , get arrested again , drink , and sing horrendously at the piano , then skin deep should be right up your alley . 
skin deep makes the fatal mistake of inflicting on us unbelievable and unsympathetic characters . 
zach is a rich , '80s l . a . version of ritter's jack tripper character from "" three's company . "" 
like jack , zach is clumsy and inept ; he's the type of guy whose bad aim makes him accidently squirt breath freshener into his eye . 
zach is supposed to be charming and charismatic , but i failed to see even one redeeming virtue in him . 
consequently , i never felt the least bit of sympathy or pity for the philandering alcoholic during his moments of crisis . 
in fact , when zach crashes his ex-wife's wedding in a desperate attempt to stop her from remarrying , i actually rooted for her to go through with the ceremony . 
to add insult to injury , edwards gives his large supporting cast nothing but stereotypes with which to work . 
for instance , vincent gardenia's talents are wasted in his role as the fatherly bartender . 
of all the women in the film--and there are many--alyson reed , alone , stands out as zach's wife ; reed brings intelligence and sensitivity to the role . 
because we don't care the slightest bit about anyone in skin deep , the film's few feeble attempts at drama inevitably fail . 
the comedy in skin deep doesn't fare much better . 
most of the jokes are dumb , predictable , and sitcomish . 
about every ten minutes , however , edwards does manage to come up with a good line or a novel sight-gag , the most effective of which involves a pair of "" dueling "" condoms . 
overall , the laughs in skin deep are just too infrequent and the characters just too shallow for the film to stay afloat . 
my final criticism of the film lies in its glamorous depiction of alcohol and alcoholism . 
zach's excessive drinking is clearly ruining his life , but nevertheless it seems to give him more pleasure than pain . 
zach's drinking binges never have any truly serious or lasting consequences . 
if he crashes his mercedes , he gets a new one . 
if he gets arrested , his lawyer bails him out of jail . 
if his wife leaves him , she will eventually decide to give him a second chance if he'll clean up his act . 
the tone in skin deep is all wrong ; edwards treats a very serious issue far too lightly , making a joke out of a problem that is no joking matter . 
perhaps edwards should have studied dudley moore in arthur or , better yet , michael keaton in clean and sober before making skin deep . 
"
"-1","this movie about two dysfunctional families never really gets off the ground , despite some good performances from a basically competent cast . 
eddie ( sean penn ) and maureen ( robin wright penn ) are a not-so-happily married couple down on their luck . 
living in rented rooms in the seedier part of an unnamed city , they spend what little income they have at the local bar , owned by shorty ( stanton ) , eddie's best friend , and his wife georgie ( mazar ) . 
maureen and eddie share an odd relationship marked by eddie's frequent disappearances . 
on his return , he promises her the world and professes his undying love . 
their manic reunions all too soon lead to new lows , as eddie disappears again . 
like a junky craving the next high , maureen suffers through the lows to reach the next high . 
their relationship is further complicated by maureen's pregnancy . 
she wants the baby and the father , but deep down seems to sense the inevitability of losing the latter . 
during one of eddie's absences , maureen is attacked by kiefer , her neighbor , who gets her drunk ( with her cooperation ) and then insists on intimacy . 
she leaves badly bruised and in fear of what eddie might do -- not to her , but to kiefer . 
she lies about what happens to ensure that no harm will come to eddie as the result of his inevitable rage . 
he lashes out as she expects , and ends up in an institution for what he believes to be 3 months -- but in reality is 10 years . 
during this decade , maureen divorces eddie and remarries a more solid and reliable individual , joey ( travolta , in a small role ) . 
her life falls apart again when eddie is released from the institution and comes to find her . 
joey insists on bringing eddie into his home and making his wife choose between her husband ( and father of two children ) and stability ( joey makes a good living , drives a cadillac , and they live in a large house in the suburbs ) and the love of her previous life . 
she chooses her past , and sacrifices not only her new life but her old ( by giving up her and eddie's daughter to joey ) . 
but the eddie that she knew is gone , replaced by a mere shell of the man he was . 
maureen is herself a mere shell , more an automaton than a woman -- as if she had gone through whatever therapy and treatment eddie was given along with him . 
perhaps these two really do need each other and can find happiness ( or maybe the lack of sadness ) together , but the movie's denouement was not convincing . 
"
"-1","michael richards leaves his spot as kramer on the infamous seinfeld tv sitcom for a stint as a lanky , goofy best friend to jeff daniels' lawyer character in this ill-fated , and unfunny , "" comedy "" . 
plot : richard the actor ( richards ) has to take the place of charles the lawyer ( daniels ) in a real court case , after charles is left unintelligible from a night of heavy drinking at his bachelor party . 
the film follows the antics of the two men as they try to get away with their tomfoolery . 
critique : this movie did not make me laugh once . 
perhaps it was because i was tired when i watched it . 
perhaps . 
perhaps it was because i had seen richards perform most of the same schtick a thousand times on seinfeld . 
perhaps . 
perhaps it was because the movie just wasn't funny . 
absolutely . 
the lack of humour wasn't the only issue that i had with this film either . 
the movie attempts to weave a couple of love stories through its vision , but unfortunately , they are also lacking in conviction , believability and credibility . 
they are contrived and appear to be placed into the story for convenience sake . 
the actors were all adequate enough in their roles , but the problem didn't lie in the acting . 
i wish i could find one good reason for you to see this waste of time , but i can't . 
unless of course , you need something playing on your tv set while you waste some time around the house . 
overall , this movie stinks . 
on the good side , charlize theron is darn cute , and the movie is no longer then 90 minutes . 
on the bad side , this movie is not funny , interesting or enjoyable in any which way possible . 
a person wouldn't even enjoy his nachos while watching this emptiness . 
please skip it . 
little known facts : jonathan lynn earned a degree in law from cambridge before becoming an actor/director . 
charlize theron grew up on a farm outside benoni , south africa , as the only child . 
at the age of 18 her mother made her go to los angeles to try a career in the movie industry . 
she came to la without knowing anyone in the city but after two weeks when she was standing in line on hollywood boulevard an agent gave her his card . 
after eight months in la she got her first part . 
since then she has taken acting lessons and her career has skyrocketed , specifically in devil's advocate ( 8/10 ) . 
charlize was narrowly beat out by elizabeth berkley for the lead role in the "" movie "" , showgirls . 
she was quoted as saying "" it was like i had some guardian angel . "" 
"
"-1","jackie chan kicks his way into van damme territory with twin dragons , an embarrassingly bland action comedy of mistaken identities . 
chan plays separated-at-births boomer and john ma , whose drastically different paths . . . 
aw , forget the plot description , it's not even worth the space . 
but let's face it . 
no one goes to jackie chan movies for the plot anyway . 
the scenes where nothing happens in chan's films have always been little more than glue thriftily spread to hold the action sequences together . 
in the case of twin dragons , however , the tiresome plot-driving scenes fritter away so much of the movie that you almost want to shout ( at the risk of demeaning the artistic value of cinema ) , "" get to the good part already ! "" 
most of the film is devoted to showing the brothers' efforts to hide the other's existence from their own acquaintances . 
why it is necessary to do this is not satisfactorily explained , but neither are a lot of aspects of the plot . 
the twins' love interests , demure club-singer barbara ( chan-film regular maggie cheung ) and lusty bride-hopeful tammy ( nina li chi ) , get disoriented in all the brouhaha , yet strangely seem not to mind that they are not sure which brother they are in love with . 
the scenes describing the boys' bumbling antics get stretched so thin we stop caring who chan is supposed to be in any given shot ( in several shots , in fact , even the make-up and hair people seem to forget which brother is which . ) . 
even chan's so-corny-it's-funny humor is off-kilter in this outing . 
some of the gags are so carefully innocuous they're annoying . 
a case in point : whenever anyone sees the brothers together , they fall to the ground in a dead faint . 
are we laughing yet ? 
as usual , the final showdown is the film's jewel , a tour de force display of chan' s agility and grace . 
never mind that it's not clear how the brothers end up fighting suited bad guys inside an automobile crash-testing facility . 
it's all good fun , but too little too late . 
perhaps chan's next movie should just be a collection of the last fight sequences of all of his movies . 
they could call it jackie chan's the final fight scenes , and everybody would go home happy . 
reviewed april 14 , 1999 at loews theaters white marsh , white marsh , md . 
"
"-1","the general's daughter will probably be the cleverest stupid film we'll see this year -- or perhaps the stupidest clever film . 
it's confusing to a critic when so much knuckleheaded plotting and ostentatious direction shares the screen with so much snappy dialogue and crisp character interaction . 
that , however , is what happens when legendary screenwriter william goldman takes a pass at an otherwise brutally predictable conspiracy thriller . 
the punched-up punch lines are ever on the verge of convincing you the general's daughter has a brain in its head , even as the remaining 75% of the narrative punches you in the face with its lack of common sense . 
our hero is warrant officer paul brenner , a brash investigator for the u . s . army's criminal investigation division . 
his latest case is the murder of captain elisabeth campbell ( leslie stefanson ) at a georgia base , the victim found tied to the ground after an apparent sexual assault and strangulation . 
complicating the case is the fact that capt . campbell is the daughter of general joe campbell ( james cromwell ) , a war hero and potential vice-presidential nominee . 
general campbell wants to keep the case out of the press , which gives brenner only the 36 hours before the fbi steps in . 
teamed with rape investigator sarah sunhill ( madeleine stowe ) -- who , coincidentally enough , once had a romantic relationship with brenner -- brenner begins uncovering dark secrets from the late captain's past that make the case ever more sordid . 
if only the sordidness were the worst of the general's daughter's problems . 
scenes of sexual degredation do linger much longer than necessary , their negligible dramatic value overwhelmed by filtered-light sleaze . 
director simon west likely thinks he's covered himself by juxtaposing these images of violence with sweet flowers , but all he does is prove himself dependent on visual cliches , which is the film's fatal flaw . 
it's a trend he continues for two hours , taking the story's few virtues and slapping a coat of moron-proof obviousness over them . 
characters who may ( wink wink ) turn out to be villains are photographed in ominous shadow ; cutaway inserts of the captain campbell's still-living face after the corpse is uncovered insure against five-minute attention spans . 
west just can't help himself from overdirecting every minute of the general's daughter . 
he even turns a scene of footage shown on cnn into an excuse for slow-fade edits . 
bubbling up from this overcooked stew are enough tasty lines to distract you from its smell . 
the slickest scene finds brenner squaring off with captain campbell's mentor , a psychological warfare expert named moore ( james woods ) . 
there's something invigorating about watching two smart actors playing smart characters firing honesty at one another . 
indeed , travolta gets to sink his teeth into dozens of choice lines based on his delight at provoking authority figures ( to the local sheriff of the georgia county : "" shouldn't you be out night-sticking the colored folk ? "" ) . 
even the lame device of brenner and sunhill's sexual history provides a few winning zingers . 
goldman's dialogue can serve up a bigger laugh than you'll find in most so-called comedies . 
dialogue , unfortunately , just isn't enough to make a quality script . 
it's difficult to take a movie about a criminal investigation seriously when the investigators are both too stupid to solve it sooner ( an idiotic inability to recognize the nature of the crime scene ) and too lucky for it to last any longer ( not one but two occasions where brenner catches a vital piece of evidence out of the corner of his eye ) . 
by the time the general's daughter wanders towards its over-wrought , psycho-in-the-rain finale , west's heavy hand has obliterated most of what made the film occasionally fun . 
it's silly and pretentious film-making , but at least it provides a giggle or five . 
goldman should tear the 15 decent pages out of this script and turn them into a stand-up routine . 
"
"-1","cradle will rock is the latest effort from director/actor tim robbins . 
while he may have had an oscar worthy film back in 1995 ( dead man walking ) , he gets a little overconfident and sloppy here . 
the story is confusing , and filled with many subplots , so i'll try my best and explain it as simply as possible . 
the film is based on a "" mostly "" true story about a federal theater in the 1930s , that produced a play ( the cradle will rock ) that apparently was offensive to some , so the government shuts it down . 
it's during the time of the depression , and all this theater wants to do is entertain and cheer up those who do not have jobs , or are poor . 
between this conflict lies what seems like 10 subplots , about those who work in theater , or those associated . 
also along the way are some other messages mashed together to create an even more overwhelming experience . 
tim robbin's just keeps piling on political views , and characters , that we just give up on the film , or in some cases walk out . 
for robbin's it may be a nice achievement , but to me it seemed more like a friendly get together with slightly more sophisticated dialogue , and fancy outfits . 
i thought the main reason for seeing the film would be for the outstanding cast , unfortunately are all uninteresting , except for a few . 
let me recap what each important character does , so please bear with me ( it's the least you can do , especially if you were considering seeing this ) . 
i'll begin with those involved with the play . 
there's orson welles ( angus macfadyen ) who of course is the director of the play , the producer john houseman ( cary elwes ) , marc blitzstein ( hank azaria ) the writer of the play , emily watson , a woman who gets her break by playing the main part in cradle will rock . 
outside the play there's the : ventriloquist ( bill murray ) who wants a relationship with a federal theater clerk ( joan cusack ) , another subplot involving a painter diego rivera ( ruben blades ) who's unhappy that his painting is too be destroyed by nelson rockefeller because he feels it to be an outrage ( john cusack ) . 
there's a few other actresses and actors who have their own stories ( susan sarandon , philip baker hall too name a few ) but those that i mentioned , were the most significant to the story . 
anyway , most of these talented hollywood stars were completely wasted , except for emily watson , who does another great job , and one of my personal favorite actors john cusack , who always delivers through thick and thin . 
now although most of the film was weak to say the least , there were some nice moments and some involving subjects , but all this is overblown . 
sure the free speech segment was a nice feature , but not when it becomes repetitive . 
the whole film is like this , and it's basically nothing but a headache . 
on the brighter side , tim robbin's direction was masterful . 
his camera direction seemed reminiscent to the works of paul thomas anderson's latest magnolia , only smoother in my opinion , but even that can't make a movie that much better . 
although it has it's moments ( not many of them , but they're there ) , cradle will rock stays true to it's title , because the cradle rocked too far and tipped over . 
"
"-1","disillusioned and trying to find the spice of life , richard ( leonardo dicaprio ) sets off for thailand . 
there he a meets crazed man by the name of daffy ( robert carlyle ) who gives him a map to a beach , a secret utopia , then commits suicide . 
richard sets off for this beach with his neighbors from this hotel , ? tienne ( guillaume canet ) and fran ? oise ( virginie ledoyen ) . 
once they get there the three discover a secret society existing on this beach , there richard falls for fran ? oise . 
this covers about half to two thirds of the movie and aside from the romantic element , which is solely a creation of hollywood , seems to hold to the original novel . 
the cinematography and general beauty of this part of the movie is breathtaking . 
i don't think anyone can argue that this movie is visually stunning . 
but that is were many things go wrong , darius khondji has totally outdone himself in doing the cinematography . 
though the script and the interpretation of the novel are quite lacking . 
the plot of the movie moves along at a decent pace for about half of the movie or there abouts . 
this is where the movie has some great potential , then the three travelers get the island and there is a turn for the better , yes folks i said better . 
now up to about two thirds of this movie its actually pretty good , nothing spectacular aside from the cinematography but it still has promise . 
this is where things start to degenerate to something that becomes almost un-watchable . 
there is even a 'video game' style sequence that borders on the disgusting , it doesn't make sense for the movie and just looks dumb in my opinion ( and i am hoping many other peoples ) . 
i am hoping that in my little rant i've made it abundantly clear that the movie is lacking quite seriously in plot and uneven pacing , so if you go see it and you don't like it because of this don't blame me . 
the character development was not up to par either ; i found the character of richard to be nothing more than a spoiled child . 
although there is a feeble attempt to make this whole story profound it fails and richard ( leo's character ) comes off as a wannabe philosopher . 
the character seems to be underdeveloped from the get go and seems to just do things for no apparent reason , granted some people are like this ( myself included ) but i nor anyone i know that is fairly random would ever do things of the sort this character does . 
the next point is that some of the really interesting characters are simply not developed enough . 
richard is obviously obsessed by fran ? oise at the early stages of the story , yet there is actually very little development along this story line . 
this i am sure contributes to the movie's lack of core plot and being unfocused . 
now , i shall move onto something a little better about the movie ( for all you cynics out there the movie did have a few good things about it ) . 
the cast and acting was passable at the very least , and i think that leonardo dicaprio actually did pretty well in the role of richard . 
mind you i think the rest of the cast that had some which had reasonably sized roles did equally well if not better . 
which begs the question why is leonardo paid so much ? 
 ( i think this is a topic all on its own so i won't get into it ) . 
but i like the fact that there was an international cast used , had only and american cast been used i can see this movie being horrible . 
the international flavor added a more global feel to the movie that made it that much more bearable . 
not to mention the movie is set in thailand and a global cast makes more sense . 
when all is said and done i liked the movie for the most part but the gaping inadequacies of the plot are unforgivable . 
i would not recommend this movie to anyone , the fact that i liked it has a lot to do with the cinematography and the sheer beauty of the movie not its plot or story . 
as it is the story tries to be much too philosophical and fails at its attempt . 
if you do end up going to see this movie be forewarned about its shortcomings . 
"
"-1","kate ( jennifer aniston ) is having some problems . 
it appears the twenty-eight year old is not happy with her slow progression up the company ladder , and her love life apparently leaves something to be desired . 
she learns that her problems are related , as the owner of her advertising agency , mr . mercer ( kevin dunn ) , explains to her that her single status does not bode well with the company . 
her freedom would make her more likely to leave the company , taking clients with her . 
a solution presents itself in nick ( jay mohr ) , a wedding videographer who kate meets through a coincidence and gets photographed with . 
kate's boss , darcy ( illeana douglas ) , uses the photograph to fabricate a wedding engagement between kate and nick . 
kate is at first repulsed by the idea , but after getting immediate positive results , she pursues it . 
her first task is to convince nick to go along with her plan . 
the actual plan consists of nick pretending to be her fianc ? . 
at a dinner with kate's bosses he will provoke a fight and they will break up . 
she meets nick to propose the plan . 
he accepts . 
kate's new status brings unexpected results in other areas . 
the office bad boy , sam ( kevin bacon ) , who wouldn't give kate the time of day , now does . 
now that she is engaged , he pursues an affair with her , as doing so would destroy her good girl image , hence sam's sudden interest . 
things start to fall apart for kate , as it becomes apparent that nick really likes her , and does not wish to break up with her . 
after some provoking nick does oblige , but problems continue for kate . 
it appears sam is no longer interested now that she is available . 
or maybe kate does like nick , but "" reconciliation "" will force her to admit her lies to her employer . 
adding to her mess is the constant prying of her mother ( olympia dukakis ) , who wants her to get married and settle down . 
there is a scene in this movie where jennifer aniston is ( from the waist up ) only wearing a bra . 
it made me chuckle because it is the only time in the movie when she actually wears one . 
there is enough cleavage in this movie to satisfy russ meyer . 
it's like the director said 'well , we know the story is formulaic and the performances aren't that great so , what the heck , let's show jennifer's assets as often and as uncovered as humanly possible to keep the pg rating . "" 
quite frankly it's insulting . 
i don't think aniston is a competent enough actress to carry a movie . 
she did a decent enough job in ed burns' "" she's the one "" because it was a smaller and supporting role , and she just doesn't deliver the goods effectively in this movie . 
her performance was not convincing . 
unfortunately , as far as romantic comedies go , this movie adds nothing new to the standard formula for these types of movies . 
the film is similar to "" my best friends wedding "" in a sense that the leading female character is actually quite vindictive and due her actions , gets no sympathy from me when things go awry . 
i didn't care for how quickly kate puts down nick's profession by explaining that videotaping weddings wasn't glamorous enough for her co-workers . 
at least "" my best friends wedding "" changed the formula a bit and had a somewhat surprise ending . 
no such luck with "" picture perfect "" . 
every plot occurrence can be spotted a mile away , including a couple that really made no sense . 
after everything kate had done to prove her loyalty to her company , why would she blindly throw it all away when she should have made sure that nick would even talk to her first , let alone consider a relationship ? 
was quitting her job a prerequisite to making amends with nick ? 
throw in the fact that i don't think nick and kate spent enough time together to even warrant that rash of a decision . 
i believe that kate liked him , but liked him so intensely that she was willing to throw her career away ? 
i doubt it . 
and what of the ending scene at a wedding where the entire congregation feels it necessary to stop everything and stare at the couple ? 
are mass groups of people simultaneously that interested in total strangers ? 
well , i guess of the congregation consists of movie extras and the strangers are the movies two lead stars , then that would make sense . 
picture perfect directed by glenn gordon caron 
kate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . jennifer aniston nick . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . jay 
mohr sam . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . kevin 
bacon mercer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . kevin 
dunn darcy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . illeana 
douglas rita . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . olympia 
dukakis 
written by randy turgeon , february 26 , 1998 . 
visit my movie reviews ! 
www . xtdl . com/~canran 
"
"-1","this review contains spoilers , but believe me , i don't say anything you can't guess 10 minutes into the movie . 
i * did * go into this one with high expectations . 
i had been exposed to media reports that this film would signify a departure from the slasher flicks . 
i sort of expected another exorcist or the shining . 
i even put aside my general rule of not seeing this type of film . 
boy , was i wrong ! 
another garbage slasher flick , the only difference being that * this * one has a story ! 
the story , you ask ? 
well , a scumball buys a chinese puzzle from a guy in an arab souk . 
he takes it home , somehow getting it past customs : - ) and starts fiddling with it in his attic . 
lo and behold , after he takes it apart , three demons appear and start taking him apart , but with meat hooks . 
when they're finished , his gizzards are hanging from the ceiling . 
they botch up their cleanup job , however , and manage to leave his heart ( or some gland ; i didn't really recognize the organ ) under a floorboard . 
the guy's brother and his brother's wife appear at the door soon after , and decide to move in . 
they throw away scumball's belongings , and set up house . 
turns out that wife is a bit of a nympho , and screwed around with scumball right before her marriage . 
she starts having some wild hallucinations . 
later , hubby spills some blood on the attic floorboards ( slow-mo special effects of the buckets of blood hitting the ground--all from the tiny cut on his hand ) . 
said blood is eagerly sucked up by scumball's organ . 
the organ grows into a thing that requires yet more blood in order to complete the regeneration into a really ugly thing . 
it establishes mind contact with wife , who agrees to help him get more blood , because she really wants to be screwed again . 
so , she helps him kill three businessmen . 
scumball , at this time , gradually gets his strength back and grows all his organs back . 
problem is , he doesn't have any skin , and even after three or four corpses , still doesn't get any skin . 
he finally gets some , though , but strangely enough , he ends up looking like his brother . 
guess they couldn't get the original actor back . 
who knows . 
scumball ( whose name is frank ) is not a nice guy . 
he describes his torture by the demons fondly , as the "" ultimate pleasure and pain , since at that level there is no difference between the two . "" 
somehow , i don't see getting torn apart by 90 fish- and meat-hooks a lot of fun . 
this guy is * so * bad ( "" how bad * is * he ? "" ) , 
 * so * bad that the * rats * cower in a corner in fear . 
for good reason , too ; he crucifies two of them for fun , and carves a third while the nympho's horsing around with hubby . 
anyway . hubby's daughter ( who , if course , is not * wife's * daughter ) starts to suspect something is wrong after she sees wife going into the attic with one of her johns and the ensuing screams . 
the dumb bimbo meets scumball , and is not impressed . 
she manages to escape with the chinese puzzle , and brings out the demons . 
at any rate , the demons are pissed off that they screwed up their cleanup ; they're normally quite meticulous about that type of thing . 
the story boils down to the demons trying to correct their mistake . 
the demons are not , however , the good guys . 
the dumb bimbo's the good guy . 
she somehow not only gets them to take care of frank , but also banishes them to hell or oblivion , we're not too sure which . 
not too shabby for someone with single-digit iq . 
this is basically a "" bad jinn "" story . 
it is an * awful * movie . 
awful acting , bad focus in the photography , many scenes of skin being penetrated by meathooks , which is really unrealistic , and looks like the latex that it is . 
continuity ? 
who cares . 
acting ? 
 * terrible * . 
script ? 
horrible . 
sounds canned . 
unrealistic . 
story is so-so , but the impact is lost long , long before the film ends . 
i do think the * rat * acting was quite good . 
i have never seen rats look afraid . 
they should get nominated for an award . 
really good acting there , the best in the movie . 
 "" the envelope for best furry rodent , please . . . "" 
a "" "" rating would be far too generous . 
a "" 1/10 "" rating ( or -4 in the -4 to +4 rating system ) is far more accurate . 
this movie is so bad that people in the audience were laughing , chortling at the bad acting and crummy dialog . 
i can see this film turning into the next rocky horror picture show . 
people were getting so fed up they were yelling warnings up to the characters on the screen . 
had to have something to do . 
dumb , dumb , dumb movie . 
i was embarrassed that i spent money to see it . 
it goes without saying that i disagree with the other reviews on the board that attempt to review the film for itself . 
lots of slime and red-dyed corn syrup does not constitute "" horror , "" in my opinion . 
"
"-1"," "" have you ever heard the one about a movie so bad that it made a guy run out of the theatre screaming ? "" 
obviously the producers at columbia tristar did not think that we suffered enough from the first installment , and so to finish us utterly , they have now released "" urban legends : final cut "" . 
this is another "" scream "" -like feature , consisting merely from the recycled materials of rip-offs from the most pointless movies of all time . 
amy ( jennifer morrison ) is a film student who is attending a film school filled with uninspired film students who do not have a clue about what to do . 
but just as she reaches the halfway mark of her final semester at prestigious university's film program -- where each year's best thesis production takes the coveted hitchcock prize , a virtual one-way ticket to hollywood success -- she has a chance encounter with campus security guard reese ( loretta devine ) , whose tale of a series of murders based on urban legends at another university inspires amy to try her hand at a fictional thriller organized along similar lines . 
soon enough , fake -- and real -- blood starts to flow , and amy is being chased around by scary killer , while her cast and crew get slain , one by one . 
is the culprit the original urban legends murderer , just some random psycho , ! 
a member of the faculty , one of her competitors for the hitchcock , or is there something even more stupid going on ? 
this is another one of those tiring , pointless teen slasher flicks : neither scary , funny , or interesting . 
it simply lacks the ability and the story to entertain . 
the body counts and screams continue to grow , as the weak level of intelligence sinks rapidly . 
in fact watching films like that after having watched "" scary movie "" is impossible keeping a serious face . 
several times i tried to prevent myself from laughing , without succeeding . 
and then i realized that practically the whole theatre was laughing . 
it's the same thing that has been told and told and told over and over again as if it was the revelation of the century . 
how many times must we tolerate the same clich ? s that have haunted the slasher genre since its birth ? 
it has been so many films about masked killers that most of us have developed an allergy for them . 
they are the most stupid , meaningless , predictable and soulless films in existence . 
however , director john ottman manages to make "" urban legends : final cut "" into one of the worst achievements of this godforsaken genre . 
what was done with a sense of redemption for past failures and irony in "" scream "" , ottman takes seriously . 
for that reason alone , it is worth a look , just to realize how bad a movie can be . 
it's tough to find comparisons for such an achievement , and we have to dig in ancient history to find a movie that would match its intellect . 
even movies like "" lost in space "" and "" mission to mars "" seem spectacular in its shadow . 
we have not seen such waste of t ! 
ime and resources since "" showgirls "" ( 1995 ) . 
no matter how hard i tried to find positive elements in this so called production , i came up with nothing , except the way the killer was dressed . 
here i feel that i have to compliment the costume designers trysha bakker and marie-sylvie deveu , that have wisely replaced the well known scream-mask with a very elegant fencing mask . 
jennifer morrison ( "" stir of echoes "" ) is all right , and the other actors' best achievement is keeping a straight face when pronouncing the words from the script . 
in fact the only thing that is terrifying about this film ( with the exception of its screenplay ) is its portray of film schools . 
if these graduates will be the directors of the future , then hollywood's golden days are over . 
rumors are already spreading through the internet that columbia tristar is already developing a third installment . 
let's just hope and pray that it's just an urban legend . 
"
"-1"," "" we are grateful that we have the songs of grace chan to comfort us . "" 
starring lee kang-sheng , yang kuei-mei directed by tsai ming-liang written by tsai and yang ping-ying cinematography by liao peng-jung 
taiwan , 24/12/99 . 
the millenium approaches . 
an incessant downpour batters an unnamed city . 
sectors of the city are being sealed , quarantined due to the onset of a mysterious virus . 
the virus causes people to act like insects : they crawl about on all fours , hide from bright lights , huddle in damp corners . 
the water supply to the quarantined zones will be cut off in a week's time . 
residents are advised to evacuate the area , asap . 
this premise--kafka by way of cronenberg--is the background for the hole , which could have been a great movie , but , sadly , ends up as a waste of good ideas . 
the quick sketch above suggests a dark , absurd , hallucinatory near-future parable of life in the late 20th century ; in execution , however , it is nothing like that . 
the virus , the evacuation , the visual possiblities of the deluge : these are all relegated to the background . 
instead , the hole focuses on the lives--for want of a better word--of a man ( lee kang-sheng ) and a woman ( yang kuei-mei ) who live in the same apartment building , and who have no personalities . 
the entire movie taks place in settings that are uniformly ugly and sterile : the charmless rooms and corridors of a post-industrial apartment complex , photographed to look as dim and dingy as possible . 
it's a vivid setting , but an unappealing one , especially with the monotonous hiss of falling rain and the gurgle of drainage pipes in the background . 
the man lives in the apartment directly above the woman's . 
one day , a repairman investigating a leak leaves a small hole in the floor of the man's living room , opening into the ceiling of the woman's living room . 
this hole--symbol of the solitary opening in the character's lonely , compartmented lives--allows them to interact in unusual ( and mostly non-verbal ) ways . 
example : the man , suffering from the onset of the virus ( or so i assume--everything is obscure in this movie ) vomits through the hole . 
the woman , wandering around in the dark , accidentally puts her hand on his vomit , and then cleans it up . 
this is what passes for meaningful communication . 
and they say romance is dead . 
much of the film does not even focus on their interactions , such as they are . 
there is almost no dialogue and we learn next to nothing about these people . 
they are ciphers . 
instead , we are treated to long takes in which we witness their miserable lives ; we watch , for instance , as the woman boils some water , pours it onto some noodles , then eats the noodles . 
 ( this is as fascinating as it sounds . ) 
offered as counterpoint--or perhaps relief--to these dreary sequences are a series of musical numbers , fantasies in which the woman lip-synchs to pop songs by grace chan ( popular , so i'm told , in 1950s' china ) . 
she prances around in grimy hallways and grungy stairwells , incronguously lit by cheerfully bright spotlights . 
sometimes , in these fantasies , she is joined by the man . 
these scenes are presumably intended to be bright and fanciful , sharply contrasting the dreariness of reality , but they fail . 
when the man and the woman dance , it seems half-hearted and listless . 
astaire and rogers this is not . 
even in imagination , these people are numb , weary , boring . 
the hole is part of the 'collection 2000' series , a group of films commissioned by french tv station la sept arte on the subject of the millenium . 
others include canada's last night , brazil's midnight , and american hal hartley's the book of life . 
the book of life is the only other one that i have seen , and it is infinitely superior to the taiwanese entry . 
witty , energetic , humane , it makes the the hole seem ( ahem ) empty . 
american movies with nothing to say try to disguise their lack of content with flashy movements , quick cuts , superficial emotions . 
foreign movies with nothing to say do what the hole does : they point the camera at something of minimal interest for unbelievably long periods of time , and call it art . 
the hole is self-evidently a film about alienation , and perhaps director tsai ming-liang wants the audience to share in his characters' alienation . 
if so , he succeeds . 
perhaps it is a challenge : he dares us to enjoy this movie , despite his best attempts to ensure that we don't . 
if it was a challenge , i wasn't up for it . 
"
"-1","what happens when you put martin lawrence in a fat suit in real life ? 
you get martin lawrence in a coma ( the comedian thought he was getting fat , so he put on numerous layers of heavy clothing and went jogging in 100 degree heat , ending up in a coma ) . 
so what happens when you put martin lawrence in a fat suit in the movies ? 
you get an audience in a coma . 
in big momma's house , lawrence plays a fbi agent who's a master of disguises . 
when a naughty , naughty man escapes from jail and seeks out his former girlfriend ( the very sexy nia long . . . 
the only thing worth looking at in this movie ) , she flees to georgia to stay with her rather large southern aunt "" big momma "" ( ella mitchell ) . 
the fbi follows her in order to recover the large sum of money stolen in the bank robbery that sent the naughty man to jail . 
however , big momma is called away on an emergency . 
sensing that they could lose their only chance to capture the criminal , lawrence goes undercover as big momma . 
and let the comedy begin ! 
big momma's house is the definition of a "" gimmick "" movie if there ever was one . 
the plot can basically be summed up as "" martin lawrence dresses up as a fat woman "" . . . 
and even that description is too wordy . 
you can just see this script plotted out on a chalkboard with martin lawrence/fat woman in the middle of the board with a big circle around it , and all sorts of clich ? d , "" humorous "" situations pointing to it . 
fat woman plays basketball ! 
fat woman takes a dump ! 
fat woman kung fu ! 
well they left one off the board . . . 
movie critic slips into coma ! 
paul giamatti ( private parts , the negotiator ) plays lawrence's partner and as much as i enjoy his work , even he can't inject life into this lifeless comedy . 
hell , the greatest performers on the planet couldn't make this material work . . . 
it's just that awful . 
"
"-1","blatantly borrowing elements from 1993's "" like water for chocolate "" and 1991's "" the butcher's wife , "" "" simply irresistible "" attempts to be a whimsical romantic comedy but , more often than not , comes off as laughable , leaving you to wonder why rising star sarah michelle gellar ( t . v . 's "" buffy , the vampire slayer "" ) would choose such an obviously inept film project to waste her time on . 
things get off to a bad start right from the onset as amanda ( sarah michelle gellar ) , a young woman who runs her late family's struggling new york restaurant , runs into a mystery man who forces a bushel of crabs on her and then vansihes into thin air . 
while out shopping , she also meets tom ( sean patrick flanery ) , a charming , handsome man , who happens to be planning a ritzy restaurant for the department store he works for , and later when he decides to drop by her dive , called southern cross , for lunch , she somehow makes a delicious crab dish for him , even though she is known to not be a very good chef . 
suddenly , amanda finds her restaurant , on the edge of foreclosure , rejuvenate to life as customer begin to swarm for her food , which strangely causes everyone immediate jubilation when it hits their mouths . 
are amanda and tom destined to be together ? 
and is it not just because of the magical food , but because they really , truly like each other ? 
and what exactly is going on with the food she is making ? 
does it have anything to do with that pesky crab she got that sits on the shelf in the kitchen somehow assisting her in her food preparation ? 
 "" simply irresistible "" is a ridiculous and just plain goofy romantic fantasy that's as flimsy as a slice of bologna . 
it takes one joke---that people who eat the food are taken aback by it in most unusual ways---and recycles it over and over again until the film has reached an appropriate running time of 95 minutes . 
add in a music montage every ten minutes ( these are actually the best scenes in the movie , which certainly tells you something about the film itself ) , and what you've got is an utterly empty , if not necessarily boring , excursion . 
the cast of "" simply irresistible "" is fairly good , but it is the supporting characters who are the most interesting . 
patricia clarkson ( 1998's "" high art , "" in which she played a drugged-out lesbian ) is a standout as tom's colleague , and is thankfully given a few funny lines of dialogue . 
also of note is larry gilliard jr . , as amanda's cooking assistant and buddy , who is allowed to create a seemingly full character out of only a handful of scenes . 
of the main stars , sarah michelle gellar is fine , but really does often look like she's struggling through the unmistakably clumsy material , and if sean patrick flanery plans on keeping a film career in the future , he has certainly got to pick better projects than this . 
the bottom line is that "" simply irresistible "" is the exact opposite of its deprophesized title , and when the movie got to the point where the characters began to float in mid-air ( an unamusing plot device that was repeated in the stupid last scene ) , my mind checked out from the characters and the romance . 
when i think about it in hindsight , i should have checked out in the very first scene , where the point of the action was for gellar to crawl under tables looking for a runaway mechanical crab . 
now , that certainly is what i'd call magical ! 
"
"-1","i wont even pretend that i have seen the other 3 alien films . 
i saw glimpses of alien and aliens and fragments of alien 3 , but i have by no means actually sat down and watched any of them . 
so take my opinion from an unbiased and impartial perspective : alien resurrection is not worth the large bag of lollies i was munching into after a hard days work . 
i didnt just dislike it so much because the plot was awful ; most of the acting was very average or the special effects got tiresome after 5 minutes of painful viewing  but also the fact that every tedious ingredient thrown in attempts to give this pointless dribble some meaning . 
sigourney weaver , whos role in alien earned her an academy award nomination , plays the character of ripley ,  who died fighting against extraterrestrial scum in alien 3 . 200 years later , scientists use a sample of blood found at the site of her death to recreate ripley - including the alien that was stuck inside her . 
in no time they remove the alien from her body and separate the two ; yet ripley is now not completely human , possessing strange amounts of strength and being able to withhold greater pain than a normal being . 
im sure someone can explain exactly why this is so , but for now well just ignore it and move on . 
why , you ask , would ripley and the alien inside her be recreated ? 
well , the smart little lab researchers believed that they would be able to discover many advancements in science from studying the alien creature . 
these were the same people who said they could control the alien and that their was no danger in their research . 
they ( yawn ) were wrong . 
it doesnt take a genius to figure out that the rest of the film is a continuous cat and mouse chase between the humans who die off one by one and the aliens who open their mouths on every possible occasion to show off their frightfully scary un-flossed teeth . 
theres a little saying that goes something like this : if youre going to make a bad film , do it well .  
i have seen plenty of disappointing and underachieving movies , but they are not the ones that really bother me . 
alien resurrection , a good example of a film that really gets up my nose , is not so much a discouraging experience but an off putting one . 
there is no way to describe why the australian ma rating was given to this film other than unnecessary and repulsive gore , which attempts to distract us from the wandering-but-not-going-anywhere plot . 
in one scene my stomach churned as i witnessed a mawkish looking alien put its hand on a characters head and literally ripped most of his face off . 
another one featured ripley sticking a knife through her hand just to impress someone she was talking to . 
fair enough if it were in a horror film or even if it bared any significance to the story , but this is unfortunately not the case , and this sort of bizarre gore is inexcusable . 
if you think im struggling to find one good aspect about the film , then you thought right . 
one exciting scene is a credit ( and the only part remotely worth seeing ) to the film , in which an alien chases two men ( one a cripple ) up a tall ladder with interesting results . 
but of course after that thrilling scene alien resurrection had no problem in returning to its pathetically low standard , and ends up crashing into the shores of movie dullness more often than japanese kamikaze jet fighters fall off their skis . 
so in a film where the one liners come as bad as earth man , what a shit hole and the primary means for one mans strategic attack is to bounce bullets off walls to hit an opponent , its no wonder why alien : resurrection turned out to be as off putting and clumsy as it is . 
oh , and in case youre wondering about my bag of lollies  the less i enjoy a film , the more i eat . 
so all the lollies were gone in 15 minutes ; but however empty the bag turned out to be , it was still a long way ahead of the movie 
"
"-1","synopsis : lifelong friends rafe ( affleck ) and danny ( hartnett ) join the us air force and are stationed at pearl harbor , hawaii . 
rafe goes to england to fight alongside british pilots and is seemingly killed in action . 
danny falls in love with rafe's girlfriend , evelyn ( beckinsale ) , but rafe survives and returns to confront his former friend . 
meanwhile , the japanese sneak attack is imminent . . . 
review : "" pearl harbor "" is a perfect example of movies as product rather than as art . 
it is little more than a crassly-calculated attempt to woo the masses , enticing them with big stars , big effects , and a big setting -- but no heart . 
it is difficult to criticise the actors , because they do everything the movie demands of them . 
sadly , this amounts to barely more than reciting dialogue of such sheer banality that it makes one eager to see the script randall wallace wrote with his right hand at the same time as he was writing "" pearl harbor "" with his left . 
the plot here is pure cliche , and the wartime setting simply a convenient backdrop . 
there is no genuine exploration of what pearl harbor meant to the united states , and no insight into its vital role in inciting that country to join world war ii . 
instead , there is just an assembly-line love triangle , some empty patriotic rhetoric , and a laughable attempt to placate japanese viewers via the inclusion of some reticent imperial commanders ( when one intones , "" i fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant "" , i nearly fell out of my seat ) . 
to the movie's credit , it does include a fantastic portrayal of the attack itself , an exciting and dizzying hour which plunges viewers into the war . 
if only the remaining two hours had been crafted with such skill , perhaps this memorial day non-event would have been worth watching . 
"
"-1","this is a film that i was inclined to like at the outset : the two main characters had been involved with the fine television drama st . 
elsewhere for several years , and i had understood that the director/screenwriter had written for the show on occasion also . 
i am sorry to report that the results were not up to my expectations , nor were they satisfactory . 
if i had to list a reason why . . . . 
but that would be getting ahead of myself ; besides , it's not immediately clear , as there are so many problems with the film . 
adam arkin plays a grade-school teacher who is sardonic , cynical , and somewhat abrasive , but a good teacher . 
he spends his lunches playing basketball by himself on a nearby court . 
one day , he meets a drifter ( david morse , who plays jack morrison on st . 
elsewhere ) in the park , and inveigles him in a game of one-on-one basketball . 
morse turns out to be good , and a friendship slowly develops between the two , as their respective professions progress on the screen--arkin's teaching , and morse's selling of paper flowers to passing motorists . 
so far , my major complaint would be the lack of dialogue , and the constant intrusion of the musical soundtrack . 
good music to be sure , but it doesn't replace the dialogue for setting the mood or telling the story--it makes the film somewhat minimalistic , a technique i rarely admire . 
suddenly their friendship is interrupted by morse's introduction to a fellow teacher of arkin's , a woman arkin has long admired from afar , but it too reticent to approach . 
it appears that she begins to admire morse ( who enjoys here attentions , but isn't sure what to do about it--she doesn't realize that he is a drifter , and knows nothing about his past ) , and this causes friction between arkin and almost everyone else . 
until then , i had only a vague dissatisfaction with the film . 
the conclusion is where it begins to evolve into a full-fledged failure . 
the woman , at least to me , appeared to be fairly shallow ; i didn't realize how shallow until her final scene with arkin , where she reveals that she has been trying to make arkin jealous by her attentions to morse . 
somehow , this is made to appear as if it is arkin's fault , and it is left with him feeling somehow victorious that he's gotten such a find of girlfriend . 
frankly , dropping her on the spot would have seemed the most civilized action arkin could make ; punching her in the mouth not the least . 
after this , the childish confrontation between morse and arkin at the end seems almost natural . 
if i had to summarize a major gripe , it's that this is a story spread too thin , that creates semi-likable characters at the outset , and then suddenly jerks them into being 16-year-olds at the last moment . 
it might be true-to-life with some people ; but that doesn't mean * i * have to like it . 
i don't . 
 . 
avoid . 
"
"-1","i love movies . 
i really do . 
every time i watch great movies like goodfellas ( 1990 ) or raiders of the lost ark ( 1981 ) , a tear comes to my eye due to the awesome talent , skill and entertainment that is on display . 
even lower grade films such as the naked gun 33 1/3 ( 1994 ) or ghostbusters ii ( 1988 ) while not exactly brilliantly well made , are certainly not a waste of celluloid and present entertainment value . 
then there's my favourite martian , the exact opposite of what a movie should be : a hurried , poorly written and acted movie with one goal , to make money . 
disney , ever since the lion king ( 1994 ) have lost their magic touch , but this dross just shows how far disney have sunk . 
christopher lloyd plays a martian who crash lands in front of t . v reporter's tim o'hara car ( daniels ) , and soon tim finds the martian in his home , trying to recover and fix his spaceship . 
along with his 'zoot' spacesuit , voiced by wayne knight , must fix his spaceship before it explodes , and also try to stop his identity being revealed to the public , firstly by o'hara , but later by rival t . v presenter brace channing ( hurley ) , by calling himself tim's 'uncle martin . ' 
'laughter' is supposed to arise from the 'comical' events , but never does . 
many bad films have good intentions , but my favourite martian doesn't appear to try to provide any entertainment . 
filled to the brim with wham bang special effects , my favourite martian offers little more than some nice eye candy . 
christopher lloyd mugs his way through the entire movie , i've never seen a man pull a face for 93 minutes until now . 
jeff daniels plays 'staple nice guy' and his role is useless . 
his performance is incredibly lazy , although his paperthin character doesn't deserve more than the performance he gives . 
darryl hannah looks as pretty as ever , but her role is somewhat , erm , limited . 
hurley mistakes 'acting' for 'shouting and looking like a twit' and wins the david wilcock award for 'most irritating , godawful performance in a moving picture . ' 
way to go liz ! 
for the supporting cast , disney manage to assemble every character actor out there , during the film i was going 'he was the guy in . . . ah . . er . . . ' 
before finally giving up and switching off . 
another major setback is the staple 'comedy sidekick . ' 
unfortunately , the writers ( sherri stoner and deanna oliver , if anyone cares ) forget that a comedy sidekick needs to be 'funny . ' 
instead , they deliver zoot , the martians deeply unfunny sidekick . 
although meant to be a manic character no doubt , every line that comes out of his 'neck' is a dud . 
a real dud . 
citizen kane delivers more laughs a minute than his hell spawn piece of polyester . 
even the kids in the audience were insulted by this character : not one child even bothered to smirk . 
it's a nice special effect , though . 
another problems with this comedy are the gags themselves . 
or rather , the lack of them . 
my favourite martian reaches a new level of toilet humour : it goes past the bowl , down the pipe and into the sewer . 
now , toilet humour can be funny , as dumb and dumber ( 1994 ) humorously showed . 
but here , characters farting , belching and almost getting crapped on ( literally ) is not 'amusing . ' 
it's insulting . 
there's one good gag right before the credits , but it appears the guy who wrote that gag tragically died and his unfunny twin continued . 
either that , or they were hoping that easy to please six year olds wouldn't mind the fact that his movie is beaten by men at work in the funny stakes . 
yes , men at work . 
yowza ! 
the fact that a lot of money was pumped into this film , and that they actually got people to agree to be in this film just depresses me even more . 
there are thousands of brilliant films out there that can't get distribution , yet trash like this gets released nation-wide with ease . 
thankfully , as soon as it makes it's money , it will never be seen again , and my favourite martian will end up where the two lead characters do near the end of the movie : down the toilet . 
"
"-1","i looked at the "" internet movie database "" 's awards section for this film , and found that this was nominated for a golden globe for "" best picture ( drama ) . "" 
anyone who's seen this film can back me up on this : this is the worst of the "" great "" disaster films , and that's not really saying a lot for this film . 
 "" earthquake "" is basically notable because it originally included some theatre thing where the theatre shook when the big earthquake occured . 
on video , it's a bland and slow-moving film which gives us a bunch of different characters ( the disaster film requisite ) , then brings them together in the struggle against the big disaster . 
while this worked in , say , "" the towering inferno , "" it doesn't here for one single reason : we don't care about any of the characters . 
the film gives us charlton heston ( in one of many crap 70s films he made , including "" skyjacked "" and that classic , "" soylent green "" ) as a rich man married to ava gardner , who is having a little affair with a young single mom ( genieveve bujold ) ; a renegade police officer on suspension ( george kennedy , in his least humored performance ) ; in the second weirdest subplot , a motorcycle stuntman ( richard roundtree , right after his "" shaft "" thing ) whose big stunt is he goes on a little track that goes upside down ( yea , snore ) ; and the weirdest subplot : a military man/bag boy at a grocery store who has a little thing for buxom victoria principal , and eventually gets vengeance on those guys who made fun of his hair ( ! ! ! ) . 
in smaller subplots , there's a pointless bit about people who are flying over l . a . ( the city in the film , by the way ) , one who's playing cards and married to a boring non-acting husband ( you think this one can go nowhere ? 
guess again . he gets interested in the final frames ) ; there's genieveve bujold's moron son , who has a little adventure with wires ; and for some much-needed comedy , there's walter matthau ( billed as walter mutha . . . . 
- the only laugh in the film ) , as a wild drunkard , who's big moment is a dance he does at a critical time . 
as for the actual "" earthquake , "" it's rather a let-down . 
there's a full hour of character-setups , none of which is interesting , then about 10 minutes of shaking , crumbling , and a bit where a house almost falls on bujold ( narrowly missing ) . 
this film needed that whole theatre-shaking : they needed to wake everybody up because they were so bored . 
there's little suspense following the quake , although this film tries for it . 
there's an adventure in a crumbling high-rise office building , the wires with the kid , and the movement of people who are all injured . 
but none of these are all-too suspenseful . 
the finale with the heston/gardner/bujold love triangle is ended in a basic flip-of-the-coin bit , which brings out a big let-down . 
and there's no real finale . 
even "" volcano "" ended nicely , and that movie really sucked . 
not only is it hokey , but you don't care about any character . 
who cares if heston dies ? 
who cares if he choses bujold or gardner ( although i would have chosen gardner , mainly on the basis that she can actually act ) ? 
who cares if richard roundtree makes money on his stupid "" stunt ? "" 
who cares if that idiot kid falls to his death on some wires ? 
and who cares about that whole plane spiel ? 
if anything , "" earthquake "" is worth a viewing for the same reason "" glen or glenda ? "" 
is . 
i mean , i laughed at this more than i did at "" bio dome . "" 
but that's another story ( and review ) . 
in short , "" earthquake "" gives disaster pics a bad name . 
"
"-1","the formula is simple . 
trap a varied group of people on an isolated location , then pop in a seemingly unstoppable monster to kill them one by one . 
these have been the successful ingredients for many good films ( the thing , alien , aliens , and tremors to name a few ) . 
so , why is it that so many films following this recipe end up pathetically bad ? 
 ( see the relic for a particularly putrid example . ) 
perhaps it is simply too easy to forget the necessary binding ingredient : effort and ideas . 
deep rising meets these two requirements part way , but not enough to salvage the film . 
treat williams is finnegan , the leader of a small boat crew who hire out their services ( and their boat ) for any activity . . . no 
questions asked . 
this time , however , they may have gone too far . 
their passengers , led by the ominous wes studi , are the type of multi-national terrorist squads usually only seen in die hard films . 
and their cargo . . . let's 
just say it has very high explosive potential . 
what is the target of these thieves ? 
why , the argonauticus , of course , a high tech luxury cruise yacht on its maiden voyage . 
but something else is hunting the argonauticus . . . something 
ancient and deadly . 
by the time the thieves arrive , nearly everyone on board the ship has been killed . 
and now the creature senses fresh meat ! 
so , you have the thieves and their mercenary boat crew , joining forces with the surviving passengers ( including the ship owner canton ( anthony heald ) , and a thief with less lofty goals , trillian ( famke janssen ) ) against the terror from the deep . 
and the monster gets to pick them off one by one . 
fortunately for the creature , this particular band of criminals happens to be the dumbest the world can offer . 
why else would they indulge in petty squabbling while they watch their friends become fish food . 
if there's a more clarion call for unity , i don't know what it might be . 
it's pretty easy to guess who will get killed off when . 
there are no surprises in that the most interesting characters seem to last until the end . 
for the most part , the watery tentacles seem to be acting on the audience's impulses to get rid of the most boring characters first . 
 ( although i wonder if the filmmakers might have extended djimon hounsou's life a bit if they knew this would be released so soon after his acclaim for amistad . ) 
treat williams is a passable hero , and famke janssen does her best julia roberts impersonation . 
but while wes studi and anthony heald are particularly slimy , very little of the rest of the company stand out in any way . 
the biggest treat in the film , however , has to be pantucci , kevin j . o'connor's whining engine-boy , under finnegan's employ . 
his constant quips may be a bit over-written , but they manage to capture the same vein of nerve-addled humor that bill paxton delivered as hudson in aliens ( or todd graff as hippie in the abyss , for that matter ) . 
it's just a stock part ( the comic-relief character ) , but it almost makes this tired alien clone bearable . 
as far as the monster goes , although the cgi is done well , the creature has no logical consistency . 
think back to the great ( or even just good ) movie monsters . 
they all had a set of "" rules "" about what they could do , and how and why they would do it . 
part of the joy of those films was slowly discovering , along with the heroes , just what those rules are . 
the tentacle monster in deep rising doesn't have a set of rules . . . 
or if it does , not a very good one . 
it merely eats ( or drinks , as the case may be ) , and there is no rhyme or reason for what it does in order to do so . 
the film never explains why the argonauticus is attacked in the first place . 
it simply happens . 
the action scenes are decent , but few are noteworthy . 
the film definitely does suffer from its proximity to titanic . 
deep rising's peril in the water scenes pale next to cameron's ( but can you really blame them ) . 
unfortunately , deep rising's efforts are more on par with speed 2 . 
on the plus side , however , the film's closing image shows some promise for a potentially interesting ( but unlikely ) sequel . 
perhaps you'd be better off waiting for that one . 
"
"-1","the thirteenth floor is a bland , obligatory exercise in genre film-making . 
if i hadn't recently watched the matrix and open your eyes -- both of which are similar but far superior -- i might have been a little nicer to this picture . 
craig bierko makes an adequate hero as douglas hall , the rich co-creator of a perfect human world simulation who is suddenly blamed for the murder of his boss ( armin mueller-stahl ) . 
everything that was subtle and smart about the previously mentioned films is battered over our heads in this one , and characters stare at each other for maddeningly-long periods of time and refuse to communicate on any realistic level . 
the acting is okay , but the film suffers from every logical flaw one could think of , and features a script ( co-penned by director josef rusnak ) loaded with cliches and stock characters . 
there are individual scenes and ideas that work -- i like the thought of a sentient computer program -- but none of the film's strengths are recognized to any meaningful degree . 
producer roland emmerich , based on this and his previous directorial efforts , seems hell-bent on bringing us the ultimate standard in mediocre science-fiction . 
"
"-1","my giant begins with a monologue that's more funny than not and a distinctive `princess bride , ' medieval fairy-tale-in-the- ? 90s feel . 
i was pleasantly surprised how sharp the comedy was , with very funny scenes occurring on a movie set in romania where talent agent sammy ( billy crystal ) is visiting a client and in the monastery where sammy ends up after being mysteriously saved when he accidentally plunges his car into a stream . 
and when sammy meets max , his giant , mysterious savior played by gheorghe muresan , there is magic in the air ; albeit it a bit goofy , i loved every minute of it . 
the film , of course , plays on the size difference between the two , and at times you would almost swear it must be special effects . 
i particularly enjoyed a shot of sammy dangling his legs from a max-sized chair as the two face each over an enormous table and eat from oversized bowls and spoons . 
i also liked jere burns' ( from tv's `something so right' ) performance as the director of the film in romania . 
at this point , the primary flaw in the film is that gheorghe muresan is incredibly hard to understand , particularly during his fast-paced first scene . 
it is unfortunate that the script required him to speak quickly right out of the gate , as i did understand him more as the film continued and i became accustomed to his speech . 
however , about the time muresan becomes coherent , the characters head to new york and the film takes a dive . 
off the high board . 
suddenly , we are expected to believe sammy is a do-whatever-it-takes slime ball . 
up until this point he was pursuing his own interests to be sure , but he didn't come off as a desperate jerk . 
if he had , the first scenes could never have been so lighthearted and magical . 
but now , in new york , we are further introduced to his neglected wife and son , and his character is desperate enough to involve max in a disturbing giant vs . midgets wrestling match , which i found quite unpleasant and jarring within the framework of the film . 
indeed , many scenes stuck out of this film like incorrectly placed puzzle pieces . 
this includes the scenes featuring steven seagal , when sammy gets max a role in a big , hollywood movie filming in las vegas . 
while i enjoyed seeing seagal poke fun at himself , the scenes appeared to exist solely because of his participation , rather than because the film demanded it . 
and the audience is required to take a huge leap to believe that max would win the role based on his quotations of shakespeare . 
at this point i found myself thinking , `we're supposed to believe that someone would cast this guy in a film ? ' 
then i realized he was , and i was watching it . 
in the final third , the film undergoes another transformation , this time to unbridled sentimentality . 
note : major plot points are revealed in this and the final paragraph . 
max went to america because sammy promised to reunited him with his childhood love , lillianna , who hasn't seen him since he was a normal-sized kid . 
her refusal to see max ( unbeknownst to him ) leads us to an awkward `ends justify the means' scene as sammy's wife serena , played nicely by kathleen quinlan , poses as lillianna . 
i found this scene offensive . 
not only did it rely on deception to induce warm , fuzzy feelings from the audience , it reduced max to someone we should pity and coddle , which i thought was quite undeserved . 
i think max could have handled the truth , gratuitous illness and all . 
late in the film we learn max , and in fact all giants , have a heart condition which shortens their lives considerably . 
this could be an enlightening revelation , but the film seemingly presents it only to justify sammy's transformation into a caring , sensitive guy -- and hey , a great dad and husband , too ! 
`my giant' suffers from a poorly constructed story line and undeveloped characters whose actions are determined by plot points rather than their own internal persuasions . 
a stronger story with more room for character growth might have been possible if the focus was on max's struggle to be accepted and cast in movies instead of sammy's struggles to get money and become a better person . 
in this scenario , max's illness could have been a integral part of the film not a story motivator . 
sentiment and emotion would have followed naturally . 
instead , we're apparently not supposed to like sammy until the end , but we're not allowed to focus on max . 
crystal and muresan give adequate and at times enjoyable performances , but in the end , `my giant' left me feeling like i'd been fed gruel from a giant spoon . 
"
"-1","alexandre dumas meets hong kong action with newcomer justin chambers reprising the oft-played character of dashing swordsman d'artagnon in director peter hyam's adventure "" the musketeer . "" 
for some reason that i may figure out later , i don't know why the time , money and effort were put into the making of "" the musketeer . "" 
it may be that someone had the clever idea of combining the dumas characters and story with the current enamor with the action work of hong kong imports like this film's xin-xin xiong ( "" once upon a time in china "" ) and yuen woo-ping from "" crouching tiger , hidden dragon . "" 
the result is a mix of genres that don't mesh well . 
elements of the ritz brothers-style comedy ( for those few who remember that comedic troupe from the 1939 "" the three musketeers "" ) , the man with no name from "" a fistful of dollars "" ( d'artagnan demands that the bad guys apologize to his horse in a direct ref to the clint eastwood spaghetti western ) and hong kong action choreography are all utilized in the original script by gene quintano . 
the result is an action flick that bears little resemblance to its source material while it makes contemporary that material in an effort to grab the "" matrix "" crowd . 
alexandre dumas may well be rolling in his grave if he knows what was done to his classic oeuvre and characters . 
the real problem with the "" the musketeer "" lies in the casting of the two lead , romantically intertwined characters , d'artagnan and francesca ( mena suvari ) . 
chambers has the boyishly handsome good looks for the character , a la chris o'donnell , but lacks any onscreen charisma . 
suvari has the doe-eyed , pretty looks as the chambermaid who has the ear of the queen , but she , too , does not have the chemistry to command the screen . 
if "" the musketeer "" makes them any money , they should invest in acting lessons . 
stronger performers may have helped to raise the bar on this one . 
the supporting cast is , on the surface , impressive . 
catherine denueve plays the queen of france and lends her character an air of royalty , dignity and humor , especially when she plays off of d'artagnan's mentor , planchet ( jean-pierre castaldi , who reminds of andre the giant in "" the princess bride ) . 
stephen rea looks good in the part of the conniving usurper cardinal richelieu , but is given very little to help flesh out his character . 
tim roth is the kind of bad guy you love to hate as the cardinal's chief henchman , febre . 
he is so bad he makes simon legree look like a boy scout . 
the rest of the players , particularly the three musketeers aramis ( nick moran , "" lock , stock and two smoking barrels "" ) , porthos ( steve spiers ) and athos ( jan gregor kremp ) , are background fodder whose role is to come to d'artagnan's aid when needed . 
peter hyam's does double duty as director and cinematography and may be too stretched to do both well . 
a stronger hand at the helm could have helped the mediocre performances of the leads and better utilized his veteran thesps . 
photography is straightforward action fare that goes through all the appropriate action flick motions - d'artagnan takes on a tavern full of thugs and bests them single-handed ; he fights a gang of febre's henchmen aboard a speeding coach to protect the queen ( with the obligatory branches hanging over the road ) ; he goes one on one with his lifelong enemy , febre , who murdered d'artagnan's folks years before . 
it is all routine stuff . 
the renowned wire work developed by the hong kong action masters is used to artificial effect as the players leap , defying gravity , up walls and from horse to horse . 
it works in a sci-fi film like "" the matrix "" or in a classical fantasy like "" crouching tiger , hidden dragon "" but just calls attention to itself in "" the musketeer . "" 
at one point i could swear i saw the stunt wire being used . 
it did not make me a believer and i am very disappointed . 
with a run time of 106 minutes it should have been more like 80 and i give it a d . 
"
"-1","i think maybe it's time for the batman series to be put to rest . 
not only has the first two films' unsettling insight into what it would really take for someone to make himself into a "" superhero "" been abandoned , but this one throws any lingering realism out the window and goes for all-out camp with few traces of the self-mocking restraint of the relatively light-hearted third installment . 
let me give you an example : in the first scene of the movie , batman ( george clooney ) and robin ( chris o'donnell ) are summoned to a museum that has been literally turned to ice by mr . freeze ( arnold schwarzenegger ) in an attempt to steal a diamond . 
mr . freeze's thugs are armed with none other than hockey sticks , but this is no problem for our heroes : automatic skates shoot out of their shoes , at which point robin manages to get hold of a hockey stick , grabs the diamond , and stick-handles it through the museum . 
i might have expected this from an airplane-style farce , but i don't think that's what this movie is supposed to be . 
after all , the previous three batman movies were actually fairly realistic by the standards of the superhero/action genre and kept the corny death-defying stunts to a minimum , while playing the obligatory cheesiness with at least some amount of irony . 
not any more ; the list goes on and on in this one . 
robin holds onto the outside of a flying rocket ship 30 , 000 feet high in the atmosphere , climbing in the door to save batman . 
mr . freeze and poison ivy ( uma thurman ) leap from a skyscraper and survive by landing in a small pond . 
a world dominating mad scientist lives in a fortress that seems to have been stolen from the old he-man cartoons . 
my very favorite example is the scene in which batgirl ( alicia silverstone ) gets in a race with motorcycle thugs , during which they come up with the clever notion of dousing the road with gasoline and setting it on fire to distract her . 
not bad , but wouldn't the police ( or maybe batman ? ) 
notice if the road was on fire ? 
i knew gotham city was this crazy anarchic place , but . 
 . 
 . 
 . 
it also seems that the creators of the batman movies are obeying some unwritten rule that there have to be more main characters and plot lines in each successive installment . 
as if three protagonists and two villains weren't enough , batman and robin further weighs itself down with an underdeveloped side story of the failing health of bruce wayne's butler alfred ( michael gough ) , which might have seemed poignant if it wasn't surrounded by so much silliness , as well as several scenes with elle macpherson as bruce's girlfriend which serve no purpose other than to remind us that she is in the movie . 
all this might be semi-excusable if the story were interesting and entertaining , but it isn't . 
in fact , it's kind of boring . 
mr . freeze and poison ivy pale in comparison as villains to past baddies such as jack nicholson's joker and danny devito's penguin . 
their evil plot is as predictable ( schwarzenegger actually pronounces the words , "" today gotham city , tomorrow the world ! "" ) 
as it is lame-brained ( didn't it ever occur to poison ivy that freezing the entire world would kill her precious plants too ? ) . 
and robin's constant challenging of batman mostly just makes him look bull-headed and stupid and makes us wonder why batman ever would have taken him on as a partner in the first place . 
strip away the stars , the fancy set design , and the status as a "" batman movie , "" and all you have here is another barely passable summer action flick . 
"
"-1","in my opinion , a movie reviewer's most important task is to offer an explanation for his opinion . 
but with soul survivors , i'm so full of critical rage that this review is liable to turn into a venomous , uncontrollable rant , obligations damned . 
however , protocol forces me to do otherwise . 
soul survivors tells the story of four college-bound friends : cassandra ( melissa sagemiller ) is sweet and innocent . 
party girl annabel ( eliza dushku of bring it on ) is dating world-weary harvard student matt ( wes bentley ) . 
matt still has feelings for cassie , who is now dating sean ( casey affleck ) . 
driving back from a creepy , gothic party , the quartet gets into a horrific car crash . 
sean dies , leaving cassie crestfallen and guilty , made worse because sean saw matt kiss cassie just minutes after sean revealed his love for her . 
as cassie mopes through her classes , she sees the ghost of sean all over the place , urging her to follow him . 
along with being plagued by other ghastly visions , cassie is also followed by thugs from that strange party . 
annabel and matt try calming her down , but no one shares cass's visions . 
she has to figure out this purgatory all by herself . 
rarely have i seen a director so thoroughly mishandle material . 
in his directorial debut , steve carpenter does nothing to provoke the audience into feeling any emotion . 
when the movie's camerawork isn't pedestrian , it's clich ? d . 
carpenter's need for close-ups , his camera following sagemiller from behind , drain the movie of any anticipation . 
we already know what to look for , so why should we be surprised ? 
and the sense of scary atmosphere , which was recently done so well in the others , is nowhere to be found here . 
carpenter's script relies on random twists and turns with a minimum of logic and loads of laziness . 
this is a movie where the ending features one character providing an explanation about the plot to another character , which is one of the lamest screenwriting devices around . 
the second lamest device , of course , is the , "" oh , it was all a dream "" resolution . 
and guess what ? 
this movie has both ! 
not that the main body of the film , which has sagemiller constantly running in fear or having a nervous breakdown , is anything worthwhile . 
since there's no captivating dialogue , no character chemistry exists anywhere . 
that's a huge problem , since the four main characters are supposed to be couples . 
carpenter can't even get the smutty scenes right , which are becoming more prevalent in pg-13 movies like bring it on and get over it . 
[the film was recently re-cut from an r rating to get more kids in the seats . 
-ed . ] 
when sagemiller and dushku dance together at a club , he rarely shows them in a full shot and he never keeps the camera on them for longer than a second before relating to some michael bay-style quick cuts . 
and when sagemiller and dushku take a shower together after getting covered in paint , they're fully clothed . 
regardless , any sexiness in that scene is undercut by its stupidity . 
why wouldn't they wash the clothes in the sink or in the washing machine ? 
why would they shower in their clothes ? 
what if they weren't covered in latex paint ? 
the cast , which will see better material in the future , would be wise to leave this one off their resumes . 
i felt sorry for affleck , who i've liked in other movies , and bentley , who was great in american beauty . 
dushku , who possesses an alluring femme fetale quality , has got to stop taking roles belonging to rose mcgowan . 
as for sagemiller ( star of the aforementioned get over it ) , i want to see her in a movie where she plays a person , and not an object for gawking . 
and i'm not even getting into luke wilson's role as a priest . 
at least he's friends with wes anderson . 
bottom line : soul survivors is so awful i feel compelled to knock on doors and warn people about it . 
"
"-1","reading the cast and director for the new mobster comedy , "" analyze this , "" i asked myself , "" how could this miss ? "" 
robert de niro ( "" taxi driver , "" "" raging bull "" ) , billy crystal ( "" city slickers "" ) , lisa kudrow ( "" the opposite of sex "" ) , and director harold ramis ( "" national lampoon's vacation "" ) . 
these are usually reliable filmmakers ( well , okay , crystal has been in a sizable slump lately ) , and tellingly , the first half-hour of "" analyze this "" was very funny . 
unfortunately , as the running time ticked away , i began to think that the first thirty minutes had , unbeknownst to me , been rewound and were being replayed another two-and-a-half times . 
the film has obtained a clever premise , but does not have any idea what to do with it as it progressively becomes more and more repetitive until i finally stopped enjoying or caring about what was happening on the screen . 
middle-aged psychoanalyst ben sobel's ( billy crystal ) life is finally going very well . 
although he has never gotten along with his own uncaring parents , especially his father , who is also a psychiatrist , ben has an easy-going teenage son ( kyle sabihy ) and is about to travel down to miami to get married to his tv news reporter girlfriend , laura ( lisa kudrow ) . 
in little but a flash , however , ben suddenly sees his plans ruined when he accidentally hits the car of the mob and subsequently gets paid a visit from famed mafia guy paul vitti ( robert de niro ) , who desperately wants counseling , even though he himself won't even admit to having anxiety attacks . 
ben tries to help paul , mostly so he will get him off his back , but the plot gets more complicated when paul follows ben to his wedding , which ends with a man dropping eight stories to his death . 
it seems to ben that no matter what he does , paul vitti will not go away , and the more they become involved , the more ben's potentially happy life gets into danger . 
 "" analyze this "" has a few laughs sprinkled throughout ( mostly in the first half ) , but i always had the nagging thought that what director ramis and writers peter tolan , ramis , and kenneth lonergan had done was thought of one joke ( robert de niro lightly spoofing his serious past mafia roles , while terrorizing and becoming buddies with comic billy crystal ) and then tiresomely recycled it for the duration of the 106-minute running time . 
admittedly , de niro is very funny here ( and i can't remember the last time you could use that adjective to describe him ) , and crystal is in top-form , but the whole movie is weighed down directly on their shoulders with nothing else to support them , including a substantial plotline . 
since "" analyze this "" bills not one , not two , but three writers , you'd think that they would have been able to work together to fix the noticably large flaws , but they must have all been on auto-pilot . 
one of the most disappointing and wasted opportunities in the film is the way the movie deals with the supporting characters , all of which have next to nothing to do and aren't even given multi-dimensional characters to attempt to develop . 
coming off of her oscar-caliber work in two of last year's best films , "" clockwatchers "" and "" the opposite of sex , "" lisa kudrow's throwaway "" girlfriend "" role is an incredible step down . 
sure , kudrow's fellow "" friend "" jennifer aniston did the same thing two weeks ago in "" office space , "" but at least we got to spend a little time with aniston . 
kudrow , meanwhile , mostly just stands around , no doubt wondering why she agreed to appear in this film in the first place . 
chazz palminteri , as rival gangster primo , fares even worse , in a role that plays more like an afterthought than an actual character . 
finally , molly shannon ( rising film star and cast member on "" saturday night live "" ) has a rousingly hilarious one-scene cameo right at the beginning as one of crystal's patients and then completely disappears . 
too bad , considering that the supporting actors surely have proven that they have the abilities to support de niro and crystal . 
once "" analyze this "" approached its second wedding scene leaving kudrow's laura standing alone at the altar once again , i had become thoroughly annoyed by where the story had gone , and had mostly lost respect for the character we were supposed to sympathize with the most , ben . 
afterwards , the climactic scene with ben posing as a fellow mob boss in place of the depressed paul , became a real laugh-free dead-zone , losing its last remaining comic punches . 
 "" analyze this "" proves that talent can certainly help any film out , but when the written material isn't up to their level , what we are virtually left with is a vacuum of thin air . 
"
"-1","as we see the terrible events that unfold before our eyes in the middle east at the moment , hollywood doesn't loose the oppertunity to get involved , by telling stories and expressing opinions . 
this film centers on a relationship forged throughout the adult lifetimes of two marine colonels , hays hodges ( tommy lee jones ) and terry childers ( samuel l . jackson ) . 
they fought side by side in vietnam , where childers saved hodges' life by shooting an unarmed pow . 
that's against the rules of war but understandable , in this story anyway , under the specific circumstances . 
certainly hodges is not complaining . 
years pass . 
hodges , whose wounds make him unfit for action , gets a law degree and becomes a marine lawyer . 
childers , is now a respected and much-decorated hero that has served his country with his life and sould . 
because of his excellent record , childers is sent to yemen to rescue the american ambassador ( ben kingsley ) , cowering in the embassy under assault from violent demonstrators and snipers blasting from rooftops . 
childers does what he has to do : evacuate the family and protect the men under his command . 
after three marines die and the colonel thinks he sees ground fire , he orders his troops to shoot into the firing crowd . 
more than 80 yemeni men , women , and children are mowed down . 
childers is immediately accused of ordering his men to fire on a crowd and murder of unarmed civilians . 
he persuades his old friend hodges to represent him in the courtroom drama that occupies the second half of the film . 
did childers violate authorized u . s . military rules of engagement ? 
or are there simply no rules in war ? 
the answers to these stereotypical questions are obvious , but the inconsistent plot immediately raises all sorts of other questions . 
the murder of 83 "" innocent civilians "" has to result into something greater than a simple trial in the u . s . where is the accusations from the arab leaders ? 
where is the u . n . ? 
the film ends without even telling the most interesting story : what happens on the international arena ? 
this film ( in a way akin to films such as "" a few good men "" ) has already been accused of breaking the rules of morality and ethics and even of racism . 
these accusations are pretty heavy , but also unfair . 
what director william friedklin truly broke was the rules of decent filmmaking . 
one of the earliest apparent problems with 'rules of engagement' is its lack of credibility . 
the entire operation in yemen may remind us about what happens in the middle east right now , but is overdone , contrived and unrealistic - as if a chain of events had to happen in a particular manner in order for the plot to proceed . 
a lot of it is so cheesy that no one could possibly accept it as reality . 
that is precisely why it's not offensive . 
it is completely unobjective . 
many stories are started and never finished . 
many questions are asked , but never answered . 
a lot of parallels are referring to nothing . 
it seems that neither the director , producers or the screenwriter can make up their minds about the contents of their film . 
is it about arab mentality ? 
america's foreign policies ? 
america's role in the world ? 
corruption in the higher circles ? 
it goes on and on . 
it consists of countless stories , but not a definable plot . 
it tries to be everything for everyone and ends up being nothing for no one . 
i think that it is ironic , because director william friedkin's probably most acclaimed film was "" the exorcist "" which had a silly story , but became a rather effective film . 
in this case you have a strong story with many possibilities and the result is a silly film . 
though several scenes bare the mark of professionalism ( such as the impressive battle scenes ) , his latest film does simply not engage . 
i believe that friedklin is a director that is absolutely depended on great scripts and talented producers in order to succeed . 
it's obvious that he has neither and the result is therefore a catastrophe . 
the characters feel designed , unreal , merely shadows , with no life outside the conflict . 
even the actors can not save this film from going under . 
though both jackson and jones act admirably , with performances that are as good as you get with a script like this , it is not something that these great actors can boast of . 
they have roles that they could play blindfolded with their hand on the back . 
jackson is gray and jones uninteresting . 
the rest of the cast , including ben kingsly , blair underwood and guy pearce are simply waiting for their paychecks . 
the time has come for the verdict . 
on the charges of complete lack of objectivity , i find this film guilty . 
on the charges of breaking the rules of reasonable filmmaking , i find it guilty . 
but on the charges of racism i find this film not guilty , because of it's inconclusive and often silly plot that lacks objectivity everywhere , not only when concerning the arab population . 
i must admit that the film is dangerously near the line of being racially offensive and i do think that screenwriter stephen gaghan went a bit too far , portraying the yemeni people almost as stereotypical hollywood bad-guys . 
this is very sad , since in a time like this it is crucial to not lose objectivity and proclaim the truth . 
however , it is absolutely necessary to remember that the muslim terrorists are responsible for most of the terrorist activity in and outside the united states . 
and that it's not a coincidence that u . s . residents in the middle east , including yemen are on constant maximum alert . 
"
"-1","from dusk till dawn ( director/editor : robert rodriguez ; screenwriters : quentin tarantino/robert kurtzman ( story ) ; cinematographer : guillermo navarro ; cast : quentin tarantino ( richie gecko ) , george clooney ( seth gecko ) , juliette lewis ( kate fuller ) , harvey keitel ( jacob fuller ) , ernest liu ( scott fuller ) , salma hayek ( santanico pandemonium ) , tom savini ( sex machine ) , fred williamson ( frost ) , cheech marin ( border guard/chet pussy/carlos ) , michael parks ( texas ranger ) , brenda hillhouse ( hostage gloria ) ; runtime : 108 ; dimension films ; 1996 ) 
reviewed by dennis schwartz 
it's a love it or hate it film . 
i simply hated it . 
on its menu for fun , is a violent feast served up as charm and done in a tongue-and-cheek manner . 
it's a serial killer/horror film farce of nonstop over-the-top action and sleaze , involving decapitations , vampires , biker fights , extended gun play , and an array of gore that has to be seen to be believed . 
a film that regales in its vulgarity and campiness for blood-and-gore , as it goes out of its way to gloss over the clich ? s of the conventional b-films . 
it's geared only for the cult film crowd , and will make its mark there one way or the other . 
the plot involves two psychopath brothers , the older professional bank robber and killer seth gecko ( clooney ) and the perverted psychopath killer , richie ( tarantino ) , who kills for pleasure and is also a rapist . 
they escape jail and go on a killing spree in wichita and then flee to a liquor store in a small texas border town . 
they have just robbed a bank and killed a number of cops , they have also taken a middle-aged bank teller as a hostage . 
in the liquor store they kill a texas ranger and the store clerk , and burn down the store . 
stopping off in a flop-house motel , richie rapes and slaughters the hostage . 
these scenes are all done with an eye for comedy and parody , if that's possible . 
on the tv news , it says they have killed 16 so far and most are texas rangers . 
the brothers plan to get to mexico and meet carlos ( cheech ) , who will give them a place of sanctuary for thirty percent of their illegal take . 
with road blocks and car searches at the border , the brothers commandeer a motor home of a vacationing family who stopped at their motel so that the father could sleep in a real bed . 
there is the father , jacob fuller ( keitel ) , who just resigned as a minister because he lost faith ever since his wife died in a car accident ; his sexy 20-year-old , innocent daughter , kate ( lewis ) ; and , her shy brother scott ( liu ) . 
it's not explained how he happens to be chinese . 
the story really becomes bizarre when they get across the border and get ready to meet carlos in a bar/whorehouse for truckers and bikers called the titty twister . 
the place is open from dawn to dusk , thus the film's title . 
here's where rodriguez has a chance to throw convention out the window and have some absurd fun , as the place turns out to be a vampire hangout . 
it sells sex to its patrons , and has exotic stripper santanico pandemonium ( hayek ) do her alluring strip before turning into a vampire . 
the brothers and their hostages have to fight their way out of the place , as the vampires keep coming and the killings become the film's staple . 
this supposedly clever script did nothing but turn me off , though there were a few funny moments in a film that was dripping with special effects and spent most of its script in finding novel ways to showcase its killings . 
i'll take a pass on this one , it's just not my style of a film . 
the characters were as empty as the story , and the film was an easy one to forget . 
"
"-1","plot : a little boy born in east germany ( named hansel ) loves the american music . 
one day , he gets the opportunity to meet and marry an american g . i . , but first , he must get a sex change ( enter hedwig ) . 
once married , the two move to the states , but quickly thereafter , get a divorce . 
at that point , hedwig starts writing music and meets another confused boy , who soon turns into a star . 
that boy also turns his back on hedwig , and it isn't long before hedwig puts together his/her own band and tours the states via seafood restaurants . 
this is the story of his/her life , told via flashbacks and musical numbers . 
critique : an artsy-fartsy musical with great songs and a superb performance by john cameron mitchell , doesn't really come together as a whole , with over-the-top symbolism , incoherence and too much pretension to retain my interest all the whole way through . 
in fact , this isn't so much of a realistic , articulate , behind-the-scenes look at the rise of a rock 'n roll star , as it is an ambiguous , overly poetic and incomprehensible struggle of a man , his sexuality and his identity as a whole person on this planet . 
i guess that i was expecting the former going in . 
the film is somewhat interesting to a point , but i was personally never able to involve myself too much , as the basic symbolic and incongruent nature of the film left me feeling cold and distant . 
but it is definitely tuned to a certain type of audience . 
chances are that if you are a fan of the wall , the rocky horror picture show or even priscilla , queen of the desert , the elements tangled in this movie will likely strike your fancy ( some of the characters in this film even ask the audience to sing along at some point , and provide the lyrics of their song , on-screen ) . 
well , i personally don't care for those films , and didn't really get into the whole "" show "" atmosphere of this movie either . 
i guess i might've looked at it all too literally , but like i said earlier , i just didn't care enough about the characters to delve into the "" so the butterfly represents his freedom ? "" 
side of things . 
all i know is that the film left me with many questions unanswered and didn't make me feel any more fulfilled . 
what was hedwig's relationship with that other member of his band ( with the beard ) ? 
what happened with hedwig and tommy gnosis at the end of the movie ? 
 ( was that an actual sequence or a fantasy ? ) 
what ever happened to the lawsuit ? 
and more . . . 
all of which were part of the film and interested me somewhat . 
if the only idea behind the film was for the main character to uncover his/her sexuality , then that's one thing , but as many of the relationships and situations presented themselves in this movie , i wanted some resolution to those pieces as well . 
i didn't get it . 
the film's humor also didn't tickle my funny bone either . 
then again , i've seen many a film in these art-house theatres in which patrons are rolling down the aisles with laughter , while all i see is a tiny bit of whimsy on the screen . 
some of these films are also better enjoyed with the added "" atmosphere "" of a plant called marijuana , and i can certainly see how this movie ingrains within itself some nifty visual elements , in order to jazz up that experience . 
but being sober as i was and expecting a coherent , funny , musical with a transsexual twist , i didn't leave the theater very satisfied . 
i came out having watched an existential story of a confused man caught up in a musical lifestyle , wrapped in metaphors , dramatics and more questions than answers . 
i will , on the other hand , definitely hand some props out to the lead in this film , john cameron mitchell , who is also the man who wrote , directed and created the play on which this movie is based , and the tunes , which will likely be enjoyed by anyone who digs the sex pistols , david bowie and the whole 70s glam-rock scene . 
note : btw , it seems as though pretty much every single "" mainstream "" critic in the united states loved this movie from top to bottom ( and thought that it was really funny to boot ! ) , so you might want to take that into consideration yourself . 
but having said that , the main reason that i started this dinky website in the first place was because films like this would sometimes be uniformly applauded by the "" official "" critics , while i , a regular "" joblo "" in the audience , just wouldn't get what all the fuss was about . 
this movie is a perfect example of why i continue to write movie reviews . 
where's joblo coming from ? 
moulin rouge ( 8/10 ) - grease ( 8/10 ) - everyone says i love you ( 5/10 ) - the opposite of sex ( 8/10 ) - dancer in the dark ( 5/10 ) - o brother , where art thou ( 7/10 ) - love's labour's lost ( 8/10 ) 
"
"-1","8mm is not going to enlighten your day . 
it's a dark , grimy and disturbing portrait of underworld snuff films and filled with excessive violence . 
not only do you need the stomach to make it through this bloated mess , you'll require a lot of patience as well . 
nicolas cage seems to be doing quite a bit of overacting as of late . 
he wore a bizarre get-up and did a lot of yelling in the terminally awful snake eyes , and here he attempts a performance that can relate to someone completely losing their grip on reality . 
cage plays private investigator tom welles , praised for his secrecy and reliability . 
at home , welles is a family man , with a wife ( catherine keener ) and a small daughter to take care of . 
his new assignment is a bizarre one : the wife of a formally deceased millionaire has hired him to solve a mystery regarding a film found in her husband's safe . 
the film appears to be some kind of cheap pornography involving a teenage girl and a masked man , until the girl is brutally murdered . 
or so it seems . 
welles , of course , begins to burrow deeper and deeper to uncover the truth . 
and the more he becomes involved in this disturbing case , the more he gets in over his head . 
he hires an adult book store clerk named max california ( joaquin phoenix ) to be his guide through the ugly underworld of pornography . 
max knows what welles is getting himself into , and explains , `you dance with the devil , the devil don't change . 
the devil changes you . ' 
these turn out to be very wise words . 
8mm has a premise that begs for a better execution . 
the set-up is slick and well played , as cage uncovers the identity of the girl and travels to hollywood to locate her . 
this is where everything goes awry . 
although director joel schumacher succeeds in frightening us with his grotesque portrait of the `real world' , he forgot to inject any interest or excitement to the formula . 
everything about the movie becomes dull and lifeless , repelling the viewer like the effect of bug spray to insects . 
although it had enormous potential , the third act of 8mm is a total bust , leaving intrigued audiences in a baffling state of extreme disappointment as the proceedings spiral out of control . 
cage is the film's sole flame of energy . 
his performance is actually believable , but soon the director's demands start to weigh heavily on his shoulder and he begins stumbling along in desperation . 
still , you've got to give him credit for holding this project together as long as he did , for that is no easy feat when you consider the problems at hand . 
welles' trail soon leads him to a bizarre filmmaker ( played convincingly by peter stormare ) who is notorious for the hardest-hitting snuff films in the industry . 
this is where cage goes over the edge into a serial killer-like phase , in which he must take revenge on all those who murdered the innocent girl in the film . 
he tracks down the masked man responsible for the killing ( chris bauer ) , and they have a bloody brawl in the local cemetery , a fight sequence that would look more at home in a schwarzenegger movie . 
written by andrew kevin walker , 8mm dissipates into a poor man's seven , with all the violence but little of the effectiveness that made the latter such a chilling masterpiece . 
furthermore , what has become of joel schumacher ? 
the director has recently experienced a major drought , slumming in the depths of dismal flop after flop ( batman and robin , anyone ? ) . 
this putrid thriller is certainly not going to revive his career , so perhaps schumacher should start exploring his lighter side . 
"
"-1","synopsis : original "" jurassic park "" survivor alan grant ( neill ) is tricked by paul and amanda kirby ( macy and leoni ) into leading an expedition to an island overrun by dinosaur , to rescue their stranded son . 
grant's team is picked off one by one as they encounter dinosaurs both new and familiar , and grant grows to realise that some breeds are more intelligent than he previously thought . 
review : there is one reason why "" jurassic park iii "" is better than its immediate predecessor , "" the lost world : jurassic park "" . 
the latter wasted 129 minutes of my life ; the former , only 94 . 
the first "" park "" was a marvellous film , full of awe-inspiring sights , interesting characters , and genuine thrills . 
its two successors have been pale imitations , amounting to hundred-million-dollar b-grade horror movies . 
at least this third entry realises it ; whereas "" the lost world "" tried to justify its existence with a ludicrous and overextended plot , "" jurassic park iii "" simply sticks its characters on an island with a bunch of dinosaurs and lets the mayhem begin . 
there is a desperate sense of deja vu presiding over this movie ; the computer-animated dinos are no longer novel or exciting , and even the first-time presence of aerial lizards scarcely improves the situation . 
remember that wondrous first trolley ride through the park in the original movie ? 
nothing in this rehash even comes close . 
add in execrable dialogue from screenwriters buchman , payne and taylor , and phoned-in performances by the normally capable macy and leoni , and it is difficult to recommend the film to anyone but dino enthusiasts . 
at least neill makes some effort to retain the dignity of his character , and there is much less gore than in "" the lost world "" , making this installment more suitable for children . 
"
"-1","the characters in jonathan lynn's "" the whole nine yards , "" yet another in an endless recent string of mob comedies ( 1999's "" analyze this "" and "" mickey blue eyes , "" 2000's "" gun shy "" ) , are rarely ever written as real people , but merely as one-dimensional caricatures . 
when an added layer to one of their personalities is revealed , it is not to service the character development , or to naturally offer up instinctive characterizations , but to accommodate the convoluted plot . 
in a lightweight comedy , you might say , it is not required to have perfectly realized figures , just as long as they get the job done . 
unfortunately , for a comedy to work , it has to at least succeed at being funny , and if there was a laugh-o-meter available , i'd guess that it briefly ascended around 2 . 5% of the time for me . 
suffice to say , the comedy in "" the whole nine yards "" works about as well as the broken-down lawnmower in my backyard , and when a giggle surprisingly arises every twenty to thirty minutes , it is by sheer luck . 
nicholas "" oz "" oseransky ( matthew perry ) is an amateur dentist living in the quiet suburbs of quebec . 
trapped in a hateful marriage with the conniving sophie ( rosanna arquette , delightfully hamming it up with a clearly artificial french-canadian accent ) , one day oz sees that someone is moving into the house next-door . 
walking over to greet him , he is horrified to discover it is jimmy "" the tulip "" tudeski ( bruce willis ) , a former contract killer for the mafia who has just been released from prison . 
once getting to know him and becoming his friend , oz is more comfortable with his identity , but for sophie , it means a possible hitman to do away with oz . 
in her scheme , sophie sends oz to chicago to cash in by informing his old mob boss ( kevin pollak ) about jimmy's whereabouts , but in the process , he falls in love with jimmy's wife , cynthia ( natasha henstridge ) , who is being held hostage . 
upon return to quebec , and with one contrivance after the next , oz's dental assistant , jill ( amanda peet ) , is overjoyed to discover that he lives beside "" the tulip , "" and forces him to set up a meeting , since jill's dream in life turns out being a contract killer herself . 
have you got all that ? 
because there is more . 
much , much more . 
and this is a movie that , without credits , is little over 90 minutes and feels only like an hour . 
 "" the whole nine yards "" is an ultimately unsatisfying and empty-headed excursion into well-worn terrain already set by far superior pictures . 
how the cast , most of which are respectable actors , got caught up in such a cliched , deficient film remains a mystery , unless they thought it might aspire to match the congenial screwball zaniness of director lynn's 1985 comedy classic , "" clue : the movie . "" 
going into the theater , preliminary comparisons between the two movies were unavoidable , but by the twenty-minute mark , when i had chuckled once and laughed nary a single time , it was clear this production was in serious trouble . 
since the entire running time depends on the mechanisms of the plot , and the screenplay , inauspiciously written by mitchell kapner , collapses with every failing "" comedy "" bit , the film is an inevitable dead zone in the way of substance and , frequently , entertainment value . 
 "" the whole nine yards "" is neither facetious nor , aside from the subplot about jill's shocking eagerness to become a professional hitwoman , inventive , and more often than not , just lies there , the film spinning drearily around and around in the projector , but never igniting any sort of spark . 
a few select actors do what they can with the material , while others make no impact at all . 
on the mediocre side are actually those playing the two central characters : matthew perry and bruce willis . 
perry , innocuously enjoyable on tv's "" friends , "" plays the same exact sitcom-style character in all of his movies ( from 1997's "" fools rush in "" to 1999's "" three to tango "" ) , and it has become a crushing bore . 
meanwhile , willis makes next to no impression , and because of the limited guise of his jimmy "" the tulip "" tudeski , oftentimes disappears into the background . 
their three female counterparts fare noticeably better . 
best of all is natasha henstridge , far more radiant than in the exploitative "" species "" movies , who adds unanticipated depth and emotion to cynthia . 
henstridge has the talent , for sure , to break out of these countless throwaway roles , but first she must fire her agent . 
amanda peet has a lot of fun as the quirkily straightforward and giddy jill , and seems to know more about the art of comedic payoff than even perry who , thus far , has strived on a career based solely on comedy . 
it is too bad , then , that peet is unnecessarily asked to disrobe in a climactic scene , with the obvious sole purpose being to show off her breasts . 
finally , rosanna arquette is awful as sophie , but something tells me that was her purpose , and her clear overacting only aids in brightening up her limited screen time . 
also popping up is michael clarke duncan , fresh off an oscar nomination for his role in "" the green mile , "" as jimmy's largely built friend and fellow killer , frankie figs . 
when "" the whole nine yards "" eventually sputters to its underwhelming conclusion , one is left pondering how such a film ever got greenlit . 
a great deal of movies of this type have been made in the past , and this one is nothing but a duplication of better films , so what was the point ? 
without a passable screenplay or any notable technical accomplishments , "" the whole nine yards "" rests solely on the presumed charm of the cast , and half of the actors are not charming at all . 
now , what does that tell you ? 
"
"-1","take two old and dying men , a lifetime of regrets , a house full of sins , a thoroughly despicable man , enough lies , insecurities and other character defects to keep a team of psychiatrists gainfully employed , then add a inexplicable meteorological and amphibian-based phenomenon and you will have summed up magnolia , the newest film from paul thomas anderson ( boogie nights ) . 
the movie tells multiple stories , weaving them together , or overlapping them during the course of its three hour running time . 
would that the stories were worth the telling . 
earl partridge ( jason robards , a thousand acres ) is dying of cancer . 
bedridden , in much pain , it is obvious that his time is growing short . 
his much younger wife played by julianne moore ( an ideal husband ) is surprised to find herself struggling with his impending death . 
having married for money , she discovers that she has actually fallen in love with the old guy and regrets having cheated and lied . 
earl regrets having cheated on his first wife and estranging himself from his only son ( tom cruise , eyes wide shut ) , now a misogynist self-help guru who teaches men how to "" seduce and destroy , "" his sexual and vulgar perspective on male/female relationships is so over-the-top as to be utterly unbelievable . 
meanwhile , jimmy gator ( philip baker hall , the insider ) is also dying of cancer . 
not as physically incapacitated as earl , jimmy is still able to perform his duties as the lovable host of a long-running quiz show which pits adults against children . 
the current whiz-quiz-kid is stanley spector ( jeremy blackman in his film debut ) who is tired of the pressure of performing and is willing to call it quits . 
on the other hand , quiz kid donnie smith ( william macy , mystery men ) would like nothing more than to return to the spotlight when he was a "" somebody . "" 
his pathetic life is souring as he can no longer capitalize on his brief 15 minutes of fame which stanley is all too eager to relinquish . 
jimmy has his own family crisis as his drug-addict daughter ( melora walters , boogie nights ) refuses to have anything to do with him for reasons which are not disclosed to us until the end of the film . 
grabbing at one last attempt at happiness she reaches out to a softhearted cop ( john c . reilly , never been kissed ) even as she tries to push herself away from him because she deems herself not worthy of his affection . 
this dysfunctional group carries on for what seems to be an interminable two-thirds of the movie . 
and then it gets worse , literally raining frogs . 
yes , frogs . 
assuming it to be an intended deus-ex-machina device , it is an ineffective one because it doesn't seem to faze the characters much . 
oh , they may step gingerly around the splattered frog corpses littering the streets , but otherwise , the frog shower didn't seem to change their behavior or pattern of living ( or dying ) . 
there is simply too much going on in this movie and most of it is distasteful to watch . 
mr . anderson further obscures the film by incorporating a loud and intrusive sound track that often drowned out the dialogue , a character who apparently rapped a significant clue to a plot development which was completely unintelligble , and a heavy handed segment of "" historical "" occurances containing ironic twists which set up absolutely nothing . 
one of the recurring themes is found in a line donnie quotes : "" we may be done with the past , but the past is not done with us . "" 
this is an absolute lie . 
god is in the forgiveness business . 
in fact , as we humbly ask for forgiveness and repent or change our offending mindset , god's word says that he not only forgives , he also forgets . 
 "" i , even i , am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake , and will not remember thy sins . "" 
isaiah 43 : 25 [kjv] 
the spiritual one who keeps bringing up our unrighteous past is the same one who wants to keep us in a state of condemnation . 
don't let him . 
next time your spiritual adversary reminds you of your past , take great pleasure in reminding him of his future . 
he hates that . 
"
"-1","so much for sweet returns . 
after smart horror films were starting to be made again after the exploitative 80's slasher movies , starting with 1996's "" scream , "" and followed by "" scream 2 , "" "" urban legend , "" and the original , "" i know what you did last summer , "" a film like , "" i still know what you did last summer , "" was bound to be made sooner or late . 
it is a perfect example of the exact reason why horror films temporarily burned out , and that is because they reached for the lowest-common-denominator in filmmaking , favoring non-stop deaths and gore for suspense , and trading in fleshed out , likable characters for one-dimensional nitwits . 
it has been exactly one year since julie james ( jennifer love hewitt ) suffered through the ordeal of being terrorized by ben willis , a psychopathic fisherman whom her friends and she accidentally hit in the middle of the road , and then , thinking he was dead , dumped him into the ocean . 
since then , julie has relocated to boston university , and although often paranoid and haunted by bad dreams , she has been able to put her life back together . 
when julie's friend , karla ( brandy ) , is called up by a radio station and answers correctly what the capital of brazil is , she wins a vacation to the bahamas for four people , which also includes karla's horny boyfriend , tyrell ( mekhi phifer ) , and will ( matthew settle ) , who karla sets julie up with after her own boyfriend , ray ( freddie prinze jr . , also returning from the original ) , doesn't show up . 
when they reach the secluded island , they discover it is the last day of the open season , and will be stranded there for the 4th of july weekend with a few employees to fend off a violent storm headed for them . 
of course , julie , her friends , and the workers aren't the only ones there , as the murderous ben willis , dressed in fisherman garb , returns to seek revenge on julie once and for all . 
it is a sad state of affairs when a movie like , "" i still know what you did last summer , "" is made . 
i am a very big fan of horror movies , and so it is especially disheartening to find out that this sequel to "" ikwydls , "" which i am a fan of , is almost an exact replica of a "" friday the 13th "" movie . 
while the original focused more on the story and characters , as well as genuinely suspenseful moments , thanks to the screenplay by kevin williamson ( who didn't return to write the sequel , and it shows ) , "" i still know . . . "" 
has no story to speak of , and is so vacuous of ideas , that the filmmakers , were forced to have a murder occur every five minutes just to keep the audience interested . 
also gone are any signs of character development , and since every single character died before i got to know them , all i was left with was to stare at the screen , indifferent to what was going on . 
while i cared about the fates of the characters in the original , it made no difference to me in this sequel who lived and died . 
they were all paper-thin and pointless , except to become victims to the lethal hook of the fisherman . 
another element that made the original so memorable were some superbly crafted set-pieces , like the store sequence with sarah michelle gellar , but there are none to speak of in this sequel ( although they do come close at one moment with brandy ) . 
since so many people were killed every couple minutes , the suspense and scares evaporated faster than salt in water . 
also of note is the mystery of the second killer , and accomplice to ben , but it is obvious from the first frame who it is , and so i couldn't even have fun at that , like i did in the "" scream "" movies and , "" urban legend . "" 
it figures that just as slasher films were starting to get some recognition again , a film would come along and ruin it for everyone else . 
maybe the people who made , "" i still know what you did last summer , "" should have realized that in order to make a good movie , you must have a screenplay---or at least one that isn't such a black hole for thoughts and ideas . 
the ending of the film inevitably leaves the door wide open for a third part , but judging from this amazingly lackluster first sequel , everyone involved should have quit while they were still ahead . 
"
"-1","around the end of 1998 , a japanese cartoon came to the usa television , and really wasn't that big . 
in fact not many people even knew what pokemon was , but in 1999 it hit big with kids and adults alike , and became one of the biggest franchises and merchandise seller of all time . 
in fact it even spawned a big screen adventure pokemon : the first movie which for what it was , wasn't all that bad . 
it grossed $31 million in its opening weekend , and went on to make almost $90 million . 
fans thought it was great and now is a second movie in the pokemon craze , "" pokemon : the movie 2000 "" which is far inferior to the original animated movie . 
first up is the plot , which there really isn't much of , in fact the plot what there is : a bad guy trying to destroy the ancient never before seen pokemon , lugia , is about it , except the fact that ash kethcum the worlds best pokemon trainer must try and stop him before he destroys this one pokemon forever . 
well there you go , of course ash is followed by his friends misty , brock , gary and his pokemon friends , pikachu , squirtle , charizard , the usual . 
even though the first movie wasn't a great film , it was definately an enjoyable well-made movie with an actual thin storyline . 
this new movie however is nothing but garbage , there is nothing good to it storywise , and its only good thing comes from some plush animation and colors . 
compared to the first film , this movie is awfully bland , from its opening titles , to the end titles it tries its best to work , but fails miserably at every corner . 
the characters are 1-dimensional , the story thin as chicken broth , and the writing very lame . 
even the so called action scenes are extremely lame , and falls before it even gets a chance to go . 
the voices even aren't that good and almost feels like the stars don't want to be there , like they can tell that this is an extremel bad movie . 
which it certainly is . 
the film has one thing going for it and that is the animation , although not up to disney standards , it is still very good with some interesting cgi's and very colorful animation , the colors jump out at you very fast , and seem very nicely put on film . 
why a film this bad got such a good treatment with its animation is still a question to be answered , hopefully pokemon 3 next year will be much better than this trash . 
for now watch the first one . 
its much much better . 
"
"-1","its a stupid little movie that trys to be clever and sophisticated , yet trys a bit too hard . 
with the voices of woody allen , gene hackman , jennifer lopez , sylvester stallone , and sharon stone , this computer-animated yak-fest ( think toy story [1996] filled with used merchandising ) is one for the ant-eaters . 
the main story is the independence of a worker named z ( allen ) . 
he wants more to life than just digging away underground for the colony . 
when he finds out about ``insectopia , "" a mythical place where all insects can run free , z , along with his colony's princess ( stone ) , journey out into the world to find a meaning for life . 
about 15 minutes into the picture , i began to wonder what the point of the film was . 
halfway through , i still didn't have an answer . 
by the end credits , i just gave up and ran out . 
antz is a mindless mess of poor writing and even poorer voice-overs . 
allen is nonchalant , while i would have guessed , if i hadn't seen her in the mighty and basic instinct , stone can't act , even in a cartoon . 
this film is one for the bugs : unfunny and extremely dull . 
hey , a bug's life may have a good time doing antz in . 
"
"-1","godzilla is a nuclear freak . 
he is a lizard that has been mutated over the years and has become a new species , one that has a foot as long as this bus , and a claw as long as this sign . 
this aquatic creature made its first attack in the pacific islands . 
he tore up a ship that carried dozens of japanese men . 
one survived . 
only he was left to recount the terror that he had seen . 
he was merely able to repeat the words "" godzilla . . . godzilla . . . godzilla "" . 
the film then introduces us to matthew broderick , a biologist who has been studying the fascinating growth of chernobyl earthworms . 
 "" they're 17% larger than they used to be ! "" he proclaims . 
the u . s . military pulls him off this three year project and assigns him to figure out what godzilla is . 
and , boy , does he find out . 
and , boy , does godzilla suck . 
i hate to use such a word in a review , something that is supposed to inform my audience , but i really need to drive this one home and i refuse to use explitives . 
it is unbelieveable to me how the producers of this movie saw the final cut and said , "" ok ! 
it's great ! 
let's show this puppy . "" 
roland emmerich needs a good horse whipping . 
his latest piece of trash makes id4 look like a masterpiece of modern american cinema . 
and if steven spielberg had never made the jurassic park films , emmerich and his team of talent-challenged imbeciles would never have had a clue as to how the creature should look . 
let me give you a few examples of this terrible attempt at filmmaking . 
i plan on giving some things away here . 
belive me , godzilla holds no surprises for anyone with an iq higher than their shoe size , so . . . no 
worries . 
however , if you are looking for that "" first time thrill "" and you refuse to let me do you this favor , by all means , stop reading now . 
a . ) godzilla makes his first ever attack in the pacific islands . 
he next strikes in new york city . 
um . . . anyone have a map handy ? 
b . ) the mayor of new york city is a heavy set individual with parted gray hair and thick glasses . 
his name is mayor ebert . 
his assistant is named gene . 
gene gives ebert a thumbs down at the end of the film . 
i couldn't make this up if i tried , folks . 
c . ) stay with me on this one . . . 
ok . 
godzilla can out run torpedoes . 
hank azaria can out run godzilla babies . 
 ( which look more like jurassic park raptors than the jurassic park raptors . ) 
d . ) the u . s . military , upon realization that godzilla has disappeared after running rampant through the city , decides that he "" might be hiding in a building . "" 
e . ) ( oh yeah , i can go all the way to e . ) godzilla strikes at manhattan . 
manhattan , an island approximately the size of san francisco holds three million people . 
they evactuate to new jersey in about one day . 
no problem . 
f . ) early on , they bait godzilla with fish . 
 ( he likes fish , you know . ) 
the thing is on an island . 
the atlantic ocean is three steps east , but pile a whole bunch of grouper on fifth and 57th . . . oh 
he's gonna come running . 
g . ) you know what ? 
i'll stop with the list now . . . the 
alphabet isn't big enough anyway . 
the dialogue makes me wonder if producer dean devlin had his five year old do a re-write . 
 "" the kid is good ! "" he must have said . 
maria pitillo is looking to become a name in hollywood by starring in this potential blockbuster . 
bad move , maria . 
acting doesn't get much worse than her turn as broderick's ex-flame . 
matthew broderick is a good actor , but you'd never give him a chance if godzilla were the only film of his you'd seen . 
jean reno needs to pick his american films a bit more carefully . 
at times , godzilla seems to be headed toward a zucker , abrahams , zucker film . 
 ( airplane ! , naked gun . ) 
the jokes are indeed that bad . 
but just when you think the filmmakers are having fun with you , they take themselves seriously . 
how dare they ! 
godzilla would have been better if it had only thrown in visual sight gags and fart jokes . 
at least then we would know we were supposed to laugh . 
each and every character in godzilla is beyond stupid and i was really pulling for the beast to kill more of them . 
emmerich did do one thing , though . 
 ( and i've no idea if it was intentional . ) 
he made me sympathize with godzilla . 
his attackers were so damn dumb that i felt sorry for him being pelted with bullets and missles . 
but what made me feel even sorrier for him was that his famous name will always be attatched to one of the worst films hollywood has ever produced . 
"
"-1","after the recent animated debacles of , "" a rugrats movie , "" and "" a bug's life , "" i am seriously considering raising my highly negative rating on dreamworks' other insect film from october , "" antz . "" 
i hated that movie , and yet , it is so much better than these latest two excursions . 
 "" a bug's life , "" is the second animated insect film in the last two months , and i hoped for the best , considering it was done in the wonderful style of pixar's last film , 1995's "" toy story , "" but in no way does , "" a bug's life , "" even remotely match up to that . 
flik ( david foley ) , an ant , who along with his many comrades , has the job every year of gathering up the seasonal harvest , only to have to give half of it away to the dominating grasshoppers , led by hopper ( kevin spacey ) . 
flik , however , feels all alone and unwanted in the world , especially after he accidentally loses all of their food , and the ants are threated by hopper to gather up a whole other season's load by the time the last summer leaf falls from the trees . 
banished from ant island , flik leaves the colony in search of some strong reinforcement to help out , but through a misunderstanding , returns with a handful of helpless circus bugs , including a walking stick ( david hyde pierce ) , a dung beetle ( brad garrett ) , a gypsy moth ( madeline kahn ) , a male ladybug ( denis leary ) , and a caterpillar ( joe ranft ) . 
 "" a bug's life , "" has one thing going for it . 
only one thing . 
with its glorious , bright colors , the computer-generated animation is a spectacle to look at . 
the film itself , unfortunately , is a lifeless , unamusing contraption without any of the flair or excitement of , "" toy story . "" 
the characters in , "" a bug's life , "" are an assortment of either unlikable or dull insects without any charm or personality , other than to stand around and recite arbitrary and thoroughly unfunny one-liners . 
the thin story was also stretched out to a nearly unbearable 94 minutes , and it often felt as if they ran out of ideas throughout , and so they made up pointless scenes to pass as time-filler . 
after giving such scathing reviews to the animated films from this year , i was beginning to think that i had simply outgrown them , but then i realized this is just not so . 
i still adore almost all of the older disney films , and many of the newer ones , such as 1989's , "" the little mermaid , "" 1991's , "" beauty and the beast , "" 1993's , "" the nightmare before christmas , "" and yes , 1995's , "" toy story . "" 
maybe this has just been a bad year for children's films , and hopefully , the upcoming , "" the prince of egypt , "" will not be a disappointment . 
as for , "" a bug's life , "" i did not enjoy anything about it . 
not the story , not the characters , and not even the voiceover work , which was far more lively in , "" antz . "" 
 "" a bug's life , "" goes down as yet another failure for disney , and it is a sad state of affairs when their best film in the last two years has been the minor jonathan taylor thomas picture , "" i'll be home for christmas . "" 
"
"-1","once upon a time jean-claude van damme was a decent action hero . 
the muscles from brussels bursted into the hollywood market with mindless adventure films , boasting his spectacular martial-arts ability . 
some of these excursions were fun . 
but now it seems like watching a van damme movie has become a painful chore , with no rewards but the virtually guaranteed helping of mind-numbing action . 
and when the action goes sour , what is there left to enjoy ? 
i'll explain . 
knock off is about a pair of counterfeit jeans salesmen working out of an office in hong kong . 
marcus ray ( van damme ) , a babe-magnet and stylish dresser , heads up the company with an annoying weasel of a partner ( rob schneider ) . 
they become part of a plot involving microbombs implanted in counterfeit jeans , seemingly by a mole in the business . 
i'm going to reveal about everything in the next paragraph , so if you want a review devoid of spoilers , skip onto the next one . 
i'm not quite sure who gives a crap , but i'll issue a warning anyhow . 
tommy is really working with the cia . 
his boss ( a very hammy and flat paul sorvino ) is the mole , and he wants to cause carnage with these tiny but immensely powerful super weapons . 
he even stoops so low to put them into children's toys . 
if you thought this plot outline sounded intriguing , then you probably will enjoy knock off . 
if you think that this ridiculous set-up couldn't even fill five minutes of screen time without causing you to roll over laughing , this might not be your cup of tea . 
knock off sucks . 
it stoops to ridiculous levels that most individuals could only conjure up in horrific nightmares . 
it amazes me how far these producers will go to sell something , simply because van damme is the star . 
the plot is pathetic garbage strung together by inane action sequences that will baffle your mind , the performances are so wooden you could use them to row a canoe , and the action itself is an absolute catastrophe . 
director tsui hark ( who teamed with van damme in the superior , but still lame-brained double team ) is at the helm , and he would rather attempt to dazzle us with fantastic camera angles than engage us with the plot . 
i suppose i enjoyed some of the camera work , but the incessant desperation of it all made me rather nauseous . 
the picture freezes in the middle of an action sequence , speeds are altered consistently , and the camera tricks mostly apply to traveling up gun barrels as the weapons are fired . 
it all sounds very cool . 
trust me , it isn't . 
as much as it scars me to say this ( har , har ) , van damme is terrible . 
sure , he does lots of fancy kickboxing moves and dodges giant crates with the greatest of ease . 
he looks like he's doing a bad impersonation of jackie chan , and his performance is stiff and tired . 
i hate to say it , but perhaps it's time for mr . van damme to give up his day job . 
it's really a test of endurance watching knock off . 
i suppose there's some enjoyment derived from schneider's character , who is extremely annoying , but provides the film's better moments . 
and what is the beautiful lela rochon doing in this movie ? 
hopefully she grabbed her paycheck and then fled the premises like an olympic sprinter . 
knock off doesn't even stand strong as a mindless but entertaining action film , like a handful of van damme's others . 
no , this movie is an embarrassment to the entire action genre of modern filmmaking . 
and considering how low hollywood has stooped as of late in that department , that is certainly not saying much . 
note to self : avoid universal soldier 2 : the return upon release in august ? 99 . 
"
"-1","the year is barely a week old , and there is already a candidate for the worst of 1997--the relic , a would-be chiller that's more successful at making the audience laugh than scream . 
in this ridiculous film from uberhack peter hyams ( whose last two pictures were dreadful jean-claude van damme vehicles ) , a creature that feeds on the hypothalamuses ( hypothalamii ? ) of humans and animals goes on a killing spree in a chicago museum . 
how did this creature come into existence , and why does it feed on hormones ? 
the "" scientific "" explanation cooked up by the four--yes , four--credited screenwriters ( amy holden jones , john raffo , rick jaffa , and amanda silver ) takes "" suspension of disbelief "" to new heights , even by monster movie standards . 
but as cockamamie as the science is in the film , it isn't quite as hard to swallow as the casting of the clueless penelope ann miller as a brilliant molecular biologist who specializes in evolutionary genetics . 
miller acts as if she wants an oscar nomination , turning every scene that requires the slightest display of emotion into an overblown oscar clip , complete with piercing wails and glycerine tears . 
give it up , penelope--it's a _monster_movie_ . 
on the flip side , tom sizemore just phones in his performance as a police lieutenant , but his role is so thankless that it's hard to imagine it being played any more effectively . 
it's quite funny to see a film indulge , with the straightest of faces , in all those cheesy horror movie cliches that wes craven lampooned so well ( and so recently ) in scream . 
for example , in one early scene , a museum security guard goes into a bathroom stall late at night . 
ok , we all know what's coming , but as if we didn't need any more confirmation , he pulls out a joint and starts puffing away . 
everyone knows what happens to people who do drugs in a scary movie . 
and later , miller frantically runs out of a museum exhibit after she hears some suspicious heavy breathing . 
does she make a beeline for the front door ? 
of course not--she runs into the ladies room and cowers in a stall . 
with all the cliches , it is only fitting the film's climax offers what is perhaps the most overused one in recent film : that of someone outrunning a fireball . 
if the relic is truly "" the next evolution in terror "" as the poster states , then the horror film--and humanity--is in even worse shape than we thought . 
"
"-1","susan granger's review of "" two can play that game "" ( screen gems ) 
since the success of "" waiting to exhale , "" there have been several romantic comedies about african-american professionals . 
this female revenge fantasy , vivica a . fox plays shante smith , a stunning ad exec who seems to have reached the pinnacle of success : a mansion , a sporty car and an idyllic relationship with a hunky , hot-shot lawyer , morris chestnut . 
she's at a point in her life when she dispenses advice to her grateful girl-friends ( mo'nique , wendy racquel robinson , tamala jones ) . 
 "" when your man messes up , no matter how small it is , "" she smugly decrees , "" yuh gots to punish him . "" 
so when she catches her hot man dancing at a bar with a smart and sexy rival , gabrielle union , she devises her own version of "" the rules , "" a 10-day "" tough love "" emotionally punishing plan to get him back . 
unfortunately , writer/director mark brown ( "" how to be a player "" ) breaks the cardinal rule of romantic comedy : you have to like the protagonist - and shrill , self-congratulatory shante smith is a smirking , superficial , spiteful shrew who doesn't realize that rational rules cannot always be applied to love . 
having her talk directly into the camera gets stale very quickly and the "" day one , "" "" day two "" title-card device underscores the tedium . 
comic anthony anderson scores as chestnut's boisterous best-friend , and singer bobby brown does a cameo as a scuzzy mechanic who's given a smooth makeover by ms . robinson . 
but the out-takes over the closing credits contain more humor than the film itself . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" two can play that game "" is smarmy if slick 4 , filled with misogynistic attitude and blatant product placements ( coca-cola , miller genuine draft ) but little else . 
in this r-rated ( for explicit sexual language ) , pseudo-hip battle of the sexes , the audience loses . 
"
"-1","susan granger's review of "" glitter "" ( 20th century-fox ) 
there's less here than meets the eye . 
or , put it this way , if you thought madonna was awful in "" shanghai surprise , "" mariah carey's worse in this reworking of "" a star is born . "" 
she plays billie frank who , despite being abandoned by her singer/alcoholic mother ( valerie pettiford ) , believes she's destined for greatness because everyone tells her she is . 
 "" you've got this amazing gift , and you gotta use it , "" her roommate says . 
 "" your voice - it's incredible , "" says another singer . 
 "" i ain't never met anyone like you , "" proclaims julian "" dice "" black ( max beesley ) , the hot new york dj who becomes her svengali-like producer/lover . 
problem is : her signature song , "" i didn't mean to turn you on "" is wretched . 
and when she fumes out of filming her first music video because the director wants to "" exploit "" her by having her wear a bikini , the audience bursts into laughter . 
exploit mariah carey , who chooses to wear as little as the law will allow ? 
come on ! 
writer kate lanier's script is fatuous and director vondie curtis-hall doesn't have a clue how to handle the glitzy pop diva and , as a result of their incompetence , whispery-voice'd ms . carey seems to be embarrassed on-screen . 
she almost cringes when the camera comes in for a close-up , pursing her lips and averting her glassy eyes . 
talented british musician max beesley appears equally inept , and as cinematographer geoffrey simpson pans around the manhattan skyline , there's an audible audience groan when the twin towers of the world trade center come into view . 
perhaps one of the reasons ms . carey suffered her highly-publicized nervous breakdown this summer is because she saw a preview of this clunker . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" glitter "" is a pathetic 1 . 
right now , it's tops on my list of the worst of 2001 . 
"
"-1","the ads make "" hanging up "" seem like an upbeat comedy about a rascally father and his three daughters . 
anyone who went to the movie expecting that left disappointed . 
all of the movie's funny scenes were included in the ad . 
so what do we get ? 
eve marks ( meg ryan ) just put her father lou mozell ( walter matthau ) into a hospital . 
once upon a time , lou was a hollywood screenwriter who collaborated with his now-estranged wife . 
his one great moment in life was writing a film for john wayne , who gave him a giant bullet-shaped trophy . 
now lou is senile and deteriorating rapidly . 
eve tries to convince her sisters georgia ( diane keaton ) and maddy ( lisa kudrow ) that their father is dying and needs them . 
both are slow to show concern . 
so devoted eve stands vigil over her father , who constantly asks for his favorite daughter georgia , while running her own business ( planning special events ) and caring for her son ( jesse james ) . 
 ( some comic relief comes when maddy also drops off her ailing st . bernard for eve to care for . ) 
the tension builds until all three sisters are finally in one room at one of eve's events where georgia is the keynote speaker . 
there's a superficial resemblance to shakespeare's "" king lear "" ( senile king with three daughters : one devoted saint and two selfish bitches ) , but the material is apparently drawn from life . 
sister screenwriters delia and nora ephron had parents who were a successful hollywood writing team . 
henry and phoebe ephron collaborated on 17 screenplays , including "" desk set "" and "" there's no business like show business . "" 
 ( delia's novel , the basis for the film , is dedicated to henry ) . 
surprisingly , the script is as thin as an anorexic's wet dream . 
the virtue of a semi-autobiographical project would seem to be the wealth of material available . 
yet , the ephrons provide only the barest minimum of information about their characters . 
also , the spaces they inhabit seem artificial . 
eve lives in a house that looks like a magazine layout ; no matter how put-upon she is , we can't feel sorry for anyone whose house is so pristine on any given day . 
georgia is a famous magazine editor , and in her brief scenes while she chats on a cell phone with eve seem like the photo spread for a profile . 
when we first meet maddy , she's fishing at a picturesque mountain stream . 
i expected to see the credit "" cinematography by 'vanity fair . ' "" 
and , yes , diane keaton is literally old enough to be lisa kudrow's mother . 
to her credit , though , she looks young enough to pull it off . 
the one redeeming aspect of "" hanging up "" is that , at its core , is a truth about siblings . 
there's always one on which everyone else in the family relies , freeing the others to be selfish and emotionally distant . 
my wife is the reliable child in her family ; for better or worse , my brother has the role in mine . 
 ( being selfish and emotionally distant may not be fulfilling , but it is a lot less work ) . 
if you have nothing better to do than watch this movie , look for a powerful cameo by cloris leachman as the sisters' mother pat . 
in a devastating scene , eve discovers that her mother doesn't love her . 
although leachman is best known for comedies like "" young frankenstein "" and "" the mary tyler moore show , "" her performance here reminded me of the considerable dramatic talent she displayed in "" the last picture show . "" 
bottom line : everyone involved has lived in hollywood so long they don't recognize real life anymore . 
"
"-1","this is the worst movie i've seen since the "" so bad i walked out on it "" "" jingle all the way "" . 
it is crap on toast made of crap baked in a an oven fueled by crap . 
it is crap through and through . 
nothing works in this film , as to be expected from joel schumacher , who has made only one watchable film in his entire career ( that being "" cousins "" ) . 
here's a man who admits he's a medicore director , a rather charmingly self-effacing statement . 
but truth be told , he is much worse than mediocre . 
not all scorn should be heaped on schumacher though -- akiva goldsman should not be allowed to write ever again . 
there is no plot anywhere , and the "" dialogue "" is unrelentingly shallow , preposterous , and boring . 
they set up mr . freeze as a tragic figure trying to cure his cryogenically frozen wife , then completely sabotage his character by giving him the lamest one-liners . 
it turns him into a stock maniacal villain who thoroughly enjoys his villainy instead of a brooding scientist who has spent much of his life to bringing his wife from the brink of death . 
but that's par for course -- nothing in this film makes any sense , including half of arnold schwarzenegger's lines . 
as mr . freeze , arnold is given way too much dialogue to spit out at once . 
this is the same problem he had in "" jingle all the way "" , and it seems that his austrian accent is getting thicker and more unintelligible as the days pass . 
personally , i think that he has more pull with the directors and doesn't retake scenes to make him understandable . 
compare his dialogue in the terminator series to the load of nonsense that streams forth in "" batman & robin "" . 
apparently , james cameron knows how to get a competent performance out of arnold . 
uma thurman is not as bad , but nothing resembling good either . 
her poison ivy vamps around terribly , chewing up scenery left and right . 
and her pamela isley scenes are marred by sub-snl standard "" acting "" , as if she's reading off cue cards and is about to laugh at any given moment . 
given the "" script "" , it's a wonder it didn't happen more frequently . 
there is no redeeming feature in this film -- not george clooney as batman , chris o'donnell as robin , nor alicia silverstone as batgirl . 
michael gough is eerily sickly looking as alfred , as if the conceit of his illness was prompted by his cadaverous appearance . 
in fact , there was something unsettling about his appearance , which seems to have been accomplished without any make-up tricks , looking as if it were scenes from a documentary about a dying man . 
unfortunately , every scene about alfred's sickness is bungled with such incompetence that there is absolutely no emotional resonance -- they just go through the motions , losing whatever impact the scenes were supposed to impart . 
the movie is rife with poorly choreographed fights scenes that never give any sense of a big battle -- you know there's a bunch of people , but instead of a melee , schumacher decided to focus on a foot or a fist . 
there's never a moment of awe , wonder , or mayhem . 
the only interesting part of the battles scenes are the freezing effects , which are impressive ( and probably expensive ) . 
even then , the fights are so full of camp and stupidity that they become unwatchable . 
the hockey team from hell ? 
not even the tv series got that stupid ( at least not on the grand scale of stupidity that "" batman & robin "" showcases ) . 
frustrating too are the various supporting characters that walk on and off with nothing to say or do . 
blink , and you'll miss elle macpherson as julie madison , vivica fox as a "" why is she even in the film "" vamp in freeze's lair ( with all of two lines ) , and pat hingle as the most ineffectual commissioner gordan the batman series ever had . 
and in what almost seems like an effort to save on costs , vendela kirsebom has no lines as mrs . fries -- she isn't even filmed well enough to look good ( trust me , she's quite attractive outside of this dreck ) . 
and as if the film weren't bad enough to limp along with bad direction , bad dialogue , bad performances , and bad fight scenes , there are inconsistencies and illogic galore . 
i know it's nit-picky to ask where the hundreds of feet of cable are stored in the batarangs , why the character's arms aren't ripped out of their sockets when they accomplish a one-armed batarang save after falling hundreds of feet ( while holding on to another person no less ) , or where the moisture comes from when freeze's weapon creates tons if ice . 
that's all traditional comic book stuff . 
but why does batman spring a trap for freeze at a public charity event that endanger the lives of hundreds of by-standers ? 
why is there a big switch clearly marked , "" heat "" in mr . freeze's lair ? 
why do countless bumbling police officers even try to take on mr . freeze hand to hand ? 
why does alfred encourage silverstone to become batgirl and even go so far as to have a suit made for her ? 
why do batman & robin take 10 minutes to bicker before leaving the batcave in response to an emergency ? 
and since it established early on that ivy is using pheromones , why don't they wear masks to filter it out ? 
i could go on and on . 
 "" batman & robin "" is a braindead , pointless , garish , loud film that should still reign as the "" worst film of the year "" by the time 1998 rolls along . 
note to warner bros . -- if you're going to make another batman film , please replace schumacher with nearly anyone . 
because it could actually get worse than this . 
what schumacher does not understand is that "" comic book "" doesn't automatically equal unbearable idiocy . 
the true equation seems to be schumacher + batman = unbearable idiocy . 
"
"-1","when i ponder childhood memories past , one of the things that always springs immediately to mind is watching the "" inspector gadget "" tv show with my older brother . 
truth be told , we were rabid fanatics ; our version of cowboys and indians was chasing each other around our coffee table to the theme tune , alternating who would get to be gadget and who would be stuck playing the part of dr . claw , the inspector's arch nemesis . 
i was never a biggie on nostalgia , but you just can't help but have fond memories of something like that . 
sometimes i even find myself up at 4am watching re-runs of my favorite episodes , trying to recapture some of that sense of wonder i felt as a kid . 
at the very least , i was expecting the new film version of the classic television series to have at least some kind of similar effect on me . 
despite how horrid a film may be , the simple task of rekindling even a slight feeling of nostalgia is pretty tough to screw up . 
so back i sat , with minimum expectations of what the movie would deliver ( let's face it ; exactly how good can a live-action disney film really be ? ) . 
i was wise enough to steer clear from the likes of mr . magoo and george of the jungle ( two previous disney adaptations ) , and i wish to god that i had been sharp enough to skip gadget as well . 
rarely has a movie left me with such an utter feeling of emptiness . 
as everyone else was getting up to exit the screening room after the movie had completed its assault on mankind , i was left sitting there , absolutely speechless and totally dumbfounded at what i had just seen . 
can something this awful truly exist in such an evolved world ? 
right from the beginning , i knew i was in trouble . 
in the opening scenes , each character is introduced as if their sole purpose is to just be , to simply serve as real-life duplicates of their cartoon clones . 
when referring to them , people almost yell in fear that the audience will not catch on as to who a certain character is supposed to be ( "" oh , hi penny ! 
is brain with you ? "" ) . 
creating one-dimensional replicas is one thing ; having mere names take the place of them is quite another . 
the "" plot "" , shall we call it , stays fairly in tune with the original series . 
matthew broderick stars as john brown ( how creative is that ? ) , 
a security guard who is horribly injured by a pack of ruthless businessmen headed by scolex ( why , rupert everett , for the love of god why ? ? ? ! ! ! ) , who himself is transformed into claw by an unfortunate chain of events . 
brown is then rescued and used as a prototype for a new law-enforcement technology wherein he's joined with various machine parts and some nifty gadgets to form ( drumroll , please ) . . . 
inspector gadget ! 
>from here on out , the movie becomes a hodgepodge of stupid dialog and confusing situations ( although , to be fair , my confusion could have been caused by the virtual concussion the film was inflicting upon my fragile mind ) . 
there's something about an evil gadget taking over the city ( his first crime must have been swiping matt dillon's dentures from there's something about mary ) and it all ends with ( what else ? ) a bunch of post-credit nonsense and a cameo by don adams himself . 
to be honest , i wasn't much paying attention to these "" treats "" . 
i was just glad that it was over . 
"
"-1","perhaps if the impostors didn't have so much going for it , it wouldn't have been such a tremendous disappointment . 
written , directed , and produced by one of its two stars , stanley tucci , whose last picture was the indie smash hit , big night , the impostors almost never catches fire . 
sputtering like a two-day old campfire , the story plays like an ad-lib sketch that was never polished or completed . 
the film's other star , oliver platt , was hilarious as the senator's aide in bulworth . 
the bloated supporting cast is a veritable cornucopia of acting talent , including woody allen , steve buscemi , hope davis , alfred molina , campbell scott , lili taylor and tony shalhoub . 
all are wasted save allen , who plays a theatrical director who stares in disbelief at the bad acting before his eyes . 
 ( the audience will easily identify with allen's sentiments . ) 
with the exception of a single original joke involving mirror-imaged subtitles , the movie engenders little genuine laughter . 
the stale humor is so embarrassingly bad that you will find yourself laughing sporadically at the picture rather than with it . 
the plot for the movie involves two starving actors , maurice ( oliver platt ) and arthur ( stanley tucci ) , who accidentally end up on a cruise ship . 
in order to escape an angry shakespearean actor ( alfred molina ) , who is chasing them , they dress up as ship's stewards . 
the over-the-top script has the subtlety of a sledgehammer . 
when the leads hide from their pursuers , arthur covers maurice's mouth as he suffers an unending sneeze . 
at other times , we have the typical zany comedy routine where everyone chases everyone else , while darting in and out of staterooms . 
with the film's chapters introduced like placards at a vaudeville stage , it is clear the movie wants to be taken as farce . 
the press notes describes how everyone that came on the set remarked at what a good time all of the actors were having . 
too bad they weren't more concerned with the audience's potential enjoyment . 
the jokes , frequently framed in silence , fall like stones with such intensity that one can almost hear them hitting the ground . 
one wonders if anyone ever viewed the film's dailies . 
surely , if they had , they would have realized what leaden results they were producing . 
it is tricky having good actors play bad ones , but , if they couldn't pull it off , they should have just given up . 
 "" the show is over for this fella , "" steve buscemi's character says towards the end . 
the mystery is why they didn't all give up in the beginning . 
there must have been a better script somewhere for such a wonderful cast . 
the impostors runs 1 : 42 . 
it is rated r for a little profanity and would be fine for kids around 12 and up . 
"
"-1","this was the last carry on movie ( if you discount 'carry on columbus' as a carry on movie ) and was made by a new production company . 
based in central london , this movie is about the attempts by emmanuelle prevert ( suzanne danielle ) to bed her husband emile the french ambassador ( kenneth williams ) . 
when he seems unwilling , she is given his permission to bed anyone she likes , such as the prime minister and the u . s . ambassador . 
her antics get her into trouble and the british press spread these rumours all over their front pages . 
she is invited to talk on television to set the record straight but only confirms the rumours instead . 
meanwhile , theodore valentine ( larry dann ) is in love with emmannuelle after a chance encounter in the toilet of the concorde and is determined to marry her . 
however , she is only interested in restoring her husband's ardour which seems a little difficult after emile's accident with a church spire ! 
this film is the second worst carry on movie , the worst being 'carry on england' . 
it is embarassing to see some of the remaining regulars struggle through this diabolical script by lance peters and try to pull off some of the crude and tasteless jokes that he has written . 
newcomers suzanne danielle and beryl reid ( as mrs . valentine ) are mildly funny , but larry dann as theodore is excruciatingly bad . 
kenneth williams only appears in a few scenes and his lacklustre performance is warranted , given the script . 
the small parts for jack douglas as lyons the butler , joan sims as mrs . dangle , kenneth connor as leyland the chauffeur , and peter butterworth as richmond , are worthless and embarassing . 
in fact , all four parts are surplus to requirements . 
however , the only humourous scene in the film is when the four of them and emmannuelle talk about their most amourous escapades . 
an awful script , a terrible collection of jokes , very poor production values ( especially the scene where emmannuelle takes her clothes off at st . james palace ) , a ludicrous and cringeworthy musical score , and a non-existent plot or storyline . 
its just a succession of awful set pieces about who emmannuelle will bed next ! 
jack douglas is not so annoying but is more boring , joan sims and peter butterworth are wasted , and kenneth connor and kenneth williams put in some poor performances as leyland and emile . 
a complete waste of time , this movie was trying to catch up with the new sexually permissive seventies . 
it was a certificate 15 film but by 1978 , there was little interest in this kind of film and it flopped at the box office and was only given its premiere on uk terrestrial television in april 1998 ! 
avoid at all costs ! 
"
"-1","if you're debating whether or not to see _breakfast_of_champions_ , ask yourself one simple question : do you want to see nick nolte in lingerie ? 
the only people who would get much enjoyment from alan rudolph's chaotic adaptation of the kurt vonnegut novel is the cross-section of the population with the unhealthy urge to see that unpleasant sight . 
everyone else--and i'm hoping that's most people--would be wise to steer clear of this excrutiatingly unfunny mess . 
actually , though , the sight of nolte in high heels is one of the more amusing things about this muddle , which focuses dwayne hoover ( bruce willis ) , the owner of dwayne hoover's exit 11 motor village in midland city . 
not only is he a huge success as a businessman , he's also something of a celebrity , his face made recognizable by an ongoing series of television commercials . 
with a nice home and family to boot , dwayne appears to have it all the ingredients to be happy--yet he's not . 
his wife celia ( barbara hershey ) is perpetually in a pill-induced haze ; his son george ( lukas haas ) is a flamboyant lounge singer who goes by the stage name "" bunny . "" 
not only that , the environmental protection agency is on dwayne's ass over a building development project . 
it's enough to send dwayne on a nervous breakdown--that is , if he doesn't succeed in blowing his brains out first . 
meanwhile , midland city is about to host a fine arts festival , and the guest of honor is one kilgore trout ( albert finney ) , a writer who is far from the renowned author the festival's organizer ( buck henry ) was led to believe--in fact , he's a penniless hack who writes second-rate sci-fi that appears in porn magazines . 
his trek to midland city is also a spiritual journey , one that reaches its apex after meeting dwayne , who for some reason thinks that trout will hold for him all of life's answers . 
the above is already a longer plot synopsis than i usually give in my reviews , but , ironically , i have barely scratched the surface . 
i haven't yet mentioned wayne hoobler ( omar epps ) , an ex-con with an obsessive admiration for the similarly-named dwayne . 
then there's the matter of francine ( glenne headly ) , dwayne's devoted secretary . 
not to mention dwayne's employee and old friend harry lesabre ( nolte ) , the one with the secret penchant for cross-dressing . 
and so on . 
the film is essentially dwayne's story , but too often rudolph goes on distracting tangents with the eccentric peripheral players that one often wonders what the point is . 
rudolph does arrive at a point ( more on that later ) , but it's blunted and obscured by his hyperactive approach to the material . 
the surreal visual style , complete with printed words flying through the air and into dwayne's ears , is obviously meant to convey a sense of madness , but its bludgeoning nature is likely to make viewers mad . 
the actors are called on to act accordingly , resulting in some of the worst , most overdone work all of them have ever turned in . 
willis fares best of all--but that's because his frozen expression of befuddled bewilderment mirrors that of the audience . 
with such an aggressively outrageous atmosphere for nearly all of its running time , it comes as a shock when things suddenly turn serious , and rudolph tries to make a statement . 
unlike _american_beauty_ ( a film that _breakfast_ resembles in more than a few ways , to its great detriment ) , there isn't any palpably earnest undercurrent that would prepare the audience for the big shift . 
as such , the cartoony characters fail to win a sympathy that needs to be earned ; and the film attempts , to no avail , to reach a profundity that it doesn't deserve . 
vonnegut's original novel is considered a classic , but it had been called unfilmable--the same that was said of hunter s . thompson's _fear_and_loathing_in_las_vegas_ , which was disastrously committed to film last year by terry gilliam . 
with the similar failure of _breakfast_of_champions_ , will hollywood ever learn that books labeled "" unfilmable "" inevitably results in a film that is unwatchable ? 
likely not . 
"
"-1","suicide is pointless , everyone should know that . 
so what's this movie like ? 
you guessed it . . . 
pointless . 
the virgin suicides focuses on the lives of the five lisbon sisters , from the perspective of the teenage boys who are fascinated by them . 
when the youngest lisbon sister commits suicide , it sets in motion a series of events that will change the lives of many people forever . 
that's what the press materials for the film probably say . 
now here's what i say : the virgin suicides is a huge waste of time . 
boring , arty , pretentious junk that is about as entertaining as . . . 
well as committing suicide . 
the movie lost me early on , immediately following the scene where the younger daughter jumps to her death from her bedroom window . 
the girl's father ( james woods ) holds her lifeless body in his arms as their horrified family looks on . 
then , as the scene ends , the lawn sprinklers come on . 
is that a joke ? 
is that supposed to be amusing in some way ? 
from then on , the movie failed to draw me back in . 
performances are the only saving grace of the virgin suicides . 
woods plays the only character who would actually interest me when he came onscreen , but the performance of kirsten dunst as the next youngest daughter lux is worth mentioning as well . 
dunst has the potential to be a big star , if she chooses her projects well . 
and while this film is awful , she manages to come away from it virtually unscathed . 
there are also a few cameos in the film here and there , which only frustrate the audience as they leave you wanting more . 
as a result , they all seem rather pointless ( although there's a brief role given to michael pare from eddie and the cruisers which turns out to be his best role since . . . 
well since eddie and the cruisers ) . 
perhaps the virgin suicides would have worked had the story not been told from the point of view of people who had very little access to the main characters . 
we never get any significant insight into the girls and why they might be feeling what they're feeling . 
all we really know is that mrs . lisbon ( kathleen turner ) is strict and keeps them on a short leash . 
what mother doesn't ? 
it's certainly no reason to commit suicide . 
with the godfather part iii , sofia coppola proved that she had no business being in front of the camera . 
with the virgin suicides , she proves she has no business behind it either . 
having family connections doesn't entitle you to be allowed to make movies . 
so attention film directors . . . 
stop letting your daughters pout their way into the industry . 
just because they share your dna doesn't mean they share your talent . 
[r] 
"
"-1","the realm of science fiction has always been an allegory of political and or moral sensibilities . 
the best tales of the genre deal with mankind's struggle for survival or knowledge . 
such popular and noteworthy tomes as "" stranger in a strange land "" by robert heinlein , "" childhood's end "" by arthur c . clarke and "" man in the high castle "" and "" do androids dream of electric sheep "" by philip k . dick all deal with man's need for identity and struggle for self worth . 
hollywood has regularly adapted the milieu ( if not the message ) of science fiction since it's beginnings . 
most films just created fancy pulp tales with no more thought that the escapism they achieved . 
it really wasn't until producer george pal , took charge of robert heinlein's novel "" rocketship galileo "" and crafted the film "" destination moon "" , that 'sci-fi' ( as it is commonly referred to ) , came into it's own . 
from there , such diverse filmmakers as roger corman to stanley kubrick , have sought to express ideas through the medium of the genre . 
with the release of touchstone pictures "" mission to mars "" , we have an unabashedly nonchalant sci-fi film for those who read the national enquirer and the globe . 
the film opens on a summer barbecue , as phil ohlmyer ( jerry o'connell ) woos a young female with his tales of space glory and the upcoming mission . 
woody blake ( tim robbins ) and his wife terri ( connie nielsen ) commit to his coming authority on the mission , and luc goddard ( don cheadle ) consoles his son . 
entering the party is jim mcconnell ( gary sinise ) , who gave up command of the mission due to the untimely death of his wife , maggie ( kim delaney ) . 
luc consoles jim with woody's assistance . 
the three men are friends and carry a fine bond of trust and caring between them . 
but jim still longs to set foot on the red planet . 
the mission is in earnest as luc and his team land in the cydonia region of mars . 
they send out the rover to investigate the area and discover what seems to be water or ice under the surface . 
going out to investigate , luc and his team approach the famed 'face on mars' . 
a strange noise emanates from the rock . 
as the team tries to scan through the rock with radar , a violent wind storm erupts , creating a vortex that kills all members of the team , save for luc . 
back on the space station orbiting earth , woody and jim receive the information that the mars landing team is missing . 
luc's interference laden emergency message urges the two men to attempt a second mission to the red planet in the hopes of rescuing the previous team . 
the second journey to the martian world is fraught with danger . 
meteorite showers , explosions , and rescues all come into play as the intrepid heroes make there way to the planet's surface . 
the big question is , is there now or has there ever been intelligent life on mars . 
and if so , what is its relationship with us ? 
now for the bad news . 
the entire plot of "" mission to mars "" is based almost wholeheartedly on outdated and preposterous national enquirer type martian civilization tripe . 
the famed 'face on mars' becomes the centerpiece of the film , revealing some of the most harebrained sci-fi pabulum the screen has witnessed . 
borrowing ideas from such films as "" robinson crusoe on mars "" ( 1964 ) , quatermass and the pit ( 1967 ) , "" 2001 : a space odyssey "" , and even mario bava's "" planet of the vampires "" ( 'terrore nello spazio' ) ( 1965 ) , "" mission to mars "" is a hodgepodge of ideas that don't add up to a satisfying whole . 
while some sequences are wonderfully handled and executed , the film remains flat and un-involving . 
so much time is giving to establishing the lead characters in the film , but to no good use . 
the performances are all workmen like , with only don cheadle ( as luc ) carrying any sort of real chemistry . 
gary sinise is wasted in role that requires him to look as if he is experiencing sleep depravation . 
and the mistaken idea of having jerry o'connell ( as phil ohlmyer ) play his part for comic relief is just too painful to excuse . 
and the less said about tim robbins called in from home performance the better . 
he's just having too much fun here to give a damn . 
the script has a few lapses , namely that after discovering several breaches in the hull of the ship caused by a meteorite shower , no one thinks of checking the fuel tanks or the remainder of the ship for damage . 
this of course leads to our heroes having to abandon their rescue ship . 
also , when one character sacrifices himself , the character takes on a religious demeanor that is completely at odds with the situation . 
but the biggest offence in the film is the horrid , intrusive score by ennio morricone . 
subtlety is non-existent here . 
in fact in some scenes the music becomes so extravagant that dialogue is almost drowned out . 
the only sequence in which the score almost works is during the protracted meteorite shower . 
the pacing of the film is very leisurely . 
after the opening introduction of the characters ( which lasts a full 22 minutes ) , we are finally dropped onto the martian surface . 
then , there is another long pause in the plot for more character development , including an elaborate dance sequence in zero gravity . 
the film could lose about 30 minutes and actually gain some momentum . 
there are so many scenes of talking heads , discussing what we already know is going to happen , that it drags the film to a dead stop . 
the good news is that the film is absolutely sumptuous to look at . 
the vistas of the planet mars are majestic and awe inspiring . 
the design of the numerous spacecraft and suits are all expertly drafted , with a level of realism that hasn't been seen since "" 2001 : a space odyssey "" . 
the visual effects are just stunning , from the space walk sequences , to the visualization of evolution on earth . 
the only fault come with the martians themselves , which look more like something out of a plastic model kit than something from another world . 
director de palma stages some wonderfully creative scenes through out the film . 
the opening sequence alone in a seemingly un-interrupted cut lasting almost 15 minutes ( an homage' to hitchcock's "" rope "" ) , as we are introduced to all of the characters . 
scenes in the rescue ship , with its rotating centrifuge , are just amazing in their execution . 
but the nagging question , is the final explanation worth all of this sturm und drang . 
sadly it is not . 
director brian de palma has crafted an extravagant production . 
the set design and visual effects are all arresting . 
but it's the comic strip denouncement that ruin what might have been a fine return to good adventurous , thought provoking science fiction . 
a disappointing film , but one that might still entertain if you can settle for the visuals . 
"
"-1","back in february at the monthly los angeles comic book and science fiction convention , new line cinema put on a lavish presentation for its big-screen update of the cult 1960s sci-fi tv show lost in space , complete with in-person appearances by cast members mimi rogers , matt leblanc , lacey chabert , jack johnson , and even gary oldman . 
that should have set off my warning alarms--the last time such an extravagant film presentation took place at the convention was nearly five years ago , when none other than arnold schwarzenegger made an in-person cameo to peddle . . . 
last action hero . 
but no , like millions of others , i bought into the hype and "" got lost . "" 
if only i had gotten lost--literally--on the way to theatre and spared myself the tedium of this sloppily slapped-together blockbuster wannabe . 
you may find yourself wondering if director stephen hopkins and screenwriter akiva goldsman were lost themselves when they made the film . 
at the convention , goldsman claimed to be a rabid fan of the original television series , and if that really is the case , i'd hate to see what he does with concepts he only has mild interest in . 
to say that his script lacks narrative cohesion is to imply that there is a narrative to begin with--which there most certainly is not . 
after the setup , in which the robinson family--father john ( william hurt , looking and sounding as spaced out as he does in interviews ) , mother maureen ( rogers , wasted ) , daughters judy ( heather graham , ditto ) and penny ( a heavily made-up chabert , looking like a junior version of neve campbell in wild things ) , and son will ( young newcomer johnson , making the best of it ) --and pilot don west ( leblanc , doing a bad han solo impression ) find themselves lost in space after their ship is sabotaged by evil stowaway dr . smith ( a watered-down but still-lively oldman , cashing a paycheck and loving every minute ) , the script's "" stream "" of events becomes so fragmented and random that it seems to be made up as it goes along--and hopkins does little to make what does go on the slightest bit interesting . 
they encounter another ship . 
they board it . 
alien spiders attack them . 
they return to their ship . 
the other one explodes . 
they land on a deserted planet . 
and so on . 
an attempt at a plot involving time travel occurs in the third act , but goldsman doesn't seem to understand the rules that come with using such a story device ; when one character's past self dies , the future incarnation inexplicably lives on . 
the look and effects should be lost in space's ace-in-the-hole , but hopkins even manages to botch that . 
for a big-budget film , the visual effects are incredibly shoddy . 
in one composite background shot , i could see the blue outline around oldman ; the various digital effects for the space battle scenes look like . . . 
digital effects . 
but nothing in those shots is as jaw-droppingly unconvincing as blawp , a monkey-like space creature that becomes penny's pet . 
entirely computer-generated and every inch showing it , blawp looks like it was lifted directly from a sony playstation game . 
apparently hopkins thought the same and tried desperately to hide it ; how else can one explain the graininess of blawp's composite shots with the human actors ? 
but in doing so , the seams are that much more obvious . 
you have to be severely visually impaired to not be distracted when a grainy shot of penny and blawp is immediately followed by a crystal-clear solo reaction shot of judy . 
new line is hoping lost in space will become a big franchise much like the long-running star trek cash cow at paramount . 
i don't think so . 
in a few years , the lost in space movie will likely live on not as a series but as the obscure answer to a trivia question : what film ended titanic's 15-week reign at the top of the weekend box office ? 
"
"-1","the working title for no looking back was long time , nothing new , and rarely has there been a more apt name for a motion picture . 
even though this movie clocks in at a relatively skinny 96 minutes , it seems to run long enough to engulf two titanics . 
writer/director edward burns has trotted out a hackneyed storyline , the trajectory of which will be instantly recognizable to anyone who hasn't spent their life in seclusion . 
instead of tweaking the formula a little to invigorate the proceedings , burns is content to allow the film to ramble aimlessly towards its irritatingly predictable conclusion , offering precious few momentary pleasures along the way . 
no looking back is dominated by three very dislikable characters whose constant presence on the screen is painful . 
the most appropriate ending would have been a triple suicide , and the sooner , the better . 
alas , that's not the case , and those who stick with this film for its entire length will be forced to endure the prolonged company of this wretched trio . 
and , to further depress audiences , burns has shot the entire film on cold , rainy days in a gray new york state beach town . 
peeks of sunshine are few and far between . 
no wonder the characters are all so miserable . 
first of all , we have charlie ( burns ) , a generation x slacker who abandoned his girlfriend three years ago after she had an abortion , then spent some time bumming around in california before deciding to come home . 
that girlfriend is claudia ( lauren holly ) , and , after picking up the pieces of her life following charlie's departure , she has moved on , shacking up with one of charlie's old school buddies , mike ( jon bon jovi ) . 
the two have a comfortable relationship , but it's apparent to even a blind person that they're not right for each other . 
claudia years for some spice in her life ; mike wants to settle down and have children . 
then charlie re-enters the mix . 
so who , if anyone , will claudia end up with ? 
who cares ? ? 
no looking back goes to extraordinary lengths to make sure that we're not especially interested in the outcome of the romantic triangle . 
so what if no one finds happiness -- these characters don't deserve it anyway , especially after wasting 90 minutes of our time . 
they aren't real people -- they're a writer's construct stumbling through a too-obvious storyline . 
they should know the ending as well as we do . 
and burns should have given his audience more credit and presented them with a plot that at least offered a surprise or two . 
another frustrating thing about no looking back is that burns has populated the film with a group of potentially-interesting supporting characters . 
blythe danner is solid as claudia's housebound mother , connie britton is suitably high-strung as claudia's neurotic sister , and jennifer esposito is eye-catching as a bartender in search of a little romance . 
sadly , all we get is quick glimpses into their lives , although a movie about any of them would have been far more intriguing than the story burns has chosen to tell . 
none of the lead performers are going to wow critics with their thespian attributes . 
edward burns is pushing the edge of his limited range here . 
jon bon jovi shows more acting ability than one might reasonably expect from a singer branching into a different career , but he could still use a little polish . 
the worst case is lauren holly , who presents a completely bland claudia . 
as portrayed here , she's hardly the kind of woman who would inspire even a moment's interest , not to mention undying love . 
burns' ex , the monumentally untalented maxine bahns , would have been hard-pressed to do a less inspired job . 
when he released the brothers mcmullen , edward burns was revered as the wunderkind of the 1995 sundance film festival ( robert redford has apparently stuck with him -- the aging actor/director executive produced this mess ) . 
two films and three short years later , the luster has faded . 
some movie makers have only one good film in them . 
with back- to-back duds like she's the one and no looking back to follow the delightful brothers , burns is beginning to look like a member of that undistinguished club . 
"
"-1","the job of the film critic is to see a movie and write a review of it that tells you what it's about and why it's good or bad . 
i feel kind of embarrassed to admit this , but i after having seen "" get carter "" i really can't tell you what it's about although i could go on and on about how and why it's a bad movie . 
 "" get carter "" falls into that category of ? movies that continue to be made for reasons unknown to anyone outside of a hollywood executive board room . 
you might call them the "" steven seagal/mickey rourke/jean-claude van damme/wesley snipes school of mediocre action/crime thrillers . "" 
you know - the potboilers that are heavy on fistfights , shoot-outs and car chases but really light on plot and character development . 
they have stories where the so-called hero just keeps running into characters who have some connection to one of the other characters who are all antagonists without a reason for being in the movie other than to give the protagonist someone to fight , chase or shoot at . 
sylvester stallone stars as jack carter , a las vegas-based mob enforcer who returns home * for his brother's funeral . 
he believes his brother ? richie was "" taken out "" and didn't die from a dwi accident . 
carter's one of the most cliche bad-asses ever captured on celluloid . 
his face alone is pretty intimidating and there's quite a few scenes in which he leans on both regular citizens and criminal lowlives simply by staring them down and speaking with confidence in his "" rambo-on-testosterone-therapy "" voice . 
stallone's performance in this movie is so forced and unnatural he doesn't realize he's mocking himself . 
the actual story involves carter's investigation into his brother richie's death . 
he's in a town that's not his but somehow the local top dogs know him very well . 
mickey rourke co-stars as one of these characters , a sort of crime boss who has something to do with running a porno web site and blackmailing a young internet tycoon ( played by alan cummings looking and acting a lot like pee wee herman ) . 
there's also another plot involving richie's mistress , a secret cd-rom with some convicting and disturbing evidence on it and something terrible involving one of carter's still-living relatives . 
i'm rolling my eyes just thinking about trying to critique all this in a way that could be remotely comprehendible . 
i could just rip the screenplay to shreds , plus the direction or the editing or the production values but that would require discussion of nearly every scene in order to explain it all . 
i don't like to put spoliers in my reviews either intentionally or accidentally . 
yes , "" get carter "" is just that complicated and complex . 
and what's worse is that it's not this intricate to make it seem smart like "" the usual suspects "" for example - just the opposite . 
you get the feeling whoever wrote this script did it in short intervals spaced far apart and they probably didn't remember what had already happened and didn't figure out how each scene would lead in to the next one or how the major plot points would work towards the climax . 
all you really need to know is that most of the film is just scenes of carter tracking down one scumbag or supposed witness after another , asking them what they know , getting information and then realizing that if he wasn't a complete idiot he could have figured it out in the first five minutes . 
although the supporting characters are equally stupid themselves since they tell him everything which comes back to haunt them in one violent way or another . 
making a movie entirely about criminals doesn't necessarily mean they have to be unlikable and cliche cutout characters . 
mel gibson starred in "" payback "" a few years ago that had a story not unlike this one but had such a good screenplay you couldn't help but like him even though he was just as bad a guy as jack carter . 
so ultimately "" get carter "" fails for pretty much every selling point it has . 
carter is not a likable character and you really don't care if he gets revenge or not . 
the action sequences are not at all exciting or original . 
the enemies and their massive conspiracy are not threatening at all ( c'mon , you know who's going to win every brawl and shoot-out and car chase ) . 
in the end you don't feel nearly satisfied with the results . 
the filmmakers did a good job in doing everything as unoriginal as possible . 
 * the city is never mentioned by name but i assume it's seattle since all the cars have washington license plates and it's always raining . 
"
"-1","i've got to admit it . . . 
i'm a huge jim carrey fan . 
i loved the first ace ventura , as well as the mask and dumb and dumber--and even in batman forever ( which was a pretty awful movie ) , carrey was one of the few people to come off looking reasonably good . 
until i saw ace ventura 2 , i had no idea how people could find the guy annoying . 
sadly , ace ventura 2 shows just how irritating and annoying carrey can be . 
carrey goes through the same schtick he went through in the first ace movie , but this time it is no longer funny--it is just a rehash of many of the same jokes used in ace i . 
the plot sees pet detective ace ventura retiring after failing to save a raccoon ( in a reasonable cliffhanger spoof ) . 
soon he is called out of retirement to find a bat which was kidnapped and , if not returned in four days , will cause two warring african tribes to destroy each other . 
once again , it's up to ace to save the day , using his uncanny detective skills . 
those who have been disappointed by carrey's more restrained roles in the films following the first ace ventura may be glad to see him over-acting to the best of his ability , but some may be disappointed by the fact that this sequel doesn't capture the feel of the original . 
the original benefited from what looked to be carrey's constant hyped-up improv sequences , which were hysterically funny . 
here , however , the tighter script ( which is reminiscent of the old disney telemovies ) takes the improvised material from the first , and shamelessly recycles it in the new movie , giving carrey little chance to improvise . 
instead , his extremely funny manner has been reduced to just walking around stupidly . 
but one of the biggest problems i had was with the character of ventura himself . 
in the first movie , he was always cool , and one step ahead of every one else--perfect for carrey's off-the-wall approach . 
but here , ventura is made to look a lot stupider , and is often made out as the straight guy--a role which is definitely not carrey's style . 
there are definitely some very funny moments , but they are few and far between . 
they are also nowhere near as funny as anything carrey did in the first ace ventura , or even dumb and dumber . 
"
"-1","for about twenty minutes into mission impossible 2 director john woo ( the killer , hard boiled , face off ) appears to have made an exciting , elegant , charming spy thriller , kind of a post millennium james bond adventure with a strapping american ( read : unsophisticated ) hero more willing to drop kick villains than out fox them . 
sadly , as the picture progresses , the final product begins to bear a closer resemblance to a souped up , two-hour long episode of magyuver . 
and not a particularly good one at that . 
what went wrong ? 
mi2 begins flashily enough , that initial flash leading us to believe that it'll soon give way to something of a plot , but it only gives way to more flash , then digresses further into a presumably unintentional parody of itself with much slo mo posturing and countless action set pieces wherein bad guys seem to deliberately leap into the way of tom cruise's firing gun just so they can die really cool . 
early on , during a car chase between soon to be lovers ethan hunt ( tom cruise ) and nyah nordoff-hall ( thandie newton ) , woo works some of his trademark magic . 
in one hypnotic , though completely inexplicable sequence , the director slows the action down to a languid semi-stall as cruise and his stunning opponent stare into one and other's eyes with come hither sexuality ? ? ? just as their respective cars smash and spin in accordance , coming ever so close to toppling over a neighboring cliff . 
prior to this we see the famed trailer opener of cruise climbing a steep mountain , sans scaffolding , then leaping from one jagged rock formation to another . 
why ? 
i haven't the foggiest . 
i doubt even john woo could provide you with a logical reply . 
with mi2 woo has become a slave to the summer movie machine , the one that jettisons logic for gravity defying effects and story for more gravity defying effects . 
it's possible that these "" spies "" could be adrenaline junkies climbing mountains and crashing into each other as means to get off , though of course this is never explored . 
the scenes i've described are really only included to titillate , not to give any insight into character . 
god forbid . 
woo certainly knows how to make each set piece energetic , but they remain individual set pieces never connecting to form anything more than splices of beer commercial-like visuals . 
still in terms of crackerjack eye candy , the opening has much to cherish . 
cruise and newton first meet during a vigorous flamenco dance featuring several welcome woo devices ( the graceful slow mo artistry of synchronized movement juxtaposed against the stage 1 romance of two attractive individuals discovering how attractive the other is ) . 
between the frantic dancing , woo trains his camera on cruise and newton as they make with some sensuous eye contact . 
the scene is a little over the top in a bon jovi music video circa 1988 kind of way , yet it has style and something of soul , and woo casts a bit of a spell on us . 
sure it's all smoke and mirrors , but we can see that there happens to be a talented maestro behind this particular product . 
thandie and cruise later meet in a bathtub in a scene that's about half as playfully charming as the jennifer lopez \ george cloony trunk meeting in out of sight . 
they flirt and exchange obvious double entendres . 
newton bats her eyes flirtatiously . 
cruise grins a little too slyly . 
the cruise character , ethan hunt , has been drastically altered since the first film . 
here cruise plays him more as a hip , sexual dynamo than the square jawed robot he impersonated in part 1 . 
he's cool and dashing , which is precisely the kind of role we want to see cruise in after watching him sleep walk through eyes wide shut ( which might just be the longest episode of red show diaries ever committed to film ) , and blustered his way through magnolia ( quite possibly the most overrated performance of the 90's ) . 
sadly as the film progresses we see less of cruise's initial "" i'm the man ! "" 
charm and more slo-mo close-ups of his preening mug . 
mi2 falls apart on nearly every level during its repetitious third act , which is essentially one hour long action sequence that just won't stop . 
the whole thing commences with an utterly generic gun battle ( the first gun fight in the film ) , which really should be unheard of in a john woo film , but alas this particular battle could've been staged by anyone from renny harlin to joseph merhi ( of course excepting the "" symbolic "" pigeons who seem to find their way into every john woo picture ) . 
we've all seen guys slide across the floor in slo mo while firing a gun in each hand . 
it isn't done any differently here . 
the action is pure hard target \ broken arrow theatrics with nothing to propel it but the apparent need to see tom cruise drop kick face less villains while his hair whips stylishly in the wind . 
he's cool for sure but he's made to be as empty as the movie . 
the actor isn't used so much for his boyish appeal as for his chiseled looks ; he smiles narcissistically into the camera at literally any moment , be it during a gunfight , before one or after one . 
when he's not beaming away , he's staring into the lens with cold eyes trying to look mad as hell , but woo's editing seriously undermines the effort . 
he fetishizes cruise's angular face with such glee that it turns into a naked gun style spoof . 
i half expected cruise to peel off his facemask and reveal that he's really austin powers . 
in a classic woo action moment , ethan hunt struts past a fiery doorway glaring at the baddies within its frame like a pin-up boy angel of death . 
the gunfight turns into a daring escape which turns into a reckless mission which turns into a motorcycle attack in which bad guys seem to angle directly for cruise to kill them like some kind of mass suicide ritual ( one dumb bastard even jumps his bike over the gun toting cruise , basically inviting our handsome hero to shoot him in mid air which he does ) . 
the lead bad guy ( played by the appropriately british dougray scott ) and cruise face off in a mentally deficient game of chicken ? ? ? on motorcycles . 
though instead of jumping off to the side at the last moment , the two grown men leap directly into the other giving each other a mid air bear hug , only to fly about a hundred feet ( still in bear hug position ) , land on a beach below and begin a mano-e-mano fist fight that ends with the bad guy pulling a "" so you thought i was dead . . . "" . 
not to worry , cruise takes care of the problem without even breaking a sweat . 
what a hero ! 
you may have noticed that i opted not to describe an iota of mi2's plot . 
my reasoning is simple : i'm not sure of any good it would do . 
the film itself has absolutely no concern with story , only with hurtling forth to the next "" special "" effect . 
i wasn't kidding when i told a friend of mine that mi2 has less plot than the average aerosmith video . 
nobody will go to this for the plot , and if they do they'll surely regret it . 
as summer movies evolve ( or devolve ) character and plot have become increasingly whittled down to nearly nothing . 
in mi , the plot seemed to be built around brian de palma's ( that film's director ) stylistic flourishes , while in mi2 the plot only serves to give us an intermittent breather from woo's non-stop masturbatory pandemonium . 
it's irrelevant in every sense , as is character . 
all that ultimately matters are those pesky smoke and mirrors . 
"
"-1","every now and then , reviewers are faced with the films that are hard to be properly reviewed . 
most of the time it happens with films that leave so overwhelming impact , either good or bad , that in the end reviewers must work hard to express his thoughts or feelings . 
but , sometimes it can happen for rather trivial reasons . 
i love trouble happened to be one of such occasions for the author of this review . 
the impression left by the film wasn't overwhelming - on the contrary , there were hardly any impression at all , since i had real trouble keeping myself awake while watching it . 
which surprise me to this day , because the movie theatre was full , i was close to sound speakers , the show wasn't late and i didn't lack sleep before the show . 
such things happen very rarely to me , and , after many years , the closest thing to solution to this mystery is probably the quality of the film itself . 
the plot revolves around two rival chicago reporters - old peter brackett ( nick nolte ) and young , aspiring sabrina peterson ( julia roberts ) . 
two of them are assigned to cover the train collision . 
as soon as they meet , they start scooping each other , but during the process they both discover sinister plot involving cancerogenic milk , and also the romantic feelings they have for each other . 
the plot in this film is rather secondary to its real raison d' ? tre - romantic pairing reminiscent of classical screwball comedies starring spencer tracy and katharine hepburn . 
movie author , director and screenwriter charles shyer , who had some experiences with turning the screwball spirit into modern setting with father of the bride , tries again , this time pairing old nick nolte with young julia roberts . 
however , although there is some chemistry between the two , soon it stops to arouse any interest . 
it probably happens due to poorly executed genre mix , that collides light-hearted romantic comedy with rather uninteresting plot suitable to pure action thrillers . 
shyer as director fails to make the proper transition between the two , and fails in both areas , making the story cliched and predictable . 
the end result is rather forgettable effort , which convinced me not to watch movie again . 
i'll give it the benefit of the doubt , though . 
"
"-1","the only two really good things that i can say about tarzan and the lost city are as follows : jane march was very cute as jane , and the movie was thankfully under 90 minutes in length . 
if you haven't already figured it out , i didn't like this movie very much . 
the plot was boring and contrived to the extreme . 
tarzan ( casper van dien ) has now left the jungle and living in civilized society . 
he is just days away from his impending marriage to jane , played by the aptly named jane march . 
back in his former home of africa , a group of looters has found the key to locating a lost city . 
 ( mind you i never really figured out why they actually wanted to find this city . ) 
anyway , tarzan's old jungle friend appears to him in a vision . 
tarzan realizes that he must return to africa to help stop the bad guys from finding the lost city . 
he leaves jane ( his first mistake , in my opinion ) and travels to africa . 
of course , jane is hot on her ape man's heals . 
the two of them are reunited in africa where they do battle with the bad guys . 
sound like a dumb explanation of the plot ? 
it's actually an improvement over the real thing . 
the acting is just plain awful . 
i'm not quite sure what casper van dien was doing in this film , but it wasn't acting . 
jane march wasn't a heck of a lot better , but at least she is easy on the eyes . 
compounding the bad acting was the fact that in many places the dialogue had obviously been re-recorded , and i've seen better dubbing in some old bruce lee movies . 
added to the sound problems was the cinematography . 
this film was filled with beautiful african scenery . 
but the panoramic scenery shots looked overexposed to me . 
quite frankly , i think you could probably do a better job capturing the beauty of africa with a camcorder than this bunch did with professional film equipment . 
then we have the special effects . 
 "" special effects in a tarzan movie ? "" 
you are no doubt asking yourself ? 
yes friends , the writers injected some very out of place supernatural elements into the story . 
probably for the sake of using cgi , since it did nothing but hurt the story . 
in most parts , they weren't bad , just nothing special . 
but , they were more than a little on the hokey side . 
except of course , when we got to the ridiculous climax of this movie . 
the grand finale's special effects went right into the toilet at that point . 
it almost looked like they had run out of money . 
these effects were of noticeably lower quality than those in the rest of the film and looked like something in an amateur video production . 
i took one lesson away from watching tarzan and the lost city -- ape men and bones that morph into skeletal warriors don't mix . 
stay far away from this version of tarzan . 
"
"-1","silly performances and some huge gaps in logic mar an otherwise interesting tale of an eclectic group of people stranded at "" the last stop cafe and motel "" due to heavy snowfall . 
one of the stranded is a colorado state highway patrolman ( adam beach ) who discovers a murder scene and a bag full of cash from a recent bank robbery . 
someone amongst the group of strangers is a bank robber and a murderer , but is it the same person or are there multiple criminals ? 
adam beach unfortunately was the wrong choice for the lead in this film . 
he doesn't play the role with enough seriousness to be believable or enough goofiness for it to be funny . 
his performance is stuck somewhere in the middle , and this film really needed it to be on one side or the other . 
rose mcgowan is cold and unpleasant to the eye as always , and jurgen prochnow . . . 
what on earth is he doing in this ? 
best performance comes from william s . taylor as a cheesy ( yet still somehow cool and confident ) wayne newton drifter type . 
the last stop is available on dvd from sterling home entertainment . 
as usual with sterling , they've filled out this dvd with extra features . 
the disc contains the film in its original aspect ratio of 1 . 85 : 1 , a choice of 2 . 0 dolby surround sound or 5 . 1 dolby digital surround sound , a full length audio commentary track with director mark malone , interviews with the cast and crew , the original trailer , and the usual cast and crew biographies . 
the film itself might not be the greatest , but sterling's effort of adding decent extra features while keeping the price affordable ( suggested retail of $19 . 95 ) makes this dvd worth the money . 
[r] 
"
"-1","so i went and saw this film right , it was called "" battlefield : earth "" , i was never interested in the previews , and never too terribly interested in the book , nor do i find scientology interesting , but after reading advanced reviews of how bad this film really is , i had that weird urge just to watch it . 
well let me be the first to say , and so far in my view it's safe to say : battlefield : earth might be the worst film i have ever seen , yes even worse than "" mr . magoo "" , "" blue in the face "" , or "" jaws : the revenge "" . 
roger christianson whos credits include set direction , and art direction for such great films as "" alien "" and "" star wars "" , directs this film with such amateurism , that the film looks and feels and in fact sounds so dumb , that it's quite depressing . 
the look of the film , is dark and drabby at times , but then bright and happy at other times . 
the sound is terrible , and has the worst surround sound effects i've heard . 
the acting is nothing , the dialogue poor , and the make-up effects hideous . 
here's the so-called plot : earth 3000 . . . . man is a endangered species , while aliens from the planet psychlo ( the aliens are named psychlo . . . i 
wonder why ? ! ) are invading earth , destined to put an end to those "" man-animals "" to an end , and destroy earth once and for all , of course we have our typical hero ( played terrible by barry pepper , who was great in a small role in 1999's "" the green mile "" ) who is destined to go out , and save his planet ! 
one thing : he has to go up against , terl , the chief of security psychlo , who is played frankly , quite bad by john travolta , whom with dreadlocks , a big head , and green eyes just doesn't work . 
of course the sidekick to terl , is played by ( lol ! ! ) 
forest whitaker , who looks like a deformed werewolf of some kind . 
our friendly human johnny ( barry pepper ) looks just as bad as well , with long scraggly hair . 
i'm not really sure how to quite explain the badness of this film , except just to say it's terrible . 
everything in this film is imcomprehinsable , from the make-up effects , which by the way aren't good , to the phony looking special effects , everything in this film is faulted . 
in fact i don't remember one part in this entire movie where i was having a good time , or enjoying myself . 
in fact there is no part in the movie that i liked or enjoyed . 
throughout the entire 127 minute running time , i was dying , constantly looking at my watch , and hoping maybe the projectioner would blow a bulb or something , sadly it didn't . 
my advice to hollywood : get new scripts , new acting classes , better directors and damnit , make films like american beauty more . 
"
"-1","by phil curtolo "" madonna - antonio banderas - jonathan price - in an alan parker film - with music from andrew lloyd weber - and lyrics by tim rice - evita . "" 
now i have to admit , the trailer for this rock-opera-turned-major motion picture is almost breath-taking for some . 
the soundtrack is wonderful to listen to . 
so why wouldn't the movie be wonderful to see . 
simple , a little over 2 hours of constant singing can almost drive you insane . 
the story of eva duarte ( madonna ) , evita is full of drama that's trapped inside by all the notes and chords . 
she was an orphaned child who ends up becoming a hooker , then goes into the field of acting , and finally meets juan peron ( price ) , the soon-to-be first president of argentina . 
they fall in love and eventually marry . 
sounds pretty good , doesn't it . 
well the story gets better , as eva goes on the "" rainbow tour "" across europe , trying to win respect . 
eva duarte was a wonderful lady . 
however , all of the drama-packed moments above were never understood because the actors and actresses sang to fast to be understood . 
i went into theater 4 at magic cinemas with the attitude that evita was going to be terribly boring and i left with happy , because i was right . 
they only thing that kept me awake during the movie was the loud bangs of the drums and strums of the guitar . 
although it did come off as dull , the beautiful cinematography is eye-catching , as was madonna's performance . 
as the "" spiritual leader of argentina , "" madonna would have definitely been an oscar-contender had she spoken a single line . 
but her chance was taken away with the stubbornness of making an exact replica of the broadway musical a film . 
don't get me wrong and don't look at my grade . 
i am not a big fan of musicals on the big screen . 
if you're going to pay to see a movie , you want to see a movie . 
now i have to admit , it's a lot cheaper to pay $5 than $200 plus to see the play , but that's what did me in . 
all this review contains is my opinion and my grade was set before i even saw the movie . 
now you may be saying , "" what kind of critic is he ? , "" 
and you're right . 
as a critic , i should have given the movie a chance . 
but as a 17-year old quentin tarantino fan , it was way too hard . 
 , 
"
"-1","i have never seen a man so in love with himself than george lucas . 
with the overt success of the three original star wars films , lucas has become , not necessarily a filmmaker , but the head cheeze at a huge toy company , with the phantom menace the new product on the shelve . 
only this toy was made for $115 million , but every kid wants it , and , like all other expensive toys , falls apart within an hour after playing with it . 
the product in question , star wars episode 1 : the phantom menace ( jeez ! ) , is pure and simple : its about the money , baby ! 
no one in their right mind would create such a fiasco if they knew it wouldn't make a ton of money before its fourth week of release . 
i come to the sw franchise as a stranger , since i have absolutely no idea why the sw movies are so popular . 
i find them rather boring and full of nothing but eye candy . 
phantom menace is like the first sw , minus 10 . 
nothing in the whole concept is remotely enjoyable . 
even the special effects seem rather bland . 
the story in this new one is a mindless mess . . . the 
acting wooden . . . and the action sequences like something out of a video game . 
sw : phantom menace is one of the worst films of the year so far . 
with a title like sw e1 : tpm , lucas has one big head on those shoulders . 
i thought chris carter did for releasing an x-files movie , although , that movie adaptation was an excellent way to spend two hours . 
pm is one long headache . 
"
"-1","an affluent horse breeder's past comes up to haunt him ; an ages old cover-up and blackmail comes back to haunt him at the hands of one of his accomplices . 
that's pretty much the essence of the movie and i have to say that it becomes quite boring at times and is very slow . 
that aside the story was well presented and probably quite close and representative of its source . 
the acting in particular i found very good , the character development was also quite interesting but alas the story simply did not hold my interest enough for me to get into the movie . 
a few things about the story didn't sit very well with me for example the original scam and cover-up heavily involved the character played by sharon stone , yet in the end her character played a relatively small role and it seems she should have been utilized more to further the story along better . 
on the flip side the character played by catherine keener i found to be very interesting and i thought that it was developed very well and helped the story a lot . 
the character's aside this movie had some interesting merits but in the end it lacked in story and pacing . 
as far as the acting and casting for this movie is concerned i have to say that the choices of nick nolte and jeff bridges were great as well as that of catherine keener . 
all these people acted their parts admirably , as for the part that sharon stone played , she played it well but the part was not utilized enough . 
the directing for this movie is something that i have to comment on because for once in a long while you see a director actually add a very distinctive flavor to a movie , this is one of those occasions . 
matthew warchus in my opinion added an interesting touch and spin to the movie and i think he tackled a touch subject ( i myself wouldn't be able to look at horseracing and make a movie out of it ) . 
there is a certain flavor about this movie and i think that the direction of the movie is the reason for this . 
the one flaw that i do have to comment on is the pacing , the subject matter in my opinion wasn't interesting enough on its own to have this kind of flavoring and directorial touch about it . 
i certainly hope that the director makes more movies as this does show promise even if i myself don't like it . 
all in all i found this movie boring and very slow , the acting was good but the story just didn't evolve enough and wasn't captivating enough to make simpatico an enjoyable movie to watch . 
although there is much going for the movie i didn't find it good even though i see the merits and style used and can compliment the movie on them . 
i wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone but if you are a horse fanatic or a racing fanatic then you will most likely enjoy this movie . 
"
"-1","a fullyloaded entertainment review : website coming soon ! 
hunter s . thompson's fear and loathing in las vegas , written in 1971 , is already an american classic ; not merely because it was an unadulterated journey through the post-psychedelia of the 1960's , but also because it ushered in a new form of journalism known as "" gonzo "" . 
soon after the book was written , hunter s . thomspon became the basis for a character in doonesbury known as uncle duke . 
and that is the problem with fear and loathing in las vegas ( the movie . ) 
although the book is one of my favorites , i now agree with thompson's own assessment of the novel as "" unfilmable . "" 
the main problem is that the book , although detailing wild drug use and tripped-out adventures , was not written on the road . 
it was written and edited by hunter s . thomspons , relatively sober , at his home . 
so although the book depicts drug use and still more drug use , it is told with a sense of aloofness and some humor . 
hunter s . thomspon , the narrator , while always drugged out , still has a grip on reality , and can still tell , with journalistic ability , what is going on around him . 
not so with the characters in fear and loathing in las vegas . 
despite name changes and one minor scene from the book dropped , the movie is an exact duplicate of the book , in terms of dialouge . 
unfortunately , this can get annoying , in the form of johnny depp's ( who plays thompson ) excessive narration . 
and the characters , while having vivid personalities , are played as 2-d characers on the screen : dr . raoul duke ( johnny depp , the name raoul duke was an alias of thompson's ) and his riding companion , dr . gonzo ( benicio del toro ) , who is a large samoan lawyer , have no personalities or emotions at all , save for stoned . 
the film is very faithful to the plot ( what there is ) of the book , in that dr . raoul duke is sent by sports illustrated to cover the mint 400 , and takes along not only his samoan lawyer but also car trunk full of drugs . 
from there , one set of stoned adventures after another happens , including one of the few good scenes in which depp , high on acid , watches all the people in the bar around him turn into , literally , lounge lizards . 
while the movie has its moments ( few ) , it is almost unwatchable at parts , especially towards the end . 
despite a lot of celebrity cameos , the stars never get off the ground . 
the set decoration and costumes are great , and probably deserve an oscar nomination . 
however , as we all know , it's not sets or effects that make a movie , its the characters ; and quite frankly , these characters are no good . 
"
"-1","filmmakers will use all manner of tricks to flesh out and brighten up a dull , dreary , and overused idea . 
doug liman ( swingers ) , director of the ultra-hip and severely dark comedy go , is an example of just such a filmmaker . 
in his latest , he gives the viewers a raucous , neon-lit backdrop as cinematographer and points the audience down a drug-infested path of misadventure as director . 
but he fails to come up with any parallel structure in his multi-tiered movie and he fails to connect with the audience on any level , bringing the worth of his efforts to nil and the value of go to about the same . 
his movie is produced anthology-style -- telling the same story from multiple ( three ) points of view , much as an author might write a serial novel . 
consistent with this ethic , liman and screenwriter john august provide a bit of an overlap at the beginning of each narrative and insert brief connections to other narratives . 
the thread that laces the three stories together is a drug deal and the events thereafter . 
in story a we have checkout clerk ronna ( sarah polley ) looking to score some rent money and turning to drug trafficking to do it ; in story b we have regular drug dealer simon ( desmond askew ) gone to las vegas giving ronna her opportunity ; and in story c we have gay soap actors zack ( jay mohr ) and adam ( scott wolf ) working undercover for the police to bust said drug deal . 
neither of the three stories have much substance , and the movie has the feel of a campfire story ( albeit a rather strange one ) that could be told in five to ten minutes . 
 ( in fact , the movie was originally a short film entitled x expanded to feature length . ) 
the early april release date is too mistimed to capitalize on the movie's christmas setting , and the los angeles/las vegas nightlife is something too far from the mainstream for most theater-goers to attach themselves to . 
the characters are shallow to the point of prerequisite , and performances from little-known players like polley , askew , and taye diggs don't help or hurt the roles . 
in fact , even bigger names like mohr , wolf , and katie holmes don't have enough time to make substantial success . 
although that's almost expected for lack of continuous screen time , the success in the picture should come from a thread that binds the stories . 
go doesn't have this , and it suffers because of it . 
as far as teen movies are concerned , go represents the absolute bottom , for its constant stream of indecipherable light and sound mean nothing without some sort of common theme . 
 ( the following do not count as common themes : drug deals , people attempting to have romantic interludes with drug dealers , people resorting to drug deals for alterior motives , or people not involved in drug deals stumbling into them . ) 
at times , the humor in go is sickly funny , and on a low night , almost watchable ; but for the majority of its running time and for most viewers , this movie will best be left to teens at blockbuster on a saturday night . 
"
"-1","i feel sorry for the financial backers of "" waterworld , "" which is supposedly the most expensive film ever made ( at $172 million ! ) , and is also one of the stupidest - boy did they get ripped off ! 
in fact , this film is not really a movie , but more of an amusement park ride with a plot . 
it's not even just another case of cliches strung together ( well , it is that too ) , it's something that's painful to watch because it relishes in its flaws . 
kevin costner stars as a man who is some kind of mutant half man/half fish . 
he is an explorer/mariner on an alternate earth that is completely covered by water because the polar ice caps melted . 
he's referred to as the mariner , but they "" the meaner "" would have been a more appropriate title because he's cold , rigid , and strict - and he's supposed the be the good guy ! 
he docks at a small floating village of sorts . 
he trades dirt for money and this introduces us to the other important characters . 
first we meet one of the villains , then the soon-to-be heroine , a child prodigy , a wacky inventor , and a group of primitive people that somehow have some of the technology we have today , but also some of the low-tech tools used by pirates and vikings . 
immediately the film's biggest flaw is apparent : are these people primitive or highly advanced ? 
it doesn't seem like anyone can read yet they have ski-doos and airplanes ! 
how are these things powered ? 
and if they have airplanes , couldn't they just keep flying until they reached dry land ? 
also , if the planet is completely covered in water where did they get the materials to make these things ? 
i'm sorry , i'm all for checking your brain at the door when going to the movies , but elements like these cannot go unnoticed because they draw our attention away from the story and confuse us . 
there was potential here for a good pirate story set in medieval times before modern technology , so why mix the two together ? 
it doesn't make any sense . 
there really isn't much of a plot here because the story moves so quickly it never takes time to explain anything . 
the only thing we learn is that the prodigy child , enola ( mojorino ) , has a tattoo on her back that is supposedly a map to "" dryland . "" 
who put the tattoo there and how come it has taken them this long to figure this out ? 
we never get an answer , just a stupid action movie about whoever can get the girl will be the victor of sorts if they reach dryland . 
to make a long , boring , stupid , and just plain bad story short ; the mariner escapes with a woman named helen ( tripplehorn ) and enola . 
they sail for a long time , encountering some strange people in the process and fight off "" the smokers "" as lead by the idiot villain deacon ( hopper ) , who kidnaps enola . 
the story becomes a overly grand adventure with the mariner taking on an army of goons , rescuing enola , and bringing them all to salvation ( how original ) . 
even with all its special effects , action , and adventure this film is boring . 
not a single character is likable , therefore neither is the plot . 
dennis hopper completely rips off jack nicholson's joker , while costner just plain rips . 
still , "" waterworld "" is professionally made with a good production design and an original idea but no substance to it . 
i just hope they don't make a sequel ! 
"
"-1","to watch `battlefield earth' is to wallow in misery . 
it is one of the most ludicrously conceived efforts in recent history . 
it has a clumsily told story , insipid dialogue , shallow characterizations , ugly scene transitions , no evidence of dramatic arc , headache-inducing sound effects , and a resolution that is completely implausible . 
worse , there's the promise of a sequel . 
why ? ! 
save your money . 
some films go quickly to video . 
this one , however , should go straight to the sci-fi channel's `mystery science theatre . ' 
in the year 3000 , man has become an endangered species . 
most of humanity ( called ? man-animals' ) was destroyed generations ago in a battle against a race of plundering aliens ( called psychlos ) . 
survivors have either taken up shelter in caves or were enslaved to mine earth's resources for the rest of their lives . 
the aliens are a menacing looking humanoid species that stand nine-feet tall , who resemble inbred klingons . 
dimwitted as they are tall , their culture is predicated on power , extortion , and getting ? leverage . ' 
travolta , the leverage-using star , plays terl , the conniving security chief that oversees the mining facility on earth . 
much of the movie is spent showing us examples of terl's petty machinations . 
he routinely employs deception and then punctuates his statements with maniacal laughter . 
but one thing is certain ; he hates being stationed on earth . 
when the home planet informs him that he will be spending the rest of his life on this planet , he begins to devise his latest plan . 
he will select a group of slaves to secretly mine out a gold ore site . 
it's not clear how this benefits terl , except that it makes him richer in a place where he has no use for it . 
the scrappy jonnie goodboy tyler ( barry peppers ) is selected as the slave group's leader . 
a psychlo knowledge machine gives him the mining know-how . 
but the machine also teaches him other things such as the psychlo language , the principles of our founding fathers , euclidean geometry , and the location of fort knox . 
this enlightenment just doesn't prepare him for the mining assignment . 
it also prepares him to organize and stage a massive revolt against their captors . 
`we're going to blow up their home world , ' he says . 
`but first , we need a few more supplies . ' 
in days , he and his comrades evolve from cave dwelling , loincloth wearing , rat eating slaves to fighter pilots and nuclear weapons experts . 
by now , the audience is laughing as maniacally as terl . 
the media have been working overtime to let the public know that john travolta's labor of love is a piece of sci-fi drivel . 
numerous journals have called it an ill-conceived idea stemming from blind hubris , arrogance , and poor planning . 
and after watching this movie , you'll wholeheartedly agree . 
this is a terrible film that is illogically constructed , tediously acted , and frequently begs the question : why was this ever made ? 
at a price tag of $90 million , this film will be remembered as a gigantic folly , assuredly becoming `the avengers' of this summer . 
both films were unforgivable and this promises to suffer the same speedy fate and subsequent indignity . 
in addition to the universally pejorative reviews , there's another bizarre element to the `battlefield' saga . 
this film would never have been made if not for the star power of travolta , who for over a decade , had been trying to persuade studios to bring the story to the big screen . 
the controversy is that travolta is a scientologist , and `battlefield' is based on a 1982 novel by l . ron hubbard , the religion's late founder . 
this led some to believe that `battlefield earth' would amount to scientologist dogma , laden with subliminal messages . 
but the story is so poorly told that any message , subliminal or otherwise , is totally undetectable . 
if the audience got anything out of this film , it was this : we are not too unlike the psychlo leader . 
like terl , the audience felt imprisoned , dreaded their situation , and looked for any opportunity to leave . 
could that be the scientology message ? 
"
"-1"," "" you can't have any of this . 
it's all mine ! "" 
--- a twisted priest ( charles huevelman ) hordes his tasty fried chicken while dana ( angela zimmerly ) looks on uninterested . 
an evil presence , appropriately named the presence ( dj vivona ) , rules over an alternate dimension where neither angels nor demons can touch him . 
for kicks , the presence likes to trick a human into rounding up five of his or her friends so they can all be sent to his dimension and be systematically slaughtered . 
when something goes wrong and one of the presence's recent victims escapes , the angels and demons are alerted to his existence and feel he is a threat that needs to be stopped . 
they enlist the help of alison ( ramona midgett ) , a recent suicide victim , to return to the flesh and follow the six new enlistees through the ice wall that surrounds the the nether-realm . 
her mission is to melt away the ice barrier and allow the angels and demons access by reminding the presence of who he once was , an ancient court jester named abraham who lost his job when his king and queen were killed . 
the king's sorcerer , amblyn ( who also lost his job ) , decided to take abraham under his wing as an apprentice . 
during the downtime in his unemployment , amblyn decided to create a new dimension where sorcery , evil , and torture ruled . 
abraham wished to follow his master into this new realm , so he was asked to show his devotion to the evil wizard by murdering his one true love . 
in this new realm , amblyn would allow abraham to pursue the sport of hunting and destroying the humans that would be brought to this realm . 
after each murder , abraham would become stronger , until his power surpassed that of amblyn's . 
because of the screw-up that allowed the recent escape , abraham was able to destroy his master and take control of the realm himself . 
as alison quests to find abraham and show him the errors of his ways , the six new hapless humans are allowed to live out their worst nightmares and then be brutally murdered . 
if there's one thing i can't stand when i see a film , it's when the film is pretentious and arty just for the sake of being pretentious and arty . 
films like eraserhead and begotten are two of the worst examples of this , and now ice from the sun can be added to this list . 
this film is essentially an 80 minute stalk-and-slash film ( following the dante's inferno idea that your hell corresponds to how you lived your life or any one of the plots to nightmare on elm street 3 through 6 ) intercut with almost 40 minutes of strange and ( supposedly ) haunting images , many of which serve more to confuse than to further the plot . 
if there aren't bizarre images floating past the screen , then we get pointless shots of a suicidal alison staring at her breakfast for minutes at a time or contemplating whether or not she should answer her phone . 
compelling , but ultimately not . 
the opening credits sequence is designed like a music video for some unknown industrial band featuring various random images from the film interspersed with other random images . 
the credits run the entire length of the song which is almost five minutes and the actual cast listing and other credit information doesn't pop up until near the end of the sequence . 
when the opening credits began i thought my vcr had accidentally cut off and a interstitial from mtv2 had found its way to my tv . 
at least the music in the film is pretty decent , made up of mostly industrial and hard rock music and even features a song by ramona midgett . 
at the beginning of the film it is established that the presence possesses supernatural powers like shooting bullets out of the palms of his hands and decapitating people by waving his hand in front of them ( and he talks like a darth vader clone without the heavy breathing ) . 
for some reason though , he delegates all of his main stalkings to what seems like the supporting cast of deliverance . 
one over-alled cretin handles the presence's gravedigging and likes to chop peoples heads off with his shovel , then there's an inbred father ( dwight spurgin ) and his two inbred children ( mark kettler and jennifer poirrier-wallace ) that take care of a young woman who has been transformed into a half dog-half human mix with a shotgun , and of course a big truck driving guy that likes to tie people up naked to the back of his vehicle and drag them across stone roads before pouring salt all over their wounds . 
why would you want to give responsibilities to a bunch of "" rednecks "" when you yourself had all of these cool powers ? 
and how is it that the fellow that screws over all of his buddies is able to round up exactly five friends to complete the number of people required to enter the realm at exactly the same time ? 
i can barely get more than two together all at once at any given moment . 
the most ridiculous segment though comes right before the aforementioned dragging/salting sequence . 
the character in question , dana ( angela zimmely ) , has her turn up to be killed and is standing at the front of a movie theater in which the presence is seated . 
a priest holding two naked dirty humans on leashes walks in and sits down next to a large platter of fried chicken . 
he picks up the entire platter and starts to enjoy the chicken , taunting dana as she looks on with no interest whatsoever . 
when she starts to leave , the priest chides her for going before the performance starts and then something that looks like a either a creature from a gwar show or a terry gilliam animation from monty python come to life , walks out , and makes like it wants to be crucified by her . 
the presence starts to clap annoyingly ( which continues for the rest of the sequence ) until dana takes off with the strange creature following her . 
when it finally catches up to her , she stabs it in its giant eyeball and is covered in slimy glop that spurts from the ruptured organ . 
the box for the film claims "" because of the horrifying nature of the motion picture , parental discretion is advised for persons under the age of 18 . 
contains nudity and graphic violence "" . 
while both is certainly true , there doesn't seem to be much of either in any large amounts . 
besides a loving close up of a spurting neck stump , a semi-graphic self-surgery scene , and two instances of head trauma ( one run over and one melting ) , most of the gore is just of the spraying blood or bloody wound covered body variety . 
as for nudity , it is very sparse , but at least we get to see angela zimmerly ( far and away the most attractive cast member ) before her body is bruised , torn , and bloodied by the dragging incident . 
ice from the sun has been released on vhs by www . b-movie . com . 
it has been presented in in full-frame only and the transfer ( for a film shot a good deal in 8mm ) is pretty decent . 
besides the decent soundtrack ( which is also available from www . b-movie . com ) , a making-of video is also available called on thin ice . 
i haven't had the opportunity to see the documentary , but i actually would have been interested to see what the set was like while all of the shots were being filmed , if only to see how director eric stanze ( director of a similar cult film called savage harvest ) , conducted the atmosphere on set . 
"
"-1","an 80-year old woman jumps enthusiastically on her couch , wearing tight-fitting leather , as she cheers on her favorite tv wrestler by calling his opponent a `pump-bitch' . 
two men messily eat fast food as their septic truck leaks raw sewage directly behind them . 
and roughly 17 people are booted in the crotch . 
welcome to `ready to rumble' . 
judging from the fact that potty-mouth adam sandler is the reigning box-office comedy champion , you realize -- albeit while shaking your head -- that yes , there is an audience for this sort of thing . 
ladies and gentlemen , i weep for society . 
mind you , when executed with style and comic ingenuity , jokes like an alarming bodily fluid mistaken for hair gel ( `there's something about mary' ) and a laxative-induced attack of explosive diarrhea ( `dumb and dumber' ) can be extremely funny . 
unfortunately , `ready to rumble' is not being helmed by the farrelly brothers , nor is it bolstered by a script that accommodates the viewer with anything even remotely clever or inspired . 
`ready to rumble' is built around the dedicated fan-base of professional wrestling . . . . 
which , in fact , sounded like a fine concept for a goofball comedy . 
but director brian robbins and screenwriter steven brill handcuff themselves , and limited to a stampede of asinine , humdrum bathroom humor , basically the only thing they manage is to evoke memories of pauly shore and `bio dome' . 
gordie boggs ( david arquette ) and sean dawkins ( scott caan ) take pride in being hardcore wcw wrestling fanatics . 
by day , they transport raw sewage . 
by night ( particularly on ? nitro' monday ) , they pay homage to their personal hero and savior - jimmy king ( oliver platt ) , the undisputed leader of the professional wrestling community . 
with two tickets to an upcoming nitro performance , gordie and sean are psyched about witnessing the king defend his title first-hand . 
but unscrupulous boxing kingpin titus sinclair ( joe pantoliano , sporting long hair and cowboy boots ) has other plans . 
sinclair is plotting to have diamond dallas page ( playing himself ) pummel the king into the tarp , thereby dethroning the dignified wrestler and embarrassing him in front of a bewildered auditorium full of fans . 
gordie and sean are shocked , rioting madly while arguing `this isn't even a pay-per view event ! ! ' 
they take it upon themselves to track the king down and supply the encouragement essential for their fallen idol to make a come-back attempt . 
along the way , you can expect a lot of sh-- jokes as well . 
you may find something to like in `ready to rumble' if a ) you are a rasslin' aficionado yourself , or b ) you are a dedicated fan of the lowest of low-brow comedies . 
i welcome low-brow humor with open arms - that is , if its fresh and resourceful . 
`rumble' is nothing but a sloppy , frightfully unfunny swamp land of misbegotten retardation . 
the first half-hour is the ultimate test of patience . 
luckily , the simple-minded events pick up steam , particularly with the well-choreographed wrestling action . 
director robbins showed a knack for capturing the brutality and excitement of football in `varsity blues' , and when in the ring , he does professional work . 
but the violence is too excessive . 
having the fake soap opera of wcw wrestling turn into a bloody skirmish brings back unfortunate memories of owen hart's tragic accident just last year , especially with one character's dive during a cage match . 
this is not something you want a comedy to be reminiscent of . 
outside the wrestling action , the lewd jokes and puerile sight gags bring new meaning to the term ? scattershot' , while the dialogue fluctuates in on the vulgarity scale of 1 to 10 , with brill's extensive vocabulary ranging from `diddly' to `boob' and so on . 
the final tally : i chuckled a few times , groaned a lot , and indulged in one spirited belly laugh involving martin landau as a geriatric wrestling coach who fights pretty impressively for 105 . 
casting-wise , `ready to rumble' is an odd duck . 
oliver platt as a champion wrestling figure ? 
he's perhaps a bit chunky , but fellow wrestlers acknowledge this in the ring by calling him `fatty' , which dampens the blow i suppose . 
rose mcgowan is fully disposable as a sultry wcw cheerleader ( `the nirto-est of the nitro girls , ' proclaims gordie ) , but extra pep is added with appearances by wrestlers goldberg , `macho man' randy savage and sting ( among others ) . 
wcw fans are sure to appreciate these . 
others . . . 
well , won't . 
i found merit in david arquette's bountiful energy as gordie , which brings me to my finishing . . . . 
ahhh . . . . 
`praise' for the film : in `ready to rumble' , i have discovered something even more annoying than arquette's `at&t' television commercials . 
now there's a low blow for you . 
"
"-1","it's a rare treat when a quality horror film is released in the theater . 
and unfortunately with man's best friend , we'll be waiting a while longer . 
the film stars ally sheedy and lance henrikson in a tale of bio-genetics gone wrong . 
sheedy plays a nosy reporter whose need for a "" good "" story provokes her to snoop inside of emax , a poorly guarded million dollar bio-lab that she finds herself effortlessly intruding . 
the result : she unleashes the experimental wonder dog named max , a german shepherd with genetic recombination allowing it to swallow like a snake , camouflage like a chameleon , climb trees like a leopard , and attack with the strength of tiger . 
max takes a liking to sheedy , and she finds herself protecting the animal from the cruel technological realm of emax , owned by henrikson . 
well , it doesn't take long before the hormonally unstable biohazard unleashes his jowls upon the unsuspecting suburban landscape which offers max juicy leg of mailman , etc . . . 
sheedy is a boring non-presence on the screen , tripping through the enormous plot chasms neglected by the writer/director ( i apologize for a lack of credits . 
i suppose i was eager to leave the theater , and in my rush , forgot to take note of the director , writer , producer , etc . . . ) . 
henrikson offered the only relief from the contrived narration of the script , giving his character as much development as he could considering the flat dialogue plaguing the film . 
the movie depends upon it's ability to impress the audience with animal special effects , but all it presents is a dog that can growl , open door handles with his paw , sit , roll over , play dead , and sick . 
the rest of the special effects were so poor , i found them offensive . 
the film attains sub-mediocrity , an unambitious film at best . 
horror fans might find that cujo offers a better bite . 
"
"-1","joe versus the volcano is really one of the worse movies made in very recent memory . 
the strangest thing is that you would think nothing would go wrong with it . 
it has a solid cast with tom hanks & meg ryan as the lead roles . 
but you can never judge a movie by its cast . . . 
if there is one good thing about joe vs the volcano , it is that the plot is original . 
unfortunately , it is also incredibly stupid . 
the movie begins with joe ( tom hanks ) going to work . 
this opening sequence is very boring and slow . 
it shows joe walking to his office . 
but on the way , he has to wait in a long line passing by strange and slightly depressing scenery with obnoxious lighting . 
a sequence like this should take 2 minutes . 
here , it takes over 5 . . . 
it is obvious that joe hates his job . 
at his office , one of his co-workers is meg ryan . 
oddly enough , she plays 3 different roles in this movie ! ! 
joe leaves to go to a doctor's appointment . 
his doctor informs him that he has a "" brain cloud . "" 
this means that in a few months , he will die . 
so what does joe do ? 
quit his job , of course ! ! 
when he arrives home , joe meets an old man named graynamore ( lloyd bridges ) . 
graynamore tells joe that in order to get some important mineral for his company from an island , the natives need someone to sacrifice to their volcano to please their fire god . 
by a startling coincidence , the boat trip to the island takes a few months . 
by the time he reaches the island , he will almost be dead from the "" brain cloud "" anyway , so joe agrees . 
graynamore gives joe a credit card to buy everything he needs to go on this "" great adventure "" . 
joe goes on a date with meg ryan , his co-worker . 
the day before the boat trip , joe meets one of graynamore's daughters . 
she is also , surprise , meg ryan . 
except she looks more hippyish . 
they both have dinner and the next day , joe gets driven over to his boat . 
the lady that sails the boat is another one of graynamore's daughters . 
and , wonder of wonders , she is also played by meg ryan . 
as they sail to the island , meg ryan tells joe that the natives of the island have a craving for orange soda . 
after some stupid talking scenes , they also deduce that graynamore had his doctor be the one that joe went to . 
and that the "" brain cloud "" thing was made up ! ! 
they do plently of cheap special effects on the boat voyage . 
joe goes fishing and catches a hammerhead shark . 
this is a cheap gag that has been pulled off many times . 
but , to top it off , the shark is obviously rubber and fake ! ! 
one night there is a storm . 
a cheap-looking lightning bolt strikes the boat and everything is cast overboard . 
fortunately , joe and meg ryan manage to find some of the luggage that joe brought to sail . 
by pure luck , they get to the island . 
since the natives like orange soda , they wear soda cans as attire ! ! 
stupid or what ? 
 ; ) before joe leaps in the volcano , he gets fed . 
right before he jumps , meg ryan pleads him not to . 
when joe decides to , she goes in with him because "" she loves him "" . 
now this is where the movie should end . 
but , unfortunately , the "" cheesy ending "" bug comes in . 
the volcano blows the couple out and into the ocean where they land on joe's luggage . 
they float to another part of the island as they watch lava pouring out of the volcano towards the villagers . 
i give this movie a . 
see it only if you're a film buff that enjoys a bad movie every now and then or if you really like tom hanks or meg ryan . . . 
"
"-1"," "" be gentle , "" urges natasha henstridge to matthew perry in "" the whole nine yards . "" 
 "" i haven't made love in five years . "" 
 "" neither have i , "" rebuts perry . 
 "" i'm married ! "" 
if jonathan lynn's latest comedy relied simply on jokes of that caliber--and it certainly tries--then it'd be an innocuous if rather obvious little film . 
instead , its failings go much deeper . 
first off , who hasn't had enough of the tough wiseguy intimidates the timid wise guy genre ? 
if you want to make a pretty penny or two in hollywood nowadays simply write a "" comedy "" which pairs a robert de niro/james caan/bruce willis type with a billy crystal/hugh grant/matthew perry type and wait for the royalties to roll in . 
who's next ? 
jack nicholson and martin short ? 
it certainly doesn't have to be funny . 
 "" the whole nine yards "" is not a particularly funny film , but it is borderline offensive . 
offensive in the way it continues a trend of poking fun at career criminals who wouldn't think twice about pushing your mother-in-law off the brooklyn bridge with her feet encased in concrete . 
that might sound like a funny sight gag , but the problem is these films have long since lost sight of the fact that taking a human life isn't all that funny to begin with . 
when the corpse is placed in a car , doused with gasoline , set ablaze and referred to as "" barbecue , "" it makes you wonder when all this playing killing for laughs is going to end . 
 "" the whole nine yards "" is also offensive in so much as its three central female characters are portrayed as nothing more than sex objects . 
rosanna arquette plays a slutty , chain-smoking french canadian who's married to matthew perry's none-too-successful dentist . 
it's an unflattering role made all the more so by the unflattering outfits--and unflattering situations--into which arquette is thrust . 
then there's natasha henstridge ( "" species "" i and ii ) who plays the well-to-do wife of contract killer bruce willis . 
she gets involved with perry's character when he comes to chicago hoping to negotiate a finder's fee with mob boss yanni gogolack ( kevin pollack , transposing his vs with his ws ) after willis' jimmy the tulip tudeski moves in next door . 
henstridge and perry's characters hitting it off is about as likely as bruce and demi getting back together . 
perry might have the charm but he doesn't have the physical attributes of a traditional leading man , especially in close-up . 
most objectified of the bunch is amanda peet , who turns in a sexually-ripe performance as perry's dental assistant with , it transpires , questionable career goals . 
peet's gratuitous nude scene proves how low this movie will stoop to keep its audience from dropping off . 
when "" my cousin vinny "" is the highpoint of a directorial career including such forgettable films as "" clue , "" "" greedy , "" and "" sgt . 
bilko , "" you have to wonder if lynn chose the wrong career path . 
perry's pratfalling goofiness coupled with willis' likable hardness could have had some potential but with no script to work with , and a director who seems to be watching from the wings , their characters run out of gas quickly . 
"
"-1"," "" flubber "" is the second best example of how to take all the life out of a film remake an adaptation , and hysterically enough both were distributed by disney . 
it's the kind of film that may be slightly entertaining to tiny kids , but anyone else will feel left out as it's boring , slow , and incredibly lifeless . 
what could be a film with cinematic magic is instead dead in the water , and it's a shame because it could have been a great film . 
hypothetically , i mean . 
 "" flubber , "" as you probably know , is a remake of the disney classic i never saw , "" the absent minded professor , "" where a , well , absent minded professor played by fred mcmurray created an erratic substance known as "" flubber , "" you know , flying rubber ? 
the new one keeps the basic plot , but appears to have added a lot else , like more absent-mindedness on the part of the proffessor , some more villains , and several "" show-stopping "" moments , like a big rumba with the flubber , and some more elaborate setups , none which really make it any better , but instead make it worse . 
the basic plot revolves around a college professor , philip brainerd ( robin williams ) , who creates lots and lots of inventions , but is sadly absent minded . 
in fact , he's forgotten his wedding to the college's president , sara jean reynolds ( indie actress marcia gay harden ) , two times before he forgets it again at the beginning . 
doesn't this warrant some kind of mental treatment ? 
anyway , on his wedding day ( the third one ) , he invents the flubber , which not only bounces off of everything like a super ball on speed , but can also change shape like the aliens in water form in "" the abyss . "" 
philip believes that this invention , once fully realized , will save his college , which is in threat of being shut down by a millionaire tycoon/villain , chester hoenicker ( raymond j . barry ) , which is ironically enough the same college his brat son ( will wheaton - thought he was dead ) goes to . 
through a plot twist , hoenicker's goons , named smith and wesson ( ha ha - what a great sense of humor this film has ) who are played by clancy brown and ted levine ( both who needed the pay check ) , discover it the hard way , and try to steal for hoenicker , who wants it just 'cause he's evil enough . 
a sub-plot involves philip's attempts to win back sara , who's angry at him ( and with good reason ) , but who is being seduced by who is basically philip's belloq , wilson croft ( christopher mcdonald , playing the hysterically suave-yet-unsuave asswhole once again ) . 
and in another subplot , philip's day-timer robot , weebo ( voiced by the one-and-only jodi benson ) , falls in love with him . 
yuckity-yuck . 
what's most pathetic about this film is how dull it is . 
you don't need to be a cynical college student to be able to see right through this film , which is another in a long line of cheap attempts at making a quick buck by disney , who have essentially become the puff daddy of the film industry , half-assedly re-mixing classics ( or non-classics ) for distribution to the general public , who sadly eats it all up . 
earlier in '97 , they released "" jungle 2 jungle , "" an adaptation of a really awful french film , "" un indien dans la ville , "" which , yeah , improved over the original , but not by much . 
disney's in about as bad shape as warner brothers right now , only creatively . 
in the rush to ship out a film for distribution , disney has forgotten to give this film a little thing called "" magic . "" 
such scenes as dancing flubber , a flying car , a basketball team that pretty much sucks flying all around thanks to some carefully placed flubber , and an elaborate ending all fail to amaze , delight , or even cause people to laugh . 
i sat there the entire film stone faced , chuckling perhaps twice , and shaking my head at all the bad jokes . 
who could really laugh at a scene where philip enters the wrong classroom and starts teaching chemistry ? 
didn't think so . 
it doesn't help that our protagonist is essentially unfunny or even really respectable . 
philip is not a lovable absent minded professory , just a really dumb man being played by robin williams . 
williams is a brilliant comic actor . . . okay , a brilliant actor in general , but here he's given very little to do but occasionally get hyper over something , and other times act sad . 
those times , he's not bad . 
but what are we supposed to think of a man who's forgotten his wedding thrice ? 
maybe it was funny and/or respectable in the 60s . . . 
i like disney , and i usually enjoy their films , not only animated but live action , and their recent films ( save for "" hercules , "" which was good , but not great ) have been worse than lackluster , they've been pathetic . 
 "" jungle 2 jungle "" is probably the worst film i saw last year . 
 "" flubber "" 's probably second . 
what do they need to do ? 
perhaps create something new . 
get writers who can write something that's universally entertaining . 
films like "" the parent trap "" and "" mary poppins "" are films that are live action ( or in the latter case a mix of both ) , but even i can still watch them because they're not only written to be magical to children , but to be fun to adults . 
what's more torturous that taking a child to a film that insults you and annoys you at every turn ? 
and my god , couldn't they have done something else with edie mcclurg ? 
"
"-1","i'm going to start this review off with a hypothetical question . 
let's say you've just been in a car accident , and the driver of the other vehicle is unconscious . 
your friends have left to go get help , and you're waiting to see if the victim wakes up . 
a tow-truck comes along , and the driver hops out of the truck to see what's going on . 
he then proceeds to kill the unconscious victim by snapping his neck . 
do you : 
a ) run away screaming for your life , staying away from the main road , 
b ) run away ( but not too fast ) and stay on the main road even when the madman in the truck starts following you , * stop * to catch your breath , try to negotiate with the psycho , and when that fails , start running away again , all the while * staying on the main road * ? 
if you answered "" a "" , you are far more intelligent than the screenwriter of "" texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation "" and will likely hate this movie . 
however , if you answered "" b "" , prepare to enjoy a film made with idiots like you in mind ! 
 "" texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation "" is being called a sequel , but it's really more of a remake of the original . 
there's a few changes here and there , but it's essentially the same ( even the infamous "" meathook "" scene has been re-created . ) 
the story opens with four teenagers hitting the road on the night of their prom , and somehow ending up in the middle of nowhere . 
needless to say , they soon encounter leatherface and his nutty family . 
much carnage ensues . 
to call this movie inept would be putting it mildly . 
in addition to the laughably idiotic situation i mentioned in my hypothetical question , there is a moment towards the end of the film where one of the baddies is killed by an airplane that literally comes out of nowhere . 
it just swoops down and kills him with its wheel . 
no explantion is given as to who was flying it or why he/she is going around killing people with the planes wheel . 
the dialogue is even more atrocious . 
zellwegger , who is kidnapped by "" the family "" early on , keeps trying to have normal conversations with these people . 
when you're surrounded by maniacs wielding chainsaws and dead corpses , i would think that rationality would go out the window . 
speaking of going out the window , there is a scene in which zellwegger jumps out a window . 
apparently , the stunt double had a little trouble , because she visibly gets stuck in the window . 
the director quickly cuts to a wide shot where the stunt double * doesn't * get caught in the window . 
this was one of many glaring inconsistencies . 
there are so many , in fact , that if i were to name them all , this review would be several pages long . 
the only reason i am giving this movie one star instead of no stars is because of matthew mcconaughey . 
he plays a member of "" the family "" with a hydraulic leg ( home-made , i might add ) and is so completely over-the-top , you can't help but be amazed by his performance . 
he obviously had a lot of fun with this part , and it really shows . 
he makes jack nicholson's portrayal of the psychotic inn keeper in "" the shining "" look restrained in comparison . 
for a horror movie , "" texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation "" contains surprisingly little gore . 
in fact , in contains none . 
there's a little blood here and there , but that's as far as it goes . 
which leads me to believe that the budget must have been * astonishingly * low , and it shows . 
everything about the movie looks cheap , from the sets to the costumes . 
especially leatherface . 
once frightening and nightmare inducing , he's now as terrifying as dame edna . 
do yourself a favor and take a pass at this remake . 
check out the far superior original instead . 
"
"-1","susan granger's review of "" session 9 "" ( usa films ) 
sometimes you just get more than your bargained for . . . like when boston-based hazmat elimination , run by scottish actor peter mullan and his trusty assistant , david caruso , assures a town engineer ( paul guilifoyle ) that they can remove insidious asbestos fibers from a victorian hospital facility in a week . 
erected in 1871 , deserted and decomposing since 1985 , the danvers mental hospital , is one of the most malevolent "" locations "" ever chosen for a film . 
the structure is so massive - with its labyrinth of rubble-strewn corridors , collapsing floors , stagnant pools of water , isolation cells , and ominous surgical chambers where experimental pre-frontal lobotomies were performed - that their task seems impossible within that time frame . 
and each member of their inexperienced crew ( stephan gevedon , brandon sexton iii , and josh lucas ) is coping with his own personal demons as , one by one , their minds seem to be affected by the grim areas in which they're working . 
the film's title is derived from salvaged reel-to-reel audio-recorded sessions involving the demonic possession of a young woman who is suffering from multiple personalities . 
by the time session 9 occurs so do dreadful disasters . 
filmmaker brad anderson obviously envisioned this as a gruesome chainsaw-massacre-type ghost story but the script lacks structure and isn't particularly scary . 
the conclusion is more ludicrous than convincing . 
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , "" session 9 "" is a dark , gloomy 4 . silly me . . . at 
first , i thought that the original name of the danvers lunatic asylum bore some reference to mrs . danvers , the creepy housekeeper played by judith anderson in alfred hitchcock's truly terrifying "" rebecca "" that also involved a cavernous mansion called manderley . 
"
"-1","by the time dennis quaid , the ostensible star of switchback , makes his first appearance at about the 22-minute mark , you may find yourself wondering why he bothered . 
after all , writer/director jeb stuart has already set up a fairly promising pair of parallel story lines . 
the first finds amarillo , texas sheriff buck olmstead ( r . lee ermey ) facing a hotly-contested election battle just as a brutal double homicide is discovered at a motel in his jurisdiction . 
as olmstead begins his investigation , we also meet the two men who come to be our prime suspects . 
lane dixon ( jared leto ) is an enigmatic young hitchhiker ; bob goodall ( danny glover ) is the jovial motorist who offers lane a ride from texas to his utah destination . 
all the necessary conflicts seem to be in place -- the internal struggle of olmstead over the clash between good politics and good police work , and the external struggle as one of the two travelers eventually becomes villain to the other's protagonist . 
but then quaid shows up as grimly determined fbi agent frank lacrosse . 
lacrosse is certain that the amarillo murders are the work of a serial killer he has been tracking for nearly two years . 
he's not supposed to be tracking him any more -- according to the bureau , they've got their man -- but lacrosse has a very important reason for believing otherwise . 
two months earlier , lacrosse's own son was kidnapped by the killer , and the boy has yet to turn up anywhere . 
lacrosse knows his killer's work , and he knows that the man is still out there somewhere trying to continue their game . 
it wouldn't be fair to reduce everything that's wrong with switchback to quaid's presence , but it's a pretty good place to start . 
there's a reason lacrosse feels like an intruder in the narrative instead of its vital center : as a dramatic actor , dennis quaid possesses exactly one facial expression and one vocal intonation . 
we can tell lacrosse is determined because his face is a perpetual tight-jawed , sourpuss pucker ; we can tell he's grim because every word comes out in an eastwood-esque rasp . 
a more flexible performer might have given weight to the character , pulling the audience into his haunted intensity , making switchback _his_ film . 
quaid merely looks annoyed and slightly constipated . 
it's tough to become emotionally invested in a character's turmoil when it looks like all he really needs is a big bowl of bran flakes . 
even without quaid , it doesn't appear that switchback would have stayed on course . 
the early scenes between leto and glover have a lively energy , building our curiosity over which man -- the taciturn kid or his gregarious benefactor -- is the real threat . 
unfortunately , stuart tips his hand far too early in the game , both through the pitch of the individual performances and the facts he chooses to reveal . 
once the mystery of the killer's identity is dispatched , the interaction between leto and glover becomes stale and predictable . 
in fact , "" stale and predictable "" describes the direction that switchback takes in general , falling back on far-too-common hollywood devices like cats jumping out of nowhere , a climactic fistfight on board a freight train , and edgy law enforcement agents . 
it's too bad stuart wasn't willing to spend more time with sheriff olmstead , far and away the most interesting and appealing character in the film . 
played with atypical restraint by r . lee ermey , he's a wonderful , unconventional hero who seems genuinely comfortable accepting the consequences of acting on his convictions . 
a film focusing on the olmstead would have signaled a film-maker willing to take a few risks with his casting and story-telling . 
instead , stuart places his trust in a "" name "" star who can't carry the material . 
maybe next time he'll throw away that one crucial page in the script , the one where the grimly determined fbi agent wanders onto the scene to muck up a perfectly good story . 
"
"-1","gregg araki's the doom generation was possibly the very worst film ever made . 
so why did i see his latest teen bisexual angst opus ? 
first of all , some of the reviews were fairly positive . 
also , the cast , consisting of cameos from dozens of washed up ex tv stars ( including christopher knight , eve plumb , shannen doherty , and david leisure ) was promising . 
last of all , i wanted to give arraki one more chance . 
i mean , the guy can't be that untalented , can he ? 
the answer to that question is three letters long . 
nowhere follows the character dark on his wild and odd journey through los angeles . 
since arraki doesn't know how to make anything coherent , it's hard to describe the plot . 
let's just say that dark spends the bulk of the movie whining that his girlfriend won't make a commitment to him and jealous because she sleeps around with other guys and girls . 
the only remotely compelling storyline involves sarah lassez as a teen who has a chance encounter with a famous tv star . 
he turns out to be a nice guy who doesn't care for fame and wishes he could walk down the street without being mobbed by fans . 
this story has a shocking twist and a tragic end that i did not see coming . 
it is the first time i ever felt any compassion for a character created by arraki , and this can be attributed to the appealing performance of lassez . 
i thought maybe arraki was improving in his craft . 
he works better with the camera this time around , especially in the early scenes . 
halfway through the film , i didn't necessarily find myself enjoying the film , but it seemed like a considerable improvement on the doom generation . 
then as the movie went on , arraki loses all sensibility and introduces us to exploding heads , twisted sex games , and alien abductions . 
it's sad , because he almost actually had some decent material here , but he ruined it with his usual in your face "" i'm such a renegade maverick filmmaker , look what i can do "" attitude . 
the performances are generally better than in the doom generation , which isn't saying much . 
at least we don't have to suffer jonathan "" i am the most hideous man in america "" schaech . 
we are , however treated to another round of james "" i'm more wooden than keanu "" duval . 
sarah lassez gives the best performance in the film , and kathleen robertson ( formerly of 90210 and now arraki's wife ) and rachel true are talented actresses caught up in this mess . 
of the tv star cameos , john ritter is the most interesting as a deranged right wing tv evangelist . 
if i prefer nowhere to the doom generation , it is only in the way that i would prefer being assassinated than receive constant physical torture . 
maybe greg arraki doesn't want you to like his characters . 
maybe he wants to laugh and make fun of those of us who try to care about them . 
maybe he just wanted to piss me off . 
if so , he was successful . 
"
"-1","sometimes , when i decide to write a short story or a poem , i think of a title first , and then think of a subject to go with it . 
it seems that the makers of disturbing behavior had a similar train of thought when it came to the title sequence . 
i wouldn't be surprised if a couple of guys got together and created the opening credits , and then someone saw it and made up a story to go along with it . 
the title sequence is so good , so ominous and original , that it had me engrossed before the picture even began . 
of course , my attention dwindled shortly into the film . 
disturbing behavior , like so many thrillers , starts off interesting and ends up laughably ridiculous . 
it's a teen horror film with no interesting violence or sex . 
it's a suspense film with no suspense . 
it's an evil small town story with no story to speak of . 
it's a disaster , a listless and uninspired disaster , that just barely misses one-stardom because of a few good sequences , a mercifully short running time , and one terrific set of opening credits . 
our main man is a fellow named steve clark , blandly played by jimmy marsden . 
he moves to a small town with his family after , tragically , his brother shoots himself . 
steve is very upset about the untimely death of his brother ; we learn this through strange home-video like nightmares that he has occasionally . 
the big trial for steve is , of course , to fit in at school and make new friends . 
marsden looks like your stereotypical jock down to the last detail , so he seems a poor casting choice for a social reject . 
as a social reject , he falls in with some pretentious dope-smoking philosophers , gavin ( nick stahl ) and rachel ( katie holmes ) . 
gavin informs steve that the local group of jocks , known as the blue ribboners , are actually a bunch of zombies , assimilating new members into their group , while sporadically killing innocent people . 
so , it's up to our group of mismatched protagonists to 1 ) solve the mystery , and 2 ) do something about it . 
by the end of it all , something has happened and things have been explained , but the film still doesn't make any sense . 
disturbing behavior was written by scott rosenberg . 
i've seen his name around recently ( he was one of the toucher-uppers on the armageddon script ) , and i imagine that , for the most part , he knows what he's doing when it comes to screenwriting . 
he did , however , have a complete lapse in judgement when he got the idea for this film , and then decided to actually take the time to write it out . 
evil small town films are pretty common ( the last one , phantoms , is also a dismal failure ) , but it takes a lot of skill to make the formula work . 
rosenberg's script is a complete mess , lacking in even the most basic attempts at characterization . 
and it makes no sense , nor is their any purpose when things are finally "" explained . "" 
there is supposed to be an element of surprise when we see what is happening to the jocks , but the film never explains exactly what * is * happening . 
they get strapped to chairs , a microchip is inserted into their eyes , and -- poof -- they become sex-crazed , superviolent , machine-like creatures . 
the doctor responsible for all this , dr . caldicott ( bruce greenwood ) , must be pretty nuts for thinking that this kind of behavior is a step up from the way high school jocks actually behave ( or , perhaps , this is the only realistic element in the film ) . 
much of the writing is simply bad , and rosenberg has no intuition when it comes to the way high school kids act . 
in one terrible scene , gavin explains to steve all of the high school cliques , while pointing them out in the cafeteria . 
up front , i should say that , in four years of high school , i did not eat in the cafeteria even once . 
that aside , the various social groups he points out are general , uninteresting , and poorly-shown . 
for instance , he points to the "" nerds , "" who are all wearing glasses and playing with their laptops . 
it's such an obvious cliche that i can't believe rosenberg even bothered . 
most of the dialogue is forced ( no one says , "" bite me ! "" 
anymore ) , and none of the scenes have any degree of wit . 
this picture is not inspired , and most scenes flop from one to the other , with no sense of momentum or energy . 
the blame for this can be placed on director david nutter , who apparently likes his films dry . 
horror films should at least exploit violence , but this one is shockingly timid . 
there are a few good scenes , though , such as an interesting trip through an insane asylum ( this is , however , the most forced scene in the film , for how our heroes get there or why they bother are things we never learn ) . 
i also liked the school janitor character , played by william sadler . 
he has a few lines that are surprisingly thought-provoking . 
the acting is largely a waste of talent . 
marsden is , as i said , bland ( thought not particularly bad ) . 
bruce greenwood is shamelessly wasted . 
stahl and holmes both show they have talent , but the direction isn't good enough to hone in on their skills ( stahl's performance seems more like a parody of high school potheads ) . 
none of these characters expand beyond their one dimension , and , frankly , watching cardboard cut-outs of human beings run down hallways while screaming just isn't all that cool . 
disturbing behavior is a wreck of a film , and it started out a wreck before shooting even began . 
i'm surprised there were producers who read this script and thought that it would make a good film , or that it would make a lot of money at the box office . 
it's not boring , or even blatantly awful , but it's an uninspired lump of a film . 
it sure starts off nicely , but the regression into total absurdity is so consistent that the very last scene is outright laughable . 
so , if you go to see this film , take my advice : appreciate the credit sequence , and pray it never ends . 
"
"-1","written by david j . schow and john shirley , based on the comic book series and comic book strip by james o'barr . 
cast brandon lee , ernie hudson , michael wincott , david patrick kelly , rochelle davis , and jon polito . 
mpaa rating "" r "" ( presumably for rape , language , and violence ) 
running time 100 minutes 
 "" looks like he zigged when he should've zagged . "" 
- ernie hudson , as a police officer commenting on a suspicious death . 
comic book translations are notorious tricky-- anyone up for a double-bill of the punisher and captain america ? -- and the crow proves no exception . 
despite a gross of good intentions , brandon lee's final film doesn't fly very high . 
the story opens on halloween eve , better known as devil's night . 
wilmington-as-detroit is in flames and the police are tending to at least * one * murder : young rock-musician-turned-pavement-artist eric draven ( lee ) , found on a sidewalk six-stories below the apartment he was thrown from . 
the cops are also upstairs , administering aid to his fiance who was assaulted and raped and not necessarily in that order . 
she dies , the perps . 
escape , and , exactly one year later , draven rises from the grave to wreak revenge . 
sound familiar ? 
unlike charles bronson , whose only known superpower involves an inability to refrain from filming death wish sequels , lee's character has supernatural strength and amazing agility and can even reheal from gunshot wounds faster than robert patrick in terminator 2 . by his side is his crow , the presumable source of his powers as related in the narration . 
wearing what appears to be alice cooper's leftover make-up , lee is plopped into an underlit urban landscape that was obviously modeled after batman and blade runner . 
but no number of red-lit , rain-soaked streets can compensate for cheap fx that make the crow seem closer to darkman than batman . 
 ( the glaring miniatures should show better on video , though . 
 : ) 
a nod to darkman is an insult to sam raimi , though , because alex proyas can't film a decent action scene to save his life . 
his two "" best "" set-pieces-- some banzai board-room butchery and a cool church- roof sword fight-- are also undercut by the awful editing of dov hoenig and scott smith . 
blame said editors for the film's frightful flashbacks , as well . 
but the pace is quick , thank god , and every good-idea-turned-bad is over before it begins . 
the cast is better than it should be . 
ernie hudson is a good choice as a friendly policeman and he gets off most of the film's funnier lines . 
newcomer rochelle davis does well as both the narrator and draven's scrappy ward . 
jon polito has a small , succulent role as pungent pawnbroker . 
and michael wincott makes a distinct impression as a long-haired mr . big whose collection of ancient-swords makes him seem like he walked into the film from the trailer to highlander iii . 
there can be only one . 
finally , there's brandon lee , son of bruce lee , and a 28-year-old rising-star who was fatally shot during shooting . 
lee had four films to his name-- kung fu : the movie , laser mission , showdown in little toyko , and rapid fire-- and the crow would've been a nice feather in his belt and that's about it . 
there's nothing great from him here-- just a good performance that owes as much to presence as ability . 
when the echo of that gunshot finally fades , watching the crow should prove an even * less * remarkable experience . 
despite a healthy dose of humor and some surprising sincerity , the crow is still just a couple notches above its straight-to-video brethren . 
for now , maybe it's an appropriate eulogy to an actor who could only get better . 
"
"-1","synopsis : sullen julie james , still haunted by nightmares of the killer ben willis from i know what you did last summer , perks up when her new best friend karla wilson wins a trip for four to the bahamas . 
arriving at the start of the hurricane season , julie and karla run around in very tight clothing and realize they've walked into a trap set by the rainslickered slasher with a huge hook for a hand . 
comments : i may be showing some pop culture illiteracy here , but i have never seen an episode of the fox tv series "" party of five . "" 
i am only vaguely aware of the show's premise , and my knowledge of it comes from brief commercials i half-paid attention to while watching the tube . 
 "" party of five , "" i do know however , seems to be the starting ground for actresses in the teen horror genre . 
neve campbell , scream queen of the 90s and star of scream , scream 2 , and the craft , is a regular of the show . 
so too is jennifer love hewitt . 
lo and behold , following in the footsteps of campbell , hewitt now has a horror franchise of her own : the i know what you did last summer line . 
though the original film , released last year , was watchable enough , this insipid sequel had me looking at the theater's glowing red exit sign longingly throughout . 
jennifer love hewitt is a very good-looking young leading lady ; however , unlike neve campbell , hewitt struggles with acting . 
she just isn't convincing in this film ( and she wasn't in the original either ) . 
this puts many young males , including myself , in a paradoxical quandary : she's very attractive , but the annoying , spoiled , valley girl-type character she tries to play here is annoying to the extreme and ruins many of the scenes which emphasize , exploitatively , her figure . 
add to the mix the equally pleasant yet irritating brandy , another rising teen tv star , and you get one frustrated male audience . 
i've spent so much time on hewitt and brandy for a reason . 
i still know what you did last summer , though cashing in on the success of the original , ultimately serves as a vehicle for these two young actresses . 
nothing else here is original or interesting . 
this movie , in fact , makes other recent so-so horror films like urban legend and john carpenter's vampires seem like stunning works of high art . 
i still know relies heavily on tired slasher film cliches : an isolated location , a storm , parentless teenagers , false alarm nightmares , lots of blue-lighted darkness scenes , a garbed slasher who walks around in the background without the characters seeing him , knives and other sharp instruments lying around everywhere , etc . you get the picture . 
the entire audience knows all the secondary characters introduced in the film are going to receive the business end of the killer's hook . 
they may as well have huge targets painted on them . 
like scream and its numerous knockoffs , these secondary characters are supposed to serve as comic relief . 
unfortunately , i still know's characters aren't all that funny . 
in particular , one character , a chain-weed-smoking guy , is obnoxiously annoying and certainly doesn't die soon enough . 
the death scenes , by the way , are relatively violent for a theatrically released horror film . 
several of them are uncomfortable to watch , and they reminded me of the sickening gore scenes in hellraiser : bloodline , a truly sadistic movie . 
this , too , did not help the supposed humor i still know was shooting for . 
and what is the deal with the slasher himself ? 
i know that the slasher film is not a particularly intelligent genre , but ben willis has got to go down as one of the most silly slashers in mainstream horror . 
come on , the guy looks like the gorton's fisherman , and his gruff voice makes him sound like a disney pirate . 
though his lightning-lit appearances ellicited much-needed laughter in the theater , his appearance borders on the absurd in the horror film , and that's * really * saying something . 
so , all that's left to talk about here is jennifer love hewitt and brandy . 
both prance about in tightfitting , revealing outfits or in various states of undress , yet neither of them ever actually do a nude scene . 
hewitt , however , does do a post-shower scene in which her thin bathrobe is quite . 
 . 
 . titillating . 
this scene alone made this one-star turkey earn two stars under my rating system . 
otherwise , hewitt and brandy both grate on the nerves . 
early in the film , for instance , brandy wins the trip to the bahamas . 
she and hewitt jump around and scream and screech for what seems like forever . 
i needed extra-strength tylenol after that part . 
oh , and the film's conclusion , talk about repetitive ! 
people who saw i know what you did last summer will predict i still know's ending at least 5 minutes before it happens . 
boring ! 
i saw this movie with my brother at the local downtown movie theater . 
admission is only one dollar on wednesdays , and we often go see bad movies on these days just to ridicule them . 
it's usually a fun thing to do along with the rest of the audience , who don't seem to mind participating in a mass "" mystery science theater 3000 "" -type viewing . 
i still know what you did last summer , however , produced several lengthy uncomfortable silences from the audience , underscoring how bad it * really * is . 
if it weren't for the main actresses' revealing wardrobes , i'd have had a very , very hard time sitting through this lame sequel . 
i can't imagine trying to watch it on video ( horror films seem 10 times better in a theater because they rely heavily on audience participation ) and wouldn't recommend it to people , unless they're horror film fanatics or huge fans of hewitt and brandy . 
i read on a website somewhere that another sequel is already in the works . 
what a depressing thought . 
hewitt apparently needs to spend more time on tv figuring out how to act . 
rated r , this film contains lots of violence , several gory scenes , and a couple nubile , horny teenagers--though the sex act itself is always thwarted . 
i'd say this is unsuitable for kids , but teens wouldn't have a problem sitting through it , especially since they obviously compose the film's target audience . 
"
"-1","note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . 
be forewarned . 
to assess alex cox's film the winner as a loser would be so indolent . 
it would be derisive . 
it would be glib . 
it would be dismissive . 
it would be entirely accurate . 
rarely have i seen a film as excruciatingly annoying as the winner , a would-be comedy which quickly proves to be tedious , unfunny , and unengaging . 
the film attempts to be fresh and quirky , utilising a myriad of colourful characters to weave its absurd tale , but appears to overlook the fact that nobody in the film is remotely interesting and that all of the characters are essentially preposterous . 
the film is set in las vegas , and the focus in the winner is on philip ( vincent d'onofrio ) , an aloof , naive young man blessed with the odd gift of luck ; he virtually cannot lose at the tables . 
despite this prodigious talent , philip is perpetually mournful and quite indifferent about his gambling fortunes , neither taking joy in his winnings nor having the foresight to mask his abilities . 
consequently , he becomes an easy target for those who would ride upon his coattails and take advantage of his talent . 
louise ( rebecca demornay ) , a sultry lounge singer , insinuates herself into philip's life for the purpose of swindling him , while philip's estranged brother ( and , conveniently , louise's ex-beau ) johnny ( michael madsen ) arrives on the scene . 
 ( to add some colour , johnny also happens to be toting their father's corpse , sans one hand . ) 
meanwhile , philip is also befriended by a trio of low-rent , opportunists ( frank whaley , billy bob thornton , and richard edson ) , who have every intention of taking advantage of their new buddy's gift with the dice . 
serenely overlooking the chaos from behind the scenes is the casino owner ( delroy lindo ) ; it is probably not giving away much to reveal that his role in the winner is essentially that alluded to at the end of the flashy sequence in martin scorsese's casino which details the organization hierarchy of a casino's operations - he * is * the eye in the sky . 
it could be maddening to endure a film whose central protagonist is so oblivious of the ongoing blatant manipulation , but fortunately this is not the case in the winner , if only because our sadsack hero is such a sap ; not even remotely sympathetic or compelling , it becomes impossible to root for philip or even care about his fate , and the would-be swindlers of philip's fortunes are all drawn out as such ludicrous , transparent buffoons with entirely unimaginative and uninteresting schemes that one watches the winner with a complete sense of disinterest . 
it is a shame , as the winner features a talented cast - mr . d'onofrio is an underrated and gifted actor with a huge range ; mr . lindo has a remarkable screen presence which infiltrates every film in which he appears ; mr . madsen , ms . demornay , and mr . whaley have all done good work in the past . 
none of the actors in the winner are in top form here , and this film won't likely be a prized addition to their respective resumes . 
director alex cox does what he can with wendy riss' screenplay , and it is to his credit that this film at no point feels like an adaptation of a stage play ; i was startled to learn that the winner was in fact based upon one . 
while tedious , the film is well-paced and does not meander , but it would be near-impossible task for mr . cox ( or , for that matter , virtually any other director that comes to mind ) to overcome the film's widespread shortcomings in plot and characterization . 
to his credit , my understanding is that he has chosen to distance himself from the project in acknowledgement of its deficiencies . 
i caught the winner at its world premiere at the toronto international film festival in september 1996 , and in fairness it is entirely possible that the film has been extensively revamped since then due to the lacklustre audience reaction generated - there were more walkouts on this film than any of the others i screened . 
to be honest , though , i couldn't begin to isolate what could be done to this film to improve it - i assume that throwing the whole thing out and starting over is out of the question . 
the winner has apparently played on cable television in the united states and is beginning a limited theatrical release at the time of this writing . 
the film has a nice upbeat score by pray for rain , but i am honestly not being facetious when i state that the thing i treasured most about my screening of the winner was the bag of popcorn upon which i was munching . 
"
"-1","what's to like about the world of extremely violent trash pornography--ie . 
the garbage known as "" snuff "" films ? 
nothing , right ? 
what's to like about a film chronicling the world of violent trash pornography ? 
well . . . nothing . 
so , why make it , hollywood ? 
there's no reason why the average , sane movie-goer will be interested in such a topic . 
no one is going to enrich their life or have a good time by watching material such as this . 
the lack of quality filmmaking in "" 8mm "" ( from technical to acting ) stands out even more when you consider the star , writer , and supporting cast--all reputable . 
but joel schumacher and his brand of unlikable filmmaking strikes again ! 
like paul schrader , schumacher has his moments , but they're few and far ( far ! ) 
between . 
basically , this picture is crap and no one should pay to see it . 
why not walk out ? 
well , this wouldn't be a thorough review about a thoroughly bad movie . 
here's why you should spend your money on dog food or gum instead of "" 8mm "" . . . 
first thing--if you don't heed my advice , then understand what you're about to see before you even think about paying good money for this crud . 
it's not easy to watch . 
i didn't know the details of the story beforehand , but at least my ignorance can help others now . 
the ( ha ! ) plot revolves around tom welles ( nicolas cage ) as a surveillance expert and private investigator . 
a rich old woman discovers a "" snuff "" film in her late husband's safe . 
she calls welles and hires him to try and find out if the young girl ( it had to be a young girl , didn't it , schumacher ! ) who appears to be murdered in the film really is dead . 
she's horrified that her husband would have owned such a film ( in 8mm , of course ) and just wants welles to snoop around without police interference to see what he can find . 
family-man welles agrees against better judgement or any concrete leads even after cringing and grimacing at the sight of the grotesque "" murder "" . 
let me backtrack for a moment . 
see , "" snuff "" films are pornos with a violent twist--people are tortured in very sick ways and end up dead . 
however , the deaths are often staged and , in those cases , special effects and "" good "" acting make all the difference . 
very sick people enjoy and pay top dollar for these hard-to-find movies . 
the thought of this "" industry "" makes me want to throw my computer out the window and stop this review , but i'll swallow my bile and move on . 
welles follows clues to hollywood and the porn industry . 
you'd think he's sherlock holmes the way clues drop so easily for him ! 
he comes across smut clerk max ( joaquin phoenix ) who knows everyone and everything in the underground business of sleaze . 
after a lot of digging and bribing , welles finds the men who are responsible for making this , and other , "" snuff "" films . 
skip ahead , skip ahead , skip ahead . . . 
led by dino velvet ( peter stormare in an uncharacteristically terrible performance ) and star-torturer "" machine "" ( christopher bauer ) , they have a big showdown with welles where death and mayhem ensue . 
the movie doesn't end there , unfortunately , because welles has to do what all heroes in schumacher films do--become a vigilante . 
this film doesn't draw you in . 
it keeps you about 700 miles away from it and who in their right mind would want to get close ? 
it is possible to like a film that focuses on grime and sick behaviour ( ie . 
 "" se7en "" ) , but it takes a large measure of restraint ( schumacher has none ) and a larger amount of talent ( schumacher has little ) . 
by those jabs , i'm not only referring to his stylish destruction of the "" batman "" franchise , but "" a time to kill "" was an immensely overrated disappointment . 
for a guy who gets so much studio money , his track record of making rather bad movies is unparalleled . 
a good screenwriter and a good director can make you hypnotically watch even disgusting subject matter . 
writer andrew kevin walker didn't recapture the smarts of the fascinating script he authored for '95s twisted thriller , "" se7en "" . 
director schumacher doesn't have that innate ability to make you watch things you don't really want to see like better directors are capable of doing . 
he must not have believed hitchcock who espoused the theory that what we don't see is more frightening than what we do ( especially when it's a scene where young girl is supposed to be murdered ) . 
however , gratuitous is joel's middle name . 
he must think that not flaunting a hard-core act of violent sex is showing plenty of tactful restraint . 
no , he doesn't go that far , but we see enough unpleasantness . 
he doesn't leave much to the imagination . 
it's manipulating to hurt ( or kill ) young girls just to get the audience on the side of a murderous vigilante . 
the script and acting should be what gets us to believe in these characters , yet schumacher has no subtlety in his ( ha ha ! ) 
craft . 
case in point , a shot of a christian fellowship bus ( good , right ? ) 
drives away to reveal one of the villains ( bad , right ? ) . 
see . . . no 
subtlety . 
does joel think we're stupid or that we need to be held by the hand to comprehend the contrasting imagery ? 
who do we root for in this mess ? 
is there anybody out there ? 
it's not all the director's fault , though . 
why did the actors sign up for this ? 
nicolas cage is an oscar-winner , for cryin' out loud ! 
if he claims to do films to challenge himself and for the artistic merit rather than the money , what was he smoking when this script dropped on his veranda ? 
what is cage supposed to be in this movie--a whispering batman without the charisma and pointed ears ? 
villainous peter stormare is five steps past hammy . 
and what is james gandolfini doing in this trash ? 
he was so solid as a concerned father in "" a civil action "" . 
i guess ol' nic , pete , and jim were promised a mountain of money . . . or 
they're suckers . 
or they just don't care . 
there are moments ( albeit brief ones ) where this rises above the wasteland . 
catherine keener is good ( although too quick to threaten divorce ) as mrs . wells . 
baby cindy is obviously cute and wells' devout love of his daughter is sweet . 
the mother ( amy norton ) of the girl in the infamous 8mm film is not too bad as a woman dealing with the uncertain loss of her runaway daughter . 
this film has an appropriate blue-toned , washed-out look like "" payback "" ( which was a much better movie ) . 
the editing is okay in scenes of no dialogue , but at other times it's rough . 
during some conversations , close-ups and wide shots are not cut very well , making it look to be editted by someone whose instincts aren't good and whose timing was a half-second off . 
such a technical error indeed stands out . 
speaking of standing out , don't believe the misleading trailers . 
there's not much action here . 
occasionally , yes , but not as often as your tv will have you believe . 
after seeing "" 8mm "" , i may not be interested in ever watching any kind of porn again . 
is that a positive ? 
well , if making me almost ill at the thought of glimpsing a dirty movie again is their motive , they've done a swell job here . 
it'll be a long time before i give a schumacher film another chance--unless i lose my mind and become seriously depraved . 
but today i'm not depraved , so i ask , why does this film preach that this garbage is out there and that society should be worried about it ? 
i'm sure that somewhere right now there's some pretty sick crap going on , but that doesn't mean i need to know about it . 
yes , mr . walker , your script tells us that there are some screwed-up folks out there . 
yes , mr . walker , the proverbial monster doesn't look like we expect him to . 
you said all that in 1995 . 
move on . 
this film serves no purpose . 
it doesn't entertain , it doesn't teach us anything , it doesn't make a statement beyond the obvious "" this stuff is bad "" approach . 
only if this film awakens the authorities to find a way to abolish these types of horrors would it ever do someting truly worthwhile . 
that's not likely to happen , though , so "" 8mm "" is indeed a scummy waste of money . 
orson welles said years ago in a tribute to film , "" to movies . . . to 
good movies "" . 
if only joel schumacher and the producers had listened and told andrew kevin walker to bury this crud deep in a hole . 
like "" snuff "" films , "" 8mm "" should never have been made . 
now , excuse me while i go try to forget i ever saw it . 
useless trivia--joel schumacher loves the vigilante theme . 
he used it in "" batman forever "" , in "" batman & robin "" , in "" a time to kill "" , in "" falling down "" , and it's rumoured that joel himself will play the vigilante at his breakfast table tomorrow . . . 
"
"-1","in the james bond film "" diamonds are forever , "" tiffany case asks 007 whether he prefers brunettes to redheads . 
bond's response is that it doesn't really matter , as long as collars and cuffs match . 
well , collars and cuffs don't match in "" the real blonde . "" 
what might have sounded good on paper ends up as a largely unfunny , meandering comedy on screen . 
the film , supposedly a satire of the superficiality of soap operas and the modeling business , is wafer thin . 
it plays like an "" ally mcbeal "" episode dragged out to the nth degree , replete with a few unnecessary "" fantasy "" sequences . 
writer/director tom dicillo manages the material as if poking fun at daytime dramas is a fresh idea . 
it isn't . 
the only surprise here is that the talented dicillo could make familiar terrain so dreary . 
matthew modine plays joe , a struggling actor waiting tables in order to pay the rent . 
he's 35 with no agent and no credits since he's too proud to take on roles in commercials or soap operas . 
 "" that's not really acting "" he tells his girlfriend of six years , mary ( catherine keener ) , with whom he bickers constantly about sex . 
but they need the money , so joe finally agrees to take a part in a madonna video . 
but it's not really madonna starring in the video but a lookalike ( played by elizabeth berkley , still trying to jump-start her career after "" showgirls "" ) . 
this points out how artificial this whole business is , one supposes . 
dicillo has referred to "" the real blonde "" as "" off-kilter , but an interesting combination of all sorts of stuff . . . "" 
the film , which wanders all over the place without getting anywhere , is remarkably * on * -kilter and , with perhaps the single exception of the always-likable modine ( who's not afraid to stand around in a very unattractive bathing suit surrounded by hunks ) , the entire cast is vague and uninteresting . 
catherine keener , who's appeared in dicillo's previous three films ( including the brilliant "" living in oblivion "" ) , is at her most annoying in "" the real blonde . "" 
look at her closely ; she really can't act at all . 
her reactions are all wrong , almost always out of sync with her co-stars . 
she reacts too soon , or too late , to lines and situations . 
she moves her eyes , or her mouth , far too much . 
she frowns , she yells , she babbles--she blows chunks . 
maxwell caulfield plays joe's actor/waiter buddy bob , the one obsessed with dating a "" natural "" blonde . 
bob's personality ( not to mention caulfield's acting ability ) parallels that of the character he plays on the soap opera "" passion crest "" --stiff and uninteresting . 
maybe that's the point . 
daryl hannah is dim and uninteresting as the real blonde of the title , a soap dish who beds bob both on- and off-camera . 
hannah looks about fifty in this movie ( she's only 37 ) . 
why is that ? 
almost all the women in the film wear tops that show their nipples . 
why is that ! ? 
marlo thomas plays an uninteresting fashion photographer . 
kathleen turner plays an uninteresting talent agent . 
buck henry plays an uninteresting shrink . 
christopher lloyd plays an uninteresting caterer . 
and so on . 
the best parts of the "" the real blonde "" are the beginning and the end , brief scenes of an elderly woman losing and then finding her dog . 
there's more depth and sincerity in a single close-up of her expressive face than in the entire film . 
while this contrast is supposedly meant to highlight the shallowness of the other characters' lives , the only thing that makes shallow and superficial interesting is if it's funny . 
"
"-1","if i were to plot a graph of year against movie-plot-ridiculity for = hollywood movies , you'll probably see a line with constant gradient . 
= now , if i were to plot that same graph for the movies that the michael = bay/jerry bruckheimer has made over the last 4 years , that line would be = exponential in growth . 
the team started out with the will smith vehicle = bad boys which was no more than a 2hr long action-music-video , = nevertheless entertaining . 
then came the rock , where audiences flocked = to see nicholas cage team up with sean connery against some terrorizing = general fighting over some stupid cause . 
con-air was ridiculousy dumb in = its premise but it did have fun moments , and who can forget the nursery = rhyme sang by that psycho killer played by steve buscemi . 
while these = movies worked because there was something better to cover-up the dirt , = armageddon does not . 
very much like deep impact , a meteor is heading towards earth and they = didn't realize it until 18 days from impact . 
deep impact settled with = the modest meteor size as large as the city of new york but armageddon = just had to be bigger . . . . well 
about the size of texas ( that kinda meteor = whould probably knock earth out of its orbit ! ) . 
the panic of this = sighting spurs the idea of landing people on the meteor , drill it then = nuke it ( sounds familiar ) and who better to do such a job than harry = stamper ( bruce willis ) , your very own oil-driller extraordinaire and = his team of macho-misfits , nursing the tagline `there ain't nothin' on = this planet that harry can't drill ! ' . 
in that 18 days , harry's group was = split into 2 teams , trained for deep-space flight and finally blasted = into space in with special drilling vehicles on 2 new space shuttles . 
the main relationship drama of armageddon is formed within the = relationship of harry , a . j . 
and grace . 
to give you an idea , a . j . 
works = for harry , and loves grace , harry's daughter . 
the problem is , harry = hates to see his daughter hanging around some scruffy grunt like himself = for the rest of her life . 
so while a . j . 
and harry struts it out , grace = is place in a position where she is unable to take sides , so she remains = seated in the nasa control tower , crying over both of them in about 80% = of the movie . 
the human elements this movie tries to inject proves to be nothing more = than just an excuse for more slow-mo's and gold-tinted photography . 
the = anguish of the world is potrayed with scenes of people praying , running = for their lives or just sitting still staring at the sky , sounds fine = right ? 
i know , but it looks too out of place on screen , too staged . 
if = you were to ask yourself , `what's the difference between armageddon and = a r&b music video ? "" 
you'd probably just said `the music . "" . 
not = surprising since michael bay is a child of that industry and has = actually managed to transpose his mtv skills to screen successfully . 
his = foray into armageddon just proves that he doesn't when to stop . 
well there's really nothing much to sum up here . 
the = stock-aitken-waterman of hollywood movies have projected their art-form = into ridiculity , beyond the plane believability , where people still = accept even if they didn't believe . 
deep impact was ridiculous in most = aspects and i believe the makers know this . 
the thing is , they decided = to shroud myth and fantasy with a purely believable human tale of = suffering and coming in terms with ones problems , which ultimately = brought it above the ashes which it had initially put itself in . 
= armageddon , is an overcrowded , loud , messy , preposterously manipulative = waste of money and deserves to remain in that same pile of ash . . =20 
if you have planned to watched this over deep impact because of liv = tyler , bruce willis or the tagline "" from the makers of `the rock' ! ! "" . 
= please catch deep impact before it finishes its run , it may be the only = meteor worth watching in long-long time . 
if you have to see it , please = bring ear-plugs and some aspirins ( for the vertigo ) . 
expect armageddon = ld's to retail at s$19 . 90 at carrefour come release time . 
gee . . . . . . even 
= that's not worth it ! 
"
"-1"," "" tina ! ! ! fetch me the axe ! ! ! "" 
a favourite book of mine called the golden turkey awards relates the story that when mommie dearest was unleashed upon unsuspecting audiences back in 1981 , paramount soon realised they had a problem on their hands . 
it wasn't just the film's disappointing box office performance . 
indeed , in the coming years some people would be going back to see it two , three , even six times . 
no , the main problem was that what was intended as a serious biopic of screen queen joan crawford was turning into the laugh riot of the year . 
in a desperate attempt to capitalise on this unexpected turn of events , some publicity hacks dreamed up outrageous print advertisements screaming : "" mommie dearest : the biggest mommie of them all ! "" . 
executives at paramount were appalled and soon had the ads withdrawn , but it was all too late . 
mommie dearest was already cementing its place in camp cinema history . 
unfortunately , faye dunaway's energetic , at times ridiculously over-the-top performance is about the film's only redeeming feature . 
based on daughter christina crawford's trashy biography , mommie dearest chronicles a series of mainly private events in the life of her moviestar mother . 
if you believe this movie , it was a life was racked by obsession , lonliness , child abuse and rampant egomania . 
the film begins with crawford adopting two children , and concludes in the office of her lawyer where her now grown-up daughter and son find out they have been left out of their mother's will . 
joan always wanted her kids to be able to fend for themselves , you see . 
but that's about the only thread in the narrative that manages to survive to the film's end . 
the script - laboured over by four writers , a bad sign in itself - is a poorly connected series of episodes that builds little dramatic momentum . 
frank perry's direction is no more than competent , and dunaway's bitchy lines aside , the dialogue is flat and uninvolving . 
in fairness , the film's second half ditches some of the cartoon hysterics and does develop a degree empathy for its characters . 
when the adult christina moves out of home into her own modest dwelling , joan visits and keeps in touch , not helping her financially but encouraging christina's own acting and career ambitions . 
crawford does seem to care about her daughter , but you can sense the emotional distance and feel some of their pain . 
you also get glimpses of what the film could have been in the hands of better writers . 
ah , but there is dunaway's performance . 
and what a delicious piece of campery it often is . 
having just been sacked by her studio after a run of box office duds , crawford storms home late at night and proceeds to go ballistic in the garden . 
she has the maid drag the kids out of bed to come down and clean up the mess she's making . 
spotting a young tree she doesn't like the look of , she turns to the trembling christina and utters the immortal line "" tina ! ! 
fetch me the axe ! ! "" 
with which she proceeds to enthusiastically dismember the poor sapling . 
in the film's most outrageous scene , joan realises that some of her daughter's clothes are hanging on wire coat hangers . 
oh dear ! 
sounds like the perfect excuse for another temper tantrum , doesn't it ? 
this time she gives her daughter a horrible beating while delivering another classic outburst : "" no . . . wire . . . hangers . . . . ever ! ! ! ! "" . 
and later , when the board of her late husband's company pepsi cola tries to divest her of her directorship , she displays a superb grasp of business etiquette by jumping to her feet and roaring : "" don't fuck with me , fellas ! ! "" . 
oh joy ! 
something of a camp classic , then , but if that's not you're cup of tea then mommie dearest doesn't have too much to recommend it . 
better you see the real crawford in the women ( 1939 ) , mildred pierce ( 1945 ) or whatever happened to baby jane ( 1962 ) . 
great films distinguished by great performances , and a far more eloquent testament to this great woman than frank perry's shrieking piece of tabloid froth . 
"
"-1","phil ( radmar jao ) has a hairy problem . 
his beard is growing so rapidly that he has to shave every hour . 
he recently met the author of a non-fiction book on lycanthropy , also referred to in the movie as werewolfism , and phil now believes that his problem is that he has become a werewolf . 
using enough chains and handcuffs to be a hit at a sadomasochists convention , he ties himself in at night lest his urges overcome him . 
and phil is just one of the many quirky characters that inhabit shopping for fangs . 
made on a pittance , the film features an almost exclusively asian-american cast . 
as directed by quentin lee and justin lin , the movie is so amateurishly bad that it could almost be a parody of indie films . 
jeanne chin plays katherine , a meek and soft-spoken wife , who worries that her husband is unhappy with her because she is not giving him enough sex . 
we know this through the endless scenes of her confessing her sins , real and imagined , to her therapist . 
as her husband , jim , clint jung plays a muscle man with a macho crudeness . 
the picture is filled with stereotypes . 
there's a mysterious , loud-mouthed waitress with a big , platinum blonde wig who brags to everyone she meets that she's a lesbian . 
she spends most of the movie putting the moves on her favorite customer , a gay guy . 
and the lone white with a major role , the author on werewolfism , has wildly unkempt , orangey blonde , curly hair . 
from its opening scene of an attempted rape at knifepoint to its easy to guess ending twist , the script rarely has anything to offer . 
the story is so minimally developed that it feels almost like the actors were ad-libbing . 
one can only hope that the directors' next film will have some substance and some credible acting . 
shopping for fangs runs 1 : 30 . 
it is rated r for sex , violence , and profanity and would be fine for older teenagers . 
"
"-1","writer/director lawrence kasdan had a hand in penning some of the biggest film successes of the 1980s . 
yes , that's right , he co-wrote raiders of the lost ark ( 9/10 ) , the empire strikes back ( 8 . 5/10 ) and return of the jedi ( 8/10 ) . 
now with this film , it looks as though he has decided to test his skills at mediocre screenwriting and bland directing . 
and guess what ? 
he succeeds once again ! 
plot : a man with a shady and regrettable past decides to run away and into a small american town , where he pretends to be a licensed psychologist to an open-armed swarm of people with problems . 
it isn't long before he befriends the small-town billionaire , folks become suspicious and he falls for one of his own patients . 
critique : this film is not a comedy ! 
it is a drama . 
i say this right up front because from the looks of the trailer , you would think that this film secures its base in humor , but unfortunately for us , it does not . 
it is a serious film ( seriously flawed if you ask me , but i digress ) which offers a couple of witty quips to keep you awake , but overall , just sits there . 
now on to my review . 
this movie sucks because it was slow and boring , starred an uninteresting protagonist with an unbelievable past , included extremely dull patients whose problems left me indifferent at best and pissed at worst , and certified it all with many a predictable ending . 
i have no idea what lawrence kasdan was trying to accomplish with this picture , but whatever it was . . . he 
missed ! 
anyone without his name could never have made this film because it is an extremely generic puff-piece , which on a good day , might be described as predictably digestible . 
it's no wonder that the studio is trying to sell it as a comedy ! 
it sucks as a drama , and bored my movie cohort right to sleep . 
i've given it four points on four extremely shallow yet distinguishable marks . 
first of all , i couldn't help but think about how much the lead actor , loren dean , looked like a young charles grodin . 
he even acted like him , save for the dry , sardonic wit . 
this kept me interested in watching him at least . 
number two , and this one is really shallow ( seemed to be geared that way as well ) , there were quite a few "" titshots "" , as they would say back in high school . 
and god help me if i can't get enough of those in an aimless drama . 
and three , and this one surprised me the most , actor ted danson's cameo ( yes , he will always be sam malone to us real fans ! ) was the best part about this movie and actually made me see him as a different person . 
a different asshole , but a different person nonetheless . 
if ever you rent this movie one day ( promise you won't throw away your hard-earned money at the theaters ? ! ) , 
wait for his scene because it's actually pretty good . 
other than that , drab , drab , drab and drab . 
even jason lee , a personal favorite of mine , was left out to dry with lame dialogue and one of the phoniest romances to hit the big screen in a while . 
well , at least he finally "" came out "" and did some real skateboarding in this movie ! 
oh yeah , and i guess that's the fourth point in my rating . 
anyway , if you enjoy watching boring patients babble on about their boring problems to an uninteresting psychologist . . . this 
film's your bag ! 
otherwise , skip it and see analyze this ( 8/10 ) again . . . now 
there's a great shrink movie ! 
little known facts about this film and its stars : "" three's company "" fans alert ! ! ! 
terri from the tv show , also known as actress priscilla barnes , plays a small but pivotal part as the landlady in this film . 
the scene is actually a fantasy sequence and does feature cleavage , so stay tuned , kids ! 
also , it is to note that the actress was once named "" penthouse pet of the month "" in march of 1976 . 
she was known as one joann witty back then . 
she's originally from jersey . 
who the hell is loren dean , the dude who plays mumford in this film ? 
you got me , but all i know is that he was born in las vegas in 1969 and played the character of billy bathgate in the 1991 film of the same name . 
jason lee was born in the state of california in the year of 1971 . 
he was a professional skateboarder before his acting career took off after mallrats ( 6/10 ) , and even owns his own skateboarding company called stereo manufacturing corp . he's been in every kevin smith film except for clerks ( 8 . 5/10 ) . 
listen closely and you will hear the pharmacist in this film ( the ballooning actor formerly known as pruit taylor vince ) make a reference to the "" lost ark "" , which is obviously an in-joke , considering that it is the writer/director of this film , lawrence kasdan , who co-wrote raiders of the lost ark ( 9/10 ) . 
kasdan also played the part of dr . green in 1997's as good as it gets ( 8/10 ) . 
ted danson also played the role of lawyer peter lowenstein in kasdan's 1981 directorial debut body heat starring a sexy kathleen turner and william hurt . 
"
"-1","ladies and gentlemen , payback is the most expensive episode of "" the equalizer "" i've ever seen . 
gibson plays porter , a burglar shot and left for dead by his wife ( deborah kara unger , in an all-too-brief cameo ) and partner ( henry ) after a successful heist . 
as a morgue attendant sets about removing the bullets from porter's back , porter miraculously springs back to life . 
he makes it his mission , as a walking dead man without a conscience , to exact revenge on those who screwed him and reclaim his share of the loot . 
 ( in a running gag , porter demands $70 000 , but everybody mishears him and assumes he's after the entire $130 000 haul . ) 
in his travels ( or travails ) , porter encounters several other one-named villainous cretins like fairfax ( james coburn as a white-haired , millionaire thief ) and carter ( kristofferson , as a brown-haired , millionaire thief-the kingpin of the obligatory "" operation "" ) . 
helgeland's film ( which was recut by mel the producer ) is devoid of an imperative dime store charm . 
the novelty of seeing a big movie star mercilessly dispatching criminals wears off quickly : a ) because the bad guys can only be differentiated by their coifs , and b ) because mel's schtick doesn't evolve from act one-he's the terminator stranded in a plot without a sci-fi hook to keep us interested after the initial sadistic thrill is gone . 
payback should have been called playback : it's a 102-minute loop of the same short sequence . 
 ( mel : "" i want my money . "" 
anonymous villain : "" no . "" 
mel shoots gun . 
anonymous villain dies . 
mel meets up with his hooker friend ( bello ) . 
second verse , same as the first . ) 
it's not porter's single-mindedness that robs the film of snap , crackle , and pop ; as a character who has already "" died "" once , he has nothing to lose and so much to gain . 
the movie lacks danger . 
the only thing porter is in jeopardy of is putting the audience to sleep . 
payback has a gritty , metallic look to it that also becomes monotonous ; its cinematography would be more appropriate in one of those bleak urban psychodramas that come out of england every couple of months . 
 ( director of photography ericson core should have been fired early on for lighting bello , so va-va-va-voom in permanant midnight , to look like a potato in a gregg allman wig . ) 
to analyze such mediocrity is to grant payback far more attention than it deserves . 
perhaps only someone as experienced with antagonists-as-protagonists as tarantino-look what he did with the similar hero-less botched-robbery tale reservoir dogs-could have pulled off this material ( a loose remake of john boorman's point blank ) . 
the movie presents us with the conventions of pulp fiction ( all women are femme fatales ; even the cops are in on it , etc . ) and crosses them with the conventions of cheesy tv crime melodramas ( death is never in the cards for the main character , etc . ) but transcends neither . 
"
"-1","when you've run out of old tv shows to turn into movies , i guess you try video games . 
why did i go to see mortal kombat : annihilation ? 
the quest to seek an answer to this query may prove a better movie that the one i just saw . 
this film was a bunch of fighting , yelling , special effects , and bad acting set to an oppressive techno music soundtrack . 
the plot is fairly simple : a portal has opened between our world and the "" outworld "" , allowing evil forces commanded by shao kahn ( brian thompson ) to wreak havoc and attempt to destroy humanity . 
the good guys , led by sorcerer rayden ( james remar ) and human mortal liu kang ( robin shou ) , must take the fight to outworld , where the fate of both worlds will be determined . 
here's the catch : they must reunite princess katana ( talia soto ) , who's on the good side , with her resurrected mother queen sindel ( musetta vander ) , who's on the bad side , for their love for each other will close the portal and ensure humanity's safety for another generation . 
how this is supposed to work , i still have no idea , but i liked katana's line , "" i knew love would keep us together , "" since that captain and tennille song ran through my head and i got a good laugh . 
there are some seriously stupid things in this movie . 
take , for example , a transportation system which utilizes the "" inner winds "" , generated by earth's magma flows . 
you get in this metal ball which transports you through underground tunnels really fast . 
how fast ? 
as katana says , "" you will be moving so fast , it will be as if you are not moving at all . "" 
what ? 
later , sonya blade ( sandra hess ) goes to find jax ( lynn "" red "" williams , otherwise known as "" saber "" on tv's american gladiators ) at a medical research facility on the island of oahu . 
how do we know this is where she went ? 
there's a sign on the facility's perimeter fence that reads : medical research facility - oahu , hawaii . 
remember , this is not a caption , but an actual sign . 
i guess the location is on there for all those medical researchers who keep forgetting where they are . 
there's a lot of major flipping action , too . 
the first encounter between good and evil shows kahn and rayden swiftly arching though the air toward one another . 
do they land and immediately get into the fighting ? 
does one of them land first and catch the other off guard ? 
do they collide in mid-air ? 
no , apparently they flip toward each other so they can talk without having to yell from far away . 
why did they need those metal balls to travel ? 
everyone could have just flipped from point a to point b . 
i have to admit , the fight scenes are pretty good , although you can tell they are heavily enhanced by digital effects and fly wires , allowing the characters to surpass the limits of the human body and the laws of physics . 
the movie's thrills are derived from these scenes and most of the audience responses are on the visceral level when someone gets trashed really badly . 
 "" ouch "" was the most common expletive heard when i screened this one . 
you could tell that the filmmakers knew in advance that fights , not plot , would be the main draw , since dialog is apparently in the film just to get from one fight to the next . 
it seems that's all there is in this movie . 
maybe it is . 
as i had mentioned , the acting is bad . 
there's not one solid performance in the film , although williams as jax was pretty funny . 
after a fight between sonya and one of the bad guys degenerates into female mud wrestling , jax says , "" you look good in mud . 
no , really , you do . "" 
remar plays rayden with an inconsistency which makes it hard to take his character seriously , and shou is relatively emotionless as liu kang . 
brian thompson , who has played good guys , bad guys , and even an alien on tv's the x-files , but always some muscle-bound behemoth , is your average evil demi-god , but it's more the script's fault than his own that he doesn't have anything original to say . 
the one really impressive thing about this movie is that there is not one swear word in the whole hour and a half . 
another thing which should be noted is that for all its punching and kicking , blood only appears in one scene . 
all in all , mortal kombat : annihilation is loud , violent , shallow , and marketed toward kids . 
hey , just like the video game ! 
"
"-1","the swooping shots across darkened rooftops suggest a very tim burton movie , but , alas , no caped crusader descends to save * this * film . 
instead , it's a skeletal housemaid ( julia roberts ) who must bear witness to this unfortunate retelling of "" dr . 
jekyll and mr . hyde . "" 
for a few , fleeting , maddening moments , director stephen frears ( dangerous liaisons ) gets everything just right-- the tone , the colors , the characters ; all the ingredients to make a most-powerful potion out of valerie martin's best-selling novel . 
yet it fizzles too quickly ; the volatile mixture losing potency from the very first scene . 
casting is a large part of the problem . 
the story all but collap- ses around ms . roberts-- she doesn't have the range for this kind of drama . 
her accent also comes and goes , though it's nowhere near as glaring as the total lack of chemistry between her and co-star john malkovich . 
 ( he looks the same in both of his roles-- an incredible fact that's missed by everyone in the story ! ) 
the very british supporting cast-- including michael gambon and george cole-- gives credibility to the smaller parts . 
glenn close also appears as a madam that the good doctor calls upon . 
her performance is as close to intentional camp as the movie ever gets and-- as a bonus-- offers a likely peek at her upcoming cruella de ville in the live-action 101 dalmantions . 
the biggest botch in mary reilly is suspense : there is none . 
no terror , no tension ; nothing . 
without any weight , wit , or wonder to propel the story , the viewer is left with little more to do than pay attention to the period detail , a few buckets of blood , and stuart craig's fabulously dreary production design . 
all of which gets old after about an hour , at which point i recommend leaving . 
 ( the pacing in the second-half is especially abominable . 
if you * do * stick it through , your sole reward is a half-hokey special effect depicting the infamous transformation . ) 
mr . frears reportedly recut his film several times , missing several release dates in the process . 
 ( obviously , no one advised him to throw up his hands and just turn the whole damned thing over to mel brooks . 
blucher ! ) 
mary reilly is the second robert louis stevenson story of the month , after muppet treasure island . 
perhaps mr . frears should consult with brian henson on future projects . 
i daresay that even ms . piggy is a better choice for a certain roles than julia roberts . 
and she does have a great chop ! 
"
"-1","guilt . guilt is something i felt while watching basic instinct for the ninth time ; the penultimate t & a thriller , basic instinct made my last few teenage years worth living . 
but i know so well that it's a terrible film , made by a terrible director incapable of feeling guilt . 
verhoeven went on to make the even more offensive showgirls and , on november seventh , 1997 , unleashed starship troopers to innocent moviegoers like me , who cannot control the urge to see giant bug movies . 
the pic begins with the most unintentional laugh of the year . 
a simple , white on black title card reads "" starship troopers "" -my friends and i speculated that the night before the prints were shipped , verhoeven realized he forgot the credits . 
is this how a hundred million dollar movie should open ? 
were the rest of the film that subdued . . . 
starship troopers is about a group of white , blond-haired himbos and bimbos who all have spanish last names . 
they graduate high school , join the military , and then , rather curiously , decide to travel to an alien planet and destroy all lifeforms on that planet . 
the story is so incomprehensible , and told so bombastically , it's akin to 129 minutes of someone screaming punishments at you in a foreign tongue . 
 ( aside , club lovers will be happy to know that dance music hasn't changed in the future . ) 
one plus : starship troopers contains some very funny sequences , specifically the newsreels of the future . 
hysterically funny , actually . 
but the cynicism of these reports left me curious as to whether verhoeven felt pessimistic about the story in between . 
the storytelling lacks focus , to say the least . 
the politics of the film are scary . 
the actions of the major female characters are dictated by their out-of-control libidos . 
there's even a creepy sex scene : the lovely dina meyer makes out , nude , with the sickening van dien while half her face is covered by her opaque sweater , just the way he seems to like it . 
i use the term sickening because van dien is the least appealing actor i've encountered in a big budget picture ; all chiseled features and machismo , he even barks a eulogy at a funeral like military orders . 
of course , verhoeven's probably the one to blame , and perhaps i'm jealous because i'm so disgusting . 
at any rate , a movie called starship troopers shouldn't be about sex . 
exactly ten years ago , verhoeven made robocop , which was about nothing but skillfully made and oddly moving . 
and r-rated , despite its goofy premise . 
maybe it's asking too much for verhoeven to make a pg-movie , then-he's a master of insipid violence . 
however , ten year old boys would adore starship troopers if they could see it . 
"
"-1"," "" what's your favorite new york moment ? "" 
 "" this one's climbing the charts . "" 
starring john cusack , kate beckinsale , eugene levy , molly shannon . 
directed by peter chelsom . 
rated pg-13 . 
there's no doubt that 95% of romantic comedies follow a distinct pattern : guy sees girl , guy wants girl , guy goes through unreasonable obstacles to get girl , guy gets girl . 
in rare cases , the genders are flipped . 
predictability is a given . 
rarely , though , is a romantic comedy as cheap , as obvious , or as pointless as serendipity , a film that uses its "" theme "" as an excuse for its plot contrivances . 
 "" lightweight "" doesn't begin to describe it . 
this is like anti-gravity . 
it begins in a new york city bloomingdale's , a product placement that rivals cast away's fedex for sheer blatancy . 
jonathan trager ( john cusack ) and sara thomas ( kate beckinsale ) both go for the same pair of gloves . 
after going through the perfunctory motions , jonathan gets to keep the gloves and the two of them go out for ice cream , followed by ice skating . 
jonathan falls hard , and sara is charmed . 
when she writes her name and number down on a piece of paper , a truck rumbles by and blows it out of her hand . 
she takes this as a sign from fate that they shouldn't be together ; jonathan is flabbergasted . 
to pacify him , she comes up with an idea : jonathan will write his number on a 5 dollar bill , which she will promptly spend . 
when she gets home , she will write her name and number inside a book ( "" love in the time of cholera "" ) and sell it to a used bookstore . 
if the bill gets back to her or the book to him , it will mean that they are meant to be together . 
three years later . 
both sara and jonathan are now engaged to other love interests . 
both realize they aren't content . 
both go looking for the other . 
what happens now is so absurd that i'm almost tempted to recommend the film for the sake of seeing it . 
the two of them run circles around each other in a set of incredible "" coincidences "" that i would describe as contrivances if it weren't for the film oh-so-cleverly dismissing that criticism by building its plot around "" serendipity . "" 
of course , since the movie is about fate , the screenwriter can do anything he damn well pleases . 
i'm not buying it . 
there's no suspense in any of this because we know exactly what's going to happen , but serendipity insists on drilling its purportedly "" adorable "" non-story into our heads . 
instead of "" will they meet ? "" 
the question we're asking is "" when will they meet already ? "" 
to make matters worse , every "" coincidence "" is telegraphed from a mile away ; by the last reel i was bored enough to actively look for signs that something else "" incredible "" was going to happen . 
cusack is fine and beckinsale , at least , isn't saddled with another lumbering , clunky screenplay ( she's had bad luck , what with brokedown palace and pearl harbor on her resume ) , just an inanely pointless one . 
serendipity also relieves the tedium with the amazing eugene levy , who plays a snarky bloomingdale's salesman . 
what's the interest in watching a movie that spirals around and around a predestined ( no pun intended ) conclusion ? 
serendipity wants to tug at the heartstrings , but it only tests our patience . 
"
"-1","i didn't come into city of angels expecting greatness . 
i've never seen wim wenders' wings of desire , the classic movie upon which city is loosely based . 
then again , i have seen enough stories which are based upon a similar plot device , with the little mermaid ( both the disney version and the original folktale ) being among them , that i had some high expectations about the possible power such a story of impossible love can hold . 
unfortunately , city of angels ended up fulfilling few of them . 
the plot , for those that couldn't tell from the previews , revolves around the angel seth , played with an almost creepy intensity by nicolas cage , who , in the midst of his angelic duties , falls in love with a heart surgeon named maggie ( meg ryan in her most endearing performance since when harry met sally ) . 
of course , his being an angel prevents him from doing much about his love except appearing at random times to talk to her , watch her buy groceries , only to disappear in the blink of an eye . 
their love must remain unrequited unless seth decides to make the ultimate sacrifice and become human . 
using this framework as a jumping-off point , the movie attempts to veer through some heavy philosophical ruminations on the nature of desire , the joys of being human , and the definition of perfection . 
the first half of the movie succeeds on most points . 
cage excellently plays the eminently difficult role of an angel who doesn't know feelings so can't really express , preventing the character of seth from getting boring despite his limited repertoire of intent looks and hang-dog expressions . 
unfortunately , cage takes the intensity too far sometimes , and then seth comes across as more creepy than sensitive . 
as maggie , ryan manages to be convincing as a heart surgeon who has trouble coming to terms with her having lost a patient on the operating table despite having done everything right . 
her beauty , unlike her unbearable cuteness in french kiss , is mature , intelligent , and winning . 
likewise , some interesting ideas float around at the beginning of the film . 
when the camera pans through traffic jams and libraries and we get to hear the thoughts of the random people who flash across the screen , the audience experiences a little of what it must be like to be an angel . 
the beautiful camera work , shooting down onto the hectic world of los angeles from the improbable perches of the angels , also gives us a sense of the unique wonder angels feel . 
the film begins to lose its way , though , when the focus tightens more and more on seth and maggie . 
the grand , angelic perspective gets lost , except for some idly tossed lines about the incredible beauty of the world through an angel's eyes . 
the movie devolves into an examination of how seth can't feel the world or , more importantly , he can't feel maggie : he can't smell her hair , feel her touch , or taste the pears she eats . 
this change in focus attempts to capture the audience in seth's intense longing , but in doing so , the conflict disappears . 
if he wants maggie so badly , then why doesn't her just make the leap and become human ? 
after all , what's so great about being an angel ? 
sure , you get to sit on marlboro signs , but what's that compared to getting to be with meg ryan ? 
and from there , once the yearning has been established and the romantic denouement must occur , it's all downhill . 
the philosophy becomes heavy-handed , the dialogue pedestrian when it tries to be deep , and the plot twists simply attempt to yank a few more tears into the audience's hankie . 
it's the last thirty minutes of the movie , then , that wrecks the film . 
i feel like the writer , by pulling out all the melodramatic stops , has robbed me of what could have been a genuinely powerful movie experience on both the romantic and the philosophical level . 
i came out feeling robbed , seeing so much possibility in a film becoming nothing . 
i could go on longer , but i don't want to "" ruin "" the end by revealing any of the cheap plot devices the film relies on . 
city of angels , then , is a paradox . 
it's a well-acted ( particularly look for dennis franz cutting against type-casting as a happy-go-lucky fallen angel ) , well-filmed , and based on a wonderful idea . 
all these possibilities , though , are what make the film so unredeemable when the closing credits come up . 
"
"-1","plot summary : the year is 2024 . 
the ozone layer has long since gone and the earth is now protected from radiation by a shield invented by connor mccleod . 
the shield , although saving lives , has made the atmosphere hot and humid . 
connor is a mortal and a tired old man who has given up hope . 
on returning from the opera one night connor is accosted by the leader of a "" terrorist "" organisation . 
they have tried to find out what the company that now runs the shield unit are covering up . 
connor is then attacked by two assassins sent by katana from the planet zeist ( like zeit--get it ? ) . 
they fail and connor becomes immortal again by chopping their heads off . 
he then brings ramirez back to life in glencoe in scotland . 
both ramirez and connor are rebel leaders back on zeist and have been sent to earth as punishment . 
connor now has the option to return being the last one but opts to stay with his new found immortality and fight to find out about the company and the shield . 
katana meanwhile , fearing connor would return , sets out himself to kill the highlander . 
if you have never seen it . 
being a fan of highlander and mr . connery , i was in the cinema as soon as i could to see highlander ii : the quickening . 
i wish it had been quicker . 
i feel whatever else you can say about a film ( bad script bad music , etc . ) if you sit just plain bored through most of it then nothing much else needs to be said . 
the film was short but in my opinion only twelve minutes or so ( the time mr . connery is on the screen for ) is worth watching . 
the plot sounds a little ridiculous but i was willing to give it a chance . 
maybe they could pull it off . 
instead , i find that the characters have completely changed from those in the first film . 
it's as if they are different people with the same names . 
witness connor jumping into bed with the leader of the resistance -- where is the attitude of "" who wants to live forever , when love must die "" gone to ? 
the love sub-plot * must * have had footage cut out . 
the highlander and ramirez both seemed aware of powers they had never mentioned before . 
putting our heroes in deadly situations and then having them walk away because of some new power is very annoying . 
i still want to know why connor's coat becomes flame proof when he is immortal ! 
we are not given enough time on zeist to believe in it , nor are we told why advanced aliens still use swords to kill . 
why not dynamite or laser saws or just plain bullets followed by a quick chop to the neck ? 
i know the head needs to come off but you could at least immobilise your opponent with laser rifles first . 
to be fair one assassin tried this but he must be the world's worst shot . 
meanwhile connor develops luke-skywalker-like powers of laser beam deflection . 
as for "" bad guys , "" we see a rebellion on zeist , crushed easier than a grape and then the rest of the plot depends on katana being obsessed with killing mccleod in case he returns to zeist . 
two assassins are sent , presumably they are meant to be good at killing but an aged connor kills them both with no problems . 
no more assassins are sent . 
katana , supposedly a very powerful man goes himself to kill connor . 
has he no more assassins ? 
has he no better ? 
why was the rebellion crushed so easily then ? 
michael ironside is totally unconvincing ( bring back the kurgan ) . 
he seems like a cartoon character and really isn't that evil , just stupid and violent . 
we see the hollywood trick of the chief nasty threatening a child again and killing lots of innocents . 
yet he still seems like no threat -- perhaps because he seems too stupid to threaten connor , or maybe because his two best assassins wouldn't have been amiss with larry , curly and mo . 
so much for plot and characters . 
the music is atrocious . 
it is at best intrusive and at worst annoying . 
bring back queen . 
there was an audible sigh ( of relief ? ) 
when connor played a queen track in a juke box . 
i believe this at least is to be corrected for the american release . 
the acting is at best flat , except for mr . connery . 
lambert is uninteresting and when he delivered "" there can be only one "" this time around it just made me wish there had only been one -- highlander . 
michael ironside is unconvincing ; sorry , michael , i usually like you and everyone else was incredibly forgetable . 
so why 2/10 ? 
visually the film is interesting at all times . 
it has a blade runner feel to it and some of the special effects are quite stunning . 
add to this an irrepressible sean connery who smiles throughout the whole film -- or is he smirking to himself ? 
his lines and delivery might make the film worthwhile had it not been so obvious that he cannot take the whole thing seriously at all but hey -- * i'd * have done it for 12 million . 
oh , and i agree with a previous reviewer , she * does * look like sharon stone but i believe it is her first film . 
incidentally there is a line producer credited and i hear rumours of highlander iii : the wizard . 
"
"-1","200 cigarettes takes place on new year's eve 1981 . 
monica , played by martha plimpton is having a huge new year's party . 
everyone in town is trying to get there , but some are caught up in other things . 
this is the basic plot of 200 cigarettes . 
as we meet the characters headed towards the party , we are sent into many subplots which are unoriginal , and not interesting at all . 
this disappointed me greatly . 
the film should have been more about the party than the people trying to get there in my opinion . 
lucy , played by courtney love , is with kevin , played by paul rudd . 
the two are in a relationship that is more of a friendship , but starts to blossom into something more than that . 
this subplot is extremely boring and dull , and i am getting quite sick of plots like that . 
janeane garofalo is involved in another subplot , dealing with kevin . 
she plays ellie , an ex-girlfriend of kevin's . 
this subplot is completely a waste of garofalo's talent . 
there was no point to it at all , and it was hardly even in the movie . 
when lucy runs into a bartender , played by ben affleck , another subplot is formed . 
the bartender is invited by lucy to come to monica's party . 
at the bar , he runs into two more girls . 
the girls are played by angela featherstone and nicole parker , but unfortunately , due to the terrible acting of both of them , i don't even remember their characters names . 
ben affleck is a good actor , but his character doesn't go anywhere so he doesn't have much screen time to give a good performance . 
featherstone and parker are horrible in their roles , and they are part of the reason the film is so bad . 
christina ricci plays val , and gaby hoffman plays stephie . 
the two girls are trying to get to the party but are extremely lost . 
they meet some guys and end up going around with them all night . 
this subplot was alright , but it was quite annoying with stephie's accent . 
hoffman did an okay job of acting , but ricci did good . 
she was underused , considering she is such a wonderful actress . 
another subplot in the film is the relationship between cindy , played by goldie hawn's daughter , and jack , played by jay mohr . 
jack is an actor who doesn't care about the girls he goes out with , he just likes dates for one night , and the next day he doesn't . 
kate hudson is a huge klutz . 
she gets herself into very funny situations , that are the funniest parts in the entire movie . 
they are probably the only funny parts in the entire movie as well . 
this subplot could have been used more , mainly due to hudson's performance . 
mohr wasn't good , but he wasn't bad . 
he was just alright , which i didn't find acceptable . 
there is not much to say about the performances in the film . 
none of the characters are developed or shown enough to really tell if the acting is good or not . 
the only performances that i can judge are christina ricci's as always good performance , kate hudson's funny role , courtney love's mediocre performance , and paul rudd's annoying and overused performance . 
i was hoping for a little more out of jaw mohr , ben affleck , casey affleck , gaby hoffman , dave chapelle , and especially out of janeane garofalo . 
the two strongest things in the film were the great soundtrack and the original costumes . 
martha plimpton and christina ricci had very different and original outfits which made me feel like i was in the year 1981 . 
the soundtrack is full of 1980's tunes , ranging from "" i want candy "" to "" tainted love . "" 
the songs in the movie also helped create the feel that you were back in the 1980s . 
during the film , i often found myself asking the questions , "" is there a reason to this ? 
is there any moral story ? 
is there a point ? 
are any of the events going on in the film necessary ? 
do i care what lucy and kevin are going through ? "" 
the movie is extremely boring , and by the time they reached eleven-o-clock , one hour before midnight , i could not wait for the movie to be over . 
the plot is okay , but the subplots make it terrible . 
maybe if the film was about the party , not about the people at the party , it could have been a lot better . 
the bottom line : just like a slasher movie , this ? 80s comedy is just one too many . 
"
"-1","i'll bet right now you're just lounging by the pool , humming "" i will always love you "" and wistfully recalling your candlelight dinners with success . 
it isn't necessarily over for you : i say you still have enough charm that you could avoid starring in "" kevin ! "" 
for at least a few more years . 
begin by scribbling "" the star that burns twice as bright burns half as long "" somewhere you'll always see it , perhaps on the fridge door , or on a bedroom mirror with lipstick . 
you had a heck of a thing going there until you agreed to star in robin hood : prince of thieves , where you were not only upstaged by powerhouses morgan freeman and alan rickman , but christian slater ( ! ) , several dozen tall trees , bows , arrows , and a canoe , too . 
after dances with wolves and jfk , you decided the world needed more three hour movies , expensive three hour movies , so you starred in and produced wyatt earp ; wyatt earp the man was a boring idiot who made the history books solely due to a general lack of famous wyatts . 
wyatt earp was so dull a cowboy that he died of natural causes . 
tombstone was a vastly superior movie based on the same legend , and that featured kurt russell as earp and dana delaney as his girlfriend ! 
 ( she was played by joanna going in your movie-you know , the character known best in wyatt earp as "" jew whore "" . 
what were you and lawrence kasdan thinking ? ) 
now , you're suffering the demise of yet another of your epics , the postman , a film so financially disastrous that it all but eradicated the memory waterworld's and tin cup's mildly lucrative box office takes . 
the postman is not the worst movie ever made-people in hollywood are quick to forget movies like howard the duck whenever the next bomb comes along . 
yet it is a ridiculous movie . 
i suspect you thought you had another braveheart on your hands-why else line up two armies on horesback , all prepared for battle , for the climax of your film ? -but 
 "" mailheart "" the postman is not . 
 ( i can think of some more appropriate alternate titles : post encounters of the worst kind ; farewell , my salary ; howard the postman ; the postman's never watched twice . . . ) 
what a brown movie . 
i hate brown . 
you love brown . 
dances with wolves was golden and brown-it looked like an eggo commercial . 
the postman had me running for a glass of water every two minutes ; would the post-apocalyptic world look this maddeningly bland and dry ? 
what exactly happened to this desert world , anyway ? 
did we all become so stupid that we didn't immediately begin rebuilding homes , restaurants , and most importantly , shopping malls , after "" the war "" ? 
why did you choose to drive the movie's plot with a dumb group of terrorists who , well , terrorize townfolk across america ? 
why is it only * they * have ammunition , anyway ? 
was it really appropriate to cast your daughter as a girl who has a sweet crush on you , the drifter-cum-postman ? 
why cast english actress olivia williams as an american ? 
don't you realize that european women can only deliver their big emotional scenes in their native accent ? 
 ( take a look at the less-than-stellar performances of an american-ized nicole kidman or an american-ized minnie driver . ) 
who could give a damn whether you lived or died at the end of this movie ? 
if it came down to a fight for leadership between you and the leader of the terrorists , why didn't you do that halfway through the film and save us all a lot of headaches ? 
why cast will patton as the bad guy ? 
because you worked with him in no way out ? 
sure , he's a suitably creepy villain ; know why ? 
because he's creepy in everything , including armageddon , in which he plays a heroic astronaut who practically slithers into his space suit ! 
why heroize the most demonic institution in america , the u . s . postal system ? 
was tom petty supposed to be playing tom petty ? 
if so , why didn't he look more skeletal ? 
 ( he should have been around 70 years old . ) 
why , oh why , do i have so many questions ? 
 ( i could ask plenty more . ) 
shouldn't a three hour running time have provided you enough space to answer everything ? 
you have one great line in this film , and you deliver it to a mule ! : 
 "" the things i like about my ass . . . "" 
i had to wonder . 
actually , i enjoyed the tone of the opening scenes , a relaxed cynicism , if you'll accept such clunky phrasing-too bad you couldn't resist the temptation to film yet another love letter to your country . 
ultimately , i'm saying relax . 
there is no quota , no need for you to make a picture a year . 
settle down . 
really question future screenplays before you commit to them . 
feel free to write back . 
i know how much you like letters . 
"
"-1"," "" i seem to have glued myself . . . 
to myself . "" 
starring jason biggs , seann william scott , chris klein , thomas ian nichols , allyson hannigan , shannon elizabeth , natasha lyonne , tara reid , mena suvari , eugene levy , jennifer coolidge . 
directed by j . b . rogers . 
rated r . 
american pie 2 reunites the cast members from american pie in a different setting ; instead of being high school seniors looking to score before they graduate , they are now past their first year of college and have gathered in a beach house to enjoy the summer of their lives . 
jim ( jason biggs ) is still an insecure geek looking to improve his performance , oz ( chris klein ) is still the sweetest guy on the block , having sickeningly saccharine phone conversations with his studying-abroad girlfriend , stifler ( seann william scott ) is still a horny stoner , kevin ( thomas ian nichols ) still has no personality and finch ( eddie kaye thomas ) still longs for stifler's mom . 
have i missed anyone ? 
so , obviously , not much has changed . 
this is not a problem , provided that the movie boasts the rapid-fire hilarity and unexpectedly true sentiment of the original . 
but american pie 2 is the very definition of "" sequelitis . "" 
it's coarser , yes , and it pushes the envelope even more , but its heart isn't in it . 
it's easy cash to capitalize off the first film's success , but it would have been a worthier investment to prolong the franchise by coming up with something original . 
part of the reason why the film doesn't work , i think , is that while in the original the kids' quest for sex was a coming-of-age stepping stone as much as an outlet for their horniness . 
here , everything has been cheapened . 
they behave like those idiot frat boys who kill themselves drinking ; they have no motivation except for sex , sex , beer and sex . 
that's not to say that you can't make a decent comedy from that premise , but it is one of american pie 2's undoings . 
missing , too , is the sweetness that permeated american pie , the this-could-be-you quality of the main players . 
here , the characters are too aware of themselves as pop-culture icons , and they're even more one-note . 
stifler and finch are now caricatures while jim , oz and kevin are forced to make awkward self-discoveries at arbitrary moments , none of them betraying what the writers think the audiences want to see . 
and then there's the soon-to-be-notorious scene where jim superglues "" himself to himself , "" which perfectly demonstrates yet another of the film's ailments , one that also permeated say it isn't so , director j . b . rodgers' debut . 
there's a fine line between comedy and abject humiliation , and american pie 2 is on the wrong side of it . 
it's hard to laugh at the characters when you are profoundly embarrassed for them . 
i shielded my eyes watching this more than i have watching any horror movie . 
if there's one redeeming factor to american pie 2 , it's the inimitable eugene levy as jim's dad , who pops in on jim as he's about to score and utters lines like "" your mother and i have been known to get frisky . . . 
not so much anymore , but . . . "" 
and then when the girl's parents walk in , blurts out "" this must be your daughter ! 
i didn't get her name , but hopefully my son did . "" 
if only the rest of the movie had the wit and wisdom of levy's performance . 
this is an unworthy sequel to a gross-fest that brought back the raunchy teen comedy . 
the box-office of this onw should keep the genre going strong , which is disappointing . 
the genre needs a hiatus ; filmmakers are getting lazy . 
"
"-1","i'll be the first to admit it . 
when you mention the book great expectations , i immediately begin experiencing flashbacks to junior high english class , where i was confronted with a torturously boring book filled with people with such nonsensical names as pip and magwitch . 
yes , it's a classic of literature , but it was a rather dry one , shoved down my young throat like a spoonful of bitter medicine . 
certainly , the experience wasn't truly that bad , but , to quote ethan hawke in the latest movie adaptation of said book , "" i'm not going to tell the story the way it happened . . . i'll 
gonna tell it the way i remember it . "" 
anyway , to return from nostalgia lane , and get back to the present , hollywood , in it's trendy attempt to modernize the classics , now presents an updated film version of great expectations . 
instead of pip , this time the central character is named finn ( played as a boy by jeremy kissner , and by ethan hawke as an adult ) . 
finn is an orphan being raised by his unfaithful sister maggie , or should that be mrs . joe , ( kim dickens ) , and her boorish fisherman husband , joe ( chris cooper ) . 
the setting is the florida coast during the mid-70s . 
finn is a blooming artist , and spends his time running around the beach drawing fish ( one of his two favorite subjects ) . 
during one of these escapades , he literally stumbles upon an escaped criminal ( robert deniro ) . 
borrowing a page from the superhuman max cady , deniro's criminal has a seemingly limitless lung capacity , and favors hiding on the ocean floor . 
ok . . . maybe 
that's an exaggeration , but he certainly beats any of houdini's records in the opening scenes of the film . 
and that's nothing next to the fuel efficiency of finn's motorboat , but i digress . 
anyway , finn does the convict a good deed , just to show that he's a really swell guy . 
and then the plot moves on . 
enter miss havisham . . . or 
ms . dinsmoor here ( anne bancroft ) . 
abandoned at the altar some 26 years ago , ms . dinsmoor is the epitome of the crazy rich old maid . 
with bizarre clothing , eccentric mannerisms and a few pounds of makeup , anne bancroft seriously overacts in this role . 
although she ends up nowhere near a believable character , she does add some humor to the film . 
joe is hired to help with the gardening at her unkempt manner , but the insane ms . dinsmoor soon hires finn to be a plaything for her niece , estella ( raquel beaudene as a young girl , gwyneth paltrow as an adult ) . 
for no apparent reason , other than to provide the main plot of the film , finn is instantly stricken for the estella . 
perhaps it's her snooty attitude or her utter disdain for his person , or maybe finn has simply never met a girl before . 
in any case , neither as children nor adults , chemistry simply doesn't exist between the two , and yet finn spends the remainder of the film pining for her . 
even when , as an adult , finn arrives in new york at the behest of a mysterious benefactor , reacquaints himself with estella , and draws her portrait in the nude , there's nothing . 
in fact , there is more sexual tension between helen hunt and greg kinnear's gay artist during a similar scene in as good as it gets . 
at this point , the audience has grown as cold and detached as estella's character , and couldn't care less about the two characters . 
the bulk of the blame here falls upon gwyneth paltrow . 
she fails to imbue estella , a remote character in the book , with even the vaguest traces of humanity . 
there's obviously something wrong when , watching the film , you're more interested with how big her nose looks in silhouette than you are about her character . 
without a strong estella , finn's obsession seems baseless . 
you wish he would just stop whining , let estella marry his rival , walter plane ( an oddly subdued hank azaria ) , and just get on with his life . 
in fact , the two relationships that work in the film are purely tangential to the main plot . 
finn's relationship with his brother-in-law , joe , is interesting , if a bit stereotypical . 
what's more fascinating are his interactions with deniro . 
although it's only a bit part , it goes to show how much vitality a strong actor can create . 
it is apparent that director alfonso cuarsn put a lot of work in creating the imagery of the film . 
some of the shots work , but others are too obviously staged ( for example , both of the water fountain scenes ) to have any impact . 
finn's art ( actually the creations of italian painter , francesco clemente ) is used throughout the film , but it mostly fails to have the intended effect . 
we never see why finn would generate this style of art , which is simultaneously crude and insightful . 
as a result , it ends up as distant as the rest of the film . 
modernizing the classics is currently in vogue ( just see william shakespeare's romeo+juliet ) . 
simply update the action to a modern setting , and apply plenty of modern rock . 
but such adornments do little to perk up great expectations . 
as much as i dreaded the novel when i first read it , you'd probably be better off suffering though a reading than watching this romanceless film . 
"
"-1"," "" you damn dirty apes ! "" 
that's just one of the inadvertenty hilarious lines from planet of the apes that's taken on a comedic context over time . 
no one back then seemed to realize how over-the- top charlton heston's acting style was , but it shows now , particularly in this "" mystery science theater 3000 "" wannabe that was taken for a film masterpiece in its time , actually winning one oscar ( for makeup , no less ) and being nominated for a couple others . 
it also spawned multiple sequels like beneath the planet of the apes , escape from the planet of the apes , return of the planet of the apes , beneath the escape from the return of the planet of the apes , planet of the apes : the next generation , police academy of the apes . . . 
the list goes on . 
heston is an american astronaut who spends a few thousand light years in space with his three companions and ends up on a planet not too dissimilar from earth . 
the thing is , on this planet humans can't talk or think and the guys in the gorilla masks are the dominant species . 
heston's companions are killed or turned into vegetables by the apon is imprisoned . 
he surprises them all with his gift of speech , making two primate scientists ( roddy mcdowall and kim hunter ) believe heston is the missing link between ape and man . 
believe me , we movie critics have been thinking the same thing for years . 
when the two apes present the idea before a judicial counsel ( the head ape being shakespearean actor maurice evans ) , it is received as heresy , for all good monkeys know god "" created ape in his image . "" 
but heston has already seen a cave that contains evidence that humans were originally the dominant species , before apes ever gained the ability to speak and run for president . 
and he takes them there , holding up a baby doll and yelling , "" if humans couldn't speak , then how do you account for this talking doll ? ! "" 
and how do you account for your acting ability , mr . heston ? 
the absolute most laughable scene comes with the movie's surprise conclusion . 
i won't reveal the details except to say it involves heston falling to his knees on a beach and yelling "" god damn you all to hell ! "" 
several times in succession . 
the movie is atrocious and should only be viewed by those members of society who like to watch bad movies and laugh at them . 
what makes planet of the apes even more amusing is that it was supposed to function as some sort of social irony , a condemnation of fundamentals who reject the theories of evolution . 
but let me tell you , if darwin could see the ape masks and hear the rotten dialogue exchanges ( heston [to female ape] : may i kiss you before i go ? 
ape : but . . . 
you're so . . . 
ugly . ) , he'd convert to creationism on the spot . 
luckily for us , science-fiction movies have evolved over time to the point at which some of them are actually good . 
"
"-1","new address . 
same old attitude . 
don't forget to recommend a film , read the journal , or send me some of that nasty hate mail . ) 
starring bruce willis , billy bob thornton , liv tyler , ben affleck written by jonathan hensleigh and j . j . 
abrams directed by michael bay 
it rocks-actually , lots of rocks fly at us or from us , in slow or fast motion , at several points in the film . 
they seem like dangerous rocks because they kind of twirl through the air instead of just propelling forward , and when they land-once in a while , when we need a break from the space sequences-they cause damage enough to destroy the chrysler building and the like . 
 ( nary a mention of these apocalyptic events is made after they occur . ) 
they also just might be the most interesting element of armageddon , a steroid user's answer to deep impact . 
bruce willis stars as harry stamper , a famed oil-driller commissioned by the white house and nasa to stop a giant asteroid before it travels beyond "" zero barrier "" and destroys our planet . 
why an oil driller ? 
they require someone experienced with deep-core mining to plant a nuclear missile into said asteroid . 
 ( in one unintentionally ( ? ) 
hilarious sequence , nasa asks harry to inspect a deep-core driller they built based on his own blueprints ; it is poorly constructed-harry criticizes almost every aspect of it . 
we trust nasa to build space shuttles that can land on twirling asteroids ? ) 
harry assembles the obligatory "" ragtag "" bunch of "" cowboys "" , including a blond guy , a fat guy , a black guy , a wiseass , and the man who is sleeping with his daughter ( affleck ) . 
once they reach space , we experience sequence after sequence of something going wrong-perhaps the fact that they sent a bunch of nincompoops into outer space has something to do with it ; i cannot count the number of times they almost fail the mission on all my fingers and toes . 
whether or not they save the day , i will not reveal . 
nor will you care . 
i will say this : you know you're in trouble when deep impact dwarfs your asteroid movie in terms of emotion and scope . 
willis has barely a chance to come alive ; ditto for affleck . 
their big scenes are mostly reserved for the third act , in a last minute-and futile-attempt to inject warmth into the material . 
steve buscemi's character-the wiseass-is exceptionally problematic . 
 "" rockhound "" , as he's called , is sarcastic and foolish , so they tape him to a chair , where he spends most of the film . 
so why did they bring him up there to begin with ? 
rather , why write him into the film ? -give 
his almost-witty one-liners to serious willis , who scowls and mopes and demonstrates psychotic tendencies : at one point he chases after affleck with his shotgun for screwing his daughter , firing often and causing significant damage to his oil rig . 
i'm guessing he qualifies under nasa guidelines as someone unfit for space travel , at least in my world where the sky is blue . 
liv tyler is pretty and humourless , as always ; suspiciously , four of her father's band's ( "" aerosmith "" ) songs grace the soundtrack . 
director michael bay lays the visual and sound effects on thick , like ketchup , eventually drowning the movie on-screen . 
 ( the middle hour is a non-sensical , pyrotechnic assault on the average primate's brain . ) 
whenever someone dies in this movie , a crew member inevitably yells out "" we lost ( insert dead person's last name here ) ! "" 
i must admit that not once could i distinguish a dead oil-guy-cum-astronaut from a live one , and close-ups of the corpses' faces beneath cracked helmets provided little assistance , as their skin was often covered in fake blood . 
armageddon is not as terrible movie as godzilla . 
it looks nicer , and has fewer plot-holes within its equally ludicrous framework . 
it has a vivid soundmix . 
but at almost two-and-a-half hours , i could not believe how little actually happened over the course of the story . 
the love story has been played up in the ads , perhaps hoping to catch people before they recover from titanic-fever . 
bollocks ! 
the lovers in the film are miles apart throughout-erase all thoughts of nude sketching or car-sex and replace them with obligatory shots of liv tyler tearing up while ben affleck dicks around in a moon-crawler . 
remember a little film called jaws ? 
in this film , three independent-minded men suddenly found themselves on a fishing boat in pursuit of a deadly shark . 
they didn't much like each other at first ; eventually , they started to respect one another . 
one of jaws' great scenes involved the would-be-ahabs drinking and singing songs and telling stories . 
this is the sort of male-bonding foreign to bay or his producer , jerry bruckheimer , who throw too many characters into the mix and expect we'll care about them on the grounds that the world is about to end . 
not once do we get the feeling that these characters are even acquaintances-i'd be surprised if these actors bothered to introduce themselves to one another before "" action "" was called . 
a male friend who loved the film suggested to me that perhaps i cannot relate to a bunch of men who don't bare their souls , who believe in dying macho concepts like heroism and a kind of chest-beating bravery . 
to this , i will respond that the boys in armageddon are neither heroic , nor brave , nor smart , even : this team couldn't build a birdhouse . 
and if i get no respect for disliking a movie with all the synthetic feeling of a trailer-a trailer for a movie written by a team of body-builders and greeting card authors-i've never been a prouder wimp my whole life . 
"
"-1","the one question that eats at me after seeing corky romano is why touchstone spent so much money marketing this throwaway film . 
since june , i haven't been able to turn on the tv or go to the movies without getting hit by some ad depicting chris kattan as the spastic corky , shrieking out a-ha's "" take on me "" in his yellow miata . 
why would disney sink so much cash into the corky hype machine ? 
honestly , i was hoping that all the goofball ads were actually a front for a decently funny movie . 
man , was i wrong . 
corky romano is one of those throwaway , clich ? -ridden tv-star-to-film vehicles built upon the most rickety of plots . 
fortunately for chris kattan's precariously positioned career , corky does have some good laughs , even if most of them are of the lowest-brow variety . 
kattan plays the title character , the unsinkable assistant veterinarian corky who has a penchant for sunshiny '80s tunes , bright ties , and banal coffee mug slogans ( "" you don't have to be crazy to work here , but it sure helps . "" ) . 
when his mob boss dad ( peter falk ) is about to be put away on murder charges , his bungling , lughead brothers ( peter berg and chris penn ) rope in innocent , black sheep corky to infiltrate the fbi as an agent and steal the evidence . 
predictably , hijinks ensue . 
if the basic plot sounds bad , wait until you get into the inner-workings of this clunker . 
the writers will amaze you with the depth of their inanity . 
corky's fbi agent identity is named corky pissant ( "" that's pronounced pees-ahn . 
it's french . "" ) . 
he becomes a first-rate agent by accidentally stumbling mr . magoo-style onto the proper clues and talking his way in and out of situations , which plays like something out of a sitcom . 
and not a good sitcom , i mean . 
the romano family brothers even insult each other by farting in each other's face . 
and in a scene taken straight from there's something about mary , corky gives a dachshund mouth-to-mouth resuscitation . 
but it's not a complete disaster . 
the manic kattan does occasionally rescue some comic moments , including a bit featuring a cat in a fat suit named jesus and another involving schoolchildren , a german shephard , and a kilo of cocaine . 
plus , berg -- whose career has obviously gone downhill since the last seduction and chicago hope -- gives a great turn as the illiterate brother paulie . 
and , it's nice to see that richard roundtree of shaft fame is getting work . 
unfortunately for those out there who can't truly appreciate animal or fart jokes , corky won't have much to offer you . 
so the next time one of those pesky ads appears on your tv , asking , "" who is corky ? "" 
you can simply reply , "" who cares ? "" 
"
"-1","kids today , they don't just want to see heartthrob and master thespian freddie prinze jr . loving on the ladies . 
no , they want to see him doing something that takes a little more in the acting department : namely , playing baseball . 
through a series of drippy voiceovers , we are informed that there's no better proving ground for major league baseball than the cape cod summer baseball leagues , where college also-rans and hopeful dropouts go to play in the hopes of attracting big league attention . 
our man freddie has landed a spot as a pitcher on the prestigious chatham a's , where he is hoping for his big break . 
it's only after he is given ample time to show off his abs and scamper about in a woman's thong ( don't ask ) that we learn what the real story of summer catch will be : that prinze is a poor townie named ryan dunne , struggling to make a name for himself ; that neither his father ( fred ward ) nor brother ( jason gedrick ) pulled themselves out of their blue collar jobs and resent anyone who tries ; and that the local beauty tenley -- tenley ! 
 ( jessica biel ) -- is so far out of his league that he probably shouldn't even bother . . . 
but of course he makes a play for her . 
summer catch also makes an abortive stab at another half a dozen subplots -- the jealousy of fellow townie and brazen slut dee dee ( brittany murphy ) , the alienation felt by ryan's non-baseball playing best friend ( gabriel mann ) , or the fat chick fetish of fellow player miles ( marc blucas ) . 
worst of these is a ludicrous bit involving that '70s show's wilmer valderrama and beverly d'angelo , both of whom appear in the film simply to provide a nutty mrs . robinson-like substory and to remind you of how much better done that was in bull durham . 
in fact , virtually all of summer catch feels like it's been done better somewhere else . 
for starters , the film has a major question of identity . 
it's definitely not a sports movie , and it fails pretty miserably at being a romance . 
the worst part is the amateurish script ( co-written by an arli$$ writing alumnus and a guy that starred in leprechaun 3 ) , chock-full of phony emotion . 
by the end , it all becomes a platform for each character to deliver a soliloquy to ryan that he must take to heart . 
dad is on hand to give fatherly yet drunken advice . 
coach ( brian dennehy , just loving the fact that he's got some work on the big screen ) is on hand to give the curmudgeonly counterpoint . 
ryan's catcher ( matthew lillard , playing himself again ) is on hand to tell ryan to "" play catch "" with him and make fun of the fat fetish guy . 
ryan's stoner best friend is on hand to give the go-get-'em-tiger-we're-behind-you talk . 
and the girlfriend is on hand to give heartwarming-nuzzly-follow-your-dreams counsel . 
before long , you start to wonder : is freddy prinze jr . is capable of having a thought of his own ? 
don't answer that . 
the only real joy in the film is found in biel's character , and not just because of the skimpy outfits , which are also usually wet . 
she's the only one in the movie that is able to do much with her role , taking the rebelling-against-daddy character to at least a passing grade . 
when she's on screen , the time flies by . 
when she's not , you realize that for some ungodly reason this movie is almost two hours long . 
for a pg-13 teen romance ( despite near-constant sexual innuendo ) , one has to ask warner brothers : what were you thinking ? ? ? 
for her part , biel has fallen so far from her 7th heaven roots that she has almost become denise richards . 
hollywood is either about to eat her alive . . . 
or vice versa . 
either way , good luck , jessica . 
as for freddie , if he keeps pumping teen romances out at the rate of two a year , prinze's next "" summer catch "" is liable to be a venereal disease . 
"
"-1","plot : two sister witches have to live with a curse placed upon their family , which prevents them from ever enjoying a full life with a lover . 
the hex invokes the eventual demise of their loved one . 
when one of their past loves comes back to haunt them , they have to figure a way out of their eternal dilemma . 
critique : i've been waiting for a good witch movie for a while now , but hold on to your brooms and incantations , cause this puppy is far from being it ! 
for a film that has the word "" magic "" in its title , this movie contains very few moments of magic . . . or 
humor for that matter , drama , suspense , or romance . 
well actually , there is some manufactured romance within a plot that is so muddled , it never lets you in on whether it's a comedy , a drama , a horror show , or a murder mystery . 
or maybe it's a romance , eh ? 
it doesn't really matter , cause the characters in the film are so boring and uninteresting , that you have absolutely no basis on which to care for them , or the film as a whole . 
if only the filmmakers had spent as much time on the plot as they did the sinfully obvious soundtrack , this film might've had a chance to be more than what it is now . 
which is an unentertaining , crappy film that uses the witch angle as a diversionary tactic to weave us away from its grab-bag of stupid voice-overs , overdone songs , melodramatic romance , undeveloped story and uneven acting . 
i only wish that i could make that one hour and forty-five minutes of my life re-appear , but alas , it is lost in the spiritual world of "" interesting ideas gone wildly awry "" . 
little known facts about this film and its stars : this film is based on the novel written by alice hoffman . 
co-screenwriter akiva goldsman also wrote the screenplay for 1997's batman & robin . 
director griffin dunne is known mainly as an actor in such films as an american werewolf in london and after hours . 
"
"-1","tri-star ; rated r ( language , sexual situations , violence ) ; 87 minutes 
director and writer : darren stein 
cast : rose mcgowan , rebecca gayheart , judy greer , julie benz , chad christ , ethan erickson , carol kane , pam grier , tatyana m . ali . 
review by : geoff berkshire 
jawbreaker is the very definition of a "" rip-off . "" 
this uninspired teen comedy takes equal parts carrie ( 1976 ) , heathers ( 1989 ) and clueless ( 1995 ) and mixes in all the necessary teen movie clich ? s . 
along the way writer/director darren stein forgets to give the film a life of its own . 
the film opens with a voice over from geeky fern mayo ( judy greer ) about the four most popular girls at reagan high : courtney shayne ( rose mcgowan ) who can basically be summed up as satan in heels , julie freeman ( rebecca gayheart ) a good girl with the face of a supermodel , marcie fox ( julie benz ) a dim-witted blonde who demands that people call her "" foxy "" , and liz purr ( charlotte roldan ) an angel in disguise . 
liz is everyone's favorite because she's both beautiful and kind . 
liz is about to turn 17 and , as a prank , courtney convinces the other girls to help her in kidnapping liz on her birthday morning . 
in order to keep liz from making any noise courtney stuffs a jawbreaker into her mouth before they gag her . 
they then stuff liz in the trunk of courtney's car but when they open it later , polaroid camera waiting to capture the moment , their lives will never be the same : poor liz has swallowed the jawbreaker and choked to death with it lodged in her throat ( the audience is treated to a few too many graphic looks at liz's dead body ) . 
courtney , thinking fast , decides to pass the death off as a rape/murder and marcie and a reluctant julie assist her . 
things get complicated when fern discovers what the three girls are up to . 
in order to keep her quiet courtney comes up with another plan and transforms geeky fern into "" vylette "" , hoping that she will also help to replace liz in the minds of the devastated students . 
up until about this point the film is effective enough . 
however , an investigation begins into liz's death and the film becomes excessively dull . 
the recently rediscovered talents of pam grier are thoroughly wasted in the role of detective vera cruz and the film is downright insipid in its treatment of both the characters and the audience during this long middle stretch . 
courtney's plan to frame a sleazy guy ( marilyn manson , in a brief cameo ) is never believable for a second . 
meanwhile , the audience is stuck watching a string of random events which fail to develop the characters or add anything of interest to the plot . 
julie leaves the group and begins a lame romance with aspiring actor zack ( chad christ ) . 
he apparently gives her the courage to turn on courtney but the way things develop only make julie look stupid . 
fern's rise to popularity is equally lame . 
we do get the best scene in the film ( the only one with a spark of originality ) during this section . 
it's a smart and subversive bit where courtney gets the high school's resident jock stud dane ( ethan erickson ) to demonstrate , using a popsicle , exactly what he would like for her to do to him . 
it at least provides us with a look at courtney's personality but the way the scene finishes doesn't make any sense . 
stein is very conscious of the teen movie tradition he is working in and not only freely borrows major plot elements but also includes direct acknowledgment of this with some stunt casting . 
william katt and p . j . soles ( students in carrie ) are liz's distraught parents , jeff conaway ( from grease ( 1978 ) ) is julie's creepy single dad and carol kane ( the frightened babysitter in when a stranger calls ( 1979 ) ) camps it up as principal miss sherman . 
at times jawbreaker feels simply like teen cinema's greatest hits but the audience is cheated with watered down interpretations of the best this genre has to offer . 
the only notable aspect of jawbreaker is the incredibly stylish look . 
the costume design by vickie brinkford and the production design by jerry fleming are both bright and vivid . 
they were apparently instructed to work from the color palette of a jawbreaker and the screen is always splashed with bits of vibrant color . 
director of photography amy vicent , who beautifully lensed eve's bayou ( 1997 ) , does a remarkable job here as well . 
shot composition and camera movement is consistently impressive . 
performances are mostly sub-par with mcgowan providing only a few good moments ( compared with her excellent work in the doom generation ( 1995 ) and scream ( 1996 ) ) and gayheart making the biggest impression due to the sweet nature of her character and her obvious beauty . 
none of the actors look as if they have set foot inside a high school within the last five years with the exception of actress/singer tatyana ali , who has a small role as a cheerleader . 
the male cast all resemble male models and are credited with names like "" auto stud , "" "" college stud , "" and "" high school stud #2 . "" 
the soundtrack is decent and imperial teen's catchy "" yoo hoo "" makes a bigger impression than any other aspect of the film . 
"
"-1"," "" with all that education , you should know what happiness is . "" 
starring sylvia chang , teresa hu , hsu ming , li lieh , mao hsueh-wei ; directed by edward yang ; written by yang and wu nien-chen ; cinematography by christopher doyle and chang hui-kung 
every country has , eventually , its new wave . 
france had its nouvelle vague , brazil its cinema novo , china its fifth generation , and on and on . 
some waves just take longer than others , before they wash over us , cleansing us with the balm of discovery . 
taiwan's new wave came in the 1980s , in the work of directors like hou hsiao-hsien , wan jen , and edward yang ; that day , on the beach--yang's first feature--is central . 
it created a new language for young taiwanese directors , even if the first attempts to speak that language were hesitant and faltering . 
later works refined the techniques that yang first explored here , giving taiwan a distinctive international presence . 
that day itself is long and frustrating , the document of a nation's attempt to find a voice . 
it does not lack ambition . 
it anatomizes urban life in modern taiwan , in the manner of antonioni , elaborating the alienation that the westernized white-collar middle-class feel as their lives are shaped by old-fashioned roles--dedicated career men , loyal housewives--that they find unfulfilling . 
jia-li ( sylvia chang ) is the focus , but the film brings others into its compass--her husband , her brother , friends from her college days--as it charts her discontents . 
no one is happy . 
jia-li married her husband , we-lei , at a young age . 
at the time , her brother had been urged into an arranged marriage , despite his affection for another woman , and so jia-li's marriage seemed , in comparison , a good one : she chose we-lei of her own free will , they loved each other . 
but it goes wrong . 
that day dutifully presents all the clich ? s : we-lei becomes absorbed in his career , indulges in an affair with a co-worker ; jia-li feels restless and trapped , bound by a choice she made while young , but which no longer seems wise . 
the film never redeems these clich ? s by conveying the feel of authentic experience , the intensity of lived pain , and much of it seems trite and belaboured . 
it unfolds , awkwardly , as a series of flashbacks , told during a luncheon in vienna , where jia-li meets her brother's old flame ( teresa hu ) , now a concert pianist , whom she has not seen since college . 
both women seem rather sad , and resigned to their sadness . 
their circumstances ( and those of jia-li's brother and a college friend ) suggest not so much that they have made the wrong choices--married the wrong man , chosen the wrong career path , etc . --but rather that the choices available to them were inadequate . 
it is not that jia-li married the wrong man ; she didn't . 
the problem is that she needed to marry at all--and that if she did not marry , she would still be just as unhappy . 
for a woman in modern taiwan , that day tells us , the cards are stacked , the dice are loaded : she can play the game , but the house always wins . 
the film's sympathetic feminist implications are presumably the reason it caused such controversy upon its release in taiwan . 
seen now , it does not seem provocative . 
indeed , it's hard to imagine anyone having felt passionate enough about the film to generate any controversy : it may be ambitious , it may be innovative , but it is also terribly , terribly dull . 
and what was new for taiwan was not necessarily new for the rest of us : yang adopts methods established years before by antonioni and others , and his use of those methods is fumbling , uncertain , undisciplined . 
nor does he bring anything new--other than the locale--to the material . 
there are moments when that day takes on some of the emotional richness it strives for--in a young couple's first kiss , in the awkward meeting of a woman and her husband's mistress--but they are brief . 
too often , yang devotes needless time to mundane scenes--grocery shopping , flower-arranging--in which nothing happens , little is said , no emotion imparted . 
perhaps , if the film were content to focus on such reflective , inward moments , leaving us to guess at thoughts and feelings , it might have been ambiguous , suggestive , insinuating . 
but jia-li and her disaffected companions do not only brood in silence : they talk about their problems , at length , in detail , redundantly , and eliminate all subtleties . 
at two hours and forty-five minutes , it all seems exorbitantly long , indulgently long-winded . 
consider the defining moment for jia-li , the titular day on the beach . 
the thrust of the whole film explains , easily enough , what we are to think of that moment , what it means when she walks away from a particular situation . 
even so , the film has not one but two characters explain it for us verbally , in case we may have missed the point . 
needless time is devoted to expressing what should have remained unexpressed , and that is the problem throughout . 
the look of the film is as tedious as the drawn-out narrative . 
it was the first feature shot by christopher doyle--at least , it's his name in the credits--who is now rightly regarded as one of the world's leading cinematographers . 
in the freewheeling expressionism of his work with directors like chen kaige and wong kar-wai , he seems incapable of fashioning a boring image . 
you would never know it from watching that day , which , due either to doyle's inexperience or yang's humdrum direction , is almost perverse in its insistence on making the physical environment seem as drab and banal as possible . 
in scrutinizing the long decay of a marriage , that day manages to capture the ennui of the experience , but none of the damage , none of the heartbreak . 
"
"-1","the first in a very long list of things wrong with "" i still know what you did last summer "" is the title . 
think about it for a second . 
if the last movie was called "" i know what you did last summer "" , wouldn't the next movie have to be "" i still know what you did two summers ago "" ? 
if anyone working on this movie had an i . q . 
greater than five would have thought about it logically and said , "" hey . . . 
wait a minute "" . 
but alas , the people behind this film are obviously idiots , so i won't hold them to that . 
what i will hold them to is the fact that they have a pretty bad movie on their hands , even for a teenage slasher flick . 
i guess i'm one of the few critics who actually kind of liked the original film ( emphasis on the "" kind of "" ) . 
it wasn't great or anything and maybe not even necessarily good , but at least it didn't have me glancing at my watch every minute or so like it's sequel did . 
there are just so many problems with this movie that it's hard trying to figure out where to start . 
first of all , i guess , is the setting . 
the movie offers no rational reason why the film had to take place in the bahamas , other than the fact that the producers wanted a seaside setting . 
exactly why does the fisherman want to go through all the trouble of faking a radio contest to get julie james ( jennifer love hewitt , one of the only survivors of the first film ) and her new college buddies out to the islands before he hacks them up ? 
the movie suffers from this kind of logic all the way through . 
in one scene , julie is in a tanning booth at a deserted gym when the hooked fisherman with the slicker comes in and seals up the booth so the damsel in distress can't get out , no matter how hard she tries . 
when julie discovers she's going to slowly fry to death , she screams for help and her friends come to her rescue . 
now , this is all fine and dandy except for one thing ; instead of spending five minutes trying to bust open the booth , why not just turn the freakin' thing off ? 
in another scene , one of the characters , after having their significant other all but decapitated by the man in the slicker , says to julie , "" just don't tell anybody it rained the whole time . "" 
oh yeah , i've just been terrorized by a hook wielding sociopath and had some of my best friends gruesomely slaughtered , but hey , i'll crack jokes anyway . 
after all , it is in the script . 
the film's only saving graces are a few well-executed suspense sequences and a really cool cameo by the "" re-animator himself , jeffrey combs . 
he brings some good comic relief and life to an otherwise limp movie . 
way to go , jeffrey . 
i have a hunch that the reason this film fizzles while the first one at least kept it's head above water is the recent absence of writer kevin williamson . 
with "" scream "" and even it's sequel , he displayed a real talent as a screenwriter . 
his ear for dialogue and the terrific endings he puts on all his films make him a standout from all the rest of the horror writers , and i think "" i still know "" has really suffered by not having him on board . 
the cool atmosphere is still there this time around , but i just didn't like the characters or the writing as much as i did in the first one . 
even though the movie doesn't have williamson , it still has a hacky ending , trying to do what kevin did with the first two "" scream "" s by ( some may consider this a spoiler , but if you have seen any horror movies whatsoever , then you should be able to guess the identity of the madman within twenty minutes ) having two killers and , this time , having one of them being a family member to the other . 
i think someone in the audience put it best when , after the movie had ended with another "" the killer is back ! "" 
cliffhanger , he said "" who is this time , the grandma ? "" 
all in all , "" i still know "" tries to be as successful as the first the film was , but really fails in the attempt . 
i mean , it's okay when slasher movies rip-off each other , but when they start copying themselves . . . 
"
"-1"," "" there's nothing new under the sun "" is a phrase often used when the speaker actually means "" let's find something to copy . "" 
of course there are very few completely original ideas . 
even earth-shattering concepts are built upon the vast body of human experience . 
there is , after all , no need to re-invent the wheel time after time . 
recently it seems that hollywood doesn't feel the need to even re-write the script . 
my understanding of the word "" sequel "" is a continuation of the story . 
the film industry has defined the word to mean reshooting the original with minor changes . 
have an overwhelming desire to see an inferior version of brian depalma's adaptation of the steven king novel ? 
this is your dream come true . 
rachel ( emily bergl ) , a high school outcast , is beginning to notice weird things happening around her . 
doors slam shut by themselves . 
glass globes blow up . 
her mother has severe mental problems and her father is absent . 
a popular boy unexpectedly asks her out . 
the in-crowd conspires to embarrass her at a public event . 
any of this sound familiar ? 
once the audience catches on that this is the same story as "" carrie "" , there's little to do but wait for the inevitable ending . 
the effects are a bit better this time around , but the film doesn't work nearly as well . 
there are a couple of minor plot differences . 
rachel lives with foster parents because her mother is institutionalized . 
the boys at her school are portrayed as even more evil than in the original . 
they keep score of their scoring with points given for each conquest . 
and , uh , there must be other story changes but none stand out . 
one nice touch is the casting of amy irving again as sue snell . 
over 20 years ago she was the one girl who tried to help carrie . 
now a high school counselor , she befriends rachel , but her character's potential is squandered . 
there's too much about sue that doesn't make sense . 
after the slaughter when carrie kills most of her classmates , sue is driven mad and spends time in the institution that rachel's mother is in . 
still living in the same small town , the woman with a well-known history of mental problems is hired as a high school counselor ? 
sue tells rachel that her telekinesis is a genetic disease . 
this may be the one original idea in the film , but the reasoning behind describing psychic powers as a "" disease "" is never explained . 
sue's eventual fate is an admission by director katt shea and writer rafael moreu that they had an interesting character but couldn't figure out what to do with her . 
blink and you'll miss it . 
some of the events are filmed in black and white , but the rationale for this is unknown . 
it doesn't add anything and the choice of scenes appears somewhat random . 
 "" the rage "" retains some of the trappings of "" carrie "" without the meaning . 
in the first film the color red was a motif connected to carrie's onset of powers at the same time she began menstruating . 
here there's an abundance of red , but for no apparent purpose . 
the casting of high school jocks and cheerleaders as villains is beginning to wear thin . 
one might be lead to suspect that most filmmakers were unpopular in school and the history of teenage films is an extended cinematic revenge of the nerds . 
the biggest mistake the film makes is including clips of the original . 
seeing sissy spacek on the screen only points to the quality of that film - and the flaws in this one . 
"
"-1","plot outline - wendy ( samantha press ) , a jazz singer , loves mack ( hugo race ) a criminal and wanna be rock singer who's planning a bank heist . 
mack is also being tailed by a couple of cops , one an inexperienced rookie ( dominic sweeney ) , the other ( john flaus ) a worn out veteran who frequents wendy's jazz club . 
they're tailing mack , because he has an audiotape that may show evidence of governmental corruption . 
meanwhile wendy's sexually awakener , fifteen year old sister ( rebecca elmaloglou ) has moved in with her , and is secretly watching mack and wendy's late night love trysts ? much zaniness ensues 
the review : main problem first - about 2% of rood rock star to actor conversions in filmdom ever really work . 
unfortunately , trying to cast hugo race as a violent , sexy criminal falls into the "" what the hell where they thinking "" category that takes up 98% of the rest . 
but , hell , it's not as if he's the only problem in this well-intentioned but ultimately below average aussie thriller . 
leads , race and samantha press are wooden and dull , hampered by some unfortunate attempts at sexy dialogue early on . 
though they do manage some heat later in their love scenes , helped , no doubt by them keeping their mouths shut . 
the film suffers every time the story shifts back to these two . 
which is unfortunately , the other main story isn't any great shakes either . 
the second part , concerning two cops , political corruption and that elusive tape is incredibly muddled . 
at many points during the movie i had no idea what was going on , a situation that didn't improve on repeated viewing . 
there is no doubt that this film's achilles heel is its script . 
as for the rest of the cast , it's a mixed bag . 
john flaus , one of australia's most criminally underused actors , is in top form as the withering , alcoholic jazz fan cop , who may or may not have sold out to the highest bidder . 
although he falters at one point , when the script calls for him to get up on stage and deliver a drunken beat sermon , but believe me , they way it was written , no one could have pulled it off . 
dominic sweeney is fine , though he seems to be uneasy in front of the lens but he really isn't given a whole lot to do . 
pre home and away elmaloglou is pretty good as the inquisitive jojo , but her character seems extraneous to the story , well , at least until the final scenes . 
i must admit , in too deep does have some impressive qualities , not the least of which is it visual element . 
cinematographers mark gilfedder & peter zakharov have achieved the almost impossible by making melbourne look like a sweat drenched tropic city , which is akin to turning london into san paolo . 
the bar is an oppressive red , like all of it's patrons are being baked while they drink , outside it hazy orange by day and cool blue by night . 
if only deborah parson's script could have supported this idea better . 
having two director's ( colin south & john tatoulis ) doesn't help either , the most glaring example of which is the final retribution/fight scene , where for some reason the camera pulls away from the onscreen action , and more importantly it doesn't pull away to anything else . 
it just stays static as the fight happens in the distance . 
it has no reason to it ; it's just bad direction . 
and , ultimately , that is what sums up in too deep , it's tries to be good , and you want it to work , but , it's just lacking the talent behind it , that it needs to succeed . 
"
"-1","the scene at the end of 1989's `dead poets society , ' when robin williams' english students stand up on their desk and say , `captain , my captain , ' gets me every time . 
unfortunately , the court room scene near the end of robin's newest film , `patch adams , ' doesn't have anywhere near the same impact . 
from the surface `patch adams' looks very promising . 
it's a story about a not so young man , patch adams ( robin williams ) , who finds meaning in his life through helping sick people . 
when the film opens , we find patch , depressed and suicidal , checking himself into a mental hospital . 
in a few scenes , strongly reminiscent of `one flew over the cuckoo's nest , ' he ends up helping the patients through their problems ; and it's here that he finds how much he loves working with people . 
so he checks himself out of the hospital , and heads straight to medical school . 
right from the start , patch uses comedy to help make the patient more comfortable . 
he continuously breaks medical tradition and makes the dean of the school angry . 
shortly after joining medical school , he meets and falls in love with carin ( monica potter ) . 
they , along with patch's dork friend , truman ( daniel london ) , start a medical clinic for uninsured people . 
once the dean catches wind of the clinic , he tells patch he can't graduate and kicks him out of school . 
patch , like what any true american would do , takes the school to court . 
it's here where the not so climatic court room battle takes place , over whether or not patch can become a real doctor . 
i have never seen a movie with some potential just completely blow it . 
it seems more like a series of short sketches , rather than a full-length movie . 
considering it runs almost two hours , much too long for such a light film , it could have flowed much smoother . 
not to mention the fact of how serious the film takes itself , and manages to cover all the cliches of bad melodrama . 
robin williams saves the film from being abysmal with several comic scenes that elevate the movie to entertaining and worthwhile levels . 
but those moments are rare and in the end `patch adams' is barely average . 
"
"-1","the real blonde ( r ) a woman's face , an arm , some pumped-up pectorals , blond hair , a man's sad face , slender legs , a random hand here and there . 
as the opening credits of tom dicillo's the real blonde unfold , these scattered , fractured glimpses eventually come together to form the image of a bikini brief-clad man on his knees clinging to a nurturing woman , his head concealing her unclothed breasts . 
if only the rest of this formless , aimless ensemble comedy assembled so coherently . 
joe ( matthew modine ) is a waiter/struggling actor too proud to take gigs in commercials or soap operas . 
he's feeling somewhat dissatisfied with his relationship with his live-in love , mary ( catherine keener ) , who holds some subconscious hostility toward the male gender . 
mary , a makeup artist , regularly works on model sahara ( bridgette wilson ) , who is obsessed with the underlying messages in disney's the little mermaid . 
the bottle blonde has a turbulent on-again , off-again relationship with bob ( maxwell caulfield ) , a soap actor who yearns for the taste of a real blonde , which he finds in co-star kelly ( daryl hannah ) . 
as the film unspools , a variety of other characters pass through : fashion photographer blair ( marlo thomas ) ; mary's shrink ( buck henry ) and self-defense instructor ( denis leary ) ; joe's casting agent ( kathleen turner ) and hardass boss ( christopher lloyd ) ; and a mystery woman ( elizabeth berkley ) who keeps on crossing joe's path . 
where exactly does all this go ? 
that's a question best posed to writer-director dicillo , who doesn't appear to have the slightest clue himself . 
his meandering , largely unfunny script and direction are like hopelessly lost drivers , turning into dead-end narrative streets only to reverse course and hit another creative cul-de-sac . 
and another . 
and another . 
at one point bob , frustrated with the soap scripts , complains to the head writer ( jim fyfe ) that his and kelly's characters keep on going in circles , with no hint of development or growth . 
that is most certainly the case here . 
joe gets a job and ultimately botches things ; he and mary bicker ; they make up , only to have the pattern repeat itself . 
unhappy with his bottle blonde , bob gets his real blonde but is unsatisfied ; he returns to the faux and is still unsatisfied . 
if there is a point to all of this , dicillo dances around it , spending his time on apparent digressions that , as it turns out , aren't digressions at all . 
the real blonde is not without some amusements . 
it does have the occasional funny line and situation ; leary , henry , lloyd , steve buscemi , and dave chappelle shine in their small roles ; keener is a likable , refreshingly earthy lead ; berkley's appearance is mercifully brief ( she receives outrageously prominent billing and ad placement for a ten-minute role ) ; and there is the irony of having caulfield play a wildly popular soap star who makes the ratings skyrocket ( last year , the actor was fired from the daytime drama all my children after a scant six months--due to lack of viewer interest ) . 
but on the whole , the real blonde is a frustrating sit that lives up to the stereotypes of its title--it may be glossy on the surface , but there's nothing going on inside . 
 ( opens february 27 ) 
"
"-1"," "" jack frost , "" is one of those dumb , corny concoctions that attempts to be a heartwarming family film , but is too muddled in its own cliches and predictability to be the least bit touching . 
this does not come as a surprise , since the studio that made it is warner brothers , who is on a current streak of one bad film after the other . 
jack frost ( michael keaton ) is a struggling middle-aged rock musician who loves his wife , gabby ( kelly preston ) , and 11-year-old son , charlie ( joseph cross ) , but doesn't spend nearly enough time with them . 
when he receives a call from a music label that wants to hear him play , he has to cancel his planned family outing up in the mountains for christmas . 
halfway there , jack has second thoughts , but on his way back home , is in a car accident and dies . 
switch forward a year , christmas is approaching once again , and charlie and gabby are still having a difficult time coming to terms with jack's death . 
when charlie begins to play the harmonica his father gave him the night before he died , the snowman outside the house is taken over by jack's spirit . 
jack wants to spend some time with his son before the upcoming warm front melts him , but charlie desperately tries to prevent his melting demise . 
 "" frosty the snowman , "" is a classic cartoon , and the idea of a snowman that is alive works splendidly when animated , but as a live-action film , it doesn't work at all . 
after a somewhat promising prologue in which the frost family is established , "" jack frost , "" quickly goes downhill , especially once the snowman comes into play . 
since jack has been deceased for a whole year , you would think there would be many questions to ask him , such as , "" what happens after you die ? "" 
or , "" how does it feel to be a snowman ? "" 
but instead , the film focuses on a snowball fight subplot and an inevitably oversentimental climax that could be telegraphed before i even sat down to watch the movie . 
the performances are respectable enough , but no one deserves to be punished by appearing in a silly film like this . 
michael keaton at least got off easy , since he disappears after the first twenty minutes , but what exactly does he think he is doing with his career here ? 
i have always liked kelly preston . 
she is clearly a talented , charismatic actress , but has never been given a good role in her life , usually having to settle for a one-dimensional supporting character , as in , 1997's , "" nothing to lose , "" and , "" addicted to love . "" 
joseph cross was probably the highlight in the cast , since he believably portrayed a boy suffering the loss of a parent . 
in one of the only subplots that actually works , due to its wittiness , henry rollins is highly amusing as a hockey coach who becomes terrified and paranoid after seeing the live snowman . 
this brief hint of cleverness is pushed to the side , however , by the tried-and-true main plot at hand , which is the sappy story of a father and son . 
since i knew what was going to happen by the time the conclusion came around , i had no choice but to sit there and listen to painfully insipid , cringe-inducing lines of dialogue . 
some of my favorites was an interaction between the son and father : "" you da man , "" says charlie . 
 "" no , i da snowman , "" replies jack . 
or how about this little zinger , coming from a school bully that miraculously becomes friendly towards charlie and tries to help him out : "" snowdad is better than no dad . "" 
do people really get paid in hollywood for writing pieces of trash like this ? 
the snowman , created by john henson's creature shop , is more believable than the snowman from last year's unintentionally hilarious direct-to-video horror flick , also called , "" jack frost , "" but it still was difficult to tell if it was a person in a suit or computer effects . 
either way , it was an awful lot of work to go through , just to come up with a final product as featherbrained as this project . 
as a seasonal holiday picture , "" jack frost , "" is pretty much a clunker . 
a better christmas film from this year is , "" i'll be home for christmas . "" 
better yet , my suggestion would be to stay home and watch a quality film , such as , "" it's a wonderful life , "" "" a christmas story , "" or , "" prancer . "" 
 "" jack frost , "" is an earnest , but severely misguided film , and children , as well as adults , deserve better . 
i doubt they would want to see a movie about the death of a parent , anyway . 
"
"-1","some movies require you to turn off your brain in order to watch . 
then there are movies that require you to accept that everyone * in * the movie has turned off * their * brains . 
the real mccoy is both . 
it's charmless , molasses-slow and so full of genuinely stupid people that the film commission of atlanta , where the real mccoy is set , might well consider some sort of ritual suicide for their complicity in this humiliation . 
the real mccoy opens with bank robber karen mccoy ( kim basinger ) being arrested in the middle of a job . 
six years later , karen is out on parole and looking to stay straight . 
she soon bumps into j . t . barker ( val kilmer ) , a hapless would-be thief who idolizes karen . 
j . t . also has ties to jack schmidt ( terence stamp ) , the man who blew the whistle on karen six years earlier for refusing to work with him . 
schmidt , who is in cahoots with karen's sleazy parole officer ( gailard sartain ) , again wants karen to help him stage a robbery . 
this time he has some leverage : karen's kidnapped son . 
just when she thought she was out , they keep pulling her back * in . * 
contrivances and sloppy plotting fly off the screen so fast and furiously you have to duck to avoid being hit by them . 
leading the list is the jack schmidt character , who through unexplained but presumably foul mains is already extremely wealthy when our story begins . 
there is no reason given why he should need or want to get involved in another crime , let alone why he would actually participate in the break-in . 
karen's initial encounter with j . t . during a botched convenience store hold-up also strains the limits of credibility . 
it would have been simple enough to have them somehow entangled at that point , but instead they run into each other the next day because they're leaving their parole officers at exactly the same moment . 
small world , eh ? 
then there's the convenient car trouble during an attempted escape , and pet tigers which , through the power of the laws of bad cinema , must inevitably confront someone who has blundered into their cage . 
however , the buffoon prize goes to the atlanta police , who come off like the keystone kops on a bad day . 
but the fun doesn't end there in the shambles of a script by william davies and william osborne . 
there is also the absence of a single , solitary interesting character . 
karen is earnest and single-minded in her motherly devotion , but lacking any kind of edge which would make her a convincing criminal , and basinger is not a thespian adept at fleshing out flimsy material . 
schmidt is a flaccid villain , the parole officer is a complete blank , and karen's son and ex-husband might as well be furniture . 
only kilmer's j . t . is remotely appealing , but his one potentially intriguing quality , his ineptitude , is never developed . 
in fact , kilmer disappears during the middle of the film , just when his admiration for karen could have made for an interesting sub-plot . 
i might have been more forgiving if the pacing had been more appropriate to a caper comedy , but the real mccoy goes nowhere fast . 
various scenes of sneaking and skulking seem to take forever , and some end with no reason evident why they didn't end up on the cutting room floor . 
even the reasonably clever climactic break-in falls victim to this syndrome , including a scene of one of the thieves drilling open a vault which lasts ( i kid you not ) four minutes . 
there is no tension in the scene , just tedium . 
russell mulcahy ( highlander ) is a director with some style , and indeed the real mccoy looks reasonably good , but he completely stumbles in the editing room . 
there are so many big problems with the real mccoy that i'm tempted to overlook the little ones . 
like karen disarming one of schmidt's henchmen and throwing his gun into the middle of a park where her son is playing . 
like a fountain crushed when a van runs into it reappearing in one piece a few moments later . 
tempted . but i'm pretty good at resisting temptation . 
"
"-1","you think that these people only exist in the movies , but trust me , they're as real as life . 
i once talked to a guy who thought the united states government was putting satellites into orbit which could fry an individual person's brain with microwaves . 
then i sat in a room full of people who believed that the government rigged state elections . 
i even listened to a man who swore that nicotine was an additive that cigarette companies put in their products for the specific goal of getting people addicted . 
these people had what are known as "" conspiracy theories "" - ideas about how unseen forces work to deceive and control the public . 
a little imagination goes a long way . 
in richard donner's conspiracy theory , jerry fletcher ( mel gibson ) is a new york city cab driver who seems to have a conspiracy theory about everything . 
his latest , that nasa is trying to kill the president by causing an earthquake from the space shuttle , might sound outrageous to us , but is all in a day's work for him . 
he combs the newspaper , looking for tidbits that leave telltale warnings about the goings-on behind the scenes , and from there jerry draws his conclusions . 
upstanding citizen that he is , he tries to convince alice sutton ( julia roberts ) of the justice department that the president must be warned . 
lucky gal , alice , who met jerry when he saved her from a couple of muggers and has had to listen to his theories during the six months since . 
what she doesn't know is that jerry's interest in her is far more than , well , professional . 
he goes to great lengths to follow her around and watch her in her own apartment . 
but when some secret government types seem to take an interest in jerry's ideas and his limited-circulation "" conspiracy theory "" newsletter , he finds himself in danger and in real need of alice's help . 
one of the problems with conspiracy theory is that it tries to pass itself off as an action-thriller when it seems to have neither a whole lot of action , nor a significant number of thrills . 
part of this is a result of the film's slow pace . 
it takes forever to set up the relationship between jerry and alice , and even once that is over with , the rest of the film seems to be a lot of boredom that every once in a while stops to take a break for excitement . 
at over two hours , this film could have been significantly condensed and had it's running time shortened by twenty minutes to half an hour , but even then , the action scenes would not be able to save the film . 
instead of truly exciting and engaging set pieces , we're treated to a few of the generic scenes with the requisite "" black elements "" : black helicopter , men in black action suits and body armor , black vehicles - you know the drill . 
they come on down with all kinds of neat gadgets and weapons , but for some reason a guy with just a bunch of theories and some chick with no training somehow manage to elude them every time . 
big deal , we've seen it all before . 
watching the film , i wished donner had at least tried to use a little imagination , but i was out of luck . 
now , when i say it took forever to set up the "" relationship "" between jerry and alice , i completely mean what one person is relative to the other , and not romantic involvement . 
oh , donner and screenwriter brian helgeland would like you to believe that by the end of the movie , the two main characters will end up falling hopelessly in love with each other , but there seems to be no evidence of that ever occurring . 
you see , there were more sparks between gibson and danny glover in the lethal weapon movies ( also directed by donner ) than between gibson and roberts in conspiracy theory . 
the two just don't click , and when you throw in a number of happenings that would cause alice to reject jerry altogether ( like finding out he's been stalking her ) , the subsequent attraction is absolutely forced . 
the script in general also seems forced , like someone sat helgeland down and forced him to write it , then took it and forced it upon us . 
dialog is undistinguished and rather unmemorable , to the point that i almost stopped listening . 
even gibson's usual gift for ad lib couldn't punch up the film sufficiently to raise my interest , although one of jerry's theories about oliver stone was mildly amusing . 
unfortunately , much of what's discussed in the film is not inherently important to what's going on , but instead filler that starts out with potential , but ends up just being extraneous because it's never followed through . 
for example , jerry professes that a man found drowned in his swimming pool was actually murdered by the government in a new york subway station . 
he even goes so far as to explain that the station was flooded at the time due to a water main break ( hence the water in a subway station ) , and that the coroner should check the man's lungs for chlorine . 
this is convincing enough to alice that she seems to believe him . 
you know what happens then ? 
nothing , zip , nada . 
no follow-up whatsoever , so what's the significance ? 
okay , here's another one . 
a couple of well known ( real life ) assassins were found to have possessed copies of the j . d . salinger novel "" the catcher in the rye "" . 
jerry also has a bunch of copies . 
whenever he goes into a bookstore , he has to buy one . 
leaving out the question of whether or not this makes jerry an assassin , we're never given a reason to believe why this would make him an assassin . 
not when we find out about his salinger collection , not when he goes to the bookstore , not later on when we get the answer to our first question . 
the point becomes totally extraneous . 
oh , did i mention that patrick stewart is in this film ? 
yeah , he plays this government psychiatrist named dr . jonas who may or may not be a bad guy . 
that's about it . 
for all the presence this usually marvelous actor has , he's nearly forgettable in conspiracy theory . 
you can just lump him in with the supporting players , with the exception of cylk cozart who plays agent lowry of the fbi . 
this guy was really likable , and i wish he and his character had gotten more screen time . 
okay , here's my theory . 
this really started out as a great film , but some of its jokes were actually true ! 
the government came in and forced donner to make edits for the sake of national security , and this was what was left over . 
"
"-1","my son and i share a perverse predilection for bad movies . 
we are amused and entertained by the cheap thrills , the corny dialog , the ludicrous premises and the bad acting . 
since other family members aspire to higher forms of entertainment , we usually wind up indulging our proclivity together . 
i can't remember when we disagreed on the relative merits of a clunker until species 2 came along . 
he was not amused . 
i on the other hand was able to easily suspend the applicable requirements in the usual manner and declare myself suitably entertained . 
perhaps the evident skills that were brought to the process of producing a bad product was what prevented him from extracting fun out of mediocrity . 
i on the other hand appreciated the fact that the producers and director knew exactly what they were doing : insulting my intelligence , and brought adequate movie-making skills to the project a movie does not have to be good to be well made , at least in terms of the craft . 
the movie could have been better if it were not so brusque . 
this movie slaps you with conception , pregnancy , delivery and young childhood in consecutive frames , without pausing for infancy . 
the producers of nescafe have nothing on this alien race in which a woman's womb balloons immediately after the male orgasm , and a few seconds later a young child tears its way out of her abdomen in a sloppy and gory version of an inside-out cesarean . 
an autopsy scene in which a buzz saw cuts through the cranium was not the kind of indulgence that i condone , to say nothing of the fact that it was scientifically incorrect . 
in a real autopsy the saw does not cut through the scalp ; it is used only after the skull has been exposed . 
the opening sequences of exploration of mars were very good . 
the writers showed excellent skills for ceremonial speech writing but the spontaneous dialogue would qualify for a subtitle : `as bad as it gets' . 
as the movie progressed i vowed to remember the lines that made me cringe but only one stuck . 
eve ( natasha henstridge ) was cloned from sil , the original alien sexual predator , but her mating instinct was artificially attenuated , which was all that was needed to turn her into a noble and cooperative prisoner . 
in a wistful display of resignation and understanding she tells her friend and jailer ( marg helgenberger ) : `i think of all the places that i will never see and all the people that i will never meet . ' 
it's enough to melt the most callous heart . 
at another point she protests : `i'm human too , you know . ' 
she is only half right . 
peter medak , the director , knows his business . 
justin lazard as the doomed astronaut does nothing to enhance his hollywood credentials . 
james cromwell , his father , is perfect in a short role . 
marg heldenberger , the dna scientist is pleasant and beautiful . 
natasha is an exquisite ornament . 
george dzunza knew and delivered what was expected of him as the dumb general that messes things up . 
michael madsen was there . 
black buddies do not usually survive in this type of movie but mykelti williamson manages to stay around for the final credits , which is more that we can say for lazard . . 
"
"-1","it seemed like the perfect concept . 
what better for the farrelly brothers , famous for writing and directing comedies with offensive subject matter , than to make a movie about a guy with a split personality ? 
it's exactly the sort of thing the brothers relish : poking fun at something serious ( in this case mental illness ) , throwing all care to the wind to get a laugh . 
jim carrey's signed on too ? 
even better . 
the national alliance for the mentally ill even helped out by levying complaints against the brothers' new film before its opening , claiming it was misrepresenting the condition of split personality , labeling it incorrectly as "" schizophrenia , "" and so forth . 
such a protest seemed like just the sort of thing that would , of course , only add more fuel to the farrelly brothers' fire , proving that some people just couldn't take a joke , and that the farrellys would be helping the more enlightened viewers to yet another dose of their brilliantly subversive comedy . 
yes , it all seemed perfect , but one thing went wrong : their movie isn't funny . 
it's not for lack of trying . 
the farrellys utilize in "" me , myself & irene "" their most high-concept premise ever : carrey plays charlie baileygaites , a man who after being dumped by his wife for a midget limo driver , decides to bury all his aggressive feelings deep down inside and never release them . 
this , of course , means all his neighbors exploit his entirely too-forgiving nature , making his job as a rhode island state trooper increasingly difficult . 
soon enough , charlie's repressed aggression manifests itself into a second , independent personality named hank , a deep-voiced , boorish ogre unafraid of taking the assertive actions his predecessor had been unable to muster . 
this guy isn't above crashing a car through the wall of the barber shop in which he's been insulted , or holding a little girl's head underwater because she refused to stop jump-roping in the street . 
then things start getting lost in the most complicated plot the farrellys have ever attempted , and the film runs off its tracks . 
some have suggested that this isn't a problem , because the farrelly brothers' brand of humor doesn't require plot to work . 
they're wrong , of course : plot was greatly instrumental in building up the kind of rollicking comic energy that infused the farrellys' last effort , 1996's "" there's something about mary . "" 
 ( 1999's "" outside providence "" was technically an earlier project . ) 
the brothers' earlier film wasn't funny merely because it contained outrageous gags ( despite what some newsmagazine articles would have you believe ) , but rather because its most outrageous gags were entirely unexpected . 
in "" mary , "" the farrellys managed several times to pull off a neat sleight-of-hand trick : they'd have you thinking the story was going one way , then reveal its real direction in delightfully surprising fashion . 
 "" me , myself & irene , "" by contrast , seems to have been made by folks who looked at "" mary "" and saw only the surface grossness , missing all of the subtle machinations that really made it work . 
having been produced by the same guys who made "" mary , "" "" irene "" seems like an even bigger disappointment . 
the brothers pile on the offensive humor , taking shots at race , midgets , albinos , mental illness , and all manner of bathroom jokes . 
but they haven't come up with a way to make any of it fresh most of "" me , myself & irene "" comes off as rote , by-the-numbers , adolescent comedy . 
the plot , with carrey forced to drive alleged fugitive irene p . waters ( renee zellweger ) , who's in more trouble than anyone knows , back to new york , has an ending that's entirely predictable from the get-go . 
 ( think charlie and irene will fall in love ? 
yeah , me too . ) 
the farrellys then introduce scores of different characters , and none of them ever manage to do anything you haven't already expected them to do , no matter how outrageous their actions might be . 
compared to the curveballs the farrellys are used to throwing , this stuff is almost entirely soft-tossed , presenting an obvious problem : when gross-out humor loses its shock value , it's no longer funny , merely gross . 
the jokes that do work are milked over and over until their effectiveness runs dry . 
take , for example , the subplot involving charlie's three black sons ( anthony anderson , mongo brownlee , jerod mixon ) . 
the incongruity of it all is funny for a while , with three burly black men discussing higher math in ghetto language and white-bread carrey mouthing said language with an entirely too-pleasant smile on his face . 
but by the end of the film , they're still doing the same schitck it hasn't been elevated to another , funnier level , and it hasn't been dropped either . 
that's too bad , because it ceases to be amusing about halfway through . 
 "" me , myself & irene "" reeks of wasted opportunities . 
there ought to be more focus on how other people react to charlie's new personality , and on how charlie deals with the consequences of hank's actions . 
this doesn't really happen nearly every supporting character learns about charlie's condition early on , so they don't have any opportunity to be surprised by it . 
the film throws what looks like a patented farrelly curve in a scene towards the midway point ( involving an albino companion charlie and irene pick up called , appropriately , "" whitey "" ) , but the script doesn't go anywhere with it , instead leaving the thread twisting in the wind before awkwardly tying it up during the climax . 
jim carrey is a gifted comedian , both physically and vocally , but he's left with nothing much to do here except contort himself in a manner similar to steve martin in "" all of me . "" 
it's a great showcase of flexibility and split-second role-shifting , but none of it is terribly funny . 
carrey doesn't pull any stunts we don't expect him to pull , and the farrellys' script doesn't give him anything else to pull : the situations in which he must perform the role-shifting aren't set up in any meaningful way . 
perhaps carrey can take solace in the fact that his supporting actors fare no better . 
zellweger's irene is not a strong female lead mary in "" mary "" may have been part adolescent fantasy , but she was also intelligent and strong-willed . 
irene is nothing in particular , as the film never makes clear whether she's ditzy , clever , or neither . 
as such , she gives us nothing to latch onto as the only "" sane "" person in the film . 
chris cooper is stuck playing exactly one note as a corrupt fbi agent , and his character is entirely too straight-laced for a movie like this . 
he , like the others , does absolutely nothing unexpected . 
after viewing the shapeless mess that "" me , myself & irene "" eventually dissolved into , i was stuck wondering whether or not the farrellys had outsmarted themselves . 
maybe their kind of comedy can only work for so long until audiences get wise to it and stop being shocked . 
but i don't believe it -- good filmmakers find ways of surprising their audiences even after people have grown attuned to their style . 
if the farrellys are indeed good , smart filmmakers ( and i still think they are ) , they'll rebound just fine . 
even after that happens , though , i'll still consider "" me , myself & irene "" to be a high-caliber misfire . 
"
"-1","wesley snipes is a master of selecting bad action roles . 
murder at 1600 , u . s . marshals , money train , drop zone , boiling point , and the ultimate camp film - passenger 57 . 
the art of war is another entry in this very ugly and unique category . 
ultimately , it is little more than a ridiculous action film with a plot as believable as the warren report , ugly violence that would have made peckinpah cringe , and terrible acting by b-list actors like michael biehn and anne archer . 
oddly , it feels like the undiscovered sequel to another snipes "" masterpiece , "" rising sun . 
the movie revolves around the convenient story of a special un operative caught up in a secret murder conspiracy involving a chinese ambassador , the chinese triad brotherhood , a rich chinese businessman ( played by ? that bad guy from rising sun , cary-hiroyuki tagawa ) a chinese un interpreter , and , inexplicably , donald sutherland . 
the film ends with more confusion than a boatload of chinese immigrants trying to register at ellis island . 
or should i say the film ends with the most blatant ripoff of both the matrix and all of john woo's hong kong films combined . 
i am really at a loss to figure out why wesley snipes had the gumption to not only star in this action dud but also act as one of the producers of the film . 
i usually enjoy snipes' movies - though his dramatic roles better show off his creativity as an actor than the flashiness of his action films . 
simply , i am amazed by the how inane the script was , filled with terrible cliches and extremely violent action sequences . 
director christian duguay ( screamers ) has a strange attraction to the viciousness of violent acts -- showing splattering brains , people impaled with broken shards of glass , and lots of gargling and gagging as blood sprays everywhere . 
it also sickens me to know that oliver stone , one of the greatest directors working today , had his hand in producing this monstrosity . 
i guess snipes sold stone on the conspiracy angle and stone chose not to read the script , watch the dailies , be involved in casting , or anything else -- or else he'd be filing a court order to remove his name from the credits . 
it's also seems evident that with the russkies as our new bosom buddies and the middle eastern terrorist angle being beaten to death in the last couple of years that the new international enemies in hollywood are the communist chinese . 
i'm sure over the next couple of months , even more "" chinese conspiracy/martial-arts action flicks "" are going to be popping up in your local multiplex . 
hopefully they won't include wesley snipes . 
"
"-1","senseless is a prime example of what can happen when you try to push a one-joke concept a bit too far . 
director penelope spheeris is no stranger to this , having subjected audiences before to such tortures as the beverly hillbillies . 
marlon wayans stars as darryl witherspoon , a college senior vying for a lucrative job at a prominent brokerage . 
however , he lacks the advantages of his chief opposition , scott thorpe ( david spade , in the smarmy sort of role he can deliver in his sleep ) : an athletic record , sponsorship by a fraternity , and , most of all , a wealthy family to back him up . 
in fact , darryl has to work at four jobs simply to make ends meet . 
but there may be a light at the end of that tunnel . 
he signs up as a human guinea pig in a neurological experiment run by the university's dr . wheedon ( brad dourif ) . 
as a result , his senses are magnified tenfold . 
using his newfound abilities , he sets himself in complete pursuit of the job ( unaware that there may be some disadvantageous side-effects to having super senses ) . 
naturally , marlon wayans plays this comedy at full throttle , giving jim carrey-ish amounts of physical humor . 
the problem is , aside from a few genuinely inspired bits , there's not much that's funny here . 
the film has it's one central gag , and pads out the rest of its length with rather obvious lowbrow humor . 
there obviously wasn't much thought put into the plot . 
the entire job selection process is completely ridiculous . 
i mean , why the emphasis on extra-curricular activities if the entire job is going to come down to a single-elimination quiz anyhow ? 
and is this the only job being offered to economics majors this semester ? 
to give it credit , senseless does try to create a secondary joke with darryl's roommate , tim laflour ( matthew lillard ) . 
apparently , he is supposed to be faddish , but the film never does anything with him , leaving him in a piercing phase throughout the movie . 
his "" intervention "" scenes with darryl , however , do provide a rare , and welcome , laugh . 
and then there's the love interest which is always pathetically tacked onto comedies like this one . 
in this case , the object of darryl's amor is janice ( tamara taylor ) , a fellow student who won't have anything to do with darryl until he gains his super-senses . 
needless to say , the romance is completely extraneous , and adds little to the film . 
this is a film that desperately needed something else . 
be that a good plot , more jokes ( or simply funnier ones ) , or a strong character or two , anything would have helped senseless get off the ground . 
as it is , all the manic exuberant mugging in the world can't help marlon wayans get this one off the ground . 
"
"-1","i came to an epiphany while watching the bachelor , an innocuous-enough-on-the-surface romantic comedy . 
it's not the sort of film in which one would expect to achieve any moment of clarity , but there it was nonetheless . 
i sat there watching this marshmallow of a movie unfold when suddenly i realized what is so ridiculously wrong with the entire romantic comedy genre circa 1999 . 
in a word , it's the same thing that's wrong with so many movies circa 1999 : writing . 
more to the point , it's the refusal to acknowledge that characterizations matter when you're telling a story about a relationship . 
the bachelor is merely the latest in a long line of films where we're expected to get dewy-eyed over any pairing of attractive , pleasant people just because they're attractive and pleasant . 
in this particular case , attractive and pleasant exhibit a is jimmy shannon ( chris o'donnell ) , a single guy who has been watching his friends slowly but surely sucked into marriage . 
it's a scary notion for jimmy , even though he dearly loves attractive and pleasant exhibit b anne ( renee zellweger ) , his girlfriend of three years . 
convinced despite his reservations that it's time to "" sh * t or get off the pot , "" jimmy proposes to anne -- very badly . 
anne refuses , which leaves jimmy in a very odd position when his eccentric grandfather ( peter ustinov ) dies and leaves a very specific video will . 
jimmy stands to inhereit $100 million if he is married by 6 : 05 p . m . on his 30th birthday , stays married for 10 years and produces a child . 
there are only a couple of minor problems : 1 ) jimmy's 30th birthday is the next day ; 2 ) anne is nowhere to be found , meaning jimmy has to find another willing bride from among his many ex-girlfriends . 
it's a wacky , brewster's millions-esque premise ( acknowledged as such in one of the film's better , more self-aware lines of dialogue ) , the kind where a shallow and materialistic guy learns what really matters . 
at least that would be the case if jimmy weren't already a world-class altruist . 
screenwriter steve cohen slides into the story an even more draconian condition in the will : if jimmy doesn't get married , not only will he lose all the money , but the family billiard table buisness will be sold out from under him , costing hudreds of jobs . 
from the outset , jimmy's motivation isn't cash ; it's the livelihoods of his devoted employees . 
it's almost embarrassing for his marital misgivings to play a role in the bachelor's plot development . 
by any human standard , the guy is impossibly selfless . 
and that's the essence of the gutlessness endemic to films like the bachelor -- the fear of giving the characters flaws to overcome on their way to happiness . 
there's never any tension between the two star-crossed lovers , because there's no sense that anything remotely significant is at stake . 
the blandly nice o'donnell couldn't pull off a randy cad if he tried , so the filmmakers don't even let him ; zellweger's anne may have issues with her sickeningly affectionate parents as an impossible standard to live up to , but no one dares make her anything but the woman ( lightly ) wronged . 
and forget about seeing enough of jimmy and anne together to feel invested in their potential reconciliation . 
the parade of sit-com set pieces had better be damned funny , since they're all that stands between us and a blissfully sweet foregone conclusion . 
i'll admit a couple of those set pieces are amusing , including ustinov's rantings about procreation and a restaurant full-to-bursting with men popping questions and champagne corks . 
far more of them are either tedious or downright ghastly , like the shudder-inducing sight of brooke shields as an icy fortune-hunter or the hideous collection of stereotypes when hundreds of potential brides gather in a church . 
you're never going to get too many raucous belly laughs from a film like the bachelor , but that's not the real problem . 
nor is it the real problem that you know exactly the kind of warm-n-fuzzy conclusion it's leading up to . 
the problem are a beginning and middle that are equally warm-n-fuzzy -- there's no spark , no energy , no humanity . 
it's an emotional pudding guaranteed not to offend any consumer's digestions . 
we've reached a point where our proxies for cinematic romantic wish fulfillment don't even have a pulse . 
the bachelor is love among the mannequins . 
"
"-1","are you like me ? 
do you get annoyed seeing people talk on their cellulars in public places , shouting out loud , not giving a ratt's ass about anyone around them , and basically just wallowing in their own self-importance ? 
well if you are , than you will most likely agree with my rating of this film since it basically features a trio of annoying ladies bickering away on the phone for an hour and a half . . . only to make up and hug in the end . 
aaaaaaaahhhh . . . 
plot : three grown-up sisters living their own separate lives , begin to re-establish their communication lines when their dear old dad falls ill . 
critique : this would be a good movie if it wasn't for the fact that it's got very little to say , features uncaring people sharing annoying phone conversations , is chockfull of bad acting moments and provides less emotional satisfaction than any third-rate after-school special . 
and i'm being nice ! 
how junk like this gets made is beyond me , but happy am i that the ephron sisters will finally be dealt a professional blow , considering the regurgitation level of their material had just about reached its limit . 
the only true emotional moment demonstrated between meg ryan's character and her dad in this film is when he hugs her and swings her around at a christmas tree lot . 
wow . . . how 
deep . 
of course , the same christmas tune that's played in every ephron flick chimes out in the background , while characters continue to build "" bonds "" among one another by making reference to old , quaint movies or movie stars . 
stop me . . . i'm 
gonna cry again ! 
this film is a mess . 
the characters are boring and irritating to watch , the plot has something to do with three selfish sisters talking on the phone a whole lot , kind of liking their father ( but not really ) and then finally realizing the error of their ways , while sharing an "" emotional "" moment about movie stars from the 50s . 
admittedly , i was not expecting much from a film whose television trailer features meg ryan screaming every two seconds and a big dog rolling its eyes , but even i was surprised at the level of ineptitude when it came to some of the acting efforts put forth in this film . 
meg did fine as the sister who cries a lot , looking as adorable as ever , but someone please put lisa kudrow inside a permanent home of limited range , cause this woman basically is that very same character that she plays in every single movie/tv show that she's in . 
enough already ! 
and diane keaton must've spent more time thinking about her role behind the camera in this one , cause her acting was amateurish at best . 
neither one convinced in "" emotional "" scenes . 
granted , they gave walter matthau the best lines in the film and that's probably where my rating of three points comes from . 
all in all , this movie is not funny ( unless you're one to chuckle at train wrecks ) , provides zero drama ( unless you consider loud phone conversations moving ) , generates absolutely no emotion ( although i did tear up when meg hugged a coffee machine ) and ends on a perfectly pretentious note ( "" oh no , please don't get any flour on my donna karan dress ! ) . 
ugh . 
i suggest that all ladies take their husbands/boyfriends to see this movie if they are pissed off at them about something ! 
that'll teach 'em to mess with you ! 
oh and incidentally , mrs . joblo also likened this movie to a piece of cow dung flailing in the wind , so there ! 
then again . . . maybe 
you'll like it . 
 : ) 
"
"-1","i have a confession . 
even though i am a movie junkie-i saw eye of the beholder and yet i still watch movies-i've never seen any of the original godzillas . 
 ( note that godzilla 2000 is not a sequel to the u . s . godzilla released in 1998 ; it's the american release of a 1999 godzilla flick called gojira ni-sen mireniamu . ) 
so , part of me was excited as i drove to the local multiplex to see godzilla 2000-the latest entry in an almost 50-year old franchise . 
this was a long-awaited treat . 
i was expecting a goofy good time , complete with bad dubbing , science fair level sets and a ludicrous plot line . 
the last thing i expected was for the movie to be so ? boring . 
i can only imagine what the theatre full of kids i saw this with felt . 
you do get all of the "" so bad they're good "" traits so normally associated with the franchise . 
but you have to sit through a snoozer plot that has the organization of a rorschach blot . 
it's a deal i wasn't willing to accept . 
hiroshi kashiwabara and waturu mimura's script crams in way too many details , and in many cases , fails to follow up on them . 
the maneuver is not only disconcerting , but gives the movie a permanent logy , weighty feel . 
godzilla starts off destroying power plants and then just stops . 
was it a whim ? 
a bold political statement ? 
i don't know . 
its foe , an ancient meteor that looks like prudential's logo , doesn't just fight the beast from the far east . 
no , it's got to have life-saving powers , a plot to erase "" the data "" from japan , a desire to clone and the ability to become a spaceship and then some kind of tentacled space creature . 
there's a battle between the head of the godzilla prediction unit ( takehiro murata ) and a slimy government official ( hiroshi abe ) over the handling of godzilla , and personal issues . 
and then there's the plucky news photographer and blah , blah , blah . 
it's like watching magnolia all over again-except without the good writing , keen sociological insight and aimee mann songs . 
what a waste . 
when the talking and the plot points stop hurtling at you , godzilla 2000 does the job-it's entertaining and goes down easy . 
the action scenes are cheesy in their grandeur though a little sluggish . 
the dubbing is nice and awful , with murata sounding like he's in constant need of a cough drop . 
as for the dialogue , one line summarizes the goofiness factor : "" did anyone see that flying rock go by ? "" 
this movie also marked the first time since the three stooges that i've heard the word "" imbecile "" used in casual conversation . 
though the summer movie season is drying up and godzilla 2000 has its moments , i wouldn't take kids to see it . 
they'll probably end up asking more questions than charlie rose . 
"
"-1","capsule : five friends at a stag party are involved in the accidental killing of a prostitute . 
the cover-up attempt becomes a monster that eats up the friends , two wives and several innocent bystanders . 
this was a real audience pleaser at toronto , but it did not do much for me . 
 , low 0 ( -4 to +4 ) 
- directed by peter berg who acted in the last seduction and copland . 
- five buddies go on a stag outing to las vegas while cameron diaz works through the logistics of her upcoming wedding to one of them . 
one of the buddies accidentally kills a prostitute . 
- several people with no moral compass . 
they started out with a simple , innocent little cocaine party ( ! ) and by accident look what happened . 
they have one moral person among them ( daniel stern ) , and one totally amoral person ( christian slater ) . 
it is more selfish to let the amoral lead , so they do . 
- this film is strange , but not really funny or biting . 
black comedy should actually be funny as well as strange . 
there should be some element of satire . 
the satire is missing here . 
i did not find myself laughing here either . 
what we have is a strange crime tale . 
- one just does not care what happens to these people . 
- the same idea of people just getting themselves in deeper and deeper has been done frequently . 
if this film is popular it is just bringing a familiar plot to a new generation . 
- it begins like diner ( particularly with daniel stern ) and ends up like an extended horror/crime comic book . 
- there are several logical holes in script . 
if a security man goes to investigate a complaint and disappears , wouldn't the guests he was investigating be the first suspects ? 
someone framed for a crime in the way shown would be judged innocent after minimal forensic detective work . 
 ( i am desperately trying to avoid making this a spoiler . ) 
- popular and situation ethics get a real slamming . 
- some acting of grief is hammy and overdone . 
more yelling than humor . 
"
"-1","what hath kevin williamson wrought ? 
while the horror movie revival spurred on by his _scream_ has yielded a few decent entries in the genre--_i_know_what_you_did_last_summer_ , _halloween : _h20_ , and _scream_2_ --it must be noted that williamson himself had a hand in the writing of those films . 
those williamson-less post-_scream_ efforts , among them _wishmaster_ and the recent _disturbing_behavior_ , have been frightening all right--frighteningly , insultingly _bad_ . 
add to that list _urban_legend_ , which takes a promising premise and runs it through a predictable meat grinder of idiocy . 
the influence of williamson on screenwriter silvio horta is clear in two key areas . 
first , the opening sequence , like that of _scream_ , is an extended set piece detailing the singular murder that gets the proverbial ball rolling . 
this sequence , in which pendleton college coed michelle mancini ( natasha gregson wagner ) is decapitated while driving , also reveals the other obviously williamson-esque touch : the killer's look . 
dressed in a large hooded parka , wielding an axe , the killer bears more than a passing resemblance to the _i_know . . . _fisherman , 
sans the hook . 
one thing horta does not borrow from williamson , however , is the intriguing premise . 
students at pendleton are being killed by way of urban legends--those contemporary bits of "" mythology "" passed from person to person , group to group , year to year that become so embedded in the social consciousness . 
it hardly matters if they are true or not , such as the tall tale that mikey from the life cereal commercials died from a fatal combination of pop rocks and pepsi ( he didn't ) . 
michelle , slain by the "" killer lurking in the backseat "" of lore , is but the first to fall prey to an urban legend come true ; as the body count rises , fellow pendleton student natalie ( alicia witt ) suspects not only a link between the murders , but a personal link to her past as well . 
the setup shows promise , but the story never takes off , due in large part to horta and the director , the aptly named jamie blanks , who fires round afer round of his namesake in terms of suspense and scares . 
too many of the would-be shocks are fakeouts reliant on bombastic music cues , and the film's chase scenes are riddled with the cliches that _scream_ tried to subvert , like screaming damsels knowingly running themselves into dead ends when they should--and could--run out the front door . 
but that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to cliches ; there's also the climactic villain confession , in which a contrived and way-too-convenient motive is revealed , not to mention the credit card opening up the locked door trick , which is a cliche in any film genre . 
banks and horta's ( intentional ) attempts at humor are also lame ; the fact that the best gags are lazy , in-jokey references to the other credits of co-stars joshua jackson and rebecca gayheart says a lot about the imagination of their humor . 
some laughs are also had when the rather predictable identity of the killer is revealed , but i'm not so sure if some of the more hilarious things about it were meant to be so . 
the filmmakers don't get much help from their onscreen talent . 
i was far from a fan of bland _i_know . . . _ 
starlet jennifer love hewitt , but i'd talke her any day ove the dreadfully stiff and uncharismatic witt , whose inept attempts at emoting were often met with laughter ; witt has a pefect foil in her equally pesence-challenged leading man , jared leto . 
_dawson's_creek_ star jackson mugs his way thorugh a glorified cameo ; gayheart displays all the depth and range of , well , a noxzema spokeswoman ; and robert englund lends the film little more than his freddy krueger pedigree as a folklore professor . 
granted , the cast is hampered by their material . 
loretta devine , who has done some fine work in films such as _waiting_to_exhale_ , is saddled with the ridiculous role of a pam grier-worshiping campus security guard . 
the recently resuscitated horror genre cannot rely on the efforts one man--namely , kevin williamson--to stay alive . 
if other filmmakers continue to make such shoddy product as _urban_legend_ , the genre looks to once again go the way of screen slashers' many victims . 
"
"-1","warner brothers has scored another marketing coup . 
the one-two punch was started in the summer , with the release of batman forever . 
trailers for ace ventura 2 were bundled with the bat , ensuring that every jim carrey fan in the free world would know about the impending sequel . 
carrey went on to win raves as the riddler and the ever-wise warner chose halloween as the release date for the video ( $11 . 99 at wal-mart ) ; a mere two weeks before carrey's return in this marketwise , but misfired comedy . 
ace ventura : when nature calls is a painful reminder of just how grating the rubber-faced comic can be when allowed to perform within an uncontrolled environment . 
he may have been brilliant under the direction of joel schumacher , in batman forever , but , here , left to his own devices , carrey quickly wears out his welcome . 
the opening sequence is by far the best--an amusing spoof of cliffhanger , with ace performing a mountain rescue of a stranded raccoon . 
 ( you can guess what happens to mr . paws . 
hint : it sounds like splat . ) 
the plot quickly shifts to a temple in the himalayas , and then to not-so-darkest africa , where ace is on the case of a missing white bat . 
with his hair and limbs both wildly askew , carrey flies through his routine in about thirty minutes . 
the rest of the film is just more of the same . 
sure , the plot's linear , and the production values solid , but where is the scripted humor to support carrey's sloppy slathering ? 
writer and director steve oderkerk provides precious few set-ups . 
instead , carrey just mugs away , playing for the camera even when most of it isn't funny . 
the better gags have been shown in the ads , though a bit with ace emerging buck-naked from the backside of a mechanical rhino is something to see . 
though an arguable improvement over the original , ace ventura : when nature calls is still a snooze for anyone over the age of ten . 
the script is virtually devoid of wit . 
tribal mask jokes ? 
jerry lewis cameos ? 
forget it . 
if anything , the inexplicable presence of simon callow ( four weddings and a funeral ) and bob gunton ( the shawshank redemption ) suggests that working with carrey is the classical actor's ultimate challenge . 
just how long * can * they keep a straight face ? 
"
"-1","synopsis : wealthy cuban landowner luis ( banderas ) gets more than he bargained for when he sends away for an american bride . 
not only does his new wife turn out to be the beautiful julia ( jolie ) , she also harbours a secret past of dubious merit . 
soon , julia has absconded with both luis' fortune and his heart , and as he pursues his wife through the cuban underworld , luis begins to realise that , for him , there is no turning back . 
review : given the absurdism of its would-be plot , it's unlikely that "" original sin "" could have been turned into a reputable piece of filmmaking , regardless of writer , director or stars . 
this is , at its heart , b-movie junk : a lurid melodrama which appeals to neither the brain nor the heart but to the nether regions . 
that said , "" original sin "" could at least have become enjoyable junk had the filmmakers embraced its trashiness and indulged in it . 
instead , cristofer seems to have mistaken this for a serious production , and directs it as such . 
the result is a vapid , uninteresting morass of obvious crosses and double crosses , as likely to incite a yawn as a thrill . 
consider the initial sex scene between banderas and jolie : brightly-lit and mostly filmed from above , it looks like an excerpt from an amateur soft porn show . 
cristofer doesn't even manage to capture the allure of cuba ; instead of portraying his setting as a steamy , sensuous island paradise , it appears bland and lifeless . 
at least banderas and jolie manage to inspire some interest ; there are hints at times that they want to have more fun with the script , but aren't being given the chance . 
the same cannot be said of jane , whose billy is nebbish and transparent . 
also unwise is the jolie framing sequence , which practically gives away the film's denouement . 
"
"-1","when a pair of films from the same director gets released just three weeks apart , it could mean one of two things : that the recently overworked individual is due for a well-deserved rest , or that either of these movies has been sitting in a studio safe for a while and the timing is merely a coincidence . 
the latter's the case with john mctiernan and "" the thirteenth warrior , "" which finally hits theatres a year and counting after its original spring '98 opening - and fast on the heels of mctiernan's "" the thomas crown affair "" remake , a flick that got good reviews . 
you don't have to believe superstitions to wager a guess that "" thirteenth "" won't be so lucky . 
reportedly shelved following skirmishes between mctiernan and producer michael crichton , whose "" eaters of the dead "" novel provides "" warrior "" 's source ( and its initial title ) , this messy melange of culture-clash drama and brutal warfare feels empty and sluggish - sorta like "" braveheart "" without any of the passion . 
but the bloodshed certainly remains : there's enough carnage on display here to satisfy those in search of purely visceral thrills , though please note that the admittedly pungent battle sequences containing all this death and dismemberment alternate with talky passages interminable in their dullness . 
these circa-10th century clashes involve a roving band of cannibalistic creatures capable of decapitating opponents with their bare hands and a dozen norse soldiers out to stop them from terrorizing the viking countryside . 
the good guys are loud , crude , often unintelligible and - judging from their highly icky hygiene habits -- pretty smelly to boot , which makes them perfect foils for the dignified arab ambassador ( antonio banderas ) who tags along quite reluctantly . 
they're also so hard to tell apart that it hardly matters when a few of them meet violent demises . 
you'll wince , you'll groan , you'll grouse , "" haven't we seen this guy killed twice before ? "" 
banderas stands confused amidst the chaos , partaking mostly from a distance as savages in darth maul facepaint and draped in the latest animal-skin fashion run amok . 
he's not the hero - his soulful eyes and lean build don't exactly herald a champion of shwarzenegger proportions - and "" the thirteenth warrior "" wisely doesn't pretend he is , allowing his foreign and physically imposing co-stars to step into the spotlight when the going gets rough . 
let the characters interaction sans swords and shields , however , and there's still a struggle - for the audience to follow or even care about the story . 
it isn't the end until audiences have witnessed a half-baked romance , murky political intrigue , veteran actor omar sharif ( "" funny girl "" ) dropping by in a cameo role and a climactic "" indiana jones and the temple of doom "" -esque chase through the villains' underground lair . 
all this clutter receives stunning visual treatment courtesy of cinematographer peter menzies jr . , but the collaboration between "" die hard "" -helmer mctiernan and "" jurrasic park "" -creator crichton should have yielded more than sumptuous sights , graphic action and unintentionally telling moments . 
heard during "" the thirteenth warrior "" 's final scene : a dog whimpering . 
how appropriate . 
"
"-1"," "" the red violin "" is a cold , sterile feature that leaves you uninvolved and detached . 
it's a movie that seems almost clinical , as it traces the 300-plus-years history of the legendary musical instrument of the title . 
opening in the 17th century , the story shows how violin-maker nicolo bussotti created the instrument as a gift for his unborn son . 
but when tragedy strikes , the violin becomes the personification of its maker's grief . 
from there the violin comes into the hands of an orphaned child prodigy at an austrian monastery . 
again , tragedy strikes as the child is struck down at the moment of his triumph . 
we follow the violin through the centuries as it finds a home in england and in mao's communist china before being discovered by expert charles morritz ( samuel l . jackson ) , who mounts a painstaking investigation to prove its authenticity . 
the violin becomes morritz's obsession , just as it is for all those who converge on a montreal auction house to bid on it . 
morritz , however , is the only one who knows the secret of the instrument and can understand and appreciate its creator's intention . 
 "" the red violin "" could have been a touching , inspirational story , as soaring as a beethoven symphony . 
however director francois girard fails to make any emotional connection with the viewer . 
here is a story that could have made use of various camera angles and lighting to heighten its impact . 
girard , for some unknown reason , uses mostly master shots , keeping his camera - and thus us - at a distance . 
we get no feel for the miracle that is the violin . 
it's resonance , its purity of sound are not emphasized enough to make an impression . 
nor are any of the performances memorable . 
it's as if girard wanted all his actors to play second fiddle to his violin . 
 "" the red violin "" promises much , but delivers little . 
it is dull at times , a bit pretentious and a might murky . 
the movie's music soars over its story and performers . 
and that is its only saving grace . 
"
"-1","there have been merchant-ivory costume dramas with more of a pulse than "" the mod squad , "" a self-consciously "" hip "" cinematic rendering of the old tv series still looked upon fondly by so many baby-boomers . 
well , said "" squad "" certainly won't be a pleasant viewing experience for them or anybody else , maybe even the teen target audience the movie has been geared towards . 
a contemporary take on this decidedly '70s show doesn't exactly seem unwarranted , but one wonders if the mold it accumulated while waiting on the shelf didn't transform into a full-blown case of botulism . 
how curious that the film begins by defining both mod and squad , insisting that the latter is a group of people working together and then contradicting this definition by keeping its titular trio apart for a sizeable chunk of the running time . 
they are julie , pete and linc , reformed delinquents working undercover for the lapd ( exposition put out of the way so fast that you're likely to be lost from the opening moments on ) , and they are respectively played by claire danes , giovanni ribisi and omar epps , talented actors each deserving of better than this . 
their plight involves standard cop-corruption stuff , as our would-be protagonists catch wind of an internal cover-up after their superior ( reliable dennis farina , one of the best things here and gone so quickly ) gets killed and framed for drug trafficking . 
they pout a lot and eventually get cracking to expose this convoluted conspiracy using surveillance tactics that would impress the hardy boys and linda tripp but few others . 
when you're supposed to be asking , "" what's going to happen next ? "" , 
you'll instead entertain thoughts like "" who are these people and why should i care ? "" 
or "" aren't thrillers supposed to contain thrills ? "" 
not that danes , epps and ribisi don't give it a shot . 
danes can do the troubled teen thing in her sleep , as evidenced by "" my so-called life , "" but she's saddled with a mysterious-boyfriend ( josh brolin ) subplot so see-through you begin to seriously question her so-called intelligence . 
ditto for ribisi's ( "" saving private ryan "" ) looney loose cannon , though at least he performs with a wild-and-crazy vigor that occasionally demands attention . 
but epps - poor epps . 
epps ( "" higher learning "" ) is so short-changed he's reduced to literally waiting around for a bad guy to chase him . 
all this sloppiness can be attributed to the screenwriters , one of whom , scott silver , is also the director . 
they must think that if they dress up their stupid story in such spiffy trappings ( the look of the film is really quite impressive ) , it'll somehow pay off , but this "" mod squad "" plods anyway . 
characters are non-existent ; present are just some good-looking young things modeling cool levis and cooler attitudes . 
plot hardly escapes confusing convention . 
and the one genre element you'd think would be show up in generous portions - a few nifty explosions , some fights , any kind of action whatsoever - only rarely makes it to this dull gabfest . 
all those quick to put down last month's inept but serviceable "" my favorite martian "" update need to take a step back . 
here's a small-to-big-screen translation that really should've stayed in its former incarnation , "" mod "" or not . 
"
"-1","ready to rumble is not a masterpiece in film ; i have a problem even regarding it as a film . 
it's more of a show , a big commercial for ted turner's world championship wrestling ( wcw ) . 
the movie is almost entirely about and fully showcases the wrestlers of the wcw like diamond dallas page , goldberg , and sting . 
the story is very minimal and basic . 
there are these two guys , gordy ( david arquette ) and sean ( scott caan ) . 
they are two twenty-something wrestling fans from wyoming . 
when they go to a live event for the big match up , there favorite wrestler jimmy king ( oliver platt ) is defeated and his career is announced to be over by the mean commissioner titus ( joe pantoliano ) . 
gordy and sean decide to go on a quest to find jimmy and bring him back to the top and defeat the evil titus' plans . 
on the way , they meet some people , have some fun , and clean up some port-o-potties . 
sounds great huh , well it's not . 
the movie makes many attempts at humor , only a few of them work . 
the jokes that make you laugh , however , do not outnumber the film's many duds . 
there is a funny repertoire between arquette and a convenience store cashier played by ahmet zappa . 
the cashier is very mean to arquette so arquette dreams of ways to get him back . 
i especially enjoyed one version in which they have a wrestling match and arquette's tag team partner is 'macho man' randy savage . 
they wrestle between the aisles knocking over cans and getting body slammed on the floor . 
the other good part of the film is the sexual confrontation between arquette and rose mcgowan . 
mcgowan plays sasha the head nitro girl , the cheerleaders of the wcw . 
she becomes attracted to gordy and they have some nice , funny scenes together especially one scene in which arquette calls mcgowan's breasts foreign objects than punches her directly into the face . 
now what didn't work in this movie ? 
that would be the rest of it . 
the flick was filled with stupid potty humor about farts and toilets . 
the two lead characters work for a port-o-potty cleaning company and when they crash the truck , the excrements spill all over the road . 
it's not funny ; it's pathetic and brainless . 
the film is giving homage to how blindly faithful of their wrestlers but not all wrestling fans are that way . 
i watch it for entertainment and i would think some people would take offense to what is said throughout the movie . 
the main characters in the film actually get to wrestle , like that would happen to any fan , especially to 2 that stalk a wrestler and sneak him back onto set . 
also , i wondered how they got into the backstage so easily ; they just walked right in . 
i like wrestling . 
i watch it at home and laugh . 
it's continuously funny and has great characters otherwise i wouldn't watch it . 
this movie wasn't even funny or fun to watch like the wrestling on tv . 
the only fun i had in the movie was pointing out the wrestlers i knew . 
the funny thing was that many of the wcw featured wrestlers like saturn and chris benoit have left wcw for more money but are still featured in the film prominently . 
the movie was too dim-witted to be funny . 
it is possibly the most useless and under-developed film ever . 
a recent film in this genre of fans would be the kiss fan film , detroit rock city . 
that movie was interesting , well done and continuously funny unlike this film . 
the acting was good plus the jokes had humor and made you laugh . 
now that the scream trilogy is over , arquette has nothing else to do so he has to do crap like this and be a spokesman in those dumb 1-800-call-att ads . 
at least he has a hot wife in courtney cox . 
he's in the funny parts of the film but there aren't enough to make him look good . 
the music was bad also feature such overplayed tunes as kid rock's "" bawitdaba "" and "" cowboy "" . 
martin landau has a great cameo as a classic , hard-nosed wrestling trainer named sal that whips the king back into shape to regain his throne . 
script is important to a film but this piece of crap could have been made with a couple of scribblings on a napkin . 
a fan of the wrestlers who are featured in the film probably wrote it . 
at times the movie even tries to show wrestling as real . 
the wrestlers form alliances , go to people's houses and beat them up . 
it's utterly ridiculous . 
the whole film was a wasteful , dumfounding experience . 
the movie was made to pay homage to the fans , telling them things that made wrestling , not the wrestlers . 
the wrestlers are making more money to make a movie to thank the fans for begin fans by paying 5 dollars to see a potty-humor movie . 
the wcw sucks and this movie is just a pathetic two-hour commercial to watch it . 
if you're going to watch wrestling watch wwf , it's actually entertaining . 
the wrestling is betters , they're funnier , more diverse , and have better entrance themes . 
oh and the girls are hotter . 
is this what movies have become , 2 hour-long commercials that you have to pay to see ? 
don't waste your money . 
"
"-1","wyatt earp details thirty-five years in the life of same from around 1865 to 1900 . 
after seeing the movie speed twice recently , i kept thinking that i was seeing wyatt's life pass before my eyes in real time . 
this movie was boring , slow , boring , and slow . 
there were a few scenes that tried to be great scenes that tried too hard and just fell flat . 
the script happily woman-bashes but also tries to sound like an 80s movie . 
they cannot have it both ways . 
 "" i now pronounce you husband and wife . "" 
sure , they said that in the 1800s . 
 "" entrepreneur . "" 
sure . 
every bit of male-ego-stroking dialogue that wyatt's third wife speaks to him made me sick to listen to it . 
 "" oh , the script was written by two men ? "" 
 "" no kidding ! "" 
the movie is torture to sit through . 
the scenery is boring . 
the fades were either awkward or cliche or to self important . 
can you say poor editing ? 
everyone looks ugly in this movie . 
when you shoot people from under their chins , they look like they have double chins . 
kevin costner has never looked worse . 
he should sue . 
he looks like he gained the 43 pounds that dennis quaid lost . 
dennis quaid is marvelous . 
if you have to see this movie just for his performance , go into the theatre at the movie's halfway mark . 
doc holliday ( quaid's character ) shows up at about the 90-minute mark . 
gene hackman is very good . 
is he in the credits ? 
i don't remember seeing his name . 
mare winningham makes the best of a small role as wyatt's second wife . 
annabeth gish is good as wyatt's first wife . 
i though that jamie gertz played wyatt's third wife , but i later heard that her name is joanna going . 
she looks great but her dialogue sucks . 
she also seems way to young for costner . 
costner seems way to old for 90% of this movie . 
in his first scene he is supposed to be about 19 years old . 
yeah , right . 
catherine o'hara and jobeth williams are always good and totally wasted here . 
this is the worst movie that i have seen in years . 
the last action hero was better that this . 
go see maverick if you want to see a western . 
bullets for dennis quaid's performance only . 
"
"-1","david schwimmer ( from the television series "" friends "" ) stars as a sensitive ( and slightly neurotic ) single guy who gets more than he expected from the grieving mother ( barbara hershey ) of a classmate he can't remember . 
hello mrs . robinson ! 
though quite cute as a romantic comedy , the pallbearer is paced like a funeral march . 
the characters act , react , and interact at half-speed , making for one * excruciatingly * long sit . 
 ( and what's with the dreary lighting ? ) 
co-writer/director matt reeves brings some snap to the story's midsection ; the film briefly comes to life when our hero attempts to resolve his feelings for * another * classmate ( a very appealing gwyneth paltrow ) . 
by this time , though , most viewers will have either fled or fallen asleep . 
those tough souls who stay with it can marvel at the sleepy-eyed schwimmer , a hound dog with a head cold , who can go for over an hour without ever changing his expression . 
"
"-1"," "" saving silverman "" is a good example of a good comedy gone bad . 
as a love story it is good , however as a comedy it falls flat on it's face . 
i think throughout the short 90 minutes i laughed a total of seven times . . . and 
those were just chuckles at the most ! 
the movie doesn't have the oomph to make it a great movie , and doesn't have the script to make it a funny movie . 
wayne lefessier ( steven zahn ) , j . d . mcnugent ( jack black ) , and darren silverman ( jason biggs ) have grown up all their lives together , they have been best friends forever and vow to stay close till the end . 
while in a bar after doing a show with their band , based on their love of neil diamond , darren meets a young woman named judith ( amanda peet ) whom he instantly falls for . 
wayne and j . d . however think differently and when judith tells darren that he can never see his friends again , it's up to wayne and j . d . to try and begin saving silverman . 
the performances are topnotch and surprisingly , they are what keep the movie afloat . 
jason biggs right off the flop "" loser "" does an ok job playing silverman , but he is stale and flat at times . 
steve zahn is perfect in the role of wayne lefessier , and even though the movie is about silverman , lefessier is really the main character and the narrator of the movie itself . 
jack black is well jack black , and he does an all right job as j . d . but he isn't as funny as he has been in the past . 
amanda peet plays the ultimate bitch as judith , and neil diamond plays neil diamond ( he's better at singing than acting ) . 
anyway the performances in the film are good , but it's too bad the script isn't . 
speaking of script , hank nelkan's choppy script is not only badly written , but not funny enough even for an episode of sesame street . 
the trailer for the movie , as with most movies gives away everything that happens in the movie , especially the funniest parts . 
somewhere "" saving silverman "" was meant to be a good movie , and it could have been , but alas in the end it wasn't . 
dennis dugan's direction is all right , he adds a few directorial touches here and there , nothing special being a simple comedy . 
 "" saving silverman "" is a perfectly bad movie in more ways than one . 
it has a great cast , a good director and a sweet story . . . it's 
just too bad it has a bad script and is all together a bad movie . 
"
"-1","one of my brother's favorite movies is h . b . halicki's 1974 cult flick "" gone is sixty seconds , "" one of the best products of the car-chase genre that provided drive-in fare during the 1970's . 
chase pics had more tire squeals than dialogue , but they had a strong visceral appeal . 
although it boasts a bigger budget and familiar stars , the remake of "" gone in sixty seconds "" is relatively weak and dull . 
randall "" memphis "" raines ( nicolas cage ) is a retired car thief who runs a go-cart track . 
he got out of crime so that his younger brother kip ( giovanni ribisi ) would not take up boosting cars . 
however , kip became a thief anyway , and now he's in big trouble . 
kip promised to deliver fifty luxury and sports cars to gangster raymond calitri ( christopher eccleston ) by the end of the week . 
calitri expects memphis to fulfill kip's bargain ; if he doesn't come through , kip dies . 
memphis gathers his old crew ( angelina jolie , robert duvall , will patton , chi mcbride , and vinnie jones ) , and kip brings his boys ( t . j . 
cross , william lee scott , scott caan , and james duval ) . 
as if calitri breathing down their necks wasn't bad enough , the team is pursued by a cop ( delroy lindo ) who's still ticked off that he never busted memphis and by a rival gangster ( rap star master p ) who wants to take over calitri's clients . 
watching "" gone , "" i discovered that stealing fifty cars is not any more interesting than stealing one . 
maybe that's why the first forty-nine are fairly easy , and the thrills are saved for "" eleanor , "" a 1967 shelby gto , a model that has always eluded memphis . 
but the big chase doesn't live up to the long wait . 
i had high hopes for "" gone "" because it is director dominic sena's second film . 
 "" kalifornia , "" his 1993 debut , was a brilliant study in the relationship between violence and its audience . 
in that movie sena took a simple thriller plot ( a couple gives a serial killer a ride ) and successfully endowed it with deeper significance . 
in "" gone "" he seems to be aiming for a drama about two brothers who can't communicate with each other , but that goal just doesn't mesh with this plot . 
 "" gone "" either takes itself too seriously or not seriously enough . 
it's not light enough to be fun , or mean enough to be intense . 
this chaser has more dialogue than tire squeals but is none the better for it . 
the lack of action is a waste of the premise , which should have challenged the filmmakers to create the most spectacular car chases ever . 
the weak script is a waste of a talented cast . 
in a "" newsweek "" interview last year , sean penn blasted his old pal nic cage for making bad movies . 
much as i like cage , for every good picture he does ( "" leaving las vegas , "" "" bringing out the dead "" ) , there are two major stinkers ( "" snake eyes , "" "" con air , "" "" 8mm , "" "" city of angels "" ) . 
that ratio is probably better than what a lot of his peers can boast , but cage has real talent . 
it's a shame to waste it in glitzy , superficial tripe like "" gone in 60 seconds . "" 
"
"-1","steve martin is one of the funniest men alive . 
if you can take that as a true statement , then your disappointment at this film will equal mine . 
martin can be hilarious , creating some of the best laugh-out-loud experiences that have ever taken place in movie theaters . 
you won't find any of them here . 
the old television series that this is based on has its moments of humor and wit . 
bilko ( and the name isn't an accident ) is the head of an army motor pool group , but his passion is his schemes . 
every episode involves the sergeant and his men in one or another hair-brained plan to get rich quick while outwitting the officers of the base . 
 "" mchale's navy "" 's granddaddy . 
that's the idea behind this movie too , but the difference is that , as far-fetched and usually goofy as the television series was , it was funny . 
there is not one laugh in the film . 
the re-make retains the goofiness , but not the entertainment . 
everything is just too clean . 
it was obviously made on a hollywood back lot and looks every bit like it . 
it all looks brand new , even the old beat-up stuff . 
martin is remarkably small in what should have been a bigger than life role . 
in the original , phil silvers played the huckster with a heart of gold and more than a touch of sleaziness . 
martin's bilko is a pale imitation . 
the only semi-bright spot is phil hartman as bilko's arch-enemy . 
it's not saying much , considering martin's lackluster character , but hartman leaves him in the dust . 
"
"-1","have you ever been in an automobile accident where you've miraculously walked away with only a few scratches , yet the car has been obliterated into an unrecognizable , mangled wreck ? 
well , that has never actually happened to me and i hope that none of us will ever experience this situation . 
but after watching this inane exercise of a movie , i certainly feel that i've miraculously walked away unscathed after a two-hour ride that mercilessly careens back and forth before finally plummeting into an icy pond . 
oddly , `eye of the beholder , ' which is a psychological-romance-thriller , starts off promisingly enough when the opening sequence introduces us to a british intelligence agent , called the eye ( ewan mcgregor ) , working in washington dc . 
in the humorous opening scene , he eyes a top lawyer across the street in his office with his pants down . 
using an array of high-tech surveillance and communications equipment , he proceeds to transmit pictures of the bared lawyer to pc screens and fax machines in his office . 
the law firm's employees get a good chuckle . 
the audience gets a good chuckle . 
the eye is later given an assignment where he encounters a beautiful woman ( ashley judd ) . 
there is something compelling about this mysterious woman . 
despite her glamorous looks , however , we learn that she is a psychopath with a propensity to kill men that get too close to her . 
after the murders , she sobs while singing the christmas tune `little bluebirds' and laments about being abandoned by her father long ago . 
after each killing , she puts on a different wig , assumes a new name , and then makes her way to another state . 
the eye has witnessed all her murderous transgressions . 
but he does not alert the authorities . 
he somehow empathizes with her sense of loss . 
the eye , it turns out , also is haunted by his past . 
his daughter was taken away from him and he anguishes this loss every day of his life . 
his tormented psyche creates a ghost-like image of his daughter with which he engages in conversation . 
she becomes a sort of spectral adviser , and one thing that the ghostly daughter says is that he must help the woman . 
he now diverts his energies into trying to help her find some kind of salvation . 
it doesn't matter that he has witnessed all of her murders . 
and it doesn't matter that the eye is abnormally reticent , hiding his entire life behind computer screens . 
he follows her to a dozen different locales and shadows her every move to keep her out of trouble . 
when a crazed druggie ( jason priestley ) attacks her , he shows up for some quick butt kicking . 
when the police are closing in to arrest her , he provides a distraction so that she can escape . 
all the while , the woman has no idea who her guardian angel is and the eye stays just out of sight . 
peculiar . 
how bad is this movie ? 
i refer you to my `review quote source' litmus test . 
just take a look at the full-page ad in the newspaper and see where they are pulling quotes . 
for this movie , they are from magazines called `flaunt' and `mirabella . ' 
no doubt , they were impressed with judd's series of catwalks and disguise changes . 
the major problem with `eye of the beholder' is that the film jerks forward , always unsure of its ultimate destination . 
if it was a thriller , there was little to keep us entranced . 
if it was a love story , there was absolutely no emotional pull . 
completely disjointed in structure , it's only saving grace was its stylish look which reminded me of my favorite car commercial ( the one where the `6' on the tachometer dissolves into a winding road and a passenger rail car dissolves into a small miniature on a child's train set ) . 
i am also still hopeful that ashley judd will find a serious role to showcase her potential talents . 
beyond that , the film is hopelessly out-of-control and is in need of seriously better traction and handling . 
"
"-1","bad . bad . 
bad . 
that one word seems to pretty much sums up beyond the valley of the dolls . 
if that summary isn't enough for you , how about t&a , t&a , t&a ? 
still haven't got the point ? 
other than director russ meyer's predilection for casting attractive large breasted women who ultimately expose the afore-mentioned anatomical areas , there is really only one other reason to recommend even taking a look at this movie . 
that is the fact that it was co-written by famed film critic roger ebert , who also was responsible for the screenplay . 
after watching this movie you will never be able to sit through another one of his reviews where he gives a movie a thumbs down for bad writing with a straight face . 
this movie stinks out loud . 
quite frankly , this movie deserves a . 
but there are parts of it that are so bad they are almost funny . 
so i'm giving it a . 
and maybe that is too generous . 
right from the opening credits , i knew that i had a class-a bomb on my hands . 
not only are the way the credits actually shot distracting , but the first scene you see includes a big breasted young woman being chased by a guy in a nazi uniform . 
i had absolutely no idea why the hell that was happening ( it does get explained later ) and as soon as the first scene is over , we cut to a completely unrelated scene . 
to be honest , as i sat through this movie mesmerized by just how incredibly awful it was , i actually forgot about the seemingly out of place opening until it popped up again later in the film . 
with the quality of the writing during the rest of the film , it wouldn't have surprised me if the opening had never been explained . 
so what is this movie about ? 
you ask . 
like it really matters . 
ok , here goes . 
this all-girl band headed by kelly macnamara ( dolly reed ) and her friends go to hollywood to try to gain a foothold in the music industry . 
once there , they do manage to find success ( due as much to their hooters as anything else ? it sure wasn't for their brutally bad singing voices ) , and the movie chronicles how their lives change for the worse as the pressures of fame get to them . 
everything from big egos , to booze and drugs to free flowing sex sends them on a downward spiral . 
there are a couple of other idiotic subplots thrown in for good measure , but the fame is the one that pretty much sums up this thing . 
>from a creative standpoint there is nothing redeeming here . 
other than the above-mentioned obsession with big knockers that russ meyer seemed to have . 
the dialogue is so incredibly bad that it literally is funny in parts . 
mr . ebert has generously thrown in helpings of "" hey man "" , "" dig "" and my all time favorite -- "" this is my happening , and it freaks me out "" . 
now i ask you , with lines like that how can you go wrong ? 
ebert had tried to inject as many big words as possible into the dialogue . 
maybe he thought it would make the movie seem smarter . 
i don't know , but all the big words in the world wouldn't be able to disguise the bad writing and even worse acting . 
but the wretched dialogue goes along well with the wretched quality of everything else in this movie . 
i've seen home movies directed better than meyer managed with this turkey . 
in fact , there is one scene -- the one in which they are in a van driving to hollywood to make their fortunes -- during which i really had to question if meyer or his editors had just suffered serious head injuries . 
add to the directing and writing the music in this movie . 
i almost got up to check my sound system to see if it was broken , there was such a pile of crap emanating from the speakers . 
then we have the cast . 
first lets start david gurian who played harris , the manager of the band . 
this has got to be the goofiest looking guy that has ever set foot in front of a motion picture camera . 
sadly , his acting doesn't come close to making up for his looks . 
if you have been following along up to this point , this shouldn't surprise you . 
meyer's stable of well endowed girls also have the benefit of being fairly attractive to go along with their other assets . 
dolly reed plays kelly , the leader of the band . 
and no surprise here , she was cast for her cup size , not her talents . 
and yes , she does loose the shirt a few times and display her impressive talents . 
sadly , her ass is almost as large as her chest . 
hey , it a sexist movie , so i'm writing a sexist review . 
then we have former playboy playmate cynthia myers in a fairly small role as casey , one of the other band members . 
this goes along with the rest of the idiotic thinking in the movie . 
meyer casts a gorgeous playmate with a rack to kill for and who obviously has no acting talent at all , but her nude scenes are the biggest disappointment of all . 
sure russ , now is the time to get artsy and throw in some well placed shadows . 
on the up side , she does have a fun lesbo scene . 
i sound like i'm writing a review in a porn magazine . 
but hey , i'll admit it ; the only reason that i actually managed to sit through this damn movie was to catch a look at cynthia myers naked . 
and since that was a huge disappointment , i pretty much wasted two hours of my life on this turkey . 
the only thing that i can say about this movie is that you should stay away from it . 
unless of course you want to feel good about yourself by knowing that even a pulitzer prize winning film critic like roger ebert has screwed up at least once in his life too . 
and if you are thinking of checking it out for the double d's -- you are better off just downloading nude cynthia myers pictures off the internet . 
this is a movie that should be avoided at all costs . 
an even better idea might be to require video stores to place a warning on the box of beyond the valley of the dolls -- beware : this movie is extremely hazardous to your common sense . 
proceed with extreme caution . 
"
"-1","by-the-numbers : a film which introduces characters , situations , dilemmas and developments that we've seen before in a parade of other films . 
a film which can easily be guessed out by the end of frame number one . 
a film which is packed to the cap with predictability , leading to very little tension , excitement , suspense or interest on the part of its paying audience . 
in short , a clich ? -ridden formula film . 
welcome to my review of the general's daughter . 
plot : an undercover army detective and a rape counselor find themselves locked inside an investigation into some bigwig general daughter's rape , torture and murder . 
they must delve through all of the unspoken army rules and the hush-hushes , to figure out the conspiracy behind the shocking murder . 
critique : by the numbers ( see above ) . 
this film is just there . 
it sits there on the big screen for a couple of hours , floats around , goes away , hopefully never to be heard from again . 
it is so predictable that even a blind man could see its plot points coming a mile away . 
it's as suspenseful as a leaf dropping from a tree . 
it's as action-packed as a canadian curling tournament . 
get the picture ? 
i sure did . . . it's 
too bad that it took my friend and i less than two minutes to figure out the entire plot , and to break down each scene before it was even completed . 
easy as pie . 
it's unfortunate because james woods and john travolta actually have one extremely enjoyable scene together near the beginning of the film , but alas , t'was not to be ( that scene alone scored two of my four points allotted . ) 
woods chews it up in the few scenes that he's in , travolta passes the test , cromwell plays , well , cromwell , and stowe is window dressing with a smile ( mia since 12 monkeys ( 8/10 ) it seems ) . 
and this predictability isn't reserved only to those who have seen films like courage under fire or a few good men , it runs deep inside every one of us who knows to suspect someone as soon as they see their obvious guilty mug on the big screen . 
it's like riding a bike . 
other scenarios which sponge out any tension , suspense or interest from this film include every single character eventually "" breaking down "" to the investigators without much reason given , a ridiculously placed background relationship between two of the lead characters , as much action as my grandparents bedroom nightly , and a directorial style that can only reward director simon west with a solid nomination for the "" best poor man's michael bay doing his best poor man's impression of tony scott "" ( add two scenes with sunlight shining through some half-open shades for grit and integrity , and an all-out rainfall for the finale for further chaos , and you're a great director . 
yawn . 
yeah , whatever tony . . . i 
mean , simon . ) 
and aren't we all sick of hearing about these army "" bad boys "" and their overdone "" code of silence "" ? ! 
enough already ! 
next subject , please . 
see it on video if you wanna fall asleep after seeing a much better movie like an officer and a gentleman ( 8 . 5/10 ) . 
otherwise , save yourself the trouble and go take a crap instead . 
you'll feel much better afterwards . 
trust me . 
little known facts about this film and its stars : ironically , john travolta turned down the lead role in an officer and a gentleman , which eventually went to little dickie gere . 
ironically on james woods' part , he completed one of his earliest acting roles on tv's "" welcome back , kotter "" , starring none other than john travolta . 
actor james woods recently confirmed reports of his "" big dick "" on howard stern's radio program . 
unlike rocker tommy lee , woods is also alleged to have an iq of 180 . 
he apparently scored a perfect 800 on his verbal sats and a 779 on the math section . 
what a man ! 
john travolta is married to actress kelly preston , and they have a son named jett ( travolta loves them planes ! ) . 
word on the street is that the kid was apparently conceived during a weekend at demi moore and bruce willis' home . 
director simon west's first film was the jerry bruckheimer produced con air ( 6 . 5/10 ) . 
before that , he directed tv commercials including the budweiser ad with the dancing ants . 
yippee ! 
veteran director john frankenheimer ( ronin ( 7 . 5/10 ) , 
the manchurian candidate ) portrays the character of general sonnenberg in this film . 
the imdb reports that when senator robert kennedy was shot at the ambassador hotel in los angeles on june 5 , 1968 , it was his good friend john frankenheimer who had personally driven him there that day . 
clarence williams iii , who plays colonel fowler in this film , is known to some from his role as "" linc "" in the original "" mod squad "" tv series . 
younger folk may remember him as prince's father in purple rain . 
"
"-1","who knew that in 16 years eddie murphy , who made such a brash , raucous big-screen splash in _48_hrs . _ , 
would become . . . 
cuddly . 
the disconcerting trend begun in this summer's cutesy , largely laugh-free _doctor_dolittle_ continues with this earnest-to-a-fault dramedy . 
although he is top-billed , here murphy is merely support for jeff goldblum , who plays ricky hayman , the programming director at a home shopping network . 
sales are way down , and ricky's job hangs by a thread until he meets g ( murphy ) , a mysterious spiritual guru whom a desperate ricky puts on the air . 
while sales skyrocket and g becomes an overnight sensation , the reinvigorated ricky's greed grows , endangering his budding romance with a goodhearted media research consultant ( kelly preston ) . 
writer tom schulman has some promising ideas , satirizing home shopping and infomercials and the nature of instant celebrity . 
but these ideas would have more bite if stephen herek had invested any energy into the direction of the film . 
the sluggishly paced _holy_man_ is not only slow and overlong ( 113 minutes ) , but an unfunny bore , and murphy can do little to juice up the proceedings ; cleansed of both the attitude _and_ comic sensibility that made him a star ( g is , for the most part , a straight man ) , he is a curiously lifeless presence . 
goldblum is actually quite good , but it's hard for the audience to sustain much interest in his character and spiritual journey when the director doesn't seem to be much interested , either . 
"
"-1"," "" pokemon 3 : the movie "" has a lot of bad things in it . 
first of all it's a plot heavy mess that has bad voice talents , badly written script and fantastic animation . 
the first film came out the end of 1999 and was a huge hit grossing almost $90 million domestically . 
a sequel soon followed and even made $45 million . 
warner has released their third movie based on the immensely popular video game and tv series and its a waste of time and celluloid . 
this time ash ketchum and his friends are on their way to the johto battles ( which my little brother told me the new spinoff is "" pokemon : the johto journeys "" so go figure ) anyway he comes in contact with a young girl who's father has disappeared after trying to discover the unown . 
they are small pokemon with a powerful punch and have great psychic abilities . 
the unown bring together their psychic abilities and create entei a powerful legendary pokemon who barriers young molly's house and creates every wish she wants . 
now it's up to ash and his friends to stop this pokemon entei and show him to be a good pokemon rather than a bad one . 
too bad really that this is a bad movie , surprisingly the first movie was entertaining and somewhat absorbing , the second was a piece of trash and this one is almost in between . 
it has some good qualities ( animation , message in the end ) but the flaws seem to overpower the goods . 
i'm still not sure what the big thing is about pokemon , they are ugly little animals who speak their own name for their language ( besides meowth , my personal favorite ) and you don't understand what they are saying . 
my little brother just thought the movie was amazing , and i kept leaning over and asking him happened , or what pokemon that was . 
his response was a big lecture of how this is that , and that is this . . . he 
sure did put me in my place . 
with the second and third movie being bad , i have a feeling pokemon 4 : the movie might be a total bust as well . 
 "" pokemon 3 : the movie "" has some redeeming qualities for the kids , and the pokemon fans will dig every minute of this film . 
for those parents and/or brothers and sisters who have to sit through this . . . bring a pillow . 
"
"-1","1 . he doesn't have a hard-to-decipher accent , 2 . he doesn't always speak in a monotone , and 3 . 
his face doesn't always wear the same impassive expression . 
in short , the former nfl player turned fox sportscaster turned actor is too good to be bad , but too bad to be good . 
unfortunately , the same cannot be said of his first star vehicle , firestorm , which is just plain awful . 
one of the most glaring problems with long ( who made his acting debut in john woo's broken arrow ) is that he's so mediocre that he often blends in with the scenery . 
as ace firefighter jesse graves , long is supposed to be playing a bigger-than-life action hero -- the kind of he- man who will crash through a flaming door to save a child or parachute into a burning clearing to rescue some stupid campers . 
unfortunately , despite the best efforts of first-time director dean semler to photograph long using heroic shots that make kevin costner's work in the postman look stark , jesse turns out to be a pretty boring good guy . 
to put it kindly , this is not a well-written motion picture . 
firestorm is a collection of howlingly bad lines set against a backdrop of disaster movie clich ? s which , taken together , form something that requires a level of viewer inebriation to be recognized as a plot . 
the only reason this film is getting one star ( instead of something lower ) is that most of the fire sequences are realistic , and i was fascinated by the meticulous planning that must have been necessary to stage them effectively . 
we're introduced to our big burly hero one afternoon when he and some colleagues jump into the midst of a forest fire to save a group of people . 
during this sequence , our big burly hero proves that he's also a sensitive guy by risking his life to save a little girl and her dog ( yes , the dog lives ) from being broiled alive . 
flash-forward a year . 
now , our big burly hero is taking over as chief of his smokejumpers association , replacing outgoing honcho wynt perkins ( real actor scott glenn ) . 
but this day , our big burly hero's first in charge , isn't going to be business-as-usual . 
a group of nasty escaped criminals have set a wyoming forest alight to aid their flight to freedom . 
led by randy earl shaye ( william forsythe ) , the sadistic creep who must be killed twice to really die , they pose as canadian firefighters who somehow got lost across the border . 
along the way , they meet and take hostage the damsel in distress ( suzy amis ) . 
eventually , our big burly hero is placed in a position where he has to fight the fire , rescue the damsel in distress , defeat the sadistic creep who must be killed twice to really die , and restore order to the galaxy . 
firestorm's director , dean semler , is a former cinematographer ( he won an academy award for his work on dances with wolves ) , so it's no surprise that the film looks good . 
unfortunately , that's firestorm's lone asset , and it falters near the end , when computer-generated special effects fill up the screen . 
these are of about equal quality to what you might observe on a nintendo 64 video game . 
the action sequences , which include a variety of chases , are occasionally interesting , but never invigorating . 
everyone , including long , appears to be going through the motions . 
there isn't a memorable performance to be found from beginning to end , unless you count the forest fire , which generates some heat . 
as the sadistic creep who must be killed twice to really die , william forsythe lacks panache . 
he's worse than a generic bad guy ; he's a boring generic bad guy who doesn't have any snappy one-liners to hurl at our big burly hero . 
my advice to scott glenn ( absolute power ) and suzy amis ( titanic ) is to accidentally forget this film the next time they're making out a resume . 
there's some small comfort in knowing this early in the year that i already have one entry for my bottom 10 list . 
 ( at least i hope there aren't 10 worse films than this . ) 
and i know i wasn't the only one who really disliked this movie . 
as the audience was filing out of the screening , i loitered in the theater lobby to catch a few comments . 
the general consensus seemed to be that , although the movie sucked , the promotional key ring was cool . 
the problem is that fox won't be giving out key rings to regular movie-goers , so that nixes any reason to see firestorm . 
"
"-1","seen at : amc old pasadena 8 , pasadena , ca ( in sdds ) 
paul verhoeven's last movie , showgirls , had a bad script , bad acting , and a "" plot "" ( i use the word in its loosest possible sense ) that served only to allow lots of sex and nudity . 
it stank . 
starship troopers has a bad script , bad acting , and a "" plot "" that serves only to allow lots of violence and gore . 
it stinks . 
nobody will watch this movie for the plot , but here's a brief synopsis anyway . 
some friends straight out of high school sign up for the federal reserve ( armed forces ) at a time when evil bugs from the planet klendathu are sending meteors towards earth from the other side of the galaxy . 
after one slips through the defences and destroys buenos aires ( the home city of the main characters ) , war is declared . 
this involves sending the grunts , who include johnny rico ( van dien ) and dizzy ( meyer ) , down to the surface of the bugs' planet . 
much carnage ensues . 
the troops are withdrawn and sent to another planet to answer a distress call . 
more carnage ensues . 
after being rescued , their plans are changed to capture a "" brain bug "" which is believed to be controlling the aliens' battle plans ( look , i didn't write this , ok ? ) . 
yet more carnage ensues . 
get the picture ? 
interspersed throughout all this are brief "" ads "" from the federal network , which present the picture of a neo-fascist state , much like in verhoeven's robocop . 
there are many problems with starship troopers . 
the plot , where one exists to drive the movie onwards , is silly . 
harris ( star of tv's doogie howser , md ) is presented with a psychic ability to talk to his ferret early on in the movie , apparently so we will accept his ability to mind-meld with a "" brain bug "" later on . 
in addition , the first thirty minutes of the movie ( until the characters sign up for service ) drag on like a bad episode of beverly hills , 90210 . 
the characters are one-dimensional , so much so , that when dizzy is killed , she says it's ok because she got to sleep with rico . 
i had hoped that verhoeven's use of a no-name cast would allow him to kill off several of the lead characters to surprise the audience , but such an idea appears to have escaped him . 
the dialogue is embarassing and isn't helped by the frequently terrible delivery ( i almost burst out laughing when harris delivered his speech about the need to sacrifice a few hundred people for the good of the species ) . 
finally , the fake "" ads "" become a nuisance . 
although they evoke the propaganda of the wwii-era movietone reels ( as presumably they are meant to ) , their complete lack of subtlety blunts their effect . 
some people will say all of that's irrelevant -- the movie hinges on the battle scenes . 
so what about those battle scenes ? 
well , i admit the effects are good -- the bugs move about quite convincingly , especially when they have been deprived of a few of their limbs . 
and people have their brains blown out , their limbs cut off , and their bodies ripped in two in quite impressive ways . 
but this is my problem . 
the entertainment value of the film rests almost entirely on its graphic portrayal of gore , and its continous attempt to gross us out ( starting early on when richards' character vomits on-screen ) . 
verhoeven appears to be trying to make a movie employing the elements that made a robocop a success , but fails spectacularly . 
while robocop had a message about the importance of being human , and gave the bad guys some motivation , starship troopers lacks even these simple features . 
when the brain bug sucks out a character's brain near the end of the film , it's merely an analogy for what the film has done to us . 
this film is full of graphic violence and is not suitable for children under 16 . 
"
"-1","often similar to a little boy lost in a park that he had no right venturing into , the call of the oboe ( o toque do oboe ) is a disappointing film that seems to have wandered astray . 
many elements of the film are solid , and have potential far greater than director claudio macdowell will ever know , but they simply don't convert into a solid work . 
although a setting is never established , it becomes apparent . 
the film takes place somewhere in a latin american village in present day . 
the community is a dull one , where every day is a downhill slide from the last . 
over time , the people have taken to themselves . 
the town cinema is closed , no tourist has passed through in years , and the daily funeral processions are accompanied by no one other than the grave digger . 
so what happens when a "" tourist "" ( paolo betti ) does arrive one day ? 
he sends this routine and dull town into mayhem and shock . 
it is revealed that he is a musician who plays the oboe as a hobby . 
when he sits down in the park one day to give a solo performance , the entire community gathers around for their first bit of entertainment in countless years . 
it is from that that the musician meets some of the villagers , and agrees to play at the local cinema in accompaniment to a silent film , thus opening the theatre for the first time in ages . 
the woman that talks him into this witty task is the cinema owner ( leticia vota ) who also happens to be engaged to the town's police inspector , a figure who soon becomes suspicious of his fiance's involvement with this musician . 
the rest of the plot closely resembles a freak show gone horribly astray . 
it features a character who literally rises from his grave , a woman who has a phone conversation with god , and the aforementioned inspector who goes from an intriguing and serious character , to an almost humorous drunk . 
technically , this film is a nightmare . 
the music score is poorly edited into the film , so it is often choppy , rough , and abrupt . 
the lighting is poor at best , which makes it increasingly difficult to focus on many scenes , and the english subtitles are full of misspelled words , and are often absent presumably on the assumption that the audience will be able to understand some simple portuguese and spanish phrases . 
this translation flaw is best highlighted at the beginning of the film when what seems to be a relevant fight is filled with dialogue , but the subtitles are limited to fewer than 25 words . 
in addition , the pace of the film seems uneven . 
it opens with a series of long panoramic shots that alone can test one's patience . 
the film then moves into a faster pace , that again slows towards the end , as the director seems determined to reach the two hour mark . 
there was , however , potential for this film . 
it is a piece exploring the beauty of cinema and music , and the re-unification of people . 
these are all topics that could easily fill a movie . 
perhaps , if there were no freak show , and the technical aspects were to improve , there might just be a thing of beauty at the end . 
most importantly , though , the director would have to patch up the plot and make it flow better so that the two hours aren't such a bore . 
until then , there seems to be little more hope for this piece , than that boy has by simply crying out "" mommy "" while he wanders astray in a park . 
"
"-1","a friend invites you to a movie . 
this film would evade the explosions and special effects of standard summer fare , and be grounded in reality . 
the plot is as follows : after a terrifying incident , a mother and her independent daughter separate from the father and move away from the city . 
they need fresh air to get some perspective , maybe to start over . 
romance begins to brew , however , as one of the locals , played by an international superstar in rugged clothing , sparks things up , ( especially at a country-western slow dance ) . 
it stars a rising young starlet , helms a good cast , and is directed by one of the better actor-turned-directors in hollywood . 
you accept . 
you jump at the opportunity to see , what you believe to be , _the horse whisperer_ . 
but , poor moviegoer , you have been conned . 
alas , you find yourself watching , incredulously , _hope floats_ . 
oh , woe . 
your hope has sunk . 
why was this movie made ? 
why was it released ? 
it is a travesty on nearly every level , and has the authority to sink the careers of nearly everyone involved . 
at the hands of a better script , the film could have been a gem . 
but it is clueless as to what it is about , and only succeeds in transferring same cluelessness to us poor viewers . 
_hope floats_ stars sandra bullock as birdy , who , after discovering her husband has been cheating on her with her best friend ( on national television no less ) , takes her daughter and drives back to her home , helmed by a countryish bumpkin eccentric played by gena rowlands , ( she decorates with stuffed wildlife ) . 
birdy's nephew , travis ( played by _leave it to beaver_'s cameron finley ) , is under her custody , and in one of the film's many failed in-jokes , is always seen wearing a different halloween costume . 
what is the point of this ? 
does it make any sense ? 
is it supposed to be funny ? 
the point of the film is to show that the family is eccentric , but i was convinced that the grandma should have been locked up for endangering the mental welfare of a child . 
all of this undercuts the plot , of which there is none . 
there are only many scenes that are supposed to register emotion . 
there's the scene where birdy , who used to be the prom queen , is humbled by approaching a peer she once mocked , for a job . 
there's the scene where birdy dances with her father , in the hospital for alzheimer's . 
and then there's the sentimental scenes with justin , played by harry connick jr . , who is taking a liking to her again , showing her a beautiful pad that he built from scratch . 
and during each of these scenes , i was sidetracked by my earlier question . 
what sort of eccentric grandmother go through such great pains as to provide a dog costume , a kermit costume , a cowboy costume ( with whip ) , and a full furred barney costume for her grandson to wear during dinner ? 
what sort of warped ramifications would this lead for the rest of his life ? 
outside of this , there are other sure signs of screenwriters block . 
when the daughter stands up to the bully at school . 
when birdy almost loses her job . 
when the family pulls in a goofy lip-synch to cheer someone up . 
when someone dies . 
when the daughter cries , ( no , wails ) in exasperation that her father is not coming back . 
in a movie like this , you notice the strings being pushed , and you sit there , comatose , hoping it will end . 
who can survive such a debacle ? 
i worry for bullock's career , which has been running on auto-pilot for the last few years . 
she has an attitude , a solid perkiness , and can drive a bus--but she can't handle the emotional scenes , much less hold a southern accent . 
harry connick , jr . is worse--stick with singing , or get some acting lessons , please ! 
gena rowlands is the best part of the film . 
but she's such a good actress , that it staggers the mind that she's weighed down by such lukewarm material here . 
it would be a severe tragedy if the recurring star of john cassavettes' great films is known for this film . 
two notes to forest whittaker : ( 1 ) cut the slow-motion sequences . 
there are twelve times where you undercut your own direction by such a failed trick . 
have you done so , you could have shaved off ten-minutes of this almost unbearable debacle . 
 ( 2 ) you've had to know something was wrong if your cinematographer's filter makes the candlelight appear like little "" x "" s . 
you're not a bad director , but you can't change a terrible script . 
there's a recurring scene where birdy , working at the neighborhood fotomat , finds the machine go wrong , and image after destroyed , warped , dark image appear . 
think about it . 
a succession of destroyed images may have been more entertaining than this movie . 
"
"-1","any remake of an alfred hitchcock film is at best an uncertain project , as a perfect murder illustrates . 
frankly , dial m for murder is not one of the master director's greatest efforts , so there is ample room for improvement . 
unfortunately , instead of updating the script , ironing out some of the faults , and speeding up the pace a little , a perfect murder has inexplicably managed to eliminate almost everything that was worthwhile about dial m for murder , leaving behind the nearly- unwatchable wreckage of a would-be '90s thriller . 
almost all suspense films are loaded with plot implausibilities . 
the best thrillers keep viewers involved enough in what's going on so that these flaws in logic don't become apparent until long after the final credits have rolled . 
unfortunately , in a perfect murder , the faults are often so overt that we become aware of them as they're happening . 
this is a very bad sign . 
not only do such occurrences shatter any suspension of disbelief , but they have the astute viewer looking for the next such blunder . 
of course , in the case of a perfect murder , at least that gives an audience member something to do besides concentrating on the inane plot and the lifeless , cardboard characters . 
a perfect murder isn't a strict remake of dial m for murder , but it does borrow heavily from frederick knott's play ( which was also the source material for hitchcock's version , as well as a 1981 made-for-tv retelling ) . 
emily hayes ( gwyneth paltrow ) is the wealthy wife of powerful wall street mover-and-shaker steven hayes ( michael douglas ) . 
their marriage isn't going well -- emily resents steven's controlling instincts , and , as a form of rebellion , she is having an affair with a penniless painter , david shaw ( viggo mortensen ) . 
when steven learns of the relationship , he decides to confront david , but his approach isn't that of a typical cuckolded husband . 
instead of yelling or threatening , steven offers david a proposal that's too good to resist : for $500 , 000 in cash ( $100 , 000 before , the rest after ) , he is to break into steven's new york apartment and kill emily . 
 ( of course , after getting the first payment , david never bothers to ask how he's supposed to get the rest . ) 
ultimately , i'm not sure which of the three main characters we're supposed to be sympathetic to : the cold-hearted husband , who wants his wife dead so he can get his hands on her fortune ; her mercenary lover , who is willing to do the deed for half-a-million ; or the woman , who is happily carrying on an extramarital affair . 
not only are these individuals all profoundly dislikable , but they're not interesting . 
 ( it's possible to make a good movie with detestable characters -- see reservoir dogs -- but there has to be something compelling about them , which , in this case , there isn't . ) 
steven , emily , and david are all lifted directly from the screenwriting 101 text book on stereotypes . 
the actors in this film are obviously just on hand to get their paychecks . 
michael douglas is playing the kind of heartless tycoon that he can do in his sleep -- he's gordon gekko with an unfaithful wife . 
gwyneth paltrow , who was recently delightful and appealing in sliding doors , is simply awful here . 
she now has the dubious distinction of have starred in two of 1998's worst thrillers ( the other being hush ) . 
at least viggo mortensen ( g . i . 
jane ) has a little fun with his part , but then he usually does interesting things even in bad movies . 
the thin supporting cast includes david suchet , the star of "" poirot , "" as a police inspector , and sarita choudhury ( kama sutra ) as emily's best friend . 
a perfect murder is a plodding production that generates almost no suspense from beginning to end . 
there aren't many twists and turns in the unexpectedly linear script , which makes the ending inevitable almost from the start . 
it's surprising to see director andrew davis , the man behind the fugitive , involved in this mess , but , like his stars , he too needs to earn a living . 
it's just that remaking hitchcock , and doing it so badly , hardly seems to be an honorable way to go about getting the dough . 
"
"-1","steve martin shines but sgt . bilko 
fails to impress 
based on the popular 50's sitcom , sgt . 
bilko follows the string of old-sitcoms-to-movie conversion fever . 
remember the brady bunch movie or the beverly hillbillies released sometime back ? 
 ( brady bunch was a moderate hit in in the us while hillbillies flopped ) . 
i do not really know whether the hollywood minds are running out of good ideas or just being plain lazy , but the tv-conversion-movies are hitting our screens like wildfire , sad to say , with mixed success . 
such movies are mostly targeted at us viewers since they are usually followings of such series over there and the larger the following , the more likely the sitcom will be made into a movie . 
sgt . 
bilko ( frankly , i have not seen any its original tv version ) , even with the charm and wild antics of funnymen steve martin and dan akroyd ; failed to entertain . 
sgt . ernest bilko is the man behind the motor pool ( place of vehicle storage and repair ) of fort baxter . 
though totally unskilled in the field of work that he is supposed to be in charge of , he has an almost superhuman ability and zeal to sniff out money-making opportunities ; from running a gambling den in the military garage to 4-d pools . 
though materialistic in mind , bilko's methods has thoughtfully `enriched' the lives of the men of fort baxter , providing them with some form of real recreation within the camp and the people love him for that . 
colonel hall runs the entire fort and thanks to his inborn `blissfully-confused' state , bilko has managed to hide his operation , though nearly every living person in the fort knows about it . 
bilko's state of ascent is suddenly under-fire when the pentagon sends major thorn , a tough cookie on army regulations , to check on the progress on the $70 million hovertank project , a new weapon under development within the fort's grounds . 
to add to his problems , thorn is determined to bring bilko down in retalliation of a major `sabo' done on him by bilko during their younger army days . 
director jonathan lynn , who directed my cousin vinny ( in which marisa tomei won an oscar for best-supporting actress ) managed to pull sgt . 
bilko through with suitable pacing and some exceptional moments of laughter , but that is about it . 
there are really not enough laughter-packed-moments in sgt . 
bilko to fully entertain the average movie-goer . 
still , steve martin's sgt . 
bilko is played with finesse and full-force by the renowned comedian . 
without him , sgt . 
bilko would have just fell flat on its face . 
sgt . 
bilko did moderately well in the us box office early this year but i doubt it will earn much elsewhere around the world . 
the current trend in mixed successes in such tv-conversions may be a blessing in disguise , really ; at least it will force hollywood to re-think any of its initial intentions to turn another tv-idea into a movie or at the very least approach those ideas with more creativity . 
unless you are a fan of the tv-series or love to watch steve martin in action , you can skip this one when deciding which movie to catch in the local theatres . 
i'm sure there are better ones around . 
"
"-1","look ! the new version of "" psycho "" came out and the world didn't end ! 
i guess gus van sant really isn't the bringer of the apocalypse ! 
unfortunately , though , that "" psycho "" didn't end the world as we know is the best thing that can be said for it . 
van sant's controversial "" re-telling "" of alfred hitchcock's classic 1960 film has polarized filmgoers everywhere ( even before it premiered . ) 
without benefit of an actual viewing , many have said that the film will , at best , suck . 
being an ( almost ) good critic , i waited until i actually saw it to decide that the film , at best , sucked ( and that concludes the use of the word "" suck "" and , hopefully , the thoughts that i am a brain-dead orangutan . ) 
director gus van sant took the original hitchcock film and refilmed it , shot-for-shot , using the same , exact script ( with a few minor alterations . ) 
the inherent challenge was in making the film suspenseful and scary , even though a large group of the audience will know exactly what will happen at the exact time . 
suspense probably could have been attained if the actors had been able to create something new or different than the original . 
sadly , that did not occur . 
it is hard to be overshadowed by vera miles and john gavin ( from the original "" psycho ) , but that is what exactly happened to julianne moore and viggo mortensen . 
in moore's case , the film would have been helped if "" the x- files "" gillian anderson had been cast instead ; especially since moore goes through the entire film doing a scully impression ! 
from the cold demeanor and expressions to her rigid way of forming a sentence , moore is scully ! 
mortensen ( who i liked in "" g . i . 
jane "" ) opts to play sam loomis as a cowboy/hick , which would have been nice if he had gone past that starting point . 
sam has a twang and a cowboy hat , but that's about it . 
mortensen turns in one of the most uptight performance in recent memory . 
anne heche , in the janet leigh role , does a few good things in her brief time on screen . 
at least her marion crane has a little life in her , which can't be said for most of the rest of the cast . 
the best work , though , comes from vince vaughn , as the demented mama's boy , norman bates . 
he's not going to make anyone forget anthony perkins , but he is effective both in being naughty and nice . 
the best part of the film is the dinner scene heche and vaughn , where they simply talk . 
there is some solid acting there , something that is not carried through the rest of the film . 
van sant has made a boring film . 
all the camera tricks that hitchcock so eloquently used in 1960 aren't as eye-catching now . 
what passed for brilliance then has been copied so many times by so many directors that they don't impress or excite . 
van sant , in what i assume is a grasp at originality , decided to put some stream-of-consciousness images into a few famous scenes ( was that a lamb in the middle of the road ? ) 
these images , included with some questionable editing choices , took away from the scenes themselves and caused , at first , bewilderment and , later , laughter . 
definitely not hitchcock's intention ! 
at least danny elfman had the good sense to not mess with bernard herrmann's original famous and terrific score . 
if a film like "" psycho "" does not frighten , then what's the point . 
aside from norman , the characters are thinly drawn people who leave no connection with the audience . 
there are things van sant and company could have done to at least make their recreation interesting . 
in the end , however , the new "" psycho "" is a noble attempt , but , alas , a dismal failure . 
"
"-1","an american werewolf in london is john landis' groundbreaking feature about an american tourist who gets himself bitten by a werewolf in jolly old england . 
the groundbreaking part of the movie is the special effects . 
more specifically , the makeup used for the transformation of a man into a werewolf ; and for the ghosts that haunt the main character . 
even twenty years after its release , that part of the movie is still impressive . 
although , i would have to say that it really is the only part of the movie that could be considered impressive . 
the rest of the movie is a run of the mill werewolf flick with some extra gore thrown in for good measure . 
if it weren't for the cutting edge makeup effects used in the werewolf transformation it is most likely that this is a film that would have gone largely unnoticed when it was released back in 1980 . 
and with good reason -- the acting isn't great and neither is the writing . 
well ok , we don't actually expect either of those things to be great in a horror film . 
but one other important element is lacking here too -- it isn't scary . 
with no exception , you know what is going to happen before it happens . 
you don't even need the obligatory scary music to give you a hint . 
i will give director john landis credit for this being one of the best looking horror films that i have ever seen . 
but john , it just wasn't scary . 
i didn't know if this was intended to be some sort of romantic drama and the whole werewolf thing was just thrown in to get people to come to the theater to see it , but it didn't work for me . 
actually , it was intended as a sort of a spoof on horror films . 
but the mix of the comedic moments with the melodrama was so bad ; the intended humor was lost on me . 
it's never a good sign that you don't realize a movie is supposed to be funny until after the movie is long over and you read it in the background material . 
call me crazy , but you shouldn't have to do research on a movie to enjoy it . 
i'm not even going to get into the plot of the movie that much , since the title pretty well sums the whole thing up . 
werewolf bites boy ( david naughton ) . 
boy ends up in hospital where he is tended to and eventually falls for pretty nurse ( jenny agutter ) and then strange things begin to happen to boy . 
including , and i must admit this is a very nice touch , visits from his friend who was killed in the same werewolf attack that ended up with him in the hospital . 
the neat thing here is that his buddy is a rapidly deteriorating corpse . 
i know it sounds strange , but it actually works . 
the scenes between david naughton and the dead buddy ( griffin dunne ) are really the best parts of the movie . 
as i said , probably the only reason that this film was a hit was because of the special effects . 
while they are still impressive today , they aren't impressive enough , or plentiful enough to warrant watching this film . 
and since they are more or less the highlight of the film , there are far better choices out there if you want a scary movie to curl up with your sweetheart to watch . 
actually , the 1998 sequel , an american werewolf in paris , is more entertaining since it doesn't take itself as seriously and actually provides a few more laughs along the way . 
"
"-1","capsule : annoyingly unentertaining , obvious and paper-thin buddy/cop/drug/sexy-witness movie . 
presence of director michael bay shows none of the talent he demonstrated in the rock . 
i've seen this movie already , i said , as i looked at the box art . 
no , i haven't even seen a trailer for the movie ; i don't even know what it's about , but i can look at the way they're promoting it , and i know i've seen it already . 
i thought : it's about these two cops . 
and they're buddies , sort of . 
they're at each other's throats a lot , but they really do like each other . 
and everyone else in their department hates them 'cause they're hot-shots . 
and they have some kind of diametric opposition in their relationship . 
and one day they're in the middle of cop business as usual when they get mixed up in this plot that involves a really sadistic bad guy with lots of henchmen who can never hit anything with the billions of rounds of ammo they are always carrying . 
and the bad guy is a drug lord . 
and there's a witness , and she's this sexy thing who rubs both of them the wrong way . 
and their supervisor wants their badges for breakfast when they blow up half the town bringing this guy down . 
i only missed the bit about the badges . 
the rest i got dead-on . 
and i hadn't even left the video store yet . 
the cops in this movie are will smith and martin lawrence , and the bad guy is the immensely underutilized tcheky karyo . 
smith plays a cop who has a trust fund and is thus not a cop for the money ; martin l . is a family man ( shades of the now-tired lethal weapon dynamic here ) whose wife and he are at total odds . 
this leads to some strained scenes about lawrence's "" not getting any "" , and some totally unneccesary bits with him skulking around his own house , thinking his partner is now his wife's "" back door man "" . 
not funny ; tiresome . 
bad boys gets some of its incredibly meager selling points from the presence of will smith and martin lawrence . 
will smith is a natural , and i'm happy to see him in movies like six degrees . . . 
and men in black . 
he's funny and charming without trying to be ; he really does seem to be enjoying himself . 
martin lawrence is a different story ; he's so uptight and verbally constipated that sitting through his improvised riffs are a trial . 
movies like this are not about originality . 
i know this . 
they are about style and energy and synergy between actors . 
i know this , too . 
and yet , while watching bad boys , which its glamorous photography and impossibly exact stunt choreography , i felt fed up . 
i'd seen con air , which despite being completely implausible , was still great fun , because it tried however feebly to put some new life into the mix . 
bad boys is a dry run -- and overlong , too , clocking in at just over two hours with a lot more by-play than i felt could be justified . 
i could write this movie . 
you could write this movie . 
many people have . 
many people will continue to write this movie , over and over again . 
other people will buy it from them , and make it , and we will pay money to see it . 
more the fools we all . 
in a terrifyingly prescient line from his book a scanner darkly , phil k . dick once mused that the mcdonaldburger ( as he called it ) would eventually eclipse money as the token of cultural and financial exchange . 
one day we will all just sit in our living rooms and sell the same burger back and forth to each other . 
the same could be said about this movie . 
i have the sinking feeling we're going to see it again . 
soon . 
"
"-1","in the first death wish movie , mild-mannered new york architect paul kersey , played by charles bronson , was avenging the death of his wife . 
in the second , he was avenging his daughter . 
in the third , he instigated small war in order to avenge the old friend . 
fourth movie , on the other hand , begins with kersey doubting the point of his violent crusades and living the quiet life with his girlfriend karen , played by kay lenz . 
however , since this is death wish movie , we know that sooner or later something bad is going to happen to the people kersey cares for . 
this time karen's teenage daughter dies of a crack overdose and kersey is forced to return to his old vigilante ways . 
kersey's new targets , unlike the previous movies , aren't the ordinary street punks but rich , heavily armed and well-connected drug dealers . 
even such unstoppable killing machine like kersey needs some support , and it comes from the publisher nathan white ( john p . ryan ) , determined to avenge the drug-related death of his own daughter . 
white's plan is to make kersey kill major players in two rival drug dealing organisations and thus instigate the war between them . 
the plan begins to take shape , but kersey's actions bring attention of two police detectives - reiner ( george dickerson ) and nozaki ( soon teck-oh ) . 
fourth ( and , unfortunately , not the final ) installment in the death wish series , will probably remembered as the typical movie of cannon group , production company responsible for some of the worst cinematic trash of the last decade . 
however , although some critics might argue , death wish 4 : the crackdown represents slight improvement over the death wish 3 . paul kersey , one of the most intriguing ( and potentially controversial ) characters of the 1970s , is still being dumbed down by mediocre script , and charles bronson really doesn't feel the need to put much effort in his acting . 
however , the hand of a veteran director j . lee thompson seems more capable of michael winner's and the action scenes seem slightly less surreal , although they still look cheap and repetitive and downright boring . 
there are some attempts for the movie to have a plot between the numerous scenes of violence , and one of such attempts is a potentially interesting plot twist at the end . 
the script even tries to fake some social conscience ( through criminally underused kay lenz's character ) and predates the war on drugs campaign that would inspire many hollywood products in next few years . 
there are even some half-hearted attempts of humour - both intentional and unintentional , like in a scene where kersey assassinates mob figures by a wine bottle - but the quality of this movie is still far away from bronson's 1970s classics . 
 ( special note to x-philes : mith pilleggi , the actor who plays ad skinner in the x- files , could be seen in a small role of cannery lab foreman ) . 
"
"-1","i've never written a review for a movie i haven't watched all the way through , but i had to make an exception with powder . 
i was about forty-five minutes into this one at a friend's house when he and his brother got into a huge shouting match that would have ended in violence had we not left the house . 
so i never got to finish the movie and i'm sure as hell not going to pay three more bucks to watch half of a bad movie . 
but i can at least get a partial review out of it , because i saw enough to know this one wasn't worth finishing in the first place . 
the movie centers around a freaky teenager who's spent his entire life living in the cellar of his grandparents' house . 
when grandpa dies ( taking his department store down with him ) , social worker mary steenburgen has to take powder ( first and middle names ? 
gold bond ) to a state home , where we find out he's a different from the other kids . 
actually , we find out he's different when we first see him , because he's the most pale individual we've ever seen and moreover he has no body hair whatsoever . 
when powder is born in the opening minutes of the movie , the father takes one look at him and says "" he's not my son . "" 
obviously . 
all i want to know is where the pillsbury dough boy was nine months ago . 
so the white-faced freak leaves his neverland ranch for the state home and faces the ridicule of other kids . 
that is , until they try to haze him during his first cafeteria lunch by making him "" wear "" his spoon ( "" you can either wear it on your nose or up your ass . "" 
decisions , decisions . . . ) and he uses telepathic powers to draw all the silverware in the room into a giant pile in the middle of the table . 
so if his father is the pillsbury dough boy , his mother must be sissy spacek's carrie character . 
and you have to factor in two more things from the subsequent scenes , as we find out powder has some sort of super-intelligence ( "" your i . q . 
test went straight off the chart ! "" ) 
and attracts electrical power . 
this first shows up as powder visits the world of high school ( if he's such a genius already , why would he need a high school education ? ) and sits through a demonstration in jeff goldblum's science class . 
goldblum plugs in a "" jacob's ladder "" device that shows current running up two wires and immediately the current flows across the room and into powder's chest . 
but goldblum just stands there for about thirty seconds watching , instead of just unplugging the damn thing . 
i guess he was too busy contemplating why he was appearing in his third bad movie in a row ( following hideaway and nine months ) . 
that's about all i saw before the big fight began and , let me tell you , that was twice as interesting as the movie itself . 
but like i said , i saw enough to know this would be one of those terrible melodramas about the isolation of people who have superior abilities and how hard it is for those people to assimilate themselves into mainstream civilization . 
none of these movies ever handle the subject properly , instead introducing the feeble beauty and the beast copout of having a beautiful woman fall in love with the guy's personality , overlooking his personal appearance . 
i already had the female character picked out ( the girl who was sitting next to him in the back of the room during the electrocution scene ) , but i guess i'll never know for sure what happened . 
from noraruth@aol . com 
mon jun 10 15 : 04 : 03 edt 1996 article : 3654 of rec . arts . movies . reviews 
path : nntphub . cb . att . com ! not-for-mail 
from : noraruth@aol . com 
 ( andrew hicks ) newsgroups : rec . arts . movies . reviews , rec . arts . sf . reviews 
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powder a film review by andrew hicks copyright 1996 andrew hicks / fatboy productions 
i've never written a review for a movie i haven't watched all the way through , but i had to make an exception with powder . 
i was about forty-five minutes into this one at a friend's house when he and his brother got into a huge shouting match that would have ended in violence had we not left the house . 
so i never got to finish the movie and i'm sure as hell not going to pay three more bucks to watch half of a bad movie . 
but i can at least get a partial review out of it , because i saw enough to know this one wasn't worth finishing in the first place . 
the movie centers around a freaky teenager who's spent his entire life living in the cellar of his grandparents' house . 
when grandpa dies ( taking his department store down with him ) , social worker mary steenburgen has to take powder ( first and middle names ? 
gold bond ) to a state home , where we find out he's a different from the other kids . 
actually , we find out he's different when we first see him , because he's the most pale individual we've ever seen and moreover he has no body hair whatsoever . 
when powder is born in the opening minutes of the movie , the father takes one look at him and says "" he's not my son . "" 
obviously . 
all i want to know is where the pillsbury dough boy was nine months ago . 
so the white-faced freak leaves his neverland ranch for the state home and faces the ridicule of other kids . 
that is , until they try to haze him during his first cafeteria lunch by making him "" wear "" his spoon ( "" you can either wear it on your nose or up your ass . "" 
decisions , decisions . . . ) and he uses telepathic powers to draw all the silverware in the room into a giant pile in the middle of the table . 
so if his father is the pillsbury dough boy , his mother must be sissy spacek's carrie character . 
and you have to factor in two more things from the subsequent scenes , as we find out powder has some sort of super-intelligence ( "" your i . q . 
test went straight off the chart ! "" ) 
and attracts electrical power . 
this first shows up as powder visits the world of high school ( if he's such a genius already , why would he need a high school education ? ) and sits through a demonstration in jeff goldblum's science class . 
goldblum plugs in a "" jacob's ladder "" device that shows current running up two wires and immediately the current flows across the room and into powder's chest . 
but goldblum just stands there for about thirty seconds watching , instead of just unplugging the damn thing . 
i guess he was too busy contemplating why he was appearing in his third bad movie in a row ( following hideaway and nine months ) . 
that's about all i saw before the big fight began and , let me tell you , that was twice as interesting as the movie itself . 
but like i said , i saw enough to know this would be one of those terrible melodramas about the isolation of people who have superior abilities and how hard it is for those people to assimilate themselves into mainstream civilization . 
none of these movies ever handle the subject properly , instead introducing the feeble beauty and the beast copout of having a beautiful woman fall in love with the guy's personality , overlooking his personal appearance . 
i already had the female character picked out ( the girl who was sitting next to him in the back of the room during the electrocution scene ) , but i guess i'll never know for sure what happened . 
"
"-1","this is the movie that could single-handedly bring "" mystery science theater 3000 "" out of cancellation . 
it's one of those movies that's so bad it's absolutely hilarious , due in no small part to its big star , supermodel cindy crawford . 
if you only remember one thing about fair game , it should be that it singlehandedly proves crawford should stick to the sports illustrated swimsuit issues . 
if you thought kathy ireland was laughable in alien from l . a . , you'll change your mind when you see fair game . 
ireland would win handfuls of oscars if this was her only competition . 
in a real casting coup , crawford plays a super-intelligent lawyer ( in a jogging bra , of course ) . 
we all know this is a stretch , the only legal opinion crawford has ever put forth being that she favors the death penalty for anyone who wears white after labor day . 
nonetheless , someone out there thought she'd make a good lawyer , but we're reminded of her true function in the movie when she takes two showers in a period of twenty minutes . 
and for you horny teenage boys out there , you actually get to see her topless for two seconds in the dark . . . 
come to think of it , that may have been a body double . 
cindy crawford isn't black , is she ? 
like i said , crawford is a lawyer with a bunch of russians after her . 
billy baldwin ( or is it stephen ? 
alec ? 
adam ? 
kim basinger ? ) is the police detective who has to save her life , time after time , chase after chase , explosion after explosion . 
there's absolutely nothing original about this movie . 
it's every cop show of the 70's mixed with every action thriller of the 80's and every technology- exploitation movie of the 90's . 
three decades of crap all in one place , driven further into the ground by crawford's complete lack of acting talent . 
and it's all completely predictable . 
you know the mistakes baldwin and crawford are going to make before they make them , you know when the "" sexual tension "" will finally end up in them consummating the relationship , you know when the villains will capture crawford so baldwin has to rescue her in the climax and you know the movie's going to suck from the first scene . 
the plot isn't really explained until the end . 
all we know is these russians have every detail about crawford in their computer . 
in the words of one of the villains , "" we even know what size pantyhose she wears . "" 
 ( yeah , you and every 14-year-old boy in america . ) 
he goes on to add , "" we know more about her than she does . "" 
 ( _that_ i find very easy to believe . ) 
i hope you enjoyed those two sample dialogue quotes , because i wrote down plenty of other bad ones ( "" if it weren't for me , you'd still be pulling bananas out of your ass in cuba ! "" ) 
because , you see , fair game is not only a showcase for recycled action cliches and terrible acting , but also some seriously bad dialogue . 
it all adds up to a really terrible movie that made me laugh in plenty of places i wasn't supposed to and grimace in places i was supposed to laugh . 
one more thing fair game has against it is some awful comic relief . 
would you laugh at a scene where crawford tortures a computer nerd with double entendres like "" i'm very interested in _hard_ware "" and other crap about playing with his joystick ? 
i wouldn't , but not because i'm a computer nerd . 
it's just not funny . 
crawford's only contribution to the information age are a few gif files floating around with her head on a nude traci lords' body . . . 
or was it jack lord's body ? 
i'll leave you with the final line of dialogue in the movie . 
the boat with all the russians has just blown up and baldwin and crawford are floating on a life raft . 
crawford says woodenly , "" that was my client's boat you just blew up . 
i'm filing a lawsuit against you . 
you're in big trouble , "" or something to that effect , and baldwin replies smugly , "" what do i have to do to get out of it ? "" 
they of course begin making out and the credits roll . 
i'm not going to talk about how stupid the line is or how , if they'd really wanted to go for a bad closing line they would have had baldwin say , "" you think i could settle out of court ? "" 
but i will tell you that , if anyone ever suggests you watch fair game with him or her , you quote the final line of the movie to that person : "" what do i have to do to get out of it ? "" 
serving america for over 1/50th of a century ! 
"
"-1","attention moviegoers : you are about to enter a meaning-free zone . 
should the sound system malfunction during your viewing of 200 cigarettes , do not panic . 
the film will work just as well as a silent movie . 
chronicling the meaningless lives of vain , yuppie types , the movie covers the same ground as the wilt stillman films ( last days of disco , barcelona and metropolitan ) but without any of his acerbic wit and the inviting style of his writing . 
first-time writer shana larsen makes the mistake of creating a couple of dozen characters and not giving any of them any depth . 
there isn't one of these characters worth caring about . 
the movie features such a cornucopia of hot young stars that it looks like a celluloid version of "" people magazine . "" 
among others , the movie features : ben affleck , casey affleck , david chappelle , janeane garofalo , gaby hoffmann , catherine kellner , courtney love , jay mohr , martha plimpton , christina ricci and paul rudd . 
and unlike people magazine , the people speak , not that they have anything interesting to say . 
it's new year's eve in 1981 , and monica ( martha plimpton ) is preparing her big party . 
structured as a series of relatively unrelated stories about her guests on the way to the party , director risa bramon garcia flits back and forth among her stars . 
monica's apartment is in "" noho , "" an area that one of the guests describes as "" so cool , all of the poor people live there . "" 
typical of the shallow couples in the movie are kevin ( paul rudd ) and his friend and would-be sexual partner lucy ( courtney love ) . 
they argue about whether lucy is a slut or not since she sleeps with everyone , except him , of course . 
she dares him to go immediately to a bathroom stall and have sex with her , which turns out to be neither erotic , funny or successful -- rather like the rest of the story . 
the movie gets its title from the carton of cigarettes that lucy gives kevin for his new year's eve birthday . 
 "" cigarettes are a shield against emotional interaction with other people , "" kevin later tells lucy in a snippet of dialog that sounds profound only outside the context of the movie . 
another character , played by jay mohr , has a problem with his sexual triumphs . 
every woman he beds falls deeply in love with him by the next morning . 
when his latest conquest tells him of her affection for him , his response is "" i like a lot of people . "" 
as the movie finally draws to a close , the characters awaken from their post-party game of musical beds . 
some have passed out early from alcohol abuse and remember little , while others actually have some clue as to what happened . 
the movie itself is so forgettable that by the time you reach your car in the parking lot , all trace of the film will have vanished from your mind , which is probably the best thing that can be said about the movie . 
200 cigarettes runs 1 : 40 . 
it is rated r for profanity , sex and one dope smoking scene and would be acceptable for older teenagers . 
"
"-1","i have nothing against unabashedly romantic films . 
when done right , with at least slightly evident restraint , they can be engaging , sweeping , appealing . 
but it's a hell of a shame when someone botches it as badly as nora ephron botched sleepless in seattle , a hollow , boring romance that should appeal only to the most gullible of viewers ; the ones willing to buy into ephron's whiny views of life and romance . 
tom hanks and meg ryan , two of hollywood's most likeable stars play sam baldwin and annie reed , repectively . 
baldwin's wife recently died and he moved to seattle with his son , jonah , seeking to get away from the familiar surroundings which remind him of his late spouse . 
jonah senses tension and calls a talk radio show to tell the world about their problems . 
sam seems ready to strangle his son for calling the show , but when he gets on the phone he begins pouring his heart out . 
ephron has him do this so that annie reed ( meg ryan ) can hear it . 
annie is a happy woman . 
she is engaged to walter , an allergy-prone working man and seems to be perfectly content . 
but after hearing sam the widower on the radio show , she becomes convinced that he is her destiny and is willing to risk her engagement for it . 
five years after this movie hit theaters , hanks , ryan and ephron would team up again in the far better , although still sub-par romantic comedy you've got mail , which is about people who hate each other in real life falling in love on the internet . 
at least that movie had a sense of spontaneity . 
here it seems that the first one hundred minutes exist solely to set up for the last five . 
the fact that sam and annie will finally meet is so excruciatingly obvious that everything else is perfunctory . 
sleepless in seattle is full of wonderful performers ; from its two leads to supporting stars like bill pullman and rosie o'donnell . 
but none of them can save the film from being a bore . 
its characters are dull and empty , its script isn't funny or particularly charming . 
the script has a fundamental problem : annie gives up , for little reason , her life with walter to pursue "" sleepless in seattle , "" whom she has never even seen . 
it's the kind of life decision that real people don't make , and its a major , unforgivable plausibility sacrifice . 
in essence , this movie's purpose is to head towards a goal that shouldn't even exist . 
it's a ten minute short film with ninety-five minutes of filler . 
if you were to show me sleepless in seattle and i didn't have to review it , you could just call me "" asleep in philadelphia . "" 
 ? 1999 eugene novikov&#137 ; 
"
"-1","if you've seen the trailers or commercials , it's rather difficult to really figure out what this movie has in store . 
well , it's hard to tell after watching the movie as well . 
bruce willis is a resident of the future , and it is a rather bleak future . 
the world's population had disintigrated into a mere 200 , 000 and is no longer ruled by humans but animals . 
the reason ? 
in 1995 , an organization called the army of the 12 monkeys contaminated the world with a pure virus , thus wiping out practically the world's population in a mere month . 
bruce willis' character is one of the surviving few , but is enslaved by scientists , as are most of last living humans . 
they barter his freedom by sending him on an assignment and having him do the ultimate task : go into the past , find the leader of the army of the 12 monkeys , and kill him . 
well , this explanation didn't come easy . 
although the movie is very thought provoking of us as a people , our future and the evilo in the world , as a story it is very confusing . 
and dragging . 
i know a movie isn''t keeping my interest when i fidget in my seat or feel the need to look at my watch only to find that it's only been an hour passed . 
terry gilliam has a certain style that i realize many appreciate , and i haven't watched his previous work brazil , but this movie felt like it took too long to tell and yet when one realizes the end is near because it is very easy to figure out , you wish it were more complex , and not to mention that the movie is depressing is the only reason why it did invoke emotion from me . 
"
"-1","house on haunted hill ( 1999 ) starring taye diggs , geoffrey rush , ali larter , famke janssen , peter gallagher , bridgette wilson , max perlich , lisa loeb , james marsters , and chris kattan . 
directed by william malone , written by dick beebe , 
 "" house on haunted hill "" initializes itself to the audience with a scene involving zombie-like mental patients attacking and murdering doctors in the goriest ways possible . 
one doctor is killed instantly after having a pencil rammed completely through his neck . 
a nurse has her head forced into a barrel of water . 
these mobs of zombies presented are like those in previous b-horror flicks , with grunting noises and cadaverous movements . 
except this time , at the end of the millenium , the film is given the power to show exactly how horrific these creatures can be . 
in past horror films , the actual murder scenes are left out or not shown forcing the viewer to assume their own nasty bloody deaths for the hapless victims . 
 "" house on haunted hill "" doesn't want their audience to have an imagination , everything is provided for them to watch and squirm , not think . 
this nonsense violence thrown out of nowhere is unfortunately the most refreshing part about this film . 
 "" house on haunted hill "" , which is based on the 1958 film of the same title , introduces a handful of characters as quickly as it can , following the opening blood fest . 
the film has no intention of providing character development or a laudable plot . 
the aim here is to scare the audience with chilling , unexpected shots of blood , guts , and mayhem . 
however , the film is neither scary nor unpredictable . 
the plot involves five people who are dared to spend the night in a haunted house for one million dollars by an amusement park owner ( geoffrey rush ) . 
each character is a failure in the external world and acknowledges that they would do anything for that money . 
since the characters are immediately generalized as either greedy or caring , the expectations of who will survive or not is killed five minutes after you meet them . 
the problem is that every character is not likable . 
the two who come closest to being civilized are a womanizer ( taye diggs - who should be doing films a lot better than this with all of his talent ) and a businesswoman who accepts being womanized ( ali larter ) . 
the characters presented are so annoying and pathetic , that it is hard to cheer for them or scream them . 
the worst character in this film , or maybe in any film released this year , is chris kattan's watson pritchett . 
he spends the whole film whining about the spooky house in a tone so irritating and inappropriate , that he unintentionally begins to seem more evil than the house itself . 
waiting for pritchett to die , was a strenuously difficult act to sit through . 
the most humorous actor of the bunch is geoffrey rush playing steven price ( an homage to victor price who starred in the original ) . 
playing the rich man who supposedly organized the party , he plays the role perfectly in a twisted way where it is obvious that he is up to something just by the expressions on his face . 
however , rush is pretty much wasted in a confusing subplot involving a hateful marriage with evelyn price , played by famke janssen . 
the main problem is that "" house on haunted hill "" is not scary . 
to top off that huge disappointment , every actor was wasted and the script was completely ludicrous . 
if the annoying characters and hilariously bad dialogue were intentionally underdeveloped ( similar to "" deep blue sea "" ) , the goal for creating a creepy , suspenseful action film was completely missed . 
"
"-1","fit for a ghoul's night out , fat girl stands cast iron firm with the simplistic , fatuous , built-in excuse that its woman director is baring the harsh sexual realities of adolescent girls . 
being a boy , i might not understand female behavior and am unequipped to analyze this particular pseudo-feminist coming-of-age story . 
fair enough . 
i'll pretend to ignore the mannered posturing and health class 101 "" this is a no-no "" dialogue when older teenage boy coaxes younger teenage girl to let him fuck her up the ass , speaking variations on "" it won't hurt ! "" 
for a scene that seems to last at least ten minutes . 
this is done almost entirely in an unbroken master shot that suggests unimaginative camerawork more than unblinking voyeurism . 
they dare you to look away , without possessing the courage of allowing the children to actually sound like children ( they're mouthpieces for writer-director catherine breillat's one-note clinical politics ) . 
rather than show an even-handed evaluation of the rigors of hormonal change , breillat ( previously responsible for the unwatchable romance ) wants to indulge in her hour of hate . 
life is pain , highness . 
get used to it . 
she'd find keen bedfellows in neil labute and todd solondz , other sultans of misanthropy who lack the balls to be earnest or honest . 
for children , dealing with trauma and pain is complicated . 
to bury that in sarcasm and academic theory feels cheap . 
these would-be auteurs ( more like hauteurs ) haven't earned the right to display suffering because they don't layer it in emotional truth ( as mike leigh does throughout naked and david lynch in several key scenes of blue velvet ) . 
of course , there i go again comparing her to all these ( better ) male directors . 
i don't care . 
gender be damned , she's borderline inept . 
braced for a knee-jerk reaction from the art house crowd ( mortified shock or compulsory applause will suffice ) , writer-director catherine breillat may well accomplish her mission to get a rise out of people . 
don't be fooled . 
this grotesque oversimplification of awkward forays into passion may be quickly forgotten , remembered only as cold , boring , philosophically arid , and incompetently photographed . 
the hyperviolent climactic sequence proves so extraordinarily misguided that i honestly wondered whether breillat had thrown in an impromptu dream sequence . 
twelve years old , a bundle of dough with a sour pout , the superb ana ? s reboux plays the titular fat girl with a thousand yard stare and a frumpy insouciance . 
 ( her character is also named ana ? s . ) 
sitting at the table morosely slurping down a banana split , her presence is grounded and heartbreaking . 
it's a pity breillat never finds anything for her to do other than get defensive against her evil storybook sister , 15-year old elena ( roxane mesquida ) , for bringing a transitory boyfriend home to their shared room . 
in this summer cottage , ana ? s has no escape from her position as stoic bedside observer to elena's depressing confusion of cheap sex with romance . 
the boy in question , a smug italian college kid named fernando ( libero de rienzo ) is a real piece of work , claiming that the experience is a declaration of love while begging for a blowjob . 
ana ? s doesn't receive any warmth from her largely absent parents , who join elena in making fun of her hefty girth . 
she finds pleasure in wandering the beach alone , singing songs to herself , and swimming in the pool kissing the metal railing and pretending that it's her paramour . 
reboux commands the screen , but there's only so much a child actress can do recounting pretentious monologues to herself . 
if one is inspired to rescue this young performer and place her in a better movie , at least she fares better than the other young talent asked to perform in intense love scenes that might feel justified if they weren't so dramatically misguided . 
this 83-minute vignette is something of a horror show , but breillat saves her nastiest poison for the very end . 
on the long ride home punctuated by an uncomfortable silence between family members , gigantic trucks swerve by as the hour grows late . 
will mommy fall asleep at the wheel ? 
perhaps . 
or maybe there's something deadlier around the corner , lying in wait to pounce upon the unsuspecting fat girl . 
what's more , she might even like it . 
with the intent of being unfair and unpredictable , placing her heroine in the most diabolical of corners in order to face up to impending adulthood , breillat's extreme flourish of sadistic tawdriness reveals her as a master purveyor of contempt . 
fat girl is a bitter pill indeed . 
aka ? ma soeur ! 
screened at the 2001 new york film festival ( feature coming soon ) . 
"
"-1"," "" marie couldn't talk , "" paulie , the parrot star of his own movie , tells us about the daughter in his original family . 
 "" dad couldn't listen . 
and mom couldn't cope , so they got rid of me . "" 
paulie , the autobiography of a talking , not merely a mimicking , parrot , has jay mohr in the lead role of the bird - the voice , not the body - and as the minor character of benny , a small-time crook who uses paulie to pull off small scams like stealing twenties from atms . 
as the parrot , mohr is delightful when director john roberts allows him to cut up . 
benny , on the other hand , is a character you've seen a thousand times before , and mohr brings nothing new to that role . 
roberts's deliberately slow pacing of laurie craig's script lends a subtle sweetness to its humor but creates some definite problems . 
when a kids' movie wants to mosey along , watch out . 
if the material is not crisp and perfectly composed , beauty can sometimes dissolve into tedium . 
so it is with paulie . 
when they let their bird do his stand-up comedy routines , the show hums and the audience roars . 
too often , however , a sleepy silence ensues among the viewers as they wait for the story to pickup again . 
tony shalhoub , the smart-mouthed chef from big night , plays misha , a recent russian immigrant to the u . s . he had been a teacher of literature at home , but now he makes his living as a janitor in the animal research lab to which paulie has been taken for study . 
although misha gets a few nice lines ( "" i'm russian . 
i like long stories . "" ) , 
his somber part seems designed only to elicit our sympathy . 
besides paulie , the only character worth noting - other than 2 cute small parts played by cheech marin and gina rowlands - is the speech-impaired marie , played in a precious performance by cinematic newcomer , 5-year-old hallie kate eisenberg . 
naturally enchanting , she gives the picture genuine heart . 
the bad news is that her part is confined to the first half . 
the best scenes have the bird dancing and strutting to show off his comedic skills . 
when marie's family gets a cat , for example , the bird , who hasn't wanted to learn how to fly until then , takes an instant interest in soaring . 
tricking the cat while insulting him at the same time , paulie calls him a stupid hairball . 
their rapid physical antics add to the humor of the situation . 
it's good quality sitcom material but performed by animals . 
when one of the humans without much of a voice begins to sing , paulie cringes . 
 "" i'm a bird , "" he explains with his frequently subtle humor . 
 "" i have a small brain , and it's about to explode . "" 
the movie contains rich doses of john debney's dreamy music . 
with heavy use of a solo violin , he keeps reinforcing the film's heart-warming themes . 
and when paulie finally takes off in flight , the orchestra comes up loud and strong with cymbals clashing . 
 "" it's a long story , "" says paulie . 
 "" it's the only kind he knows , "" reflects misha . 
and the motion picture , which runs the standard length for a kids' movie , still feels too long . 
the best parts are enthralling , but then there are all of those dead spots in-between . 
paulie is a movie that never quite lives up to its promise but manages to charm nevertheless . 
paulie runs 1 : 32 . 
it is raged pg for a few mild profanities and would be fine for all ages . 
my son , jeffrey , age 9 , gave the movie * * with his biggest complaint being that there wasn't enough action . 
he thought paulie was funny , and the actress that played marie was quite good . 
his friend sam , almost 9 , thought the movie was "" awesome , excellent , "" and gave it * * * * . 
he thought paulie was good , but he didn't believe the way marie's speech impediment was acted . 
"
"-1","well , here's a distasteful , thoroughly amateurish item that , surprisingly , was actually a box-office hit at the time of its release . 
after just viewing the film for the first time , my primary question is how did anyone with an iq north of 35 enjoy this movie ? 
it is cheap , idiotic , unfunny , and not nearly as raunchy as i had heard it was . 
at least some smut would have livened things up a bit . 
 "" porky's , "" tells the story ( if you can call it that ) of four clueless high school buddies , pee wee ( dan monahan ) , billy ( mark herrier ) , tommy ( wyatt knight ) , and mickey ( roger wilson ) , whom desperately want to get laid . 
women , for the most part , are a mystery to them ( and in this movie , they are to the audience , as well , since all of them are written and acted as if they are aliens from a different planet ) . 
their plan is sidetracked , however , when they venture out to a smarmy strip bar named porky's , which they are able to get into using fake id's . 
after they pay the manager one-hundred bucks for three hookers , they are played a trick on and find themselves being dumped into the swamp below the building . 
for these four teenage guys , this means war on porky's . 
 "" porky's , "" ultimately manages to fail on almost every possible level . 
as a teenage sex-romp , it is not wild or amusing enough . 
as a comedy , all of the jokes are predictable and fall flat . 
as a look back at the 1950's , it is something , i suspect , most people from that era would want to bury deep in a grave . 
and as a revenge movie , it is a crushing bore . 
one of the most offensive things about , "" porky's , "" is how jaw-droppingly inaccurate the film is about teenagers . 
the four main characters are not even attempted to be developed as characters , and we learn very little about them , except that they are horny and would probably feel more comfortable in a preschool . 
that sure is revealing information . 
the female characters fare even worse under the inaudacious screenplay and direction by bob clark . 
the women are all treated as objects or comedy props , rather than real people . 
for example , the two gym teachers , mrs . balbricker ( nancy parsons ) and honeywell ( kim cattrall ) , only have one purpose , and that is to be made fun of . 
mrs . balbricker is a gruff , no-holds-barred , overwight woman who will not stand for any foolishness , and , in one particularly embarrassing scene for all involved , honeywell has sex with a coach and barks like a dog . 
there is no way to tell if parsons or cattrall are servicable actresses ( even though i have the suspicion they are not ) , but one thing is for sure : they are asked to do things in this film that are not at all funny , only humiliating . 
to prove how out-of-touch this so-called comedy is , compare it to other more serious 80's films about teenagers , and it looks even worse in comaprison . 
any of the john hughes pictures , such as 1984's "" sixteen candles , "" or , 1985's "" the breakfast club , "" put , "" porky's , "" at an even greater shame . 
those films actually dealt with serious teen matters , but remained a great deal funnier , thanks to their bright and truthful writing . 
and heck , if , "" porky's , "" wanted to be a teenage sex movie , i'd take 1982's "" fast times at ridgemont high , "" or 1982's "" the last american virgin , "" over this any day of the week . 
director bob clark is not a bad director . 
two years after he made , "" porky's , "" he directed the nostalgic holiday classic , "" a christmas story . "" 
i would forgive him for this misfire , in fact , if it wasn't for the fact that he also wrote the screenplay . 
just the thought that someone would actually sit down to write such a piece of garbage , and think that it was actually a film worth releasing unto the unsuspecting world , is actually a whole lot funnier than anything in , "" porky's . "" 
"
"-1","okay , i just don't know why , but i seem to be getting this diversion to disney-made real-life actors movies . . . as 
well as real-life acting tim allen movies . 
i couldn't even make it through "" the santa clause , "" so why did i even see this ? 
 ( just to make an idle point , i did like "" toy story , "" but that was good ) also , i have this aversion to bad french farces , and if they remake them into american films . 
well , this is my excuse : it was prom night , i'm not a prom person , my best friend and i impulsively went to the drive-ins where they were playing "" grosse pointe blank "" - wouldn't mind seeing it again - but i had to suffer through this first . 
i agreed to go . 
ugh . 
in all fairness , i can say that at least this inane plot wasn't dreamed by an american . 
it was originally a french film released in america under the pseudonym of "" little indian , big city "" ( french title - "" un indien dans la ville "" ) . 
i stayed away from it like it was limburgher , and according to roger ebert , that was a good idea . 
but i can only imagine how bad that must be if this is an improvement . 
the stupid plot concerns a father who just learns he has a son from his current marriage . 
let me clarify : his wife ( jobeth williams ) left him years ago , and i mean years - around 13 or so - and went to an island in the carribean or something . 
he goes to her to finally get the divorce papers signed so he can remarry this . . . thing 
 ( played with an emphasis on over-done by lolita davidovitch , who is usually good ) . 
she tells him he has a son as his boatman goes off . 
he meets him , he has a weird name ( mimi seku , i think . . . or 
as the bad joke goes - "" mitsubishi "" - laugh track cue ) , he knows english , they fish , more bad jokes , pirhanna joke , the kid has a pet spider , he makes a promise to take him to the statue of liberty . . . you 
know the drill . 
now this is where the plot complicates ( well , complicates for this one , at least ) : the fish-out-of-water joke switches from tim allen on an island to his island son in new york city . 
tim is a stock broker and his coffee profits are plunging because his laptop died and he wasn't able to communicate with his assistant or whatever he is - martin short . 
a russian mob is tossed into the plot somewhere ( how come in every hokey french import , there is a mob ? ! ) 
tim learns a lesson of life from his son and we discover that cellular phones can operate on an island even though there are no sockets to recharge the batteries . 
the story is crap , the jokes are hokey and not really funny , and the actors have to struggle to make it interesting . 
but the material is so fowl that even a rewrite by quentin tarantino couldn't help it . 
the whole time , i kept thinking that a grown person had to think this up and several more grown people had to do this . 
at the end of filming , did they all scream out , "" we've made a great movie , guys ! "" 
i sure hope not . 
big question to get from this film : why would someone want to remake what was billed as one of the worst films of all time if they're just going to do it the exact same way ? 
huh ? 
my ( for some of the actors' names and a joke or two that made me chuckle , i guess . . . okay , 
so i really feel bad for it , so i only gave it one star ) 
"
"-1"," "" the beach "" is a structurally confusing film that i can only describe has having multiple personality disorder . 
every forty minutes of this two-hour film begins with a new theme , virtually discarding what has been set up in the preceding act . 
it starts off purposefully as a film about an innocent man seeking new thrills in a dangerous environment . 
but then in the second act , the mood of the film abruptly changes and it becomes a story about a love triangle on an idyllic island paradise that evokes visions of "" blue lagoon "" . 
forty minutes later , the mood changes once more , and it becomes a dumbed down version of "" lord of the flies "" where an isolated community is discovered , where their moral code touts maintaining a sense of bliss at all costs . 
by the time it's over , you can only scratch your head and wonder what this film was really meant to be about . 
the main character of "" the beach "" is angst-ridden richard ( leonardo dicaprio ) . 
he travels to the netherworld of bangkok where back alley merchants push their wares upon unsuspecting tourists and scantily clad women brazenly ask if you're looking for a good time . 
richard's voice-over tells the audience that he has come to this place because he is bored with his life and feels that one way to reinvigorate himself is to let go of the familiar and to enter into a world of the unknown . 
this seedy environment is just what richard is looking for . 
he checks into a fleabag hotel where he meets the crazed daffy ( robert carlisle ) . 
he seems like a raving lunatic , obviously high from heavy drug use and looking as if he is afflicted with some sort of psychosis . 
though his jagged behavior would distress most of us , richard listens to him as he speaks of a mysterious island that contains the most perfect beach that anyone has ever seen . 
moreover , the island itself flourishes with enough hemp plants that can make a small city high for life . 
captivated by the idea , he asks two other hotel guests to join him on his journey . 
they are worldly etienne and the alluring francoise , who have also come to thailand for reasons similar to richard's . 
once they finally arrive at this paradise , however , the mood of the story shifts to richard's growing desire for francoise . 
this particular plot point is weak at best because there is absolutely no question in my mind that francoise will wind up with richard . 
etienne is about as exciting as fluffy , white sand . 
it's odd that etienne never sees this coming , but paradise has a way of hiding potential threats just out of view . 
and once the three stumble across the hidden community ( mood shift imminent ) , more events transpire that depict its hidden dangers . 
for example , there are marijuana fields close by patrolled by armed guards . 
and the lagoon in which they swim invites the occasional shark . 
there are several ideas that are introduced in "" the beach "" and each one could merit its own feature-length film . 
there's the man vs . nature angle , the love triangle angle , and the utopia-gone-awry angle . 
but the film meanders so tremendously that its entire purpose becomes blurred . 
dicaprio , as a result , has an almost impossible time of trying to embody the different states of mind that he and the film goes through . 
consequently , the audience has an equally difficult time trying to keep up . 
"
"-1","the most absurd remake of 1998 ? 
it's a toss up between gus van sant's psycho and mighty joe young , the new disney picture based on the old rko picture . 
 ( i knew i was in trouble when a polished , computer-generated version of that famous rko logo appeared before the head credits . ) 
there is no great demand for another giant ape movie-make that ape movie , period . 
 ( witness the quick deaths of buddy , born to be wild and congo . ) 
and while this latest entry is inoffensive and watchable , it's also an assembly line product through and through , lacking the charm and unpredictability of the jungle serials that partly inspired it . 
theron is jill young : as a young girl in the wilds of africa , she befriended a baby gorilla after both their mothers were slain by poachers . 
that baby gorilla ( nicknamed joe ) grows to immense proportions , and adult jill basically bides her time looking after him , playing hide and seek with him and guarding him against poachers . 
enter conservationist greg ( paxton ) , who convinces jill to move with joe to california , where they can protect him better in a controlled environment . 
joe is restless at first ; no sooner does he finally settle in to the new place than those nasty poachers show up in l . a . , plotting joe's demise . 
suffice it to say , the movie could have been called "" joe : ape in the city . "" 
theron ( so good in devil's advocate ) and paxton ( so good in the recent a simple plan ) are fine actors , but not fine enough to transcend the material , a paint-by-numbers script from the hack writers of superman iv and mercury rising . 
the plot arguably borrows more from steven spielberg's the lost world than the 1949 original , with the computer-generated t-rex-i mean , joe-wreaking havoc on the busy streets for an encore ; the storytelling becomes especially lazy during this final third , with jill shouting , "" look , joe's headed for the movie theatre ! "" 
followed by a shot of joe scaling mann's chinese theater ; a moment later , jill shouts again something like "" look , joe's headed for an amusement park ! "" and what do you know , there's joe at the pallisades carnival , scaring the bejesus out of innocent thrillseekers . 
the seams of last-minute edits to mighty joe young show-unrelated scenes are patched together with quick dissolves . 
the movie sure feels uneven , regardless : act two is underdeveloped , while a little of joe smashing cars in act three goes a long , long way . 
underwood ( tremors , speechless ) was perhaps not the director for the job ; even the plentiful , untamed landscape looks dull in his hands . 
 ( capturing the beauty of nature requires more than his point and shoot style . ) 
i did enjoy certain sequences , especially the demoliton of a black-tie dinner sequence ; and the prologue , however implausible , is touching . 
 ( as a tyke , joe acts just like e . t . ) rick baker's make-up effects and puppetry are outstanding , the real star of the show-yet , for all its technical flawlessness , the creature remains too grumpy and homicidal to love . 
 ( his facial expressions are variations on a scowl . ) 
to be fair , i saw mighty joe young in a cinema packed with wailing children-it's a wonder i was able to decipher the dialogue . 
it's certainly not a film for very young kids-intense fighting scenes may scare them , while any time joe's not on camera may bore them to tears . 
 ( note : older boys are more likely to be dazzled by theron's colourful array of tank tops . ) 
i suspect bland mighty joe young is passable entertainment for a family outing , but they sure don't make ? em like they used to . 
"
"-1","in 1990 , the surprise success an unheralded little movie called ghost instantly rescued the moribund careers of its trio of above-the-title stars , patrick swayze , demi moore , and whoopi goldberg . 
eight years later , moore and goldberg's careers aren't exactly thriving , but they have had their share of screen successes since ; the same can't be said of swayze , who has just added yet another turkey to his resume with the aptly named black dog . 
forget the mortal kombat movies--this trucksploitation flick is the closest the movies has come to video games . 
good truck driver jack crews ( swayze ) must drive a cargo of illegal firearms from atlanta to new jersey . 
along the way , jack and his crew of three run into a number of obstacles--such as a highway weigh station , evil truckers , and deadly uzi-firing motorcyclists . 
every so often , like at the end of a video game "" level "" or "" stage , "" the main baddie pops up : red ( meat loaf , fresh from the triumph of spice world ) , who wants to steal the cache of guns . 
just in case you forget his name or have trouble keeping track of who's driving what , all of red's vehicles , be it a pickup or a big rig , are painted--you guessed it--red . 
i could go into more of the plot specifics ( such as jack's dream of having a nice home with his family , the past trauma that sent him to prison and cost him his trucking license , the fbi/atf crew tracking the cargo ) , but they are of little importance . 
all that matters to director kevin hooks and writers william mickelberry and dan vining are the obstacles jack confronts in his drive from point a to point b . but they fail at even this modest goal , for none of the highway chaos , as credibly staged as it is , is terribly interesting , let alone exciting . 
once you've seen a couple of trucks bang against each other or a big rig explode the first time , you've seen it every time . 
as dreary as black dog is as an entertainment , the saddest part about the film has nothing to do with what shows up onscreen ; it's that swayze has to reduce himself to such work . 
while far from the best of actors , he is certainly not horrible , and he is a charismatic presence . 
i don't know if it's his judgment or the dearth of quality job offers that leads him to involve himself with bombs such as black dog . 
regardless , if he continues on this career track , could a tv series be far behind ? 
"
"-1","these days , we are witnessing the deluge of films based on old , cult tv shows . 
most of the times , the fans of these shows shudder thinking what could hollywood hacks of the present do with the memories of their past . 
but , some five or six years ago , there weren't that many movies and the trend didn't look that depressing . 
so , the people who , like the author of this review , grew up watching flintstones , popular 1960s animated series about "" modern stone age "" family , weren't particularly worried when the word came about live action remake . 
after all , the producer behind the project was steven spielberg and , if anything else , at least the special effects would be good . 
the plot revolves about flintstones , family set in fictious stone age "" town "" of bedrock , whose members enjoy the lifestyle of 1950s middle class america . 
fred flinstone ( john goodman ) works in the quarry , and one day he helps his best friend and neighbour barney rubble ( rick moranis ) and his wife betty ( rosie o'donnell ) to adopt a baby . 
to return the favour , barney switches his results of aptitude test with fred , and , based on that , fred gets well-paid job in management . 
but , of course , this is just a sham - corrupt official cliff vandercave ( kyle maclachlan ) and his sultry secretary sharon stone ( halle berry ) need a scapegoat for their embezzlement scheme . 
in the meantime , fred's wife wilma ( elizabeth perkins ) must face her mother ( elizabeth taylor ) who can't stand fred . 
on the superficial level , the flintstones did the excellent job in bringing the animated series to life . 
computer effects are flawless , and the costumes , settings and other details are authentic for all the fans of the show . 
unfortunately , problems with this film start with inadequate casting - rick moranis is too thin for the role of barney , while the cartoon betty used to be much skinnier than rosie o'donnell . 
but the greatest problem of all is plot , or to be precise , the lack of plot . 
some thirty six screenwriters made sure that the plot of the film is lame , original characters one-dimensional , and many elements of the story , like embezzlement and inter-office politics , totally incomprehensible for the little children , the main targeted audience of this film . 
result is almost unwatchable mess , occasionally saved mostly by excellent acting ( elizabeth perkins was right on mark as wilma ) and one of the classic example of mortal hollywood disease known as "" high concept "" . 
after great hype , movie quickly sank into oblivion and the fans of the show returned to the animated version . 
all in all , film isn't that bad , but only the hard core fans and nostalgics can find more than guilty pleasure in it . 
"
"-1","after 1993's "" falling down , "" i hoped that joel schumacher would mature into a great director . 
since then he has offered us two so-so adaptations of john grisham novels ( "" the client "" and "" a time to kill "" ) and two batman movies that lowered the standards of that franchise . 
although these disappointments dampened my enthusiasm for schumacher's potential , the publicity for his latest release , "" 8mm , "" raised new hope . 
it promised to be something unusual . 
it wasn't . 
the plot goes like this : tom welles ( nicolas cage ) is a private eye who is hired by a wealthy woman , allegorically named mrs . christian ( myra carter ) , to investigate an 8mm movie found among her late husband's belongings . 
the movie appears to be a snuff film in which a teenage girl is raped and murdered by a man in a leather mask ( who reminds me of bane in schumacher's "" batman & robin "" ) . 
because murders can be realistically simulated in movies , mrs . christian wants tom to discover if the girl is alive or dead . 
by combing through missing persons reports , tom finds the girl's name and tracks her to los angeles . 
with the aid of max california ( joaquin phoenix ) , a video store clerk ( and another symbolic name ) , tom wanders through the underworld of pornography in search of snuff . 
the plot bears an obvious resemblance to paul schrader's "" hardcore , "" in which a father goes deeper and deeper into the industries of porn and sex to find his missing daughter . 
both films are modeled on dante's "" the inferno , "" of course ; "" 8mm "" makes that connection overly obvious by casting max as virgil and having him constantly tell tom that they were heading toward a meeting with the devil . 
 "" hardcore "" is a much more subtle and meaningful film . 
 "" 8mm "" had a lot of promise . 
in its better moments it's an examination of violence as entertainment and of the beast within even a nice guy like tom . 
one moment of the first sort : when we first meet max he's reading truman capote's "" in cold blood "" underneath the cover of a porn novel . 
 "" in cold blood "" was the father of the true-crime genre , which is the literary equivalent of snuff films . 
max promises that we will see examples of the second theme when he tells tom , "" dance with the devil and the devil don't change ; the devil changes you . "" 
tom does change-i'll let you discover the specifics for yourself-but not permanently . 
schumacher and screenwriter andrew kevin walker didn't have the guts to take tom so far down the dark tunnel that he couldn't come back . 
 ( walker's "" seven "" did a much better job on that theme by refusing to compromise ) . 
cage tries hard to pull it off , but the script doesn't give him enough to work with . 
phoenix walks away with the movie-he's smart , charming , and funny . 
other cast members include "" fargo "" 's peter stormare camping it up as porn auteur dino velvet and "" the sopranos "" 's james gandolfini as a soulless porn merchant who pushes tom too far . 
in the last analysis , since "" 8mm "" falls short of its pretensions and its promise , its just another private eye story in the raymond chandler/ross macdonald tradition of having the detective uncover the depravity behind the glossy facade of wealth and privilege . 
however , unlike other predictable fare in the genre-last year's "" twilight , "" for example- "" 8mm "" is especially disappointing because it could have been much more than it is . 
"
"-1","i think of i know what you did last summer as the movie that scream and scream 2 could have been . 
mind you , though , i mean this in the worst possible way . 
i know what you did last summer is a typical slasher flic without the smarts of the scream's . 
as a result , it's even worse than some of your better campy horror pictures ( see nightmare on elm street ) because it thinks it's about thirty times smarter than it is . 
based on a teen book of the same name and , disappointingly , adapted by scream scribe kevin williamson , i know what you did last summer begins with appropriately angsty modern rock music combined with some startling cinematography of a cliff along the ocean and an angsty sort sitting at the top . 
the appropriate mood being set ( this is angst-horror for the 90's ) , we cut over to the july 4th parade in a small north carolina town . 
from there , we see the blond , female protagonist , helen shivers ( woodenly played by sarah michelle geller ) , getting crowned croaker queen as the blond male "" hero , "" barry cox ( woodenly played by ryan phillipe ) , and matched brunette pair of protagonists , julie james and ray bronson ( woodenly played by party of five's jennifer love hewitt and freddie prinze jr . , respectively ) cheer her on . 
after getting drunk at a party , going to a beach to wittily discuss urban legend and indulge in some foreshadowing , and having some meaningful sex ( if you believe what the characters say ) , the four run down some guy crossing the windy cliff road at night . 
his face is mangled so they can't tell who it is , and they come to the decision to dump him in the ocean so as to not ruin any of their future chances for success in the world . 
cut to one year later . 
the lives of our protagonists have gone from annoying to bad . 
main brunette female , the bright one of the bunch , has been plagued with guilt and almost failed out of college . 
blond female has forfeited her dreams of starring on guiding light , and now works at the family store in town . 
brunette male is a fisherman , living off the land . 
blond male has become a complete jerk and quarterback on some college football team . 
then , predictably , their past comes back to haunt them . 
it all begins with an irrational murder , followed by some taunting of protagonists by the mysterious killer , bad acting by a good actress ( anne heche ) , an improbable plot , bad acting by the main bad actors , some more killing , concluding in a climactic scene , mostly climactic in the relief at the end of the movie . 
all the while , the actors and actresses spout off bad lines , and main brunette male does his best keanu reeves imitation . 
not that the movie was without pleasure . 
count the illogical plot twists and bad lines for some fun . 
mostly , though , note the costumes of main females and how trendily unattractive they make the otherwise eye-catching pair look . 
"
"-1"," "" nothing more than a high budget masturbation fantasy "" 
showgirls ( nc-17 ) - contains graphic nudity , profanity , sexual situations and violence . 
some people , however , keep their clothes on . 
you do not watch porn films for their intellectual values , nor do you write reviews on them . 
that's why this review will be short . 
it seems that this film will end up in the porn section when it hits the video stores . 
there is no story , script , point or acting . 
only naked bodies , which is exactly the point . 
here is the so called plot : nomi , the 23-year-old with a dark past as a hooker , has hitchhiked from somewhere back east to perform in a show where a dancer doesn't wear much more than a light coating of powder and a big , fake smile . 
no one is twisting nomi's arm . 
no one is holding her grandmother hostage . 
she wants to do this . 
and that is what she is doing till the end credits . 
so what's the problem then ? 
what's the point ? 
what's the film about ? 
is there anyone whose aspirations could inspire less sympathy ? 
this film can be described in one sentence : obscene level of incompetence , excessive stupidity in the story line , gross negligence of the viewer's intelligence , a prurient interest in the quick buck . 
believe me , after an hour with these characters , acting and script , you'll start hoping for someone to kill somebody . 
elizabeth berkley makes a laughable try as the heroine of this film , that is bad even for eszterhas' script . 
her character is the only one that is at least half written and she could really have done better . 
her character denies the fact that she is a whore for the industry , selling her body to the hungry eyes of the horny public . 
 "" i am not a whore ! 
i am a dancer "" , she screams , but does it in such an over dramatized way that you'll start laughing . 
in fact the acting in "" showgirls "" brings terrible to a new and previously unknown level . 
not one single achievement , besides the conventional cinematography , is worth mentioning . 
it is a total waste of time and money . 
there is not a single moment of what you might call intelligence . 
the dialogue is structured of ancient stereotypes and cliches lined up one after another . 
its attempt to even imagine to have half a brain results in a catastrophe . 
 "" in my films , "" writes director paul verhoeven ( 'basic instinct' , 'total recall' ) , "" i hold the mirror up to life . "" 
well , excuse me ? 
his attempt to go behind the scenes of las vegas , and as he put it "" show the naked truth "" , is simplified and unreal . 
occasionally , between his collection of mistakes and logical irrationalities , screenwriter joe eszterhas ( the creator of some of the worst screenplays in hollywood history ) inserts some lines of deep morality , that sound something like this : "" hey , i see you . 
i see that you're hiding "" - "" from what ? "" 
- "" from you "" . 
yes , and even the only decent line in this film : "" nomi is what las vegas is all about "" can't save 'showgirls' from going under . 
it's a strange phenomena . 
it's not erotic , because it lacks sensuality . 
not dramatic , because it lacks the acting . 
and not intelligent because it lacks a story . 
it is simply verhoven's bad excuse for making pornography . 
you want to see naked women ? 
bare breasts ? 
full frontals ? 
it's nothing wrong with that . 
but in that case i suggest that you rent a porn film in your local video store , and not waste time surviving through eszterhas' pathetic dialogue . 
b qualities , while it's only a high budget porn-film . 
"
"-1","one of the 90s' most unwelcome thriller trends returns from the grave : it's the "" ___ from hell "" movie ! 
starting in the early nineties , we were subjected to nearly every conceivable combination of relationships-from-hell ! 
there were boyfriends from hell , friendly neighborhood cops from hell , nannies from hell , and even secretaries from hell . 
but hush has found an old standby that somehow was forgotten in the rush : the mother-in-law from hell ! ! ! ! ! 
the mother-in-law in question is martha , played by jessica lange . 
she has been single-handedly running the family horse farm , kilronan . 
her son , jackson ( johnathon schaech ) and his girlfriend , helen ( gwyneth paltrow ) , live in new york , and have no intention to move back down south to the rural kilronan . 
but those intentions are about to change . 
you see , martha lives by manipulation . 
she has used it in years past to breed many championship horses . 
now , she believes she can use it to breed herself a grandson . 
though at first , helen finds martha charming , soon she is caught in the domineering martha's web of deception . 
it's hard to understand why nobody ever wises up to martha' schemes . 
as written , most of the characters in the film must be very slow witted . 
but then , the film even treats the audience like idiots . 
it tries to get away with things ( like leaving a critical piece of evidence in a rather unlikely place ) without even batting an eye . 
then again an audience which accepts characters as shallow as these isn't one that's likely to question details . 
jessica lange's martha is the only semi-developed character in the film , and she applies her talents to redeem it as much as she can . 
a character that could have been simply awful is merely groan-worthy . 
gwyneth paltrow doesn't have much to build upon , as helen's only character trait seems to be "" daughter-in-law "" . 
still , she fares better than johnathon schaech , whose character is so nonexistent , he's inexplicably missing for much of the film . 
still , there have been much worse "" ____ from hell "" films . 
even with its paper-thin characters and ludicrous setups , hush manages to create a few thrills in a color-by-numbers fashion . 
you know what's coming , but occasionally the film will deliver a shock or two . 
the old formulas are around for a reason , but that doesn't mean they taste fresh . 
"
"-1","mugshot ( director/writer/cinematographer/editor : matt mahurin ; cast : belinda becker ( stella ) , michael williams ( rumor ) , robert knepper ( joe/chris ) , robert walker ( random ) , willie lassic ( young brother of rumor ) , maxine joiner ( rumor's mother ) ; runtime : 87 ; mortal films ; 1995 ) 
reviewed by dennis schwartz 
a bleak indie film about a stolen identity . 
there's not much more to this visually stylish film than what meets the eye , as it relies on shock to tell its story of a prolonged vicious mugging . 
it falls into the category of being a pretentious art-house film , leaving a bitter taste in one's mouth as it stereotypes its characters and unintentionally further inflames the racial issues . 
it tries to make a heavy-handed point about disenfranchised black youths trapped by their environment , with their only way out being crime . 
but the story is so filled with violence and its nyc setting looks like hell , that it's hard to enjoy this film and to follow what the logic in the story is supposed to mean . 
the relationship between the black mugger and his white victim is a cloudy one , which the film never determines what it wants to say about it . 
matt mahurin is virtual one-man crew in putting this film together ( director/writer /cinematographer/editor ) , who is a still photographer in his day job . 
the film works best as a visually challenging piece , as each shot looks like a photograph carefully telling the story unfolding . 
a white photographer ( robert knepper ) is mugged by a black gang while he's on a freelance assignment to take a photo shoot of harlem at night . 
he becomes a victim of amnesia and his head is bloodied as he's left in a deserted harlem building , as the gang leaves him for dead ; but , one of the muggers , rumor ( michael williams ) , comes back and pretends to help him . 
he's a would-be photographer , who keeps a scrapbook entitled mugshots in the project apartment he shares with his mother and younger brother . 
keeping his victim in the dark about who he is by calling him joe and not telling him what's happening , he becomes the photographer for a few days . 
he enters the photographer's stylish greenwich village apartment and steals his expensive camera , and decides to hold the mugging vic for ransom when he finds out he has a black girlfriend , stella ( belinda becker ) . 
she's the only one in the film who could act . 
the film is stuck with a clumsy dialogue and an overuse of symbolism , as it ends with nothing more to tell after the shock and the violent situation it created except to beat it into the ground . 
it could only be commended for how appealing the film looks , as if it's a scrapbook of still photos put together to celebrate a mugging . 
"
"-1","i can imagine how good krippendorf's tribe must have looked on paper . 
it does not surprise me in the least that a group of extremely talented actors , led by the great richard dreyfuss and a good director ( todd holland ) , all wanted to make this film . 
in fact , it is only the expertise by which this excruciatingly bad script has been executed that keeps me from suggesting that you stay as far away from krippendorf's tribe as possible . 
in retrospect , i can imagine how bad this film could have been . 
i shudder at the possibilities of awfulness had it starred an actor less able than dreyfuss . 
dreyfuss plays james krippendorf , an anthropologist who is granted $100 , 000 by his university to find an undiscovered tribe in new guinea . 
halfway into his two-year expedition , his wife ( apparently ) dies . 
i say apparently because when or how she dies is never truly established . 
later , we find out that much of the grant money was spent on big-screen tvs and other such pleasures . 
so , when krippendorf finds out what happens to professors who do not use their grant money wisely , he decides to construct an elaborate lie . 
he makes his own tribe , using his three children as actors in a video . 
he simply makes up certain incredible facts about this tribe ( which he calls the shelmickedmu ) . 
audiences at krippendorf's lectures are amazed by his findings that the shelmickedmu practice circumcision . 
and proof that the typical family unit is led by a single father is truly amazing to the anthropological community . 
like all films like this , the lie becomes more and more complex , and the suspense is generated with us wondering at what point it is all going to fall out from under our hero . 
dreyfuss is a funny , talented man , and he is funny in this film . 
he has lots of positive energy and , unlike most comical actors , really manages to play people like this realistically . 
this film also requires a lot of physical humor that i've never seen dreyfuss perform , and he does a great job . 
jenna elfman , who plays veronica mecilli , a scientist who wants in on krippendorf's work , is also very funny and appealing here . 
and the kid actors are great , as well . 
but we're talking about the script from hell . 
this is one of those stories that requires such extreme suspension of disbelief that they might as well have established that the story just takes place in an alternate universe where things like this can happen . 
but the ridiculousness of the story is not really what is so bad about it . 
all the cliches and the irritating plot devices could have easily been overcome by dreyfuss and crew . 
no , the script is plagued with so many clueless stereotypes and mean-spirited characters that i was in disbelief as i watched . 
furthermore , the manor in which all of this material is covered up is truly shameless . 
take , for instance , the scene in which krippendorf gets veronica drunk so he can tape them having sex . 
they get all decked out in the tribe getup , complete with paint to darken their skin . 
krippendorf does this because he needs footage of the mating rituals of his tribe . 
now , i saw this scene coming from a mile away , but i said to myself , "" no , that would be far too tasteless . 
there's no way they'll do that . . . oh 
god ! "" 
they did do it . 
it's there . 
i was almost more appalled by the fact that this didn't bother the other audience members with whom i saw this film . 
i found it deplorable . 
and when krippendorf is forced to admit that he did it , he simply apologizes without the slightest hint of conviction in his voice . 
the film is filled with scenes like these . 
they not only insult the audience , but they insult the types of people that the film portrays . 
it would take some truly professional work to create videos convincing enough to fool an entire community of scientists , yet krippendorf does it easily in an afternoon . 
and watching dreyfuss stumble over a completely unprepared speech is funny and entertaining , but i think that most members of the on-screen audience would be able to see that he is making everything up as he goes . 
if i were an anthropologist , this film would insult me immensely . 
moving right along , the film plays off every stereotype our culture has ever learned regarding african tribes . 
sure , dreyfuss dressing up like a chief is really funny , and it allows for some entertaining scenes , but the heart of this material is deeply clueless as to the themes and thoughts that it provokes . 
it is because of dreyfuss as an actor that i was able to watch this film . 
his character here is not a good subject for a film because he is a shameless liar , and never once does he show any kind of penance for what he does . 
i suppose it was interesting to see the formula defied in this case , but for the purposes of good taste , i would have expected something . 
no , this man sets a terrible example for his kids and colleagues , and the writer of the film ( charlie peters ) didn't include a single scene in which krippendorf takes his kids aside and tells them that what he is doing is very bad . 
in fact , it's his eldest daughter that frequently tells him that he is doing the wrong thing , and he continually shrugs off her warnings . 
i suppose it's important to admit that this is a funny film . 
dreyfuss and elfman , and many of the contrived and insulting scenes , add up to a picture that is anything but boring . 
and if you're less serious than i , you probably will enjoy it . 
i , however , can't get past these elements . 
krippendorf's tribe is being marketed as a family comedy , but this is the kind of film that teaches the kids of our society faulty lessons that they shouldn't be learning . 
with a little more insight into its story and themes , this could have been a good movie . 
"
"-1","after a marketing windup of striking visuals and the promise of star caliber actors , mission to mars ends up throwing a whiffleball . 
fiercely unoriginal , director depalma cobbles together a film by borrowing heavily from what has gone before him . 
there are aliens similar to those in close encounters of the third kind . 
the stranded astronaut theme is reminiscent of robinson crusoe on mars . 
the astronauts encounter space flight difficulties that smack of apollo 13 . 
interior spacecraft visuals are redolent of 2001 : a space odyssey . 
instead of using these components as a launching pad to create his own movie , de palma stops right there , refusing to infuse the film with anything even remotely resembling cleverness or heart . 
mission to mars takes it's first wobbly steps at a pre-launch barbeque in which the perfunctory character introductions are done . 
during these surface scans of the characters , we learn that jim mcconnell ( sinise ) has lost his wife . 
it's a plot point revisted throughout the film with jackhammer subtlety . 
the rest of the crew exhibit a bland affability . 
there is no contentiousness , no friction to add the the dramatic tension of these men and women being confined to close quarters for an extended length of time . 
maybe depalma was going for the comraderie of the right stuff , but in that movie , the astronauts had embers of personality to warm us through the technical aspects . 
it's the year 2020 and this is nasa's first manned excursion to the red planet . 
a crew , led by luke graham ( cheadle ) , arrives on mars and quickly discovers an anomaly , which they investigate with tragic results . 
graham is able to transmit a garbled distress call back to earth . 
in response , earth sends a rescue team comprised of mcconnell , woody blake ( robbins ) , wife terri fisher ( nielsen ) and phil ohlmyer ( o'connell ) . 
obstacles are put in the crew's way and and they matter-of- factly go about solving them . 
i should say , mcconnell goes about solving them . 
time and again , mcconnell is presented as some kind of wunderkind , which wouldn't be so bad if the rest of the crew didn't come across as so aggressivelly unremarkable . 
 ( mention should be made of the misogynistic handling of fisher in a situation where the entire crew's mission and life is in mortal danger . 
on a team of professionals , she is portrayed as an emotion directed weak link . 
women serve no purpose in the movie other than to serve as a reflection of a male character's personality trait . ) 
by the time they land on mars and try to solve the mystery of what occurred , mission to mars starts laying on the cliches and stilted dialogue with a heavy brush . 
there is an adage in film to "" show , don't tell . "" 
mission to mars does both . 
repeatedly . 
characters obsessively explain the obvious , explain their actions as they are doing them , explain to fellow astronauts facts which should be fundamental knowledge to them . 
the film's conclusion is momumentally derivative , anti-climatic and unsatisying . 
as i walked out i wondered who the target audience might be for this film . 
the best i could come up with is pre-teen age boys , but in this media saturated era , this film's components would have been old hat even for them . 
i have to think what attracted such talent to this film was the lure of making a good , modern day b-movie . 
the key to such a venture is a certain depth and sincerity towards the material . 
i felt no such earnestness . 
"
"-1","some movies ask you to leave your brain at the door , some movies ask you to believe in the impossible to really have a good time . 
playing god asks just one simple , eensy , teensy thing so it can fully entertain you , it's accomplished in just four easy to follow steps : crack open your skull , scoop out your brain , squish it under your foot several times and reverse steps two and one . 
congratulations , you now have all the necessary requirements to fully enjoy a whole lot of nothing . 
some movies fail at the box office but you manage to see why the producers thought it could have been a good movie , others are simply good ideas that are badly executed . 
then there's playing god , which enters the esteemed category of movies which seem to have grown from the union of a drunk director , actors satisfied in the knowledge that this horrible flick will have no lasting impact on their careers and a bunch of rip-offs ( or homages as they like to call it ) from other , better movies that end up looking like an unflushed toilet . 
harsh ? maybe . 
justified ? 
hell yes ! 
this is a movie that is not just satisfied in ripping off other movies but feels the need to remind us of that fact every ten minutes . 
for example , a gunman bursts into a garden with the two guns in his hands firing away . 
this does look moderately kool , but the camera lingers on the actor for so long you can almost hear the director yelling : "" oooh , look look ! 
john woo ! 
two guns blazing ! 
slooooow motion ! "" 
and if that wasn't enough , you can also hear the script grunting under the effort it must take to try and make every single line of dialogue sound like something deep and meaningful like in a tarantino movie . 
poor timothy hutton gets to deliver most of the corny lines , you have to admire the effort he puts into it , this guy deserves better . 
unlike most movies this one does not suffer from "" stupid bad guy "" syndrome , just to make things a little different this time we get stupid heroes . 
example : duchovny manages to distract a bad guy by making him go into the bathroom to get some bandages . 
now the bad guy is , like , stoned , man , so he leaves his shotgun next to our hero . 
 ( term used as loosely as possible ) 
survival instincts and a good dose of common sense seems to suggest grabbing the shotgun , which our hero does , but only after contemplating it for about thirty seconds . 
even when he does grab it he seems unsure how to hold it , going so far as to actually wonder if he should place a finger near the trigger . 
mind you , i've never fired a shotgun in my life but believe you me that the bad guy would be missing most of his vital organs , be he stoned or not . 
some will argue that our hero does not have a killer instinct , the hell with that ! 
two fbi guys have just been shot in front me , along with one bad guy and the other looks like he might go ballistic at any second . 
solution ? 
boom ! 
i'll take the time to feel sorry about it later thank you very much . 
another prime example of the idiot hero syndrome : 
our boy duchovny needs to reach his girl before something bad happens to her . 
he knows the head bad guy has her on the tenth floor of a building and that he might be running into a room full of people with itchy trigger fingers . 
he still has his shotgun , bring it along you say ? 
no thanks , i'll just ditch it in the back of my car . 
and the real kicker is this : when he reaches the room and people start shooting at him he has the nerve to look surprised ! 
while we are on the subject of getting shot , why in hades were those fbi guys sitting with their backs to the door ? 
i've got no formal training but even i know you never sit with your back to the door . 
ask mr . wild bill , the first and only time he did not sit with his back to a wall cost him his life . 
this is the major problem with this movie , any mook could have thought of a hundred ways to make it better . 
is it so much to ask that hollywood actually put a little common sense into their characters ? 
for instance : 
our heroes hide at duchovny's summer home , now the bad guys could come knocking at any moment . 
ok , this time our hero does get himself a gun and has it at his side most of the time . 
but see , our hero is a drug addict and guess what ? 
he chooses now to go clean and suffer through dt . 
oh sure , he'll be really impressive when the bad guys come calling . 
going clean is really honorable of him , but i would have waited until i did not need to be conscious or being able to fire a gun . 
for an enjoyable performance by timothy hutton , plot holes the size of godzilla , getting our intelligence insulted and several "" oh come on ! "" 
moments . 
"
"-1","preposterous religious action film ( produced by the trinity broadcasting network ) about a code hidden within the text of the bible that when deciphered will lead to the end of the world ( nice of those bible authors to put a doomsday code into the most read book ever eh ? ) . 
michael york plays a millionaire diplomat who breaks the code and sets out to become god on earth and fulfill the doomsday prophecies , while casper van dien ( terribly miscast and giving an awful performance as a result ) plays the atheist motivational speaker who must stop him . 
michael ironside ( great as always , despite the silly film surrounding him ) plays a fallen priest and right hand man to michael york's character . 
here's some subtle character development you may have missed pertaining to ironside's character . 
now despite the fact that we see him murder a man in the opening scene , the filmmakers aren't quite sure if their audience will understand that he is evil . 
how do they fix that ? 
make specific efforts to show that his character is the only one in the film who smokes ! 
there are lots of ominous shots of michael ironside smoking . . . 
oooooo scary . 
but even that wasn't enough for the filmmakers apparently , as they later have to infer that ironside's character is gay ! 
it comes out of nowhere and just makes no sense . 
my main problem with this film is that , despite the silly story ( which could have been pulled off . . . 
anything can be made believable if executed correctly ) , the events of the film aren't shown with any sense of urgency or importance . 
for example , at one point york's character is declared chancellor of the world or something , and we see one brief , cheesy news report about it . 
the movie keeps telling us that the apocalypse is coming , but it never seems that way . 
there's no "" world reaction "" to anything . 
the omega code is available on dvd from goodtimes home video . 
it contains the film in the original theatrical aspect ratio of 1 . 85 : 1 , and includes the original theatrical trailer , a documentary on the making of the film , production notes , and cast and crew information . 
the documentary runs about 25 minutes and is actually surprisingly good ( it looks as though it was made for broadcast on tbn ) , and it does a comprehensive job of interviewing practically everyone in the cast and crew ( with the exception of michael ironside , unfortunately ) . 
the best thing about it is that whenever crew members are interviewed , they do an excellent job of explaining their profession and exactly what it is they do on a movie set . 
most documentaries tend to overlook this . 
doomsday expert hal lindsey is even interviewed ( you'll remember his documentary from the 1970's called the late great planet earth , where lindsey speculated that jimmy carter might actually be the antichrist ) . 
however , at the very beginning of the documentary the producers of the film managed to get on my bad side . 
when interviewed they actually have the nerve to say "" ever see raiders of the lost ark ? 
well , our film is like that ! "" 
no it isn't . 
not by a long shot . 
[pg-13] 
"
"-1"," "" america's sweethearts "" has an intriguing premise and a great cast , but it isn't nearly as edgy or funny as it should be . 
almost all the problems with the project can be traced back to co-script writer billy crystal , who shows the same lack of discipline with the screenplay that he typically displays while co-hosting "" comic relief "" charity shows with robin williams and whoopi goldberg ( two other paragons of self-indulgence ) . 
crystal ignores a simple , but crucial , rule : for a screwball comedy to work , the characters must be placed into a rigid social setting , because only in that context will their unorthodox antics be humorous . 
 "" america's sweethearts "" takes place at a press junket , where decorum must be maintained in front of the reporters . 
it's a promising set-up , but the screenplay quickly blows off the rules , thus dissipating the tension of the situation . 
by the end of the film , all the lead performers participate in a huge fight with a room full of journalists looking on , but their outbursts are only mildly amusing because the structure has been destroyed . 
john cusack and catherine zeta-jones play eddie thomas and gwen harrison , a beloved acting duo whose marriage hit the skids when gwen began seeing hector ( hank azaria ) , a spanish actor with an ego almost as pronounced as his lisp . 
of the last nine films eddie and gwen made together , six crossed the $100 million mark , but the prospects for their final effort , a space opus titled "" time over time , "" are far from rosy . 
while eddie has spent many months in a new age rest clinic fretting over the breakup , gwen's solo films have tanked . 
to make matter worse , the director of the movie ( christopher walken ) , a "" visionary "" who purchased the unabomber's cabin and had it moved to his backyard , is withholding the film from the studio , insisting that the first screening be held at the junket . 
desperate to win over the press , the studio elects to hire lee ( billy crystal ) , a recently fired publicist , to salvage the situation . 
lee hopes to turn lemons into lemonade by convincing eddie and gwen to pretend to be on the road to reconciliation . 
he enlists the help of kiki ( julia roberts ) , gwen's sister , personal assistant and whipping girl . 
what lee doesn't know is that kiki is in love with eddie , a fact that could temper her effectiveness . 
press junkets are a haven for control freaks . 
studios fly journalists in from around the world and put them up in a plush hotel , with food and drink always at hand . 
generally , on the evening of their arrival , writers are bussed to see the featured film , then ferreted straight back to the hotel . 
the next day , writers go to the studio suites and assemble in groups of five or six for roundtable interviews . 
every 30 minutes or so , a producer , director , writer or actor is brought into the room for a few minutes of questions , with a publicist hovering in the corner to keep an eye on things . 
the atmosphere is one of cordial oppression ? writers are free to ask what they want , but understand that if the studio dislikes a question , they may not be invited to future junkets . 
representatives from tv stations face even more restrictions . 
they get roughly five minutes to interview each member of the cast and crew , with the studio filming the exchanges . 
the "" reporters "" are notorious for tossing softball questions as they suck up to the stars , but to play it safe , the studios stand ready to erase the tapes if anything unpleasant occurs . 
placing two spoiled actors in a setting where image is everything is inspired , but the screenplay undermines the conceit . 
the junket is moved from the handsome , but highly confining , four seasons hotel to a plush resort near las vegas . 
for most of the film , the movie stars run around the sprawling grounds , completely safe from the eyes of the press . 
when they do deal with journalists , the "" it is imperative that you be on your best behavior in front of the reporters "" premise is de-clawed . 
gwen and eddie insult each other while the tv cameras roll , they scream at each other in a restaurant filled with the media and , at the screening of the movie , everyone connected with the film goes nuts , all without any repercussions . 
lee certainly isn't bothered by any of the infantile outbursts ; in fact , he makes arrangements for footage of even more inappropriate behavior to be delivered to the tabloids . 
is the studio angry about his handling of the combative actors ? 
hell no ? they feel lee is a genius for garnering so much publicity for the movie . 
all of which underscores how billy crystal and co-writer peter tolan screwed up their own premise : the comedy in "" america's sweethearts "" is based on barely-in-control people trying to contain themselves in the presence of reporters , except that it doesn't matter because any publicity is good publicity . 
and thus the very set-up for the film implodes , leaving smoke and dust in place of laughter . 
so what about the cast ? 
julia roberts , at her best playing the underdog , is utterly charming here , although i could have lived without flashbacks that exist solely as an excuse to show her in a fat suit ( and not a very convincing one , by the way ) . 
catherine zeta-jones makes a believable brat and john cusack fleshes out his obsessed character enough to make him vaguely sympathetic . 
by casting himself as the publicist , billy crystal allows himself to do roughly the same thing he does on "" comic relief "" - stay on the sidelines of the action while tossing off cornball jokes and snarky remarks . 
in supporting roles , hank azaria wears out his welcome fast with broad gestures and a spanish accent that speedy gonzales would have deemed "" too broad . "" 
seth green is amusing as a toadie , stanley tucci is very good as a ruthless studio head and christopher walken plays the eccentric director with suitable flair , though he has little to work with . 
come to think of it , "" little to work with "" is the operative phrase for this movie . 
as a hollywood satire , "" america's sweethearts "" is toothless . 
as a romance , it is at best a minor pleasure . 
such a good cast , such a waste of their efforts . 
had it not been taken long ago , a better title for the film would have been "" much ado about nothing . "" 
"
"-1","do the folks at disney have no common decency ? 
they have resurrected yet another cartoon and turned it into a live action hodgepodge of expensive special effects , embarrassing writing and kid-friendly slapstick . 
wasn't mr . magoo enough , people ? 
obviously not . 
inspector gadget is not what i would call ideal family entertainment . 
younger viewers will likely be taken in by the abounding goofiness , but their adult companions may feel a wave of nausea sweeping over them as they attempt to endure this appalling 80-minute exercise in glaring stupidity . 
the movie is poorly edited , grossly manipulative , and the finished product resembles somewhat of a failed jigsaw puzzle . 
all the elements are there , but the manner in which director david kellogg pieces them together is laughable and trite . 
as a huge fan of the 80's animated tv show , the first thing i must express is my anger toward the treatment of the main villain . 
in the cartoon , dr . claw was a frightening , raspy-voiced presence who remained a total mystery to the viewer . 
we never saw his face ; he simply sat back in his arm-chair , watching surveillance cameras and gently stroking his loyal cat . 
as a child , i always imagined what dr . claw would appear as - and this curiosity kept me watching for many years . 
with the release of the live-action movie , the face of this once intriguing villain has been unrightfully exposed - it's . . . 
rupert everett ? ! 
only now , dr . claw is simply known as claw ( `one word , ' he explains , `like madonna' ) . 
he sports a shiny clamp instead of the steel glove , and seems far less interesting than the animated version . 
it helps that the dashing everett is enthusiastic , but he overplays the role entirely too far . 
when all is said and done , this wasn't a very wise move on the part of the screenwriters - the infamous dr . claw has been turned into a wisecracking game show host who makes cheap attempts at being suave and cool . 
he does still have his cat , though . 
in the title role , matthew broderick looks lost . 
the actor , while usually downright charming , doesn't know exactly where to take his character - a fault that again can be blamed on the hapless writers . 
broderick first plays a friendly , naive security guard named john brown , who dreams of becoming a cop and upholding the law for the good of the people . 
he has a mad crush on pretty scientist brenda ( joely fisher ) , who has stumbled upon a new wave of technology involving the interaction of human tissue and electronics . 
but one fateful night , her lab is destroyed and her experiment is stolen by a fiendish millionaire ( everett ) who wants to take over the world . 
john courageously pursues the limousine from the scene of the crime , but loses the chase when his vehicle bursts into flames . 
in a full body cast , he is chosen to be the first human prototype for brenda's work ; a revolutionary crime fighting tool with numerous fancy gadgets to dispatch bad guys . 
and so is born inspector gadget . 
as bad as this movie is , it does have a certain charm in isolated scenes . 
broderick actually fares better playing robo gadget , an evil and destructive clone that claw has set loose on the city . 
and there are about two or three amusing punch lines , the funniest being when robo gadget impersonates a rampaging monster with shadow puppets on a brick wall , and a japanese man flees the scene while screaming , `this is why i left tokyo ! ' 
alas , the hit ratio of the ongoing gags is about 20 to 1 in favor of not even cracking a slight giggle . 
there are so many tired plot additions . 
gadget's talking car ( voiced by d . l . 
hughley ) is the same type of character as zoot the suit from my favorite martian . 
both are wisecracking , non-human additions designed to coax laughter from smaller children . 
well , it just doesn't work ( in fact , zoot functioned marvelously in comparison to this ) . 
and don't even get me started about the villains . 
i didn't mind everett's performance , but his bumbling assistants will make every adult cringe with disgust . 
the characters from the cartoon have been reduced to thankless supporting roles . 
penny ( michelle trachtenberg ) and brain the dog now have little to do with the action , and chief quimby ( dabney coleman ) has lost considerable appeal in the transition of animation to live action . 
the special effects are everywhere , but not so annoying they will cause your eyes to peel over . 
the problem here lies solely in the script . 
perhaps the next time disney attempts a remake like this , they will invest more in the screenplay than the fancy-schmancy visuals . 
here is one critic crossing his fingers , anyway . 
"
"-1","if you haven't plunked down your hard-earned money yet for "" wild wild west , "" the latest summer holiday offering from will smith , let me say right now that your money will be better spent on a starbuck's frappacino or on a ben & jerry's sundae . 
these treats are great relief from the summer heat . 
in contrast , this film made me simmer in disappointment . 
i can accept the fact that summer movies tend to put more weight into special effects and that good stories and flavorful characters usually take a back seat . 
this was true of star wars episode i , but at least in that film , the story and the characters were still in the back seat . 
in this film , they are no where to be found . 
what remains are hundreds of male extras costumed as gunslingers and foppish aristocrats , lots of female extras who look like can-can dancers , and a clunky , 80-foot tall instrument of destruction that resembles a mechanical tarantula . 
two men are asked to stop this threat . 
one is artemus gordon ( kevin kline ) , an inventor who uses his intellect and array of disguises to best his opponents . 
among his creations are false breasts and the bulletproof vest . 
the other man is jim west ( will smith ) , who prefers the shoot-first-then-shoot-some-more method of investigating . 
although their individual talents must be combined to achieve success , their interaction with one another merely seemed like a second rate , two-man vaudevillian act . 
for example , there is a scene where west , being more debonair than the reserved gordon , notes that the fake breasts should be filled with water rather than buckwheat , which is what it is currently filled with . 
 "" now touch my breast , "" west says . 
gordon does so and then softly coos his approval . 
i found myself groaning at this kind of silliness . 
the script fails to generate any sense of drama , humor , or fun for that matter . 
i did enjoy kline's reserved performance , but was surprised at how much latitude they gave to smith . 
could it be that will smith is just so bankable that he's not even required to act ? 
it was as if the director was yelling "" will smith , do your own thing . . . and 
action ! "" 
here's an example . 
in this scene , will smith is about to be hanged by a group of angry white people . 
he must endear himself to the crowd to escape . 
the director yells , "" will smith , do your own thing . . . and 
action ! "" 
in another scene , he has to masquerade as a belly dancer in order to save his comrades . 
 "" will smith , do your own thing . . . and 
action ! "" 
worse still , the final battle scene aboard the mechanical tarantula is a horrid mess . 
there are cogs spinning and pulleys pulling and levers going up and down everywhere you look . 
there's actually a lot of imagination at work in this film . 
there are some genuinely clever inventions and gizmos introduced , but all of this imagination is wasted in a film that is visually cluttered and dramatically flat . 
and that's too bad because if there was more focus on the story rather than will smith just doing his 'thing , ' this film might have been palatable . 
as it turns out , "" wild wild west "" is the wild , wild worst and receives my vote for biggest disappointment of the year . 
"
"-1","synopsis : two con artists find the perfect patsy in harry ( woody harrelson ) - - an inept former journalist who trips and bumps his head into a post , tries to slap a girl and gets poked in the eye , has ill-timed fits of coughing , and fails at everything he does . 
the story is told from harry's point of view . 
harry always carries around a shot of whiskey although he swears he doesn't drink . 
one day harry is approached by the con girl rhea ( elisabeth shue ) , who is similar to harry in that she carries around a cigarette but swears she doesn't smoke . 
seduced , harry agrees to participate in a money-making scheme involving faking the kidnapping of odette ( chloe sevigny ) , the teenage daughter of a rich man . 
turns out , it's all part of a needless , very puzzling , extremely elaborate and convoluted scheme ( it involves hiring special impersonators ) by two cons in order to fool harry , a hero who barely has the intellectual capacity of a wooden post . 
when the 'kidnapped' odette is found dead , the clues point to harry as the kidnapper/murderer , and the police are hot on harry's trail . 
harry suddenly realizes he has been framed while others have taken the ransom money . 
can he get out of this mess ? 
opinion : palmetto is a long , uninteresting film with all the wrong feel . 
hero harry is an inept bungler who trips up often and consistently overestimates his own intelligence . 
this farcical kind of character works best in an entertaining naked gun action comedy or dragnet spoof . 
but palmetto is played like a dark , serious , detective noir drama , and watching harry's bumbling confidence amounts to an irritating distraction . 
there's a lapse in concentration in the middle of the movie as the camera goes wild on breasts , buttocks , short skirts , colored painted nails , and women's legs . 
even when the focus is supposedly on harry and his dilema , you can always notice the side of elizabeth shue's breast forming a prominent foreground . 
towards the end , palmetto re-focuses on plot for the grand finale - - a confusing explanation involving impersonators , with woody harrelson handcuffed and suspended over a tub of acid as he hears the criminals' confession . 
if you can imagine 'shemp' from the three stooges playing the detective hero of an hbo 'lingerie suspense' thriller , that's how out of synch this movie feels . 
"
"-1","starring arnold schwarzenegger ; danny devito ; emma thompson & frank langella the only thing that you can say about junior is that it is a disappointment , and a big one at that . 
junior brings together arnold schwarzenegger and danny devito with director ivan reitman . 
these are the same men that brought us the very funny twins . 
so foolish me , i was hoping for something that would at least come close to the level of quality of twins . 
so much for hopes . 
schwarzenegger and devito play two scientists ( doctors hesse and arbogast ) who are working on a new drug that will reduce the possibility of miscarriage in pregnancy . 
unfortunately , due to circumstances beyond their control , they are denied permission to test this new drug on humans , and subsequently lose their funding . 
still believing that their drug will work , they decide to test it anyway , on hesse . 
so , dr . hesse ( schwarzenegger ) artificially inseminates himself and begins taking the drug . 
their theory is that if the drug can prevent a man from miscarrying , surely it will work on a woman . 
does the thought of arnold schwarzenegger pregnant sound funny or humorous to you ? 
well , it must have to the producers of junior . 
admittedly , schwarzenegger has the comedic talent to pull it off . 
perhaps if it had been done differently it might have actually been funny . 
but it wasn't , schwarzenegger pregnant is goofy at best . 
the sight of schwarzenegger running around going through the hormone imbalances that come with pregnancy , and the accompanying emotional swings , is not funny . 
schwarzenegger comes very close to embarrassing himself with these antics . 
i kept thinking to myself , with the time arnold wasted making this turkey he could have been making an action picture . 
better yet , with schwarzenegger , devito and reitman all in the same place at the same time , why didn't they make a sequel to twins ? 
anything would have been better than this mess . 
danny devito is wasted in this movie . 
his part could have been played by any joker they pulled in off the street . 
 ( after seeing the movie , if i was devito , i probably would have wished they had pulled someone in off the street . ) 
emma thompson is wasted here as well . 
while thompson is best known for her jane austin adaptations , she is also a fine comedian . 
too bad she didn't get to use any of that talent here . 
am i being too hard on this film ? 
i don't think so . 
schwarzenegger and devito are two of my favorite actors in film today , and ivan reitman is one of the more talented directors in hollywood . 
with a supporting cast of emma thompson and frank langella , the filmmakers really have to be trying hard to make a bad film . 
they certainly managed here . 
maybe it was well intentioned , but unfortunately this is a movie that never should have been made . 
if you are tempted to see this film , do yourself a favor and go rent twins , a film that truly takes advantage of arnold schwarzenegger and danny devito's comedic talents . 
"
"-1","there are scenes in "" the big hit "" that are so awful , they simply defy description . 
the movie is infected with the same kind of blunderheaded idiocy and misplaced confidence that made "" last action hero "" ( 1993 ) such a chore to sit through . 
presumably , "" the big hit "" is an action-comedy , a difficult but not impossible genre to pull off . 
movies of this sort require a fine balance and careful tone , and the comedy is usually meant to work as catharsis for the violence . 
 "" lethal weapon 2 "" ( 1989 ) is a perfect example of an action thriller that was also very , very funny . 
unfortunately , in "" the big hit , "" it seems that comedy is the main motive , and the violence is only intended to punctuate the laughs . 
unfortunately , there are no laughs . 
the movie resembles some of the goofy , throwaway ridiculousness of early jackie chan films , but it doesn't benefit from chan's incredible stunts and goofy , charismatic presence . 
instead , we are left with a lot of digital effects and mark wahlberg , who must have considered himself invincible after his critically-acclaimed performance in last year's "" boogie nights . "" 
however , if he wants to maintain a decent career , he had better start selecting his projects more carefully - movies like this are a sure-fire recipe for a long career in the straight-to-video market . 
wahlberg plays melvin smiley , an amiable guy who also happens to be a professional hitman ( see "" grosse pointe blank "" for the same character , much better developed ) . 
the movie wants us to think , "" gee how clever and ironic - a guy who can kill without any moral implications , and yet he can't stand for anyone not to like him . "" 
the fact is , melvin is so desperate to keep people from not liking him , that he puts up with both an obnoxious fiancee ( christina applegate , with a horrendous new york accent ) and an abusive girlfriend ( lela rochon ) who is only using him for his money . 
his constant bending over backwards to please people makes him a complete patsy at best , and a thoroughly unbelievable character at worst . 
melvin is employed exclusively by a crime boss named paris ( avery brooks ) as part of a team of hitmen , which also includes cisco ( lou diamond phillips ) and crunch ( bokeem woodbine ) . 
one day , melvin agrees to do some moonlighting with cisco by kidnapping the teenage daughter of a rich japanese mogul named jiro nishi ( sab shimono ) for a million dollar ransom . 
however , not only has jiro nishi lost all his money producing a big hollywood movie ( inside joke , get it ? ) , but his kidnapped daughter , keiko ( china chow ) , also happens to be paris' goddaughter . 
so , when paris finds out she's been kidnapped , he takes it personally and becomes determined to find out who did it . 
not knowing the cisco is actually behind the whole scheme , paris puts him in charge of rooting out the kidnapper . 
of course cisco blames the whole thing on poor , innocent melvin . 
along the way , there are several obligatory gunfights , explosions , and car chases , plus a literal cliffhanger inspired by "" jurassic park , "" and a completely unconvincing romance between melvin and keiko ( who looks like she's barely pushing fifteen ) . 
what the movie passes off as humor resorts to thoroughly unfunny jokes about overweight jewish mothers , hara-kiri , drinking problems , leaking body bags , and a running gag about how crunch has recently discovered the pleasures of masturbation , and now spends all his time doing hand exercises . 
not to mention the pimply video store clerk who is always calling melvin and screeching about how he needs to return his copy of "" king kong lives , "" which is two weeks overdue . 
this mess of a movie was helmed by che-kirk wong , the latest hong kong director imported by john woo ( "" face/off "" ) , who also served as executive producer . 
woo needs to stop acting as a conduit for other directors , and start making more of his own films . 
wong , who directed such films as "" rock'n'roll cop "" back in hong kong , is completely tone deaf when it comes to comedy . 
maybe jokes about vexatious video clerks and vomiting on other people are funny across the ocean , but they're not here , at least in the manner wong handles them . 
many of the problems can be traced back to the script , which was penned by obvious freshman writer ben ramsey . 
in addition to his vague characterizations and uninspired action sequences , ramsey's script assaults the audience with his attempts to copy the vulgar , poetic rhythms of tarantino or mamet-style dialogue . 
what he comes out with is just a lot of annoying blather , most of which spews from the lips of lou diamond phillips ( whose favorite phrase is "" it's all love "" ) and robin dunne , who plays cisco's stuttering , black-wannabe assistant . 
the irritation factor of phillips and dunne combined is almost off the scale , which can pretty much describe the film as a whole . 
"
"-1","well i guess it's that time of the year again . 
the one time of the year where movie craftors are exonerated from the need to even * try * writing a script that has more dialogue than explosions . 
it's also the best time for the handful of existing bigtime hollywood mr action heroes to dust off their miniscule vocabularies , pull on their black vests and charge onto our screens tersely expirating what they hope will become memorable catchphrases . 
in america they call this time "" summer "" and it happens once every year . 
and maybe it's the exposure to all that nasty sun that does it , but in the process normally weak , insipid lines like "" consider this a divorce , "" "" hasta la vista , baby , "" and "" you're the disease . 
i'm the cure "" actually do end up being repeated more often then the phrases from my book of biblical proverbs . 
this is not entirely a bad thing , of course . 
what am i talking about ? 
i'm talking about the summer "" blockbusters , "" the "" action thrillers , "" the "" this-obviously-cost-a-lot-so-you-know- everyone's-going-to-go "" explosions , gas threats , flying saucers , and special effects . 
in the rash of "" my , what big guns you have , but wait ! 
mine are bigger "" movies , there are also the usual boy-meets-fish-and-saves-environment movies ( or whale , whatever ) , and * this * year , the odd crop of "" save-the-world-from-aliens-or-environment- threats "" offerings . 
i'm talking about the three batmans , the speeds , the terminators , etc . this year i'm talking about twister , independence day , the arrival , the rock , mission : impossible , and of course , eraser . 
here in singapore , as our local movie critics like to whine , we seem to get the pick of the crop of "" my explosion is more real-looking than yours "" movies , but nothing else . 
mission : impossible opened in our theatres almost as soon as it did in the us . 
the same goes for eraser , which is unfortunate for arnold schwarzenegger because coming so soon after what time magazine recently called "" mission : unavoidable "" ( on account of its worldwide mega-advertising blitz ) , eraser seems like a cheaper , less thoughtful imitation . 
that's saying a lot , because mi the movie was already a cheap , thoughtless imitation of its tv originator of the '60s/'70s . 
in eraser , arnie is a us federal marshall who relocates trial witnesses whose testimonies place their lives in danger . 
he does this by destroying all evidence of their present existence and re-situating them with new identities . 
his new case is lee cullen , played by vanessa williams who , unlike all the other scumbags he's ever relocated , is "" an actual , real life honest person . "" 
because she's so good , and has such nice legs , arnold spends the whole movie trying to protect her , and only uses the opening movie sequence to save robert pastorelli from * his * killers . 
lee obtains evidence that the high-technology weapons company she works for is secretly selling sophisticated , black-market arms to people with foreign accents and stringy hair . 
of course , as the formula goes , her revealing this information will destroy the system as we know it because heck , there are people in high places who will go down with this , because yes , this is the biggest conspiracy in the history of the world ( that is , america ) since watergate . 
in protecting lee , arnold is framed by the mentor-turned-evil robert deguerin , nicely played by james caan , and ends up having to prove that he isn't the one killing the programme's witnesses in addition to making sure lee isn't accidentally torpedo-ed to death by the new , green guns his enemies all have . 
it's around this time that people in the theatre with me starting humming the mission : impossible theme , because arnie's mission includes breaking into a high-security building to run a disk . 
i guess i should tell you more about the particular gun everyone in this movie is so antsy about . 
it's an electro-magnetic pulse gun thing which fires aluminium missiles , and which can see through walls . 
it has some sort of x-ray vision , so its user can target the victim's heart even from great distances . 
despite this , which i figure is a pretty cool feature in a gun ( though i'm certainly no expert ) , however , arnold , whose own heart is targeted a number of times , * never * goes flying 10 feet backwards with a two-foot missile through his chest like all the others who get shot by this gun . 
instead he outruns and outsmarts his trackers each time , giving eery and ironic resonance to that terminator line that practically made him famous : "" i'll be back . "" 
like everyone else in the theater , i left the movie feeling that the trailers had duped me , because they made me want to watch this movie voluntarily . 
although there is a * lot * of violence in this movie , not to mention mutilation and some bloody tussles with alligators , i recommend this movie to most over-18s who need some therapeutic mindless action to get over the weirdness of fargo or the hangover effect of leaving las vegas . 
review's rating system : * wait for the video . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"-1","the rapid-fire formula that worked so well in airplane ! , the "" police squad ! "" 
television series , top secret ! , three naked gun films , and two hot shots ! 
movies has finally reached a desperate dead-end with spy hard . 
even ezio gregio's the silence of the hams is arguably funnier than this over-extended spy- and action-movie spoof . 
leslie nielsen stars as secret agent wd-40 , who returns from retirement to battle his old nemesis , general rancor ( a cackling andy griffith ) . 
the jokes fly in every direction and with hardly a hint of restraint , timing , or tact . 
most the movie is comprised of recycled airplane and naked gun gags , recreated movie sequences , and soggy star cameos . 
yeah , maybe we * do * need ray charles driving an l . a . bus bound for a speed bump , but did mr . t , hulk hogan , and dr . joyce brothers also have to appear in the same movie ? 
leslie nielsen plays it straight with his usual dopey flair . 
there is something oddly inspiring about the sight of nielsen wearing a nun's habit , even the resulting sister act spoof is silly . 
as are the bits directly lifted from home alone , pulp fiction , true lies , etc . etc . ( adolescent males might enjoy this mess , tho . 
the butt shots , breast peeks , penis pokes , flatulence gags , and related innuendo are right up beavis and butthead's alley . ) 
beyond the hilarious title sequence with "" weird "" al yankovich performing the theme song , spy hard is barely the stock that it's printed on . 
my recommendation : duck in while you're waiting for another movie to start . 
stay long enough to see the camera dart inside of weird al's nostril and then leave . 
you won't miss a thing . 
"
"-1","tim burton has now completed his evolution from the brilliant director of macabre stories about outcast individuals yearning for acceptance , and into a studio monkey whose name is used as part of multi-tiered marketing materials for crap movies . 
and here he hits rock bottom , with planet of the apes . 
i didn't expect much from this latest "" interpretation "" of pierre boulle's classic novel planet of the apes . 
i mean , how could you top the force and impact of the original film , intelligently co-scripted by rod serling ( of twilight zone fame ) combined with the overbearing chuck heston growling and yelling at those "" damn dirty apes , "" in one of his best roles of his career ? 
sadly , i sat down to watch burton's version of planet of the apes and within the first 20 minutes , i was checking my watch and my girlfriend ( a big fan of the original film ) started to nod off . 
this time around , the story plays out like a cross between enemy mine , braveheart , and project x . marky mark wahlberg , who was enjoyable in boogie nights and the corrupter , plays leo davidson , a hot shot u . s . air force pilot . 
leo and his crew are in search of some mysterious magnetic storms ( no real explanation given in the film ) and leo sends one of his genetically altered "" smart "" chimps into the storms to collect data . 
leo and his crew lose communication with the chimp , leo hops in another ship to find the monkey , and then he's thrown through some type of time-space wormhole which crashes lands on the twentieth century fox studio backlot , all mocked up to look like the amazon jungle . 
leo ends up getting captured by a group of talking apes and is sold to a slave trader named limbo ( paul giamatti ) who in turn sells leo to a chimpanzee named ari ( helena bonham carter ) . 
the kind ari then helps leo and his fellow humans escape to the mountains to find leo's ship . 
along the way , monkeys played by tim roth ( overacting his role of a vicious general named thade ) and michael clarke duncan ( who further enhances his career by playing another heavy in a bad action movie ) strive out to hunt down leo and his band of human savages , just like battlefield earth ! 
in the end , it all culminates into another braveheart rip-off human versus ape battle scene . 
while rick baker's makeup work is amazing , the script is a pathetic hodgepodge ( courtesy of three writers ) , the acting is horrible , and the "" surprise "" ending feels like a swing from a ball-peen hammer into the temple . 
wahlberg does not have the physical or mental presence of a chuck heston to carry the film or any of its action sequences . 
this remake , or re-interpretation , as tim burton has proclaimed it , is an insult to the intelligence and wit of the original film . 
the ethical arguments about the equality of species , fascism , and military buildup have been replaced by tremendous amounts of ridiculous dialogue , an unimaginative narrative structure , and a romance between a monkey and a human . 
even chuck heston's anti-gun tirade ( in the de rigeur cameo ) seems shallow and jokey . 
but the main element missing from this tim burton film is tim burton . 
even though his name is plastered across every billboard in america , john badham could have directed this film . 
even joel schumacher could have directed this film . 
he probably should have . 
burton's predominant themes of rejection , isolation , and the search for one's place in the universe , as seen in ed wood , edward scissorshands , and pee-wee's big adventure , are completely absent in this planet . 
i suppose that's what happen when a great director gets sucked through a wormhole . 
"
"-1","the premise of this movie is , well , pretty far-fetched . 
tom berenger plays shale , a mercenary who is temporarily out of work ( those fools at the cia have denied his existence just because he and his buddies botched a job in cuba ) . 
fortunately , his girl friend ( diane venora ) , a teacher at christopher columbus high school in miami , gets her knee cap broken by a disgruntled student , creating a job opening for shale as a substitute teacher . 
not telling his girl friend , who might object on pedagogical grounds , he creates a number of fake higher degrees for himself ( from yale , harvard , princeton , et al ) and begins his tenure as a high school teacher . 
the students ( junkies , drug dealers , gang members , sleazy sluts , ice-pick wielders . . . you 
get the picture ) don't really take to him right away , so he hits one in the face with a can and breaks a few fingers . 
this gets their attention to a certain extent , so he tells them the story of the vietnam war : "" see , some homeboys from the north tried to muscle in on the turf of the homeboys from the south . "" 
oh yeah , now they can dig it ; the problem is just that nobody ever explained it properly before . 
but wait ! 
there are drugs being dealt in the school itself ! 
and behind the whole scheme , in cahoots with the head gang , the kod ( no , not "" cod "" , but "" knights of destruction "" . . . really ! ) , is none other than . . . the 
upright , ex-cop principal , played by the forgotten ghostbuster , ernie hudson ! 
so shale does what any good teacher would do . 
he gets his buddies together , they gather together a bunch of bazookas and other major weapons , explosives , and cool stuff like that , and they have a big showdown against the drug dealers and kod at the high school . 
ok , so the premise is not just far-fetched , it's downright dumb . 
if this were a hong kong action comedy , we might just accept it , but it takes itself far too seriously to be truly fun . 
oh , it has its moments ; how one can truly hate a movie in which huge ( really huge ) amounts of cocaine are delivered in school busses ? 
and to be fair , it is almost never really boring , as the action is interrupted by only short sequences of actual story . 
but over all , this is pretty much a made-for-tv movie with more ( and bigger ) explosions and more foul language . 
in fact , it reminded me of "" miami vice "" without the production values , babes in skimpy bikinis , and pastels . 
if you can sneak into the theater without paying , go for it . 
otherwise , wait for video . 
the flying inkpot rating system : * wait for the tv2 broadcast . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice . 
"
"-1","chris tucker is one of those guys you immediately get a reaction from -- you either find his helium voice , crazy eyes and jerky mannerisms funny or annoying . 
i think i fall into the former category ( i'm one of the few who thought his turn in "" the fifth element "" as a prancing , prince-like deejay was complete inspired lunacy and not the least bit aggravating ) , but his new vehicle "" money talks "" just doesn't do him service . 
tucker is good in the movie -- and this is the kind of film that , if people see it , could make him a big star -- but he's also really the only thing good about the movie . 
in fact , if you see "" money talks , "" it should shock you beyond recognition that two of "" toy story "" 's writers penned the sloppy script . 
tucker's role here is that of franklin hatchett , a petty los angeles con artist whose carwash scams get him dogged by investigative reporter james russell ( charlie sheen ) . 
after being busted on the job for some illegal business involving counterfeit passports , franklin finds himself on a bus to the county jail and handcuffed to slick international jewel smuggler raymond villard ( gerard ismael ) . 
but villard's thugs blow up the bus in an attempt to free their leader ( never mind that the explosion could have instead killed him ) , and because he and franklin are joined at the wrist , franklin is allowed to escape as well , but not before overhearing some important information regarding a diamond stash that -- for some reason or another -- is being hidden in a vintage roadster waiting to be auctioned off at an upcoming auto expo . 
the local media mistakenly puts the prison break-out blame on franklin , which is where james comes back into the picture . 
he makes a deal to protect franklin if , in turn , franklin gives him an exclusive interview . 
this means james must present his new "" friend "" in the stickiest of situations -- a formal dinner party for he and fiancee grace ( heather locklear ) , also attended by her uber-rich parents ( veronica cartwright and nicely game paul sorvino ) . 
and of course the bad guys track franklin down and try to knock him off , all the while he spars and forms an unlikely bond with james . 
 "" this ain't no buddy movie , "" claim the print ads . 
yeah , right . 
actually , for the better part of , oh , 20 minutes , it appears "" money talks "" has the momentum to cover entertaining ground , and this is mostly due to the presence of spastic motormouth tucker . 
this is tucker's first leading role , and if you imagine a slightly lankier , african-american jim carrey with a reliance on wild r-rated raunch rather than pg-13 physical comedy , you have a good idea of the conviction with which he assaults the role . 
but you realize all too quickly that tucker's overstated liveliness is the only thing "" money talks "" has going for it . 
and a lively actor alone does not a successful movie make . 
it's all too easy to pick out everything wrong with "" money talks . "" 
the plot is recycled buddy-buddy comedy-thriller tripe that seemed overused even when "" nothing to lose "" employed it last month . 
everything is paint-by-numbers , especially the los angeles coliseum finale , which finds not one , not two , but three separate enemy factions firing at franklin as they pursue him through the bleachers . 
the villains , as many as there are , are dull . 
certain story elements are too coincidental . 
and too much of the film's dramatic agenda is played too straight . 
a scene where grace confronts james after learning franklin's true identity ( "" you brought a killer into my parents' house ! "" ) 
is extremely silly . 
you get the picture . 
obviously , i did not have a pleasant experience at "" money talks . "" 
but the people around me appeared to be having a rip-roaring good time ( one gentleman several rows behind me chortled with such expressive conviction i began fearing for his health ) . 
but tucker , at least for me , is a pretty funny guy , and aces the movie's best scene , where franklin passes himself off as vic damone's son at james and grace's engagement bash and toasts the couple with barry white lyrics . 
tucker's audience -- and he does have one -- will probably like "" money talks . "" 
those who he irritates , however , will have a more productive day staying home and scraping the gook out from under their toenails . 
"
"-1"," "" soldier "" , by director paul anderson , is a film in which any presence of originality is fleeting . 
the best moments of the film are in the opning scenes where kurt russel's character todd is shown growing up under strict military supervision . 
brutality through the eyes of the innocent and stripped of it every single day growing up is something that has a lot of emotional potential power behind it , and the opening scenes tap into it a little . 
then it goes nowhere with that idea . 
there is perhaps one rather fleeting scene afterwards that deals with the potential trauma of this dehumanization , and the rest of the film is just some of the biggest action movie cliches i've ever seen . 
the whole idea of the inhuman , soldier-type character gaining some degree of humanity by defending a potential female love interest and family from his evil counterpart out to kill her is done , and it's been done much better . 
i was able to predict the plot of the _whole_ story , which wouldn't be so bad if other aspect of the film somewhat interesting . 
between the action sequences , it tries to deal with the aforementioned issues of humanity through the performance of mr . russel in the film and the tiny little window to his soul that is his eyes , since his dialog is extremely limited . 
his performance in that way isn't all that bad , but certainly is not enough to carry this film . 
other performances in this film are really not worth much mention at all , and they generally are about as weak as their characters . 
but enough of this stuff about plot and character , right ? 
isn't the most important part of an action film , well , the action ? 
even in this aspect the film is a disappointment . 
in mortal kombat ( 1995 ) , director paul anderson proved that truly engaging use and choreography of action in a film can override problems with plot and produce something entertaining . 
however , he fails to repeat that in this film . 
the combat scenes , particularly the big one at the end , is incredibly unimaginatve . 
fighting and combat scenes are supposed to bring about thrills in this type of movie , a point which even an otherwise unimpressive film like starship troopers seemed to realize . 
but instead of reaching for something truly interesting to end the film with , it goes for the old , shoot-em up , one guy vs . an army type of cinema that i thought died with the military action films of the 80s . 
if the film went with some of the ideas it opened up with the introduction more seriously , it could have been a rather engaging science fiction film . 
however , it utterly failed to go in any new directions after that , making the film a big disappointment . 
"
"-1","the first scene of operation condor has jackie chan preparing for a secret mission . 
he attempts to pop a couple of pieces of chewing gum into his mouth , but misses . 
after they ricochet off his face , he says , "" not a good start . "" 
as it turns out , this line not only gives foreshadowing to the opening sequence , but to the rest of the movie as well . 
in this , the latest of the jackie chan movies to be released in america after first runs in hong kong , chan plays an international operative codenamed "" condor "" , and is tasked by the united nations with finding a stash of gold hidden at a secret base by the nazi's during their retreat across the saharan desert during the second world war . 
for some reason , condor is given his mission at the u . s . embassy in spain . 
i think this may have been done so that in a chase scene , they could honor the time old tradition of knocking over a fruit cart . 
watch for it in any chase scene set in a foreign country , most notably in europe . 
the chase will take itself through a marketplace , and a fruit cart will be overturned . 
it's almost a guarantee . 
anyway . . . . 
condor is given a key which is supposed to unlock a giant vault in which the gold is hidden ; the problem is that the key has insulators integrated into it , which may mean a booby trap might be electronically triggered if the key is used improperly . 
to help him figure out where the gold is hidden and how to use the key correctly , condor is accompanied by a desert expert ( carol cheng ) and the granddaughter of the captain who was in charge of hiding the gold ( eva cobo ) . 
there aren't supposed to be any relatives of the nazi captain living in spain , but condor finds the granddaughter by looking her up in the phone book or something . 
although these two women are supposed to be integral parts of the mission , they prove no help at all except to get in trouble and provide an excuse for chan to jump into his martial arts . 
in fact , most of the scenes are so ridiculously contrived that it seems everything is just a way to set up a fight . 
i suppose this isn't so bad , since chan's action is really the best part of the movie , and the only reason you go to see one of his films anyway . 
if you've never seen a jackie chan movie , don't expect a great plot , but do expect to be entertained by his moves . 
they are so well choreographed and often so amazing that you wonder if this guy is human . 
knowing that he does his own stunts , and knowing that this is the real stuff ( no computer-masked bungee cords here ) makes the action sequences all the more exciting . 
you've got to hand it to a guy who's probably broken every bone in his body for the sake of his art . 
also of note in this , as in any jackie chan movie , is the humor . 
as far as i know , none of his films take themselves too seriously , and even the dramatic parts have a certain tongue-in-cheek quality about them . 
what is almost masterful is the way that humor is even integrated into the fight scenes . 
unlike a martial arts film such as anything with jean claude van damme , where the fights get you on the visceral level , fight scenes in chan's movies are simply entertaining . 
you marvel at both his moves and at the way he employs them in such a way to make you laugh . 
unfortunately , even chan's mastery can't save this film . 
the plot and characters are so weak that they don't hold the movie together at all , and the acting is terrible . 
carol cheng has apparently won best actress honors at the hong kong movie awards in the past , but since operation condor is a dubbed movie it kind of takes all bets off . 
this , combined with an obviously low production value made we want to turn away from the screen until i heard those kicks start flying . 
"
"-1","cashing in on the success of white men can't jump and the failure of most of their solo vehicles ( including the cowboy way and drop zone ) , wesley snipes and woody harrelson have reteamed , hoping that they can strike up the same success . 
sadly , if this dismal , cliche ridden and mind-numbingly boring action pic is anything to go by , they haven't got a chance in hell of even coming close . 
this time out , the duo play foster brothers who are transit cops . 
following several run-ins with their tyrannical boss ( robert blake ) , who is obsessed with the "" money train "" --a train which carries all the subway's takings--and will let nothing stop it ( now * there's * an original plot device ) , harrelson's character decides to try and take off with the cash . 
along the way , both of them fall in love with the same woman--another transit cop who also hates her boss . 
this leads to the typical sibling rivalry crap that you usually find in a film of this standard ( 'you were always the better brother' etc . etc . etc . ) , and doesn't help to add anything to the film . 
given a better script , better performers in supporting roles and a shorter running time ( the film almost went for two hours--or did it just feel like it ? ) , this film might ( and i mean * might * ) have turned out okay , but as it is , it is stocked with the worst action film cliches , whose only purpose appears to be to pad the film out to its painfully long running time . 
robert blake , who plays the evil boss , has got to be the most pathetic bad guy in film history ! 
he sounds like wayne newton , and appears to think the best way to appear evil is to have your eyes bulging as though they are about to burst out of their sockets ! 
but this is only one of money train's problems . 
if you look at the script as if it was an action film , it lacks originality and suspense . 
but if you try to look at it as if it were a heist film , it is even worse . 
the final robbery sequence is almost trivialised and the characters definitely ain't butch and sundance . 
the film isn't all bad though . 
snipes and harrelson , when they aren't using the dumb cliches that the script gives them , make an agreeable duo , and some of the stunt-work is indeed excellent . 
but good stunt-work cannot save a bottom-of-the-barrel action movie . 
if you're a really undemanding action freak , there's a chance you'll like this . 
but if you're looking for something original , or suspenseful , try somewhere else--i doubt you'll find it here . 
"
"-1","girl 6 is , in a word , a mess . 
i was never able to determine what spike lee was trying to accomplish with this film . 
there was no sense of where the film was going , or any kind of coherent narrative . 
if there was a point to the film , i missed it . 
girl 6 , by the way , is the way theresa randle's character is addressed in the phone sex workplace ; all the girls are known by their numbers . 
the plot , such as it is : theresa randle is a struggling n . y . actress , and eventually takes a job as a phone-sex operator . 
she begins to lose contact with reality , as her job consumes her . 
also , she must deal with the advances of her ex-husband ( isiah washington ) . 
he is an ex- con thief , and she tries to keep him away , while at the same time , it's clear that she still harbors feelings for him . 
her neighbor , jimmy ( spike lee ) functions as the observer ; mediating between the ex- husband and girl 6 . 
he also functions as a point of stability , as he watches her become seduced by the lurid world of phone sex . 
the soundtrack , consisting of songs by prince , was jarring . 
it kept taking my attention from the film - not altogether a bad thing , i'll grant you , as what was transpiring onscreen wasn't that riveting . 
for parts of the middle of the film , the music stayed blissfully in the background . 
in the opening sequence and one scene later in the film , however , the music was particularly loud and distracting . 
of course , i've never really cared for prince's ( or tafkap if you like ) music . 
prince fans might love the soundtrack , but it will probably be distracting , even to die-hard fans . 
of the performances , the only one that stood out was spike lee's buddy character , jimmy . 
he was excellent as the always-broke neighbor of girl 6 . 
he should have stuck to acting in this film . 
there are several sequences that gave me the impression that he'd like to be oliver stone when he grows up . 
there are scenes shot with different types of film , which are purposely grainy , and reminiscent of some of the scenes in oliver stone's natural born killers . 
in that film , they worked to propel the narrative . 
in this film , they just made me more confused . 
there are some amusing moments , and a few insights into the lives of the women who use their voices to make the phone-sex industry the multi-billion dollar industry that it has become . 
other than that , though , nothing much happens . 
there are a few intense moments , as when one caller becomes frightening , but even that is rather lackluster . 
i'm not the biggest fan of spike lee , though i'd agree that he has done some very good work in the past . 
in girl 6 , though , he seems to be floundering . 
he had an interesting idea , a fairly good setup , and seemed to wander aimlessly from there . 
girl 6 earns a grade of d . 
"
"-1","back in 1980s , chuck norris used to be synonym for the action films . 
he couldn't , of course , top the success and fame of big action names like sylvester stallone or arnold schwarzenegger , but sheer quantity of his films guaranteed that he was household name among shoot'em up and beat'em up genre aficionados . 
that quantity was mostly provided by cannon group , prolific production company that dominated the b-movie market in previous decade by flooding it with cheap , formulaic and , more often than not , unwatchable genre products . 
the hitman , 1991 action thriller directed by chuck's brother aaron , is one of the last among them . 
chuck norris here plays seattle cop betrayed , shot and left for dead by his partner ( which shouldn't surprise anyone , considering the fact that the partner is being played by michael parks , specialised for roles of usually very mean characters ) . 
surviving the shooting , cop is pronounced dead and hired as deep undercover agent . 
he infiltrates the underworld circles in seattle and becomes their top hitman , using his abilities to start brutal war between three major crime organisations - italians , french canadians and iranians . 
since it is rather absurd to expect great acting ability from chuck norris , at least not in this kind of movie , the biggest attraction of this film should have been action . 
well , the action in this film falls flat - it is boring , repetitive and not at all exciting . 
it is nothing more than monotonous series of scenes that contains violence too brutal even for this type of films . 
we know very little about norris' character while , on the other hand , gangsters are portrayed with more human dimension . 
in the end we almost feel sorry for them , since they are shown totally powerless against norris and his unstoppable and bloody crusade . 
during the film , somebody obviously became aware of that problem , so the screenwriter introduced the subplot dealing with the black boy who gets adopted by norris . 
that caused another problem - any questions about nature of that relationship had to be quashed with another subplot - this one dealing with lady lawyer who sleeps with the hero and gets killed after fulfilling that screenplay obligation . 
the photography in this film is dark , setting is depressive and this forgettable piece of 1980s style cinema leaves viewers without any reason to justify the hour and half spent in watching it . 
"
"-1","as forgetful as some people may be it is doubtful that anyone could forget their wedding , especially three times . 
but , alas professor brainard somehow manages to accomplish this feat twice before the momentous night that he actually creates flubber . 
it's amazing that he is able to remember any of the processes he uses to make anything . 
the whole point here is how could a man be so blatantly forgetful . 
this is not absent minded this is almost mindless and he is a professor . 
well , this is the case for about the first half of the movie then things begin to settle into what might truly be considered absent minded . 
along the way to becoming absent minded from absent of mind the professor stumbles onto flubber . 
thankfully or there would be no movie or any amusement for the audience . 
the flubber is supposed to be flying rubber , but it seems to have a life of its own . 
this is there strictly for the kids . 
the properties of the flubber provide some antics for the audience when flubber coated golfballs and bowling balls assail two would be thugs . 
although amusing this is not original what so ever and brings back haunting memories of home alone . 
the poor professor has to save the university where he teaches at , get his fiancee back , finally stop the plotting of an evil millionaire , and do all this in the funniest way possible . 
admittedly there are funny moments but the movie is rather shallow and does not compare very well to the original ( the absent minded professor ) . 
the whole scene with the basketball game was just atrocious and totally unbelievable . 
the basketball players , stereotypically unqualified for the sport , somehow manage to bounce , fly and dribble their way back to being close to winning ? 
this just sounds too bad to be true , the least that could have been done was keep semi close to the original movie to give this film a chance . 
as for innovations and new ideas there is but two good ones in this movie . 
giving life to the flubber , which is so poorly executed that it's best forgotten , and prof . brainard's flying robot weebo . 
giving life to the flubber would have worked beautifully if it wasn't for scenes of the sort where you have the flubber dancing around on tables and books for no real reason other than to put in a bit of music and extend the length of the movie . 
the life of the flubber had brief and rather whimsical moments where it might have been used well , but it wasn't and in the end might have done the movie more harm than good . 
now , weebo is a totally different story . 
it's a robot that prof . brainard created but forgot how and gave something of a life too . 
this is a really original idea , well maybe not , but it is an idea that is well executed and in the end makes the poor robot the most developed and real character in the movie . 
yes folks the little yellow robot has more emotion and character than the characters . 
the film lacks the emotional punch to pull the audience in at all . 
the acting by robin williams ( prof . 
brainard ) seems to be half hearted for most of the movie and in many cases quite forced . 
most of the acting in the movie was so convincing as to fool only the part of the audience that had not quite yet reached the age to 12 . 
people when stood up at the altar , don't usually give third chances . 
or for that matter talk to the fiancee afterwards , but what can be expected this is a children's movie . 
flubber , as a movie does little original and is nothing special in any respect . 
with the best character in the movie being something of a prop i doubt that many people will find it all that great . 
it does have its amusing moments and it is a good story in the end , but it does not wash up to the original . 
kids should find this movie amusing and fun and they'll probably enjoy the whole movie . 
as a movie it's just a kids movie and not the best of ones at that . 
"
"-1","how do you judge a film that is so bad , but intentionally so ? 
in spiceworld , the highly popular singing group the spice girls accomplish their major goal : mocking themselves with a purposely cheezy film and having a lot of fun doing it . 
if that was their goal , they did a fantastic job . 
so is it fair to give it such a low grade when it wasn't really meant to be much better than this ? 
honestly , i'd rather see this film before many others i gave higher grades , so does that mean i graded it inaccurately ? 
truth be known , i don't really think i can answer this question . 
to understand spiceworld , you have to understand the spice girls . 
unless you're very * very * young , or fairly older , you probably have at least heard of them . 
they're a group of five busty british babes who've had #1 hit singles and whose debut album sold millions . 
they're primarily adored by pre-teen girls who hope someday the contents of their training bras might match those of ginger spice's ( real name : geri haliwell ) wonderbra . 
all five of the girls have these "" spicy "" names for which they are better known than their real names . 
there is the aforementioned ginger spice , as well as sporty spice ( melanie chisholm , or mel c . ) , scary spice ( melanie brown , or mel b . ) , baby spice ( emma bunton ) , and posh spice ( victoria addams ) , and all of them , to some degree or another , resemble their stage names . 
the spice girls took the world by storm , and spiceworld is actually a good- humored spoof of all that transpired during their quick rise to fame . 
it's quite nice to see what good sports the girls are ( and not just the one dubbed sporty ) about poking fun at themselves . 
they don't take themselves too seriously , and that's probably the best thing about them . 
it's also surprising how natural they seem in front of the camera * acting * , and not just singing and dancing . 
they're not flawless by any means , but for the most part , they deliver their lines without feeling staged , and , like them or not , we get the sense the five are very at home within their characters ( which seems reasonable since they portray themselves ) . 
what makes the film bad is that extreme fans of the spice girls won't get enough of their music , while the rest of us don't get enough of a movie . 
the real point of this is to look at the spice girls for over ninety straight minutes . 
most of the film is very blas ? , but several parts are downright boring , and then they have those sporadic moments that actually make us laugh out loud ! 
if you're a big fan of the group , you probably won't get enough of what you want , and if you're not a big fan , you get too much time devoted to nothing more than "" look at us "" moments . 
for the right crowd , the "" music video "" sequences will be the highlights of the film , but for others , they will serve as three-minute lulls in a hectic-but-overall-uneventful storyline . 
other key actors include richard e . grant as clifford , the spice girls' manager , alan cumming as the film-maker piers cutherton-smyth who attempts to make a documentary of the group , george wendt as martin barnfield , a producer who constantly works on pitching a spice girls movie , and roger moore in a small , self-parodizing role . 
all provide relatively good performances , keeping in mind once again that this film wasn't meant to be acted seriously . 
even meat loaf shows up as dennis the bus driver and seems to have fun with it . 
while this film is continuously compared to the beatles' a hard day's night , i think that is an unjust comparison . 
it is supposedly the movie studio that first mad the comparison by way of press kits , but i don't think drector bob spiers , nor the spice girls , intended it to be so . 
i think the studios were just trying to boost hype and interest in the film , and have instead , come off rather pretentious . 
i don't think this film is trying to be anything more than a fun , satirical look at a group that got so big , a movie seemed the next likely step . 
and what could've been better than a self-indulged yet self- mocking approach ? 
probably nothing , and so it is . 
spiceworld is a movie i thought would be embarrassing to enjoy , but now instead , i find myself wanting to defend a movie i didn't even give a good review . 
it's bad , but it succeeds in every way it intended . 
it gives the spice girls a chance to play while allowing all those obsessive fans out there to indulge in every brainless moment . 
perhaps the group is nothing more than a gimmick . 
if that's the case , the movie's gimmick is that it * is * such a gimmick ! 
you might be saying , "" a spice girls movie ? 
come on ! "" , but when it comes down to it , i think that's the point . 
"
"-1","we could paraphrase michelle pfieffer's character in dangerous minds and say that beyond rangoon starts with an "" a . "" 
that's fair enough . 
all movies , like all school children , should be given the benefit of the doubt . 
the chance to succeed . 
after all , we like to think that the right combination of talent and effort can do wonders . 
mountains can be moved , and good movies can be made . 
yeah right . 
children fail , as do films . 
as does director john boorman's latest . 
the success of beyond rangoon hinges on the believability of patricia arquette ( ed wood , true romance ) as the busty westerner-in-peril wandering about 1988 burma without a passport . 
though we can stomach the mild plot contrivances that get her there , it's a tougher task to overlook the actress . 
she's a lightweight . 
as the first scene ( with narration ! ) 
demonstrates , she doesn't have * nearly * enough range for the emotions that her character--a mother fleeing the memories of a murdered husband and son--is supposed to show . 
she may give a stronger performance than , say , keanu reeves in a walk in the clouds , by not by much . 
beyond rangoon is a very physically appealing film , thanks to the practiced craftsmanship of john boorman ( deliverance , excalibur , hope and glory ) . 
he keeps the narrative moving , no matter how muddy the story--or the heroine--gets . 
why he chose arquette remains a mystery , though . 
maybe he was thinking that the dramatic weight of the story would overcome any casting deficiencies . 
but even after an hour of half-stated political statements and murky mass killings , we * still * don't know enough of what's happening in this country to feel distressed for the characters or their situations . 
empty exoticism . 
the technical credits in beyond rangoon are a curious mix , combining lush jungle photography with bad blue-screen work . 
also odd is the obvious dubbing . 
done to make some of the foreign characters sound less foreign ? 
and , is it my mistake , or do the same extras keep reappearing as different soldiers ? ? 
doo doo doo doo . 
[ "" twilight zone "" theme , or opinion of movie . 
you be the judge . ] 
"
"-1","i think that saying that the x-files is one of this summer's most anticipated films is safe . 
for five years , "" the x-files "" television show has developed a dedicated fan culture , whose rabid devotion to the series rivals that of "" star trek "" fans . 
the premise of both the movie and the television series is two fbi agents who investigate the paranormal ; fox mulder ( david duchovny ) is the avid believer whose quest to find the truth about extraterrestrial life borders on the paranoid , and dana scully ( gillian anderson ) is the scientific skeptic trying to find a rational explanation to mulder's flights of fancy . 
outlining the plot of the x-files movie is virtually impossible , since to be general would result in confusion , yet to be specific would give too much away . 
nevertheless , i will try . 
 "" the black ooze , "" and extraterrestrial , virus-like substance is threatening earth . 
a "" shadow government "" is aware of this , but tries to cover-up the alien existence . 
mulder and scully know "" the truth is out there , "" and so try to expose both the invasion and the cover-up . 
there are three central questions i have heard asked about this movie : 1 . 
will those who don't watch the series be able to understand the movie ? 
yes . 
isolated as an individual text , the x-files can stand alone . 
they have given enough background for anyone , familiar with the show or not , to understand the movie . 
although some of the secondary characters' histories may confuse the uninitiated , those characters are not essential to the film . 
this is a major problem : they trot out token secondary characters from the series out for an appearance and then disappear just as quickly . 
why bring superintendent skinner into the picture in the first place , and then have him sat silently on an fbi internal affairs committee ? 
why bring in "" the lone gunmen , "" three computer geek conspiracy theorists , for an even briefer appearance ? 
these characters are recurrent on the series , and their appearance in the film was met with whoops from the audience ( suggesting their popularity among fans - actually most of the audience could pass for "" the lone gunmen "" ) . 
still , then they vanish just as quickly . 
2 . the television show never gives us any answers . 
will the movie actually explain some things ? 
yes . 
in the x-files we get a fairly complete history of "" the black ooze , "" what it is and what it wants . 
we finally get some understanding of the motivations behind the "" shadow government . "" 
there are even some subtle tie-ins with contemporary ufo-ology , including the "" greys "" and the roswell crash of 1947 . 
3 . is the movie any good ? 
no . the x-files is a dreadful movie and shows some fundamental problems with writer/creator chris carter's talents and the relationship between cinema and television . 
first off , the screenplay by series creator chris carter is sloppy and cliched . 
after approximately forty-five minutes ( the length of a television episode minus the commercials ) , the pace drops to a snail's crawl . 
not long after that point , when carter attempts to answer some questions we have had about the series , we wish he had not . 
the explanations are so trite and ridiculous that one would have preferred it had carter not explained quite so much . 
i am willing to suspend my disbelief a fair bit , but the absurdity carter wants me to swallow was just too much . 
breaking the suspension of disbelief destroys the movie - and listening to other fans leave the cinema , maybe the series too . 
the explanations are not only absurd , they are tired and unoriginal . 
the extraterrestrials breed and gestate like those from the alien series , and their craft looks like a leftover set piece from independence day . 
note that the alien movies , id4 , and the x-files are all from 20thcentury fox - a studio that is beginning to cannibalize itself i think . 
the x-files is noteworthy for being the only movie based on a television series to be produced while the series was still running . 
in comparing the movie and television series certain aspects of the respective media emerge . 
the avoidance of the series to answer the questions it raised annoyed and frustrated many people . 
however , i rather liked that about the series . 
television allows you to impose as much , or as little , meaning on a show as you want . 
it is the proverbial "" blank screen "" which we project our minds on . 
meaning on television is open and ambiguous ; it is the nature of the medium . 
cinema , on the other hand , is the opposite . 
it projects onto us the filmmakers mind . 
we can , in some films , fill the textual gaps ourselves , but that almost never happens in an american film . 
meaning , in cinema , needs to be self-contained and determined . 
so , when the x-files made that jump from small to big screen , carter needed to take into consideration the differences in the medium as well . 
he did not . 
by making explicit , what the television show left implicit , carter reveals the limits of his creativity and skill . 
when they say that "" fans "" make a tv show , it is not far from the truth . 
on television , fan culture must impose its meanings on the text because there is nothing there . 
how true that is when we see the "" explicit "" x-files - there is nothing there . 
the following was printed in the st . john's express , st . john's , newfoundland , canada . 
all views are the authors , but copyright is held by robinson-blackmore , 1998 . 
&nbsp ; 
movie review by mikel j . koven 
&nbsp ; i think that saying that the x-files is one of this summer's most anticipated films is safe . &nbsp ; 
for five years , "" the x-files "" television show has developed a dedicated fan culture , whose rabid devotion to the series rivals that of "" star trek "" fans . 
&nbsp ; the premise of both the movie and the television series is two fbi agents who investigate the paranormal ; fox mulder ( david duchovny ) is the avid believer whose quest to find the truth about extraterrestrial life borders on the paranoid , and dana scully ( gillian anderson ) is the scientific skeptic trying to find a rational explanation to mulder's flights of fancy . 
&nbsp ; outlining the plot of the x-files movie is virtually impossible , since to be general would result in confusion , yet to be specific would give too much away . &nbsp ; 
nevertheless , i will try . &nbsp ; 
 "" the black ooze , "" and extraterrestrial , virus-like substance is threatening earth . &nbsp ; 
a "" shadow government "" is aware of this , but tries to cover-up the alien existence . &nbsp ; 
mulder and scully know "" the truth is out there , "" and so try to expose both the invasion and the cover-up . 
&nbsp ; there are three central questions i have heard asked about this movie : &nbsp ; 1 . &nbsp ; 
will those who don't watch the series be able to understand the movie ? &nbsp ; 
yes . &nbsp ; 
isolated as an individual text , the x-files can stand alone . &nbsp ; 
they have given enough background for anyone , familiar with the show or not , to understand the movie . &nbsp ; 
although some of the secondary characters' histories may confuse the uninitiated , those characters are not essential to the film . &nbsp ; 
this is a major problem : they trot out token secondary characters from the series out for an appearance and then disappear just as quickly . 
&nbsp ; why bring superintendent skinner into the picture in the first place , and then have him sat silently on an fbi internal affairs committee ? &nbsp ; 
why bring in "" the lone gunmen , "" three computer geek conspiracy theorists , for an even briefer appearance ? &nbsp ; 
these characters are recurrent on the series , and their appearance in the film was met with whoops from the audience ( suggesting their popularity among fans - actually most of the audience could pass for "" the lone gunmen "" ) . &nbsp ; 
still , then they vanish just as quickly . 
&nbsp ; 2 . &nbsp ; 
the television show never gives us any answers . &nbsp ; 
will the movie actually explain some things ? &nbsp ; 
yes . &nbsp ; 
in the x-files we get a fairly complete history of "" the black ooze , "" what it is and what it wants . &nbsp ; 
we finally get some understanding of the motivations behind the "" shadow government . "" &nbsp ; 
there are even some subtle tie-ins with contemporary ufo-ology , including the "" greys "" and the roswell crash of 1947 . 
&nbsp ; 3 . &nbsp ; 
is the movie any good ? &nbsp ; 
no . &nbsp ; the x-files is a dreadful movie and shows some fundamental problems with writer/creator chris carter's talents and the relationship between cinema and television . 
&nbsp ; first off , the screenplay by series creator chris carter is sloppy and cliched . &nbsp ; 
after approximately forty-five minutes ( the length of a television episode minus the commercials ) , the pace drops to a snail's crawl . &nbsp ; 
not long after that point , when carter attempts to answer some questions we have had about the series , we wish he had not . &nbsp ; 
the explanations are so trite and ridiculous that one would have preferred it had carter not explained quite so much . &nbsp ; 
i am willing to suspend my disbelief a fair bit , but the absurdity carter wants me to swallow was just too much . &nbsp ; 
breaking the suspension of disbelief destroys the movie - and listening to other fans leave the cinema , maybe the series too . 
&nbsp ; the explanations are not only absurd , they are tired and unoriginal . &nbsp ; 
the extraterrestrials breed and gestate like those from the alien series , and their craft looks like a leftover set piece from independence day . &nbsp ; 
note that the alien movies , id4 , and the x-files are all from 20thcentury fox - a studio that is beginning to cannibalize itself i think . 
&nbsp ; the x-files is noteworthy for being the only movie based on a television series to be produced while the series was still running . &nbsp ; 
in comparing the movie and television series certain aspects of the respective media emerge . 
&nbsp ; the avoidance of the series to answer the questions it raised annoyed and frustrated many people . &nbsp ; 
however , i rather liked that about the series . &nbsp ; 
television allows you to impose as much , or as little , meaning on a show as you want . &nbsp ; 
it is the proverbial "" blank screen "" which we project our minds on . &nbsp ; 
meaning on television is open and ambiguous ; it is the nature of the medium . 
&nbsp ; cinema , on the other hand , is the opposite . &nbsp ; 
it projects onto us the filmmakers mind . &nbsp ; 
we can , in some films , fill the textual gaps ourselves , but that almost never happens in an american film . &nbsp ; 
meaning , in cinema , needs to be self-contained and determined . 
&nbsp ; so , when the x-files made that jump from small to big screen , carter needed to take into consideration the differences in the medium as well . &nbsp ; 
he did not . &nbsp ; 
by making explicit , what the television show left implicit , carter reveals the limits of his creativity and skill . 
&nbsp ; when they say that "" fans "" make a tv show , it is not far from the truth . &nbsp ; 
on television , fan culture must impose its meanings on the text because there is nothing there . &nbsp ; 
how true that is when we see the "" explicit "" x-files - there is nothing there . 
"
"-1","contrary to popular belief , not every single foregin film released to an american market is a masterpiece . 
some of them aren't even good . 
some examples of this principle are the aboslutely dreadful "" un indien dans la ville "" ( presented as "" little indian , big city , "" and remade into that crap tim allen flick , "" jungle2jungle "" ) , and this . 
what could have been a clever little sex comedy turns into one mess of a french flick . 
 "" french twist "" ( the "" cool "" american title , not the real one , which was "" gazon maudit , "" literally meaning "" twisted ground , "" or something like that ) deals with a married couple with kids , and the intrusion of a stranger who kinda screws things up for them . 
loli and alain chabat ( victoria abril and alain chabat ) are not exactly happily married . 
always on business trips , alain chabat more than once cheats on her , and she eventually finds out . 
and one day , she meets a butch mechanic , marijo ( the co-writer/director josiane balasko ) , and they two kinda hit it off . 
so she decides she will get back at alain chabat by doing the obvious : sleeping with marijo . 
but she soons starts to not only fall in love with marijo , but she's also realizes she's still in love with alain chabat . 
so , of course , she does the obvious from that : she decides to keep them both . 
she'll be ( and sleep ) with each of them for 3 days each , then on sunday , she'll rest by herself . 
after all , she needs it if she's gonna have more sex than sylvia kristel . 
the film goes on for over an hour and a half , through stupidity after stupidity , moronic twist after moronic twist , and soon there's the little ironic ( ! ! ! ) 
ending . 
i know it's a completely different culture , and i'm quite familiar with the french and their cinema , but this is just bad . 
none of the characters are more intelligent than peter stormare in "" fargo "" ( a movie where stupid characters were backed up to make a point ) , and any action they do is pretty much just to get a hopeful chuckle from the audience . 
what's shocking is this was not only one of france's biggest hits , but it was nominated for a lot of cesars ( french equivalent of oscars ) . 
the writing and directing is really the big problem with it . 
josiane balasko does a good acting job with her role , but her little sex comedy isn't very humerous , entertaining , or even deep at all . 
even woody allen's not-very-good "" a midsummer night's sex comedy "" is intelligent , well-written , and possesses some depth . 
this is shallow , unfunny , and pretty annoying to watch . 
the film moves at the pace of a snail , and is damn-near painful to watch . 
thank god for the fast forward button . 
the acting , however , isn't bad at all . 
the actors do the best they can with the bad material , and victoria abril is pretty likable despite the script ( and the fact that she's stupid enough to try to divide herself over two people when she has kids ) . 
and alain chabat has some funny moments as the neurotic husband . 
but "" french twist "" is just pretty lame . 
it's not overly horrible , and has a couple very , very , very brief moments . 
but it's just a really crap film , and an example of an ill-advised distribution of a foreign film . 
"
"-1","i can see a decent sports movie struggling to break free of oliver stone's `any given sunday' . 
it's an entertaining movie that offers both insight and excitement into the rock-em , sock-em profession of pro football . 
unfortunately , the director seems to have only one priority on his mind : sprucing up the film with an assortment of fancy camera maneuvers . 
in altering each frame with quick-flash photography and dizzying , in-your-face editing , stone appears to have completely ignored the matter of plausible character development and football politics . 
we see glimpses of greatness , but `any given sunday' has its agenda all tangled in technical gobbledy-gook . 
it grows tiresome and monotonous . 
yes , stone has pulled a brian depalma . 
matters of importance are pushed aside right from the get-go . 
tony d'amato ( al pacino ) , coach of the struggling miami sharks , finds his team stuck in a losing rut . 
aging quarterback cap rooney ( dennis quaid ) appears to be losing his touch , and d'amato can't seem to ignite any passion in his squad . 
when cap is injured on the field , and after a patch of unlikely events occur , third-string qb willie beaman ( jamie foxx ) is brought into the game . 
once in the huddle ( and this becomes an in-game ritual ) , beaman horks all over the field . 
nerves , you see . 
eventually though , the ancy youngster wins the game for his teammates , sparking his rise to fame in the football world - the endorsements , the music videos , etc . - and stone straps us in for the jolting ride of behind-the-scenes stress and fury that the business is apparently like . 
and i believe it . 
there is some intriguing insight posed , but in the big scheme of things , stone fumbles the ball . 
the problem with the director's visual approach is this : he uses extravagant editing devices when a more conventional approach would have been appropriate . 
football is an exciting game to watch , but stone seems to think dizzying the audience with an assault on the senses will only add to the adrenaline rush . 
i guess he is mistaken . 
`any given sunday' is a visual kaleidoscope that leaves the audience in a frustrated stupor more frequently than it excites them . 
many football fans ( including one i attended with ) are liable to be disappointed with the `ultra-stylish' way stone has decided to present the game . 
in return , a three-star film becomes unfortunately degraded due to the director's tampering . 
in welcome scenes when the visual pummeling comes to a break , this actually shows decent character development and interaction . 
for instance , heated returns between d'amato and feisty young owner christina pagniacci ( cameron diaz ) are enjoyable to watch . 
there is also a solid performance from jamie foxx , who experiments with great success in his first trek into dramatic territory . 
the stellar supporting cast includes matthew modine , aaron eckhart , lauren holly , ann-margret and charlton heston ( in an extraordinarily brief appearance ) . 
unfortunately , too many big names are wasted - a typical demise for a film with such a large and experienced cast . 
pacino makes some interesting progress with his character . 
you begin to identify with coach d'amato and the morals he is striving for . . . . 
but i often felt he was just another play thing stone could weave in and out of his editing dynamics . 
`any given sunday' is a watchable but disappointing sports film in which plot and characters take a back seat to excessive filmmaking technique . 
and a very distant back seat , at that . 
"
"-1","this well-conceived but ultra sugary coming-of-age film is not for everyone , and i include myself as one of those who found it too sappy for my digestion . 
joseph cross ( joshua beal ) is a 10-year-old who is saddened by the recent loss of his grandfather ( loggia ) to bone marrow cancer . 
loggia is wonderful in relating to the child in such a wholesome manner , it almost saves this film from drowning in syrup . 
the beals are like a sitcom idyllic family , where everyone is just so nice and affluent , and properly religious without being fanatical . 
the beals , the father ( denis leary ) and his wife ( dana delany ) , are both successful doctors ; julia stiles plays joshua's older sister , needling her younger brother but also showing that she really cares about him . 
this is a family seemingly conceived in heaven , but living in south philadelphia , sending their children to a well-run catholic school . 
joshua , the protagonist and the narrator of this yarn , is a handsome , sweet , intelligent , friendly , and endearing child , who does well in school , relates to the nuns and priests , and talks politely to his well-meaning parents . 
all this mawkish interplay makes it almost too nauseating to watch . 
the plot arises when joseph has a problem coping with the death of his beloved grandfather , who promised to be with him forever . 
his answer is to search for god , pretty heady stuff for a youngster his age to do , but that's just the way it is , sometimes . 
this search for god takes us nowhere because , as his friend david ( reifsnyder ) says , where can you look for him if he doesn't exist . 
now , that's a smart kid . 
but joseph looks for him in the usual places , and what better place than to start in the parochial school he attends . 
one of his teachers is the kind-hearted sister terry ( rosie o'donnell ) , who wears a philly baseball hat and equates the jesus stories with baseball , making him the clean-up hitter , and in my opinion , if she wasn't a big tv star , would have a vocation as a parochial school teacher , she is that convincing . 
throughout the film , she is saved from answering any tough ( sic ! ) 
question about god by the bell , as it rings to end the class . 
nothing much happens in the search for god , there is no parody of the catholic school ; though a visiting cardinal is found by the boy not to be able to talk to god , but this is gentle stuff , no real criticism or search for god is attempted . 
what comes next into play is some hollywood hokum , which is designed not to upset anyone , as joseph has a reassuring encounter with a real , live angel , a blond little boy his own age and dressed like him in the catholic school uniform who wears the innocuous smile of a goody-goody . 
the film ends as this angel ( ! ! ! ) 
tells him his grandfather is all right . 
his quest is ended , as apparently angels don't have wings and are approachable ; and god , well , . . . 
maybe that's for another film down the road . 
this part of the film was the final straw for me , i couldn't swallow any more goo . 
as this film flopped commercially , his next one , the sixth sense , pared down the schmaltz and came up smelling like a rose . 
though if you look through the cleverness of both scripts , this director is loaded with hokum , all he has learned how to do , is hide the hokum better . 
well , god bless him , if he can do that . 
this is a nice family picture and there is room for it in hollywood . 
it's just too bad that it had nothing relevent or even truthful to say about death , children in a parochial elementary school , or for that matter , about god . 
and that family of his , they're too good for words . 
yet the film meant well and its benign message had its heart in the right place . 
for those who want to see something soft , without a bite to it , this is the one . 
"
"-1"," "" battlefield earth "" is the best comedy of the year . 
it has to be . 
the other prospect is just too horrifying to consider . 
bad movie syndrome struck me again , so after witnessing how much "" battlefield earth "" has been proclaimed a train wreck in both critical and popular circles , i felt the masochistic urge to see the disaster first-hand . 
is it as bad as advertised ? 
oh yes , very much so . 
the plot is incomprehensible . 
the acting is atrocious . 
the special effects are mediocre . 
the action is dull . 
the implausibilities are legion . 
the dialogue is cringe-inducing . 
the whole package is funny when it wants to be serious and irritating when it wants to be funny . 
i don't even want to continue reviewing this movie ; i'd like to purge the atrocity from my mind as soon as possible , but you probably want to read my thrashing in all its sarcastic glory , so here it is : 
the premise is basically a rip-off of "" planet of the apes , "" only minus the apes and philosophical discussion , and plus a race of evil aliens from the planet psychlo . 
the year is 3000 , the psychlos have conquered earth , and the human population has been enslaved . 
only a handful of humans escaped to radiation-rich areas to escape the aliens ; they live out their lives in fear . 
one man , johnny goodboy ( i know , i know ) tyler ( barry pepper ) , ventures to the outworld and is captured by the psychlos . 
there he confronts the psychlo head of security : a big , ugly , klingon-looking creature called terl ( john travolta ) . 
pressed into slavery , johnny vows to lead a revolution and take the planet back . 
meanwhile , terl is faced with his own problems : he has recently learned that he's stuck living on earth ( which he hates ) for the rest of his career because he pissed off his boss by sleeping with the big man's daughter . 
he decides to give johnny knowledge of the psychlo language and technology ( this is where the plot gets ridiculous . 
 . 
 . ) 
so the "" man-animal "" can lead a mining expedition into places the psychlos can't go . 
terl then plans to keep the mined gold for himself . 
of course , his plan doesn't work . 
so many things wrong with this movie -- where to begin ? 
how about with travolta , whose hollywood clout brought about this , the cinematic version of scientology guru l . ron hubbard's sci-fi novel ? 
early previews for "" battlefield earth , "" with constant shots of a makeup-laden travolta cackling like lex luthor , had me ( and several audience members ) remarking , "" what the hell is travolta thinking ? "" 
the movie did nothing to stem such remarks . 
all that ridiculous cackling he did in the trailers is in full force here : terl cackles after nearly every line , and so does every other psychlo . 
of course , this makes every scene hilariously overwrought , no more so than when the script clumsily stumbles into political commentary . 
the psychlos are probably supposed to be some kind of satire of corporate america , but ceos generally don't laugh maniacally after denying pay raises to their employees . 
 ( "" you were going to be promoted -- but now you're not ! 
fwahahahahahahahaha ! ! ! ! ! "" ) 
it's no big surprise terl loses to the humans -- he's an idiot . 
he breaks every kind of supervillain rule in the book . 
he underestimates his enemies , assuming he'll win just because he's smarter . 
 ( he uses the word "" leverage "" like some sort of scientologist mantra . ) 
not content to go the james bond villain route of explaining his plans to the hero , he hooks him up to a machine that gives him knowledge of all the psychlos' language and technology . 
 ( why this machine is even around in the first place is beyond me . ) 
he then appears shocked that johnny points a gun at him . 
no wonder this guy never got his promotion . 
the plot inconsistencies are too numerous to mention . 
why do the psychlos build an earth base in which both they and the human slaves must wear little breathing apparatuses to survive ? 
how come the psychlos are wasting their time mining for gold when the doors of fort knox are wide open ? 
how in the world did all those fighter jets survive sitting in a hangar for 1 , 000 years ? 
and how do all these previously brain-dead cavemen learn to fly them so quickly ? 
there's a whole lot more to scratch one's head about in "" battlefield earth . "" 
bring a scorecard to track the plot holes . 
director roger christian shoots "" battlefield earth "" in the most distracting way possible , tilting nearly every shot sideways for no discernible reason . 
all the characters appear to be standing on the walls , and it's awfully difficult to watch a movie when you must tilt your head just to watch ordinary passages of dialogue . 
the action sequences are atrociously edited , every one turned into an endless slow-motion parade that drains all potential excitement . 
are these things really so hard to construct ? 
my respect for supposed "" lightweight "" action directors has grown by leaps and bounds after witnessing in "" battlefield earth "" how badly an action sequence can be shot . 
this movie is an absolute headache . 
it's not just the shot selection and editing ; the movie , quite frankly , makes no sense . 
for most of "" battlefield earth's "" running time , i just didn't know what was happening . 
it didn't have anything to do with me finding the events stupid or illogical ( though they certainly are ) -- i really had no idea what the hell was going on . 
when i pieced the plot together later , it didn't look any better . 
here's how much of a disaster this is : "" battlefield earth "" is already the worst movie of the year , and it's going to take something really , really inept to top it . 
the only thing we can take comfort in about the film is that no one will be suckered into joining the church of scientology because of it . 
in fact , i'd think that hubbard's cult would want to distance themselves from this bomb as fast as possible . 
that'll teach me to give into bad movie syndrome again . 
"
"-1","long time buddies and neil diamond tribute band members wayne ( steve zahn , "" happy , texas "" ) and j . d . ( jack black , "" high fidelity "" ) watch in horror as third mate darren silverman ( jason biggs , "" american pie "" ) disappears under the thumb of his new fiance judith , ( amanda peet , "" the whole nine yards "" ) a controlling psychiatrist . 
they're doubly troubled when the return of darren's 'one and only love' sandy perkins ( amanda detmer , "" final destination "" ) returns to their home town but doesn't cause a ripple in darren's devotion to judith . 
there's only one thing wayne and j . d . can think of doing - they kidnap judith and fake her death in "" saving silverman . "" 
written by hank nelken and greg depaul after seeing a friend engaged to the wrong woman , "" saving silverman "" is directed by 'hit comedy director' dennis dugan of such films as "" big daddy , "" "" brain donors "" and "" problem child . "" 
it's a dismal , third-rate farrelly brothers rip off that attempts to milk humor from such inspired bits of whimsy as having darren's love interest come from a family of circus freaks and be about to become a nun . 
gross out gags include a visualization of darren getting butt cheek implants . 
 "" saving silverman "" is almost saved by stars zahn and black . 
these two are so comically talented they can take bad material and still deliver the goods . 
they're in "" animal house "" mode while the rest of the film trawls along and comes up empty . 
jason biggs can attribute his entire career to the luck of having been cast in the smash hit "" american pie . "" 
peet shows some physical moves but no flair for comedy here while detmer slaps a brave , sweet smile onto her face and soldiers through . 
r . lee ermey ( "" full metal jacket "" ) is one note in an embarrassing performance as a psychopathic ex-football coach . 
neil diamond appears at the film's climax as himself and miraculously enlivens the proceedings by belting out some of his old standards . 
"
"-1","well if you are up for stellar effects then this is the movie for you . 
because thats all that there really is . . . . 
i found that after watching this movie it had many many gaps and flaws in simple logic in the plot . 
for one thing , a white leading actor who has a black daughter does leave some curiosity . . . . 
i am not saying that this isn't possible . . 
but it does leave one to wonder . . . i 
know i did . 
another thing is that this movie has sections which are painfully stretched out . . . . 
and certain scenes are repeated essentially but with slight variations . 
there was one scene that should have been short . . . 
but it was horribly stretched and somewhere in the middle of it i found myself thinking . . 
ok enough already get on with it . 
there are also times where you have to wonder why things happen the way they do . . . 
things just magically happen and there is no prelude or anything of the sort . . . 
another thing that i noticed towards the end was that some characters just vanished without a trace but they were fairly major through most of the beginning . 
this movie is also very predictable . . . 
you can almost tell the final story somewhere in the middle and you definitely know what will happen at a given moment . . 
granted this is hard to omit but here its just blatant it sits there and stares at you . 
also some of the things that happen are a little too predictable and several cliques are repeated . . . 
it gets boring at times to tell you the truth . . . 
even though there is still action going on . 
another little point i might add is that the main character is supposed to be a quiet chaos mathematician not some shoot them up type of hero . 
some of the characters are not proper for their roles . 
the acting is fine but the characters just don't seem to add up . 
if i was to base my review totally on the plot then i wouldn't rate this movie too highly but that's just the thing this movie isn't just the plot , its the whole package and this package is really well done . 
the whole movie is really well done and looks really good and if one was to overlook the flaws in the plot and characters then this is really a movie . 
the special effects are just amazing , you can't tell that the dinosaurs are created it looks like they were there live , in a few instances of course you know its fake but there are other times that you just wouldn't be able to say that the creature wasn't there during filming , extinct or not . 
another thing is the destruction scenes . . . 
wow , those were masterpieces . . 
well some of them were they were well choreographed and along with the dino's make this one of the reasons to see this movie . 
this movie is fairly long but it is action packed so it should do well in the box office . . 
unfortunately it will take away from fifth element but alas what can we do . . 
i may be too cynical for my age but this movie is only worth seeing for the effects and for it few funny moments . . 
go see it in a matinee if you really must see it its not worth full price if you ask me . 
one little side note , although my opinion of this movie may not have been the best the way that this movie was marketed and how many theaters it was shown in toronto this opening weekend is nothing short of stupid , there were 10 theater movie theaters that were playing this movie around the clock i think that some people really want money badly . . . . 
and i think that this type of activity hurts the movie industry let the other movies also have a chance . . . . 
you know any movie with that much play would succeed even if it was the worst movie ever made . . . . . 
i thought i'd put this here to deflate the movie hype about this flick . . . 
its not that bad a movie but its not that great either hope you people realize this . 
"
"-1","when a film is produced on a shoestring budget by a couple of hardworking filmmakers and when it tells the story of a genuine tragedy , the easy path for a reviewer who hated the movie is to give it a pass . 
toss out your usual objectivity , ignore how many times you checked your watch while viewing it , forget how unbearable it was to sit through , and find some meaningless way to compliment it . 
this , of course , will be of no service to your readers , but at least you'll avoid the hate mail from the movie's fans . 
thus it is with a heavy heart that i review the movie paulina ( not to be confused with the recent movie paulie about a talking parrot ) . 
directed by vicky funari as a labor of intense love - she spent the last one third of her life on film - the movie blends documentary footage with historic and fanciful recreations to relate the bitterly sad and true story of paulina cruz suarez . 
paulina was a maid in vicky's household when vicky was young . 
i got to learn the film's background when i attended a screening in which the two women who made it were present . 
for those without such context , the reaction to the film may be that it is a parody of a bad indie film . 
the acting is amateurish , the story is maudlin , and it has all the visual appeal of a bad home movie . 
grainy and overexposed , the movie , shot on 16mm film and videotape , has little to recommend it . 
confusingly composed , the movie jumps about jarringly as it tells its story . 
quite bloody at times , the story , full of horrific images , seems designed to shock and repulse us . 
why else would you include a scene with a completely nude and bloody 8-year-old paulina ? 
another scene has a teenage paulina being fondled on a bus by the man sitting next to her . 
in retaliation , she bites off part of his finger . 
this covers the both of them in a bucket of blood . 
the passengers on the bus then view the girl in their minds as everything from saint to sinner . 
one , for example , sees her as an aztec priestess holding out a large heart that she had just cut from a body . 
the lugubrious tale has paulina being raped and beaten . 
certainly she had to endure a miserable life . 
but that does not guarantee that a movie about her will necessarily being good . 
i felt trapped in the theater watching it . 
only the opportunity to talk with the filmmakers afterwards made the movie bearable . 
paulina runs 1 : 28 . 
the film is in spanish with english subtitles . 
it is not rated but would be an r for violence and nudity and would be acceptable for older teenagers . 
"
"-1","in this year's summer movie preview issue of _entertainment_weekly_ , theresa connelly described her writing-directing debut , _polish_wedding_ , as "" a child that did not quite become the child i thought it would . "" 
one wonders what exactly she originally had in mind for this jumbled film , a comedy-drama that appears doomed at its most basic elements . 
the family at the center of _polish_wedding_ is the pzoniaks , which consists of mother jadzia ( lena olin ) , father bolek ( gabriel byrne ) , sole daughter hala ( claire danes ) and four sons of varying degrees of facelessness . 
it's a large family , but there's not a sympathetic one in the whole bunch , certainly not in the primary trio . 
jadzia takes pride in building and maintaining a home and family , but she's kind of a hypocrite since she's carrying on an affair with a businessman rade serbedzija ) . 
her excuse for her affair is neglect from bolek , who is such a passive wimp that one cannot connect with his sadness and frustration . 
also , how could he possibly pay so little attention to the saucy , sexy jadzia ? 
hala is a spoiled , self-centered high school dropout whose reckless sexual experimentation predictably leads to pregnancy . 
with such an unappealing set of characters , it's no surprise that _polish_wedding_'s plot complications are far from involving . 
naturally , jadzia and bolek would like hala to marry the young cop , russell schuster ( adam trese ) , who fathered the child , but he refuses to make such a commitment . 
ho-hum . 
another complication , involving the decidedly un-virginal hala being selected to crown a statue of the virgin mary , is first played for laughs and then , inexplicably , as a profound statement in the film's climax--which , ironically , is funnier than any of the film's lame attempts at humor , such as a painfully labored slapstick attempt where jadzia leads her sons in a charge to beat up russell . 
that scene is but one in a number of writing miscues by connelly . 
the jadzia-bolek conflict is resolved in an overly pat way not unfamiliar to sitcom viewers . 
the hala-russell conflict isn't resolved in as contrived a manner , but their ultimate resolution will leave viewers wondering if they had missed something . 
and then there's some atrocious dialogue , which i am sure was not supposed to be as ridiculous as they sound : "" look at all these pickles . 
just looking at them gives me such great sadness . "" 
as misguided as _polish_wedding_ is , the affair is something of a letdown , considering the strong performances by byrne , danes , and especially the fiery olin . 
they obviously believed in connelly and her material--a faith that audiences will be hard-pressed to share . 
"
"-1","several days after having seen this movie , i'm still trying to determine what director christopher guest , a man whose sense of humor i usually appreciate , found funny in either the concept or the execution of almost heroes . 
this is a dreadful motion picture ? a lowbrow example of period piece comedy with terrible production values and an exceptionally poor laughs-to-jokes ratio . 
there's a kind of desperation in the movie's approach to humor that reveals the film makers' uncertainty about how entertaining the material is ; the manic style betrays itself as a last-ditch attempt to hide the flaws of a failed script . 
the premise doesn't sound especially amusing to begin with ? almost heroes tells the tale of two explorers , the effeminate leslie edwards ( matthew perry ) and the uncouth bartholomew hunt ( chris farley ) , who are racing lewis and clark on the trip to the american northwest . 
edwards and hunt are accompanied by the kinds of weirdoes we find in road movies ( albeit of the early-19th century variety ) , including a frenchman named guy fontenot who claims to speak hundreds of languages ( none of which prove to be useful ) , a pretty indian maiden who turns into the obligatory love interest , and a bizarre man who suffers a series of debilitating injuries . 
along the way , the intrepid explorers encounter bears , bald eagles , aging native american warriors , and a conquistador named hildago ( kevin dunn ) who raves about his beautiful hair . 
the explorers' trek takes them through forests , across the snow-capped rocky mountains , and over a waterfall . 
this setup leads to a lot of shouting , a great deal of lunacy , and very few laughs . 
farley engages in his usual shtick of falling down and bellowing , but , aside from an momentarily diverting confrontation with an eagle , his heart doesn't seem to be in it . 
matthew perry , one of the stars of tv's friends ( who had some modest success in the romantic comedy , fools rush in ) is badly miscast . 
as a foil for farley and an antidote to his runaway energy , perry lacks the necessary edge of the proverbial straight man . 
i'm not a big fan of david spade , and i didn't like tommy boy , but at least he and farley worked well together . 
as far as the supporting players go , none of them makes more than a fleeting impression . 
eugene levy is wasted , and kevin dunn is about as interesting here as he is in godzilla . 
frankly , it's a disappointment to see something this dumb and ugly come from christopher guest , the brilliant comic force behind such films as this is spinal tap , the big picture , and waiting for guffman . 
although guest gets the costumes right , this nearly-inconsequential success is no substitute for the weak script and unfunny execution . 
the special effects , such as they are , are execrable . 
for an example of some really poor blue screen work , look at the scenes where the characters are shooting the rapids ( they're obviously getting buckets of water thrown on them ) and where farley is being carried off by an eagle . 
even though farley didn't have the most stellar of acting careers , he doesn't deserve the kind of unfortunate epitaph offered by almost heroes . 
while some of the more outrageous attempts at humor may coax a few guffaws from 12-year old boys , the level of comedy in almost heroes falls far below the level of sophomoric . 
farley fans who see this film as a way to say goodbye should be commended for their loyalty , since it takes real stamina to stay seated for the full running length of this cinematic torture session . 
"
"-1","when i was nine , i started buying the coolest toy figures in my local department store . 
masters of the universe was the pinnacle of what i was after for action figures : they combined science fiction and fantasy , had cool names like mekanek and stinkor and each came with its own little comic book to read . 
of course , the animated series produced by filmation remains one of the most wildly successful television products in world history . 
given the tremendous success of the toys and the cartoon ( not to mention its moderately successful spin-off she-ra : princess of power ) , it was inevitable that a production company would put two and two together , come with the result of "" trillions "" and make a live-action masters movie . 
let's be blunt : masters of the universe is a very bad movie . 
the story is painfully dull and mind-numbingly cliched ( hands up who * wouldn't * guess he-man and skeletor take their fight into the real world ) and is acted out by either incredibly untalented actors ( dolph lundgren as he-man for one ) or good actors ( james tolkan , meg foster ) given such awful characters and dialogue that they can't help but seem terrible . 
it is extremely clear that someone making the movie wanted it to be as good as star wars . 
we have the alien bounty hunters , the desert skif technology , stormtrooper lookalikes and a musical score so reminiscent of john williams that "" deja vu "" is too polite a term to use in describing it . 
 "" blatant uninspired ripoff "" would appear more appropriate . 
tv fans might want to check out courtney cox ( monica in friends ) and robert duncan mcneill ( lt paris in star trek : voyager ) , very early in their careers and not doing to well in them either . 
so in the face of such mindless sub-mediocrity , is there anything to make masters of the universe worth watching at all ? 
yes , there is . 
one incredible good reason . 
his name is frank langella . 
langella has always been one of the underrated actors of hollywood , appearing in countless films over the years . 
here he plays skeletor , the villain of the piece . 
dressed in opulent black velvet robes and bearing a skull for a face , he is one part darth vader , one part emperor and two parts grim reaper . 
given this character , langella falls right into it with style and precision . 
skeletor is believable , interesting and manages to tread the fine line between being a homage to the past and startlingly original in his own right . 
masters of the universe . 
i remember loving it when i was eleven . 
at twenty one it's difficult to see why . 
but , as i said , it is blessed with a superlative villain who makes the entire thing worth the tedium of the remainder . 
besides , this year marks the film's 10th anniversary . 
watch it with some friends for a good laugh and celebrate . 
"
"-1","in "" gia "" , angelina jolie plays the titular character , the first so-called supermodel . 
and right there you have the biggest hurdle this movie had to overcome ( in my eyes , anyway ) . 
i just don't see how the life of a model is worthy of a two hour film . 
despite this , i kept an open mind when i began watching the movie . 
sadly , though , my fears were realized . 
it's just not possible to make an interesting , full-length film about a person who spends their days wearing different clothes . 
the movie follows the rise and fall of gia ( no last name ) , a tumultuous woman who doesn't particularly enjoy the world of fashion . 
she becomes famous more quickly than she can handle , and finds herself hooked on drugs and on a woman she cannot have . 
the last hour of the film is just one scene after another of gia getting high , losing a job , and going into rehab . 
this formula is repeated several times , and i really got tired of it . 
in general , i tend to dislike movies featuring heavy drug use . 
no because it offends me or anything like that ; it just bores me . 
quite frankly , i don't see the appeal , so when a director shows me a point-of-view shot of a junkie , complete with tipsy camera angles and echoing voices , i am left somewhat unimpressed . 
the first hour of the film , though , was actually quite engaging . 
we see gia as she is discovered and moves to new york with her boyfriend . 
these early scenes were interesting . 
we're shown the fashion world through a newcomers eyes , and it was a perspective i hadn't seen before . 
the movie begins to go downhill , however , once gia becomes an established model . 
>from that point , i lost all interest in the movie and was counting the minutes before it would end . 
it all seemed so excessive . 
fine , so gia had a drug problem , does this really need to dominate the film ? 
couldn't the same effect have been had with a five or ten minute montage of scenes featuring gia experimenting with drugs ? 
or perhaps this film is meant to be a warning to aspiring models not to get into the drug world . 
quite possibly , although since i have no desire to become a model , this warning is lost on me . 
as i stated at the beginning of this review , i simply don't see how the life of a model is worthy of a feature-length motion picture . 
what do they do that warrants a movie ? 
strut their stuff for thousands of dollars an hour ? 
i suppose the same could be said about making movies about baseball players , for example , but at least somebody like lou gehrig led an interesting life . 
gia did not . 
and by the end of the film , all i knew about gia for sure was that she hated modelling , was bi-sexual , and was heavily into drugs . 
not exactly a meaningful contribution to society , as far as i'm concerned . 
"
"-1","talk about beating a dead horse ! 
when home alone was released in 1990 , it was a breath of fresh air , and the final box office tally indicated how much audiences appreciated a genuinely-funny family film . 
the unexpectedly high gross guaranteed a sequel , so , two years later , we were subjected to home alone 2 , which might as well have been called clone alone for all of the originality it exhibited . 
for john hughes , two home alone movies weren't enough ? he began recycling the same kinds of villains and situations in almost every movie he was involved with , including a pathetic box office bomb called baby's day out , last year's live-action 101 dalmatians , and this year's flubber . 
now , inexplicably , hughes has exhumed not only these worn-out plot elements , but the "" home alone "" name as well . 
the result ? 1997's worst sequel ( edging out speed 2 and batman and robin ) , home alone 3 . 
by changing the characters , hughes ( who wrote and co-produced the film ) , along with his co-conspirator , director raja gosnell , has attempted to inject new life into a series that is way past the point of cardiac arrest . 
the new kid , alex pruitt , is played by alex d . linz ( one fine day ) , and the only thing he has going for him is terminal cuteness . 
he's not half as interesting as macaulay culkin once was . 
the villains , pale copies of joe pesci and daniel stern , are even less engaging than the pair of idiots in flubber . 
in home alone 3 , there are four of them ( olek krupa , david thornton , lenny von dohlen , and rya kihlstedt ) , but all that means is an opportunity for twice as many pratfalls . 
this time , the kid isn't left home alone because his parents have gone on a trip . 
instead , he has developed a bad case of chicken pox , so he can't go to school . 
his dad ( kevin kilner ) is away on business and his mom ( haviland morris ) has to run errands , so , for the most part , he's all by himself during the day . 
through a series of coincidences too irritating to relate , a top secret u . s . air force integrated circuit comes into his possession . 
it's wanted by a gang of four international crooks who intend to break into alex's home to retrieve it . 
the eight- year old , who is wise beyond his years , booby traps the house with all sorts of rube goldberg-type devices designed to humiliate and incapacitate the villains . 
the movie's climax takes place during a raging snowstorm ? only none of the falling flakes looks remotely believable . 
previously , the most counterfeit-looking snow effects i can remember were in star trek iii . 
these are far worse . 
in fact , the production values are so shoddy that there are some scenes in the midst of this near-blizzard when a shining sun can be seen . 
if it's a wonderful life could generate real- looking snow back in the 1940s , why can't home alone 3 , which has a significantly larger budget and '90s technology at its disposal ? 
there has been an ongoing debate regarding the appropriateness of live-action cartoon violence for young children . 
home alone 3 will add fuel to the fire . 
it's one thing to see wyle e . coyote flattened by a 10 ton acme weight , but quite another to watch a running lawn mower fall on lenny von dohlen . 
adults and even older children will recognize that this is obviously fake and intended to be humorous , but what about five and six-year olds ? 
the level of violence in home alone 3 is extreme ? many of alex's schemes are nasty enough to kill . 
but , because this is a "" family film , "" no one dies , despite being electrocuted , falling thirty feet , and getting smacked on the head by a barbell . 
not only is home alone 3 unnecessary , but it's offensive . 
it's an exercise in tediousness , and there isn't a genuine laugh to be found from the beginning to the end ( unless , by some strange quirk of fate , you have missed every 1990s movie associated with john hughes , and thus haven't seen this stuff before ) . 
i can't imagine anyone with a reasonable attention span being more than momentarily distracted by this pointless adventure . 
maybe that's why the only ones laughing at the screening i attended were still in their thumb-sucking years . 
"
"-1","conventional wisdom among collectibles retailers is that children's items begin to dramatically escalate in price about twenty-five or thirty years after the item was made . 
that's when the kids of that time have jobs , disposable income and a desire to re-visit the awe and wonderment of childhood that has disappeared from their lives . 
check out the prices of toys from the late sixties and you'll find that yogi bear lunch boxes are demanding big bucks . 
there's a heavy nostalgia nowadays for the late sixties and early seventies and nowhere is it more apparent than on the big screen . 
boomers are now mostly in their forties and fifties and have lived in the work-a-day world for a long time . 
they'd like to re-capture some of that fun they remember from days of yore . 
hollywood seems more than eager to churn out product to help them . 
directors are zealous to put their stamp on icons from that time . 
and for the most part they're messing it up . 
 "" mission impossible "" , "" lost in space "" , "" godzilla "" , "" zorro "" . 
none of these successfully capture the originals . 
none of these are even good films . 
you can now add "" the avengers "" to the list . 
the british television series began in 1961 . 
super secret agent john steed ( then-patrick macnee ) and his third partner , emma peel ( then-diana rigg ) are the pair that the american audience fell for . 
surrealistic and witty , the series fit the mood of the times . 
the leather-clad rigg probably didn't hurt the ratings either . 
after all it's not a coincidence that you can't pronounce her character's name without "" appeal "" . 
now we're in the nineties . 
steed ( now-ralph fiennes ) and peel ( now-uma thurman ) are battling evil genius sir august de wynter ( sean connery ) who is screwing with england's weather . 
that's about as much of a plot as we have . 
there's some footage about a lot of other things that either don't make sense or make even less sense . 
we get betrayal for some unknown reason . 
evil clones appear and vanish and have no connection to the film . 
remarkably ineffective giant flying robot wasps with machine guns in their belly come from nowhere for no good reason . 
there's a high tech hot air balloon , but i have no idea why anyone's in it . 
the spy agency is run by a man called "" mother "" who is in a wheelchair and a woman named "" father "" who is blind . . . at 
least in some scenes . 
there's probably a reason for all of this , but we'll never know it . 
macnee makes an appearance of sorts . 
he is the voice for an invisible man whose character goes nowhere in a scene that does nothing . 
a group of villains sits around a table , all clad in huge pastel-colored teddy bear outfits . 
at first it's humorous to watch the teddies waddle around , but then it becomes goofy . 
the movie is a medley of clutter , confusion and wrong decisions around every corner . 
it feels like major portions of the film are missing . 
the storyline jumps rather than flows . 
reportedly the film was re-cut several times . 
this is one of those times where the whole is less than the sum of the parts especially since some of the parts appear to be missing . 
there's one good point where peel is running from one room to another in a house designed by escher . 
other than that , the effects are second-rate . 
the weather threat is old hat as are the scenes of huge tornadoes . 
thurman almost makes an adequate emma peel but it doesn't work . 
she looks good , dresses in all the right fetish outfits but there's no spark . 
fiennes fares even less well . 
macnee's steed was a witty man of the world with a sense of humor . 
fiennes' agent comes across as a dour kid in grown-up clothes who has never been out of his home town . 
even connery , one of the greatest living actors , doesn't have much of a presence outside of a few fiery scenes . 
the action scenes are difficult to follow . 
director jeremiah chechik ( responsible for the atrocious remake of "" diabolique "" ) somehow manages to put the camera exactly where it shouldn't be . 
things happen , people move around , but even if , with the utmost effort , you were able to care about any of it , the scenes are bewildering . 
the primary allure of the original was the interaction between the two leads . 
witty banter and an underplayed sexual tension were a winning combination . 
admittedly there are a few humorous sexual puns in the film , but there's no chemistry and the repartee is anything but clever . 
one of emma peel's first lines of dialog is "" rules are made to be broken . "" 
it doesn't get any better . 
advance word alone should have been enough to scare off anyone . 
the release date was changed several times . 
connery refuses to promote the film . 
there was no screening for critics which may have been a good choice for warner brothers . 
at least this way , they get something of an audience for the first weekend before the news gets out . 
admittedly i haven't seen an episode of the television series for a couple of decades . 
my guess is that it would be severely dated now . 
no matter how antiquated it might be , there's no doubt that it holds up better than this film is at first viewing . 
there's no reason to waste any part of the last few days of summer inside watching this movie . 
no reason at all . 
"
"-1","the following review encompasses two versions of dune : 
dune : the theatrical version ( 1984 ) runtime : 137 minutes capsule review : cut down to just over two hours by nervous studio executives , the theatrical version of dune is a spectacular mess and may be incomprehensible to those unfamiliar with the book . 
the film's visual splendour , mystical beauty and impressive action scenes only partly compensate for gaping holes in the narrative . 
dune : the extended version ( 1988 ) runtime : 189 minutes capsule review : a bit of a throw-together assembled by mca tv special projects for cable television . 
it was disowned by director david lynch but it's considerably closer to his original vision by virtue of its improved characterisation and clearer storyline . 
quality dubs of this version from the out-of-print japanese laserdisc release are available from various dealers on the world wide web . 
 * * * the review * * * 
released in 1984 and made on a then mammoth budget of $40 million , the film of frank herbert's cult novel dune was eagerly awaited by sci-fi fans . 
director david lynch ( blue velvet , eraserhead , twin peaks ) was working on his biggest production to date , a mammoth undertaking filmed under trying conditions on location in mexico . 
the screenplay was lynch's own , chosen after the script submitted by original author herbert was rejected . 
dune is set in a universe ruled by powerful families overseen by a successive line of emperors . 
the key to cosmic power is the planet arrakis ( dune ) , a windswept desert planet that's home to giant sandworms and the precious spice melange . 
the spice is the most valuable commodity in the universe . 
it extends the life and expands the consciousness of those who consume it . 
most importantly , it allows the navigators of the spacing guild ( once human but now hideously mutated ) to "" fold space "" and navigate their spacecraft across mammoth distances instantaneously , enabling interstellar commerce and trade to flourish . 
lynch's film by necessity excises parts of the book while retaining the story's two main strands . 
one is the long-standing rivalry between two families , houses atreides and house harkonnen , and their battle for lucrative mining rights on arrakis . 
the second strand is the emergence of young paul atreides as the reluctant messiah long-awaited by the natives of arrakis , the fremen . 
the deeply religious fremen want control over their homeworld , and young paul may be the fulfilment of their prophecy that a man would come from the outer worlds and lead them to freedom . 
unfortunately , this epic story unfolds in a confusing and haphazard manner in the theatrical cut of the film , which runs 30 to 60 minutes shorter than what lynch originally intended . 
the thinking among universal's oh-so-wise money men was that films over two hours in duration were not popular with audiences at the time and would not do well at the box office . 
with lynch's initial cut running at closer to three or more hours , the studio demanded that further cuts be made . 
what a great idea ! 
why not trim down an already complex film so as to make it almost incomprehensible ? 
the most glaring consequence of this one-eyed stupidity is a hopelessly jumpy narrative , leaving us with badly underdeveloped characters . 
thus their personalities are vague , their motivations unclear and , in the case of paul's father duke leto , their demise rather meaningless . 
the end result is a distinct chill : we can't warm to most of the cast and we don't care much for them . 
and it hardly helps that the voice-over narration is sparse and that the dune-esque language and terminology sounds like so much gobbledegook to those unfamiliar with the book . 
dune is also a very serous film . 
the constant "" self-talk "" by various characters makes it so serious and self-absorbed at times that you may find it hard not to wince with embarrassment . 
the overall impression is a world full of people so intense that no one is allowed a joke lest the universe come crashing down around them . 
humour - or at least a gentle kind of humour as distinct from the harkonnen's mad , sadistic kind - is hard to find . 
you may balk at the comparison , but as a writer lynch could well have done with some lessons from george lucus' star wars trilogy . 
the theatrical version is still some way from being a complete disaster , however . 
it still possesses enough of lynch's stylistic quirks and enough visual invention to sustain the interest of viewers with a taste for imaginative sci-fi . 
special effects whiz carlo rambaldi's giant sandworms are an awesome sight . 
both the production design ( anthony masters ) and costume design ( bob ringwood ) are striking and original . 
and the magnificent score by toto and brian eno is one of the most underrated soundtracks of the last twenty years . 
with these elements in place and the benefit of freddie francis' lush cinematography , the film is at least a feast for the senses . 
see it in the widescreen format if you can . 
and despite all the cuts , several cast members still make a strong impression , most notably kenneth mcmillan as the supremely nasty baron vladimir harkonnen . 
sian phillips also registers strongly as the reverend mother gaius helen mohiam , leader of the bene gesserit religious order who's secret aim is to manipulate paul's destiny for its own shadowy ends . 
as paul atreides , the young kyle maclachlan starts off somewhat shakily , but as his character grows in strength so does his performance and he emerges as a credible leader of the fremen crusade . 
the conclusion ? 
any assessment of this film must take into account that frank herbert's original novel is a complex piece of work and presents a tough challenge for any filmmaker . 
david lynch took a brave stab at it and , partly due to forces beyond his control , ended up with an officially released version that fails in several key respects . 
dune certainly confused and frustrated a lot of people on its release . 
many chose to stay away altogether , as the film's disastrous box office showing attests . 
the extended version , however , is a rather different beast . 
in 1984 lynch stated his intention to release his own special edition "" director's cut "" of the film on home video , a clear indication of his dissatisfaction with the version that ended up in the theatres . 
but , alas , he failed to do so , choosing to move on to other projects . 
in a way , then , it is partly lynch's own fault that what appeared instead was an unauthorised extended version , put together in 1988 by mca tv special projects for airing on cable networks in the usa . 
stung into action , lynch successfully petitioned the director's guild to take his name off the credits and replace it with "" allen smithee "" , the standard pseudonym for directors who wish to disown their own work . 
he also had the screenwriting credit changed to the anonymous "" judas booth "" . 
certainly , looking at the results of mca's handiwork there's at least half a dozen instances that , for sheer technical sloppiness , are good enough reasons for the director to object . 
but these gripes must be considered in light of the improvements that the extended cut of dune offers in several crucial areas . 
most of the changes involve the restoration or extension of cut scenes and the addition of extra narration , both of which fill many holes in the original version's storyline . 
paul's relationship with his father and associates is more intimate , with moments of humour and warmth lacking previously . 
the political skulduggery involving the emperor , the spacing guild , the bene gesserits and the two warring houses is far better explained . 
paul's initiation into the fremen way of life on arrakis is also fleshed out considerably . 
and as further background , a new prologue has been added featuring narration and painted stills to give us a brief history of the dune universe . 
as a piece of storytelling , then , mca tv's version of dune is clearly superior . 
as a piece of editing , however , it is at times surprisingly inept . 
the use of painted stills in the new prologue works well enough , but their occasional appearance once the action begins is inappropriate . 
there's some sloppy cutting , too , and in a few instances shots even appear out of order . 
and the use of repeated footage to fabricate certain scenes ( eg . 
ships coming and going , soldiers coming and going ) is at times clearly out-of-context . 
this is the kind of thing to which lynch objected , and rightly so . 
it should also be noted that several questionable scenes and shots from the theatrical version were deleted to satisfy the censorship demands of u . s . television . 
but the most notable omission is a gratuitous piece of nonsense from lynch that wasn't even in herbert's book . 
the scene features baron harkonnen killing a beautiful young man in front of his slobbering henchmen by pulling out his "" heart plug "" . 
its a surreal and disturbing episode that's very lynch-esque but adds nothing to what we already know : the baron is a nasty piece of work . 
despite its own peculiar flaws , then , the extended version of dune is a generally superior film . 
all up , it contains 35 minutes of restored footage and approximately another 15 minutes of either altered , fabricated or newly created sequences . 
unless the idiosyncratic lynch has a sudden change of heart , the "" alan smithee "" version remains the closest we'll get to what the movie should have been . 
on repeated viewings , one suspects it is closer than what lynch would be prepared to admit . 
still , as one of this century's great science-fiction novels , some fans and perhaps the late herbert himself would argue that dune deserved a better fate in its transfer to the screen . 
with rumours circulating of a new six hour mini-series planned by production company new amsterdam entertainment in 1998 , it is unlikely that we have heard the last of the dune saga . 
"
"-1","in 1970s , many european intellectuals , especially those on the left political hemisphere , became obsessed with the rise of fascism . 
which wasn't so hard to expect , because the social turmoil of 1960s and economic decline of 1970s seemed to be the breeding ground for many dangerous ideologies . 
in such times , when political involvement could be associated with noble passion , many filmmakers tried to warn the present generations of dangers that lurk ahead by giving the look of pre-war europe and circumstances that led to phenomena like fascist italy and nazi germany . 
of course , there were authors who jumped on the bandwagon for other , less noble reasons . 
for them , moral depravity of fascism could be explained to the audience by explicitly showing sexual depravity of those era . 
which , naturally , made some of those films very popular among teen audience . 
one of such filmmakers was italian director tinto brass , who later made career shooting expensive , stylish soft porn . 
salon kitty , his 1976 film , is very losely based on the novel by peter nordern , book that deals with bizarre yet true story that took place in the first years of ww2 . 
in 1939 , walter schellenberg , one of the heads of nazi intelligence service has set up the elite , exclusive brothel in berlin with clientele comprised of top nazi officials and foreign diplomats . 
none of the customers knew that the girls were all nazi agents , and that all the rooms happened to be bugged . 
the most bizarre thing is the fact that not even kitty , nominal madame of the brothel , didn't know the real purpose of that enterprise . 
screenplay by tinto brass , of course , simplifies the story and changes few names . 
schellenberg is now wallenberg ( helmut berger ) , ambitious nazi official who wants to use the brothel in order to blackmail his way to the top . 
kitty kellerman ( ingrid thulin ) , apart from being madam , has a second job as a cabaret singer . 
caught in the net of depravity is sweet , innocent girl margerithe ( theresa ann savoy ) thrown into brothel . 
there she falls in love with customer hans reiter ( bekim fehmiu ) , disenchanted pilot of luftwaffe . 
when margerithe discovers that her lover had been executed for defeatist speeches he made in the brothel , she finds out that the place is bugged . 
she informs the madam of the real situation , and both women decide to confront wallenberg . 
those who tend to bash benigni for exploiting holocaust as the topic of comedy would probably go bananas watching this film , that uses the darkest pages of european history for cheap sexploitation . 
but , although salon kitty doesn't happen to be anything more than rather more stylish and expensive soft porn ( although not very successful ; some of supposedly erotic scenes are quite unappealing ) , it does try to have more multidimensional characters and even something resembling dramatic conflict - this time between power-hungry and scruples wallenberg and hedonistic womanhood symbolised by kitty . 
unfortunately , brass seems to overuse other cinematical references , probably thinking that he could repeat the successful interaction of berger and thulin in luchino visconti's the damned , but the most noticeable and irritating is ingrid thulin's unsuccessful attempt to imitate lisa minelli's musical numbers from cabaret . 
all in all , salon kitty is failure , although with some very interesting moments . 
"
"-1","dr dolittle ( 20th century fox ) running time : 1 hour 25 minutes starring eddie murphy directed by betty thomas riding high on the success of the nutty professor ( 1996 ) , murphy returns in this abysmal comedy . 
he plays doctor john dolittle , who as a child had the ability to understand animals . 
however , after being 'exorcised' he loses this ability , and we fast forward to see dolittle in a crummy job surrounding by crummy people ( most notably dr mark weller , played by oliver platt . ) 
however , with a bonk on the head his ability to understand animals returns , and 'comedy' is ready and waiting to happen . 
except comedy never does happen . 
doctor dolittle , even with the excellent premise , rarely manages to raise a laugh . 
poor old murphy looks bored stiff throughout the whole movie , and his performance suffers . 
the manic murphy we saw in the 80's is gone , his more mature ( and more boring ) twin appears to be getting all the work in the 90's . 
the voices of the animals , which include albert brooks , chris rock ( the 'new' eddie murphy ) and norm mcdonald as 'lucky' the dog are marginally better , and at least they put enthusiasm in the movie . 
sadly , most of their lines are pretty dumb . 
and they're not 'funny' dumb , like dumb & dumber ( 1994 ) , but just boring dumb . 
the film even succumbs to fart jokes halfway through , in a desperate attempt to raise some laughs . 
there are a few good jokes in the script , but they are few and far between . 
if i had to choose a favourite performance , it would probably be albert brooks tiger , who has a certain charm about him . 
sadly , he's barely in the movie , and rock's really annoying hamster is given far too much screen time . 
joke wise , we are thankfully , spared the mocking and insulting type of jokes that featured heavily in the nutty professor . 
the director , betty thomas , has , well , done better films . 
she bought us private parts ( 1997 ) and the brady bunch movie ( 1995 ) which were , sadly , much better than this . 
the scenes lack any charm , she just gets the job done . 
the animals themselves , are reasonable realistic , although most of them are obviously puppets . 
there's an impressive looking tiger , however , and the lip sync is pretty good . 
you'd have no problem guessing that most of the close up's are puppets , however , with their jilted movement . 
i was hoping jim hensons workshop , who created the furry friends , would have done a better job . 
doctor dolittle , in the end , is a disappointment for everyone involved . 
murphy has done much better movies ( i . e 
trading places ) the director has seen better days , and even the creatures aren't that good . 
the target audience , aged between 7-13 , who are undemanding , will probably like it however , thanks to it's dumbed down humour . 
everyone else , however , should give doctor dolittle a miss . 
"
"-1","the general's daughter is a heartless , absurd film , a movie so hopelessly dedicated to its inane plot that it forgets entirely about its own characters . 
director simon west treats issues like rape and sexual fetish with ham-handed obscenity , creating a film that banks almost entirely on exploitation and offensive pseudo-depth . 
what's worse is that the movie is haphazardly glued together by two characters who are neither interesting nor sympathetic -- the ridiculous story requires them to do unbelievable things in the interest of reaching a dark conclusion in a sudden rain storm . 
john travolta finds himself in the middle of the mess , playing warrant officer paul brenner ; brenner is assigned to find the murderer and rape of captain elizabeth campbell ( leslie stefanson ) , daughter of general joe campbell ( james cromwell ) . 
brenner is teamed up with ex-spouse sarah sunderland ( madeline stowe ) , and they check out all the suspects on the base , including elizabeth's mentor , colonel moore ( james woods ) . 
soon , it becomes apparent that elizabeth was into kinky sexual stuff , but the question comes down to why -- and , of course , who . 
ebert's law of the economy of characters can be applied here ; one interesting thing i noted is that not only are all the characters suspects at some point ( including the two protagonists ) , but almost all of them end up directly intertwined with the story . 
perhaps i should have issued a spoiler alert before mentioning that , but it's painfully obvious from the beginning that everyone in the film is hiding something . 
on a story level , the general's daughter is ineptly constructed . 
the film , adapted by christopher bertolini and william goldman from nelson demille's novel ( which was apparently based on a true story ) , plods along to its conclusion , filling in the blanks with stale , unrealistic dialogue and "" shocking "" plot developments . 
having not read the novel , it's difficult to determine if these problems are the fault of the adapters or the original author , but i suppose they all are guilty to some degree . 
scene after scene stumbles with pointless insincerity ; minutes after finding the dead young woman , brenner and sunderland engage in sarcastic dialogue , which includes endless strings of forced lines . 
 ( sunderland actually asks brenner , "" why was she killed ? "" 
to which i would have answered , "" if i knew , then the movie would already be over . "" ) 
only after we've spent twenty minutes or so with these characters do we learn that they have a sordid history together ; this angle , though apparently present to develop their characters , is never explored . 
not that it really matters , since the characters consistently do ludicrous things for no other reason than to drive the plot . 
in one scene , sunderland is attacked by a man in a mask . 
she sees one of his rings , and she and brenner find the man later that day based on the ring . 
instead of questioning him like as they would a real suspect , they take him to brenner's houseboat , beat him up , and pour hot coffee in his lap . 
this scene really pushed me over the edge , not because it's gratuitous and mean-spirited , but because it illustrates the film's complete disregard for the characters and the audience . 
it was impossible for me to feel anything for these people beyond this scene , mostly because nothing they do comes as a surprise . 
i realized that these constructs on screen aren't actually characters , but devices present only to serve the story . 
this would have been bad enough without the west's need to hose his movie down in tasteless images of rape and sexual misconduct . 
compelling films about sexual crimes don't spend a lot of time on rape flashbacks , and they certainly don't show as much skin and sweat as a typical pornographic picture . 
these scenes are not the least bit powerful ; on the contrary , they're intended simply to provide the audience with the necessary resentment for the villain , whomever that may turn out to be . 
in addition , the movie treats sexual fetishes -- and sadomasochism in particular -- as if it's a perversion of everything we know to be pure . 
this standpoint is certainly allowed , but only in accompaniment with well-developed themes to back it up . 
as it is , the film forgets that a lot of people have sexual fetishes , and that putting on a pair of handcuffs does not make a person insane . 
perhaps the only positive elements in the general's daughter are a couple of the performances . 
james woods has a few terrific scenes , and plays his role with sharp , witty subtlety . 
i also liked james cromwell , mostly because he comes across as slightly sympathetic despite the obvious intent of west to make him villainous . 
nonetheless , these performances are undermined entirely by the dreary , obligatory atmosphere and the senseless neglect of characterization . 
the general's daughter is the worst kind of hollywood film -- it pretends to have a soul , to be of strict moral code , when in fact it has nothing more than a group of cardboard cut-outs force-feeding the audience a toxic landfill of plot contrivances and one-sided moral judgments . 
"